#because i was so unbelievably disconnected from reality

[pinkhair-browneyes-isawher]

brrr vent post cast your eyes away!

[sydneys-adamu]

okay but carmy and sydney’s conversation (or lack thereof) in apologies is just in direct opposition to their talk under the table and it’s,,, unbelievably delicious.

like optics wise the lighting, writing and direction are incredibly sterile and cold and silent (notice there’s absolutely no track playing behind them). carmy and syd are almost as far as they can get from each other while still having a conversation where as under the table they were as close as they could get without literally being on top of each other. and the difference is so distinct because it’s cold and disconnected but there’s one thing that connects these two scenes and actually holds the essence of who these two are to each other.

it’s the want. the want is still there.

you deserve my full focus. / I don’t want it to be so hard to keep up with me.

what if I just fuck up and fail? / I don’t think it’s my place to be [at ever]

I won’t let you. / it’s ever. you should come.

you’re not alone. / you should get some rest.

neither are you. / you good?

both times, no matter how close or far, the conversation can’t end with sydney feeling like a fuck up or undeserving despite the fact that carmen is unaware that is exactly how he’s making her feel not through his words but his actions.

it’s difficult, because he’s not trying to inflict this on her but he is and it’s making her spiral. sydney can’t find the words to bring it up so it’s left at “I’ve been wanting to talk about…” and “I wanna run something by you…” they’re frozen. and they’ve both been since friends and family.

but the thing is that being frozen doesn’t mean they don’t care about each other or that they want it to be this way it’s clear as day that they do not. they both hate the way things are and at this point carmy doesn’t see a reason he even deserves sydney’s concern. that’s why when she asks how he is he starts talking about a plate. a lifeless dish that carmy can’t seem to leave alone. even when syd tries to reach out to him he still wants it perfect for her so much that he’s pushed her out. just like he was during demo they’re all the same patterns.

one talk under a table was never gonna fix everything but it was a fundamental start. they have to keep growing from half truths and unfinished conversations even when they get uncomfortable. they have to work through the good and bad, the comfort of the bear not being open yet versus the reality of this life together they chose. the one they explicitly want together but don’t know how to handle yet.

it’s just a process that they’re handling like real people and it’s everything. literally everything to see them grow and see how painfully non-linear it is for them both. but all roads lead somewhere and both of theirs are heading straight toward each other until eventually they’re gonna fucking crash.

@ambeauty said this amazing thing about their inability to have a conversation above a table and it never left my head

[rvblos]

౨ৎ⋆˚｡⋆ gucci dinner (blurb)

warnings: SMUT, unprotected sex (be safe pls), slight degradation, sub!reader, soft!dom (kinda) jannik, public sex(?), i went crazy sorry. this is the nastiest shit ive ever written.

notes: im ovulating so bad im so sorry i just need him FUCKED YOU IN THE BATHROOM WHEN WE WENT TO DINNER

the dinner was fantastic and the venue was wonderful, each table had a bouquet of flowers in the center and candles were scattered everywhere, creating a relaxing and intimate atmosphere. your attention had been drawn by the background music coming from the speakers, forcing you to briefly disconnect from the conversation.

“i tried to save that game, i really did. but your boyfriend’s serve is just unbelievable, right?” taylor fritz’s voice came muffled to your ears, bringing yourself back to reality. “i’m so sorry, could you repeat that?” you tried to apologize for your rudeness and jannik, sitting next to you, laughed to himself. to warn him you gave him a small pat on the shoulder gaining another light laugh from him.

“i was just talking about how good your boyfriend is at tennis.” he laughed too, taking a sip of his wine nonchalantly. you chuckled at his words, relieving the tension. “what do you think?” he asked you, morgan’s eyes following you as you drunk from your own glass. “yeah, what do you think?” you boyfriend asked you repeating taylor’s words with a shit eating smirk on his face, his hands suddenly gripping the flesh of you upper thigh under your linen skirt.

you gulped, feeling him going upwards within every second and finally reaching the hem if your panties. “yeah, i think he’s very talented.” laughing, you tried to keep your cool, even if it was nearly impossible since his digits were now circling your skin, making you shiver under his touch and getting even closer to your core.

“would you excuse me for a second?” you tried to sound calm and relaxed, but it seemed so challenging just because his fingers were so close to your folds and you couldn’t believe that he was really doing it in front of taylor and morgan. “is everything alright?” the girl in front of you asked with a concerned expression on her face. you nodded “yeah, just need to go to the bathroom.” you smiled to reassure her and disappeared into the sea of people that were roaming around.

entering the small restroom you ran to the mirror only to find your cheeks redder than ever before. he really did make you blush. you rested your arms on the small sink in front of you, leaning your head against the glass and trying to regain control of your body, inhaling deeply and not wanting to let him win over you. but before you could even notice it, the door opened.

shit. that was it.

you didn’t turn, you could see his reflection in the mirror, his body leaning against the door and that same smirk on his face. “what are you doing here?” you scoffed, now facing him. he was looking at you hungrily, like he’d never seen you before, like it was his first time. “what’s up with this attitude?” he joked, closing the door behind him and reaching you slowly.

“what were you trying to do earlier?” that was a rethorical question, you both knew very well what he was doing and even better what he wanted to do. and you could see it in his eyes that he was having fun, he was enjoying it. “what do you think, huh?” he asked you back, his lips now almost touching yours, trapping you between the wall and his own body.

“we can’t.” you placed a hand right on his face as to stop him. “what did you told them anyway?” “that i needed to park the car or something, i don’t remember.” he sounded so calm and relaxed, you hated him when he acted like that.

“c’mon, ten minutes.” smiling boldly he begged you, taking a strand of your hair in his hand, twirling it over his fingers. he was towering over your body, looking down at you while his red hair fell beautifully on his face. one of his hands found place on your hip, caressing your flesh under your skirt’s material and sending shivers down your spine.

“five.” you finally gave in, rolling your eyes back at his insistence and demanding that single word like it was a sentence. you thought he didn’t want to lose any time with you, his hands were quick as they started to undress you, leaving your top fall onto the ground, followed by your skirt as well. his lips took place on your neck, kissing and biting your skin gently, leaving some red marks that would’ve been very evident once you were going to be back to the table.

where was the bold guy, unable to wait to touch his girlfriend now? it was like he was scared to touch you even knowing damn well that since you had such little time that he should’ve made the best of it. but there he was, taking his time with you, kissing your boiling skin as you two had an eternity of time. “jan…” you tried to say, panting for air when you felt him gently nibble at your earlobe. “they’re gonna get suspicious.” your panties suddenly slipped down, now resting between your knees. the sudden contact with the cold air made you shiver and your walls clenched around nothing, looking for some sort of relief.

you could feel the wetness between your legs starting to drip down but it was finally relieved when you felt him abruptly making his way into you. a scream of surprise almost escaped your lips, if he haven’t been so quick to cover your mouth with his hand. “shhhh.” he mumbled with a broken voice from the pleasure, his lips pressed onto you shoulder as he tried to be quiet as well.

he slowly moved out of you, only for slipping inside one more time to try and find his own pace. it was all so sloppy and slow it was making you see stars. the way he looked, holding your body in his arms against the wall, his bright green pupils staring right into yours as he fucked you and the unholy noises your bodies were making, parting just to reconnect once more.

jannik was giving you slow strokes, rolling his hips against yours as your nails claws all down his back, a soft and small moan escaping your lips. he groaned as he could practically hear the sloshing of the stretch deep in your cunt. “please” you managed to say between whimpers, your back on the cold marble of the wall. “what is it?” he asked you, cheeks so red from the effort that made him look so cute.

“faster… please.” it sounded like a question cause your voice was almost giving out. “fuuuck” he panted “you look s’pretty like this, doll.” his hands gripped the flesh of your legs to sustain you better, making you squirm under his touch. he was reaching spots you didn’t even know could be reached, and as he hit one in particular you whined so loud he had to warn you again.

“look at you, begging me for more when you didn’t even wanted to be fucked in the first place.” he made fun of you, knowing it turned you on even more; there was a hint of laughter in his voice when he suddenly felt your walls tightening around his cock. but his movements didn’t stop, not even for a second: his hips were rolling against yours harder than before and you knew you were close but when he twitched inside you, you felt you could cum in that very moment.

little tears of pleasure rested at the side of your eyes while you squeezed them shut. he placed a little kiss on your cheek before saying “i know you’re close, let it go.” with one final thrust you clenched so hard around him he almost whimpered out loud. you could feel your juices dripping down your tight but you couldn’t tell if they were yours or his, since he filled you up completely, like he always did.

“fuck, that was intense.” you whispered, breathing normally again. he chuckled taking his pants from the floor and giving you your skirt. “c’mon, you don’t want to miss dessert, do you?”

tag list: @rublito @yungbludz @gogz-ee @xoxolovlies @pretty-hate-machineee @2manytabsopen @carlosalcarazlefttoe @heyitsconysstuff @ithinkimokeei @kuroppiii @dilf-daniil @ricolaviecher

[spicyicetea]

This is the start of a fic I briefly spoke about in THIS post. These won’t be chapter by chapter posts, at least not at first, but somewhat disconnected posts that change POV. I still don’t know what to call this but if you have suggestions feel free to let me know.

Yandere Eldritch Submas x reader

May contain NSFW topics including violence, swearing and sexual references. MDNI. This is a Fem reader but referred to with GN pronouns the majority of the time. Not proofread because I can’t be bothered.

Oh Arceus

It wasn’t often Arceus had to intervene with his creations, but now he feels obligated. He lowered his guard and something… slipped through the cracks into the reality he had created. Powerful beings they were, rivalling his own power easily when working together. They were hungry beings, greedy things he had tried to protect his creations from. But no, they’ve been a pain in his… neck ever since one of them discovered the concept Soulmates. Their desire to watch his creations grew, wanting to discover what those… humans meant when calling someone a soulmate. Then they found her, what a battle they caused. He held them off, reminding them of a deal they had sealed millennia prior but they easily shattered it as he turned his back to heal. Sliding through the cracks in reality to find her… find their soulmate.

“So, you’re telling me that you fucked up and I have to fix it?”

It was hard to believe a single word they were told, it isn’t often the god you were studying appears before you to beg for your aid. But this was no ordinary situation. Two other god-like beings slipped into the world you held so dear and now god wants you to help fix it, to find them.

“I don’t think I’m qualified for this job.”

“Hold on! Don’t just walk away!”

Y/N stopped in their tracks, sighing before looking at the towering white god before them. Despite how unbelievable it was, it felt wrong to just say no. Arceus wanted them to travel back to Unova, where he believed these beings were hiding. That doesn’t sound so bad… it would be nice to return to Unova…

“Fine, I’ll help you.”

And with that, your fate was sealed. As the phone like shape settled into your palm, Arceus taking a more familiar form to not arouse suspicion, you had been played into their arms perfectly. Disguising themselves in human forms to find their beloved. It’s the perfect plan.

“And given that Arceus can never let things be without his permission, he will lure them home to us!”

“Perfect plan brother! I’m so verrry excited to see our darling again.”

“Yes, however, we should be weary Kudari, I fear Arceus may recognise us and take her away from us…”

“Then we shall use our other names Nobori, remember? I am Emmett and you’re-“

“Ingo, I remember brother.”

———————————

The sun streamed through the parted clouds onto the pavement, street vendors offering food at every corner. It had been years since you had lived in Nimbasa, but the sights were still as familiar as ever. Except that was a lie. It had never been so… perfect. In fact, it was uncomfortably so. Your new friend tucked in your pocket not doing much to heal your discomfort.

“I need to get a job… I wonder if that coffee shop I used to visit is hiring.” Y/N muttered, a hand on their chin while trying to figure out how to afford food.

Their shoes clicked along the pavement before a hand tapped her shoulder. With wide eyes, she spun to face them. The person in green uniform bowed and apologised repeatedly. They knew if they didn’t then their bosses would have a few harsh words for him.

“Ah my apologies ma’am! I overheard you talking about needed a job and thought I could lend a hand. You see, we’re currently hiring new workers at the the station and-“

“Station? I don’t remember Nimbasa having a-“

“Ah, it’s always been here, come along, I’m sure you’d love to join us.”

He dragged Y/N along the stairs into the subway grinning at her. His bosses may be your soulmates but all the other workers were eager to meet you. They had followed them from the worlds they originated from as their worshipers and now are often treated as family, or their children more or less. As much as their bosses desired you, the workers needed you just as much, you were their new mom pretty much.

“Ah there they are! Master Ingo!”

Master? What a strange way to refer to their boss…

“Hm? Ah Jackie have you-“ the man in the black coat froze, his eyes widening as he adjusted his cap and cleared his throat. “I see you’ve found someone who wishes to work with us?”

Jackie nodded eagerly taking his cap off and placing it on your head. The expression the other man held changed, it held something dangerous. It felt as if every shadow in the station were starring at you. With a nervous laugh, you took the cap off, placing it into Jackie’s hands again.

“Aha, thanks but I don’t think-“

“We’d love for you to work with us! Wouldn’t we brother?”

“Yes verrry much so Ingo!”

Y/N jolted as a man in a white coat appeared beside him, seemingly out of thin air. What are you saying Y/N, he must have walked over while you looked at Jackie…

“I am Emmett! And this is my dear brother Ingo. We would love for you to join us here.”

Ingo just nodded along with him, both staring at you expectantly. The way both brothers stared into your eyes sparked something. It felt like the shadows were groping at your thighs and weighing down on your chest, coiling around your breasts. Well they were, but you didn’t need to know that, nor did you need to know that they had… gotten rid of one of your neighbours and claimed the house next to yours so they can keep an eye on you.

“I… fine, I might as well. As long as you pay well.” You sighed, the twins lighting up with glee. Both grabbing your hands and leading you further into the station to their office.

“We’ll grab you a uniform and you can start tomorrow!” They said in unison, turning their backs to hide the way their faces distorted, too happy to contain their true forms fully.

[laiosynth]

remembering i can just post about whatever i want whenever i want

KABRU AND THE BATS AU HCS !!

(for context, an AU where kabru and tim have switched places in the multiverse at birth. i'll make tim's post soon)

- kabru was convinced dick was going to kill him when he first met him as nightwing and accidentally gave away that he knew their secret identities. ever since, dick has been unbelievably gentle with kabru while also being SO relentless in his teasing. kabru will always be known as "the crazy one" to dick and it confuses everyone else.

- kabru and bruce are literally exactly the same. kabru acts like a tiny version of bruce to everyone (in reality, he's just paranoid-- and also knows exactly how bruce's paranoia works, as well.)

- when kabru first arrives at wayne manor, dragged there LITERALLY carried by the scruff by dick, he still puts on his absolute best manners when greeting alfred at the door. alfred was ready to keep him right then and there.

- kabru freaks out, panics, and starts biting people whenever he accidentally acts like a real boy in front of the bats for the first month he knows them. real of him

- kabru has an entire complex view of the world and the people in it and himself-- he sees himself as a fox, wearing a mask to fit in with the world of hounds. a mask, to him, is a tool to survive.

- when kabru goes to save batman and nightwing from scarecrow, he doesn't take the robin suit. he just takes a domino. kabru doesn't take the title of robin like tim did.

- when jason attacks the titan tower, kabru survivors by using EXTENSIVE psychological warfare and then forcing the guy on a 5-day road trip from the west coast back to the east with him. this somehow works.

- jason hates kabru and also would kill and die for him. calls him "foxface" ever since kabru told him about the fox in a mask thing.

- kabru hates jason but also relies on him for literally all of his emotional needs and also would drop everything at any moment if jason asked

- jason has forced kabru to watch star wars and read the hobbit. kabru forced jason to read PJO

- when damian arrived, kabru was instructed "absolutely NO psychoanalysis". he did not listen

- damian, surprisingly, did not see kabru as that much of a threat. kabru took advantage of this big time

- they bonded surprisingly quickly. kabru showed damian how to use kohl, and they bonded over a shared interest in fashion and clothing as a tool

- kabru quickly became damian's favorite, to everyone's dismay

- when cass first arrived, she didn't like kabru that much. he had a lot to hide, and she didn't like that. she could sense the apprehension and careful precision in every movement of his, and she didn't trust it in the slightest.

- until she realized that he was just a weirdo, and resolved to fix his caution with Extreme Prejudice (lots and lots of love)

- kabru doesn't know what to think of cass at first, because she's... almost entirely unmasked. the only mask she wears is one that's entirely blank.

- she grows on him. aggressively.

- steph didn't like him very much for a long, long time. kabru could tell why- his mask was working too well. and she didn't like his mask at all. "mr perfect goody two-shoes" was her go-to nickname for him.

- the only thing that fixes the disconnect (because kabru's too scared to take OFF his mask, that's too far) is dick telling the story of the time kabru bit him. kabru is mortified. steph is delighted. and a bit disappointed she hadn't realized he was just a Freak earlier.

- duke figures out his act quickly and harshly. kabru is a bit worried, actually, until he realizes that people have just started chalking his entire mask and persona up to "bat weirdness"

- duke gives him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder when kabru realizes this crisis

- bruce is trying SO HARD at this point to bond with kabru any further than "batman and protege"-- pulls out all the stops! calls him chum, literally OFFERS TO ADOPT HIM. kabru is fucking oblivious to bruce's attempts.

- (he's in denial. everyone in the batfam has to get on their case to shake some sense into him)

uhhhh thatd all right now. yay

[sorcerous-caress]

I can't fall asleep so here is a fun story.

When I was 16-17, I watched that russian sleeping experiment video, and it stuck with me for a while. I thought there was no way it's real, like it was clearly a creepypasta, but also I knew the best lies were built on half-truths, so it must have held some truth to it.

I did some digging on the Internet and found an article that stated how the stages the human body goes through the more they go without sleep. It was summer break, and I thought, what's a better use of my time than testing this out on myself?

I was curious and skeptical, i felt like some of the stuff in these articles were exaggerated. I didn't have a plan i just had a lot of free time, a locked room, lots of energy drinks, coffee, and a very uncomfortable chair.

The first day went easy. I spent it normally and stayed up playing video games and watching movies. Nothing unusual.

The second day went fine at first but I had to give up the bed, I dragged a very uncomfortable plastic chair into my room, it didn't even have arm rests. That's also the day i started slowly drinking energy drinks. My focus was deteriorating so I couldn't do anything but scroll through the apps on my phone.

The third day is when strange things started happening. By that point, I was unbelievably exhausted. I drank so much caffeine that I could see the veins on my hands slightly bulging out, and their colour was more prominent.

I couldn't stay sitting down because I would fall asleep, so I forced myself to get up every 10 minutes and walk around the room in circles. I was listening to loud metal music at max volume during the whole thing because the second my mind relaxed, I knew I'd fall asleep.

It was barely the start of the day too, this was me 1/4 through the day. I really didn't to fail now especially when I came this far.

The article mentioned that the hallucinations start on the third/fourth day. It's also when your brain forces you to fall asleep each time you blinked, it's called microsleep.

I did experience it. It wasn't like a normal blink where the world around you resumed, more like a long, slow blink that disconnected you from your brain for a second before you snapped back into reality.

So i kept this routine up for 3 hours. Sit, scroll through social media, stand up, walk around, and sit back down. Rinse and repeat.

I kept reading through the article, It was the only thing motivating me at that point. Especially since I had an argument with a friend earlier during day 2, when they screamed at me to go to sleep. I almost ended up losing them because of it, so I just lied and said i will go sleep.

They just didn't get it, yk? I already committed to this. I can't turn back after everything I endured. I wanted to see what happens, to witness it first hand because each one of those articles about sleep deprivation sounded like the plot of horror movies, and I wasn't buying it at all.

Also, I hate the taste of black coffee, but by that point, I just swallowed it all down without care. I don't even remember if it tasted like anything. My hands were shaking so much, but I knew I'd fall asleep without it, so I kept going.

I successfully made it halfway through the day, I've reread the same article so many times.

I kept thinking about the hallucinations, wondering when they would finally start. Would it be like seeing a ghost in the room? Auditory hallucinations were out of the question because I never stopped listening to the loud music, I also locked myself inside my room, just in case I attempted to wander outside and sleep on a couch or fall down the stairs by accident.

While I was circling the room, I kept staring at the poster on my wall. It was the Vitruvian Man by Da Vinci. It was the only humanoid poster I had up, so my eyes kept naturally seeking it out.

And there was something about its stare.

Each circle I finished would get me closer to it bit by bit, I couldn't see anything else besides it. I couldn't stop feeling like its eyes was speaking to me.

I kept remembering the article and the hallucinations, wondering if this is when it's finally starting. I embraced it and felt excited, i wanted it to speak to me, to come out of the poster and stand in front of me.

I couldn't even hear the loud music in my headphones anymore, only its stare. I stopped walking and kept standing still staring at it, waiting for something to happen.

But the look in his pupils, the crystal clear meaning of it.

Oh, i realised, it wants to kill me.

That empty stare in those soulless eyes, terror washed over me, and all excitement was replaced with fear.

Genuinely bone-deep fear. Me, a teenager in the 21st century who has had a comfortable modern life for all my years of living, felt true fear for the first time in my life.

It's going to murder me, I kept repeating. I was afraid to look away because I genuinely believed it would jump out at me the second I did.

Then I remember day 4 in the article, how they described that any hallucinations will get more intense, more real.

I was terrified, and I didn't want to die, so I did what any normal person would do when faced with a whispering cheap poster of an old creepy painting.

I caved in and went to sleep.

Laid on the bed, i imagined it walking behind me, I imagined him slowly moving towards me.

My heart was beating so much, every fiber of my being was beyond terrfied.

I was convinced he is standing in front of the bed.

Thankfully tho, It didn't take more than 3 seconds for me to fall asleep after I closed my eyes, I didn't even have to try.

I've only made it to the middle of the third day, by the time I woke up, it was the afternoon of the next day. I slept a whole day and my body felt beyond broken.

I needed to eat, i needed water, and I needed to go to the bathroom. I did all of these things in an hour and then immediately went back to bed.

I slept for another full day.

The following week, I slept for 16 hours per day, then it dwindled to 13, then 8, and after a month, I went back to my normal sleeping schedule.

But the thing is, the painting doesn't have eyes, really. Not clear ones, at least. They're so small already, and it was printed on a cheap poster, so they were basically a couple of pixels.

Yet I remember seeing clear eyes on the third day, with pupils and everything, i could almost count the eyelashes. And they didn't seem out of place either, it felt like they were always a part of the painting.

Anyway, I never threw that poster out. It cost me 10$, which to a broke teenager was a lot of money. Also, Da Vinci is a pretty chill guy. I felt kinda mean to throw his painting out over one murder hallucination.

I did get my answers, tho! My experiment wasn't a complete failure, and I went back to the friend I lied to so I could inform them of my results. They weren't pleased, and we ended up falling out because of it. It's alright.

But since that day, i never could stay up much. Like whenever I get sleepy, I really really get unimaginably sleepy. Feels like my brain removed my admin access to my sleep cycle, and I lost the ability to stay up for more than a day.

Probably for the best, it's been years since this happened and my sleep still suffers from the same problem really. Which is funny because sometimes I do get insomina and can't sleep, but it never lasts for more than a day before my brain forcefully shuts me down.

It was fun I guess? I don't recommend doing it because the results aren't that impressive really. Thank fuck I didn't have a mirror in my room at the time, I feel like it would've made the hallucinations come by quicker.

Also, I am very aware of how stupid and an endangerment of my life it was to do that, now that I'm grown at least. You don't have to tell me about it. I don't plan on repeating it, and none of you should, really. It's more of a cool story I tell nowadays, a found memory of when I almost self-indunced psychosis. And yes! That russian experiment video was fake af.

Anyway, here is the painting for reference.

I had tiny stickers to cover his peepee so dw dw.

I couldn't find the article I was reading at the time, but here is a really similar one that explains the stages and is very accurate to what I experienced.

Imma sleep, goodnight <3

[feybeasts]

At the end of the day, we’re all just trying to find a direction for ourselves, the path that works for us. And like… no matter what some people will tell you, not a damned soul has an answer for the right way to go, the right direction to travel, the right stars to guide you. I think, and I’ve learned in thirty-odd years marked both by unbelievable joy and utter despair, that often the only thing you can do moment-to-moment is just… place yourself in the little things. Share a smile with someone, find the hobbies that keep you sane, try to spend what time you can in the company of your loved ones, and acknowledge that the world is big and loud and full of things so far beyond you, beyond any of us, that to cling to any one of them is to be dragged along with it.

Yeah, there’s a lot going on out there- a whole hell of a lot- but you’re a fragile creature who needs something real and immediate to keep your eyes on, to keep you anchored. You need to touch the grass and smell the breeze, take the sensations in not because you’re disconnected from the reality they represent, but because those small things, those real things, remind you that there’s a world beyond culture wars and current events and the big questions everyone asks but nobody really is able to answer alone. You should always remember that you inhabit a place and a time and a space, and that no matter what exists outside of those things, you can always come back to them. That you might not be able to bring the dawn, but you can light a candle in its stead.

[lesbianrobin]

about to say something So reddit-y i'm sorry but. people who take the bible/christianity like Seriously are so scary. they will say shit that is just fully disconnected from reality and we all have to roll with it. they will tell CHILDREN that they'll go to hell and be tortured for eternity if they sin or doubt the church's teachings or question the existence of god. and you can't tell that poor terrified kid that nobody really knows if god is real, or you're undermining their parents and disrespecting their faith.

and it's all so ARBITRARY like if a mormon or jehovah's witness tries to recruit you to their church you're allowed to laugh it off and be like haha those guys are weirdos! but if an evangelical tries to recruit you then you have to be nice because they're well intentioned and they're trying to save you blah blah like fuck OFF you ALL suck granted in different ways and to different degrees but OVERALL YOU ARE ALL LETTING YOURSELVES BE MANIPULATED AND IN TURN YOU ARE MANIPULATING OTHERS. and i hate you. and your pastor is probably an evil cunt. and basing your literal entire life around one of many translations of a variable collection of 3,000 year old texts is unbelievably stupid. and it's like insanely deeply sad how entrenched people become in self-deprecating or hateful thought patterns as a result of the christian church.

and i absolutely understand people enjoying faith and traditions and community but to act as if christianity and faith in the bible is the only or the superior way to have these things in your life is ridiculous. and megachurches are fucking weird. and the emphasis that many christians place on serving and obeying the lord fosters an environment where children are encouraged to blindly obey authority and discouraged from forming their own thoughts and listening to their instincts which i personally believe contributes to the widespread abuse seen across various christian denominations. and sending children to christian schools and church camps and youth groups is literally indoctrination but you can't call it that bc it's disrespectful. and i could literally go on forever and i know i will lose followers for posting this and i probably shouldn't post it at all but i simply do not care anymore and this is my blog to rant about dumb shit as i please. anyway i'm gonna have some candied cashews love you all ✌🏻

[moosefeels]

anyway because there’s something wrong with me i wound up reading the gospels again and i think the thing that i find so like. difficult, emotionally and intellectually, about the state of christianity (all kinds) in the US is how disconnected from like. the actual content of the thing itself it seems?  in an incident that i can only really describe as “weird cognitohazard self harm” i wound up on tradcath twitter and it’s just so powerfully, powerfully sad how, like, outrageously small the political and spiritual imagination of these people are. living in genuine terror of “vaccine shedding” and talking about burning “occult” or “satanic” board games that were gifts from their non-catholic family members or like, how difficult it is to pay for gas or groceries while driving hundreds of miles round trip to go to latin-rite mass in towns over the state line while either homeschooling or putting kids in latin-rite tradcath private schools. like i have encountered a married-in-this-year woman who is waiting to miscarry a nonviable pregnancy because abortion is a mortal sin. 

and it’s just. it makes me so unbelievably sad. like i can’t help but pity these people who are living in an entirely different universe in which the comet ping-pong shit was real and balenciaga constitutes a legitimate threat to their children and they’re throwing out their televisions because “even the commercials” are a threat. like their fear is so palpable and so all-consuming and they can’t even see it. it’s like how fish don’t recognize water because it constitues the totality of their reality. 

and like, i guess usually i think about this through the window of US protestantism, just because i had an unreal amount of exposure to that as a kid. there was a thing i read forever ago about walking the camino de santiago that briefly touched on how medieval christians imagined themselves as, roughly, infantry in an infinite cosmic war that happened all around them, constantly, in stakes for eternity. and it’s interesting to encounter people who live that way now, because on paper the idea of your life being a battle against demons sounds very grand and magnificent, but in practice it is blindingly, terribly small. it means being afraid of your neighbors and your grocery store clerk and your children’s teachers and your doctors and your nurse and hell it even means being afraid of other priests. it’s tragic to see so much work go into being so miserable, so loudly, so publicly, and to no meaningful end.

and i guess the thing about the gospels (and, holy shit, the stories of saints!) that i find so compelling and moving is the impetus to reach out to other people. like it makes the world feel so big and the work you can do in it feel urgent and beautiful and political. i guess i just can’t make heads or tails of the disconnect. 

[denpamen]

WARNING: I don't know anything about Ace Attorney What Ace Attorney character would deal with The Flash the best?

Honestly, it wouldn’t be Edgeworth, it wouldn’t be anyone smart. It’d be the judge, from AA1-3.

And I have a good reason for saying this, because this stupid fucking old fart is so unbelievably disconnected from reality. He wouldn’t even know the difference unless there was a case to settle over it. Not only that, but he stays in his chair 24/7, it’s high up and hard to get to. He’d just have to have a stash of some jerky and he’s set for years. He has no sense of order, no not even in court, coffee cups and birds fly across his courtroom and his only point of contention is “erm! Mr Wright! This finger print is expired!”. I seriously don’t think anything actually gets to him anymore. God, Buzzo could fucking walk in and be like “give me your arm!” and he’d be like “what arm? I forgot I had that! This mallet has a mind of its own!” I hate this old piece of shit so much but unfortunately he’d definitely cope the best and survive the longest by being guarded by his invincible chair.

[jeaninthephilippines]

I am beginning to accept the nature of this trip. This isn't a vacation about sight-seeing and tourist-y things to do. This is to live as through my mother's eyes. While I am grateful for her and my lola's health and energy, I also understand the limits of my requests.

Today my mom wanted me to experience walking the way to our morning zumba class in a different part of our province. Again with the warning about dog poo has me on high alert. As we walked down the road without sidewalks, I was quickly saying yet another prayer of how I am so grateful for sidewalks. If someone pulled back the camera to see me and my mom head down to class today, it would look like she's a mother hen and I was a small chick fighting for my life to keep up with her lead.

There were small businesses everywhere selling produce, house wares, meats, and snacks.

We were the earliest ones so I entertained myself watching a 2 on 2, shoes versus no shoes men's game. I couldn't help but be in awe how they effortlessly kick off their slippers and played as though they had shoes on. Then a big foul during a layup got them heated. I had to put my ADHD sensibilities at bay because I so badly wanted to assume the role of referee and mediate. Hahah!

While standing at the center of the court waiting for class to set up, one of two boonie dogs started to run my way. My first thought was it's going to bite me. I stuck my hand out gently and it pulled its own brakes, then gently walked towards me. My mom starts to walk towards me to check me. The dog gets on its back begging me to play with him. My mom stated that maybe he realizes I am dog person. This moment made me feel so deeply a lot of things. Am I so connected to my dog, it's a permission into the world of dogs? Am I so connected to the world now, it's opened up signs of tenderness like this dog's affection and the little baby reaching for my hand on Sunday? Have I been disconnected so long from the things in my life that matter, that I could no longer see the good that frequents itself in my life but I was head deep into my phone, stress, and people who ultimately were vampires?

The Zumba instructor was this thick, strong woman I regrettably left without taking a picture. During these Zumba classes, my body remembers a time when I finished college with only part time work and full time fun to do. My body remembers how it loved dancing and community.

We make our way home buying 3 bags of produce for about $6. Unbelievable. I mentally prepare myself to be a baby chick again for the walk home.

My mom walks up to one of the motorcycles with a sidecar (they're everywhere for a good reason) to take us home. I hesitate, then agree. The driver was so thoughtful as we drove down the streets trying to avoid all the potholes with his bike. I was too tall to be in there but it was a funny moment to share with my mom.

I've come to terms with my size as an Amazon woman here in this reality. I like the Wonder Woman association, especially when my mother is driving around assholes and I whisper under my breath, "I will break that person with my bare hands if I have to." Hahah

I don't think my mom sees all of my value because 1. She's in mom mode, charge mode. 2. She's got her nose deep into her phone with funny reels, her posts, and counting of followers that she's occupied with.

But when she wanted to give up doing an errand (getting a security sticker to enter this elite shopping area) because of the parking lot crowdedness, I gently coached her to be patient and hang on. We persisted and I tried to joke-but-not-joke credit myself for being helpful for morale, she brushed it off.

And in those moments where I forgive her for ADHD tendencies, I also forgive myself. I know how she treats me, is how I treat others. The world moves so fast for us, who has time to say thank you? Who has time to live when anxiety is driving the body?

It's only day 4 and I am learning to live again. I hope the universe kismet kisses me again by reaching for my hand to say, "We here and we're alive."

[safesthaveninexistence]

It’s okay for me to move with love. I’m the apex predator. My Magic and power is INSANE IM LAUGHING🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 IM GRATEFUL IM HAVING SM FUN WITH MY PSYCHIC POWERS. HAVING FUN WITH MY PSYCHIC POWERS ONLY GETS MORE AND MORE INFINITELY FUN. HAVING FUN WITH MY PSYCHIC POWERS ONLY GET MORE AND MORE INFINITELY EXHILARATING, ESCTATIC, FULFILLINGLY, AMAZING AND BREATHTAKING. WOW I see my beautifully huge super yacht… geez I’m seeing visions. Geez…..Wow I’m receiving visions. My yacht……puts all to shame. I’m MONSTROUSLY BIG BALLIN….Dawg I’m a MF ZILLIONAIRE…….(chills) I don’t gotta worry they just psychically know. My zillionaire energy feels tangible. My zilllionaire energy feels tangible and palpable like Rick Ross. Like that shit screamed “BILLIONAIRE” like that shit’s a frequency. And I’m on the Zillionaire frequency. I’m nailed to the version of me that’s on the Zillionaire frequency. I naturally pick effortless choices. MY WORD IS POWER DAMNNNNNNNNNNNNNN BRUH. I am as certain Laika is realer than my very flesh as certain that I am that it gets dark at night. I am as certain I defeated Taylor Swift as certain that I am that it gets dark at night. They understand not the words but my energy. I open up easily to friends and connect with them, having a more fulfilling social life. It’ll happen naturally. I’ll get in touch with old friends I actually miss naturally. Right now I just rest and be powerful. My psychic powers are wild yo😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 everything about me is black Magic I’m mesmerizing. I’m a mesmerizing siren song. I’m a haunting siren song. Everything is rigged in my favor. I can hate and shit be rigged into my favor. I can complain shit be rigged into my favor. I can be uncertain and shit be rigged into my favor. Ain’t nobody be rigging shit into their favor the way I do. I’m the apex predator of rigging shit into my favor. Yeah Laika laughs along with me about my psychic powers like LMFAOOOOOOOOOO. That deepest intimacy sense of humor. Laika looks beyond heavenly. Omg. She sets my heart on fire like never before. Laika and I never get the ick with each other. We’re too deeply in love with each other omg. This is insane. Sex with Laika is passionately intense and tangible. Sex with Laika is terrifyingly tangible. Everyday I’m mind boggled Laika’s real she’s so breathtaking. Tatted up. I step on the neck of brujeria. I’m automagically the version of myself that’s supposed to walk through them doors. Bruh it’s gon take me a while to get used to Laika. Im powerful without reason. I can infallibly predict what’s coming next with razor-sharpest precision. I’m in the zillionaire superstar reality w Laika in a whole ‘nother lifetime. I experience more and more infinite never-in-a-million-years moments. The way I speak is unbelievably poetic. Magic is disconnected from logic. Once I see signs it’s inevitably coming like my birthday. I trust my Magic figure it out like it always do. Me and Laika we have deep sense of humor. Like we both joke about how I’m God. My Magic’s so indisputable it’s LAUGHABLE. I’m my own favorite melody. I’m my own favorite melody. Because there’s nothing more attractive than one that’s tuned into their own melody. I’m unbelievably gorgeous as hell. It’s inevitably coming sooner than I think. It’s terrifyingly undeniable Laika and zillionaire superstar reality came sooner than I even thought. Fame came sooner than I think wtf. It all came sooner than I thought. I’m so painfully pretty. Laika’s cool as hell wow we got matching grills we’re a vibe. I’m Saweetie type fine. I’m the finest bro. My self-validation game only gets more and more infinitely terrifyingly indisputable. Laika’s gonna show up in 48 hours. Life only gets more and more infinitely surreal. Life only gets more and more infinitely tangibly unreal. I’m a doll face. I’m free cause everything’s rigged in my favor. I’m terrifyingly so fine it’s not even funny.

[jambjars]

ACADEMIC BLOG POST 4- Realism: Emotional and Visual Shades

Art isn't always about what's most impressive. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a good photorealistic portrait that took years to make as much as the next arts student, but art isn't always about capturing the precision of physical reality, regardless of the effort that goes into such projects.

Many of the largest names out there in production are dedicated to the idea that realistic art = good art, as if stylized works are less deserving of respect. I thoroughly disagree with that notion, especially when voiced in relation to my field of animation. The most striking examples I have in mind are, of course, Disney's two Lion King projects. The sheer amount of work that went into the image on the right can't be denied, and it's certainly beautiful, but I feel it was an utterly unnecessary project save for excellent portfolio work for the CGI artists.

The story of The Lion King shines because of its emotional weight, its human nature, being an adaptation of Shakespeare's Hamlet. While we as people can empathise with animals very easily, this is a human story in an allegorical skin to begin with, and its beautifully stylized animation and expressiveness was what made it so. Animation captures the impossible and draws us into an unbelievable narrative, and as such I believe the 2019 version suffers from the pitfalls of hypermediacy. Despite its realistic style, immersion cannot truly be experienced by the audience because of the sheer unrealism of the narrative taking place in apparently normal animals. There is no compelling reason for this narrative to take place, which causes an intense disconnect in audiences.

On the opposite end of the style scale is a gem I've stumbled across-- the game Perfect Tides by Meredith Gran.

The visual style is nothing like reality, but the game so realistically captures the emotjonal realities of teenage girlhood.

Bibliography

BadElephantGaming (2022). The Best Gaming Story of 2022 Is In PERFECT TIDES. [online] Available at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmloIlBnXac&ab_channel=BadElephantGaming

Coleman, Tina. "There Are No Stars in Brooklyn: Octopus Pie." Booklist, vol. 106, no. 16, 15 Apr. 2010, p. 33. Gale Academic OneFile, link.gale.com/apps/doc/A224774955/AONE?u=uniherts&sid=bookmark-AONE&xid=17871665

Culkin, Kate. "Octopus Pie Extends Its Reach." Publishers Weekly Online, 25 May 2010. Gale Academic OneFile, link.gale.com/apps/doc/A477430812/AONE?u=uniherts&sid=summon&xid=ba261c77.

Sorlin, P. (2017). André Bazin, or the Ambiguity of Reality. In: AITKEN, I The Major Realist Film Theorists: A Critical Anthology. Edinburgh: Edinburgh University Press.

The Lion King. (1994) [2D Animated Film]. Buena Vista Pictures.

The Lion King. (2019). [Film, CGI] Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures.

[celticcrossanon]

Celta, at this point I think doctors are going to need to surgically remove Prince Harry's head from his backside. Unbelievable. Neil Sean on Youtube reports Harry wants answers to why his popularity has slumped so much. Harry has allegedly said to his PR team "it's not his fault his popularity has slumped. It's simply because people aren't doing the right thing for him." Are we sure Harry is not Prince Andrew's son, lol? They are both arrogant and dim to the extreme. Wow.

Hi Nonny,

Oh my goodness. The arrogance of that statement, and the disconnect from reality - wow. Just, wow. Once again he is blaming other people instead of taking responsibility for his actions. It is definitely the 'go through life' mode for him at the moment, isn't it?

The resemblance between Harry and Andrew is striking at some points in time, and this is one of them.

[goji-pilled]

It's ya boi, comin at you with the FLUFF. I know, fluff. Unbelievable. Probably will make you cry anyways because i know i'm gonna! Sorry if some details are incorrect im running off of spite and sugar rn and trying to find the exact details is a mess :pensive: - 2.0 Anon - The Law of Cycles. That's what the magical girls she met always called her. it was a lonely name yet everyone she met looked up to her with joy, with hope. Her wish was making the world a better place and she was so happy for that. But it gets boring sometimes, as a deity who's unseen by all unless they've.. well.. That's just sad and she doesn't wish to think about it right now. She still has time before she and Homura can be reunited but.. She frowned. Was that record always there? In the beginning, when she became this Deity the first thing she did before helping magical girls was preserve Homura's timelines. While they couldn't happen anymore, she made sure to keep them preserved. They had sad memories, but also happy ones. She made them into form of records so she could always be reminded why she did this. But then there was this new, strange one. All of her records were labelled to the dot. What timeline they were, when they began, and what time they ended on the dot. So.. this new one, being unmarked on its end time made her curious. That's never happened before. Sure, she'd made a few accidental records by messing up in the initial ones but.. They always had an end date. Because they all *always* ended. It was odd. But she was curious. So she left the magical girls on her plane of existence to take care of themselves while she watched this record, her curiosity chewing at her until she set for it to play. At first, it was the same. Her and Sayaka meeting Mami and kyubey, Homura and Mami getting off on the wrong foot. She thought back to how they're better friends now. But then there was the first deviation. Charolette, Or Nagisa as she's known now, didn't appear. Odd. She didn't rewind the record yet, wanting to see what happened. Maybe she was just late, It wasn't unusual for Charolette to not appear at the same time every timeline. Sometimes she didn't appear at all, those were the lucky ones. But then Sayaka's downfall came and a ting of sadness came into her chest, only to be reminded she was happier now. A sad smile came to her face while she listened to Kyoko tell the Madoka in the record about her plan to get Sayaka back. She blinked a little, seeing Mami there with Kyoko and even agreeing. Did.. Did she miss something? Probably. But thats not an issue, she has all the time in the world to rewatch this later after she gives it the end time. The Record Madoka agreed to the plan, and so did Mami. Madokami knew it'd fail. It never worked. but. Then it did. The same series of events played out, with Homura rescuing Madoka and Mami before they came to harm. Mami had been knocked clean unconscious from an attack Oktavia did. She expected to watch her two friends meet their end again but.. Just as Kyoko cast out her soul gem, to her total shock Oktavia leapt from her throne and pushed the soul gem back to Kyoko. She blinked, watching Oktavia yell in runnish at Kyoko for being stupid. She paused the record. What.. What was this timeline? This was new. It was unique. None of them had ever been like this. they'd all been unique in special ways but this.. This had never happened before. A smile crept to her lips. She needed to know more. because if this was a timeline where they got to be happy in the old system.. Maybe it didn't need an end time, and it could go on forever. Maybe thats why it appeared, because it was a disconnected reality that came to be through a wish. She takes no credit. But she wants to see more. See how her friends got to live. Got to be *happy*. How she got to be happy with them. .... She misses Homura just that bit more. yet, Looks forward to their reunion with everyone else.

She played the record again, watching with an intent gaze to see how this record played A special timeline. One that'd never end, if she had any say in it. She watched Charolette be brought back just like Oktavia had. She watched them smile. and watched the struggles, the pain. But in the end, they were happy. Their smiles she'd hold in her heart forever. And maybe she'd have to watch how this played out, just a little while longer.

I'm giing to kiss you that is the best fucking thing ever

[bookish-enneagram]

Anakin Skywalker | Sexual Type Nine | Full Profile

Basic Fear: Of loss and separation; of annihilation

Basic Desire: To maintain their inner stability and peace of mind

Superego Message: "You are good or okay as long as those around you are good or okay."

Focus of Attention: on others, on what is going on in the environment, and on avoiding conflict and achieving harmony.

Passion: Sloth

Anakin lived a life that was entirely for other people. Specifically those close to him; his mother, Obi-Wan, Padme, Chancellor Palpatine, Ashoka, and eventually Luke. Anakin was known for how much he loved and cared for these individuals, and in reality he merged with them and their needs. All Nines need to merge with something on account of their passion, which I will explain. Unlike a Self-Preservation Nine, who merges with physical comforts and routines, or a Social Nine who merges with the group, Anakin merges with specific individuals, like a classic Sexual, or One-to-One Nine.

We will start by acknowledging his greatest fear, and what drove him to the Dark Side; his fear of loss. Anakin had this fear going back to when he was a child. His mother was his whole life and, like any child, it pained him to leave her, telling her he’d come back for her. This sense of loss extended to Obi-Wan, Palpatine, Ashoka, and Padme. We see in the Revenge of the Sith novelization, which I highly recommend, how much he worries about Obi-Wan and Palpatine. With Padme, it’s much more obvious. He was willing to do anything, even monstrous things, to avoid losing her. This was a product of his disintegration to Six.

To start this section out, not all Nines disintegrating to Six will commit mass genocide and kill children. Rather this is a fictional event. However, the causes behind the action are definitely from his disintegration. At the beginning of Revenge of the Sith, he is at Level 4 of type Nine’s Levels of Development. He is accommodating to his friends and the Jedi council and somewhat lacks a will of his own, which we will discuss more later.

When he has the dream about Padme, he starts freaking out and goes into frantic action. The only way he’s okay is if she’s okay. It is unbelievably accurately stated in this excerpt by Don Richard Riso:

“At Level 4, Nines are busy accommodating themselves to the wishes and expectations of others. They put their own agendas on the “back burner” and comply with other people’s demands in order to reduce the possibility of conflicts. When circumstances cause their anxieties to increase, they may well go to Six and engage in lots of “organizational activity.” Like average Sixes, they attempt to stabilize their environment and their relationships in order to make them safer. They may get into intensive periods of work, investing their time and energy in activities they believe will enhance their security, and thus their peace of mind. These actions are guided not by positive intention, however, but by anxiety. They also begin to identify more strongly with protectors, supporters, groups, or ideas that increase their self-confidence and give them a feeling of purpose and direction.”

He works so hard to prevent Padme’s death, so far as joining the Sith, to enhance his security and peace of mind by having the power to keep her alive. It’s all guided by a sense of anxiety fueled by a fear of loss. Now, regarding his self-confidence. I believe what looked like arrogance near the end of the movie was part of his move to Six. He began to identify more with Palpatine and his beliefs and less with the Jedi. This gave him purpose and direction by giving him a sense of justification for all that was being done. As if he was doing the right thing. “The Jedi are evil”, “I’ve brought peace, freedom, justice, and security to my new empire”, and “if you’re not with me, you’re my enemy” are some examples of this self-confidence. You could say he even merged with Darth Vader.

Another extremely important thing to mention which I vaguely mentioned earlier is the Passion of the Nine. The Passion is one of the most important things in finding a person or character’s Enneagram type. For Anakin, the Passion is Sloth. This may seem odd, considering he is a human. But Sloth in this regard is an inattention to self, not the animal. Now, this plays out in various ways depending on the subtype, whether Sexual, Social, or Self-Preservation. For Anakin, a Sexual type, his attention is focused on close relationships, as I said earlier. He completely merges with those close to him and they become his focus of attention, not his own wants or needs. He does seem more willful and assertive than a classic Sexual Nine, but that is due to his Eight wing, which conflicts with the Nine in that it gives Nines with an Eight wing more of an instinctual drive, as stated below:

“Nines with an Eight-wing are more sensual and instinctive than the Nines with a One-wing, and tend to operate more on feelings and hunches. They tend to embody more the easygoing demeanor associated with Nines, but also give the impression of being more “physical,” more grounded. This is one of the most difficult subtypes to understand because the component types are in such diametrical opposition to each other.”

Darth Vader. The typing is exactly the same and I will tell you why. Nothing has changed about him. He just has no one, no purpose. He deteriorates to an extremely unhealthy Nine, specifically Level 9, and it takes him finding out about Luke to bring him back. Some lines from Riso about Level 9 Nines below:

“They disintegrate as persons into the most extreme state of dissociation from who they are. As we have seen, their receptive orientation to life has facilitated their flight from self-awareness. Now, they completely flee from themselves. In most cases, neurotic Nines unconsciously abandon themselves as whole persons, reinvesting consciousness into various fragments of themselves, each of which may represent an aspect of the self which has been repressed and denied and undeveloped. Memories, dreamlike trances, and emotional reactions seem to come and go at random. It is as though the very structure of the personality has come “unglued” or broken apart, and only its constituents remain to interact with the environment. To abandon themselves as persons, retreating into complete dissociation and fragmenting their personalities, is a “solution” of sorts, because then it is not really they who live but someone else through whom they can live. We have seen that average Nines tend to live through the other; now we see that they live through the other-self, the fragments of the self which are little more than the disconnected identifications and relationships with significant others from the Nine’s past. The core self has been so traumatized that it is as though in a dream without a dreamer. This can hardly be called living. Furthermore, because one of the subpersonalities can do harm to other people or to itself, this is neither a safe nor truly adaptive way to live. Moreover, Nines who so feared losing or separating from others have not only psychologically done so, they have also separated from and lost themselves.”

As well as:

“Unhealthy Nines with an Eight-wing are capable of violence with little concern about the consequences of their actions. Aggressions and id impulses are strong in people of this subtype, and when they are emotionally unstable, there is little ego strength left to regulate these forces.”

Basically, Vader lost who he was. It isn’t him, he’s broken and dissociated from his true self; the helpful, caring friend, mentor, and husband. His whole outlook changes when he finds out about Luke. He is given purpose again. He tries to have him join him and have them rule the galaxy as father and son. His last act is saving the son that brought him back to the light, and all of this makes him a pretty damn good character all around.