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goldengoddess · 3 years

Text

best part of me, sunshine

pairing: kaz brekker x reader

request: your work is literal art! the way you write kaz is so endearing. i was gonna request - if you’re up for it - a reader who’s a literal ray of sunshine as a human being and kaz being his moody self and their interactions whilst in a developed relationship. you can totally be creative with this one and you’re amazing!! :D

a/n: i got SO outta hand with this only bc i totally projected bc this is the kinda person i am LMAO also THIS IS TOTALLY MY FAVORITE TROPE OR RELATIONSHIP DYNAMIC best best thing ever anon thank you for this request i hope u like it! and thank u so much ur so freaking kind

warnings: some angst? like kinda in the middle? basically kaz getting into a mood and taking it out on the reader a little bit but HAPPY ENDINGS PEOPLE

you were the best part of him

he knew it

you knew it

everyone around him knew it

your energy, the pure light you brought into the world, was the best part of kaz’s life

no one was sure when the two of you became a ‘thing’

one day you were just there

to kaz there was before and after you

and frankly he didn’t really care about the before

he just cared about you

but kaz was, well, kaz

he wasn’t exactly the most, um como se dice, easy to get along with person

but you never seemed to mind

your extroverted ‘i get along and love every person i meet’ personality had won him over the way it won over everyone else

and though the two of you were quiet literally the opposites attract theory, it worked

it worked really well

kaz had his moods

but they never seemed to bring you down

he’d stand in the corner of the crow club

broody and observant

and you would gracefully move through the crowd

and he’d watch as you talked with total strangers

and when you bid them goodbye they would be left smiling, or blushing, sometimes both

he couldn’t deny your affect on people

you made business boom

everyone loved your energy

and when they found of you were kaz’s they would laugh and shake their head in disbelief

you’d come up to him during a busy night and tug at his sleep

“kaz! theres a man over there who sells goats! actual goats! he was telling me all about it, i think we should get one? what do you think? kind of like a mascot, oh wait! maybe we should get a crow instead?”

he’d listen to you ramble and find himself leaning your way

soaking in your warmth

the corners of his lips involuntary tugging upwards the way they always did when you spoke

you’d drag him along occasionally

to meet someone particularly interesting

or meet a surprisingly cute goat named milo

sometimes he’d even enjoy being at your side

he liked how you showed him off like he was something to be proud of you

because you were

proud of him

proud to be his

proud that the two of you could love each other

you’d make the best comments to him throughout the night

whispered into his ear of course

“nina told me this woman actually came here from ravka! saints i’d love to go”

“kaz she is just so pretty! maybe i should dye my hair like that? what do you think? could be fun! oh you should totally do it with me.”

you filled his days in a way he didn’t know was possible

in return he slowed you down

you were sunshine, as the poets might like to say

and you were in constant motion

always trying to be active and helping others

always smiling

sometimes, even at the expense of your own well being and peace

you’d be up early, earlier than even kaz, busying yourself around his room or the slat

and you’d walk up to his bed as he woke up,

and you would be so tired, exhausted even

but you’d smile down at kaz

“can we just lie here for a bit?” he would ask

you’d let out a breath of relief

because he knew

that you were pushing your limits

and you’d lay next to him

fingertips brushing against each other

just for a few minutes

he knew the ways to make you recharge

so your sunshine personality was genuine and not faked

some days were decidedly not so great

kaz’s moods could be turbulent

he never meant to let them affect his attitude towards you

but kaz had suffered through hell, multiple times

and it just took over some days

you could brush certain things of

but then he’d push you away when you attempted to make him smile or calm him down

you’d leave a comforting hand on his shoulder, the way you always did

as he’d recoil

“saints, can you go do anything else” he would growl

or when he really needed to fight he’d yell something along the lines of: “you are not helping! you’re too much right now.”

and you’d flinch at his words

and he would regret them immediately

you’d stick your chin up higher and make your way towards the door

“kaz, i know you’re hurting right now. i’ll give you space, even though i don’t think you really want that. but this is how i am. i am happy. i am comforting. i will not let you make me feel less than for that.”

and you’d slam the door, hurrying to your room so you could breathe

kaz would follow you

his bad mood gone and replaced with deep deep shame

he never meant any of the things he said to you when he got into a mood, never

and you were right, he wanted to you there always

but another part of him pushed and pushed

he’d knock on your door the way he always did after he said something much too cruel for you

you’d open it, with your soft, beautiful, sympathetic smile

“you ready to stop acting so much like a teenager and talk to me?” you would ask, hand on your hip

he would nod and give you an actual smile, just to make up for everything

everything would be good by the end of the night

the air smelling of kaz’s favorite candle and your head on his shoulder as you recounted your day to him

everyone had, fittingly, dubbed you ‘sunshine’

you heard it even more than you heard your name at this point

to kaz, you were still angel

you always would be

but occasionally he’d throw in your most common pet name

like when you came up to him

buzzing with energy

all giggly and glowing

and leave quick kisses all over his face

excited and bubbling with joy and love for him

and he would just be blown away by you once again

how something so undeniably good could exist in this hellish city

he’d grab your face and a smile would tug at his lips

“you are the best part of me, sunshine” he would tell you

and kiss your forehead before walking off

unknowingly, leaving you with more happiness in your chest than usual

#kaz brekker #kaz brekker x oc #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker headcanons #kaz brekker x y/n #kaz brekker fic #kaz brekker x you #kaz brekker imagine #shadow and bone #six of crows #grishaverse #jesper fahey #six of crows imagine #grisha #nina zenik #leigh bardugo

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vampkomori · 3 years

Text

the TMGB theory

i think theres a bit more to Shinjukus “destruction” if we shift our attention to its most iconic landmark, the tokyo metropolitan government building.

Note: this theory is just for fun. but I think it has a good shot at estimating the future higher plane storyline

Before we get into the details of the TMGB, lets first establish something about the purification of Shinjuku

This dialogue from w2d4 is about much detail as we’ll get about what happened to Shinjuku, and what effect its “destruction” had on the RG. It was “wiped out” “erased” and “vanished”; nobody in the RG remembers it, except for the people that had been in the UG before.

Well “how can a whole city just vanish?” the answer is: it cant. But lets first bring this visual aid into play

Shinjuku used to be just north of Shibuya, but its not gone in the sense that it left a hole in reality and people just black out whenever they pass through. No, it seems like Shinjuku as an established district is gone, meaning its borders were never drawn, and all its space was instead given to all the other districts.

Basically, instead of “vanishing”, its more like memories and history were rewritten so that Shinjuku was just never a thing. Instead, the other districts just expanded their reach and parts of formerly-Shinjuku are now parts of other cities.

I believe this has to be the case because the alternative brings more trouble than its worth: If it was truly erased to a point where the space it formerly occupied is just empty, people would notice. But as we see with rindo and the others, they dont! rindo had no idea there was even a city up there. Itd also make no sense if people just blacked out and suddenly ended up on the other side of Tokyo, itd mess with measurements bc theres just a bunch of space unaccounted for. people with a 6th sense would also have picked up on the area being iffy, but none of this seems to be the case

Now we can get to the tokyo metropolitan government building! Its pretty important considering its uh. The government. And also shinjukus most iconic landmark. If the city had actually been destroyed, then thered be severe consequences in the RG because their government building is suddenly just gone. A simple memory wipe could not make up for it not existing, and it definitely couldnt just magically conjur up a new building within moments. (I mean, whose jurisdiction would this even fall under? The other Composers would fight over whod get to have the literal government in their city)

Suffice to say “Shinjuku” still exists in the RG. Its just broken up into pieces and those are considered part of the other cities now.

So, if Shinjukus RG is fine, what about its UG?

What we see in A New Day may actually just be Shinjukus UG slowly fading into another plane.

To backtrack a little, theres a reason the Shibuya UG we’re in during neo doesnt include its newly gained parts of shinjuku, its because Shinjukus UG also still exists, and as neku says “it’s still there, but it’s been cut off from both the RG and the UG.” so its inaccessible. Also meaning, it cant be broken up and added to the expansion of the other UGs. if someone were to, theoretically, die in the RG of the areas that were formerly part of shinjuku, theyd simply go to the UG of whichever district claimed that area, and just wouldnt be able to access that other area in that UG

Now that thats out of the way we can go back to the actual star of the show: the tokyo metropolitan government building! Needless to say, whichever district has the literal government within its borders is bound to be incredibly influential.

And it just so happens

That the TMGB now falls into Shibuyas borders!

I believe this may be the key to the future relevance of Shibuya. The city is already extremely influential, as joshua himself said

Shibuyas influence is too strong.

So strong in fact, it could potentially “poison” the other districts. Now imagine how powerful Shibuya would be if you added the Government into the mix.

Additionally, Shibuya is already considered special by the Higher Plane due to the Shibuya River.

The Shibuya River is a particularly unique place, though we dont know which exact properties make it so unique, the fact that it started flowing into its own plane even after its source was destroyed already marks it as incredibly powerful.

So Shibuya as a place is impressively influential, so itd be no surprise if the Higher Plane kept an eye out for it, but if there was any doubt about this,

Due to the events of og twewy, the city is also considered to have reached its ideal state. Without a doubt this only adds to its already impressive level of power, and basically assures that the Angels keep an eye out for the city even after the Game between Joshua and Megumi was over.

But then why were they suddenly so insistent on seeing Shibuya purified in neo? Well, we dont know. Despite mentioning purification so often and the fact that Angels seem to encourage it, we dont actually know why the Higher Plane wants to see Shibuya purified. By all means, it should be an optimal parallel world now, so why would they suddenly want to see it gone?

The key may actually be Joshua himself. After all, he intended to stop Shinjukus purification. Though we dont know why he interfered, whether it was out of a newfound appreciation for humanity that went beyond his own city, or if he actually wanted to prevent the TMGB from falling into his borders, he was actively going against what the Higher Plane wanted, which would automatically mark him as a nuisance in their plans. Surely by purifying Shibuya, its entire area and also the area it claimed from Shinjuku, would once again fall into the borders of another district, and thus another Composer.

Its difficult to say whether this is an overarching plan from the Higher Plan that has spanned across both games. If youve read my post about Composers, which is about how Hazuki may actually be a demoted Angel from the Higher Plane, it could be possible that his demotion was on purpose, and that they intended for Haz to purify Shinjuku, therefore making Shibuya more powerful due to the TMGB falling into its borders. He would be the ideal candidate for this, as hes considered unsympathetic and lacks knowledge about the lower planes (and thus doesnt know about the TMGB), making it extremely easy to influence him to erase his city. (though you could also claim he was in on it, but then later changed his mind about it and decided to intervene with Shibuya’s destruction, once again due to Joshua’s influence)

Either way, Shibuya was saved! (again!) and now its more influential and powerful than ever. No doubt even more people would want to come after Shibuya’s seat of Composer, just to govern this massively important city.

And who else still desires this seat other than our favourite math guy

The fact that his plotline about still wanting to go after the Composer is tucked away in the Secret Ending of Another Day, means that this still has to be followed up on in a potential next game.

And what better scenario to bring this up than Shibuya being highly sought after due to its recently acquired influence-boost in the form of the government

and to summarize everything once more for extra clarity

Shinjuku wasnt destroyed so much as history was just overwritten so that Shinjuku as a district was never established, causing its area to be split up amongst the other districts. the TMGB now falls into the borders of Shibuya, and with it comes even more power and influence. Shibuya as a city already had an intense amount of influence over tokyo, and even the Shibuya River is so unique that it catches the attention of the Higher Plane. Despite Shibuya having reached its ideal state of being an optimal parallel world, the Higher Plane still wants to see it purified for some reason. Though we dont know why yet, it may be because of Joshua, the fact that hes Shibuyas Composer, and that he willfully goes against the Higher Plane, most notably when he interfered to prevent Shinjukus Inversion. Whether Hazuki is aware of an overarching plan or not, Joshua still influenced him to a point where he also decided to go against the Higher Plane by saving Shibuya. With Minamimoto still wanting the Composer’s seat, it sets the tone of Shibuya’s throne being more sought-after than ever. And the Higher Plane may be more relevant than ever to make sure this influential district falls into the hands of one of their own

this concludes my case

#ntwewy #neo twewy spoilers #neo the world ends with you #twewy meta #shinjuku and shibuya #joshua kiryu #vampymori.txt #tmgb theory #ive worked on this longer than any other post i rly hope its comprehensible and easy to follow #RED HOT NEWS: THE HIGHER PLANE IS THE ANTAGONIST #as if there was any doubt abt that before but if there was: here u go!#plus i hope this at least somewhat clarified the misconceptions abt shinjukus 'destruction'#it doesnt rly help they keep calling it that but the visual examples they provide just dont make sense otherwise #its still there! just you know. wiped from history and memory altogether

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blxetsi · 4 years

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Hi! Can I please request modern au hcs for Armin?

tysm for requesting !!

modern armin arlert dating headcanons

lowercase intended !

college!armin arlert x gn!reader

- okay so

- i think in a college setting you and armin hit it off really well

- i think you guys wouldve just accidentally kept bumping into each other, whether it be around campus, at some coffee shop, in the library

- it gets so frequent you dont even know if its a coincidence at this point, yet you cant help but hope that you seem him whenever you go out

- after ALWAYS bumping into each other and apologizing before making small talk, armin makes the first move

- mf just says "are you following me ?" to which you reply "are YOU following me ?"

- that night ends in you two exchanging numbers 🤩

- you find out that hes a humanities major, and wants to be a psychologist some day

- you also find out he has a paid internship at a research facility near the university you attend

- hes super sweet but also super humble, so he tries not to keep the subject on himself for very long, just wanting to know more about you

- as you two get closer he gets more touchy (not in a weird way)

- he starts greeting you with hugs now, and likes to have a light grip on your wrist when hes leading you through crowded hallways of the school

- he introduced you to his bestfriends and roommates, mikasa and eren, and they were really accepting !! (they already could tell armin liked you even if he didnt know himself)

- you start developing feelings for him about two months after you exchanged numbers, and you honestly felt really weird

- because this beautiful boy whos so sweet and kind and intelligent is like,, wayyyy out of your league

- armin thinks the exact same thing

- he thinks youre so cool and fun to be around, you always have the best stories to tell and are so welcoming,, its HARD not to fall for someone like you !!

- finally he gets up the courage to ask if you can come to his apartment

- and there he confesses 😳💥‼️

- you sit there shocked for a couple seconds too long because now hes freaking out like "im so sorry i didnt wanna seem creepy i just wanted to tell you how i felt you can leave or i can walk you home- wait you probably wouldnt want that but-"

- you just kind of grab his shoulders and start shaking him. before you tell him you like him too.

- the apples of his cheeks turn pink before he smiles and gives you such a tight hug !!

- hes immediately planning a date with you for when youre both free

- takes you to the local aquarium 🤩 and kisses you in front of the moon jellies (u know those big tanks with the jellyfish that are like glow in the dark ?? and the whole hallway is pitch black except for the lights from the tank ?? yeah ❤️ he kissed you THERE and it was beautiful)

- has chapped lips 😐 sorry i dont make the rules

- has a habit of picking them when hes working or lost in thought

- doesnt mean you stop kissing him tho

- is the kind of guy that will genuinely get worried if you send an "sos" type message. gets out of his own class just to speedwalk (he isnt gonna break the rules and run in the halls 🙄) and come to your class just to see if youre okay

- looks at you like 😐 when you explain you just need him to get you an iced coffee from that shitty coffee place in the cafeteria

- does it anyway even though hes annoyed 😌✨

- will grumble about paying him back for the five dollars he just spent on you while you kiss him over and over again in thanks

- doesnt let you pay him back though smh 🙄

- loves to give back hugs

- will do it while youre working, or while youre doing the dishes

- if youre shorter than him he'll rest his head on your and just smell your hair

- if youre taller than him hes shoving his face inbetween your shoulder blades

- is such a lightweight drunk its not even funny

- none of his friends are tbh 🙄

- the first time you saw him drunk was when eren dragged you guys out to a party their friend was hosting (literally interrupted your cuddle time in armins bed to THROW OFF THE BLANKETS and say "you guys are coming with me 😁👍" and when you two said no he TURNED ON THE LIGHTS and ruined the vibe 😐 fucking asshole)

- anyways you two had to change back into your clothes at 9pm just to go to a shitty party that was gonna get busted by the cops anyways 😔💔

- you couldnt find him through the sea of people, and u got really worried until armin called you

- it was not armin on the other line 😁👍

- he said his name was reiner ?? and he said he was with armin bc he puked while playing beer pong

- the guy tells you where they are and you go to find them. theyre sitting on this couch in a backroom and theres only like,, five people in total there ??

- armin is SOBBING while reiner is trying to get him to drink water

- "reiner you dont get it,,, theyre so beautiful. i cant compete. i dont even think theyd wanna be with me. and you have to see them talk about their major. theyre so smart you dont understand." "okay buddy lets just finish this water okay ?"

- armin is leaning his shoulder on this GIANT of a man just going on about how much he loves you and how amazing he finds you. until you tap his shoulder. and then he realizes youve been listening this entire time. and then he starts crying because he doesnt want you to find him weird. and then you have to explain to him that you two are dating. where he doesnt believe you still.

- eren ends up giving you the keys to his car and saying "ill just call you when i need a ride back" and reiner CARRIES armin to the car 😭😭😭

- hes a real gentleman 😁👍

- that morning armin remembers EVERYTHING and is MORTIFIED

- calls reiner immediately like "did people see me puke ? oh god am i gonna be talked about ?"

- has very vivid dreams and remembers all of them ?? will literally tell you about a dream he had when he was five and WILL NOT forget a detail. its weird

- his family actually doesnt seem like they like you 😳 not because they dont theyre just very,, quiet people...... except for his grandfather

- doesnt even care who you are to armin, will pull you down on the couch with him to tell you about all his research and findings as an archeologist (before he retired)

- if youre ever feeling sad about anything, whether that be stress, family problems, or body image issues, armins taking you to his place 😁👍

- he'll cuddle you and whisper how much he loves you while you two are watching something on his laptop

- has acne scars on his shoulders. dont make fun of him for it pls

- loves getting back scratches though, the tingles make him feel really calm

- if you have like,, makeup brushes and stuff he likes it when you brush his face with them, no product or anything but the tingles he gets from it 🤤

- over time his parents warm up to you quiet a bit, and when his mom shows you baby photos and from him as a kid youre SHOCKED.

- he had this little bob cut from when he was ten to his teens 🥺🥺🥺🥺

- when you two are walking back home or wherever you cant help but go on about how cute he was and how healthy and pretty his hair looked (not that its not healthy or pretty now) and he just giggles before pulling you into his side and kissing your cheek while saying "okay baby, ill grow it out just for you then"

- also loves the petnames baby, angel, and love

- will gladly let you steal his sweaters. has a really nice knit one that his grandma made him before she died. that ones off limits.

- doesnt like to fight, but when he feels like hes in the right he wont hesitate to yell back when youre yelling at him

- just dont yell at him pls, it makes him sad

- it takes him a while (and by a while i mean like 30 minutes at most) before his texting you asking if you guys can talk about it

- its really easy for you two to make up, and immediately hes hugging you and just asking if you wanna do something with him

- also, cuts his own hair ?? and would cut yours if you asked. mikasa vouches for him "yeah he trims my hair all the time. why ?"

- every year on your anniversary hes taking you to the aquarium. and he always kisses you as softly as he did the very first time, in the dark hallway of the moon jellyfish tank ✨

a/n

THATS ITTT !!! thanks again for requesting !! i hope you all enjoyed. remember asks are open !! u dont have to request headcanons either !!! go crazy friends !!

#attack on titan headcanons #attack on titan x reader #attack on titan fanfiction #attack on titan #armin arlert #armin attack on titan #armin arlet x reader #armin arlert x reader #armin arlet #eren mikasa armin #eren yeager #mikasa ackerman

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spohkh · 4 years

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GOOD AFTERNOON I HAVE A VERY IMPORTANT QUESTION! Please tell me how Dean and Cas would have been if they were raising baby Jack! Also do you think Claire would have babysat for her little brother sometimes if their dads were on a hunt?

HELLO SARAH thank u for this ask that was designed to drive me, specifically, ins*ne ❤️

i feel like... okay. oh this is going to be SO rambling i apologize in advance.

but ok so we KNOW for a fact that dean is a dad like he is just A DAD it is so integral to his being. he's caring and attentive and isn't afraid of the fact that kids can be gross or annoying because he recognizes that they are KIDS and need patience and care. so i feel like at first dean would just take over the bulk of the care for jack bc its just natural for him at this point. (IM THINKING ABOUT HIM BOUNCING THAT BABY IN WHATEVER EP THAT WAS AND ITS MAKING ME WANT TO CRY. HE IS SO GOOD WITH KIDS HES MEANT TO HAVE KIDS HES SO FULL OF LOVE!!!!) and cas ALWAYS looks to dean first when it comes to learning How To Be Human™ so he'd be watching what dean does to emulate him. i imagine theres a lot of "no no no--you need to support his head like THIS", and, "oh that means he's hungry here this is how you should hold the bottle", at the start of their care for him

GOD WASNT DEAN ALSO HUMMING A ZEPPELIN SONG TO THAT BABY HE WAS BOUNCING IN WHATEVER EPISODE THAT WAS (PLEASE SOMEONE DOES ANYONE KNOW WHAT EPISODE IM TALKING ABOUT) HRRGHRGRGHGH LED ZEPPELIN LULLABIES BUT BETTER THAN THAT--BETTER THAN DEAN HUMMING HARD ROCK LULLABIES TO BABY JACK--CAS BEING LIKE OH YEAH THATS GREAT AND CASSSSSS HUMMNING HARD ROCK LULLABIIEISSS TO BABY JACKKKKK I AM GOING SUPERSONIC.

ALSO its important to rmmbr that jack ISNT fully human so there will be things that only cas will be able to take care of. my fuckng god they really are the perfect pair to care for jack oh god im getting emotional. i have no idea what those angel-specific needs would BE.... like god when jack is especially fussy and his unchecked powers start to come out dean is like okie doke time to tap in the angel husband i cannae handle getting laserbeamed by my infant son rn 😌✌🏼 and cas is like honestly id rather deal with jack trying to suplex me into the fuckng wall than change his diaper. quite simply i must admit you humans are kinda nasty at times god bless. but yeah jack would have ALL of his needs addressed thanks to having a human dad and an angel dad which i think is so key!! and is smth that they did kind of have in the show but due to um fukcng EVERYTHING else going on i felt like his human side was kinda neglected and wasnt developed as much as it couldve/shouldve been, which led to, yknow, a lot of dangerous misunderstandings. jack certainly needs and deserves to have his WHOLE self nurtured and recognized.

also wow itd be so nice to have an eldritch interdimensional being who technically doesnt need sleep as your co-parent bc dean can get ALLLLL he blissful sleep he needs while cas takes care of the nighttime baby needs! UGH perfect

AND YES. OF COURSE CLAIRE WOULD BABYSIT JACK. GOD IF EVER THERE WERE A GIRL DESERVING OF A YOUNGER SIBLING. she has older sister syndrome ANYWAY. also shes dean kin so i think itd be REALLY funny if dean is like are you SURE youre okay to take care of him? remember hes a nephilim like he has powers it can be really dangerous when he gets too worked up. actually forget it we'll call rowena or something i dont want you to get hurt. and claire is like dad. for real. just fuck off and go kill the werewolves or whatev i got this. and when they get back from the hunt they come back and jack is like fast asleep beside claire, who is ofc completely fine, and deans like did nothing happen??? claires like WHO do you think youre talking to of course its all fine he was a perfect angel (snicker snicker) because he likes ME. like jack goes down so easy for claire hes just always so calm and happy with her, never fusses, dean is like WHAT gives like not wanting to admit hes a little jealous that jack has never tried to laserbeam HER and shes like what can i say? sibling privilege. we have an understanding :) like father like daughter shes just a natural caregiver. dean is so proud. cas is so proud. they are so happy. oh my god. they love their kids so much.

in conclusion. dean and cas would be the most loving parents a baby nephilim could hope for. just today MY dad said to me that parents never want their kids to experience the pain that they have experienced themselves. he said that bc i was upset he wouldnt teach me how to change the light fixture in my closet bc there was a live wire and he didnt want me to get shocked like he has in the past BUT THE SAME PRINCIPLE APPLIES where, i feel like ESPECIALLY for dean, they would do their utmost to raise jack (AND claire) with the care that was so lacking from their own childhood experiences.

dean certainly tried with sam and did a good job, but he was a kid himself then and wasnt fully equipped to provide all the emotional support a child needs. now, as an adult in a supportive, committed relationship, dean will have the chance to REALLY devote himself in the way he was always meant to.

and cas...well... whats more human than caring for your child? everyday his love deepens--his love for dean, his love for their little house, his love for the honeybees and the clouds in the sky. all things he was never meant to have any feelings for, he just loves and loves and loves more because of the little life he has with dean and claire and now his little baby. everyday he becomes more himself because of his love for his family, and he pours all of that back into them. he is just so adoring. he listens to every sound jack makes with keen attention, committing every nonsensical syllable to memory, because its all important. he wants to make sure jack knows how loved he is and how recognized he is and how appreciated he is, just for existing. he wants jack to feel seen and known, in the ways he never was by his own father.

the way dean and cas are with baby jack is that they try. fundamentally thats what its all about. just trying. because u love so much. thank u

#not me writing a fuckng nonsensical dossier..... SCREAM #this dont make no sense luv x SORRY.....#i love you the universe #anyhoo...well..heres...whatever this is LOL THANNKS SARAH LOVE U SORRY U WAITED 3 DAYS FOR WHATEVER THIS IS JGFDKGHFDKGAGF #castielswift #ask

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loisfreakinglane · 4 years

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tscc, dark angel, angel

G A S P! SHOCK! A DEEP DIVE! lol thank you

tscc:

Favorite Male Character- DUDE THATS SUCH A HARD QUESTION suffice it to say this is either john or derek depending on when you ask, buuuuuuut terminator in my face i say john

Favorite Female Character- JESSEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Least Favorite Character- i. struggle to think of anybody i found bad or boring or anything???? oh okay you know what i have eternal mixed feelings about the character we know as eileen/alan/abraham and the weird choices around them. yeah thats all i got

Favorite Ship- derek/jesse my heart breaks and i am just a mess forevermore

Favorite Friendship- lmao there is no way to call it a friendship it is not a friendship but riley/jesse is so very fucked up in so many trillions of ways but god i’m obsessed with them......... also riley/john i would have fucking loved to see them have a real relationship, platonic or otherwise, their dynamic is SO GOOD and the possibility of their dynamic when they were both open about themselves.... fUCK

Favorite Quote- there are so many off the top of my head but like the biggest gutpunch to me personally was when jesse called derek out for his suicide attempt, asking what was he doing there when she found him and he just says ~i was waiting for you~ THO THO THO ALTERNATIVELY when they’re trying to get ellison to help program john henry and he says- you wanna teach it commands? start with the first ten.

Worst Character Death (if any)- uhhhhhh i think i like all of the character deaths on this show- i mean rileys death K I L L S me but i’m not angry about it and it was incredibly well done. dereks? maybe? i’m not actually mad about it but it was very abrupt. like i get it tho? OH WAIT I HAVE A REAL ONE friendgirl of johns who killed herself in the plotline that was never resolved bc of the writers strike. that was horrifying and ultimately we never even got a reason (beyond the obvious one they hinted at)

This made me so happy you have no idea Moment- what on this show makes anybody happy????? ever?????????????????????? uhhhhh. fuck. i mean the reveal about who riley is is SO GOOD i’m just always happy when the pieces slot together and we see new depth?

Saddest Moment- so many things on this show make me sob but like peak among them bc like you can feel your soul screaming bc you have no idea what could be done differently, when riley and john both ask the other if they’ve got anything they want to tell them, and they both say no they don’t EVEN THO THEY BOTH KNOW WHAT THE OTHER ONE WANTS TO SAY BUT THE ACTUALLY SAYING IT PART WOULD CHANGE LITERALLY EVERYTHING UGH FUCK KFUCK FUCKCCCKCK

Favorite Location- the stupid future tunnels where i want to see what happens next in the series finale FUCK

dark angel:

Favorite Male Character- uhhhhhhhhh even tho him being 95% of the tags every time i check have grated all of my nerves, yeah i still love alec the most when it comes to dudes

Favorite Female Character- max is a forever and ever and ever girl

Least Favorite Character- ames white. i don’t remember much about that plotline but i remember a lot of UGHS and groaning

Favorite Ship- cindy/diamond i’m mad forever I KNOW THEY WERE ONLY ONE EPISODE BUT ME/THEM FOREVER

Favorite Friendship- max/cindy eternally, the best ride or dies ever

Favorite Quote- fight the power, protect the downtrodden. blah blah, woof woof. ALSO max’s whole little once upon a time story about tinga...... :(

Worst Character Death (if any)- diamonds death was painful and i hated it and it was a dumb thing anyway. like at least she got revenge but MEH TAKE IT BACK I DON’T WANT THESE. worse character resurrection is zack they should have just let him stay dead instead of turning him into a robot (i like zack this isn’t a slam against him but it was an epic death for him) OH OH ALSO ANNIE FISHER she never should have died that was dumb and a waste of kandyse mcclure

This made me so happy you have no idea Moment- when cindy and max cheated the money off of those assholes and then beat them up, still in their itty bitty sparkly outfits and left with such flair :) but just also max forever........ cindy/max forever.......... mine own heart.

Saddest Moment- when the show decided to make clones a thing breaking the whole internal logic of the entire first season aka them not knowing what the kids looked like :( I SAD

Favorite Location- i always thought the jam pony set was really fun. i love that the whole last episode was set there.

angel:

Favorite Male Character- angel, with a side called gunn or connor YAH I LIKE CONNOR I SAID IT YOU CAN ALL SUCK IT

Favorite Female Character- cordelia chase forever and EVER nobody else on planet earth holds a candle to her

Least Favorite Character- look i love christian kane i do, hes amazing in leverage- but man lindsey......... hes fine when hes snarking at lilah tho i’m with lilah in that groaning and screaming at wr&h being so blatantly misogynistic in preferring weak ass flip flopper lindsey over LILAH. also lindsey in s5 blew they should have spent the money they wasted on him and eve and adam wahtever and just paid for stephanie to be a main

Favorite Ship- cangel OTP ETERNAL

Favorite Friendship- angel/gunn is such a good dynamic that you can feeeeeel the show dropping (along with so much of their gunn-centric content bc they didn’t know how to write for him and never thought hm maybe we should hire some black writers)

Favorite Quote- it’s a cliche at this point and theres many great quotes on this show but it really does hit home- if nothing we do matters, all that matters is what we do. cause thats all there is.

Worst Character Death (if any)- freds death is vile trash garbage and they should feel like vile trash garbage for doing her like that

This made me so happy you have no idea Moment- cordelia and angel falling asleep with baby connor between them talking about how to spend a big payday........ such marrieds content..........

Saddest Moment- ‘is that it? am i done?’ idk if this would have been a SADDEST MOMENT before glenn quinn passed away but it sure hits hard now. it also hits hard when they replay it in you’re welcome right before cordelia dies

Favorite Location- the hyperion hotel is one of my favorite sets in all of television. i just wish we’d explored more of it, and that they hadn’t ditched it in favor of that new wolfram&hart set, which was honestly very very boring to me

#i answered that all really fast and didn't reread it #so like i'm sorry if its incomprehensible #if i think too hard on any of these points i would literally never be able to publish this ask #I'M REALLY BAD AT MEMES #lexmurphy #meme

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revol-lover · 4 years

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i know i have become a shit post queen but this site is a good place to just dump thoughts when i’m too lazy to actually write them down so don’t mind me. also i’m “ok enough”. like i’m not ok-ok but i’m not like badly not ok.

ok? anyway.

so idk what it is. being raised by emotionally distant parents esp my mom or the depression thats probably also related to that but man i just feel so empty for such long periods of time. empty, or maybe detached is a better word. and just really really restless. and also that when i have good emotions, i dont feel them all that much. idk. sometimes i feel like i’m on the outside looking in on my life. i have a lot of feelings but then at the same time i dont. maybe because i repress a lot then it all builds up and explodes. idk. its awful though.

i also feel like i have two very distinct sides to me. half of me is like fuck this shit i just want to self destruct but i wont because i’m too responsible to do that and the other half is like wow life is so interesting i am a spirit not a body and i want to be an enlightened being. neither of those sides of me is less me than the other. neither is a farce or anything but its fucking hard for those two sides of me to coexist. the only middle ground, which is probably like 1/3 of the time how i feel, is blah. neutral to absolutely everything.

and i think ive talked about this before but before the whole corona/quarantine thing i was at this extreme level of DONE with feeling isolated in my life, esp as a sahm. done with falling into the trap of believing being a mom was my whole identity (and its definitely a part of it, of course. but i think its unhealthy for moms to think its all we are) like i totally lost myself for a while. my daughters birth being traumatic and her having potential life long complications (and ‘potential’ meaning, her diagnosis is so complicated. theres never going to be a time where we get a real “all clear”. some kids have developed seizures again way down the road, especially at certain ages where kids go through a lot of development.) and then ofc just raising a child with all of that going on, plus normal toddler craziness, plus having a kid who is super hyper and smart and amazing but parenting after having a difficult relationship with your own mother is one of those things that is really hard and not talked about enough. i never feel like im doing enough. i never feel like she likes me.i know thats so stupid but i really am that insecure about my parenting, no matter how hard i try. i just want my child to love me and sometimes toddlers do things that make you feel like crap (ex ‘i dont want u mom i want daddy!’ and i can rationalize it, dad’s the exclusive parent. i’m just here all the time like the furniture. i get it.) and its just a big complicated thing with my emotions. not what i was trying to say tho i got off track.

anyway the isolation thing. so i had a plan. a plan!!! i have this one awesome long time friend, honestly my only friend outside of my husband who knows me like the good bad and ugly, has known me for a very long time, and has been there for me through some really tough shit. he’s like the brother i never had, truly. (i have a biological brother but we dont really talk.) so i talked to him about things i was going through and he’s also been going through a challenging time in his life and he told me he’d help me get out there. we were going to force me to learn to socialize and make friends in “real life” by putting me in those situations. we were going to go to some poetry club. a show downtown. like i was ready. then corona happened. and my already crawling out of my skin isolation got worse because hey we cant do anything now, not even see my one friend.

so yeah. i was fine in the beginning of all this because i figured, hey by may itll be over! then hey by june! then maybe 4th of july. which has become, my daughter is so excited about her birthday party in august and i dont even know if i can throw her one and i dont know how to deal with this or explain it to her.

i know this is major first world problems and im all over the place and i document this dumb shit because i hope one day i’ll be so far past it and be able to look back and think well wow i made it through 2020 but yeah idk

i think part of it is i’m turning 27 in two weeks and my saturn return thing is just getting so close and i’m starting to see the beginning of shit in my life crumbling underneath me. like i know what i gotta do. i have to put myself out there. i have to get out of my safety zone. and i have to use my gifts to help others not just sit here drowning in my self pity but obviously its hard to challenge yourself and put yourself out there, literally, during a pandemic.

and the last point which is just something that boggles my mind about myself that i dont understand. like i’m definitely depressed. i have very bad anxiety too. and even though i can be extremely self pitying and go into like a black hole of sadness, i still dont let myself do bad things. which is good, obviously. but its iike i’ve been recovered from self injury for probably about ten years but some days i am so deep in my shitty feelings or empty feelings that i just want to do it again but i cant. theres something in me that wont let me. and i guess im glad for that, obviously. i guess my life/universe/guardian angel is trying to force me to face shit for real and not just have shitty coping mechanisms but idk. like it was a bad outlet but idk. sometimes, just sometimes, i feel like it did more for me than just writing things out. which is bullshit because it did nothing for me except give me a bunch little permanent reminders of shitty times. but idk. that’s my brain for you. sometimes i want to just let it all go and be a mess in my feelings and not care if i’m ok but then my brain is like nope bitch you cant do that. youre not 17 anymore, get up.

and i know some people would read this (well no - no one would read all this lmao but in a theoretical sense) and think like, oh did you try therapy or oh maybe try meds and the thing is

therapy - i tried it. i liked the idea of it. bad fit with the therapist tho. didnt like being kicked out after 45 min (which i understand but bitch i need more than that to explain one problem) and it felt weird to be told by her, that she felt like i had a good handle on things. cause i dont really feel that way and i feel like she didnt have much to tell me in terms of how to idk fix myself besides journaling, which i’ll give her. it helps

meds: i i dont really want to go that route yet because my body is really sensitive to medication. like i dont even take bc or anything like that. however i think ive decided that since its super legal and obtainable i might try pot once we are able to move into our own place. so if anyone did actually read this far and have experience with that (esp w anxiety) please enlighten me. i had some samples of some cbd stuff and it was amazing for my anxiety but it’s way too expensive for me to use consistently.

this has been a very long shit post but i feel better so theres that.

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rqs902 · 4 years

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a lin ran feature :’) i respect hes self-aware about his need to be more than cute to succeed. lin ran has always given me a vibe that hes very serious and tough on himself. he looks soft but has high demands and seems very determined to get what he wants.

im not worried about li hao bc hes surrounded by a bunch of kids who can teach him how to dance LOL not just lin ran but like jin fan and tianci too

what is this pole and could they not move it LOL

lol so jin fan and tianci did a flippy trick and we just gonna pretend like it didnt happen lol okay

ugh so jin fan kinda got to do more dancing than other stages but i was still hoping itd be more!!! but man lin ran is really killing with his stage presence here

leave it to ycw to speak loudly and vocally about his friends being injured so people recognize their suffering

LOL lin ran’s sassy “im not stupid!!” but yea the third stage was really rough for him, so im glad he was able to recover

LOL lin ran again casually threatening the production team to be like “please edit this stage well” “please don’t cut our segment short” LOL

lol yea im not surprised at this point that li hao won even tho it shouldve been lin ran. youku is def making these rankings up. lol gjm did you even look at lin ran’s facial expressions???? lol making up excuses for youku wat

lin mo praising lin ran and giving him encouragement like a true bro bc he knows how hard lin ran worked for this stage. i wonder if he designed the stage rigging

AY I RESPECT OSCAR. hes a good kid and someone whos willing to speak his mind to address problems, thats awesome. they need someone to do that. he’s direct with the problems but also directly follows by complimenting them and saying how great they could be if they pulled through LOL hes still a kid so hes trying not to offend them but i respect his courage, warmth and dependability.

LOL XUE EN DESTROYED FRANKLIN HAHAHAHAHAHHA and he goes all cutesy after like he has no idea the power he holds LOL but im glad they showed some footage of xue en also teaching the other kids dance. cto skills whooo

ycw still bringing up shiwei? hes either very caught up in his feelings still (which is probably not a good thing at this point) or hes just a really dedicated friend... or youku is just purposefully using shiwei’s elimination for dramatic effect.

im surprised they didnt highlight cxh more bc youku seems to like him, and conversely they gave xzx a ton of time for his stage and let xzx win.

XUE EN IS SO HANDSOME

okay i just needed to get that out of my system

but also im kinda glad syh is in this group bc hes the only one who i will not laugh at when singing this song. ycw and oscar talking about drinks and whiskey??? yall are babies?? also this song does NOT match this dance well at all. i see why they didnt like it when they previewed it LOL also i see now why i saw an edit on twitter of this dance over “retreat” from qcyn bc that song actually FIT the tie pulling move.. versus this im just like ??? seems so out of place??

also their voices all sound weird :\ maybe its just too high of a register for ycw and cxh? or maybe theyre just not very good at singing....? lol

giving xue en the only multi colored tie? THEY KNEW.

im just happy that the party group was able to make their stage so well that other kids were regretting not choosing them bc ycw was really struggling to get people to join him...

LOL CSP BEING SILLY TO ZHAN YU THIS IS THE FRIENDSHIP I NEED

LOL XZX AND LIN MO are adorable together

im glad that they spent time to say zhaohao has improved, i feel like hes gotten zero recognition so far. i feel like ycw winning is the only win i am willing to believe so far. (couldve been xue en too tho)

A FEATURE ON XIKAN’S FRIENDSHIP WITH LUO ZHENG omggggggggggggggg luo zheng the sweetest ge, leaving all the good things for xikan whatt ugh but luo zheng is like literally going actor route so sad that he still wants to be on stage but has no opportunities. im grateful theyre still so close that xikan starts crying just thinking about him

xikan being involved in the stage design and costuming and all makes me think of lin ran but also makes me think of cai xukun. cxk always gets so involved in every little detail to seek perfection

interesting that they focused it all on zry and lxk........ but at least highlighted xikan’s fun side

lol they purposefully cut in fan yu screaming zry’s name and ycw yelling cyc....

but also tbh xikan’s voice was not very strong during his high note and i know hes giving 110% into his dancing so im guessing he doesnt have much air left at that point but i was kinda disappointed it couldve been better. BUT he still did a good job. i thought the part where they ripped off his jacket couldve been more impactful? but it felt like it was just randomly in the middle of the rap break and he doesnt sing again until much later so it was like why did you change clothes there?

tbh this song isnt that exciting? so im surprised that they wanted it that badly?

i saw spoilers that fan yu was gonna be there and its adorable and i love their friendship but lol zuo ye being like i shouldve asked all my gege’s to come.... lol aka they know its kinda unfair for fan yu to be winning votes for zry

im grateful all the trainees are supportive of xikan and they purposefully showed a bunch of popular kids cheering for xikan

gosh that injury on his nose, you know hes put too much energy and is too invested into his dance part when he rips his own face like that :\

i saw spoilers that renyu would win and someone did the math that it makes zero sense for their group’s score to be that low, but i didnt expect their score to be THAT low.... goodness wtf thats definitely rigged, i see why people were mad.

renyu winning is either entirely rigged bc youku wants him to debut or people are really just voting for him bc fan yu was there and that’s not fair either. i love renyu (and his friendship with fan yu) but there’s no way renyu actually won that many votes on a stage where he didnt really show his vocals that much and he messed up his dancing and he was surrounded by kids who danced much better and wouldve made him look not great. this makes zero sense. and the fact that ycw is the only winner that made sense is probably bc youku was like well we cant make it too obvious that its all a joke. but really, its all a joke.

yes i love that renyu worked hard and stayed up all night but can we talk about how xikan does that for every stage? and renyu’s just now started to do so. renyu just came into this competition less prepared, so his improvement is easier to see.

i still think if youku wants to debut renyu, theyll kick out lin ran from top 7, but can we talk about how lin ran put in all the effort to design and perfect his stage? how he teaches others to dance and pushes his group mates to shine as a leader and how he has truly one of the most memorable and formidable stage presences on this whole show? people say the debuting group will need renyu’s voice but how can you really say that renyu fits and is prepared and deserves to debut more than lin ran?

renyu is adorable and talented but let’s be real, as a vocalist, hes not like you zhangjing, hes not like zhao lei, hes not like zhao pinlin, hes not proven that he really fits to be a main vocal in a boy band. youku cannot force us into believing that he can fit that role without any evidence to prove his worth. its like theyre trying to jam someone into that role and its like renyu’s their closest bet, but even tho he still doesnt quite fit, theyre just gonna shove him in anyway. this is what happens when you only give attention to people who are dancers and dont give actual attention to people who are actually boy band main vocal material.... /COUGH ZHAN YU or even cui shaopeng??

how can you possibly believe that renyu got 173 but their average was 134? none of xikan’s groups numbers make sense:

how did shengen suddenly drop so much? youku has been touting him this whole time into the top 10. shouldnt more of xikan’s fans voted for xuyu? bc he literally begged during the last elim for xuyu to make it this far. xuyu wasnt even dead last in the elim ranking but here he gets last place by like 15 votes??? when everyone else’s vote difference is like half of that at max?

you expect me to believe lin ran only got 127 after he literally descended from the ceiling as an angel? that doesnt attract attention? how are both zuo ye and hu wenxuan so low? wenxuan was literally center and had bright pink hair, and in a song style that suited him, you cant tell me he didnt shine on this stage. xikan tied with xzx???? beneath a kou cong and su xunlun tie??? no way

theres one week left and youku’s getting desperate to make it look like whatever they’re going to make happen will be a natural result, that this competition is up in the air and no one is safe, but it just seems very questionable to me.

sooo does this mean there arent gonna be elims before the finals or what, we just dont see them announce who gets to perform? im assuming not all 32 kids will take part? and theres not gonna be a mentor collab stage? it wouldve been cool to see han yu and cheng xiao with the kids. there were 3 stages between the first and second elimination but no third elim and no mentor stage? its a mad rush to the end, honestly.

oh well, we still love these CHILDREN

ps: if youve been following my rants, i honestly feel like i have had a really positive impression of zheng renyu from the start and i really do like him. he makes really good songs and his voice is very nice and his friendships are pure and his attitude is commendable. 凄美地 and 當帷幕落下 and 後來的我們 are some of my favorite favorite songs to listen to from this entire show, like probably 3 of my top 5, and a good deal of that is because of renyu and his voice. but im just trying to be realistic and renyu is not in my ideal debuting boy band.

#rants #you would think that with the money and fans that kids like lxk hwx lm are bringing to youku that youku would treat them better

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ursoself-satisfying · 5 years

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Brian May takes a lot of photos n its gr8

omgomg I just thought of something n not to be a whole ass ho here but it's cute as FUCK heres some hardcore current Brian may feels for u

So Brian's on Instagram a lot right?? Well just imagine his social media when ur together,,, hes always posting lil things u do cus ur relationship is so new n hes so enthralled w everything about u it's the honeymoon phase n he loves it n his feed for a while is almost all u,, every other post is something to do w u it's about u teaching him to do things or him teaching u things n taking each other places n him being excited about it all

Then its sweet things like little thoughts he has about u n pics of u in the morning or stereos he takes of u when ur out in the garden n the sun is hazy n soft on ur hair or it's a random picture of ur hand n just him saying something vague n a bit ridiculous the way he does,, it's not v often anything explicit or anything too private or lovey dovey no hes a respectable man n he likes to keep that to himself but every once in a while like on a birthday or holiday or anniversary is the like he posts a collection of photos of u most of which r silly n poorly framed but they're so genuine n candid n they're so full of love like it's just u at a cafe n theres nothing special about this date but he just thought u looked absolutely radiant n he insisted u let him take a photo of u n share ur beauty w the world

Whether ur an artist or not he also is ur number one hype man ok like anything u wanna do he 110% supports u n it can be overwhelming at times lol but it's all from love like if ur an artist hes constantly posting about ur latest work n sharing it w people n wanting u to get all the credit n attention he believes u deserve n hes just so proud!!!! Hes so happy ur successful n he wants to help u anyway he can!!!

Other things he posts would be like cheeky photos of gifts he gets u or things he surprises u w,, but mostly its things u do together places u go n see,, other times its u teaching him to knit n he takes a video of it or its him teaching u to chart stars n ur just so darn cute when ur focusing he cant help but wanna photograph u

Besides posting this stuff he also just loves to take pictures of u all the time, this is either just on his phone or whatever is close but he personally likes to use his stereo n this leads to all sorts of impromptu photo sessions of u in the garden or the kitchen n it's all v sweet n silly n domestic n u certainly dont mind being the center of attention or a muse but then sometimes it's a bit more private,, its pictures taken in the early morning when the suns just barely come up n ur still asleep n ur bare n shivering in the cold fresh air n he just loves how gentle n unassuming u look when ur asleep ur like a little angel on a cloud n he adores u n the soft rise n fall of ur chest n the little puffs of air that leave ur mouth when u snore lightly

Those r his fav pics, personally, the ones when ur so blissfully unaware of how gorgeous u r,, such unintentional ethereal beauty,, it just amazes him n leaves him breathless everytime n hes so in love n so soft for u n he keeps these pictures close to his heart his precious secret treasure he doesnt share w anyone

On the flip side theres also some saucy boudoir photos he takes when the two of u get hot n heavy n this collection is one he frequently revisits ;;)) its photos of u panting on top of him giving the camera a tired blissed out smile n then of u beneath him w ur lips in an 'o' shape n ur eyes rolling back n they're all a bit blurry,, then theres another of u posing for him w ur legs spread n showing off ur love for him n then u from behind w this mischievous look in ur eyes n then some w ur face buried in the sheets n drool pooling around ur cheeks,,

Theres some of him too from ur perspective,, him looking over u w his curls thrown back or him beneath u biting his lip n smiling shyly,, theres a few selfies w him thrusting into u from behind or some v soft post coital ones of u curled up on his chest n him sleeping soundly,, or some closer photos of his larger hand splayed out on ur ass or some fuzzy shots of u trying to get the hickies on ur neck,, theres some V nsfw ones as well w his face between ur legs or vice versa or hands cupping things or close ups of ur hips grining against his,,, he loves it all he loves every photo the two of u take together especially these n he saves them for the days hes away for work n misses u like no other

But wait!!! Then theres the VIDEOS cus ofc hes constantly taking soft videos of u either holding animals or gardening or cooking or just reading or sleeping or maybe playing music or he loves the one he has of u dancing uwu but theres also some of the two of u fucking def,,, he set up the camera one night so it could record the bed n u both agreed to this n were excited if not a bit nervous n u had to coax him down from feeling like he had to put on any show n just to focus on making love to u n he did just that n u def think something about the thought of being able to see this later or just the scandal of having a sex tape turned him on cus it was some of the best sex of ur life,, n he takes it w him when hes on tour n frequently watches it when hes alone lol sometimes not even to get off just to see u n hear u in this intimate n remember exactly how u sound, tho he knew he could never forget it

Speaking of when hes away on tour,, hes fond of receiving nudes but not so much sending (hes a bit insecure even tho u tell him all the time how gorgeous n sexy he is it's the age gap it gets to him) but every once in a while he sends a nice one of himself for u n u just adore it u treasure it n keep it close cus it's so rare n hes just such a GOD n u just love him sm,, but anyway not only do u send him plenty of teasing nudes when hes gone but sometimes when u kno hes going to be away for an especially long period of time u go get professional boudoir photos taken n u sneak them into his bag so he sees them when he lands n he just cannot even wait to use them hes already getting hard knowing what's sitting in his suitcase for him to unpack later,,, he also appreciates the effort u put into getting this photos done n that u take the time to make physical copies for the old man n his old fashioned ways (tho he cant say he wasnt jealous of the fact someone else got to take these photos even if he does love the surprise)

I think if he or when he figures out snapchat he would love it n it would be the primary way the two of u spoke during tours n such,, waking up to a good morning snap of him in bed n sending back an equally teasing one n that just keeps going thru the day n its quick n easy n it fulfills his need to see u

He still loves to look back thru his phone n look at all the pictures he has of u (in an organized folder u showed him how to make) not even the saucy ones mostly the soft ones the ones of u just living ur life in the most beautiful natural way it's the ones of u in ur pjs w a toothbrush in ur mouth or first thing in the morning w bags under ur eyes or midday of u on the couch half asleep w ur lunch sitting half eaten besides u n reruns on tv or u concentrating on something u love or u driving or sleeping or getting dressed or undressed just anything u do he loves (not in a creepy way rip) n that's the stuff he thinks about n looks at most frequently when hes away he still loves the NSFW stuff he rly rly does trust me but he loves u n all that u r on an everyday basis the most it's not just the sex or the sensual moments it's the love n the domesticity of it all

Anyway he loves to take photos of u n he loves seeing photos of u n receiving photos of u,, he doesn't like photos being taken of him as much but he does love when u take photos n he loves that u love to take photos n God just hes a sentimental old man who cherishes tangible memories n loves u n what more could u want ::""))

just, FUCK ,,Brian n taking photos of u ok that's all that's the post fuck fuck me up oof

DUDE I DIDNT EVEN RLY GET INTO THE IG PART OF IT like him trying to find a balance of posting about n then on top of that any drama that unfolds bc of that!!! Like u having to help him learn the intricacies of social media or people being awful bc ur so young n him just dealing w all that!!! Finding ways to ignore the bs n the rude comments n then ur own ig any drama that comes to u by way of him posting about u or just all that type of stuff!!!! That's a whole nother discussion!!!! But I adore it all the love the angst the soft feels!!!!! I just love him uwu

#she has a voice!!!#bohemian rhapsody #queen #borhap #bohrhap #new blog #brian may #fanfic #mine #nut #queen x reader #brian may x reader #current brian may x reader #current brian may

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fatrainbowmermaidunicorn · 6 years

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Lost In Japan (Jimin x You)

A/N: this idea just popped in my head while I am taking a bath, and I rushed through my skincare routine just so I can jot this down 😂 anyway, I am going to combined this request with another. This being part one and the other part two. but it can also be read as a oneshot. I had wanted to do a story based on this song ever since I heard it (Lost In Japan by Shawn Mendes) bcs it just reminds me of the feeling you get at night on your holidays when you are just strolling around after a long day of exploring the city and met someone exciting ❤ and I dont know from what country you are anon, and I am not from Japan either, its just based on this song so you can imagine elsewhere ❤ Sorry if this is not what you have in mind

MASTERLIST

A/N : And also, I’m trying a new thing here and you are in no way obligated to do it but if any of you like my stories and want to give some support, why not buy me a coffee? ☕💜

A/N: I cant just keep a good thing to myself, so for those who are looking for a variety and affordable BTS and KPOP merchandise. visit this link right here okay

"Ahhh finally!" Jimin dropped his carry on on the floor and lie down in the middle of the bed, spreading out as wide as he can after taking off his stuffy jacket and mask. Airport arrivals are fun. Fun seeing their fans coming out all the way just to catch a glimpse of them and to welcomed them to their country. But as much as it is fun, it is also damn tiring. Especially when they are mobbed by crazy fans. Jimin is thankful he and his brothers managed to get out from the commotion as fast as they could and arrived safely at the hotel. And he is more thankful that they have individual rooms now.

Dont get him wrong. Sharing a room with Taehyung or Jungkook or even one of his hyungs are fun. Theres someone he can talk to and do fun vlive clips with, but sometimes he needs some space without anyone breathing down his neck too. Times like this, where he juat want to rest his tired body.

Japan.

A country they are so familiar with already.

Two days of concert here and three days of free days for him and his brothers to roam about before they fly back to Korea for their other schedules.

Jimin cant wait to shop, sightsee and of course eat. He had learn long ago to treat every tour like a vacation in order to make the whole journey less tiring, more fun and less stressed. Just like what the others told him, it doesnt matter as long as they have fun performing, their fans will surely have fun with them too.

But Jimin can feel that something more exciting is going to happen this time.

He can just feel it.

/////

"Y/N, YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE THIS!"

Y/N calmly look up from the table shes wiping. Shes so used to her bestfriend yapping around like crazy. She used to get excited at first, but now, she learns that its better fir her to actually hear the news first. Mika can get super excited about a rock for all she knows.

"What is it that I wont believe Mika?" Y/N laughs. Thank god the cafe she works in has less customer today.

"BTS is coming! For a two days concert!" Mika shrieked.

"Okay... and?" She give her friend a short glimpse and turn back to her task.

"And?! What do you mean and?!" Mika went around and shakes her shoulders.

"Mika, they come here fir a concert every year! Sometimes even twice a year. Its not really a huge news," Y/N rolls her eyes.

"Oh right, I forgot," she giggles.

"You forgot they have a tour here every year? Every year that you become crazy everytime its announced?" Y/N eyed her friend, tapping her foot.

"No. I forgot about the news that you will not believe. The great news is...." she paused for dramatic effect before jumping and yelling, almost breaking Y/N's eardrum. "I got us two VIP tickets and a special fansign invite for both days! Both! Aaaahhhhhh!"

"Oh, thats great Mika! No wonder you are excited!" Y/N's smile grew. Mika has been trying to get tickets every year but she never made it. Online or physically lining up, she never gets the chance to get one. Y/N wonders how hard she work to get the tickets this time.

"Well, arent you?" Mika looks at her weirdly. "I know you are an ARMY too. And arent you excited? You can actually meet them, and converse with them! What if they fall in love with one of us?!" Mika exclaimed, already excited at the thought.

"Well, I am an ARMY," Y/N laughs at her friends cuteness. "But I only like them as a talented idol Mika. I dont even know what to talk to them about. And falling in love?" She giggles. "That only happens in fan fictions my friend. They will most probably already forget about you once the next fan came in view," she shakes her head and continue to clean the table, making Mika pouts.

"Sometimes I hate how practical you are. Cant you just let me dream a little?" She crosses her arm across her chest. "But still, you are coming with me right? Riggght?"

"Well, if you are willing to take me, then of course Mika," Y/N grins. "Of course I'll go with you. Who knows, maybe one of them will really fall in love with me," she giggles at the ridiculous statement.

Or she thought so.

/////

"Lets go people. We can do this!" Namjoon calls out behind the curtains, a few minutes before they are meeting their lucky fans who won the fansign event. After some peptalk and group hugs they went out and start the event.

The crowd is packed and loud, as usual. Girls screaming out their names and waving, trying to get their attention. Each of them did they usual routine, smiling, asking basic questions, answering the questions given to them, making aegyo, handshakes, posing for photos, wearing cute headbands and all sorts of fan service. Jimin is enjoying his time meeting his fan. He loves the attention they gives him and he appreciate all the support they gave to him all these years.

"Next!" The security calls out so the line will move as the fans switched to the next members. Jimin reaches out for the album and booklet in front of him, still looking down at thr album, flipping to the post-it where he should place his signature. But the post-it came empty, its just there as a mark to where he should place his signature. Iy seems the fan has no questions for him, which is a first. Their fans always have multiple questions for them to answer

"No question?" He looks up and immediately stopped blinking. In front of him stood the most beautiful angel he has ever since. Well, shes an angel to him, at least as everyone else seems to be perfectly normal.

"N-no question to ask?" He stuttered and mentally slapping himself. Shit, what is wrong with me. You are Park Jimin, composed yourself!

"Oh," she laughs, the most beautiful sound Jimin has ever heard. "No. Just an autograph will do,"

"Uh.. o-okay," with shaky hands Jimin put down his signature. God, what is wrong with me. I have met so many girls before and I am never like this. Calm down Park Jimin, composed yourself before she thinks you are weird. Come on, say something!

Jimin look around at the laughing fans by around him, talking to to the other members, talking to Taehyung and Jungkook, who is on his right and left side and he realized how quiet and awkward he is with this fan.

"O-oh right. I am Jimin. Whats your name?" Introducing yourself at your own fansign? Are you stupid Park Jimin?

She giggles.

And Jimin's heart skipped a beat. How unusual.

"I know you are Jimin. How can I come here and not know you," she leans forward to a whispering gesture, making Jimin's heart thumped faster at her close proximity. "ARMYs will kill me if I dont," she giggles more and leans back to her normal position in front of him. "And my name is Y/N,"

Jimin smile. How bold. How interesting. And what a name. Beautiful. Just like her.

"And Y/N.. how come you have no questions to ask? Arent ARMYs always curious?" He taps her post it to show the blank paper and Y/N shakes her head.

"No. Not really," she smiles. "Nothing that I want to know,"

"Just nothing for me or for everyone?" Jimin feels the need to ask. He felt like he needs to know if Y/N is just not interested in him or she really doesnt have a question for everyone.

"Well, its not just you. I dont have a question for everyone," Y/N's smile got bigger. Jimin raised an eyebrow curiously.

"Oh? And why is that?"

"Well, because everything you are allowed to tell me, it will be published in the news, or articles or something anyway. And if I asked you a real question, you wont be allowed to answer truthfully anyway. Isnt that right?" she laughs. "So no. No questions,"

Jimin was stunt. Never has anyone ever throw that cold hard truth to his face. Its true. Whatever they are showing and potraying in public, the character that they show, all of it is something that they want their fans to see. There are still parts of them that their fans doesnt know. A part of them, rhat is the real them that they didnt show the world. Mouth agape, Jimin looks at Y/N's face, not knowing what else to say.

His gut js right. Jimin is right, fron the moment he looks up to her face, he knew theres definitely something special about her.

"Well, whats your real question?" Jimin finally find his voice and the bravery he needed.

"When you are allowed to answer it, then I'll ask about it," she giggles, just in time for the security to shout next, and Y/N waves a hand and move aside before Jimin could say anything else. Y/N move to Taehyung, leaving Jimin speechless, and fascinated.

Y/N... hmmm.. his feelings is right then. Japan is going to be interesting this time around.

/////

Jimin knew he is going to see Y/N again at the concert. Everyone who attends the fanmeet has a VIP ticket, which is a particularly small section that is made special for them right in front of the stage. He is sure if he look hard enough, he will see her. Shes too beautiful, and too special to him now for Jimin not to notice.

And sure enough, the moment their went on stage, Jimin saw her face, smiling brightly with her Army bomb in hand, giggling with her friend. A surge or energy runs through him. Jimin suddenly feels like he needs to do the very best tonight, no, extra best tonight. He needs to show her that he is Jimin, and he is up here, looking at her and apprently, only at her.

Jimin never kept her eyes off her, which is a little hard to do considering he needs to sing and dance and converse with his fans, well, other fans too. And its a stranger feeling for him, when a pang of jealousy hits him hard when he saw Y/N waving and taking photos of Taehyung, jumping and singing along to the other members' part.

What the hell is wrong with me? Shes a fan! She didnt pay for the tickets only to see you alone Jimin.

Without realizing, Jimin suddenly feek the need to futher make his existabce known. Known to Y/N. And keeping his eyes only on her, he starts to show off his dancing skills, making extra sexy moves and flirty gestures, which of course, make the packed stadium roared with cheers but reveiving weird looks from the other members.

It doesnt matter.

The crowd. The music. The members.

What matters is that if this will make Y/N looks at him, it was all worth it.

At least he hope she understand the sign hes trying to tell her.

/////

"Woah, what is wrong with Chim today?" Mika stares at the satge, mouth dropped opened. "I mean, I know he is sexy and all, but thats like being possesed with a sexy spirit or something," she points to Jimin who was grinding on the stage floor. "I dont remember the cheography being like that,"

Y/N shrugs.

"Maybe its a concert only special performance," Y/N justified.

"How are you so calm? He is even looking at you while doing all that. Oh my god, he really is!" Mika jumped, waving her Army bomb with excitement.

"Not at me Mika. My direction. Our direction. He cant even see the crowd with all those blinding lights. And look around you, theres thousand of people here," she laughs. "You think he wouls pick me out from the crowd?"

"Hey, you never know. You personally met him at the fansign. Maybe he remembers you," Mika giggles at how practical her friend. Girl, dream a little!

"Hello," Y/N rolls her eyes. "Everybody here went to the fansign Mika. This is the VIP section!"

"Oh my god. I forgot! Maybe you are right. But hey, its not wrong to imagine!" Mika laughs, Y/N joining her.

"Stop imagining useless things and just enjoy the rest of the concert!" Y/N yells through the noise, laughing. "Besides, its Park Jimin, being sexy and flirty on stage is his thing. I dont think thats anything extra anyway,"

"Okay, okay, you are right. Lets just enjoy this!" Mika grab her shoulders and starts bouncing, waving her Army bomb around. Y/N joins in, singinf along and recording videons of her and Mika, totally not realizing how hard Jimin is trying to wink her way.

/////

"I did everything I can, and she still dont even acknowledge me!" Jimin huffed.

"Are you serious? Shes a fan and you still cant get her to even look at you? Wow Chim, you really have no jams," Namjoon laughs.

"Hyung, its not funny! What do I do?" Jimin grumbled.

"Okay, okay. Lets think. The whole two days. She didnt look at you? At all?" Namjoon inquired, trying to help the younger man.

"Well, she does look at me..," Jimin ponders.

"Okay. Then whats the problem? You did talk to her at the fansign yesterday right? And today? Did you guys hit it off? Did you two share any interest? Maybe you are just not her type. What did you two talked about? Tell me everything from A to Z," Namjoon pulls a chair and sits in front of him, giving Jimin his full attention.

"T-talk?"

"Yeah. Talk. Like what we are doing right now. Hi I'm Jimin, I like you, can I have your number so I can take you out sometime, that kind of thing," Namjoon eyed him carefully.

"W-well... I didnt really talk to her hyung.." Jimin trailed off.

"What do you mean? You get her name. What else did you ask her? You met her twice at a fan sign Chim," Namjoon eyed him curiously.

"Well, at the first meef, I asked her for her name, so I can sign her album. And she explained to me why she dont asks any questiona, and then I blanked out and before I know it, it was already Taehyung's turn," Jimin pouted. "The time is too short for each person!"

"Well, you never complain before!" Namjoon roll her eyes. "Them what about today?"

"T-today?" Jimin stutter nervously as the memory of today's fansign entered his mind.

He was in no mood at all today After the concert on the first day, Jimin was frustrated. Y/N didnt notice him. After the concert she went back like everyone else. She went out so fast he didnt even get the chance to ask security or his managers to call her out. Jimin knew that he wont evenr see her again. Having that in his mind ruin his whole mood.

He went by fan by fan, signing their album and giving small smiles when required. When asked, he only says hes a bit tired and his fans will express their worry and tell him to get some rest. Never would have thought that he would hear the voice again as a a flatten box of their offical light stick and the photocarda were slide in front of him.

"You already sign all my albums and posters yesterday, so this is all I have left for you to sign," Jimin look up to the smiling face of Y/N and he thought hes dreaming.

"Y/N?"

"Yeah," she smile. "Wow, you remembered me!"

"O-of course I do!" Jimin tries to calm himself. "I didnt think you would come again, and both fansigns? Wow,"

"Well," she giggles. "I guess I am your biggest fan. All of you were great last night,"

"Yeah? But you went off so fast!" Jimin pouts and cursed himself for saying that when Y/N gives him a weird look. Now he sounds like a stalker.

"So fast? How did you know?" Y/N asked him curiously. Did Jimin really saw her in the crowd?

"Uh well.. call it intituition," he laughs awkwardly and Y/N just nodded.

"Well..." Y/N looks around, feeling awkward as she waits for the fan in front of Taehyung to move and lets a breath if relief when she does. "Okay, I'll go now,"

"Wait!" Jimin panics. This might be his last chance to have any sort if way to contact her. "Do-you-think-you-can-give-me-"

"And oh, good luck for tonight," Y/N suddenly say at the same time as his word jumble and patted his hand. The moment her hand touched his, eventhough its just a pat and for a second, Jimin blanked out, all his senses gone, heart pumping so rapidly it almost burst out. Bedore he can calm himself down and find words again, the security already shouted next and Y/N quicy waved and move on to Taehyung.

"Both times? Seriously? You blanked out both times??" Namjoon is shrieking out now. "God, you are hopeless!"

"Y-yeah..." Jimin look at his hyung, scared. "Its not my fault she touched my hand hyung!" Jimin try to defend himself.

"Touch Chim. Not even hold. And you have done this with countless fans! Girl fans!" Namjoon is at the brink of giving up.

"But hyunggg," Jimin wailed. "Thise firls are not Y/N! She's so pretty and smart, and not startruck and everything she said to Tae and Kookie are funny and smart then I'm the one who kinda got starstruck..."

"Oh my god, you are a bigger idiot than I thought," Namjoon hissed and slap Jimin's forehead, making him rubbed it "Okay, fine. But if you barely even talked to her, why are you saying she didnt acknowledge you? I mean... even if she does, which I think she should with your stupidity, she didnt even have a chance to say it, right?"

"But hyungggg, even if I didnt directly say it, its obvious I am flirting with her. And only her!" Jimin answered as if his effort is the most obvious thing in the world.

"Flirt? How?" Namjoon asked, curious on what Jimin meant by flirting if they never even have a proper conversation.

"Didnt you see my extra sexy moves on stage? My winks, my flying kisses, my hip thrusts, how many times I run my hand through my hair, and seductively too if I might add, during these two concert?" Jimin smile proudly.

"Wait, are you saying your little cabaret show this past two nights is you flirting with her?" Namjoon rubs his chin.

"Duhh, of course hyung. What else? I am not a man slut like Kookie who do it for fun hyung,"

"Idiot!" Namjoon slap his head hard this time. "That is what you call flirting? We thought you were possesed by some strip club ghost or something!"

"Ow hyungg, what the hell??" Jimin rubbed his forehead.

"How the fuck is Y/N supposed to know you are flirting with her when you do that in front of a packed stadium you dimwit? A stadium full of screaming girls too! And you always do those shit, yeah, its a little extra this time, but she will just think you are doing your typical flirting with the crowd thing," Namjoon hissed

"W-what?" Jimin panics. "Do you really think she thinks like that? That I am justsome big flirt to my fans?"

"Duhhh," Namjoon roll his eyes.

"But its all for her!" Jimin wailed.

"She didnt know that dumbass. You should have shown your interest during the fanmeet. Both freaking times!" Namjoon sighed and stands up.

"Wait, where are you going hyung? We are not done yet!" Jimin stands up and follow his hyung like a puppy.

"I am not entertaining this dumb shit. Im going,"

"But what am I going to do?!" Jimin wailed for help.

"Nothing. The concert is over Chim. Just pray that you will see her again," Namjoon shrugs before he leaves the room. "You have three days before we fly back home. Make it count,"

/////

Their free day was filled with sight seeing, shopping and eating. Jimin had fun, yes, but he cant help but feeling down whenever he thought about his lost chance of getting to know Y/N more. He has never been this interested in a woman before, nor has he even felt this kind of amazing chemistry towards a girl. Y/N is special, Jimin know she is. And although he doesnt know for sure if she really is the one for him, but he is sure that he atleast wants to get to know her better. And he wants to see where they will go from there.

"Cheer up hyung! Its only a girl. You will forget her soon. I am sure of it," Jungkook smile and roughly hug his shoulder, dragging him into the anime store. "Atleast your amazing favorite maknae is still here with you,"

"Yeah. Annoying maknae," he laughs. "I am in no mood to look at animes abd robots Kook, and also in no mood to hear you and Tae arguing about whos the better hero or whatever," he looks around the street. "I am going to head there, the coffee shop. Meet me there okay?"

Jungkook shrugs and pulls Taehyung to the store instead as Jimin make his way to the coffeeshop. Securing his mask and cap, he enters and nothing surprised him more than seeing the perfect girl smiling at a customer behind the cashier counter.

Y/N.

/////

"Okay.. if thats Y/N.. why are the three of us hiding behind this huge flower pot like some criminal?" Jungkook asks Jimin in confusion. His hyung rans in panics and drags both him and Taehyung to the coffee shop. And with panting breath, he nervously points towards a girl and only one word comes out from his mouth. "Y/N" and they have been hiding behind a huge flower pot in the coffee shop since then.

"Well, because I dont want her to see us. See me. What do I say?" Jimin wioes his sweaty forehead.

"Thats it? Thats the reason you ran all the way, drag me and Tae-hyung here, and hides behind this pot for 40 minutes now?!" Jungkook looks at his hyung, not believing his reason. "Thats it, I'm going in and introducing us and getting you her number!"

"Wait. What?? No!" Jimin drags Jungkook back behind the pot.

"Why? Isbt that what you want hyung? Her number? You have been moping since last night!"

"Y-yeah.. but how can I just ask her. Thats Y/N. Y/N! What if she say no? O-or she laughs at me? Or thinks I'm weird?" Jimin is freaking out and even he hinself doesnt know why he is like this.

"Well, we dont know if we dont try Chim. Let me and Kookie go and ask for you," Taehyung speaks up and stands up, revealing himself. Jimin panics and pulls him back behind the pot.

"What the hell! No! Sit Tae. Let me just think of something okay? I need to impress her somehow. So she would never ever say no," Jimin rubs her chin and the three sits behind the pot for a while longer, all in silence before Jimin suddenly shouted. "Okay, I got it! She will say yes to be my girlfriend after this! I am sure of it!"

/////

"From Park Jimin? The Korean idol Park Jimin?" Y/N eyed the flower delivery man curiously as he smile and nods. "Is this a prank? Tell me, who put you up to this? Its a girl right?"

"Uh no.. its really Park Jimin. He came to the shop. With Kim Taehyung and Jeon Jungkook. I know its them because I am a fan and also," he taps the note on the flower, "Park Jimin put his name there,"

"So right now... you are saying.. that the world famous idol, Jimin, Jungkook and Taehyung, just walk into your store, in broad daylight, and ordered flowers.. for me?" She points to herself.

"Uh.. yeah. Thats about right," the deliveryman nods again and smile. Y/N lets out a loud sarcastic laugh.

"Okay, good one. I am pretty sure this is a prank now," she received the flowers and sniff it. "Atleast I get flowers, prank or not. Thanks,"

The delivery guy shrugs and leaves, but not before looking at Y/N as if shes crazy.

"It must be Mika. Shes the only one who thinks Jimin is looking at me at the concert," Y/N shrugs and continue her work, the flowers forgotten.

Or so she thought.

Throughout the day, many more weird deliveries were made. More flowers, big, expensive ones too, cupcakes, balloons, choclates, chocolates bouquets, and even a puppy, which Y/N immediately asked to be sent back. At this rate she knows it couldnt be Mika. Is it really Jimin?

But why?

How does he knows where she works?

Even if he did finds out, did he really remember her?

And even if he did remember, why is he sending her all this stuff?

Y/N was confused for the whole day, and shes also embarassed when the customers and even her supervisor keeps complimenting how sweet her boyfriend is. Truth is, shes nor even sure if its really Jimin whos sending her all this stuff.

The gifts continue for the next three days, and Y/N just accept and places it all at the store room, even fivinf out the food to her colleagues and loyal customers. After a long hard shift, its finally time to close up. And deciding to leave everything she receives today at the shop, she cleans up and cloaed up the shop. While locking the door suddenly someone tapped her back.

"A delivery for Miss Y/N..."

"Seriously?!" With a frustrated and tired sighed she turns around. "Its almost 12 am at- J-Jimin?"

Y/N couldnt ever imagine thats its really Park Jimin standing in front of her, holding a huge bouquet of flowers. His face is covered with a mask, yes, but theres no doubt that its him.

"Well.. yeah. Are you expecting someone else?" Jimin cocks his head. Even he is nor sure where he gets his sudden confidence.

"Well... no. But I didnt expect it to be you either. Is it safe for you to roam around Japan like this? Are you lost?" Y/N furrowed her brows. How can he be lost? Where is manager?

"No. I am not lost. Unless you count loss of words everytime I see you," he smile.

"Huh?"

"Uh.. no, no, nothing. Uh.. you dont sound excited to be receiving all the gifts I sent you?" Jimin suddenly remembered hows frustrated she sound earlier when she thought he ia the delivery man.

"Well, to be honest. Not really. I mean.. I am not even sure it its really from you. And even though it is, I am still curious as to why? I mean... you dont really know me... and we are not really friends. Right?" Y/N looks at him.

Jimin is speechless. Doesnt girls like that kind of stuff? Especially from someone like him? But as he look at Y/N who is standing in front of him, face full of confusion, he realizes, Y/N is not like normal girls. thats why he felt attracted to her. Look at her right now, standing in front of him bur isnt starstruck at all.

"Uh.. to be honest, I kinda feel a chemistry between us when we first met at the first fansign..." Jimin takes a deep breath. Courage dont leave me now. "And.. I uh.. would like to talk more with you. To get to know you,"

"Okay..m so you decide to stalk me?" Y/n take a step back, a little scared. Jimin raised his hands up defensively.

"No, no! Its not like that. I didnt stalk you to find out where you work. I accidentally found out where you work 3 days ago, so I thought I could send you gifts, as a way to break the ice-"

"Wait, so you had known where I work for three days, and instead of coming in and say hi, like a normal person, you decide to flaunt your money and buy me stuff?" Y/N is trying to understabd what is the man trying to do.

"Well.. uh.. it sounds bad when you put it like that...but-but I thought you knew about my interest in you!" Jimin tries to safe whatever dignity he has left as Y/N eyes him carefully. "I have been flirting with you for the two whole concert days!"

"Flirting? When??" Y/n questioned him. "You barely even talk to me during the fansign Jimin-ssi," Y/N reminds him.

"D-dont you see me malong eye contact with you on stage? All those dance moves? Those extra stuff I did?"

"Huh?" Y/N looks straight at him. "Are you telling me that is you flirting?" Y/N didnt know if she should laugh or be pissed right now. "Thats the way to show me that you want to talk to me?"

"Y-yes,"

"Jimin... If you want to talk to me you can just ask. To be honest, I find you interesting to talk to too," Y/N smile.

"Really?!"

"Yeah... but after this weird gift giving thing... I am not sure..."

"What? No! I am not weird! Uh actually," Jimin panics. Is Y/N really going to just shut him away now? He has to do something. The thing that he planned to do when he came here. "Actually, I'm flying back to Korea tomorrow but before I leave... I just uh... wanted to ask you to be my girlfriend," he quickly pulls out a box with a white gold diamond bracelet inside. "And give you this,"

Y/N was silenced for a moment and Jimin hope that thats a good sign. He knows its rash, but hes leaving to Korea tomorrow and he needs a way to stay in touch with her. To just... make her his.

"Are you seriously kidding me right now?" Was Y/N's answer after the silenced.

"N-no?"

Y/N scoff.

"You never even introduce yourself properly to me. Or get to know me. Or even talk to me for the matter! How do you know you even really like me? If its only a blind atttaction, only because you like how I look, then I dont want any of it! Yes, I am your fan and I kmow mostly everything about you, but I dont want to know you as BTS' Park Jimin, I want to know you as Park Jimin... do you get it? And giving me ridiculous expensive gifts for three days is flirting and a way to talk to me?? And please know that hip thrusting and swiping your hair back on stage doesnt count either. What are you trying to do? Do you think I am that kind of girl Jimin?" Y/N look softly at him.

"I want a guy to ask me out, to ask me if I have plans and take his time to know me. I dont need your money or your fame Jimin. If you really like me, you would know thats the kind of girl I am. I am leaving, I am sorry, I have to declined. Have a safe flight back to Korea," Y/N bows and walks away, leaving Jimin alone.

Jimin was silenced by her unexpected outburst. He really didnt think ahe would say all this, nor did he think about how stupid his plans are. Taehyung and Jungkook has warned him, even suggested to just greet her and ask for her number, but noooo, he has to feel like he needs to impress her with expensive gifts. Now look what happen.Everything she says just make Jimin realized that she is excatly what he wants, who he needs in a woman. In a life partner. He wants to get to know her, all of her, but it seems like hes too late now.

/////

"Hyung? You okay?" Jungkook sat beside him on the bed. Its been a few days after the tour, and Jimin has been sad and locking himself in his rooms ever since.

"Yeah.. I guess?" Jimin answered lifelessly.

"You dont look okay Chim. You look... lost?" Taehyung sat at the other side of him.

"I am lost Tae. I have never been this lost in my entire life. I think I lost myself in Japan, I acted the way I would never have, and because of it, I lost my love,"

"Well.. if you lost something in Japan... I guess you have to go and get it back. Simple Chim," Taehyung grins and pat his back, hoping his best friend will understand what he meant.

/////

What happened last week is still a blur to Y/N. Did Park Jimin really sent her gifts for three days straight? The Park Jimin? Worldwide idol Park Jimin? And did he really showed up to her coffee shop and tell her he lijes ber, and wanted her to be his girlfriend? And did she rejected him, just like that?

Everything is like a dream to her. She is not even sure if it really happened it shes just imagining it all. But the wilted flowers and uneaten chocolate bars proves that all of it is too real.

She cant lie to herself. Her heart did do a little flip at the sight of Jimin that night. Yes, shes practical, but theres still a part of her that wants a fairy tale ending for herself too. She almost say yes, her heart is beating out from her chest. She cant believe its happening, Park Jimin likes her... but then her practical side takes over. Reminding her that they barely knew each other, what if Jimin ends up not liking her? And what she told Jimin is true, she wants someone who will ask her out, who will take his time to learn about her, just as mich as she will learn about him.

Maybe Jimin is only a drean afterall.

As she walks along the sakura covered park, Y/N sighed. Shes at her happy place. Her beautiful home, but she has never felt so lost.

/////

"Thank god I found you here," the voice behind her pants. Y/N immediately turns around only to see Park Jimin panting, holding his knees. Is she hallucinating in broad daylight now?

"Jimin? Is that really you?" She looks at the figure closely. Jimin looks up after catching his breath

"H-hi. I'm Park Jimin, and I came all the way from Korea just to find you, and someone told me that you are at a sakira park, but theres a lot of sakura park during during spring in Japan and I went to like 30 of them and then I got lost all over Japan, but I dont care, because I can handle being lost in Japan, but I cant handle losing myself again and worse, losing a chance to know you," he smile at her stunt reaction. "Y/N.. I got lost all over Japan, just so I can ask you..," Jimin wiped his sweaty hands on his jeans as Y/N smile at his stuttering form.

"Yes, Park Jimin?" Y/N flashed him a wide smile, easing his mind and making all his doubts dissappear, a surge of confidence suddenly surfacing in him.

"Do you... do you perhaps have any plans tonight? Because I want to take you out. I want to spend the whole night getting to know you, all about you," He took a step forward and bravely hold her waist, grinning widely.

"And why would you want to do that when you just met me three times Park Jimin?" Y/N hide her smile any longer.

"Because I.. well, because honestly Y/N..." he tuxks a stray hair behind her ears and look straight into her eyes, "I cant get you out of my mind,"

#bts #bangtan boys #bangtan scenarios #bangtan #BTS jimin #park jimin #bts park jimin #jimin #jimin scenario #jimin fluff #jimin fanfic #kpop #kpop fanfic #kpop scenario #kpop merch #bts merch

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sea-bea · 6 years

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I said I was gonna probably talk abt Deltarune, I’m talking abt Deltarune

ALSO. THERE WILL BE SPOILERS FOR THE END OF THE GAME. LOTS AND LOTS OF SPOILERS

theres a whole lot to unpack from the ending, and I have a few headcannons in mind. I’m also going to focus on Kris, Frisk, Chara, Asriel, and Ralsei and the connections between them. It’s a lot of word barf too, so be warned.

(also I haven’t seen any theories from the deltarune fandom, this is all what I got from deltarune. I’ve kept it blacklisted bc I’m not going to have it tainted like undertale was.)

as we know, this universe is one where monsters never went underground. and as we know, everyone (keep this in mind) from the previous game is alive but living very similar, but different lives. And then there’s us. Kris. A new character presumably not from the last game Here’s what I think so far:

Chara was most definitely the voice talking to us in the beginning. They have the same kind of speech patterns and the same kind of thinking. “Its kill or be killed” “You can’t choose who you are in this world.” Both Chara and the voice have a very pessimistic view of the world, mostly about how people are naturally very cruel and will hurt you any chance they get. (and honestly, considering Kris’ life in the upper world, it would make sense that they too would have the same thought process).

As for the end, what happened in the end scene has happened before, multiple times before. It wasn’t because Kris went to the dark world. The birdcage they (or Chara) throws their soul in the cage is significantly damaged and the cage shakes with the force of it. It would explain why Kris always wakes up late for school, because they go out and do, whatever it is they do at night, and their body gets very tired. The ending scene also suggests that Kris isn’t pulling their soul out willingly, or even getting out of bed willingly. And since that’s supposed to be Kris’ soul, that means their soul isn’t in their body anymore, which suggests something else.

also, I think the “incident”, whatever it was, that tore the family apart and outcasted Asgore has something do with Kris’ specifically. The first time there was an incident in the family it was when the Chara and Asriel fusion died, and the second time Asgore killed a bunch of kids. It doesn’t seem like Asgore killed some kids because he’s not in jail or anything, but it was definitely something that upset both Tori and Asgore significantly, so it might have had to do with the kids. That was also the turning point for both Asriel and Chara to become flowey and murder child so this universe’s kids must have changed significantly too.

Remember how I said everyone is living similar yet very different lives? In the last game, we played two characters: Frisk in pacifist and Chara in fight, but Kris is new, presumably one of them. Initially it seems like Kris is in Frisk’s place If Asriel is cannonly around the same age as Chara and is in college, I’d pit him around his early 20’s, maybe still 18. Considering the school looks like it was made for younger students and there are already stereotypes in the school (Susie, obviously) I’d pit Kris somewhere in middleschool, in sixth grade at the very least and eighth or ninth grade at the very most. Probably 12, or 13? 15 at most (which was around the age Frisk probably was when they fell). So they’d be more than four years apart, and that's a conservative estimate.

At the same time though, both Chara and Kris (other than share the same sweater) also share a personality as the weird kid that doesn’t talk that much. They naturally do very weird things that frighten other people, but they seem like pranks at worst. And they’re also naturally very aloof and don’t talk a lot and likes to keep to themselves (but will make an exception for Asriel). What Kris does with Asriel is also similar to what Chara did with him (Asriel’s final form was referenced by one of the characters, where they say that Chara and Asriel were too busy focusing on the wings). Then again, Frisk doesn't talk a lot either.

But then it came down to the name. I was originally confused why Kris had such a normal name, but if Ralsei is just a rewording of the name “Asriel” and is supposed to represent a version of Asriel, then “Kris” may be “Frisk” without the “F” (it also may be a stretch but I think there is no F because you probably shouldn't fight. Either that, or putting an F in that name is kinda hard to do). Thats what I initially thought that was. But If you pronounce Chara the same way you pronounce the first part of the word “Character”, then the name sounds like “Kara.” Add the K of Kara and the ris from “Frisk” and you get “Kris”. Not only that, but the regular spelling of Kris is Chris, “Ch” from Chara, “ris" from Frisk, and the “Ch” is disguised as a K from Frisk (also to make it more gender neutral, I think)

So maybe Kris isn’t just Chara or isn’t just Frisk, they’re both, a mixture of the two angels that fell down to free the monsters from the underground. But then why is the Chara part of them so prevalent here?

I think that’s because Chara’s possessing Kris. Since characters like Chara can break the fourth wall and don’t follow the laws of reality, as well as know of alternate universes and endings, Chara could have crossed from the Undertale Universe into the Deltarune Universe, and then influenced their “Chara” side more.

Here’s what I think happened: An incident occurred where Kris and Asriel were put in danger that almost killed them. They lived, obviously, but Kris became very vulnerable. Because Kris was very vulnerable at the time and is also the version of Chara here, it was easy for Chara to possess them.

It may be very easy for Kris to be possessed frequently. When we first meet sans and he greets you, you have the opportunity to say “good to see you again” or something like that, to which sans replies that he’s never met you before. Either Kris was joking around or that was actually Chara saying hi to him. Plus the phase “It’s only you.” when you look in the mirror is a bit....ominous, and can imply there can be another person there sometimes.

Kris isn’t possessed all the time though, they still wake up late, and it’s implied they still have control of themselves sometimes —when you visit Rudy, there’s a card on the table that “you” have never seen before, even though you wrote it. And Chara has to store the soul in the birdcage frequently, implying that Kris can fight them, to some degree.

So if Chara has been here the whole time, and has been possessing Kris frequently, what exactly are they doing? Honestly, I really don’t know. As Undyne says, the town is really boring. Of course, considering the shit that went down at the end of the game, that's probably going to change. Still though, I have no idea what they were doing before the whole “dark world” business.

I’m not going to go into much detail into Ralsei but I do want to point out one thing that stood out to me. He seems like a pretty cut n dry character, and his purpose as Asriel’s reverse is pretty obvious. He is the dark opposite of Asriel, he’s the dark prince living in the castle, while everyone in his universe is alive except for him, all of his subjects are gone and he’s the only one left. His name is literally a respelling of the world Asriel, plus he’s a goat. A goat.

But if there’s one thing that concerned me the most was how insistent he was on making sure you “acted” instead of “fought”. what stood out to me the most was when he was talking about the consequences of fighting, he said something alone the lines of “You may not like the outcome/ending you get.” Which makes me wonder what exactly happened to him and his entire kingdom. And since he’s technically a version of Asriel (who is still Flowey in the undertale universe), maybe he knows about the old resets from the Undertale universe.

The other theory is he went through his own fight route which honestly sounds pretty intense. Really intense. Considering that flowey too did many routes, especially fight routes, the idea that Ralsei here could have done a kill route too can be very possible. also, the way Ralsei tells Kris to act sounds less like “dont do this because I saw someone else do it”, and more like “don’t do this because I did it and now I live with the consequences”.

finally, to tobias fox

im not forgiving you for what you’ve done to mettaton

that is all

#rox talks #deltarune #frisk #chara #asriel #kris #ralsei

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buddyhollyscurls · 6 years

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blossom (do all 3), blush, bright, candlelight (or whenever your last dream was), cuddly, cutie pie, daylight, euphoric, fairy, garden, glow, jiggly, kisses, prince, princess, rainbow, starlight, soft, toot, whiffle, wispy (sorry there were just so many questions i liked!!!)

MY DEAREST DIANA U ARE AN ABSOLUTE TREASURE THANK YOU SO MUCH

blossom; favorite book/movie/song?:

favorite book: the pigman series by paul zindel, because of romek by david faber, and the catcher in the rye by jd salinger

favorite movie: life is beautiful, la strada, coco

favorite song: ironia by mana, back to black by amy winehouse, i’ve been good to you by the miracles

blush; what was your stuffed animal as a child?: when i was about 12? or so my brother got me and my sister a gift card for build a bear workshop lol i got a bunny i named babz she has on a purple sweat suit. i kept the box and her birth certificate but my niece messed them up and lost her jacket when she was a baby :( but i still have babz she sits on my vanity in my room i don’t think i’ll ever be able to give her up.

bright; mermaids or fairies?: definitely faires i hope to be a fairy in my next life preferably a forest one who is able to make plants grow

candlelight; what did you dream about last night?: the last dream i REMEMBER had something to do with my trying to prevent death?? IDK BLAME GOBLIN I HAD JUST FINISHED WATCHING IT AND IT WAS SERIOUSLY AFFECTED THAT SHOW FUCKED ME UP

cuddly; what’s your favorite time period?: the 60s have always held a huge fascination for me. like i remember i used to love February bc that was when we would talk about the civil rights movement and stuff and through that i remember being like 12 and seeing documentaries about the black panthers and woodstock.

most precious item you own: i have a lot of those babz is one, i’m a very sentimental person i have a hello kitty box filled with pics friends have given me i have a Berenstain bears book i once put in a time capsule with my sister and brother that we had to dig up super early bc we moved ummm i still have cards and stuff friends have given me one is even from my tenth birthday, drawings my niece has made me, a shoebox full of journals i’ve filled up things like that i feel if i made them or if someone gave them to me they’re super precious. my book and movies as well.

favorite album of all time: tie between back to black or stg peppers

talk about someone u love: i’m going to talk about my nieces and nephews rn bc i love them so much: adelie is the oldest she’s ten and my favorite person in the whole world. when she was born i took care of her a lot even stopped going to school for about a year so my sister could go and we got so close bc of that she is just so funny and silly and loving i hate that my girl has to grow up i want her to be little forever. next is my nephew Malcolm he’s so energetic and he plays a bit too rough with adelie and his brother and sister but he’s a great big brother he looks out for them and he and adelie get along super well. nicole is next she is an actual angel she is the sweetest girl in this entire planet she is so nurturing and she is super helpful and gentle. and finally my nephew diego. he’s three and the exact clone of my brother i even have this ig post of a side by side photo from when my brother was little they’re wearing red shirts and i stg they even have the same smile. my little man is so cute. when he was born it took a little while for him to warm up to us bc we don’t get the chance to see him as much as we did when adelie was born. but now its a complete 180 sometimes i’ll be walking and he’ll just run up and give me a hug and it makes my heart soar

fairy; do you have a pet?: sadly i don’t haha i want to have a senior cat or senior dog but that’ll have to wait until i get my own place. hopefully whenever i get into something called a serious relationship we can get a puppy together and raise it together but who knows when that’ll come i don’t want a puppy until then tho

garden; how many languages do you know?: outside english i know spanish and a tiny bit of italian and portuguese just barely tho lol not enough to have a conversation but i can probably pick up a few sentences i want to learn italian portuguese french (that one is SUPER HARD THO FRENCH WTF) and maybe arabic

glow; list the top 5 things you like about yourself

1: ppl tell me i’m funny

2. i’m really honest

3. i’m tenacious

4. i’m very empathetic

5. for the most part i’m a postive person i’m one of those ppl that are just everyone’s personal cheerleader

jiggly; what do you usually like to do on weekends?: watch movies lmaoooo this weekend alone i saw train to busan, silenced, see you tomorrow, this is not what i expected, turn left turn right, and lust caution. i don’t see movies during the week (during school anyway) so usually all week i try to be like what am i watching this weekend. it’s very rare i willingly make plans over the weekend we can hang out during the week but weekends are for movies.

kisses; what romantic cliché do you wish for most?: i am a romantic sap lol i am the cheesiest person i know but for some reason i’m not into cliches i guess like hmmm i guess for me the one i want most is to fall in love with my best friend. like i meet someone and we just click and they make me do the chris evans laugh A LOTand i’m able to open up and just talk with them and gradually one day its like oh snap. so this is the person i’m supposed to be with. tight.

prince; how would you describe your handwriting?: atrocious. sometimes i can’t even read what i just wrote. but i hear ugly handwriting is a sign of high intelligence so theres that lmaooo.

princess; do you play any instruments? if not, are there any you wish you could play?: uuuuhhh i don’t :((((((((( if i could i wish i could play guitar (i only know a few chords) drums, piano, bass, even the sitar ok brian and george made it look sick af

rainbow; what was the last line of the last book you read?: “For the first time ever, I think Haddock may have a point, you know.” my mad fat diary by rae earl (if u haven’t seen the show i highly rec it it’s one of my fave ever just a side note)

starlight; what was your favourite show as a child?: hey arnold ok don’t even get me started on it i’ll talk forever how great it is even now its just timeless even adults should watch it and i’ve said this before and i’ll say it a million more times helga g pataki is probably one of the most complex, interesting, well written female character EVER on any show i owe craig bartlett my entire life.

soft; describe your favourite spot in your house: the dining room its huge and its got big windows i love looking out windows so when i write i like sitting at the table to look out every now and then sometimes i’ll just look out that window when i wake up and be like damn its a new day.

toot; what is something you find unique about yourself?: hmmm…. i guess how idealistic i am. and how intense i feel about things. when i was a kid i thought everyone had strong feelings about something and just LOVED things all the time but getting older i realize being passionate about things esp things like books and tv and movies is really………. odd haha. like even now i will type paragraphs about a favorite movie or something that happened in a show and my friends will be like why are u like this. the same goes with how idealistic i am like thought it was normal to have so many things u want to do and see in the world but when i talk to my friends theyre like oh i just never thought about doing that so it makes me feel odd sometimes bc i know i expecet a lot out of life hahahaha.

whiffle; if you could have a magical power, what would it be?: either flight or invisibility

wispy; do you like the place where you grew up? do you think you will live there when you get older?: i LOVE san diego and i LOVE california (in spite of how damn expensive it is here) but even when i was little i didn’t see myself living here as an adult with a family. i just always felt like this world is so big why live in one place your whole life. one day i want to live somewhere green and have my farm with my little animals and soccer team of kids haha. like linda and paul mccartney.

#diana thank you sm for this #these answers are super long #so i'm sorry #lmaoo #but you're a treasure #britneyshakespeare

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bigbrothernetflix-st · 4 years

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EPISODE FOUR

“ ‘something will be unleashed’ are u gonna start KILLING PEOPLE??” - saira

HOH: Nick UPSIDE DOWN: Emma & Kiki NOMINEES: Monty & Saira POV: Jev FINAL NOMINEES: Monty & Saira EVICTED: Saira (1-0)

JOSH C

well, we just voted out GINA and i'm feeling some kind of way about it. i feel like the push to save emma was VERY quick and i think there are a lot of alliances going on that i'm not involved in which is FINE but it's just something i need to watch out for. i know i talk with almost everyone constantly so i think i'll be okay for this week, but i'm just worried about the people that i enjoy.

a lot of people have said they don't talk to saira or brianna so i wouldn't be shocked to see them both go up, which is FINE i guess but i enjoy both. i don't want saira to leave at all but i don't think she has as GOOD of a social standing as brianna does. which is worrisome because i know this is her first game so she doesn't have any pre-existing relationships to save her which is.. not ideal.

i'm finding things a BIT frustrating because i have to navigate not ONLY game thoughts but people's pre-game relationships. not that i'm knocking anyone for them but almost everyone i've talked to says they don't talk to monty but they wouldn't want to see him nominated. i just don't FULLY understand why we can't nominate him but they're friends with him so he's a bit UNTOUCHABLE. i might push it anyways because he's the only person i don't really talk to anymore. WHO KNOWS.

i've felt like a deflated balloon for most of today so maybe i'll just go with the flow on this but i need to make sure i'm not just voting out all the people who will be votes for me later on.

ARIA

Im small, bitter, and very angry...but spite is the best motivator and im going to use it to win this season. Anyways i miss saira im SICK of trusting nicks, i see a nick i FLOOR IT!!! I refuse to have a nick fuck me over in a game again i am so over it. But hehe anyways lets get into the info spilling section real fast and then i can analyze because my position has drastically changed from last time-

also sorry for repeated info but sometimes i forget things or people say it again so..

-nathan leaked "all" his alliances to me (Screensht is cut weird i think theres one he cut off)

-Jacob found out my gina connection

-perfect voting record is dead (told jacob i voted out gina tho idk why hehe)

-kiki-joey connection

-emma knows about bri's backups because jake leaked it to her before he left

-josh c IS EVERYWHERE

-nick says they havent talked to bri

-nick likes jev

-nick wants (more so wants others) to take a shot at kiki/nash

-nick said nathan is a wildcard

-joshua nommed monty and nash

-STOP UNDERESTIMATING JOSHUA

-told josha jacob is protecting him

-joey exposed saira's deal to me and bri

-joey wants a larger alliance

-bri said they like nick,,,but that conflicts earlier info so im thinking peer pressure or just bri is too sweet for this cast and i adore her-

-bri told nathan her noms

-nathan hates bri and for wHAT??

-jacob has a dpov and used it to cement a f2,, AND DID THE SAME THING WITH BRI FFS

-jacob scared of nick and jev

-kiki and nash tell everything to jacob

-jacob said emma and joey have a connection??

-jacob thinks nick is gonna join the emma jev joey side (his words)

-jacob thinks monty is a threat

-jacob ranked the players in tiers as follows:

A kiki jev bri

B joey joshua nathan

d: nash saira monty

-bri talks a lot with kiki and josh c

-told bri about the trio between jacob kiki and nash

-joey told me yesterday he wants to win,,,but then just said to take him out

-planting seeds against joey to bri

-jacob wants to bring dpov up with alliance at f10

-joshua and jacob were shook saira was evicted

-told jacob that joey asked to throw

-jev and jacob are getting closish

-jacob is so threaten by nick

-jacob told bri that nathan doesnt like her

and thats where im at currently. Lots of options and lots of interconnections I have to navigate but i think im gonna be fine for the time being which makes it super easy to just be complacent and float my way to jury BUT!!! I want to try setting myself up well where i dont get clocked at f9/10 and wabam im out. Im trying to set people against each other subtly but honestly i think im overestimating myself here but at least i know im safe. I mean for now im trying to set up this side of jev emma joshua to at least form together as a group but im STRUGGLING i might just have to settle for them keeping each other safe without a solid alliance ig. At the same time I think i really have two actives pieces of info im working with which is emma knowing about bri's backups and then me and bri knowing about jacob's dpov.

So i think what I want to happen is that Jacob wants to dpov nick out at f10 so i'll let that happen probably which puts a huge target on jacobs back, idk if its anon but if it is ill make sure bri leaks it kinda framing it in a "if you leak it and i pretend to not know i can analyze how other people respond so we'll know what everyone thinks" and once jacob leaves emma can leak the bri's angels (which should be weaker at this point since jacob is the glue that holds it together a bit) which #1 makes a bunch of good players house targets and then forces those people to solidly stick together as well. Not sure how im gonna play both sides but,,,,if i can play it off kinda like i did in pasio somehow maybe i'll be fine but who knows. Either way im here to have fun (and hopefully win for gina/saira)

WELL WELL!!! just did a vc with jacob, he decided to take matters into his own hands and be totally cracked and now thinks nick/monty/nathan are a side,,,,which,,,,idk yall nathan did show me all of his alliances and none of them were that but who am i to stop jacob from making himself a target by leading this charge against them uwu. I do need to be more proactive about leaking tho but im not sure how im gonna work that. Also im not sure if i want nick/monty/nathan all gone, i can live with monty gone bc they probably think i nommed them and might want revenge but also nick and nathan are kinda cute numbers for me,,,

I mean idk because at this point i have a game relationship with mostly everyone left in this game and im just not sure which path i need to take to get to the end yet and its kindaaa stressing me out a little bit. I can feel myself starting to drop in peoples trust rankings a little bit and god its kinda annoying how jacob has this game wrapped around his finger, however i dont need to be in a dominant position this entire game i believe in myself!! I got this easy peasy!!!

JEV

My reverse psychology paid off and I won the veto so I'm loving that for me, I'm not going to be using it because I'd preferably like to see Monty leave because I just... never see them and I think Saira is much more deserving of her place here than Monty is. It's frustrating that Monty is cruising through this game so easily because we haven't spoken to eachother since day one, and they haven't even bothered to come and speak to me to campaign for me to use the veto. Like, do you want to be here or not?

Thinking about it more, I'm super happy I won the power of veto. I managed to ensure myself and those I'm closest to in this game weren't going to be named as renom and kept Monty up there as a final nom, which I'm worried otherwise wouldn't happen during this game since people seem either threatened by Monty OR a little over-eager to keep him around in this game, which annoys me but whatever. I just hope whoever wins HOH has the balls to make the right decision, better to get him gone now rather than later.

JEV

So I think I've had a little bit of a brainwave/breakthrough. This is gonna be longwinded so hear me out.

Apparently from what I've heard, the nominations this week were revealed in order of who recieved the least to the most nominations from every

one. This is extremely interesting to me, as I've taken note that Nick, Aria, Jacob & Brianna were 10th-8th in the rankings of votes respectively.

First of all, I haven't made secret that I think something is going on with the Pasio alumni. This was highlighted when I was asking around for what people were doing for nominees, and from everyone I heard Saira/Monty, but from two people I heard Saira, Nash, Joey & Monty -- with Monty strategically placed last in the ranking, to give the illusion his name was the least uttered. Funnily enough, the two people I heard this format of the names were Nick and Aria who just happen to be Pasio alumni... interesting, right?

So looking at the ranking, I'm thinking "okay so they obviously didn't do eachother, and with Nash/Joey in 3rd and 4th respectively, they must've not expected so many votes on Monty and didn't plan accordingly, and so split the votes too much and didn't have enough to put up Nash or Joey over Monty. So I'm thinking, I know there's a connection between Jacob and Monty because I used to play orgs with them on Skype. Jacob used the veto on Brianna last week, this has brought me to the conclusion that Monty, Nick, Brianna, Jacob & Aria are working together with the possibility that Josh C is either playing both sides or is fully with them too, hence why he recieved the least votes.

That places Myself, Emma, Kiki, Nash, Joshua, Joey & Saira on the outside, and Nathan too as I'm guessing he's strayed from their alliance and/or wishing to work with them, hence why he recieved 5th most votes.

I'd love to make an alliance with this group of people, but it's still only pre-jury and I don't want to be seen as playing too hard too soon.

(cont.) So I initially wasn't going to go for this HOH, but I feel like I need to because I can't trust anybody else to make the move to take Monty out, and I'd rather see their numbers thinned sooner rather than later. It would paint me as their #1 target for next week probably, but if someone I trusted won HOH next week then I could go to the upside down and not have to worry about it.

JEV

Yes again I'm so sorry, another thing that was interesting to me was that I mentioned to Aria that I was close with Emma, and she asked for an alliance with the 3 of us almost immediately after, stating that she was also "very interested" in working with Emma too. This tells me she's the mole and wanted the alliance to try and get intel from us, I don't believe for a second she did Saira/Monty along with me and Emma at all, which is why myself and Emma are hesitant to say too much in that alliance chat. So I like Aria, but I don't trust her as far as I can throw her.

HOST WEEKLY CAST ASSESSMENT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hL__dyRaq2E&list=PLFEwPPy8j010XXwntq80VSU0qLNTNpSIN&index=5&t=0s

#bbnetflix st

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dreamerology · 7 years

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my biggest i love monsta x ever!!!!

no offence but if u had told me a year ago that these seven boys would have had this much of an impact on my life and not only that but i still love them as much now as i did on day one (maybe even more) i’d say u were lying. usually my interests come and go in phases and nothing has ever lasted as long as mx???? but i rly truly cannot imagine my life without them at this point. in fact, the 2-3 months at the very beginning of uni where i stopped having time for them and thought i was moving on were the worst of this year (ofc that wasn’t the only reason those months were hard, but feeling like i was falling out of love w mx hurt more than id care to admit). they’ve brought me so much happiness and connected me with so many amazing people and not 2 be cheesy but made me into a better person! like they just continue to have the biggest positive influence in my life and i got the opportunity to meet one of my best friends bc of them, i’ll forever be thankful for them

i know i havent been w mx since the beginnign but!!!! even just seeing shownu grow so much this year has made me sooooo happie!!!!!! i Love how u can just see he’s more comfortable now and seems a lot more at ease……..the fact that hes comfortable enough to host his own solo vlives and no offence but theres not a single thing i dont love abt that man! hes so fucking funny….like its sorta weird humor?? dad humor almost? BUT HES HONESTLY FUNNY WITHOUT EVEN TRYING hes just reached a point where he’s got no filter and will just say whatever and sometimes even the wording will make me laugh dkjfhkjsd the true underrated comedian of the group tbh. hes so selfless too bicht………….i still cant believe he split the money from his solo event w the other members My Heart :-((((((( and when hes on a solo schedule he’s always mentioning the others!!! nd doesnt let anyone forget abt them, they rly are one big family!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALSO HIS SMILE is the cutest shit ive ever seen!!!!! like when he smiles rlllly big nd his eyes crinkle nd he :D and his big “ha ha ha” ,,,,music 2 my ears!!!!!!!! i wish he could be that happy forever. hes the biggest softest teddy bear i just wanna give him a giant hug???

fun fact wonho was the first member i knew abt nd was able to recognize nd such!! my friend who helped me get into mx talked abt him a lot so i grew to love him before i even knew the others!!! actually hes probably still the one i know the most abt bc of her? anyways! angels exist and wonho is living proof of that! his love for mbbs is on a whole other plane of existance???? ive never felt this loved nd appreciated as a fan before nd its all genuine!!!!!. wonho is a monbebebebe first and a monsta second. hes just so full of love….im convinced thats why hes so Large he needs to fit his heart in his body somehow...hes just got so much love to give!!!!!!! he is the most thoughtful and caring person??? like not even towards monbebes and his memebrs but like at the end of mxray when he made sure to buy all the staff and crew little gifts as well, my heart grew 3 sizes for him!!!!!! and im so soo soooooooooooooosososooo proud of him to have some of his songs on the albums this year and not only that but! from zero getting a stage on tv!!!!!! his song!!!! he did that!!!!!! his hard work paid off….i hope he continues to be able to produce more music this year! oh one last thing, i love how? childish he is??? idk if thats the right word but hes always teasing or changing or playing around w the other members and hes always being goofy and laughing and it just makes my heart!!!!! rly happy nd warm

what is there left 2 be said abt minhyuk that i havent already said yet jdfshkjdhf i just! Love Everything abt that boy :-((((((( i love his sunshiney positive personality that never fails to cheer me up, i love how caring he is and how he always makes sure to be there for his members and makes himself open for them, i love his uneven blink, i love how soft his voice is and how it sounds exactly how sunshine looks, i love his fingers go sorta crooked when he makes a peace sign, i love his laugh and how silly he is, i love his thoughtful and serious side, i love how smart he is, i love his toothy smile, i love when hes on stage and he looks so radiant and glowing and u can see how happy he is and how he was truly built to shine, i love his ears, i love how affectionate and loving he is, i love his one (1) dimple, i love how sometimes he just says the weirdest shit…...like i rly wanna understand what hes thinking sometimes, i love how cute he looks wearing hats or how soft he looks in giant sweaters, i love him sooooooo much my heart hurts

can u believe i didn’t used to love kihyun this much? past me was a whole fool! i’ll try to keep this one sorta short too since i’ve already written a love essay for him but! once again i rly do love him w my whole heart!!!!!! absolutely Everything he does is so endearing and i loooove how he cares so much….he rly went and made us our own season's greeting for free nd his photography is rly No Joke! hes so talented nd u can rly see how passionate he is abt it!!!!! it makes me so so happy seeing him talk abt it, like he just lights up its the best thing ive ever seen. i Love his smile!!!! when his face scrunches up and u can see the little dimples on his cheeks and see all his teeth and he laughs and throws his head back or hits whoever’s closest to him or just collapses thats Good Shit!!!!!!!! im so glad he’s happy enough to be able to smile like that!!!!!!! it makes my heart tingle thinking abt him being happy. he rly is the cutest, i love him nd all his beauty marks :D !! nd no offense but hes never had a bad hair colour/style nd thats the tea on that!

chae hyungwon 2018’s lord nd saviour????????? anyways its about Damn Time i write him a love essay :-((((( having both best friends being hyungwon biased ive secretly been converted 2 a whole chaebebe….their love rubbed off on me!!! i love it :D idk where to start...gosh hes seriously so hardworking????? im soooooo so soo so proud of him!!! icb he picked up djing as a hobby nd then made it to a big festival, is on mix and the city and has released not one but two (2) songs only months later!!!!!!!!! we love a talented man!!!!!!! nd his dancing bichksjdfhsdj hes so fluid nd smooth when he dances…...i always find myself watching him first in group practices like there something rly captivating abt him?? please let him show us more of his dancing its So Good. also hes got the nicest voice…...its so deep wtf...but like its So Calming 2 listen to? especially when hes sleepy nd its extra raspy? Good Shit! and when he sings!!!!!!!! bicshjkdfhksdhj hes got one of my fave vocal voices i rly wish he got the lines he deserves :((( hes! So! Cute! jfhsdjfhs he gets embarrassed so easily and always makes the goofiest faces but i love it….he covers his smile sometimes too :-((( i wish he wouldnt its So Bright nd cute nd warm just like he is!!!! hyungwon’s smile is the 8th wonder of the world thats just the facts folks!

mister jooheon……….the true example of the duality of man. i dont understand how he can go from his scaredy cat self to and Actual God,,,blows my mind. i’m pretty sure i’ve said this at least a hundred times but his stage presence is truly Unreal……..its on a whole other level…….ive never seen them live but if i ever do i fear for my life. nd i know once it’s over im only gonna know one (1) man and that man is lee jooheon. but at the same time hes rly The Cutest id trust him w my life???? his eyes are so warm!!!!!! And his Big Smile!!!!!!!!!!! his dimples? deeper than the marianas trench, i wanna build my home in them nd raise my family there. hes such a talented dude!!!! mx don’t have a single bad song thenks jooheon! also for the first couple months i’d alway forget he was one of the youngest? like hes very mature too nd seems very responsible djfhkjsdhfjsd idk how he was the only one 2 be able to keep it together during their first win 2 give the speech…..hes so strong. i love him so much :-( hes so cute nd gentle nd thoughtful...truly the biggest angel who deserves the world!!!!!!!!!!

i think if there's any member i would actually get along best w it would b changkyun. we’re both rly similar from what i can tell...like sorta quiet, but loud around those we’re comfortable with!!! first off hes so funny nd…..weird but like in a good way sdjfhksdjhf sometimes i rly just think he says the first thing that comes to his mind “actually we have a baby” ????? who let him \…..he always makes me laugh reading his fansign notes too omg that being said hes also one of the most serious members at times i feel like. hes just got this rly mature vibe nd he handles things rly well??? idk if that makes sense but Yeah. he’s just someone who’s not rly afraid 2 be themselves, i wish that were me??? ive got so much to learn from them. also icb he literally invented being cute???? he doesn't even have 2 try hes just adorable!!!!!! like his laugh nd smile? The Best!!!!! and when u can see his lil dimples yeahhhhh hes sooo super sweet and cheesy. i looooove how close hes gotten w the other members despite their rough start, they rly are a family nd im glad hes comfortable around them it rly warms my heart!!!!! whenever hes getting showered in love my heart !!!!!!! its what he deserves!

on that note, the one thing i think that has stayed with me more than anything is that one fansign note where ck was asked how he wants to be remembered in the future, when they only occasionally thought abt him and his answer was “that i gave you happiness” and not 2 b a sentimental shit but fuck! i cry every time i think abt that!!!!!!! bc i Know there’s gonna come a day where i don’t think abt them at all! there’s gonna be a day where i won’t think abt them until i see something that jogs my memory and jolts me back to this time and even tho this year has been rough i know i always will remember how much happiness they’ve brought me. i’ll remember how they were able to cheer me up when nothing else worked. i hope one day i’ll be able to feel the Pure Joy i felt when they got their first win….i’ve never felt anything like that before. i cant wait to be able to look back in nostalgia at all the happiness they’ve brought me.

anyways that got real sappy towards the end i gotta blast now bye!

#dont feel like u gotta read this im just yelling 2 the void djkfhsjdhf #its rly long nd a lot of text but i wanted 2 write something nd it got sorta out of hand #i say 2k later kdjhfsjhfkjsd #long post /#IM SO SORRY IF UR ON MOBILE AND THE READ MORE DOESNT WORK #lu.txt #for those who are wondering why its real ass emobebe hours its bc its my 1 year stanning mx and im a Giant Sap #now im gonna shut up and not talk for the rest of the year ://

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