#being wonderfully evil ✰ THE Hacker ✰

[opportunistic-chicanery]

@glassesandmustaches

Morning. When Hacker's eyes first fluttered open in the morning, he was fooled, as he was most days when the weather was good, to think the position he was in could have been worse. His room was warm and still quiet. The sound of solitude was something he'd found himself clinging to in recent months, up until the moment each day it was forcibly ripped from him by the doctors and therapists that made it their business to raid his facilities, or worse—

Today though, the mood on the site seemed different. He glanced up at the barred window above his bed where a parade of cybugs, his only welcome source of company, were pattering through. Any moment now his peace would be broken by his door swing open and the presence of a discourteous stranger. To his surprise the moment didn't come. The hall outside his door was still, without the sound of a single footstep or squeak of a hospital cart to break the silence.

"A special visitor," he rasped, sitting up. "Oh, what joy."

[thefanficmonster]

Know No Better

Streamer Gang & Reader (Gender Neutral)

Warnings: Swearing

Genre: Platonic Fluff, HUMOR, Crack, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: A game of Among Us with this gang can never go without a halt for some spit-fire accusations and bickering, but throw their mutual friend Y/N in the mix and the chaos flares up twice as intensely.

Requested by my dear friend @thelittleplantlover  Hi darling! Thank you so much for being such a loyal reader and never shying away from giving me your full honest feedback. You are an amazing person, a lovely friend and a mutual I’m glad I gained on my Tumblr journey. Love you with all my heart, Vy 💕

“Yo, sorry I’m....late“ Charlie’s eyebrow raises as soon as he enters the Discord call, almost half an hour after the scheduled time due to difficulties with his wi-fi connection. However, neither his presence nor his apology are acknowledged, seeing as how he wasn’t even heard over all the shouting going on in the call. “Um, what’s going on here?“ He asks no one in particular, aware that he probably won’t get an answer. 

Surprisingly, though, someone does answer him - Sykkuno. “Hey Charlie, welcome. You missed a whole round and a whole debacle between...” The yelling voices give a clear idea of who this debacle is happening between: Rae, Corpse and Y/N. “Yeah, you can probably tell between who.”

“Yo, is that Y/N? Dude, I haven’t heard from you in so long where’ve you been?“ Charlie exclaims, eyebrows raising in delighted surprise, “What are you arguing about? Imma argue with you.“

“You don’t even know what we’re arguing about!“ Rae snaps, scaring the ever-loving daylight out of the newcomer that all but shrinks a bit in his seat, “These are matters the three of us have to deal with!“

You see, Charlie’s not one to press his luck - definitely not when the sweetheart Rae lashes out like that, reminding him that the impossible can be possible if you’re a strong enough believer - but right now, seeing as how he isn’t playing yet, he’s thirsty for some amusement even if it comes with the price of being verbally beat and battered by the currently bickering trio.

“God bless the day you three actually manage to deal with something by yourselves.“ He snickers, half-hoping Rae wouldn’t hear him. Actually, it’s more one third hoping she wouldn’t the other two suggesting otherwise. Adding gasoline to the fire - it’s basically in his resume at this point.

The reply he receives is not even oriented around his statement and it doesn’t come from Rae - whether that be a blessing or a curse - but rather from Y/N. “Charlie, help! Corpse and I are being wrongfully accused over here!“

“There’s nothing wrong about my accusations! I heard you bribing Corpse into vouching for you, you impostor!“ Rae spits out the word as though this argument is a real deal and not just them throwing a collective tantrum as they usually tend to do.

“He asked me for immunity in exchange for keeping his mouth shut! I never offered it to him!“ Y/N argues back, “Not my fault he’s a corrupt crewmate!“

“You were about to accept the offer though! Who does that?!“ Rae’s not giving up her ground either.

“Anyone! All of you know you would’ve accepted the offer had you been the one to be proposed it!“ Y/N whines, reminding themself and everyone else that they are not a very argumentative or confrontational. The only time they can be caught butting heads with people is as a joke, among this very group of people and over something as small as a bribery in Among Us. “And why is no one going off at Corpse for this? Why am I the villain here? Um, hello?! I’m an impostor, I’m supposed to be evil. One of your own betrayed you, and I’M your biggest problem?!”

“I’d like it if you didn’t get me involved...“ Corpse inquires shyly, as though fearing he too is in for an outburst from Rae if he dares oppose hers and Y/N’s statements.

Unfortunately for him, he’s attacked by their joined forces with a: “YOU STARTED THIS!” Shouted at him in unison. Just like Charlie, he too shrinks in his seat.

“Hey Toast.“ Charlie nudges one of his friends, one he hasn’t heard from for the entirety of his short time in the Discord call, “You there?“

“Sup man?“ Toast answers, unmuting his mic for the first time after approximately ten minutes of silence on his end due to this heated debate going on.

“Ten bucks says this goes on for another ten minutes.“ Charlie says nonchalantly, already planning the cheap dinner he’s gonna order with those ten bucks.

“Nah man, fifteen for fifteen minutes. These two have no chill.“ Toast says, taking a sip of his soda.

“You’re both wrong.“ Sykkuno interferes, “I’m putting in twenty for twenty and I’m starting a timer.“

“WHAT?!“

The three men sit there paralyzed now that the two sides of the battlefield have temporarily united once again to end them. Lord knows when Y/N and Rae unite, nothing good is in store for those who they’re up against.

“N-nothing...I was just announcing that...“ Charlie starts off, strategically reaching for the plug for his router, “...my wi-fi’s gonna disconnect in three, two...“

“DON’T YOU DARE!“

And WHOOP he’s gone. And so are Toast, Sykkuno and Corpse.

“I really can’t believe them sometimes.“ Rae grumbles under her breath finding the miserable number of remaining players once again gathered in the cafeteria after no one got voted out despite everyone knowing it’s Y/N.

“And here I thought Charlie would back me up.“ Y/N sighs disappointedly, shooting a brief look at their chat, “Hell if I ever trust him again.“

“Look at the bright side though!“ their friend, moments ago opponent, hurries to comfort them as though their argument never happened. Technically, it really didn’t. “He’s at least not gonna get those ten bucks he sounded so confident in getting.“

Knowing Charlie, losing a bet will most likely leave him feeling torn, but hey, much to his comfort, he was the closest in guessing the duration of the arguing. You win some and you lose some, this time he’s done neither. But he will get an earful from Y/N at the first given chance they get, which he’s grown used to over the years, being the one knowing them the longest. What he’s still trying to get used to is how much they’ve clicked with his friend group. Never did he imagine his socially awkward and shy friend would steal all his friends and literally wrap them around their little finger. Truth be told, amazement aside, he’s quite proud of them for it.

Yes, of course he’s gonna try bringing this up when they open fire on him as an attempt to calm them down. Yes, he knows it probably won’t work. But also: yes, he knows what will. Cause that’s what best friends do - they know. However, they should also know better than to bet on their friends.

 But come on, it’s Charlie and Y/N we’re talking about over here - neither of them know any better. Hell, no one in this gang knows better. That’s what makes them so uniquely and wonderfully chaotic. 

@maat-the-prescriptive  @simonsbluee  @save-the-sky  @itsminniekat  @hacker-ghost  @bi-andready-tocry  @imtiredaffff  @jazzkaurtheglorious  @hereforbeebo  @fandomgirl17  @chrysanthykios  @maehemscorpyus  @loraleiix  @letsloveimagines  @annshit  @i-cant-choose-a-username-help  @enigmaticmaze  @divine-artemis  @waterlilypat  @idontknowwhatthisisfam  @evi-ka  @classyandfabulous00  @redperson58  @lilysdaydreams @solowheein  @mythicalamphitrite  @axen-gers  @luckygirl144  @nj01  @buddyemily   @the-albino-lioness  @stardream14  @gdhdkfnn  @nomadicgypsyy  @preciousskye  @fluffysuicideunicornsworld  @o-kaelin  @manacharlotte  @awkward-youtube-trash  @lolalee24  @bonky-beerns  @meme-lord-and-savior-sebastian  @strawbrinkofdeath  @teenloves  @tams0527  @browneyespinkhair  @starstruckllamapuppy  @daisychains012  @y0ulooked  @tinytacosuitcaseflap @supernatural-is-my-only-life  @jula-pauline  @melodykitty  @just-that-bi-girl  @crazybutconfidentaf  @lowellshade @alphakees  @bellero  @weallneednamjesus  @starryhanji  @boiled-onionrings  @husherstan  @fockingwhore  @melaningoddessthings  @prettypastelpetals  @haleypearce  @godwhyamiawkward  @y-napotat  @daisychainyoonmin  @little-miss-rebel3  @free-wheelin-bi-sexual  @redmoon261 @darkacademic2  @wiseflamingoqueen  @into-the-end  @namikhai-i  @nastiablr  @thelittleplantlover  @mirktuan  @dont-hyuck @jjk-bunny  @vintagegothlover  @easygoingtheatre  @itsrandombooklover  @miiaivi  @emmybaybee  @befourgolden  @jjk-is-my-shit  @eternalteaaars  @spacebadgerx  @princesslunalight  @acequinn14  @samm48  @misselsbells06 @simp-lykawa  @fo-love  @marishimomura-blog  @therealglenncoco  @cinnamonbun332  @killtherandomness  @sanshinexxxsan  @fee-btheweeb  @press-lay  @cathleenpotgieter16  @jazzydoesstuff  @moonlxghtbay  @forestrain2000  @hyunjinhugs  @blood-of-fandoms  @lovellylies  @ukiyolixx  @simpforhpcharacters  @chrisdylan17  @parkerjisung  @pedernille  @theodonyous  @wineandionysus  @malfoystilinskii05  @morbid-x  @coryisagee  @jessewa26  @scoobydooluver97 @mindintheskies365  @raeanneinwonderland  @indecisive-empanada  @gluttonypalace  @loriane2503  @btsiguess-kpop  @khaoticbunny  @lucidlycactus  @smiithys  @rottenroyalebooks  @kpopgirlbtssvt  @fangirl-tc27  @fr0z3n-1  @notmesimpingfortechno  @shotarosleftpinky  @kunoi-chan  @idk-whats-wrong-with-me  @yikeroonie  @goldenstarofthunderclan  @poetry-and-tea  @ama-do-writing-stuff  @wishbonewolf  @emeraldxhope  @t0xick1tty  @kusuinko  @speakyourselfloveyourself  @sophia902103  @lo-manburg  @classsykittykat  @dmgama  @depressedpuppythatneedscoffee  @btsiguess-kpop  @akaashi-baby  @gun-jong-simp  @geschichtenfee  @yerapotato-wp  @browneyedgirl365  @thysagclub  @sparklycloudnight  @helloatomicshadow  @queentorresstuff @vtte @val-gal  @lucy-bunny17  @aaliyahh0  @katluckybear  @boyleanti  @straybids  @franchesca-791  @cosmicstorm19  @averyisbackinthetrashcan  @aomi-nabi  @xlanawriter  @allensimpsforcorpse

[sandalaris]

2, 16, and 26 please! 💖

2: Top 3 villains/antagonists: This was harder to answer than I thought it would be, mainly because I feel like my answers would be pretty fluid depending on when I would answer.

1. The Darkling from the Grishaverse books by Leigh Bardugo. This might be cheating a bit because Netflix is turning the series into a show and so the characters have been on my mind quite a bit, and not sure he would be a first choice otherwise. He sort of the perfect example of "this is what I want more than just about anything but I am unwilling to give up my evil masterplan to get it" type character.

2. Killgrave from Jessica Jones. I can't say why he comes to mind when I think Top Villains, but he does. He fascinated me from the very beginning and I loved every second of his storyline. In part I think because he's written in such a way that while he's very much a True Villain, they also managed to keep him very very human. So perhaps he's not so much a Top Villain but rather a favorite villain of mine.

3. Dubenich from Leverage. The show is full of good villains, but he's the one to kick start the whole thing and he does so by so effortlessly playing the victim. He tries to take a shortcut and then lies and (attempts to) kill a group of hardened badass criminals when he could have just hired them straight out to steal for him what he wanted. And then he gets mad when they don't lay down and die like good little minions and instead fight back. The villains on the show are often greedy and awful, but there's something wonderfully satisfying about watch someone who tried to take the shortcut within the shortcut get what's coming to him

16: Top 3 characters who die

1. Glenn Rhee from The Walking Dead. I love Glenn, he became my favorite since his first appearance and remains my favorite character on the TWD to this day. He was an amazing strategist and a wonderful dose of humor. There's just so much to love about Glenn, and I will forever be bitter that they killed him off.

2. Does Kate Fuller from From Dusk Till Dawn: The Series count? She died, technically, she just didn't stay dead. I have a lot of love for Kate and I kind of adore that she was so angry when she died. Not something you see a whole lot of with characters like her. He death was more than just for some Man Pain too, although it was used for that as well, but it's a legit plot point as well. Season three would have gone very differently if Kate hadn't died at the blood well.

3. Another character who came back from the dead is Peter Hale from Teen Wolf. Whom I love and adore, but I'm going to try and pick a character who actually stayed dead. And speaking of Not Nice characters who are technically the Good Guys, let's go with the good ol' fashioned HP series and Severus Snape. I cried like a baby when he died, even though I knew there was no way he'd survive the series. He remains one of my top favorite characters in the series and I couldn't have asked for a better death scene for him.

26: Top 3 obscure series/movies/books I recommend (I cheated slightly and recommended more than three)

1. Dark Matter. I'm not sure how obscure I'd consider it, but it was a show that was cancelled too soon and that I had never heard of before a random person said I should check it out. It takes the amnesia trope and turns it on its head. The entire main cast wakes up without a clue about who they are from the very beginning and then decides to give up their pasts and focus on who they want to be with a clean slate. So many shows give a character amnesia and then has a story around this sort of new person with a familiar face before things go back to the status quo. This show does the exact opposite. The amnesiac version is the character the audience know and love and we root for them to embrace the people they want to become over the people they were before. For a more obscure show, The Almighty Johnsons is a good show. I don't recommend it quite as hard as Dark Matter, I just don't think it would appeal to as broad an audience, but it's still really good show about a family who are the Norse gods reborn in human form and the trials they face.

2. The Lunar Chronicles by Marissa Meyer. Such a good book series, that keeps teasing me with hints of a possible future movie. The four books are retellings of classic fairytales set in futuristic world, with Cinderella being a cyborg and the Big Bad Wolf is a genetically enhanced super soldier. Oh, and Rapunzel is a genius hacker living in a satellite. I love these books and can't recommend them enough.

3. Boondock Saints. It's a pretty good movie about two brothers who go on a killing spree against a criminal syndicate that's infiltrated the area they live in. It's got a decent size cult following, but the average person hasn't heard of it so I'm going to count it as an obscure film. For a more obscure film, Repo! The Genetic Opera is a good movie set in a futuristic world where organs can be repossessed for failure of payment and no one is really a good person

[ceealaina]

Title: Computer Love Collaborator Name: ceealaina Card Number: 3088 Link: AO3 Square Filled: A3 - Artificial Intelligence Ship: Stony Rating: Explicit Major Tags: Steve Versus Technology, Get Together, Smut Summary: A spam email and a misunderstanding from Steve lead to him accidentally revealing something very surprising. Word Count: 6228

Contrary to popular belief, Steve had adapted to technology wonderfully. As far as he was concerned, microwaves were the greatest things ever invented, right after the internet and computers. He still used physical newspapers, but it was mostly just to drive Tony crazy. He could use a tablet and his phone without even thinking, and loved the array of information and music and games that were instantly available at his fingertips. And he could spend hours binge-watching tv shows and movies. 

What took a lot more getting used to was people. The way they interacted now was different. It had taken him probably too long to realize that men especially didn’t stand as close, didn’t touch the same way — except for Tony, who was as touchy feely as they came. He’d apologized, once, but Steve had told him he didn’t mind, that he appreciated that easy, friendly, physical intimacy that he’d thought he’d lost in the 40s, and since then Tony had made a point of touching him, probably more often that he did anyone else. 

Other interactions hadn’t been so easy. 

So when Steve woke up one morning, and found the email in his work inbox -- from his own email address -- he had a brief heart attack. 

Hello!

I have very bad news for you. on this day I hacked your OS and got full access to your account xxxxxxxxxx

So, you can change the password, yes… But my malware intercepts it every time. 

How I made it:

In the software of the router, through which you went online, was a vulnerability. I just hacked this router and placed my malicious code on it. When you went online, my trojan was installed on the OS of your device. 

After that, I made a full dump of your disk (I have all your address book, history of viewing sites, all files, phone numbers and addresses of all your contacts). 

A month ago, I wanted to lock your device and ask for a not big amount of btc to unlock. But I looked at the sites that you regularly visit, and I was shocked by what I saw!!!

I’m talk you about sites for adults. 

I want to say - you are a BIG pervert. Your fantasy is shifted far away from the normal course!

And I did an idea… I made a screeshot of the adult sites where you have fun (do you understand what it is about, huh?). After that, I made a screenshot of your joys (using the camera of your device) and glued them together. Turned out amazing! You are so spectacular

I’m know that you would not like to show these screenshots to your friends, relatives or colleagues. I think 51551 is a very, very small amount for my silence. 

Besides, I have been spying on you for so long, having spent a lot of time!

Pay ONLY in Bitcoins!

My BTC wallet: 182pjesSewBUj8PEgfM58p64jbok3i1gNU

You do not know how to use bitcoins? Enter a query in any search engine: “how to replenish btc wallet”. It’s extremely easy

For this payment I give you two days (48 hours). As soon as this letter is opened, the timer will work. 

After payment, my virus and dirty screenshots with your enjoys will be self-destruct automatically. If I do not receive from you the specified amount, then your device will be locked, and all your contacts will receive a screenshots with your “enjoys”.

I hope you understand your situation.

Do not try to find and destroy my virus! (All your data, files and screenshots is already uploaded to a remote server)

Do not try to contact me (this is not feasible, I sent you an email from your account)

Various security services will not help you; formatting a disk or destroying a device will not help, since your data is already on a remote server. 

P.S. You are not my single victim. so, I guarantee you that I will not disturb you again after payment! This is the word of honor hacker

I also ask you to regularly update your antiviruses in the future. This way you will no longer fall into a similar situation. 

Do not hold evil! I just do my job. Good luck. 

“Oh shiiit,” Steve breathed. 

It wasn’t that he had any problem with porn, or his own sexual proclivities. He had known he was attracted to both men and women since before Captain America was even a thought in anyone’s mind, and he felt exactly zero shame about that. He had, in fact, been just waiting for a Republican broadcaster to bring it up so he could announce his bisexuality in the most satisfying way possible. The increase in acceptance of different sexualities was one of his other favourite things about the future. 

But that didn’t mean he wanted everyone getting full frontal shots of him jerking off. 

He knew, logically, that it happened these days. He had watched exactly thirteen seconds of Tony’s sex tape before realizing that oh shit, it was real and snapping his laptop shut. But he didn’t think he could handle it quite so well -- he lacked both Tony’s sense of self-confidence, and his utter lack of shame. And he was Captain America, he was meant to be a role model, there were certain things people expected of him. 

And then there was the whole other aspect of the Captain America issue. If they’d managed to hack his personal email, who knew what other sensitive information they might have come across in the process. 

A feeling of panic starting to pool in his stomach, he hopped out of bed. Pausing just long enough to pull on sweatpants and a t-shirt, he grabbed his tablet and made a dash for the lab. 

Tony was elbows-deep in some circuitry, although he seemed to have been expecting Steve, giving him a quick glance and a warm smile as Steve burst into the room. 

“Nice outfit, Cap,” he told him, and Steve glanced down to realize his shirt was inside out and his sweatpants were on backwards. “What can I do for you?” 

“Uhh.” Now that he was here, Steve wasn’t entirely sure how to explain. “I could use your… Technical expertise?” he tried, tightening his grip slightly on the tablet. “It’s sort of sensitive. And time sensitive too, for that matter.”

That, apparently, intrigued Tony enough to finish up what he was doing and give Steve his full attention. “What’s up?” he asked, taking in Steve’s harried appearance. “You okay?” 

“Yeah. I mean… I think so?” Steve sighed and held out his tablet, holding it like it might explode at any moment. “I got this email this morning,” he said, deciding it would be easier to let Tony read it for himself, rather than trying to stumble his way through an explanation. “It came from my own account.”

Tony arched an eyebrow, but he looked more curious than concerned. His eyes flickered as he read over the screen, and he couldn’t have been more than a few seconds in before he started laughing. A little nonplussed, Steve folded his arms across his chest, frown creasing his forehead as Tony kept laughing over the email. 

“Oh god, this is priceless,” he choked out. “The spelling! ‘A screenshot of your joys!’” There were actual tears in Tony’s eyes, he was laughing so hard, and Steve was starting to get a little offended now. “Oh god, and then trying to convince you at the end that he’s actually a good guy, and not to hate him.” Tony actually snorted, wiping tears from his eyes as he set the tablet down on a table. “Oh man. Thanks, Steve, you big pervert.” He giggled again. “It’s been a day. Or, uh…” He glanced somewhat guiltily at the clock. “Night, I guess. I really needed that.”

“Uhh… Okay.” Steve watched as Tony walked back over to his project. “But what are we going to do about it?” 

“Do about it?” Tony repeated, looking utterly confused for a minute before his eyes widened. “Oh. Oh, Steve, it’s not real.” 

His voice was kind, but something about it made Steve feel squirmy and uncomfortable, embarrassed by his own ignorance. “What do you mean it’s not real?” he asked.

“It’s a scam, Steve. It wasn’t even sent from a real person. It’s just a real basic AI, and an automated message.”

“But it came from my account?” Steve hated that it came out as a question. 

“It’s a spoof; it didn’t really come from your account, the program just makes it look like it did.” 

Steve felt his eyes go wide. “They can do that?” 

“Pretty easily, actually, if you know what you’re doing.” 

Steve picked up the tablet again, frowning down at it. He felt silly now, but still couldn’t help being a little worried. Tony had just written it off so quickly. What if he was wrong? 

Tony sighed, coming around to stand beside him. “Look, Steve, just read it over. The writing is a mess. It’s barely comprehensible in some places.” 

“Not everyone gets to go to some fancy-ass finishing school, Tony,” Steve pointed out, sounding grumpier than he’d really intended. “Their grasp of the English language doesn’t mean it’s not legit.” 

“Okay,” Tony acknowledged, obviously starting to get frustrated in response to Steve’s tone. “But Steve… a ‘vulnerability in the router?’ Who has two thumbs and personally designed every bit of technology in this joint to make sure it would be completely secure?” He pointed to himself with both thumbs. “This guy! For fuck’s sake, Steve, your work computer doesn’t even have a webcam. How would they even get these screenshots?”

“Well, I don’t know, Tony,” Steve snapped back, once again opening his mouth without thinking. “You’ve got a robot butler, alright? Someone secretly taping me jerking off to Iron Man porn could definitely happen.” 

For a moment, Steve didn’t even realize what he’d said, glaring mutinously down at the email. But Tony’s lack of a snappy response grew suspicious, and Steve looked up to find Tony staring at him with wide, unblinking eyes, mouth hanging open. 

“I’m sorry. You jerk off to what now?”

“Uhh,” Steve cleared his throat, doing his best to give off an appearance of nonchalance. “You know, I just meant in like a… General sense of the meaning.” He was pretty sure the blush he could feel setting his cheeks on fire was giving him away. 

“Right,” Tony said, tilting his head as he eyed him consideringly. He leaned back against a table, crossing his legs at the ankles and folding his arms across his chest. “So you only jerk off to Iron Man porn in a general sense.” 

“Yes,” Steve said with confidence that he didn’t feel. “Wait, no! I don’t jerk off to Iron Man porn. I just meant that… someone could… jerk off to Iron Man porn.” 

“Oh, I see.” Tony nodded sagely, but he was openly grinning at him now. “You were referring to the general me, and not the specific me.”

Steve glared, but it was lacking in heat. “I know you’re just making fun of me,” he grumbled. Tony gave him a pointed look in return, like he deserved it. “Look, you’re very…” He gesticulated wildly at Tony, trying to encompass everything he was. “You. And then the suits are amazing pieces of technology, and the way they move and…” 

“Huh.” Tony licked his lip almost nervously, before a shit-eating smirk crossed his lips. “So is that why you spend so much time hanging out with me down here? Perving on my suits and storing up images for the spank bank?”

“No!” Steve burst out. “No, of course not. I’m here because I enjoy spending time with you!”

Tony’s eyebrow arched, tongue flicking out again. It was very distracting. “So then is it Iron Man porn you’re watching, or Tony Stark porn?” 

Steve’s eyes went wide. “There’s Tony Stark porn??” he demanded, before realizing that his voice probably came out just a little too enthused at that prospect. “I mean, uh… Like you were in a blue film, or…?” He trailed off as he suddenly realized what Tony probably meant.

“Uhh.” Tony’s expression was difficult to read. “Well, I was just talking about the knock off pornos, some guy with a business suit and a poorly maintained goatee banging a bunch of blondes. But, uh.” He rubbed at his eyebrow. “There were some definite lapses in judgment, when I was younger. Some tapes I made when I was too… inebriated to think the better of it, and had extremely poor taste in partners. They’re probably still floating around the internet, if you take the safe search off.”

It was said flippantly, but Steve spent a lot of time watching Tony. He could see the slight edge to his smile, the twist of his ankle that meant he actually was a little embarrassed, even if he was playing it off. 

“It’s Iron Man,” Steve told him quickly. “It’s definitely Iron Man. Something about that suit… I don’t know.” He shrugged helplessly.

“Ah, well then.” Tony was still grinning, wide and bright, but for just an instant it seemed like his eyes had dimmed slightly. “Remind me to adjust your permissions so you’re not allowed down here alone, huh?” 

Steve rolled his eyes. “Tony.” 

Tony waggled his eyebrows at him, laughing, but he was turning away and it felt like something had shifted between them. Steve couldn’t help feeling like he was disappointed, somehow. He couldn’t get a read on him, but Tony had been licking his lips an awful lot and, well. Steve had always been a bit of an insufferable idealist.

“I mean,” he started, before he could talk himself out of it. “I also didn’t know that Tony Stark was an option, so… That might change things, a little… Now…” 

Tony had gone still, his back a straight line, and with a sinking feeling Steve started to wonder if he’d gotten it entirely wrong. 

“I mean, um. Unless that makes you uncomfortable, in which case… I mean, I would never violate your privacy and look at your tapes, but if even the idea freaks you out, I just…” He winced as Tony turned around again, openly grinning at him again. “I just mean if it freaks you out we can forget I ever said anything,” he finished lamely. He could feel his skin growing hotter and he heaved out a sigh before burying his face in his hands. “Don’t suppose you have a built-in feature that let’s the floor open up and swallow me whole?” he mumbled into his skin. 

“No,” Tony told him, and there was laughter in his voice. “But I’ll get to work on that right away.” 

Steve just nodded, still hiding his face as he waited for the flaming heat of his skin to die down a little. Before it did though, Tony was kicking his ankle. 

“Hey. Steve, you’re fine. I’m not mad. I’m really, really not mad.” 

Steve nodded again, finally lifting his head back up although he couldn’t quite bring himself to look at Tony directly. “Right, well. I’m going to quit the team and become a vigilante instead. Maybe make my own costume… I’ve always liked blue and yellow.” 

He made no actual attempt to leave though, couldn’t seem to manage to remove himself from Tony’s orbit. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Tony chewing at his lip. 

“You know,” Tony said after a minute. “I never actually told anyone this, not even Rhodey — don’t know why, we were dating for fuck’s sake. But uh.” He shook his head, realizing he was distracted. “When I was a kid, I had this vintage Captain America poster on my wall?” 

Steve's head snapped over to look at him, feeling his breath catch in his chest. Tony shook his head, grinning a little foolishly. 

“Come on, Steve. You know where I’m going with this.”

Steve shrugged, grinning at him helplessly. “Tell me anyway.” 

Meeting his eyes, Tony kept perfect eye contact as he continued. “So when I was a little older, I started getting these urges…” He smirked when Steve rolled his eyes. “Spent a lot of nights jerking off to that poster, Steve. Fantasizing about, well… You. And honestly? Not a lot has changed since then.” He pushed off the table he was leaning against, moving forward. Steve’s heart stopped as Tony stalked toward him until he was close enough that Steve could practically feel his breath on his lips. “Tony Stark is definitely an option,” he breathed.

For a moment silence hung between them, heavy as Tony waited for Steve to make the next move. And then all at once Steve surged forward, hands curling tight around Tony’s hips as he yanked him up tight against his body. He’d probably used a little more force that was strictly necessary, but judging by the way Tony’s eyes darkened, and the soft, breathy noise he made, he didn’t mind in the slightest. Steve hesitated only a moment longer, eyes locked with Tony’s, before he leaned in to kiss him. It was gentle at first, a little tentative, but then Tony made another soft, needy noise, and Steve couldn’t stop himself from reacting, pushing the kiss deeper, licking along the seam of Tony’s lips until he opened up for him, kissing him until Tony was out of breath and pulling back with heavy panting breaths. 

They stood there, grinning goofily at each other for a ridiculously long minute before Tony finally cleared his throat. “So, Cap? Did I measure up to all your fantasies?”

“More than,” Steve told him quickly, not even giving it a second thought. “Jesus Christ, Tony.” His hands flexed on Tony’s hips, and then he was drawing him in for another kiss, feeling his knees go a little weak as he felt Tony’s cock hardening against his thigh. 

“Um.” Tony was looking a little flushed when they pulled away again, and Steve delighted in the fact. “No pressure, if you’re not up for it.” He snickered then, pressing his face into Steve’s shoulder for a minute as he got his ridiculous laugh under control. “Metaphorically speaking, since I can tell part of you is very up for it.” He emphasized this with a purposeful grind of his leg against Steve’s dick and Steve groaned in exasperation even as he nearly choked at the sensation. “What is it I see in you again?” 

Tony beamed at him, and then his hands were curling around the back of Steve’s neck, dragging him down for another kiss that had Steve seeing stars. 

“That,” he told him smugly, and Steve couldn’t even argue. “But as I was saying, if you want, we could, uh… See how many more of your fantasies we can bring to life?” 

He was waggling his eyebrows like an absolute idiot, but there was also something soft and tentative and a little nervous in his expression. It cleared a moment later, when Steve nodded his head so fast that he nearly gave himself whiplash. “Yeah, that uh… That sounds good. Please.” 

Tony’s grin grew impossibly wider, and then he was turning around, heading for the far corner of the lab. “Normally I’d try to impress you with my incredible view and high thread count sheets,” he said, glancing over a shoulder and snickering when he caught Steve blatantly checking out the bounce of his ass. “But uh… You’ve already seen all that, and I honestly don’t think I can stand to wait long enough to get you upstairs.” He plopped himself down on the side of the cot he kept down there, legs spread wide, and crooked his fingers at Steve. “C’mere, baby.” 

Steve eyed the cot skeptically. “I don’t think that’s gonna hold us,” he told him, although it didn’t stop him from practically sprinting over to join him. 

“Relax, handsome. It’s reinforced for Iron Man. We’ll be just fine. It’s science.”

Steve was skeptical about this particular brand of ‘science’ but Tony was leaning back against the mattress now, arching an eyebrow at him enticingly. His t-shirt had rucked up a little, revealing a deliciously tanned bit of skin at his hip, and the image was too good to resist. Steve moved forward until he was kneeling on the mattress, straddling Tony’s hips and looming over him. Tony licked his lips, staring up at him with wide eyes, and Steve leaned down to kiss him, groaning as their upper bodies pressed together.

“Fuck,” he cursed, couldn’t stop himself from grinding down against him, toes curling at the pressure on his cock. “Jesus, Tony. Wanted this for so long.” 

Tony bit his lip, looking absolutely delighted, and then he was leaning back until he was flat on his back, spreading his legs to make room for Steve in between them. He curled a hand in Steve’s wrinkled t-shirt and tugged at it. “This? Needs to come off.” 

“You first,” Steve told him, trying to at least pretend like he was cool.

Tony arched an eyebrow, looking like he was considering arguing just on the principle of it, but then he relented, sitting up a little to haul his t-shirt up over his head. He didn’t give Steve time to look before he was grabbing at the hem of his shirt too, yanking until Steve shifted enough to let him pull it off over his head, leaving his hair rumpled and messy. Tony grinned at him, combing it back from his hair in a surprisingly soft gesture. Then his eyes were drifting lower, catching somewhere around Steve’s nipples.

“Christ, look at you,” he mumbled. His hips rocked up and Steve groaned, fingers clenching against Tony’s hips, grinding down against him again. 

“Tony,” he gasped, head tipping forward to press against his shoulder. Tony huffed out a low laugh, and he slid a hand down Steve’s chest, tracing the lines of his pecs and making Steve pant into his skin. “Tony,” he said again. “Shit, I’m —,”

“Yeah?” Tony asked. He sounded like he was smirking. “Feel good?” 

Steve nodded, unable to put into words exactly how sensitive his chest was. His cock ached and he couldn’t seem to stop himself from grinding down against Tony over and over, feeling his balls pulling up tight. He mouthed desperately over Tony’s neck, sucking against his skin, and Tony’s legs tightened around his hips, his fingers tangling in the strands of Steve’s hair and tugging just hard enough to send sharp fizzles of pleasure shooting up Steve’s spine. 

“Me too,” Tony hummed, rubbing up against him. “God Steve, you feel amazing.” 

He groaned deep in his throat, tilting his head when Steve’s teeth scraped over his pulse point. And then his hand was shifting again, pinching and rubbing over Steve’s nipple. Steve’s eyes went wide and sightless, and he sobbed a moan into Tony’s neck as he came right there, grinding down against Tony as he dragged out his orgasm. 

“Oh god,” he muttered when he felt like he could breathe again. “Oh fuck.”

He could feel Tony’s hand rubbing soft and soothing over the back of his neck, and he squirmed a little in embarrassment. 

“Um.” He lifted his head to give Tony a somewhat sheepish look. “Hey.” 

“Hey.” Tony was grinning back at him, actually looking pleased. He shifted a little, moving back until he was on the bed properly, sitting up and leaning into the couple of pillows at the head of the bed, half dragging Steve with him owing to the way they were all tangled up together. His grin grew wider when he was met with Steve’s flushed face, and he brushed a flop of hair back from his forehead. “Don’t worry about it, Cap,” he told him, his other hand stroking absently over Steve’s thigh. “Happens to the best of us. Honestly, I’m flattered that I--,” 

Tony cut himself as his hand shifted over a little too far and Steve made a faint, punched out noise. For a long minute Tony just blinked at him, and then, deliberately this time, he gripped Steve through his sweatpants, thumb rubbing over the head of his still-hard cock through the damp material.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” he breathed, soft like Steve wasn’t supposed to hear. “Are you… Again? Already??” 

“Uh.” Steve felt his cheeks flush even deeper red. “Well, still. But yeah.” 

A high-pitched, desperate noise slipped out of Tony’s mouth and his hands pulled away from Steve, clenching against the sheets like he was trying not to come himself. “Is…” He cleared his throat and tried again. “Is this a common thing, or am I just special?” 

“Yes,” Steve answered before he’d even fully processed the question. “Yes, you’re definitely special.” He watched Tony’s face go soft and a little flustered at how sincere he was. “But uh… Two or three times is pretty much the norm for me.” 

Tony blew out a long breath, shaking his head and looking absolutely thrilled. “I am one lucky man.” 

Steve couldn’t help smirking at him. “Not yet,” he told him. “But you’re about to get very lucky.” 

Tony blinked at him, then started laughing, and while he was still cackling delightedly, Steve ambushed him. Getting his hands around Tony’s hips, he yanked him down a little lower. Amusement still on his face, Tony looked up at him with an arched eyebrow, clearly waiting for Steve’s next move. Steve ran his palms up and down over Tony’s thighs, noting the way Tony’s eyes followed the motion, the way his abs clenched at how big Steve’s hands were against his legs. 

“Can I…?”Steve didn’t finish the question, instead shifting his hand to toy with the button of Tony’s jeans. Tony swallowed hard and nodded, staring at Steve with wide, dark eyes. 

“Be my guest.”

His cock twitched.

With one orgasm out of the way, Steve was feeling more relaxed, not quite so desperate as before. He couldn’t resist teasing Tony now, sliding his hands up his thighs again, thumbs on either side of his cock, not quite touching him through his jeans. He felt the strong muscles in Tony’s legs clench, flicked his eyes up to see Tony open his mouth like he wanted to protest only to clench his jaw and keep quiet, eyeing Steve as he waited for his next move. Steve grinned and rewarded him with a quick stroke of his thumb over the bulge in the denim, his own cock giving a gratified twitch at the sharp inhale that Tony couldn’t quite hold back. 

“You’re a fucking tease,” Tony breathed, sounding both surprised and pleased by this revelation. Steve looked up at him again, gave him a wink, and took advantage of Tony’s resulting eyeroll to thumb open the button of his jeans.

Tony groaned at that, the sound coming from deep in his chest, the perfect blend of aroused and content. His hips twitched a little as some of the pressure was relieved and when Steve’s eyes tracked the movement, Tony rocked them again intentionally, letting his pants slide a little lower on his hips. 

Steve grinned, and instead of opening his pants further, he curled his hands around Tony’s thighs again, easily spreading his legs wider, just because he could. 

“Can I blow you?” he asked, just to see if he could pull another one of those incredible sounds out of Tony. This one was better, a high pitched breathy noise, like Steve had left him utterly shocked for a brief moment. 

“Yes,” Tony told him, nodding a little frantically and mussing up his hair against the pillows. “Yes, absolutely. Hell, Steve. You get these pants off me, and you can do whatever the fuck you want.” 

“Oh yeah?” Steve grinned and settled himself between Tony’s legs, unable to resist rocking down against the mattress for a moment. His own pants were starting to feel sticky and uncomfortable now, and he considered a minute before shoving them off entirely, the movement quick and perfunctory. 

Tony made a soft noise, clearly disappointed that he wasn’t getting a better view, and Steve hid his smile against his hip. Without further ado, Steve slid Tony’s zipper down and then shoved his jeans down over his hips. Tony moved with him easily, as in sync with each other as ever, arching and wiggling in the appropriate moments to get himself unclothed as quickly as possible. When he saw the bright red silky thing that Tony was wearing underneath, the thin fabric straining against the weight of his hardon, Steve had to take a minute to just shake his head. 

“Jesus Christ,” he muttered. “You’re so fucking… Decadent.” 

“You say that like it’s a bad thing. Nothing wrong with a little decadence, Steve. You ever try anything besides those cotton boxer briefs you like so much? I’ve got a hookup, if you wanted to... expand your horizons, a little.” Tony’s gaze went a little unfocused, mind jumping seventeen steps ahead, as usual. “God, you’d look amazing in something lacy. Maybe a pretty little thong, show off that ridiculous butt of yours. Or--,” 

Tony made a noise dangerously close to a squeal as Steve, without any warning, cut him off by dipping his head, sucking at him through the fabric. Tony clapped a hand over his mouth, like he could somehow take the sound back. “Or that. That’s good too.”

Steve huffed out a laugh, drawing another gasp out of Tony as the sensation vibrated up his dick. “You got it, boss,” he hummed, grinning when Tony shifted beneath his hands. 

“You’re such an asshole,” Tony protested, although he was laughing. Steve just looked up at him and winked again; if Tony thought he was an asshole, he could show him a real asshole. 

Taking his time, Steve placed gentle, sucking kisses up the length of his thick cock, still through the silky red fabric, more of a tease than any real pressure. Tony shuddered, whining under his breath, and out of the corner of his eye, Steve saw his fingers twist in the sheets beside his hips. 

Steve pulled back long enough to catch Tony’s hands in his, meeting his eyes steadily as he placed them on the back of his head and gave Tony a pointed look. 

“Jesus Christ,” Tony groaned, head tipping back. It didn’t stop his fingers from tangling in Steve’s hair. “This is not what I was expecting from you.” 

Steve shivered at the idea that Tony might have thought about this before. “Well, you know me. I’m just full of surprises.” He didn’t give Tony a chance to answer before he ducked lower, nuzzling at his balls. Tony made a pained noise, like it was so good he couldn’t stand it, and tightened his legs around Steve’s shoulders. Steve grinned and moved his hands back to Tony’s thighs, sliding them up and running the pads of his fingers through the coarse hair there. He slid them up until they were sliding under the elastic at the tops of his legs, teasing the skin hidden from view. He watched Tony’s cock twitch again, as he slid toward the crease of his groin. 

“Fuck,” Tony groaned, yanking at Steve’s hair until he shuddered. His voice was rough and hoarse. “Steve, if you don’t get these fucking things off of me…” 

Steve grinned, dipping his head to scrape his teeth over Tony’s hipbone. But he was itching for more too, and relented after that, pulling his hands free to grab at the waistband instead. Tony made a pleased sound, arching his hips to help Steve slide the fitted material down over his legs. 

“Shit,” Steve breathed as he was met with Tony’s thick cock, flushed and full, curving up toward his belly. “Look at you.” He blew out a slow breath, grinning when it breezed over Tony’s sensitive skin, making his cock twitch and back arch again. 

“Steve,” he groaned. “Steve, come on. Give me more, I need more. Please.” 

Steve shivered, rewarded Tony with a lick from base to tip. “I like the sound of that,” he said, hearing how low his own voice had gone. “You saying please.”

“Yeah?” Tony was grinning, obviously playing all cool and collected, but Steve had seen the wall his cock had throbbed. “You gonna make me beg, Rogers?” 

“Maybe.” Steve settled back between Tony’s legs, teasing his legs with his tongue and teeth, avoiding his cock altogether. Tony made a soft whining noise, trying to push himself closer, tugging at Steve’s hair to try and get him where he wanted, but Steve responded by pinning his hips to the mattress, holding him still as he mapped out the sensitive parts of his body, the places that made Tony twitch and moan and tug reflexively at the strands of Steve’s hair. He didn’t relent, no matter how much Tony tried, teasing him until he was a panting, shifting mess, head rolling back against the pillows as Steve wound him up until he couldn’t see straight. 

“Fu-uck,” Tony gasped, arching his back and tipping his head back. His neck made an enticing image, and for a moment Steve was distracted, thinking about how badly he wanted to mark it up. “Okay, Christ, you win. Please Steve, please. I’ll do anything, just please. Fucking touch me. Let me come, Steve, please.” 

Steve had ignored his own erection in favour of tormenting Tony, but it came back with a vengeance at the sound of Tony begging for him, his cock throbbing between his legs. He ground down against the mattress once, stroked a thumb over the curve of Tony’s hipbone. 

“Yeah,” he said, suddenly done with teasing. “Yeah, sweetheart. Whatever you want, you got it.” And then, because he’d always be a troll, he glanced up at Tony with a wicked smile. “Hey, did you know that I can hold my breath for fifteen minutes?” 

And while Tony was still parsing that in his flustered state, Steve curled his hand around the base of his cock and lowered his head, not stopping until Tony was pressing into his throat and Steve was groaning around his mouthful. 

“Oh Christ,” Tony wailed, hips bucking despite having nowhere else to go. He yanked hard at Steve’s hair, and Steve felt it in his balls. “Oh fuck, Steve, your fucking mouth.” He rocked desperately against him, going nearly cross-eyed as Steve sucked around him. He cursed and shifted as Steve pulled slowly off his cock, tongued at the head, before sucking him back down again. “I’m not… You can’t… Don’t judge me cause I’m gonna come in about two -- fuck!” 

Steve’s free hand moved, thumb rubbing harshly over his perineum, and for a brief moment Tony went stock still before he was coming hard, hands holding Steve’s head down as he came down his throat. The feeling was too much for Steve, who rocked down hard against the mattress, spilling against the sheets. 

It was a minute before Tony’s hands let go enough for Steve to pull off, panting more from the thrill of his orgasm than from any real exertion. He rubbed his sweaty forehead against the smooth skin of Tony’s abdomen, feeling it flex as he tried to catch his breath, and he grinned as Tony’s hand resettled on the back of his head, combing absently over the short strands. 

“Oh fuck,” Tony finally said, sounding like he’d only just remembered how to speak. “Oh fuck, that was… That was incredible, Steve.” There was no teasing in his voice, sweet and sincere, and Steve felt a warm, comfortable weight settle over him at the sound. 

Lifting himself up on slightly shaking limbs, he crawled up the mattress until he was face-to-face with Tony again, flopping down on the pillows beside him. It was a tight fit, but gave him an excuse to wrap an arm around Tony’s waist. “Yeah,” he admitted, aware that he was grinning like an absolute idiot. “Yeah, it really was.” 

Tony grinned back at him, equally stupidly, and then leaned forward, kissing Steve all slow and lazy now. 

“Oh hey,” he said, pulling back suddenly. “Sorry about, uh…” He gestured vaguely between them. “Coming down your throat without asking like that. Terrible sex etiquette.” 

Steve snorted, pressing his head to Tony’s collarbone as he laughed giddily. “It’s fine,” he promised him. “I wouldn’t’ve let you if I didn’t want it.” He lifted his head again to find Tony watching him with that same soft expression and he reached out, catching Tony’s hand and toying with his long fingers. “So. What now?” he asked, not quite meeting Tony’s eyes. 

“Now?” Tony repeated. “Now I’m thinking we take a shower, get cleaned up, and then maybe go upstairs and crawl into my bigger, more comfortable bed for a couple hours together?” He trailed off a little hopefully, and Steve looked up at him, felt his breath catch. “And then, uh…” Tony ducked his head and twisted his wrist so he could rub his thumb over Steve’s pulse point. “Then maybe I could take you to dinner? I’ve got this little Italian place I think you’d love.” 

“Yes,” Steve told him, and it was entirely too earnest but Tony didn’t look like he minded at all. “Yes, that sounds perfect.”

@tonystarkbingo

[stevenuniversallyreviews]

Episode 116: Gem Heist

“We won’t stand out if we play the roles we were made for.”

There’s nothing like a good heist. You’d think a plot with such a consistent formula (build a team, go over a plan, execute the plan and adapt to its inevitable failures) would get stale, but consider for a moment that Inception and Fast Five premiered within a year of each other, and are both heists following the same general beats, but they’re fully different experiences. I’m not gonna say which one is better, but only one of them has a car chase where a car is chained to a giant safe and uses it like a wrecking ball, so.

In some ways, Gem Heist drops the ball on what I want from a heist: there’s barely a planning stage, and the team is already together, so it’s all about the execution and the wrenches thrown at our heroes. But while it’s hardly the caper I hoped for from the title, I can’t help but admire how it takes the tropes associated with heists and uses them to comment on Gem society.

A heist is all about specialists with clear jobs. Safecrackers, getaway drivers, demolitions experts, con artists, the whole point is getting a bunch of talented people who are each essential to the group. This element is only briefly touched upon in the traditional sense in Gem Heist, with Steven referring to Pearl as “our hacker,” but in its place, our heroes must succeed by putting themselves into the very roles they escaped by becoming Crystal Gems. Sapphire is a wise advisor and Ruby a disposable bodyguard, and the two must be separated. Amethyst must be huge. Pearl must be lowly servant. And Steven, who can’t exactly take the leadership position of his Gem parent, must play the dumb human.

This conceit drives the episode and makes it unexpectedly solid in terms of characterization, given how bland its plot ends up being. This is basically an episode about walking through a hallway, and instead of a third act we just get two minutes transitioning Steven to the Zoo that could’ve been spent in our next episode (or heavily cut). Even Adventures in Light Distortion feels more meaningful from a sheer plotting standpoint, and that was literally just getting the Crystal Gems from Point A to B. But because of how fascinating the characters are to watch when forced into the positions they’d be stuck in had they not rebelled, I’m able to enjoy what would otherwise be a slog of an episode.

The surprise lead of Gem Heist is Sapphire, who takes charge of the situation right away and finally shines on her own. Ruby got a head start in Jailbreak in terms of screentime, and takes up more room when the two are together thanks to her louder personality, and has a whole squad of counterparts to define herself against, so I love seeing a focus on Garnet’s quiet half. 

Sapphire’s serene baseline is portrayed so well by Erica Luttrell that she’s often played comically straight (her casually agreeing to call Steven “Esteban” is a great example here), but we already know from Keystone Motel that she’s more than just her calmness. It’s great to see her lose her cool so early in the episode, putting up a confident front while planning but getting frazzled with its inevitable failure before the team even disembarks. I wouldn’t quite call her a ham in the way Ruby and Peridot can be, but her overacting while narrating her activities to warn her friends of danger is wonderful. And of course, she gifts us with the universe’s cutest wink.

Charlyne Yi always brings a lot to the table as Ruby, and while she’s had more to do than Luttrell after Hit the Diamond, this is the first time since then that she’s voiced our Ruby. The line of the night is her furious declaration that Blue Diamond “hates fusion and love?”—it’s such a horrible thought that Ruby treats it like a question rather than a statement, because how hating something as good as love even possible? Still, Ruby’s bigger highlight is all in the animation as she runs up a locked door, claws at it while screaming, and admits defeat when this doesn’t immediately work.

Pearl also benefits from the visuals, which portray her humiliations in ways Deedee Magno Hall can’t in the moment due to her needing to be quiet. Which isn’t to say Magno Hall doesn’t do a lot with what she’s given, going from embarrassed and deferential around Holly Blue Agate to pissed off while alone with the Crystal Gems. And while Amethyst is the first Crystal Gem to go, Michaela Dietz picks up the baton from Yi and Magno Hall to play other amethysts; it’s neat to hear her turn down the playfulness for gruffness without completely removing the prankster edge from her voice. And what we do see from Amethyst is a reasonable amount of nervousness around a first encounter with her peers, which pays off wonderfully in That Will Be All (as does the actual sentence “That will be all” that Pearl will soon get the chance to redirect).

Steven is surprisingly low-key here, all things considered, but I suppose with all the focus he gets in the first two episodes of this arc, as well as our next one, it makes sense to look more deeply at the Gems; after all, they’re the ones who were born into an oppressive class structure that they must temporarily return to (give or take an Amethyst, but she still has plenty of issues stemming from societal expectations). He’s got some decent jokes, and dominates the last part of the episode when separated from the Gems, but the last part of the episode is so boring that I don’t really care. 

Still, none of these characters would have the chance to shine without Holly Blue Agate, who comes in hot and seems physically incapable of chilling the hell out. Christine Pedi voices Holly in just two episodes of the original series, but boy does she know how to leave a mark. After seeing Homeworld loyalists from the bottom of the totem pole in Peridot and the rubies, a Homeworld loyalist who’s a known hero in Jasper, and two leaders of Homeworld in Yellow and Blue Diamond, we encounter perhaps the worst kind of zealot: middle management.

Holly Blue Agate is the Dolores Umbridge of Steven Universe. She’s not given the stage to become main villain material, but she sure knows how to be the most detestable kind of miniboss we could hope for. She’s a shameless sycophant whose worship of Gems she considers superior is matched only by her disdain for those she sees as beneath her, but because she actually has some authority, she’s able to be far more tyrannical than the likes of Peridot. She’s hardcore lawful evil on the classic alignment chart, but if we allow for variation to the classics, I’d consider her more petty evil than anything.

With one character, we personify the entire toxic class structure that the Crystal Gems were born to defy. And with every word, Holly Blue proves that our heroes were correct to abandon this caste system. She’s flippant in her physical abuse, and wears her bigotry as a point of pride, taking glee in enforcing the inferiority of every Gem around her but Sapphire, who earns the same kind of swooning she applies to Blue Diamond. This is all performed under the thin disguise of politeness, because again, this is Umbridge we’re dealing with. She yells that there’s no yelling allowed, then gets mad when an amethyst corrects herself by being too quiet. She either pretends to not understand human speech or genuinely doesn’t get that Steven is talking (I could get into a whole thing about the necessity of an unrealistic translator for the Gems, but first off they’re magic so unrealistic things are fine, and second off what’s clearly more important here is Holly’s attitude).

It’s almost a shame we don’t get more of Holly Blue, because she may be loathsome, but she’s the compelling kind of loathsome that makes an excellent villain. Aquamarine is similar in feigned sweetness and cruelty, but Holly lacks that Cartman-inspired awareness of how miserable she is, which makes her less extreme and more relatable to real-life monsters in our daily lives who are blind to their own awfulness. At least she gets one more episode to be horrible and receive some decent comeuppance for her behavior in Gem Heist.

As I’ve said, the actual story here is pretty dull. We get some hints at lore, as it’s now pretty clear that the Era 2 referred to by Peridot was separated from Era 1 by the death of Pink Diamond. We get further indirect characterization of Blue Diamond with Holly Blue Agate’s praise and Ruby and Sapphire’s scorn. And the final sequence, while feeling tacked on, at least gets some neat usage out of what looks like the same tech as Peridot’s gone-but-not-forgotten robofingers. But if not for the stark reminder of why the Crystal Gems’ ability to decide their lives is important, this would be one of the least consequential episodes of the series. Plenty of episodes have great characterization, this is Steven Universe after all, but most of those also bring more to the table.

I’ve never been to this…how do you say…school?

Second episode since Gem Harvest to feature the Floridoverse as the main promo, and while it’s a little unclear whether this is another Floridoverse promo where a new adult character is portrayed as a teacher (Holly’s uniform vaguely resembles Greg’s and Ruby’s) I’m gonna go ahead and hope the intent is for her to be a student because man, that vibe on a peer is in some ways even worse than on a superior.

We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!

Lousy plotting really knocks this one down, considering how great an actual heist could’ve been, but the character work barely scrapes this from an episode I don’t care about to one I enjoy. It straddles the line between Like ‘em and Enh, but I’ll be nice this time.

Top Twenty

Steven and the Stevens

Hit the Diamond

Mirror Gem

Lion 3: Straight to Video

Alone Together

Last One Out of Beach City

The Return

Jailbreak

The Answer

Mindful Education

Sworn to the Sword

Rose’s Scabbard

Earthlings

Mr. Greg

Coach Steven

Giant Woman

Beach City Drift

Winter Forecast

Bismuth

Steven’s Dream

Love ‘em

Laser Light Cannon

Bubble Buddies

Tiger Millionaire

Lion 2: The Movie

Rose’s Room

An Indirect Kiss

Ocean Gem

Space Race

Garnet’s Universe

Warp Tour

The Test

Future Vision

On the Run

Maximum Capacity

Marble Madness

Political Power

Full Disclosure

Joy Ride

Keeping It Together

We Need to Talk

Chille Tid

Cry for Help

Keystone Motel

Catch and Release

When It Rains

Back to the Barn

Steven’s Birthday

It Could’ve Been Great

Message Received

Log Date 7 15 2

Same Old World

The New Lars

Monster Reunion

Alone at Sea

Crack the Whip

Beta

Back to the Moon

Kindergarten Kid

Buddy’s Book

Gem Harvest

Three Gems and a Baby

Like ‘em

Gem Glow

Frybo

Arcade Mania

So Many Birthdays

Lars and the Cool Kids

Onion Trade

Steven the Sword Fighter

Beach Party

Monster Buddies

Keep Beach City Weird

Watermelon Steven

The Message

Open Book

Story for Steven

Shirt Club

Love Letters

Reformed

Rising Tides, Crashing Tides

Onion Friend

Historical Friction

Friend Ship

Nightmare Hospital

Too Far

Barn Mates

Steven Floats

Drop Beat Dad

Too Short to Ride

Restaurant Wars

Kiki’s Pizza Delivery Service

Greg the Babysitter

Gem Hunt

Steven vs. Amethyst

Bubbled

Adventures in Light Distortion

Gem Heist (barely!)

Enh

Cheeseburger Backpack

Together Breakfast

Cat Fingers

Serious Steven

Steven’s Lion

Joking Victim

Secret Team

Say Uncle

Super Watermelon Island

Gem Drill

Know Your Fusion

Future Boy Zoltron

No Thanks!

     6. Horror Club      5. Fusion Cuisine      4. House Guest      3. Onion Gang      2. Sadie’s Song      1. Island Adventure

[allthefilmsiveseenforfree]

Upgrade

This will NOT be a spoiler free review because holy shit holy shit holy shit. Blumhouse has done it again - they’re consistently making the most interesting, most relevant, most daring movies that I’ve seen in the last 2 years of aggressive film watching, and they show no signs of stopping. I was excited to see this movie, thinking it would be a fun, somewhat laughable Robocop ripoff. Let me repeat: holy shit holy shit holy shit. I know it seems like this might turn into gushing - it can’t be that remarkable, right? Well...

This movie is an example of the best things that speculative fiction can be, and that’s because it’s not afraid to be dark. A brief summary: Grey and his wife Asha live in the nearish future, in which most of the population contains some kind of biomechanical enhancement. Asha works for a company in this field, but Grey is not about that life - he’s a mechanic fixing muscle cars from the 70s and doing just fine without your evil technology, because Thomas Edison was a witch etc etc. One night they’re riding in Asha’s self driving car and the car’s computer is overridden and they start speeding through the streets until BOOM, there’s an accident. Some rough looking dudes pull Grey and Asha from the car and kill Asha after shooting Grey in the neck, rendering him a quadriplegic. Three months later, Grey comes home from the hospital and all seems hopeless. He’s clearly depressed, traumatized, and the detective assigned to his wife’s case has no clear leads. He tries to kill himself, landing himself in the hospital again - that’s when creepy teen savant software billionaire Eron (he bought one of Grey’s muscle cars that fateful night) comes in. He offers Grey a chance at a new life with the use of his invention, STEM, a chip implanted in the spinal cord that will essentially control Grey’s body for him using the electrical impulses from his brain. The catch is, this all has to be strictly confidential because blah blah blah human trials not yet approved. Grey agrees, STEM comes online, and Grey can walk again - and with the help of STEM he can go after the men who killed his wife.

Some thoughts:

SPOILERS START HERE. Once Grey allows STEM to fully control his body, the film becomes a whole new animal. I was incredibly impressed by Logan Marshall-Green’s performance as Grey (if you haven’t seen him in The Invitation, do yourself a favor and watch it on Netflix). There are points when his face is doing one thing and his body is doing something completely different because he and STEM are on two wildly different pages. The physicality of the role is at times astounding, and the eerie, uncanny movements of Grey’s body once STEM has taken over completely are one of the most unnerving images in the film.

Maybe not quite as unnerving as Grey using a butcher knife in a bad guy’s mouth to essentially split his fucking head in half. That was pretty gruesome. It wasn’t until I saw in the credits that this was written and directed by Leigh Whannell (he of the original Saw and co-star in the Insidious movies) that the brutality and gore showcased made a little more sense. 

Also keep your eyes peeled for the graffiti of Billy, the clown doll from Saw, on the wall of a flophouse apartment building Grey goes to.

So after Grey starts going after the criminals who murdered his wife, Eron can obviously track his movements through STEM. This is a minor thing, but Grey has to go to a hacker to named Jamie to get them to remove the input locks in the system and reboot him - Jamie explicitly identifies as nonbinary and makes it clear that Jamie isn’t even their real name. I searched for ages to find the performer’s name, but I can’t find it anywhere on imdb (it appears they went uncredited) and a Google search reveals nothing. Considering that this character lives in an anonymous apartment found only on the dark web, and is surrounded by people who spend days, weeks, even months at a time plugged into virtual reality, the fact that I can’t find them feels like a meta in-joke suitable for the questions this film is asking about reality, technology, and what it means to be human.

The one thing that I wish this film had done differently was the fridging of Asha. Why, why, why, WHY is this the only possible motivator for male protagonists in action-driven films? I’m happy that the relationship between Grey and Asha feels genuine, developed, and full of love. That’s great, and Asha is an interesting character who has agency, autonomy, and a compelling personality. For most of the film, it seems that Asha’s work for a company that helps wounded soldiers with biomechanical enhancements is the reason for her death and Grey’s paralysis, but her brutal murder is made meaningless when it’s revealed that it was in fact GREY who was the target that night. She was simply collateral damage. This is the ruthless thinking of STEM, who cares little about the value of human life, but jfc it’s 2018. There has got to be a better inciting action for male protagonists by now. [Related: how psyched is everyone for John Wick 3????]

The ending was so shocking and so gutting that I was honestly surprised the filmmakers went there. It reminds me of the best of Ray Bradbury, Robert Heinlein, and especially Harlan Ellison’s I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream. 

Whannell’s direction - the way the camera moves with and around Grey - is truly spectacular. I can’t think of many movies in recent memory in which I felt so viscerally that the camera angles were a vital ingredient to the story, and the physical embodiment of a character. Just a fantastic ride to go on.

The score is Blade Runner synth tones and it works WONDERFULLY to convey the sinister mood of this world that has not descended into urban post-apocalyptic chic yet. In many ways it looks like our world with some fancier tech thrown in, and the music helps create a fantastic atmosphere to show us that all is not what it seems.

You might think that this is some skippable Redbox fare, but trust me, this is a movie that is worth seeing in theaters if only because it is such a visceral gut punch that deserves your full attention. This one may end up being in my top 5 of the year.

[compartmentalisinghmpf]

Oh yeah, hey! I finally reviewed the latest Laundry book!

Just in time before the next one comes out, lol. Here it is:

The Delirium Brief (TDB in the following) was greeted in many quarters as a return to form after the slight slump of the last few books. Ungenerous souls might say that this is largely due to fans being a tad inflexible when it comes to swapping POV characters, and thus being happy to finally be back with familiar old Bob. Which is true, as far as it goes, but not the whole story. (Personally, I happen to think the Bob-narrated Rhesus Chart formed part of the slump already... I would like to add that it really was only a slight slump.) TDB is probably my second-favourite installment of the series after The Fuller Memorandum, and that has a lot to do with the way it leaves me with a lasting, urgent sense of dread, just like that earlier volume did. It also has something to do with the way TDB tells the story of a shocking fall from grace… also, somewhat, like that earlier volume (arguably. Bob really didn‘t so much fall as was shoved). Last but not least, like volume three, this installment succeeds in lifting the Laundry series onto an entirely different playing field. Since volume three, it has been obvious that eventually we would have to enter the field of politics -- and now we‘re finally there. Plotwise, it‘s a proper rollercoaster ride from start to finish. After Leeds, secrecy is no longer an option, and the book opens with Bob being interviewed on national television… and things really spin out of control fast, after that. We have been in the beginning stages of Case Nightmare Green for a while now, but Stross doesn‘t try to top the fireworks of the previous book, for now. Nevertheless, the events of TDB feel even more momentous: the Laundry crosses a Rubicon, and the extended quoting, at a certain point, from a certain infamous work from history should make us think very hard indeed about whether we still want to cheer them on, now. TDB, I think, represents the culmination of a project that Stross has been pursuing, sneakily, for quite some time: to make us root for protagonists and an organisation who, via their dedication to an Undeniably Just Cause, slowly turn into something that in any other context we would readily identify as "the bad guys". The larger story of the Laundry is now fundamentally a story about complicity. All the while we still can‘t help but root for our heroes. The reader thus becomes complicit, too. This is a wonderfully complex place to leave things for a while. As for Bob: Bob‘s presence as a narrator at this stage is indeed essential to the success of the book, because throughout the series, it is through Bob‘s developing identity as a sometimes conflicted, sometimes distancing-himself-by-snark, but, ultimately, always loyal operative that we‘ve experienced the Laundry‘s sense of its purpose, necessities, and (shifting) moral baselines. We`ve experienced the conditions of, and slide towards complicity through Bob -- and now we get to see the result. It‘s been a fascinating journey. Bob, signifcantly, makes none of the most crucial decisions in the book -- not actively. The most important ones are made entirely without his knowledge, or even forced on him by magic, without so much as asking his consent. (Not that the Laundry was ever big on consent.) It‘s an interesting choice to give your protagonist/narrator this little agency, especially in a book in which such momentous things happen. Bob‘s role in the Laundry and his self-image – the latter of which, much earlier, still bore traces of the old "rebellious hacker" archetype, although that‘s always been more pose than reality – are beginning to converge. He is beginning to think of himself as a tool/weapon to be wielded by the Laundry, and no longer seems to question what the Laundry does, nor its methods. This, of course, is one way in which complicity with large-scale evil happens. I‘ve said elsewhere that I think Bob is not necessarily an interesting character in his own right, but that I find him deeply fascinating as a reasonably ordinary character reacting to, and being changed by an utterly extraordinary situation. In TDB, this continues to be true, only more so. In tems of how he relates to the larger political and supernatural situation, his private and professional loyalties and sense of duty, his still-stinging conscience and his growing reservoir of guilt, not to mention his very unusual… abilities and ontological situation – and perhaps even, if it ever sees a resurgence, the remnants of that slight rebellious streak in his self-image - Bob is currently quite possibly the most interesting character in the series (or at least the one in the most psychologically interesting situation). – Very closely followed by Mo, of course, though at the moment it‘s a bit hard to say where Mo is, in terms of character, as the end of the book shakes things up in that regard, all the way into the sphere of the Unknowable. I know the next book will feature other characters, and that‘s fine, I‘m sure I‘ll enjoy it, too. I do hope, though, that we get to keep Bob and Mo as recurring POV characters, as well, in later books - because I really can‘t wait to see what choices they‘ll make in post-TDB-Britain – and I want to see those choices from the inside as well as the outside. 

[niceinitiative]

This post appears simultaneously on LinkedIn…….

“You have your moments. Not many of them, but you do have them.”

“Hope is not lost today. It is found.”

— Princess Leia, Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back

“Truly wonderful the mind of a child is.”

“Do or do not. There is no try.”

— Master Yoda, Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back

This week many people in the USA, including myself, will proudly “fly the geek flag” and wish others tongue in cheek albeit wholeheartedly that “force be with them”. We will collectively rewatch and requote our favorite scenes, players, and quotes. We will collectively take to social media in support of  Star Wars and its forward thinking universe and characters. Thursday, May 4th is Star Wars Day and I’m counting down. Especially since this year marks the passing of the uber-insightful and talented Carrie Fisher, who has immortalized beloved Princess Leia for generations to come.

Star Wars Day is a day of widespread fond, avid, and vocal commemoration of a cultural touchstone which has universally affected the Theory of Mind i.e. the “inner landscape” of people from different generations and different parts of world. It is a non-denomination day that should make us think seriously about ourselves and others. It should make us hit our inner “pause” button and take stock of our values and ambitions; especially as professional women in the iEra i.e. the age of the startup and mass networking thanks to our growing symbiotic relationship with technology. Star Wars provides a relatable story regarding The Hero’s Journey , famous quotes inspiring one to hone their own communication and artistry, lessons in creativity and productivity, and takeaways regarding mentorship and one’s career and career goals.

It in any wonder May 4th is on my blogger radar?

To date, this diverse, deceptively simple interwoven and ongoing saga has provided much fodder for academics, “growth-hackers“, ethicists,  and behavioral psychologists,  as well as those in business and the entrepreneurship arena. This powerful, moving  tale of taking sides in the war of Good vs. Evil, and the pursuit of Answers, Truth, and Personal Growth, has been instrumental to many of us trying to pursue purpose not just profit, maintain a sense of humor in the midst of challenge and adversity, and hone our skill set to foster our own  empowerment and  leadership acumen.

So what have I learned from Star Wars? 

A lot actually, beginning with the complex, nuanced, and wonderfully depicted relationships between Luke and Yoda, Leia and Han Solo, Anakin and Padme, Rey and Finn (A Force Awakens),  and Imwe and Malbus (Rogue One).

I also learned all about the 3 Es:

I learned all about the importance of the 3 Es; something I keep in mind when I’m writing, speaking, and working with children with Autism/special needs and their families/service providers:

Educate others using your own talents and trials by fire

Entertain others while providing necessary takeaways and constructive criticism

Encourage change in yourself before demanding it of others, and be patient and unafraid to fail along the way

What additional 4 takeaways can I share in honor of 5/4/17?

We are all interconnected. We all have opportunities in our personal and professional lives to think “We” instead of “Me” and act on it. To create a seamless, user-friendly, collaborative and self-sustaining ecosystem that benefits others; economically, educationally, physically, emotionally, and geographically. Cross-pollination collaboration and cultural shifts at the workplace are happening, need to happen more, and need to happen right now. So get out there in real space and cyberspace and connect more meaningfully and authentically! 

We are all storytellers and characters in someone’s story, and our Story is fluid and ongoing. We all have opportunities in our personal and professional lives to create our Story, reverse engineer it,  and ensure that the information is made readily and unobtrusively accessible. We are all in the “driver’s seat” of our own Millenium Falcon– our Story; how it proceeds; its wording shared with others, its chapters, its routines, breaks from said routines, attempts to reboot them, and recollections of lessons and interactions from those we meet along the way. So make it a good one, and keep moving forward to add pages!

We are all able to better harness time, to create a better workflow, a better balance at home/work between Process and Outcome. We all have the opportunity to reduce our multi-tasking to truly  “live in the moment” and honor the Journey, not just the End Destination, should we so choose. We all have an “inner time clock” allowing us to transition as needed, and intuitively understand the importance of breaking down every process into three components; beginning, middle, and end. This is an area of difficulty for children with Autism; something I wrote about previously here and here.  We all have innate strengths and skills we can harness, to better harness time. To better harness outcomes for the greater good, and contribute to the process of improving problem-solving en masse. Collaboration re: problem-solving and innovation, and subsequently getting your “fifteen minutes of fame” for your cause has never been easier.  Thanks to our myriad social media feeds and global connectivity, we can more efficently and effectively identify and connect with our “tribe”. Know your place and time. Timing is everything as they say. Not all trends and/or current events are “triggers” for you to change trajectory, or branding of self/service for that matter. So don’t just say– do, and stay on your time-table! Make sure you are being productive, not just busy!

We are all indebted to a power greater than ourselves, and we need to honor that. How? By living with integrity. By living in passion of our beliefs. By striving towards the ability to independently “connect the dots” for greater self-awareness and growth; personally and professionally. We live in an age of instant gratification and reinvention on so many levels, where we change our minds, our circle of friends and “influencers”, our geographical location, careers, and even marriage partners, much more frequently and nonchalantly than our parents did. Getting bogged down in the “change the channel” mindset and minutiae of our daily lives can lead us to myopic thinking contributing to “tunnel-vision” beliefs about our own achievements. We often forget the Big Picture, including those who helped us along the way. So retain your core mission and values, be mindful that nothing is coincidental– not even those who cross your path, and be grateful for what you have been given. 

May “The Fourth” Be with You!

Best,

Penina

  May “The Fourth” Be with You! This post appears simultaneously on LinkedIn....... "You have your moments. Not many of them, but you do have them."

[opportunistic-chicanery]

@hannah-the-small

"So it's the two of us lucky ducks left on the bench while the rest get to have their pick of bone brains to bash," Hacker sneered as glanced down Earth infant at his feet. Alexander's daughter? Future snack? Not really any of his business. He didn't even really get why he was the one left on child care duty.

If he'd had his way, he would've been out there with the rest of them, blasting away skeletons with his disco laser. If only it hadn't run out of batteries. Or he could find a socket to plug it into.

He turned to the window as a stray bone came flying in. "Can you fetch?" he asked, picking up the femur and waving it about.

[mystiicalmess]

HEADCANON: RFA and MC died, and meet again in their reincarnated life.

aka the headcanons no one asked for.

the prominent religion in Korea is Buddhism, and they teach reincarnation. 

i divided up each one into three sections: how they died, in the tearoom & how they met again

how they died: as the title states, how they died in the tearoom: the place where they met once more before going to the afterlife/reincarnation how they met again: in their second life

Yoosung:

how they died:

he died happily of old age after a long life with MC

they had a great long life!!!

he retired to a home in the countryside

their dog was named Lucky

they made apple pie using freshly picked apples from their tree backyard every week

*gross sobbing*

But Yoosung knew MC’s death was approaching soon

she was tired more than usual

and Lucky cuddled with her more

then came the day when MC passed away peacefully surrounded by her children and grandchildren

he held her hand until that time came, just whispering about anything

but she was too tired to talk too loudly

he passes away too a day later

their eldest child reads an eulogy at their funeral about how they were always star crossed lovers

a match made in heaven

*gross sobbing pt. 2*

in the tearoom: 

he lived a good life

he met the love of his life

had children

grandchildren

he only wished that the time was longer

as the reaper brought them their tea, he held onto mc’s hand 

his only wish was for them to be together in heaven and the next life

how they meet again:

honestly yoosung was thinking of suicide

he’s been raging on LOLOL all night and completely forgot about the midterm paper that was due in less than three hours!!!!

he quickly exited LOLOL and ran to the school library

laments his pitiful life over empty cans of Red Bull and sitting in front of his blank computer screen

sobs (4x)

it was only when he saw another girl on three computers down from him sobbing too

he recognized her from his class

what was she doing at the library at four in the morning

“Yoosung?”

“haha nice to see u here”

“is it that paper for Professor Lee?”

ohmY GOD DID YOU PROCRASTINATE TOO?!?!

Zen:

how they died:

all dat smoking and drinking will catch up to u

zen had lung cancer

death was imminent 

they spent their last days being together

he wasn’t going to live his last days in chemotherapy and in constant pain especially when his chance for survival was low

mc used her savings to take a vacation in new york

saw all the broadway shows in one week

but evidently and of course, zen did die

although mc did bore a child with him- a daughter like he always wanted

she raised their daughter

she lived a long life

looking after her daughter, grandchildren, and expecting great-grandchildren

mc died of old age

 in the tearoom:

mr reaper said that zen was on his way to the tea room

and thus, mc met zen one more time

the first time in seventy years

he told her she still looked beautiful even after the years took a toll on her

she cried as he still looked young and beautiful

and he asked her to watch broadway shows with him in heaven once more

just until they moved onto their next life

how they met again:

zen was thinking of becoming an actor

it was his calling

but nah

he settled to become a doctor

a pulmonologist

honestly a fancy word for lung doctor

but zen was flashy like that

the schooling was goddamn terrible to say the least

he did graduate though and land a residency at Seoul National University Hospital

only one of the best hospitals in Korea

one day at work they get an emergency patient for pneumonia

her fever reached fricking 40C

they quickly stabilized her

and he was chosen to shadow the doctor monitoring her health though

fuck yea

a good paying job while watching over this insanely cute girl

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Jaehee:

how they died:

she and mc retired to a beach house

forty years working for the coffee shop was good enough

they passed the shop onto their daughter

they took walks together on the beach every morning

mc made pancakes every sunday morning

it was a happy retirement

just living life peacefully 

but there’s a saying that old people know when their death is approaching

jaehee went to bed one night when it suddenly struck her

she knew

she put on her best clothes

brushed her white hair

and sprayed a bit of perfume on her wrist before sitting in the rocking chair when she passed

mc continued on for another couple months before passing on too from a broken heart.

in the tearoom:

when mc died, jaehee was there to walk with her to heaven

the stairway was long

its better to have a companion

it would be just like their daily walks along the shoreline

mr reaper commented on how nice it was

sometimes, deceased people come to the tearoom to meet with their beloved again

but never arrive as they lost their way

jaehee and mc walked hand in hand up the stairway

the walk was long but felt too short in each others presence.

how they met again:

maybe jaehee didn’t get along well with her other classmates

it wasn’t her fault that stupid eunbi wouldn’t give her the red crayon

she pouted her big chubby cheeks, sulking in the corner

“jaehee!”

jaehee looked up and saw the grinning mc

she knew this girl

mc, the one known for always getting into scuffles with the other kids

even now, mc had twigs and leaves stuck in her hair, her once pretty green shirt now ripped and torn

mc offered a red crayon with a toothless grin

“draw with me!”

Jumin:

how they died:

they were young

jumin took her out to a special evening- a special dinner just between the two of them

but the night was pouring and he should have paid more attention on the road

it was one careless mistake that cost him her life

he woke up in the hospital, hooked up to the iv, dazed and in confusion

his father was asleep in a nearby chair

but his mind immediately thought of mc, as he stumbled out of bed walking out of the room only gripping onto the iv stand for support

he wasn’t as stupid as the movies- ripping out an iv cord was not smart

better bring it along

luckily mc was in the room next to him

unluckily he got there just as the doctors gently pulled up a white sheet over her face

then he saw red

he lunged for the nearest doctor, ripping out his iv cord in the process

“how could you pronounce an alive person dead?!”

tears flooded his eye, grabbing onto mc’s hand

he was losing a lot of blood by now

“please don’t leave me...”

but jumin soon recovered and went home

it felt emptier without mc

buried himself into work

until on a day where it was nice enough

on a day where it was beautiful enough

on a day where she would have been shining wonderfully

he crashed his car into a streetlamp

to finish what he started

in the tearoom:

he wandered as a ghost for years

his regret carried over, and ghosts cannot move on without letting go

jumin watched the times tick on, eventually become an urban legend

the man who brought red roses to a grave of a girl who’s been dead for over a hundred and fifty years

the same man

every year

on the same date

a day came though when he went to the tearoom

those who commit suicide cannot go to heaven or be reincarnated

they are only reborn as grim reapers themselves

how they met again:

jumin had lost all his memories of his past life the day he became a grim reaper

but being a grim reaper wasn’t easy

he still had to eat like a normal human

he still had to sleep like a normal human

he still had to get a house like a normal human

and then he met her

she was shining beautifully in the winter snow

his new landlord

she laughed at his oblivious nature

and he hadn’t even realized he fell in love

but she was a human and he was a reaper

a love not meant to be

but perhaps when his penance was over, they could meet again in their next life

Saeyoung: 

how they died:

he was dangerous

he should have known

and yet she still took the bullet for him when the hacker from another agency found him

he took her in his arms and ran as fast as he could to the hospital

she was as weightless as a feather

and his legs ran faster than he ever would in his entire life

he screamed for the doctors as he arrived, not even realizing he was crying

he stayed with her the entire night

but she only woke up once

“I’m sorry, my love...”

and passed away

to the mc who brought light to his life

who was always radiantly grinning

he stood at mapo bridge, suicide bridge, gasping for air

when she died he did the only thing he knew how to do- run

he sobbed for his lost love, gripping tightly onto his chest

saeyoung screamed at God

he devoted his life to the church and yet this was how it turned out.

at the tearoom:

saeyoung wandered the earth like jumin

those who committed suicide were sinners

they threw away god’s gift of life

he avoided mc’s grave and everything to be associated with her

he didn’t deserve her

but he tried to be a happy ghost

pranking yoosung

sneaking into jumin’s apartment for elizabeth

but time caught up to them and they all died

some even reincarnated with no memories of him

he was left all alone

in a world without time

but then god called him out of his punishment to receive another

become a reaper and lead other deceased souls to the afterlife

never being able to go there on his own.

how they met again:

reapers are tormented souls with no memories of their past life

but they know one thing

they committed a ‘grave sin’ to become one

saeyoung was too afraid to find out what his sin was

even though all of their sin were the same

no one knew that

he lead many to the afterlife happily

but some led evil lives and he had to make some adjustments

he met mc in a large scale bus accident 

the city bus had collided into another car

in which another car crashed head on into the accident scene

and many more

a tragic loss of deaths

he and his colleagues were taking one soul each

and he took mc

“MC, 19 years old, born 20XX on XX, died in a bus accident. can you confirm?”

but she was too scared of death and ran away

in which case he had to file a missing soul paperwork, and had to find her himself

but he found out about his past life and his ‘grave sin’ when looking into her own past life

maybe in a different timeline

they would meet again in a different circumstance

but for now, he watched her live her life as an immortal ghost

as he was an immortal reaper

forever peacefully, watching in a world where time had stopped for the both of them.

[entergamingxp]

DualShockers’ Favorite Games of 2019 — Ben’s Top 10

December 29, 2019 4:00 PM EST

From games like Apex Legends to The Outer Worlds, 2019 proved to me that there were a huge variety of games to enjoy across all genres.

As 2019 comes to a close, DualShockers and our staff are reflecting on this year’s batch of games and what were their personal highlights within the last year. Unlike the official Game of the Year 2019 awards for DualShockers, there are little-to-no-rules on our individual Top 10 posts. For instance, any game — not just 2019 releases — can be considered.

I’m not really sure where to begin with 2019. It’s a year I’ve certainly grown a hated for, and the gaming landscape has been incredibly volatile at times. We’ve seen the Sekiro discourse send a barrage of abuse towards both disabled gamers and journalists. We’ve seen a well-known publisher hold an AMA on 4Chan. We’ve seen E3 doxx nearly every journalist that has attended the event.

However, amongst the dark days we’ve had some great games come out in 2019, and I’ve been enjoying a handful of games I never would have experienced if it wasn’t for Xbox Game Pass. I’ve also been front and center in helping to direct change to how video games are made more accessible for players, but more on that at a later date.

So, here’s my top 10 list of games that I’ve been enjoying in 2019.

10. The Outer Worlds 

Originally this title from Obsidian Interactive was going to be higher up on my list, but after pondering on it I realized that it doesn’t entirely deserve to go too high. I enjoyed it, I completed it, I gushed about it for numerous weeks, and I found Parvati, a video game character I adored. But while I really enjoyed the game, it started to become a chore even thinking about picking it back up and trying to go through it all again. The combat felt groggy, the side-quests were a bit naff, and it wasn’t much of a broad open-world as I initially expected.

Saying that though, I did find the writing between the companions and the main storyline characters incredibly engaging and enjoyable to sit through. I liked how the acting reflected wonderfully on dialogue options I chose, and as a result, I found myself heavily engrossed in the story right up until the end where it told me the fate of those on my team that I may have neglected somewhat. The brilliant writing was enough for The Outer Worlds to have left an incredibly positive impression on me.

Check out DualShockers‘ review for The Outer Worlds.

9.  The Orange Box

I’m going to cheat a bit here. Earlier in 2019, I went through Portal for the hell of it; another journey through Valve’s puzzler with portals and an evil robot that sings about cake. I’ve played it God knows how many times and it still never gets old. I also jumped on Team Fortress 2 when news sparked up about the game no longer being supported by Valve for the time being. Hearing the news sent me down a nostalgic trip from my many hours spent with it. Returning to it was somewhat heart-warming to be back in the world, but at the same time heart-breaking that it seems riddled with hackers now. Despite that, it was still brilliant to go back.

With Half-Life: Alyx being revealed, I wanted to spark up my memories of the Half-Life world again. So I booted up Half-Life 2, Half-Life 2: Episode One, and then managed to get through Half-Life 2: Episode Two before becoming busy with this journalism lark. Safe to say, The Orange Box is by far my favorite collection of games that will always remain fun to play no matter how many years have passed, even now in 2019.

8. Ape Out

Devolver Digital’s crazy ooh-ah-ah game was one I enjoyed for hours, and still find myself picking it up every now and again. The gameplay was challenging at best, and had a soundtrack that reacted to the combat which kept me wanting to keep the fight going at all costs, even if it meant bleeding out everywhere. The sounds of the punches, gunfire, and limbs splattering were all of high-quality and kept Ape Out feeling more like a large-scale action flick rather than a small indie title.

The art style was also something I found to be the most memorable; it had a clash of gritty textures that seemed to blend in well with the vibrant orange ape. The harder modes for a bigger challenge were also incredibly frustrating but were always tempting for that “one more go” mentality. The one that stood out the most to me was the mode in which you have to break back into the place from which you escaped, but you’ve only got one life. The Metroidvania twist here left me with hours of extra fun trying to beat it.

Check out DualShockers review for Ape Out.

7. Stardew Valley

Stardew Valley is a game that I’ve always wanted to play, but one I never got round to until I got the Switch. Stardew Valley is one of those games that seems perfect for portability; I’ve always enjoyed relaxing games in which you can do simple things such as farming, but the pixel art style adds to the aesthetic that I found myself being drawn towards. I particularly enjoy the music combined with the gentle sounds of nature flittering through the world. Eventually, I found myself putting it down for a good few months, and it’s always sat there beckoning me to play it again.

It wasn’t until recently when I heard there was a new update for it that I picked it back up and jumped into an entirely new game, deleting my old farm. Upon doing so, I’ve rejuvenated my love for it and I’m glad I’m back on the scene for it. My only question is, will I continue enjoying it when Animal Crossing: New Horizons comes out, or will I abandon it for a town of overly happy animals? Time will tell.

6. Hellblade: Senua’s Sacrifice

Thank you Xbox Game Pass; if it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have finally tried Hellblade: Senua’s Sacrifice. Originally, I never picked the game up because I didn’t think I’d enjoy it. There was no reason, in particular, it just didn’t draw me in. However, all the talk of how it represents mental health and how the graphics are stunning was enough for me to download it and try it out. I was blown away. The binaural sound design is really quite something to behold, especially with a good set of headphones. The character animations are lovely and the combat felt heavy and impactful.

I wasn’t a fan of the Metroidvania-theme that lingers throughout the game, but it certainly adds to the tension of trying to stay alive just so you don’t have to go through it all again. It’s certainly a game I’ve had a great time with, and am still enjoying playing it now as we wait for the sequel to arrive with the Xbox Series X.

Check out DualShockers‘ review for Hellblade: Senua’s Sacrifice.

5. Tetris 99

I’ve always been a fan of Tetris, the old version and any modern-at-the-time iterations. When Tetris 99 was announced, I won’t lie, I groaned: “Ugh, another Battle Royale attempt.” Little did I know that I grew to love it almost instantly. The matches can be quick, some can be lengthy and challenging. Some can be frustrating and some can leave me cocky and proud. I had started to grow fed up of it being constantly online though, and while I don’t agree that the single-player mode is locked behind a paywall, I paid for it.

The Big Blocks DLC is actually great, allowing me to play it with friends on the same system without needing to worry about 97 other players battling against us. The marathon mode is also addictive, with me racking up over 500 lines in one match. The fact that the game is still sporting a good deal of players online is also fantastic because whenever I want to jump online and play it, there’s always players there to fill 99 slots.

Check out DualShockers‘ review for Tetris 99.

4. Sea of Thieves

Sea of Thieves is still my all-time pirate game, even in 2019. I still get a lot of satisfaction from it, especially when it comes to just hanging out and having fun with friends or family. There’s always something to find, quests to do, and enemy ships to battle, but not only that, the game is continually being supported with more and more updates. These updates bring small changes and some big changes, such as the addition of fire which I find devastatingly good fun. I can’t get enough of the game, and while sailing alone can be boring, it’s still somewhat relaxing and a lovely escape from life.

Check out DualShockers‘ review for Sea of Thieves.

3. Rocket League

Okay, the new Blueprints update has kind of angered the community, and I myself am annoyed that all the items I was planning to trade are now suddenly not tradable. But it goes without saying, Rocket League is still one of my favourite titles, specifically on the Switch. I used to play it on PC, then I switched to Xbox, but I’ve found myself more comfortable with it on the Switch due to the portability and being able to lounge around while knocking my balls around (you know what I mean).

What I most enjoy about the game though is the full cross-platform play that allows me to enjoy it with friends and family on different platforms. It’s an absolute godsend and keeps the game thriving with players.

2. The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt

I just can’t not have a year where I don’t pick this game up. Now it’s getting even harder to ignore despite being several years old because it’s being re-released on everything. It landed on the Nintendo Switch and sparked up the whole hype surrounding it again, then just as the chatter dies down, it heads over to Xbox Game Pass too. In addition to that, the Netflix series went live this month, making 2019 a pretty big year for The Witcher fans.

I still love jumping into the game, whether it’s to carry on with my quests I still haven’t completed, or to wander the expansive world for no reason but exploration, or to just take photos with Nividia Ansel. I’ve also found myself starting the game from scratch earlier this year because I forgot where I was, but this meant I got to experience the brilliant missions towards the start of the game, especially those with the Bloody Baron. It’s a game I don’t think I’ll ever tire of.

Check out DualShockers‘ review for The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt.

1. Apex Legends

A surprise favorite of mine. I tried getting into other Battle Royale games such as PUBG, Fortnite, Battlefield V‘s Firestorm mode, etc, but none have stuck with me. It wasn’t until Respawn Entertainment’s Apex Legends hooked me. I love nearly everything about it; the art is lovely, the way it feels to play is fluid, and the Ping system is revolutionary with me not even needing to use a headset to communicate.

The game has done well for itself since launch. While lately it has been slow on updating the game with new content, eventually the developers caught up and started introducing quality content over quantity. It’s a game I keep wanting to play, a game I continually enjoy despite dying so many times I fear my team despises me, and a game that I hope continues to be supported and inspires more multiplayer games to incorporate a Ping system.

Check out the rest of the DualShockers staff Top 10 lists and our official Game of the Year Awards:

December 23: DualShockers Game of the Year Awards 2019 December 25: Lou Contaldi, Editor-in-Chief // Logan Moore, Managing Editor December 26: Tomas Franzese, News Editor // Ryan Meitzler, Features Editor  December 27: Mike Long, Community Manager // Scott White, Staff Writer December 28: Chris Compendio, Contributor // Mario Rivera, Video Manager // Kris Cornelisse, Staff Writer December 29: Scott Meaney, Community Director // Allisa James, Senior Staff Writer // Ben Bayliss, Senior Staff Writer December 30: Cameron Hawkins, Staff Writer // David Gill, Senior Staff Writer // Portia Lightfoot, Contributor December 31: Iyane Agossah, Senior Staff Writer // Michael Ruiz, Senior Staff Writer // Rachael Fiddis, Contributor January 1: Ricky Frech, Senior Staff Writer // Tanner Pierce, Staff Writer

December 29, 2019 4:00 PM EST

from EnterGamingXP https://entergamingxp.com/2019/12/dualshockers-favorite-games-of-2019-bens-top-10/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=dualshockers-favorite-games-of-2019-bens-top-10

[radiofreefandom]

TRANSCRIPT: Episode 201 – Undead Heist Crew with Jenny Hamilton

Claire: Hello, and welcome back to Radio Free Fandom, the podcast where my guests and I get down and nerdy about the media and stories that we love. Welcome to Season 2! Because we have seasons now, because podcasts are hard to make. You can’t make them every two weeks. It’s hard! So we have seasons, this is season 2, it’s going to come out every week for fifteen weeks. And I am so, so excited about the line-up of episodes that I’ve got for you folks, it’s going to be awesome. So as you’ve probably guessed this is Season 2 episode 1, I am still Claire, and my guest today is Jenny. For those of you who don’t know Jenny, or who didn’t hear Jenny’s previous episodes, she is a blogger and podcaster at Reading the End, and a diehard fan of Black Sails, her toddler godson, and the New Orleans Saints. Did I say that right?

Jenny: Yeah, that was perfect, that was amazing!

Claire: OK good, I was worried! Today we are going to celebrate the podcast’s glorious return to the land of the living by talking about our fav undead creatures and monsters, and then we’ll squee about stuff that we loved in the last… six months or so since we spoke to you, dear listeners!

[Music break]

Claire: Welcome back to the show Jenny, I’m so glad to have you back for the start of this new season!

Jenny: I’m so excited to be here, and I’m so excited to hear the other episodes you’ve got lined up, because like, what I’ve heard you talk about so far sounds amazing.

Claire: Well, we’ll have a bit more of a teaser in the recommendations segment later in the episode. But, let’s start with talking about the undead! Why do we love them?! And then, we’re going to play a game, which was Jenny’s idea, and was the best of the best ideas.

Jenny: I’m so excited!

Claire: So the undead – we kind of had to figure out what we meant by ‘the undead’, like, just zombies, just vampires, immortal people, people who’ve died? What’s the criteria here, for something to qualify as the undead?

Jenny: So yeah, the only criterion that I applied, is that they had to have died and come back to life in some way. So whether that was zombies or vampires, obviously those count, but also, for instance Harry Potter counts, because he’s died and then come back to life. I mean, in my line-up I decided not to just include immortals, they had to have died, so no Wolverine, but, you know, who cares, so. (Laughs)

Claire: That is also the rule that I went by, and before we get too much further into that, let’s talk about the line-ups that we’re going to do. I’m going to let you introduce it, because it’s such a brilliant idea.

Jenny: OK, so my idea was – I’ve been watching a lot of Leverage, as we are going to discuss – but, so I wanted to have us each invent a caper crew, with seven positions, and then we would each have to draft a fictional undead character to fill each of those positions, and comprise our full caper crew.

Claire: And this is great to me, because I also love Leverage, but I feel like I wasn’t really into heists before Leverage, I haven’t really been into heists as a specific type of story, but it’s wonderfully tropey, is a heist, isn’t it?

Jenny: Yes, very, yes!

Claire: So do we want to start by talking about the roles that we’re going to recruit for our caper crew, and we basically took them from TV Tropes.

Jenny: Yeah, and we picked the most interesting positions, and I feel good about where we landed.

Claire: Yes, although I did change one of them a tiny bit so it was more like Leverage, but we’ll get into that.

Jenny: (Laughs) I have no complaints to make about that.

Claire: OK, Good. So the first job that we’re going to be looking at is the Mastermind. The Mastermind is the leader, the person that gathers the crew, finds the targets, calls the shots, thinks of the plan, and basically, in Leverage, which is going to be the ur-text for this, right?

Jenny: Yes, yes

Claire: The Mastermind is like, supposedly the main character, although I personally think that Nate is very boring and shouldn’t be the main character, but whatever.

Jenny: Yeah.

Claire: The idea of the Mastermind is a person that’s able to change the plan on the fly if something goes wrong, which is kind of what I went for more specifically when I chose my Mastermind, so, do you want to reveal yours first or shall I go?

Jenny: I can go! Because I’m really excited about my Mastermind. OK, so, you had said in your notes for this podcast that it was someone who could keep a bunch of immoral people in line, but I’ve gone a different direction.

Claire: Nice!

Jenny: I tried to escape from this outcome, but everyone I cast as the Mastermind was less good than my first thought, which was Katherine Pierce from the Vampire Diaries. She’s the only undead character I could think of who has the right combination of intelligence, initiative, and passion for contingency plans. I think she’d be great at planning for every eventuality. I do think she would mostly want to do evil plans, but I think I’ve got a team that mostly has a strong moral compass and ultimately could keep her on the straight and narrow. Basically, Katherine is just incredibly smart. On The Vampire Diaries sometimes she is outsmarted, but that is by like, the collective intelligence of two Salvatores and Elena, and those are all pretty smart people, so I think she’d be great as the Mastermind. Who did you pick?

Claire: My first pick was literally just a bad joke, I was literally going to say it should be Jon Snow, because he died and came back to life and he’s as boring as Nate, right.

Jenny: (Laughs) That’s pretty good, that’s funny.

Claire: My actual pick is Jack Skellington from Nightmare Before Christmas, because the man has grand ideas. Like, sometimes they don’t work great, but he is going to go out there and organise stuff. He’s going to go to this random new place he doesn’t know and have an idea and be like, alright, we’re doing it, and get it all done. And then, when stuff doesn’t work, he will come up with a way to fix it, which I thought was important for the Mastermind as well.

Jenny: Yeah, oh absolutely I agree, that’s a very good pick, I like it.

Claire: Thank you, thank you thank you. Yeah I’m sorry, I haven’t actually seen the Vampire Diaries, so I can’t —

Jenny: Oh, it’s really great, it’s so great, you should watch it one time.

Claire: MM-kay, one time – isn’t that show really long?

Jenny: Yeah, but I think if you just wanted to get a sense of it, you could just watch the first two seasons, because that’s when it’s like, peak itself. Or if you just wanted to watch the first three, that would also be fine.

Claire: Fair enough, fair enough.

Jenny: OK, so the next position on our caper crew is the one that I found the hardest to cast.

Claire: Oh my God, same.

Jenny: It’s yeah, which is Tech Support. This is the hacker, and provider of gadgets, who builds what you need to get into vault security, hacks into computers, and does all that kind of stuff. Turns out there’s not a lot of undead techy types, so I’m really interested to hear what you came up with, Claire.

Claire: Right, there’s a lot of fantasy undead things, but not a lot of sci-fi undead things. I struggled a lot, I had a lot of like, this is a real stretch but I might have to go for this. In the end, I kind of talked it through with friend of the podcast Susan, who was extremely helpful, and what we in the end landed on is Breq, who was the Justice of Toren from Ancillary Justice. Now I want to say straight away, this is my biggest stretch for someone who died and came back to life. But, the Justice of Toren was a massive spaceship, with a bunch of ancillary bodies, who themselves had basically been braindead, and then like, been brought back as corpses to serve, blah blah blah. And then the Justice of Toren gets blown up, and Breq is like, the conscience of the Justice of Toren in just one body. So I think I’m going to give it to myself. Breq used to be an artificial intelligence in a spaceship, so like, she can do the thing. Breq is the only person that I thought of that wasn’t like an absolute stretch for this in terms of being able to actually do tech support.

Jenny: Actually, as you were speaking I changed my choice.

Claire: Oh dear!

Jenny: I just changed my choice just now. Well because, OK, I’ll tell you my thought process. The first person I thought of, the only undead character I could think of who was remotely in the STEM discipline was Liv from iZombie, but she really doesn’t do tech support, that’s not her thing, she’s a medical person.

Claire: No, I know.

Jenny: And then my second thought was, OK, one of the X-Men, like, all the X-Men die and come back to life, so I was like Beast, surely.

Claire: Yeah, comic, anyone in a comic book, I’m not going to go and check, they’ve probably died and come back to life.

Jenny: Right, well, but I’m committed to the integrity of the system, so I did go and check.

Claire: I know, I know you are.

Jenny: And I swear to god, every X-Man except for Beast has died and come back to life.

Claire: Oh, I’m so sorry.

Jenny: I looked and looked, I couldn’t find anything. So I was going to land on Jean Grey, but I have just this moment changed my mind. And I’m instead going to choose Jedao from Yoon Ha Lee’s Ninefox Gambit.

Claire: Yes! This was Susan’s first idea, but I haven’t read it, and I felt very uncomfortable citing something I hadn’t read. And I care about the integrity of the system so we looked for something else.

Jenny: Yeah, so I feel really good about this! Jedao used to live inside his body and that body has died so I think it counts. They kept his consciousness alive on ice, but I still think it counts as having been dead.

Claire: No, I think it counts. I mean, I mostly think it counts because I had it as a backup myself.

(Both Laugh)

Jenny: Well, and I did think about him as a Mastermind, but the reason I didn’t want him as the Mastermind is that he doesn’t really trust himself as a Mastermind. So, I think that in the Tech Support role he could use his brilliance, but he wouldn’t be in charge of people’s lives, and I think that would be a relief to him.

Claire: Well, I feel like Hardison would be insulted by this, not being in charge of people’s lives.

Jenny: I just mean not being a leader of men, he did some bad stuff when he was a leader of men, so I think, you know.

Claire: No that’s fair, that’s fair. That’s the only thing I know about this series, is that Jedao did a lot of bad stuff before.

Jenny: He did, he did, yes. But he’s very brilliant, he’s techy, I think he would do great at both hacking and building gadgets. Wow, I’m so excited I thought of this just now!

Claire: Yeah, I think that really works.

Jenny: Oh man, so good.

Claire: Great, amazing! The next role we have down is the con-person, slash the grifter. So in Leverage, that’s a woman called Sophie, or maybe not Sophie, we don’t really know. But the TV Tropes thing says, they do most of the conning, acting, and people-manipulating, which is quite important, and they use confidence tricks. And obviously they might also have to go and be a mole, or be bait, or be distractions if they need to do that.

Jenny: Okay. I love my pick for this, I think that the con-person, it’s helpful if they have a background in the theatre, and they also need to be hot and charming, so I chose the vampire Lestat from the Interview With a Vampire books by Anne Rice.

Claire: That’s fair! (Laughs)

Jenny: Isn’t that good?

Claire: Yeah, that’s quite good.

Jenny: He’s like, he’s flashy and vain and charming, he has been an actor and a musician, which means that he’s like, at ease as a performer, he can also, he’s bisexual, so he can romance people of any gender, and I think that he would just be a real asset to the crew.

Claire: Yeah, that’s fair. I went with Liv as iZombie, specifically because, it’s a plotpoint in iZombie that when Liv eats the brain of a person with specific knowledge or specific urges or personality or whatever, she gets that. So, my idea of that would be like, if Liv wasn’t confident in herself to be the grifter who could do a particular job, then she could like, tap back to the time that she ate that one brain that would be really great for that. Or, they could just have a library of brains on ice, that had like, the right, you know. I mean I’m going way more evil with this. Just like, we’re just going to keep a bunch of brains, just in case.

Jenny: That is pretty evil, but I like it.

Claire: Or, she could just have the brain of the vampire Lestat, on ice.

Jenny: I didn’t really imagine our teams going up against each other, but watch it missy.

Claire: OK, fair enough, fair enough.

Jenny: OK, so our next position is the pickpocket slash cat burglar. So, this is the one with the steadiest hands, who can perform any kind of job requiring sleight-of-hand, like stealing security cards. Claire wrote in our notes, “the one most likely to descend from the ceiling via a series of cables, or manoeuvre around a laser grid”. Fantastic.

Claire: I mean, that’s also from TV Tropes, but I wanted that in there because that’s my favourite thing about the cat burglar as like, you know, a type, a trope of character, like. Just the competency with which they can do that particular thing. Obviously competency porn is a really important aspect of any type of heist story, but the cat burglar really gets me. I’m, I’m so excited about this pick!!!

Jenny: (Laughs) Oh my

Claire: I picked Death from the Discworld. Because canonically, people do not notice Death, people make sure to avoid to notice Death, because it’s very uncomfortable to look at Death. Now, only children and cats and witches and wizards will notice Death, right. So you just need to make sure you’re not trying to pickpocket some witches or wizards, and just try to make sure that you get the children out of the way, so that no one says like, “who’s this person descending a wire?” or whatever. And then, also, death is so old and all-encompassing, that basically like, walls or things that are less than five million centuries old or whatever, that has no bearing on him and his person. He can just like, walk through walls. Which, on the one hand, I feel like, I’m a little sad because, you know, Parker didn’t go through the process of undoing this entire safe, and unlocking all the things and whatever, just for Death to just walk through walls and do the thing, but, it would be efficient.

Jenny: It would be extremely efficient, an asset to any caper crew. I chose John Constantine, from DC Comics. He died and came back to life, that’s kind of his origin story. And he really wants to do good, and I think that’s important because I have a couple of not-so moral people on my team, so I think it’s helpful to have a couple of people with a strong moral compass. Also, canonically he has experience in stage magic, so I think that he would be good at – yeah, so he can do sleight-of-hand, and he’s fun, I think he would be a fun, enjoyable addition to the team.

Claire: That’s really cool.

Jenny: Yeah.

Claire: Now, the next one is the Muscle, and I’m not going to read the TV Tropes description of the Muscle, because it’s all like, “the burly man who’s big”!

Jenny: Boo!

Claire: We all know what the Muscle does, we all know what the Muscle does, the Muscle intimidates, and body-guards, and all that kind of good stuff. Now I’m very curious to hear your pick for the Muscle, because I feel like my pick for the Muscle is my most legit pick of the entire list.

Jenny: Ooh, I’m worried we might, I’m a little worried about this one that we would overlap, and we’d have to fight it out.

Claire: OK, go go go.

Jenny: OK, I chose Buffy the Vampire Slayer —

Claire: Obviously!!! Obviously Buffy Summers, like. OK, fair.

Jenny: Wait, did we, because I have a back-up, I can choose my back-up.

Claire: No no, I don’t think we have to, do we have to, have —

Jenny: No, we can have the same one. They’re imaginary, so it doesn’t matter. Yeah! She’s scrappy, she has experience coping with a lot of bad guys at one time, and I think people would underestimate her because she is petite.

Claire: Yeah, and also, you know, she does have superpowers, basically. She is very strong.

Jenny: She’s very strong, I also, again, I wanted some people on my team who were good people, to keep the bad people in line, and I think that’s Buffy, I think Buffy would not agree to anything that was morally wrong, because she’s a good person, and she really cares about being a good person.

Claire: Yeah. I love how you had a thought about your whole team – like all of my thoughts about this was how to make it fit the actual competence that they can do, and how to make jokes that relate it to Leverage. I feel like your team is going to work a lot more cohesively over all as a lovely found family.

Jenny: Well, I haven’t gotten to my Driver yet, so we’ll see what you think when I get there.

Claire: OK, so, the Getaway Driver, that’s another one that I found a little bit tricky, because again, there’s a lot of fantasy about undead people and not a lot of sci-fi? And so, like.

Jenny: I’m so excited about my choice! Sorry, continue.

Claire: So my thought process behind this was to try and find somebody who could drive a whole bunch of different things? So obviously I went for King Boo from MarioKart, because it’s a driving game, he can drive lots of different things. And he’s a ghost!

Jenny: That is so good!

Claire: Thank you! (Both laugh) I want to hear yours!

Jenny: OK, so mine is the Lord of the Nazgûl, the Witch-king of Angmar —

Claire: Oh, so good!

Jenny: Isn’t that good, I’m so happy about it! He has a baller horse, and an even baller-er flying monster —

Claire: I did consider the Night King from Game of Thrones, because he’s got an undead snow dragon or whatever, but yours is better.

Jenny: Yeah, yeah. He is taciturn, but you don’t want a driver who’s a chatterbox you know? And, moreover, since no man can kill him, you now have a driver who can’t be killed by one entire gender, that’s like, a huge advantage.

Claire: Right, and also, if the thing that you’re stealing is the one ring of power, he does have a satnav built in.

Jenny: So true, so true!

Claire: But just if it’s that.

Jenny: Oh man, that’s amazing.

Claire: And the final place in this crew is something that you suggested.

Jenny: Yeah, so I suggested we have an audience stand-in, so someone who’s new to the biz, and excited to learn how everything works, and they help us, the audience, understand who every member of the crew is and what each of their jobs are and so forth. I kind of made this as like a swing position so that we could just add someone to the team that we like, so Claire, what did you choose for this?

Claire: So I didn’t actually go with like, oh here’s a person that I like that’s missing from this list, what I went with in the end was, who’s a person who would be a good stand-in for the audience? And so what I went with is newly-vampired Bella Swan, because, you know, canonically in the books she doesn’t really have that much of a personality, and it’s not to rag on those books, it’s just she’s a character who exists kind of as a stand-in for the audience anyway. Like, that’s kind of the point of that particular character I think in YA a lot of the time, and she’s made a vampire during the series, so there you go. But I would like to not have Edward or any of the Cullens or Jacob, or her creepy baby in the crew or anywhere near them, they can be her tragic past.

Jenny: Sounds perfect!

Claire: And also my crew now gets to have Kristen Stewart, so it’s now hotter and gayer.

Jenny: Yes, I would like to note I have two canonically bisexual characters on my team – actually no, three, because Jedao is also, as I recall, pansexual. OK, so my audience stand-in, I originally was going to have an X-man character, and then I was like well I can’t have two X-men on the team so I nixed it, and I was going to do Death of the Endless, but since I got rid of my X-men character I’m going back again, and now I will again choose Jubilee from the X-men, because she is young, she is enthusiastic to learn about things. People say she’s a pain in the ass, I think she just has a case of being a young woman in fiction.

Claire: Oh yeah, fair fair.

Jenny: And also, she has her own superpowers, so as she is with the team for longer she could start to take more of a role, and find which department she wants to specialise in, and I think that would be fun to witness also.

Claire: That’s really, really fun!

Jenny: Yeah!

Claire: I was also trying not to have too many people from the same properties, but I was also trying to have a good break down of what creatures people were. I tried to make sure I had a good coverage. So I’ve got a skeleton, I’ve got a spaceship that died and is an AI back to – maybe, I don’t know how to classify Justice of Toren. But, I’ve got a skeleton, I’ve got an AI come back to life, I’ve got a zombie, I’ve got Death, I’ve got someone who died and came back to life, a ghost, and a vampire.

Jenny: That’s very good.

Claire: And the thing I’m proudest of out of all of this is just the spread of undeadiness that I’ve got in there.

Jenny: Yes, you’ve done absolutely brilliantly. I didn’t even think about that, so I’ve got two vampires, two people who came back from the dead… yeah, so mine is a little more mixed.

Claire: But I think yours actually works better in terms of a narrative you could build with it. The other thing that I tried really really hard to do is I tried to pick people for the positions of hacker, thief and muscle, that could be in love. Because obviously I very very strongly care about the Leverage OT3, of the hacker, the thief and the muscle, Parker, Eliot and Hardison. And so I tried that really hard… and I ended up with Breq, Death and Buffy. Which Susan pointed out, that’s at least two people that are like, “what are those feeling things you speak of?!” which works really well with Leverage. I rest my case.

Jenny: That does go really well with Leverage. Mine is, mine doesn’t really work so well, I have, who do I have… I have Jedao, Constantine and Buffy. I just don’t think they would fall in love in the end, I don’t think they would.

Claire: So that was our undead heist caper crew, let us know on Twitter at @Readingtheend and @Radiofreefandom if you agree or disagree with our picks, and if you would pick other people for undead heistiness, and please watch Leverage.

Jenny: So good!

[Music break]

Claire: So for our recommendation segment today, we’re going to talk about stuff that we’ve loved in the break, and that is since about March or April, something like that, so we have a lot of things to cover. Do you want to start us off, Jenny?

Jenny: Yeah, so, there’s no way that you could have predicted I was going to say this, because I have given no indication at all that this is what I’m currently obsessed with, but, I am currently obsessed with Leverage. I started watching it a couple of years ago and I think what went wrong – two things I think went wrong. One, I got distracted because I was not a finisher at that time, and I am a finisher now. Two, I was much less aware of fandom back then, so I don’t think I fully appreciated how super super shippy it is. Which is, very, especially in seasons 4 and 5, which I am now in. And in case you’re not familiar, it’s a heist show, there is a found family of five people, who all have jobs on the heist team, and they love each other and they do crimes to stop the rich from being terrible. And it is so great, it’s the best comfort food, I love it.

Claire: Yeah, I mean I have been watching Leverage and I think I was watching Leverage before the break and already started talking about it. I need to finish Leverage, I need to watch seasons 4 and 5, because I am ready for even more shippiness than earlier in the show. Like literally came to this show from fandom, and didn’t realise that Parker, Hardison, Eliot aren’t the main characters. I literally thought it was a show about Parker, like Parker was the main person —

Jenny: I wish!

Claire: I wish too! But since we’re talking about Leverage now, I need to tell you all that you will hear more about Leverage this season on Radio Free Fandom, because we’re going to have a full Leverage episode later in the series, we’re also going to have episodes about other things that I was talking about before the break and that I am still obsessed with, things like She-Ra and the Princesses of Power, whatever is going on these days in the MCU, also the Hugo Awards. And we’ll be talking about some newer stuff that’s been happening since then, like the juggernaut that’s taken over fandom, Good Omens. As well as the Veronica Mars revival, for good or bad or whatever value of that, we’ll be talking about it.

Jenny: Sounds great, I’m very excited. I’m especially excited obviously about the Leverage episode, and I hope it includes fic recs.

Claire: It definitely definitely will, because, not to spoil too much ahead of time, but Chelsea will be on it.

Jenny: Great, great.

Claire: OK, now that I’ve teased what’s coming up on the podcast a little bit, do you want to tell me your next thing you’ve loved in the break?

Jenny: Yes, I would love to. So, this is actually going to be one of my favourite books of the entire year. Laura Dean Keeps Breaking Up With Me, by Mariko Tamaki and Rosemary Valero-O’Connell. I’m just so high on this book, it’s a YA comic about a girl named Freddy, who’s dating this very flighty, charming unreliable girl called Laura Dean, and Freddy is trying to figure out who she is as a person, and also who she is when she’s in a relationship with Laura Dean. It’s really great for a number of reasons. The art is gorgeous, and I think does a really tremendous job of conveying the characters’ interiority. I also think, and I’ve thought this about Mariko Tamaki’s books in the past, I think it just really clearly remembers what it’s like to be a teenager. And it just felt, I was not the teenager who went out and did parties, which these kids are, but even so, it felt so familiar, it felt so much like what I remembered of being a teenager, and how you just never felt like the ground was solid under you. So that was really great, I also love that it’s about a queer character and she has queer friends, I think that often, if there’s a queer character in YA friends they’ll be the only one among their friend group, which I don’t think is realistic, and also just creates this false sense of isolation around queerness, so I loved seeing her be in a supportive group of friends. And God, it was just great, it was so great, I felt so good when I finished it, I recently reread it, again, and I, again, felt amazing when I finished it. It’s just the best, everyone should read it.

Claire: I’m definitely going to look that up!

Jenny: Oh, it’s so sweet, I think you’ll really love it. It’s so sweet!

Claire: Now, my first pick for this is something that, if anyone’s been following me on social media you’re probably not too surprised, but, it’s the TV show Schitt’s Creek, which. Jenny, if you haven’t seen it, I think you would also like it. The high level pitch is basically that it’s this family of incredibly, incredibly, incredibly wealthy people, who in the first three-minute cold open of the show basically lose their entire fortune because their crooked business manager basically went away to the Bahamas with all their money. And so, they have found themselves with nothing to their name but like a suitcase of belongings, and a town that the dad bought his son as a gift, as a joke, because the town’s name is Schitt’s Creek. So they go to Schitt’s Creek with a suitcase of fabulous clothing each, and they get a room at the local motel, and they have to learn how to have actual life skills, and be a family. The first season is a little bit more shaky, because it’s trying to introduce the thing, and it’s a bit – I think it just takes them a while to figure out exactly what they’re doing. But, it kind of turns into the most gentle, loving ribbing of these people, and the joke is always that they have no life skills, and it’s never at the expense of the people in the town, who are just normal people trying to live their lives. The relationships that it starts to build, the way the characters kind of grow into a loving family is just amazing. And it’s just so kind, and it’s about people trying their hardest, which really really just hits me in the feels.

Jenny: Yeah man, I. So I haven’t watched it yet, all of the internet, like everyone I know is obsessed with this show. The only reason I haven’t is that I’m a finisher now so I’m trying to finish shows I’ve already started. Because, the reason I never finish any goddamn shows is that something like this always comes along, and I’m like ooh, this sounds good!

Claire: Yeah, fair! That’s really fair.

Jenny: And then I’ll watch one season or a season and a half, and then some other thing will be the thing that everyone’s obsessed with, so I like jump ship immediately. So I’m goddamn finishing Leverage, and then I’m going to finish Jane the Virgin, and then I’m going to finish Killjoys, and I think once I’ve done that, then at that point, I can take on something new.

Claire: It would be really sad if you started watching Schitt’s Creek, you got through like season 1 and season 2, and then you stopped when it’s getting like, amazing. It’s good in the early seasons, it just gets really, really, really amazing later in the run of the show. Season 5 is now out, there’s one more coming out, and then it will all be done and then you can watch it when it’s all finished and finish it, because it is so so good, and I love it so much.

Jenny: It’s a half-hour comedy, right?

Claire: Yeah, I think it’s a twenty minute show. Because, I actually had a sleepover at my best friend’s house that was like a craft weekend with her and a couple of other friends of ours, and I showed up and they were watching Schitt’s Creek, and they had started like in the middle of season 3, for people who have seen it they started at the episode where Patrick showed up, and then they had it on the entire time, and so I showed up, and I had said I would cook some food, so I’m cooking some food and not really paying attention to the show, and they’re kind of explaining to me what’s going on with it and what’s happening and who the people are, and by the time I sat down to actually watch it, was the episode where the main couple that I’m now obsessed with get together in the actual show, it has canonical queer representation in the show – this is not a Schitt’s Creek episode! A Schitt’s Creek episode will happen in this season of this very podcast, so I’m going to stop talking about it now and we’re going to talk about your next thing.

Jenny: OK, but I do look forward to watching Schitt’s Creek, and I do think half-hour comedies are easier to binge, so I’m about it.

(Quick break)

Jenny: OK, my next thing is, I signed up for a poem-a-day email, and I’ve really been loving it. I don’t tend to think of myself as a poetry person, partly because a lot of the poetry that I read I don’t like, but what I think is true, and if you’re a poetry person feel free to tell me I’m wrong, but I think it’s the case that you in general will not like most poetry that you read, because poetry is aiming directly for your heart, and so since people have very different hearts, inevitably a lot of poems’ll miss the mark. So doing a poem-a-day subscription has been fantastic, because I get exposed to a really wide range of poets. I originally signed up for the poets.org poem-a-day and it didn’t suit my needs, so now I’m using the Poetry Foundation poem-a-day newsletter, and it’s been great, they have a really nice variety, diversity of voices, a diversity of ages of poems. One that I got that I really liked recently was called ‘Vines’ by Kaveh Akbar, and it has this line in it, he’s talking about his family, and saying some compliment that they’ve given him, and he says, ‘I thank them for that and / for their chromosomes most of which // have been lovely’.

Claire: That’s cute.

Jenny: Yeah, so it’s been really nice, and it’s also just a nice thing to look forward to in the morning, because a poem is short and you can read it real quick. And I feel like I got culture first thing in the morning.

Claire: That’s really lovely, I think I’ve only got a couple of newsletters that I actually read. I very assiduously read the Rec Center when that comes out, I’m sure listeners to this podcast will already know about it because I’ve mentioned it a bunch of times on this show, but the Rec Center is a newsletter for fandom about fandom with fandom recommendations. And, also I really enjoy the Full Lid which is Alasdair Stuart’s newsletter, Alasdair is a friend of mine, and a genuine really good egg, like a very kind person who’s super enthusiastic about things, and it comes out on a Friday when I’m feeling tired and grumpy, and I still have one more day in my week, because I work Tuesdays to Saturdays, so it’s my Thursday which is the worst, and it just always cheers me up.

Jenny: That sounds great! Yeah I love the Rec Center, they had, not to be predictable, but they had a very, very excellent piece of – Claire’s making quite a face – they had a very excellent piece of fanart in the most recent Rec Center newsletter that was of Toby Stephens in Black Sails and my word, it was certainly something.

Claire: I mean, to be fair, I haven’t seen Black Sails yet, but I’m onboard with Toby Stephens is hot because I’m a person that enjoys gentlemen, so.

Jenny: Yeah, I mean, and let me just say, if you already think Toby Stephens is hot, watching Black Sails will be like a whole, it’s like a new dimension in your brain opens up for finding Toby Stephens attractive.

Claire: I know, I know Jenny, but the thing is, it’s such a long show, and it’s going to ruin my feelings, and I can tell it’s going to be the deepest fandom hole that I’ve been in since Les Mis, and I just.

Jenny: What I’m hearing you say is, “Try really hard to convince me Jenny, you will find it rewarding once you do.”

Claire: I mean the thing is I know, it’s not a question of an if, it’s a question of when I have time, but we know that I don’t really do having time.

Jenny: I hear you, oh my gosh, it’s so good. Well, listen listen, here’s the upside. The fandom… I don’t want to say the fandom is trash, but it ships the wrong thing, it’s very wrong, it’s unfortunately extremely wrong, so although I would like to be in the fandom, it’s too wrong for me to be in it. So, I just have the show mainly, and there’s a couple of fics that are really really good, but overall it’s not for me.

Claire: Oh, that’s really sad, I’m so sorry!

Jenny: It is really sad, thank you for understanding!

Claire: My next pick is the novel Red, White & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston. This is a royalty AU fanfic of a book, basically. This is a story about a British prince, and the first son of the United States, he’s the son of the first female president of the US, and he’s a queer latino kid, and he’s in a kind of weird, they don’t talk to each other but they both know they hate each other relationship with the prince of England. And then they go to this reception together and basically get in an argument and inadvertently break some shit, and they have to do a PR stunt that they are best friends, and it was an accident, because they are best friends! And so they are kind of thrown together. And then they start having this really weird friendship that works because of their different positions, basically jobs that they have as public figures, and of course that goes into a romantic relationship. And there are a lot of tropes in this that are, you know if you’re familiar with royalty AUs in fanfic, you will see the same tropes, so I need to give a content warning for characters being outed. If you have read royalty AUs and you’re like, ooh I can imagine how that would happen in a royalty AU, it happens like that. It’s like, the press being shitty basically. So I don’t feel like that’s a massive spoiler because it’s just like, how this very precise subgenre of fanfic that I adore functions. Now, there’s been some controversy around this book about like, the way that it’s being marketed in very much a “this has never been done before!” “this is like YA but better because!” “this is romance but better because!” “It’s never been done before!” … It’s obviously been done before. I saw the title and the blurb and I was like, yep, I know exactly what kind of book it’s going to be and I’m going to love it. I do think it’s a really good book, and obviously the author didn’t come up with the concept of a royalty AU, but it’s a really good example of that genre, and it also has a lot of really lovely stuff about the presidency and politics and campaigning and stuff like that. I wonder if maybe that might be a little bit difficult to read or fraught to read for US readers, because it has stuff about having a female president and how campaigning works and all of that, that I thought, ooh that’s a bit soon, and it’s not even something that I personally have to live with every day, so, you know, eh. I feel like I’m giving too many warnings for this thing that I adore and I think people should read, but, there you go.

Jenny: No, I don’t think you are, that’s just useful, then people know, so they can approach it in the best spirit, I think that’s solid. Yeah, I’m excited to read that book, I keep checking at my library and it’s always checked out, so I just this minute while you were talking put a hold on it, because it does sound really cute and sweet.

Claire: Yay!

Jenny: OK, my next one is Six the Musical, which is a musical about Henry the eighth’s six wives, kind of as if they were the Spice Girls, basically. I did not discover this musical for the first time during podcast hiatus, but I did go see it for the first time during podcast hiatus, so I think it counts. I saw it in Chicago at the Chicago Shakespeare Theatre, and it was so much fun. If you’ve listened to it you probably already really like the soundtrack, but seeing the show is really great because the energy is really high, the performers are really engaged with the audience, and it was just a really really really really really fun musical to see. I think it’s in London and Boston right now, and it will also be opening on Broadway in New York next year, so if you’re in any of those places I really recommend it. If you can’t go see it because tickets to musicals are expensive, I do still recommend listening to the London cast recording, it bangs. And it’s just so much fun, I love it so much. I love it!

Claire: Yeah, it is a really really fun show, I haven’t actually heard the album, but I went to see it, so I’ve seen the London production, and it’s almost more like a concert than a musical? Obviously there’s loads of cool costume changes and there’s a lot of cool scenery onstage, but there’s also a band, isn’t there a band onstage? I thought there was like, drums if I’m remembering correctly.

Jenny: Yes, there’s a little band. In the Chicago production they introduce each of the band members, it was really sweet, it was really nice.

Claire: I mean, you kind of have to do that if they’re onstage I think. But that’s like a trope, if you want to use that word, of concerts, right, and they do do that, so that’s kind of what I mean by it’s very concert-y. I really enjoyed it, I thought it was really fun, I’m not somebody who knows a lot about this particular period of British history, I’ve done a lot more contemporary British history, so it was kind of fun to go and see because I didn’t know a lot of the details, and a lot of the timeframe of the thing.

Jenny: Well, apply to me if you ever want to know details, I know a lot of things. I was in a very major Tudors phase when I was a young teenager, so.

Claire: Oh yes, I do recall that you have a lot of opinions about Mary Queen of Scots.

Jenny: Yes I do, yes I do! What an idiot! We don’t have to get into it, but what an idiot, oh my god.

Claire: (Laughs) No no, I mean, I recall you specifically having a lot of opinions about movies and media depictions of Mary Queen of Scots, and various other things that I thought, “Sure, that’s a thing I don’t know anything about, but I will trust Jenny’s opinion on these things.”

Jenny: Thank you, I appreciate that.

Claire: So my next favourite thing is more of a genre of a thing, it’s TV shows that are very specific competitions. And not really mean competitions like Project Runway or something like that where people snipe at each other, I mean Great British Bakeoff-style competitions where it’s just a particular trade, or a particular type of thing, like, we’ve got a Great British Sewing Bee in the UK as well, which is amazing and I really like needlecrafts as well, so it works great for me. But there are more shows just like that that have this kind of, how kind, that have people helping each other. I have loved Faceoff for a really long time, it’s just not available to watch anywhere in the UK, so it makes me really sad. But, there are two that are available to watch in the UK, and that makes me so happy. The first I know you watch also, and that is Blown Away, which is the Netflix glass-blowing competition, which was amazing! Which showcased this really uncommon, obscure skill that people don’t really know about, and is fascinating, and also, every episode they talk about glory-holes a bunch of times, which is really funny, because that’s just a funny word!

Jenny: (Giggles) Yes they do, it’s hilarious!

Claire: It’s one of the like, ovens, I guess? That they use? And they all talk about it with an extremely straight face, which I love.

Jenny: Yes, yes, they do, there’s no winking at the camera, although if it were me that would be all that I was doing.

Claire: Yeah, for sure, for sure. And the other thing I’m not sure if that’s going to be available for people to watch outside of the UK, but it is a show called The Great Model Railway Challenge, which is a show… where they make model railways. Like!

Jenny: I could never have guessed.

Claire: But it’s so, so fun! I would say the one drawback to it is that it tends to be teams of older white dudes, there’s not that many women or people of colour, I mean they are there, obviously they’re there, because every kind of thing, like model railway building or science fiction and fantasy where people tell you “oh it’s a thing of white dudes!” it’s not, it’s not, we’ve always been around, we’re there, but… I would say, it is kind of still predominant, but it’s such a fun show. They basically have three teams come in that are local model railway building clubs from around the country, and they give them this big table, and they have to build a model railway on a theme in three days. So they start by putting out the tracks, and making sure all the trains run, and then they have to build this massive bit of scenery around it. They are allowed to bring some stuff from home, but they have to only bring a certain amount of buildings that they have premade from home, and so sometimes you get into a situation where someone is like “yes, this row of houses is one of our pre-built!” and the judges are like, “noooo.” That’s the level of drama that we get. You also get lovely shots of people drinking tea and eating biscuits, because that’s very important.

Jenny: Yes. That sounds wonderful. I too am a big fan of kind reality shows, and I actually read a thing on NPR recently talking about how Netflix is really cornering the market on kind reality shows in America, so you know, someone’s on it, it’s not going to stop with Blown Away, I hope.

Claire: Yeah, there’s also a Lego one in the UK actually. I didn’t mention it because it’s not on at the minute, but there’s like a Lego-building show, and they have a lot of teams that are like, a kid and their uncle or something.

Jenny: Aww!

Claire: There’s adult teams, and then kids, and there’s teams that are like two kids sometimes that do really really well because they are so imaginative. Then they have teams that are like, “Yes, I’m eight, and my dad is an engineer, and we have built the Eiffel Tower in Lego!” Something like that, it’s just really good.

Jenny: It sounds wonderful!

(Quick break)

Jenny: OK, my last pick is the Psychology of Time Travel by Kate Mascarenhas. Oh my god, I loved this book so much, I don’t understand why everyone’s not reading it and talking about it. This is another one that’s definitely going to be in my top five books of the year. And, like Laura Dean Keeps Breaking Up With Me, it is mostly about women. This is about an alternate universe where time travel gets invented in England after World War II, and this whole time travel agency gets created. It’s told in multiple timelines, as you would expect from a time travel book, and there’s just so many moving parts, so what’s amazing is that it works really well together, all the different moving parts just click together so beautifully, I never knew what was coming next, I would get finished with a chapter and just be like, I have no idea what’s going to happen. It’s nominally a murder mystery, but you start out not even knowing actually who got murdered. It’s just great, it’s inventive, it’s queer, it’s unexpected, and I have not read a time travel book in a really long time that I thought did such an amazing job of characters, and plot, and I just loved it. And there are almost no men in it, which is great.

Claire: Have you read the time travel novellas by Kate Heartfield, Alice Payne Arrives and Alice Payne Rides? Because I thought they did that thing that you describe really really well, the time travel timey-wimeyness.

Jenny: Yes, so I read the first one, I haven’t read the second one yet. I enjoyed it a lot yeah, for sure.

Claire: Would recommend the second one.

Jenny: I’m all-in for time travel. I’m excited to read it, my library doesn’t have it yet unfortunately.

Claire: Hopefully soon!

Jenny: I know!

[Music break]

Claire: Well that’s all we have time for today, but before we go, Jenny, can you tell people a little bit more about where they can find you online?

Jenny: Yes! So I am at readingtheend.com where I blog and podcast, and I’m also on Twitter @readingtheend, and I think that’s it, those are my main two places.

Claire: Awesome, awesome, thank you so much for joining me Jenny, I was so happy to do this game with you today.

Jenny: Thank you so much for having me on, I’m so delighted that you humoured me and agreed to do my fantasy draft!

Claire: It was a lot of fun! So, thanks again for joining me, and thank you to all of you for tuning in to Radio Free Fandom. You can find us on Twitter at @radiofreefandom, email us at radiofreefandom@gmail.com, or head over to our website radiofreefandom.com to see the show notes and find out more about our awesome guests. If you enjoy the show, please consider leaving us a rating or a review on iTunes as that might do something, we’re not sure, but it might help. We are also on Patreon at patreon.com/ClaireRousseau if you would like to support us with money. Or you can just tell people about the show on the Twitters. Our show music is Super Friendly by Kevin MacLeod, find out more at incompetech.com.

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[opportunistic-chicanery]

@lcftcult from here

"Don't suppose you go online much, do you?" Well he's certainly not going to tell her.

He covers his nose and mouth. He feels dirty just thinking about it.

[opportunistic-chicanery]

@the-expatriate

It was admittedly still a new experience. For the Hacker to be on the receiving end of a villain’s ire. He was usually the one doing the smiting, but on Earth his position was looked on differently.

No matter. He wouldn't be around long. Once he managed to track the location of the backdoor, he'd obliterate that clanking collection of circuits once in for all and return to Cyberspace to take his rightful place on its throne.

He just needed more time.

And that was exactly what he didn't have. He groaned as he spotted the familiar men in black that had blocked off the entrance to the late night eatery he was holed up in.

"I'm sorry, gentlemen. Whatever you're selling I'm afraid I'm not interested,” he scowled as they entered and converged beside his table.

“Oh we’re not here to sell anything. We’re here to collect payment.” One thugs reached out and grabbed him by the collar.

[opportunistic-chicanery]

@musesofepicoriginanddesign

"Oh, Doctor Marbles. Come out, come out where ever you are," Hacker sang as sat in front of the Wreaker's giant monitor. The image on the screen was of an amateur animal trap only instead of a piece of steak or cheese underneath was a cold box of Chinese take out. The perfect lure for his nomadically inclined creator.

Unfortunately he had failed to notice one of his dunderheaded henchbots had his rear end on the microphone button. So much more a surprise attack.

[opportunistic-chicanery]

   Turf wars often came with damage to local buildings and the like, and as far as Pentious was aware, there was nobody around. With Egg Boi's swarming the streets to grab stray weapons and others firing the gun from Pentious' airship into one of the houses, imagine the collective surprise when one of the Egg Bois actually finds someone inside. 

" Uh-oh. Boss. I think you just broke someone's home! "

   A collective of chatter picks up as Pentious lowers his airship, shouting over whatever sound that may be making it hard to hear.

" Dreadfully ssorry my good fellow! I wass under the impressssion that thiss turf wass abandoned! "

{ Pentious @ Hacker ( since i've noticed you have other muses i wanted to specify jic ) }

"What do you think you're doing? You wretched reptile! Not sure what's worse, the extermination or its aftermath. I have glass all over my kitchen!"

The bug-like demon stomped out of the hole in his wall in a bath robe and bunny slippers. He'd been just about to retire with a hot mug of Horlicks when he'd been interrupted. Unlike many fellow sinners, the Hacker avoided engagement with the post-extermination territory disputes. He preferred to grow his territory with a fist full of bills than a laser rifle.

"What's your name?" he called up to the air ship. Like a true capitalist, he was already preparing to ring up his lawyers.