#been trying to get some sleep but i can’t stop thinking of CARLOS SAINZ

[leclercsbf]

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[maxtermind]

absolutely loved ‘baby, would i still be your lover’, everyone single one got me in my feels! i was wondering would you consider doing a part 2? whether it ends in angst or fluff

I'll tell you the truth, but never goodbye

★ : summary :: when he accidentally insults you during an argument- aftermath ★ : feat :: max verstappen, lewis hamilton, carlos sainz, charles leclerc, lando norris ★ : genre :: hurt/comfort, hints of angst ★ : word count :: 4.3k ★ : a/n :: thank you so much for the love on part 1 💓 some of these have open ending so you can pick whether you'd like to forgive them or not as a reader!! feedback is appreciated :)

( part 1 )

Max Verstappen

You sighed as you sat down to have your morning tea as usual, trying to pretend that nothing was wrong. As if you hadn't spent all night long getting your phone spammed with calls that you were ignoring.

After mindlessly roaming around for a bit, you eventually decided to crash at your best friend’s place. You lazily waved at her as she frantically got ready to leave for work. However, you were on your tiptoe as soon as the door opened.

A body that was possibly sleeping while leaning against the door fell inside and you heard curses that you were quite too familiar with. Your heart clenched at the sight of your boyfriend - or perhaps now, your ex-boyfriend - on his knees, nursing the wound on his head. The ache of seeing him in pain reignited the anguish you thought you had left behind.

“Okay,” you heard your friend murmur. “I'm gonna let you guys get to it.” She was out the door a second later.

You looked at the closed door instead of the man who was desperately trying to make eye contact with you.

“How long have you…” You trailed off before deciding that you didn't want to know.

“As soon as you turned your phone off, Y/N! I've been here since last night.” "Why?" you choked out, the words barely escaping your lips as tears threatened to overflow. His brows furrowed before he ran his hands over his face and got up to sit right next to you. You saw his hand itching toward yours and instinctively pulled it towards your body. "Because I needed to see you in person, to talk." He took another deep breath and you later realized that he was trying to stop himself from crying. “I realize I messed up, baby. I.. I never should have let you walk out.” But his attempt to mend the shattered pieces of your relationship only served to reopen the wounds, your walls instinctively rising in defense,"Talk? You think a talk is going to fix everything?" Max's eyes were filled with a mix of regret and desperation as he reached out for your hand, his fingers trembling slightly. "No, I don't think a talk will magically fix everything," he admitted, his voice raw with emotion.

"But it's a start. I need you to know that I'm truly sorry for what happened. I hate myself for hurting you, for making you doubt how much you mean to me."

You couldn't bring yourself to meet his gaze, the pain of the previous night still too fresh in your mind.

“How can I trust you again, Max? How can I be sure that this won't happen again?" Your voice was barely a whisper, filled with the ache of betrayal.

Max's grip on your hand tightened, his eyes pleading for understanding. "I know I've messed up, Y/N. But I'm willing to do whatever it takes to earn back your trust. I'll work on my temper, I’ll be better to you, I'll do anything you ask of me. I just need you to give me another chance." “You know you’ve always been the best to me, right? I just can’t believe that instead of talking it out yesterday, you straight up skipped to breaking up wit-” Fresh tears started falling down your cheeks. Max immediately leaned forward to hold you in his arms and you let him because you needed him. But how could you trust him again? How could you be sure that history wouldn't repeat itself? That he won’t throw away your whole relationship just because the anger got a hold of him? As Max held you close, you felt a wave of conflicting emotions wash over you. Part of you wanted to push him away, to scream and shout at him for causing you so much pain. But another part of you craved his warmth, his touch, his presence.

"I'm sorry, Y/N," Max whispered, his voice thick with emotion. "I know I messed up, and I hate myself for it. I never meant to hurt you, I swear."

You buried your face in his chest, the tears soaking through his shirt as you struggled to make sense of your feelings.

“I just don't know if I can do this anymore, Max," you admitted, your voice muffled against him. Max tightened his embrace, his arms wrapping around you protectively. "I understand," he murmured, his voice gentle. His admission eased your thumping heart a bit, you were glad to have him back. The storm within you finding a momentary calm.

"I made you feel like our relationship was disposable, like breaking up was no big deal. But that couldn't be further from the truth. You're the most important person in my life, baby and the thought of losing you terrifies me. I'll do whatever it takes to make things right between us, to show you just how much you mean to me. I'll do whatever it takes to earn back your trust if you still want me."

Lewis Hamilton

The weight of Lewis's words hung heavy in the air, suffocating you as you retreated into the sanctuary of your bedroom. Tears streamed down your cheeks unchecked, your heart aching with a pain you couldn't quite comprehend. How had a day that started with such a promise turned into this? You buried your face in your hands, the sting of Lewis's words feeling like acid running through your veins.

Outside the door, the silence was deafening, broken only by the muffled sound of your sobs. Lewis stood frozen in place, his mind racing as he replayed the exchange in his head.

He couldn't believe the words that had escaped his lips, couldn't fathom how he had allowed his frustration to morph into such hurtful remarks.

Minutes stretched into eternity as Lewis grappled with the weight of his actions, the gravity of his words settling like a lead weight in his chest.

He wanted to reach out to you, to apologize and make things right, but his feet remained rooted to the spot, paralyzed by the magnitude of his mistake.

Inside the bedroom, you were consumed by a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. Anger, hurt, betrayal - they all swirled together into an ugly monster, threatening to engulf you whole.

How could the man you loved, the man who had always been your rock, turn on you with such venom?

But beneath the anger and hurt, there was a flicker of doubt, a gnawing fear that maybe Lewis's words held a grain of truth. Maybe you were too insecure, too needy, too demanding. Maybe you were asking for too much, expecting him to be there for you when he had his own priorities and responsibilities. Maybe-

The sound of a soft knock on the door snapped you out of your thoughts, and you looked up to see Lewis standing there, his expression wrought with regret and guilt. For a moment, neither of you spoke, the weight of the unspoken apology hanging heavy in the air. Looking at him distraught made your chest feel worse. How could he make you feel ten fold worse than this and not feel a thing? 

"I'm sorry," Lewis finally whispered, his voice barely audible. "I didn't mean what I said. I was out of line, and I know I hurt you. Please, let me make it right." He rushed through the words.

His words pierced through the haze of your pain, and you felt a bit of heaviness leaving your body. He crossed the room in a few strides, dropping to his knees in front of you, his eyes pleading for forgiveness. 

"I don't know what came over me," he admitted, his voice thick with emotion before your boyfriend took your hand away from your face and kissed your cheeks. "I was so caught up in my own frustrations that I lashed out at you, and I hate myself for it. You don't deserve to be treated that way, especially not by me."

You studied his face, searching for any sign of insincerity, but all you saw was genuine remorse and regret. And despite the pain still raw in your chest, you couldn't deny the love you felt for him, the longing to mend what had been broken between you. “You hurt me,” you whispered but didn’t push him away as he laid down with you, holding you close to his chest. Some of your resolve wavering when you felt his fast heartbeat. “I wanted you there so much.” He nodded as he shushed you, his own eyes dropping tears. “I’m so so sorry, baby. I can't even begin to express how deeply I regret the way I acted the whole day, I know you deserve so much more but-” You shifted slightly, knowing all that you wanted right now was comfort, you didn't want to forgive him or minimize the weight of his actions. "I don't know if I can right now," you replied, your voice trembling with the weight of your emotions.

Lewis's eyes brimmed with tears as he whispered, "Please don't shut me out. I can't bear the thought of losing you."

You felt a pang of guilt at the pain evident in his voice. "I just need some time to process everything," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.

"I understand," Lewis replied, his tone filled with sorrow. "But please know that I'm here whenever you're ready to talk."

You nodded, silently acknowledging his words as you allowed yourself to be enveloped in his comforting embrace. 

"I promise to make it up to you," Lewis vowed earnestly, his voice laced with determination. "I'll do whatever it takes to earn back your trust."

"I want to believe you," you admitted quietly, your heart heavy with uncertainty. Everything was a little too raw right now and your emotions were all over the place.

"I'll spend every moment proving it to you," Lewis declared, his eyes locking with yours in a silent vow.

“I was thoughtless and cruel today, and I never should have let those words leave my lips. You are not insecure, you are strong and resilient, baby. You deserve so much better than the hurtful words I spoke. Please know that I can’t lose you, Y/N. I will work tirelessly to regain your trust and rebuild what I have so carelessly shattered. You mean the world to me, and I will spend every moment striving to be worthy of your love.”

Carlos Sainz

As you sat nervously in your childhood home, the familiar sights and sounds providing little comfort, your mind raced with thoughts of disappointment and hurt.

For the third time, Carlos had failed to join you in meeting your parents, leaving you to face their questioning looks and unspoken concerns alone. You had rehearsed what you would say to them, how you would explain his absence, but each time, the words caught in your throat, choked by a mixture of frustration and sadness. For the past few days since you walked out of your apartment, you had been ignoring Carlos’ attempts to reconcile with you. The calls and texts he spammed you with were ignored and curses left your mouth as soon as your mind went back to the day of the argument, bringing unwanted tears to your eyes.

In the passing, you saw a Ferrari conference being conducted and as much as you wanted to reach out and talk it out with him, your heart did flips that you were sure you should have visited a doctor for.

Your parents, ever perceptive, noticed your unease as you fidgeted with the napkin in your lap, casting worried glances in your direction. You tried to muster a reassuring smile, but it faltered, betraying the turmoil within you.

How could you explain to them that the man you loved couldn't find the time to meet them, despite his promises and assurances? "What's wrong, sweetie?" your mom asked, concern evident in her voice.

You sighed, hesitating for a moment before replying, "It's Carlos... He like…"

Your dad's brow furrowed. "Is everything okay?"

You tried to muster a reassuring smile. "Yeah, he said that he got caught up with work. You know how busy he is with his racing and all..." Your dad’s brows furrowed when you trailed off, about to ask you what exactly you meant but just as you were steeling yourself to broach the subject, the doorbell rang, startling you from your thoughts.

Your heart sank as you realized it was likely a neighbor stopping by to meet you since you don’t visit that often, you stood up to go greet them. But then, to your disbelief, you heard his voice drifting through the door, before you saw your boyfriend standing right behind it. Your head titled in confusion and you drew a breath that took most of the stress from the previous days away from your body.

"Sorry I'm late," he said, his tone apologetic yet determined. Carlos took your hand and kissed it lightly,"Traffic was a nightmare." “What about the conference that you-” “You’re the most important person in my life, Y/N.” He cut you off before pulling you in and walking to the dining room that was in his vision. As if that was the answer to your question.

You turned to face him, your eyes wide with surprise and a flicker of hope. There he was, looking slightly disheveled but undeniably earnest, his gaze that locked on yours was as if it was seeking forgiveness. You could see the sincerity in his eyes, the regret etched in the lines of his face.

Your parents exchanged a glance, their expressions softening as they took in the sight of Carlos standing before them. 

Despite their reservations about his repeated absences, they couldn't deny the genuine affection that Carlos held in his eyes when he looked at you.

Before you could find the words to respond, Carlos took a step forward, his hand reaching out tentatively. "I'm really sorry, both of you," he said, addressing your parents directly.

"I know how important this is to you, and I should have made more of an effort to be here on time."

His words hung in the air, a silent acknowledgment of his shortcomings and a pledge to do better. You felt a surge of emotion welling up inside you, a mixture of relief, gratitude, and a glimmer of renewed faith in your relationship. "Well, we're just glad you could make it," your dad said, offering Carlos a handshake.

"Thank you for coming, Carlos," your mother said, her voice warm yet cautious. "We understand that life gets busy, but it's important to make time for the people who matter most."

Carlos nodded, his expression earnest as he met her gaze. "I couldn't agree more. Family means putting in effort, I promise to make it up to all of you."

As you sat down to dinner, the atmosphere was tinged with a sense of reconciliation and hope. Your hand still intertwined with his as you saw him charm your family. Despite the rocky start, Carlos's presence brought a newfound sense of unity and understanding to the table. And as you shared stories and laughter, you couldn't help but feel grateful for the opportunity to mend what had seemed irreparably broken.

In that moment, you realized that love wasn't just about grand gestures or sweeping declarations—it was about the everyday moments of connection and compromise, the willingness to forgive and grow together.

And as you looked at Carlos, his eyes filled with determination and affection, you knew that no matter what challenges lay ahead, you would face them together, hand in hand.

Charles Leclerc

Charles had apologized right after he had said those words and though you had both fallen back into routine, the underlying bitterness and resentment was still present. You weren’t the one initiating any kind of affection from your side and every time Charles was initiating anything, you half assed your way out of it. Was it childish? Probably. But you were still not comfortable with how easily you had forgiven Charles, burying your hurt just to avoid conflict once again despite knowing deep down that he has hurt you probably more than anyone else ever has. These thoughts were running through your head as you sat beside Charles, your heart still heavy with the weight, you couldn't shake the feeling of unease that lingered in the air. Especially because Charles seemed distant, his mind preoccupied with thoughts, that you couldn't help but wonder what exactly they were. Why had he even asked to go on a date today? To break up with you? Suddenly, Pippa appeared, her presence causing the knot to form in your stomach to get tighter. She approached with a confident stride, a charming smile gracing her lips as she greeted Charles with a hug.

"Hey, Charlie!" Pippa exclaimed, her eyes flickering briefly in your direction before returning to Charles. "Long time no see!"

Charles returned her hug, though his embrace seemed somewhat forced. "Hey, Pippa. Yeah, it's been a while." 

You observed their interaction closely, your unease growing with each passing moment. Pippa's presence always seemed to unsettle you, and you couldn't shake the feeling that there was more to their friendship than met the eye. Was he gonna break up with you in public and confess his years long feelings for Pippa? Charles glanced at you, his expression softening as he reached for your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours. "I was just out with Y/N today."

You couldn't help but feel a rush of warmth at his actions, his affectionate gesture soothing some of the tension that had been building between you.

"Nice to meet you, Y/N," Pippa said, offering you a friendly smile. "Sorry I didn’t see you next to Charlie."

You returned her smile, though it didn't quite reach your eyes and managed to reply without gagging. "Nice to meet you, Pippa." Charles tightened his grip on your hand, silently reassuring you of his presence and support. "We were just grabbing a coffee," he explained, his gaze flickering between you and Pippa. "Care to join us?"

Pippa hesitated for a moment, her eyes narrowing slightly as she glanced at you before turning back to Charles. "Actually, I was hoping we could catch up alone, if that's okay."

You felt a pang of anxiety at her words, a sense of foreboding settling in the pit of your stomach. Despite your reservations, you nodded, forcing a smile as you released Charles's hand. It was better to walk away yourself than to have Charles dismiss you.

"Of course," you said, though your voice sounded strained even to your own ears. "I'll wait for you outside."

Charles shot you an alarmed look as you stood up,”I’ll see you in a few.” Charles’ hand lingered on yours for a moment longer before you reluctantly let go and made your way to the door.

You leaned against your car and enjoyed the wind for a second. You couldn’t help but catch a glimpse of the exchange between your boyfriend and his best friend sitting inside.

You were half scared to find them kissing or something but, instead a sense of confusion washed over you as you watched the way Pippa was angrily point a finger at Charles and scream at him.

It was a second later when she stormed out before making her way towards you.

"Is he doing this because of you?!" Pippa's accusatory tone sent a shiver down your spine, her words hitting too close to home.

Before you could even process what was happening, Charles emerged from the cafe, his expression determined as he approached you and Pippa.

"Go home, Pippa," he said firmly, his voice leaving no room for argument as he intertwined his hand with yours.

Pippa's eyes blazed with anger, her fists clenched at her sides as she glared at Charles. "You will regret this, Charles!" she spat before storming off, leaving you both standing there in stunned silence.

Once Pippa was out of sight, you turned to Charles, your heart pounding in your chest. "What was that all about?" you asked, your voice trembling slightly.

Charles sighed, running a hand through his hair as he looked at you with apologetic eyes. "I'm sorry you had to witness that, Y/N. Pippa has been... difficult lately."

You frowned, your mind reeling with confusion and frustration. "Difficult how?"

Charles hesitated for a moment, his gaze searching yours as if trying to find the right words. "She's been pushing boundaries, trying to come between us. But I won't let her." 

"Hey," he continued, taking your hand in his. "I told Pippa that I wouldn't be spending time with her alone anymore. If she can't accept you, then it's better for us to not be friends at all."

You blinked in surprise, a rush of gratitude flooding through you at his words. "Really?"

Charles nodded, squeezing your hand gently. "Really. You're the most important person in my life, and I won't let anyone come between us."

Tears welled up in your eyes as you wrapped your arms around him, holding him close. "Thank you, Charles. I appreciate you standing up for us."

He smiled softly, squeezing your hand reassuringly. "I'll always stand up for us, Y/N. You mean everything to me."

Tears welled up in your eyes as you threw your arms around him, holding him close. Despite the lingering bitterness and resentment, you couldn't deny the overwhelming love you felt for him in that moment.

Lando Norris

As you stepped out of the taxi, the cool night air enveloped you, offering a moment of respite from the whirlwind of emotions that had engulfed you throughout the evening.

Your heart still felt heavy with the weight of Lando's hurtful words, but beneath the pain, a numbness resided- knowing deep down that you might���ve just broken up with your boyfriend.

Before you could take another step, you heard the sound of hurried footsteps approaching from behind. Turning around, you saw Lando rushing towards you, his eyes filled with remorse and his expression wrought with sorrow. Your hand instinctively went to your chest, trying to calm the rapid beating of your heart.

"Y/N, please wait," he called out, his voice pleading as he reached your side, breathless from his haste.

You pulled your face to meet his eyes, uncertainty and wariness etched into your features as you met his gaze. Part of you yearned to turn away, to shield yourself from the pain of his words, but another part couldn't help but hope that maybe, just maybe, he was sincere in his apology.

"Lando," you said softly, your voice tinged with a mixture of hurt and apprehension. You wanted to say more but the damn ball in your throat stopped you doing so.

He took a deep breath, his eyes never leaving yours as he searched for the right words to express the depth of his regret. "I know I messed up, Y/N. I hurt you, and I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am for that."

His words washed over you like a soothing balm, offering a sliver of comfort. But still, you couldn't bring yourself to let go of the hurt that lingered in your heart.

"I should have been there for you tonight, supporting you and showing you how much you mean to me," Lando continued, his voice filled with genuine remorse. "Instead, I let my own selfishness and insecurities get in the way, and for that, I am truly sorry."

Tears welled up in your eyes as you listened to him, the sincerity in his voice echoing the ache in your own heart. You were sure you’ll regret letting go of this amazing relationship without at least attempting to work on it.

Despite the pain he had caused you, you couldn't help but feel a glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, there was still a chance to rebuild what had been broken.

"I don't expect you to forgive me right away, Y/N," Lando said softly, his hands shaking and showcasing the intensity of his vulnerability.

"I know I have a lot of work to do to earn back your trust and your love. But please, just give me a chance to make things right. I promise to do whatever it takes to show you how much you mean to me, every single day for the rest of my life."

His words hung in the air, heavy with sincerity and remorse, leaving you torn between the desire to hold onto the pain of the past and the hope for a brighter future. As you gazed into his eyes, searching for any hint of insincerity or deceit, all you found was raw honesty and unwavering devotion.

With a heavy heart and a flicker of hope, you reached out to take his hand, intertwining your fingers with his. "I don't know if I'm ready to forgive you just yet, Lando," you whispered, your voice trembling with uncertainty.

Lando takes a step closer, gently cupping your face in his hands. "I'll spend every moment proving I'm worthy of your love, Y/N. Let me show you how much you mean to me, starting from this moment. I'll do whatever it takes to earn back your trust, even if it means giving you the space you need. Just know that I'm here for you, whenever you're ready."

( writing masterlist \ main masterlist \ drop a request ) ©maxtermind // do not copy, rewrite or translate any of my work on any platforms.

[skywalker1dream]

Title: Love, Laughter, and Appendicitis

carlos sainz x reader

note: is 4:30am and i cant sleep so i was like why not write something and here it is...hope you like it, hope you are having a good day or night, dont forget to drink water and eat healthy...:)

Warnings: Fluff, Mention of Medical Procedures, Mild Language. thats it, i think?

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You sit in the stiff, uncomfortable chair beside Carlos' hospital bed, fingers entwined with his. The sterile smell of antiseptic fills the air, mingling with the faint scent of the flowers you'd brought earlier in the day. The rhythmic beeping of the heart monitor is a constant reminder of where you are and why you're here.

Carlos had been rushed to the hospital with a sudden bout of appendicitis. The surgery had gone smoothly, but the waiting had been torture. Now, as he lay recovering, his handsome face was relaxed in sleep, the worst of your worries were behind you. But you couldn’t help the anxiety that lingered, your eyes tracing the lines of his face, searching for any sign of discomfort.

Carlos Sr., his father, sits on the other side of the bed, a comforting presence in the otherwise clinical room. He’s been through this before, his calm demeanor a stark contrast to your still-frayed nerves.

Carlos stirs, his eyes fluttering open. You lean forward, your heart leaping as he wakes. His brown eyes are glazed, a side effect of the pain medication, but they light up when they find yours.

“Mi amor,” he slurs, a lazy smile spreading across his lips. “Did you bring the giraffes?”

You blink in confusion, glancing at Carlos Sr., who chuckles softly, his eyes twinkling with amusement. “Giraffes, Carlos?” you ask gently, brushing a strand of hair from his forehead.

“Sí, giraffes,” he insists, trying to nod but wincing slightly. “I wanted to ride one. In the… in the… where are we?”

“We’re in the hospital, love,” you say softly, squeezing his hand. “You had surgery, remember?”

He frowns, then his face lights up again. “Oh! The appendicit… appendici-thingy. I remember. It’s gone now, right?”

“Yes, it’s gone,” you reassure him, biting back a smile. “You’re going to be just fine.”

Carlos Sr. shakes his head, laughing quietly. “He’s never been good with pain meds,” he says, his voice filled with affection.

Carlos looks over at his father, his expression suddenly serious. “Papá, you promised to get me a hot air balloon. We need to go to… the moon.”

You can’t help but giggle at the absurdity of it all. Despite your worry, Carlos' delirious ramblings are endearing, his usual composed demeanor replaced with childlike wonder.

“We’ll get you that hot air balloon,” his father promises, playing along. “Just rest for now.”

Carlos seems satisfied with this answer, his eyes drifting closed again. But just as you think he’s fallen asleep, he squeezes your hand, looking up at you with a lopsided grin. “You’re so pretty, did you know that? Like a… a… pretty butterfly. No, wait… prettier.”

Your heart melts, and you press a kiss to his forehead. “Thank you, my love.”

He blinked slowly, his eyes focusing on you with some difficulty. "Hey, cariño," he slurred, his voice dreamy. "Did you know… you have the prettiest eyes? Like... two big... beautiful... stars."

You couldn't help but smile at his words, despite the situation. The anesthesia and pain meds were clearly affecting him. "Thank you, love," you said softly, brushing a strand of hair off his forehead.

Carlos Sr. chuckled from the other side of the bed. "He's going to be talking nonsense for a while. Don't worry, it's normal."

You nodded, but you couldn't stop the bubble of laughter that escaped your lips when Carlos continued. "And... and did you see the... the purple elephants? They were... they were dancing! So funny."

"Purple elephants?" you asked, your amusement growing. "I must have missed them."

Carlos laughed, a sound that was both loopy and endearing. "Yeah, they were... they were here. But they said... 'Carlos, you need to... to rest.' And I said... 'Okay, but only if... if my beautiful wife can stay.'"

Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes, a mix of relief and overwhelming love. "I'm right here, Carlos. I'm not going anywhere."

He sighed contentedly, squeezing your hand with surprising strength. "Good... 'cause... 'cause I love you so much. Did I tell you that today?"

Carlos Sr. shook his head, his shoulders shaking with silent laughter. "I think you have, but it's always nice to hear," he said, clearly enjoying the show.

You leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss to Carlos's forehead. "I love you too, Carlos. So, so much."

He beamed up at you, his eyes drifting shut again. "Good... 'cause... you're stuck with me... forever."

"As long as you don't go chasing any more purple elephants," you teased, feeling the tension in your chest finally start to ease.

few minutes later:

Carlos blinked slowly, his expression earnest despite his haze. "No, really," he insisted, his words tumbling out in a jumbled mess. "You’re like... like a goddess. My goddess. And we’re married. Did you know we’re married?"

Your worry melted away as you watched him, replaced by a warm, affectionate amusement. "Yes, Carlos, I know we’re married."

He nodded, as if this was the most profound revelation. "Good, good. Because I love you. So much. More than… more than racing."

His father laughed again, clearly enjoying his son's delirious state. "That's a bold statement coming from you, Carlos."

Carlos turned his head towards his father, his brow furrowing in confusion. "Papa? You’re here too? Are we having a party?"

You bit your lip to keep from laughing, a mix of relief and endearment washing over you. "No party, love. Just making sure you're okay."

Carlos's eyes grew wide, and he tried to sit up, only to be gently pushed back down by you. "Easy there, don’t hurt yourself."

He pouted slightly, a comical sight on his usually composed face. "I wanted to dance with you. Can we dance later?"

You nodded, brushing a stray lock of hair from his forehead. "Yes, we can dance later. When you’re feeling better."

Carlos sighed contentedly, his eyes drifting shut again. "Okay. I like dancing with you. And kissing you. Lots of kisses."

Carlos Sr. patted his son’s leg affectionately. "Rest, Carlos. You can do all the dancing and kissing you want once you’re better."

You watched as Carlos's breathing evened out, a serene look settling on his face. He sighs contentedly, his grip on your hand loosening as he finally drifts into a peaceful sleep. You sit back in your chair, feeling a wave of relief wash over you. Despite the unexpected twist in your day, Carlos’ silly, medicated declarations have put you at ease.

Carlos Sr. stands, stretching. “I’ll get us some coffee,” he says, patting your shoulder. “You’re doing great.”

“Thanks,” you say, smiling up at him. “And thank you for being here.”

He nods, giving you a reassuring smile before leaving the room. Alone with Carlos, you watch his chest rise and fall with each steady breath, your heart swelling with love for this incredible man.

Despite the chaos, the worry, and the gibberish about giraffes and hot air balloons, you wouldn’t trade this moment for anything. This is your life with Carlos, unpredictable, sometimes ridiculous, but always filled with love.

As Carlos sleeps, you allow yourself to relax a bit more, sinking back into the chair and letting the tension drain from your body. His peaceful expression reassures you, reminding you of all the wonderful moments you've shared and the many more you will create together.

A nurse comes in quietly to check on Carlos, her presence a gentle reminder of where you are. She smiles at you kindly, her movements efficient and unobtrusive.

"He’s doing well," she whispers after checking his vitals. "The meds will keep him a bit loopy for a while, but he’s on the mend."

You nod, grateful for her reassurance. “Thank you.”

Once she leaves, you return your attention to Carlos. His hair is slightly mussed, his lips still curled in that adorable, lopsided grin. You can’t help but reach out and run your fingers through his hair, your touch light and tender.

Carlos stirs again, blinking slowly as he regains consciousness. His eyes focus on you, and he smiles sleepily. “Hey, beautiful,” he murmurs, his voice rough with sleep. “Did we get to the moon yet?”

You laugh softly, shaking your head. “Not yet, my love. But soon, I promise.”

He chuckles, the sound warm and comforting. “Good. I need to plant a flag there. A big one, with our faces on it.”

“That sounds perfect,” you say, leaning in to kiss his cheek. “We’ll do that.”

Carlos Sr. returns with two cups of coffee, handing one to you before taking his seat again. “How’s our astronaut doing?” he asks, amusement twinkling in his eyes.

“He’s planning our next adventure,” you reply, sharing a smile with him. “We’re going to the moon.”

“Of course you are,” Carlos Sr. says, laughing. “He’s always been a dreamer.”

Carlos, still half-asleep, mumbles something unintelligible, and both you and his father chuckle softly. You take a sip of your coffee, the warmth and bitterness grounding you, reminding you that you’re not alone in this.

------------

The day passes slowly, the minutes ticking by with a strange blend of anxiety and calm. Nurses come and go, checking on Carlos and making sure he’s comfortable. Each time he wakes, he has something new and ridiculous to say, each statement more endearing than the last.

As evening falls, Carlos finally starts to become more coherent. His eyes clear, and his grip on your hand tightens. “Hey,” he says softly, his voice more steady now. “How long was I out?”

“Most of the day,” you say, brushing your thumb over the back of his hand. “You needed the rest.”

He sighs, nodding slowly. “I feel like I’ve been talking nonsense.”

“You have,” his father says with a grin. “But it’s been entertaining.”

Carlos groans, a blush creeping up his cheeks. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” you say quickly, squeezing his hand. “It’s been kind of cute, actually.”

“Cute?” he repeats, raising an eyebrow. “I’m glad you think so.”

You lean in, kissing him softly. “I’m just glad you’re okay.”

He smiles against your lips, his free hand coming up to cup your cheek. “I am, thanks to you. I love you.”

“I love you too,” you whisper, feeling your heart swell with emotion.

Carlos Sr. stands, stretching. “I’ll give you two some privacy,” he says with a knowing smile. “But don’t stay up too late. You both need your rest.”

“Thanks, papa,” Carlos says, his voice warm with gratitude.

As his father leaves the room, you settle into the chair beside Carlos, holding his hand and basking in the quiet intimacy of the moment. Despite the day’s chaos, you feel an overwhelming sense of peace. Carlos is here, safe and on the road to recovery, and that’s all that matters.

“Ready for that hot air balloon ride to the moon?” you tease, resting your head on the edge of his bed.

He chuckles, his eyes twinkling with amusement. “As long as you’re with me, I’m ready for anything.”

And in that moment, you know that no matter where life takes you, as long as you have Carlos by your side, everything will be just fine.

[theemporium]

maybe some more 🧸for Carlos and Butterfly and their second baby including Lando and toddler Esmerelda? Just wee innocence?

thank you for requesting!🫶🏽

.

“Esme, no running!” 

A series of giggles could be heard along with soft pattering of footsteps on the wooden floorboards. 

“Lando, also no running!” 

“Boo!” 

You pressed your lips together, trying to bite back the grin that wanted to spread across your face as you walked into the kitchen. It was barely ten in the morning and the house already felt lively with the happy sounds of a two year old Esmerelda being chased around by Lando, who had been visiting for a week over the holidays, and Carlos settled in the kitchen as he prepared everyone’s breakfast. 

Your heart warmed at the sight, knowing Carlos had probably been doing his best to keep the volume low so you would be able to lie in this morning. But you didn’t care. In fact, you would take a happy and lively house over some sleep any day of the week. It made you feel full and complete. 

“Ah, mi tigre, you want a strawberry? Hm? They are Mama’s strawberries but I am sure she won’t mind sharing with you,” Carlos cooed at the small baby in his arms, just over seven months old and already looking like a carbon copy of his father. 

Little Rafael Sainz garbled happily as his chubby fingers reached for the small strawberry chunk Carlos was holding out to him.

“I guess I can share my strawberries with a little guy as cute as him,” you commented casually, leaning against the doorframe. 

Carlos whirled around, his face instantly lighting up when he saw you. In an instant, he was walking across the kitchen so he could reach out for you with the arm that wasn’t currently coddling Rafael to his chest. 

“Mi mariposa,” Carlos hummed as he leaned down, pressing his lips against yours for a few seconds before pulling back. “Did we wake you up?” 

You smiled, shaking your head. “You should have woken me up, though. I could have helped with breakfast.”

“Papa doesn’t need help!” A voice suddenly exclaimed as Esmerelda came to a stop by your legs, looking up with a tooth grin. “Uncle Dodo is helping.”

“Still don’t know how I feel about being nicknamed after a dead bird,” Lando grumbled as he came up to stand behind Esmerelda, his hands on her shoulders as she snickered at him. 

“I think it’s cute,” you said to him with a soft smile.

“You’re too nice to say otherwise,” Lando snorted in response. 

“Yes, well, your Uncle Dodo could have done more to help me,” Carlos commented, flashing the Brit a look. 

Lando only grinned innocently in response. “I was doing my duties.”

Carlos raised his brows. “Which are?” 

“Babysitting my favourite godchildren,” Lando answered easily before he reached for the baby in Carlos’ arms, cooing as Rafael’s hands instantly stretched out to reach for his curls. “There’s my favourite little guy.”

Esmerelda rolled her eyes. 

“Aye, don’t be like that, mi oruga,” Carlos mused as he reached down, not even hesitating as he swiped his daughter into his arms and listened to her giggles echo through the kitchen. “Papa will always be here to lift you.”

She blinked up at him, her eyes holding all the adoration for her father. “What about when I get too big?” 

“Your father is very strong,” you said to her, pushing some curls behind her ear and lightly tickling her neck as she squirmed in Carlos’ arms. “He will always be able to carry you.” 

She smiled up at Carlos. “Really?”

“Really,” Lando answered for her. “Your dad can pick me up.”

Carlos sighed. “When will you stop bringing that up?”

“What, so Uncle Dodo can’t feel like a princess sometimes too?” Lando scoffed as little Rafael garbled happily in his arms like he understood the Brit. “Inequality in this household!”

.

[leclerced]

I CANT TAKE LANDO ANGST SO HERE IS MY HAPPY ENDING.

Bunny ends up ending things with Oscar and max because since Lando left she just feels like a piece of her is missing and she feels like it’s unfair to them that she can’t love them how they deserve.

So flash forward a few years, let’s say bunny is on a trip by herself just to get some alone time and let’s say it’s Spain. She’s eating her lunch when she hears a very familiar and unique laugh and as she looks up hey eyes find Lando walking in with Carlos.

He’s tan and his smile is bright and as their eyes meet Lando stop dead in his tracks and bunny’s hand that was hold her fork stills. They hold eye contact for a while until Carlos coughs with a smirk and goes to say hello to her.

Somehow some way they end up at bunnies table and end up sharing one to many bottles of wine and as Carlos calls it a night bunny and Lando end up staying till close where he walks her to her hotel and she invites him up(blamed it on the wine) but they don’t sleep together or anything, just cuddle and talk.

canonically she is the sun and he is the moon, they’re a matching set. they’ll never break up, lando will never leave and she will only have one extra bf if anything. could be max or oscar i haven’t decided who. oscar makes more sense.

but i like this a lot i can def see it happening and i think lando would find out and blame himself for that too, thinking maybe if he hadn’t had left all those years or months ago maybe the four of them could have found a way to work things out.

i love them talking like, all night and the conversations stay honest as they sober up, the courage from the alcohol goes away but they’re just as comfortable with each other as they always have been. i think bunny tells him after leaving max and oscar she only dated one guy before giving up when it failed, but that was like a year or two before. lando doesn’t know it she still feels the same way about him as he does her, even after all these years. once they’ve both updated each other on the last few years of their lives, i think she would suddenly tell him she wishes they weren’t even having this conversation and he asks what she means, trying not to sound heartbroken, and she tells him she wishes he never left, that he had lived every day of it with her so they wouldn’t have to play catch up. she’d tell him she lost her best friend more than anything that day and she’d do anything to have him back. then they would kind of talk about him leaving, and her leaving max and oscar, the only things they hadn’t really talked about in the hours since they cuddled up in her hotel room. i don’t think they’d just like say they’re still in love and get back together, i think there would still be a lot left unsaid but they would at least communicate and figure out if it’s even a good idea to like move forward as friends or anything more, if that’s something they both want. they’re both worried the other person has moved on or is too hurt to have the other back in their life and they’re both too scared to tell the other how they feel right off the bat.

after they agree to try being friends first, it’s like the beginning where they just hang out and don’t do anything for months, just enjoy each other’s company bc they’ve missed it. just for drama, one day goes to tell lando she’s not over him and she doesn’t want to just be friends, but sees a woman getting out of a car in his driveway and drives past his place. lo n behold carlos was there too and it was just his girlfriend getting her lipgloss out of the cup holder, but bunny thinks lando moved on and resigns herself to the rank of friend if that’s all she can get. then when they’re having their weekly hang out, he asks her if she’ll go on a date and she mentions the shiny red car and pretty woman climbing out of it, and lando’s immediately like, “you mean the one with the sainz license plate? that’s his new girlfriend. did you happen to notice she kinda looks like you? i thought that was funny.” and it’s like everything clicks together in that one moment, she gets all excited and is like yes lets go on a date Right now!!! and they’re in their pajamas but she doesn’t care she wants to be with him!! so they go to a cute diner in their pjs and lando pulls up a list of first date questions to ask each other and they play stupid games like that until the staff starts cleaning up for closing and lando tips an absurd amount to apologize for losing track of time but time doesn’t exist when they’re together, it’s just them.

[lovingperfectionsblog]

All We'll Ever Be - Part 2

Request: Yes

hi could i request something where the girl is an f1 driver and she has a platonic relationship w the boys. she's from a costal caribbean island and she invites them to her home to spend like a week with her and some of her hometown friends and it's like laughter all around and like doing silly little beach stuff and like carlos starts to see the girl in another light when they're on the beach and the other drivers start to notice and tease him abt it and like very cutesy like sunset vibes all around lol

A Part two was requested.

Carlos Sainz Jr x Reader

Summary: Carlos Sainz discovering all him and the woman he loves will ever be.

Warning: Swearing, fluff, making out, mentions of sex.

Word Count: 2312 words

Authors note: So here is the requested part 2 of this story and there is a significantly happier ending to this one :D I hope you all enjoy and I can't wait to hear what you think :)

All We'll Ever Be (Part 1)

_____

“Knock knock” you gently rapped on the bedroom door of Carlos and Lando, only popping your head round the door after hearing Carlos say you could open the door, “sorry, I just need to get some pyjamas, can’t exactly sleep how I normally do being on the couch” you offered up explanation for your intrusion of his makeshift bedroom.

Carlos wanted to respond, but found himself unable, absolutely blindsided by the thoughts of how you normally went to bed, his mind coming up with much more scandalous scenarios than he should be thinking of when picturing his best friend.

Or should he be calling you the woman he loves, since that’s probably more accurate now.

He couldn’t decide if he was happy or upset at the realisation of how he felt about you, but he could at least reason now that he knew, he could get over you, because there was no way he would be stuck loving his best friend forever, right?

Finally, pulling himself out of the thoughts of you, he motioned for you to come in, putting his phone down and slightly shifting himself up into a more seated position as you slipped into the room and closing the door behind you, secretly hoping to get some much needed one on one time with the man you loved.

You really should be calling him your best friend, but since you realised how you felt about him, ‘the man you loved’ was all you could bring yourself to call him.

You had so hoped the realisation of how you felt about him would aid you in getting over him, but then you’d see him again and he’d make you laugh and then you knew that you were probably destined to live with the curse of loving your best friend forever.

“How come you’re hiding out in here? I feel like I haven’t seen you all holiday and you’re only here for two more days” you began, trying to keep the tone of the conversation light while digging through your wardrobe for something to sleep in. It would be wrong to pick something too revealing right? No, you can’t do that. Standard strappy top and sleep shorts, nothing attractive, this is our best friend remember.

But here he was, shirtless, in this heat and this was just cruel of him.

Jesus Y/n, stop objectifying your best friend.

‘Well truthfully, I really am trying to avoid you because the more I spend time with you the more I realise how in love with you I am and I’m not sure how long I can keep it to myself and I really don’t want to ruin the friendship but you are making it very, very difficult to keep my cool, especially if you’re going to be wearing that strappy top and tiny shorts to sleep in’ is what Carlos wanted to say.

But instead, he settled with a half-truth, “I just needed some time away from the boys, they can be a handful”.

“Oh, did you want me to go” you suddenly felt like you had intruded, beginning to move to the door.

“No, you I could never get tired of” Carlos scolded himself for being slightly too forward but seeing the blush creep up on your cheeks might have been worth the risk completely.

“Oh, well, in that case” and next minute you were jumping on the bed, ready to soak up some quality time with the Spaniard, “speaking of the boys, where are they?”

 “I honestly don’t even want to think about it” Carlos dipped his head back, chiding himself for what he was about to offer, “do you want me to step out so you can get changed? That way you can be comfortable too.” Too ballsy, shouldn’t have said that.

“Oh shame, I think it should be fine if you just close your eyes” holy shit, there was no way you just suggested getting changed in front of him.

“Yeah, I mean, only if you’re comfortable with it” and with that he immediately closed his eyes, praying he didn’t get a boner.

He felt the bed move as you climbed off, suddenly his hearing increasing ten-fold as he heard the tell-tale sound of you removing your shirt and pants, and holy shit were you standing here in the same room as him wearing nothing but your underwear?

No Carlos. This isn’t right. Sing your national anthem. Count to 10 in every language you know. Shit, how does your national anthem go? Anything to not think about how badly he wanted to hear you taking those shorts off again.

“Done” your voice chimed through his thoughts and he felt the bed dipping next to him as you climbed back on and good god you might as well still be wearing nothing but your underwear. How were you this beautiful.  

An awkward tenson filled the room as you lay next to each other, suddenly both of you feeling all too hot and pretty sure every single topic of conversation you had ever known was out the window of your little brains.

“Oh!” you startled Carlos with the sudden break of silence, him doing everything physically possible to avoid looking at you, “what was that shitty movie Lando watched again? Do you maybe want to put it on and we can laugh at how embarrassing the characters are?” you began grabbing your laptop that you kept next to your bed.

“Oh, I, uh, don’t remember the name, just that these two are best friends and they guy is in love with the girl and she doesn’t feel the same so he just settles with being her friend” he gave a brief description of his current and exact situation, feeling like it was the exact movie you two would watch and laugh at the characters for making such poor choices and just being all round too embarrassing.

“What a fucking coward” you were a hypocrite because this was exactly what you were doing. You were a fucking coward.

Maybe you should just tell him.

Rip the band aid off and get it done and live with the consequences of never being his friend again but at least that way you wouldn’t be lying to him anymore and maybe you’d actually be able to finally get over him.

“Listen, where are they?”

“I don’t know but while they are gone we need to discuss this quickly”

“Guess we found the boys” you and Carlos laughed as you heard them through the wall, curious as to what they so desperately needed to discuss quickly.

“Okay, so we all agree something needs to be done about this?”

“Obviously, he’s literally avoiding her”

‘Are they talking about Carlos? Why was he avoiding you?’ confusion spread across your face.

‘Oh god. Oh no, they were about to ruin fucking everything’ Carlos froze, knowing exactly what this conversation was about and they had no idea you both could hear them.

“Maybe we should give them their privacy” Carlos was not above begging in order to get himself out of this situation.

“No, I think I wanna hear what they have to say” you whispered, hoping they wouldn’t be able to hear you.

“But he is right you know; we can���t just force him to tell her how he feels about her”

“Do you honestly think she doesn’t feel the same?”

“They are literally pathetic”

“Maybe we should try the whole rom-com, everyone can see that the two characters are in love except them chat with her”

“Lando, has this been the only idea you have ever come up because I kind of feel like you keep circling back to it”

“Even Carlos used it on her!”

“Shhhhhhh! We don’t want them to hear you tit”

“But maybe it isn’t a bad idea, changing tactics and getting her to confess how she feels instead”

“Since Carlos is a fucking coward”

‘Wait, are they talking about y/n? And how she feels about me?’ it was Carlos’s turn to be confused.

‘Oh my fucking god. How did they know?’ and now it was your turn to be mortified.

“You’re right, maybe we should give them their privacy” the begging tone Carlos had previously spored now mimicked in your own voice.

“No, now I think I wanna stay and hear what they have to say” Carlos leaned in closer to wall, not wanting to miss a single word, because if it was true, then he was going for it, tonight.

“Okay, so we try her then, we only have two days to get either of them to confess”

“Before I just do it fucking for them”

“Okay, but what is the plan to get her to tell him then?”

“I would like to take us back to the rom-com idea”

“Oh my god, shut the fuck up”

The length of silence would almost be comical if they weren’t exposing you and Carlos’s deepest secrets.

“Okay, so we’re doing the rom-com idea”

“Yessssss”

“Whose going to talk to her”

“I’ll do it”

“No Daniel, you’ll just end up flirting with her”

“Max you’re out of the question”

“What’s wrong with me?”

Another beat of silence as you assume Max was receiving the most obvious stares they boys could muster.

“Okay, yes fine, not me.”

“I could do it”

“Pierre isn’t a bad choice”

“Yeah, you’re all romantic and shit and she could cry on your shoulder and what not when she finally admits that she’s just as in love with him as he is with her”

He’s in love with me?

She’s in love with me?

“So my walls are really thin” you whispered out, blocking out the conversation happening in the room over.

“They are really thin” neither of you wanting to start this conversation first, knowing it was about to change everything.

Now it was your guys turn for awkward silence to fill the air. Neither of you quite sure what to do, the truth feeling thicker hanging in the air than your secrets ever did.

“If I kissed you right now, is that something you would want?” Carlos asked, eyes straight ahead, not looking at you once, too scared of what he might see, and too scared he might not be able to control himself if he did.

“It would be something I wanted” your actions copied his own, never looking at him.

“Okay, and if I said you were the last woman I ever wanted to kiss again?” Carlos snuck a look at you, watching the small smile creeping up on your face.

“I’d say I want you to be the last man I ever kiss again” watching as a smile spread across his own face.

“1. 2. 3” and with that Carlos place a hand on the nape of your neck and kissed you gently, feeling your own hands come into contact with his own body, one curling around his own neck and the other landing on his chest.

And there it was again.

The calm.

Finally you each pulled away, thankful for your eavesdropping and nosy friends.

And in the silence your confessions were loud.

I love you.

I love you.

I have always loved you.

I will always love you.

Next minute, Carlos was pulling you back into him, kissing you with significantly more vigour, you deepening the kiss yourself, pulling yourself closer and closer into him, wanting to feel him against you fully. Finally.

And with that Carlos’s hand wrapped around your waist and pulled you onto him fully, so you are sitting on his lap. Never breaking the kiss you two were finally sharing. The one you had both been waiting for.

This unfortunately had allowed neither of you to hear the rest of the boys ending their own conversation and heading to their separate rooms, and you had definitely missed the bedroom door opening, too lost in each other.

“What the fuck!” that you didn’t miss though.

You spun around to a wide eyed Lando, all three of you shocked into silence.

“I’m going to need you to take the couch tonight Lando” was all Carlos could think to say, accompanied by a cheeky grin.

“What’s going on?” you heard Max shout.

“Everything all right mate?” Charles own concerned voice filtered through the wall as well.

“THEY”RE FUCKING” Lando shouted at the top of his lungs.

“Oh my god! We are not fucking!” Carlos was quick to correct him and put all the other boys at ease.

“Walls are too thin for that sugs” you threw a wink at Lando, who was quick to run out of the room, but not before throwing you both a thumbs up, genuinely happy that you had both finally made a move, as much as it may have scarred him.

“So, where were we?” Carlos was already guiding your lips back to his.

“I think you were telling me about that really shitty rom-com” you giggled against his lips.

“And all you’ll ever be is two people in love for the rest of eternity, we’re all so happy for you, but please, we really don’t want to hear you two actually getting on” Max being the only one brave enough to request for a decent nights sleep.

“We love PG-13 Rom-com” Pierre shouted.

“Except Daniel, who doesn’t mind a little action, but only if it’s from Max” Charles added on, creating a house full of laughs, only growing louder when you all heard a distinct sound of someone landing on the floor and an “ouch” from Max.

“Good night and love you all” you finally shouted once the laughter had died down, receiving a chorus of goodnights and I love you’s back.

“And I love you” Carlos whispered into your ear, “and this is all I will ever be, in love with you”

“All we’ll ever be” you corrected him.

Tags:

@rmaddenns @internetgremlin @champagne-coys

[cirrus-lily]

morning light - l. norris

author : @cirrus-lily

pairing : lando norris x fem!reader

other character(s) : the briefest mentions of george russell, alexander albon and carlos sainz jr.

genre : fluff ; angst ; one-shot

fandom : formula one - motorsport

warning(s) : mentions of road accident ; set mostly in hospital ; descriptions of patient in medically-induced coma

word count : 1.47k

summary : there is nothing like the feeling of waking up in the morning after thinking you wouldn't make it through the night.

a/n : this one is Big Sad oh well...but it’s really nice and i’m lowkey so proud of this :)

"lando, i'm driving over to your place now, i can't wait to see you again."

"alright love, drive safe."

—

"mr norris, we are sorry to inform you that your girlfriend, y/n y/l/n, has been involved in a road accident and is on her way to the hospital now. you'll be allowed to see her at the hospital after some checks."

"i'll be there as fast as i can."

—

"you're awake."

"i am."

"i thought i would never see you again love, don't scare me like that ever again."

"you won't get rid of me so easily, lando norris."

—

"because of the impact of the accident, she needs to go for a surgery in order to walk again. the surgery has a 50% chance of success, but if you decide to do it, we'll try our hardest to make it work."

"i'll do it."

—

"mr norris, due to some complications from the crash and the surgery, ms y/l/n has been placed in a medically-induced coma. we are unsure of when she will wake up."

—

DAY 1 - LANDO

this sucks. it's messed up. it's all my fault.

it would be so different, if i did all the things i should've.

i should've driven over to her place.

i should've told her not to do the surgery.

i should've done more, to take away her pain, to put her out of her misery.

she'd be awake next to me, at my place, watching netflix and laughing over dumb things and talking about the future and-

"y/n love, if you can hear me, wake up. i can't lose you, not now, not ever."

UGH why is it all so hard?

why her?

why not me?

—

DAY 2 - Y/N

it sucks. i want this to end. i want to wake up.

it hurts to know that lando is hurting.

i wish i could tell him that i can hear him, every word that leaves his lips.

i wish i could squeeze his hand that's in mine, to tell him i'm right here next to him.

lando norris, i'm right here, don't you worry. you can't get rid of me that easily.

why did my body react like that to the surgery?

why couldn't the surgery just be successful?

why did i do it even though i had a bad feeling about it?

why was i so stupid?

i think that, not knowing if i'll make it through the night.

—

DAY 3 - LANDO

it's been three days without her, but it feels like three months. i just want it to end.

george, alex and carlos came over today to check on me, to make sure i was coping okay (i'm not).

george said something about how people in comas can hear and feel, even if they don't respond.

he told me to keep talking to her because it'd (hopefully) help her to wake up sooner.

i know i can't stay here forever. i got lucky because it's the winter break.

but at some point i have to face the rest of the world. i have to go back to the factory.

i have to drive a car.

"love, wake up. i need you to be with me until the end of time. i need to hear your voice again, see you smile again. i need you, i love you. wake up, please."

the day will come that i'll need to leave her in this room, away from me.

but i don't want that day to come.

—

DAY 7 - Y/N

i don't even know how long it's been. that's what happens when you don't see the sun rise and set.

whether it's been a week, month, or year, lando's been here the whole time. i sure as hell hope it hasn't been a year, because i wouldn't want him to stop driving because of me.

i'm starting to go stir-crazy. i've not moved in too long, haven't spoken in too long.

i've tried talking, moving. knowing that lando is there, mum and dad are there, my friends are there, all hurting, hurts me.

i wish i could give them a sign, to tell them it's going to be fine.

guys, i'm okay, i'm right here, it's going to be alright, trust me.

i say that, not knowing if i'll ever see the light of day again.

—

DAY 10 - LANDO

ten days, and counting.

doctors say that her condition is stable, although there is no indication on whether she will wake up.

apparently, no memory loss will be a miracle.

if she doesn't, i might just go crazy.

i hope she doesn't forget who i am.

i hope when she wakes up, she'll remember every moment we've shared.

"love, please remember me when you get up. i don't think i could live without you knowing all the times we've shared. i'll always remember you, always."

her parents keep telling me to go home and wash up, get changed.

but i don't want to leave her side.

i don't want to miss the moment she squeezes my hand.

i don't want to miss the moment she wakes up.

—

DAY 15 - Y/N

fifteen days, i heard the doctor say.

well, that explains why i'm about to go crazy.

i've been using the number of sleeps to count the number of days, but obviously i've been inaccurate.

it doesn't help that every time i fall asleep, i don't know if i'll ever get up again - it's why i hate falling asleep. not knowing if you'll ever see the day again sets a kind of fear and paranoia in you.

i'm not ready to go. i've got so much life left to live.

lando, i'm awake, wake me up. i know who you are, i'll be by your side to the end of time.

i say that, not knowing if i'll ever get to see his face again.

—

DAY 17 - LANDO

the heartbeat monitor keeps me sane now. every beep telling me that she's still alive. it gives me the truth, not like the predictions the doctors make, which sound like empty promises.

i keep talking to her, telling her how everyone's been. how i've been trying to cope. how much i need her and that i love her.

the mclaren crew popped by to pay me a visit yesterday. when they saw her, they looked absolutely crushed - she belonged to the mclaren family as much as i did.

everyone thinks i'm going mad.

they're not wrong.

zak and andreas have told me to take my time - which i'm grateful for, but it isn't going to change the present.

i don't know how much longer i can go on without her.

if i ever have to face a day without her, i might as well not face it at all.

"wake up, please. i don't think i can go on much longer without you. i need you. i love you, y/n, until the end of time."

—

DAY 20 - Y/N

as i wake up from my sleep, my eyes open along with me. i see the blinding lights and flinch, before adjusting to my surroundings.

i can turn my head. i can see the trees outside my window. and there is lando, perched on his chair next to me, my hand in his.

there is nothing like the feeling of waking up in the morning after thinking you wouldn't make it through the night.

i test my body to see if it works, remembering not to move my legs because - well, surgery. i squeeze lando's sweaty, warm hand, yet not wanting to wake him up at the same time.

his eyes flutter open. they are rimmed red, bloodshot, watery. he doesn't believe i'm awake - doesn't want to, in fear that it's all a fever dream and i'll be asleep again.

"y/n? you're awake?"

i nod, gesturing for a glass of water, which he hands to me.

my hands are shaky as i take the glass, sipping it slowly as lando tries to prop me up on the hospital bed.

"i'm sorry. for hurting you, and everyone else. i should've told you i will be all fine. i'm so sorry lando, i love you, i never want to see you cry. i'm so sorry."

he shakes his head, tears in his eyes.

"it's not your fault. you couldn't have predicted that this would happen, what counts is that you are okay now, and you're right here with me."

"but-"

"no buts, love. you're okay now, and you'll get better with time. i'll be right next to you through it all. you and me against the world, forever. okay?"

"okay."

he smiles.

"maybe okay will be our always."

i smile, for the first time in twenty days.

"maybe."