#bottom jaskier

[hold-me-witcher]

Thinking about Yennefer, who's viciously a top, always wants to be in control, but she knows nothing about proper power dynamics and that some people really crave the subjugation. She meets Jaskier, who's happy to introduce her to the concept AND he likes getting pegged.

[geraskierficrecs]

Mafia AU Update!

Read the latest chapter in Aiden’s POV here!

Teaser:

“You must be the new bartender Lambert hired,” a low voice murmured a few feet away.

It was only habit that kept Aiden from flinching at the unexpected arrival. There weren’t many people who could sneak up Aiden without him noticing. He turned to watch the scarred wolf as he settled onto a stool warily.

There were only a handful of wolves that did not carry the title of alpha with this much power. Everyone knew to fear and respect the Kaer pack’s consigliere. Great might be the head and heart of his pack, but Eskel remained the claw tipped fingers ripping through their enemies.  Unlike Geralt’s intensity, Eskel kept his power subtle, almost invisible until the moment when he used it like a blade. Aiden could appreciate the skill even if he hoped to avoid becoming a target.

“I am,” Aiden said in an even voice. “Would you like a drink?”

“An old fashioned, please.”

Aiden nodded and busied himself with gathering the supplies he needed. The weight of Eskel’s focus made him avoid the small Rolodex of recipes tucked away behind the counter in favor of trying to remember what an old fashioned looked like from the few times he’d someone else order one. He reached for an orange and carefully muddled a sugar cube at the bottom of the glass. Bitters next, he thought, and poured some over a larger ice cube.

His memory failed him as he reached toward a bottle on the shelf and heard Eskel’s voice call out, “You need bourbon.”

Swallowing, Aiden moved his hand over to the bourbon and quickly finished off the drink as requested. Eskel’s dark eyes picked up the glass with a thoughtful look, swirling the liquid inside. “How long are you planning to stay in Blaviken?”

Aiden shrugged. “I’m not sure.”

“Our pack always has a place for wolves that prove loyal,” Eskel said, eyes fixed on Aiden’s face like he was peeling away each layer of his expression. “Lambert believes you would be a useful addition. You and your brother.”

“He told you that?” He can’t help but look out into the crowd towards familiar broad shoulders and grumpy frown.

“Lambert wouldn’t have offered the job to someone he didn’t see potential in. He has a bit of a soft spot for people who need shelter.” Eskel took a drink and kept his voice perfectly even. “Some assume that his kindness is a weakness.”

There was a threat in the inhuman glint in the consigliere’s eyes. Unlike Geralt and Lambert, Eskel allowed his wolf to linger at the forefront of his features, working in unison like a well oiled machine.  Aiden was reminded of the rumors of bodies staked out in enemy pack lands and the way the crowd avoided getting too close to Eskel as he moved around him. This was a predator created to hunt other predators.

Aiden had no doubt Eske would burn the world to ash to protect his brothers and he recognized the same monster lurking in his own chest. So he offered Eske a rare bit of truth.

“I am not here to harm the Kaer pack.”

[toss-a-coin-to-your-stan-account]

y'know if the "I like geralt platonically and with great effort" line was meant to try to convince the audience that jaskier didn't pine for geralt in s1 then I feel like it really backfired bc being like "ugh i didn't even like him 🙄" is one of the top three things people usually do when they're embarrassed bc their crush ended up going really fucking badly

[jay-arts-t]

Geralt: *aggressively drinking caprisun and squeezing the last bit of juice from the bottom of it.*

Jaskier: sir-

Geralt: that's what I'm gonna do to your balls

Jaskier: SIR

[0dde11eth]

Geralt: *blackout drunk in bed. He's in kaer morhen with a glove he stole from jaskier when they separated for the winter*

Geralt: jaskiers fingers were inside you, what's that like?

[sillylilfang]

collection of witchery doodles.

these were fun. like 7 months ago when i did this lmao.

[finleycannotdraw]

Hand kisses hand kisses handkissesHANDKISSES

Please? :3

YOU DONT UNDERSTAND I AM ON MY KNEES FERAL ABOUT HAND KISSES. HERE YOU GO

once again. geralt can give affection but has a real hard time receiving it without freaking out<33

[yeraskier]

i had to, for reasons

[viking-raider]

You know one of the things that kills me about Henry not being Geralt anymore?

Us never getting more context about Jaskier rubbing Chamomile into his "lovely bottom".

True tragedy right there, folks.

[hold-me-witcher]

Geralt: 🥺

Jaskier: Haha that's the bottom emoji. You're officially a bottom now Geralt

Geralt: Oh, I saw you using it and thought I'd return the favor

Jaskier: /incoherent offended bottom brat noises/

[geraskierficrecs]

Mafia/Werewolf AU Update!

Read the latest chapter here.

Teaser:

By his estimate, it had only taken him about an hour to make his way to the pier and back to the bar.  His skin was tacky with blood, but he was able to slip back into the bathroom when there weren’t any humans to scrub away the worst of the mess.  Thankfully, his dark clothing went a long way towards hiding stains and mud from crouching near the dumpsters.  Jaskier raked a hand through his hair and avoided his gaze in the mirror.

Music trickled through the door in a dull, mindless beat and he sighed, mentally preparing himself for a long night.  He forced his mind away from the thought of whether Geralt had been able to call for help and headed for the door.  Aiden would want to hear about what had happened at the pier.

As soon as the door swung open, Jaskier was nearly run over by a ruffled shirt and a cloud of overpowering cologne.  He winced as his nose filled with the astringent chemicals and looked up to find Valdo Marx sneering down at him.

“Careful, you imbecile,” the musician snapped.  “You nearly ruined my shirt.”

“Oh, you meant for it to look like that.  My mistake.”

Valdo sucked in a shocked breath, looking furious.  “How dare you speak to me like that!  I should have Lambert fire you for impertinence.”

“My apologies…I’m sorry, what was your name again?” Jaskier asked innocently, crossing his arm across his chest.

“I’m the lead performer of this establishment, you bitch!”

“I’ve been called worse things by better people.”  Before Valdo could do more than sputter indignantly, Jaskier swept past him with a smirk.  “You should probably refresh your makeup before going onstage–your wrinkles are showing.”

[help-help-i-need-an-adult]

@0dde11eth

[thelostgirl21]

@spoonietimelordy & @iwillbringyouruin, okay, I just had to further check out the French translation of Season 3, and I have to agree with Spoonie, it is awful (especially Extraordinary Things)!

This is why Quebecers have historically been known for making their own song translations (sorry, never got over how, in Quebec, "A Whole New World" in Disney's Aladdin stays "A New World"... But the European dub changed it to "My Blue Dream"... What the heck were they thinking?!?!? How does it work?!).

However, I do get why they changed the:

I can't take you inside, I'm sorry

Then take me here

dialogue by:

The cabin is occupied

Then take me here

Because it's not like you can "take someone inside" in French! It doesn't work that way!

If you said "je ne peux pas te prendre à l'intérieur, je suis désolé" (the literal translation of "I can't take you inside, I'm sorry"), then translate it back to English while keeping the French meaning, it now says:

I can't fuck you inside, I'm sorry.

Then take me here.

That's... That's not what Jaskier meant by "I can't take you inside", now, is it? (Or is it?)

So yeah, they had to change it.

So, instead it's like:

The cabin is occupied (i.e. I'm sorry, there's already someone inside the cabin, we can't fuck there)

Then take me here

Practical, sensible, but we sadly use the punsexual aspect of the scene.

At the same time, Jaskier's subsequent reaction, when he finds Radovid looking for Ciri inside the cabin, seems a lot worse, because he never told him he couldn't go inside the cabin... in the French translation, he just said they couldn't have sex in front of his niece (again, a sensible decision)!

So, I've tried to figure out how we could have kept a pun in the scene, and promptly discovered why no one should ever hire me to translate anything...

Because all I can come up with is:

Je ne peux pas te laisser pénétrer à l'intérieur, je suis navré

Alors pénètre moi ici

Which, if English speakers are curious essentially translates as

I can't let you enter inside, I'm sorry

Then penetrate me here

And

[mrskillingjoke]

Geralt: please don't Joke around in there. I know you're used to riffing with me, but these kind of people rarely have my sense of humor.

Jaskier: wow, you are really worried about this contract.

Jaskier: Okay, fine. I promise I will be stone-cold serious. I'll even use my serious face.

Jaskier: *is doing a stupid serious face*

Jaskier: If you wondering how I'm pulling this off, I'm thinking about the time when I was 15 and Valdo Marx called me a little bottom.

Geralt: was he right?

Jaskier: *blushing* yes.

[0dde11eth]

Geralt: I do all the riding when it comes to horses!

Also geralt: I refuse to ride the bard! He has to be on top! I am the princess!

[pop-punk-jaskier]

Neck Deep // Rock Bottom