#bonking my head with a hammer over this

[dmsr-art]

Love the idea of the Sixth just absolutely hatefucking Naberius. Like he says something insulting to Pal, and Pal simply says "Camilla, hold him down for me please."

"CAMILLA HOLD HIM DOWN FOR ME PLEASE" OH MY GOD??? HELLO???

[arcademyth]

and lord, don't let me break this, let me hold it lightly give me arms to pray with instead of ones that hold too tightly

[definitelynotshouting]

tbh im normally an "i wanna see my blorbos Win™" type of guy but the grian dmv-slash-permit-office arc has pulled out such unanticipated levels of "i want that twink OBLITERATED" within me that ive transformed into the emotional equivalent of wile e. coyote every time i watch him. like i need to see him outsmarted guys. hes so fucking smug in his videos that the urge to start ordering ACME-brand Contraptions™ and chase him around with them is haunting my dreams. joel taking out his sword for a crit when grian put him on hold was so satisfying i almost passed out from the headrush. never have i ever wanted comeuppance in my favorite blorbos SO FUCKING BADLY i hope he keeps doing this bit forever and gets bonked over the head with hammers for it every single time

[corsairspade]

me: i really like celegorm. i think he's a really interesting character and i enjoy rotating him in my mind like a particularly ill tempered pigeon

also me whenever i see luthien content: get his ass. steal his dog. bonk him over the head with a hammer. no rights.

[smallpwbbles]

Strawberry shortcake and Hard things to talk about.

Got another Biolizard shadow au ic for y’all, I swear this was gonna be a short thing that just had fluff. I suddenly just started going off the rails and the lil devil on my shoulder egged me on to add angst.

Hope yall like it either way (gonna start putting these on A03 if I write a third thing and it ends up longer than this one)

————————————————————————

Amy concluded she was going to kill them when they arrived. She sat and stewed right in front of a large tartan pink picnic blanket adorned with many baked treats she had spent an entire morning slaving over to get everything to perfection. When she baked she didn’t do it half way.

It was getting to half past four, three o’clock she had told the blue hedgehog and had texted to Rouge as direct long distance communication with Shadow was practically non existent considering how scarce the beast hedgehog liked to make himself.

Many weeks of pleading and begging him to at least join one of her picnics had led to him finally relenting and agreeing on today's outing. The pink hedgehog's excitement was uncontrollable as she absolutely exploded in enthusiasm when he finally agreed. Rouge had to keep her grounded as her eager rambles about picnic locations and recipes to bake had overwhelmed the large hedgehog causing him to promptly leave with a chaos control.

Amy forgot how easily flustered the guy got when encountered with a reaction he had no idea how to respond to. She didn’t blame him for teleporting as quickly as he did, the confirmation of his attendance was all she needed to begin preparing for the picnic.

That was three days ago, and now she sat in a small secluded park outside of station square with her tasty baked treats getting stale by the second. So, yeah she was definitely gonna give those two a good hit with her hammer if they didn’t show up in the next 5 minutes.

Speaking of the devil, a blue burr dashed right up to her picnic blanket. Amy scrambled to keep her treats from flying off the blanket due to the wind generated by Sonic as he dusted himself off looking quite frazzled, it didn’t quell her anger at his tardiness.

“You better have a good reason for being more than an hour late” she chided, Sonic was picking at a branch that has somehow got lodged into his quills most likely on the way to the park. He peeped at all the delicious treats strewn about in front of him, it didn’t escape Amy’s notice the way his face scrunched up at her strawberry shortcake. With that attitude he was gonna receive a bonk on the head with her hammer regardless of a good reason for his current punctuality.

“Sorry Ames, had a bit of a blow up in Tails workshop, was making sure Tails was okay before jetting off” Sonic explained. Well that was definitely a good reason, she began to feel a little bad at her anger towards the blue hedgehog.

“Oh my gosh, is he okay?” Amy asked, her worry quickly eased by an adorable smile from Sonic.

“Yeah yeah, the explosion was just from a faulty invention of his, there was a heckuva mess but he’s all good” he gave a thumbs up to add to assurance

Amy sighed in relief, it was good to know the little fox hadn’t got himself hurt, Tails was usually the best with machinery but had the odd hiccup here and there.

Her relaxation was replaced with alertness as she watched Sonic reach towards her pound cake, Amy slapped the outstretched gloved hand which had Sonic bring it back to himself instantly. He pouted at her as he soothed his attacked hand, Amy only rolled her eyes at him.

“Don’t be rude! Shadow isn’t here yet y’know” she scolded, she loved to let people indulge in her baked goods but she believed proper etiquette was to wait for all her guests to be there first.

“Aww but we have no idea when he’ll even be here” the blue hero whined “it’s no problem if I have a piece”

“You’re a world renowned hero and can’t wait a little longer to have some cake?” she teased.

“I totally can! I just happened to not have had breakfast today, give a guy a break Ames” he protested “if was shadow instead of me you would of given him cake at the first chance”

“Maybe, but unlike you Shadow doesn’t gag at the sight of my strawberry shortcake”

“It’s not my fault it’s like the worst kind of cake” Sonic huffed. She was about to reach for the hilt of her hammer when the air began to feel hot, immediately she and Sonic braced themselves when a large field of energy popped just several feet in front of them. Just as quick as it was to appear the energy dissipated with a present Shadow replacing it. The chaos energy felt like static as it waved around the area for a moment before shadow coolly drove away the extra energy his chaos control generated.

The monstrous hedgehog searched the park for a moment before laying his eyes on the two tiny normal hedgehogs and Amy’s adorable picnic blanket under a large oak tree. It provided a nice shade from the glazing summer heat which Shadow quite liked so he began a tiny trek to the other two.

Amy had gotten used to Shadow's overwhelming presence quite quickly as did Sonic, she heard his heavy footsteps as he situated himself in front of the picnic. His large size provided additional shade from the sun which she greatly appreciated as she hadn’t expected the Temperature to rise as much as it did today. Shadow plopped himself down and awkwardly placed himself on his hind legs, his current position reminded Amy of a cat which was funny because she was sure he was only a hedgehog and lizard.

“Shadow! I’m so glad you're here” she exclaimed as she ran up to give his ankle a quick hug, he returned the gesture by placing his claws on her back gently “I managed to get Sonic here too! Isn’t that great”. The monstrous hedgehog turned to the blue hero and gave a nod of acknowledgement , Sonic returned it with a wink which Amy could have sworn had Shadow flustered for a second.

She left the ankle to return to the large blanket “I worked real hard this morning, I’ve got all kinds of tasty goods for us! I’ve got peanut butter cookie cups, rocky road, lemon drizzle, strawberry shortcake” she pointedly looked at Sonic at the last item, Shadow could only raise an eyebrow at the sudden hostility. “Oh! I also tried something new, they’re these coffee pasty knots, Rouge told me how much you love coffee Shadow so I wanted to give these a try”.

Shadows' fluffy ears perked up at the word coffee, he also couldn’t help the tinge of annoyance at his bat companion for letting slip his obsession with coffee beans. Rouge and the little hedgehogs in front of him were some of the few he trusted most, but he couldn’t help the need to keep things about himself to a minimum. He’d have a word with the bat about it later, as much as he dreaded it.

Sonic paid no attention to Amy’s list of pastries, face already stuffed with her iconic pound cake, he held two other slices in his hand. Amy commended herself for going the extra mile on the pound cake as she knew Sonic was an absolute sucker for it. She hoped he’d indulge in the other treats as she came prepared with the info that Shadow didn’t actually need to eat. It came in handy for a person like him considering his massive size and the amount of sustenance that would be needed to satisfy him if he needed to eat.

Luckily the chaos energy that inhabited every molecule of his body made the need for such a substantial amount of food non existent. Not to say he wouldn’t eat here and there, though Amy had heard he only ever ate bags of coffee beans. An odd choice of food to be consuming all the time but Amy didn’t want to judge, Shadow was an odd being in itself and she only really wanted to understand the guy. That’s what having him here for the picnic was about

Amy recalled months back when Shadow was consumed by his grief, he’d lost all he ever knew and loved to people who wanted to keep knowledge of his existence silenced. She remembered the news broadcasts that presented a monster in station square, lashing out at anything and anyone around him in reckless but anguished abandon. With hindsight she knew the fear of him was natural, but knowing his history as she did now, Amy just wanted Shadow's time on the planet to be wonderful.

She couldn’t forget, when she encountered Shadow staring upon what she later found out was his old enclosure on the abandoned ARK. He looked numb and far away, she had stood her ground and begged the giant from the depths of her heart to help the people of earth, she wasn’t sure why her words had seemed to have struck him as hard as they did but she was glad, his effort in stopping the eclipse cannon was palpable though he was greatly injured after the events and needed many weeks to recover.

She was taken out of her thoughts as Sonic began choking on what was probably his 4th serving of the pound cake, Amy rolled her eyes as the hedgehog hacked and coughed to dislodged the cake he was previously munching on. She ran over and gave him a few firm pats on the back that didn’t seem to do the job until a forefinger and thumb entered her view and flicked Sonic right on the back. It managed to dislodge the cake but the force of the flick had been too strong and sent sonic flying into some dirt a few feet away.

Amy felt bad, she really did, but she needed a second to hide her laughter at the sight, Shadow looked nonchalantly and quite a bit proud of his actions. Better for your face to be covered in earth than choking on a piece of her iconic pound cake Amy thought, she didn’t say it out loud as the expression Sonic had when he lifted himself out of the ground told her he wasn’t in the mood for teasing.

————————————————————————

Sonic was currently strewn lazily across Amy’s lap while Shadow had lay out onto his forearms not too far from them. Her treats had been significantly devoured by Sonic who decided to show what a glutton he could be today. She had clapped madly when she noticed Shadow pick up the coffee pastry between two enormous claws to give it a try, she couldn’t help herself as she hounded him on how it tasted. Shadow merely gave a “it’s good” in response which to her somehow translated to it’s the best thing ever and she squeaked in flatteration. He blushed heavily and she apologised for her excitement.

She stroked the blue hedgehogs quills, she adored the guy but she was bewildered at how he didn’t notice the amount of little twigs and leaves caught in his head, sleeping on a branch of a tree was all she got in response when pointed out the reason for their presence in his quills.

Shadow looked just as lazy as Sonic did, as he lay with his eyes closed. She appreciated how calm and relaxed the beast hedgehog looked, it was far cry from the rage filled monster he was months ago, he used to looked like the living embodiment of anger. She recalled when Sonic described his first encounter with the lizard hedgehog, it was like the air itself was boiling with Shadows rage as he and Sonic had a standoff in the centre of station square.

The ferocity at which Shadow came at Sonic on that day was terrifying, meeting again with Sonic upon prison island, she was met with the blue hedgehog recovering from an attack that Tails deducted was a poisonous sort of chaos energy Shadow was able to generate. It was no wonder how Sonic got captured so easily. Though she couldn’t imagine Shadow attacking any of them with such a move now, she knew he wouldn’t admit it but he clearly had grown to like the lot of them.

She turned her attention away from Sonic to look at Shadow, his nose would twitch every so often, probably all the pollen surrounding them giving him a bit of irritation, she noticed Sonic’s Hay fever acting up a few times during the picnic, she outstretched her hand to the nose as it was the closest thing of Shadow near her, he opened his eyes at the touch of her tiny hand on his nose and sat up a bit.

“I’m really glad you're here shadow” she expressed, his face turned absolutely red and he plopped back onto his forearms, greatly trying to hide his flushed face behind them as the assertion of Amy’s gladness for his presence warmed his heart a bit too much to handle.

“I second that” sonic exclaimed as he passively pointed his finger in the sky and then to shadow. Amy hoped the extra love would make Shadow absolutely beat red but Sonic's deceleration seemed to make the Large hedgehog think hard for a moment, he sat up completely, casting a shadow over the two little hogs and gave them a hard look.

“I don’t…deserve this” his deep voice rumbled out.

That had Amy puzzled, what did he mean by that? Though she realised she wasn’t going to get an answer by looking up cluelessly at him.

“Deserve what Shadow?” She questioned, the hard look he had melted into a look of regret and guilt,

“What I did I-“ he fumbled on his words for a moment, she knew conversation was hard for him but she was patient for an explanation of his sudden rejection of their affections “I hurt a lot of people, I hurt Sonic…you shouldn’t be so kind” he finally found the words.

She watched as he fidgeted with his claws, Sonic had sat up from her lap and looked pensive at the huge hedgehog. The atmosphere had gotten melancholic at the confession, it pieced together in Amy’s mind about Shadows usual behaviour, why he made himself scarce and his refusal to do anything with their group. The most Shadow would go out and do was the top secret missions with Rouge but that was mandatory due to his admission into GUN and Amy wouldn’t count that “getting outside”.

Even then the admission had been because GUN wanted to keep Shadow under some level of control, Rouge fought hard for Shadow to work with the defence force lest they decide to lock Shadow away or at worst put him down due to fear of his power. She knew Shadow hated it and the confession he just gave concluded the acceptance of such a job was punishment for events that transpired months ago.

The humongous hedgehog had come to some sort near peace at his currently life, but the lingering, persisting guilt of everything never left him, the guilt that his very existence got his family and many other innocent people killed, the guilt of his rage that he took out on the innocents of station square and Sonic who had done nothing but try and defend his home. But especially with what led to the near firing of the eclipse cannon, which could have destroyed the planet, the only thing that kept Maria as motivated as she was to get better and live on said planet. With him.

He dug his claws into his legs, the recollection of the events began to make his head hurt, Amy rose to her feet and beelined to a claw placed close enough for her to reach “Shadow, no no we really do love having you here! What happened to you was terrible, anyone would be as mad as you were” she asserted

“It doesn’t make what I did okay” he retorted, Shadow always made sure to keep his voice down, he possessed powerful chords due to his size but in the moment, he could feel his irritation rise, she wasn’t getting it.

“It doesn’t, you're right but you felt like everyone was against you, you had just woken up and everything was different and anyone you knew was gone!” Amy argued, shadow flinched at the reminder, it was true. His emergence from stasis was followed by his brain wracking to recollect everything that has previously happened, in that moment he could only remember panic, screams and a gunshot. It was a miracle he didn’t just tear Eggman in two when initially met with the scientist's presence.

Amy needed to be careful, she could feel Shadow beginning to growl resulting in vibrations being sent throughout the ground, it shook her up a bit but her resolve stayed strong. She didn’t want him to up and leave, thinking he didn’t deserve the bit of peace he was given today.

“They’re gone because of me, it was all cause of me” Shadow refuted, Amy didn’t know what to say, his pain ran so deep yet so fresh, to him the events hadn’t transpired 50 years ago, he was here with no people that even begin to comprehend that sort of pain

“Ohhhh my GOSH, SHADOW!” Sonic exasperated, Amy had forgotten he was still sitting on her picnic blanket as he rose up pointedly and marched over to where she stood with one of Shadows claws in her arms, “c'mon you’re waaaay smarter than this”.

Amy punched Sonic on his noodley arm, Shadow didn’t need the blue hedgehog being his cocky or passive right now, she wanted to handle the current situation delicately and Sonic was asking for a bonk with her hammer with that last response.

However he surprised her with the renewal of his last response, “you don’t seriously think I would have come out here if I knew you weren’t here?” Sonic asked

“You would have came for Amy…and the cake” shadow flatly responded as he looked down at the two hedgehog’s”

“I mean yeah” sonic sheepishly rubbed the back of his head “but I wanted to be here for you too, you disappear so often and it’s kinda really hard to find you usually”.

Shadow shrank at that, he may have wanted to keep to himself and be alone, but the declaration that Sonic made began to challenge the beliefs that he was better off in doing that.

“We really are glad you’re here with us Shads, Amy’s the most honest gal I know so don’t even try think she would lie, she know what she means when she says what she does” Sonic reasoned, Amy turned to him and let a warm smile melt on her face, she really did adore him.

“I’m not even mad about those fights we had back then, that move you pulled with your chaos energy was actually kinda sick I’m not gonna lie” Sonic admitted, he truly wasn’t lying “does that move work on robots cause it would really help me out when I’m giving Eggman's robots a good thrashing”.

Shadow was nonplussed, the blue hedgehog really just had a way of confusing the ever living chaos out of him, he couldn’t comprehend why the hero couldn’t hold a grudge. He first thought the blue hedgehog's kindness was all a charade,as for the first couple weeks as he recovered from his injuries sustained from the eclipse cannon incident, Sonic would visit from time to time and in the moment Shadow believed it was to gawk or just see how defeated he’d become. It hit shadow the reason was because Sonic genuinely cared about him.

It overwhelmed Shadow, the non-rational and impulsive part of his brain just wanted to pick Sonic up like a doll and shake him until it satisfied Shadow, he instead lay himself gently on the grass and screamed into the earth.

The trembling from the screeching Shadow did shake Sonic and Amy up a bit as the latter grabbed onto the blue hedgehog for balance, they looked fixedly at the monstrous hedgehog as he finished his muffled shouts onto the earth beneath him. He merely turned his large head towards the two afterwards looking fairly calmer which was much better than the meltdown he was clearly heading towards before.

“Do you feel better?” Amy asked as she unlatched herself from Sonic's waist.

Shadow's eyes swivelled about as he seemed to think the question over, he decided a simple nod would be best to answer.

Amy was glad to hear that, but she felt she was going to undo a bit of that release of emotion with what she was about to ask, though the time for the question seemed appropriate as she couldn’t image when she could next ask him given the chance

“Shadow… back on the ARK, when I found you and asked for your help, what made you change your mind?” She finally inquired, shadows eyes fully opened at the question, Sonic turned to her questionably.

“I mean! Um- you don’t have to answer that if you don’t want, I probably shouldn’t have asked anyway sorry!” She felt embarrassment fill her cheeks as Shadow sat up to look down at her tiny form. She wasn’t sure if it was an ignorant thing to ask, but the way Shadow stared down at her made her feel it was.

He looked away from her, she watched as his chest puffed out from a large inhale then deflated from the exhale he let out. “Someone…” Shadow hesitated for a second before continuing “on the ARK, before everything happened I had someone… a friend”.

Amy and Sonic watched as he carefully picked his words, she regret her question now as the memories Shadow tried to retrieve seemed so painful, yet he persisted “she was stuck on the ARK because of a sickness, but she really loved the earth, she made me love the earth” Amy noted how wistful he looked talking about this part of his life, “when the ARK was raided and she got…hurt, she asked me that when I got to earth, I’d do everything I could to protect it, because good people on earth deserved it… I forgot that” Shadow finished

“so when I asked…” Amy was jarred, beginning to fully understand the impact of what she thought was a small plea to the lizard hedgehog.

Shadow looked beat, it seemed such a confession had taken up most of his mental energy. Amy turned to Sonic who looked just as jarred as she felt, but then he spoke up “man shadow, that’s… a lot”.

Shadow grimaced, he agreed and yet again lay on his front, the poor guy looked like he wanted the earth to swallow him up, no doubt feeling a flurry of emotions at admitting such a thing.

“Hey I don’t know how much this means… but I think you're a good person Shadow” Sonic affirmed.

Amy watched Shadow turn to Sonic, his expression made her want to just explode as she swore she could see the yellow of his sclera grow a bit misty, she couldn’t confirm as he abruptly sat up and rubbed at his gigantic eyes before declaring “I’m gonna go”.

Amy was about to argue as she felt he could use more endearment, she was stopped as Sonic placed a hand to her shoulder “no prob Shads! Why don’t you take some Amy’s snacks with you, you don’t mind do you Ames?” he offered

She realised what he was doing, Shadow did look like he needed some time to himself and Sonic was giving him the perfect out, “oh yeah! Of course not, would you take some for Rouge please, not sure when I’ll be giving her a visit so it’s better if you take them” Amy explained as she left Sonic's side to procure a few treats into a plastic container she brought in case either Sonic or Shadow wanted some cakes to take home. She placed the container into a giant outstretched claw that Shadow bent down to offer.

He rose back to full height and eyed the two little hedgehogs, said two hedgehogs enthusiastically waved as Shadow took a few ground shaking steps away from the picnic spot, he glanced a look back at them and responded with a shy wave of goodbye before promptly chaos controlling to whatever location fit for him to decompress.

Amy felt herself relax, she wanted this picnic to be as perfect as possible and while she hadn’t intended a vent session for Shadow she was actually quite glad it had. It seemed if anyone needed that today it was him, she sat back into her blanket and let out a sigh. However the feeling of relaxation began to get nibbled away by a feeling of confusion, she looked up to see Sonic with an annoyingly large grin, she felt something that would irritate her was about to come out his mouth.

“Man your cakes were just the best today Amy” he complimented, maybe she misjudged, that was very sweet of him-

“Shame Shads didn’t eat any of the strawberry shortcake, you sure it’s just me that hates the stuff?-“

The swift swing of her hammer upon his head promptly shut him up before he could continue on with the slander of her strawberry shortcakes.

————————————————————————

Rouge was having a quiet evening all things considered, she sat In her living room sipping chamomile tea from a mug adorned with the quote “another day another slay”. The peace was not long lasting as she felt a few quakes hit her building before she heard creaks and cracks coming from the top of the roof of the apartment building.

That would have been alarming to most people but Rouge had roommates of sorts, one being a homicidal robot with a dry sense of humour and the other being a 35 foot lizard hedgehog who adored the robot's dry sense of humour. She knew the commotion was caused by the latter, she had asked him to not teleport directly on the roof so it caused minor irritation to her when he had just done so again.

She made her way out of the apartment to find the set of stairs that allowed access to the roof, Shadow wasn’t one to just forget her boundaries so she hoped everything was alright with the monstrous hedgehog.

When she opened the old squeaky door that led to the cooling air of outside, she was met with Shadow curled up into a near ball, he needed to curl as the roof didn’t have much space for him to occupy when he spent his time there, the strength of the apartment complex held out well with his weight surprisingly. His quills and scales were a little bristled so she could assume the outing she badgered him to go on may have gone sideways.

She had hoped getting him to interact with others would open up the gruff exterior he led on with, but during the months she had spent with Shadow, it opened her up to many sides of the lizard hedgehog he had yet to share with anyone excluding Omega of course. He obviously didn’t owe anyone information about himself but nonetheless she felt it would be good for him.

Rouge apprehensively approached the massive being in front of her, he was breathing softly and had his arms held to himself, something she noted he did to self soothe, “Hiya hun” she called. He rolled over to address her, looking absolutely exhausted. Whatever limited social battery she saw him with this morning was practically begging for mercy at this point.

“Picnic go well? Did you have a good time?” She asked, she didn’t mean to mother him but she couldn’t help the sense of responsibility she had over him now, the gigantic face displayed to her scrunched up in thought before he let out a noncommittal noise that sounded like a “eh” to her.

Rouge deduced he was nonverbal at this point, he tended to become so when he was overstimulated. “No prob hun, you wanna talk about it tomorrow?” She asked.

His eyes silently thanked her for the out in any more talking, he gave her a firm nod that indicated there would probably be a lot to talk about tomorrow, that was fine. She sipped a bit of her tea and looked at the sun setting before them, “do you want me to stay?”

Shadow thought it over for a moment, he was really tired of talking and interaction but for some reason, Rouge asking to stay with him after today's events felt different, he looked at her and gave another firm nod. The bat flapped her dark purple wings and landed atop the beast hedgehog's head, he could manage that, he didn’t mind when it was Rouge hanging out on his person.

He thought about the first time she had offered to stay with him, it was past dark and she had no reason to be up on the roof with him. He wasn’t wondering that now.

[coolkat223]

Oh great, you're in a cult!sagau. Everyone wants you. That said you do have godly powers at your disposal. Whenever a character gets a bit too worshippy of you, they get a SMITE! Which is to say, a bonk on the hand, giving them a cartoony lump. Anyone calling you "Your Grace" also gets a SMITE!ing. (Xingqiu is allowed to say "My Leige", though he's on thin ice.) I prefer the SMITE!ing to come from a cartoonly large hammer, but other means are welcome. Most importantly, it doesn't majorly damage or injure them but it does hurt like heck. (The younger ones get a simple flick on the forehead, I'm not that cruel.)

In more simple terms, cranky GN!Reader using their power to vibe check those who annoy/simp over them.

Now this will be very interesting. A GN!Reader who have enough of being called "Your Grace" decide to SMITE them to stop being overboard of what they are doing and added to it might be scolded them to stop doing it.

•You awaken in Teyvat, discovering that the inhabitants revere you as a god.

• All of the characters from Mondstadt, Liyue, Inazuma, Sumeru, and Fontaine flock to you, calling you "Your Grace."

• ...And then you getting very annoyed by them calling you 'That' so many times and also that they all are getting too worshiping you...So you decide to teach them some valuable lessons 😈.

• Venti is the first to receive a SMITE! for his overly enthusiastic worship, resulting in a comical lump on his head and a lecture from you.

• Noelle tries to build a shrine in your room. SMITE! You remind her that her dedication to helping others is what truly matters.

• Klee, excited to meet you, gets a light flick on the forehead, making her giggle.

• Xingqiu greets you as "My Liege," narrowly avoiding a SMITE! but receiving a stern warning glance.

• Zhongli, with his deep reverence, gets a SMITE! for his formalities, resulting in a cartoonish lump and a lecture about normal greeting and a exter lecture of to not use Mora on over exaggerating stuff.

• Childe challenges you to a duel to prove his loyalty. SMITE! getting a very large lump on his head. You lecture him on the importance of peace and understanding over conflict.

• Ayato's elaborate bow and flowery speech result in a SMITE! and a reminder to keep things casual.

• Itto boldly proclaims you as the "Supreme Oni Overlord," getting a hefty SMITE! making him have the largest lump on top of his head and a lesson in humility.

• Kokomi devises a complex strategy to maximize your worship. SMITE! You encourage her to use her skills for the people's benefit

•Collei's shy reverence leads to a gentle flick in the forehead and encouragement to be more relaxed.

•Dehya's bold proclamation of your divinity results in a SMITE! and a lesson on equality.

• Clorinde's formal salute earns her a SMITE! and a lesson on casual interaction.

• Sigewinne's scientific curiosity saves her from a SMITE!, but she receives a cautionary note

• After each SMITE, you patiently explain your desire to be treated as a normal person, emphasizing the importance of humility, community, and genuine connections.

• Over time, the characters begin to understand, shifting their focus from worship to building meaningful relationships and working together for the betterment of Teyvat.

[britt-kageryuu]

The VTurtles! Clip Channel~

-----------------

Leo: I was voted 'Most Handsome' in school.

Donnie: We were homeschooled Blue, and that vote was rigged.

Leo: You just had to ruin my fun didn't you?

Donnie: Of course. It's my job as the Older Twin!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Raph: Honestly strangest moment from our childhood, was probably when, a bit after we got our own rooms, we get woken up in the middle of the night by a loud as hell fart. Smelled awful too. No one would fess up. We were arguing for days before learning it was Pops.

In the distance a faint "THE STINKY RAT BLAMED ME! SO I HID ALL OF HIS SNACKS!!" could be heard from somewhere in the studio.

+++++++++++

Mikey: So I may have been almost fired for throwing something at a customer. Thankfully the customer was one Incident away from being banned. So everything worked out okay.

The visible chat is asking what he threw, and what the customer did.

==========

Donnie: I loved Mythbusters as a kid. Unfortunately the don't try this at home rule was enforced by Red. Though Blue, Mandarin, and I have tested some of the tamer paint related experiments.

There is a pause before Donnie continues.

Donnie: Besides it was on Staten Island, the place needed some improvement. Wish we could've gone to Jersey, but Blue is technically illegal there, being a Red Eared Slider and such.

<><><><><><>

A clip of Mikey on a makeshift Balance Beam, performing some amazing stunts. Then the dismount. Pan to the judges, and it's a group if stuffed animals holding cards with random pictures on them.

Leo: Who hired these guys? I woulda given him at least 2 unicorns!

Raph: They're doing their best okay!?

×××××××××××

Sunny walking around the studio carrying her ribbon, then jumping onto a shelf and putting it on a small pedestal. Then sitting looking proud with herself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

A video of the 'Hatchlings' fighting over pieces of paper that have different names on them.

Kendra: We let them pick their names from a list, and they can't make up their minds, stealing the papers even if they don't want them. Mine wanted to be Amethyst Wyvern, but then Wyrms keeps stealing the paper. Brave move from him honestly.

÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷÷

Donnie swinging his hammer and then lightly bonks Mikey on the head with a spoken 'Bonk.' with a squeaky toy sound effect.

______________

From the concert:

Raph and Stars (Mona Lisa) models are noticeably close in height with Raph being taller. Star then without warning just fireman carries Raph off the stage.

Raph looks like he's had this happen before, and isn't surprised.

------------------

Masterpost

I was a bit bored, and watching some meme videos, if only to get some inspiration for what to have the Turtles say. Only like 2 of these might be based on memes, I honestly can't remember.

[ddarker-dreams]

Idk if this is a weird thing to say but I'm 19 and seeing so many older ppl indulging their normal interests on twitter and tumblr and jusr joking around and sharing memes makes me feel like the world isn't ending becoz college and job has been looming over me and I keep thinking my life as a person of my own is over SEEING U GUYS IS JUST REASSURING

it isn't weird at all!!!!!!!!!!!!

that transitional phase from teenage to adult is notoriously wonky. 0/10 would not experience again. the way i look at it, you never have to abandon your interests as you get older. what ends up happening is that you'll come to appreciate it from different perspectives. i find that prospect exciting. how i interact with hxh's story at 22 is far different from when i first watched it at 15. i imagine i'll be able to say the same regarding my current age in a few years.

this ask really touched my heart though because man do i get what you mean 😭😭😭 i remember thinking that i was so behind on life, since i couldn't drive and didn't have a job yet. i wish i could go back and tell past lock to be kinder to herself. that's the message i want to impart on you too! it is stressful and the Existential Dread does start poking its head up from the sewers, but you can bonk it with a hammer.

life's just starting!! i won't consider myself a hag until i'm like 90. even then i'll be working cat eyeliner though, as the lord intended.

[beanghostprincess]

Also what if when the Red Haired and Strawhat pirate crews finally meet. They meet in a populated area and celebrate meeting each other: Shanks and Luffy bond while Usopp and Yasopp are actually doing well together and bonding too. And Sanji (even tho being in a relationship) still fawns over the village girls every once in a while when he's there (not intensely but y'know). And Yasopp sees him and don't think anything of it until Usopp introduces him as his boyfriend. Which quickly pisses him off after seeing how he acts. Which results in Yasopp not liking him, bc well okay, makes sense, but then it leads to him saying he's not allowed to date his son as if he has any control over his life. Which leads to Yasopp and Sanji hating each other and arguing. But also Usopp hating both of them (Sanji for looking at other women still and Yasopp for dictating his life) and refusing to be around them for a while until Sanji and Yasopp realize they were jerks and apologize to him once he calms down.

This been on my head for a long while and I couldn't help but spill since you brought up Yasopp.

Let me kiss your brain. Please. Like. Come here right now and let me kiss your forehead. This is- This is so- Okay. I NEED A MOMENT. I need a moment. Let me breathe. Just a moment.

...

Okay, I'm done breathing. This is AMAZING. And now you have to deal with me talking about it!!!

I think Sanji and Yasopp would not get along because of what you just said. Sanji would still simp for girls everywhere (like, that's something that will never change. And it's not like he tries to sleep with them, he's loyal to Usopp. He's just very, uh, sexually attracted to them an insane amount. Usopp should have permission to bonk him with a hammer every time he does that tbh) and Yasopp would instantly think that he's not good for his son. Which is, you know, understandable, but who is he in Usopp's life to talk about his future? Or at least that's what Sanji would say, complaining about how he doesn't have any right to decide if he's good for his son, keeping in mind that he has never been around.

Yasopp left, but he still cares for his son and he wants to have a good relationship with him. Seeing Sanji like that makes him think about Shanks and Buggy's relationship and that's just not what he wants for Usopp (Shanks, baby, I love you but you're so not beating the cheater allegations). And Sanji... Sanji doesn't have a good relationship with father figures (obviously this is about Judge and not Zeff. Zeff, I love you) and men in general, so tbh I think he would already be a bit resentful towards Yasopp even before meeting him. He would try to hold back, of course, be friendly for Usopp's sake and all. But it doesn't work out.

I find this concept amazing because they care and love Usopp so much that they actually forget about what Usopp truly wants. Overprotective much?? I think they would end up bonding over that, too!!! Usopp would get angry at both of them first, though:

Usopp: What do you mean he's not good for me? You don't know him! Yasopp: But I'm sure he would love to know every girl around here, wouldn't he? If you know what I mean. He's going to end up breaking your heart, kiddo, I know people like him. For fuck's sake, Shanks is like him! Shanks: I'll have you know I am a very stable individual and your captain and a little bit of sexual freedom never hurt anyone! Yasopp: Tell that to your ex-boyfriend. Shanks: Ouch. Unnecessary. Usopp: You don't know him! And for starters, you don't even know me! He's wonderful and perfect for me and even if he weren't, you shouldn't have a say in my romantic life! If you wanted to act like a dad, you should've started years ago! Sanji: Thanks, mon trés- Usopp: And you. Don't you dare mon trésor me right now! My dad might not be allowed to say shit like this about you, but I am. I've gotten used to you flirting with every average-looking girl you see, but I'm sick and tired of you acting like a dog in heat with them. Especially when I'm around. It's- I thought I could just deal with it because I'm not a jealous person, but you need to get your shit together, Sanji. Both of you need to get your shit together. And if you excuse me, I'm going to have a drink with the others because I need a long, long break from you two. [...] Zoro: Now you've done it, curly. Told you you'd fuck this up someday. Sanji: I'm going to murder you. [...] Shanks: And you say I'm the bad father. Yasopp: You still are. Shanks: Maybe, good point there, but I'm not the only one. So that's a relief.

And then they would end up talking things out, of course, because Usopp is the most important person in their lives. I would like to see them bond over that, realizing that they both care about him a lot and that's why all of this happened. Sanji tells Yasopp that, even if he's pretty much obsessed with women, he would never be disloyal to Usopp. Usopp is the one for him. If he says he wants to get married to him one day, Yasopp is the only one who hears it. Sanji just needs to control his urges a lot, tbh. And Yasopp says that he knows he's not allowed to decide who his son should or shouldn't date, but he just wants to be a good father and enjoy the time they have together without some guy breaking Usopp's heart. He doesn't know how to be a dad, but he's willing to try for him.

So I think they end up getting along! Sanji cooks for both crews, of course, and Yasopp is delighted to taste his food. They spend the time laughing and talking about Usopp and Sanji won't stop explaining every adventure they've had together. Usopp, on the other hand, isn't as angry anymore (after talking to Nami about it) and watches from a distance how friendly they are now. This raises the question:

Usopp: God, are they going to be like that now? Nami: Is there an issue with that? Usopp: I don't know. Maybe? It's just weird. Robin: Maybe they start talking about all of your dirty secrets and embarrassing memories :) (<- Super friendly and not at all scary smile) Usopp: I want to die.

At some point, Sanji brings Usopp food and Yasopp comes along. They both apologize to him and, well, it's not as scary as Usopp thought. And they might be stupid and flawed, but they're still two of the people he loves the most.

Gonna have a whole breakdown over this now, thank you. I'm gonna think about this all day long. And tomorrow too. I'm sobbing. I have a lot of thoughts right now. Thinking about Sanji asking Yasopp for Usopp's hand because he's just classy like that and Yasopp accepting and Sanji like: "Okay, cool, because I was going to marry him anyway even if you said no. Glad I didn't have to kick your ass."

I'm gonna cherish this ask forever. Thank you. <3

[fever-project]

What are some hildavio headcanons you have?

Just woke up, let’s see how many I can dredge up from the recesses of my mind.

They would sleep in separate beds most of the time because one of them would almost always be kicked off. Even in a bigger bed, they always managed to have one of them floor before they wanted to wake up.

Ravio likes to follow Hilda around, “for your safety” he says. But they both know it’s because he likes her company, and vice versa. He once accidentally followed her into the bathroom once. Or twice. He gets too distracted by whatever conversation he’s having from time to time. Walked into a doorframe more than once. It always gets Hilda to laugh though, and Ravio thinks that’s all that matters.

If either of them offhandedly mentions they want something, the other will get it. Hilda rarely, if ever does this, and it’s usually on purpose when she does it. It’s a coin flip on whether or not Ravio’s doing it on purpose, and Hilda always playfully flicks him on the forehead after giving him her gift.

They like to watch over their kingdom together. They go onto a balcony to watch the sun set over the kingdom they’re restoring. A moment of peaceful silence between the two.

Ravio likes to bonk people on the head with his hammer. He occasionally bonks Hilda, and when he does, she takes his hammer and bonks him back. They can end up in a near endless cycle of bonking each other until it’s Sheerow time for the bonking. That bird will snatch the hammer from either of their hands and chase after the both of them.

[ofpineapplesanddawns]

Here's just a little one-shot for my werewolf Peter au, with Aro and Peter still in Vegas, cause at some point they'll be heading to Italy.

Summary: Aro is snooping about Peter's collection, and has opinions. Peter does not want those opinions.

Warning: Aro being his usual asshole self

On with the fic!

--

"You do know that these are not real, yes?" Aro commented, staring into a glass case.

Peter glared deeply from where he was leaning, knowing exactly what Aro was looking at. "I know that, but it's still a collector's item anyway."

"It is..." Aro chuckled, clearly finding this whole thing humorous, as he had been through much of his browsing of Peter's home museum. "But it's so silly what you humans, well, former in your case,"

"Oi!"

"thought would be perfect for killing vampires. Granted, yes, some items can do damage and even kill, but not everything here could work on all species."

"True, but a stake through the heart is still a stake through the heart."

Aro gave him a toothy smile, smug bastard. He didn't have to say anything, Peter was very aware that he was of that weird, bizarre kind that had stone-like bodies. Peter considered ordering a hammer and chisel, that might do the job.

"Yeah, yeah," Peter rolled his eyes, "the vampire huntin' kits were a gimmick to make money off of people during the satanic panic shit. It's still fuckin' cool to have on display."

"Is this also why you have a silver gun with silver bullets on display as well?"

Peter looked at the case, bristling on instinct. That stupid, wolfy part of him hated knowing it was here, but it was still something he kept around, some vampires were harmed by silver. So was Peter, but that's what gloves were for when he handled it! If he ever needed to handle it again, that is.

"Shut up." Peter replied and moved among the cases. "Are you going to critic everythin' I have in my collection?"

"No, some of it is impressive, I will admit." Aro spoke as he moved about as well, before coming across a bookshelf. "You read?"

"Course I do!"

"I just figured you were... above such things, what with your face always looking at your phone. Or a mirror."

"Har har." Peter sneered, watching as Aro looked at the collection. It was one of several bookshelves in the penthouse, this one was centered on vampires, figured it would be good to have those books near the tools and weapons.

Aro dragged a finger over the spines, muttering to himself as he read over the titles on display. He paused on one, and slipped it out. Peter recognized the cover and winced, glancing away.

The vampire stared at the book in silence, then flipped through it. "Is this... research material?"

"Look, dude, it's about vampires, and there are other vampire novels on the shelf. You can clearly see my several editions of Dracula there. The first edition is a case over there." Peter rambled, but Aro seemed to be ignoring him.

"This is a romance novel."

The werewolf groaned and bonked his head on a glass case. "Don't say that..."

"But it is. The human boy in this clearly seems interested in the vampire girl, who seems to be a stalker. Even going so far as to oil the windows so as to not wake this Beau human." Aro frowned and closed the book shut with a loud thump. "This is terrible."

"People love it." Peter grunted. "The vampires remind me of your species. How well known are your kind?"

"A little too well known if some woman with questionable tastes thinks it's appropriate to put them in there." Aro said with a growl in his voice. Peter ignored how it made something flare in his stomach, best to not look into that for now.

He just shrugged. "Maybe she did some research. I dunno. I mean, her research skills are... not great, considerin' what she did with the wolf characters, pretty terrible shit she did with the real tribe in it."

Aro's frown deepened, and he muttered something to himself, Peter only just catching something about Washington, huh? "Do romance novels help you with research at all, or are they just trash you read to justify some monster-related kink that you have? Because some of the other books you have here are pulp fiction romances."

He snatched another book off the shelf and Peter snarled, trying to snatch it away. "Shut up! It's research material!"

Aro smiled as he looked at the cover, easily dodging Peter. "Oh, is this a vampire and werewolf story? How curious! I wonder what thoughts it provokes in you!"

"Oh my fuckin'- give me that shit!" Peter shouted, trying to get it back, but Aro was suddenly across the room, looking at the contents.

He had the damn nerve to giggle as he read something. "Ah, the receipt in this that you are using as a bookmark is from last week! You must be doing some very serious research right now!"

Peter whined and considered if he should break one of the cases to grab for a dagger or something, anything to get that stupid fang face to stop talking- oh god, is he reading some of it aloud now!?

--

That shitty genderbent version of Twilight exists in this universe, even though Edward and Bella are real people. Aro is curious how this writer around about them, he might have to make some calls...

Also, Peter has a collection of werewolf books too, but most of those are not really research materials. A lot of them are pulpy. :)

[shadow-westopolis-dystopia]

Westopolis Dystopia part 1

Intro Post | Next | AO3 Link And so it begins. Project Shadow, our protagonist, is over at Amelia Rose's place. All of a sudden Amy's cousin, Rob, runs in with interesting news he heard about some new changes the Eggman Empire is doing and it kick starts a new adventure.

Shadow thought he knew a lot of things, his mind wanders constantly as he walks down the smoke filled streets of Westopolis. Yet no matter where he goes, it senses a heavy feeling down his spine.

He’s never seen a calm day in his life and even less so in a world like this, recalling the days it all went down and the few months that came afterwards is rather difficult for him. All he knows is that he’s painted as a threat, a misfit. The question to be asked is.. Does he even care?

No. No he doesn’t.

Until… recently…

[JUNKYARD. OUTSKIRTS OF WESTOPOLIS. HOUSE OF THE WILTED ROSE]

“Guys, everyone! gather 'round. Pardon the rapid intrusion yet I hast important tidings that I gathered from when I was out and about!” Called out a green hedgehog in a hood with a cybernetic bow and arrows on his back as he quickly opened the door, setting down his weapons and pouch by the same door he came through.

“Huh? What’s going on, cuz?” Spoke a pink hedgehog named Amy who had been sitting on the couch of the small home, cleaning her hammer.

“HEY! Pipe down, you don’t have to scream about it!” Said a semi frustrated echidna named Knuckles who had been eating in the kitchen while listening to music.

“Oh calm down dear, what Rob has to say is probably better than your aspiring rap career.” Those words came from a bat in heels named Rouge with very nice clothes and makeup who walked up to the echidna to just mock him.

The only quiet one of the crowd that were present in the room, was a black hedgehog, our lovely Shadow who was mentioned before, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, pointy claws and a long tail to accompany it. All it did was lift up his head and look in the direction in which the chatter and yelling came from. He was only there because the bat had forced it to tag along. Something about ‘Not being an emo loner’, whatever that means.

“I be sorry if my intrusion made ye all argue. I but doth say that this is actually revolutionary information I hast gathered and it’d be best if I could tall ye as soon as possible.” Rob said as he adjusted his hood once he walked to the center of the living room.

“Eeh, don’t be sorry. You know that this is a very normal and calm reaction from everyone” The pink hedgehog giggled a little after saying that. “Especially from Knuckles” She also pointed out as she made a small sign to the echidna in the kitchen. Causing him to push out his chair and stomp his way over to where the two hedgehogs were.

“I’m not deaf you know, you could have just told me to come over here and not be a dick about it” He complained as he looked over at the pink hedgehog who made the snarky comment prior, who’s reaction to this was just to laugh a little.

As the pink hedgehog and the equidna bickered, the bat swooped in and sat on the couch with grace as she laid down slightly leaning against the arm rest of the couch with her legs crossed on the ground, one boot in the air as she got comfy.

“Settle down now you two, you’ve kept the poor boy waiting. If this is as dire as he says it is, then we probably should listen instead of picking on one another.”

The equidna and the hedgehog looked at Rouge and nodded. The equidna lifting up to fingers and making the typical ‘I have my eyes on you’ signal to the hedgehog, who just rolled her eyes and sat beside Rouge.

“Thank you kindly m’lady. As I was trying to say ere. Wherein I was out and returning from mine time of stealing riches, I befell to hast overheard some talk towards the outskirts of the Empire’s base…”

“Ooh this just got interesting, hmm~” Said the bat as she was listening to Rob speak.

“What the hell is he yappin’ abo-” Interrupted the equidna before being bonked on the head by the pink hedgehog.

“ 'Twere a couple of guards speaking about how there shall be some supposed changes 'i this land. I couldn't hark much details, yet I didst understand that there shall be some kind of alliance going on 'twixt the Empire and another group of not so pleasant people. Whom they are? I hast  not a clue. Yet I doth wot that they are not from hither”

When the green hedgehog got done talking about what he saw, Shadow got up from leaning against the wall and walked over to where everyone was gathered around.

“Alliance? And no names?”

“Ah! Yes that is correct. And I be not allowed to up and ask 'em for further details.”

“AN ALLIANCE? You have to be kiddin’ me! Those dirtbags are up to no good and the situation has already been hard recently” Shouted the pink hedgehog as she wasn’t pleased with this news.

“Calm down sugar, we can’t do anythin’ if you’re all riled up”. A sudden voice responded as a cyborg bunny wearing a cowgirl hat walked in. Everyone turned around upon hearing the lady speak.

“BUNNIE!” Amy cheered as she got up and hugged the person who just walked in.

“Hey hey, careful there little lady” replied the cyborg bunny as she hugged the pink hedgehog. She then patted her on the back and started walking to Rob.

“I couldn’t help but overhear some of your conversation, so you know about this hidden alliance that’s going on behind the scenes?”

Rob was caught off guard by the fact that Bunnie understood that so clearly, mostly because Bunnie never understands him, so she must know something. “Correct, I overheard a conversation today as I was fleeing the place where I got today's riches. We hast no names of whom the alliance is with though”.

“Funny thing ya say that bucko… Because I actually heard that it may be the Black Arms alien race.”

As soon as everyone heard those last words come out of Bunnie’s mouth, everyone was left shocked but the one who was the most stunned by it was Shadow.

“You’re telling me that..”

“Mhm. I ain’t sugarcoatin’ it one bit. Your species has returned to make our life even more of a livin’ hell.”

Shadow clenched it’s fist after hearing Bunnie say that, as much as he wanted to just go and punch her in the face, he knew that it shouldn’t because it would make the situation worse.

“Thank you for your brutal honesty and damned opinions, but I have nothing to do with them and I thought I had disposed of them.”

Bunnie crossed her arms and tapped her robotic foot on the ground as she stood there staring at Shadow. “Well, if ya did then why are they back? Answer that.”

The mood in the room started to sway as the conversation started to get heated. Everyone but Bunnie and Shadow were left sitting there in silence.

“I’ll be real, I don’t fucking know! I killed off their leader, they should be all dead and burning in the pits of hell, they can’t function without a leader!” Shadow yelled as he raised his fist a little, his claws starting to tear his gloves slightly, other than anger, he felt something more profound in it’s heart as he said that.

This is now when the bat got up and decided to intervene, walking up behind Shadow and resting her hands on his tense shoulders.

“Hey…” She said as she looked towards Bunnie. “Cut the bullcrap, I understand your frustration, I feel the same way, we all feel the same way, even Shadow. If he says he isn’t on the side of the Black Arms, then he is not. Alright? We’re not getting anywhere with stupid fights.”

Bunnie put down her arms and sighed as she faced down, before looking back up at the bat and alien hedgehog. “Right, I apologize for gettin’ myself carried away. I don’t trust you, but that doesn’t mean I get to be mean about it. It’s just stressful.”

Shadow just groaned and moved Rouge off of him before turning around and heading towards the door.

“Shadow-” Rouge said as she reached out for him after seeing it’s sudden actions. Shadow just looked at Rouge and walked out the door, slamming it from behind. Bunnie sighed and put her hands on her hips as she shook her head with disappointment. “What troublesome times. He’s gonna throw an adult temper tantrum while we sit here and suffer knowin’ that those aliens are gonna use us for food.”

“That’s enough Bunnie.” Said Rouge as she turned back to look at the cyborg bunny. “If all you’re going to do is stand there and be an adult bully, then I’m leaving too. If this is all true, I am better off spending my time preparing than having to teach you a lesson about bullying.”

Bunnie looked up at Rouge with a face of annoyance as she watched her also walk out the door and then fly away.

Everyone else who was gathered around the living room was just sitting there blinking.

“Wow. That was something.” Said the pink hedgehog as she pushed herself upwards on the couch. “Say.. How did you even get that information anyways?”

Bunnie turned to face Amy after hearing that, lifting a hand up with a finger out to poke her own cheek as she spoke. “Uhh… I know a few folks who gather information about the government’s plans and stuff.”

Rob, the hedgehog in the hood, who had been sitting there quietly for a while now took a minute to look at Bunnie and then back at Amy. He then lifted up a hand and spoke. “But dear cousin, lady Bunnie hath mentioned ere about these groups of people. I also associate with 'em from time to time, one of 'em is a lady by the name of Relic Lapis”

Amy sat there thinking for a moment, she hadn’t known of the existence of such a group before hand, probably because nobody wants to associate with her, she then lifted up her head and answered. “Huh… Interesting.”

[HIDDEN ALLEYWAY. WALLED ENTRANCE OF WESTOPOLIS.]

Once again, Shadow was left wandering the streets of the city, left alone with his thoughts that taunted him every minute and the heavy emotional pain falling down his spine.

“AAUUURGHH�� A ‘schkhrouching’ noise was heard as the alien hedgehog scrapped his claws against metallic jugs in the alleyway, only to then kick said metallic jugs that were scratched.

He stood there, breathing so heavily you could see his chest moving and his eyes glow slightly, like an enraged monster. But he then calmed down and just stared at his dark reflection in the now banged up metal. Shadow lifted one of it’s hands and face palmed himself as the hand moved down from his face.

“I have to get myself together…

Nobody can stop them but me….

But why are they back…? How… How are they back…?”

Shadow said to himself as he looked out from the entrance of the alleyway, looking up to see the huge building from afar that was the Empire’s main building, where the leader of everything resided. “Whoever you are… I will find you. That’s my mission.”

And just like that, the alien hedgehog walked back into the alleyway, returning to the place in which he stays to plan out how it will proceed with the new objective he has in mind.

[cutthroatcarnival]

Febuwhump Day 13: “You Weren’t Supposed To Get Hurt”

Tags/Warnings: mild blood and injury, canon typical violence

Wind is tired of being treated like a child. Twilight is definitely not making it any easier.

Read it on AO3!

Kid Hero

Wind brandished his hammer, performing a spin move that sent his enemies flying, turning them into purple wisps before they even hit the ground. He could see Twilight watching him out of the corner of his eye, fighting the urge to flip him off.

He instead rolled his eyes, gritting his teeth together to prevent anything accusatory from slipping out. The rancher had been like this the past few days; constantly watching and hovering near him, and Wind was starting to grow tired of it.

Why couldn’t Twilight choose someone else to hover over? With a distinctive ‘hyah-bonk!’ He crushed the approaching enemy. It was getting on his nerves; did the rancher think he was unable to deal with things himself? Slamming his hammer into the ground sent the enemies up into the air.

The sailor could feel Twilight’s eyes burning a hole in his back- he wouldn’t be surprised if his tunic had a scorch mark from how much the rancher stared- making his annoyance skyrocket. Wind was a hero multiple times over, he didn’t need a giant mother cucco on his heels.

At least the enemies made a good outlet for his anger. Did Twilight truly think he was incapable? He’s not a child! Hyah-bonk! He made himself the hero! Hyah-bonk! He stabbed Ganondorf through the skull! Hyah-bonk! Wind didn’t need the herding or concern from the rancher at all! Hyah-bonk!

His ears twitched and something inside of him broke, making him whirl around mid-fight, “Stop staring at me!” Miscalculation on his part. He felt a club connect with his head, sending him flying. Laying on the grass, the sailor gasped for breath as his head throbbed. Groaning, Wind pushed himself up, unsheathing his sword, but before he could even take a step, Twilight was in front of him, pushing him back down.

“Sweet Ordona, Wind! Why would you turn around like that in the middle of a fight?” Wind was done.

“If you had stopped staring at me, this little accident would have never happened! You’ve been staring at me all week non-stop!” He seethed, glaring at Twilight, watching recognition and guilt slowly climb onto his face, but the sailor wasn’t quite done yet.

“You weren’t supposed to get hurt-“ Twilight started, reaching out for Wind.

Wind gestured aggressively at the trickling blood on his head, “It’s a little late for that!” All his pent-up anger from the week was bubbling over the surface, “Do you think I can’t hold my own? Well, I can! I’m not some child who needs constant surveillance!” His angry tirade was muffled by Twilight’s shoulder as the hero pulled him into a hug.

“But you are a child,” Wind growled, pushing at the other’s chest, breaking away from the embrace, “You’re only fourteen…” Twilight trailed off, looking away and off into the distance. Some of his anger dissipated, replaced instead with curiosity.

“I’m fourteen, so what? Definitely not the youngest starting age, so what’s the big deal?”

The sheer speed of Twilight’s head snapping back towards him made him jump- the look on his face was a little funny- chasing away most of his anger. Twilight stared at him incredulously, Wind blinked at him in return.

“What’s the big deal? What’s the big deal?! You were, and still are, a child, yet you fight better than some adults I know! You’re an accomplished hero!”

“Then why were you staring at me like I wasn’t?!”

“Because I was afraid you were going to get yourself killed!” He snapped. Twilight slapped his hands over his mouth, eyes wide and nervous. Wind stared at the older hero, wearing a face of complete disbelief.

“You don’t trust my abilities?”

“That’s not what I was-“

“It sounded like you were! You don’t trust my abilities because I’m a child, and suddenly my years of heroing don’t matter! In the name of the Three Golden Goddesses, leave me alone!” Wind screamed, whirling around and stomping away, ignoring the looks Twilight and the others were giving him; he was a hero. He didn’t need their pity.

Wind collapsed against a tree, sliding down to slump amongst its roots. Tears pricked at his eyes and quickly flooded over, pattering on the leaves below as they slid off his cheeks. His head ached, so did his throat, and especially his chest. He buried his face into his own arm, sobbing from both the physical and emotional pain. The other heroes would be fine without him for a while.

[shmowder]

Damn, your last work on Mark was inspiring enough for me. I remember that four years ago, when I first found out about the game he was my favorite character. My taste is awful :D

Anyway, a scenario came to my mind. Mark could be something of an incubus for reader, harassing them either for fun or to achieve endless devotion to himself (perhaps both). He would do anything to make their lives a living hell, just because he finds their fear somehow beautiful in its roughness. No one else will know about his visits, which will give the person the impression that they are going crazy, and this is all an unknown symptom of the Sand Plague. But because of the fear of becoming a "laboratory rat", reader does not dare to inform doctors about their ethereal pursuer. And one day when Mark disappears for a few days, they will suddenly realizes that they misses his sardonic presence, and will dream of meeting him again. Then their bond will become the strongest. And most painful.

🧡 anon

This concept just bonked me on the head with a cartoonishly large hammer, I have been flattened into a two-dimensional circual disk on the floor as we speak. It hit all the right spots.

Incubus Mark Immortell, that's exactly what I have been missing from my life all along. Tormentor and annoyed person who secretly enjoys it are my bread and butter.

The Devil Works Hard

[Heavy Smut, Exhibition, Near mindbreak, slight sadism]

[Top Dom Incubus Mark Immortell, GN Reader]

-

The coughing fit caught you off-guard, your body exerting with each forced exhale, as if your own flesh was attempting to cast your lungs out, the contrasting muscle pushed to its limits with each breath.

It took you by surprise, the so-called angel aiming for you much like an arrow reaching for its mark. You barely had a moment to react, and by the time the realisation dawned on you, the plague particles had already seeped into your skin, weaved through your lungs and made itself at home inside your skull.

All the preventive methods you've diligently upkept, all the protective clothes you've adorned, all the effort you've put in.

Planning each route you'd take, carefully sidestepping the infected areas unless absolutely necessary, avoiding the mainstream streets and cautiously taking the back alleys and grassy routes where it's less crowded.

All gone to waste in a mere split second, a coin toss of fate, a blind swing that landed bullseye.

In the following days, the symptoms started making themselves known as the plague took a liking to you, sealing your fate.

-

Sweat droplets rolled down your forehead before you could wipe them away, a fever spreading fast throughout your whole body, setting your skin ablaze.

It felt like you were melting into the mattress below, becoming one with the cotton sheet.

Summoning all that remained of your strength to extend your arm, you attempted to reach the glass atop the nearby nightstand. Fingers trembling, your throat closing in on itself as your eyes pored at the water inside with.

Fingertips grazing the side of the glass, its cool surface a small relief in contrast to your boiling blood.

Just as you were about to wrap your greedy fingers around it, a flash of red slapped it out of your loose grip, sending the glass wobbling over the edge of the nightstand alongside your hopes and dreams before the sharp sound of shattering roared through the room like a flash of thunder.

"You poor thing."

A voice—not the plague's; higher in pitch, clear, mocking—came from the edge of your bed.

The first thing you noticed about this...creature wasn't its long thin tail, nor the wide horns sprouting from its forehead. It wasn't the devil-like wings spread proudly on display emitting from its back or the elongated nails resembling sheathed claws.

It was his smirk, thin lips forming a menacing smile, without any razor-sharp teeth in sight, straight instead, human-like, lively, mocking.

Oh, you think, have you gone crazy? You must have if your hallucinations were this vivid.

"You have not." The creature–"Director, you mean. Mr. Immortell would suffice as well." Said.

Oh, you think, it—

"He." Mark corrected.

—He was reading your thoughts.

Was he a symptom of the plague, too? Out of the three healers that visited you daily with antibiotics, not a single one mentioned this stage of the disease.

"Which makes you an anomaly case." His smile, which you thought was already stretched wide enough, somehow deepened even more. "If the Bachelor doesn't melt your brain with his experimental medicine and prodding, then the Haruspex might just drag you onto the nearest surgery table and dig through your guts, or would our beloved miracle maker see you as a befitting sacrifice, a lamb sent by the gods, a crucial part in achieving her grand design."

Your guest kindly explained your current predicament with self-assured confidence as if he knew those three personally.

"Because I do, I've tailored each part to befit this story. You, on the other hand...." In the blink of an eye, a literal blink, he was on top of you. "....were an accident, a pathetic one at that. You really didn't see that cloud coming? You could've just stood in place to make it disappear, but even that was too hard for your brain to follow; you just had to shake in fear and become another burden on our already exhausted heros."

Pale blue eyes stared into your own, an expecting look demanding you explain yourself. Immortell's gaze making you feel impossibly small underneath him, akin to a child in trouble called out by their teacher in front of the whole class.

Frozen in place, your attempt to evade his gaze was deemed rather unimpressive by him.

One of his claws trailed upwards your neck, sending shivers down your spine. Caressing your jaw, digging into your bottom lip before–"suck"—his thumb forced its way into your mouth, pressing down your tongue, claw almost touching the back of your throat, an inch away from triggering your gag reflex.

Your glare only furthered the look of satisfaction on his face as you obeyed his order, shame dusting your reddening cheeks as you sucked his thumb, feeling it rub against your tongue.

"I could've simply removed you from the stage, burned your script, and wrote your part out. You were never that significant. A nameless faceless background character meant to only fill in the void, to give the illusion of a lively town."

The director made space for himself between your legs, spreading your thighs open as he pressed flush against you. Only the thin layer of clothes remained, a final separation line between–"Those must go."–the room air felt refreshing against your bare skin, alas that feeling was short-lived as another body heat joined yours, skin against skin, you felt a hardness pressing between your spread thighs.

"But here I am, offering you a second chance. I don't believe there is such a thing as bad actors, only untrained ones. A punishment is in order to discipline you, it's the duty of a director to look after his cast. Diamonds can only be forged under extreme pressure."

You couldn't speak. You couldn't talk, not with his thumb plugging your mouth. Only whine and drool around it. Lay down and take all that which he gives you.

"You're here by choice; you signed that contract." He reminded you, "You wanted to become part of something greater than your skin, desperate for any role in this play, to finally amount to something."

The head of his cock pressed against your dry–"wet"— soaking wet hole, sliding inside with ease after the long hours of preparation it took to get it to this stage.

Your body welcomed the intrusion, clenching around his cock each time it'd slide out as if attempting to pull it back inside, begging to be completely filled.

The more Mr. Immortell's hips rocked against your own with slow rhythmic thrusts, the more your body became pliant, desperate to obey and cater to his every whim.

Your own hips moved with a mind of their own, meeting his thrusts halfway, taking his cock down to the hilt.

Having to look into his eyes each time you clench down on him, sadistic eyes filled with delight at witnessing you wallow in shame.

Much to your horror–and embarrassment mostly–an orgasm was fast approaching, your body sensitivity increased ten folds. Squirming underneath him, mindlessly sucking on his finger as your insides warmed his cock.

Pleasure invading all of your senses, clenching every muscle on your body as you lower half spasmed, thighs shaking with the mess you were making. Staining the sheets below, a white fog clouding your brain from the sheer euphoria, unbridled pleasure only made bittersweet by the fact it was received through the most slow and simple sex you've ever heard.

"You don't deserve effort, that's why. Look at how easily you crumbled. Even in bed, you can't hold your own."

He didn't finish, of course he didn't finish, hard cock pulling out with a pop. Your stomach churns at the realisation you will miss out on his cum—that thought is so abrupt and jarring. Is it even your own? You'd never-

"Yes, it is." The director confirms your fears, "I've done very little besides ease your body. Everything else, every single thing so far, has been purely you."

His thumb finally grants you mercy and retreats from your mouth, a thin line of saliva connecting it to your lips before it falls apart.

"I believe in allowing actors their creative liberties." he elaborated more.

With that as his signal to leave, dissipate into thin air like a mirage. Leaving you questioning the very fabric of reality, if this all was a fever dream.

Yet your skin feels as normal as ever, your forehead isn't burning and—oh, he took your fever with him, in a sick twist of fate.

You're not granted the mercy of plausible deniability.

-

In the following week, Mr. Immortell became a frequent visitor. A constant in your life that's inconsistent with his timing as he tends to materialise out of seemingly nothing whenever the whim strikes.

Others can't see him, you found out. It didn't help the feeling of embarrassment as you attempted to keep a straight face while he littered your neck with bites and kisses, sucking against the tender spots, shamelessly whispering filth into your ears.

You also found out that your role wasn't as insignificant as he made it seem. A lot of rather crucial scenes demanded your presence, infected or not.

Each one of them was an opportunity for this devil to test your limits. To have you endure your punishment, hands travelling under your clothes, groping your intimate areas as you attempted to keep a civil conversation with the other actors.

Dutifully delivering your rehearsed lines as his fingers were knuckles deep inside you, going in and out, setting a cruel pace. It took all of your willpower to not stutter through every word, to suppress your moans in-between sentences, to not cum in a room filled with people watching your every move.

Each test you passed was only setting new standards for the upcoming one, expectations rising as he pushed and pushed. Extending the line beyond the snapping point and wearing it thin.

You were bent over furniture, made to take him anywhere and anytime.

Cornered against walls in alleyways, ordered on your knees as he filled your mouth with his cock.

Despising the way it tasted better than any dessert you've ever had, how expertly he trained your throat to take all of him without a fuss.

The promise of his cum had you chasing after its taste, eagerly licking stripes along the underside, peppering the head with kisses. Stuffing your mouth full of his cock, looking up to meet his gaze through your clumped together eyelashes and wet eyes.

He got off to your suffering, there was no doubt in that. The way his tail would swish around, pushing his cock deeper each time, watching you continue to please him even as he cut off your air circulation.

By the time he was anywhere close to finishing, your knees were bruised from staying on the ground for so long. The heat between your legs aching and left neglected for what seemed like hours.

Your reward finally arrived in the form of hot cum pouring down your throat, not letting you waste a drop as you struggle to swallow it all.

Did it have magical properties? It must have from the way its mere taste was enough to ease all the discomfort away from your body. Sending an electric pleasure through your core, seeping like honey into your brain, rewiring it whole.

Forcing a climax out of you, cumming whilst fully clothed, untouched, and with a mouthful of cock, on your knees.

Not that this was out of the ordinary, ever since your punishment started you've lost count of the amount of times you were made to cum, the euphoric release growing more intense each time. Threatening to melt your brain, make you lose your mind for good this time around.

The addicting pleasure, tantalising you with its promises, leaving you with a most cruel withdrawal in its aftermath.

Acting has become a second nature, your role a second skin, your character persona intertwining within your own. The script is your bible. The stage is your home.

Was he proud? Was he satisfied? It was hard to tell.

It was impossible to surpass his expectations; his standards are as high as the hanged constellations above.

But you desperately seeked his approval, eagerly obeyed every word, poured your heart into ever scene, surrendered your body to him during the breaks.

A demon's appetite was bottomless, a neversated desire to milk every possible reaction out of you. Get on your nerves enough times to fry them, either he ends up with an obedient devoted doll that adheres to his every word, or you finally prove yourself to be the gem amidst the mud he's been searching for.

At least he kept your symptoms at bay, even as the daily delivery of antibiotics stopped as the healers' rations ran dry, nearing the end of the story.

Stalling the sickness, a constant game of tug as it would increase in severity only for the taste of his lips to put the monster back to sleep.

He could make it vanish with a snap of his finger; this whole world is a mere product of his creation, fluid reality he swirls around with the sharp tip of his claw.

It was maintained on purpose, a part of your punishment. Akin to a collar around your neck, tightening with each day, reminding you of your past misdeeds, never allowing you the luxury of forgetting.

-

On the thirteenth day, you wake up to the sound of cannons firing off. Far in the distance, humanity's greatest achievement comes crashing down, bested by gunpowder and one little spark.

The miracle tower is no more. The church's bells ringing echoes through the vacant town. Devoid of kids, one half of the population slept in their homes with the doors locked tight, the other half cradled in graves. A barren, rotten womb.

The stage lights are set, and everyone takes their place, ready for the finale.

It doesn't go smoothly, the director is nowhere to be found. Roles are mixed up, and scripts are lost. People forget their lines. One of the healers' actors got into a fist fight with their replacement.

Despite the chaos, the show must go on. Everyone powers through it, improvising on the spot, aiding each other, and sharing responsibilities. Lights operators come down to help set designers with touch-ups, wardrobe crew filling in for the stage crew.

You're given a lightly used bottle of ketchup—they ran out of fake blood, someone mistook it for bagged tomato soup and moved it to the freezer, it was a whole incident—and told to go help set the visuals on the third letter courier before the Haruspex reaches him.

By sheer will, determination, and sweeping any mistakes under the proverbial carpet—the canons which went off way too early before their due time, causing a great shortage in staff as half of them were forced to abandon their duties and go help put together the polyhedron prop piece by piece—The day is finally finished, the last line has been said, the fate of the town was decided.

And the director is still nowhere in sight.

...

..

.

It was eerily quiet without him, the unnerving lack of his now familiar presence. The plague has long left the town alongside your body, so why did the air feel so thick and slimy?

Did you pass the test?

Was he finally proud of you?

Were you going to see him again?

That obnoxious smirk haunted your mind, that irritating voice that easily found its way under your skin no matter the occasion.

Those horns you held onto each time he lifted you against the wall.

Your hips wrapped around him as his wings engulfed you in a bubble of safety, offering you the slimmest of privacy as they narrowed your view to him only, condensing your world down to just the two of you.

The epilogue starts. You're not part of it. None of the npcs are. You watch from behind the curtains.

Fear churns in your stomach as the scenes come and go and there is still not a single hint of the director in sight.

The theatre scene is nearing...

He couldn't have abandoned his cast–abandoned you...could he?

"Of course not."

A voice—not the Tragedians'; deeper in pitch, clear, mocking—came from next to you.

You anticipate a hand around your waist, a pat on your shoulder, a tap on your head, a grip on your throat, even a kiss, anything at all!

What you do not anticipate, however, was the tender hug you're pulled into.

He doesn't need to say it–you've done well–his smile is telling enough already. A very subtle change you've learned to pick up on.

You proved yourself.

“That you have. Now tell me, who are you?”

You're transferred back to the casting stage, the tryouts trial as he asked you the very same question.

You gave your name, he wasn't satisfied.

You claimed your character's, he reminded you the role is nameless.

“You must have figured out the answer by now.” his voice taunting, two fingers gripping your chin, directing your face towards him.

“Who are you?”

He repeats.

You'll be anything he wants you to, you realise, you're ready to take on any role no matter how difficult, to memorise a million scripts, to become as fluid as water adjusting to the shape of any container it's placed within.

“And what does that make you?”

His. It makes you his.

There is no collar around your neck, no contract holding you back. You're as free as a bird, so why do you still find yourself eager to eat from his hand?

But you don't get to entertain these thoughts much before his lips meet yours, melting your brain with each swirl of his tongue, reminding you of the pliant, obedient role you must play by his side.

[cypherthesilliest]

Having been tagged by a fellow vampire lover, here poses the question:

If all my characters had to fight eachother, which one would win?

Here’s the post I was tagged in from a Vampire lover

OC FIGHT CLUB

Right off the bat let’s start with Chomp. I feel like Chomp would want to jump into a fight, hesitate, and then Verdima would shove into them (with anger intent.) then the both of them would fight. Chomp doesn’t know why, but it’s kinda fun learning out to swing and CHOMP!

Next, Tem. Poor kid would fall into a pile of bones, far away but not out of the field. (I’m supposing it’s a large ass battle field they are fighting on??) He would kinda watch from afar, afraid, and not be suspected because oh! Pile of bones? Not sus at all! Second up,

Nebula. She wouldn’t want to fight, not at all. Fighting isn’t her nature. But when she sees the Vampire and the person with a mouth for a Head fighting, she kinda goes into referee mode and makes sure none of them get ‘dusted’. (Verdima and Chomp don’t know what that means, but they assume it means killed.) Because it’s a fight club, we have to have a referee! Although, Nebula is not refereeing that large ass fight between the three who are making the literal ground shake.

Now, Verdima! immediately she sees another.. thing.. with sharp teeth and wants to fight it (?) She’s the sharp teeth victor! This.. thing is just some poser! HURAAAAHHH OW FRICK IT BIT MY ARM- Halfway through the fight this tall shadow lady started bugging us about not.. dusting? Is that like some teenage slang term they use nowadays? She says she’s ‘going to referee this’ well, alright.

Golnar. Now, Golnar is in an extremely complicated, complex, and STUPID. FIGHT. Between the masked one, and the tall furry. But she herself is also an animal.. would that make her a furry? No time to question- she has to move now before she gets that hammer slammed down on her, but there is FUCKING MARBLES ALL OVER THE FLOOR. She’s a Hunter, a fighter, and badass so I would say she could easily rip out the spine of plenty beasts! If only the beasts weren’t a neon roller skater with the intent to put glitter in her hair, and a 10’2 purple demon furry thing with an oversized hammer!

Anomaly. They are having FUNNN. First of all, Golnars there! Yay! One of the enemies of one of their alternates! And second there’s an old.. project, of Cy’s in here, and He actually meets Anomaly’s expectations! As well as their power levels! Eventually Golnar will get knocked out, leaving Anomaly and.. what’s his name? Delta? To fight. This will be legendary!!!

Delta. “STUPID GREEN FLY GGRRAGGRRAA” .. yeah he’s not having the time of his life, anomaly keeps cramming googly eyes into his wires then disappearing at the speed of sound and then coming back just as fast to “bonk” at his ankles, which is just them crashing their metal bat into his feet. None of them can get a real hit on eachother. This battle will be agony!!!

In the end, Tem will win. Anomaly will get bored and leave once Delta is in pieces on the ground,crying because he got destroyed/defeated. Chomp and Verdima will exit, tired and with several bite marks on their arms and legs that are bleeding, Nebula will refuse to fight. Leaving Tem! The 7 year old kid who blended into the background!! HUZZZAHHHHHHH

I’m tagging @gyxtar0luvs and @caretaleandotherstuff because I’m curious! Yeah 👍 it’s an open tag btw!

[deadshotdaiquiris]

i love ultimis richtofen so much but i have to subject him to all the violence in the world because he sucks. he sucks so bad and that is both why he's one of my favorites and why i have to bonk him over the head with a big cartoon hammer