#born sexy yesterday

[t4tdexter]

i’ve made and drafted 3 separate posts abt it bc i was talking about it too much but i will break my silence now bc i think i can be concise. supernatural. 2 nonhuman characters were born and aged unnaturally quickly and became, functionally, adults. one of them was given sexual tension with an adult male character and it physically payed off as soon as she had a passably adult body. the other one sparked a controversy over wether he should be allowed to drink a beer with parental supervision. guess which of the two mentioned characters was a woman

[celestial-depths]

Poor Things and Born Sexy Yesterday

(spoilers for Poor Things)

I stumbled on a discussion on whether Bella Baxter from the movie Poor Things (2023) is a representation of the Born Sexy Yesterday trope coined by video essayist Pop Culture Detective, who defines it as a mostly fantasy and sci-fi adjacent trope of a regular human man falling in love with a beautiful, otherworldly woman who, through some plot quirk or another, has no knowledge of social norms and no sexual or romantic past. Even though he is brutally average, he is able to win her love simply because he is the first (human) man she connects with and thus everything that's basic about him is impressive to her. Some examples of the trope given by Pop Culture Detective in his video essay are Leeloo from Fifth Element (the physically grown yet mentally child-like alien creature who falls in love with a taxi driver in a wifebeater) and Madison from Splash (a clothes-aversive mermaid who thinks that Tom Hanks is the most enchanting man in the world). I love Pop Culture Detective's work, and the Born Sexy Yesterday video essay was a cultural reset in my personal history. I saw the video when it premiered six years ago, but it has never fully left my mind, so of course I immediately thought of it when I saw Poor Things a couple of weeks ago. The movie certainly touches on the same themes that the Born Sexy Yesterday is made of. However, I think that the movie is an intentional subversion and a satire of the trope rather than a sincere execution of it.

The main character of the movie Bella Baxter starts out as a grotesquely literal version of the trope, as she is literally a newborn in the shape of a conventionally attractive woman who is being actively shielded from the influence of the outside world. She has the brain of a baby salvaged from the fresh corpse of a deceased pregnant woman, planted inside the skull of the reanimated body of the aforementioned woman as an experiment done by the unorthodox doctor Godwin Baxter. He keeps her locked inside his house and controls every aspect of her life, so when he invites the young doctor Max McCandles to join his research, McCandles is served what is essentially the perfect Born Sexy Yesterday experience: an exclusive access to a beautiful and naive young woman who is in a prime position of being groomed into whatever her keepers wish her to become.

Or so they would think.

A sincere Born Sexy Yesterday would be fully fascinated by this power dynamic and probably leave her here to be romanced by McCandles for the rest of the film. The audience would be expected to assume McCandles's perspective and indulge in the fantasy of falling in love with the untainted woman who has neither the life experience nor the critical thinking skills needed to question him.

But, fortunately, the movie doesn't remain here. After the first act, the movie switches its point of view from McCandles to Bella and starts putting her experiences to the forefront. She starts developing interests that absolutely do not align with the wants and needs of the men around her, and she begins to learn things that clash with the essence of the Born Sexy Yesterday trope. Soon, she has grown into a headstrong, independent, sexually experienced, intellectually curious woman who had zero interest in entertaining the whims of men and who intends to live fully for herself and herself alone: an absolute antithesis of the clueless and subservient blank slate the trope would require her to be. My reading of the film is that it's an intentional satire and an autopsy of the BSY trope and the gender politics that gave birth to it. It criticizes the men who entertain fantasies like it by making them look like absolute losers, urging us to ponder on what the hell is wrong with these creeps who see nothing wrong with drooling over a woman who is mentally a toddler instead of their intellectual equal.

The movie also reads as a critique of how women are socialized into a patriarchy. Godwin treats Bella just like a possession of his. Her body and her life are completely under his control from the moment she is "born" (another act in which neither Bella nor the woman she was born from had any say in), which isn't dissimilar to how a lot of fathers view their daughters. He wishes to keep her under constant supervision until the end of her life, until she protests and gets him to change his mind. When he asks McCandles to marry her, the two men treat the proposed marriage as a contract between the two of them rather than as a contract between McCandles and Bella herself. Again, this isn't too different to what marriage between men and women has meant throughout history.

McCandles is romantically interested in Bella even though he is fully aware of the fact that she is mentally a child. He seems to be looking forward to starting a sexual relationship with her after they are wed, as if the seal of marriage would make the intellectual disparity between them any less iffy. This bears resemblance to the way men in the real world prey on young girls with little to no sexual experience and whose brains are not fully developed because they're easier to control than grown women. I don't think that McCandles's hypocrisy is lost on the film. He agrees to marry Bella almost in the same breath as expressing his desire to keep her safe from other men, as if his desire to bed a person who is intellectually at the level of a five-year-old was any better than theirs.

When Bella chooses to leave Godwin's house to explore the world, the two men immediately replace her with a new experiment, showing that they were never truly interested in her as a person. They wanted the eternal baby, the thing that they can cage and control, and not the person who can think and learn and disagree with them. This exemplifies how disposable women are when they no longer serve their limited purpose in a patriarchy, and how replaceable people are when they are primarily viewed as bodies to be used. (Sidenote: I do think that Godwin and McCandles eventually learn to appreciate Bella for the person she is and that they both grow to be better people by the end of the film, but I still attest that these two are total creeps at least by this point of the movie.)

And then there's the supreme loser of the movie: the sleazy lawyer Wedderburn, who slithers into Bella's life and convinces her to run away with him. He is the darkest example of the kind of person who is drawn to inexperienced women like the ones represented in BSY movies - a predator who finds pleasure in the prospect of getting to corrupt and consume an innocent. He intends to take advantage of Bella and abandon her once he's gotten his fill only to find himself choking on his prey, who turns out not to be the malleable, naive creature he thought her to be.

This is the point where I think the movie goes from simply critiquing the BSY trope and everything it represents to successfully subverting it. The characters who embody the BSY trope don't really evolve. The movies they appear in are not really interested in their inner worlds and individual experiences beyond whatever serves the interests of the male protagonists. These characters are projections of male fantasies, so there really isn't a way for them to exist without centering men. This is not the case with Bella, who quickly grows into her own woman who is only tangentially interested in the men around her.

The bright side of Bella's condition is that she isn't just unaware of the ways of the world, but that she's also unaffected by the years of patriarchal conditioning that most normal women are burdened with. She literally has no shame, no internalized misogyny, no history of crushing blows to her sense of self-worth, and no looming knowledge of societal norms society. She has skipped the part in life where she is constantly bombarded with demands to make herself smaller and more palatable, to hate herself, to think of her body and the way it finds pleasure as something disgusting and abnormal, to treat other women as competition, and to think of herself as so much less important than men that she must pursue their validation beyond all else. Because of this blessed defect, she is free in a very rare way.

Wedderburn absolutely cannot handle that. When Bella first gets to know him, he paints a flattering picture of himself as a proud social deviant who gleefully eschews the rules of polite society. However, when faced with the actually deviant Bella, who flatly refuses to obey and center him, Wedderburn is revealed to be a phony. He is not a genuine libertine. He does not want to live in a truly free world with a free spirit like Bella, because he is a pathetic, insecure little man who only likes women in scenarios where the power balance is stacked against them. In my opinion, this is a direct shot fired at the BSY trope and its average enjoyers: if your ideal woman is someone who is many steps behind you in terms of mental capacity and experience, you are quite pitiful and would not stand a chance in an equal playing field.

It's hilarious how Wedderburn loses his mind when Bella starts exhibiting the kind of behavior he himself has proudly displayed earlier in the film: having multiple sexual partners, keeping sex and feelings separate, not falling in love with him or treating him like he's special, dropping him once she's had enough of him, and generally living life in an unconventional way. Again, the movie is pointing out the hypocrisy in men who fetishize inexperienced women while bragging about their own sexual conquests.

The part in the movie where Bella becomes a sex worker delivers the final blow to whatever is left of the BSY trope in her story, because the trope relies on sexual exclusivity and the fetishization of virginity. By having many partners and gaining lots of sexual experience out of her own free will, Bella stops fitting the ideal of the untouched woman who can be deflowered and exclusively possessed by the male protagonist. Also, through the conversations between Bella and the other sex workers, the movie finds another way to address the politics behind certain men's sexual fantasies of women - such as pointing out that some men enjoy sex with women more the less the women themselves enjoy it. It's a stray observation that the movie doesn't get deep into, but it has its place in the tapestry of the general theme of what desire reveals about people.

Finally, there's Alfie, who gives Bella (and us) an idea of the kind of life Bella's "mother" lived - as well as the kind of life Bella herself might be living had she grown up the normal way. It seems hellish. She'd be living under the tyranny of her awful husband, under a constant threat of violence, under absolute bodily control. Alfie wants to impregnate her against her will and to mutilate her genitals to deprive her of pleasure, and there's nothing that she could do about it because he is her husband and thus legally allowed to lord over her. She sees a terrifying glimpse of the role even privileged women like her have in this world: objects who exist solely for the pleasure of the men who own them. I would venture to say that the same description lies in the underbelly of the BSY trope.

I am happy that the movie doesn't take its sweet time to revel in the horror of this part of the story like so many other movies that address the oppression of women do. Instead, Bella stays with Alfie just enough time to say a hard and a well-informed no to his bullshit before getting on her merry way.

I think Poor Things is such a great example of taking a trope and exploring its implications in a way that goes beyond just pointing it out or parodying it by simply repeating it.

[ninaemsaopaulo]

Pobres criaturas

Um brinde aos desajustados, inadequados e esquisitos: pois agora chegou a nossa vez.

Em Pobres criaturas, Bella Baxter morreu Victoria — jovem, grávida e infeliz. Victoria se jogou de uma ponte e teve seu corpo resgatado pelo Dr. Godwin Baxter, um cientista maluco e professor universitário que, na Inglaterra da Era Vitoriana, se dispõe a fazer experimentos como animais híbridos e trazer de volta à vida uma mulher adulta com o cérebro de seu filho prematuro. “God”, literalmente.

Nossa Frankenstein, no início de sua jornada, mal sabe falar, tampouco ficar de pé. Ela é uma criança no corpo de uma mulher e toda vez que acorda amadurece mais. Dando rápidos saltos com sua inteligência moldada e percepção do que lhe cerca, Bella sonha em conhecer o mundo ou, no máximo, ir lá fora conhecer Londres, a cidade, tomar sorvete ao lado das crianças. Mas Godwin não pretende exibi-la. Contratou Max como assistente para observar sua evolução, mas sugere que ambos se casem e vivam confinados com ele. Mas, ao contatar Duncan, um advogado canastrão que deve realizar o contrato de casamento, Godwin perde Bella para um sedutor canalha que viaja com ela pelo mundo. Então, Pobres criaturas é dividido por capítulos que são as cidades que Bella visita: Lisboa, Paris, Alexandria e Londres novamente. Nessa ordem.

Lanthimos gosta de fazer filmes que causam desconforto por meio da comédia, sendo essa sua marca registrada, como se tudo fosse um experimento social tendo o absurdo ou o impossível como instrumento. E esse estranhamento vai abraçar quem assiste, mas não é difícil que você se sinta transportado para o universo que contempla Bella. O deslumbre de Pobres criaturas, para além do roteiro de diálogos irresistíveis, está nos detalhes e no trabalho em equipe.

Para começar, a trilha sonora de Jerskin Fendrix é um acontecimento: em alguns momentos, parece feita para a geração TikTok, com músicas que podem ainda viralizar por lá. Se o filme começa com Bella maltratando um piano, a trilha trata o instrumento como brinquedo, sem desrespeitá-lo. Vozes infantis e quase assustadoras ilustram o renascimento de Bella. E a música que recebe o nome da protagonista, abrindo a trilha sonora, começa melancólica e termina esperançosa, cheia de alegria — igualzinha a ela (morrendo, renascendo, descobrindo, experimentando).

Holly Waddington, figurinista, trouxe para Bella inspirações vitorianas numa repaginada mais fluida em camisas de mangas bufantes e muito babado na parte superior do corpo, economizando na inferior. O motivo? Bella é uma criança no corpo de uma adulta, ela aprende ao longo do filme a diferença entre certo e errado. Para exemplificar isso, Holly escolheu o simples do shorts e o complicado e difícil de tirar das blusas e camisas mais típicas da Era Vitoriana. Na medida em que Bella amadurece, suas roupas também mudam. Quando chega em Paris e a neve cai, seu casaco lembra um preservativo masculino. Bella usa comprimento mini e transparências em roupas que vão do infantilizada ao s3.xu.4lizada, acompanhando a narrativa — trato disso mais adiante.

Os cenários de Pobres criaturas estão repletos de detalhes oníricos: da sala de jantar de Godwin até a Lisboa retro-futurista, o céu do fim de tarde de Bella no navio tem as cores da aquarela de um comercial antigo da Faber-Castell. Quanto mais você olha, mais existe para ver, sendo o tipo de filme feito propositadamente para ser revisitado. O início em preto-e-branco vai mostrar o ponto de vista ou pelo menos a defesa de Godwin — interpretado por Willem Dafoe, que já não é um homem bonito, o trabalho de maquiagem feito em seu personagem reforça as consequências dos experimentos que sofreu na infância, quando refém de seu pai, também cientista. Aqui, assume a paternidade de Bella, escondendo dela sua origem e limitando seu crescimento. Trata Bella, no início, como puro experimento científico. Quando o filme ganha cores, porque cores são o símbolo da vida, Bella torna-se para Godwin a lembrança de uma filha que não está mais ao seu alcance, em seu controle.

Emma Stone também se distancia enquanto viaja o mundo sendo Bella. Se distancia da caricatura que sua personagem poderia ser. A ingenuidade da pouca experiência é atravessada pela sede de viver, ela quer desbravar o mundo, ser exploradora mesmo quando torna-se explorada. Essa personagem vai figurar como uma das mais perigosas em sua carreira e no cinema como um todo. É o exemplo mais recente da “born sexy yesterday”, só que num tempo em que estamos acostumados a perceber e nomear essas personagens criadas por homens e feitas para satisfazê-los. É aqui que a crítica feminista aparece e onde talvez Pobres criaturas cometa deslizes. Embora seja maravilhoso quando um diretor encontra sua musa e o casamento entre Emma Stone e Yorgos Lanthimos funcione há algum tempo, não deixam de ser polêmicas as cenas de s3.x0 em Pobres criaturas. Inspirado no livro de Allistair Grey (ainda sem tradução no Brasil), essa é a trajetória de uma mulher que descobre seu amor pela vida e nada é mais representativo disso do que s3.x0. Mas, repetindo: também é uma história toda contada por homens, sobre uma mulher sendo moldada e podada por homens. É impossível não discutir Emma Stone fazendo uma criança no corpo de uma adulta que descobre, em um dado momento da narrativa, que a prostituição é um caminho. Se Pobres criaturas tivesse sido dirigido por uma mulher, qual seria a abordagem? Seria melhor, seria mesmo?

Duncan, Max e Alfred são os outros homens da vida de Bella. Os que aparecem depois de Godwin. Minha amiga Rita Alves definiu muito bem Mark Ruffalo como Duncan quando disse que ele “é um homem de autoestima delirante”, como quase todos os homens. Duncan é o típico homem que gosta de tirar vantagens e contar suas vantagens. Apresenta-se para Bella como alguém desapegado que “pega geral”, para depois revelar-se apaixonado apenas por não saber contê-la. Quer Bella só para si, mas o ciúme é vaidade e só confirma sua personalidade patética e digna de pena. Max (Ramy Youssef), assistente de Godwin e observador-protetor de Bella, apaixona-se de fato, mas “permite” que Bella vá e veja o mundo, viva suas aventuras, sendo o mais progressista entre os homens que ela conhece. E Alfred (Christopher Abbott) é quem, um dia, tornou a vida de Bella pesada, insuportável. O verdadeiro algoz, Alfred surge já nos momentos finais do filme trazendo as respostas que Bella precisa enfrentar sobre sua vida anterior, seu passado como Victoria e o que a levou para aquela ponte. Aqui é onde o filme se estende para além do necessário, como um epílogo. Mas compreendo a necessidade de respostas.

Um dos pontos altos de Pobres criaturas está na dança entre Bella e Duncan em Lisboa: desordenada, caótica e de passos inéditos, em que Bella conduz enquanto Duncan ainda se comporta como esse homem “da sociedade polida”. Minha outra cena favorita também acontece em Lisboa. Só que, mais do que favorita, essa é a cena que vale o filme, que permanecerá em minha memória por muitos anos — quando Bella decide conhecer Lisboa sozinha, e encontra a cantora Carminho cantando o fado “O quarto”. Eu fico feliz com Carminho alcançando novos públicos, mas também com Bella criando suas memórias afetivas, um momento que é só dela.

Bella conhece regras, quebras de protocolo, s3.x0, paisagens, pastel de Belém, bebida alcóolica, a primeira ressaca, pobreza extrema, tristeza, trabalho, política, vontade de mudar o mundo, a maldade dos homens e até o amor com outra mulher para, enfim, decidir quem ela quer ser quando crescer e saber a hora de voltar. São mil vidas em uma, no debate das entrelinhas e do humorístico sobre a ausência de ética científica, até o agradecimento de Bella para Godwin, que lhe trouxe de volta à vida, na qual ela teve uma nova oportunidade de se gostar. Talvez seja essa a alegoria de Pobres criaturas: a ideia de se conhecer, se perdoar e se permitir.

[mtonino]

Oggi lunedì cinema si occupa di un cliché che nel film Poor Things viene ribaltato: BornSexyYesterday per cui creature femminili, dalla mente ingenua in un corpo sessualizzato, sono pronte a essere educate dall'eroe maschio di turno. Spiegato meglio qui

RadioQuar ore 20.00

[tachvintlogic]

Artificially created human/android questioning why their creator gave them the gender that they did, and what that says about their creator's view of gender in society.

Artificially created human/android questioning why their creator was so gung ho about them having a fully formed adult body right out of the incubator instead of letting them grow into it like most people.

Born Sexy Yesterday character lamenting they never had an opportunity to have a childhood because when people look at them, they see an adult in their mid 20s, not a 14-month old.

Born Sexy Yesterday character desperately trying to figure out who are their peers really? They're too immature for adults their physical age, but their language skills are too advanced for children their actual age. They've passed too many development milestones in some areas and too few in others.

Born Sexy Yesterday character wishing they had a baby's body so they would be treated like one.

Born Sexy Yesterday character counting down the days until they're actually 18 because maybe things will make sense when they finally feel like a real adult.

[leebrontide]

I love that Nona could have been a "Born Sexy Yesterday" trope and just flat out is not. She's only a few months old. She says herself that she's beautiful. The face and body she's inhabiting have amassed a lesbian haram of 3 of the empire's most important disasters even when it was being piloted by an incredibly unsociable gremlin of a girl.

And yet, she almost universally inspires reactions of protectiveness. People look at her and go I don't care how old you say you are you are a child. The narrative goes out of it's way to desexualize her, despite her rampant crushes. She is a worm with problems. She is a dot. She is messily disintegrating. She is pitied by children who nonetheless love her.

She's given the dignity of innocence, when she would have been the most sexualized character in another authors hands. And in doing that we get a much more nuanced and interesting take on what her experience is actually like, from her own point of view. I love it.

[commander-diomika]

'Poor Things' was a good film that finally asked the burning question "what if Frankenstein was a hot lady socialist who wanted to fuck all the time."

[teslacoils-and-hubris]

Frankenstein's monster is an 8ft tall guy made of corpse parts who murders people (including children), demands his creator make him a wife, and literally travels to the ends of the earth to enact vengeance against his creator. I don't think there's any part of the narrative that wants you to think he's a literal child, even with the obvious parental allegory between him and Victor. He's even bilingual

[wandixx]

Ghost of fries and hero of cookies part 5

All work words count: 14 643

Words in this part: 1 685

Summary of whole work: Duke wasn't expecting to wake up from his quick rooftop nap to some meta kid with fries. He also wasn't expecting kid to stay

Or

Danny asked Dani to stay safe while she was in Gotham. Where would she be safer than under the wing of local hero? And he looked like he needed bad day combo anyway

This part summary: Steph finally gets to meet Duke's kid. And she comes bearing gifts!

Beta read by @audhumla-sailor though English is second language for both of us, so proceed with this in mind. I also know all of the charaters through fics alone, so probably ooc. Stay catious if it's something you don't like

First part, Previous part

Duke was really glad that Bruce was busy whole previous evening and couldn’t give him The TalkTM Vigilante edition. Maybe he shouldn’t because B being busy spoke trouble but he couldn’t feel too sad about it. He didn’t want to have The TalkTM though.

For now, Dani was running next to him, with a serious look on her face that was kinda uncanny. She wasn’t supposed to not be happy and some weird instincts were screaming at him to fix it and fix it now. But he didn’t know how!

Though some of his jokes caused a little smile, so it was good.

It turned potentially less good when she stopped without warning, lowering herself to the fighting stance (finally proper, which made him so immensely proud by the way). He stopped too, wishing they wouldn’t have to fight but he knew better than to latch on this hope.

“What’s up, Hoopoe?” he whispered.

“Someone is coming. Light, use grapple” Most likely one of the Bats then, they were due to a visit anyway. However better to not lower his guard in case he was mistaken or it was a prank/test. His expectations were proven right though, when purple blur flipped over the edge of the roof. He relaxed and put hand on Dani’s shoulder so she wouldn’t tackle Steph before they could explain anything. She seemed on edge like that whole day.

“Hey Spoiler” he greeted to further show that the blonde was a friend.

“Sup Signal! Heard I can finally meet your little friend!”

Dani straightened herself and tried to float a few inches up to seem higher probably.

“I’m considerably higher than most kids my age” she deadpanned. She really wasn’t though. He was still trying to learn whether her size was caused more by genetics or malnourishment. Her only family member Duke knew of was also small, so maybe it was a family thing though.

Steph shrugged, waving her palm a few inches below her shoulder, approximately where Damian reached, quite few inches over Dani’s head.

“Robin is the family’s smol violent bean and you’re shorter than him. You’re small bean, deal with this”

Little girl pouted, crossing her arms. Steph cooed.

“Oh, you even get angry like he does!”

Young meta looked like she was asking ‘Should I use violence?’ and inch towards the answer ‘Yes’. Duke decided he should step in before she acted on these thoughts. Teasing was the opposite of what girl needed at the moment. Some good fight might not be bad but maybe not with Steph.

“Cut it Spoiler”

She rolled her eyes so dramatically he could tell she did so despite her mask. He still thought it was impressive “Don’t be boring dude”

Dani growled in a way that couldn’t be fully human, just like she did when they talked about her training for the first time. Duke squeezed her arm. Girl glanced at him before sagging so much he was scared she would fall for a hot second. He exchanged concerned looks with Steph over her lowered head. It was not normal nor was it good.

“Alright, you’re not smol,” Steph agreed lightly “Officially at least. What’s in my head stays there. Does it work for you?”

Duke almost hit her in the arm. Not strongly, in a friendly manner but still. He didn’t only because it seemed to somehow work. He let his hands drop.

“Your mind is sacred,” Dani started seriously “what leaves your mouth is not. Can’t diss you on your thoughts but I’ll on your words” she shared like it was some important truth of life. Or folklore proverb though Duke wasn’t sure about the latter. Afterall he was Gothamite born and breed, he knew countryside from movies “And actions. Actions are kinda important,” meta girl added in lighter tone after moment of thinking.

“Yeah, actions are the best” Steph agreed easily “Hey, can I get it on a T-shirt? I’ll love and cherish it”

“First you laugh at my height and then you want my intellectual property for free? For shame, Spoiler, for shame?”

Steph looked thoughtful, theatrically over exaggerating her body language. 

“Valid” she nodded.

Duke decided he would just watch whatever was going to happen and did damage control if needed. He didn’t feel up to anything else anyway.

“Heard your cape went in an adventure,” the purple vigilante admitted after moment of silence. Dani shrugged rubbing her arms awkwardly. Duke knew she normally would fix said cape. It was her way of fidgeting.

“Yup, it’s good way to put it,” girl nodded. “Somebody needed it more, I hope it enjoys its travel. I should get a replacement soon”

“Well, I can’t let fellow caped crusader, who understands necessity of hood, run capeless”

Younger girl waved her hands in a flurry motion of dismissal.

“Don’t-” she stopped when her eyes locked on orange bundle Steph took from somewhere under her cloak. Opportunity to pull tricks like that had made Duke consider adding some sort of cape to his Signal suit back when he had been working on it back in a day but dismissed it. He still wasn’t looking forward to learning curve of fighting with such additional liability. He couldn’t turn it intangible when it was in a way like certain white haired cheater did.

Speaking of Dani, girl stared at Steph’s gift like she couldn’t quite believe it was real. She held her hands close to her chest but her fingers flexed in grabby motion. Her eyes were hidden behind black lenses of her mask but everything else about her face further proved how awestruck she was. Even her muted aura brightened a bit in a way that he learned to recognize as excitement.

It was still kind of weird, by the way. Normal auras haven’t changed, it was kinda their thing.

Steph wiggled her gift a bit. Dani finally took it but had yet to put it on.

“It’s for me?” she whispered so utterly shocked and small that Duke mentally did a double take.

“Yeah, like I said, can’t let you run around without it”

“Oh”

Dani’s hand was gnawing at the edge of the material as if it was some sort of squashmellow.

“Try it on,” Steph encouraged gently.

“We need to check if Spoiler haven’t messed up something”

“Signal!”

Dani snorted, which was all Duke tried to achieve.

She put it on and after a moment of shuffling she once again became orange cloak with feet. She grinned widely looking far more relaxed and settled than she did moments before. She moved around a bit like she was in model show or at least what ten years old thought it could look like.

“You like it?”

“Yup, it’s amazing, thank you Spoiler… Though it’s heavier than I expected”

“Well, I don’t know what your first one was made out of but this is material I use, I found it the best balance between durability, weight and comfiness. Still, it’s quite dense and a bit heavy. Also, I added pockets because you can never have too many of them. Plus there are few glitter bombs inside. You know, ‘welcome to the team’ gifts,” Steph explained eagerly and judging by Dani’s smile, she loved her gifts. Duke would be a little worried on a Gotham crime’s behalf if it wasn’t well, crime and if he wasn’t all there to watch chaos these two would unfold from sidelines with bat-popcorn in hand (though it wasn’t really a thing yet, he would have to mention it to Tim or Jason). For now though, they really should continue on the patrol.

“Now that introductions are over, let’s get going. Crime never sleeps or something,” It was really weird to be the organized one. Before Dani showed up, on a day shift he was a sailor, a captain and a ship (or maybe Gotham was a ship-), We Are Robins days were chaos in purest form and shape and when he was called out for a night he usually was too tired to behave and was just additional mess to organize (on purpose, let him have his goddamn sleep, he wasn’t Tim).

“Okay,” Dani agreed cheerfully “There is a robbery at the greek diner we visited last Thursday. ‘s been going for five minutes or so,” she added unbothered.

“HOOPOE!”

“What?”

***

Spoiler jumped through the open window of the diner with a graceful roll, glitter bombs at hand. Hoopoe and Signal came inside right after her.

“Spoiler alert!” purple girl yelled, throwing two bombs at robbers heads and kicking third one in the ribs.

Dani decided  that she liked Spoiler right then and there as she threw her own brand new, orange(!) glitter bombs at remaining criminal.

***

Three of them were running through the city mostly uninterrupted after diner mishap. Steph tried to engage Dani in quip battle but younger girl for once wasn’t jumping on occasion. She kept close to Duke and his only reaction was smug smile in Spoiler’s direction. That’s what she got for trying to steal his sidekick.

“Oh!” Dani exclaimed delighted, stopping abruptly, a smile that spoke trouble gracing her face.

“No, we’re not busting Joker’s scheme by jumping into the meeting to beat them all up without proper back up, again, Hoopoe. They had guns, Hoopoe.”

“Wha- Wasn’t last time enough? Anyway, I heard there is fan meeting with Martian Manhunter in Los Angeles tomorrow,” Great, so no giving him heart attack right now. Thank God for that.

“Shame he won’t make it, huh?” Steph mussed “He is in Illinois right now, isn’t he? It would take him two days driving to even get there”

Dani’s expression looked thoughtful “It’s quite far”

“Yeah, around… 2,500 miles from here”

“Huh”

“What got you thinking kid?” she inquired, ruffling her hair.

“Not a kid and I thought- there is kidnapping at three!” Dani darted in that direction before finishing sentence. Duke jumped right after her slightly scared. She was not ready to handle stuff like that without back up and she would try if he let her run of like that.

********

Steph: I'm meeting my almost niece tomorrow what should I- *gives a gremlin child an ultimate weapon of chaos*

Sometime before this part:

Steph: So, how is your kid?

Duke: She is not my kid!

Duke: By the way, wanna see video I saved of her doing proper side kick for the first time?

Danielle "looks like 10 years old is 10 months max" Phantom: I am in fact much higher than most kids my age

Duke "whoever is feeding this tiny child does bad job at it" Thomas & Stephanie "it's just a lil baby" Brown: Yeah... sure...

Next part

"Tag list" (i haven't expected to ever make it)

@pickleking8

[besttropeveershowdown]

The Worst Trope Ever Showdown: Round 3, Side C

Teacher/Student Romance

A teacher and a student are romantically involved.

Propaganda:

The power imbalance. The adult authority figure taking advantage of the youngster in their care. The grooming of someone vulnerable who trusts you to teach them about the world. It’s in Fire Emblem, it’s in kid media like Cardcaptor Sakura, it’s in the present AND backstory of many a romance…. And it’s always creepiness treated as a sweet ideal. Ick.

Born Sexy Yesterday

basically, it's a woman in media who's like a child in the way that they interact w/ the world, like inexperienced or innocent and misunderstanding. but they're still treated as sexy and hot and all.

this trope is predatory and weird asf, it treats women like infants and tries to make it sexy and endearing. it's gross.

woman is supposed to be hotter bc she's childlike and ignorant...gross!

[vhvrs]

*thinks abt planetina and explodes into recyclable confetti*

[mynameis-a]

person: were you born yesterday?

trailblazer: i’d say its been a couple of days, but yeah. pretty much.

person: w h a t

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

entrapta reminds me of those anime girls who look like they're twelve but are actually a hundred thousand years old or something.

[clonerightsagenda]

I still sometimes think about how well W359 would work in a The Good Place AU since Minkowski and Eiffel were already hired to torment each other. Minkowski and Eiffel get dumped into a neighborhood as assigned soulmates, Eiffel under false pretenses. Hera is Janet, obviously. Eris is Bad Janet. Hilbert is Michael and already on his second chance, which they don't find out about until Isabel Lovelace shows up in their nice, manicured neighborhood covered in scorch marks and carrying a pitchfork she stole from a demon demanding they help her rescue the rest of her friends. That's as far as my imagination ever went beyond that Jacobi and Maxwell are demons pretending to be another pair of soulmates in the neighborhood and doing a horrendous job of it, but Minkowski and Eiffel mostly don't notice because they've got their own problems.

[ginsoakedgirl80]

Waiting for Shen Li to figure out that she is related to this phoenix dude