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[anygolds]

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[uwurakax]

thank you tiktok for this thought, you are very much appreciated 💕

(obviously had to stick w my man bc like who else am i gonna be down bad for as much as him ykyk?)

but thinking about villain!oikawa and hero!reader:

you and oikawa at always at each others throats, basically the physical embodiment of "fighting like cats and dogs". he alludes you at every turn, laughing at your incompetence.

"is this who they send? how pitiful, don't make me laugh!"

yet despite how at odds you are with him, and regardless of how injured or hurt you get due to his antics, you're never really in any life threatening danger - at least not when he knows you can save yourself.

you hadn't fully recovered the last time you fought, body aching and still a bit sluggish, no where near how you would normally be on your rendezvous with him.

it doesn't take long for you to, in layman's terms, get your ass kicked. hauled through concrete walls of a decaying building, you find yourself trapped under the rubble. too exhausted and drained to move. in your peak physicality, you would've been able to. it doesn't take long for the already broken building to start crumbling down, and no matter how much you want to live, you've known your entire life this was a possibility.

dying a heroic death, fighting against evil seemed honourable.

so you close your eyes and resign yourself to fate...

until he shows up and in a blink of an eye, saves you.

you didn't know what to do after that, constantly thinking about why oikawa decided to save you from impending doom. the opportunity to dispose of his arch-nemesis and get away with, well anything he wanted, and yet...

you decide to lay low for a while, not only needing to start recovery, once again, but to take a break from.. well.. everything.

'it'll be nice to be normal for once, in forever' you think to yourself.

so after resting for a week, you head off for some much needed retail therapy. clothes, shoes, bags, jewellery. you hadn't treated yourself in such a long time, and being a hero sure had its perks; i.e the massive paycheck you receive.

you've already shopped for a little over an hour before a certain store catches your eye. mainly the mannequin wearing a beautiful satin blue, drawstring dress. you head inside, eager to at least try it on. it looked so beautiful in the window display after all!

you found the dress in your size on the rack rather quickly, practically skipping to the change rooms.

who knows, maybe you'd get lucky; your friends always did try to hassle you into going out with them, so who knows?

it didn't take long before the dress sat on your figure, hugging your curves in all the right places. but then the issues arose.

'it's way too short!' you tried pushing the dress down to no avail.

'it's too tight up on the chest' you tried adjusting and pulling on the straps, but it didn't make a difference.

you were grumbling to yourself, upset that you got excited over a dud.

taking one last look in the mirror, you turned around and you knew you definitely couldn't wear this out in public at all. the backside was shorter than the front which was awful, and you didn't realise how much of your back was exposed.

at least you tried it on, but this outfit was much too sexy for your taste.

you were about to take off the dress, hand on one of the sleeves before you heard the speaker in the store go off,

"go outside, now. or i'll blow up this entire street kay?~"

you could recognise his voice anywhere. what the hell was he doing here?! how did he even-?!

you were on autopilot, grabbing a hold of your oversized jumper to cover yourself. you had to hurry before he hurt anyone!

you were running out of the dressing room, attempting to put the jumper on before you heard the speaker go off again

"nuh uh, don't you dare put that on~"

[henrywintersdearestgirl]

For drabble, would it inspire you to write about a date or vacation with Henry? I’m obsessed with Henry being sweet behind closed doors 💕

Thank you for requesting, keep them coming I love them sm:)

Paris

My goddess deserved to be spoiled, always so good to me. So I took my dearest girl to Paris, in hope to return to Hampden with my fiancée. It warmed my heart to see her eyes wide and sparkling from the city, it was beautiful. I obviously booked a suite for us, on the top floor, so I could see her wake up happy, with Paris at her feet.

We woke up, had a quiet coffee and breakfast in the morning, but some days we just slept in and had sex while the sun joined us slowly.

Our days were either spent sightseeing, shopping or even just chatting in a café, or even reading together.

We had dinner at an expensive restaurant every night. I loved seeing her getting ready, applying her makeup on, zipping up her dress that hugged her curves perfectly, and she always asked me to help her put on her jewellery, even if she was perfectly capable of putting it on for herself. It brought me satisfaction when her eyes rolled back at the delicious taste of the

cuisine and the wines from the finest french vineries. We talked at the soft candlelight, a bit tipsy from the wine, smoking cigarettes and softly caressing each other, knowing that the night will end with mind blowing sex.

But one night, we got ready for our dinner, except that I had a velvet box in my pocket.

We were waiting for dessert and she stroked my hand. “Thank you for the day, Henry.” She told me this everyday.

“Anything for you, my goddess, you know you musn’t thank me, I would do anything for you gladly.”

“I know, but I am so very grateful for you.” She leaned closer and petted my face. “My dear, spoiling me so nicely…”

“My pleasure. Y/N, my love…”

She giggled, a bit confused at my sudden seriousness. “Yes?”

“I never knew that I could love someone so much as much as I love you, I never thought I could love, until you came into my life…” I said my monologue that I had practised in my head ever since we arrived in the country. Tears were flowing down her cheeks, with a smile.

But, her mouth fell open when I got down on one knee, and it was no surprise when she fell into my arms, repeating ‘yes’ over and over again.

So, that night I didn’t make love to my lovely girl, but to my lovely wife. We only got engaged, but I already looked at her as my wife, ever since I first saw her. It was obvious that a girl like her only comes once in a lifetime, so marrying her was the best choice of my life.

After many many rounds, we were spent and so were our bodies. I slept like a bear everytime she was near me.

I woke up the next morning, with a groan and closed eyes I felt around the sheets, looking for my wife. I opened my eyes when I couldn’t feel her warm body near me, and I saw her at the open window, right next to our bed. She was leaning out the window, smoking a cigarette. Her curvy frame was barely covered with a white button up shirt of mine, she must have picked it up from the ground just now, not even bothering to button it or putting on her panties, while I melted into the white sheets naked.

The sun was shining down on her, and she was swimming in it. My goddess welcomed the sun with closed eyes and a gentle hum. The sun was also shining through the shirt, revealing her skin for me. Her kissable neck, her soft back, her delicate thighs and her graspable butt with wider hips. I was so in love with her, my body and heart both reacted to her immediately.

She turned around and smiled at me. “Is my husband enjoying the view?” She threw her cigarette out and made her way towards me. My cock stirred in that instant, looking for her warm cunt.

“It would be hard not to, especially with a beauty-on-earth wife like mine.” She crawled on top of me, kissing every inch of my face before leaning down and giving me a deep kiss. When I felt her plump lips against mine, I stroked the back of her hair with one hand and pushed her my shirt off her shoulders.

Her breasts were a sight for sore eyes, I kissed all around them and swirled my tongue all around her sensitive nipples, until she begged me to do something.

“Henry, my husband! I cannot take it anymore, I need you, I need you more.” I flipped us so now she was caged under me. I positioned my tip at her entrance, but didn’t push in more than the tip. She grew impatient and wrapped her legs around my waist, only to tighten them and make my hips collide with hers.

I embraced her as her tight walls embraced my member. “My sweet girl, my sweet wife, taking me so well and oh, so tight.”

I threw one of her legs over her shoulder, the sudden position change caused my tip to press into her heavenly spot at her cervix. As I pounded into her she mewled loudly and kissed me to drown out her loud moans. The sun peeked down at our heated love making, or fucking more like.

Her shaking legs and fluttery walls indicated that she was letting go, so I did too. I pumped her full of my thick cum and just stayed inside of her.

We stayed like that for hours, connected both physically and emotionally, smoking cigarettes and just chatting about anything, as husband and wife.

[lilydoeswrite]

THE MERCILESS SIREN | CHAPTER SEVEN

wattpad link previous chapter series masterlist next chapter

summary: It is the 66th Hunger Games when Oceana Fontaine is reaped as tribute, and at just thirteen years old, the odds are certainly not in her favour. As much as it is seen as an honour for Oceana to represent her district in the games, it is also practically a death sentence. But Oceana knows she needs to go home and is determined to, no matter how low her chances are and with the help of her mentors, she might just do that. But if she is to win, she will have to learn where her biggest strengths start to turn into her biggest flaws and weigh her options carefully as she starts making choices that pushes her morality and the lengths she will go to for love.

tags: slow burn (finnick x oc), eventual violence, the usual stuff when it comes to the hunger games, not sure what else

My sleep is filled with comforting dreams. It’s as if my brain knows what memory to play in order to comfort me in the worst of times. It’s from the day our ancestors liked to call Valentine's day. It is a day celebrated with romantic love, friendship and admiration along with the lovebirds of early spring. Aurelia and I learnt about it as kids when we would read about it in old novels talking about all sorts of love and eventually it became a tradition between us to celebrate it together. We would sit in the meadows near the Fields having a picnic as we made bouquets and flower crowns for one another, then we’d go to the Centre holding them in our arms as we went shopping for each other before finally hiking up to the Cliffs to have dinner at our favourite restaurant and watch the sunset. It was just as good as Christmas or any of our birthday parties. 

I still remember the day she had turned sixteen and how we had thrown a sweet sixteen birthday party for her. I still remember her smile on that day when she saw all her friends show up at our house and how happy she was talking to them around the bonfire. 

I can tell dawn is breaking as small streams of sunlight break through the windows. The Capitol seems to have rather misty air as I can’t seem to see much in the horizon. I let out a sigh, how is it possible for dreams to feel so real? It had felt like I was really back in District 4 until I had woken up to my harsh reality. 

Slowly, I drag myself out of bed and head into the shower. I don’t feel nearly awake enough to bother with the control panel so I punch the buttons aimlessly until the shower feels just right. I wash my body with the fancy soap they had which smelt like lavender and wash my face in order to wake myself up. The hot water doesn’t do the trick so I go back to the control panel to adjust the temperature till it was icy cold and it’s only then that I wake up. I dry myself off and moisturise myself with lotion before changing to the outfit I find has been left for me at the front of the closet. It’s skin-tight black leggings and a short sleeved blue top and leather boots. 

I gather my hair into a ponytail and secure it with a hair tie and find that whoever has left the outfit has also taken my costume and jewellery from the ceremony. I hope it has made its way to Valeria well. The outfit reminds me of my wetsuit for whatever reason and it’s the first time since the reaping that I resemble myself. Perhaps it’s the lack of fancy clothes and hair that makes me look more like myself and I find it comforting.

I head out to the dining room since I feel hungry and hope there will be food and there is. I’m not disappointed. I find Finnick and Dover talking to one another by the table and they greet me warmly, welcoming me to the table as I take a bowl of granola and a glass of milk. I take a seat next to them and they look at me weirdly. 

“That’s all you’re going to have?” Dover asks. 

“Yeah, why?” I ask as I pour the milk into the bowl. 

“That’s way too little, Oce,” Finnick shakes his head. “You’ve got training today. Go get some eggs and some fruit.”

“Alright…” I say reluctantly, walking towards the bowl of fruit and taking a banana and an apple before loading a plate with eggs. I’m not used to eating this much for breakfast, in fact, most days I tend to skip breakfast so I can get more sleep before school, but I know that they mean well. I take a bite into my apple before my mind wanders off. 

I’m nervous about training. Of course, I already know that I’d be coached separately from Gill but there will be three days in which all the tributes practice together. On the last afternoon, each tribute will get a chance to perform in private before the Gamemakers. I feel nauseous thinking about having to meet the other tributes. 

“A penny for your thoughts?” Dover smiles at me and I laugh before seeing Gill and Coral enter the dining room as we greet each other. Gill is wearing a different outfit as me and it’s green instead of blue.

The rest of the victors stroll into the dining room one by one and we greet each other before Clifford gives him pep talk. “Alright, good morning everyone, as you all know, today is the first day of training. Now, I assume you two would like to be trained separately?” He glances at both Gill and I as we both give a nod. “Great, just like what we had in mind. It’s important that you both show your mentors all your skills, no matter how good or bad they are. It’s critical that they’re aware of your capabilities, it’ll help with your strategy as well, and who knows? Maybe you’ll pick up a skill or two. Don’t underrate yourself. Just don’t show your full ability to the other tributes.”

“Well, if there’s anyone I need to fear, it’s Oceana,” Gill chuckles and I give him a suspicious look, I’m not sure what he’s alluding to. “Don’t look at me like that! I’ve seen you with your water guns at the Academy! You’ve got good aim!”

I sigh as the memory comes flooding back in. It’s a rather stupid yet funny one. There was this particular day in which I had brought in a couple of water guns I had found in the back of my house to the Academy and handed them out to my friends for us to have a small battle with. The only reason why I didn’t get in trouble was because we managed to pull some kind of excuse that it would help us with our target accuracy. “Shooting and aiming at something with a water gun is not the same as throwing a trident.”

“No it’s not.” Gill says. “Still, you’ve got good aim and you’d be pretty deadly with an actual weapon.”

“Well, throwing an actual weapon at someone is still not the same,” I argue before Clifford shuts the both of us down as Gill opens his mouth to argue back. 

“Enough, you two. First of all, I’d like to hear that story of the water gun,” everyone at the table lets out a laugh. “Second, remember to focus on your survival skills. I know you’ve heard this a million times by now, but I cannot emphasise on it enough. You’re going to need to know how to trap animals and know what knots to tie, basically skills to help you survive– hunting, trapping, foraging, all that stuff. Know how to quickly familiarise yourself with the environment and how to tell what others are planning by simply observing them. How to stay mentally strong. There is much more to the games than knowing combat, and as much as the Academy can teach you that, only those with experience, so us, can give you the proper advice.” Both Gill and I are paying close attention at this rate, we know how serious it is. We can hear it in his voice. “Meet at the elevator at nine thirty, alright?”

It's nine by the time we’re done with breakfast. I go back to my room to clean my teeth and tie my hair again. I think about what Gill said, I had no idea he had seen me in the Academy. Heck, I had no idea he had even gone to the same Academy as me. How much had he seen? Had he seen me in class throwing knives and shooting arrows? How much of my ability does he know? I know nothing about him except for the fact that he must’ve been extremely good in the Academy for him to be as confident as he is. Had Ms Bronte paid him a visit as well? But for him to say that I was the one that he had to fear, was he making fun of me? Or was it simply a joke? Or had he seen enough of me in the Academy to actually fear me? But what was there to fear in me? He’s stronger and probably more experienced in every aspect, I’m only thirteen. 

My thoughts and confusion temporarily blocks out my nervousness about meeting the other tributes but I can feel my anxiety rising again. I head onto the balcony, and stare down at the teeming with life as cars let out honks like an uncoordinated orchestra. The Capitol is as busy as they make it out to be, just like a heart. The heart of Panem is what the president calls it. Now that training has begun, you can make out a certain heaviness in the air. It sits and lingers and it’s impossible to forget the inevitable. I stand by the balcony for a while, closing my eyes as my fingers fidget. I feel a pit in my stomach and now I feel like crying again. 

“Oce?” I open my eyes and smile at Finnick who approaches me. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” I nod, but I know I’m not fooling him as his lips curl into a frown. 

“No you’re not,” Finnick raises his hand and wipes away a tear that’s running down my cheek. “Come on, talk to me about it.”

“I don’t know how to put it in a sentence,” I admit, wanting to laugh at how stupid I sound. “It’s just, I’m trying to be as strong as I can, but it’s almost impossible to. How do I ignore something that I feel so deeply? I feel it with every breath that I take in every waking second. One day I’m a thirteen year old girl spending her days surfing and studying, the next day I’m not. Because I know I’m not going to be just thirteen anymore. It’s like I’m being forced to grow up all of a sudden and I know it’s so stupid not to be able to cope with that but I just can’t. I don’t know how to, I don’t know.” My voice starts to crack up, but before I can cry, Finnick pulls me into a hug. 

“I can’t say it’s okay because I know it’s not going to be okay,” he sighs as I bury my head in the crook of his neck. “And if I were to give any advice, I’d be a hypocrite because this is how I felt like last year.”

It’s hard to remember that he only won last year, and that he probably is still healing from his very own games. This is the cruellest thing about the games in my opinion, other than making twenty four children fight to their deaths, to make the victors mentor and get to experience every following Hunger Games when they are still trying to recover from their own. To have them to mentor and get close to kids they’re not even sure will come back. 

“But all I can say is that fear is what drives you. Fear drives the human spirit and sparks the fire in you, hope is the one that kindles it. Do it scared but still keep the hope you have.”

“How do I be brave? Everyone else is, all the Careers are, except me,” I say, my voice is reduced to a mere whisper.

“There is a difference between bravery and confidence, Oce,” Finnick lets out a laugh. “Bravery is feeling fear, embracing it, and moving forward with it. It’s the ability to take the leap you know you have to take no matter how scary or big it is. Don’t be so scared about not winning that you let it consume you and most importantly, trust yourself.”

I pull out of the hug and I nod. I’m lucky to not have cried as I know we have to go to the training centre soon and I’m sure it’d be a disaster if I were to show up with red and puffy eyes. It’d be an embarrassment.  

“Thank you,” I smile shakily, trying to control my emotions. 

“You can win, Oceana, I truly do think so,” he says.

“You haven’t seen me train,” I nearly chuckle.

“Yes, but, it’s much more than skill, Oce, it’s about the fire and spirit in you. I told you last night and I’ll say it to you again, you have the spirit of a victor.” Finnick says as we arrive at the elevator. “See you,” he grins. 

“See you,” I echo back before going into the elevator. 

“Be friendly to the other Careers, alright? Try to make friends with them.” Clifford says as he stares down at both Gill and I. 

The training rooms are below ground level and are in the basement of the building. The elevators are fast and the ride is short. The doors open and I step out into an enormous gymnasium that is filled with everything from weights to weapons to obstacle courses. We’re not the first to arrive but certainly not the last and the rest of the tributes are gathered in a tight circle. The atmosphere is tense and I start feeling nervous once again.  They each have a cloth square with their district number on it pinned to their shirts and we’re provided with one as well. Someone pins mine to my shirt and I look over to Gill who mouths to me a word I can’t make out so I follow him. We end up standing next to the tributes of 1 and 2 who smile at us as if we’re old friends.

Perks of being a Career, I guess. 

I smile at them before putting on my best poker face and glance at everyone around us. The tributes from 12, 7 and 3 have yet to arrive. There is a weird silence that falls on us 

Slowly, the remaining tributes start to trickle in and join the circle. Once all of us are gathered, the head trainer, a tall and athletic man named Lysander steps up and explains the training schedule. There would be different stations for each skill and at each station there would be an expert. We are allowed to travel from area to area as per our mentor's instructions which means I have to head straight to where the weapons are at. There are a few stations for that, and many targets to practise with. Some of the stations teach survival skills and the others, fighting techniques. However, we are forbidden to engage in any combative exercise with another tribute, should we want to practise with a partner, it would be with the assistants on hand. Lysander starts to read down the list of the skill stations. A few stand out to me. Archery, wielding, camouflage, edible plants, gauntlets and knives. I know exactly which one I’d head for. 

We are dismissed and we disperse as each of us head for one station or another. I head straight for the knife throwing station where there are a couple of knives sitting on the table next to the expert waiting to be thrown. 

“Hello,” I smile at the man who is standing next to the targets.

“Hello,” he smiles back, “are you here to learn about throwing knives or are you here to practise?”

“Practise,” I smile and he nods, handing me the three knives. I can feel the stares of others which makes me worried. The other Careers are probably looking at me and if I mess up slightly, there’s no way they’d ever take me seriously– much less team up with me.

I relax my body and straighten my posture, holding onto the knife as I shift my right foot forward. I grip onto the knife before letting it go. My mind is now blank as I automatically throw the next one and the one after. I take a deep breath in as I look at each target, I have hit every single one on bullseye. The expert seems impressed as he gives me a nod of approval, smiling at me as he retrieves the knives.

I turn around, about to go to the other station when I see Gill and the other Career tributes. “Oceana,” Gill calls me and I walk over. “This is Oceana, the other tribute from 4.”

“Nice work with the knives,” a blonde girl who has her hair in a braid smiles, “I’m Briar and this,” she nudges the tall, muscular, brown haired guy next to her, “is Alvise.” He waves at me before I’m introduced to the tributes from District 2.

“Chase,” the male tribute who has dark brown hair and brown eyes extends his hand which I shake. “and next to me is Giselle.”

“Hi,” I smile, shaking Giselle’s hand.

After we’ve introduced to one another, we go our separate ways and I head straight to the archery station. I take one of the bows from the stand and an arrow, correcting my stance and gripping the bow loosely. I feel more relaxed now for whatever reason. I place the arrow on the bow before drawing it back and aiming at the furthest target before releasing it. Bullseye. I smile and go back to the rack to take another arrow when I’m stopped by Gill.

“Clifford said not to show our full abilities,” he whispers hastily, looking at me in the eyes with a glare. 

“I’m not,” I walk past him to take another arrow. “This is light work.”

Author's note: BOOM ANOTHER CHAPTER!! i'm kind of on the verge of giving up on the three chapter rule gap i've set for myself but oh well, it's better to have chapters prepared in advance in case of anything i guess. anyways, thanks for reading all the way down here, i really appreciate it! if you like this, consider reblogging and commenting! and once again, constructive criticism is always welcomed!

[mellowwhumps]

Whumperless Whump Event Day 29 + 30: A robbery | One of many hostages | “Stay behind me, I can take a hit.” || Fear | Breaking point | “I can’t stop crying, I’m sorry—”

OCs: Ida, Ibys (AU of AU) — 2.2K words

CW: !!!! panic-driven self-harm + attempted suicide but the whumpee can’t quite die anyway, the pronoun ‘it’ being used for dehumanisation

@whumperless-whump-event

——

It’s over. Organisation destroyed. Half-bomb inside him rendered nonfunctional after help. Ida can’t exactly go back to his hometown, much too unsure, so right now he’s done nothing but rent a place with some spare money, some dingy flat that was barely enough to fit three people. 

Needless to say, he was thankful for any fresh air.

The person beside him wasn’t much for talking, let alone requesting anything, undoubtedly still used to their past. Hence, that day, he was bringing them to get new clothes. To simulate choice. It’s a screwed-up act, really.

Of course it had to go wrong. His luck was never too good. Shopping mall, jewellery in the next section, intruders, warning shots fired. A robbery.

He could probably take care of them easily. The robbers hold their gun wrong, stance merely an attempt to make them look powerful enough to assert authority. He’s not scared of them. 

Until one of them sees his expression and catches a glimpse of false gold under his sleeve and singular glove, revealed with his hands raised. Until they start pointing guns to his head instead. For a second, his resolve falters, and that is all the encouragement Ibys needs. 

They catch his gaze, staring at him with near-frenzied eyes momentarily before setting his sights on the intruders, undoubtedly trying to come up with a plan. Ida distracts them, pretending to unbutton the clasps of his prosthetic.

Fleet-footed and lethally graceful, they strike, downing one man and moving on to another. There are weak spots, the result of being the only one doing the job; he covers for them, knocking the final two out. The other hostages watch on in silence; he can make a decent theory on what’s on their minds. No matter. 

“Stay behind me next time, sir,” they snap, “and do not try to help. I am capable enough to fend for the both of us.”

They’re breathing heavily, clearly paying more attention to their actions rather than their words. Lapsing back into formality. He was so close in getting them to loosen up, and now they won’t look anywhere but the bodies.

It’s unlike them to speak first.

“Ibys. There won’t be a next time. We were just at the wrong place, at the wrong time. And of course I’d assist you, why wouldn’t I?” 

“Sir, I can take a hit, sir. My job is as such. Better me than you, since injuries do not affect me, I was trained for this purp—”

“Screw your purpose! You don’t have a purpose, okay? It’s already over, it’s over!”

——————

It had been a long few months since it met him, there in that cell. Where it once longed for a wielder, there he was, treating them perhaps a little odd, but otherwise leniently. A weapon should not have so many thoughts, they think.

Time passes. They have not yet been put to another use, apart from helping him with the things he could not do. They have not yet had a hand laid on them, pushing or shoving or having a knife wedged into their chest.

It is peaceful. They were not meant for peace.

In the end, they’re expendable. A prototype, something made for the improvement of others. When time passes and they get older, it only gets worse, because the younger are more efficient, more capable, even with their experience. 

They get picked to be thrown away and broken, to test their limits, to see how far they truly can go. Between one hell to the next, they never had a choice; this obedient little thing.

More arrive, and those subjects speak out of turn, or mess up their handler’s office, or act weak. Nothing happens. They can’t be like them. They are always waiting for something to happen, some command or instruction or easily comprehensible thing.

And then, the request happens. 

If it fell apart, right then and there, it did not know how best to describe it. So they head to his office, do not take a deep breath in, and say: they are leaving. That is all they have to report.

He asks: Why?

He questions: Are you coming back?

He inquires: Will I be going with you?

It wants to answer: Sorry. 

Instead, the weapon does not say anything. Apologies are not what something like them should ever have in their vocabulary. They, the subject; he, the owner. That was all there ever was to it. Their handler should be getting the documents soon.

They stand, as far as they ever were, and raise a hand to salute. As they walk away, they realise they don’t know how else to bid farewell. 

Subject, object. Their words never did prove anything to him, even as informal as they forced their speech to be, as per instruction.

They turn the corner and try not to look back.

——————

Ida enters the room, not expecting anyone. Their assistant was sent to ‘serve’, according to the documents. He knows it’s a polite way of saying they won’t be coming back. Like how he shouldn’t be alive, at this very moment, in this very office.

Like how they shouldn’t be. But they’re here anyway, standing silently and inconspicuously by a corner. No greeting like he’d taught them to. Pure, contained silence.

When the door opens, he sees them reach for the hilt of their weapon. Tense.

He remembers, then, hiding behind whatever he could find. Trying to curb the shaking of his hands enough to fire a bullet, where a long time ago he’d have hit bullseyes with. No amount of training could have prepared anyone for the real thing.

There are no comforting words said, no reassurance. That would make it worse. It already happened, after all. Besides, whatever odd relations they had should not involve such things. 

Instead, he tells them to report. What comes isn’t what he could ever expect. Some mishmash of chaos and conflict, them in the middle, because the others thought they showed enough capability to handle everything on their own. Like cowards. 

Ibys does nothing but obey. That is what they were taught to do, and that is what they were doing now. Report. He feels rather sorry for them, trapped in some past regime. They’re both trapped.

Their hand presses into the blade of their knife, taken out at some point, healing so fast no scar forms at all, the only trace of injury being the blood splattering on the off-white floor. When they get to describing their wounds in perfect detail, up to the length of the incision made, that’s when he tells them to stop. 

They do. Their eyes focus. They look down at the weapon, likely just about to cut through their bone and react, yanking it away from their arm and dropping it to the floor with a clatter before standing stock-straight, limbs locked, bracing themself. 

He’s more concerned with the dried blood on the blade. It would have been nothing unusual, if he had not known better. 

The knife is always kept clean. From washing it under a sink after prior permission to wiping it on the inside of the coat, all to keep it from tarnishing. It’s not the slowest of tasks. By all means, the cleaning should have been done.

It isn’t. To him, that says more than enough. 

Ibys was rushing here.

——————

They live to serve, and when they aren’t serving, to wait for another order. So no, they have to have a purpose, because to have a purpose is to be needed, proof that they aren’t broken, proof that they can be wielded, this rusted weapon. Because when it’s over, their only choice was to be on the battlefield. 

But it is, isn’t it? The data assistant that worked with them for some time and then went missing for a whole other long period of time barged into the laboratory and started bringing it down. He knew where the power supply was, the emergency power supply as well. All without turning off a single life support system. 

It ended, albeit with casualties, but it ended. Some happy ending, like the fairytale book they once were allowed to take a peek out of. They’re not meant to be there at all. Without a purpose, they’re—

—metal touches their skin and they react and—

—Ida falls to the ground, crimson blossoming on his left sleeve. His eyes are blown wide, his breathing heavy. They’ve hurt him. Simple as that. Hadn’t kept the wounds to themself and themself only, since nobody else ever wanted that. Lashed out. Hurt his handler.

The weapon takes a step back. The weapon turns its namesake on itself, positioning it where its failsafe should have been, because if it is decommissioned then it cannot do the same thing anymore, cannot be a threat, can therefore keep its handler safe, safe, safe. Amidst it all, that is the order ingrained into them, the one order they cannot disobey. They do, anyway.

They are tackled to the floor using nothing but body weight, rolling away on instinct before they get crushed. Their hands move to stabilise themself on the ground. They would have fought back were it not for the clear, sharp cry of pain beside them, Ida’s prosthetic now sparking, both arms practically unfunctional. 

“Ibys…you can’t just do that—! Don’t scare me like that! Nnnn…please…” He makes a failed attempt to get up, staring at them with helpless, helpless eyes as he tries again. A small audience watches on, whispering. Scared. Fearful. All of them.

Nobody is helping Ida up. And even though they know they can’t help, still they want to. What were they even thinking earlier? They…they’re not usually that impulsive.

Despite everything, they still rush forward. They could hurt him. But if they leave him then they may as well be worse than dead.

There’s a wetness on their cheeks. Something that curls from the skin of his throat and rises. They want to scream, even as they try to hold this foreign feeling back, press their hands to the wound as though staining them could somehow solve everything. 

They were made to fight. They don’t know how else to help.

Water obstructs their vision, now, and they rub it away. Almost immediately, it’s replaced by another round of saltwater.

“Why, why can’t it…can’t I…s-sir…” There’s a quiver in their voice that certainly wasn’t there before. A weak little thing they want to chase out, but the more they think about it, the weaker it gets. In front of everyone who depended on them, no less. It takes them a long, long moment to realise they aren’t—

“—Breathe. I’m alright, I promise, the cut wasn’t too deep. Let’s go away so…so nobody stares at you. It’s making it worse.” They can’t. They can barely even move their legs “Hey. Look at me.” They rub their eyes until it burns and look.

“I’m not scared of you, see?”

It’s a lie, no doubt. It’s clear in the way he holds himself, subtle flinches that don’t escape their gaze. Yet, and yet, his voice is calm with nothing but the truth, not soothing or deep, but his voice nonetheless. They…they want to listen. They will always listen to him, listen to the familiarity of his speech and the accent of his words.

“Sir, I…I can’t stop this, apologies, sir—” 

“It’s a process. You get used to it.” He shifts his position on the floor, smiling even as he winces, strong in a way only he could pull off. “Don’t bother trying to stop the tears.”

A string pulls taut inside them, not quite snapping but enough to send them over the edge, dropping to their knees with a cry. It’s visceral, yearning, the way it just doesn’t end. They’re a mess, but in that moment, they can’t quite think of anything else apart from the way he’s letting them sob into the cloth of his shirt. 

He’s warm. They haven’t ever gotten so close to anyone before, and realise how much they want it. This greedy, all-consuming desire for more, the feeling that had perhaps driven them forward this whole time. Ida talks and they don’t even bother listening, merely hearing the words envelop their body in a certain sort of inexplicable peace. 

Alive, they think. Alive. 

Just that sends another round of sobs escaping their mouth. They stay there forever, perhaps, or a minute, and in that moment they don’t care about anything but the sound of his false heartbeat by their ear.

——

“That’s not what I meant just now, you know? You can still have a purpose. It simply doesn’t need to be because anyone else forced you to. You don’t have to do everything alone either.”

“You hurt your arm, sir. Both of them. I have to assist you, sir.”

“Do you want to?”

“…Yes.”

“Then that can be your purpose now, since you want it! Until we figure out something better when ‘Wen fixes my prosthetic. I take care of you, you take care of me, got it? So stay alive in the meantime.”

“…I take care of you, you take care of me. Instruction received,s—Ida.”

“You like me talking, right? I noticed that a long, long time ago.”

[lapeaudelamemoire]

1. Third day of the new year and I have discovered that one of my piercings is being eaten by my ear. I did not notice this before because the piercing that is affected is right next to another piercing with a massive keloid scar that I have not effectively treated, so I thought it was just the scar acting up again. I don't know what to do about this. I know I should go to a fucking piercing shop, but I really don't want to because the nearest one to me is run by a couple that have felt super judgey to me despite having been nice enough to help me for no payment and no appointment on at least one if not two prior occasions. But I really don't fucking feel like being scolded for the supposedly poor quality of my body jewellery or whatever because I have 16 piercings or something on my ears and I don't have $1600 to drop on jewellery, since almost everything they sell is like $100 for a piece of body jewellery.

2. I can't take it out by myself, which is also why I'm so fucking tired of dealing with my piercings. They are so fucking difficult to get out by yourself or do things to yourself without having to go to a piercer.

3. Every time something about my body comes up or I need to go do a medical thing or see a doctor, it is a Huge Fucking Drag. And at times like these I just want to go home to Singapore. It feels like a damn pain having to go see a doctor here because of being an international student. I can go see a doctor just fine but to claim the money or whatever I have to do admin and so I've never bothered. But I also don't trust the medical system here like for going to treat said keloid scar because ??? I seem to only have the option of going to private clinics, whereas in Singapore I just go to the National Dermatology Centre. Which is subsidised by the government.

4. Fuuuuuuucccccccckkkkkkk I know I should go see a doctor or a piercer but I really don't want to and also the other reason I find having to go do a Medical Thing such a Fucking Drag is because public transport here is a fucking pain in the arse and I don't drive. In Sg I could wait a few more hours, leave the house, get on public transport and go to a piercing shop in a shopping centre that I trust that closes at 9pm or something without having to hurry. Here though I am beset by inertia.

5. I am going to use piercing spray and maybe try to soak it in some salt solution and then maybe use some ice and try to take it out by myself. If that doesn't work then tomorrow I will go out of my way to go to a body jewellery place at the shopping centre near my partner's apartment and see if they can get it out for me, since I wanted to buy something from there anyway.

[oldestvampire]

Memories

I pour tea for our guest, a general from the West, and when we are alone he grabs me, bites my neck, and leaves me crumpled on the chair to die while he calls for guards to find my assailant. | During my travels I encounter Sun Yating once more, he proposes a duel in exchange for my forgiveness but I give him the candy in my bag in exchange instead; laughing, he hands me a letter that he says will get me out of any unpleasant situations.

I spend my evenings and mornings playing my guqin, plucking my strings in time to the bubble of the creek near my abode, soothing my hunger with the sound of the strings. | A young woman greets me one morning as I play, she claims she is thirsty and when I see the grey pallor of her skin - so similar to mine - I offer her the swaddled infant on my table and she calls me a monster. | The infant, who I have named Bo, I have kept alive and hidden from the village - perhaps once out of bitterness, but now out of love; they have become precious to me indeed.

Cui Jiao comes to me years later, desperate and no longer the delicate woman she once was, thin with ragged clothes and matted hair, thirsty once more, but this time for blood instead of tea; I take her inside when she falls at my feet and put away the few belongings she has - including a small wooden jewellery box I don't dare open. | Cui Jiao and I live as sisters, and I adopt the name Cui Xiuying to keep up this ruse. | Raids and skirmishes sweep through the land, destroying all they touch, and so we retreat further into the wilderness of the mountains.

A weaver and her husband come to take Bo from me, and even as he claws and cries for me to do something, I don't.

I was born in a time of peace and prosperity along the riverbank, but the mountain town's market is full of merchants whispering about corruption and skirmishes between the kingdoms; even after 200 years of life this worries me, for I have no knowledge of war. | The sun comes out while I am still looking for my next meal, I duck in a tea shop and am served by a child who recounts to me tales of their misadventures in return for sweets and tales of mine; though I go home with my belly empty, my heart is full. | Mo Hua does not know me for what I am and protests when the villagers whisper about my aversion to sunlight and their missing travellers; his avid defence turns their eyes to him - I cry for the first time in a long time when I find him on the side of the road.

Diary

I am Yin YiJun, the second daughter of my parents, and I am enjoying peaceful days before my father finds me a husband. | A man who came seeking my hand is met with my fangs, and though my skirts enshroud his figure a servant sees him and calls for the soldiers; Zhao Fen helps me flee. | As years pass my body grows stronger, muscles that were once built for housework and mundane chores suddenly remembering the movement of the Jian, though I have never owned one.

Characters

Sun Yating - The immortal vampire who turned me. He lives by day as an accomplished general from the West.

Qin Da - The immortal Provincial Governor, he stole my pearwood scissors and has lived numerous lives under numerous names.

Cui Jiao - A righteous immortal woman who refused my help.

Bo - The mortal child I have hidden away.

Weaver - The woman I resent for stealing Bo away.

The Weaver's Husband - A strong yet weak-willed man.

Mo Hua - A child I befriended while seeking refuge from the sun.

Duan Bai - The mortal woman who taught me midwifery.

Yin He - My father, the magistrate of a small county. He is kind but gullible, and his wards suffer for it.

Wu Yawen - My father's second wife. Sweet but docile.

Zhao Fen - A childhood friend and neighbour.

Yin YiJun

Skills

Deception, Part of the Rumour Mill, Immortal's Patience, An Ear for Music, Knowledge of Imperial Affairs, Privy to Secret Records, Midwifery, The Art of the Sword,

Resources

Mysterious Jewellery Box, Hut on the Mountainside (Stationary), Letter from the General, Diary - Worn Bamboo Scrolls, Decorated Guqin, Hut on the Mountainside (Stationary), Wrapped candy, Enchanted Pearwood Scissors

Marks

A large chunk of my neck is missing and will not heal; I must wear high collars and bandages to hide the bleeding.

My skin is frighteningly pale, and grey like ash; white powder and red makeup hide this on my face, but I make sure to keep my hands tucked into my sleeves in public.

[xposetattoo]

Tattoo in Jaipur: Unveiling the Vibrant Artistry and Skilled Tattoo Artists

Are you searching for a captivating tattoo in Jaipur that flawlessly embodies your own sense of style? Look nowhere else! The Pink City of India, Jaipur, is known for its amazing architecture, colourful history, and burgeoning tattoo scene. Whether you're a local or just passing through, Jaipur has a tonne of tattoo parlours and skilled artists to make your tattoo dreams come true.

The Growing Trend of Tattoos in Jaipur

In Jaipur, the demand for tattoos has increased dramatically in recent years. Young people, professionals, and even senior citizens from all walks of life are embracing this form of self-expression. Tattoos now represent a person's identity, inventiveness, and enthusiasm for art in addition to its conventional symbolism.

Finding the Best Tattoo Shop Near You

Your top priorities should be closeness and quality while looking for the best tattoo parlour in Jaipur. After all, you want to make sure that getting a tattoo is not just aesthetically pleasing but also secure and hygienic. It's hardly surprising that there are now many tattoo studios spread out over the city given the growing popularity of tattoos. But not all tattoo parlours are created equal, so it's important to do your homework before choosing one.

To simplify your quest for the perfect tattoo shop, we've compiled a list of key factors to consider:

Reputation: Seek out a tattoo parlour with a good standing and rave testimonials from previous clients. This demonstrates the artists' reliability and level of expertise.

Hygiene Standards: Make that the tattoo parlour follows stringent hygiene guidelines, such as utilising disposable needles, sterilised equipment, and good sanitation.

Artistic Expertise: Examine the tattoo artists' resumes for their artistic accomplishments. Find an artist whose work fits your intended design because every artist has a different style.

Consultation and Customization: Select a tattoo parlour that places a high importance on client pleasure and provides tailored consultations. They should pay close attention to your suggestions and offer insightful feedback to produce a design that surpasses your expectations.

Price and Value: Finding a tattoo parlour that charges fairly for its services without sacrificing quality is crucial, even though price shouldn't be the only criterion.

Exploring Tattoo Ink Near You

A crucial step in the tattooing process is selecting the tattoo ink. The ink should be of the highest calibre possible, vivid, and durable. If you're looking for tattoo ink in Jaipur, it's best to speak with experienced tattoo artists who place a premium on using reliable brands. Your tattoo will remain brilliant and vivid for years to come if it was done with high-quality ink.

Ear Piercing Near Me: The Perfect Blend of Tradition and Fashion

Another type of body modification that has become more common in Jaipur is ear piercing. It skillfully combines fashion and tradition, enabling people to accessorise their ears with elaborate jewellery and show off their unique sense of taste. Jaipur has a variety of options to fit your interests if you're looking for an ear piercing studio nearby.

When selecting an ear piercing studio, consider the following factors:

Safety and Sterilisation: To avoid infections and complications, make sure the studio adheres to proper sterilisation protocols.

Experience and Expertise: Pick an ear piercing shop that has skilled pros who are knowledgeable about various piercing methods.

Jewelry Selection: Look for a store that carries an extensive range of earrings in your preferred materials, designs, and styles.

Pain Management: Look for an ear piercing shop that puts your comfort first and employs methods to reduce discomfort.

Aftercare Guidance: To ensure good recovery and avoid any issues, a professional studio will give you detailed aftercare recommendations.

Best Tattoo Artists Near Me: Discovering the Masters of Ink

Finding the best tattoo artist in your area can be a thrilling but difficult endeavour. With their expertise, originality, and finesse, Jaipur's tattoo artists can realise any tattoo design you may imagine. Think about the following things when searching for the ideal artist:

Portfolio: Examine the artist's work to determine their level of artistic skill, attention to detail, and capacity for carrying out intricate designs..

Experience: Look for performers who have a lot of business experience. Professionals with experience are more likely to have perfected their craft and be able to handle different tattoo designs and procedures.

Customer Reviews: To learn more about the tattoo artist's professionalism, level of customer service, and capacity to turn ideas into beautiful tattoos, read client testimonies and reviews.

Communication and Teamwork: An excellent tattoo artist will work closely with you to realise your vision by actively listening to your ideas, making suggestions, and working together.

Studio Environment: Take into account the ambiance and environment of the artist's workspace. An inviting and cosy setting can improve your overall tattoo experience.

Conclusion

In the vivacious city of Jaipur, tattoos have developed into a form of expression for people's individuality and creativity. Prioritise reputed tattoo parlours with talented artists who can bring your idea to life while looking for a tattoo in Jaipur. To ensure a memorable and unique experience, search nearby alternatives for premium tattoo ink, ear piercing studios, and top tattoo artists.

Embrace Jaipur's diverse cultural heritage and allow the skilled tattoo artists to design a stunning masterpiece that captures your personality, speaks to your soul, and leaves an enduring artistic imprint on your skin.

[leedsvegboxuk]

Things to consider while buying fruits and veggies online.

Everything from jewellery to novels can now be purchased with the touch of a mouse. As urban white-collar Indians explore their newly found method to cope with consumption, even our everyday basic commodities have joined the fleeting vogue.

Smoothies, juices, or bowls of mixed greens made with a combination of fresh, leafy vegetables are delicious and beneficial for pregnant women. Such a diet is very helpful for both the developing baby and the expecting mother. If you shop for crisp items online, you may mix and match ingredients to create customized recipes for you and your family. You can easily find Fresh Fruit and Veg Delivery near Me.

Consuming a diet rich in vegetables and fruits is associated with a reduced risk of cardiovascular disease and stroke, normal blood pressure, the maintenance of certain types of growth, and the provision of the highest possible number of nutrients essential for the proper growth and development of specifically the body and brain. The rule of thumb is that the more colorful and attractive the vegetables on the serving tray, the more robust and nourishing the meal.Local Veg Box Delivery near Me has been outstanding.

For a smorgasbord of health benefits, one should also try to consume a variety of new veggies, preferably in the form of salads. If you want to get the most out of the micronutrients that aid in antibody formation and disease prevention, it's best to consume the skin along with fruits and vegetables that include them, like apples. Therefore, shop for naturally cultivated goods online and save money. Customers may browse our extensive online catalog of fresh produce and natural goods, make purchases, and keep tabs on their orders with the use of online and text message order tracking, all from the comfort of their own homes.Local Veg Box Delivery is preferred by a lot of people.

The dominating parts' diet is mostly composed of green vegetables. Still, they are always in demand, therefore regular, bulk purchases are always recommended. Despite this, it is important to remember that many people just don't have the time to physically visit stores and make purchases.Local Fruit and Veg Delivery is available at affordable prices.

In addition, the stores are often crowded, so buying groceries might take a long. Now, what does that make the deal? Do you just cut out all fruit-based foods from your diet? It should be noted that there is a speedy solution to this problem.Veg Box Leeds are indeed the best.

To avoid losing any more time waiting for transportation, you need look no further. Getting your hands on the soil items you need is as simple as getting in touch with the providers, providing your information, and waiting for the deliveries.

A growing number of retailers are dabbling in the world of e-commerce. In order to stay in business, the online stores selling locally farmed produce have had to lower their prices. Further, many retailers are willing to offer you incredible discounts since they know you will be making large, regular purchases from them.

[fashionsfromhistory]

"I was sent to Vivienne Westwood's famous shop World's End in the Kings Road in London by a friend of mine when I was 19 and living there for a while. It was 1987. He wanted one of those belts that were very popular in the late 80s that had metallic buckles that had letters in them. While you could buy "Boy" ones from the shop BOY London, at World's End they custom made them. It was then I was seduced by the clothes that seemed to have no comparison anywhere and the shop that was like something out of an Enid Blyton story with its clock that ran backwards, its tiny size and sloping floors, with walls adorned with bustiers and crinnies and rocking horse shoes. I was quite intimidated but I really was hooked from that first visit and I don't recall having even tried on any clothes. I obviously did get back and the crinnies and Statue of Liberty tops and rocking horse shoes made me feel incredible and did the most dramatic things to my body. I felt and looked different than I ever had. I came back to Melbourne and moved to St Kilda with a new friend that I had made while working at Galaxy, a clothing shop in Chapel St, South Yarra, run by Sara Thorn and Bruce Slorach who were fashion designers. I went out to night clubs, studied at uni and worked part time. I met my partner at the time, Oleh Witer, at a party on a boat. We were both wearing Westwood, so had at least one thing in common. At the time he was in a band that he started called Big Pig. They had a few hits in the 80s - Hungry Town, Big Hotel and Breakaway that made it as title track of the hit movie Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. Oleh had been wearing Westwood for years, and had some fabulous pieces including some original shoes that Patrick Cox had made for Westwood, an original rope t-shirt and bondage trousers, amongst other things. He and his ex-partner, Jane Francis ("Minnie") had spent a lot of time in London and had had market stalls near Ben Westwood's (Vivenne's son). Oleh had also modelled for Vivienne in the 80s in one of her fashion parades. Minnie ended up working for Vivienne for many years, mainly in accessories and particularly jewellery. She apparently had one of the most incredible collections of pristine Westwood too, that had never been worn. Over the late 80s and early 90s when I was 19 years old to probably around 22-23 years old, I didn't wear anything else, I just couldn't, nothing was quite as avant-garde, attention-grabbing or fun and beautiful to wear. It suited the things I did, and the crowd I hung out with who worked in fashion, music, film and television. Over this period, I travelled to London a number of times and bought more clothes whilst there, or had clothes sent over. Also, during this time, Vivienne had a major exhibition in Canberra and Oleh and I drove up from Melbourne to see the show and hang out with Ben, his girlfriend, Yasmine, and Minnie who were traveling with Vivienne and Andreas, her husband. We spent a few days with them swimming in their hotel pool, eating bags of cherries from Oleh's parents' tree (they lived in Canberra) and sampling oysters from the NSW south coast which we visited with them. The night before the opening we spent time trying on clothes that they had bought from London, Vivienne choosing outfits for all of us. It was at this time that she gave me the blue rose print swimming costume. The night of the opening I wore a draping toga type dress that was gorgeous, and I didn't get to keep. I was photographed in it and my pic was in Vogue's coverage of the event with a close friend of mine, Matthew Flinn who also wore a lot of Westwood and recently passed away. During this time, there was a tribe of us that all wore Westwood with healthy competition. We were all obsessed and usually wore nothing else. I can't tell you why exactly, but for me, her clothes made me feel special and different from other people, and of course, fashionable but in a way that didn't really follow fashion, that is her clothes felt fashion-forward. I believe Vivienne Westwood is fashion-forward, she is doing her own thing and that most other designers are influenced by her work some time later. Her clothes were sexy and bold, and you had to be brave to wear most of them. They were certainly not for wall flowers, certainly not the ones I generally chose. My collection of clothes is the best representation of my life at the time I wore them, think the infamous Razor club of Melbourne, the crazy Daisy Chain club in London that Leigh Bowery used to frequent, most commonly in his naked woman outfit or the one with lit lightbulbs on his head, the Kings Road of London with Westwood and Katherine Hamnett, dance music - house and acid, making lavish music videos directed by Richard Lowenstein (Dogs in Space) and Paul Goldman (Australian Rules)."

Natalie Elliot to a Powerhouse Museum curator on her Vivienne Westwood pieces, donated 2006

[anygolds]

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[agapaic]

[19 days] whiplash [ch. 365 after-shot]

The shop will be closing soon. He’s seen an attendant wandering around, who will probably ask him to leave in the next five minutes. There’s no one else here. His clothes are vivid against the neon glow of the tanks. The fish cast strange shadows on his shirt, living out a second life on his skin.

They swim in half-circles before sharply changing direction, never touching the glass. He wonders if they know it’s there, as if they can sense some immovable wall that holds them back.

He’s not getting deep about this. He could contemplate, quite extensively, about how their freedom must be bought by some higher power, and they would really only go from one tank to the next, slightly bigger, slightly richer. It’s all fake shit, and he remembers that in some ways he’s got it better than an animal. He can, at least, run away. Maybe he won’t get far. Just to the edges of the city villages where he’ll get a job earning less than before and lose his place in school.

Guan Shan puts a finger on the glass in front of him. There’s a label in the corner, peeling away from the glass. Veiltail goldfish. They have wispy, membrane-like tails. He could put his hand on the other side and see all the way through. Guan Shan watches the only black fish in the tank move placidly through the water.

Beneath the label, a smaller one: Black moor. For a minute he considers tugging the label off and putting it in his pocket, a little secret. He remembers that would be stealing, in some way, and someone in the shop would have to go to the effort of printing and laminating and reapplying the label just for one fish.

Guan Shan turns away.

He wanders for a few more minutes. He’s aware of his reflection in the glass. He worries about how long the attendant will let him stay there, and the thought that they will make him leave makes him feel slightly sick. He likes it here—the quiet, the muted hum of the tanks, the strange lights. They make him feel somewhere else.

His mother is working the night shift and won’t be home until just before he’s meant to go to school the next morning. They’ll have long enough together that he could tell her he got fired from the shop, but not long enough that he could reasonably pretend to have forgotten as he tugs on his uniform and slips out the front door.

She won’t be mad—she never is.

She can’t take on another shift.

Mentally, he has started taking stock. His Xbox is a few years old, but he’ll get something for it. He has a stack of old music magazines from his dad that could catch the eye of a collector. His computer, maybe.

The earrings.

His stomach twists.

Really, it’s not much. It’ll earn them a month, which could be just long enough for him to get another job, but what’s the likelihood of that in a city where most kids are just trying to bulk their CV’s for their college applications. Besides, his grades speak for themselves. He got lucky with the shop, and lightning doesn’t strike twice.

‘Hey, kid. We’re closing soon, so unless you wanna buy something…’

Guan Shan nods. His shoulders round.

For no logical reason, he says: ‘Can I take a goldfish?’

‘Sure. The black moor? Saw you had your eye on that one.’

‘No, one of the others.’

The attendant comes up next to him. ‘Just the one? They don’t like being on their own, you know.’

He presses his jaw tightly. A small sound comes out of him. He looks at the price tag and is somehow shocked and saddened to see the figure so low.

‘Fine,’ he says. ‘The black one, too, I guess.’

He pays, then leaves. It’s late enough that the streets are quieter than he expected. He’s usually home by now, his shift over, reheating leftovers while he works on his homework. He stands there while the shop attendant locks up behind him, holding the plastic bag with two fish in his hand. He feels stupid. Behind his eyes, he can feel a sort of stinging sensation.

He has the unnameable urge to grab one of the passing strangers and tell them how he’s feeling, what has happened, what could happen. On some level he knows that everyone has their own problems, and he’s not the type of person to overstep his bounds. Instead, he watches them pass, and after a few more minutes he goes to the nearest subway station and gets the train home.

/

He had half expected He Tian to find him on the street. He’d imagined it, He Tian catching his arm as he wandered from store to store, deliberating at large windows with thin mannequins and expensive jewellery without price tags. There is a part of him that’s disappointed that it didn’t play out like this, a part of him that is even angrier to find He Tian sitting in the stairwell of his apartment when he eventually does get home.

It’s close to midnight, and the stairwell is clinically quiet. Outside, the stars are dusty and covered in a thin layer of smog that is less noticeable in the day. He Tian looks exhausted. He’s the type of good looking where even the slightest imperfection somehow makes him even more attractive. Guan Shan hates it.

He stands when Guan Shan walks in, suddenly filling the space, and Guan Shan says, ‘Get outta my way.’

‘Where have you been?’

Guan Shan shoulders past him. There’s a moment where he thinks He Tian will grab him around the shoulders, the air around him simmering enough that Guan Shan is convinced it’s a near thing, choking with danger, but he lets him pass. He follows Guan Shan up the staircase, his footsteps silent, his body casting long shadows on the steps where Guan Shan sets his feet.

At the door, Guan Shan pockets the notice that’s taped there, knowing He Tian has already seen it. Less sharply, he picks up the notes in He Tian’s and Jian Yi’s writing and folds them into careful squares.

‘You’re not comin’ in,’ he says.

‘I called you, like, fifty times. Did you block me?’

Guan Shan thinks He Tian sounds angrier than he really has a right to be. He turns and presses his back to the door. He has his keys clenched tightly in a closed fist.

‘Yeah. I didn’t want to talk to you. I thought you would’ve gotten that.’

‘I can get you another job. Something better paid.’

‘You’re so fuckin’ clueless.’

He Tian’s eyes tighten.

‘You’re ruining my life,’ says Guan Shan.

‘That’s—that isn’t true. I’ve helped you. You would’ve been expelled if—’

‘Maybe I would’ve gotten expelled. But I wouldn’t have had She Li on my dick all the time, would I? Wouldn’t need you to get me a job ‘cause you made me lose my last one, would I? You’re just—stickin’ a bandage on shit when you hurt me first.’

‘It’s not always like that. Don’t make it sound like it’s always like that.’

Guan Shan shakes his head. ‘I want you to go. I told you I didn’t want to see you again. Fuck off.’

He Tian says, ‘Let me pay what was on the door.’

‘Fuck off.’

He Tian doesn’t move and Guan Shan squeezes his eyes shut. He’s going to cry again, the frustration bubbling sourly in the back of his throat. He doesn’t trust himself to open the door while He Tian is still here because he knows he’ll probably let him in.

‘Do I really make you feel like a failure?’

Guan Shan rubs at his eyes with his fist. His voice comes hoarse and thick: ‘I am a failure. Bein’ around you just makes it so much more fuckin’ obvious.’

He doesn’t want He Tian’s pity when he says this, or his reassurance. He’s just being honest. Saying it out loud is kind of breathlessly relieving. He couldn’t say something like that to his mother, or any of the teachers at school. He couldn’t say it to Grey, who he’s known for years. He Tian knows more about him than anyone. It’s a terrifying thought.

If they never see each other again, will He Tian tell everyone the things Guan Shan has told him? About the restaurant and his dad, or about She Li and the things Guan Shan has let him do to him? He feels vulnerable and sick thinking about it, completely powerless, as he does a lot of the time when he’s around He Tian.

He oscillates between that feeling of uselessness and the feeling of being so empowered that he thinks it must be what being high or drunk feels like. That latter has him trusting his own convictions, having an unadulterated faith in himself like jumping from a bridge and thinking he might just fly—so long as He Tian is with him. He doesn’t like how it’s one or the other, empowered or powerless, and rarely anything in between. He’s heard adults on TV talking about being codependent, pulled punishingly into each other's orbit, and he wonders if this is the same thing.

In the end he supposes it doesn’t really matter. So what if He Tian tells everyone? Probably, he won’t see the rest of the year out at school. He’ll get a job on a different side of the city and no one will hear from him ever again. The embarrassment will all be internal and will only last a week or two. Then life will move on. He wishes he were older and wiser and better at believing this. He wishes it didn’t feel like the universe might fall out from beneath him.

‘Doesn’t matter what I do, it turns to shit,’ he tells He Tian. ‘No matter how hard I work, I’m never gonna earn enough. I can spend three hours studyin’ for a test and still come last. If it isn’t She Li, then it’ll be someone else. I just—I can’t catch a fuckin’ break, He Tian. But you do somethin’ and you come first every time. Life’s so easy for you.’

He Tian shifts from side to side. ‘Do you think things wouldn’t feel so hard if you stopped focussing on what you think my life is like?’

‘You’re pissin’ me off.’

‘I don’t know how I’m meant to help you. You won’t let me give you money. It’s like pulling teeth from you just trying to know what’s going on with you. What are you so fucking afraid of?’

‘I never asked for your help.’

‘You shouldn’t have to—that’s why we’re friends.’

‘I never said I wanted to be your friend.’

He Tian frowns, his look very serious. He isn’t teasing tonight. Neither is Guan Shan. There is the sense that their interactions are always anything but teasing, really, some dark undercurrent that runs between the two of them like dark veins.

He Tian says, ‘Are those fish?’

For a moment Guan Shan thinks he’s joking, deflecting wildly to distract from the seriousness of what Guan Shan has just said. Then he feels the crinkle of a plastic bag in his hand and, remembering how he’d just spent the last few hours, nearly drops the two goldfish onto the floor.

‘Yeah,’ he says.

‘You don’t have a tank.’

‘Yeah, no. I don’t know why I bought them.’

He Tian hesitates. There is a curious, predictable gleam in his eyes. ‘Red and black?’

‘It’s all they had left at the store.’

He Tian is looking intently at the bag. ‘Do you remember when we went to the aquarium? And you said I wasn’t someone you could forget?’

‘I just meant that—’

‘I know what you meant. But I always pretend like you meant it the other way.’

Guan Shan thinks, Don’t you think things would be easier if you stopped focusing on what you want me to mean and what I actually mean?

Instead of saying anything, he looks down at his sneakers. They’re scuffed and starting to rip at the seams. The thought of having to buy new ones makes him panic and the thought of buying a pair of second-hand ones online makes him panic even more. There’s no shame in it, but the thought of wearing someone else’s clothes makes him feel strange, especially when he knows He Tian could buy fifty pairs without blinking.

Guan Shan considers that thought and replays what He Tian has just said about focusing on his life too much more than his own. Maybe part of that is true.

Before He Tian, did he always feel things so intensely? Did the bad always feel so fucking awful? He knows that things were mechanical, and he was mean and didn’t think much about other people in particularly nice ways. He knows he didn’t laugh much then, or have dinners and sleepovers with friends. He knows everything hurt on a distant, muted level that was easy to ignore. Not much time has passed since then, and he reasons that nothing about him has probably changed, just everything else around him.

‘I can’t understand why you won’t let me help you,’ says He Tian, when the silence has stretched too long.

‘Because I’ll get used to it.’

He Tian frowns, not understanding.

‘One day, you’re not gonna be around. And I’ll be fucked.’

‘I’ll always be there for you.’

‘You don’t know that. People say that a lot and then they disappear or get taken away, even if they didn’t want to.’

It’s obvious they’re talking about his dad, but it feels safer to talk about things in vague, subjective conversation. Maybe things would be easier if they talked openly about things and didn’t use metaphors and hypotheticals. As it is, Guan Shan doesn’t feel ready to try the alternative. He is conscious of the fact that this feels like a conversation. They are passing words back and forth that hold meaning and neither of them has touched the other yet. It feels new and fragile as an oil painting, still wet, and so he doesn’t let himself think about this for long.

‘I think you’re getting this wrong,’ says He Tian. ‘I’m not asking you to rely on me. Obviously, I’d kind of like that. I like the thought of you needing me, and I know that says something about me. But—I’m just asking you to let me help you. Just here and there, no strings.’

Guan Shan rubs his forehead with the back of his knuckles. His keys are starting to pinch his skin and he can feel a headache starting to surface.

‘I’m tired,’ he says. ‘I actually do want you to go.’

He Tian’s jaw clenches and he breathes out heavily through his nose. He’s probably thinking he’s wasted his time.

‘Okay,’ he says then. ‘But we’re not done.’

A new wave of exhaustion comes over Guan Shan, crippling and final. He wants to get into bed with his skin against cold sheets and sleep for twelve hours without waking once.

‘You’re not the only one that ever gets to decide that,’ he tells He Tian, a little sharply. ‘You’ve gotta learn to let people go.’

‘But what if I know I can help them?’ says He Tian. ‘If I don’t, I’ve just—failed.’

They look at each other.

A minute stretches into an eternity that could be seconds or hours, and everything has gone backwards. Everything is the same.

Guan Shan can’t put his finger on what has just happened, but he feels like laughing. Their fears are twinned, self-perpetuating, some kind of ouroboros chasing its tail. Who will get caught first?

They both seem to take in a breath at the same time, and He Tian takes a step back.

‘Goodnight,’ he says.

Guan Shan nods. He waits for He Tian’s retreating back to disappear a few flights down before opening the door to his apartment, and shuts it swiftly behind him.

/

There’s a knock at the door while he’s brushing his teeth. The fish are swimming placidly in their bag on the edge of the bathroom sink. It’s past one, and he keeps all the lights off because his eyes are feeling sore. He’s adjusted to the dim glow that comes from street lamps seeping through the curtains, the blink of the timer on the electric stove, his Xbox gleaming in his bedroom. His mother shouldn’t be home yet and she has her own set of keys.

With a sinking heart, Guan Shan pictures his landlord demanding payment.

Worse, he pictures He Tian. Before He Tian left, they’d resolved nothing. It feels like being back to square one, chasing each other around a chess board. It fills him with a vast emptiness that makes him feel like he’s existing outside of himself, waiting for someone else to take over.

He pads silently towards the front door, his toothbrush jammed into his cheek, and peers through the viewer. There’s toothpaste dripping down his chin. In the hall, there’s no one there. He’s half-convinced he imagined it. He counts to ten before he opens the door, steps out—and his foot connects with something hard. There is a cardboard box sitting on the welcome mat.

Guan Shan peers around. The light in the stairwell is artificially bright. He kneels down and opens the tabs on the box, which hasn’t been taped. He swallows.

For the fish, says the note on the second box, nestled inside the first. Careful, it’s fragile.

Guan Shan rubs the heel of a palm into his right eye. He sighs. Then he reaches out, braces himself, and picks up the tank. He carries it into his apartment, and the door locks behind him.

/

thank you for reading! if you’d like to support me on my ko-fi/request a short drabble, you can do so here: https://ko-fi.com/agapaic 💞

[zorosq]

settled ; cat burglar nami

↻ fluff, near drowning experience, platonic shit, grammatical mistake cuz i suck at english, some cussing, straw hat reader, slight zoro x reader 👀

↻ pairing ↬ nami x fem!reader!

@heartsforteruhashi asked: hellooo!!! :) could i possibly request a platonic nami scenario or smth and the reader sees nami as a big sister while nami sees the reader as a younger sister? and like the scenario is just a super cute one where they go shopping to help calm the reader down because of some sort of accident? thank u sm!! also good luck on your midterms<33

a/n thank you! i'm actually taking my final exam. since we had online class almost the entire year of last year, we're still in the same year to make up for last year :) i hope this is good cuz i enjoy writing this!

It was yet another 'normal' day on Sunny. You relaxing with the girls while the boys cause chaos or simply relaxing. Which... wasn't often. It was normal until Luffy decided that he wanted to eat a random big bird that flew on top of the Sunny.

It was definitely normal. But that was until he accidentally slammed the bird down way too hard, causing the ship to sway violently, and threw you off board. Yeah, you were still learning how to swim. "Help!"

"Luffy, you idiot! You just knocked Y/n off the ship!" Nami scolded while Zoro jumped into the deep sea and come to your rescue. Once you were back on deck, you coughed out the water that you had swallowed a little, feeling the burn in your throat due to the salty water.

Nami quickly came to your aid with two towel in her hand. The bigger one was wrapped around you while the smaller one was to dry your hair. She kept on mumbling about how 'Luffy is so stupid' and 'He wouldn't have been alive till this day if it wasn't for me.'

Your shivered at the slight cold breeze, Sanji arriving in front of you with a hot drink.

Chopper insisted on giving you a few check ups just to make sure you didn't suffer from anything. As the next island came to view, everything was back to normal except for you. You were, no doubt still shakened by the incident earlier. It was as if Death was thinking of visiting you and take you back with him.

Nami gave you a side hug, rubbing your arms comfortingly while saying, 'you're save now'. Her presence brings comfort to you. Something that you didn't have in a long time. She gave you a somewhat sisterly figure. You wished that she was your real sibling instead of the ones that have the same bloodline running through your veins.

"Oh! Why don't we go shopping for new clothes?! And maybe talk about you know who..." Nami suggested as she wiggled her eyebrows. You felt heat rushing to your face, looking away anywhere but her. Coincidentally enough, the scenery that you were looking at was Zoro, still in his drenched green coat that he seems to unwillingly discard off of the top.

Somehow, all the water that was drenching his body still makes him looks hot. You shook your head, dismissing any sort of thoughts about him.

When the Thousand Sunny finally docked at the island, you followed Nami quietly as she rant about clothes and jewellery. The two of you strolled from shop to shop until one of them catches your eyes.

Well, it was a dress shop. The dress looked so beautiful that even Nami had stopped her ranting and noticed how you were staring at it. "Do you like it?" She asked, a big smile plastered on her face. You wanted to say yes, but you held yourself back from saying it. "It's pretty," You said instead.

"We can buy it if you want. Who knows, maybe he would love to see you in a dress..." Nami teased. "Stop it..."

"Let's get inside and try it on!" She pulled your arm and went inside the shop. The dress that you saw earlier were held up by Nami. She was trying to picture you in that dress to see if it fits. "Hmmm... you would look good in it! Go on, try it! I can't wait!"

"N-Nami, what about the price? It's expensive! Even if it looks good on me, it doesn't mean that we can buy it!" You tried to make an excuse. In all honestly, you were more scared of Nami's lies than Usopp's.

For all you knew, she could be buying you the dress now and would ask you to pay her back later. (Yes, you've seen her done that to you and the others a few times already.)

You finally sigh in defeat, taking the dress out of her hand and went inside the changing room.

When you went out to show her the dress, she gasped loudly. "Y/n! You look so pretty! Of course I'm prettier, but that's not important!" She complimented. "Wow, I bet every guys, and girls! Are probably going to swoon looking at you in that dress,"

.

In the end, she bought the dress for you and insist that you should wear it immediately. Your cheeks flushed at the thoughts of people gawking over you. Quite embarrassing if you ask me.

When everyone had finally gathered back at the ship, Sanji almost fainted because of his nose bleed. "A-Angel!" He screamed. Looking around, you get to see everyone's reaction of you in the dress.

Luffy was just smiling and said that the dress looks beautiful, Usopp has a slight pink dusting his cheeks, Chopper kept on complimenting you and Robin gave you an aproving look.

"You look SUPERRRR cute!" Franky complimented. "Yohohohoho~ can I see your panties?" Brook asked resulting in Nami punching his head- skull. When your eyes finally landed on Zoro, the two of you made eye contact for a moment before he looks away.

But not before you realize the blush that was covering his face. Nami nudged at your side with a smirk. She had really calmed your nerves from the earlier event. You had completely forgotten about the fact that you had almost drown.

Before you could think twice, you find yourself hugging her form tightly, catching her by surprise. "Thank you," You whispered. She returned your hug. "Anytime,"

[queenshelby]

Just Friends – Part Nine

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Words: 4,515

Warning: Smut, Mention of Pregnancy, Birth Control and Abortion

***Worries***

When you woke up the next morning, your little mishap the night before was on your mind and you weren’t quite yourself, worrying about all of the possible scenarios.

Cillian noticed immediately that something wasn’t right but, with everything that was going on, the arguments with your parents and his heavy filming schedule, you decided not to tell him. You believed that there was no need to worry him at this point.

But, after yet another fall out with your father during breakfast on the day of his birthday, you broke out in tears. Your emotions got the better of you.

‘Are you alright Y/N?’ Cillian asked as he followed you to your room. He knew that you weren’t as, usually, your father’s comments would not have gotten to you upset in the way they did this morning.

‘I just don’t know why he won’t just accept you. You are the best that happened to me in a long time’ you cried.

‘Y/N, I am a fair bit older than you and, by what I gather from his comments, he is concerned that I am not genuine about our relationship. He seems to have a strange misconception about actors, but I am sure he will come around over time’ Cillian said calmly, taking you into his arms just as your mother walked into the room and asked you whether you would still be able to pick up your grandmother from the train station at 11 o’clock.  

‘How about I get her and you spend some time with your parents’ Cillian suggested and you reminded him that you were meant to pick up the birthday cake as well and that you promised Max to take him with you so he could go to the toyshop in town. His grandfather had given him $20 pounds and he was very keen to spend it on some more LEGO.

Cillian suggested that he take Max with him instead and you agreed, thanking him for doing this for you.

***Trip to Town***

After Cillian had picked up your grandmother, he remembered that you had been talking about a jewellery shop in Birmingham that you liked. It stocked several vintage items and vintage jewellery was your secret obsession.

It was your birthday in three weeks and Cillian hadn’t gotten you a present yet. Your grandmother was kind enough to show him the location of the shop and suggested that she would go and get the cake while him and Max choose something nice for you for your birthday.

Cillian accepted your grandmother’s offer and him and Max went to the store. It was obvious that you shopped there frequently as the owner of the shop recognised Max and immediately asked about you.

‘So, I guess you are looking for a present for Y/N’s birthday?’ she asked Max and Cillian while Cillian looked at the different necklaces and earrings on display.

He had no idea what to get you, but the shop assistant showed him several necklaces she thought you might like while Max wandered through the shop.

To Cillian, all the necklaces looked pretty much the same and it took him about a minute to realise that Max walked off. He quickly excused himself before looking for Max, who was standing in front of a different display cabinet.

‘How about a ring… maybe this one?’ Max suggested after he took Cillian’s hand and dragged him half way across to the other side of the shop.

The shop assistant couldn’t help but giggle as Cillian took in a deep breath, being surprised by Max’s suggestion. The ring Max had chosen was a $7,000 pound engagement ring with an emerald in the middle and several diamonds imbedded in the gold band.

‘Mum’s favourite colour is green you know’ he added with a big grin on his face as he looked at the ring.

‘Max, you don’t usually give a ring as a present to a woman unless…’ Cillian said as he kneeled down in front of Max in order to have this conversation with him but, before he could finish his sentence, Max interrupted him.

‘I know. You only give a woman a ring when you want to marry her Don’t you want to marry my mum?’ Max asked and Cillian’s eyes widened while his chin dropped. He didn’t expect this question from Max.

‘Uhm…’ Cillian swallowed, unsure how respond to Max’s question and there immediately was an awkward silence in the shop as both, Max and the shop assistant looked at Cillian with wide eyes.

Cillian was speechless and simply chuckled before collecting his thoughts.

‘I am curious Max, how would you feel if I did want to marry your mum? Would you be ok with it?’ Cillian then went on to ask, trying not to answer Max’s question directly. After all, you haven’t even been together for six months but it certainly would be a possibility in the near future.

‘I would like that because then you would be my dad and that would be pretty cool’ Max explained, causing Cillian to chuckle and give him a hug.

‘That would be pretty cool, I agree. But you know that I am looking out for you anyway, right? Even if your mum and I aren’t married’ Cillian said with a warm smile before messing up Max’s hair as he usually does with his boys when they are being cheeky.

‘I know’ Max responded before giving Cillian a hug which was just when your grandmother arrived at the shop.

‘We are still looking at a birthday present for mum’ Max sighed and your grandmother got involved immediately, helping Cillian decide on a nice necklace and earrings for your birthday.

‘I am just going to pay for these and then meet you at the toy shop?’ Cillian asked, hoping that your grandmother would take Max to the toyshop so that he could buy the LEGO he wanted.

‘Sure, take your time’ your grandmother said as she took Max’s hand before leaving the jewellery shop.

***Birthday Party***

The remainder of the day went well, even to the point where your father and Cillian had a couple of beers together after dinner.

Immediately following dinner, Cillian and your father went outside to talk. They were there for thirty minutes, outside in your father’s men shed and you were rather concerned when Cillian and him had left together. Surely this wont end well you thought but, to your surprise, when they returned, all was well. Much better than before.

Curious about what had happened, you asked Cillian what they talked about. But, Cillian didn’t tell you. All he told you was that they had resolved their differences and you didn’t dare to question it any further.

***Sarah***

The following day, you and Cillian made your way to Manchester while Max stayed with your parents. Cillian had to return to filming and you were eager to finally meet the crew and also share a bed with him again.

But, there was one person you were not keen to meet and this was Cillian’s ex-girlfriend Sarah who, out of all people, portrayed Thomas Shelby’s current love interest on Peaky Blinders. She had been harassing Cillian for weeks now, calling him numerous times and sending him numerous text messages.

The thought of her kissing Cillian in front of the camera annoyed you even more so when you finally met her and, after spending an entire day on set, found out about her intentions. It was obvious to you that she wasn’t over Cillian and the fact that he had broken up with her.

She didn’t take you seriously and that was obvious to you. According to Sarah, you are no more but Cillian’s midlife crisis. The young girl he decided to be with to get over her. She was oblivious about the fact that you were living together which is something Cillian never wanted with her.

You were looking after Cillian’s children when he was away and had built a good relationship with Cillian’s family and even his ex-wife. Sarah, on the other hand, never met Cillian’s parents or children.

Regardless of this, Sarah played on the fact that she was having intimate scenes with Cillian as part of the script and she was quite vocal about it.

As such, on your first night in Manchester over dinner with the cast, she even told you about the scene between her and Cillian earlier that day which involved him kissing her and touching her half naked body. She also told you not to worry about it because they had done it before for real which, according to her, made it less awkward and easier to film. She said that they knew each other’s bodies, which made you wanted to vomit.

Things escalated when she followed you to the lady’s bathroom and told you about having had sex in Cillian’s trailer once about a year ago. Following this statement, she implied that she would do it again if he was up for it.

But, the fact that she was acting like an idiot didn’t bother you. It was the fact that Cillian had forgotten to inform you about his earlier scene with Sarah which caused in your first fight with him since you moved in together.

***Making Up***

‘And this is exactly what she wants Y/N, getting us to fight because of her’ Cillian said angrily as he closed the apartment door behind him while you hung up your coat and took off your shoes.

‘We wouldn’t be fighting if you had told me about kissing her on set today…for fuck sake Cillian’ you shouted, throwing your handbag onto the floor besides you.

‘This is my fucking job Y/N, nothing more. Do you actually think that I enjoy filming scenes like this?’ Cillian asked somewhat flustered.

‘Well, you used to fuck her so I don’t know’ you sighed as you started to aggressively unbutton your blouse.

Cillian was speechless. He didn’t know what you were doing and whether you were, in fact, still angry with him or wanted sex. Perhaps both were applicable?

‘Well yes, we used to be together which means we had sex’ Cillian said somewhat annoyed, looking at you as you were getting undressed rather quickly. ‘What are you doing Y/N?’ he then went on to ask, unsure whether he should approach you or not.

‘How thin are the walls of this apartment?’ you asked as you dropped your bra to the floor. By this point, you had undressed yourself almost completely, leaving you in nothing but your panties.

‘Thin’ Cillian responded with a chuckle as it became evident to him what you were doing. Sarah’s apartment was right next to his and she got back to the apartment building before you did. You could hear her TV in the background.

‘Alright then Mr Murphy. I am laying my claim. You better fuck me hard and good’ you chuckled as you walked over towards Cillian, wearing nothing but your panties.

‘When have I ever not fucked you good, eh?’ Cillian smirked, jokingly using his Tommy accent to respond to you before he kissed you hard.

‘Did you think about me when you had this scene today?’ you smirked, biting your lip suggestively, as soon as you pulled away from the kiss.

‘If I would have thought about you, this would have happened and I certainly didn’t want to give her that kind of satisfaction’ Cillian smirked as he brought your hand down to his crotch. You could feel his raging erection strain against his jeans.

‘I never wanted anyone as much as I want you Y/N. You are driving me fucking crazy’ Cillian then went on to say before kissing you again passionately. You parted your mouth slightly and your body ignited at the intrusion of his tongue. Cillian groaned as he tasted your mouth and your nipples hardened as you pressed against his chest, ready for his hands and lips.

He broke off the kiss with a ragged sigh before pulling his t-shirt over his head in a haste and getting rid of his jeans.

Cillian then ran his hands over your breasts and down in between your legs, over the top of your soaking panties. His eyes flickered back and forth. He starred at you with his deep blue eyes, taking in your curves.

‘What?’ you giggled as you noticed his stare. His fingers were gently tracing over your thighs.  

‘I've barely touched you and you're dying for me to fuck you’ Cillian observed before he pulled down your panties.

You stepped backwards, leaving your panties lie on the floor, before letting yourself fall onto the bed.

The wave of anger over Sarah actually made your vision haze over for a second. But you soon forgot all about it as Cillian hoovered over your naked body.

‘You are so fucking sexy, you know that?’ Cillian whispered, his mouth at your ear.

You threw your head back and moaned as he moved his lips downwards and lightly tugged at your already taut nipples. You arched your back, thrusting you breasts into his face, silently begging for more.

Cillian complied with your request and began sucking one nipple between his teeth. His tongue flicked nimbly across your nipple, and you felt your pussy clench in response.

He kissed his way to your other nipple and teased it until you began squirming and whimpering.

‘Cillian, please fuck me’ you cried loudly. ‘I need your cock inside me’ you moaned.

He released your nipple at last and you looked beseechingly at him.

‘Patience babe’ he said before kissing his way down your stomach slowly until, finally, he reached your mound.

Without any warning, his tongue ran through your slit, causing you to moan loudly.

After several licks, his tongue made its way to your clit, licking circles over it while he inserted two of his fingers, pushing them right against your g-spot.

‘Fuck Cillian, oh god’ you screamed. You weren’t prepared for this sensation so quickly. Usually, he was taking it slow so that you weren’t overwhelmed with the intensity.

But not tonight. He gave you no time to get used to the sensation and, while he used one hand to push your squirming legs apart, he used the other to finger you.

The tip of his fingers flicked against your g-spot over and over again while his lips sucked on your clit and it wasn’t long until you felt your orgasm hit you like speed train.

‘Oh my fucking god yes’ you moaned as you held onto Cillian’s hair, your legs quivering and shaking while his fingers thrusted in and out of you.

Cillian smiled against your mound. You were incredibly loud when he stimulated your g-spot, so loud that, previously, one of the boys stormed into the bedroom to see whether you were alright.

Luckily, he saw nothing as Cillian was quick to pull the doona over you both when he heard the door opening and, following this incident, you installed a door lock and you tried your best to control your moans.

But tonight, you didn’t hold back. You wanted Sarah to hear how much pleasure Cillian was giving you after having dealt with her terrible behaviour all day.

Just as you came down from your high, Cillian kissed his way back up to your breasts and neck before whispering into your ears.

‘On your knees’ he instructed, knowing very well how loud you are when he takes you from behind. It was your favourite position.  

Your stomach fluttered as Cillian took off his briefs and lined himself up with your entrance.

Slowly, he entered you, inch by inch, stretching your lips wide. Your legs were fatigued, but that was hardly going to stop you from taking him deeper and deeper until Cillian settled on an animal rhythm that only a climax could complete.

He gave you no time to adjust as he kept thrusting into you, hard and fast.

‘Push back against me babe’ Cillian ordered and you complied with his request, allowing him to drive into you deeper and deeper with each thrust.

You arched you back and gasped as Cillian brought one of his hands in between your legs, rubbing your clit while he kept thrusting into you.

You almost squealed as he was pleasuring you, taking you hard from behind.

‘Louder’ Cillian instructed, enjoying your moans and screams.

‘Cillian’ you cried and, just as you did, he pulled your upper body up against his, forcing you to hold on to the railing of the bedhead.

He kissed your neck forcefully, thrusting into you while rubbing your clit at the same time.

You felt the pleasure between your thighs sharpen to a spring-loaded bundle of nerves that Cillian’s body would set off in a matter of seconds. God, his body was miraculous.

You cried out his name over and over again as your second orgasm radiated through you and he continued to kiss your neck until her body stopped shuddering. Then he buried his face in your neck and grunted with nearly every thrust until, suddenly, he pulled out, allowing his own orgasm to wash over him and covering your back with his hot cum.

You felt his grip on you loosen as he groaned out his pleasure, much louder than he usually would

Between ragged breaths, Cillian quickly cleaned up your back and you almost instantly collapsed on the bed together.

‘Jesus’ he panted. ‘That makes me want to fuck you again’ he added.

‘We’ve got all night babe’ you smiled, pulling Cillian closer for a kiss before getting him ready for another round with your skilled hands and mouth.

***Time for Goodbye***

The next morning you accompanied Cillian to set for two hours before making your way back home to Dublin. Your grandmother and Max were already on their way and would meet you at Manchester airport later.

With a coffee in your hand, you sat on a chair in the make up room while Laura, the make up artist, applied Cillian’s make up.

Sarah was sitting next to him, having her hair done and make up applied and you couldn’t help but grin at her as you were enjoying your coffee.

‘Time for the tattoos Cilly’ Laura said and Cillian reluctantly took off his t-shirt, causing you to giggle. Your cheeks were flushed red and Cillian apologised to Laura in advance.

‘Did you get attacked by a tiger?’ Laura chuckled as she observed several scratch marks on Cillian’s back and a few small bruises on his neck.

‘Not exactly’ Cillian chuckled while Sarah sighed, trying not to look at Cillian but failing miserably.

‘And this is why we don’t usually allow partners on set. It creates too much work for the make up artists’ Anthony grinned with amusement as he sat down across from Cillian, discussing the schedule for the day with him.

‘There must be some kind benefit of being a producer of the show, right?’ Cillian chuckled and Anthony certainly didn’t argue his point.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t long after Cillian’s make up was finished until you had to leave, catching your flight back to Dublin.

Cillian and you shared some kisses and, with a small tear escaping your eye, you said goodbye and went on your way.

You knew you wouldn’t see Cillian until your birthday, which was three weeks away.

Not long after you arrived at home, something else arrived and that was period. It was way more than a week early but you didn’t complain following your little mishap three days ago. You were relieved and immediately made an appointment with your gynaecologist Lucy to get the IUD.

She had recommended it to you a few weeks ago when she visited your house and you had an open conversation with her about your forgetfulness.

Lucy wasn’t just your gynaecologist, but also a close friend. Her daughter went to kindergarten with Max and Cillian’s youngest son. Whilst you were afraid of the procedure, you trusted her advice as a doctor and as a friend and you discussed the available options with Cillian who, again, made it very clear to you that he didn’t want any more children. At that point, neither did you but you certainly believed in keeping your options open.

***Surprise Surprise***

‘Hi Y/N, how are you going?’ Lucy asked before offering a seat in her office.

‘Pretty good, how about you?’ you asked before taking a seat.

You looked around her office for a minute while Lucy brought up your blood test results and the results from the urine sample you had dropped off at the surgery the day before. To your surprise, she didn’t have anything prepared for your procedure.

‘Is everything alright?’ you asked, looking at her as she looked through the test results, one by one.

She took in a deep breath before she responded to your question.

‘We cannot do the procedure Y/N’ she then went on to say.

‘Why? I filled my prescription for the IUD already and I am keen to get it done as soon as possible’ you explained as you placed the box containing the IUD onto Lucy’s desk.

‘Well, you won’t be needing it Y/N. In fact, you won’t be needing any contraception for a while’ she then chuckled before turning the screen around so that you could see it.

Your heart skipped a beat as she pointed to the results of the urine test. The results read ‘PREGNANT’ in red capital letters.

‘Oh my god’ you shuddered, your hands shaking violently just as you broke out in tears.

Lucy handed you a box of tissues before taking your hand into hers. She didn’t know what to say. After all, she knew that you and Cillian weren’t planning on having children.

‘So, tell me, did you bleed?’ she then asked when you finally calmed down a little from your shock. She was curious why you didn’t notice being late with your period as, from your records, you were quite regular when it came to your menses.

‘Yeah, a little, about three weeks ago. It wasn’t much and I didn’t think about it because I figured that it was breakthrough bleeding when I stopped the pill…well I forgot my pill and then didn’t take it again…oh my fucking god…this cannot be happening’ you cried hysterically again, losing your words.

‘My guess is that it was implantation bleeding but I would like to do a quick ultrasound if that’s alright with you’ Lucy went on to say.

‘Is there not something I can take, like tablets or something?’ you asked, still in shock that you were pregnant.

‘Is this what you want?’ Lucy went on to ask and you simply took in a deep breath before telling her that you weren’t sure. You never thought about going through another pregnancy especially after Cillian had told you that he was done having children.

You explained the situation to Lucy and she convinced you to have the ultrasound anyway as, even if you decide to terminate the pregnancy, she wanted to ensure that you weren’t experiencing a pregnancy outside your uterus which could be life threatening.

You reluctantly agreed to have the ultrasound and Lucy took you into another room to perform it.

‘This will be a little uncomfortable’ Lucy said as she inserted the camera before starting to push slightly upwards, looking for your baby.

Then Lucy stilled, taking several screen shots while you held your breath. She was awfully close to your bladder which made you wanting to go to the bathroom badly.

‘Is everything alright?’ you asked as Lucy was silent. She didn’t talk to you while she looked at the ultrasound machine and her mind seemed to be ticking over.

‘Is Cillian home?’ she then asked and you shook your head.

‘He comes back home late tonight for my birthday this weekend. Why are you asking?’ you asked just as she withdrew the camera from inside you and handed you a towel so that you could clean yourself up.

‘Because you might need someone with you to digest the news’ Lucy said before taking in a deep breath.

‘Is there something wrong?’ you asked as you could see the concern on her face.

‘No, everything looks pretty good so far but, you aren’t just pregnant with one baby Y/N. You are pregnant with twins’ Lucy said and you immediately thought that this was a very bad joke.

‘Excuse me?’ you barely managed to say and Lucy immediately showed you the pictures she had taken on which she marked one small black spot as ‘B1’ and another ‘B2’.

‘Two babies, one here and one here…right where they should be’ she pointed out before explaining to you that the twins weren’t identical. There were two sacs and it certainly explained your bleeding. ‘You are just over 5 weeks along by what I can see, which means that you would have conceived the twins when you went over to the UK last’ she explained.

‘Fuck…’ you said before breaking out in tears again. ‘Cillian doesn’t want another child. He was quite clear about this when we got together and now I have to tell him that I am pregnant with not just one, but two babies? Can’t you just give me something Lucy? I beg you’ you cried.

‘I can but you do need to talk to him Y/N. This is my advice as your friend. He deserves to know and make this decision with you, don’t you think?’ Lucy said calmly, holding your hand and you nodded.

‘If you decide to terminate, I will see you next week and we will discuss alright? If you are going to keep the pregnancies, text me and I will give you a referral to the maternity hospital’ she then went on to say and you stayed in her office for another five minutes before having calmed down enough before driving back home.

You struggled with the thought of being pregnant but had to keep calm and collect your thoughts. After all, you had to pick up Max and Cillian’s boys following your appointment.

When you picked them, you barely coped and simply grabbed take away for dinner before putting them in front of the TV for the remainder of the afternoon. Luckily, being a Friday night, they were tired after a week at school and kindergarten and it was easy to get them to bed on time despite the fact that Cillian was due to arrive at 9 o’clock.

When Cillian arrived shortly after 9 o’clock, you didn’t get up to greet him and he noticed immediately that something was wrong.

‘What’s wrong babe? Are you alright?’ Cillian asked worried as he saw that you had been crying. Your eyes were red and your face was flushed.

‘No Cillian, I am not ok. We need to talk’ you said just as more tears began to build up in your eyes.

   Tag List (Cillian):

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[phati-sari]

Arshi FF: Tere Bin - Chapter 8

Read from the beginning | Chapter 7

Chapter 8: Ranjha (listen while reading)

Khushi

“What was he doing here?”

Khushi answered without turning, her head resting on the window sill as she studied the moon. “I don’t know.”

It’d taken a long time to escape to the room she shared with her sister after they’d first stepped through the doors. First, Amma had asked about the hospital visit, making Khushi recite everything the Doctor Sahib had said while Bua-ji interrupted often to ask questions. Babu-ji had soon taken over, asking to see the paperwork Khushi had collected and asking a few questions of his own. Still full from the gol gappe, Khushi had nibbled on some puri under Jiji’s watchful gaze while the family considered the payment plan the clinic had laid out.

Luckily, no one had asked exactly how she’d gotten home.

“You were in his car, Khushi.” Jiji came to stand next to her, her tone coloured with disapproval.

“The auto broke down. He was driving past.”

“He, of all the people in Lucknow and Delhi, just happened to be driving by? At the exact moment your auto broke down?”

An odd defensiveness flared in her chest, words popping out of her mouth before she’d thought them through.

“What can I say, Jiji? My phone’s battery was dead, it was dark. He offered to drop me home.”

Jiji reached out to touch her shoulder. “Did he fight with you again?”

No, he bought me gol gappe.

“No more than usual,” Khushi tried to smile at her sister. “I’m fine. Really. He drove me home. That’s all.”

Though she looked unconvinced, Jiji stepped away with a nod to ready herself for bed. Khushi waited until she was alone to snatch her bag from where it hung on a hook. Her searching fingers found the business card he’d offered.

“Well, it’s just that you like arguing so much, and we argue so often … I think we should keep in touch.”

At the time, she’d been so startled that she’d simply taken the card and slid from the car without answering. Jiji, fortunately, had been too busy scowling at him through the windows to notice as she’d slipped it into her bag.

The card was thick, the surface almost velvety to the touch. It sported a bright red logo in the top corner and announced his name in crisp black letters — ARNAV SINGH RAIZADA. Khushi shook her head to clear the unbidden memory of correcting his name on hundreds of letters.

The writing on the card included a number she recognised for the reception desk at the head offices and an email address that his managers monitored. But he’d scrawled another number untidily along one side with a black pen.

His personal number, Khushi realised with a jolt.

It felt strangely intimate, though logic reminded her that she’d had the same number saved in her phone before he’d broken it on the storeroom floor.

Why is he still in Lucknow?

On the heels of this thought came another: Why should I care?!

Her mind was suddenly awhirl with memories — raised voices and shouted words, a fall from his window, the broken door to the storeroom. His airs about money and power. The terror of the guesthouse.

Khushi ripped the business card in half, her breath coming in rapid pants, and then tore it into even smaller pieces. Tears stung in her eyes. She scrunched the pieces into her palm as Jiji returned to the room.

“Make sure you wake up early tomorrow,” her sister draped her towel near the window. “We’re going to the temple.”

“Okay.”

Waiting until Jiji was occupied with something in the cupboard, Khushi returned the ruined card to her bag. In the bathroom, she brushed her teeth and washed her face before studying her reflection. Her pulse was a chaotic drumbeat in her body, her thoughts a wild tangle. And underneath it all was something that thrilled and scared her at the same time, something that had followed her to Lucknow.

                                    #####

“Everything leads back to him,” Jiji had groaned, rolling on her side on the bed they shared. “Just go to sleep quietly.”

It had been a week since they’d returned to Lucknow, and Khushi had been comparing the price of potatoes between Lucknow and Delhi. Or at least, that was how the conversation had started. She couldn’t remember how they’d gotten to talking about that Laad Governor.

“You’re right Jiji. We’re in Lucknow now and we’ll soon forget that we ever went to Delhi. Or that we met such cruel, haughty people. Although … Anjali-ji had such sweetness in her. It’s a shame that we had to leave without saying goodbye to her. At least we met one nice person in Delhi. Oh … and Nani-ji. Maybe two nice people. And Aakash-ji, I suppose, though —”

“— Khushi! Are you going to count out every member of his family? Your mind is like a compass that’s always stuck on him!”

“And why wouldn’t it be?” Khushi had asked hotly. “He sent me there to do some meaningless task, knowing the place was about to collapse.”

“I know. You’ll never have to see him again, Khushi. You resigned from that awful job, you gave him an earful, and now you’re here and he’s there.”

The words should have elated her, but they only left her feeling strangely hollow.

                                    #####

That hollowness sat heavily inside her as Khushi joined her sister in their bed a few minutes later, sliding between the covers with a sigh.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Jiji’s voice was soft in the dimness.

“Yes.”

“You barely ate dinner.”

“I’m not hungry.”

A short silence, in which Khushi’s mind unhelpfully replayed the way she’d fallen into his arms yet again.

Oh Devi Maiyya, couldn’t you find another place to make me slip? You mustn’t have liked the offering I left you this morning.

“I’m glad we came back to Babu-ji,” Jiji said softly. “I can’t imagine being away from home at a time like this.”

“The doctors said that as long as he rests properly and takes his medicines, there’s nothing to worry about.”

“He isn’t resting nearly enough, even with both of us at the shop.”

Khushi nodded her agreement, “He’s worried about the bills.”

“Bua-ji and Amma are talking about selling some jewellery. I thought I’d give them my bangles.”

“I have bangles we can sell too.”

It took a while for Jiji’s breathing to fall into the deep, slow rhythm of sleep. Khushi lay awake, her thoughts chasing each other in ever-tightening spirals.

The night of the photoshoot. The softness of her pallu as it slipped. The scorch of his gaze as it roved over her body and left her feeling singed. The electricity between them on Teej, every touch a bolt of lightning. The weight of him pressing into her in the storeroom.

She flushed, skin prickling and warmth blooming in secret places.

Stop it, Khushi. A handful of gol gappe is all it takes for you to forget his cruelty?

She turned onto her side with a huff. Sometimes it felt as though her life had been split into Before and After, as though falling at the fashion show had created an entirely new Khushi Kumari Gupta. A Khushi who was strangely compelled towards him, a Khushi who’d come dangerously close to swooning in his arms today. A Khushi who wanted something she had no name for.

“I didn’t know the situation at the guesthouse was that bad!”

“Do you really think I would’ve sent you there if I’d known? Is that what you think of me?”

For the first time, she allowed herself to entertain the idea that he hadn’t sent her there on purpose.

So what if he hadn’t? I was still trapped there for an entire day. He was wrong.

But the thought was impossible to dislodge now that it’d wormed into her mind. Having assumed he’d wanted to argue every time he’d approached her, she now considered whether he might have been trying to explain. She saw their interactions in a new light. The sweets, the cheque.

Did he feel guilty? Was he trying to say sorry?

She eventually fell into an uneasy sleep, tormented in her dreams by his eyes, his voice, the memory of his touch. She woke just before dawn, breathless and damp with sweat, the sheets tangled with her legs. Flinging them off, Khushi sat up in bed. Her sister made a questioning noise.

“Sleep, Jiji. It’s not time to wake up yet.”

A nameless storm raged in her chest, making it hard to breathe. She squeezed her eyes shut.

I should hate him.

A lurch in her tummy.

But I don’t.

Padding slowly over to her bag, she fished out the pieces of the business card one by one. There was a roll of tape amongst the paper and pens scattered on the table in the corner. Khushi glanced back at her sister as she sat. It took a few minutes to line up the jagged edges, to press the tape along them with trembling fingers until she could read his name again.

He’d set down a challenge. She wouldn’t back down.

    ********

Thanks for reading :) I know some of you may be disappointed with the level of introspection in this chapter and where I chose to end it. Tere Bin is Arnav’s story, one where he has to work out what he wants and how to get it while Khushi is in Lucknow. While I intend to dip into Khushi’s point of view where the story demands it (and I feel that her presence greatly improved Chapters 6 and 7), it will focus heavily on Arnav. I am not intentionally writing something to annoy or disappoint readers. I’m trying to do something very specific with this story, and like all experiments, I’m learning as I go :) 

[colossal-fallout]

[ Classified ]

The full report - Eren Yeager

The following report details all information on Eren Yeager. Contains NSFW content and reader must be over the age of 18 to view this document.

For your eyes only.

Name: Eren Yeager

Birthplace: Shiganshina

Height: 180cm / 5ft 9"

General

[ A1 ]

Appearance & Hygiene practices:

Eren's chestnut brown hair is always clean and fresh. Whenever he pays you a late night visit, he'll have most probably just gotten out of the shower. Coconut scented shampoo of sorts? Whatever it is, it smells so good.

Prefers showers over a bathe. He says it's to save time, but he spends a good 40 - 60 minutes in there, easily.

Once he's dry, likes to throw on jogger bottoms and a hoodie over his bare skin. His bare skin that is now so soft and scented as his favourite shower gel which is either tea-tree oil or Coconut.

If he wants to remain clean shaven, Eren must shave every 2-3 days. Sometimes he likes to grow it out but nothing ever past a long stubble.

Minimal body hair.

Trims the hairs on his pubic bone/lower stomach. Has pleasuring you in mind as he does so. Will take into consideration the friction against you.

Totally clean shaven testicles.

Eren's nails are short but that's because he bites them. [ see section A3 ]

Beautiful set of teeth. Brushes twice daily in a modern AU.

Eren adores it when you brush his hair for him. He finds it extremely relaxing as you massage his scalp. His eyes will close and a small, barely audible hum will emit from time to time.

Eren's skin care routine is pretty basic. All of the steam from sitting in his hot, frequent showers for so long seems to do him wonders - his skin is flawless and worthy of envy.

Due to the healing power of being a Titan shifter, Eren has no scars.

Eren has quite large hands with long fingers. He doesn't wear rings or jewellery as it reminds him of the burden of when he had to keep that damn key on him at all times. Will however, put up with a wedding ring.

[A2]

Body & Love language:

Eren is a pretty introverted person. His hands are usually tucked away inside of his pockets - be it either trousers or hoody/jacket.

He hunches a little too. Likes to feel hidden. He's had enough attention over the years and wants nothing more than to just shrink away in a crowded room. Or maybe, it's the weight of the world on his shoulders.

Brooding, moody exterior. Extreme "resting bitch face"

Shrugs a lot. At first glance, you'd think he was a moody teenager trapped in a grown man's body.

Likes to sit with his feet flat up on the chair with his knees splayed - you'll usually find him like this with an arm resting over a knee while the other is at a 90 degree angle pointing away from his hip.

Fumbles his hands together in formal occasions when he can't sit so casually or tuck them away.

Likes to drape his arm over you without touching you. His arm will rest above you on the top of the chair. A clear indication of "They're mine" and "I will keep you safe"

His hips will usually be swivelled in your direction, regardless of where you are in the room. A subconscious body language of sexual yearning.

Eren likes to hold hands with you when you're walking. He's not huge on PDA but likes the strong yet subtle showings that you're together.

Tends to rub his thumb over the back of your hand absent-mindedly when you do so.

His love languages include physical touch. Can get very needy and touch starved pretty easily. Not in a overbearing way, but even just a run of his slender fingers through your hair is enough to keep him going until the two of you are in a more private setting.

[A3]

Bad Habits & Tendencies:

As mentioned above, Eren bites his finger nails. His toe nails too. It's pretty gross to be honest.

He never does it in public, but he has been known to do it in front of you when he feels comfortable enough to do so.

Get's very fidgety when irritated or annoyed, which is pretty often. Especially if Jean is around.

Short temper. He's learned to tame it more over the years where he doesn't show it so easily. But everyone has their limit and when his is reached, his yell is booming and pretty intimidating.

During an argument with you he has been known to raise his voice, but it's not the frightening roar you've heard him unleash on others before.

Always apologises to you after he's calmed down. Even though it wasn't that bad.

If you two ever have a bad falling out, will lock himself away for days. He'll be pissed at himself for letting it get so bad and depressed that you two are having such problems. But he'll do anything he can to fix it.

[ A4 ]

Common misconceptions:

Obviously everyone has their own cannons and opinions. But I don't personally see Eren as being an abusive partner. Yeah, he has his problems and treats his friends like shit but there's a reason for that we'll probably see in the last chapter. If you're worthy enough to pierce that cold and distant shell, you're a very special person and he'll treat you as such.

Eren actually has a large heart hidden under that huge chip on his shoulder. He cares and loves the people around him unconditionally. Even to the point of carrying out mass genocide to protect them.

Still... He does have a dark side to be weary of at times.

Even though he's gross while in Liberio, usually Eren is actually pretty clean.

[ A5 ]

Food & Drink:

In a Modern AU Eren loves fancy coffees with the weird names. The longer to pronounce, the better. He just likes the fact they give him energy and the fancier ones taste good.

Due to not having meat for so long, a good ol' fashioned beef/lamb stew is his favourite.

Doesn't drink in canon.

Modern AU, his alcoholic beverage of choice is bottles of beer and craft ales. Sometimes is a sucker for red wine.

[ A6 ]

Modern Au:

Eren wears loose clothing. Hoodies, loose jeans, those baggy cardigans too.

His texting style is spam over one long message. Especially if he's pissed off. He's too impatient to sit and type in paragraphs.

Drives a black car. Don't ask me what type, I don't know cars. But it's black, 'kay?

It also has "black ice" air freshener inside.

Likes to ride quads and mopeds along fields. He's a thrill seeker. Rollercoasters, bungee jumping... you name it he's game.

Eren plays the guitar. He took lessons for it but after about a year he just went his own way and self-taught.

If he sees a guitar at a party, he will pick it up and play it. He won't sing though.

He actually hates singing. He finds it embarrassing.

Always has in his air pods/earphones.

Likes any sort of music that is catchy.

Probably streams on Twitch. He won't talk much though.

Could have a wide range of jobs. Coffee shop, could be in college, might be a ride attendant... who knows? It's anyone's guess what Eren is doing. He doesn't talk about himself that much.

Romance & NSFW

[ B1 ]

Crush:

Eren would definitely be in denial he has a crush on you at first.

• “Does y/n seem different to you?”

Armin; “No…? In what way?”

“I dunno… Just, different.”

• His poor stubborn brain would be ticking for weeks as to why he suddenly wants to be near you a lot more often and has urges to touch you, even if it’s just a slight brush against your arm.

• Will find any excuse to do extra training with you

• Once he FINALLY clicks on as to why he’s had these feelings, he’ll be pretty knocked off his feet and a little annoyed at himself.

I’m here to kill the enemy...

• Still though… Can’t seem to keep himself away.

[ B2 ]

First kiss & general kisses:

After the initial denial and keeping himself away, he'll just decide one day he's had enough of feeling this way and decides to to something about it.

He won't shove himself onto you. He'll do some sly probing to see if there is any indication of reciprocation.

Knowing Eren, he'll indirectly piss you off or insult you. He didn't mean to. He's just lacking social skills. Man aint smooth.

You'll slap him, probably, where he'll keep his head away from you for a few seconds, realising he's pushed you too far. Whichever side you palmed him away, he'll stay.

He'll slowly return his gaze to yours before gently holding your arms, apologising and planting his lips onto yours.

His general kisses are quite firm and forceful. Not in an aggressive way, but a "god I want you so bad" way.

Always either slides his arms around your waist or cups your face/head.

He tastes like sweetened tea <3 / Coffee in a Modern AU

Loves coming from behind and snaking his arms around you, nuzzling into your neck when you're doing something. Doesn't like it when your attention is away from him for too long.

When he's feeling soft and tender, will dance his nose with yours and catching your mouth in a caress.

When he's super turned on, he'll suck your tongue, bite your bottom lip and kiss anywhere he can.

[ B3 ]

Sex:

Ha ~~!

Eren is up there with the best when it comes to sex. He knows what he's doing and he does it well.

Extremely skilled with his fingers and tongue. He'll have you crawling the walls with hysteria as he likes to tease you throughout the day. He more than makes up for it, though.

Gropes, nips, kisses, licks, bites, flicks... anywhere and everywhere he can.

Is the most vocal when you perform oral sex on him. Will groan so deeply, his entire body will vibrate.

Dirty talk is this man's second language.

"Look how desperate you are for me." / "Look how desperate for you you've gotten me..."

"Do I feel good like this?"

"Am I making you feel good baby?"

"You're so good at that. Fuck, such a good girl/boy"

"S'so fuckin' tight."

"You're my little fuck thing, aren't you?"

"You're perfect."

"I love you..."

Are some of the many things you'll hear while he's fucking you.

He doesn't really have a favourite position. He'll gladly take you anyway he can. If he's in a rough mood, he'll bend you over the sofa, take you up against the wall... But if he's feeling more soft he'll make slow, passionate love to you for hours.

He does have a strong soft side at times.

Dominic Dominant. He loves seeing you totally at his mercy, the power over you the most arousing thing in the world to him.

Big daddy dilf vibes. He knows what he’s doing and he’s fucking good at it too.

The only time he’ll sub is if he wants to be lazy - letting you ride him and use him to your heart’s content.

Dirty talk. It can get pretty degrading at times. If you’re not into that, he respects that boundary.

Will absolutely ruin you.

Low-key loves it when you claw his back in hysteria. He thrives knowing he can send you absolutely insane, and he can just heal the claw marks in a matter of seconds. Sometimes even during sex (which is the hottest thing ever)

In an AU modern, he would love to fuck you near a large mirror or record you both getting at it to watch at a later date.

A lot of hissing, humming and low groaning, especially when he’s close to unloading.

Likes to watch you masturbate, putting his head close and observing intently. Loses his shit if you moan his name while doing so.

Hair pulling is his overload language. Will tug fistfuls when he gets too turned on.

[ B4 ]

Kinks:

The risk of getting caught. He likes having risky sex in semi public locations. Makes a game of how loud he can get you to moan, knowing someone would probably hear you.

Light Degradation. When he’s in a rough mood, he doesn’t mind calling you a few names. Nothing too extreme. And if it’s not your thing, he’ll respect that boundary.

Loves a good ol’ 69. Having you on his face with your ass in view is just… *Chef’s kiss*

Speaking of ass, he loves to bend you over too, allowing himself in nice and deep with a great view and something Juicy to grab.

[ B5 ]

Aftercare:

Aftercare with Eren isn’t anything special unfortunately. He’s another who gets sleepy after sex.

Won’t ignore you though. Often lazy pillow talk is on the cards and telling you how much you mean to him and how beautiful you are.

Will run his fingers across your scalp to soothe you.

Also will kiss any bite marks or finger bruises he’s left behind and ask if you’re okay.

Relationship with loved ones & becoming serious

[ C1 ]

Friends & Family:

When Eren meet's your friends family he will be polite yet quiet. He wants them to like him but he won't pine for their approval. If they like him, awesome. If they don't...? No big deal.

Same goes with your friends. He'll stay quiet until spoken to at first, but once he's been eased into conversation, he'll flow with it a lot easier.

Again, he'll be polite but don't expect him to kiss ass, because he certainly wont.

[ C2 ]

Marriage:

You couldn’t actually believe Eren had proposed. Although he was down on one knee in front of your very eyes, your mind just wasn’t accepting it. Folks and onlookers watched with bated breath, awaiting your answer. He sure kept this surprise hidden well…

Of course, you said yes and he picked you up by your waist in a spin, colliding his lips to yours.

And now here he was, watching you walk down the aisle, a lump in his throat and his heart racing.

You looked gorgeous, like something from a fairy tale.

And of course, he looked as handsome as ever. His suit was smart and his hair was up in its usual bun.

Armin is his best man, of course; who is standing and beaming with pride.

Eren holds back his chokes and tears as he reads his vows;

“Y/N… From the first time I ever laid eyes on you, all those years ago, I knew you would be in my life forever. Back then, I didn’t think it would be as my wife, but God I am so glad it is. I’m sorry for my stubbornness and irrational behaviour when we were young. But despite that you still loved, and stood by me and for that I’ll be eternally grateful. I vow to always stand beside you, whatever the world throws at us. I vow to hold you when you need support. I vow to remember how you always had my back no matter what. And I vow to always love you, with my heart and soul, until the day I die and after.”

The room erupts in cheers and tears when you seal your kiss.

The reception is wild.

Everyone is drunk (except Levi) and dancing. Reiner and Connie are dancing like weirdos, Reiner's blazer removed and at one point Connie is on his shoulders.

Sasha has too much to drink and is spewing in the bathroom.

Mikasa can’t stop crying with happiness and pride.

He carries you to your room afterwards where you spend all night sealing a special bond that will never be broken.

[ C3 ]

Children:

Eren has a soft spot for children, believe it or not. As seen before the expedition to the forest of giant trees. He sees his old self behind the innocent glint of unaltered admiration within a child's eyes.

He's not super into child play though. He wont pull weird voices or funny faces. He'll sit at their level and speak to them like they were anyone else. Obviously, watching what he says around them.

If they're unchecked and acting themselves, he'll become quickly annoyed as they wreck havoc around him and will have to leave the room or he'll get too agitated.

If his s/o discovers they're pregnant he'll seem to take it well. But inside he's falling apart and freaking out. He won't ever show it to them, but he doesn't know how he could be a father. Would he be like his own? Would he be able to be a good figure to look up to? What if he fails? Is it selfish to bring a child into this cruel world?

He'll be shocked but understandably so. After after a couple of weeks of self-reflection and brooding, he'll start to feel better about the whole thing.

More protective over his s/o than usual. Will make sure they're eating, drinking, resting and god help you if he finds you doing something you shouldn't such as trying to lift something heavy.

Will hold your hair and rub you back, as well as bring you water while you're having your morning sickness.

"Babe? It's four in the afternoon. How come you're still sick?"

"Eren, it's called morning sickness but it can happen any time."

He'll click his tongue. "....That's a dumb name, then."

The first time he feels the baby kick within you, his heart absolutely melts. His eyes enlarge and you could swear you saw them soften with that spark behind his emerald greens he had when you were younger.

His large palm is warm against your stomach as he feels around, the little flutter of your child hitting against his skin making him flinch in surprise at first.

"Woah..." He'll gasp in amazement. "They're already so strong. Hey, y/n? Doesn't that hurt?"

"Sometimes." You'll laugh softly.

He'll gingerly place his face to your skin, a little embarrassed he's doing this; but he feels the need. "...Don't hurt your mom, okay?"

As your pregnancy progresses and you get larger, he will not leave your side. If he has to, he'll be worrying and you'll be occupying his mind. In a modern au, he'll constantly call and text and will get Mikasa or Armin to check in on you often.

Will be so gentle during love making. He's terrified he'll hurt the baby.

One of the only times you've seen Eren panic in his adult life is when your waters break.

You'd gotten up in the middle of the night to pee. Climbed back into bed and felt a strange pressure, followed by a pop. Then a warm gushing sensation. You wait a few seconds to settle your own panic before you nudge Eren awake.

"Eren..."

He'll bolt up, confused. "What? Are you okay? Is the baby okay?"

"Eren, my waters have broken."

"Shit. Okay. Shit. What do we do? Shit." He'll leap out of bed and throw the lights on. You get to your feet where more water will start to drop onto the floor. "Shit, shit. I'll get the bag. Do you need help getting dressed? Okay, where's my jacket? WHERE'S MY JACKET?!"

"Eren, honey I need to you calm down."

"Okay, sorry. I'm calm. Shit. Shit..."

Will hold your hand with a worried look the entire time you're in labour. Has water and snacks on hand.

Will watch in amazement as your child is pushed into the world. This magical moment changes something in him, but right now he's not sure what that is.

They will bond immediately. As soon as he holds your son/daughter he can't take his wide gaze off them.

They're inseparable.

Any doubts of being a bad father is washed away as he takes them under his wing and teaches them about the world.