#believe it or not different characters in the same game feels different to photograph

[acecroft]

[overleftdown]

farleigh start thoughts

this is going to be a very random, very eclectic post. i just wanted to share some stuff that i can't figure out how to post independently. some headcanons, some commentary, some references... who knows. probably just a lot of yabbering.

"keep the rain" by searows. dude. just listen to the lyrics, i swear.

i was wondering about what the cattons really give farleigh. there's kind of... endless possibilities. his family in america is emotionally neglectful, but how do the cattons differ? i can imagine that having felix and venetia, two people of similar ages that he can glue himself to, is important to him. i also think that frederica start is an overlooked aspect of farleigh's character. e.i. he needs to have some semblance of closeness with the cattons if he has a chance at convincing them to financially support his mom. i think his ultimate mistake when confronting felix was perhaps centering himself, when the conversation was originally about frederica. although farleigh needed to finally say what he knew all along; he's different, and he's being treated differently because of it. i digress; farleigh wants companionship, a loud and distracting lifestyle, the security that only wealth can give you, and the possibility of helping his mom. that's how i sum it up, at least.

although farleigh is prone to escapism (into his wealth, into drugs, into his social life, into the games he plays), he doesn't seem as committed to cognitive dissociation as the rest of the cattons. i don't think farleigh is deluded by the wealth and power he has access to; i actually think it's the opposite. he is so hyper-vigilant of what he can lose that he's entirely aware that he doesn't know how to exist without wealth. the rest of the cattons have convinced themselves that wealth isn't an inherent part of them (elspeth with her odd anecdotes that imply she's a worldly woman, felix with his down-to-earth "i'm beyond classism" attitude, venetia with her general boredom of wealth and everything attached to wealth). farleigh never has that attitude. he knows exactly who he is with wealth, and he's terrified of what he will face without wealth. how would he cope with his sometimes-debilitating otherness? how would he have any power, any control, if not wealth and status? (this is a warped perception of reality, but i believe that's the perspective that comes with omnipresent wealth since you were born).

i think that farleigh would smother his room in pictures. i mean all kinds of media. films he likes, artists he likes (beyonce, justin timberlake, gwen stefani, aaliyah, madonna), pictures of new york, polaroids, photo booth strips, favorite travel locations (greece, italy, LA, germany, whatever), chad from hsm because that's his hair inspo, vogue magazine clippings- jesus, dare i say... postcards? i'm picturing anything and everything. but let's say that farleigh is a very private person. i mean, he's a professional hider, secret keeper, "inside thoughts" kind of person. i'm imagining anything just slightly too personal would be kept in a box. maybe that same box he keeps his cocaine! family pictures, baby pictures, personal photography (would it be bold to imagine farleigh as a notorious street photographer?), old knick knacks like his first friendship bracelets or seashells he found on the beach. i'm getting carried away. farleigh seems like the type to consume, linger, consider. i feel like anyone who wears gucci loafers also has an immense amount of sentimental material.

farleigh doesn't like english food that much.

farleigh is clearly able to apply himself in an academic setting, if the tutoring session is anything to go by. he takes a gamble on whether spending time with people is more beneficial than actually doing his work, and maybe he's just a little bit bored by school. but at the same time, he listened to oliver's entire essay and counted each individual time that oliver said "thus." where the tutor wasn't even listening, farleigh made the choice to specifically comment on oliver's rhetorical content because he understands how to apply yourself academically, even if you've yet to get around to the actual assignment. so.

i think farleigh likes to read. clearly felix, vee, and farleigh all made an agreement to read harry potter together. but i'm also imagining farleigh as a sort of classic literature, historical drama, and romance type of reader. i just think he'd get a kick out of it. i imagine his myspace page genuinely contained moments where he shared book plot like it was school drama.

based on archie's information about how he was asked to audition for farleigh, i think that farleigh speaks to his mom less often and very casually. in a few of archie's interviews, he said he was asked to mimic a phone call with the character's mom while he talked about guys he slept with recently. i think farleigh learned to avoid attempting any substantial conversation with frederica from a fairly young age (also from what archie has said about farleigh's dynamic with his mom). there's a level of both maturity and immaturity to farleigh's relationship with frederica. frederica clings to youth and avoids traditional aspects of motherhood. farleigh had to meet her in this odd middle ground, speaking to her like a friend that's similar in age to him. i can imagine that very few people have had any genuine, serious, emotional conversations with farleigh. like archie has said, farleigh and felix's heated confrontation has never happened before. farleigh doesn't say shit about what he's feeling or thinking.

farleigh and the cattons is so GAH. familial but transactional, familial but not quite. the cattons resolutely ignore the massive elephant in the room that is their inability to let go of how they view farleigh. "dad felt so guilty that he agreed to pay for all of farleigh's education," which also implies that farleigh is only living with the cattons because james has roped himself into this odd situation where farleigh is being shipped to england for school. now that he kinda has to stay with them based on that one agreement, it would also be weird if the cattons didn't treat farleigh the same as felix and venetia. i'm getting carried away. supporting a family member isn't supposed to be on the basis of guilt or pity. there is supposed to be... love? like, c'mon. this makes farleigh's relationship with his cousins odd. venetia believes farleigh is spoiled ("talk about biting the hand"), felix agrees that farleigh is there for entertainment. both comments didn't sit very well with me. the normal family dynamic is shrouded in this strange obligatory and transactional attitude. odd. odd odd odd.

YOUR BEST AMERICAN GIRL BY MITSKI

nothing, just farleigh's relationship with sex and how abysmally unhealthy it is, actually. and also the fact that oliver coerced him sexually GAH. i see this character and he makes me insane to be so honest.

he had to mourn both his cousins ALONE??

i hope farleigh eventually does something incredibly sinister and conniving and mean to oliver.

okay i'm done. hope you enjoyed... all of that.

[aerynlallaboso]

theory post:

(spoilers for AW1/AN/AW2)

AW2 Zane is not the original Zane; he is a new version of Tom Zane that has overwritten the original, both in the Dark Place and in the real world.

Part One: Contradictory realities

The idea that this version of Zane has been written into reality and displaced the original Zane is, I think, pretty much textual - I'm very interested in the fact that despite the fact Zane the poet wrote himself out of the world, he did still exist in certain places e.g. in the memory of Cynthia Weaver, who kept that memory alive by writing newspaper articles about Zane (dismissed as urban legend by everyone around her), in actual physical evidence via the shoebox loophole that he created himself (the box of books in the cabin, which are real copies of books that don't exist), and in the memory of the Dark Place (Diver's Cabin at the bottom of the lake). When Zane dismisses the poet/diver as 'a beloved character I played in one of my films', that may be what he now believes (I think he's either not fully aware of the disconnect or doesn't particularly care), but it hasn't always been the truth. There was a real poet called Thomas Zane, and there wasn't: two contradictory truths.

Besides the box of books in the cabin in AW1, the most compelling evidence that reality has been rewritten is the existence of the manor that became Valhalla Nursing Home. Cynthia Weaver's journal indicates she still retains her memories of the original Zane and is very confused when people start referring to him as a filmmaker. She also has in her room a photograph of Zane and Jagger standing in front of Diver's Cabin, which is an object that absolutely should not exist - Zane was never a diver, right? In the basement of the nursing home, you can find a newspaper article with an identical photograph of Zane and Jagger, this time standing in front of their newly purchased manor home. The manor did not exist in the original version of reality as it is in AW1; Norman has dialogue referencing this ('Isn't it strange that I've lived in Bright Falls my whole life and I can't remember this house?'), which Mandy-May refutes ('The house has always been here') just as Saga's memories of her original reality are refuted throughout the game. The manor and the cabin are, similar to the filmmaker and the poet, the same building in different versions of reality, occupying the same role in the history of Bright Falls, which is why the Writer's Room exists in both of them. The same place, the same person - but different.

(Jesse Faden's therapy tape referencing Zane the poet in Control is an additional piece of evidence similar to Cynthia's memories - I assume that Polaris's influence protected Jesse from the effects of that reality rewrite.)

Okay. So Zane was rewritten into reality as a filmmaker. By who?

Part Two: Who else?

This part is more speculative, but it makes so much sense to me that I don't even feel like it's reaching too far 😭. Alan Wake is constantly writing drafts. Constantly cycling through loops that even he's forgotten. He wrote Thomas Zane into Departure as a way to free himself from the cabin, as a guardian angel for himself who would feed him manuscript pages and lead him to the end of the story. It seems almost impossible that over the course of 13 years, it wouldn't occur to Alan to try that again. Bring Zane back, rewrite him for his purposes, maybe as a collaborator this time? American Nightmare provides some excellent context for this, since the final piece Alan needs to rewrite reality and kill Scratch at the end is Alice's short film - you could say he's collaborating with her in absentia. Their two pieces of art strengthen each other, similar to the idea Zane presents to Alan in Initiation 5 of 'your magnum opus, Return, and its companion piece, my film'.

It feels natural (to me!) that Zane the filmmaker was created to fulfill this role of collaborator in a different medium, down to the way he describes himself as a fellow 'celebrated auteur'. He's here to help Alan get out. But as Alan forgets his own actions after a certain amount of time, Zane's role becomes murkier - Alan no longer trusts his intentions, no longer wants to give up control of his story, and the new Thomas Zane is left adrift in the Dark Place with little besides the desire to create to escape (with Alan). Again more speculative, since Zane's objectives are left relatively ambiguous throughout the game, but I do believe his desire to help Alan get out is sincere (even if his motivations for it are unclear). What this will mean if/when he escapes the Dark Place himself is another story :)

Side note: why does the new Zane look like Alan?

I don't know if this is a question everyone has? I do, because I'm not sure as to the current canonicity of the photographs of the original Zane in This House of Dreams, but those appear to show a blonde man with a different build to AW2 Zane, and Alan himself questions why Zane looks like him. Frankly, if we're going by the 'Alan created him' theory and given Scratch's existence as his evil doppelganger, I don't think that Alan would have intentionally written the guy to look like him - Zane's appearance feels like a reflection of the fact that this is Alan's dreamscape, a 'performance the Dark Place [is] putting on' which is 'all about me, but I [have] no control over it'. I also think that Zane is a reflection of the traits Alan would value in a collaborator, and that Alan Wake has a hard time letting anyone but himself write his story... You see where that could go.

Theorising more about this one would require going deep into my beliefs about Wake and Zane as reflections of each other in a creator/creation loop paradox that continues from the first game and fulfillers of the same archetypal Creator/Hero role within a larger metanarrative of the Story of Cauldron Lake (hence why various important characters refer to Alan as 'Tom') and I don't have time for that right now but probably the true answer has to be. They wanted to give Ilkka Villi a guy to play without dubbing. And I could listen to that man talk forever so alright post is over thanks for coming

(Side note 2: Self-promotion

I wanted to write a full 'setting out theory' post about this but I did also incorporate a lot of it into my fanfiction. Which you can read if you want to if you're interested in edging for creative inspiration 🙂)

[wilder-depths]

L could never win on his own

recently rewatched death note with the roommates cuz one of them hadn't seen it before and ended up in a bit of a debate over the second half of the show. (spoilers ahead)

essentially the sides boiled down to the fact that after a rewatch i really appreciate the second half of death note (even tho its rushed and got some holes) bc i don't think L could have beat Light. and this isnt out of hatred for L. i LOVE L. to an insane degree. my roommate did not agree with this idea of L not being able to win tho.

basically the way i see it is there's a couple things against L winning:

hes too close to the case and the criminal, to the point where he considers the perpetrator a friend

he doesnt have all the cards in hand to solve the case

Light holds all the power. all of it.

for point one you gotta understand that i believe L is a bit more emotional than Near ends up being (a different convo is the split of L's personality between Mello and Near). he's so unused to having someone next to him or on the same level that he's a bit emotionally affected (as much as he might tell himself he's not) by potentially accusing someone who is his friend. he actually says this in the show: "that is, it would be a problem if you WERE Kira, because i feel you're the first friend ive ever had". he also explicitly states that the case not going his way makes him depressed and sort of ruins his ability to do things. there are limits to how logical L is. Near ends up being able to cut himself off from emotion a bit more because he's grown up with Mello and had to compensate for Mello's extreme emotional outbursts, imo. that's strike one against L being able to effectively solve this case.

point 2: L doesnt have all the cards and he knows it. he's not playing with a full deck, whereas Light has pretty much all the cards and all the information since he's both an investigator AND the villain. this is an interesting callback to one of the first meetings of Light and L where L gives Light 3 photographs and asks him to interpret them (then later revealing there were actually 4 photographs and Light should have known). idk if this counts as irony or just dramatic irony and foreshadowing but its definitely interesting.

this lack of cards leads to L having to take risks during the investigation that are life-and-death for him, whereas for Kira, most of the risks he takes can be solved by killing someone if it goes wrong, or manipulating a shinigami into doing something for him.

point 3: because L doesnt have all the cards, and Light has all the power, he stands no chance. Light can control people in death, he's also a master manipulator who has wrapped around his finger: 1) all his classmates and community, 2) his family, specifically his father, 3) the entire task force, 4) an entire news station and a good portion of the internet, 5) a literal GOD OF DEATH. TWO OF THEM. (Rem moreso than Ryuk but Ryuk is still manipulated a few times via apples and the promise of seeing more human action). 6) the Japanese police, 7) the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, 8) the second Kira/Misa, 9) another unhinged Kira in Mikami, 10) a news anchor/woman who loves him? and later 11) basically all of Japan/the world. he can afford to take risks as his power grows. (this power and cockiness is eventually his downfall but he's held in check by the mental chess game with L.)

with all of this, L didnt stand a chance. but a lot of it was because of his unique situation and proximity to Light. Near and Mello, on the other hand, had outside distance from the case. they were wild cards that eventually ended up causing Light to break (partially because he saw too much of L in them).

so L could never win on his own. but it still took two geniuses to match his power, which i think is a testament to how cool L is as a character.

i dont think this is enough to convince my roommate but i figured i'd write it down anyway and yall can judge me

[theidentityvexpert]

I think it's only fitting that I start this blog with an explanation of what the basic IdentityV lore is. . .

I feel like the best way to start is going to be just making a post covering all the bases of the general IdentityV lore and what the game in general is about. So, light lore if you will. When the game starts, you play as the ex-novelist and Detective (Orpheus.) It's also important to note that Orpheus suffers from amnesia with heavy memory gaps where he doesn't remember certain periods of his life or much of his childhood. Orpheus is tasked to locate Mr.Reichenbach's missing daughter. James Reichenbach is a man who has claimed to be Orpheus's number one fan and biggest most loyal reader. In the beginning he sends Orpheus this long winded really sad letter with a photograph and some money, begging him to find his daughter who is missing.

Orpheus obviously accepts this deal and it brings him to the doors of the infamous Oletus Manor. When he's inside of the Oletus Manor, he finds all of these strangely written diaries, all of which are different accounts of their stays at the manor. Through reading these diary entries Orpheus realizes that horrible things had happened at that manor where people died and risked their life in these games for whatever it was that they were, "promised" upon winning. The more and more Orpheus investigates the manor and looks around he begins to have flashbacks and hallucinates having horrible reactions to his surroundings and being there, leading everyone to believe that he may have had more to his past than what we are initially told.

He reads finding out about what is referred to as, "the manor games", these games refer to the canon 5 player layout of the games that took place before Orpheus arrived at the manor as an investigator. Each of these games was played with 5 contestants.

The manor would only house 5 people at a time, each group was put in different housing conditions and rules and they were given drugs that heightened their mental states before they were put onto the maps where the killing games would then take place.

Those who lived would be passed onto the next game and so on and so forth.

The reason that the characters are ragdolls and everything is in a stuffed animal form, is because the games we play as players are simulations with the dolls of the survivors of potential games that could have actually happened.

As more birthday letters, and character day content is released we slowly learn more and more and are able to piece together who were at the manor at the same time and who participated in what games and what happened to them! So this is just the basic lore as sort of a foundation layer to the IdentityV lore. :D. I hope this was decently explained and...executed haha.

[death-in-a-handbasket]

A penny for your thoughts on Ranpo?

certainly! I am deeply enthused with his character and am pondering writing something for him at some point (I am a vague vague bastard I am so so sorry)(kind of)

the short of my thoughts is that this man is so silly and probably also autistic, 100% likely tism fr fr do you see how this man behaves

the long of my thoughts surround how I would like to sit down and expand more on his intelligence, I feel like for all the smart characters we have in bsd so many of them are highly intelligent but their different modes of being smart aren't talked about in length enough, I feel like Fyodor and Dazai have great minds for including emotional cards in their schemes and that's how their plots work out half the time, Dazai is very faith based in his and Fyodor is very bait and switch which tbh is why these recent chapters have felt like horseshit but that's it's own thing to unwrap

Ranpo feels very much solely strategy with more detachment on the emotional cards at play, similar in build to Louisa but with quicker processing, I think they would make a banger team if they ever were to meet. Ranpo seems specifically like he has extraordinary observational skills and a near photographic memory, he has a great database within his mind and he's simply parsing through the files at mach speed until enough dots line up LMAO which is where his occasional weakness comes in: if he doesn't have the information to parse through he's at a loss which is why Fukuchi is such a righteous pain in the asshole, how do you beef with a man that can get info from the future and more specifically info that YOU don't know, god bless

aside from fascinating mental mechanics I also think his love language is being a little shit and playful mental banter, I feel like he would love saltwater taffy and I feel like he's a sore loser if you beat him in any card/board game, throws a whole fit and everything and will challenge you repeatedly to the same game until he wins LMAO

for as childish as he is I feel people make him out to be more immature than he actually is, I feel like it's in his nature to be a petty and enthused little shit but once you peel back all the social layers I think half of the overconfidence he puts out is for others to believe in and for him to try and convince himself, cue the panels talking about how he does what he does because all his friends think he's the greatest

so yeah, I think he's more emotionally mature than he lets on and I think he figured out the glasses gimmick a while ago, poor public transportation abilities aside, I think he bare minimum would've put the pieces together after dead apple come on now

also after finding out his irl author counterpart was the founder of the eroguro genre, not only am I looking to read his works but I also think a stalker fic for him would be fun, after all, it's all a game for him isn't it? why don't you play along :)

if you want more specific thoughts I'd be happy to answer any specific lanes you want to go down, all is fair game anon >:)

[jenyifer]

Breaking Boston pt10

Well this is the final scene. I have already gone into depth about how I think Nick saying “you are better off alone is fucked.” The post is here. I will never be able to justify the narrative here. It feels incredibly wrong. I wrote a charactization of Boston and Nick and I think it’s still how I see them “Boston is sex positive honest boy who learns to love. Nick is an obsessive self-conscious boy who learns to respect himself he doesn’t give in to Boston but he stays supportive.” I was fully aware bostonnick wasn’t end game… the show had been hinting something bad was going on with Nick for awhile. I wasn’t expecting a 180 on both of my boys. For this I’m going to give you two endings as fast as I can.

1 the realistic breakup end.

2 the we can make things work.

I haven’t read the novel so that’s not influencing me. I’ll put the fixes below the cut so they don’t clutter your feeds

Ending One the break up

Boston sits down next to Nick and immediately starts trying to apologize. But Nick hushes him and takes the present from Boston’s hands trying to calm him down. He can’t hear Bostons apologies when he has to break Bostons heart. Nick looks at the photograph of him on Bostons bead and starts to cry a little and says, “I’m not that person anymore Ton. He didn’t know what he was getting into when you walked into my life. He probably would have followed you to New York. Been happy with whatever you gave him. But you’ve changed me truly for the better. By breaking my heart you showed me I have worth. I learned I am desirable and capable of so much love. Boston.” Nick would hold Bostons face looking into his eyes because Boston won’t be doing great by this point. “Listen to me. I will always love you. I will be the first person to congratulate you on your success. But I can’t tie you down. We want two different things. I’m sorry I can’t make my feelings disappear but… I know you won’t want me to be dishonest with you… do you understand.”Boston tried to keep himself together but agrees. Boston thanks Nick for everything hugs him one more time then when he feels the tears he stands up and walks away not facing nick he says “you are the only person I’ll call boyfriend but if all I can do is call you friend… that’s better than nothing.. have a good night Nick you deserve happiness.” Boston sprints back to the car and leaves his heart breaking into a million pieces like glass but at least Nick will always be with him.

Ending 2 endgame

Nick is waiting for Boston looking at photos of them on his phone. He can’t go through with breaking up with Boston. He can’t stomach the thought of never seeing his smile again. When Boston sits down Nick puts a hand on his leg his voice already close to breaking. He tell Boston he’s made a decision but before Nick can expand on that Boston gives him the present trying to ease things. Boston believes nick is going to leave him. Nick looks at his photograph and feels a swell of affection for boston. Boston always saw the real Nick. Boston made him look good and feel fantastic. Boston made him into the savage sexy guy he is. Nick presses the photo into Bostons hands again and says “we can put it up in our new apartment. You take it there first I’ll join you once my internship is over. You can miss me everyday.” Boston takes a second to process this he can’t believe it he’s in shock. Nick leans forward to kiss him but Boston stops him and says “what if I hurt you again? I really didn’t mean to at the bar. You don’t want the same things as me. I can promise I won’t kiss anyone but you but I don’t know if I can keep it. I’ll try I never want to hurt you again please understand me” Nick strokes Bostons cheek looking into his eyes “we can compromise but right now I know I love you and I want you to want me in your bed every night until you leave. I want to be the one you love. We can negotiate terms but I really want to build a life on our dreams together.” Boston and Nick kiss and things fade to black or hot spicy scene but doesn’t seem necessary 🤷🏻‍♀️ your choice of fantasy ending.

[chaoxfix]

I posted 3,591 times in 2022

That's 3,591 more posts than 2021!

1,017 posts created (28%)

2,574 posts reblogged (72%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@chaoxfix

@studioboner

@gayemeralds

@passionfruitbowls

@themetalvirus

I tagged 1,872 of my posts in 2022

Only 48% of my posts had no tags

#sonic frontiers spoilers - 52 posts

#ml spoilers - 31 posts

#chaoxfix - 31 posts

#sonic the hedgehog - 19 posts

#selfref - 15 posts

#tails the fox - 13 posts

#<3 - 12 posts

#miles tails prower - 12 posts

#self rec - 11 posts

#so cute - 11 posts

Longest Tag: 124 characters

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My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

had a dream that if enough day/night cycles have passed, hermit koco won’t let you power up again until you take a nap, because “all the speed and rings in the world won’t help if you’re too exhausted to use them”

then he watched over sonic as he slept through the night, chatting with any digitized friend who stopped by

…a guy could write a fic about that, you know.

262 notes - Posted November 9, 2022

#4

can’t believe it’s canon that the games are just based off of the characters ‘real life’ adventures

guys this legit explains weird narrative discrepancies in each game, where different POVs don’t line up. they just interviewed different characters who told biased perspectives of events.

386 notes - Posted November 14, 2022

#3

i’m allergic to digital art (or rather my tablet is allergic to me) but i hope u like it! @tsaikonautz same drawing different style challenge

391 notes - Posted June 16, 2022

#2

i now have a hc that sonic does have an apartment in station square but he basically never sleeps there, maybe once a month

he instead uses it as a storage shed for all of the merch people make of him

bc whats he gonna do, turn down a really cool mural the city made in his honor? no. hes gonna put that shit up in his living room. his friends call him egotistical but jokes on them, he looks cool as hell.

he also has

a freezer full of sonic popsicles. the fucked up ones. u know. (ty @sketchjii for reminding me these exist)

a fridge full of sports drinks with his face on the label. some officially sponsored, some knockoffs with 'socin the hengehog', who is a slightly lighter blue hedgehog. he thinks its hilarious

boxes upon boxes of frozen chili dogs, from every brand deal he's ever done who promised him a lifetime supply and are starting to sweat from making good on it

hoodies for humans that imitate his look (he loves the ones with fake ears and fake gloves. they look fucking hilarious on top of his own ears and gloves)

every variation of sonic plushie ever made. especially the deformed looking ones. the ugly ones are usually from knuckles. ("got you this. its like looking in a mirror right?" "hilarious.")

plushies of all his friends

a super sonic shower curtain from a then-6 year old tails to 'make him feel brave while taking a bath! :D'

giant fuzzy slippers that are meant to look like his shoes

his fridge door has drawings from charmy, cream, and some from tails when he was little(r)

hes got a bookcase with a bunch of books. some haunted. some not. a few scrapbooks mixed in, old textbooks tails read when he was a kid and was gonna toss out but has a lot of funny notes in the margins

he also has a trophy case to hold his many sonic & mario olympic games trophies

last i'll mention is he's even got a little eggman matryoshka doll that sits on his fridge. he just thinks its funny

if he ever dies young itll be a really fun museum exhibit. he gives one (1) apartment tour to some photographer who's way out of his depth but it's honestly kinda funny how nonchalant sonic is about all the merch of himself he collects

428 notes - Posted September 6, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

“love is stored in the child i adopted while i was also a child”

441 notes - Posted June 15, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[appleciderp]

for the ask game I'll have a number 7, a nr 15, 16 and a 25 thank you <33

I feel like I'm working at a drive-thru window.

7. Favourite works of all time excluding your own?

How pretentious do you want this answer to be??

Because the real answer is We Walked the Earth by Uffe Isolotto (TW: Suicide, and a bunch of other things I cannot explain but I'm sure will upset people. I'm not gonna put the examples here) though it's more of an exhibit than an illustration.

The sheer desperation that looking at the photographs give me is outrageous. I want to see it in person. But it's kind of pretentious.

Keaton Henson's work has always affected me, from the second I first heard his songs, to the first time I read his poetry, to the countless times I've looked at his sketches.

There's just a perfect imperfectness to his drawings.

15. Biggest artist pet peeve?

Anybody trying to tell anybody what to do. Yes, ideally you'd need to learn anatomy before bending the rules. Do you HAVE to? no.

Art, to me, is made from love and emotions and especially when you enter more classically trained areas, I feel like they say "Oh you can do that, once you learn the basics."

That only turns people off the idea. Do things that annoy you, THEN you can have fun. For example: Do I understand composition? Fuck no. Would it better my art? yea, definitely. Will I do it? Maybe when I feel like it.

Any time you create, you better your art. Whether that be writing, drawing, playing an instrument, or whatever.

The only rule to me regarding art is to create.

Another one is regarding pricing. Whenever I've taken commissions in the past, I've always done Pay what you want prices. I always see posts saying to not undervalue yourself as an artist and to at least ask for minimum wage as a pricing guide. I ain't charging anybody 15$ an hour for my drawings.

Art for me is a hobby, that I rarely do for money. I don't care that I'm valuing my work at less than 5$ an hour. Hell, I did a 6 character scene with a background a few years ago for about 20$, just because the concept seemed fun.

Not everybody who draws should make it a career, and I feel like telling everybody to treat as if everybody taking commissions for their living wage is not the way to go.

IF you want it to be your sole source of income, go for it. But I don't feel like saying that every artist needs to follow those rules.

16. What’s the most daunting part of your process? Ex, planning, sketching, lineart, rendering etc

Lineart, shading, and backgrounds.

Linearts are mostly due to my struggle with accepting the imperfections in my art. I used to have a very crisp and bold lineart with the smoothest brush you could ever imagine. It's just when I sat down and looked at the art that I enjoyed (both online and offline) that I realized I always preferred a thinner lineart and sketchier overall. I always used to think my sketches were so much better back then.

Shading pretty much follows the same vein. Thining my lines made imperfections in shading stand out more. I prefer lighting, and I have no idea how tf my brain makes those two completely different to me.

Backgrounds I believe are nearly universal. Everybody hates 'em.

25. Based on your recent reference searches, what would the FBI assume about you?

Guns, bombs, and kilts. BUT I frequently pop on a little (It's for a drawing, I promise) or (I'm writing something, I'm not killing anybody!) Which either amps my suspiciousness up or it makes me seem sane.

The worst is when I did the Midas piece and I wanted refs of oozing liquids, and like, blood was the obvious choice, but nothing was popping up exactly and it was frustrating to just have to google "blood oozing" "real blood oozing" "blood oozing wound" "Nosebleed" "hands covered in blood"

[interactivel3-reg-boi]

Rotoscoping What is rotoscoping ? Rotoscope animation describes the process of creating animated sequences by tracing over live-action footage frame by frame. Though it can be time consuming, rotoscoping allows animators to create lifelike characters who move just like people in the real world. Some examples could be Walt Disney Studios had used rotoscoping for some animation movies such as Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, Peter Pan and Cinderella in order to create realistic movements for otherwise stylized characters. The process was to film scenes with real actors and sets. Then, these images were used as references for the Disney animators to help them visualize the scenes, postures and movements to draw.

This type of anamton could never be bad it's a classic and Is apart of most of people's childhood it looks nostalgic and feels it when rewatching . I would of never guess that it used this technique to make it . Another example could be Cup head. How was Cuphead game animated?

By using the same animating tools and techniques that they did in the 1930s handdrawing and inking each frame animating on the ones, and creating hand painted watercolor backgrounds They believed they can closely replicate the 1930s style better than using modern and digital means to create the art .it's a reference to rotoscoping, an old animation technique invented and used by max fleischer (the dude who created popeye, betty boop etc) where you trace over live action film reel. so something like the illusion of 3d backgrounds found in popeye meets sinbad the sailor and the dance scene from the betty boop cartoon "the old man of the mountain" were all done thanks to that technique. studio mdhr deliberately tried to recreate that with the genie and dragon bosses but instead of using rotoscoping they just simply made a 3d model of a pyramid and a tower and photographed that from a bunch of different angles

I love this type of animation style it's a interesting experience as I didn't grow up to this type of animation style the game did come out on the 29th of September 2017 so it was really cool seeing people playing this game in this style as most people haven't seen it or haven't seen it for a while. For players that appreciate classic run-and-gun combat, punishing difficulty, constantly learning from failure, and breathtaking experience cuphead will not disappoint.

[chicagolive]

Hey there! Holiday anon here!!

I’ve been trying to read more so I really appreciate the book recs in your last message! Here’s to hoping we both enjoy Hail Mary!

I’m very lucky to have self titled in pink! I bought it around two years ago now I think? And I found it at a steal honestly compared to the $200+ people were listing it for so it was very much a chance thing.

I have all but midnight memories on vinyl because I think they’ve yet to press it and I hope the color is nice but I honestly doubt it however I will buy it either way just to have it on vinyl. Idk why but I have a feeling urban outfitters (who’s been pressing the 1D color vinyls recently) are gonna make it like a weird neon yellow??? They’re not gonna do red unfortunately even though that’s the main color of the album because they made four red for some reason? The colors they’ve picked for the albums have honestly not been very complementary or like matching other than them making mitam blue since blue and orange are complementary.

Anyways, you can definitely add me to your rob list lol, when you come to rob me we’ll just chill and listen!! I’m not sure if there’s one vinyl I listen to more than the rest buuut self titled really is a different experience on vinyl.

Those are such stunning paintings! And Italy! How fun and exciting!!! I’ve never left the US and I’ve rarely left my state as well but I’m hoping one day to travel more in and out of the US!!!

Such a cool thing to go to school for, I hope the new year brings a spark as well!!! And oooo that sounds like a look!!! Jean on Jean, I’m not sure I could pull that off. I’ve not seen heartstopper, it just doesn’t seem up my alley and I’ve yet to check out young royals but a few people I follow post about it so maybe I’ll watch it and get into it like through osmosis lol. Like my book interest, the shows I watch are skewed more towards sci-fi, thrillers,  psychological, horror and sometimes comedy dramas! One of the best shows I’ve watched this year is The Devils Hour and then in all honesty, one of the best shows I’ve seen in literal years this year is Severance, starring Adam Scott. Barry is very good too!! There’s tons more but of course I can’t seem to remember them atm.

For pets I’ve only ever had dachshunds and pitbulls! Would you believe that the dachshund was the meanest one out of the two? He was an old man who had no problem biting !!! And good answer! That transition period is a good one, I love it.

Alright, speed round again!! If you could pick, what would be your dream thing to do for the rest of your life? Like if you could do anything, logistics not factoring in. Like for me, I’d love to be somewhat of a NatGeo photographer I just think it would be amazing. Do you play any video games? If so what’s your favorite? Even if you don’t play do you have a favorite to watch others play? Do you have a topic you could rant about at any time? For me it’s the decline of physical media recently. I love to rant about it because it breaks my heart and I have a love for it. And I could rant about some characters as well buuut I feel that’s not as the same. One last one here, if you play Mario party games, who do you tend to pick as your player?

Hope this message reaches you well and that you’ve had a lovely day! Again, sorry for the length, I know it’s not a big deal but I can’t help but apologize! I just feel the need to reply to everything and just rant and chat!

-🎉❄️

Hello, hun!! Hope your weekend was a nice and relaxing one!!✨

I would literally do anything for the pink self-titled just so I can say that I have it!! It’s so pretty and you are such a lucky person to be able to obtain it!! If you don’t mind, I would love to see a picture of it!! 🥺

I have the little 7” midnight memories picture disc that has the midnight memories single on one side and Rock Me (Live) on the other!! I can’t wait until they press the whole album on vinyl! If urban outfitters does decide to press it, they really should make it red instead of having four being red!! They could have pressed four in like a brown that resembled wood, if that makes any sense!! Or they could have pressed it in Louis blue, as I love to call it lol. I think it would go very well with the color scheme at the time!! If they do decide to do it in a neon yellow, I wouldn’t mind cause I actually enjoy the color yellow lol.

Honestly, I would love that!! We could listen to it together while talking about how much self-tiled was a cultural reset on our society as we know it lol. What’s your favorite track off of self-titled? Mine would have to be a tie between Only Angel and Meet Me in the Hallway!! I could also ask your favs. on the other boy’s albums!!?!? Louis’ would be fearless, walls, Chicago, all this time, miss you, the list goes on!! Niall’s would be heartbreak weather (single), still, and mirrors!! For zayn, I have too many favorites, so for the sake of this ask, I’m gonna say the entirety of Icarus Falls!! Liam’s music doesn’t really intrigue me as much as the other boys, but I do enjoy his song slow!!

I was also someone who didn’t really leave the states unless it was to go to Puerto Rico to visit family, so Italy was truly an experience I will hold near and dear in my heart, even though it was a very short lived trip!! I’d say if you have the opportunity to go, please do!! I recommend!!

I haven’t heard many things about severance, but I have seen some people talk about it here and there, so I would like to look more into it as well as the devils hour!!

I believe you when you say that the smaller dogs are the most expressive and outgoing ones compared to the larger ones!! Pitbulls are just gentle giants while smaller breeds like chihuahuas and dachshunds can be the meanest little things!! My grandmother has a little chihuahua, but she’s the nicest little old lady you would ever lay your eyes on!! She has her moments, but I would die for her!!

Speed Round!! I thoroughly enjoy these speed round questions, so keep them coming lol. I’ll do my best to answer them!! Dream job w/ no logistics? Honestly, if I can just hang out with animals and get paid for it, I would!! When you said you would be a NatGeo photographer, that’s such a good answer!! To say something a little different, I would probably teach art to high schoolers, but without the added stress of having to be a higher education instructor!!

Video Games!? Oh, honey, I love me a good video game!! To hit two birds with one stone, I can talk about video games for hours!! As of right now, I haven’t been playing too many things, but the most recent games I’ve been playing have been Legend of Zelda: Breathe of the Wild and Cult of the Lamb!! I also really enjoy the Pokémon franchise, I would also say I can go on and on about Pokémon through a video game/aesthetic standpoint!! I feel the most comfortable playing games that resemble farming RPGs where you have to farm for items in order to progress. If you haven’t played many games before, I highly recommend Stardew valley!! It’s very good and it has such an in-depth story element to it!! My favorite video game character of all time has to be Kirby!! I truly love all things Kirby!! Lol. I do also love to watch people play video games I know I, myself, could never play just out of pure skill level that I don’t have for those types of genres. Markiplier/Jacksepticeye are the first two who ring a bell, but I’m also trying to branch out and find more people who record lets plays!! Mario Party/Kart Main? I am a hoe for Yoshi!! Every time my friends and I play, I have two be one of two options: Yoshi or Bowser Jr. If this paragraph didn’t already explain that I can go on for much longer, then idk what will lol.

I agree with you 10000% in terms of declining physical media!! I missed having physical things that I can hold onto to acquire that memory of a specific time in my life!! That’s probably why I have to many trinkets due to not being able to have many of them when I was younger, but now having adult money, I can literally buy what I please!! Because of this, over quarantine is when I started to pick up cd/vinyl collecting that I missed out on when I was younger!! I’ve always wanted to have all the 1d cds in physical form (now I do and I have them all in a frame on my dresser in my room!!). What physical media do you miss the most?

Keep the long asks coming!! I really am enjoying the conversation as time goes on!! 🎄✨

[greysmu]

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[wakaoujisenhime]

Hi Hi could I request Kuroko, Kagamai, Akashi, Midorima and Murasakibara reaction to their s/o who's into photography and loves to take photos of them because they think their the most beautiful muse. They say things like "the light is hitting you perfectly please don't move until I take this picture." something like that lol

A/N: anon…this, THIS is a masterpiece of an idea and I love you for it (๑♡⌓♡๑) please enjoy! ♥️

Tags: the boys [KKMMA] x reader ✅ SFW ✅ fluff ✅

━━━━☆ ━━━━☆ ━━━━☆

Kuroko:

ok so the first time you took a picture of him was during lunch break

since he usually likes to spend his free time in the classroom while eating his homemade bento, the moment you became a couple you’d always join him

one day you were a bit late because one of the teachers had held you up, so you quickly texted him an apology for your delay and told him you’d be there soon so he can start eating without you

when you finally arrived, you immediately proceeded to apologize but promptly shut your mouth as you saw the scenery before you

Kuroko was reading one of his many novels, his elbows propped on the very edges of his desk, bento box and chopsticks untouched before him, blue eyes fixated on the text before him

everything about this was perfect as is, but what really gripped you and made you unconsciously reach for your camera, that you always had dangling from your neck, was the way the morning sun hit his face casting an ever so small shadow that only further accentuated his beautiful and calm facial features

as if in trance you gently push the small button on top of your camera and the shutter goes off

surprised by the sudden sound he turned his head in your direction and wanted to greet you but you cut him off even before he uttered a single syllable: “Tetsu, don’t move! The way the sun hits the back of your head right now is perfect…I just need to take a picture so bear with me for a moment.”

the way you had your left arm outstretched to stop any of his movements while your eyes were hidden behind the small rectangular object didn’t stop your boyfriend’s light blush to spread across his cheeks

he wasn’t used to being the only one in a photo so that alone made him a little nervous and embarrassed, but your silent comments and compliments on how his hair looked even more remarkable under the sunlight or how his facial features managed to perfectly cast shadows on his face that made him look more mature made his heart race faster than any game

luckily for your lover, this situation showed him another side of you that he rarely got to see, and who was he to interrupt your adorable mumbling just because of his embarrassment?

.

since then you used any and every opportunity to take his photo, whether it was in Maji Burger as he drank his usual smoothie or when he waited for you in front of a fountain in the park where you scheduled your date

when he finally asked you about it you proudly announced: “I’m sorry, but I can’t help the fact that my lover is such an amazing model for basically any type of photo! I always thought that you were hiding your beauty beneath those bangs and turns out I was absolutely right!”

you continued showering him with compliments until he couldn’t take it anymore and shut you up with a gentle kiss

“If it weren’t for your keen eye, I could’ve continued hiding myself and avoid the other’s gazes”

“Do you hate being the center of attention that much?” you whispered out, your eyes directly peering into his own big ones

with a smile he gently caresses your cheek and answers: “Your attention is all I need.”

Kagami:

Kagami was aware of your fascination for photography, I mean how could he not be when every time the two of you were out together for different reasons, you’d always take your camera with you and snap a photo or two

what he wasn’t aware of though, was what or better said who the subject of your images was

every time you reached for your camera the lens was always aimed in his direction and it never bothered him, because he figured that you were taking a photo of the scenery behind him so he never bothered to pose, smile, or anything of that sort

one day though it made him wonder whether his presence might disturb whatever images you’d taken so the next time you aimed your camera he turned his head, looking directly into the object’s circular lens, and just as he was about to say something the familiar sound of the shutter shut him up

“Perfect…that might be the best one yet” you silently praised and smiled to yourself

W-Wait a second…

“(Y/N)?”

“Hm?”

“What did you just photograph?”

you looked at him with slightly wide eyes, confusion spreading across your face as you answered: “Why of you of course”

and that’s when it clicked

all this time you’d taken pictures of what he thought to be the nature and scenery but in actuality, it was him you’d focused on

“W-Wait! You mean to t-tell me that I wasn’t in the way of your photos a-and that you actually photographed–“

before he could finish his sentence he realized something else that made him blush even harder

Perfect…Absolutely breathtaking…I’m so glad that I took my camera with me…The lighting and wind make you even prettier…What tranquility and gentleness, I’m in love…You’re so beautiful

all these comments that he’d brushed off, thinking that they were some kind of weird quirk of yours that resembled his captain’s whenever he talked about his samurai series, now made perfect sense

when the reality of the situation hit him he couldn’t help but bury his face in his hands and grunt at his stupidness, meanwhile, you tried to wrap your head around what Kagami had been believing up until today

looking at him being that frustrated with himself made you chuckle, but it also made you feel bad since you never directly told him so you decided that now might be the best time

with a gentle smile, you once again raised the camera to your face, waited until his figure became the focus and blurred the background, and gently pressed down the shutter

the sound made the young man beside you flinch and ever so hesitantly glance up to you with a dreading expression on his face

after pushing some of the buttons you cozy up to your boyfriend until your shoulders touched and showed him the image you had just taken with a proud smile

“I’m sorry for not telling you about it, but if I shared the fact that you’re my muse with you, you probably would’ve never allowed me to take any” you reasoned as you looked into his eyes and observed the way his cheeks reddened the moment you called him your muse

“I’m your muse…?”

you nodded and showed him a few other photos that all showed him do average everyday things such as eating something, chatting on his phone, warming up, etc. and even though they weren’t that special, the way you managed to capture him, his expression, and even some of the background made them all look professional

“Taiga, you’re such a nice guy that you would’ve probably offered to be my model if I had asked you to, but I wanted to capture that raw beauty of yours, the one that you display on every basketball match and that was the only way to do it…or at least that’s what I thought”

you paused before returning to the most recent image

“Having you being aware might be better after all…just look here at the way your eyes sparkle and your posture, both tense and relaxed at the same time gives off the impression of confidence and a tinge of uncertainty, both summing up your profound character that I love so much”

listening to your explanation made his heart beat harder against his chest and to stop you from fawning even more he covered your camera with his big hand and murmured: ”I-It’s fine already…I get it”

after seeing yet another unexpected expression on your boyfriend’s face you tried to get another shot of him, but this time he tried his best to avoid you and the two of you ended up chasing each other around the park, attracting the attention of many fellow visitors, but to you, it was as if only Kagami and you existed

Midorima:

one afternoon during the end of basketball practice, you had joined your green-haired boyfriend with his supplementary exercises, observing him and the perfect way he shoots one three-pointer after the other

you’d asked him long ago whether it was alright with him to take his photo and despite the many protests he’d agreed under the condition that it happened during basketball practice

unfortunately, the way he played didn’t manage to ignite the spark you needed to snap that one photo you’ve always been hoping for, neither his skills nor his playstyle were to blame for that, there was just something missing that you couldn’t name

the way you sighed caught Midorima’s attention and made him stop mid-throw so that he could take a glance in your direction and when he saw the disappointed face you made it made his heart ache

“Is something the matter (Y/N)?” he suddenly asked as he sat beside you, towel in one hand and his drinking bottle in the other

you shook your head and tried to play it off, blaming your bad mood on one of your earlier classes and the complaisant boyfriend he was he let it go (also partially because he was afraid that if he prodded further you’d get mad)

out of the corner of your eyes, you could see how he took off his glasses and started cleaning them

and that’s when your heart throbbed

the way his long fingers carefully handled the fragile black frames, the skillful and cautious way he removed any speck of dust from the glass, mixed with the way some of his green hair’s strands stuck to his slightly sweaty forehead, and lastly his beautiful long eyelashes were what won you over

before you knew it, you had grabbed your camera and had taken a photo of his profile, the shutter’s sound startling both him and you

“D-Did you just take a ph–”

“Shush! Stay just like that!” you blurted out, your hand on his chest to restrict his movements and keep him in that exact pose he was right now

with a reluctant expression on his face, he avoided looking in your direction, hoping that you wouldn’t notice the light blush spreading across his cheeks, meanwhile you smiled to yourself at his futile attempt and once again snapped another picture…

.

thanks to that one coincidental photo you managed to take back then, you finally knew what you have been missing all this time, namely your boyfriend being himself and not the Midorima Shintaro from Shuutoku who never missed a shot

in order to achieve that “normality” you had to take as many sneaky shots as possible, but they unfortunately never stayed as secretive as you would’ve wanted them to be because he either caught you mid-photo or your own comments betrayed you

Just like that Shin, look more to the side!

Leave your glasses be, you’re even more beautiful without them!

Don’t touch your hair! The way it is right now compliments your face perfectly!

Even if you scowl at me, you still look good!

he’d always run up to you afterward, blushing at the entire situation and no matter how much he ended up protesting, scolding you, or trying to take the camera from you to delete the photos, he never truly was upset about it

the reason Midorima let it all slide was because he enjoyed the way you smiled when you looked at the images you’d taken

the way your eyes practically sparkled mixed with the slight flush of your cheeks made his heart race every single time

“Is something wrong Shin? You’ve been staring at my face for quite a while.”

embarrassed of being caught by you, he squeezed your nose and stuttered: “I-It’s nothing, k-keep looking at y-your photos!”

Murasakibara:

taking Murasakibara’s pictures wasn’t an issue, you simply asked him and he agreed with no resistance whatsoever

you were over the moon at first and even made sure to have your camera with you at all times so that when an opportunity presented itself you’d be ready

from a pedestrian’s point of view, you looked like a cute touristic couple which consisted of the somewhat bored boyfriend, who agreed to have his photos taken for your happiness, and you, who couldn’t hold the excitement of being together with this young man back while happily snapping one pic after the other

their thoughts weren’t that off from the truth, you truly were delighted to be able to practice your hobby, and even having the tall young man as your model made it even better

thanks to the amount of muscles he’d gained from his daily basketball training, his height, his beautifully long and purple hair, his constantly relaxed expression, and his surprisingly gentle facial features, your boyfriend was already photogenic as is so any photo you took was downright breathtaking

and yet, those fulfilling feelings were rather short-lived

as time went by and you shot one photo after the other you came to realize that you hadn’t managed to take a single photo where he genuinely smiled or grinned

getting him to do either was nearly impossible, even for you

all you ever managed to summon was a very loving and gentle smile that resembled that of an angel; it was so pure that you could read all of his emotions from it, but that smile was reserved for your cuddle sessions that always ended up with him almost crushing you with his embrace and his low giggles as the result to your mixed reactions

“(Y/N)-chin, let’s go over there and sit down…I can’t walk anymore”

you giggled and took his hand that he’d extended to you, following him to a bench that was protected by a couple of trees, which cast down a perfect shadow on the wooden surface

the young man plopped down as if he’d ran for hours without a single break and wrapped his big arms around your waist, burying his face in your tummy

his childish behavior made you giggle and you softly caressed his head

“Didn’t you want to eat your snacks?” you asked after a short while, only to receive a silent growl as an answer

“Let me stay like this for a while…please”

his cute way of pleading with you only broadened your smile, which turned it into a grin as soon as an idea popped into your mind

with one hand still on his head, you used the other to aim the camera lens at the young man’s head as you asked your lover to look up at you

it took him a short while to comply because he kinda had the feeling that you wanted to ask for yet another photo, but he ultimately gave in and cast his purple eyes up to you

still smiling you glanced at the small screen on your camera in order to make sure that everything was perfect when you subconsciously blurted out: “Everything about you is charming Atsushi, the way the wind caresses your hair, perfectly accentuating your gentle face’s features…I’m so glad to have you as my muse”

…

…

your eyes went wide as you noticed the change in his expression

his cheeks had taken on an unexpected shade of deep red, one that you’ve never seen on him before; his eyes were a bit glassy and maybe equally as wide as yours, and his mouth was slightly agape

“Wha-! What are you saying (Y/N)-chin?!” he screamed out and once again hid his face before you could manage to snap a picture of this rare expression

“Atsushi, wait don’t hide! Let me take a photo!”

your protests fell on deaf ears and no matter how much you struggled or tried to loosen his grip around your waist, his strength made sure to make all of your attempts futile

“I-If I let you see me like that…I won’t be cool in your eyes anymore a-and I don’t want that” he finally admitted in a low voice

it took you a short while to comprehend what exactly he was trying to say; and when you did you couldn’t hold your laughter in any longer, ruffled his hair, and kissed the top of his head, waiting until he had regained his composure and returned your affectionate gestures

Akashi:

having the famous Emperor as your lover was like a dream, but when it came to keeping things a secret you were at a clear disadvantage because this man read you like an open book

no matter how hard you tried to act innocent or clueless, he’d always be able to add two and two together and expose whatever you were hiding within a matter of minutes

same goes for your fondness of photography and the fact that you had your eyes set on him as your muse

one day when you visited his home the two of you were in the living room and he was playing a round of shogi against himself while you sorted your camera’s gallery

when you took a glance at the young man your heart throbbed

the soft light of the sun that managed to come forth between the many clouds of that day shone right at him; in order to block the light from disturbing his vision, he’d leaned his chin on his hand and let his fingers extend to the corner of his mesmerizing eyes; a soft smile adorned his lips as his left hand stretched out to move one of the many wooden pieces before him

you couldn’t help it and immediately proceeded to take a picture, successfully catching him off guard

“Did you take a picture of me?” he asked without shifting his line of sight from the board, a hint of amusement in his voice

“Mhm, I did…sorry” you apologized before sighing to yourself, “it’s just that you looked really beautiful and I thought it’d be a shame if I didn’t use the opportunity.”

being called beautiful was something he wasn’t used to, so as he heard that word pass your lips, he froze up and finally tore his attention away from the game, and now gazed at you with a warm smile

“You can take more if you’d like.”

“R-Really?”

and with that, he became your conspirator in your mission to take as many photos of him as your camera’s storage could handle

.

“Just like that Sei…look more to the lef- yes, perfect!”

you spat one command after the other as the young man before you held onto the reins of his gorgeous white horse and let his hand gently run along the animal’s head

after snapping a few more photos you looked at them in silence, an unusual scene for your boyfriend

“Is something the matter (Y/N)? Aren’t you satisfied with these?”

your head shot up and you violently shook your head, explaining that it was nothing and you were just lost in thought; even though he quickly realized that you weren’t telling the truth, he chose to keep silent until you were ready to tell him what truly bothered you

unexpectedly, your silence lasted longer than he’d hoped for and no matter how unique he tried to organize these little photo sessions you did, your mood never seemed to improve which frustrated him

when he saw you sitting on the couch all sad and unmotivated while you scrolled through your camera roll, he immediately turned around and went back outside to his garden to mull over ways in which he could help you out

so to distract himself, he picked up his basketball, started dribbling, and began perfecting his shooting

the sound of the ball hitting the wall caught your attention, causing you to get up and search for its source

when you opened the front door you were greeted by a similar sight as the one back when you’d first taken Akashi’s photo which made you smile

“Sei-chan, that’s what I was looking for” you whispered as you subconsciously took a photo of the exact moment where the young man jumped and gently threw the ball against the wall, simulating a layup shot

still unaware of your presence the young man wiped his sweat with his shirt’s collar and the moment he felt your arms wrap around his body he jumped ever so slightly

before he could ask you anything, let alone say something, you kissed his cheek and whispered: “I knew it…you’re always beautiful, but the moment you shine the brightest is when you’re being yourself”

moved by your words he turned around, returning your embrace and kissing your lips as he then proceeded to hide his blushing face and glassy eyes from you by pressing you closer to himself

[shuajeong]

Winnie

↠ you and joshua take a trip to disneyland with your children, lucas (4) and lily (2)

pairing: joshua x fem!reader

⌟ fluff, dad shua, slice of life

word count: 1.2k

↠ dt: @sunflowergyeomie the literal joshua to my jeonghan 🌻 thanks for letting me steal the idea from our many convos 🥺😚

a/n: some parts of this is kind of meh but dad shua is making me feel things 🥺 and ughsjsjdhs he’d be the cutest dad 🥺😓

You couldn’t help the goofy grin that adorned your face as you sat admiring your family, more specifically Joshua sat with your kids Lucas and Lily. Lily was sat in her dads lap after refusing to sit in the chair the restaurant provided for her whilst Lucas sat next them occupied with his colouring. The four of you had come to Disneyland as a little break and getaway from reality for a few days hoping to relax and spend quality time as a family.

Right now it seemed difficult with Lily having refused to sit anywhere but her dads lap, which of course Joshua didn’t mind. As much as you’d hoped she’d be mummy’s girl she’s very much daddy’s princess and has Joshua wrapped around her little finger.

“Whatcha looking at?” Joshua had a smirk on his face when he caught your eyes “you find this sexy don’t you?” Whilst hugging both the kids bringing Lucas closer to him who was still focused on his colouring. You scoffed and before you could reply Lily’s food went all over her, Joshua forgetting that he’s meant to be feeding her. “Now that’s real sexy” you scooped Lily into your arms before more mess could made “what did your daddy do you huh” you cooed at her “dadda” she replied pointing at Joshua. Telling Joshua that you would quickly change your daughter you told him to meet you at the characters to which Lucas perked up dragging his dad to his feet wanting to meet Mickey Mouse. “Come on dad let’s go! Quick!”

Upon returning from changing Lily, your fussy darling daughter (who wanted her dad) you found your husband and son in the middle of their pic with Mickey Mouse. Even after four years you’re still not used to the fact Lucas is Joshua’s carbon copy, it’s the cutest thing ever especially now that he’s getting older. As you walked closer to wait for them you saw other families waiting who were gushing about how cute the two were. You couldn’t help the sense of pride you felt as they are your boys.

“Mummy! Mummy! I met buzz!” Lucas screamed running towards you “but that was mi-” Joshua was quick to cut you off in telling you they did meet buzz before meeting Mickey. Something Joshua also noticed was the drained look on your face and lack of enthusiasm “Honey what’s wrong?” You just looked at him before Lily started whining again telling him to take her to which she almost instantly calmed down, curling up in the crook of Joshua’s neck with her tiny hands clasped around his shirt. Looking at the two made your heart swell, how you got so lucky with Joshua being such an attentive, caring dad. You would think that with your kids different ages it’s easier to attend to one over the other. Not in Joshua’s book, he’s able to match Lucas’s outbursts of energy and follows along with each new hobby he picks up, telling you he wants to be just like his dad. All this whilst Josh is also able to be more gentle and caring towards your little Lily. He even goes as far as dressing up in ridiculous outfits definitely not from your wardrobe just to get her to laugh. He really wasn’t and isn’t scared of being a father and plays up to the role really, if their even is one.

The four of you continued to meet other characters. Originally just for your children, you and Josh couldn’t help picking out ones that you grew up watching. It was then that Joshua’s eyes widened as you came across another set of characters. He stopped mid sentence staring in awe of what he saw in front of him. You turned to follow his gaze and wish you hadn’t as of course he spotted Winnie the Pooh aka his favourite character. You were mumbling to yourself why he had to see that opportunity knowing that if he had his way he would spend hours there. ��Honey please we have to get a photo!” He finally turned to you pouting “you mean YOU have to get a photo” He scoffed at your correction “same thing” You were about to let Josh have his chance at meeting Winnie if it weren’t for the tugging on your hand coming from Lucas who had seen a ride he wanted to go on. Eventually Josh had agreed that you would go on some rides (child friendly) before coming back to his beloved Winnie. However, what you didn’t realise was that Lucas had noticed his dad wanting to meet Winnie the Pooh and his love for the character. He decided to annoy his dad a little bit by longing out how long it would be til meeting Winnie. He was a smart kid.

After what felt like years of going on rides that Lucas was aloud on, Joshua was the one starting to have no interest becoming worried that he would miss his chance to meet Winnie. You swear you have a third child. “C’mon buddy, you must be tired by now” he exclaimed to Lucas who was showing his dad an innocent smile. It was then Joshua knew about his sons plan and proceeded to pick up a squealing Lucas as he tickled him throwing him up in the air. You could only laugh at the antics of your boys as you didn’t want to be dragged into whatever crazy game they now had going on.

You guys were next in line waiting to be called up before Lucas said that he didn’t a photo saying how his dad should get it by himself since Winnie is his favourite character. Both you and Joshua couldn’t believe what you heard from your four year old but really weren’t surprised. Joshua ended up getting his photo which was absolutely adorable, you couldn’t tell who was cuter, him or Winnie, probably Winnie but he didn’t know that. “Honey! Why don’t you come here” Joshua had called you over for a photo but you had Lily in your arms which the photographer didn’t mind. Upon hearing honey Winnie’s expression changed, they got all giddy and placed his hands onto his face moving about in excitement. You couldn’t help the laugh that you let out but Joshua’s nickname for you did in fact come from Winnie the Pooh. There isn’t much to it other than he loves Winnie and finds you very cute.

Right before the photo was taken, Lucas walked over from his spot next to the photographer and Lily wanted to be let down to stand by her dad. Smiling, you both squatted down to hug your children from behind whilst Winnie wrapped his arms around you securing you all in a hug. It was a really cute photo and even though Lucas wouldn’t admit it, he did love Winnie the Pooh just as much as his dad.

[diavolosthots]

I'm not sad but I figured it was time to continue these. Also shoutout to you if you catch the little easter egg of his character song in this!!!

ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚LEVIATHAN proposing headcanons ˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ

MaRrIaGe iS fOr NoRmIeS 

But he can’t deny that when it comes to you, he’ll gladly be a normie, just this once. 

In all honesty, he was completely content with just the boyfriend/girlfriend/significant other label just because it already took him forever to get to this point…. Marriage is a whole other ball game he isn’t sure he’s qualified for. 

It came randomly too, the urge to marry you

Probably a late night anime marathon and you chose a harem and or just a really cheesy adventure-turned-romance flick and here we are. 

He really just thought about the idea of ‘forever’ with you and… well…. He liked it 

Don’t get me wrong, though. It’ll take forever for him to actually propose. 

Say…. you’ve been with him for 5 years. Solid time, right? Yeah add another 15 to that before he can get the courage to get on his knee and not cover it up by tying his shoe or finding a random penny on the ground. 

He’s just so nervous! What if you finally found out that he’s nothing more than a yucky otaku? What is he gonna do then? Make a fool of himself? He can’t! He’s already a fool! He can’t afford to look more foolish! 

It’s… this doubt and lack of self confidence that has manifested itself in the back of his mind millennia ago. It’s hard to let go. 

But at the same time, he’s SO sure that it is you whom he wants to spend the rest of his life with, or yours, whichever comes first. 

He’s had the ring for months. Years. Probably a decade by now, but he was never unsure about it. He knew that THIS is the ring for you and by God he was going to deliver it… at some point. 

The ring is white gold with a princess cut topaz and a twisted split leading up the gem. The twists themselves have small diamonds on them; not too many, not too little. It’s simple compared to some of the other ones, but he believes it represents the two of you and it also reminds him of the ocean, which is where he feels most at home. 

The ring was never the problem

Finding the words to propose was. 

He’d like to do it alone; just the two of you. However, he will hint at it toward Lucifer in hopes that the eldest would A.) pick up on it and B.) somehow manage to capture pictures of the moments. In secret. From far away. 

Lucifer told Diavolo and Diavolo has a whole team of photographers hiding because the Demon Lord is SHOOK that the third born would ever do something like this 

Honestly thought it was a joke at first 

Anyway, chances are, Levi is going to take you to some body of water; a pond, the lake, the ocean, a nice stream in the middle of the forest 

Of course, it’d be done under the moonlight; no exceptions. The less you can see him, the better 

pspspsps---> I HC demons have nightvision of some sorts so he can see YOU very well

He’ll most likely be super quiet during the whole talk, which may or may not be good because that means you get to talk a lot! Unless you’re not a talker… in which case we’ll have a problem 

He’s kind of counting on you to talk right now so he can think about how he wants to do it 

“What’s wrong, Levi?”

But it’s so obvious that something is wrong, right? He can’t hide it anymore and he’ll take literally every ounce of confidence he’s ever possessed to stop dead in his tracks and take your hands in his 

“Listen (Y/N)....” He can’t even look at you but he’ll force himself to look between your eyes to at least be nice about it, ya know? 

“I…. I suck at this, what am I even doing…? No! No don’t.. Don’t tell me otherwise. You deserve so much better and I know that. I know you know that, but… I don’t think I can ever have better than you. You’re the best, you’re…. You’re my Ruri-chan… but like, in real life! You’re breathing and your own persona and--! And… I guess what I’m trying to say is…”

He reaches into his pocket to pull out the little ring box that has been there for literal ages, before getting down on one knee and looking up at you with hopeful, but somewhat scared, eyes…

“What I’m trying to say is that…. This is for normies… But if they got one thing right, it’s that everyone… everyone deserves a chance… at happiness and love, and you are that chance. You’re My Chance. I… I love you more than anything, anyone,... And I can’t… I can’t take the chance of you leaving me one day. You deserve so much better than me.... So much better... But I wouldn’t know what to do. I need you by my side, to be weird together. I need you to continue loving me and holding me and telling me that I’m not just a yucky otaku because no matter how much I disagree, you seem to see differently and it… it helped so much. You changed me so much. I love you, (Y/N), please… will you marry me?” 

[one-way-dream]

Sanctuary - One-Shot

Rating: Teen And Up (15+)

Words: 13000+

Media: Danganronpa, Super Danganronpa 2: Goodbye Despair

Pairing: Hajime Hinata/Nagito Komaeda

Characters/Relationships: Hajime Hinata & Chiaki Nanami, Mahiru Koizumi/Hiyoko Saionji (Mentioned), Kazuichi Souda, Ibuki Mioda, Sonia Nevermind, Izuru Kamukura, Future Foundation (Mentioned), Class 77-B (Mentioned)

Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Light Angst, Recovery, Post-Canon, Mentions of intrusive thoughts (self-harm) but not prevalent, Mental Health Issues, Komahina Secret Exchange, Crushes, Confessions (Full tags listed on AO3)

Warnings: Intrusive thoughts, thoughts of self-harm

Chapter: 1/1

Link to the original work

AO3 Summary/Excerpt:

Someone like Komaeda in the Neo World Program, full of hysterics and twisted tongues and horrible ideals that had truly rolled the game into motion – someone he never fathomed to forgive or trust another day, and yet, when he looks at the same man now, he’s overcome with the strangest feeling of hope. Dare he say happiness, even.

Happiness for the fact that they had all slowly brought out the best within themselves despite their trauma and loss.

The hope that contrasted so starkly against their despair, much like the hardships in any average person’s life tends to illuminate the good. It gave him peace of mind, for their second chance at life.

--

Written for the Komahina Exchange 2019 (Spring/Summer) for June (notcoolhajime/tamemaki)!

Like most things people call unpredictable, Hinata was certain that his affinity for the unknown, which he considered to be curiosity, really would land him into trouble one day or another.

Though truthfully, he could consider the fact that calling them ‘unpredictable’ in this day and age would be discrediting the progress they’d made since the simulation.

Said progress included days with unspoken calamity sticking under everyone’s skin, leaving nothing but utter chaos in their wake, when even one person was pushed over the peak of their cracking eggshell a bit too early.

They were tired, naturally. Broken limbs and fractured souls and disbelieving eyes, with the distinct scent of a musty kind of smoke permeating the air every now and then even till this day, if only there to taunt them.

But of course, it was a lot to process after the hell they’d been through, and it had taken every bit of those five years to finally make some degree of an inch of difference.

Some days tended to be worse than others, however. Even leading Hinata to occasionally subject himself as a rag doll to merely appease Saionji from bullying Tsumiki to tears every day. In those times, Koizumi proved herself to be some godsent blessing with the gifted ability to calm the storm in mere seconds, compared to Hinata’s droning hours of consolation. Still, nothing could bite more than the exasperated glare the Ultimate Photographer would snipe at him – if Hinata thought about it, it was not unlike saying, “This is why I can’t trust you useless boys to do anything right.” Quite frankly, Hinata sometimes wished he could share the same sentiment, especially in despite of his goodness-believing heart.

But even on their worst days, Hinata considered himself lucky that despite taking on the burden of helping each of his classmates overcome their problems, they all understood that everyone was making a conscious effort to be kinder to themselves, making an effort to change themselves. Well… Almost everyone.

“Oh! Hinata-kun, there you are!” And of course, as if on cue, he would show up. And there it was… that pestering bubbling heat and increased heartrate yet again. All that for an oft rambling and hope-obsessed clown. Hinata lifted his gaze from the restaurant table to meet Komaeda, a gentle smile playing on his face, not unlike a warm greeting. Though the boy in question seemed rather… out of breath than usual. “Were you looking for me?” ‘Is that why you’re panting and paler than a bottle of baby powder’ was the other snarking question he meant to ask, but Nanami had already told him off for being too blunt earlier that morning when he’d accidentally made Tsumiki cry. He wasn’t particularly fond of getting chewed out every time he opened his phone or laptop for work, only to find her glaring angrily back at him through the screen.

Despite being the usually kind-hearted and hyper-realistic AI that he and Naegi managed to restore, she sure was… firm, at times. “Kindness is everything in these times, Hinata-kun!” she’d spoken true and befitting as the self-proclaimed Jabberwock Island peacemaker; not to mention, Hinata’s impulse control. Komaeda quietly tucked his hands into the pockets of his green jacket, shaking the hood off from his mess of white hair. The same green jacket he’d worn throughout the program, the same green jacket that he almost never takes off. “Well, actually, Naegi-kun is waiting for you outside. He has a shipment for us because of the, uh… rather unexpected weather.” “…Unexpected weather?” Hinata’s voice lilted in a bit of alarm, “Was there supposed to be a typhoon?”

Apparently, judging from the mystified look on the other’s face, Hinata stood corrected. Still, a small but nervous smile played on his lips, “Not… really? I mean, you see–"

“IT’S SNOWING BALLS DEEP, MY GUY!”

Mioda’s voice hollered out seemingly nowhere, booming through the opened doors was more like an electric jolt bouncing off the walls of the restaurant, loud enough to make both Komaeda and Hinata nearly jump out of their skin. Then again… that kind of volume was something they had yet to get used to, despite living alongside the embodiment of an amplified sugar-rush.

And there wasn’t a surprise in the world that could make Komaeda look paler than a ghost, because as usual, he’s no more than a few tones shy of looking like a ghost. But to his credit, he had seemed healthier than he did in the program. But putting that aside, to Hinata, her line struck him as rather… peculiar, as he furrowed his eyebrows. Almost incredulous. Almost like she said…

“It’s... what?” In an instant, the Ultimate Musician marched up till she was merely inches from the other’s face, slapping two hands on both cheeks just to squish them a little as if they were mochi. According to Hinata, saying that her magenta eyes were excitedly sparkling with one-hundred volts of energy would be a criminal understatement, even.

“Ssssssnnnooooooooowwww,” she spoke, dragging out her syllables with surprisingly more patience than Hinata could ever consider her capable of. “Snow! It’s snow, Hajime-chan. It’s snowing, Haji—” “Ya-huh.” Hinata’s voice dripped in sarcasm, or rather disbelief, “And this here is literally a tropical island.” Even looking outside to the window of the restaurant, it was hard to tell if it was true or not – the skies were clear and blue, after all. He’d have noticed something wrong with the weather in the morning, wouldn’t he? Komaeda’s lips ghosted something like a grin, “You’re not wrong to be suspicious of a claim like that. That’s what I thought so too, but Naegi-kun came by with winter jackets for us because of the unexpected snowfall. That’s what I was trying to tell you earlier.”

When their eyes met, the gears in Hinata’s mind slowly clicked together every bit of information. Not that he really needed to anyway, as when Komaeda began to shrug off his jacket, it was clear that the poor guy had been out of breath and shivering from being trapped in nothing less than a frosty snowstorm. Still…

A vibration in his pocket. Hinata immediately knew who it was. “Hinata-kun!” Nanami’s muffled voice resonated as he reached for his pocket, “Good morning, I just woke up a little while ago, but I happened to overhear!” Nanami’s avatar on screen stood with her hands clasped together, eyes glowing with about an eighth of Mioda’s excitement, “I know you’re confused but, looking at the special weather report the Future Foundation relayed to me a few minutes ago, it looks like this is sort of a rare climatic condition on the real Jabberwock Island. Unlike the Neo World Program that almost always had sunny weather.”

She paused to ponder for a moment, “Ah, plus, you know, global warming… I think.” Hinata’s lips pressed firm, letting out a loud huff through his nose as he watched her expression slightly pixelated, change to a gentle, but thoughtful look through the phone screen. Nanami continued, “I know how much the cold bothers you, but… I’m pretty sure it’s not some kind of ploy by the people to make us miserable.”

There’s a slight lilt in her voice when she says that, almost amused, “It’s been years since you’ve all repaired the city anyway. I think, given the time of year, we should simply take it as it is and make the most of it.” “I absolutely concur, Nanami-san!” A familiar, regal voice chirped up the stairs from the lobby. Noticing upon her entrance, Sonia had already taken the liberty of dressing herself for the winter, apparently having dug into the new shipment of winter jackets, though Naegi himself was nowhere to be seen.

Being dressed in a baby blue faux-fur and silk trench coat, with Persian patterning at the hem and sleeve cuts, was rather fitting of her dignified but casual style as the Ultimate Princess. A voice from within Hinata’s head (that he didn’t want to hear) said that the Persian pattern ‘was actually and more specifically, an Iranian design, reminiscent of the Imam Mosque in the Isfahan province of Iran.’ Kamukura droned on like a bee humming by his ear, continuously supplying him with even more trivia as if he’d rehearsed the entire history of the Safavid dynasty for this very day. But by that point, Hinata had already turned the volume dial in his brain to zero; a setting that he wished would stay as the default, but alas, he knew he owed much to Kamukura anyway for how far they’d come as survivors of a killing game. Might as well give him some time to shine.

He figured that he’d be bored to death and back again if he too had to be sanctioned off to a corner of some mundane and talentless guy’s brain. Especially considering Kamukura’s lack of tolerance for uninteresting things, it’s a surprise he hadn’t gone into a hundred-year slumber to save himself the trouble of listening to Hinata. Or disintegrated from boredom before then anyway. Trailing significantly behind Sonia were Tanaka and Souda walking side by side, talking excitably about some new zoo tycoon game they’d heard about. Though with both having become surprisingly chummy in recent years, it wasn’t the most astounding sight to see. But granted, Hinata would be lying if he said it still didn’t make him smile a bit at least to see them joking around and sharing interests. Admittedly, it was both odd and endearing to see two former rivals in love (or rather, a genuine candidate and a one-sided lovestruck fool) become best friends. It had started off rather straightforward; clearly remembering the day Souda requested, insisted even, that he wanted to sit down with Tanaka and talk to him properly, saying that after taking time to reflect on the events of the past, he wished to apologize for his behaviour in the program and his treatment toward Sonia in the near future as well.

Surprisingly mature, Hinata had thought, and it turned out that the Ultimate Mechanic had in fact matured beyond his looks, greatly, through some damn near ground-breaking miracle. Souda had even taken it upon himself to recreate a miniature version of Nezumi Castle for Tanaka’s hamster companions as a token of friendship.

Saying Tanaka was pleased would, once again, be a rather grave understatement, so far as going to rather shyly pledging his lifelong companionship, in his own unique way, to the teary-eyed young man who’d bowed a full ninety degrees forward.

If he had to think about it, Komaeda really wasn’t the only one who had the power to make Hinata’s heart stir. Every time he would be lucky enough bear witness to a slightly kinder change in behaviour from his classmates, without fail, there would be a rush of warmth filling his chest.

Though undoubtedly a different feeling from the sensation that coursed through him, reserved for just that one person; but Hinata felt that he should digress from such thoughts when the boy in question was standing in front of him, unperturbed and unknowing of it all. Nonetheless, Hinata would rather have everyone get along in peace. He’d rather everyone build on from their pasts. They’d never be able to forget it, but at least they’d be able to learn from what had transpired.

At least they had another chance at life, right?

“Hinata-kun?” Yet again, that soothing voice brought his thoughts back to the present, grounded him. Komaeda was definitely still a work in progress when it came to being kinder to himself, but he had definitely grown to love his classmates wholeheartedly even disregarding the idea of talent. For now, this would do.

Grey eyes met green in curious concern, and a kind, rejuvenated smile rested on Hinata’s lips to reassure the other boy.

“It’s nothing.” A step closer, a little bolder, and he let his fingertips barely brush his shoulder,

“Why don’t we all head outside and just enjoy the day then?”

White. Just cold and white. There wasn’t a single damn inch as far as Hinata could see that wasn’t covered in snow.

Sure enough, as they stood there freezing with frigid air chilling and drying out their lungs, Naegi had sent them off with a wave accompanied by a dashing smile and a carefree, “See you later, don’t get sick in the cold, Hinata-kun!” leaving the winter supplies behind, heating system parts and all.

Easy for him to say, when he lived in an apartment funded by the Future Foundation. Rather easy for him to say, when he didn’t live on a crusty old island with parts breaking down every other day, hearing Souda breaking out into the hysterics of a banshee-like fit from witnessing his handiwork falling apart due to weathering and bad luck before his eyes.

Though, as always, Komaeda tended to topple the blame of faulty parts onto himself. A bit of a stupid and breathy, “Ahaha… what rotten luck for me to be around and cause so much misfortune on everyone again,” would come out of Komaeda’s mouth every second day, and with Souda curling into fetal position on the floor all the other days.

Hinata had always thought it to be the obviously visible rust and metal-eating acidic residue but, of course, what did he know?

The parts sent along to them were probably table scraps, he knew he could expect that much; despite all their work for the Future Foundation, even rebuilding the city with the rest of his class and doing additional charity and rehabilitation work for the survivors, there would still be passing comments a little too harsh for their own liking. Whether they were on the way to Naegi’s office, or running an errand for Kirigiri, there was always a snide comment or cold shoulder out of nothing but prejudice, but they’d gotten used to it by now. They just had to.

Undoubtedly, they were the ones to get the second-hand materials. Maybe they were still nothing more than an afterthought to them, discarded, removed from society’s ranks like used rags back onto the island where they’d tried to kill each other, though they voluntarily wished to come back. Even so, they were nothing more and nothing less than the Ultimate Despair.

However unkind the few cold-hearted were, over the years in and out of the city, at least most of the members had warmed up to them. Possibly a result of the tireless hours of labor, nursing those who became sickly back to health, and putting their lives on the line for the city they sought to destroy all those years ago, together.

It was the least they could do. Hinata knew by the sickly look on Imposter’s face, or the exhaustion lining both Kuzuryuu’s and Koizumi’s features, that they were all trying their damnedest to do their best and make up for the loss they’d caused. Even through their worst days, bickering and hair pulling and terror riding through their bones, they tried their best while rediscovering the bonds they had once forgotten. That earnestness in those seemingly hopeless yet hopeful days was all that mattered to him. That’s all that should matter to anyone at this point, if he could be honest with himself. Hinata found himself prying away from the rest of the class, most of whom stood around gawking and poking at the snow like school children seeing a heavy snowfall for the first time in their lives.

Taking hold of the box cutter Souda lent him from his toolkit, Hinata sliced open the top of the second box that remained unopened. Supposedly, these held the parts that he’d later let Souda tinker around with to build what Naegi said was a heating machine, and surprisingly enough, the bottom of the box and the snow under it wasn’t stained with rust. ‘Maybe we got parts that weren’t drenched in acid rain for once’ he found himself joking with a half-exasperated smirk on his face.

Though, if he were completely honest, it wasn’t farfetched from the usual truth at all. The new truth, however… “We got brand new parts?!”

Souda’s voice chirped, or rather, shrieked loud enough to be heard across a baseball stadium. To say Hinata was merely confused by such statement would be rather dry. And yet, there Souda was – eyes twinkling, almost bright enough to rival Mioda’s one-hundred volts, (though he’d sworn he heard her distant whooping about another machine in the box) immediately digging through steel parts like a fox leaping headfirst into snow if only to bury half its body in it.

A fond smile found its way to his face. Rather fitting, seeing as there was snow everywhere. Fitting, seeing how from his side profile whilst preoccupied with the fallen snow, Komaeda looked like he could be Souda’s arctic fox companion, ready to indulge in winter’s joy as well; complete with his sly demeanor, bright eyes, cunning wit and charm and… being that kind of unusual but infuriatingly attracti— “Ah, there’s also a note in here… Yo, Hinata, take care of this, would ya? It’s time for me to finally get cracking on some real machinery.”  Hinata’s head whipped back to Souda as he stood, watching him attempt to pop his knuckles but failing soundlessly, instead excitedly stretching his arms over his head now that he’s in his element at long last.

Throwing his hands on his hips and taking a heavy breath in, he looked just like an eager elementary school kid in spirit, just with the body of a 26-year-old, “Just like, look at this! It’s state of the art tech?! I can’t believe they got their hands on this, and I…” As nice as it was to see Souda excited, Kamukura or not, Hinata had no particular fancy in machine parts, especially something like air conditioning parts. But if Souda could practically get off to it, he really wouldn’t be one to stand in his way.

Yet again, he digressed from that mental image with a grimace on the inside and a polite smile paired with a thumbs up on the exterior. Not even Kamukura had the energy to interfere; for once, the two of them concluded unanimously with what could be summed up as, ‘Yeah, just let the man deal with it.’

The note, now in Hinata’s grasp, however, garnered an interest from both of them. “To the…” A pause. He blinked once, then twice. Was he reading this right? “To the… graduated class of 77-B… this, among some other incoming shipments, are our gift to you.” Hinata read out loud to everyone. It wasn’t the ‘Remnants of Despair’, it wasn’t a vaguely sugar-coated reference to ‘criminals’, it wasn’t any other biting remark or degrading comment they’d grit their teeth and smiled through during their grueling days of work. Simply, the graduated class of 77-B. “Despite our differences in the past few years, we here at the Future Foundation have come to acknowledge the efforts that you all have put into rebuilding the city.” Hinata paused, taking a deep breath, “In the past week or so, our dispatched team has done a thorough final cleaning, rehousing any remaining rehabilitated survivors into the buildings that you all have helped to rebuild. There is no longer any need for your services, as we have a fairly capable maintenance team. We will still provide necessities to Jabberwock Island until we can establish finer details for currency, as we realize that it is still too scarce to be of fair value. You are free to return to the Future Foundation for work, or consider this an early retirement or rehabilitation, though the supposed pension may not be grand.”

Pulling the paper away from his face, he carefully read the last line with a steady voice, “For the misconduct and poor treatment due to our negligence and distrust, we hope that you can accept our apologies. Thank you for your hard work. Signed, Togami Byakuya.” There was little to do but tuck away the letter and let the words sink into his mind. His mouth felt dry all of a sudden, feeling a rush deep in his chest like pain and relief at the same time. At long last… at long last, they could be seen for a little more than criminals. Without a doubt, the burden of their crimes would still be carried on their backs, but… “Hinata-kun…” Komaeda’s hand found its way to his shoulder, crouching beside him, Hinata unaware of when he himself had come down to his knees at all, “I’m surprised it’s Togami-kun of all people addressing us so politely, I would’ve thought it was Naegi-kun this entire time.” He let out a chuckle at the thought, probably imagining it as well. “But isn’t it a good thing, then?” “I mean, who knows, Togami might as well have been held at gunpoint by Naegi to write nicely.” Hinata responded, watching Komaeda throw his head down to try and hide his laughter, though he wished he could see it anyway.

He continued, “…But by ‘a good thing’ you mean, to be acknowledged as Ultimates?” Hinata’s eyebrows furrowed in slight confusion. To that, Komaeda merely smiled warmly, “To be acknowledged as equals, as people, people who have been redeemed as symbols of hope.”

Hearing Komaeda’s words and turning back to him, the way the sunlight caught his eyes and reflected off the crisp and pure white snow made him seem like he was glowing. Maybe he was, in Hinata’s eyes at least.

It made him think time and time again about how things had changed since they’d first arrived back on the real island; they couldn’t even say they were truly “back” because nothing was ever quite the same as the program or the life they had before.

Nothing was the same except for the feelings that stuck to them, buried inside them.

The motivations, the pain, and the horror. All of the ugly aspects and hardly ever the beautiful. What could you make of the place you spent the most traumatizing days of your life in? The place where you were full of feelings of distrust, confusion, and betrayal, where the wrong choice could be the end of the road for everyone?

The place where you both loved and feared the people you lived alongside? Someone like Komaeda in the Neo World Program, full of hysterics and twisted tongues and horrible ideals that had truly rolled the game into motion – someone he never fathomed to forgive or trust another day, and yet, when he looks at the same man now, he’s overcome with the strangest feeling of hope. Dare he say happiness, even.

Happiness for the fact that they had all slowly brought out the best within themselves despite their trauma and loss.

The hope that contrasted so starkly against their despair, much like the hardships in any average person’s life tends to illuminate the good. It gave him peace of mind, for their second chance at life. Even Komaeda, despite his persistent self-deprecating ways, had been able to make at least an inch of progress. Maybe not towards himself, but to others – he’d come forward, trying to change his way of thinking, bit by bit each day. Speaking of a new hope, the one that they had built together, instead of the ideal he had to desperately cling to all his life for sanity in a world where fate would backlash at every step of the way. It took an immense amount of trust on both of their parts, but it was worth the risk. Things had definitely changed. And he was okay with that.

It was only a day after arriving back on the island that Komaeda had immediately started disappearing for most of the day. Whether he was trying to punish himself or test the trust of his overly-kind classmates, he didn’t quite know. Perhaps all he probably wanted, was to merely… Decay. Like rotting fruit that was never sweet to begin with, just the regretfully wrong choice to pluck from the tree. The one that would undoubtedly infect the rest of the barrel. It was just a mistake.

Despite the generosity of Kamukura’s skills, alongside Hinata’s well-wishes, maybe all it was that he merely felt obligated to bring everyone, including himself, back to life; for a second chance, for redemption, for “hope”.

And he hated it.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this was it? He was supposed to die, even with regrets writhing somewhere in him, even with words left unspoken, it was fine if he was just left to die. He wasn’t supposed to see him again. He wasn’t supposed to wake up every day, seeing her wrist hanging lifelessly where his used to be. It didn’t matter if there were things left with loose ends, when a life is taken by someone’s hands or even their own, they cannot come back to life. That was never the reality he was forced to grow used to.

No matter how long he would sit praying with clasped hands and white knuckles for hours on end, incense and prayer bells ringing in his eardrums until he could hear the ringing in his sleep, eyes burning and heart aching for another chance to say, “Have a nice day at work,” just for a mere chance to see the ghost of his hope all those days.

Even if he couldn’t get any closer to them in the time that they were alive, because it was as if a wall stood between them; no matter how hard he ran, the distance never closed between him and his loved ones. Maybe now, he realized, that they were sparing themselves of his horrific luck cycle, only to be struck by it anyway. Hopeless. Futile. Just like him. At least a realistic hope, void of such grandeur and delusions like a ‘second chance at life’, was the only thing his luck would ever validate. Not some fantasy, nor would it entertain a chance at a happy ending. It wasn’t supposed to, and ideally, he would have stayed dead if not for the meddling reserve course student who he tried so hard to despise. Who he knew he should despise.

But things would have to stay this way, he supposed. Orchestrating another suicide would be too troublesome, too exhausting, too much of a hassle to clean up. Going out in silence like a light without wasting any resources would be the better option anyway, wasn’t it? Even if it was the difficult way of leaving for good. At least there would be no chance of bringing a shriveled corpse back to life.

Though he was buried in his thoughts, Komaeda could make out someone standing beyond the door from the shadows on the ground. Before even seeing his silhouette, he knew who it was; and he knew he shouldn’t even be in here. The door to the warehouse flew open at last, exposing Hinata under the frame, with yet another stern and annoyed expression as he eyed Komaeda sitting on the dusty ground. Even someone like him would be disgusted after all.

The air between them was mostly silent, as usual; after arriving on the island, Komaeda made sure to distance himself from everyone and drop the act of friendliness out of politeness. After all, no one should have to deal with someone like him for longer than necessary, not even if they’d all done terrible things. He was an attempted murderer, at that, knowing Hinata had figured it out during that last trial he’d heard rumors of. Even if he did feel that he was justified at the end of the day.

And it was always Hinata.

Every day he would disappear from the main island and away from everyone, he’d always be the one to bring him back; often wrapping his fingers around Komaeda’s left wrist in a firm, almost scolding manner, and pulling him along behind him out of whatever rut he’d dug himself into for that day, like some mechanical ragdoll on autopilot.

Komaeda would often stare down at his wrist and fantasize about whether it’d tear right off his arm if Hinata was rough enough with him. Still, intrusive thoughts wouldn’t linger long enough when he could feel the heat of a living person on his skin. “So,” he’d started that day, “why is it that you insist on holding my hand every time you drag me back? Afraid I might run away?” He spoke in a low tone, something akin to apathy or embarrassment in his voice that he hoped Hinata wouldn’t catch. Hinata, on the other hand, didn’t seem bothered to turn around, “You could say that, and also that you always seem lonely when I find you.” “I don’t need your pity, Hinata-kun. Especially not from the likes of you.” That was the biting remark he’d expected. Rejecting, insulting, as if he hadn’t heard it all before.

Still, the way he spit out those words only made him feel the exhaustion he’d carried on from sleepless days even stronger, though he did nothing but treat the brief silence with a near-crushing grip on Junko’s rotting hand, knowing Komaeda couldn’t feel it in the slightest. “It’s not pity. And I don’t care what you think of me, even as the reserve course student you hate so much, but I know where I stand in this world.” Hinata spoke with a sigh, not letting emotion betray in his voice, nor did he let the insults get to him. One of the many things he’d learned he had control over better in his adulthood than in his youth, evidently, “It’s about time you do too.” “Oh, so it’s not pity? Enlighten me, then.” Even without turning around, Hinata could feel Komaeda spiraling as he spoke, “Isn’t it rather fitting that scum like me stays isolated in that warehouse, like a bird in a cage?” Komaeda said, a small laugh leaving with his breath at the end. “And what would you know about where I stand? I already know my place.”  “Clearly you don’t.” Hinata slowed his pace down, knowing the conversation was going into uncharted territory, though it needed to be said, “At least, not with the way you’ve been treating yourself even after waking up a second time.” Komaeda froze. “Waking up…?” His lungs felt like someone filled them with smoke, like he couldn’t contain his voice anymore – feeling a burning sensation on his face he’d never really felt before.   “Waking up?!” He stepped away from Hinata, tearing away his wrist like he’d just been burned. Some deeper part of his mind was gravely disappointed that Junko’s arm didn’t rip off from his flesh and skin right then and there.

Left to bleed out, though it would only be his own fresh blood. Junko’s would be nowhere to be seen. “What would you have done if we weren’t in the program? If we had died for real, like we were supposed to, then what would you have to say to everyone who died? That’s not how this world works!”

Komaeda started to pull at the fabric of his jacket in frustration, to the touch it was shabby and damaged and discoloured, even beyond its physical appearance – just like him. Hinata still wouldn’t fully face him, and that only aggravated him further. Arrogant, foolish, reserve course student. His eyes widened, throwing himself further into shouting out, “You call your hope, some gaudy and artificial rebirth, ‘waking up’? And for what, the sake of criminals who destroyed the world—?" “Get over yourself, Komaeda.” Hinata finally snapped back to the other boy. He’d done his best to keep his composure, and he wasn’t about to mess up entirely now, “Thinking of yourself at a time like this when everyone has a second chance to redeem themselves. You think we don’t know what reality is? You think I liked waking up those first few days to see the face of a murderer looking back at me in the mirror? You think I liked having to throw up because I felt sick of myself for deaths which I had little to no memory or feeling of remorse for? It’s not like any of us expected to even have another opportunity.” Hinata’s sucked in air through his teeth sharply, jaws clenched tight when they weren’t moving, feeling something like adrenaline in his veins. Adrenaline, he thought, or maybe anger. “Komaeda, do you honestly think I haven’t regretted waking up, even once?” Hands that he didn’t realize were tightened into a fist pulled a little harder, watching Komaeda’s anger slowly drain from his expression, “So, what, are you going to tell victims like Koizumi and Mioda they don’t deserve another chance at life because of who they were? This isn’t just about us, but are you going to deprive yourself of another chance just because you’re hung up on the past? Give me a fucking break.” Komaeda couldn’t do anything but stay silent, this time not meeting Hinata’s eyes, but letting the warm air and the scent of summer rain on asphalt fill his lungs and slowly wash out the frustration he’d felt moments ago. Once again, it was always Hinata.

It was always Hinata who managed to both infuriate him and ground him every time.   “Then again, I never could understand that ‘hope’ of yours, even at the very end. Still…” Letting his now quivering grip relax, Hinata took another deep shaky breath, closing his eyes for just a moment to figure out what he wanted to say. There was no room for mistakes, especially when he had an opening like this with someone like Komaeda Nagito.

“You’re allowed to be angry at the outcome, I can’t dictate how you’re meant to feel. But I know you still have a place in this world, despite everything. Even if it’s difficult to remain here, you still belong with us, as an equal in 77-B. As a friend.”

At those words, the tension seemed to dissipate slowly; but there was still never any sure telling, Komaeda could revert right back to building those thorn walls around him, desperate to keep well-wishers out lest his luck bring them misfortune. But Hinata needed the change.

They wouldn’t be able to move forward without the acknowledgement alone; he wanted to move forward with everyone no matter how long it took, including Komaeda. Especially Komaeda, even if he couldn’t quite understand why he was so desperate for him to follow. “Not even your luck can stop you from taking pleasure in the simple things in life. Not as long as we’re around to support you. But nothing will change unless you want it from your own heart… though, just so you know, I do want to see you happy someday.” Hinata reached for his hand, his real hand, and smiled gently despite everything – to remind him that everything good and everything bad in their lives was most definitely real, that he wouldn’t be alone when facing them, that there was better means of retribution that didn’t lead them to suffering quietly. Not every bit of damage will disappear, but even if it means some things may merely fade, others will heal eventually.

“Tsumiki took a crash course for counselling and now runs a therapy clinic with help from volunteers at the Future Foundation as well.” Hinata looked to the sky, wondering when patches of it started to change a little from red to purple. “Let’s go together tomorrow, okay?”

Komaeda faced the floor and mumbled under his breath, leading Hinata to furrow his eyebrows in confusion, “Huh? Did you say something?”

At that point he’d also noticed he was still holding Komaeda’s hand. Neither of them seemed to notice or care a whole lot, so of course he wouldn’t be the one to bring it up. Though Komaeda’s insults were mostly empty, but when caught off guard, it wasn’t like his confidence was high enough not to get curb-stomped by the jabs anyway. “So you’re talentless and hard of hearing too, huh?” Komaeda shot an unimpressed look at him, to which Hinata could merely shrug weakly before the other let out a sigh, “I said, Ultimate Persuader.” Komaeda’s lips ghosted the slightest hint of a grin, as he immediately casted his eyes to the floor, “I guess… I bet it rubbed off on you from Kamukura-kun, but it’s fine. I’ll take you up on your offer, if you so insist.” And that was that, Hinata supposed. Though some days were more troublesome than others, Komaeda found himself wandering back to the warehouse less and less to plot the way the Spear of Gungnir pierced his abdomen in the program, neither would he lay on the filthy ground and pray to rot in silence where he lay.

Instead, he’d let Hinata gently grasp the fingertips of his right hand, every Sunday afternoon on their way to the third island.

“Ah… so a karaoke machine, is it?” “No shit, it’s a karaoke machine. Big brother, don’t you have ears? Or eyes, for that matter? Ones that aren’t always following that cotton-head creep?” Saionji stuck her tongue out distastefully at Hinata, eventually skipping away from the stage where the machine had been propped up gracefully thanks to the heaving efforts of what Souda dubbed one lazy afternoon as, The Muscle Hustlers, Owari and Nidai. Hinata, like most people with at least a bit of taste, despised that name, though at least he didn’t demand a cash refund for violating his ears unlike Saionji.

Hinata didn’t pay any attention to that snide remark either, though he wondered if she merely came around to insult him for fun. After all, Saionji was always full of them, and entertaining or even refuting them would only end up with someone on the verge of tears – usually Saionji. Though it wasn’t her being driven to tears that he feared as much as he felt bad for; it was Koizumi’s wrath that he actually feared. Making someone’s girlfriend cry would do that, he supposed.

After spending a bit of time on his own, mostly tweaking things or vegetating, he’d come out for the invitation to the party at Titty Typhoon, apparently to congratulate themselves on an early retirement… or rather, graduation. And by the looks of the karaoke machine, decorations, and booze on the table, things were about to get rather loud rather fast.

Though, he had to really hand it to Mioda for whipping everything up so quickly; she really was a different kind of motivated when it came to music and parties. On their own, they were enough to make her excited but, together with an alcohol-enthused Kuzuryuu looking forward to the drinks, it was something like getting the already-hyper Mioda Ibuki to chug an energy drink and a coffee at the same time.

Basically, a rather dangerous combination that Hinata would consider getting Kamukura to split an atom would the safer option between the two. Even Imposter had a hard time keeping up with everything despite being one of the main organizers, and honestly, who could blame them? At least, it looked like everyone had arrived and was having a relatively good time.

Hanamura was busy in the kitchen, whisking away at comfort food made gourmet by perfection; even he had come around to accept that it wasn’t bad to embrace his roots with homely cooking, to honor his mother. For her sake, he’d also given up on perverted tactics and jokes over the years. Though he never quite brought it up, but Hinata eventually noticed anyway.

Everyone else had someone to talk to or something to do – he found Komaeda laughing and chatting with Pekoyama over their soft drinks, Nidai and Owari helping with aligning the lights on stage, in exchange for glazed hams to their hearts content, bellowing out cheers as they lifted giant rods of iron off the ground to move to storage; all the while, Tsumiki stood by and panicked, crying out to be careful as the two of them hoisted everything with nothing but their bare hands and a whole lot of willpower. He saw Sonia, Gundham, and Souda playing card games at their own table, watching Sonia slap down a card with a triumphant grin and watching the other two crumble before her. Fuyuhiko, on the other hand, he spotted near— “Hinata-kun?” Nanami’s voice chirped beside him, snapping him out of his trance. He’d almost completely forgotten that she’d woken up for the party. He huffed at himself, some insensitive friend he was. “Sorry, it’s all good Nanami. I was just thinking about… things.” “You were spacing out and looking at everyone. Especially you-know-who.” “You-know-who?” He snorted, “What are you, a grade schooler?” “You-know-who means Komaeda-kun.” She bellowed out the last part louder than she needed to, and, naturally, the man in question whipped his head around at the sound of his name. Hinata felt like sweating buckets. Or being struck by lightning. Nanami, on the other hand, relished in his embarrassment and waved at Komaeda through the screen, which he had cheerfully reciprocated before turning back to Pekoyama who merely smiled between the four of them. He took a deep breath.

“That,” he jabbed toward the screen, “Was unfair.”

Throwing his back to the wall again, he huffed irritably, only to hear Nanami chuckle quietly, “Sorry, sorry. But tell me honestly, do you see it too, then?” Hinata’s eyebrows creased a bit at the question, “See what?”  “The way everyone has grown.” A somber atmosphere settled between them at those words, “Yeah. I do.”

Hinata cast a small smile at her, which she warmly gave back. She exhaled, as if letting out all her worries in one swift action. Hinata wished it were that easy, but he was more than grateful to see that his friend could allow herself to relax for once. “Well…” she spoke, glancing at each of her classmates, “I’m glad I got to see it, even if I’m not exactly… real.” Hinata stiffened, “What are you saying? Of course you’re real.” His crossed arms let down, hands folding behind his back as his head turned towards Nanami, who idly fidgeted with the cuff of her sweater like a nervous child, “You existed in all of our lives as our friend and you’ll always be our dearest classmate. You’re undoubtedly real to all of us.” His chest ached a bit as he said so, knowing full well about all that Nanami had done for everyone, knowing full well what Nanami means but refusing to truly acknowledge that.

He supposed it was a bit selfish of him, to live in a bubble of ignorant bliss when the irony was that he’d been fine with accepting reality every other way. But this way was still too difficult, even for him.

“You’re the one who’s been helping Tsumiki with the therapy sessions after all. Helping all of us. There’s no way I could ever forget that.” He felt a knot in his throat that wouldn’t go away no matter how hard he swallowed, strangely enough. Though there was nothing particularly emotional going on unless loud music, friendly banter, and a celebration they’d make sure to remember truly counted.

Somehow, he still felt like crying of all things. “Ah… I was trying to keep that a secret… but it’s okay.” She smiled, and Hinata knew that no computer monitor would be able to contain her warmth and kindness. “It’s funny… I guess I’m a bit of an existentialist, even if I don’t quite exist.”

Hearing those words, Hinata found himself hesitantly opening and closing his mouth, wanting to refute them; he knew everyone still had their sore spots, but above all he knew how much Nanami had to suffer all this time. Each and every one of them had suffered.

But Nanami… she had to watch them gruel through the whole process, every day, even when the others were vile with each other during their first few days of waking up. Even when things felt like they were getting better, someone or another would relapse, and Nanami, without fail, would be there to rescue the deteriorating situation when Hinata had his hands tied. Not knowing how to say it properly, Hinata subconsciously patted the top of the monitor, getting a confused sound from Nanami before awkwardly shoving his hands back into his pockets. “S-sorry… still not quite good at the whole ‘emotions’ thing.” “Mhmm…” She laughed, “Neither are any of us, but that’s fine, Hinata-kun.” Their quiet chat was soon broken by Mioda’s voice on stage, beaming and hopping as she asked everyone to find seats, before bringing out a shoebox with a hole on the lid. According to her, whoever’s name would be drawn from the box would be first up to sing; karaoke was going to be consisting entirely of her favourite songs from anime and video games of her choice, with the singers completely randomized, meaning, it was a matter of luck. Luck. And his thoughts, as always, trailed right back to the Ultimate Lucky Student, who he found with his hands knitted together gracefully as he looked up at his friend on stage with an encouraging smile. Mioda, having caught his attention, all but winked back.

Rattling the whole box like a pair of maracas, Mioda eventually picked out a scrap piece of paper from out of the box with her eyes squinted shut, peeking out one eye like a child once it was unfolded.

A cattish grin on her lips as she read out the name, “Ibuki picked… Ko-ma-e-da Nagitoooo-chaaaaaaaaaaaan!”

Pointing straight at the seemingly unlucky winner, who sat with an expression that changed from his warm smile, to somewhere between giving up and straight up petrification as he slowly stood, getting a handful of cheers from the rest of the class.

Maybe it was the lights, or the way Komaeda was practically glowing as he climbed up on stage, that made him more emotional than usual. Hinata didn’t think often about his feelings, lest they get carried away and become something like infatuation.

He wondered, quietly while casting a glance to the computer screen again, if Nanami could analyze and pick up on the storm of emotions whirling in him.

“Okay! So, I’ll only play a song you know from some anime that we’ve watched together, if you’re cool with that!” Mioda chattered away as she stuck her face into the amp, adjusting frequency levels with enough skill and precision that there wasn’t a second of feedback. Komaeda all but shrugged resignedly, legs stiffly pressed flat together, and hands clasped tightly in what looked like nervous habit… awfully cute, if Hinata could be honest.

Mioda stood up, microphone in hand and whispering into Komaeda’s ear, his expression going from anxiety, to surprise, to anxiety again.   “Really?” He looked unamused at whatever she’d said, exasperated even, before he went right back to being nervous, “Mioda-san, you know I can’t sing, I’ll only hurt everyone’s ears,” he’d whispered back with urgency, almost with a bit of shyness, unaware that the mic was picking up on his voice perfectly despite whispering. “You’ll be fiiiine, Nagito-chan! I’ve heard you since before, you’re amazing!” Mioda hugged him from the back and squeezed, while Hinata felt the slightest twinge of jealousy that she got to hear him singing before. “Oh… please don’t say that about tr—” he stopped himself, shaking his head, “About me.” He took a deep breath, trying to steady his nerves, “But if you insist…” Mioda winked at him, pointing a one-hand finger gun at the karaoke machine, the music turning on as she “shot” it. Faintly, he could hear Fuyuhiko curse in disbelief, “How the hell…” before being hushed by Pekoyama. As the lights everywhere else dimmed, Mioda’s voice was heard once more, “Nagito-chan will be singing ‘Song of Truth’ by Do As Infinity!” The sound of the instrumental filled the room, most notably, the sound of a stringed instrument. “The jinghu,” Kamukura supplied, “It’s a Chinese instrument known for its unique high-pitch melody.”

Hinata suppressed a sigh, resisting the urge to whack his forehead, as if it’d do anything but sting, but begrudgingly stored that information in his brain anyway. He tuned out everything, focused on the boy on stage; visibly less nervous, much to Hinata’s relief, though he kept his eyes shut, he could’ve sworn Komaeda peeked and smiled at him before taking a deep breath.

The first few words from him resounded.

A melodious hum reverberating from quiet lips, foreign, but sweeter than honey. It’s just as calming of an effect – it’s not overpowering, not really, but the sound has a way of making gears click into place, make the lights seem less glaring, but a softer bloom instead; it made him glow in a manner that’s ethereally… beautiful.

Charmingly complimenting the soothing grace carried in each note of his song, and the way his silver eyes would momentarily betray melancholy even in low light.

It trailed goosebumps up Hinata’s arms.

Hinata knew that he wasn’t the only thoroughly mesmerized in the room, but in some ways, he couldn’t be bothered to take his eyes off the boy who’d made a prisoner out of his attention, much like his own heart as he’d begrudgingly learned over time. As he’d learned of the unwavering and pure affection, he accepted it with endearment little by little. Komaeda wasn’t such a bad guy, after all.

Misguided, surely, but it wasn’t like they weren’t all at fault for what had transpired. It wasn’t like Hinata didn’t have blood on his own hands, despite taking a different name and form. But at their core, there was no lying about it. They weren’t bad people. There was still time to learn and recover from their pasts. And they had, Hinata was certain that they most definitely overcame their greatest hurdles.

And now that the bigger storms were calmed, there was still time to take Komaeda’s hand and show him what it’s like to live without fear; with unconditional… love, was it? Love from himself and their classmates, their friends. It would be okay, so long as they kept living and pushing forward.   Being with Komaeda, growing alongside him, learning, and understanding him over the years… it had only affirmed his affections, it had only made him want to stand beside him and help him be happy, just as he had done the same for him on the many nights Hinata would break down.

Hinata listened to the song, not bothering to filter the way the words strike him any longer. He’d simply let his emotions flow knowing he couldn’t push them away quite as easily anymore. He would stop pretending that he wasn’t shamelessly staring, watching the way his expression would crease just slightly at the more difficult lines, at the stronger notes.

He would stop pretending that he didn’t notice how Komaeda had started to take care of himself a little more, even if it was out of reluctance. He would stop pretending that he didn’t appreciate how he went out of his way to support his classmates through difficult times and moving past their sins, even if he was still rough around the edges.

He would stop pretending that he didn’t care, or that he didn’t have feelings for him, as much as a mess they both were. As Komaeda’s song came to a close, the rest of the class broke out in cheers and praise, most of them hollering in surprise at Komaeda’s bit of hidden talent as he stood there like a nervous doe.

In the back of his mind, Hinata thought it to be rather timid for someone who’d threatened to blow up five islands, but he felt that he could be cut some slack from all that nonsense. Nothing quite made sense back then, after all, but he was happier to know the real Komaeda.

All the while, Hinata felt suddenly overwhelmed with just how empty his lungs felt after everything and rushed out for air as discreetly as possible. Though trying to be inconspicuous, he was sure at least Nanami would have noticed… unless she fell asleep, that is. Nonetheless, Hinata slipped out the front door quietly amidst the chaos, taking in the chilly air in deep breaths as he placed himself on the nearby bench, suddenly taking notice of the ice-skating rink near the ruined beach the others had probably set up.

He was sure that the third island wasn’t the cleanest island, rather, it was the one that held the second-most amount of junk right next to the fifth – but all in due time, he supposed, every last one of the islands would be properly cleaned up soon enough now that they were done with the mainland.

After what he guessed was ten minutes, he could very faintly hear Sonia’s voice in a duet with Owari; a surprising but lively combination, and the song seemed to be fairly upbeat even if he couldn’t make out the words.

Even so, it warmed his heart. Maybe because he felt like a forty-year-old in a twenty-seven-year-old’s body, it was like the world moved far too quickly during his youth. There never was much time for him to really be a teenager, if he really thought about it.

There was too much going on between the blurred lines of his childhood memories, the bandages, the arguments in the kitchen, all while he poured hours day in and out into his studies for cram school and exams; and then there was Hope’s Peak, and all the pain and frustration and longing to be significant that came with it.

It consumed those years, burning them faster than cotton, like his life was nothing more than fodder for entertainment and testing the limits of ground shattering low esteem for a boy who knew no better than to give up his body to some greed-driven scientists, and that if some cruel God was out there taking pleasure out of his hellscape of a life, well… he knew that by the fact that he was still alive meant that he had the last laugh, at least.

The sound of boots crunching in the snow approached from behind, and, lucky him, it was Komaeda with two hot drinks in his hands. “So, this is where you disappeared, huh?”

He sat down beside him, shivering a bit at the touch of the frozen bench before handing Hinata his drink, appearing to be the hot tea that Koizumi prepared with Sonia much earlier. “My singing was pretty atrocious, huh?” He laughed softly and glanced towards the fairy lights decorating the posts and fences outside, right before Hinata’s eyes went wide, “What?! No! Of course not, it was amazing, I didn’t even know you could sing that beautifully— I just… needed some air.” Komaeda looked at him with skepticism, though the light bit of pink on his cheeks betrayed otherwise; that biting look of ‘reserve course student’ had been long gone, but he probably still enjoyed lightly jeering on Hinata on a good day. “Hmm… well, if you say so!”

A beat of silence passed between them, with nothing but the gentle lapping sound of the ocean shore, and the muffled music and cheers from within the music venue.

Hinata loved moments like this, where even if it was silent, Komaeda’s company never quite felt anything except comfortable. If they were still in the program, undoubtedly, he’d probably beg to differ but… now that he got to know about his favourite side of Komaeda, things were different to say the least. It reminded him of the Komaeda that waited for him to wake up on that otherwise strange and terrifying day.

“Say, do you think we’ve changed since waking up?” Hinata spoke quietly, as if worried he’d break the solemn atmosphere.

Komaeda shifted in his seat, smiling, “Without a doubt, Hinata-kun.”

Hinata looked up to the sky; hoping the clouds would clear soon. It had been a while since he’d seen the stars in their full glory, and even now, there were still days when parts of the sky seemed more purple than blue.

Like the sky, they could never completely heal either, but even that was alright. Healing was never a straight path in the first place. “I’m glad you think so too.” “It’s actually funny you mention that – Pekoyama-san and I were talking about the past as well… how much we’ve changed as a class.”

Komaeda spoke somberly, watching his expression become something like nostalgic, his breath coming out as visible puffs of hot air at this time of night, “We talked about how we both considered ourselves tools for a greater cause, we never really put much value on our lives until our loved ones would say otherwise with their near-dying breath.” Komaeda paused, lazily rubbing his thumb over the length of his fingers in a half-hearted attempt to keep warm and smiled.

“I always knew she was pleasant and a great symbol of hope to me, but… now that I got to speak with her a little more, she really is a wonderful person… I guess we both had a lot more in common than we thought, huh?” Hinata nodded, quietly scraping, folding, and smoothing the compacted snow with the tip of his boot, as he listened to Komaeda talk his heart out for once, “Ever since that day you brought me out of the warehouse, and every time I would try to hide again, you would be the one to help sever that need to hurt myself. And I…”

Komaeda fell silent, taking a shaky breath, making Hinata finally look back at him. His head was lowered to where he couldn’t meet his eyes, the streetlights catching the white of the snow and the white of his hair, and Hinata had to all but resist the urge to pull him close and comfort him.

“Do you remember the day we were all in the restaurant during a typhoon, Owari-san had taken up a blindfolded eating contest against Nidai-kun? Owari-san had won that, and when Saionji-san started to make fun of her, she playfully stuck a pork rib bone covered in sauce on the back of her kimono and it got stuck there like glue.”

He smiled meekly at the memory, lifting his head again, “I don’t remember a time since we woke up that we laughed that hard. I probably wasn’t one of the people that laughed too much, I think. Because when we collected ourselves, I’d… broken down already.” The memory from five years prior was vivid, even today. He remembered standing close by the entrance of the restaurant, seeing at least three people doubled over, and Hinata in tears. Even somewhere in his hardened heart at the time, he felt joy.

A different kind of warmth, like being together with a family. Feeling a fleeting but all too real spark of happiness. That joy was short lived when the reality started to set in. That sweet happiness had a rather bitter aftertaste when that single thought crossed his mind.

I tried to murder these people.

Overwhelmed by guilt, by frustration, his knees buckled as if the weight of his actions suddenly took a heavy toll on him, like the crossed wires in his brain had struck some semblance of clarity, and before he could understand what was happening or how he was really feeling, he began sobbing like a child.

Everything he had tried to do in the program was what he had known to do since the start, since the beginning of his life, in order to counter his luck and find the one thing that could defy it – hope.

And yet, it was all wrong. If it weren’t for Hinata, then they wouldn’t be here, laughing, crying, creating a new life together because they were forced into a life or death game at the prime of their youth, when they should have been trying to find a way out. He was the one to tip the scale, he was the one to spark the fuse when it didn’t need to; at the cost of his own life, it was fine, but now when he looked at the others, he felt a tightness in his chest. He always despised dirty tricks, and he never was a good liar. Yet, he found that he did nothing but cause calamity. It suddenly felt clear as day how wrong he was, even if it was his means of surviving all throughout his childhood; what good was that when he was there to merely throw away his life? How selfish of him to play some sacrificial God and right their wrongs when, as Hinata had said that there was always, always another way out that didn’t have to have them suffer. So, Komaeda cried.

He cried like someone truly had died, crying out apologies over and over to no one in particular, like the child who had seen his parents get killed before his eyes once more, traumatized again and again like a pearl in its shell. And just as imperfect. He realized what he was trying to destroy for an ideal world when a world like that never existed, it was simply the imperfect yet endearing reality before him. And that, if this is how reality is today, then Hinata truly had forgiven him, and not out of reluctance – and he knew that he’d accepted Hinata as well. Amongst all this, not even realizing when Sonia, Hinata, Koizumi, Nidai, and his other classmates had knelt beside him, confused and apprehensive and worried but still kind in the gesture alone.

To comfort him of all people. They weren’t close, and yet… somehow, he felt that they could understand his regret and frustration. After all, they carried their own mistakes as well.

Somehow, Komaeda had to make it up to them one day and gain their trust, even if he wasn’t worthy of it. But for now, things were fine as they were.

He was… happy, with the way things were now. Hinata exhaled, finally bundling up that bit of courage and letting his hand rest on the other’s shoulder and squeezed lightly; he wouldn’t admit nor deny the fact that he likely moved a few inches closer, not that it really mattered. “If I can be honest, I was wrong about you. You’ve… grown a lot since before.” he said, sticking out his legs to stretch only to hear his knees pop embarrassingly loud. Joint pain in your mid-twenties was a different kind of hell altogether, and his timing was impeccable.

“S-sorry, that was—” He cleared his throat, only for Komaeda to smile and give an understanding nod, “Anyway, I’m glad that you don’t see yourself that way anymore. I’m glad that you gave everyone a chance, and most importantly, yourself.” Hinata’s voice softened, something like affection and pride welling in him.

“I don’t want you to have to worry about your luck, or your health. After all, his luck will balance it out and… with how your treatment has been going successfully, I think we’ll be okay.” Hinata tried to ignore the way Komaeda quirked his eyebrow at the way he referred to Kamukura, but everyone and their mother probably knew about that complicated internal conflict already, “Kamukura and the others have been trying really hard and if they come out with a breakthrough. It’d be huge not only for us, but for anyone else affected similarly.” “Us…?” Komaeda hung onto that word, feeling a tightness in his chest. Hinata floundered to cover his embarrassment, but all the other boy did was laugh it off delicately.

And in one graceful motion, he stood up, boots crunching in the snow as he took Hinata’s wrist in tow behind him. A small grin rested on his face as he tugged Hinata, who followed without much question, to the ice rink. Hinata stretched slightly after sitting for so long, carefully glancing between the ice rink and Komaeda, not quite enjoying the implication of him looking so lost in thought. “So, Hinata-kun, how badly do you think it’d end if we tried skating with snow boots on?” “Huh…” Hinata looked back at the other with a mildly impressed grin, “Look at you, taking risks for once in your life. But sorry, I don’t know how to skate.” “Neither do I!” He joyfully replied, as if that were any more reassuring, “And as if me living and breathing isn’t already a risk,” Komaeda retorted, albeit those words were more playful than morbid, “Besides, if we fall through thin ice and end up with hypothermia, I could very well blame Kamukura-kun’s luck, couldn’t I?” he laughed, sticking a foot out at the edge of the rink to test just how slippery it was.   Hinata grinned something mischievous, and at that, he took hold of Komaeda’s shoulders and shoved themselves out into the ice, both of them speedily spinning out of control for a moment while gripping onto each other’s arms for safety across the makeshift rink, like there was nothing but melting butter beneath their feet. Or, well, ice really would be close enough.

Immediate regret, if their cries of panic were anything to go by; it wasn’t one of Hinata’s brighter ideas, but he’d be lying if he said this wasn’t fun either. It was rather surprising with how their balance, or rather lack of it, didn’t get them killed was a mystery as they found themselves twisting and slipping in every direction. Komaeda eventually crashed into the pile of fresh snow, having given up on a graceful landing, with Hinata following closely and just barely crushing him – instead, he’d landed on the man’s prosthetic arm on his stomach, cursing as he did.

Though the slight adrenaline was still running through him, Hinata immediately pried himself off the snow, worriedly taking hold of Komaeda’s arm to check it for any damage and babbling, “I-I’m so sorry, are you hurt? I didn’t mean for things to get that crazy…” He didn’t look back at Komaeda, feeling too embarrassed for practically crushing his arm in a stunt, and instead pulled the hand closer to his face, furrowing his eyebrows and inspecting between the metal joints and slender fingers that weren’t quite unlike Komaeda’s real hand. He wasn’t quick to notice that he was far from being in pain either, rather the silent realization that he had been holding his hand rather intimately hit him like a truck, heat pooling in his cheeks for reasons beyond the chilly weather. “Don’t… worry about it, I’m absolutely fine.” He smiled it off, watching Hinata give it one last wary eye to the prosthetic and back to Komaeda, before setting the arm down. Hinata sat looking down at the other lying in the snow, who had by then closed his eyes and breathing slowly, stretching his arms far out as if he was making the slenderest snow angel the world had ever seen or hugging the wide-open night sky.

With a heaving breath and an endearing gaze, Hinata broke the silence, “I had my doubts, but… you really are still Komaeda Nagito.” Komaeda’s eyes slowly opened again at those words, “What do you mean?” “I mean that the boy I met at the beginning of the program, the boy I met at the end of the first trial, and the man I know now… they’re all the same.” Hinata’s voice felt a little tired from all the yelling, but he continued anyway, “I was scared that, I would never be able to see the kind-hearted friend I made at the very start ever again. One of my first friends, who I felt, at the time… betrayed me.” Hinata paused, catching the slight wince on Komaeda’s face.

Though they were Komaeda’s contrived and warped ideals back then, he too was probably shaken by Hinata’s revelation as well… and now, somehow, it made sense when he started to piece together his luck cycle, his absolute dependency on hope, his desire for escapism from such a hellish fate and to merely live a normal life.

And how ironic it was that they had the lives that each other yearned for. “But every good and bad thing about you, it was still always you, but… you’ve been able to overcome your fears, your shortcomings, with patience.” Hinata felt his heart picking up the pace, but smiled to cover his nervousness, “I guess it just means I can like you more now. Not that I could bring myself to hate you in the first place.” Komaeda pushed himself upright on his elbows, tucking in his knees and drawing his lips into the slightest smile, “Was that supposed to be some sort of confession?” Hinata scoffed, “Sure. But you think I’d give a half-hearted confession like that? Who do you think I am, some untalented reserve course student?” Hinata give a weak shove to Komaeda’s shoulder, to which he just laughed off. With his hair dusted with sparkling white snowflakes like glitter, it became clear that Komaeda’s peachy hair had started to grow back, overtaking the lifeless white mid-length; and yet despite the healthier contrast against the snow, he didn’t look any less angelic.

As Komaeda got up off his elbows, shaking the snowflakes and water droplets off the tips of his hair and jacket hood, Hinata caught himself wondering how everyone at the party was doing. When he cast a glance towards the music hall, he could faintly hear the voices of Souda and… what he could’ve sworn was Kuzuryuu, of all people, singing along. Komaeda laughed something short and sweet, catching the same drift as Hinata and the latter shaking his head in disbelief and amusement.

Hinata’s attention was drawn away when Komaeda cleared his throat, “So what about you, then? You’re always looking after everyone else, so it’s only fair I ask about you, isn’t it?” Hinata’s chest tightened. “I’m fine, honestly. I’m just glad that everyone can take a break and focus on getting themselves better, since we’re done with the Future Foundation for the most part, you know?” He shifted in place, casting another glance at the sky, and seeing a handful of stars peek through at long last.

There was always a part of him that also wanted to hide behind the clouds when he didn’t want to face the world. “In that case, you can take it easy.” “I… really don’t want to hear that from you of all people, but…” Hinata held his breath for a moment, feeling the constraints holding his emotions in starting to falter and creak, starting to feel even more tired. “No. It’s not enough,” His voice hitched at the words that left him.

He had to be much stronger than that. “I haven’t done enough to make up for the damage I’ve caused. It’ll… it will never be enough.” Emotion flickered across Komaeda’s face, and Hinata hoped it wasn’t pity. “I see…” He spoke, huffing out whatever potential biting remark he had to say. Though instinctively, Hinata felt passive anyways.

Instead, what came out was the simple phrase he’d heard many times before, “Is that really the extent of your hope, Hinata-kun?” He had heard it so many times before; accusatory, disappointment cutting deep and nestled within those words – the words he heard during trials, like some sort of test that both drove him to the answer and drove him insane with irritation. Knowing, hearing, the incompetency he’d always treated himself with being thrown back at him by a mere stranger the moment he felt like giving up. Even if it was strangely motivating. Except this time, it was different. When Hinata met the calm grey of Komaeda’s eyes, there was no bite or disgust, his words alone were quiet, careful, almost like a genuine question and not the condescending tone he’d thrown on him and the others during the program. He knew it wasn’t a taunt. It couldn’t be.

“You know… I thought I should’ve despised you when I found the truth. I knew you should’ve despised me with every fiber of your being. But I don’t think you did, not after seeing how you’re still so kind to someone like me. And it’s because of you that I have a new hope.” Komaeda reached out, holding the tips of Hinata’s cold fingers with his own freezing hands, just as he had all those years ago. “You’ve worked hard enough, Hinata-kun.” Those words were so simple. And so powerful.   “You can rest now too. I’m proud of you, you know that?” Hinata felt like his heart stopped and started again at double speed. He felt like the lump in his throat just wouldn’t fade. The same one he’d felt earlier threatening to push him over. Neither would the pain crushing his chest keep it from feeling like it was difficult to breathe. Hearing the same words of reassurance he’d given to the rest of his classmates, time and time again, being returned to him by Komaeda of all people… somehow that struck him with a different kind of joy when he thought about how far they’ve come.

Somehow that struck him with a different kind of grief, when he realized that he was just as damaged as they were. He was taking the brute force of the impact, after all, wasn’t he? He was allowed to cry, he was allowed to mourn, he was allowed to feel frustrated for the trauma they’d gone through watching their friends die, having to inspect their cold bodies and petrified and bloodied faces, having to prosecute the killer whom they considered a friend and standby to watch them be killed, and come back to the reality that they had caused so much suffering in the real world. He was allowed to feel remorseful. But he had just this moment, and the many more to come, to take a few steps back and try again. And he knew, that before anything else, over the years he had the chance to create a new life alongside his classmates – and the fact that Komaeda held him silently as he cried, not unlike the way Komaeda did all those years back, gave him closure for the wounds he never noticed were gaping open. For that while that they sat there on the frozen ground surrounded by pristine white snow, there wasn’t a sound in the air but the quiet hum of a song that Hinata could already feel vibrating through his chest, all until his sobs quietened to a single hiccup. Undoubtedly, it filled him with that same feeling of peace and courage that he felt was strongest when he was by Komaeda’s side, watching him grow as his charming friend, as his kind-hearted classmate, and simply someone he’d come to care about more than he thought he’d like to admit.

But now it felt like it really wasn’t such a bad thing to admit.

He knew how Hinata had been carrying their burden wordlessly until now, watching him over the years and letting Hinata take his time, and the fact that, truthfully, Komaeda’s arms felt like the safest place in the world; Hinata knew he loved him, and though it wasn’t an easy road, he couldn’t say that it wasn’t worth it even if he wished there was an easier path there.

“Komaeda…?” “Yes?” “I know you’re not stupid.” Hinata’s voice was only slightly muffled, buried in Komaeda’s shoulder, while his chest and face burned, “You were the first one to figure out the cases and help me even if I was slow. Even if you admittedly made it a bit harder and… I hadn’t treated you properly back then.”

Hinata slowed his breathing a little, to catch his words, to catch his breath, to demand his heart to stop ricocheting off the walls of his ribcage, “So, you know then, how I feel about you. I meant it the first time I said it earlier.” For the second that Komaeda’s grip loosened, Hinata felt his heart drop – only for him to tighten his embrace even more so, “What, that you’ve been flirting with me for the past five or six years?” He spoke with a devious grin, relishing the way the panic on Hinata’s face became more evident by the second.

Komaeda laughed, “I mean, you pick up a thing or two in therapy, especially once you start to learn about the people around you. Since I’m not really good at these things, everyone was pretty helpful when I tried to figure it all out! Well, talking with others in a way that didn’t weird them out was never quite easy for me, and I guess I still am a bit awkward but… in some ways, I’ve gotten a better idea of what I should say.” Komaeda kindly ignored the shell-shocked expression Hinata wore at his revelation, albeit he found it amusing, and let that beat of silence pass peacefully. With hope in his grasp, in his arms. He takes another breath in, the same cold air, the same air that Hinata held with bated breath merely moments ago, loosely wrapping his arms around his waist and resting his forehead on his shoulder as he spoke, “I have always loved you, even when I tried not to. And I meant it the first time I said it, too… in the program, that is.” He pulled away, with a determined look, and the slightest hint of a smile on his face. And that was when Hinata saw pure confidence in his eyes, in his words, for the first time. The same Komaeda that was his very first friend on the island. The same Komaeda that had broken his trust. The same Komaeda that learned how to live again, who makes Hinata want to live, not just survive, by his side.    “Even now, I still love you. These words… I know they—? I know they seem heavy but, trust me when I say that I’ve thought about it more times than I’d… like to admit.” Komaeda cast his gaze away, that confidence slightly wavering, only for Hinata to laugh inwardly and gently bump their foreheads together in endearment. Whatever made it easier for him to express his feelings, he had come this far at least was more than enough.

“…That is, if you’re okay with someone like me. If you’re okay with me being the way I am right now.”

A genuine smile, warm and gentle and loving despite the cold, rested on Hinata’s lips.

“What better time than right now?”