#basically for myself but y’all can read too

[rrenzwrld]

lovefool

an original story w original characters and a semi-original plot

it’s in episodes bc i wanna be different and yes characters are black bc i’m black (except one but he 50/50 so we gonna let it slide)

just something i write in the notes when i’m bored and i enjoy reading it (yes i enjoy reading my own stuff when i’m bored it’s okay). and if you wanna know more about the characters, lemme know! (even tho i doubt anyone will see this so i’m just posting this to make myself feel good)

episode 1

chy’anne

“girl you have to come to the game with us tonight,” i rolled my eyes. “please~? my sister will pick us up and drop us off.”

“and why? you know i don’t care about no fuckin football.” never have, never will. what was special about this particular game, i didn’t know until my best friend was happy enough to remind me.

“okay but, you know who plays~” laila sang in my ear. i smiled as i thought about the only reason i would even think to attend a game. andreas andino. that man was fine outta his mind. it’s a shame my crush on him for the past 6 years did me no good. i bet he’s never even thought about talking to me. but in his defense, i’ve never thought about talking to him either. it wasn’t like we were complete strangers. we’ve been going to school together since elementary i just never had the guts to talk to him because he’s always been in that circle and i’m not.

“see? we should go for the one time. just for him.” it wouldn’t be so bad if the only reason was to see him. i didn’t really care about the other stuff.

“i’ll go but i don’t have shit to wear.” laila stood up from my bed and walked to my closet.

“oh, baby. we can fix that.”

once she found something appropriate for me to wear, i took my braids out the bun and put on my glasses for the night.

when we got there, the stands were packed full as if everyone thought they were watching a nfl football game. i heard our team was good, but i didn’t know how good.

“damn this bitch more packed than a mothafucker,” laila commented as we looked around for open seats. when we spotted two of our other friends, nashae and namir up high in the stands. we made our way up and scooted in next to them

“we see you brought the hermit.” namir commented. i rolled my eyes.

“she only here because she wants to see—“

“andino~” the three of them sang like little cupids.

“all of yall can go to hell.” they snickered at my reaction.

“don’t worry, you didn’t miss too much of the show. just starting second quarter.”

“your man been hittin some touchdowns, girl.” nashae squealed.

i sat up to see if i could recognize him out on the field. “what number is he?”

“twenty.” namir smirked. and there i saw him. running the ball with his long light brown hair sticking out the helmet he wore. i didn’t know anything at all about what he was doing, but i could watch him do it all day.

“aw hell.. we lost her.”

“earth to chy’anne.” laila started snapping her fingers in my face.

“huh..” i turned to her.

“i’m going to the concession stand, you want something?” she asked as she stood up and began to walk down.

“y-yeah, but i’m comin with you.” i followed her down the stands and to the concession stand.

after we grabbed some chips and sodas, we sat back down to watch the game. the game lasted about another two hours before it was nearing the end and people were starting to get up to leave to beat traffic.

“we leavin yall?” nashae stood up and asked all of us.

“yeah we can go. you ready to go, chy?” i wasn’t ready to go. i kinda wanted to see if i could talk to andreas before i left but i wasn’t sure if that was possible or not.

“nah she wanna stay and see her man~” nashae smiled as namir stood up with their stuff. we all stood up and we’re at the the bottom of the stands by the gate now.

“well i’m her ride so, bye yall~” nashae and namir said their goodbyes to laila and i before we waited around by the gate for the players to come out. almost everyone had left by this point. after they did their team stuff, andreas actually started to walk over to the gate where we were. he was still in his uniform pants but the only difference was that he took his shirt and helmet off. so he was walking over to us with a white tank top and his uniform pants. but his hair, my god his hair! it was all over the place because of the helmet but it was beautifully brown and bushy, like a lion’s mane and it touched the midsection of his back.

“girl how long we gon be—“

“he comin…over here. he really comin over here.”

“don’t do no stupid shit.” laila quickly whispered to me before he completely faced us from the other side of the gate.

“hey, chy’anne?” oh my fuck, he spoke to me.

“h-hey, andino— i mean, andreas. i’m sorry.” i could hear laila mentally face palm herself behind me.

“you can call me andino, it’s fine. people do it all the time.” he smiled with all his pretty white teeth and his pretty little dimples to match. “anyways, you waiting for someone?”

laila came from behind me. “she was waitin for you, pretty boy.” i guessed this was her version of moving things along because i definitely was not doing the best at that right now.

andreas looked at me with raised brows. “oh? ‘that so?” he looked at me inquisitively with those chocolately brown eyes.

“came to the game just for her andino~” she really did not just do that?

he laughed. “really?” i felt so embarrassed. crawling into a hole and going to sleep or something sounded real good right about now…

“she’ll tell you all about it. listen, chy i’m gonna be in the car when you’re ready. bye~” she left me alone with andreas after doing that, knowing i didn’t really know how to talk to him without tripping over my own tongue.

“andino~” he mocked before laughing again.

“are you mocking me?” he started walking along the gate and i started walking too.

“no, no. i think it’s kinda…” he jumped over to the other side. “kinda cute, actually.”

“really?” he thinks i’m cute?

“yeah. i actually didn’t expect you to come tonight.”

“yeah normally i’m at home but laila wanted me to come so..”

he scoffed. “sure.” everytime i’m near him, i forget how freakishly tall and big he is. the width of one of his arms was the size of my head.

“you, uh, look nice tonight, by the way.” was he really paying attention to me that hard?

“aww really?” i knew he didn’t really care about how i looked and it was just something to talk about.

“yeah, actually. you always look good.” i rolled my eyes. “if you think i’m bullshittin you, i’m not.” must’ve read my mind.

all i could do was hum, i didn’t know how to talk to him beyond this point and i was getting sleepy and it was getting late.

“can i give you my number? unless you already have it..” i took out my phone and looked through it.

“i don’t.”

we exchanged numbers and he ended up walking me to laila’s sister’s car.

“i’ll try to text you tomorrow.”

“why? you need something?” he looked at me like i did something wrong.

“no i just, just wanna talk to you.” he talked to me in that low rasp and i almost fell out right there. i wasn’t used to people texting me if they didn’t want help with work or something.

“o-okay.. goodnight, andino.”

he laughed. “goodnight, chy’anne.” he told me before i got into the car and we drove on.

“you did it again.”

“goddamnnit..” i whispered to myself.

[xinanigans]

Random burst of motivation save me…

Random burst of motivation..

[midnightwriter21]

jjk hcs: the jjk boys as boyfriends

characters: yuji itadori, megumi fushiguro, yuta okkotsu

warnings: none (i think?)

AN: if there’s anymore boyfriend hcs that you’d like to see lmk!! read gojo & nanami as boyfriends HERE

YUJI ITADORI

oh girl i am JEALOUS

he can be a little air headed at times but he’s the sweetest bf ever

i say he’s air headed but he’s actually very attentive

you get half an inch trimmed off your hair?

he notices immediately

“babe your hair looks great!”

notices everything about you actually

from your favorite color

to the brand of PENS you prefer to use

who tf notices the brand of pens people use?!?

yuji does

yk the tiktoks of boys picking entire BUSHES of flowers for their girlfriends

that’s him.

he straight up rips a whole bush out of the ground from the front of jujutsu high to give to you

principal yaga was not amused

gojo was tho

HE PRINTS OUT YOUR INSTAGRAM PICTURES TO REPLACE THE POSTERS OF MODELS ON HIS WALL

he’s so proud that your his girl fr

oh and he’s gotta hella pet names for you too

they’re all super basic

babe, sweetheart, cutie, etc.

he flirts w u like y’all aren’t together

awful pickup lines and everything

“do you have a mirror in ur pants? cause i can see myself in them.”

if u don’t think he’s the cutest then u can go argue with the wall bye

MEGUMI FUSHIGURO

he has me in a chokehold

anyways

at the beginning of y’all’s relationship he’s awkward as fuck

but he eases up pretty quickly

veryyyyyy private with y’all’s relationship

if you somehow get him to hold your hand in public let alone give you a kiss?!?

girl count ur blessings fr

and it’s not bc he’s embarrassed of your relationship or anything no ma’am

it’s bc he would NEVER hear the end of it from gojo, nobara, and yuji

valid excuse

but when you two are alone?

oh girl it’s like he’s glued to you

when i say clingy? i mean it

also

king of nap time!!

he’s kidnapping u, bring you to his dorm room, dropping u on the bed, and laying completely on top of you

swear it’s his solution to everything

ur tired? it’s nap time

sad abt something? it’s nap time

a curse beat ur ass? it’s nap time

gojo is being annoying? it’s nap time

nap time cures everything ong

he’s not too crazy w the pet names

in private he’ll call you babe

in public you’re lucky if he adds a -chan to ur name lol

he’s so pretty boy

also can we appreciate his gorgeous luscious eyelashes?

no? okay

YUTA OKKOTSU

i would give my first born to make him feel happy, safe, and loved

KING OF MY HEART

he’s so baby

he’s the type of bf that no matter how long y’all have been dating he still gets flustered over you

y’all been together for an hour? he’s blushing when you give him a kiss on the cheek

y’all been together for a week? he’s blushing when you give him a kiss on the cheek

y’all been together for a year? he’s BLUSHING WHEN YOU GIVE HIM A KISS ON THE CHEEK

HE. IS. BLUSHING.

which is so incredibly endearing and innocent

but don’t get me wrong

mess with this man too much?

oh he’ll snap

he has the patience of a saint. but when it runs out?

oh ur in for it miss gurl

period.

teasing him a lil too much tryna make him flustered

when he finally snaps he is switching that dynamic up real quick

now he’s the one smirking and feeling all smug while you’re the one with the bright red face

ahem…

anyways

yuta’s love for you is very intense

now don’t start thinking HE is intense cause no

i mean yuta loves you so much that he might just crawl up inside ur body and live there

that type of intense

you occupy his mind 99.9% of the time

he’s on a mission and has time to stroll through the mall

“oh y/n would like that” aND HE’S BUYING IT

he’s chit chatting with inumaki and panda

best believe he finds a way to bring you up in conversation

“oh! that reminds me y/n said something the other day about…”

he is the softest ever when it comes to pet names

sweetheart, my love, princess, etc.

i’m so soft for him he deserve the world

[isackwhy]

Hi hi! I was reading through your stories and I love them all! I was wondering if you be down to write a story where the reader and Isaac are dating, but the main focus is on the rest of the group. They all love the reader and treat her as if she's their sister? Ty!

yes omg this is such a cute idea

reader x platonic! group hc’s / isaac x reader!

the boys love u like so much

whether y’all were bffs before u n isaac started dating or after

u help them film stuff but they have to remind u not to film isaac the whole time

if ur a streamer or youtuber whatever they help u w ur stuff as well

constantly streaming w them

like isaac isn’t even there half the time

u tanner and larry play A LOT of roblox tg and y’all are a little trio it’s adorable

i feel like nick would just call u his sister like

when u guest star on the occasional podcast there was one time where they were doing that compliment thing and they included u bc u were there

nick was like, “it’s like having a sister around. or like a little sister and it’s great like you’re great y/n.”

bullied a lot

not in like an extreme way just expect to get like pelted w shit while ur at the house

also very protective

ur a woman who makes content like ur already a target by being a woman

if u guys are all out isaac ofc has his arm around u but the rare time y’all are like out at a party or bar or like at twitchcon or something the boys just keep an extra eye on u the whole time

“i can handle myself guys,” u remind them

“we know. we’re just gonna—help.” tanner smiles

they happily listen to u talk ur shit they get mad invested too

if ur dating isaac ur older than grunk. i hope.

so he def sees u as like his older sister

they take so many .5 pictures of u

“no—no—that’s like the 5th one today, larry!”

i feel like yumi would tease u the most

he just gives annoying brother vibes

u force them to make tik toks and u post some but can’t if isaac decides to photo bomb it

“WE HIT THAT SHIT. WE CANT POST IT BC OF UR FACE!” tanner yells bc you’ve been doing this for like 30 minutes at this point

if u guys were all bffs b4 u n isaac then they def knew about ur individual feelings and lord almighty were they all just waiting for y’all to get ur shit tg

u hid it for like 3 weeks after u finally got tg until u guys just kissed in the kitchen and they all had their jaws dropped

“HOLY SHIT. HOLY—FINALLY. FINALLY!” yumi runs around the house screaming

if isaac leaves a hickey on u—pls try and hide it. you’ll never hear the end of it

they include u on everything basically

it’s like having 6 body guards at all times

i just woke up i apologize if this is SHIET

[gingerjunhan]

boyfriend headcannons - han hyeongjun

☆彡 EEEEEEKK it’s Jun Han time! :D 🩷

word count: 690 | pronouns used: none | genre: fluff, established relationship | cws: YouTube like is safe!!, all caps, (Hyeongjun’s) insecurities mentioned, eating mentioned, I love him, not proofread, lmk if I missed something

← previous member | next member →

obviously, I have a lot to say

here we go

first things first, Hyeongjun shows you how he loves you instead of telling you

there was some radio interview they did one time where the other members said he doesn’t say “I love you much”

so he makes sure to physically show his appreciation for you

what’s that? you were stressed from your workload? Hyeongjun made you dinner and cleaned up your place while you were out

you’re feeling nervous about a big job interview? he got you flowers to wish you good luck

stuff like that

I also feel like someone somewhere said that Hyeongjun is really good with dates?

idk maybe I’m gaslighting myself into thinking that

but he never never forgets anything!

birthdays, anniversaries, important events- he’s there

I also think a lot about the one Knock Down Debate that they did where Hyeongjun yelled at the others because they never pick up their phones when he calls them

so hey, at least he’s good at communication in that aspect

I don’t think Hyeongjun is one for pet names

I literally cannot picture him calling someone a pet name, but I could easily be wrong

if he did I feel like they would be simple

“honey”

“love”

“sweetie”

short and sweet stuff

he gets flustered easily if you call him something though!

I feel like it would be really easy to fluster him

STOOOPP imagine Hyeongjun meeting your pets

forget about your family- let this man meet your cat

okay but fr this man is sweating buckets meeting your family

he’s afraid that they would think he’s too quiet or too boring :(

but once they get to know him and once he warms up to them that’s obviously not true!

I mean, come on, look at the way that man can shred on the guitar. there is not a boring bone in his body

he’s a kiss on the cheek typa guy

no big fancy gestures

just something cute, simple, and sweet

he actually doesn’t strike me as a big gesture guy at all?

no wait let me explain

let me cook

not big on PDA, not the best with words, and he wouldn’t feel like his acts of kindness are very big

like, he let you hold on to kkito while he was away for a few days so you wouldn’t miss him- why are you crying?

ugh I wanna squeeze him :(

he will come to you with any sort of problem no matter how big or how small

he trusts you completely

he would literally be your friend first and your boyfriend second

Hyeongjun strikes me as the type to not need affection much, but when he does he’s a little nervous to ask

“Jun, what’s wrong?”

“I need a hug.” :(

you almost don’t hear him but y’all are so close that you can figure it out

you can basically read his mind

I feel like a relationship with Hyeongjun would go slow, and that’s okay!

why mess with perfection 😉

no need to rush first kisses or first I love yous

you’re just having fun together!

HE MAKES A PLAYLIST OF SONGS THAT REMIND HIM OF YOU 😭😭😭😭

“This song played in the restaurant during our first date.”

“This song was stuck in my head right before you kissed me for the first time.”

“This song was-“ STOP IT I can’t do this anymore

ALWAYS makes sure you’re taking care of yourself

making sure you eat meals and get enough rest

he’s so open minded!

I feel like he has strong opinions, but he’s chill with most things?

those two things literally cancel out but whatever

he buys clothes that he also thinks you would like in case you want to steal them 😼

pays very close attention to detail!

no new haircut or nail color goes unnoticed!

he draws little pictures of you in his sketchbook all the time :(

loving Hyeongjun is gentle, calm, and fun- like sitting in the grass on a sunny day

no pressure, no rush, just you two having fun being together 🩷

god I love him so much

taglist: @dazzlingligth , @mini-mews , @mxlly143 , @somethingaboutcheese , comment to be added!⁎⁺˳✧༚

[ninisworld444]

I’m gonna tell you guys how i made it to the void state - it was so fucking easy

First Here is the list of pick a card reading i watched that helped me get closer to my angels and the universe

- I just close my eyes think about the title of the video and then open my eyes and it’s the one my eyes fall on first or is drawn too

1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 , 6 , 7 , 8 , 9, - The first 5 are kinda of a must in my opinion but watch anything by avalon intuitive and esotarot that catches your eye.. they are always accurate and they are the only channels i watch at the moment.. The ones about Manifesting and your path and your angels and your soul or messages are the best videos

Here are three videos i watched that change my perspective on manifesting.. 1 and 2 - i feel like watching these videos are a must because you won’t have to look at other ones or read any books lol i’m lazy :)

Now here’s how i got there…

I’ve been trying for about 2-3 months and didn’t get any symptoms or anything like that so i kinda gave up but then i watched those video and it basically told me to ask my guides for help…

yesterday, So when i was laying down, I talked to my guides/myself lol. in my head and basically talked about the reasons i wanted to change certain things about myself and things that happened to me that caused trauma… I also said at the end that i’m ready to give that past up and move on and i asked for their help and thanked them for giving everything i needed so far then i went to bed.. towards the end of my dream i said this is weird.. like this dream can’t be real next thing you know i’m in my room but it weird because it’s like i walked past my tv but i physically can’t in real life because my tv is too close to my bed… so i thought i am still dream so i said, i am in the void state take me there but then things started to slow down and i woke up [ the date today is June 22,2022 ]

then i laid there on my stomach and thought, hmm what if i try to get to the void state… now i’m not gonna do y’all like how these other pages do.. i think their advice is nice but they talk about how they got to the void state, they build up the story and then just say that they just did it, Or just do it

I will not do that to y’all… this is what happened… when i started saying my affirmations, i said wait let me get relaxed first… At first my brain went off track and thought of other things/ Saying i can’t make it to the void state but then i said subconscious thank you for trying to protected me and help me but now i need to move on from that past I am not the nini that was afraid of manifesting and the void state.. So then i closed my eyes and started saying, i am over and over again and then this old 2000s song came in my head but instead of pulling away from it or trying to make it go away… i let it play in my head and kept saying i am and then i felt the middle of my torso move away from my bed but the rest of my body didn’t and then it stopped but then i told myself I am ready let’s go and started saying i am again then my whole body started lifting up and up and as soon as it got to the second part of the chorus, it went silent… I couldn’t hear my fan and i couldn’t hear my brother who was watching tv loud in the living room… i got so excited that i didn’t ground myself there so i got pulled out but i will try again tonight …

I wouldn’t lie to y’all i’ve cried because of not getting to the void state because i’m currently poor with only 3 dollars in my bank account so i need to manifest… but i hope that helps

You can do it and you can send me any questions .. you have

[ manifest: but i’m not poor, i’m actually rich asf lol ]

[otherwiseitwasntfun]

I’ve seen other people doing this so,,,reasons I’ve got for doing this

TO BE WORTH COMFORTING that’s number one omg y’all don’t even know I NEED to be so small and have someone hold me so close and comfort me so nice I just need to fuck myself up enough for people to actually care!!!

TO BE ABLE TO WEAR LITTLE KID CLOTHES this goes into the comfort thing too I think like I wanna dress like a fucking eight year old I swear that would solve soooo many of my problems. The smallest clothes I can theoretically fit into right now are boys 10-12. I have a shirt in that size but the sleeves make my arms look weird </3

TO HAVE CONTROL OF SOMETHING FOR ONCE it feels like my life is spiraling aaaaall the time idk what else to say

BECAUSE IM HAVING FUCKING FUN WITH IT another one I don’t need to elaborate on

TO HAVE A FEELING OF ACCOMPLISHMENT I’ve been better in school this year but for a few years I totally flunked and basically got kicked outta the gifted program so this can be a surrogate for academic success!!!

TO BE MORE INTERESTING I read too fucking much and I keep romanticizing my life in bookish sorta ways and I really really wanna write a good fuckin memoir one day so maybe if I get fucked up enough that can serve as inspiration???

[sh1-n0bu]

✿ 𝙪𝙣𝙚𝙭𝙥𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙚𝙙 ✿

Character: Vampire! Scaramouche x Reader

Warning: Blood, biting, nudity (but nothing too nsfw, y’all just open your button up shirts), cursing, angst, fluff, hurt/reverse comfort, gn! reader, Scaramouche might be a bit OOC here, Victorian!AU, a bit of everything lmao

no beta-read, we die like my will to live

first time actually writing on Tumblr low-key nervous ngl🤭

‘Whew, what a long day. But at least I managed to sell a lot tod-‘ hearing a glass shatter as you were closing up your tiny herbs and medicine shop was definitely not the way you wanted to finish your night. Your little shop was the only one that sells medicine in this small town without charging for extra moras unlike the big, famous ones the rich people like to go to. Everyone in this small town was forever grateful and respectful to you and your shop. Whenever your new boxes of goods would come, the people would always lend you a hand without you asking for it, and for that you were always grateful. So when your shop’s second floor window suddenly got broken in by a short man with a noble people clothes, you were greatly surprised. But now was not the time because he was bleeding and you don’t enjoy letting blood get everywhere unless it’s the small surgery room.

“Sir! Sir, can you hear me? Sir? I need you to get up so i can carry you to the surgery room!” shaking his shoulders while asking him basic questions, you definitely know his still alive because he still had a pulse. Before you can forcefully drag him like a corpse to the lower floor, the man yanked you down to the floor and straddled your waist.

“Hey! What do you think your doing?!” usually you’re not one for violence but if he was drunk off his ass and was thinking of molesting you, he’s got a rough, calloused hand to be slapped by.

“Shut up… I don’t h-have enough time… for your stupid babbling… nonsense…” before you can question what he was mumbling about the stranger tore off your cravet tie and had placed his mouth on your neck.

“You-?! Get off of me this instant you- Ow!” when you tried to kick him off, the stranger pinned your hands down and bit your neck harshly. You can already feel blood pouring out and it was not pleasant. Through all of your suffering the man was sucking and licking the blood off, almost like a depraved animal and you swore you could feel something akin to animal fangs penetrating your neck before your vision started to have black dots in the corner and you passed out due to blood loss.

—

When you woke up the next morning with a perfectly bandaged neck and your assaulter coming into the small attic room with something to eat and drink, you were ready to throw hands. It didn’t matter to you if he was some rich, snobby, nobleson or even the son of the queen. For all you care, this son of a bitch bit your neck so hard to the point he drew blood and caused you to pass out.

“Oh, you’re awake. Now before you start screaming your lungs off like a banshee let me explain myself first”

“And why the hell should I? You son of a bitch bit me like a fucking animal!” he chuckled at that. Now that you actually took a closer look at him, he was a rather odd looking fellow. There wasn’t anything rare or monstrous about his looks but, there was just something odd about him. And one thing you learned from years of running and managing a shop all by yourself is to trust your guts.

“Well you’re an interesting little thing. I have never met a human who reacts like you after what happened. But if you want me to explain myself then you have to keep your mouth shut little mouse”. You certainly didn’t like the way he referred to you. Like some kind of an insect, some kind of a toy that’s for his amusement who will later on get thrown away if he lost interest in you. But as long as he doesn’t get a centimeter closer, then you’re willing to cooperate.

“Fine. But if you get closer to me I won’t hesitate to smack you out of the window you broke last night” he laughed dryly at that. Seems like he was getting more and more amused by you and your choice of words.

“Oh, you’re an interesting one little mouse. Makes me want to keep toying with you like this. So little mouse…” he stalked closer to you despite what you had just said and leaned down to look at you right in the eyes. You didn’t like it. Not one bit. You wanted to punch him in his face and knock his teeth in but moving has never felt harder and your limbs has never felt like tons of bricks before. So you decided to challenge him and stared right back. The stranger’s stormy violet eyes seemed to darken and swirl. Getting uncomfortably close to your face he asked

“…Do you believe in vampires?”

—

It has already been 11 months since your run in with Scaramouche. Ever since he dropped the bomb that yes, vampires are very much real and not just some fairytale told by story-tellers and your parents to keep you awake at night you and Scaramouche had started some odd relationship. He would come by every now and then, through the door thankfully, and stay the night or a few in an exchange of helping you out with your shop. You would sometimes teach him a thing or two about herbs, medicines, wound treatment and he would talk about his kin and about himself if he feels like it. And on some nights, he would tear off your tie, forcefully pin you down and suck your blood until you passed out then in the morning you would scold him as he treats the bitemarks that he caused. It was a very strange relationship, the two of you had. More intimate than friends but not intimate enough to be considered lovers. Reading each other like an open book but also not exactly knowing what each other do or even enjoy. It was an odd line Scaramouche and you two were threading on.

The bells that hung above your hole in the corner shop’s doors jingled softly as someone came in. The medic knew who it was for this had happened all too frequently. A creaking of the woods sounded closer and closer until the person plotted down on the couch of the backrooms. Finishing up cleaning some jars and boxes, the medic saw the very same vampire they formed an odd relationship with over the last 11 months.

“How was the trip?”

“Fucking tiring” came the groan of Scaramouche. Snickering at his dramatic self, they handed him a cup of tea. The vampire gulped down the whole cup of tea, ignoring how his throat burned. Setting the cup down Scaramouche got up from his seat confusing the shop-keeper.

“Are you leaving again this so-?” before they could finish their question, said vampire began taking off his clothes. Tailcoat, tie, blazer, white button down shirt all fell down on the couch he was sitting on.

Coughing into their gloves, the medic turned their face away hoping to conceal the blooming red on their face, trying to forget what just happened from their memory. Now, the medic was no prude and they got quite used to seeing half naked people due to some harsh injury treatments. But no man they ever performed on was as good-looking as the hot vampire standing in front of them.

“W-what do you think you’re doing? When the shop is still open none the less?” bringing a hand up to cover the side of their face so they won’t accidentally look at his half naked form, the shop owner tried to cool off their face.

Looking at the flustered medic, the vampire smirked, a very mischievous idea forming in his head. Taking the hand that was covering the side of their face, the purple-head looked up studying every detail. His smirk widens when your face gets redder, loving how he was teasing you. His other hand came up to hold your chin, leaning his face in closer and closer to yours, until he suddenly pushed you down on the couch. The hand that was holding yours pinning it down while the other works on taking off your tie and unbuttoning your button down shirt.

“Hey! What the hell do you think you’re doing now?!” grabbing the hand that was stripping you, your [c] eyes looked at his stormy purple ones.

“I’m thirsty. I’ve been away for a week and i’ve only been drinking animal blood and those were fucking disgusting”

“Then why did you take off your clothes dumbass?!”

“They were dirty” he was quite blunt with it. After looking in his eyes if he was lying or not - finding none - you sighed and slowly let go of his hand, letting him finish with his previous actions. Now basically both of you were half-naked.

Fuck, the sexual tension is too damn much, why isn’t he biting? By now he should be on his process of sucking you dry until you pass out but he wasn’t. Instead he was just looking down at you.

Scaramouche’s POV

Oh fuck. He had you like this before but at that time he was too blinded by his hunger he didn’t realize just how damn ethereal you are. Gently running his hands over your tummy and up your chest, he noticed how you shivered and your breath hitched under his fingertips.

Then he looked up at your face, how you were biting your lips and red you were in the face. Your gorgeous [c] eyes looking up at him, waiting for him to bite you, to take your blood, to mark your whole body as his-

‘Oh fuck. This is bad’

When the vampire first met you, he only became acquainted with you just to quench his thirst and hunger but over time he had gotten attached to you as more than just bloodbank. Not only were you understanding, you were also kind, thoughtful, hard-working, intelligent and down-right intoxicating. Then he remembered the dream he had a few nights ago. In that dream he had you just like this. You on your back, beneath him but the difference was that you two seemed more… intimate than whatever you two have going on now. But right now, it wasn’t a dream.

It was real.

You were underneath him, shivering from his cold fingers, red faced, looking up at him with those eyes he fell for. Gulping, Scaramouche leaned down to your neck but instead of what he always does, he started placing soft kisses up your throat and to your chin. He noted how you flinched, shutting your eyes and how your free hand came up to his shoulder not being able to decide if you should push him away or not.

‘Fuck. If you keep being so intoxicating like this how am I suppose to give up on you?’ Scaramouche thought while leaving gentle kisses around your neck and shoulders, sometimes leaving hickeys or gnawing at your skin just to feel you flinch or squirm.

‘Do you have any idea how much I wanted this? How much I wanted you beneath me like this? Flinching and squirming, wiggling and moaning as I make you mine? I wanted it so much I even fucking dreamt about it. I want you. I want you so badly [Name], can’t you see?’ kissing up to your neck once more he finally bit down on the same spot he always bites, sinking his fangs deeper and more harshly just so he can hear you bite back your pained groans and squirm in his hold.

‘I want you. I want you [Name]. I’m a monster that drains someone’s life away and you’re someone that saves others. We’re opposites and yet there’s a saying that goes opposites attract. I know I shouldn’t but I want that to be true so badly’ after gulping down some he retracted his fangs, looking down at you just to see you staring back at him with your soft smile and kind eyes.This snapped something in him as he bit down on the other side of your neck harshly, almost as if wanting to completely tear off your neck. The way his mood changed caused you to jolt and yelp loudly in pain.

‘Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop it. Stop looking at me like that. Stop smiling at me. Stop treating me like a human being or else… I will fall more deeper and I won’t be able to let you go’ Scaramouche stopped and moved away from you, panting and licking his mouth. Both sides of your neck were covered in blood, old and new bite marks littering it while you were panting, trying to recover from his last merciless attack. The sight made him tremble. He wanted you. He needed you. But you weren’t meant for him. He was a monster, you were a medic. He was a killer and you were a savior. Maybe it’ll be best if he just leave you behind and run far away-

A gentle hand on his cheek snapped him out from his spiraling dark thoughts. Looking at you, you were still wearing the same kind expression.

‘You being mine could never happen. But i’ll cherish every moment I share with you as long as you’d let me’ leaning in Scaramouche started cleaning your wounds then softly kissing and leaving hickeys on your upper body.

‘I could never have you’ another kiss ‘but I can’t help but yearn for you’ another bite ‘so i’ll stay here. Right by your side as long as you’d allow me to’

‘I love you. But i’ll kill this feeling over and over again if it means you will be safe and happy’

[sirensplayhouse]

hi! i entered the void this morning and i basically just wanted to send this here since i know a lot of people struggle. ive always been a person who’s been confident in myself and especially in the law of assumption since i am the one who chooses what works for me. i never interact with the communities or over consume the information that’s being put out because at the end of the day, the law literally speaks on being the operant power. if you assume, and persist in that assumption then it is true. stop asking or seeking for help when you are the only person who can help yourself. you can intake all of this information, but still not apply yourself if you are NOT willing to make an inner change. put your foot down, and give yourself structure. nobody else can do it for you. it is up to you to stop overcomplicating something so simple. do whatever feels comfortable and resonates with you. we all believe in the law of assumption yet have so many different views and perspectives which is perfectly fine. just because someone said something else that contradicted your belief shouldn’t change your belief at all. you are god, you are the creator, and anything is possible. go apply that knowledge instead of letting it marinate and you’ll see how easy it really is.

i’m rarely on social media (well mostly social media communities that deal with LOA because i just don’t have the time to interact with all the negativity that goes on, my energy is too good for all that.) but i’d love to be '🪦' anon if it’s not taken just incase there’s any questions.

LOOK AT YOU DROPPING GEMS ALREADY😮‍💨anyways y’all need to read this over and over until it’s stuck👍🏾

but congratulations on tapping into the void love <3, anddddd OFC YOU CAN HONESTLY WHAT TYPA QUESTION IS THAT✋🏾🙄welcome to the family love🫶🏾happy to have you 🕺🏾!

[kkcauseway]

Life- Joel's POV

Pairing: Joel Miller & f!reader Summary: Life from Joel's perspective. Content/warnings: TW-depictions of childbirth/sickness, lots of family fluff, like so fucking much...Joel Miller is just the most doting husband and father in the entire world! Protective!Joel, no use of Y/N, no outbreak. Characters: Joel Miller, Sarah Miller, Ellie Williams, Tommy Miller, Maria Miller & You Author note: I’m so in love with this I can’t 🥲 hope you enjoy x

Read Life here I Main Masterlist

Joel’s day starts off pretty good, for once they get the right size for the headers and so work can be done instantly rather than the usual delays they always seem to encounter when they start a new job.

You weren’t awake when Joel got up for work this morning as you’d spent most of the night tossing and turning, and so when you finally do wake it's not too long before you call him. His phone rings and your name pops up on his screen, so he takes his gloves off and removes himself from the noise.

“Hey Baby, you okay how’d you sleep?”

‘I’ve been sick again, like a lot, I actually feel really bad this morning, but I did sleep for a few hours, I think… hope.’

“Oh Baby…” He sighs “you’ve definitely slept at least for a little cus you were dead to the world when I woke up. Do y’need me to come home?”

‘No no I’ll be okay, I just need to get some food and chill which is exactly what I’m gonna do.’

“Y’Sure you don’t need me, cus fuck work I’ll come?” he laughs.

‘Joel it’s fine, Sarah's still asleep, when she gets up, I’ll tell her we are having a movie day and she can pick, she’ll be happy. I know we don’t usually let her sleep in this late but it’s just easier like this. And I couldn’t face taking her to school today I know that’s bad but-’

“Y’aint gotta explain yourself to me Baby, I know you’re doing what’s best for you. N'that girls smart enough, she can miss a day.” He interrupts.

‘Yeah, she’s our smart girl’ sniff ‘How’s work today?’ you end it with a yawn.

“Pretty good actually, they actually gave us the RIGHT size for the headers! So, we’ve been able to crack on!”

‘WOW! That’s a once in a blue moon occurrence. Today is obviously goin' to be a good day!’ you laugh.

“Forever the optimist aren’t you Baby. I hope you’re right!”

‘Ugh hold that thought, I’m definitely gonna to be sick again, I’ll speak to you later, kay?’

“Baby I hate you bein' like this, but okay y'look after yourself, and let me know if you need me to come home. I love you”.

When he stops for lunch him and Tommy go to a local café and he texts you to check up on you, the baby had you up basically all of last night and with this bout of sickness hitting you on top, he knows you’re miserable even if you try to stay positive.

“Better check in with the Mrs” He utters to Tommy as he gets his phone out of his pocket.

“Sure, I’ll get these.” Tommy responds with a smile, walking to the counter whilst Joel sits down on a nearby table.

How you feelin Darlin?

He texts you and puts his phone back on the table as Tommy walks over with two BLT’S.

“How’s she doin?” Tommy asks taking a bite of his sandwich as he nods towards the phone.

“Mmm she’s not sleeping too good now, think she’s just ready for the baby to be here. I quite frankly am shitting myself at the prospect. And she’s been throwing up this morning apparently, which is her worst fear. She hates bein' sick especially when I’m not there”.

“Sounds like she’s having a time of it, but she’s strong, plus, the dads are supposed to shit themselves.” Tommy takes another bite. “Dads are supposed to be useless” he says mouth full, before swallowing “but y’all have done this once before so you know what to expect.”

“Yeah, I guess that’s true.” he sighs.

His phone pings then, lighting up with your reply:

Not too bad, havin a few pains, nothing like labour though don’t worry, just these fucking Braxton hicks givin me a run for my money on top of all the rest. Me and Sarah are watching Cinderella so just chilling.

Awh my girls, and as long as you’re okay Baby?

He looks to Tommy again. “She says she’s been having pains, but not labour pains. Shit Tommy my heart just at that feels like it’s gonna beat out my fuckin’ chest.” he chuckles nervously.

“Ahhh, you’ve got this big brother, no need for you t'shit yourself.”

He takes a big breath then. Looking down at your reply.

I’m okay, feeling no more tired or shitty than I have been. x

I’ll try my best to be home on time Baby. You just keep relaxing today, don’t let me find out you’ve been on your feet doing chores!

Yes sir, I promise. Love you. x

Love you too Darlin, see you tonight x

Joel gets home from work at 5pm, which is the first time in a long time he’s managed to keep good time. He actually makes it home before dinner is even cooking. As he walks in the door Sarah runs to him.

“Hi Daddy!”

“Hey Babygirl, y’had a good day?”

“Yeah, it was sooo fun, Mama said I didn’t have to go to school, and I made you both a picture, she put it up in the kitchen!” she says bouncing on her feet.

“Did she now? Well, I’m gonna have to go and check that out now aren’t I! Where’s your Mom at?”

“She’s sleeping; she told me to tell you to wake her up when you got home” she points to the living room.

“Okay thankyou Baby, now why don’t you go run and get that picture from the kitchen and I’ll go check on your Mama?”

“Okay!” and then she runs into the kitchen.

Joel make his way to find you then, and there you are, so at peace wrapped in a blanket asleep. He sits next to you and just watches. God, he loves you so much. And boy is he thankful that you’ve finally managed to get some rest. It makes him smile.

Sarah runs back towards him then, with the picture in tow. “Look daddy!” she shouts as she jumps onto his lap shoving the picture in his face.

“Shhh baby, we’re gonna let Mama sleep some more, so we gotta be quiet okay, but lemme see” he takes it from her with one hand as the other cuddles round her waist.

“It’s you and Mama and me and the new baby!” she whispers as she points to the different people in the picture.

“Oh yeah wow! So, this is our first family portrait as a family of four huh? It’s beautiful I love it!” he kisses the top of her head.

“Thank you, Daddy, it made Mama sad when I showed her and then I felt sad, because she was sad!” she pouts.

“Oh, Babygirl I’m sure she wasn’t sad, I’m sure she was happy, and it just made her a bit emotional.”

“Yeahhh, that’s what she said” she sighs “she said sometimes the baby makes her mind a little crazy.” That makes Joel laugh “So, I spoke to the baby and told them to stop, cus I don’t like it when Mama’s sad”.

He smiles at her then, as he has this picture in his mind of you receiving that drawing from Sarah and how it would’ve made you tear up in an instant. Just like it did him, but your emotions being so all over the place made it almost impossible to hide it, he was able to hide it; thank God. He can also imagine Sarah telling the baby off and it makes him chuckle.

“You’re such a good girl aren’t you. Thank you for looking after Mama for me today” he kisses the top of her head. “Now, how about you and I go and get some Chinese takeout for dinner, because we don’t want her cooking when she’s so tired do we? And we can leave her to sleep for longer in the quiet then?”

“Okay Daddy, I like that plan, I’ll go get my shoes! I’m gonna get my ones with the laces and try and do them myself again, but I’ll need your help daddy if I can’t.”

“Okay Baby” he whispers back to her laughing lightly.

Sarah jumps down from his lap and runs to get her shoes; he finds a piece of paper and writes a note to let you know where they’ve gone, in case you wake before he’s back. Leaving it next to where you’re sleeping. He tucks your blanket even tighter around you, before lightly kissing your head, you hum in your sleep, in response.

-

It’s whilst they’re waiting on the food that his phone pings again.

Baby needs spring rolls and lots of em please x

😂 I figured after last time don’t worry Spring rolls secured x

God I Love you x

-

They’re back within half an hour, Joel walks into the room first and he finds you slowly moving your body as you exhale, a hand on the underside of your belly. Shit.

He puts the food on the coffee table.

“Baby what’s wrong?”

“Just another one of them stupid fake pains, I’m okay don’t worry.”

Joel feels himself getting nervous, thankfully the food helps that feeling to die back down.

At 8pm Joel puts Sarah to bed, as he’s tucking her in and goes to give her a kiss on her head, the very sleepy face replaced with a quizzical look. He can see the cogs whirring in her mind at a sleepy pace.

“Daddy when’s the baby going to come?” she questions following it by a yawn.

He squats next to her bed so he’s eye level as he talks to her “soon Babygirl, any day now.”

“Mm, I had a dream last night the baby was already born and when I woke up and it wasn’t true, I was sad.”

“Soon Baby you won’t need to feel sad about that, when the baby is here, we will have them forever, that’s exciting isn’t it?”

“Yeah! I can’t wait!”

“Now the sooner you go to sleep Babygirl the closer we get to meeting the baby, time goes very fast when you sleep doesn’t it that’s what you always say? So shut those beautiful eyes and before you know it the baby will be born”.

“Okay Daddy, I can't wait! Night night.”

“Night Babygirl, I love you” he says as he stands, bending to kiss her head.

“Love you too Daddy”.

Joel makes his way downstairs then; you’re sat waiting for him.

“She wasn’t too sad I didn’t come up to say goodnight, was she? I just can’t handle the stairs right now; my body is so tired.” You whine as you look to him.

“No Baby of course not, I’m sorry you feel so shit” he responds as he comes to sit next to you, rubbing a hand over your thigh.

“Fuckkk” you suddenly utter sucking in a breath.

“Another one already, really?” he jumps forward a little.

You just nod as you let out a little moan.

Fuck. -and this isn’t even the real thing yet, he’s gonna be a mess.

This continues for the whole night in the most random of sequence. Until he feels enough is enough “Baby I know we are timin’ these as best we can, but they’re all over the place, I think we should just stop with this now and try to relax you? It’s obviously not labour.”

“Yeah, I’m just stressing myself out even more. They aren’t coming, I'd know if they were, although” you look down to your stomach prodding at it as you add “I do not appreciate this, thank you very much.” You sigh whilst he laughs at you telling off your unborn child. You then add “let’s just put something on tv and relax. God my body is so tired though, I hope it’s not long till it’s over.”

“I know Darlin’, they’ll be here soon, and then you can relax. Not long Baby” he cuddles you close.

You settle back down then trying your best to get comfortable.

A sudden wince within the quiet of the room as the tv plays softly makes Joel jump. He looks to find you rubbing just under your ribs.

“You having another one Baby?”

“No, just kicking my ribs, bloody rascal… here” you take Joel’s hand positioning it where you had just felt the foot? Of course, nothing happens, typical. The baby will kick and kick but when there’s an audience they stop. Thankfully all it takes is you pushing his fingers into the spot for the baby to respond.

Joel feels his heart melt, and he becomes overwhelmed with emotion. He’s so excited to be a dad once more even if he is petrified. “My perfect baby” he whispers as he strokes the spot.

About half eleven, your head is droopy on Joel’s shoulder, you feel super tired, and you think it best to take advantage of the moment, going up to bed now in hope that when your head hits the pillow, you’ll be able to sleep. Joel is close behind, watching as you carefully get yourself comfortable in the bed. He can see how much you’re aching, how difficult it is for you to move at all, but you still do it so gracefully, so beautifully. You’re just this ultimate beauty that he adores.

“Think I’m gonna have a bath in the morning if I still feel like this, maybe that will help?” it’s more of a question than a statement.

“Sounds like a good idea Baby, now you go try and sleep I’m just gonna use the bathroom then I’ll snuggle up next to you.”

“Okay, night Cowboy”

“Night beautiful, I love you” he bends to kiss your lips.

“Love you too.”

Joel stops off at the nearby storage cupboard before entering the bathroom, getting out one of the fluffy towels he knows you love so much. He places it onto the toilet seat lid ready for your morning bath if you decide on it. Then he makes his way back to you, the room is dark, he listens to your breathing for a second and by some miracle, you are in fact asleep.

He climbs in carefully next to you. “Sleep well baby” he whispers to you before placing a soft kiss to your shoulder as he snuggles up to your back, pulling you closer to him. He drifts off within seconds so happy and warm snuggled up to you.

🩷

He’s awoken in the middle of the night to a shout; he’s unable to make out what's said but it definitely gets his attention. It's only when he hears it again ‘Joeeel!’ and it’s clear it’s your voice that he lifts his body up and looks to his side, your side of the bed is empty and cold to the touch, you’ve been gone a while. He then jumps up shouting ‘I’m coming baby!’

He shoves the bathroom door open and is met with you, red faced on your knees in the bath, gripping the side so hard your knuckles are white; gritting your teeth as you scream your way through what is an obvious actual contraction.

Fuck

He looks to you and you look back at him. Fuck you look like you’re in so much pain and he hates it. “Joel” you whisper to him. His heart is fucking racing and he runs over to you then, not a care in the world that he’s naked. “It’s okay shhhh, Baby breathe” Joel strokes at your lower back. His voice laced with fear and worry even through he’s trying so hard to mask it.

When you manage to catch your breath back you look to him in fear “Fuck Joel, that one hurt” you groan as you lower yourself back onto your heels in the tub. Joel moves with you coming to squat besides the bath as he faces you.

“It’s okay, you’re doing amazing Baby” he kisses your forehead before asking the question he’s dreading but already knows the answer to, “is it time?”.  He rubs your arms as he looks into your eyes.

“I- Yeah, I’m pretty sure it is”. You whine as a tear runs down your cheek.

Fuck why didn’t you wake him earlier is all he can think. You chose to suffer for this long alone, but he won’t dwell on it, you look broken, your eyes full of tears. He wipes them from your eyes like he’s done so many times before, and he notices that gleam he fell in love with reappear in them, slightly. God you’re gorgeous. He stays in that thought till you have the audacity to apologise for waking him. You act like you’ve committed a crime “don’t you dare say sorry, y'aint got nothing to be sorry for.”

He can see you getting more and more uncomfortable as time goes on and so he’s straight to your aid when you ask for help getting out. He grabs the fluffy towel from behind him and wraps you up in it to keep you warm as he holds you tight in his arms. He wants to keep you as calm as possible, and God does he love you, he hates seeing you like this . You snuggle into his chest; feeling as you physically relax.

“Y’know I knew second babies were faster, but this seems super-fast” it’s muffled as you say it into his chest. He hums in response, only allowing himself to internally panic. You look up at him then “Can we go back into the bedroom? I wanna go sit on the bed; my back’s killing”.

He kisses the top of your head then “Course Baby, come on let’s get you comfy.”

He walks you into the bedroom and helps you sit on the bed. He then proceeds to help you to dry off and put on an oversized lounge set. He notices your bare feet; he can imagine you’re already feeling uncomfortable with them exposed like usual. So, he gets up, grabs some pink fluffy socks out of the drawer and puts them on your feet; knowing how cold your toes get. You like to torture him with them at night, pressing them against his warm legs.

“Thank you for always being so good to me Cowboy”. You smile at him.

Cowboy, you know how much he hates you calling him that: he’ll let it slide all things considered. Fuck he loves you so much. He takes your free hand in between his; “Baby I love you so much, and the fact that I have this amazing life and I share it with you, and you’ve given me Sarah, now this baby too, I am so so grateful to you...”

He eventually goes and grabs some clothes for himself. He hears as you struggle through another pain whilst he’s preoccupied. Fuck this is really happening. It makes him get dressed all the faster.

When he’s finally dressed, he’s absolutely petrified, his heart is racing to the point it’s almost painful and he can’t help but break out in a sweat, but he tries his best to keep it all to himself. He feels like a first-time parent all over again. Completely clueless and out of control. Remembering how Sarah’s birth was quite traumatic, and that you were in a lot of pain doesn’t help the situation. You were constantly crying out for him, and he’s never felt as awful as he did when he couldn’t take the pain away from you. Especially considering he strives through life making sure you’re happy and healthy, this is the only situation ever, that he’s felt helpless in, and it scares him that he’s going to witness it once more. He’s pacing back and forth till he can’t physically stand it anymore. He checks all the bags are packed ready and places them ready to go by the front door, with everything present and correct he then calls Tommy.

The phone begins ringing and with every ring Joel feels worse and worse, he hates thinking that he’s waking them up. Although this was the plan, if it happened no matter when no matter where. He calls Tommy and lets him know. They will then come and stay as long as is needed with Sarah.

After five rings Tommy finally picks up.

“Hello” he answers with a sleepy groan.

‘Tommy, hey bud sorry it’s late, we need you to come over’-

“Oh, shit so she was in labour?” he interrupts, his voice suddenly perking up and he can hear how he shoots up in bed.

-‘yeah, it’s time’-

“Oh my god labour!” Joel can hear Maria shout in the background before Tommy adds “If you can’t tell, Maria’s real excited, aren’t you sugar?”

“Hell yeah!” it’s distant again and she sounds out of breath like she’s running around the bedroom getting ready already.

Joel laughs.

“I’m excited too big brother” Tommy eventually adds. “Give us 20 minutes and we'll be there. Maria’s already dressed haha. Now you go look after your girl."

-‘Okay perfect I’ll let her know, see you soon, thanks Tommy.’

He puts his phone back in his pocket before making his way back over to you on the bed, sitting at you side. “He says they’ll be twenty minutes max, should’ve heard the squeal Maria let out.”

“Anyone would think it’s her baby! But amazing thank you”. God how he admires your ability to still be funny at any given moment. He loves how you find the positives in everything.

When the decision is made to wake Sarah to let her know, it freaks him out even more, it’s getting so real now. “You know what; I still can’t get over that we are doing this again” he smiles before kissing your forehead. “I love you Baby”. It’s about the fiftieth time he’s told you tonight, but God does he mean it. He’s never ever loved you more.

🩷

Joel helps you to waddle across the hall to Sarah’s door, his hand resting softly on your lower back. He only leaves you then, in order to knock, before slowly pushing it open. Sarah is fast asleep, her nightlight highlighting her gorgeous features. She begins to rouse as he steps a foot into the room. “Daddy?” she rouses confused, he quickly looks back to you, just as another contraction washes over you. He goes to stop but you nod for Joel to continue in, so he turns back to focus on his daughter.

“Hey Baby Girl!” it’s an excited whisper.

Sarah looks to the window and notices it’s still dark. Rubbing her eyes, she looks back to him. “Daddy, it’s not morning.”

“No Baby, I know, listen, me and Mama have something to tell you” he takes a seat on her bed, still unable to get over the fact she’s going to be a big sister.

She yawns as she sits up straighter in her bed, intrigued. “Where is Mama, was she shouting?” the concern evident in her voice which melts his heart.

He strokes her head “She will be in, in a minute Baby. Now listen, your new little brother or sister wants to say hello, so we need to go to the hospital, Uncle Tommy and Aunt Maria are on the way to come and stay with you, whilst we’re gone okay.”

“The baby’s comin’?” a smile grows on her face.

“Yeah Babygirl, the baby’s comin’.”

“Yay, okay!” it’s an excited squeal, one that reiterates the adoration and love she has for her unborn sibling already.

He strokes her hair as he stares at her, never having loved someone as much as he loves her.

“Mama!” she bounces in her place on the bed eyes lighting up as she looks to the space behind him.

“Hi my pretty girl!” he hears you reply behind him, sounding tired.

He’s quick to turn to look at you asking, “You okay?”

“Fine, honestly” you smile in response.

He nods.

“Can you come and sit with me Mama?” Sarah taps the place on her bed next to her as she shuffles over slightly.

He moves to be sat near to Sarah’s feet, giving you and Sarah more room to stretch out. He sits and stares at his two favourite girl as they converse with one another. When their conversation ends and they’re cuddling, Joel continuously smiling at you, he then taps Sarah foot “Hey Sarah, last time to put your bet in, what’s it going to be a boy or a girl?”

“It’s a sister I know it, she told me” certainty on her tongue.

“Oh yeah, and when did ‘she’ apparently tell you this?” you reply making Joel chuckle.

“When me and her were talking one day, you know we like to talk”.

“Well, we will soon see, me and Daddy think it’s a boy” he chuckles as you boop her nose.

“But I don’t want a - Oh- Mama? Are you okay?”

He watches as your body tenses, and you begin to close in on yourself. Squeezing your eyes shut as you begin to breathe your way through it.

“Mama’s okay Baby” he’s quick to reassure when he notices the fear within her eyes. All the while he strokes a hand up and down your leg “This is just your baby brother or sister trying to get out”. Smiling at her for reassurance, she seems to relax slightly then, he then adds looking back to you “Breathe Mama”.

“Oh” Sarah moves slightly in your arms, opting to rub some hair out of your face and behind your ear. Joel can’t believe what he’s seeing. Sarah then proceeds to kiss your check once she has done it. Adding her own “Breathe Mama.”

Joel watches, his heart pounding with adoration and pride as you and Sarah show each other love. With the contraction over, Sarah moves to bring her mouth to your belly. She lifts up your top to expose it and whispers against the skin; “Don’t hurt Mama please baby sister” she kisses your tummy and adds “I can’t wait to meet you.” He tears up at that, instantly, but tries to hold it back because if caring Sarah decides to start hugging him too that will be it. The tears would start flowing and he wouldn’t be able to stop them.

Eventually there is a distant knock drawing all three of your attention’s. Joel is quick to stand up and is out of the room in the same breath. He races down the stairs to open the front door letting an excited Maria and Tommy in.

“How is she?” Maria questions excitement laced in her voice.

“Pains are gettin’ worse, but she’s okay.”

“Good” Maria smiles as she kicks off her shoes.

“And how’re you doin’ big brother?” Tommy looks to his brother.

“Shittin’ myself” he laughs letting out a big breath.

“Ahh you’ve got this” he reassures tapping a hand onto his shoulder.

“Hope you’re right” he laughs.

“Where are they?”

“They’re in Sarah’s room.”

He then proceeds to lead Tommy and Maria up.

“Hey stinker!” Tommy shouts to his niece as they enter the room.

“Hey Uncle Tommy, hi Maria!”

Joel looks to you in an instant, noticing that you’re crying and is straight to your side “You, okay?” he then reaches to Sarah’s bedside table to get you a tissue.

“I’m fine, I promise, Sarah was being Sarah, and now I’m crying. You know how it goes” you laugh wetly.

“Oh, I do. Jesus, you scared me for a second” he turns to Sarah then, stroking her cheek “You’re the best aren’t you Babygirl” she giggles in response.

He then looks back to you “Right Baby, you ready to go?”

“Yeah” you smile and take a deep breath “let’s go have a baby!”

Fuck- another baby.

Joel holds out both his hands to you and he helps you to swing your legs back over the side of the bed. He then helps to pull you up with a groan. You take a second to catch your bearings, now you are back on your feet. Joel helps to walk you slightly to the middle of the room, so Tommy and Maria are able to position themselves on the bed by Sarah.

Maria sits herself next to Sarah and he can’t help but smile. Just as he notices you do. It’s so lovely to know she’s in amazing hands whilst you’ll be gone.

He’s holding your hand as you begin your usual routine which makes him laugh. Telling Sarah to be good, do as she’s told, all that jazz. He’s so used to the routine that he isn’t fully paying attention but when he hears “ugh” his full attention is in that moment, watching as you place your free hand under your stomach. Joel grabs hold of you tighter then- it’s when you shout “f-fuck!” that he gets scared. When in labour with Sarah, you only started swearing when it got bad. He feels as you grip onto his arm like it’s a lifeline and move back to face him. He shushes you as he offers you his other arm too, so you can hold onto him properly and sway. You push your forehead into his shoulder. You can’t help but be vocal this time, in too much pain to be able to control the moans that come out of your mouth. “You got this Baby” Joel whispers into your hair. His heart pounding, and he’s kicking himself that he can’t really help. He holds you as long as is necessary.

You and Joel look into each other’s eyes when the pain is gone, it makes him even more nervous when he can see you’re already beginning to feel deflated. Yet he also can’t help but smile at the fact you swore in front of Sarah. It’s this smile that causes you to remember what you had just said. You stand up tall again and turn back to look at Sarah. “Mama is sorry for saying that Baby, I didn’t mean it, be good for Tommy and Maria, listen to what they say okay? I love you.”

As Joel helps you to begin walking out of the bedroom Joel turns to look back at the three of them; “Tommy, I’ll be in touch, thank you again for havin’ her. See you soon Babygirl, be good, love you”!

“Love you too Daddy, make sure to look after Mama”.

“I will, I promise!” he laughs.

Tommy and Maria both shout good luck and you make your way downstairs, grabbing the hospital bags that you left by the door, and then you’re on your way.

🩷🩵🩷

After what felt like an eternity in the room alone. Joel feeling terrorised as he watches you suffer through the pains. The hospital room door opens, he raises his head on the click of the door.

“Hi, I’m Sally your midwife, how are we both doing?”

Joel nods “good” in reply as you add “Good thanks, but definitely progressing much faster than I expected.”

“Well, there’s never really been a time scale for these thing, your baby must just be super eager to make an appearance! Are you okay if I check you, just to see how far along you are?”

Joel moves to support you through the examination knowing that its going to be awful but stops as you begin crying out in pain again. Moving instead to rub your lower back, ‘counterpressure’ he remembers the midwife at Sarah’s birth called it. He doesn’t remember your cries being this bad last time. It makes him angry that he can’t stop it. Once the pain ends, he helps you to shift in the bed, so you’re able to get into a suitable position for the examination. Knowing it’s going to be uncomfortable; he remembers from last time; he’s already offered you his hand.

He stands impatiently from beside you looking as the midwifes head disappears below the blanket. He feels you grip his hand tighter once the midwife begins the exam. Eventually her head pops back up.

“Okay, six centimetres, coming right along, well done! Won’t be too much longer now hopefully” she snaps her gloves off.

“Oh, thank goodness” you groan.

“Now am I right in thinking it’s in your birth plan to have a water birth, if we have a room with a pool free? Is that still what you want?”

“I would love that! I really regret not having a water birth with Sarah.”

“Okay, no problem, I’ll get onto the case and find out if we have a room, I’ll be back with the verdict asap, in the meantime, I’ll be right outside if you need me, okay? That red button to your right, press it if you need me, I’ll come running, literally, especially if your water breaks okay, shout me!”

“Will do, thank you, nurse” he responds.

“She’s nice” you murmur as you turn to him and smile.

“Yeah, I like her” Joel agrees. She seems like a caring midwife of which he’s glad, the midwife at Sarah’s birth just kept getting mad at you and he’s really hoping that won’t happen again. He got really angry with her, but didn’t act on it as he needed to be there to support you. He was sure to put in a hefty complaint afterwards though. Eventually you snap him out of his thoughts.

“Hey not too much longer Baby and we will be a family of four, how crazy is that!”

“I can’t wait” and he really can’t, just the idea alone of his family expanding makes his heart feel so full. “D’you think Sarah is right about it being a girl?”

“Honestly, I don’t know. I know she really wants a sister, so I would love to give her one. But either way she will be the best big sister, I know that much.”

You’re right of course, she’s such a special little girl. “Oh, she most definitely will, I have to agree with you there Darlin'.”

Joel moves his hand out of the grasp of yours and begins to caress your belly. Making gentle work of it, as he knows just about any pressure on it right now is painful. You let out a pleasurable moan in response. His palms tickling your belly in a really relaxing way. His baby kicking in response every so often. And it seriously makes him tear up. He’s going to be meeting his baby soon.

“God, I really hope I can have a water birth.”

“I’m prayin’ for you Baby” he replies leaning down to kiss your stomach.

🩷🩵🩷

Two hours later, again, your breathing begins to speed up as another pain takes over you whilst you lie on your side in the hospital bed. You grab onto Joel’s arm as you moan with the pain. You lean into him, curling your body tight. He uses the arm you don’t have a hold of, to rub up and down your back. She’s getting bad is all he can think. Struggling so much to keep your composure. He can't believe it’s dragged out this long. Time is just going on and on and this baby seems no closer to coming.

“You got this Baby, I’m so proud of you” he reassures softly.

“Ugh, it really hurts” your voice breaks and you can’t help the tears that begin to fall. “I can’t do it anymore”.

Shit “You can Baby, you can. You’ve got this, you’ve done it all before with Sarah. Just think of how amazing life is now because you brought her safely into the world. You did that! Endured all that pain to bring her into the world, and now you’re going to do the same again with this baby. We are all so lucky to have you. You’re so strong.” He kisses your soaked forehead. Fuck he hates that he can’t do more.

When the pain eventually subsides, you have the ability to sit up straighter. Joel moves out of your way so you’re able to sort yourself out, however you wish to. Rather than sitting against the pillows, you bring your legs over the side of the bed, so you can sit directly facing Joel. You hold your hands out on either side of the bed to help you stabilise.

He stares at how small you look, dropping to kneel in front of you, allowing you to put your arms around his neck, in an effort to hold him closer. He’s your safe space. You pull each other into an embrace, and you rest your head on his shoulder as you cry.

“Shhh Baby, you’re okay, you got this” he kisses you softly.

You don’t say anything, you just continue to hug him as you shake and cry. Joel brushes his hands up and down your back. After giving you a moment:

“Hey Darlin', look at me” he whispers to you as you stay snuggled into his neck. You don’t move, just shake your head no into his shoulder. “Baby” he pulls away a little “please, look at me” this time it’s much sterner, but still drowned in concern.

You slowly lift your head up; your hair falls in front of your face as you do so. Your face red and shiny with tears. You looks exhausted and defeated. Joel brushes the hair behind your ears and smiles at you. He then wipes your wet cheeks to free them of your tears. “Hi” he smiles “there’s my girl, see you’re so strong. So much stronger than I could ever be. I promise you, you’ve got this”.

“I don’t” you whimper.

“Baby” he laughs “you do! Look at you, you’re literally doing it as we speak!”

“I don’t feel strong”.

“But you are, come on take a deep breath. It’s all gonna be worth it”.

You take a deep breath in before exhaling, keeping eye contact with Joel as you do. You bring a hand to your lower back with a wince.

“Can you help me up please? I wana walk for a little?”

“Course Baby, whatever you need”.

He takes hold of both of your hands and pulls as you begin to lift yourself off the hospital bed with a groan. You then proceed to pace; breathing deeply as you rub your belly. Joel watches from the side lines chewing on one of his nails. What the fuck can he do to help you? He thinks and thinks till a great idea comes into his head.

He looks at you as you pace “You up for some music? We can dance for a bit, will that help?”.

He stops you in your tracs and you look up at him. One hand still holding your belly. “Aww Joel, you cutie you still wana dance with me? Even when I look like this.”

“I always wana dance with you Darlin'." They’re the truest words he’s ever spoke.

He makes quick work of grabbing his phone and puts on a random playlist of slower songs. He takes you into his arms and cuddles you close swaying with you. He loves feeling you so close and calm. Content to be in his arms. You stop with each contraction that hits you, and he rubs your lower back. He kisses the top of your head every so often. You continue to do this for a while, seemingly more relaxed until:

“Shit, wait Joel stop, I feel weird”.

He immediately stops swaying with you but continues to hold you. His heart suddenly pounding once more.

“What d’you mean?”

“I- I, it feels weird down there, I don’t know.” He watches as you grab the underneath of your stomach.

“What can I do?” he can’t help the fear evident in his eyes.

You begin to stand straighter in his arms. “I- I just need to move, just need t-"

You’re interrupted by a gush of water, falling from between your legs. Soaking your bare feet, and Joels boots.

Shit.

He blanks out for a second, staring into empty space, unable to do anything, but is brought back when you keel over with another pain. Placing your palms onto the hospital bed as you sway and moan.

Joel rushes to push the red button, then races right back to your side to help you through it. The nurse is in the room within a couple of seconds.

“Hey, I was just on my way back to you guys, what’s going on?”

Joel notices you’re still getting over your pain, and that he is going to need to respond on your behalf.

“Erm, her waters went”.

“Oh goodie! Progressing as we should and to top it off, we have a room free. We will take you there when you’re ready Sweetie” she rubs your shoulder in concern.

🩷🩵🩷

The short walk to the delivery suite brings Joel out in a sweat. He’s walking behind you in the wheelchair, being pushed by Sally, carrying the bags. Fuck it's really happening. When you enter the suite, he gulps. This is where it’s going to happen, when he next leaves this room, he’s going to be the dad of two. Completely responsible for two lives. Sally begins filling the pool at once. He helps you to stand out of the wheelchair and fishes out your bikini top from the bag. He helps you to put it on and ties your hair off your shoulders. Finally helping you to climb into the water once it's ready. Sally instantly handing you the gas and air.

Joel has a newfound energy now. Coaxing you exceptionally through the pains you have and the next hour of contracting in the water, comes and goes in what feels like five minutes. Now, you’re sat leaning against the side of the tub, a flannel over your forehead as Joel is rubbing your shoulders. Your body so tense and achy. He feels your shoulders tense telling him another pain is starting. This pain is excruciating. There’s something much more primal about this scream that Joel notices instantly. He watches as you sit up taller in the pool, pulling a face as you try to move to get more comfortable, which is just impossible.

He moves into your view “You okay Baby?” alarm bells instantly ringing when he sees the distress on your face.

“There’s so much pressure down there I think-  I feel like- like I need to push.” You take a second to get a proper feel for what it is you’re feeling “Yeah, I do- I need to push Joel”.

Shit.

He’s quick to jump up, pressing the red button and it takes all of ten seconds for Sally to return.

“How we doing?” she asks genuinely, but it’s obvious she knows the answer she’s about to get.

“I need to push” you say before a pain takes over you that has you almost screaming in pain. You turn in the tub to face Joel and put your arms over his shoulders. He hugs you close. Okay it’s happening, it’s official. He remember the screams; this baby is coming and it’s coming now.

“You’re okay Baby, you’re doing so good” he reassures.

“Okay, when this pain is over, I’m going to check you, whatever you do, do not push, okay?” Sally shouts in a rushed tone.

You nod into Joel’s shoulder in response. And it takes every fibre of your being not to push. You don’t move whilst she examines you, continuing to cuddle into Joel as you try to suppress the urge to push.

“Okay it’s go time angel; baby’s head is right there I can see it.”

“Oh, thank God” it comes out like a cry.

He lets out a massive sigh of relief. “You hear that Baby you can push” he softly whispers.

“You can start pushing as soon as you’re ready angel, how do you want to do this? You happy in the position you’re in or do you want to move?”

“No, I want to stay like this” you say determined but exhausted.

“That’s absolutely fine. Now on the next contraction, I want you to push with everything you’ve got, okay, I’m going to count to ten and I need you to push that whole ten seconds, okay? You’re no quitter, so I don’t want any giving up.”

“Yeah, okay” it’s about all you can manage response wise.

It doesn’t take long till the next contraction happens, they’re basically on top of each other by this point. You bare down as you grip onto Joel, and you give it all you’ve got. He feels as you bare down and squeeze into his body as you ensure all of your energy is being used to push into your bum. You hold your breath squeezing.

“Good!” the midwife shouts “keep going that’s it, 8, 9, 10!”

You stop pushing with a gasp.

Joel gasps too, that was the longest ten seconds of his life.

“You did so good Baby” Joel whispers in your ear. He knows reassurance is key right now. The last thing he wants is for you to start feeling as though you can’t do it.

“Ready to go again?” the midwife asks, and you nod before baring down for another ten. It takes a few more pushes before the head is completely out.

“Okay good the head is out! Well done! Take some deep breaths for me. Just a few more pushes and your beautiful baby will be here!”

“The heads out?” he hears you cry into his shoulder.

“Yes, it’s out!”.

“Can I feel?”

“Yeah, course go for it” the midwife adds. You move out of Joel’s grip slightly, bringing one of your arms back to feel the head between your legs.

He watches as her hand disappears between her legs. Face lighting up before looking him dead in the eye. “Oh, Joel, I can feel them, wow they have a lot of hair”.

“Yeah? Lotta hair, just like Sarah?” he asks. Feeling so much love for this baby already. His new baby has loads of hair just like his gorgeous daughter did. He could cry.

“Oh yeah beautiful full head of hair I can see it” the midwife adds in looking over your body to look to Joel briefly. They smile at each other.

“Good, hey almost there now Baby” he kisses your head as you lean back into him. He couldn’t be any prouder of you if he tried.

The room is filled with pants as you all wait for the next pain. Joel feels as your entire body heaves. He can feel how tired you are becoming; more than glad you’re now at the final stretch.

“Give us a really big push on this next contraction, okay?”

“I can’t” you shake your head into Joel’s shoulder.

“Baby you can, what do you mean you can’t?”

“I can’t do it anymore, I can’t” you cry.

This hurts him. It cuts deep. You’re absolutely deflated. “Baby, you’ve been doing so well and you’re so near the end now”. You don’t reply or give him any indication that your listening, so he quickly adds “hey look at me.”

You lift your head slowly from his neck to look at him.

“You’re so strong you’ve got this, okay? You push, give it everything you’ve got and lets meet this baby of ours, okay?”

“Y-Yeah, okay”

“Good girl” Joel replies kissing your forehead. His smile reappearing once he sees some of your sparkle reappear.

The pain begins to wash over you and you push until you can’t anymore. Joel and Sally coaching you through every second of the push.

“Few more pushes and baby is out” the midwife adds.

“Good you can do this Baby come on!” Joel shouts enthusiastically.

You scream as you bare down gripping onto Joel’s shoulders. It takes three more pushes to get the baby out. The midwife is there to catch and when the baby is finally free from your body you immediately sit back releasing Joel, taking the baby from her.

Oh god, he’s so overwhelmed watching you cry as your new baby is passed to you. He’s in shock.

“It’s a girl!” the midwife announces as she places your screaming daughter in your arms.

“Another girl Joel!” you cry at him, and he comes over to kiss you on the head before placing a hand on the back of his new daughters head.

He’s now the dad to two girls. He has two girls to protect now.

“She’s so beautiful” he finds himself choking back tears.

“Sarah was right” you laugh, “She got the sister she always wanted”.

“Look at all of her hair!” he’s genuinely shocked, he strokes it with his large, calloused fingertips, it’s so much more than Sarah had, and he though that amount was crazy.

“She gets that from her Daddy” you laugh.

You had said the exact same thing to him when Sarah was born, he remembers it clearly. Fuck he loves you he can’t help the tears that begin to fall.

You’re crying, Joel’s crying, the baby is crying. You all just stay like that for a minute.

“Dad do you wana cut the cord?” Sally asks Joel, bringing you both out of your new baby bliss bubble.

“Y- yeah” he replies. His first responsibility to his new daughter. Freeing her. Making her, her own person. An individual. HIS beautiful individual.

He grabs the scissors from Sally watching as you move the baby to be cradled in your arms, he reaches down to cut the clamped cord. The midwife then takes the baby and gives her to a nurse to clean her off whilst you deliver the placenta.

Joel feels useless as the nurses work round him preparing you to go to the postnatal ward. But when you allow him the honour of carrying your daughter up to the new room he jumps at the chance. Walking at a snails pace along the corridor to the lift. Petrified of anything and everything in his surroundings.

🩷🤍🩷

An hour later all three of you are settled in the new room. Joel sits on the chair next to the bed watching your new born daughter sleep against your chest. She makes little purr like noises as she does. He could cry as he rests his palm against her head. She’s so small.

He stares at her for who knows how long. Time non-existent in his new daddy bubble. “What should we call her?” he eventually asks. Knowing you’ll have come to a decision having now seen her face.

You turn your head to the side to look at him briefly, whisper back “I think she looks like an Ellie.”

“Ellie?” he looks to her squished, pouty face then. Studying her as a grin grows and grows on his face. Ellie, HIS ELLIE. “It’s perfect” he leans to kiss her tiny head.

As if she hears herself being talked about, she stirs awake and lets out a little grouchy cry.

“Oh, Baby Ellie, you’re hungry again huh?” you ask her.

You then move, Joel quickly grabs Ellie from you, as it's much easier to undress yourself ready to feed her that way. When your breasts are freed and you’re propped up comfy enough on the cushions, Joel helps to position her at your breast, knowing it still really hurts when you move. Her tiny head fishes around for the nipple; quickly finding it, she latches almost instantly. Joel leaves you both to it then. Retreating back to his chair to admire your amazing body and what it does to keep your daughter alive.

“You’re so special Baby” he murmurs to you quietly, not wanting to disturb a very content and hungry Ellie.

“Joel don’t you’ll make me cry” you reply wetly with a soft laugh.

“I mean it, I don’t think I could love you any more than I do right this second” he smiles at you.

“I love you so much too, I couldn’t have done this without you.”

“That was all on you Baby, nothing to do with me.”

“Joel, shut up, you were there when I needed you, you kept me calm. You’re my hero, now get your ass over here and kiss me because I can’t move” you laugh.

He’s quick to laugh back rising from his chair and coming to sit on the bed next to you. He’s delicate as he touches your cheeks, curling his fingers round the back of your head, he pulls your face towards his connecting your lips. It’s a deep, sensual kiss. Long awaited, much needed. Full of love.

He eventually retreats back to his chair, but not before stopping off at his bag, and getting out his camera. He sits himself back down and turns the camera on, pointing it right at you. You looks gorgeous right now, he needs to keep this memory forever.

“Babe, stoppp I bet I look a mess”.

“You look gorgeous Baby.”

This birth had been much less traumatic than Sarah’s and you were raring to go home. Thankfully you get the all clear to go, Ellie was born six hours ago; she had fed easily and is going to the toilet normally. And so home time it was. Joel dresses Ellie in her going home outfit, you brought a blue and a pink one with you. He makes sure she’s wrapped up incredibly warm as he places her into the car seat. Leaving you with enough time to give Sarah a call like you promised.

The walk to the car feels so long. Him taking every single step extra carefully. You make him stop at the entrance so you can take a photo of him carrying your daughter out in the car seat, just as was done with Sarah.

He's shitting himself for the drive home, and with you and Ellie safe and secure in the back he gives himself an internal pep talk, telling himself to calm the fuck down and then you’re off. Driving into the night. Going home to make your family of four a reality.

🩷

There’s a welcome home sign on the front door, clearly made by Sarah, when you make it back home. Joel quickly rushes out of the car to open your door for you, helping you out of the car. “Do you wana get her or do you want me to?” he questions. “You get her Babe.” You reply to him. He makes his way into the back to get Ellie out whose sleeping soundly. Definitely his daughter. You then walk up to the front door together; Joel quickly unlocks the door moving back to allow you to enter first. He enters behind you with Ellie in tow.

You walk into the living room and Sarah runs straight to you. Jumping up and down in front of you. ‘MAMA!’

Sarah’s voice makes his heart so happy.

“Hi beautiful girl!” you say as you gently hug her. “You wana meet someone special?”

She nods, as she looks behind you, watching as he walks into the room, baby carrier in tow.

“Babygirl, this is Ellie, your baby sister” he announces excitedly.

“Sister? It’s a girl! See I told you!”

“Yeah, you were right baby, now if you go and sit nicely on the sofa, you can hold her if you want?”

“Yes, yes pleaseeee!”

Sarah runs hurriedly over to the sofa and sits nicely kicking her legs. You come to sit next to her and put an arm around her. He delicately places the carrier down onto the floor and bends to carefully unclip Ellie to get her out. Maria and Tommy both coo from the other sofa when her tiny body is lifted out of the seat. Joel wants to cry at the sight of her miniature body scrunching in on itself as he lifts her out. He walks over to Sarah, keeping Ellie in one arm as he uses the other to help Sarah to position her arms in order to hold her new sister correctly. Sarah’s one arm is moved to be propped against a pillow to further help her in supporting her baby sister. Joel carefully places Ellie in her arms, eventually releasing her altogether.

“Hi Ellie, I’m your big sister. She’s so tiny wow” she strokes her cheek gently.

“She is huh?” he adds crouching next to her. “She’s going to get so much bigger though, one day she will be as big as you.” And boy does she look big holding her dot of a sister.

“She’s so beautiful” as if on cue, Ellie opens her eyes then and looks straight up to her big sister in curiosity.

“Look Sarah she recognises her big sister; she remembers your voice from all those times you spoke to her when she was in my tummy. God, you look so big holding her baby girl” you bend her head towards you gently then to kiss her.

Joel reaches into his bag and gets his camera out once more. Needing to capture this moment of his girls forever.

He quickly turns it on “Girls look up, let’s get a picture of the three of you”.

You and Sarah both look up at once, you quickly wipe the now drying tears from your face. He ensures he takes lots and lots of pictures. So completely happy in this moment he never wants it to end.

“Right daddy I think it’s time you got in too, don’t you?” Maria asks from behind him, placing her hand delicately on his shoulder, he quickly passes her the camera and sits the other side of Sarah, you all smile once more at the camera, and Maria also take one of the three of you looking down at Ellie as she makes her tiny little noises.

"Okay now enough you lot, think it's time Uncle Tommy had a cuddle, don't you?" Tommy asks “Cmon shift, stop hogging my niece!” He jokes.

You all laugh then.

This is family, this is love, this is the life you’d spent your whole life dreaming of. And here you are finally living it, and it’s so much better than you could’ve ever, ever imagined.

LIFE I Main Masterlist

[yujeong]

For a fic prompt, I’d love to read something about Pete being sick or hurt and needing care that isn’t related to aftercare post-sex. I’ve found a fair few fics centered on Vegas dealing with being sick and cared for (and Pete basically bullying Vegas into letting him care for Vegas), but haven’t found nearly as many focused on Pete in a non-sexual context. I think that would be interesting and lends itself to your style of writing (at least from what I’ve read of your writing, which is just the VegasPete posted on AO3). I love your work, btw! Thanks for being a fandom author-y’all never get enough credit ❤️

Hello, my dear anon! Thank you so, so much for your kind words and your gorgeous prompt ❤️ Generally, Vegas taking care of Pete is one of my favorite concepts. We got crumbs in the show, crumbs, and I desperately need more of that. Thank you for giving me the incentive to do it myself, though I have dipped my toes into it a little bit before with the things you can(not) change, which had Vegas taking care of Pete emotionally. Btw, I'm very sorry for being late in replying to this, but I had a bit of trouble coming up with an idea for it until I got hit with some very specific feels, and now here I am, with 5 whole ass pages of words that made me decide to turn this concept into a proper fic. Looking forward to posting it in 2025 lmao. Here's a part of it: ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Pete woke up laying on his bed, with no recollection of how he got there. The last thing he remembered was going to the kitchen for some water and the noise coming out of Macau's room. It was probably because of that new game he bought last week that he wanted to play so much. His whining suggested he wasn't very good at it. Pete didn't know what happened after that. He was feeling disoriented, floaty. His head was throbbing. There was bile stuck at the back of his throat, which he couldn't swallow. His mouth was dry. His body was heavy, restricting his movements. He tried opening his eyes, but he got dizzy by the light coming in from outside. He closed them again. "Why didn't you tell me you were sick?" Fuck. When did Vegas come back? Where was Macau? Pete took in a shallow breath, trying to quiet down his heartbeat. He didn't open his eyes. Vegas sounded angry. He had to calm him down, somehow. "Vegas..." "Macau called me in a panic, because he found you unconscious in the kitchen. He thought you died. I did too, when I saw you."

Vegas was holding back tears, Pete could tell; there was a certain way his voice hitched when he spoke like that, vulnerability leaking from his tongue. He sounded small, too, like when he used to do comparisons that led him nowhere. Pete didn't like it when Vegas was talking like that. The fact that he reverted to that state because of him made it even worse. "I'm sorry." "Don't-" He didn't conclude what he was going to say. Pete could hear sniffing, but nothing else. Not looking at Vegas' face was killing him. He opened his eyes with extreme difficulty and found Vegas staring at him, with red smeared across the edges of his own eyes and sweat gathered on his forehead. He was too far away. He wasn't touching him. "Vegas," Pete said, lifting his arm in Vegas' direction, despite how much he couldn't. Vegas widened his eyes and dropped his gaze. He held back a sob. He didn't take Pete's hand. "You look the same as back then." Pete let his arm fall on the bed, stunned by Vegas' words. How could he be so stupid? He completely forgot. He didn't know why. Maybe because everything that had happened at the safehouse had always seemed like a weird dream to him, one that he never really woke up from. Pete didn't have any words of comfort to give. His stomach started acting funny. He hoped it wouldn't lead to vomiting. He hadn't done that since his adolescent days, which had been filled with boxing and violence. "It's not your fault I'm sick," was all he could offer in the end. "I should have been here, taking care of you-" "You had an important meeting with Porsche," Pete reminded him. "Fuck Porsche." He had thought about it once. How it would feel to have sex with Porsche. Pete imagined it'd be simple. Uncomplicated. Fun, even. Now, it sounded painful, more so than all the things Vegas did to him. Perhaps Vegas was right getting concerned about Pete's health after all. He felt a hand touching his forehead. It was cold and sweaty. Pete wished it could get glued there. "Shit, your fever is high. Have you eaten anything?" "No." He felt Vegas suck in a breath, before he heard it. "I'm cooking you something to eat." He tried to get up, but Pete caught him before he could escape. A low, whining sound scratched his sore throat. "Sleep with me. You look tired." "Pete," Vegas warned. "You're burning up and you need to eat." "Just for a little while. It'll help." Vegas sighed. The sound came out unsteady. His bottom lip quivered, or Pete thought it did. His vision was too blurry to be sure. "Fine, but you're taking something for the fever first." Pete smiled tiredly at him. He didn't thank him. He would hate that.

[wigglebox]

NYCC The Winchesters - 1x01 screening, panel

Good morning/afternoon/evening people! 

So I had to take a break from art in order to write down my first impressions on things for the prequel pilot and the subsequent panel after. 

Note that I haven’t had any time to watch any interviews the folks did before the screening/panel, so this is just me writing what I experienced in ~*the room where it happened*~. The bulk will be behind a read more! 

** Note, I try to avoid mega spoilers but I do go into my impressions of the pilot and my emotions with it, AND I do outline the characters. I try not to get into the nitty gritty since y’all will mostly be seeing it tomorrow anyway, but if you don’t want even a HINT of a spoiler, just don’t read it lol. 

The tldr; I loved it, it has so much to expand on, and I can’t wait to start speculating with y’all again on something SPN based. 

—

I won’t lie, I was nervous.

Not because I didn’t think this show wouldn’t do a good job, because it’s made it this far — which is a lot considering the last two attempts at a spin-off were dead in the water. I was more or less nervous of the audience reception.

Living in one's own head as a Supernatural fan makes you and your goldfish bowl of friends in your Twitter GC and Discord servers, have a set of parameters of what makes a good Supernatural episode or not. But not everyone else shares those parameters that you have convinced yourself are right.

And I was nervous because, given those parameters, I had to keep reminding myself that this isn’t Supernatural. It is its own thing. It’s its own form, own show, with a connection to the main show. These are new characters, even if we knew the older versions of two of them already. Everything is still basically brand new.

My nerves came from a mixture of anticipation, fearing audience reception after the year and a half wait we had to think about this show, and not knowing if I or the audience can see this show as its own individual self and not just another Supernatural episode.

Suffice to say after like, the first five minutes those nerves were gone.

The Pilot

I’m going to get this out of the way before I continue. Pilots aren’t ever perfect. Even Supernatural’s pilot, which is a pilot that I consider to be top-tier, has some clunkiness. 

Pilots can drag, or pilots can speed — there’s rarely an inbetween. The Winchesters pilot seemed to be a little fast paced, trying to introduce the premise of the show a little too quick. The pacing of events and understanding and dialogue kind of felt like this should have been a two hour episode and not the 40 minute one we’re going to get. 

And, some of the dialogue, just like in its predecessor, was indeed clunky exposition. 

But I’m saying this as someone who yes, understands that’s what that was — but also someone who doesn’t take this into account when it comes to what makes a pilot successful. In fact, I never expect perfection in pilots. 

The Winchesters pilot has a lot riding on it. Not only is it the third attempt at a spin off, but it’s having to perform two duties where the original Supernatural pilot only had to do one.

The Winchesters pilot has to both grab old fans, and intrigue new ones. The original Supernatural pilot just had to attract new fans and build up a new world.

So, given that The Winchesters has to do a little extra work, and given that it’s a network pilot, a pilot in general — for me — the fast-paced nature of the episode doesn’t really affect it negatively for me. I expected it, and I’m sure others did as well.

A successful pilot for me is 1) am I interested in this world/characters 2) did you make me ask enough questions to come back next week?

And, The Winchesters scored on both of those accounts!

The episode opens up with its standard cold open where you mostly see a character you have no idea who they are, doing something that’s going to launch you into the next 45 minutes of adventure with the main characters. But, this cold open also has to launch us into the entire season. It’s the first-ever cold open for The Winchesters and it worked very well.

I’m not going to get too much into plot, to keep this spoiler free, however I will say in my head I described it as the Scooby Doo Avengers. When I say Scooby Doo I don’t mean campy, zoinks, goofy monsters of the week — but that there is this team, that is clearly already close, willing to do what it takes to figure something out. And... they have a van lol. 

In the group there is tension already from the get go, which I love. By group, I mean Lata [Latika but Lata is her nickname], Mary, and Carlos have already known each other.

Small spoiler, but at once point Lata tells, not asks, Mary “You’re still mad at me.” Carlos and Mary have tension and unresolved past things that they gotta talk about at some point probably. And John blends in with them rather effortlessly. I will say I’ll be keeping my eyes on John and Lata right now.

But all four of them had a chemistry that already worked. Not like “Oh we all love each other here, no problems at all!” kind of chemistry, but chemistry where you can tell that interactions aren’t being forced. Almost like they’ve been acting together for years by that point, even though they hadn’t.

That was another thing I enjoyed about this core four, the fact that they’re each their own characters but they’re also not standing out too much from each other. That they both don’t blend into each other, but also they’re not so over the top it feels like a caricature.

Here are my first impressions of the characters:

Lata is a book nerd, clearly the “brains” but she’s also rather timid, nervous about hunts, and finds her satisfying success when it comes to what she’s learned on the page rather than hunting down a monster. She’s softer-spoken, and I can see her being the more level-headed grounded one of the group. However, I can also see where her self doubt can get the better of her, and her fear, and given a conversation she has with Mary in the van — I have to wonder if something bad happened in the recent past that made her like this.

Mary is the kind of Mary I felt like we got with Sam Smith. Marching forward, doing what she has to do, almost “going through the motions” of being a Hunter. She already voices her desire to walk away from this, and it’s hinted in that conversation with Lata, something went wrong recently that caused a big upheaval in her life. But that’s kind of a plot point that can be saved for when you watch it Tuesday. Of all four of the characters, it felt like I knew Mary the most because we got later-seasons Mary for a hot second. However, you can see how Meg Donnelly brings her own understanding of the character to the table. I am so very interested to see where she goes throughout this series.

Carlos will be the problem child (affectionate). When the role was first cast, and you got his description, you saw JoJo getting cast, and then seeing him in the trailer, folks already pinged on him being the fandom favorite and I can see that. He’s sharp, witty, already has some one-liners, and I can easily see him causing but also solving problems for the group. One thing that gets me is that he comes across as almost stubborn, not willing to admit when he’s wrong, so I can imagine that comes back into play. That indication comes with a small conversation with Lata over something that happened in the past. It’s played off as a “ha ha,” but if you think about it deeper, you’re seeing someone who knows what he wants and likely will do what he has to do to get it. There are definitely two Alphas in this group, Carlos and Mary, and I can see them butting heads at some point.

And now we’re at John.

When this prequel was first leaked onto Deadline in June 2021, folks (save for myself and a few others that were on my timeline and Discord) immediately rocketed to their feet to voice their displeasure at John being a focal point.

Accusations of trying to twist the narrative and make excuses for John’s behavior in Supernatural-Prime (neglect, child abuse, etc.), or that the constant reminder that John and Mary’s love story was manufactured so how on earth could you have a story about it — or just the attitude in fandom that’s been in there since I’VE started, back in 2013, that John Winchester is an Asshole.

But, a few pointed out that indeed we don’t actually know anything about John aside from his father, Henry, “walking out” on him and his mother, and… that was it. The flashback episodes we had with Matt Cohen’s John were that of a story that we kinda already figured. “In the Beginning” was more about Mary and showing Dean how that deal was made, and “The Song Remains the Same” served as a lesson for Dean and Sam to understand that they “can’t escape fate” with their bloodline. 

Nothing’s really known about John at all, especially before 1973. 

That being said, I really have to spend this portion completely cheering Drake’s John on because holy moly. 

Drake has, and will continue to have, an uphill battle trying to get the most hardened Anti-John folk on board (a struggle Matt Cohen didn’t have to have as much I think). But, given the life that he’s brought to John in this pilot alone, I don’t think it’ll be too much of a struggle. 

I joked that with them casting Drake that “it’s almost like they want us to love and adore him” but I’m not even joking anymore. I adore him. 

Indeed, it’s important to note that this John is not the John we wind up with in the main show. And the cast and everyone involved knows that and have stated as such in interviews. They’re not erasing or rewriting anything. 

The truth, for me, is far more tragic:

The John in the pilot is likable with an almost puppy-like innocence, looking to get answers but also someone dealing with trauma himself as someone who went into the Vietnam War way too early and suffered the consequences of that. I won’t get into specifics, but there’s a touching moment when he’s describing what he saw and what happened to a dear friend and I almost cried. 

You have a kid, and yes I’m calling him a kid, suffering from this trauma in a way that you see twice in the episode, while also someone keeping his head held high while following orders and the motions from his new group of Scooby Doo hunters that he stumbled into. 

When asked how he found someone so fast, John remarks that’s what he does because he was in the Marines. So we get little glimpses of that. 

His ending moment after the final climax of the action was so adorable I wanted to squish his cheeks and yes, I know that’s weird, but he was so proud of himself. 

But, in my opinion, it also demonstrated something that I think may or may not come back — and that’s that he did what he did down there in the tomb almost a little too easily and without freaking out. And was excited to tell his new friends about it.

John in this show I think will become someone that even the most reluctant watchers may come to find they really like. 

And to me, that’s making him automatically, from episode one, one of the most tragic characters. 

Already in the pilot, I was mentally screaming for John to turn back, don’t investigate, don’t do any of this, because we know what’s waiting for him down this path.

I have to mentally make a line in the sand to separate Drake from Matt from JDM because there’s no way I can continue going with The Winchesters and not completely support and adore John and his efforts to understand the Men of Letters and also being with his friends.

With characters out of the way, I’ll mention we don’t get much with Ada or Millie, however I can’t wait to see more of them in the future and what they have to offer. Millie seemingly already knew about the Men of Letters and Ada — in my head when she was first announced as a character I saw her as a Bobby character, just the know it all that can be their “save us because we don’t know what else to do!” character. However it feels like she can, and likely will be, more than that. 

As for the plot of the episode, this is where my “Is a pilot successful” requirement is filled for “Are there enough questions to keep me coming back.”

The answer is, holy shit yes. 

Particularly two things, which I can’t wait to speculate on when the episode airs. One involves John and his letter with the Men of Letters star on it, and the other of who the big bad is for the entire season. I’m so excited to speculate with people on that.

But also, this hunters world in the 1970s is so different to me than what we were first introduced to in 2005. They don’t have cell phones, they don’t have GPS, they don’t have computers, they don’t have quick ways of communicating with each other. They will have a network, sure, but its the 70s. They also don’t have access to THEE Men of Letters bunker, at least for now, which holds a lot of information as well. 

So I have questions about those too. 

I didn’t want this show to just be about “hey let’s do a case study on John” and it doesn’t feel like it’s going to be that. I don’t mind that, but I also wanted this show to stand on its own.

And it’s clear that they’re looking at it in a way that will provide an actual story that can get folded back into Supernatural-Prime.

The Panel

After the pilot screening, there was a 30 minute panel with Danneel, Jensen, Meg, Drake, and Robbie and holy wow.

I wish I could convey to anyone reading this, especially anyone who had any doubts over anything, just how much this group cares. 

Like, it’s not even just in their words saying it, but you can feel it, and I wasn’t even in the front row. It was this like, almost electrical current in the air that could reach you and make you truly, fully, 100% understand that they’re not doing this just for kicks. 

They’re not just tossing aside whatever they want, that they’re not just doing this as a cash grab or anything — but that they’re a team of creatives that really truly wholly believe in this world that the main show created and wanted to explore that more. 

They do treat the existing material with respect, and that they’re not going to just throw all those 15 years of blood sweat and tears down the drain.

I remember in the months following the Deadline leak, folks online kept stamping their feet about canon this and canon that. We haven’t had much press until just recently about it therefore come comments that would be made at a Supernatural convention by Jackles from time to time would have to suffice, but still didn’t convince many.

I think at the time also, when the Deadline leak happened, a lot of opposition I saw came from younger fans, or newer fans, who started season 12 and onward (or even after the show ended) and didn’t quite understand just how monumental it was that Robbie was brought on board.

Robbie stopped writing for the show in season 11 and I wanted to take an informal survey of fandom asking them if they truly understood the word that he did. Some folks don’t pay attention to who writes what.

His episodes I find tend to be some of the most gif’ed episodes on Tumblr or most talked about episodes in general. Any one of his episodes you’d likely find up in any fan’s top 10 list. He’s given us Charlie, Eileen, and even had a hand in bringing Chuck back both in Fan Fiction and in Don’t Call Me Shurely.

For many folks who were in fandom before Andrew Dabb took over some time in season 11, Robbie was easily one of the top three writers for many people.

And there’s a good reason for that. Between writing snappy dialogue and getting characterizations down really well, he’s also seemingly a master at these unconventional episodes. He’s had more normal ones like Goodbye Stranger, 8x17, and First Born (9x11) among others, but he’s also done Baby, Girl with the Dungeons and Dragons Tattoo, LARP and the Real Girl, Bitten, Fan Fiction, Meta Fiction and the like.

He’s written episodes that were great for character showcasing while also having unconventional storytelling apparatuses as well. My favorite one of his episodes was Time After Time, 7x12.

Suffice it to say, them grabbing Robbie for this project really stood out to me, which is probably why when Deadline first leaked the project, I wasn’t upset. To me, if Robbie was involved, then that’s really all I needed to feel secure in knowing that whatever, or however, they were going to tell this story, he’ll have fun figuring it out.

And I can’t even begin to describe how much it really does come across how much Jackles cares. 

It’s very very easy for someone with that amount of talent to just peace out from a 15-year show that ended, a show that likely made taking other roles nearly impossible, and just go on to do bigger things. 

But the fact that he stuck around and that even before the show wrapped in Sept. 2020 (due to the pandemic) he was already starting on this? That means a lot to me. Like, no matter what he does, he seems to want to keep one hand on his roots and that can only benefit us because you don’t do that unless you really believe in it and care about it.

It’s also hilarious to me that in these press interviews, he’s basically being outed as THEE biggest SPN brain rot stan and, he’s not alone there. We have jackets, dude!

So yes, up on stage, with them answering questions and describing the process, how they’re viewing this — you can tell there’s a reverence they have for the material and understand truly how much time, energy, blood, sweat, tears, smiles, sadness, chaos had gone into the main show.

--

The pilot was good, it was something that would keep me interested with the characters they presented and the premise of the rest of the season to come. It established that we’re not in 2005-2020 anymore, it established a kind of big bad that we’re not used to seeing*, and it had enough easter eggs that satisfied my little Supernatural heart but not over doing it.

*This is something I can’t wait to speculate about.

On a personal note, I’ve been excited since that night, and had felt almost like I was in limbo for the last year and a half waiting for this moment and it was so satisfying seeing the pilot and understanding that my excitement and enthusiasm wasn’t misplaced in the slightest. 

I went into this with the question of “Will I be disappointed in all of this hype that I’ve helped build up for this, both in my head and outwardly?” And the screening and panel shot back: “Nah you’re good.” 

So I can’t wait to rewatch this Tuesday night, and then I can’t wait to watch it the following Tuesday, and again, and again. 

I’m excited for The Winchesters to grow its wings and fly! 

[junkbbykow]

So You Want to Be Famous

Since, I just did a PAC on fame I’m gonna look at my personal aspects in regards to it! I highly recommend reading this article to find your own placements!

In the article the first thing they mention are Fame (aka Leo) Degrees. 5, 17, and 29. Five represents brief fame while 29 has long lasting fame.

I only have one of these degrees. My mercury in Aquarius. I’ll gain substantial fame (if I desire) through communication. Which is funny because I have an obsession with media. Basically, communicating through artistic and digital means.

Next, Simone mentions MC/10th house. They also mention Household Name degree (28) but I don’t have this placement.

My MC was pretty close tho 😅 it was 27 degrees. Anyways my MC is also in Capricorn which isn’t a fame placement according to this article, but I see this is as supportive of my other fame placements. Capricorn is the house ruler of my 10th house, but most of my 10h placements are in Aquarius where I also have a stellium. Capricorn is very stable in my opinion, so the type of fame I’d acquire would be stable in some sense. That could be in finances, career opportunities, and so on.

Aquarius 10th house is an indication of being know as an innovator or eccentric! Which I can say is true, people often see me as weird. My Sun, Uranus, Neptune are all in my 10h in Aquarius. Mercury is also in Aquarius but in my 11th house. My Sun, Uranus, and Neptune attributes all want recognition and external attention. Basically my personality, my innovations/advancements, rebellion, and spiritually (never looked into Uranus or Neptune so this is news to me lmaooo)

With the Sun sextile my Pluto in 8h there are unconscious efforts supporting this. Which kinda relates to my 12h moon interpretation I mention later. Also, my darker/taboo interests and personality compliment my sun and why the public desires my personality. On the other hand, my Sun is squaring Jupiter. I like instant gratification and have a very outwardly bubbly personality. People like me for my darker Plutonian attributes but how I outwardly portray myself contradicts this because Jupiter is more idealistic. Sometimes I sugarcoat the truth essentially.

lmao I have a lot of aspects to my 10th house placements so imma just leave it at that. Maybe i’ll expand at a later date of y’all want me too!

Simone mentions 11th house and mentions how placements here represent a cult following.

Guess who has placements here….RIHANNA (lmao not me being her cult a$$ follower jsjsjsnd) and me 😌. My mercury is here in Aquarius. The way I communicate will gain cult following and I’ve been told in a lot of readings that I’ll probably write a book. But with 11th house representing online communities, I think the way I communicate through social media will garner attention. Similar to how people used to love what Rih posted in her early days with drama and tea. My Venus is also here in pisces so people will love how I love ig and the dreaminess of it. The reason were all obsessed with pisces lmao.

These are the only placements the article mentions, but I think Aries moons for some reason attract fame. Aries are leaders like Simone said. Aries moon natives (imo) lead with their emotions which is very attractive for a celebrity especially for one that is an artist. Rihanna is also an Aries Moon and so is Cardi B. My moon is in my 12th house in Aries and one degree away from a fame degree. WHICH MAKES SO MUCH SENSE. lmao my mother (and the women in my family in general) have close encounters with celebrities but for one reason or another they passed it up or (from my perspective) didn’t utilize it to their advantage. Like one of Jay Z’s albums is based off how my grandad dressed, my mom dated Jodeci and literally had to protect him in a club, and my aunt dated Kevin Durant, also my grandmother met JFK like all these random ass situations). There is something hidden in my opinion within our family related to fame across generations.

Oki byeee,

JUNKBBY KOW

[lurkingshan]

10 Characters and 10 Fandoms

Rules: name 10 of your favourite characters from 10 different fandoms, then tag 10 people to do the same. Tagged by @negrowhat.

Thanks for the tag, Eboni! I decided to 1) keep this to Asian drama characters only because that is the focus of this blog and also the list gets way too long if include western shows too; 2) force myself to choose only one character for each show which you should know truly pained me in some instances.

So, in no particular order:

Lan Wangji - MDZS/The Untamed

If you can see my icon, this one can’t be a surprise. I’m a total sucker for an emotionally repressed but utterly loyal and devoted character, and bonus points if their communication style is so subtle that a tiny facial twitch can send me into conniptions. Lan Wangji was created in a lab for me, basically.

Kakei Shiro - Kinou nani tabeta

New favorite coming in hot! But see what I said above about emotional repression mixed with devotion? Yeah. YEAH. I am obsessed with the way this man draws mental boundaries to self-regulate his emotions and protect himself. And the moments when his depth of feeling breaks through are just *chefs kiss*. I lost my shit every time he let one of these smiles loose.

Teh - I Told Sunset About You

And now for something completely different! Teh has never repressed an emotion in his life and I love that for him. This is one of the messiest characters I have ever loved with my whole entire heart. He loves deeply and obsessively, he is passionate and mercurial in the extreme, and he is just as likely to crush you as he is to make your heart soar. In the category of emotional intensity he is unbeatable.

Yoon Sae Bom - Happiness

I LOVE THIS WOMAN. She is just as likely to patiently listen and give you devastatingly accurate life advice as she is to get frustrated and push you off a building. She’ll keep you guessing but she always has your back. She cares for children, the elderly, and gentle weirdos but she has no patience for assholes engaging in tomfoolery. And if anyone needs a good ass kicking she is always ready and willing.

Xiao Qi - Monarch Industry

Now that we’re talking about ass kicking, I would be remiss not to mention this man. An absolute king of Getting Shit Done. He is walking competence porn. He commands entire armies on his strength of character alone, and at the same time he is thoroughly kind and patient with his loved ones. His moral clarity never wavers. He is loyal to the core and if you’re one of his people he will protect you and give you so many chances to do the right thing. And if you’re in a bind you can bet he’s gonna show up at exactly the right moment to help. I want to be him when I grow up.

Lee Ik Jun - Hospital Playlist

Swoon. A talented surgeon, a loving father, a devoted friend, a patient lover, an all star vocalist, an actual comedian. What a man. #1 on the if I ever entertained the idea of marrying a man list.

Choi Yuna - Semantic Error

Still swooning over here. #1 on the if only I was into women list. She just oozes cool in every direction. She is a loyal friend but she will absolutely mock you when you deserve it. She clearly has her shit together and knows how to fix yours, too.

Choi Taek - Reply 1988

Taekie is all about the contradictions. He’s a loner genius but also a devoted friend and loving son. A total sweetheart with seemingly zero social skills who will suddenly shock you by being a bold closer when it comes to romance. A deeply wounded lost little boy but also A Man when and where it counts. PROTECT HIM AT ALL COSTS.

Tian - Khun Chai

He’s just so good, y’all. One of the kindest characters I have ever encountered in fiction. Truly a cinnamon roll, too good and too pure for this world. Wants nothing more from life than to stay in the country with his boyfriend and adopted children reading and writing and occasionally visiting with his fam.

Goo Se Ra - Into the Ring

Listen this woman is absolutely unhinged. Ran for office for the money. Couldn’t care less about your dumb little power struggles but will absolutely blow shit up if it helps her get ahead. All the fervor of Leslie Knope with none of the competence. I’m obsessed with her.

I am cutting myself off at 10 but I could keep going all day (Shi De, Pat, Frame, Alan, Shin Woo you are still my beloveds!!!) Tagging @troubled-mind @skamskada @lanwuxianfromlotuspier @midnight-sun16 @waitmyturtles @wen-kexing-apologist @gillianthecat @respectthepetty @chicademartinica @dangermousie if you want to play! Just ignore if you don’t. :)

[dirtyvulture]

Natasha Romanoff x Beefy!Lawyer!Reader

18+ only, read at your own risk

Requested by @dinolandsworld: ok here i am!! i'm exposing myself a lot here but this is actually a fantasy of mine and the law jargin story added a lot to it ... basically having reader fucking natasha senseless in an actual courtroom.

maybe reader is prepping for a trial and yk how they get the courtroom to practice before it and nat shows up and once again gets turned on because of the words reader is using and because how hot she looks in a suit .. and yeah. just nat getting bended over the witness stand with reader fucking her from behind

that would be kind of it

Word count: 1337

AN: Looks like y’all couldn’t get enough of Part 1, so here’s a little more to keep the sinners fed. 😘

Repost because Tumblr is a hoe.

“The defense would like to bring Ms. Johnson to the stand at this time,” you say, trying your best not to look down at your notes. Your partner, Jennifer, sits behind the podium, playing the role of Ms. Johnson.

“Ms. Johnson, can you confirm that you were walking on the sidewalk of 7th Avenue on the night of July 30, 2022?” you ask.

“I was,” Jennifer says.

“Could you see the two defendants sitting on the front porch of the house?”

“Yes.”

“And were you present when the gunshots were fired?” you ask.

“Yes, because I heard them and saw the muzzle flash,” Jennifer answers.

“Could you see who fired the gun?”

“No, but I know a gun was fired from that porch.” Jennifer was going off the police report with Ms. Johnson’s witness statement. This cross-examination was the only way to extract information that wasn’t recorded in the official report–and also point out its flaws.

“But you don’t know who shot it?” You hadn’t intended for it to sound like a question, but you couldn’t take it back and Jennifer jumped on your mistake.

“Objection,” Jennifer says, now taking on the role of the opposing counsel and the judge. “Asked and answered, Y/N.”

“Right.” You’re grateful she doesn’t steamroll you and cause you to lose your rhythm, but you gracefully move into the next question without much pause. “After the gun was fired…”

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Natasha strides through the courthouse, searching for Department 103. This is not her element, and she feels like a foreigner wandering the halls. People in full suits–whom she assumes must be attorneys–walk by, and she secretly hopes you’re wearing one, too, even though you were just here for court preparation.

After consulting a faded directory on the wall, she finds the correct courtroom. She pushes open the door slightly, hearing your voice and your partner’s.

“Objection, Your Honor,” Natasha hears you say and she feels a jolt go right down her core. “There is a lack of foundation for that evidence because the opposing counsel did not properly admit it.”

Natasha had spent the last few weeks watching all the law shows she could get her hands on, but she still doesn’t understand a word you say.

“Wait, really?” Jennifer breaks character to ask you.

“You didn’t ask the right questions,” you say.

“I didn’t?”

“No, remember you have to have the witness testify about the evidence. Then you have to ask the court to admit it. It’s a step-by-step process.”

Natasha wants to swoon when she hears you educating your partner about court rules.

“Ok, that makes sense, thank you.” Jennifer collects her notes into a briefcase. “You’ll be okay for tomorrow?”

“I’ll be out in a few minutes. Just need to go over some last-minute arguments,” you reply.

“Need any help?”

“No thanks, I’m good.”

“Sure. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Natasha backs away from the door and waits until your partner exits before popping up.

“Oh, hey, Natasha,” Jennifer says. “Y/N will be right out.”

“Thanks.” Natasha practically runs into the courtroom. “Hi, baby!” she calls out.

“Nat! What are you doing here?” You’re in the middle of clipping your briefcase closed when you turn around and see her. Today, you’re wearing a white button-shirt whose buttons look like they’re going to pop off if you flex too hard, paired with black suspenders. Natasha wipes her chin as she walks up to you.

“I thought we could grab dinner together,” she says, grabbing onto one of the suspenders and dragging you down to her level. She takes extra caution to kiss you lightly on the lips when all she wants is for you to take her right here in the courtroom. “I heard a little bit of what you and Jennifer were talking about. I still couldn’t understand any of it, but it was…” She bites her lip while looking up at you.

You chuckle, no longer surprised at how much work talk turns on your girlfriend. The last few times you were in bed with her, she had made you recite your entire thesis.

“You want me to put you on the stand?” you ask, your voice lowering.

Her eyes widen.

“And what if, instead of cross-examining you, I fuck you?”

Natasha looks at your crotch, where she suddenly notices how much it’s bulged out.

“Just in case.” You wink at her.

Natasha squeals as you pick her up easily and carry her to the podium to the right of the judge’s chair (maybe you could use that another time). You kick the chair out of the way, setting her on the desk and brushing her hair aside so you can kiss her neck. Natasha throws her head back and moans, her hands clinging onto your broad shoulders and raking down your back.

“The defense would like to call Ms. Natasha Romanoff to the stand,” you whisper into her ear, feeling her shudder against you. “Do you know why you’re here today, Ms. Romanoff?”

“Because…Because…” Natasha is already a mess and you haven’t even touched her yet.

“Because you were fucked by the defendant?” Your hand forces its way up Natasha’s shirt and gropes her breast. She pants against your neck, her nails digging harder into your back. “Answer the question, Ms. Romanoff.”

“Yes, yes, I was,” she begs.

You pick her up off the desk and turn her around, bending her forward until her stomach is flat against the wood surface. Her skirt rides up and you see she isn’t wearing panties. You lick your lips in anticipation.

“The defendant’s counsel would like to introduce Exhibit A to the jury,” you say, keeping one hand on Natasha’s butt and the other pulling down your pants so your strap has room to pop out.

Natasha keens when she feels the toy brush against her center and pushes back instinctively. You thrust your hips forward and bury the strap inside of her without warning. Natasha squirms underneath but you keep her pinned down, your muscular thighs pressed to the backs of hers and you don’t move so she can adjust to the size.

“Ms. Romanoff, is this the same strap the defendant fucked you with?” you ask, barely able to control your own breathing now.

Natasha feels so full, her walls massaging the strap and she clenches uncontrollably around it. “Yes, it is,” she answers, her voice strained.  

“And how exactly did the defendant fuck you?”

“Hard and rough,” Natasha says, hoping to get her point across.

“Like this?” Your fingers tighten around her hips and you start hammering your hips like an animal.

“Fuck, Y/N!” Natasha screams at a volume that makes you momentarily concerned someone outside will hear. She goes limp across the witness stand as you pound into her tightness, grunting and growling with each of your thrusts.

You never thought you would take your girlfriend like this, in an actual courtroom on an actual witness stand, and you won’t take the opportunity for granted. The strap is angled upwards to hit your own clit with every thrust, and the stimulation is enough to keep you in line with Natasha’s pending orgasm.

“Did the defendant let you cum?” you ask, keeping your rough pace, although your thrusts become more uneven and sloppy.

“Yes,” Natasha squeaks.

“Did you want to cum today?”

“Please let me,” she practically sobs.

“The court will allow it,” you respond, giving her one more deep thrust and feeling her walls tighten around your strap. Your body goes rigid as your own orgasm washes over you, and when your legs finally stop trembling you rest a little of your weight on Natasha’s back and stroke your fingers through her hair softly.

“You okay, baby?” you whisper, stroking the back of her head.

“Perfect,” she sighs.

“Good.” You gently pull her off the witness stand and push her down onto her knees, your slick strap bobbing in front of her flushed face. “How about we try introducing Exhibit B to the court now?”

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AN: Hee hee. 😈

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[shhtickerbook]

reas honest comfort after reading all of ur wonka fics and it reminded me of being 15 it was so awesome i love how you wrote regression as part of deviancy it was an amazing fic truly

Omfg thank you so so much!!! Y’all can’t even understand how happy and comforting it is to know ppl enjoy my silly little agere fics :,)

I actually started writing honest comfort when I was 16! And I had a lot of fun creating the relationship of deviancy and regression. As the source is pretty sci-fi in genre I really wanted to make a way for age regression to fit into the world! I personally much prefer agere fiction that feels realistic to the world that it’s in, not that I don’t like the “littles are known / classification” settings! They just don’t interest me too much, I like to explore the reactions of age regression and the way people can learn and accept it! Writing my fics is basically little me coping and creating a world for myself where I would feel safe and protected hehe