🎶✨when u get this u have to put 5 songs u actually listen to, publish. then, send this ask/tag 10 5 of your favourite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool) 🎶✨
Okay my music taste is all over the place, so I chose 5 songs i’ve listened to in the past week and I included my favorite lyrics bc why not (you don’t have to lol)
1) Sway, Bic Runga (I am on a 90s kick lately, who isn’t)
And now it all turns sour
Come sweeten every afternoon
Say you'll stay
2) The Power of Love, Celine Dion (my Valentine’s outfit included the shirt I bought at her Vegas residency; it has a gold heart on it and says “the power of love” at the bottom and i love it. yes she was incredible live.)
The whispers in the morning
Of lovers sleeping tight
Are rolling by like thunder now
As I look in your eyes
3) Drivers License, Olivia Rodrigo (this is my new karaoke go-to; yes i rock it)
Today I drove through the suburbs
And pictured I was driving home to you
4) Hadestown, Original Broadway Cast Recording (I cannot pick a song from this; they’re all incredible. go listen; go find your nearest touring production or get thee to Broadway. i’m going for a second time in 3 weeks tomorrow, it’s fine
It’s you.
It’s me.
5) Horses, Maggie Rogers (omg you guys i saw her in concert last week and she was amazing! yes i lost my shit when she sang “light on” of course i did but i am giving love to another song today lol)
I see horses running wild, I wish
I could feel like that for just a minute
Tagging (if you’d like to join in): @invisibleraven, @where-you-go, @jmrothwell, @daintyduck99, @innytoes
I think one of the recurring themes in my life is rediscovering songs I was previously familiar with and seeing them in a different context. I think one of our local bands did a cover of this song it became sort of a hit. I knew that what they did was a cover but it was only when I was a senior in college that Sway had a personal meaning.
Out of all the songs I’ve featured on here, I think I remember this song the most clearly, since I associate this song with an important part of my life. That, of course, is my own story of queer, unrequited longing. It was over a guy I shared classes with, and we only had very few, very brief interactions during the three years where we had the same schedule. I was young and a shrinking violet to strangers with pimples and a burgeoning queerness. Confidence was a huge concern.
Fortunately, my music player came to my rescue (as always). In my part of the world, it rains a lot during June-July. Also, we were renting a small two-floor house with a cute terrace. What I’d do back then was, when it rained, I’d go to our terrace, sit on our old desk chair, and listen to Sway. I think of him. I think of his face, and what his voice sounds like. We never had a significant interaction, much less an interaction that lasted two minutes, so his physicality was the only thing I held onto. I don’t know how he is when he’s nervous, if he has a hobby he keeps secret, if he drinks tea. I don’t even imagine ourselves together. I just listen to Sway, let my skin get pelted by cold drops of rain, and think of him. Sometimes the rain stops, sometimes I get tired of listening to music, so I get up, take a shower, watch TV or do my assigned readings. Rinse, repeat. I think I got him out of my system before we graduated from college, but queer longing (or really, thirsting after straight-presenting men) is something that I still live with. In fact, three years after my graduation, I’ll find myself in the same place, and if this was longing was soft and composed, the next one will be angstier, angrier.
I think we’re at a point as a society where LGBTQ+ people are more seen and accepted and loved, and so we – more importantly our younger folk – have more role models and healthy representation. It wasn’t like that when I was growing up. The It Gets Better program was during my teenage years. The first same-sex kiss I ever watched was those two soldiers in Season 4 of Grey’s Anatomy. The first gay person I ever saw as a regular cast was Kevin Walker in Brothers and Sisters. Queer representation was few and far between, and a queer-led cast was unheard of, at least on my side of the world. I knew of gay couples IRL and in TV shows (this was how I found out about Hollyoaks and Eastenders), I knew in an abstract way that other guys could like another guy back, but back then I thought of it as something that could not happen to me. I know now that is false, but I guess longing is one of the many things we’re different from straight people.
I stalked his profile a few months back (we’re friends on Facebook). He looks the same as he did a decade ago. Turns out he’s married, has a business, and finished grad school. Some people are perfect, I guess