#because they have an alternative scene and a trans activism scene and at least 1 gay club and a labour movement and an anarchist movement

[wild-at-mind]

A weird thing I've noticed as someone living in England is how often people also living in England seem convinced their lives will improve massively if they just move to Wales or Scotland. Or sometimes further afield.

[sobeksewerrat]

Okay so- if you saw my aroace chr headcannon list, you probably saw Adam from Hazbin Hotel on there! It's been a while since I have written an essay, but honestly I really wanted to expand on my asexual Adam thought and @kiichu asked me to so here we go ;)

[ Just. Don't expect any actual thoughtful analysis. I am mostly just grasping at straws and projecting because I kin the dude ]

[ Oh yeah and I will reference the Trans Genesis AU a lot. Nope, Stanley and I did not abandon it. Sorry not sorry ]

First things first, let's look at his first appearance in episode 1.

Needless to say, he was a bit of an asshole. But something really stuck out to me.

In one of the scenes, he was recounting a date/one-night-stand he had to Charlie (because of course he was).

He clearly seemed to be describing the dinner date itself in detail, but he literally just caps it off with "and then we fucked, and it was awesome".

This line can be read in a few different ways, depending on your view.

1. They didn't actually fuck, the woman ditched him or didn't exist to begin with and he's lying to seem cooler.

2. It wasn't awesome (*at least for him, but yk could go both ways) and he wasn't about to go into detail about his less-than-stellar sexual encounter (I feel. Really uncomfortable writing this, I am too ace for this shit).

3. The logical explanation of the writers not wanting to include it for rating reasons and because of the episode's already short run time and also because we as the audience don't really need to know that. Though I think that if that were just that, a better alternative would've been that Adam either continues describing the date or starts describing the sex and either Lute or Charlie (or both) stop him.

For my interpretation of the ace Adam, we'll go with the second interpretation.

Allos love pointing out how "asexuals can still date/have sex" but they always neglect one thing: that's not exactly how sex-favourable and sex-neutral aces work.

I can't speak for everybody on the spectrum (especially since I am mostly repulsed), but wanting to have sex doesn't mean you feel sexual attraction.

So yeah this doesn't disprove him being asexual, though I am aiming for a very different interpretation.

Sex-repulsed Adam.

NOW, PLEASE HEAR ME OUT I KNOW I SOUND CRAZY!!

Ace men rarely get any representation, and a lot of men (especially cis men, but trans men too) don't realize they're ace or are actively in denial about it because of this thing called ✨toxic masculinity✨

I don't think it's too much of a hot take to say that Adam clearly falls into a lot of toxic masculinity stuff.

Being literally the first man, the original dick (or the original pussy if we're talking about the tgau), he is probably expected to uphold these harmful beliefs of masculinity or at least thinks he has to to be taken seriously (or be percieved as cis at least-).

Therefore, he's probably is in deep, deep denial of his asexuality and tries to cover it up by, well, sleeping around I guess (*hopefully not with human souls because i don't need any of the implications that come with that).

But that doesn't necessarily mean he enjoyed it, you know.

Now I don't wanna go too deep into this honestly quite depressing line of thought, so to keep it brief that's probably why he wouldn't go into detail about that one night stand- even though he totally seems like the type of guy who would talk about this stuff in excessive and unnecessary detail (can you tell I love torturing this guy. I mean if yk the TGAU you probably already know but shush).

That or because a lot of aces literally cannot talk about sex seriously. It has to be a joke or about an ao3 smut fic.

*ahem* Moving on-

The infamous "Now, I'm going to FUCK you" scene that every Adamsapple shippers love (no hate to Adamsapple shippers btw, except @roryheart fuck you Rory /lh silly (I love you buddy don't take this seriously)).

Just. Just look at his face when Lucifer says it.

It could just be pure confusion, which is quite understandable tbh.

Or we could go with the funny interpretation of Adam being so autistic and ace, he thought for a second that Lucifer was actually hitting on him this whole time and he just didn't notice. Purely because this has actually happened to me before and I wanna project-

Moreover, he looks lowkey disgusted by it and just attacks Lucifer immediately.

Whatever, now we get to the ✨angst potential✨ of ace Adam.

Elaborating on the bit of toxic masculinity from earlier, maybe he thinks that his aversion to stuff like is why both Lilith (and presumably Eve) cheated on him with Lucifer, because he wasn't a real man.

And if we wanna get really depressing, all we have to do is just remember that his only purpose was to have as many children with Eve (and previously Lilith) as possible to populate the Earth.

Yeah, sounds like a total nightmare scenario.

I have a few other ideas, but they're really half baked and not really well put together and stuff- idk I just think ace Adam is a cool idea.

Sorry if this wasn't exactly the essay any of you were looking for but I genuinely just think it'd be fun and kinda interesting to explore really.

Btw gonna make "sobek rants" exclusively for angry rants and gonna repurpose "brainingsewer" for essays and analysis and stuff. Not that anybody really cares about my tagging system.

[luckgods]

Why all the white guys in whump?

I got Inspired by a post asking that question, and here we are. Warning: long post ahead.

I think it’s due to a combination of factors, as things frequently are.

The preference for / prevalence of white male characters in fandom is well-known and has been examined pretty thoroughly by people already.

What’s worth noting for discussing this tendency in whump in particular is that the ‘whump fandom’ itself is not a ‘fandom’ in the traditional sense of being made of fans of one single source narrative (or source setting, like a particular comics fandom, or the Star Wars extended universe) with pre-existing characters. Although subsets of traditional fandoms certainly exist within the larger whump fandom, a lot of whump is based on original, ‘fan’-created characters.

So, given the tendency of ‘traditional’ fandoms to create stories disproportionately centered on white male characters due to the source material itself being centered on white male characters (and giving more narrative weight to them, characterizing them better, etc), if we say hypothetically that the whump fandom is split say 50/50 between ‘traditional’ fandom works and original whump works, you’d expect to see a higher number of works focused on white men than the demographics of the ‘traditional’ fandom’s source work would predict, but not as extreme of a divergence between the source material & the fanworks as the one you’d see if whump fandom were 100% based on popular media.

However, that doesn’t quite seem to be the case. Whump stories and art remain focused on overwhelmingly male and frequently white characters, which means that the tendency of the fandom to create stories disproportionately centered on white male characters cannot be ONLY explained by the source material itself being centered on white male characters (and giving more narrative weight to them, characterizing them better, etc).

And, having established the fact that whump writers & artists presumably have MORE control over the design of their characters than writers & artists in ‘traditional’ fandoms, we have to wonder why the proportions remain biased towards men, & white men in particular.

—

The race thing is pretty simple in my opinion. Mostly, it’s just another extension of the fanbase’s tendency to reflect the (predominantly US-American, on tumblr) culture it exists in, which means that, in a white-centric culture, people make artworks featuring white people.

There’s also the issue of artists being hesitant to write works that dwell heavily on violence towards people of color due to the (US-American) history of people of color being violently mistreated. I’ve actually seen a couple of posts arguing that white people SHOULDN’T write whump of nonwhite characters (particularly Black characters) because of the history of actual violence against Black bodies being used as entertainment, which means that fictional violence against Black people, written by white people, for a (presumed) white audience, still feels exploitative and demeaning.

I'm not going to get into all my thoughts on this discussion here but suffice to say that there's probably an impact on the demographics of whump works from authors of color who simply... don't want to see violence against people of color, even non-explicitly-racialized violence, and then another impact from white authors who choose not to write non-white characters either due to the reasons stated above, or simply due to their personal discomfort with how to go about writing non-white characters in a genre that is heavily focused on interpersonal violence.

Interestingly enough, there’s also a decent proportion of Japanese manga & anime being used as source material for whump, and manga-styled original works being created. The particular relationship between US-American and Japanese pop culture could take up a whole essay just by itself so I’ll just say, there’s a long history of US-Japanese cultural exchange which means that this tendency is also not all that surprising.

—

GENDER though. If someone had the time and the energy they could make a fucking CAREER out of examining gender in whump, gender dynamics in whump, and why there seems to be a fandom-wide preference for male whumpees that cannot be fully explained by the emphasis on male characters in the source text.

I have several different theories about factors which impact gender preference in whump, and anyone who has other theories (or disagrees with mine) is free to jump in and add on.

THEORY 1: AUTHOR GENDER AND PERSONAL EXPERIENCE.
 Fandom in general is predominantly female, although these days it might be more accurate to say that fandom is predominantly composed of cis women and trans people of all genders. However, pretty much everyone who isn't a cis man has had to contend with the specter of gendered violence in their real personal life. Thus, if we posit whump (and fandom more generally) as a sort of escapist setup, it's not hard to see why whump authors & artists might willfully eschew writing female whumpees (especially in the case of inflicted whump), because (as in the discussion of people of color in whump above), even violence towards women that is explicitly non-gender-based may still hit too close to home for people whose lives have been saturated with the awareness of gender-based violence.

THEORY 2: SICK OF SEXY SUFFERING.
 Something of an addendum to theory 1, it's worth noting that depictions of female suffering in popular media are extremely gendered (in that they specifically reflect real-life gender-based violence, and that said real-life violence is almost exclusively referenced in relation to female characters) and frequently sexualized as well. There's only so many times you can see female characters having their clothes Strategically Ripped while they're held captive, being sexually menaced (overtly or implicitly) to demonstrate How Evil the villain is, or just getting outright sexually assaulted for the Drama of it all before it gets exhausting, especially when the narratives typically either brush any consequences under the rug, or dwell on them in a way that feels more voyeuristic and gratuitous than realistic and meaningful. All this may result in authors who, given the chance to write their own depictions of suffering, may decide simply to remove the possibility of gendered violence by removing the female gender.

THEORY 3: AUTHOR ATTRACTION. 
I'll admit that this one is more a matter of conjecture, as I haven't seen any good demographic breakdowns of attraction in general fandom or whump fandom. That said, my own experience talking to fellow whump fans does indicate that attraction to the characters (whether whumpers, or whumpees) is part of the draw of whump for some people. This one partially ties into theory 1 as well, in that people who are attracted to multiple genders may not derive the same enjoyment out of seeing a female character in a whumpy situation as they might seeing a male character in that situation, simply because of the experience of gendered violence in their lives.

THEORY 4: ACCEPTABLE TARGETS.
 The female history of fandom means that there's been a lot more discussion of the impacts of depicting pain & suffering (especially female suffering) for personal amusement. Thus, in some ways, you could say that there is a mild taboo on putting female characters through suffering if you can't "justify" it as meaningful to the narrative, not just titillating, which whump fandom rarely tries or requires anyone to do. This fan-cultural 'rule' may impact whump writers' and artists' decisions in choosing the gender of their characters.

THEORY 5: AN ALTERNATIVE TO MAINSTREAM MASCULINITY.
 Whump fandom may like whumping men because by and large, mainstream/pop culture doesn't let men be vulnerable, doesn't let them cry, doesn't let them have long-term health issues due to constantly getting beat up even when they really SHOULD, doesn't let them have mental health issues period. Female characters, as discussed in theory 2, get to ("get to") go through suffering and be affected by it (however poorly written those effects are), but typically, male characters' suffering is treated as a temporary problem, minimized, and sublimated into anger if at all possible. (For an example, see: every scene in a movie where something terrible happens and the male lead character screams instead of crying). So, as nature abhors a vacuum, whump fandom "over-produces" whump of men so as to fill in that gap in content.

THEORY 6: AMPLIFIED BIAS.
 While it's true that whump fandom doesn't have a source text, it's also true that whump fans frequently find their way into the fandom via other 'traditional' fandoms, and continue participating in 'traditional' fandoms as part of their whump fandom activity. Bias begets bias; fandom as a whole has a massive problem with focusing on white male characters, and fans who are used to the bias towards certain types of characters in derivative works absolutely reproduce that bias in their own original whump works.

—

I honestly think that there is greater bias in the whump fandom than anyone would like to admit. Maybe I'm wrong, but it seems as though whump fans avoid introspection and discussion of the issue by bringing up the points I talked about in my previous theories, particularly discomfort with depictions of female suffering for amusement.

However, I think that, as artists, we owe it to ourselves and one another to engage in at least a small amount of self-interrogation over our preferences, and see what unconscious or unacknowledged biases we possess. It's a little absurd to argue that depictions of women as whumpees are universally too distressing to even discuss when a male character in the exact same position would be fine and even gratifying to the person making that argument; while obviously, people have a right to their own boundaries, those boundaries should not be used to shut down discussion of any topics, even sensitive ones.

Furthermore, engaging in personal reflection allows artists to make more deliberate (and meaningful) art. For people whose goal is simply to have fun, that may not seem all that appealing, but having greater understanding of one's own preferences can be very helpful towards deciding what works to create, what to focus on when creating, and what works to seek out.

—

GENDER ADDENDUM: NONBINARY CHARACTERS, NONBINARY AUTHORS. 
Of course, this whole discussion so far has been exclusively based on a male-female binary, which is reductive. (I will note, though, that many binary people do effectively sort all nonbinary people they know of into 'female-aligned' and 'male-aligned' categories and then proceed to treat the nonbinary people and characters they have categorized a 'female-aligned' the same way as they treat people & characters who are actually female, and ditto for 'male-aligned'. That tendency is very frustrating for me, as a nonbinary person whose gender has NOTHING to do with any part of the binary, and reveals that even 'progressive' fandom culture has quite a ways to go in its understanding of gender.)

Anyways, nonbinary characters in whump are still VERY rare and typically written by nonbinary authors. (I have no clue whether nonbinary whump fans have, as a demographic group, different gender preferences than binary fans, but I'd be interested in seeing that data.)

As noted above with female characters, it's similarly difficult to have a discussion about representation and treatment of nonbinary characters in whump fandom, and frankly in fandom in general. Frequently, people regard attempts to open discussions on difficult topics as a call for conflict. This defensive stance once again reveals the distaste for requests of meaningful self-examination that is so frequent in fandom spaces, and online more generally.

—

TL;DR: Whump is not immune to the same gender & racial biases that are prevalent in fandom and (US-American) culture. If you enjoy whump: ask yourself why you dislike the things you dislike— the answer may surprise you. If you create whump: ask yourself whose stories you tell, and what stories you refuse to tell— then ask yourself why.

[crossdreamers]

Has J.K. Rowling been misunderstood or is she really transphobic?

There is an interesting discussion on the Rowling supporting Forstater case over at CDL, where one member asked  the following pertinent question:

how would it be possible for someone to say 'we must be allowed...' without them being interpreted by commentators such as yourself as 'wanting to invalidate trans women'?  you close down respectful discussion by presuming an ugly motive, by seeking to disqualify any opinion other than 'transwomen are women, as much as ciswomen are' as being too offensive to be considered. having been thus insulted, gender-critical feminists are likely to retaliate with genuinely offensive responses, and the dialog gets still uglier. this is so typical of internet discourse. 

Here’s an edit of my response:

Rowling is invalidating trans women. The tweet is clearly in support of a TERF (trans-exclusionary radical feminist). She is even using TERF hash tags. So I am not presuming an ugly motive. It is clear and out in the open. 

I have been discussing trans issues with TERFs for some years now, and there can be no doubt whatsoever that they are aggressive transphobes who are actively trying to make the lives of trans women a living hell.

Deconstructing the tweet Here is the tweet as she wrote it:

“Call yourself whatever you like. Sleep with any consenting adult who'll have you. Live your best life in peace and security. But force women out of their jobs for stating that sex is real? #IStandWithMaya#ThisIsNotADrill. "

It is pretty clear what it means: 1. The first part is the traditional TERF pseudo-acceptance. "By all means dress up as women! We are liberal and open minded, after all. But you are not women." In other words: This is not in reference to a philosophical discussion about what constitutes womanhood, this is in reference to a political and cultural movement that is established to attack trans women. As we know, TERFs think trans men are deluded lesbian women, androphilic trans women are misguided effeminate trans men and gynephilic trans women are perverted "autogynephiliacs". There is no common ground that makes an open, tolerant and informed discussion possible here. 2. The second part is a TERF lie. Women are not forced out of jobs for stating that (biological) sex is real. One woman was forced out of her  job because she actively promoted the  idea that biological sex and gender is the same (which is not true, by the way) in order to invalidate and harass trans women.   And yes, forcing trans women to use men's bathrooms, stay in men's prisons, be excluded from the right sport teams and use male identity papers are deliberate and hostile acts meant to force them back into the closet. 3. #IStandWithMaya is a TERF hashtag, used to propagate the  view that trans women are men. The hashtag  refers to a court case Maya Forstater filed in London against her former employer — and which she lost. 

The judge concluded that this was harassment In a 26-page ruling, the judge wrote that Forstater is “absolutist in her view of sex, and it is a core component of her belief that she will refer to a person by the sex she considered appropriate even if it violates their dignity and/or creates an intimidating, hostile, degrading, humiliating or offensive environment.”Here's more about Forestater's opinions.

Slate writes:

Forstater’s contract with the Center for Global Development was not renewed due to a series of transphobic comments made in multiple forums. She repeatedly tweeted statements like, “I think that male people are not women. I don’t think being a woman/female is a matter of identity or womanly feelings. It is biology.” In a workplace Slack she wrote, “But if people find the basic biological truths that ‘women are adult human females’ or ‘transwomen are male’ offensive, then they will be offended.” 

Forstater also purposefully misgendered a nonbinary councilor on Twitter, and when they complained, she wrote, “I reserve the right to use the pronouns ‘he’ and ‘him’ to refer to male people. While I may choose to use alternative pronouns as a courtesy, no one has the right to compel others to make statements they do not believe.”

TERFs are not debating, they are waging a war

I am all for an open and fair discussion, if your opponent believes in at least some of the same fundamental values of democracy and an informed debate, but fundamentalists and extremists do not, and if that is the case they do not deserve my respect and patience. In Norway TERFs have published photos of the child of a trans friend of mine, one of the leading trans activists in the country, implying that she is a male child molester. This is not about having (or not having) a democratic debate; this is about defending trans people against bigots who threaten their right to be themselves, who threaten their families, their dignity and their health. As far as I am concerned, Rowling might as well has come out in support of the Klan. It is that bad.

Rowling has had the chance to explain herself

Let me add one more thing: Several LGBTQA sites and organizations have tried to get Rowling to elaborate on her tweet. They given her a chance to explain herself and present a more positive approach to trans people. She has said nothing, and refused all comments. And given all the criticism that is for me another clear sign that she is on the side of the TERFs. Please remember that the British feminist scene has become toxic because of the TERFs, much more so than in the US, where a new generation of compassionate intersectionalist feminists are dominating the debate.

You cannot force NGOs to hire bigots

Forstater worked in an organization called Center for Global Development. This is a non-government organization (NGO) working for the realization of the UN sustainability goals. They note that they are "committed to transparency, diversity, and professional and personal integrity." They "value mutual respect, a collegial work place, and a healthy sense of humor."

As I see it, you cannot force an NGO with an agenda of tolerance and inclusion to employ someone with the exact opposite values. You cannot, for instance, force an anti-racist civil rights organization to keep someone who is a racist or a nazi on board, nor can you force a feminist organization to hire a male misogynist. You can read the ruling here. As you will see the judge has concluded that Forstater's argument that sex is unchangeable is not a philosophical statement in this context, but harassment.

 I agree. 

Rowling is not stupid. She knows what she is doing. She knows how to read. This was a deliberate act from her side. Too bad.

Se also: J.K. Rowling’s betrayal of trans people is also a betrayal of her own books

[rivetgoth]

OC #1 - Hollywood California

Pinterest board ✨ Tag on OC blog

I wanted to start with Hollywood California because she’s one of my oldest OCs, although she’s obviously been through a lot of iterations. Really really loyal followers may remember her from the very first work I ever used her for back in 2016, a novel I did for Camp NaNoWriMo called Balthazar and California, although she’s been around since before that (Balthazar didn’t really survive nearly as long, though, but a lot of his early developmental concepts actually went into a different character of mine, Giovanni, who we’ll get to later on). Nowadays she resides in my main alternate reality futureverse which is the 2080s (instead of the 1980s, get it?), in the Fresno, California megalopolis, where she was born.

California is a trans woman. She’s in her early-mid twenties and heterosexual. She was originally from the poor outer ring of the city. She grew up the only child of a single mother and struggled throughout school, where she was a constant target of harassment. Her mother, while not necessarily meaning to be cruel, had no real way to support her or understand her and her overprotection drove her to lean more towards “just try to be more normal” rather than accept her and help her express herself. California’s frustration with being stifled in every aspect of life kept building until she was sixteen, when she ran away from home with no word to her mother. After becoming a talented shoplifter and thief she began amassing a collection of clothing she had never had access to in the past, and through nightclubs and bars she found a place where she could dress as she dreamed with less judgment, falling in love with the city’s underbelly nightlife. At the clubs she frequented she enjoyed making herself the star of the show, glamorous and glitzy. It was then that she picked up her name, choosing Hollywood California because “that’s where the movie stars used to live.” To keep up her glamorous lifestyle she would soon become involved in sex work, which for better or worse was quickly a profitable venture. As her income grew and her looks became more stunning, she caught the attention of Pandora, a wealthy drug dealer in the area. Pandora offered California a place to stay for as long as she wanted with heat, electricity, and air conditioning, so long as she paid rent, which she happily accepted. She moved in with Pandora as well as Pandora’s boyfriend Johnny, a shy boy with the face of a cherub and slicked back hair, always recognizable in his leather jackets. For a time being the three of them seemed like an inseparable trio, attending clubs every night, California and Pandora both doing their own work and raking in cash.

However, things took a turn for the worst when Johnny grabbed California in the middle of a club one night, dragged her out back, and drunkenly confessed his love for her, as well as the fact that Pandora had been viciously beating him for some time now. He revealed scars hidden with makeup, and begged California to help him. California, only seventeen at this point in contrast to Johnny’s twenty-two, knew that she was in over her head, but made a clumsy and hurried attempt to help Johnny by staging a plan to run away with him. It was soon revealed that this entire ordeal was overheard by Pandora, and in a fit of rage he murdered Johnny and framed California. California had no defense, and Pandora’s careful staging of evidence and tearful claims to the Street Patrol that a crazed transvestite junkie had murdered his lover was a case that she could not refute. It soon became clear that it would take a miracle to keep her from a lifetime in prison, if not much worse.

That “miracle” came in the form of Himmel Medicine (they’ll come up throughout my OC descriptions, trust me), which had just bought out the prison system in order to “partner” with the prisoners, giving reduced sentences in exchange for cooperating with them on experimentations for cutting edge surgeries. Presently, they were conducting a study on the brains of criminals, specifically those who had done something extreme such as murder, rape, etc. California was offered a simple choice, which was to agree to be apart of Himmel’s new study, or face capital punishment.

The thesis of the study was the suggestion that those who break laws simply struggle with internal wiring that gives them the ability to understand the importance of laws, and that simply rewiring one’s brain to make them more willing to conform to preexisting expectation will remove the desire to break rules. In short, suppressing free will in order to suppress resistance to law in order to suppress crime. For obvious reasons, Himmel’s interest in such research extended far beyond criminal activity, but it was a significantly more acceptable angle to announce the project with. Thus, California became an early test subject on the surgical restricting of free will, trying to medically alter her desire to commit a crime she had never committed in the first place. She spent years under Himmel’s control, and in the meantime, she was kept in a dormitory-type location along with others from similar medical and surgical experiments. It was there that, after a few years alone, she was assigned Angel Steel as her roommate - Angel is another OC of mine who many of you are probably familiar with, and he was now under Himmel’s “supervision” for reasons similar to her own, although he was being used for a different series of experiments. Between tests and operations, California was expected to be something of a high class prostitute for Himmel’s wealthiest donors and supporters, alongside Angel, so the two of them bonded over that, as well as the fact that both were transgender and around the same age, and California attached to Angel quickly as a sort of survival instinct, even going as far as to believe she had fallen in love with him, although how much of that was built out of coping with the trauma of it all is debatable.

California grew increasingly afraid of what the experiments were doing to her. Because the operations were all still experimental, they had not managed to suppress her free will yet, but with direct modification happening to her brain she could hardly even tell what was changing, and she feared that she was losing control of herself and what she knew to be true. She knew she would need to escape. When she discovered Angel was making his own plans to run away she ended up blackmailing him in order to force him to let her accompany him, telling him that she would report him to Himmel’s authorities if he refused. Angel bitterly allowed her to come, and the two made their escape together, leaving Fresno entirely and taking up residence in the Outskirts, the furthest the buses will travel outside of the city before turning back around. This is where we find her (and Angel) at the beginning of my novel, so I don’t wanna say much more about that storyline for the time being, since a lot will be revealed then :)

As a result of the various and intensive brain surgeries California went through she was left as more or less the equivalent of what’s going on with Ella Enchanted, although not quite as extreme. She struggles to not follow orders set for her, although she is self aware and can fight against it, it just takes a lot of mental effort. On a physical level she’s left with a metal plate on the side of her head, think Chop Top from Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, although she covers it with wigs. She kind of has this endless battle with her own autonomy and sense of self and has to fight to keep a grip on who she is and what she believes in, although it’s something that, over the course of her narrative, she improves on.

California is fascinated by old fashioned glamour, as her name implies she’s extremely interested in golden age cinema, as well as the New Romantics of the late 70s-early 80s. She considers herself a new age New Romantic. She speaks in a Cockney accent and she can be very loud and excitable to the point that people read her as obnoxious sometimes. Her brash nature comes in part from her attempt at fighting back against what she knows has happened to her, wanting to be loud and filterless and uncontained to prove that she’s still her own person. She always loved making a scene and capturing people’s imaginations, but now it’s as much survival instinct as it is enjoyment. She still carries a lot of the weight of trauma with her, blaming herself for Johnny’s death and having to work through the lingering effect of the years stuck at Himmel (both the obvious surgical impact as well as the trauma of the whole ordeal). She’ll openly speak her mind or be heavily sarcastic to the point that it can hurt others, although she’s a genuinely well-intentioned person with no actual desire to hurt anyone, she just over compensates by speaking unfiltered a lot of the time. She’s one of my few OCs who I would say is genuinely a good person, or at least genuinely wants to be, and will put aside her own safety to help others in need. She saves Giovanni’s life at one point despite hardly knowing him and having no reason whatsoever to trust him.

She loves the color teal, and she loves glitter and pearls. She drinks too much but she avoids hard drugs most of the time at this point. She gets frequent migraines. She loves new wave pop music and dancing. She believes in magic but she hasn’t quite figured out what to do about that. She wears an empty heart locket around her neck that Johnny gave her long before the events that transpired the night that he was killed. She goes by “Cal” for short (no one calls her Hollywood).

California is a special OC to me. Her hardships mirror some personal stuff in my life and she’s been through a ton of change and development. I’m proud of how far she’s come. Her backstory is rough but with an outcome that makes me really happy.

[darkmasterofcupcakes]

To your post: do 1. Glimmer and 2.Bow :)

(It’s been a little bit since I got this ask, so if you wanted it for a different meme, just let me know)

Glimmer:

Favorite thing about them: I feel like there’s a lot that I admire about Glimmer, but one of the biggest things is just the fact that she is a very determined person who is willing to push herself if that’s what it takes to do what she feels is right, especially if it means helping defend her home and her friends. Yes, that mindset can backfire on her, but I have to appreciate the idea behind it, at least. 

Least favorite thing about them: While it can be entertaining, I do hope that she will learn to really start thinking more before just jumping into things. Yes, so far, it’s worked out fairly well for her, but given the type of situation and environment she’s living in, it’s only a matter of time until her tendency to do things without really thinking too much about it - or, more accurately, often letting her emotions get the better of her, is really going to get her into a lot of trouble. 

Favorite Line: Not so much a line, but I always love the dialogue in her introductory scene, but since I’m gonna assume I can’t cheat here, I’m gonna go with a line from a bit later. “She stationed me all the way out there because it’s too remote to ever get attacked, but then it did! And it was my one chance to prove that I can do this. But she acts like I can’t do anything because I’m ‘just a princess’.”

brOTP: Her and Adora, for sure. I’ve actually come to realize that I personally see their relationship as being very much like that of siblings, especially in the second and third seasons. Plus, their dynamic is just amazing. I also love her and Frosta’s dynamic in season two, and hope we might get more of that. It’s fun to see Glimmer being somewhat protective of Frosta, as well as frustrated with her at times. And obviously I love her relationship with her mother like crazy.

OTP: I don’t think anyone who follows me will be at all surprised when I say that the answer for this question is Glow/Glimbow. Actually, as of right now, Bow is the only character I really ship Glimmer with in a seriously romantic way. I just don’t really see her as being interested in anyone else in that way, based on what I’ve seen in the show up to this point. 

nOTP: Gotta be perfectly honest and say Glitra, or any ship involving Glimmer and Catra. I’m just not a fan of those kinds of shipping dynamics, and while I could see them eventually becoming friends, that’s really all I could see them being. And even that I think would take a while for them to go from basically just tolerating each other for Adora’s sake, to actually kind of liking each other…but still getting on each other’s nerves a lot of the time.

Random headcanon: She wasn’t born with her hair sparkles, but they are still genetic and can be passed down to any children she might have. The sparkles are also like dalmatian spots, where they weren’t visible when she was born, but showed up later, specifically they started showing up around her first birthday. 

Unpopular opinion: I guess outside of shipping stuff, there’s the fact that I am really not looking forward to a potential “Dark Glimmer” storyline, and while I get the feeling it’s going to happen, I genuinely hope that rather than give her a full-on villain arc, the most that happens is that she becomes a bit more morally gray and her perceptions of good and bad are tested more, to the point where she starts to lose her mindset that people are pretty much only good or bad, and that’s it. I’m hoping that she becomes more of a well-intentioned extremist, where she does genuinely want to do what she feels is good, but makes some bad decisions to do it. 

Song I associate with them: I’m honestly blanking on this one, but if anyone wants to send me a song they think fits Glimmer, I’ll definitely listen to it, and possibly change this answer. But, for now, I gotta admit to not really having an answer.

Favorite picture of them:

Bow:

Favorite thing about them: The fact that he honestly seems to care about pretty much everyone, including people who are technically his enemies? I mean, obviously he has limits to his kindness, and will attack people who hurt his friends, but when not actively fighting, you do have to love that he genuinely seems to care about pretty much everyone he meets. Probably the best example being how seems to try and act friendly with Catra when he and Glimmer have her captive…until she shoves him off a cliff, at least.

Least favorite thing about them: Honestly, right now, just the fact that we really don’t know that much about him, despite him being one of the main characters? He’s in basically every episode up to this point, and yet there’s still a lot about this guy that feels like a total mystery, even after we got basically a whole episode that revolved around learning more about him. I love this boy, and I want to know more about him - seriously hoping we get another episode about him in the upcoming seasons. 

Favorite Line: There’s a lot of lines from him I love, but this might be one of my favorites, partly because of the context…and partly because I am pure Glow trash. “Glimmer, you know everything about me - the real me.I act like someone I’m not with my family because the truth would hurt them.”

brOTP: I really like him and Adora, because they really do have a cute dynamic, that I see as kind of toeing the line between best friends and almost like siblings. But I also would love to see him and Entrapta interacting more, since I feel like there are hints that they’d be pretty good friends if they were able to spend more time together that doesn’t involve Bow trying to get Entrapta to realize she’s messing with things she shouldn’t be messing with. They can bond over their interests of inventing things. 

OTP: Him and Glimmer, of course. I have such a soft spot for friends-to-lovers ships, and these two are just so adorable even without that being a factor. How could I not absolutely adore them together?

nOTP: I mean, it’s kind of hard for me to really name a NOTP for him? Like, I prefer him with Glimmer over basically any other character, but even if I’m not a big fan of a lot of alternative ships, I don’t really have a problem with them? I guess maybe him and Catra as well? If only because I don’t think they’d be compatible that way, since I don’t think Catra would be interested in men, at all. 

Random headcanon: While he didn’t actually go to school for it, he does actually know a fair amount of history, partly just from the fact that most of the people in his family are historians, and partly because when he was growing up, he would occasionally look up information on subjects that interested him…though obviously he hid what he was actually looking up whenever he read about things like pirates or technology. 

Unpopular opinion: I guess just the fact that I don’t headcanon him as trans? Obviously I have no issues if he is canonically proven to be trans, or the fact that people have that headcanon. But, as far as my own interpretation, and my stories are concerned, I do headcanon him as having been born male, and just being sensitive, and liking some more traditionally feminine interests. 

Song I associate with them: Same thing as I said about Glimmer - nothing is really coming to mind at the moment, so I’m gonna leave this one open for now.

Favorite picture of them:

Send me a character

[unfortunate-rp]

Congratulations, ASH! You have been accepted as your desired character, NORA SANDERS with the approved FC change to Ivory Aquino. I am so excited to have Nora here and I love the headcanons you came up with. I can’t wait to see what happens next with her character. Please be sure to complete the steps listed on the NEW MEMBER CHECKLIST and send in your account within the next 24 hours.

Well, young lady, have you been good to your mother?

OOC INFORMATION

Name: Ash

Age: 26

Pronouns: She/Her

Time zone: AZ (we’re our own time zone due to not observing daylight savings time so currently we’re on PST but on the next time change we’ll be on MST)

Activity Level (Please give a number from 1-10 and an explanation): 7 – I work full time and then I’m also in grad school, so those take up my time before rping.  That being said, I should still be able to do at least one round of replies per night, if not more.

Tumblr account (for contact purposes): REDACTED

How did you find us?: The Bob Morley Tag

Triggers: REDACTED

CANON CHARACTER APPLICATION

Desired Character: Nora Sanders

Why did you choose this character?: I know that this sounds kind of cliché but I feel like I was drawn to Nora.  She was the first bio that I noticed on the character page, she was the bio that I kept reading and rereading over and over.  I like the way that she’s oblivious (for the time being) to all sides of the VFD. I love that she’s a psychologist and a writer and is able to do both.

Gender & Pronoun: Trans Female, She/Her

Sexual Orientation: Panromantic, Demisexual

Secondary Character Preference: Rebecca Leghari

What headcanons or plans do you have for this character?:

Nora’s series of novels are all psychological thrillers.  Each one takes place in the same worlds, however each one also has a different main character.  Typically the main character of a book will be a minor character in the book before it, and Nora tries to give hints as to which of the minor characters it will be.

Due to the fact that she works two different jobs, Nora has become a bit of a coffee addict.  Most of the time she averages four hours of sleep a night, as she’ll come home from a day working with clients to writing as a way of relaxing for the day.

Nora chose her name because she saw it on a patient file once and fell in love with the name.  However, it was after she transitioned that she found out that it means light.  She finds it ironic, because she doesn’t exactly see herself as a light to anyone and thinks that the name might be too cheerful – and yet knows at the same time that it fits her perfectly and she wouldn’t want to change a thing.  

Nora may have based her first novel on her time at the Heimlich Hospital and her time working with the Volunteers Fighting Disease. It also happens to be her best-reviewed novel to date.

Nora absolutely loves crossword puzzles and tries to do the one in the newspaper every day. It’s the only part of a newspaper that she actually enjoys.

Do you want any additional connections for your desired character that you’d like us to add to their bio?: N/A

Anything Else?: I would like to use the alternate FC of Ivory Aquino.

WRITING SAMPLE

The clacking of the typewriter was such a familiar sound to Nora that sometimes when she stopped typing, she could still hear the keys as if they were narrating her life.  And at the moment, the keys were telling her that it was time to go to bed, and the clock that she kept on the wall of the writing room in her house was ticking in agreement.  She was well aware that it was two o’clock in the morning, just like Nora was well aware that she was going to have to wake up at 6:30 in order to get to her office on time.  With a sigh (or was it a yawn?) Nora glanced at the page and the unfinished scene that she was working on.  It was common that she got wrapped up in the stories that she wrote, just as if she were living in them herself.

And now she couldn’t stop.

She couldn’t stop writing because the adrenaline was coursing through her veins, because her heart was racing a thousand beats per second because despite being the writer she had no idea what her characters were going to do next.  And she needed to find out.  That was all that writing was to her – a mystery that despite being formed in her mind she had to write in order to find out the ending.  Nora knew that it would have some sort of tragic ending – it was the same with all of her books – and yet she still didn’t know what the tragedy would be.  And Nora was itching to find out.

Except once she looked again at the clock she saw that it was now three o’clock and with a sigh, she finished the paragraph that she was typing and started making her way towards the bedroom.  Each step brought her down from her rush and into the typical melancholy regret that greeted Nora every time that she started to get ready for bed.  Once again, she didn’t review her patient files the night before so that she’d actually be prepared in the morning.  Once again, she had thought that it was an excellent idea to brew a pot of coffee at ten o’clock at night and was still feeling the buzz of the caffeine.  Once again, she hadn’t written as much as she had wanted to write and was left uneasy at what might happen next in her fictional world.

Sighing, Nora slipped on the oversized shirt that acted as a set of pajamas and slid into her sheets, her eyes focused on the ceiling as she tried to let her mind shut down for the night.  Logically she knew that she was going to be feeling this writing session in the morning.  The human brain needed at least four hours of sleep a night to fully function, and she wasn’t about to get that.  But it wasn’t the first time, nor would it be the last time that it happened.  And while it was true that she could sleep in another hour, Nora knew that it was necessary to review her notes and her patient files before going into the office.  She could put her own self-care on the back burner until the weekend because everyone that Nora worked with had more to worry about than she ever would.  And with a true yawn, Nora allowed herself to go to sleep – knowing that the morning would be coming all too soon.

[lordofsunshadowandsailor]

story replies

my-simension replied to your photo “lordofsunshadowandsailor: The recent freedom of spending his days on…”

Great pic, the room looks real!

It almost felt real when I was taking the pics… I could feel the steam coming from the showers, and the smell of their sweaty clothes impregnated with chlorine from the swimming pool, and humidity on old wood and papers, rusty metals and greasy wall tiles… Still, none of this gets into the text, for it is more about Tobio and his struggles than the sites where his struggles happen…

my-simension replied to your photo “lordofsunshadowandsailor: Tobio, brought up in the fear of God,…”

I love that towel around his hip OO

the towel is @venusprincess-simblr and it can be found HERE

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “And from the top of the wall – tall like no other building he ever saw...”

Oh!!! Time to make a coffee and kick back with your story :D

Love this image... It feels like you actually have a book of mine in your hands... Maybe someday :)

simblu replied to your photo “In his dream, recurring dream, one which follows him from the first...”

Ah..so beautiful

Thank you dear!

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “In his dream, recurring dream, one which follows him from the first...”

This is Alvar?

Nevermind - I misunderstood the first sentence.

Interestingly, I have rewritten this sentence a few times, and alternated Tobio’s name in each one of the three available positions... Maybe my choice did not leave it clear from the start who the dream belongs to, and who it is about...

simblu replied to your photoset “Like a sleepwalker, up and down massive dunes he travels across the...”

You know, I realize, only because you've told us, that English is not your native language..but one would NEVER know this from the masterfully poetic way you write this story.

Thank you dear. But I guess I’ll always feel insecure in English. I have no intimacy with the language, and I know it. But I guess I feel insecure about my writing even in my own idiom, and I guess that is a writer’s thing -- and a good thing too, as long it feels challenging and doesn’t keep one from writing!

simblu replied to your photoset “Like a sleepwalker, up and down massive dunes he travels across the...”

also, if I may be stoopid..this is post #69 for your story..i think certain of your readers..not me..were expecting something "commemorative" of this number.

This is the second #69 of this story, since I restart from #00 with every new chapter. But I do understand you, since we left Alvar and Tobio making out at #66, and declarations-of-drama raised the expectations about post #69... I wasn’t going to make Tobio’s dream last so long, be just a few pictures in the update of their encounter, but you know me... The pictures from the desert sequence looked nice, and I love going into the inner world of my characters more than anything, and we’ve seen the result here. 

We’ll have something sexier now, but an actual 69 was never intended for Tobio and Alvar! But there will be other #69 posts along the story, and who knows what might happen with other characters?

declarations-of-drama replied to your photoset “Like a sleepwalker, up and down massive dunes he travels across the...”

Yeah a great interpretation of a dream. Lovely work x

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “And yet, in his dream, recurring dream, Tobio keeps walking like a...”

This needs somebody to do a dream reading :d

This is Tobio tentatively applying  Dr. Freud’s revolutionary techniques of interpretation of dreams, that he has just read about, to try to understand and reveal his unconscious desires and thoughts... But I know even less than Tobio, so let’s wait for his own conclusions...

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “Scattered in this desert of his lay several ruins, of houses he...”

Poor tormented Tobi

I agree. And since part of his experience is based on my own feelings, in a certain time of great torment in my own life, I totally empathize with him.

omgdoubleume replied to your photo “With years of dreaming, the parched landscape of his desert  – and the...”

Aww.. I love this part

And to think this part was never planned to happen! I was going to share Tobio’s dream in a paragraph, and the picture would be of Tobio and Alvar making out... But I decided to try photographing his dream, and this was the outcome. I’m happy that you like it!

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “With years of dreaming, the parched landscape of his desert  – and the...”

Sadist Hosts! Wow, amazing writing techniques here x

Tobio is a hostage of his own destructive feelings :(

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “Until one day – for it is constantly daytime in his dream – for the...”

Until he could go on no longer. . . The wall represents the edge of his universe - it stops him from escaping the desert?

Truth is... I visualized Tobio’s dream, and then, with TS3 elements,  just took some screenshots of it, with the poses and CC I had already installed... 

But I must say I am not sure what these symbolic things mean. Is it too crazy to say I just wrote it down? Almost as words were being dictated? And somethings I can’t interpret or clarify since they are not clear for Tobio himself... I don’t feel like the almighty creator when I write, but much more like a vehicle to the story... I am Tobio in this scene, and his confusion is, to some extent, mine too. 

So as a reader you can interpret it as you like, and it will be correct, too!

simblu replied to your photo “It was then, for a while, that he started going to bed actually...”

Wondering if you have ever engaged in lucid dreaming....where one learns to control dream scenarios while still immersed in them. This sounds like that may be happening with the new start point of the dream.

Have you? I did some Dream Yoga -- and Goggle tells me “Tibetan Dream Yoga is the original form of lucid dreaming documented for at least 1,000 years.” So I guess I did... But Tibetan is not the form of Buddhism which I used to practice -- Zen was --, and it did not last longer than a retreat I took with a Tibetan master... 

It’s interesting that you have mentioned it, for I intend to get Alvar involved with Tibetan Buddhism -- I have already mentioned it en passant, the period of time he spent in Sikkim --, but not Tobio, so maybe I’m mixing things in this dream?

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “It was then, for a while, that he started going to bed actually...”

*passes a rope*

Love that  :D  But as you have already seen, there was a much easier way up reserved for Tobio...

simblu replied to your photo “Impassable it appears to be, as he stands paralyzed at its bottom. ...”

Reminiscent of a de Chirico..those colors, the lone figure..

You’re very right and that’s a lovely association, though I didn’t think of his paintings while creating this scene... For LoSSS, I’m taking many references from cinema, and I was thinking a bit of Bertolucci’s The Sheltering Sky, and the wonderful plateau scene with Kitty and Port... Have you watched it? I’m even listening to Sakamoto’s soundtrack in my mind right now!

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “Until the day – several instances of his recurring dream further on –...”

This actually gave me Goosebumps when I realised the picture! Wow! x

So much wonderful CC enabling us to create these scenes, isn’t it?!

simblu replied to your photo “A dam. <   previous        next  >”

Sorry, the first thing i thought was "oh Damn!"

And I always have to think which is which before I write any of those words down :)

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “A dam. <   previous        next  >”

Oh!! How symbolically perfect for Tobi!!! I love where this is going x

This scene is vaguely based on a dream I have actually dreamed, but that I still haven’t used in my fiction, so I won’t share it yet... I’m so glad you like it!

danjaley replied to your photo “Looking back from the top of the thick wall on which he stands, Tobio...”

I love this picture - I can almost feel the wind and the sunshine and the rustling of feathers.

I love this picture too -- in fact, for once I am satisfied -- with most of this whole sequence! Those are lovely sensations you describe, thanks for sharing it!

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “Looking back from the top of the thick wall on which he stands, Tobio...”

How does this dream equate to his personal life? I am guessing that his recent activity with Alvar has shown him a keyhole peep to his passions behind his shame? A huge ocean of desires he has to constantly hold back?

I have brought this dream of Tobio’s into the text in the moment of his making out with Alvar -- but he has been dreaming it since adolescence, and his “activity” with Alvar is just too recent -- in fictional terms, it is currently going on, still -- to bear any influence of that yet... In the next sequence I’ll try to link both things and tenses, though.

An interpretation to it has been provided by @willky12, and I could have not said it any better: “Recurring dreams on deserts and walking through endless desert represents torment and struggle in ones self. Finding the ocean or a body of water represents a relief, a change for the better, or an awakening within. All this is very true of Tobio and fit perfectly with the story.”

Like I said above, I have just written this passage, and probably many readers are better skilled to interpret and understand it,  a whole lot more than myself!

simblu replied to your photo “Water with no end. Above it hovers restlessly the quaintest legion of...”

When you referenced the Duino Elegies (#1) a few days back, I wondered how that would work into your story..

In the end, I did not include any mention on Rilke in the text, for I thought it did not suit Tobio, who is not into Literature at all. I think of him as a techinical and yet practical person, and that reflects on his choice of readings. 

But that first sentence from the first Elegy has stayed with me from the first time I read it -- for it was so meaningful to me, translating into lyrical words my own moments of desperation -- and it was the inspiration for the visual rendition of this part of Tobio’s dream.

omgdoubleume replied to your photo “Water with no end. Above it hovers restlessly the quaintest legion of...”

Soo.. it's an angle.. of desire :3 umm~ I was wrong everyone

There is no absolute right or wrong, dear! Tobio sees them as Angels of Desire, but also as warriors... So you might see them as you like, and bring a new interpretation to my text. 

I don’t pretend to consciously know everything about my characters, and have the final word on any of them!

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “Water with no end. Above it hovers restlessly the quaintest legion of...”

OMG! Perfection! DEADLY PERFECTION! But I would have to take the risk and go up to that main Angel in the front and ask about those AWESOME PANTS HE HAS ON and where I can download such a BULGE!!! :D

Deadly perfection is a term Tobio could use, too! 

The angels are using Lady FrontBum’s Metallic Swimsuit, and though it is bulgy enough, it can always be improved with Photoshop, I guess (actually, the intention in editing is to give them a little variation, and not necessarily increase their size)

simblu replied to your photoset“Without being noticed by them, who are absent-mindedly engaged in...”

Marvelous...

Marvelous is getting so many and enriching comments from you! Thank you so much!

declarations-of-drama replied to your photoset “Without being noticed by them, who are absent-mindedly engaged in...”

Wow, how his brain has been shaped by his circumstances. I totally think I get what you are doing here - his subconscious dreams resonate from deep suppression, too fearful to even face them almost? Too perfect to comprehend? The hidden desert is almost comfortable for him? The force of these Angels and what they represent must be gargantuan to him!

That is pretty much my understanding, too. In everyday life, these angels of deadly perfection are his colleagues, the athletes he works with, and any man really, capable of arousing Tobio’s desire... Though as an oneiric representation the men might be a lot bigger and more intense than in life -- Gargantuan, as you put it! And the desert, which is his own life lived under repression, though uncomfortable to the point of torture, is still better than incurring in sin, or going with the angels, or diving into the dam...

I almost mentioned that the God Tobio fears, the God of Catholicism, Protestantism and Judaism, is a God that emanates from the deserts and arid, impoverished regions where these peoples lived in the very beginning of their religions -- and their God and religion bear many of the most harsh characteristics of the desert where they sprung up...

There is so much to bring into each passage, but the main purpose is to be entertaining, and pertaining to the story and the characters, and not some treaty on religion, or so I have tried...

my-simension replied to your photoset “Without being noticed by them, who are absent-mindedly engaged in...”

Spectacular!!! O

Thank you so much dear for your enthusiasm!

declarations-of-drama replied to your photoset “Torn between unsatisfactory possibilities of escape – diving into the...”

. . . . . no words. I feel bad for him, truly!

And Tobio appreciates it... In dreams, and in his life, he says the same prayer, to the same wrathful God, with the same fear of Hell and damnation... That Freud has seen parallels in conscious and unconscious behaviors is really insightful, and Tobio is beginning to profit from this knowledge that has been recently shared with mankind (this is the 1910s, let’s not forget it)

willky12 replied to your photo “That’s when Tobio falls – from the top of the wall to return to...”

Such torment. I wonder if you researched recurring dreams for this update? There is a lot of evidence in this type of recurring dream that relates to Tobio very well.

 Like I said in our exchange of messages, I did not research anything -- of what I first named “recurrent dreaming”, and that thanks to you has been corrected to recurring... I wrote this intuitively, or simply trying to see it from Tobio’s perspective... I believe to have read that water is a symbol for sexuality, probably in Jung’s Man and his Symbols, that I have leafed through two decades or more ago... Truth is I did not prepare myself properly to write this passage, and I could never have interpreted the symbols in Tobio’s dream like you did. 

Thank you so much!

hyperkaos replied to your photo “That’s when Tobio falls – from the top of the wall to return to...”

I've sat here for 10 minutes and I can't think of anything. That alone should speak volume darling. ♥

To be honest, I did not understand what you said -- which is always a good reminder that English is an endless source of mysteries and misunderstandings for me! But I did get the “darling” part, so thank you :)

simblu replied to your photo “That’s when Tobio falls – from the top of the wall to return to...”

BRAVO! So well done. I've commented along the way... perfect symbolism, poetically rendered.

Thank You so much for all the comments, they are very precious to me, and bring a lot of fresh points of view into my writing. I hope to have responded satisfactorily to them!  Thank You so much!

declarations-of-drama replied to your photo “That’s when Tobio falls – from the top of the wall to return to...”

What a fantastic update that was! I enjoyed it immensely. Now I need to do what my lazy brain stopped me from doing when I first started following and taking interest in your work - go back to post #1.

Thank You so much! Your comments are wonderfully nuanced and rich, and they help me rethink my own story and characters. So precious, thank you!

I do believe you have already seen and read post #1 of LoSSS, which actually is #00, for you have already commented on it!

my-simension replied to your photo “That’s when Tobio falls – from the top of the wall to return to...”

Agree, this is incredible!

Thank you so much, dear. This post, in chronological order of comments and of scenes, opens and closes with you :)

[insidethemagickingdomrpg]

Congratulations KATT! You’ve been accepted as JOSS ROSE who’s the newest cast member at Disney World. Please complete everything on the CHECKLIST and send in your account within 24 hours. We look forward to having you on board!

★ OUT OF CHARACTER

name/alias: Katt

preferred pronouns: they/them

age: 21

time zone: EST

activity level (1-10): 6-7/10 ;  I’m currently in college and in the end of April and beginning of May, due to finals, my activity might drop

anything you want to add: I don’t know if you have a trigger list, but can I request flashing gifs and mentions of mental illness (specifically eating disorders, self harm, and suicide) be tagged accordingly? Flashing gifs tend to make the dash hard to scroll as I have migraine style headaches and they’re made worse by anything with a strobe-effect/quick flashing

★ IN CHARACTER

desired character: Joss Alex Rose

faceclaim: Melissa Benoist

characters pronouns: they/them & he/him

age/birth order: 24 / Oldest

birthday: September 2nd

hometown: Plant City, Florida

sexual orientation: fluid

ships: Joss/chemistry

anti ships: Joss/forced

apartment choice: apartmen 2; studio

job choice: costume design

three positive traits: creative, driven, independent

three negative traits: fickle, withdrawn, jaded

quote: “Everyone is born to die. We might as well make the most of it.”

★ TWEETS

@jossisarose: if I had a dollar for every time someone misgendered me I wouldn’t have to work

@jossisarose: I think I need to invest in a new sewing machine, mine might have just caught fire… #designerproblems #bymightimeandid

@jossisarose: I understand I have feminine features, doesn’t discredit my gender or my pronouns, give me a fucking break

★ BIOGRPAHY

TW: instance of misgendering and reference to Joss’s dead name early on

Joss Rose wasn’t always who they are now. Once upon a different time, Joss was Jocelyn and “she” was troubled. Or so people liked to think. Born the oldest of a set of twins, to a single mother, Joss never really fit into gender norms, or societal norms, for that matter. Whether it was going without a bra until long after most girls started wearing one, a disinterest in anything outside of their art, or an increasingly morbid sense of humor, Joss was an outcast from day one. Small town life was often the bane of Joss’s existence.

As a child, Joss enjoyed Little Mermaid, but more importantly, Little Mermaid II: Return to the Sea. Joss related to Melody on a level that they didn’t quite relate to Ariel. It sparked a love of all things mermaid, and all things Disney, in them and their art portrayed this. Their mother, Millie, taught them to sew and crochet, two activities that seemed to be the only “feminine” thing about their interests. They would alternate between drawing and painting to crochet and sewing, often designing their own clothes.

They weren’t necessarily nerdy, but they had their loves. Mostly it was things like Harry Potter, Doctor Who, or other such media, but they also had a love of sports, predominantly hockey. They were a huge Tampa Bay Lightning fan and would often go to games when they had the chance. They were an excellent runner and ran track all throughout middle and high school.

However, in school they often struggled with anything involving other people, but especially changing for PE and track. The idea of getting changed in front of other people unnerved them. It was when they felt most vulnerable, most exposed. It was also when they felt the least like themself. Seeing a female body under typically masculine clothing really hurt, but living in a small town, that was only known for a festival based on strawberries that often invited country and Christian musicians, being anything but straight and cisgender was asking for trouble. More trouble than Joss needed.

In high school, as their sense of self wavered further they withdrew into themself, their passion for costume design became even more apparent. They started cosplaying, attending conventions all over the state of Florida, as a way to be themself, without being themself. They tended to cosplay male characters, taking pride in their ability to pass a male, but refusing to think anything of it, in terms of how they felt. It was this that led them to find a college with a crafts department, where they could major in costume design.

With an early acceptance letter to Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh, PA, Joss took off. Moving from small town life, to big city, took Joss by surprise. They were in a place where people who weren’t straight and cisgender were more widely accepted, which made trying to find themself much easier. As a freshman, Joss began to experiment, with a lot of things. Between sexuality and gender identity, they found out a lot more about themself than they were ever expecting. This included the realization that they were trans.

For Joss, the idea of being anything but a female made perfect sense. They tried a lot of things over the next few years, in an attempt to figure out just who they were. They knew they didn’t identify fully as male, and definitely had no intentions to transition, but for the longest time couldn’t figure out just how they felt. Outside of gender being a completely social construct, they needed a label. It came in the form of the terms “genderqueer” and “non-binary” as well as the idea that there was an area between female and male. To Joss, being both agender and male made more sense and they quickly began to explore it as a full identity.

By the time Joss graduated, they had legally changed their name, going with a gender neutral name, as a way to alleviate the pressure from being misgendered, which quickly became a sore spot. Given their more feminine features, being called by male pronouns was a difficult thing to get across, especially given their decision to not transition. When they discovered the singular they as a pronoun, Joss jumped at the chance to use it. While it’s still hard to get people to use it, and they often encourage people to use male pronouns if unable to use it, the singular they felt right.

Returning home to Florida after college was a bit of a hassle. Small town life didn’t suit them, so they moved to Orlando. They had interned with Disney the summer of their junior year and quickly went about applying to be a costume designer for them. Between their active cosplay collection, and the work they had done as an intern, they managed to land the position. Working behind the scenes, making costumes, doing alterations, it was Joss’s dream job, particularly because it meant not having to worry, too often, about being misgendered by other people.

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