#because i can't afford the real ring LOL

[wake-me-up-inside-imagines]

Ok, I just read your sweet yandere post and would like to add something.

I love the idea of like a mafia boss yandere or someone who is usually cruel (like maybe a Hades sort of character) but is an absolute sweet heart to their darling. One of my fave tropes

OOOOOOH I LOVE THIS TROPE! I have a character who's just like this actually, a total sweetheart to whoever he's with but has a very low tolerance for most other people.

Sorry, this is a long one lol

I'm gonna make headcanons now because you've inspired me lol.

(Banner/divider credit goes to @cafekitsune)!

Tw: Kidnapping, mentions of violence

Mafia boss! Charlie who is no stranger to violence. He's lived his entire life surrounded by it, in fact. Having a mafia boss for a father will do that to you, he guesses.

Mafia boss! Charlie who's spent his whole life working for the mafia, being trained to kill, smuggle, and deal ever since he was a child. He grew up living a life of crime, rising up the ranks (thanks to his father), before taking over as the boss when his father was killed by an unruly client.

Mafia boss! Charlie who's a cruel, ruthless man. He's killed dozens of people, injured many more, and runs his organization with an iron fist. He may be young, but he's learned enough to know that any show of trust, any display of kindness is a show of weakness, a show of vulnerability. He can't afford that, not when he's the head of the mafia, so he makes sure to make it so that no one will question or challenge his authority by any means necessary.

Mafia boss! Charlie who has very few real friends, keeping those he does have at an arm's length. He'd rather die than admit that he craves real relationships, that he desires to make genuine, true connections with others. But he can't, so he pushes his wants to the side, reminding himself that his only purpose is to keep his business running smoothly, nothing more.

Until he sees you, that is.

Mafia boss! Charlie who meets you out on a grocery run one day. Your interaction is nothing special, at least to you, but Charlie can't help but marvel at how easily you make conversation with him while ringing up his items, how seemingly unfazed you are by his snappy attitude and unapproachable appearance. It's been a long, long time since he's met anyone unafraid of him, and those people are usually rivals who are too cocky for their own good. So this, this is new. He knows it's stupid, he knows that your tiny interaction shouldn't have mattered much to someone like him, but he can't help but feel giddy about the connection he's sure he felt.

Mafia boss! Charlie who, against his better judgment, wastes no time in trying to find out who you are. It's not hard, he has an entire organization full of trained trackers, stalkers, and informants at his disposal, and by the end of the day, he has your full name, address, social media accounts, family tree, medical records, and much more safely in his welcoming hands. He knows this is a bit overkill considering he only met you today and your interaction lasted five minutes at most, but now that he has a taste of real human interaction, he's addicted. He needs more.

Mafia boss! Charlie who quickly becomes awestruck and obsessed with you. His whole life, he's been surrounded by the craftiest, cruelest, most violent people imaginable, so to see someone, especially someone as precious as you, live a completely normal life, naive to the dangers he faces everyday? It's captivating! Of course, he can't follow you all day, he is a mafia boss after all, but he has enough people following you around and recording your every move that he doesn't need to! He's never been happier to be who his is than now.

Mafia boss! Charlie who thinks you're the most beautiful person in the world. You're a sweet little thing, too gentle and too unaware of the dangers around you for your own good. He loves everything about you, no matter how weird or embarrassing. He's content to watch you carefully for a couple months, but as time goes on, his need to feel our touch, to talk to you, to see you face to face is too much. He needs you. He needs you NOW. It doesn't help that you're so vulnerable and weak compared to him, with no knowledge of weaponry or stealth to keep you safe. What if someone were to try and hurt you? Of course, his goons wouldn't let that happen, not if they wanted to keep their organs, but he would feel so much better if he could keep an eye on you personally. Not to mention, every mafia boss needs a spouse, and some of his higher ranking associates have been hinting that it's about time he found someone...

Mafia boss! Charlie who immediately starts planning your "transfer" to his house, meticulously drafting out every last detail to secure your safety. He chooses his best, most skilled employees to carry out his plan, only the best for his darling, and sends them out to bring you "home". That day you come home from work, completely unaware of the people in your apartment, completely unaware of the sleeping pills dumped into your water while you weren't looking.

Mafia boss! Charlie who's ecstatic to finally have you with him, to finally have someone to hold, to talk to, to love. He brings your unconscious body to your new room, laying you softly on the bed while instructing his employees to pack up all your belongings and bring them to him. He doesn't tie you down or chain you up, he has enough security measures in place to make sure you won't be able to escape. You won't even be able to leave your room without him being notified.

Mafia boss! Charlie who watches the camera in your room as you wake up for the first time in your new home, confused and disoriented. All of your stuff is here, but this is NOT your apartment. Where are you? He watches as you start to freak out, guilt flashing through him for the first time in his life. He doesn't want you to be scared, he just wants to keep you safe!

Mafia boss! Charlie who sends one of his gentler employees into your room to explain everything, too afraid of scaring you even further by showing up himself. He waits a few days before revealing himself to you, when your terror has calmed down and you've become more familiar with your surroundings. He kind of just stands there, unable to formulate a sentence, which is extremely unnerving to you. You've been told you're to be married to a highly respected and violent mafia boss, and here he is, just...staring. When he opens his mouth to speak, your surprised at how soft his voice is, calmly explaining to you that you're safe, you won't be hurt. He reaches out his hand to touch you, but recoils when you flinch, not wanting to push you.

Mafia boss! Charlie who does everything he can to make you more comfortable and less afraid of him, getting you anything and everything you've ever shown interest in, giving you as much space as you need, and letting you roam the rather large house freely. All you can't do is leave. He doesn't understand why you're still so scared, sure he's a criminal, but he promised he would never hurt you!

Mafia boss! Charlie who gets more desperate for your love as time goes on. He starts appearing in whatever room your in, softly talking to you about his day or about whatever you're doing, trying to get you to be more comfortable with him. Once you've gotten used to that, he starting slowly initiating physical contact, holding you in his arms like he's never going to let you go (because he won't). He tried his hardest not to push your boundaries, but eventually his need to be near you becomes too great. Rest assured though, he would never, ever dream of hurting you or purposely scaring you.

Mafia boss! Charlie who can't get enough of the feeling of your skin on his. He starts hugging/cuddling you whenever he can, holding you like you'll break if he presses too hard. He's always near you, cuddling up to you while telling you about how much he loves you, adoration shining in his eyes. He's the clingiest at night though, whispering sweet nothings into your ear as you fall asleep, him watching over you until he succumbs to his own tiredness. And his kisses? They are the softest, fluffiest thing you've ever felt. He cannot get enough of your lips, and he always kisses you passionately, like you'll disappear once he separates from you. With how loving and gentle he is, it doesn't take long for you to start loving him back.

Mafia boss! Charlie who starts giving you more privileges the farther you fall into stockholm. He'll even start taking you out in public on dates once he thinks there's no chance of you trying to escape him. He'd be able to find you if you did, he has many, many connections, but he trusts you won't. He loves going out with you and doing normal, coupley things with you, it's a nice break from his usual, violent life.

Mafia boss! Charlie who is insanely protective of you, never leaving you alone in a room with anyone except for himself. He knows how dangerous it is to be associated with him and now that he has you, he refuses to let anything happen to you. Any rival who attempts to hurt, kill, or kidnap you is met with Charlie himself, who enacts the most brutal, torturous death he can possibly think of on them. Nobody will come close to hurting you, he'll make sure of it. But no matter what happens, he'll always make sure you're far, far away from the violence. He never wants to subject you to the horrors he's seen (and done).

Mafia boss! Charlie who feels awful the first time you hear him raise his voice. It wasn't at you of course, he would never, ever think of yelling at his darling, you just happened to be in the room when he was meeting with one of his associates. It's scary seeing him yell, threatening brutal acts of violence on his own employee, and for the first time you realize how different he is with others than he is with you. He's quick to shut the meeting down once he realizes you're there, spending the rest of the night apologizing to you and assuring you he would never speak to you like that. This'll be the first time he truly opens up about what his job is like and why he has to be as cruel as he is, trying to help you understand why he behaved the way he did. It's difficult for him to make himself vulnerable, but he'd gladly to it if it meant easing your mind. From then on, he makes absolute sure you aren't around whenever he has to take care of business. He refuses to let you see him like that ever again.

Mafia boss! Charlie who never lets you forget how much he needs you in his life. You're the only thing keeping him from devolving into insanity, he wouldn't know how to handle himself if you were gone. He'll give you everything and anything if you listen to him and stay by his side, so please... please don't try to leave him.

Not that you would be able to, anyway.

[rius-cave]

Disguise AU

How and when would their first real date be like??

Or would they even see eachother after that hot night?

My thoughts are that Adam would wake up completely hangover either in his couch or either in an hotel room -though I doubt they would go THAT far the night they met- with a note next to him, it has a phone number and says ‘Call me handsome’

See, I think my answer is heavily influenced by something I read or watched once (probably some yaoi manga idk) but I don't really remember what lol, here's what I think:

They absolutely had sex the first night. If it had just been some heavy make out sessions, Adam wouldn't have freaked out as much skfkgksgd.

I think they probably start making out, then Lucifer, being just a bit tipsy, asks Adam if he wants to come to his hotel room. Adam, who is absolutely smashed, says yeah sure whatever just keep touching me. They probably do some hand stuff in the car because Adam literally can't keep his hands to himself and is drunkenly horny lol. And then yes, they go to Lucifer's hotel room and cut to black and all that.

Next day I reckon Adam had a freakout and storms out, leaving Lucifer very confused and also a tad disappointed and sad.

There's a couple days, maybe even weeks, with Adam just going back and forth with "WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO" and "holy shit that was the best night of my life" and "IM NEVER FUCKING DOING THAT AGAIN" until of course, he starts going down again lol, and if he's conveniently going to the same bar where he met the stranger each and every time, well... That's just a coincidence, promise.

However, Lucifer never shows up, leaving Adam feeling like an idiot for thinking it was possible to meet him again, he tries hooking up with other people, women, but it's just not as great.

Until of course one day he sees him there again, and debates another good 20 minutes if he should talk to him or not. He finally walks up to him.

He half explains himself on why he ran out, and Lucifer is understanding and says not to worry about it etc etc, they were drunk bla bla. Lucifer says he can't stay that night cause he has some business to attend to, but gives Adam his card and tells him to ring him sometime.

It takes Adam another good while to actually call him lol. I think they'd have a pretty normal date, though neither of them call it that. Can't really decide what they'd do for their date in this context, maybe Lucifer surprises him by going to a concert with VIP seats, idk, something that only rich people could do lol.

They have a great fucking time and connect really well, for a second Adam thinks, hey, this is not even gay! Maybe I was just really drunk off my ass! This guy is just fun to hang out with...... And then a couple hours later they're making out again and having a quick one in some alleyway or whatever lololol

Honestly, I could go on forever, but this is already long and if I keep going I'll end up wanting to make it a comic and I can't afford that right now LMAO

If you guys crave more from this AU, Dedmerath is going to be making a comic on her Patreon!! Go support her, she's super awesome!

[toomuchracket]

Yesyesyes! D word engagement <3

the very early d word blurbs mention you and matty hanging out together for the first time in parks around london (and beyond, on tour!), going for walks and coffees and just getting to know each other out of the confines of the office and cramped backstage areas and planes and cars and tour buses. when you start going on holidays together, you stay in places either in or surrounded by natural, open spaces - as much as you and matty like being squished up against each other lmao, you both like the freedom and escape from pressure that these places afford you and your relationship. so when it comes to him proposing to you, somewhere like that seems the most apt, and the most meaningful - also in terms of it being meaningful, i think that matty might actually propose in the closest nice park to your house, because, well, it's home and that means a lot to you both. he plans it for a little gap between busy spells at work, so you have the time and energy to actually bask in the engagement glow lol; this is also quite genius of him, because when work stops being so busy matty can be like "baby you should book a spa day. and also get your nails done. just take some time for yourself, sweetheart, because you've been working non-stop lately", thus ensuring your nails will look extra perfect above your beautiful new ring (not that matty would care if your manicure wasn't immaculate, but you would. imagine the pics lmao!!). but yeah, it happens quite early on a sunday morning while you're walking through the park on your way to get coffee, as you regularly do when you can. it's spring, the sun hasn't long risen so everything is still slightly golden, and the flowers are beginning to bloom beautifully in the park; it's when you stop to admire some of them (particularly some tulips) that matty gets down on one knee. you literally turn back round to look at him like "babe, aren't they stunning?", and gasp when you see him kneeling on the (thankfully dry) path, ring box in hand, grinning at you - matty's like "they are, darling. i think they're lovely enough for me to be doing this here, in this place we both love. that is, of course, my motivation for doing this - i love you, sweetheart, so much. and i tried so hard to write a speech about how much, and it's cringe to say given that it's literally my job, but i couldn't come up with the right combination of words to accurately convey how in love with you i am. but i think this ring and the question i'm about to ask you kinda do that for me". at that, he opens the box to reveal the most perfect ring, before continuing "i've said it before, and i'll say it again: i love you. i love life more with you in it. and i'd love if you would do me the honour of becoming my wife. will you marry me, darling?" - you squeak out a "yeah", and matty stands up to slide the ring onto your finger, smiling tearily at you before he kisses you. you're both a bit dazed when you pull back, beaming giddily at each other and giggling, before kissing quickly again and hugging tightly. you murmur into matty's shoulder "i love you. i can't believe this is real. and i actually can't wait to marry you either, baby", and he kisses the side of your head like "it's just a dream come true, isn't it? and i can't wait to marry you either, sweetheart, but we'll have to - gotta get coffee first, yeah?"; you giggle, and pull back, holding out your left hand for matty to take (which he does, after kissing your ring finger) like "let's hurry up and do that so we can get home as soon as - we've got a wedding to start planning, after all" <3

[mahoushoujotechsupport]

hey its time for episode 4

starting off with one of the funniest fucking scenes in this whole show with suletta just fucking hauling ass right out of there after guel just surprise proposes to her

just want to juxtapose this with her wild feelings speech in 17 about buying rings and wearing the prettiest dresses

this shot just reminded me of a random detail from the manual for chuchu's demi trainer - it says earth house can't afford their own demi trainers so chuchu's is a modified older version because thats the best they could do.

suletta pilots a demi trainer during the whole field test thing so like... does she own or have a demi trainer loaned out for school use or something? i honestly forgot chuchu pilots her own suit in this scene cuz i had just accepted that the demi trainers for practical exams etc were like just there for the students to use whenever

i know this was like probably the easier way to write suletta becoming friends with earth house but lmao why didnt she just ask miorine from the start to help for the makeup exam. baka suletta.

suletta please.

till will forever go down as bestboy in the series tbh. like someone needs to write a fic where he wingmans for suletta while nika does it for miorine

suletta, you naive little baby

there really was absolutely no reason for miorine to get all handsy and possessive here lmao like she could just stood infront of suletta or even right next to her and still had the same confrontation and warning about the other houses being bad news

the 2nd light novel picking up from here and highlighting miorine's jealousy over el4n during this whole arc is perfect lmao

kinda fun to speculate on how suletta saw miorine during the beginning. like she was completely surprised miorine didnt belong to a house. suletta's so awkward and socially inept she couldnt tell she was dealing with the one other person at school who was equally socially inept

i feel like there's a lot of frames i never paused on to read like this one lol. i never realized suletta got so many questions wrong. well "wrong" cuz reading through her answers it almost sounds like she just didnt give the benerit group approved answers lmao kinda like when you get stupid training stuff at work and they're just chockful of anti-union propaganda

never forget the first time we saw miorine's room

i know so many people don't really care about the class conflict in ad stella, but god, i wish they really hadnt dropped the ball on this. like in the 1st cour they had something really good here

obligatory shot of chuchu's dads

miorine rembran will not let anyone insult her woman

does anyone know what this gold gate/door thing was supposed to be? after the second school shooting, there's a shot shown where it's the only thing left standing in that area and i dont think ive ever seen anyone talk about it before

see like even this is good re: class politics. like its not this cut and dry all spacians are evil capitalists thing. mercurian miners were pretty much lured out by the benerit group to be exploited for their labor and then left to dry once a cheaper source for permet was found. bless the fic writers who've turned that into appalachian town suletta because it's such a perfect analogy

suletta mercury literally got decked in the face and we all just focused on the chuchu punch

imagine miorine sitting with her in her room just helping her ice her face

by the way how excited do you think suletta was to call someone senpai just like in her fair use mangas lmao

ok all set with episode 4. ive gotta say, it is super jarring to go back to these slice of life school episodes after everything we've been through in the second cours. like yeah that was kind of the point in having the first half of the series have pretty much no stakes since these kids are about to be thrown into war

you know for all the complaining a lot of losers did when the show started about this not being a "real" gundam series, the only difference between watching suletta's journey versus say amuro's... is that we got to see suletta's life before everything got wrecked. with amuro we just immediately start off at the point where Everything Goes Bad

[bigdsgirl]

fluff city and spoiler screams below

read with ear plugs, i can't afford to pay for hearing damage that may occur

wait BABY NAMES???? OMFG???

WAIT KISSES??

HE PICKED HER UP GET OUT

"Dad I am so happy now" -- yeah this is fine, so great

oh my god he brought BEER TO WORK LOOOL

I will say, those snacks look fire.

I will never be over Kang Ji won's outfits. god they amazing.

aw wait he's apologizing??? did not expect this!! I love it.

..... and he's monologuing lol.

every time I see my kitty, I just get so happy.

wait! he made her dinner (bought dinner?). bahahaha the bit with the greens.

HIS SMUG SMILE AJGKLFDGJALDKFGJALDKFJGAD.

oh my god she's so happy. he must be on cloud 9.

they. opened. a branch. in Seoul. Lord, I have seen what you have done for others....

wait!!! aw she wants to go somewhere this weekend!!!

god they look soooooooo good.

WAIT. WHERE ARE WE??? Oh my fucking god. we are back at where they met. oh my god it's happening.

"I'm the best allowance your dad picked for you" SIR!!!

"I want to start our new start here too" -- SHE IS NOT!! OMG. WAIT SHE IS PROPOSING???????????????????? I LOVE THIS SO MUCH. this man is shookth. to his core.

"i can't believe you" sir where are you going. SIR. GET BACK HERE. loool shes so funny.

"You can do whatever you want but not a proposal" -- I can't. I am mush. HES BEEN CARRYING IT FOR SO LONG AND WANTS TO PROPOSE ALL THE TIME.

oh of course, she is unchanged. this girl. seriously.

wait a visitor?? who??

OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUCK. WAIT WHAT. WHAT?????? IS THIS REAL??? HAHAHAH WAIT NVM!!! LOOL.

oh this girl crazy, crazy.

oh wait they beeeee gettting marrried!!! the sweetest revenge is happiness (PMR taught us this 🤭🤌)

wait stop. stop it. she is beyond beautiful in that dress. omg. the photos!!!! oh my god. I can't form thoughts. the sparkles!!! the detail?? the CROWN?? the TOP OF THE DRESS??

holy fudge, love love the flowers. the details of this wedding are gorgeous!?!?!?

wait my bean is at the family table!!!

rings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love RINGS!!! and HANDS!!!

my babies are so happy!!! they deserve everything!!! oh my god. their smiles, I am kicking and squealing.

see! this is how you repent!

PHOTO MONTAGE???

Dad are you watching? this is fine, i'm fine. it's all cool.

HEHEHEH GIVE HER THE BOUQUET!!!

ok so we jumped forward a bit. okay okay. aw, she is opening a foundation! I love this for her! the concept of a second chance, beautiful!!

October 2017??? WAIT WAIT WAIT CHILDRENS THINGS??? WAIT! WAIT TWO CRIBS???????????????????????

lol he just pooped. i feel you bestie.

oh they haven't done this before 🥹😭

the tree!!! the tree!! their memories!!! <3 omg THREE BABIES???

"I want to be land" - I am going to sob. gtfo. my babies.

"once and only anniversary" omg today is the day.

oh my god they are spending the day together because, "today is the day all the seasons I have spent have ended" -- get the fuck out. I'm sorry, I am not coherent, this is so lovely.

"I'm living properly dad"

seriously, please. I am on my last leg. the way they thank each other during this moment. I am not okay.

"I'm so happy". 🥹😭💗✨

what a beautiful ending!!!!!

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

(feel free to ignore this one b/c there's too much asexual complaining/hopelessness in this lol)

Sometimes I'm like "I'm not a real asexual" because I worked really hard not to be one.

I don't believe there's a way I can have a happy life if I don't fix myself. I tried to act like it doesn't bother me but it does. I was so sick of feeling like something was dead inside of me that was alive and well in everyone else. It was destroying me, depressing me, it was too much.

Idk how to say this but at some point I had to fix myself and grow up. I'm in my 30s and I have to compromise or become a different person or else I'm gonna get left. No kids, no ring, no nothing. And that's not the life I want. That's not the life I can afford! My friends are all getting married off and sharing expenses. Soon, I'll have no more roommates. Perpetual rejection can lead me right in to homelessness.

I worked HARD to train myself out of asexuality after 14 years of regular arousal training and making myself be in normal relationships. And when I finally feel like I'm a normal person and I can leave this behind me, someone will complain about not having sex in a few weeks and I will blue screen like a broken computer. Like what do you mean that upsets you.

My desires will never be that strong no matter what I do. I could never get MAD or pent up because I haven't..... used someone else's body for pleasure. No matter what I do, I don't feel like I need it need it need it. I'm just not built to slobber all over another person and have that be most of my personality.

The asexual in me is very okay that I don't live like that, that I don't actually have those strong desires. But real life situations I get into every day remind me I must be broken. No one I've met in the wild relates to what I feel inside. No one. Just people online that's it. And that hurts so much more soooooooo so much more. I feel like the biggest freak on the planet. I hate this shit.

And, I feel like I have to sign up for another ten years of arousal training trying to fix myself even more until I get it because I can't support myself on a single income household in ten years I just can't. I need to be partnered with someone who isn't going to cheat on me and leave me in the dust because of who I am. And I can't handle false positivity with that because it has happened to me 8 times. One of my exes suggested surgery or drugs or conversion therapy and I hate that I'm considering fixing myself medically but I feel too burnt out and hopeless to not try it.

I'm so sorry you're going through such a difficult time, Anon. And it can legitimately be very hard to be asexual. One big thing though I'd like to point out is you keep talking about how you're wrong, but all the problems you point out are societal. Society makes it hard to thrive when you're single (both financially and socially), society makes it hard to have less conventional looking relationships. You are not the problem, Anon, the way our current society is built is the problem. It's external, not internal. And it can feel like you need to fix yourself, but you'll always be reaching because at the end of the way society will always still be the part that's actually broken.

I know you've probably heard people speak out against conversion therapy (and it is still conversion therapy when you're doing it to yourself), but one of the big issues with it that doesn't get mentioned as much is that it doesn't work. You just can't change who you are on such a fundamental level. And people go through these therapies and usually all they accomplish is becoming more traumatized and more confused. I know this is difficult, Anon, but this isn't a viable long term solution.

What I would really encourage you to do is find someone to talk to, it sounds like money is tight, but you can take advantage of free mental health services like 7 Cups, The Trevor Project, which are queer and asexual friendly. And they will help you navigate not just how to find self-acceptance, but financial planning and life planning. Even if you don't feel ready for this yet, please do keep this resource in mind.

There are other aces out there, it seems like there's not because once again we live in a society that keeps our orientation from us, and therefore keeps us from each other. I live in a city of 50k people, that means, even if we go by the most conservative estimates, there's at least 500 other aces in my city alone. Our orientation is kept from us, and a lot of aces don't even know there's a word for their experiences and a community. And this may sound like more hopelessness, but the other side of this is that asexuality is becoming more well known all the time, more local communities are starting to appear. Sometimes people can find other aces through local lgbtq+ chapters or Pride events. Sometimes there's an in-person asexual meetup group near you. Some major dating apps now let you put your orientation as asexual and filter for other aces. Even outside of dating, connecting to the asexual community can be really healing.

Sometimes it can seem like you're the only one, and because of how ingrained it is in society dating and sex go together, allosexual people who we date can sometimes act in a way that makes us feel like what we want isn't possible. If this happens multiple times in a row, our brains are pattern based, you hit this wall enough time, your brain says 'there is no going through this wall', and it will feel true whether it is or not.

Another thing you should consider looking into is what government programs exist in your city/state/province/territory/country. A lot of time there's financial resources out there that aren't very well advertised, especially if you're in a lower income. And often they depend on people seeking them out themselves. It won't hurt to do a few google searches or check what local organizations exist.

I know this is probably a lot, and I things probably feel very bleak for you right now, Anon. Unfortunately you can't flip a switch and suddenly accept yourself, you can't just fix society and wealth inequality. My advice would be though to try and take things one step at a time. And don't be afraid to reach out. And feel free to send as many asks here as you like too.

Take care, Anon!

[highwayking]

I've been trying to take better care of myself

At the start of January I bought Ring Fit because I just do not exercise at all because I have a hard time finding motivation because "it's good for you" is too abstract for me to to actually grasp, but having like the adventure mode with a story is a real help, and the quick play having rankings gets me to want to get the highest score possible

I've only done about 10 days of actually playing it though because the first three times I was too sore afterwards to play again for a few days, and I only play it when I'm home alone because I'm too embarrassed of being seen even though I know no one would care! But my brain is like ew ur cringe(BC I have to play it with the tv I can't see the switch screen very well undocked)

I've managed to make myself drink water when I play(I have a hard time normally because it doesn't taste like anything) and hopefully I can get myself to drinking it normally too

I'm really excited for summer! I really want to get back into biking again!

I started brushing my teeth every day! I struggled really badly for a long time because of a lot of sensory issues and it feeling like a herculean task because you have to do it every day but I'm starting to be able to notice the feeling of plaque building up + wanting to get rid of, and built it into my morning routine to brush while I wait for my coffee to brew, I also started using mouth wash about a week ago, my teeth are starting to actually look nicer they've been really badly stained for a while. If I get a permanent job at my current employer I'll finally be able to get dental insurance, the last time I went to the dentist in 2017 I had gingivitis and lots of cavities and really badly stained teeth from not brushing BC of a combination of sensory issues + depression, they called me irresponsible about it and it made things a lot worse for me so I want my mouth to be in better condition when I can finally afford to go again(to a different dentist though lol)

I still can't shower every day and honestly I don't think I'll ever be able to, there's too many sensory issues before during and after, I can only do it every day when I'm like, at conventions for a weekend because my friends will make fun of me if I don't but even then it's so hard and my skin gets sooooo bad afterwards even if I used body wash specifically for dry skin

I want to try eating healthier too but it's really hard I'm an extremely picky eater so I don't like a lot of vegetables and I don't enjoy cooking so the idea of dressing them up or hiding them in something is too much ):

[nothingiswrongwithyourarmrests]

Hi! :D I hope it's okay if I ask a teeth question. This might sound kind of stupid but I really want to get back into acting, and my teeth are... not white. They're not a very deep yellow as they used to be, but man they are Yellow. and it makes me feel really awful when I see them in the mirror. I'll watch movies and see actors like Ryan Gosling with the perfect whites and I'll think "oh my god I have to have that". I am absolutely horrified of sitting in the dentist's chair and actually getting my teeth whitened because I've heard that can be painful and I WILL cry, also just, I am broke so I can't even afford that lol.

Is there any way to whiten my teeth naturally? Obviously I know it would take a miracle to just brush the yellow away, but I'm hoping that I can do... anything to improve them, even to just make them slightly less yellow? I've tried looking up what to do but it would talk about charcoal toothpaste or lemon peels on your teeth and I thought... man I am not a dentist but that doesn't sound right 😭 so I'm afraid of messing up my teeth, so I thought I'd just uh, ask a dentist lol. I know there's probably no way for me to get perfect pearly whites unless if I got some drastic work done, but god I want anything better than just. yellow. I've had yellow teeth my whole life and I've always felt so ashamed of them and any time I miss acting I think about how my teeth would probably prevent me from landing any roles as well. So sorry for the long rant, thank you for reading this 💕

Anon, I don't know you and I can't see you, so my first reccomendation is to see a good dentist who can give you actual medical advice tailored to your needs. No stranger on the internet can substitute for a medical professional in real life.

Now I want you to do an image search for "Vita A3". This should bring up different colour rings/models for prosthetic teeth. Look at how yellow those are. Normal teeth are slightly yellow. Most people are an A3, unless they are very young. Having celebrity white teeth is not normal. Ryan Gosling doesn't even look like Ryan Gosling 90% of the time, it's the work of stylists and photo editors to make him look like that. Do an image search for Pete Potlewaithe and maybe watch a few of his movies because there are so many wonderful actors who are not cookie-cutter pretty and that doesn't stop them being amazing actors. If you get a stage role the whiteness of your teeth will not matter one bit.

The first thing you should definitely do is get a professional tooth cleaning. It might be pricey where you live, but it's definitely worth it for your dental health and you might discover that a lot of the yellow was on top of your teeth as stains and not the actual base colour. This is always step one. If you're happy with the colour of your teeth after that you should look at what you put into your mouth will stain your teeth and maybe change your brushing technique and habits. A heavy tea drinker can go from a C5 all the way up to a A2 colour just by removing a few months worth of stains. Once calculus and stains have hardened it becomes impossible to remove them by brushing at home. Any "whitening" toothpaste is just more abrasive and will damage your teeth in the long run.

If your teeth are truly too yellow and not just a bit stained you can get them gently whiter with at-home bleaching, but once again you will need a dentist to get you started with that and supervise it. You'd need to invest in a set of bleaching trays made for your mouth, which are pricey, but you can use them for years if they're professionally made. Then you fill those with a few drops of a good tooth whitening gel that your dentist orders for you and wear them for a few weeks, either for a whole night, or a few hours each day, depending on what you use. After a few weeks you will notice the effect. At-home whitening gels in high-quality custom trays are the best way to do whitening in my opinion. The faster a method is the less gentle it is on your teeth. You can reuse the trays basically forever (as long as they still fit- they might not if you get work done), teeth get darker again over time. Most of my patients who bleach do it again around every three years, but only have to buy the gel again.

Never, Ever NEVER buy anything off the internet. There are charlatans and copycats that will sell you fakes, and at worst poison. Your dentist can order directly from a reputable manufacturer or make sure you order the right product for you directly from them.

In conclusion:

There is no substitute for getting into a dentist's chair.

The most natural way to whiten your teeth is to have them professionally cleaned and brush well at home.

Teeth are a pale yellow not a stark white in their natural state.

Hollywood teeth are not real and you shouldn't beat yourself up for not having them.

Go see a dentist IRL.

[shattered-earth]

If you can’t afford it.. you can draw it........ LOL

ring by @macabregadgets 

[diedbutterflies69]

Will you stay?- Bang Chan imagine.

Contains: friends to lovers au. , Divorce, smut, fluff, blindfolding, oral sex, explicit sexual stuff etc . Minors don't interact.

Never once on your life, you thought you could get your shit together and laugh genuinely at the worst in world. falling out of love is worse but it's even more worse if it's your it's not you who fell out of love. Married at 22 and the honeymoon phase hardly lasted for a year and by the age of 26 got yourself labelled as a woman who sabotaged her own marriage in thirst of money. Your ex husband was bitter about your success even before you got married. He thought as a woman, you just did bare minimum and got yourself a high positioned rank by sleeping with one of the rich rags. You tried hard enough to hold on to that rotten red string , but he had the scissors and just cut you off. You weren't willing to sacrifice your career just because of his Immature mindset, yes you loved him, but can't a women love her own hard achieved success more? That's the question you wished to ask everyone who pointed there fingers at you. After divorce you didn't feel pain just numbness. Your self-hatred coming more stronger than ever, even hating the job, you tried Saving since years, getting life on track seemed impossible and at the end just quitted. Moved out of the city just to move back to your home town, the root of your real pain. It wasn't really a town but rather a more flashy city, expensive shits which you were unable to afford in childhood but now it wasn't any big deal. Earth is round and sometimes precious people find you all by themselves. Your highschool friend, the only friend you had throughout your lifetime because of your anti social tactics.

Bang Chan, the social butterfly who almost knew every single student in whole school, he was the hottest guy you ever saw in your life and also the kindest. You had crush on him even before you both were friends, he was your senior,used to help you with those shitty math sums, crack jokes every now and then and scolded you whenever you procrastinated. He came to congratulate you even on your graduation day, even though there were many more students whom he met you were still glad atleast someone bought you a beautiful bouquet of tulips and bellflower. The last time you saw him was before you moved out in search of cheap collages without informing him, as you thought you were just one of many friends he had and won't ever notice someone like you existed.

But god, how much wrong you were.

You met Chan after almost 9 years in convince store and his reaction was almost priceless , like finding treasure. He was now more handsome, beautiful and god-like even after all this years his style of dressing didn't Changed much, he still looked like Kim Kardashian at 2021 met Gala. nevertheless his smile still had those healing properties with his Cresent moon eyes. He was absolutely stunning.

The first sentence he spoke after confirming your identity was 'I missed you' and then tons of lectures and questions . Knowing how narrow-minded you were he gasped dramatically. Cheesiest ways of saying how could I forget my best friend and so on. That day was probably the best day of your life and maybe even the day after years you really smiled. You both exchanged numbers and addresses and his home was just 10 minutes away from yours. Destiny indeed.

Now it's been over 7 months since you met Chan again and he never made you felt like you were just one of his 109 friends. Chan made you feel special, after knowing what kind of disaster you faced he was even more supporting of you, you both used to spend weekend together watching variety of shows and movies going to stargazing, best friend goals. After many years you knew even if Chan had many people to confide with he never really did. He was alone, just a night owl obsessed with work. You were happy. And he was happy too. Being just friends was enough for you, but not for him . He was slowly trying to find courage to confess his love to you. He liked you fuck from highschool days. He found you once randomly staring at him across the room and when you suddenly disappeared all his fantasies were scattered, he knew your dreams and was willing to help you with your every step. knowing how messed up your household was from your neighbours he felt guilty for not being able to give you happiness. He loved you, but was helded by his own insecurities.

Not anymore though, he wasn't the same coward who just stared at the love of his life from distance. Being the extra human he was, he bought you one of the most expensive restaurant of the whole country, man was loaded. After driving for almost 5 hours you both finally reached there .

Now a nervous Chan sitting infront of you. You being oblivious to the fact that he has a beautiful diamond ring and a confession to make. Chan handed you the menu card and every single dish had an extraordinary name, without much thought you placed the order.

"atleast tell me now, why are we here?" You asked the man infront of you who was behaving extra weird today, he looked sick and was occassionally asking you random questions.

"No reason, I was in mood for long drives and... You know have a nice meal" Chan said fidgeting with his fingers he was acting like a flustered high school guy it was clearly indicating that he was lying but you didn't really care, Chan was weird sometimes.

"Sounds fake, but okay. By the way you aren't sick right?" You asked Chan out of pure concern as he was sweating profusely even in an cold AC room.

"I am fine, just feeling a little hot. Don't worry", Chan said it was more like he was convincing himself that he was fine and shouldn't worry. He wasn't a teenager but a human with responsibilities who once again fell for someone out of his league, he used to think that and he still sees you as a literal goddess. While he was lost deep in his thoughts, the waiter came with food , and this was his opportunity to shoot his arrow. You both started eating and talked like being in paradise.

"did you liked anyone in highschool?", Chan asked you out of blue making you almost choke on food. The only person whom you liked throughout your highschool days was the guy sitting infront of you and you didn't really remembered much guys and the best answer was probably saying a lie with little truth.

"no one lol", you answered trying to sound chilled but since highschool crush topic was out you weren't able to keep your curiosity with yourself.

"What about you, liked someone?", You asked trying to sound nonchalant and not desperate and bitter.

This was the Exactly the conversation that Chan planned in his mind. And here started his way to either heaven or pit of rejection.

"I loved someone", Chan said and you this time you really choked from the depth of your heart, you thought Chan was anti romantic type of guy as he never talked about of his female friends with you or bragged about his non existent dating life. Trying again to not sound jealous or bitter you spoke again.

" Who was that lucky bit-- I mean girl yes girl? Who was she?", You asked, almost letting out the bitch loudly. You weren't sure but you saw Chan smiling cheekily, he was really getting old acting weird more and more everyday.

"Well... Someone from our school",Chan said and you swear you didn't made a disgusting face showing pure jealousy. The best human in your life and your first ever crush had crush on somebody, you didn't knew why you were feeling so fucking bitter but you weren't able to handle the curiosity anymore.

"Tell me her damn name", you asked Chan in a frustrating tone not being able to keep jealousy to yourself.

"Why you being angry", Chan asked followed by his small laugh.

"I am angry, just the food was a little spicy you answer me now, her name?", You answered Chan with your defenses up and still sticking with your previous question.

Chan in response got a little serious now,you thought he was being childish now, he wasn't a kid who was given a dare to name out his crush yet he was acting like one.

"You won't leave me right, I mean after I answer your question?", Chan asked you and you didn't knew what to say in response you were now a little sus about him.

"fine don't answer, keep secrets", you said and continued eating. The next thing Chan said made you now choke and die on food.

"I loved you and I still love you" Chan said looking down at the table head hanging down like his teenage self just confessed he watched porn infront of his parents. You were shocked, frozen and the your heartbeat 10x faster, you didn't knew how to react and tried to find humor in this extraordinary situation.

"Chan, you kidding right?", You asked Chan with a nervous smile on your face. Chan looked up at you , his eyes trying to find yours but you avoided the eye contact.

"I am serious, I liked you from HighSchool times, I saw you for the first time in library when you were looking at me, I swear you were so beautiful and even now after all this years after seeing you I can't, I can't help but fall for you all over again, sorry"

Chan confessed, his voice filled with sincerity and vulnerability his sentences were scattered here and there and incomplete explanation but still you understood everything he really poured his heart to you, you felt like crying even if you both weren't such stupid cowards back then, then today you won't have turned out a divorced women and Chan a guy who grew out lonely even if he had a world for him.

"What should I say Chan?", You asked Chan you were sounding like a girl whose bf told her to breakup even if the situation was exact opposite. Even if you love Chan , you didn't think about him reciprocating same feelings back to you. You were beyond insecure with your love emotions. One thing was sure you won't be able to love Chan without being a bundle on him. Your emotion Baggage was too big and you didn't want Chan to get his heart too with your stupid emotions.

"I love you and I will be really really good to you. Please try staying with me I will try really hard to earn space in your heart, please?" His confession was like literally begging. You weren't able to believe if he was real or not, if it was a dream that will end as soon as cruel morning comes, this felt like fantasy. Chan was a amazing man, he had everything money ,honour ,beauty a nice heart. He was like a character written by women so perfect so delicate yet strong, and he loves you this fact was enough for to lose your mind. but you thought you were a taint to his beauty, you were a character full of inferior complexes and a person too easy to dislike thats what illusion you made about yourself. A random extra in her own story.

"I will pay the bill, let's talk later", you said and walked away immediately to pay the bill leaving a clueless and disheartened human behind. Chan was able to see how you stopped yourself from saying love you too and throwing yourself in his arms. He wasn't same from HighSchool a guy who gets overwhelmed by his own emotions and gets unable to see others. He knew you had atleast a small space for him in your heart and to make a big room for himself he had to throw out all your insecurities and self hatred. He followed you like a lost puppy and he wanted to pay for food but you already did and now you were already out of restaurant searching for his car to get back.

Chan sitted beside you, without doing anything silence and awkward air surrounding you both.

"start the car", you said breaking down the silence, you were extremely worthless and trash as you made the only one person whom you love feel like nothing.

"Just answer me, will you try dating me please", Chan said his voice again passing draggers into your heart. Trying to form any logical explanation you spoke again.

"I am not looking for relationship right now, see Chan you are amazing, but I can't make you happy now and did you forgot that I am divorced, please understand" you said expressing your real insecurities and fear, fear of not being able to keep a man happy.

"you don't want relationship because you divorced that fucking trash of a man?", Chan asked he was getting frustrated you thought but he just wanted to make you happy and not deny what your heart wants.

"my mind isn't stable, I might just irritate you everytime with my mood, you will will get tired of me and leave me -- I don't want to be alone again I will die if you leave me", you confessed tears threatening to fall out of your eyes there wasn't any doubt that you loved Chan he filled the void in you in just months made you happy but you didn't wanted to just take and take and give nothing in return. Chan's hand found yours interlocking your fingers with so much delicateness that you might cry.

"you think so low of me, just stay by my side I will make you so happy that you will hardly get time to think about your past, trust me", Chan said his fingers slightly lifting your chin up to look into your eyes, you looked in his eyes filled with so much care and this was your last straw before breaking down in his arms.

"I love you, I love you so fuckin much, you were my first love my only friend, my everything, please-- please love me", you confessed tightening your arms around Chan, his scent making you feel safe and like home, his one caressing your hair and other wiping away the tears. Even though the scene was more like a dramatic clique scene whatever emotions you both felt was unexplainable.

"So you my girlfriend now hmm?"Chan asked you for first time in night his voice containing pure happiness and excitement.

"I have a sexy boyfriend", you said smiling from ear to ear against Chan's chest. The label boyfriend making your heart flutter, you didn't knew happiness like this can even exist.

"My love", Chan said his voice sweeter than honey, suddenly the night was more starry."now can we go home?" You asked Chan finally breaking the hug, reality hitted you now Home was 3- 4 hours away.

"I made a reservation in hotel, we gonna spend night there", Chan casually said making your heart jump out of your chest.

"pervert, you planned everything seriously", you said dramatically and giving him a playful digusting look.

"I booked two rooms", Chan said now starting the engine making you feel embarrassed. "Who is pervert now~" Chan said in air teasing you more.

The rest of the ride you both talked about anything and everything. Confessing how you used to find ways to always be in each others vision etc. Both of you finding a new thirsty side of each other. Nothing felt uncomfortable, it was happiness those inhumane laughs crazy tricks you both used to pull everything was heaven. After some time you both reached infront of a gaint hotel , it looked expensive af but regardless Chan knew how to waste money and you were tired of lecturing him about savings.

"let's go", Chan said removing your seatbelt and getting out of car to open the door for ya. He was being so cheesy gentleman and you were enjoying every minute.

"room 42 and 43" Chan said to the receptionist and she handed two keys to him. Thanking her then getting on elevator, you were a little disappointed that you weren't sharing room with Chan, yes you were pervert and total simp for Chan, he was too hot and your sexual drive was getting higher each passing second. The elevator doors opened and you got off. Chan handed you the room key and softly kissed your forehead, both you wished it was your lips.

"if you want anything, just knock okay?" Chan said in his lovely tone, I want you you internally screamed, nevertheless you gave him a nod and got inside that expensive room .

Starring at the ceiling while lying on the bed your mind was full of Chan, you knew he wasn't probably sleeping and was wasting time in watching random shit on internet and you were hungry, hungry for Chan, it wasn't your fault that Chan was so hot. Trying to fall asleep and fidgeting here to there you finally decided to knock on Chan's room door. A danger zone. You noticed how the door flunged open in less than few seconds.

"Hi" you said scratching back of your head and trying to think what next to say.

"Hi..?"Chan said being confused.

"there is cockroach in my room, let me stay with you" you said a clear white lie. Taking impulsive action were never good for you.Chan sighed before opening the door fully and signalling you to come. This was your happiest day ever.

"whY you lying", Chan asked you as you plopped yourself on sofa besides bed. He asked the sentence in a sarcastic way.

"Do you you wanna kiss me?", You asked Chan with a straight serious face catching him off-guard, you didn't wanted to waste more time, you wanted to do everything with Chan, yes fucking on first day of dating was a little too early but you fantasized about this gorgeous man since ages, in your eyes he looked total dom but his reaction to your question was making you doubt your thoughts.

"Are you sure", Chan asked you clearing his throat.

"Are you virgin?"you asked Chan, he was being too nervous.

"Obviously not"Chan answered you in duh tone, rolling his eyes. And it was getting awkward.

"The cockroach must have gone by now I should go, bye", you blabbered and got up ready to leave, you were about to open the door but Chan grabbed your hand and before you knew anything his hands were on your cheeks cupping them softly and his lips so close to yours, Chan's eyes were looking straight in your orbs , your heartbeat stronger than ever.

"Can I?", Chan asked your consent his thumb softly brushing against your lower lip. This man had totally made you insane, something stirred inside you. Chan was perfect he was everything you wished. You gave him a small nod and slowly his lips touched against yours, you wanted to cry, his lips felt so good, he didn't rushed his movements everything was happening in slow motion, he holded you with such a vulnerability like he was afraid that you will go, your hand reached his head, fingers moving through his soft locks. You felt his tongue inside your mouth , you felt a electricity run down your body when the kiss deepened.

We kiss again. The next kiss is the kind that breaks open the sky. It steals my breath and gives it back. It shows me that every other kiss I’ve had in my life has been wrong.

Breaking the kiss Reluctantly in need of air, Chan rested his forehead against yours. He was hot almost like burning, sweating.

"Why are you so nervous, Chan?", You asked Chan hugging him tightly clinging like the last leaf to the tree.

"I am scared, I just love you", He said engulfing you in his arms. And you Finally felt, what real love feels like.

"Love you too", you replied softly.

"Do you wanna continue..?"Chan asked you his tone little less scared.

"Off course", you said looking at him with smile, something inside you told it was okay to let out your freaky side infront of Chan. Chan smiled back and suddenly turned you around , the large bed infront of you.

"Lie down there",Chan whispered in your ears , his low register sending shivers down your spine. This was exactly how you pictured Chan to be, your inner submissive almost died. You followed Chan's word and laid on your back on the bed, now you were feeling like a virgin. His eyes roaming through the room in search of something.

"Are you okay with being blindfolded?", Chan asked you as he came back with the tie he wore today and was rolling it slightly in his palms, and you swear you never saw a man so hot in your entire life. Getting blindfolded was one of your unfulfilled kinks.

"ye- yes", you replied your tone filled with thrill and excitement. Chan came back to you standing near you, his hand softly cupped your cheeks , before bringing the tie to use it in sinistrous way tonight. The cloth felt strange to your eyes, his cologne smell hitting you and Chan caught your shy smile, His heart felt so fluffy. Tieing a comfortable knot Chan sat on bed near your waist. His hands slowly crept near your stomach leaving a direct lingering touch on the sensitive skin, eventually going upwards while giving a little squeeze to add stimulation, his hands reached your boobs, you didn't wore bra, and he wasn't surprised maybe your nipples perked up enough to get noticed, his middle and index finger Rolling your sensitive bundle of nerves, the blindfold making his every touch more intense, your breath was heavy you let out a suprised moan when Chan gropped your right boob in an erotic way, this sole action increasing your wetness down there you were getting impatient. You moaned his name a little loudly when his lips came in contact with your sensitive neck, sucking in a painful way, inorder to leave a hickey.

"Should I touch you here", Chan asked you as his hand reached to your area where you needed him to the most, hands going directly inside your panties ,but not touching he was a teaser.

"yes please", you moaned almost breathlessly too tired of intense foreplay. You just wanted Chan to rip off your clothes and fuck you till sunrise. Getting satisfaction with your answer Chan finally removed every clothing of your lower body, leaving you completely bare, all at his mercy. His finger moved up and down on your opening , the wetness making Chan easily slip his one finger deep inside you.

" my baby is so wet, because of who?", Chan asked you as his finger was moving slowly inside of you and thumb rubbing circles on the bundle of nerves.

"because of.. you", you admitted without any hesitation trying to grind yourself on his hand, begging for more.

"Good", Chan said and without saying anything he added another finger inside you moving a little faster inside your cunt, rubbing your walls with a little pressure, scissoring them inside you painfully and making way for a third finger too and by then you were a complete moaning mess, his fingers were pleasure yet torture the blindfold making your senses weak. Mind full of whatever Cham was giving you. Your legs were shaking sign of your orgasm approaching you, by one hand Chan holded your thighs tightly to their place fingers now moving more faster to make you reach the peak of pleasure.

"Chan.. I--I-I-- wanna cum please", you moaned your little squeaks and begs almost making Chan's cock cum right inside boxers. With some final thrust of his fingers, you cummed the hardest you could imagine, squeaky sounds coming as Chan was fingering you through your orgasm, you almost crying from overstimulation. Moaning his name like a chant.

"you did well",Chan praised you finally removing his fingers from you leaving you empty, but it won't have last wrong. Chan removed your blindfold , the bright lights hurting your eyes, you adjusted your vision and the image of Chan sucking his wet fingers coated with your liquid came directly in front of your eyes. Letting out a helpless whine.

Chan plopped himself on knees on either side of your thighs, finally letting his cock out, leaking with precum, and he was big, thick , you didn't thought he could get even hotter.

"Ready baby?", Chan asked you as he fully undressed himself as well as removing your top, your mind hazey . The scene which you pictured since highschool finally happening.

"yes", you replied Chan, he came down to kiss you passionately and slowly entering inside you. You moaned painfully, tears pulling your vision, it was a painful pleasure. Chan kissed away your tears and hand interlocking with yours after finally being fully inside you he started to move at slow pace.

"you feel so good Chan", almost screaming from pleasure, your whines were fuel to Chan's ego and he increased the pace. Body slapping sound filling the room, his groans were most sexy thing you ever heard. Again and again his tip hitting your deepest spots.

"I am close", you moaned out breathlessly, pleasure becaming too much to handle .you released around his cock, reaching the peak second time at night.

After giving a few more thrusts Chan cummed at your stomach, he was still sane enough to not curse you with kids while being lost in pleasure."I love you", he said as he settled beside you hugging you tightly. This was heaven.

"love you too", you said , your voice a little hoarse.

"by the way I forgot that I bought a ring to propose you", Chan said, realisation hitting him, that he forgot to say the long ass paragraph that he was supposed to say while sitting on one knee. You smiled at his guilty face.

"don't worry, propose me after having shower", you said heart filled with pure joy and happiness . Happiness of knowing that You love someone who will always love you back.

[starlightxsvt]

Sweeter Than Sweets

Pairing ➳ CEO!seungcheol x baker female!reader

Genre ➳ kinda enemies to lovers, arranged marriage au, romance, angst?? clicheeee :)

Warnings ➳ hella cursing, reader's going through a lot lol

Word count ➳ 2.5k

part 1 l part 2

Part 1: THE BEGINNING

The plot owner is going to visit you today. I'm sincerely sorry for my mistake, I misunderstood. Please resolve the issue with him gently.

You scoff at the message. What the actual fuck? Fury floods through your blood and you clench your fists.

This cannot be happening.

After such a long time you had finally scraped enough money to lease a place for your bakery shop. It's been your dream since so long and after years of hard work it was finally coming true- until today. Apparently the real estate agent is nothing but a fathead and for whatever goddamn reason, she leased you the place when it was clearly not up to be leased. The building owner is on his way now- to possibly kick you out.

No, you cannot let that happen. It is their fault and because of their miscommunication or whatever you are not going to give this place up which you worked so hard for.

If he thinks you'll give in so easily, he has another thing coming.

A Mercedes Benz pulls up in front of your shop just as you finish screwing one of the decoration lights.

He's here.

You take in a deep breath and march out of the shop as a tall male comes of the car. You almost stop in your tracks to gape at him- broad shoulders, gorgeous rich black hair that matches a sculptured face- he's simply breathtaking. No one should be that gorgeous. And he's young- why the fuck is he so young? Does he seriously own this building?

No no no. Stay focused.

He takes long steps towards you and even before he can reach you, you snap, "I'm not giving up this place so don't waste your time."

He stops right in front of you, his hands in his pockets and raises a brow at you. He chuckles- how dare he, before saying, "You do know that this is my building, right?"

"So?"

"So, it means I can kick out a nuisance like you anytime I want." His eyes go dark as he stares you down.

Nuisance? What the fuck? You take in a deep breath, trying to stop yourself from reaching out and choking him. He's so fucking gorgeous and infuriating, damn it.

"Mr. Choi, I've leased this place for two years and if you want it so much, come back two years later and we can talk about it."

"Leave while I'm being polite," his tone is gravelly and his eyes bore into yours. You shiver slightly.

"But I paid for this place! This is mine now!" You yell, unable to hold yourself together. "If you were so concerned about your building then you should have been careful that your agent was leasing it!"

"I admit that it was her fault, a huge one at that matter but I need this building. I'll give you 3 days to take everything and leave. My workers will start their renovation work from next week." He says and turns around his heel, ready to head back.

"No! I will not be moving out! I've worked so hard to lease this place! I even brought all the furniture for my shop! You have no right to do this!" You shout at him. Fuck that son of a bitch.

He stares at you with a bored look, "You've 3 days."

"No!" You whine, stopping him in his tracks again. "If you really want this place then give me some more time. At least a few months."

He marches back to you, his jaw ticking, "Do you think I'm here to play games? You move out in 3 days or my men will drag you out from here." He warns, eyes glinting.

Motherf-

You can't hold in your temper. So you walk past him and towards his fancy car and draw a long nice scratch on the body using your screwdriver. After being satisfied with your handiwork, you turn back to him.

He stares at you, dumbfounded. His driver looks the same except he looks a bit scared. You smirk at Choi, crossing your arms.

He still looks surprised and he scoffs as if he can't believe what happened. He rakes a hand through his hair, his jaw clenched.

"Expect a call from my insurance company. You'll have to pay for what you just did." That's all he says before walking past you to car as his driver quickly fires on the engine.

You mutely watch him leave.

Fuck. Oh fuck.

What have you done?

-

You stare at Choi's personal number that you managed to get from the real estate agent. Shit. You've to call him. You've to apologize. You're in no condition to pay for his damn fancy car.

Shit. Shit. Why did you do that?

You bite your lip, staring at your phone screen, mustering up the courage to call him. You've to apologize and somehow get him to forgive you.

Oh heavens, here goes nothing.

With shaky hands you ring him up and hold your breath. After several rings he picks up, his voice gruff, "Choi here."

You clear your throat and inhale deeply, "Mr.Choi, it's me, ___. We...uhm, met earlier today." You try to stable your voice.

The line is silent for a moment and you're afraid he has hung up but he speaks, his voice laced with a chuckle, "Well, well, to what do I owe this pleasure?"

You swallow, "Mr.Choi I called you to um... apologize for what I did to your car. Please understand that I was really angry then and I sincerely apologize for what I did. I'm so sorry."

"Okay," is all he says. You ask nervously, "So, will be please be kind enough to cancel the charges against me?"

"Do you think that a sorry from you will repair my car?"

"I- please, sir, you've to understand that I'm in no condition to afford for the damages... I-I know I'm responsible but please understand-"

"You want to keep the place to yourself, you want me to drop the charges against you- what you think I am? Some sort of genie who'll grant all your wishes?"

"No- sir-"

"Besides you don't even sound so sorry," His voice sounds teasing and you exhale loudly.

This son of a-

"I don't have time for this bullshit so-"

"No sir please! I'll do anything, please cancel the charges. Then we can talk about your building, I'm sure we can come to a conclusion."

"Are you trying to make a deal with me?"

"Sir- I just-, please, please understand my situation," you almost beg.

The line is quiet for a long time and you're about to break into tears but then you hear his voice, "Fine, I'll text you a place. Meet me there at 8 tomorrow evening. Don't be late." Then the line is dead.

-

You're not dumb enough to go where a stranger tells you to go without telling anybody. So, on the morning of the appointment, you tell your friend the location of the restaurant and in case you were found with a slitted throat, at least the police will have a lead. After that you decide to google Choi, wanting to have a little bit more info on him. Sure enough, he's the son of a filthy rich businessman well known in the country and Choi, himself is the creator of two business companies.

Sure, it'd be nothing for him to dump your body in the water or poison your food.

-

Evening comes quicker than you expected and you rush to get ready. You pick a maroon knee length dress that is what you believe- hope- to be appropriate for the fancy restaurant. It's not like you have a lot of dresses to choose from. You take a cab and just as the clock hits five minutes past eight, you're rushing into the restaurant.

The receptionist asks you if have booked a seat to which you reply that you're here to meet Mr.Choi. Then you're led through a fancy lobby and into the private dining area, where the said male sits. He's dressed in a grey vest and a pressed linen white shirt underneath, with the sleeves rolled up, showing his muscular arms- damn.

His eyes meet yours and you feel an electricity jolt up your spine.

Lord please help me tonight.

"Good evening, Mr.Choi," you murmur, gently sitting down.

The bastard has the balls to smirk as he crosses his arms over his chest, "Good evening, Ms___. I was wondering if you bailed out on me."

You chuckle nervously, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. He grins, motioning towards the menu in front of you,"Shall we order?"

Your eyes glide over the fancy food and the fancier prices. 85$ for a fucking piece of meat?

After chewing on your lip and thinking too much about what to order, you go with a plate of salad and pasta.

"Do you have any wine preferences?" He asks, eyeing the wine menu. Why's he acting so nice? What's his deal?

"Er...I'll let you choose," you say.

After ordering a fancy bottle of wine, Choi folds his hands over the table and looks at you, a small smile playing on his lips.

"So..shall we talk business now?" You offer, unsure.

He nods but stays quiet which you take as a sign to start first, "I only have two things to ask for. Please cancel the charges and please give me a little more time to look for a place. It's impossible to find another place in 3 days. I've paid for the lease here and I've also ordered the furniture. And then there is a monetary issue. Please understand my situation."

He pretends to think, pursuing his lips, "Hmm, I'm afraid that's too much you're asking from me."

"Mr. Choi, I'm sure a man like you can help me with that much." You try to butter his ego.

"Again, I'm afraid you don't know me. If you had any idea about a man like me, you wouldn't say that." His eyes darken.

Fuck. He won't bulge. Why is he so stubborn?

"Sir- please, I sincerely apologize for my actions yesterday, I wasn't in my right mind."

"If only sorry could cover it," he says, nonchalant, leaning back into his chair. He eyes you quietly, his eyes scanning you carefully as your palms grow sweaty.

You are interrupted as the waiter serves you your dinner and pours you the wine. As soon as he's gone, you gulp down the wine, trying to calm yourself.

Damn, it tastes nice.

Choi laughs at your actions before an evil smile crawls up his face. You swallow, meeting his gaze. What's he thinking?

"You see, nothing comes for free. I'll take off the charges against you and I'll give you time to look for another place- actually no, I'll pay for a nicer place for you to open your shop. But in return you've to give me something."

Fuck. You eye him warily.

"What?" You squeak.

"Marry me."

You choke on your food very unceremoniously followed by a lot of coughs. You sputter, trying to get yourself under control. Meanwhile he simply watches you, a playful smile on his lips.

When you can somewhat speak, you breath, "I...I think I misheard you."

"You didn't. I asked you to marry me."

You gape at him, utterly confused, almost certain this is a dream or nightmare. He simply offers you silence as you try to process what he said.

You're left even more confused.

What? Marry him? What the actual fuck?

"Would you please... enlighten me?" You murmur.

He grins, leaning over the table, "You're thinking too much. It'll be a pretend marriage. I need someone who'll pretend to be my wife for a year or so, so that my father hands over his company to me- which he won't unless I get married and settle. It's as simple as that."

Your mouth only grows wider. That's nowhere near simple.

After processing his words in your head for a long time you mumble, "So...you need me to be your pretend wife for like a year and in return you cancel the charges and give me more time to look for a place?"

"It's actually more than that sweetheart. I'll pay every penny for your shop. I'll make sure you have a successful business. Be my pretend wife and I'll give you the biggest and best bakery shop this country has ever seen."

You're dumbfounded and you can only squeak out, "Is this some sort of a hoax?"

He chuckles, "Say yes and I'll have a contract prepared with all our terms and conditions."

"I- I need to think about it," you rush out. Think? Damn it, were you seriously considering it?

Yes, yes you were.

This is a lifetime opportunity.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Choi nods, "I'm sure you need to. But I expect an answer quickly. You've until tomorrow evening."

"H-huh?" You're lost.

He stands up putting on his jacket, "You've my number, call me when you make your decision." He gives you a look and just like that he's out of the room.

You're left with your half eaten plate of food.

-

"So you are telling me that a filthy rich, smoking hot motherfucker asked you to marry him?" Jane's voice echos through the phone.

You rub your temples, staring at your lap, "Yes."

"Bitch if you don't want to do this then give me his number. I'm more than willing to help him out."

"Jane, I'm serious."

"Me too, babe."

You groan, flopping into the bed. "Can you believe it? I still can't wrap my head around it." You whisper.

"You're thinking too much. It's not like you're going to be married to him forever."

"I know but still it's so scary...If I say yes I'll be living with a stranger for the next year."

"A sexy as sin stranger for that matter."

"Gosh- will you stop!"

"Okay okay," you hear her sigh. "Listen I know it's scary and all but this is a win win situation for you, think about it. You're going to be living as a millionaire's wife and when you're divorced you're gonna have your own shop. This is a lifetime opportunity, I mean how many of us gets this? This is like one of those romance movies where-"

"Okay I get it. Thank you for your precious help." You roll your eyes.

" You're welcome!" She laughs. "I'll be waiting for updates!"

"Piss off." You laugh, hanging up.

You stare at the ceiling, your mind numb. This is overwhelming- unreal. Why can't he just marry someone prettier, richer? He can have any woman he wants. Dozens of questions gather in your mind but despite the answers, you've made your decision.

You're going to get married.

A/N ➳ heyyy~ it's ya girl's birthday today lol! I've been wanting to write a fic like this for quite a while but yk, couldn't muster up the courage. Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it! Please please leave your feedbacks, my ask box is always open- I'll really appreciate it! 💖

Masterlist

Tag list: @chimikima @all-i-needislovee @peekabooseoksoon @masterpiecejoonie @sorrywonwoo @sweetiescoops @diamondsvts @insidesvt @bononswife @ayla-hathway @kpopssuregi @justasoftstan @top-crop @wainrain

[otakusparkle]

Tbh, sometimes I think about "Who is the real Identity V mascot ?" Most peeps will answer with "It's Emma" but I will answer with "It's that fuckingly handsome seer named Eli Clark"

Why you ask ? Because I'm tired of buying so many merch of him aka the birbboi aka Eli fucking Clark 😭😭😭 This is the struggle of being an Eli Clark's simp 😭

Like for real. This year, he had so fucking many merchandise (not to mention his Conan crossover skins and his new other skins). Why not somebody else ? WHY NOT EMMA ?! SHE'S THE MASCOT OF IDV ! Tbh not just Eli, but everyone from team ANNE aka Aesop, Naib, Norton, and Eli or team VALE aka Victor, Andrew, Luca, and Edgar is the one who always getting so many new merchandises. From cafe's collab to limited series. My question is, why it's always those guys ? :'D Just because they superly attractive doesn't mean that the other are not 'buyable' (also we (ANNE and VALE simps) need rest for wasting money for our so-much-attractive-man main)

Btw up until now I never see Ganji's merch, other than his Lava cake mini plush... He's also handsome and attractive and most of all he's also soldable candidate right ? Take notes NE, take notes.

Btw I will rambling (shitposting) about that Seer named Eli Clark so if you don't want to read this, just ignore it and continue scrolling to other blogs. Good luck 👍✨✨✨ Btw most picture here are bad quality because Tumblr can't make me uploaded so many pictures but if you want the HD version, I will give you the link to download them (I mostly get this pict from Official Twitter and website)

From being an animal (why this sound so weird lol)

To the godly fairytale series

From super expensive wedding ring and pendant

To super fantastically cute yet affordable figure

From this cutely little ball of happiness

To this amazingly beautiful woman man

From an anniversary party

To a party of cats // wha-

From the 'renaissance' era

To the modern society

Eli Clark can be anything BUT FOR REAL GIMME A BREAK NE 😭😭😭😭😭 I NEED THE MONEY FOR OTHER THINGS TOO *SCREAMING INTENSIFITIES*

(I love you so much Eli Clark 🤧❤️❤️❤️)

[sweetestlamb]

Frozen Inside

Summary: You need to remember your place. 

Author's note: Chapter 9 is here! Taking a break from these two was pretty hard for me I just love them so much and love writing them in this world I created. As mentioned before this chapter includes a character that someone suggested I use to stir the Junjin pot little, if anyone can guess who this extraordinary character is I will give you a cyber cookie LOL. Just a minor heads up to the person who suggested it, I don’t sympathize with this character as much as others did but I will try to give him some depth and not completely vilify him. But thank you for the suggestion! Hope you all enjoy, writing the ending kinda broke my heart a little so any positive words would be very welcome right now. 

The bus ride is far too quick, he’s already loathing the moment when his shoulder will no longer be brushing "accidentally" against hers and he has to suppress a groan when someone rings the bell and he realizes this is their stop. She'd been acting uncharacteristically adorable after his honest statement earlier, running away as soon as the bus arrived as if she'd never gazed upon herself in a reflective surface before. She was beautiful, it wasn't something that was subjective it was just a fact. But once they entered the bus she made her way to a single seater by the window obviously trying to get away from him, he'd easily tugged her away by her backpack forcing her to a double seater in the back instead.

They were sitting together, there were already straying eyes watching her every move. Some from their schools and others just strangers who didn't bother to hide their interest in her, eying her up salaciously and and piquing his desire to throw hands. They were all lucky he had an important date after school, he couldn’t afford to get trouble right now.

She'd glared at him and swung her arms latching on to a metal handle trying to stop him but he was stronger than her, with a huff he pulled her with him and made her sit in the inner seat so he could bracket her in and marginally hide her form from the predatory looks.

Her leg brushed against his before moving away, so quickly he almost thought he imagined the whole thing. But then it happened again. He glanced over discretely at the tail of his eye.

He'd never seen Sujin fidget before. Didn't know her bones were capable of such a function but he had felt her jiggling knee knock into his own and learned that even an ice princess like her got embarrassed. He swallowed the immense pride that erupted at the realization that he was the one making her act this way. Completely out of her character.

"It's our stop." She whispers staring at the floor, eyes refusing to look up.

He's tempted to ignore her and see if that will make her look at him, now that he's been the center of her attention- that hug is burned into his mind- he is greedy for more, her resistance makes him even more desperate.

But he wordlessly stands up instead sliding out of the seat and opening the back door for them, she only pauses minutely before skipping down the stairs and exiting the bus. Her short pleated skirt bounces precariously with every movement and he's temporarily distracted gazing at the smooth expanse of milky skin, why were the school skirts so short anyway? Sujin's barely reached her knee, stopping in the meat of her thigh. Maybe he should start a school petition to get longer skirts for the girls. The boys probably wouldn’t be in agreement though. Perverts. 

His stomach clenches at the thought of others staring too, maybe he could at least convince her to tie the sweater around her waist instead of wearing it normally. It was worth a try at least.

"We probably shouldn't walk in together, your fangirls will go cra--"

He interrupts her, not paying at all to what she's suggesting because he has no intentions of separating from her. She's so exhausting with all this push and pull honestly. He already told her that they don't matter.

"Isn't your skirt too short?" 

He keeps walking without looking over at her, realizing too late how bold his question is. 

He stops when he realizes that she's no longer beside him, twisting left and right before turning around and seeing her a few paces behind. He almost sighs in relief much more familiar with this particular emotion etched on her face, annoyance and mild rage- the patented princess look™️ and he backs up looking at her with a lifted brow, silently questioning her inactivity.

"What did you say to me Han Seojun?" She admonishes staring at him like he's grown another head and she’s ready to decapitate them both, she also steps into his space tilting her angry face to glare directly into his face. She looks prepared to murder him and hide the body.

He's not stupid enough to repeat his gutsy idiotic question, he very much likes his face the way it's currently arranged. He might be stupid but he's not that stupid.

"Me? Nothing. I would never say anything, I don't deserve to speak in your presence." He flutters his eyelashes dramatically, speaking in an exaggerated cute voice and she stares blankly at first. Both of them searching the others face before the tension is snapped like a rubber band and she pushes him in the chest, he almost whines reaching out to grab her wrist before he sees the small smile on her face, its hidden instantly behind the curtain of her hair when she moves away but he sees it and he feels his chest palpitate.

He stands staring in wonder. Lost in her spell.

He's never been a gracious loser but she gives him no chance in the matter.

He stares at her back, cheeks hurting as beams at her bounding off in his sweater. It's hers now he will never be able to wear it again without remembering her in it, it's been ruined in the best possible way. 

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Chorong struggles to carry all the cards he pushes at him, the female population seems to have decided that he was sick and his return results in high pitched screams of his name and a constant stream of food and gifts being shoved in his direction, despite his refusal. He's wandering the halls arm filled with the gifts when he runs into Sujin, her face brightens upon seeing him before she glances down at his arms. The pretty smile is thwarted before it can even comes to full fruition, her eyes turning cold before she stomps past him.

He smirks at her back, chuckling as Chorong stares in confusion before asking, "What's wrong with her?" He shakes his head before handing the bigger boy all the unwanted gifts, her smile was worth more than all of this anyway.

Lunch can't come soon enough and he happily swaggers into the bustling room, oblivious to the amount of hungry eyes that latch onto his form. His own eyes too busy locking on one figure and one figure alone.

The seat across from her is conveniently empty and he laughs into his sleeve when Jukyeong waves him over, smiling with conspiration at him pointing at the empty seat without an ounce of subtlety, giving him a thumbs up. He can't control his laughter when Sujin turns to the girl and to hide her damning thumb the clumsy girl pokes herself in the eye. He definitely owed her now that looked mighty painful. 

Suho nods at him as he takes his seat, he returns the gesture. Watching as the usually stoic boy reaches across to comfort his girlfriend, stroking her hair and blowing gently into her teary red eye as she whines loudly.

He opens his backpack taking out the food the girl avoiding him like the plague had given him just this morning. The dumplings are perfect this time she's clearly figured out a technique now, and when he bites into them a delicious umami flavor explodes on his tongue. He groans in pleasure before stuffing another dumpling in his mouth eagerly.

"Wow those look amazing! Did your mom make them?" Su-ah calls across the table and he freezes mid-chew instinctively looking at the real culprit and her eyes are already on him, wide and then pleading. He knows what she's begging from him but he really really wants to disobey and tell everyone that she made them for him. That the same Kang Sujin, who served men roundhouse kicks and resting bitch faces for lunch had made him food and was sitting there eating a lunch he had prepared for her.

It sounds so domestic and he has to bite his tongue to stop himself from doing something she'll regret.

But she's not ready it's too evident and he's not inconsiderate nor selfish. Whatever this is, it's far too new and fragile for him to throw it to the wolves before it's on stable grounding.

"No my mom didn't make it." He answers honestly and he can feel the cold air wafting off Sujin in frigid waves and then he feels a sharp kick to his ankle, he has to grab her feet with his legs to stop her from delivering another blow. He probably shouldn't find her violent tendencies so attractive. He clearly isn't right in the head.

"Someone else made it. Someone special." He continues trying not to wince as she tries to attack him again. Immediately the table erupts into ohs and everyone starts talking at once except her best friends who look on with smirks, Su-ah playfully winking at him.

"Someone special? Who? Who made it? Do you have a girlfriend?"

Sujin spontaneously starts choking on her blueberry milk, the very one he'd packed in her lunch bag this morning the pale blue liquid spilling out the corners of her lips. He passes her a napkin immediately, their fingers brushing as she takes the paper from his grip wiping her face and looking sheepish once she realizes that all eyes are on her now.

"Are you okay?" He asks amused, looking at her with a smile barely hidden. So fucking cute.

"Yeah don't worry about me." She breezily replies struggling to escape from his tight grip under the table, unbeknownst to everyone there. But her cold statement only reminds me of their meeting in the hospital. Her words echoing in his heart, I'm going to worry about you. Who are you to tell me not to? Let me do what I want. Hearing those words made him want to stupidly put himself in more scenarios that would result in her concern, maybe he'd get another hug. Or a even a ki--

"Don't think we forgot! Who made you this food Seojun-ah?" Chorong breaks his concentration and he stares incredulously at the other boy, his words were meant to trick everyone else but his best friend should know who he was referring to; he'd been the one to deliver the food for him after all. Wasn't it clear who he liked? Who might be making him food in return?

He sighs shaking his head, glancing up at Sujin from under his fringe feeling warm all over.

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It's hard to tail him without making it too obvious but she tells Jukyeong and Su-ah that she has something to do before running after Seojun at a distance. She misses the knowing look on both of their faces as they watch her conspicuously hide behind a very thin tree. He had offered to wait for her but she didn't need his fanclub seeing them leaving together, they were so possessive of the boy. It didn't matter that he never showed any interest in them they were all still convinced that he belonged to them.

She didn't see him making food for any of them so she didn't know how they reached this asinine conclusion but she'd rather stay off their radar.

"Are you practicing to be a national spy? Why didn't you come when I offered to wait for you?" They are far from the school now, miles but she still looks around nervously before speeding up finally allowing them to walk side by side. He looks over at her fondly, she looks away unable to maintain eye contact when he's acting like this. It doesn't help that she can feel her walls weakening, she was tempted to accept his offer earlier. To walk with him side by side and let everyone see, she was losing her mind.

"I didn't want to be murdered by your girls." She teases, the words fall flat because as soon as she utters them she feels sick to her stomach.

A huge hand suddenly wraps around her wrist halting her, warm even through the stick material of the gifted sweater.

She turns to look at him bewildered, even more so at the hard look on his face. Those exotically sloping eyes even thinner than usual as he pulls her closer. She gulps, hard. Looking at him as his eyes peruse her face slowly, full of dark intention her blood simmers hot under the matching gaze.

"They aren't my girls. You know that." The emphasis and bite on the word makes her uneasy, refusing to think about the implications of his words. A sheen of sweat raises on her back, and she gently tugs her arm away scoffing to tear through the thick cloud of tension that is loitering between them.

"I was just joking. You don't have to be so serious. Let's go." She awkwardly rubs at her wrist before bolting away, scared to continue this line of conversation. Something has changed between them and she has no idea how and if they can go back to the way things were.

A little voice in her head whispers, Is that really what want you?

How is she supposed to know what she wants? Up until this point that has never mattered to anyone, she was just expected to do as she was told. Speak when spoken to. Everything about this is foreign and terrifying. Knowing that he'll be there to catch her if she falls is more nerve wrecking than anything she's faced thus far.

It's better not to think about it especially with where they're going, but thinking about that makes her even more nervous. She fidgets with the sleeve of the huge sweater, tugging at the extra material that folds over her hands. She suddenly realizes that she's completely covered in Seojun, this wasn't her best idea but she can't bring herself to remove the sweater.

She's never felt so warm.

"You can wait inside, I need to get something." He suddenly pats her head ruffling her hair and she reaches up to push his hand away only to be entranced by the grin on his face, has his smile always been that illuminant or is this reserved just for her?

She nods frozen watching him walk further and further away, until he turns a corner and disappears. She takes a deep breath centering herself before, able to breathe easier now without him sucking up all the air with his magnetic energy.

It's weird being back at the hospital especially alone, she hesitates at the entrance before finally entering. She expects trouble at the front desk seeing as how she's not family but the nurses smile at her knowingly.

"You're back. Room 105. Straight down the hall."

She shifts uncomfortably but nods her head in gratitude before walking down the hall. There are a row of free seats and she eases down into one, Seojun still isn't back and she can't very well just go into the room. She's basically a stranger, right?

Luckily she brought along homework, she can put this time to good use and complete some while Seojun gets whatever he needs that so important that he abandoned her all alone.

Minutes trickle by and she gets lost in her history homework highlighting dates and names of Kings, stopping at King Cheoljong when she hears the patter of footsteps and instinctively she glances up meeting huge round bespectacled eyes.

"Unnie! What are doing here?" Gowoon rushes over grabbing her hands, she flinches at the sudden touch on her rough hands and she coughs discretely pulling away, tucking the mutilated appendages away. She smiles disarmingly to ease any offenses that movement might have caused. The younger girl smiles back easily, not commenting at all on the action. She mentally thanks her.

"I heard your mother was hospitalized, I thought it would be okay if I visited her?" She suddenly feels extremely insecure about her presence here. Why had she assumed that she was welcome here after only meeting them once? She was getting too confident and it was a dangerous way to live, it often led to heartache.

Like now, she could pretend that it didn't matter if Seojun's mother didn't want to see her but if she was rejected it would hurt, she was the first maternal figure that had ever shown her any type of authentic kindness. Jukyeong's mom was ardent about regaling how pretty she thought she was but she'd heard that growing up, from her father as he bragged about how many suitors she would have and how resourceful that would be. So the words didn't do much but remind her of that, her supposed beauty had been weaponized long ago. She hated the constant reminder, as if her looks were all she had to offer to the world. 

You didn't feel that way when he said it though. You liked it.

She shakes her head clearing away such traitorous thoughts.

"Unnie, of course you're welcome. Mom will be so happy to see you. I just meant why are you out here, come on let's go greet her!"

She barely has a chance to stuff her book back into her bag before the eager girl is yanking her away. She tries to fight the hold but it's useless and with a swipe of her hand Gowoon slides open the door, tugging her into the airy hospital room.

Her heart thunders in her chest.

She wants to disappear.

"Mom we're here!" Gowoon announces happily vibrating with youthful energy. Her eyes are glued to the checkered floor as she bows silently in greeting.

"H-hello again. I don't know if you remember me but I'm--"

"Sujin sweetie! Why are you acting so formal? Come, come. How have you been? Are you eating all your meals?" The older woman bulldozes past her stilted greeting, pointing to an empty chair next to her bed. She swallows before walking over and sitting down. Gowoon ambles over too hopping onto the edge of her mother's bed, immediately launching into a retelling of her day. She listens heart heavy at being so easily invited into such an intimate moment.

"What about you Sujin? How was your day?" She jumps at the inquiry, looking up to see both women watching her avidly waiting for her reply. This feels foreign, nobody has ever asked her about her day before.

"Um...it was okay. I got a 100 on my math test. I'm eating all my meals. I...um I had a good lunch." She stutters out foolishly adding the last line, thankful that Seojun isn't here to hear the praise who knows how he would have behaved? Surely his mother and sister don’t know that he has been making her food so the comment will be harmless. 

An easy smile slides across the mother's face, "Is that so? I'm glad you enjoyed your lunch dear. Great job on your test! If only these kids would come home with news like that." She pokes Gowoon in her belly, to which the other girl folds her arm and humphs sticking out her tongue.

"We can't all be Kang Sujin, beautiful and intelligent like I would get that lucky?" She blushes embarrassed at the compliment waving her arm to brush the words away.

"Hey! What are you saying? You're my sister. I have enough of both of those for both of us." A deep voice sounds from the door and she turns to look at the boy, the fragrant scent of flowers filling the room. He crosses the room in long steps depositing them in an empty vase on the windowsill. They are in a perfect position to receive all the sun's magnificent rays.

So that's where he had been.

Gowoon scoffs at him, grumbling about narcissism and big headed boys but she grows silent as Seojun walks over to her. 

He hands a smaller bundle to Gowoon, unlike the white lilies in the vase this bouquet is vibrant with hues of vivid blues, purples and fuchsia , it matches the girls personality perfectly and the smile that laces across her pretty face is enough to singlehandedly sustain the flowers.

"You got me flowers too?" Gowoon asks voice full of suspicion as she accepts the flowers, dipping her nose to sniff at them. She hums excitedly clutching them closer to her chest beaming at her brother.

"I was already there. I figured why not?" He tries to downplay the kind act but she catches the slight pink on his high cheekbones.

It's such a wholesome scene. She feels as if she's intruding by simply being there, especially when she sees the serene smile on their mother’s face watching her children, her pride is palpable. 

"Thanks oppa."

He shrugs rubbing his neck, "You're welcome brat."

"What about that bouquet who's that for?" Gowoon innocently asks pointing to another bouquet that was partially hidden in his bomber jacket, bringing her attention to the last bundle in his hands inside a brown bag with a small blue bow tied at the base of the stems.

The pink changes to red.

He awkwardly shuffles under all their watchful eyes, staring out the window with intense focus as if it as the secrets to life.

"Oh my god, I know!" Gowoon exclaims snickering now as she bounces gleefully on the bed. She squirms in her seat trying to think of a believable excuse to leave the room, it couldn't really be for her right? He wasn't crazy enough to give her flowers in front of his family. Right?

"You have a crush on one of the nurses don't you? Seriously oppa, they're all too old for you. You're going to make them uncomfortable, they're just doing their job." Gowoon scolds him wagging her finger and pushing her glasses up the small bridge of her button nose.  

Oh.

That made sense. They were for one of the nurses, probably the pretty that had allowed them to stay so late the other night. She had once again gotten ahead of herself, stupid. She should be relieved anyway this was better, if he had another crush then this thing between them would fade away and she'd stop feeling like she was walking on eggshells around him.

"What are you babbling about now? This isn't one of her dramas. I told you I was already there they aren't a big deal. Here, take it." He glares at his sister and shocks Sujin when he turns and thrusts the delicate bouquet at her, roughly placing them in her lap when she doesn’t accept them right away before taking the second empty seat next to his mother's bed. He pointedly avoids eye contact with all of them and she stares down at the flowers in her lap with her mouth open.

They are lovely, deep blues at the base that lightens as your eyes traverse the length of the flowers, baby blue fades to a piercing white making the bouquet look like a work of art itself.

"Oh they're for unnie. Okay. Good I thought you were trying to flirt." Gowoon dismisses the flowers now, turning back to her mother and continuing her story about her day ignoring them both now. She can feel Seojun's eyes hot on her face but she's unable to look away from the flowers in her lap.

Idiot.

She watches the family easily conversing never a lull in their animated conversation and she finally excuses herself, lying about going to find a bathroom. Nobody questions why she's bringing the flowers with her gratefully, she has no plausible reason for why she can't put the flowers down. Seojun stares at her unblinking but he lets her escape without question.

She leans against the solid wall outside the room as soon as the door slides shut, closing her eyes.

In, out. In, out. She coaches herself gulping in air pushing away the light-headed sensation at the base of her skull.

"You still have these pathetic attacks?" Her blood runs cold as the voice she hasn't heard in weeks siphons all the air she had just gifted her empty lungs.

No. No, it can't be.

But once she forces her eyes open she sees that her nightmare is indeed a reality.

Her father stares at her with contempt, his lips thin as they are pulled into a familiar sneer. He's wearing his white lab coat with a stethoscope around his neck and a clipboard in his hands.

Panic rises instantly as she looks at him, breathing is now impossible.

"You're lucky this is where we met. I got your present. It was perfect for the fireplace. I humored your little tantrum but it's over now. I expect you back home, tomorrow. You have another date with the boy you stood up last time. Thankfully your face was worth something. " His tone is conversational but she can see the rage swirling under the façade, his fists are white knuckled on the clipboard. He's barely holding himself back.

She clutches the flowers tighter desperate for support. She feels like she's free falling from a tremendous height.

"What are you doing here? What business do you have here?" He stares at her and she has to get him away, he can't see Seojun they can't meet here, especially outside his mother’s room. The other boy might do something reckless and her father looks dangerous right now, this could end badly. She has to protect him.

"I came to see you. To tell you to sign the papers." She replies with courage she's not currently feeling, it wavers as her father's eye become colder and penetrating.

"I'm not signing anything, you are my property.  You better come to your senses before you make me really angry." He threatens her calmly in the hallway, as nurses and doctors walk by bowing to him in respect.

"I'll leave first." She whispers attempting to sidestep around him but he grips her wrist as she passes him, stopping her escape.

He eyes the flowers in her arms and she protectively clutches them in her arms shifting them away from him.

"Don't continue to piss me off. I will make you regret it."

She's ashamed at how frightened his words make her feel, she'd thought that she was strong enough to face him but she was wrong. Stupidly so. She feels small under his gaze her wrist crushing under his powerful grip but she's too scared to even pull away, powerless to stop his abuse.

"People are watching." The method her mother has always used, he might not care about her but he cares about his appearance. His hold loosens at her words until she's free and without pause she scurries away, her feet bringing her to safety until she's outside. She's panting so hard that her body is shaking, kneeling over with the bouquet between her knees.

She sees drops landing on the floor and wonders when it started raining, only to look up and see clear blue skies not a cloud in sight.

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His wife whimpered on the ground clutching her face, bright red mark on her swollen cheek. He shook his smarting hand as he tightly gripped the papers in his hand that she had handed him. She had been stupid enough to actually bring this to him, he is tempted to slap her again. 

Emancipation papers.

It would have been hilarious if it hadn't enraged him so much, who did she think to defy him? To try to leave when he wasn't done using her? The very idea was preposterous and he would beat it out of her as soon as he dragged her back home. This had gone on long enough, her little rebellion. He had humored it expecting her to come crawling back once he turned off her credit cards, but that hadn't been enough.

He hadn't expected her to have any friends to turn to.

He thrusted the disgusting papers into the blazing fire that he'd lit, smiling darkly as they burnt and turned to ashes. This was how he planned on dealing with her newfound defiance, he would burn it out of her. 

The disobedient fool didn't know how good she truly had it, she was lucky all he did was smack her around a little. At least she had a father that cared enough to beat her.

He'd grown up all alone, rich beyond belief but left to fend for himself in hotel after hotel. His parents were only that by title, he'd been raised by a rotating stream of nannies and butlers. Nothing he did was enough to get their attention, even starting fights or cursing at teachers. All his actions were dismissed easily with a envelope of money, teachers and students all sucking up to him and enabling his behavior.

He'd learned at a young age that anybody could be bought and wrong and right was something that only the poor had to adhere by, he was above the law, transcending morality. He could do anything and nobody would stop him. Nobody would dare.

Except his own daughter, perhaps it was karma. A punishment for all his bad deeds, he laughs humorously at the idea. He's getting old now to have thoughts like that. Regardless of what she wants he has no plans of letting her go, she's his to do with as he wishes. That had been the only reason he'd married her pathetic mother and the only reason he hadn't forced her to get an abortion once he learned the sex of the baby. She'd been a beauty despite her pitiful background and he'd hoped that a child of theirs would at least be something worth looking at.

In the end she was, his business partners following her form as she bloomed into a woman. He hadn't cared about their wandering eyes planning on selling her to the highest and most advantageous bidder, and he had found a buyer. Someone that needed him too, combined they could build a formidable partnership. He had a son Sujin's age and he had easily offered his daughter to sweeten the deal.

It was time to bring home his wayward child by any means possible. These childish games were over.

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"It's good to see you son. Have you been healthy? Eating well?" Suho sits down bowing his head in greeting to his father, it feels surreal to be sitting here with him but they've come a long way. Therapy has also done wonders to rebuilding their broken relationship, they attend twice a week. Now he can look at his father without pain and guilt scratching at his skin.

"I'm well. Thank you for agreeing to see me. I have to discuss something important with you." He cuts to the chase, unsure of the outcome of this conversation but Sujin hasn't been talking to him and he knows that they need his father's help. They can't take her father down alone, they're just kids.

"It sounds serious. Are you okay?" His father asks voice thick with genuine concern, his brows furrowed.

"It's not about me. It's someone else. I can't tell you much because it's not my story but I need to ask you this, if you had to choose between supporting me or a business partner who would you choose?" His father looks taken back by the question, searching his face with confused eyes.

"Son, what are you talking about? What business partner? Why are you asking this all of a sudden?"

He leans in staring directly into his father's eyes, he can now admit their resemblance as he stares at the face that looks so much like his.

"Dad, please just answer my question. If I needed your support, would you give it to me no matter what?" He questions, watching as his father stares at him in confusion and he waits patiently.

"Suho. I would choose you over anyone, I still need to prove myself if you're still asking me questions like that." He feels a tinge of guilt as his father shuffles away looking at him with a sad smile, he can't deny that. They've come far but there's still a part of him that remembers his father after his mother's passing, remembers blaming his father for years for his friends death. He's working on overcoming those scars but they are deep, beyond his flesh. Etched deep into his heart.

"One day I'm going to need your support. I need you to come without question. I need you to stand beside me." He stares at his father, seven years old again begging for his father's attention, his love.

Unlike his memories though, this time his father grabs his hand shooting him a melancholy smile, before nodding firmly.

"I'll be there. I'll stand beside you son."

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Sujin is acting strange, more so than usual. Su-ah can't pinpoint what's wrong but the other girl is more shifty than usual and always staring off deep in thought, not even Seojun seems to know what's wrong with her. She had questioned the boy, he seemed as frustrated as her telling her that she'd started acting like this two days ago.

Nothing she does gets the other girl to talk, Sujin has resolutely slammed her walls firmly back in place. She watches her in the corner of her eye, sighing at the fake smile on the girl’s face it’s obvious to detect them now with all the real ones she's witnessed usually in a certain bad boy's presence.

Taehoon leans into her side, his arm wrapped protectively around her shoulder and she looks back at Seojun watching him watch the other girl. Jukyeong's occupying the space next to Sujin so the boy has no choice but to walk behind her, she can feel his longing. Wishes that Sujin would allow herself to be happy, full-heartedly. She notices how Sujin only allows herself to have Seojun in bursts, pushing him away when things become too much for her to handle. It's not fair to the other boy but she knows it's all her friend has to offer right now.

As they push open the school doors, she sees a swarm of students blocking the way. They are talking excitedly pointing and staring at something she can't see. She stands on her tiptoes trying to get a better view of what's happening, impatiently she pushes past the gossiping girls forcing her way to the front.

There's a guy she's never seen before, her eyes widen when she sees the motorcycle getting a sense of deja vu before glancing back at Seojun, staring impassively at the unknown boy. Everyone begins to look between the two boys, the resemblance is uncanny especially with this stranger showing up on a bike too. They look like doppelgangers, like when the evil twin shows up suddenly in a drama. 

"Kang Sujin? Where is she?" The boy shouts to the crowd at large, looking around and she watches Seojun's eyes narrow icing over until they are glacial cold. Then Sujin steps forward looking unimpressed by this show, her resting bitch face in full swing despite the handsome stranger’s grin.

"Why are you looking for me?" She challenges, staring him down and all eyes are on them watching this unexpected meeting.

The boy whips a leg over the sleek bike, dismounting in one fluid motion. He's tall, even taller than Seojun and she can hear her school mates swooning at the mysterious boy, whispering about him being handsome and wishing they were Sujin. Fickle asses, they don't even know anything about him.

"I came to make sure you don't stand me up this time." He answers with a bite, there's a humorless grin on his face. A chill runs down her spine. She shifts closer to Sujin subconsciously, an innate desire to protect her flaring up.

Realization breaks on Sujin's face and she looks away, annoyance clear on her countenance.

"What do you want?" She finally asks looking exasperated with this very public conversation.

"I want the date you owe me. Let's go."

Her eyes narrow at his command not appreciating the way he's talking to her best friend, who is this rude entitled punk? Satisfaction rolls over her as Seojun steps up easily making his presence known as he scowls at the boy.

"Who the hell are you? She’s not going anywhere with you." He interrupts disdain dripping in every syllable as he steps in front of Sujin blocking her completely.

The boy raises a taunting brow at the move, before sneering cruelly right back.

"Who are you to ask me that? Get out of my face asshole." The other boy aggressively barks and she gasps as Seojun steps forward purposely raising his fist but before he can draw back and initiate the move, a dainty hand reaches out capturing his fist. Sujin briskly stops him lowering his hand and she watches as she doesn't release him immediately, standing side by side holding hands. They look like a team.

She's never seen anyone disarm Seojun like that before, Sujin's hand on him seems to evaporate all his rage and he is docile in the wake.

"Don't talk to him like that. You're starting to piss me off, I stood you up for a reason." Sujin steps forward and she wonders if her best friend knows how she looks, stepping in front of Seojun now seemingly defending him back.

The new boy sneers gazing down at their still joined hands, an ugly mean look on his face.

Then he steps forward swiftly and leans down roughly shoving Seojun away, much to the boy's vocal chagrin he stumbles back a few steps before he lunges at the other boy but it's too late he has already whispered something inaudible into Sujin's ear. Sujin steps in front of Seojun again blocking him before he can attack the strange boy, he stops immediately not wanting to hurt the smaller girl. He glares over Sujin’s shoulder, face enraged.  

Sujin visibly deflates at the words and she hates the vindictive smile that stretches across the other boys face, she wishes she could punch it off. Who is this asshole?

Sujin seems lost in thought again, miles away even though she's right in front of them. When her face hardens she knows that the girl has reached a conclusion.

"Fine." Sujin finally steps forward, eyes wavering now as she glares defeated at the other boy. Her shoulders are lower now as if she's lost some of her fight, it breaks her heart. "I'll come with you." She weakly agrees voice barely above a whisper.

"Sujin! You don't have to go with him!" She yells leaving her boyfriend's arms and latching onto Sujin's elbow, sending a murderous glare to the asshole who's forcing her friend. She tugs Sujin back, refusing to let her go. She argues as Sujin peels her hands away, smiling sadly at her eyes shiny and hard.

"It's okay. I have to." She grasps at her best friends arm as she walks forward until she's right beside the boy's bike. The whole school is watching with bated breath, unsure of what exactly they're viewing but captivated nonetheless.

He tosses her an extra helmet without warning and it slams into Sujin's chest harshly and she bristles at the other boys callous action.

Sujin starts to put on the helmet before Seojun steps forward again, grabbing her wrist and she lowers the helmet staring up at him. They both stand frozen, eyes locked and she watches as Seojun silently pleads with Sujin, his face is loose and every emotion is written in the frown on his face. Sujin falters momentarily swaying into the tall boy their bodies dangerously close, her own eyes shining even brighter but then the strange boy revs his engine bursting their bubble and Sujin jumps backwards pulling away from Seojun.

Her heart jumps into her throat as she watches Sujin's mouth something to Seojun before turning away, helmet slid down her head roughly before climbing onto the bike. Seojun looks completely crushed when she wraps her arms around the other boys waist, straddling the huge bike.

"You should learn your place." The other boy scowls triumphantly, revving the engine once more.

"Shut up. Let's go." Sujin interrupts the showboating, staring straight ahead. Looking at Seojun she sees exactly why the other girl is avoiding looking at him, if heartbreak was a person it would be him. 

Without another word, the mysterious boy knocks the kickstand up and squeezes the throttle and within seconds the bike roars to life, leaving them all behind Sujin's long hair bellowing behind her as they disappear down the road.

She looks over at Seojun, Suho and Jukyeong both look worried too. He stares after Sujin and the unknown boy fuming silently before he spins around, stomping away without a word.

Sujin, I hope you know what you're doing. This might be too much for him to handle.

She stares helplessly as Seojun stalks away, Chorong running after him but unable to keep up with his long gait. He doesn’t want to be caught, shutting them all out.