#bc i want to focus on buddie and not on the fact that everyone is going to end up in group therapy

[kkami-writes]

ok I just really need to rant and I really don't have anyone to talk to rn and i'm just feeling really bleeeeeeh you know?

I have a group of new york friends (I live in cali) who I spend a lot of time with, we play games together, watch movies and all that stuff. we're even planning a group trip soon and I really want to meet them. We've known each other for years and we've done lots of secret santas and everything. There's one person (who i'll call S). We were close, we had a lot in common and we got along great. We shared struggles together and could talk easily with each other. He had revealed he had a crush on me. (this is in 2020 during covid) I'm a very touch heavy person and one of my love languages. Him living in new york would be really hard. but he's a nice guy and I have a lot of fun with him so I agreed to a 'date' so we had a valentines date over video call and discord. and while I like him, I just don't think I felt the same and again, I really did NOT want to do a long distance relationship. so I turned him down and things were okay for awhile. Then a couple weeks past and I had mentioned that I went on a date with someone (i did NOT enjoy the date btw) but it set him off and he needed some space. which I totally get and understand!!

so back to now I don't really remember what mended our friendship but we were close again and have been for a few years now. I consider him my best friend. out of everyone in our group I felt like I could be real with him with my depression and anxiety. not that I can't with the group but I just felt he always understood me the best, considering he deals with it too. For the last two years we've gotten closer, we'd send stuff to each other, we did buddy reads, like typical?? best friend things. But recently I have felt a little? smothered by him, constantly asking me if my anxiety was acting up or whatever and it's like i'm glad you care but like if I needed help I would go to you, you don't have to ask me everyday you know? and then I was getting worried that he was relying on ME to much. which of course, i'm glad to help but it felt so overwhelming sometimes because I can't help all that much besides give advice, and try to comfort him. and the point is that I wanted him to be able to reach out to other people but it felt like he was dumping it all on me and I was starting to not be able to help bc it felt like I was just repeating myself over and over again you know?

anyway I needed to ask him if he was having feelings for me again because I could start to tell. he had told me no and then I asked if he was lying and then he told me no. but then he didn't talk to me for a few days and in my head i'm like. ok so you lied to me. but a few days later he was back to normal and i'm like...so we're just?? gonna ignore that? okkkkkkk.

and then in chat I mentioned that I had given my number to a cute guy at the boba shop. (I wrote my name and number on a napkin, gave it to him and then ran away bc i'm a big baby). this had set him off because that is that last time I heard from him. the guy never even texted me back (which of course made me feel bad since i'm really insecure about my appearance right now). the thing that I hate the most is that he ghosted me. Our other mutual friend had to tell me that he's taking a break from our discord server. and it sucks. and then it brings me back to all the times we shared and it's like??? did you only do those things because you like me??? like I know you genuinely care about me but it's only because you like me. Like you can't??? respect the fact that I just don't like him like that and i'm trying to put myself out there? something I haven't done in THREE YEARS. I've been single since 2019 and for the first year or so I was happy bc I really needed to take a step back and focus on myself. and now i'm soooooo fucking lonely but it's hard to meet people. I don't have a license, I don't leave the house that often bc my friends all moved away my father is always out either with friends or at work (my parents are divorced and I see my mom rarely). and it's like the one time I put myself out there I get punished for it. and like I know he's going through a hard time I get that, he's been pretty bad lately but. does he even know how much he's hurt me by doing this too? like I get he needs space and like I get time heals all wounds blah blah but it's been a month and I have not heard from him since. He'll still join the discord but as long as i'm not there. and I avoid it too if he's already there. and it's just?? this week has been up and down and i've been feeling icky and god I just??? wish I could talk to him because he'd know what to say? How to cheer me up? and like I'd talk to my best best friend but she's dealing with so much right now that I hate putting more on her plate. She tells me I should hang out with our other friend Z but me and Z had not really a falling out but we didn't talk to each other for a long period of time after a friend situation but her and my best best friend still get together. but it's just??? awkward for me. I would like to be Z's friend again but it really feels like I don't know how to socialize anymore. I know I really need to expand my bubble but idk man.

and even if S gets over it and goes back to normal I don't know if we can??? have the same closeness as before because I can't keep doing this. like it's so unfair to me for you to come into my life ghost me. come back and ghost me again after we got REALLY close. like?? I don't wanna give you all of my heart if you're gonna give it back just because I don't feel romantically towards you?? I wouldn't mind being friends again of course but I'd keep him within a ten foot pole. I can't be emotional or real with him anymore. Just strictly whenever everyone else is in the discord playing games or watching movies.

honestly I've essentially lost a best friend.

this got...really long but I really don't have an outlet right now and yeah. sometimes I

[lovecolibri]

Regarding Buddie going canon, I feel like there's been so many missed opportunities already (like the shooting, the will, their failed relationships etc) that if one day it does become canon, everyone will think it's coz people asked for it and not bc it was always gonna happen. Like, with other TV shows where there's a slowburn and it takes several seasons for the main characters to be together, it's made clear from the start that there's attraction and later romantic love but they're not getting together bc they have their own issues or bc they're scared. But it hasn't been made clear for Buddie so that's why it could look sudden if it becomes canon. They'd have to spend like a whole season showing hints and have them have a conversation that explains why it took so long or smth, to make sense of those missed opportunities. Hopefully this is what will happen but yeah 😅

Nonnie, I saved you for last (aside from a few sweet comments I'm saving in my inbox for a rainy day) because OOF this is EXACTLY where I am at and have been since 4x14 dropped the ball so fucking hard by making it all about BT and shoving Eddie to the side. People like to call this a slowburn but it absolutely is NOT in my book because the hallmarks of a slowburn are that we SEE unambiguously (not the show "playing both sides" and saying people can see whatever they want even if it's not what they intend) that both characters, often at different times, expressing to SOMEONE (a 3rd party or just to the audience via a pet/inanimate object/a mirror, whatever) that they have feelings for the other. And it all becomes about right place/wrong time, wrong place/right time, missed connections etc. I love that! I would love to have seen more of it with Buddie!

And this far in, and especially after the backlash at this finale, if they DO start brining in Buddie feelings realizations it becomes an issue of explaining WHY it took this long, WHY none of the other major events gave us anything, and then you have the OTHER fan backlash of people saying the show is "caving to liberal pressure" and "making the characters gay out of nowhere" because the show kept waffling and refused to pick a side until they thought the show was over 🤷🏻‍♀️ No matter what, ABC is gonna have an uphill battle keeping both casual viewers who were bored to tears by this season and were over Buck getting all the focus only to have zero payoff while sidelining everyone else (especially Bobby and Athena as that's who the older viewers are watching for), AND keeping the online fandom viewers who the finale managed to alienate HARD by saying we would rather tank any and all character growth and leave them with bland cardboard cutouts of women they have no chemistry with and we can't even tell you what any of them see in each other aside from the fact that Natalia thinks that Even "passively suicidal" Buckley nearly dying is "so freaking cool" as if that's not just a repeat of his parents and tay kay waiting to happen with him hurting himself to get/keep attention because he's not enough as he is.

ANYWAY. Manifesting the move to ABC and the time for the hiatus allows some decisions to be made regarding the direction for season 7, and that ABC will understand the gem they have on their hands with this cast and crew and will work to restore the show to it's previous glory.

[inchidentally]

god I wish xkit still had the inbox features - but I'm gonna screencap all the stuff under tricky asks and save them for later so I can see the fun asks and not have them get buried <3

gonna do a few of the more recent ones now and then from there bundle them every couple weeks!

I've mostly just fallen out of interest w the ship apart from the way I enjoy it (which isn't popular lol) for a few reasons but mostly the misogyny toward real life gfs. I still enjoy it for myself and I'm even writing it rn but I'm just not motivated to go crazy over it anymore <3

oh babe I'm a massive complainer about McLaren's new media approach meaning we don't get the fun, regular teammate content that we used to but truly there's no motive for actually keeping them apart! the carlando challenge was F1TV and I actually can't tell who pushed for the Oscar/Esteban RC car challenge but it makes sense bc they've chatted a fair amount during down time since Bahrain. I think there's a casual friendliness there.

but also this kind of cross-team content isn't unusual at all and tbh it's a coincidence that feels annoying mainly bc it coincides with McLaren sm deciding to go all slick edits rather than spontaneous and fun content.

and first anon if anything it felt like Oscar put himself in time out for well, actually slightly stalking Lando in the preseason and Bahrain kasgfkaflsagfslja I'm... mostly joking

oh listen, Carlos and Lando absolutely are friends - and I don't wanna jump down your throat if you're not saying they aren't - but don't get me wrong, I enjoy carlando for what it actually is and not the 'secretly in love/fucking/relationship/actually gay for each other' version. ironically the reality is a lot sweeter and more real than desperately ignoring everything about Carlos to pretend he's gay or to pretend that Lando and Carlos rank even in the top 100 of people closest to them. sorry but to me the reality of baby Lando latching onto Carlos for support in F1 and Carlos quite liking this funny little dude fluttering around him even when they have nothing but driving, golf and beautiful women in common - like, that's sweet to me!! sorry ?? it's the whole imprinted on each other but we wouldn't normally be friends thing that happens in these little brother/big brother scenarios.

the fact is tho that carlando is indeed a major popularity and engagement spinner for everyone from F1 official to sponsors to Lando and Carlos themselves, and they both know that hanging out and documenting it can serve two purposes at once. the Australia stuff was all probably a bit too cynical but they wouldn't do any of it if they didn't actually enjoy spending time together! plenty of these sports bromances do similar things it's just that of the F1 bromances, carlando caught on with the 1D rpf conspiracy theorist pipeline by ticking every box. you'd think they'd catch on that it's all the ones they're convinced are RealTM that end up flopping butttt

but yea I remember the ask linking to ppl saying that landoscar and charlos are PR and to this day it's like did they just want to face a deluge of constantly being proven wrong or ??? esp the fact that Charles and Carlos get absolutely zilch out of their dynamic this season (and forever after that) - especially Carlos who could easily decide to just be blandly polite to Charles and focus on buddying up to a hopeful new teammate if charlos was purely PR. even when they play it up, it's not cynical and they make it clear. but the way they've chosen to deal with this whole circus in a joint way is like damn. they're not besties or anything but they respect the fuck out of each other and talk a lot about how to deal with being friends and also teammates.

and landoscar literally has no bromance content, no fake gay, not even excessive touching or physical proximity, Oscar isn't remotely interested in being camera friendly, they don't document any of their time together when it's not official media, and they don't remotely play up to the cameras together. the ship literally exists bc two guys like to watch each other with sweet dopey smiles, they are on a freakishly similar wavelength, have immense respect for each other, Oscar has observed and learned Lando to almost worrying degrees, and Lando has no filter so when he keeps having horny verbal burps about Oscar's body that make the people around them uncomfortable or awkward - and that Oscar just blushes and giggles through. it's absolutely not planned or strategic bc what a horrible strategy to try and convince fans to ship them like carlando and dando askflgsajlgflaf.

like, everything about Lando and Oscar's real life dynamic and friendship is one of the few cases where they're categorically known to not cynically try to promote it for fans and they don't play up to the cameras for engagement. literally they like each other and get on well and it's just. like that !!

[roseworth]

hello it is the tangled fan back for more! I was thinking about how underrated cass and eugene's friendship is.

I think they understand each other more than they like to admit which is why they tend to butt heads. they both need to prove themselves at the castle and are very sure of themselves. I think eugene is annoying on purpose but he doesn't realize how much it actually hurts cass that he rose in importance so much compared to her stuck where she is. and cass doesn't understand how eugene has been living on the streets and this is really important for him. so they have to learn from each other, have to understand where the other person is coming from. and when things get dangerous, they do respect each other's strength and quick thinking and can work together.

I think part of why cass doesn't like eugene is because she was planning on catching flynn rider to prove to her dad that she's strong enough to fight. who better to catch than the man her dad hates the most, right? then his crimes get absolved and he's just hanging out in the castle and she resents him for taking her chance to prove herself. he got what she has been looking for her whole life. lots of potential character development with learning to let go of the past.

when cass betrays them there should've been some focus on how eugene is hurt because cass throws their progress back in his face. he wants to trust her but he just can't, he didn't grow up trusting people easily. he has to make an effort to forgive her, especially after seeing rapunzel so distraught and being mad on her behalf.

I think they shouldn't be 100% buddy-buddy like there should still be some rivalry and old grudges but hey that's life! also they're both dating rapunzel so they have to deal with each other or else the polycule falls apart

(sorry for the mini character study I just had to share this with someone who understands)

!!! ALL OF THIS!!!!! cass & eugene have such a fun dynamic since theyre both similar in personality but like exact opposite in everything else

like at first it makes soooo much sense that cass hates eugene bc not only is he annoying and will never go away. he also is there and sort of in charge of her (well. not necessarily "in charge" but hes the princess's boyfriend so he ends up getting some clout) just because he stumbled on what the entire kingdom had been looking for for 18 years, meanwhile she had been trying her whole life just to be taken seriously so obviously shes gonna be pissed off when he can come in and just do whatever he wants. not to mention he joined the guard just because he had nothing else to do even though cass had been trying to for years !!! and i looooooove your idea about her plan to catch flynn rider bc YES she would want that !!!!!!!!! she wants to do something to make her dad pay attention to her so catching the criminal is the best way to go. but then said criminal gets all his crimes pardoned and is also making her life a living hell just by existing. she should get to kill him

for eugene... i think he has less of a reason to dislike her other than that she was probably mean to him first and it just kinda kept spiraling (so funny. this is ideal) but also to him i feel like cass kinda represented everyone else in the kingdom in a way? like just because he brought rapunzel home hes not just suddenly Everyones Favorite Person so cass constantly being like "kys and leave my house" is sort of. voicing what everyone else is thinking.

and THEN theres the fact that their relationship goes from "bickering because they hate each other -> bickering like siblings -> uh oh now shes trying to kill them!" i just. ough. they liked each other and they were FRIENDS!! so it had to have been hard for him to see. all that. i dont think cass really thought about him at all bc she was focused on rapunzel BUT for eugene.... like you said he doesnt trust easily! so putting his trust in someone and having it broken HURTS. however. i honestly think that he would forgive her pretty easily afterwards. he loves giving people second chances given everything that happened to him so he would not have a problem forgiving her

actually side tangent there. sometimes i see people saying that its out of character for eugene to forgive cass in the finale but um. no. look at every single person hes friends with. i dont think hes drawing the line at cass's mommy issues. "but she tried to kill rapunzel!" ok?? so did varian but he and eugene still made an amber bazooka together after it happened. after she died saving the world i think he'd be fine with her

anyways all that to say. i agree! i love their friendship! i love them butting heads over the stupidest shit ever and i love both of them going out of their way to insult each other. sometimes i think about cass calling him "fitzherbjerk" and eugene seeing a dead snake fall out of the sky and going "friend of yours?" and. yeah. i just love them :')

[ac-liveblogs]

I accidentally deleted the more coherent ask so this is me trying to frantically remember what it said adjhgsj sorry in advance, I'm going to be unbearable abt Dan Feng for a bit <3

Dan Feng sounds like a hilarious clusterfuck. Dan Heng being screwed over by his actions being a purely backstory event kind of sucks, honestly.

It'd also have the nice bonus of introducing the hcq and why exactly you should care about them much more naturally, bc honestly if well executed their story could have made me cry lol I'm an easy crier. the way they did it just doesn't hit as hard as it should.

But Yes!! Dan Feng was SUCH a molotov cocktail of a person, it really is amazing. Identity issues electric bugaloo (with bonus body dysphoria and hallucinations!) + powers that make him dissociate the f out + trying desperately to ground himself by thinking abt his friends + the fact that in all his appearances he's ALWAYS with this permafrozen resting bitch expression. So when I read DH•IL's dreams of what Dan Feng was like as a person I immediately went "oh god the resting bitch face is a lie he's a fucking MESS" which was fun lmao. Sir that's not a dignified high elder that's millennia of trauma stuffed in knee-high boots and cool gloves

ALL THAT and it's mind-boggling that they just. poke it vaguely with a stick on-screen when there's all that cool stuff in the promos and stories?? "In different people's minds Dan Feng may have been an avatar of Long the dragon, a hero, or an immense evil, but never a person with feelings and emotions." that's great buddy how about you now SAY IT ON SCREEN. It even ties into his character story abt DF struggling to feel emotions through the dragon god mindset! It'd have been so easy!! ughh. I know this is a genshin staple, but belobog was rlly good at bringing up everyone's backstory in the quests so I thought hsr would be different :( here's hoping for penacony

Tbh XL's greatest sin is, imo, always focusing on the exact wrong thing. The High Cloud Quintet isn't explained until way after the fact, we learn what Dan Feng did too late and why that mattered too late… BLADE… etc. etc. We did get a lot of focus on the Hunt vs the Abundance, but I kinda wish Dan Feng's sin had been tied into that more solidly than it was

I've been thinking a lot abt how I'd do it, bc I'd also want to do the DF vs DH fight ichor of two dragons style, but trying to put it in Dan Heng realising that the narrative abt DF that he was taught is a lie at the same time he's trying to establish himself as his own person could muddy it up a bit... but it Would have to be at the story's climax...hmmmm. How would you do it?

According to the judges DF craved the power of abundance but I have a hard time believing them when they fed so much bullshit to poor Dan Heng like

Dan Heng: I was initially kept in the Shackling Prison after reincarnating, and received a thorough education on that person's life and crimes. According to the judges, Dan Feng craved the power of abundance and created abominations, therefore as his reincarnation, I had to bear his punishment. As for what kind of person he really was... to be honest with you, I can't be certain either.

According to Vidyadhara custom and the agreement made with Caelorum Venti Dan Heng was SUPPOSED to leave Dan Feng's sin behind w his reincarnation, so excuse me if I give a side-eye to the rest of what they say lmfao. So much hope for more luofu so we can go and punch the dragon-elf elders instead..

I had SO much fun in the Arlan-Asta quest, Herta being the annoying boss caught me completely by surprise even though it rlly shouldn't have jshgdjs

*squints* it's a stupid hour and I just came from a writing binge and 24 hours w no sleep so hopefully this is coherent lol, I probably got some of the lore wrong. Your long asks are always so nice and clear how do you do it?

Haha np, I delete responses to asks and whole entire posts by accident all the time…. (clicky back button on the side of my mouse my beloathed)

It'd also have the nice bonus of introducing the hcq and why exactly you should care about them much more naturally, bc honestly if well executed their story could have made me cry lol I'm an easy crier. the way they did it just doesn't hit as hard as it should.

I think what gets me is, like. It would've been easy enough to do it? It's beyond me why Blade never just… attacked Dan Heng prior to their team-up. It would've been a good way to establish his beef with DH AND, if Kafka's present, that she a) has hypnotism powers and b) uses them to control Blade outside of … that one scene where he just quietly sits in a room and Kafka promises she's doing something interesting. Also like. The effects mara can have on someone outside of Blade and Jingliu promising they're definitely affected and having ~scary eyes in their Ults.

And obviously, I get that whatever Luocha was doing was a set-up for later, but having Jingliu show up just to go to prison… that's four separate factions each with one of the HCQ and most of them with different goals. You'd THINK that would be A Thing? A big dramatic showdown? The four can meet up again afterwards to get drinks because despite everything they're still friends?

Genshin has poisoned me against reading character bios if I can help it (just look how annoyed I got after reading DH and Blade's!) so I hadn't read DH:IL's until just now, but… you're so right lmao??? How come the most I ever learnt about Dan Feng was from Jingliu's melancholic loredump? The elder ghosts bitch about him, sure, but?? On-screen drama?? That one trailer?? Did HYV think that supplemental material was enough to avoid writing the hard part???

(Unironically I think that's it. The Herta Space Station and Belobog were VERY simple. Stuff like Blade and DH are much harder to get right so, characteristic of HYV's writing over in Genshin, they've avoided it as much as possible by relegating it to trailer animations, bios and Jingliu's lore dump.)

I've been thinking a lot abt how I'd do it, bc I'd also want to do the DF vs DH fight ichor of two dragons style, but trying to put it in Dan Heng realising that the narrative abt DF that he was taught is a lie at the same time he's trying to establish himself as his own person could muddy it up a bit… but it Would have to be at the story's climax…hmmmm. How would you do it?

Complicated question. Running on the assumption that we are returning to the Luofu, or at least will be dealing with Luofu-based characters again at a later point in the story, you probably don't WANT to have wrapped up too much of Dan Heng's potential growth by the third world, right?

So if anything, I'd want him to be more unsure of himself prior to canon so that you can get more development (and types of interactions with others he used to know) out of him during the actual game. Assuming that you will return to the Luofu later, or at least run into most of those characters again (based on the alliance with XL and Trailblazer not having The Hunt yet), I'd probably base it like this:

1) Pre-canon: Dan Heng genuinely isn't sure who he is or how to feel about what he knows of his past. He's pretty sure he's meant to be his own person, but he was never treated that way, lived his life on the Luofu in Dan Feng's shadow and, most damningly, has flashes of Dan Feng's memories every now and then but has no context for what they mean. Also Blade seems pretty sure. And as you say - the High Elders still holding him responsible for Dan Feng's actions, alleged or otherwise, may have caused some damage. He's only one of the Nameless to get away from Blade/his past, basically.

2) First visit to Luofu: Dan Heng learns exactly who Dan Feng was, what he did/why and meets the High Cloud Quintet. You should be able to use Blade and Jing Yuan at the very least to get some Identity Drama and add more stakes to figuring out DF's deal outside of Dan Heng's own feelings. Doesn't necessarily come to a conclusion but is more informed. Meet Bailu etc.

3) Second visit to Luofu: Ichor of the Two Dragons goes here as the climax of some plot where Dan Heng definitively rejects Dan Feng and affirms his own identity. Spending time on the Express helped him figure out who he was/what he wanted and such. Dan Heng cleans up what he can and moves on from the Luofu. He stays on the Express because he loves the crew/for his own reasons, not just to run from his past, something like that.

I think you could pace out other characters' development connected to DH along these stages as well - particularly Blade and Bailu. The result of 3) should be Blade absolutely losing it once he realises Dan Feng really is dead (and whatever that might mean for him which then leads into Dan Heng having to resolve THAT situation in a Dan Heng-way (not necessarily on the Luofu, but around or afterwards), as well as wrapping up Bailu's storyline (which hopefully involves punching some elderly dragon-elves).

It'd also be fun to have a window of time to squeeze a little tension out of March 7th and Dan Heng - because, like, as far as March who wants to know who she was is concerned, a whole world that knows all about Dan Feng AND a bunch of DF's old friends and acquaintances being able to fill in the blanks… that's the dream for her, right? Meanwhile for Dan Heng this is all one big turbo nightmare and he'd be much happier with a clean break and no need to ever come back. Maybe there's some jealousy on both sides there. Trailblazer awkward go-between.

I had SO much fun in the Arlan-Asta quest, Herta being the annoying boss caught me completely by surprise even though it rlly shouldn't have jshgdjs

RIGHT??? For some reason I thought Arlan was having trouble saying no to PEPPY (dog too cute, can't refuse giving peppy too many treats) but then. Herta. OBVIOUSLY

squints it's a stupid hour and I just came from a writing binge and 24 hours w no sleep so hopefully this is coherent lol, I probably got some of the lore wrong. Your long asks are always so nice and clear how do you do it?

Hopefully you got some sleep!!! And uh. I don't know. I naturally ramble a lot and have to trim myself down. My response to how I'd handle DH up there is my third draft and the original was several much longer paragraphs. I'm trying to work on readability… I still need to get better at it, but glad it's helping!(?)

[lil228]

Red White and Royal Blue Notes Day 1

WARNING: Spoilers for both the Red White and Royal Blue movie and the book up to chapter 5

I think it’s funny that Alex’s love story is referred to as Shakespearean considering what’s to come. 

“It’s funny how you think everything is about you” (page 14). Lol- especially bc he’s the literal main character of this story.  

“Systematically drunk” (15) LOL

“Mutual antagonists” (17) 

“Sorry I’m not obsessed with you like everyone else” (18). Oh buddy that’ll change soon. (Alex about Henry)

OMG that whole conversation is so good!

Cakegate is really funny for some reason.

“As the president all I want is to have the CIA fake your death, and ride the dead kid sympathy into a second term.” (23) I see where Alex gets it from. 

The foreshadowing! Like Zarah telling Alex to gush about Henry like he’s his prom date.  

“I’ll do it but I won’t have any fun” (Alex) “God, I hope not.” (Zarah 27) HAH! Alex is going to have fun, maybe too much fun.

Look I know Alex thinks it’s nerdy but if someone told me Great Expectations was their favorite book I would like them even more. 

Ugh! the foreshadowing in this is just so good like when Nora speculate on why Alex has to sign an NDA and one of the reason she give is that he’s (the prince) is Gay. Lol (page 39)

Lol Alex being unable to decide if he Texan or Mexican side is more upset about English Breakfast (page 41)

Foreshadowing- Alex says Henry is “annoyingly attractive (43)

  I don’t know if being an English major broke me or if I’m a mega nerd, but I want to write a literary analysis paper on this so badly.  

Alex’s reasoning for wanting to get into politics is so wholesome (43)

Henry’s interaction with the caner patient is so cute (45)!

“You’re not the prince of me” (47). It’s just so good. Has this author written anything else? Please tell me they have. OMG they have! I will be needing all of their books now thank you very much.

“Are you trying to psycho analyzed me?” (49) lol, I feel like I say a variation of the this all the time when I’m with my psych major friend.

“I’m sensing an ellipsis (Henry) “It’s just…” (Alex) 51. This book sort of dose that thing that White Teeth did where it’s aware that it’s a novel, but it doesn't do it the same way. It’s more subtle and uses more irony.

 Okay Alex and Henry bonding over Star Wars is sweet and kind of nerdy. I like it. 

“But isn’t there something to be valued in a happy ending as well?” (52)

Alex taking a class called The Press and The Presidency is absolutely hilarious to me. 

That one commenter ships it (55)

“B*tch McConnell- I’m dying homygod 

Like Senator Luna, I to can be easily bribed with candy

More foreshadowing on 57. Also I don’t know why but I’m not getting good vibes from Senator Luna

Old money Sith powers also has me dying

The president of united states comparing her children to possums is so funny. 

Also her reminding her children to not discuss their murder plots in front of her

Ugh this book is so good! 

“Leeme romance the hell out of some focus groups” (66) This book is gold 

  The text exchange on 68-9 is amazing

I can only hope to write something this amazing one day.

Nora asking Alex if he’s reading fanfiction about himself made me laugh out loud- at work, granted it’s deader than Marley in this place today

The whole bit with the Turkey is just glorious! Ya did it to yourself Alex.

The way Henry talks to his dog is so cute, and so it the fact that he watches The Great British Bake Off 

Amy’s great!

Page 90- Yes Alex go off!

I love Bea, she’s great, peak sister energy

June is also peak sister energy. 

95- more foreshadowing when June talks about it being like a rom com

“You know I love chaos” (Nora)- 96

I think its really sweet that Henry wants to be a writer 

107- the first kiss! (Squeals)

[plutothe-pup]

hello. pip obviously! piplo! moon donkey! greg/nemo!!

I accept no arguments for these take them as you will.

Pip: 78. If Walls Could Talk - 5 Seconds of Summer

Some things are meant to be secret and not to be heard So if I tell you, just keep it and don't say a word Yeah, when the doors are all closin', it's bound to get loud 'Cause all these bodies are hoping to get addicted to sound If these walls could talk I'd hope they wouldn't say anything Because they've seen way too many things 'Cause we'd fall from grace, we're falling Yeah, we'd fall from grace If these walls could talk

Now I know what you're saying. This song is about people shacking up. Yes. It's also hinting at keeping your mouth closed and 'Pip's the gossip Queen' yes yes, but hear me out. He's out here airing everyone else's dirty laundry, but always trying to keep his own under wraps, and quite frankly I think it's just the irony of the cycle. Plus I think if there's one thing Pip might not want to be the talk of the town it's whatever messy 'romance' he's got going on rn. The real romance (his crushes, his kisses with Jeremy, etc) not the fake projected stuff. Plus it's a banger.

Piplo: 2. Bad Omens - 5 Seconds of Summer

I cried in your dark brown eyes for the thousandth time 'Cause you love somebody I died when you left that night for the thousandth time 'Cause you love somebody else I tried to stop the door as it was closing It was closing Can't help the way I keep ignoring every omen Every omen Heaven knows I should let go It's nothing that I don't already know

We go 'round again, we jump back in bed That's what you do when you love somebody These bad omens, I look right through them That's what you do when you love somebody

Tell me this song ain't them. Again, we have to ignore the 5SOS banging themes, and instead redirect to the fact that PIP HAD ZERO REASON TO LET THIS STRANGE MAN STAY IN HIS HOUSE. HE IS A WALKING RED FLAG. Not to mention that every time that Milo has done something stupid, Pip might get upset. Might get mad. But then he just forgives. Moves on. CAN'T HELP THE WAY I KEEP IGNORING EVERY OMEN.

Buddy just ignoring his gut feeling about housing a criminal murder because - that's what you do when you love somebody. (else)

Moon Donkey: 43. Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own - U2

I'm not going to list all the lyrics I find fitting because there's a lot. Like 80% of the song.

This is one of my favorite U2 songs (obviously bc it's on here) but I would call it a Moon Donkey song too. It's one of those songs that's about wanting to help someone you love but feeling helpless to do so - which sometimes (...more than sometimes) I feel like Jun and Greg feel, even if they don't realize they're helping each other much more passively than they think. Just the act of them being together and supporting each other does more than words or actions, because truly sometimes you can't make it on your own and you just need a FRAND.

Technically this is the version that is on my wrapped so - you get that one.

Greg/Nemo:

Ooh. This one was HARD - mostly because Greg and Nemo are more of a background established relationship than anything else and also because of my SONG CHOICES. Hm.

I will give them...

47.Starting Line - Luke Hemmings.

In and out of focus, moments that I keep Something for the pain and something so I sleep Won't you comfort me? Warm the air that I breathe Visceral in doses, hiding in the seams Standing on the sun and I don't feel a thing Won't you comfort me? Take the fear I don't need

I wake up every morning with the years ticking by I'm missing all these memories, maybe they were never mine I feel the walls are closin', I'm running out of the time I think I missed the gun at the starting line

Tell me, am I broken? I can never leave Biting on my tongue and checking if it bleeds Oh, is it lost on me? All the things I believe Something like an omen I can never keep Moving on and on, so very bittersweet Is it lost on me? All the things I don't need

I feel like it just encompasses a struggle that they both kind of go through together (but separately), and don't actually discuss. The feeling of not being good enough. Not working hard enough. Not doing enough. The ongoing struggle of being left behind in a lot of aspects of life.

[sebbyomg]

INSIDE EVAN BUCKLEY'S PHONE (eddie's)

(templates under the cut)

(social media pack)

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[extasiswings]

scream you dont need to reply to this but i cant message bc we aren't mutuals but i just wanted to say thank you for your hot takes abt the *** article-- i didnt read it bc i know it would just piss me off more BUT seeing the ripples through the fandom (right before a new episode we are excited for nonetheless) had me back in to see what people were saying and yeah, it's just nice to come here and see you calling it like it is :)

You’re welcome! I’m just—*sigh*

The thing is, I knew this was going to be a shitshow. That’s why I preemptively started making posts about it days ago as soon as we heard an article would be forthcoming. And I was prepared to roll my eyes and be frustrated and annoyed at the inevitable pessimistic doomsday despairing. What I wasn’t anticipating was the level of upset from my fellow queer folks, not about the implication (because we’re all still Buddie canon truthers) but because of the rhetoric. And I get it, I do, because it’s incredibly hurtful to have your lived experiences dismissed out of hand, to have someone reiterate the same sort of thing that many of us have had people say or assume about our own identities and relationships and feelings—that our experiences are invalid, that we’re confused, that we don’t actually know what we want or what we’re seeing—the sort of will-they-won’t-they “it’s all just platonic and you’re reading into it” lines that get bandied about so readily for non-canon het couples come with a certain amount of baggage when placed in the context of non-canon queer couples. Because it inadvertently steps into a very particular strain of queer pain. And straight people just…do not get that. The fact that it isn’t intentional doesn’t make it hurt less, but they don’t, and I do think it’s worth acknowledging that. And I also think it’s worth acknowledging that as much as we as fans don’t have a blueprint for this situation (a slow burn non-canon queer ship going canon), neither do the showrunners.

That said, I also do think it is incredibly important for everyone to be aware of the myriad issues involved in this piece. It was written by someone who has a very well-known agenda of trying to claim the show is terrible about queer rep (blatantly false) and queerbaiting (also not true) and is extremely aggressive, combative, and unprofessional in interviews while trying to make that point. We don’t know the questions he asked, or how many questions he asked, or how he went about asking them. We don’t know if the quotes that were published were part of a longer response, and we don’t even know if they were the first response—it is entirely possible that initial answers were more polite/vague/cagey and he pushed and pushed and pushed until he got a soundbite that he could use to paint them in the worst light possible (and when someone is baiting you by asking the same thing over and over and you can’t get specific, yeah, you’re going to get frustrated and say things you don’t mean—and maybe we don’t know for a fact that’s what happened here, but based on prior experience, particularly re the tone and questions of the post-finale interview where he explicitly accused Tim of queerbaiting, it seems likely). So basically…all that to say, I think everyone’s feelings are valid, but I also think it’s worth directing the anger and hurt to the right places—to the person who manipulated the situation specifically for this result for clout and to serve a personal agenda. That’s my two cents.

(Also, as a reminder, this wasn’t the piece they signed up for either—it was just supposed to be a standard PR piece for 5x11 and he asked extra questions because there was time. It wasn’t the focus of the interview and wasn’t necessarily something they were prepared to discuss)

[bellshazes]

(Spoilers for dl session 3)

My personal favourite part of bdubs’ title is the fact that Etho does the bare minimum to “take care of him” in the episode, I was half expecting they’d run away together but no Etho just gets Joel to babysit bdubs and then fails to fishing rod rescue him out of the cow pit??? And that’s what bdubs chooses to focus on with his title and thumbnail??? I wish I understood him

I literally don't know what to do with his etho obsession anymore. We got he loves me in LL. I'm always insane abt their multiple jokes that span over a decade. everyone knows he's like theeee ethogirl originale. he rubs his happy marriage in ethos face in DL and then immediately says "I want Etho" while planning to homewreck as a survival strategy because allying with someone you're not soul bound is better if their other half hates you....? this does not stop him from spreading lies ABOUT ETHO because love is stored in ruining your friends alliances. etho moves into his basement in another world and he has to stop himself from saying obviously it's yours before he's like told etho officially he doesn't mind and then locks him in there while beginning to institute a new government, the king of which lives upstairs. back to the world where he offers etho a bed to sleep with him and his soulmate (who is not etho), he makes his episode about etho for the second time in a row and then gaybaits the title which when played reveals he's like extremely content to play the helpless child because "ethos taking care of me" is literally "ethos calls me short and forces his soulmate to babysit me and I pretend to be both their nephews for the bit" while, presumably, he still intends to split them up. so that etho will come sleep with him I am not exaggerating he said that with his real human mouth.

and ethos pathetic fucking rescue attempt as you said which ALSO parallels MULTIPLE occasions etho has used fishing rod pillar kills to help bdubs out of death game problems the earlier of which was the last time bdubs built basically the exact same house. do not get me started on the snowfort stairs. and the way they were most ride or die but never did go red together bc they never ever considered giving up the fun of pretending they would betray each other to admit to being the boogeyman or not truthfully even tho a coordinated kill+assist team would have been crazy.

the only explanation is what we already knew which is they are low key obsessed with each other. in that they don't technically have to be each others focus 100% of the time but if they don't have some fucked up weirdo dynamic neither of them will fully explain to one another or their audience bc you're supposed to just vibe with it. makes me so fucking sick I can't stand it I don't know whats got into him lately was it the hiatus or what but every little crumb he's like yeah this is my buddy. look at him being [actually incomprehensible relationship status thats never the same twice??????????] to me or I'll blow this whole fucking place up (on accident)

[ryansjane]

they're scared of success cause tbh not me is so much better than bb, yeah bb it's cute and all that but not me goes deeper without losing the bl part, i honestly think it could have been so big internationally, like the scene with the flag is So Important, but i guess it's what you said, the issues we see in the show could have caused gmm problems... STILL i would have died for everyone to watch not me, it's a show that deserves to be watched all around the world and it's a blueprint for future bls

lmaooooooo pls why would you say that anon, I'm gonna catch HEAT again :'))) but yeah absolutely agree, I've said times & times again that bb is p'aof's worst show bc the second half of the show is literally so mediocre & the ending is the least satisfying ending I've ever seen coupled with maybe tonhon chonlatee. on top of gmmtv clearly wanting not me to not be too big which I talked about, there's also the issue of not me not fitting in with the average bl audience. like for me it's clear that the bl shows that get huge are all university bls with new pairings at the time of release: 2gether, sotus, why r u, bad buddy, love by chance, etc. I think the fact that not me has so much more going on that romance also deterred people from watching it bc if you like bl you like silly mlm romcoms & if you like action & political dramas usually you probably don't like it to contain love stories. so not me falling right in the middle of that makes it so it satisfies people who love both (me) but not necessarily the average bl viewer who just wants cute moments with barely any substance, let's be honest. the only other mature shows that got bigger than it were trapped, which focused way more on romance & had barely any action, and now the upcoming kinnporsche that has this super mature aspect but the show clearly looks like it'll be WAY more focused on the romantic & sexual aspect of the characters than not me (which, let’s be honest, is what most people are excited about.) so for me, any bl show that doesn't focus at the very least 70% on romance will get the same disappointing reaction from the general public, which sucks bc everyone who watches not me LOVES the show. so like, will I be forever bitter that not me, by far the most important thai show of all time, didn't get nearly the love it deserved?? absolutely. is there anything I can do about it when I've been promoting the show relentlessly on the platforms I have??? no. the bl audience & gmmtv failed this show, what do you want me to say...

xxx

[beyondd-dazedd]

EPISODE👏 REVIEW👏 hsmtmts season 2 episode 10: get ready for some enthusiastic writing and a little too much looking into details

first off seb doing the intro made my heart happy i love him

ok i know everyone has been saying it but there is no way in hell they’re winning the menkies. unless the writers just go with the main character favoritism route, there’s just no way. however for the sake of comedy, watching ashlyn give us everything in the transformation scene and ricky being an absolute disaster is SO funny to me. like shout out to joshua because that scene made me laugh so hard. also a trio i need more of is kourt, red and ej. i just feel like they would be dramatic gossipy bitches and i love that for them.

normally i think ms. jenn’s reactions are over the top but after seeing the shit show that just occurred 2 mins before... i think her reaction is very valid because oh god.

continuing with the theme of friendship dynamics we haven’t seen a lot of but we absolutely need more of, ashlyn and ricky!! that scene was so sweet and wholesome. i’m so so so glad the writers didn’t fall into the trap of making characters take sides after a break up. i just feel like it’s been done a million times before. but seeing ashlyn being so genuine when checking up in ricky made me so happy. the caswells remain being the superior characters (including gina obvs)

ms. jenn and mr. mazzarra are cute don’t get me wrong but they should’ve spent more time developing that relationship instead giving ms. jenn like 3 random love interests and that’s all i’ll say on that.

i love imagining what characters are saying when they’re just ad libbing. like what could ej, gina, ricky and red be talking about before carlos shows up to start the scene?? my guess is they’re all gushing about how amazing ash is and no i don’t take criticisms on that.

alright i’ll say it. the seblos drama is weak at best. they didn’t spend enough time developing it and kind of pushed it to the background so when it was one of the main focuses of the episode it was kind of like ok?? HOWEVER i did love the resolution to it and the deeper look into their individual characters. (i’ll talk more about this later)

carlos calling ms. jenn mother and everyone immediately knowing who he was talking about sent me omfg. but also who the fuck let these high schoolers try to figure out this transformation scene by themselves?? they collectively have 2 brain cells and they just bounce around between the 9 of them depending on the scene. but playful sleepover competition!! also gina nudging ej when he goes a little too ej 1.0 was everything.

i hate lily and i love sassy red. that’s all.

(im going to talk about the boys/girls sleepovers like they’re each one continuous scene respectively because it’s way easier than switching back and forth)

fun new friendship dynamics!! the boys!! sebbie and the girls! iconic. i know that the show is meant to be in a mockumentary style so we only see parts of the characters lives but i would give my left arm to see the boys getting closer and becoming friends. this is also the first scene where i really noticed ricky’s shirt. ricky is queer disney are just cowards. i’m not a big ricky/ ej shipper but the pretty boy had me feeling some type of way. carlos being worried about seb and their relationship and then red being like well this is why. bc he’s got a spy on the inside was peak friendship. but seriously disney?? just say gay. it’s not a bad word. now imma freak out about PORTWELL OMFG I WAS ALREADY FREAKING OUT DURING THIS SCENE SO YOU CAN IMAGINE HOW WELL I WAS DOING LATER ON. but ej just being like im not ready to put myself out there because of nini i don’t wanna get rejected... again. my heart went out to him. you can really see how much he’s grown as a person. but sure ej y’all are “buddies” also him saying the one thing i’m proud of from my time with nini was letting her go and ricky’s reaction to that hurt me to my core.

alright let’s talk about the girls and seb. first off i love that they’re actually working and the boys are doing fuck all LOL. seb actually talking about how he feels?? good for him. i hate that he thinks that carlos is only with him because there’s limited options but at least he’s talking about it. a moment of silence for ash’s scissor bucket (i won’t make a gay joke. i won’t make a gay joke. i won’t-) anyways... i really thought that maybe ash would know about portwell but it’s fucking EVERYONE. like y’all are that perceptive about other peoples relationships but not your own?? that’s why all y’all have relationship drama. gina not wanting to put herself out there because she’s afraid of getting hurt?? ouch. gina thinking ej is just being nice?? ouch but also gina, sis?? what. also nini reacting that way to the chocolates is so out of pocket. like 1) y’all aren’t dating anymore so what’s got you so pressed? 2) gina made it clear that they weren’t actually from ricky 3) nini you know they had some sort of chemistry before you and ricky got back together so this really shouldn’t be that surprising.

anyways the scene with ricky and carlos broke me. the decision for ricky to not show nini the song was so mature. despite wanting to get her back, he KNOWS that that would only drag her back and that’s not fair to her and he knows it. but his awareness of seblos’s relationship and wanting to help carlos work things out with seb was so wholesome and so sweet and is kind of a big moment of character development for him this season. like he was generally very selfish this season (again i’m a ricky apologist til the day i die but he was so selfish) and seeing him take the focus away from his problems to help carlos out was so sweet. also i need more ricky/carlos friendship moments.

kourt talking about howie learning her love language?? bitch you mean espionage?? i mean me too but that’s so fucking funny

ALRIGHT THIS IS THE PARAGRAPH WHERE I SCREAM ABOUT PORTWELL!!! i am so so so so happy right now about this. the fact that ej asked about risotto but for real was so satisfying and was blatantly like him saying i know we faked being in a relationship but what about it not being fake and omfg that’s so amazing. also gina being skeptical and asking if ash put him up to it and him saying not that i know of?? THE PARALLELS?? also gina this whole season has been talking about signs and finding reasons to stay, finding signs to know if someone is right for her and you can literally see the moment she realizes she said the same thing about the duke sweatshirt to jack. SHE KNOWS THIS IS HER SIGN and that’s so special to me. also ej’s nervous laugh after she says yes?? omfg. let’s look at ej’s character. historically he’s confident, cocky and generally puts on this facade of having his shit together but gina makes him nervous (in a good way). he doesn’t feel like he has to pretend to be confident around her. he’s showing her that he’s just as nervous as she is about this and that is just *chefs kiss* honestly not to be an andi mack stan but ej’s little nervous chuckle and ok after she says yes sounds like he’s letting out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding which seriously parallels tj after the tyrus confession. i’m just saying. ALSO GINA’S LITTLE EXCITED WALK BACK TO THE GROUP AHHHHHH

the seblos song?? i have no notes. it was incredible. frankie killed that shit. it was such a good song. so sweet. so wholesome. also ricky and carlos’s hug was so fucking meaningful to both of them and you can tell. ricky was absolutely beaming because he helped the two of them and it feels like a little bit of season 1 ricky shining through.

WHO THE FUCK LET A BUNCH OF HIGH SCHOOLERS RIG A KID IN THE AIR COMPLETELY UNSUPERVISED?? of course ricky fucking fell. that group shares 2 brain cells. obviously some dumb shit was going to happen

[am-artist]

the wilds s2 e7 girls!! we are close to the end and i am close to the end of my rope

the fact they let gretchen twist these kids’ trauma into making them listen to her is so fucking sick! where is nora! what horrifying thing are we going to learn about seth!

wow the child casting is so good on this show

happy montage is way too happy what’s happening now. oh mommy abandonment issues? oh child self-harm lovely. well was expecting worse as the SA backstory but here we are

what’s so good with the girls is they all have their ups and downs / moments where they step up for the team. also this is rachel’s season i love her & her fucking self-determination.

fatin it must be said has also been flawless team mom the whole season.

seth needs a jumpscare at this point

of course seth is the #nice guy hung up on a girl friend dating someone else. please tell me he does not assault her while shes drunk.

fatin’s kanken backpack still holding up bless

kirin and josh’s friendship is good, but kirin’s mentality is a bit screwy and the influence is 50/50 good and bad. toxic masculinity is a bitch is the moral here. nice job gang.

poor fucking henry trying to passively coast through the entire mess on the island

seth and henry’s home dynamic is so specific and weird. not really feeling the focus on seth’s nice boy act. and since back home he has the girl and whatever now im expecting some other drama to unravel him enough to land in therapy with gretchen.

god seth makes me so uncomfortable with the buddy buddy look at me im so nice act. show some contrition or honesty jesus. you assaulted someone!!!! theres no reset button asshole!!!!

rachel being that girl once more. she gets through to leah. she gets through to toni. she gets through to herself.

just now connecting dots to dot’s dad and martha….. yeah ow

me @ seth when hes talking to henry: stay away from her! get a job!

even more so because seth clearly has a hand in this island bullshit so hes just! letting it happen! fuckkkk him!! so hard!!!!

why are we all moving on from this assault so casually gang. seth has to fucking psychologically admit to it at some point. yes his stance is logical but i feel like they should still make him face his actions not just circle around them via niceties.

oh hes going to do something insane to the boyfriend isnt he.

OH THE FUCKING CAT

leah bi confirmed thru her crush list babey

i have mixed feelings about shoni this season

well there goes the haircut. shelby’s bangs and wig are bad.

is there a second mole on the girls’ island??? i forget if this has been established before.

i feel for raf so bad bc hes got one singular friend who brought him into the fold & who he wants to help but that friend is a fucking piece of shit.

GOD seth’s complete refusal to act anything but jocularly normal is driving me insane.

ok well it’s driving everyone else insane too apparently! thank you showrunners.

oh yeah full abusive obsessive #nice guy it checks out. still not connecting the dots with what made him assault josh but the whole vibe is cohesively terrible. henry has it right.

oh my god gretchen shut the fuck up this guy needed an actual therapist not your enabling ass

honestly i keep saying this but she’s such a failure this whole experiment is such a flop. her dumbass justification is so stupid. terf logic

oh my god THIS random guy who knows leah??? are you joking

as stupid as it is gretchen’s awful son being her downfall would be just satisfying enough to be appreciable

[rawmeanderson]

pretty please ― thursday.

ft. Kevin Hayes.

plot: with Kevin, Brady, and Jimmy all gone from New York and the new season about to start, everyone gets together for a long weekend. warnings: swearing, drinking, mentions of anxiety/depression. word count: 4.9k notes: this is a slight AU I suppose, in the sense that the pandemic doesn’t exist here bc escapism, y’know? basically, this takes place in August 2020, where there was no pause and the season ended normally. also, this is kind of forgetting the fact that Kevin, Brady, and Jimmy didn’t live together during the last season they were all together in New York but whatever. Y/N is also plus sized!! title is from Pretty Please by Dua Lipa. there’s also more notes at the end!

Rain was hitting the windshield, the sky gloomy and grey as leaves on the trees outside the car. At least the weather was playing into your mood.

“Last time I checked, this was the only rain we’re supposed to get all weekend thankfully,” Sophie said from the driver’s seat as she adjusted the speed of the wiper blades. When she glances at you, you force a slight smile, nodding in acknowledgement. She looks like she wants to say something else but doesn’t, and you turn your head to look out the window.

The dread and disinterest swimming in your stomach, the car ride that seemed to go on endlessly reminded you of all the times your mother had driven you to your dad’s during the summers. You’d sat in the passenger seat then just like you are now, anxious, irritated, and on the verge of begging her to turn around.

You hadn’t wanted to come on this trip, knowing it was meant to be a last hurrah of sorts. Thursday to Sunday at a lake with friends sounded great in theory, but the changes that would be happening in the weeks that followed were what scared you. The finality of it all.

“I’m glad you decided to come, Y/N,” Sophie told you, and you could feel her glance at you again. She had been your roommate for almost 10 years now, since the start of college, and she knew you were doing your best not to spiral. 

You opened your mouth, then closed it again, opting to nod like you had earlier as your gaze drifted to your lap. Running your tongue along your teeth, you tried to think of something to say that would ease the tension in the vehicle. Un-crossing your legs, you shift in your seat slightly as you hear Sophie exhale a quiet sigh through her nose.

She knows your feelings aren’t personal, that you’re not blaming her for moving on with her life, but your general sadness about all of it weighed on her either way. She was right there, but that didn’t stop the preemptive pangs of loneliness that hit your stomach.

In the last two years, every person you’d spent most of your time with had left New York, until Sophie was the last one. And in two weeks, you’d be the only one left, leaving you feeling as grey and sad as the weather outside.

After chewing on the inside of your cheek for a while, you pick a piece of invisible lint off the fabric of your shorts. You’d meant to buy new ones before the trip since most of your pants cut into your waist anymore, fueling your self-consciousness. “I’ll...I’m sure I’ll feel a little better once we’re there and I’ve been able to take a nap,” you tell her, trying your best to sound optimistic about it. Blaming your bad mood and distantness on being tired, classic.

Sophie glanced at you and nodded, accepting what you’d said despite knowing you as well as she does.

It would’ve been hard to argue about it, considering you’d both been up before 5am to make this 4 hour drive. You’d left the city around 6, the car packed with the bags for the weekend, plus a good number of totes of Sophie’s stuff for Jimmy to take back to Buffalo with him. There was still about an hour left in the drive, and the iced coffee you’d chugged at the start of the drive had done nothing but make your heart race soar as you fidgeted in your seat.

Sophie had always been the early bird, with the two of you poised to be some of the first people to arrive at the lake. Jimmy and one of his buddies had gotten there last night, with everyone else slated to show up in the early afternoon. The only reason you’d agreed to leave so early was because Sophie promised to let you nap as long as you wanted once you got there. You were grateful that would allow you to avoid people for a while.

For what was left of the drive, Sophie didn’t speak, letting you sit there in your tired sadness as music hummed through the speakers.

When you parked at the massive cabin overlooking a lake that stretched as far as you could see, it was still raining. The sky was just as grey, and it gnawed at you, the perfect cinematic backdrop for what felt like the beginning of the end.

Your mood was sour, and as you unfastened your seatbelt to exit the car, you felt goosebumps rise along your skin even though it was warm out despite the rain. The same worry you’d had the whole drive was still swirling through your head, that your mood and your emotions would put a damper on the trip. You hoped that a nap would help calm those fears.

Jimmy was already on his way out to greet you and Sophie, his smile fixed on your roommate as you open the back door to grab your bag. He approaches with a grin as you’re already making your way toward the cabin. 

“Take any room you want,” he tells you, like he already knows that you’re going for a nap. You salute him in acknowledgement, deciding to greet him better later as he continues on to greet his girlfriend.

Your shirt is covered in raindrops by the time you get inside, glancing around curiously. There’s a couple of people hanging out on the sofas that you don’t recognize, but they wave to you either way then go back to their conversation.

After wandering down the hall, you nudge open a door and decide that the room is good enough. There’s a window looking out over the lake, and even as grouchy and sad as you’re feeling, you know it’ll be a gorgeous view when it’s not so gloomy outside. You close the door behind you and unceremoniously drop your bag on the floor while kicking off your shoes. Collapsing into the middle of the bed, you sigh, running on auto pilot as you pull the blankets over yourself. 

Shifting around slightly, you’re aware of how the shorts are cutting into your waist and your bra is pinching somewhere, but you’re too settled to do anything about it as you stare up at the wood paneled ceiling. The sound of the rain hitting the roof is soothing, and you let out a breath that seemed to have been held since the moment you got in the car.

Your eyes trace the woodgrain, remembering when Sophie told you about Jimmy’s roommates shortly after she got with him, that they were funny, cool guys that she knew you’d get along with. You’d partied with them first, but it turned into movie nights, casual dinners, enjoying the group of newfound friends that you saw several times a week. With how often you ended up hanging out late or bar hopping in their area, the guest room had practically been designated as yours.

Then Kevin was traded to Winnipeg. Then Jimmy was traded to Buffalo. Then Brady was traded to Carolina. Your found family in the city had practically dissolved within a year, and now Sophie was two weeks away from moving to Buffalo.

You knew there was little choice in the matter for anyone really, that it wasn’t their fault, that it was just how worked, but it still hurt, remembering you’d be the last one of the group in New York. You had other friends that you saw every so often, but it didn’t stop how lonely it all made you feel. Being sad about it made you feel selfish, so you buried it behind frequent naps and iced coffee.

Your internal monologue continued until tears stung in your eyes, and you blinked them away, turning on your side as you willed yourself to get some rest.

By the time you woke up, it was mid-afternoon, and you stayed curled up on your side for a moment. Sun was streaming in through the window as you took a deep breath. You could hear people outside, along with splashing from the lake, and when you rolled over, you saw somebody zip past in a jet ski. After a taking a few minutes to scroll through your phone, you finally get up, stretching as you smooth your hair down.

You came out of your room and found Jimmy and Sophie in the kitchen. Yawning as you approached, Sophie smiled.

“Good nap?” she asked knowingly, and you nodded once you were close enough to hug her.

“Yeah, definitely,” you said, arms wrapped around her. She hugged back tightly, rubbing a hand between your shoulder blades before you pulled away. 

You felt better. The nap and the better weather helped kick the sadness out of you. You hated this part, feeling better and realizing how cynical you’d been earlier.

“Good to see you, Slim Jim,” you told Jimmy, hugging him quickly as well. You were happy to see him, deciding to focus on enjoying and savoring the long weekend with everyone instead of being miserable with sadness. Leaning back against the edge of the counter, feeling content, you smile. “Who all showed up when I was out?” 

“Uh, some friends of mine, Derek and Amy, showed up, Kev too, and he brought a friend,” he said, glancing down at the water like he couldn’t even remember who was there. “Brady’s about an hour or so out.”

The three of you chat for a while, catching up since it had been awhile since you’d seen Jimmy. He introduces you to the friends of his that were splitting the cabin for the weekend when they come through, and a moment later, you promise to catch up more later, deciding to head outside for a bit.

Outside, the sun beats down on you but you lift your chin to greet the warmth as you walk. It felt particularly good after the heavy rain of the drive in, the humidity from it clinging to the air still.

Making your way to the dock, someone you hadn’t met is standing there, football in hand. Kevin’s on the back of a jet ski with someone else driving, and it didn’t surprise you at all to see him jump off for the football when the man on the dock through it. No surprise, he missed the ball and landed in the water with a splash, and was already laughing when he resurfaced a moment later.

That’s when he spots you, hand shooting up in a wave with a wide smile. “Heyo!” he yells, already swimming toward the dock. You could hear the excitement in his voice, and nervousness pangs in your stomach.

You had only seen him once since he’d been traded a year and a half ago, when he’d been in town for a game and you hadn’t even realized it. Sophie had invited you out, and there he was, happy as ever to see you. You were grateful that the bar had been loud and that Brady had been occupying most of Kevin’s attention. After a drink and a half and a quick conversation with Sophie, you’d taken off, managing to avoid Kevin other than the hug he’d given you as a greeting.

Since Jimmy and Sophie were together and Brady had Gracia, you and Kevin had been the odd couple out, paired together during group activities. It worked out at least, considering the two of you got along great.u seldom hung out once  When all three of the guys lived together, the two of you always seemed to be the last two up, chatting or finishing a movie even after the others had gone to bed.

It had felt so natural to hook up with Kevin the handful of times it had happened in the months leading up to when he was traded. Each time had been when you were both the last two awake, lingering on the sofa, usually at least a little drunk. It had always been casual, and you told yourself the only reason it happened (and kept happening) were out of convenience. You’d certainly never seemed like his type, considering almost every girl you’d ever seen him talk to at a bar had the same slender build and the confidence that came with it.

You snapped yourself out of the thoughts, and tug at the fabric of your shirt self-consciously, feeling like it’s clinging to all the wrong parts of your body. Kevin’s eyes are on you still as he climbed the ladder to meet you on the dock, making you feel even more aware of yourself. He paused to grab a towel off the rail, rubbing it over his hair, then settling it over his shoulders. His swim shorts hung low on his hips and you force yourself to meet his eye, happy to see that he was smiling widely at you as he approached.

“It’s so good to see you,” he said, sounding as sincere as you could ever imagine. It felt like his smile had grown, and it made it impossible for you not to mirror the expression right back to him. “I’d hug you, but in case you didn’t notice, I was just in the lake.” You had forgotten how deep his voice was, and you tell yourself that it’s the sun that’s making you feel hot all over.

“I’m good with a rain check,” you responded, nodding at him. From the golden tone of his skin, you can tell he’s been outside a lot this summer. He looked great, as always, and you hadn’t expected anything less. 

“Good by me,” he told you with a laugh, bringing a hand out to ruffle your hair in lieu of a hug. You laugh with him, not quick enough to stop him. “How’s life been? Man, I feel like I haven’t seen or heard from you in forever.” You don’t let yourself think about his tone, how he almost sounds a little sad about it.

You shrug quickly in response to his question, still grinning. “Things are okay. Nothing’s really been going on, I guess. I miss you guys though.” Your hand comes up to shield the sun from your eyes, tilting your head up to see him better. He’s so tall that looking at him heads on would have you staring at the bit of hair that covers his chest, at how broad his shoulders are, and you were worried that you’d never stop if you started. “What about you? How’s Philly?” 

“I miss New York, but damn, Philly’s been great, I can’t even lie about it,” he admitted with a bit of a laugh. It was good to know that he’s happy, and you can feel it radiating off of him. “It’s a good city, and a good group of dudes. And this guy, over here,” he paused, voice a little louder as he motions behind him to the guy who’d thrown the football, “is Nolan. We lived together this year.”

Nolan looked at the two of you, holding up a hand to wave before turning his attention back to talking to one of Jimmy’s friends that’s floating in an inner-tube close to the dock. You were both silent for a moment then before whoever was on the jet ski yelled Kevin’s name, waving for him to come back out.

“You should come swim,” Kevin told you, motioning to whoever it was that he’d be there in a minute. 

Your eyebrows rose and you were quick to shake your head, even before self-consciousness dug its claws into you. “Nah, not right now at least,” you said, dismissing the idea with a wave of your hand. “I just came down to say hey, I’m actually going to go chill on the deck and read for a while, I think.”

For a short second, Kevin looked a little disappointed, but he doesn’t say anything about it. He instead nodded, smiling again already as his hand came up to your shoulder. “Yeah, gotcha.” It’s hard to ignore how large his hand is on you, the way he squeezes just slightly, his thumb brushing against your collarbone. “We’ll catch up more later.”

“Yeah, of course,” you told him, doing your best not to lean into his hand. Thankfully, he stepped away before your willpower went out, and you watched as he damn near sprinted back to the edge of the dock, jumping into the water in an effort to splash a friend.

You stopped in the cabin to grab your iPad, and on your way out to the back deck, a girl who introduced herself as Amy put a margarita in your hand and hugged you like she’d known you for years. It was a damn good margarita too, you realized as you settled on a lounge chair, stretching your legs out in front of you.

The rest of the afternoon ticks by easily. The margarita is rather strong, relaxing you into the chair as you read for the next hour and a half until Brady showed up. You’d been able to hear laughter and the occasional shouting from the water every so often, Kevin’s voice usually the loudest. Brady, Sophie, and Jimmy joined you on the deck a while later, and the four of you take the time to catch up a little more and figure out how to spend the next few days.

The sun had just stating to set when pizza arrived for dinner. The air is still warm, and someone was already working on starting a bonfire. Sophie was to your right at the picnic table, a little tipsy as she munched on some garlic bread.

Across the table, Brady was talking about his upcoming nuptials. Gracia hadn’t been able to make it for the trip, but you were glad he’d decided to come. Next to him, Kevin interjected with a dumb comment at one point, making Jimmy snicker.

“By the way, Kev, do you need a plus one? Have you been seeing anybody?” Brady asked, turning his head to look at him rather pointedly. It takes everything you have not to snicker a bit, lifting a slice a pizza to your mouth. 

“Naah, I’m not seeing anyone,” Kevin responded, lifting his shoulders in a shrug. “I’m sure I could find someone to go with, but I haven’t really dated much since Y/N.”

You freeze when he says your name, your mouth already half open to take a bite. What the fuck is he talking about? 

“We never dated,” you said, the words more sharp than you’d meant them to be. Your eyebrows have practically shot up, and you look away from him as an awkward silence hangs over the table for a beat until Sophie exhales a laugh.

Jimmy really came to the rescue by changing the subject, and your cheeks were burning by the time you met Kevin’s eye again. He actually looked a little amused, but rather than making you feel relieved, it makes heat curl down your spine. 

By the time it was completely dark, part of the group had settled on the sofa and chairs in the living room to watch a movie, while others decided to go on late ride on the lake. It was still plenty warm out, and you’d really hit a stride in the book you’d been working on, so you ended up back in the same chair you’d spent most afternoon in. The line of string lights gives the deck a nice glow to it, and you can hear the buzz of the TV in the living room.

The sliding glass door opens then closes, at you look up to see Kevin walking towards you.

“Is the movie no good?” you asked, tilting your head as you look at him. He had a beer in one hand and a hard cider in the other that he offered to you. The fact that he recognized your favorite brand in the fridge made you smile as you thanked him quietly for it.

“Movie’s fine, just thought I’d come see if you wanted to go for a walk or go hang by the water,” he responded, shrugging as he took a sip from the beer still in his hand.

“Uh, yeah, sure.” You shrugged back at him, flashing a grin as you got to your feet. Leaving your iPad on the seat for the time being, you follow him to the stairs, then down the trail to the dock.

“How are things in New York?” Kevin asked after a moment’s silence, and you glance up at him with a skeptical look.

“I thought we talked about this earlier,” you counter, taking a sip of your drink. He scoffed, shrugging beside you as the pair of you started down the dock.

“Yeah, I guess we did, really, how are things?” Kevin’s voice was lower this time, making your back straighten when he looked at you again. “How are you?”

You weren’t expecting such a direct question, and you’re grateful to deflect it for even a moment longer as you take the time kick off your shoes and sit on the edge of the dock. An answer still hasn’t found you, so you take a drink instead of speaking. Kevin watched you all the while as he sat next to you, making self-awareness prickle at the base of your neck.

“Life’s fucking weird right now,” you admit finally, looking at the reflection of the moon on the water. “And it actually kind of fucking sucks too.” Kevin doesn’t respond right away, but when you took a deep breath, his elbow nudged yours lightly.

“You’ll get through it,” he assured you, with such sureness in his voice that you looked at him with a warm smile.

“I know I will. It’s just hard, but I’m dramatic, so of course it feels like the end of an era or something.” Your shoulders rise then fall in a shrug, still looking at him. “And then I feel selfish for even feeling that way to begin with. I know it wasn’t your choice to leave, or Brady’s, or Jimmy’s. I’m trying not to let myself be too sad about it.” You were surprised that your voice remained even as you spoke.

The words hang in the air and Kevin nodded, bring a hand up to touch the back of your shoulder. You feel warm all over as his fingers splay over your upper back, and you find yourself biting the edge of your tongue when tears sting in your eyes. 

“I was sad about leaving too. I knew I’d miss the guys, that I’d miss you, but that’s what makes trips like these nice, getting to catch up and just hang out for a few days,” he said finally, his hand still on your shoulder when he met your eye. “I’m honestly surprised you’re not following Sophie to Buffalo.”

Your nose scrunched at the thought and you shook your head, exhaling a quick laugh. “I honestly thought about it, but I know she’s excited to be moving in with him, and I don’t want her to feel like she has to always keep me company or something,” you explained, peeling at the edge of the label on your bottle with your thumbnail. You weren’t sad enough about being alone in New York to justify moving upstate, you knew that much.

“Philly’s not far from New York, y’know. You can always come hang with me and Nolan, and I know there’s a few other guys on the team you’d have a good time with,” Kevin offered, taking a long swig of his beer as his hand finally fell from your shoulder. “Or I could visit you. We could go to that one bakery you like so much, watch movie or TV all day, just kind of chill.”

A wide smile spread across your face. “Yeah, I’d like that,” you said, taking the chance to nudge him with your elbow. Kevin nodded, still grinning as he nudged you right back. It felt good to be talking to him, to have him close enough to smell his cologne for the first time in a year and a half.

There was another pause, and you both took a drink, the sound of frogs and crickets hanging around you.

“Sorry for putting you on the spot like that at dinner. It was meant to be a joke,” he said finally, taking another drink to finish off the bottle. You glance up at him and it almost looked like he was blushing a bit over it.

Scoffing, you shake your head. “Don’t worry about it, but Kev, you know we never dated,” you told him, laughing as you finish off your own drink.

“We kind of did!” he responded, laughing with you. “We went out plenty of times!”

“Dude, texting me ‘hey, are you hungry?’ at 11pm, then going to a 24 hour diner does not count as a date.” You snorted, shaking your head. When he caught your eye, he was smiling almost bashfully.

“Okay, fine,” he conceded, holding your gaze. “The next time we go on a date, I’ll make sure you’re aware of it, deal?”

Your response is to laugh again, nodding and looking away this time. The way he’s looking at you makes you feel like you’re back on the sofa in their old apartment at 2am. A chill ran down you and you exhaled a breathe, watching the way the water rippled as a breeze swept through.

“I’m really did miss you,” Kevin told you, and from the corner of your eye, you know he was watching you again. Nervousness plucked along the back of your neck, and you kept your eyes on the water. “Like, way more than I miss Jimmy and Brady, honestly.” You don’t fully believe him, but either way, the sentiment makes your heart ache. 

With your jaw clenched, you exhaled a breath as your eyes burned with the threat of tears. “I missed you most too,” you assured him, swallowing the lump in your throat. 

“Good.” He paused, tilting his head up to look at the stars for a moment. “Can we watch season two of Fleabag sometime this weekend?” Kevin looked at you a second later and blinked as you laughed.

“Yeah, of course. That’s an oddly specific request,” you said, letting your eyes move over the lines of his face as he shrugged.

“I haven’t watched it yet, I was waiting until I could watch it with you.” His words made you blink, and your throat swelled, hating this rush of emotions now that you’d felt happier for most of the day. You didn’t really know what to say, so you just nodded again, suddenly feeling the urge to lean into him to bury your face in his neck comfortably.

A few months before he had been traded, you’d started the first season at 1:30am after a night of drinking. Brady had been at Gracia’s, and Jimmy and Sophie hadn’t even made it through the first episode. Considering the season consisted of six 25 minute episodes, it was easy for you and Kevin to stay up and watch the entire first season, curled up together on the couch.

You and Kevin had spent the following half hour making out like teenagers until he absolutely begged you to come to bed with him. Feeling heat beside your thighs, you now wish you had said yes, just to have that extra memory.

The two of you spend the next several minutes in silence, sitting side by side on the dock in the dark. You can hear music playing from the cabin behind you and the murmur of voices surrounding the fire pit that was a dozen feet away. Your heart was racing as you fidgeted after a while, trying to ignore the feelings for him that you had buried when he was traded that were now bubble at the surface.

Eventually, Kevin mentioned going up to the house for more drinks, and you agreed, getting to your feet with a sigh. You looked up at him briefly, then toward the house behind you.

“Before we head up, can I cash in my rain check for that hug from earlier?” he asked, running a hand over his hair as he watched you.

“Yeah, of course,” you responded, smiling widely as you walked into the arms he held open for you. 

You let out a breathe as he hugged you tightly, your face pressed into his chest. He smelled as good as he always did, and warmth of his hand rubbing over your back had you relaxing into him. Your fingers curl in the fabric of his shirt when he kissed the side of your head once, then a second time. 

“It’s gonna be a good weekend, yeah?” he murmured, the words muffled against your hair. It took everything you had not to shiver against him, and you nodded, happy to keep yourself nuzzled securely against him for a while longer. 

A FEW MORE NOTES: Well, this fic feels a lot more emotional than I’m used to writing, and it’s one of those things that I really like where I’m heading with this, but I worry about it seeming whiny or wishy-washy, but here it is anyway. How typical of me to vanish for months, then show up with a new story when everyone’s been waiting for Bring You Back to Me’s next chapter 😂 I love whoever of you are still reading at this point, and I hope you enjoy this fic. I loved the first part, but I’m so not used to writing anymore and that, paired with my ever present self-doubt, I’m like “is this fic good at all??? let’s fucking see!!!” and here we are 🤷🏻‍♀️

FRIDAY

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom season 2, ep 12-16 thoughts! these episodes, in comparison to the first 10 or so, felt way more laid back and low-stakes, which I appreciate sometimes. I didn't appreciate how lazy jack's halfa design was in masters of time, it made me so annoyed I redesigned it. 👎🏻 u_u

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-'picking a fight with me and my upgraded form!' 'you upgraded to a mullet?' DANNNNY. YOU CANT SAY THAT TO TECHNUS. YOUVE HAD A MULLET TWICE NOW ('fun' split danny, and evil future danny BOTH HAD THEM). I HAVE THE RECEIPTS.

-danny seeing technus hurting valerie and yelling I AM GOING TO BREAK YOU IN HALF. SAMEEEE <3

-axion labs is now a part of vladco. FUCK YOU VLAD. hes not even really IN this episode, but just thought I'd throw out a nice fuck you anyway.

-'capable of blasting a single person into space in (2) minutes!' tucker. that would kill someone. i mean yeah they might get to space, but theres NO WAY THEY WOULDNT CATCH FIRE, OR THEIR ORGANS WOULDNT LIQUIFY BECAUSE OF THE STRAIN. THEY'D PROBABLY PASS OUT BEFORE THEN, BUT. ...no, okay, I get why vlad bought this company. this is RIGHT up his alley.

-danny KNOWS VAL DIDNT DO THIS, THAT SOMEONE STOLE THE SUIT. AND SPENDING ALL NIGHT CHATTING WITH HER. <3 and val is a 9TH DEGREE BLACKBELT?? danny's mom is, too!! omg and she hunts ghosts, his parents would love her. and her fav fruit is kumquat bc its a funny word. im so with danny val is amazing. I love her and I Do Not Want To Hear It From Sam.

-I knew danny wanted to be an astronaut, but the bowling tidbit is like. yes give me more useless info abt these characters, I love tiny details that make them feel more human, and im glad hes got hobbies aside from ghost stuff, we dont really see a lot of that!!! (I mean, we knew 'fun' danny from when he split himself in half liked bowling, so obv it makes sense he LIKES it, but hes very GOOD at it. so proud of him, bowling king) val calling him neil armstrong and them teasing each other. LOVE THAT.

-technus you are my favorite grandpa for setting this up. SAM WHY ARE YOU BEING SO CREEPY BE HAPPY FOR YOUR FRIEND!!! STOP SPYING ON THEM!!! who actually cares if technus did 'set them up' together, theyre having fun and enjoy each others company!!! 'you think the universe wants you two to be together?' 'i dunno, but maybe /I/ do!' EXACTLY DANNY!!! SOO TRUE.

-and valerie being happy sam said she wants to try and be happy for them and make room at the lunch table for them. and hugging sam over it. VAL NEEDS MORE FRIENDS.

-VAL GOING AFTER TECHNUS IN HER SUIT WITH (1) MILK, AND (1) TREE BRANCH AND KEYS!!!. I LOVE YOUUUU BEST GIRL. her new suit kicks ass

-dannys like 'HEY IM AN ASTRONAUT :D' AW. ...HES IN SPACE... the fact he's actually intending to give her the ring. with SAMS NAME ON IT?? IM CRINGING DANNY NO. YOU CANT DO THAT...thank god he didnt. thank god valerie cut it off and said they can just stay friends for now. tbh, they both have a lot on their plates!! they obv both still like each other...it can be a future thing!! when she knows about phantom! youre 14 theres no need to rush. I just want her to have friends and be happy :(

-...danny struggles to do (1) pull up. SAME. but all the ghost fighting in phantom form REALLY doesnt carry over at ALL? that sucks

-sam being as fit as she is, is not just a goth. shes a goth jock.

-honey I Shrank Our Kid, One of his Enemies, and his Bully: the episode

-dash's crush on phantom is So Obvious. fitness buddies :) watching them interact always makes me laugh. also, phantom, with PANTS. 'how many costume changes you gonna go through, what is this, vegas??' DASSH DJKSFHASKDF

-MADDIE GOING AFTER THE MOUSE WITH A BROOM, WHAT THE FUCK. AAAH. JUST BUY SOME KIND OF MOUSE TRAP.

-danny likes lime and vinegar chips. which sound very good.

-'our boy finally has the physical prowess of a 60 year old president!' ...poor danny LMAO

-'what's wrong with beauty pageants' oh tucker you sweet naïve child. what ISNT wrong with them. who approved this for a high school?? (I mean, yes. unfortunately child pageants exist, but...) also danny and tucker once again treating the pretty girls like objects. I need to meet the grown man who wrote this, I just want to talk...

-prince aragon's dragon form reminds me of maleficent (color scheme wise) which is always a bonus. considering the episode is called beauty marked, I feel like the sleeping beauty references are deliberate

-sam with the fake fangs. once again her accessories never miss. hate the 'not like other girls, girls who get sucked into this kind of thing are all shallow and all want to be carbon copies' bs tho.

-sam trying to be the Worst Bride, being rude as shit. DORA IS GOING TO GET KILLED. DID YOU MISS THE PART WHERE SHE SAID THE PRINCE WILL HAVE HER HEAD IF YOU ARENT THE IDEAL BRIDE. YOU /KNOW/ DANNY WILL COME SAVE YOU. JUST ACT CHILL UNTIL THEN. even if you were doing fine to get him to take off the crown, consider maybe not letting his poor sister get punished also?? sure, she could also take off the crown and has dragon powers, but did you know that for sure?? dora didnt even really realize it until you guys talked!! (or at least, she was scared to stand up to him. you had no guarantee she would...) but. good for dora. ANOTHER friendly ghost to add to the List :)

-tucker is so under appreciated in his time. if he was doing a tech-based campaign today he'd have a better shot. people in 2004 had NO IDEA how much tech would be a part of our day-to-day lives...altho. tbh if you're going to be running for student council president, maybe you should..focus on things to actually improve the school? since he's going for a tech angle, he could say like, he would be running fundraisers for the schools computers to be upgraded, etc? we've already SEEN he can be good at money-making entrepreneur type stuff!!

-oh my god wait. this episode is JUST YUGIOH?????! A REBORN PHAROH USING A TEENAGER AS A VESSEL?? YESSSSSS

-tucker using his new minion to feed him grapes and carry him. AND LOCUSTS ONTO THE BULLIES. I love how when he's possessed, he gains winged eyeliner.

-this episode is giving me big 'plankton makes everyone in bikini bottom his slaves and build monuments of him from the spongebob movie' vibes. and the pharaoh has a traitor who works for him? VERY big yugioh vibes. aknadin confirmed

-I like that danny is still completely exhausted after using ghostly wail. (still patiently waiting on him to get duplication)

-LOVE the fenton's 80s outfits. I get hes 14 and embarrassed by everything they do because theyre his parents, but. cmon, this is one objectively cool thing theyve done. love 80s fashion.

-...was vlad just standing on that streetlight waiting for danny to come out? how'd he know they'd be coming out the back? how long has he been up there???

-oh, wait, his ecto-acne has flareups? that SUCKS. danny was...well I dont want to say he was LUCKY HE HALF-DIED, but he was lucky his was pretty instant (I'm assuming that had to do with the power/scale of the portals being different?) I remember in the ep we met him, vlad made a point of saying he was stuck in a hospital for a long time, so. that really actually sucks and I feel bad. not that it excuses anything he's done...but like. it does suck.

-vlad being so sure danny wouldnt help him he made it somehow contagious to his friends to make sure he'd get help? danny is a nice boy, he wouldve helped if it was anyone else. the only reason he wouldn't have is because of the shit vlad did to him, on purpose. vlad 100% dug his own grave by being the biggest asshole, so it is very hard to feel bad for him.

-clockwork is back!!! and making danny learn lessons The Hard Way. Uhhh, okay. I kind of get Danny’s logic, that time traveling this far back would prevent vlad from becoming a halfa also, ergo no arch nemesis or ectoacne to worry about. But the fact that was basically the first solution Danny came up with to solve this problem is actually so funny. It’s so extreme

-APPRICIATION FOR THESE 80S LESBIAN BG CHARACTERS.

-vlad telling maddie in the lab (in the 80s) he has something he's wanted to tell her 'for a long time'...how long have they known each other? I assumed they met in college, since jack always calls vlad his college buddy/roommate, so jack and vlad for sure met in college, but did vlad know maddie longer? thats surprising if so. Tho we don’t know what year of college they’re in so they could mean they met as freshmen and a few years have past…speaking of maddie shes crushing the 80s look.

-vlad blames jack, but. maybe dont stick your face 2 inches from the portal??! THIS FEELS LIKE LAB SAFETY BASICS. IF SOMETHING HAS POTENTIAL TO BE DANGEROUS, DONT GET NEAR IT. WITH YOUR FACE UNPROTECTED IN ANY WAY. (altho jack didnt really give a Big Warning besides screaming BONZAI. so. also that, but cmon.) also, they need gloves, goggles, and to pull all of their hair back tbh. but fuck lab safety, I guess!

-cryyyyinnng at how lazy they were with jack's ghost form design, its just plasmius' design on jack!!! you couldve given him his own design!!

-there. I did that in about 10 minutes and its somehow less lazy than what made it into the show. embarrassing! better yet, I think the episode would've been better if maddie would've gotten the ectoacne. or maybe its just me, wanting to see her design! anyway. I'm sure people have already done redesigns of them both as halfas. I have to go look after I finish this watch through. Also mildly frustrated jacks resentment and bitterness is basically also a copy paste of vlads backstory. They’re different characters, I really don’t think jack would stew in bitterness and jealousy the same way vlad would!! I also don’t think he’d give up after one time of trying to hunt ghosts and getting laughed at. Our canon timeline says different…I dunno, I get it was for laughs, but I’m annoyed because the POTENTIAL this plot has…

-did vlad really wear a stupid cheese hat to his wedding. ok actually that kinda rules. and the cheese door knocker. the dairy-only buffet table. vlad still got rich, just on being the New Dairy King. (Assuming that means he owns a lot of dairy businesses?) ok! this actually is great. hope maddie isn't lactose intolerant!

-'no matter how hard I tried, I could never get rid of my ghost half, the half I knew Maddie could never accept' ohh, ouch, what a horrible thing to say to her HALF GHOST SON. 'YOUR MOM WILL NEVER ACCEPT YOU' BASICALLY.

-maddie strapping danny to the table with a lazer pointed at him in a secret lab she keeps from vlad that she makes a point of saying is sound proof so he can scream all he wants...CHRIST. DANNYS POOR PYSCHE.

-also, not to feel bad for alternate vlad (because, he did lie to maddie saying jack blames her and never wants to see her again...) but. being married to a woman 20+ years and she immediately goes back to jack? if she didnt love vlad and feels like she had to hide shit from him, and says she wasted her best years with him, WHY MARRY HIM. it feels like leading him on!!! cannot believe im feeling bad for vlad, but. this alternate timeline vlad is significantly Less Horrible than Our Vlad. did she not think she'd get funding for her ghost stuff? (which, fair assumption since they're considered 'ghost fanatics/nuts in canon...but...) why did she think jack or vlad would be her ONLY OPTIONS? be like your sister. be single. Actually, this au could’ve been really interesting if after the accident, vlad lied to her and said jack never wanted to see her again, but she stays single. Imagine how much that would bug vlad… like, in her mind, it was never a competition it was jack or no one type situation…

-danny being like 'leave him ALONE' this jack is a HOMEWRECKER, DANNY. let them go to court and settle this at the least. ...or just throw vlad into the portal. (100% human, defenseless vlad) CHRIST, MADDIE THATS BRUTAL. THATS MURDER.

-danny seeing his mom immediately accepting him and his dad being half ghosts in this universe, if I was him this would be a great sign that his universe's maddie would also.

-*maddie voice* "clockwork will help!" *2 seconds later, with clockwork* "I will Not Help." TOUGH LOVE KING. YES LET DANNY SEE THE SODA HIMSELF AND DEVOLP BETTER OBSERVATION SKILLS.

-when clockwork ""reset time to the way it was"" just before danny "meddled"" ...did he really erase a whole alternate timeline? ...damn. because maddie and danny both called it an alternate timeline by name, it splitting when the college incident went different, so it wouldnt have really mattered if he reset it, right. like because danny's timeline is on a different stream? why didnt clockwork just. show danny a replay and not Reset That Timeline. wh...I wonder how many people that Erased From Existence. Anyway! once again stating clockwork is casually terrifying!

[battendownthewhatsit]

An Extremely Informal And Longwinded List of Black Sails Characters ordered by my Most Favorite to Least, After Watching the Series Twice, For No Reason Except It’s My Blog and I Want To 

- coming in at a Close Second to Madi, it’s every other named woman in the show ??  Max? Incredible.  Brilliant. Powerful and limited, complex and driven and deeper every time I think about her arc?? wow. Eleanor? absolute Shakespeare -level tragedy and the best blouses, amazing.  Anne? Holy Hell. Miranda? Lost too soon but still more powerful and insightful as a ghost/psychopomp than most characters on most shows when they’re alive. Full of righteous murder and I love that for her. Abigail Ash?? what a gem , deserved better family, I hope she lives to become a pirate queen. Idelle? comin’ up from left field to be an absolute force of hope and healing and defiance all in one, best stealth character arc.  The Maroon Queen? how does she rule the whole show with like ten minutes of screen time. Need a whole show about her.  Frigging. Charlotte?  an Artist. an Artist dealing with a Terrible Client and so in five minutes flat she was My character omg. Grandma Guthrie? unexpected kingmaker and I love how much of a Story she’s implied to have.  Mapleton? ...ok maybe I don’t care about Mapleton. but otherwise I can’t? pick  a favorite? my favorite is whichever of them is onscreen at the moment and extra when it’s more than one of them , which happens a lot but could never happen enough , not in forty seasons. 

- Godammit, Silver. Someone should shove him off the edge of a boat. Everyone  should shove him over the edge of a boat. But I can’t deny he’s a Perpetual Shenanigans Machine and I am always a fan of Shenanigans. Damn my weakness. 

 Vane?? I care about Charles Vane ??? How did this happen. When. What. I sobbed when he died and I’m still mad about it. 

 Billy Bones,  who amazingly did Nothing Wrong Ever until he suddenly did EVERYTHING Wrong Forever, and it made sense  and I’m upset about this too but it’s so solid and  aaaaah

 Jack Rackham, unexpectedly poignant Comedy Gold 

Teach, what a solid Dragon, what an amazing setup and payoff on a character who was only barely there

MR SCOTT , I wish he had SO much more focus, what an absolute revelation of character, absolute exemplar of planting a Character Revelation in a show , all his scenes are a thousand times richer on rewatch , the show  had to kill him bc if he’d lived he’d have solved everything 

RANDALL, CHAOS MENTOR, and rightly Judgey Food Service Worker 

Mr. Gates, F in the chat again , we only got glimpses of just how much was going on under the surface but it was eNOUGH omg I still tear up watching his speech about Billy

Captain Naft, for some reason a Genuinely Nice Guy who decided he was gonna PIrate and then was Terrible at it?? hilarious.  I’m so glad he got out . Hope he sailed away to star in a Pratchett novel. 

Tie between Featherstone and Mr de Groot (F in the chat, buddy, I hope you’re sailing on in a magical world where people respect your technical expertise and practical recommendations), champions of Just Being Good at the Job

 Julius, I’m sure he’d be top five if he’d have even thirty combined minutes of screentime but realistically I can only love him for his Potential 

likewise every person on Maroon island who never gets any focus, they All Deserved Better but didn’t get it so I can only love them Conceptually 

OH HELL, FLINT, I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT FLINT , I want to move him further up the list now but the fact that I didn’t even  remember to include him  until now tells me this is probably a Fair and Accurate ranking of where he stands in my Heart? which is. Completely wild??? he’s  one of the most main of main characters?? But (a) I really truly despise the way he treats his men like disposable straws for most of the series? I mean look how much I love so much of the Walrus crew and then this guy’s going around frigging blowing their brains out and tossing them off ships and obviously We Have a Problem  and (b) I think for me he wound up suffering from overexposure-- not in the show, but in terms of seeing him around Tumblr for years before I watched the show.  I saw all his big speeches and character reveal moments screecapped and gif’d for years, in a way I almost never saw anyone else’s, and when those moments rolled around for me in the series there was always a feeling like “oh, this is where that happens. OK then” , instead of experiencing it as a new emotional revelation. Given that the scenes where he did something I hadn’t  seen gif’d to death were still really powerful for me, I think all those years of out-of-context quotes and caps are really the main thing in play here, and that’s Unfortunate and also very much a  Me Problem, but also it’s just such a visceral emotional thing that I can’t really change the reaction.  Sorry, Captain , you’re great and well-written, I was just Spoilered out of a strong emotional reaction to you. :/ 

Thomas? Thomas.....

Israel Hands

uuuuh Hornigold and Dufresne I guess? Dufresne in particular is striking to me bc I hate his Choices but the  way he winds up making them is v. sympathetic 

uuuh Eleanor’s bodyguards in S1/early S2 I guess? 

the pastor who kind of hilariously has no plot relevance to anything ever 

....

that’s it

there are no more characters in this show :) 

no there aren’t :):)