#bitcoin explainer

[tweedfrog]

Close enough, welcome back Lann the Clever 🙏 💸💯

[cryptomadesimple]

[undercooked-icicle]

Just went to the shop and the guy said "Cash, Card, or Crypto currency" and I look up and he is wearing a hat that says "I accept Bitcoin" and I almost choked on gum.

[darcyolsson]

in loving memory of tumblr's april fools' pranks 💐 2014 - 2024

icymi, tumblr used to do an elaborate april fool's prank every year, but this year they suddenly stopped. here's a somewhat detailed recap of everything they did over the decade:

2013 - mishapocalypse (honourable mention): tumblr staff didn’t start doing april fools until 2014, but the mishapocalypse happened on tumblr in 2013 and i feel like this list would be incomplete without it

2014 - tumblrpro: upon opening your dash you were greeted by an “inspirational” video, that ended with the option to get “tumblrpro (for free)”. all it did was put a top hat on your icon.

2015 - tumblr executivesuite/coppy: a copying machine appeared in the corner of your dash. it would offer tips on how to use tumblr, like clippy the paperclip used to do in microsoft word. as the day went on, it slowly broke down and died right in front of your eyes. many people hated him (but not me). you could also make a (small) spreadsheet. @executivesuite2016 is the official blog.

2016 - this is decision/lizard election/tumblrdecides: a parody of the 2016 US elections. there were 4 lizards (well, one of them turned out to be a salamander in a scandal) to vote for. the dash looked different and there was a live news report with election updates, as well as an election blog for each lizard. they all had their own slogans and you would get an "i voted" button after you voted that would get slapped next to your icon. there were built-in functions to make an election poster for your favourite lizard and to create a text post that supported your lizard of choice that autogenerated a statement for all your followers to read. imo tumblr’s april fools peak. @thisisdecision2016-blog is the official blog, @mop-2016-blog @wretchedtooth @timefordeborah-blog were candidates. rick also had a blog (rick-official) but that now seems to have vanished because he ended up dropping out of the election. mop won, if you're curious. by far the most elaborate prank tumblr ever did.

2017 - horse friend: a tamagotchi-inspired game where you had to take care of a little horse in the corner of your screen. it came with a randomly generated name, and you had to feed and clean up after it. if you didnt take good care of it, it died. you could then hatch (yes, hatch) a new one. there was also an option to look at the names of all your dead horses. this is now available to buy in the tumblr shop. @horse-friends is the official blog.

2018 - tumblcoin: a parody of cryptocurrency (this was the year bitcoin took off). you could ‘invest’ in tumblcoin, with which you could in turn buy things with to spice up your dash, including last year’s horse friend, coppy from 2015, and a frame for around your icon. you could share the amount of tumblcoin you owned in an automatically generated gif post which would be tagged #tbc2018 and #tumblcoin. @tumblcoin is the official blog.

2019 - @memories: this blog still functions the way it did on april fools itself! it's like mad libs, where it takes post templates and then adds in tags you use a lot and users you frequently interact with on your main blog. like a personalized shitpost bot.

2020 - group chat prank/@storybot: it was so hard to find info on this because it was contained entirely in the now-defunct group chat function, which no one used. i had to go through the notes of this post for information because no one cared enough to actually write anything explaining it. turns out, you could write a story with your mutuals by adding storybot to your group chat. it also kept working after april fools (well, up until the group chats were deleted) just like memories. many people missed out on it entirely because they did not use the group chat function.

2021 - tumblcryptids: tumblr allowed you to adopt “non-fungible tumblcryptids”, a parody of NFTs. clicking a button that said "Summon thy Tumblrcryptid" would spawn an image of a little blob-shaped creature with a short description, which would always read "Hi! My name is [randomly generated name]. I love [thing most people like]. I hate [thing most people dislike]. Like my parent, I can't get enough of #[tag from your main blog]." you could share them in a post, which would automatically add the tag #NFTumblcryptids to your post. and yes, people on the piss on the poor website freaked out about it because they thought they were real NFTs harming the environment. @tumblcryptidadoptioncenter is the official blog.

2022 - click-a-thon: when you clicked a light switch on your dashboard, a bunch of colourful things showed up, like a sponge you could move around, an "engagament meter", clickable buttons, and a “Summon Crab!” button, which would summon a crab when you clicked it. you could. the crabs, like horse friend, are still available in the tumblr store as of 2025. here's some screenshots. there were various ways to share your crab activities, which would all get tagged #april fools 2022. the prank was presented as a marketing technique created by Brick Whartley, a fictional businessman character created by tumblr, who (afaik) originated in a post on the official blog of the 2018 april fools prank, albeit originally in a different role. around this time he also started functioning as the mascot for tumblr's shop ( @emporium )

2023 - abstract reactions (emoji reacts): buttons were added to every post that allowed you to add emoji reactions, many of them based on tumblr inside jokes (horse as a reference to horse plinko/horse friend, vanilla for the vanilla extract meme, pikaman, bug for bug race, and brick whartley, who wasn't a meme but staff really wanted him to be). if one specific emoji was used a certain amount of times it would add an effect to the post, eg many cheese emoji reacts would cover the post in cheese. this was also attributed to Brick Whartley ("his" blog @brickwhartley also documented the day)

2024 - boop-o-meter: allowed you to “boop” other users who had opted in to the booping, like facebook’s poke feature back in the day. depending on how long you held the button, you would either boop, super boop, or evil boop. on the dashboard there was a counter for both how many times you had booped others and how many times others had booped you, as well as how many boops were given side-wide. when booping someone, an image of a cat paw appeared. you would get badges (which can still be used) for booping 1, 100 and 1000 times. if you gave/received more than 999 boops, the counter would switch to showing a three-letter word (see this post for specifics). this was brought back for halloween 2024 (as BOOp-o-meter. get it), with a ghost, skeleton and mummy paw. no official blog, but here's an official recap for april first from staff. i believe this was the only april fools prank that was mobile user friendly.

2025 - @fandom is running some polls, i guess

[liberalsarecool]

Ask Trump to explain Bitcoin and why he promised the Crypto Bros the US would maintain a Bitcoin reserve.

Ask Trump to explain Marxism.

[randyorton66]

The Great Reset And The Rise Of Bitcoin

Welcome to "Financial Life," your gateway to navigating the complexities of the modern financial landscape. In this video, titled "The Great Reset And The Rise Of Bitcoin," we delve deep into the transformative forces shaping our economic future.

👉 Subscribe to my channel to stay tuned: https://bit.ly/4aXYMxD

In this discussion, we discuss the pivotal role of debt and credit dynamics in driving economic cycles and the consequences of departing from sound monetary principles. Explore how Bitcoin, conceived in the aftermath of the 2008 financial crisis, represents a radical departure from traditional monetary systems, embodying the ethos of financial sovereignty and offering a decentralized alternative to fiat currencies.

As governments race to develop Central Bank Digital Currencies (CBDCs), we analyze the implications for individual privacy and financial autonomy, contrasting CBDCs with Bitcoin's decentralized infrastructure. Discover why institutional investors are increasingly flocking to Bitcoin as a hedge against inflation and geopolitical instability, signaling a watershed moment in Bitcoin's journey from fringe curiosity to mainstream acceptance.

Delve deep into the fascinating realm of economics and digital innovation as we explore the evolution of economic cycles, the departure from the gold standard, and the rise of decentralized digital currencies.

If you're curious about the future of finance and the transformative potential of Bitcoin, don't miss "The Great Reset And The Rise Of Bitcoin." Like, share, and subscribe to our channel for more valuable content on economics, finance, and digital innovation.

[health-tips-23]

Blockchain Technology Explained: Understanding the Basics

[cryptomadesimple]

🌟 "Top 3 Crypto Myths Debunked" – Don’t Fall for These! 💡

🚨 Top 3 Crypto Myths Debunked! 🚨

There’s a LOT of misinformation about crypto. Let’s clear things up. 👇

🔥 Myth #1: "Crypto has no real value." ✅ Reality: Bitcoin is digital gold—it has scarcity (only 21M BTC), and people agree it’s valuable. Just like how paper money has value because we trust it, crypto works the same way.

🔥 Myth #2: "Crypto is only for criminals." ✅ Reality: Less than 1% of crypto transactions involve crime (compared to billions in cash-based crime). In fact, blockchain is transparent, making it HARDER to hide illicit activity!

🔥 Myth #3: "Crypto is just a fad." ✅ Reality: Banks, corporations, and even governments are investing in blockchain tech. The industry is still evolving—just like the early internet!

Don’t believe the myths. Stay informed & take control of your financial future! 🚀

📩 What’s another crypto myth you’ve heard? Drop it in the comments! 🔁 Reblog to educate others!

[bitcoinversed]

ELI5 Bitcoin: Explain bitcoin Like I'm Five

Hey there, curious minds, allow me to break Bitcoin down so a five-year-old can understand it…

Ever tried to wrap your head around Bitcoin and ended up with a mega brain freeze? Don’t stress. Remember when you first tried to figure out the Internet and all its wizardry? Yep, most of us still can’t explain all those geeky bits and bytes, but hey, we’re all pros at scrolling through our favorite sites.

Bitcoin? Kinda the same deal. It’s the cool kid on the block that’s setting the stage for a bunch of exciting financial stuff (think money, but cooler and techier!). You don’t need a PhD to get it. But if you’re itching to get the lowdown on Bitcoin without the jargon, stick around. Let’s dive in! 🚀  Read more a Bitcoin Versed...

[secretstime]

[assilstore]

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Skinnamarinkstump Linkdump

I'm on a 20+ city book tour for my new novel PICKS AND SHOVELS. Catch me TODAY (Feb 15) for a virtual event with YANIS VAROUFAKIS, and on MONDAY (Feb 17) for an event at KEPLER'S in MENLO PARK with CHARLIE JANE ANDERS. More tour dates here.

It's Saturday and I'm on a book tour, and the world is in chaos, and there are more links to write about than I could fit in to this week's newsletter, so time for a cubic linkdump, the 27th such:

https://pluralistic.net/tag/linkdump/

Let's start with the best thing I saw all week: a 3D-printed, spring-loaded, clockwork chess pawn that uses a magnet to sense when it has reached the end of the board and SPROING! turns into a queen:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CSOnnle3zbA

The whole video is a fascinating account of the design process, from idea to prototype to finished item, but if you're impatient and want to skip right to the eyeball kick, it's at 12:27-12:35. And if you want to print your own, the files are $12 (cheap!):

https://www.patreon.com/WorksByDesign/shop/queen-pawn-3d-printing-files-614491?source=storefront

Regrettably, not every tech project is a good one. This week, Google abandoned its AI ethics pledge. Unlike most AI ethics pledge, which are full of nonsense about not accidentally creating a vengeful god that turns the human race into paperclips, Google's AI pledge was actually very important, in that the company promised not to make AI that violates human rights, international law, or privacy. There comes a point where harping on Google's abandoned "don't be evil" motto can feel a little hacky, but in this case, I'll make an exception. My EFF colleague Matthew Guariglia tears Google a much-deserved new AIhole over this latest heel turn:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2025/02/google-wrong-side-history

Not all bad technology is evil. Some of it is merely very, very stupid. How stupid? Check out Thom Dunn's Wirecutter review of The Heatbit Trio, a space-heater that uses Bitcoin-mining GPUs to generate some of its heat, very slightly offsetting the cost of warming your room – but at a rate that would take decades to recoup the $700 price-tag. Thom got some spicy quotes from Molly White for this one – possibly the first time she's been cited in a home appliance review:

https://www.nytimes.com/wirecutter/reviews/heatbit-space-heater-review/

Staying with crypto freaks for a moment here, Adam Levitin dissects the cryptocurrency "industry"'s latest chorus of aggrieved whining over "debanking":

https://www.creditslips.org/creditslips/2025/02/debanked-by-the-market.html

As Levitin writes, banks aren't kicking cryptocurrency "companies" off their books because the government wants to punish them. Banks have a very good reason to want to avoid doing business with high-dollar scams that have highly correlated implosions, which is to say, times when everyone wants their money back from the cryptocurrency "company" the bank is handling charges for. For a longer explanation that gets into the nitty gritty of bank supervision, check out Patio11's excellent, detailed explainer:

https://www.bitsaboutmoney.com/archive/debanking-and-debunking/

As all the real heads know, "crypto means cryptography," and cryptographers continue to contrive privacy marvels. This week, Kagi – the best search engine, a million times better than Google – released a Privacy Pass authentication plugin, which lets you login to Kagi and run searches without Kagi being able to connect any of the searches you make with your account:

https://blog.kagi.com/kagi-privacy-pass

As an sf/crime writer who sometimes (often) searches for information on committing ghastly crimes and 'orrible murders, the fact that my favorite search engine will be technically incapable of tying those searches to my identity is quite a relief. Read my review of Kagi here:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/04/04/teach-me-how-to-shruggie/#kagi

If you're one of those marvel-contriving hackers, cryptographers, security researchers or tinkerers, you should really consider attending this summer's Hackers on Planet Earth (HOPE), 2600 Magazine's (now) annual (formerly biennial) hacker con. They've just posted their CFP – get those submission in!

https://www.hope.net/cfp-talks.html

Well, I have to post this and get ready for this morning's virtual book tour event with Yanis Varoufakis:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xkIDep7Z4LM

But before I go, one more link: Kevin Steele's 2005 essay on Hypercard, "When Multimedia Was Black & White," an absolute classic, and a beautiful meditation on the art and promise of early hypertext:

https://web.archive.org/web/20240213190609/http://www.kevinsteele.com/smackerel/black_white_00.html

I've known Kevin for most of my life, long before he helped found Mackerel, the pioneering Toronto multimedia company. Long after Mackerel, Kevin went on making wonderful things. In 2023, he published a monumental act of portraiture – a "sequential art" time-series of panoramas of Toronto's hip, ever-changing Queen Street West strip:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/13/spadina-to-bathurst/#dukes-cycle

Comparing Kevin's more recent work with that lovely old essay reveals deep correspondences and the progress of a unique and creative soul.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2025/02/15/intermixture/#debunking-debanking

[liberalsarecool]

Please, journalists everywhere, demand Trump explain cryptocurrency and Bitcoin.

Trump will 'nobody knows more about crypto than me' and never be tested.

It's journalistic dereliction of duty.

Are you afraid to show Trump is painfully dumb?

[maiamore]

NEW BEGINNINGS

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female!Reader - No Outbreak

Rating: 18+ | W/C: 4.3k

Summary: You decide to go to your office's New Year's party, what you get in exchange is far more than you bargained for.

Tags: lawyer a/u, alcohol consumption, slight angst, colleagues to lovers type, able bodied reader, p-in-v, unprotected sex, mentions of anal, unrealistic sex (please practice safe sex irl), mutual pining, f!receiving oral, degrading words during sex, edging, orgasm denial, filthy FILTHY smut, unspecified age gap

A/N: got this out of my system finally, just love seeing these two fools try to be ignore their feelings. my advice to colleague/office romance? just fuck!! MAIN STORY | MASTERLIST

New Year’s Day, 2023

“They’re Dior!” 

“Oh. Are they?” You retort politely—failing in showing interest in whatever the man standing before you had to say about his cufflinks, off all things. Your voice competes against the blaring music in the bar. You’d been cornered by an associate, Marcus—you worked with him at Miller Associates. Looking around for your colleague who’d conveniently disappeared. 

“I’m gonna get a drink! Be right–...” You went silent before even completing your sentence. No, you would not be right back. 

Marcus on the other hand, nodded, eagerly letting you be. Squeezing your way to the bar, you got yourself two cocktail shots. Somehow, you’d allowed yourself to be roped into going into this year's office new years get together at some hoity toity hipster bar in Manhattan, against your better judgement. Serena—your deskmate at work, insisted that you didn’t skip this year, only for her to abandon you entirely twenty minutes in. 

You tugged the hem of the uncomfortably short dress you had on, tucking it beneath you as you sat by the corner of the bars to isolate yourself from the laughter and chaos around. Your coworkers had all been scattered around the bar by now, celebrating within their little groups. 

11:15pm. 

You were counting down too. Not for the new years—but for when you finally could slip out and not feel guilty for not trying to enjoy this time out.

The second you’d swallowed the cooled, sickeningly sweet liquid, a slow exhale left your lips. This wasn’t what you wanted to be doing, no. You flicked through your phone, empathy texts from your parents and friends telling you��don’t worry, take it again next year—not everyone nails the LSATs the second time trying. 

You cringed at the unwelcome reality. That called for another cocktail shot for sure.

“Hey! Lost you back there.” You looked back, lips pulling taut into a polite smile. Watching Marcus unsteadily drags a chair next to you. As much as he was a polite guy and all, you didn’t know how much more you could take in season two of “what other branded shit do I have on me.”

You just didn’t have it in you to say no. 

For the next fifteen minutes, you stayed and listened to him enthusiastically explain how he’d begun mining bitcoin in his free time to be able to afford all his swag. 

Downing what was definitely your fifth shot, you mustered up the courage to get up. “Um..Actually—I really need to find Serena.” You explained, cutting Marcus off mid sentence when he’d been about to dive into something about being the master of your own finances. “Oh yeah, no worries. See you next week.”

You’d only taken a few steps forward when vertigo hit you. Half from the alcohol, half from having to sit and take lessons from Mr Bitcoin back there. The ground grew closer and you didn’t have quick enough reflexes to stop it. Shutting your eyes tightly to brace the impact.

A rough tug pulls you back up, albeit—by the chains of your purse. With it, you had enough momentum to stagger backwards into your apparent savior. You blinked. Joel's deep brown eyes looking into yours. He shifts to hold the other side of your shoulder to make sure you were steady enough before guiding you to sit down by the bar chairs. Joel. Joel Miller. One of the name partners at the firm you worked in, so, your boss. 

The music thumped so loud you could feel it in your chest, the countdown clock on the wall ticking closer to midnight. Confetti already littered the floor, sticking to shoes and drink spills. It was loud, messy, and unapologetically festive—definitely not a scene you’d expected him to show up in.

“Thanks.” You managed. Brushing off the embarrassment from the way you had to be caught. At least you had confirmation that the purse chains held up. 

You tried not to gawk at the shadow that was sheltering you like a warm embrace. In the past two years of working at the firm, your exchanges with Joel were limited. For some reason—tense too. More often than not, you’d catch him staring at you with an intense look he gets like he was about to reprimand you. Despite that, you couldn’t deny how he was quite possibly the only man you were hung up on even without reaching the dating phase. It was like idolising an unreachable celebrity.  

His tailored suits, now switched out for a fitted grey t-shirt and a brown leather jacket with worn jeans. Thick silver rings on his index finger and thumb. 

He seemed different. In the best ways possible, his out of work presence was, to put it nicely, way too fucking hot. 

Joel decided he was here out of professional courtesy. 

With his mother offering to keep Sarah company for the night, he figured he’d have a couple of drinks, greet his employees and head home before the ball dropped. He had his schedule for the night down.

It all went to shit the second he saw you by the bar alone, until his associate at the firm decided to grace you with his presence.

He made an effort to know every employee that worked with him and you stood out. For all the wrong reasons. He was infatuated with you the second he had the pleasure of meeting and it threw him off kilter every. damn. time. Joel could’ve easily had you transferred to another floor in the building. Mergers & Acquisitions he supposed, you would’ve been a good fit. 

But he was a selfish man. He wanted you around him—just long enough until he’d figured out just what to do with you.

Joel finally takes a seat next to you, dragging his palms flat against the wooden surface. You pathetically were entranced at every goddamn gesture of his. His hands were so, so wide. You swallowed. The carnal need for him interrupts all civil thoughts. 

“Darlin’. You with me?”

Oh. That went straight to your cunt. His southern drawl was impossible to ignore, pulling your focus entirely. As he folded his arms across his chest, the motion made the top half of his shirt pull taut, accentuating his frame.

You were surprised he’d stuck around at all—his words barely registered. Instead, your attention was caught on the loose, dark brown curls framing his face and the black rimmed glasses perched perfectly on the gentle curve of his nose.

“Yeah. Yes. Sorry. You were saying?” You managed, after an awkward clear of the throat.

“I asked if you were a masochist.”

A perfectly rehearsed answer was about to leave your lips. Like yes, Mr Miller, I am excited for the new year. Not…whatever the fuck that was. You had to have heard him wrong. Your brows pressed into a furrow. Maybe he was referring to the uncomfortable shoes you were wearing. “Oh…I mean when you drink enough it dulls the pain and all.” You offered. Glancing at your strappy heels. 

He sucks in a breath he didn’t know he held. Joel was generally a respectful man. Gaze never lingered longer where it wasn’t appropriate. And there you were, in the most sinful fucking dress he’d ever laid eyes on. His gaze followed the path of your own, lingering briefly at your ankles before traveling up the length of your dress.

He shifts. Hoping the rising tent in his jeans wouldn’t give his thoughts away. You were too pretty and too young for an old man like him.

You felt heat creeping up your neck and settling on your cheeks. The way he’d been looking made you feel more exposed than ever. 

“M’talkin’ about you sittin’ through…all that crap bout’...crypt coin..bit currency.” He finally says, rubbing the back of his shoulder. You bit back a smile when he’d messed up the terms. It was a little endearing. “...You were listening?”

He hadn’t meant to, not at first. He’d only stopped by the bar for a drink, or so he told himself. But then he saw you—attentively listening to Marcus drone on and on—and found himself lingering pathetically near the edge of the area where you’d been sitting.

“Hard not to. Kid was practically yellin’,” Joel muttered, his tone casual, though the faint flush creeping along his neck betrayed him.

“It wasn’t that bad.”

The corner of his lips lifted up into a slight smirk in amusement. “Course’. Because you were so eager to stay.” You frowned. He was right, you probably left a cartoon like dust silhouette of your body the moment you found the window to leave. 

“Boy like that wouldn’t know what t’do with a good girl if he had one.”

You stared at him blankly, heartbeat picking up at his words. What the hell did that mean? Maybe you were drunker than you thought. It sounded like he was flirting. His gaze on the other hand, hadn’t wavered.

“Are you implying you could do better?” You managed, forcing your voice to stay steady as you tried not to overthink the implication behind his words. Flirting with your boss was already a dangerous game, and the thought of embarrassing yourself by hitting on someone nearly a decade older only made you hesitate.

He scoffs. Thumb coming up to swipe over his bottom lips as though in thought. “Yeah. That’s exactly what I’m sayin’.”

You’re fixated on the way he subconsciously draws attention to his lips now. 

He takes a sip from the half filled out whiskey glass loosely between his forefingers and thumb. Settling into a brief silence.

“Are you having a good time?” He looks at you with renewed interest as you speak up again. “I mean—It’s just that I don’t usually see you in an out of work celebration.”

He raises a brow at the way you’d rambled on. “So…since you’re still here I figured…” You turned away slightly. Cringing at the sound of your own voice. How long had you been talking for?

“S’not really my scene, sweetheart,” Joel responds finally, his drawl cutting through the noise.

You eyed the rowdy crowd, the room was a blur of blue ambient lights, you could hardly make out his expression through it. “Me neither.” You offered with a smile—a genuine one at that. 

“It’s easier.” He says. Slowly. He’s finally able to see your face clearly. Features gently reflecting the dim lighting of the bar. “You make it easier.”

A bright light causes you to wince, bringing your hand to shield your eyes. Interrupting your train of thought. The bar's overhead lighting switches on. The massive speakers screeched a little as someone took the stand at the live band area. 

Folks, grab your date or friends and head down to the floors, because our five minute countdown to the new year starts now!

“Oh fuck.” You muttered under your breath, watching the swarm of people congregate in the middle. You were calling time of death at this, it was a little much for you now. 

Your heart was still thrumming at Joel’s sudden admittance, when you’d looked at him, his deep brown eyes had already been on yours. A flutter of something in the air keeps you warm. 

He leans in next to your ears. “Talk outside?” Your nose gently brushes past the scruff of his beard as you turn. The scent of Patchouli & Vanilla, with a tinge of fabric softener filled your senses.

“…Okay.”

Being shoved and pushed wasn’t on your agenda today, you’d pretty much been swallowed by the crazies around you just trying to leave the place. Thankfully, Joel had been practically wedged behind you like a sturdy wall amidst all the awkward shoves. 

Your hands instinctively grips around Joel’s arms when another particularly rough push from someone elbowing you had you careening backwards into Joel. 

“Easy, exit’s out front.” His voice sounded strained somehow. He’d finally allowed you to step away, though as you regained your footing, you shifted back into his pelvis. A low grunt rumbled in his throat at your unwitting action. Your breath hitches when you’d felt the unmistakable strain against Joel’s jeans, poking against your back.

Looking up at him with your wide eyes and down to the sizable bulge. He awkwardly adjusts the crotch of his jeans, avoiding looking directly at you.

Was he hard? Just from brushing against you? More importantly, how long had he been sporting a damn boner? 

“Sorry. Don’t know why it...” He tries. He was surprised he could even get it up with how busy he’d been as of late. 

You’d attempted not to let it show just how his discomposure at a natural reaction was presently igniting parts of you that lay dormant for years. Seeing him so visibly react to you, had your core aching with need. 

Fuck it. 

Your body twists, both palms resting against the base of his neck—tip-toeing to barely meet his height—you lean in and slot your lips against his, though misaimed. His glasses pressed at an awkward angle at your movements. Trying again, you tilt your head to kiss him more assuredly when he hadn’t pushed you away completely. He groaned in your lips. 

Joel moves to cup his palms against the back of your head. His other hand tugging you by your hips. He dips his head lower to reciprocate your soft little pecks with a much, much deeper intensity. The second you’d parted your lips a little wider, all the sweet sentiments of a first kiss dissipates. 

Though, he seems to have some semblance of the situation, pulling you out of your haze. Searching your face for a sign. Any sign of hesitation. He places a tentative, hesitant kiss against your pulse point. “Tell me to stop and I will.” His arm curls around your waist to pull you fully against his body. 

The countdown timer flashed on the screens above the bar, its sudden glow cutting through the haze of desperation that grew dangerously. The atmosphere shifts, the pulse of the moment broken, and the world outside of the dance floor suddenly seemed to return to focus. 

“Let’s just get out of here.” You managed.

—

Joel had noticed how jittery you seemed, he wanted nothing more than to take his time with you. But he feared the longer you’d both have to think, the more you’d have realised how much of a bad idea it was. Frankly, he didn’t know if he had it in him to wait any longer either.

You blinked at him in confusion when drops down to his knees against the gravel. Heart pounding in your ears watching this six foot man before you like this. 

An audible groan leaves his lips when he slides the hem of your dress up with sturdy palms on the both sides of your hips. “Dirty girl, goin’ around with no panties?” Your lips briefly quivered at his words, feeling a tinge of humiliation from it, but the way he’d looked on his knees for you drowned out every other thought. 

“I didn’t think I needed to with the dress.” You managed. Pouted, really. He pressed kisses up your knees, scruff gently brushes past your inner thighs. “Didn’t say it was a bad thing.” 

Joel kneads the softness of your hips. Bunching up the fabric above, your slick pussy glistening. 

With no warning, he licks a stripe up your already sopping wet cunt. Jolting at the sensation, Joel didn’t let you inch away from him.“Wait, Mr Miller, I’m—” His palm slides under your thigh to hike it over his shoulder, stopping when he hears your plea.

“Joel, sweetheart. I’ve got my face buried in your pussy, think we’re over the formalities.” 

A louder moan escapes your lips along with a breath you didn’t know you held when he dives back into your cunt. “O-Oh my god!” Your back arches against the alley’s walls, scratching over the gravelly surface. His fingers dig into the plump of your thighs, probing his tongue into your velvety soft walls. He didn’t care how messy & sloppy it got, no—your unrestrained moans were encouraging him further. “Shit—you’re fuckin’ soakin’ me.” He mutters against your cunt.

You involuntarily ground against his mouth when you’d felt the vibrations of his voice against your clit. The curve of his nose notches perfectly against it. “Th-...there. Right there.” He hummed against your pussy, lapping at your clit, sucking your sensitive bud relentlessly. Judging by how your tight walls were pulsating around his tongue, he knew that you were close. He drags your hand to the back of his head, allowing you to grind against him as you wished.

“Take what you need, baby.”

Your head tips back when he tongue fucks your pussy, alternating with deep sucks to your clit. The sensation causes you to clench around him. “Joel—” You stuttered out. Curling your fingers into the softness of his hair. Your hips subconsciously moved to ride against his nose, the stimulation of it all had you trembling like a baby deer. Not even your most expensive vibrators could match the intensity Joel was eating you out with. 

Joel didn’t stop what he was doing. Not even taking a moment to take a fucking breath. If he’d died eating your pussy like this, he’d die a happy man. His other hand slides to the base of your ass, dragging his slick coated fingers down to your tight little hole to probe against the entrance. You groaned out at the intrusion, your puckered hole welcoming his thick slippery finger. “T-too much–” You cried out. Tugging his head against your clit. “Y-yes, yes, god, oh my god, yes!”

You wriggled your hips backwards and away from his mouth abruptly. The absence of his fingers having stuffed you, had your pussy pulsing around nothing in your white hot release. 

As you were trying to come to, Joel sits back on his heels with a heaving breath. Admiring you in your fucked out state. He was fucked. Just a taste of you was enough for him. He needed you.

He brings up his wrists to wipe his lips a little. Standing up with his hand anchored to your hips, making sure you wouldn’t fall when your legs had threatened to give out on you.

Joel’s thumbs gently swipes over your bottom lips, lifting your face up with his pointer and middle finger. “What am I going to do with you?” He mutters, more to himself before he leans down to kiss you slowly—coaxing you out of the haze of your orgasm. You loll your head to the side to meet his deep kisses, the taste of your slick with the mix of fruity cocktails and whiskey proving to be an intoxicating combination.

You couldn’t think straight—arms falling limp around his neck to drag him impossibly close. Suckling onto his tongue in a messy, sloppy back and forth. You weren’t even sure if you could speak anymore. He pulls away from your lips with an obscene pop. Gazing deeply into your eyes.

“Need to fuck you baby. Can I?” He whispers, thumb swiping around your smeared glitter eye makeup. “Just need a nod, sweetheart.” It’d taken you a couple more seconds, after feeling Joel fix your dress. Frankly, you weren’t sure if you could take any more. But the way he’d been willing to pull out all stops despite how painfully his cock was bursting at the seams in his jeans had you feeling like you’d be in good hands.

You tipped your head slightly to get in his line of vision, you bit down on your lips, nodding slowly.

“Good fucking girl.” He praises. Rubbing the back of your waist gently. 

The sharp buckle of his jeans snapped your gaze downwards. A deep gasp leaving your lip. The coarse, neatly trimmed curled hairs guiding your vision to his thick cock, pre-come already dripping down the tip. It tenses on its own, growing harder by the second. 

He brings your hand up to your chin, right below your lips. “Spit.”  You lock your gaze with his. Your tongue swiping your lower lips and letting a dribble of your own spit collect in your palm. You swore you could see his eyes twitch slightly as you did so. 

His hands then twist around your wrist, lowering your spit-coated hand onto his cock. He groaned at the sensation. “Jus’ like that.” He rumbles against the side of your head, feeling your soft, slippery hands stroke his cock. “See how hard you make me?”

Your thighs clenched at his words. Your cunt aching and desperate for something. Anything. 

“Joel, I can’t—” He tutted at your desperate tone, kissing down your neck. “Can’t what baby? Can’t take it anymore? I should just stop, hm?” You let out a pathetic wine at your words. Pumping his cock fully, feeling his full length. It was hot, and throbbing. You wanted him in you. 

“Please.” Your cunt was aching for him desperately. He lets out a hiss at the way your thumb rubs over the slit of his cock, grabbing your wrist to halt your movements. He wanted to come inside you, one way or another. Not like this. 

“Please what? Gotta tell me what you need.” Your head falls against his shoulder. Growing increasingly frustrated.

“Need you to fuck me, Joel. Need him.” He’d pulled the filthy words out of you so damn easily. Forcing your hand despite his grip around your wrists—you jerk his cock from the base to the tip in a ring, up & down with your forefingers and thumb. His hips stuttered slightly, that particular stroke and your desperate plea nearly had him coming in your hands. 

“Fuck!” He grips painfully around the base of his cock. With a grunt, he holds your hips and turns you abruptly. Lust fueled anger filling his mind. 

“You wanna be fucked like a desperate little slut? I’ll give you what you want.” His voice was muffled against the back of your head. You’d let out a ‘unnh!’ in response to his sudden sternness. 

Joel rubbed the base of his cock, coated with your spit and slick, nudging at your entrance. His other hand cradling your forehead so the brick walls wouldn’t hurt you. With a snap of his hips, he fully buries himself to the hilt into your pussy. 

The both of you groaned at the same time. “Fuck, tight snatch swallowing me whole.” He fucks you at a bruising pace. Hoisting you against his chest. 

“This—”, he grunts. Punctuating his every word with each thrust. 

“What—“ 

“You—” 

“Wanted?” 

Your head tips back against his shoulder. “Mhnn—fuck!” Your pussy flutters around his cock, reeling at every time his hips ground in a circle in you everytime it snapped against your ass. His heavy balls slapping against your clit. 

With a sharp gasp, Joel tugged you further into him. Pressing his body weight against your back, his strong arm holding you up securely.  

Your forearms pressed against the brick walls with a heavy exhale. He readjusts to rest both his hands on your hips. He begins to pound his hips into yours, stopping to grind his cock deep into you. Watching his cock get swallowed as he fucked you from the back. “Soft pussy’s gonna devour me fuckin’ whole.” He growls against your shoulder. His sweat mixing against your cheeks. 

“Fuck—yes! Yesyesyesyes!” You’d bounced back against his cock. Slurring your words. Your thighs quivered finally in the wake of your second orgasm of the night. Warm streaks of tears trickling down your cheeks. You tiptoeing as your thighs tensed up. Your walls convulsing around Joel’s cock as you came. 

He slows his pace just so he could drag out the feeling of his cock pulsing in your tight pussy. It was embarrassing just how easily you'd gotten him stuttering at your mercy.

“Sweetheart…” He breathes out, slowly. He presses open mouthed kisses against your neck. Grinding his hips into you desperately. In a moment of clarity after your orgasm earlier, you tipped your head back. “N-Not…inside.” 

Briefly, a dark look took over Joel’s gaze. 

He pulls out, pumping his cock still. He’d respect your wishes regardless. But then, your hands clumsily felt for him, guiding his cock to your tight ring of muscle. 

“Fuck—“ Immediately, he angles his cock against the entrance of your ass at your offer, notching the cockhead in. Groaning at how greedily you were sucking him in. You moaned at the intrusion, relaxing yourself to take him in—the slick and slipperiness making it a little easier. 

He groans out, wincing at the sensation of the muscles threatening to milk him dry. With a lazy and slow thrust, he fills you with hot spurts of his spend. 

With a few heaving pants, he pulls out of your ass, watching the creamy ring pulsate with his milky white come. “You alright, sweetheart?” He tips your head to face him. Rubbing your tear stricken cheeks clean. “M-…Mhm..” You manage. Unsteadily straightening up. 

“Mhm?” He repeats. Turning you back around gently. Tilting his head to meet your eye level. “Words, baby.”

“I’m okay. I promise.”

His lips meet yours. Kissing you reverently, to the corners of your lips and then against your flushed cheeks. Not wanting to break you, as though he hadn’t spent the better half of an hour fucking you senseless. 

He grabs a handkerchief from his jacket pocket, swiping the fabric to gather the uncomfortable slick from your thighs. 

You peered up at him through your lashes. The blue lights from the signage above the both of you illuminate your features. Joel swore this feeling was what those stupid love songs were always on about. He’d never felt that, not even for the mother of his daughter. 

The wash of reality was apparent in your post orgasmic silent haze while the two of you cleaned up. Not that it mattered. “Mr Miller—”

You tried. He shot you a warning look. His own heart twists at how easily you’d shut this all down. If he wasn’t sober before, he sure as hell was now. 

“Not yet.”

He breathes out. Letting his knuckles brush down your cheeks as he leans forward to rest his forehead against yours. 

He’d just have to think about how he could get over you tomorrow. 

[fuck-customers]

funniest thing happened.

So i work at food service job and sometimes the big guy who owns the group of restaurants(franchise?) of one i work at comes in and helps for like an hour maybe once every 2 months.

I was on break and this guy comes into the break room and starts asking me and a coworker about ourselves.

You know i share a small amount im an artist/play video games, things that bring me joy and add to my life in a meaningful way.

And he talks about himself in turn (im guessing hes a trump voter at this point) and he apparently has a computer sitting at home mining bit coin for like a dollar a day and plays cod or whatever it is on that same computer hes been running into the ground for bitcoin and asked me if i did ai art afterwards.

I had to explain to him that first off ai art steals from artists and that i work on my art actually like an actual artist and how bad ai art is for the environment and he just nods his head like he doesnt get it.

To me this guy that makes money off of my labor and who sits around most of the time not really doing anything is kinda empty.

The funny thing is...i dont make alot of money..but i have something far more precious it seems...(money is still important there is nuance here)

The point is the people who gain off of our labor are empty inside and are just so disconnected from everything and it sucks to be them..

Anyway eat the rich.

Posted by admin Rodney