#bcs she mostly takes but doesn't really give. for years. it gets tiring

[runningfrom2am]

in this life or the next

summary: It's the seventy-fifth annual Hunger Games, and you were just unlucky enough to get picked; but lucky enough for this Quarter Quell to feature pre-selected teams. You get paired up with District One's pride and joy, the one and only Rafe Cameron.

pairing: rafe x fem!reader

wc: 15k (oh my LORD)

tags/warnings: its the hunger games so like... yeah... violence and gore and stuff. definitely swearing, spoilers for the og Hunger Games movie I guess (but also not bc i changed it up a bit- you'll see), reader has a special talent that i won't spoil here, Rafe is lowkey a dick at the beginning, Ward being a shitty dad (what's new). also this isn't thoroughly edited bc.. its 15k words and i'm lazy.

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a/n: hello lovelies!! oh my gosh i have been slowly chipping away at this for actual literal months, and i am so proud of how it turned out!! i’m really glad i could finally post it by my birthday!! (i’m 23 wtf??)

thank you so much if you're going to put in the time to read this, but it honestly means a lot to me that you've made it this far. reblogs and likes would be so appreciated and let me know your thoughts in the replies! i really, really hope you guys enjoy reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it. let me know if you want a part two of what happens post games, bc i think i left it at a minor baby sized cliffhanger. anyway, i’m off to eat cake now! enjoy!

Staring blankly out at the crowd in front of you, you attempt to process the echoing of your heartbeat in your ears.

"I'd like us to give a round of applause for our brave, brave tributes this year, and wish them the best of luck in this year's quarter quell!" Your attention is drawn to the woman next to you, the District Five escort, Opal, dressed head to toe in bright yellow. A universally happy color- what a joke.

The crowd is mostly silent and you can't bear the thought of even glancing in the direction of your parents. You turn silently as you're ushered back into the building from the stage, tripping slightly over your feet as the shock sets in. People are talking, possibly to you, but you can hardly hear a thing. You almost made it. You were almost eighteen- one more year and you would have been free.

You were granted the briefest of goodbyes to your family, but you were tempted to even turn that down. An action you regret not taking as your parents walk into the room, your mother with tears already coating her cheeks and your father trying to keep a strong resolve for you and your siblings.

"We'll see you soon, Bug. Remember we love you," He whispers into your hair as you sob into his shoulder. You know he doesn't necessarily mean in this lifetime.

Your tunnel vision settles back in as you're walked out of the room, glancing one last time over your shoulder only to see your dad's shoulders shaking from his silent cries as he turns his back to you.

You are quickly pushed onto the train taking you out of District Five, ignoring the other three tributes and your mentors as they talk. You just stare out the window with tired, red eyes and say a silent goodbye to the home you're already sure you'll never see again.

"Y/N..?" The girl next to you says, tapping you on the shoulder and making you jump.

"Hm?" You hum your acknowledgment, looking at the girl beside you. She's only a year older than you, and you went to school together for years; Maisie, you remember.

"I just wanted to make sure you hear them," Maisie whispers, gesturing to Opal as she starts to explain what the premise of the games is this year.

"So," she claps her hands together, clad in tacky yellow gloves. "I'm sure you have noticed that this year there are four of you, and you'll each be paired up with another tribute to compete. Not necessarily from your own District, but, anything is possible, I suppose. The exciting news is that there's a possibility for two winners this year! You and your teammate will be given a score throughout the games, and if your score as the final two is above ten, you will both be crowned victors!" The woman says excitedly- like it's a good thing.

"And if we don't have over ten?" The boy sitting across from you asks flatly.

"Well... the games shall continue," Opal explains vaguely, but you know what that means. You've seen it before.

"Okay, well, how do we get a good score?" The boy asks.

"I-" The escort starts, hesitance clear in her tone as she's quickly interrupted.

"You kill people," Your female mentor answers. She's leaning her elbows on the end of the table, standing with a knife in her hand, spinning it around like it's some kind of toy.

Your eyes drop from her form, staring down at the table in front of you, suddenly remembering your glass of water and quickly grabbing it when you realize your mouth has gone completely dry just from the idea of what's to come.

You arrive at the Capitol in the middle of the night and despite this fact, the crowds are still there. You didn't expect this, even though you've seen it on the beat-up television in your living room every year. It feels less real, somehow, when you're the one getting pushed through the crowd, not knowing what to do besides give awkward smiles to people yelling your name.

Your room is beautiful. You've never seen anything like this, but you can fully customize it at will with a remote, and this level of technology fascinates you. You spend hours flicking through different images that can appear on the walls, surrounding you in another world. Exhaustion and the sound of an artificial thunderstorm put you to sleep with the remote still resting in your palm.

"Up, up, up, my dear! We've got a big day ahead!" Opal's cheery voice startles you awake from your less-than-cozy spot on the floor. "There's breakfast on the table then we've got to get you down to prep, so hurry up, please." She says, and just like that she's gone, no doubt off to wake the other District Five tributes in a similar fashion.

"You're going to be meeting your teammates for the first time today so you can train together- gosh isn't that just so exciting!" Opal claps as you all stand in the elevator. There's a silence that follows as you and Maisie just nod, not excited about the whole idea. You're about to meet someone who will either be spending the last days of your life with you, or be killing you themselves, and you're not fond of either.

"This way you'll get to train together first, which I do believe to be a very generous act on behalf of the game makers." She adds, making you roll your eyes. How considerate. The most you can hope for is someone who is capable, and preferably someone who isn't in the twelve to fifteen age range, having seen that there were several drawn from different districts.

You shift on your feet as you try to adjust to the uncomfortably tight catsuit they squeezed you into, covered in what must be sapphire and diamond rhinestones, pinching your skin with every slight movement. Gold accents line the seams of the suit, extending out into something that resembles wings and lightning bolts protruding from your back. District Five; power. You get it, but we're the diamonds necessary? You hardly take note of the varying outfits you're surrounded with from the other kids in your district, before Opal is guiding the four of you up the line of extravagant carriages you're meant to parade out on for the people of the Capitol to fawn over.

You take note of where all of the other tributes from Five are lead, guessing based on the order of carriages that Maisie got paired up with another girl from Eleven, and the boys somehow ended up paired together. There must be some sort of personal aspect to this decision, considering you have watched those two boys fight back home. You're last, and Opal looks at you excitedly as you follow her up, and up, and up- to the very front of the line.

"Surprise!" She grins, clapping excitedly as you approach the very first carriage. "Y/N, getting paired with a career is huge. Your odds are good already, your partner has trained his whole life- he even volunteered."

"Sucks for him." You mutter under your breath as you get closer, eyeing up the boy in front of you, wearing an almost matching outfit. All the rhinestones make sense now, blending power with luxury could only mean as much.

"Y/N Y/L/N, meet Rafe Cameron. He'll be your teammate in the games." She smiles as she introduces you.

"Hi." You say quietly, taking his hand as he holds it out to you to help you up onto the carriage.

"Hey." He mutters, avoiding your gaze. It's off to a rough start for him for sure, seeing he's being paired up with someone from an outlying district must be daunting, when for you it should be exciting. Rafe did volunteer, yes, but he doesn't want to risk any kind of attachment- despite what the people of the Capitol want for their entertainment. He wants to come out alive, he doesn't care so much about who he's with.

"Okay, Y/N, remember to smile, please." Opal reminds you and you nod, looking down at her as you hold onto the handle in front of you.

You promise her with a nod, willing to do almost anything at this point to win the favour of possible sponsors. Again, your odds look better next to a career on that front, as well.

Quickly everyone is cleared away from the horses and the carriages and you start moving, catching you off guard and you stumble a little, readjusting your grip on the railing. "Careful." Rafe says beside you, quick to reach out to steady you if you needed it. You think you see the smallest of smiles on his face, but that must have just been your own mind trying to find comfort in anything around you.

"I got it." You whisper, blushing slightly. You've been with your teammate for all of a minute, and you're already proving yourself to be clumsy.

The lights hit your eyes the same time all the cheering does, being the first carriage, it's already so loud you can hardly hear yourself think. You snap out of it quickly, plastering on a smile once you see your own face on a giant screen ahead of you, you don't even look like yourself anymore. Your eyes land on the screen adjacent to the one showing you, seeing Rafe as well. He's smiling too, clearly having headed Opal's advice, or his many years of training is getting to him and he's excited. You really don't know. Then his head turns, and you turn your head as well, making dead eye contact with him for only a moment before he's looking past you into the crowds, taking in the moment.

When you finally get out of the extremely public eye and back into the building you exited from, you feel like you can finally breathe again. Not fully, in the tight, rigid suit they had you dressed up in, but more than you realized you were with all that yelling in your ears and lights in your face.

"District Five, right?" Rafe asks you as you're both stepping down and you nod. "Jeez, you don't talk much, do you?" He follows up with, taking a water bottle from someone who's walking by with them.

"I talk." You reply quietly. "Just... not much to talk about at the moment."

"The shock? Yeah, that'll do it." He nods, taking a sip from the water bottle and holding it out to you. You shake your head and push it away, making him shrug. "Shitty bust when you're not a volunteer."

You just stare at him, taken off guard by the comment. "That being said..." He leans in closer to make sure no one else hears. "I've been waiting my whole life for this, so don't ruin it for me, yeah?"

You pull back away from him and just nod again, not wanting to get on his bad side already. He won't be the one to kill you, probably, but it would still be nice if you spent your final days without your teammate hating your guts. "Thanks, darling." He smirks, patting your shoulder and brushing past you to go to the elevators.

The next day, bright and early yet again, you have your first day of training. You're sure Rafe won't even need it, but you certainly will. Your mentor told you he will likely be using it to size up the other tributes, especially considering there is a staggering amount of them this year, and you will need to focus on survival skills. Only survival skills, if you had to pick one thing- and your mentor drove that into your head until it was all that was echoing in your mind when you entered the training center.

After the trainers speech which ironically tried to do the same thing, you beeline straight for the fire making station. You're shocked to see almost no one else listened, definitely none of the boys, mostly lining up to show off their physical strengths, likely to try and intimidate each other. You'd be lying if you said it wasn't working.

You look up as you hear echoing laughter coming from the other side of the room, eyes scanning over the wall lined with silhouette targets, and racks with an array of weapons before landing on your teammate, laughing away with the other career tributes over a joke you didn't hear. He's got a spear in one hand, leaning his weight on it as his head drops back with laughter. You shake your head to get back on task, rolling the rough wood in your palms in hopes of making a spark. Good to see at least one of you is having fun, especially in your final days.

After a few minutes you get it, sitting back into your calves where you were kneeling on the ground, taking a breath of relief as you're satisfied with your success. You glance around to see how others are doing, giving a small smile and wave to Maisie when you see her, reading a book about different edible plants and trying desperately to memorize every image. You watch as Rafe takes the same spear he was leaning on before, hurling towards one of the targets. A direct hit, right in the chest, slightly right of the centre. You jump a little at the sound it makes on impact, looking finally at the boy who threw it.

He's pacing, huffing and looking a little frustrated with himself. A little to the left would have been perfect, but it was a kill shot nonetheless. There would be no coming back from that, and you count yourself lucky that it likely won't be you in place of the target in the games.

You quickly put out your fire and try again, making sure you've got the hang of it. You'll sit here all day if you must. After three more successful attempts, you're satisfied for the day, deciding you'll return to that station tomorrow and try again. You get up and brush the dirt off your knees, trekking over to where they have supplies to make game traps. You've never done this before, but there's no better time to learn, especially since your teammate has shown no interest in survival skills so far today.

"What are you doing?" Suddenly Rafe is standing behind you, as you're once again kneeling on the ground attempting to get the trigger on your bladeless trap to work.

You jump a little, startled by someone talking to you. "Uh, trying to make a snare, I think." You answer, turning to look up at him.

"Looks good." He nods, crouching down next to you. "Uh, isn't there supposed to be a blade or a spearhead or something on that piece?" He says, pointing to it.

"Well, yeah, I just didn't want to stab myself by accident." You laugh slightly, trying the trigger again- and this time it works, snapping forward into his arm.

"Ouch, yeah, fair enough." Rafe chuckles, rubbing the spot on his arm where the wood made contact.

You just nod and begin to reset it to test it again. "What if you can't get any of this shit in the arena?" He asks.

"What, a stick?" You ask, hitting the trigger one more time, sending the stick into his arm again, which he had decided not to move.

"Ow! Yes, a stick. We don't know what it will look like." He rubs his arm, examining the trap you built closer now.

"Then we're screwed I guess." You joke, leaning back on your calves again, watching him dissect it piece by piece to figure out how it works.

"So, is this like, your thing?" Rafe asks, and you tilt your head at him as you think it over.

"My thing?" You ask, unsure entirely what he meant. "I've never made one before, if that's what you're asking."

"Really?" He seems shocked by this.

"Uh, yeah, really. Unfortunately for you, you got paired up with someone who has zero survival or combat skills."

Rafe looks at you, a smug grin crossing his features. "Ha ha, very funny." He clearly thinks you're joking, but you're definitely not.

"I'm serious." You say, confused as to why he doesn't believe you.

His smile falters, replaced with wrinkles of confusion on his forehead. "But- I just watched you look at the instruction book for no more than like, three seconds before sitting down to make this."

"And..?"

"If you've never done it before it's supposed to be harder than that."

"Well, I've seen other people do it on TV and stuff every year for like, ever." You shrug. "I've just got a good memory, I guess."

Rafe nods, looking at the deconstructed trap in front of him for a moment, thinking about the implications of this. How far does this go? Could he use it? He'd never dreamt of having to work in a team in his games, but maybe it would benefit him after all. "Come with me." He stands up, and you follow as he paces over to two big screens, covered with a large array of different symbols.

"Try this, I just want to see something." Rafe says, standing next to you with his arms crossed as you quickly look over the screen, reaching down toward the one in front of you. You notice quickly that the screens mirror each other, all the images placed in the same spots as they are above. You look up at your teammate briefly who nods at you and then you tap one, watching it disappear from both screens before you tap the matching symbol. It's a matching game.

Your eyes are locked on the top screen as you tap away at the bottom one, quickly making all the images disappear one by one. It takes you no more than a minute to get rid of them all, and then a timer appears on the screen replaying your every move in real-time. Forty-two seconds. Were you really going that fast?

"Neat." Rafe says to himself, nodding as he watches it replay on the screen. That was impressive, sure, but his mind is straining to find a practical implication for this in the arena. "Go back to survival stuff. Learn as much as you can." He settles on, turning and walking off back to where he was before, returning to combat training.

The four days of training fly by insanely fast, and that's likely due to your dread of what's to come. you've got through everything in survival no less than three times, and you're pretty sure last night you dreamt of plants and making a fire. Not surprisingly, Rafe has left you pretty much alone the whole time, but you did watch from a distance as he cycled through every weapon the training center had to offer, proving he's almost mastered every last one. Of course, with over ten years of training, anything less wouldn't make sense. What scares you is the other careers showing a similar skill level to that of your teammate, but he seems to be on good terms with them. Again, maybe this would be a good thing in the beginning of the games.

You sit down for your last day of making fires and fishing hooks, working solely on memory since day one, you're feeling pretty confident that the elements or exposure won't be what takes you out- but you don't know if that's a good thing or not. You just hope your death will be quick.

"Y/N, c'mere." Rafe is suddenly calling to you, motioning for you to join him in the combat area. Not seeing much of a choice, and not looking forward to another day of doing the same thing over and over, you listen.

You make your way over, avoiding the gaze of other tributes who are looking at you like you're about to make a fool of yourself. It's possible you are. "I want you to learn how to use this." He says as you walk up, holding out the handle of a knife to you.

You take it, turning the sharp blade over in your hand. "I thought you were the weapons master." You joke, looking up at him briefly.

"Well, I need you to make fires and shit so you have to stay alive somehow, and if we get separated or something I need to know you can at least defend yourself. These are good from a distance and up close, but remember that any weapon you have they can take and use against you. So keep distance whenever you can." He answers, pointing over to the target about fifteen feet away. "So, throw it."

You look over to where he was pointing, adjusting your grip on the handle as you nod, taking in the information he's dumping on you. He is probably right, especially since you don't think he plans on protecting you himself. Why would he? If you die, he can still win without you.

You lift your arm over your shoulder, closing one eye to narrow down your aim before throwing it hard towards the target, which the knife bounces off of and clatters to the ground. You and Rafe both turn at the same time to look at the group that's laughing at you, the clang of the metal on the cement echoing loudly in the vast space.

"Don't worry about them. They're not there." Rafe is quick to grab another one, handing it to you the same way. "Try again, this time, hold it like this..." He says, grabbing your hand and placing your fingers in the correct spots on the handle. "Keep your wrist tense and straight, don't flick it or anything. Yeah, like that." He nods, taking a step back.

You look over how you're holding it, committing the feeling and finger placement to memory before raising your arm again. You throw it again, and this time it sticks, but your aim is off and it ends up in the target's leg. You look over at Rafe, unsure if you're hoping for approval or just satisfaction. "That's perfect." He nods. "Not a death blow, but that'll buy you time to get away. which is all you need."

"Okay." You agree quietly.

"Would it help if you watched me?" He offered, already grabbing a new knife while you nod. "So, you want to follow through with the throw, your shoulders should end about here if you're doing it right. You get more power that way, and better aim." He explains, standing with one foot forward, parallel to the target.

You step back to watch his strategy, noting the way he held the blade and his form when he aimed to throw it. He lets it fly from his fingers as his shoulders fall forward, smirking to himself as it hits the bullseye circle, right in the chest.

"You got it?" He asks, standing up straight again. You nod in response and he's handing you yet another knife to try again.

You go back and forth for hours, not caring that you're keeping anyone else from practicing. You're not the best at it, but it's become muscle memory now, and every time it sticks, most of the time hitting the silhouette somewhere. You tried the moving targets briefly, the gold, pixelated figures running at you quickly. You were immediately overwhelmed, and Rafe ended up having to step in to help. He said after that the minimal skill you had would be good enough to get away, and that is all you would need. You just have to focus on that.

You didn't talk a lot, besides taking a few short breaks to gather the knives and his arrows as Rafe explained the pros and cons of every weapon they had present, showing you briefly how to use some of them. Mostly how to defend yourself against them. It's hard for him to sum up years of training in one day, but he's dead set on the idea that you won't need most of it- just having to focus on keeping the two of you sheltered and fed, he can handle the rest; hopefully.

You sit outside the training center next to Rafe, waiting for your name to be called. It was the youngest female tribute from his district first, so if you had to guess, you would be third and fourth to go, which doesn't buy you a lot of time to decide what to do to best show your skills.

"What are you gonna do?" You ask, whispering in the deathly quiet room.

"Huh?" Rafe hums, leaning closer to hear you better.

You clear your throat, before speaking this time, unsure if you were clear enough. "What are you gonna do? Like which skill?" You clarify.

"Oh, uh..." He mutters, adjusting how he's sitting as he thinks about what to say. "I'm just going to cycle through some different weapons, different distance targets, I think. My mentors want me to show like, a variety of what I can do."

You nod at this, making a mental note of that. Maybe you should do the matching game and then try the knives. Opal told you that you would be scored both individually, and as a team. You hope you won't bring down his score too much, since you know he's aiming high. You planned on going for a mid-level score, not to be seen as a threat but also not as an easy kill. A perfect six would be your ideal score. "What about you?" Rafe interrupts your thought process.

"I'm not sure." You answer honestly.

"You should do your survival stuff. That will improve our team score, if we show them we have strengths at both." Rafe suggests. That's not actually a bad idea. Your individual score will likely be lower, but that's a risk you're willing to take.

"Yeah, I'll do that."

You ended up scoring a six, the judges obviously not seeing you as any kind of threat. This is what you expected, though, and you were correct about your group score as well. Rafe and you together scored a ten. On his own, he scored a ten, so you hadn't affected it in the way you feared. This left you reeling over the idea of other tributes seeing you both as a threat as you stand in yet another extravagant dress, waiting in line to be called out for your interview. The games were tomorrow, and the last thing you wanted was to get in front of a crowd and subtly plead with them to let you live, to send you gifts, and to give you their sympathy.

So far it's been in the same order they called everyone for assessments yesterday, which means you would be next. Rafe stands behind you, arms crossed in a suit that looks more expensive than any you've seen back home in all of your life, but he looks comfortable in it. Your dress is once again covered in rhinestones, and your waist is cinched in so tight you can hardly breathe as it is, so you're not looking forward to going on stage.

"Our next tribute, welcome to the stage from District Five, Miss Y/N Y/L/N!" You hear the familiar voice of Caesar Flickerman calling you out and some guards usher you forward onto the stage, very briefly glancing over your shoulder at Rafe.

You're quick to smile as you turn back around, giving a small wave to the host and then out to the audience as they cheer for you. For a brief moment, you feel as if they don't plan on watching you die as early as tomorrow, you feel as if they're rooting for you. "Hi!" You say as you get closer and Caesar stands up to greet you, shaking your hand and giving you a quick hug before gesturing for you to sit down across from him.

You look around the large theatre, spotting every camera you can. Your family is out there watching, somewhere, and you know they'll see right through this show you have to put on. You wish they wouldn't. You can picture so vividly your living room back home, with your parents and siblings scattered across the couch and the floor watching you with bated breath, they can see you- and on some level, you can see them too.

"Miss Y/L/N. Thank you for being here." Caesar sighs, reaching out and patting your hand where it sits on the armrest next to you.

"Well, I didn't have any other plans for the night, so..." You shrug, making him laugh. Laughter echoes from the audience and you smile, hoping that your plan to win people over is working.

"What? A beautiful girl like you?" He asks after he's done laughing. "You weren't planning on spending some of your free time with your teammate?" As if you got even a minute of free time since you've been here.

"Well, I guess we'll never know." You chuckle, looking back at the boy where he stands in the wing, giving you a small smile.

"Now listen, Y/N, Rafe is..." He has to stop after mentioning his name as cheers erupt again, laughing as he waits for the audience to quiet down. "Your teammate is, as you may have guessed, a popular face in the Capitol right now. Are you feeling lucky about your pairing?"

Rafe crossed his arms as he watches intently, feeling smug about his odds, especially now knowing the Capitol's opinion of him. He knows his dad is back home watching, full of pride that his son has become a fan favourite.

"I am." You answer honestly. "He's very talented."

"And handsome, don't you think?"

"I mean, who am I to argue with the people?" You joke, waving your hand dismissively as you hear the cheers pick up again. "Besides, his looks won't save us. We will save ourselves." You add seriously.

Caesar nods in acknowledgment, showing that to an extent, he agrees with you. "Well, I hope that you are right, dear." He smiles, getting up to signal you've run out of time. You stand as well, taking his hand as he holds it up above your heads. "It was so lovely to meet you, and may the odds stay ever in your favor. Y/N Y/L/N, everyone!"

You smile and thank him quietly, waving to everyone with both hands as you walk across the stage to exit on the other side. You take a few deep breaths as you step into yet another waiting room, watching the screen as Rafe is called out right behind you.

Rafe sits down on the chair across from Caesar after his introduction, which allows a few moments for the audience to quiet down. He smiles proudly as he rests one of his feet on his other knee, bouncing his leg with anxiety. He hopes it's interpreted as excitement. "Rafe." Caesar smiles at him, sitting back down as well. "I'll be honest, I have been so excited to finally meet you."

"It's good to meet you too." Rafe grins, chuckling slightly at the few whistles he gets scattered from the crowd.

"You got a fabulous score, how are you feeling about that?"

"Really good, yeah. Obviously I've been waiting my whole life for this opportunity, so it feels amazing to see it all paying off." Rafe answers, focussing on keeping the confidence in his tone.

"We can tell, can't we?" Caesar laughs, riling up the audience again, making Rafe laugh to himself as he softly shakes his head. "Yeah, yeah. So, with all this planning you've been doing, how do you feel about getting paired up? You probably expected to be going in solo."

"I did, for sure, but I don't think this is a bad thing." Rafe admits.

"Oh, getting along well with your teammate?" Caesar asks, a hint of suggestion in his tone.

"Yeah, we get on really well." Rafe exaggerates your relationship a bit, knowing it will earn you more sponsors, and maybe keep other tributes away from you in the games. "At least I think we do, I'm not fully sure about her thoughts on me, though."

"You scored incredibly well together, despite Y/N having a fairly average score on her own. What are your thoughts and feelings on that?"

Rafe chuckles as he leans forward a bit, pointing out to the audience as he speaks. "Don't underestimate her based on the score. I won't give you any spoilers, but trust me, don't overlook her. She's got as good a shot as any of us. Maybe better."

Caesar makes a surprised expression as he nods. "Well okay! Does she have some sort of secret weapon we should be worried about?" He chuckles, gripping the armrests and looking around as the audience laughs.

Rafe just shrugs in response, smirking slightly, which you can tell the audience just eats up. You're trying to decide if this is good or bad for you, though, as you watch, gnawing at your nails in anticipation as you stare at the screen.

"Okay, alright, don't spoil anything then." Caesar laughs. "It'll make for a better show, and I can get behind that."

After a moment of waiting for the cheers to die down, Caesar speaks up again. "Rafe, if I can ask, I know your father has a lot of influence in your district- how is he feeling about your selection for the games?"

You furrow your brow a little bit as you look at the screen, finally learning something interesting about your teammate. If he's from a prominent family in District One of all places, that would certainly explain his attitude. Rafe, on the other hand, doesn't want to talk about his father at all- but of course they would bring him up.

"Yeah, of course." Rafe replies, shifting in his seat. "He's thrilled, it's a huge honour to be here, and to be the first out of his children to be chosen is really special to me. I just hope I can make him and my sisters proud, he's always encouraged us to volunteer."

"I'm sure that you will." Caesar smiles at him. "I hope I will have the honour of hosting one of your sisters on this stage one day, as well."

Your stomach churns just watching this. How can any father who loves his children want this fate for them? This was your father's worst nightmare. You watch as Rafe nods with a smile, and you can see behind his eyes that he doesn't want that, not at all.

The audience cheers as they both stand up, shaking hands before Rafe leaves the stage, a cocky smirk on his face as he waves and winks at the audience. Before Rafe makes it down to the waiting room, you're grabbed an escorted out, heading for the elevator back to your room.

You can't eat, but you know you should. This will likely be your last meal for a while. You decide on just taking a large bowl of fruit and toast to your room, trying to get it down slowly with all the nerves, while you have a bath. Your parents never let you eat in the bath. It's hard to get out knowing this is likely the last bath you'll ever have.

The morning goes by in a blur, you feel Opal's arms around you as she hugs you goodbye and wishes you luck. You know you'll need all of it. You stare down at the ground in front of you as you're pushed onto a plane, of sorts, along with all the other tributes. Once you're sat down, you look around at everyone else. You remember all of their names as you scan over their faces, but you wish you didn't. You get stuck on one of the girls from District Eleven, Hope, who was only thirteen.

She's shaking, and you can see that from where you're sat down the row from her. She reminds you of Rue, the tribute from last year. Her death was a tragedy, it broke the hearts of everyone outside of the Capitol and the career districts. Hope's curly hair sat in a bun on top of her head, and tears fell down her cheeks as she sniffled. She got paired up with a girl from Twelve- the lengths the Capitol will go to to make a mockery of last years games will never cease to amaze you.

"Hey, you look a little pale." Rafe whispers, leaning close to you. You didn't even notice him sit down on the other side of you.

You shake your head slightly, looking down at your knees. "I'm fine."

"Don't think about it." Rafe instructs you, holding his arm out for the tracker to be injected as a guard approaches with the device.

You wince as you hear it get shot into his arm and he chuckles, shaking his arm off to ease the sting. You raise your shaking arm as they hold their hand out expectantly to you. You don't know what it is they're putting in you, but you've never been fond of needles. This is a million times worse. "It's not that bad," Rafe tells you, and you squeeze your eyes shut as you feel pressure on your forearm, followed by a sharp, stabbing pain. You bite your tongue to keep from making a sound, dropping your arm onto your lap as they quickly walk away.

"What did they do?" You ask him, trying to keep a steady tone.

"It's a tracker, so they know where we are in the arena." He explains quietly. You were the only two talking, and you notice it's earning you glares from several other tributes. Rafe notices this as well, leaning back in his seat and crossing his arms, taking this time to size everyone up.

The plane takes off, and before you know it, you're landing at the arena on the outskirts of Capitol property. You wonder if you're close to the ocean, not that you'll get to see it anyways.

You're paraded off of the plane, still trying not to let it show how afraid you are of what's to come. You make the briefest of eye contact with Maisie as she's pulled towards a different hallway, and neither of you have it in you to smile anymore.

"We've gotta get supplies, that's our first move." Rafe says to you as you're led out of earshot of other tributes, into your own hall.

"My mentor said to run." You reply quietly.

Rafe scoffs, shaking his head. "Your what, one mentor said that? Cool. I have fifteen that are still alive and well enough to show up every year. I think we should get supplies." He tells you firmly, but you know that will get you instantly killed, maybe not him, but you stand no shot. "Just stick with me if you want to live."

You just nod a little bit, glancing at him again briefly before you're directed into a separate room across the hall from him. His pedestal will be next to yours, which is a bit of a relief. Your stylist quickly instructs you to strip, and then she helps you into the uniform you assume you'll all be wearing. It's exactly the same as last year, you notice this quickly, but with a '75' logo embroidered on the chest where the District Twelve tribute had her pin placed. Katniss, you remember her name was. She had volunteered for her sister, and at the time you contemplated heavily on whether or not you would do the same. She was so, so close to winning- to getting to see her sister again, but she and the boy from her district, the final two tributes, ended up committing together rather than giving the Capitol their Victor. It was an admirable stance, but you couldn't imagine what that was like for her family, and his.

You step off the concrete floor once you're dressed, instructed to get into the pod that will lift you up into the arena; a glass elevator. Your stylist says nothing to you as they walk out of the room, the glass door sliding shut in front of you. Your knees get weak as you realize you are totally, completely alone, and likely no more than twenty minutes from dying. You think of your family, your siblings, your dad- and the last words he said to you. You'll see him soon.

Your thoughts are halted when the elevator starts to move, lifting you up as the ceiling falls away and you can see sunlight coming through. You squint and shield your eyes as you try to look up to get a better grasp on your surroundings before you can even see anything. Once trees come into view you're frantically looking around, trying to process as much information as you can, and quickly. It's exactly the same as last year, but from what you can tell, flipped in reverse, and made larger to accommodate twice as many tributes. Or everything on camera last year was flipped. There's a silver cornucopia in the middle with the timer that's immediately counting down and supplies inside and scattered around the field in front of you. Rafe is to your right, and a boy from Seven on your left. He scored a six, the same as you, so he's not the biggest threat to you immediately.

You adjust your stance, getting ready to run once the timer hits zero. In what direction, you don't know yet. Rafe wants you to run to the supplies, but statistically, the most deaths will happen in the next five minutes and you don't want any part of that. The supply bags and weapons spread out on the grass are all the same too, by the looks of it. The closest bag to you got picked up by the girl from Seven last year, and it didn't have much of anything helpful. If you're remembering right, it had a rope and some matches, and that was it. It definitely would be useful, but you know you can do better. There should be a bag four pedestals to your right, with a water bottle, an emergency blanket, a fire starter, a first aid kit, and a knife. Right now, that's the one you have to get to. That's your best bet.

Ten, nine, eight... The timer ticks down to the final seconds as you look over at Rafe, who's already looking at you. You point to the bag as your eyes land on it on the other side of him across the field, and he looks at you confused. He's closer, he has a better shot, but you know he won't take it.

Rafe is confused, following your finger and spotting the bag. Why would you want that one specifically? There are others closer, he doesn't feel like now is a time to be picky.

Four, three, two...

Your ears ring with shock as the clock reaches zero, and you're watching most of the other tributes booking it for the center. No one has seen your bag yet as you jump down, beelining across the field and narrowly brushing past Rafe in your move for the small backpack. He stops to let you pass, almost crashing into you head-on. He doesn't have time to worry about you, so he continues on his path to the middle, but he's lost time. Precious time that he doesn't have to lose right at the beginning of the games.

He gets into the bloodbath that the cornucopia has already turned into, looking back over his shoulder quickly as he grabs at any weapon he can get his hands on. He quickly has to sacrifice the blade he just grabbed when he hears footsteps quickly approaching from behind him, turning quickly and plunging it into the boy's chest. He doesn't think to look at who it was.

Cannon's echo around you, and you're counting how many internally as you get to the bag, reaching down to grab it as you run past, trying not to slow down. You look back over your shoulder, hoping to spot your teammate somewhere, but you can't see him. You're scanning the area, blocking out the blood you see flying and scattered along the silver metal of the cornucopia. You can hardly hear any screams over the sound of your heartbeat pounding in your ears. You can't help but watch as the girl from Three jumps on who is supposed to be her partner, a girl from Twelve, snapping her neck in a second. Within moments, she just drops to the ground next to her- another cannon following. That makes a strong incentive for working in teams. At least Rafe won't betray you early on.

You freeze up for a moment, stopping to scan your surroundings. You still can't find Rafe, taking in the number of bodies scattered around the cornucopia and a few tributes running into the tree line. At least some people were smart. Something flies past your head, making you jump back a step as you look up ahead of you. Within an instant, you're being tackled back by the body of the boy from your district.

"Y/N, fancy seeing you here." He chuckles darkly while you try and fight him off.

"Don't!" You squeak out, him pressing his forearm down against your throat on the ground.

"I've wanted to do this since the second they called your name." He growls, shoving you down again.

"We can help each other, Jack..." You say weakly, clawing at his arm.

"You don't need me. You've got your career boyfriend- and whatever your secret weapon is." He scoffs. "You don't have a secret weapon, Y/N. He's bluffing and he won't convince us."

You gather all your strength and knee him in the crotch, scrambling to get away as he fumbles for just a moment. "God- you are a bitch!" He shouts, grabbing for your ankle just has you pick up the knife he had thrown at you. You grip it the way Rafe had shown you, quickly shoving it into Jack's leg. You just needed to get away.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" You exclaim, backing away quickly. Jack doesn't say another word, cutting his losses and getting up to make an escape for the woods. You hope he ends up okay.

You make your break for it as well, running back towards the woods as you once again scan your surroundings for your partner.

Suddenly you're on the ground, having run straight into the side of one of the pedestals and falling over it. You yelp with the sudden impact of the ground, scrambling to get up and continue when suddenly someone is grabbing your jacket, slamming you into the pedestal again. You scream, trying to shove them off, but they're much stronger than you. "Jael! Wait, wait- Jael!" You make out your own voice yelling the boy's name, which makes him falter. He's the oldest tribute from Eight- he seems shocked you even know his name.

In the moment when he loosened his grip, he jerks forward and then falls over you, a cannon booming making you gasp as you panic to get away. Rafe is quickly running towards you, slinging the bow he just used over his shoulder and yanking the arrow out of the boy's back. "Y/N, let's go!" He shouts, motioning for you to follow him as you continue toward the tree line, both of you keeping an eye on what's happening behind you as you disappear into the woods.

"Let's stay close, but not too close," Rafe suggests as soon as you feel safe enough to slow down, your chest heaving with the exertion of energy and boost of adrenaline. He glances at you briefly, then does a double take. "You okay? Are you hurt?"

You shake your head, coughing to ease the stinging in your throat. "I'm fine. You?"

"Good," Rafe answers, slowing his pace to match yours.

"We, uh, I think we should go the other way." You say, looking around to try and mentally place where abouts you are.

Rafe stops and furrows his brow at you, seemingly frustrated by your resistance. "Why does it matter?"

"The arena, it's the same as last year. Exactly the same. Just, scaled up a bit." You explain. "We should head south, that's where the river is. We'll need water soon."

Rafe laughs slightly, his demeanor changing as he places his hands on his hips and looks at you. "No shit," He says, truly surprised and impressed that you could tell. A lot of the games tend to look like this, and he would never notice a repeat arena down to the rivers if it punched him in the face. Your 'secret weapon' is already paying off. "And you could tell that right away?"

"Yeah, I mean, I guess so. The bags were all the same, everything was laid out the same. I bet there's a river down south." You nod, having a sudden realization. "We should get to that cave- the one the tributes from Twelve holed up in last year. That'll be a good, stable shelter. We can pretty much wait it out." You say, starting to walk in what you believe is the right direction.

"No," Rafe replies, making you stop in your tracks. "Unless you want me to have to kill you in the end."

"Oh, right." You forgot about that part, keeping score. "We're still going to need somewhere to sleep, though."

"Yeah, we'll find it anyways." Rafe nods, carrying on in the direction you started heading. You follow a few steps behind, keeping a bit of distance in the somewhat awkward silence that fell over you two after his comment about having to kill you.

You walk in the thick of the woods for about an hour before you feel like you're reaching the river. You can feel it under your feet, the soil is slightly softer, and the trees a little more green.

Cannons interrupt your thoughts a few times in the hike, totaling up to twenty-three by the time you reach the riverbank. "You were right." Rafe chuckles, mentally disparaging any skepticism he faced during the long, quiet walk.

"Thank god." You giggle, dropping your bag and crouching down to dig through it, hoping for a water bottle. You were right, everything you expected was accounted for.

"Why that bag?" Rafe says, already sitting down on the rocky water's edge to rest for a moment.

"Huh?" You question, unsure you heard over the shuffling of the bag while you zip it up.

"You pointed to it, during the countdown. Why did you want that one?"

"Oh, uh, like I said they all looked the same as last year, and I hoped I remembered what was inside." You say, laying down to reach into the water and fill up the bottle.

"Were you right?"

You nod with a small smile, sitting back up and holding the bottle out to him as you cross your legs.

"That's actually insane." Rafe shakes his head in disbelief as he takes it, downing just about everything in it before handing it back.

You take it and refill it again for yourself. "I'll choose to take that as a compliment."

Rafe wouldn't admit it, but at this moment as he's watching you drink, he's grateful that he got paired up with you. But now, that it's been shown on national television that you know the arena in and out, he wonders what obstacles the gamemakers will desperately throw your way.

"We should keep moving. I feel like a sitting duck out here in the open, I don't like it." Rafe mutters, checking his attitude as he stands up. You're quick to fill up the bottle again, following behind him yet again as the arrows in his quiver rattle together against his back walking over the rocky and unstable terrain, knife gripped tightly in his hand.

You wonder to yourself how he's feeling about leaving behind his predestined alliance of the career pack, but with the factor of most of them being paired up with other districts, it was already too unpredictable. You wouldn't have stuck around either.

The sun started to set as you followed the river upstream. You didn't want to settle without some kind of shelter, and you were committed to finding that cave before you could relax. You could tell that Rafe had the same idea, his steps ahead of you gradually picking up speed with the bow still gripped firmly in his palm.

"It's a beautiful sunset." You speak your mind before thinking, desperately wanting to fill the silence.

Rafe just hums in response, looking up only briefly before training his gaze once again on the ragged rocks at his feet and continuing on. "What's it like in District One?" You ask.

"Fine." He replies coldly. You aren't sure what you expected, but this response was pretty on par. You knew you had almost no chance of survival, so it would at least be nice to get to know the person you spend your final days with, even if he would be the one to kill you in the end.

"I've never been, but I've heard it's... nice." You've only ever heard about it from the perspective of other bitter individuals from Five, jealous of the cushy lifestyle everyone knew they must have lived.

"Yeah." Rafe agrees, clearly not wanting to discuss it.

"What are your sister's names?" You ask, deciding to push a little bit. It's not like he can kill you just yet.

Rafe sighs, but answers anyways. "Wheezie and Sarah."

You're shocked that he answered at all, but you could tell in his interview that he has a soft spot for them. "Cute." You nod, smiling to yourself. "Is Wheezie a nickname?"

"Yep, it's short for Louise."

"That's adorable." You grin, shaking your head.

"Hey, look. There." Rafe says, changing the subject and pointing down the rocks, where there's a small opening under a ledge.

"That's it!" You exclaim, deciding to drop the topic of his sisters in favour for finding your shelter for the night. You rush past him, watching your step as you climb down into the small cave.

Rafe quickly draws his bow, slowing down and peaking into the cave and bracing himself for your screams. How could you be so careless in a game like this? He doesn't understand your lightheartedness, your somewhat positive attitude, and your ability to make small talk despite the circumstances. "Hey, careful!"

"It's perfect!" You call back out as you look around, and Rafe steps down carefully, looking around more carefully than you had. He relaxes once he's satisfied that there's nothing down there waiting to kill you.

"Nice, okay." Rafe nods to himself, and you both get to work making a small fire near the entrance, hidden from view.

You take off your jacket and roll it up, using it as a makeshift pillow as you lay next to the fire, staring at the orange flicker of the flames you made.

Rafe is sitting across from you, knees tucked up to his chest as he does just the same. His mind is absolutely reeling- he needs to find something to eat, and soon. That will be the first thing you'll do in the morning, he'll have to employ your help to find something edible. "How are you with making traps?" He asks.

"I can do it." You reply, sitting up and leaning on your elbow so you can see him. "I'll set some up in the morning."

Rafe nods a little bit. He already knew you could, of course, but he's wondering about the logistics of how they work. "So like... hypothetically, would they work the same if you made them bigger?"

"Like... human-sized?" You ask, catching on to what he's suggesting. It's not ethical- but nothing about this game is. For you, this would definitely be preferable to fighting other kids to death over and over again.

Rafe nods, adjusting how he was sitting and crossing his legs.

"Yeah. I can't see why not." You answer. "It would be harder since I've never done it, but I think it could work."

"Then I say we try it."

The next day, you wake up as the sun rises and the light beats down on you from the entrance of the cave. You didn't sleep comfortably, that's for sure, waking up twice throughout the night to the sound of the cannon. That's twenty-seven. You wonder how many teams have already reached their ten-kill quota, you imagine someone in the career pack already has. Both times when you were startled awake, Rafe was standing at the cave entrance, bow drawn as he squinted into the darkness, hoping that whoever was out hunting other tributes wasn't nearby.

You sit up slowly, stretching out your tired limbs as you look over to see Rafe, fast asleep with a blade in his hand. You should let him sleep, and get to work on finding something to eat, and making some traps.

You grab one of the knives Rafe somehow collected from the bag laying next to him as quietly as possible, sneaking outside and taking in your surroundings. The sound of the river flowing and the smell of morning dew was amazing- you wish you could truly enjoy it in different circumstances.

You quickly get to work tracking down something to eat, landing on a few different plants you know to be edible. You're trekking through the woods near your cave when you come across an apple tree- making you pause as you look it over. It looks out of place- and maybe no one got close enough to it in the games last time that you wouldn't have seen it, but that seems unlikely. It must be new; it makes for the perfect place to try and set up a trap for the next hungry tribute who would be unfortunate enough to wander too close to your hideout.

You're digging a hole in the ground with your hands, avoiding the roots of the tree and sticking in some sticks you sharpened when you hear a twig snap behind you. You freeze, hoping that by some miracle, it's just an animal. You slowly turn your head to try and look, picking up the knife from the ground next to you and holding it tight.

"Just me." Rafe's voice relaxes you, and you stand up, brushing off your knees.

"You scared me." You admit as he takes to looking down into the hole you just dug.

"That looks... awful." He chuckles, patting your shoulder. "It won't kill, but it'll slow someone down enough that I can finish the job."

You nod slightly, staring into the dirt as well. You hated the idea that you were crafting something intentionally to bring harm to another person, but realistically you have no choice. "We'll set up more, along the riverbed and closer to the career pack. We can't monitor them all at once, though- can you make more fatal ones next time?" Rafe asks, pointing back towards the river to accentuate his point.

"That depends, how many arrows can you spare?"

The next few days saw the death toll rise to thirty-six. You kept track every night, scratching their numbers and names into the walls of the cave despite being able to remember anyway. You viewed it as a small memorial, Rafe saw it as a timer ticking down to when he'd have to kill you.

Your first trap had worked on one person, their screams of pain from a cut-up leg summoning your teammate back to the apple tree. He insisted you stay behind as he finished what you started. You had to reset several other traps as well, closer to the cornucopia.

Rafe would never admit it, but he was really starting to like you. He didn't want to hurt you- he was worried the traps wouldn't do enough. The passive approach you so preferred wasn't what he expected, and he knew his dad would be disappointed in him. But Ward would never understand.

He sighed as he poked at the fire with a stick, leaning his head back against the rocky wall of the cave, another cold night ahead of you.

You had your head laid on his lap, his thigh replacing the thin material of your coat that you had been using the last few days.

"How old are your sisters?" You ask out of nowhere, prompting him to look down at you. He had thought you fell asleep a while ago.

"Why does it matter?" Rafe replies, and you just shrug a little bit.

"Gives us something to talk about."

"Fifteen and Eleven." He relents.

"Hey, me too." You smile a little to yourself.

"You have sisters?" Rafe asks. He never asked much about you- he didn't really want to know, in the case he had to kill you.

"Yep. And a brother." You nod, sitting up a little bit. "He's older though, he aged out last year."

Rafe finds himself clenching his jaw. He can't hear that- to see you as a little sister. He doesn't want to imagine what it would be like to see his sisters face the same fate. "Lucky guy." He says quietly.

"Why? I thought it was a privilege, and all that." You chuckle.

"Well, yeah, but not for most. For the outlying districts like you."

"At least you get it." You agree. "How does it feel? Now that you're here, I mean."

"Scary." Rafe admits, throwing caution to the wind now with what his father will think. "Not what everyone tells you it'll be like."

"Is that because of me?" You ask after a few moments, and he nods slightly.

"Not in a bad way, though. It's just different. I expected to be on my own, to die alone, or kill my allies if I had to. Now... I don't know that I have to. Or if I even could." He can practically hear his father shouting at their large screen at home, or storming out claiming he was an embarrassment. He was told his whole life to never show weakness, to 'be a man', but now, at the end, that doesn't matter to him.

"I won't take it personally." You giggle softly, voice shaking as you try to make light of it. "My family won't either, I don't think. Maybe my dad, at first, but eventually he'll understand. They'll forgive you." You try and ease his mind, knowing that in the case that Rafe does win without you, he'll have to face your family in the next month or so during the victory tour.

"I wouldn't ever expect him to." Rafe tells you, tossing his stick into the flames now. He feels sick hearing you talk about it like it's inevitable- but if he has anything to do with it, you'll be coming home with him.

"They're good people." You assure him.

"Don't say that." Rafe chuckles, shaking his head. "I would never forgive myself."

"Okay, fine. They're awful. Just... the worst." You smile, looking up at him and resting your chin in your hand.

"That's better. Thank you." Rafe laughs, poking your forehead and gazing out onto the river as the flames illuminate the water.

In the morning, you're awoken to something brushing your leg. You groan and roll over, head landing once more on Rafe's extended arm underneath you. At least he was finally getting some sleep, pretty much unable to close his eyes since you set foot in the arena. You feel the brush again, followed by something moving on your arm, several things, suddenly, and your eyes fly open and look down when you remember where you are. You let out a scream, scrambling to sit up and pushing yourself back against the wall.

Rafe wakes up quickly, scrambling for the bow next to him when he realizes it won't be any help. You're surrounded by and quickly almost covered in a sickening combination of snakes and spiders.

You're still screaming, trying to shove the creatures off of you. "Come on- come on!" Rafe is yelling at you, grabbing your arm and pulling you towards the exit. You don't get the chance to grab your back and you regret that as you're jumping into the river in attempt to get the spiders off of your skin and out of your clothes.

You're breathing heavily as you come up for air, and Rafe is quickly there, brushing his hands over your hair to make sure every last spider is gone. He looks back at the entrance of the cave, chest heaving like yours as the bugs and snakes spill out of it. It sends a shiver down his spine- he was never a fan of snakes.

"I guess that's the gamemakers telling us enough was enough." He sighs, gently pulling you towards the shore again a safe distance away. "Are you bit?" He asks once you're a safe distance away.

"I don't think so..." You reply, hiking up the ankles of your pants to look at your calves and over your bare arms as you sit on the shore. "You?"

Rafe shakes his head, doing the same. "It was probably just a warning. We have to move." He quickly lowers his pant leg over the puncture wounds in his leg, hoping you didn't see. If it gets worse, he'll tell you. The bite itself didn't hurt much, so if it's going to be fatal, he's glad he won't have to hurt you.

Rafe helps you up, leading you up towards the tree line. "They probably want to push us in toward the other tributes, I think we should go with it before they throw something worse at us." You, the two of you now left with nothing but what you had on you, along with Rafe's bow and a few spare arrows.

He nods. "It's our best move anyways. How many tributes are left?"

"Twelve including us." You answer quickly. "There's Avril, a boy from six, Maisie, she's from my district, most of the careers I think are still in it but not their teammates," You begin to rattle off the list,

"I don't want to know names." Rafe cuts you off, and you understand why. He's been doing all the dirty work, and part of you knows it's because he's hoping to have time to learn names and feel guilty about it later. Right now, he can't afford to see them as human.

"Right." You agree. "It doesn't really matter, anyways."

"Do you know scores?" He asks, walking alongside you now.

You nod, beginning to list off all the remaining tributes and their scores, from lowest to highest. The lowest being you- and the highest being ten, shared by Rafe and a boy from district two.

After hearing two more cannons that day, and checking all the traps you had set, you're circling back to the river to be near fresh water before you set up camp again. You don't have your water bottle anymore, or anything to set up any kind of shelter with, you do your best. You set up a fire, Rafe insisting that if it draws other tributes to you so be it- he's ready for this to end just as much as you, but you don't want to rush into your death or an ambush. It's safe to say you won't be sleeping tonight.

You didn't sleep, but at least, curled up under a tree, the night sky was beautiful. The stars seemed realistic, and you wondered if somehow they were real. Between the two more cannons that struck overnight, you still wondered if you were somewhere near the ocean, or somewhere closer to home. While you're sitting next to each other in a peaceful silence, both admiring the vastness of the night sky, you hear a ringing sound coming from above.

Rafe quickly stands, reaching for the small silver pack with a parachute before it hits the ground. He's quick to open it as you stand up, looking into the container. You grab the small card, tilting it into the light of your fire to read it.

For our Y/N,

Keep fighting. Please come home to us.

Love You Always, Dad

Tears form in your eyes almost instantly, your hand coming up to cover your mouth. "It's just a water bottle and some kind of granola bars... or something." Rafe says, turning the water bottle over in his hand.

He looks up at you, frowning when he sees how upset you look. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"Nothing." You quickly shake your head, wiping your eyes. "Uhm, it's from my dad."

The fact that your family could spare enough money to send you something in the games at all was amazing to you. You heard horror stories of the astronomical prices of trying to send something from outside of the capitol, without the status and funds of a sponsor.

"Oh." Rafe replies, handing you the tin and bottle now, taking the card from you gently. He reads it over slowly, and over and over again. His family had seemingly endless amounts of money, and they had sent him nothing. He knew his father viewed it as cheating, and that you shouldn't need any kind of help to win. If he loved him, though, that wouldn't matter. He should be willing to do anything he could to keep his son alive. The way your parents did.

"My mom made these." You sniffle, grabbing a small bar from the container in her hand. "They're my favourite, she only makes them on birthdays or special occasions." You explain.

"That's... that's really nice." Rafe says, putting the card back in the tin. He doesn't know how to handle this, or what to say.

You smile sadly as you sit back down against the tree, placing the tin on your lap as Rafe joins you. "Here." You hold the bar out to him.

"They're for you." Rafe shakes his head, pushing it away.

"They're for us." You insist, holding it out to him again. "They wouldn't have sent two if I wasn't meant to share."

"Thank you." Rafe smiles genuinely, for the first time in weeks as he takes it. He's starving, having eaten only small amounts of meat and plants over the last week or so, so he's quick to take a bite. It's sweet, more so than he expected. He never thought he could enjoy sugar this much.

"No wonder they're reserved for celebrations, hey?" You giggle, having intently watched his reaction.

Rafe nods. "Yeah, it's really good. Super sweet." He says, mouth still full. You grin, satisfied as you take a bite of your own.

The night flew by so quickly, you're feeling as though it must have gotten shorter. The sunrise went by fast too. You're guessing the gamemakers and the viewers were getting antsy. To be honest, you were as well.

Renewed with your energy the sugary baking your parents had sent, you set about gathering food and water, while Rafe goes on to check a few of your traps to see if they needed to be reset. He could do it on his own, but he liked watching you do it, working the ropes between your fingers and tying intricate knots, pulling back on the stick used to trigger the arrow. By the afternoon, having taken a mental note of the amount of cannons that had fired. It was a few, at least. You must be getting down to the end. He prayed it wasn't you, but the cries of some kind of mutts in the distance right before the cannons lead him to believe that you were fine- but he should be getting back soon anyways.

You were wandering down to the water, reluctant to leave your camp, but you knew water was a priority. You were just filling up the new bottle when you heard a scream. It sounded like a boy. You quickly look back over your shoulder, noticing it was nearby. Toward the apple tree. You stand slowly, looking around as you attach the water bottle back to your side with a carabiner, reaching instead for the knife Rafe had left with you. God, you hoped it wasn't him. The absence of a cannon gives you hope, though.

You quietly head in that direction, watching your step so your presence isn't detected. When you get closer to the tree, you hear crying. Painful crying, as you're faced with the reality of the trap you set.

You watch from behind a tree as the boy from eight tries to pull his leg up from the ground, screaming out again as the sharp sticks dig into his flesh. You should go get Rafe- you feel guilty, but you can't kill him yourself. You turn quickly, and before you can get a step away you're face to face with one of the other careers- a sword held up against your neck.

"Don't move." Blake says, a smile that can only be described as evil spreading over his lips.

You try and scream out for help, hoping Rafe was still in earshot but a hand is quickly covering your mouth. "Not yet." He whispers, shaking his head. "We've got a plan, it'll be fun. You wouldn't want to ruin that, right?"

As Rafe gets back to your small camp, he expects to see you there waiting. He scans the trees above him, wondering if you had climbed up for some reason. He calls your name when he doesn't see you, brow furrowed. You definitely should be back by now. As he's heading down to the water to look for you, he hears a cannon, which at this point wouldn't bother him- if it wasn't for the scream that followed after. It was you. No doubt in his mind that it was you. With his bow drawn, he's moving quickly towards where he heard your voice, throwing caution to the wind.

You scream again, crying as the tip of the sword is dug into your shoulder, laying down next to the apple tree. You can't help it- but you don't want their trap to work. You don't want Rafe to come, so you bite your tongue until you taste blood, hoping to keep quiet. "It'll only get worse for you if you don't scream, Y/N/N." Blake scolds you, digging in the blade more. "He has to hear you." He adds through gritted teeth.

You hear a twig snap just outside the small clearing, and Blake is quickly turning to look with the sword still pinning you to the ground. "Rafe it's a trap!" You shout, hoping that it's him.

Rafe steps out then, into full view with his bow drawn as he aims at the boy in front of him. When they first met, he knew they would have been good friends if they met anywhere else. "You won't shoot me." Blake chuckles, and Rafe quickly readjusts his grip.

"I will." Rafe says sternly, pulling the string tighter as Blake moves the sword to hover over your chest. Over your heart.

"If you shoot, the last of my energy will go into killing her. I don't think you want that." He shakes his head, smiling smugly.

"I don't care." Rafe says, making your heart clench. You know that you're friends, at the very least. He does care. He's bluffing- you have to believe that.

"If you didn't care you would have shot me already." Blake calls it, and Rafe tenses up, looking down at you only briefly.

"Then what do you want?" Rafe spits.

"Oh, nothing. I just wanted you to watch." Blake shrugs. "Just makes it a little more fun, you know? But don't worry, you'll be next." You know he just wants to prove himself, somehow, not having scored as high as Rafe did. You wonder if his family was somehow similar- that he needed some kind of approval that he thought he might find through sadism.

Rafe looks down at you again, and you just nod, tears streaming down your temples to your ears. He quickly readjusts before letting the arrow fly, planting straight in the shoulder that held the sword as you quickly roll over, slicing across your chest and shoulder in the process. It was well worth it.

Rafe fires another arrow into his chest, not taking any risks and the cannon quickly follows as he rushes to your side.

"Are you okay?" He's asking, hands hovering above you as he's kneeled next to you, unsure what to do.

You nod, still biting into your tongue as blood continues to slide down your skin, dampening your now torn up clothes.

"It's not that bad." Rafe says, looking over the cuts as best he can, but you wince when he pulls the fabric away. "You're gonna be fine, alright?"

"Yeah, yeah..." You mumble, letting your head fall back against the brush below you. Rafe is quick to take his coat off, using it to push down on the deepest part of the wound on your shoulder, trying with his other hand to apply pressure to the rest of it. You try and focus on your breathing, rather than the pain, but it's hard when a significant amount of weight is being applied to your shoulder and chest.

"I'm sorry, I have to." Rafe tells you, jaw tense as he lifts his coat to check whether or not the bleeding has slowed. You didn't even realize you were crying.

After a few minutes, he's lessened the pressure a bit, still holding the fabric firmly over your skin. "You could have ran." You mumble, voice hardly above a whisper.

"I wasn't gonna leave you." Rafe shakes his head, gently peeling away his now blood soaked windbreaker.

"You at least shouldn't have saved me. Not much point in that, is there?" You smile softly, trying to sit up and Rafe is quick to help.

"There is. You have to win." He mutters.

"I'm not winning, Rafe." You smile sadly at him. "Infection will kill me if you won't, and if no one else does first."

"No, they'll fix you up. This cut will be gone in a week, the technology they have is-"

"Rafe." You grab his attention again and he looks up to meet your eyes. They seemed to suck in all the light of the sunset above the two of you, reflecting back at him in a way that makes his breath hitch. The thought is cut short, however, when you say something that breaks his heart. "Don't give me hope like that."

"Why? You're gonna go home. I mean it." He promises. "I'll make sure of it."

"I don't think we have enough." You remind him sadly, a small smile still evident on your lips as you reach up to cup his cheek in your palm. "I never expected to go home. I'm okay with that."

Your friend shakes his head softly. "That doesn't matter. You have your family to get home to, I read that note from your dad. They need you, I can see that. For me, these games are all I was raised for. I have nothing left for me after this." He admits, avoiding eye contact with you.  "I could never forgive myself if I didn't get you home."

Tears are forming in your eyes again as you look up at him. The world is watching, and in this moment of vulnerability you feel that more than ever- despite the quiet sounds around you being only the rushing water in the nearby river and the birds chirping around you. "You're a good person, Rafe." You smile at him, watching as he gently raises his hand to yours, grabbing it in his own. "I hope you know that."

In this moment, you settle on the idea that you would die for him. You never understood last years tributes, honestly, how they were willing to die for each other instead of getting home to their own loved ones, but now you do. Completely.

Without a second thought, you find yourself leaning closer, Rafe doing the same as he kneels next to you in the dark. Your eyes meet once more, lips only an inch from touching when you hear a howl in the distance, and you snap your head to the direction it came from. "The Mutts... Already?" You say, scrambling to get up and ignoring the pain in your shoulder.

"I- I heard them earlier, they sound far away." Rafe says, trying to calm you.

"You heard them? You didn't tell me?" You ask, frantically grabbing his bow from the ground and handing it to him as he goes to pull the discarded arrows out of Blake's body.

"I didn't think it mattered!" He defends, trying to hide the panic in his voice.

"There were four left last year when they sent them out. I think... yeah I think that's right. There's four of us. We have to run." You say in a panic, pulling on his hand. "Our best bet is making it back to the cornucopia."

"It'll be too open- can't we climb a tree or something?" Rafe says, following after you as you're running through the bush now in the direction of the open field.

"I don't know if that will work, but I know we'll be safe there." You explain like it's obvious. "We have to risk it- and if you can get to the others first, if they have the same idea, we'll be at ten."

You're out of breath already, adrenaline pushing you through as you hear scattered barking getting steadily closer after one more cannon. Part of you wants to stop, turn, and force Rafe to take the win if you couldn't have it, but with any hope left, you have to try and get back to where this started. The traps was an unfortunate choice in how you got your kills, because you couldn't keep track of how many since by the time you got around to checking them, the body's would have been airlifted off if it wasn't a misfire. If you had to guess, though, you were sitting at eight.

Rafe is running similar calculations in his head as he lets you lead him by memory straight to the field, mind short-circuiting as he sees the silver moonlight reflect off the cornucopia.

You sprint across the open field, blood pouring from your undressed wound again with the intense exertion of energy. Rafe doesn't pass you, though, despite you expecting that he would. You have tunnel vision as you make it to the metal structure, practically slamming into it before you can even stop. Rafe is quick to lift you and shove you up, both of you looking over your shoulders as you struggle to hold onto the edge, kicking the sides to hold yourself up.

You finally get up, reaching down to help pull Rafe up. He grabs onto your arm for leverage, mostly pulling himself up and you wince as you feel the tension from his weight in your cuts.

You flop down onto your back on the cold surface as he climbs over you, immediately standing up with bow drawn as he intently scans the surrounding area. He's only got the two arrows left, which makes him nervous if that's all he has to defend the both of you with.

You try to settle your breathing, which only lasts for a moment until the sky lights up with the recap. You miss your cave, where you could contribute to your memorial, especially seeing the face of Maisie flash above you on the sky while the anthem plays.

You close your eyes, just listening to the music now until you hear barking just outside of where Rafe can see, and you're quickly sitting up. He draws the bow tighter, aiming in the direction the howls came from just as someone pushes out into the clearing. Rafe is aimed straight at them, bow string pressed to his cheek. He's getting dizzy, and quickly. His aim can't fail him now, he doesn't have that option.

You watch them, in the dark you think it's the other boy from district one, and in your exhaustion you can't remember his name. You wouldn't dare say it, anyways. He's screaming for help, a call you know you can't answer, and you watch as they stumble on their feet, shoes and hands digging into the ground as they try to get up, just ten or so yards from you by now.

Rafe wants to shoot just then, it would be as simple as letting his finger loose and the arrow would fly towards its target. It would be a merciful end for the boy he's trained with for years now, only a couple years younger than him. The muscle in his jaw is aching from the tension he's put on it when he forces himself to let go. He has to do it, for himself, if he wants to go home.

He misses. The yelp of one of the mutts tells you it landed in a paw or back, and you look up at Rafe who's already drawn his second. "Rafe!" You cry out, pushing yourself up onto your feet and standing behind him now.

He hates to admit that your empathy has rubbed off on him. Watching you every night carving seemingly endless names and numbers into the rocks that lined the space you stepped in. He recalls waking up one morning and seeing your name and his carved in as well, closer to where he laid by the fire, his underlined and yours with a heart at the end. Like a signature on the top of a math test. He had wondered if you always wrote your name like that, and in this moment as he releases the bow again, he knows he has to find out for himself.

It happened so fast, the mutts knocking down the boy and the arrow flying from Rafe's shaky hands into where he should have been right as the cannon sounds. You don't know that it was Rafe's arrow that did him in.

"No..." You mumble, clamouring forward and onto your knees again to look over as the boys body is torn apart by the mutts. "You had to have done it. You had to." You say, trying to get a better view.

In a second, Rafe's arms are around you and he's pulling you back from the edge, sitting now behind you with his arms wrapped tightly over your body. "It's okay.. it's over." He mumbles, kissing the side of your head as the sunlight comes over the trees. He's fighting off the urge to vomit, everything spinning around him now.

You sit with him, gripping onto his arms and crying. Nothing is happening, so you must not have made it to ten. You feel sick- your heart is in your throat and suddenly you're really hot, moving away from him to look over the edge again, this time incase you have to throw up. You freeze, looking over to where the boy's body once was. The second arrow was in the ground. He missed again.

Rafe sees it at the same time as you. He sighs, hanging his legs over the edge. "Shit... Y/N, I'm sorry." He mumbles, gently reaching over to rub your back.

"No, no. It's okay." You insist, sitting up next to him. "I knew this would happen."

"I'll get you home." Rafe says, sliding down the side of the cornucopia before you can stop him. He stumbles the landing, swaying in his walk as he heads towards the arrow lodged into the dirt.

"Wait! Wait, wait, Rafe!" You're sliding down after him, running to his side and grabbing his arm before he can get to the arrow in the ground.

He turns to you quickly, hand on your cheek and he's pressing his lips to your forehead. "Sit with me?" He asks, knees already giving out as he falls to the ground.

You're instantly on the ground beside him, practically holding his head up with your free hand as you search him visually for some kind of injury.  "What happened? Are you hurt?"

"Uh, I guess so." Rafe mutters. "Snake bite. I think."

"You didn't tell me? I could have fixed this, I could have helped..." You ramble on, his eyes dropping shut now. "Hey, eyes open."

"It's okay. Just sit with me..." He says again, smiling weakly. "Wait with me... please?"

You nod, sniffling as you fight back the tears that want to fall. "Yeah, of course. I'll stay."

Before he closes his eyes, the music starts again and your eyes are drawn up to the sky after you notice Rafe is looking first.

Then, begins a similar slideshow of faces you recognize. Ten in total. Rafe's eyes flicker with slight recollection, remembering any kills he made himself and you gasp when you see Jack. Whatever damage you had done when he tackled you on the first day must have killed him. "Rafe.." You mumble, lowering your eyes to meet his. "I think we won."

Your point is accentuated by the voice of the head gamemaker over some unseen speakers. "Introducing the Victors of the Seventy-Fifth Annual Hunger Games!"

"We did it." Rafe laughs weakly, squeezing your hand.

You fully ignore the aircraft hovering down in front of you on the grass, turning your head to look down at him. You don't say anything, neither of you do, and you finally feel your lips against his. The kiss is bad, it doesn't really work when both of you are stuck smiling ear to ear, but you don't care one bit. The only thing that matters is that you got this chance at all.

Rafe pulls away from you slowly, using all the strength he has left to lift himself onto his feet as you steady him. "He needs help!" You shout to them, and you're quickly being lead onto the plane.

"They've got really good technology," You mock what he said to you just the day before. "It'll be like it never happened in a week, okay?" You chuckle, feeling waves of happiness, worry, and relief all at once as you quickly wipe away a tear with your free hand, other arm wrapped tightly around Rafe's waist to hold him up.

He laughs, and you lean into him more, your forehead against his shoulder as the aircraft door slides shut behind you.

taglist: @bookishbabyyy @madelynie, @whore-4-drewstarkey, @slut4drudy, @winterrrnight, @totalswag, @sadfury @fullfledgedemo @rafemotherfuckingcameron, @urfaveluvr, @chenslucy, @hxnnah-397, @s-we-e-t-t-ea, @tahliac11, @saccharinesammie, @ietss, @maybankslover @redhead1180, @suzyheartsrafe, @wpdailyminimeta, @aegons-bitch, @rafegirly, @lovelyxtommy @dee127

[puzzled-pegasus]

Heroes of Olympus---fitness/body related hcs

***Idk if anyone would even plan on it but Please do not comment or tag this as anything sexual as it is not meant like that in any way whatsoever***

Percy

Everyone lost some weight on the big Argo II voyage due to stress and all the fighting and everything, Percy is no exception. 

In general, though, he is still leaner than Jason and has slightly less upper body/ pectoral strength than he does.

However, he has THE fucking core strength ever

Unless he's been really, really exerting himself he normally has a cushion of belly fat over his abs but if you feel his abs they're wow so strong

Also bunch of shoulder strength, he does lots of climbing

He honestly needs some squish especially in scenes set After Gaea’s defeat. One of the reasons im writing these hcs is that I hate the fanarts that give the demigods six or eight pack abs and 0 body fat like?? Have u ever seen a 16-17 year old boy with chiseled abs. Especially one that eats like mr Jackson. His mother is feeding him good on seven layer dip and cheeseburgers and cookies and blue candy and he drinks blue cherry Coke and eats his fill of barbecue every day at camp you Cannot tell me he has no body fat arrgggh

He probably looked like that while he was in Tartarus though bc he was probably really dehydrated and exhausted lmaoo

V good sense of balance and coordination

Jason

Jason’s got more strength in his arms/shoulders/upper body than anything else

Big arm and chest muscles

Also naturally has belly--when he's not worried abt food--but he tends to stand taller so you can't see it as much

Probably lost the most weight on the voyage. Too busy making sure everyone else was okay and also healing from his various injuries. He also had to be absolutely sure there was enough food for everyone else so he was worried abt taking too much

Generally spends more time exercising and has hardly ever seen a junk food in his life and eats a lot of protein bc hes always lived at camp jupiter so he's very muscle

Piper

Piper didn't really start exercising until she came to camp so she's probably the least physically strong in comparison

More squish than Annabeth. Carries fat in hips and thighs and belly

Thinks/feels like she's fat and low key worries abt it

Was only mildly disappointed when she started demigod training and her belly didn't instantly disappear lol

Kind of jealous of how Annabeth is so thin and athletic but Annabeth wishes she had Pipers thighs/boob/curves loll the curse of being a woman

Piper also feels like she has baby face compared to Annabeth bc she has chubbier cheeks and it annoys her

She's got a pretty good sense of balance tho

Pretty good at running fast but she doesn't have as much stamina as Annabeth

Shes quite flexible also

Pretty good swimmer

Annabeth

Naturally quite thin

been training her whole life so she's got strong arms and legs and core

Really good at running and sprinting

Very agile too

Core strength and upper body strength 

Great at dodging attacks, less good at blocking

Tallest of the girlies

Climber shoulders/back muscles

Wishes she had Piper’s curves kinda. She doesn't care all that much but occasionally is like damn wouldn't that be nice

Frank

Arrgh I hate how in the middle of the series Rick took away all of his fat. Screw you sir. Put it back. Put it bacK

So Frank Immediately gets his tum back in the span of a few weeks

He's also really tired for the next however long after the Mars boy magic adrenaline wears off bc where's his fuel??? Gone!!

Very good at Lifting stuff. He had to carry stuffs for his grandma all the time bc she was old

Mostly strong in the arms and chest/pectorals

His growth spurt happened real quick so he's still not used to how big he is which is why he's all clumsy

Needs to work on balance and coordination lol

Although he got most of his chub back, his Babyface™ didn't come back quite so strong

Hazel

Hazel is the shortest girlie

Was really thin back in the 40s and then gained quite a bit soon after she came back to life. She was very confused and probably horrified

This was bc of a combination of having a growth spurt, pressure on little girls to be thin back then and the times having changed now, having enough to eat now, and changes in the amounts of additives and high fructose corn syrup and shit in foods

She was really distraught for a while bc much like Nico’s internal conflict with The Gay, decades ago being chubby was an unforgivable sin for a little girl

Obv not to Nico’s extent bc I don't think people were killed for being fat but still

It takes her a while to see it as not a bad thing but just a thing

She has pretty evenly distributed muscle strength because when she started exercise at camp jupiter they worked All The Groups

Leo

We love our tiny little shrimp man

He didn't get enough to eat during his growth spurt so he's kind of stunted

Even though he's a hephaestus boy he could not for the life of him build a lot of muscle

He's not that strong

He's probably pretty flexible though

Nico

Also stunted because he didn't eat enough in his growth spurt

Pretty strong though

Smol but he is still growing

Is getting taller and will almost definitely surpass Leo

Also is slowly gaining a healthy amount of weight as he stays at camp and Will makes him eat and sleep more regularly and now he's less tired all the time

Pretty good core strength and balance and agility

Looks more his child age now that his cheeks are more filled in

Reyna

Buff Girl

Girlie works out when shes stressed and now she's got muscles like steel cables

Im talking arms, shoulders, core, legs, glutes

Can arm wrestle Jason and win even if he does try his darnedest

Incredible sprinter

Does so many squats that she got the whole bakery lol

Really likes her muscles

Flexes in the mirror

Jason expressed to her how impressive it was a few times and it was partially why she fell in love with him lol

Will

Will has pretty good arm muscles actually and can lift heavy stuffs

Can lift his bf easily

He has a soft tum tho and padding on his arms

Does yoga and stretching and that works his core

Soft

Eats good proteins and veggies and gets good sleeps

Healthy boi 10/10

[allthecastlesonclouds]

bulleted headcannons of fh dance studio 🫴

oh my GOSH okay yes!!

aguefort owns the studio. nobody knows how bc he does one (1) type of dance and it's fucking BALLROOM. he somehow keeps the studio running though so nobody stops him

ayda works the main office mostly. she danced at a studio that did the yearly nutcracker and then got tired of it and wanted to learn some other versions.

(she does a lot of contemporary now, especially to hip-hop music. it's cool as hell.)

kristen does modern and takes ballet. she tries so hard and she is so strong but she is. absolute shit at anything harder than a piqué. she likes modern bc cass lets her work in her ribbon dancer. she's also Really Good with choreo and technique!! she can spot the issue in Seconds

she helps out around the studio a lot too!! definitely not to see more of the girl with the pretty side cut who dances in the later hours :)

gorgug does hip hop bc he loves the community aspect of it! and ballet- he does a lot of the background/supporting work.

he's never had a solo. all the bad kids want him to ask for one because he's really fucking good how dare he. he tells them that aguefort doesn't like him.

(arthur doesn't like him. ayda would fight the world for him.)

fig is a jazz+tap girlie but she was Raised on ballet+tap so she's signed up for ballet too! she's been doing tap since she was So Little and it's genuinely just. her favorite thing ever.

she crashes the hip hop classes often. nobody stops her because she has the Energy Ever.

adaine, like fig, was put into ballet as a kid (along with aelwyn)

she met riz and he dragged her to a hip hop class and she simply. has not gone back. added contemporary onto her repertoire and a technique class and pointe. definitely the busiest out of everyone.

riz tried it for like. school. and fucking loved it. he thought it would be good networking, good resume filling, good exercise- and also he loved it. that comes last in the list of importance tho

that guy choreographs and performs the most complex ballet pieces known to man. kristen has tried one during an after-recital party and that video is used as blackmail to this day

he does ballet and jazz. he's tried every class at the studio and settled into those two. he's perfectly fine in his comfort zone thank you!

fabian started as a solely Jazz dancer. his dad died and he underwent a whole buncha self evaluation and then signed up for so many classes- he's taking no joke like 10.

jazz. ballet. tap. technique. modern. contemporary. hip hop. pointe. he's doing it all and having the Time Of His Life.

and now we get into the actual *studio*! whoaa it only took 17 bullet points!

their studio doesn't do a show performance, like the nutcracker, or competitions, but they do work a lot on choreography and do multiple performances throughout the year

you can request to do a solo/double/group piece that's multi-track! ayda Somehow fits it in the schedule. you get a teacher advisor (for the bad kids maybe jawbone?) who gives advice but the dance is mostly choreographed by you

these dances are the highlights of the recitals. fig wants to do one but is already doing a solo so she wants to work on a group piece! she and adaine have traumabonded in multiple classes so she asks her first

adaine goes. you're not gonna believe what i'm about to do. and snags riz. fig grabs gorgug. they're the initial four.

they spy fabian after a late-night rehearsal having a mental breakdown through dance and go huh. he was already becoming less stuck up. let's speed up the process.

kristen swings by later, sweeping and restocking toilet paper and shit and offhandedly offers some solutions to things they're struggling with

and lo and behold the bad kids are created! they have No Concept of time ever. but they're gonna choreograph a dance and by god it's going to look good!!

[sea-adhesiveness537]

Emmet is not ok I make myself sob daydreaming the period Emmet was without Ingo

Space-time distortions open up in Hisui due to the rift, bringing with them pokemon and objects from other places and times like we see in canon. This is because whenever a distortion opens, a mirror distortion opens in another space/time. A pokemon/object will go back to its original space/time once the distortion closes, unless it leaves the distortion in landed in. If a pokemon lands in Hisui and leaves the distortion in Hisui, it can no longer return, even through another distortion. It's stuck

Ingo was in the wrong place at the wrong time and got caught in a mirror distortion that sent him to Hisui. Humans are not supposed to travel in space/time and it disoriented him, causing him to stumblebout of the distortion, trapping him in Hisui (this is the same reason pokemon in the distortions act aggressively). The trip through dimensions humans are not built to travel through also scrambled his head up causing his amnesia

Lady Sneasler ends up finding him passed out in the snow and takes him to the Pearl settlement. She's usually not a people person but for some reason she takes a very strong liking to the strange man who can't speak a word of the Celestica language

Irida has only been leader for 10 months at this point since her father and Sneasler's last warden passed in an avalanche. She's only 15 and is expected to confer with the clan elders for all big decisions but she's kidna tired of them not respecting her as a leader so to prove her agency she goes against their wishes and accepts Ingo into the clan

Once Ingo learns the language and settles in the clan she also gives him the title of warden as he is the only person Sneasler has shown any interest in since her last warden died

(Irida: I'm so stressed but it's not like a new warden for Lady Sneasler is just gonna fall from the sky

Sneasler: Hey Irida look at this weird guy I found that fell from the sky

Irida: Are you fuckin-)

4 years after arriving Ingo meets Akari and quickly bonds with her over their mutual amnesia (difference is Akari's was on purpose from Arceus but they don't know that. Arceus doesn't know nor really care about Ingo's whole situation) and they get to be found family bc I love them

This has ended up very long and about Ingo instead of Emmet so I'm gonna send another ask about Akari and another about Emmet

SU! Cynthia: "You were once Volo, and then you turn into me? Right?"

:0 Idk why, but Dawn/Akari throwing hands with Cynthia years later is SUCH a hilarious mental image XD. Also, I can imagine our Cynthias just talking and being curious about one another xndjddmidjr.

(SU! Cynthia: "So you were once Volo, but then you turned into me? Am I getting it right?"

Your Cynthia: "It's complicated. How did you lose your, er, parts?"

SU! Cynthia: "Oh, it's a very long story, but it's always started with a mouse. :)"

Yours: "Okay...")

Also, I'm glad Emmet turned out mostly okay in the end (from what I'm getting) and reunited with his bro. Because my friend's Emmet just straight up turned into a fusion of Giratina 💀 (the transformation was gradual from what I got from their rambles).

Again, really interesting lore! I do have a question though. What do you do with certain lore bits with the anime if you were to incorporate little snippets of the other lore bits from it? Because some of it can be contradicting or different at times with Ash in the picture.

[demonsfate]

me personally, i feel like booboo the fool 🤡 bc i got hopeful seeing how old victor was so i dared to wonder if reina would be. Not Young SKSBSJSNSB i forgot only males can be over 25!!!! OF COURSE they made her a highschooler 💀

i DO like her characterisation and i get it but like. i feel like things like her voice and attitude don’t really match her appearance…? with the way she acts, i feel like it would have made sense to make her, idk, a little older? not 30, bc that would have been too much for the babies at namco to handle 🥺🥺 but at least, not a highschooler!!! there was literally no reason for that except for the fact that they’re cowards LMAO. i would have been pissed if they made her all squeaky and shit. but at least right now, i just don’t feel intimidated by her at all. idk personally i find her characterisation (mainly her voice tbh) a little jarring with her young looking design and she just seems like a little shit AJSBSBSB

really im not surprised AT ALL, but a sigh was still soghed 😔 ig we’ll find out in january what she’s really about. i have a feeling i’ll warm up to her at some point though

LIKE. i was already expecting reina to be young. i knew there is no way she's gonna be as old as kazuya or lee. but i was guessing she'd be around 24-28 years old. i was... not expecting her to be a high schooler LOL. like, for some reason, that took me by surprise. so reina was worse than i was expecting!!

and i know, know, there ARE plenty of old dudes who have children later in life. but the problem doesn't necessarily lie in heihachi having a kid at a late age, it lies in the fact that there can't be any older females in the tek series. jun's the only "older" woman we have whose actually 40+ in the game. nina and anna don't really count since they were cryogenically frozen, and therefore haven't actually aged mentally or physically since tek2. hell! even lidia is only 29, and according to her backstory, was apparently 21 when she got into office. except... i looked it up and yup

poland's the same rules as we are, you have to be 35 to be president. they couldn't even make a PRESIDENT 35 years old. so, of course heihachi's youngest kid is his daughter.

and i do agree, it is kinda bizarre since... they did actually give her a fairly deep voice (as you would expect heihachi's daughter to have) which isn't seen often with the "school girls" of tekken who usually have higher pitched voices. so idk why they went with the idea that she's a high schooler at xiao's and jin's school. since that raises questions (has she seen xiao and jin before?) but... MAYBE she's actually gonna have something to do with jin and xiao, so maybe THAT'S why she has to be a high schooler. we'll see when the game comes out. right now, reina's background is a total mystery, we're only guessing what it could be. hell, her being heihachi's daughter isn't even actually known yet, we're just assuming due to her taking his personality / movesets, and the leak.

which, yeah... that's also why i'm scared she'll be an actual threat / hinderance in the story. because a high schooler isn't all that intimidating. an older woman would've been much "scarier", and more believable she could go up against the likes of kazuya and even jin. which i've seen many people try to defend it with "so what if it's a high schooler flooring kazuya? this game is full of unrealistic crazy stuff!" and it's like i'm SOOO tired of "TEK IS UNREALISTIC IN THE FIRST PLACE, SO THE SUSPENSION OF BELIEF SHOULD JUST BE COMPLETELY SNAPPED!!11!" it's like..... a story can be fantastical, but still have grounded rules for its own universe. and when it comes to power level scales, the series has been... mostly consistent. so to have a teenager who can possibly be a threat to kazuya or jin is just going too far imo. BUUUT... we also don't know if that's what's going on. we'll just have to see when 8 arrives.

which i would've liked reina a lot more if it just wasn't for her connection to the story, and my fears i have regarding her because of that. but we'll see when the game comes out. maybe i'll be blown away and she'll become one of my favorites. we won't know until we play 8!

[mimis9thcircle]

dumb idea + some dumb hcs to go with it

post canon persona au but it follows the characters who work in law enforcement (katsuya, akihiko, chie, naoto) and its one of those really dumb 90s sitcoms where instead of them solving/fighting actual crimes its just them doing wacky hijinks and accidentally committing the crimes. (this takes place in that one au from my ask blog lol).

Headcanons for this bc why not.

Ages

Katsuya: 50

Akihiko: 32

Chie: 29

Naoto: 28

.

Katsuya:

-The mom of the group, is the oldest and helped mostly everyone get their jobs.

-The police chief with a lot of experience and burnout.

-Has had Akihiko arrest Tatsuya at one point for speeding (it's ok they still have a healthy sibling relationship).

-The character that can be logical and reasonable but stopped caring 3 seasons ago.

Akihiko: -Barely 32, yet has had more midlife crises than the average accountant.

-Stopped shaving consistently after 23 and as such has a lot of stubble.

-He cuts his own hair because he doesn't trust anyone with his hair (Naoto, Shinji, and Ken beg him to go to a barber).

-Probably shows off his scars to random people who ask about his pre-police career.

-Gets paired up with Chie a lot and drives the car when this happens.

-Kotone sometimes makes food for him because he will blow up his kitchen if he tries to cook.

-Katsuya introduced him to Ulala and they are besties.

-The older brother of the group that gets involved in the hijinks.

-Misses his husband very much (the akimina tease is strong).

.

Chie: -She and Yukiko are failwife #1 and failwife #2 respectively.

-Katsuya probably got her the job and taught her stuff so she sees him like a dad.

-The reason why she doesn't drive the cop car is because she will crash into something if she tries.

-Unarmed and very dangerous.

-Did I mention she never skips leg day?

-Got a wolfcut because she wanted to try wavy hair and it stuck.

-The wild child of the little sitcom group, starts most of the episodes plots.

-Also met Ulala and really admires her and Maya.

-Yu probably wonders how she even got the job sometimes.

-Rise sometimes asks her to go to concerts as a bodyguard.

.

Naoto (I like genderfluid Naoto because I project I'm sorry</3) :

-The one character tired of everyone's shit.

-Kanji worries for her sanity sometimes, and ykw he's completely valid for worrying about his husband.

-Probably gets along with Katsuya the best, and they probably vent to each other about their jobs.

-A detective but works somewhat closely with everyone, she says she hates it but she loves everyone.

-Went to college for 8+ years and he has burnout.

-Will probably snap, fight, and win if provoked enough.

-Is the one character in the show with logic and reasoning to show how dumb the comedy is.

.

Misc stuff: -Sae and Makoto are the one characters that have 5 minutes of screentime every 3 episodes, but the sfx hype them up like they are gods among man.

-Dojima is the one guy always talked about in the background and shows up for a cameo but has no plot significance.

-Naoto gave Akechi some tips on being a successful detective because he seemed reasonable (oh how wrong he was...).

-Mitsuru tells Katsuya to stop Akihiko from doing anything stupid, yet when she shows up in episodes she ends up doing stupid shit with everyone.

-Adachi is still in jail and he gives Chie and Naoto the worst advice known to man when everything goes to shit.

.

Thats pretty much it, might draw some stuff for it but we'll see... until next time denizens of tumblr love yall <3

[sigmastolen]

listen the nostalgia of it all carried me a good long way and maybe i'm grumpy bc i'm sick but i gotta be honest with y'all, my final impression of x-men '97 is that it is utterly incoherent

granted, my familiarity with most of the storylines they're pulling from here is low -- synopses and recaps, if i know anything at all, and my comics readership has always been spotty at best -- but... do bastion's motivations and actions make any sense in the books? and frankly i think they did my boy mister sinister dirty...

but i think the pacing was where it suffered the most. idk, i feel like each individual episode started slow and unfocused, yet still rushed to wrap up storylines, where tas might have just sprawled all over some multiparters. but in the current make-or-break tv environment, '97 can't afford to take its time, it has to throw all the big spaghetti at the wall right away, and it scrambles to too-fast, too-pat resolutions -- but because it's controlled by the mouse now, it also has to resolve with feel-good moral messages in a way that frankly clashes with the intentionally complex tradition of x-men. the three-part finale was some of the worst, pastede on storytelling i've seen since the last time i watched a steven binder episode of ncis. it also was unclear to me how much of tas was canon and how much has been retconned and how much was just, like, establishing the vibes but ditching the storylines. (then again, confusion is just the standard state of affairs re: x-men canon.)

which is not to say that everything was terrible -- this show loves a heroic monologue, and most of those were actually quite powerful. the art style works. the voice cast (returning and new) works. lenore zann is a standout for me; she's so much more mature as a performer now (obvi) and she brings so much more depth to rogue than she could 30 years ago. making our heroes more powerful, as you know, made me positively giddy (although i will say that cyclops's primal yells inspired laughter rather than awe). if "tolerance is extinction" 1–3 were the worst episodes, i think "remember it" and "bright eyes" were the best -- strongest plots and tightest character beats. and truly, they did my faves so good: gambit was perfect, rogue (incoherent retconned backstory aside) was perfect, nightcrawler was perfect, jubilee was perfect. all the homoerotically-charged wolverine-and-morph everything was perfect. jean and storm's friendship was perfect. beast rejecting trish tilby in the ruins of genosha was perfect. jubilee and roberto visiting his mom, and her nutball wealthy privilege -- perfect.

the storm-and-forge stuff unfortunately fell flat for me, mostly bc the "lifedeath" episodes suffered from so many weird racist overtones. and of course all the convoluted summers clan stuff was also a miss, because the only summers i give two shits about is rachel -- but this version of jean grey (and madelyne pryor) was more compelling than most.

i don't know, maybe this is the same cynicism that has led to my current stubborn resistance to popular media, that chased me away from the mcu*, that has had me keep my distance from the glut of remakes and reboots, and that has basically stopped me from getting into any new shows for literally years. but it's hard for me not to see this as an empty cash grab, just marvel and disney playing on millennial nostalgia to capture streaming subscriptions and sell merch -- which, frankly, is all they have done with any of their properties for the last 4-5 years anyway. and i have never paid disney plus a red cent and i never will (yo ho), but it also just. doesn't feel good to watch. makes me tired. throws me out of my suspension of disbelief. being able to see the forces of capitalism nakedly at work in a piece of media really takes the enjoyment out of it for me, you know?

[roshield]

PERMANENT PLOTTER / RELATIONSHIP CALL

happy almost year to this game and this blog so i figured it's time to finally put up a permanent plotter up.

liking this post means you're a-okay with me sending memes on meme day or just hopping in your inbox for something random ( and vice versa! ). you're also cool with me jumping into dms to discuss plots and all, and also just throwing out random starters your way. you're also cool with me liking starter calls and replying to your minis without feeling like i'm being bothersome!

just a warning is most relationships discussed will prob be pre-established stuff if we haven't interacted before, mainly because i'm just a lil tired of writing new meetings!

below is kind of a list of relationship types i'm interested in!! not rly anything final ( fantasy ) but just kinda a general idea of what i might vibe with.

friends: pretty classic stuff, despite clive's overall demeanor he's a pretty friendly guy. he gets along with a lot of people with different backgrounds. he's not exactly the most fun person, but he's... trying? sort of? he just kind of doesn't know how to be a normal person after being dehumanized for so long. nevertheless he does make a good friend and being friends means he's willing to put his life on the line for you!! this can also include being sparring buddies with him bc he's usually training a lot to keep his skills sharp. but really he just needs people to hang out with and maybe they can teach him how to loosen up a little

enemies: he's learned to be mostly patient buuut he's got a short-fuse and can be hot-tempered at times. he just doesn't have a lot of time for bullshit and has no tolerance for it. anyone looking to harm innocent people tend to go on his shit list pretty fast, and anyone who wants to hurt his loved ones will have the worst time with him. he's ruthless :)

not really enemies but you've annoyed him: again, short-fuse sometimes and has little tolerance for bullshit. he won't have the want to kill you but expect sarcasm and the negative sims emote.

animal lovers: clive spent most of his time with his dog or his chocobo as a kid and has a better connection with them. he's the only one who can speak to moogles in his world. he's basically a disney princess. if u like animals then he'll get along with u and if u like torgal then he'll rly get along with u! please show him ur pets too he will pet every single dog ever.

knights / other duty bound folks: clive has an odd relationship with his status as first shield, mainly because he really only took the role on to protect his brother. still, he takes pride in it and puts his duty before a lot of things. it would be interesting for him to see what people see when they look at him, but also find some kinship with people like him!

religious themes: clive was unfortunately fated to be some corrupt god's vessel and he really hates it! he's not exactly a religious person at all and has an odd history and feelings with religion because of that. he's tolerant of course but it's easy to understand why he's not exactly a faithful man, so it would be interesting for him to bounce off of characters opposite of him!

big brother / father figure: clive's got big bro instincts so he's pretty protective over younger characters. he can be slightly awkward with them because a lot of the times they're very playful and he's just, not really, but he's definitely got that cool big bro / wisely father kind of vibe! he's got years of experience and could give sound advice. really he just wants to look after people.

wife guys: anyone else miss their wives / spouse. he misses his all the time even tho she's on speed dial.

other: something else??? just let me know :3

[reanimated-owl]

1, 2, 3, 21!

x

((under a read more bc holy shit does he ramble

Does the mun give out personal info? Like birthdate, first name, age, gender, etc?

"It depends on the type of information. She's more private than she used to be, but she doesn't mind sharing her age or birthday now that she's an adult."

"...The one exception is her name. She only started going by Glitchy a few years ago, but she hasn't told me why. Almost no one knows her actual name, unless you knew her before the change or know her offline."

2. Does the mun have any learning disabilities?

"I... think so? I'm not really sure what constitutes a 'learning disability' specifically. She's told me she has ADHD before, and I think once or twice she's mentioned possible dyscalculia. Which is... not the best combination, considering she's trying to get into medical school."

3. What irritates the mun?

"What doesn't irritate her?"

"Sarcasm aside... She's tired of shipping drama, or just... fandom drama in general. She really hates when people infantilize characters or make them excessively cutesy. Not just this community, either, from what I hear she's seen it in almost every piece of media she likes. But most of all, she just wishes people would stop taking things so seriously."

"She also really hates when people wear too much perfume in public spaces. It gives her an instant migraine. And people not using headphones or taking phone calls in places where it's not appropriate."

"...I should stop. If I keep going, we'll be here all day."

21. If the mun could move to a different country would they and why?

"She would jump at the opportunity. She says if she could pick, she would go to Canada or Norway. Her current country isn't very great in some aspects, mostly healthcare and living expenses, and she's not really optimistic about the future."

[original-character-championship]

Hi hiiiii, @arcadian-vampire here with art and info for Kalamari and Magnapinna Talismani!! 💖

[To the person organizing this tournament, please feel free to use either of these pictures for my ocs spot!]

Together, they look like this:

But this is how they see themselves!! Kalamari is purple, and Magnapinna is pink. They're a DID system 💕

Here's some info about them, to hopefully get people to love them as much as I love them!! :3 Putting it under a readmore link bc it's a little long, woopsie

Kalamari:

-Wandering Salesperson, takes their job very silly instead of very seriously. All her goods are definitely totally for sure legally acquired, don't worry about it!

-25 years old

-He/She/They/It pronouns, that he likes people to alternate Frequently. Would consider using neopronouns too, but hasn't decided on any yet

-Sexuality is 'whatever is fun!' and gender is 'just a goofy guy'

-Whimsical!! All about having fun and finding strange things

-Absurd optimist

-In an 'It's complicated' relationship with another oc of mine, Glass!

-Very good at smuggling things. It's awful at being sneaky, but she stands out so much that people pay more attention to him than whatever she might be holding. The kind of person that could confidently walk out of a store while carrying an entire television they just stole

-Never ever takes his mask off. No one knows what their face looks like. If asked about it, she gives a different answer every time, and it gets more ridiculous the more you ask. ('I'm bad at smiling, but I wanted people to know I'm happy', 'It's comfy', 'I just like having secrets', 'I'm legally unallowed to show my face', 'People can't handle looking at me and I got tired of it', 'Oh I don't actually have a face under here', 'Never piss off a wizard'.)

-Name refers to squid served as food (calamari)

-Calls Magnapinna 'Magna'

Magnapinna:

-Wandering Voice of Reason, constantly working to keep Kalamari safe and make sure she actually gets things done

-Also 25 years old

-She/They/It pronouns, doesn't care which one(s) people decide to use because she doesn't care for people talking about her at all

-Sexuality is 'no' and gender is 'absolutely not'

-Certified The Horrors (tm). Can be kind of mean, but she's just very serious and doesn't have time to deal with other people. Someone in this system has to be responsible!

-Resigned realist at best, irritated pessimist at worst

-Highly approves of Glass' positive influence on Kalamari, highly disapproves of directly interacting with her

-Secretly shy!

-Has her own mask, a pouty one like in the picture above, but often just wears Kalamari's, as she doesn't think anyone deserves to know when she's fronting. (Really, she's mostly just shy about people potentially getting to know her.)

-Name refers to a rare, creepy squid that looks like they 100% would eat a person, they're so scary to me. I love them so much

-Calls Kalamari 'Mari' sometimes, mostly when things have gone terribly, horribly, horrifically wrong and she's stressed about it

Thank you all for reading!!! I really look forward to this tournament, and seeing everyone's awesome characters! 💖

[a-tale-of-legends]

There's no doubt in my mind that the protags are often compared to the previous champion once they gain the title, regardless of who that champion was. But I do think that the Sinnoh and Galar ones have it the worst.

Cynthia is constantly treated as this major threat by the fandom. In game maybe less so, but I wouldn't be surprised if people thought of Cynthia as The Cynthia, you know. So here comes this kid, an 11 year old I must add, who just takes up Cynthia's title? Impossible, there must have been a fluke! Or better yet, Cynthia went easy on her, there's no way someone like Danica would become champion, right? I don't think in the early years of Danica's champion reign she ever really noticed these comments. They weren't exactly the majority and for the most part Danica was living her best life, battling others, training pokemon, gaining an interest in baking. But it's when she gets a little older she actually starts to hear these things said about her. About how she's an imposter. A mere shadow of what Cynthia was. I think that got her really depressed for a while, honestly. Which sucks bc this girl loves battling. Being champion was something she earned and loved, but that small majority just made it so hard. However, I do think that Danica was able to overcome this. At least until Kiran went missing, since at that point she stepped down as Champion. Mostly to focus on finding Kiran, but I wouldn't be surprised if the girl was just tired.

Galar is a while other story, since we can really easily get a sense of how people could react to a champion. Again, while I believe - for the most part - the general public was happy that Naomi was their champion, you can't tell me that the transition from " The Unbeatable Champion Leon!" to " Naomi" isn't jarring to the more die hard fans. Again, like Cynthia, I wouldn't be surprised if some people called Naomi's victory a fluke, that she cheated somehow and that she should be dethroned as champion. Unlike Cynthia n Danica, I think this small majority is waaaay louder than what Sinnoh has to offer. Tabloids talking about Naomi, "analyzing" her battle with Leon, people picking apart everything she does ( mind you, she is just 15. A 15 year old with anxiety mind you). Leon and the rest of the league honestly do a good job at blocking this noise out, making Naomi's reign as champion as smooth as it possibly can be, but shits tough. Especially for Naomi who's still building her confidence as time goes on. Again, she has a large support system that makes things easier, and eventually she's able to not give a damn....most times. But the first year or so was. Rough. It does not help that she's a Chosen and has to deal with Chosen Shit. ( Though, the wolves also pull in their weight in making sure Naomi is feeling as good as she can be. Fogging up cameras is a signature move of theirs~)

Last thing before I end this off is that the most scrutiny that Kenji has faced was when he proposed the splitting of the league. Which, I mean, fair, that's pretty big and it wasn't surprising to hear people not be a fan of that. But I also think, in smaller doses, Kenji does get compared to Red a lot. I mean. Kid from small town that turned out to be a pokemon battling prodigy and single handedly defeated team rocket? Not hard to compare the two. And at first, it was something that Kenji loved. Red was his hero after all. But then he met Red. And then, after that, he grew up and started to do his own thing, make his own path. The phase " Wow, your just like Red!" started to lose its warmth. He didn't take offense to it! Just that it wasn't like how he was as a kid. And then the phrase turned into " Why can't you be more like Red?", mostly in the fact that Kenji was a very extroverted, energetic kid, while Red is " cool calm and collected". The phrase doesn't come up often, in fact it was pretty rare, but when it does, it hurts. Kenji is already dealing with his own self doubt as is, wanting to live up to what he assumes everyone's expectations of him, as well as ( as mean as this sounds) to be what Red couldn't. So to hear " why can't you be like Red", fucking hurts. Blue can attest to this, it's not fun. It's no fault of Red of course. Kenji knows that Red is just as hurt by the pedestal he's been placed on as Kenji is the one being compared to him. But it hurts. It's like what he's already doing isn't enough. Like he isn't enough. Why can't he be enough?

And yeah, that's some oc angst for yah!

[vampirologist]

i obviously have to also ask you your hottest btvs/angel takes, bc i am very interested in knowing them

oh boy I really put my foot in my mouth sending you that ask huh haha keep in mind I’ve only been through one watch of each show!!! I got into buffy over the summer and watched angel in the last few months

biggest hot take. spike in seeing red. although like everyone involved regrets it I honestly don’t even think it’s out of character for him to assault buffy. he literally has this obsessive relationship with her where he has this shrine of her things, drawings of her, his buffy sexbot, fantasizes about fucking buffy, and stalks her/breaks into her house. then they do start a volatile sexual relationship that she is literally ashamed over and he gloats about. I really don’t think it’s out of character for a guy with these traits to force said woman into sex no matter how likable you think he is or his "character development." people are upset because it’s a sexual assault scene which is a very real and horrific type of thing to experience (as opposed to in the pack where xander gets all touchy with buffy but it's through a supernatural lens as he was possessed and had this literal animalistic urge), and one from a favorite character.

stemming from above I am so tired of the angel versus spike arguments and how people try to MORALIZE it. they are both bad lol just say you hate angel instead of doing this weird moral superiority thing with spike as if buffy and spike are not known as one of the most toxic fictional couples (which I am obviously not saying you cannot be into such things). I hate seeing people being like "angel is such a creep going after a teenage buffy while spike treats dawn as the kid she is!" like cool buffy and angel and dawn and spike are completely different dynamics because they mean differently to each other. angel is meant to be the older mysterious hot guy buffy falls in love with and I really do not think there's any way to "morally" portray a high schooler with a vampire love interest unless they are the same age, as in the vampire was recently turned. and dawn is buffy's sister of course spike is going to view her that way as buffy is the one he wants. you have to think of what they mean narratively and what the purpose of each character is in the show. also I have seen some people say spike respects buffy more than angel does as if spike doesn't demean buffy especially in regards to her sexuality as he knows that that is an easy way to irritate her and angel. like I literally saw a gifset by a buffy/spike blog that had parallels of angel having doubts about buffy whereas spike was giving compliments being like oh look at how crappy angel is to buffy like I could easily make the same thing about angel being supportive of buffy while spike was demeaning. I will say I do like spike and buffy's interactions on screen together but idk I have just become increasingly irritated on them as a couple but it's mostly because of takes online because I can understand the appeal of them. can you tell that I have the spuffy tag blocked. I have only been into buffy since the summer but I am Done. godspeed to people who have been fans and involved with the fandom for years.

I do not dislike xander as much as everyone else. I know he's very much a "nice guy" but I think it takes a lot for me to not like a character and I do find him likable. he's (initially) a teenage boy and acts like a messy teenage boy who pines after his friend he cannot get. I am also able to understand why he leaves anya at the altar even though it broke my heart- he's afraid they'll become like his parents. I feel that's a very real fear to have! I am also able to identify with him as I have been def been the funny or normie one of a friend group (I would say that now in one of my friend groups I am the "smart" one but like all my friends in middle/ high school were the smart kids lol so I was the shy one) and I struggle a lot with fearing I am not really good at anything like he does

okay for angel's show takes:

I love cordelia and angel’s friendship! I really do but to me (at least on a first watch) it feels like their romantic relationship really hinged on her being thee main female character of the show so they wanted to push a relationship between them. maybe this could change if I were to rewatch angel but I am not totally on board with them as a couple

honestly connor is A Lot but I don't dislike him. I can see why people don't like him and feel he's wishy washy as a character but damn has this kid been through it. I am a sucker for a troubled kid who hates his dad but is literally like his dad as a teen and even more fucked up. stemming off of this I felt like darla's pregnancy has pro-life undertones once they find out that it has a soul which I liked the plotline but I def cannot ignore that aspect of it.

okay god I am going to bring spike up AGAIN but I can definitely see why people think he regresses in character once he comes onto angel because he does, he acts a lot like earlier spike. however it's like. most of that change in character was sparked by buffy and she's not around- why would he act that way when the woman who influenced that isn't around? like people say him going to the strip club is out of character like? he's supposed to be the cool guy who likes earthly pleasures such as eating and fucking. why would he not partake in that just because he has made changes sparked by buffy? also I know he was brought onto the show to help viewership but I do enjoy him and the existential questions he has about being brought back. I also just like angel and spike bickering so I am a fan of him returning to angel after his buffy death because the in-universe reason is not even that bad. it could have been way worse lol

[birdsometimeswrites]

pt. 3, pink and spinel

so, let me go off a bit to tell you about what spinel's backstory would be (also a bit of pink's backstory)

these go in no particular order.

as always, please don't take my ideas <3

originally, pink was given the earth as a colony before she got a pearl. this is because she did something bad on an exoplanet: she tried to conserve some of its organic life bc she was intrigued. the diamonds punished her by getting her original pearl and ordering people to shatter her (because pink confided in her and loved her like a sister), but she, with the help of inside people who hated how the diamonds controlled, escaped. pink diamond's original pearl now is hiding in the outskirts of homeworld. pink, however, thinks they shattered her, which spawns a deep, deep hatred of the diamonds.

she doesn't get a new pearl until like a couple hundred years later, and during this time, to give pink something to do that doesn't intervene with their plans, the diamonds give pink spinel. they both don't really wanna be there, so this starts off an actual friendship. spinel existed before pink, and she was mostly used as a jester, which she grew tired of. pink confides all of her issues with spinel, who helps out somewhat by being optimistic, like how pink used to be before being punished by the diamonds, and being realistic as well, and talking about plans to overthrow the diamonds, plans that pink knew would probably never be useful (they will) but still appreciates. spinel begins to follow pink around like a pearl, but is never caught by the diamonds, so she gets inside information and tells pink, as well as the stuff she can't hear. overall, they both stay bubbly and optimistic, but brave, like steven (kinda).

spiel is ecstatic when pink finally gets a colony, and urges her to sneak out of the garden to go see it. a few days later (before she was given pearl) they both sneak out out, just for a day, to see what earth is like. pink sees earth life is completely dependent on organic life, using stuff not on homeworld and made of organic material, and treating each other equally. she tries to approach the humans, but they treat her weirdly because, well, she's giant and is pink. they eventually warm up to her and teach them both stuff on earth, like hunting, plants, agriculture, animals, status, riches, and stuff like that. this is around the middle ages, so about 500 or so years ago. pink grows to hate homeworld life more and more.

pink was not given a new pearl until right after she was given a colony. she was given orders to eradicate human life and to start to grow gem life on the earth. pearl was kind of supposed to oppress the idea of maintaining organic life, but she obviously didn't.

when she receives pearl, she remembers being treated equally on earth and remembers the awful treatment other pearls got from the diamonds, so she sets her free and decides to show her home on earth. she asks if pearl wants to live here, and pearl says yes.

the diamonds caught her sneaking out of the palace??? i think that's what it is?? anyway, they caught her and put her under the watch of some higher-ups, but she poofs them ("sorry!") and overhears them talking about destroying the garden, along with spinel. petrified, she rushes to the garden to give spinel some warning, and she succeeds to tell her somewhat with a jumble of words with spinel comprehends.

pink grabs her arm and attempts to drag her onto the warp pad to escape, but white diamond appears all mother gospel and drags pink onto the warp pad. white, enraged, sets off something to like destroy the garden (or so she thinks!!!!!!!!!!!1) and throws spinel away from pink, and spinel lunges to grab onto pink because she's afraid to be shattered by whatever white threw that would destroy the garden.

the last thing pink sees is spinel's face, contorted with rage and fear as she tries to grab onto pink, but white poofs her dismissively, and her gem lands somewhere white can't see.

spinel's gem lands on the one place the blow-up thingie hasn't destroyed (it's a kid's show, give me a break) and she regenerates like a week later in rebel clothes because she wants to kill the diamonds or something like that. she realizes, "oh god, the garden is almost completely destroyed, i'm laying down on like the one place the blow-up thingie has not destroyed." in this realization, she realizes she will probably never see pink again because the warp pad seems unusable. she wanders around the small space that wasn't destroyed, the grass scorched and the warp pad cracked. she spends her time yearning to avenge the diamonds growing more and more frustrated, as well as reliving the moments she had with pink, reliving her laugh, smile, and their plans, especially her plans, for the next 500 years.

(LET ME JUST POINT OUT NOW, M A J O R TIME SHIFTS IN WHAT I AM RAMBLING ABOUT)

[altairs-rambles]

I feel like everyone should have their ocs heard at least once SO DO TELL MORE I haven’t interacted with u that much but I may reveal who I am hehehe

∑(ﾟﾛﾟ〃) someone wants to hear about my OCs? Really?

I have many OCs (kinda) (not really)! I'll only talk about Enstars first bc much to say about each of them so this is gonna be a loooong ramble already!! I apologize in advance for my possibly incoherent essay(s)

First up, Kiyoko!

She used to be a Yuguysona back when I was in the NijiEN rabbithole, but bc I was too attached to her design to toss/scrap him, I brought him into the Enstars Universe! Kiyoko was meant to stay as like- my self insert/persona in Enstars? But they eventually kinda deviated from that and became her own character!

Uhhh as you can see I've been running around she/he/they for Kiyoko, and that's because he's gender fluid! Why? Because I am a mess about my own gender and creating/tweaking Kiyoko was a way for me to explore that area. Now they're my gender goals + I am very down bad for her ✨

Just like my other soon-to-be-rambled-about OCs, this blueberry is a very tragic little creature - she has one or two problems from my life mixed in with the hundreds of problems from the Ensemble Stars Universe. Relatively nice family, once bullied, has a friend in a coma, swings between being compliant to being stubborn, overthinks and overworks, is a very tired child... Yeah! The usual~ A third year student in Yumenosaki, who sneaked in as a male in the first year with the help of some teachers, but now others knowing she's afab doesn't get him kicked out either so 👏👏👏 went solo for a while before the mess in the war, so they picked up a teammate/friend by being weirdly philosophical and whimsical on the roof of the school 👍! Kiyoko is very passionate about the idea of freedom thanks to The War in Enstars aksnksnskd

What's ironic about him is that she's the leader of a unit whose theme is "freedom", yet mentally she's as free as a dove in an undersized cage. Kiyoko keeps going on and on about how people need the freedom to choose (as long as it doesn't harm others) and yet never gives himself that freedom due to fear of making another mistake that would snowball into a devastating consequence (see: friend in coma).

Anyway! We have very similar fashion sense/styles, which is over-the-top-accessorizing! I have no explanation for this other than: I really like earrings and chains and chokers and rings and boots and shiny silver bits and looking good in general! We both really like singing too, just that I have stage fright despite performing on stage for 10years (school). Aaaaand we're both sleepy babies we can and will curl up anywhere on the grass floor cement ground and sleep 😴

All these lead to funny little scenarios between her and other characters, mostly when they randomly trip over him/catch her knocked out in the middle of hallways (all these scenarios happened in my head).

Um. I think that's it for him sorry it's so long for the first one orz

Oh one more thing! I suffer from being a Kiyoko fan bc I'm the only source of art for them but I have little to no motivation to draw 😭

Aaaaand that's a wrap! Next one, Ai!

(apparently her file isn't on my phone so I only have her picrew + pencil drawing)

Sunshine of Kiyoko's unit, Wing5! Formerly a solo idol who failed after debut, she was scouted out by New Di/Kiyoko/Tsumugi to be part of Wing5. She's a strong vocalist, often pairing with Kiyoko to take on the melody of their songs, hence the ship name "Songbirds" (That ship is like fan speculation? It's not entirely canon unless I want it to be)

In terms of appearance, Ai and I look the most similar thanks to our front bangs ✨ Her hair is all purple, she just dyed her side bangs to match her eyes! Also since every OC has a piece of their creator's soul, she has my extroverted side! She's a bumbling 20 year old or so - think "wine aunt" vibes!

Ai's actually very insecure though, due to her failure as a solo idol. She may be cheeky, but she's very sensitive to others' emotions and tries her best not to push them to the limit in case they decide to abandon her because of whatever antics she's up to, or because she's not good enough. Imposter syndrome too, maybe?

I think she needs to be babied more she's always taking care of others... Mom of Wing5™️ old

Next! Uhhhh what was her name... Yurika!!

Resident tryhard emo and chronically online child, her strength lies more in marketing, video editing etc. more than performing onstage! Despite being paired with Akari (who will be rambled about next) due to her dance, Yurika is more widely recognized as Wing5's rapper.

She's the shortest in Wing5! ++ An albino, which is why all Wing5 performances are usually done indoors/at night outdoors to prevent aggravating her condition (I opened so many tabs for this but I've forgotten so much I'm sorry if anything isn't accurate). Her left eye is also affected by... Something which the name I can't remember- it affects albinos and causes their vision to be blurry, even with glasses. Yurika just needs glasses in general bc she has been sitting in front of the PC for so long sknskdnd

Our similarities... Being online like 24/7? She has a worse sleep schedule than me though bwahahaa ✨ We both also melt. Like. Absolutely melt into nothingness whenever we're presented with affection. (At least I think I would...?)

Her ship with Akari is. Canon. I will not hear arguments I created them!! 🙉 They've been traveling/living together for a few years before Wing5, when Yurika was 15 and Akari was 18, bc their families are close friends and Yurika's family decided it was time to kick her out of her dark gloomy room to see the world with Akari, who was going around Japan to look for jobs as a dancer! When Akari landed a job, they had to continue travelling to follow the idol around on his/her concerts as a backup dancer, and Yurika stuck with Akari throughout the years until they landed in Wing5~ it's like the "omg they were roommates" situation! She's very prickly with everyone else aside from Akari, especially Kiyoko bc they have severely clashing opinions from time to time lmao

Bonus: She uses her name as a pun for "Eureka" so it sounds like "this is an Eureka moment!" but it practically means 'this is Yurika's moment!'

I never thought I'd say so much about Yurika but I will speak more about her in the next ramble about her wife girlfriend, Akari!

Heads up, Akari's transfem! She transitioned before + during her travels with Yurika, but doesn't feel completely female? An imbalanced in-between, like a tomboyish girl! And that's why she's the tallest in Wing5, bc hormones- By male standards, she's softer and more feminine, but by female standards she's a little too masculine. Gender who?

Tragically, she doesn't have a family other than her little brother (to be rambled about next), whom she is very protective about. She was taken care of by Yurika's family until 15 when she moved to school dorms while her brother remained with Yurika's family, then after graduation she came back to bring Yurika around Japan at her family's request.

They do return Yurika's feelings towards them, though Akari needed time to sort her own emotions out after Yurika's confession because they had never really thought of having a partner? Akari just felt comfortable and safe and at home with Yurika, that's all. So yeah they were disaster gays at some point before officially starting their relationship as lovers!

Akari is really hostile towards Kiyoko, though she displays it mostly in a passive-aggressive way. Why? Bc they blame Kiyoko for what happened to her little brother 😔 Will be explained soon!

Akari's name used to be Akira! This is a coincidence that it happens to be the Enstars story writer's name, I didn't know until a while after creating Akari 😅

Next, Hikari!

<tbc sorry i gotta go celebrate CNY TwT> I will be back soon~

[cassiebones]

Alma Madrigal is such an interesting, well-rounded character. And (if my friends who grew up in predominantly Latine households are correct, which I'm sure they are) very accurate to what a Latine Grandparent is like. I am half-Mexican and my Abuela is my last grandparent but she lives in Mexico so I rarely saw her. I cannot really say how she is (other than damn healthy for a 90yo mother of 13) but my cousins have stories about her that make me think she is pretty similar.

First of all, Abuela Madrigal is hard-working. We know that. She does everything she can to keep things running smoothly in her town. I can only imagine how stressed she was the first five years in her village, a single mom to triplets and pretty much the Mayor of that small town she helped settle. Casita can only help so much. They had to build everything from the ground up and Casita seems to have limits in their power, so the townspeople probably had to use their own hands to gather supplies and put it to use. They did a pretty good job.

Then her kids are given Gifts. Now, she has a daughter who can heal with her food (super helpful to keep the community going), one who can control the weather with her emotions (tricky, but still pretty helpful during times of drought to keep their crops thriving), and a son who can see the future (this can help them prepare for any oncoming threats to the Encanto). All of her children seem to have useful powers, so she nurtures them (teaches Julieta recipes, helps Pepa manage her emotions, and helps Bruno sort through his visions to figure out what they mean) and they start using them to help the village.

It doesn't take long for the village people to start behaving like they're OWED these powers.

Julieta gets it the hardest. She cooks at pretty much all hours just in case somebody is hurt or ill. At first, people come to her with their most serious illnesses and injuries, but eventually it turns to people coming to her with colds and splinters and knocking at the Casita Door well into the night for remedies.

By age 11, she will not take it anymore. She refuses to cook for a full week, stays in her room (which has a small kitchen for her to practice in) and only makes any food for her siblings if they get hurt, but nothing for Alma or the village people bc she is TIRED.

Eventually, Alma realizes that Julieta is correct and makes a deal with her: she only has to make one meal for healing each day. And only those with serious maladies can have some food. No more colds or splinters, unless it's dire. Alma will cook breakfast for the family and they'll help with dinner. And she gets one day off per week where nobody can ask her for any food at all.

Julieta likes this deal and it starts her easier work/life balance, at least until the family begins to grow and she starts being asked to cook a little more to accommodate the growing village (she still gets her day off).

Pepa's emotions are harder to handle, because emotions aren't always logical or easily controlled. When she has tantrums as a little girl, there's not much Alma can do except hold on to her daughter. They come up with calming phrases ("clear skies") to try to help. They work sometimes, but Pepa is an emotional person and she's somewhat quick to anger or upset.

It doesn't help with her mother nitpicks her and Pepa grows some resentment for that and starts to talk back when her mother says "you have a cloud!" Like yeah, no shit, Alma.

On their 15th birthday, Alma gives Pepa the earrings, Julieta her blue apron, and Bruno his green ruana, with the hourglasses on them.

Bruno has the worst deal of all. His room looks to be set up for people to come and hear their fortunes, to line up all the way down that giant staircase, which he has to climb every single day just to get to his bed (which we never see) and it seems to be mostly for everybody else's benefit.

People ask him questions about their relationships and loved ones and their goldfish, and sometimes he doesn't have good predictions. Sometimes the future is not happy. These are the times they'll blame him for their foreshadowed misfortunes, even though it's not his fault at all. He didn't kill anybody's goldfish!

It wears on him as the years go by. People continue to come see him and yet will still talk bad about him in the streets. He hears all the whispers as he walks past.

One day, he locks his bedroom door so not even his sisters can get inside. They sit by his door and talk to him through it, making sure he knows that nothing is his fault, that his visions were not decided by him and that some people just don't understand, but they do. They understand that. It comforts him enough to come out, but he tells his mother that he will not be taking vision requests anymore for trivial things like goldfish or hair. If there's a pressing issue, he'll tell her what the future holds and she can tell the townspeople.

Alma reluctantly agrees to this. The townspeople continue to blame Bruno when bad things happen.

Eventually Julieta finds Agustin, who never asks her for healing food (even though he desperately needs it) and always insists that she eat before him because she is the one who worked so hard on that food. She falls in love with him easily.

Pepa and Félix are old friends and fall more slowly in love, but just as deeply. He's the only one who can truly calm her all the way down and she loves him for it.

Pepa gets married first, but Julieta gets pregnant first. Alma has no idea if these children will also get gifts, so she just focuses on loving on her nietas when they're born. Since Isabela looks more like her, she tends to favor her over Dolores, but she doesn't love either more or less.

Bruno never married. Mainly because nobody in the village wants to marry the 'jinx'. They're all assholes, Bruno; you don't need them.

Anyway, Isa turns five and a door appears for the first time in 28 years. The door knob has her initial and Abuela knows what this means. She doesn't have time to plan a celebration but she makes Isa wait until she can gather a bunch of townspeople to come watch the ceremony.

When Isa touches her door, flowers bloom all around her to the delight of everybody around her. Alma, especially.

Dolores's gift ceremony is 2 months later and her hearing comes on like a rush of water in her ears. It's painful and she puts her hands over her ears to stop it, but eventually the pain goes away and she tells everybody what she can do.

And on it goes. Luisa gets her super strength 3 years later (Abuela sees so much use in this gift and Luisa immediately starts working) and then Camilo turns into Alma the second he touches his doorknob 4 years later, because she's the one he wants to impress with his gift.

When it's Mirabel's turn, Alma tells her about the magic. She is the youngest Madrigal and probably the last of her generation so it has to be good.

But the door disappears as soon as she touches it and Alma begins to panic when the candle flickers in her hands. She sees that same panic in Mirabel's eyes, in everybody's eyes as she turns to the crowd, who are murmuring amongst themselves.

What's her power? Where did the door go? What's happening?

The gift may be fading. Something may be wrong with the miracle.

Or there's something wrong with Mirabel.

She tries not to blame her youngest granddaughter, she really does, but every day is a reminder that she has no gift. The Casita didn't give her a gift. Why? What is happening? Is that why Bruno left?

She starts putting pressure on Pepa for another grandchild. She needs to know that this miracle is still working. But Pepa is 40 and it takes her 5 years to conceive Antonio.

Throughout her pregnancy, Julieta keeps her fed to make sure nothing goes wrong. Antonio is born perfectly healthy, but Alma still worries if he'll get a Gift.

When he does, Alma makes up her mind: there is nothing wrong with the miracle. There is only something wrong with Mirabel.

For years, she has pulled back from her youngest granddaughter for this reason. Because if Casita didn't find her worthy of a gift, there's something obviously wrong with her.

This is obvious when she says "Think of the family!" after the failed proposal. Obviously, she is not (at least at this moment) seeing Mirabel as family. Because Mirabel has no Gift. She's the odd one out. There's something wrong with her.

I don't believe that Alma does this maliciously, though. In the very beginning of the movie, her part of The Family Madrigal says "We pledge to always help those around us, to EARN the miracle that somehow found us."

She doesn't think she deserves this miracle. She thinks that she needs to still learn it, every day, fifty years later. She doesn't believe that she is worthy of this gift, alone. She has to earn it by using her kids and grandkids' gifts to help out those around her. This miracle is literally her life's work. Everything centers on it.

Alma Madrigal puts so much focus on this gift that she doesn't realize that she's the one hurting her family. She thinks that if the miracle is going out, she should focus on the one who doesn't have powers as the cause, not even realizing that SHE also doesn't have any powers.

All Mirabel does is try to help but because Alma can't see past the failed gift ceremony, she just sees her getting in the way. When Alma gets mad or frustrated at Mirabel, the cracks begin to show and she just thinks it's Mirabel's fault because that's who she's angry at and so it makes sense in her brain.

When Mirabel finally tells her the truth, that it's Abuela causing the breaks in the miracle, she finally sees it. She finally sees everything that's been happening all around her. It all makes so much sense. It's all her fault.

Then Mira runs away and you bet your ass Julieta goes OFF on her mother. Julieta has noticed the way her mother treats her youngest daughter for years and I can just see her screaming at Alma with Agustin holding her back and Pepa in the background like "Yup! Tell her!" the whole time.

Finally, the search for Mirabel begins and Alma sees that the mountains have parted since the magic is no longer protecting them from the outside world. She finds Mirabel and tells her the true story rather than the watered down version she's been telling all these years.

It's probably the first time she's described what happened in all the gritty details. Because we have to remember that despite inflicting emotional trauma on her entire family, she experienced serious trauma herself. Señora watched her husband get killed WITH MACHETES, while she held her 3 infants, thinking they were next. She did not expect a miracle (which, btw, was totally Pedro's spirit, fight me) to come and save them all. She just watched her husband die and waited for what she thought was inevitable.

That's trauma. It does not excuse ANY OF THE SHIT SHE PUT HER FAMILY THROUGH THOUGH, ALMA.

Ahem.

Anyway, Alma finally apologizes. She gets her son back and returns to her family. She has so much more to apologize for than what we saw in the movie (DISNEY), and they'll need a good therapist. Because not all is solved instantly like this. They need to work through their trauma, individually and as a family.

Stay tuned for my new series on La Familia Madrigal: Adventures in Therapy.

[silverynight]

alright. Tanjiro comes back from a solo mission. He is very quiet. He looks haunted. When the hashira come to check on him as always, he smiles and reassures them and tell them he’s fine, and he’s not hurt, not really. He’s got bruises on his knees and a small scrape on his chin but that’s not so weird nor worrisome—shinobu insists on cleaning the scrape anyway, though, because he’s been awfully quiet, and when he thinks no one is watching he looks so incredibly sad. And not just in the normal way he’s sad—everyone knows that Tanjiro has a gentle heart and the pain he’s suffered in the last few years grates on it terribly and he’s not exactly happy, even if he’s so grateful for everything he has left—but in a distant, hurt sort of way. Something happened on his last mission, but he won’t tell anyone—when they ask, he gives a bare bones explanation that he found the demon, killed the demon after a bit of a fight, and came back. Nezuko was with him, though, and that proves to be the key. She has the muzzle and can’t really communicate well, but one of the nights when the hashira have finally allowed tanjiro to retreat to his room to rest for the night—the hashira, upon seeing him, begged ubayashiki to give him a break bc of how worried they were, and he allowed this bc he loves his children and worries for them and hates the pain he has to let them suffer—and the hashira are out in the courtyard of butterfly mansion talking, arguing about what to do, what could have happened. And nezuko waddles out and tugs on Giyu’s haori and he’s like. “Um. yes?” and somehow, through a series of charades and grunts and head shakes as the hashira guess, they get a vague picture of what happened: tanjiro fell victim to the demon’s blood art. And with a little more questioning, they begin to understand that the blood art allowed the demon to take the form of different people—specifically, the hashira and his friends. It wasn’t so bad with his family and nezuko, bc his family was dead and he knew that, and nezuko was by his side through it all. But the others? The hashira? He wants so badly to believe that they would never do anything to hurt him, never turn their backs on him—but he thinks to the first time they all met and they were all so willing to kill him and his sister and. Gods. He doesn’t deserve their kindness in the first place. He never has. He’s weak, he let his family get killed and his sister turn into a monster, and—sure, they treat him kindly, but they just haven’t figured out what a curse he is yet. He brings destruction wherever he goes. Everyone close to him gets hurt—that’s why he has the black nichirin blade, isn’t it? Bc he’s nothing but a source of sorrow. And the demon told him this in all the hashiras’ forms, in zenitsu’s form (though his rant was mostly talking about how nezuko deserved better than tanjiro) and in inosuke’s (who talked about how he acted so high and mighty, like he knew what was best—but the blood on his hands begged to differ. Inosuke has never failed anyone; could tanjiro say the same?) and. Oh gosh. Tanjiro is crying himself to sleep every night and he’s so tired and he needs help but he can’t bear to go find any, not when he can hear Kyojuro declaring that he doesn’t deserve understanding or mercy, when he can see uzui’s grin at the thought of causing him pain, sanemi and shinobu and Giyu and all of them—and tanjiro hurts bc he knows it’s not them, but it IS. the demon didn’t lie. He took the words that they have said before, the feelings they expressed, the thoughts tanjiro himself has feared, and twisted them into weapons. Tanjiro is falling apart. He’s so alone. And. Idk where I’m going with this tbh. But bestie I just love ur writing and I want the hashira and tanjiro to live happily ever after. Someone baby my sunshine boy

Listen, the Pillars would do anything, anything to make sure Tanjirou knows he's precious and deserves the world. It doesn't matter if they have to go all the way from their residences, it doesn't matter if they have to take turns so at least one hashira is with him at all times, it doesn't matter if they have to tell him once, twice or a million times or if what Tanjirou needs is physical affection; they would do it in a heartbeat, without hesitation... because they just want him to be happy.

Tanjirou would be fine, he would realize he's beloved, perhaps it'd take time, but he'd get there because he has many people that love him with all their hearts.