#because they just don't have the hand stability to do it neatly like they used to?

[neverendingford]

.

[spamgyu]

right where you left me // oneshot

DESCRIPTION: Everyone had moved on with their lives but he was still stuck where she had left him; unable to leave the table that was once set for two.

PAIRING: Mingyu x Reader / Hoshi x Reader

GENRE: Angst (Fluff if you squint really hard)

ALWAYS PART 2 - can be read alone

Because I mean.... I wasn't going to leave you guys just hanging

Four years.

It's been four years since he made the conscious decision to let her go despite his previous promise to her of forever; claiming it was only for the best.

And he was right. It was for the best – but as months turned into years, he realized it was only the best for her. 

Because all while everyone in their friend group moved on from their college days, starting their own lives in the real world, he stayed.

Don't get him wrong, he was able to have a successful career – moving up to Director of Finance in no time; but that was only because he chose to drown himself in work. The only method he knew to silence the voices in his head.

The voices seemed to grow only louder as each day passed.

Today was no different. He had come home from a long day of work, completely prepared to change out of his neatly pressed suit into a much more comfortable attire to meet Minghao for happy hour at a nearby bar.

But of course, the universe wasn't going to give him a day off.

Amongst the pile of bills addressed to him, a particularly light blue envelope caught his eyes.

It had his and her name.

He didn't need to open it to know the contents.

He felt his chest tighten as he stared at their two names together, using one hand to grip the counter; stabilizing his footing. It was the same feeling he had felt when he had managed to stumble upon their shared instagram post of their silhouette in the sunset – with his best friend down on one knee and her hand clasped over her mouth.

It was a save the date.

Quickly pulling out his phone and putting it up to his ear, calling the one person that kept his secret. To the rest of his friends, they believed he had moved on as she had – putting on a great act each time they all gathered on special occasions. 

What they didn't know was how much it pained him to see the girl he loved be with his best friend. They didn't know that he would sit in his car for minutes to prepare himself to walk into the same room as the two, a fake smile painted on his face. They didn't know that not a single day passed that he didn't think about how he wished it was him that came home to her. 

And there was no one else to blame but him.

One ring.

Two rings.

Come on, pick up.

"Hey man–"

"Did you get yours in the mail?" His voice was gruff.

A sigh was heard from the other line. "Yeah. I'm guessing you got yours." 

"I can't fucking breathe man." 

"I'm sorry, dude. Are you still up for tonight? I'll pay." Minghao offered. He knew alcohol wasn't the best coping mechanism but he'll allow it. 

Just for tonight.

"Yeah. I'll be there in 20."

"I'll see you."

------------------------

"How did you do it?" He toyed with the half empty glass of whisky in his hand. His third one since their arrival.... an hour ago. 

"Do what?" Minghao asked.

"When Kaia got engaged, how did you manage to be okay?"

Minghao shrugged. Like Y/n, Kaia was the one girl that Minghao had let slip through his fingers. He was young and naive; unable to appreciate the girl in front of him because he was far too busy in his own world.

Guess birds of the same feather do flock together.

"I had to. It hurt as hell, still does, but what am I going to do? Call her up? Tell her to choose me inst–" Minghao trailed off, watching a smirk form on his friend's lips. "Don't you dare fucking do it."

Mingyu let out a chuckle, shaking his head. "I won't. Thought about it, but I won't."

He had lost count of the times he nearly called her in the past few years. Whether it was to beg for her back or simply just to hear her voice; Mingyu spent minutes staring at the contact that he had yet to change.

Just as he did with the endless pictures and videos in his camera roll.

It was the last few pieces of her that he had. 

In moments of weakness, he looked over those small moments of what they once were; pretending like nothing has changed.

Just for a moment.

"Good. You can be as reckless as you want. Just don't involve them. They're happy now."

Them.

Hoshi and Y/n.

After calling it off with y/n, he expected Hoshi to swoop in and save the day right away. Hell, Mingyu expected y/n to break-up with him and leave him for Hoshi. After the god for saken interaction at the gym during their senior year, he was so sure that Hoshi would have gone running to y/n and let her know about what had taken place and use this as his chance to win the girl over.

But his friend just had to be the good guy, with morals and all the stupid shit that he seemed to have lacked when he broke up with her, and he waited.

Hoshi waited a year for y/n to fully heal from the breakup, staying by her side until the right time came. Going as far as giving Mingyu a heads up that he would pursue her when the time came.

Mingyu could still remember that night as if it was yesterday.

He was getting ready for bed when there had been a knock at his door, catching him off guard. He had just gotten back from playing basketball with the rest of the boys and didn't expect for any of them to be hot on his tail.

He remembered that Hoshi looked absolutely terrified that night, practically stammering over his words before he was able to even get to his point.

"I'm not asking for permission, I think we're too grown for that but– it's been a year and you're okay and she's okay a–and–"

"Spit it out, dude." Mingyu chuckled.

"I'm going to try it out with y/n." Hoshi blurted.

Mingyu blinked. "That's it?"

"Well, yeah– you're my best friend and she's your ex–"

"Like you said. We're adults. Do what makes you happy, man."

He should have told him no.

He should have said some bullshit excuse like "bro code". But Mingyu was dating at the time and had yet to fully process the breakup the way she had.

What a stupid mistake.

Mingyu finished the remaining drink in his cup, standing up from his seat. "Going to get another drink– maybe two, want another?" He gestured over to the bottle of beer his friend had been babysitting.

Minghao nodded. "Get me shot too. You dragged me down with you and now I'm thinking about Kaia and her stupid fucking fiancé."

"I can't be the only one suffering." He winked, turning his heel to head for the bar.

Two rounds turned into five and soon, Mingyu had become incoherent. He had only been in this state once before, being able to handle his alcohol pretty well – it was the day he found out she and Hoshi had gotten engaged.

Mingyu was bed ridden the day after, feeling the aftermath of all the drinks throughout his body. He swore to himself after that day that he would never let himself reach that state again.

So much for that.

"Hey, come on sit up real quick." He felt a tap on his shoulder.

Mingyu groaned, sinking deeper into his mattress – wanting to sleep away the nausea.

This will be the last time. Promise.

"No."

"Water will help."

He continued to ignore his friend but of course, he was adamant – this time lightly shaking his shoulder.

"I'll throw up on you if you do that again." Mingyu swatted his hand away, his eyes remaining closed.

"Drink."

Letting out a defeated sigh, Mingyu managed to sit himself up — holding his hand out for the glass. Halfway through taking his sip, his mind finally registered the voice.

It wasn't Minghao.

Eyes widening, Mingyu whipped his head to where his friend stood.

Big mistake.

"Fuck." Mingyu reached up to hold his head, all while trying to understand why Hoshi was standing in his room – clad in sweats and oversized hoodie.

"You called. Three times." Hoshi read his mind.

Oh, he definitely took it too far this time.

"I'm sorry I bothered you. I– I don't remem–"

Hoshi shook his head. "It's okay. Just be glad that Y/n had her ringer on."

He didn't call Hoshi.

He called y/n.

"We figured it was something serious considering you rarely called her." Hoshi continued.

We.

Of course it was a "we". They lived together.

All while Mingyu drank his consciousness away, Hoshi and y/n were having their usual Friday night in — eating their take away on their white sherpa lined modular couch as they caught up on the latest season of The Bear. A tradition they have upheld since their college days.

The two were in the middle of watching Carm and Richie have their usual screaming match when y/n's phone blared loudly over their voices.

"It's.... Mingyu?" She flashed the phone screen to her fiancé, a puzzled look on her face. The last he had called her was nearly a year ago and it was only because no one else had been answering his texts in the group chat regarding their meeting place for their college friendgroup's annual get together. It was a short call, and not much exchange was made.

But their annual get together wasn't until 3 months from now.

And there was no reason for him to be calling her.

"Answer it." Hoshi reached for the remote to pause the show.

Y/n shook her head. "Most likely a butt dial."

Though the two were cordial, able to maturely share the same space with one another since their break up, y/n knew that there was absolutely no purpose for Mingyu's call unless it was an accidental one. They were friends but not friends who contacted each other outside of group settings and group chats.

They were exes after all. And exes don't contact each other like that. Especially not after 4 years of a beak up.

"He is at a bar right now." Hoshi shrugged, recalling Minghao's instagram story he had tapped through earlier that had Mingyu's handle tagged.

The two happily dismissed the call as nothing but an accident before her phone began to ring. Again.

"Maybe he's hurt?" Hoshi suggested as she pressed the lock button to automatically decline the call.

Ringgg.

"Oh my god, he better be." She groaned, tapping the accept button. "Hello?"

"Whydishuinvitwme?" The sound of the background music, indistinct voices from other patrons and his slurred words sounded nothing but a muffled mess.

"Mingyu are you okay?" Y/n she asked slowly, as if it would have made a difference. She knew he was drunk. In which state? She had yet to figure out.

For all they knew was that he had managed to get into a fight at the bar... or worse, gotten behind the wheel.

"No."

Y/n instantly sat up in her seat, eyes wide — causing Hoshi, who has yet to be filled in, to be in a panic.

"Where are you?"

"Hell." He slurred.

"Mingyu work with me here— Ming— hello?" Y/n heard the beep signaling the call has been ended on the other end, throwing her head back in frustration.

She had initially thought something bad had happened to him but considering the lack of information he was willing to give, y/n realized that his drunken state must have thought it would be funny to give her a call.

Very mature.

Hoshi was at the edge of his seat, trying to read her face. "What's going on? Are they okay? Is he okay?"

"He's drunk out of his mind." Y/n rolled her eyes; leaning back, waiting for him to resume the episode. "He'll be fine."

Hoshi stood from his seat, walking over to the counter – where their respective car keys sat in a ceramic bowl. The bowl that Hoshi had proudly created and painted for her during his senior year — it was meant to be a cereal bowl but y/n claimed that there was no way that it was food grade safe and had opted to use it for accessories instead.

Hoshi had originally took offense to this, spending hours at their school's ceramics room finishing the fine details of the dinnerware only for it to hold keys, various change, and lip balms. But of course, he couldn't resist y/n and grown to love seeing the stupid thing each time he paid her visit. Years later, this bowl had gone from each apartment she had lived at to their now shared home. A small gesture that later hold so much memories for the both of them.

"Let's go." He grabbed his keys.

"You're joking."

"No, come on. He won't call unless it's serious."

"But hone—"

Hoshi let out a chuckle, holding his hand out. "We'll be quick, baby"

"We don't even know where they are."

"Minghao's chronically online and tags all his locations. I think I have a pretty good idea."

The two arrived at the bar within minutes, sticking out like sore thumbs in their sweats in the midst of a crowd that were dressed for a crazy night out.

The world was definitely praying for Mingyu's downfall at this point. Receiving a save the date and being taken care by his ex's fiancé after a night out was not on his 2023 bingo, yet... here it is.

"Does she know you're here?" Mingyu swallowed. He had no memory of the call.

Hell, the last thing he remembered was a group of girls coming by their table and dropping off some shots for him and Minghao; insisting that it was all for a good fun. At his big age, he should have already known that mixing all sorts of liquor was a bad idea.

Hoshi nodded over to his bedroom door signaling that she was just a few feet away. "She's making sure Hao is okay in the guest bedroom. I hope you don't mind, he's spending the night."

"No, yeah that's— that's perfect. I'm sorry you guys had to come out and help us." Mingyu couldn't help but be embarrassed at his current state; afraid of the moment his brain decides to recollect the gaps of memory that lead up to now. He was 99.9% sure he had done something that would require him to go into hiding for at least a year.

"All good." Hoshi gave him a smile.

It was a genuine one.

Mingyu quickly shook away the thought of hating how civil and kind Hoshi was.

Because he knew if it was the other way around, he would have been quite annoyed. Who in their right mind would willingly take care of their fiancé's ex-boyfriend? And do it with a smile?

Granted, they are friends.

Just before Mingyu could utter another word, the door creaked open and her head popped in. She was fully expecting Mingyu to be fast asleep and was hoping to call her future husband out to let him know it was time to head home.

Hoshi looked at his friend's guilty face and glanced over at y/n. He didn't have to say a single thing for her to know what he wanted from her.

"I'll wait in the living room. Be nice." He whispered, placing a kiss at her temple before squeezing past her.

Y/n let out a small sigh, walking over to Mingyu's bed; his eyes trained on her with each move she made.

She looked beautiful as ever. It has been a while since he took in her features; in person at least. She had grown up to be a gorgeous woman, her features have now become matured — it was almost as if he could no longer recognize her.

"How are you feeling?"

"A little drunk still but manageable."

Y/n nodded, pursing her lips. "How are you really feeling?"

"I—" She was never one to be direct. At least, not with him. Taking Mingyu by surprise. "Physically and mentally? Horrible."

She hesitantly took a seat at the foot of his bed. "If we had known how you truly felt, we wouldn't have invited you, you know that right?"

Mingyu found himself subconsciously scoffing. "Whichever decision you guys make, it would have made me look like a total loser. Don't invite me, and everyone will notice and ask. Invite me and everyone will be giving me those stupid pity eyes the whole night."

"Last time everyone checked, we all believed you moved on. You broke up with me. You began dating first. Mingyu— I— listen, you're his best friend. He loves you to death. The past 3 years have felt normal, if we had known—"

She was right and it hurt.

He had put on such a great act for not just her and Hoshi but for everyone around him. Mingyu was able to convince everyone that he could careless if y/n had moved on successfully with his best friend. Going as far as bringing girls around during group settings, joking around with Hoshi about sharing the same girl, and actively initiating any conversation between him and y/n.

He should win an Oscar.

"I don't know what I said or what I did before we got to my apartment. I don't even remember calling you! I'm– I'm okay– Or at least I will be I– I just– seeing you with him hurts. But god, seeing that save the date– fuck I just felt like the wind was knocked out of me. I didn't think I could experience a pain worse than I had been feeling. It was a moment of weakness. Okay? So I'm sorry for ruining whatever image you guys had of me– or happy little group we all have." Mingyu chewed at his lip, running his fingers through his now very short hair. A haircut he impulsively given himself a month ago in an effort to make a somewhat of a change in his life.

So much for that.

"I fucked up when I was with you and I know I'm too late now. My intentions are never to fuck over what you two have, but it fucking hurts." He continued, placing his hand over his chest – gripping at the shirt. Almost as if it was the reason why his heart was feeling so constrained.

"Mingyu, these past few years we never distanced ourselves because you never said a thing. You told me yourself that you don't care. You brought girls around." Y/n heart ached seeing him in pain. She had initially been quite annoyed that Hoshi had forced her out of the comfort of their home to take care of two capable grown adults, but after what he had babbled on about in the car, and the confession he was spilling out now... y/n empathized with him.

After all, she once loved him. She once thought it would be him she would end up marrying. Despite the heartache he put her through, she still cared for him.

Y/n could see the pain glossing over his eyes. The guilt and sorrow that he tried so hard to mask.

How had they missed it all this time?

"I've always been pretty stubborn, haven't I?" Mingyu attempted to joke, forcing out a bitter laugh.

"Look, I only stayed around and kept up with the group because of Hoshi. You guys mean so much to him. He's not trying to rub it in your face that he's got me. He genuinely loves you. All of you. If he was allowed 12 groomsmen, I'm pretty sure all of you would be up standing by him at the altar."

"I'd rather fucking die, if we're being honest." Mingyu couldn't stand the thought of standing at the end of the aisle, waiting for her to come down only for her to be in someone else's arms.

"You know what I mean."

"I know. He's— I think that's why it hurts." He looked down at her hand, unable to stop himself from staring at the ring that sat perfectly on her finger.

Mingyu looked back up, locking eyes with her. "He's such a good man and every time I hear about you two, see you on instagram, or see you in person, I can't help but compare myself to him."

"Don't do that."

"He's everything I couldn't be for you."

"Don't say that."

"Is it not true? I was a piece of shit, y/n. I know it. You know it. He knows it. Everyone knows it. I think about the night I broke it off between us at least once a month. I can still hear you crying, begging for me to not end things. I remember the first time a brought a girl around and how broken you looked. I remember you left early that night. Hoshi took you home. I remember the text you sent me two months after we broke up, telling me how much you missed me and I just deleted that text. I—" His voice cracked, tears threatening to spill from his eyes. "I remember all the times I left you hanging when you needed me most."

"I've forgiven you for all of those things, Mingyu." Y/n said softly, reaching over to place a hand on top of his – stopping him from picking at the loose thread of his blanket. "It's all in the past."

Mingyu didn't know how she did it. How she was able to look him, the man that repeatedly broke her heart into pieces, and comfort him.

"But I haven't. I feel like I'm living in a constant nightmare I can't wake up from."

Don't get him wrong. He had tried.

He attempted to distance himself from the group but failed immediately — unable to stay away from the band of brothers he had found comfort in. They were all attached at the hip, having relationship ties with a majority of them since they were in middle school. No matter how horrible their fights got, they always seemed to go back to one another.

And this was no different.

Mingyu tried dating.

That too didn't work.

Because no matter how gorgeous or how smart or how funny the girl was, he couldn't help but compare them to y/n.

They never did measure up to her.

Not in the way Mingyu wanted.

"Mingyu..." She trailed off.

"I'll get over it. Like I said, tonight was just a moment of weakness."

"I really am sorry."

"For what? For moving on? Don't apologize." He shook his head. As much as he hated their situation, and not being to be the man that called her his, he also valued her happiness.

Something he wasn't able to do years ago.

"For choosing, of all the people in the world, him."

Mingyu winced at her words. "Can't believe I'm saying this but I'm glad it's him. He's— he's a good fucking guy. He worships the ground you walk on. Been doing it since our freshman year. He's– He's a great pick and at least I know you're in good hands."

There was no second guessing that Mingyu felt some sort of resentment towards Hoshi.

And it was all from pure envy.

Because despite being the first one to love y/n, Mingyu seemed to have done everything wrong. He started off so strong, fulfilling all that he had promised when he was trying to win her heart over the first few years. But of course, he fell short. He wasn't able to be consistent.

Not like Hoshi.

From what Mingyu has heard and observed from the two, they seemed to still be in the honeymoon phase. After all those years of pining and waiting for y/n, and the years of being together, Hoshi is still continuously pursuing her.

There was not a single Friday where he failed to bring home flowers; keeping the light pink vase by her bedside filled with fresh picks from the local flower shop. He made sure that despite their busy schedules, he had a date night planned and reserved. All she had to do was simply show up. Hoshi kept her updated, even if this was a quick trip to the grocery store — he made sure not a single ounce of doubt was instilled in her.

These weren't things y/n asked for.

Hoshi did it without being told. The bare minimum.

"I think it would have been worse to see you move on with a guy who treated you the same way I did.... or worse." Mingyu continued. Almost as if he was coming to the realization himself.

"You need to stop blaming yourself."

He couldn't help it.

Mingyu had always thought of the what if's.

What if he just fought harder?

What if he had just been a little more patient?

What if he never broke it off?

What if he was better with managing his time?

What if he told Hoshi no?

What if it had been him?

"I'll learn eventually."

Y/n scooted closer to him, giving his hand a squeeze. "To you, it may seem that things ended badly. And you may think I have this horrible image of you in my head but I need you to know all those voices in your head are wrong. You will always be this dorky little puppy that made my horrible days during school all the better. The boy that forced himself to watch Twilight Zone no matter how spooked he was because he thought it was the same thing as Twilight. The boy that learned to cook because we were two broke college students who couldn't afford to go on dates. The boy that took micro bio with me because you knew how much I hated science classes."

The tears he had fought so hard from falling no longer stood a chance; each droplet racing down his face. Mingyu had no idea these small memories were something that she held on to.

All while he replayed the bad times in his head — y/n only hung on to the good times.

"You will always be the boy that showed me how beautiful young love could be." Y/n placed a hand on his cheek; using her thumb to wipe away the tears.

Mingyu found himself leaning into her touch, closing his eyes. It has been so long since he felt her warmth — allowing himself to savor this short moment of affection.

Because he knew this would be his last.

"Thank you." Mingyu said softly, reaching up to place his hand over hers. "I think— I think I really needed this."

"In a way, I think I did too."

tag list: @leah-rose03 @yoonzinuhh @musingsofananxiouspotato @woofie-nctzen-fanarts

«« [an]

sorry for the long wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! pls dont kill me lol

[bigfan-fanfic]

Like the Real Cowboys Do (Male!Reader x Benny Lafitte x Dean Winchester)

Requested by @capturingthecountryside

Dean smirked into the mirror, checking himself out for the fifth or sixth time since getting into the cowboy getup.

The black cowboy hat sitting low on his brow, the sinfully tight black Wrangler jeans tucked into black cowboy boots, held up with a matching black belt, and his button up shirt still hanging open - he feels like a sexy outlaw or something.

Which is the whole point.

Because, while he usually enjoys the medieval themed LARPs Charlie Bradbury takes him to, she's scouted him out a western one this time.

And what's better, you and Benny Lafitte will be there - Benny began dating you after you helped out his business, and had been inseparable ever since.

And Dean had started to develop a crush on you both when he met you and saw your relationship.

You've mentioned before to Benny about how Dean is always just a little too interested in your life together, always wanting to see you both, and considered the possibility that he might want to be a part of your relationship.

Benny didn't mind too much, but said you should let Dean come to that conclusion and act on it yourself... unless an unavoidably good opportunity presented itself.

Dean knows none of this, and so, he accepted a ride from you both to the LARP grounds, deciding if he can't work up the courage, he'll just have to use his body to seduce you. Hence the graphically tight jeans and slightly-higher-than-strictly-necessary-shut-up-Sammy boots.

Benny sometimes enjoys surprising Dean, so when Dean walks to his kitchen and sees Benny there, he's somewhat surprised but not too much.

"Wow, Dean. Couldn't be bothered to button up?" you tease.

Benny chuckles before Dean can respond. "Real cowboys didn't go around all exposed like that."

Dean rolls his eyes. "Oh really, old timer? Why don't you give me a rundown?"

Benny has him on the ground instantly, taking advantage of Dean's lack of suspicion to wrestle him neatly to the floor, holding him down by the back of the neck like a scolded puppy.

"You're under arrest." Benny drawls, his Cajun accent moving west and a little south and ending up somewhere on the Texas-Arizona border. "Hand me that rope, would ya, darlin?" he smirks at you.

"Aw, come on! Unfair!" Dean whines, but he doesn't bother to struggle against Benny's adamant grip. Benny has him hogtied in under a minute, his wrists bound together and stretched back to meet his ankles, which are crossed, tied, and pulled tight back up towards his wrists.

It's a testament to Dean's own athletic ability that he can withstand his back being bowed so far that his legs and chest lift up off the floor at the strict hogtie.

"Yeah, we knew how to get a man trussed up back then." Benny winks, watching Dean finally start to writhe, though mainly ineffectually. "But we had one more step..."

Dean growls as Benny pulls his own bandana off, flicking out the tails, and tying a knot in the center of it before pulling it between Dean's teeth.

He can still talk after Benny ties it firmly in place, but his speech is thoroughly garbled.

Benny winks at you as he picks Dean up and holds him over his shoulder, his hand resting on Dean's rear, supposedly to stabilize him but clearly with an ulterior motive.

"Another thing about cowboys was that they didn't care too much about traditional ways of doin things. So why don't you and I keep this here outlaw for a while and see if he enjoys being... kept?" He smirks, and you can see Dean's head move as his eyes widen in interest.

"Sounds like a plan, Benny." you smirk, reaching up to kiss him. "But you gotta teach me how to do that with the ropes."

"Sure thing." he winks, patting Dean's ass, making the hunter yelp. "We got our own outlaw practice dummy right here."

And with that, Benny carries Dean outside, and you consider that this LARP just got a whole lot more fun.

[compacflt]

I know you said that you aren't the pinnacle of military knowledge that people think you are but know a damsite more than I do about the US military than I do, so I have a question. Do you have any idea how long the Darkstar project would've been going on for in canon? It can't have been a few months but I also don't know if it would be years and years? I know Mav has an award for being a test pilot that I think is dated 2007 (I may have imagined that) but that doesn't mean the Darkstar project was going on for over ten years? I think the F-18A took 8 years from testing to being approved, so it can't be far off. Just wanted your opinion. Thanks :-)

awright here’s my opinion (not an expert)

the darkstar is canonically a Lockheed Martin “skunk works” (super duper secret) surveillance and reconnaissance (SR) spyplane, as evidenced by the skunk works logo on the vertical stabilizer (left is darkstar, right is me with the SW logo on the SR-71 blackbird at the udvar-hazy museum this summer).

we can look to see how long other SW projects have taken to develop in the past. the SR-71, for instance, was first suggested as an “undetectable spyplane” idea in 1957. the lockheed A-12 oxcart, which would provide the framework for the SR-71, had its first flight in 1962, five years later. the finished SR-71 was introduced into USAF and CIA service in 1966. so a 9-year development for the fastest-ever air-breathing jet, with 4-ish of those years being flight testing (ish because the A-12 had to be heavily adapted into the SR-71 which had its first flight in 1964).

Lockheed’s been teasing its blackbird successor, the unmanned aerial vehicle the SR-72 “son of blackbird,” on its socials recently. i saw someone say: “soft-launching its new death machine like an instagram influencer with a new boyfriend”

leading many to believe this is what happened

note however that the SR-72 son of blackbird is an UNMANNED aerial vehicle (UAV) which is why in my fic I specifically said this

note also that most of aircraft development is just that—development. Flight testing (i.e. where mav would get hands-on involved) doesn’t come until very very late in the development process. For the plot of my fic’s sake I had mav go out to NAWS china lake in 2003, but in TGM during the Hard Deck scene Penny says something to the effect of “you got sent out to the desert three years ago for pissing off that other admiral” and mav goes “that was three years ago? 😀” (cute!) so that’s the longest mav could’ve canonically been involved with the darkstar project. (For my own purposes i made it like a year, for those two sections of the story to neatly flow into each other—from 2015ish to 2016. I know TGM takes place in 2020 [i know but idfc] Maybe LockMart has had this tech [probably not high hypersonic like in the movie] for that long anyway and it’s just been so heavily classified that we didn’t know about it till very recently. Definitely possible.)

[godstrain]

"Hey. Checkin' in on you, Doc." Darck's voice rings true as she leans in the door frame. Calm as can be with those critical and all knowing eyes behind purple sunglasses. It was something of the occasional thing, when the odd creature would stop by. Whatever she may be, it was not of BOW origin. She'd hinted at Wesker before of her state of being, half alive and dead, but supernatural in its ways. Wanted to at least leave something for Albert to pick at and figure out for his ever working brain.

And she also knew how he was. One of the few who knew the true identity, his history, yet still had offered a hand in help. Despite all odds.

"Doing well recently? Need any new supplies? And I mean your personal work or life, not public work." ➤ @darckcarnival

he has learned what his struggles are. he knows how to time things right. he knows how to pretend that he isn't the remnants of a monster / tyrant made in some abandoned lab- and he has adjusted to that strange emptiness. at least, somewhat. it's better to be alone, to not subject anyone to the truth-

except, darck knows the truth. she knows that albert wilde is just another fabrication. a life that could've existed, but didn't. not truly. she knew what he had done, she knew far too much for his liking, didn't she? a person who was more than capable of outsmarting albert wesker, the self-declared god of a new world. but that was also another fabrication / desire that was not truly his. he had been another extension of oswell spencer, then. it hits him time and time again that his entire life has been rather out of his control. it's the reminder that he can barely call himself a real person anymore. he never really was able to become anything but the frightened little boy who had no one to cover his eyes when...

albert wilde had died with his parents that day, hadn't he? albert wesker had learned to cheat death- so perhaps the same was true for albert wilde / nestled deep in the tyrant's psyche, given a chance to exist through the strange kindness of the not-alive-not-dead darck.

doing well recently? he knows he must look a mess. rather fresh from that seasonal ordeal, shaken as always- but she's asking as a courtesy. ❝ not much has changed, ❞ he sounds rather awful, too- throat raw from screaming, body aching from trying to escape the enclosure he'd built specifically to prevent that (he'd never figure out how to escape while robbed of any semblance of complex thought). ❝ i remain in a cycle that i ... ❞

that i am afraid of breaking. i don't know how else to live. i cannot live like this, but my other options are unknowns. i have always hated anything that i could not predict- he hopes she can't read minds, although even if she could, maybe that would be better than having to admit anything out loud. ❝ it's rather unfortunate that i'm left without the resources from tricell- excella was easy to manipulate, eager to please, almost too eager- ❞

tricell had crumbled just as umbrella had, but wesker was well aware of abandoned facilities. he could raid one and escape before anyone knew- except darck, because she was always watching. that had turned out to be a blessing and a curse, hadn't it? ❝ but, your kindness is not something to take for granted. i'm certain you could easily deprive me of resources as easily as you have provided them- ❞ the syringes lay neatly in a row, pre-measured and ready to use. uroboros' remnants had certainly reduced the frequency in which he required the doses, but in the end, his body had still healed wrong / lacked permanent stability- ❝ it would be best if i obtained resources on my own, at least for this. ❞

he only looks over at her once he's self-administered the serum, a brief but searing pain turning into a soothing relief / he can breathe easier, return to his facade of normalcy- ❝ you've already offered more than i'd expected. now that i have found a way to settle into this new life, you don't have to worry about offering more than this. ❞ for wesker, that's a kindness of its own / the more she offers, the more he fears that he will be found- and he's not ready for that / not ready to face the people he'd ruined and betrayed-

❝ ... thank you for checking in, darck. ❞ it's genuine / soft and uncertain (he's afraid. that had set him apart from the other tyrants- he remembered how to be afraid / fear, a primal thing that helped all creatures survive), but the words are followed by a small smile. it's a step forward, he thinks- something like that.

[nanakah]

about Ishigami, his growth and Miko's role

most people, myself included, thought at some point that Tsubame's rejection (or acceptance) could wrap up Ishigami's arc and even his past's flashbacks neatly, but Osaragi's arc suddenly revealing there was more to his relationship with Miko made me reflect more and think nah...if anything we're halfway there. It also showed glimpses of him already struggling to find his place in the world by quitting his clubs, even though he was successful at them and there was no Ootomo incident yet to undermine his self-image.

It seemed odd that despite everything he went through he still has his "hair=shield/averting eyes" theme going strong, but it makes sense if you consider even though Tsubame helped him see the way to be more accepting of people and cleared his name, his self-esteem still is super low. I spoke of this in my "sutera" meta, but to Ishigami, his life still has been a sucession of failures and almosts. At his core, he still hasn't fully opened up to people or learned to use his vulnerabilities to his advantage.

If I have grabbed your interest thus far, keep reading for more considerations!

Tsubame is kind to anyone and attempted to do good for him, but ultimately he was never fully himself around her, nor she tried/he alllowed her reaching out to the deepest parts of his insecurities. She doesn't show her own flaws to him either and to this day we get the feeling we don't know her well, just the best parts that Ishigami wanted to see. Kaguya, Miyuki and Chika contribute a lot in a sibling-like way, but there's a limit to how much Kaguya in particular can inspire him. Miko however, has scratched a little beneath the surface and has expressed an interest in helping him with that, even if he himself is still avoiding the topic. She's also more relatable to him in the sense that the rest of the stuco has a history of successes in their lives, while he was able to watch Miko's hardships and failures closely. Their panic attacks even look similar and they're always watching the other to provide backup (in a very roundabout way, at least before) when they happen.

While their personalities are fundamentally different, his arc and struggles remind me a lot of Miyamura from Horimiya and today, as I was musing on what is so different about them as of now, I believe it's how Miyamura didn't have a single *traumatic* mistake to get over, so he goes down his development road much faster. Putting it another way, it's ultimately that Ishigami hasn't yet learned to be kind to himself like Miyamura has through Hori. Like Shirogane and Kaguya are through themselves. In Miyamura's case, sympathizing with how Hori despite her strong exterior can be very fragile inside but still support him (fight for him, defend him, accept his true self, not judge him, hear him, make him feel good enough) made him feel compelled to grow stronger to protect her back.

Miko as she was at the beggining of the story couldn't provide Ishigami this sort of stability (and that's where Osaragi's "prettier story"/"you weren't there for him" reasoning fails) even if deep down she wanted to, but now after making many mistakes, learning from them and becoming more flexible, she absolutely can. Both Ishigami and Miko have deeply rooted issues that took them more than just each other to flesh out and develop, but they're very much the missing puzzle piece the other needs.

Miko still very much has room for growth as well, mainly concerning finding a middle ground between her "bad girl" and "good girl" personas that Ishigami can easily see through, as demonstrated by the consolation chapter. She tried being "bad", she attempted lying but was still saying half-truths, because her love of justice isn't just out of parental abandonment issues or loneliness - she does believe them sincerely. The moment Ishigami headpated her and shared genuine, spot-on words of concern and admiration (thus a hint of fondness), it was all over for her trying to keep up the love-warfare upper hand.

That's not actually new - Ishigami has always demonstrated he was able to see glimpses of her true self, be it teasing how she's an otaku or a closet pervert and such, he never fully bought the strait-laced image she aspired to make real. But it did take him being around her more to see she could be sweet to him and as he puts it, that smiling more is not a bad look on her. Miko says to Osaragi your true self only comes through interacting with others, so given how lonely she has always been (and how the one person close to her - Osaragi - was actually keeping things between them superficial because of her own problems), it's no surprise she's only finding out now who she is. Ishigami can help Miko find a better compromise of good/bad after both not following any rules at all for so long and recently learning that hard work can pay off. Miko immersing herself in his hobby will clash with her rigid study schedule sooner or later, and he'll know how to help her with that better than anyone else.

On the other hand, Ishigami's moral compass, romanticism (love for flowers, planing dates etc) and idealism aren't things he is proud of...yet. He protects himself with layers of cynism, especially in his first appearances, but he is always being contradictory and letting it slip how idealistic/pure he is at heart. He also is only now learning to like his outward image with things like fitness/studying and finding out it's not like he never cared about it - it's just that he was scared shitless of failure, thus never even tried hard in the first place to avoid being hurt. And as I have advocated for in the Sutera post, I expect Miko in some level to help him come to terms with seeing good in himself. Heck, even being able to game with her now and showing off how good he is and having her appreciate it is gonna do wonders to make him feel more "adequate". Tsubame's arc had a lot of him changing himself to become "better", but Miko on the other hand is trying to put herself in HIS shoes to maybe go "hey, I like you as you are. I'm trying to understand you more and put effort in for you".

Ishigami and Miko start out watching out for each other behind their backs - which instead of helping their relationship, drives them further apart because they think the other side is showing no appreciation. As the story progresses, they're slowly learning to make each other more aware of their support, and it is making them open up more in general.

They have a strong belief the other wants to be rescued and there is truth in that. Both want help and to be recognized for their efforts, but won't cry out for it. In the unplugged earbuds chapter Ishigami takes it upon himself to protect Miko's reputation in spite of himself, the election arc has him actually putting effort into the campaign just for the sake of protecting her and at first posing as a rival of hers to Shirogane only to reveal he's trying to "make Miko smile", he is constantly fending off men from interacting with her as protection (while also sounding jealous), he was way more protective of her when she was wearing that cast than needed and is now being able to openly headpat her and sounds almost like her "soothing sounds" from the days of yore lol Sure Tsubame seems like his start to becoming "a better man", but all the way back on the election, it was for Miko's sake that we first SEE him putting effort into *anything* without being coerced by anyone to take action.

And while it's more discreet compared to Ishigami's "white knight" attitude, Miko also tries hard to protect him - cheering him on during the sports festival race and wanting to console him before the stuco intervened, telling him he should study (but he thinks it's just nagging), christmas (which I'll elaborate bellow), making sure he was able to graduate middle school by actually confronting school staff and, of course, their very first meeting as recently revealed.

Many people hated the entirety of Osaragi's arc, but 232 gave very juicy info indeed. Ishigami's reason for supporting Miko from the shadows comes from admiration AND part gratitude for her attempting to talk to him and listen to what troubles him, and seeing they actually had a "falling out" argument was game changing.

He looks sad and troubled to have shut her down there, not simply angry, and so does she (there's tears in her eyes when her face is shown in the next page) - despite her black and white sense of justice at this point of the story, she still wanted to listen to him. And even after that outburst she still believed the rumors weren't real, unlike Osaragi sees it - otherwise she wouldn't have made the effort for him to be able to move on to high school. Why would she care, if she truly hated him and thought he was in the wrong?

If any further proof was needed at all that this info is important, I'm happy to say we have more. I noticed the Christmas stairs scene mirrors this exact falling out moment: "Go away"/"Suit yourself"

But this time Miko had already decided to change, had already seen the mess their relationship became the last time she did not reach out to him and thus already had their previous falling out in mind - meaning she decides to chase after him.

I don't like how the scanlations handled this scene because reading the japanese raws, my interpretation was that Miko was sounding "annoying" because she was still kinda drunk/unfiltered and freaking out when talking to Ishigami, not outright berating him like the Jaimini's box translation made it look like. She also sounds too angry after the fall, so I generally thought Viz's version (the panel shown above) was closer to the original.

"I always have to take care of you! You keep putting youself in danger. You can't make it on your own." is a better translation than Jaimini's, and also parallels better what Ishigami is often telling Miko as well (That she keeps putting herself in danger and that he has to be around to keep her in check). But with 232 in mind, I think it misses a nuance of the original line: "ほんとあんたは 私が居ないと危なっかしく駄目ね" - "Honto anta wa watashi ga inaito abunakkashiku dame ne" - while I'm a novice at japanese studies, gathering from what I can read and trying to get a feel of the whole sentence, it's closer to "So it really is dangerous to you if I'm not there/ It's no good if I'm not around you". You can take that as her being full of herself, which is the route Jaimini's goes ("You'd be screwed without me") but that's too hostile - Viz's got the spirit of wanting to protect him better, but the original has an implication that she has "tested not being there"/failed being there before (due to not fully siding with him in middle school) that's absent elsewhere.

IMO the reason Ishigami's "closed his eyes" arc is not over yet is because he hasn't accepted or gotten over or fully learned from his past yet, he simply shut it down. That's why briefly during the sports festival his eyes are in plain view, then go back to their usual for the balloon gag. I'm not sure if Ootomo herself will make a comeback, may or may not - regrets are regrets and sometimes the only solution to them is letting them stay in the past. But the topic of how he saw Miko in middle school and the letter certainly are being set up to still show up in the story.

If I compare him to Miyamura again, he'd still be at the point before Miyamura's haircut - not wanting to face the parts of himself he doesn't like, not quite ready to change. Not quite ready to patch up his own wounds yet and instead silencing everything from his past.

In this sense, Miko does wonders to make him feel more confident even if he hasn't realized it yet, and she's always dropping little hints she'd like him to worry about his future not in a naggy way, but because she genuinely prays for his success. He unconsciously wants Miko to think well of him and it fills him with confidence and a more prideful image of himself he doesn't really display to anyone else, not even Tsubame - like his usages of "ore" (a more manly/confident way of addressing himself) around her (AND HER ALONE):

( I don't like the available translations to the staircase scene either, lol. Zaibatsu has conveyed the tone of the second scene up there perfectly. For the staircase line, I've seen "I'll be there to catch you" and "I'll save you" which are contextually correct, but to me the original "俺が絶対守る" - "I (ore) will absolutely protect you" carries a much more romantic nuance or ambiguity, regardless of him realizing it at that point. It's like, the title to one of the most romantic moments/songs in the CCS Clear card anime ost, for instance. OF COURSE MIKO LOVES HIM. The narrator doesn't overexplain or take apart Ishimiko's interactions like for Prezguya, but all the evidence needed is there. And I gotta add the very next chapter to the staircase one is the "eternal love" x "real love" I'm super fond of that says fate is irrelevant and to find real love you must use your head to realize/understand things, so makes the romantic subtext even greater.)

This whole affair is also making me open my eyes that I should try to study japanese more...of course I'm happy to have translations and scanlators working hard, but there is something inherently lost in adaptations because it robs you of connecting with the author's intentions unless it was the author who wrote the translation in the first place

Thinking back on Ishigami's early "i wanna die/i'm going home/don't look at me" role, it seems unbelievable we're at the point he's now able to directly confront a "stranger" (lololol) or make serious promises with so much confidence.

PLEASE DON'T END SO SOON MANGA, I NEED MORE.

( off-topic kind of, but i'm lazy to make a separate post just for it: Since I mentioned things lost in translation, I saw something on Discord about Ishigami having an unreliable narrator moment in the "compliments" chapter/Iino Miko cannot love part 4 and holy molly, it is true. He first says something akin to "You're just too beautiful" out of context, Miko HEARS IT - and that's why she looks so shocked before asking for clarification - and he DID SAY IT in the speech bubble, but after she's nice to him and he thinks back to what he said he adds a "Your handwriting is just too beautiful" to his flashback. I'm ONTO HIM. ONTO HIM I SAY. It is what he meant, but it's like his mouth betrayed him. Whether it's unconscious or denial...it totally is something. The scanlation completely skips this and had the same line both times it's mentioned.)

[kerie-prince]

the memory of you pt. 1

Gilderoy Lockhart x Healer!reader

requested: (anon) Omg thank you! If you want to write any kind of Lockhart scenario that suggests NSFW stuff then I'd totally be cool with whatever you come up with 😊 thanks again so much! ❤️

warnings: none

summary: After helping Gilderoy deal with his memory loss and get him out of St. Mungo's, you couldn't help but fall for his charm once more when he finds you on the streets of London.

a/n: I THOUGHT I QUEUED THIS 💀 i sat here at work thinking 'damn, no one liked my post? k 😭' anyways, i'm gonna break this into two parts before it gets too long lmao. bold italics are flashbacks

(gif not mine, cred to owner)

You worked with a certain celebrity for quite a while now. He was brought in one day without knowing who he was, where he came from, and how he ended up in a weird cave. His residence at St. Mungo’s where you worked lasted for a while. Other Healers declared that there was no way to recover his memory, but he didn’t seem to mind. Gilderoy was perfectly content with being happy and healthy even if he didn't know what was going on.

He was so sweet. Never gave you or any of your colleagues any trouble. He took his potions with ease, didn't make a fuss when bringing him from one room to another, and held conversations as normal. His family would visit him on occasion and it pained you to watch him not know them. But overall, he was happy.

After two years at St. Mungos, Gilderoy was let go considering that even though his memories were gone, he had enough mental stability to be out in public. Gilderoy had to go to a private academy to re-learn magic basics in adult classes. You remember the night before he left.

“So nice to start my life tomorrow,” Gilderoy had his signature smile on. He ate his dinner on his own without the help of Healers.

“Your life has already started, you just don't remember is all,” you corrected. You were preparing his bed for the last time. Since it's his last night, you were able to grab an extra pillow for him to be comfortable.

“Yes, but tomorrow I'll start a life I can remember. I'll make new memories.” Gilderoy stood up from his small table and walk to his hospital bed. He always loved the way you prepared his bed. How you fluffed the pillow, folded the blankets back neatly, and made sure the bed was warm. It wasn't special treatment as you did it for all patients, but he appreciated it all the same.

“Good night, Miss Y/L/N,” he said.

“Good night, Mr. Lockhart,” you replied.

Two years later, you're still working at St. Mungos. You've seen patients come and go since then. None quite as cooperative as Gilderoy, but they weren't all bad either.

The London streets were busy as usual today. It was slightly cloudy, but luckily it wasn't raining. And thank Merlin because you didn't have an umbrella with you. Cabs were driving right past you as you stood by the sidewalk trying to catch one. Once one stopped in front of you and you were about to climb in, another hand also grabbed for the handle. “Miss Y/L/N?”

Gilderoy stood next to you, eyes gleaming and wore his charming smile. He looked as happy as he always did. “Mr. Lockhart, hello.” It was a pleasant run in, and you'd love to chat but you had to be at work soon. It seemed that he noticed your uniform as well. “Oh, go ahead. I'll call for another one.”

“Thank you, Mr. Lockhart.” You opened the door but before you could close it, Gilderoy said one last thing. “I hope to see you again!” He waved at you as you left and kept at it until you were out of sight.

His wish was granted three months later; he was walking around the same street for probably the 4th time that week. He wasn't ashamed to admit that after that day he ran into you, he wanted to see you again. You were with a couple of friends at a pub one night celebrating a proper weekend off. Gilderoy followed you in, a bit of people that recognized him stopped him to say ‘hi’ but of course, he doesn't know them. They were fans of his before the memory loss. They took a few pictures and he went walking after you. You were seen sitting at a bar table by yourself waiting for your friends to come back from the restroom.

Gilderoy walked up to you slowly, “Hello, Miss Y/L/N.” You recognized him and by pure habit, you gave him your work smile and voice, “Good evening, Mr. Lockhart.”

“Please, call me Gilderoy,” he requested.

“Gilderoy,” you reached your hand out to shake his, “you can call me Y/N.” His smile changed, not one that you've seen in magazines and papers, but a more humble one. His cheeks became a bit rosy and he looked like he was flustered. “So, how have you been?” he asked. You took a quick sip of the water that was on the table before continuing the conversation, “I’ve been good! Just been working all the time. How about you? I bet so many great things have been going with you?”

“Not really. Since I didn't know much about my life before I was admitted in, I didn't know where to start. So I lived with my mother for a while, but now I’m on my own.” Seeing Gilderoy be so humble was a sight to see. A once self-centered, proud man has turned into a sweet, kind one. You almost wanted to thank whoever did this to him, not knowing it was actually Gilderoy who had accidentally done this to myself. “Well, are you working right now?” you asked him.

“No, I don’t really have anything to offer,” he looked down.

“That’s not true, you…” you stopped to think about what it was that Gilderoy could do. And unfortunately, it wasn't much. When word had gone out that he had actually stolen credit for all the things he had claimed to have done, people wondered if he was good at anything.

Gilderoy laughed at your blank expression. You felt bad. “Well, I’m sure you’re good at something.” You patted his shoulder gently across the table. Your friends came back from the restroom after what felt like twenty minutes. “Oh! It’s Gilderoy Lockhart, so nice to meet you,” each of them shook his hand. “What brings you here?”

Suddenly, he was embarrassed to say that he was spending weeks trying to find you. “Oh, I was just around. I walked inside and recognized Y/N. Thought I’d say hello,” he felt a bit nervous at that moment. “Well I best be going. I don't want to intrude. Have a good evening.” Gilderoy was about to leave until one of your friends called out for him, “No, stay! I’m sure Y/N would love to catch up with you, isn't that right?” You weren't sure if it would be appropriate to hang out with a former patient. Sure, it’s been a couple years since then, but you've never had any patients become even acquaintances, let alone friends. But the look in Gilderoy’s eyes that were basically begging you to say ‘yes’ hit something in you. “If you’re not doing anything else tonight, I'm sure we would like your company tonight.”

Gilderoy was funnier than he seemed to be. Being one of the Healers that worked with him for nearly four years, you never knew about this. He was telling the story of the first time he had used the levitation spell during his adult classes and he accidentally made his professor levitate and not the inanimate object on the table. Slightly tipsy, you and your friends laughed so hard trying to picture the situation. Gilderoy said he panicked and when he tried to let him down, the professor fell from ten feet in the air on his head and passed out. Luckily, he wasn't kicked out to the class but it was certainly something the professor never let him live down.

By the end of the night, your friends had gotten plastered and left for home. You were fine; your tipsy state was gone. You made sure your friends were set in the cab and told the cabbie their addresses. Gilderoy stood behind you and watched as you took care of your friends. It was different than when you worked, but it brought back memories when you took care of him.

When the cab drove off, you turned to look at the blond man. “Well, it was great seeing you, Mr. Lock– Gilderoy,” you quickly corrected yourself. You nodded and started walking down the street before he called for you again. “W-would you like to take a walk?” You thought about it, the same thought from earlier. But you've already shared a few drinks with him, so a walk wouldn't hurt. The sky was clear and although the stars were faint, there were a couple large ones that you could point out. You walked in silence for a couple minutes until you spoke up, “The weather’s nice.” He nodded quietly. It wasn't odd for him, but it was for you. It was odd to see him not as talkative as he used to be. You supposed that when you have your memories wiped, your personality could be affected as well. But he was still somewhat himself when he was a patient, so this change must have happened in the past two years. You hoped that nothing bad happened in that time.

It was getting later and later, but something about Gilderoy was different and you liked being around this sort of new him. He’s more inviting compared to how he was when he was a celebrity. The feeling of it being weird with him outside of work was gone, and something else started. You wanted to get to know him as a person again.

You checked the time on your wristwatch and decided that you should head home eventually. “It was nice seeing you tonight. I hope to see you again,” you grinned. His eyes lit up as he looked at you, “I would love that. Maybe we can have tea sometime?”

“I’d like that. Goodnight, Gilderoy.”

“Good night, Y/N.” He signaled a cab for you and like he did the last time, he waved until he couldn't see you anymore.

—

requests open!

[frisbee-camp]

Let Me Help (Complete!)

AO3 Link//Wattpad Link

Tj and Cyrus have been friends for a long time, but will that change after life comes crashing down and impulsive decisions catch up to them? (Angst, Ambi, love notes, slow burn, aged up so they're all in high school, god tier ships, mental health, and like a whole bunch more ladies! Let’s get this angst.)

Chapter 17 Eventually

Cyrus groaned, he didn't know what time it was or how he ended up directly under a skylight, but he did know that he didn't want to get out of bed. He breathed in deeply only to be hit with a pulsing headache, he rolled over into the pillow. He fell back to sleep. When he opened his eyes again, the light was twice as harsh as before. He rolled onto his side and was met with one of Tj's black and white movie posters, this one read Masculin Féminin above French words Cyrus didn't understand. He was in Tj's room, he had seen him at his messiest and he didn't abandon him. Cyrus grinned at the thought. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, Cyrus then realized that he was still in his dress shirt. He sighed and looked around the room, his eyes landed on a neatly folded pile of clothes at the foot of the bed. He dragged himself to the pile and picked up the note placed on top. He opened it, it read Thought you might like these, meet me in the kitchen. The note was on top of a pile of Tj's hoodies, a towel, and a fluffy light purple blanket. Cyrus smiled and heaved himself to the bathroom to take a shower. "Good afternoon sleepy head," Tj smiled at him as Cyrus walked into the kitchen. Cyrus sat on the countertop. TJ was scrambling eggs, he turned down his sad indie music. "What time is it? I think I lost my phone." Cyrus still had his eyes half closed but at least now he was in Tj's hoodie and had a blanket around his shoulders. "It's 2" Tj stood in front of Cyrus, he combed his fingers through Cyrus' unruly hair and chuckled. "Post meridiem?" "Yes Cyrus, pm," Tj hummed and put something in the toaster, Cyrus yawned. "Where's Amber?" Cyrus vaguely remembered being put into her car yesterday. "In her room with Andi, Buffy went with Marty and Jonah and them," TJ had glasses on again, Cyrus grinned at the sight. "How long have you been up?" Cyrus rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand. "Not long, and you didn't lose your phone, Amber has it." The memories of last night flushed over Cyrus, he remembered singing or screaming or both, standing on a table, and Tj kissing him. He blushed furiously, TJ noticed. "Do you remember anything?" Tj asked him quietly. "A little," more like only the first twenty minutes. "Here," Tj pulled out his phone and scrolled through his photos. He showed Cyrus a dark video of him and Andi singing a horrible rendition of Defying Gravity from Wicked, it was completely embarrassing, to say the least. "Oh my god," Cyrus hid his face in his hands and leaned on TJ's chest, "was I really that messy?" "Oh don't worry Muffin, we were both trashed," Tj showed him drunk selfies Tj and Cyrus took last night. They both looked incredibly gone. They couldn't stop laughing at each other, it was fantastic. TJ went over to take the bagels out of the toaster. He handed a plate with cream cheese, bagels, and eggs to Cyrus who gladly inhaled it. Tj leaned on the counter and looked at Cyrus very intently, "Cyrus," he said. Cyrus's stomach dropped, did he look horrible all of a sudden? Was TJ about to dump him? "Yes?" he said carefully putting down his bagel. He was about to break up with him, he was sure of it. Cyrus had been trying very hard to look as happy as he could now that he was with TJ, but what if TJ saw straight through that? Suddenly loving yourself is impossible, but Cyrus was working on it. At least now he knew he had someone who understood him. He didn't want to lose TJ already, it was too soon. It was too new, it was still awkward. Did he scare Tj off already?  "I meant everything I said last night."Cyrus didn't know what he was talking about. "What did you say last night?" Cyrus wrapped the blanket tighter around himself. "That," Tj looked down and chewed on his lip, "That I don't know what I'd do without you and that I think I'm in love with you." Cyrus fought back tears, Tj didn't mean it. He couldn't have meant it. He was still dreaming, Tj was probably still drunk. Cyrus cast his eyes down and said very quietly, "I don't think I'm what you want TJ." He didn't want TJ to get his hopes up, he didn't want anyone else to be disappointed in him. TJ lightly placed his palm on Cyrus' cheek, "Cyrus don't say that-" "But it true, I can't do anything right, everyone says I'm a wimp, and you probably only kissed me yesterday because you were drunk," Cyrus played with the strings of TJ's hoodie, he was pouting. TJ smirked and gently stroked Cyrus' cheekbone, "So that's what this is about?" "What?" Cyrus said looking up. "You just want me to kiss you again." Cyrus' eyes widened, his nose pinked, he quickly looked up at TJ. It wasn't the only reason, but Cyrus did want to kiss him again, he couldn't really feel the last one. "I knew it," Tj gave a shy smile, Cyrus didn't know where his words had gone.  Cyrus slowly blinked and inched himself closer to Tj, he brought his hand up to TJ's cheek. Tj gave a small smile and looked down. Cyrus' heart definitely was not about to slow down anytime soon, he took in a shallow breath. It wasn't his first kiss, but this one was the most important. Cyrus lightly traced TJ's laughter line and bumped noses with TJ. Tj finally closed the gap. It was sweet and not as disgusting as last night's, this time Cyrus could actually feel Tj's lips. They were surprisingly soft, Cyrus didn't want to pull away. His insides felt as fuzzy as the blanket around him, he let out a soft giggle. When he opened his eyes TJ said, "You know," he was leaning on the countertop again, "You were the one that kissed me first yesterday," he bit into a bagel. "I, Wha-" Cyrus stammered. How could he have forgotten that? "Tyler should we get a cat?" Said a bellowing voice, Cyrus was startled, he almost got off the counter but TJ gave him an encouraging tap saying it was alright to stay. A woman lightly strolled into the kitchen wearing a bright pink fur-lined robe, she held a canned bloody mary. "Hey mom, why do you want a cat?" TJ chuckled and handed her a bagel as she gave him a sloppy kiss on the cheek. "Why not, do you want one or no?" Tj's mom briskly looked over Cyrus then looked back at her son. "Whatever you want mom," TJ nodded to Cyrus, "This is Cyrus, you know about him." "Ah yes, Cyrus," she raised a very sharp eyebrow, "Do you think we should get a cat?" She very much expected him to answer her question. Cyrus was taken aback, he looked towards TJ for support, "Um." TJ gave him an amused smile and an equally sharp raised eyebrow. Cyrus saw the resemblance. "Wouldn't a little kitten be cute? We could name her petunia or daisy, right Cyrus?" The woman was very blonde, Cyrus thought she looked like a star from one of TJ's old French movies. "Well," Cyrus cleared his throat, "cats are very good pets Mrs. Kippen, they're clean and self-sufficient." Cyrus gave his best polite smile despite having a horrible headache. "Oh, I like you, Cyrus. You can stay," the woman gave a blinding smile. "Mom," Tj said through gritted teeth. Tj's mom ruffled her son's hair and said, "Alright Tyler don't be rude, I'll pick up a kitten this afternoon. I'm grabbing lunch with your father, call the police if you need anything." She picked up her purse and walked out of the kitchen in a flourish. Cyrus didn't speak until he heard the front door close. "Is she going outside in a robe?" Cyrus was very confused at what just happened.  TJ leaned his elbows on the kitchen counter and played with the blanket wrapped around Cyrus, "Yea," he said, "She always buys clothes in a robe. She says it clears her mind. She used to take me and Amber when we were younger." "I like her," Cyrus said cracking a smile. TJ laughed to himself, "Yea, people usually do." Cyrus wished he had eccentric parents, instead, he got two sets of boring, thoughtful, and sensible adults. He loved him, but they were drab. "What does she do?" Cyrus asked him. TJ gave Cyrus another bagel and said, "She's a realtor but," he took in a breath, "she's not very good at selling houses. She usually just drinks wine with her friends and gambles with our dad." "How chaotic," Cyrus said, maybe he didn't need quirky parents, stability was nice. TJ smiled up at him and leaned on Cyrus' thigh, "They try to be good parents, but sometimes it doesn't work out very well. That's why Amber and I try to do our own things, they can be a lot to handle and that's just our mom. You haven't met our dad yet." "Do you want me to?" Cyrus asked. He had known that there was something up with Tj's family life, but he didn't know it was this hectic. "If you want to meet him, I don't know when though. I barely see him as it is," Tj roughly ran a hand through his own fluffy dirty blonde hair, Cyrus nudged it away and replaced it with his own gentler hand. "Do you want to meet my parents? I think they'd like you," he said as he ran his fingers through Tj's hair. "Do you want me to?" Tj looked up at him and smiled. Cyrus would do anything for that smile. "I think so," Cyrus said smiling. TJ stood up and turned his music back on. Cyrus affectionally rolled his eyes, he was trying very hard to live in the moment. He hadn't had a depressive episode in a while, but he knew the new medication he was taking wouldn't kick in for a couple months. Some days were better than others, but at least he had TJ to help him through it. At least he didn't feel as alone.  TJ grabbed the dirty dishes from him and started washing them, Cyrus hopped off the counter and went to help, but TJ blocked his way. "Tyler James!" Cyrus said laughing, "Let me help!" THE END