#bby boy raphael...

[lichbutch]

ough i miss being in high school and unnofficially volunteering at the vet's office. nowadays theres so many requirements to be a volunteer and honestly i just want to go give cats love. nothing made me want to be a good person more than seeing how excited the strays at the vet's were when they saw me coming

[maegalkarven]

An interlude. What now?

Happens between Empty Prayers and Dreams of Red.

Nemo tries to be serious and Think of the Future. It backfires.

Characters: Dark Urge (Nemo), Enver Gortash, Astarion, Karlach, Wyll, Shadowheart, Gale, Lae'zel.

TW: mentions of cannibalism, questionable way to raise children (Nemo wtf), canon-typical Durge behavior.

Info about Nemo's assassins:

https://www.tumblr.com/maegalkarven/732101148639707136/so-i-actually-created-most-of-the-notable?source=share

"You do realize we all are doomed, right?" The question comes out of nowhere amidst of one of the calmest nights they have. It breaks the feeble illusion of peace right away.

"Now, you don't have to put it like that," Gale tries. "We still have some choices-"

"Blowing yourself up is not a choice," Wyll cuts out, uncharacteristically sour.

"But-"

"No, Gale," Shadowheart agrees. "No more stupid self-sacrifices for the gods who do not deserve that. Besides, you remember what Gortash said? What if you have done as Mystra wanted you to and detonated the orb in the illithid colony, it would turn every parasite-infested person into mindflayer?"

"I'm not sure how much we can trust a word of the former Chosen of Bane."

"Fair," the former Chosen of Shar agrees. "I wouldn't trust him either. But something tells me this time he was telling the truth."

"He also sits just across you, if your memory is that fragile," Gortash comments. "And thank you, not like I was thinking of impending doom and our deaths for every hour of every day now."

"Not like you kickstarted this whole event," Karlach comments.

"And what would you have me to do, let Orin kill Nemo?"

"Well, you could have not tried to conquer the world using the extremely dangerous magical artifact and, you know, the Elder Brain."

"You keep saying that, but I have yet to hear a single idea how to fix it and for us, you know, not die drastically and like fools."

"Everyone always dies like a fool," Astarion comments. "Death is dumb like that."

"If you'd only let me finish," Nemo raises his voice. "And stopped this 'woe are us, we are doomed' crying-"

"We are listening," Wyll tries. "Oh, well, at least I am trying to."

Nemo sends him a grateful look.

"Alright, let's start it anew, you literal bickering children-"

"Hey-"

"Gortash started it-"

"Oh, fuck off-"

"Quiet," and surprisingly, they all quiet down. This is who Nemo is forced to work with these days. Unbelievable.

"We are screwed. This is not me being overly dramatic, this is not me being pessimistic, this is the actual truth we're dealing with. The Elder brain has one stone and if it wasn't breaking out of the hold before - which he was, very much - it's clearly out of it now. Now, the questions why it hasn't turned everyone into mindflayers and why it's playing laying low for now is a mystery, but-“

"It's luring us back to it," Astarion comments. "What? Can't we offer our thoughts too? I didn't know it's One Man show you're having here."

"You have no idea how many people have been stabbed over interrupting him mid speech," Gortash comments. "Me included."

"Oh yeah, well, maybe try to not talk over me, asho-"

"I wasn't talking over you-"

"Just like you aren't doing it now?" Nemo glares at him. "You're lucky I need you alive."

"Thank you oh so kindly, the gracious one-"

"Tsk'va," Lae'zel interrupts the quarrel. "You two desire to tear into each other’s flesh so much it makes you stupid. Go get the urges out of the system and come back when you're capable of being rational."

This comment, made with intention of calming things down, has rather the opposite effect.

"You're the one to talk," Nemo hisses as his face reddens.

"I do not ‘desire to tear into his flesh’," Gortash argues.

Astarion laughs.

"Yes, and I am not a vampire spawn."

"Can we not fight?" Wyll, an unfortunate voice of reason amidst this chaos.

"Oh, I don't know," Gale smirks. "I rather find it amusing to watch."

"You know what?" Nemo snaps. "Go on, detonate this orb. I'm done with it."

"Now I'm not going to, purposely because you asked me so nicely."

"I fucking hate this family."

"Karlach, you already said that."

"It doesn't mean I hate it any less."

"I miss my children," Nemo suddenly chimes in. "They listened to me."

"Your who?"

"Oh, please," Gortash snorts. "I once saw one of your children stab her brother over something minor."

"It was their brother and it was nothing minor. He took their target, that's just rude."

"I'm sorry," Gale tries. "Can we backtrack now? What children are you talking about now?"

Nemo blinks at them.

"Oh," he exclaims. "My assassins, of course, the ones I personally brought into the fold."

"And the reason you address them as children is because..?"

"They were orphans Nemo picked up from the streets," Gortash mentions. "At least that's what I was told."

"Excuse me, what?" Karlach, indignation flaring with her fire. "You stole children?"

"First of all, it's kidnapped and not stole. Second of all, they came willingly," Nemo scoffs. "And really, do you think they had any other choice? Do you think any good life was waiting for them? I saved their lives."

"You've abducted children into the cult and made them killers," Wyll speaks. "Nemo, this is-"

"Wrong?" He interrupts. "How wrong can it truly be? They would die without me, or better yet, get killed. Do you think there's mercy for a girl who took a life of her stepfather? Whose mother blamed her for the murder even if said stepfather was in dire need of killing?" He pierces Wyll with a sharp stare.

"Do you think Flaming Fists would save a little tiefling boy with too much magic in his blood? Do you think they'd get to the mad crowd in time and protect the boy from it? Do you think they'd even care?  A tiefling child, an evil child, a hellspawn. No one would miss him, no one would cry for him. And," he smiles and this smile looks poisonous.

"Do you think your honorable father would spare a child whose survival was linked to the deal with the fiend? Do you think he, who exiled his own son, would look at destruction of the House Et'rris, at the only surviving its member, linked to a devil, and help them? Save them?" His voice drops to a low tone.

"How dare you judge me? You were not there to save these children, I was. What did I do but gave them a second chance? What did I do but gave them home? Where else would they go? Who else would feed starving orphans on the streets, Duke Ravengard?" He laughs an ugly, bitter laugh.

"The Council of Four? Don't be ridiculous, they never even looked down to see the low folk struggling. Those children, all those children would die if not for me. From the so-called justice, from an angry mob, from prison, from starvation. I found them, fed them, cared for them. I made them best of the best, the perfect murderers, the perfect shadows of the night. And who can hurt them now, when they're the worst things haunting Baldur's Gate? Who would dare to strike at them but their own? I made them strong."

The stunned, eerie silence falls over the camp.

Then Karlach raises her voice.

"What did you feed them with?"

"This is irrelevant."

"No, it's not."

"It was a good meat: not rotten, not touched by any diseases, I even cooked it-"

"I fed children the human flesh?!" Gale asks in horror.

"Of course you'd assume it was human," Nemo scoffs. "It was elven too, you know. Some dwarf meat, even halfling or tiefling there and there-"

"You did what?!"

"It was that or starving on the streets! And anyway, I was fed humanoid flesh my entire life and I turned out alright-"

Astarion scoots a little closer to Gortash.

"He did not turn out alright," the pale elf whispers, watching the argument rising to new, dangerous heights. "And you knew that, didn't you?"

"What Nemo eats flesh?" Gortash hums. "It wasn't a big secret."

"And what he feeds his...children the same?"

"It's a Cult of Murder," the man shrugs. "One expects some level of atrocities from it."

"That's not the answer."

"That's the one you'll get," Astarion watches Gortash watching Nemo, a small satisfies smile dancing on his lips. "I don't particularly care what he feeds his assassins, only what all of them seem to care very little for table manners."

"So I'm guessing you've met them?"

"Yes."

"...What are they like?"

"Why don't you ask their benefactor that and not the man who saw them once or twice?"

"Because their benefactor is currently in a screaming match with our companions," Astarion's shrugs. "Though he seems to be holding his ground just alright."

Gortash snorts.

"He used to lead fifty or so bloodthirsty murderers and made it look easy," another long, heavy look at Nemo. "He is good at handling people. Bhaal convinced Nemo the best thing a bhaalshapwn can be is a perfect blade, which is a shame, really. Nemo would do wonders in high court; he has enough charisma and intelligence to wrap the nobles around his fingers without them so much as noticing it.”

"It sounds like you admire him," Astarion comments, trying very hard not to feel slighted at that. Of course tyrant admires his nearest in dearest, it was to be expected. And anyway, doesn’t Nemo deserve to be admired?

But why does it sit so ill against his skin?

"Of course I admire him," the tyrant replies, not even looking away from the assassin. "He is brilliant. His part in our plans is not to be overlooked; everything came falling apart the moment Orin replaced him. Bhaal might have been content with a mad woman who could not control her urges, but our plan could not. She made a mess of things, ruined several of carefully constructed plans and hadn't even noticed. The amount of people I had to tadpole simply because Orin was acting unwise is-" he sighs. "Where Nemo would just waltz into the room, smile and bullshit his way through everything, Orin made things worse."

Astarion hums.

"I once saw Nemo convince an orthon to kill his minions, then his pet, then himself," he mentions. "So I can easily see him doing that."

"An orthon?" Gortash looks surprised. "Where in the Nine Hells did you find an orthon?"

"In a Gauntlet of Shar," Astarion shrugs. "He made an ill-fitted deal with Raphael and tried to get out of it. Nemo tricked him into false getaway."

Three's a long silence after that.

"Raphael," Gortash speaks slowly, as if tasting the words. "It's been a while since I've heard that name. How did you stumble into him?"

"More like he stumbled into us. He appeared from the thin air, laid heavy on those sweet talks of his and tried to talk Nemo into a deal. Probably still trying, all things considered. I am not sure what exactly he wants from Nemo, but he is insistent."

Gortash grows silent once more.

"I would advise against strikingly any deals with that particular devil," he comments after a pause. "Deals with him are even fouler than the deal with the devil would be expected to be. Raphael is clever; he is patient and knows how to play the game. Worst of all, he is at advantage of knowing Nemo while Nemo does not know him, and in the position where he is holding a grudge against the dear assassin of mine."

Astarion bites down the bitter taste of the way Gortash claims Nemo as his.

This can wait. His questions would not.

"Why would he hold a grudge against Nemo?"

Gortash actually laughs, a short lived and curt sound, but laugh none less.

"Because Nemo has done something Raphael failed to do. Raphael has been lusting after the Crown of Karsus for millennia, but was never able to relieve it from Mephistopheles' vault. Together Nemo and I successfully orchestrated and executed the plan what brought the crown into our hands."

So this is what Raphael wants.

"He is after the crown," Astarion comment. "And he thinks Nemo will be able to get it for him."

Gortash nods.

"And I can't express enough how this is absolutely a thing what cannot happen. Raphael is bad enough without a otherworldly power what is the Crown of Karsus in his claws."

"So," Astarion studies the man closely. "Better the crown in your hands then?"

Gortash smiles.

"Providing what we can get it off Elder Brain first and live," he comments. "But yes."

[forget-me-maybe]

WIP Whenever

thank you for tagging me @bby-bel-art <3

tags for: @darkurgetrash @lemonsrosesandlavender @faerie-with-a-knife if you wanna <3

here's a lil snippet from the next chapter of yksu, tav and raphael visit the counting house. things don't go according to plan. and credit to @darkurgetrash , slade, general screaming in the server, a seething ****, and soulja boy for raphael's undercover name.

while the plot in my head gets darker and darker for this fic, the writing gets sillier and sillier.

(this is very unedited)

The sun sits high in the sky as they leave the house, the air lies unusually still, not even a soft breeze to save them from the unforgiving heat. Embarrassing as it is, Raphael is sweating copious amounts, his thin shirt sticks to his body uncomfortably, a drop of sweat runs down his eyebrow and he mutters a curse as he wipes it off with the back of his hand. 

He glances at the little mouse, not a single drop of sweat to be seen on her freckled cheeks. In fact, she seems completely unbothered by the raging sun. He can’t help but shoot her an angry glare, which she also seems completely unbothered by. 

Not even the thick stone walls of the Counting House seem to protect them from the natural elements. The foyer reeks of the sweaty bodies of the awaiting customers. Raphael does not dare to think about how much of it is coming from him. 

The little mouse walks over to the clerk with confident steps, and Raphael follows suit. 

The clerk’s face lights up when he spots her. 

“Miss Tavanthuriel!” he says. “Our honoured customer, are you here to make a deposit or a withdrawal?” 

“Thank you, Meadhoney.” The little mouse smiles sweetly, almost a bit too sweetly to seem completely genuine. “Neither actually, I’m here for him.” 

The clerk looks past the little mouse’s shoulder onto Raphael and the look on his face quickly turns serious with a hint of confusion. 

“Oh, Mr Applebottom, we haven’t seen you or your associate around in some time.” 

The little mouse shoots him a curious look at the fake name, Raphael can’t do more than shrug, the name being under Korilla’s domain.  

“Are you here to make a deposit or a withdrawal?” the clerk asks. 

“I need to access my safe. My business is my own,” Raphael says. 

“Of course,” the clerk says quickly. “Do you have your bank pass and your key?” 

The question shouldn’t baffle Raphael as much as it does but he quickly gathers himself. 

“It seems I have left the key and the bank pass in my home in Cormyr. Of course, that shouldn’t be a problem.” 

“Of course not,” the clerk says, eyes narrowing. “I’ll just need you to fill in the required paperwork and have someone vouch for your identity. I assume that’s why Miss Tavanthuriel has accompanied you today.” 

“Clearly,” Raphael mutters and the little mouse looks way too amused for his liking. 

“Of course, I’ll vouch for Mr Applebottom,” the little mouse declares confidently. 

“Excellent, just fill in these and come back to me,” the clerk says and hands him a form. 

While Raphael appreciates the art of proper paperwork, he wouldn’t call this proper in any way. Many of the questions are things he left in Korilla’s hands, such as “How much gold does the vault contain?” and some are just purely irrelevant, such as “Are you or a close relative a person in a politically vulnerable position?”. 

[alexanderlightweight]

Hi! Your pinned post (... That's what it's called right?) says if you don't get a prompt on a Wednesday they still count (and I would have waited until next Wednesday to send mine but to be fully honest I have memory issues and will have forgotten I even wanted to send a prompt in two days).

I read your stuff about Ragnor meeting Alec in the sentient shadows verse (which is excellent, by the way) and I loved it so so so much it was incredible so basically my prompt is : bby Alec (in whatever verse you want!) meeting various downworlders and utterly charming them by just being himself (and being oblivious that he's making half the downworld platonically fall in love with him hahaha).

Have a good day ! Days. Week. A good month even!

He’s that’s what it called! I did end up changing that a bit ago because of how many prompts I’m getting but I still take the prompts especially when people don’t know! And tumblr edits are weird, they don’t always show up for people right away.

I hope you like where I went with this prompt! And enjoy!

—

Raphael freezes, because someone is watching him, or something is.

“You’re really pretty.” A soft, childish voice says and Raphael’s unbeating heart forcibly flutters, just so it can stop beating again.

Raphael looks down and to his left and there’s a small child watching him from the shadows.

“You should not be here, mijo.” Raphael murmurs and he doesn’t step closer, instead he inhales and he winces.

Angel blood.

“You need to leave.” Raphael hisses and he shows his fangs, for once hoping that this child will be just as indoctrinated against vampires. That he will be terrified and run.

Instead Raphael gets a genuine, half-startled smile.

“I want fangs.” The child mutters and he pouts, expression exaggerated as he tries to jut out just his canines. He tries to hiss and instead he just makes a sound like a raspberry and Raphael didn’t realize child soldiers could be cute.

It’s a sobering thought.

“Mijo.” Raphael tries, because being mean didn’t work. “It’s not safe here, okay? My leader hates nephilim and loves angel blood.

“Your leader?” The child asks, precocious and daring and not even a little afraid as he walks a little closer. He’s still mostly in the shadows and Raphael half hopes he’ll be a ghost or something and that Raphael’s hallucinating the scent of angel blood.

“Yes, my clan head. We all must listen to her, no one under her authority can protect you from her.” And Raphael has had very few decent experiences with nephilim interference, he'll trust himself far more.

“If she’s bad, why can’t you remove her from authority?”

“We need a reason and proof, little cherub.” Raphael admits, unsure why he’s being so talkative but he figures it’s the fact that the nephilim is a child. A curious, brave, foolish little boy. Perhaps similar to how Raphael himself once was… a very long time ago.

“Does she hurt you?” There’s a moment and a darkness to the soft voice of the child. “It’s not okay if she hurts you. Do you want me to hurt her back, I can make sure she doesn’t hurt you again?”

Raphael stares because when he first saw and smelled a nephilim child, this is not where he thought his day would go.

“Ay, Dios mio.” Raphael murmurs and then he winces when the child perks up and repeats his offer… in Spanish.

“No. No.” Raphael says in English and then Spanish and then in half a dozen different languages until his eye is twitching. Thankfully, it does work but then Raphael is being met with a protective little scowl, one that looks unimpressed.

“You cannot help me, or anyone in my clan.”

“But I’m a shadowhunter, it’s my job to help.” It would sound almost naive, if there weren’t already a small weapon strapped to his thigh. But Raphael knows better, that this small nephilim will not be able to help and he will grow up far more jaded.

“I’m a vampire. You have no reason to interfere in my clan’s dealings.” Raphael reminds him, because it’s important to make that clear. Even if the child is wanting to ignore the laws in order to help him from some strange misguided sense of protection.

“So I need a reason to help you?” The little, unsettling cherub frowns but it looks more like a pout. Raphael is reminded of the children he used to help watch over and he ignores the pain. There’s a glint of calculation and then a tiny, feral smirk. Far too jaded for such a young child and Raphae recognizes the marks of nephilim born better now.

For none of their babes are ever raised truly as children.

“If we get married I could help you.”

“Excuse me?” Raphael asks, wondering if the sun has suddenly comeup.

“You’re really, really pretty. And mother said I’ll need to get married someday anyways. You’re a vampire, you could wait for me since you’re immortal and then I can marry you and help you.”

A minute later Raphael is watching the child — who still hasn’t introduced himself beyond Raphael’s future husband apparently — sketch out what are basically strategy plans.

They’re crude but usable and coherent, all the parts except where a very small half-cherub is trying to marry Raphael.

“Mijo—“ Raphael sighs, “I’m not going to marry you.”

“My mother is really pretty.” The child says with a shrug, “and I’m going to be pretty deadly when I get older. I’ve heard that’s a good combination.”

Raphael curses as quietly as possible — is still overhead and understood — and then he looks down.

A hand is politely tugging on his jacket.

“Is that not enough?”

“Not for me.” Raphael says gently, “all hearts yearn for different things. Mine does not wish for a partner like that.”

“Oh.” There’s a wrinkle of a small nose and then a sigh, “that makes sense. I think you’re the prettiest person I’ve ever seen but they reminded me that we haven’t seen many people.”

Raphael takes that as the platinum lining it is. He’s not sure who ‘they’ are, but for all he knows, invisible friends happen across races.

“So you’ll leave?”

“I’ll leave.” The kid smiles up at him and then his foot scuffs over the dirt in the pothole he was using to draw. “I still like you though. If you ever need help, you can ask for us. If the shadows ever hunt you, then ask for me. Alec Trueblood, Raphael Santiago.”

The kid steps back and smiles, a little hand wave even as Raphael startles.

While he finally has a name… Raphael never offered his own.

Raphael takes a step back, his instincts suddenly screaming and he realizes that he felt nothing around the child. They’re gone, as if they were never there in the first place and Raphael swallows venom as it floods his mouth.

It’s as if the child registered as neither predator nor prey.

Raphae swallows and slides into the shadows and mouths the name, ‘Alec Trueblood’. He doubts he’ll ever have a need, but the child did offer and Raphael will remember it.

Just to be safe.

—

Alec: wow, so pretty. Must marry so can protect

Shadows: there is a big ocean with a much prettier fish that is better for you

Raphael: im allergic to fish. Anything besides blood really but especially relationships

(Apparently in the books canon, baby Alec has a crush on Raphael)

[dark-shells]

Y'all forgetting the best screencaps of Raph in the new episodes

[shroudedunderworld]

Songs I Associate With Obey Me Characters

(I tried to explain why but it was difficult to put some into words 🥲)

💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥

Lucifer:

When The Seasons Change - Five Finger Death Punch (specifically how he feels about MC)

Mammon:

Money - LISA (I can just imagine him twerking on his pool table in sunglasses with LED lights flashing around him to this song while money rains from his ceiling)

Rich People $hit - Your Favorite Martian (meme song about money for meme man about money)

Leviathan:

Sink Away - Blixemi (I'm literally writing a Leviathan x Reader angst based on this song on Wattpad lmao y'all should read it fr 👀👀)

Welcome To The Internet - Bo Burnham (do I need to explain?)

Satan:

Cradle To The Grave - Five Finger Death Punch (lol bois been a menace to society ever since birth)

Asmodeus:

Keep Riding Me - Jake Hill (gae sex)

IWSS - Delli Boe (more gae sex)

Beelzebub:

Food, Glorious Food - Oliver! The Musical (Don't even question it)

Belphegor:

Nowhere To Run - Stegosaurus Rex (lol murder)

Diavolo:

Surface Pressure - Jessica Darrow (please just let the man live his life let him have his Youthful Fun™)

Barbatos:

Are You Satisfied? - Marina And The Diamonds (all bro wants in life is to serve Diavolo wtf like bro are you fr satisfied?)

Simeon:

Walk Away - Five Finger Death Punch (lol fallen angel Simeon AU where MC ain't too happy and it's a songfic based on this song is almost all I ever think about)

Luke:

Make A Cake - Minecraft Parody of Katy Perry's "Wide Awake" (I had to and I am not sorry)

Muffin Time - RoomieOfficial and asdfmovie8 (muffins :D)

The Muffin Song! - asdfmovie and Schmoyoho (more muffins :D)

Solomon:

A Thousand Years - Christina Perri (Lmao old man)

Raphael:

You're The Inspiration - Chicago (sweet sweet bby he's such a lover boy fr)

Thirteen:

Daisy - Ashnikko (she gives bad boss bitch vibes and I'm here for it)

BONUS!

Lilith:

One Not Two - Blixemi (just listen to it, it's self explanatory)

💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥

Yes, I'm aware of how many Five Finger Death Punch songs there are. Don't question it 🙈

[stup1dwriter]

I told my friend her opinions on obey me characters here they are (includes cuss words)

Belphegor:Mommys boy, thats his name, he looks like he has cow fetish or sum shit

Mammon:Gay fuckboi,Wtf is that feather doing there and those boots are a crime

Satan:Fruity Adrian Agreste green nails pop off

Lucifer:Daddy (all she said)

Leviathan:Emo Adam fron sk8 the infinity

Asmodeus:If being a bottom was a person

Solomon:stylist,after daddy the only one w a good style

Simeon:The hot guy who people mistake for a girl a lot

Luke:Brat

Barbatos:a snake

Lord Diavolo:The come to me bby girl pose is giving me red flags

Mephistopeles:The professional gay

Thirteen:The bisexual older sister

Raphael: (she didn't say shit)

[obaby-obeyme]

Let’s go ❗️LESSON 52 SPOILERS❗️

Previous lesson: Angel Lucifer finds Sully and MC

You have the option of telling him you’re angels

He’s talking about his brothers; Beel eating fruit from the orchard and Belphie constantly sneaking down to the human realm. Also Raphael seems like a jerk type of angel.

He tasks MC and Sully to help him carry books to the library.

He tells Sully to open a certain book.

*GASP* Luci how could you?!

Ngl, this part was sorta intense

Lucifer asks what you are. You can the option to choose between Demon, Angel, or Human. I choose Human ofc.

Nice, this gives us a timeline...sorta. So this is before Solomon was given the magic ring I’m guessing.

Aww bby🥺

-Skipped a little but he lets Satan go

He’s referring to Diavolo.

He said something about meeting Dia.

skip skip skip You all meet up with everyone and watch the stars.

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

The other brothers fell asleep. He says Beel and Belphie still sleep in weird positions as they do today. And he:

Big brother mood🥺🥺

Oh dear if only you knew...

So you wake up:

Turns out it was all the fairies work. So this whole thing could’ve been a dream or vision or sorts and not really time traveling (which means it does not affect the timeline). Also, “something you wish you could’ve experienced”. Does Satan wonder what it would be like if he was once an Angel?

“Ehe-te nandayo” vibes 😂

Last minute booking so you have to share a room with one of the boys: Satan, Mammon, Simeon, or Luke.

Simeon is fast to jump on that train but YES DADDY PLS-

Sad news you end up getting your own room. Mammon and Luke end up sharing (LOL). You meet Simeon in the hallway.

This lesson just makes me want to give Simeon a big hug. He really misses his brothers🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Anyways-

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH 

I LOVE YOUUUUU!

WOW okay devs....

Ofc I answered it wrong 😂I’m human but I’m a dumbass too!

Lesson End: You get a star each from Luke and Simeon. I forgot but I think it’s to help you become a sorcerer.

SIDE STORY (MY FAVORITES)

For Context if you don’t remember: Barbatos came to the cafe and ended up having to teleport Simeon and Satan to help MC. Which left him alone to man the cafe (which was a mess).

Babatos requested that Diavolo help man the cafe and Dia asks Levi to help...can you imagine Diavolo being a cafe waiter?!

Lucifer: “Do you think you’re fit for this job?”

Levi:

Mood.

Solomon shows up and offers to help out. Diavolo declines saying he doesn’t need anymore help serving. 

Solomon:

I love that Lucifer at least takes Levi with him and just doesn’t abandon him 😂

Back to present time:

I love it. Barb is so sassy

Ah, so Barb came to deliver supplies only to be left to deal with a mess. Poor guy, I understand why he’d be angry.

The f’in names 😂

And now angry Simeon (who is also terrifying)

Simeon finds out Luci and Levi were also there but didn’t stop Solo from going into the kitchen

The side stories are always my favorite because they’re just pure chaos.

_

Overall, this arc was interesting. We can’t say for sure they travelled to the past since this was a dreamlike thing the fairies did. And we finally got to kiss Simeon so hell yes. I wonder who will be the focus next. Barbatos maybe? Of course, this still continues MC’s journey to becoming a licensed sorcerer. Solo does ask for help from Barb and Asmo (in the previous lesson) so looking forward to Asmo/Barb/Solo content (maybe)! The Sorcerer and his demons 😈

Just 8 more lessons before season 3 is over (I’m assuming). Then we’ll get a break then season 4! 

[spectrumscribe]

Okay so you mentioned a while back that in your Gem au the first to fuse are mikey and leo during a battle situation. Can we hear about how it happens? Their reactions? The rest of the teams reactions? Love your work!!

(They’re still using their gem names at this point, so I’llgive a quick refresher: Jasper=Mikey, Iolite=Leo, Pyrope=Raph, Pearl=Donnie.)

(also thank you for asking about the gem au, i love talking about it lmao.)

—-

Jasper hears the rumbling sound before Pearl can shout awarning, and he knows it for what it is before the name reaches his ears. He’sheard the sound many times in his old home, his first home, the holes in theground that were always empty and put into cliffs that were slowly crumbling-it’s the sound of an-

“Avalanche!”  Pearl shouts, spurring them all into action.

Except, Jasper knowsthat they won’t be able to outrun it, not at this range. This whole mission hadbeen a mistake; the four of them messing with integrated mining technology whenthey shouldn’t have. Trying to remove them from the surface of the mountain hadcaused this, and now they were paying for it.

The boulders tumble down the mountain side at them, andJasper sees that there’s no escape route to find. Maybe he and Pyrope willsurvive the rockslide, but Pearl and Iolite stand a good chance of beingcracked- or worse- shattered by thewave of earth headed for them.

Iolite is the closest to the oncoming threat, and he meetsJasper’s eyes as a boulder bears down on him. He’s actually scared, utterlyterrified of this force he can’t reason with or even hope to fight-

-and Jasper is sprinting back towards him, ignoring thecalls following his frantic scrambling.

Maybe if he puts himself to Iolite’s back- maybe his bodywon’t give way and Iolite’s gem won’t be damaged- maybe Jasper can keep himsafe and Pyrope can keep Pearl safe-

-maybe they’ll all make it out of this-

-Jasper doesn’t want to be alone anymore-

-so he grabs Iolite’s waist as the rocks close in on thegem, and hugs him tight as he can.

And-

-something happens.

Jasper- Iolite- disappear.

Someone new opens his eyes, and finds himself strong enoughto kick the rocks out of the way.

Surprised laughter bursts out of him- he’d never been able to do that before- never so strong- and hebounds down the mountain towards the concerns that’re still pulling on him.

Pyrope is shielding Pearl with his body, though Pearl is fightinghim, saying they have to keep running, go back for the others-

-and a boulder bigger than them all is tumbling downstraight towards them-

-and Hiddenite catches it like nothing.

Wow, even Pearl seemstiny now, he laughs to himself. What a change! Pearl’s always been thetallest of them, and now he’s smaller than Hiddenite by at least two heads. Histwo sets of eyes crinkle as he smiles at his two friends, trying to bereassuring even though a large part of him just wants to run around and smashmore boulders. 

“Don’t worry, guys!” Hiddenite says brightly. “I’ve- we’ve- I’ve got this!”

Pearl and Pyrope gape at him, and Hiddenite just laughs.

—-

Pyrope can’t stop staring at the fusion sitting in front ofthem; trying to wrap his head around seeing another cross-gem fusion.

He distantly wonders how Jade would have felt about it.

“So… you hugged, and it just… happened?” Pearl asks, eyeingHiddenite’s considerable size and double eye sets.

“Yeah, basically,” Hiddenite says with a careless shrug. Heflips the long hair he has on one side of his head, the mottled white and bluestrands cascading down his right side. The whole of Hiddenite is a mash ofblues and yellows, mixing into green where they overlap. The two sets of eyesare a little unnerving, since the directions they’re looking don’t always syncup, but otherwise… it’s a stable fusion. Hiddenite stands up off the boulderthey put him on, rolling his shoulders and grinning with hints of oddly sharpcanines. “This is kinda weird, I’m admitting that, but also pretty neat? I’m sobig, ha ha.”

“You’re not… upset?” Pyrope asks cautiously.

“Why would I be?” Hiddenite asks back, cocking his head tothe side. “Being me saved everyone, so it’s all good. Plus, I smashed like ten boulders, and carried everyonearound like nothing. This is officiallyone the best things I’ve ever gotten to do.”

“Cross-gem fusion is forbidden,” Pearl says quietly, stillnervously eyeing Hiddenite. “I’ve heard terrible stories of gems going insanewhen they fuse with gems outside their category types.” Pyrope averts his eyesfrom Pearl, hearing that statement. “Are you sure you feel fine?”

“I feel like I could fight a whole mountain! Again!”Hiddenite boasts with a laugh. Then he sobers, looking at his hands and pursinghis lips. “But. Uh. I’m not really sure how to go backwards? Its all- fuzzy and stuff. I mean, this is pretty nice,but I also wanna know how to be- me? Again? The other me’s. Not this me.”

Pearl glances at Pyrope, still looking uncomfortable withthe whole thing. Pyrope schools his expression into something neutral and stepstowards Hiddenite. The fusion between Iolite and Jasper have made them a lottaller, and he has to look upwards to meet their eyes.

“You just have to reach back into your memories, and findwho you were before,” He says slowly. “Or you can fall out of alignment byletting go of each other. You said Jasper grabbed Iolite when the rocks werecoming down, right? Well, mentally let go of each other. The danger’s over now.”

Hiddenite looks thoughtful, humming to himself and pacing inplace a bit. Pyrope ignores Pearl’s looks at him and the fusion, and waits forthe newborn Hiddenite to figure things out.

Hiddenite closes his multiple eyes, and takes a comicallybig breath. There’s a beat where nothing happens, then a flash of brilliantlight- and Iolite and Jasper are falling to the ground without grace. They landon their backs, and Jasper and Iolite stare at the sky in a dazed manner. Atleast until Jasper starts laughing wildly.

“Oh- oh my gods,” Jaspersays, smiling wide and excited. “That was so cool!!”

“I just fused with another gem,” Iolite says in a confusedvoice. “I- that’s really, really illegal. Oh my gods.”

“And it was the coolestthing ever! Can we do it again? I wanna smash all the boulders!”

“I- I’d have to arrest myself. Submit myself for trial and-oh gods, shattering.”

“Yeah but now you don’t have to, so let’s do it again!!”

“Oh my gods.”

Pyrope sighs, and figures this is something neither gems aregoing to let go for a good while.

“How did you know how to unfuse them?” Pearl whispers, closeto Pyrope’s side. “You- did you ever-?”

“A long time ago,” Pyrope says, old grief coming to himagain as Iolite and Jasper re-familiarize themselves with being separate beings,and with each other.

Pearl narrows his eyes, not hostilely, but in the way healways does when he’s curious about something. “And you weren’t shattered forit?”

“Not me,” Pyrope says. “But she was.”

Pearl pauses, and then puts a hand on Pyrope’s shoulder. “I’msorry for your loss,” He says softly, and with more sympathy than any other gembefore him. Which is- none.

No one cared if one gem was shattered, not with the crimethey’d committed together. They’d only cared that Pyrope hadn’t been shatteredalong with her.

“I’ll tell you about it later,” Pyrope says, brushing memoriesoff as well as Pearl’s hand. “We need to corral Jasper before he tries to forceanother fusion.”

Pearl hums in a way that means he’ll definitely be askingabout this later, but lets the subject drop in favor of going to help Ioliteshake off his daze, and helping Pyrope catch Jasper before the gem flingshimself at his fusion partner a second time.

[wyverncove]

Raphael has NO business bein so darn PRETTY 😖😖😖

Oh the lyrics are from a song called cocoa hooves by glass animals!

N le pretty boi is orangeplums bby from SAM

[castiel-kline]

KitKat’s Random Rewatch (part 2)

The Man Who Would Be King (6x20)

For, um. Obvious reasons.

Ahhhhh this monologue is so fucking good

“But come on, dried dung can only be stacked so high.” Cas should do a stand up routine ngl. This line is some kind of comedic genius

He looked RIGHT at the camera. I remember the first time I saw that I was like hello, this ep is going to destroy me. Spoiler alert: it did. And does.

Cas called Sam being in the cage “a great cost” and immediately went to get him. 🥺 And did he seriously imply his overconfidence gave him the strength to fight his way into the cage? Damn. Confusing, but go off I guess

“Sometimes we’re lucky enough to be given a warning. This should have been mine.” AHHHHH

Cas, come on. You’re smart enough to pick up on when Dean’s being sketchy

Dean said Satan Jr and I forgot this was season 6 for a sec and was about to get mad because that’s not a nice thing to call Jack, Dean. Um, yeah. Turns out they’re talking about Crowley lmao

I have MISSED Crowley’s shouting. He’s so dramatic.

Cas is so done with Crowley’s shit ahaha

The colors of his preferred Heaven are so beautiful

Cas being happy to see other angels will never not make me sad. He’s literally smiling so big considering it’s his s6 self ahhhh. AND THEY’RE HAPPY TO SEE HIM AND HAPPY HE’S ALIVE MY EMOTIONS HURT AHHH

“Freedom is a length of rope, and God wants you to hang yourself with it.” One of my favorite Cas quotes right there

“You never look like you’re joking.” I love Cas’s sense of humor so much. Also, Raphael, kindly stop being an asshole. We do not need to restart the Apocalypse, thanks.

When did Cas stop doing the invisibility thing? Bc that could have come in handy later. Can Jack do that?

Bobby said he doesn’t want to be right about Cas being sketchy. Aww. I wonder if Bobby would have considered Cas one of his boys like Mary did if Bobby had... you know. Lived to see Cas soften out a little bit.

‘I’d die for him, I would.” Aww, Sam.

“That makes you Lois Lane.” Did... did Dean just say Sastiel rights?

I’d be more touched about Dean defending Cas but like... after this he doesn’t ever really give him the benefit of the doubt again, so. I’m a little upsetti spaghetti.

What was up with this demon Bobby guy. He’s funny but like. This is the only time we ever saw him lol

Cassss smite them demons bby. Get em.

All of their smiles at him are so cute. And Cas is just standing there like oop

“I’m still just Castiel.” YES YOU ARE HONEY. AND WE LOVE IT.

Cas is such a bad liar but like he’s also so good at it. Buddy, you’re so complicated. Wouldn’t have it any other way <3

Protective Cas! We love to see it.

OH SHIT he slammed Crowley into the wall so hard it broke the tile. King shit, Cas.

“I’m an angel, you ass.” Another iconic line. This ep has so many.

So it IS official canon that angels don’t have souls. Well, that sure sheds a lot of painful new light on the soulless Jack situation later.

I know Dean says later that Cas could have asked him for help while he was with Lisa, but tbh I’m pretty sure if Cas had actually asked Dean would have said no. I’m in a psychology course right now, and that makes me marginally qualified to say that Dean was definitely experiencing some major hindsight bias.

What happened to Hell being an endless line? When did you stop that, Crowley? Because that would have saved Bobby and Kevin and Eileen so much unnecessary pain.

“Big bald patriarch” is now the only acceptable way to describe Samuel Campbell. That was hilarious. Thanks, Crowley.

I should also mention it’s weird to see Crowley without the beard. Does anyone else get that upon rewatch?

Did Cas actually take 50000 souls from Crowley just to throw Raphael out of his chair and make a statement? Honey, no. But also, king <3

The trap they set for him... Sam looks so sad about it. Ahh.

Okay but one of Bobby’s reasons not to trust Cas being that Bobby didn’t buy that Cas could be effectively tricked by Crowley is pretty cool. At least someone appreciates how smart Cas really is.

The Sam and Cas angst in this scene is immaculate. When Sam asks, “did you bring me back soulless on purpose?” Cas looks HORRIFIED. I don’t think we see him look that level of horrified again until... the end of 15x15 maybe? With that whole whammy Jack unloaded. Which is... wow. Much to unpack.

“I was there. Where were you?” I think we all know Dean is a little bit of a hypocrite. Because this entire season he most definitely didn’t care about Cas’s problems, and I’m pretty sure he did ask for help one time and they said no. So, you were there, but you weren’t a helping hand. You gotta practice what you preach, Dean-o

I know it was a complicated situation but leaving him in the holy fire is still pretty shitty. Come on, guys

“Get out of my sight.” I’m grinning during an intense scene because GO OFF CAS YOU TELL HIM

“The difference between you and me is I know what I am.” Crowley, kindly stop exacerbating Castiel’s self worth crisis. Please and thanks.

Does Bobby have a guest room? Where’s Sam? Why is Dean sleeping on the couch? Did he just want to? I’m sure Bobby has more comfortable places to sleep. Or maybe Bobby’s couch is just really comfy, idk

God, Dean, don’t be so rude. Don’t call Cas a child. I do not approve of this interaction.

Again, Dean. Practice what you preach.

“You’re like a brother to me.” In light of, uh, recent events, I’ll just leave this here.

Also in light of recent events, this is the second time in this episode Cas said the boys taught him free will. They taught him choice, not feelings. And it was CAS who chose to feel.

“I’m an angel. You’re just a man.” You tell him, Cas

Lmao Cas dipped out before the convo was over. Iconic.

The ending on the bench.... Cas. Sweetie. HE SAID FATHER AHHH. And he looks so SAD. Also, the way it was shot was really cool. I can’t believe I didn’t notice that before.

The way it ended with him just hanging his head. Oh, my heart.

Anyway, this episode is a 10/10 for Cas, obviously, but we’re bumping it down to 8/10 because there was such an imbalance in Dean and Cas vs. Sam and Cas interactions. Didn’t remember the show was doing that crap this early. Also, the plot of season 6 low key still doesn’t make sense to me. Oops 🤷‍♀️

HOWEVER, it did me feel slightly better during my current crisis because Cas slays in this one. So, we’re gonna count it as a win.

If you read this thing all this way through, thanks for being here lol. I hope you enjoyed my ramblings. :)

[2k18leo]

The Ancient Art of Ninja Hide and Seek notes:

((Spoilers))

- wow these titles were long today

- Mikey bby. Choose something OTHER than scissors next time. You can do it

- HAHAHA THE BOYS AND THEIR SAVAGE ATTACK STANCES HAVE ME WHEEZING

- Awww Mikey cooked Brussel sprouts that’s so cute

- Oof splints knows something about big mama

- Leo already IS light as a feather because he does this move ALL THE TIME

- “Gimme back my tech bo... and wallet” 😂

- Mikey yelling “Here I come!” Is the equivalent of Sokka yelling “SNEAK ATTACK” when running up to Aang

- Mikey honey that’s the sun

- Did Mikey say “Chinese brother is right?” Or “Tiny brother is right?”

- Hahahah I love how they’re all so lazy that they’re using Donnie’s tech to carry them

- Splinter frantically pushing the close button on the elevator is so me

- Are the floor level symbols zodiac signs?

- Hahaha “I don’t deserve my Greatest Dad coffee mug”

- Are they all under the cart or is it just Mikey and Donnie?

- “I am as pleased as I am totally shocked” 😂

- Mikey using the slow motion jitsu is the same as Drax thinking he is invisible to the naked eye

- Love that Splinter saved the boys

- Also love how Gus just used the hidden floor exit to flip out of the room

- He said Raphael omg Splinter is growing. You know what this is. Growth

- HAHAHAHHA RAPHS FACE AND LAUGH AND TIPPY TOES IM DECEASED

- Leo is still Blue One tho

- Leo is an ass pouring his drink in his face. I LOVE HIM MORE AND MORE EVERY DAY

- Wheels on stairs. Why did y’all get OFF THE ELEVATOR ???

- Whoa sick lava lamp room

- “I will never doubt you again”

- Omg I’m feeling so nostalgic with the white eyes and the keeping to the shadows. I feel like a proud mom

- “I DO deserve my worlds greatest dad coffee mug” YES YOU DO SPLINTER AND DONT YOU FORGET IT

- This is the type of father-sons love we APPRECIATE

- Oh damn splinter is up to something

- WHAAAT BIG MAMA DATED LOU JITSU

- Overall, I LOVED this episode. Maybe one of my favorites. I like how they incorporated an actual lesson for the boys to learn. Very cute. Loved all the boys and their idiotic selves. Also I loved how both of these episodes were related to/about splinter. We’re learning things about his past 👌🏼

[moonlightflower21]

How would the guys react the their girlfriends getting pregnant with their child? I’m in the biggest mood for dad!turtles

sweetheart, i'm always in the mood for dad!turtles 😍

Leonardo: he was knew something was up, the way you were acting and even the change in your body. So when you tell him, he's not that shocked but he does stay still for a couple minutes, internally cheering. Before he lifts you up and hugs/kiss you and then runs to tell everyone, mainly Splinter

Raphael: poor things gonna need a minute...or an hour. He's just in shock, eye wide hyperventilating at the fact that there's a living thing in you. But when he recovers from that initial shock, to everyone it's gonna be HANDS OFF 🚫🚫 you thought he was protective back then?? 😂 nah bby, he's gonna make sure no one with even touch you

Donatello: *brain has gone into overdrive* he just sorta freezes, breaking such massive news to him. Like Raphael, once he recovers from initial shock he's gonna be reading up already breaking out the scan to see the wee little baby.

Michelangelo: "you're pregnant!!" He's so happy and freaking excited for the baby to come, he's already started to make a list of what he would name his girl/boy. Honestly the most cutest because he's so in tune with you.

[angryducktimemachine]

Was tagged by @thefoxybinch​ so here we go! If you want to see me doing this for another one of my OCs feel free to send and ask or a DM and I will do it!! I love doing those things for my OCs once in a while.

GENERAL

Name: Joschka Balthazar Ke’reman

Alias: /

Gender: male

Age: 27 (in 0 BBY) (but for the sake of including his boyfriend and future life i will answer as if he was already ~ 36)

Place of Birth: Devaron

Spoken Languages: Devaronese (mother tongue, with a strong dialect), Basic

Sexual Orientation: homosexual

Occupation: Physical Therapist/Medic

APPEARANCE

Eye Colour: yellow

Hair Colour: /

Height: 1,65 m (5′5)

Scars and burns: one amputated leg, many smaller cut and burn scars on his other leg, various tiny scars from little injuries he got in his life, scar above eyebrow after getting into a fight

Body Type: Broader Shoulders, not very muscular but also not much body fat

FAVOURITE

Colour: blue

Music Genre: anything calm he can vibe too, think Cosmo Sheldrake

Movie Genre: no preferences

Drink: Unironically enjoys drinking tap water

Book: /

HAVE THEY

Passed University: Nope, dropped out of med-school after his sister died to join the Devaron’s Angels rebel cell

Had sex: yes

Had sex in public: no

Gotten pregnant: no

Kissed a boy: yes

Kissed a girl: no

Gotten tattoos: no

Had a broken heart: no but he has accidentally broken other people’s hearts. twice. from the same person.

Been in love: yes

Stayed up for longer than 24 hours: all the time

A cuddler: YES

A kisser: yes

ARE THEY

Scared easily: Depends on what, usually not

A Virgin: no

Jealous easily: not really

Trustworthy: yes

Dominant/Submissive: /

In love: yes

Single: no (get together with future husband at 30)

RANDOM QUESTIONS

Wanted to kill someone: in heated moments, yes, also: The empire

Rode a horse: no

Have/had a job: yes

Have any fears: a few, thunderstorms, disappointing his father figure, sudden loud noises scare him

FAMILY

Siblings: Nadeja (6 years older, deceased), Natalka (2 years older, alive)

Parents: Antonja (mother, alive), Balthazar (father, deceased)

Spouses: Zachrael (ex-boyfriend, alive @spacelordextraordinaire​); Chronos (husband, alive @the-dark-sleen​)

Children: Raphael

Pets: Cupcake (rescued Vornksr)

-------------

[obaby-obeyme]

LET’S GET IT

❗LESSON 56 SPOILERS❗

STRAP IN EVERYONE! IT’S THE MOMENT A LOT OF US HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR.

Previously in chapter 55: Diavolo disappears and you and Belphie go look for him.

_

Belphie tells you a little bit about Raphael

HmmMmmm, demon in disguise eh??

You recieve a note to meet in the circus tent. Someone has taken Diavolo hostage and is demanding money.

All this is happening and the two demons literally do not give a shit 😂

Belphie to bad guy:

Ohhh yes it’s been a while since we’ve seen this side of the boys

Anyways, the bad guy (kidnapper?) fires the gun at Belphie but you chant a spell to protect him. He states that a bullet wouldn’t hurt him and thanks you anyways.(So we now know demons are bulletproof apparently)

YES GET HIM DADDY! (Bad guy takes off and Lord Diavolo was really gonna get the Royal Army to catch him)

After that fiasco, you 3 watch and enjoy the circus together and this part was really cute.

He’s so lonely 😭😭😭😭😭😭

SKIPPING A FEW IN BETWEEN BANTERS AND WHOLESOME SCENES TO GET TO THE GOOD PART OF THIS LESSON

WE FINALLY GET SOME DIAVOLO BACKGROUND! YESSS YES YESSS!

BABY DIAVOLO CONFIRMED

Omg this makes me so sad 😭😭

Note: Remember, Barbatos was never a child. Can you imagine and smol little Diavolo asking Barbatos a bunch of questions and just being really curious about everything (much like how he is currently).

😂😂😂 Now we know why Barb stayed. (I’m sure there is a deeper reason to why Barb stayed) (I still want to know about Barb’s past before he met Diavolo tho)

He also asks you random questions like, what your favorite food is...and something else I forgot (lol) BUT THE SMALL THINGS

Of course anything for you bby

*gasp* Is he finally gonna get to say it? (He’s always been interrupted before)

*INCOHERENT SCREECHING*

AHHHHHHH YA’LL HAVE NO IDEA HOW HARD I HAD TO CONTROL MYSELF MY HOUSEHOLD IS SLEEPING.

PLS-

AHHHHHHHH

*DIES*

End lesson

_

Thoughts:

Okay for some reason, personally, I always felt sorta sympathetic when it comes to Diavolo. Maybe it’s because he always seem so lonely? Idk but this lesson made me very happy for him. He was finally able to confess his love for MC. BUT what now? In one of the previous lessons, when Diavolo was close to confessing to MC (and Lucifer was kinda eavesdropping), Lucifer didn’t seem too happy about it. I wonder why? Also, Barbatos is such a wing man. I didn’t SS it but he purposely left Dia and MC alone so they can have their moment. Side thought on Barb: I wonder if in the future further lessons, Barb will fall in love with MC too because he’s so committed to Diavolo, it seems like he wouldn’t betray him. We did get a look at MC/Barb relationship but it hasn’t developed romantically (imo) yet since we really don’t get a lot of interaction with Barb (in main story). But we’ll save that for later. Also, Belphie and Diavolo finally come to a mutual understanding, let’s hope we don’t have anymore of that mess in the future.

4 more lessons to go! Im pretty sure the rest of the lessons will wrap up with MC getting their sorcerer’s license ofc. And we still have to find out who Simeon went to meet secretly (pretty sure it’s Michael or Raphael).

In conclusion, MC has 7 powerful demons, an Angel, A Human Wizard, and now a Demon prince wrapped around their finger. (WE’RE COMING FOR YOU SOON BUTLER).

[magiquemalec]

3x19 reaction I guess

I'M NOT READY BUT HERE WE GO THOSE PANTS MEMORIES OH GOD I'M ALREADY IN PAIN AND IT'S BEEN 5 SECONDS ASMODEUS I'M SCREAMING ABOUT EVERYTHING

magnus pls put 2 and 2 together I'm begging you MAGIC !!! FINALLY!! YES THERE IS A PRICE CMON MAGNUS PUT IT TOGETHER ok but I really loved that I want more Magnus and Asmodeus scenes alec bby "I'm fine" no you're not dark clary 👀👀 jonathan needs to learn how to share "patience is just not my thing" me waiting for the malec wedding welp rip serum? we makin gold nuggets now OH GOD HERE IT COMES I'VE ALREADY SEEN THIS AND I STILL WANT TO CRY when was this? alec's hair and outfit look like s2 alec but who knows with this whacky timeline THE MUSIC MAKES THIS SO SAD NO MAGNUS WHAT ARE YOU DOING NO NO NO NOT THE LOCK god he rly destroyed the lock bc it hurts too much I'm in pain american commercials are weird I'm not here for Maia/Jordan pls get this out of my face I don't want to watch pls stop Maia deserves better no thank you oh i forgot raphael was human for a hot sec actually sounds like a not horrible plan I'm impressed alec :( he's like 2 seconds away from crying it hurts #letmalecbehappy2k19 (or would it be 2k16? the timeline is a mess) idc about any of this but dark clary is hot OH KNSLDGGDF NO "You're gonna be a hell of a dad" I CHOKED YES YES YOU DID EIASKLDNG  G I CAN'T EVEN I'M IN PAIN THIS HURTS BUT IN THE BEST WAY you're gonna kidnap the seelie queen ok sure what even is this team evil plot american commercials are still weird anyways Malec better be back together by the end of this episode or I'll riot I really hope Magnus figures this out I mean 'cmon Alec breaks up with you and then 5 seconds later Asmodeus gives you your magic back and doesn't ask for anything in return? Magnus isn't that dumb (but I get he's in a lot of pain and probably not thinking clearly sp sklndg idk man I just want them to be happy) sizzy actually has chemistry when they're not trying to force the romance it's tragic well at least you tried Jace lol I CAN'T TAKE ANYMORE OF THIS PAIN STOP magnus ://// that was a really weird zoom oh no magnus is a sad boi montage jem talk some sense into him pls I'm begging you CLIFFHANGER BADUM seriously jem we're all counting on you don't let us down HE'S SPEAKING YES TELL HIM MAGNUS LISTEN TO HIM JEM WHAT TE FZCK DON'T GIVE HIM IDEAS HES GONNA TRY NOW i miss saia this is sad woob woob woob "kidnap" the queen uhu taking drugs that are falling from the ceiling great idea yeah I'm sure that's gonna end well there's not much time left I'm losing hope for a malec reconciliation more woob woob no he's just high af alec dw demon boi is jelly I'll just pretend Maia/Jordan scenes don't exist that's a nice sword you go iz still don't care about team evil I have nothing to say also I guess we're not getting a present day malec scene this episode cool sure yeah it's fine totally fine the editing for this fight scene is kinda...bad unnecessary slow mo I KNEW HE WAS GOING TO TRY thanks asmodeus? I guess? put it together magnus pls he's cryinng no I can't take this NO NO NO I DON'T LIKE THIS NO I don't know how to feel fuck everything