#blue hell dot com

[mal-zoya]

@staff aren't you embarrassed???

[norrington-hell]

reporting/blocking the 196 spambots that have followed me in the past 24 hours like im an 18th century sailor scraping barnacles off the hull of a wooden tall ship with a hammer and chisel

[cosmicvisitor]

Reasons NOT to give up on earthly existence

Music. C'mon. You've got everything from Nine Inch Nails to Lady Gaga to The Beatles to Cocteau Twins to Infected Mushroom, etc. yadda-yadda-yadda. Ever put on your headphones while on the bus and pretend you're in a music video?

Dogs? Dogs.

No, but, seriously. Having an animal companion with a wet nose and wide, innocent eyes is the best. Hell, I'll take scaly with a forked tongue or eight legs and furry. Animals are the best.

Sunsets, but perhaps even better, sunrises. I know waking up early sucks but you've gotta check out the sunrise every now and then. I like to say goodbye to the morning star sometimes.

Food. Last night I had white almond cake with buttercream frosting and it was THE BOMB DOT COM. But also sushi, pizza, poke bowls, vegetable stew? Chicken and dumplings, cheeseburgers, gyoza? Wash your hands, dry them with your feathers, and eat something good.

Going on long car rides with the windows down and the radio cranked up. Go alone. Go with friends. Drive downtown. Drive through the rural hills and valleys. Have a destination. Go everywhere and nowhere in particular. Just get in the car and go.

Self-expression. You can do what you want. Listen to your favorite music, wear jewelry that matches your kintype or socks with your favorite animal on them, paint your nails any color you like - just go crazy. Be yourself.

Sleep. Our strange dreams guide us. There's nothing better than waking up on a cool morning swaddled in a blanket, so comfortable you don't want to move.

The weather. Some days rain falls from a sunny sky. Sometimes purple lightning streaks across the night sky for hours without a single raindrop. Sometimes the sky is a heartbreaking shade of blue, and sometimes, right before a tornado touches down, that sky is a sickly sort of green. Every day is different. No sky is ever painted the same.

[callmearcturus]

I've looked into it and there are archive projects in progress right now for Rooster Teeth.

But this is like my actual nightmare scenario, the idea that literally decades of work can just be deleted from the internet by corporations

I was watching Red vs Blue back when it was on fucking machinima dot com, when you could only watch a few episodes per week bc the hosting was so new that they had to rotate what episodes were available every week. I have very fond memories of watching the Revelations finale with that fucking mic drop ending.

The way media and art is under this threat of impermanence is really terrifying. I'm so glad people have organized a concentrated effort to save it all.

Fucking hell.

[sea-jello]

ANYTHING ABOUT BMCBLR ON THIS BLOG IS ALL IRRELEVANT NOW GO TO @bmcblr-remake

ill keep this post up but anything beyond the line is outdated

-------------------------------------------------

BMC TUMBLR REMAKE (!!PLEASE READ THE WHOLE POST!!)

okaay if youve seen my recent posts youll know that we MIGHT be doing an actual remake of be more chill right here on tumblr dot com! run by me ofc but i might need help down the line so you can sign up for that. its gonna be a completely fan made thing like im talking singing voice acting drawing music editing everything

ive gotten quite a lot of positive reactions to that post so ive made a google form if youre interested in participating! options include major roles minor roles editors artists and more take your pick

if youre not the best at singing then you can sign up for ensemble, for example the bg voices in guy that id kinda be into. no worries at ALL if you cant sing or draw or anything, theres gonna be a speaking ensemble too, for example the overlapping shouting in the smartphone hour. you can pick more than one role, for example ensemble + visuals, cause this is not a very big fandom so we're gonna need duplicates but if you want a major character role i'd prefer if you just stick with that tbh. if you want a major character role you can also pick more than one character! you can specify you want to try for rich, the squip and brooke or whatever. youre not actually auditioning for those roles yet i just need to see if theres enough people to cover every role

EDIT YO GUYS im sorry i forgot but deadline is end of the month! don't worry about timezones, as long as it's april for you you can still sign up. AGAIN I AM JUST CHECKING IF ENOUGH PEOPLE ARE INTERESTED so don't worry if you can't sign up now for whatever reason. you'll get another chance in the future, like an official sign up form. ALSO posts about this would most likely be under the tag #bmcblr remake thank you happistar for coming up with the word bmcblr it's funny as hell

KEEP IN MIND!!! WE ARE NOT FOR SURE DOING THIS I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. again i just need to see if enough people are interested to pull this off. ofc the more who are interested the more likely we would do it. also PLEASE please reblog or interact in some way so the word gets out! remember the more people the better

EDIT AGAIN it looks like we’re doing it! i will have an official blog and a masterpost up on that soon so if you’re still signing up be sure to go look for the forms for the art team, editor gang, music department and the actors on my blog as well

go crazy

im gonna tag the people who already said they were interested i really hope yall dont mind

@stealthkragen @merpiko @finallyheereandqueer @happistar @nezumithewriter @jarofmayonassey @mx-showtime @housebird @thetheatergremlin @celestetcetera @mynameismicah-getitright @william-austin @lohstandfound @lovely-blue-galaxy @genderlesssnake @twoplayergame @h0n3yk1tt3n @thefingerinthemiddle @thesquirrelqueer @tw0-player-game @enamelon @itsjustjo78

oh thats a lot more people than i thought i hope i didnt miss anyone

[radiofreederry]

US Presidents as Dril Tweets

George Washington: another day volunteering at the betsy ross museum. everyone keeps asking me if they can fuck the flag. buddy, they wont even let me fuck it

John Adams: "ah boo hoo hoo i want to post Foul comments to content leaders" Fat Chance, Dimwit. I will annihilate you under bulwark of the Law and God.

Thomas Jefferson: Q: If your post was proven by a counsil of wise men to be racist, or bullshit, would you bar it from the record? A: I do not delete my posts

James Madison: (sniffing a crumpled up one dollar bill i found on the floor of a dog kennel) ah.. thats greenbacks baby

James Monroe: for decades i have traversed the unforgiving mountains and rivers of south america, hoping to catch a glimpse of the fabled "ass downloader"

John Quincy Adams: "This Whole Thing Smacks Of Gender," i holler as i overturn my uncle's barbeque grill and turn the 4th of July into the 4th of Shit

Andrew Jackson: handing Faves over to my enemies is FRAUD !! base, contemptible FRAUD!

Martin Van Buren: Food $200

Data $150

Rent $800

Candles $3,600

Utility $150

someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my family is dying

William Henry Harrison: (spends all of 7 seconds skimming some blog posts) yep. just as i knew all along. having pnuamonia is good

John Tyler: fuck "jokes". everything i tweet is real. raw insight without the horse shit. no, i will NOT follow trolls. twitter dot com. i live for this

James K. Polk: thhere is no such thing as charisma, and art is fake. the only metrics by which we must determine the worth of a man are Strength and Wisdom

Zachary Taylor: the doctor reveals my blood pressure is 420 over 69. i hoot & holler outta the building while a bunch of losers tell me that im dying

Millard Fillmore: trying to heal..... please donate to my go fund me... $10 will make me less racist... $100 will make me extremely less racist...thank you...

Franklin Pierce: blocked. blocked. blocked. youre all blocked. none of you are free of sin

James Buchanan: #NationalGirlfriendDay please cherish your gal's.. in honor of us, the single Boys who must sacrifice all companionship to #CarryTheBrand...

Abraham Lincoln: unloading an entire belt of ammo at me with a minigun or some such device will now get you "Blocked"

Andrew Johnson: who the fuck is scraeming "LOG OFF" at my house. show yourself, coward. i will never log off

Ulysses S. Grant: i regret being tasked the emotional burden of maintaining the final bastion of morality and Nice manners in this endless ocean of human SHIT

Rutherford B. Hayes: using the toilet when i hear Our national anthem start to play. i do what i must. i stand tall in complete agony; as shit runs down my leg,

James A. Garfield: too much truth in such little time. feeling the heat cominh down to silence me... signing off........ for now

Chester A. Arthur: i WILL wise the fuck up. i WILL super charge my content for 2017. i WILL get blue check mark

Grover Cleveland: the way i see it, people who come on here and submit content that is not up to par, could possibly be considered the "Villains" of this site

Benjamin Harrison: i help every body, im not racist, i keep myself nice, and when i ask for a single re-tweet in return i am told to fuck off, fuck myself, etc

William McKinley: boy oh boy do i love purchasing large amounnts of Fool's Gold. wait a minute... fools gold fucking sucks. this stuff is no good..!! Fuck !!!

Theodore Roosevelt: IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL

William H. Taft: ah.. the perfect Souffle! cant wait to dig in to t(*EVERY PIPE IN MY HOUSE EXPLODES AT THE SAME TIME, COVERING ME IN SHIT AND BOILING WATER*

Woodrow Wilson: the conflicted supersoldier stares over the horizon as he smokes a cigarette. "war is the most fucked up thing ever." he takes a sip of beer

Warren G. Harding: somebody please Bribe me

Calvin Coolidge: aggressively joyless oaf hhere. painfully obnoxious respect demander checkign in. extremely dim witted frowning man looking for pals

Herbert Hoover: it is really quite astonishing that I have yet to win The Lottery, given how good I am at selecting six numbers and saying them out loud

Franklin D. Roosevelt: ive never heard of this “europe” but it sounds like a big bunch of shit to me

Harry Truman: everybody wants to be the guy to write the tweet that solves racism once and for all because it would look good as hell on a resume

Dwight D. Eisenhower: my "F*&k It!! Let's Go Golfin" t-shirt maintains a tenacious stranglehold on my life. after 1,125 days of Golf my body is twisted, deformed

John F. Kennedy: when you do sutuff like... shoot my jaw clean off of my face with a sniper rifle, it mostly reflects poorly on your self

Lyndon B. Johnson: incredibly handsome , charismatic famous boy credited with ending income inequality after saying that slumlords should be called "dumblords"

Richard Nixon: i attribute the complete failure of my brand to the actions of detractors, oor my “trolls”, as it were, as well as my own constant fuckups

Gerald Ford: shutting computer down until the shitty moods & attitudes can fuck off., if you need me ill be on my other computer, sititng 60° to my right

Jimmy Carter: i warnned you all that bad things would happen if you kept letting your wives wear jeans. AND NOW LOOK! the damn gas prices are up again

Ronald Reagan: spend a lot of time thinking about how sometimes even war criminals can be heroes sometimes... Dont like it? Click the unfollow buttobn

George H.W. Bush: just thought off an idea i believe to be bad ass. lets find the address of the leader of isis, and mail him/ her pieces of our SHIT

Bill Clinton: were at the point now, that when i offer to impregnate my girl followers, people assume my motives are sexual. disgusting, grow the fuck up,

George W. Bush: friday night gathering up together a big pile of things i like to respect (flags, crucifixes ,etc) and just roll around in it ,give kisses,

Barack Obama: my IQ has increased 10 points ever since i stopped tollerating people mucking about, on the time line

Donald Trump: THERAPIST: your problem is, that youre perfect, and everyone is jealous of your good posts, and that makes you rightfully upset.

ME: I agree

Joe Biden: I will shut the fuck up , IF , it will restore the Harmony. I will get on my knees like a dog and make that sacrifice, for the sake of Calm

[cock-holliday]

Hi if you still believe that russia sent covert operatives into the trenches of tumblr dot com to sow discord by *checks notes* saying “incrementalism is sometimes wildly dangerous because of how it convinces people the fight is over” or “being told I should feel grateful for meaningless change because it could be worse makes me angry as hell” and think this is actually a masterclass in subliminal messaging to convince you, our lone hero, to not Vote Blue No Matter Who and save the world…then like…you’re stupid as fuck

[dromaeo-sauridae]

that post is gonna haunt me and i dont wanna delete it cuz once in a blue moon someone says something cool as hell on it but i truly dgaf you could have the most badass fantasy story in the world but if you have a blue sky and trees made of wood im already tired of it. are youre trees mobile? yes? ok. are they made of keratin and are their leaves full of blood? yes? THERE WE FUCKING GO BAYBEE. THATS WHAT IM TALKIN ABOUT. get outta here. if your world isnt so cold that you have deadly cryovolcanoes then im tapped out. if your world has mammals idgaf. brother you dont have to make it make sense. make everything a worm except your main characters. go to nasa dot com and fall into a rabbit hole for 4 hours. find a niche scientific paper on christmas tree worms. the realm of possibilities is infinite you just gotta get a lil weird with it

[fragilecapric0rnn]

🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love

thank you for the ask mj!!!!

gotta show some love to my boys

@cheatghost's Crash has been my most recent read and it GOD OH GOD it's so fucking good. anything louseph writes is just 10/10 knocks it out of the park every time!

@judasofsuburbia's get up and shake the glitter off your clothes A CLASSIC would own this as a penguin cover classic on my bookshelf (hell i might even make one for it now that i think abt it.....) just mutual pining at it's best, accidentally married!!! in vegas!!!! my heart swoons for it still!!!!

@fastcardotmp3's halfway to home - a gorgeous Stonathan piece written by the incredibly talented Dot! it deals with themes of grieving and healing and reconnecting (anyone who knows me knows i am a SLUT for a reconnecting fic!!!) and it is just so so beautiful!

@kkpwnall's tell me something (give me hope for the night) - speaking of my love for reconnecting/second chance romances. THIS FIC. GAHHHH it cured my Holiday Blues, written with so much love and care by the talented KK!!!! the perfect Steve-voice, perfectly encapsulating the feelings of nostalgia and that perfect era of rom-coms at their finest! so so goooood!!!!

and another fic that literally altered my brain chemistry was @roguenancy's What Water Gives, It Takes Away - a beautiful Nancy character study! Blake is a wonderful writer and I think everyone should give this fic a read!!

Writers Truth & Dare Ask Game

[skeletood]

I hate making these shits into long reblog chains so I'll do it here bc hell yeah I'll participate in these.

Thanks for the tag @z0mbie-bab3zzz u a real one (wonderful mutual)

1. Are you named after anyone?

Nope! I used to be though.

2. Last time you cried?

My memory is so shit it coulda been last week or two months ago.

3. Do you want kids?

Not even a little bit.

4. Sports?

I used to but now I just go to the gym. idk if that counts

5. Do you use sarcasm?

Yes. But i try not to use it for evil purposes☝️ just dry humor

6. First thing you notice about people?

Shit idk. Usually like clothes and how they style themselves bc I just think that people are so fun and unique lookin.

7. Eye color?

I got big ol baby blues

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Both are good! Nothing that's purely for shock tho

9. Any talents?

Uh. Drawing? I think that's it. I kick ass at mario kart and that's like my only party trick

10. Hobbies?

Drawing, gaming, and very verrrry rarely writing. It's more like text rp than like actual writing though.

11. Do you have any pets?

I have an old ass tabby cat that I've had since I was like 6. I took him from my parents house because they made him stay outside and I thought that was unfair.

12. Favorite school subject

I really liked bio and chem, especially when they were taught slow enough for me to understand.

13. Dream job?

I want to make practical effects for movie/theatre productions or support myself on freelance art. I have absolutely no concrete plans for this though.

Gotta tag my usuals @poonking @dismassacre @pancake-bun @futurama @robothell @calippy @pinkcalamawham @horrorsequel

Have fun babes, talk about yourselves freely on our tumblr dot com <3

[mal-zoya]

EXCUSE ME???? WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK SHIT IS THIS?????

IF I WANTED TO BE ON TWITTER I WOULD BE ON TWITTER

[sonicenvy]

So I was poking around through my followers list and I noticed that there are a few of you who have no title, no profile picture, no custom site and no bio who do have enough likes to make me think you might be a real person and not a bot. If you are indeed a real person, please read this post.

If I click on you and your blog looks like this:

you look like a bot, yes even if you have a substantial amount of likes.

It is very easy to make yourself look human, and because I'm feeling helpful and chatty today, I'm going to show you how to do that, with screenshots. I even went on this site in safari where I don't have dashboardunfucker set up to take these screenshots, so you know I'm feeling good today.

Step 1:

In your sidebar go to "account" highlighted in blue below:

Step 2:

Select your blog in the drop down. (There are a bunch of blogs on mine because I have multiple junk side blogs.) For the purpose of this exercise I made a brand new blank one called imtotallyabot56789.

Step 3:

Go to "blog settings" in the right hand sidebar. This will take you to a new page.

Step 4:

On that new page, select "edit appearance".

Step 5:

Get to editing! I've highlighted for you the 4 most important things you need to change to not be a bot.

Those things are:

your icon

your header

your title & bio

you banner/bio colors

Some notes:

Your banner can be a .gif, a .png or a .jpg. It is best at a 16:9 ratio. I can't remember how big mine was, but a little bit bigger is better so that it displays decently on desktop and on mobile.

Your icon/profile picture should be a square. I think it displays at 128x128, but I don't know for sure. Use a bigger image than that though. Mine is apparently 886x886 at 72 ppi. Don't pick a photo of yourself unless there's something interesting about it (ie: you're in cosplay or something) because a regularass photo of a person looks like a bot as well. If you don't know what to pick, you can head over to picrew and use an icon generator there to create an icon. There are a lot of fun options. If you want to design your own and don't have photoshop or something like that, check out photopea which is an in browser photoshop clone. Have fun with this -- pick a character you like or a pretty image. Like whatever you want just don't stick with the default one. Use either a jpg or a png.

Your title doesn't have to be that deep. Or descriptive. A lot of people use lines from books, music, poetry, tv or movies for theirs. Mine is related to Elizabeth Warren ("Nevertheless She Persisted"). I've previously used "Death Cannot Stop True Love" and "This could be a little more sonic"

Your bio also doesn't have to be long or, like describe anything super detailed about you. The beauty of tumblr dot hell is that it is one of the more anonymous social media sites out on the internet. You could literally just put something like "Fandom Lurker". Just have something.

The banner/bio colors just change the color of the border around your header image/icon "background" and the accent color.

Step 6:

Some additional basic (optional) things to do:

Enable "Custom Theme". This gives you an actual website rather than the dumb little tumblr dot com/blog/yourblognamehere thing that you get by default. The advantages to having an actual yourblognamehere dot tumblr dot com website are numerous. I made a whole post about that with instructions on how to do that. (note that the screenshots in that post were made before the tumblr layout change that was tumblr staff copying twitter's homework). A big benefit to having your own site is that it is easier to find tagged posts on a site because the default search that tumblr has on the /blog/yourblognamehere thing is hot flaming garbage and pulls posts that don't have that tag whilst also missing ones that do. with a yourblognamehere dot tumblr dot com site you can simply go to yourblognamehere(dot)tumblr(dot)com/tagged/mycooltag and see all the tagged posts. Dooo this. you know you want to doooo this.

2. Open your ask box and turn off tumblr affiliate links. Asks can be fun. They can also be terrible. You can always turn them off later if you decide that people are being mean to you. Personally I have not had that problem in the 12 years I've been here. Maybe it's just the relative obscurity of this blog? who knows. glad for that though.

3. Add some featured tags.

This is a newer setting but I think it's fun. If you make posts (or reblog lots of posts) you can add a few tags that you use very often to this as little shortcuts for people visiting your blog.

Whew! That's all for today folks! Thanks for coming to my tumblr how to for newbies talk. I'll probably post another tumblr for newbies chat at some point.

with love and light,

💚 your local internet crazy lady slash tumblr oldtimer

Be kind to yourself and someone else today!

[frogmanfae]

Newsies as things that happened at band camp part 7

Jojo: Why do you have a tub of Vaseline?

Elmer: It's Buttons's I'm babysitting during the parade block

Jojo: ...what-

Elmer: Its name is Velociraptor

Crutchie: So remember that girl who told Jack he's her second choice?

Davey: Yeah?

Crutchie: Yeah he went after toxic girl and now he's sad

Davey: Damn it

Romeo: I was famous on wattpad for like 2 years and then they took all them down and I sent email after email to get them to put it back up to no avail! My books had like 100k reads!

Davey: *silently has 500k reads on his wattpad books and people are still reading them despite not updating anything in over a year because he transferred to ao3 and completely abandoned all of his wattpad book ideas*

Jack: *sticks his hand in Davey's drum while hes wearing it*

Davey: ...Thats violating-

Davey: *going through the band room like a tornado knocking shit down with his drums* First lesson of quadding, if you knock it down that's their problem

Albert: In sixth grade I wrote my narrative writing to be like a whole notebook thick and it was actually just a FNAF novel that turned out to be canonically accurate, for some fucking reason

Albert: *asks Spot to play something on his snare*

Spot: *plays it*

Albert: Okay that's like I thought

Spot: *keeps playing*

Albert: Okay you can stop

Spot: *keeps playing*

Albert: Please it's 8:30 am

Jojo: How is summer almost over

Specs: Shhh

Jojo: We don't even get 104 days of it. Where the fuck do Phineas and Ferb go?

Race: There's nothing fresh about those air fresheners on your drum they've been there since before freshman year

Spot: leave them alone! They're vintage!

Jack: Those saw the declaration of independence get signed

Race: He got them way over four score and seven years ago

Davey: That class roster is the nightmare blunt rotation if I've ever seen it

Jack: I'd smoke a joint with them. Would I be happy? Probably not. But I'd still do it

Race: This might be the ADHD or the potential autism but have you ever thought about how colors aren't real?

Albert: Please stop it is 8:45 am

Denton: If we had to do push ups every time we made a mistake we'd have a BUFF band... Love you guys

Sarah: At least you have a chair

Davey: I do not??

Sarah: You have a drum

Davey: Thats not a chair!

Sarah: Don't you sit on it?

Davey: ...Occasionally

Spot: We should just sit on our drums in protest

Davey: Yeah! Just like those... Um... The things...

Spot: ...Sit ins?

Davey: Yes! Those!! I'm on new medication I can't-

Jack: Got a secret

Jack: Can ya keep it

Jack: Takin this one to the grave

Jack: Better lock it

Jack: In your pocket

Crutchie: It's not even 9:45 in the goddamn morning shut the fuck up

Race and Elmer: *saying the lyrics of Posituvity from the Little Mermaid Broadway show like it's slam poetry*

Race: *at the football team* look they all got fat booties

Romeo: Girls if you don't have a date to homecoming, hit me up. Cuz I'm the bomb dot com

Buttons: *about a peanut m&m on the stairs* thats a hazard

Spot: I am going to stick my foot so far up all 3 of your asses-

Race: Ew you got the root beer popsicle?

Albert: What's wrong with root beer?

Buttons: It's root beer!

Race: It's inferior to frooty flavors!

Albert: Oh of course YOU would think that

Race: call me a fag why don't ya

Elmer: *licks popsicle* Ewww...

Buttons: Why'd you get root beer??

Elmer: *crying* I thought it was chocolate!

Jack: Oh so i was looking at pictures of my family and apparently my great grandfather, my dads grandfather on his dad's side, we WHITE. Like WHITE white. Like, blonde hair blue eyes, Hitler's wet dream-

Race: so what happened to you?

Jack: I'm thinkin he had an affair with your great grandma or somethin cuz he sure as hell ain't related to me

Albert: all the Reddit people went to tumblr

Jack: Whats tumblr?

Race: That one cite that banned porn and then everyone got mad and moved to twitter

Davey: And then everyone got mad at Twitter and moved back to tumblr

Spot: *angrily* I just got called a freshman

Race: Ha loser-

Spot: *punches him*

Albert, Race, Elmer, Spot, Sarah, Katherine, Jack, Davey, and Crutchie: *sitting in a circle around the stairs*

Buttons, trying to get up the stairs: what are you-

Albert and Race: *locking freshman in the practice rooms*

Elmer: *the freshman locked in the practice room*

Finch: *looks at Elmer through the window and just shakes his head and keeps walking*

Elmer: *presses his hand against the glass sadly*

Sarah: In the best possible way, your shirt is giving Monster High

Race: Coming from a queer woman, thats the best thing I could have heard, thank you

Denton: You're starting to sound like sick cats at measure 27 *Sick cat imitation*

Denton: Okay flutes and clarinets measure 34

Elmer and Specs: *whines of absolute suffering*

Denton: *clap clap clap clap* *pause* horns up! Sorry I was late, thats on me

Albert: He's finishing his donuts!

Denton: Hey! That is an orange peanut butter cracker!

Albert: Oh my b my b

Race: Do you have tape

Denton: ...Why?

Race: My trombone broke

Denton: how did your- *sighs* yeah. I have tape.

Finch: they're performing open valve surgery

Buttons: Oh my God is everything okay??

Finch: Trumpet valve, not heart valve.

Davey: *drops drumstick and stares at it defeatedly for 15 seconds before picking it up*

Katherine: That thing ran on miracles and duct tape

Jack: *starts playing Mary Had a Little Lamb on the quads (the beginning to a certain drum cadence)*

Spot: NO!

Davey: SHUT UP

Davey: SHUT THE FUCK UP

Albert: STOP

Race: The gray hairs come in and it's just game over

Spot: No random tapping, drums. NO RANDOM TAPPING, DRUMS!

Denton: ...do you want to play Jig II? It's your call, youre the one who has to play the solo in it

Davey: I don't really care

Denton: Alright let's play it then

Davey: UGHHHHH *sobbing*

Race: Popsicles are probably the #1 food to eat seductively

Romeo: Thats funny because I was reading a fic one time and the one guy was about to suck the other guys dick but he had never sucked dick before so he just looked at it and went "... Like a popsicle?"

Race: Why the fuck are you reading that kind of- aren't you asexual??

[heymickie]

𝗳𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗼𝗺: teenage mutant ninja turtles 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀: tmnt (ft. april & casey) 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱𝘀: 1447 🐭: so originally i posted this on my birthday (march 6th), but i ended up editing it. loosely based on an idea i had on my old account @littlefanscribbles-blog. 𝘁𝘄: mention of death 𝗽𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝗺𝘆 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗿𝗱 𝗯𝗲𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶 𝗱𝗼 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗴𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗺𝗶𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗼 𝗿𝗲-𝗽𝗼𝘀𝘁/𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗺𝘆 𝘀𝘁𝘂𝗳𝗳 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗿𝗱 ʚ🍓ɞ 𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗸𝘁𝗿𝗲𝗲

𝗣𝗔𝗥𝗧 𝗢𝗡𝗘: 𝗙𝗜𝗡𝗗𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗛𝗔𝗧𝗖𝗛𝗟𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦 𝗙𝗙𝗡 ʚ🍓ɞ 𝗔𝗢𝟯

“Just go in, cause hell, and get out,” a man with long dark hair said, looking at the map of the large building that seemed to ever be looming over the city. Covering the city in a dark shadow that only he and his friends seem to notice. He cracked his knuckles, looking over at his redheaded wife before looking back at the large computer with the map of the lab laid out. He watched as four dots blinked to indicate their friends’ location.

“That’s the plan, moron,” a gruff voice sounded. Casey didn’t need to even look at the computer to know that was the voice of the red-cladded terrapin.

“Yeah, but with you four it’s never quite that easy,” Casey responded before his wife nudged him, handing over the one-year-old that was in her hands.

“Too much chatter over the air wave,” the blue leader responded, April watched as the orange and purple dot went into a room. The blue and red dot stood in the hallway. April was the one that got intel about Stockman using the turtles’ DNA, she did trust the source, but she couldn’t trust that Stockman or the Shredder wasn’t ready for the turtles. She wished she could be more help, but it was hard with a bump and a child in toll.

“Okay, the fire wall shouldn’t be too hard to bypass,” Donnie informed, sitting down at the large computer to erase any mention of their DNA while Michelangelo occupied himself in the lab. “Don’t touch anything,” Donatello warned, cracking his knuckles before Mikey heard the clicking-clacking of the keyboard. Mikey looked around the stark white room, for once, he was ignoring the liquid of what would most definitely kill him. The orange turtle came to a stop when he saw four tubes. Under each tube was the name of each turtle and a number.

“Uh, Don,” Mikey called, rubbing at the fogged up glass of one of the tubes to see a human-sized baby turtle floating in some weird green goo. It wasn’t like the ooze that made them who they are, it was different. “I think I found what we’re looking for!”

“We’re in!” Donatello cheered quietly, not hearing his little brother. He opened up the needed files, blinking. “Wait,” Donnie frowned, his eyes scanning the data, he almost didn’t hear Mikey walk up to him.

“You guys need to see this,” Mikey repeated, trying to nudge Donnie away from the computer. Donnie tried to shoo him off, his eyes not leaving the reports he found. He couldn’t risk misunderstanding any of this.

“See what?” A pair of voices said, one being their favorite redheaded human and the other being the oldest brother. Mikey groaned, yanking the lab chair and turned it around to force his brother to look at the four tubes. Donnie got up, wiping at the remaining three tubes to see that each tube contained a small turtle babe. “What’s going on?” Leo questioned, his voice almost lowering an octave.

“You guys might want to come in here,” Donnie pulled out his turtle phone and scanned the tubes, sending the image and the data back to his computer at home. He could hear April gasp over the com. She wasn’t quite expecting children to be involved when her source told her about the stolen DNA. April was sure this was the exact reason her source had told her.

“Is that what I think it is?” April asked, “they made children?” She stared at the image sent to her. Leonardo walked their way, stopping beside his younger brothers. Raphael stayed near the door to keep a close watch, not exactly trusting himself around children.

“Yeah,” Donnie responded, “these four are the last of what they had of our DNA.” He stepped back, rushing back to the computer. “What started off as a cloning experiment turned into direct reproduction,” he looked over at his brothers and saw a few confused faces turn his way. “They are half ours,” he explained simply, “think of it like Superman and the first Superboy,” only Mikey seemed to understand that reference.

Leonard walked forward, stopping in front of the tube. Leonardo - #12. Twelve child experiments. His gut clenched. This was wrong. Knowing the Foot and Stockman, he didn’t have to guess what happened to the other eleven experiments, if they were still around. “These aren’t the only ones,” Leo added quietly, his throat felt like it was closing at the mere thought.

“There’s the number nineteen by my name,” Mikey said, stepping behind Leo. His voice sounded like he was in pain. Raph never left the door, trying to wrap his head around it all. “That’s so many kids,” Mikey almost squeaked, turning to face Donnie. Donatello sighed, placing his USB drive into the computer to copy the data. “Where are they, Don? Does it say?” Mikey’s voice almost sounded like he was begging, the face Donnie made was telling him the exact opposite of what the youngest turtle wanted to hear.

“All the previous experiments either died or were killed,” Donnie closed his eyes for a moment, not wanting to look at his baby brother when given the news. The number on the plaque doesn’t even include the five clones they tried to make. Each and every experiment started off as eggs, and after they were hatched they were all forced to age up, if Shredder or Stockman didn’t find something defective with them. The aging process killed the ones that Shredder and Stockman found suitable. “They are going to force these four to age up, and it’s going to kill them,” he finally opened his eyes, glancing at the data he had just read.

“Let them die,” Raph called out, glancing out of the hallway. “Do you see anyone coming, April?” This was meant to be an easy mission. Fuck Casey for jinxing this. 

“I’m still here,” April looked at the computer screen, wiping away tears that surfaced. “Five, third floor but coming up,” she cleared her throat as she held her stomach before glancing at the sleeping ginger in her husband’s arm. April knew she was being emotional, but she couldn’t help but feel sad for all those lost hatchlings.

“Let's clear this shit, destroy the work, and get the fuck out of here!” Raph called to Leo.

“We can’t just let them die!” Mikey yelled, “You heard Donnie! They are basically our kids!”

“I don’t remember fucking another turtle! Do you?” Raphael growled out, rolling his eyes when Mikey turned to Leo.

“Leo, if we keep them here they will either die,” Donnie stated clearly, taking out his USB and sending his virus to shut down the computer for good. “The stress on their bodies from the aging machines will kill them, and that is if Stockman or Shredder doesn’t find something wrong with them first.” He stepped forward to the tube with his name, “This is just stasis ooze, we can get them out and move them safely.”  Raphael rolled his eyes, closing the door when April warned them they only have a couple more floors before the goons find them. 

“We don’t have time for this!”

“Raph!” Leo called out, trying to quiet his brother so he could think about this. He looked at his brothers, his wide blue eyes taking in the faces of each brother. Mikey was pleading. Donnie looked like he was trying to let Leo decide, but he didn’t look away from his pod. Raphael looked… Scared. “Mikey, find something to put the babies in! Donnie, shut down stasis!” Before Raph could protest, Leo sent his brother a glare. He knew very well that if they let these four die, that it would eat at each one of them. Even if Raphael was hiding behind his facade. It would be different if they were still eggs, but they’re not. They’re here. Alive. “Just watch the door,” Leo commanded, grabbing the baby in his tube once Donnie shut down the stasis. Mikey ran to Leo with four cloth lab coats to wrap the babies in.

“We can’t fight with kids on our back,” Raph reminded, pulling out his sais as the footsteps got closer.

“No,” Leo pulled out his swords, “but we can.” He let Mikey and Donnie handle the babies.

“I can lead you to the exit,” a relieved voice said over the radio, the boys almost forgot April was still in their ear. Casey stood beside her, rubbing her back with his free hand as he held their son.

“You’re a doll!” Mikey replied, holding the box while Donnie put in the last child. “We got them, let's go!”

[alwayscryingoverdannyb]

Fandom Peeps to Get to Know Better

Thank you @fishylife for tagging me, I really enjoy the occasional tag game :33

3 Ships You Like: this is in no particular order but I tried to make them as different as possible, cover the whole shipping intensity spectrum :D - Destiel (the ultimate ship. even when there's nothing left on earth anymore there will be them and their love.) - Adoribull (polarizing and contrary to popular belief very wholesome) - Cullen x Dorian (very low-key to me bc I absolutely understand how people just don't see it happening. I don't see it happening in the game but this ship made me read AND LOVE alternate universe fics so.)

First Ship Ever: Destiel I guess??? SPN was my one-way ticket to the hell hole that is tumblr dot com.

Last Song You Heard: Love You Forever - it's from Liam Gallagher's new album he made with John Squire and I am in LOV

Favourite Childhood Book: oh HP books for sure. I don't think I've really read anything else as a kid - that and Eragon.

Currently Reading: In adulthood I discovered audiobooks and how much better they work for me so I'm currently listening to Dune :))) so that I can finally watch the first movie and then go see the second one in the movie theater if god willing

Currently Watching: nothing. but after what feels like AGES I've watched an actual movie. a movie I haven't seen yet. watched it on my own, too!! It was Red, White and Royal Blue and it's basically a fairytale but it's a great movie with witty dialogue, interesting side characters and good acting. I had fun 10/10 (also, I felt like they really did it justice in terms of equality with het romcoms. kudos!)

Currently Consuming: work. I have a lot of work rn. it's 10:30pm and I'm leaving work after I finish typing this.

Currently Craving: I already had cake so I'm craving only SLEEP.

Tagging: @tedkordisanasshole, @dulciecollins @teddy-after-all and @lennonyoung if you're feeling like it ♥

[muckmage]

In the not-too-distant future Next Sunday A.D. There was a gal named muckmage Not too different from you or me

He blogged on tumblr dot com Just another post on this blue hellsite she did a good job in this silly place But their anons really liked him so they shot her into space!

"We'll send them stuff from homestuck! The weirdest we can find! (la la la) She'll have to sit and read it all And we'll monitor his mind!" (la la la)

If you're wondering how she eats and breathes And other science facts (la la la) Then repeat to yourself, "It's just a blog I should really just relax"

For mystery homestuck theater 3000!

this is like some twisted version of hell