#bistcuits

[somestorythoughts]

"They also do things to cheeseburgers that would give the Corinthian nightmares." - lmfao over this why is it so freaking funny

I really like how you humanize Desire and give them a personality beyond Evil and Horny, but there’s something I always think about with them… of course they’re heavily tied to lust, what with their… everything. But in my experience, the thing people really talk about with desire is FOOD. I mean, how often is “guilty pleasure” about something to eat? We say junk food and little treat and craving and cheat day and all these things that ultimately boil down to food as a DESIRE, as a want.

I think Desire LOVES to eat. It’s 3 am where’s Desire? Oh they’re at the drive-thru and they just ordered one hundred chicken nuggets. What are they doing today? Oh they’re at the sushi buffet steadily depleting the ocean via tuna nigiri. When they say they could go for some ribs they’re going to eat an entire cow’s worth, with sauce, and maybe gnaw on the bones too. Those Instagram milkshakes with a pile of cream and a slice of cake and maybe some donuts threaded on the straw? Yea that was them. They had a craving, okay? Actually every “trendy” food that’s some kind of cheese-carb-hot Cheeto-meat-sauce-calorie bomb is probably their doing. They’re not DIET of the endless, okay? They get hungry.

Like yea Desire is hot and sexy. They also do things to cheeseburgers that would give the Corinthian nightmares. Probably inspired some of the Corinthian’s dietary habits, frankly. Dream saw Desire turn an entire field’s worth of watermelon to pulp on a warm summer day and was like “that’s the scariest shit I’ve ever seen. I’m making a guy about it”.

omg i love this SO much 😂 such a fun take on desire's power. yeah they would love food and all such indulgences. life's all about hunger, right?

i feel it's something desire and despair could bond over. despair's depression-binging a family size bag of m&ms meanwhile desire is dumping a whole bag of cheetos in their mouth just being like 'fuck yeah i love cheetos'

it's really no wonder every time dream's in the waking he's like 'i'm not hungry...' man's witnessed the horrors (super-mega-big gulp soda at 7-11) XD he's staying far away from that

this is so fun i'll incorporate it into my headcanons

[radiance1]

Vlad opened his eyes expecting to look up at his cieling.

The pair of eyes staring straight into his own was not what he wanted to see.

"I need you to make a clone of me." Danny, ever the grain of salt in a pile of sugar, said with all the tact of something who didn't just break into a man's room.

Vlad squinted up at him and scowled. "Hello to you as well, Daniel. Not even a good morning?" He groaned, reaching a hand up to massage his temple to try and offset the headache he could feel settling in. "Do you have the slight clue what time it is?"

"It's 3 AM."

Vlad blinked, and his scowled deepened. "That somehow makes it even worse." He sat up as Danny leaned back, and reached for his side table, taking up a glass with little difficulty and downing the water in few gulps. He then sighed and looked back at Danny. "What is this about making a clone of you?"

Danny crossed his arms and rolled his eyes. "Exactly what it sounds like, fruitloop. I need you," Danny pointed a finger at Vlad. "To make me," He then pointed that finger at himself. "A clone."

Vlad's eyebrow twitched at how Danny spoke. As if he were explaining someone complex to a child. He sighed, killing whatever retort was on his tongue to instead rest his head in his head.

"There should most likely be one left that I haven't melted down yet, do with that what you will." He shifted back some until he could rest against his headboard and waited for the nuisance to leave-

"Why are you shirtless?" Inquired the child that was still there.

Vlad opened his eyes to shoot his a glare and he scoffed. "Are you not going to run along towards whatever need you have for a clone, child. Or do you insist on ruining whatever peace I have left?"

"Is the clone an actual clone or..?" Danny tilted his eyes, eyes roaming off Vlad to the lump beside him.

"No, it won't suddenly come to life, it is just a body." Vlad explained as he manifested a wing to hide said lump from Danny's gaze. "So you need not worry about that part, though why you would need one is beyond me."

Danny stayed quiet for a moment, before shrugging. "You still have a clone of me though? That's kinda weird dud-" His smirk was slapped right off his smug face by a wing as he flew back a bit through the air.

He matched Vlad's glare with one of his own as he rubbed his face, before huffing. "Fine. I'm leaving now." He phased through the wall, leaving with the whisper of fruitloop and leaving Vlad in that blessed, of so sacred silence.

Sadly, it was not to last.

His bedroom door was slammed open, with enough strength to shake the entire room and cause the poor thing to slam into the wall with enough force to crack the blood thing. "Dad! Those weird birds are-" The voice momentarily interrupted by two shouts of alarm.

"SWEET BUTTER BISTCUITS!"

"JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!"

"-...Why are you naked...?" Danielle said, a look of disturbed confusion on her face before she ducked low to avoid a blast of magic. "Okay, now that was uncalled for- ewwwwwwwww!" She then screwed her eyes shut and put her hands over her eyes and looked as if she might puke.

Vlad, deciding to spare his daughter from a sight only he should've seen this morning and acquainted himself with quite thoroughly last night, he moved a wing to hide his partner's... private bits, from sight. Who then decided it would be the best idea to sit down.

On Vlad's wing.

If Vlad were any lesser man, he might have complained. But he was not. So he did not.

He did shift his wing around, however.

"You have a kid?" John Constantine, conman extraordinaire, rather shamelessly took the glass offered as Vlad covered the both of them with a sheet and drank the water. "Would a been nice to know before I shot at her, actually."

Vlad massaged the bridge of his nose, a headache coming on that in no way was because of a hangover and sighed through his nose. "She was not even supposed to be here for a week more, so there was no reason to tell you anything."

To which Constantine shrugged.

"Why are you here, Danielle. You were supposed," He stressed the word. "To be somewhere in Metropolis."

A single eye peeked out from between the girl's fingers, before she let out a relieved sigh and dropping her hands. "Those weird birds tracked me down to tell you they want to meet you." Dani wrinkled her nose. "Though I think you should put on clothes though.

"Weird birds-" Vlad paused, sneaking a glance over at his alarm clock to see that it was, in fact, 3:15 AM and groaned. he dropped his face into his hands. "Those blasted phoenixes, it's three in the morning!"

Dani just shrugged and stepped out of the room. "They're in your living room by the way, the fourth one down the hall that takes the two right turns, and they're getting pretty impatient." She then paused, staring straight at Constantine, who stared back with a raised eyebrow.

Water dripped down his face and down onto the bed as a ball of water slapped smack dab in the face as he reopened his eyes with an unamused expression.

Dani stuck her tongue out and then disappeared down the hall.

"Well, I'm awake now at least." Constantine said, reaching over Vlad's lap to place his now empty glass onto the side table.

A loud screech cut through the noise of the mansion, and for the second time. Vlad groaned.

It was only three in the morning...

[asunnydog]

“So like this one time, I was eating dog biscuits, and someone came in and said ‘don’t eat those! those are dog bistcuits!!’, so I stopped eating them.

So now i was crying, cause I thought they were made from dogs hey?, so I asked him, ‘are these Labrador flavored then??’

And he said ‘no no, they’re for dogs, not for you.’ So I said ‘aight’ and kept eating them.”

[onlydreamofmysoul]

biscuits are not scones, scones are entirely different than bistcuits

however, i have made both and both are delicious

-✨SA

Now I want scones but like, homemade ones that you eat right out of the oven and the butter just melts and mmm

[pansexualcake9]

BISTCUIT!!!! 💗💗💗

Was early for p4tr30n

Angle practice

[amumzlife]

Yummy #christmascookies! 😆 #christmasshortbread #christmasbiscuits #shortbreadcookies #shortbread #shortbreadbiscuits #christmas #christmasisintheair #baking #cookies #bistcuits #teatime #bake #ksmum #kstoys #youtuber

[harmonyblazeblog]

𝙒𝙝𝙞𝙩𝙚 𝘾𝙝𝙤𝙘𝙤𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙚 & 𝘽𝙖𝙞𝙡𝙚𝙮𝙨 𝘾𝙝𝙚𝙚𝙨𝙚𝙘𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙍𝙚𝙘𝙞𝙥𝙚 . . . ⁣ . . . save & share to spread the love for this devilish delight ✨ ⁣ 𝘐𝘯𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴; ⋆ 50g Unsalted Butter ⋆ 150g Digestive Bistcuits ⋆ 25g Dark Chocolate ⋆ 300g White Chocolate ⋆ 400g Cream Cheese ⋆ 75ml Soured Cream ⋆ 75ml Baileys ⋆ 2 Eggs ⋆ 1tsp Vanilla Extract ⋆ Cocoa Powder (for dusting) ⁣ Method; ⋆ Pre-heat oven to 160°C, grease and line the base of a 20cm cake tin (ideally spring form but not essential) with greaseproof paper. ⁣ ⋆ Melt the butter and broken up dark chocolate in small saucepan over a low heat • Whilst the butter and chocolate is melting crush or blitz your biscuits into a crumb and then stir them in whilst keeping the pan on a low light • Once the crumbs are evenly coated, empty them into your cake tin and press evenly over the base before popping in the the fridge to chill. ⁣ ⋆ Boil a kettle • Break the white chocolate into a bowl and then melt very gently over a pan of hot water (the chocolate should be hot to the touch but not so hot it burns), stir occasionally with a spoon until silky smooth. ⁣ ⋆Whilst the chocolate is melting, whisk your cream cheese and eggs together in a large bowl until smooth • Add the soured cream, Baileys and vanilla and whisk again until completely smooth with no lumps • If you don't fancy a tiddly cheesecake, simply double the amount of soured cream and leave the baileys out • Stir in the melted chocolate and mix together. ⁣ ⋆ Pour your white chocolate mixture into the tin and spread evenly over your chilled base • Bake in the preheated oven for about 45 minutes or until it is firm around the edge and just set in the middle. ⁣ ⋆ Remove from the oven and run a small knife around the edge of the tin and allow to cool & chill before removing the outside ring or lifting onto serving plate. ⁣ ⋆ Serve dusted with cocoa powder 👌🏻 (at West Yorkshire) https://www.instagram.com/p/CIDC721BXG2/?igshid=9q6ym3mhhwv7

[gifymeme]

mehmano ko green tea pilane ke fayde https://www.gifymeme.com/memes/hindi-meme/mehmano-ko-green-tea-pilane-ke-fayde/?feed_id=842&_unique_id=5ec151804edc0 #amir #bistcuit #funny #greentea #guest #hindi #hindimeme #log #milk

[rainbowmod]

Pistol: *She comes over and she sits with you* Bistcuit? *she takes a picture of you stuffing your face.* This place looks nice.

[mcrowcompany]

In the 50′s, biscuits were bistcuits. #fromtheattic