#because im not fucking drama hungry

[newbiealliance]

tumblr users when they see an unharassed queer person

[wammbam]

my thoughts are when you are part of the admin of a company that it should be All about making profit and growing as a business and effectively anything that will allow you to continue making product.

but when you are talent, its entirely your job to make a good match for your booker to sell. its about being good at what you do, whatever it is, so your booker or show runner or writer has the best chance at selling you to the crowd.

[breeloveschris]

If Only You Knew

Pt 2

Pairing: Matt Sturniolo X Reader

Summery: Y/n has the biggest crush on Matthew Sturniolo but Matt doesn’t know she exists until Y/n’s video goes viral and everyone tags him in it

Warnings: cussing

Y/n’s pov:

Me and my bestfriend Nia were hanging out in our shared apartment in LA just watching the sturniolo triplets on our tv. “Bro I’d give my left lung just for Matt sturniolo to be my boyfriend.” I said with a laugh. Nia looks at me like I’m stupid. “What??” I said in a higher pitch. “Girl are you blind?? Obviously the hottest triplet is Chris” she says pointing at the screen. “Okay let’s be real.. hottest triplet obviously goes to Nick” I said with a shrug, Nia’s now pointing at me jumping up. “Nah bro honestly man’s fineeee” she said jumping. We both fell over laughing.

“I’m gonna post a tik tok about the triplets.. well about Matt” I said opening my phone. “Girl what if he sees it? You gotta remember you have 80k on tik tok” Nia says with a short laugh. I froze, lowkey want him to see it but like what if he thinks I’m weird. “Wait, should I do it then?” I say with seriousness in my voice. “Hell yea cause what if he thinks your hot and y’all fall in love” she says pointing at me with raised eyebrows. “Nah he probably won’t even see it, let’s be honest” I say laughing while going through saved sounds looking for a good one too use.

I finally found one to use, I picked the sound that goes “oh my.. good looking boy”. This might start drama but who cares. I giggle at the thought of these girls coming at me for this. I pick a picture of me standing in front of the mirror with my hair down wearing black cargos with a pink cami top with lace and a pair of pink Jordan’s for the oh my part. For good looking boy I chose a picture of Matt where he was also wearing pink. I watched it over and over and damn we looked great together. “Nia look I made it!!” I said yelling even tho she was sitting right beside me.

“Girl why the fuck you yelling, im sitting not even 5 feet away from you” she says laughing. “Just look.” I said passing her my phone. She watches it with a smirk. “You’re gonna get so much hate for this” Nia says with a laugh. “Yeah but like who cares it’s just a joke” I said taking my phone back, “I’m even gonna tag him just for the hell of it” I said adding his name to the tag and making the caption “me and babydoll are goals 🤘🏼😓”. I pressed post and exited out of the app not even wanting to deal with it right just yet. We continue watching YouTube for about an hour before Nia speaks up. “Yo I’m low key hungry as hell” she said throwing her head back. “Nah bro same, let’s get dressed up and go to BOA and act like we’re influences!” I said smirking and getting up.

We both got dressed in cute dresses and sneakers, Nia had on a white body-con dress on and some black sneakers. I did the opposite so we could get some cute pictures. We went to the store first and some man came up to us and asked us why we were in dresses and we told them and they laughed, he ended up giving Nia his number. Nia felt bad because she can never say no to anyone but she was never gonna call him. Nia drove down the street to BOA blaring ‘idol’ by the weekend. I took pictures of her while she danced, she took a few of me too when we got to the restaurant and we was waiting for valet to park our car.

We finally get seated after a 30 minute wait. “So how’s work going” I asked Nia as we sipped on our drinks. “It’s going good, Carly’s still a bitch tho” she said laughing. “You need to like ask for a different shift cause she’s been up your ass lately for real” I said while grabbing the menu. “I can’t because I’d have less hours and we have to pay rent some how”she pointed out with a sigh. Our rent is out the door expensive, one of the only downsides of living in LA. “Yea you might need that money” I said laughing while looking at Nia, she looks behind me and her smile dropped slightly. “Don’t look behind you but the triplets are behind you” she said looking at them.

“Girl you best be lying right now” i spoke with a smile. “I’m being so deadass” Nia said looking back at me with a smirk. “Do I go give them my lung?” I said dropping my smile to hide my smirk. Nia just laughs and shakes her head. I get up to go to the bathroom which is behind me, I turn around and see that they’re not even 4 tables down from us. I can see Matt and I almost faint, he’s just so fine. As I’m walking past their table to get to the bathroom I look ahead of myself so it doesn’t look like I’m staring, but I can still see in my peripherals. I can see Matt and Nick look at me and Nick interrupts Chris and said “I don’t know who that is but I need to be her friend” with a laugh.

I didn’t hear anything else that was said cause I was already to far before anyone said anything else. I get done in the bathroom and walk back out making my way back to my table. I can now see Chris and Nick since they were sitting on the opposite side of table. I only looked for point five seconds before looking at Nia with a smirk and she just shakes her head. As I’m walking up to the triplets table to walk past, nick waved at me. I smile brightly and wave back, “hey! I just wanted to say you’re so pretty and I love your dress” Nick said when I got to their table I stop and look at him with a smile. “Thank you! I got it from a thrift shop, one of my best finds honestly”

“Dude I love thrift shopping, honestly favorite thing to do on my free time.” Nick said smirking. I tried so hard not to look at Matt but I could feel him looking at me, so I looked at him and smiled, him smirking back at me. “If I could live in a thrift store I would” I said looking back and nick while laughing. “Before you go just wanted you to know that you’re so pretty” Nick said smiling, “thank you, but my friend’s waiting on me” I said smiling and waving. Nick waved back and I made my way back to Nia who looked shocked. “Why were you just talking to the triplets, and why did Matt smirk at you” Nia said as soon as I got to the table. I just laughed as I pulled out my chair. “Nick stopped me to tell me that I was pretty and he liked my dress, then we started to talk about thrift shopping” I said while sipping on my drink.

“Deadass??” Nia said in a whisper yell. “Yes bro why would I lie” I giggled, “did you tell them you were a fan?” She said with a smirk. “Honestly no, talking to them felt like we’ve been best friends for so long.” I said smiling. “What if they seen that tik tok or what if they will see it and then they know you’re a fan” she said worriedly. “Then they see that I’m a fan, I didn’t do anything I just talked to them like people Nia” I said letting out a soft laugh. “Y/n, Matt keeps looking over here” Nia said with a smirk. I just shrug while eating my food. “He could be looking at anything dont overthink it” I said just brushing it off. “Have you looked at your tik tok?” Nia said finishing her food. “No, and I don’t plan on it, not until we get home at least.” I said with a sigh.

“Alright, you ready to go?” Nia said after paying and getting up. “Absolutely” I said giggle as we made our way out of the restaurant. We were outside and there was a line for valet so while we waited we did a little photo shoot. As I was taking pictures of Nia someone jumped in her photo. I looked up after taking the picture seeing Nia and Chris standing beside her. I laugh and shake my head. “Holy shit you scared me” Nia said holding her heart. Chris laughs and says “I’m sorry, I had to get in the picture” he said. “That’s okay, I’m a huge fan so it makes it even funnier” Nia said laughing.

Chris looks at me and back at Nia “y’all are fans?” He said smiling and continuing “I didn’t know you were a fan” he said pointing at me. I just laughed “I didn’t think it was important” I said shrugging he smiles nodding. “Well do you guys wanna-” Chris starts but gets interrupted by Matt and Nick walking over to us. “Chris you can’t just leave cause you didn’t wanna pay the bill” Matt said shaking his head. “Is he bothering you guys?” Nick said with a laugh. “No, they’re fans. And I may have purposely photobombed..” he said looking at Nia for her name.

“Oh I’m Nia and that’s Y/n” she said smiling. “Ah yes I purposely photobombed Nia” he said with a smirk. Nick looks at me with a confused face, “Y/n I DIDNT know you was a fan?” He questioned. I shrugged and said “I didn’t think it was important, and plus we started talking about thrift shopping and that’s almost all thoughts out of my head” I finished off with a laugh. “Okay valid, y’all in line for valet?” Nick said pointing behind him. “Yeah but the lines so long we decided to do a photoshoot” Nia said laughing

“Well do you guys want a picture with us?” Matt speaking to us for the first time tonight. “Hell yea” Nia said with a smile. “Okay guys huddle up, I’ll take the picture” I said with a smirk pulling out my phone, they stood together and smiled. I took like 15 pictures from when they started to get in position and when they were getting out so Nia could have multiple to choose from. “What about you Y/n, do you want one” Chris said looking at me. “No it’s okay” I said smiling. “Cmon I thought you was a fan” Matt said smirking. “Yeah go stand beside Matt” Nia said smirking, I glared at Nia my face going red.

“Oh so your a Matt girl I see” Nick say with a smirk, Matt looks over at me with a smirk. I cover my face saying “shut up dude”, “cmon the lines moving” Chris says with a laugh. I uncover my face and walk over to them standing beside Matt and putting my hands around his and Nicks back. Matt putting his hand on my hip. I smiled for the pictures and we pulled apart. “It was nice meeting you guys” Nia said smiling at them. “Likewise” Matt said smirking. Nia hugs them, while I look at the pictures. “Where my hug at?” Nick says laughing, I put my phone back in my purse laughing. I pull him into a hug smiling, “it was really nice meeting you, also I’m sorry for not telling you I’m a fan I just got sidetracked” I said with a small laugh.

“No you’re good, It happens a lot actually” Nick said with a laugh. “Nick move, she’s gotta hug us all” Chris said pushing Nick and pulling me into a hug. “Dude you need to talk more, you’re so quiet” Chris said pulling away from the hug. “My bad, I get quiet around a lot of people” i shrugged. “Nah I get that, but it’s us you don’t gotta be quiet around us” Chris said smiling. I just laughed and shook my head as Matt and Nia walked over to us. Matt pulling me into a hug. “It was nice meeting you, since you’re a Matt girl and all” he said smirking. I hide my face again with a quiet “shut up” dragging out the P. Nia laughs taking my hands off my face. Matt just smirks at me when he sees his car pull up. “Bye you guys!” Nick said waving.

We got in the car, and started driving before Nia screamed. “Holy fuck, what the hell was that??” I said holding my chest with a laugh. “We just met the fucking triplets” Nia yelled. I couldn’t help but laugh, “and it felt like we were just hanging out with friends, also Matt was staring you down” Nia continues. “No he wasn’t, also you outing me in front of him?? What the fuck was that about” I said pointing at her, she just shrugs and said “yall looked hot beside each other”. “Fuck, I forgot to give him my lung” I said laughing, “dude shut up, you barely even talked, there was no way in hell you would’ve said that shit in front of him” she said laughing. “Yea, no your right but still” I said with a laugh

We got home and immediately ran inside both of us going to our rooms to change out of the dresses. I changed into pajama shorts and sports bra, throwing on a fresh love hoodie on. I walk back into the living room throwing on a random Sam and Colby video waiting for Nia to get back. “Look how Matt was holding your hip in this” Nia yelled walking into the living room. “I know it’s fucking crazy bro, I was like.. are you tryna get in my pants right now?” I said laughing. She sits down beside me looking at the picture. I finally mustered up the confidence to look at the tik tok. “Holy shit.” I said looking at the 100k likes and 6 thousand comments.

“What?” Nia asked still looking at her phone. I just hand her my phone. “Holy shit is right” Nia said laughing. “Everyone and their mother is tagging Matt and surprisingly not many hate comments.” She said looking at the comments. “Oh shit, Nick commented” she said, “oh my, what did he say” I said looking at her with fear. “He said 20 minutes ago “so Nia was right, you’re a Matt girl” and then tagged Matt himself” she said smirking. I looked at her like I just saw a ghost. “That means he’s definitely seeing it” Nia continued. “Dude no, he’s not allowed to” I said laughing while Nia passed me back my phone.

Me and Nia ended up saying goodnight and going to our rooms to go to bed. I’m just lying in bed thinking about today. I can’t believe Nick saw the tik tok and even tagged Matt, he’s gonna think I’m so weird. I lay there for about 2 hours just thinking before I finally fell asleep.

How do we feel about this series so far 🧐🥳

Taglist: @lacysturniolo @mattsaq @junnniiieee07 @sturniolosreads @creamoncreamoncream2 @robins-scoop @blahbel668 @carolsturns1 @sturniolopepsi @luverboychris @hearts4chris @freshloveforthefit @stuniolobbg @novasturniolo03 @alexb5598 @sturnioloa @nicksmainbitch @icedchailatee @bunbunbl0gs



[weixuldo]

Enigma// ch 13

anakin x reader

a/n: sorry for the wait!!! i started a summer job and i’ve been hellllllaaaa busy lol- dw tho, im still writing!!

You have a relaxing dinner with Ahsoka until the end of the year approaches

warnings: cursing, cannon disabled character, insecurity, mention of periods, possible pregnancy mention,

_______________________________

More time passed and you prepped for finals; luckily this year you were able to exempt most of your sit in exams and instead only had one big project and a 20 page thesis due. 

You had been feeling nauseous for the past few days but the 20 page paper’s deadline was looming over you, so it was probably the stress from that. You also hadn’t had much time to eat, so you could also just be hungry. 

You ignored the feeling and went back to typing.

The paper was almost done, only two more pages then you were free for the weekend.. Just two more.

Ring Ring

Ahsoka was calling, you finished the sentence you were on before picking up the phone.

“Hey”

Hey hey! Are you busy tonight?

“I should be free after one more page of this thing”

Damn! Congrats! You've been at that shit since mid terms! I think that deserves celebration!

You laughed, hopefully she wasn’t proposing a party because you weren't quite feeling up to that.

“What do you have in mind?”

I dunno… wanna  just grab take out and eat it by the koi pond? I kinda just want a chill night before I have to start practice for nationals. 

“That sounds wonderful”

Cool! I'll see you at 6:30?

“Sounds good to me!”

Oki bye bye!

The end of the line clicked as she hung up and a small smile settled onto your face; even though you hadn’t known Ahsoka that long, the two of you just clicked and were almost always on the same wavelength.

Some of you wanted to tell her about Anakin, but you just felt like at this point it would add drama to the already stressful end of the year. 

You were seen as the baby of the friend group, so you wouldn’t know how they would feel if you and Anakin officially confirmed the relationship…Also Ahsoka could be a little dramatic at times and you were afraid she would become too involved and make jokes or treat you and Ani differently.

And you had known Anakin long enough to know that those small changes would piss him off and he might accidentally take it out on the relationship.

You got back to your computer when you got a really bad cramp in your abdomen. 

Oh fuck, you hadn’t gotten your period on its normal week so apparently its deciding to come now…great, something else to add to your delightful week.

You finally finished your paper and let out a long groan as you stretched your back. You grabbed your keys and headed down to meet Ahsoka outside the dorms. Once the two of you met up and got your food, you walked to the koi pond on the northern side of campus. 

The sun was setting and the sky was a mixture of beautiful oranges and pinks; you took a seat on the iron bench that overlooked the gardens surrounding the koi pond. 

“This is so nice, I needed to chill,” Ahsoka said, breaking apart the cheap wooden chopsticks that came with her bento box. 

“Yea, I feel ya” you said opening the box of lo mein you ordered. 

“Ya know, I cant believe i’m gonna be graduating in just a few weeks… Like what the actual fuck, I swear I was just a freshman like two weeks ago” Ahsoka baffled as she watched the fish swim laps around the pond. 

“Oh yea, I wanted to get a brunch with all of us next sunday before I have to go to nationals, would you be able to come?” she added.

“Yes! I’d love to” you responded, before remembering that would be one of the last times you would see her before her graduation. 

“I’m going to miss you so much Ahsoka” you said sadly, “Will you keep in touch?”

“Does a fish need water? Of course y/n!” she smiled; “you’re my best girl friend; sure sky guy and Ben are nice, but they're not another girl. And I like Satine alot, but she's older and in a totally different place in life than us, ya know?” 

“Yea, I’m glad we met too” you smiled. 

You conversed over random topics and future plans-

“Do you think you’ll party a lot next year?” she asked you

“Hmm, I don’t think so” 

“Why not? Don’t you wanna find a partner or atleast a hook-up?” She asked, biting down on her last California roll.

“I’m actually pretty content, I think most of my party phase was exhausted freshman and sophomore year” 

“Yea, I get it, I really only kept going out cause the team likes to go to the big parties. Kinda changing topics though, are you interested in anyone this year?”

You froze for a split second before bringing the noodles to your mouth, “Not really, I mean I’ve been seeing this guy off campus, but I wanna keep it on the dl and so does he” you responded (you didn’t have the heart to completely lie to her).

“Ooo, is he cute? How old is he? What's his name? Does he have socials? I gotta make sure he’s good enough for my girl”

“Hah, that's a lot. Umm, I think he's cute, he doesn’t use social media much, and he’s just a bit older” (yeah right, more like twice your age).

“Ok….what's his name?” she asked again, a devious grin on her face.

You smiled and looked away, “Ahsoka, I love you, but I can't tell you, I promised him we’d keep it under wraps… He’s a very private person” 

“Do I know him?” she definitely was gonna guess it if she kept at the questions.

You took all the power you could to construct a final lie, “no, I met him on a dating app”.

“Oh, never mind I guess, I’m happy for you!”

Phew.

You were not practiced in lying.

“Thanks, I really like him… I think I may be in love…I’ve never felt this way before” you smiled. 

“That’s amazing, y/n. Will I meet him some day?”

“Of course” 

The rest of dinner was pleasant, until your stomach started hurting again.

“What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing, I think I'm just gonna get my period soon” you said.

“Wait, shouldn’t you have gotten it like two weeks ago?”

Huh?

“Yea, remember, we’re kind of synced, You’ve been starting yours half way through my cycle since like September”

“Oh, I think it's just late from the stress”

“Hopefully so” she laughed, “Wouldn’t want that mystery man to have knocked you up”. 

She was joking, but something in you became worried… it had been a long time since your last period… and you and Anakin had been pretty busy…but wait

Anakin couldn’t have kids. 

The doctors said so.

But what if…

You shook the thoughts from your head and asked Ahsoka if she would come with you to the drug store to pick up some tums for the stomach ache.

She went off to go look at the shampoo because she needed some more and you sneaked off to grab a pregnancy test.

While you were in line you decided to update your boyfriend on the night’s conversation

“Hey babe, just fyi Ahsoka was asking about who i was seeing so i lied and said a guy from tinder, just wanted to lyk”

In no time your phone buzzed

Alright, thanks for covering, have a good night princess.

“Goodnight my love”

___________________________________

The week went by and you only had the project to finish. Most of your academic stress was subsided, but your personal stress grew by the day.

You hadn't opened the pregnancy test you got last week… you couldn’t bring yourself to.

or

Maybe it was because you hadn't had time…

oh who were you kidding? 

You were scared. 

But if you were pregnant, you should probably find out soon. Right?

Right.

You went into the bathroom and locked the door.

This was it.

The moment of truth.

***

a/n: so this ch was more of a filler to get to the next few chapters…. the plot is thickening and i hope your interest stays!! ty again for reading :)

taglist: : @dnamht @sxoulohvn @angeelcoree @wtf-andys @httpeachesblog @katsukiswrld @jetiikote @poisonedsultana

[brendanbrissonswh0re]

You really hurt my feelings

It was finally summer which meant all the hughes boys had a break, luke and I were currently driving to his house in canton. When we make it to his house I immediately get out the car while luke goes to the trunk to get our luggage, as I go to knock on the door Ellen opens it “y/n honey how are you” “im doing good I missed you so much Ellen” I say before we hug “nice to see you too mom” Luke says “oh hey Luke” I just giggle in response to what Ellen says “luke honey go take the luggage to your room y/n and I have so much to catch up on, Jim went to pick up Quinn and jack from the airport they should be here any moment now” as ellen and I sit down on the couch to talk about all the recent drama in canton luke comes down from his room and sits beside on the couch “hi baby” I say as he leans his head on my chest “mmm my favorite pillow” I give him a light slap on head “luke not in front of your mom” ellen just laughs “are you two hungry” “no thanks I ate in the car” “nah I’m good mom” right after luke finished his sentence Jim walks in with the two boys trailing behind him. As soon as jack walks through the door he spots me “Y/N” “hi jack” I say as I walk over to him and hug him after my hug with Jack i over I give quinn a hug “hi Quinn” “hey y/n/n how are you” “doing good quinner” Luke quickly hugs all all boys and his dad before he sits back down.

At dinner

“Y/n did you do something with your hair” jack asks me “I did actually I lightened it” “looks good” I blush a little because he was the only one who seemed to notice, not even luke noticed, I looked at luke and he just rolled his eyes i furrow my brows in response.

After dinner

The boys and I decided we would go to the basement and watch a movie, I was the first one on the couch because the 3 boys were up stairs getting ice cream and pop corn. I hear the stairs creek and down walks jack “hey y/n/n” “hi jackey” he sits down beside of me and puts his arm behind the couch which I thought nothing of “so what are we watching” “I don’t know i really can’t decide” “here let me pick” he says as I give him the remote. As he’s choosing which movie to watch Luke walks down the stairs before he does a double take “dude jack why is your arm around my girl” he sounds a little mad “ chill I didn’t mean it like that” jack says as he removes his arm from the back of the couch, luke walks over to the couch but sits on the other end “lulu sit beside me, I wanted to cuddle” “I’m fine right here y/n” y/n he never calls me y/n it’s always babe or baby or even sometimes honey never just y/n “it’s ok y/n/n I’ll cuddle you” Jack says before I let out a giggle “I think I’m good thanks for the offer tho jack” soon enough quinn walks down and looks at me and mouths “why isn’t luke next to you” I just shrug.after the movie is over luke and I walk into his room he gets right into bed as I take a shower after I walk out the bathroom I see Luke in bed on his phone he doesn’t even spare me a glance, weird. As I get into bed I speak up “lulu wanna cuddle” he just ignores me “luke what’s wrong” he ignores me again “seriously luke this is getting annoying” he finally answers “oh you wanna know what’s annoying you flirting with jack, why don’t you just go sleep in his bed, or better yet just go date him” “what are you talking about” “Y/N GET OUT OF MY FUCKING ROOM” he yelled he never yells at me. I slowly get up from his bed and walk out of his room tears spilling from my eyes as I walk into jacks room, I slowly knock on jacks door when he opens it he sees my tears “y/n/n what’s wrong” “I think luke just broke up with me” I say as I cry into his arms. He walks me into his room as I cry jack calls quinn into his room and tells him what happened, as soon as quinn heard what jack told him he walked angrily into Luke’s room. Quinn returns about 5 minutes later to jacks room with Luke in tow I look up at look and he had regret in his eyes he walks to me as jack and Quinn both walk out of the room. “Y/n/n baby I’m sorry I was just jealous I didn’t mean to scream at you or make you cry I promise I’ll never ever break up with you, I love you so much baby I promise” “lulu you really hurt my feelings” I say still crying “I know love and I’m sorry”

This has been sitting in my drafts for so long, also luke is officially a New Jersey devil, it’s bittersweet I’m sad they lost but happy he’s moving on to bigger and better things. Also if you like this plz make sure to follow me, reblog, and heart the post!!!🥰

[dreamii-yume]

Hello! ♥︎

I am BACK with another underrated Japanese Yandere Audio Drama ASMR recommendation for y’all~! Because this is all I’ve been doing in my spare time, I have no goddamn excuses on why I haven’t been posting much 🤡 This, my friends, is the reason why I’m so damn inactive these days lol BUT HEY—Please don’t go 🥺 This one is a real fucking gem, Darlings—I don’t understand why it has so little views on Youtube because it has everything I wanted in my hornii. There’s the plot, the smut (It’s not very explicit as to a full-on fucking, because Youtube—Just a few lewd lip sounds, that’s all 🫣 But that’s all I needed to get the neurons working) and there’s kinda some angst in there(?)

Anyway, it’s an hour-long! 🧎‍♀️ I was so happy after I was done listening to it and kinda speechless ngl ☠️ I dug hard for this gem and I’m not about to gatekeep anyone from finding it and sharing the experience (dont ask how i stumbled upon this one though, you dont wanna know how much ive been scrolling on youtube to find this, my friends 🧎‍♀️)

It’s a Yandere Audio Drama that is simply titled “Nya-chan” 🫣 Ominously adorable title, but it’ll make sense as you listened to it. As always, it doesn’t have an english translation as of now which is extremely unfortunate because I think a lot of people would’ve appreciated this more if it does—BUT THAT’S WHY IM HERE EVERYONE 👀👋

So, if you don’t mind—Allow me to spoil you all with what happened with a “brief” summary of it all ♥︎ (EDIT : THIS IS A LIE IVE BEEN WRITING THIS FOR TWO HOURS) BUT I STILL WANT YOU TO LISTEN TO THIS ART PERSONALLY, the voice actor really did a great job with it 😭 check them out, seriously.

Warning : Implied Non-Con | Implied Dub-Con | Implied Stockholm Syndrome | NTR

Kinda got way too into “translating”/“explaining” this one scene by scene so—It’s very chaotic, so that might get annoying so just a heads up lol

♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎

The story starts off with You (The listener UwU) meeting your fiance’s little brother for the first time and because you want to be a good future Sister-in-Law, you wanted to spend time and bond with him by partaking in his hobbies. He’s an engineer of some kind, and it seems like he’s a talented cook as well because when he found out that you’re hungry, he made you some pasta 🧎‍♀️You praised him, but he says you’re overreacting cause it’s just pasta lol he’s clearly embarrassed—He sounded like wanted to say something else (Probably wanting to cook more for you if you want ✨👀👉👈) but his brother comes in and interrupted him.

Under his breath, he says “Why does he have to be here of all times” which makes me think that this may not be the first time he knew of us…Or he just—y’know got attached that quick. (It really wasn’t specified 😭 or I might’ve just missed it somewhere 🤡) But ANYWAY, THE NEXT DAY—

You both met again, and he’s surprised that see you and where you work at because it’s close to his (?) You pointed out his office clothes, and he thought you were making fun of him, but was pleasantly surprised to hear you say that he looks good in it and he thanks you for it. Flustered, he changes the subject and ask where your fiance may be because he couldn’t get hold of him lately—It seems like he’s working overtime and he feels kinda bad that you’re going to eat dinner alone, so he sighs and invites you over to his place so he can make you something. He’s a real tsundere at this point of the audio drama, which was very cute lol But he seems like he has a soft-spot for you, because once he saw how you really look like you want to try his cooking again, he caved in quick lmao

At his home, he sarcastically praises your appetite and was impressed by the fact that you’re able to act so close woth him, despite only meeting for the few times lmao we have no shame. Your only reason was because you see him as you’re own younger brother too, and he only hums and scolds you more lol Even though he sounds like he’s all annoyed with you, he still encourages you to still eat more and stop complaining ☠️ He says he can guarantee the taste but plating is not his strongest forte lol

Then, he suddenly asks if you’re gonna contact your fiance anytime soon about this and it seems like you didn’t plan to do that—In which he scolds you again and say that you should, because he (your fiance) might think it’s weird. Again, you told him it’s fine because you’re only hanging out with him like how a big sister would with her younger brother…Here, we can hear that hint of disappointment in his voice as he whispers to himself, “…So you don’t see me as a man then.”

Of course, you didn’t quite hear what he says and asks if he can repeat that, but he says it’s nothing and went back to pressure you to continue eating because the food is getting cold.

After a while, you finally finished eating and he praises you for it…Also teasing you for looking so happy about it too along the way. He scolds you about learning how to cook for yourself sometimes, because you sound like you know what good food tastes like lol You told him that—Yeah, maybe from now on, in which he commented that you sound like someone prolonging their diet for tomorrow ☠️ and that’s the kind of person who usually don’t succeed on what they planned ☠️ someone calm this man down jesus christ, i did not to be called out like that ☠️ You asked him if he could teach you instead, but he refuses because he said he was self-taught and can’t teach for shit, so he tells you to learn it by yourself. Damn bro.

Then, this is where he shifts the conversation towards you instead—He asks where you and his brother met, in which you replied with the Cat Café he often visits and Yandere-kun doesn’t seem surprised lol His brother often invites him there, but he always refuses because he’s not good with crowds—Though he likes cats…AGAIN WITH THE WHISPERING he says “…If only I went with him at that time.” “Maybe I could’ve met you earlier than him.” BOI 👏

You asked him what he’s whispering about, and he denies saying anything like he always does and asked you to continue your love story with his brother. It seems like you met his brother when he was at his clumsiest, accidentally scaring a cat, and the cat made a mess, so you got angry with him. Because of that, you both met a second time for him to help you clean up, and things escalated from there—

Idk, Yandere-kun keeps saying wow that sounds like something out a manga—All sounds like he’s impressed and shit but I have a feeling that he’s so annoyed somehow lmao He sounds dead inside ☠️ He says something about it all probably being a “miracle of love” lmao He sounds so insulting about it 🧎‍♀️

He asks why you fell in love with his brother, like what’s so good about him? And you answered “The way he seems so silly, but is actually very reliable” or something—and somehow, he knew and understood that it had to be that reason too because he, too, knew what his brother’s strongest point is…Though, he didn’t know that girls likes those kinds of men too. He proceeds to slander you for having simple tastes ☠️ lmao

The conversation then starts to shift towards himself as he slowly begins to reveal how he feels inferior compared to him—Since his brother seems to have everything, while he’s just there on the shadows. You took notice of this and assured him that, at the very least, he’s still very kind. He’s flustered, embarrassed, scratches his head as he appreciates you for saying that.

…But HOO BOI THIS IS WHERE IT GETS INTERESTING—You then asked something about him, wondering if he, too, has someone he likes romantically. He was surprised to hear that actually, hesitates, but turns serious and says, “Yes…Yes, I do have one.”

“She’s very bright, kind, and a handful. She’s older than me, but so unreliable that I just can’t leave her alone.” He sounds incredibly embarrassed. “She eats the food I make with a big smile on her face…and it makes me really happy.”

But he suddenly sounds solemn. “…But that person is getting married next month, and I’m still in shock.” He laughs a little, but he sounds so sad 🥺 “I kept thinking, why is it not me? Maybe if I have met her earlier, maybe that could’ve been me by her side.”

“Why do I have to meet her when it’s all too late…? It’s really unfair.” 🥲

“But you know what’s worse?” He starts getting a little weird like he just fucking gave up on trying to hide his feelings lmao “The one that, that person is getting married to…is actually my own older brother. So, I don’t know what to do about that.”

OF COURSE, THAT SOUNDS SUS AF so, as an act of defending yourself against the awkwardness, you stood up from your seat and about to fuck off to oblivion, when he stops you like “Wait, hold up—Please, don’t leave 🥺” He admits that he was frustrated on the fact that people view you and your fiance as this sort of “fated couple”, and it makes him sick. It feels like his brother got something he wanted and once again, he lost. Yandere-kun admits that he doesn’t have that many friends, nor does he have a girlfriend himself, so it’s always his brother who gets all the attention. The expectation that was supposed to be his was given to his brother himself, so he hated how it’s happening again with you this time…and it feels like the universe is forcing him to give up on everything for his brother.

“…But why do you have to be so nice to me?“ It turns out he was actually trying to give up on pursuing you too, but it hurts because he doesn’t want to—Since you’re so nice to him, you spend time with him, and had praised him more than anyone has…But you only see him as a younger brother and not as a man. He felt like you asking if he has anyone he likes was the final straw, and he couldn’t help but laugh. He comments how insensitive you are 😭 Like having no self-awareness and all that shit man

But he knew that you were only trying to bond with him only because you want to have a good, healthy relationship with your soon-to-be Brother-in-Law…But that’s when he finally snaps and how that’s never gonna happen, “From the very first time we met, I’ve only seen you as a woman more than anyone else.” So, he will never see you as just Sister-in-Law, he loves you too much.

He was surprised himself to know how weak he actually is, because just thinking of you was this fucking painful and he’s pissed that he can’t even help himself…and embraces you, finally being able to touch you freely, and commenting on how nice you smell like.

“Hey…How do you think I can be freed from this pain?“ “How do you think am I supposed to give up on you?” Because he doesn’t want to give up on you, he wants you to fall in love with him as well and asks if that’s really such a bad thing.

Perhaps a little freaked out, you began to call your fiance’s name instinctively but he scolds you, “Please…don’t call anyone’s name but mine right now.” AND FUCKING SOFT KISSES YOU. He demands you to say his name, and when you hesitantly did—He’s on cloud-nine, asks you to repeat it again and again, and again as he KISSES YOU EVERYTIME.

“I can’t…I can’t take it anymore, come here.”

You obviously resists as he takes you somewhere, and he 😭 kinda politely asks you to stop struggling because he doesn’t want to be rough with you lmao He wants you to listen to him as he continues to force you to make-out with him (with slightly aggressive moaning, mind you ☠️) and keeps on obsessively (desperately) telling you that he loves you as if that shit was going to change anything lol but well—who knows 👀 foreshadowing, am i right Also he tells you that you shouldn’t hold your voice because he wants to ｈｅａｒyou loud and clear, so just keep on paying attention to him and he’ll make you feel good ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

THEN THE AUDIO FADES BECAUSE YOUTUBE 🫠 But it’s assumed that whether it’s forcefully (which is VERY MUCH likely lol) or not, he manages to get his way with you through the night 🧎‍♀️Mfcker even has the audacity to ask for permission, but I don’t think he would’ve cared if you had said no lmao ☠️

The next day (?) comes, or maybe it’s still night idk it’s not really specified BUT AFTER SEGGSY SESSION, he asks if it hurt (BITCH)—He proceeded to apologize, like seriously apologized🧎‍♀️Even he didn’t know why he resorted to forcefully taking you, despite knowing that it’s wrong. But whenever he thinks about how you’re going to be his brother’s wife soon, all he sees is red…He keeps apologizing and says he really doesn’t mean it and understands if you won’t be able to forgive him anytime soon.

…Perhaps you were guilty about the fact that you unknowingly lead his feelings on by being close to him too, you apogized in which he denies immediately—Saying you didn’t do anything wrong, and that everything is on him.

To compensate, you suggested to just simply forget everything that happened until now—But Yandere-kun doesn’t quite agree with that solution. “…Am I supposed to just forget about something that made me so happy?” He says he can’t do that, but realizes that he was being selfish again and apologized as he begrudingly agreed to do just that. “I guess it’s better than you reporting me to the police.” He said, it’s the least that he can do.

“I’ll…I’ll forget about what happened…Definitely. But just for this moment, will you stay with me?” You somehow agreed, and he hugs you tight—Whispering yet another apology.

Some time later after what happened, I guess…Oh, and it’s getting closer to your wedding day PFFT He calls you through the phone, and he was surprised that you answered—He’s sorry for calling you, but he says his brother is at his place and has something he needed your help with, so he asks if you want to eat lunch with them…But he understands if you don’t want to, since it’ll be awkward with him there after what happened. But you agreed anyway, “Are you sure?” He asks, but says he’ll be waiting for you then eventually.

He welcomes you to his home, and it’s not really explained here—But you were surprised to see him, maybe because he looks horribly depressed 😭 He tells you to just go inside and sit your ass down lol You ask where your brother is and he says he went to the convenience store to buy something and he’ll be back soon (doubt) and AGAIN he apologizes for what happened between the two of you, which makes me think that he’s really reflecting on his actions and I’m just being a little bitch about it ☠️ He said he’s gotten better at controlling his feelings now, and swears to you that it won’t happen again (DOUBT)

You assured him, and he finally sounds happy omg He admits that he was sad the past few days because he thought you won’t be able to talk to him again—But seeing you right now, talking to him, and reassuring him made him so glad that he’s wrong 🥹 He’s very grateful and you jokingly tell him he sounds strange compared to before.

He kinda agrees with that and admits that he loved you too much before, and every time he remembers the things he says and did, it made him incredibly embarrassed lol Though he feels better now, since he doesn’t usually have this kind of gloomy personality, so he’s fine now 🙃

…He then suggests to play a game, while waiting for his brother to come back 🙃 A very simple, easy game 🙃 Just close your eyes, hold out both your arms, listen to what he’s saying, and focus which hand is holding yours—Left or right 🙃 Ｓｉｍｐｌｅ，　ｒｉｇｈｔ？ 🙃

If you win, he’ll congratulate you on your wedding—Buy you whatever present you want…”What if you win?” You asked🧎‍♀️And this mfcker just went “What? Don’t tell me you’re worried that I’m gonna make you do something weird or something?” He laughs and strictly told you to just close your eyes alreadg lol He keeps praising you like you’re a kid and assures you that he’s moved on 🙃 So you don’t have to worry anymore 🙃 That from now on, he’s going to be your little brother like you always wanted 🙃 and it’s not like he’ll be able to do anything weird when his brother can come home anytime lol

The amount of (doubt) I had was immaculate when listening to this for the first time, darlings—Can you tell ☠️ He says if he won…He’ll let you cook dinner next time, cause he’s sick of always being in-charge of the cooking and wants to try your cooking this time.

So, then the game begins…Or not lol He’s still preparing, and the first thing he does? Obviously—Gets as close as he possibly can towards your right ear because it’s “necessary” lmao This man ain’t slick ☠️ Obviously, you’re a bit uncomfortable with that, but he says that if you give up now before anything has even started, you won’t get a wedding present from him lol “Don’t worry, it only tickles at the start. You’ll get used to it soon.” AND THEN THE GAME ACTUALLY BEGINS LMAO ARE YOU READY???

Close your eyes, repeats the rules about your hands and he—He begins to fucking BLOW on your ears ☠️ This was fucking tingly af ngl, not something to listen to whilst the dead of the night because it’s actually relaxing af jesus christ…ANYWAY, HE’S SEDUCING YOU BTW.

He bites, sucks, and licks on your ear, encouraging your body temperature to go up and proceeds to ｇａｓｌｉｇｈｔ you into thinking that there’s ABSOLUTELY NOTHING wrong nor suggestive with what he’s doing, nu-uh 🫠🫠 It’s all part of the challenge of the game, he says and your ears are just sensitive lmao He commentates on what he’s doing too omg “My tongue is going deep inside your ear.” EAR PORN HITS DIFFERENT NOW, DOESNT IT ☠️

This sussy moment continues on for the next few minutes—But like, as it’s happening, you can hear some really…ominous sounds of something shuffling in the background like someone rummaging for something and like ??? Obviously you’re curious and FINALLY—He asks which hand is holding yours right now…You answered correctly, and he proudly tells you to open your eyes for a job well-done and BOOM.

You’ve been handcuffed 🤡

He cut off every sensory you could possibly have at that moment just to distract you from noticing what he was doing. “I tricked you? No, that was all part of the game.” You probably started raising your voice, but he shushes you—Telling you to shut up, because he’s going to make you feel good again ☠️ GETS ME EVERY TIME GODDAMN IT LMAO Ladies, remember that all men do is lie 😔 (sigh)

He sounds WAY different than who he was before, which makes me think that he was only acting weak, because he sounds assertive now as he drills lewd words right into your head. “Who’s in front of you right now? Say my name.” But you call for help, called your fiance’s name instead. He shushes you gently and corrects your mistake…but asks you again, “Who’s touching you right now? It’s me, isn’t it?”

Maybe you didn’t answer, to scared to say anything—So, he reassures you by instilling you with his own twisted logic : “Don’t worry too much about my brother.” He says, like the devil on your shoulder. “You haven’t been officially married yet, so it’s fine. You’re not doing anything wrong.”

“You, me, or my brother. We’re not doing anything wrong.” He says, he sounds like he has a smile on his face as he continues to brainwash you into doing the wrong thing. “…So, say my name. Look at me and only me, because you’re the only one I can see.”

“Fall in love with me.”

“It’s fine. You’re not doing anything wrong.”

“Nothing at all.”

He kisses you a few more times, to give further validity with what he’s saying and at this point, I think you’re slowly giving up—Because there’s really nothing else you can do but accept it. He convinces you that his kisses feels good, and that you loved being kissed with tongue—and with your feeble, slowly-getting-fucked-out mind, you begin to agree with everything he says. So, he promises you that he can make you feel even better.

“I’ll always be with you.” He says, which had you confused—So, he states the obvious, “Because I’m going to be with you forever.”

“Aren’t you happy that there’s someone in this world who loves you as much as I do?”

He suggest for the two of you to “Do it” again—Your losing your focus, so he had successfully convinced you into saying that you want to do it too…He tells you that he’s happy that you’re thinking that way ♥︎

🫣🫣🫣

WE’RE ALMOST TO THE END GUYS PLEASE BEAR WITH ME, THIS IS AN HOUR-LONG AUDIO DRAMA BUT ITS SO GOOD.

After sexy time, the term “Nya-chan” has finally been addressed for the first time and it seems like while y’all we’re fucking, he was calling you that all this time. He wonders why he was calling you that too—But he guessed that it’s because he had always seen you as a little selfish-bratty cat whenever you’re eating the food he makes, so he just ended up calling you “Nya” as a nickname…Nya as in the Meow in Cat

He likes it, it feels special because he’s the only one who can call you that—He repeats it over and over again and asks if he can call you that from now on. You agreed, so I guess that’s your name from now on, Darling ♥︎👋 Nya-chan 😺 He feels so happy calling you that, it’s so special to him that he begins to cry—He loves Nya too much🧎‍♀️

(My typing hand is dying)

The next day—Someone is calling him and tells you to stay put. It’s his workplace, it seems like they need him for something despite the fact that it’s his day-off lmao somethings never change huh 😭 He’ll still go, but then he notices that you’re now standing in front of the entrance door, and he asks you if you’re going somwhere…But you don’t you say anything, so he figured that you might’ve been too afraid to stay here all by yourself…He steps closer to you, apologized for not noticing your worries earlier—But like, “I was so happy when you told me that you’ll stay with me forever, so I just trusted that you won’t leave.”

“Sorry, have you come to hate me now?” He starts to get a little unhinged, like you triggered something in him, which quite frankly means—That he’s becoming scary again ☠️ “…Hey, did I do something wrong?”

“You’re not…trying to run away, are you?” He steps REALLY close, those footsteps sounds heavy and the little laugh on his voice—Like you just said something really ridiculous and shows that he’s a little pissed 🧎‍♀️Dear God… “Let’s have a little talk, shall we?“

And he slams you to the fucking wall.

“…That’s not it, right? You’re not trying to run away, right? You understand that, right?” He bombards you with questions that I don’t even think you’re answering because he’s already convincing himself that you won’t run away, because you love him, yknow? Why would you even think of something like that lol—Like the little delusional man he is ☠️ He says he’s sorry for being suspicious, he’s just worried for his little Nya and that’s on him. You never know what’s out there.

“I’m so, so goddamn worried that I might lose it once I imagine what will happen to you if you leave this room, Nya.” He’s sounding more and more deranged. “Hey, you’ll understand that, won’t you? WONT YOU?”

He kisses you once again to prove how much he loves and cares about you, but goddamn he’s as yandere as one can get because even I’m scared of how twisted this man’s bipolar-ass kind of love ☠️ He continues to tell you all the things he’s scared of happening when you get out, like when another weird man comes in to sweep you off by the feet and he doesn’t want that 😭 It’s like this man just completely erased the fact that you and his brother are engaged and would actually be getting married in a few days lol Guess that ain’t happening anytime soon now ☠️

“Nya wouldn’t want that to happen to you too, right?“ He baby-talks you, plays with your mind and using this kind of manipulative-guilt-tripping shit going on. He even goes threatning her by saying how even he won’t be able to touch her again if you’ve become tainted by others—And in turn, no one will. So, he scares you into understanding his forceful and terrifying logic…And he’s satisfied with what you become.

He apologizes for being rough before, for almost giving you a goddamn concussion lmao Because damn he’s well-aware that he’s losing his mind, and the fact that you’re the only saving grace he has, he will do his damn best to keep you by his side—Whatever means necessary.

Another time-skip has passed—The next day came and he whispers good morning to you as you’re still chained down on the bed. He apologizes for it being tight (your wrists are probably fucked ngl) so, he’ll loosen them up a little but make sure you don’t run away, okay 👁👁 He’ll be looking at you through the camera (!?) so don’t do anything sus, okay 🧎‍♀️ sorry i love this voice drama so much

Then, someone rang the doorbell—So, Yandere-kun very gently (INTIMIDATINGLY) tells you to not be too loud as he went to go see who it is…Has a few conversation about that person, acting like he’s a normal human-being there for a second and soon—He comes back to you and you asked who it was. He said it was no one important, just the landlord…looking for a lost cat.

“…I sure hope they find it soon.”

♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎

(SOBBING)

“BRIEF SUMMARY” MY ASS—Sorry, I had too much fun translating and commentating on this lmao ☠️☠️ ITS SO FUCKING GOOD. I’m sure there were a few error in this, but like—I wish I have the general knowledge down at least so that you could understand what happened 🤡 Apologies for that lol

Please listen to the actual audio drama, it’s free on youtube—I swear it’s a different experience with voice on. It changed my life fr だいきりASMR is a hidden diamond in the rough, why is no one talking about them 😩 I’m gonna go listen to more of their content, and I’ll share some with you all if I find something more interesting to translate and commentate on lol 👀 chaotically, if y’all are into that haha

Also, I love how someone can portrait a yandere like this—A yandere that doesn’t rely too much on violence and I love the fact that he’s not just the typical sadistic type of Yandere, yknow? 😭 Like he’s just some poor pathetic bastard who fell in love with the wrong person, at the wrong time—So, you can’t help but kinda feel bad for him ☠️ PEOPLE TAKE NOTES.

[saturoslurper69]

vent

i went through a long series of irl traumatic events this week one after the other, had a serious argument with my therapist and have been just kind of out of it.

ive been sleeping under freeways with my bike, fuckin love my bike dude.

im not even homeless my mind has just been telling me to do this shit, i dont hallucinate or anything. i did have a 9 day medication-resistant catatonic depressive episode. cried myself into dehydration.

trace never left my side, not even once.

held me as i cried for hours.

the only thing that could get me to move were the kittens..

they neeeded fed, watered, love

i wasnt letting them suffer with me

they deserve better than most people ive ever known

im doing better now,

recovering,

but my bpd made me split on my adam selfship and the comfort headspace i created in hazbin's heaven

i think im finding a new comfort with jujutsu kaisen though, someone i like is also into it and i want to talk to him more

im just scared to talk to any of my friends right now

a lot of them are worried, a lot of people are worried..

i cry all the time my brain and body are unsalvgable, im broken beyond repair

but my sister holds my hands and can pull me out with the most inspiring words..

itll be a long while before i learn to love myself if i ever can

the depression never gotten this bad before though, but its subsiding..

its almost over

my wonderful partner

and my sister..

one person

one vulnerability

thats fine right?

someone needs to keep me in check,

theres playstation idle music in the background, its so peaceful..

im very hungry, ill make some dinner later

one of my friends really wants to save me..

another i relate to with pain like no one else

i care about them so much, theyve been with me so long through everything

theyre all such wonderful, intelligent, kind brilliant people

we grew up together

i cant put them through the pain of watching me die, its not often but their feelings and dreams matter to me, very much so. and i dont feel that often anymore, but i feel its because i met them at a time before my mind deteriorated.

ive learned so much from them

p

but i dont think im safe to be around

doctor is putting me on bipolar medication

fucking love drugs

gonna miss adam though, i loved him and he meant so much to me

but sometimes you have to accept things will never be the same again

there wasnt even a big drama this time that influenced my change, my brain seriously goes through random acts of attacking itself. i split on my fixations often and can get overstimulated and grow to resent them with or without peoples influence

i always find something better though 🩷

MEAT MOUNTAIN BLAST

[iamgrape]

»»————-　Panda Niki Shiina 　————-««

Character: panda! (Context: like his panda card) Niki Shiina

Content: HC.

Gift: @sh1rakin

...

Pandas are very rare you always thought as you stare at your certain panda lover who's cooking for his self proclaimed fox husband (Rinne) some buns.

You look at your Google search about panda mating and about them being too lazy to even bother to do it.

Hence of them being rare, because they don't breed from being too comfortable to rather do stuff they like.

"... I Guess not this year." You mumble as you sigh in the nth time.

"What is not this year, sweetie?" Niki looks up from his cooking as he heard your sigh and words. Rinne looks up to you as he take some buns as Niki is busy looking at you.

"... nothing." You look at him, giving him an hard stare before you rolled your eyes with a pout.

"Ehh... I think it's not just nothing. Sorry if I don't understand what you wanna say, honey." Niki apologize with a scratch on his hair. He tried to think what are you trying to imply but you only pout as you reach out to get another bun. Rinne sneakingly stood up and went behind you to look at your phone screen before going back to his chair as he pretend to get water.

">:T it's nothing...!" You stood up and left. But you give a peak at the door way when he don't follow. Before you glare at him and that hateful rinne who's laughing his ass off from the drama in front of his buns.

"...d-did I do something wrong... Ahh... By just thinking of them hating me makes me so hungry..." He mumble as he held two buns in two hands and start eating his hunger yet he doesn't feel satisfied at all.

"I'm still hungry... I hope they won't be mad at me..." He start to cook more food as rinne sneakers and laugh each time Niki think his 'hunger' would be satisfied with 'food'

" it's really hilarious how your being compare to a regular panda." Rinne says with a very insulting smile. He does sees your phone Google search earlier.

"Well, I see the very much similarities in this heated season. :P poor little bee. Doesn't know it doesn't apply to panda people lol." Rinne shrugged his shoulders as he Express his deep sorry for you, Niki can mate all year round through this is just the peak of the season.

But does he have mindset in such thing? Not really, unless his slapped across the face or better yet get yelled at how you would like him to fuck you or else its just loving you Romantically and food in his mind.

"..." Niki suddenly stop mixing stuff in pot when hunger takes the best of him. He felt his going to try to 'eat' you if you ever try to come near him, which odd as it always all people who approaches him but why is it you specifically in this hunger?

"oi, Amagi#1 your lil bro is outside." You who went out of the kitchen heard the doorbell and saw hiiro who is looking for his brother. You hatefully went back to the kitchen to get the stupid older brother of his from this stupid dense chef's kitchen.

"sugar plum..." Once again Niki have use his list of food endearment for you but this time his voice sound so huskily...? you look at him as Rinne stood up and tap your shoulder.

"good luck, little bee." He sneakers as he left with his brother and locking the door behind him. He won't come back till few days time as his a good friend who would let his friend have his good time.

"Niki what's wrong--" you notice something off about Niki but as you approach him, you were quickly pulled toward him. "I-im... Hungry...." He kisses your nape, he felt warm yet it's not do bad as his skin made contact against yours, he felt chill and cannot help but grumble... Wanting to feel more yet not understanding what he want at the moment.

"I want you...." He held your bosom as you jump and circle your legs against his waist liking how his quite affectionate at the moment, yet looking at the blushing face of Niki that breathing heavily with his nails pinching your tight.

"Hmmm~" You moan as he rub his hardness against your private. His eyes slight and suddenly went for a deep sloppy heated kiss.

As you two make out in the kitchen, he suddenly stop and quickly run to the stove to turn it off. "Oh no I burn it." He sigh as he can smell how It burn just now. You pout as the moment was destroyed. But sigh when you remember this is Niki. You were about to go fix your own problem when Niki who just clean the stove and turn off all the equipment-- went and carried you in his arms.

"Sorry about that~ but we can continue in the bedroom if you want my muffin~" he smiles at you as he open his eyes, you can see that even so he stop himself earlier his still lost in the feeling of heat and lust.

He just don't want to burn the house down with you in it.

"ah?" You where surprised but soon found yourself in the bed room with Niki loaming over you.

"Shall we continue?"

[monstress]

succession finale thoughts

rewatching already because i need to write this down while i'm still on that finale high

the immediate problem of the episode is stewy making drama. i love himmm

why would "golden parachute" frank even be in the consideration to vote 'no' for the deal??? we're grasping at straws here oh i feel for tellis despite his soulless blond self

NICKY BEE FIRE IT UP ONE LAST TIME ... god im gonna miss this theme song 🥺

when shiv said that tom is easy to manipulate while mattson is looking at the political cartoon of them. what a blunder

shiv calling her mom an associate in front of mattson slkflskgls

"are there any positives about the nightmare we've shared?" "yeah you've fallen in love finally. fallen in love with our scheduling opportunities." goddddd im so obsessed...yessss they're so awfulllllll like so true jesse make this show also a story of their marriage noah baumbach whomst????

sorry to be so kenstewpilled but the white button down, sleeves rolled up and this line???? delectable. i must speak my truth here like how could stewy not vote 'no'?

new jess.....good for you Jess you escaped this sinking ship

i gasped seeing kendall's sunglasses this episode. that has to be japanese made. nowhere else in the world make such stylish sunglasses. gorgeous pair

greg makes 200k? per month OR year????? answer me. answer meeeeee

love the Lawrence name drop! like we miss u king

the entire lukas and tom dinner scene is sooooo

tom confessing all he he built was sand and he's paranoid to keep what he has. mattson knowing he's hungry but wants to know if he's willing to betray shiv

THEN lukas immediately belittling shiv : she was pushy, she wasn't as vital as i thought she'd be, i'm SUCH a big man i know everything, she's fuckable and she wants me too

and TOM eats it????? so mattson chooses him !!!!

ugh i dont want shiv she has a lot of ideas and i want to fuck her ugh fucking disgusting ubermensch i hope jeryd doesn't win ohio and waystar royco gojogo get FCC up in their ass

alexander skarsgard's line read and acting choices r amazing tho

me to my sister: why haven't any of them used a live translator to check what the swedes are talking about? (greg in the final episode uses one) OK FINALLYYYY

shiv screaming from another room is hilarious

logan promised kendall ceo when he was seven.......the crown prince.....if dad didn't need me i don't know what i would be for.....

shiv and roman bonding at the beach after election night. when they're doing impressions of kendall and knowing sarah and kieran are each other's fave scene partners....this scene was the one that hit me that i'm watching the FINALE finale

meal fit for a king scene....when i watched this scene i was all smiles but underneath the DREADDD knowing they might be showing this because it may be the final time the scenes are happy together. oh honey. we got a big storm coming.

not shiv saying all that to willa and connor not getting slovenia in the end....the terror

the iphone video dinner scene? cheesy as fuckkkkk im sorry that was sentimental as shit and maybe a tad unnecessary. i did cry tho i did...

"IT'S FUCKING TOM." the fight in the bathroom??? mattson rallying his crew???? the convoy to hq??? with THE MUSICCCCC???? FUCKKKK UGH HOT UGH!!!! GO OFF NICHOLAS!!!!

loveeee roman's all black outfit. so chic! (he's still mourning 🙃)

and we cheered. if anything else, us gay stewy truthers won succession

(also noticed that in the above pic - the only picture of the kids on logan's table is shiv. forshadowing? maybe, maybe not but lol)

the final 20 minutes of the finale *screaming into a pillow*

like roman immediately spiralling upon seeing gerri. doubting himself, questioning his autonomy, his worth. and did kendall....break roman's stitches on purpose. to like?? steady him somewhat??? good god. what the fuck.

shiv in this shot like...this is the closest to ultimate power she'll ever have and she's reveling in it. despite herself, she enjoys being kingmaker. that's why she went into politics

it's just. i wanna wrap my head around why shiv didn't vote 'no'. is it because she *has* seen the toxicity of protecting this company infect her brothers during election night? they should take the deal and get out? is it to freeze kendall and roman out of the company as they often had done to her? if i can't be ceo, then no one can? and mattson wants tom to be the ceo and i get to manipulate tom so i win this battle? i can keep my proximity of power by virtue of being a woman that my brothers would never have? is that it? does this make sense?

(but we all know mattson is keeping tom because he's a yes man. he won't have any real power in the waystar royco gojogo so like *sad kazoo noise*)

kendall lying about the manslaughter not being real. the real thing they've bonded over??? just because it may not make him ceo??? jelly-spined move

shiv laughing kendall going 'i'm the eldest boy' and walking away going "fucking child". lmaooo deserved

i wonder if roman saying all that abt sophie & iverson is a way to distract kendall from shiv, maybe even a little spite to get back at him for supposedly lying abt the manslaughter

roman going "we're nothing." yeah...yeah....you are.....

(but they have 195 per share....so)

kendall clicking the elevator to floor zero. cinema.

the one guy entering the elevator with kendall. has he been oblivious abt what just went down? if it were me, i'd wait for the next one

tom being ceo slgjklskglskglsklhgsfglskg

him keeping gerri and karolina this is a win for the glass ceiling shatterers /jk

and tom keeping greg? will he needs someone to bully since mattson&mencken is gonna use him as a punching bag in turn lol

yes the tiger! he destroyed his cage! yes YES the tiger is out!!!!

i truly can't believe that roman came out of this series unscathed (somewhat). like his breakthrough this episode? him realizing his self worth has been hinged on inheriting the company aka his father's love? time to go back to therapy

(also him drinking a martini because that's gerri's favorite drink. what a choice!)

and friends i was rubbing my hands with anticipation when tom approaches the car just hoping hopingggg shiv was in it and when it turns out she was??? i was chanting 'hand in unlovable hand' over and over and when tom offered his hand??? i was fully clapping it AND when shiv TOOK IT?? i was fully screamingggg

in all seriousness, what a bleak ending for shiv. relegating herself as the wife of ceo. just like her mother. the power dynamics of the man she think is beneath her is now her husband and the father of her child and in the company position she coveted all her life. she can never win...she willing stay in the tarpit....shiv my tragic girlfailure i love youuu

when kendall shows up in the park in a tweed coat i was like 'oooo i hope colin is behind him' and when they pan to show he is?????? i was cheering. the micheal corleonification of kendall roy

head under water.....aaaahhhh ambigious kendeath my beloved <3

[ryderdire]

so I promised my friends I posts these back in softmore year

This quote book features @orinmothwings @the-critic-god-of-books @unknown-box-boi @jasontheweirdsibling and @rats-in-a-trenchcoatt well as as alot of my irls Doc is in this book a lot because of circumstances of us having to spend a lot of time together and I assure you they say some wild shit

I present to you my quote book.

Are you okay?-irl 🌟

I’m gay - me

MURDER SHOES - Irl 📡

What if it was a child

I DONT CARE THROW THE CHILD OUT THE WINDOW - irl 🐸

I just don’t want to violence - Jason

I will hospitalize you SHIT WAIT MEAN

HOSPTAITLY U - me

This women looks could kill god but she is god -Box

Dem Chips - Jason

I’m not currently fit for human consumption-me again

doc:I need to tell you something

Ren: Oh gods what did you do

Doc: I DIDNT KILL ANY politicians

Ren :THAT SOUNDs incrediblely suspicious

KILL ALL LEAVES -doc

THEY STOLE IT FROM GOD”

“OH YOUR DRINKING POMEGRANATE JUICE you know what THAT MEANS YOUR GOING TO DIE”- Doc

ACat girls either have fur or hair they can’t have both-Doc

You know what I’m thinking about women <3 ren

I was thinking thinking about rats

-doc

Fuck later look first-doc

Doc: We always throw people out windows why don’t we throw people into windows

Ren:That’s how we break into places

Doc:YES THROWS REN INTO A WINDOW

Doc: BACK IN MY DAY MEN WHERE MEN AND WOMEN WHERE CARS

Ren: your gay

Box: no I’m hungry

I gotta call the murder lady - unkown person I forgot to label this

ME: WHERE ARE LESBAINS

DOC:I ate them

ME: NOOOOO

-He doesn’t have skin All hes got is nails and luck BOX about mr bones (I’m sorry box)

Your missing pretty women-irl 🌟

Who wants to help me kill god?

Entire table raises their hand

(This interaction is a running joke at this point I can’t in good conscious asgin it to one person)

How do you spell whore?????-doc

Box: I’m going to steal your heart in the least romantic way possible

I’m so jealous I wanna be a cryptid- ren

Are people who are attrated to cat boys furries-doc

HOW MUCH CAT IS This BOY— doc

Bitch why do you have this keyboard? - Jason when he stole your phone

Why the fuck is Ren so weird sometimes?- Jason also

If you drink enough, you’re gonna get drunk-

I’m dying, I’m dead, I’m in hell, Satan has given me an award forr the gayest person ever! I couldn’t do this without women- I hate you- Ren (printmaking)

Jason keeps stealing my phone and adding notes lol

Who would say that one ?

A bird -Jason

These rocks are either too pretty or too big. This rock is ugly enough

Ren:because I need to keep my gay best friend

Doc: 0;

Ren: me im the gay best friend

Doc: I’m my own gay best friend

Stop thirsting over god- doc

You don’t canoddle ren your the opposite of a canoddle I like you -the librarian on the loud speaker

WHAT

If they know theve Sinned -ren

Parental pegger -Ren

Jason :Special

Ren: COWARD L

Jason:SPEICAL

JASON: bad word English aSpecial

Jason : you don’t need to understand to see the cringe

I can lengthen my bones -irl 🐸

I don’t get bitches I make them- milo

My hair is very leggy -irl 🐸

My hair is feet - me making a typo

I’m tired of emotionally draining drama i just want to fight people

Box: bite?

Irl 🐸 and ren at the same Time: FIGHT

Me:omg gay people real

Box: of course their real have you seen yourself in the mirror

Doc: a Victorian women could pull a full ass chicken from their pocket

Doc: I’m not pregent

Irl 🙃: your pregent

Doc:IM NOT

Irl 🙃: what’s it gender what are going to name it???

BONK - headbutt from box

THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP HOE-ren

Box slaps hand on Rens shoulders:FRIENSHIP

Ren screems

Offendedly: Whore - box to dogs with their balls

“Gay” - box

Irl 🌳:he looks Gay

Orin:HIS DAD JUST DIED

Orin: I like men who I could kill and women who could kill me im a switch

Ren: Doc. Tell my story

Doc:I’ll tell it in extradited voiceeeeee

Doc: I’m going to pick you and (no memory of what the rest of this was my bad)

Irl 🎃:NO DONT TOUCH THE LORD (referring to a rubber duck)

Pigs sure as hell can fly it’s called cops in a helicopter-me

Don’t foldle the lord in such a manner - irl 🎃 (still about that rubber duck)

you look like a gnome- doc about my mental breakdown haircut

Me: I was making fun of myself making fun of my self ):<

Rat:

Me: ):<

Rat: your mentally ill.

Doc: I wonder how someone discovered milk

Me:someone was probably horny

Me: congrats you where the last people to find out you where dating.

Orin: you know what I hate?

Ren: women

Orin:tonsil stones what the fuck

Be nice to yourself bitch (finger guns pointed at me) - Rat

Me: (in my villan ) sex….. kinda…mid ngl.

Orin:

Irl 🌕: NO don’t crusfiy the snail. ):<

Me: I don’t sleep I’m built differnt

Doc: Ren you are made of flesh bones and sadness that is 80% of the human population your not different.

Ren: that’s what a bumper sticker is

Doc:but you don’t have a girlfriend or a car

Ren: well actually

Doc: *gasp* you have a car??????

I turn down the temputre of every room I’m in

cuz ur not hot

Because I’m a ghost????? - I don’t remember who said this I promise I’m good at my job.

Orin: Is this a beautiful women or a very gay man

answer: it’s a bit in between

Doc:A large truck

Me:Correction two trucks fucking.

[rewritingcanon]

hp next gen red flags for @sunflowersandscorpius 🫶🫶

rose: will think she is better than you because she reads something with more literary merit

albus: will act like such an asshole to you bc hes tired or hungry or something small but when you snap back at him he’s completely shocked like he didn’t just deserve that

scorpius: something bad will happen to him and his anxiety has him warning you and making you stress over the most random ass shit. like he’ll say “omg last week i said i felt pretty and i said ‘i feel pretty today’ and NOW i have a pimple on my chin. NEVER call yourself pretty. uh huh. in fact, never say anything good about yourself because you will accidentally JINX yourself yeah uh huh”

delphi: literally tortures kids she gives off the vibe of a weirdly conservative alt siege mask girl idk

victoire: will complain with you about how HARD that test was and how she is going to absolutely FAIL it bc she did so bad. then she will get a 98% and you will get a 67% or something and she’ll be like ‘omg you did so well! 🤭’

teddy: type of person that you will spill your heart out to and you wont know a goddamn thing about him because of how fucking secretive she is

james: will break up with you by saying ‘im sorry im just not ready for a relationship’ and then will ghost you forever and find a new girl in two minutes

lily: you will tell her a secret and everyone and their great aunts will know it in an hour

lysander: worst person to be spilling drama with. he could tell you his parents are getting divorced and when you ask him why he’ll say “idk i didnt ask 😐”

hugo: has wayyyy too many friends to the point you could give him the most thoughtful carefully crafted gift ever and he’ll be like “omg thanks this is so cute 😻” and then chuck it with the rest of the just as thoughtful carefully crafted gifts

yann: hes not exactly problematic but he has friends that are, and he’s the type to say “oh no they’re really not that bad 🥺” as polly is beating someone up beside him

polly: will say the most fucked up thing EVER like its nothing and add a ‘lol’ or ‘xoxo’ to it at the end 😨

karl: cannot have a real conversation. try to strike up a mature conversation to better the relationship with him and his attachment issues got him saying “damn aight” to your carefully thought out heartful speech

craig: plays devils advocate in history class 💀

sophia: will offer to massage you if you’re feeling stressed and will end up breaking your bones (accidentally but still… unpleasant)

dominique: thinks shes better than you because her eyeliner is better

louis: will call you poor (as a joke but still)

molly: will point to someone literally getting run over by a car and will say “omg thats so embarrassing”

lucy: says “its on like donkey kong”

fred: says ‘who’ and then pauses and says ‘asked’ and acts like he roasted tf out of you

roxanne: will tell you in detail about personal things and dgaf about TMI topics. she just took the most massive dump and you’re going to hear every detail. you’re also going to hear about this incredibly steamy scene in the book she read last night, and all the random places of her body where she has weird bumps that she thinks she should be concerned about.

lorcan: doesnt wash his back

alice (bonus): will do work of her own free will and then complain about it. same vibe as your mum going “i slave away in this house”

[barbwalken]

Man im so conflicted about totk. I really enjoy playing it like a fucking lot, every new scene and memory was fascinating to me. But mostly because it was something new, and once i started to connect them and think about it, the more evident it is that for the developers the priority was the game play first, and then the story.

It feels so lacking, i dont know, im not asking for a shakespearean drama, but that good vs bad kinda stoy gets a bit old after like 30 years.

And i dont mean it because i want a good ganondorf or something like that, but because it would be great to know why the fuck he is such a bitch about hyrule, other than oh he bad hyrule good. I loved how oot had some serious implications about the shitty stuff the hyrule kingdom did, use that shit! Here it is just like yay we good friends with everyone, this gerudo dude is just an asshole, and it makes ganondorf look so damn plain because his reason to make a mess in hyrule is just im bad and power hungry, and im going to fix something thats not broken, just like in the other 3 games.

I didnt like botw ganon, but it was more interesting to me a dude that became a destructive force of nature for unknow (on that time) reasons. It got me like bitch, what is your problem? who hurt you? But no, he was just petty.

I dont have problems with villains being bad for no particular reason, but when you tell the same story again, and again, it gets a little old and tired. Specially after waiting for like 6 years to know wtf is going to happen next.

And this conflicts me even more, because you have no idea how fucking much i still enjoyed every second on screen of totk ganondorf 😭. His deliver was ~ chef kiss 🤌💕~ fucking awesome, but his reasons were, at this point, lacking for me u.u

[swampgallows]

just finished breaking bad. thoughts (no spoilers):

1. i said it before but i like the many scenes of characters eating. it makes the time and people feel more real rather than when their world exists only while the camera is on, but it also makes me wonder what their shooting schedule was like and what the spit bucket situation was. lots of important daily elements of real life like the school/work-life balance, doing chores, other bodily functions (sleeping, bathroom, having non-superhuman lung capacity, getting sick, etc.) that make the characters and storytelling believable and mortal.

1a. shit made me HUNGRY though. ive had almost exclusively tex mex or egg and hashbrown breakfasts while watching

2. every single car screeches off no matter the scenario. after a while it developed a wilhelm scream effect and made me laugh

3. i would not be able to finish this show if not for jesse. according to my mom he was not supposed to be a permanent character but im glad they kept him in. jesse adds a really important and desperately needed element of humanity and “everyman”-ness. he’s not a savant, he doesn’t have a special gift, he’s a regular guy. shouldering that perspective of “ordinary person directly affected by walt’s actions” onto only skyler’s character would overload her already heavy role; jesse’s character balances things out by providing the audience a window into walt’s world as not only a regular person, but as an active participant. essentially skyler and jesse show two different kinds of “innocence” but remain organically three-dimensional and significant in their own way rather than being defined by their association to walt. their inclusion keeps the story from devolving into a series of guys in suits standing around glaring at each other and speaking in code, which otherwise veers into comic book territory imo.

3a. i fucking loved seeing jesse sporting south pole and volcom. i know tumblr kids are like “oh he wears baggy clothes because he’s trans” or whatever but you need to understand that in the mid 00s that was the absolute cishettiest way a guy could dress. it was the fashion equivalent to axe body spray. if you could even slightly make out the shape of a guy’s torso youd say he was “metrosexual”

4. it was very fun spotting the scenes in the remix. however knowing the original context of the samples definitely changes things lmfao. hank absolutely makes that musical ‘boing’ tone with his mouth and it is only pitch-shifted for the remix; it is captioned as “boom” but by no stretch of the imagination is that reflective of whatever it was he did with his vocal cords. the “you are not the guy” is spoken with near identical cadence and rhythm to the song which caught me so off guard, i could see why it was sampled

5. since i watched mostly with closed captioning, it also displayed song lyrics on screen which helped me better appreciate the songs’ pertinence to the scenes they play in

6. flip phones aside, what really drove home the “late 00s - early 10s” was the one time they played wobble-heavy dubstep while showing off the fancy cars. jesus christ

7. WHY SO MANY LAYERS OF CLOTHING. they will be in the middle of the new mexico desert under the blazing sun and still have a cardigan on

it’s well written and i dont really regret watching it but the suspense/crime/drama genre triad is definitely not my cup of tea. certainly a high quality show though especially in a time before streaming and cinematic-level miniseries were the norm, so i can see why it has such popularity and impact. anyway onto better call saul

[stillreeloading]

90 days of productivity

Day 47/90

With @academiawho and @docta1228

4th November 2023, Saturday

Had a molecular modelling workshop today that I had enrolled for. I barely understood shit but i paid for it so I stayed. It mainly seemed like it was for 3rd of 4th year pharmacy students rather than 1st years.

(Rant starts):

SO THE FREAKING WORKSHOP WAS SUPPOSED TK START AT 12. I CALLRD A FRIEND WHO WORKED BTS FOR THE WORKSHOP AND ASKED IF IT WILL START EXACTLY ON TIME AND SHE SAID FUCKING YES. SO AND MY FRIEND DIDNT EAT LUNCH ANS WENT THERE ONLY FOR IT TO START AT 12 30 MAN WE COULDVE HAD LUNCH.

IT WENT ON TILL 2 40 AND I WAS FUCKING HUNGRY.

WORST PART IS THERE WAS A CELEBRITY SHOW SCHEDULED AT 4 PM (AS PART OF THE FEST). EVERYONE'S CRAZY ABOUT THESE CELEBRITIES SK SEATS ARE HARD TO GET. SO MY FRIEND, AFTER WORKSHOP, DECIDED THAT SHE'D RATHER GO SAVE SEATS THAN EAT LUNCH.

I LITERALLY SCREAMED "FUCK THAT" IN THR CORRIDOR WHEN SHE SAID THAT.

IM LIKE FINE U GO SAVE SEATS IDC IM OFF TO HAVE LUNCH.

I RANTED TO MY PARENTS AND THEYRE LIKE "ITA FINE YOU GO EAT LUNCH A CELEBRITY ISNT THAT BIG THING IS THAT ACTOR SOME GREAT PERSON OR SMTG? DO WHAT U WANT"

So I ate lunch while watching a drama (a guy who defies the world of bl season 2) and an anime (spy x family) episode.

Then I just sat and watched some other random videos, studied a bit, etc. until around 6 or 7 (all while ignoring calls and texts from my friends). Then when they came i acted as if I was sleeping.

Later this night there was a dj and i didn't because I didn't feel the energy.

[xsixxx]

Bad Influence - Chapter 12

Word Count - 3.2K

Authors Note - Hey! It's been about 2 & a half years since I last posted an update for this story, but it's always warmed my heart whenever I've come back on here & seen messages/anons from people saying they've read it & hoped I'd update it! I truly have no idea how much of this fandom still exists on here, but I had so much fun writing this before, so I've just decided to carry on as & when &, if no-one reads it, then that's ok 😂

Honestly this chapter feels trash, I'm super rusty at this. I know where the story was always headed, so I've carried on with what I always had planned for Beth & Nikki, but obviously it's been a while since I've been in their heads & I'd kinda forgotten how to write them, so hopefully I'll get it back!

Feedback is always welcome, please just forgive me if this sucks 😂🖤

Warnings - Ermmmmm don't think there's much in this one tbh, language obviously & some major fluff from Beth at one point

Tags - Ok so no idea who's still here but I'm just gonna tag everyone that used to be tagged, lemme know if you're not interested any more & I'll be sure you take you off!

@cruecifymesixx @freddiessmallnipples @scarecrowmax @lovesick-heart0 @80sheart-strings @crazysaladchopshop @ggorehorror @lunamadhatter99 @chaoticvybe @you-know-im-a-dreamer @eightiesrockbaby @valentines-in-london @xrosegoldwolfx @lilypetite88 @this-blog-must-be-the-place @unknownoblivion @mgkobsessed @nassauartist @sparxx27 @crazyrockrlady @fuckingshelbert @rockaholi @leatherandheels @x-ximenas @madamsixx

(Terrible quality gif but a US Festival one was needed & how fuckin fine are these pair in this, like just kiss, go on I dare ya)

May '83

*Beth's POV*

I peaked out from the corner of the stage to catch a glimpse at the source of the chanting. A mass of 500,000 faces blurred together as their chorus of "Crüe, Crüe, Crüe" shook so violently through the air, I could feel it vibrating in my chest.

Heavy Metal Sunday at the US Festival in San Bernardino had been kicked off by Quiet Riot & they had waltzed off stage after a killer set leaving the crowd hungry for more. And Mötley Crüe were next, ready to deliver.

"I think I'm gonna throw up" Tommy whimpered, leaning over my shoulder to get a look at the sea of people. "What if I fuck up & like drop my sticks or something? Or forget the songs? Or I vomit on stage?"

I laughed at his misplaced panic, turning to face him & resting my hand sympathetically on his shoulder. "T-Bone, you've got more confidence & energy than anyone I know, you've just gotta go out there & use it! You're gonna fucking kill it & you're gonna have the best time! Then you're gonna drop the next album, everyone is gonna go wild for it, you're gonna get even more famous than you already are & you're gonna move up in the world & forget all about us little people!" I joked, my sympathetic hand turning into a playful little shove, trying to distract him from his nerves. "Meanwhile I'll spend my life telling everyone about the time Mötley Crüe invited me to hang out with them backstage at the US Festival, because this is by far the coolest thing that will ever happen to me."

Tommy chuckled, his usual goofy grin returning as my distraction tactic took hold. "You can tell them about the first time you did coke in a bathroom stall with THE Tommy fuckin' Lee!"

"Exactly! Now go get ready, I've got some flirting to do with bands more famous than you," I winked, chuckling at his faux hurt expression, his hands clutching his heart with mimicked pain. "What?! I see you fuckers all the time, I'm making the most of this experience!"

"Sixx is so gonna regret inviting you!" Tommy warned, a hint of concern in his otherwise playful tone.

"That boy thinks some VIP passes are gonna make up for all the shit he's done?" I scoffed, rolling my eyes at Tommy's raised eyebrow. "Look, I'm bored of the Beth-Nikki drama, as I'm sure you all are, so let's forget it. Today is about the band, the reason I'm here is to support you all &-" My words & my focus cut off abruptly as my eyes swept across the cute brunette who'd walked past, his boyish features not too dissimilar to Tommy's. He clearly felt my gaze & his eyes flickered to meet mine, catching me off guard with a cute grin that I couldn't help but return without a thought. "... And you know, maybe to support some other band members too.." I finished slyly.

Tommy followed my eyeline, trying to deduce who'd caught my attention & he laughed when he'd figured it out.

"Eddie, really?" He howled, gesturing obviously towards at the founding member of Van Halen. "I would've though Roth would've been more up your street, yanno, given your history with blonde front men & all!"

I swiped at his arm sharply, shushing him & smiling apologetically in Eddie's direction as he gave an awkward little nod & moved on.

"Goddamn it T-Bone, your big fat mouth is gonna ruin this for me! Now will you go play your damn set, Sixx looks like he's gonna blow any second."

"Ok, ok, I'm going! Thanks for the pep talk doll, you're the best!" Tommy gave me a quick peck on the forehead before bounding back off like an excited puppy to join his band mates, all traces of nerves dissipated.

I looked over at the four of them, all doing their usual pre show routines. Mick was swigging from his hip flask, next to Vince who was flirting with a cute stage hand. Tommy was enthusiastically drumming his sticks on everything in sight, including a stern looking Nikki who was, no doubt, trying to psych them all up with one of his usual don't-fuck-it-up speeches.

I observed them for a moment & couldn't help but allow a proud feeling to warm my heart. I listened the echo of the crowd as they continued their chant, which fast turned to cheers & shouts of excitement as the four of them made their way on to the stage. It was so easy to forget how famous they'd gotten in the time I'd known them. To me, they were friends, no matter the drama that had unfolded between me, Nikki & Vince, they weren't celebrities or rockstars. But as I watched them play, listened to their music I'd once despised but had grown to enjoy, it was like watching strangers. I felt like just another fan, getting to enjoy a band. It was surreal to connect the reckless, fun, roguish boys I hung out with to these talented, serious musicians.

My gaze & attention, unintentionally but predictably, wandered to Nikki, dolled up in all his leather & studs, the smears of black paint under his eyes, beaming at the crowd as they gave him the reaction to his music that he so badly craved. Against my better judgement, I found it inordinately endearing. If I didn't already know from our little psychology session together just how meaningful music was to him & how deep his passion ran, it was evident on his face for all 500,000 fans, & me, to see.

The screaming audience in my peripheral vanished, as did Vince, Mick & Tom, as I fell captive to Nikkis performance. Studying his child like, genuine smile, I realised it felt like I was seeing the real him for the first time, the man underneath the bravado, the ego, the smug smiles & the cruel quips. He looked truly content, like he belonged.

And suddenly, I felt sad.

I finally allowed my mind to admit what I'd continued to suppress underneath all my loathing towards Nikki, the reason I kept coming back & letting him in.

I wanted him.

But not just in the way he wanted me. I wanted this version of him, the content, untroubled Nikki with the genuine smile. I wanted to experience him this way, share in his passion & celebrate it with him, be by his side as he suceeded in what he loved the most. And the sadness came simply because I knew I could never. I knew as soon as the set was over & he walked off that stage, I'd have to face the anger that still consumed me, the reality of the impossibility that Nikki Sixx could ever be someone I could allow myself to fall for.

Senseless tears stung my eyes, threatening to spill over as I observed him play the last few notes of their last song & enthusiastically part with the stage, the crowd &, ultimately, the version of him that I longed for.

I shook my head, furiously wiping my eyes to discourage any more emotional displays & ran to greet them with all the spirit & excitement they deserved.

"Reynolds! Whatcha think doll? Did we kill it or what?!" Whooped Tommy, opening his arms warmly towards me as I sprinted over. I jumped into them as he picked me up & spun me around, giggling with nothing but joy for them.

"You guys were unbelievable! Listen to them out there, they can't get enough of you!" I gushed as he put me down & I hugged Vince, then Mick.

I turned to Nikki, instinctively ready to congratulate him with a hug too, but paused awkwardly as our eyes met & we exchanged an unsure glance.

"Ahem, yeah you guys were great," I managed, smiling at him, praying the discomfort wasn't too obvious.

"Thanks Lizzy.. I'm, uh- I'm really glad to decided to come." He replied, a fraction of that genuine smile still in place of his sweaty, exhausted face.

"Yeah.. Me too, Sixx."

●●●

The next few hours were a blur of execs, press & management swamping the band as I watched the rest of the festival from the sidelines, feeling a little out of place in amongst the crew & talent backstage.

Halfway through enjoying the Prince of Darkness himself perform, I felt a light rap on my shoulder & turned to see a familiar face I would never have expected.

"Daniel?!" I spluttered, laughing a little at the surprise to see his clean cut, handsome face in the wash of metal heads & glam rock bands I'd grown acustom to throughout the day.

He laughed right back, the sound sending a little spark running through me. "How're you doing Beth?"

"I'm good! Wow, this is bizarre, what're you doing here?" I quizzed, the perplexed looking on my face amusing him all the more.

"Well med school comes with a hefty price tag unfortunately, so I'm working as one of the festival medics. I was called back to attend to a couple of the bands that apparently got into a bit of a brawl", he answered, before raising his eyebrow so subtly, I could've almost missed it. "Look at you backstage, miss VIP!" He gestured towards the lanyard dangling from my neck. "I'm presuming this means you're still firmly strapped into that rollercoaster, huh? Front row & all!"

I gave an sheepish smile, not sure how take his comment or how to respond.

"Well no, I'm not on the rollercoaster, anymore" I mused, sticking with his metaphor, "But I'm still at the theme park, I guess!" Daniel looked confused as I gestured at my surroundings & laughed at my own stupid comparison. I coughed & hurriedly explained "That's to say, I'm not here for Nikki, I'm here supporting the band yanno, they're my friends & all."

"Ahh I see!" He nodded slowly, not looking at all convinced. "Well I hope you're having fun, it was lovely to bump into you."

I mumbled a "you too", back at him as he turned to walk away, but I caught him by the arm, feeling like I had more to say.

"Daniel, I'm sorry for that night, the impression I must've given you.. The groupie image now being firmly backed up by my being here, I guess." I muttered sorely. "I'm not really sure why but I feel like I owe you more of an explanation."

"You don't owe me anything, Beth. We met, had a great time, but you're not in a place to carry that on & that's fine, I understand." He paused, clearly unsure whether to say what he was thinking, but he chose to continue, "what I don't understand is why you're here, supporting a man that would speak of you so appalling & treat you as such. The things he said that night, in front of me, a perfect stranger, were unforgiveable. I hate to imagine what else he'd said & done before that to make you dislike him so much."

"I know I- Nikki is just.." I let my sentence trail off.

"Like I said, you don't owe me an explanation. I just hope at some point you'll see that you see you deserve better."

I smiled weakly, struggling to see how he was wrong.

Daniel sensed my discomfort & kindly changed the subject. "How about we go grab a coffee or something before another fight breaks out & I have to go see to another bloody nose, huh?"

*Nikkis POV*

I leaned over one of the large music cases, discarded to the side of the stage, watching Ozzy do his thing. I marvelled at the thought that we had not long before played on the exact stage that Ozzy fucking Osbourne was now strutting around. My eyes wandered to the crowd, observing those that had screamed our names & sang along to our songs just hours before & I felt a dumb, dopey smile spread uncontrollably across my face.

My eyes locked with a beautiful, busty blonde in the front row & I regained my composure, winking at her & replacing my smile with the trademark smirk that I knew worked every time. She blushed scarlet & blew me a kiss as I chuckled to myself, wondering if there was a way to get her backstage.

My eyes carried on their journey, scanning the crowd, looking for more woman I could infatuate with a simple look, riding high on the success of the day, the attention & the recent offer of joining the Prince of Darkness on his next tour.

My gaze landed on an angel on the opposite wing to where I stood, throwing her head back in laughter so intoxicating, I was sure I could hear it over the roaring speakers, all the way across the stage. I got lost in her beauty for a moment, enjoying her smile, as he shy eyes flitted from the ground to the face of the person she was talking to, flipping her blonde hair over her shoulder in a subtle, yet flirtatious way. Beth laughed again, this time placing her hand on the chest of that asshole from the bar, the one that challenged me & told me I wasn't good enough for her. I felt my jaw tense at the sight of him resting his hand over hers, the way he rubbed his thumb across it gently as she spoke, all his attention on her face as he listened to what she had to say. Jealousy coursed through me hotly, causing me to jolt upright & turn away from them, as if it actually burned to watch.

"What the fuck is he doing here?!" I seethed to Tommy, turning back to them & pointing. "Did she invite that piece of shit?!"

Tom followed my finger & furrowed his brow, clearly not recognising the man Beth was now leaning towards in a way that made my stomach lurch & my fists ball up until my knuckles turned white.

"Who is it?!"

"It's that fucking pretty boy from the bar. She's invited him just to piss me off, to get back at me. How could she fucking do that, doesn't she know what today means for us?! And here she is, ruining it on purpose like the spoiled brat she is."

Vince shot me a sharp looking, warning me to carry on.

"Oh what, Vince?!" I spat, venomously.

"Honestly, who fucking cares, Sixx?! Let the girl enjoy herself, she's not ruining anything for anyone other than you & honestly, you fucking deserve it." He shot back.

"We invited her here, got her backstage & she thinks she can just bring some prick along with her for free?! Nah, she's not using us to impress some fucker & get her leg up, they're both fucking out of here."

I started marching off, ready to get their asses hurled out, when Micks firm palm on my chest stopped my tracks.

"Mars, get your fucking hand off me."

"Enough, Nikki." He said, quietly but unflinchingly.

"Sixx, just fucking let it go, we've all had enough," Vince jumped in. "The arguing between the two of you, its gotta stop. You fucked me over, got to screw the chick, what more do you want?! She's just a girl, move on like you always do. The constant love-hate thing is getting old, we're bored of it."

Tommy nodded slightly in agreement as Mick removed his hand. I glared harshly at them all, too stubborn to admit they were probably right, but also too petty to let it go.

"Fine, she can get her pretty boy fuck, what the fuck do I care?!" I lied, convincing no-one as I turned back to pretend to catch the last of Ozzys set.

But my eyes bore through the scene on stage & fixed on my girl across the way, her lips pressed against his, her hands in his hair. My mind flashed through all of the times I'd seen her kiss Vince & the jealousy I felt. But this was different, this felt worse. With Vince, it had an expiry date, but this..

I could really lose her to this guy, I thought.

My jaw clenched once again at the idea that someone could make her happy, that someone would get to enjoy every part of her. The simple suggestion that she might want someone so much that she would forget about me.

*Beths POV*

I hurried quickly to use the bathroom, excited to get back to talking to Daniel. As I entered the rank portable toilet, I cringed at the idea of sitting on something that god knows how many people had used that day. I went to grab a fistful of paper from the dispenser, but I cursed as my hand hit the empty cardboard tube left inside.

"C'mon..." I muttered, fumbling around in my purse for some tissues I could use to line the seat, but something else caught my eye, that made me stop dead.

My fingers rested gently on the tampon I always kept in my bag for emergencies & my brain scrambled to do the math.

Dread descending over me like a cloud threatening rain as I figured out the time it'd been since Nikkis little hit & run at my place.

"But we used protection," I whispered aloud to myself. But it didn't make sense, I was late. And I'm never late.

I practically fell out of the porta potty, my mind swimming with confusion & doubt, when strong, leather clad arms caught me.

"You ok there Lizzy? Had a bit too much to drink, have we?"

My eyes lifted to meet Nikkis, his expression amused, but with something else behind his green eyes that I couldn't quite place. He look strained, like he was perhaps forcing his usual shit eating smirk.

"Uh yeah, I'm fine Nikki, thanks." I mumbled, desperate to get away from him before he sensed something was really wrong.

But it was too late. "Beth, are you ok?" He asked again, this time concern evident in his voice.

"Nikki, I said I'm fine." I said, stronger this time, but a slight falter in my voice still gave me away. "I just need to go home, I'm sorry."

"Beth, what's happened?! Did that asshole do something to you? I swear to god, if he's laid a fucking hand on you, I'll kill him-"

"What?!" I puzzled, wondering who he was talking about. "Oh Daniel?" I didn't realise he'd seen us together, but that was another problem for another time. Nikkis jealousy was the least of my concerns right now. I had to be sure. I had to get out of here, go find a pharmacy & pray the test would be negative.

I couldn't be pregnant. Especially not by Nikki Sixx.

"Angel," He propped his fingers under my chin & lifted my face until our eyes met & I saw the silent distress on his face, "tell me what's wrong."

[lemon-sugarcoats-nothing]

🐝vent

My night was awful. It started out Okay; i was at my grandma's apartment to see my dad and we played some games. Came home to mom's car not being in it's spot. My brothers and I assume she went to go run an errand, so we go inside, find her boyfriend, and unwind from being out all day. I was dealing with friend drama at that point too.

Half an hour later my mom calls me and tells me what to make for dinner, because she's out at a local "Social club" (Bar, but members only) with a friend. I think, "Great, maybe she wont drink though. She's been going sometimes and only having one".

7:30 passes. At 8 my brother asks me when we should make dinner, neither of us are hungry so we postpone.

8:30 passes, we make dinner because it's getting late. While we're making the food, friend drama dies off and they start joking around in the gc -all good and at that point i was ready to have a relaxing end of the evening.

9:30 passes. My friend moves a virtual birthday party for an acquaintance up half an hour (10) so i get started doing dishes. While im getting ready to do them, i start hearing noises and voices in the "back room" (small room at the back of the house that has the back back door, connected to the kitchen through another door) but no one's coming in. I cant tell if they're crying, laughing or just talking, but someone kept leaning on the door. I waited.

9:45 my mom opens the door and stumbles in; i immediately notice she. is. drunk. Her face is flushed, she was having trouble walking in the door, and she was slurring her words. I dont remember what the first thing she said was, but shortly after her friend also walks in. Her friend was tall (pretty) and significantly less drunk, i dont even know if she was tipsy. But it was a bit of a relief she was here too. My mom went upstairs -struggling- her friend followed a minute after. They came back down after my mom gave her a tour of the house, and then they went to the backroom to talk.

So far, so good right?

I was still uncomfortable so i finish dishes and other night-time responsibilities (Feeding the rabbits and refilling their water), then take my computer and phone to my room to camp out till morning (and for the birthday call).

Sometime during beginning of the call (10:15ish?) i start to hear arguing downstairs. Now, my room is above the kitchen, i have a "back room" to my room and i can usually hear when people are arguing in that room, from p much anywhere in my room. Sound carries. I couldnt make out everything they were saying, but it was b a d , and at one point my mom came inside the house shouting, and up the stairs shouting, and slammed doors so hard it shook the walls of my room, "[friend's name] Fuck you, [boyfriend's name] Fuck you. FUCK ALL OF YOU". My friends on call all heard it.

So im trying not to have a panic attack while getting a link for everyone to watch the movie Birthday boy picked out, and while we watch the movie the argument is still going but downstairs or in mom's room i dont remember. I had one earmuff off on my headphones so i can listen if she starts coming to my room for an argument, i pulled up an audio recording app just in case, because at this point I'm scared of a repeat of 21st of last month.

At some point it dies down, my mom left briefly, came back and was still pissed off but not slamming doors, just muttering things i didnt make out. She never came to my room because i wasnt supposed to have my computer in my room past 11 (it died at 11:20 anyway, in the middle of the movie, sad) nor am i supposed to have my phone there ever (she never notices, im about to be 18 anyway, my mom stopped caring with my older brother when he turned 18).

I stayed in my room the whole night, door closed. I dont close my door unless im doing....things, or unless im scared of what's on the outside of my room. But this causes problems in the summer and winter because my room isnt temperature controlled; the backroom to my room is unfinished, theres a crack in the side wall and a big gap in the door going to it. Heating doesnt go to my room, so closing the door = closing out all the nice warm air. I was cold.

I also was supposed to clean the bathroom last night. I was going to do it after dishes and before going to the virtual party, but my brother got shouted at for opening the back room door while my mom was in it (He was trying to take out the trash), and i didnt want to have to deal with her drunk ass while asking if anyone needed to use the restroom before it gets taken over for 30 mins to get cleaned.

So yeah i had a bad night. Im exhausted, i was exhausted before the shit with my mom happened, Im exhausted after having a small panic attack, Im exhausted from trying to figure out what room my mom was in, I'm exhausted from holding my pee all night because i was scared i'd run into her, Im fucking. exhausted.