#bolg and azog

[urukbignaturals]

With your thoughts on orc breeding out of the way- who would best to worst dad?

Oh man, this is a hard question! I will try with some of the Uruk/Olog boys i like the most, and hopefully my reasons make sense xD 1- Bruz the Chopper. Yes, I think -Bruz would be a good father. Despite what he did to Talion, he seems to be so genuinely nice for an orc. He is all smiles, very casual, treats you like a friend.... So idk, something tells me he would be good with children! He would know how to connect to his children and train them into nice warriors! 2- Azog the Defiler. OK SO HE ISNT IN THIS GAME BUT- Isnt Bolg his son?? this mean this orc DID breed, he IS a father. Now- I havent finished the hobbit triogy, but his son looked to be quite capable and respect him a lot. Also, he does lead other orcs, and i think orcs father are more like leaders for them, sooo yeah! Then again, I think he woud be a good father in ORc standards... in human though...

3- Ratbag. My poor boy Ratbag... Dont get me wrong, I think he would try. Very hard... But he simply isnt the brightes or most resposible in my eyes. Like... I can see him having to practically abandon his children in times of need- and he would say something like "They need to be independant!!!" Or something- he would feel AWFULL but like... they are orcs! Orcs need to face hardships on theri own to grow! Or something! BUT that said, he would def teach them all he knows. How to be sneaky, how to stay alive, how to befriend people stronger than them... And maybe, just maybe... He can get others to train his children so they become more than him- better, stronger, smarter! He would be one proud papa.

4- Bolg. Since i mentioned Azog i fee like i must mention his son too. Sadly I dont have much more to add to him. I think He coul be an ok father, if he follows his own fathers footsteps, but still, something tels me they both would be cold parents. They want their orc children/ tribe to be fierce, strong. No weakness would be allowed. So im sure they would be pretty toxic... I think he woukd get rid of any weak children he has...

5- Vog the Eternal. Im so sorry, but I cant think of Vog as a good father. He goes to the end of my lost simply because i just... I just cant! If anything since he is a necromancer, if any of his children dies he would be like "I can bring them back- STRONGER!" Wich isnt a good thing to say as a dad...

[aspenrockymountainhigh]

🖤™️👁️

In The Hobbit book, Azog is a minor character, a long-dead Orc who killed Thorin's grandfather, Thror. His role is brief, mentioned only concerning past events - available in The lord of The Rings, The Return of the King - Appendix A. Bolg, his son, leads the Orcs at the Battle of Five Armies, seeking revenge for his father's death at the hands of Dain Ironfoot.

In the movies, Azog is transformed into a central antagonist, pursuing Thorin and the company throughout their journey. This role expansion turns him into a relentless foe, while Bolg serves as his subordinate.

Art by Kerem Beyit

[acornsandoaktrees]

LOTRweek Day 5:

loss | sacrifice | despair

mortem obire (face death)

Alphes and Tauriel face off against Bolg during the Battle of the Five Armies.

TW: graphic violence/injury. like, all of this fic. seriously.

>---|-

Catching the orc's spiked armour with her blade, Alphes tore free the plating embedded in its chest with a harsh tug that wrenched her shoulder and fired a furious bellow from the creature.

Sinews of raw muscle wept blood. Angered, the orc swung wide, dark droplets cascading and staining her tunic.

Alphes made to backpedal out of reach; the nasty war-bred thing caught her ankle and brought her to the ground, stabbing down the bladed butt of its mace before she could lash out.

Bewildered more than anything by the smooth sensation -- blade through flesh as if knife through butter -- Alphes gasped chokingly. Barbed metal tore free of muscle.

Fireworks crackled and sparked in her shoulder as she scrambled away.

Still shocked that the orc had managed to wound her so greavously, she was too distracted to do more than throw up her sword to parry the head of its mace. Swung with shocking force for a thing injured, the hideous bulb smashed solidly through her hasty defense.

Any respectable elf could have easily slipped under the orc's lackluster guard and ended the fight then. Alphes skidded to a tentative halt at the lip of the cliff, bladeless.

The orc charged her, nostrils flaring as it caught the scent of close victory.

Left with nowhere to go, Alphes ducked, mace whooshing over her face with a hot, metallic, forceful air that bent her backwards. Sharp edges sliced stray strands of silver hair.

Her footing wobbled, heels over the edge. She righted herself in time to fit a neat slice across the orc's midsection by the dagger strapped to her bracer.

The orc caught her by the arm as she made to dip past it. Wasting no time, Alphes dropped the dagger into her waiting free hand. With it she stabbed down; the orc released her, kicking her away instead.

Something in Alphes' right leg cried out, caught under her. She rolled away from the next attack: she was over the edge.

Only a desperate striking out of her arm stayed her fall.

Predator about to make its death-dealing blow, the orc approached her at a leisurely pace. Casual as placing a china cup on a china plate, its armoured boot bore down on her straining fingers.

Alphes growled and whimpered and bit back tears. She didn't want to die. Whatever primal force fueled her screamed she didn't want to die.

Instinct betrayed her: her grip failed.

Blood-chilling, the orc roared. Injustice was dealt to its hand.

>---|-

Strangled, Tauriel's cry tore from her throat in a single grief-stricken note. Her heart plummeted to the pit of her stomach. Her pace increased, as if she could still catch Alphes in time.

Too late. Too late -- too late! Her blade clashed with the bastard's.

Bolg -- wretched spawn of Azog, defiler in his own right -- shoved her back with such force that she skidded on stone. Then she was running, slamming her blade against metal and flesh again, again, again.

Frustrated from the dance and blood-thirsting, Bolg roared. He lashed out. By some twisted luck, he caught the elleth by the throat before she could skip away.

Robbed of air, Tauriel squirmed and kicked. If looks alone could kill, the orc would be a corpse on the ground. Bolg screamed in pain:

Erupting through his shoulder, a silver blade dripped ebony blood.

Tossed against the far stone wall like a discarded toy, Tauriel cried out as her spine began to ache. Dazed, her ears rang; her body screamed; blood tore hot down the side of her face. She blink away black spots while Bolg was distracted struggling to dislodge the sword.

"Karma's a bitch, huh?' Alphes hissed.

She wavered at the edge of the cliff, hunched and cradling her side. Her eyes were tired, but within them burned dark determination. One of her leaf-shaped pauldrons was missing; the other slumped from her shoulder, strap almost cleaved in two. Hastily bound cloth swaddled her left arm, and from there spread blotchy crimson.

Bolg growled deep in his chest. Tauriel tore herself from her stupor. Her blade finally, finally buried in his shoulder alongside Alphes'.

Bolg turned with narrow eyes like jagged jasper, chuffed spittle in Tauriel's face, then backed her against the steps with large laboured strides.

Nowhere to go, Tauriel made to climb. Pressure on her forearm pulled a yelp from her; Bolg crushed her bone as easily as crumpling paper and threw her away from him. He was growing tired of the game, the hunt.

A steadying hand calmed the maelstrom. Tauriel clutched her remaining dagger with her uninjured hand, other arm limp by her side. Alphes raised her bloodied bare fists -- no more hidden weapons tucked within destroyed armour.

Bolg ripped Tauriel's dagger from his impaled torso and only grinned when dark tar spurted from the wound. Baring rotted fangs, he prepared for victory once more.

Screaming a furious battle cry, a dark-haired dwarf swathed in gold plate and iron mail leapt from above. His greatsword sunk hilt-deep into the orc's body, which shuddered, revealed the whites of its eyes, and at last fell, a mess of muscle and blood. There could be no doubt.

Wagering that an enemy of her enemy could be her friend, Tauriel exchanged a wary nod with the dwarf, who occupied himself with wrestling to reclaim his sword so that he might behead the orc commander. Glory, and all that.

Disregarding her weeping injuries, Alphes helped Tauriel get her feet under her.

Tauriel hesitated on a syllable, then whispered, "Melleth."

Strength utterly drained, Alphes laid her head on Tauriel's shoulder. She closed her eyes and held Tauriel's bloodied hand close to her own heart. Tauriel laid her head in the crook of her neck.

"Melleth," Alphes breathed.

>---|-

"So, how was it that you didn't... fall from the cliff?" Tauriel opened tentatively. Nausea swirled within her stomach at the very thought of peering over that sheer edge.

Alphes laughed, then stilled, wincing and digging her nails into the skin of her arm. "I fell to a ledge not too far below me. I climbed up from there."

Tauriel quirked a brow, correcting Alphes' posture for the nth time so that she could clean effectively the laceration on her shoulder. "With your shoulder in this state?"

Touch as soft as her voice and her eyes, Alphes' fingers curled around her wrist. "I had to get to you."

Tauriel's breath caught. A surge of adoration tore through her chest. Leaning down, she pressed her lips to Alphes' forehead; a prayer, or a declaration of piety.

"One day I will repay you."

Agony finally showing on her face, Alphes closed her eyes. "I sincerely hope you never have to."

Tauriel hummed. "The world is not that kind."

"I guess not," Alphes sighed, and looked distantly towards the tent wall.

Tauriel wrung the blood-soaked towel above a bowl of water.

"How does your leg feel?"

Forgetting herself again, Alphes shrugged, then drew in a hiss through her teeth. "My leg is fine. This, though, is going to take some getting used to." She gestured to her shoulder with her other hand.

Now that she could see clearly past the grime that had coated the Princess' fair skin, Tauriel examined the incriminating injury freely. Large and deep and glossy, it was no longer bleeding. Retreating barbs had left jagged tears in fair unmarred flesh.

"Hopefully, you will not have to. I see no sign of poison, nor infection. With some medicine you should heal well."

"Thank you, Nana," Alphes mocked, rolling her eyes, though she slumped incrementally in relief.

Tauriel's eyes flicked up. She spoke slowly, carefully. "It will scar, you know."

Unsure of her point, Alphes blinked. "I know. I am okay with that."

Sighing, Tauriel chewed her lip and looked down. The Princess tended to favour sleeveless clothing. "You've never had an injury this bad. Concealment might be necessary."

Understanding broke onto Alphes' face. "No, I want it to scar, and I want it to be visible." Her grin only grew wider at Tauriel's frown. "We have lived, Tauriel. We should have proof of that."

"That is... not a very Sindar view of things."

"Since when have I acted even slightly Sindar? The forest is as much my home as yours."

Tauriel smiled and gathered a roll of bandage before kneeling by her side. "Of course. Now, hold still."

While Tauriel bound her shoulder over a healing salve, Alphes' jovial attitude wore off alongside her adrenaline. When Tauriel made to leave the tent and give her owed privacy, the Princess caught her arm.

"How did we fight so long and not fall?" she pleaded.

"Something about the prospect of death--" Tauriel paused for a breath; a thought; a rest, "--is motivating."

Knuckles bruised and raw, Alphes rubbed pointlessly at the blood dried on her hands. Orc mingled horridly amongst human, dwarf and elf from her time in the healers' tents.

"So much death," she choked.

Tauriel took Alphes' bloodied hands in her own, kneeling again at her feet. Rhythmic, her thumbs glided over the cracked skin of her reddenned hands, tracing up and down her open palms.

"So much life, melleth nin. Listen for it."

They both did. Outside the tent, children babbled to their parents. Soldiers sung in low voices around bonfires. Wounded screamed, fueled by desire to live. Flaming wicks of candles danced energetically. Steady breaths warmed the small space between them.

"I hear it." Alphes cupped Tauriel's face in her hands. When she tried to wipe blood from her cheekbone, it only smeared. "I see it."

Tauriel smiled and held her hands firmly there.

[local-redhead-bookworm]

I was rewatching the Hobbit trilogy for the first time in like six years, and my main thought was “good grief, Orcish prosthetics look super painful”

[lunamond]

The most annoying thing about all the self-proclaimed Tolkien lore purists, upset about Rop's orc family, is that the show doesn't just have the most interesting depiction of orcs but also the most faithful of all adaptations.

Rop's orcs have families like Tolkien's naming convention of "Bolg son of Azog" in the Hobbit strongly suggests. They are actually quite reluctant to go to war if they don't have to, which is sth we also see in the Lotr when a couple of orcs complain about Sauron forcing them into war and they wistfully speak about going back East and being free together. Even the orcs aversion to Sauron’s leadership and clear lack of respect shown in the new season's opening is sth found in Tolkien's own writing. In Nature of Middle-earth, he writes that the eastern orcs ridiculed and made fun of Sauron’s fair appearance.

Rop is by no means perfect, neither as a show nor an adaptation, but it is quite telling that some of the loudest detractors continue to make the most asinine complaints.

[middleearthpixie]

The Ties That Bind ~ Chapter One

Summary: Although Erebor is his once more, Thorin knows there is still a great threat to the peace of Middle Earth. Azog is gone, but another has taken his place and has sworn to finish what Azog began. Erebor is back, but it’s sadly lacking in protection and as much as he hates the thought of it, Thorin knows there is one thing that will guarantee the safety and continuation of his line.

War is coming and all Eirlys of Mirkwood wishes to do is fight alongside her brother Legolas and the other elves, united with Men and Dwarves in their attempt to quell the renewed tensions between them and the orc army of the north. But, her father, Thranduíl has other plans. Unite his kingdom with the newly reestablished kingdom of Erebor and use the power of both to defeat the orcs.

An arranged marriage that neither side wants, but both sides need. But what happens when the two sides realize that maybe—just maybe—being together isn't quite as bad as they'd thought...

Pairing: Thorin x ofc Eirlys of Mirkwood

Warnings: None

Rating: T

Word Count: 2.1k

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Erebor

“Thorin, will you just listen to reason?”

Thorin spun about to stare at his younger sister with a look that would have terrified a lesser person. Although it took more than his ire to make Dís back down, that didn't mean she wouldn’t be sorry she stood up to him in the first place. 

“I beg your pardon?”

“You heard me. You are being unreasonable.”

“Am I? Am I truly being so unreasonable? Because from where I stand, I’m being perfectly reasonable.”

“You need to settle down, to marry and hopefully produce an heir. You’ve said so yourself. So, why is this such a terrible idea?”

He rolled his eyes as he paced along the length of the Throne Room. In the two years since he and his Company retook Erebor, and since he finally recovered from the near-fatal wounds he’d received in the process of said reclamation, the kingdom had come a long way. When they’d first returned, the once-mighty kingdom beneath the Lonely Mountain was little more than a ruin, having housed a treasure-obsessed dragon for over a century. It had taken work beyond measure to return the kingdom to its glory and for the first time since he and Balin had first come through the secret door, Thorin thought they might actually accomplish the task.

But, there were rumblings once more. The orc army, nearly decimated with the death of their leader, Azog the Defiler and his son and heir, Bolg, appeared to be growing stronger once again. And while Erebor was on its way to its return, it wasn’t there yet and its army was nowhere near large enough or powerful enough to take on a renewed orc power. Plus, he’d heard the rumors of Sauron, and if those rumors were true, Erebor could be in very real trouble in a very short time. 

However…

“She is elven,” Thorin said once he’d reached the far end of the large, rectangular chamber. Erebor’s throne, a massive block of elaborate carved obsidian, etched with gold and silver, was the only thing in the room and that was fine, as Thorin only usually came into it when he needed to think.

“So? The elves fought alongside you, didn't they?”

“She is the daughter of Thranduíl and I’d eat the Arkenstone if anyone told me he would be willing to allow his only daughter to come here.”

“There’s only one way to know. And Kíli said one of Thranduíl’s advisors brought up the possibility of an alliance between his family and ours. They took quite the hit themselves, if you remember. So apparently, he is quite open to the idea.”

He rubbed his forehead with one hand, a heavy sigh rising to his lips. Yes, he needed to think about marrying. And yes, Erebor’s army was only barely such. And finally, yes, an alliance between Erebor’s ruling family and Mirkwood’s ruling family would be wise and powerful. Especially now that the elves of Rivendell had been slowly taking leave of Middle Earth. They’d just begun their exodus, but he knew from his last visit to Rivendell that Elrond was also planning the time when he would join his kin.

But Thranduíl, of all people. The same smug princess king who’d simply tossed Thorin and his company into the Mirkwood dungeons over a perceived slightly that Thorin himself actually had nothing to do with. 

And now his sister, and his nephew, (and most likely his nephew’s wife, Tauriel, who had been a captain in the Mirkwood guard) were already making plans and testing the water for him to marry the princess king’s daughter. His only daughter. Who was, no doubt a spoiled and pampered princess to boot. 

“She’s very pretty,” Dís broke in, her voice slightly singsong in tone. Then, in her normal voice, she added, “At least, Kíli thought so.”

“Kíli thinks anything female is pretty.”

“Now, that is neither true nor fair.”

Dís was right. They’d traveled to Mirkwood only weeks earlier for Kíli and Tauriel’s wedding, where Thorin had caught a glimpse of Mirkwood’s only princess. Tall. Slim. Hair so blonde it looked almost white. Typical elf of the Woodland Realm. Pretty, but she probably knew it and he could only imagine how conceited she was as a result.

Still, this was one argument he knew he stood almost no chance of winning. Dís had thought her points through and perfectly so. Like it or not, he would most likely be marrying Eirlys of Mirkwood. 

He sighed, his shoulders slumping, and lowered his hand. “Dís, think about what you suggest? The Line of Durin would become half elven.”

“And the line of Thranduíl would become half dwarven.” She offered up a mischievous smile. “And I take a rather childish delight in that, myself.” 

“Of course you do.” He strolled back toward her, then skirted her to sink into the cold obsidian throne. “And you see no problem with this? None at all?”

“Thorin,” she moved closer, her hand coming to rest on his knee, “is the idea so abhorrent to you? I mean, you do have to marry sooner rather than later and if Kíli is to be believed, you could do far worse than Eirlys of Mirkwood.”

Despite what he’d said only minutes earlier, Kíli did have a eye for pretty girls, and Eirlys was most definitely striking from a distance. Up close, she was probably even more so. If nothing else, he’d at least enjoy gazing upon her. Small comfort, but if it was the only one, he’d take it.

But Thranduíl.

He drew in a deep breath. Exhaled slowly. Then met his sister’s gaze and he knew he was doomed. “What if she does not agree with this?”

“What if she does? Think of it, Thorin. Think of how much stronger Erebor will be, and how Mirkwood would be forever allied with us as well. This can only benefit us.”

“Which means I will never be rid of Thrandy.”

She didn't trouble to hide her smile. “No, you won’t. But… that might not necessarily be as terrible as you think.”

“Dís, you spent but a short time with him. Barely enough time for a conversation.”

“Oh, don't be silly. Of course I had more than a single conversation with him and I found him to be rather rather personable.”

“Even so.”

“No, no even so. If you insist on forcing a divide where one only exists in your mind, you will never be happy.”

“Dís.”

“Thorin.”

He just stared, and she stared right back. Seeing that he was not going to win this argument, arguing was wasted time and breath, and so he slowly bobbed his head. “Very well. I suppose it might be worth at least discussing it with him.” 

“Ah, at last, you’re seeing reason.” Dís grinned. “And I’ll wager she is not putting up that much of a fight about this, either.”

“You have lost your mind!”

Eirlys could only stare at her father, wondering if he truly had gone mad, for that was the only explanation for his ludicrous suggestion that she consider taking Thorin of Erebor as a husband.

But her father remained his usual cool, collected self, his blue eyes unblinking and his face void of emotion as he replied, “Why? Because I promise you that I am quite sane and this is a logical solution the problems at hand.”

“He is a dwarf, Father.”

“I am well aware of that, Eirlys.” He tapped his fingers on the woven branches that made up the arm of the woven sticks and vines that made up his throne. On those fingers, he wore several rings, one set with a gold and brown tiger’s eye stone, another that, like his throne, was woven vines set with a golden topaz. “But, as I know you are also well aware, an alliance with the dwarves would be to our advantage.”

“You speak of the Gundabad orcs, don’t you?” She didn't wait for him to nod, for she knew she was right. She’d overheard him and her older brother, Legolas discussing the orcs from the north the previous evening. “But orcs never come this far south.”

“They have been, though, and you know you heard that as well.”

Heat flitted through her at the stern look in his eyes and the definite scolding in his tone. But that didn't stop her from retorting, “Then allow me to fight, as you do Legolas.”

“No. I take no chances with you, Eirlys. And in Erebor, you would be safe, should our perimeter be breached.”

A small knot twisted in the pit of her belly. “You mean to simply send me away?”

“Of course not. Don’t be a fool.” He slowly rose and carefully made his way down the woven staircase to descend from the throne. He had to be careful because not only was the staircase curved, but he wore a ridiculously long robe of gold, green, and brown silk. His hair, the same nearly-white blond as hers, spilled over his shoulders and down his back like spun gold water, and was held out of his face partially by the crown of woven sticks and leaves, dotted with the same topaz and tiger’s eye as his rings. 

He stood only a few inches taller than her, shaking his head as he went on, “You are not being banished, only married.”

“To a dwarf.”

“It is not ideal, but elven royalty is at a premium these days and a suitable husband will not be found amongst those left. King Thorin will give you the life you should have, and that you will be safe, tucked beneath the Lonely Mountain, is only a bit more icing on the cake. He and I have had our differences, but he has since proven his worth and I would trust him with one of my most precious assets.”

She rolled her eyes. “Precious assets?”

That earned her a smile. “You do not agree?”

“You have gone mad.”

He let out a soft sigh, moving to drape his arm about her shoulders, a gesture he would not have done, had anyone else been in the throne room with them. He was loving, but reserved when others were about. After all, he had a reputation to uphold. 

“Eirlys, you must know that I have only your best interests in my heart.”

“By marrying me off to a dwarf?”

His smile faded. “Stop that. You met him at Tauriel and Kíli’s wedding and did not look down your nose at him then.”

Yes, she’d met him. Smiled and bobbed her head and then went off to dance with her friends, hardly giving the long-haired, rather shaggy-looking dwarf king a second thought. She had no idea what plans were going to be in the works following the rather modest wedding. 

“You didn't intend for me to take him as my husband then. And I don't quite understand why I can’t just stand alongside you and Legolas, should the orc army come this far south. You’ve let other women do so.”

“Enough now. You know full well why I will not allow it. You are not simply other women. You are my daughter. And I will protect you with every fiber of my being and if it means protecting this wood and those within it at the same time? I will do it. And in time, you will thank me. You will see.”

Eirlys offered up a long look. “I’ll not promise to not say I told you so, when you are wrong, you know.”

“I expect no less.”

“Good.”

“But, I have the feeling I won’t be wrong, either.”

She ignored that and the smug smile that accompanied his words. “So, when am I to be shipped off?”

Now it was Thranduíl’s turn to roll his eyes. “You’ll not be shipped anywhere. I will send word to Erebor that Thorin and his company should come here and we will work out the finer details at that point. But, you needn’t worry. The wedding will take place here.”

“Because that is my biggest concern. Where the wedding is to be held.” She pulled away, then turned to face him. “May I go then?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Thank you.” 

She was almost to the doorway of woven vines when Thranduíl called, “Eirlys?”

She paused, peering over her shoulder. “Yes?”

“You will see, this is for the best.”

She met his gaze and although she wasn't entirely happy with his decision, she knew that he did have her best interests at heart and would do nothing to put her in any danger. If anything, he was always overprotective of her and had been ever since her mother’s death. Knowing he did what he did out of love was enough to make her sigh softly as she nodded. “I know, Papa.”

His eyes softened and a hint of a paternal smile played at his lips. “Good.”

[thranduilofsmirkwood]

THE BATTLE OF THE 5 ARMIES

I rarely watch disc 2 of the extended Battle of the 5 Armies. No matter how many times I do, tho, the acting breaks my heart.

People bitch about the CGI, they say PJ ran out of time, patience, and originality. But what overshadows any fault in the production is the acting. Jeezus, these actors nailed it. Bilbos face when he watched Azog kill Fili, Tauriel confronting Thranduil to save Kili, Balin staying behind while Thorin, Dwalin, Kili & Fili raced to Ravenhill, Legolas' face when he sees Bolg tossing Tauriel around, his face when he sees Tauriel with Kili's body.. and of course, Thranduil. Shock at the loss of his men, defiantly refusing Gandalfs plea for help, his fury at Tauriel, and shame when Legolas steps between them. Bard telling gandalf that there are no bowmen left is Luke Evans 2nd best scene.

Bilbo breaks my heart in every scene. Martin Freeman is remarkable in this movie. I don't know about anyone else, but sometimes I need a sad movie to cry myself into a better headspace.

I wish the scene with Bard, Gandalf and Bilbo [with Bilbo burying the acorn from Beorn's garden] had been included - and the scene of Gandalf rebuking Thranduil over his treatment of Legolas. All things Alfrid could have been deleted.

[tolkienosaurus]

I know I forgot some, please let me know which.

[autisticexpression2]

I can't reblog because he blocked me but look at this dumb bitch who didn't even read the books he claims to love.

Orcs canonically had families. They even had royal families! Bolg was the son of Azog, the previous king of Moria's orcs.

If they didn't care for their babies, how did they survive to adulthood????

Sauron wasn't even the one who corrupted them! It was Melkor!

I hate Rings of Power, too, but come on.

[thewitchkingiscool-ace]

Y’know, the ending of botfa was such a wonder to behold. BEAR WITH ME HERE OKAY, HEAR MY POINTS.

I’ll start by breaking down some of the scenes. So first, we have the scene were Fili is momentarily captured by Azog at the top of that old abandoned fortress-thing with all of Azog’s army behind him. Then good old Azzerz (thats my name for azog) does his speech about which order he’d kill everyone in his plan that went horribly wrong, f in chat for azog.

And then Fili does that badass backwards spinning-kick and knocks Azog to the floor, then he dodges all of the army like a pro and kills like 75% of them (we all know how it goes so there’s no point going through it. But fili was awesome in that moment so i just want some appreciation for him there)

And THEN we cut to Kili, Bolg and Tauriel. I love the dynamic between Kili and Tauriel in that moment as they work together to take out Bolg, jumping off rocks and attacking him from both sides and being fabulous as always. Especially that bit where Bolg grabs Kili then Tauriel walks up behind him and kicks him in the balls. What an amazing scene. Then they manage to chase him to Legolas and that sketchy bridge that looks like it would collapse at any minute and Legolas starts flexing his skills and spins and slashes and runs up the bridge as it collapses in slow motion and nearly falls then flips himself back up again and does that cool thing where he stabs Bolg in the head and bounces off his shoulders and the whole bridge sinks then collapses and Bolg dies from fall damage then just in case he wasnt dead, the piece of rubble falls on him. Then Tauriel and Kili finally kiss and see Legolas stood far in the distance and wave at him and he finally accepts that Tauriel friendzoned him but he’s totally chill with it and it’s so wholesome.

AND THEN WE HAVE THORIN VS AZOG!! AND THORIN COMPLETELY WRECKS HIM! So they fight on the ice and Thorin uses Azog’s weight against him. We all know how he picks up Azzer’s big old wrecking ball thing and throws it at him and Azog goes under the ice. Then Thorin starts following him which tbh could have been quite a risky move and could’ve got him killed, but he sees Azog’s eyes open and does a BACKFLIP to avoid Azzer’s sword and does a majestic hair-flip, then yells a dwarvish war-cry and starts attacking him. Then it goes a bit downhill as we all know and how as Thorin’s pinned against the floor, Bilbo comes running at Azog and knocks him off and Thorin’s like “omagawsh ma husband here to save me <33” then Azog is on the floor cus bilbo wrecked him, and Thorin does that thing where he waltzes up to him holding bilbo’s hand and stabs Azog in the back and its so cool tho

and then Thorin proposes to bilbo, they reunite with Fili & Kili and they all hug and they’re tearful and Dwalin shows up and gives them a big old bear hug and its the sweetest. And then the eagles show up and take them all away from the oncoming army.

then when bilbo’s going home, thorin basically does the same as sam and bilbo’s like “i’m going home alone.” Then thorin says “of course you are. And I’m coming with you!!” It’s such a nice nod to lotr and i cried my eyes out there. Then they kiss again and all the dwarves cheer and Kili’s there holding tauriel’s hand then BARD AND THRANDUIL SHOW UP and make up with thorin and the company then Bard and Thrandy kiss too and Thranduil proposes to Bard then Kili proposes to tauriel and thennnnn (sorry for the long post) they all have a joint wedding at the shire and all the hobbits are like 0.0 “wat” at the sight of all these dwarves and elves and men but they embrace it all confused like “those are gonna be some interesting kids lmao!!”

then you see thorin moving in with bilbo after giving the crown to Fili and i cried again when they adopted frodo and you see Fili as King under the Mountain with lots of children and you can see how he looks slightly older and Peter Jackson and the makeup crew did such a good job portraying all the horrors they SURVIVED and LIVED to tell the tale of. And then it cuts to Gandalf showing up like 50 years later and you can see thorin sat in the back in an armchair reading a book and i cried again. overall such a wholesome movie and my favourite out of all three. Love that movie to DEATH haha, death’s a funny thing to mention considering how little of it there was 😅

sorry again for the long post but i had to rant about that movie!

[anneangel]

When I try to explain why 'I love' and 'don't love' The Hobbit, trilogy and book:

Peter Jackson, screenwriters, Warner Bros executive directors: Do you like The Hobbit Trilogy?

Me: oh, yes. I love 90% of it. And the cast is wonderful and the soundtrack incredible. I love 'movie Smaug', and I find interesting that the dwarves gain more prominence than in the book, transforming them into more central characters in the plot.

Peter Jackson, screenwriters, WB: What are your criticisms about it?

Me: There are many good scenes from the original plot that were changed for the movie without need because were already good in the book, many tense scenes in the book were transformed into 'action scenes', such as the escape from the Misty Mountains, Mirkwood and the escape in the barrels. And why revive Azog when just Bolg would be enough? And you guys shit on the character Beorn. And, well, the name of the movies are 'The Hobbit', there should be more Bilbo in this, right?

Peter Jackson, screenwriters, WB: So you like the book that much?

Me: oh, yes, I love 95% of it.

Peter Jackson, screenwriters, WB: Do you even have something honest criticisms of book?

Me: well, there could be SOME female participation, and I could follow Gandalf's journey to the White Council and Dol Guldur, both happen, but in the plot of the book it 'll not be narrated to us because the focus is on Bilbo and only him. And Thranduil doesn't even have a name, he's just called the 'Elvenking' of the Forest, let alone his son Legolas. Radagast is underused and only mentioned once. I would like more to be 'narrated' than 'told' to us. Understand? More dialogues actually describing what they went through, and less summarizing as 'after much deliberation they decided', it's something told. Maybe if the book was more 'narrated' than 'told', then it would be much bigger than it is. Well, It would be interesting to see the narrative from more perspectives.

Peter Jackson, screenwriters, WB: but that's exactly what we try to deliver in the movies! We gave you Galadriel, Tauriel and gave you Bard's daughters, hey, there's your female representation. And we gave you the White Council and Dol Guldur, we gave you more Elrond, and Radagast and even Saruman. We even gave you a badass and handsome Thranduil and we even gave you Legolas. Fuck you, we even gave you Frodo!

Me: Correct. I like the fillers created for the trilogy, nothing against them, the intention was great, the actors play their characters very fine and everyone did wonders with what they had, truly cool, the problem is that I don't like the PLOT of the fillers. Only that.

Peter Jackson, screenwriters, WB: So, in your opinion, the problem is our bad writing plot for fillers?

Me: oh, that's right. Exactly. With the exception of this, everything else was very good.

Peter Jackson, screenwriters, WB: But you can't just blame us! Others also failed miserably in this production, right?

Me: Oh, but the costume designers did relatively fine, cinematographers and art directors too, with the exception of Beorn's design, everything else is tolerable. Even if it wasn't faithful to the book on some aspects, but that's why it's called 'adaptation'. Including the CGI was 'ok', which many complain about, but I think it's an excessive criticism because it's reasonable compared to other current Worldwide Box Office movies similar to The Hobbit Trilogy.

Peter Jackson, screenwriters, WB: So, for you, what really left something to be desired was the plot written of the fillers and plot of changed scenes? Is it?

Me: Oh, yeah. I wouldn't be so critical of the 'need' for to be three movies, if the filler plot and new scenes was better written. But hey, I still like a lot about The Hobbit, whether it's the book or the movies. For example, now just talking about The Hobbit makes me want to read my favorite parts of the book and watch my favorite parts of the trilogy! Haha! Understand now?

[shadowron]

The Ork Soccer Mom, a Better Ork Contact for Shadowrun (1st Edition)

"General Kenobi!"

Rizz and Art by @skullchicken

To break up the sequence of metahuman archetypes (more of which are still coming), I also got inspired to create some new contacts.

Why does she make such a great contact?

It is stated that:

Ork mothers usually bear four children, but litters of six or eight are not uncommon.

Because let’s face it – being able to juggle the sports schedules and snack preferences and cross-district transportation of Azog, Bolg, Ugluk, Gorbag, Grishnahk, and Li’l Shagrat makes the Ork Soccer Mom’s skills rival that of any shadowrunner.

"Looks like juice-boxes are back on the menu, boys!"

Her network of fellow rugrat-parents gives her insights that a snitch would die for. Did you know that Fuchi Seattle mid-level manager is going through marital problems and when would be the perfect time to sneak into their flat in Renton? She does.

She knows where every bathroom is in the Renraku Arcology Mall, and a few places where you could slip into the air ducts undetected.

She knows which Stuffer Shacks have which flavors of Sloppy-Soy and which thrill gangs are most likely to rob them.

She does it all, she knows it all, and looks fabulous doing it.

[morgulscribe]

"Nasty Little Snapping Things" - Musings on Orc Families

Certain people losing their minds because they saw an orc family depicted for the first time on the screen... Even though Tolkien stated that orcs reproduced in the manner of the Children of Illuvatar, that there were orc women, that Azog was the son of Bolg, and heavily implied that Gollum was eating orc children who wandered too far away from their parents.

Angmar and I already explored these concepts back in 2004... Our explorations of the darker side of Tolkien horrified some people, and Angmar was ruthlessly bullied by idiots by daring to suggest such so-called heretical concepts as the Nazgul having personalities, the existence of female orcs, and Sauron being more than just a floating eyeball upon the top of a tower. (See: Arda Was Always Marred)

This fandom has always had its share of close-minded people who project their own peculiar concepts of fantasy upon Middle-earth and revel in their ignorance while claiming to be knowledgeable.

Here is a selection Angmar and I wrote back in 2006 which deals with the subject of orcs.

The Circles: Book 2: Journey of Sorrow Chapter 10 - "An Unwelcome Edict"

Amid cat-calls from their mates, the she-orcs sauntered forward from the line of uruk guards. The male orcs were ugly enough, but their mates defied the classification of "female." Every visible part of their bodies had been mutilated with frightening piercings or marked with strange and hideous tribal tattoos, and all were clad in a bizarre conglomeration of military uniform and civilian dress, obviously commandeered from a wide variety of peoples. One obese she-orc wore a morbidly hilarious parody of armor which barely covered her massive mammary glands. Her outfit was complete with an embarrassingly tiny leather loincloth which revealed the muscular contours of her beefy, hair-covered thighs.

A strange and disturbing thought struck Elfhild's reeling senses, driving out everything else that was in her mind: had these loathsome creatures ever known love? Had the orc who slew her mother possessed such a – she could hardly bring herself to think it – mate? She had learned that he was a kinsman of the others in the raiding party, but she had never really thought of such matters before. What if he had… children? What did an orc baby look like? Probably a nasty little snapping thing… but still a baby. Elfhild grieved for her own mother; did an orc woman and child grieve for the raider whom she had slain? Was she guilty of inflicting the same sorrow upon others as the orc had brought her? Was she a cold-hearted killer? Or was she only trying to defend her home?

She must stop thinking about such maudlin things. Of course, the orcs had no feeling. Everyone knew it. They were enemies, and all of them deserved to… to… be exterminated? No! She would never let herself think that. They were thinking creatures – their horrible attire proved that they had individual tastes and preferences – and they had the right to live just as anyone else.

[maximwtf]

“Slain by your own sword.”

Legolas x elven reader

words: 1820

google docs pages: 3

warnings: mentions of wounds and blood, grief, death

opening: You get severely injured in the battle of the five armies. Legolas is there to experience the death of a loved one for the first time after his mother’s death. 

AN// reader is she/her. Please, the way i've been spamming lotr and the hobbit fanfics recently-

Not proof read!!

       “Slain by your own sword.”

You had somehow convinced Legolas to come with you to help the dwarfs. Well you wanted to help them, but knowing Legolas he was with you most likely only for the adventure, but either way he was with you. You had started courting with him a while before going after the dwarfs, and even though Legolas rarely showed it, you had noticed a concerned look on his face every now and then when you two had come across orcs. It was sweet to see that he cared, but surely he knew that you were very much able to protect yourself? This you didn’t dare to ask from him, he had seen you fight on your own and should be aware of what you were capable of. 

The battle of the five armies went on. You heard Thorin was going to go against Azog, bringing his best fighters along with him. Legolas hadn’t had the time to reason with you about going and helping them, and you had already left making him follow you. He didn’t mind a fight, he even had a bone to pick with Bolg, but he knew how dangerous these orcs were and the chance of injury was huge. Even though his fear, Legolas knew he couldn’t stop you anymore. The two of you were way too close to the top where the two orcs were to turn back now. He checked how many arrows he had left, and with the hope he got from that the two of you climbed to the top.

You arrived just in time to see Kíli get killed by Bolg. It angered you to see the innocent dwarfs get killed like this, making you charge towards the orc. Legolas stretched out his bow, ready to shoot the orc you were going against, but before he was able to do that he saw the orcs that had started to surround the area. He took it as his job to get rid of them, so you’d have the time you needed to go against Bolg.

Legolas finished with a headshot on the last orc that had arrived, turning to see how you were doing. To his horror, Bolg had been able to get a hold of you as you had been trying to throw him off the cliff. The orc took you down with him, making you land harshly on the next cliff. Legolas bit his teeth together, waiting to see if you’d get up, but before you were able to do that Bolg was marching towards you. it was almost like the fall had done nothing to him. Without saying a word, Legolas tried to take an arrow from the case he was carrying, but to his surprise he was out of them. It was only a matter of time Bolg would reach you, and if you hadn’t gotten up before that, Legolas didn’t want to know what would happen. 

You whined a little, rolling to your side before opening your eyes again. The fall had made you bang your head on the ground harshly, making you dizzy. But even through the dizziness you could see the orc come towards you. As swiftly as you could, you got up and while doing so picking up the sword you had dropped. You stiffened up your upper lip, looking at the creature with disgust. Before attacking him, you took one of the daggers you were carrying, throwing it at the orcs feet, getting the blade to hit and go in his foot. You couldn’t hear Legolas coming to your aid, and because of that you stood your ground violently. Even though your head was hurting from the fall, you ran up to Bolg, jumping on him in order to get a chance to get hits on him with your sword. You heard something start to rumble and fall, but you tried to pay no mind to it. You hit your second dagged on the shoulder or the orc, but while doing so he had gotten a hold of your foot and threw you back first, against the closest rock wall. You landed on the ground, whining as you tried to get back up. You heard something fall, as the ground beneath you shook, making some snow from the upper cliffs fall on you. While sitting up, you saw legolas start to fight off Bolg, soon disappearing to a lower level as the ground beneath them broke and fell down. Because you had lost sight of both of them, you forced yourself back on your feet. Ignoring  the way your body had begun to shake from the injuries you had gotten, marching towards the pillar Legolas had toppled down in between the drop. As you got closer, you saw the two of them still fighting. Not long after that, Bolg was able to get a hit on Legolas, making him fall to the ground. Before you were able to attack the orc again, a corpse of an orc fell down, breaking some of the brics from under Bolg’s feet, making him fall down on the lower level again. 

Legolas got up swiftly, turning to look at you. “Are you okay?” He asked quickly as his gaze examined you. “I- yes, I’m fine.” You answered, forcing the shaking to stop before Legolas would be able to see it. You noticed how he looked up, raising his sword. Looking in the same direction as him, you noticed Thorin who was about to get slain by an orc. You felt wind on your face, and almost as if out of nowhere the orc towering over Thorin began to fall down, with Legolas’ sword in its chest. Whilst watching this, Bolg had gotten himself out from under the rocks, and slammed his axe towards Legolas, who quickly dodged the attack. 

You took out your last dagger, holding it tightly in your palm as you watched Legolas fall through the bridge yet again. Furrowing your brows, you began to wait for him to emerge back up again, but before he could Bolg threw a boulder into the whole Legolas had fallen into. “No!” You yelled out in terror, jumping on the orcs back again, pushing the dagger into his back. Bolg roared in pain because of this, throwing you off of his back as he tried to get a hold of the dagger so he could pull it out. You landed on your feet, backing away from the orc. “Come here and fight!” You threatened him in anger. As Bolg had turned to you, Legolas had made his way back up somehow, but he was too far away to be able to get another hit on the orc. “Come here!” You yelled at the orc again, getting it to start following you. “I’ll put my sword through your chest next!” yelling yet another comment at the creature as you led it into the ‘tunnels’ of the building the fight was happening in. You saw an opening and ran towards it, and as you turned around you saw the same orc following right behind you. Gnarling at the thing, you got a better hold of your sword, getting ready to kill the orc. Bolg got closer fast, hitting his axe against your sword. You got a glimpse of his eyes, before he was able to twist your sword enough that you had to let go of it. You were able to mutter a curse under your breath before Bolg got closer again, swiftly kicking you off of your feet with the back of his axe. 

Legolas arrived at the scene, taking out the last blade he had on him. Bolg picked up the sword you had dropped, and without hesitating a moment he pushed it straight into your chest. Legolas saw all of this, and it was almost like the time had slowed down completely as he started to see the blood spread on the frozen cliff. After he had finally realised what had happened, anger filled him fully. He charged at Bolg, kicking him off his feet. As the orc slid further away from you, Legolas marched up to it, pushing his blade through Bolg’s head and then pushing the corpse off the cliff. 

The elven prince ran up to you. You could barely breathe anymore, blood coming out of your mouth as you tried. Trying to keep your eyes open, your eyes moved to Legolas as tears began to fall down your cheeks. “Stay awake meleth (love), You’ll be okay.” He mumbled, caressing your face with his hand. You could feel life be drained out of you by the moment, and you knew you didn’t have much time left. You took a hold of the hand he had on your cheek, trying to smile through the freezing pain you were in. “Gi..Gi melin (I love you) Legolas.” You mumbled through the blood, your gaze starting to fade. You could still make out the tears forming in Legolas’ eyes that he was fighting back but it was no use. “Gi melin.” You heard him whisper between his teeth, quiet enough that you barely heard it. “I don’t want to leave.” You whispered out, exhausted from the pain. The battlefield had quieted down but neither of you cared. “I…I’m scared.” You whined out while looking at Legolas’ eyes. He didn’t waste a moment before replying. “Don’t be, you’re not alone.” Was all he said, before leaning down to give you a kiss. When he pulled back, he saw you fade away and felt your hand fall off from his. It hit him like thousands of arrows at that moment, making the tears he had been fighting back start to pour down. He didn’t say anything, just lowered his forehead against yours whilst crying silently, not making a noise.

Thranduil came from around the corner, shocked to see what had happened. Silain by your own sword. The scene reminded him of his wife, Legolas’ mother, and the grief he had gone through inside his mind after her passing. A single tear rolled down his cheek because of the hurtful memory and the sight of his son crying over you. He didn’t dare to say anything either, not to disturb the silence. He knew how fond of you Legolas had been and how careful he had been about not getting you hurt. Thranduil understood the pain, he could feel the grief surrounding the whole area as his only son cried. The king lowered his gaze and closed his eyes in respect of the loss.