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perfectlyoongi · 2 days

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THE GREATEST PROOF OF LOVE - Yoongi, wc: 854, i dare u to read this

“I love you.”

“No, you don’t,” you gently placed your hands on Yoongi’s chest as a light laugh escaped your lips sweetly.

“Yes, I do,” Yoongi said with conviction, joining his hands in yours, looking into your eyes and allowing you to lose yourself in them.

There was a brief silence where contemplation was practice by the two of you, a feeling stronger than love being conveyed in a simple look, in a simple holding of hands.

“Then prove it.”

You roamed Yoongi’s delicate face with your eyes, your words coming out of your mouth without your permission, your entire train of thought shrouded in Yoongi’s beauty.

“How?”

“Kill me.”

Yoongi felt your hands squeezing hard on his shirt. The feelings that you refused to utter began to rise in the tip of your fingers, in the tears in your eyes.

He didn’t speak.

Seeing you so immersed in his figure, so lost in your own emotions, Yoongi didn’t speak and allowed you to recite your emotions, giving you a stage for the dissertations that your heart intended to express, never shutting you up, never judging you.

“Say that you love me one more time. Kiss me and say you love me, that I am your moon and all the stars in the sky. Say you love me and hold me in your arms before the sunrise. And then leave me. Take with you all my magic and every hope that lie in me and never speak to me again. Never love me again. For I know that if you love me, I will never be able to love you back.”

“But, don’t you love me?”

Yoongi eased the pressure on your hand, your lover’s bright eyes brimming with worry and some doubt, so many questions and scenarios running through Yoongi’s turbulent mind.

“I do love you. But I loved you more yesterday when you held the café door for me. I loved you more last week when you gave me the last piece of cake. I loved you more when the idea of loving you was more enticing than the idea of dating you. Because no one ever loved me when I loved them, and everyone left me when I wanted them to stay.”

Yoongi pulled away from you, his hands dropping to his sides, totally lifeless, totally unresponsive, totally hopeless.

“If you love me, kill me now. Right here. Please. I won’t be able to withstand your departure tomorrow.”

“Why?”

Fear?

Insecurity?

There was a different gleam in Yoongi’s eyes, a new shadow that beautified the worry on his face, that made him intriguing, mysterious, different.

“Because now that you’ve say it, now that I’ve felt it, I will love you more tomorrow than I do today. I will love you more in two days when you take me home after work. I will love you more in a week when you tell me about all the legends contained in each star.”

“So, you love me?”

“Only until you kill me. Only until you destroy this love. Only until you destroy me.”

And, finally, a smile.

Yoongi gracefully approached you, one of his hands resting so lightly on your face, the other seeking out your trembling and so cold fingers. He proudly wore a small but careful smile that sent you back to frames of memories created in times when everything was easier, when feelings were not verbalized.

“What if I help you live?”

Your heart stopped beating for a brief moment - your hands felt warm at Yoongi’s words, your eyes losing themselves, once again, in his.

But this time it was different.

This time, when you looked into Yoongi’s eyes, there was something beyond contemplation and love, a deep sense of understanding radiating from your lover’s beautiful eyes.

And with that feeling came an immense calm that went through your entire body, wrapping you in a comfort so foreign to you, in a comfort that you had been craving for a long time. It was a wave of serenity that consumed you with Yoongi’s gentle gaze, waters of tenderness that bathed you in the delicacy of Yoongi’s touch, loving words that caressed you without any difficulty.

“What if I kiss you and say I love you and repeat it tomorrow? And the day after tomorrow? What if every ‘I love you’ I tell you is a promise of one more day with you? Every kiss I give you is the certainty of one love reborn in every moonlight? Because I don’t love you the same today as I loved you yesterday. Or as I will love you tomorrow. Today I love you as you are, tomorrow I will love you as you will be.”

Yoongi brought his forehead to yours and you stifle a laugh, Yoongi’s soft hair caressing your face in the gentle movement of the soft night breeze.

“Maybe it’s because I would never be able to kill you, or because I know I’ll never be able to leave you. But, for me, the idea of living for someone is the greatest proof of love.”

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prettypinkporkchop · 1 day

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Love u hunny❤️ love reading ur stories can I request one where Paul was ur bully in high school and u haven’t seen him since graduation where he made u cry then u see him at the grocery store and try to avoid him but he sees u and when u make eye contact he starts following u everywhere but of course u don’t forgive him to easy u make him work for it until he’s begging on his knees for u

I LOVE YOU TOO BABES! I GOTCHU!

Flashback:

You sit outside at the Cullen's house. Your party dress is soaked with beer because Paul poured it on you. You are crying, waiting for your parent to pick you up.

Paul tried to flirt with you, but to him, you turned out to be a prude. Now, he hates you. Your outfits are ugly. You're ugly, at least that's what he says.

His favorite things to do are taunt you. Fake flirt with you and laugh with his friends. He bumps into you and makes you fall on the floor.

One time, he bought you a drink from the vending machine, but he put mentos in it, so it exploded in your face.

Now:

You're holding the basket, looking at meats to cook. You feel eyes on the back of your head. It confuses you, so you turn and make eye contact with Paul Lahote.

Your heart speeds up, and you hold your breath. You quickly turn away and drop your basket. You're not even worried about anything else but leaving.

You run out, turning back to see Paul walking quickly. You speed up and get inside your car. You look back to see he stopped and is watching you.

--------

You open your door and slam it shut. You slide down, breathing really hard in panic. You start sobbing.

You thought moving further away from Forks would save you. You were so wrong.

You hear a knock on your door. You jump up up and answer the door.

Paul.

"I'm sorry. For everything." He says. You slam the door in his face.

You back away slowly. But you can hear him behind the door. "I need to talk to you. This is important." He says.

You ignore him completely. You walk away from your door and take a deep breath in and out. Suddenly, you feel the urge to actually let him speak. But, you're scared. But you two aren't teens anymore. Come on. Suck it up.

You step to the door and open it. Paul's face lights up. God, he looks so different. His hair is cut, and he's so... big.

"What do you have to say?" You lean on the door.

He looks over every detail of your face in awe of you. He coughs slightly and then shifts his feet. "I just want to say I regret the things I've said and done to you. They aren't right at all. I've changed, and I was really hoping I could make it up to you." He doesn't lose eye contact.

Your hands start to sweat. Is he for real right now? You have to gather all of the words you want to say. It takes a few minutes of staring at his face before it comes to you. "Paul, look. I appreciate whatever you're trying to do here, but you've hurt me. You've hurt me a lot. I still to this day feel like I'm nothing. And it's solely on you." You were surprised by how you stood up. You seemed so confident, but deep down, you wanted to curl in a ball and hide.

You notice a change in his face. He looks genuinely upset and guilty. His wipes over his face, and then his fingers hold his chin before falling next to his side. "I understand. I know. I'll do whatever I can to fix this." He says.

"Why do you want to? Why are you here?" You ask with attitude.

"Because, seeing you again, I realized something. I don't want you to hurt. You're not supposed to hurt around me or because of me."

You are confused as hell and don't understand what he means by that. He notices your confusion and then reaches out his hand for you to shake.

"I will tell you everything you need to know. But can you please give me a chance to start over with you." He begs.

You stare at his hand. He's so attractive. The way his veins and muscles look. Damn it, Lahote! Why now?

You shake your head and back away. "No. Not now." You shut the door.

You walk into your room and lay in your bed.

The next day, you wake up and check your phone. You have a message from an unsaved number.

Number: ayo, it's Quil. Remember me? Haha. Well, I was just wondering if this is still your number from school. If it is, hello! Can we talk about something?

Quil Ateara?! What?!

You haven't changed your number in years. This is a weird surprise. Quil was a good friend of yours. Along with Jacob, Embry, and Bella. You haven't spoken to any of them in YEARS.

You: Hey! Long time, friend. It's still me. What's up?

Quil: awesome! Well first off, how ya been?

You: I've been good. Moved out of the house when I turned 19. I have a good job. Life is peaceful. How are you?

Quil: well, a lot has changed. A looottttt. But it's okay! I heard you ran into Paul.

You: how do you know?

Quil: he told me. We are good friends now. Trust me, he's not the same guy he was back in school.

You: it was good talking to you. Lmk if you need anything.

You left it at that. What the hell?

You get out of bed and get ready for the day. You sit on your computer, doing check-ins for your job.

Your phone rings so you answer it. "Yup?" You ask.

"Hey, can you come into the office today? I have a side quest for you." Your coworker giggles. Oh gosh, Jessica. What does she need now?

"Well, I was supposed to work at home today. What do you need?" You ask.

"Girl, our boss is so flirting with me. I need backup. Should I ask him out?" She whispers.

You sigh and pinch the bridge of your nose. "Jess, he's like 50. And that's not even allowed!" You laugh.

"Please come in!" She begs.

The drama would be fucking hilarious to see. "Fine." You say.

You head out of the house and go to the office. You park in your usual parking spot. A truck you've never seen before pulls up next to you. You squint to see who it is. They get out of the truck and it's fucking PAUL.

"Paul, what are you doing here?" You sigh in annoyance.

"I just wanted to give this to you." He says, walking around the car to you. It's your favorite flower. Did he remember your presentation in biology?

"Oh, thank you. I've got to go inside." You take it from him and turn around to walk inside. You're smiling, enjoying the attention Paul is giving you.

He's always been attractive to you, but now, it's extra. You can tell he has changed. But, you're not ready to get over the past yet.

You go inside and head to Jessica's station. She's not there. You look over to see everyone huddled over at the boss' door, listening.

Oh yeah, she got fired.

----

You get home from the store and notice a note on your door. You grab it and read it.

"Y/n, I think you're a wonderful person. I'm sorry and I'll say it forever."

The note actually made your heart soften for him. But, you can't give in.

----

You're at work, typing away. It's been a terrible day. Since Jessica got fired, all of her jobs have been put on you. Things are piling up.

There's a knock on your station wall. You look up and see a coworker. "Jesus, you scared me." You sigh.

"Sorry! Someone sent you something." He places it on your desk.

It's a black box. You slowly open it. Inside is a handmade bracelet. It's so pretty. Then, there's a note.

"I'm sorry."

---

You get home and see that familiar truck pull in behind you. Paul quickly gets out and walks over to you.

"What now?" You ask. You notice he is shirtless. His abs are crazy and he has a tattoo on his shoulder.

"Look, i.. I need to tell you something." He seems scared.

You decide to let him speak.

"I actually don't want you to think I'm crazy. Do you want to come to a bonfire with me tonight?" He asks.

"Not really." You scoff.

"It's just me and the guys. It's at the rez. We just talk over the tribes legends. This is very important." He urges.

"Fine. But no funny business." You say sternly.

"Yes, ma'am. I promise." He says genuinely. "I'll pick you up in an hour or so whenever you're ready." He goes to walk to his truck.

"Hey, no. That's too much driving. Just come inside and wait for me to get ready." You say.

He stops and looks at you with surprise. He follows you inside and looks around the house. You point to the couch and then go into your room. You leave him alone in there while you get ready.

You step out and see him sitting on the couch, thinking. "Ready." You say.

He jumps out of his thoughts and smiles up at you. "You look stunning." He gushes.

You can't help but blush and look away. "Thanks. Can we go?"

-----

You sit at the fire listening to Billy Black talk. Paul has been following you around the place. Every step you take, he's right behind you. But you've met some awesome people! Plus, you rekindled with Jacob, Embry, and Quil.

"The wolf in us can sense what humans can't. We must be ready for what is to come. It doesn't stop here. The quiet is only for a moment. Hold onto your imprints, your family, and friends. We don't know what could happen." Billy warns.

You turn to look at Paul. You're so confused. HUH!

After that, you sit in Paul's truck, waiting for him to take you back home. He finally gets in the drivers seat and sighs. "It's all true." He said.

"What, you're a wolf? You cut your hair, got buff, and got a tattoo just like your friends?" You scoff.

"It's serious. Vampires and shifters are real. And you're my imprint." He looks at you.

Your chest is starting to hurt. What have you gotten yourself into?

You're staring at his beautiful face. You're just falling in love. You have to stay strong. "Take me home, please." You say.

You open the door, slam it shut, and head to your house. Meanwhile, behind you, there's a begging, Paul. "Please don't leave me like this. I'll do anything for you. You are my world. I want to show you that." He calls out.

You stop in your tracks and turn to him. Before you can speak, he falls to his knees. "Y/n, let me love you." You can see a tear shed.

A switch flips in you. "Paul, can you show me?"

He looks up at you. "My.. wolf?"

You nod your head in response. He reaches out his hand for you to grab. You hesitate, but slip your fingers under his thumb. His big and warm hands fill you up with butterflies. You can't help but stare at how your hand fits in his.

But he starts walking, bringing you to the backyard of your house. He stops and backs away from you. "Stay right there. Don't get too close. I'm going to take off some of my clothes. You can turn around or close your eyes."

You turn your heels and face the other way, looking at the trees. You hear cracking and growling. You turn around. On the ground is a pile of clothes and shoes. In front of you stands a dark gray wolf. It is huge! You look into the brown eyes, and instantly, you feel Paul. The wolf whimpers and lowers its head.

After that ordeal, you're sitting on your couch, listening to Paul explain everything. You watch as his lips move. You just want to kiss him now.

You're zoned out. You lean in, interrupting him, and kiss him. He's in shock but grabs the back of your head and kisses you back. God his lips. They're moving in sync with yours. You can't pull away. No, you can't. You want more. You start to move your body closer, about to straddle his lap but he stops you, grabbing your hips. He pulls away and chuckles.

"No, no. That's another time, beautiful." He smirks.

You blush deeply and bite your lip, staring at him. "It all makes sense." You whisper.

#twilight #jacob black #jared cameron #embry call #sam uley #paul lahote #seth clearwater #twilight wolfpack #quil ateara #leah clearwater #paul lahote x reader

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winnieswnie4ever · 2 days

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18 + topics ahead ig (?) scroll if u don’t like it

⋆˚ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁⋆౨ৎ ₊˚ 🦢・₊✧

i give up, i want him in me so so deeply WHAT THE FUCKKK!! like, i’ve been going insane over edits of him from 2012-2019 LIKE??? idek what im saying at this point.

i can’t put into words how i want this male to man-handle me and just to put me in my place fr. and i’d take “ultraviolence” to the next level because i’d love for him to punch me and spit on me and i’d apologise for falling onto his shoes. UGH, i will never stop going on about the things this man could do to me.

if anyone has read “my living nightmare” or “satan’s reincarnation” ( before it got deleted *sob* ), YOU WOULD UNDERSTAND WHAT IM ABOUT TO SAY. everything that bill did to angelina, ugh if only tom would just do it to me LIKE guys i swear im not going insane.

#tokio hotel #tokio hotel tom kaulitz #georg listing #tom kaulitz smut #gustav schäfer #tom kaulitz #bill kaulitz #kaulitz twins #tokio hotel smut

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cryptiduni · 1 year

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“white mourning.”

#‘‘A white mourning. A modern death. Divorce or something similar. All you can do is put more distance between you & him. make him smaller.’’#jean is a very easy character to hate if you know nothing about him. & you know what they say. easy target doesn’t make for a good practice #judit literally compares harry to intellectually disabled man yet you don’t see ppl hating her because she is outwardly nice.#she’s polite yes but she doesn’t care as much as jean cares for harry #he is not perfect. he is mean. but loyal. if he truly didn't care he wouldn't hab come back to martinaise & coulda just reported harry’s as #he put up with du bois’ bullshit for years and built a toxic (totally straight) relationship with him yet always comes back.#he says he will leave you in the village to die but please understand harry isn't exactly a great person. especially pre-bender hdb.#planned a make up joke & put on a wig for hdb even tho he wasn’t the who started the whole fiasco #you can hate him all you want for leaving harry before & during tribunal but how could he have foreseen all this bullshit would have happen #his second leaving is kinda bullshit writing but #jv is dealing with his own demons too. clinical depression. partner almost died. job is shit. case spiraling out control #i do not blame the DE staff either. sometimes shit just happens. not everything needs a grand explanation.#but it definitely coulda been handled better. but i understand. resources were sparse.#i relate to jv. as someone with temper issues & attention problems i have to remove myself from the scene or i'll say shit i'd regret late #my man is having the worst week of his life. leave him alone.#kim is great but have u heard of a man who thinks he's old when he is only 30 & luvs horses & his commie boyfriend that he's divorcin' soon #disco elysium #de fanart #jean vicquemare #disco elysium fanart #jean heron vicquemare #jean posting #illustration #de #artists on tumblr #I WANTED TO DRAW THIS FOR MONTHSSS YOU COULDN'T IMAGINE. HE LITERALLY HAUNTED ME IN MY SLEEP!!!#i love him normal amount. very healthy. much feelings #my little maiu maiu #cryptiduni #my art

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andro-dino · 1 year

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watched all of 2012 and went insane

this one is from last year but I still like it a lot. making human designs for nonhuman characters that are hard to draw my beloved <3

#tmnt #tmnt 2012 #tmnt leonardo #tmnt michelangelo #tmnt raphael #tmnt mona lisa #raphmona #casey jones #april o'neil #when I originally watched 2012 as a lil baby child I only got to mid season 3 so everything afterwards was completely new to me #so Raph and Mona have wrecked my entire world #THEY ARE SO CUTE I HAVE GENUINELY SOBBED OVER THEM #went back and rewatched all of the episodes Mona was in because they make me so sick #Leo made me yell a lot too #mostly ‘AUTISTIC TURTLE. THEY GAVE THE TURTLES AUTISM’#genuinely like half of his screen time #he is literally me irl u don’t understand #I like my human design for him a lot.#I love 2012 casey and Leo so much you have no idea #need to make designs for raph and Donnie but it’s so hard I have literally no idea what to do with them

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monsterfuckermilligan · 13 days

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i am not anti sam but i sometimes find myself hating sam because some samgirls are super into bio/gender essentialism whether or not they realize it. sam is a woman and dean is a man and sam is the victim and dean is his abuser like what show are you watching?

#as much as we all like to have fun these are two cis men characters who have roles to play in the narrative they don’t escape #they are both being abused. we find this out *fully* in s14 #but it’s always been present. this is the abuse sam and dean winchester show #but some of y’all don’t actually understand abuse! you think abuse is just being mean and yelling #‘sam is a woman because his autonomy is taken away’ your idea of womanhood is fucked up and you should unpack that #if you compare sam to a woman because he’s been SA’d then you are WEIRD. they are both men canonically getting SAd????#like yes dean has some weird stuff about his own gender that he needs to unpack but it’s part of a mask?? like if u genuinely #believe that he seriously 100% believes this stuff then you don’t know his character at all #and yes their relationship is toxic but if you think for one second that there’s a genuine power imbalance then you’re sorely mistaken #dean’s entire identity is based around taking care of sam. sam can do wrong but not enough to be truly held accountable #it doesn’t matter what he does. dean will always protect him and be there and do whatever it takes to save him. he will always forgive him #and sam knows this and uses it to his advantage. he repeatedly goes behind dean’s back and avoids the communication he says is so important #he blames dean for shit that isn’t his fault because he’s there #and no he may not fight dean on stuff but he can. he often doesn’t because he doesn’t want to!#they enable each other and they don’t grow because they can’t because there’s always something else BECAUSE THEY’RE BOTH BEING ABUSED BY GOD #they’re not allowed to take a break. they’re not allowed to slow down or stop or rethink it’s always the end of the world #so yes some of y’all annoy me with the ‘i wish dean was nicer in the midst of his trauma’#shit or saying that therapy fixes everything stuff or whatever #and the fact that so many of y’all use that to treat sam like some fragile white woman who can’t #have an opinion without her husband’s permission is WEIRD like your gender stuff is weird #and just repacked essentialism onto them. idc if you’re trans. unpack that shit cuz your meta is full #of rad fem friendly or adjacent shit if you refuse to talk about gender without using abuse as an argument #because that does not hold up in canon of these two FICTIONAL MEN!!! or in the real world #(edit: most of the stuff i see is by cis women but im saying ‘idc if ur trans’ bc it’s not exclusive to them)#supernatural #sam winchester #dean winchester #wank adjacent #maybe just straight up #fandom wank

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jasontoddenthusiastt · 9 months

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The New Titans #55 (1989)

Batman (2010-) #641

…

Red Hood and the Outlaws (2016-) #6

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Batman and Red Hood (2011-) #20

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Batman (2016-) #138

They sure do bAT&Tman. They sure as hell do.

Yet Jason never thought this way about you.

#Don’t you dare kill them with a simple headshot Jason! I have to keep them alive so I can torment them until they wished they were dead #they’ll never use their hands again. this is the superior way #and you should follow in my footsteps as any self-respecting non-criminal vigilante would in order to keep your conscience squeaky clean #also how dare you not be more understanding of the fact that I completely betrayed your trust #and threw your unhealable trauma in your face and shamelessly admitted to it #after I slit your throat in front of the murderer responsible for that same trauma while he laughed in your face a few years back #god you are a terrible son u are so selfish everything I ever said about you while u were dead was true ur being such a burden rn #also I just love how in batman 640 Bruce was going around interrogating Ollie and Clark (ppl who died + came back)#to find a *~rational~* explanation for how Jason was even here #instead of yk. just being glad your child is alive #and when Damian died he does all this shit to Jason to figure *how to* bring Dami back #after he burned his artwork the same way he emptied out Jason’s room #god you flaming turd of a father never change #the fact that lobdell boiled down Jason’s reasoning to ‘he’s the bad guy and you’re the good guy Jason’#already shows we’re starting off on the wrong foot but #Jason coming back to Bruce in every new comic and saying the same ‘I tried it your way. or sucks’ thing is so silly because #it*#he already learned that decades ago #all the way back in batman 424 lol #you’re just. making him. look like an idiot. but yk what maybe that’s still better than the self-deprecating diversion bs #that’s actually convincing more people ‘yay Jason want redemption this is revolutionary & has definitely never been done a billion times b4 #and is a step in the *right* direction’#my post

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simcardiac-arrested · 11 months

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i don’t think we’re ever getting out of the “we’re just friends” “oh yeah those characters are such good friends (sarcasm)” “they’re not friends they’re gay” etc etc hole. we’re never getting out of that hole

#yes it’s bad when people try to erase gay relationships to portray them as friends and nothing more #that is NOT what i mean. i’m talking about when people do the Opposite Thing and decide that when characters are romantic togethr #then suddenly they’re not friends anymore! or if they say they’re friends they’re lying!#like … i was watching nimona with my friend yesterday and like. if you’ve seen the movie you know how obviously gay and in love bal and #ambrosius are. and then there’s this one moment where ambrosius says ‘i have lost everything the man i love my best friend’ and at that #moment my friend was like It’s sad that they decided to censor their relationship even though this movie is still rly gay :( and i was like #WHAT are you saying ? these two men are clearly in love with one another BUT they’re also best friends. Like those are things that can #coexist!! and DO coexist!!! there are many cases where people consider their romantic partners their best friends . or even refer to them as #their best friends more than just partner!!!!!! LIKE WHAT ARE YOU SAYINGGGG . does anybody get it #does anybody understand #i’m so sick of amatonormativity i’ll start eating drywall #yes i love making ‘oh they seem like really good friends’ jokes because i know how most people interpret those jokes. but to me it’s like #well. they ARE really good friends. they’re just also romantic/gay about it. ghhehghh #maybe one day friendship will stop being seen as something lesser maybe one day people will realize that most romance is also friendship #and your partner can be and in most cases is your friend or your best friend even #and maybe one day we’ll stop acting like friendship & romance are two mutually exclusive things #and maybe sure that gay character is calling their love interest their Best Friend because of denial and repressed emotions and whatever #but have u considered that it’s just true and they really are best friends ?? like when crowley calls az his best friend sure that might be #gay denial but they also literally Are best friends i don’t know what to tell you. and they will always be best friends #DOES ANYBODY GET IT !!!!!!!! js any of this making sense i dont know. I love complaining #crammerposting

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quietwingsinthesky · 1 year

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not to think seriously about the samelia arc but idk something interesting there through the lens of aromantic dean coming back and just. not getting it.

One of the first things he asks Sam about what happened while he was gone is “was there a girl?” and when told there was, he’s very upset by that. There was a girl, and in Dean’s mind, Sam chose her over Dean. And wants to continue choosing her! Wants to go back to her, says as much about wanting to go back to that life and almost does after the text message debacle!

And looking at this from Dean’s POV, Dean who tried to have that same kind of Normal Heterosexual Romance Life with lisa, and who it didn’t work for. could never quite make himself fit into place, couldn’t give her things he wasn’t even aware he couldn’t feel. who, as soon as he knew Sam was alive, made it a priority to stick close to his brother even at the expense of that relationship with Lisa. Like. Of course Dean doesn’t get what Sam wants with Amelia. He tried it! He lived it! For him, it felt wrong!

His life with Sam, for all that it’s a fucked up one, is more fulfilling to him than “being in love” with Lisa, and so even beyond the fact that he’s always going to need to choose Sam because that’s been his job since he was a kid, he’s always going to want to choose Sam.

and the idea that there’s some hierarchy of relationships for Sam where Dean isn’t the one he wants to spend his life with? That’s terrifying and confusing to him (if completely untrue, since Sam also proves time and time again that in the end he’ll always choose Dean.) Dean’s got no idea what being aromantic actually is, he’s Dean. Meaning to him, what he had with Lisa is either what everyone gets out of a romantic relationship or he’s broken in ways other people aren’t, depending on how much he hates himself that day. Neither of which are true, but you can see how, with that assumption, the idea that Sam wants to leave this life with him for a woman he met less than a year ago is kind of hard for him to process.

#does this make any sense lmao #Dean 🤝 me: ‘why is this person so special to u? u love them? that sounds fake. I’m the one you’ve known forever.’#it’s this weird intersection of jealousy society says you’re not allowed to have because your friend/brother is Right to put their romantic #partner before you in every situation (fucked up). and not understanding the hype because. u don’t get those feelings. don’t happen to you #staring at amatonormativity and feeling like shit that you’re on the outside of everything #which. clearly. would aggravate uh All Of Dean’s Issues.#this man can fit so much abandonment in him #anyway. Dean’s reaction to Amelia bad for many reasons but understandable too for many reasons.#but especially if he’s aromantic and Does Not Get why sam thinks loving this woman is a fair enough reason to leave his life with dean #spn #dean winchester #aro!dean

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