Desecration of a Priest
Fandom: Trigun Stampede
Rating: Mature- 18+ only (Minors DNI)
Genre: Smut
Pairing: Nicholas D. Wolfwood/Meryl Stryfe
Tags: Religious Symbolism and Imagery, Religious Trauma, Biblical References, Priest Wolfwood, Ex-Church Girl Meryl, Smut, Unprotected Sex, Hand Job, Priest Kink, Corruption Kink, Hate Fucking then it turns Sweet, Sassy Meryl, Virgin Wolfwood, Brief Overstimulation
Wordcount: 5.5k
Bars and clubs were rife with those searching for salvation they couldn’t find at church.
So why was Nicholas D. Wolfwood there?
Cross-posted from my AO3 account.
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Meryl clenched the bottle in her hand until her knuckles were white, glaring over the top of her drink at the man across the bar. The dim interior lighting rested warmly on his tanned skin, eyes pools of wet ink behind his dark hair. His rugged appearance drew in the surrounding ladies as if he was a magnet, their vague yet suggestive comments rolling off his back like water while Meryl looked on, temper rising with each moment that passed.
Nicholas D. Wolfwood.
A man of god who happened to be in the one place Meryl didn’t expect him to show up. He belonged at the church behind a pulpit, dark priestly wear buttoned up to his throat. Here at the bar the only indication of godliness wrapped around his neck in the form of a silver chair with a small cross adorning it. It was barely a hint offered to those around him that he was off the market, and yet they still flocked to him, drawn in by his smile. He was suave and charming, after all.
And an asshole.
She’d known Wolfwood when she was a young teenager. He’d been just a bad then too. Their families had met at church, her demure dress choking her despite it’s loose fit when she was first saw him, cheeks flushing. He shook her hand, introduced himself with his full name and a sly cockiness that should have given her pause, claiming he was to be a priest. Meryl’s interest hadn’t been feigned as she attempted to make conversation with him. Each Sunday, she would approach him with an eager nervousness, only to be brushed off a moment later as he called out a greeting to someone else and left her standing alone in her pale dress, stomach dropping into her shiny church shoes. Each indirect rejection was burned into her mind with a branding iron, alongside the cruel words spoken to her out of earshot of the adults.
“Morning, Shortie,” he replied. “I see you’ve gotten into mommy’s makeup again.”
Meryl flushed, putting a hand to her face, suddenly ashamed she had tried her hand at eyeshadow again to impress him.
“Looks like you got punched in the face,” he towered over her, inspecting her face with a cheeky grin. “Still better than that whorehouse look you had a few weeks ago.”
Meryl could feel herself heat up at the memory, and tapped her finger against the dark glass of the bottle in her hand, still directing her venomous glare towards the old acquaintance who’d appeared in her sanctuary. How the man had even managed to get ordained was beyond her. Last she’d seen of him he was still in training, keeping up with coursework by the smallest thread of charisma, something Meryl was sorely lacking at the same age. She’d started losing both it and her faith after one of Wolfwood’s cruel “jokes”.
“You know that letting a boy hold your hand is a sin,” Wolfwood jeered at her from across the hallway in church as Meryl yanked her hand out of Vash’s. The blonde-haired boy had only offered to help her up when she’d tripped over her own feet, and now Wolfwood was mocking her for it.
“Too bad now,” Wolfwood shrugged. “You’re ruined. Guess Vash will have to take responsibility and marry you.”
“He’s just being a jerk,” Meryl mumbled to Vash, face red as a tomato. “Wolfwood!”
Wolfwood ran off cackling, Meryl on his heels, her strides extra-long to accommodate for her short height as she chased him.
“Wolfwood get back here!”
“Oh, no,” he ducked into a room. “I’m being chased by a lecherous woman! Someone help me!”
“Nicholas!”
“Ooh, first name basis now, are we?” he waggled his eyebrows, and it made Meryl’s ears burn. She couldn’t even find the words to scold him, standing with her fists clenched at her side, head down.
It hadn’t just been Wolfwood’s bullying that made her loathing towards church grow and fester. She started questioning the pastors, her parents, and all of the people she’d looked up to once she reached that age where she wanted to know why. When no answers were satisfactory, Meryl began to dig her heels in, pushing the boundaries of what her family and church deemed acceptable. Hair got cut shorter and shorter, rising in tandem with the hem of her dresses and skirts, while her carefully crafted perfect persona began to crumble.
Soon enough, instead of lily-white dresses and frilly socks at church, Meryl found herself wearing black dresses and fishnet tights at bars and clubs. She thought places like those would suit her best; after all, there was no place for her in a church of white wool. She liked the sharp bitterness of alcohol and the ache of debauchery- both sins according to the Bible. Even the acrid smell of smoke was comforting to her now; those with no god apart from booze and nicotine didn’t give a rat’s ass if Meryl’s shoulders were bare, or if she pressed a kiss to the lips of a stranger while intoxicated. Bars and clubs were rife with those searching for salvation they couldn’t find at church.
So why was Nicholas D. Wolfwood here?
Meryl narrowed her eyes, taking a swig from her drink. Didn’t he have a dick-riding appointment with the man upstairs on Saturday nights? He was a priest, wasn’t he? Sitting surrounded by a bunch of horny vixens at the bar didn’t seem to be very godly to Meryl.
Her pissed-off curiosity got the best of her and she hopped off her bar stool, heels clicking as she strode over to Wolfwood. His eyes were drawn to her as she leaned against the counter, posture oozing boredom and irritability.
“The hell are you doing here, priest?” Meryl emphasized the last word. “I thought holy men didn’t frequent sinful places such as this.”
Wolfwood had turned his body to face hers, hand wrapped loosely around his half-full glass. His signature annoying smirk had been plastered across his face and Meryl resisted the urge to smack it off. It was if nothing had changed since she left the church nearly six years ago- Wolfwood’s toothy grin still made her stomach coil in anticipation.
She still wanted him, no matter if he was an asshole; wanted those upturned lips parted in a plea, begging for forgiveness from her instead of god.
“We are to spread the good word to all. And what place needs him more than here?”
“Nowhere needs your god,” Meryl plucked his drink out of his hand, taking a sip while keeping eye contact. Her nose wrinkled. “A mocktail?”
“Why do you seem so surprised?” Wolfwood laughed. “I’m a priest.”
She snorted.
“Could’ve fooled me.”
“Meryl, my child-”
“Ew, don’t even start,” Meryl made a face. “Do not pull that shit with me. I know who you really are, and it sure as hell isn’t this.”
She gestured to the cross hanging around his neck. Wolfwood put a hand to his chest dramatically. His white dress shirt was unbuttoned three down- a scandalous amount for a priest. She dragged her gaze from the skin peeking through his open top.
“Come on, Meryl,” Wolfwood laughed, resting his cheek on his fist. “What is a girl like you doing in a place like this? You were such a good kid.”
Meryl leaned back against the bar, elbows propping her up as she scowled, crossing one leg over the other on her stool, missing how Wolfwood stole a glance at the skin of her thighs, tracing up her sides until he settled on staring at her lips.
“It isn’t for everybody,” she let out a big sigh. “My parent found god in church, but no matter how hard I looked, he wasn’t there.”
“God isn’t only at church,” Wolfwood smiled, putting a hand on hers. “He’s everywhere. You just have to open your eyes.”
Meryl dropped her gaze to where his large hands covered hers. She’d love to see them pinned above his head as he writhed under her…
“We all have different definitions of god,” she said, pulling her hand away. “Isn’t that right? They said that in a sermon once.”
Wolfwood grinned, appearing eager to talk holiness. His smirk rubbed Meryl the wrong way though, too reminiscent of the times he’s speak cruelly to her. The only difference now was an underlying temperance, a hesitation as if he was holding something back with a caution unlike what Meryl was accustomed to witnessing in the cocky bastard.
“We all have different interpretations of god,” he clarified. “Many might see god the same way, but it is ultimately up to each individual to search out and understand god in their own unique perspective.”
“Well, I have wonderful news for you, then,” Meryl drawled. “Because I have found god in places that you wouldn’t believe.”
“Meryl,” Wolfwood sighed, just catching himself before he rolled his eyes.
“You don’t believe me?” Meryl sat up, frowning. “Just because I find god in a bar or club, that makes me wrong?”
“Sin is in opposition to god,” Wolfwood explained to her.
He was preaching to the choir, and Meryl made a noise of disgust in her throat. It was like he forgot she was raised by religious fanatics.
“This argument could go on all night,” she inspected her nails. “Why are you even here? Honestly?”
Wolfwood’s cheeks darkened under his tan and he tore his eyes away from Meryl, rubbing the back of his neck. That caution was back again, bleeding through his movements even thicker now.
“Especially on a Saturday night,” Meryl leaned forward, well aware that her loose top was falling open a bit in front. “Father Wolfwood.”
He coughed, clearing his throat.
“I was hoping… that maybe I could convince you to come back to church.”
Meryl huffed, flopping back onto the bar with a groan.
“Trying to convert me in my own goddamn house. Will the horrors never end?”
“Meryl-”
“Wolfwood,” she countered, tone mocking. “Did you honestly come out here just to ask me to come back to church? I assume the flirting with those girls earlier was also a conversion attempt? Don’t get ahead of yourself; they only want your dick, not your god.”
Wolfwood, for as personable and self-assured as he was earlier with total strangers, had suddenly grown embarrassed and quiet. It was a nice change from the rude bully Meryl was accustomed to. Maybe now that she was able to snap back it made him think twice about his words. She bit her lip, thinking about how much she’d like to make him uncomfortable- make him squirm. Have him feel out of control and ashamed like he’d done to her all those years ago.
“So… Father Wolfwood,” Meryl’s voice oozed sarcasm as she stole his drink again, watching him from under her dark lashes. “You came out to a bar on a Saturday night just to try to drag me, the prodigal son- or daughter, if you will- back to god. You came out to this ‘cesspit of debauchery’ -as I believe I’ve heard you call it before- for me?”
“Jesus said to leave the ninety-nine sheep to seek out the one lost one,” Wolfwood kept his eyes on hers, as much as they were tempted to drift lower to the pale collarbones underneath.
“What a good priest,” Meryl rolled her eyes. “But you were such an awful boy… how ever did you get through seminary?”
Wolfwood sucked his teeth, leaning forward.
“Prayer and hard work. After you left… I realized it was- I wasn’t helping you. I was supposed to be an example for you, and I messed that up, big time. I cleaned up my act. Haven’t touched a drop of alcohol, smoked a cigarette, swore- nothing. I’ve been a good man,” Wolfwood said earnestly, and Meryl felt a flutter in her stomach at the confession.
“Oh,” her mouth hung open slightly, brows raised in surprise.
I only want to wreck him more now.
“I want to prove to you that I’m better. I’m a man of god,” he reached out, taking her hand.
“Celibacy and all?” Meryl asked, amused.
Wolfwood blushed, stammering.
“W-well of course,” he looked away. “Priests have to be. It’s part of the job.”
“Hm, sounds like shitty deal,” Meryl took a long sip of Wolfwood’s drink.
“I get to shepherd a flock,” Wolfwood said earnestly. “I get to guide the lost to Christ.”
“Ooooh,” Meryl held up her hands, wiggling her fingers. “You get to follow a bunch of stuffy rules and tell people they’re sinners. Sounds like a riot. If I wanted someone up my ass all the time, I’d rather it be the fun way.”
Wolfwood was currently discovering new shades of red for his skin to burn while Meryl ran her mouth, much to her amusement.
“Listen, Wolfwood,” she set his glass down. “I appreciate that you’ve turned your life around or whatever. Good for you. I’m glad it worked out. But this-”
Meryl gestured around her to the music and dim lighting, laughter and drunken calls echoing around the bar in a cacophony of noise that felt almost musical.
“Is where I found myself. Not some hypocritical church. This is my home. This is where I found my god, and it isn’t some rule book.”
“Meryl,” Wolfwood stood, taking her wrist as she tilted her head, eyes lidded.
“I spent my whole childhood trying to find and live up to your god. I’m not going to go back to hating everything about myself.”
“You don’t have to,” Wolfwood said.
“You don’t believe that,” Meryl scoffed. “If you did, you wouldn’t be trying to drag me back to church.”
“I just… I miss seeing you. I feel like I drove you away,” Wolfwood took a deep breath.
Meryl leaned in until her breath fanned against his ear, hearing Wolfwood’s breathing hitch as her fingers toyed with the chair around his neck.
“You sure as hell didn’t make me want to stay.”
She pulled back, flicking the chain out of her fingertips so it rested on his heated skin again.
“You’ve got a chance to change that now.”
“What- how?” Wolfwood asked, eager but wary, hands clenching.
Meryl’s lusty eyes bore into Wolfwood’s dark ones and he swallowed under her intense gaze. He felt like he’d walked straight into the mouth of a lion, Meryl’s eyes calculating and enticing.
“I want you,” Meryl drained the rest of his drink, placing the empty glass on the counter and sliding onto his lap. “So show me how much you want me back.”
“I-I-” Wolfwood’s mouth was opening and closing like a fish, his throat bobbing as he took in Meryl’s bare shoulders and full pout, the hollow between her small breasts, slinky dress barely covering them. “I’m a priest, Meryl.”
“Yeah, and?” she traced a finger along his jaw.
And I’m going to ruin you.
“I can’t do this. I-I’m bound by oath to remain, ah, pure…”
“Oh, I see,” Meryl slid off his lap with a sigh, not bothering to tug her dress down as it rode up, teasing a peek at the curve of her ass. “Well, enjoy the rest of your evening, Nicholas.”
Meryl stalked away, praying her bluff would work. She needed him to come after her, needed him to be the one to chase her. She was playing a delicate game of cat and mouse. If she made the wrong move, she’d lose Wolfwood and wouldn’t get what she wanted.
“Meryl! Wait- please, hang on-”
Meryl continued out of the bar without looking back; her stride brisk.
“Meryl- Meryl!”
“You’ve made yourself clear, Wolfwood,” she called without turning, still keeping her pace. “I won’t bother you again. Go back to your precious flock.”
“You are my flock!”
“I am nothing of the sort!” Meryl felt herself puff up, spinning on her heel to face him without meaning to. It took a second longer than she wanted to recompose herself. “I’m the wolf in sheep’s clothing, don’t you remember?”
She laughed harshly and huffed, hailing a taxi with one hand as the words she’d heard whispered behind hands at church played and echoed inside her mind.
Just watching out for the other children, my ass, Meryl scowled. They just didn’t like that I asked them hard questions they couldn’t answer.
Wolfwood caught her hand, staring into her crystalline eyes. His expression was more serious, hard around the edges as he opened his mouth.
“Meryl, God-”
“I don’t give a shit about your god,” Meryl shook him off as the taxi pulled up. “And until you’re willing to accept that, we’ll never see eye-to-eye.”
She released him, ducking into the taxi and crossing her legs, giving her address to the driver. Wolfwood slid in next to her, brows furrowed. Meryl was surprised her tactics were working as well as they were- it was like she had him on a leash.
“Father Wolfwood, whatever are you doing?”
“Drop it,” he growled as the taxi darted into traffic. “Look Meryl, I’ve been doing my damn best to try and apologize-”
“Is that what all of that was?” Meryl crossed her arms. “Because it felt like you were trying to coerce me into going back.”
“I know I was a dick when we were younger,” he admitted, and Meryl noticed how his speech was starting to slip back into the careless flippancy she remembered. “I want to make it right. I’m trying to be better.”
“You cursed,” Meryl commented blandly.
“Oh fucks sake,” he snapped. “Is that all you care about?”
“What I care about-” Meryl yanked him down to her level by his shirt. “-is you getting it through your thick-ass skull that not everything is about you and your god.”
She let go of the priest’s shirt, giving him a light shove as she did so. Wolfwood blathered on, words falling on deaf ears. Meryl was thankful she didn’t live too far from the bar and that the taxi driver was confident (Wolfwood called it “reckless”). She paid the fare as it rolled to a stop, thrusting cash at the man before digging out her keys as Wolfwood stumbled after her to her apartment. She just needed him to follow her a little further- past her threshold of her door... Meryl moved to slam it in his face, but Wolfwood stopped it with one hand, forcing the door open as she tried shutting it.
“Listen, Shortie,” he snapped, following her inside. “I’m trying to atone for all the stuff I did, okay? I’m trying to apologize and-”
“Atone?” Meryl spun around to face him. “You want to atone? Apologize? Make up for how shitty you treated me? You know how I felt, right?”
Wolfwood allowed himself to be forced back onto the couch, dumbfounded by Meryl’s sharp words.
“Or were you truly oblivious to everything? Either way you treated me like shit.”
“Meryl-”
“Don’t ‘Meryl’ me!” she snapped, pushing him down as she climbed onto his lap, taking hold of his collar with both hands.
She crashed her lips into his, his hands coming up in surprise, twitching before lowering to her hips, gingerly caressing the plush of her thighs like he was touching the Tree of Knowledge for the first time: reverent and afraid god would smite him. Meryl’s tongue pressed into his mouth, drawing a surprised, muffled groan from the man beneath her. Their noses bumped in a feverish desperation, teeth and tongue and lips melting together as Meryl indulged herself in the most damnable sin with the man who had helped turn her away from god. Breathless and panting, she pulled back to inspect her prize- her prey. Wolfwood was no better, his entire visage burning up as he stared at her in wonder.
“What, is that your first kiss, mister priest?” Meryl’s words were harsh, but her soft tone tempered the words.
Wolfwood’s silence answered for him, and Meryl felt the wickedness in her soul rejoice. She’d stolen the priest’s first kiss- the boy who’d told her that she was dirty and ruined forever because she’d touched another man’s hand: his first kiss.
The man who was supposed to be a celibate priest; pure for his flock, was starting to feel his soul corrupt under the touch of her fingers. His intentions had been pure when he arrived at the bar that night: he was going to apologize and ask Meryl to come back to church, and that was it.
“You have one chance,” Meryl breathed the words against his jaw. “Exactly five seconds starting now to leave, if you want to. One…”
Wolfwood’s hands shook against her body, fingers twitching as he stared dumbly at her lips forming the words- swollen and glossy. Meryl traced her hands down his front, undoing Wolfwood’s shirt one button at a time.
He really shouldn’t be doing this.
“Two.”
He had taken a vow of celibacy for his position. He was already going too far.
His starched white shirt peeled away to reveal a thick chest adorned with dark hair, heaving from the way her lips had ravished his mouth earlier.
“Three.”
He should leave now- leave before the temptations of his flesh controlled him completely. Before he gave into those base urges he’d had towards Meryl since he first met her.
Hands danced across his clenching abdomen with feather-light touches, and Wolfwood groaned, low and raspy.
“Four.”
He was a man of god-
Wolfwood’s glassy eyes watched Meryl in fascination. He couldn’t tear himself away, or even try to make a move when he was so entranced by the way she moved her hands against the planes of his body.
“Last chance, Father Wolfwood,” she reached for the hem of her dress.
Fuck it all.
Wolfwood reached out to help her lift it over her head, revealing small breasts and a smooth expanse of skin beneath the black fabric. A plain black pair of underwear hugged Meryl’s hips, just as soft as her skin under Wolfwood’s hands. He marveled that even the silk robes at the church didn’t feel as rich as the curve of her hips.
“Five.”
Meryl shoved him down, a cruel, delighted look lighting up her face. Wolfwood had never seen something so beautiful before. Her fingers caressed his face as her mouth moved against his, leaving him thirsty for more. He could feel her hips on his groin, rolling down on the tent in his trousers, providing him with blessed friction.
“You’re a virgin, aren’t you?” Meryl’s lips dragged down his body. “Have to be; for god.”
The word was spit with contempt, and Wolfwood could feel shame creeping up his chest as Meryl freed him from the confines of his pants. It excited him, though; he groaned at the feeling of her small hands rubbing him through his boxers.
It was foreign to have someone else touching him. Wolfwood had urges, and he wasn’t above taking care of his own needs, even if it left him feeling a bit guilty, but he reasoned it was fine, since it was just him. He was still celibate, technically. Now, he wondered how anyone wanted to be a priest when they had to give up this.
Meryl wasted little time in removing his boxers, leaving him stark naked on her couch, the only clothing she still wore covering the part Wolfwood was desperate to see.
“How does it feel?” Meryl purred, pleased with the way Wolfwood’s cock jumped in her hand. The priest bit his lip.
“M-Meryl,” Wolfwood panted, feeling his stomach coil.
He arched up into her touch, holding back a whine. Her pace increased in speed, leaving Wolfwood digging his hands into the couch, battling pleasure and shame.
“You’re supposed to be pure for god,” Meryl laughed from between his legs. “And here you are; getting stoked off by a sinner.”
The realization washed over him like a bucket of cold water, and he wanted to tell her to stop, but his body betrayed him as he let out a gasp, curling forward with a moan and burying his hand in her hair as the tension in his loins mounted. He panted, shame burning on his face as he let out a throaty cry, coming with a jerk in Meryl’s delicate yet firm grip.
“Well?” Meryl lifted her hand up, showing Wolfwood his spend all over her hand as he came down from his high. “How does it feel to be a sinner like the rest of us?”
Embarrassment colored his face and Wolfwood tried to scowl, but the orgasm had his head reeling. He could only snap out an awkward accusation.
“Is this your god? Sex?”
Meryl cleaned his seed off her hand with her tongue, not breaking eye contact until she finished. Wolfwood’s humiliation melted away as his throat went dry at the action, unable to focus on anything except her tongue pressed against her own skin, lapping up the evidence of his sin. She showed him her mouth before swallowing it down, face changing from pleased to sadistic satisfaction.
“I am my own god,” she straddled him. “And I’m about to be yours too.”
Wolfwood’s eyes widened as she positioned herself over him, her underwear having disappeared at some point. The sudden warmth surrounding him as she drove her hips into his short-circuited his brain, hands scrabbling for purchase.
“M- ah! Meryl!”
“Isn’t this kind of worship much more enjoyable than your boring recitations?” she braced herself with her hands on either side of his head.
He didn’t want to admit it, but Meryl was right. The way she clamped around him made him heady in a way that prayer never could, and the chant of her name falling from his lips as he jerked and cried out felt more natural that the memorized songs he raised to heaven each week.
“I want to ruin you,” Meryl forced him to look her in the eye. “Until you can never show your face in that goddamn church again.”
Wolfwood’s indignant reply was cut short by the slap of skin and welling of pleasure in his stomach and chest, his body tensing and rippling as he squirmed.
“You can start your apology by begging.”
“Be-begging?” Wolfwood had enough coherence for a question. “For what?”
Meryl lifted her hips until Wolfwood’s tip was just barely brushing her folds, entirely out of her heat. He writhed, ashamed as he ached to feel her again. The message was clear. He didn’t want to give into her demands- he was embarrassed enough with the whole situation- but she was like a drug. She’d always been his drug, ever since they met. Why he said all those stupid things as a teen was beyond him. This was what he’d wanted all along, Wolfwood thought ashamedly.
“Please,” his voice was hoarse. “Please, god-”
“You’re not asking god,” Meryl grabbed his jaw. “You’re asking me.”
Wolfwood’s eyes were glazed over with want, and Meryl felt a prick of pride. She released his face, watching his thick chest heave with exertion.
“Please, Meryl, please-”
“Please what?”
Wolfwood searched his rapidly blanking mind for an answer. Was he supposed to apologize or ask for her to continue? Did it matter? He just wanted her closer to him, fucking him until he couldn’t remember his own name.
“Please don’t stop,” he swallowed. “I’m sorry- sorry for everything.”
Meryl dropped herself down onto him again, reveling in the way his face contorted in pleasure.
“Keep begging or I’ll stop.”
Wolfwood’s eyes threatened to roll back in his head as his hands clutched her hips, trying to assist her in moving up and down. Meryl decided against smacking them away, choosing instead to brace herself with one hand against his stomach, which was surprisingly solid.
“I’m- I’m sorry for- ngh! For the way I treated you back th- ah!”
Meryl snapped her hips, enjoying the way Wolfwood struggled to speak with each rise and fall of her body. When he paused, panting, Meryl slowed to a stop, watching the despair build behind his desperate, feverish gaze.
“Please keep going, fuck, Meryl, please-”
Wolfwood’s entire world was condensed down to the way Meryl felt around him, the way the heat rolled off their bodies in the cool apartment air, and the shame and desire filling his stomach. He’d never felt more at home then this moment; buried in the cunt of the woman who plagued his dreams and fantasies.
“Fuck, Meryl, you feel so g-shit! Fuck, don’t stop- please oh g-ngh!”
“Tell me, Nicholas,” Meryl’s breath was coming shorter and shorter as her leg muscles began to cramp. “Tell me who your god is.”
“Meryl!” Wolfwood’s back arched up as he groaned, his orgasm hovering just beyond reach. “Meryl!”
“Is that how you cry out to your god?” Meryl drove her hips down. “Do you say his name so irreverently?”
Wolfwood clawed desperately for something to hold to as his entire body shook, convulsing with a force so great that he wondered if perhaps god had chosen to smite him for his sins.
“Meryl!” Wolfwood’s cry tore from his throat, sounding like a plea and prayer, a desire and need all rolled into one.
That was the sound she wanted to hear: desperate, needy, fully devoted to her, even if only for the moment. Meryl’s cunt enveloped Wolfwood’s pulsing dick, swallowing each twitch and jerk as he came inside her. Wolfwood’s voice fell to a vague murmur as his eyes closed to revel in the dopamine, lips parted as air rushed past them as his breath evened out.
Meryl gave him a few seconds to enjoy it before she started moving again, ignoring the pain in her legs. She’d just ruined the man she’d both wanted and resented for years, and he’d barely even apologized. Like hell she was going to stop now.
“Ah-wait!” Wolfwood’s raspy voice sounded almost pained as he grabbed her arm. “Too- no more, please, Meryl!”
“I thought you were going to atone?” Meryl stared down her nose at him, eyes dark with vindictive desire.
Terror and excitement welled in Wolfwood’s gut and he slowly let go. He had said that, and although this wasn’t exactly what he’d planned for, he wasn’t going to argue with her- to hell with his celibacy and priesthood. He could cross that bridge later. For the moment, he just wanted to stay here with her; to stay enveloped in her heat and fiery passion even if it blackened his soul with sin.
“Well, Nicholas?”
Wolfwood reached one shaky hand up to caress Meryl’s stomach, up her chest until he reached her face. Meryl’s eyes widened in shock, her harsh mask falling away as the priest rubbed a thumb across her lip, entranced by the way her cheeks heated and flushed like they used to when she was younger and he teased her. His chest tightened with regret, knowing that he could have kept her close even if she left the church if only he hadn’t been so flippant and careless. Even if his feelings of shame and desire were twisting into something he couldn’t name or understand, he just wanted to dig both of his hands into her hips and pull her closer, to beg for her to absolve him and let him stay here for the night- for every night.
“If I can earn your forgiveness, then I’ll do whatever it takes.”
Wolfwood pushed himself up, Meryl falling onto her back under him, positions flipped. He mouth had dropped open into a pretty little ‘o’, and Wolfwood pressed chaste, gentle kiss to her lips.
“I’ll beg at your altar until you take all my sins,” he brushed a strand of her dark hair behind her ear. “Until I’m fully yours. Just tell me what you want from me.”
“I…” Meryl was suddenly unsure, her heart fluttering like a bird in her chest.
She was supposed to be in charge. She was the one reeling him in, debasing and defiling him until he wasn’t worthy to be a man of god. Meryl reached up to tangle her hands in Woflwood’s hair, the realization of what she truly wanted finally dawning on her.
“I want to ruin you until your god won’t take you back,” she traced his jaw. “I hate him, and I hate that he has you and I don’t.”
Wolfwood’s face hovered inches above hers, humid breath mixing with hers as his lidded eyes were swallowed by want. Meryl cradled his cheeks with her hands, pressing a kiss to his lips with closed eyes. There was no malice or anger behind the movement this time as their mouths moved slowly, hungrily against each other. Hands tugged gently at each other, eager but not demanding. Lips separated to swallow air, both of them heady with the sudden whiplash of tenderness and sincerity. Wolfwood looked down at Meryl, dazed but content.
“So… you don’t like sharing?” he grinned.
Meryl’s voice was a whisper as she pulled him back down to her.
“I am a jealous god.”
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The 10 Best Christian Anime
Watching a couple of hundred series and hundreds of more episodes, movies, OVAs, and other anime content, I have been able to find several that can be relatable to Christians.
Now, I am not saying these are anime made by Christians, or for Christians, or are they biblical in theme.
There are a couple of those, but I don't recommend them as they are pretty ancient (Superbook, Flying House). Instead, the list below reflects anime that either has lessons that we can apply to our daily walk with God or biblical themes found in the characters or plot.
One way or another, for me, these anime reminded me of who God is or how He wants me to live my life to honor Him. Some you might know, while others might be a surprise. Let me know which ones you think should have been on the list, and which of these you enjoyed or want to watch!
The 10 Best Christian Anime
Trigun
This is an older series, one of my personal favorites that I watched years ago sometime after it was released. I had no idea it would have any Christian themes until analyzing it a long time after viewing it. The series is about a wanted man named Vash the Stampede, who has a mysterious past.
He is very silly, but is extremely skilled with a gun and has an impeccable aim. He is hunted by all sorts of people who want to collect his bounty, but the anime gets much better later on as you discover his history and what truly happened on the planet.
Vash's gentleness and desire to help others is his motto, “love and peace!”. He exemplifies good character, is respectful, but most of all, he understands the weight of his sins and seeks retribution for them. Along for the ride is Wolfwood, a priest with a large machine gun-shaped as a cross.
That doesn't make a lot of sense, but if you watch the anime, you'll see why his character is very impactful. Overall, I recommend this one even though the animation is somewhat dated; you will love this one if you like action, some comedy, and a strong plot.
Clannad
I have not watched this one again for some time, but now (as of this writing) it's on Netflix, I hope to rewatch it. It's a love story about two students who fall in love, friendships, and the hardships of life. What makes Clannad stand out for many fans, myself included, is how deep it hits you.
This show is not afraid to get real with emotions, daily struggles people go through when in a relationship or marriage, and the effects of depression and pain.
It can be a little bleak at times, as the content gets pretty heavy later on in the series. Don't let the beginning fool you, it's lighthearted and seems like a regular slice-of-life or school anime, but it hits your heart later on. I don't want to spoil anything, but let me know what you thought after watching it!
Haibane Renmei
Haibane is an older anime that you might not have heard of. It wasn't very popular, but the story was unique in that it deals with angels. The characters are all angels, dealing with their past in a slice-of-life and drama setting.
It's not a fast-paced, action-packed anime, but it deals with the repercussions of our actions, good or bad. It keeps the mystery of how they arrived where they are, which keeps you entertained. Overall, an excellent anime to watch if you aren't looking for anything heavy.
Violet Evergarden
Wow, this anime (which currently can be watched on Netflix) helped remind me why I love this genre of animation. There's so much bad, dull, or copy-cat animes out there that I was looking for a breath of fresh air, and I found it in Violet Evergarden.
The animation, for me, was excellent, and the story of how Violet becomes an Automemory doll, transcribing letters for clients to express themselves through words. The show delves into the meaning of love, finding peace in pain, and shares the personal stories of various characters in each episode.
It's a spectacular show that I hope you enjoy.
Kino no Tabi: The Beautiful World
I have not finished watching this whole series, as I am still going through it. This is a remake of the original, so you can either view the older version or the redone one from 2017. Kino rides a motorcycle (that talks!) through various places and nations, discovering different cultural, political, or other differences in each one.
What makes this anime special is how Kino interacts with the citizens or situations she is put in. It's a very philosophical anime that asks a lot of questions and gives us perspectives that we don't always have an answer for. I think it's good to have questions, and not have all the answers, because it makes us human and knows that we have to rely on God to help us even if we never understand it all.
Rurouni Kenshin
If you have never watched Rurouni Kenshin before, then you will are in for a treat. It's an older anime and looks a little dated, but the story and its main character are the highlights.
Kenshin is a traveling ex-assassin from a war that has ended in old Japan. He decides never to kill again, so he uses his reverse sword (its sharp side isn't used) to stop that causing chaos wherever he goes. His passion and conviction to not kill is an example to die to ourselves when we want to harm others.
It's hard to do, and Kenshin experiences very trying situations that push him to his limits, but you will have to watch the anime to see what happens. I recommend watching the New Kyoto Arc as it skips a lot of filler.
Samurai Champloo
Another older anime but a classic. It also deals with samurai, two of them, who go through various adventures with a young girl who tags along. The music is one of my favorites in a series, the animation is top-notch, as is the action, and it deals with a group of Christians around the end as part of the story.
It is somewhat historical, so you get a taste of what life was like in Japan back in these days, and I highly recommend checking it out.
My Hero Academia
This is a more recent anime that has gained a lot of popularity. It's all about superheroes, which is the perfect time to capitalize on that genre. MHA deals with a young group of students going to school at a hero school called U.A. and goes through their adventures of fighting villains, learning about their powers, and teamwork.
What makes this one stand out for me as a Christian, is its morality and how good overcomes evil. It doesn't make it so black and white every time, so it makes the viewer think if the villain's actions are justified or not.
Overall, it's a fun anime with action, drama, mystery, and quick-moving plots that keep you hooked!
My Last Day
Though it's not an anime series, it's a short video showing the crucifixion of Christ in excellent animation.
I highly recommend it, as it's a powerful display of what it might have looked like to see the Son of God take the cross, be crucified by the Romans, and how He left the grave.
Manga Messiah
Yes, it's a manga, but it's very well done. I am a proponent that if Christians are going to be involved in the creative arts (music, art, writing, etc.), we should do our best.
This series of manga goes from Genesis until I believe revelation, each volume dealing with a different section in the bible. This one deals with the coming of Jesus Christ, His miracles, and preaching the kingdom on Earth, death, and resurrection.
Definitely check it out if you're a manga fan.
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