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#because you do not look the same as you used to. your body has different physics than it used to
tinystarbites · 5 hours
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accidents pt. 1.5 | Spencer Reid x Reader
Okay so, WOW. I am completely blown away by the response to my first fic on here, 120 followers in 6 days are you guys okay? Because I am definitely not :,). While accidents pt. II isnt quite finished just yet (thank you so much for being so patient with me<3 uni is kicking my ass already rip), I thought I'd give you all a small sneak peek, aka the first 800-ish words of the second part. I hope you enjoy and thank you all so so much for the generous feedback so far!! <333 I'll go rewatch my genetics lecture now yippie :,,,,)
here you can read the entire first part, please head the warnings! Same ones apply here. also, if you wanna get tagged in pt. II, let me know in the comments!
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Spencer’s never sprung from his bed faster in his life before.
His heart is a jackhammer in his chest, chipping away at his ribs one bone splitter at a time because-
It’s you. In front of his door. And Spencer is so hard it hurts but- he can’t just-
“Spencer?”
He sucks in a haggard breath, hands reaching up and messing up his hair even more. His thoughts are everywhere and nowhere at once and he just needs to- needs just a moment to-
“Uh, yeah, just a second!”, he calls back, voice scratchy and used from the- the moaning Jesus Christ because he was about to come with your mental image and he somehow, magically, managed to apparently conjure you up in front of his door with his pathetic pining and oh god-
He has to- ugh- has to wash his hands and make it go away and –
“Okay, I’ll just…chill with that weird plant here.”
An overwhelmed whimper slips past his lips and he just, stands there for at least another five seconds before something in his mind snaps back into place and he rushes to the small, adjacent bathroom of his room.
After he thoroughly washed his hands, his erection has flagged off enough so that it’s not the first thing greeting you when he opens the door and thank god for that.
And oh- seeing you after doing that actually knocks the wind out of his lungs because you are just so goddamn lovely it makes Spencer want to do stupid, stupid things like cry or kiss you or spontaneously combust into a million pieces.
For once, he does something okay-ishly sensible though.
“Hi.”
You look at him, one eyebrow raised in amusement or scepticism, he doesn’t know for sure. Your eyes hold mirthful sparkles in them when he finally manages to meet your gaze, so he settles for the former of the two options.
You’re not wearing your work clothes anymore. Rather, you went for a cozy looking, oversized sweater and funkily patterned leggings. Your fashion sense outside of work always reminded Spencer of Penelope’s.
“Hi to yourself”, you chuckle, “Can I come in or are you too busy reading ten books at once?”
Spencer feels himself flush under your gentle teasing.
“Only seven books. But, yes, of course you can come in.”
He turns out of the way, creating room for you to pass him into his room. As soon as you are inside, you don’t hesitate to jump onto his bed and flop on your back with your arms spread wide.
Spencer’s breath hitches and he has to do some very extensive mental gymnastics to supress all the inappropriate thoughts from escaping the box he banished them into. Controlling his body’s response to seeing you in the same bed he was just jacking off in is… a different story. He pulls down the hem of his shirt as discreetly as possible, as he takes a seat next to you. Making sure that there is not too much distance between you two as to raise any suspicion and make it obvious he’s trying to get some distance between you, but also enough space so that he isn’t enticed to do anything unwise. Like, reach out and feel your warmth underneath his fingers. Or the softness of your skin. Or anything else really.
The more seconds tick by in which neither of you say anything, the more nervous Spencer becomes. He starts fiddling around with his fingers, aborting more than one move to steal a glance at your face to see what you’re thinking.
“Spencer”, you then finally say, voice kind of pout-y and if that didn’t make Spencer whip his head around to face you, the next thing you say for sure does. “Do you hate me?”
“Wha-“, he sputters your name, “No- no! Of course, I don’t- whe- why would you think that?”
You let out an exasperated groan, moving around until you are lying on your side, head propped up on your arm and frowning up at him. “Because you’ve been acting hella weird these last few days and you won’t tell me whyyyy”, you drag out the last syllable, pout on your lips and Spencer has to look up at the ceiling or else he’s just going to confess everything without second thought and that will definitely not happen.
“I haven’t been acting weird, really, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
You remain silent again and Spencer feels the judging glare you send his way without having to look at you. Yes, he has been acting weird, he knows that, but you can never ever know the reason why tha-
“Is it because you saw my nudes?”
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oh spencer, you weren't quite as subtle as you thought. rip my boy. also whooops another cliffhanger? haha my fingers must've slipped my bad
tags: @sebastiansstanswhore @xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx
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chippedshake · 2 days
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Ponyboy stands in front of the mirror, fifteen and one month old. His hair is longer than it used to be, and the still-blond tips brush his shoulders.
There are scissors in his hands.
"Glory, he looks different with his hair like that."
Ponyboy squeezes his eyes shut, hands gripping the sink for balance. The metal scissors clang against it.
"It used to look tuff. You and Soda had the coolest-lookin' hair in town."
He tries to imagine himself a year and a month ago. Squared off in the back, long at the front and sides. It looked real tuff.
He'd complained so much when he had to cut it off, making everything impossible for Johnny, and now he can't make himself bring it back to normal?
"Oh, come on, Ponyboy, it'll grow back."
It did. And now he doesn't know what to do with it.
"Oh shoot, it's just hair."
The front door slams open.
"Honey, I'm ho-ome!"
"I never shoulda showed you that," Steve grumbles
"Well, ya did, and now ya gotta deal with it." Ponyboy can hear the grin in Soda's voice.
Loud footsteps go into the kitchen.
"Hey, ain't Pony s'pposed to be home already?"
"Prolly is, just up in his room with a book. Wouldn’t notice a twister a foot away if he was reading."
Steve snorts. "You up for a game of cards?"
"Sure. I gotta go change first though."
"Ya mean you gotta go stick an ace in your shoe?"
"Somethin' like that."
Soda's voice trails away as he makes his way to his room, but Steve's has grown closer and closer, and Ponyboy knows he's going to see him and ask questions that he doesn't want to answer, but he can't move from where his hands still grip the sink, scissors trapped against it.
"Hey, kid." Ponyboy looks up and meets Steve's eyes through the mirror. He's standing in the doorway, one hand gripping the frame, whole body tense with discomfort, his face drawn with the same worry that strings through his voice. "You want me to get Soda?"
Ponyboy shakes his head and tries to subtly wipe his eyes. It'd be a new low to cry in front of Steve.
Steve's eyes flicker from Ponyboy's face to the scissors in his hand and his ungreased hair. He grimaces when he notices the tears, like he's not sure what to do with them.
"You know, cutting it off don't mean you'll forget them. You've still got a lotta memories that ain't in your hair. Better ones, too."
Steve's tone is matter-of-fact, but soft, softer than it's ever been. To Ponyboy, at least.
Like how Dally's voice reached a high, pleading tone it'd never reached before when they were speeding down that dirt road.
"I know..." Ponyboy whispers, and Steve leans in to hear him better. "It's just the last thing I got from them."
"That ain't true," Steve says. "You got both of their jackets and that book y'all read in the church. You even got the pictures you drew of them."
"Yeah, I know. It just ain't the same." His voice still won't come out above a whisper, but Steve seems to hear him just fine.
"Shoot, kid, I know that." He steps forward and sits down on the closed toilet seat. "But you can't live your life for them. They're gone. And they ain't comin' back. If you wanna remember 'em the right way, you gotta forget them sometimes."
Ponyboy thinks about the last year. About his bookmark that's been on page 118 for five months because Johnny would never get to read any pages after. About all the movie posters he's seen come and go because it wouldn’t be the same to watch them without Johnny. About the blade that's always in his back pocket that he can't stand to look at. About the time he brawled with Curly and then started crying because Dally had been the one to teach him how to throw a punch.
About how every time he looks in the goddamn mirror, he gets scared by his own reflection and remembers the church.
Maybe Steve's right. Maybe if he wants to start living normally again, he needs to forget them sometimes.
"This just ain't us. It's like being in a Hallowe'en costume we can't get out of."
Johnny might never get out of his costume, but Ponyboy could. And he would do it. For Johnny. Because he wouldn’t want Ponyboy to live as a shell of who he once was.
But when he meets his own eyes in the mirror, he knows he can't bring himself to do it.
"Steve, you ever cut hair before?"
He looks up in surprise, and for a moment Ponyboy's scared he's going to laugh at him. Then he stands up and holds his hand out for the scissors.
"Can't imagine it's harder'n fixin' up a car."
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Jason: Kill him. Batman: No. Jason: Kill him. Batman: No. Jason: Kill him! Batman: No! Joker: Can I kill myself to escape this nightmare of awkward father son tension? Jason and Batman: Shut up! Jason: Ignore me, like you did when I died, what about the countless lives he’s taken, what about Barb, what about the shit he’s put all of us through for some sick joke? And if you didn’t want to do it because of those reasons, what about me? I wanted to ignore this but he took me away from you! Why not vindicate me? I thought I was your son! Joker: Guess you weren’t that close. Jason snacks Joker with the crowbar a fifth time. Jason: Shut. The. Fuck. Up! Back to you, when I saw the bomb tick down, I accepted it. I accepted my death... I thought when I died, you'd kill him. Then I wake up and he's still alive. Why? Batman: I’ve contemplated torturing Joker in a private area. Make him feel pain from every nerve in his body, make it so that when I finally killed him I savor the light leaving his… eyes. But I don’t want to go to that dark place because that won’t fix crime. Jason: Stop joking. Batman: I'm not. Jason: You have to be. Batman: When have I ever joked with you in this suit?
Jason: It's not too late, because you can't be serious. It literally would fix one thing.. Him! Joker: Can you tell me what type of torture methods you’d perform on me? I might need to use those later. Jason points to Joker with his gun. Batman: If I kill I would never go back. I would kill the next one like him. Jason: Then fucking do that! You can't be arrested. You are friends with commissioner Gordon, who by the way, Joker shot his fucking daughter. You shot his daughter right? Joker: Yeah. Jason: Okay, so should I shoot him or do you want to? Batman: Joker would have to do something insanely unforgivable to make me kill him. Jason: ...He tricked my mom into handing me over and killed me. Horribly tortured me. Just want you to know I was legally dead for a time. Batman: That's different. Jason: Different how? Batman: You're here now.
Jason looks around. Jason: Am I on a hidden camera show? Because you did not say that as a defense. You can't be serious! Batman: It’s not right! Jason: Why? Go ahead tell me, why is it wrong to kill him and for me to kill irredeemable criminals. I'll wait, I have the detonator. Batman: Because when my parents died, I learned all life is valuable. Jason: Joseph Stalin. Batman: Okay, I - Jason: Charles Manson. Batman: Hold on, now he was- Jason: Jim Jones. Batman: Well they volunteered. Jason: Adolf Hitler, the Nazi soldiers who knowingly participated in the extermination of Jews and the ones who escaped to Brazil. Joker: I know I'm the one possibly dying, but he brought up a couple good examples. Batman: No, wait, because that's not the same. Joker is not the same as them. Jason: Okay, I will cancel out the world dictators and Manson. I'll do that... Jeffrey Dahmer, Ted Bundy, John Wayne Gacy, Wade Wilson! Batman: ... Jason: And again him torturing and killing your son isn't the line?
Batman: I told you not to fall for your mother's tricks. Jason: Are you resorting to gas lighting? While I have a bomb? We're doing that?! Batman: All I'm saying is when you got brought back you killed left and right. Jason: Yes, rapists and murderers. I don't kill shoplifters. Batman: Hypocrite. Jason: A shoplifter has a reason and doesn't go about killing someone. What rapists have you met that had a reason? Because rapists aren't redeemable, they're free game. Batman: Okay, last I checked murder is wrong! Jason: Yeah, it is! Jason points his gun Joker. Batman: ...A criminal is a criminal. I treat them all the same. Jason: Let's talk about Selina Kyle. Batman: Let's not do this. Jason: She gets a pass when she's attacked people to escape. If a criminal is a criminal then why isn't she in prison? Because she meows at you? Because you unironically like when she hits you with a whip? Because she talks in a fake sultry voice? I want to know why does she get a pass? Why Black Mask walks? Joker walks? Mr. Freeze walks? Tick tock detective. Batman: ... Jason: It bothers you, doesn't it? That I'm doing a better job at you? That I'm taking on businesses of the crime ridden area because I can admit that crime will never stop? That I kill murderers and rapists? Batman: It doesn't bother me... I just don't want you to do this. Jason: I'm not asking you to kill Selina or Riddler or Mr. Freeze. I want you to kill him. I'm not even mad at you for not stopping my death, I forgive you on that, but for the love of God, kill him! Please. I am begging you! Do you see this? I am begging you! Batman: I can't. I'm sorry. Jason: Okay you have two options. I kill Joker or... You kill me. Jason tosses Batman a gun that the man catches with ease. Batman: I regret the day I let you into my life... Not because of your fault, but my own. I gave you a good life with the life of a hero. So I won't kill him. I'm sorry. Jason: Hm... I guess you'll watch me kill him. This is great, I always wanted this moment with us. Jason grabs Joker and aims the gun at the cackling psychos head. Jason: I’m going to enjoy this! Batman: Dodge! Jason: What? Batman tosses a batarang at Jason’s neck, impaling it in the man's neck. Jason drops the gun and Joker in shock and pain as blood splurts out of his neck wound. Jason: You threw a batarang… at ME?! Batman: Oh shit, shit, shit! You were supposed to dodge! Jason: You pulled a Piccolo on me!? Batman: I thought you would dodge. I shouted dodge! Jason: You thought I would read your damn mind, toss Joker aside, dodge and then not shoot him. Batman stays silent. Jason and Joker: Oh my God you did. GREAT, NOW I'M AGREEING WITH HIM! Jason yanks the Batarang out of his neck. He looks at the Batarang, silent and shaking. Jason: You know... maybe in a few years we can laugh about this, but for...I'm sorry too. Jason presses the detonator managing to escape along with Batman. Joker is crushed by the debris of the buildings, but alive.
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jelzorz · 2 days
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Oh boy oh boy if you're taking ficlet requests, how about Opeli making sure Soren doesn't collapse of exhaustion while he's supervising rescue efforts and providing aid in the aftermath of Sol Regem's attack?
193.
It's all kind of a blur afterwards. Soren chalks it up to being exhausted from, well, everything, but it's not like there's been time to rest between it all anyway. There are too many wounded, too many dead, too few supplies to share between the too many refugees, and he has enough to deal with without the grief creeping along the edges of his mind, waiting for him to feel it and to process it on top of everything else. The physical labour is hard, but he's used to that. The emotional labour...
Well. It can wait.
So he heads out to the castle ruins with different groups of soldiers and volunteers to salvage what little they can. He moves rubble and bodies and supplies, helps pitch tents and herd children, tends to the wounded with the limited training he has. He's worn thin and he knows this. He hasn't slept for more than a couple of hours since the attack and he knows this too. He knows because Opeli keeps telling him to rest and Corvus keeps telling him to sleep and they're just as tired as he is, but neither of them stop, so why should he?
It's been a week. A little more he thinks, but he doesn't really know because the days have started to bleed to into each other and the rise and fall of the sun doesn't really mean anything in light of everything that's going on. He knows that the others had all come back the morning after the attack, and he knows Ezran had given the order to move everyone to the Banther Lodge after a couple of nights at the temples, but beyond that, all Soren knows is the ache in his muscles and the precarious uneven rhythm of his next step, and the one after, and the one after that.
He's sitting by the fire tonight. There's a pile of damaged armour beside him that he doesn't really know how to repair but the blacksmith didn't make it and the Banther Lodge works, but they're still sitting ducks out here. Damaged armour won't do them any favours. There's no room to lose anybody else. He's fixing the leather in a bracer when they find him, Corvus and Opeli, both tired, both weary, both obviously concerned.
"'Sup," greets Soren absently.
Corvus and Opeli glance at each other.
"We've been ordered to rest," says Corvus.
Soren snorts. "How's that going for you?"
Opeli twitches her lips. "I can't refuse an order from the king," she says drily, "but more importantly, neither can you."
Soren pauses in his work and raises an eyebrow.
"You need to rest," says Corvus, taking the bracer from him and shoving the pile of armour over with his foot. He takes a seat next to him without waiting for an invitation and Opeli does the same on his other side, already frowning at the bandage she'd placed over the cut on his forehead.
"You've split your stitches again," she says, her disapproval obvious.
"I'm fine," mutters Soren. He tries to snatch the bracer back but Corvus holds it purposefully out of reach.
"You need to rest," says Corvus again, tossing it back into the pile and kicking the whole stack of it further away. "We all do," he adds pointedly to Opeli, who wrinkles her nose petulantly and draws her knees to her chest.
"I'm not arguing," she mutters. "But whether or not we do relies on Soren, doesn't it?"
Soren stares at them both. Corvus actually smirks.
"We made a deal with Ezran," he says somewhat smugly. "I don't need a break—"
"Yes you do," snorts Opeli.
"But I wouldn't take one unless Opeli took one—"
"And I won't take one unless you do." Opeli gives him a look then, her usual stern-faced glare laced with something stubborn and a little sour, but something hopeful too: an opportunity to rest mandated by someone else that she won't feel guilty for taking. "So whether or not we get to take a break is up to you, really," she says.
Soren pauses. Then he scowls at them both. "That's a dirty trick."
"It's pretty fair actually," says Corvus, stretching out beside him. "You need to rest, Soren. If not for yourself, then for the people who care about you."
"And you do have people who care about you," says Opeli. "You must know that."
There's another pause. Corvus leans into him on one side and, hesitantly, Opeli does the same on the other, their warmth a comfort against the evening cold, their weight a ward against the feelings he isn't quite ready to feel.
He doesn't remember closing his eyes, but when he opens them, it's dawn. The morning is quiet. The fire is out. Corvus has shifted so that his head rests on Soren's shoulder and Opeli has tucked herself under his arm in her sleep. The blanket draped over them is scratchy but warm.
Soren lets himself go back to sleep.
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machveil · 2 days
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Beautiful, cute, dulzura, A quick question, do you have any advice for drawing? I see your drawings and I just fell in love with them, I just started drawing again but it's difficult...
I don't know, sorry, English is not my first language, using translator jiji 🤎🍁
(note: this post is long, grab a snack lol) ah! no problem, don’t worry about the translator haha (pinterest link - this is my masterboard for human references! I’ll talk about it more below)
I think my best advice for anyone wanting to draw is to break down your piece into shapes! (also, depending on your style, using different line weights)
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from my experience, while looking at the whole reference is good, it’s easier to break down individual parts! while some parts can look complicated, a lot of things can be broken down into triangles, squares, and circles (or half circles)
I focus on character art, so I’ll be speaking about that - but it can applied to scenery and objects too. a lot of characters clothes are broken up into colored articles already - in the top reference, Ghost has a red bandanna on his arm! that bandanna helps break up his arm: the top near his shoulder is triangular, the bandanna itself is overall rectangular, and the bottom of his sleeve is a square
of course, depending on how you’re posing the character it can change the angle of what we’re seeing - there’s also an accommodation that your art probably won’t be a 1-to-1 copy with your reference. Ghost’s right arm (bandanna) has a white rolled up sleeve - while the model’s sleeve is square, I prefer to draw rolled sleeves more triangular
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I think line weight is also important depending on your style! I prefer thicker lines around the entire character, and defining qualities also get thicker lines
I like thinner lines inside the character to help define dimensional shape and form. I use thicker lines on the inside of the body if there’s a shape/area that’s more in the foreground - example: König’s chest and midsection have thick line art to help differentiate from his left arm (behind his body)
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I know a common piece of advice is to use real life references, and I agree… but, I never hear people talk about how to use references in a way that actually helps (“just draw from real life”, or “drawing with a reference is good practice”). I experienced that and wasn’t able to take anything away for years!
within the past year or so I seriously took a look at how using references can help me, so I want to try and talk about that - if I had trouble learning from references I’d wager someone else has
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here’s my best example of using a reference because I actually remembered to! I labeled the figure to make it a little easier to follow
(1) my first tip is using a reference to figure out how the body ‘flows’. the human body has a lot of soft, rounded lines when you look at a picture - very few things are legitimately straight and sharp. I used the reference specifically to figure out how men’s pecs are shaped (of course, this is just one reference… because this is my headcanon for König’s body type haha)
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(1) looking at references can help you understand how muscles move. in the reference with the woman, you notice how her right arm (down) muscles are layered - the shape portrayed by the reference lets you see how an arm’s muscles might be laid out in that position
(2) my second tip from the König reference is to look at negative space! the highlighted red portion between the arm and midsection is roughly the same negative space as the reference. if you’re using a reference and something feels off with the placement of what you’ve drawn I’d recommend looking at the space your reference takes up
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(2) the negative space trick helps me line up where proportions should meet up - the distance between her arms lets me gauge how the rest of her body should be proportioned
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(2) while it doesn’t match up 1-to-1 with the reference when layered overtop, it doesn’t have to! the negative space between the arms was enough for the sketch to mimic what the reference looks like. art doesn’t have to be a 1-to-1, but negative space can help you figure out ‘why does that arm look funny?’, “that arm looks funny because, compared to the negative space of your reference, it’s too (far away/close) to the body.”
(3) my last tip is the simplest, so I’ll just be referring to the König figure! when using references I look to gauge the distance between different body parts - it helps me get more realistic proportions. the bit I specifically compared to was the man’s stomach placement compared to his waist. I didn’t copy it 1-to-1 because I like the idea König has more of a tummy, but the reference allowed me to figure out an anatomical placement for where König’s stomach would be compared to his waist
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I hope my advice wasn’t terrible haha everyone’s art journey is different, but these are tips I would have liked to know a few years ago (specifically the reference material ones lol). I wanted to focus more on the reference material because when people say ‘just use a reference, it’ll help’ it didn’t do it for me
I personally needed a more in depth explanation on why I would use a reference, what should I be looking at - because just drawing a person doesn’t necessarily help, and how should I be learning from it - I accidentally taught myself negative space before I knew what it was
but uhm… yeah, I hope this wasn’t awful! good luck on everyone’s art journeys, just remember that you’re allowed to take your time and try different things
if you guys have any other questions about my art feel free to jump into my inbox; process wise, inspiration, etc - I’ll answer anything I can<3
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infiniteko · 2 days
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Q: "I have tried very hard to get into a state of non-duality. But that doesn’t work for me, why?"
by Being_is_IT / Twitter
BeingIs: When you work so hard to try to reach a special state to feel comfortable, such a state is imaginary. All seemingly state is SELF and SELF has no idea of states. Uncomfortable state is SELF and comfortable state is the same SELF, there is no actual difference. Your effort to establish a special state is itself an illusion. Feeling uncomfortable? It’s a great opportunity to see the interpretation of the Mind. Feeling comfortable? It’s the same opportunity to see the interpretation of the Mind.
All conclusions you reached are none other than the interpretation of the Mind. And without exception, all interpretation of the Mind is not valid. So, you don’t really know what is going on. When you realize that you don’t really know what is going on, congratulations! You know SELF directly. Let us look at your imagined state of non-duality. Does such a state exist? No, it does not!
Because the present moment is already non-dual by default. There is nothing for you to do, all present moment is already non-dualistic. However, only that the Mind interprets the present moment as multiplicity and diversity. The Mind’s interpretation is not actually established. The Mind mistakes a perfect SELF as seemingly multiplicity and diversity.
The Mind’s interpretation is harmless, not a problem. However, taking the Mind’s interpretation as your reality, you will get into suffering seemingly. Let me put it in a different way, seemingly diversity is not actual diversity, it’s just a seeming only. SELF can be analogized as Infinite Radiant Energy. Such infinite energy can appear as infinitely diverse, but don’t be fooled by the appearances, SELF remains as SELF no matter how it looks.
Please see that the images of other people as your very own energetic texture or patterns, do not take them as independently existing people. Please see that the seemingly events that’s happening as your very own energetic texture or patterns, do not see them as actual or concrete events happening. Such direct seeing is very subtle because the Mind will keep claiming that it’s seeing concrete “people, events and objects”. You will also directly see the Mind is making all kinds of assumptions. When your sensitivity is not keen, you will mistake the Mind’s assumption as your reality, and fall into the Mind’s assumption as if it’s your reality.
When your sensitivity is increased, you will be able to discern that none of the Mind’s assumptions are actually established as valid. When you see energetic patterns as energetic patterns rather than “people, events, objects, world, space, time”, does such change of perspective cause trouble in your daily life? Not really. You are free to function as if you are a person while profoundly knowing that you are Infinite Radiant Energy itself.
You are free to work with others. You are free to enjoy a seemingly good living condition. You are free to try to avoid a seemingly terrible living condition. You are free to make money or lose money. You are free to get married or stay single. Please notice, they are all energetic patterns that don’t matter at all as long as you don’t mistake such energetic patterns as actual story and events.
When you realize that dream is just an insubstantial dream, will it harm you? Even if you see that a body is being beaten up by gangsters in a dream, will it actually harm you? A best example is dreaming. In dreaming experience, the dreaming Mind assumes that it’s seeing “people, events and objects”.
Are there actual people, events and objects inside a dreaming experience? Of course not. But the Mind obviously can see “people, events and objects” inside a dreaming experience. It takes sensitivity to see that the Mind’s assumption is incorrect. The seemingly “people, events, objects” in a dreaming experience is just a seeming only. Nothing more than just a seeming.
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gothushi · 20 hours
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ultimatum
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pairing: simon x f!reader
warning: angst, physical alteration, mention of blood, creampie
note: went in a bit of a different direction for this request but i’m quite happy with the angst of it. this is kinda tame though, i wanna do this idea again but more… nasty… dirty…
word count: 4.2k
———————♡
He’d just helped Brendan Brady clean up a dead body, and now he has to deal with you showing up to his motel room? How did you even find him? The dim lamp on the side table illuminates his frustrated face.
“What the fuck am I gonna do if Brendan sees you?”
“I’m tired of you letting this consume you, Simon, I want you to come home.”
“Come home? Abandon my entire case?” His brows furrow, obviously hating the idea. He’s done all this so far, why stop now?
“This is going too far, Simon. Is this what you want? Is all this seriously going to make you happy in the end?” You retort, stood by the bed. The ugly red walls hurt your eyes, a musty smell coming from the room.
Simon huffs out a frustrated sigh, throwing his hands up in a ‘what do you want me to do’ motion.
“This is what I want, Y/N. It’s what I have to do. I’m so close to bringing him down once and for all, you have to see that! If I stop now, all my work so far will be for nothing.”
He takes a few steps closer to you, his brows turning up slightly as his voice drops. “Don’t you want me to finish it?”
“Don’t do that.” You snap, pointing accusingly at him. “You know I was all for you doing this. Don’t you dare try to make me feel bad here. I wanted you to finish this, but that was before I knew how absolutely ruined of a person it would make you.”
A scowl forms its way onto his face. He scoffs, turning his head from your gaze. “Ruined.” he repeats, shaking his head. “You think I’m ruined?”
His blues shoot back to you, taking another step closer. His anger and defense is starting to build, something he isn’t used to projecting onto you. “I’m still the same bloke. I just-.. I just have to go further than I originally thought I would. That’s all.”
“Look at yourself, Simon.. really.” You mutter, “You said you’d be home months ago. This is turning you into-.. something you’re not. Someone I don’t recognize.”
Simon has to hold back a groan when you bring up his previous promise, his expression hardening. He shakes his head, he really doesn’t want to hear any of this.
“You don’t get it, love. You don’t know what I have to do. And you never will.”
“And I’m scared I never will because you won’t end up coming home.” You bite back, your throat tightening with welling up emotion, staring up at him.
His face falters, seeing just how upset you’re coming off. He can’t show vulnerability though, not now. Not when he’s built this up for so long.
“I’ll be fine. I know what I’m doing.” He comes over, standing directly in front of you. “Why can’t you just trust me?”
It’s your turn for your brows to furrow now, “Trust you? Don’t pull that- not when I do trust you with my entire life. But I miss the man I’m in love with. I don’t see him here anymore.”
Simon’s quiet for a moment, looking down at you with a mixture of frustration and pain. He runs a hand over his face, jaw clenching.
“I can’t afford to be that man right now. Can’t you just let me finish this?”
“No,” you whisper, staring up at him with a shake of your head, “I-.. I can’t. I can’t just watch you turn into this-.. this. Just to lock him up? He’s ruining you, Simon.”
Those cold blues narrow at your refusal. He grits his teeth, all that built up anger he’s been collecting for months bubbling up.
“If that’s what it takes to get him in handcuffs, then so be it, I don’t care!” His hands rake through his hair, irritated. “You’re not making this any easier, y’know. Coming here and trying to stop me.”
“I didn’t come here just to try and stop you.” Your tone dips lower, almost remorseful. “I came here to give you a choice.”
“Me, or Brendan.”
Simon is silent for a heartbeat before his expression morphs into incredulous anger. “You’re giving me an ultimatum?” He scoffs a laugh.
“Yes! I am. Me. Or him. Because by the time you’re done with him-... I won’t still be here with open arms.” You swallow, avoiding looking directly at his face for now.
His thoughts are racing, processing what you just said. If you weren’t still home when he finally came back.. thoughts of an empty house plague his mind. The thought of returning to find your things gone, no trace of you-
That anger in his veins ignites ten fold, stepping right into your personal space. “You’re telling me I have to choose?”
“Maybe I should have found you months ago.” You sniff, looking up at him. “Maybe then you wouldn’t be so angry-.. the man I know wouldn’t even hesitate to side with me.”
“I can’t just choose you.”
His voice is nearly strained. It’s not what he wants to say, but he needs to finish this, he needs to bring Brendan down. Right?
You feel tears brim your eyes, afraid that was the answer you’d receive. Looking down at your hands, you take a deep breath before returning your gaze to his face. “Okay. Guess I’ve got my answer then.”
It nearly pains him, to watch you tear up like that, as if he wants nothing more than to pull you closer against him and comfort you.
But the anger is still there.
“Stop it with the tears. Don’t. Why are you putting me in this position, making me choose?”
“Why are you acting like it’s a difficult choice?” You bark back, voice wavering. You may be devastated, beyond torn up, but you’re also angry.
A scoff escapes Simon.
“You have no idea what it’s like!” He snaps, exasperated. “What I’ve had to do, what I have to deal with just to get closer to him-”
“I may not know what it’s like but I can see the way it’s tearing you apart! I can’t just sit back and watch you be torn apart by him!” You don’t back up physically, nor mentally. You won’t back down.
That stubborn and resilient side is what he fell in love with, and now all it does is piss him off. “You just don’t understand! You think I’m so weak, that I can’t handle this, that I’m broken or something- I’m fine!”
That yelling only fuels your emotions, your upset. Before you know it, your palm is stinging with the contact against his cheek in a hard slap.
The sound ricochets off the glaring walls, his head snapped to the side. Slowly, he turns to look at you, a ruddy red blooming over his skin. He looks absolutely pissed, brows hardened, eyes cold, and he doesn’t hesitate for a single moment to shove you against the wall, pinning you there with a hand on your shoulder and his forearm across your chest.
The action pulls a gasp from you, arms pressing on his to try and shove him off. You’re not weak by any means, but overall strength, Simon has you beat. His eyes lock with yours, staring down at you.
“I don’t care how upset you are. You don’t hit me, ever again. Understood?”
You groan, “Well if this isn’t the most emotion you’ve shown me in months.” You grumble, trying to shove at him.
An annoyed scoff is pulled from him, breath hinted with cigarette smoke. “You wanted me to react, is that it?”
“Yes! Dammit!” You cry back, eyes bleary with tears. “I want anything other than you having some sick obsession with Brendan!”
“It’s not an obsession, Y/N. He’s nearly destroyed my life, and I need to be the one to end him.”
“What’s left of your life is sat in the hospital!” You snap, throat straining with the yell. “Not here!”
The mention of his poor, coma-ridden little brother immediately causes his anger to boil over. His strength urges you against the wall more. “Don’t bring Cam into this!”
Your head knocks into the wall, groaning out a pained noise. It all happens quickly, before you even realize what you’re doing. Your hand reaches for the dinky lamp on the table beside you both, slamming it against the side of his head. The shitty porcelain shatters with a high noise, and then your hands are pushing on his chest, and an altercation breaks out within the blink of an eye.
With a growling noise, Simon grabs your arms, his fingers wrapping around them like a vice. In an instant, he has you bent over the shitty bed, wrists pinned behind your back. A grunt sounds from you. Unfortunately for him, he had spent months teaching you self defense moves. He insisted on it actually, for your own safety.
You kick a leg up between his thighs, using the way he almost doubles over to then kick on his stomach, sending him away from you. A pained noise comes from his throat, not giving himself the chance to recover before he lunges for you again. Using his own momentum to your advantage, you side step and shove him in the direction of the wall. Your hands are grabbing onto each other, hitting, as his weight crushes the small table he lands against. The wood splinters and you both tumble to the floor, trying to pin his arms.
Even with the wind being knocked out of him, he’s still got the advantage. Despite a fist to the face, his own retaliates, hitting somewhere on you, before flipping you over, holding you down with his weight.
Thudding to the floor with a whine, you feel wood pressing into your leg, your hands pinned. You don’t fight anymore, already tired with your heart pounding in your ears. Blood leaks from your lip, and there’s a stinging on your right palm, probably from the lamp.
You look up at Simon with lidded, wet eyes.
He’s staring down at you, breathing heavy with anger, frustration, and helplessness. His blues dart to your lip, then back to your eyes. This wasn’t supposed to happen.
“Why’d you come here?”
You swallow, panting out a breath as you shift under him, wincing.
“Because I love you.”
He falters. He truly falters finally at those words. It’s not the first time you’ve said them, but this feels different. Like a last effort.
His grasp on your arms lessens, just slightly.
Sniffling, hot tears roll down your temples and into your hairline.
“Simon, I love you, dammit.”
The words break through his anger, his frustration, his hurt. For a moment, he doesn’t say anything, just stares. Seeing those tears, the blood on your lip. Seeing the damage he caused.
And he can’t find the words to say.
His expression crumbles, and suddenly Simon looks so weary, so tired. Like there’s so much weighing down on him, weighing down his heart. Because there is.
The air is thick, nearly making it difficult to breathe as you stare up at him. Your eyes dart to his lips, then back up to those blues.
Without a second thought, he releases your arms, letting them go to instead cradle your face. In a matter of a single breath, his lips are crashing against yours, in a hard and desperate kiss.
Your free hands tangle into his dusty brown hair, probably smearing blood on the strands. Melting into the kiss, you match the pure need his actions invoke as your tongues meet.
He lets out a groan, the taste of your blood hitting his tongue, and God he’s not supposed to be enjoying it. He tilts your head with his hand, gripping on your jaw to aid in exploring your mouth, like he’s trying to devour you whole.
A whimper escapes you, panting against his lips for a desperate fill of air. Your hands, albeit trembling slightly, find the zipper of his coat and tug it down. He aids your efforts, sitting up just enough to pull his coat off, tossing it aside somewhere. Diving back down, he continues to kiss you like you’re the most delicious thing he’s ever tasted.
After a moment, Simon pulls back enough to rip your shirt over your head, letting it join his coat, leaving you in just your bra and jeans.
Shuddering at the cold hardwood beneath your sore back, your hands roam his now bare arms, squeezing his muscles and reaching down to grab the hem of his shirt. He now mirrors you, naked on the top half as he leans back down. Instead of kissing you again, his lips find your jaw, then your neck. He presses open mouthed kisses to the sensitive skin there, trailing to your collarbone, before nipping and sucking on that spot.
Your head tosses back, gasping, nearly wheezing for air as you scramble for the buckle on his belt. Your hands are shaking too much to get it right away, instead feeling too weak to even grab at it properly.
Simon notices, turns his kisses more gentle. You were always his strong one, always the one who supported him. Seeing you like this does something to him, it makes something primal snap inside him. He reaches down for you, grabbing your wrist and pinning it above your head with one hand, using his other one to undo his belt and button.
You interlock your fingers with his, feeling the sting of the cut on your palm. Glancing down with a slight whine, you watch him undo his belt, cheeks flaring with heat in response. Once his jeans are fully undone, your free hand reaches to pull him in for another kiss.
He groans, tongue lapping over yours with a desperate need. His other hand twists and undoes the button on your jeans, yanking the zipper down.
His actions cause a whimper to sound in your throat, hips shifting, canting up towards his hand as you gasp against his lips. “Bed- please-”
He’s not one to deny you that request, not now. He lets go of your hand, blood smeared on his own palm now. That same hand dips under your back, and the other hooks beneath your legs as he stands with you. His lips barely leave yours, not even as he gently lays you down, covering your body with his own. A moan is pulled from you, looping your arms around him in a hug as he cages you against the sheets. Those dusty strands fall around your face, so you reach to smooth them back.
The sight of you under him, the feeling of your body against his, it’s like an addiction that he can’t get enough of, he’s been missing this, and he craves more.
His hands move down your body, brushing along the cup of your bra, shifting his knees wider apart to grind against you.
You choke on a groan as his hips meet yours, the swell of his cock pressing against your cunt, rutting up against him. Leaving his hair, your hands dip behind your now arched back to undo the clasp of your bra, hastily pulling the garment off and tossing it aside.
Those blues dart down to your tits, a big hand coming to grope over them as his lips travel along your neck, back down to the marks he left near your collarbones. The actions make you toss your head back, eyes falling shut, hands grasping at his broad shoulders. They wander wherever you can reach until you decide to squirm and grab the waistband of your jeans, trying to push them down.
Simon pauses his efforts on sucking another hickey on the swell of your breast, instead sitting upright. Hands grab onto your ankles one at a time, tugging your sneakers off, letting them thud to the hardwood before he pulls your jeans and panties off in one go. He takes a moment to just admire you, the blood on your chin, your hand, the softness of your skin, the heaving of your chest. The sight of you, splayed out on the white sheets, cheeks hot, messy hair, it’s like a sight taken from his dirtiest and most yearning dreams.
He takes too long for your liking, even though his strong gaze is enough to make more slick leak from your now exposed cunt. You sit up some, flipping the two of you over so his back meets the bed and you crawl ontop of him. Leaning down, you reciprocate his earlier actions, latching your reddened lips to his neck.
Simon is grasped by a fierce need to touch, to taste, to have. His head tilts back, giving you better access to his neck, letting out a groan at the way your teeth scrape on his skin. You nip and lick, traveling down until you’re kissing over his chest, his abs. Finding his jeans, you mimic his actions from before and tug them down with his boxers, only struggling for a moment to get his boots off which earns a huffed chuckle from him.
No words are shared as you clamber back up his body, settling over his cock to rut down with a whine against his pulse point.
A strangled groan works its way from his chest, hands finding your sides as his knees part. You’re so slick, warm and soft ontop of him, grinding down onto his cock with a desperate need.
“Simon-” You breathe out, something pleading, as your hips roll and your tongue explores more of his neck, up his jaw over a faded bruise he must have got from Brendan.
Simon whines at the sound of his name. He can hardly do anything but tighten his fingers on your sides, pressing into your skin as he cants his hips up into you, the head of his cock pushing between your folds. He runs his hands up along your back. Feeling the skin to skin contact has him groaning in a mixture of need and relief, he hasn’t had this in so long, and he hasn’t realized how badly he’s been craving it.
Nosing at his cheek, you moan loudly against the flushed skin as you spear yourself on his cock. The stretch burns, but that’s what you want, to feel him, the effect he has on you. Your trembling hands find his chest, fingertips pressing into him for support, breath catching in your throat.
“Simon.”
His hands grab onto your hips, trying to ground himself through the pleasure, through the need that’s starting to consume him with the way your pussy grips onto him like a vice. He lets out a whiny, wanton moan. “Fuck- sweetheart..”
You immediately get to work rolling your hips, riding him and burrowing into his neck with hitched breathing. Your hands find the sheets beneath him, thin fabric bunched between your fingers.
Simon tosses his head back, arching up slightly as his strength aids you in grinding back and forth on his dick. He drives his hips up into you, matching your rhythm with panted gasps.
“That’s it- fuck-”
The huskiness of his voice makes your veins flood with more arousal, gasping wildly as you find a steady pace. Your heartbeat can be heard in your ears, muffling out everything other than the slick sounds of your cunt and your whiny moans.
Simon can’t hold back anymore, that broken little whine you let out has him flipping the two of you over again without pulling out. He hides in your neck, whimpering out a moan as he starts to fuck into you.
You yelp, a gasped noise as your arms hug him again. Heated flesh on heated flesh, you feel your sore back get pushed into the bed with every thrust. “Simon!”
With his hands, he pins your own up above your head again, but there’s no anger, no frustration in it, not this time. He feels your fingers interlace as you hold onto his hands for dear life. You have trouble even catching your breath, all of it fucked out of you with his rapid pace. You hook your thighs on his hips, writhing beneath him.
“Simon-!” It comes out as a squealed moan, whiny.
His lips return to yours, muffling your moans. He chest presses flush to your tits, urgently, trying to get as physically close as possible. Simon’s whimpering, like he’s drowning and you’re the one thing keeping him afloat, like he’s been starving for years and you’re the only thing he needs to survive.
A lewd, slick smack sounds for your cunt, arousal leaking down your skin and staining the sheets below your ass. It almost hurts, but you’d rather feel this than the pain you’ve felt for months without him.
All the tension, the cravings, it’s built up over months and you-.. you just need him. You feel emotion tighten your throat. His navel grinds into your clit with every thrust in, whining against your shoulder like he’s on the verge of tears, like he’s finally letting out the pain and loneliness that’s built up over the past months.
Tears are spilling from your eyes before you even know it, arching with a sob. “I love you- Simon-”
That coil is twisting tighter and tighter-
His own eyes grow wet as his hips speed up, rabbiting his cock into you with ferocious want, and the words are spilling out of his mouth suddenly.
“I love you- ah! I love you, sweetheart. I’m so sorry- God, I’m so sorry. I love you, I love you, I love you-”
The coil snaps, right into a million pieces as your orgasm crashes over you. You weep, face hiding against his neck as you writhe under his weight. Your heart is in your throat, lungs crying for air as your cunt tightens on his cock. His hips press flush to yours, balls smacking against your ass as he grinds in deep with a stuttered sob. A whiny groan of a plea, a curse, and then he’s spilling into you.
Simon’s weight drops down onto you, both of you wheezing for air, sniffling, his hips jerking with aftershocks. He turns his head, pressing wet, tender kisses on your cheek.
He feels weak, worn out, but in a way that’s entirely different from what he’s used to these days. He pulls out, flopping down beside you as you swallow the drool in your mouth, interlaced fingers resting on your stomach. Your now free hand finds the top of his head, carding through his hair. He’s practically boneless against the bed, a deep, blissful numbness taking over his entire body. Groaning softly, he lets go of your hand to wrap his arm around you, pulling you against his chest as he lays back.
Tossing a leg over his lap, you blindly pull the duvet up over your bodies, snuggling into his side with a sniffle. Chaste kisses are laid at the base of his neck. He gives you a comforting squeeze, turning to press a kiss at your hairline.
The two of you lay like that in the darkness, the only light coming from the too white bathroom. Your finger draws lines along his collarbone, sniffling every now and then before you speak.
“I’m sorry I came here.. I just-.. want you home.”
When no words come from him after a breath, you continue. “I just thought-.. maybe if I gave you a choice, it’d work.”
A sigh escapes him, not an annoyed one, but.. a tired one. His hand drags up and down your back, squeezing you firmly to his chest, like he’s desperate for as much contact as possible. He lays another kiss to your head, before burying his face into your hair and inhaling deeply.
Simon’s voice is slightly hoarse when he speaks. “Okay.”
Your brows furrow, lifting your head to look at him. “What?”
He can’t help but give a watery chuckle, sniffing. “I said okay,” he says, his voice low. “I’ll come home.”
“You-..” You sit up on one elbow, the other hand flat on his chest. “You mean it?”
He nods slowly, his eyes never leaving yours. His other hand reaches up to tuck some hair behind your ear, his brows relaxed and gentle, a resolve in his eyes that wasn’t there before.
“Yeah,” he nods once more. “I’ll come home with you.”
You stare for a moment, as if you don’t believe him. Then, you lean up and capture his lips in a deep, passionate kiss.
It pulls a groan from him, his cock twitching weakly, arms hugging you tightly to his chest. He kisses hungrily, like he wants to convey in his actions how much he’s missed you. He’ll need a lot more time for that though.
The injuries of your fight are a dull pain compared to the warm joy in your chest as you pull back with lidded eyes. “Can we leave.. right now?”
He stares back for a few moments, before whispering. “Yeah,” he murmurs, “right now.”
Getting dressed is a silent task, stepping over the bits of broken table and ceramic. Your clammy skin is chilled by the night air, a harsh breeze blowing past as Simon tugs on his biking globes, helmet tucked under his arm.
The purring of his bikes engine is the sweetest sound you’ve heard in months.
———————♡
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angorwhosebabyisthis · 3 months
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watching fandaniel go is wild because he is just [vestibular stims] [vestibular stims] [vestibular stims] [vestibular stims] and yeah man that's a mood
#final fantasy xiv#ffxiv#ffxiv fandaniel#the cutscene where he's dancing and pacing in front of zenos in the armory while they talk genuinely startled me a little#with how accurately the editing and camerawork captured What That Stim Feels Like#i'm less inclined to do Large Amounts of Spinning and Bending; and the way i get my arms involved looks different#but something about the energy to it and the center of gravity and the way he Turns when he steps is just Oh Wow Yeah Same#on one hand; surface-level he's the type of Unhinged Manic Pixie Dream Boy that you'd think would be a bit on the nose for adhd headcanons#(which would be valid anyway to be clear but still)#but like. motherfucker has adhd just look at him#and honestly i like that a lot because 'surface level' is the keyword here. he Has Depth and is adhd about it#i need to find that post about how masking doesn't necessarily mean trying to pass for neurotypical#among other things; it can look like playing super hard into Look at How Megadifferent and Quirky and Weird I Am; and yeah that's him#and tbh he kind of vibes to me as having gotten into Being an Obnoxious Flamboyant Theater Kid#specifically because it's a useful cover for being his brand of ND#'those damn wacky rich gay nobles' as an explanation for your behavior is going to get you a very different niche in society#than 'that weird dude who talks strangely and can't sit still and whose social cues are A Little Off'#'and makes bizarre disruptive distracting movements with his body while he talks'#anyway diversity win etc etc i love him#ableism mention cw#ffxivtag#FF tag
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mako-island-moon-pool · 4 months
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Personally of the belief that live action fans who go onto animanga posts uninvited like 'I DESPERATELY NEED YOU TO KNOW THAT I THINK THE ART STYLE IS UGLY EVEN THO THIS OPINION IS IRRELEVANT TO THE POST' should be hit with a big rock. We already moved past this ten years ago, get with it or get lost. Swallow the hunger inside of you that demands everything be palatable to you. Maybe you could stand to be a little uncomfortable for a while
#Keep ur trashy comments to yourself#It's not even ugly! It's just not the conventional anime style so you deem it ugly. That's so fucking sad of you#You're the type of person who sees a piece of art and is like OMG WERE THEY ON DRUGS?!?!?!?!?!#Idk I think the art style is very fitting for the gigantic world Oda has built#People are allowed to be ''ugly'' because not all of us were born to be models. Shock and horror I know#(this is NOT aimed at the ppl who critque the way Oda draws women (to a degree...) bc I agree he could've done the same for women as he doe#The men by giving them way more diverse features and body shapes)#No this is aimed at the ppl who think the style as a whole is ugly and demean it bc it doesn't suit their tastes#Meanwhile their taste is the most conventional cookie cutter bland pretty boy/girl bullshit out there#(I say to a degree up there bc I think ppl go way too far with the criticisms like the one person who posted the Charlotte family identical#Sisters and went LOOK HOW SIMILAR THESE WOMEN ARE ODA SUCKS when they were MEANT to look similar)#^ yes that is an actual post I saw in like 2018 or 2019 when WCI was reaching its end in the anime and it made me die laughing#There are dozens of other examples you could've given but no. You intentionally chose the triplets (quintuplets? It's been a hot minute)#Rebecca and Nami and Vivi and Shirahoshi all having the exact same face with different hair? No I will use the identical twins as proof#What a unique way to undermine your own argument bc I was with you up until that#Anyway yeah the more I think abt the more I think the live action sucks actually for getting rid of Sanji's eyebrows bc they'd 'look bad'#Who cares? It's part of his design. You are cutting off parts of his character. Same w/ Usopp's nose.#Who fucking cares if it would have looked 'bad' or 'ugly'? Is that all you guys really care about? Keeping up appearances???#I'm so sick of the shit I like getting 'remade' to appeal to people who will never actually appreciate why stuff looks the way it does#It's so shallow I hate it#<- yes I'm still bitter about what they did to my boy WW in the three guns reboot iykyk#And Livio and Razlo for that matter. What the FUCK was that about#Idk maybe it's cuz it's something I recognized in myself and attempted to squash so it's frustrating seeing other ppl do it#And again obvs Oda isn't perfect w/ this either as he draws evil women as fat old hags and his protags as skinny and beautiful#Or how he thinks not following ur dreams will make u ugly and fat and following ur dreams will make u conventionally attractive#I get it. Storytelling method. But u can do better. Use colorschemes instead of physical attributes or something like Veneer does
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Note
I remember you said something about Kuron getting a tattoo once? How would he go about it? Something complicated and cool he put a lot of thought into OR did he just do it on a whim?
Like hes walking down a street or something, sees a tattoo studio and decides to wing it?(bc Shiro would NEVER)
Oh definately both, like the first tattoo he got was definately an impulse decision tramp stamp he lowkey regrets. However the other tattoos do have a lot more thought put into them, and have lot of motifs related to death, rebirth, freedom, individuality, anger and other such things. Like both Kuron's love for literature and symbolism and his tendency to mythologize himself really just bleed into him coming up with some really meaningful but also edgy tattoos
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mcmansionhell · 8 months
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we've found it folks: mcmansion heaven
Hello everyone. It is my pleasure to bring you the greatest house I have ever seen. The house of a true visionary. A real ad-hocist. A genuine pioneer of fenestration. This house is in Alabama. It was built in 1980 and costs around $5 million. It is worth every penny. Perhaps more.
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Now, I know what you're thinking: "Come on, Kate, that's a little kooky, but certainly it's not McMansion Heaven. This is very much a house in the earthly realm. Purgatory. McMansion Purgatory." Well, let me now play Beatrice to your Dante, young Pilgrim. Welcome. Welcome, welcome, welcome.
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It is rare to find a house that has everything. A house that wills itself into Postmodernism yet remains unable to let go of the kookiest moments of the prior zeitgeist, the Bruce Goffs and Earthships, the commune houses built from car windshields, the seventies moments of psychedelic hippie fracture. It is everything. It has everything. It is theme park, it is High Tech. It is Renaissance (in the San Antonio Riverwalk sense of the word.) It is medieval. It is maybe the greatest pastiche to sucker itself to the side of a mountain, perilously overlooking a large body of water. Look at it. Just look.
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The inside is white. This makes it dreamlike, almost benevolent. It is bright because this is McMansion Heaven and Gray is for McMansion Hell. There is an overbearing sheen of 80s optimism. In this house, the credit default swap has not yet been invented, but could be.
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It takes a lot for me to drop the cocaine word because I think it's a cheap joke. But there's something about this example that makes it plausible, not in a derogatory way, but in a liberatory one, a sensuous one. Someone created this house to have a particular experience, a particular feeling. It possesses an element of true fantasy, the thematic. Its rooms are not meant to be one cohesive composition, but rather a series of scenes, of vastly different spatial moments, compressed, expanded, bright, close.
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And then there's this kitchen for some reason. Or so you think. Everything the interior design tries to hide, namely how unceasingly peculiar the house is, it is not entirely able to because the choices made here remain decadent, indulgent, albeit in a more familiar way.
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Rare is it to discover an interior wherein one truly must wear sunglasses. The environment created in service to transparency has to somewhat prevent the elements from penetrating too deep while retaining their desirable qualities. I don't think an architect designed this house. An architect would have had access to specifically engineered products for this purpose. Whoever built this house had certain access to architectural catalogues but not those used in the highest end or most structurally complex projects. The customization here lies in the assemblage of materials and in doing so stretches them to the height of their imaginative capacity. To borrow from Charles Jencks, ad-hoc is a perfect description. It is an architecture of availability and of adventure.
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A small interlude. We are outside. There is no rear exterior view of this house because it would be impossible to get one from the scrawny lawn that lies at its depths. This space is intended to serve the same purpose, which is to look upon the house itself as much as gaze from the house to the world beyond.
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Living in a city, I often think about exhibitionism. Living in a city is inherently exhibitionist. A house is a permeable visible surface; it is entirely possible that someone will catch a glimpse of me they're not supposed to when I rush to the living room in only a t-shirt to turn out the light before bed. But this is a space that is only exhibitionist in the sense that it is an architecture of exposure, and yet this exposure would not be possible without the protection of the site, of the distance from every other pair of eyes. In this respect, a double freedom is secured. The window intimates the potential of seeing. But no one sees.
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At the heart of this house lies a strange mix of concepts. Postmodern classicist columns of the Disney World set. The unpolished edge of the vernacular. There is also an organicist bent to the whole thing, something more Goff than Gaudí, and here we see some of the house's most organic forms, the monolith- or shell-like vanity mixed with the luminous artifice of mirrors and white. A backlit cave, primitive and performative at the same time, which is, in essence, the dialectic of the luxury bathroom.
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And yet our McMansion Heaven is still a McMansion. It is still an accumulation of deliberate signifiers of wealth, very much a construction with the secondary purpose of invoking envy, a palatial residence designed without much cohesion. The presence of golf, of wood, of masculine and patriarchal symbolism with an undercurrent of luxury drives that point home. The McMansion can aspire to an art form, but there are still many levels to ascend before one gets to where God's sitting.
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kaijutegu · 8 months
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Alligator Body Language and You, or: How To Know When An Alligator On Social Media is Being Stressed for Views
Alligators are wild animals. Despite the idiotic claims of animal abusers like Jay Brewer, they cannot be domesticated, which means they are always going to react on the same natural instincts they've had for millions of years. Habituated, yes. Tamed, yes. Trained, definitely. Crocodilians can form bonds with people- they're social and quite intelligent. They can solve problems, use tools, and they're actually quite playful. Alligators are also really good at communicating how they're feeling, but to somebody who doesn't spend much time around them, their body language can be a bit mystifying. And it doesn't help when social media influencers are saying shit like this:
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That is not what a happy gator looks like.
That's a terrified, furious gator who isn't attacking because the ogre handling her has her in a chokehold. She's doing everything she can to express her displeasure, and he's lying about it because he knows his audience doesn't even know how to think critically about what he's doing. He knows that because his audience doesn't know anything about these animals, he can get away with it. This I think is why I hate him so much- he deliberately miseducates his audience. He knows what he's doing is factually inaccurate, he just doesn't care because attention means more to him than anything else in the world.
Let's change that! Here are two really important lessons for understanding alligator body language on social media.
Lesson 1: Alligators Don't Smile (in fact, most animals don't)
So what's going on in this video? Jay Brewer is aggressively choking his white alligator Coconut while scrubbing algae off of her with a toothbrush. And make no mistake, he is digging into the creature's throat while she is visibly distressed. He claims she's happy- but she's not. He is willfully misrepresenting what this animal is feeling. That's a problem, because people... well, we actually kind of suck at reading other species' body language. The reason for this is that we tend to overlay our own responses on their physical cues, and that's a problem. For example, let's look at an animal with a really similar face to ours, the chimpanzee. Check out Ama's toothy grin!
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Wait, no. That's not a happy smile. That's a threat display. When a chimpanzee "smiles," it's either terrified and doing a fear grimace, or it's showing you its teeth because it intends on using them in your face.
How about a dog? Look at my smiling, happy puppy!
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Oh wait no, this is a picture of Ryder when he was super overwhelmed by noise and people during a holiday party. He'd hopped up in my sister's lap to get away from stuff that was happening on the floor and was panting quite heavily. See the tension in the corners of his mouth and his eyes? A lot of the time when a dog "smiles," the smile isn't happy. It's stress! Why Animals Do The Thing has a nice writeup about that, but the point is, our body language is not the same as other species. And for reptiles, body language is wildly different.
For instance, look at these two alligators. Pretty cute, right? Look at 'em, they're posing for a Christmas card or something! How do you think they're feeling?
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Well, I'll tell you how the normal one is feeling. He's annoyed! Why is he annoyed? Because the albino just rolled up, pushed another gator off the platform, and is trying to push this guy, too. I know this because I actually saw it happen. It was pretty funny, not gonna lie. He's not gaping all the way, but he was hissing- you can actually see him getting annoyed in the sequence I took right before this shot. Look at him in this first shot here- he's just relaxing, and you can see he isn't gaping even a little bit.
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By the end, he's expressing displeasure, but not enough to actually do anything about it. He's annoyed, but he's comfy and that's where one of the best basking areas is, so he'll put up with it.
Reptiles open their mouths wide for a lot of reasons, but never because they are actively enjoying a sensation. Unless they're eating. No reptile smiles- they can't. They don't even have moveable lips. If a reptile is gaping, it's doing so because:
It is doing a threat display.
It is making certain vocalizations, all of which are threats. Alligators are one of the rare reptiles that do regularly vocalize, but most of their calls aren't made with a wide open mouth.
It is about to bite something delicious or somebody stupid. Check out this video- virtually all of the gaping here is anticipatory because these trained gators know darn well that the bowl is full of delicious snacks. (I have some issues with Florida's Wildest, but the man knows how to train a gator AND he is honest about explaining what they're doing and why, and all of his animals are healthy and well-cared for, and he doesn't put the public or his staff at risk- just himself.)
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It's too hot and it has opened its mouth to vent some of that heat and thermoregulate. This is the main reason why alligators will often have their mouths part of the way open, but sometimes they'll open all the way for thermoregulation. This is what a thermoregulatory gape looks like- usually it's not all the way open, kinda more like < rather than V, but you can't say that 100% of the time. Additionally, a thermoregulatory gape... typically happens when it's hot out. If they're inside, maybe they've been under their basking light for too long. Heat's the dominant factor, is what I'm getting at.
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There is another reason that a captive crocodilian might be gaping, and that's because it's doing so on command. Some places have their gators trained to gape on cue, like St. Augustine Alligator Farm and other good zoos. They have the animals do this in presentations that are genuinely educational. They ask the animals to open their mouths so that they can show off their teeth and demonstrate how their tongues seal off the back of their mouth. They'll also do it as part of routine healthcare, because looking at their teeth is important.
In this case, the animals aren't gaping because they're stressed, they're gaping because they know they're gonna get a piece of chicken or fish if they do it. And what's more, they're doing it on cue. They have a specific command or signal that tells them to open wide. It's not an instinctive response to a situation. It's trained. If the animal provides the behavior after a cue, the situation is much less likely to be negatively impactful.
It's also important to remember that there's a difference between a partially open mouth and a gape! As discussed above, alligators will often have their mouths a little bit open just to maintain temperature homeostasis. It helps them stay comfy, temperature-wise. These guys are all doing thermoregulatory open-mouthed behavior- that slight open and relaxed body posture is a dead giveaway. (That and it's the hottest spot in the enclosure.)
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Lesson 2: A Happy Gator Is A Chill Gator
So if alligators don't smile or have facial expressions other than the :V that typically signifies distress, how else can you tell how they're feeling? One way is stillness. See, alligators subscribe to the philosophy of if it sucks... hit da bricks.
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Basically, if they hate it, they'll leave. Unless, y'know, somebody has their meaty claws digging into their throat or is otherwise restraining them. (Restraint isn't always bad, btw. Sometimes the animal is going through a medical thing or needs to be restrained for their safety- which a responsible educator will explain.)
Let's look at a very similar scenario, in which a captive alligator is getting his back scrubbed.
As you can see, it's quite different. First, he's not being restrained at all. Second, look at how relaxed he is! He's just chilling there vibing! He could simply get up and leave if he wanted to, because he's not being held. Towards the end of the video, as he lifts his head, you can see that his respiratory rate is very even as his throat flutters a bit. I'm not sure what this facility is, so I can't comment on care/general ethics, but like. In this specific case, this is an alligator enjoying being scrubbed! And you can tell because he's not doing anything. A happy gator is content to be doing what they're doing.
Why Should I Listen To You?
Now, you should ask yourself, why should you listen to me? Why should you trust me, who does not own an alligator, versus Jay Brewer, who owns several?
Well, first off, there's no profit for me in telling you that what you're seeing on social media is in fact not what you're being told you're seeing. I'm not getting paid to do this. That's the thing with people who make social media content. The big names aren't doing it just for fun. They're doing it for money. Whether that's profit through partnerships or sponsorships, or getting more people to visit their facilities, or ad revenue, you can't ignore the factor of money. And this is NOT a bad thing, because it allows educators to do what they're passionate about! People deserve to be paid for the work that they do!
But the problem starts when you chase the algorithm instead of actually educating. A "smiling" alligator gets the views, and if people don't know enough to know better, it keeps getting the views. People love unconventional animal stories and they want those animals to be happy- but the inability to even know where to start with critically evaluating these posts really hinders the ability to spread real information. Like, this post will probably get a couple hundred notes, but that video of Coconut being scrubbed had almost 400,000 likes when I took that screenshot. Think about how many eyeballs that's reached by now. What I'm saying here is that it's just... really important to think critically about who you're getting your information from. What do dissenters say in the comments? What do other professionals say? You won't find a single herpetologist that has anything good to say about Prehistoric Pets, I can tell you that right now.
Another reason you can trust me is that my sources are not "just trust me bro," or "years of experience pretending my pet shop where animals come to die is a real zoo." Instead, here are my primary sources for my information on alligator behavior:
Dragon Songs: Love and Adventure among Crocodiles, Alligators, and Other Dinosaur Relations- Vladimir Dinets
The Secret Social Lives of Reptiles- J. Sean Doody, Vladimir Dinets, Gordon M. Burghardt
Social Behavior Deficiencies in Captive American Alligators (Alligator mississippiensis)- Z Walsh, H Olson, M Clendening, A Rycyk
Social Displays of the American Alligator (Alligator mississippiensis)- Kent Vliet
Social Signals and Behaviors of Adult Alligators and Crocodiles- Leslie Garrick, Jeffery Lang
Never smile at a crocodile: Gaping behaviour in the Nile crocodile at Ndumo Game Reserve, South Africa- Cormac Price, Mohamed Ezat, Céline Hanzen, Colleen Downs (this one's Nile crocs, not American alligators, but it's really useful for modeling an understanding of gape behaviors and proximity)
Thermoregulatory Behavior of Captive American Alligators (Alligator mississippiensis)- Cheryl S. Asa, Gary D. London, Ronald R. Goellner, Norman Haskell, Glenn Roberts, Crispen Wilson
Unprovoked Mouth Gaping Behavior in Extant Crocodylia- Noah J. Carl, Heather A. Stewart, Jenny S. Paul
Thank you for reading! Here's a very happy wild alligator from Sanibel for your trouble.
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neverendingford · 5 months
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pennjammin · 24 days
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run, rabbit, run
JJK HALLOWEEN!! nanamixreader
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summary ❥ you babysit for the wealthy single dad who lives across the street. it’s the end of october and his halloween party is the talk of the neighborhood. you’re not invited because the kids are out of town, but you decide to pop up on him anyway, and he shows you just how badly he’s been dying to get you alone without the children.
CONTENT: age gap, 86’d sorcery, dilf!nanami, toys, smut, alcohol, dom!nanami, cunnilingus, afab!reader, fluff, friends to lovers kinda, bossxworker, aftercare, slowwwww burn, reader wears animal ears during sex, breeding kink, spit kink, masochism.
word count. 10k
soundtrack 💿: eating - madeintyo
A/N: i tried to stay away from specific pronouns this time but i just love using the word pussy bro
and this one isn’t so much Halloween-centered or spooky as the others RIP i didn’t forget that it’s halloween but it was hard to keep bringing it up once the smut started lolz
also!!! there’s a joke in here involving the color of 🐱; i know everyone’s is not the same color so , fill in the blank for the color that fits yours if u have one HAHAHAH 😭🙏🏼
You give your ass a good shake.
You’re making sure the long, fluffy tail poking out of your blue shorts isn’t going to fall out. It doesn’t.
You’re dressed as a fox, but not just any fox. A fox cop. You have on a short blue collared top, matching shorts, and of course you’d be no real cop without your utility belt housing fake handcuffs and a plastic baton. To top it all off, you’re wearing fuzzy fox ears on your head, and sheer tights to cover your legs.
You nod in the mirror, satisfied. But the real test, to you, is if Mr. Nanami will like it just as much.
Mr. Nanami is your employer, but more importantly, your neighbor. You watch his two young children five days a week; sometimes even overnight when he has a particularly busy work day. You consider yourself close with them, but your feelings about Nanami are a little deeper than that.
You’d seen him the first time a little under a year ago, when he’d been out on an early morning jog. From then, on you’d become disgustingly obsessed ever since.
Your schoolgirl pining only gets worse every time you see him, and recently you've even gone as far as trying to shamelessly flirt - but he seems to have absolutely no idea. That is the less painful explanation, the other being that he’s just not interested.
But you’re planning to see if you can get that to change tonight. You always dress sensible in front of his children; this will be the first time he's seeing so much skin. It has to work, right?
Tonight, Nanami is throwing the party of the century. He has house workers of all kinds who serve towers of food and delicious mixed drinks. The cherry is that his entire gated lawn has been decorated to the perimeter of fun inflatables and spooky decorations. You know it's mostly for his kids, whom he goes nothing short of above and beyond for.
However, he had informed you days ago that they would be out of town this weekend - and, even if they were not, he's off work, so he doesn’t need you. This means he also had not invited you to his party.
You clearly still intend to show up unannounced, a bold move on your part.
You lock up your house - a small, co-owned property that truly looks out of place across from Nanami's home - which he technically pays the rent for. You carefully make your away across the overcrowded street full of cars, decorations, and humans who are already half past drunk.
As you walk up the stone steps that lead to his front door, your stomach is keyed up. You shouldn't feel any different than you normally do when coming over for work, but you’ve really let this highly unprofessional crush of yours get out of control.
You make it to the porch. You're unsure if he will even hear the doorbell, but you press it anyway. The door slides open after about ten seconds, as if he has been standing there watching it. You feel your body freeze immediately upon seeing him.
Nanami is towering over you in the threshold. His face lights up almost instantly, but that's not all that has your heart threatening to crack open your rib cage; it's also his delicious white button down, popped open by a few to reveal tiny bits of blond chest hair, and then of course there are the long, white ears on top of his head.
“Why hello, officer, did we get a noise complaint?” He chuckles at his own dad joke before bowing his head in greeting. “Sorry, I’m just surprised to see you. I figured you would be thrilled to not have to look at these four walls for a few days while my children are with... their mother.”
You watch his face drop in disgust at the mention of his ex-wife, but he’s never said anything bad about her. Whenever you’d asked why things hadn’t worked out, he’d said "they just didn't." And that was that, but part of you aches to know what had happened.
It shouldn’t matter. He is not interested in you. He gives you a paycheck, and that is all.
"Well," you begin carefully, "Who would want to miss out on the most exclusive Halloween party of the year?"
This coerces a deep laugh out of Nanami, then he steps aside and allows you to walk in. He is holding a short rocks glass of unidentified brown liquor, and you can smell whatever it is in a cloud around him.
Once inside, Nanami’s voice is quite muffled from the clank of dishes and bustle of workers. The two of you stop to stand in the foyer, a grand crystal chandelier winking at you from above.
"Exclusive isn't the word I'd use," he says, following your eyes as he takes a sip. "Everyone and their mother is here. Literally." He tilts his glass towards an elderly woman who stands next to a redhead about Nanami's age.
You should be laughing at his joke but instead, your stomach knots grow tighter at the reminder of how many people his age are here preying on him, the neighborhood catch, with careers and homes of their own.
Nanami is seven years your senior, you think. No wonder he wants nothing to do with a young, non career-oriented thing like you when he has all of these sophisticated people crawling at his feet.
You can't think about that now, or the courage you’ve spent a week building will cease to exist.
"Heh - well, either way," you continue, "it's a big party. I know the kids aren't here, but-"
"But I'm glad you are," Nanami smiles, his eyelids hanging a little low from the liquor in his system. "You look very nice, darling. I like your ears."
He grins and points to his own headband. A grown and very, very large man dressed as something as vulnerable as a little rabbit has your nerves aflame.
"Hmm, I bet you do," you tease. “Like it so much you had to copy me?”
Nanami makes a disapproving sound with his tongue, leaning forward a bit to be eye level with you. "Copy you? I was unaware that rabbits and foxes were the same animal. In fact," he adds, "if I'm not mistaken, foxes are a rabbit's natural predator."
You had been trying to look away from him now that he has moved so close, but as the last sentence rolls out of his mouth, you make the mistake of looking directly into his eyes - and what you see makes your limbs jelly. Maybe it's your delusions, but he seems to be drinking you up equally as much as he is his liquor.
You laugh to pop the bubble of tension, but Nanami's face remains as still as ice.
"Well, I certainly don't think I pose a threat to you, sir," you say, voice unnervingly dry. "You are twice my size."
At this, his intense stare transitions into a soft smile. "You just have to get my guard down. Then, I'm sure a little thing like yourself would be able to have your way with me."
You blink quickly, assuming you've misheard him. Then again, though, he tends to say things that could be flirty - but he is just a naturally charismatic man. Means nothing.
"Ah," you mumble out, shifting your weight from side to side. You have to find a way to change the subject, but most importantly, you need get his attention off of you. You’d wanted it so bad, now you don’t know how to handle it. As you scheme, he sips his drink again, eyes still watching you over the rim of the glass.
"So... the kids always go with their mom on Halloween?" you ask abruptly.
Nanami quickly swallows his sip before shaking his head. "Well I had them for the Fourth of July, you recall."
You do recall. A little too well. Nanami in nothing but tight, black swim shorts and his signature sunglasses as he flipped meat over the grill - and you playing in his pool with the kids. He’d invited you to celebrate the holiday with him after his kids had begged, but your mind was definitely elsewhere. The memory popping into your head almost makes you not hear what he says next.
"We alternate holidays. So I will have them for Thanksgiving, she for Christmas," he shrugs a shoulder. "I would have traded Thanksgiving for Christmas, but alas. Christmas is always the busiest day of the year for me, so they would just miss out on time with their father anyway. I couldn't ask you to ditch your holiday plans for us, again, either."
He sighs. You feel your heart ache; he cares deeply about his kids, but he is definitely a workaholic. That is why you spend every chance you get at his house… well, that’s mostly why. But even then, you sometimes wish you stayed more to help, because Nanami works tireless double shifts, then spends his off days trying to make up for lost time with the kids.
"Don't be so hard on yourself," you say, attempting to comfort him. "You're an amazing father who is doing all he can. They love you so much."
He smiles and bows his head politely, so as to say thank you. "They love you as well. Sometimes, I think more than they do their mother."
You swallow a choke, before rutting out, “Surely not."
Before Nanami has the chance to reply, an older woman who you’d come to known as Agnes walks by with a large tray arraignment of bright green cocktails.
“Nanamin!” she shrieks out. “Where would you like me to put these? Very afraid of them falling. There’s drunkards crawling up the walls! I’ve already swept up sixteen broken glasses! Sixteen!”
You and Nanami turn to look at her with an equally astonished expression.
Nanami leans forward a bit to whisper in your ear, “My apologies in advance for her erratic behavior.”
Agnes is still staring wildly between the two of you as you giggle, awaiting further instructions from Nanami.
“Sit them wherever you think is safest,” he says calmly.
She huffs but ultimately takes his word, speeding off with her kitten heels clacking against the marble floor.
Nanami turns back to you and opens his mouth, but another voice cuts him off.
“Nanami, sir!”
You feel a twinge of irritation in your chest, but you really shouldn’t. He is the host and people need his attention. You should have seen this coming.
“Is everything okay?” he questions politely, turning to face the short brunette in front of him, who bats her eyelashes.
“I… I think that someone is fighting outside,” she says quickly, unable to keep eye contact.
Nanami is a smart man, though. “Oh? Well, what shall we do about that?”
“I thought you could run and stop them,” she says, twisting a piece of her hair around her finger, glancing at you out of the corner of her eye.
“I’m in no mood to be in the middle of a brawl,” he says sternly. “Have the butlers stop it, and remove them. You try not to get involved either.”
She huffs and spins on her heel, walking back through the living room with an angry stomp in her step.
Nanami clicks his tongue, “I really need to have her counseled in compulsive lying. She cries wolf so many times a day.”
You’ve never seen her before, she must be new. This makes you jealous all over again. She’s not quite as old as the rest of the workers, but still older than you. The issue is you see yourself in her, the uncontrollable pining over your shared boss. She just makes hers much more obvious.
Nanami clears his throat, and you notice too late how his hand has slithered to the small of your back.
“Perhaps we should escape somewhere more secluded, hm?” he says. “I really am enjoying our conversation. A shame we keep getting interrupted.”
You swallow thickly. The hair on your spine has raised at his sudden contact, making you shiver.
“Yes, that’s a good idea, sir,” you say, trying to hide how dry your voice has gotten.
Not another word is uttered before Nanami is swiftly whisking you off to another room; his hands now free of his drink and instead gently guiding you by his hand placement.
His gaze is not as focused on you as it is leading you both through the overwhelming crowd of people, and to the hall under the stairs that you know for a fact leads to his workspace. He moves his hands into yours as he gently pushes you ahead of him.
You take the lead and find yourself pushing open the big door to his study. Inside is a complete reflection of Nanami, his wealth and his cleanliness. Even his desk is free of papers, or any indication at all that he works in here.
You recall the days he works from home, in this very study, and he'd still be in his work suit, just minus the blazer. You'd let the kids sneak in on him, only once or twice thoughout the day, just to see his smile; and while you’re already there, you'd drop off a cup of hot coffee to help him plow through the rest of his shift.
He shuts the doors behind you both as you run to make yourself comfortable in his desk chair, spinning around like a child.
As you do so, you fail to see or hear his fingers slyly clicking the lock on the door.
“Much better,” Nanami breathes, moving to flick on a floor lamp in the corner, giving the study a soft, warm glow accompanied by the full Halloween moon. “Now, what were we discussing?”
“You, uh,” you clear your throat as you stop spinning in the chair to face him. “You really didn’t have to come in here just to talk to me. You are the man of the evening, you know.”
Nanami rolls his eyes, an out-of-character action you never thought you'd see, but one that looked so tasty, so sultry. God, you’re a pervert in heat - and your sweet, sweet boss is completely oblivious to the kind of horrible thoughts you have daily about him.
Nanami's now staring at you. His mouth is moving, but you have no idea what he had been saying.
"… to spend time with all of those shallow, insolent creatures,” you register, “when I have someone like you here?" He walks over to the desk and leans against it, right next to you now, as he crosses his arms over his massive chest. "We have never just sat down and talked. We always have little people depending on us or wanting our attention. Tonight, I’d like that to change.”
You let his words simmer for a moment. “What is it you’d like to talk about, Mr. Nanami?” you then question.
“What did I tell you about that ‘Mr.’ nonsense?” He frowns. “That makes me feel so old.”
"Sorry, sir," you gulp, not intending to upset him. You just can't help the way 'Mr.' and 'Sir' roll off your tongue, or how bad you enjoy seeing him shift uncomfortably at the use of the names.
"Meanie," he tuts, knocking you playfully with his leg. Another uncharacteristic action.
"What'd I do?" you blink, tilting your head as you look up at him.
"You mean besides drive me insane with your teasing?" he questions, before his eyes widen and he looks as though he's just spilled a secret. "I- wow, I am sorry. That is not what I meant to say."
"I drive you insane?" you echo. "I didn't even think you noticed my… teasing.”
Nanami's face is neutral, but his jaw is working under his skin. "I’m not naive, little fox." He lets out a breath. “This was truly an excellent costume choice.”
He leans forward and flicks the furry ear on your head.
“Thank you,” you smile. “I can’t say the same for yours. You hardly scream innocent bunny.”
“What about me isn’t innocent?” he raises a brow, standing off of the desk.
“I…” you blink as he walks around to the back of the desk chair. “You’re just, um…”
“Fox got your tongue?” he coos, spinning the chair so that you’re forced to face him.
You inhale a deep breath and hold it as heat travels through your stomach and right to the center of your thighs.
“You’re a man who is about his business,” you say. “I imagine you’ve… had a lot of life experiences,” you pause to remind yourself to breathe, but it’s hard because of how ferociously Nanami is staring into your eyes. “So you c-can’t be all that innocent…”
“You seem nervous,” he coos. “Here. Let’s stand up, I’ll sit down. Maybe that will help you to not be so tense, hm?”
Your body obeys before your mind catches on. You’re standing in a beat, and Nanami has replaced you on the chair. Your bottom hits the crease of his large desk, and you slam your hands down on the surface to balance yourself.
“Sorry,” you say, putting a hand up to cover your face. “I don’t mean to imply that you make me uncomfortable, sir.”
Nanami's pupils flash white, but it's gone so quickly, you might have imagined it. "If I do, please let me know immediately.”
“No,” you say, dropping your hand, “I just think we need to get to know each other better, right? Our entire relationship is through the kids. I know that your son’s favorite shade of green is kiwi, but I don’t even know your first name.”
Nanami chuckles at this. “You know, I was thinking exactly the same thing.” He taps your knee. “Kento, silly girl. My first name is Kento.”
"A-And your favorite color?” you continue, trying to ignore how close he’s moved the chair towards you, now that you have fully planted your bottom on his desk.
“Pink,” he says, serious as death.
You giggle. “Why pink?”
“It’s the color of my favorite thing to eat,” he says, slowly placing his arms on either side of your thick thighs, hands planted flat on the surface of the desk.
You think for a moment. “Strawberry ice cream?”
“No,” he cocks his blond head to the side and his eyes fall on your tights. “Try again.”
You pretend to think, though you fear you may be catching on now. “Hmm, dragonfruit?”
“Nah,” Nanami says, looking up at you through his eyelashes. His pupils have been dilated from the alcohol, but there is an unrelated darkness in his eye now. “Something I don’t even have to swallow.”
You gulp. “Oh,” your suspicions have been confirmed.
“Get it now, little fox?” he coos.
“Mhmm,” you taunt back. “Well, I suppose I came prepared with your favorite dish, then.”
“Did you?” His hands boldly make their way to the top of your thighs, barely hovering over the skin but enough to make the flesh there light on fire. “Prepared it all nice and pretty for me?”
“Yes sir,” you nod eagerly, feeling your own boldness appear as your knees slide further away from one another. “How do you like it?”
“Extra moist,” he grits hungrily, fingernails curving into your tights and shredding a thick rip! through the material.
You gasp, entire torso lurching forward as he drags the hole bigger and bigger.
“Sorry, little fox. They were in the way,” he shrugs an innocent shoulder. “And what should we do about these shorts? They’re in the way, too.”
“Then let’s get them off,” you whisper, hardly registering that such filth had been uttered.
This truly can’t be happening. Is Nanami… Kento Nanami actually going to eat you out? Are his hands really slithering up your waist and fumbling with the button on your shorts, or are you in some kind of sick daydream?
"Mr. Nanami-"
"Please," he holds up a hand, one still remaining on the button of your shorts. "Kento. Call me Kento."
"Kento," you echo softly, and his eyelashes flutter. “You really want to do this?”
Nanami sucks in a breath. Several moments of silence pass, then his fingers are gently pressing against your chin, and he has risen to tower above you. "Maybe it's the liquid courage in me that's pushing me," he says, "but I’m okay with that. I dream about you on my tongue, night after night. I need you, Y/N.”
Instead of allowing you to reply, Nanami's lips are assaulting yours in a flash. A harsh, irrational kiss from a man who's lost his battle of self control.
Your hands fly up to his face to balance yourself at the sheer force the shock of the kiss has on you. He groans softly into you as your lips mold together, getting used to the shapes of each other’s mouths.
You want to begin deepening the kiss, but Nanami is suddenly pulling away.
"I'm sorry," he says quickly. You look at his face; for a man who is always so calm and composed, he is flushed and even shaking a little. “I should have asked if that was okay.”
"Did you hear me complaining?" you ask sternly.
“No-”
“Then shut up and kiss me, Kento.”
He wastes no time obeying your command; this time as he kisses you, his hands find the soft skin where your hips crease into your thighs. You’re aware of your thighs rubbing against his stomach as he crawls further on top of you.
You slide your arms up around the back of his neck to hold onto him as his lips work pure ecstasy into your mouth.
You sigh against him and he digs his fingers into your sides to get you to do it again. Now his tongue is in your mouth, softly swirling your own, smacking fiercely on your lips as he does so.
You're panting now, but Nanami is swallowing your breath with every second. He's leaning his weight on his palm, so his body isn't quite attached to yours, but you want to make him lose his balance so he can crash down on top of you. Every moment that you stay like this, your cunt drips wetter and wetter, seeping through your shorts onto his desk.
"So perfect," Nanami utters into your mouth, "s'much sweeter than I deserve."
You frown at his self deprecation but don't comment, instead your hands start sliding down his chiseled back, exploring the deep ridges and shapes of pure, hard muscle.
Then, plop! You blink in shock as his bunny ears have fallen plum onto your face, nearly gauging out your eye.
"Oh," he gasps, breaking away from you. "Forgot about these."
He pulls away from you, standing upright but staying between your legs. You swallow a needy whine at his absence, before sitting up with him, staring expectantly.
"Think they'll look better on you though, huh, darling?" he coos, reaching over your head and plucking your fuzzy ears off. Then, he’s replacing them with his bunny ears. "There, that's more fitting. I feel much more like the hunter than the hunted.”
You tilt your chin defiantly. "Mm, so I'm just an innocent rabbit in the sights of a dangerous hunter?"
“Clever bunny,” Nanami murmurs, leaning forward and catching you by surprise with a wet kiss at the nape of your neck. You shudder. “Time for me to eat my latest catch, hm?”
“I-I guess so-”
“Oh, don't get shy now, bunny,” he mewls against your ear. “Do you want to do this?”
You pretend to consider it, but your dripping hole has already answered for you. "Yes, sir."
Nanami purrs in response and taps your earlobe with his perfect teeth - before you're being shoved back on the flat surface. Three quick beats occur. Beat, shorts off. Beat, tights off. Beat, panties sliding slowly down your legs.
"God," he says, hooking his fingers over the trim of the panties, which are light blue in color, accented by an adorable pink bow in the front. "All this time, I could've had you like this, if only-” he cuts himself off to lean down and place a kiss to your inner knee.
Your nerves send repeated quivers over you. You dig your nails into the desk, but your palms are so sweaty that your hand slips. Nanami catches you, a heavy hand on your lower back, the other hand entangling in your panties and proceeding to rip them all the way off. Your clothes are now in a discarded pile to the right of you, fuzzy tail and ears a reminder of what got you into this position in the first place.
“Well we can make up for lost time now,” you whisper, sliding your feet farther apart until your knees are angled into the air - gaping pussy winking up at Nanami.
His eyes nearly jump from his body as he watches you open up for him, glistening cunt all in his face. He's sinking back down into the chair before either of you really processes it, and his heavy palms fall flat on your inner thighs.
"She's s'pretty, sweetheart," he coos, the breath from his words tickling your clit and making you writhe pathetically. "Haven't even touched you yet. Why are you shaking?”
You whine out in embarrassment. Something about your most perverted fantasies coming alive before you, Nanami talking to you like this, and him staring directly at the forbidden parts you'd never thought he'd see, is depleting your confidence.
"What's wrong, bunny?" he asks, reading your expression. "You look like you are second guessing this."
"N-No!" you cry out, making him jump, before you sigh. "Sorry, I didn't mean to yell. No, I want to. I'm just embarrassed."
"Why?" he perks a brow, astonished.
"Because you're so..." you huff uncomfortably, "fine, and here I am, of course anyone would be embarrassed of their own genitals, y'know I just kind of never expected this and-”
"Y/N," Nanami interrupts. "I've seen plenty of these before; all different types, sizes and colors. I am going to devour you regardless of what you think.”
You swallow thickly. Your head nods like a puppet, though you're unsure if that's you saying you understand, or telling him to go ahead.
While you're deciding, Nanami plants a kiss to your bikini line, then slides his hands to wrap his arms around your thighs so that it's now impossible for you to close them. Your stomach is on fire, and you're on the verge of gyrating your pelvis right into his stupidly perfect face.
"Tell me you want this, bunny," Nanami rasps, placing another loud kiss to your inner thigh.
"I want this," you confirm again, "want you."
You don't have to say anything else because his mouth has already found your clit. Warm breath travels between your folds as he keeps his tongue narrowed out to swirl agonizingly slow circles over the bulb.
Your hips convulse against his strength. It does nothing except prompt Nanami to flatten his whole mouth over your heat and pick up speed with his tongue.
"Oh, ohh," you drawl, your hands leaving the desk surface and going right through his fine hair. His hold on you ensures you can’t fall backwards, but you’re gripping his roots for dear life.
He grumbles against your cunt and you feel it all the way up to your ovulating uterus. The desire to have your womb house more of his children starts to enter your brain and you have to remind yourself that this is just sex.
Oh, but it's so much more than that. Nanami's taking his time to work your body, to know exactly which pace makes you cry out like a pathetic fucktoy, noting when you wriggle under his grip, as he pushes his fingertips into the flesh on your legs.
His warm tongue keeps your puffy lips parted effortlessly; lathering you up with his saliva, drinking in the fluid your body creates more of each second.
You sit up farther to look down at him; his eyebrows are furrowed and focused, his cheeks hollowed as he treats your twitching clit like his tongue’s dance partner.
He swirls, flicks, slurps - each variation unlocking a new noise from you as you fight back your orgasm.
As you watch him, your fucked-out, needy brain begins to tell you would give him whatever he wanted in this moment; six children and a house from scratch if that's what he requested. Because he deserves it; the way his tongue’s now dipping slightly into your desperate hole, making your hips jerk from the desk until he counter-forces them with his hands.
"Where do you think you're going?" he snaps, grazing his teeth over your clit.
You can’t even speak; he’s eaten your voice right out of you. His head shakes side to side as he plants his mouth back on you and peers up through his blond lashes, daring you to pull that stunt a second time.
Your hands are still deeply entangled in his roots, but at this point you can't keep your eyes in the front of your head. Your head lolls back on your neck as your hips twitch with an unholy amount of momentum. Your moans are growing dangerously loud; knowing full well there's an entire party nearby, as well as the possibility of nosy maids. Not that either of you care.
"Kento, s-so good," you lament, bucking your hips into his chin as if you could chase more pleasure than he's already giving you. The heat in your stomach is the first indication that your pleasure is morphing into an orgasm, but you don’t want to cum yet.
You want to try and run again, just to give yourself a little time to catch up…
The minute Nanami feels your hip bones sliding away from him, he pulls his mouth off of you; your orgasm slipping away. You take a deep breath in regret.
“Someone must not want to cum,” he taunts, keeping his mouth close to your trickling cunt. “Need you to stay still.”
“I can’t,” you breathe, trembling.
“Try for me?” Nanami requests softly, lifting your thighs into the air before plopping your feet flat on his shoulders.
He plants a heavy kiss to your clit after the adjustment in your position and you dig your toes into his back.
“F-For you,” you repeat mindlessly, brain officially scrambled like a breakfast platter.
“Mmh-” Nanami grunts, planting his fat tongue back between your slick folds, working his jaw intensely to finish pulling the orgasm out of you. He sticks the narrow tip back at your hole, flicking the rim of the inside as if it’s his purpose for living.
Your toes lift into the air as Nanami tests your flexibility, pushing your knees next to your ears. With the pressure built up in your stomach, you barely have time to mutter out the announcement of your orgasm before you're cumming all over his tongue and clenching your walls around the wet muscle.
"Give it to me, bunny," he moans, words muffled because of the way you're gripping his tongue with your pussy.
You keep shaking for a solid thirty seconds, because he is refusing to take his tongue out of you. When finally you’ve calmed to a slight twitch, he removes his face from between your thighs and the entire lower half of his face glistens in the light.
"That's one," he murmurs to himself, crawling back over you to plant a sloppy kiss on your lips. "You did so well. You taste so sweet, bun.”
"Can I return the favor?" you ask needily, dragging your palm down his chest.
He grinds his pelvis across your lower half, so that you can feel the sheer length of his bulge beneath his pants. "What for?"
Your eyes widen at just how large it feels; surely it's smaller than it appears.
"Wanna please you, sir," you babble out, watching his eyebrows furrow at the self-proclaimed pet name.
"Hm, think that ship sailed long ago,” he chuckles, rubbing his clothed dick against your inner thigh this time, and now, you take notice of the warm trail of precum that’s leaked through his pants onto your skin.
You dig your nails into his chest instead of replying. He bites back a groan and kisses your neck.
“I’m going to have to restrain you if you want’a keep being so touchy," he whispers sternly.
"I do have handcuffs," you say, following it with a giggle. Though you’re only half joking.
"That's cute," he mewls. "You think I need handcuffs to restrain you?" He pauses. "What's that you said? That I'm twice your size?"
You swallow thickly, remembering that you had, in fact, said that.
"So I can, and will easily pin you down, bun," he continues. "Don't act up, and I won't have to, yeah?"
You wish you can say you won’t, but if he thinks you dislike the idea of being pinned down, he must not be faking his innocence, like you’d thought.
A moment later, he's standing away from you, and his hands expertly unbutton his shirt. You watch him with desire, and he smiles a little shyly at you as he shrugs off the garment and tosses it to the floor.
“Funny, you’ve seen me shirtless before,” he says suddenly. “Why do I feel a bit nervous about it this time?”
You giggle and cock your head to the side, legs still spread wide. “Should’ve always felt nervous. I’m a huge pervert, y’know.”
Nanami dips his head before coming back to be close to your body again, his fingers mindlessly tugging on the hem of your shirt now.
“I know,” he whispers. “A little minx, you are.”
“Took you long enough to realize it, hm?” you tease as you lift your arms to assist him in removing the shirt. But you are caught off guard when he doesn’t continue.
"You're still sure you want to do this?" he questions, changing the subject. “I'm sorry. I'm going to ask a hundred times, it’s just a habit.”
"Yes, Kento," you rasp frustratingly. "Do I have to get on my knees and beg to be fucked for you to get it?"
He blinks, stunned, as if that is not something he ever considered; but does sound appealing to him.
"No," he says quickly, slowly lifting your shirt further over your body. "How did we end up here, hm? Was this your plan from the moment you crashed my Halloween party?"
"Uh-uh," you say innocently, as he pulls the shirt over your head. Now you sit completely naked in front of him - save for the bunny ears on your head.
"I get the feeling you're a big, fat liar," he teases, leaning back over you, now your stomachs are touching and everywhere your skin meets is tingling. "Didn't I tell you to be a good girl? Good girls don't lie."
“‘M not lying," you argue. "Admit you were over here waiting for me to show up all night."
"Maybe I was," he murmurs, dragging his top teeth over the connection between your neck and your shoulder before planting a wet kiss on your collar bone. "And you came for me, like always."
A gasp erupts from your throat and Nanami cuts it off by sliding his hand there. He uses his fingers to apply the gentlest amount of pressure to the sides of your neck and your body arches against him.
"Tell me if anything I do is too much for you, little fox," he coos in your ear before dropping his hand from your neck and standing back straight to quickly unbuckle his belt.
He slides the garment out of his belt loops, and discards it to the side, on top of your clothes. So in other words: close by.
"Kento," you pant, "please."
"Please what?" he questions, raising a brow innocently as he pops open the button to his tight pants - visibly taking a deep breath as his bulge pokes free.
"You're dragging this out," you whine. "I've needed you for so long. This is torture."
"So what?" he shrugs, allowing his pants to fall to the floor, where he steps out of them.
"I..." you cut yourself off with a frustrated grunt.
"You said please, but you aren't using your words, little fox.” He slides his body back over yours - his boxers now being the only barrier between you. "What do you want?"
"You, your cock, your mouth," you pant all of it out in one quick sentence. "I... I just need you inside of me, Mr. Nanami."
Your breasts rub against his hard chest, teasing your achingly hard nipples. Just so pathetic. Can’t control yourself. Your brain's swirling with desire and ecstasy for him. If he can't read your mind, you're sure he can see it in your face.
"Okay, sweetheart," he says, voice returning to its usual softness, "you got me. All yours."
He tugs his boxers down quickly, desperately. Now your hips are aligned to each other's. He's still hovering, his cock not even touching you yet. He slides a hand between your legs as his other keeps you steady, gripping harshly on your hip which is sure to leave a delicious bruise.
Your arms wrap around his neck and he drags his mouth across your jaw before attaching his lips to your neck. His fingers gather the drip from your hole, and then he slides them up through your folds and to your clit. He swirls the fingers softly, keeping his ear right next to your mouth so that he can hear exactly what he’s doing to you.
Your legs shake against his ribs while you moan for him, and he grunts as he takes in all of your body's reactions to his touch.
He goes to try and put a finger in your cunt but you grab his wrist. He does not argue with you, which should be a red flag, but you think you’ve won until he takes the hand he had been using to play with you and grips your wrist, yanking it back, and your entire body goes falling against the desk.
Somehow, both of your wrists are being pinned to the wood in one large hand now. You whine and squirm under him, but he doesn't care. His free hand grabs his cock.
He takes the heavy tip and taps it against your clit several times, each time causing you to gasp and arch against him.
"That's right," he whispers above you. "No escaping now, bun."
You blink up at him, lifting your hips to grind your pussy on him, which causes his lips to part and his eyebrows to furrow.
You open your mouth, tongue flying out, wanting to appeal to another twisted fantasy. “Need your spit,” you mumble shyly.
He seems to ponder for a moment before he realizes what exactly it is you are asking, and a moment later he is leaning forward, dripping a warm glop of saliva from his mouth down your throat.
“Mmh-” you moan as you swallow happily, before looking down between your legs where he is finally done lubricating himself on your juice. He's staring at you hopelessly, as if he’s thinking that putting his cock in you isn't going to be enough.
“So nasty,” he coos, “ready for me, sweetheart?”
"Hngh- please," you beg.
Not a second later, hot pressure is at your hole. Nanami slides his hips upward to push himself deeper, deeper, deeper - the girth feeling like it's going to simply rip you in half.
You shriek and shut your eyes tightly, waiting for the pain to pass. It doesn't.
You feel so embarrassed as he takes his free hand to lift up your left thigh, because pain shoots up through your stomach - and not the good kind.
"Ah- wait," you cry out, eyes falling open.
Nanami stops immediately. "What's the matter?"
"It... it hurts," you admit shyly, biting your lip. "Wh-Why d'you have to be so big?"
"Why d'you have to be so tight?" he chuckles back, but carefully slides out of you. "Hang on. I know what will help, little fox."
He pulls away from you, letting go of your wrists to lean over and dig into a random drawer in his desk. You have no idea what he could possibly be doing until he stands back straight, a hand still holding up your leg, while the other holds a small, light pink, bullet-shaped rubber object.
"Brand new," he says, eyeing it as he rotates it between his fingers. "Just put batteries in it."
You swallow as you realize what this implies. He knew he was going to fuck you - or at least, that he was going to use this toy on you at some point. Or, a third worse thing: it hadn't been for you at all.
You don’t want to think about that possibility, though.
He hands the little toy to you, a small buzz coming from it already.
"Hold it for me," he instructs. "I need my hands to keep my prey from running."
You gulp and do as he says, and again he is taking his cock head and pushing it against you, before it slides through the gummy entrance and you cry out again.
You hold the toy to your clit and the feeling travels straight through your veins. You focus on the vibrations and before you can even inhale again, your insides are completely full.
"Deep breaths, bun," he grunts, "feel her o-opening up… now.”
Did he just stutter? Kento Nanami, who's always so composed. You'd made him lose his wording. You.
Nanami takes his hands and pulls your knees up, holding them to his sides, while you keep your hand occupied on the little bullet between your legs.
The combination of the toy plus his cock filling you up and molding your walls against it has you aching to spill over, already.
Now that the searing has begun to dissolve, his cock is gliding effortlessly inside of you - feeling as though the organ was crafted to fit you perfectly. Your juices cover every inch of him, delicious squelches creating a symphony with your moans as Nanami's pace quickens.
He has his hands still pressed on your thighs but he leans forward and gently pulls a nipple into his warm mouth. You don't know what to do with your free hand, so it ends up on his back, nails mercilessly breaking open his skin. He hisses and nips your nipple between his teeth.
"Fuck. Me," he groans, pulling away from your chest to look down at you. You want to make a comment about how you already are, but he just looks so fucked out - so vulnerable. Lips puffy and wet, eyes shut tight, hair dangling over his forehead.
He’s ruined.
He claws his fingers into your outer thighs. His fingers dig so hopelessly into you as his cock swirls your insides, his hips now moving in a rhythmic wave motion.
Your hand falls away from your clit with the toy and you hardly notice that it's gone because now, his pelvis is brushing over it, sweat practically gluing the two of you together.
"Aw," he purrs, and you look up to see that his eyes are staring directly between your legs. "You’re creaming all over me. Shit - your cunt looks so good, swallowing me up.”
Your face heats and you take your hands to grip his arms, as he's now drilling into you so torturously that you're gliding up the desk - the sweat on your back making your skin slick. He notices you're moving away and shifts his hands to grab your hips, holding you down onto him, and now his fat tip is violating your cervix.
"H-Hah Kento, ngh - God," is all you can manage to say, but there’s nothing holy about what his cock is doing to you, as he angles himself upward, attacking your uterus from a new direction.
You shriek, so horribly loud. It sounds like a horror movie - which is fitting. You’ve nearly forgotten that it’s Halloween night; the moon full, your passions like the tides, being pulled to their peak.
You desperately feel a needy confession on your lips but you know that now isn't the time. You can't love a man you don't date... right? But you definitely love the way he's tearing up your insides, sure to leave you swollen and limping.
"I don't remember telling you that you could remove your hand," he snaps, realizing you’ve removed the bullet, "put it back. Now."
You shake your head, begging for mercy. "Was too much, c-can't take it."
"Yes you can," he whispers, leaning forward and hovering his mouth over yours, cognac-scented breath teasing your parted lips. "Put it back, or I stop."
You whine and obey, the vibration revisiting your clit making your body convulse against him.
"Mhmm, like that sweetheart," Nanami coos, staring at you as your face twists every couple of seconds from the introduction of new kinds of pleasure. "Stick that tongue back out for me."
Your mouth is open, drool practically spilling out of the sides in a millisecond. He's spitting another alcoholic saliva drop into your mouth the next.
His breath is ragged as he drags out, "Thought I knew everything. But y’teaching - hah - me new things. Like how I can never live without your pretty pussy, ever again."
You quiver your lip and dig your nails into his back again, ready to cum on his cock.
"S-Stop talking like that," you grit out. "G-Gonna cum if you don't stop."
"Is that supposed to scare me?" he questions harshly. "You can cum over and over. I’m not finished with you."
You shake your head, but before you can fire back, Nanami is suddenly sliding himself out of you. You panic and sit up, staring at him with wide eyes as he drops to sit on the chair.
His hands come up to grab your hips roughly, and he's effortlessly pulling you down off of the desk. Your stomach makes contact with his thighs as he lays you over his lap like a disobedient child.
"Nanami?" you breathe, but he doesn't seem to hear you at all.
"We just needed to pause for a second," he says softly, running a hand down your spine and over the hill of your ass. His voice is very misleading, as are his gentle gestures; you have no idea what's coming.
"N-No," you whine, "I was so close."
"But, naughty bunny, didn’t you tell me to stop?" he questions, distracting you from the fact that his fingers are sliding between your asscheeks and down to your swollen hole.
You jerk in his lap as two of his fingers glide down your slick, parting your thick lips, repeating the process several times just to watch you squirm.
“Y-Yes, but-”
“What’d I tell you about lying?” he grits, and a blink later his fingers have parted from your skin.
You turn to scold him and his hand cracks down on the back of your thighs.
You yelp, but the action exhilarates you in some kind of disgusting way.
“Oh, and here’s another for calling me Nanami,” he spits, another crack landing on your backside but this time - higher, and harder.
“K-Kento, I’m sorry,” you whine, but you truly don’t want it to stop. Your fingers dig into his leg and he hisses, his cock jerking against your stomach as his body responds.
“How sorry, bun?” he coos, voice faking softness before another pop! of his palm stings your skin.
“I’ll be good, promise,” you whisper, arching your hips up to encourage another smack.
“You like this, don’t you, naughty bunny?” he realizes suddenly, and you try to shake your head in denial - but he’s caught on. “Hm. I’ll only accept your apology if you give me two more orgasms. Deal?”
“Two?” you cry. “I-I’ve already had one!”
“Good things always cum in threes, baby,” he murmurs, running his hand over the pretty hand-shaped welps he’s left on your skin. “You can give it to me. You want to be good, don’t you?”
You don’t know when the shift happened, but you loved it. You loved how he was letting his soft facade crumble to the ground so that he could truly slap you around like you were just a hole. Truthfully, that’s all you wanted to be. Wanted to let him take out the stress of being a single father on your guts, fill you up with more babies to care for, and then kiss you on the forehead when it was all done.
Pathetic. This is still your employer, your boss. And not to mention how much older he is. You don’t care, but you’re unsure if he does.
“I wanna cum again, please,” you beg, wriggling your ass up to show him you still needed punishment.
He groans before his two thick fingers are pressing between your lips and then, shoving through the soft ring at your center.
Your body shamelessly arches, but he allows your arms to stay free, clawing into his skin wherever you can get a grip.
Nanami is making his own noises above you but you’re on the verge of tears, wailing and carrying on as he fucks you with his fingers, curling the tips into your squishy ridges to try and drive the cum out of you faster.
“Maybe we should get one of those tails with a plug,” he comments, tone implying he’s thinking out loud. “It’s a shame I didn’t get to see you in your cute little tail while I fuck you.”
“Hngh - no, mmh…” you don’t even know what noises to make anymore. Words escape your brain.
Nothing but mush and the burning of your approaching orgasm are on your mind.
“Hold it in for me,” Nanami requests suddenly, “I’ll tell you when I’m ready for it, sweetheart.”
“God,” you shake your head and clench your thighs, but Nanami’s strong hand forces them back apart.
Your toes curl on the other side of the chair, your head falling forward. The pulse in Nanami’s cock is still drumming against your abdomen, as if knocking on your tummy to threaten you to hold your orgasm.
“I-I can’t,” you say, “Please, can I-”
“Cum.”
Nasty, wet squelches don’t stop as your body sends you over the edge. Your vision blacks and you shake so hard that you nearly roll right to the floor.
He hums approvingly, slowing his fingers down as you clench around them. “Good job, bun. Only one more to go.”
“I can’t take another,” you shake your head, as he gently guides you up into a sitting position on his lap.
“You’re so strong,” he says, “the perfect person for me. The way you always take care of me and the kids, how you fit so effortlessly into our little family. I know you can do this for me, sweetheart. Let me repay you for all that you do for us. Make you feel good.”
You hadn’t expected this little speech. It almost brings you to tears as Nanami gently rubs your back, sliding his free arm underneath your legs to lift you princess-style back onto the desk.
“Say something,” he begs, his voice hoarse.
“I wanted to be good for you,” you grin softly, and he smiles back as he runs his hands gently over the top of your legs. “But you want to be good for me. Which is it?”
“Both,” Nanami whispers. “I told you that you already do everything that keeps me content. Now, I want to please you.”
You realize that he is passing his power off to you. Letting his dominance slip through his fingers and right into the palm of your hand. You think you can handle being in control for your final orgasm, so you grip him harshly by his cock and scoot your ass to the edge of the desk.
He moans so softly that it could have been a whimper. You take his curvy length and drag it up to be aligned with your hole.
“Is your cock alone gonna please me, hm?” you purr, swirling your hips to tease his cock head, salty precum spreading across your hole.
“Y-yes ma’am,” he mutters, body lurching forward as if he’s the overstimulated one.
“Prove it,” you quip, shoving him back inside of you before pushing your hips down onto him.
You furrow your eyebrows to try and pretend the pain of him entering isn’t still intense. You lift yourself off of your palms and feet, using them to fuck down onto his twitching cock.
“Hah - Y/N,” he speaks your name in two sultry syllables, putting his hands on the desk to fully release his control as you use him.
“Baby, I need to fill you up,” he continues, “b-but if you don’t want me to…”
“Yes,” you say, “want me to have your babies, Mr. Nanami?”
“Oh,” he whimpers, “shit. Shit, don’t say stuff like that.”
You whirl your hips on him in the shape of an ‘O.’
“Want to breed me?” you continue. “Make me all big and pregnant?”
“That’s enough,” he snaps suddenly, hand clamoring down on the belt that is to your side, before he grips the garment in his hand. He sits up from where he’d been leaning on you, before taking the leather and slithering it around your neck, pulling it through the buckle, and yanking it towards him like you’re just a pathetic bitch on a leash.
“You had your fun,” he grits, “now you need to remember your place, bunny. I’m going to fill you to the brim until your cunt can’t take anymore and it drips back out of you, got it?”
“Mmh,” you pull against his belt as your hips are no longer the once controlling the pace. “Nanami, n-nooo…”
Your voice tapers off as he fucks you, fucks you so good and hard and mean until you’re drooling and crying and shaking and hissing and-
“Cumming!” you scream, but Nanami shows no signs of slowing down.
“That’s it,” he says. “Number three. What about four?”
“Y-You said…”
“Oh, you’re the only one who gets to lie around here?” he chuckles, a deep hypnotic sound that vibrates against your chest. “It’s okay, sweetheart. I’m gonna - ngh” and one viscid moment later, Nanami begins to shudder, and it is the beginning of the end.
You cannot tell if you are mourning or rejoicing the conclusion of this insane chain of events, but you forget all about it when Nanami is spurting hot semen all over your taut, spongey walls - that are now sore and quivering from the excessive abuse.
Your name leaves his lips in between the sultry noises he makes, and his body jerks on top of you until he’s finished spewing his load. Now, he stands in front of you with his head dipped down as he pants for several seconds.
“Do you understand how addicting you are?” are the first words that leave his lips after he is able to drag his head up to look at you.
You’re focused on your own huffing as you try to come up with a witty response, but with your brain so fucked out, the only thing you can mutter is “Oh, Kento.”
He nestles his sweaty face into your neck and plants a feathery kiss there, reminding you that he is still the same gentle Nanami that tucks his children in bed at night and drinks green tea in the garden.
He is everything you have dreamed of, but the sex had truly sealed it. Now, as he slips out of you and his cum follows soon after, you feel your post-high clarity morphing into embarrassment at the fact that all you’d been feeling is lust; Nanami deserves so much more than that, including his recognition as a father.
“Why are you staring at me? Have I still got your nectar on my face?” he jokes, and you admire his ability to loosen the tension.
“I’m sorry,” you say meekly, “I just think you are amazing. I don’t want you to think I really did just come for some cock.”
At this, he laughs so hard that his torso shakes. You smile, as it is rare to hear, and you are the cause of it.
He grabs his shirt and begins to use it to wipe himself off, then does the same for you, his movements intentional and gentle as he cleans you up, rubbing all of the puffy, red reminders on your body softly.
“I don’t think that,” he says with a crooked smile. “But whatever the case, I do hope that things have… changed between us.”
You scoff. “I should hope so,” you tease, tilting your head as he stops his hands on your body. “I hope you’re not going around making every person who comes near you cum three times in one sitting and expect to just be friends.”
He grins. “Nah, that treatment is reserved for you, bun.” His hands slide up your hair and pat the fuzzy ears on your head. “We should keep these around, though. But I’d like to take you out before we use them again.”
You wrap your arms around his shoulders and bring his face to yours, planting a gentle kiss on his nose. “Of course. You did say good things come in threes,” you grin. “The sex was one. The date will be two. What’s three?”
And your question gets answered nine months later, when Nanami proposes to you on a white beach in another country.
…Right before you go into labor.
But of course, once the baby is out, it’s time to start on number 4 the following Halloween.
A/N 2.0
ty all sm for the love on this series so far i’m rlly havin the time of my life writing all these twisted monster-fucker stories ^.^
~ pennjammin
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pastadoughie · 5 months
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alottt of transmascs seem 2 think tyhat vocal training is somehow superr hard n super difficult, but its rlly not! i think part of this is in part because of voice instructional videos, half of them are people spouting bullshit or not being descriptive enough, and the other half (by vocal coaches) are loaded with technical termonology witch is missmatched between them, making it very difficult to tell what part of the body they are talking abt just to preface, you probably will not have an extrordinarily deep voice, but you can absolutely get a passing male voice even if you have a super high pitched voice! vocal gender is not determined only by how deep your voice is, you can have a high pitched male voice and a low pitched female voice to give you an example of how much change you can expect, here is my voice, ive been doing vocal training for about 3 years now.
there isnt actually a massive difference in terms of the depth, but there is a noticable difference in terms of masculinity i sound a little bit uncomfortable in the normal voice example, this is because i pretty much never use my natural voice, so its not my "default" voice anymore you will not lose your normal voice as you do vocal training, you simply will get better at controling your mouth and throat muscles to make it deeper, so if you are closeted you can still do vocal training while maintaining your higher pitch voice, its a matter of building up a muscle memory, after a while it becomes automatic the examples were taken like, a minute from eachother, its just moving your mouth in the right way you can also see i have a bit of a thicker accent while doing my vocal training voice, this is because pronouncing words very clearly and distinctly while also making your voice deeper is very difficult & something i am still working on note that this is still good to do and to work on even if you plan on going on T !! unless you have been on puberty blockers or started hrt very very early (at puberty age) then HRT will not be perfect and is not identical to the effects of stereotypical amab puberty, this isnt to say that it wont help, but the differences in larynx height that you will naturally get are not the same intensity as what generally happens in male puberty. this means you will have a higher then average male voice, as well as transmasc voices absent of vocal training generally sound more buzzy and nasaly here is an example, given by a dear friend of mine who would prefer to be unnamed
this isnt to dunk on anybody who has this kind of voice, i personally like it, but it is clockable if you know what to look for, witch could be unsafe depending on where you live to start : anatomy you are not a guitar, youre more like a bottle. to speak you blow air through your windpipe, and depending on the width of your tube/windpipe you will have a lower/ higher pitched sound, your vocal cords/voicebox are a fold in that tube, witch can open and close to constrict or widen your tube thin tube = higher pitched wide tube = lower pitched within stereotypical male puberty, these folds thicken, making them close less easily then thinner folds, making the voice deeper the opening/closing of the folds is sometimes called the "glottal cycle" and thick folds are are sometimes refered to as having a "high closed quotient" having thicker vocal folds is something only achivable through testosterone, but you can get a deeper voice by making your tube bigger, sometimes refered to as "lowering your larynx", a lower larynx results in an adams apple, and you can use how much of an adams apple you have during training as a phisical reference point
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beside your tube, you have a set of strap muscles, these you can move, its by controlling these that you can hold your tube open. you cannot move your windpipe itself, only the strap muscles
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to find your strap muscles, you can do a small excersize - in a relaxed position and your mouth open, place your hand underneath your collarbone to one side firmly, pinning the skin down - tilt your head backwards and close your mouth - hold for a few secconds, then close your mouth and tilt your head back to a normal position - repeat on other side you should be able to feel a pulling in the strap muscle on eather side, generally one is tigher then the other. doing this excersise can help you make them a lil more flexable, witch helps you maintain your deep voice when you move your head around making your voice deeper / lowering the larynx :
on an anatomical level, you are going to control your strap muscles to tug your windpipe downwards, creating more space and a deeper sound you can feel this in your mouth, use your toungue to feel the bottom of your mouth, this bottom part of your mouth is what you wanna try to make bigger, kindof like a frog
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people sometimes refer to this as speaking with a yawn, or liken it to trying to eat something large like a snowglobe, but this is a ultimately harmful way of thinking about it, and generally leads to people moving their larynx and mouth in a way that is straining, not very helpful for making your voice deeper, and also kindof slimey sounding you should not feel pressure in the back of your throat or the top of your mouth, you should only feel the pulling of your strap muscles and the expanding of the bottom portion of your mouth. below your toungue if you place your hand where your adams apple would be, you should be able to feel it bulge and tense up when you do this
you can do vocal slides in order to practice this - drink some water and clear your throat - take a deep breath and, at a volume and pitch that is comfortable and natural for you, open your mouth and go aaaaaa - trying to keep your mouth open the same ammount as you go, try and expand your tube, feeling the bottom of your mouth inflate a little, you can feel your throat to have phisical confermation of if you are doing it correctly - once you have reached the maximum ammount of open that is comfortable for you, try and hold that note as long as you can, being careful not to slide your pitch up if done correctly it should sound something like :
you need to make sure that you are pacing your air properly, you should be able to hold the note at a consistant volume for the length of the slide here is an example of a slide done without properly pacing your air, this is called "vocal fry"
you can help avoid this by doing the slide slower, you dont have to rush getting to the lowest note as fast as possible, try not to stress your vocal cords this slide is very difficult, if you are having trouble, you can modify the excersize if your issue is keeping your volume consistant, or keeping your jaw open the same ammount, you can do the same thing but humming instead
if your issue is pacing your air, and going into vocal fry, you can do the same thing, but you pant like a dog
being louder / vocal weight : vocal weight describes how loud you are / how much air you are pushing through your windpipe, if you find you are too quiet, you can try doing a volume slide
- drink some water and clear your throat - take a deep breath and, at LOW volume open your mouth and go aaaaaa, i would reccomend doing this at your normal pitch - trying to keep your mouth open the same ammount as you go, increase the ammount of air you let through your lungs, getting louder - hold it as loud as you can for as long as you can, and once you run out of air you can stop as with the other slide, you wanna make sure you do this one slowly, and make sure to start the slide at a low volume, this is to help you get more familiar with controlling the ammount of air you let through your windpipe once you get comfortable with that, you should combine that with the previous slide, and try to expand your tube/ lower your larynx as you get louder
maintaining that depth when speaking :
speaking is the same thing as singing, but it involves way more movement of the mouth, and if you dont change your technique a little between speaking and singing it will sound bad try to keep in mind the position of your tongue, while flattening it can help with getting the opening of your tube part down, you dont wanna actually talk like that, try to have your toungue in a natural position just resting against your bottom teeth try not to compress your throat, you shouldnt feel any kind of pressure against your windpipe, you should only feel a pulling in your strap muscles if you notice your voice sounds slimey or nasaly or muffled, youre focusing a little bit too hard on creating good mouth space that youre messing with your throat space
if you sound slimey, make sure you arent flattening your toungue against the bottom of your mouth, and that you arent straining or over exerting yourself, it shouldnt feel painful or tense at the back of your throat or top of your mouth if you have a hard time maintaining your voice while doing things you should stretch your strap muscles using the excersize in the anatomy section, if they arent super flexable then its going to be hard maintaining your voice while tilting your head when you start its gonna be pretty hard, so make sure that you dont overexert yourself or get hyperfixated on having a deep voice 24/7, you dont wanna damage your voice at all not being embarrassed / practical use :
alot of vocal training excersizes sound pretty stupid, but you dont have to do the excersizes exactly how they are shown here when doing my vocal training i generally sing or hum to a song, ideally one with alot of sustained notes and that doesnt require very fast pitch changes if you want a song i like to start with, i like this one by cats millionare, but you can really do whatever song you like as long as it works good for you
while not required having a male vocalist in the song can also help. it helps switch vocal training from a concious effort to a more subconcious thing, because your brain trys to mimic the voice of the people you listen to with speaking around people i used to feel a little embarrassed about using my deeper voice, because it made me feel like im just like. a stupid little boy trying to make my voice deeper to sound cool. but one thing you have to realize about this kind of thought is that its internalized transphobia if speaking in a certain way, even if its unnatural, makes you happier then you should do it, the idea of having a "natural" and "unnatural" voice is a common idea in transphobic retoric, this idea that youre "faking" a voice so you can "trick people" into "thinking that youre a different gender" ultimately, youre doing this to become more happy and comfortable in your voice, and if anybody HAS an issue with that or think that thats stupid, then theyre transphobic, though they probably dont realize it. if you dont like singing or humming, you can also just speak and read things out, there really is no reccomendation i have for this, maybe get on a call with your friends and play a visual novel or something, reading out all the dialougue. having friends while you do this helps, as you can have them remind you when you start losing or slipping up with the deeper voice you dont actually have to make sound to vocal train, you can do it in complete silence, anatomically youre just moving the muscles in your mouth a certain way, and the sound part is done by blowing air through, but the making sound part is just the final step of the excersizes and it is optional. you can vocal train in complete silence at any time i would reccomend doing it with sound to start, but as you get more used to it then you can do it without the sound to practice most importantly for doing it consistantly though is dont make it a chore to do, while the anatomical and technical aspects are important to learn the most important thing is having it be practical for you to do, so find a method to do it regularly that works for you you dont have to like, do it 24/7 or anything, though you will build a habit for it quicker if you do. if you need to switch how deep your voice is around family thats not gonna somehow take away your progress
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fankyu 4 reading!! if you have any questions pleaseplease ask them and i will try to respond!! i know theres alot of formatting issues, i tried so hard to fix them but tumblr is just not having it, i dont know why
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skyahri · 6 months
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How They'd Do You |Naruto Men X Reader| HC
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Characters: Sasuke Uchiha, Kakashi Hatake, Shikamaru Nara, Madara Uchiha, and Naruto Uzumaki.
Summary: How they are in bed.
Warnings: NSFW. Mentions of sex and foreplay. Breeding kink, breast and nipple play, head, etc.
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Sasuke Uchiha
Sasuke isn't one to give up control very easily, especially when he's in any sort of vulnerable state.
More often than not, he's on top of you, forcing your legs against your chest and not holding anything back as he thrusts into you.
On the rare occasion he allows you to top, he's still 100% in control. He always ends up taking over towards the end when he can't take it anymore. His release is close, and something in his brain is begging him to rail you.
He wouldn't be into actual choking in fear he'd lose control of his strength, but he's not afraid to use your neck as a handle of sorts to keep your body from moving too much.
Hes the embodiment of a breeding kink.
He's close to his end. He places his hand on your stomach and forces his seed in you.
If he's still got stamina, he's pushing you onto your hands and knees for round two, ass high up in the air.
"Not a single drop spills. Got it?"
Emergency contraceptive is your best friend, but let's be real. It fails sooner rather than later based on the sheer amount you rely on it.
Kakashi Hatake
Foreplay king. He loves head, both giving and receiving, sometimes even at the same time. Nipple play, fingering, whatever it is you're needing, he's providing.
Passionate.
When he does share his mind, it's never a light matter, and sex is no different.
Kissing, hand holding, praising - it's all a very important part of the act for him. He's pouring his heart and soul into you every time you're together.
But don't get it wrong, he's still a man. Those sweet nothings and soft whispers about how much he loves you quickly turn into dirty talk.
"You're such a good girl."
"You look so pretty wrapped around my cock."
"You're mine, you know that?"
He definitely sticks his fingers in your mouth.
After a certain point, he let's his dick do the thinking for him. You don't mind one bit.
He's all about aftercare. Rags or showers or just physical contact, whatever you want, he's got it. He knows he's not always the best at taking care of you, but this is one instance where he's confident about what he's doing.
Shikamaru Nara
My man is lazy and that doesn't change, even in the bedroom.
He usually doesn't go down on you but enjoys when you sit on his face. He'll wrap his arms around to grip your thighs. He's never one to turn down head but doesn't really make foreplay a priority.
Some might call him a pillow princess at first glance, but it's deeper than that. He has the control, he just let's you do the work most of the time.
You may be on top, but his strong grip and guiding fingers tell you exactly what to do.
Sometimes, he doesn't care for the pleasantries that come with dragging it out. He'll nestle between your legs and let his head dip down to your neck.
Lazy thrusts, but that's fine. Deeper is always better than faster.
He doesn't really do dirty talk, but he's definitely not silent. He's vocal, always groaning, maybe he'll tell you that he loves you if he's feeling a certain way.
Madara Uchiha
Most of the time, he's hate fucking you.
There's no time for foreplay when he's immediately slamming you against the wall when he gets home.
Despite all the anger radiating off of him as he mercilessly thrusts into you, he's calling you the sweetest nicknames he can think of. Love or Darling or something of the sort.
He always finishes inside. You're not sure if he's just too busy letting his frustration out to think, or if he's actively trying to get you pregnant.
It's both... sort of. For him, anger is just passion and fuel. It has nothing to do with his actions. He's pumping you full of his cum because he likes to claim you. He wants you to bare his children. He wants people to know you're his.
Aftercare isn't as straightforward for him. He's not offering to clean you up, but he tries to find ways to subtly apologize for turning you into a toy.
Naruto Uzumaki
Naruto runs on pure instinct in every aspect of his life.
He's doing what feels right in the moment and confirming it with you if it's something he's unsure about. (Consent is key).
He's a people pleaser. He's always making sure he takes care of you before he even thinks about himself. Eating you out, fingering, breast play, whatever you want.
He's sloppy. It's just something that always emerges with him. He's placing wet kisses on your neck, his hand placement can sometimes be a bit awkward, but it all adds to the experience.
His head gets so foggy with love and lust that he honestly can't think straight. The way his body takes control and he ravages you in an almost primal way, it's to die for.
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