#both of my eyes are sensitive but this month i learnt that one is more sensitive than the other

[yani00]

Tried that loreal eyelash serum and my left eye is starting to itch. Its not bad but its annoying and concerning

[marveicinematics]

after the nightmares (wanda x reader, smut)

Summary : You know how to make Wanda forget about her nightmares when she wakes up in the middle of the night.

Pairing : Wanda Maximoff x female reader.

Words : 1,275.

TW : Smut. Dirty talk, oral sex, tribbing, squirting.

Note : Happy pride month everyone! My first Wanda smut ever, let me know if you’d like to read more about her.

You clearly remember meeting her, months ago. She was alone at the bar, drinking her third cocktail of the night. She was the most beautiful woman you had ever seen. Bright red hair, the most beautiful face and lips you’d damn yourself to kiss at least once. You made your way to her, offered her to pay the next drink.

Before you were even tipsy, both of you were in the bar’s bathroom, fingers deep inside the other, holding back screams of pleasure.

“Fuck, I can’t even moan your name, I don’t know it.“

“Wanda,“ she answered with a smirk on her face, before you reached your orgasm, clenching hard against her long expert fingers.

It had been months, but the two of you kept meeting then and there, ending (or beginning) most of your dates with the wildest sex you ever had in your life. In back alleys, on the kitchen counter, in your bed right before she fell asleep in your arms. Months of happiness where you learnt more about Wanda, her story and her bagages. You loved spending time with her nevertheless, accepting each of her flaws, comforting her after each of her nightmares.

Tonight was one of those nights, Wanda had fallen asleep in your arms naked and you were still reading when you felt her squirm and mumble in her sleep. You did what you always did to comfort her, but it didn’t seem to calm her.

“Pietro !“ She screamed when she woke up, hands shaking.

“Shhh, I’m here, it’s over.“

Your hands cupped her face, thumbs rubbing against her skin as you maintained eye contact with her.

“It was a nightmare, it wasn’t real,“ you said with a soft tone and you saw her nodding softly.

“It wasn’t real,“ whispered Wanda.

“It wasn’t real, no. I, on the contrary, am very real.“

And to make sure she believed you, you closed the small gap between your mouths and kissed her as gently as one could, letting your lips taking away her pain and fear. It worked its magic, and you felt Wanda ease in your kiss, deepening it as she slowly forgot about the nightmare that just woke her up.

You felt her tongue lick your lower lip, asking for permission that you gave her right away, opening your mouth for her. Your body leaned closer against hers, your hips pinning hers to the mattress under her. She sighed in the kiss as your knee moved up between her legs, grazing her naked thighs.

“Don’t stop,“ she whispered again.

You smirked in the kiss, moving your knee up higher to press against her still covered cunt.

“D’you like this?“

“More...“ is all you could hear her mumble through her breathing as it was already getting heavier.

You pressed harder, moving your knee up and down her pussy as you started to feel the fabric of her panties getting wet. No doubt she was enjoying it. You rubbed her clit, earning a high-pitched moan from the woman you craved to please.

“Wanda, baby, you’re making a mess of those pretty panties.“

Your smirk didn’t leave your face yet, still rubbing her through the soaked fabric of her underwear. You knew how sensitive Wanda was after waking up. If you kept going, you’d get her to cum like this. 

“It feels amazing!“

Her voice was already louder, and you thanked yourself for getting a soundproof apartment. She was not the type to be quiet in bed. 

“Are you going to come for me, baby?“

Her only answer was another loud moan, and you knew she’d be screaming your name in no time. You moved your knee faster and faster, feeling yourself get aroused by the situation as your own breathing started to be heavier.

Wanda’s moans became high-pitched incoherent screams and her legs started to tremble against the bed. She was getting there. So you stopped without a warning, looking her eyes widen at the loss of her own orgasm.

“What the hell, I was so close!“

“I know, baby.“

Smile on your face, you took your tank top off, revealing your round boobs and hard nipples. The panties came off next, and you straddled her.

“You didn’t think I was going to stay out of the fun, right?“

You moved your own hand down your body and between your legs, brushing two of your fingertips against your cunt to gather some of your arousal. Slowly, you moved your wet fingers to Wanda’s face, and she opened her mouth immediately. She started sucking on your fingers, tasting you as she moaned in pleasure and finally let go of your digits with a loud ‘pop‘.

Wanda laid on her back, grabbing your hips to pull you higher up. Holding onto the headboard, you straddled her face, her tongue finding your wet pussy immediately. One lick, two licks, three licks and the next thing you knew, she was devouring you. You were bucking your hips against her face as she alternated between licking and sucking on your clit and shoving her expert tongue deep inside you, where you needed it the most. One of your hand grabbed her red hair, tilting your head back as you moaned.

“This feels heavenly!“

It only encouraged Wanda to go harder, bringing you close to your peak quickly. You let yourself reach the edge, getting closer and closer to your release before moving your hips up and stopping right before your orgasm.

“Do you plan on getting any of us off tonight?“ asked Wanda with a smirk on her face.

The naughtiest side of her was the one you loved the most. Taking off her top, you immediately started to suck on her breast, tongue playing with her nipple as she moaned softly. She was definitely still aroused.

After taking the pair of panties that she ruined off of her, you spread her legs wide enough and straddled her again, making sure both of your needy cunts were rubbing against the other as you were bucking your hips.

“Oh, god, Wanda…“

Again, it felt like nothing else. Both of you were already close and you had no time to waste. You started to rub yourself on her wet pussy, grabbing her ankles to hold her legs still.

“Oh my god, yes!“ Wanda started screaming almost immediately as she tilted her head back into the pillow.

“That’s it baby, scream for me.“

You moved faster, boobs bouncing in rhythm with your thrust against Wanda’s pussy.

“Fuck me, I’m going to come so fast!“ Wanda screamed again.

You knew she wasn’t lying. Letting go of her legs, you leaned closer so your boobs rubbed against hers, your face so close to hers that you could feel her warm breath on your lips.

“That’s it, fuck. Fucking cum for me, Wanda. I’m so close.“

You grabbed the pillow under her head with both hands, clenching your fists as hard as you could as Wanda’s hands were on your ass, pushing you harder against her. Her screams became euphoric as she neared her orgasm again and you had to close your eyes as the wave of pleasure hit you hard.

“Fuck, ‘m coming…!“ You managed to moan before you started screaming, shaking on top of her. “Wanda! Wanda, baby! F-Fuck!“

She followed you quickly, squirts of her pleasure making an absolute mess of the bed as she screamed like no one else in the whole world existed but the two of you.

You laid down next to her, both of you heavy breathing and sweating, some spasms still making her legs shake against the bed. You moved your head towards her and giggled.

“You’re the best at this,“ you said softly.

“Oh, no. You are.“

[mwahmimi]

Ok… I would like a gator tillman smut like maybe he has been away for awhile because Roy asked him to take care of something and when he comes back all he wants it’s reader but he’s not only f*cking reader but makes love to reader… idk something like that

Far too long / Gator Tillman- Fargo / One Shot / Smut

CW- smut, the term daddy is used, overstimulation, squirting, fingering, p in v, porn with a slight plot, established relationship, x reader.

“Been a while huh princess? Daddy has to work, you know that right? Daddy works to keep those hands of yours soft and manicured, while mine are dirty and calloused. Y’like that though don’t you? My hands all rough, rubbing against this pretty little pussy. Look at her, she’s crying out for me. Your little princess brain is leaking out of her.” Gator teases, he rubs his middle finger through your slit. Separating your folds and zeroing over your clit. Your breath hitches as he begins to curl his fingers inside of you, his fingertips grazing your g-spot every time he pumps them into you.

“Please.. No more. No more teasing. Want you. Please.” You’re begging him, he’s been away for little over two months, some bullshit that Roy had sent him away to take care of. You weren’t interested in his work, you learnt a long time ago to ask no questions. Ignorance is bliss. But your body aches for him, your head full of nothing but Gator Gator Gator. Your clit practically throbbing his name in morse code. He knows just how to tease you, having dated you for so long he knew your weak spots, how to melt that mind of yours.

“See, any other time, Daddy would tell you to be patient. But fuck. Babe, I need to be inside you. Been away far too long. Never again. I’ll work from fucking home and dad can just fucking like it.” He spits his words out like venom on his tongue. You knew he was lying, as much as you loved him, he could never stand up to his father. That’s a problem for another day, you hum as he rubs his dick against your slit. Your pussy acting as all the lubricant you could ever need, leaving his length slick and wet. Ready for you.

With his first thrust inside you, you’re putty in his hands. Your breath hitches as his cock hits your g-spot, violating the area until all you can think about is how good it feels. Nobody has ever fucked you so good.

“My girl. My fuckin’ girl. Missed you so much. Not just this ass of yours either. Missed your love.” Gator groans as he gently slaps your ass, leaning forward to rub your clit. It’s almost too much, the praise and the feeling of his fingers kissing your hypersensitive clit.

“Daddy. Missed you too. Love you. Love how you make me feel, love you.” You manage to get those words out in-between moans, your eyes rolling into the back of your head with every movement he makes deeper inside you. You’re convinced you can feel him in your stomach.

“Love’ya too- Gonna fill you up so good baby.” His words tease you, all your thoughts muddle up into one, Gator. Gator and how he feels, fucking the moans out of your mouth. Gator and how he’s over-stimulating both your clit and your g-spot at once. Gator and how he’s still wearing that shit eating smirk on his face, knowing how much it gets to you. All you want in your life is Gator.

Your orgasm builds in the pit of your stomach, the familiar feeling rising higher and higher. You clench around Gator’s cock. Almost trapping him into cumming inside you as you come undone yourself.

“Close.. so close. Please.” You whimper, your face buried in the pillows of your shared bed as you desperately dribble saliva from your mouth onto the sheets. He picks up the pace, not wanting to waste any more time. He just wants you. He wants to make you feel incredible. And that he does, when your orgasm washes over you like a tidal wave. Gushing over his cock as your tormented clit becomes even more sensitive after cumming. He doesn’t stop fucking you, he pounds into your hole faster and harder than before. It’s all too much for your little body to handle and he knows that. You can’t hold it any longer, your pussy squirting over your boyfriend and the bed.

Soft groans come from behind you as Gator ruts. Wiping the sweat from his brow and pulling out of you, ropes of cum still dripping from cock and dribbling out of your abused cunt.

Gator wipes the mess from your body and his, ripping the soiled sheets off the bed as you both collapse on the mattress in each other’s embrace.

“Love you.” He whispers against your cheek before planting a gentle kiss through panted breaths. “Love you too.” Your eyes still tightly shut, as if opening them would make the moment just a dream. You squeeze his arm a little, needing something to grip onto as you crash back from ecstasy to reality. The pair of you lay there, breathing each other in, not wanting to move a muscle. Roy better not send him away for this long ever again.

[itstheoneshot]

Kinktober Day 13

Breeding/Lactation - Minho

!dom Minho

Your husband had become rabid the first time that you got pregnant. He had always dreamt of being a father, that may have been why he loved when you called him Daddy, so when it finally happened, he was over the moon. So attentive to every one of your needs throughout the nine months, even more so than he already was, and a thousand times more once your little girl arrived. Obsessed with you, obsessed with her, he held your family together and for that you were eternally grateful.

When your daughter was 18 months old, you fell pregnant again. This time you were terrified, still breastfeeding your first, you had no idea if you were ready. Yet, Minho assured you in both his words and actions that he would be just as supportive, and happy to take on additional responsibility to make sure that you were okay.

You were blessed again with an easy pregnancy, no morning sickness, no painful symptoms, but you didn’t take this for granted, having seen your friends go through awful terms, you counted your lucky stars that you were able to function as normal, albeit growing another addition to your already perfect family inside you. Your daughter was too young to understand that she would have a sibling, only learning to string a few words together, but she would understand more by the time your baby came along. 

Six months along, you are resting in your bed as Minho puts your daughter to sleep in her room. Reading a book, you barely notice your husband as he enters, it is only when you feel the weight shift on the mattress that you look up at him with a soft smile.

“Thank you,” You mumble, “I’m sorry I wasn’t more help tonight.”

Minho settles next to you, splaying his large hand over your stomach, and he lifts his head to stare at you with those beautiful doe eyes of his, “Nae sarang,” He shakes his head, “You do more than I ever could, growing and feeding our girl, and this one too, you don’t need to do anything else… That's why I’m here.”

He treats you like a princess, kissing you softly while his hand presses a little firmer to feel your baby kicking. They love their Daddy, and you love him too, cupping his cheeks with your hands as his kisses become more charged, forceful, he is fired up, and you would never say no. Your stomach is inconveniently in the way, though his desire for you is so persistent that you have learnt the right positions to avoid that, on your side, his body so much larger than yours it is easy for him to fit between your legs.

“You’re so beautiful.” He purrs, grinding into you, fuck, is he hard already?

“No, no,” You shake your head cheekily, “Daddy, what do you want?”

Minho growls, the name setting him off, “I want you, my love,” He responds, “I need to be inside you, knocking you up again.”

You moan into his mouth as you spread your legs further apart, begging for him with your body, wearing no panties under his shirt that you wear to sleep. He is only in loose basketball shirts and a t-shirt, it is easy to feel how hard he is, did that happen the second he walked into the room?

“Take me,” You urge him, “I need it, get me pregnant again.”

It’s crazy, and you both know it, but his desires are so intense, and you have grown to love them too. You are so much more sensitive when you are pregnant, it makes all of this so much better. You sit up so that he can pull your shirt up over your head, exposing your naked body to him and he quickly moves to kiss your neck, a hand on one of your breasts, massaging it as he kisses further down to reach the other, not wanting to leave it bare. His tongue swipes over your nipple, and he moans around it as you begin to leak, slightly engorged from your daughter missing a feed, and your body preparing for another baby, it’s no surprise that the slightest stimulation has your milk dripping out.

“Please,” You beg him, “Fuck me, please.”

Minho really didn’t need to be asked, his hand moving away from your breast to your core instead, already wet for him it takes no time to prepare you, soon replacing three fingers with his cock, hard and leaking as he thrusts in all the way. Your milk spills down your stomach as he fucks into you, both overwhelmed and obsessed and turned on and fucking crazy for each other. He fills you effortlessly, moaning loudly in sync with your own, fingers on your clit to pull you closer to release in time with his own. You have this all figured out, perfect positioning to not hurt your baby, but still to be close enough to kiss you, to feel the way that your body shakes with every thrust, falling apart on his fingers and his cock.

“Gonna fill you up, baby,” He warns you, “You want that, don’t you? I’ll keep you pregnant forever.” 

You arch your back the best that you can as you fall over the edge, cumming on his cock which pushes him into orgasm too, filling you to overflow, though his fingers hold you round the edge to stop you from leaking as he fucks you until he is dry. Slowing down he breathes heavily, coming down from his high as you descend from yours too. He kisses you softly, pulling out of you while you whine in sensitivity and from the loss, Minho helps you sit, making sure that you are steady before he guides you to the bathroom to help clean you up. He changes the bedsheets while you rinse off in the tub, and soon you are again curled up in his arms to sleep.

-

kinktober masterlist

[therhythmafterthesummer]

I have a question about wereroomies 🤭 so how did Chan react when he learnt that Bin and his gf got together? (and everyone else, but I say Chan specifically because he knew the whole background) I absolutely adore them and how they got together and how much they trust each other and Binnie allowing himself to be vulnerable AND UGHHHH

when it comes to chan, it was very gradual. i imagine it went something like:

three weeks after bin found out they were working at the same company:

chris: dude you... have been talking about her for like three weeks? are you sure you're 'over it', because you've said that like ten times throughout these three weeks and here we are having this conversation again.

bin: no, chris, you don't GET IT-- SHE...

and he'd continue to ramble on, and chris won't say anything because he's aware bin just wants to vent

more under the cut because this is LONG !

when bin got some alone time after chris met her at the den:

chris: yo, are you... like, okay ? i mean, you've been complaining about her for MONTHS. and now.... she's your roomie?

bin: yeah, i mean... she's not so bad i guess

that's when chris' brain will start to cook things up like 'huh, interesting....'

after bin and her started cuddling often:

chris, KNOWING changbin is developing feelings, because he can hear his heart race when he sees her almost across the walls: hey i know you live together but... you sure have a lot of her scent on you?

bin will choke out some pathetic excuse, to which chris will just give him a 'uhuh, sure. yeah. your laundry got tangled together, got it'

chris won't tease him often, though, because he knows it's a sensitive situation

after bin and his spicy gingerbread get together:

bin: hey, you know... so... her and i... i mean...

chris, in the most monotone voice he can muster: wow, i'm shocked. i can't believe this has happened. you? falling for her? unforeseeable.

bc one thing about bin is that he hadn't really spoken about his feelings in detail with anyone. he kind of figured chris had figured it out, but he wasn't ready to just talk about it

bin, being dramatic: i come here to open up my heart and this is how you treat me? i see how it is, huh....

and chris would just pull him close into a hug: alright, alright. sorry. tell me about it. are you happy? all i want is for you to be happy, and for her to be happy. you smell like gingerbread cookies right now, so i'm guessing you are... you know if you break her heart i'll have to kick you out, right??

bin: HEY I WAS HERE FIRST...

they'll fake-banter for a while, but ultimately they'll talk, and truly, chris just wants them both to be happy. and when bin shares just the tiniest details on how they usually cuddle, and their dynamic overall, chris IS happy. because he knows that's what changbin had always yearned for.

when it comes to how the rest reacted:

the rest of the pack will find out in the stupidest way possible. a couple of days after they got together for real, they hadn't said anything yet to the rest. but they were all doing something in chris' flat, she was there, changbin was still at work, and as soon as he made it to chris' and saw his girl he just went in for the kiss because he'd missed her all day.

neither of them really thought much about it, but the second their lips touched someone gasped and changbin could already feel the dread of his friends' teasing eyes.

they'll be super annoying about it but super supportive, as it's customary

during all this entire thing, the ONLY person that knew one of them had feelings for the other was for sure was chris' girl.

you see, her and changbin's girl got close pretty fast. because chris' girl is just that type of person that makes you feel safe when you talk to them.

so when changbin and his girl started to get close, when they started to cuddle often, she went to talk to her precious pack mum.

her: so listen... there's this thing going on.... and idk how to deal with it...

pack mum: well, baby, sounds like you have a crush (remember by this point changbin's girl had only ever been with her abusive alpha, so she's kind of thick headed when it comes to recognising her feelings, you know, as a coping mechanism)

so yeah changbin's girl would often go to chris' girl to vent about EVERYTHING.

her: god, he's so fucking handsome. he was wearing this shirt today... did you see his tits? HUGE. i wanna bury my face in there. need to sit on his lap SO bad. i wonder if he whines when....

chris' girl will let her go on most of the time, chuckling and giggling and laughing but when changbin's girl got too graphic she'd be like: HEY I LOVE YOU AND SUPPORT YOU BUT I DON'T NEED TO KNOW SUCH DETAILS SPARE MY EYES AND EARS.

and boy, when i tell you the second changbin's girl got her phone in her hand after they had sex for the first time, she was already informing her confidant.

the text to chris' girl probably went something like: SDKFHSKJDFHSJKFD DON'T SAY ANYTHING BUT BIN AND I JUST FUUUUUCKED. HIS TITS FEEL BETTER THAN I IMAGINED. AND HE DOES WHINE. LIKE, PRETTILY AND EVERYTHING

chris' girlfriend will receive that probably on a random tuesday evening and be like WTFFFF

but she'll be super supportive of course~

[kukies-capabilities]

I posted 131 times in 2022

That's 13 more posts than 2021!

82 posts created (63%)

49 posts reblogged (37%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@gatheryepens

@nietxsche

@spelledslots

@elysianania

@autistudyblr

I tagged 85 of my posts in 2022

Only 35% of my posts had no tags

#study blog - 77 posts

#studyblr - 77 posts

#sixth form - 76 posts

#a levels - 75 posts

#study space - 75 posts

#studywithme - 72 posts

#a level physics - 70 posts

#a level maths - 54 posts

#year 12 - 52 posts

#a level further maths - 50 posts

Longest Tag: 104 characters

#i’ll probably lose but i don’t know what to do with myself and this seems like the best option right now

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

On Thursday I woke up with a migraine and made myself go to school cause there was a show I didn’t want to miss and I had both of my maths teachers that day. I did this with the plan on not going in on Friday. Come Friday I still feel horrible, my skin feels sensitive, my eyes hurt when I move them. I’m suffering. I eventuality take a covid test and it comeback positive.

I wrote off my original symptoms as a combination of me over working myself and stress. This so my first time testing positive since the start of the pandemic. I’m not as invincible as I though. 😪

Day 24: What's your favourite beverage?

Nigerian Fanta. It’s sold in a glass bottle and it so much better than what the one that they sell herein the UK.

Day 25: What does your ideal breakfast look like?

A breakfast wrap/sandwich that contains eggs and sausage (beef of course)

Fruit and yogurt parfait on the side

Day 26: What's the cosiest place in your mind right now?

My bedroom. Just me, my bed and Aristotle and Dante

And the public library I go to. Me and all those books.

26 notes - Posted February 26, 2022

#4

I think I am starting to enjoy revising/studying (would enjoy it much more if my maths exam wasn’t so close but you win some you lose some). I think have a routine that works for me for now.

Ramadan is less than 20 days away and I need to come up with some sort of timetable to ensure I get enough sleep, and can still revise. I wish I was the type of person wi could fall asleep where ever quickly. If I was I wouldn’t Bebe bother changing my routine much. I would just take naps everywhere.

15th March: How do you deal with academic/work stress? Do you have a coping system/mechanism?

I feel like I’m in a constant state of panic so at this point I don’t get affected much.

However every once in a while I do stress more than usual so much so that my appetite is usually affected. In those scenarios I make sure to write down everything I need to do and spread it out over a period of time.

I have learnt that when I have a lot of something to do, that me trying to do it all in one day doesn’t work for me. I get bored and ended up working img slowly. Or I get stressed by how much I have left to do, and end up freezing.

29 notes - Posted March 15, 2022

#3

First week back at school done. It was tiring, and I took today (Sunday) to complete relax and do no work. I know this is gonna be my last peaceful/stress-less day for a while so I savoured it.

I started listening to a true crime podcast called “female criminals” and a history podcast called “history’s b side” both are quite interesting. Would recommend both of them.

I went to my first bookclub meeting. I joined the club a couple months back but never I never went to the meetings cause didn’t have time to read the books. But I managed to this month and it was fun talking to other about books.

Quantum fact: The uncertainty principle tells us that the more we know about one property of a wave the less we know about another. Pairs include Wavelength and location as well as energy and time. For example, the easier it is to pinpoint the location of a wave, the harder it is to find its wavelength.

See the full post

31 notes - Posted April 24, 2022

#2

I went exploring over the weekend!!!!

Saturday 19th March

I went to the Future Robots: Material Futures X DeepMind exhibition in London with a friend. It was cool and interesting. My favourite part was the synesthesia translator

We then went to a cafe in bookstore and worked for a bit. I felt so ✨aesthetic✨

Sunday 20th March

Went to the British library with my friend. It was so huge but a nice change of scenery

Took my younger sister with me and I don’t think I’ll be doing that again. Her being there made it more stressful and harder for me to concentrate as I had to ensure that she was safe

51 notes - Posted March 21, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Day 1: What’s your favourite podcast?

The Magnus archives. Such a good podcast. I have season 5 left and then it’s over 🥲

I did just finish “Fearie” today and that is definitely a good one

85 notes - Posted February 1, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[weasleylangs]

dirty little secret / g.w

‘i go around a time or two, just to waste my time with you’ 

Summary: Being friends with benefits was a mutual decision, a way to relieve stress when needed after a stressful twelve months. It was decided it was just between them, not to be anybodies business but George and Y/N’s, but she doesn’t want to be his dirty little secret anymore. Pairing: George Weasley x Fem!Reader Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI !! no graphic depictions of sex but there’s one really fucking steamy kiss and sex & fwb situations/hookup culture is discussed heavily, sweet aftercare for both reader and George, jealousy & possession (nothing toxic), alcohol / drinking, food.  Word Count: 5.6k AUTHORS NOTE / aaaaa the first instalment for my pop punk series!!! this one is based off dirty little secret by the all american rejects! im going to kiss @weelittleweasley for helping me write the steamy kiss btw!!!!!

POP PUNK COLLECTION 

(all 18+) taglist / @spacexcowgirl @weelittleweasley​ @lumos-barnes​ @butterflybuchanan​ @levylovegood​ @omghufflepuff​ @mitsukui​ 

----------

Y/N hears George when he reenters her room, a glass of water in one of his hands, a washcloth in the other. Her legs still feel slightly numb from the pleasure she had just been on the receiving end of, a blissed-out expression on her face as she makes grabby hands towards the man in her doorway. 

George smiles dopily down at her, helping her sit up before handing her the glass of water. “How are you feeling?” he asks, checking in as he starts to help clean Y/N up. He quickly stops when she winces, scared he hurt her. “Fuck, sorry,” he whispers, pulling his hand away but when she laughs and grabs his hand, he relaxes.

“It’s fine,” she smiles, the look of euphoria still gracing her facial features. “Just a little sensitive,” she says honestly. George nods slightly, a proud smile on his lips as he goes back to cleaning her skin, taking extra care in areas where Y/N would be sensitive. 

He’s always like this after sex, making sure she’s okay. It’s a part of the reason why Y/N agreed on being friends with benefits with him in the first place, he’s the most trustworthy person she knows. 

It all started when they were twenty-one; the war had finished, their loved ones were safe and they so desperately needed to unwind in a very specific way after the stress of the previous twelve months. It was a mistake at first, two best friends drunkenly joking about sleeping together and the next thing they knew, they were rolling in the sheets together. Y/N was positive she ruined her longest friendship, but when George began his own personal ritual of aftercare, she knew she couldn’t let him go easily. 

This is why when the preposition of friends with benefits was put on the table by George, she immediately took it; six months later they’re still sleeping together, and even though her feelings for George are evergrowing, she’s happy with their current situation. 

“You sure you’re okay?” George presses when he’s noticed Y/N’s eyes glazed over. He’s worried he went a little harder than usual tonight. The stress of getting the joke shop back up and running has been getting to him and he needed a release of pressure in more ways than one.  

“Yes, I’m sure,” she says, taking George’s hand in her own before pressing a soft kiss to his knuckles that causes a soft red hue to develop across his freckled cheeks. That’s something else she’s learnt about George since she began sleeping with him; he needs aftercare for himself just as much herself, and he mostly needs it in some form of physical affection. “Just thinking, nothing bad. I promise.” 

George nods asking if Y/N’s good to be picked up. She giggles when she realises he’s taking her to the bathroom so she can pee. He sits her down on the toilet before turning around and gasping as he sees his reflection in the mirror. “Fuck woman,” he exclaims, before twisting his body so he can see the scratches that start at his shoulders and trail down his back. “Were you trying to rip me apart?” 

He hears a giggle come from behind him, quickly followed by a toilet flushing. He feels her frame push past him so she can wash her hands and when she reaches to grab some cream to put on George’s back she lets out her own gasp.

“George Fabian Weasley, what the fuck?” Her neck has a hickey, and not just a small one. She’s beginning to question whether George is part vampire when she looks up at him and he’s smirking at her, a mischievous glint in his eye. “It’s Spring! I have lunch with Angie tomorrow! I can’t cover these!”

George almost feels bad, but his admiration for his work on her neck is slightly winning over his guilt. “I’m sorry, darling,” it’s genuine and they both know it when Y/N’s scowl falters slightly, threatening to smile.

“No, you’re not,” she says, grabbing the cream for his back and pushing him back into her bedroom. Before she begins to help George, she stands in front of her drawers, grabbing clothes to put on now she’s come out of her post-sex haze. She hears the redhead behind her chuckle when he recognises the sweater she puts on as his own as he puts his own boxers back on. “But I guess it’s payback. Your back’s going to hurt tomorrow and Fred’s going to wonder why.”

None of their friends are aware of... their arrangement. They agreed, knowing they would make it weird. After all, Fred’s engaged to his long term girlfriend from their Hogwarts years and their other friends have all started putting themselves out there, so it’s safe to say, they’re the last two to start to settle down. 

But they like their current relationship; it’s carefree, it’s simple, it’s not complicated like a proper relationship and if they’re honest, they get some mindblowing sex out of it. So it’s not anybody’s business but each other’s. 

After a while, Y/N’s finished putting the cream on George’s back. She spent the time mumbling apologies whenever George winces, she didn’t realise how hard she was going so she makes a mental note to not rip apart his back the next time they see each other. She presses a gentle kiss to the base of George’s neck, something she doesn’t think too much about but it feels like it’s blurring the lines between romantic and platonic right now and she feels herself panic a tiny bit.

“Do you work tomorrow?” She asks George, who hums in agreement. His eyes are droopy like he’s almost falling asleep and Y/N expected this. He’s putty in anybody’s hands the second you start trailing your hands gently up any part of his body, specifically his back. “Are you sleeping here tonight?” she giggles as she asks and George sighs. 

“I probably shouldn't but-” he cuts himself off with a yawn before rolling over onto his back. “Your bed is just so much more comfortable than mine.” 

Y/N rolls her eyes, pushing him slightly before jumping off the bed and leaving George to frown at her when she moves from her spot next to him. She grabs her wand from her bedside table, walking through her flat to make sure all her lights are turned off before enchanting ‘lumos’ so she can light her way back to her bedroom. 

“You’re letting me stay?” She nods at his words, crawling into bed with him. While she knows George is a sucker for physical affection, Y/N is also well aware he hates sleeping cuddled up to people so she gives him his space in the bed. Because of this, she doesn’t expect George to shift his body so even though they’re not cuddling, they’re still close, a simple form of comfort that neither of them can decipher as platonic or romantic.

“Yes, you can stay,” she says, rubbing her thumb along George’s hand as a way of saying goodnight, “but you wake me up before 9am tomorrow and you die.” 

-----

When Y/N wakes up the next morning to her alarm going off, the side of the bed is empty and cold. Her alarm clock reads 10:30am, so she knows George has been gone for a few hours at this point. She feels a small sense of sadness, remembering how fun the mornings are the times George sleeps over and stays until she wakes up. 

She sighs, deciding there’s no point in dwelling on George’s absence. When she walks into her kitchen, she checks her kettle; cursing George when she finds it empty because she knows he just had to have a cup of tea before leaving this morning and rolls her eyes as she fills it herself. Her kettle’s boiling as she potters around when she spots a piece of paper with George’s writing all over it. 

‘George’s excuses for the hickeys’ the note reads in his messy scrawl, and Y/N has to stifle a cackle before she continues to read. ‘1. ran into a door’ is scratched out immediately and she knows George probably thought it was a good idea at first before realising the hickeys are on her neck, so the running into the door isn't feasible. ‘2. bug’ is the next one and she has to stop herself from rolling her eyes and when she goes back to George’s oh so incredible list, her breath hitches. 

‘3. be honest and say you hooked up with someone’ makes Y/N’s heart sink. She hasn’t slept with anyone besides George in the past six months, hasn’t wanted to either for that matter, but it makes her realise something. 

She doesn’t know if George is the same. 

She’s well aware of their situation and the lack of commitment outside of promising to come over later, but her emotions hit her harder than she thought they would. While she wouldn’t complain if she and George became something more, she knows it’s not what either of them is looking for at the moment, so she doesn’t understand why she’s so hurt. Does George think I shag other people? she thinks before the kettle starts to hiss to indicate the water is boiled and she’s brought back to reality. 

After drinking her tea, Y/N begins to get ready, trying her best to cover the purple bruises littering her neck and trying to keep herself under control while she admires them in the mirror. Soon enough, she’s out the door and making her way to Diagon Alley where she spots Angie, talking with Fred.

“Y/N!” Fred exclaims as she gets closer and waves frantically as she walks towards them. “We’re just talking about how we think George has a bird!” Y/N chokes on air, her brows furrowing at Fred’s words. They’ve been so careful, a bit too careful when it comes to hiding their relationship from their friends so she doesn’t understand.

“Why do you think that?” Her tone is casual, trying to act natural as she tries to find out what signs could point to their... activities being exposed, and to his brother of all people.

Fred starts laughing again, holding his stomach as he tries to tell the story. “He didn’t come home last night- I only noticed because I was up at 3 and his bedroom door was open which was weird because he didn’t tell me he was going out!” Fred’s animated when he’s talking, taking a sip of his drink and using his free hand to emphasise his story. “And when he was reaching for something in a closet today he winced, like his back hurt!” 

Y/N stares at Fred blankly, memories of the night before flooding her memory when Fred mentions George wincing. She knows now is not the time to start thinking about how good George made her feel last night. “What does wincing have to do with anything?” 

She knows she made a mistake when Fred’s eyes widen, staring at her. “Well, my dear prude Y/N, my back only hurts when it’s scratched up from a good fu-” 

“Okay, we do not need to hear about your sex life,” Angie says, grabbing Y/N by the shoulders and steering her off. “We have a lunch date that you’re not invited to.” She’s smiling when she says it and when Fred bids the two girls goodbye, Angie calls out something about making fun of George for her. 

She’s quiet on the walk to the cafe she and Angelina have planned for lunch, lost in thoughts. She’s stuck on the idea of George sleeping with other people even though she knows she was the one with George last night, that she was the one scratching up his back. They walk in tandem, Angelina raving about Quidditch while Y/N nodded in acknowledgement at appropriate times. 

Eventually, they reach the cafe, quickly taking a seat and looking at the menu. It’s then when Angelina’s hand pulls the menu down from Y/N’s face and she’s giving the girl a questioning look.

“What’s wrong?” She asks.

Y/N stares at her, not understanding how she did anything to convey any feeling at all, let alone a feeling of something being wrong. She’s about to deny it when she looks Angelina in the eye, and she realises she can’t lie to her because she’d be questioned for the rest of lunch. “Do you think George has a friend with benefits?”

Angelina giggles at Y/N’s words, smiling slightly. “I know you’re sleeping with him.” She says it so casually that Y/N doesn’t even process what she said for a few beats. She half expected her friend to admit she was also sleeping with George, after all, she used to suspect they had a thing when they were teenagers but this is the last thing she expected. 

She’s so baffled she can’t even deny it, no words leaving her mouth for a second before she just stares at Angelina, “How?”

Angelina keeps smiling, quickly ordering their drinks when the waitress comes over and requests a little longer to decide on food before turning back to her friend sitting dumbfounded across the table. “Fred might be stupid and oblivious, but I’m not. I see the way he looks at you.” 

Y/N doesn’t think George looks at her in any particular way, at least he doesn’t when she isn’t under him and she notices Angelina’s eyes soften when Y/N doesn’t say anything. “You didn’t know before sleeping with him?”

“Didn’t know what before sleeping with him?”

“That he likes you?” Y/N thinks Angelina’s being stupid; it’s always been her liking George and George not noticing, not the other way around. George has always been sweet and gentle in bed, way nicer and way more giving than any other romantic partner in her past, but she’s always chalked it up to him just being George. That’s how she’s always known him, how she knew him when they met at 11, how she knew him on the Quidditch pitch when they were 15 and how she knows him now, at 22 and in his bed. 

“He doesn’t like me, you’re just making stuff up!” She’s adamant Angelina’s just messing with her but Angelina just sighs, obviously ready to move on from the topic. “He doesn’t,” she whispers to no one in particular and she feels Angelina grab her hand, rubbing a thumb across the top in a comforting kind of way.

“I guess it’s not my place to say,” she starts, “but I’ve never seen George treat someone else like the way he treats you. It’s like... It’s like you’re glass, that he’s scared of breaking you and you have to be in his sights at all times.” It’s soft and Y/N knows it’s genuine as much as she hates to admit it. 

The conversation changes, thankfully putting Y/N and George out of the hot seat but she’s hanging onto every word of Angelina’s, suddenly overthinking every interaction she’s had with the redhead in the past few months. Panic starts to set in and it only gets worse when Angelina bids her goodbye.

Her thoughts are loud; does she like George or does she like the way George makes her feel? What if George has liked her this entire time and she’s mistaken her feelings for romantic when they’re purely physical? 

As she wonders, she realises she’s being stupid. Y/N knows she likes George, she’s liked George for so long and she likes him so much it hurts. That’s when a new thought arrives, a more sinister thought, a meaner thought; What if Angelina is just completely wrong, that’s always a possibility. What if George doesn’t like her back at all. 

-----

She wanders Diagon Alley, making her way to the Apothecary after remembering she needs some more Valerian sprigs to make a new batch of the Potion for Dreamless Sleep. She’s muttering to herself as she wanders the store, thinking about how these days her best night's sleep are spent besides George but the thought is quickly pushed away when she spots her ingredient of choice and she can barely reach it. 

“Fuck,” she mutters, looking around for a stool or a shop assistant so she can finally get out of Diagon Alley. She’s about to give up and leave herself when she’s met with a tough body slamming into her own. Apologies spill from her mouth quickly, feeling terrible she almost knocked this poor guy over in the middle of the Apothecary but when she looks up, George is looking down at her.

“What do you need, darling?” The nickname makes her heart race and she only hopes George can’t hear it seconds away from beating from her chest. She doesn’t respond immediately, preoccupied with how nice he looks and it’s not until he waves in front of her face that she responds.

“Sorry,” she says, shaking her head in a way to push away her thoughts, “was looking for some Valerian sprigs.” She hopes George minds his own business, memories from her meeting with Angelina flooding her thoughts. She starts to over analyse the way George looks at her, whether it’s as if she’s glass, like Angelina claims but when she looks at George, he’s reaching up and grabbing the jar for her.

“Treacle fudge?” He questions, and it takes her a moment to process he’s asking why she needs the ingredient. 

“Dreamless Sleep,” she replies, embarrassed. She’s never needed a sleeping potion when George is around, his presence alone is enough to fight off any unwanted nightmares but that’s the last thing he needs to know. Thankfully, he doesn’t comment, just puts the jar back up on the shelf when she’s done and motions for her to follow him around the store. 

He stops in front of the rose thorns, silently debating how many to get when he feels Y/N’s eyes on him. “Love potion, for WonderWitch,” he says, grabbing some and putting them in a bag before making his way to the counter. He grabs the Valerian sprigs from Y/N’s hand, placing them alongside his rose thorns and ignoring her protests when he hands some Galleons to the shopkeeper. 

“I get a discount,” he says when they exit the shop, “plus, I didn’t mind.” Y/N stares at him, not able to read a single emotion on his face. She thanks him and takes the Valerian sprigs from him and places them in her bag. 

“Do you wanna come over tonight?” He asks, rubbing the back of his neck. “Fred won’t be home.” His cheeks are flushed red, almost like he’s shy asking to see her for the second night in a row. The word ‘yes’ is on the tip of her tongue, threatening to spill out without her permission. She badly wants to let the word slip as well, but her thoughts from earlier come to the forefront once again and at this moment, Y/N can’t seem to convince herself that George wants her in the same way she wants him.

“No, sorry,” she says bluntly, and she doesn’t miss the look of shock on his face. Y/N has never turned George down and while he respects her no, it confuses him nonetheless. “Just... Not feeling well. You know?”

Y/N knows George doesn’t believe her, she sees it in his eyes, but he hums in acknowledgement before lifting his wrist and checking his watch. “Look, I’ve gotta go, Fred’s going to kill me,” the words are forced like he wants to stay and make sure everything is okay between the pair and he’s being pulled away too soon. “I’ll see you sometime this week, yeah?”

“Yeah, maybe,” Y/N says, knowing he doesn’t mean sometime this week in his bed, but the thought happens before she can stop it and it’s right now she realises she needs to push George away before she gets more hurt. 

-----

It’s been a week since Y/N turned down George’s offer to come over that night, and she has a feeling he’s avoiding her. Usually, when Y/N denies him it only takes him a few days before he comes crawling back or vice versa; they’ve never been able to go long without falling into bed together, the co-dependency on each other for a hook up was one they never discussed, but was known, so the fact George didn’t end up in her bed during the week makes her painfully aware something is wrong and even though she knows it’s her own fault, it doesn’t make it hurt any less.  

The suspicion is only confirmed when she’s dragged to a bar in Muggle London on the following Saturday night. Angie, Katie and Alicia’s complaints that Y/N’s been too high strung this week getting to her and their peer pressure eventually worked. She doesn’t mind the bar- it’s not too busy but it’s still got enough people in it for a good time and Katie and Lee are getting everyone drinks when Y/N spots a head of bright, auburn hair across the room. 

She doesn’t even think twice before knowing it’s George, and it’s got nothing to do with the girl next to him, hanging off every word he’s saying not being Fred’s fiancée. The way she feels in her entire body when she spots him, the ache in her heart she feels is what confirms it’s George. He’s the only person to ever have this kind of power over her and at this moment, she wishes he didn’t. 

Because George is flirting with the girl next to him and she’s batting her eyelashes, clearly happy with the attention the cute redhead is giving her and Y/N wants nothing more than to be in her place and it hurts, even more, knowing she usually is in her place. George is a lot more comfortable talking sex once he has a few glasses of whiskey, so the flirting gets turned up to an eleven and all their friends laugh at his forwardness. 

Angelina sees Y/N staring longingly at the younger twin and without words she knows something is wrong. So she grabs the tequila from Katie and places it in front of Y/N. “Drink it.” She looks at Angelina, confused why her attention was stolen from George but smiles happily when the shot glass is in her hand. 

It burns as it slides down her throat, after all, tequila always does. She quickly takes the lemon from whoever’s holding it out to her, pulling a face as the sourness meets her taste buds. Angelina, Katie and Alicia and hollering when she looks back at them, her friends successfully stealing her attention from George as they drag her to the dancefloor. ABBA is playing over the loudspeaker, and the girls yell in excitement, they would never pass up the opportunity to dance to ABBA; memories of post-Quidditch parties and sneaking Firewhiskey into the Gryffindor Common Room coming to the forefront of their minds. 

They dance for who knows how long with Lee joining them as he dances between Alicia and Katie, playing up the ladies’ man role. It makes Y/N laugh, Lee clearly loving the attention from the girls but it’s at that moment she spots George and the girl from earlier, dancing; George’s hands are on her hips, respectful but holding her close and it fills Y/N with a feeling so horrible, she has to turn around to push the vile, green monster back down. 

Thankfully, or not so thankfully, she’s not entirely sure just yet, she turns to face a guy. He’s cute, got a puppy dog look about him and he smiles at Y/N in a way that indicates he’s asking to dance. She says yes, of course, and her hands wrap around his neck. She hates that she’s spending this time dancing with him comparing him to George; his hands aren’t as calloused, he smells like mint as opposed to the familiar scent of cinnamon and Earl Grey tea, her heart isn't racing like it would if she was with the redhead. 

George sees her across the dance floor because his eyes haven’t left her all night. He knows he’s leading this poor girl on, Bianca is her name; he’s not going to end up taking her home like he knows she’s hoping, but he needed a distraction. When he sees Y/N starting to dance with a guy, his jaw tenses and his eyes narrow; he knows he’s being stubborn. If he just talked to Y/N everything would be sorted but he doesn’t want to be the one to break, he wants Y/N to come to him, to want him. 

Their eyes meet across the dance floor, the guy’s head dipping into the crook of Y/N’s neck, his arm is wrapped around her waist as her back is pressed against his chest, grinding her bum onto his crotch. She tries to look away from George but she can’t, his eyes are enchanting and this is the most attention they’ve gotten from each other since that day in Diagon Alley. George whispers something into the girl’s ear, his grip on her hips getting tighter but his eyes never leave Y/N’s. 

It’s Y/N who breaks eye contact, her head falling back onto her dance partner’s shoulder and when George sees open mouth kisses pressed to Y/N’s neck, he snaps. He mutters an excuse to Bianca and walks as fast as he can to the girl he wants. He sees his friends snickering at each other as they dance but no one says anything.

She feels his presence before she feels him grab her wrist, so he doesn’t scare her. Her head immediately pops up, looking George in the eye. “Oi, nah. I had her first,” the guy behind Y/N says, his grip visually tightening on Y/N as if she’s a toy and George is coming to steal it, but he has to stifle a laugh; the guy’s confident, George’ll give him that.

“Nah, mate,” he starts, the music changing to a more sensual R&B song as he speaks. He sees Y/N blush at his simple words and he gently tugs at her wrist again, not in a demanding kind of way; he’s asking, pleading her to follow him and when she steps away from the guy she was dancing with, she mutters an apology before letting George drag her where he wants to go. 

----

They don’t even say two words to each other once they’re in the bathroom together. George pulls her inside quickly, before pushing her up against the door, attaching his lips immediately to her neck before he gently sucks and bites, subconsciously leaving a small hickey like it's the most natural thing in the world for him to do. She’s missed having him this close so when her fingers rake through his long hair, she gives it a gentle tug before pulling his mouth up to her own, wanting to kiss him with everything she has, needing him even closer. He obliges of course, always happy to give Y/N what she wants.

When George’s lips finally meet hers, he’s kissing her like it’s the last time they’ll ever kiss; it’s messy, desperate, like most of their kisses are, hands gripping wherever they can just to ensure the other isn’t leaving. George is intoxicating to Y/N like she can get drunk from the taste of his whiskey covered lips alone and her head spins when she feels his hands rake up her body, grasping her waist and pushing her harder against the door. A small moan leaving Y/N’s lips is all George needs to force his tongue into her mouth, massaging their tongues together and she tugs at the hair at the nape of his neck again, desperately needing him as close as humanly possible without defiling this public bathroom. The action makes George whimper, loving nothing more than having her fingers tugging at his auburn locks and it gives her a slight power trip. Just a slight one, as she tries to take control of the kiss. 

It doesn’t last long because before she knows it, she’s whimpering under his touch and surrendering everything she has to him as his hands caress her body, grabbing and pulling her to him wherever possible. His hands eventually land on her thighs, and when he grabs them and hoists her up, her legs immediately wrap around his waist. The action alongside the pressure on her crotch makes her moan and she feels George smirk at her noises, obviously feeling proud of being the only person to be able to do this to her. He pivots slightly once he’s holding her, placing Y/N on the counter next to the sink so they’re finally level to kiss comfortably. 

He keeps his spot between her legs, refusing to detach his lips from hers, his hands crawling from her thighs to tightly grasp her hips. If it was any other day, Y/N would’ve said something, telling him to be careful of bruises but right now, after watching him flirt with the girl out in the bar for hours on end, there’s nothing she wants, no needs, more than George marking her in every way he can. 

“Mine,” she moans without thinking, as his lips leave hers, slowly making their way across her jaw and onto her neck once again, licking, biting, sucking. George has always loved her neck and he knows how much she loves having her neck touched. “You’re mine,” she repeats when George doesn’t immediately push her away, and she doesn’t even have time to decide to panic before she hears a groan in her ear.

“Yours,” he whispers, his hot breath causing goosebumps to prickle along her skin. The words don’t even process in her brain before she feels George pull away from her. The lack of contact makes her whine, she never wants to be far away from George ever again but he smiles, presses the most gentle kiss on her lips before looking her directly in her eyes, “I’m yours.” 

Her heart stops, she never thought for a second she’d hear George mutter those words, let alone in a dingey, small bathroom of a bar in Central London, but here it is. “Don’t play with me, Georgie,” she whispers. From her spot on the counter, she can look him directly in the eyes; his cheeks are flushed red, his pupils are blown, lips swollen and red. His hair has gotten messy from her pulling at it but she can’t bring herself to feel bad that she ruined his perfectly styled hair because at this moment, she thinks this is the most beautiful she’s ever seen him, so vulnerable and the look of adoration in his eyes fills her chest with hope. 

“Would I ever play with you, darling?” He asks, his words are sincere and she knows it. It’s soft, reminiscent of all those times he’s looked after her after having sex, when he promises to look after her, always. 

“I’d hope not, I was having fun with…” She trails off, realising she never caught his name before she starts laughing. She feels George’s hands tighten against her thighs, hyperaware of his touch on her skin and she grabs one of his hands. “I didn’t actually know his name. I was pretending he was you.”

She says it so softly she wouldn’t be shocked if he missed it, but he didn’t. He hangs to every word she says, he always does and when he smiles, Y/N feels herself relax. “I was using Bianca to make you jealous,” he admits, laughing to himself. He knew the pair of them were being stupid, that they could have just talked but the fear of rejection clearly got the best of both of them. 

“I’ve liked you for so long, and maybe I shouldn't have put friends with benefits on the table knowing that, but I needed you.” He’s never spoken truer words, his left hand leaving her thigh and gently caressing her cheek. Her makeups smudged from both the sweat from dancing and the desperation from not even five minutes ago, her hairs messy and her lips are swollen just as much as his but he wants to take her home, right this second, and show her in so many ways how much he loves her.

“I like you, too.” 

His eyes prick up at her words and he didn’t realise he wasn’t holding eye contact until now. She takes her own left hand and mirrors George’s action on himself; hoping to convey everything she’s felt for him through nothing but looks. “I had to back away last week, I thought I had to get over you. Angie said some dumb shit and I started to overthink and I’m so-”

He cuts her off with a kiss and it’s so different to their usual ones. It’s soft and gentle like they could stay here for hours doing nothing but kissing and they’d be perfectly content. George pulls her body closer to his, desperate just to have her near when he pulls away, pressing his forward to hers. “Don’t say sorry, please.” 

She opens her mouth again to speak and that’s when he cuts her off again, with another kiss. This happens a few times before Y/N is a giggling mess and George is just kissing her for the sake of having their lips pressed together. “We know now, that’s all I care about.” 

This makes her smile and her heart soar; the boy she’s loved for so long, liking her back once felt like it could only be a dream, and she has to pinch herself multiple times before she finally believes it’s her reality.

They soon realise they’ve been standing in this dirty, bar bathroom for way too long and George helps her down, grabbing her by the hips to stabilise her when her legs slightly give out. He takes her hand in his, softly kissing her knuckles before he opens the bathroom door to sneak out. “My place or yours?” he asks, but he quickly stops, “I’m not expecting to fuck, but like I mean if it happens it happens but- Godric, we can just hang out I’m happy with that unless you want to fuck-”

Y/N’s giggling at his stumbling around on words and she shushes him slightly, his face going bright red when she's the one leaning to press a chaste kiss to his lips. His face is bright red when she speaks, “My place. I live alone.” she winks and runs off after saying this, George hot on her tails and even though there’s music and George’s favourite song is playing, Y/N’s laugh as he chases her out of the bar is his favourite noise. 

[lenissa]

You always meet twice (Wanda Maximoff x Romanoff!Reader)

(not my GIF)

Masterlist

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Reader, Pietro Maximoff x Reader (Past), Natasha Romanoff x Reader (Siblings)

Warnings: cursing, i think that‘s it?

Summary: When your sister Natasha asked you to be her representative at the Avengers, you immediately agreed. But then you meet Wanda Maximoff again and it seems like your shared past comes up as well as the then developed feelings.

Word Count: 3.1K

In bold are flashbacks.

A/N: This story is based on my POV i started some months ago, but the plot varies most of the time. Keep in mind that this is my first story and please be nice hahaha

Good reading!

——————————————————————————

You are walking through the halls of the Avenger‘s compound. Although your sister always talks about them, “her new family“, you have never met them before. At least not all of them. Some agents throw judgy glances at you, but you decide to ignore them - you are (Y/N) Romanoff, you’re not in need of being popular, being friendly, you’re a damn skilled agent, always ready to kick asses. That’s also why it didn‘t bother you when Natasha, your older sister, called and asked you for a favour - rather, you have always been curious what it is like to be an Avenger, so you didn‘t even think twice about accepting her offer of being her stand-in for some months.

Are you confident? Yes. Well... you try to be? Maybe- no definitely: it became a coping mechanism. But nobody could blame you… being Natasha Romanoff‘s sister sucks. Don‘t get it wrong, you love your sister with your whole heart, she is your one and only, your tower of strength. But constantly being overshadowed by her? Once people hear about your famous relative you were only seen as her sister, your own persona and personality weren‘t interesting anymore. As a result, you were working for S.H.I.E.L.D in an outpost in Europe, distant enough to start your own life, own career and only hearing about one Romanoff, (Y/N) Romanoff.

You stand before the door of the meeting room, aware of as soon as you go in there, there‘ll be no going back. Surprisingly calm you take one final breath before you knock and get invited in. There they are. The Avengers. Some of them you already know: Clint aka Hawkeye, your sister‘s best friend, Steve aka Captain America, your sister‘s ex-lover, Tony Stark aka Iron Man, sarcasm in person, and… the Maximoff Twins? Seeing them, seeing her, it literally took your breath away. You freeze, not able to breathe, to react nor to say anything.

„(Y/N),my god, have you grown?!“, Clint breaks the silence while coming near to hug you. In his arms you finally release the breath you unconsciously were holding in, and when you pull back you take a closer look at him.

„You‘re becoming grey, Legolas, are the kids that bad?“, you tease, matching his tone and patting his arm lightly.

„Oh dear, it just makes me nervous to see you again“, he jokes as he motions you to sit down.

„Speaking about that, it‘s nice to see you again, (Y/N).“ Steve nods at you and you force a smile - you think Steve is a nice guy, you really do, but you don‘t know the exact circumstances of his break-up with Nat, so you decide to keep distance in a friendly manner.

The remaining time of the meeting nothing special happens, though every time you look around the table you can‘t help but rest your eyes on a certain brunette. And it seems like she notices your gaze, meeting your eyes on and off. You try to ignore the uncomfortable feeling that sets in your stomach whenever her green eyes meet yours, and obviously you are not able to hold the eye contact, so you always look at the floor quickly.

After the meeting the heroes all pop off, only you stay to put away the new equipment and gear you got. But then suddenly a well-known voice speaks up and you startle.

„Already forgot me, (Y/N)?“ You turn around, your heart racing.

„How could I forget the Wanda Maximoff?“, you nervously chuckle.

„I must say I‘m disappointed, I at least expected a greeting.“

„Wanda I-„

„(Y/N)! How long has it been? I…“, Pietro speeds in the room and rubs his neck tense, „I missed you.“

Wanda wheezes and rolls her eyes. „I‘m gonna leave you lovebirds alone“. She walks out of the room before you can say anything more.

„Well that was… weird.“ you say as you turn completely to Pietro.

„She‘s going through a hard time, she will be gentler soon.“

„You think so?“, you laugh, „define soon.“

Pietro chuckles and doesn‘t answer, not even he sees through Wanda‘s feelings, especially when it‘s about you. „Come on, I will introduce you to the others.“

——————————————————————————

Pietro took you to the living room and you have to say, you never thought the Avengers, the world‘s mightiest heroes, would be so endearing. You can finally understand why Nat sees them as her family, even after only spending some hours with them you start to let them in your heart immediately. Until Bucky decided to bring up a sensitive topic.

„From where do you know the twins, (Y/N)?“

You choke on the soda you are drinking, completely caught off-guard with that question. But after clearing your throat your coping mechanism once again appears. „They didn‘t tell you, huh? Well, we had a past.“, you chuckle.

Tony rolls his eyes, annoyed by the childish behaviour, but it makes you smile even bigger. Pietro blushes at the sudden mention of him and tries to distract. „(Y/n), why don‘t you tell them about your powers?“.

„Ok, ok… I'm pretty good at Teleportation, mind manipulation and shape shifting objects.“

Bruce, who you learnt was the human version of the Hulk, was stunned. „Wow, that sounds like a nice substitute for Natasha.“ You smile at him appreciating.

„So Romanoff, since the only other mind stuffy person in this house seems to be pissed, you’ll start training with Rogers.“ Tony announced bugged.

„Can‘t wait.“ You and Steve get up to go to the gym and the rest starts talking about their new member.

„She seems like a faithful person. A true Romanoff.“, Bucky states.

„Ironically, she‘s really good at betrayal and hurting people.“, Wanda says snippy as she walks in to get a snack.

Pietro sighs, „Wanda, what the hell?“

„She‘s not as perfect as you think, Romeo.“

Tony claps to get their attention, „Concentration, guys! You better clear up, Wanda, I just got Information from Fury, you and y/n will be a team in tomorrow‘s mission.“ Wanda rolls her eyes in annoyance, but she knows that it‘s unnecessary to protest.

——————————————————————————

During training, all you thought of was Wanda. Then you tried to read, sleep, watch tv, but nothing could distract you from thinking about the Sokovian. It felt like all the feelings you tried to suppress this past year flood you now at the same time. You barely perceived that you got up, your feet carrying you to the kitchen. Standing in front of the kitchen door you finally wake up from your trance. Your hands are sweaty and shaky, your heart pounding. “What the hell am I doing here?“ You think and just before you turn around the door opens, hitting your shoulder lightly.

„Oh my god, I didn't see you, are you ok?“

„Don‘t worry, I‘m fine. I- I was about to leave anyway.“ 

„But you haven’t even been in there yet, (Y/N).“ The way she says your name releases a cluster of butterflies in your stomach, green eyes watching you amused. „I‘m sorry.“

„Really, it‘s fine. Wanda, list-“

„Don‘t, (Y/N). We don‘t have to do this.“, Wanda sighs.

You take a deep breath and continue, „No, I have to. I am sorry. For everything. I-...I miss you.“

„(Y/N), please, sto-“, she says almost whispering.

„As a friend. I miss my best friend.“

You notice slightly tears forming in her eyes. „You did this to me-“

„(Y/n)! We need you to show us your powers!“ Bucky shouts excitedly as he approaches you both.

„Bucky, now is really not the time to-“

„We need it. For the plan. You know, tomorrow‘s mission?“

You clench your fists and sigh, you know the private moment you just had was ruined. With one apologetic look to Wanda you follow Bucky to the meeting room.

This job will be your end.

——————————————————————————

You weren‘t wrong about this job being your end. Well at least the circumstances. Last night’s events were just... crazy.

After showing the team your powers you went straight to bed, exhausted from all the physical training and psychological stress. When you heard the knocking on the door, you‘re surprised to see Pietro standing there after opening it.

„(Y/N), I think we should talk.“

„Pietro, i-...“, you sigh, „today‘s really not my day. Can we wait until tomorrow?“

„I can‘t wait. Please. I need to get this out.“

„Oookay, go on then, i guess.“, you say, kinda annoyed by the pushiness of the Sokovian.

„I‘m glad that you are here and ok.“

„So am I...“ you laugh humorlessly, „it certainly feels nice to know someone here that doesn‘t completely hate me“ Pietro looks you in the eyes and slowly comes closer. Your breath hitches and you gulp hard when he takes your hand.

„Pietro, what are you doi-“ Before you can finish the sentence, lips are pressed on yours. You are shocked by the action, and you hesitate to kiss back. Yet you can’t resist the familiar feeling of his lips caressing your own, so you kiss back.

„(Y/N), we need to...“, Wanda says approaching your floor but when she sees you both, she immediately freezes„...talk.“

The second you hear her talking you pull back and step away from Pietro. The brunette looks at you incredulously and then walks away.

„Wanda. Wanda!“ you shout while running after her. „Wanda, would you please stop eloping!“ She stops and turns around, eyes burning red. She‘s furious, dangerous, not in control of herself.

„Wanda, use your words. Calm do-“

——————————————————————————

She did not calm down. In fact, she threw you against the closest wall. Even though you don’t have any serious injuries, you are mad. If you were trying to find the courage to talk to her, she could use her words too, right? The morning was quiet, too quiet if you are honest. Each time the door to the gym opened you startled, expecting to get yelled at. But it never happened. Once the twins walked in, they ignored you. Both of them, though Pietro occasionally glanced confused at you. After debating whether you should talk to her or not, you decided to walk up to her and confront her. „What the hell was that yesterday, Wanda?!“

She just huffs and continues to hit the punching bag, but you are determined to talk about it before going on a mission with her, you couldn‘t risk being distracted.

„You‘re acting like a bitch, I don‘t even recognize you anymore“, you say incredulously.

She aggressively turns around. „I am the bitch? You‘re the one that throws herself at anyone, not being here for even a whole day!“

„He“, you point at Pietro, „ he fucking kissed me! I never wanted it to happen. He caught me off-guard!“

„Oh and of course you couldn‘t defend yourself, poor (Y/N).“ Wanda ironically retorts, pushing you against your shoulder.

„Guys-“

„You literally came in one second after he kissed me-“

„GUYS!“ Pietro shouts and both of you turn to him, not noticing that he’s still in the same room. „What the hell is going on with you two?“

„You know what? What the hell Pietro, too! You can‘t just kiss me after not seeing me for a year! What if I don‘t like you anymore?“

„You don‘t like me anymore?“

„You don‘t like him anymore?“

You sigh. „Yes. No. I mean…. I don't like you anymore like that. I- I like you as a friend, Pietro. After you flew from Hydra-“

„-alone-“, Wanda interjects.

„After you flew from Hydra alone, it broke my heart! You freaking left us there!“

Wanda scowls. „And then you did the same to me some time later.“

„Wanda I-... You think it was easy for me to just leave you behind? Fuck, Wanda, do you really think that low of me? When Nat rescued me I tried to convince her to take you with us but she… we… you...“

„Say it, (Y/N). I was the enemy. You were the poor agent, kidnapped by Hydra and experimented on and I was the maniac that volunteered for a dangerous organization.“

„I tried to come back and get you!“

„Don't lie to me, (Y/N).“

„Oh my god“, you huff, „believe me for once!“

„Why should i?!“

„Because I love you!“

O oh.

You both tense, green eyes filled with rage, jealousy, confusion, probably every emotion there is, staring wide at you. You all stand there in silence, all shocked by your outburst, and the only thing that can be heard is your shaky breathing. „Shit. I- I need to go“, you mumble as you storm out of the room embarrassed.

——————————————————————————

This was not going well. Your relationship with Wanda was already complicated enough and your dumb, unplanned love confession didn’t really help. However, you needed to suck it up, ignore all the overthinking in your mind. You are here for a reason. A job. Not a witch.

You are here for the missions. For Nat.

That’s what you tell yourself all the time. But your brain and your heart don‘t really agree, especially while being on a mission with Wanda. You have never been more thankful for your powers that were blocking her out from reading your mind, you were sure your thoughts were literally screaming at her. And gee, you know her too well, she was trying to read your mind - Wanda always has that certain concentrated cute gaze and slight wrinkles between her eyebrows when she does it. Studying her so precisely was a mistake, it made the whole thing even more uncomfortable.

She didn’t react to what you said earlier (not that you gave her that much chance), she acted like you never said anything important like that. But when she caught you staring at her she raised her eyebrows challengingly and broke the silence.

“Are you nervous?”

“Hmm? Oh well, no. I- I guess we had more difficult missions.”, you give her a shy smile and start playing with your fingers nervously.

“Sure.. That’s why you’re currently doing one of your habits when you’re nervous.`` Wanda teases.

You blushed, your cheeks turning faint red. “Let’s just do this'', you say, stepping out of the jet and putting in the comm - earpiece.

Your task wasn’t hard. Go in, kill the enemies, destroy the data, walk out. It was going well until you saw Wanda getting attacked from behind. But before the agent could point his gun at her and hurt her you shut your eyes close and focused on turning his gun into a flower.

“Romantic!”

“You’re welcome”, you playfully roll your eyes. You curse yourself for having no other - less with love connected - idea to use. You scream just before a grenade goes up next to you, throwing you through a glass door. You can’t use your teleportation in time and the impact is pretty hard, causing you to pass out.

Wanda turns after hearing your scream. “Shit, shit, shit Romanoff!”, she activates her comms, “Guys, pick us up, (Y/N) is down!” She stands protectively next to your unconscious body, defending you from getting attacked or worse.

— — —

You wake up in the medical wing of the Avengers. The first thing you notice is that you’re still wearing your suit, so the injury couldn‘t be that bad. At least you thought. Only seconds later you feel the banging in your head, ringing sounds in your ears. You bury your face in the pillow, frustrated of being new and your first mission already gone wrong. You could hear them teasing you for being the “weaker” Romanoff and start rethinking the choice to even get on this team.

And then Wanda walks in and all thoughts are gone. No more noises, no hammering - all senses preoccupied with her. She seems tired, still wearing her suit as well, and exhausted.

“Hi.”

“Hey.” You look at her curious. “You look tired.”

She chuckles lightly. “You pass out and the first thing you comment is how I look? Wow.”

“What can I say, you really make me concentrate on other things than my condition.” She looks confused at your statement, though an amused smile on her lips. “Because you’re a known face- family- and that reminds me of my sister and gives me comfort.”, you stutter complete nonsense.

Did i really just say that?!

You wished she wasn’t standing there, then you would have been able to facepalm yourself as hard as you could.

“Oh, eh, sure. I’m tired, you were right. You were unconscious the whole night. I stayed, I thought it would be nice for you to not wake up alone.” She tries to overplay your weird comment.

“The whole night? Holy shit. I was unconscious for that long i-”, you feel your whole body tingling as you just now realize her purpose, “that’s very nice of you. Thank you.”

“No, no (Y/N). I owed you that. You saved me...thank you.”

“Wanda Maximoff, you do have manners after all.“ She playfully rolls her eyes on your comment and glances at the floor in embarrassment. „You’re welcome. You would have done the same - I hope?”

She giggles and you can’t help but smile like an idiot at that adorable sound. Then you just stare at each other, both too shy to break the comfortable silence. But then Wanda speaks up again.

“You know I’m-”, she starts fidgeting with her rings, “I’m sorry. For being such a bitch. I.. appreciate what you said… earlier. I guess I was just hurt and frustrated.“

“I know Wanda. Don’t be sorry. You have every right to be mad. It was wrong to expect that we could pretend like nothing happened back there in Sokovia.”

After a short silence Wanda asks, almost in a whisper: “Do- do you regret it?”

“What?! No! Loving you is the best thing that has ever happened to me. As a friend. But also more.”, you shake your head as if to underline your sentence and the last part of the sentence coming out almost inaudible, but she still hears it.

Wanda says nothing, she just nodds. But then she slowly moves her hand to your own and takes it. Ignoring the butterflies spreading all over your body, you squeeze her hand, happy you both stopped fighting. You shuffle to the edge of the sickbed and pat to the free place next to you. The Sokovian hesitantly moves next to you, but as soon as she feels your warm body next to her, she gives in and relaxes. You both lie there, just enjoying each other’s presence, until Wanda’s eyes start to get heavier and heavier and she eventually drives off to sleep. And seeing her, the girl you love, in this peaceful state relaxes you as well and you can’t fight falling asleep with the calming sound of her steady breathing next to you.

——————————————————————————

Part 2

[underneaththe-waterfall]

Good Boy

Summary: Its your birthday and Yugyeom surprises you with a special gift. Your gift is a half naked Yugyeom cuffed to the bed. It was up to you, you could do whatever you wanted to do to him.

It was your birthday and as usual Yugyeom couldn’t think of what to give you. He asked everyone ,and by everyone he means a few of your close friends. They all suggested that he got you jewelry or something meaningful for the both of you but yugyeom thought that their ideas were to common. Then, an amazing idea led him to what he actually ended up doing. He was going to be your good boy for your birthday. 

He carried the hand cuffs and a blindfold to the room , both which were usually used on you. Yugyeom had always wanted to know what it felt like to be controlled since he had always been the dom in your relationship. Although he would always deny your requests to dominate him, it was actually one of his fantasies that would make him wake up in cold sweat in the middle of the night when you weren’t there. 

He took off all his clothing except his boxers and laid of the bed , facing the ceiling. He placed the black lace blindfold on the bedside table as he wanted you to be able to choose if he can see what your doing. He then took the handcuffs and put them on his wrist and then looping them over the headboard. The handcuffs felt tight on his wrists and he looked up to see they were already leaving marks .He heard the click as his arms where locked into place above his head. 

Yugyeom laid there anticipating your arrival. It was nearly time for you to get back home. He had let you celebrate all day with your friends and now finally you both were about to get some very needed alone time.Just thinking about everything you would do to him once you were here was turning him on.As he laid there in silence waiting for your arrival his thoughts went wild.

Yuyeom snapped back to reality after a while and looked at the clock. He had been waiting now for 10 minutes .He suddenly got the urge to scrap all this and fuck you until sunlight as a punishment for making him wait. It was too late for that now though. His hands were cuffed above his head and you would now be arriving any minute. 

After a few minutes of staring into space Yugyeom heard chatter and laughter at the front door. A few moor seconds and he heard the sound of your heels as you approached the room. 

YN POV 

You slowly twisted the knob of the door thinking Yugyeom had gone to sleep. You surely didnt expect what you saw when you opened the door. In front of you was Yugyeom sprawled out across the bed his arms cuffed to the bed over his head. His legs where open and you could see the needy look on his face. His cheeks were covered in a pink blush and you could see his faint abs coved in a thin layer of sweat. He looked like something straight out of a porn magazine. 

You stood there for a few seconds too shocked to speak. You stood there waiting for him to say something, anything. But he remained silent maintaining the strong eye contact between the two of you. You put down the bags of presents your friends bought you at the door and you walked towards him now finally understanding what was going on. He wanted you to dom. You had bought up the topic before but Yugyeom always dismissed it saying your too much of a sub to even think about it. Maybe this was the prefect chance for you to prove him wrong.

You stood next to the bed and without you realising your hands traced over Yugyeoms face and he closed his eyes at your touch. When your thumb grazed over his bottom lip he finally spoke in almost a whisper .

”Happy birthday.”

 You didn’t respond but instead continued to look at him. Your own fantasies began playing out in your head and you began wondering about all the dirty things you could do to Yugyeom. You imagined him laying there helpless relying on you and only you to provide him pleasure and begging you for release.

This situation deffinately excited you and you couldnt wait for the night to continue. Knowing that Yugyeom would usually never let you dom , you wanted to know what had gotten into him. You wanted to hear him say it.

”Whats all this”

You say now trying to look unimpressed. You knew how to mess with him. walking away from the bed you took your coat and sitting on the desk looking back at Yugyeom. He looked confused as he spoke, 

“This is my present for you”

He says looking away from yours eyes now feeling insecure. Was his idea just dumb? Of course you would want something nice. Not a half naked Yugyeom on your bed. You probably wanted a ring or- Yugyeoms thoughts were interrupted by you saying,

“I see, are you going to be a good boy for me then?”

You looked at him with a smirk. Now was not the time for you to act shy. The roles where reversed and after all, you should enjoy the birthday present Yugyeom had given you.  

You slowly began stripping and Yugyeom watch you intently as he folded his hands into fists. He was always the one to undress you and he wasn’t used to anything different. You were now just in your black lace bra and panties and you wore them especially for him. But this was not how you thought things would turn out, not that you minded. You looked back at Yugyeom and you could see he was trying his hardest to control himself. Just as he was about to speak you cut him off , 

“No speaking unless I say so.” 

Yugyeom nodded somewhat timidly and you could see how nervous he was. You walked towards him and straight away something caught your attention. You could see the imprint of his cock in his black boxers and he was rock hard. You looked back at him and he had a slight blush covering his cheeks. This was probably the first time you had seen Yugyeom so shy. You liked it. 

“Tell me what you want. Say it or I wont do anything.” 

You say in an attempted harsh tone .He looked up at you and gulped clearly not being able to see through your act.

” Please touch me .”

He said it so quietly you almost didn’t hear him. 

”You can do better then that” 

You say now moving your hands to your sides making sure your not touching him. 

You didn’t expect Yugyeom to give in so easily and looked at him surprised as he moved around a little a whine leaving his lips.

”Please touch me , I wanna come sooo bad please please noona-.” 

Hearing him say noona always done something to you. He knew that. Even though you were a few months older then Yugyeom, you never insisted that he calls you noona as he said he finds it embarassing.He complained that his hyungs would make fun of him saying he has a noona kink. You usually wouldnt mind but Yugyeom knew that you loved the name and of course he would use it against you in this situation. 

There were now beads of sweat forming on his forehead and he looked so deprived you almost felt bad. You moved your hand to his covered member slowly dragging your index finger along his length. Yugyeom shuffled a little as he bit his lips. He wasnt going to lose pride behind this. He tried his best not to move as you dragged your fingers along his clothed dick. He couldn’t hold in a moan as you used your thumb and index finger to squeeze the head of his dick and lean his head back even more closing his eyes tightly. 

You enjoyed seeing him like this. He had to rely on you giving him pleasure and only you. You smiled at the thought and began pulling down his boxers until they were completely off. You bent down slightly so your mouth was near Yugyeoms dick and you could already see him twitching. You stuck your tongue out and licked the head of his cock slightly. You heard him hiss at the contact, closing his eyes tightly waiting for you to do something.

You licked his cock from the underside feeling his vein on your tongue as you reached the tip.

 “Ah please stop teasing”

You heard Yugyeom barely moan out and you replied by slipping his whole dick into your mouth until the tip hit the back of your throat. You were used to the size of Yugyeoms dick so without hesitating you began to move your head up and down his shaft until your nose touched his pubic hairs. You could see the look of pleasure and bliss on his face as you continued to suck on his cock. 

He looked at the way you were sucking his dick and it made him want to pull you by your hair and face fuck you. Your eyes were wide open glazed with tears and you had spit dripping down the corners of your mouth. Finally taking his gaze off you, he closed his eyes enjoying the feeling as you swallowed around his dick. You could feel Yugyeom twitching in your mouth and you wanted nothing more then to taste his cum. But there was no way you would let Yugyeom cum so easily. You had learnt a few tricks from him over the years.

You continued to suck his dick until you felt the tremble of his thighs under your hands. You could taste his salty precum coming out and it wouldn’t be long before he would cum. As his dick hit the back of your throat for the last time you completely removed him from your mouth. A string of saliva was connecting your mouth with his cock and your lips looked shiny and swollen. Yugyeom swore that if his hands were not cuffed right now he would kiss you for hours.

For now though he frowned and let out a whine. He wanted to cum so bad but as soon as he was about to you stopped. You looked up and could see unshed tears in his eyes. You had no idea Yugyeom was so sensitive. You chuckled to yourself as you stood back up scanning the room. Yugyeom watched you intently as your eyes landed on the lace blindfold. You walked over to the other side of the bed where the blindfold was placed on the bed side table. 

“The whole time I was gone you were really preparing everything”

You say while touching yugyeoms hair as he looked down submissively.

”So do you want to wear this?” 

You ask holding the black silk blindfold in your hands waiting for him to repond. He stayed silent for a moment clearly trying to make a decision.

”Yes” 

Wordlessly you walked towards him on the bed signalling him to raise his head so you could put the blindfold on .He closed his eyes as you placed the lace material on his eyes and tied it tightly behind his head. Now Yugyeom was completely under your control. His hair was now slightly wet from sweat and some strands were sticking on his forehead. His hands were still in place above his head and you could see the now dark red marks on his wrists where the cuffs were. A pang of guilt ran through you as your hand automatically began caressing yugyeoms wrist .He responded with a hiss which he tried to hide quickly. Of course the cuffs would be too small for Yugyeom. They even felt tight on you sometimes. Just as the thought of removing them came in your head, Yugyeom spoke intterupting your thoughts. 

”I want to keep them on.”

You didn’t want to argue with that. Your eyes travelled to his semi hard cock and you could see precum leaking from his red tip. You were getting impatient yourself now and by watching Yugyeom in the state he was right now you were shocked that you had been able to control yourself for so long. You straddled him and instantly began to brush his hair out his face admiring him. 

”God ,your so beautiful”

 You say looking at his red swollen lips which Yugyeom had clearly bitten too much. Instantly you placed your lips on top of his trying to devour him straight away. You didn’t even know yourself that you had wanted this for so long. 

Yugyeom moaned in the kiss as you unconsiously began grinding on his hard cock. You heard the chains of the cuffs rattle as Yugyeom moved his hands not being able to resist touching you. He tilted his head up holding back a moan as you continued to grind down harder on his member. This was torture and Yugyeom was beginning to regret his plan. He wished he could just bend you over and rail into you as you screamed his name. Too consumed in his thoughts. Yugyeom didn’t even realised that you had now gotten up from his lap and were removing your panties but leaving your bra on. 

He stayed still and you could see his chest moving rapidly as he breathed in and out. He looked so drained and you were feeling the same yourself. Now that you were just wearing your bra, you straddled him and he let out a moan at the feeling of your wetness and your warm skin. You kissed him sucking on his bottom lip and he let out a groan as he once again adjusted his hands in the cuffs. 

“please~” 

He said in defeat not being able to wait a second longer.

You moved forward a little lining his now extremely hard cock with your hole only letting the tip in. You both let out a moan at the feeling of satisfaction that ran through both your bodies. You breathed heavily as you slid the rest of him inside you. You stayed still for a few moments enjoying the feeling of being full but the silence was broken by Yugyeoms groaning and he was already beginning to move underneath you. He planted his feet in the bed so he could thrust up into your heat. You were far too gone to stop him your own desperation clouding your thoughts. 

You wanted to see him as he fucked you.Your hands automatically reached for the back of his lace blindfold taking it of with a single pull. Yugyeom looked at you with his blown out eyes and flushed cheeks. He looked so desperate and needy. At that moment you realised you couldn’t do this whole dominant thing. You needed his hands caressing you. Touching every inch of your body whilst he was inside of you. You reached up and opened he handcuffs and immediately Yugyeom moved down his arms wincing.

His hands then flew to your hips holding on to you tight as he fucked up into your heat. You breathed heavily and put your forehead onto his shoulder letting out occasional whines when he sped up or hit a spot.

”There was I thinking you could dominate me”

Yugyeom whispered in your ear and even though you couldn’t see him you knew he was smiling. His submissive act had now completely slipped away. You were about to respond with something just as witty but the second you opened your mouth you felt Yugyeoms hands reach behind you opening your bra releasing your breasts.

He began fondling your breasts whilst slowing down his pace. You felt like you were so close and yet he was slowing down. You let out a moan along with 

“Agh move faster please.”

He didn’t reply and continued to mark your breast and now his cock was barely even moving .He was now just inside you still as you moaned at the feeling of him kissing and sucking on your breasts.

”Please , please fuck me” 

You say tears falling from your eyes from need and want. 

“If you want it that bad then ,fuck yourself on my cock” 

He said whilst taking your hands and cuffing your wrists with the hand cuff that was on you previously. You complied waiting until the cuffs were locked in place and you began moving. You rolled your hips into his moving as fast as you could. Your thighs were starting to burn but you couldn’t stop. You were so close. 

Yugyeom watched you as you bounced on his cock with all the strength you had as sweat was forming on your entire body. He kept his hands lightly on your hips as you done all the work. You continued at a fast pace getting closer out of feeling Yugyeoms eyes on you. You were soo close to cumming that you closed your eyes and faced up in bliss trying to reach your orgasm .He continued to watch you not moving a inch and not long after he saw you come undone. You let out moans and Yugyeoms name until you couldn’t hold yourself up anymore leaning against him breathing heavily.  

He pulled you closer to himself as you tried to calm down .He slipped of the handcuffs from your arm and placing them on the bedside table. After a few moments of silence you looked up at Yugyeom and he looked back at you in adoration. Like you were a piece of gold or a monument .But you were thinking about something else.

”You haven’t cum yet” 

You say now feeling slightly guilty for only caring about your release.

”Todays all about you” 

Yugyeom replied pulling you closer again and you smiled putting your head on his chest. 

“Lets go to sleep” 

He spoke after yawning after a while of just sitting there in each others embrace. You hummed getting up as Yugyeoms now softened dick slipped out of you. You ignored the sensation in your lower body and the ache in your thighs as you laid down next to Yugyeom. He instantly pulled you back and spooned you. 

After a few moments you heard soft snoring behind you and smiled. This was definitely the best birthday you had ever had.

MASTERLIST

SORRY FOR ANY ERRORS

[tothemeadow]

Can I make a request for tokito and inosuke being in poly relationship with a dom female and having a mommy kink along with a lactation kink if possibly

huehuehue I finally wrote this 😏

‘milky’ / Muichiro x Reader x Inosuke

warnings: NSFW, threesome, breast fucking, handjobs, sharing is caring bby

words: 2,445

(a/n): both boys are 18+ in this!

-

Power and control.

The two things you strive for in life; the forbidden fruit of being a woman. It’s what you so desperately desire, putting people in their place and making a name for yourself. It’s a man’s world, after all – it’s so full of bullshit.

You think this is what lead you to becoming a dominant in the first place. You found joy in this seemingly unbreakable state. You could do as you please and release all the pent-up energy and anger held in your system. The club you joined – La Rose Noire – allowed you to fulfill these wishes, these so-called taboo desires.

In fact, it’s the very place where you met your lovers.

Yes, lovers, plural all the way. Why have one when you can settle for two?

Hashibira Inosuke and Tokito Muichiro; both delightfully submissive boys, prettier than flowers and swans combined. Their mere beauty is ethereal, devastatingly so, but their attitudes are on a whole other level. Although the two are leagues different when it comes to personalities, they balance each other out in a way that simple words cannot begin to explain. And, as if the icing on the cake, they’re brats through-and-through.

When they first arrived at La Rose Noire, you learnt of their dirty little secret – they were lovers, yes, but they couldn’t satisfy one another. They needed someone to step in, take charge. You were lucky enough to be the dominant they chose.

Ever since that first fateful night, they returned again and again, eager to surrender everything to you. Time and time again, you ruined them. Their faces would always been bright red when they left, sweat and saliva clinging to their faces. Your marks covered their bodies – they were barely covered by the thinnest of clothing – as a memorial. They were so irresistibly drawn to you, and you to them. It didn’t take very long to become part of their relationship, to expand it outside of the club and become true, wholesome lovers.

It’s been a solid year or so since then; as of now, the two boys curl by your sides, their dark hair haloing around their pretty faces. Inosuke lies on your breasts, his cheek smushed into the plush mounds. Muichiro, on the other hand, finds solace with your thighs. Your fingers mindlessly card through their hair, brush their bangs away from their delicate features.

Shifting on his side, Inosuke looks to you, his dark lashes fluttering. “It’s cold,” he grunts.

You roll your eyes at him. Although he and Muichiro have different personalities, they’re both so blunt. “Put on a shirt, piggy.” You nod your head at his bare torso. “Maybe you wouldn’t get so cold.”

Muichiro lightly tugs at the hem of your oversized sweater. “Maybe he wants to wear this.” Promptly lifting it up, he ducks his head inside, both his hair and his hot breath tickling the skin of your stomach. “It is much warmer under here.”

“I wanna join!” Inosuke exclaims. Quickly shuffling downwards on the bed, he too shoves his head under your sweater. You have to laugh at the both of them – they really are too cute for you to handle.

The three of you stay like that for some time. They seem comfortable under the material of your sweater, so you let them be. In fact, you think they’re sleeping (you’re about to doze off as well) when you feel the first kiss against your ribs. It’s a small gesture, nothing more than a feathery touch. You think nothing of it.

At first, anyway.

The kisses increase, become more urgent; tongue and teeth soon join in, lapping and nipping at your smooth skin. You almost want to scold Muichiro for ruining the domestic moment, but you don’t have the heart to tell him off. There’s a muffled grunt – Inosuke, you presume – and he quickly joins in on the action. He’s not as gentle as Muichiro initially was, opting to scrape his teeth against you.

As their ascent up your body begins, a nagging voice in the back of your head scolds you for not wearing a bra. However, the monkey side of your brain turns to mush. You choose the latter, a pleased sigh passing through your lips as Inosuke nips at the underside of your breast. A duo pair of hands push your sweater up, bunching it beneath your chin; your nipples pebble at the sudden cold air and a gasp emits from your throat.

Muichiro mewls, his mouth slipping over your breast and promptly sucking a nipple into his mouth. His crystalline eyes latch onto yours, his thick lashes falling low. He frantically sucks on your breast, his tongue flicking over your sensitive nub; you know exactly what he’s trying to do, and you don’t bother holding back a smile. A few months ago, much at a moment like this, your breasts leaked milk for the first time. The boys’ reactions were instantaneous, wicked moans rumbling from their chests as they eagerly drawn out more.

Ever since then, the stimulation to your breasts have been almost constant. They look forward to the days when they can feed from you, their eyes rolling back in their heads at your sweet, creamy taste. Even now, Muichiro’s cheeks hollow as he frantically seeks out that delicious fluid. The wet noises coming from his mouth are loud, distracting. Inosuke grunts.

“Leave some for me,” he says with a pout. He immediately latches onto your other breast, giving it the same attention as Muichiro.

You moan at the sensation, heat spiking in your lower abdomen and swirling around your insides. “Fuck, babies,” you purr, your fingers petting their hair. “That feels good. Keep doing that to Mommy.” Both groan at your words and redouble their efforts.

Inosuke suddenly cries out; his teeth sink into the plushness of your breast, his tongue wildly lapping at your nipple. Ah, so it seems he struck gold first. Muichiro huffs in irritation and fondles your breast, urging it give him what he wants. After a few moments, he lets out a pleased groan, his eyelids falling shut as your warm milk floods his mouth.

“Drink up,” you coo. “Make Mommy feel real good before you fuck her, okay?”

Swinging a leg over yours, Muichiro presses his body close. His growing erection bumps against your hip, causing him to pant around your luscious breast. Your heart kicks in your chest as he grinds his cock into you, desperate little noises filling the room. Inosuke seems to follow suit; you watch as his hand drops down to his crotch and begins to palm himself through the fabric of his sweats.

You click your tongue. “Look at you two,” you say, the honey in your voice melting away, “humping away like dogs in heat. Do you know how pathetic you are?”

Muichiro forces himself off your breast; beads of white spill from your nipple, cling to his bottom lip. The look he flashes you is nothing but sinful. “Please, Mommy,” he begs, his hips picking up their pace. “You taste so good and I can’t help it.”

“Did I tell you to stop?” you say to him. A deep blush fills Muichiro’s face and he hastily shakes his head, quickly reattaching his lips around your breast.

Inosuke’s hand is well down his pants by now, the slick sounds of his cock echoing in your ears.

“Piggy,” you say, your voice hard, “stop touching yourself or Mommy is going to get really angry.”

“Make me,” Inosuke mumbles as he pulls his mouth away. Your pussy clenches around nothing at the fucked-out expression on his face. His eyelashes flutter sultrily as his thumb digs into his slit.

With a growl, you hastily sit up. Both boys fall over, surprised yelps emitting from their throats. You yank Inosuke’s hand out of his pants, ignoring the gleam of precum shining on his fingers. “I’ll put a cockring on you, piggy,” you threaten. “I’ll tie you to the bed and make you watch as I fuck bunny’s brains out.”

Inosuke’s pupils blow wide at your words.

Biting his lip, Muichiro leans over to Inosuke. “You should do it,” he challenges. “You can watch Mommy bounce on my cock.” He giggles, an evil glint coming to his eyes.

“I’ll do the same to you,” you warn him. “I’ll tie the both of you up and leave you hanging while I fuck myself.” You cock an eyebrow at the both of them. “Do I make myself clear?” A chorus of ‘yes, Mommy’ fills your ears. “Good,” you say, that sweet tone of yours making its reappearance, “do you want to keep sucking on Mommy’s tits or fuck her?”

Muichiro squirms on your thigh, the front of his shorts tenting up. “Can I… Can I fuck Mommy’s tits?”

A fat drop of slick pushes its way out of your cunt. “Fuck yes,” you purr. Urging the others away, you hastily tug your sweater up and over your head. The two boys stare at your breasts, hunger evident in their faces as they eye up the beads of milk still sticking to your swollen nipples. “Piggy,” you say to Inosuke. His attention snaps to your face. “Be a good boy and fuck Mommy from behind.”

At the snap of your fingers, the boys do as your told. They hastily rip off their own clothes and then your own; simultaneous groans pass through their lips as they peel your panties off of you, a string of slick sticking to the thin material. Getting onto your hands and knees, Inosuke finds his place behind you, his cock curving against your ass. Muichiro pumps at his own cock, tiny gasps and murmurs of your name filling the air as he spreads precum all over himself.

“Piggy,” you shoot over your shoulder, “be a good boy and help Muichiro out.”

With a swift nod, Inosuke lies himself over your back, his large hands reaching around and pressing your breasts together. His breath shudders against your ear. Muichiro moans at the sight of both of his lovers staring up at him, ready for him to begin. Drawing closer, he presses his cock between your cleavage; his entire body trembles at your soft heat, a delightful mewl slipping between his lips.

“Fuck, that’s hot,” Inosuke grumbles. The head of his cock nudges against your sopping cunt. His hips eagerly grind into you, his cock slipping in inch by inch. “Fuck, Mommy, you’re so tight,” he groans, his forehead landing on your shoulder. He openly gropes your breasts, rolling your nipples between his fingers as Muichiro slides his cock in and out of your cleavage in slow, easy movements.

“I want the both of you two fuck me like you mean it, alright?” you purr.

“Yes,” Muichiro groans. Inosuke merely nods.

“Good,” you say. “Now fuck me.”

Snapping his hips into you, Inosuke’s cock rams itself all the way in to the hilt. You choke on a noise of surprise, but it soon turns into a pleasure moan as he does it again and again. Above you, Muichiro pants, his teeth sunk into the plush flesh of his lower lip as he fucks into your breasts. Their paces find rhythm with one another, the sound of skin hitting skin echoing. You nuzzle into Muichiro’s lower stomach, lapping at the beads of sweat gathering.

“Mommy, your tits are so hot,” Muichiro rambles. “They’re so soft and – unnh – taste so, so good!”

Your velvety walls clench down on Inosuke’s cock at Muichiro’s praise. Inosuke growls into your ear, his thrusts growing harder. You suck him back in with every stroke of his cock; you spit out words of approval, saying how good they’re making their Mommy feel, how heavenly their cocks are. “Such good boys,” you murmur, “fucking yourselves silly with your Mommy. Do my tits really turn you on that much?”

“Yes,” Inosuke groans, “so much. So fucking much.” He whines as more milk spills onto his fingers, leaving them warm and sticky.

Muichiro’s cock twitches at the sight, a breathless whimper bursting from his chest. Your mouth falls open as he removes his cock, ready to ask him what he’s doing, but then he’s smearing your milk all over himself. Inosuke’s hand wraps around him, pumps him furiously. The sight is so hot and you just can’t help yourself; lowering your mouth, your lips and tongue skim over Muichiro’s cock and Inosuke’s fingers. The both of them shudder at your ministrations.

“I don’t think I’m going to last, Mommy,” Inosuke whimpers. “Your pussy is so sweet, just like the rest of you.”

“Neither do I,” Muichiro admits. A loud groan fills your ears as you suck on the head of his cock.

“Do my babies want to cum?” you husk. You nudge Muichiro’s cock with your cheek. “Well, do you? Answer Mommy.” Both of them nod vigorously. A mantra of yes, yes, yes! fill the room, making a smirk come to your face. “Then cum on me, my sweets.”

Inosuke’s hips stutter as he pulls out, his hand leaving Muichiro as he opts to stroke his own cock. Muichiro does the same, his head throwing itself back in pleasure. Thick, hot ropes of cum hit your back and your chest; you praise them through their orgasms, saying how wonderful they were for you.

You choke on your surprise as you’re promptly flipped onto your back. Both men swoop back down, their mouths landing on your breasts once more. They frantically suckle on your nipples, tongues lapping up every drop of milk. Your hands clutch onto the soft stands of their hair. Their names rip themselves out of your throat as their hands drop down to your sopping cunt, their fingers working together to press into your hole while their thumbs rub at your clit. Your walls spasm around them, your eyes rolling back into your head, and you cum with so much force that you’re wildly bucking against them and screaming.

Muichiro pulls back, his eyes entirely clouded with lust. Removing his fingers from your pussy, he shoves them into his mouth, humming at the taste of your slick.

Inosuke peppers kisses all over your chest and up your neck. “Thank you, Mommy,” he murmurs. “Next time, can we both cum in you?”

You glance to Muichiro and he eagerly nods his head.

“Mommy,” he begins, sinking himself onto your thighs, “can you ride my face? You taste so good.”

With a jealous huff, Inosuke also shuffles down to your thighs. “Not if I get to, first!”

You smile at their antics. Oh yeah, you decide, being in charge is fun.

[melanielocke]

Conceal, don't Feel - One

Do you wanna build a snowman?

This is the first chapter of my Frozen Carstairs sibings AU

CW: abuse, toxic relationship, alcoholism

@alastair-esfandiyar-carstairs1 and I both came up with a similar idea separately from each other, so this is a story separate from hers, but if you like this one I recommend you check out Frozen Heart. I’m not yet sure how often I will update, but I’m currently working on chapter 7 and 35.000 words in (chapters are pretty long).

Taglist: @alastaircarstairsdefenselawyer @foxglove-airmid @alastair-esfandiyar-carstairs1 @justanormaldemon @styxdrawings @ipromiseiwillwrite @a-dream-dirty-and-bruised @alastair-appreciation-month @writeordie-4 @amchara

I cannot seem to tag @lightwoodsimp, sorry

Alastair didn’t know where his parents were taking him. It didn’t matter. He would go anywhere, would do anything if it meant she could be saved. It was his fault she’d gotten hurt. He called out to her. Warned her.

‘You’re going too fast. Slow down, Layla!’

It had been too late. Cordelia was hurt. His fault. He’d hurt her, he’d hit her with his ice. His father had been furious, of course. He’d deserved that. His mother had been more gentle, had taken him into her arms and whispered that it was going to be okay. A lie. It wasn’t going to be okay because he’d hurt his sister and that made him a monster. Just like Father had been afraid of.

But Father knew where to go. Father knew how to fix this. A trail of ice followed their horses. Alastair barely noticed it anymore. It would draw attention. It pointed right to him, to his wrongness. Just like he deserved. Alastair didn’t know why he couldn’t control it anymore. He’d been too excited about it, had used it to play and have fun and build snowmen in the middle of the summer. But that was wrong. Ice was wrong and shameful and dangerous. And so was he.

They stopped in a small village hidden at the foot of the North mountain. Alastair had studied the geography of the kingdom many times but did not know there was a village here. He’d heard stories, there were trolls living here. That was why people avoided this place. Alastair would say he was too old to believe in trolls, but he was magic. Who knew what else was out there?

He descended from the horse, hiding behind his mother. He’d always been closer to her than to Father. He trusted her to keep him safe. Not that he deserved her protection.

A man approached. He was a little shorter than Father, with dark hair like Alastair’s, but blue eyes and light skin that was common in Arendelle. Alastair had never seen the man before, who was he? Certainly not a troll. There was a girl around Cordelia’s age behind him, stepping forward curiously to his sister. Cordelia had not woken since Alastair had hurt her.

‘Hello,’ the little girl said. ‘My name is Lucie, who are you?’

‘Lu, I don’t think the princess can hear you right now,’ her father said. ‘Don’t worry, your Majesty, I’ll get my wife. She’ll find out what’s wrong with your daughter.’

The man disappeared into one of the houses, but the little girl remained behind, poking at Cordelia.

‘She’s not going to wake up,’ Alastair said quietly.

His father glared at him, whereas his mother took his hand firmly. ‘Don’t say that, joon-am. Your sister will be fine.’

‘Who are you?’ Lucie asked him.

Alastair frowned. This was part of Arendelle, wasn’t it? How did someone not recognize the king and his family?

‘My name is Alastair,’ he said softly, not meeting the little girl’s gaze.

‘Come, Lu,’ Will said. ‘Tessa and Jem are going to take care of the princess.’

A woman with brown hair kneeled down in front of little Cordelia, a man with dark hair and eyes beside her. He looked familiar, but Alastair wasn’t sure why.

‘Jem, please help my daughter,’ Father pleaded.

‘Of course, uncle,’ Jem said. ‘You and your family are always welcome here, you know that.’

Alastair was confused. Jem was his cousin? But then why had they never met? He knew about the mysterious cousin, of course. His father had been the youngest of two brothers once, his older brother Jonah had been king before him. He’d had a son too, prince James. King Jonah and his wife had died though, and prince James had disappeared, during his father’s regency. When it became clear prince James was gone for good, his father had been crowned king. Alastair had always assumed he must have died. There were rumors king Elias had murdered his nephew so he could claim the throne. Alastair was glad to know those rumors weren’t true. But why had Jem been here all this time?

‘My wife Tessa can heal her,’ Jem continued.

Elias raised an eyebrow. ‘I though she was Will Herondale’s wife.’

‘All three of us love each other,’ Jem said and Alastair was intrigued. ‘Arendelle might not understand, but there is no need to conform to what society wants from us here.’

He’d always been taught love was between a man and his wife. Clearly Jem didn’t think so. He couldn’t find love, he reminded himself. He had his ice, his cold heart. It would be nice, to live here with a love, but that was not his destiny.

‘It is for the best you left, I think,’ Elias said.

‘Don’t be rude, dear,’ his mother said. ‘They can help Cordelia.’

‘There is ice in her head,’ Tessa said. ‘I can remove it, don’t worry. It’s good the magic didn’t reach her heart. A frozen heart is the one curse I cannot break, but the head can be persuaded.’

Alastair wasn’t sure what Tessa was. She was magic, like him, right? How did she know so much about the ice, about the frozen heart? Did that mean there were others like him?

‘Lucie!’ Tessa called.

The little girl sat down beside her mother. ‘Yes, mama?’

‘You want to help, darling?’

‘Of course.’

‘My daughter is the heir to my gift,’ Tessa explained. ‘She will learn in time how to remove ice herself, in case the prince has more accidents. But for now, we’ll do it together.’

Tessa and Lucie both put their hand on Cordelia’s head. Alastair held his breath, this had to work right? Otherwise he would have killed his sister. Alastair knew he was a monster, of course, but he didn’t want his sister to suffer for what he was.

‘I must warn you, there will be a side effect,’ Tessa said. ‘Messing around in her head will affect her memory. I am doing the best I can to contain the effects and limit the memory loss, but she will lose all memory of Alastair’s magic.’

Alastair frowned. ‘So she won’t remember I have powers?’

‘No,’ Tessa said. ‘But when you’re ready, you can explain it to her. I think it might be good to work on your control first and tell Cordelia once you feel secure you won’t hurt her again. Remember, fear is your enemy. You’re always welcome to stay here, with us. People think trolls live here and stay away, you would be safe..’

The offer sounded tempting. Away from his family, from the people he hurt…

‘No,’ his father said. ‘Alastair is the crown prince of Arendelle, he will be king one day. Power or not, he must be prepared for his role. We’ll limit our staff, close the gates to limit his contact with people, so no one will find out and no one else will get hurt. He’ll learn to control it, I’m sure. Besides, your lifestyle would be a bad influence.’

Alastair’s heart sank. Of course, he was prince too. Destined to be king. It didn’t matter what he wanted. Why should a monster like him be king, he wondered, but he knew his father wouldn’t budge on the subject.

Cordelia coughed a little before opening her eyes. ‘What’s happening?’ she said, a little sleep drunk.

‘You’re all better,’ Lucie declared. ‘Although I think you still have a strand of white hair. Otherwise your hair is very pretty.’

Cordelia smiled. ‘Where am I?’

‘My name is Lucie,’ she said. ‘Will you play with me?’

‘Of course,’ Cordelia said. ‘I like making snowmen.’

‘We must go home now,’ Father said sternly.

‘Oh, that’s too bad,’ Lucie said. ‘Will you come another time, then? I’d so love to have another girl my age around. It’s just me and my cousins here and they’re all older than me.’

‘Of course,’ Cordelia said. ‘I’ll play with you.’

‘I think it would be good for us to check on Alastair’s progress regularly,’ Tessa said. ‘It would be unsafe for me to leave this village, so please come here whenever you’re ready, or if you need help.’

In the end, Alastair never returned to the village where his cousin lived. Neither did Cordelia, not even to play with Lucie. A day later, she did not remember what had happened at all. As far as the people of Arendelle knew, that village didn’t exist. Tessa was a witch, after all, and so was her daughter. The people might turn on her, his father had explained. They might turn on him too. And he would deserve that. That’s why he needed to learn control.

‘You’re too sensitive, Esfandiyar,’ his father would say.

He’d learnt a rhyme over the years. Conceal it, don’t feel it. He repeated it to himself whenever he felt too much, whenever he was going to lose control. He’d received a pair of gloves from his father, something he claimed would help him.

It didn’t take long for Father to grow more absent though. Often he was sick. His fault, he was putting too much pressure on the family. All his fault. His thoughts were spiraling as they so often did, out of control as the storm inside. His fingers tingled, ice formed on the floor, on the walls. Conceal, don’t feel, he told himself. That was the only way to control.

When Alastair was eight years old, not long after the incident, his father was interested in how using the sauna would affect him. He’d never been, as he was too young and his mother wasn’t so sure it was safe for him, but his father insisted it was worth a try.

‘It might be the solution to your control problem,’ Elias had said. ‘The sauna could melt the ice.’

Alastair had been scared, but he’d been willing to give it a try. Most humans in Arendelle used a sauna from time to time, so why shouldn’t he?

It had been a nightmare. As soon as the sauna had been turned on and gotten warm, Alastair had started screaming. It was agony, fire burning his skin and everything inside, the ice begging for release.

He couldn’t use magic in here, and it hurt so much.

‘Let me out!’ he’d screamed.

It had taken some time until Father had given up and finally let him out. He wasn’t burnt, there were no signs on his body that he’d suffered. The pain had been real though. He was still so shaken he froze the entire corridor, for which his father had become angry. Later that day, Father had disappeared into his bedchambers with a bottle of a smelly drink.

Alastair would never get into the sauna again. Never. There was ice inside of him, and it didn’t like the heat. Perhaps he should try it, perhaps he should stay for longer and let it burn out the ice inside of him. Perhaps he could be free. But Alastair didn’t dare go inside the sauna again, he never wanted to feel that pain again.

***

Cordelia was lying on the floor of the ballroom. She was sure her mother would hate to find her here, but what else was she supposed to do? She sighed, would there ever be a ball here? There had been balls once, that much she remembered. She and Alastair weren’t allowed to attend yet, but they’d snuck out of bed to watch from the corridor together.

There had been so many people. Nowadays, it was only the staff, her family and Risa, her mother’s lady in waiting. Didn’t her parents understand she wanted someone to play with?

Once she’d played with Alastair almost every day. They would build snowmen and ride a sled and have snowball fights. But that had been a long time ago. Nowadays Alastair would barely acknowledge her. If he spoke at all, it was to tell her to go away and not bother him. He spent most of his time in his bedroom. Cordelia didn’t understand how one person could spend so much time in bed, especially considering he was not sick like Father. Didn’t he want to have something to do? She would play with him all day if only he opened his door.

But Alastair preferred the solitude, it seemed. He rarely even yelled at her to go away anymore. He just pretended she didn’t exist. He was studying to be king now, whereas Cordelia did not have such a responsibility. She guessed he was too mature and grown up for her now and she was just his stupid little sister. It was frustrating.

It had all started so sudden, and Cordelia had never understood why. One day they’d built a snowman together, the next Alastair didn’t even speak to her anymore. He only ever emerged from his room to eat, and to take walks on the palace grounds. Her mother didn’t want her to go there, for she might fall and hurt herself, or rip her dresses. It didn’t make much sense, because she’d followed Alastair from a distance once and there was barely anything to trip over. When Alastair had spotted her, he’d gotten angry and yelled at her to leave him alone, that this was his place, why couldn’t she at least let him have that?

Cordelia guessed her brother didn’t like her anymore.

‘What would you do, Joan?’ she asked.

No response. She wasn’t sure what she’d been expecting. Joan, of course, was a painting in this room, a woman in armor riding a horse. The painting had always fascinated her, because Cordelia wanted to be a warrior too and carry her own sword. It was probably all very improper, a princess talking to a portrait, but what exactly did her parents expect her to do?

Father was sick all the time nowadays, and Cordelia would often sit with him and read him stories. Alastair came in sometimes, glared at both of them, and left. At least her father still cared for her. At least it was something. Even if he mostly ignored her when he wasn’t sick, or talked to her about a potential marriage alliance when she was older. She’d never even met someone around her age, how was she supposed to get married? Her mother didn’t have time for her anymore, she had to take over from father when he was sick and run the kingdom and whatever free time she had left she spend with Alastair.

No one knew what was wrong with Father, and Cordelia worried for him. She vowed to spend as much time with him as possible, to always be there for him, because even if he was sick, he was the only one in her family who still had time for her.

‘If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?’ she asked Joan.

No response.

‘That’s right, me too. Anywhere is better than here.’

***

When Alastair was nine years old, a year after the incident, he’d made little progress on controlling the ice. If anything, it had gotten worse.

‘You’re not trying,’ his father accused him. ‘Do you want to turn your bedroom into a snow landscape? Do you like the cold? Do you like that by freezing the bathroom, you broke all the pipes? It cost a fortune to replace everything, and I couldn’t explain what happened.’

‘I’m sorry, Father,’ Alastair had said, the fear he often felt around his father gripping him.

Would he be locked inside the sauna if he didn’t do better? He was trembling on his feet as his father grabbed his elbow and took him down stairs into an old dungeon.

‘When my brother Jonah was king, he stopped using these dungeons to hold prisoners. He believed keeping people in dark and dirty cells like this was inhumane. But we do not always have the luxury of choice.’

His father showed him to a cell with a pair of cuffs, chained to the floor, designed to fit around his hands. Because that was where the magic came from, that was why the gloves helped.

‘If you cannot control yourself and become a danger to those around you, I will have no choice but to use these. Do you understand?’

Alastair was shaking, snow escaped from his hands and twirled around him. He swallowed. ‘Yes, Father,’ he said weakly.

‘And don’t act so scared,’ his father scolded. ‘With that poison inside of you, you absolutely cannot feel.’

Of course. Conceal, don’t feel. That was the only way to keep it hidden.

That night, Alastair dreamt about the chains in the dungeon, about his hands being bound, his father leaving him there.

‘You’re too dangerous,’ his father said. ‘You must stay here from now on.’

Alastair pulled at the chains, tried to break free, but it was no use. He woke up in the middle of the night, lying in the snow. On his bed, he reminded himself, but everything was covered in snow and ice. He should clean this up, he determined. He did not know how to unfreeze anything, but he could sweep the snow up and outside of the window before Father found out and determined he should be chained in that cell.

He’d considered telling his mother about the cell and the chains and that he was scared, but ultimately decided against it. He was far too scared to find out that when it came to it, she would let it happen. Worse, that she already knew.

***

Alastair was thirteen when his father presented him with the family sword. Legend had it the sword was magic, but the properties of the weapon had been lost over time. No king of Arendelle had ever died in battle while carrying it though, and some speculated the sword watched over them, protected them. Alastair didn’t know what too believe when it came to cortana. He knew his sister wished she could be the one to own the sword, but Alastair knew as future king he was supposed to bear it. He was sure Cordelia could practice with it when he wasn’t using it.

‘Now, Alastair, this is an important part of the Carstairs legacy,’ Elias said. ‘If you can use this sword, you would be protected if people ever learnt of the ice that’s inside your heart.’

That’s what Elias often called it, the ice inside his heart. Don’t feel, Alastair reminded himself. He wasn’t supposed to feel, or he would upset the ice. Elias treated it as something separate from him, a demon that would strike if Alastair didn’t work hard enough. He didn’t think that was right, but didn’t dare say anything.

Elias presented him with the sword. Alastair had never held it before, had only admired it from a distance. He took the hilt in his hand and immediately dropped it, yelping in pain. As soon as the hilt touched him, a pain shot through his hand. His skin was red, blisters were forming where the sword had touched him. He’d sustained burn marks.

His mother came in when she heard him scream and rushed him to the infirmary immediately, where he’d gotten his hand bandaged and lied about what had caused the burn, claiming he’d wanted to help in the kitchen and touched a hot pot. A horrible shame crept over him and gripped his stomach. He was unworthy. He couldn’t even hold cortana. The family sword, the weapon that had been carried by all great kings and queens before him, had chosen to burn him.

***

‘I have a surprise for you, dear,’ her father said with a smile.

It had been ages since Cordelia had seen him so healthy and she was glad he was having a good day. She missed him. She’d wanted to go to his bedroom and read to him, but Alastair had told her she couldn’t. When she’d asked for more information, he’d refused to explain and just said she wouldn’t understand. Alastair often treated her as if she was stupid and did not understand anything, but Father never did.

She didn’t know what to do with her brother anymore. She’d loved him once, that she knew. Part of her still did. But she was fairly certain he didn’t love her anymore. He’d left her all alone. At least he still had her father, even if he was gone so often. It wasn’t his fault he was sick.

‘What is it?’ Cordelia asked.

‘It wouldn’t be a surprise if I told you, now would it?’ Elias said with a chuckle.

Cordelia’s dark eyes went wide as her father showed her to the room where cortana was kept. For years she’d begged to touch the sword, to practice with it. But the sword wasn’t hers. As heir, it belonged to Alastair. Even if he’d never shown interest in it, even if wielding cortana had been Cordelia’s dream for a long time.

‘I’ve discussed with your brother, and we decided that since you are so attached to cortana, it should be yours,’ her father said. ‘You are worthy of the sword.’

Cordelia picked it up. She’d never trained with it, although she did know the basics of swordplay. With nothing else to do, she’d watched the guards train from a distance and had copied their movements. It felt good in her hands, like it fit perfectly and had always belonged to her.

‘Now, a sword is a great responsibility,’ her father said. ‘Cortana has a sharp edge and a dull edge. You can always choose mercy, and that is what the old kings and queens of Arendelle became known for. Remember that.’

Cordelia nodded. ‘Of course. I will not let anyone harm us, but when I defeat my enemy I will always offer mercy.’

***

There was only one other person outside of his family and Tessa’s who knew about Alastair’s powers. It had been an accident, really. Alastair was allowed to go outside onto the palace grounds and practice. Cordelia wasn’t allowed to go there with him, so no one would see if he lost control. It was the only place where he could get some air. But it wasn’t enough, and sometimes the walls of the palace felt suffocating. He longed to get away, to disappear.

So one day, he’d made sure no one saw him and had snuck over the wall. It had been easy, really. He’d built a ladder out of ice. In the summer heat, it would melt and no evidence of his escape would be left behind. He could control the ice inside him when he set his mind to an explicit goal.

Honestly, the problem arose when he felt. Better to freeze his own heart. But he couldn’t help but feel when Father yelled at him, when he drank so much he couldn’t stay awake anymore. It was all his fault, he knew. Father wouldn’t have started drinking if he’d been better, if he had never hurt his sister. But he was a monster and he deserved his father’s anger.

He knew Cordelia hated him. He had accepted it. She would be safe and Alastair would never hurt her again. If that meant she hated him, it would be alright. Tessa had said once he could tell Cordelia about his powers when it was safe again, but Alastair feared it would never be. He had nightmares sometimes and woke up in a snow landscape instead of a bedroom. Sometimes the emotions just became too much.

On the other side of the wall was another forest, and here he could be himself. He would be alone, yes, but Alastair would always be alone. Most of the time he didn’t mind the solitude so much. At least here he wasn’t trapped within those walls.

He just walked, not sure where he was going. He would find his way back to the wall eventually, he told himself. A castle was hard to miss. He didn’t even notice the boy in the woods until he was right behind him.

‘Hello.’

Alastair was startled. He wished he could say he’d responded with some decorum, but that would be a lie. Instead, ice had shot out of his right hand, with which he had been leaning against a tree. He was stuck, frozen against a tree. Great, just his luck.

‘Are you alright?’ the boy asked.

Alastair wished he could have turned around, but his hand was still very much stuck, glove and all. There was only so much the glove did. He still had to control his own emotions. Conceal, don’t feel. He’d broken that rule, and for what?

He finally broke off the chunk of ice from his hand and turned to face the boy. He was around Alastair’s age, with brown hair and hazel eyes. There was a reindeer following him, sniffing Alastair curiously.

‘I’m fine,’ he said between his teeth.

‘Were you born with the powers, or cursed?’ the boy asked curiously.

‘What kind of question is that?’ Alastair bit at him.

‘I’m sorry. That’s what my aunt said is what distinguishes sorcerers. But you don’t have to answer. I just never met someone with magic like yours before. What’s your name?’

Alastair had to think quickly. The boy didn’t recognize him, didn’t know he was the prince. He couldn’t know, because then he would spread his secret and soon the whole kingdom would know the crown prince was a monster with ice in his veins.

‘Esfandiyar,’ he said.

It was his middle name, and a little known fact. It was a name from his mother’s home country, an ancient hero his mother used to tell him stories about. It was one of the few fond memories Alastair had of being young. So much had revolved around his cursed ice.

‘Thomas,’ the boy said, offering his hand. ‘Thomas Lightwood. And this is Sven, my reindeer.’

Alastair smiled weakly, refusing to take the boy’s hand. He knew he had to go home, but he hadn’t spoken to another boy his age in forever. He didn’t want to go.

‘Why are you here in the woods?’ Alastair asked.

‘Oh, I was just on my way home with Sven after delivering my mother’s cakes. I like this part of the woods. I always came here before I was allowed to leave by myself. Why are you here? Is it because of your magic? Are people scared of your ice?’

‘People don’t know,’ Alastair said. ‘And you can’t tell anyone.’

‘I won’t,’ Thomas promised. ‘But your powers seem so awesome. I wish I had powers.’

‘No you don’t,’ Alastair said. ‘No one would want to have ice inside of them. It’s very hard to control, and you can hurt people. Badly.’

Thomas tilted his head. ‘You’re not going to hurt me, are you?’

‘I don’t want to,’ Alastair said. ‘But that does not matter. The ice does what it wants.’

‘I’m not afraid, Esfandiyar,’ Thomas said. ‘That’s a beautiful name, by the way. I wish my name was even half so extraordinary.’

‘I need to go,’ Alastair said, determined.

He would not hurt someone else, he vowed to himself. Conceal, don’t feel. It didn’t matter that Thomas was the first person in years to see him and not be afraid.

‘Will you be here tomorrow?’ Thomas asked. ‘I always take this route after delivering my mother’s cakes. I can meet you around this time every day of the week.’

Against his better judgement, Alastair said yes.

He met Thomas in the woods everyday for nearly two weeks. He didn’t lose control of the ice anymore, not when they were together. Thomas was nice, and liked telling him about his life. He didn’t even seem to mind that Alastair avoided all of his questions. One day, Thomas had baked some extra cakes and shared them with Alastair. It was Alastair’s fifteenth birthday, and although he still hadn’t told Thomas about who he was, he had mentioned that his birthday wouldn’t be celebrated. Cordelia had given up on him a long time ago, and his parents didn’t have the time. It was sweet of Thomas to think of him, the only person who had in years. It was almost better than the cakes themselves. Almost.

‘I really hope my mom won’t find out, but these are the best cakes in the whole world,’ Thomas said. ‘My mother taught me how to make them herself. Well, my cousin Christopher likes the lemon tarts more.’

‘Your parents are both bakers?’ Alastair asked.

‘No, just my mom. My father is on Arendelle’s council, although I don’t think the king listens to him a lot.’

‘Oh, that’s too bad,’ Alastair said.

He wasn’t surprised his father didn’t listen, often he wasn’t even there for meetings. But his mother would, right? She’d always been calmer and gentler than Father. But she wouldn’t go against his father’s wishes.

‘And my uncle Gabriel and aunt Cecily sell ice. They travel to the north mountain and the frozen lakes at winter and cut off ice and transport if back to the city and sell it.’ Thomas smiled. ‘I always wanted to go with them when I’m old enough. But what’s the point of going all the way to the north mountain when you can just conjure ice out of thin air?’

‘Believe it or not, making that journey is probably less dangerous than asking me to supply the world with ice,’ Alastair said.

‘Perhaps,’ Thomas said. ‘But I’m certain there’s a way to control it. I haven’t seen you lose control at all since when we first met and I startled you.’

‘I feel less around you,’ Alastair said. ‘I’m not supposed to feel and at home I do that a lot. But with you, it’s better. I don’t think I feel anything.’

Thomas frowned. ‘Oh,’ he said and Alastair suspected something was wrong.

‘What is it?’

‘I thought you liked spending time with me,’ he said. ‘But now you say you don’t feel anything.’

‘That’s a good thing,’ Alastair insisted. ‘I’m not supposed to feel.’

‘Everyone’s supposed to feel, Esfandiyar,’ Thomas said. ‘If you don’t feel anything when you’re with me… I guess you don’t like my company as much as I thought. Maybe it’s better if I don’t come back.’

Alastair’s eyes went wide. His fingers started tingling. No, no. Conceal, don’t feel. Don’t let it show.

‘No!’ he said. ‘Please. I’m all alone, you’re the only person who understands. You weren’t meant to find out, but you did, and now you’re all I have.’

Thomas looked confused. ‘But that means you did feel something, right? If you truly felt nothing, you wouldn’t care if I left.’

Alastair shook his head. ‘No, when you said you would leave, I did feel. Please stay with me, Thomas. I don’t want to feel. Usually, it’s like a storm and I have to fight to keep the ice inside. You make everything better. With you I don’t feel the storm.’

‘I think you’re a little confused about what it is to feel,’ Thomas said. ‘You know it’s more than sadness and fear, and anger right? Happiness is also feeling. I feel happy when I see you in the woods.’

‘Perhaps that’s it,’ Alastair said. ‘Do you think it’s alright for me to feel happiness? Even if I’m not supposed to feel?’

‘Of course, Esfandiyar. What is the point, if you can never be happy? I have to go home before my mom realizes I’m late. But can I see you again tomorrow?’

‘Always,’ Alastair said.

The last day he met Thomas, the other boy was acting a little shifty. Alastair wasn’t sure what it was. It made him nervous. He knew to expect bad things when people acted like that.

‘Esfandiyar, there’s something I need to tell you,’ Thomas said.

His cheeks were red, and Alastair didn’t think it was from the cold. Alastair waited expectantly, but Thomas didn’t continue.

‘What is it?’ Alastair asked.

‘Well, you see,’ Thomas began, stumbling over his words, but he was not to finish them.

His father came stumbling into the woods, Alastair could tell from his demeanor that he’d been drinking. His fault, he should have stayed in the castle. Of course they’d notice he’d snuck out.

‘Alastair, where have you been?’ the king asked.

Thomas looked at Alastair, and then at the king. ‘Alastair? Oh heaven, you’re the prince, aren’t you?’

Alastair sighed. ‘Esfandiyar is my middle name. I’m sorry Thomas. I shouldn’t have lied to you.’

‘Who are you?’ his father hissed at Thomas, and Alastair hoped Thomas wouldn’t notice his slurred speech, betraying to a trained ear that he was drunk.

‘Thomas Lightwood, your Majesty,’ Thomas said softly. ‘My mother is a baker. My father is Gideon Lightwood, he represents the commoners on your council. I was just on my way home. I swear I didn’t know he was the prince. I am so sorry.’

‘Go home, Lightwood,’ the king said. ‘And do not let me catch you here with my son again, or I’ll have you thrown into the dungeons.’

Thomas took Sven and disappeared. Alastair dreaded what would come next. Father could be unpredictable when he was drunk, dangerous even. Alastair was terrified he would be dragged into the dungeons to those cuffs, or to the sauna.

‘I’m sorry, Father,’ Alastair said softly.

‘What were you thinking,’ his father snapped. ‘You’re a prince, not some peasant boy. How can you risk them finding out?’

‘I’m sorry,’ Alastair repeated. ‘He was nice to me.’

‘He’s a peasant boy, of course he’s nice to you if he thinks it’ll win the prince’s favor,’ Elias said. ‘You must learn these things, or you’ll fall for anyone with even a little bit of charm.’

‘He didn’t know I was a prince,’ Alastair protested.

Elias didn’t even look at him. ‘Of course he did. Everyone in the kingdom knows who you are. He lied to you to bring you into a false sense of security. You’re so naïve, to have believed him. I have sent for someone to come and teach you about ruling a country. It’s about time you learnt to be a proper prince.’

Alastair looked back once more, but Thomas was long gone. Alastair went back to the forest the next day, desperate to hear what Thomas had wanted to tell him, even if it was only once. But Thomas had been nowhere to be found, and Alastair had returned to the palace, defeated. He was all alone.

His father was right, it was time to be a proper prince. He was fifteen now, he was old enough to understand how the kingdom worked. His father couldn’t fulfill his duties anymore, not with his drinking eating away at him and his mother doing everything she could to fill in the gaps. It was time for him to step up.

[just-a-real-human]

Stress

(heya! this is my first story and i’m still not that good, so keep that in mind as you read ‘^^ please give any constructive critisism you can give to help me improve! i’ll write in mostly metric to make it easier on myself, let’s chalk it up to the translator being extra nice today) (extra note, i’m Dutch and English is actually my second language, so keep that in mind as well)

The classroom was filled to the brim with all kinds of aliens, from the wonderful to the weird, speaking in all their exotic languages. all the conversations differed and the translators they had really started to prove their worth! the only thing that truly stayed constant was the subject of their conversations...Humans. That was because this was a special class all about Humans, given by the head of research on humans, or ‘anthropology’ as the humans call it, an alien called Kr’kn. Kr’kn was one of the first to spend an extended amount of time in the company of humans, going on to become a famous figure in the galaxy.

After a couple minutes of this exitement in the classroom, it all suddenly went silent as two figures walked onto the speaking platform. the first being Dr. Kr’kn himself, a Molusk-like creature having some resemblance to an earth octopus, but with about 12 tentacles, 4 for locomotion, which are place under his body, giving him an upright gait and making him stand about 1.4M tall and 8 tentacles for manipulating the environment. But perhaps even more exiting, behind him followed a Human! The human followed Kr’kn closely, fidgeting with something grey in his hands. when they reached the speaking platform, The human promptly took seat in a chair next to the speaking platform, continuing to play with the thing it was holding, yet hiding it from view, looking around the room, but never looking directly at any of the students. Dr. Kr’Kn looked over the room and took a deep breath before saying.

“Humans, strange creatures aren’t they? Very, very complicated ones as well, there is much more to them then any sensory organ could perceive. They are loud, but can be almost entirely silent. They are social, but they need privacy and alone time frequently. They are tall, yet can blend with many environments, even without technology. I could go on for HOURS about the uniqueness of humans, and i probably will sometime! But not now, because over the course of these months i will teach you all i know of humans, starting not with the very basics, but the more advanced things as through (their equivalent of internet), reading and lessons you’ve learned the basics of them. So let us start with a subject not often touched on in education, stress and, unavoidably, rage.”

The students sat, watching the doctor, and occasionally the human, with wide eyes. they had indeed learned the basics of human biology. they had briefly touched on hysterical strength and subjects like that, yet they still didn’t have a very good understanding of humans, simply because nobody had. Except of course them one teaching them.

Dr Kr’kn continued. “We all know stress, most species have it. But in humans it can be especially prevalent. Stress in humans can drastically affect their mood, emotion, sexual interest, concentration and even lifespan. It can induce depression and loss of interest and a whole managerie of different effect on humans, nearly none being benificial. Often stress quickly can lead to anger, and is oftened compared to a rubber band, each thing that stresses them out tightening the band and if they are too stressed, they get angry. Humans have dubbed this stress-overload as ‘snapping’, and it can range from shouting at someone to assault and even death, both for the human and the one who made them ‘snap’.  Humans can be quite easily stressed, for instance my dear friend here gets stressed by crowds, eye contact and meeting strangers, as well as a looong list of other things. this is partially due to mental disorders, but mostly due to personal differences.”

Many of the class nervously eyed the human after he said this, the human did seem a bit uncomfortable, what if he ‘snapped’ here? This seemed to be a stressfull environment, why would he be here? Was he forced?

The Doctor looked around, noticing the nervous glances and chuckled. “No worries, my friend here is calm as can be. This actually leads very well into the next part, how do humans relieve stress? Well, there’s some ways, that you’ve probably already learnt, and seeing as that’d be a little embaressing to go over for my friend, i’ll go to the less well known ones. A very popular one, maybe even more popular then any other, is music. An immense amount of emotion can be transferred into music, ranging from happiness to sadness, even anger can be put into music! The best example of ‘angry’ music is probaly a kind of music humans dub ‘metal’. Anyone sensitive to rythms, loud noises or things like that, please cover your ears.” He said, swiping a few times on the tablet infont of him, a large hologram raising infont of them before saying once more “I repeat again, if you are sensitive to fast rythms or loud noises, please cover your ears!”

He then pressed the play button and the music started playing, and indeed, as he said, the pure rage put in that music was so overwhelming some students actually seemed afraid, as if the humans on the hologram could jump out and attack at any moment! The human accompanying Kr’kn seemed to enjoy it, moving his head up and down in the rythm of the music a little.

Dr. Kr’kn paused the music, swiping it away. “Well, i suppose you get what i mean about anger being conveyed in the music? And despite its seemingly simple nature, metal often has deep symbolism, especially compared to the simple first impression. It also happens to be one of the most difficult forms of music to play. Another good way to relieve stress for humans are video games, especially either calm and cute ones, or the most violent ones they can create!”

The class laughed a little, assuming the doctor was making a joke. As a reaction the doctor pulled up another hologram, showing the class a cute, calm game about finding many orb like creatures with (human) smiles on their faces. It seemed to be a good example of what the doctor meant.

“now, if you are bad with blood, violence or dismemberment, please look away, and if you are sensitive to rythms and loud noises, cover your ears again.”

He then pulled up a video as one specific game, one set in a red, fleshy cityscape, destroyed and overrun with the most disturbing creatures you could imagine. But worst of all, a human was running through! With more of that ‘metal’ in the background the man was running through the creatures, shooting them with ballistic weapons, energy weapons and cutting them apart! It even ripped them apart with its bare hands! Many students looked at it, horrified, some even needing to look away. Kr’kn laughed, swiping away the hologram. “that there is a favorite game among many humans, including my friend here, he is quite skilled at it, in fact, the footage there is my friend playing that game!”

The students looked at the human, terrified. Humans ENJOYED murder and destruction!? They liked such violence and that music?

Dr. Kr’kn laughed again. “Anyways, yet another way of relieving stress, or more accurately, prevent stress, is in the form of a mental support thing. Often that is an object, like in the case of my friend here! If you would please look to him, he will show what his emotional support object is.”

The human seemed a bit aprehensive before revealing the grey thing he was holding and had been playing with...it was a small, grey teddybear with a white scarf. it was clearly quite old, it was clear it used to be coloured something else then grey, but due to years of hugging and washing, it had lost it’s colour, only it’s snout being a little brighter grey with a brown nose.

“Yes, that little thing is one of the most important things in my friends life, so important, in fact, that he has once killed someone for taking it.“

The students gasped, looking at the human, who looked away a bit, now holding the bear closely, clearly regretting what happened back there, and speaking for the first time. “Not JUST for taking teddy...he was a pirate”

Kr’kn laughed, shaking his head “True, true, the fact remains that it is an incredibly important object to him, anything else and he would have waited to sneak up on him, but he instead took the pirate on without bothering to sneak, he shouted so loud the pirate was stunned for a moment before my friend here beat him with a glass and stabbed him to death with the shards! none of us would dare approach him for hours after that...well, the humans kept their distance claiming he needed time alone, but we all noticed even the humans were fearfull. He only truly calmed down when his chosen mate, or ‘girlfriend’ went to speak to him. And that brings me to the most important and effective ways for a human to relieve stress.

Kr’kn let the students stare at the human for a little bit, he knew how they must have felt, humans were terrifying when you learn such stories, and even more if you experience them!

“there are 4 most important ways for a humans to release stress. And they are: Screaming, crying, talking and love. Screaming lets them simply release all the rage in their system in a simple roar, it can be one scream or many, but they are almost always effective. Talking means to simply share their troubles with someone, be it human or not, even talking to a pet, friendly wild animal or book(by writing it down) will help them as they aren’t the only ones stuck with it anymore, and the other might be able to help in some way. And now the two most important ones, Crying and love. Crying is a strange thing, humans will leak water out of their eyes and make a repeating sound, often accompanying screaming, but even more often it is silent, and they usually cry when safe. It releases all their stress and sadness over a period of time and is a very clear way for others to see how they feel, and Love is often a result of it, or what causes it, which is good. For instance the previous story, my friend here told his Girlfriend everything, and a human often gets repetitive when telling something, which you should deal with if you truly care for them. He then simply got a hug, which is one of the most primally loving and caring things a human can do. You all know kissing is something that human mates do, but a hug can be done by any human they care about. Physical contact is important for a human, and a good hug will often make a human cry their worries away, which is an important part of bonding and caring. Now do not go about hugging humans every chance you get, it’s something special, and not every human likes it. For instance my friend is a bit sensitive, so there are few people he allows to hug him, and i just so happen to be one of them.” He said the last part with a certain pride, having his race’s version of a smile as he looked at the human.

“Anyways, this is where my job ends for today, and yours starts. I want you to write a simple list of stress-relieving things for a human, write it as accurately as you can. And even if it isn’t very accurate, as long as your tried, it’ll be good enough for me. Next time i will go over the dangers of a human and what you should do to avoid it. I hope you have a good day and enjoy your time, goodbye!”

The students wished him farewell and Kr’kn walked away, the human joining him, still holding the bear closely. The students exitedly started talking to one another, having learned many things about humans that they didn’t know before. After many minutes of conversation, they slowly started to leave, and after about an hour or so the classroom was entirely empty.

WELL! that was my first story, i hope you enjoy it! again, give your opinions and constructive critisism down there, any ideas and suggestions are welcome as well! have a nice day c:

Good news! I fixed the comments (i think). :D

[stardustdates]

can i ask for a fem!demon slayer who accidentally falls for kokushibou and comically tries getting in his pants, to the dismay of literally everybody else, and fINALLY it works! nsfw please! irgh i feel like i'm asking for too much, and thanks in advance!

Stardust's comment: I read Kokushibou? Thank you for fueling my writing stamina *-*

Stardust’s comment2: I got this done for today so it might be a bit rushed! I just love the 3 highest upper moons so much ;;;

Kokushibou x reader NSFW: “Mine”

let the date begin!

It started out with a fight. Like with every demon you encountered. Never would you have thought you’d fall for one.

For hundreds of years, demons and slayers had been enemies. Yet the moment your eyes laid on him. He looked strong, intimidating. Yet more than anything his angry face seemed to hide so much pain. You did have a pretty good sight, it was your best advantage after all. You could see every micro movement of the demon’s face.

And as you both stared each other down you felt a certain tenderness instead of the terrifying fear that should have taken over you. That, that had the six eyed demon in front of you quite perplexed.

“-You’re not scared?.. He seemed surprised.

-Only scared of what that di- I mean- no, obviously. You stuttered out

-What?”

You face palmed inside at the fact that your first line was about to be a dirty joke. Only if you knew it wouldn’t be the only time.

It had been a few months that you came to the same place in the forest every day to meet with the giant. You had learnt his name -or at least his demon name- he was Kokushibou. He never told you a lot about his past, all you knew was that he was a very jealous and envious demon. Yet he showed a certain interest in you, hidden by a cover of an “interest for how pathetic humans are”. 

After a bit he seemed to start smirking at your jokes. Tho you didn’t know if they were jokes anymore. Even as he was talking with another demon, which he had to dissuade from approaching you. You had come to learn the other demon’s name was Akaza. Well… Akaza did quickly end up disgusted by how touchy you were getting with the larger demon. Putting your hand gently on his arm so he wouldn’t draw his sword, being glued to his chest when you spoke to him. But what disgusted that striped demon even more was the fact that Kokushibou didn’t seem to mind. Even looking as if he enjoyed it.

Oh and was he chocked when he heard the dirty thinks you’d spill jokingly talking to the more powerful demon. Maybe someone else would have found it fun, he didn’t. He’d often lash out at you, calling you disrespectful and disgusting amongst other things, fleeing in submission as Kokushibou showed signs of a future fightback.

“-Are you okay? He asked, still as stoic.

- Yeah, I think.. I’m used to demons after all! You beamed. Maybe.. I could thank you in a special manner! You giggled

-Oh? -For once he seemed intrigued with your proposition.- And would you really do that?”

Your eyes opened wide. You couldn’t identify if he was serious or not about it, it was hard to see through him.

But oh. Your doubts disappeared went rough hands grabbed your hips, you could feel his sharp claws through your uniform. Blood rushed to your face as he leaned down close to your ear. His deep voice sounding like a growl.

“Maybe you really should. It’s a lot of teasing behaviors you’ve been showing me, after all.”

You could feel heat running to your core. His hands making their way behind you as he hoisted you up in his arms. He was rough and violent as he sat you on a rock shedding off your haori. If he gave into his instincts he’d have ripped it all away. But something inside of him wanted you dressed once he was done. He didn’t want anyone else than him to see you vulnerable. Thus calming his needs as he unbuttoned the uniform his mouth latching into the skin it exposed, not with an intent to kill but to mark you up. Biting and sucking at the skin. His tongue licking at the marks he left as his rough hands groped at your chest, making you let out a breathy moan. Your flesh was so tender. So soft. He felt great power just from seeing how small you were compared to him.

Crouching between your legs he lifted up your skirt, sliding off your underwear, getting hit by the smell of your pheromones, demons were more sensitive to it, and he would go feral if he didn’t know better. He licked his lips at the sight, kissing your thighs, leaving a few bites and love marks here and there. He ran his finger up and down your slick slit collecting wetness. It was already driving you crazy and your moans were about to do the same to him. You shivered at his warm breath as he got closer to your intimacy giving it an experimental lick. Seeing you squirm just from that was definitely a boost to his confidence, he started eating you out roughly, licking and sucking at your clit while his fingers curled up inside of you. His hands were big and just two fingers made you feel so full already, you were moaning so lewdly it only encouraged him to do more. He started stretching you out in a scissoring motion, slowly adding another finger. He saw the slight discomfort on your face and frowned, lifting his face to look at you.

“-Would I really fit in such a tight body? You seem pained from as little as stretching. Maybe you don’t really want it. The demon let out a dark chuckle.

-I do! -you muttered- Please… Kokushibou-sama...” Oh the way you half moaned his name while he kept fingering you as you spoke… It made something inside of him snap.

Your moans turned louder and your eyes closed as his hands got rougher, as he added more pressure to his licks. Right as you were about to cum you heard him getting up and away from you, letting you to the feeling of emptiness that you expressed in a needy whine. Your eyes slowly opening again only to see the fabric of his clothes come off, his scarred and toned body revealed to you.

“You’re beautiful..” You whispered, lost in thoughts. He gave a smile. One that looked genuine. Yet that softness could only last so long as your eyes traveled down to his hardened cock, another electric wave of heat going straight down to your needy pussy. He got back to you holding you up once more, making you let out a little yelp as he laid you down on the cold floor, quickly settling himself he lined his dick up with you wet hole. He looked at you as he slid in. He starred at every micro expression you might have. He knew he couldn’t keep collected for too long as your walls seemed to squish him in while your moans seemed both immensely pleasured and slightly uncomfortable, but nothing could get him prepared to the sight of your small body barely managing to fit him whole inside, your lower stomach bulging up as he stayed inside. The growl he let out, fighting his feral need to thrust hard and rough into you, making you clench around him even more.

Kokushibou couldn’t hold it anymore he was shaking from his thoughts and wants. His mind was almost animalistic as he grabbed your waist with one hand, holding himself up with the other as he started thrusting into you. You moaned his name out, again and again. You could see the way his eyes were glued to the movement of the bulge caused by his dick inside of you. He was absolutely obsessed with the size difference you both had. He was muttering through his growls and low breathes, muttering about how he could destroy you, how he could split you in halves just by fucking you.

Your moans and his noises felt like music to both of you, even as you yelped in a pained surprise as he bit into your shoulder, trying to suppress his moans. His thrust got rougher, harsher, your body taking everything it could as his cock head hit the deepest parts of you. You felt so close, screaming his name, pride harbored his features as he heard that. He himself starting to give in into the pleasure, letting his low rocky moans out. He got sloppier in his thrust, holding onto you as he barely moved his cock out anymore, instead just hitting as deep as he could. He felt you contract around him as you came screaming his name once more. The tightening around him, so tight it could almost let him stuck, got him filling you up after a few more thrusts. When you came back to reality, riding out your climax you couldn’t help but notice how Kokushibou was holding you against him. Focusing a bit more you could hear him repeating a few words over and over again.

“You’re mine. Mine. Mine only and just mine.”

[ackermanshoe]

March comes in like a lion, it's Portrayal of toxic & healthy relationship and how to compares rivamika + Ereh

Que the longest title everr 😌✨

So before I start on the actual analysis, I recently started watching March comes in like a lion instead of doing my assignments and I half way through season 2. For those of you who haven't watched it, it might be a spoilers so beware of that.

In this analysis I'll be comparing the similarities I found between Rei, Hina and Kyoko.

So watching any anime after being do emotionally attached to rivamika it's only natural that I compare them to the characters with even the tiniest bit similarities in their dynamic but Rei and hina's relationship jump in episode 4 of season 2 really caught me off guard and I was like omg?? Rivamika?? How do I make this about them 😩

Anyway so a little background on Rei's relationship with both girls Kyoko and Hina ( Hinata ). Firstly, i subconsciously placed Rei has Mikasa, kyoko has Eren and Hina as Levi, why? You will know on a minute. Rei is a depressed kid who has known only one way of life and that's through shogi games and after his parents death ( cough cough ) he was taken in by a old friend ( I think ) of his dad's who was also obsessed with shogi. Kyoko is the biological daughter of this man who has "adopted" Rei and later on Rei was came to know Hina and her sisters, they were super supportive of him from the start and having lost family members themselves they related to him on a personal level.

So you see why Eren and mikasa's dynamic matches with Rei and Kyoko and not only as "step siblings" it's also the fact that Rei became somewhat obsessed with her through the time he had spent over at their house, it's toxic and it's been showcased that way ever since kyoko was introduced into the series. Rei thought of her when he heard the word "love" and he even admitted to the fact that having her around is toxic and yet he can't push her away. He said he does not want to stop hearing her voice even tho she , herself is in love with a much older man who is married. Everytime she showed up to his bedroom uninvited and slept next to him my mind went "he is in love with her and their relationship is so toxic why does the author keep bringing her into his life?" Or "girl get the fuck away from him".

Without even thinking too much deep into their physical connection I already knew I would be able to related this dynamic to Eren and Mikasa. Although this series gives us much more depth into the main characters views since it's narrated from his own perspective, and the fact that he metaphorically compared his feelings of being lost and sadness helps me as an audience to understand what's happening much much easier than attack on titan. I personally feel like this kind of series are usually short ( idk how long this is) because it feels like the author knows exactly what he is going for, everything is set in stone.

Going back to Rei's ( mikasa's) relationship with kyoko ( Eren ) it's much much clear how toxic it had become for him in more than just one way. And the show isn't denying Rei of his feelings towards Kyoko and it's not even attempting to distant him from her and yet you just knew there had to be someone better right? That's when they introduced Hina and Kyoko in the same episode, meeting each other and a sense of invisible rivalry gushed over them, especially Hina. She is a happy go lucky girl and extremely sensitive to things to the point it kinda annoys me everytime she bursts out crying ( but hey you can't hate a genuinely good character ).

That's where things get interesting for me maybe because I am on that Levi X Mikasa agenda all the time but just like rivamika their relationship has been portrayed as platonic for the longest time in the seaosns. If I didn't go out of way to search up who Rei falls in love with and it didn't say hina's name I probably wouldn't be making this comparison right now because who wants to have their heart broken for the 2nd time in the same fucking month 🙄.

Anyway so in this one episode Hina comes home crying because of bullying issue at school and as she runs off into the dark streets Rei chases her and eventually catching up to her takes her hand and being able to relate to her problems, comparing his younger self to her present Rei reaches out his hand and God fucking damn it he says "you saved my life..I promise I'll stay with you" ofc I'm making this post now you know the real reason 🤡.

The unseen build up that happen between them reminds me of rivamika, the Portrayal of healthy relationship is rivamika. Hina (in our case Levi ) to Rei is the voice of emotion, she speaks out the feelings that Rei has been surpassing all these years inside of him. Just like how we talked about Levi is the voice of reason, while Mikasa has the impulsive urge to act up. Just like how Levi became the perosn who reasonably always took mikasa's side, he gave her personal reasons to take Erens side everytime have an actual meaning towards the scouts / everyone , he then became someone Mikasa was able to object & voice out her opinion towards because she knew that he would response and guide her the right way and finally he became someone she was able to fully trust.

Much like Hina and Rei, when Hina cried out her heart and Rei couldn't help but go back to his past self and imagine Hina coming to him and giving him a hand, being his saviour. It's much like how Levi saw his past self in Mikasa present ( S1 ), Levi gave Mikasa the hand she needed when she didn't know she needed.

Hina despite being much younger than him, was able to make him realise that he too was shutting out his emotions and was able to let himself be free through Hina when she cried, expressing her frustrations and very human like emotions. In the forest of the giant trees when Mikasa and Levi saved Eren for the first time he told her " we got your precious friend, didn't we?" A slight wake up call he had given her for the very first time, an attack on Mikasa's ego and evoking a different emotions within her. Like telling her it's not only about Eren and getting revenge, risking your life so easily, Levi had lost his entire squad in order to protect Eren so now that he is safe they better leave now.

So the question is did Levi and Mikasa save each other?

What can I say that I haven't said already in here about these two?

"you saved my life" Rei says to Hina as he reached out her hand and the beauty of that scene was the fact that it was delicate and soft despite it not being anything romantic. Remind me of that panel of Mikasa touching Levi's shoulder. How ironic is the fact that I'm comparing Hina, a openly emotional character to Levi who is said to be the most emotional inside?

Levi physically saved Mikasa a lot of the time however emotionally Levi saved Mikasa from being selfish and from herself. What if I said and ignoring 139, that Levi was one of of the biggest reasons Mikasa took the initiative and decapitated Eren that day?

Wait why does it feel like I already said it before lol

Through Levi, Mikasa learnt to trust more, learnt that even though they gave difference not only in height, age and in how they treat Eren ( Levi with force and Mikasa with care ), Mikasa still came in terms with Levi and relied on him, shared her burden with him. I think that's the biggest character twist Mikasa had, the fact that she was ready to draw sword at anyone who treated Eren wrong and everyone was scared of her and then came the grumpy shorty who beat her beloved brother right in front of her but eventually he became the biggest form of support she had in the end. I just can not help but laugh at all the unseen development this ship has had and all the implication of Futher interaction after season 3 between them, it's really obvious they had something going on because imagine you don't talk to someone for like 3 years and suddenly when you engage in battle against , paired up with them suddenly you become the strongest duo known to humanity. +?)!#)# make it make sense.

Sooo now you see the that having toxic relationship with a partner is only natural and inevitable but growing from that, opening your eyes to those who actually care there for you is rather healthy. So moral of the story is guys make sure stick with those who tells you to stay with them, the end.

Omg guys this turned out so much longer than I intended, anyway hopefully y'all liked it. I know it's not the strongest comparison or analysis but I feel like I'm running out of words for what I want to say about rivamika it feels like I'm recycling my sentences from previous analysis over and over again because ✨ lack of content ✨ and my inability to think of something new.

Please ignore all my spelling mistakes I have decided to embrace my mistakes instead of fixing them simply because I'm too lazy 😉

💜💜💜

[ohallthecrushes]

That one day... // Arthur Fleck x Reader

A/N: I’m tired, my lower back is in pain and I should be sleeping, but my hyperfocus didn’t let me. xD So somehow I made this one shot that I was pretty sure I’d never finish. Arthur is sweet, but dark and creepy and in love with reader.

Summary: You and Arthur just became friends. He fell in love with you from the beginning, but because you were hurt before you want to stay just friends with him. You thought he’d be ok with it, but of course he’s not. Soon you start falling in love with him too, but having in mind what you decided before, you try to ignore your feelings for him. When you finally let him know, he doesn’t believe you and it turns out into a little disaster. Can someone teach me how to write good summary?

Word counts:2293

You and Arthur were friends for some time now. One month to be more precisely. It all started with you coming up to him and asking if he was alright after you saw him standing before a building you lived in...

Looking lost in thoughts. 

In the middle of a pouring rain.

Without an umbrella.

Broken down and beaten up.

It was a simple gesture of kindness that you took him to the nearest donuts shop and bought him a hot coffee to warm him up. You sat down with him and made him to talk. Reassuring him that you wanted to sit there with him and you actually wanted to help even by just lending an ear.

It was a gesture of kindness, but it was a magic moment to Arthur.

His life had changed that day.

You gave him your phone number, just in case he ever wanted to talk again and he thanked you and apologized to you for the trouble at least seven times before you two left the shop and separated.

He didn’t call you the next days, weeks even, which felt somewhat disappointing. You were hoping that he would call to offer you a coffee or something like that. Not that you wanted him to repay you. You just... You felt like he was a good sensitive man, a gentle soul so hard to find in Gotham that you would like to know better.

It was a shame that he wasn’t interested.

But then, you couldn’t know that he spent two whole weeks following you around, getting information about you and learning your daily habits.

You couldn’t know. He made sure of that.

It was that one day when you accidentally bumped on him when you were going back from work that he invited you to your favorite coffee shop down the street. You agreed with a smile, lucky you felt that day.

He appeared to you as a shy, timid man with daily struggle and mental problems but also with big hopes and dreams.

He was always polite and considerate of your feelings, and he asked you a lot of questions about you and your life.

Some were simple and silly like your favourite color or songs you often listened to.

Some were more intimate and even inappropriate at times. But you were never upset with him for asking such. You knew he didn’t have any friends that he could learnt from what healthy boundaries were.

Until now, of course.

You became his friend and you two began to meet more often. He opened up to you some time later and you could see how much more comfortable he started to feel around you.

You even noticed that he felt comfortable enough to gently brushed his hand over yours when you two were walking through a park. Something was in the air...

That was when you had to stop him.

- Arthur...

- Yes?

- Remember when I told you about my ex boyfriend? And how fucked up our relationship was?

- Yes...

- You know... how... hurt I was. I’m not ready to start dating yet. I hope you understand that and you don’t take it personally, I...

- Oh, it’s alright - he nodded his head a little to vigorously to fully hide that he’d been hoping for something to happen between you - I didn’t try to do anything, just... I get that you’re not ready, I do. I’d like us to stay friends too.

- You’re sure? 

- Mhm - the way he lowered his head and avoid the eye contact told you he wasn’t fully honest.

- Artie...

- I’ll be alright, really. I have feelings for you, you know, but I don’t want to destroy what we already have. You’re my friend... You’re my only friend. I don’t wanna lose you.

You wanted to say something, but he smiled at you softly.

- Don’t worry about me, Y/N, I’ll be fine.

That day you were foolish enough to think that he actually would be alright about you two being just friends. He seemed fine at that moment and you thought that because it was just the beginning that his feelings for you weren’t strong enough yet, so they would be easier to suppress, easier to ignore. As if it was something he could just take back.

But he was already far too deep and beyond the point of turning back.

***********************************************************

You didn’t get back to that topic ever again.

You kept hanging out with each other everyday you could, and everyday when you couldn’t you were talking by phone, telling each other how your day was and sharing your thoughts on different topics. He was telling you jokes and listening you laughing. While you were feeding him with your home made cookies and watching him dance in his Carnival costume. You kept each other company as friends do, ignoring the fact that sometimes, just sometimes he looked at you with an old hope and longing.

You stayed just friends.

But your smile was his favourite thing in this world to look at.

And he occasionally told you a few compliments to make you blush as well - his second favorite thing to look at.

But his voice was the last thing you heard before you went to sleep and the first thing you heard when you woke up.

But “goodmornings and goodbyes” became your daily habits. Something you couldn’t get through a day and night without.

But he sometimes surprised you with small gifts, like your favorite cupcake or something related to your hobby. Smallest things so you wouldn’t forget about him.

But everyday you were getting more and more excited to see him.

And before you know... You were far too deep and beyond the point of turning back.

******************************************

It was that one day when you two were chilling on his couch, drinking tea and watching old comedies. You were facing each other and silly laughing about... oh who cares what.

You felt happy when he was around you. You felt excited when he looked at you or called you by your name. You felt things towards him a friend shouldn’t feel.

You had realized that a week before, but you’d tried to ignore it. You’d managed to ignore it somehow even though it hurt you inside. It burnt a hole in your heart when you also had realized that you couldn't tell him. After all you were the one that had insisted to stay just friends. You were the one thinking foolishly that feelings can be easily repressed or forgotten. You should had knew better than that.

Your eyes were wandering all over his face as you tried to silence your heart at that moment.

But his small hiccups were adorable and his smile was so wide and his crooked tooth looked so cute.

But you couldn’t look away from his lips as well.

You couldn’t take it anymore. How could you be so naive? How could you deny him and yourself something you both felt so deeply?

You stopped smiling and started screaming inside.

- Y/N? - he asked puzzled and concerned as he reached out to touch your arm - What’s wrong? You look like you’re in pain...

You were in pain, indeed.

To stop yourself from crying you started laughing. But it was a sad laugh that Arthur wasn’t amused with.

- Y/N?

- Oh god! I can’t... I can’t do this anymore - you shook your head as you dramatically covered your face with your hands and put your head up. You couldn’t just sit there pretending anymore, hurting your feelings like that.

Arthur stared at you confused and worried, wondering what made you say that and what did you mean.

He’d noticed that you’d been acting weird lately, that during conversations your head had been somewhere else and it was as if you'd been hiding something before him. He didn’t want to pry, but he couldn’t help but felt that whatever that was, had something to do with him.

Suddenly he felt insecure again. His old demons started barking.

Did you just... agree that you couldn’t stand him and pretend to be his friend anymore? Did one of his fear just became a reality?

- W-what are you saying? What d-do you mean you can’t?

You spread your fingers to look at him. You didn’t want to take your hands off your face, cause you knew you were blushing like hell.

- I can’t just... - you took a deep breath - i can’t just be your friend...

Something in his eyes told you that you just hurt his feelings in an awful way. You didn’t mean to! Oh no, let me explain!

- I mean I... I didn’t want to sound... I find it hard to... - you struggled with your words and you saw how the light in his eyes slowly disappeared, replaced by something much darker and empty.

He thought he was right, his brain hadn’t lied to him this time. You really did despise him, didn’t you? You had just pretended that you liked him, because you felt pity for him, when in reality you couldn’t even stand him. He was right from the beginning, wasn’t he? He clutched his fists and felt like his lower lip began to shake as well as one of his knee.

You couldn’t see how scared he was, how disappointed and hurt, cause you shut your eyes closed, trying to focus on the right words. But the right words just couldn’t came out and you felt frustrated with your own disability to handle this conversation that you’d just started.

- Oh, for fuck’s sake - you said as you opened your eyes and leaned forward, letting your lips express what your mind couldn’t. You kissed him or more likely pressed your lips to his in a little desperate manner, silencing you both from racing thoughts for a brief moment. Then you leaned back, opened your eyes and waited. He looked at you confused and anxious and you knew what was coming next.

He pressed his hands to the place where your lips had been just a second ago and burst into a very loud very hurtful laughter. His body turned away from you shaking as if he wanted to hide himself from you, from your sight, so you wouldn’t pity him even more. He could feel your hand gently caressing his back as you always did when he had his fit, but you did this only because you had to, right? You didn’t really want to be there with him or for him in that matter. He was just a freak to you. He was just. A. Freak. A very naive freak.

- W-why... are... why are y-you... mocking me... like this?! - he managed to gasped out as his laughter scaled down. He was siting with his head lowered and his eyes on the floor. His eyebrows were knitted, his leg was bouncing fast and he was seriously upset.

- What? I’m not... - you were confused now, his sudden outburst made you withdraw your hand. Wasn’t you clear enough with your kiss? - I’m not mocking you, Arthur, I’m...

- You know I have feelings for you and you’re mocking me with that kiss!

- I’m not! That’s not what I wanted to-

- You said - he interjected you - that you can’t do this anymore. That you can’t be my friend! What you meant is that you can’t pretend anymore that you like me. You said that! And then - he glared at you with a hurtful look in his eyes - then you kissed me to mock me - he added with a lower much more quiet voice. For a moment you were afraid to speak up.

But you started to grasp on his way of thinking. And... oh boy.

- No... You’re wrong, Arthur. I didn’t kiss you to mock you. Why would I.. - you sighed - What I meant by that is... I have feelings for you too and that’s why I can’t pretend to be just your friend anymore.

He looked away and took a moment to process your words. He didn’t look at you and you were afraid that he wouldn’t believe you, but his leg slowly stopped bouncing and when he finally looked at you, his eyes were soft looking and his voice didn’t sound so dangerous. 

He didn’t fully believe you, but he was getting there.

- You... have feelings for me too? - he repeated very slowly as he was still processing what he’d heard.

- Yes, I do. I’m sorry I wasn’t clear enough with that before.

Slowly his body turned to you and he became visibly more relaxed. His eyebrows twitched as he finally got what you were saying.

- But you said before that you wanted to stay friends...

- I know and that was... well, very stupid of me. 

You took his hand in yours.

- I fell in love with you Arthur and if you still feel the same about me... Then I’m ready to start something new.

His face lightened up with a big smile and you saw tears in his eyes.

- Y/N... Oh god, I’m so sorry I reacted like that! I thought that... I let myself thought things I shouldn’t have. But that was my...

- ... your fears talking, I know.

He gently squeezed your hand and leaned down to assure you that he still felt the same about you.

He cupped your face and kissed you with an overflow of passion.

That day your life had changed.

[2018shawn]

love (sticky) notes

a/n: I forgot I wrote this and I'm clearing out my drafts so here we are why!!! the fuck not!!!.... here is a whole lotta y/n feeling and looking her best SELF n loving herself like we all should as strong independent women. you’re all beautiful 🥺🥰

warnings: alludes to smut, a little swearing, a little fluff, a little happy

 Tom let himself in, just like you requested, because you were both at that stage now. The stage where you weren’t exclusively each other’s, but exclusively and most definitely were not anyone else’s. It was fun; things going at their own pace, no pressure, no rules, just you and Tom being, well, you and Tom.

“Your Prince Charming has arrived!” Tom shouted, making you aware of his presence. Last thing he wanted after a shitty day doing filming was to be knocked out by you because he’d scared you shitless. He hung his back pack on the hooks you kept by the door, kicking his converse off so they landed next to your very own trusty pair. He smiled; his n hers.

You shook your head to yourself as you continued to change in your room, the door open just enough for his voice to flood through. “Okay well Prince Charming can make himself at home and there’s a beer on the table for you.”

Your shoebox apartment was small enough that you didn’t really need to shout, more so just talk loudly in order for him to hear you. He noted the ice cold Budweiser sat on the coffee table in front of your sofa, condensation dripping from the neck of the bottle. You’d left a sticky note on there, with a simple smiley face and a kiss for no particular reason at all, other than that you loved a sticky note. He slumped into the sofa - he loved your sofa more than his own, it was real cloudy (his words, not yours) - reaching over for the refreshing beverage before kicking his feet up on the table. A warm smile spread across his lips as he peeled off the sticky note. He wanted to wife you, he knew that much.

“How was your day, darling?” He asked, taking a large gulp from the drink, which indicated how his went. He fiddled with the sticky note, pressing it down onto the material of his t shirt, like when you go to the dentist as a kid or you get all your spellings right at school and get rewarded with a sticker; this time, you were his reward.

Small mumbles escaped your lips as you fiddled with your unfamiliar change of clothes in the bedroom. You couldn’t quite get the clasps right and wondered how there were women out there who wore stuff like this on a daily basis. Although you had to admit, so far, so cute. “Yeah, okay I guess. My boss was a jerk again but what’s new.”

Unbeknown to Tom, your foot rested on the bed, one at a time, as you rolled stockings up your legs, letting them snap to your thigh when they were high enough. “You need to tell him to come see me.” He replied, and you knew he was tensing his jaw.

You rolled your eyes, but couldn’t help but feel giddy and warm at the way Tom got jealous and protective over your relationships with you boss, especially when you once let it slip he asked you on a date but you politely declined. “Sure thing,” you laughed, grabbing the last item to complete your outfit, sliding it over your shoulders.

You asked him about his day, and you soon learnt that he couldn’t quite get the scene right, resulting in a hella load of retakes and okay guys, let’s take a minute moments. Glancing over the bedroom one last time before you opened the door fully, you checked everything was in order, no washing or Winnie the Pooh pyjamas laying around. A final walk past the mirror stopped you in your tracks, head snapping to face your reflection. You barely recognised yourself; the nicest underwear you’d bought or even worn in god knows how long adorned your body, colourful floral pattern contrasting against your nude skin. You think you looked nice; you felt nice, and as your mum once told you - who’s gonna love you if you ain’t gonna love yourself. Even though you were queen of putting yourself down and picking at things you didn’t like about yourself, you’d also grown to live with your imperfections. A final brush of your fingers over the light pink, mesh material smoothed out the matching kimono to your set and you swallowed a gulp.  

The door to your bedroom creaked open, and from where you stood you could see his crazy brown hair sticking up from the couch, his head leant back against the head rest. Your living room was pretty much in front of your bedroom door, the kitchen to the right and bathroom to the left. It was nothing special, but it was your little home and you loved it. The back of the sofa faced your bedroom door, Tom only aware that you were entering the room due to your quiet footsteps on the floor.

“... and I swear to god, you know like when you thought you’d be baby Jesus in the nativity but you get given the part of a tree? That was her, she wanted to be in every bloody take!” He sighed, rambling on about some girl in the scenes that was only supposed to be there as an extra.

His eyes were closed as you walked closer to him, legs spread apart and bottle resting on his leg with the support of his hand. You wanted to run straight around and straddle the living daylights out of him, but self control needed to be a thing here. Each of your hands came to his tense shoulders, your fingertips beginning to knead at his strong structure. He hummed in return, a satisfied smile creeping upon his lips, his eyes remaining shut as he enjoyed the relaxing gesture. “You’re nice.” He simply said and you watched how his Adam’s Apple bobbed up and down as he gulped.

A giggle fell from your lips as your hands loosened on his shoulders. He was about to groan at the sudden lack of touch, but was stopped when your hands flately ran from his shoulders and down to his chest. He’d been working out for the filming of the movie and you could feel it, his chest hard beneath the surface of his shirt. You laughed at the sticky note on his chest, avoiding knocking it off as he pulled a pouty face, his lips stretching out for a kiss. Hovering over the top of him, you bent your head down to place a delicate peck on him, so delicate you barely touched at all. Your hands roamed down to his torso, feeling him tense up beneath your touch as your hands ran over each pair of abs. His lips were still stifly pouting, needing a real kiss to be satisfied.

When you were happy his shoulders were less tense and his body a little more relaxed, you let your hands rest in one place. It was ironic really, that you were the one upside down, kissing him, because wasn’t that spider mans job once? Nevertheless, you continued, not entirely sure how to approach an upside down kiss but going with the same approach as normal. Your fingers grabbed at tufts of his T-shirt as your lips came into contact, his hands working their way up above and behind him to lace around the back of your neck. The sound of the billie eilish playlist was nothing but background noise as you loved on each other passionately, the sounds of your lips hard at work filling the quiet space.

He hummed into your lips as your hair fell from behind your head, gliding down and landing across his chest and neck. His face scrunched up, your brown curls tickling his sensitive area as he let a small giggle escape his lips and god, did you think it was the cutest thing in the world.

Standing upright, he pouted at your disappearance, peeking one eye open as he realised he was yet to lay his eyes on you tonight; that was usually the first thing he did. The straighter you stood up, the lower down your body his hands went. Considering he was spider man and billy Elliot, he appeared to not be all that flexible, his hands only just able to grasp the top of your arms.

Tom furrowed his eyebrows at the feel of your clothing, the mesh material feeling foreign to his touch. You stayed at each other’s houses long enough for him to know that you very much prefer a baggy t-shirt to lounge in, to which he had no objections. Mainly because a) they were normally his t-shirts and b) they almost always stopped at the top of your thighs, giving him a pleasant view for his time with you. His hands enveloped around your arms, snaking downwards until they reached your wrists and he began to fiddle with the unfamiliar sleeved embroidery. He could tell the stitching of the flowers were beautiful, but not nearly half as beautiful as you.

You admired his soft touch, watching down at him as he opened his other eye, smiling up at you. “Hey.” He smiled, flashing the movie star smile you fell for months ago. 

A soft giggle escaped your lips as you tucked the front of your hair behind your ear, “Hey.”

He was too busy staring at your face to notice your attire, but when his eyes finally travelled down to your chest, they widened. His lips parted into an o, his chest coming to a halt as his breathing stopped. The bralet you was wearing was a see through mesh, your nipples only covered by the embroidered flowers matching to the ones he’d felt on your sleeves. The pink and green colours complimented you perfectly and he was at a loss for words. He leant forward on the sofa, placing his beer own on the coffee table and you weren’t sure how he didn’t miss, because his eyes didn’t leave your body the entire time. 

Kneeling up onto the sofa, he finally faced you, hands gripping the back of the sofa. “Holy shiiiiiiiit,” he groaned, taking his bottom lip in between his teeth. His eyes began to travel further down your body, not really wanting to move away from your incredibly curved breasts, but eager to see what the rest of you had to offer. Your waist was bare and he continued to the top of your hips, where the matching, delicate suspender belt began to cover your stomach. It flowed down, past your bellybutton and ended just above the top of your thighs. Peeking out from underneath were of course the matching pants and the most unique noise left his lips, something half way between a whimper and a groan. 

He didn’t noticed how his knuckles were turning white as they gripped the sofa because he was scared if he let go, he’d pass out. You let him admire your body, knowing it wasn’t exactly the usual welcome home you’d normally give him. But when his stare started to burn into you and felt more than torturous, you had to say something. “Um... is this ok?” You looked down at yourself then back up to the love eye emoji knelt in front of you. 

“Is it - are you fucking even real?!” He finished speaking with his mouth still open, hanging down and eyes wider than ever apart from the few times he blinked hard, to see if he was imagining things. You laughed, taking it as one of the best compliments you’ve ever received. 

You started walking backwards, getting closer to your bedroom door with a suggestive smirk on your lips, “well, are you coming?” 

And that was all it took for him to climb and stumble over the back of the sofa, nearly throwing himself onto the floor in the process as he chased into your bedroom where he very, very much enjoyed the rest of his evening. 

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