#became the biggest event of tumblr haha

[rowenwolf]

Literally every trending tag right now is in association with the Queen dying. Even the Mob Psycho one which I think is the weirdest connection 😂😂

[ask-the-bone-boys]

ATBB's Future

Hiiii y'all, its uh. been a minute huh

Now that it's been a bit over a year since I put this blog on hiatus, a loootta stuff has happened and changed and i've been doing a loootttta thinking!

Looking back on it, like really really looking, my biggest reason for the hiatus was that at some point the blog just kinda became more of a chore than something I wanted to work on for fun. Ask blogs are a lot of work, even when you're just using talking portraits rather than drawing out every individual answer, and with how much ask culture on tumblr has died out over the years there just wasn't really enough payoff to make it feel worthwhile to keep burning myself out.

I think it's a really good thing I stopped it when I did, because having to deal with all that in my senior year of high school would have been a nightmare. I've actually just finished up my first semester of college now, and there's no way in hell I would've been able to keep up at any rate! With all of this in mind, I've gained a newer perspective about how to approach things going forward.

I'm still really attached to this story. With how much time I've spent thinking about it and developing it in my head, I can't let it go, even if the blog isn't really working out anymore. I keep thinking of different ways I could fix the decisions I made early on, as well as the super cool directions I could take it in in the future, and I just. I GOTTA.

So, I've decided to reboot it entirely as a fic series!

This means that, unfortunately, there won't be nearly as much artwork to accompany it, but it's far more likely for the story to actually progress! Writing is way less draining for me and once I get going I can do it much quicker than art anyway, even though I do still sorta wish I had the spoons to just turn it into a full-blown webcomic instead haha

This DOES mean that updates won't be nearly as linear as they were here, seeing as right now I've mostly been working on backstory fics that took place before the blog's main story, but that can at least give you guys more context for how the characters interact with each other! I'll also state that while I do write faster than I draw, I still do it a hell of a lot less, so updates will still probably be pretty infrequent. But at least they'll happen at all, right?

As for the state of this blog itself, obviously I'm going to leave it up! I still love looking back on the old interactions you guys had with my characters and your reactions to certain plot points (your reactions to Fluff tagging along with the rest of the group were my favorite by far) and I think it would actually kill me to erase them. I'll be posting the fic updates here too, just like I did for Self Hatred!

And even if it's not going to be an ask blog anymore, because of how much I still miss that kind of interaction with you guys, I think I want to do a sort of "last hurrah" event, to finally send off the asking format with some good vibes.

You see, there's a character I made up around this time of year two years ago. He's a pretty cool guy, but he doesn't actually show up until a specific turning point later in the story. I've been excited for you guys to talk to him since the day I made him, but a little bummed lately that you may not ever get the chance. I still need to get a lot of stuff prepared, so I'm not quite ready to announce or start anything just yet, but there's a reason I waited until my winter break to start thinking about this seriously.

I think you guys would really like to meet him.

But anyway, that's about all I wanted to say for now! This is a very long post already so it's time I start wrapping it up. As always, thank you all so much for sticking with me, even though I really haven't been consistent through the years. I hope this change doesn't come as too much of a disappointment, and that you'll keep sticking around for the reboot!

[blackhairedjjun]

flowers of every color | writer's behind the scenes!

some stuff about my writing process for the fic! be warned that if you haven't caught up yet, there are spoilers

tagging people who liked and/or replied my interest check post: @agustdiv1ne @mazeinthemoon @txtistheloml @kyaneosprincess @teletubbiesssss @banggyu0308

these are pretty long so i'm putting them behind a read-more hehe

story planning:

while we've gotten plenty of yeonjun in prince outfits over the years, the main inspiration for this fic is yeonjun's opening outfit in act: sweet mirage! i saw that and was like "oh man he would be SO DASHING as a prince 😍" and just went from there

if you've been here from the start, you might know that i didn't originally plan make a series! i just word-vomited the first chapter (well, what became the first chapter) directly into tumblr's post editor because the thought of prince!yeonjun wouldn't leave me alone, especially after seeing a few other prince/commoner and prince/servant fics floating around lol. chapter 1 is also the only chapter made using tumblr's legacy editor rather than their new one (which is also why the cover pics are one big edited photo and not 3 separate photos, i couldn't figure out how to get 3 photos to line up in the legacy editor).

i honestly did not expect people to read chapter 1 but they did!! and they liked the idea!! plus even after writing chapter 1 i STILL couldn't get the idea out of my head so i decided to write it as a full story. i've written plenty of oneshots before under my (non-kpop) ao3 account, but this is my first multichapter series! so i opened google docs and made a quick outline of the story's main events.

the original outline for foec had 6 chapters + 2 endings, but as i wrote the story, i realized that more detail and scenes were needed than what i initially outlined! chapters 3 and 4 (ball preparations + the ball / gazebo dance scene) were supposed to be one chapter. chapters 5 and 6 (y/n hanging out with the chois + getting caught + punishment + intro of arranged marriage) were also supposed to be one chapter. chapters 7-9 (end of friendship, reconciling with soogyu, y/n & beomgyu talk) were also supposed to be one chapter!

i actually started writing the bad ending first before the good ending -- my reasoning was that if i were the reader, i would want to save the good ending for last so that i could end the series on a positive note. i was very surprised when people voted for the good ending first in the poll LMAO also as far as i'm concerned, both endings are canon in a "branching timeline" kind of way. they are both the real ending! i do have a soft spot for the good ending but also i love angst too much to not write a bad ending haha.

honestly most of the story beats from my original outline made it into the final fic! the biggest change has to do with queen hwayoung's and princess ajin's roles in the story (more on that below).

character notes:

when i was first brainstorming i really wanted to include both taehyun and hueningkai in the story as well, but i struggle with writing ensemble casts and choi line + y/n (+ the supporting characters in the castle) were already enough for me to handle. soobin and beomgyu were the easiest for me to incorporate into the story since they have the same last name and i could go "oh in this universe they're part of the same royal house hence the same last name" HAHA. i do imagine that the house of choi princes are also friends with tyunning (kai does get alluded to in chapter 9), but they're off doing their own adventures.

some of little moments in the fic were inspired by actual things txt have done in variety shows! yeonjun, y/n, soobin, and beomgyu playing cards in chapter 5 is based off to do ep. 53 where they also play cards. soogyu playing badminton in chapter 8 is inspired by gbgb era idol human theater where they played a little badminton by the pool. and there are a lot more small character quirks that are inspired by gifs or fancams i've seen of them haha.

queen hwayoung and princess ajin were originally not supposed to be part of the story! my original idea was the have the arranged marriage subplot be heard secondhand by through advisers so that it feels like an invisible force pulling yeonjun away from y/n. but i needed to make the threat of the arranged marriage stronger and ended up writing the scene with queen hwayoung in it for chapter 6.

princess ajin especially was a late addition -- originally she was never supposed to appear at all, never visiting the castle and only speaking through her mom / royal advisors, so there was that threat of yeonjun being married off to someone he's never even met. but after looking through the feedback of chapter 6 i realized that i kinda-sorta accidentally made setup for her oops. people were wondering what she'd be like, and it would feel too anticlimactic to never have her appear in the story, so i wrote her in. which i don't regret because i did enjoy writing her big scene in chapter 10!

speaking of which: a friend of mine asked what happens to princess ajin, and honestly i wanted to give her proper closure too! but i couldn't find a way to fit it into the story in a way that felt natural. if you ask me though, she gains some level of political independence from her mom (represented by her visiting the castle in the good ending). she still marries for political reasons, to a prince or nobleman who is also in it for the politics, and at first they treat their marriage as a business partnership. eventually they grow close and form a devoted "i'd do anything for you" bond -- not necessarily romantic in nature, but caring in its own way. (i'm describing a queerplatonic relationship basically)

tbh i don't have the energy to write another multichapter right now, but i would love to see spinoff fics for soobin and beomgyu or even taehyun and kai as princes in their own kingdoms! so if you're reading this and you want to do it, you have my blessing <3

flower notes:

while some chapter titles were planned around a specific flower representing the events & progression of the story, others were not (because of the chapter splits i talked about earlier) and i just chose whatever flower was in it lol. the planned chapter title flowers are: yellow roses (ch2), pink roses (ch4), sunflowers (ch5), striped carnations (ch7) , purple hyacinths (ch9), red roses (ch10), daffodils (GE), and white lilies (BE). the unplanned title flowers are: irises (ch1), lilies of the valley (ch3), red and purple zinnias (ch6), sweet peas (ch8).

i mostly used this website as a reference for the language of flowers, BUT i also double check with one or two other websites to make sure i'm getting an established flower meaning and not something made up! when i started fic planning i made a list of flowers with meanings that fit the main story beats and character progressions, then picked the ones with the most established meanings (i.e. supported by multiple "language of flowers" websites) and/or the ones that were appropriate for the growing season.

even though i wrote a disclaimer not to pay attention to botanical accuracy re: seasonal flowering times, i originally envisioned the fic to take place over the spring. then when it got longer, i imagined it taking place over spring and summer, so i tried (keyword: tried) to choose seasonally appropriate flowers or flowers that bloom year-round. this is hard for me because i live in a tropical country. i have never seen a lot of these flowers in person because they don't grow in the climate here, and i have no idea what a four-season year feels like. so i decided not to put time-of-year markers in the fic and leave the season ambiguous, and added that disclaimer about the flowers' accuracy.

an example of this: chapter 9 is named after purple hyacinths. i first decided on this back when the story was only supposed to take place during the spring, since hyacinths are a spring flower. i considered naming it after hydrangeas because they mean something like "thank you for understanding" (i.e. y/n going "thank you for understanding what a hard position i'm in" to yeonjun), and also because they're one of my favorite flowers. but i wasn't sure about their seasonal appropriateness since some sources said that they bloom during early summer so i changed it to hyacinths. BUT THEN the fic got long and i started imagining that the later chapters take place in the summer SO the hyacinths ended up being seasonally inappropriate after all! and hydrangeas would have been more appropriate! especially since txt literally has a song called hydrangea love out aarghhh noooo but anyway it is what it is

other flowers that didn't make the cut + their meanings: sweet william (gallantry), alstroemeria (friendship or devotion), freesia (friendship, thoughtfulness), white tulips (forgiveness, consideration, respect), thyme (courage, strength)

other notes:

the key lime pie in chapter 6 is based on a real pie that i ate at my friend's house when i visited her there and i thought it was the most delicious thing i have ever eaten. in the original draft it was a lemon tart!

i wanted to keep this series strictly sfw, but i did consider making both the good and bad endings have suggestive, fade-to-black scenes. for the good ending, the suggestive part would have involved y/n in yeonjun's room the night after their speech / before waking up together. for the bad ending, it would have happened when yeonjun visits y/n's quarters. i didn't write them bc i... am not good with anything suggestive or nsfw klsadjfklasjd

I COMPLETELY FORGOT BUT Y/N'S FATHER WAS ALSO IN THE AUDIENCE FOR THEIR SPEECH IN THE GOOD ENDING... i have no excuse for not writing him in other than I Forgot. i am so sorry but please imagine he was there

--

that's all i can think of for now! if you have other questions about foec or my writing process please please feel free to reply to this post or send an ask <3

[toddstool]

Hello

I started looking into radical feminism a little over a year ago while I was rebuilding and repairing the damage to my life caused by men. It gave me a sense of belonging and made me think critically about a lot of things I had always taken for granted. I especially enjoyed how everyone seemed to encourage one another to question everything consistently. It was very good for my outlook and mental health.

Over time, the posts seemed to shift from educational to sensational. Im not saying this was the fault of the posters, I’m just saying what I experienced. It went from primarily discussing nuanced topics with no real answer which i thoroughly enjoyed since it encouraged thought, to primarily posts highlighting the depravity of men. I tried to filter these out as the thought of women being brutalized can cause me distress and panic.

The biggest shift, however, happened when I expressed my opinion on female separatism. I am quite pro and strongly believe that it is one of the best things you can do for yourself and your female loved ones. I did not understand in the slightest how women who claimed to be radical feminists could marry a man while continuing to hold their beliefs and values. I expressed this. I was blocked by a few mutuals and even more radfems I had never even spoken to. I knew upon making a “radblr” account that I would be blocked by half of tumblr but I didnt think it would be by the same people preaching to question everything and have open nuanced discussions. I considered deleting then because the website became almost unusable.

Instead, i found other radfems to follow. I became less likely to express an idea i was unsure of. I started step back from radblr as a place of learning and discussion and viewed it as an anonymous social media website. I was overwhelmed with the amount of posts detailing abuse and femicide. I understand that these events need attention for things to change, but as they were it felt more dirty. Like exploiting their stories for rage bait.

So with little to no traction on posts trying to discuss nuanced feminist topics and an overflow of notes on any silly dumb argument post, I, without intending to, began to seek out more fights. I noticed that I became more prone to showing my ass by replying with what i knew would get the most attention. I am not perfect. I crave attention and community like anyone else. When I became aware of what I was doing, I deleted the tumblr app. I felt weirdly empty and only managed to stay off tumblr for about three days. After that three days I saw the “I love men” post that I showed my whole ass on.

After that interaction was done, I started getting anons asking me how I could use the “dont forget your birth control” line since it was so obviously misogynistic and lesbiphobic. This would have been the ideal type of nuanced discussion i love if that’s what it had been. Is that line misogynistic? Why or why not?

But thats not what happened. What did happen was mutuals calling me names and blocking me. Radfems talking about how they always suspected I was lesbiphobic. I guess that was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I realized that, at least for that account, everything I enjoyed about radblr was all but lost and everything I hated about the fandom/tra account I had was there. At this point I am just trying to stay off social media entirely, but it has become obvious that I am addicted to it. Pretty evident since I’m even typing this huh?

I may come back. I may not. Idk rn. We’ll see but for right now, I just wanted to tell someone why I deleted. I thought about making a post but that would be kinda dumb right? Haha.

I’d love to find a new place to discuss and philosophize but I dont think social media is the place to do it. Its not whats rewarded here.

Good luck and happy discussion, critical thought, and feminism!

-the blog formerly known as @lookupmedicalmisogyny

*for context: a while ago i made a post asking what happened to lookupmedicalmisogyny and she found it and sent me this anon :)*

not 100% sure if I should or shouldn't post this but hey it's whateva.

i totally agree that a lot of radblrs most popular posts nowadays are ragebait/sensational type posts that feel heavily focused on women's suffering or arguing with others on here, rather than educating or respectful discussions between our community. i don't really mind as I just scroll past stuff like that if I know it'll emotionally stress me out or if I find it uninteresting. these past 2 years anyway I've just used radblr to have fun with my mutuals/keep up with them and have a configurated feed to scroll made up from like-minded and or funny women. of course this works for me because I already got to experience and read well written and thought out posts when i was first getting into radical feminism. i mean one should read theory from genuine essays and books, but you can't disagree that quite a lot of girls and young women are first being introduced to radical feminism from social media ("properly" ig opposed to just thinking about it themselves). i think what a lot of women need are irl communities, and they replace that with online communities, because in person can be scary or difficult to do.

anyway kinda off topic there. i didn't see the post that you're talking about, so I'm not sure about any lesbophobic allegations. im not sure how "don't forget to take your birth control" could be considered lesbophobic according to a radblr prospective so idk 🤔 i do miss your educational posts. i remember them bringing topics to light that I had never known about when i was first getting away from liberal/capitalistic "feminism" that i was indoctrinated into as a kid. perhaps you could have one blog for writing serious/important posts for the feminist community and another more personal one that's for fun and to talk about mutuals. while I don't think online community is exactly the best, I wouldn't entirely discredit it. after all it allows us to connect with women all over the world and learn about their experiences! that's pretty awesome. and i can imagine men don't like the idea of women learning about our historical and worldwide oppression, connecting with women everywhere, and understanding intersectional feminism lol. i guess to sum it up as long as you have in person community that's involved with your local government and helping women near you, then i think online stuff is fine and actually a positive thing as well.

do what u feel is best for yourself! social media can be extremely damaging nowadays so take it easy and I hope everything gets better :·)

[remythologise]

as my resident spn blogger, can you please explöain what the hell is going on?

I SIMPLY LOVE WHEN PEOPLE TELL ME THAT I AM THEIR RESIDENT SPN BLOGGER, it's an honour to be here to represent my nation at your own personal tumblr olympics etc... okay well. Essentially, the SPN actors Jensen Ackles and his wife Danneel Ackles formed a company called 'Chaos Machine Productions' (You can't make this up. Chaos Machine. Well. They sure did name it accurately!). Yesterday, two main things happened with respect to that company - firstly, news that the head of development at the company was actively campaigning for more LGBT+ stories, and the instagram having a pride icon etc., which was IMMEDIATELY BURIED by the news that this production company seemingly have the rights to the Supernatural intellectual copyright, and for their first show are working on a show about the 'epic love story' of John and Mary Winchester.

Now, this was controversial with ALL sides of online fandom (Destiel shippers, Wincest shippers, bibros/redditors, etc.) because John Winchester is widely (but not universally) regarded as an abusive father towards Sam and Dean, so the proposition of putting him as a protagonist did Not sit well with most people. In addition, you have the Destiel faction pissed off that this series obviously doesn't address Castiel or Destiel, and the Wincest/BiBro faction pissed off it's... not about the brothers. Nobody really wants a show about Sam and Dean's parents. Hell, they're not really an 'epic love story' - canonically they only fell in love because angels wanted their bloodlines for Sam and Dean to be born, so they forced love through cherub magic. However, at the helm is Robbie Thompson, one of Supernatural's very best and most Destiel & LGBT-friendly writers. Once initial ire dies down people are a bit more optimistic to know Jensen seems to have the rights to Supernatural in general and wants to do a lot of 'gap filling' with regards to canon.

Anyway this news was retweeted by Jensen... and then by Misha, who seemed to, along with other members of the cast such as Rowena, Anna and Adam's actors, kind of say 'haha room for us??? spare employment???' But oh, then Jared Padalecki logged on and made it very clear that he was not aware of this prequel series and was pretty pissed off about not being in it or aware of it. Basically livetweeted a public best-friendship fall out. He even TWEETED Robbie Thompson with this, (and then deleted it) which is honestly. Pretty wild. He may or may not have also unfollowed/refollowed Misha and Jensen on twitter/instagram (sources around this are sketchy). That's the summary of events. Jared has also followed up with a tweet this morning which is. Very funny to me, no further comment.

This also adds to the 'J2 Fallout Theory' (J'squared' referring to Jensen and Jared) that Jensen and Jared, despite famously being very close friends on the show, became Less Close in the wake of a season finale that had Dean killed off and centred around Sam, which Jared seemed to like and Jensen... did not seem to like. Adding to this are the tidbits that Jensen apparently turned down a) the starring role and then b) a directing part on Walker, Jared's current CW show, and that Danneel and Gen Padalecki unfollowed each other on social media. This whole thing has also led to retroactive viewing of J2 interactions like this in a new light.

Biggest L of course to the J2 romantic relationship truthers. RIP to the oldest conspiracy theorists in the fandom. And also the CONVENTIONS that are booked with J2 PANELS AS THE MAIN MONEY-MAKING ATTRACTION.

In addition, various writers have tweeted or liked comments that added fuel to the fire around the issue. (i.e. show creator Eric Kripke confirming he knew about it and liking Misha's tweet, writer Robert Berens laughing at the J2 truthers, Sebastian Roche casting shade on Jared in code, Meghan Fitzmartin just… liking that… tumblr text post... Meanwhile writer Steve Yockey meanwhile liking shady tweets about bad showrunners which seems like almost entirely unrelated shade @ Robert Singer and/or Andrew Dabb and/or others.) But the summary is: content is BACK ON, baby!

[amphibious-entity]

TMBS Book 1 Brain Dump

~An Embarrassingly Long Post~

I don’t know why I’m writing this or why I’m so determined to do it. Maybe to finally assume my true form and become a mega dork on main, or maybe just for fun!

This is basically a compilation of all the main points running through my head after reading The Mysterious Benedict Society (2007) for the first time. Rather than posting a ton and spamming the tag, everything’s here in one neat package! (hopefully this gets it all out of my system rip)

Contents:

The Book Itself

The Book Itself, for real this time

The Characters

A Funny Parallel

The S.Q. Section

Lines & Scenes I Liked

Spoilers abound!

The Book Itself

Upon acquiring the first three books (don’t judge me pls), I was surprised at just how long they are. Like, they’re still pretty light being paperbacks and all, but these books are hefty lads.

The first book has this Disney+ Original Series circle thing printed on it, which is kind of unfortunate. Regardless, I love the cover illustration and yellow is actually my favorite color :D It made me weirdly quite happy whenever I saw the book lying around in my room

Also, it’s really cute how there’s a letter from Mr. Benedict at the end! (It only reveals that you can find out his first name if you “know the code”, meaning the bit of Morse printed below the summary on the back.) Shock and horror, though, as I realized I’m starting to recognize some of the letters

The Book Itself, for real this time

It’s wonderful how the tone of the book really shone through to the show adaptation. Something about the deliberateness of the aesthetic, from the set designs to the fashion to scene compositions, that really sells that particular style— like it’s very clear that this story is being told to us, rather than one we’re seeing unfold, if that makes sense.

Where that narration style stood out to me the most was the first chapter. We are told (rather than shown) how Reynie gets himself to the point of the second test, and there’s this whole twisty time maneuver for that whole sequence of events that’s really interesting

A super secret fun fact about me is that I wanted to be a writer when I was younger! So this particular balance of show vs. tell is really neat, since it runs counter to my own tendencies. The sheer amount of commas in every sentence is also kind of comforting, since Ahah, I Do That in those few serious-ish attempts at writing lol

Overall this book’s style reminds me a lot of Roald Dahl’s books, which are very nostalgic for me :D The whole “kids are more competent than adults” angle helps a lot too haha

The Characters

Oh boy here’s where I get a little bit critical! Overall I did really like this book!! it’s just that that expresses itself in all this weird “”analysis”” lol

Reynie - much better in the books than in the show

It’s sort of a lukewarm take but I feel like show!Reynie is kind of boring? He doesn’t have a lot going on flaw-wise, and obviously since he’s the protagonist he can’t have too many weird traits or else the kids watching can’t project themselves onto him as easily

(I call it the difference between an aspirational protagonist and a vessel protagonist. Going off of the Roald Dahl vibes, think Matilda vs Charlie. show!Reynie is more of a Charlie)

Thus when we get to see him really struggle with the Whisperer and doubt himself it gives him a lot more dimension, at least in my opinion

It is a federal crime that the white knight scenes were not adapted into the show

Sticky - my son

I’ve long held to no one besides myself and my long suffering sister that Sticky is The Best Member of the Society

He happened to hit a lot of the Bingo squares of Stuff I Like In Characters: glasses, anxious, nice :), kind of a coward but ultimately is there for his friends, etc

For some reason I don’t talk about him nearly as much as you-know-who, but I love him just as dearly

Kate & Constance - I don’t have much to say

Kate is really interesting in this book! I like how we get to see more of her depths, in particular that one passage about her belief that she is invincible being the only thing that keeps her from falling apart? :c

Also her constant fidgeting is relatable lol

Constance is somehow a lot more tolerable in the book. I think I’m just one of those people with no patience for small children, unfortunately lol

(Some of) The Adults

It’s interesting that they had such an offscreen presence for most of the book. Giving them more time was probably one of the stronger changes of the show

However if that decision was made at the expense of the white knight scenes I think the choice should have been clear

I like the way Rhonda and Number Two are written

Milligan always on sad boy hours 😔✊

The “mill again” passage is touching but kind of messes up the pacing of the getaway, at least for me. Maybe I should read it again to make sure I didn’t miss something

Miss Perumal is much better in the show. We see so little of her in the book she doesn’t function well as an emotional anchor for Reynie, imo

The Institute Gang

Jackson and Jillson serve their purpose well, and Martina was surprising to say the least. I like the direction they took her in the show! I can’t imagine how funny it must have been to watch the tetherball subplot come out of nowhere lolol

These sections were written out of sequence, so random tidbit I couldn’t fit in The S.Q. Section: I like how he stumbles over his words. relatable

Mr. Curtain

While I think I know why they decided to not give Curtain the wheelchair in the show, we were totally robbed of Actor Tony Hale’s performance for the reveal during the final confrontation

Speaking of the wheelchair, it’s such a powerful symbol of his need for control or rather, his fear of losing it

The Contrast between him and Mr. Benedict. This point is expanded on in A Funny Parallel

Mr. Benedict

Oh boy, Mr. Benedict… How do I say this

I find it hard to trust Mr. Benedict, unfortunately

I mean to say, I do in the sense that I know he would never hurt the kids, thanks to knowing that a) this is a children’s book series and b) the meta (tumblr) states that he is really nice and lovable and stuff, but seriously. Why do the kids trust him at first?? I probably missed something somewhere

I like to think I’m an optimistic person, but unfortunately I’m also super paranoid. The premise of “a bunch of vulnerable orphans team up with a strange old man” is just so odd to me I don’t know how to explain it

I don’t know!!! I really want to trust Mr. Benedict

One of the strengths of the show is that we get to see him more often, and thus he gets to acknowledge more often that the plan is weird and that he feels really badly for putting the kids in danger and that he’s trustworthy and genuine

But his lack of presence for most of the book just makes him into something of a specter, invisible and unknowable, speaking only in riddles from across the bay

Which is why the white knight scene is so important!! I loved that scene ;-;

Because here’s an actual emotional connection! We can actually see it happening, rather than only being told that it exists

Reynie asking for advice and receiving encouragement, in words that demonstrate that Mr. Benedict actually cares about him and worries about him and agghh

It is a federal crime that the white knight scenes were not adapted into the show

But overall this whole issue didn’t ruin my enjoyment of the book at all! It’s just ->

A Funny Parallel

Okay, ready for my biggest brain, hottest take ever??

Mr. Benedict and Mr. Curtain…. are… the same

I mean obviously not entirely, given that one is benevolent and kind and the other is… Mr. Curtain

But seriously. Genius old man seeks out children (mainly orphans) to enact a plan. Said children often end up incredibly devoted to his cause and deeply admire him this is a little flimsy

Undoubtedly that’s intentional and is supposed to show the difference between them, like some kind of cautionary tale? “Let yourself be vulnerable and let others help you, lest you turn eeeeviiillll”

I guess that’s where the aforementioned epic contrast comes in. You get Mr. Curtain, strapped into his wheelchair and hiding behind those mirrored sunglasses, terrified (but unwilling to admit it) of ever showing the tiniest hint of vulnerability, vs. Mr. Benedict, who can let himself fall knowing that someone will catch him :’)

Anyhow I have nothing against the parallels, I just think it’s funny

The S.Q. Section

The S.Q. Quarantine Thread so it doesn’t leak out everywhere else <3

I’d like to meet the emo angstlord genius who read this book and decided to make SQ into Dr. Curtain’s son. What in the world

Okay I should probably preface this by saying that I absolutely adore both book!S.Q. and show!SQ with all my heart. Somehow, despite being a completely different character in both mediums, he has managed to be one of the best characters in either and certainly one of my favorites (besides Sticky of course) in the entire franchise, despite the fact that I’ve only read the first book/watched the show so far. I am confident in this statement.

But seriously! How?? Why?? I could probably write a whole other essay about why show!SQ is such an interesting character, and the change works so incredibly well. I’m just. Baffled

Okay, focus. book!S.Q. is such a sweetheart, oh my goodness. Like, 100% one of the most endearing characters in the book. Poor guy. I don’t even know where to start!!

He just seems to be a genuinely good guy at heart, despite being technically one of the bad guys. He’s genuinely happy for Reynie and Sticky when they became Messengers and helped Kate when she “fell” and was concerned about Constance when she looked sick and how he was in that meeting with Mr. Curtain and Martina?!!? aaahhhhghgh ;-; he just wants people to be happy TT-TT

Comparing him against literally every character at the Institute is probably what makes him so endearing tbh. When everyone else is so awful to the kids, it really makes him stand out. Like a cheerful little nightlight in the worst, most humid and rank bathroom you’ve ever been in

It’s kind of pointless to theorize about a book series that’s already concluded (I think?) but. Is the implication of S.Q.’s forgetfulness supposed to be that Mr. Curtain used him in brainsweeping experiments somehow? The timeline probably definitely absolutely doesn’t line up but like. How did he get to being a Messenger being the way he is now, given how cutthroat the process is? And then of course Mr. Curtain keeps him around as an Executive because he’s fun to mess with and presumably his loyalty. I’m very curious as to how their relationship develops in the other books, if at all. Those are probably where the seeds of the “let’s make them family” logic were planted

But wouldn’t it be hilarious if the reason we don’t know what “S.Q.” stands for in the books is that he just. Forgot

Another thing that occurred to me. Given that he and the other Executives were Messengers at some point, what were their worst fears? What is S.Q.’s worst fear?? Inquiring minds need to know

One last horrible little anecdote: I was thinking about book!S.Q. while eating breakfast, as one does, and suddenly it hit me.

I want to believe The Author Trenton Lee Stewart had the name for a character, S.Q. Pedalian, and was like, “Hm! What sort of quirky trait should this young fellow have?” Because, of course, in this style of fiction every character has to have at least one cartoonish or otherwise distinguishing trait to stand out in the minds of children. (For instance, Kate has her bucket, Sticky has his glasses, Constance is angry, and Reynie is Emmett from the Lego Movie)

Anyhow, he looks around the room, searching for inspiration. Suddenly he comes across a jumbo box of plastic wrap. Completely innocuous in design, save for one line of text. 300 SQ FT.

“…large… S.Q. …feet? THAT’S IT!” i’m sorry

Lines & Scenes I Liked

In no particular order!

Sticky quotes Sun Tzu, The Art of War

Evil combination aerobics/square dancing in the gym with the Executives

Everyone being happy at the end :’)

Everyone partying after Sticky reunites with his parents, and later finding Mr. Benedict asleep at his desk from the moment they shook hands :’’)

Literally any scene with Sticky in it

Any time Kate says “you boys” or “gosh”

[“Um, sir?” S.Q. said timidly, raising his hand. “A thought just occurred to me.” / Mr. Curtain raised his eyebrows. “That’s remarkable, S.Q. What is it?”] clown prince of my heart </3

S.Q.’s determined monologue about searching for clues after he bungled up the first time

Literally any scene with S.Q. in it (please refer to The S.Q. Section)

Reynie trying to resist the Whisperer.

[Let us begin. / First let me polish my spectacles, Reynie thought. / Let us begin. / Not without my bucket, Reynie insisted. He heard Mr. Curtain muttering behind him. / Let us begin, let us begin, let us begin. / Rules and schools are tools for fools, Reynie thought.]

NO MORE HURTIN’ WITH CURTAIN

Milligan showing up on the island!!

Remember the white knight hhhhhh

“controle”

A Super Secret Bonus Section

I would be extremely surprised if anyone read through all the way down here lol. Regardless, here’s a little acknowledgements section :D not tagging anyone since I don’t want to bother all of these people

Special shoutout to tumblr blog stonetowns for unknowingly yet singlehandedly demolishing my reluctance to read the books by posting a ton of cute quotes. Thank you for your service o7

Thanks to the two OGs that liked the post I made right before this one, for being my unwitting enablers and for sticking around despite being a) technically an internet stranger (hello!) and b) someone I haven’t spoken to irl in literal years (hey!!)

Last but not least thankz 2 my sister for putting up with me ranting about the book when I first got it and for asking about “CQ” sometimes lol. (i desperately hope you’re not reading this orz)

[karasimpno]

Karasimpno’s Top 10 Posts of 2020!

Thank you so much to Jade (@honeybunny-sawamura) for tagging me in this and giving me a reason to celebrate myself! And also because I didn’t get around to doing an end of year appreciation post! First, here are my top ten posts of the year (based both on the stats and my personal preferences ;) ), and then I’m gonna talk a lil about folks I’m super grateful for!!!!

HQ Boys Seeing their S/O in Lingerie

This one kicked off my winter writing mini-marathon hahaha! I’m pretty proud of it - just some good ole fashioned boys lovin their sexy partner in lingerie!! Ft. Atsumu, Akaashi, Suga, Iwaizumi, and Sakusa

Bokuto//Back Muscles//2pm

Need I say more? Bokuto smut as a part of my 2:25 event! SMUT

Run Away With Me ft. Suga

Suga rushes over to your place to ask you a very important question. Whaddaya say? Fluff, part of my 25 Days of Ficmas event!

Sick Day ft. Akaashi

Ugh this one was so self indulgent for my Akaashi simping self but yeah. Things get a lil heated w Akaashi before he realizes your forehead is a lil heated and exerting yourself is the LAST thing you should be doing. Fluff with a dash of spice. Part of fluffvember!

The Party Goes With You ft. Kuroo

You don’t know his name, but you’re almost certain you’re in love with him. Mystery man Kuroo sweeps you off your feet during winning dances in the high-stakes poker game you deal for. Angsty, part of my 25 Days of Ficmas event!

What Happens If I Do This? Ft. Oikawa

You’ve been working hard and Oikawa just wants to make you feel better... fluff that gets a lil spicy (the best kind of fluff)

Graduation Button Ft. Kenma

This was such a sweet request I got where Kenma gives you his button at graduation. Fluff!

(Un)Wedded Bliss Ft. HardDom!Ennoshita

You and Ennoshita attend a wedding together, and dang if he doesn’t look good in a suit. It gets you thinking ideas that should probably wait until you get home, but Ennoshita’s gonna make you wait as long as possible before that happens. SMUT

Who Will Say It First? Ft. Asahi

You and your best friend are nearing the end of your high school year. Maybe it’s time you’re both honest with each other. Fluff:)

If I Loved You ft. Ushijima

You meet college volleyball star Ushijima Wakatoshi at the end of your senior year, not looking to get involved with anyone new. But a discussion about hypotheticals and a perfect night may end up surprising you. Fluff, part of my 25 Days of Ficmas event

Thank you so much to ALL OF YOU for following and liking and reblogging and commenting, it means the world to me and I read every one. I seriously do it for the serotonin hahahaha so I appreciate each and every one of you. Below the cut are some folks that I’ve particularly gotten joy from ilygsm

@chiefest-and-greatest-calamity you were literally my first follower and continue to be my biggest fan. I’ll never know what you see so much in my writing but I can’t tell you how much your support means to me. I love u SO MUCH and thank you for bringing a smile to my face with memes every day:) ily

@ceo-of-daichi LYDIA you were like one of my first ten followers and the first person to really encourage me to write smut heheheh so thank you for that. But beyond that, YOU’RE SO TALENTED I remember being floored when you followed me it felt like the beginning of making big strides for me. You were a huge role model to me in how I structured my blog and writing and stuff and it’s been so lovely to interact with you

@mrs-kuroojinguji aaaaa darling you’re so wonderful!! I’m so glad we’re moots and I love reading your writing!!!

@azo-musxas ugh GOD I PROMISE I’M GETTING TO YOUR OIKAWA REQ I’m sorry it’s taken forever!!! Ily please forgive me, I love going feral with you and seeing your comments on my posts <3

@heauxzenji IT WAS LITERALLY THE BIGGEST HONOR WHEN YOU FOLLOWED ME!!!!!! I adore everything you write and I just think you’re the coolest cucumber. You’re like hq tumblr royalty; I’m so glad we’re moots, thank you for being amazing <3

@honeybunny-sawamura JADE YOU ABSOLUTE ANGEL I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!! Idk what I did to be blessed by your constant love and support, you’re amazing and I love your writing, thank you for being such an incredible cheerleader

@tsumurai ILYSM you’re so cool I’m so glad we’re moots. You were such an incredible support during the 25 days of ficmas event and it meant so much to me!!

@waitforitillwritemywayout AAAA Sabi I’m so glad we interact so much now!! You used to really intimidate me bc I love everything about your blog but it warms my heart to know you a little better now:):)

@alto-march-of-death AL YOU ANGEL it’s been so good to get to know you recently, thank you so much for interacting so often, you’re such a sweetheart and I feel like we’re very similar :) makes me happy to see you on my dash

@kodzurin ugh. Darling. I love you so much. I love seeing you interact with all your character anons (yes all of them, but especially one ;) ) and I’m so glad we’re moots. I love your work and I selfishly hope you post more of it!!! 

@daichis-kitty Kat you are my whole life omg your comments and tags on my posts recently mean the WORLD TO ME and you just fill my heart with joy ILYSM THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR LOVE N SUPPORT

@keishinslove I’m so GLAD we bonded over our love for Ukai Keishin, 26, high school volleyball coach last week like I just felt like I had a kindred spirit there and I’m so glad we met <3

@helloaisabelle AISY I - I’m so grateful that we chatted for so long the other night about writing and everything. Your writing is seriously incredible and it was so nice to just talk about writing in general. I know we like just became moots but I really kinda already consider you a friend haha I just really enjoyed talking to you and I think you’re wonderful <3

@lovingseijoh​, @datech, @chaotickatts, @kenmasbb, @b0ba-chan, @aiiishiiiteru, @tetsurolls, @atsubos, @softsakusa​, @prettysetterbaby​ I still cannot beLIEVE each of you follows me. Y’all are like hq tumblr royalty to me and I’m so GRATEFUL that you follow me. Thank you for being such inspirations and for making me so excited to be here. Thank you thank you thank you.

@karasunobbys, @matsukipple, @kingdoms--night--star, @crescentsteel @tsumtsumland see you guys on my dash all the time and it makes me happy!!!

and of course I’d be remiss if I didn’t give the BIGGEST THANK U to @bluntkingkuroo for getting me into this show, for beta reading all my shit, for indulging me in tom foolery, and for generally being a great friend. so grateful I’ve known you this long!!!! thank u for enabling me lol

[annetteblog]

Intro & My take on KM

Hi!

I’m new around here so it’s supposed to be (not so short) introduction, since I don’t know how to start a blog heh. I hope to sprinkle my 0.5 cents into the KM conversation and maybe to bring a new perspective from someone, who is not a part of the typical English-speaking West.

Who /the hell/ Am I?  

(please, consider it to be said with NJ’s voice from Intro: Persona :D)

I was born in Siberia (it’s in the Asian part of Russia), currently live in the European part of the country while studying at a Uni (European in terms of geography, not in terms of everything else i’m definitely not shading rn lolllll). English is not my first language, I’ve just kind of learnt it to some extent. Due to this it takes me more time to write a post; and I may (and will) make some grammatical & other mistakes. Plus I’m lazy AND busy with Uni, so I won’t even promise to be consistent in posting smth lol. But I thought I need more practice in terms of writing in English, so here I am, actually scribbling something. This feels weird, because I’ve been around stan Tumblr since 2015, but never ever interacted, just read.

How I ended up around Jikook/Kookmin (and BTS) & My (long&messy) take on this matter

Although I had heard of BTS before, I became an Army only in October 2018. I had kinda avoided them, because you know... boybands.... sing songs about romantic love and how they love girls.......... (+I had been around Twitter when 1D been at their peak and I remember a quite toxic community of fans, whom always had scared me). Shortly, hello stereotypes. Obviously, after I got engaged I felt terribly sorry that I had been sleeping on them, but what is done cannot be undone. 

Someone I knew back then reposted one of their MVs and I, during my sad hours of procrastination, decided to watch it. Then I saw their live performance with the same song. And I thought “wow these guys can sing and dance and the music is kinda cool, i need to check this out maybe??” 

Then a funny thing happened. One of the next videos I watched (the same person had it added to their page) was a 2016 BangtanBomb where JM and JK practiced their Coming of Age dance. 

Do you know this moment with Gina from the 1st episode of Brooklyn 9-9:

Well, that was precisely me after I watched it. I don’t even know how to explain this, it was kind of a gut feeling? Whatever you call it, I started to get suspicious and couldn’t even explain to myself why. /actually now a do have questions to this vid and the main one - why does everyone cringe that much? if it’s a girly choreo than they had done some “girly” moves before. why is there such strong reaction??/

I started to get deeper and went to some ru-shipper communities. Shipping culture among Russian speaking fans is... well, weird to some extent, but I maybe address this topic some time later. You need to consider that (as far as you probably know) Russia is quite homophonic country and sadly is not the greatest place for LGBTQ+ community at the moment. The non-frienly influential attitudes hanging in the society + the general shippers’ weirdness = the result is not that nice honestly. 

I struggled for some time in order to find more mature people (not just in terms of age but in general sanity), failed, ended up with some EXTREMELY toxic ru-fans of TK, which was/is the most popular pairing here, spent among them like 15 minutes and ran away horrified. After that I didn’t even try to engage with shippers or believers or whatever of any pair and just decided to enjoy the music and the content (which is a great idea, highly recommend!)

After a couple of days I discovered that JK makes videos. I love video, films and visual art so I immediately found them on YT, saw the titles with names of different cities from all over the world and was like “Oh that must be so cool, he’s visited so many outstanding places I’ve never been to, so I really need to watch it! I shall enjoy some beautyyy”. Then I clicked on GCFt.

Well, what can I say. I did enjoy some beauty, but not the type I had initially anticipated. The biggest clickbait in my entire life. JK should be proud of himself.

                                       /as I said - the beauty/

I had already known Troy back then and I known the song’s lyrics so it would not be an underestimation to say - the video just blew my mind. I was like - hold on is this real? seriously?? no really really????? he manage to get away with something THAT obvious?????? dude how

As a person who edited videos AND is not a native English speaker, I don’t buy the explanation “oh he mustve didnt get the lyrics lmao”. You just don’t do that. You don’t. DON’T. You google and translate every shit you don’t understand, every word and idiom you’ve never encountered, because otherwise the possibility of an epic failure is very likely. You wouldn’t want to give your mum a video as a birthday present and then discover that you used a song with WAP-ish lyrics, right? (well maybe that would be okay in your family, I don’t judge, but that’s not the case for people I know). So don’t you dare to degrade JK’s intellectual capacities; such assumption is really offensive. He is a smart boii, he knows exactly what he’s doing in terms of his art.

So I was shocked, but decided to look for the context - maybe I missed some previous events regarding this Tokyo thing (another great idea - always check the context). Well, apparently I didn’t, because the whole narrative with the trip for two, lovely selfies etc. made my poor brain lowkey explode. (I still don’t buy the rings theory thing though)

But I didn’t give up lol! I’m a bit stubborn and it’s very hard to convince me in anything, so I decided to search for more context, more of their interactions, moreeee. Remember, the late October 2018, there were no swan lakes, RB, and even MMA18 hadn’t happened yet. 

This time I ended up watching content in more or less consistent way, and when I saw all of these scenes with affectionate JM and a cool badass i-don’t-care-about-anyone-i’m-a-manly-man-with-no-feelings-whatsoever JK, I just hysterically laughed. 

Homophobic Russia, remember? I recognized this. Growing up here being LGBT myself, taught me the same type behaviour during my high school days. When a girl I kinda liked but didn’t what to admit it to myself was nice to me or (oh god) flirted with me, I did something similar. It’s like a huge panic mode. Being an introvert doesn’t help either. The funniest thing is that you may not entirely realise what exactly is going on in terms of your own feelings, especially at that age (16-18ish). In my personal case, I thought I liked her but as a friend, only later to realise that well not as a friend oops :DDD The second thing (already not so funny) is that you actually consciously or unconsciously try to avoid the subject as much as possible, as long as possible and pretend that nothing is going on. We’re just bros. Stop doing this stupid gayish thing and don’t look at me like that, you’re annoying. If you ever do this again I (gently) kick you. I’m straighter than a straight line in my math textbook. IDK, but probably that’s your brain is somehow trying to protect you. Again, in my case&position I knew that the consequences for any non-straight person being outed would be bad (TW not to the point of being killed bad, but to the point of being excluded from a big part of society). So for me it was a mixture of the internalized homophobia + lack of self reflection + just being a bit emotionally slow + very! straight community around. Shit happens, I was a teenager and made my share of mistakes, but that experience helps me to recognize the same pattern of behaviour up to this day.   

So coming back to KM, because the post is already waaay too long and I just ramble. It’s been 2+ years for me being a part of this fandom, and what can I say... Things become more intense and eventful with every year passing by ;) Funny how I felt that vibe from the 2016 dance practice video. Seeing the Black Swan performance a week ago almost had me choked, no joking. They are amazing.

                                                    Pure Art

However, and I would like to emphasize that, I do not incline that KM are 100% romantically involved and/or gay or whatever. I tend to treat people with respect and not to make too much assumptions about their private life. That’s not my business. However, I’m also not a fan of heteronormativity, so I’m just sitting here and observe everything that’s going on putting some distance and not forgetting being generally polite and critical thinking. But if they are just straightest besties please give them an Oscar before Grammy

Anyways, I hope this blog won’t kick the bucket from the very start and I will post something every now and then. You can always ask me questions about some BTS/Jikook related stuff or something about Russia and a Russian view on mass culture topics, since I’m pretty sure some of you have very stereotypical view of what is going on here :) However, do note that I’ve never been to America or Europe, therefore I may not be aware of something verrrry obvious to you or just have a completely different experience. 

P.S.  And yeah, I’m used to say Jikook, since it’s the name which is used much more frequently in Russian.  i like it better and what will u do haha

[jxgllypuff]

It's been a while, right, tumblr?

A lot of things happened, obviously. My last post was from a couple of months ago, and as I have said, a lot of things happend, so expect fot this post to be super lengthy. 🤣

Welcoming 2022 with a heart that's filled with bliss. 2021 taught me a lot, it tested my patience, it unraveled my insecurities that it came to the point that the confidence I was building up almost shattered. It was painful, but I have to conceal. From then on, I held back on trusting other people again. In 2021, I experienced the biggest betrayal and heartbreak. And I wish that this year, it will not happen again.

But who would've thought? The worst situation led me to the unexpected friendships. They have been one of my pillars of strength since.

2021 has been a year of firsts. I was given opportunities that I am grateful for.

First organization presidency. I was elected as the president of the organization in our graduate school department. Who would've thought? I was inexperienced, but they still believed.

First speaking engagement. I was invited to be a keynote speaker in one of the events of our college. I was hesitant at first, because I thought, how can I inspire students through a 45-minute talk? And it dawned on me, this is the answer to one of my prayers-- to be an instrument to my students in being confident in their abilities and that they are capable of achieving bigger things. So I accepted, and I admit, I'm a bit nervous, but I was able t push through. Thanks to the people whp supported me.

First hosting stint. This was actually kind of funny. During the brief, I was told that I will be a quiz master and will only read the questions to the quizzers. But eventually, I became the host. And it paved the way for more hosting stints for me. Might as well make this a career haha

First organization adviser duty. I remember we were just joking around that I'll be an org adviser in the next semester. And guess what? It came true. I received a message that I will be an organization adviser for this academic year! And again, since this is my first time, I was a bit confused on what to do, but thanks to my officers, they have been supportive and cooperative, that I never felt left out at all.

Words could not express how thankful I am. These are achievements that I'll always be proud of. Despite the betrayals and heartbreak, there are still more things that happened in 2021 that are worth celebrating.

I see it, I want it, I like it, I got it. Kaka-1.00 cutie at 1.25 cutie ko to! Hahaha

Kidding aside, I really set myself in aiming 1.00s and 1.25s this semester, and I wanted to give it as a gift to myself. And getting there of course wasn't easy. I only had 4 hours of sleep (or less) as I work on with my paper, codes, and report. Not that I'm complaining... it's because this is what I wanted. And to get there, I have to work extra hard. I have to make the most out of it. And I had to do my grad school tasks while juggling being a student leader, instructor, organization adviser, and even as an event host.

I won't be taking all the credit though. This won't be possible without the help of my pillars of strength, whether its moral support or output suggestions, it still helped. I wouldn't be the person I am today without them.

The greatest gratitude is always for God Almighty.

And now, as a new year opens, I will start it with an optimistic mindset, with confidence, and self-love. After all, the greatest achievements can be attained if you believed in yourself that you can.

Padayon! ♡

Fatima Marie ~

[bentothuglife]

2020 in review

I was tagged by @brokennecksfeatherweights, but it’s been a hell of a week so I’m only doing it now haha.

Rules: answer the questions about 2020 and tag some people to pass it on!

5 favourite films you watched in 2020

(here meaning movies I watched for the first time in 2020 but not necessarily that came out in 2020)

Knives Out

Birds of Prey

Jennifer’s Body

Thoroughbreds

Hustlers

5 favourite TV shows you watched in 2020

The Crown

Superstore

Canada’s Worst Driver

Doro He Doro

Beastars

5 favourite songs you listened to in 2020

“Shake the Disease” Depeche Mode

“Okay I Believe You but My Tommy Gun Don’t” Brand New (this was a depressive episode, do not recommend)

“how will i rest in peace if i’m buried by a highway?//” KennyHoopla

“Судно (Sudno)” Молчат Дома (Molchat Doma)

“4K” El Alfa x Darell x Noriel

Top 5 albums of 2020

Ugly Is Beautiful, Oliver Tree

Paharda, Nürnberg

Sci-Fi Sky, Lebanon Hanover

Objets perdus, Evelyne Brochu

Des heures clandestines, Jérôme Rocipon (it’s a lil bb ep but I still love it)

Top 5 books you read in 2020

Finally Goodreads is good for something

Solutions and Other Problems, Allie Brosh

Middlegame, Seanan McGuire

The City We Became, N.K. Jemisin

The Queen of Ieflaria, Effie Calvin

Hiding in Plain Sight, Sarah Kendzior

Honourable mentions to all of Yotsuba to! and most of Flying Witch mangas which were truly a delight.

How did you spend your birthday this year

Alone in lockdown. I bought a really nice single-serve chocolate cake from the ~fancy~ bakery (the very stylish employees kept asking me if I was sure I only wanted one individual cake? really?) and ordered a feast of delivery sushi from my favourite local spot and I videocalled my parents and some friends. I for sure watched a movie as well but can’t remember which one. Probably something spooky because my birthday is a little before Halloween.

What was your most memorable day this year

Either, the last day at the office before we went remote-only, and everyone was going around in hushed voices wondering what was going to happen until we finally got the email from management saying we would be remote-only as of Monday so we were all emailing ourselves our workstation IP addresses so we could configure our remote desktop once we got home, etc. and at the end of the day I brought my plant into the elevator and rode down with two other people taking their plants home.

Or the day this summer when my friend who also lives alone and never sees anyone and I went to her family’s cottage and we did mushrooms (me for the first time) and sat outside by the pond and watched the leaves and the clouds and the water and danced to reggaeton and built a fire when it started to get dark (and we were still both tripping, she more than me but I have zero fire-building experience so I was like project managing to keep her On Task) and it was just this perfect beautiful day

What was your most memorable meal you had this year

Birthday sushi, but probably the charcuterie assortment at the cottage after our trip ended is a close second.

Did you find any new hobbies or interests in quarantine

Mostly I picked up ones that I hadn’t been spending time on for a while. I sewed two dresses, studied Japanese including reading lots of manga and watching anime, lately I’ve picked my guitar up for the first time in years and have been knitting a little as well. I did buy an embroidery book but haven’t tried it yet.

What was the last big event/thing you remember doing BC (before covid)?

I genuinely don’t remember. Probably last year’s company Christmas party.

5 good/positive things that happened to you in 2020:

I started doing a weekly tabletop RPG online with a Twitter mutual and his gaming group

Working from home is something I’ve always wished I could do, honestly this was a positive change for me personally

Started doing yoga most days

Started watching a movie with friends while texting in a group chat at least once a week, do recommend

Actually got new tumblr mutuals this year and new followers who weren’t porn spam blogs for the first time since the Exodus!

Biggest messages or lessons learnt from this year?

Humans really do fundamentally need to connect, and while you might feel alone, there are probably a lot of people in your life who’d love to hear from you. Also the importance of rest and giving yourself what you need to recharge your batteries.

And what are you most looking forward to in 2021?

Trying not to have any expectations as far as the wider world, but I’m excited for spring/summer. I hope the cherry tree I planted in my yard this fall flowers and maybe even gets some cherries! I hope the asparagus I planted this year can be harvested next summer. Looking forward to spending time (virtually and maybe irl) with friends and loved ones.

Not gonna tag anyone in particular, please do this if you want to!

[lovemesomesurveys]

[found at: asking-questions-replying-t-blog - Tumblr]

Sunrise or sunset? Sunset.

Are you mentally ill? I have depression and anxiety.

Are you physically ill? I have physical health issues as well.

What is the most expensive thing you have bought? My very first MacBook back in 2009.

Do you have a job? No.

Are you in school? No. I graduated UC back in 2015.

Are you a dropout? No.

Are you in college? See my answer up there ^^^

Introvert or extrovert? I’m an introvert all the way.

What do you think when you look at your body? Gross. 

What have others said when they look at your body? Uh, I don’t want to know. Do you have a particular song that you feel deeply? A lot of songs I really connect with. Talk about a time in your life where you have felt most alive? I don’t know.

Are you confident wearing a bikini? Noooo. I have never worn a bikini.

Can you look people in the eyes while talking? Yes, but it gets awkward for me quick and I have to look away. I switch between the two.

Has anything terrible happened to you? I was a victim of gun violence at just 7 months old and became a paraplegic.

Has anything wonderful happened to you? My faith, my family, my pets, good friends, fun vacations.

Favorite part of your personality? I think I’m really understanding.

Least favorite part of your personality? I’m irritable, moody, sensitive, impatient, unmotivated, self-deprecating, negative, pessimistic...

Favorite part of your body? Nothing.

Least favorite part of your body? I don’t like my body.

Favorite quote? There’s a ton.

Do you have friendships with all genders? I don’t have any friends currently, but yeah I used to.

Do you have a good relationship with your father? Yes.

Do you have a good relationship with your mother? Yes. I’m really close to my mom, she’s my best friend and rock.

Do you have a good relationship with your siblings? Yes. My younger brother and I are really close.

Have you ever been hurt physically or mentally by a family member? No.

Have you ever had a near death experience? Yes, twice.

Do you know anyone who has taken their own life? Yes.

Have you ever tried to take your own life? No.

Biggest lie you have told? Saying I’m fine and downplaying things.

Do you follow any conspiracies? Yeah, I find them interesting.

Do you believe in a New World Order? No.

Is there currently any strife in your country? My country is a hot mess. <<<

Have you ever been displaced within your country? No. Are your friendships healthy? I don’t have any.

Are you currently fighting with a friend? ---

Are you jealous of a friend? Why? --

Do you believe in the Illuminati? No. It’s an interesting conspiracy, though.

Do you think any celebrities are associated with the Illuminati? Who? There are many who are said to be apart of it, but like I said I don’t think it’s real.

How can people tell you are nervous? I fidget and squirm, pick at my nails, mess with my hair, bite my lips, fiddle around with my hands, etc.

How can people tell you are sad? When I’m really sad and moody I shut down and become short and quiet and want to be alone.

Do you ever express your true feelings? I downplay a lot and keep a lot to myself.

Regrets in your life? Yes, several.

Achievements in your life? One would say getting my BA in psych, but I can’t even see that as an achievement anymore because I haven’t done shit since graduating and don’t have any plans to. I have no idea what I want to do. It feels like a waste now.

What did people say about you in school? They were probably like, “who?” ha.

Is there something you have never told anyone? Yes.

Have you committed an illegal act? I downloaded music and movies in the past, I’m sorry.

If you had two days to spend one million dollars how would you spend it? Oh wow. I’d have to pay off mine, my parents’ and my brother’s debts first and foremost and then I’d buy us a house and furnish it. I’d love to get a beach house, too. Then miscellaneous shopping. I’d love to travel, but with COVID and only two days to spend the money that wouldn’t work.

What were your aspirations at age 5, 10, 15, 18? I don’t think I really had any at 5 or 10, I was just enjoying being a kid. At 15 I knew I wanted to pursue psychology after graduating high school. At 18 I still wanted to go to college for psychology.

Describe your first kiss? Was it how you imagined? It was awkward, but it was my first kiss and all I knew. I was just giddy about having had my first kiss haha.

Growing up were you in a wealthy, average, or low income household? Average income household.

Are you from a broken marriage? No.

Have you been raised by a solo parent? No.

Do you know both your parents? Yes, they’re fortunately both very much involved in my life and always have been.

What color eyes, hair and skin do you have? Brown, naturally brown but dye it red, pale. 

Have you abused drugs or alcohol? I used to socially drink and did weed a few times, that’s it.

What languages can you speak? Just English fluently, but I know some Spanish.

Do you cry often? Yes.

Are you comfortable accepting compliments? No, I’m grateful and appreciative, but I never know how to react or respond. <<<

Are you comfortable giving compliments? I don’t give out many compliments for some reason. I feel awkward doing so.

Is any mental illness hindering your life? Very much so.

Is any physical illness hindering your life? Very much so.

Do you keep up with current events? I try to, but not as much as I could be. I used to be better at that.

What’s the latest news in the world you have heard/read? COVID vaccination stuff.

What have you done today? Not much so far, it’s only 7:35AM.

Do you sleep well? No. I haven’t in a very long time. :/

Do you sleep badly? Yes.

Have you ever hurt anyone because you were hurting? Not intentionally, but yes.

Has anyone ever hurt you because they were hurting? Yes. Hurt people hurt people.

Have you ever had to end a friendship/relationship? Why? Yes, for reasons.

Have you ever stopped someone from hurting themselves? Yes.

Has anyone ever stopped you from hurting yourself? No.

Do you like your laugh? It’s whatever.

Are you preparing for an apocalypse? Last year kinda felt that way.

And what kind? The pandemic kind.

Do you have any funny family stories? Yeah, a ton.

Are you religious? Yes.

Do you like to watch true crime shows or movies? I do.

Are you interested in cults? Learning about them, yes. I have no interest in joining one.

Would you like to raise a family in your country? I don’t want to have children.

List some things you wanted in your childhood but never got? Hmm. I don’t know to be honest. I had a really nice childhood.

Is there a large age gap between you and a sibling? My younger brother and I are 10 years apart.

Do you believe in marriage? Why/Why not? I don’t think it’s for me, personally.

What is the nicest thing anyone has said to you? Uhhh.

Do you keep a journal? This is it.

Would anyone be hurt by reading it? Possibly.

Do you have children? Nooo.

Have you been pregnant? Nooo. I’m a virgin and I also can’t get pregnant, so.

List your favorite movies? I have many. List your favorite people? My family.

Talk about the birthmarks and scars on your body? I have a little birthmark on my right elbow and many scars from surgeries and other things.

Do you look after yourself? Not like I should at all. :/

Do you put yourself or others first? Others.

Are you happy today? I’m bleh.

Are you loved? I know my family loves me.

[alaskagirl]

Since I’ve been gone

Hi! It’s been three years whew. 

I’ve decided to go back to blogging. Well at least try to. It was crazy because I was lurking around twitter and suddenly missed tumblr. Later on, I posted some film photos and a tumblr friend of mine said she stalked my tumblr. Haha! I immediately logged in to my tumblr and also checked my blogspot site and damn, it was pure bliss. Looking back at how passionate I was before and how I produced those posts and photos, it made me really miss blogging and miss my old self. And so with that, I decided to go back to blogging.

Throwback storytime

Since I’ve just come back, I thought I should share some of my memories of my blogging journey. I started back in 2012 as I was turning first year college. May 6, 2012 to be exact (I checked). All I had was my laptop and the photos that I posted were just grabbed from my friends. I think I also used my phone back then, my Nokia C3. It later evolved somehow as I got an iPod touch for my 18th birthday. As far as looking through my old photos, mostly they were just events wherein we took a lot of photos or had photoshoots with my friends. Others were just thoughts that ran through my mind. 

I remembered that there was a point in time where my laptop broke. That didn’t stop me from blogging. It was either I post in my iPod touch or after school hours, I use the computer in the library to do my posts. It’s a funny memory. 

During those years, I’ve also talked with a few bloggers who became my friends. One of which is ate Yesha (sheiscrazyesha). I remember we had many conversations before about anything. And through the years, I’ve met her for real life! Still mind blown with that idea. I also wanted to meet our other friends from Manila back then but I never got the chance to visit there. And up to this day, I’m still hoping I could meet them sometime. One other friend is Xeph (engineerxeph). She’s one of the biggest reasons why I came back. Thank you Xeph! She really inspired me to do this.

As I went through the years, many somehow moved to blogger. And I kinda went with that. I rebranded again to ˆ’wanderlaska’. I blogged mainly there but I didn’t leave tumblr. I still post here and just linked the whole story to my own website. OH yes, I paid for a domain. 

And after like almost a year, I had to prepare for my board exams which meant, I couldn’t go on photoshoots or photowalks which meant I had to stop blogging. It took me awhile to get the title and my lifestyle changed in that year. I never got back to my blog. 

But here I am, gonna try again. I hope it’s gonna be a good journey.

[we-pay-for-everything]

Buffy, Angel, and Dawnie

@claddagh-and-key,

Happy birthday Mylie! Because you’re lovelier than our lovely Key, I’m writing this meta for you! It’s been a while so I’m a bit rusty, haha. 

We often talk about how Dawn “replaced” Angel’s role as Buffy’s soft spot, so I thought it would be interesting to discuss how Angel and Dawn actually fulfilled those roles in very different ways. 

Buffy’s journey with Angel was fairly straightforward. Angel challenged Buffy, revealed her more vulnerable and human side to the audience, and heightened the friction between Buffy the girl and Buffy the Slayer - forcing the latter to make some tough decisions. In the end though, Angel encouraged Buffy to keep her dreams alive, and narrowed the bridge between girl and slayer. 

In the latter seasons of BtVS, the show became more morally ambiguous, less structured and less consistent, and that makes Buffy and Dawn’s relationship particularly hard to analyse. The Gift presents a cool contrast between Angel and Dawn. As we grow older things look murky, choices get harder. There’s no right or wrong to cling to. Our decisions often vary between bad and worse. 

While Angel helped Buffy understand the nuances of life, perhaps his biggest contribution was teaching Buffy that you shouldn’t compromise on your duties, dreams, and ideals for love (which Buffy learned when she “killed” Angel, and in the events that led up to Angel’s departure from the show). 

But romantic love is different from family love. Killing Angel was the right thing to do, but killing Dawn wouldn’t have been. What Buffy needed in the high school seasons and in the latter seasons of the show are very different. As Buffy began to lose sense of the girl inside of her, and the balance between slayer and girl got disrupted, Dawn reminded Buffy of her humanity. With Angel, Buffy learned to be a slayer, and with Dawn, Buffy remembered she was a person first.  

Did Dawn play a real role in helping Buffy retain her humanity in season 6? You could argue yes, based on Grave in particular. Buffy leaned on her sister, on her humanity, on life. What about season 7? If season 2 taught Buffy to be a slayer, and season 5 to not forget to be a human, what did season 7 teach Buffy? To be a slayer who would kill her sister to save everyone? How did Dawn help a Buffy so out of touch with humanity and herself in season 7? How was the balance between girl and slayer restored? 

I’d say it wasn’t. The biggest failure of season 7 was not letting Buffy regain her identity. The show ended with Buffy succeeding as a slayer who was finally able to move on with her life. But that was an easy way out for the writers. The bigger issue wasn’t resolved. Buffy still didn’t know how to love herself and accept her duties. The Buffy who said she would kill Dawn if she had to wasn’t the Buffy we know. That Buffy certainly looked at herself in the mirror and saw someone else. 

While Buffy and Dawn’s relationship was precious, on a deeper level Dawn failed as Buffy’s humanity. You can loosely say Buffy came full circle with Angel in Chosen, basking in the light Angel dreamed for her. But there was no such conclusion with Dawn. Buffy and Dawn’s story is unfinished, probably because the writers lost sight of what Dawn was supposed to represent to Buffy, and of who Buffy was at her core - just a girl. 

Please excuse the failures of this meta. I know I didn’t truly trace the differences between Angel and Dawn - blame it on my lack of knowledge of the latter BtVS seasons! Anyway... HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MYLIE! I know you love Dawn, and I wanted to write positively about Dawn, but the writers really messed up the show, haha. It was not Dawn’s fault though! I hope you have a very cool day! I’m always here if you need me, even when I’m absent from tumblr. 

[mamagabi-s-corner]

because tumblr is ass, I have to redo the ask uuu

@sweetsugarystars​ asked about zai-ro

me @/ Zai-Ro

ok jokes aside, no one will know that this dude’s name was actually Deceit before I fleshed him out into a stand-alone character.. 18-19 year old me was a cringy ass crappypasta baby who liked the concept of zalgo (previous persona was a mutant™) and Deceit was like.. a part of said persona™

trigger warnings for rape, abuse and manipulation. Maybe more shit, but I’ll try and keep my shit tagged as much as possible. Keep in mind, the Pretender story is a dark one, not safe for kiddos nor for anyone sensitive to such. god I will eventually start working on it as soon as I finish Borderline which.. I hope in a year or 2 I can finish it so I can fuck off in peace haha. THINGS THAT ARE WRITTEN IN HERE ARE THE THINGS I DO NOT CONDONE IN THE REAL WORLD!!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DON’T SAY I CONDONE IT, I ACTUALLY DON’T I JUST WRITE IT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PLOT DEVELOPMENT AND TO EXPLORE SAID SENSITIVE TOPICS TO SEE HOW FAR I CAN PROGRESS THE STORY!!

anyways. when zai zai was fleshed out. he

-was suppose to be the antagonist of the Pretender story (dude was to object against Starna being the 7th satan and would do anything in his power to make it not happen) -the main enemy of the Shnibas (i.e. his relationship with Mei was abusive, as he was the perpetrator) -actually tortured Starna to the point of giving her some real ass ptsd there.

but all that went to shit because I felt like zai just didn’t fit that narrative, not to mention the execution looked wack (I was still a budding writer so I had no idea what I was doing); so I decided to see what potential I can weed out of him. Sure enough, I bit off more than I could chew, and now you have a mentally crippled Lust Demon who drank way too much respect women energy drinks. I did keep at least one aspect to him, being that he CAN AND WILL use his status as the Satan of Lust and pull a r/maliciouscompliance on those who dare abuse Starna, or not even help her because she’s an aborted child.

So basically his story is a shellnut of development hell which turned into him being an actual victim of abuse, seeing as that there aren’t many written male characters who are abuse victims/survivors.

Poor guy was a rape child of an existing aborted child who was kept in obscurity by the former Satan of Lust (Zai’s father), gave birth to him at an unripe age of 16 which was thought to be impossible because aborted children aren’t able to reproduce until they ‘evolve’ (rumor has it that at a certain age aborted children will become full fledged demons.. but their life expectancy is up to 16). anyways I think I remember telling you about the horrible treatment his mother went through (being mostly a sex-slave rather than a ‘wife’ of the Lust Demon at such a young age, wore really suggestive outfits that revealed most skin, and was generally shunned for being an aborted child), it gets worse when zai-ro goes through the same thing she does, despite her objections; but her voice never mattered as she was always silenced. Of course, when the whole thing blew over and Zai began to craft statues as a way to cope, it would always be of his mother, but she would always be clad in nice dresses that covered her overly exposed skin. I think I showed you that one image I drew of zai’s mother (with some parts of the arms missing) Zai gets the horns from his mother lel. anyways that other part will be explained in a few. (anyways I can’t find a coherent version of the spoiliops so have this video)

(picture is the concept image drawn 2 years ago for zai-ro’s rose garden, with his mother’s statue in the middle)

What I did change (from the aforementioned aspects earlier), was that Mei and Zai WERE in a relationship, but it’s actually Mei who’s the one who manipulated him without much regard nor awareness. He depended on her and actually felt love for the first time, but was not aware that her love towards him was.. empty.. let alone conditional. When he learned of that discovery, he felt betrayed by her and actually went against her, eventually leading into a serious bloody conflict between the two. Both of them barely got out unscathed and kept their distance from each other, no one won that day. Zai-Ro of course suffered the most and as a result he hid himself in his own rose garden; the prolonged isolation caused him to have a ptsd like hallucination where his mother, hovered over him, verbally abusing him, saying how she should have killed him when she had the chance, how he reminds her of his father, technically his brain being a piece of shit. He took it out on the statue, damaging the arms in the process. When he realized what he had done, it was too late. That statue still remains in the rose garden as a grim reminder of his own consequence. Mei of course was hurt and grew such resentment towards him, that she wouldn’t even acknowledge his presence at all. neither did zai-ro but yea, it drove other Satans insane, but they couldn’t do much because they had no idea what happened between the two.

until several hundred years later when she began having vivid dreams of a particular event which changed her life forever - she was a witness. To what? She bore witness to Zai’s father’s concubines having sex with a young teenage Zai-Ro. She remembered hearing him beg them to stop and cried, often resulting in her waking up in tears.. The biggest kicker is a nightmare where the same teenager looms over the corpses of the once concubines who raped him on a daily basis. When he became the Satan of Lust, the first thing he did was kill all his father’s concubines, sparing no one, and again. Mei, was the witness.

she lamented on the past and eventually realized why he lashed out at her in the first place. She never took pity on him, she never showed any regard towards his feelings, or at least pretended to; her love wasn’t even love. It was pure manipulation, something that sadly runs in the clan (Shniba clan is notorious for being manipulative, especially towards their significant others… the only exception would be Akako who actually showed love towards Sha-Mi. If she hadn’t and manipulated him the entire time, she wouldn’t be seen in the drawings up on the wall in the domain of the shniba clan, she would be fucking around like the rest of the sisters and brothers (implying she too manipulated her victims into getting what she wants, but when she met Sha-Mi, she stopped and eventually settled down with him, even giving birth to Mei and her older sister (brother at the time)) With manipulation tactics running in the family, it’s up to you to figure out a way to put an end to it.

In other words, Mei is the perpetrator in this story, Mei is the woman who abused her partner to the point he depended on her, she LEECHED off his love for her and got what she wanted. When she realized that, she began to hate herself for it, and eventually distanced herself from her clan (the remaining shnibas alive are herself, her daughter and her sister, her mother is in a death bed while the rest of them were killed in the war against the former Satan of Lust, literally reduced to ash while akako’s body was preserved), and out of her own volition, tries to find a way to grow out of that behavior not just for the sake of others, but for herself. Now the biggest question is whether Zai forgives her or not.. It’s up to him to decide that. Maybe with Clem’s help something might happen, who knows.

[dabatcavebyhonie]

Marvel's Runaways- an example of a BAD idea

So imagine you wanted to a great comic book show. You buy a great cheap comic so you break the bank. But then you feel the pressure to have your loved characters appeal to a more modern audience. But there is a rift between the movie universe and the TV universe. So now you are left with a half baked story filled with holes and it is almost unrecognizable to the comics. Let us also not forget their horrible idea of re-writing the perspectives for the mass audiences. This is how you get the "cringy" monster that is the Hulu's adaptation of Runaways.

The first thing you must understand before tackling Runaways is that this Marvel property is heavily ingrained into the Marvel universe. In fact, one character from the comic book cast is the son of Ultron. Ultron, who MCU wrote off as someone short series of events.  Then that means that most of the events that occur in the comics become void. This leads to a rewriting of the events that occur in the TV show.

I broke the aspects of this ongoing show into three parts : Angst- the teen and the parent, stereotypes- I promise we're different,  dialogue- Who am I?

“I had choosen the path of the black sheep rather than that of the unicorns and puppies.”

― Magenta Periwinkle, Cutting Class

Angst- The teen and the parent 

     When you are first introduced to the nouveau-rich families of PRIDE  you see  parents with a wide range of jobs. This includes tech mongers, bio-chemists, and even spiritual leaders. By each family you see various color schemes graced across the screen. I assumed this TV show would be promising. Until you meet the children. I first became frustrated by the dynamics of the children. They're all stereotypes written out of a high school rom-com. At least for shows that Have stereotypes like  Daria you understand they're there to be unrealistic and mellow-dramatic. However this idea isn't valid for Runaways. The show is supposed to be relatable and fanciful at the same time. They're also not stereotypes in the graphic novel they're just themselves. This adds angst to the angst . Which this edgy behavior is supposed to replace the depth in their character. Take the biggest example of this: Nico. Her stereotype is that she's a goth so she's mean and does witchcraft and always cries about dead sister. Then in the later seasons she's hopelessly devoted to Karolina and this is supposed to add depth to her one dimensional personality.Her senitive love for Karolina is supposed to add depth- I just...No,no, no, UGH, Stop, please. I  can't with her. The big thing that makes her DEEP is that she's actually sensitive and gay. They use queer-bating to have her be more appealing. Then her stereotypical goth-ness solidifies the Goth norm-perception, it says,"Yes all goths are this way. They're all tortured and filled with teenage melodramatic behavior.".Her Wicca worship is another Goth stereotype. As a goth myself I do not condone the stereotypes that aren't accurate. I wish her character was more inspired like Abby from NCIS. The actor wantesd the  character to be more authentic and not just a stereotype like numerous other shows have.   Just no. Every time she slams her door a front of her mother's face or steals her mother's staff I'm just dumbfounded.   

   Karolina is the church girl stereotype. She waltzes across your screen in all white and reads Her bible-I-mean-her-religious-texts-that-don't-sound-like-Christianity-at-all. Then when she's tempted by the flesh of the witch! Oh no will they, Won't they? Spoiler alert: They will as we assumed with horrible LGBTQ+ characters as always. Her depth is her love for Nico. To the amount that her dreams while she's trapped in the first two episiodes of season three was her wedding with Nico. Granted it was goregous but her love is her character depth which is dissapointing since their relationship ends in season three.  They're both always moody and mad at each other but it's fine they love each other even though they only give each other a few pecks once in a while. Like don't make the mass audience mad cause we can't have too much gay! HAHA! For me it's less for the LGBTQ+ masses or to show representation it's written to sound and look pretty for the male gaze but hey! 

That's just me spreading my SJW bias like Gert does 24/4! Like is there an off button. Introducing the liberal complete with crippling anxiety and even "NO! I can't love a Lacrosse Jock! I hate the Patriarchy!". While no one shows up for her rally or her bakes sales she crushes over Chase who is rude to her. My father being heavily left-leaning said "Gert needs to go. Like she doesn't stop talking and ruins the show!". Like when I told him I was watching the new season he frantically asked why and asked if I was okay.

I'm getting off track. Anyway, The point is the only ones that love their family to start is Molly, Gertrude and Chase. But don't worry the only one that still loves her parents after is Molly (in some twisted way I guess Karolina.....ehhh). After seeing their parents kill a kid and shove them into a magical space tube instead of calling the police or rationally acting. They gain this amazing attribute called teenage angst. Except for Molly cause she doesn't get it. Granted the first season isn't that bad but the show only gets worse the farther you go into it. I especially have been carrying a special amount of disdain for season two. But I think that maybe the new season has promise since the teenage angst doesn't smell as bad so far but I'll give you guys an update on Tumblr. What was I saying ...So if you don't understand what I mean by the heavy angst take a new scene from season three when Dale (her dad) Has Gert hostage in their cottage. She goes on numerous rants on How much she hates him when like a year ago she was being somewhat rational by trying to think before she shouts and finger wag at her parents but now-speak your mind child! I find the teen vs. parent atmosphere.

However  This idea of teenage angst isn't unrealistic. But how general it is over every character is what makes the angst unrealistic. The original hesitation of Gert makes it feel more natural. Karolina's almost disregard to what they saw originally felt more real. The small responses from characters separates their personalities and makes season one much more entertaining.

Stereotypes- I promise we're different 

Now that you understand the edgy personality of the show as a whole let's move on to the content. You're introduced to a runaway teenager named Destiny she's mugged but "rescued" by the Church of Gibborim. Little do we realize these muggers were trying to save her. Six months later we're introduced to Alex Wilder, a stereotypical nerd, who loves coding. Nico Minoru the person Alex has a crush; her  sister died who was Alex's best friend, so now Nico's a goth. Okay, that's a lot. You then meet Gert, Chase and, Molly. Molly is younger then everyone else so she is disregarded when she tells everyone to become friends. Chase is a lacrosse jock but he's different cause he's smart I guess. Chase loves his family but his dad is emotionally abusive to him and his mom. It gives Chase a leader mentality and he tends to think he knows the right answer.

 Gert is a social justice warrior who tries to make her school a better place. But she's different cause she has anxiety. Tell me if my point isn't getting across, tell me. This show's "thing" is that everyone's a stereotypes but, they're different, I guess;Which would usually be fine if it wasn't apart of such a big intellectual property: Marvel. Granted when it comes to movies and TV I never said Marvel story-lines were ever complex but the shows always Go outside the prior assumptions, it's not all stereotypes. 

Take for instance, Agents of Shield.  Take Coulson who literally was resurrected fro the dead. He is hard and stern like he was depicted in the movies but we learn about his strife and how he worked alongside Nick to build S.H.I.E.L.D. to what it is. He has control issues so he has to adopt the mindset that Nick has. It's new and interesting to the MCU audience. Melinda May, is an Ace pilot and personally my favorite simply due to her character writing. Her divide between her reputation versus who she is. She's known as " The Calvary" after all. She has trauma from a mission that killed a civilian which leaves her emotionally scared. This isn't a new concept but seeing her grow and becoming better emotionally gives the audience connections to the characters.

 Every character is written with steady care and good character writing. We feel sad When Coulson dies yet again. We feel the inner turmoil Skye and May feel. The connection isn't there in these hollow stereotypes. The connection to the audience in Runaways is what's making the show stale. The TV show characters are pale imitations of the comic book characters. It's hurts the show in the long run.  

dialogue-Who am I?

The most important thing that makes this show salvageable is the dialogue. No, I don't only mean the words coming out their mouths but the story-line that's surprisingly controlled by the parents. The superficial cold teenagers that only show disdain towards their parents and easily toppled by their Parents beckoning and call. For instance in season 2, Chase betrays his whole team to have his family back after his dad dies. He thinks they'll lose so quickly when  he's left alone with them. You see their guard come down so quickly around their providers. Yet they can never forgive them. This is obvious in Alex's case. His hatred towards his parents lead him to the arms of his father's enemy become's angry when his mother retaliates and kills Darius, but is vexed when his father is calling him. Responds just by his mother threatens him from jail in season three. Why does Nico stop to talk to her Dad in season three, episode "Lord of Lies". I'm going  to keep watching just because of the dynamic of the kids and parents. Especially as the parents are inhabited by parasitic aliens it's changes this complex dynamic yet again. Along with Nico's inner turmoil involving her magic and the forces that are utilized with her staff headlines the dialogue and plot I love so much. I will continue to watch as this tale unfolds.

Conclusion: This show is complex recycling heap. I find it hard to watch and a grotesque figure I can't move away from. I find it a good surface level adaptation. I find it messy but it's not entirely predictable! I appreciate how invested the actors are in their characters! I hope to continue watching the show to see how  the plot moves.  

[the-last-airbadger]

My 2018

It’s time for my annual evening of reflection everybody! The moment you’ve all been waiting for! It feels kinda weird to make a post like this because I feel like I haven’t done this kind of thing in ages, but it’s tradition and I like making these, so I’ve got last year’s post right with me and I’m ready for some reflection!

The Beginning of 2018 vs. Now Honestly, I don’t really remember much from the beginning of the year? I just know that I was working as a postman back then and that’s basically all I did during that period. It was cold outside, I disliked my job and I was unsure of which subject to pick to study in university. I also had some pretty bad dysphoria days around like... march? I don’t really remember. It wasn’t all bad though, I already felt a lot better than the year before and I was optimistic that it would get even better in the future. 

Best things about 2018 The very best thing to happen this year was my top-surgery. I’d been waiting for the moment I got my surgery for more than 2 years and the dysphoria became increasingly harder to deal with. On top of that I was constantly scared that something would happen that would cancel or delay my surgery. Not being able to get surgery was my #1 fear. Now, I finally can put that all behind me. I’m not fully healed yet, I still need to wear stickers to make my scars less visible, but I haven’t felt any dysphoria since my surgery. I’ve honestly never been this happy with my body. I’m still not perfect and still waiting for some testosterone changes (hurry up beard) but apart from that I am actually.... done... with my transition... whoah

The second best thing of the year was starting university. I honestly love going to school everyday, and I’ve already made a lot of new friends. I even don’t hate doing the homework, and I’m actually motivated to work hard and succeed. University has made my life so much better and I honestly haven’t been this happy since 2015. Bless uni.

Another thing that comes to mind (or things, really) is all the people I saw live this year. I saw Paramore in january, Markiplier in feburary, Evanescence in march, Dan and Phil, Ed Sheeran AND Queen in june, Jacksepticeye (for the second time) in October and Maria Mena (also for the second time) in December and every single one of those events was amazing. I crossed a lot of things of my bucketlist this year haha. Now all I need is to see my favourite kpop groups live (but I’m going to Day6 next month so I have high expectations)

There were more good things this year but they were mostly minor things. SHINee released some amazing music, LOONA debuted, I got into Stray Kids and Seventeen, discovered lots of great music, I (finally) quit my acting class after nailing the main part in our last performance, and I got my driver’s licence. I started driving lessons is Feburary, then had my first exam in june, failed it, took a small break, started again in october and finally got my licence in november. I hated those lessons with all my heart and they really depressed me, so when I finally passed and got my licence, I threw the biggest party lmao

My resolutions for 2018? So here it is, the moment of truth. I don’t even remember last years resolutions and I purposely didn’t look them up so this would all be a fresh new surprise. I always love looking back at these. That’s like 90% of the fun of making them

finally decide what to study - I’m studying English language and literature in Leiden right now and I have tests next week haha

Get Top-Surgery - Did That. Hell yeah

Write at least 100 pages of a story - I have written a little more than the previous year, but I still don’t think it’s more than 10 pages... that’s dissappointing.

Accomplish my reading challenge on goodreads - ...another fail. But! I read 24/35 books this year and that’s already 2 more than last year so there’s progress. We’ll get there eventually.

Start University - You already know the answer to that

Make new friends - Did that too! I’ve got a group of friends from university and they’re awesome

Quit my acting classes - Another success!

Learn how to drive - Even got my license ;)

Improve my drawing skills (maybe make a comic?) - Hmm I didn’t really draw much this year, and I definately didn’t make a comic, but I still think my art has improved slightly so that’s kind of a win?

Reach 300 followers on tumblr - BOI. DEFINATELY DID THAT. I’ve got 812 followers as I’m typing this right now.

Get more than 20 subs on Youtube and consistently create content for my channel - I’ve got 27 subs right now, and I’ve posted every single week. I was only late like once or twice in a whole year. I think I can call that a success.

Learn Divenire on the Piano - Ouch... still only know half the song. That’s a failure.

Dye my hair - Sadly, didn’t do that either. Hopefully next year

Continue to shower every day - I think I only skipped like 5 days in total so I’d call that a success too.

Start working out/exercising regularly - ...fail

Get new glasses - Success!

Expectations for 2019 Oh, I haven’t really thought about this. I kinda just expect a year of going to university and living an average but calm year. I know I’ll have 3 weeks off in january, in which I plan on reading a lot of books and just chill.  I’ll also go and see Day6 live in january (I’m so excited holy shit), and then in febuary my mom will move, so I’ll get a new house. Then I’ll probably pass my first year at university and start my second year. And that’s about it. Oh, and I’ll probably go on holiday to Sweden in the summer, but there isn’t much else I expect. I just expect a chill and happy year to be honest. It would also be great if I got a boyfriend/girlfriend but that’s more a wish than an expectation lol

2019 Resolutions?

Dye my hair (let’s give that another go shall we)\

Get a good haircut

Get a tattoo

Move out of my parent’s house (that’s a bold one)

Accomplish my reading challenge on Goodreads (I really want to accomplish that 35 books goal, it’s starting to haunt me)

Get tickets for A.C.E.’s concert

Get swol 

Communicate more with the people around me

Don’t let other people’s opinions shape my actions

Pass my first year at uni

Go swimming (I haven’t done that in 3 years)

Grow a beard (plz universe)

Learn how to make flipbooks (it looks really cool)

Learn how to knit (I really wanna make my own sweaters)

Read books on storytelling and learn more about how to tell a story

Develop my story more

Write at least 100 pages

Spend more time with my friends, both new friends and old friends

I think that’s it for this evening. I hope this was somewhat enjoyable to read, and I wish all of you an amazing and happy 2019!