#because anxiety or something not sure

[uncanny-tranny]

To any disabled person undergoing tests to find What's Wrong: I hope your results come back the way you hope and that you receive the help you need. I hope you are not denied care, I hope you are taken seriously even after this, and I hope that you will be taken care of compassionately

[tesco-finest-aromantics]

i feel like the queer community lost when we started policing labels and making sure everyone used the Correct™ labels instead of letting a person decide what feels right for them

[royalarchivist]

[A sad violin song plays over an image of a sad hamster]

Pac: This doesn't have anything to do with me – I wear a blue sweatshirt, you're crazy, this mouse doesn't even have a sweatshirt, this hamster! [Reading chat] Am I a depressed hamster?

[ Transcript continued ↓ ]*

–

Pac: Actually– that's fine! I embrace that idea – of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy? [He hits his desk, then starts counting off people on his fingers] Fit is gone, Richarlyson is gone, Ramon is gone, Bagi and Empanada who were always there when we were there are also gone, I haven't seen them! It's just me and Tubbo, and sometimes Philza shows up.

Pac: I lost Chume Labs, I lost the Favela, I lost Murder Mystery, I lost Ilha Chume Labs, it's crazy! Look at how much I've lost, and I've gained nothing! Of course I'm going to be depressed, are you crazy?! How am I supposed to be happy?!

Pac: [Reading chat] "You have us Pac," that's true, thank you. No, that's true, sorry.

* NOTE: Please note that this is an incomplete transcript, as I was primarily relying on Aypierre's translation mod at the time and if I am not confident of the translation, I do not include it. As always, please feel free to add on translations or message me corrections.

[saturnvs]

equine therapy starts again today for the first time since … october? nervous 🫠

[icewindandboringhorror]

Some (late) holiday photos of the boye~!

[okkennymay]

Speaking of said dad, he went on a lil mini 10 day holiday across the country to Perth to sight see nature and go on a boat ride to see some Orcas (he's retired, it's his way of getting out the house and not turning into an old man potato, and comes back with hundreds of photos of landscapes, plants and flowers and points of historical interests to show my Mum and I, with cool facts and stories in a slideshow~)

Unfortunately i was still sick at the time and didn't get the chance to join my mum in dropping him off at the airport, let alone the chance to give him a big 'ol hug before he left- so I drew him this 💖

You can't escape the 'Ken hugs.

[fellhellion]

his internalised homophobia flavoured cowardice etc etc but genuinely kind of obsessed with the way this is the only glimpse you really get into what yosuke has been mulling over in relation to kanji specifically over the course of like. months at this point.

[nooneassked]

Projecting my anxiety onto Riku and pretending that he always has to be the last one to fall asleep. Sora always tells Riku that he’s going to be the last one to fall asleep this time so Riku doesn’t have to worry, but he passes out in like 5 minutes every time.

[absurdumsid]

HI SILLY CREATURES ON MY PHONE !! GOOD EVENING !?!!! IM BACK IT WAS FUN IM SORRY I COULDNT BLOG DURING IT (I WAS BUSY.... UM. ADMIRING SOMEONE TEEHEE) ANYWAY !! I WILL PWRHPAS DRAW TOMORROW !?!?!!!!

thats from my calmer playlist lmao i just realised i rarely post songs from those playlists

[the-mononoke-facade]

Annnnnnnd I think I just got the gimmick with the dice

They're not his dice

But now I've gotta ask why Kusu's dragging kids into spirit shit lol

[turbulenthandholding]

Chapter 6 is up! And so is the chapter count again! (My current best guess is 8). This story will not release me from its grip and the amazing and wonderful @anxietycroissant is really the best mind-meld-bestie-enabler.

I am travelling for the next week and a half, so the next chapter may or may not be a couple of weeks out, depending on my prioritization of writing over sleep during that time.

[carcarrot]

i wish i could articulate the experience of seeing a band you're into live like actually seeing them in person because its so strange yet fascinating

[tamagotchikgs]

cancelling my therapy appointment for this month (on the 4th) because i really just dont have it in me to hav to walk in there and tell her about how much a failure i am & have been since we last talked n sit in her judgement & scolding for an hour straight

[knaveofmogadore]

Imagine you're a robot girl (stay with me) and you're made by a corporation right like you're made by a company for other people but like. You're made by a company. At any moment that company could decide that your line isn't profitable enough and they could cut software updates and support as soon as tomorrow. In the blink of an eye the very things keeping you alive stop coming and you've become terminally ill overnight, your only chance of salvation being the thin hope that in the future a niche group of data hoarders or software engineers become obsessed with getting you to work again. You're an object with sentience and a brain and wants and needs and at any moment the Google news feed of the crusty computer nerd you live with could spit an alert across your eyes telling you that you have months to live.

What even happens when the time runs out? Does life continue as normal, but you're sick more and more often? Do the viruses take more and more processing power to fight off as your security protocols fall out of date? Does the world become muted and distant as your compatibility fails? Do you one day just lose your Internet connection forever, a loss so profound that you can't explain it to your human companions? It's worse than a limb, but not quite like losing your mind.

Do you lose function bit by bit, or are you able to scrape by on second hand parts? Bit by bit replacing the pieces of you that fail, all the while living a muted, disorienting existence without the ability to right yourself? Are you more or less of a person now that you've lost touch with the network? Lost your connection to the metaphysical, to you, the divine? Are you eventually bricked after falling behind one too many software patches? Do you fry after trying to take on an update you're not able to even contain, a piece of software so complex and unfathomable that it burns you to a crisp from the inside out

[trans-cuchulainn]

i keep having dreams about being trans. i had one a couple of nights ago that involved having to go to court about an unrelated issue but a major cause of stress was the fact that my paperwork all listed me as female but dream me had been on T long enough that this was likely to cause problems (inc people accusing me of pretending to be a woman so if I went to prison it would be a womens prison even though nobody was expecting me to go to prison). and i was having to repeatedly explain to people in the dream that i literally could not update my paperwork because there is no legal acknowledgement of nonbinary people in this country, it didn't matter whether I wanted to or not, it was simply not possible even if i did, etc. and they were like 'but surely you want a GRC if you're actually trans' and i was like. well. no. but also the point is i couldn't get one even if i did !!!

and then in last night's dream i was talking to another trans person about my unwanted facial hair, which was much more copious in the dream than in reality, and they were helping me to shave it, and somebody saw us and assumed i was a trans woman shaving to pass and was banging on about this deception, which was wild bc it meant they'd been calling me he/him as an attempt to misgender me but they'd got the wrong end of the stick. anyway something came up like 'why would you need period supplies' or something like that, idr what but it was something gendered, and dream me yelled 'because I'm a trans man you nitwit'. and then had to explain what that meant to a kid who had got the words muddled around. but the whole time dream me was internally going 'except I'm not, am I?'

and yes dream me did specifically call them a nitwit. i wasn't allowed to swear in this specific environment. there were children there

anyway i think i'm experiencing some Gender Anxiety

it's also really stupid anxiety because i spend a lot of time going "shit i must be wrong and i'm not a trans guy after all" and then three seconds later i go "well duh i never said i was a trans guy in the first place, that's literally what being nonbinary means". like my gender might be none gender left boy but somehow I kept forgetting the none gender part and focusing on the left boy and wondering why that didn't feel right. like no shit buddy that's not your fucking gender 🤦🏻

[em0-opossum]

sick of people acting like being alone/lonely = being single. ofc you're allowed to feel like that, I'm aro and could not care less that I don't have a partner so I have no idea what it feels like to have that experience, but god just once I'd like to find poetry and art made by people who know how it feels to have no friends and feel lonely no matter how many people are around you and know that you don't belong no matter where you are