#block and move on - thats the best way to deal with this sort of thing

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Hi, I hope you don't mind this message, and idk if anyone else has told you, but there's this troll going around on Tumblr named @/freethepuppet. They claim to be “fighting for justice in the puppet industry”, but really they're just sending hateful and threatening messages to Welcome Home and My Friendly Neighborhood artists/fans.

I myself have receive multiple death threats from this person, and they have sent threats to many of my friends over the matter, some of which are minors.

Because of this issue, I have decided to keep myself and my friends anonymous, especially considering the fact that @/freethepuppet intends to send threats to PartyCoffin himself, along with the creator behind My Friendly Neighborhood.

I just wanted to warn you about this person, so that you can block and report them, as well has tell others in the community about the troll. If you decide to ignore this, then that's fair and I respect your decision.

In any case, I hope you and your friends stay safe. Best of luck!!

blocked! thanks for letting me know! to add on to this, a little advice for everyone:

Don't Engage With This Person At All!

Don't Look At Their Stuff, Don't Respond To Messages, Don't @ Them Or Give Them The Time Of Day. Just Go Block Them And Let Them Exhaust Their Own Hate

[ramzawrites]

can i request an angsty sbi fic where sibling reader lost two lives saving others (maybe tubbo at the festival?) and they see everything falling apart (techno and phil destroying everything, wilbur dead and tommy focused on the disks) and they pretend to be ok while their mental health gets worse and worse until they decide to end it, and people only realise they weren't okay after the death message pops up and their reactions to seeing it? if not thats completely fine, ik its pretty heavy

Broken

GN

Pairings: none

Characters included: Wilbur, Tommy, Philza, Tubbo, Technoblade

Warnings: depression, suicide (falling, non descriptive), angst

Series: a request!

Summary: Y/N just wanted their home back. They just wanted to live a peaceful life but instead all their hopes and dreams got ripped apart by the people they loved the most.

Words count: 3647

Authors Note: Honestly I could have shortened it quite a bit but here we are, it’s way longer than I wanted but I hope you guys enjoy this. I’m sorry if this went kind off of rails to what you might have envisioned. Also I hope that you guys know that you are loved and appreciated. I appreciate you for taking the time to read my stuff :] Here is m favorite video to cheer me up some times, hope it can cheer you up as well!

I’m also curious what your guys thoughts and opinion are on this or my writing in general! Can’t get better without feedback :]

Y/N loved their family.

They were all pretty chaotic but so was Y/N, following their siblings into trouble ignoring any possible consequences.

So when Wilbur proclaimed he would create an independent Nation inside the SMP that was owned by Dream himself, you bet that Y/N was standing right beside him.

When Wilbur would struggle with his tasks or was weighed down by doubts they would swoop right in and do their best to support him. Every time Wilbur would say “I don’t know what I would do without you sometimes.” While Y/N didn’t do it for praise but out of love for him it was still nice knowing that he appreciated them and that he took note of their work.

Tommy wasn’t really for heartfelt words but he too expressed in his own way how much he appreciated them being around. Most of his schemes wouldn’t have even happened without Y/N’s help after all. As a way to say thanks he would let them just take stuff fout his chets or when he heard they needed a specific resource he would wander out and get it for them. Of course saying something on the lines of “I was out there anyhow, so I brought some with me. It was on the way.” Y/N could read between the lines though. They grew up with him after all.

Y/N put so much energy into L’Manberg they couldn’t help but be in love with this little nation. They would do everything to protect their home.

When Y/N lost their first life it was together with their siblings protecting their nephew Fundy.

The Dream Team suddenly retreated after another battle against L’Manberg. While the group was celebrating what they thought was their first victory in ages, Eret appeared. She told the group of a small bunker with more resources.

Still celebrating Wilbur, Y/N, Tommy, Tubbo and Fundy made their way towards the bunker. The bunker that would later go down into history as “The Final Control Room.”

Inside they all looked at the labeled chests only to notice that they were empty. Eret then pressed a button which opened up secret walls with the Dream Team standing behind. She herself got into safety as Dream and his friends merciless attacked the L’Manberg faction.

As soon as Y/N understood what was happening they did their best to form a wall between the attackers and Fundy. Slowly pushing him out of the room while they made sure to block the exit, giving the Fox Hybrid enough time to run away.

When they woke up again it was inside their home. In L’Manberg. Sore from the respawning.

Once they did respawn though it didn’t take long for Fundy to barge into their room and throw himself against them, thanking them. Wilbur was close by, looking worse for wear as well but incredible thankful nonetheless.

After that and a few battles more Tommy challenged Dream to a duel in order to secure independence. He lost so instead he bartered his music discs for freedom.

After Tommy respawned a second time Y/N made sure to spent most of their time hovering around him. Making sure he was doing alright.

But with that L’Manberg was independent and it was Y/N’s time to shine. Sure, they worked hard on strengthening the infrastructure of the nation but now, maybe even because of that, they basically coordinated all the new builds.

Shops, homes and other things were being build with them overseeing it. Meanwhile Wilbur and Tommy took care of the political part only to come to the conclusion that they had to have a proper election.

At first it started innocently enough as well. New political parties were made that begun advertising themselves. Funny enough they would always come to Y/N asking them where they could hang up their posters. It was then that Y/N realized that the people saw them as some sort of authority, even asking them if they wanted to start their own campaign. They politely declined, saying they worked best as a support role.

Then Schlatt entered the stage and everything got thrown upside down.

In the end he managed to become the next president via a coalition and his first declaration as the president, or emperor as he called himself, was to exile Tommy and Wilbur.

As they ran for their life Y/N didn’t hesitate to follow. It hurt them so much to leave L’Manberg, their fruit and labor, behind. This only got worse once they realized that Tubbo was basically left alone back at the city under Schlatt’s rule.

Then Pogtopia got established.

Tommy, Wilbur and Y/N did their best to get a proper foothold again. Gathering resources and planning for ways to get their home back. And to accomplish this they soon called in the oldest sibling of the group, Technoblade.

Techno has been away for the longest time now. He moved out early to travel the world and apparently train himself. Somehow Tommy found a way to get a message to him, so he made his way towards Pogtopia.

He wasn’t big on words or emotions but as soon as he arrived he let Y/N hug him.

“This is a onetime deal, Y/N.”

With Techno they finally felt like they had a chance. Y/N could maybe return home someday. Back when they were children Techno always looked out for them so to have him back Y/N felt infinitely safer.

All the while Wilbur showed more and more signs that his mental health was rapidly declining. Y/N did their best trying to cheer him up but there was only so much they could do. Especially since they themself were struggling.

L’Manberg was their everything and now it was under the iron rule of Schlatt. They had to watch as Schlatt walked through the nation, ripping apart builds that they commissioned or even built themself. Every time he did something like that it felt like another stab wound directly into their heart.

Then the festival happened where Y/N lost their second life protecting Tubbo.

Schlatt wanted to apparently celebrate democracy and his amazing rule. Tommy and Wilbur weren’t allowed to join while Techno and Y/N received an invitation.

Y/N was very wary of that. They learned from Tubbo that Schlatt apparently was pretty interested in bringing them over to Manberg since a lot of the residents trusted them and saw them more as an authority than Schlatt himself, so bringing them over would probably also bring a lot of the residents around to his rule.

On the day of the festival Y/N made sure to stay close to Techno. Holding on to his arm and basically hiding behind him, not feeling up to talk with all the people in Manberg.

The people were happy to see them but Y/N was tired. They haven’t slept properly ever since the exile, too many thoughts that kept them awake.

Then the speeches started.

Honestly Y/N wasn’t really listening, their attention purely on a broken old building. It used to be the place where Y/N and the other residents would meet up and map out their plans for new builds. Discussing and even sometimes arguing on what materials should be used and where to get them. Now it was empty.

Their attention got pulled back towards what was actually happening once Tubbo begun speaking. It was a nice little speech Y/N had to admit.

Just as Tubbo was about to leave, Schlatt moved back in. Holding him in place and pushing him in something that Y/N had to describe as a cage with the help of Quackity.

“Techno, buddy. Come up here for a sec.”

Technoblade tensed up but still moved towards the stage. There Schlatt uttered the words that pulled the rug out from beneath Y/N once again.

“Kill him Techno. He is a traitor.”

“Don’t you dare!” Y/N yelled out, making their way towards the stage as well.

Y/N knew Techno couldn’t deal well with social pressure, especially when there were about ten people or more behind him that could attack him at any point.

Tubbo looked so scared as he pressed himself against the wall. There was no escape for him.

When Techno moved his crossbow up, aiming directly at Tubbo, Y/N let out another scream. Urging him to stop.

Explosions. Colorful explosions filled the place.

“Y/N!” it was Tubbo screaming their name out.

Just as Techno pressed the trigger Y/N managed to jump in front, the rockets hitting them instead of Tubbo.

Their older brother looked absolutely mortified “Y/N? Wha- What? Why? How?” staring at Y/N’s lifeless body that slowly dissolved. They were slowly respawning but seeing his siblings body was enough to send him in some sort of frenzy.

Filled with bloodlust he aimed his crossbow towards Schlatt and Quackity. Killing them with one press of the trigger only to turn around and aim his crossbow towards the people.

As this happened Tommy enderpearled over, screaming at Techno.

He helped Tubbo out of the cage who was still in a state of shock. He only saw Y/N for a second and the next they were laying on the ground in their own blood.

Y/N heard the details later after they respawned. Tommy had apparently been incredibly angry at Techno, even attacking him. Wilbur then offered that the two deal with their argument via a fistfight inside a pit.

Normally Y/N would have yelled at Wilbur for that. Would have told him that this was his dumbest idea yet but they were too shook from what had happened to them.

Technoblade always spelled safety to them but he killed them. Sure, he meant to kill Tubbo but that didn’t really make it any better. They gave him an out, they would have helped fighting off all these people so they could flee.

The next time they saw Techno they flinched every time he got too close to them and yet they still put on a smile “Never, do this again.”

Techno only nodded.

After this downward slope the momentum didn’t seem to stop for them. Wilbur dropped even more and more off. Falling victim to his paranoia. Y/N tried their best convincing him to not blow up Manberg, that they will fight to gain it back. At this point trying to gain back their L’Manberg was the only thing they could hold on to.

Though all that work was for nothing.

The war to take back L’Manberg went way differently than they all had imagined. Y/N fought with a viciousness most didn’t think they had it in them. This was the day for them to finally regain what they had wished for, for the longest time now.

Everything came to a halt once Dream surrendered. He showed them Schlatt who was sitting in the Carmavan. Drunk off his mind he yelled and screamed at people only to die of a heart attack which meant that the Pogtopia faction won.

The people begun cheering, they had their home back! They were free! Y/N was probably the loudest by far. It felt like a huge weight was lifted from their shoulders. All this hardship and they could finally return to working with the others and rebuild L’Manberg. Return it to its former glory.

Tubbo got appointed President and Y/N was happy with it. Tubbo had an eye for building and was a good person, with him they were sure they could do some amazing things.

Apparently Techno thought otherwise. Instead he pulled Soulsand out, holding onto the Wither skulls as a visible threat.

Y/N had somewhat forgiven Techno for what had happened. It was a stressful situation and they acknowledged it but seeing him there, threatening to kill all of them? That they knew they couldn’t forgive quite so easy. Especially since he made some sound points but it was their L’Manberg. The people didn’t like living under Schlatt’s rule, this wasn’t something that could be described simply as a coup. Technically he was right but only technically. There were so many things that came into play that could let you argue over that but Techno would have none of it. Yelling something about Tommy only wanting to be a hero.

When the first explosions rang Y/N thought it came from a Wither but Techno was still in the middle of putting the heads onto the structure.

When more explosions rang and the ground beneath their feet broke away, Y/N understood what had happened.

At some point Wilbur ran off and must have pressed the button. The button that set the TNT beneath the city ablaze, effectively destroying everything.

Y/N was too busy with finding hard ground again and then dealing with the Withers and Techno that they only noticed after the fighting ended, how broken the nation was now.

They had won. Why would Wilbur do this? He knew how much the nation meant to them and again, they had won, so there was no reason for blowing the place up!

And if that wasn’t enough to see how both their older brothers destroyed everything Y/N worked for, they also had to see how Philza, their father, stood next to the corpse of Wilbur. It felt like they lost everything.

They lost their trust in Technoblade.

They lost their hopes and dreams via Wilbur blowing up the freshly liberated L’Manberg.

They lost their trust in their own father who had slain his own son.

Y/N felt absolutely crushed. Family was so important to them and it was their own family that destroyed their hopes and dreams. They did everything for them and this is how they repaid them?

Once everything calmed down and Tubbo begun making plans on how to rebuild the nation, he immediately came to Y/N for help but they hesitated which worried him.

“Is everything okay? Usually you would have jumped on that offer, Y/N.”

Y/N put on a smile that didn’t seem to reach their eyes “Don’t worry Tubbo, of course I’ll help you. I’m just tired from what we have been through. I finally have time to take a breather and I think it all just crashed down on me.”

“Well if you ever need help you can talk to me.” It was an earnest offer that Y/N would never take advantage of.

Y/N mostly ignored Philza. He talked with them a few times and even explained what has happened but Y/N still made a wide berth around him. Seeing him just hammered back down the feeling of distrust and hurt. Their familial relationship took a hard hit from that point on.

With Ghostbur it was a weird situation as well. They enjoyed spending time with him but were also always incredibly sad around him. Ghostbur took notice of this and would always offer them to take some of his blue but Y/N declined every time.

“Don’t worry Ghostbur. Everything is still just fresh in my mind. I’ll be back to my old self in no time. You take care of yourself, you hear?”

“Of course Y/N! You have always looked out for me, thank you.”

L’Manberg slowly took on a proper form again but it wasn’t the L’Manberg Y/N knew. It felt to them like they were standing on top of a grave. A grave for their dreams and it was getting hard, real hard, to walk through it every day seeing places where they know specific buildings should be standing. Buildings they build on their own only to be destroyed by their brothers doing.

Then Tubbo exiled Tommy and Y/N felt conflicted. They felt obligated to stay in L’Manberg since they were the main person people came to for builds but that was their brother. Their only brother they still trusted and felt a need to protect.

Instead of following him into exile they stayed in the city. Visiting Tommy whenever they could, noticing pretty fast that he was struggling hard with his situation and for once they didn’t feel strong enough to properly support him. Y/N tried their best but once they noticed they couldn’t reach him completely they gave up a tiny bit.

It reminded them too much of Wilbur.

So while they visited him and helped them where they could, they spent more and more time alone in their home only coming out for work and other necessary things like food. Soon it was normal to see them with ever present dark circles beneath their eyes.

Before Philza disappeared to join Techno, he would stop by Y/N’s home all the time.

“Have you eaten, yet?”

“Yes, dad. I’m an adult. I can take care of myself.”

“I just haven’t seen you much lately and I got worried.”

“Don’t worry. I’m fine. Hey, if you go out, please, can you tell Ghostbur to stop coming around to throw Blue inside my mailbox? He won’t listen to me but perhaps he will to you.” And they would always carry the same big smile on their face accompanied by empty eyes.

The only time their happiness reached their eyes again was when Tommy returned from his exile. They crashed into their younger sibling holding him close to them and muttering apologies. He pried them off, embarrassed by all of this.

This short bout of happiness was destroyed by Doomsday. Dream, Technoblade and Philza once again made sure to set L’Manberg ablaze.

The second time Y/N’s fruits and labor got completely annihilated by their family but still they had some hopes this time. They still had Tommy on their side they could just finally build a home somewhere else and live in peace but Tommy had other ideas. He had it in his mind to get his discs back and he would do anything for it.

So while Y/N tried to ground themself with new hopes and ideas, holding onto the only constant of what was important to them, that being Tommy, Tommy ignored them. He was too busy with his own things and the worst part was that Y/N couldn’t even fault him for it.

They understood how much these discs meant to him and that this was something that had to come to an end but with this they lost another, and possibly their last, anchor point.

Yet you could still see them running around with a smile, tending to every one and trying to help out the best they could.

Then suddenly they were gone. They just disappeared one day. The few people who took note of that took some time to look around but there was no sign as to where they left. Y/N didn’t take their armor with them nor any weapons or food.

< Y/N succumbed to despair and fell of a high place>

When every ones communicators rung out with this message the SMP fell quiet.

Tommy couldn’t believe what he was reading. This didn’t make any sense. Y/N was fine! They would talk with them and everything looked fine! This must have been a cruel joke from Dream somehow, right? This couldn’t be real. Why would Dream do this? This didn’t seem to make sense.

Exactly there was no sense in Dream doing this.

While Tommy was battling with his thoughts Tubbo came running over to him. Tears streamed down his face.

“What happened? Why did this happen? Where are they?”

Tommy was visibly shaking “I- I have no idea. I don’t know. They looked fine. I’m- I’m not sure. Tubbo-“

Tubbo just slammed into him, giving him a proper hug, trying his best to help Tommy through his rising panic. He lost another sibling and by Ender that hurt.

Meanwhile in the snowy Tundra both Philza and Techno were staring at their communicators as well.

Philza was pale. So pale it almost rivaled the snow around him.

Techno had his brows furrowed. For anyone who didn’t know him well enough he looked at best displeased with this situation but Philza could see the small details that told a different story. Him sucking his breath in as he read the message, hiding his quivering lip in his cloak. He was heartbroken.

Sure the two weren’t on good speaking terms but Y/N was still his younger sibling. He still loved them.

Philza felt similar. He acknowledged that he screwed up and honored their wish to be left alone by him but he never imagined this could lead to their death. His knees buckled and he sank to the ground. Two of his children died, one directly by his hand and the other due to his inaction.

His eyes glossed over, the world became a blur and yet he continued rereading this message over and over. Y/N just lost their last life.

Philza could hear Techno walk closer to him and sat down on the ground as well.

“Y/N is-“ Philza begun but he didn’t know what he wanted to say. State the obvious to his eldest son?

“I have more fault in this than you, dad. Don’t feel guilty.” His voice was uncharacteristically weak. Wavering as he spoke. He wanted to cheer Philza up but it was a weak attempt.

“What have we done.”

Ghostbur was at first confused when he read the message. It was like he couldn’t connect the dots but it slowly dawned on him what this meant.

“Oh my.” His usual happy demeanor was suddenly gone.

He touched his face and as he put his hands back down he saw how they were smeared with blue.

“Y/N is dead?”

His usual ghost behavior seemed to break a bit. It was like through the warped version of Wilbur that was called Ghostbur for a moment the true version of him came through again. And he was hurt. Devastated.

“I think I need to find the others.” He mumbled to himself, making his way towards his family. All the while he held onto the blue wool of Friend like a lifeline. Combing through it nervously. Blue continuing to spill from his eyes.

[burnedbyshoto]

i think i’ve figured out a reason why anime culture exhausts me.

i’ve always tried my best to curate what I see on my dash both here and on twitter. it’s much easier on tumblr, I believe, for me to block things out because on tumblr... there are just such high numbers of shippers and self shippers that I don’t have to deal with what actually exhausts me.

ship wars are dumb, and are for the most part irksome and tiring, but I feel like ship wars to me is like a family fight. it’s you and a sister or a cousin fighting over whether you should get sushi or mexican food. of course they’re two different types of foods. there’s nothing really lining them together, but at the end of the day you move on and forget because thats family. ships wars are irritating because we don’t have a way, but at least we have the common ground of loving the same series.

what exhausts me, grinds my nerves into ash, and makes me irrationally angry is when people pit series against series. I don’t see it here on tumblr, namely because I simply do not scroll on here anymore. but I know the people I follow, I know what they like, and more important what they care about and only see what they post or reblog. to the self insert part of tumblr it doesn’t matter what series is better, or what series is their favorite, they just want to fuck whoever they find arbitrarily attractive — physically or characteristically. I can deal with that. I can deal with seeing shit from fandoms that I have no part of. I don’t care to read hq, i’m putting off watching jjk until the entire first season is finished because I just want to binge it (i am very far into the manga tho), i’ve read and finished chainsaw man and loved it, i thought kny was such a simple but fascinating story, hxh sort of bored me, aot is not a series that I particularly find written or scripted in a way where I thirst after characters. i’ve read and am reading dozens more small name manga because manga, big or small, are all riveting and rich even if they’re not common names & I think it’s great to discover new mangaka!

but on twitter where it’s really, really difficult for me to curate my likes still simply because as soon as things pass 10.0k likes, it seems to show up on your timeline, and I lose my mind. what the fuck is up with people pitting series against series. using things as illogical as numbers and series to broadcast as to why things are more better. I am constantly annoyed by bitches who scream bnha is far less superior than aot and jjk across my timeline as if I care what some ugly ass white boy from minnesota thinks & continue to say with their full chest that midoriya izuku is a whining crybaby as if he’s ever truly been that. why is liking a particular anime make you superior? it’s called having an opinion & just because I don’t agree with you when I say bnha is the best manga i’ve ever read doesn’t mean I should be getting attacked. I know bnha isn’t perfect, there are obvious gleaming issues in horikoshis writings — and they’re apparent in every other mangaka’s writing too.

perfection doesn’t exist or else there would be no problems in the world, no? so it just makes me see red when people who are no longer caught up with bnha and have chose to stop watching and reading it past season 1 episode 3 (chapters 1-3 in the manga) acting like another series is better because of shit that legit has no effect on the actual quality of the storytelling.

it is my opinion to say that bnha is the best manga. it is my opinion to say that horikoshi has the best art style in the entire shonen jump magazine. it is my opinion to say that hori has amazing static scenes but lacks in movement fluidity still. it is my opinion to say that hori has created some of the most human characters in his works with his most controversial characters (ie bakugou & endeavor). it is my opinion to say hori can definitely choose to develop his female characters better but is clearly more interested in his male ones and that’s just something i’ve now accepted. I am okay with other people agreeing and disagreeing with any of that because this is the type of shit where differing opinions is okay. but it grinds disgustingly on my nerves when people who are in no way, shape or form a fan of bnha shit on it because why are you even here? get out.

I didn’t allow myself to like anime and manga until a few years ago, but holy shit, if this is how yall acted when we were in middle school and high school, no wonder why people were bullied. some of y’all are fucking nasty for no damn reason. let people be fucking happy with whatever the fuck they enjoy and go fucking be obsessed with what you like and not what others like tf is wrong with you????

[qingxintea]

➼ chongyun || hiraeth

tw: mention of knives (no violence), kidnapping, explosion _______

you angled your camera to catch your face and upper body correctly and adjusted your blinds for the correct lighting. you put thin pieces of yellow and pink paper over your lamp to give off a sunset lighting sort of aesthetic in your minimalist room. your tiny cacao tree sat in the corner of your room, setting some sort of simple beach vibe.

then, you began to stream.

you watched as majority of your followers came to view as you sat in your rolly gaming chair. the greetings came rushing in and you noticed two of your friends had came along too, xingqiu and chongyun.

"hey gang, it's kingexplosionmurder here with your weekly sunday stream," you smiled and watched as comments came in asking you to notice them. beginning to select randomly, you flicked a short strand of hair behind your ear. "you have been noticed, yourlocalsugardaddy," you blessed them. and you swore you chose randomly.

on the other side of the screen, chongyun's face slightly flushed before eating his popsicle again. yes, that was his username, selected by xingqiu after the guhua heir was somehow able to trick him into selecting so. the situation must've been that he accidentally consumed some jueyun chili's, that was also xingqiu's doing.

he watched you smile as you explained your schedule for this stream, when he noticed you suddenly began laughing. it sounded genuine, he wanted to believe it was genuine, but there was a trace of disappointment in it. he observed your face, noticing you were looking at the chat box. "i agree too, scarymoose."

scarymoose: this streamer's kinda dog shit ngl 😐

by instinct, his fingers grazed over the keyboard as he analyzed the tone. this kid wasn't joking around with himself, he was really out to bring you down. he exhaled, shaking his head, wondering how you would deal in the situation.

yourlocalsugardaddy: miss karen this isn't yelp 🙄

he wasn't content with that yet, things could've gone onto more serious matters, but he knew you liked to keep your chat clean and peaceful. you went to the farther extents to keep that from happening, agreeing with rude comments yourself as a said joke, but actually have it sometimes harming you.

so chongyun tried his best to keep you happy.

redrumreaper: yo moose chill 😳

he recognized his friend xingqiu also trying to calm the situation as you just laughed it off and attempted to continue, sooner enough just beginning to ignore all his comments. some other viewers came up to your defense but in all honesty, you wanted to move on.

"s-so, i found some silk flowers outside of wangshuu inn yesterday, aren't they pretty?" you took a tiny bouquet of the said silk flowers and presented it to your viewers, holding it next to your cheek. the pink tone of the flowers matched the color of your cheeks and made for a nice picture. chongyun would've screenshotted it, but he respected your privacy.

yourlocaldumba$$: yes they're so pretty we love you 😍

13lue13erry: yes ong ong 💕 thiccer than my granny

Straw13erry: don't bring madame ping into this 💀💀

colino: are you sure it's alright to take from someone's legally owned property ?? much less from their garden

Straw13erry: u mean ur neighbors don't harvest ur flowers every day? 🙄 privilege spoke 🤚

yourlocalsugardaddy: vv pretty 😳

redrumreaper: simp 💀

you slightly choked over on your side and xingqiu calling chongyun a simp, for you. quickly clearing your throat, you regained your composure. your viewers could see that your cheeks had been dusted with a darker shade now.

13lue13erry: 👀

Straw13erry: 👀

yourlocaldumba$$: 👀

redrumreaper: 👀

sireluck: 💀

bazinga: 👀

dandelionn: 👀

poetichoe: 👀

"okay- anyways," you pushed that aside, watching the chain of 👀's coming in. you weren't too sure at what they were referring to, but just assumed that they were interested in xingqiu exposing chongyun. but, there was no way chongyun really felt like that, right? it was just a friendly compliment from what you believed. "just a tiny flex but y'all guys, i am so cracked at apex, not gonna lie. for all the new followers out there," you randomly commented. 'and to change the subject.'

"actually, you know what? fuck the schedule, let's go to trolling little eight year old kids posting selfies on instagram. due to certain reasons i'm just not gonna be blurring their usernames out, but please don't spam these people, i don't wanna be cancelled 💗" you sweetly smiled as you pulled up instagram and started streaming on your phone.

of course your sus notifications ruined it 🤡🤡

because xingqiu took advantage of the situation, sending messages to your discord. nothing mentioning your romantic life because he knew better than that, but just trolling. 'HEY GANG. ITS ME, TONY, AND TODAY WE'RE GONNA SEE IF IM FASTER THAN THIS MOUSE TRAP.' 'TURNS OUT, I AM NOT FASTER THAN THIS MOUSE TRAP.' 'AN UPDATE, IT HURTS. ALRIGHT. BYE GUYS.' you tried hard to contain your laughter, but certain giggles came out in the end, giggles that made chongyun's heart flutter.

xingqiu just kept spamming without a stop, to the point that you accidentally clicked into the notification instead of someone's username on a selfie post. so now everyone could see your group chat with xingqiu, chongyun, and a few other viewers that were actually your other friends.

13lue13erry: oh no 🤡

Straw13erry: 🗿

yourlocaldumba$$: HAHAHAHA WE'RE EXPOSED 🤡👌

just water support boy 😔: image.png

oh my god he's sending chongyun catboy edits. you made this concerning noise, glad no one really seemed to know who chongyun really was on twitch. you went back to instagram, beginning to dm a random kid, ignoring the situation that had just happened.

chongyun choked, slight heat running to his cheeks. what the fuck was xingqiu doing- how did he even get those pictures? maybe it was that one time xingqiu forced him to go to a furry con, but how did he ever get the time to photograph these? he nervously fidgeted and played with his fingers.

13lue13erry: 🤡

Straw13erry: 🤡

yourlocaldumba$$: 🤡

redrumreaper: 🤡

<— oraoraoraor

kingexplosionmurder: chav check

oraoraoraor: what

kingexplosionmurder: chav: check 😹😹

oraoraoraor: bruh

oraoraoraor: who tf are you

kingexplosionmurder: hope you like baddies cause i'm bad at everything 💗

oraoraoraor: bruh ok i'm blocking

kingexplosionmurder: stop dming me

oraoraoraor: 😐

kingexplosionmurder: stop dming me

oraoraoraor: wtf

kingexplosionmurder: stop dming me

oraoraoraor: wait wait UR that one twitch streamer?

kingexplosionmurder: stop dming me

oraoraoraor: ig ur fans gonna be so disappointed in you

kingexplosionmurder: stop dming me

oraoraoraor: hahaha wtf i'm gonna post this and tag you

kingexplosionmurder: stop dming me

afterwards you sent a barrage of really cursed images and left the person on read when they tried to complain and get a reaction out of you. you chuckled, extremely satisfied with yourself. this is what your viewers followed you for. you went on hunting for another user, "GO Y/N GO" filling up your chat.

you were just about to dm this other kid until you heard a ring from your doorbell. "oh what the fuck, i didn't invite anyone. but you know what, i'll pull something up to entertain y'all guys while i'm afk." searching on youtube, you typed in 'banana fish ep. 1' and clicked on the longest video you saw. then you got up from your chair, making your way to the front door.

you didn't mute yourself before because you thought there was really no need to, and you underestimated your mic sensitivity. god did you wish that you could go back and time and do just that.

twisting the doorknob, you opened your door and was met with... a certain, someone.

someone that you recognized and has caused you so much pain, and it was all so fun and games before they had to come along. "bruh. aight what you here for fam?" you played it super chill, though you were really sick and tired of this person's shit.

"(y/n). we need to talk," her stern voice made you flinch as you just stared straight into her eyes. you simply nodded your head and crossed your arms, shifting your weight onto your right leg. "we're thinking of taking you back home."

your froze, your breath hitching as you just stood there, waiting for her to go on. clenching your fists and looking down, you stayed silent for a little moment and questioned, "...why?"

"well, you have a stable income source, right?" she asked, putting her hands on her hips. "you can finally be of use to us," she clasped her hands together, a bright smile on her face. your finger twitched, awaiting an explanation. "you're a streamer, yeah? so you can be a useful asset to our family name."

"...you only want me to come back so i can make you all seem... good?"

and here you thought, just for a second, that you would be accepted back into the place where you really belonged. your shoulders slumped, as small tears began to well up in your eyes. "and for our profitable gain of course, it would be a shame to not acquire that from you."

you composed yourself and looked up. "im afraid my profit can only cover for one person, and it would be myself that i focus to make a suitable and independent living out of. you've kicked me out ever since i've graduated from college and had me fend for myself, now inviting me back once i have a stable job?" you breathed, fiddling with the sleeves of your black hoodie.

"oh, not inviting, dear. taking."

confused by her words, you let your guard down as she suddenly pushed a warm cloth over your mouth as you let out a constrained scream. you tried to break free of her grasp, reaching for the switchblade in your pocket, but the drowsing chemicals from the cloth took control of you and you felt disoriented. "you... bitch..."

your head hit the floor.

》●✿ time ● skip ✿●

silence.

thats all you heard when you awoke.

pure, unfiltered silence that overwhelmed you as you were completely lost. what was happening?

you tried turning to the other side of your childhood bed, the moon casting light shadows into your 'room'. there was a rope around your wrists you noticed, so you brought them up to your lips and starting gnawing on them until it broke apart. (guys we feral its not a furry instinct ok?/ ??  ?)

the material had irritated your skin, but you put that aside for now. escape- thats what you really needed to do. it was fairly dark, but you didn't have a good estimate of time. the analog clock was broken and set to a different time that displayed 11AM. you sat up, your fingers running along the frame of the window next to you.

for a moment, you stopped, thoughts rushing into your head. what if you could start a whole other life here where things could finally be peaceful, what if you didn't have to feel so isolated anymore, what if you could- ...

no. (y/n), get yourself together. what has happened will anyways stay there, and there is no healing scars. ...still, you couldn't shake off the feeling of missing this home so much when you had an amazing childhood, though full of fake actors who had manipulated you.

opening all the cabinets silently, you grabbed things that you assumed would come to your aid. a tiny backpack, which you then stuffed with other things around it. a first aid kit, a spare knife just in case, along with a clean oversized sweater and a couple dollar bills. all that, along with a compass.

you turned towards your window, stepping on your bed.

pushing open the sides of your window, your stepped on, the brown coldness of the frame coming in contact with your feet. you shivered just a little bit before stopping to think. what would you do once you were out of here? you barely knew your way here. and not to mention, your devices were still left at your other house, so there was no way of contact.

...

did your stream ever end? even if it did, had you muted yourself before leaving? no, you didn't, and you could remember in precise detail. someone out there, anyone, would be willing to help, right? you couldn't possibly be here forever, not when you're basically blown up all over your socials?

your friends, yes, your friends! xingqiu and chongyun were watching the stream and had made obvious interaction in doing so, and they'd be willing to protect you. if they just had a lead...

but... what lead was there? all they heard was the woman's voice and, that was probably it, wasn't it? only a voice with no other clear features that could identify her. it looked like you were doing this on your own.

you came in contact with the blades of grass tickling your feet and conveniently found a pair of sneakers outside. it definitely wasn't yours, and it smelled like the scent of your old room. most likely, it belonged to someone from inside your house, lavender and mint, but who inside there was in the age range to wear modern day sneakers..?

brushing that question aside, you unhesitatingly laced them on and they were just a bit too big, but you could manage.

you breathed, inhaling the freedom intertwined air, a much needed factor of bringing you back to your lost sense of happiness. then, the fear struck you once again, because you needed to improvise now. you needed to run, but which direction? you barely knew this place at all.

you dug around your pocket for the compass you had and it was pointing east. you remember that stepping out of your house was facing west, so you were going the right way... but who knows how messy the path was? it couldn't have been an exact pathway, but going directly ahead was your simplest option.

you heard a pair of footsteps coming from inside the house, probably a few seconds away to opening the door. you sucked in your breath and ran, ran as far as your legs could take you. your intimidating speed and played into your advantage, and taking one last look, you saw the lights on, before continuing.

a few minutes into it, you felt some elemental energy. it was a sense you learned to develop since you were young, giving you the upper hand in a variety of situations. you followed the trail of glowing lines, the air starting to get colder and colder. you shuddered, the crisp coldness nipping at your skin.

you sat below a tree, taking your backpack off your shoulder and took out the oversized sweater. you put it on over your black tee and light blue skinny jeans, its nostalgic aroma filling your sense of smell.

it was... warm.

it shouldn't be warm.

the warmth proved as a sign that someone had worn it before, but this size was from what you knew, too small to fit the woman you came across again, and you absolutely did not recall any other beings within the house. it was a small household.

suddenly, you remembered what she said.

we're thinking of taking you back home. you can finally be of use to us.

plural. you should've noticed it before and you shook your head, slightly disappointed in yourself. you didn't remember any other birth siblings. could it be the fact that during the time, they had, in a way, replaced you?

you sat up, then suddenly went drowsy. your eyelids were getting heavy as your back hit the same tree. ah, that clever bitch. you chuckled to yourself, but still unsatisfied how this was gonna end. reaching inside your pocket, you grabbed a bomb that a little kid gave you, and threw it as far as you could. it wasn't as far as you hoped, but it was exceptionally far considered your sleepy state.

in a few couple seconds or so, it was going to explode. you did that to divert the attention of her and slowly ran as far as you could. a few seconds in, you gave in, hoping that your efforts were enough. 》●✿ perspective ● shift ✿●

chongyun heard an explosion.

he raised his head in the direction smoke was coming from, and made a run for it, then stopping to think. no, you're smarter than this. he gathered his shit together and remembered that one day klee gave you a bomb. he deducted that you had used it as a diversion, and began to search around the area.

and finally, he came across your sleeping body. to ensure your living state, he crouched down and let two fingers travel across your neck, searching for a pulse, and was relieved when he found one, pulsing at a normal rate.

he then carried you on his back, picking up the pace since he deducted someone was out for you, would you need a distraction. he remembered some details of the woman, she had ended your stream with your sleeping form in her hands, a dirty smirk coming across her lips. she had dark hair with some natural highlights, but that was all he saw because the rest was concealed by a cloak.

a few minutes, maybe half an hour later, you began to stir. chongyun decided that he ventured far enough to liyue and slowed down for your comfort. he wanted you to get some well deserved rest. but slowly, you woke up, but only the tiniest movement was made. your eyes were still droopy and you wanted to return to sleep.

but the sight of pastel blue hair kept you from doing so.

you felt the familiar silk coming in contact with your arms as he kept on trudging forward at a more consistent and smooth pace. "..chongyun?" you muttered out weakly, earning a small smile from the male. he hummed in response, continuing forward.

your mind was cloudy, unable to interpret the language of the world. but softly, words effortlessly escaped your lips, "... did i do the right... thing?" blinking multiple times, you awaited his answer.

"yes, yes you did," his soft voice reached your ears, making you smile a bit. you nuzzled deeper into his shoulder, clinging onto him tighter, unwilling to let go.

"thank you," you whispered.

he chuckled a bit before responding, "anything for you."

_____

bro ending is a little off because i'm wrote this at 2:53AM and so my brain has went ⬇️⬇️ also i'm just hungry

copy and pasted from my wattpad,, @ppeachtea_

[ghost-in-the-stalls]

Hhh okay thinking about the twinyards and a magic au I came up with a while back so bulletpoint style not-fic coming at you (tw for character death as a result of domestic abuse and death as a result of drug overdose):

Okay so in this au basically almost anyone (who is human) is capable of learning to use magic

But certain people have much higher/lower affinities for it than other people

And everyone basically has certain areas they are sort of biologically predisposed to

They can learn other forms of magic than their predisposition, but it won't come nearly as naturally and it'll take a lot of work

And suppressing a natural predisposition can be very difficult

So the twinyards

They don't have a HUGE natural affinity for magic, but they don't have a low affinity either. Comfortably average.

Theyre both biologically predisposed defensive magic

Blocking hexes, purifying, warding off bad spirits and energies, etc.

Neither of them were ever given the opportunity to study or hone magic tho

Which isn't necessarily super uncommon in the world

But typically people are given more of a choice than these two were in their respective situations

So their story goes on as it does

EXCEPT things take a turn when Andrew moves in with Aaron and Tilda

That turn being that Tilda takes one of her beatings on aaron too far one night

As in he ends up needing to be rushed to the hospital

And he doesn't make it

This is fairly early on- before the twins made their deal

Doesn't mean andrew doesn't flip his shit

He doesn't even have time to kill Tilda because the following night she overdoses and she doesnt make it either

((Was it an accident or was it on purpose? No one will ever really know))

So Andrew is sent to the Hemmicks, where Nicky then steps in and becomes his guardian

Andrew then immediately starts teaching himself necromancy

And he picks it up comparatively quick!

Hes a naturally fast learner, and that combined with his eidetic memory means that when he dedicates himself to learning something he learns it fast

Doesn't mean he's anywhere near being a master by the time he tries to resurrect aaron

Hes quite underskilled actually

It takes several attempts, each of which are pretty traumatizing for Aarons soul to go through and for Andrew and Nicky to witness (because Nicky may not approve of this at all but he also knows he can't stop andrew. So he'd rather supervise as best he can)

But eventually it works out

Kind of

Aaron comes back to life (with a shitload of new trauma and a lot of beef with andrew- did anyone ask him if he even wanted to be resurrected??? No of course not) and they just start trying to carry on

Then Aaron starts having nightmares

At first thats all they are- vague disturbing dreams with weird symbolism

But then they turn into premonitions

And then they start happening while he's awake

The visions always have to do with death and eventually they start connecting to specific people

During these visions he'll basically dissociate and start screeching in a very inhuman way

So the three of them start looking into it and in their research they learn that he is now a banshee

And that this came about essentially because of Andrew's botched resurrection job

The thing with banshees is that there are very few of them and they don't really have a community the way other supernatural beings typically do

So Aaron doesn't even really get any guidance

As you can imagine, this shitty situation leads to plenty of tension between Aaron and Andrew

Aaron isn't sure he wanted to come back

Hes CERTAIN he didn't want to come back as a banshee

But andrew made that decision for him

(Because he couldn't reconcile his grief and guilt with his new reality without his recently-discovered-now-dead twin brother)

So yeah this is part 1 of idk how many lol I just want to get this au out of my head but I don't actually have a story in mind for it lmao

[screamingatsquirrels]

Lol after the ex best friend saw me in walmart yesterday (i ignored her and we didnt talk at all) she blocked me on everything so now i get to tell yall fully what happened. Now that she wont see it

So on sunday, she and her bf ,who moved in qith us after them dating for only a couple months, were in their room doing crafts as some sort of date. I had my appointment to get my snake bites but there was no lyft or uber drivers out so i texted her and asked if she could take me and drop me off. Or if it was going to be interrupting them, i could reschedule. She insisted on taking me and staying with me. My appointment was supposed to be at 5:30 but the people in front of us took forever so we finally got back their arpund 6:30. As im getting pierced, her bf texts me and says "dont do this again" then calls her and starts cussing her out and shit talking me. Well we get done and go home where they get into an argument while i sit in my room. The walls are so thin i can hear him shit talking me and convincing her im a horrible person for asking for a ride. Thats around 8...around the time i blacked out. Its like i was sitting on my bed listening to all this and i blink then suddenly im in that store trying to buy a gun. I opened my phone and saw the suicide note pulled up. When i realized what was happening, i left the store and sat out front hyperventilating and in a full on panic attack trying to get ahold of her because she was my best friend. I just needed to know that someone cared and i was making the right decision by not going through with it....she never answered me. I finally found a ride to the er where they had to gove me something to calm me down. They tried calling her bc she was my emergency contact bc i trusted her completely (i have an extremely hard time trusting people) but she never answered. So they asked me if id be ok with going to a mental hospital 3 hrs away. I realized i needed serious help so i agreed. When i got there, i finally got ahold of my mom who only got one frantic text from me before i got transferred. She had been trying to reach the ex bsf too to no avail. So i finally sleep and the next day call my mom again to updage her on stuff and ask if she was ever able to get ahold of her...thats when my mom (who is dealing with the fact that she just almost lost a second child to suicide) tells me that the ex bsf made my family come move all my stuff out of our apartment and had made up lies about me saying that i threatened suicide if she didnt talk to me and that i was buying a gun to hurt her and her bf. And that she mentioned getting a restraining order against me.

She also said that if i or anyone in my family tried contacting her shed call the cops. Once i was told this and realized that the one person i fully trusted amd cared about had abandoned me when i needed her the most....i had a full on mental breakdown. I was sitting on ny bed crying and hyperventilating, rocking back and forth. I was in such an intense panic attack that nurses had to come in and sedate me. I hit such a low that i contemplated killing myself when i finally got out because now, i had no friends...she promised shed be there for me no matter what but abandoned me when things got tough.

I slowly got better from that episode and the intense sadness turned into rage and hurt. Because i did nothing to deserve her treatment of me except be mentally ill and go get help. I helped her and her bf out so much. I bought most groceries and offered to pay for an apartment for her bf until he could get on his feet. I supported both of them through their own mental breakdowns. I supported their relationship even tho i was in love with her (was. Those feelings are long gone now) now i just feel like they used me. Like they took advantage of my kindness and only pretended tk care about me. And ditched me when i could no longer be of service to them.

So, Hope (an oronic name if you ask me), you are a shitty person who only really cares about yourself. If you see this, just know that if you ever try contacting me again, you will be the one with the cops called on you. Im done with you. You hurt me in ways i never thought you were capable. I will never forgive you for gaining my trust and betraying me in one of the qorst ways. I deserve so much fucking better than a bitch like you in ny life. I hope karma bites you in the ass.

[byuncock]

Untitled

requested: no

word count: 2,599

edited: naw

—

our relationship is fine. as fine as an arranged couple's marriage should be.

i am currently sitting on the couch mindlessly staring at the television screen. looking at the clock from time to time it was already 10pm and baekhyun was still at work.

sighing at the thought of the food i cooked on the table going cold. i sat there for awhile now. even stopped checking the time since i know he'll be coming home past 12am as usual.

it was 2:14am when i heard the front door's knob jiggled and in came baekhyun. he looked tired. he been looking tired for the past few weeks, i noticed but every time i try to ask all of his answers are "nothing important".

staying silent as i watched him take off his shoes and come in through the living room to go towards the bedroom. not noticing me until he saw the television screen and trailed his eyes to me.

"hey baby, what are you doing up?" he questions tiredly though doing his best to give you a smile.

"couldn't sleep" i replied to him as i watch his face give i a pout as he retreats to the bedroom.

"i'd stay up with you, but work is tiring me out. good night" he yawns.

i hear him taking a shower before getting ready for bed. i stay on the couch though. still not being able to find the sleep ineed despite how tired and drained i've been feeling.

feeling how distant we both have gone. barely any time for each other. whenever we sleep together there is a gap. no longer feeling the warmth i crave.

and worst of it all. he hasnt told me i love you since our last anniversary dinner. which was a month or so ago. this has been going on for a month and i am fed up.

doesnt seem long but when you experience it, it feels like a year.

i dont know how long it had been until i heard noises in the room and out came baekhyun. in his usual work attire.

baekhyun sees me still on the couch and questions, "why didnt you come to bed last night?" why didnt you ask me earlier?

"can't sleep" i vaguely reply. looking over at the clock it was 5am.

he nods in reply and put on his shoes. leaving for work. no good bye kiss. no i love you. not even a single affection of some sorts. thats when i had enough.

planning to visit his work later after i freshen up and ready myself for whatever storm i have to face when talking to him about this.

getting up from the couch i went over to the bedroom and took my time to freshen up.

after putting some food in my system for the day ahead i headed out. the drive to his office was nerve wrecking for some reason.

arriving at the building i walked in. passing by the receptionist you gave her a smile. she instantly stood up and bowed giving you a grin.

walking through the offices there were a bunch of workers around about, not forgetting to greet you though. when you made it to baekhyun's office floor things seems to be eerily quiet.

too quiet and it was almost scary. his door was down the hall. his door was slightly ajar. not knowing if he was in his office or not you take a peek.

he was indeed in his office, but he wasn't alone. he is sitting on top at the front of his desk. arms crossed with his eyebrows furrowed while talking to someone.

i was going to leave and just wait for him to finish conversing with whoever he is with until the person made it's appearance.

she was dangerously close to him to be talking to him about some offer of a deal. she got even closer by caging him in his arms by putting her arms on both sides of him on his desk. their faces inches apart from where their lips can touch.

i was shocked, hurt, angry, every emotion you can get. not knowing what to do or if i should barge in, but my grabbed my phone out of my purse and quickly dialed a number.

before things could get worse between the pair in the room a ringtone broke the tension. though the phone kept ringing the both of them made no signs to move.

baekhyun turned his head to look at the caller id that was calling him. he was staring intently at his phone but not reaching out to pick it up.

i watched him stare at his phone, praying for him to pick up. even when the ring stopped he didnt move a muscle.

the woman grabbed his chin and turned his face over to meet her face again. a sly smirk made its way across her lips. everything turned silent after i hung up the call. not believing he stood your call, but is it shocking since he's been ignoring my calls for a while now?

"so" the lady sultry says, "everything could be over if you accept my offer" she purrs.

confusion flashed across my face. what could be over? what offer? i was confused, so mad, and so hurt i really wanted to burst in and stop them.

i was going to burst in until he leaned in. not wanting to witness what happens after she leans in i left.

walked through the building with tears streaming down my face. not caring if the workers saw.

finally, even though it felt like years, i made it out the building. going over to my car and got in. quickly driving home, away from the building, away from him.

when i made it home i just threw my body on the bed. everything hurts. my heart was literally broken. i am sobbing into my pillow.

thinking about how the past few nights i slept without his embrace. went on with day for the month without his love or affection. and now i knew why.

turning over on the bed to stare up at the ceiling i rose my left hand. staring at the promise ring he gave me a few months ago during our anniversary. now everything just seem like a joke.

i would of spent even more hours wailing then getting ready to leave him until i heard the front door slam. quick steps were approaching and there he was.

"baby" he says breathlessly. as if he ran all the way over here from his workplace. i stared at him for a moment before turning my attention back to the ceiling. the tears threatening to fall again.

i sniffed and thats when i felt the right side of the bed dip. his face coming to view.

"why didnt you tell me you were coming to visit me at work?" he questions softly, staring at you.

"even if i called, you didnt answer" i whisper then stared at him. letting him see how broken you are. how broken he made you.

he was lost for words. so what his coworkers were telling him were right. you were there. then you left. with tears.

"baby, i can explain. what you saw at my work was not wh-" he tries to explain to me, but i cut him off.

"please leave, baekhyun. i don't want to see you right now" i try to stay as calmly as possible. though i was anything but calm.

"baby please let me explain-" he desperately tries again, but i sat up. almost bumping our heads, making him move back slightly. i reached for my left ring finger and as quickly as i can, take it off then threw it outside our bedroom door

i was heaving. now tears have fell and baekhyun looked over at the door where the sound of a ring dropping is made. he looked at my face. with a painful, regretful, and saddened expression.

i didnt dare look at him though as i stare straight ahead waiting for him to leave. when i heard him get up to grab the ring i ran over to our bedroom door and closed it. locking it too.

knocks and yells were made on the other side of the door. i can hear him calling for me, crying in the process of trying to let him in, but i dont.

i cover my ears trying to block his cries as i cried. falling asleep in that position with him as the last thing on my mind.

the sound of the alarm woke me up. i went over to it and slammed the snooze button. checking the time it was 10am. Baekhyun should be out at work now. I thought as i got up.

i opened the door heading out of the bedroom until i stumbled across a body by the door. i was on the floor from tripping over baekhyun. he seem to be stirring awake from my clumsiness and we made eye contact.

i quickly got up on my feet to go back in the room and close the door, but baekhyun quickly grabbed me and wrapped his arms around my body.

i was thrashing in his arms. trying to get him to let go of me since i dont want to be anywhere near him. nonetheless touch by an unfaithful partner.

"let me explain, please" he sounded so broken. his voice was hoarse, probably from crying. but it just made you even angrier.

he held me tighter as long as it takes for me to calm down. when a minutes have passed and i have finally gave up in trying to escape, i let him hug me.

baekhyun takes this chance to explain what happened. clearing his throat, "i dont know when you came in yesterday and what you saw, but i assure you nothing happened" he says carefully.

i was lifeless. basically, he was holding my entire form together before i completely break apart.

sensing my silence he held me a bit tighter burying his head in my hair as he gently pressed kisses around. continuing, "that lady... she is one of my new partners in work. we hired her a few weeks before this whole thing started".

"she tried seducing me, tried countless of ways to get closer to me, but being the smart and loyal man i am i never gave in and i even called her out on it" he pulls away from you to cup your face.

"but that pissed her off.. she- she started messing with my paper works, my deals and partnership, i couldn't do anything, baby." his voice broke as he tried explaining for you to understand.

"i didnt know what to do. i told her i would fire her if she kept this up, but because she is the daughter of one of my most loyal partner...... she told me she would ruin me by telling lies with proof of fake documents i dont even know where she is getting it from" he is sobbing now. though a ton of bricks have finally lifted off his chest he was still scared.

i was still silent. taking in everything he had said, but one question is lingering in my mind that i hope is false.

"you said you never gave in to her foul play, right?" your voice so small baekhyun had to stop breathing just to hear. "then how come i saw the both of you kiss" you looked up at him, tears forming in your eyes at the memory.

"no no baby, she leaned in, but i assure you our lips did not touch. i pushed her away right when she leaned in. i knew she was going to do that, but i was waiting for her to do it so that if she does yell for help i can say that she was trying something on me without my consent." he explains, a bit too quickly for my brain, but i understand. i nod to him, my eyes casting downwards.

"even after all these explanations, i dont understand why you havent been giving me the love and affection i've been yearning for" i sniffed. heart hurting from all the pain. i look down tears wetting his suit.

"i'm so sorry, baby. for that reason... i just... i just couldnt bring myself to touch you, make love to you, or even say the three words because of how dirty things feel. i know i told you i did nothing with her, but i still felt dirty. im so sorry, baby" he is crying. trying his best to speak as he wraps his arms around you again. holding you tight.

understanding now you oat his back to calm him down. though the pain in your heart ceased a bit, it was still there.

"im- im so so- sorry, baby. for a- all the th- things i've put you through" he was hiccuping. the thought of how lonely and sad you mustve felt because of his cold actions towards you.

"let me make it up to you , baby. please i promise to be better . i promise to treat you better not do that ever again. " he says brokenly. cupping your face again as he pecks all over your face, but your lips.

"please, let me make it up for you, please" he desperately says while searching for your eyes.

you think for a moment. about everything he says. all the drama that happened and see how much shit he's been going through. although he should of told you about it he made it worse for himself.

baekhyun took your silence as a bad sign when he leaned his forehead onto yours. closing his eyes as he whispered, "baby, please forgive your shit of a boyfriend and let him treat you right. please" he opens his eyes at the last word to stare at your brown orbs.

"this is your only chance" you say before he swoops in and kisses you on the lips. the both of us meet each other head on. my arms finally wrapping around him to pull him closer as his arms trailed everywhere around you.

he picked me up and carry me over to the bed and laid me down. that night we spent reuniting with one another.

-

next morning came and the alarm rang for 10am. you woke up startled, but just laid there trying to back to sleep. you hear rustling on the other side of the bed as baekhyun turned off the alarm and wrapped his arm around your waist again.

confused by his action you turned over, "not going to work?" you questioned. while staring at his cute face. he shakes his head.

"i'll take care of whatever i need to take care of at home......... and that means firing that woman" he says before he made himself comfortable by snuggling closer to you.

i was a bit worried because of what baekhyun said she can do to him if he fires her, "but what about the lies she will do?"

"i'll face whatever bump it takes me and because i know and you know that i am innocent, that is enough" he smiles though his eyes are still closed.

not wanting to disturb him any further i fully turn to him and get closer to him. wrapping my arm around his torso. giving him a quick peck on his lips before closing my eyes to drift off again.

—

authornote: hello xD! i just wrote this for the past few hours after remembering a oneshot i read on tumblr similar to this that is no longer posted. so i figured to just write something similar to keep myself from going crazy by not being able to read it again aha. sry for the mistakes you see, but i hope you enjoy reading!

- admin b

[haikyuu-scenarios-drabbles]

anonymous asked:  How would you feel about an Avatar AU? I’d love to see what element, or if a character is a non-bender, you feel would match your favourite characters in HQ!

oh-HO. i am unsure if you know that Avatar is one of my all-time favorite shows so when i saw this ask i was pumped!!! without further ado: i finally had some inspiration. i took this a bit farther than just my fav characters (i did as many as i could think of) and although i say in my rules i don’t do hc’s i felt this ask was best answered in that format so i did my best! i hope you enjoy 😁 im nervous as hell about headcanons 😬 some i have reasons for (serious or funny) and others i just...have a feeling 

special shoutout to my discord fam that i love so dearly and especially to @animelake13 and @justoverseas for helping me out 💕💕

Karasuno:

Daichi:

Alright with those thighs and that dependability?? Earthbender through and through

He is a rock solid, all-around player that holds Karasuno all together

he is their BASE, stable as fuck

he didn’t get those thighs from nothing he got them kicking around some boulders

didnt get those arms from nothing either, punching rocks out of mountainsides

Suga:

Waterbender for sure

Hello? Mr. Refreshing

Very calm and level-headed, but like Katara: DO NOT. FUCK WITH HIM.

He’ll fuck you up

again like Katara, mom friend, supporting the whole team, caring a lot about them and getting ready to fight and ready to jump in and help at a moments notice

Asahi: (Thanks Louie!)

ok so this boy was hard to decide bc, he’s a nervous bean but also the motherfuckin ace so he ain’t playin around

so i decided on earthbender because, he’s a big boi; a powerful and all-around player that has the respect of his teammates

and although he’s nervous, so maybe he doesn’t use earthbending to the extent of other benders but when he needs to, he will

and when he does it has impact and he is a pretty strong earthbender to boot

he can move fucking mountains when he wants to

member of the white lotus bc he only uses his immense power when he absolutely has to

noya: “asahi!! show us your bending”

asahi: “oh im not much of a bender”

MOVES A CONTINENT

Noya:

While my first instinct was firebender

the more i thought about it the more airbender made sense

air is the element of freedom and Noya is the definition of wild and free

not only that but his position too! airbending is almost purely defensive

sounds like our guardian diety to me

also can u imagine

Noya and Hinata racing like maniacs on air scooters

Daichi throwing up barriers all over the place to stop them but they just nyoom around them like obstacles

airbending is all about circles too and roooooolllliiiinnnng (hehe) thunder!!!

Tanaka:

alrighty well here is Karasuno’s firebender

Firebending is known for its intense and aggressive attacking style and literally

Tanaka yells like a maniac anytime he goes in for a spike

and firebenders can be hotheaded (dont have to be, Iroh for example) BUT say anything about Kiyoko, Karasuno or really anything and he’s ready to throw down

it might be all talk but he still gets fucking triggered

he fires up two flames in his palms and makes that face “ehhh what did you say about our lovely Kiyoko-san?!?”

Enno:

airbender

he has such patience and probably mediates or something 

or else he’d go crazy from Tanaka and Noya doing stupid airbender/firebender shit and burning down the entire town 

deals it out when he needs to, sometimes blowing Tanaka and Noya to opposite sides of the room and pinning them there until they calm the fuck down

anytime Tanaka gets too heated, Enno just shows up and blows out his fire 

Hinata:

ok so i kinda spoiled earlier

but airbender

i know airbending is defensive and Hinata sucks at that aspect, but his personality man, airbender all the way

again imagine him and Noya zooming on air scooters around

they would be a MENANCE

but also in the same sense, airbending is all about finding a way around the “normal” way of fighting (they refuse to harm anything is what i mean)

Hinata had to find his own way of fighting in volleyball and yeah…airbender  

possibly bc he’s a bit of an airhead too  

Kageyama:

WATERBENDER BUT WITH BLOODBENDING BACKGROUND

ok hear me out

he used to want to control people and make them do what he wants, otherwise get rid of them bc they’re useless and who needs ‘em

but then he meets this stupid, bounce off the walls, airbender who he doesn’t need to control bc this kid already does what he couldnt find in anyone else

and he slowly learns to stop using bloodbending, sometimes slips and lapses, but for the most part has left that part of him behind

also water is the element of change and Kageyama certainly goes through a major change in character throughout Haikyuu

everytime Hina and him fight, they make a snowstorm that nobody can stop and it pisses Tsukki off bc he can’t do anything about it

Tsukki: (props to Lake for this one)

tsukki why are you an enigma

nonbender and is a sword master 

with his ability to analyze and control, he would heckin destroy 

sword fights are a lot about watching your opponent and being able to make a quick decision to block or counter attack 

he can definitely make decisions at the drop of a hat and his strategies work and work well 

Yamaguchi:

THIS BOY

IS A WATERBENDER BUT SPECIALIZES IN HEALING

when Karasuno needs him most!!! he’s there!! ready to help and get his team back on his feet, in this sense by healing them

and also like Suga, mirroring Katara, don’t fuck with him. especially when it comes to Tsukki

AGAIN like Katara/Suga, mom friend, there to support all the time and bust in and help when needed

More teams under the cut!

Aoba Johsai:

Oikawa:

so there’s a bit of a trend here i see

but Oikawa would also be a waterbender, i guess it’s a setter thing

water is the element of change and Oikawa adjusts his setting style and approach for each of his team members to bring out the best of them

waterbenders let their defense become their offense turning their opponents own forces against them which i think fits Oikawa to a T

can make ice spikes he can throw long distances with scary accurate precision

like, one can just zip past your ear, and you dont see him anywhere where tf is he?!

Iwaizumi: 

i couldn’t decide between firebender and earthbender

so i went with the lovely mix, lavabender 

just like Toph, Iwa shows his affection through some sort of violence, but thats just cause he cares a lot

oikawa has mastered the art of distinguishing flaming hunks of smoldering rock thrown at his face

also stubborn unmoving like a rock

and when he gets heated, he is fired up

and finally, arms. where did he get ‘em? throwing boulders around. 

Shiratorizawa:

Ushijima:

metalbender, bc he’s definitely an earth bender but there’s something special about him

he’s a little dense (ok maybe not a little)

Earthbenders are generally muscular, tough and direct AND HELLO. thats Ushijima in a nutshell 

Tendou:

our guess monster is definitely a non-bender

like ty lee specializes in chi-blocking 

he can disrupt someones chi pretty easily making them completely helpless 

sometimes he does it to be funny 

like make Ushi’s right arm useless for a day 

and Ushi is like “Tendou. I don’t use that arm anyways.” 

“i knoooooooow Wakatoshi thats the point!”

which for some reason Tendou thinks is hilarious cause now he really cant use it 

Semi:

firebender

mainly bc of his hotheaded and competitive behavior 

his desire to show his abilities in his words is “uncontainable” and that kind of made me think of Azula 

wants to show off and be the best 

Shirabu:

so although Shirabu is also extremely hot-headed, he hits me as a waterbender too 

maybe just because every single setter so far has been a waterbender but its just my gut feeling 🤷

Nekoma:

Kuroo:

firebender but can lightning bend

dont ask me why it just seems right

he has the concentration and flow it takes to lightning bend, i mean he has that whole speech he gives to his team before every game 

“We're like the blood in our veins. We must flow without stopping. Keep the oxygen moving and your mind working.” 

and while this may lead to possibly thinking he could be a waterbender, he uses his knack for fluid motion and deceptive strength for a different purpose

not only can he lightning bend, he can redirect lightning which takes an immense amount of skill and is drawn from waterbending techniques

maybe its also the hair cause it looks like he got hit by lightning

Kenma:

ill be honest, i dont think Kenma would be a bender

what he would be ilike is Sokka, super smart, the strategizer, the man with the plan

who people look to for the next step, the brain of the operation

and i dont think he’d necessarily have a speciality besides overwhelming ability to observe and make decisions

so basically…he’d be the same LOL

Yaku:

earthbender

being small (dont kick me Yaku) means nothing (uhh have you seen Toph?)

super dependable and not gunna take anyone’s shit

Yamamoto:

Tanaka’s counterpart

his homeboy

his fellow firebender

both ready to throwdown at a moments notice

Fukurodani: (wow i suck i dont know anyone well enough but these two)

Bokuto:

did someone say airbender??

i just keep imagining he was the one to teach Hinata the air scooter and they fuckin zoom around while Bokuto is hollering at the top of his lungs

his hair already looks winblown, like he just stepped off his glider and doesn’t bother to fix it

also im cackling bc airbenders prefer evasive manuevers and…i keep thinking about that time he ran away from a block and Akaashi called him out for it

Akaashi: (ily Lake for helping)

so apparently setters are waterbenders

bc this boy is definitely one

he has nice fingers (weird i know) but i can see him just making these beautiful hand motions to bend water and hnngg yes

ok but in a more real way, waterbenders have strong fluid motion and understand those around them, they believe in very strong connections between individuals 

so even when Bo is out of the game, Fukurodani doesn’t fall apart because they have strong connections and can survive without him 

[maximows]

Against the Odds - Chapter IV

Thats convenient,

MASTERLIST (mobile) AO3 

Warnings: smut, fam meetings and douchey friends

“What should I wear?” Chris’ voice echoed from our hotel bedroom. “I didn’t bring many clothes.”

I was just about to put in an earring, when he came into the bathroom. “Which one?” he held out a white and a light blue dress shirt.

“Whoa, you want to wear a dress shirt to meet my parents?” I smirked. “You’re not proposing, are you?”

“I did tell you that I’m not letting that skillful mouth of yours get away from me,” he joked. “But we are going to a restaurant, right?”  

“Yes,” I nodded. “But please, don’t make a great deal out of it. It will only make both of us more nervous. And wear the white one.”  

The restaurant was only a few blocks away, so we took a short walk. Chris looked amazing in that shirt and black trousers. I wished we had an extra 15 minutes for a quickie before the dinner, but it had to wait. “Maybe I should’ve brought a bottle of wine or something?” he asked, nervously.

“I’m sure there’s wine at the restaurant, love,” I smiled and rubbed his forearm. “You have nothing to worry about.”

Chris was incredibly nervous about meeting my parents. Apart from being worried that they might not like him, he also concerned about not understanding their accents, which weren’t different from mine, so no, there was nothing to worry about.

“Should I pick up the check?” he continued. “I read about it, and...”

I interrupted him by simply taking his face in my hands and kissing him, long and deep. “They are gonna love you, Christopher,” I whispered against his lips. “So please, don’t worry.”

He nodded. “Thank you.”  

We entered the restaurant, where my parents were already sitting, waiting for us. I squeezed Chris’ bicep to cheer him up. “Hi, Mum,” I greeted her, giving her a kiss on the cheek. “Dad,” I moved back to Chris and introduced him. “This is Chris.”

“Mrs. Dawson, Mr. Dawson.” I noticed his voice became a bit lower and more serious.  

“It is very lovely to meet you, Chris,” my mum said.

“Emily told us a lot of good things about you.” Dad added.

We sat down and ordered. Chris got a little bit more relaxed once he realized my parents were really not that scary. He was mainly nervous because of the conflict I had with them at the beginning of the year, but it was now all sorted out. My dad did like the fact that Chris decided not to drink alcohol, but didn’t know that he refused only because we were going to my friend's party later and he didn’t want to mix.

“So, you two are going to be in a film together, right?” my Mum asked.  

Chris nodded. “Yes, we’re filming the first one right now, it’s Avengers: Age of Ultron. We are two months into filming and just came back from South Korea. We’re actually very lucky to be doing this together and avoid being apart for such a long time.”

“Emily was always into comic books, I’m not surprised she landed a role in Marvel movies.” My dad laughed. “She'd always run around with her brothers playing football or something.”  

“Since I couldn’t bring our family albums, I have a few pictures on my phone,” my Mum reached to her bag. “I’m sure Chris would love to see some.”

“Thank you, mum.” I said as I saw Chris' eyes light up. The only reason why I didn't protest, was because how happy Chris was now. My parents really liked him. How could anyone not like him? I looked at him, as he scrolled through my baby pictures with my mum and God... I love him. Words cannot describe what I feel when I look at my insanely beautiful and kind boyfriend.

After Chris finished telling my parents the story of his life, childhood and other stuff, I noticed that it was time for us to go. “Chris, we should head out.” I interrupted.

We said our goodbyes. Fortunately, there was no fight over the bill. My dad accepted Chris' offer to pay. Chris was a bit disappointed that my brothers couldn’t make it, but they both work in the same team and had an emergency they had to attend to.

“You have my parents wrapped around your finger,” I joked on our way back to the hotel. “They were mesmerized.”  

“What can I say? Parents love me.” He shrugged. We reached the entrance. “I’ll just a have a smoke and I’ll be up in a minute.”

I furrowed my eyebrows. “I asked you to stop smoking, baby.”  

“It’s not that easy.” He shrugged.

I rolled my eyes at him and went back to our room. He did a good job hiding his addiction from me in the early stages of our relationship. He said that it was easier, because we weren’t spending as much time together as we are now. But now that we're both working on the same project, he couldn’t hide it anymore. I’m not saying that him smoking would have been a deal breaker, but I hate cigarettes and as much as I hate it when people ask their partners to change, I’d like to come up with a system to make him stop smoking.

I took a very quick shower and headed out to the bedroom in a towel, to find something to wear. I settled on black trousers, white t-shirt and a jacket.

I was still in my underwear when Chris came back. “Keep your distance, ashtray.” I snapped as he tried to get close to me. I hate the smell of cigarettes and it instantly makes me sick.  

I laid on the bed, while Chris was in the shower. There was still a lot of time before we had to leave, so I just opened Instagram and scrolled though my feed. Sophia had already posted her outfit for the evening.  

I heard that Chris finished showering, so I laid on my stomach, arching my back so my butt was popping out. “Chriiiis!” I called. “Can you help me with my phone?”

“In a second,” he called back and soon I heard the door open. “what is... oh, you fucking didn’t.”  

I turned to see him with messy wet hair, in a towel around his hips. “Come on, babe.” I wiggled my butt at him.  

“Look at those long legs...” He walked over and I felt his finger draw a line from my foot, through my calf all the way to my upper thigh. He then got on the bed and sat on my thighs. His hands grabbed my butt cheeks firmly. I groaned as he squeezed then firmly. “I am so fucking lucky...” he sighed and spanked me. I gasped as I felt my skin sting lightly. He’s never done that before. “Did you like it?” he whispered.

“Yeah,” I moaned. “Do it again.”

I felt his palm smack against my ass again, but this time it was harder, and I gasped. “Fuck.” I mumbled against the sheets.

“I’m loving it, but I need to fuck you already.” He blurted. I felt his fingers gently run up and down my clothed pussy. “How are you always so wet, baby girl?”

I turned to meet his gaze. “You make me.” I groaned, feeling chills all over my body, caused by Chris' thumb rubbing against my panties. I heard him loose the towel, then he lowered my panties and I felt cold air against my sex. Chris buried two fingers in between my folds and breathed out slowly.

“Chris, please...” I begged as he removed his fingers. They were soon replaced the tip of Chris' dick. “Fuck, yes.”

I felt a light stretch which was both painful and pleasurable. I gripped the sheets as Chris moved deeper inside me. He hovered over my body, so his lips could reach the top of my spine. “You're taking me so well, baby...” he groaned against my skin. “Come on, come for me.”

He started to pick up the pace, supporting himself with his one arm and using the other to hold my waist down. I felt my walls tighten around his shaft as my orgasm neared, I couldn't stop moaning, the friction was too much, Chris’ moans turned me on even more and I let go.  

Chris turned me to lay on my side, entered me again and he continued thrusting into me, his movements becoming more and more sloppy. I was seeing stars and I’m pretty sure my moans were audible from outside our apartment. Chris reached between my legs to play with clit. “You ready to come again for me, baby?” he breathed out.  

I heard Chris groan one last time as he released into me. I felt his dick twitch and we came together. Chris laid down, wrapping his arm around my waist to pull me close to his body. “I’m nearly 33 years old and I'm having the best sex of my life with you.”

“I wish I could say the same thing...” I sighed and made Chris glare angrily at me. “But I have no comparison.”  

We stayed like that for a while before leaving for the party. It was a 30 minute drive from our hotel. Chris was driving with his hand constantly on my thigh, I held on to his arm. I did want to drive, because he doesn’t have experience driving on the left side, but he wouldn’t let me. “You’re going to drive on the way back, after I’ve had too much to drink.”  

“What if I want to drink too?” I asked, raising my eyebrow.  

“Oh, I mean, that’s fine...” he struggled.

“I’m kidding! It’s fine, you agreed to meet my friends, I won’t drink if you want to.” I said, giving his bicep a kiss. “Besides, I hate most of them and I wanna show you off.”

He burst into laughter. “How can you hate your friends?”  

“I like my friends, but I don’t like their friends and they are also gonna be there,” I explained. “Oh, and I should warn you. The guy I, um... the guy who turned out to be taken will be there.”  

“Ok, I can take that.” He nodded.  

“And the guy I used to have a crush on.” I added quickly. “But I really don’t talk to them anymore, you don’t even have to acknowledge them, ok? And if you hear a stupid comment, just think about the great sex we have, right?”  

“I’m gonna be fine, everyone’s got their history and I'm not going to ruin your night with friends with some jealousy outbursts.”

We arrived at Sophie and Mary’s house and walked inside hand in hand. The girls surrounded us immediately, more excited to see Chris than me, their best friend. “It’s so nice to finally meet you! We’ve heard so much about you!”

It didn’t take long for Chris to get to know most of the people and disappear into conversation with them. I stayed in the kitchen with the girls, using the one moment we had to talk privately.

“Emilia Alexandra, he is perfect for you.” Amy said. “Visually, he’s exactly your type and character-wise, he’s all a man should be.”  

“I know, he’s amazing.” I sighed, watching him talk to Mary's boyfriend. No wonder, they were both around the same age. “And, don’t get me wrong, but... I’m afraid.”  

“Why? Has he done anything?” Sophia inquired, lowering her voice.

“No, no. He’s absolutely perfect,” I smiled. “But he's older. 11 years is not the biggest age gap Hollywood has witnessed, but in a year or two, he'll start talking about having children. Right now, the whole idea of a childbirth freaks me out...”

“Don’t think about it now, ok? I’m sure Chris understands that he’s not dating a woman who has to hurry up if she wants to be a mother,” Mary explained. “Besides, the man is clearly in love with you, already. He would wait 20 more years for you to be ready.”

We had to end the conversation when more and more people neared the kitchen. I went to the living room, but before I sat down next to my boyfriend, Will, my former crush, appeared in front of me.

We used to have this weird dynamic – we were never a couple, but our friends told us that we looked like one. “Haven't seen you in a long time, Em,” He said. “How are you?”

“Oh, I’m alright,” I answered. “A little bit busy at the moment, but life’s good.”

“Yeah, you got yourself a superhero,” he moved on to the topic quickly. “He doesn’t seem your type, though.”

“Well, if you think that smart, tall, handsome and kind is not my type, then you’re wrong and most certainly don’t know me.” I shrugged and took a sip of my non-alcoholic mojito.

Not wanting to waste any more time on Will, I walked to the living room, where Chris was having an incredibly energetic conversation with Harry, Mary's boyfriend, and Lucas. I wanted to sit next to him, but the moment he saw me, he wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me down to sit on his lap. “How’s things?” I whispered and kissed his temple.  

“Things are good,” He responded with a sly smile on his face. “I thought you weren’t drinking tonight, baby.”

“It’s a mojito, but without rum,” I explained. “So, what were you talking about?”

“Oh, Chris was just telling us about Korea,” Harry said. “I’m actually going there on a work trip next month.”

“That’s great,” I smiled. “I should've gone into marketing, you travel all the time and get to actually see the cities you go to...”

“Heyyy,” Chris furrowed his eyebrows. “You wouldn’t have met me then.”  

Mary walked in with even more food on the plates and set them on the table. “So, Em, still can’t tell us anything about the movie?”

“Oh, no fucking way,” I shook my head. “Marvel would fucking shoot me, just ask Chris. He’s been in this much longer than me.”

“That’s true, they barely tell us anything and it constantly gets worse...” He confirmed.  

“How did you two meet?” Sam, Will's brother asked. At some point in the past, I thought he liked me, that we were getting along, because we had a lot in common, but it turned out that he was as mean as his brother was dumb.  

“We were on a plane to LA together and then I came to Chris' party.” I explained.  

“Oh, did she end up unconscious or vomited into your sink?” Adam asked and I rolled my eyes at him. I did this once at his house, because they kept pouring me strong drinks on an empty stomach. “She tends to do that.”

“Nooo, I think she was actually enjoying herself at mine,” Chris replied, shutting Adam down.  

I could see Sophie glaring at Adam, Will and Sam, but it didn’t stop them. “Hey, do you remember, when you got so drunk on wine that you called Will to pick you up?” Sam smiled widely. “God, you were barely able to walk back to the car, weren’t you?”  

I felt Chris' fingers squeeze the skin of my waist more tightly. I knew he wouldn't do anything remotely impolite. I didn’t mind them saying that stuff – I knew it was only because they were mad that I was going forward and had an amazing boyfriend by my side. They were once the only men in my closest circle and now they were just feeling threatened. “Wait, is he the guy you told me about? The one who crashed his parents' car, because he was trying to overtake a sports car?” he asked, faking confusion. God, I do love him. And I hate it when people try to make themselves relevant.

“Ohh, yeah, that’s him.” I smiled cheekily and discreetly scratched the back of Chris' neck, which I knew he loved.

“Ok, I think that’s enough reminiscing for today, isn’t it?” Sophie interrupted.  

I hated every part of the evening which consisted of talking to anyone outside of my closest circle. Fortunately, most of them left before us, so the atmosphere got better and better.

A while later, Chris and I said our goodbyes to the remaining guests and left for our rental car. He was holding me tightly by his side, mostly because he got a bit hammered with the group of my friends that were actually acting normally around him. “I hate your friends,” he whined. “but I love your best friends.”

“I’m glad to hear that.” I said as Chris walked me to the driver's seat. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer to him as we faced each other.

“I want to say something,” he blurted out in a nearly sober voice. “Before I do, I want you to know that even though I am a little drunk, I am fully aware of what I’m saying and I’m taking responsibility for my words. Also, I’m sorry for saying this on an ordinary night like that,” he took a deep breath. “I’m in love with you, very much.”

My mouth formed a wide grin as I cupped his cheeks in my hands. “That’s very convenient,” I whispered against his lips and gave him a gentle kiss. “me too.”

He pressed another kiss on my lips, this time harder, more hungrily. He tasted like scotch, cigarettes and mint gum. “I am so lucky that these guys are absolute garbage, I got to snag you for myself.”

The next day, when we landed in Boston, we were both tired, but it was only 2pm. Chris was still feeling a little bit hangover from the night before. He slept through most of our flight, with his head on my lap. I’m sure it wasn’t comfortable for him, but he does love it when I play with his hair.  

I met Chris' oldest sister at the airport, where she came to pick us up. “Hi, I’m Carly,” She greeted me and hugged. “It’s so nice to finally meet you.”  

“You too,” I smiled.  

“They’re all dying to see you,” She cheered. “And Chris, the kids are going to go crazy once you walk through the door.”

“I’m not gonna be a fun uncle today, I’m sooo hangover.” Chris whined. “We're going straight to bed.”  

“Speak for yourself, Evans.” I said.

I was a little bit nervous when we reached Chris' family house. He’s always told me how close they are, especially his mother and him and I really wanted to make a good impression. That’s why I didn’t travel in my most comfortable clothes and chose something more presentable.  

We entered the house and Chris was almost immediately tacked down to the ground by three children. “Oh God, they're gonna kill me! Help!” he shouted.  

Chris’ mum came out to greet us. “Oh, Emily! I’m so glad he’s finally brought you here!” chucked. “I've been hearing about you from Scott for months now.”

“Hope it's only the good things.” I smiled.  

“Oh, definitely,” she smiled. “Let my get you something to eat. Chris, please take your luggage to your bedroom.”

Chris just made a strange sound as he was surrounded by his nephews.

Lisa made an excellent lasagne and salad (amongst other things). I was literally in a food coma. Chris couldn’t stop laughing at me and my post-meal facial expressions. “I always try to make her eat more and you accomplished that in just one hour, mom. Amazing.”  

“You’re making it sound like I’m starving myself, but there’s just a lot of things I shouldn’t eat.” I explained. “I mean, I haven’t had a coffee in ages.”

Chris nodded. “True, I have no idea how she does it.”

“Emily, you should let me know what you wouldn’t want to eat,” Lisa suggested. “Chris should've let me know...”

“Oh, no, no. Please, don’t go out of your way for me. I can eat everything...”  

“Except for brussels, asparagus...” Chris started to count on his fingers.

I’m not gonna lie, I was enjoying the attention Chris’ niece was giving me. As soon as Chris told her about my Cinderella role, Millie kept asking me about my dress, the prince, carriage. I showed her pictures of myself on the set and she looked like I was her idol already.  

“I should dump you solely for that comment at the table.” I snapped, laying in bed as Chris was changing. Everyone left for some event at Carly's school and we decided to stay in and take a nap. “I loved that lasagne and now I’m afraid your mom is never going to make it again. I intend on keeping our relationship going just for that lasagne.”

“Ouch,” he gasped and lied shirtless next to me. I was wearing a hoodie of his I found in his wardrobe. He said that it was older than my second teeth. “But seriously – I haven’t brought any girl here in a very long time, so mom is incredibly excited. She actually wants to take you to the theatre tomorrow.”  

“Really?” I asked excitedly. “What for?”  

“I don’t know, probably just to hang out together,” he shrugged. “And then, my dad is coming over for dinner.”  

“Right, ok,” I nodded, moving my head to lay on his bicep. “And the day after tomorrow... It’s your birthday.”

Chris pressed his lips into a thin line. “Yup, it is,” he sighed and brought me closer to press my torso against his. “Can we just not make a great deal out of it?”  

“You made a huge deal out of mine though, love.”

“Yeah, but you weren’t turning 33 years old.”  

I sighed and lifted myself up to sit on his torso. I pressed my hands against his firm chest. “Your age isn’t going to stop me from preparing celebrations, Evans,” I grinned. “I mean, everything is already prepared, you’re not getting away.” I leaned down to give him a kiss. “I loved my birthday this year,” I whispered. “I want to do something equally great for you, so let me do this, you dumbass.”

He burst into laughter as I pressed my mouth against his collarbone tattoo. “Oh, I love you,” He grabbed my side and pulled me closer. “You’re just... flawless.”

I pulled back to look him in the eyes. His beautiful blue eyes were still tired from the night before. His hair was a little messy from laying on the bed, but it might have also been my fault. I leaned down to give his nose a quick kiss. “I love you too, handsome.”  

Chris moved his hand down to the curve of my ass. “How about we use the time alone we got to have a little fun?” he asked. “I mean, we are in my childhood home. An opportunity like that won’t happen again soon.”

I sat back. “Did you just say you love me and then suggest having sex?” I tilted my head to the side.  

He shrugged. “I don’t know, can’t remember, I’m an old man.”  

I giggled at his comment and wanted to actually start the fun, but we heard the door open downstairs. I sighed. “Well, that sums up the fun for the day.”  

“Come ‘ere, baby,” he whispered. “Let’s just pretend we're taking a nap or else the kids will attack me again.” He spooned me, wrapped his arms around me and brought my back close to his chest. “Goodnight, love.”

Even though I was only hoping to sleep for like an hour, I ended up sleeping through the whole night. I woke up around 8 am. The bed was empty, so I got up and found my leggings in the suitcase. I opened the door quietly and went downstairs, where I found Chris in the kitchen.

“Oh, hello, sleepy head,” he got up off the stool and walked up to me and gave me a kiss on the forehead.

“Hi,” I answered. “I can’t believe I slept for so long.” I counted the hours and I slept for almost 12 hours non-stop.

“You went through 2 months of shooting on maximum 5 hours of sleep every night, you deserve some more time to rest.” He whispered against my hair.

Lisa came into the kitchen as Chris was making me a tea. “Oh, you’re up! I was afraid we wouldn’t get the chance to spend some time together,” she said. “I’m going to the theatre in a while, would you want to join me?”  

“Of course! Just give me a few minutes to take a shower and get dressed.” I smiled and sprinted upstairs.  

“She's gonna have energy to deal with those kids, she spent 13 hours in bed and woke up after me,” Chris said to Lisa. “It barely ever happens, Mom. Never.”

It was one of the quickest showers of my life. I didn't want Lisa to wait too long for me, so I tried to hurry.  

Soon enough we were in a car driven by Chris. He was supposed to drop us off at the theatre and head to the gym. I was a bit nervous about spending time alone with Lisa, but I trusted Chris' words and knew that she was nothing but a kind person.  

“I’ll pick you up at 2, alright?” he waved as we left the car.  

Lisa let me watch a few rehearsals with her and it kind of brought back my memories from school and university. Those kids were already taking acting more seriously then I ever did. I sat there in the audience and watched their rehearsal. The teacher asked me to find something I thought they could improve, but honestly I didn’t see myself as any kind of authority in that matter. “You know, the last time I did any kind of theatre work was back in university, which wasn’t that long ago, but I was always more focused on films.” I explained. “The one thing I can tell you, is that I found meditation to be very helpful, because I couldn’t really mute the sound of the audience.”

“It also helps with auditions, filming, social interactions,” I added. “You need to be incredibly confident, don’t let people interrupt you, you’re the one on stage and they paid to see you.”

I watched the rehearsal until the end and then Lisa took me to her office. Even though I knew she wouldn’t question me like it was an interrogation, I was a little bit nervous, as it was our first time completely alone together.

“I love it here,” I admitted. “It kind of reminds me of my time in uni when I actually did theatre work. Of course, it wasn’t anything involving dance and singing, because it’s absolutely not my thing.”

“Oh, I’m sure you’d do just fine,” she assured me. “I saw your new movie a month ago and I really enjoyed it. I’ve actually seen a few of your movies since Chris told me about you. I do like how you don’t stick to one genre and it always turns out great.”

“Thank you so much,” I said, my voice shaking. “I’m sorry, I’m just a bit nervous. I feel like I’m at a job interview, but not because of you. I just have that natural fear of saying something stupid in important situations.”

Lisa laughed at me, but in a kind way. She admitted that she was a little surprised and hesitant, when Chris told her that I was younger – only because he always dated his age – but it didn’t take her much time to realize how important I was to him and that we were God door each other. With that said, I could feel tears pool in my eyes. Suck it up. “You know, whenever Chris brings a girl home, I’m a bit nervous. I do trust his taste, but the last one was a total miss, if I have to be honest. The main problem is that he hasn’t had a long-time relationship for a very long time now and I’m worried. You know, I’m fine with whoever he goes for, but I want him to be happy. And I know that for him, happiness means marriage and, eventually, kids.”

I knew what she meant. And she was trying to get information in the most polite way possible. “Lisa, I love him. It’s still early to even think about it, though. The one thing I can say is that I’m sure Chris is going to be a great husband and father, so if we work out for a time long enough, I’ll happily help him make his dreams come true. I don’t know how much it’ll take for me. It could be 2 years, could be 5.”

Lisa sighed and smiled. “You’re both really similar. You like the same things, I can see that you’re comfortable around each other,” she admitted. “Chris called me after your first date and said that you’ve known each other for a day and he felt like he was just wasting his time before he met you.” I couldn’t help but smile as the said that. I knew that our relationship was moving fast, but knowing how he felt about me in such early stages... “I really hope you two work out, because I’m looking forward to seeing my son as happy as he is with you more frequently.”

At this point I was just grinning like a crazy person. “Oh God, I have no idea what to say now.”

I was actually holding back tears after our little chat. Lisa was an incredible woman and I saw that she cared for her children, but not in an invasive way. She didn’t make me feel like she’d hunt me down if something went wrong in our relationship.  

Lisa stayed in a little longer, but I went outside where Chris was waiting for us. He’s changed his clothes after visiting the gym, his hair was pulled back but in a messy way. “How was your day?” he asked as I kissed him on the cheek.

“Well, I watched a few rehearsals, talked to the kids and then had a nice talk with your mum,” I answered. “She nearly made me cry.”

“What?” he seemed confused.

“She almost made me cry by being so nice and supporting of us.” I explained with a big grin on my face.

“Oh, that sounds more like her,” he said, wrapping his arm around me. “Now, will you tell me how is it possible that my filming schedule has been conveniently pushed back a day, so I don’t have to work on my birthday?”  

I just shrugged. “I have no idea, BUT I bet you should thank your awesome girlfriend for that. Just in case.”

He pulled me into a hug and I felt his tense muscles against my body. “Thank you so much and seeing you excited for what you’ve prepared makes me even more anxious to find out what it is.” He whispered against my neck.

I leaned back a bit to face him. “You’re gonna love it, I promise.” I said and kissed him gently. I loved Chris' habit of pulling me tightly against his body whenever we kissed. It made me just forget about the whole world and focus on him.  

Lisa soon joined us and we drove back home, where I helped Lisa cook dinner. The whole family came over in the evening, apart from Scott, who was in LA. I got to meet Chris’ dad, Bob. He spent some time with us. I couldn’t believe how similar Chris and his father looked.  

I was actually trying to observe how they acted, because, well. They’ve been divorced for quite a while now and have adult children, which required them to spend a lot of time together. But, as I suspected, it was an incredibly friendly and respectful relationship. It was obvious that something just hadn’t worked out and they both decided to get a divorce. I could only hope that my parents will be exactly the same.  

Chris and Bob went out to the garden to play with the kids, while I stayed in the kitchen with Lisa. “So, Chris has told me about your parents' separation...”

“Yeah,” I nodded. “I was actually watching you and Bob and the way you are after getting a divorce.”  

“Oh, we’ve been divorced for almost, what, 15 years,” she laughed. “Right now, I can barely remember what it was like being married to him. It was tough at the beginning, but the marriage just stopped working out for us, so we decided to end it.”

“I hope my parents are like that once they get a divorce. I’d hate to be just put in between them.”

“I’m sure it will be fine. It’s much easier to separated when you don’t have small children anymore. There’s no custody battle, which is one of the reasons why divorce cases take so long.”

Lisa was right. I kept thinking about my parents like they couldn’t handle their own life. I’m not dependent on them anymore, so I don’t have to worry about their relationship. Yes, it would be ideal if they stayed friends, but it’s their life.

In the evening, we all sat down in the living room, played some board games and watched a movie. I felt incredibly comfortable amongst Chris' family and some friends who have joined us. I was very sad about us leaving tomorrow and having to go to bed early in order to get more sleep. “I love your family.” I whispered against his chest as we laid in bed.  

“That's convenient.” He pressed a kiss against my forehead.  

The next day, we spent some time in the house, but had to rush to the airport in the afternoon.  

“When are you going to tell me where we're going?” Chris asked as we entered the airport.  

“I’d like to keep it a complete secret,” I answered. “Until an airport employee accuses me of kidnapping or something, I’m not spilling.”

It was all carefully planned. I gave Chris earplugs and somehow, he still didn’t know out destination as we entered the plane. I couldn’t make him wear earplugs during the safety training, so that was where he found out.

“Why are we going to Houston?” he seemed a bit confused. I just shrugged, so he knew I wasn’t going to say anything.  

Chris was a bit desperate to find out what was going on. He kept saying that it’s his birthday and I should tell him. Then he tried to bribe me with sexual favours, which also did not work out. To be honest, I thought he would’ve had it figured out by now, but he still was clueless.  

I had it all prepared – we drove to the hotel and then to the NASA Space Center, where I not only booked us a trip around the center, but also paid for it to be open for 3 more hours, so we could have a private tour and then, after it gets dark, use some of the telescopes.  

“You have got to be kidding me, Emilia.” Chris blurted out as I put a NASA cap on his head. “That is so fucking awesome.”

He was like a child in Disneyland. No, scratch that. Chris was acting like himself in Disneyland. I loved the fact that it was thanks to me and he was actually enjoying himself. He was such a fucking dork and I loved every second of it.  

Chris kept asking questions to our guide and I was actually stunned by the knowledge he already had.  

I’m getting him a meeting with Neil Degrasse Tyson next year.  

@daybreak96 @coffeebooksandfandom @smilexcaptainx @betinalunardi @rollinsuh @lily2089@stella2445 @hy-pocrite @l0rd-disick @beholdoritou @klaussstilinski@achishisha@givenchymercury @just-trying-to-survive-marvel @henry-cavill-gossip-girl @rock-titties @bombsandsparkles @marvel-fan23 @cap-just-said-language @blackaestheticislife @justsomemarvelspam @nerdchester17 @shyofaspark @cssrogersse@crispyearthquakezombie@ultragalaxy @bit-of-a-timelord @kingofallthingsz @morguleth@calicokitkat @areelphony@gemgemswift @donut-crazs @dontchawishyouknewhowtosalsa@kandomeresbitch @deafeningpsychicpandahands @severely-theoretic @chmedic @patzammit@winterssoliderss@metalarmlover @saturnki @sammyjammy92

[jessiewre]

Day 22

Sun 26th Jan 💜

It’s been a year to the day since we lost Nanny. That’s mad isn’t it. Miss that legend.

Woke up at about 5am because we’d gone to bed too early, but managed to power through and stay in bed till 7am. Phil got up and continued researching his new obsession - a half marathon near Kilimanjaro - and I joined him at 8:30am for Spanish omelette breakfast included in our 25$ a night room. Good deal that init. People say that in London you’re never further than like 5 meters away from a rat. Well thats like me and good deals, there’s always one close by for me to sniff out. Maybe I’m more like one of those pigs and the deals are truffles.

I digress...

The hostel manager was now wearing a chefs coat and I realised he was now the chef. What a multi-talented chap he was. I threw him into a frenzy by asking for salt, pepper, ketchup and chilli sauce, and eventually went into the kitchen myself to assist.

The ketchup was in a huge bucket bottle in the fridge and he gracefully glugged it out into a plastic squeezey bottle that he couldn’t find the lid for. Yum.

Shout out to Stella and Helen who will surely boke at that description of keptchup.

We got bodas to the Woman’s Centre for the recommended walking tour starting at 10am - but there was a big bike race on believe it or not, and so road blocks meant we had to walk the last kilometre. Phil was loving the bike race, I could see his legs twitching like he was imagining himself on a bike that moment, but I soon snapped him back to reality by power-walking ahead to avoid us being super late to the walk.

The sky was rapidly turning a dark shade of grey but Phil assured me that the weather report he’d checked stated that there would be no rain until midday or later.

You may be able to sense where this is going.

We arrived at the Centre and sat in the sofa area for the introduction, and the exact moment the woman began to talk and tell us about the community, the rain began to thunder on the metal roof and no one could hear a word she said. After 10 minutes, the intro finished and the rain actually calmed down a little, but then it went totally crazy again and me and Phil looked at each other like...hmm should we just not do this walking tour.

Another English girl there was thinking the same thing and the 3 of us decided to ditch the tour and head back the next day, while the 3 older people and a young American woman went off in the torrential rain with umbrellas. Umbrella’s are all good and well but I couldn’t see another soul on the streets so I seriously doubted how good a community walking tour would be in this weather. We chatted to the English girl, Esther, and she was ending a weeks work doing research for the Princes Trust who she works for. In a nutshell, she creates programmes for local groups in different countries to integrate technology into their lives to improve their prospects and quality of life. Really interesting! Phil mentioned that she should hang at our hostel later if she wanted as we were planning on trying out the bowling alley on site, and she was really up for that, especially considering she was in Kigali on her own and it was her last night.

The rain eventually calmed down enough for us to jump on a boda and we decided that considering the rain, it would be appropriate to visit the Genocide Museum at this point. We knew we were going to visit it at some point so made sense to be inside during the rain.

We were really hungry though and didn’t want to rush through the museum, so thankfully there was a cafe on site where we had a vege burger and vege panini, both with chips. We decided we’d try and lay off the chips for a while after that meal, it was the chip that broke the camels back.

The Rwandan Genocide museum was a harrowing and necessary visit.

The below information is upsetting, I’ll warn you now.

genocide

noun

noun: genocide; plural noun: genocides

1. the deliberate killing of a large group of people, especially those of a particular nation or ethnic group.

To briefly summarise, the problems began when the country was ‘colonised’ - or should we say if we’re being honest, when the country was invaded against its will. The Germans were first in 1899 then the Belgians in 1916 and then the Belgian’s decided to split the country into three different groups. Ultimately this created a sort of competition between the groups of people that had never existed before and this was what they say sparked the issues in the country. Fast forward to 1994, and the genocide officially began, over a period of 100 days - neighbours were murdering neighbours, friends were murdering friends. Relatives even betrayed each other. By turning people against each other, the ringleaders were able to sit back and watch the killings happen for them.

Being in the country now, its very difficult to imagine it happening, as it feels vibrant, friendly and safe. But the images in the museum leave you under no illusions. People were mindlessly slaughtered, no one was spared - children, pregnant women and men. It was absolutely mind-blowingly horrendous.

The museum talks a lot about how the international community sat back and let it happen, like Rwanda was on another planet that no one cared about. There is obviously a lot of pain from that which was difficult to read about.

But there were also a number of people who put themselves on the line by hiding people in their houses and gardens, saving many lives. Unfortunately, there were not enough of those people and over a million people were killed. They are still uncovering mass graves today.

There were videos playing with interviews from survivors talking about the guilt they feel from being the only member of their family who survived. But incredibly, they spoke about forgiveness and said they would like to forgive the perpetrators if they were willing to ask for forgiveness. They spoke about moving forward with only peace in mind, as this was what would move Rwanda forward in a peaceful way. By seeking revenge, the violence and pain would continue, they said. It’s unbelievable to hear that from someone who watched their innocent young siblings and mother murdered by machete in front of their very eyes. You can’t even imagine what this person has gone through.

One of the most difficult parts of the museum was The Children’s Room. This section had beautiful photos of child victims printed in large portraits displayed around the room, with a small plaque underneath each one with bullet points of information about the child, like:

Name

Age

Favourite Snack

Best Friend


Then the final point for every child was

Cause of death

The descriptions here were detailed and distressing.

Obviously there is a huge amount of detail missing from this account of the genocide and I urge you to have a read about it if you have time and are interested.

We left there after a few hours taking it all in and went to find the Inema Art gallery, as we’d read about it being a really cool artists space that has had a lot of international interest.

It was different to what I expected, as there wasn’t actually a lot of pieces in there - more like a few extremely large pieces, each priced around $5000. So obviously, we bought two and headed off.

Well anyway, some of the artists were there stood near their art in smart clothes and were hoping for a super rich muzungu coming in and buying everything. That was not going to be us, so we thanked them and headed to the cafe for a little coffee.

Not before I asked them if there were any female artists there.

One guy said No, the women in Rwanda seem to stick to the craft-making and THEN he said that even though many are good at art, he thinks they are lacking in passion.

I said Hmm perhaps you means Confidence, not passion.

He was like Oh yeah, maybe that.

Yeah MAYBE THAT mate.

We boda’d back to the hostel and Phil donned up in his gear for a run. Just before heading off, he finally booked himself a spot onto the Kilimanjaro half marathon in Moshi, Tanzania on 1st March. FFS. Better get practicing on my excited supportive girlfriend look then.

Meanwhile I sat in the hostel garden watching videos on how to use Procreate on the iPad. Suddenly realised Phil had been gone AGES and then he rocked up having run like 10 MILES and then said Oh also, I may have tripped over and potentially broken my toe.

He’d taken out his phone to check the map and ended up kicking a bit of metal sticking out of the group, and then he’d fallen over and made a few new cracks on his phone screen (to join the 5 that were already there).

Wicked.

Phil had a quick shower and change while hobbling around on his bad foot (I hear broken toes are brilliant for half marathons), and Esther arrived at the hostel, so we went searching for a restaurant open on a Sunday. After a few fails, we eventually stumbled across a place called Afrika Bite and negotiated the 10k per person meaty Rwandan platter down to 5k each for a vegetarian version for all of us. It was so good! Garlic potatoes, peanut sauce, rice, vegetables, fried banana, salad, plus some ‘fish fingers’ ordered as an extra. Such a welcome relief to eat something local and delicious. Shout out to those who are reading this blog mainly for the food descriptions.

We went back to the hostel to play in East Africa’s 2nd bowling alley (the only other one is in Nairobi!) and Esther made sure she mentioned she had a ‘bad neck’. That would explain her unbelievably bad scoring thats for sure. Ok now to be fair, Phil the physio also advised that she use the heaviest ball available which turned out to be truly awful advise and after a stagnant run of about 2 points in 6 goes, she tried a really light ball - and actually hit some pins! Go Esther.

Can I also mention that this bowling alley had a system where a bloke hidden at the end would organise the pins and reset them for us manually using a kind of lever system. He always managed to move his hands out of the way before the ball struck the pins of course.

Esther headed back to her hotel and we ended up playing basketball on the two hoops game with Desire the manager. Our quick game of ‘How many can you score in 1 minute’ managed to take over our lives for over an hour. My record was 23, Phil’s 24 (he’s taller init) and Desire managed 33 (well, he works there so ya know). Was addictive and super fun and I got the impression Desire will spend the next year working on his pb.

[matthewxdavidson]

Night Before... || Mattcedes

Tagging: Matthew Davidson & Mercedes Jones Where: Mercedes’ room When: July 27, 2019 - Sometime after 1am Notes: none

Matt

Matt asked Blaine to meet with him that night, full knowing he’d not be okay with what’s happening the next day. This year he’d been hit with one blow after the next and his heart and head were tired. He put on the usual charm. Cracked jokes and did what most people have come to expect from him. These faces were well worn and slid on easy but it didn’t mean he wasn’t ready to just set them aside and slip away from the world for awhile. It was well past midnight by this point, Matt unable to hear the sound of music and singing from the room he rented for Mercedes’ bachelorette party. He thought he’d risk seeing her and hope she was in her room and not over at Jackson’s. Or Jackson’s at hers. His hand went up and knocked on her door, hoping this wasn’t some type of mistake.

Mercy 

Mercedes had had fun at the reception dinner and at the at the surprise party, friends and family, everyone came out and she just enjoyed herself.  About 11 she grew tired and knew she needed her rest. So saying goodbye to the girls she made her way back to her room and skype called Jackson like she promised. They had spoken for about 30 minutes when she knew they should both get some sleep. The knock on her door came as a surprise cause she didn't know who would be visiting her the night before her wedding. Opening the door she was shocked to see Matt. "Matt- what are you doing here?"

Matt

He thought he’d be a drunk mess by this point of the night but he was stone cold sober, which was for the best. He smiled and crossed his arms. “What? A guy can’t pay his best friend a late night visit the night before she gets married?” There was a small smile with this. “Can I come in? I promise to be a gentleman to Mr. Snuggles.”

Mercy

"I guess it would depend on why you are here? Why are you here Matt?" She sighed at his question and moved to the side. "What's going on?"

Matt

“Why are you making it seem like I’m here because I’m up to no good?” He looked around and then back to her. “I don’t want to do this out here. I actually have something I want to say.”

Mercy 

"Cause ever since I have known you you have been pretty much up to no good." She teased. Looking at him, she shut the door and wrapped her robe around herself. "Okay...."

Matt

“I have my good moments! This is one of them, I swear.” Matt went into the room and spied the pink and purple zebra. He walked over and picked it up before turning around with it in his hands. “Okay. I got what I came for. Time for me to go back to my room.” He pretended to leave but laughed at himself. Matt sat on the edge of her bed instead and looked at her. “I can’t believe tomorrow is the big day. There have been many times I’ve thought of how this day would go down. Even considered stopping the wedding but I know that won’t go over well. I also know you’ve got some serious feelings for Jack. I can tell with the way you talk about him. This look you get.”

Mercy

Mercedes blocked the door the moment he grabbed Mr. Snuggles. She rolled her eyes with a smiled as he pretended to leave but then sat down. She moved to sit next to him. "Yeah it feels like its been longer than six months. Way longer than six months. So much has happened and I don't really know how to deal with all of them. I mean I thought this would be me and you. We would say a big screw you to my dad and I would be your wife. But stuff happens, people change or want different things, or hurt you. And you just have to adjust." She ran her hands through her hair. "But I do like him, a lot. I still just have so many feelings."

Matt

Matt listened and set the zebra aside so he could take her hand. “Or people are too scared about breaking contract and dealing with not just the fines and jail time but the fall out. At least with this you’ll have a good man and your family. If I’d have gone and married you we’d have each other but your parents would be out of the picture. As crazy and controlling I think your dad is. After seeing how he was at the fire...he loves you too damn much. I think it would break him if you ever broke his heart.” Matt licked his lips and turned his head. He came here to talk about something else and didn’t anticipate this. Tears stung his eyes and he looked away.

Mercy 

Mercedes shook her head. "If he loved me at all he wouldn't have done this. I am all for people getting married but at least let them choose who they want to marry!" She sighted. "And if it was that important for the two to get married they would of. You wanted to Be with El and she was al-" Mercedes stopped herself from continuing. "Sorry, none of that matters. You came to tell me something?"

Matt

He wanted to shake her when it came to Ellie. But she had some sort of selective amnesia when it come to it and would it actually matter? “I swear to fucking God. The next time you bring up Ellie and how I wanted to be with her you won’t hear from me for awhile. Ellie was very aggressive and she basically wore me down and...you’re right. It’s the past. If we’re meant to come back to each other then we will. I just want you happy and not dealing with anything bad.” His hand went through his hair and then he took her hand. “You know I love you, right?”

Mercy 

Mercedes turned to him. "If I am not allowed to say anything else about her then I have to say this. It doesn't matter if she was aggressive, it doesn't matter if its what she wanted. You and I, we had something special. I knew if from the moment you kissed me. It wasn't because you saved my life, or because you were my best friend. It was because you were you. And when I asked you to marry me you said no. And it hurt but I stayed in your life because I got it. But when you came over to my house, and told me you and her were going to be together. That hurt me more than anything ever could. It didn't matter if I was falling for Jack or said we couldn't be anything. It meant you were willing to risk it all to be with her. But not me. Your side is your side but thats all i see when I think about it." She wiped her eyes. "I really do like Jackson, and I am glad that I took the time to get to know him, and that I am marrying someone like him. But I know marrying him means I have to let go of all the past hurt and everything." He took her hand and she nodded. "I know."

Matt

This talk wasn’t going at all as planned and Matt looked at their hands and a few tears actually worked their way down his cheeks. It was a fight he knew he’d have to put behind him. If he wanted to make things work with Bri and for Mercedes to have true happiness then what they had. What they shared. It was just a memory. Something they couldn’t have again. He moved and placed his arms around her, hugging her in a way he knew he wouldn’t be able to after today. “This isn’t what I came to talk about but I know I’m going to miss this part of us. The part that is filled with all the love I have for you.”

Mercy 

She laid on his shoulder and sighed. "I am gonna miss you too. So much. I just had to get that out Matt. Truthfully and in my heart I know you never wanted to hurt me, that you loved me, love me more. But it was weighing on me and now I can forgive it, forgive it and let go. But you have to forgive yourself too. We all make choices and its easy to hold on to the pain, because we feel we deserve it. You don't deserve the pain. You were good to me while we were together, so amazing. And despite how I felt about her and her actions I know El truly loved you. Let go of the pain you have from what happened with us and what happened with you and her.  Let go so you can be happy okay?"

Matt

His hand went to her cheek and Matt’s lips met her forehead. He pressed a firm kiss there and brought his lips to hers and gave her the lightest of kisses. “I will.” His forehead pressed against hers and sighed. “Jesus. I wasn’t planning on coming over and crying but I know this is something we needed.” His hand remained on her cheek and Matt looked at her. At the love of his life. “I want you to have the best future, Mercedes. I want it filled with so much laughter and promise. That you’ll have that future from that dream you told me about.”

Mercy 

Mercedes laughed. Matt kissed her softly and she smiled at him.  "Crying is good for the soul. You are my best friend Matty and I think in order for us to move on from the past then we need to be honest and I am glad that we are being honest  with each other. Glad we are on the same page about that." She sighed. "I want you to have the best future too Matt. All those things you wish for me I wish the same for you." 

Matt

“We’re just going to keep going and going with what we want each other to have.” He brushed her cheek and longed to kiss her again, but he couldn’t. Once was already crossing a line. “Okay.” He moved back but still held her hand. “You know how much my grandmother adored you. How you would hang out. She’d cook and talk to you in the kitchen and always make sure you were invited to everything ala Davidson?”

Mercy 

Mercedes nodded. "I think you and Bri, I think you guy are well on your way." She wiped her eyes and listened to him, she loved his grandmother, the woman always made her feel like family. "Yeah I remember."

Matt

He and Bri could have something great, but he knew a lot of that was being held back due to him and with what happened months ago with the whole Ellie situation. Bri rarely brought it up but it had to have made her think he was incapable of getting his shit together. Then again, that could all be in his head. "When she passed away we each got some things of hers. And there was something she wanted you to have, but only on your wedding day. She-" he paused and closed his eyes as he looked away and said, "she thought you and I were going to get married. She'd talk about you like you were my wife." he laughed and pushed his hand into his pocket. He removed a necklace with a sapphire stone. "It was one of the only pieces of jewelry she owned before my family had money. I updated the chain but the stone is all hers." He brought it out and showed it to her. "I know it'll mean a lot to he if you wore this tomorrow. If you make this your something blue."

Mercy 

Mercedes was surprised that his grandmother left her something but she shouldn't have been. Seeing the necklace brought tears to her eyes all over again. "Oh my Gosh.." She took the necklace in her hand. "I always told her it looked like the necklace from the titanic...and she always said that Rose was a self fool and there was enough room for Jack on the boat. Every time." she laughed. "Matt I cant take this. It belongs in your family. She thought you would give it to your wife. Bri should have it."

Matt

He shook his head and moved so he could put it on her. "She said you. Mercedes. You and she were close and she loved you." He wasn't going to take it back, not when it always belonged to her. "If only there's a way she can see this but I have a feeling she knows." he said after he managed to get the clasp and moved around to see it on her. "I can only imagine how that will look with your dress. It'll probably be eaten by your cleavage. Lets be real."

Mercy 

Matt put the necklace on her neck and she looked down looking at it. "Its so beautiful." She wiped her eyes. "She was the best. I missed her everyday." She looked at him and rolled her eyes. "Had to ruin it didn't you? Couldn't just let me enjoy this moment?"

Matt

"Wouldn't want it any other way," he said with a smirk. "But I'm glad I was able to get that to you tonight. It's kind of why I wanted to know if you'd be with Jack or not. It'd be weird for me to show up and give you a necklace in front of him."

Mercy 

Mercedes sighed. "Yeah, you just missed him though." she said with a smile. "We skyped for a bit before bed." She reached down for the necklace. "This is incredible though. You are so much like her you know that?"

Matt

"I heard she was an absolute horn dog in her day, so yeah. I can see the resemblance." That wasn't true and Mercedes knew it. Matt picked Mr. Snuggles back up and hugged him to his chest. "I'm going to miss these late nights with you. Our talks. The sleepovers. How we'd watch the dumbest movies imaginable and mute them to come up with our own dialogue." He looked down at the zebra and pressed his chin atop his head. "I'd say we're growing up way too fast but I'm thirty and you're an age that's not thirty. I know better than to tell a woman's age."

Mercy 

Mercedes laughed hitting his shoulder softly. "She was not and she made me hit you." Mercedes watched him for a moment. "Look how about once a month we have a sleep over. Like we used too. We can even invite Bri and Jack and it will be like us hanging out 2.0?"

Matt

"An adult sleepover? Sounds like the start to some of the porns I watch." he teased and nodded. "But yeah. If it's something we can do I'm down. I know Bri wouldn't mind it. Still not sure how Jack feels when it comes to me but I hope he comes around at some point and doesn't think I'm trying to come between you."

Mercy 

Mercedes laughed. "It should be fun, at least I think it will and Jack will come around once we are married and he sees you with Bri, when I saw you guys on Monday it was clear you have fun together. He will see that too."

Matt

"I think she's going to start wearing her cold cream ala Mrs Doubtfire. You know, with actual cake frosting." Matt said, laughing. "But yeah. I hope that's what happens. You're too big a part in my life and I can't lose you. I think I might lose my mind if we stop talking." Matt moved Mr. Snuggles away from his chest and he booped her against Mercedes' nose. "Alright. I know you need to get some sleep and I should head back to my room."

Mercy 

"Okay thats cute." She laughed. "Matt you will never lose me we are a packaged deal. Its just weird for him because of you and me and you and El but he will be okay. I think we all will." She laughed at the boop and stood. "Thank you for the talk and for this.."

Matt

"Yeah," he said as he got to his feet and started the walk towards the door. "Good thing you were still up." He reached the door and went to turn the knob but stopped. His tongue went between his teeth and he thought to say something. To tell her to give him a sign if she needed him to stop the wedding. Some sort of way out of the whole thing but what way could there be? They were trapped in these arrangements. He turned around and looked at her. A soft smile spread across his lips and he reached to take hold of her wrist and tugged her to his body again. Matt wrapped her into another hug and he pressed his face into her neck, breathing her in and feeling her warmth against his own. It would be so easy to just undo her robe and kiss her the way he used to but he knew better. He couldn't do that to her. "I love you."

Mercy 

Mercedes sighed and looked over to him as he left, and when he pulled her over to him she hugged him tightly. "I love you too Matty." She held him for another moment, knowing they both needed the hug. "I will see you tomorrow. And thank you, thank you for being her for me." She pulled away from him and smiled. Good night Matt."

Matt

His fingers went through her hair and he brought them down to her chin, giving it a little playful squeeze before smiling, “Good night, Mrs. Pierce. The next time we talk you’ll be a married woman.” He turned around and walked out. As soon as he was a good distance away Matt pressed his back against the wall and let out a shuddering breath. A cry he’d been holding in after he said her new last name slipped out and he silently wept, eventually dragging his forearm across his eyes and collecting himself. He had no fucking idea how he’ll make it through that wedding tomorrow but he’ll do it. 

He’ll do it for her.

[rosyerim]

fwb↠ lovers!yukhei

warnings; obvi sexual stuff, some cursing, 16++!!!

listen i am a HOE for lucas

but lbr so are u 

who isn’t like have you SEEN that man GOD

anywho letzgetit

lucas aka wong yukhei was one of your friends ever since u two got paired up for a presentation in college

super cocky when u approached him first 

u were like

“hi so will we go to yours ?”

he was like

“( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) oh we’re goin to mine huh? that fast u must want me bad( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)“

u just rolled ur eyes and was like

“listen here u damn TREE i meant so we could work on the presentation!!”

he’s like “yea sure whatever u say babe”

so u just rolled ur eyes again and was abt to leave before he grabbed ur hand and was like im jk!! gimme ur number so we can sort out a day

so u do bc i mean who wouldnt give lucas their number

when u get home u already have a message from him

“hey it’s lucas :)”

“lemme know what day suits u, im p much free all week!”

he actually wasn’t free all week but would have cancelled any plans for u in a heartbEAT 

little do u know, homeboy been lowkey crushin’ on you ever since he saw u strut into the same lecture room as him

then u tripped but thats BESIDes tHe poInT

u text back and are like

“i’m free tommorow if that suits u?”

you didn’t expect a text back so quick

you put your phone down for 00.02 seconds before

WHA-PING

its ya boi lucas double texting u

“yeah i’m free haha said i was free all week :)”

“that came off as kinda passive aggressive im sorry thats not what i meant??”

hehehe u just smile to ur self what a cutie

you set up to meet at the campus cafe the next day at like 2pm bc god knows ur ass won’t be up before 1pm

again once u put ur phone down thinking the convo was over

WHA-PING-DING

its lucas again 

“so..what are u doin rn? i’m just workin out haha :)”

wong yukhei rlly out here bein all fuckboyish and shit but u bein ur good, sin free self ignore the DEVILS calling and go do ur own things around the house

ignoring the WHA-PINGS

next day rolls around 

you’re at the cafe like 10 mins early because u didn’t want to b late 

and woahh whose already sitting inside at the corner table w two chairs??

and two steaming cups of coffee??

yeah u guessed it lucASS

looking fine as heLL in literally just a white hoodie??

you know THIS look

that whole ass look

okay stop staring at his beautiful self and go i n s i d e

bby boy does a lil jump of surprise when u walk up he was so immersed in his phone

he was not looking up “how to get someone to like u” fucjakjks

he’s all smiley and is like

“ (✿◠‿◠) i didn’t know what drink u liked so i just got u a coffee, hope its okay(✿◠‿◠)“

ssjdhsjd ofc its okay baby!!

u just nod and say you’ll pay next time

he gets a lil blushy bc your both gone meet up again aw

so you both start working, he has ideas so do you, so you both compromise and wow u two make a great team

at some point the convo turns from school to sharing drunk stories of ur friends

a few coffees & lots of laughing later u suddenly realize its gotten rlly late bc of how dark it is outside!!

cue lucas using this as an opportunity to be all suave & gentlemanly 

“wow it’s gotten late, i’ll walk you home!!” 

so ur both on course to ur apartment 

he tries to be that boy and put his jumper on u because he saw u shiver for 00.001 second

but ur like lol no thanks im not cold

the tips of ears go red & poor bby is embarrassed  so he goes all pouty :((

then u feel bad bc homeboy was jus tryna be nice :((

so u end up wrappin yourself up in it and now hes all :))

now ur all :))) too

when u get to ur apt he kinda awkwardly shuffles outside so u invite him inside so he can “warm up” before he leaves

and whooo did u two “warm up”

he takes a seat on ur sofa & is kinda mindlessly babbling as u put on some music and bring him over a warm drink 

so ur both just sittin there bbq sauce on ya titties

and then its like some sort of sudden tension arises??

he stops babbling and just stares at u 

u stare back, slowly putting down ur drink

then ur leaning in oh so s l o w l y

he places his big ass hand on the side of ur face, eyes hovering from ur lips to ur eyes, asking for permission 

you give him a lil nod and he s w o o p s the fuck in

his plump lips are soft, a lil chapped and the first kiss is tender, he pulls away after a few seconds

he looks at you thru half lidded eyes and oop you pulled him back to ya lips hehe

from there it escalates 

he leans back onto the sofa and pulls you ontop of him, in a straddling position

one of his hands moves from your face down to your waist holding u tightly against while the other is rubbing circles on the exposed skin below your shirt

his tongue pushes past your lips, to meet yours and you thread your fingers through his hair, tugging lightly at the ends

this elicits a deep ass groan outta him and he pulls back suddenly, tilting his head up towards you

you’re slightly panting as you take note of his swollen lips and slight blush dusting his cheeks

he notices the same things about you and smirks before your face back towards him

to ur slight disappointment it’s not as heated as before, just a lil soft kiss and hes pulling away again

ur like 

“<(｀^´)> why’d u stopp <(｀^´)>“

he just chuckles w his deeper than the ocean voice pinches ur cheek lightly

“because as much as i’d like to keep goin, it’s a bit too fast paced don’t you think?”

you flush again as u didn’t even think about what he was feeling and nodded, burying your face into the crook of his neck

but the hypocrisy of this bOY

the next time u two meet up to “work on the project” u end up goin to his place and oop hes got u beneath him on his bed, both of ur shirts on the floor 

his mouth is set on marking your neck, collarbones while his hips are lightly grinding down on you, you feeling his bulge from beneath his tracksuit pants

you wrap you legs around him, pulling him even closer before flipping him over somehow

he’s a lil surprised as you take ur turn to pepper his neck and collarbones w love bites but he’s not complaining as u can tell from his quiet moans beneath you

you make your way lower on his body, stopping just before the waistband of his pants, looking up at him

“can i?”

u ask him first because consent is important kids

he nods so fast ur afraid his head is gona pop off 

you pull his pants & underwear down and wha-ping there he is

you grasp him at the base and lucas throws his head back, almost banging it off his headboard but does he care? nope.

so after ya know, suck the soul out of him

homeboy needs a phat minute to get his breath back

but ur pulling ur top back on, ready to go bc u felt like he woulda kicked u out but nOPE

the second he catches u ready to leave, he grabs u and pulls u back down onto the bed w him

ur like??? but in a good way

he ends up peppering ur face w lots of kisses and u gigglin bc aw

but then the kisses end up getting more heated as he makes his way down ur body, ur shirt leaving u once again, as well as ur pants and oops ur underwear too??

he ends up giving back what he received :)))

after that night, you both agree to keep it casual

basically friends w benefits

lucas loves the idea 

at first

like the thought of him bein’ able to text you whenever he was horny and not block him? great. gettin’ the occasional nude from you during his classes and ending up hard for an hour? not the best, but he’ll take it.

bUT the sight of you coming down off your high that he gave you while still panting his name softly??? 100000% HERE for it

wearing his shirt as you tumble around his bedroom, your neck covered in lovebites from him leaves him 97% soft and 3% sorta kinda horny

but he wants to be able to text you abt how your day was or what you’re doing for the day him or just listen to you rant!! not just when he pops a boner or you’re in the mood

he also wants to experience holding you in his arms, filled with love and not lust, kisses that are just innocent instead of heated 

to wake up to your sleeping face, no matter how funny looking, in the morning instead of an cold, empty space in his bed

but lucas knows you won’t return his feelings so he does his best to hide them (read: fails miserably at hiding his feelings for you)

then you begin to notice subtle changes in his behavior 

he goes from choking you out w a dark look in his eyes to caressing your cheeks w heart eyes in 000.02 seconds

he gives you his shirt to keep even after you leave his apartment and insists on driving you home

he texts you pictures of cute puppies he saw on his way to college instead of his usual boxer pics 

safe to say, u knew wtf was up

but u didn’t want to sound conceited abt knowing lucas liked you, so you didn’t say anything

and you both kept up the facade of hiding your feelings for the other behind by taking your frustration out on each other, sexually

and it stays that way for a while, but lucas was becoming more agitated each night you left and vice versa

until he broke the unspoken rule

neither of you had stayed overnight at the others for fear of having to deal with the truth of your emotions in the morning

but that night as you lay beside him, breathing heavily, the thin covers barely covering your naked bodies, he slipped his hand into yours and pulled you close

and you both lay there for a while, content in each other embraces, listening to each others heartbeats

then, you shifted to move away, to leave another night of unspoken feelings for another day

but he pulled you back and whispered, “stay”

you knew what that meant, you thought it over in your head

if you stayed, you would wake up and finally face the music, finally talk about how much you’ve fallen for him

how much you want to give him kisses all over his face to make him laugh

how you want to go on cute little cafe dates and study dates and dinner dates and basically every kind of date with him

how you want to introduce him to your family as not just your friend, but your boyfriend, your lover

a few moments passed

lucas’ forehead creased slightly in worry

he placed a tender kiss on your knuckles

mumbled a soft “please”

you took a deep breath 

and relaxed against him, letting your eyelids flutter shut as you let sleep overcome you

missing how lucas’ eyes literally shone as he looked down on you

“finally” he whispered against the crown of your head as he placed a kiss there, his grin almost splitting his face in half

he sent a bunch of keyboard smashes into the nct gc later bc he was so happy sjdksjd

and thats how you and wong yukhei fell in love

he also still gets butterflies every time he sees you and screams internally every time u kiss him fucjskjd <33

le fin♡ 

this is my first bullet scenario, hope it was okay (〃▽〃)

[dreammutual-remade]

idol!you and lucas

request: please do a bullet scenario about lucas and his gf both being sm idols - anon

word count: 2.6k 

a/n: first of all,,,, this gif hurts me badly, seCOND OF ALL im so sorry for the inactivity !!  I have finals this week and I graduate really soon n ive just been v busy !!! also I had hella writers block trying to finish this ish up but I hope u like it anon !!!!its a lil hard for me to write as an idol just because thats such a Wildt lifestyle but I did my best ily

warnings: cursing n also some crying because god knows all of our boys prolly have during their idol days :(((((((

what’s up butter cup

let’s dive tf in

as a pre-warning thingy i’m making you a singer so i’m very sorry if you can’t sing i can’t either bby

alright so this story begins when you’re not even 16 years old and you audition for a bunch of companies

tbh you didn’t think you were /that/ good at singing or dancing but ???

all the companies wanted you??? you got offers from JYP and SM and Pledis ????? go off queen

we stan

anyways

you decide to go with SM since they produced leGENDS SHINEE

FUCK I LOVE THOSE GUYS

(binch if u went to JYP u literally could have been in TWICE ?!?/&.&. ABSOLUTE LEGENDS UR LOSS THOT)

also because you just think that’ll be best for you ?? idk we don’t judge here (i already did though i’m So Sorry)

on your first day as a trainee you’re in search of the female dorms and you just can’t find them

eventually you run into this,,,, Gang Of Adolescent Boys

they’re wearing dorky ass muscle tees and keep saying shit about “foreign swaggers”

(.... y’all already know who it is sjdkdkd)

and you’re Meek and New and Small so you’re like um, hellowherearethegirlsdormsplease

okay there’s four of them and they’re all fckin huge except for one

the Biggest One with the american accent points you in the right direction and you try to scurry away but end up smacking into the Second Biggest One’s arm because he moved in your way on accident ouchie

“god lucas why don’t you just run the poor girl over”

“hYUNG PLEASE”

“hehehhehe i’m just kiddin”

and you just kind of mumble that it’s fine and go on your way

okay so you train for three yEARS before your debut

and you def come out of your shell alright like you’re Extroverted and whatnot

you still see those boys and even make friends with mark and donghyuck and the Foreign Members

but the entirety of the group you met has debuted except Lucas

you’re not close but you wave and say hi when you see each other

you turn pink everytime from Emotions and also Holding Your Breathe Due To Anxiety

and he was cute years ago but he’s only gotten prettier with age dude

they recently dyed his hair to give him some Blonde Stuff and he looks reaLLY GOOD

LIKE TO THE POINT WHERE U HAVE TROUBLE LOOKING HIM IN THE EYE

but eventually you’re like hey now i’m a grown woman i can handle this giant childish man !!! quit that @ emotions

alright so you debut like, days before him no lie

you’re a solo artist bc idk

red velvet was full 😔🤟

anyways you’ve been filming the video for the past couple weeks and the concept is sort of filmy and shimmery like old sparkly anime water u kno ?

and you’re wearing similar stuff to what ten was wearing in the new heroes mv (BIG OOF) except less warm toned ?

like swishy sort of see through white shirts and spandex underneath

you’re a Beautiful and Skilled dancer so they have u all over the place with this choreo

on the FLOOR on the WALL in the AIR

no joke they had you in a harness doing cool swirly shit in the air this is the stuff of legends my g

but like the inside of SM ? is very cold

if you’re not filming you’re bundled up in a blanket and trying to rub the goosebumps out of your arms and legs

because you have to look all smooth and flawless for filming and those are two things goosies are not

luckily the song wasn’t a huge ballad because it’s rather hard to belt out long ass notes when you’re upside down lmao

anyways, the song is a bop and the mv is beautiful and you are wearing minimal clothing and although these are all nice things but also

RECIPE FOR DISASTER

the filming is almost done thank GOD

you’re taking a break from filming and you go out in the hall in your costume to go get another water bottle because ain’t nobody around to give a pre debut thot a water bottle 🤧🤧

your arms are wrapped around yourself when lucas jogs up behind you and throws his jacket around you??

literally throws it like you made an oof noise

“um ,? thank you that was aggressive”

“i knOw i’m sorry it’s just you are practically naked and it’s Cold in here and also walking behind you i noticed you were Very Exposed sO”

you turn bright red because that means everyone has seen your ass prolly and you duck your head and pull the jacket tighter around yourself

“oh! i’m sorry i mean you look uhh? really good ?? yeah you look good nOT that i was looking super hard or anything or that i uH saw aNything BUt if i did it would look good i’m sure nOT THAT I thInK about that ?$/&/“

and now you’re both blushing very hard but you feel a little better when you see he’s just as flustered as you

you brush your fingers on his forearm to get him to stop staring at the floor and tell him thanks and ask about when he’s debuting

he tells you the mv filming is done since they had to go Real Far Away to do it and get it done ahead of time and that the teasers will be out in three weeks and then the mv release and then its Show Time Baby

you’re excited for him and he’s excited and you debut really soon as well and he’s excited for you and !!!!!

there’s excitement all over the place

he’s smiling so big and his eyes are cute and crinkly and :(((((

you still got a crush on him /sigh/

one of the staff literally yells your name down the hall and you’re like aw shit that’s my cue lol

you leave him with with a lil squeeze of his bicep and you’re BOTH shook

him because ?? was that fLIRTING

you because ?? THAT WAS FLIRTING

also because his biceps are thicc i’m gonna cry

big baby stands there for like 3 mins just shook and with uwus oozing from his pores

you skrt very quickly to avoid the consequences of your actions and get back to filming

okay TIME SKIP

your mv was released and did GOOD AS FUCK

you didn’t hear it from me but lucas + nct boys were seen on vlive jamming the fuck out to your song

you’re backstage like 10 mins from going on and having an absolute panic attack

what if you trip ??? or your voice breaks !!:&::

what if all the reviews say you’re Trash live and that the mv was better since they edited

what if you FLOP AND HAVE NO FANS

NO ONE DOES THE FANCHANTS

FUCK FUXKFUCKFUXKCUDJ

so you do call the king of debuts

mark lee

and you’re like mARK FUCK IM GOING TO CRASH AND BURN PLEAS LLSSE DHELPD ME

he tells you to Calm The Fuck Down and assures you it’ll be fine but it’s not working and mark is but a young boy he don’t know how to deal with FEMALES

you hear some deep ass voice on the other side ask who’s on the phone and mark says your name and then the voice is closer and deMANDING to be given the phone

u already kno it’s our boy yukhei

he can hear you gasping through the phone and having a mental breakdown and immediately makes his voice all low and soft

wow i’m , affected writing this shit

“hey, y/n, listen to me, you’re okay, you’re fine. i promise it’ll be okay.”

“bUT WHAT IF I-“

“you won’t. you’ve worked too hard and practiced too much. i know you i saw you do it. do NOT let all of that go down the drain. you can do this. now get your cute ass out there and take NO SHIT”

“i know but i am, scared”

“don’t be! this is what you love isnt it?”

“i mean,,,, yeah”

“and you want to do this more than anything don’t you?”

“well , yeah”

“then for gods sake don’t be a wimp and do it”

“hey i miss the part of this conversation where you were being nice to me”

“that part’s over babe you need some TOUGH LOVE now please for me and for yourSELF get out there”

“okay.. thanks lucas”

“anything for you, angel”

yOU HANG UP SO QUICK

how dare he

you were all Comforted but then he went on with that angel bullshit

okay long story short you ended the industry dude

all solo artists BOW BEFORE YOU

VOCAL QUEEN

DANCE QUEEN

lucas: shaking because His Angel did so well and you were wearing white and actually looked like an angel

but you don’t see him for the next like twO MONTHS because he’s promoting boss and you’re promoting your single and neither of you are home ever

when you do get a second to yourself you try to send him an encouraging text but

you seldom get a second to yourself :(((

he does the same thing and they’re so sweet :(

“good morning i hope u slept well !!”

“princess don’t forget 2 hydrate”

“i saw ur mnet performance u looked beautiful <333”

this man is practically begging you to wife him up i mean

he’s cute

he’s BIG and WARM

very sweet to you :(

talented and lovely

absolute dweeb

supportive of you even from great distances

BEST BOY UWU

you try to be just as encouraging back because he deserves it UGH

“bub don’t forget to eat i know ur hungry rn”

“!!!!!! you came foR MY LUNGS WITH THAT CENTER DANCE AT THE END BOI”

“why are u sending me messages u need to rest bby :((“

when things calm down though you,, see each other

he doesn’t formally ask you out and you don’t say anything but, youre dating sort of kind of

as idols you’re both still so so busy and you JUST debuted so neither of you are really allowed to date anyways

you settle for little bits of cuddling and secret touches as you pass each other in the hall

you both stand outside of your respective dorms at night to facetime without waking your dorm mates

he desperately wants to go on dates and do Normal Couple things but there’s no time :(

the most affectionate you’ve ever been is when the girl group who shares a dorm with you was out promoting and you had him over and you took a nap together :((((

he Insisted upon being the big spoon and basically wrapped your whole body up with his limbs

pressed a few lil kisses to the back of your neck and your shoulder when he thought you were asleep

you weren’t though and you turned around to kiss him on the cheek and then tuck your face into his neck and pass tf out

he has to leave though because mark texts him and is like YO I KNO UR WITH Y/N AND HER ROOMMATES ARE ON THE WAY HOME

ABORT MISSION DUDE

and that’s pretty much it :(

months pass without much between you even though you’re trying your best

and even though you live in dorms you’re still so lonely especially when you’re traveling because you don’t have any group members

you don’t want to annoy or worry lucas though so you don’t complain

he notices though and late at night he’ll call you while you’re in bed and talk about his day and how he misses you and wishes you were there

and when you get all emo he says he’ll be waiting for you at the airport

(he really does he goes and hides in the bathroom and texts you so you can go in there and TACKLE HIM)

he still calls you angel all the time :((((

god that’s another weakness of mine ??? IM SUCH A WUSS

but it has specifically changed to “my angel”

uwu

your first kiss and first Real Confession happens on the Worst Day Of Your Life

you’re about to go on stage (you’ve released an album since your debut so this is new stuff) when you get a call from your mom ??

she’s crying and tells you your grandma is sick and in the hospital and it’s really bad

immediately you’re barely holding yourself together because that woman half raised you and was the reason you stayed in dance and worked so hard to become who you are today

there are tears streaming down your face already and the makeup team is fluttering around you trying to fix what you’re messing up and it’s bad

you still have to go on though so you go and perform with tears in your eyes and your manager yells at you after for not pulling it together

you go home in tears and then you’re not looking where you’re going and ran straight into a staff who yells at you some more for being some entitled idol brat

originally you weren’t gonna say anything to lucas but, the staff pushed you over the edge and you call him in tears and are incoherent and can barely tell him where you are before you hang up

our boy BURSTS into your room and sees you sitting on the floor with your face buried in your knees and 🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨 !!

he gathers you in his arms and sits on the bed with you curled up on his lap

he holds you close and rubs a comforting hand up and down your back at the same time as he frantically tries to figure out what’s wrong

“y/n?? baby what’s wrong? angel, please you gotta tell me or i cant help”

“i jjJJUST Got a cALL and my grandMA IS SICK AND THEN I DI D BAD AND DISAPPOINTED EVERYONE AND My mManageR yeYELLED at me and theN I RAN iNtO a staffF meMbEr and he yELled at me too and I JSUT .$:&:&;& i’m sO SORRY u doNT need to deAL WIYH ME you have problems of YouR own and-“

“shhh listen to me i always care about you okay? angel, i want to help you no matter what you know that. also, if you weren’t so distraught i would go beat some SM ass you didn’t deserve to be yelled at :(((( how about we call your mom and check for updates with your grandma and i’ll stay here with you for the night?”

you nod and then reach for your phone while keeping as much physical contact with lucas as possible

he’s the only reason you haven’t reached the Depression Point Of No Return so

we stayin close

you put your mom on speaker and set your phone down before squishing yourself back into his chest and sniffling while the phone rings

your mom answers and you shakily ask for any updates and she tells you not much but your grandma has improved and they think that within a couple weeks she’ll be better

you cry some more and tell her you love them both and you’re so relieved and lucas kisses the crown of your head and is just There For Comforting

once you hang up and you’ve calmed down a little more you back up a little and turn to face him

“hey thank you so much, you didn’t have to come and help me so much but you’ve always been there to make me stop Freaking Out and laugh and i just, love you. yeah that’s what it is. I LOVE YOU I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU, WONG YUKHE-“

he cuts you off by snatching your face in his big warm hands and kissing you right on the lips

he then kisses your nose and your forehead and pulls you back into his lap to tuck you under his chin

“it’s all for you, angel ;)))) i love you more”

[gale-gentlepenguin]

ML dream sage: WHAT THE ACTUAL F*** BRAIN

Previous Dreams: (ML Dream Episode) (My Subconscious is f***ing taunting me) (Because my mind finally wants to be nice) (Yes there is more) (The one with Zag Spoilers) (Cause my mind wants this to be a saga for some reason) (Bustier gets some decent development) (There is a musical number apparently) (Plot twist) (This was more elaborate then I expected) (S*** gets real)

_______________________________________________________________________

-The episode continues EXACTLY where the last dream left off. But now s*** is more intense

-So Paris is getting wrecked in a threeway war between Monarch, Mayura and Miracuteam.

-Scarlet moth is touching all of the Akuma’s Absolute Monarch made and is making a Red copy of them. 

-Mayura is covering Scarletmoth as he does this.

-Absolute Monarch is on the Eiffel Tower and he is watching the chaos unfold. He was shocked to see Scarletmoth. 

-”I broke his back, how the hell is he moving?”

-He thinks about it and realizes it can't possibly be the real Hawkmoth, it has to be some sort of Sentimonster. Damn he picked the wrong miraculous to snatch. He should have picked the Peacock.

-Ladybug and others are fighting and deakumatizing as many people as they can, but the chaos is causing people to be upset or scared and getting reakumatized.

-Madame Booster is still in the apartment. Watching things play out. Hoping that her student would be alright.

-Ladybug and Chat noir make it to where Absolute monarch is. As do Scarlet Moth and Mayura.

-Rena Rouge and Carapace join them and its a 4 v 2 v 1.

-Mayura turns to Ladybug and Chat noir.

-”A truce until Monarch is defeated?”

-Ladybug looks at Mayura.

-”No way.”

-”Ladybug, you, Carapace and Rena take on Mayura and the tomato moth. I will handle Monarch.

-”Chat noir he is way stronger then before. We can't...”

-Chat noir pounces at A. Monarch and Ladybug goes with him. Leaving Rena Rouge and Carapace to fight Mayura and Scarlet moth.

-Carapace pulls the same trick he did in season two and captain America’s Scarlet moth with he shield. and Rena Rouge snatches what appears to be his miraculous... but nothing happens. He didn't change back.

-”What the... This is his miraculous right.”

-Mayura kicks Rena Rouge.

-Carapace is getting attacked by Scarlet moth, and he is out matched. Barely blocking.

-Rena Rouge is doing her best against Mayura but she is to strong.

-Thankfully Ryuuko and Viperion appear and give some much needed back up.

-Viperion activates his second chance power now.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-Chat noir and Ladybug tag team attacking  A.Monarch and are actually pretty even with him.

-Monarch is feeling himself slipping. He feels his vision getting blurry again. He can feel himself fade a bit.

-”Its over Monarch. You can't beat us.”

-Absolute Monarch smiles.

-”Maybe not alone, but I got back up.”

-Volpina and Queen Wasp show up.

-”Sins of the past really are a pain aren't they Ladybug.”

_______________________________________________________________________

-Pegasus, Longhorn (Bull!Ivan), Roi Seige (Kim), Tiger Juleka (who I can't remember the name of ) Pig!Rose, Bunnex, are doing their best to deal with the other akuma.

- There were other visions of the other classmates with their respective hero costumes and it looks reminiscent of a battle in an Avenger’s movie.

______________________________________________________________________

-Madame Booster sees all of the destruction and she rushes off to  the Eiffel Tower to get to Monarch.

-Ladybug is fighting Queen Wasp and Volpina. Monarch was keeping Chat noir from helping.

-Chat noir and Monarch are really having a heated duel and argument. Chat noir screaming how he trusted him. how he thought he had someone in his life that wanted to be a father to him.

-Monarch is feeling some regret.

-”You will understand one day Adrien. But what I am doing is the best for both of us.”

-”You just want the miraculous for your own selfish reasons.”

-” You don't understand. I swear when this is over. You will see it all.”

_______________________________________________________________________

-Ladybug manages to best Volpina by having Queen Wasp sting her by accident, and then casually pushing her off the Eiffel Tower while she was paralyzed. (she is an akuma she will be fine)

-Ladybug then frees Queen wasp, and then present Chloé with the Bee miraculous.

-Chloé promises not to let her down.

_______________________________________________________________________

-Mayura and Sentmonster Scarlet moth are overwhelmed by the hero teens and Viperion uses Second chance enough times to figure out that the person controlling the Amok is very far away. and decides to head over there.

-Fearing that Gabriel would be exposed. Mayura releases the Amok.

- ‘I am sorry.’ She whispers.

-Gabriel realizes that Nathalie basically doomed herself and he tries and fails to get out of the bed (his back is still broken)

-So now Mayura is forced to fight Carapace, Rena Rouge, Ryuuko, and Viperion, all of which have used their power once.

-Mayura calls for a truce. Saying that Absolute Monarch is the bigger threat. Only his minions are left. This gets the teens to agree and they all head with Mayura to fight Absolute Monarch.

_____________________________________________________________________

-So Absolute monarch is now facing pretty much every single hero at this point and Madame booster went to go help him. But she ends up getting deakumatized

-So now he is just Monarch.

-”Its over Monarch.” Ladybug calls out triumphantly.

-Monarch starts laughing.

-”You know. I commend you all for your fantastical battle. But I still have one last trick up my sleeve.”

-He reveals the monocle.

-”Tuxx Slide in!”

-Emperor Monarch is born.

-”I got one final trick. So come at me. All of you!”

-All but Mayura, Ladybug and chat noir charge at him.

-The show reveals what happens when Emperor freezes time with ‘Freeze frame’

-Everyone is frozen on the spot. He snags the miraculous of each person that charged him and proceeds to knock each of them out.

-Leaving a bunch of Knocked out teens on the ground.

-Emperor Holding all of their miraculous.

-He coughs.

-”Come on kids. I got more in me.”

-Mayura, Ladybug and Chat noir all fight him as he puts the miraculouses in his hat.

- a rock version of the the opening theme Is playing

- Mayura starts feeling faint. Emperor monarch capitalizes on it and snatches the peacock.

- “Nathalie!”

-Ladybug and chat noir are the last two left.

-Emperor Monarch fights.

-The two activate their powers, and they use them to actually catch Emperor Monarch off guard. They managed to knock the Butterfly miraculous off of him. So now he was just Emperor. (The butterfly miraculous went flying.)

- Emperor fell to his knees.

-”Looks like I am on my last legs.”

-Ladybug and chat noir do one final charge.

-Emperor does one final Freeze frame.

-When it undoes.

-Ladybug and Chat noir are back to being Marinette and Adrien. And Emperor is back to being arsene. His transformation wore off. His hair was white as snow. The other miraculous fall on the floor.

-Tuxx pops out.

-”Arséne... your hair. Youre out of time. You need to snag their miraculous from them and make the wish”

-Arséne looks at his Kwami and smiles.

-”I wish... I wish for you to be happy.”

-He turns to Adrien and Marinette.

-”I guess this is it.”

-Adrien and Marinette looking at the gentleman as he walked over to the edge of the Eiffel Tower.

-”You win. But It was fun. Really making this a nice final Hurrah. I couldn’t have hoped for a better finale. ”

-He looks at them, with a tenderness of someone that cares for them.

-Marinette and Adrien coming to the conclusion that he didn’t want to win.

-”You two need to watch out for each other. The world is a cruel place. And be sure to live your lives your way. Watch over Tuxx for me.”

-He put his Monocle down.

-”Tell Caline... I am sorry.”

-He fell and as he was falling he was turning to dust.

-I dont know whether this next part was part of the episode, but I swear as he was falling, the Song “My way” By Frank Sinatra was playing and it was showing scenes where Arséne was in. And it was like he was having a slow descent, until the song ended and he was completely dust.

-Tuxx watching, tears in his eyes.

-”Good bye, my friend.”

-Ladybug and Chat noir quickly transform back and Ladybug casts Miraculous healing. Everything was back to the way it was, but Arséne was no where to be seen.

-Oh and also Lila had her hands on the butterfly miraculous that went flying.

and thats where the dream cuts of

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

I did my best to put it in some kind of order but it got messy and I'm helpless about what I should write even after having read the FAQ and more than 20 pages of your posts so bear with me, please. The more I studied the functions, the less I know. So I'm really annoyed when people do things in a certain way because that's how it was done - there's nothing wrong with sticking to tried ways but everyone should think why they do it instead of mindlessly following a set path. (1/???)

A note to readers: if I may ask, please hold back your own sarcasm and such.

I don’t explicitly set a length limit anywhere for asks as most people stop at a fairly reasonable 5 or 6 - I’ve gotten extremely long asks only a few other times and those were mostly overnight for me so I didn’t get to weigh in in medias res, so while this person definitely needs to work on editing there’s some good content. Had there been anything egregiously offensive, ignorant, or annoying I’d have been much more brusque or I’d just have blocked them; this was a genuine misread of the situation. It’s really hard for me to define what’s good to send for typing; it’s very much a case of knowing it when I see it and I know that can be difficult for some people to interpret. Answer is below the jump.

Hi anon,

I may have had some mild fun at your expense; when I see someone is 10 messages deep and talking about Mamma Mia I have to say I have concerns about their ability to decide what is relevant information.

Anyway I’m going to answer this piece by piece. This will not be my, uh, least snarky answer; the cost of doing business of mbti typing with me for no money is that I like to enjoy myself. But I will attempt to also provide a good faith answer as you have some solid examples within all this.

I did my best to put it in some kind of order but it got messy and I'm helpless about what I should write even after having read the FAQ and more than 20 pages of your posts so bear with me, please.

As you can see I will not really bear with you but I do appreciate you doing some research

The more I studied the functions, the less I know. So I'm really annoyed when people do things in a certain way because that's how it was done - there's nothing wrong with sticking to tried ways but everyone should think why they do it instead of mindlessly following a set path. (1/???)

I feel like people use this sort of language to be like “please don’t type me as a high Si user” when in fact this is EXTREMELY high healthy Si user. Thought it could be a lower Si user as well. Anyway, moving on

For example, it's sad how many people believe in God just because thats how they were raised without actually reading the Bible (no hard feelings to believers, I also believe)

I’m...not going to unpack that

I like to speak out loud some ideas with no thoughts of acting on them but some people tend to believe I'm dead set on the idea and it causes some misunderstandings. Also, I have at least 6 back up plans for my future in case some of them won't fly. (2/???)

Here’s the deal when people say they’ve studied EVERYTHING and then ramble on for a long time and can’t type themselves I often suspect the issue isn’t that they don’t know MBTI but that they need to learn themselves. Contingency plans tend to be Ne-Si; speaking out loud with no plans to act is pretty normal.

I plan on going to a country abroad in 2 years from now and I've already made plans what I want to see there. I have a list of places I need to visit arranged in order so I could visit as many places in the most effective way because I don't want to waste my precious time spend there. I also enjoy telling people about my plans of going there as it makes me really excited. The unknown excites me and I enjoy wandering around a city I visit for the first time because I don't know it.

I can’t type off of this specifically yet but it’s interesting because you have extremely detailed plans (more of a sensing thing) but for a trip that I can’t imagine you’ve finalized if it’s that far off.

Wandering around cities is great though, I agree with you there.

I'm also really good at remembering routes and getting to the destination. I like figuring out how to get there.

Maybe immature Si user actually? Getting really indignant about poor use of Si, plus that bit about the bible I said I wouldn’t unpack sounds like it could be as well especially if paired with Fe and/or Christian views of religion.

I'm a bit reserved at first as I need to test the waters before I decide I like someone. It takes me sometime to warm up but I actually enjoy small talk and feel tempted to speak to a cashier at shop or a fellow passenger at bus which isn't as socially acceptable at my country so I don't really do this - I don't want to come across as a weird person but at the same time, (4/???)

I'm not really bothered to play a social game and I often seem to be rude (resting bitch face, actually I'm not judgmental and I'm quite chill about most of things). I know in mbti e vs i isn't perceived in a traditional way but I identify as ambivert as most of people, heh. My introverted friends say I'm an extravert but extraverts find me a quiet girl. I'm also 9w1 if that helps.

Yeah I’m thinking ISFJ now honestly, not wanting to violate social norms, introverted but enjoys small talk, and 9w1 goes with ISFJ a lot.

I've been also always thought to be a smart one who knows a lot of stuff about many things (5/???)

I could say I'm a walking contradiction as I mentioned in my previous post btw I'm sorry I asked you to type me with a vague info, this time I put a lot of effort ♡ Oh god please don’t say you’re a walking contradiction, I truly believe your intentions are good here and I do not hold this against you but that phrase is what guys who think they’re going to make it in a band despite having no talent say in their tinder bios.

At first I was sure I'm Ne/Si but now I see a possibility of being Ni/Se.I often forget what I'm supposed to do as I've just done because I had this super relevant thing to write but I forgot, damn it.

You seem very nice and perhaps just sort of young so I would suggest...writing this in advance instead of stream of consciousness which might help you organize your thoughts and edit yourself a little? I’m writing this response in advance. Like 90% of my answers I write in a Google Doc and then paste it into the Tumblr askbox later. It’s great.

(6/???) I'm getting lost in the numbers

Hard same.

I'm also quite stubborn and I'll study a thing as long as it's needed for me to fully understand it - it drives me crazy when I study for an exam, I ask my friend for help because I don't understand the concept and she tells me I don't need to understand it, I just need to memorize it.

Sounds very much like Ti here, which fits the earlier typing of Fe-user.

I do things for 101% or I don't do it at all.

I’m guilty of saying this too; I think many people see this quality in themselves unfortunately and I’m not sure it ultimately means much.

I also have a friend who helps me to stay grounded as she remembers some stuff for me and I'm pretty sure I'll be lost without her (7/???) I didn't think I wrotesomuch

yeah...about that.

I'm quite oblivious on daily basis, I went through school hallway and didn't notice a big ballot box. I only notice things when i want to and it's not a natural thing for me. But when I do pay attention, I'm sometimes mischievous on purpose and enjoy pushing buttons of others. I work on not doing it, I promiseI have a great talent to focusing on irrelevant things and I struggle to do well in my infp teacher classes - even though I know I need a shitload of details from readings (8/???)

So here’s the thing: I really don’t think you use Ni. First of all, the stream of consciousness thing tends to be something Ni users don’t like to do in my experience: they like to edit. They also just...don’t sound the way you do? Like this is rambly but it’s coherent in a way an INFJ ramble of this nature wouldn’t be. You could be an INTP actually with rigid low Si and Fe instead of immature higher Si though. But I’m pretty confident at this point you use the Fe-Ti and Ne-Si axes.

One thing I do find funny, even though I suppose I set people up for it, is when I get asks that are like “here is the detailed description of when I didn’t notice a detail and here is what I didn’t notice”. Like, we do all miss things and while it’s more common in intuitives, my legally-blind-without-glasses Si-dom mother does this too because she can’t see for shit, so.

to do well in exam, I always choose things that aren't relevant to her. She's an excellent teacher and I enjoy her insights. As for Ni/Se, I'm amazed how many things my peers do without thinking about consequences. For example, I wouldn't drink till I'm unconscious because I know I would upset my parents. I perceived it as ni, might be wrong though.

You are wrong in that this isn’t Ni, it’s called basic self-preservation. I’ve gotten extremely drunk from time to time in my life but I have never gotten drunk to the point of involuntary passing out because that is when you fucking die. Your instincts are correct here, your reasoning about your parents is probably Fe, but your decision itself is not Ni.

(9/???) Now, I'm geniually sorry I wrote so much even though I'm not usually but this case is special

I appreciate the apology but this is something I often observe with people who use Fe: they’ll apologize several timesfor long asks or asks that ignore the FAQ or whatever, but like, they still do it. I’ve had to have this conversation IRL with Fe users actually, of “I’m really not looking for an apology, I’m looking for the thing you’ve apologized for to stop.” That is a whole other post about communication though that I may make tomorrow.

I'm also really into helping others[(what contradicts with my mischief, here we go again (I didn't like the 2nd part of mamma Mia as much as the first - it was too sad, I cried in the cinema and the holiday-happy-vibe was missing, it's off topic, isnt it, the second part is called mamma mia: here we go again and I liked the first part so much I watched it like 20 times and know all the songs by heart)] (10/???)

This was the point where I decided to start fucking with you and to turn off anon, not going to lie, because I hadn’t read the rest but I saw 10/??? after an off-topic post about Mamma Mia and was like “okay we’re going to finish it now”

Anyway from this whole thing I cannot decide if you are an ISFJ or INTP, but I’m going to guess INTP as the 9w1 might be what was making me think high Fe before.