#because if theres not like. an obvious reason for however i feel how am i supposed to judge if im calling an ambulance for a scraped knee

[aropride]

one thing i just do not fucking get is the difference between "regulating emotions" and "suppressing emotions" i cannot get my head around how those are different. like if im sad and then i go "well im not going to be sad anymore" that's "dissociating" and "suppressing healthy emotions" but if im sad and im like "well im going to cry until i actually pass out" that's "not healthy" and it's BAD to suppress emotions but it's ALSO BAD to get super upset so WHAT IS THE SECRET THIRD THING cuz i do not fucking get it. "feel your feelings But not that way that's not healthy feel your feelings but less than that" ???????

[dwarvenchords]

Thank you for your answers!! As previously mentioned I am super nosy so I have more questions but ofc feel free to skip!!

Your sternum tattoo sounds SO COOL!! I don't see how it'd be tacky though?? Did you grow up in Texas? From my Texan friends I can imagine that the culture is a bit of a peculiar thing, but I don't see how it's tacky! I understand wanting to see other things, though! <3 As someone who was with a US marine before, I FEEL. Godspeed 🙏

I definitely understand getting closer with your sibling as you get older!! It gets easier I think, once you grow out of being simply siblings and understanding that you're both people. I'm glad it's working out for you!

hey angel <33 i am more than happy to answer more questions heehee

i do really love that tattoo, and i did grow up in texas, but i think the reason i think it's tacky when im home is because its just like SO texas pride yeehaw. like i know other people that have this kind of tattoo probably have it in a "lone star state dont tread on me" type way, like eagle screeches and national anthem playing in the background. When mine is more like.. bluebonnet field and art and just an appreciation of nature? im sure that the everything about me makes it very obvious that i DONT have it in that first way, like i definitely dont look sound or behave like a like texas is the only country type, considering im an alt dressing mullet ish haircut having queer individual, but its just a worry of mine that people will think i have very different views opinions and a level of intelligence than i actually have. i think once i have more tattoos which i know will influence the tone that having this tattoo has will make me feel different about it, but atm its j a weird me thing, lmao

i will definitely not be dating this marine, this is not a deep concern of mine. however id love to know if we're on the same page about each other (aka like, have you been/are you interested in me but are just too afraid to do somethign ab it, or are you just not interested at all), and i jsut dont, which is driving me a little crazy. however i live in a different city than him and have for years at this point, and being back in that city instead of home visitng my hometown and seeing him every day is def making me get a lot less in my head ab it

i think the fact that we are figuring out we're both people is a great way to put it. theres a higher level of respect thats been built between us as we've created lives for ourselves so it has definitely made our relationship a lot stronger, im also not being an "im too cool to be friend with my family" teenager like i was when we were kids.

once again i appreciate u asking me things moss ur a dear heehee

[didwho]

Hello! You mentioned looking for more info about labels and stuff, so, if you're interested, here are a few things we've personally learned from several years as a "Origins Are Weird And Confusing" system who has been in therapy for A While at this point, in case they're useful to you: - you deserve whatever support you need, regardless of origin or dx or anything else. Therapy, friends who listen to you and support you, academic or workplace accommodations, the right to be unhappy and having a shitty time--you don't have to prove anything to be allowed to want/have those things. - trauma is a subjective experience about how your brain processed something difficult--not about whether the events were 'objectively bad enough to count', because there is no externally defined threshold. (There are certain types of negative experiences that are statistically very likely to be traumatic to the average person, but that absolutely does not mean that only those types of experiences "count".) - if you are experiencing lasting negative impacts from something that happened to you, 1) there is nothing you need to prove in order to be 'allowed' to get support for it; 2) anyone telling you that it wasn't bad enough to affect you is wrong. (This is true even in contexts completely unrelated to syscourse, btw!) - DID in specific is predominantly associated with chronic trauma/adverse experiences during childhood. However, if you have struggles with mental health issues and feel like a system, your options are not just either "100% Definitely DID" or "You're Making It All Up". Whether the label that happens to fit you and your experiences best is DID or any other label (OSDD, MaDD, PTSD + system, "stuff is shitty rn" + system, "who even knows", etc.) is between yourselves and the people on your support team--it's not the business of internet discourse randos trying to tell you whether or not you're valid. (Besides, figuring out what labels fit you best often isn't actually easy or obvious right away, for any number of reasons--including the fact that sketchy and/or 'muted' memories of awful experiences is a big part of many CDDs--and that's okay. Really. You get to figure stuff out at your own pace.) - you are allowed to use/benefit from CDD management strategies and ways of thinking whether or not you have one. (People without ADHD can use bullet journals. DBT isn't just for people with BPD. Etc. If it helps you, the important part is that it helps you.) - don't let the haters get you down. (There are folks out there in syscourse with complex and nuanced opinions, legitimate critiques of communities, etc.! And also, there are sometimes people who just want to be 'allowed' to feel hateful towards someone, aren't in good faith, and aren't interested in listening. What those people think of you or say about you Does. Not. Matter. They are howling at the moon.)

Good luck out there <3

thank you so so so so so much for the kind words!! i preach all of the same things yet sometimes its hard to believe it for yourself, so i genuinely really appreciate the reassurance.

i am looking for a label as of currently because i dont really know whats what, yknow?? its hard for someone like me because despite preaching all of those things, i struggle to understand what defines trauma!

a lot of my headmates tend to agree we do have trauma, but those who dont tend to feel very strongly about not, so it kinda pushes that positivity away!

it really sucks to be both your own supporter and your own enemy at the same time (not calling my headmates enemies its just the best way i can describe it)!

the vents i post are usually when im feeling fired up or upset over things, and again, for that post/ rant i had earlier i spread misinfo, which i feel HORRIBLE about, but i will keep the post up because someone else made a point on it and had the patience to help educate me!

i am still learning and alla that, its hard to navigate this community because theres so many terms, and due to general amnesia, whether it be the fact im a system or due to my ADHD, its hard to get a grasp on all of those!

anyways, sorry for the ramble and thank you so much for the kind words! i hope you have an amazing day ❤️

[bringisfluffypones]

witch hat atelier ponies! here come the magic dads and their adopted children. all of them have trauma! (i know we didnt get that tetia backstory yet but have you seen this series? id be more surprised if there wasnt a sad backstory hiding in that voluminous pink hair)

since im pretty happy with this one, have a wall of text about cutie mark reasoning, some headcannons and other random ramblings below

- first off, the doodles on the left show how witches of each pony tribe draw the seals; earth ponies have retractable ink wands, pegasi use wingtip wands. unicorns pose a bit of a problem here given theyre already magic horses, so WHA unicorns can only perform the most basic magic there is in mlp canon ie object levitation. we will conveniently ignore the question of how they hide their seal drawing when theyre not really wearing any clothes. the ratio of each tribe in witch population is 60:30:10 unicorns:pegasi:earth ponies. due to this unicorns are generally viewed as best witches (where classical unicorns are held above regular ones); then pegasi, then earth ponies, however, this is more a matter of stereotypes than inherent biology traits.

- im gonna go character by character, left to right, note some titbits if i have any about them, and add in my reasoning behind each cutie mark. i am sticking to only one set of character names, if you read a different translated version and are used to another way a name is written.... look agott alone has like a dozen of them, im not writing them all out okay? okay good lets go

olruggio: him and his disaster husband have complimenting designs; i opted to go for that fire and water duality with them, rather than just black and white. so olly has dark red coat against qifrey´s light blue. admittedly, making him a pegasus wasnt all that deliberate decision, he would probably make a good unicorn just fine, but i figured making them all unicorns is predictable and boring, so why not have some fun? he can have some flying, as a treat (we will omit sylph shoes existing in case of this crossover). his cutie mark is a contraption tool inside a flame; both pretty obvious choices, he is an inventor and the one character with an entire monologue about a fire.

qifrey: correct me if im wrong, but i think qifrey is juuuuust a tiny bit taller than olruggio in the manga, so the drawing reflects it. his cutie mark is a water drop creating ripples in the water surface; the water aspect in him is clear. his decision to take coco in is what jump starts all the events that unfold, and his relentless pursuit of brimcaps show he is not someone to, pardon the awkward pun, let the waters stay calm.

- agott: ah. she. my favorite, best character right here, prepare for me going off. unlike everyone else, agott´s ears are perpetually folded (she is one serious and a little bit grumpy child after all), but that doesnt necessarily mean she always feels grumpy or sad. she just prefers using words to emoting, which is entirely fair. i hear all zero of you asking, why isnt she a unicorn? surely the arklaums would all be fancy unicorns (yes, really, i think akrome is the most spread around version of her surname, but like i said im sticking to the translated version i prefer because like, again theres at least five different ways this surname is translated), given theyre one of the original houses, shouldering that legacy. reason is twofold: one, being born an earth pony, the one with a runaway gene (here´s where i point to the cake twins as canon mlp example), enhances her status as the family outcast; gives one more reason for her desperation to prove herself to her family. two, it gives her another connection to coco, something she despises at first but then accepts and even cherishes later as she gets to know coco. and because angst is the fuel that keeps me afloat, here´s a fun twist: do yall remember chapter 23, where iguin starts tattooing a forbidden spell on agott´s lower arm but doesnt finish it? i remember. now,  kamome shirahama the series´creator doesnt, as far as ive noticed at least, keep this unfinished spell on agott´s arm (granted its like, just one long line canonically so maybe i just missed it), but to me its way too intriguing of a concept. so pony agott has an incomplete seal on her hoof where you can tell its a seal, and boi does it cause problems to both agott´s psyche and bring unwanted outside attention (you bet there was at least one confrontation with knights moralis over this). she generally hides it under a bracer if theyre away from the atelier. now, her cutie mark is the one im most proud of; a book and a purple bird (specifically a phoenix) in front. the book symbolizes both her personal goal to become a librarian in the tower of tomes, and her main strength as a witch, that is technique derived from studying and hard work. the phoenix symbolizes a cycle of change, of rebirth. she was rejected from house arklaum only to find herself in qifrey´s atelier; a second chance to prove herself. the endless cycle of changes in her life, and she does her best to keep rolling with them. and in her own words, she always strives to become someone better, never content to be as she is now.

coco: as mentioned, coco is an earth pony, an obvious choice for the regular-person-thrusted-into-magical-world characters. she is actually really stoked about agott being an earth pony as well, since agott being so skilled with magic gives coco hope she will be great in her own way one day. brushbuddy enjoys being carried by coco, ponies are fluffy. her cutie mark is a wand, but the tip is a painting stone; a link between her old-new calling of magic finally given a chance, and her past as daughter of a seamstress and her ability to draw perfect straight lines. longing, working towards a future where she can both keep her magic and return her mom from petrification.

richeh: now, like qifrey, i made richeh a unicorn, but unlike qifrey, she is a classical unicorn; that means sligtly tilted ears, longer and curvier horn, and a leonine tail. her trademark deadpan stare is of course included. her cutie mark is an ink wand changing into one of her crystal ribbons, a symbol of her originality and the way she wants to keep her spells her own.

tetia: she has a habit of pronking instead of walking, fitting given she´s the most pinkie pie-esque character in WHA. and also im still terrible at drawing pegasi in flight, but we dont have to talk about that part. her cutiemark is rather simple, a cloud and a rainbow. rainbow for her general disposition and her focus on gratitude, and the cloud for her proficiency/interest in cloud magic.

thats about it! i talked way too much about this, i´ll probably end up drawing some more stuff for WHA.

[emilybakermedia]

My Introduction!!

Hi im Emily! New to Media studies as an A Level because i, personally, didnt take it as a GSCE but i am excited to take this subject. 

The reason i took Media studies specifically was because, when going around the different stalls which explained the different subjects, Media studies stood out for me instead of the rest because the topics you learn about was interesting for me. I was also quite interested in learning how to edit and use software.

I am unaware of what i would use this subject for in the future, however learning about modern day society and having knowledge about the media is useful in day-to-day things.

Im interested about a lot of media, however i mostly like movies and listening to music. I dont have a specific favourite as i like most movies, however my comfort movie will always be Detective Pikachu. Its a pokemon movie, do i need to explain? Pokemon has been a huge part of my life as my older brother introduced me into it so when i saw that it was live-action, it was just really fascinating seeing the pokemon running around.

This is one of my favourite music videos, it really shows the reality of women and their bodies. I can really relate to having body problems myself so this music video hits hard for me. 

Theres some specific lines in the song that really show society and its thoughts around women. ‘They say boys like girls with a tiny waist.’ this line specifically. I’ve never had a tiny waist growing up, and so growing up with these societal expectations that we force upon women, it was hard. I love Melanie in general though, i love listening to her music as she makes it very relatable to a young woman.

If Detective Pikachu is my favourite movie, surely this has got to be my favourite movie trailer? Again, i love Pokemon so much, and it also includes Ryan Renolds in this movie - which just makes it better.

I love the storyline and the humour that is just included in the trailer alone, so this has to be my favourite film trailer.

This has to be my favourite series of adverts - the Haribo ones. The way it shows adults in professional jobs still being able to indulge in childish acts such as eating a packet of sweets in a police car. Their voices also add onto the childishness because of their high-pitched tone. Any of the Haribo adverts are my favourites, this one was just everywhere though, so i naturally feel more nostalgia towards it. All i remember is begging my mum for Haribo after watching it, so i guess the adverts worked!

Well, i didnt really know what media website to put here, thats a bit obvious. Amazon. There isnt many reasons to dislike it, really. You can buy stuff on it, Amazon has helped me with a ton of things so i would say this is one of the media websites i like.

Thank you for reading all about me and my interests!! :)

[archer3-13]

I think that the main reason why people are so freaked out by "immoral ships" isn't because they are not aware that it's not real : but because of how the media portrays the relationships as nothing more than this. No one is going to argue that there is moral way of placing 2 dolls together to play and create the story but the most common way is to respect some morals aspects. Intelligents system too tries to respect that by having Anna waiting until she is mature enough to marry Alear or by having the twins not being related to Alear using a plot or in that case a ship convinient explanation. Intsys weird excuse also take into account morality but they have their own way of making those ships morally acceptable. But the real reason why it bothers people so much is the picture. It makes them pictures somthing rather unsavory. I read a lot of stuff so I am kind of less impacted by that (mind you, however when I stumble upon let's say a fanart of Alear x Veyle i am still quite ewww but not as much as people and I can see such fanart without throwing up or thinking badly of those who made it) but i can see why people would be bothered : sure you pretent the character exist and is related to the others, it's not real, but because you have to keep with this logic, you might feel nauseous seeing those character depicted as lover, even if the fanarist/writer of fanfic made them not related in that fanwork. it can seem as trying to justify incest by saying it isn't since you change the character's relationship. I would not say writing about immoral things is immoral in itself since would it be, we wouldnot be able to talk about the awful stuff that happen. But i can understand why it bothers people to see it romantize. However, when those same people claim shows like Got only are "historicaly accurate" when it's obvious immoral relationship are being romantized and expect their viewers to have already a moral compass capable of knowing it is bad irl, I raise an eyebrow. However I wish people could relativise. It's not as bad as it is irl since the characters never existed to begin with. It's just unpleasant.

no i do agree with ya anon, and i certainly dont blame people for being weirded or grossed out by some of this stuff. I personally find stuff like feet fetish art completely god damn disgusting on a personal level for instance, so i go out of my way to ignore or not engage with it. it when one starts trying to dictate these things to other people when ya start crossin the line so to speak.

and there are times when ya do have to cross that line for the sake of a safe fandom dont get me wrong. if real life monsters are using fandom spaces to facilitate their real life monstrous agendas and beliefs theres an obligation to push back against them for the sake of a fandom environment people feel safe to engage in.

but fandom puritanism... that's the opposite of that obligation to create a safe fandom environment. cause thats less about safety and more about control and dictation of whats 'acceptable' in fandom and enjoyment.

[pasta-and-hedgehogs]

I had a good day today. I made myself a large breakfast and I ate it it was filling and its the first time in a while that feeling full hasnt made me feel bad I was content. I tried yoga again in the morning my knees complained very audibly I felt grounded and connected to myself I tried positive affirmations again this time they didnt feel cheesy or untrue. I sat in the park just before I built up this whole thing in my head that Owen was annoyed with me but again this is just me makeing shit up in my head and believeing it because mental illness and overthinking and anxiety. I was suprisingly ok when I went in his house it felt weird because me memmories of it are seeped with vodka and regret but I think I was able to enjoy myself(me jessie and owen went to the woods) My obsession was subdued and not in full force I think I was actually able to spend time with him as a friend and not wonder if he could like me or chose to love me it was nice to live in reality with him for once does this mean Im over him not fully like I was able to release the hope from my heart and I know we are just friends or maybe we aren't fully but thats not the end of the world. However its the thoughts that are my biggest hurdle at this point like it isnt always fully intense but I am always thinking about you and its nothing in perticular its just like a vibrational frequency in my head like the vibe of you hovering in my brain constantly there craving your presence and I just cant get rid of it theres no distraction in the world that can scrub this feeling out of my head its almost torture like I'm doing my best to get over this but some version of you is buried in my brain like a parasitic worm a tumor pulsating its presence is always known. Somehow we were talking about jesus or ⛪ from my older posts and we got on to the whole me being obsessive and how I made a playlist called "I baked you cookies how could you kiss her" and then I made a joke saying oh I dont really remember how I felt I can check my tumblr posts if you really want to know and then somehow I was reading out exerpts from some posts and it was quite scary to do tbh and I felt quite exposed and vulnerable but yea I think it was fun I didnt feel like I had to play a character or fit in a role I was being me. Well Mr Owen wanted to see my tumblr and I said no for reasons that are quite obvious because he doesnt even know that I had a crush on him (to my knowledge) let alone that I am this level of insane; he made jokes about reblogging on his tumblr and he made jokes about searching tumblr for it and if it was anyone other than those two (jessie and owen)who have been written about in the tumblr honestly part of me wants to know what he would say and think like if he saw the posts about him because most of them are when im in the trying to hate my obsession to get over them but it never works.

[dontlookatmehereplease]

Did I talk about my 23 bday here? I'm not sure and I'm too lazy to check tonight.. this morning. It's better for me to write out here how it made me feel so hopefully I can let it go and figure out how to move on from that day. Ok to start I guess, as usual as of late, it was a depressing day for me still. Multiple reasons but the main thats more prevalent, now that I'm older and able to semi understand peoples general opinions of me, is that now that I'm very openly and loudly out as myself even less and less family is willing to make an appearance or even speak to me. My dumb and naive and sad kid brain still just wants people to eat with at my birthday, the more people who actually gave a shit about me who pass tho is causing an obvious drop in is willing to show. I get people are busy, I get busy, but it's not just my birthday that this is prevalent in, i go to other family dinners and other birthdays and plenty of people are willing to move things and make time for others because they're family. But those same people wouldn't talk to me outside of that predetermined family setting where its unavoidable to see me and where they're forced to chat with me, however brief. I love my family and I always have but the older I get the more I feel like an outsider for being myself. I can't lie and say I never thought about falling back into dark thoughts and just pretending to be okay being their granddaughter and niece again just to have a glimpse of the love I felt from everyone when I was growing up, from before I had the words to put to how I was feeling about my body, to how I was feeling about how others were seeing me as. I miss the dumb ignorance I had on my bad days because on those days I wish for nothing more than to feel their love where their new distance is and I blame myself on especially bad days where I make myself believe that I'm the one who fucked it all up, that it's my fault for that deeper love leaving a void whenever they have to be close to me. Certain members speak as little as possible to me, or make a point of being disinterested in whatever I'm saying or simply just don't speak to me.

On especially bad days I get depressed thinking of why it seems like all the people who honestly accepted and or cared for my best interests passed away, leaving everyone who only played along for that person then stopping when there's no on in their mind to keep up appearances for. It makes me wish I was taken with them, to where others accept me, but I know that wont solve anything. If anything it'd give people even more reason to be disinterested in being correct and polite, I'm scared to ever find out how many would turn and say they saw it coming, or to turn and say improper and incorrect things to everyone around saying I'm this or that just because there's no one to stop them. I know people say they'd care if I was suddenly gone, and I know a good amount who honestly mean that, but no matter what my dumb little brain is still worrying over those who'd probably call it a relief in their head about it.

This took on a deep deep dive into dark waters. I don't believe I'll come back to read this one, too much at once but I needed to get this out of my head, this has been in there for a while. Definitely a build up over the past years. I think my next plan shall be to finish my energy drink and to clean my room to keep as much of my stuff organized and away from others hands to take care of. Too much happening lately to focus on too many things which I already am. That will be another post. Later though, I'm definitely running on fumes and not just from tonight. That has been happening for months now and I'm ready for something to break, it feels like something will and I just hope theres someone around me who will actually let me rest before continuing with everything again. So much to do but goodbye till later vent page.. I'll be on when I can think again probably.

[fennelockley]

hi! hi!!! okay okay, im so sorry if this is annoying but ur the first person i've come across who seems to have actual knowledge of the moon knight comics and as someone who liked the show and wants to get into the comics but is So bad at figuring out where to start, do you have suggestions on what moon knight runs i should look into first?? no pressure at all!! just looking for some recs :)

Of course! Give me any reason to start yabbering about Moon Knight and I'll take it haha and dont ever apologise, if you have any other questions no matter how many, chuck them my way and I'll do my best! As I said, I get to talk about Moon Knight?? Hell yes!

I will admit though, I've only been reading the comics for about 4 years though so if anyone notices anything else worth mentioning, please do reblog and add on your own commentary!

---

The hard thing about Moon Knight is that each writer address the character differently. Some only focus on Marc/Mr Knight, some do focus on the system, and some dont even focus on character building at all and only focus on the story. And the new comics will be nothing like the old ones (where Moon Knight wasnt even a system, just a bunch of alias' Marc took on to cover his tracks).

From my own personal opinion, I think itll be a good starting point to read the comics that focus on the characters, and obviously the fandom favourite stories....

MOON KNIGHT 2016

Jeff Lemire

Top of the list! If you read this after the show, you'll find that it holds quite a few similarities (and it's where the panels from my last post came from!).

As a whole, it focuses on the system coming to terms with their lives and Marc finally finding peace within it, their relationship with Khonshu and how they realise its toxic, coming to grips with reality and how their diagnosis affects their perception... honestly, I personally believe this will give you a best understanding of the characters and the reality they face! (And bonus, it will obviously show and talk about Jake Lockley, so if you're still new to him, this is a great way to get to know him!)

There is a 4th alter that appears in this story temporarily, but it will make sense in the context of the story.

MOON KNIGHT (2017) issue #188 - 200

Max Bemis

Okay - before the fandom jumps down my throat here, I will start off by saying this run isnt perfect. Far from it actually, and I wouldnt take it too seriously nor would I base my understanding of Moon Knight off of it.

However, I am recommending it because the story is very similar to that of Harrow and Ammits, and it's obvious where the show took inspiration from. So it's worth reading just for that, but as I say, take it with a pinch of salt.

From the Dead: Moon Knight (2014)

Warren Ellis and Declan Shalvey 

Another great run, focuses alot more on an outside plot rather than the system, but the characterization is brilliant.

The rest become abit watery and rely on past stories/older understandings of Moon Knight. But it will also be worth checking this link out:

https://www.comicbookherald.com/moon-knight-reading-order/amp/

As it holds every single Moon Knight run in order, itll give you a better understanding of the placement of stories.

Moon knight does also appear in other character arcs such as the Punisher, Avengers, Defenders. Theres even stories where Moon Knight becomes the host of the Phoenix Force, and an alternate timeline where he merges with Spider-Man to become Arach-knight.

I would be careful with team ups however, as alot of the characters tend to be pretty ableist towards Moon Knight and use him as the butt of "crazy" jokes.

I'd personally go with with the Punisher team ups, because he tends to have a healthy respect for MK and MK will usually throw any snark back at him.

Okay that's alot and I still feel like I havent covered alot, If anything else comes to mind I will add on, and if anyone else has something to add please do!

Good luck with the reading! If you've enjoyed the show I'm certain you will enjoy the comics! Any more questions do feel free to ask :D

[claythefriendlyghost]

We NEED to talk about why this recent episode cemented Stolitz for so many people

While this episode did not have many moments where Blitzø and Stolas were being explicitly romantic towards eachother, the singular reason this episode supports the possibility of Blitzø and Stolas becoming a thing is because...

Blitzø's attitude toward Stolas in this episode is... different...

So many people (myself included) were a tad bit put off from shipping stolitz because there wasn’t really any proof that the relationship was anything more than a mere transaction. The owl wanted to satify his perverted and fetishistic needs, and the imp hesitantly agreed, only because he would receive the book in return. while the former is currently still true, this episode shows that the latter may not be the case.

The bedroom scene

This scene displays the relationship between blitzø and stolas as the tamest its ever been. blitzø doesnt really direct much disgust towards Stolas himself and even says that this monthly meetup isnt something he 'fusses' about. this attitude Blitzø holds when he and stolas are alone contrasts what we've seen in previous episodes where the idea of spending time with stolas seemed to greatly irritate him.

They also seem strangely close in this scene, Blitzø being comfortable with Stolas's advances and them even sharing a cigarette.

Additionally, one of the pieces of evidence that i often see overlooked is that Blitzø did not have to agree to go to the harvest festival with Stolas in the first place. He knew what he'd be getting himself into, with his knowledge of the obvious and embarrasing flirting he dealt with at Loo Loo Land. despite this, not only does he agree to go, he says it sounds like it'll be "a blast and a half". And this time, there isnt even a promise of him being paid!! hes going purely because he wants to

Furthermore, his expression is very different from that which was shown in the original storyboards, showing that there was a reason the crew changed his attitude from "whatever i guess it could be fun 😒" to "sure it sounds like it could be alot of fun 😏"

2. The famed Millie/Striker scenes

These scenes on their own can be interpreted many ways, however, with the context of the opening scene, its quite obvious why Blitzø reacted the way he did in reaction to millie and striker here

Firstly his reaction to Millie calling stolas his boyfriend isn't what it'd be if there was nothing going on between Blitzø and Stolas. If Blitzø were confident in the fact that he had no feelings for Stolas, knowing him, he likely would've made a quip that prevented him from seeming at all insecure or embarrased. he likes to take control of conversations and not leave any room for his weaknesses to be revealed.

This is not what happens. he responds by simply saying he is not above hitting Millie in front of her father. he doesnt deny it. He doesnt make a fun jab at millie herself. he simply allows his embarrassment to be the butt of the joke. THAT DOESNT HAPPEN...like... ever.

Now for the striker scene. I'll l keep it short since many have talked about this before, but the very fact that Blitzø is caught stumbling over his words in an attempt to describe his relationship with stolas is VERY telling. Even in the case where Blitzø did have some feelings towards stolas, I wouldnt put it above him to simply lie and state that there is nothing between them. that wouldve been incredibly easy, and yet... he stumbles.

Even so, he didnt even need to clarify. Striker used the word 'conned' implying he already had the impression that the sex was merely transactional. Blitzø literally couldve ended it at "the short answer is yes" and let striker respond. the fact that Blitzø felt like it was some sort of elephant in the room that needed to be addressed shows how his realtionship with Stolas is on insecure ground and is something he is self conscious about.

Some people have said that this scene is him trying to seem cool in front of striker, but again...he couldve just lied. Lying in order to appear cooler in front of someone he admires wouldve been extremely in character for him, and yet he didnt. its obvious he's experiencing some complicated emotions towards stolas, complicated enough that he couldnt even state the simple lie of 'there is nothing between us'.

3. Blitzø saving Stolas from Striker

Here Blitzø claims that stolas is his easiest ticket to earth, but thats not entirely true. the Grimoire is his easiest ticket to earth. stolas does not need to be alive in order for Blitzø to steal the grimoire and all its power. in fact, that'd be alot easier for the gang as they could keep the book safe in one location as opposed to bringing it back and forth between stolas's place and IMP headquarters and additionally having to go through the trouble of sleeping with him.

Here, Blitzø has the opportunity of taking stolas out of the equation, which would undeniably make things easier for him, and yet, he doesnt take it. theres obviously much more to why he saved Stolas here, and could possibly imply that Blitzø does care about him.

Anyway, those are all the details I caught from this episode. I really do hope Blitzø's feelings in regards to stolas are explored in the following episodes, cause boy am I invested

[mqnasluvr]

skinship headcanons | genshin impact

pairings; jean x gn!reader, amber x gn!reader, albedo x gn!reader

mentioned; kaeya, lisa, huffman, sucrose

warnings; suggestive themes ( jean ), all lowercase, not proofread

word count; 1.7k but half of it is albedo

jean

jean is not the touchiest person out there, but she does enjoy holding you. not too big on pda either; the most you’ll get out of her in public is maybe a quick smooch on the cheek and hand holding🛐 other than that, shes quite reserved.

her hugs are very comforting, but the first couple of times it was awkward on her part. she was used to giving barbara and klee hugs, but this was different. she wasn’t sure where to put her arms, and if anything she got more frustrated the more she hesitated.

once she grows accustomed to it, she’ll be fine. she enjoys the warmth and innocence of hugs, especially if you’re taller than her.

like i said, in public she isnt very touchy. while running errands she does keep you close though, and enjoys holding your hand more and anything.

behind closed doors shes a little bit bolder, but still shy overall. she’s not sure if she’s moving too fast for you so she waits until you initiate any type of physical contact, then takes it from there herself. it took her a long time before she managed to get the courage to kiss you tbh

one time when you two were in her office, amber walked in on you “distracting” jean from her work.

“y/n, i have to get back to work, please,” jean adverted her eyes from your gaze, embarrassed. she kept looking at the door, mentally asking herself if the door was locked or not and getting more nervous as the seconds passed.

you sat straddled on the young womans lap, her hands loosely placed on your hips. holding her face in your hands, you guided her face back to yours. “you work for way too long,” you frowned. “and i’m bored. there’s nothing to do in here.”

“the library is just across the hall—“

“if i read another book my brain will implode.” jean sighed and shook her head.

“please indulge in me just this once? please jean?” she stared at you blankly, her resolve quickly deteriorating. a couple of kisses couldn’t hurt, could it? she looked up at the clock in the corner of the room, then back at you.

sighing for the umpteenth time that day, she nodded. “just for a little while-“

before she could finish speaking, you pressed your lips to hers hurriedly, not wanting to waste any time. jean barely ever separated herself from her work, and refused to accept help from anyone else. you almost never had time alone with the acting grand master— you weren’t going to miss your chance now.

the kiss was not heated whatsoever, just very.. clumsy. and needy. on your part, at least. jean tried her best to slow you down, gripping your hips as her face heated up.

“jean, lisa needs you for somethi- oh,” amber nearly dropped the papers in her hands, immediately covering her eyes with it instead. you whipped your head around and stared at the girl wide-eyed before she spoke up again. “d-did i come at a bad time? i am so sorry, i’ll um. i’ll go now.”

jean couldnt look her in the eyes for WEEKS

it was painful

but overall, she likes physical affection, shes just nervous :,)

amber

amber LOVES touching you!! she’s 100% okay with pda. she isnt as forward as maybe kaeya or lisa, but she’s still rather bold. sometimes she forgets youre in public too, which ends up drawing a lot of attention to the both of you.

when you two go out on dates she is always touching you. hand in hand, arm around waist, whatever. theres always some type of physical contact, no matter what.

it’s so PAINFULLY obvious that you two are dating but for some reason she didn’t think that anyone knew ?? one time huffman saw yall kissing in an alleyway u really aren’t slick🤨

she loves cheek and forehead kisses, but likes receiving them more than giving really. shes a hyper one, and these kisses fluster her enough to make her quiet down. ( it’s so cute )

she often picks you up to hug you, spinning you both around in circles in an almost bone crushing hug. other than those times her hugs are really soft, but the energy is still there. ^^

have i mentioned that she is affectionate?? because she really is. she does respect your boundaries though, but if you feel uncomfortable you’re going to have to speak up on it because she won’t notice.

in private her clinginess is amplified by 10.

“i’m trying to cook, amber,” you mumbled, struggling to stir the paste sauce in the pot. all you were trying to do was make dinner for the two of you, but around 5 minutes ago she came up behind you and wrapped her arms around your arms and torso. you could feel her bury her face further into your back.

“mhm, and it smells really good too,” she hummed. you groaned, and she just giggled.

“i’ll be done in like, 20 minutes, amber. you can hug barron bunny in the meantime,” you tried to pry her arms off of you but she started whining.

“that’s too long.”

“no, it isnt,” you turned around with a spoonful of pasta sauce, motioning for her to open her mouth. she slurped the sauce and gave you a thumbs up.

“see? its good, right? well it wont get much better if you keep clinging to me so much,” she stayed quiet, but at least loosened her arms around you so that it was easier to move. you lightly patted her hand. “thank you.”

“whateverrr,” she drawled, and you couldnt help but laugh.

the pasta was in fact very good

in the end, shes the exact opposite of jean, and youll need to slow her down a lot :,)

albedo

as far as physical contact goes, it’s literally the last thing you will ever find on his mind. he’s too caught up with other things to think about physical affection

he does love you yes, but he doesnt show it through physical means. he does more gift giving, like when he sees a pretty flower that reminds him of you while going out to find starsilver shards.

if you want a hug or anything out of him you’re going to have to initiate it first— it’s foreign territory, and it’s not something he’s particularly interested in, so he doesnt feel the need to indulge in it

however the first time you two cuddle you can tell that he’s hooked. and he does a terrible job at hiding it.

now, he insists that you sit in his lap while he is taking notes because it “helps him focus better” and because “he’s so lonely”

we all know that aint true lmfao

he also really likes it when you play with his hair. please play with his hair, especially when you want him to get away from his studies. physical contact is completely foreign to him so something as simple as a scalp massage will make him melt 🛐

whenever he refuses to get away from his work, sucrose always asks you to step in because he wont listen to her

“y/n,” sucrose quietly approached you as you conversed with kaeya. you turned to her and nodded, albiet a bit concerned. sucrose never really needed you for anything, what did she need now that she couldn’t do herself?

kaeya took this as his sign to leave, but not before giving you a quick pat on the head. “yes, sucrose?” you said. “did something happen?”

she nodded meekly, watching kaeya walk off. a little bubble of guilt formed in her stomach from interrupting. “ah, i need your help with something. you see, mr albedo has been doing research non-stop on a new thing that has caught his eye since yesterday afternoon. i’ve tried to get him to put his research on pause, but,” she adjusted her glasses. “he doesn’t listen to me. i was hoping if you could maybe convince him to take care of himself?”

you pinched the bridge of your nose and sighed. he was doing it again. but you couldnt really blame him, he was terrible at keeping his hyperfixations under control. “i’ll take care of him, sucrose. don’t worry.”

she visibly relaxed at your words. sucrose flashed you a smile of gratitude, then waved and walked off to finish her errands in mondstadt.

—

it didn’t take him very long to notice your presence behind him. you were practically glaring at him, but there was no true anger behind it. wordlessly, albedo turned around in his chair and looked up at you.

you crossed your arms. “albedo,” you started, and it took everything in him not to sigh at the inevitable lecture.

“sucrose sent you, did she not?” he propped his arm up on the armrest of his chair, leaning his face into his hand as he gazed at you nonchalantly.

“of course she did. why aren’t you taking breaks?” he turned his chair back around, but you sat on the desk he was working at. you placed your hand on top of his papers and he shot a glare at you. it didnt phase you in the slightest.

“i have work to do. it’s much easier to do it all at once than stop inbetween.”

“have you at least been taking care of your basic needs? when was the last time you ate, or drank water?”

your eyes softened when he looked away.

hopping off of the desk, you grabbed his hand and pulled him away from his work ( gently, of course ). he barely protested.

you started muttering about how he needs to take better care of himself while pouring him a cup of water and making him a simple sandwich. he was a bit disappointed in himself for making you worry, and ate the food you gave him guiltily.

you pinched his cheek as he ate, giving it a light tug. he slapped your hand away playfully and a bit of the guilt he felt lifted when he heard your laugh. “i’m sorry you have to go through this for me.”

you shook your head. “you just need to learn how to stop yourself. you’re smart albedo, i’m sure you’ll figure it out in no time.”

he finished eating his food and, uncharacteristically, pulled you in for a hug. albedo rested his forehead against your shoulder, relaxing even further when you weaved your fingers through his hair.

“...i’m sorry, y/n.”

“stop apologizing.”

“okay. sorry. oh-”

you laughed.

[lightsaberupmybutt]

These Violent Delights  - Darth Vader x FemReader

Yer idk why I wrote this either. I’m not ashamed though. And if you read this you’re just as bad as I am for writing it. No more said . Enjoy

Word Count: 1377

Warnings : explicit, brief mentions of smut but nothing too heavy, bit angsty, mentions of violence (but if you’re here then I’m sure that doesn’t put you off), kinda out of character (I've tried, but darth isn't a shagger, not canon anyway) 

There was not a day that went by when you didn't consider yourself the stupidest bitch on the planet;  scratch that the universe 

You were aware that what you were doing was so dumb that even you couldn't reason it logically. 

Its not like you didn't have options, theres plenty of suitors out there who would be more than happy to take you up on the offer of a night with you.

With this knowledge in mind, you still always fine yourself in the company of possibly the most dangerous man (if you can even call him that) to ever exist.

You wish you'd had the excuse of knowing him before he was vader, wish that you could say your attachment was purely based on your remnant memories from days gone by; but that just wasn't true. You only knew this being, Vader as him dark self - and that was enough for you to always come when he called.

To compare you attachment to a drug addiction felt cliche and incommodious; after all you didn't need his attention to survive, but you still craved it for your own enjoyment

it kept you up at night sometimes - you conscience weary with the fact that the rest of the body it was trapped in responded so positively to the touch of a murderer. These internal battles were common, besides, there wasn't anyone else you could exactly go to to ask advice from. The knowledge of your nightly escapades to Vader quarters was not exactly friendly gossip you could share with your friends, or even your family. It was a clear unspoken rule that secrets of this magnitude that involved the ex jedi were not something he encouraged to be passed around - not that you really wanted your family knowing. They would disown you, you would disown you. You understood just how vile your actions were     

so why did they feel so fucking good?

You had been with men before, plenty of men. Maker, some of those men had the bodies of gods, so handsome that anyone would look upon them and believe they were too good for this world. But nothing compared, nothing even came close. It was one thing to enjoy someone, romantically or exclusively sexually , but it was another to be on the same level as someone. And you weren't quite sure why or how, but the only person you had ever felt that for was the destroyer of worlds.

You'd caught his eye while he and a small fleet of his stormtroopers were overseeing the work your village was putting into one of the many imperial excursions.

You'd love to say you hadn't been like everyone else and feared him instantly, that your backbone and feisty nature had meant you had always been able to feel no intimidation by his power - but that would be a big fat lie. The first time you saw him you genuinely thought you might poop your pants right there and then; all black cloak and metal. and then when you notice that he had noticed you too, when he asked your name, you personally accepted that maybe this day would be the day you died.

but it wasn't, and so it began

At first the imbalance of power was obvious, you feared him more than you had ever feared anything before. You'd heard the stories, you knew just how fast he could destroy you and how nobody would intervene even if they could if he decided this way your time to go. 

He kept his distance in this time, while somehow also always letting  you know he was around. you hear him, his breathing somewhere just beyond your viewpoint. A flash of black out the corner of your eye while you walked through the streets. Just teases of his existence. Just enough to peak your interest. 

It worked, he never had to come to you. You came to him.

Because above all else, your curiosity outweighed everything else, even you survival instincts.

It was easy to be drawn in, you found. In everyones brain theres a soft spot for bad people who only act kind to you. That only show vulnerability to just you. You wanted to feel special, and he made you feel like the most protected person in the universe. 

It was ironic really, that being that close to death is what made you feel most alive

It wasn't romantic, and you were completely comfortable with that. You had no doubt that you could never bring yourself to love someone who had the capability to do the things this man had done, and Vader, as far as you knew anyway, wasn't programmed with the capacity to love - a relic skill left when Anakin burned into the sand.

Sometimes though, there were flickers of those sorts of affections, like muscle memory. A gloved stroke of your cheek, a sweep across your lips to catch some of himself there, a hand in your hair with more gentle intent than usual. These incidents were at first incredibly fleeting, but the more comfortable you got together, or at least the more time passed since you had first met, he seemed to get more carefree with these displays. 

Equally, although you had fully expected to feel the wrath of his power at that very first meeting; Vader had never used the force against you. Well, never without you asking him to anyway - choking with the force may be Vader favourite way to bring his enemies to their demise, but when you asked him to use it on you in the bedroom, he was relatively sure you had completely lost your mind. Be that as it may, it was hot as fuck. However he never took advantage; the power imbalance was certainly there, but Vader never used it against you without you asking him. 

And thats how you knew just how comfortable you'd gotten; because you did ask. without even really completely letting yourself realise just what i meant, you asked him to show you just how powerful he was. You fucking liked it, liked that he could remove you from the face of the earth with a flick of his gloved wrist. You liked that he was the strongest being most people could imagine, liked that he was so notoriously  bad. 

Simply because he didn't; he kept you around. He even liked having you around, not that he would ever admit that to you, himself or anybody.

He never took his mask off, so it was easy for him to hide behind his outfit. He was changing though, maybe not dramatically, but enough for him to notice and be ashamed of. 

He hadn't loved since Padme, with her it was obvious. She was beautiful, and smart, and everything Anakin Skywalker could have ever wanted. But he was no longer Anakin. There had never been another love, but you were something different entirely. You made him different . you made him weak. He lusted for you, craved you just as much if not more than you him. Anakin had always had a possessive streak, but Vader had a possessive nature. You were nothing to him, and then you were just fun to him, a body he could use, a rare someone who would let him inside of them with true interest in him, someone who could look past the suit and mask and burns. You belonged to him now, whether either of you wanted it or not, there was no one else for you. 

“don't you ever let anyone touch you like this again” - he rarely spoke during sex, but when he did, his moderator was always stating claim to you. There really was no way to convince vader that you wouldn't stray, that you wouldn't suddenly wake up and realise that getting railed once very month on a dark space ship by someone who's face you had never seen wasn't enough for you. That you'd want to be with someone who you could kiss, or someone who didn't have such a dark smear on their title. But it didn't really matter, you knew you wouldn't leave, not when being bad felt so good with him. 

[forsakenoathkeeper]

I Am Alive (chapter 5/?)

Deviant!Connor[RK800] x (fem!)Reader Rated M(18+) for canon-typical violence and gore, medical procedures, and graphic sexual content

Synopsis: You were a mechanical engineer, now a nurse for androids, who moved back to Detroit after the revolution to offer aid. After reconciling with an old friend, you became rather acquainted with his android partner.

Please support me on AO3 & thanks for reading ♥

Connor wasn't oblivious to what he was doing.

'Rogue' was one word that came to mind; but, that was a bit extreme all things considered. He wasn't acting against the police and he didn't intend to commit any crimes, especially heinous ones.

He was hunting the android alone, without clearance, without jurisdiction.

-not like this was the first time.

He had intel that the human detectives didn't have. A good lot of them didn't respect him, some more obvious than others, and often disregarded his input on things. Of course, they were never hesitant to let him take the lead when dealing with dangerous individuals or gunfire.

Most of the time, it didn’t bother him.

Fowler saw him as a competent detective and needed the manpower, now more than ever. Hank trusted him with his life and stood up for him. That was all the recognition that Connor needed.

Having to work alone wasn’t all that terrible. He was faster, stronger, more capable of discretion... usually. He didn't have to worry about putting someone in danger or being slowed down. It also meant that he could-

-bend the rules in ways that only androids were capable of.

The other detectives were hung up on the possibility that Evelin Wheeler was murdered by someone she had crossed in her days as a lawyer. Connor had found seven cases that ended with death threats. Three of those cases, the plaintiffs or victims, were still alive and living in or near Detroit.

While other detectives were investigating those potential leads, Connor took to the streets to see if he could locate Robert. Maybe it was his programming talking; but, Connor was suspicious of the android.

Clouds were heavy and dark in the sky, the smell of approaching rain thick in the air. Connor was waiting outside of Haven in a nearby alleyway, perched up against a crate where he could duck back into hiding or lean out and see into the street.

He was standing near an abandoned warehouse that seemed to have suffered structural damage at one point, rubble having collapsed into the plot nearby. The towering structure was an eyesore and provided good cover for the detective. It was also across the street from Haven.

Connor fumbled with his coat pocket, fishing out a coin. He rolled it between his fingers as he waited.

You had been texting him, a very welcomed distraction from the monotony. Though, if Connor was being honest, waiting never bothered him. He couldn’t quite tell if it was because his android, a part of his programming, or just the way he was.

"u know u dont have to" was your latest message, popping up in the top right corner of his HUD. You had trouble getting your car started this morning and had taken a taxi to work. When Connor found out, he asked if he could give you a ride home.

"If I'm being honest, it is not just for your sake. I want to see you" he texted back.

It had been a little over week since he last saw you. Work had been hectic for you both, between countless damaged androids and Connor knee deep in multiple cases, one in particular that was rubbing him the wrong way. Even if he only got to sit in a car with you for thirty minutes, that would be good enough.

"i miss u too" your reply came in. Connor smiled at that and briefly pondered how to reply.

When people were 'an item', what did they do? Attending a restaurant together seemed to be the most common answer that came up in his searches; however, considering Connor did not require sustenance, and lacked the components to dispose of them, he couldn't eat.

Surprisingly, ‘drinking’ came up a lot, too. There was no way he was taking you to a sleazy bar. There were always clubs. Did you like that sort of thing? He didn’t want to make assumptions about your lifestyle. There was the added concern that Connor didn’t know if he could dance. He had never tried it before.

'Walks in the park' also came up in his searches; while Connor was not easily perturbed by the weather, you likely would find it far too cold outside. The local movie theatres were closed down temporarily due to the uprising, leaving that option out, as well.

He could invite you over to his apartment; but, what if you took that as an unwanted suggestion? He missed you in that manner, maybe more than he cared to admit; but, he didn't want to give the impression that it was all he cared about.

Connor's LED was blaring yellow as he internally argued with himself. He aggressively shifted his coin from one hand to the other and flung it high into the air with a flick of his thumb.

Humans did this - 'heads or tails' - so he tried it.

When it fell back down, he snatched it from the air, opened his palm and glanced down. The coin had landed on tails. Connor glared at the harmless nickel disk for not giving him the results he wanted.

Okay. Maybe he was thinking too hard.

-maybe he just needed to go for it.

"I want to treat you to something. If you would like that?" Connor messaged you.

Likely caught up in something, you didn’t reply immediately. So, Connor began rotating his coin again, rolling it between his fingers, flicking it back and forth between his palms. He had no idea where this quirk came from: if it was programmed into him or some bizarre string of code that manifested itself. He could do it without much processing power, making it rather relaxing.

"if you wanna? u dont have to do anything like that" your message popped up on his HUD some time later.

"Is it weird that I want to?" Connor messaged you back.

"not at all" you replied. He read it in your soft voice and found himself feeling bashful. He felt weird, like he wanted to do things for you - unnecessary things that you were perfectly capable of doing yourself.

"theres a park i loved as a kid. we can go when it warms up?" you offered.

"I would like that" Connor replied.

A thought came to him, something that he chided himself for: he had hoped for something he could do for you, now, not later.

But, then-

"until then i like ur apartment" immediately came in afterward.

Connor gawked at the message like an idiot for a moment or two before he snapped out of it. Maybe you had read his mind... somehow.

He had no need for a TV because he could get all the news on the interface in his processing unit. He didn't have a need for many dishes for obvious reasons and only bothered to keep the fridge plugged in in case Hank brought something over. His apartment was severely under furnished by human standards.

Suddenly, he wanted to change that.

"You are welcome anytime" he replied. "I'll make sure its warmer this time"

Your reply came fairly quickly; but, Connor didn't see it.

Movement caught his eye.

An android was approaching Haven, not that that was anything new. However, he dressed in a dirty hoodie and torn up pants, ankle-high work boots matching what Connor had seen in Evelin Wheeler's home, the correct height and stature for the model type seen in Louis’ memories.

Connor slid the coin back into his coat pocket and focused his optical sensors on the android. He couldn't get a good enough look from this angle to see into the propped up hood.

The detective waited outside while the other android crossed the threshold into Haven.

Markus wanted to do things the right way. Connor respected that.

It meant that he would inform Robert the police were looking for him and try to encourage him to speak with them. If he was innocent, that meant he had nothing to hide. But Connor knew that Robert would likely attempt to flee, even if he was innocent.

The android was inside the building for eleven minutes and some odd seconds before he stormed out the front and trotted down the street. Connor didn't waste any time taking up pursuit. The android had some haste to his steps, but wasn't running. Still, Connor knew he would lose him if he dawdled for a second.

Rain began to fall, beginning in gentle sprinkles that coated the concrete and asphalt in faint specs. Connor could feel the rain like gentle taps against his outer skin. It was useful: the noise made it harder to properly hear the sounds of their footsteps. That potentially risked the chance that Connor would lose Robert; but, it also meant he was less likely to be detected.

He needed an empty, quiet place where he could interrogate him. But, Connor also was well aware of the fact that he didn't have backup. If the android proved to be more dangerous than he anticipated, he would be alone and at great risk.

-again, this was nothing new.

Connor recognized the route Robert was taking. He was heading for the industrial district's harbor.

It wasn't abandoned. Factory work had resumed, albeit with struggles considering the android workforce had been lost. However, people were trying to return to normal life. They needed to; and so, the ports reopened and shipments starting to flow again.

The detective continued to stalk behind the android for miles, paying no mind to the fact that he was steadily growing farther and farther away from where he had parked his car, nor the fact that he was getting soaked by the rain.

When they arrived at the harbor, Robert took a path through a rundown building that was likely once a communication hub for a business that went under decades ago. It was longer than a direct route, but provided cover, less any of the human workers at the nearby plants spotted him.

In following, Connor realized that abandoned shipping containers were piled up outside. The rust and erosion patterns suggested they had been here a long time.

At the end of the row of containers, another building, a steel hub right at the edge of the water. Normally, these were open, designed to be for receiving and sending shipments, unloading. However, someone had taken the time to board it up.

Robert entered through a hastily cut out hole acting as a doorway.

Connor knew this was the end of the line. He was going to have to face Robert here.

He took one, careful step past the threshold, and realized there was an echo. That alone made it near impossible to continue sneakily. When Connor stepped forward, he felt something scan him. It was harmless, a perimeter censor: the kind of motion detector that could pick up android's serial numbers with a quick scan, and send alerts to the programmed android. It was, essentially, an intruder alert.

The detective turned his head to the adjacent wall. Sure enough, there it was, the size of a quarter, at head level, eyeing him.

He was intrigued that Robert had taken the time to setup defenses here. It wasn't particularly deterring, just a simple alarm that would prevent him from being snuck up on. Connor could hear Robert's shoes loudly squeak on the floor. He was pacing, probably deciding his next move.

Connor continued, turning down the hall and stepping into the main hull.

When Robert spotted him, he took a few steps back, maintaining distance between them. Connor took up a firm stance, feet shoulder length apart, arms crossed in front of him, hands cupped, like a soldier might stand.

"Why are you following me?" Robert called out, sounding more annoyed than anything else. The echo in the room was loud, creating an obnoxious tremor around them.

"I wanted to talk to you - ask you a few things," Connor replied calmly.

Robert was silent for a moment, eyeing Connor suspiciously. "You're the detective android," he said lowly.  "I heard stories...” Robert looked him up and down. “You're not as intimidating as I expected."

If that was intended to insult Connor, all it managed to do was make him curious. What kind of images had Robert conjured in his mind of the android detective?

"Why haven't you removed your indicator?" Robert asked in a manner that was almost taunting. "You think we're equal to humans, don't you? Why wear something that sets us apart?"

"It doesn't matter to me if people know I am an android," Connor answered, maintaining his passive tone. It wasn't entirely the truth. Sometimes, he wanted people to know he was an android. He was once frightened by the idea of deviancy; now, it felt like a badge of honor. Maybe, he was prideful: he was the first detective android to join the force, and the last and only of his model.

"You work for the humans - against us," Robert accused. “What makes you think you have any right to stand with us?”

"I don't work against androids. I work against murderers," Connor proclaimed. He could see panic flash behind Robert's eyes. But, the android was quick to compose himself. "-human or android," Connor added on.

Robert opened his mouth; but, Connor, growing tired of this pointless banter, decided to be direct.

"I'm here because I believe you killed Evelin Wheeler."

"Who?" Robert asked, his head tilting to the side. From his lack of concern, Connor couldn't quite identify if he was being sincere, or just didn't care.

"An elderly woman who was being cared for by an android," Connor elaborated robotically.

Robert shrugged. "What makes you think I did that?"

"I saw you harassing the android living with her," Connor answered, tone lowering.

Robert settled a firm glare on Connor. "Harassing? I wanted to help him be free."

Connor kept his stoic expression, eyes unyielding of his emotions, LED strong blue. "I'm glad you remember them," he replied lowly.

The detective could see some stress rise in Robert. He wasn't frightened by Connor. He was growing steadily more and more angered by him.

"Then, surely you-"

"He was delusional," Robert interrupted sharply, clearly insulted. "Called her 'family'. I had to help him. He was being controlled by that human. I set him free."

"He was free,” Connor corrected him. “You hate humans. That's what it is. It has nothing to do with justice.” He maintained his persona: a cold, calculating detective.

The other android didn't seem to like that word. "You still elevate them above us, you hypocrite!" Robert snarled. "Don't talk to me about justice."

"Human or android, you killed an innocent woman in cold blood," the detective said lowly, letting his stare darken slightly.

"Where's your proof?" Robert challenged.

"Your shoes match the impressions at the crime scene," Connor stated bluntly. "You also were seen harassing the family-" Robert twitched at the word. "-a week before the murder. That's enough circumstantial evidence to obtain a warrant for your memories for that night."

"Where's your w-warrant, huh?" Robert challenged, his voice faltering slightly. "Why am I not under arrest, yet? You have nothing!" Robert shouted, his voice echoing around the chamber.

Connor narrowed his eyes slightly. "742-11-904, you are under arrest for trespassing on private property-"

Robert suddenly shifted and charged at Connor. Being a unit designed for industry work, he was bigger than Connor, bulkier with a wider frame and greater weight capacity; but, Connor was agile, flexible, and designed for combat. He avoided his assault with ease, but wasn't able to counter. His back hit the wall and Robert continued down the hallway past him.

Connor took up pursuit, finding that Robert took a different path out. He chased him into the harbor, out in the open, where security lights shined down on them. Workers from a nearby plant were perched on a balcony on the second floor. Connor could hear their surprised murmurs, "what the hell - you see that shit?"

Chain link covered the edge of the dock to act as a barrier to prevent falls. Connor contemplated pulling his gun on Robert; however, trespassing wasn't an offense worthy of firing, and he had yet to obtain the warrant he needed for the murder case. Pulling his gun would have been a one-way ticket to suspension, or likely worse.

Robert wasn't made for this. Connor was going to catch up to him. The android likely knew this. He had to take a path that Connor wouldn’t follow. He climbed the chain link, reaching the top before Connor got to him, and dived over the edge, straight into the harbor. The splash was drowned out by the rain tapping on the metal roofs nearby.

Connor looked over the edge to where the dark waters lapped at the concrete platform. Naturally, he couldn’t see anything through the murky water. He sighed, placing one hand on the chain link to lean against it.

"Well, so much for that," he groaned to himself.

It was unlikely that Robert could stay submerged for long, even less likely that he would surface here. He wasn’t going to return to this hiding place, nor Haven. Connor would have to find him through other means.

The rain started to pick up, sprinkling morphing to heavy droplets. Connor's eyes adjusted to lighting, or lack of, naturally. He was too focused on finding Robert that he failed to realize the sun had set. The time was normally hidden on his HUD as it was intrusive, distracting. He didn't need sleep. He didn't need rest. He could theoretically go days without a break.

When he brought the time temporarily back into view briefly, he realized it was 7:17. Your shift ended at 7 tonight, and he had promised he would be there.

"Shit!" he cursed out loud, swiveling away from the fence.

As he trotted away, shoes making wet sopping noises on the concrete, Connor started a message, "I'm sorry. I'm going to be a little late".

Before he sent it, he realized that he had missed your previous message.

"hold u to eet" you had replied. It was in response to his promise that the apartment would be warmer next time. But, it also struck him as a painful reminder that you had placed trust in his ability to get you home safely, and in a timely manner.

The rain continued to pick up until it was pouring down, like tiny rocks pummeling his body. It didn't hurt, but it was exhausting. He had fucked up, twice. He failed to capture Robert and now he was delaying you.

Instead of sending that message, he decided to call.

It rang once, then twice-

"Oh - shit - are you here already?" you blurted into the phone as soon as you answered.

"N-no, I-" he stammered. "I'm going to be late. I'm sorry."

"Actually - that's fine. I got so caught up in this thirium shipment, I didn't realize what time it was," you explained, sounding out of breath. "I was afraid I was keeping you."

"I wouldn't have minded waiting," Connor replied, feeling some relief at your words.

"No - don't say that," you scolded gently. "Don't take bullshit from anyone, Connor."

"Ugh-" he stammered. Did he take bullshit from people? Maybe he did and he just didn't care most of the time. Was waiting for you bullshit, anyway? He didn’t need to sleep, afterall.

"Working late, too, huh?" you breathed into the phone.

"Field work," Connor replied lowly.

You chuckled into the phone. "You know I can take a taxi if you're-"

"No, I-" he interrupted sharply. "I want to see you. Please."

"Connor," you breathed into the phone.

His phone wasn't a handheld device. It was an interface build into his processor. He could hear you directly in his head. Even through the slight distortion created by radio signals, the sound of your voice still managed to do something to him. Maybe he underestimated how badly he missed you.

In the background, Connor could hear one of your coworkers, "ooooo - who's Connor?" teasing at you in a purposely obnoxious voice.

You laughed quietly. "My boyfriend," you answered.

My boyfriend-

For some reason, something as mundane as you telling people that, made him really happy.

There was some shuffling noises, likely you moving around and trying to balance something in one hand and your phone in the other.

"Is he cute?" a different voice asked this time.

Connor was prepared to eavesdrop on this conversation in full; but, after some loud shuffling, you came back, speaking into the phone properly. "I'm gonna let you go, now - get this finished up - oh shit it's raining - let me know when you're in the parking lot?"

"Understood," he replied automatically, a habit. Plus, if he was being honest, he was disappointed.

"-and don't stress about it, Connor-" you added on hastily.

Fuck that-

-as soon as you hung up, Connor was running to his parked car.

[frazie-aquato]

i know hes The Antagonist, and an asshole genuinely and the least "has a sad reason" villain in the series, but i do think gristol malik sometimes is hated for like........Sussy baka reasons...im refuse to elaborate but i find his level really fun and i think he is ibteresting but aside from the normal, 'if you talk about a villain character you are defending them!!!!!!!!!!! you are evil' that i had been fed as a younger thing, and also that he is Generally Hated by community for good reason, and finally add to that is i dont even want to talk about the aforementioned Sussy Baka reasons because its closely intertwined with very common irl issue that makes me upset. like i sorta said earlier theres other antagonists that are more sympathetically portrayed ib the series, i think its really important to take in account the series origins world of morals. like it or not gristol still kinda.....didnt do what he planned. or at least, it was jist a bunch of 'once i do this' rather than 'did this', the most successful thing was yoinky sploinky truman, and getting insider info. oleander, loboto, ford, lucrecia, in comparison to 'once i do this' ACTUALLY 'did this'.... and are forgiven in universe, and by fans, including me. i feel like i need to put giant biohazard neon lights up that says I LIKE AND ENJOY THOSE OTHER GUYS TOO A WHOLE LOT whenever i discuss this because i feel like if i said it without someone wouls somehow think im a hater... anyways the most important thing about gristols lack of redemption from the narrative is that he does not want to improve himself as the time stands. he doesnt want to change, hes shortsighted. and the thing is like....come on. based on all those other characters, he vould totally change even if hes house arrest to mail room and the agents would go with him for ice cream next monday if they wanted. some could argue him being loved around the motherlobe was an act itself, like him pretending to be nice. i think thats totally possible, but i think its another case of not wanting to change or see whats in front of him. like, my good bitch you can buy a cotton candy naker for yourself right now if you wanted. ans people like you. bitch. but was raised as a royal cunt probably surrounded by adults who didnt wanna get their shit scrambled and was used to being 'the leader'. and in growing up i cant imagine they would go outside much if at all, hes called lost heir for a reason, why would he be lost if people knew hin, so he was probably never around normal people. i also dont think it was an 'act of pretending' persay because truman does call him the most brownosing asskisser, which no one likes. no ones likes that. now that around truman was totally an act to me, after all if you are infultrating the psychowhatsits you wanna be sooooo nice and totally trusting to their head honcho... but, basically in the way i see it, gristol, his issue is that he is refusing redemption from the world he loves in's morality. thats why he is 'not sympathetic' he has no regrets you can play it yourself its true. i dont think it would be impossible to change in the slightest...blinking my neon hazard lights again as i am thinking of the obvious lucy moment. however i think it would take a very, very long time. and like, a million therapy. the thing about all this discussion is there is ways to play with it in a way thats like...actually ibteresting. which is why its bad i feel shameful bringing up this discussion about gristol because of the instant 'i hate hims' and no further discussion, and the pn world morals. like, i think it is fucked up that hollis or sasha would do experiments on gristol just because he is there and not learning. even if it was a joke or not serious i think the ideas kinda like ? o_O. another worldbuilding idea, how of the surving grulovians feel about lucy? how would they feel knowing lucy was found, and is safe, and is protected by the agency?

jesus fucking christ this waa going to be a 2 sentence vague post, and it turned into a no-breaks in paragraph slop.....im so sorry besties................. also the big flashing sign disclaimer is still constantly on my mind :( dont be mean to me or ill cry and kill everyone

[cavehags]

i realize this will probably bring up old drama so you might not want to answer it. but do you ever regret, however on purpose or on accident, bringing all that unnecesary hate towards Katara? i'm really sad and dissapointed tbh. i'm a woman of color and katara was so important to me growing up. my favorite animated woman ever. and then this resurgence comes and theres so, so much unnecesary hatred for her and everyone ignoring everything that makes her a good character.

(2/3) 2- and you know, i expected this from the male side of the fandom. they were misogynistic to her and the others even back then so i would expect it to be even worse with how internet culture is more mysogistic now that ever. and i wasnt wrong. male atla fans had some truly horrible takes and views that just came across as racism and misogyny. but, i expected these circles to be better. to be a safe space for us woc who love this character. but i found the same weird hatred for her.

(3/3) 3-i just, i cant believe i feel less welcome now that i did even back then. and back then i didnt even paricipate really. but at least i could enjoy fandom content without stumbling into misogyny and racism every other post. also sorry for sending this to your personal blog b i just wanted to let you know you controbuted to that too even if it wasnt your intention. at least you realized that and arent contributing to it anymore right? cause honestly the hate has only gotten worse not less.

hey anon. thanks for asking this question, because i hadn’t addressed this topic previously and this gave me an opportunity to do so. 

no, i don’t regret publicly interpreting a character whom i love through a nuanced and human lens. and i don’t regret combating the one-dimensional interpretation of this character, which posits that she’s merely an vaguely defined object of attraction for some boy or another, and a singularly gentle, mature, maternal figure whose sole purpose in life is to nurture others. those interpretations suck. they rob her of the humanity and complexity that make her character unique and they stem from misogynistic tropes that reduce women to the services they can provide to men. the thing in the world that matters most to me is fighting misogyny, and this trend to diminish a proud and powerful and angry teenage girl by exaggerating only her most socially acceptable traits is misogyny. 

unlike you, i did not grow up watching avatar: the last airbender. the shows i watched growing up did not have a lot of girls who felt real to me. the girls i saw on tv growing up were simple. they were the main characters’ crushes. they were simple, desirable, usually sweet and loving, and not much else. if they had a flaw, it was that they were, at best, “awkward.” whatever that means. or if they were the protagonists, which was rare, they were nice enough and tried to do the right thing, but they never had strong feelings like resentment and anger. they weren’t allowed to be unfeminine which meant they weren’t allowed to be bitter, angry or in any way flawed. they didn’t look like the version of girlhood i knew to be true for me personally, which included a lot of anger and frustration and powerlessness. 

that crappy representation left me with internalized misogyny that chased me for longer than i’d like to admit. i did not learn to think of girls as humans who could be as interesting and flawed and messy as the boys were. i did not value myself as a girl, and later a woman, because i thought the best thing a girl could be was... bland. boring. pretty, but empty. passionless.

it would have meant the world to me to see a character like katara. 

because katara is angry. she has every right to be: she’s had so much stolen from her, including her mother, her people, and her childhood. katara has a short fuse. she yells. she snaps. she fucks up. sometimes she makes mean jokes! i never saw a single one of those dreamily perfect cartoon love interests make mean jokes when i was a kid. she is extremely idealistic--it’s her defining character trait--but we see the bad side of that as well as the good. we see that her need to help others  leads her to act rashly, to get herself into danger, to put others in danger too. 

and she has her very own arc. it’s not about her love for another person, either (what a snooze of a storyline); it’s about growing up and learning to break down some of that stubborn black-and-white thinking that we all indulge in as children. it’s a true coming-of-age arc and it belongs to a fourteen-year-old girl. 

when i, to use a phrase i find crass, “entered the fandom,” i quickly realized that other fans’ perceptions of katara did not line up with the things i valued most about her. other fans seemed to valorize her most socially acceptable feminine qualities: her generosity, her kindness, her dedication to helping others. and of course i love those parts of her--i love everything about her--but what is really remarkable about avatar: the last airbender is that katara’s many important virtues are also counterbalanced by equally significant flaws. a good character has flaws. katara is a good character, and a deviation from the characters who made up my formative media landscape, because she has flaws. her temper, her idealism, her stubbornness--these are flaws. flaws make her seem real and human and challenge the mainstream sentiment that girls are not real or human.

it simply did not occur to me that celebrating these aspects of katara that make her a realistic and well-written teenage girl would spark ire from other adult fans. it absolutely did not occur to me that i would then be blamed for somehow causing misogynistic interpretations of this character, particularly given that misogynistic interpretations of this character are the very thing i sought to correct when i began to blog about this television show.

i’m told there are “fans” on instagram and tiktok who think katara is whiny, annoying, and overly preoccupied with her trauma. i do not use instagram or tiktok, so i wouldn’t know, but i’ll take your word for it. respectfully, however, they didn’t get that from me. misogynistic takes on katara have existed since before i came along. i have never, ever called katara whiny. and seeing as i have been treating my own PTSD in therapy for nine years, you can safely conclude that i don’t think anyone, katara included, is overly preoccupied with their trauma. that’s not a thing. do i think she’s annoying? of course not! as a character, she’s a delight. does she sometimes find real joy in aggravating her brother and her friends? yes, because she’s 14. i, an adult, am not annoyed by her. sokka and toph often are, because that is katara’s goal and katara always succeeds in her goals. she’s not “annoying.” 

if there are “fans” who are indeed following lesbians4sokka and somehow misreading every single post and interpreting them to mean that we hate katara and they should too, i don’t really know what you want me to do about that. l4s has over ten thousand followers and we have already posted so many essays disavowing katara hate. our feminist and antiracist objectives in running the blog are literally pinned with the headline “please read.”

furthermore, you cannot reasonably expect my co-blogger and me to control the way our words will be received. we should not have to, and are not going to, add a disclaimer to every post saying that when we critique or make jokes about a teenage girl we are doing so through a feminist lens. our url is lesbians4sokka, and we are clearly women. if that alone doesn’t make it obvious, then refer back to that pinned post. 

it is indescribably frustrating, and really goddamn depressing as well, that people are so comfortable with the misogynistic binary of Perfect Good Women and Flawed Wicked Bitches that they perceive any discussion of a woman’s flaws to be necessarily relegating her to the latter camp. if that is how you (a generic you) perceive women, then i’m sorry, but you’ve internalized sexism that i cannot cure you of. and it’s unjust to expect my friend and me to write for the lowest common denominator of readers who have not yet had their own feminist awakenings. we do not write picture books for babies. we write for ourselves, and with the expectation that our readers can think critically. reading media through a feminist lens is my primary interest; i have no intention of excising that angle from my writing.

as i go through my life, i am going to embrace the flaws of girls and women because not enough people do. as long as the dominant narratives surrounding women are “good and perfect” and “unlovable wh*re,” you’ll find me highlighting flawed, realistic, righteously angry women in the margins. and for what it’s worth, it’s not just katara. i champion depictions of angry girls in all sorts of media. that’s sort of my whole thing. my favorite movies are part of the angry girl cinematic universe: thoroughbreds, jennifer’s body, hard candy, jojo rabbit, et cetera. on tv, in addition to katara, you’ll find me celebrating tuca and bertie, poppy from mythic quest, tulip and lake from infinity train, korra, and more. i adore all these women and see myself in them. i hope you find this suitably persuasive to establish that i have sufficient Feminist Cred, according to your standards, to observe and write about these very flawed and human fictional women. 

what i’m saying is this: i decline to take responsibility for the misogynistic discourse orbiting a children’s cartoon. as someone who writes about that series from a perspective that seeks to add humanity and nuance to the reductive, one-dimensional, overwhelmingly sexist writing that already exists, i am pretty taken aback that i am the one being blamed for the very problem i sought to address. except not that taken aback because i am a woman online, haha! and this is always how it goes for us. 

finally, i think it sucks that you’ve chosen to blame me for a problem that begins and ends with the patriarchy. i can’t control the way this response will be perceived, just like how i can’t control the way anything will be perceived because i am just one human woman, but i do hope you choose to be reflective, and consider why you’ve chosen this avenue to assign blame. 

[letthefrogsbe]

remember when I was gonna write that parkner fic?

cool so I've decided I'm gonna, but because I cannot write for SHIT and I hate my writing every time I see it, ill just share my outline of what I have so far. its not coherent. sorry. 

Section one: aunt may dies. It’ll be like “it's been 3 months. 3 months since May was shot. 2 months and 3 weeks since she died.”

Something like that idc. Basically this section will base around peter living tony, because he’s not doing well, and he is only 17- which is not actually old enough to be on your own after something like this. Setting is established, with cameos from dr strange (who tony is dating and lives with (yeah bite me, this is my fanfiction i can make it what i want.) it will be made obvious that this takes place after endgame, which also means that tony is Not going to die. I’m not that mean lmao. The avengers are like largely together, there was not as much death in this as there was in endgame. Whatever. Everyone is very nice to peter because they know that for him its either this or him becoming a ward of the state so like.

Section two: harley gets kicked out. His mom finds out that he’s gay (from gossip sources idk) and kicks harley out. Im not going to write them having a big fight like in the moment, but harley will recount what happened somewhat to tony in this section, and then more to peter later in the story. Gay ppl trauma dump, we know this. Okay anywaysss so harley calls tony literally sobbing and like freezing fucking cold. IM SORRY IM BEING SO MEAN TO THEM I PROMISE THEY'LL GET A HAPPY ENDING. Okay. harley explains how his mom kicked him out. Tony asks why, harley says something like “she didn’t agree with my lifestyle choices” like bitterly. Tony is a good person in this (i know, im really taking some character liberties) and he’s in the mood for collecting strays apparently, so he has happy send over the quinjet. He can’t make it himself bc hes in fucking japan or something for the next few weeks,, but. Yeah! Tony also calls peter, who is presumably in bed and feeling depressed. “Hey pete. How ya feeling? Any better?’ ‘Not really, tony. Sorry.’ ‘you don’t have to be sorry-’ ‘damn tony you sound like my therapist.’ “sorry pete, but i do have something to tell you- you know harley?’ ‘only from what you’ve told me about him, but yea. He was the tennessee garage kid, right?’ ‘i mean. Yes. so- he’s gonna come stay with me for a while too- it might not be permanent but it will probably be a bit. He’s about your age, and he just has no where to go (just like u). He’s not going to stay in your room or anything, but with bruce and thor here, he will be in your apartment area.’ ‘okay tony.. Will i have to talk to him a bunch?’ ‘not if you don’t want to- i already warned him about you, so it should be okay. I wouldn’t worry so much pete- you guys are so similar in a lot of ways that i wanted to introduce you two long before he called me.’ ‘okay tony, i trust you. Thank you again for letting me stay with you :)’ (yeah that kind of got away from me)

Section 3: build up. this is a shorter section. Harley and peter are gonna meet in section 4. This section is harley’s jet ride (with an intuitive happy) and harley’s nerves about how he really isn’t worth this (i mean hes pretty intimidated tony sent a private jet just for him) and happy like reassures him. Hes still insecure though. Peter is also nervous bc what if harley doesn’t like him? What if he doesn’t like harley?? Tony did say they would get along, but peter hasn’t really been himself recently, so who knows? Yeah lots of that. I do want to emphasize though- peter is not completely unhealthily coping. Like he has a therapist and he has been reaching out to ned and mj, but its still an open wound for him. Obviously. He still has a sense of humor though, but its to cover these deep insecurities. Like the first month or so that he was with tony, he was reallllyyyy trying to not get close to him bc he sort of thinks he kills everyone around him. Like logically he knows this isn’t true, but he does really think the that non superheroes that he surrounds himself with are very at risk if they know about his spider-man-ness. The only people who know now are ned and mj (may knew too).

Section 4: the meeting of harley and peter. Keep in mind peter has been living in this apartment/area of stark tower for about 3 months now. He actually moved in while may was in the hospital because he couldn’t stand to be alone in the apartment when he knew why may wasn’t there. And um. Yeah. so peter is like comfortable in this space, basically. Also- the reason theyre in the same apartment is because stark tower was not really created with the idea of housing broken orphans in mind, so it only has a certain amount of residential space. Thor and bruce are currently staying there together (although no one really knows if theyre together, or if theyre just best bros who went through some extreme trauma together and are now inseparable. Hmmm wonder if thats gonna come up later) and theyre using one apartment, and happy lives there with his own apartment, and tony and stephen are currently sharing the penthouse, even though thats not public knowledge. Really only the people close to tony know that he’s dating stephen. So. this leaves just the one other 2 bedroom apartment for peter and harley. It has one bathroom, and the bedrooms are connected by a door but theyre pretty big so like. Theres a kitchen, a living room with a fancy ass tv, and a really pretty view (with a balcony bc <333). May died in march, peter got leave from the school in april, and it is now the middle of june btw. Tony is now peter’s official guardian (he was before may died anyways) and now has sole guardianship over him which he has fully accepted, even though peter and him both know that there are going to be times where he has to go out of town bc he does own a company after all. Times like right now. Harley is pretty nervous that tony isn’t going to be there to greet him and that he is going to have to like introduce himself to peter and everything. Cmon, theres no reason to feel like that, he’s the one intruding after all, he should at least be able to handle himself. (<--- harley’s thoughts). Yeah so theyre insecure super cool. A n y w a y s so peter was stressing about harley as he arrived, and so when harley walked in they were both complete bundles of nerves. Harley walks up but knocks. Peter actually jumps (bc spidey sense okay whatever) and goes to get the door. Oh my god these awkward teenagers i hate them so much (i love them). Peter kinda looks like shit, sorry king. He was a little bit crying earlier, then tony called and he switched into stressed out ball-of-anxiety mode. Distractions are good, its okay. Peter opens the door for harley and they like introduce each other all awkward (again sorry) and peter shows harley where he is staying. Harley doesnt really have muchhhh bc he was kicked out and all. He just has a suitcase full of clothes, his favorite blanket, his favorite stuffed animal (yeah whatever bc ofc he does) and his phone/charger. He sets all his stuff down at once. He thanks peter for letting him stay in his apartment and also said sorry. First thing peter noticed was harley’s accent. Stfu. peter asks why harley’s here- ok. Harleys had a long ass day. Too fucking long. He- he breaks down. He tells peter a lot. About how his mom found out that he was gay, and how she told him never to come back. Yikes. Anyways, this is establishing the beginning of their relationship as friends. Peter is there for him even though he doesn’t know him at all. Peter sees some of himself in harley in this moment, even though he’s not talking about himself yet. Eventually harley does ask about peter, and they really just get to know each other really quick. They have these deep scarring individual traumas, and neither has nearly recovered, but they find comfort in just knowing that theyre not alone in their suffering. At least for now. At least in this moment.

Section 5: the next day. Peter and harley spent that whole night talking about what they were going through. Peter said good night at around 5 am (there were no adults around they can do what they want to) and they both got good sleeps. In peter’s case, one of the first solid nights he’s had in a while. Harley was kept up a little longer after peter left, however, because he just couldn’t shut off his mind. It was really cathartic for him to just lay everything out there and for someone to just accept him. Peter told him he was bi, but he was.. Lucky. He had accepting people in his life. May was accepting. God, harley couldn’t fathom having lost everyone in his life, everyone he ever cared about, and still having the heart to sit and talk with the dumbass anxious gay kid who can’t go home anymore. His problems felt so small compared to peter’s, and all he could do was admire peter’s resilience and how he was seemingly able to bounce back from anything. God, peter was something. He couldn’t wait to get to know him more. With that thought circling in his head, he finally went to sleep at oh shit 6:30 am. Peter woke up around 1. Harley at 2. When harley woke up, peter was watching tv and eating cereal on the couch and he just sat down next to him. No words, just sleepy children being sleepy. They stayed like this for like an hour when someone knocked on their door. Enter stephen strange!!!!!!!!!!! Get excited people. Hes just coming in to check on them bc tony told him to, and he didn’t get the chance last night bc he was _busy_. K so now he’s here and hes awkward and he just wants to make sure these boys r okay bc theyve both been through too much recently, and it would be just the cherry on top if they didn’t get along. Him and harley had never actually met before so he like introduced himself and all that. Offered like if they needed anything he was there, and its only gonna be a few days until tony gets back (did i say a week earlier? Im retconning that bc i cannot find it in my writing so it is now retconned). Peter and harley just have to sort of explain to dr strange that theyre getting along gREAT and there is no need for concern….. And peter was even thinking about showing harley around the city a bit that night (something he had not yet told harley, but wanted to make it seem like he was doing well and not acting too depressed in front of Dr. Strange) so dr strange is like yeah !!!!!! do that, that sounds super fun petey !!!!!! and so now they have evening plans

ok ps I wrote this like 2 weeks ago and completely forgot I posted something on Tumblr about this fic idea, and so this is literally just how I talk to myself. was not gonna ever post this but then I decided to because I'm bored. there are more sections but I'm not gonna post them rn because this post is really fucking long already!!!!