#because i was just about to go to bed lol. anyways
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“potentially do something of your choosing” - could you show some examples of those prospective wallpapers?
these are some of the phone proportioned wallpapers, and while i can't find where it's saved, my blog header is also a thing that i designed! these are a tad old—i mean they're from september and i have gotten better at graphic design and i think that my minor amount of pixel art experience somewhat helped me—but i think they should give an idea of what i can do!
#ask tag#some of these are made with illustrator and some are made with a different software (sketchbook autodesk)#the illustrator ones are better i think. if i make you guys things on request it's probably going to be on illustrator if i can manage it#(the only problem is i only have access to it during my graphic design class and i also have actual work to do)#(but pish posh. anyways yeah)#i know that i said i would be answering asks at 50% but this seems like it could influence votes#not counting#because i was just about to go to bed lol. anyways
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The Lamb is malicious in a funny way and the Goat is funny in a malicious way. No, I will not elaborate.
Anyway, everyone give thanks to the Lamb for interrupting what was sure to be a very boring and patronizing PSA from their grouchy cat hubby. Truly, they are doing God's work. Granted, the Lamb canonically is God now, so, uh. Mostly they're just doing their own work.
Speaking of their grouchy cat hubby, yes this is absolutely still Narilamb, Narinder is 100% into his goofy-ass spouse always no matter what and we all know it, he just wasn't expecting his brand new adopted kid to share the same single goofy-ass brain cell as the Lamb. :)
#fanart#comics#cult of the lamb#cotl#narilamb the goat AU lmao#cotl narinder#cotl lamb#cotl goat#did i look up a photo of billy the kid to base the goat's outfit off of?#i plead the fifth your honor#for real tho guys#rams and lambs are for sheep#for goats you want bucks and billies#or if you're afabing your goat - does and nannies#(tho to be fair ram IS sometimes accepted for male goats also? instructions unclear on that front tbh)#also don't worry - i am never gonna be all YOU GOTTA USE THESE TERMS OR YOU'RE DUMB AND BAD#it just kinda makes me giggle when i see mixed up animal deets#don't even get me STARTED on cat deets tho lmao#if i had a nickel for every time i saw a fanfic writer give narinder a knot#i would have two nickels#which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice#at least the one where he was a wolf instead of a cat because the author didn't KNOW he was a cat made sense LOL#yeah i'm over here outing all the lemon fics i read idgaf#if you know which fics i'm talking about you can't even judge me anyway cuz we both been at the same devil's sacrament#i should go to bed
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its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously
#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to#im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i can’t do literally anything else until thats done. but#because I don’t want to do it I’m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of#exec dysfunction.. I’ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something#and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh#and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing#because BOY id love to know too. I’d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant#even my period can’t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still#its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damn….#if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally won’t die. it’ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about#I know this but I’m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts aren’t really connecting to my body. weird#maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I don’t really feel#a strong attachment to it I guess? it’s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just don’t#I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but it’s not very fun when it feels like I’m going to#be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol#idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week#had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting#yapping#does this count as vent#vent#Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly
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not to like wax poetic about the literary nuances of Black Fucking Butler but i feel i need to point out how insanely campy it is. oh okay cool the butler is throwing butter knives at people with guns and winning. we're battling undertaker's zombie army by starting a boy band (we actually got the idea from the ZOMBIES' boy band). theres a curry making competition and its so important it needs an entire volume and a continuing motif dedicated to it. the Grim Reaper Death Gods are all cornballs with gardening sheers. the contradiction. the unintended irony.
i think the manga is like. toeing the line of camp. like its silly yet takes itself so seriously but its not too silly. my immersion is not broken by the silliness. but the anime is uncharted levels of camp. what the Hell was going on with pluto. you're gonna look me in the eye and tell me the phantomhives own a fifty foot dog thing and no one has noticed. simply one hell of a deer. ice skating. theres opium in funtom candy. the queen of england is maybe a little girl. speaking of which, the city of london just burned down. yeah the whole thing. the fifty foot dog was there too.
it's so ridiculously out of left field and the fact that none of the characters seem to notice or care feels like being gaslit. camp so visceral it's causing psychic damage. i am constantly begging the narrative to break character just once and acknowledge its silliness but doing so would negate the lack of awareness that makes it camp. its dated and timeless. an absolute milestone in camp history.
#it's 2 am im not articulating my thoughts well#just like. ohhhhhhhhg death and demons and walking the line between good and evil#dark acedemia vampire victorian vibes. except theres always some stupid shit happening with no explination.#like i know the tone shifts intentionally sometimes to match the haha comedic moment#thats not what im talking about#i mean when the most ridiculous plotline ever concieved is presented as a life or death situation#and after a while you're like lol this isnt dark at all and then BAM abuse trauma ptsd manipulation cults murders#the bittersweet understanding in clawing your way to the top#knowing the moment your revenge is exacted you will be consumed by the very thing that got you here#and choosing to keep climbing anyways#then boom back on that bullshit here's these motherfuckers in wonderland#the dark tone we had for all that trauma shit will Not be changing because catgirl grelle is just as serious of a topic#okay im going to bed#black butler#kuroshitsuji#sebastian michaelis#manga#ciel phantomhive#textpost#prev rb#oh i think the point i was trying to make it that its good because its camp#would not be nearly as awesome if it werent
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@eebie DANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the dance is from this video ♪(^∇^*)
#HI EEBIE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!LOL#i made this beccause i was listening to that penis song i sent you and i thought it sounded like a song gobou would use#also i wanted a dancing eeber gif ^___^#keep in mind i ummm. have only animated once before and that was years ago and very very very short#and also it was totally sketchy and stuff. as in it was just a sketch there was no lineart or colors or anything#and also csp apparently dosent let you export transparent animations!?!?!?!? and also it doesnt let you use more than 25 frames!?!?!?!?#its stupid. so i just made a gif on EZGIF.COM instead<333#which is why the edges look kinda. um. wack. sorry about that but maybe itll go away when this posts? i dunno but i doubt it#btw i think i have eeber poisoning or something. because i draw her all the time everywhere........#ive drawn her so many times in some stupid little sketchbook we have in our kitchen when i wait for stuff in tha microwave#her design is just sooooo. Yeah!!!!!!!!#anyway this took Ummm significantly longer than id hoped and my back hurts sooooobad#so im going to bed!!!!!!!! but anyways here u go babygirkl <333333#my art#oh and btw i only listened to the penis (eek!) song while drawing this and nothing else#just. the same penis song for hours on end#and i said i was gonna take abreak when i was done with the lines before i started coloring but 😀👍 i forfot#OH WAIY ONE LAST YBING. i got cery noticably lazy like halfway through so dontt look too close at the frames or youu might get scared 😨
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tbh when mitski said “you’re my best friend/now i’ve no one to tell/how i lost my best friend”
#my freshman year of college my best friend and I were both a wreck#and on opposite sides of the country#during winter break I made the decision to share certain information with their parents bc I was actively concerned for their safety#they were deeply upset about me betraying their trust like that and asked for a break in our friendship#(a few months later (which happened to be early March 2020. lol) they did shrooms and realized they wanted to talk to me again lmao)#(so we talked and cried and now we’re still best friends almost 4 years later)#and my birthday is in january so it fell right in the middle of the period we weren’t talking#and my friends at school actually put together a really lovely party and it remains to this day the best bday party ive had#(most of my bdays have been sad and shitty lol)#but i just remember being drunk in my friends dorm room with my friends all around me#it was the end of the night people were just kinda chatting in little groups or whatever#and i was lying on my friends bed just miserable bc all I could think about was how my best friend was supposed to be there too#bc my parents were going to fly them out for the weekend as a present#and obviously that just got dropped#and id been talking to my friends about it kind of but all I wanted was my actual best friend#I left them a very embarrassing drunk voicemail that THANK GOD they deleted without listening to#but it’s just. the quiet agony of being angry and sad and hurt because your person doesn’t want to be ur person anymore#and still wanting to talk to them about it. still needing them to comfort you and give you their advice and insights#i don’t want to talk to anyone else about it. they’re not you.#sigh. anyway. ive actually lost several close friends for various reasons ranging from reasonable to bullshit#and it always blindsides me how much I want to talk to THEM about it#so thanks mitski for expressing that so artfully#op
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Wow, what a prince~!
Late Shuake week 2022 Day 1 - Flowers
#shuakeweek2022#akechi goro#kurusu akira#p5#'theres no shuake in there sophia' yes there is. squint harder#listen ok. listen to me. they are pining. all i am capable of drawing is these two idiots pining.#akira is asking about whether he likes flowers because he doesn't wanna get him a gift he doesn't like ok!!!!#i KNOW its flimsy akeshu i'm sorry lmao. i'll do better in the coming days but i got this idea in my head & couldn't get it out so. there#i know it's not necessarily original but. it just grabbed me by the throat ok#'ooh why did he cut his hand while he's wearing gloves' suspend your disbelief :((( let me make a coloring mistake occasionally ok#and to clear up any remaining doubts NO akira did NOT get akechi knife flowers. i just think akechi should have crazy stalker fans#as a treat.#also lmao can you tell i found a new comic book dots brush today???? i bet u cant because i used it so sparingly and for emphasis (lie)#ANYWAY it's 2 am and i have work in the morning so. i gotta go to bed ^^; hope you guys have been well!#hopefully see you tomorrow for another post....or another two if i can draw fast and catch up lol
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Had a doctor tell me quite sincerely this morning that my "life seems miserable" because of my health problems and it immediately made me think of the damn bitch you live like this meme
#like i cant stop thinking about it#he wasnt even the doctor i was there to see#the nurse called him in because my heart rate was high and it scared her#but like thats just a normal flare day for me#so anyway this guy i dont even know comes barging into the room to listen to my heart and ask about my symptoms etc#and then he says that its not sustainable to live like this and how i must be miserable#and im just like lol okay like tell me something i dont know#oh and when i told him i usually get through flares by staying in bed for a day or two#his response was to say how that would make going on vacation hard because i might end up having to be bedridden for part of it#and like#first of all#im too broke for vacations lol#second of all#i can barely leave the house bc of my health so what vacations would i even be attempting#idk like he did seem genuinely concerned#but i was honestly not in the mood to hear all that#like i was (and still am) feeling extremely unwell#i just wanted to go home#did not need or want the pity of some random doctor
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Something about there being ask blogs on my dash again just makes me really happy
#Charlie Stuff#Probably because some of my only good times as a teenager were running a ygo one#(Which feels like 1 million years ago)#It's such pure creative fun#People send you lil notes and you draw a guy responding#It's just so joyful I love it c':> it warms my ancient old man heart#Anyway I have to go to bed but I'm gonna be thinking about ask blogs all day at work tomorrow#(Also just like in my youth lol)
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I just watched that s7 episode where Rose, Dorothy and Sophia will have to move out if Blanche doesn't make them co-owners of the house and oh.... oh my god. I knew Blanche's grand gesture would hit hard, but Dorothy's talk to Rose before then?? Giving her an excuse for why she has to say, only to shrug that off and softly tell her the truth ("we love you") and proceeding to tell the permit guy that they're family!! They love each other so much & they can't be separated!! Rose's face throughout the whole thing!! It's so much
#i fear this borders on making no sense but OHH the LOVE they have for each other#it's so so clear and they acknowledge it too???#out loud?? to a stranger?? ;-;#i will say this episode was made at least 10x more painful with the knowledge of how it's all going to end in ±20 episodes#blanche makes the girls co-owners because she trusts they'll stay together forever#because the thought of parting with them is even worse than the thought of losing (part of the) ownership of her house!!#she places full trust in her girls because she loves them even more than this place that holds memories of george#& because she trusts them to treat that part of her life (and their life together) with respect#and then dorothy ends up leaving#i just-#i CAN'T#blanche selling that house to them *legally* bound their lives and futures together#they signed a contract!! excuse me for making the comparison but what isn't marriage if not a love recognised legally!!#(it's a religious thing too i know. but these were the 90s! marriage was becoming more and more of a tax benefit lol)#and uh#they signed that contract to get to *live together* without consequences#because they love each other and can't bear to be separated! they're a family!!#and then dorothy leaves?? yeah no i'm FINE#(side note but rose made a comment about having to sleep on top of each other#and by her very serious 'it's fine! we all wear pyjamas!' i'm inclined to believe they do in fact share a bed frequently)#the golden girls#anyway off to bed now#i had to write this down before i exploded sjfjdj
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like. everything is fine and everything is good, truly and also just the smallest part of my soul is just [ strangled, small, disconsolate sob ]
#like. is there love and ease and joy and confidence and peace in my future? is there a time where things become clear#and stop hurting#and that low-grade stupid fuzzy background anxiety about everything#just recedes?#is there?#I am being so dramatic but it’s because I need to eat and go to bed and also pray 😭#and it has been a long day#and I am still technically in parent teacher conferences#Edit: it is later and I am feeling better and the above melodramatic questions are just a reflection of my exhausted state#but also of the human condition lol#anyway thank you for listening
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That moment when you’re craving more content of the characters you love, and then remember that you’re the one who made them… So you’re the one who has to make the content 😭😩
#random rambles#thinking about Abel and Link and Til#thinking about the Ordon Fam#I know I didn’t make the Ordon fam#but I made secrets of the shadows so#anyway it’s Father’s Day I’m just thinking about dads#Abel and Rusl and fierce and—#I just wanna hold them#And draw them#And write them#And see stuff about them#And I’m gonna go to bed now because I gotta get up for mass in the morning lol
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vent post in tags
#have i developed a fear of going to bed?#i do not fear sleep#i just fear the agony of insomnia because that means more time for intrusive thoughts and loneliness#and i want to call my friends and be like 'long distance sleepover lol'#but at the same time#i know i can't ALWAYS do that or expect that from others#but i just.... don't want to spend nights alone anymore#I do read my Bible and practice devotionals and I do have good nights but sometimes it's just.... there are times when things get bad#anyway if any mutuals know how to counteract insomnia without drugs i would really appreciate the advice#part of me is also just begging God to bring me someone who will stay up all night with me#even just once#i don't even really pay attention to the plotline of Big Bang Theory but when mom turned it off tonight and said 'I'm gonna go to bed'#and left me alone in the living room i had to fight the urge to cry#it's just#i needed to say this#i don't expect anyone to message me but please at least keep me in your prayers because this has been going on for months and I don't want#to be silent about it anymore
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.
#and after one last day of work (and a nearly 14 hour one bc people just love to leave things until last minute)#i just shut off my laptop and it’s not getting turned back on again until mid january#almost 7 glorious weeks of vacation to enjoy december and christmas 🥰#and i’m leaving for my dream trip in 6 days!#i’m so excited!#i’m having a cuddle with noodle (more like he’s kinda crushing me but it still counts lol)#and we’re about to go to bed because i’m sleepy#but i’m so happy i decided to take time off#also i’m so excited for advent season to start tomorrow#truly my favourite time of year#anyways rambling again good night <3
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one of the (admittedly many) reasons i love love love LOVE my uf and ht self inserts i think is because all the shit i hate about myself is amplified with them and i LOVE them for it. theyre weird gross perverted overbearing annoying creeps who nobody really feels comfortable around. and its the BEST!!!!!!!!! like yeah they suck shit. they dont know anything and theyre genuinely disturbing and disgusting people. arent they just the BEST
#cherry chats#i happen to love girls who are the worst ever. is the thing#when my ht/uf inserts make everyone around them uncomfortable and gross people out and when nobody likes them i think its so awesome and fun#they both suck so bad. theyre awesome#they dont KNOW shit they cant DO shit theyre weird nasty FREAKS#theyre overbearing and clingy and creepy and selfish and completely fucked in the head. and theyre everythinf 2 me#^____^#i love my fucked up little self inserts. they are so not okay over there#had a visual image of my uf self insert lighting they and sans’ bed on fire cause he annoyed them. lmfao#blame kiss with a fist That song is everything in the world to me Ok#btw speaking of which i should really give my most common self inserts nicknames#because going ‘my uf and ht self inserts’ every time is a pain#like. my trollsona although i dont talk about them much is a favorite too and their name is zairku Cuz troll names etc#and in my head i nicknames my horrortale guy 207 for. some fuckin reason#ermm. whadda hell do i call that underfell freak then.#……………… cherry???? bc thats qhat i used to go by way way WAY back in the day???#and it. SORTA fits the general uf aesthetic…..???#well. just like how 207 was a placeholder that just became their nickname i guess cherry would be the same#if i called them that as a temporary placeholder while i think of something else itd just end up being their name anyway. lol#okie dokie hehehee thats good then ^__^ i think ill add that 2 my pages when i get out of bed#which is. very soon bcuz i wanna smoke. so im goin outside. its -4° out
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LMFAO
#no way the first message i got on my bday was about han jisung i can’t stop giggling#to be fair they’re in a completely different timezone it’s not even my bday there yet#and they were distracted starting work lol#anyway i just cried a little bit because i realised next birthday i get to actually spend it with them#for the first time!!! in the.. well it’ll be 6 years then that we’ve been together#crazy!!! i can’t wait <3#this was too funny not to post but now i’m gonna go to bed.. maybe#it’s getting late n i worked all day so i’m pretty tired i’ll put on a wuzu clay video n probably knock out instantly#p
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