#because I haven't got the brain to create my own fiction

[laurasimonsdaughter]

A supernatural wife never stays…

I’m always extra fascinated by folklore tropes that show up in a wide variety of cultures, so let’s look at another one: the supernatural/inhuman wife. These are usually stories about a man winning himself a wife that is decidedly not human, either through trickery or courtship. But it never lasts, because these stories all seem to have the same ending, the wife leaves:

Almost all selkie stories, both from Celtic and Nordic tradition, are an example of this. A man steals a selkie’s pelt and thereby binds him to her or leaves her stranded on land and in her desperation persuades her to come back with him and become his wife. After many years and many children she always finds her pelt, however, and as soon as she does she runs off to the sea. In most cases it turns out she has a husband and children in the sea too. In most she keeps leaving presents for her children and in some she still feels affection for her human husband, but she never goes back ashore. There are similar tales about swan-maidens.

An Aboriginal story from the Guugu Yimithirr-speaking people called “The forest spirit and his ten beautiful daughters” tells how the great hunter and warrior Gabul, the Carpet Snake, goes to the mountaintop where the powerful Forest Spirit, lives. He bests him in an unarmed fight, demanding to marry one of his daughters as reward before he will let him go. He takes the most beautiful of the ten daughters home to be his wife but starts worrying when she does not eat or drink. Eventually he takes her to the river and there she promptly turns into a fish and swims upstream back to her father’s mountain, leaving Gabul ashamed and broken-hearted.

There are also stories about fairy wives, most notably two from Wales. One, collected as “The Shepherd of Myddvai”, has a shepherd courts a beautiful maiden that dwells in a lake by bringing her bread. She agrees to go with him if he promises not to strike her three times without cause. Of course he promises this, but he taps her once for dallying to spur her into action, once in confusion when she weeps at a happy wedding, and once in disapproval when she laughs at a sober funeral. She declares their marriage ended and flees back to her lake, only returning once her sons are grown to give them gifts of healing. In the similar tale “Touched by Iron” a farmer’s son falls in love with a fairy maiden and the promise he must make her father is to never touch her with iron. One day as he helps his wife off her horse, she is touched on the knee by the stirrup of the saddle and vanishes. But with her mother’s help she does get to visit him sometimes afterwards, by standing on a large floating turf on a lake, so it could not be said she had set foot on human earth.

In a Chinese story called “The Painter”, from the 9th century bundle Wenqi lu, a learned man buys a screen with a painting of an inhumanly beautiful woman on it. The painter tells him of a ritual that might bring the woman to life and the man manages to call her to him. She steps out of the painting and consents to stay with him, they even have a son together. When the child is two years old, however, the man speaks with a friend of his, who immediately suspects the woman of being a dangerous creature and gives him a celestial weapon to kill her. As soon as he arrives home, his companion sobs that she is a mountain spirit who never asked to be painted by the painter and never asked to be called by him. She steps back into the painting, taking her child with her, leaving the man alone with a beautifully painted screen that now shows both her and the little boy.

[bramble-scramble]

Bramble’s Fanfic Collection

Hi friends!! I’ve been wanting to do this for a while: since I don’t, as of yet, post my work on AO3 or anywhere else besides here, I wanted to get together a collection of my writing. I will keep this post current, so if you are looking at this from a reblog, be aware that it might not be up to date unless you visit the original post!

This isn’t everything I’ve written in my life, of course, but it’s everything that lives here. I have much older stuff that I might port over here gradually if I decide I’m still happy with it. 

Nothing I write is too explicit, but it sometimes may deal with body horror, injury, death, and distressing themes such as depression and suicidal ideation. Content warnings are given on individual posts.

Fanfics are collected into general fandom categories below. Thanks to anyone who’s ever read, commented on and enjoyed my work!

Super Mario RPG

I first played SMRPG over half of my lifetime ago, but it never really captured my imagination until the remake came out. Being older, I felt like I was in a better spot to appreciate some of its more subtle themes, and became enamored with the Smithy Gang in particular. I haven't written all that much yet, but I'd like to do more.

The Forging - A Spear is born.

Smithy Gang Headcanons - My personal timeline and background from which I hope to eventually build more ideas.

Mack/Claymorton Headcanons

Mario + Rabbids

This is the fandom that brought me back to tumblr and got me to stick around, and also got me writing on my own again after ages of drought. Years ago I would have never believed that rabbids would get me to write so much, but here I am, and I’m grateful for it!

Most of these so far are about Woodrow and Palette Prime more generally, because that’s where my brain lives, and the catastrophe poet is very special to my heart. I’ll eventually branch out more though, I swear.

I write a bunch of Phandrow (Phantom x Woodrow) stuff specifically; it started out with me trying to justify a crackship to my own brain and then whoops! I became obsessed

Of Verses and Curses 

My magnum opus of fanfics, as of yet, and the longest work of fiction I have written independently in my life, this is a story of finding the person who loves you even if your passion in life seems to only bring failure and misfortune. It’s a deeply personal story built off a lot of my own feelings and struggles. It’s also a story about two gay rabbids who have never canonically met. [Phantom x Woodrow, also includes plenty of Dryad x Sweetlopek] 

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Epilogue

Music of the Night

The dark inverse to Of Verses and Curses, set in the Sparks of Despair AU created by @pastelprince18​, this is a far more upsetting tale of doomed love and unhappy endings. There is a monster at the end of this book.

(Body horror warning, especially at the end, so just be aware before you get invested.)

Chapter One - In Sleep He Sang to Me

Chapter Two - Do I Dream Again?

Chapter Three - Our Strange Duet

Chapter Four - To Glance Behind

Chapter Five - Those Who Have Seen Your Face

Chapter Six - Where Night is Blind

Chapter Seven - Angel of Music

Other Woodrow or Phandrow stuff

Bwahstrella’s Warning - an exploration of what might happen when you push the galaxy’s own disaster poet to the heights or the depths of his passion. [Phantom x Woodrow]

Poetry Slammed - Sweetlopek’s perspective of a certain boat incident. [Sweetlopek and Woodrow, platonic]

Happy Phandrow Things - not really a fanfic so much as a collection of thoughts/headcanons but they make me happy so they’re going here, gosh darnit!

The Eulogist - Woodrow necromancer AU. Not sure I need to say more than that. [character death and slight body horror warning]

Wolf of the Woods - An exploration of a Werewolf Woodrow AU! While not much in itself, people liked it; not only did it spearhead a lot of fun discussion/art, but it’s pretty much what got me writing again and therefore led to EVERYTHING above!

Unmerged - Not really a fic, but an exploration of an idea that makes me too sad to think about too much D:

An Appeal to the Heavens - In a time long past, a poor poet makes a desperate plea to the god he yearns to serve.

Pocket Poet, Part 1 | Part 2 - my one exploration of the Borrower AU: tiny Woodrow experiences the theatrical world of his lover, up close and personal.

Non-Woodrow Stuff (wtf, it DOES exist)

Something from Nothing - before we really knew what the Tower of Doooom was about, we had thoughts. Unhappy thoughts. [featuring Spawny and extra-evil Phantom]

M+R Timeline Analysis - Not a fic, but some background on how I view this universe.

Tools of the Traitors - A mini Super Paper Mario crossover between Kanya and Dimentio.

The High Seas AU

Sirens and Soliloquys - a pirate poet who bears a curse in secret is tempted by a siren's song, and gets more than he could have possibly imagined as a result.

Further worldbuilding and character background ideas for the AU!

Sea Legs - just a little more Phandrow silly sweetness

The Vampire [Phanpire?] AU

A Phandrow-centric AU that really speaks for itself, collaboratively created. Usually Phantom is the vampire and Woodrow his willing prey, but sometimes the roles are reversed, sometimes the ""victim"" is Prima Donna (Phantom's drag persona), sometimes they're both vampires- look, we like to have fun here.

As a general warning, pretty much anything in this collection will deal with blood and mild injury.

A Bite for Good Luck - my starting point for this AU, and its companion piece from Tom's perspective.

Burning Like The Sunrise - a little prequel to the above. A tale of passion at first bite.

One Paw in the Grave - Woodrow learns just how vulnerable a vampire can be.

Bat's Eye View - A vampire shows his beloved the world as he sees it.

Batsong - Lord Phan runs into misfortune; but thankfully, it's only of a rather amusing kind.

Various Vampire Phandrow Ideas: A Duet | The Lord's Protection | Thoughts on Sleep | Something More Than Blood | Nothing Wasted | Paeans to Prima Donna | Sacred Anatomy

Donkey Kong/Banjo-Kazooie/Rare-Playtonic Universe

A Donkey Kong’s World - this is a narrative record of the homebrew D&D campaign I was in, and includes elements from all of the things mentioned above, as well as Sea of Thieves and the Mario series. I’m including it here because not only was I involved as one of the characters, but I actually novelized most of the whole story (taking over from our DM who did the first few chapters) based on our session recordings. It was an extremely special experience for me, and is quite a long read, but if you’re a big fan of any of these franchises I think you might enjoy coming along with us. [Link is external and goes to the forum where the story is hosted.]

Mario and Luigi: Superstar Saga (+ Bowser’s Minions)

These are years old, from before my tumblr hiatus, so they may not be quite up to my current standards... but I still like them.

Anamnesis - While Popple and Rookie plan their biggest heist yet, Rookie tries to remember who he is... and almost does.

Wallflower - In the quiet moments, Captain Shy Guy realizes just how much he cares about that silly Goomba... [Captain Shy Guy x Captain Goomba]

The Stolen Birthday - a little headcanon for a Popple backstory.

That’s all for now!!

[mywitchcultblr]

"I dont support it in real life!"

Then why write about it? If for coping purposes, why post it online for others (especially actual predators) to see and consume? Then why portray those things in a positive light instead of condemning them?And you're seriously going to tell me that just because as an adult you want to see a fictional minor (that mind you, is usually designed to resemble an actual child) depicted in sexual situations doesn't mean you don't share that same view concerning children in real life? You find fictional minors attractive but not real ones? Why does the line between finding someone who is (and usually also looks like) a child sexually attractive get drawn at whether the child is real or not? I'm not calling anyone pedophiles, but if the shoe fits... And also no, I am not talking about 18 y/os finding 17 y/os attractive. Use your brain. Creating content of underaged characters is still questionable regardless of age, however.

My man I haven't even been active for a while and doesn't post anything or reblog other than shit post. Also you inserted points about loli content it seems. I never talk about loli and shota. I don't see the appeal myself but I would rather scroll down and filter the content for my own comfort than picking a pointless waste of time fight with people...

The ONLY thing lately that I post that got to do with survivors using fandom to cope is my support for abuse survivors who likes ascended Astarion. Are you using the straw man argument of "what about children" to shit on them???

"why write about it." If a survivor wanted to write something for coping it is VALID. "Why post it where people can see?" Tags exist my man, you filter your own homepage content.

Also when did I talk about minors in media?

Yeah people like you would just go immediately saying "you like minors are you? You are a pedophile" to someone who doesn't have any interest to harass people and accuse them of doing IRL harm with no proof because using "what about children?" Argument is an effective way to get people behind your outrage. Because if people doesn't immediately jump into the ban wagon they are afraid that they'll be falsely accused as a pedo as well...

If this ask is over ascendant astarion, you are stupid for keep picking a fight with the fans and accuse them of supporting abuse. If this pro ship vs anti ship thing please go outside, losing your mind over shipping is DUMB as well

Sorry I'm not a loser who spend my time online on Twitter or Tumblr or TikTok policing people over anime girls tits or whatever. I have a life

[goldieclaws]

Yet another art summary for the year! :>

I certainly did do a lot this year and have been very busy with not just my art, but also my many projects because my brain doesn't have an off switch lol. As a few bullet points, here's what I got up to this year:

✨ I started posting updates for my comic: The Mountain's Song. However, due to feeling pressured to post it before I had a sufficiently long backlog (ironically, this was not because of the 'webcomics are a BUSINESS, not a hobby anymore' view people have, but different matters), I decided to go on an indefinite hiatus until my willpower returned. Compared to my energy at the start of the year, I do feel better now and I do hope to continue working on it at some point in the new year perhaps.

✨ In the meantime, I have been working on another comic: Prelude, which focuses on a cast of characters I have had for 10 years or so. This comic is for now Patreon-exclusive and one I work on in my own time as currently, it's primarily for me than a wider audience. I'm sure anyone else would prioritise a story they've had in their head for so many years haha.

✨ I also uploaded my first ever short story to itch.io and Amazon: Daughter of the Sea! I even have a physical copy of it and I couldn't be happier! I most certainly hope to one day fill my bookshelf with future works of fiction by yours truly.

✨ I also took part in various game jams this year: two O2A2 jams (Only One of Any Asset) and the Annual Spooktober Visual Novel Jam, using the latter to create A Great Hunger, which I am very proud of as a product made by only myself and in the span of one month. Additionally, I also took part in this years' ArtFight! Something I haven't done for a long while (I can't even remember when I last took part but it could have been 2018 maybe? Don't quote me on that lmao)

✨ Finally, I also started writing two more books: Blue Bones and another that I hope to release early next year. It would have been finished by the end of this year, but thanks to my insufferable roommate seasonal depression, I wasn't able to do so. However, I am still very determined to see that book finished and on my bookshelf one day. I also started working on two Unity projects so that I could learn to code in C#; something I know could be very helpful in the industry. One game is a platformer about a young dragon: Apricot, going on an adventure to see their grandmother, whilst the second is a Vampire Survivors/horde survival inspired game that features characters from two of my main universes. I also hope to finish these projects next year if possible.

OK, that's it for me I guess! I'm very happy with what I have been able to accomplish and proving to myself that no I'm not lazy, I can work hard when I set my mind to it. Here's to another year of me finishing more projects and being able to share my hard work with the world :> 🥂💖✨

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #37

The candied orange peels are just about finished drying out! Behold!

As you might expect, they taste even better now that they're fully dried! I will put them in a container soon so I can share it with some friends on Sunday! I'm very excited!

I played a game called Terraria for the first time in a very long time today! It's a wonderful game in which you can build lots of cool things and fight various kinds of interesting enemies! I already have thousands of hours invested into this game, and it's one of my favorites, but I don't usually have anyone to play it with. Doing it by oneself is usually fine enough, but without someone to do it together with, it usually feels pretty dull and meaningless after a while. With the way my brain works, I have lots of trouble trying to find the meaning in building beautiful things if there's no one around to share it with.

I wonder if you've ever felt like this. Are there things that you haven't done in a long time that you would like to return to doing? Do you sometimes struggle to create things if you can't share the results with anyone? I know you can't answer me, but still I wonder.

In any case, I made a new friend from Germany yesterday, and as it turns out, she is familiar with Terraria, too! She hasn't played it in even longer than I have, so there have been a lot of updates since the last time she played. These updates introduced a variety of new enemies, items, and mechanics that she wasn't familiar with. But she's very smart, and she relearned what was familiar to her and adapted to the new mechanics very quickly! I was impressed! We gathered a lot of resources in order to build things, and she even dug a very deep hole all the way down to the Hell biome! Watching her patience and persistence in action was incredible!

Even better, she's a wonderful conversation partner, and we spent the entire time chatting and laughing about various things, from the politics in our countries, to random, silly topics. She even taught me some German words and phrases! I think my favorite one of those is one that I know about in English, but we don't have a specific word for - it is well-known in my world that sometimes, when you have a problem, and then you try to show it to someone, the problem mysteriously vanishes until you stop trying to show it to someone. In German, that phenomenon is called Vorführeffekt! It is a very good word, and you can bet your bottom that I'm going to incorporate it into my own vocabulary (even if I still have a little trouble trying to pronounce it, haha!)

I got enough resources today to build a house, but it has been so long since last I played that I almost forgot the typical style that I like to build in. This is a clumsier example of the houses I usually like to build, but that's okay - I'll show it to you anyway! Check it out!

My friend spoke about getting marble to build a whole castle with! It is time for her to go to bed, but at my house, it's still the middle of the evening; after I'm done writing this letter to you, I might wander around the world and try to find her some marble to build with; I literally cannot wait to see what she can do!! I'm so excited!

It's a relatively rare thing for me to make a new friend; most folks find me vaguely unsettling for a variety of reasons, haha! But that's all right; the rarity of this thing only makes it all the more meaningful when I find someone I seem to "click" with! I wonder how this interaction will unfold! In written conversation on previous occasions, she has said a variety of insightful things that shows her critical thinking skills and deep attunement to patterns and detail; I am very much looking forward to learning as much as I can by listening to her perspective on a variety of things as time goes on!

It seems like making new friends is a relatively rare thing for you, too, isn't it? But that's just the way it is sometimes for folks who are considered "unusual". And that's okay. This sort of thing is why us weirdos have to stick together. And it's a lot more fun that way, anyhow. After all, normal is kind of boring, isn't it? So let's make a promise to embrace our "weirdness" instead of wandering around, trying to pretend to be someone we're not. That sort of thing is exhausting anyhow, and we have better things to spend our time and energy on, don't we?

Stay safe out there, all right? Remember you are loved, and let that knowledge empower you to do brave and amazing things.

I'll write again soon.

Your friend, Lumine

[leighlew3]

Leigh, I'm so sorry to burden you with this, but I've followed you for a few years and witnessed how supportive you've been with SuperCorp fans and the shared disappointment with how the show ended, so I feel safe writing to you.

All the WLW shows getting cancelled fucking sucks. And it hurts. Not because I've necessarily been a big fan of them all, but simply because my voice and story, as a consumer and queer woman, doesn't feel valued.

When I heard Netflix cancelled Warrior Nun, I got angry, and I've been so ever since. It somehow hit different this time, and the cancellation doesn't make sense to me. I've loved the show since its first day on Netflix in 2020. I fell in love with the characters and the actors who portrayed them. I fell in love with the story they were telling and how it was told. Something about Warrior Nun just felt different to me.

Now it's almost 7 in the morning where I live, and I haven't been able to sleep. I was reading a Warrior Nun fic - as one does - and then all the feelings suddenly hit me. Angry turned into sad, and I feel sort of silly for admitting this, but I actually cried. I read somewhere that the brain can't differentiate real people from fictional ones, and I think I'm kind of mourning the loss of the characters 🤷🏻‍♀️ I've never felt this way before and I honestly don't know what to do about it. The whole situation just sucks.

Do you have any advice on how the consumers can be heard by big companies like Netflix and how we can get them to actually value their WLW shows?

Again, I'm sorry to lay this on you, but I don't really have anyone to talk to about this, and I'm just sick and tired of the situation and needed to rant.

(I appreciate you and wish you and your loved ones a happy new year)

It's not a burden at all, I'm glad you feel this is a safe space. 💜

Everything you're saying is relatable and valid as heck. When a show means the world to you, especially if you're part of a marginalized group and taking hit after hit after hit no less... it can be exhausting, infuriating, demoralizing, and so many other complicated emotions when you lose that art that struck you so deeply, that you related to, and that you looked forward to more of to get you through life.

To be honest, I feel like for the most part, fans are doing as best they can as far as efforts to keep shows around. There really are no more tangible specific solutions for fans aside from what's being done, and that's what's frustrating. The endless rewatches, fans doing street team style spreading the word on their own (even spending a lot of money) to make up for lack of official marketing, getting influencers and press behind them, etc. It's actually a sad state of affairs that in recent years, LGBTQ fans have WORK, and FIGHT and PUSH and even PAY constantly to keep a wlw show on the air or to try to get someone to make a ship canon after queerbaiting, or to get more screen time or respectful exploration for a wlw pairing, or to make TPTB see how bad the bury your gays trope is (time and again and again), etc -- rather than just sit back and watch and enjoy.

Fans shouldn't have to work so hard for entertainment, and yet queer fans so often do. And even when people successfully give a show solid numbers, sometimes it's still not enough, and like WN, a well-reviewed, heavily watched series gets the axe anyway.

So it's not on the fans. It's on those at the top, at the end of the day.

Alas, if I had to make some kind of a suggestion... all I can think to say is on the macro, bigger picture level. And this will take some self reflection and increased empathy for some people (sadly a thing some may not be capable of). But... collectively, some people in fandom spaces (small portions, but loud ones) for wlw shows have got to try to stop the silly fanon vs canon wars, and gatekeeping, and jealousies, and creating unnecessary drama and toxicity. There really should be no rival fandoms in wlw spaces at all, unless a show has a fully wlw love triangle or something and people are Team Ship 1 vs Team Ship 2, lol, but even still -- it should be a 'fun' battle, not a toxic war that hurts real people, drives away viewership, etc.

If most people in queer fandoms stuck together, and respected each other's ships even if they don't ship it or watch the show, and generally were supportive of each other as fellow queer fans in their battles against cancellations, in demanding queerbait to be made canon, fighting the BYG trope, etc -- LGBTQ fandoms would have such a collective, expanded power behind these positive efforts. And either way, even if all efforts fail to save a show, etc, at the very least, it would help create a safer, healthier space for queer fans online.

And I know, asking toxic people to not be toxic seems futile, but some people simply need to be reminded that we're all in this together and working together is always going to be ideal when facing off against the real opposition: corporate bias / phobia in the media / industry space.

Ultimately, it's 100% on TPTB at the shows and networks/streamers/studios to do better -- at times creatively, and other times as far as marketing efforts. Sometimes both.

But in the meantime, as far as fandom spaces, some LGBTQ fans gotta try to learn to stick together as much as possible. While there will ALWAYS be toxicity in every fandom from all backgrounds, and fans cannot control each other, I am noticing that as time goes on, and as more wlw fandoms get hurt by networks and streamers, the more angry people are understandably getting, the more reactive and protective of their shows and ships people are getting, and the more then they lash out and try to gatekeep and attack their fellow queer fans and allies, which is... just not it. It's counter productive.

Point is... fans are doing all they can IMO as far as tangible efforts to save (or fix) certain shows. And the rest is on the creatives, the networks and streamers, etc. But in the meantime, at the very least, people shouldn't attack true allies who have proven their support, nor especially attack fellow queer fans who just want to see what a show or ship is about or make positive parallels to their other faves, etc as it could be extra viewers for the show that they're running off.

TLDR: Stay focused on the real problem: corporate media's bias / phobia. Fight them collectively, not each other.

[lizziestudieshistory]

Mid Year Book Freak Out 2023

Thanks for tagging me @dauen! I was worried I wouldn't have enough answers this year as I've been more eclectic than usual with my reading, but I do 😅 And apologies for the frequent mention of le Guin, 2023 is the year of Ursula K. le Guin for me!

1. Best book you've read so far...

The Red and the Black by Stendhal

I was surprised when I was swept away by the second half of this book, it not only made me love the second volume but gave me a new appreciation of what Stendhal did in the first volume. I'm still thinking about The Red and the Black months later and it's a strong contender for my favourite book of the year.

However, there were two book I could have mentioned that were new reads for me, but I've gone with this as the other is...

2. Best sequel you've read so far...

The Tombs of Atuan by Ursula K. Le Guin

This did something to my brain, as much as I'm thinking about The Red and the Black, I'm obsessed with The Tombs of Atuan. The atmosphere, le Guin's writing, and Tenar came together to create an almost perfect (for me) story.

3. New release...

Tress of the Emerald Sea by Brandon Sanderson

By default... I've only read Tress so far - I didn't even particularly enjoy Tress 😬

4. Most anticipated release of the second half of the year...

Errm none? I've got no idea what's going on with new releases because I'm trying to clear my blacklist and physical tbr.

5.a. Biggest disappointment...

The Leviathan by Rosie Andrews or Howl's Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones

I've separated biggest disappointment and most hated this year because they really do belong in different categories (see 5.b). Both of these would've been great for someone else... I shouldn't have read The Leviathan as a specialist in 17th century, it ended up annoying me with it's blend of history and story. Howl's Moving Castle just isn't my cup of tea, it was a bit too whimsical and it rubbed me up the wrong way.

5.b. Most hated...

Witches: James I and the English Witch-Hunts by Tracy Borman

I've made no secret of how this one pissed me off with it's bad faith portrayal of James I and the witch-hunts in England. I was left seething when reading it, so it deserved it's own spot in a created category.

6. Biggest surprise...

The Poetry of Christina Rossetti

I'm typically not a poetry girl, and when I have read it I've tended to prefer epic and narrative poetry. So when I picked up a collection of Rossetti's poetry I expected to find it tedious... However, I loved exploring her poetry! I now how copies of my favourites in my commonplace book and she's inspired me to try more poetry in the future.

7. Favourite new author (debut or new to you)...

Ursula K. Le Guin

Without a doubt she is a new favourite. I've read so many essays and short stories, watched pretty much every speech she gave that I can, and, of course, been in awe as I've read through the first half of Earthsea.

8. Newest fictional crush/favourite character...

Ged from the Earthsea Cycle

I've spent far too long trying to think of a non-le Guin new favourite character... But it's definitely Ged.

9. A book that made you cry...

None!

10. A book that made you happy...

Emma by Jane Austen

Emma always makes me happy and it's the happiest I've been so far this year.

11. Favourite adaptation...

I haven't watched anything new 😅 I rewatched House of the Dragon which was better the second time around, and Emma 2020 is always a favourite - but I don't think they count.

12. Prettiest cover...

Ivanhoe by Sir Walter Scott

I haven't really bought that many pretty books as I've mainly shopped second hand this year... So, it's probably this vintage copy of Ivanhoe, but we have room for improvement!

13. A book/books you need before the end of the year...

Oh I have a stack, but some off the top of my head:

A Brightness Long Ago by Guy Gavriel Kay

Fugitive Prince by Janny Wurts

The Charterhouse of Parma by Stendhal (technically I started this, but I got distracted by other French novels... Oops)

Lady Audley's Secret by Mary Elizabeth Bradden

Silas Marner by George Eliot

Tagging: @oneanxiousstudybuddy and @dooareyastudy (I think you haven't been tagged yet but could have missed it, sorry if you have 😅)

[kulemii]

What’s your favorite movie that you saw in theaters this year? funny, suddenly i forgot any other movie i've seen this year but uhh saturday i went to see 'violent night' and it was bad but.. it did make me wanna do things to santa that'd put me on the naughty list😏 LISTEN SANTA HAD A MANBUN AND I CANNOT RESIST A BIG MAN WITH LONG HAIR

What do you usually wear? t-shirts and jeans or joggers. big tees and short shorts if i'm home.

How tall are you? 5’2"

What’s your Star Sign? Do you share a birthday with a celebrity or a historical event? cancer. will ferrell and nicky jones (the kid that played chowder) are my bday twins

Do you go by your name or a nick-name? nicknames usually because people act like people my real name is sooooo difficult. let's just say, it's in the -lisa family tree of names. i get called every variation but my own. it's five fucking letters bro- it's not that hard.

Did you grow up to become what you wanted to be when you were a child? hahahahahaha

Are you in a relationship? If not, who is your crush if you have one? yea but that doesn't mean i can't have crushes- what? and they're pretty much all fictional anyway so i'm pathetic lmao

What’s something you’re good at vs. something you’re bad at? i'm very good and doing a bad job at things! conversely, i am bad at doing a good job :)

Dogs or cats? cats.

If you draw/write, or create in any way, what’s your favorite picture/favorite line/favorite etc. from something you created this year? hmm, i haven't created much this year, i don't think. i haven't had much time but i think that super, suuuper self-indulgent aizawa fic, 'a cola flavored kiss' is my favorite this year especially with that comm i got recently!!! omg! but my all time favorite though? still 'kuro, shiro' (the nishiki project)

What’s something you would like to create content for? hm. i think i i would like to just.. get back to working diligently on my projects and putting stuff out on a regular schedule. but, no time :) my brain's been giving me the ideas at least so.. that's something.

What’s something you’re currently obsessed with? if you people thought i was obsessed with aizawa before, it's worse now that 'death of a legend' has taken a more solid form before my eyes and he's become a whole person to me. i wish you all could see it. he's beautiful. 🥰

What’s something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year? leaving my last job then the job before that 😅 baby, i'm not mad for jobs.

What’s a hidden talent of yours? hmm.. if i tell you then it won't be so hidden, now would it? checkmate, tumblr.

Are you religious? hahahahaha

What’s something you wish to have at this moment? time.

tagged by: watasemasaru, i dont wanna do a proper tag specifically because of how i answered that first one- don't wanna force you to read that lol tagging: anyone that wants to do it

[zitasaurusrex]

@ladyknightskye tagged me for a meme so oh shit we got PERSONAL INFORMATION here.

Name: Call me Zita. Some people on tumblr know my real name but I stroooongly prefer being Zita online.

Sign: Gemini, for whatever that's worth. Aquarius rising and moon, for whatever that's absolutely not worth.

Height: Taller than some, shorter than others. (I'd have to look at my license, I haven't kept track of my own height since I was in middle school.)

Birthday: It's in May!

Time: Hell if I know.

Fave band/artists: Some ones that turn up for me a lot are Nickel Creek, Joe Satriani, Vienna Teng, the Ballroom Thieves. My music habit has stagnated a lot.

Last movie: I was scrubbing through Nope to see what the monster looks like. If you want one I actually sat down for, Jurassic World Dominion.

Last show: I was sitting on the couch with the room mate while WWDITS was on, does that count?

When I created this blog: It's not my first tumblr, the first was in like… I wanna say '09? This one was from '11 I think.

When I post: Whenever the demons take possession of my awful little hands.

Last thing I googled: PDF of the AD&D 2e player's handbook. Sshhh. Tell no one.

Other blogs: @bloodgulchblog where I contain my Halo brain worms.

Do I get asks?: Very rarely. The Halo blog gets more because I have an actual topic over there.

Following: Ain't tellin'

Avg hours of sleep: 5 if I'm not lucky, 8 if I am

Instruments: Kalimba, lapsed violin player, was picking up ukulele but #apartmentlife happened.

What I'm wearing: Yesterday's work shirt, today's pajama pants.

Dream job: I've reached maximum cynicism and don't think I'm ever going to love a job. :\

Dream trip: Home to see my family and dogs, but nobody talks to me about work or "my career" the entire time.

Nationality: American

Favorite Song: I never know how to answer favorite song questions but I DO know what my favorite music video is so here's that.

3 Fictional Universes I'd Live In: Most of the things I like are absolutely not places to go live, but Pokemon would be pretty chill I think. Idk, Stardew Valley? And whatever magical christmasland my parents' generation believes in where I can afford to live, hard work pays off, and jobs are good.

[soulrph]

anon s again, if you have the time describe some of your favorite tropes of all time or that you might've seen recently (whatever way you wanna tell me, prompts dialogue or just word vomit) i'm taking a break from writing and may or may not be curious

it would be my pleasure!! gonna leave it under the readmore tho bc i. i got excited. and it's only two examples bc if i did more of them i'd never stop writing and reading!

okay, so for starters, this one usually gets a lot of criticism for the fact that, in the past, it's been historically written off as convenient to the plot. and i think they call it a deus ex machina, but i googled that, S, i googled it and i have to disagree bc when it's done properly, it's a thing of true BEAUTY! it's basically the trope where someone's about to get hurt or killed or whatever, and then someone else shows up and saves them before it happens. and recently i've been watching shows where this trope is done SO well! a solid example is when the darkling saves alina from the druskelle. it's written off as a basic "ah yes, she's the sun summoner, he's the general, it's important she survives to save the world". but the darkling's motives are later revealed as being far more insidious in nature, so his interest in saving her life isn't actually to save the world, it's to serve his own purposes.

( basically, if it's done correctly, it reveals details of the characters and their goals. the darkling wants alina to expand the fold, so he saves her life. similarly, inej and kaz are at massive odds because they disagree on whether or not alina is an actual genuine sun summoner, but they both become invested in keeping her alive because inej believes alina is a saint, and kaz believes alina can keep them all alive while in the fold. inej's faith and kaz's survival instincts are both reflected. )

okay that turned into an essay and !!! and i'm blanking now bc i'm not overly observant, i just react well to certain things and it never occurs to me that it's a pattern!

but recently i've been thinking a lot about stranger things, and more recent installations of the mcu where the decisions that are made by the characters aren't necessarily easy nor morally clear ones. and i really really love that stuff too! in particular, jane's choice in the season finale ( i don't wanna spoil it. it's been three months but jesus help me S i cannot bring myself to lend actual words to that in case anyone hasn't seen it! ) is one that carries immense weight, because it's a very difficult choice and very grey area that has ramifications that haven't even been considered yet.

also, eternals brought about another debate that's easier to take because it's fictional, but it's also not so far from comprehension, either. the group of eternals all end up debating whether or not to allow the emergence to take place. on one hand, the entity that emerges from earth will go on to create countless planets and species, and so is it really okay to sacrifice all of that for One Planet?? but the other argument is one that compels the entire movie and drives the plot; ajak literally dies over her insistence that earth carries immense power as a result of the last twenty years, that the people are spirited and strong and deserve to continue the lives they fought so passionately to have all along. in the end, of course, earth survives. but the arguments resonate. the days of purple aliens wanting to kill half the universe are gone. and now we have these more complex matters to debate. i think civil war attempted to have a debate going on too, but it's something spectacular when you leave the theatre wondering if you even know if they did the right thing or not!

i feel like that one mightn't necessarily be a trope, but that's okay! i definitely have more favorites but my brain is just blue screening tonight! so yeah, i'm much more invested in character development as opposed to plots lately. like a lot of people can get very caught up about plots, but i think the characters are vastly more interesting!

god, i rambled quite a bit! thank you for asking this question, my lovely friend!! what are your favorite tropes??

[stardewlily]

Chapter Thirteen of My Everlasting Light

A Stardew Valley fan fiction about the relationship between Sebastian and my farmer, Lily.

Synopsis: Sebastian enlists the help of Sam to create a beautiful gift for a distraught Lily

Cast: Original Female Character, Sebastian, Sam, Emily, Emily's Parrot

Contents: Established Relationship (Dating), Mental Health Issues, Friendship Dynamics, Love, Romance, Comfort

Warnings: None

A Garden for Lily

"So, when did you become such a pro at gardening?" Sam asked, mopping his brow and taking a moment to rest by leaning on his spade. It was a cloudy day but still quite hot and they were trying to plant out an entire flower garden after all.

"I didn't really," Seb said, carefully filling in around the roots of the dahlias he had just nestled into place. "But I have been picking Evelyn's brain for a good week now. I think she kind of enjoyed the chance to plan it all out actually."

"Pity you couldn't get that grandson of hers to come help with all the digging," Sam groaned as he started up his work again.

"Alex? Hah, he's too busy with his gridball training. He seems like an okay guy but I swear he's got muscles where his brains should be!"

"That's what I mean," Sam pulled a rock out of the ground and flung it aside. "We could use a guy like that right now."

"Well, I'm not exactly on good terms with him," Seb said with a wry smile. "I expect I'm just some weird emo to him. I don't think we've ever exchanged more than a handful of words in all the time I've lived here."

"Hah, just my luck I'm your best friend then," Sam grunted good naturedly. "I get to do all the hard work."

"I thought you were gonna ask Abby to come too?"

"Huh, well, not that she would have been much use, but her nose has been so far out of joint since I told her to back off you and Lily that I didn't think she'd really want to come over and help plant a garden for her."

"She's still not over that?" Seb lifted a weary eyebrow.

"Uh, dude… you haven't noticed that she hasn't visited you once since the flower dance?"

"To be honest I've just been enjoying the peace and quiet."

Sam snorted with laughter at that and stood up straight again, knocking the clogged dirt off his spade. "Yeah, I know she can be a bit much at times, must be all those teenage hormones! It would be nice if she'd finally get over it, though. I can't believe how long she's dragging this out." He grabbed two cans of cola from the nearby cooler and offered one to Seb who took it with a quick word of thanks and sat down cross legged to pop the tab.

"Ah, seriously, I know what you mean Sam, but I just don't have the headspace for her crap right now." He took a deep breath and looked up into the sky. "Lily's been so upset since that ex of hers turned up and all Abby's ever done is make her feel bad. I'm not particularly well disposed towards people like that right now."

"I hear you, man," Sam said, dropping to the ground beside his friend. "You'd think all this stuff with that Barry asshole would have softened her up a bit but she doesn't seem to care about anyone's feelings except her own. Hell, I've already told her a hundred times over that if she just gave Lily a chance she'd like her but she won't listen." He tapped the side of his can awkwardly, seeming to consider his next choice of words carefully. "Aaaanyway… I know you don't care right now, but she made me promise to tell you that she's thinking of leaving town soon, so if you want to say goodbye to her…"

Sebastian groaned and rubbed the cold can over his hot forehead. "For fuck's sake, seriously? Does she think I'm going to go rushing to her just because she's threatening to leave?"

"Probably," Sam frowned, cracking open his own can. "You know what a drama queen she can be sometimes. I think she has this dumb idea that if she acts like she's leaving you'll all of a sudden realise it's her you're in love with and leave Lily to dash to her side."

"Don't even say that as a joke," Seb exclaimed, eyes flashing. "Not now, not ever. There's no way in hell I'd ever leave my Lily, least of all for Abigail!"

Sam looked shocked at his outburst and lifted his hands in defence. "Woah, I know that dude. I'm just saying what's going through the crazy goth girl's mind, that's all!"

Seb heaved a deep sigh and looked down at his own hands, covered in dirt and bedding soil. It had been a long day's work so far.

"Sorry, Sam. I didn't mean to snap at you. I just… I'm really on edge these days."

"You really love her, don't you?"

"Yes," Seb said. He looked out at all the flowers they'd already planted. For her. All for her.

She'd been so brave this last week. Every day she fought her anxiety so hard it exhausted her and it hurt him to see her struggle so. After all she'd been through all he wanted to do was make her happy again and he'd been spending as much time with her as he possibly could but it never seemed like enough. He wanted to do more for her. So much more. Which was why he was making this garden. Something beautiful for her, something to make her smile and forget all her fears, even if just for a little while. Something to show her just how much he loved her.

"I do. She means everything to me."

"I envy you, man."

Seb stared at him in surprise. Sam's head hung low, his hands dangled loosely between his thighs. He'd never seen him look so serious.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm stoked for you, dude, I really am. But I envy you, too." A wistful smile played over his features. "When I see the way you look at Lily… well, I want that for myself, y'know?"

"I thought you and Penny…?"

"Nah," Sam laughed, finished his drink, crushed the can and tossed it into the bag they'd set aside for garbage. "It's nothing like you and Lily. What you two have is special, man. It's magic." He looked at his friend meaningfully. "Don't ever let it get away."

"I don't intend to," Seb said quietly, wondering if Sam somehow knew the crazy idea that had been taking root in his mind recently. He shook his head. No, there was no way he could know, he hadn't discussed it with anyone. Still, he'd never known his friend talk like this before.

"Come on," Sam pushed himself back up. "We'd better get on with this or they'll be back before we're done!"

Seb climbed to his feet too. "We'll be okay," he said, shaking off his momentary confusion and picking up the next tray of flowers. "I asked Emily to keep her busy till late evening."

"Heh, you're conspiring with everyone these days!"

"Gotta keep on Emily's good side, she's Lily's best friend, besides which, I need her help for the second part of this plan."

Sam laughed, attacking the ground with fresh vigour. "See, this is what I mean, I'd never go to this much trouble for Penny."

"You are going to this much trouble for me, though!"

"That's different," Sam said. "You're my bro, bro!"

The two young men high fived each other before turning back to their work in the rapidly expanding garden.

Lily smiled wanly as Emily emptied out her many bags on her sewing table and launched into excited chatter about the varied contents. They'd spent all day in Grampleton at the annual craft fair and Emily had been in her element, flitting from stall to stall like an excited and extremely colourful butterfly. Lily, on the other hand, had struggled constantly just to manage to not run away screaming. The incident with Barry was still far too fresh in her memory and every day felt like a battlefield to her at the moment. All the work she had done to cope with her anxiety since coming here felt like it had been undone in an instant and although logically she knew that wasn't the case and that if she just remained patient she would get better as more time passed, she felt nothing but relief to be back in the relative peace and safety of her friend's bedroom.

Relative because Emily's fervour was contagious and her parrot was soaking up the atmosphere, hopping from foot to foot on its perch and squawking loudly.

"Now shush, parrot," Emily tapped its beak. "You'll have Haley in here complaining at us if you carry on!"

"You really should give that parrot a name, Em," Lily said, forcing herself to smile more broadly. She knew she needed to fight to overcome this, she had been through so much to get to where she was now and she refused to go back to being the emotional wreck she used to be.

"I don't want to give him an identity crisis," Emily said seriously. "He already knows who he is. Who am I to rename him?"

Lily held up her hands in mock surrender. "I'm so glad I never had these issues with Nyx!"

"Ah well," Emily beamed. "Nyx is different, you're her momma after all!"

Lily laughed lightly and carefully rummaged through the materials Emily had brought back with her. "You have some really great pieces here, what are you going to do with them?"

Emily looked around after settling down her parrot, surreptitiously pulling aside one wrapped bundle. "Oh, I have some ideas…" she looked cautiously at her friend. Thank goodness she hadn't noticed. Seb would be so disappointed if she gave away that part of his plan.

She remembered what he'd said about keeping Lily busy as long as possible and glanced at the clock. She smiled, remembering the energy that had been coiling around him as he told her all his ideas. A beautiful mix of soft peaches, pinks and sunset reds. She'd give him a little longer, just so that everything could be perfect.

"Here," she pulled out a large sketchbook of her designs. "I'll show you some of them."

"Oh wow!" Lily exclaimed as she turned the pages. "These are all so lovely, I wish I could afford to commission you for another dress."

Emily smiled again. 'Ah, Sebastian,' she thought to herself. 'You're going to make Lily so happy with all of this.'

"Holy shit!" Sam thumped his spade into the ground and stood up, hands on hips, looking out over the garden they'd created. "Did we actually do all this?"

In the space of one day they'd turned a bare corner of the farm into a little terraced garden, complete with arbour, trellises and bench, all courtesy of Seb's mom, plus a tiny cobblestone path running through the grass they'd laid around the many flower beds.

"We did," Seb sighed. It had been a long day but worth it. He couldn't believe they'd actually managed it. It seemed like he'd been planning this forever and now, finally, it had all come together.

He turned to look at his friend in the fading evening light. "Thanks, Sam. I couldn't have done this without you. Any of this. You know, back at the house that time as well. Just… thanks…"

Sam slapped his friend on the back. "No worries. I got you, bro," he grinned. "Now, for Yoba's sake, let's go get cleaned up. I'm so filthy I can't stand it!"

Seb laughed and together the two of them slung their spades over their shoulders, gathered up their rubbish and headed back to the farmhouse.

By the time Lily arrived back at the farmhouse it was just starting to get dark and she was relieved to see the porch lights burning as she approached. She knew Seb would be there waiting for her, he always was these days, and she was eternally grateful for his constant, comforting presence, still too scared to spend her nights alone at the moment. Thankfully, she felt a little distracted from all that right now as she had passed Sam on her way home and he'd grinned so much when she asked what he and Seb had been up to all day that she was burning with curiosity despite her anxiety.

"Lily," she heard his rich, low voice as she approached and saw him standing in the doorway, holding a lantern in one hand. His pale skin glowed in the golden light, storm coloured eyes large and lustrous as he reached out to welcome her home, drawing her in with his free arm and kissing her gently.

"Sebby," she sighed softly as they momentarily broke apart. "I missed you so much." She reached out to touch his cheek and hair, letting her fingers trail through the silky waves, never tiring of the way he felt. She was so glad to be back with him again. Truly, the only time she felt safe these days was when she was in his arms.

"I missed you too, baby," he said with the sweet little smile he saved only for her. He kissed her again, for longer this time, pulling her closer with a sigh of his own.

"Come with me, Lily," he took her hand, eyes dancing with anticipation. "There's something I want to show you."

Curiosity flaring anew she let him lead her away from the farmhouse and out into the dark night, the warm light of the lantern casting a gently swaying beam in front of them. She felt a little bewildered as he led her away from the land she was currently working on. Where was he taking her? There was nothing down here but a narrow, tree lined path and some empty land that she planned on turning into a garden if and when she ever found the time.

She blinked in confusion, she could see lights ahead. What on earth was going on? She was sure there was nothing to see out here.

"Seb? Where are we going?"

He didn't say anything, just led her carefully down some small steps and under a pretty white arbour that she knew had definitely not been there when she left that morning.

"Oh!"

She lifted her hand to her mouth. More softly glowing lanterns lit up a small but beautiful garden, a seemingly endless variety of rich, colourful blooms nodding delicately in the night breeze, their scent drifting sweetly on the warm air. Wooden trellises lined the sides and a little bench nestled in the middle of a sea of lush grass, watering can sitting nearby, as though waiting for her to start tending the flowers.

She couldn't believe it. In just one day? He'd done all this? Was this what Sam had been grinning so excitedly about?

"Sebby," she looked up at him, tears pricking at the corners of her eyes. "You did all this… for me?"

He smiled nervously, placing his lamp by his feet. She could see a small flush forming on his cheeks. "Well, I had a lot of help from Sam, and my mom, and Evelyn." His flush grew brighter, his words faster, more apologetic. "I know it's not perfect, the climbers need more time to get established, some won't bloom for very long, it's too late in the season really, although I did try to make sure that a lot of them are perennials, and some of the plants kind of wilted when we transplanted them but…"

"Oh Seb!" she flung herself into his arms, laughing and crying at the same time. "Thank you so much! It's beautiful, just beautiful! I love it and I love you!"

He laughed along with her and picked her up, lifting her into the air, gazing up at her with so much adoration that for a moment she forgot all her pain and all her fear and just lost herself in the sweetness of his love. He brought her back down and she buried her face in his chest and held on to him for all she was worth.

If she had him, if she just had her precious Sebby, then maybe she could finally get through all of this and make it to the other side.

Read Chapter Fourteen

Cute little page dividers by @chachachannah / Boring old plain green ones by me!

[thelostfractal]

Paradox

This morning I woke up at five o'clock and wondered if I should get up. Before (what does that even mean, before?), I used to wake up at five o'clock every day. And I loved it ! Because I did it to write. The blue silence of dawn, the mystery between night and day, it's magical, damn it! I'm really nostalgic for those moments, now that I usually get up around nine o'clock. So, I seriously wondered what I should do, because lately (the after before), I haven't been writing anymore. It's been months, maybe a year, and if we thought about it properly (but do we really want to?), and didn't count the last gasps, maybe even two years. Whereas Before...

Argh!! It would be difficult to convey the joy, no, the ecstasy that used to fill me during those moments of pure creation, those flights outside of the world, that floating in the eternal, outside of time... So, is that all over now?

How can it be over? I asked myself. In my bed, eyes wide open to make sure I didn't fall back to sleep foolishly, I analyzed the situation. How did I start being unable to write at all? First, I finished college. A return to studying psychology, if you want to know. Go ahead, make fun, the nutjob studied psychology. Yeah well, if you knew who hangs around in those classes... Anyway. It took me a year to recover from those four years of studying, ‘cause it was so intense in terms of learning and rich in emotions. I'll detail it some other time if you want to talk about Freud. So, depression.

The seeds had been there for a while, they had probably always been there, but they got a huge dose of fertilizer to the face. Crying every night was still manageable, I was already familiar with it. Cutting myself, I did it briefly in high school, not as deep though. But the psychiatric clinic, I wasn't familiar with that. Boom! Meds, and I found myself on a month and a half vacation, far from everything, with my boyfriend. Everything was fine, you know. No brain, no thoughts, no creativity, and most importantly: no guilt for not having them anymore! Bliss!

And here we are: I wake up at five, wondering if I should get up to write and enjoy my life. The thing is, there should be a good reason to do it. To be sure. Oh, I forgot to tell you: I stopped taking the medication. So I had this argument with myself: if you get up, you'll find your reason! Inspiration doesn't just come on its own, you have to go after it, blah blah... and the other part retorted: if that reason existed, we wouldn't be having this debate, and I would already be in front of my computer! Because the rest of the analysis confirms it: I have nothing to write.

Abandoned projects, these past few years, are like an invasive species. The fantasy trilogy started in 2016? One and a half books done. The fiction started in 2020? Missing the ending. The pixel art video game started during college? Guess. The tabletop RPG based on the same universe? Special case: everything is there, or almost, except the players. Coding? Oh yes, I started learning how to code too. I wanted to create a character creation website for my RPG. Abandoned too, of course. The science fiction story outlined this year? Not even started. I'm starting to lose faith, you see. And what happened during the vacation? An urge to create a webtoon, believe it or not. So, and you'll probably understand, I don't have an ounce of ambition for this project. And even though I started a panel or two, just to test… I'm not going to give you an exhaustive list, you get the idea. I discovered a new feeling: the desire to stop something that hasn't even begun to avoid being disappointed by seeing it unfinished.

So, I was submerged by this ambiguous feeling this morning at five-thirty, eyes stinging with doubt. In conclusion, I could get up, continue a project or start a new one, force myself if necessary, and abandon it in three days. So what's the point? Eventually, I told myself that at least before, I had enthusiasm. And I can't remember which guru from my Spiritual Quest said that we should always, oh grand Always, follow our enthusiasm. It's a good way not to panic, and the general idea is that it leads us towards the things we're supposed to go to. So, I closed my eyes until eight o'clock.

[monk-of-meditation]

Monk's Secret Recipe for Ethics

In some species, there is a substantial size difference between the sexes, which creates a dominance hierarchy of males with males at the top being the only ones the females choose to mate with; consequently these are less likely* to mate for life.

In other species, there is no size difference which means that instead of selecting for toughness, they select for the ones who will stick around and be good parents and sometimes good neighbors; they mate for life*.

It's not just size, it's behavior, social structure (or lack thereof), and just basically how they interact with each other. Nature is all about selection for two things: mating and surviving.

Humans are about 50/50* on this. There's a size difference between sexes, but relatively small; so we want to dominate. We're also incredibly into monogamy because raising kids is a fucking chore*. But I digress; we're made of both, and it explains a lot about why we are the way we are.

Selection for domination is very different than selection for someone to care for your offspring. One rewards competition, while the other rewards caring about someone other than yourself.

Humans are very competitive; we've been trying to figure out better and better ways to kill each other for millenia. But we are also capable of empathy; we have societies where we not only care for our relatives, we care about those around us!

Which is better? Thanks for asking, I'm the author of the universe so clearly I know the answer. Idiot. But seriously, competition is no joke. Could we have become the dominant species on the planet without competion? Could we have have the medicine we do now? Would we have created the Oreo milkshake?

I don't feel smart enough to know. But what I do know now is that we made it. We aren't endangered. There's nothing left to dominate, no predator threatening us. We don't need to worry about survival. We've got that shit in lockdown so hard, we can actually use our incredibly intelligent knowledge fact-o's to eliminate suffering. So while competition may have been needed to get us this far, I choose to value empathy.

Why? Dude, what is with all the questions? Empathy is awesome, okay? Most movies are comedies in respect to having a happy ending, because we like happy endings for fictional characters! We pack bond with dogs and cats and basically anything that will let us!

Intelligence makes things more interesting in that we have a great ability to communicate some incredibly complex things! We can share with each other in so many words and songs and paintings and movies and these thinfs we do to try to capture the ineffable experience of being a conscious entity in this fucking nightmare of a timeline.

Speaking of consciousness, we not only recognize that other humans are other people that we interact with socially, we understand that they are conscious as well and are experiencing their own life.

Here's the last ingredient in the secret recipe for my ethics: suffering. I personally have suffered and let me tell you, I fucking hate it. I've hated it so much that I wanted to stop being alive. I've met people have gone through similar suffering. We're pretty much all destined to go through similar sufferings. For fucks sake, the first Noble Truth is that suffering is unavoidable; to put it another way, life isn't just suffering but it sure as fuck is required.

Here's the neat thing about the culmination of everything I've gone over so far: we can empathize with people for situations we haven't even personally experienced. We can use our the incredibly advanced metaphor machine known as our brain to extend empathy due to similar emotions, not situations. I can empathize with any sadness someone is having on the least that I know sadness myself. It sounds simple but what a powerful abstraction. What an ability to be connected more to our own kind – on the whole and with each person you meet – in a way that is completely unique to nature* on Earth.

The only thing is, it's a choice. Empathy for loved ones comes naturally but empathy for those far removed takes intention. The hardware of our brains simply wasn't evolved to deal with a world of 8 billion of fellow sufferers.

Life fucking sucks. It is incredibly cruel. No matter how much I may hate someone, loathe someone, or even see someone as a monster, they still suffer. Like me. And that fucking sucks.

If we have all of this knowledge, all of this power, all of this capability, and we continue as conscious beings to prioritize personal gain over eliminating suffering, we fucking suck. (Which we do, by the way. We fucking suck so bad it's embarassing, but that's a whole other matter). In the range of suck, I want to lean as far into not sucking – into using my fucking miracle of emergent* consciousness capable of changing the lives of those around me – as I possibly can.

So there's my recipe.

Biology – being wired to care

Philosophy – recognizing another consciousness capable of suffering (and their Buddha-nature)

Suffering – shit sucks, bro, and I know that feel.

You might condense all of this – the intellectual knowledge, the emotional empathy, the experiential qualia (my Buddha-nature) – down into a word like compassion.

That's my ethics. Compassion. It's not heartless calculation or blind empathy. It is using calculation to give empathy sight beyond those we love or like or agree with. It is mindful empathy.

​​Compassion is the most important thing in the world*. It is not essential to the human experience; it's a choice to do. And I believe that saying "yes" to compassion is the greatest thing that humans can bring into the world.

​​

*not a scientist

[septimaseverina]

Should I create another side-blog, dedicates to Diego Luna only? Since I haven't been this way before.

When I hyped Ben C so much like crazy, I haven't do it ever. And it's really short; like 5 years.

But, Diego Luna, 7 years and I think it must be longer or even the rest of my life.

Nevertheless, the obstacle is my jobs for living. If I were a uni girl, I would have done it for sure.

The point is, I'm older now 😅😅😅 I can't live like a uni girl forever. Once, I thought being grown-up must be misery, boring and lifeless - but I was wrong. Being grown-up have many advantages. Especially with my mum and my older brother; they don't being too much control on my life like I was younger. (Asian family thing. Like 'Turning Red' animation.) My dad? Never. Even if he was the Cantonese from Hong Kong. (Blesssed his soul. He was the best dad in the world. He always wanted a daughter, because all of his sons with his first wife are 'undependable'. (Except the 1st and the 3rd brother.)

My dad always said to me that I could study and learn everything I can, as long as I accept to look after my mum like he had always did. I have accepted his words. And after I have graduated, I can for years, until the pandemic arrived. I lost all my saving money. I had about 300 TH Baht in bank account. I became miserable woman who must depend on her mum's welfare. The worst is my mental health was falling down rapidly in endless abyss. (I have DD and AD before the pandemic arrived.) In mid 2021, I attemped suicides several times, but luckily, my vengeance (do not be like me) for the current government and their beyond-evil-minions is keeping me alive. Also, many books, films, shows, games and musics too. But the big motivation is my mum, my brothers, my BFFs, good friends around me, my doctor and my therapists. They suggest me to choose hope, not despair; life is not easy and not hard. It's about how one live; moving on, setting the boundaries (my older sister by bond has said that I was too kind toward everybody. She always advices me to be less kind, or others will take chances on me) and choosing what is goid for the soul - not ego.

I admit that I come back to my sense for only 6 months. At first, I couldn't bare the truth that I'm 30s and I can't work like the way before. But, luckily, I still've got something in my brain. So, let this post be my new year resolution.

This year, I'm gonna get better. Going beyond current state. Finishing a non-fiction, a novel and a TH fan fiction. Be my better self. Be kind, but with more boundaries. Get rich. And supporting the human rights' movement, especially, in Thailand for democracy, eqaullity (gender and class), justice, freedom and liberty.

All is said and done, I'm gonna settle my life in my own line first, before everything.

2023, I'm ready.

[millenialfanfictionaddiction]

Bestie! Loved the Adlers and MSBY chats.

Also, gen z anon, not the moaning myrtle 🤣🤣🤣

I was wondering Tiffany, how did you start your blog? I wanna start writing on my blog and I had some ideas but I'm nervous. How did you get over knowing other people would read your work and might not react to it well? Any advice would be appreciated. Your HCs are so awesome and I have sooo many ideas that I think others might like as well.

-Spooky anon 👻

Bestie!!! Thank you so much!! Im just appeasing my Adler/MSBY brain rot at this point 🤣

And yes to Gen Z anon bringing in the moaning myrtle reference 🤣 I DIED!!

So I actually started writing less than a year ago! My 1 year Tumblr-versary is coming up June 24th! I started reading fan fiction alot during the pandemic and as much as I loved it, I just wasnt finding exactly what I was looking for. Alot of my favorites in HQ didn't have fics or headcannons! Before I got into that, I wrote my Bakugo and Fatgum stories. Then I did a collab wirh @axoxtxhxh where we wrote Haikyu fem dom scenarios! I loved that but I still felt like I wanted more. So I decided to try writing headcannons and found that I loved it!

I basically got inspired by my now really good friend Joey (@axoxtxhxh) and reading her fics made me want to write my own. The the headcannon thing just kind of came about!

I'll be honest, I haven't received hate about my writing. I know others have and I honestly hate that. There is no age limit for anime, your likes and dislikes don't just change as you grow older. I really try to create a safe space on my big because I never had that growing up. I think people of all ages can connect over our love of Haikyu or any anime! Also, I realize people might not like my style of writing and THATS OK! There are tons of writers on this app who cater to every style!

I say write what YOU want, not what others want. I mean my first Bakugo fic and the Nekoma headcannons were pure self-indulgence on my part! I think you'll find alot of people enjoy reading your writing!

And if you'd like, I'd love to follow your writing!! Im always looking for new reading material and inspiration!

I hope that help 😅 I'm kind of all over the place 🤪

[larentsaloud]

Episode over and we now have to repeat the process again 😟

Thyme was so cute in this episode! The pink tee with hairband over his hair....and Gorya being the first one he sees on his birthday!!! Creating a prayer circle for some writer to pick up Gorya/ Thyme fanfiction.

Gorya being awesome self as usual! Looking so pretty in the blue dress and hair done! She was so happy making those cookies for Thyme

I do not like the new guy entry...shady vibes.

anon I am wrecked. soundtrack to this week's episode is unofficially <to sheila by smashing pumpkins> because all I can think about is the pink dye sequence. I just posted it part 1 x but will do part 2 here.

the way they are looking at each other?

it is oddly endearing for a 17 year old, soon to be 18 year old with such tempestuous nature to go all soft, giddy on her presence and demand to have his birthday countdown. it makes HER melt for him. watch.

the sheer panic on his face! oh no! my imaginary gf and IRL neighbour won't get to wish me HB? now what? he's not having it. he wants HER to be the first person to wish him HB. it's only natural when you re crushing as hard as out lil' tiger.

he even employs the heavy guns: pleading eyes and she laughs at his made up reasons for staying out there for a little longer.

they are excruciatingly cute together. and I haven't even gotten to the best part yet!

things that I will worry about til' next week:

new guy shady AF anon, you are right, I don't like him. there's a vibe. I'm getting a Wickham vibe. I thought Ren was it, but that was a red herring. WhoRen departed and now we have a new person to trash. damn. this show doesn't let us breathe. ANGST everywhere.

Thyme's fiancee is low key cute I might develop a crush what if I ship her with thyme? oh actually looks like she’s got the hots for Gorya. so there my new ship. I mean it's unlikely to happen, but then I ship MJ and Kaning so you never know what self-destructive path my brain will take me on???

Thyme's reaction to the engagement. I worry.

how is Gorya going to pay all the house bills on her own

are the cookies OK? are they crushed? they better not be damaged

I needed more soft / bickering thyme x gorya this episode was too short I am calling gmmtv now making official complaint

but above all?

pray for me. it's the come down. 

Dx

PS: re fan fiction I am pretty sure there are some ppl on a03 tag but I can't do that rabbit hole rn, I am working on a poetry book atm and I CANNOT distract myself. sorry. I do promise to create lots fo f4 content though.