#boyo snacks

[the-boyo1]

Dried Turkish Apricots: A Healthy and Tasty Snack

[modmamono]

I'm not sure what their opinions are.

[llamagoddessofficial]

Can we get some Horror fae headcannons? I'm twiddling my thumbs and waiting for the big boyo to appear while I lose myself in your fae realms

Goodness, do try not to get lost. Though if you do get lost, he's certainly the one for you.

Quite similar to his non-fae self, really. Quiet, large, wild, bloodthirsty when required but completely unafraid to show his soft side to those he loves.

He does have a bit of a... 'reputation', in both realms. A reputation for being a frightening beast that you do not want to encounter out in the wastes.

Apparently, he did something unspeakable in Summer - banished from that court, he found himself immediately warmly welcomed into Nightmare's fray. He was one of the first of the Winter court.

He and Nightmare aren't exactly "friends", in the way Nightmare and Killer almost seem to be. But there's a certain degree of trust between Horror and Nightmare that just isn't there with anyone else. A level of mutual, unspoken understanding. They rarely talk to one another, but somehow, they seem to know each other very well.

(There seems to be some truth to the Summer rumours, given his absolute visceral hatred of even the word.)

Living in Nightmare's court means Horror has ample food. People are still scared of him, though.

Big fuzzy guy!! His wings are the biggest and softest out of anyone's; cuddling him will be like hiding in the thickest blanket imaginable. If you sit on his lap, you can pull his wings over you and fall asleep snuggled up like that. Rest assured, if you do that, you will never meet a happier skeleton.

Tricking you simply does not cross his mind. He's too slow with words for that kind of nonsense. If he wants to keep you forever, why does he need to steal your name? He'll just bake you the best pie you've ever had, that'll do it.

Or chase you down when you run. That works too.

Not good at telling you he likes you. He can show love just fine - gestures of devotion are part and parcel of who he is. But when it comes to the talking side of romance? An absolute wreck.

Killer helps. "hey, my buddy over there thinks you're cute," [points to the enormous shaking & sweating anxious monster who's unsuccessfully trying to hide behind a candelabra]

He tends to disappear for several days in a row, to go on long treks through the snow. They clear his mind. He probably knows the realm better than anyone alive. He would really like it if you came with, making you the first person to ever be invited along, but he doesn't mind if you don't want to go. He doesn't expect everyone to be interested in multi-day snow hikes.

(You could sit on his shoulders the whole way, though. In case that changes your mind. He'd also show you untouched natural wonders beyond comprehension. And he packs snacks)

His love language is bringing food back for you from his 'trips'. Baked salmon from the ice rivers, steaks of venison from the winter forests, slow-cooked rabbit from the plains, and on rare occasions bear stew from the mountains. If you're vegetarian it'd be good to tell him immediately because this will become a pattern.

He also likes making furs into clothes for you. For someone who struggles with shaking hands, he's surprisingly good with a needle and thread.

You'll never be cold, when he's around. And you'll never sleep alone.

[inkyblackpen]

Werewolf snack

fully rendered version of wolf boyo ! actually real happy with how this turned out guys ^w^

[viviennevermillion]

My boyo. He's so adorable but SOOOO deranged it's not even funny. Like how do you work for human traffickers to make up for your inescapable poverty, use your magic to turn people into puppets to sell, enchant them to participate in a whimsical musical number for no reason but your own personal amusement, tell the terrified victims over loudspeaker how shit you think they are, let yourself be enraged by a bunch of sassy high schoolers and then decide by the end of the day, to quote my dear friend Azul Ashengrotto, I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE!!! How does one go from trafficking children to wanting to found a school for magicless children in the span of 24 hours. How do you manage to escape a probably exploitative work contract AND steal your bosses' property in the span of 24 hours with nothing but 1 madol and a dream? How's he going to fund this school? He apparently has to be worried about getting enough to eat. How do you just go "you're right, no more trafficking children, from now on I'm gonna commit to the good of humanity :)"

His lesson from the whole thing was "actually schools are good!" rather than "wow I feel so bad for all the people I probably sold :/"

There is not a sane bone in his body and no rational thought in his brain. His thoughts probably contain so much cursing that the sentences are unintelligible when you censor them. Everytime he speaks to a person he doesn't like, he internally adds "you mediocre little fuckshit pissbabies" or similar to the end of the statements. He has the most deranged evil laugh ever. Even when he likes you and you tell him a funny joke he goes "hehehahahaaAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAH" like he's about to kill someone. He likes having his little ears scratched. He bites though.

He's like the biggest asshole cat you can mentally picture. He doesn't just push stuff off your shelves, he takes the vases and chucks them at unsuspecting pedestrians. He's mad at you and you ask him for a glass of milk and he takes the milk carton out of the fridge and pours the entire thing all over the floor and kitchen counters without breaking eye contact. There's a collection of knives on his bedroom wall.

He's my special little guy. They want to study him to update the DSM-5. He eats the rich. He needs some money to found his little school so he gotta work in retail, scanning the customers' products at checkout and muttering "fucking bourgeoisie cockroach" under his breath. Shamelessly lists "amusement park manager" and "salesman" in his CV as if he worked at a legitimate business. He once had a mental breakdown at the grocery store after closing hour and downed a bottle of whiskey straight from the shelf and then danced through the snack aisle stabbing his cane into the chips bags out of boredom while singing "you're never fully dressed without a smile". Gidel being mute is the only reason this kid does not curse like an uncensored Rapper version of Ebenezer Scrooge.

He's clinically insane. He's the most wondrous attraction at Playful Land. He hopes the afterlife is a musical. He's Fellow Honest. This is a fake name.

[daisyblog]

Gogglebox

Our Story Masterlist Summary: YN and Louis on Gogglebox.

Based on this request.

YN is sat on the blanket covered sofa, waiting for Louis to return. “Louis? Are you in the kitchen?”.

Off screen Louis can be heard calling back. “Yeah!”.

“What have you got?”. YN asked, as she put her feet up on the coffee table in front of her.

“Minstrels…dry roasted peanuts…your favourite chocolate…everything Tiny”. Louis named a few of the snacks he had before throwing her the chocolate bar.

YN gave him a grateful smile and a thank you as he sat next to her. “This is why you’re my favourite older brother”.

Louis frowned as he processed what she had said. “I’m your only older brother!”.

“Exactly…my favourite”.

“In London”.

“Saw someone tweet that they hate Yorkshire tea”. YN’s voiced played over the outside of the London home.

Louis and YN shared the same disappointing look, appalled someone would say such a thing. “Yorkshire tea is the way for me…the bands old manager used to drink them Earl Grey’s”.

“Earl fookin’ Grey’s?”. YN repeated, judgement high in her voice. “What the fook is an Earl Grey?”.

“Horrible!”. Was the only singular words Louis had to describe the tea.

“Brother and sister, Louis and YN!”.

“Just have a cup of tea y’know what I mean…it’s like those fookin’ avocados…trendiest food of all times, it’s like if I have an avocado and tag it in me picture like y’know what I mean…I’m a boyo”. Louis rambled on about his hatred for avocados, as he sat on the sofa with one leg rested up on the table. YN had switched off slightly as she let him talk. “They do piss me off, avocados!”.

At the mention of the fruit, YN snapped out of her daydream. “Are you still going on about fookin’ avocados?”. A giggle escaped her lips, as she looked at Louis sitting on her left. “How many times have you said fookin’ avocados?”.

“Avocados…said it again!”. Louis cheekily raised his eyebrows in a teasing way.

---

“Do you watch this?”. Louis asked his sister, who was getting comfy under the blanket, referring to the program University Challenge.

Without her lips threatening a smile, she sarcastically replied. “Nah, I’ve always worried I’d be smarter than them”.

The minute the joke slipped form her mouth, Louis chuckled at shook his head lightly at his unserious she was. “Shut up you idiot!”.

On the University Challenge, the contestants were asked “Of unknown origin what three letter word dates to the 1920’s in the sense of a live performance by a musician or group?”.

Without hesitation at the mention of a group, YN answered. “One Direction!”.

“Three letter word Tiny”. Louis rolled his eyes at his sisters answer.

The female contestant answered correctly. “Gig is correct!”.

“You should have got that”. YN pointed out to Louis, who only playfully nudged her with his shoulder.

---

“Doctor Johnson referred to which English literally figure…”.

“If they don’t know it…then we don’t know it”. Louis pointed out as the contestants looked a little confused themselves.

“Shakespeare!”. YN said with confidence, not realising that it was correct.

When the male contestant answered “Shakespeare”, and was told he was correct.

YN and Louis jumped in their seats at the realisation that she was in fact correct. “WHEEEY!”. The cheered tougher, matching their identical smiles.

“You go Tiny!”. Louis encouraged his sister, proud that she had it correct, even if it was a guess.

YN wore a smug grin, internally shocked that she managed to answer one. “Look at me…brains of fookin’ Britain”.

---

“In London”.

“Have you seen how much they’re trying to push American football now in England?”. Loui voice played over the outside of the building.

YN stared at him like he’d asked her the most ridiculous question ever. “Do you really think I keep up with football gossip?”.

“Brother and sister, Louis and YN”

He shrugged his shoulders. “You might…you enjoy coming to the odd game…you loved the charity match when we were in the band”.

“Yeah ‘cause I had some eye candy to look at!”. YN defended her reasoning, the eye candy referring to Harry who she was currently starting to let back into her life after their break up.

“Fair…fair!”. Louis let the conversation slide.

---

As the start of The Haunting begins, YN asked Louis if he believes in ghosts.

“Not really y’know…do you?”. It wasn’t a conversation the siblings ever had.

“I’d like to think there’s something after death…y’know…so kinda”. YN explained.

“You’d be a little shit if you were a ghost…just playing fook with everyone!”. Louis pulled at his jeans, trying to get comfy.

YN giggled. “Like real life you mean?”.

“Exactly!”.

As the scenes of The Haunting played, Louis and YN’s eyes were glued to the screen, watching intensely at what was about to happen. “I hate scary stuff…don’t think I’ll be able to sleep tonight”.

As the woman on the program woke up and sat up in bed, the camera quickly panned to the end of the bed where a large creature was stood.

“AHHHH!”. YN jumped up, clinging onto the cushion beside her.

Her scream caused Louis to jump in his seat. “Fookin’ ‘ell Tiny…you scared me more than that bloody creature!”.

After YN had calmed down her racing heart, she couldn’t help but laugh at Louis. “M’sorry you know I hate scary films”.

“I think the whole street know after that fookin’ scream!”.

---

Naked Attention was the next show the siblings had to watch. At first they were reluctant but it was part of of the show, and decided to make a joke out of it.

When the presenter on the show asked for the lower half of the bodies to be revealed, Louis and YN remained silent, both note for the first time all evening.

Breaking the silence, Louis spoke. “Do you know what’s mad about this…like they could get turned away now…and that’s all they’ve done all day is get out of bed and go on the tv and get their fanny’s out”.

“And bums and boobs…don’t forget them”. YN ended her silence. “I mean they’re naked on tv…like everyone can see this…imagine their poor Nan comes across this”.

“Let’s be ‘onest you’d hope your Nan wouldn’t choose to watch it”. Louis gave YN a worried look.

“Hey you never know!”. YN burst into laughter as she managed to make Louis embarrassed.

“Essentially they go on here…get naked…show off their bits and bobs and hope to get a date…it’s just mad”. Louis couldn’t understand the show and how it was a thing.

YN was deep in thought. “At least they know before the date if he’s got a little di-“.

Louis was quick to interrupt and groan in horror at what his sister was about to say. “Alright…alright that’s enough!”.

Tag List:

@pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @harrys-flower @platinumbarbie143 @frickin-bats@harrysbbyh0ney @chronicallybubbly @goldensunflowe-r  @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite@kaverichauhan @peterholland04 @panicattheuc @or-was-it-just-a-dream @hittiesontour@bunnyharold @fanfictioncafe @lilfreakjez @iamahallucinationnn @theekyliepage @indierockgirrl@buckybarnessimpp @ashleighsss @jerseygirlinca @fake-coolbeans @itsmytimetoodream@treehouse-mouse @mrs-anna-styles211994 @macy-tpwk

[regretisstoredintheme]

Could I have a yandere rise! turtles with a fem (or GN) s/o who sleeps a lot, like A LOT, but reader would wake up when what the yandere turtles wanted or something serious or etc. Wants some affection? granted. Listening donnie's blabbering about the invention he made? all ears. Movie marathon? lead the way sir. something like that, what would the yan! turtles react?

DO YOU REMEMBAH!! THE 21ST NIGHT OF S— HAAAHHHHHH??????

What’s this??

*snatches paper*

A Request?? 

“Anonymous asked: Could I have a yandere rise! turtles with a fem (or GN) s/o who sleeps a lot, like A LOT, but reader would wake up when what the yandere turtles wanted or something serious or etc. Wants some affection? granted. Listening donnie's blabbering about the invention he made? all ears. Movie marathon? lead the way sir. something like that, what would the yan! turtles react?”

A/N: Ooo… I like where your head’s at, it’ll be my first time writing the yan boyos, so this will be very interesting. Some of this is inspired by @pianocat939 ‘s adaptation, but lets be honnessttt when is it nottttt 

—Yandere!Turtles x reader with hypersomnic tendencies —

Disclaimer: I’m not saying reader has it, just a few symptoms. I don’t condone anything these Yanderes do, this is pure fiction, and should stay that way. 

—

Raph

It worries him, a lot.

He had asked Donnie to do a full checkup the moment you slept over 11 hours in one setting. 

Once he found out there was nothing necessarily wrong, he settles down a little, but he still gets nervous whenever you sleep too much. 

He finds himself shaking you awake more often than not, making sure you still had a pulse. At this point, the only way you can get uninterrupted sleep is by quite literally snuggling him into compliance. 

You wrap a lazy arm around his neck, and he all but short circuits, all his rebuttals melting away as he nuzzled into your grasp. 

He appreciates that this means he can go on missions without worrying that you’re scared without him, cuz’ you’re dozing away in his room, keeping his stuffed animals company ♡ 

His trust isn’t broken too easily, he tends to make your excuses for you, however, if you’re consistently trying to escape, it’s trouble. After the third attempt, he’ll start locking the door when he leaves on patrol, unintentionally guilt tripping you everytime he has to leave. But you wouldn’t do that, so there’s no worry, just because you’re too sweet ☺️ 

Speaking of when he has to leave!! He’ll always notify you— you won’t just wake up cold and alone, he’ll gently shake you awake to let you know he’s heading out. Sure he wanted you to sleep through it so his poor little darling wasn’t terrified, but if he knows he’ll be a while, he wants you to know. 

Sometimes he’ll just leave a note. but either way, if he leaves? you’ll know. 

On occasion, he’ll knit while you cuddle up to him, it just helps melt all his anxieties away, and if he gives you a sweater then you’ll definitely wear it, right? 

It’s possible he tries to get you moving on occasion, suggesting you train with him or even go on a walk with him (not outside, literally just around the lair.) 

If he does watch movies with you, they’re high action so you both don’t fall asleep. He’s more focused on you, honestly, he wants to know so much about you it’s honestly a little unsettling. Because you’re asleep all the time, he feels like he hasn’t gotten to know you as much as he wants to— so he’s practically memorizing your personality. He’s stuck in the middle, like he knows so much about you and yet nothing at all. 

Sicky-Sweet. whenever you start yawning or acting sleepy, he’ll start babying you— asking if you want him to rock you or if you want a snack. He coos over you nonstop, caressing your face with his hands and leaning in to place a sweet kiss on your forehead. 

“Regret!! Why is he so double sided? One moment he’s scared the next he’s sweet??” Exactly. Raph’s never been level headed. he tries to be!! Ohhh he tries to be. but you trip. him. up.

He has no idea how much of a loose canon he is, and it ends up hurting the people around him. He gets fidgety when someone so much as mentions how much you sleep, and he’s trying to suppress the sudden urge to punch their lights out as well as desperately explain why there was nothing wrong with you. 

Leo

He doesn’t mind. Not one bit. 

Out of everyone, he’s probably the one that likes watching you sleep the most other than Mikey. (Creepy ass hoes)

You will never wake up without him either right next to you- playing with your hair and holding you close in his arms, OR CROUCHING OVER YOU WITH THE CREEPIEST F-KING SMILE ON HIS FACE. 

“Did you need something?” You ask groggily, eyes focusing in on him.  “Nope.” He responds, not even bothering to shake his head. “So I can go back to sleep?” You raise a brow,  “Yeah yeah! goaheadbemyguest. :)” he waves his hand to brush off the question, still grinning as his bloodshot eyes bore into you. 

If he ever goes on missions while your asleep, he locks the door from the outside— Yknow, just in case you get any ideas ♡. That way, If you need anything, you can just text him!! 

and he’ll come running~

“What’s that Raph?” He taunts his eldest brother, smirking as he opens a portal, “Sorry I can’t hear you~ (y/n) needs me!!” 

“ Leo do NOT portal away— GHHAH.” If the red-clad turtle had hair, he’d be pulling it out. “we have a foot clan situation here!!” 

Leo doesn’t care in the slightest. he never really did. He considers the missions a responsibility he can easily neglect in favor of you. He doesn’t even want to be on the missions, really. He wants to be with you. Your text telling him how horribly dehydrated you are, or starving, or sluggish.. it brings him pure glee. Please have a need he can cater to.

He adores it, your look of helplessness without him— he loves the feeling of making that all go away, and sure it hurts staying away from you for an entire day, but the sound of you calling him, asking him to come home is like wedding bells music to his ears. 

Out of everyone, he’s the most likely to pull you out of bed. He adores your sleeping face, but how can he help you if you’re sleeping? So he shakes your shoulder, insisting you just had to see this new movie he picked out.

Hyperactive. He’s not always snuggling up to you, sometimes he’s bouncing off the walls, and the only thing that will calm him down is you. You’re his antidepressant, his stimulant, and his pain relief all in one. He leans forward in his chair when you speak, his eyes dilating in a lovesick manner at the sound of your voice. He’s pretty sure he’s addicted to you— he could listen to you talk all day. 

If you sleepily fall over, he is definitely the type to make a “did you just fall for me?” joke. Both canon and Yandere. Don’t tell me I’m wrong. 

He considers your sleepiness as a weight off his shoulder, providing for you was so much easier than he thought!! Almost— too easy..! Heheh…

Too easy…

Hey… you weren’t— avoiding him, were you? No.. you couldn’t be! Not after all he’s done for you, right?

..

Right?

Donnie

He acts like he doesn’t mind it

After all, from all the cameras he kept in your room, he knew of your tendencies even before you had picked up on them. 

Cool Temper. To me, he seems like a very patient Yandere, after all— in his family, he always had to bargain for things that he wanted: uranium, attention, his father’s love— even since childhood! he’s used to it. Honestly, he seems like the type to kidnap you for your anniversary— leaving a love note on your bedside table, lined with a muted, absorbent toxin that would put you to sleep the moment you finished reading. He knew you were susceptible to it, his plan was foolproof, after all, you slept all the time. 

In any case, he makes it his number one priority that you’re comfortable while sleeping.

He modified his desk and chair so you could sleep beside him, and snuggle if you so desire. Its become more of a lengthy couch than a chair, but— anything for you. 

He treats you like a cat in only one retrospect: if you’re clinging to him- suddenly he can’t go on missions. “Sorry, brothers of mine, I can’t move, I got a ‘cat’ on my lap.” 

He tries not to wake you, he feels absolute bliss when you snuggle up to him, addicted to the overwhelming sensation of your touch.

If he ever does feel the need to talk to you, he’s gently brushing his cool hand against your face, analyzing the way your eyes fluttered when you regained consciousness. 

He smiles gently, “There’s something I would like to tell you.” 

You sit up, leaning against his shoulder to gaze at his monitor. 

He had altered it to use an old type of projection, GameCube-style. yknow, the ones that you had to hold up to a lamp because they hardly projected any light? Yeah. 

He made it a little easier to view, of course, he still needs to use it, but he knows that looking at a bright screen when you’re tired is the worst. In fact, you actually indirectly improve his sight because of this. 

If you start to doze off during his speeches, he feels a little offended, but then his delusional mad scientist brain reasons that it’s because his voice is so soothing. 

He can’t help his slight hint of annoyance, though. He was really enjoying talking at to you! 

If he really gets in his head, it’s possible he might start thinking you’re sleeping to avoid him. He would ask you about it, trying to seem nonchalant to mask his desperation. 

You’re gonna have to reassure him, tell him what you love about him, and the like, because if you are avoiding him, you’re in for a world of hurt.

He’s not above making a ‘cure’ to your sleepiness, and he’s not above giving you his cure without your consent. If this is to spite him, he will take away your one refuge. He should be your safe space! Sure he kidnapped you, but you’re not still mad about that, right? It didn’t matter, because you’d be singing his tune once you lost three days of sleep, someone who sleeps all the time can only handle so much loss of energy. 

Mikey

Delusional. 

He reasons that the reason you’re so sleepy is because you’re tired from your trials in a mortal body!! His goddess is completely perfect, and there’s no way they could ever get sick!! and if they did, he would literally curse the gods until he were struck by lightning. 

Makes you whatever meal you want in bed. His lovely darling shouldn’t have to exert themself!! Not when they’ve already done so much by simply breathing in his direction (not like they had a choice—)

If you’re a still sleeper, he draws you. Taking pictures simply isn’t his style, a mere camera lens could never capture your grace, nor how much adrenaline you gave him. Only his dedicated hand can capture every single detail in your relaxed form. 

He’s the one who likes watching you sleep. When he’s not sketching your face, hands, pose, etc— he’s looming over you, unable to keep his hands to himself. How can he? When his goddess is right there and laying so perfectly. You’re practically begging to be in his arms!! and he is nothing but devoted to your happiness, right? 

If you’re a restless sleeper, tossing and turning - he spends a lot of time in the kitchen, whipping up an incredible breakfast for when you inevitably complain about a nightmare you had. He’ll always be there for your nightmares ♡ what kind of devotee would he be otherwise? 

Wakes you up with hymns he wrote himself, and he’s an excellent lyricist. His obsession shows no bounds, and he gives you a sweet kiss to your forehead as your eyes flutter open— letting him stare in those beautiful eyes. 

Maladaptive. When he lays next to you, he feels like he’s in a coffin (in a good way?? Strangely??) it reminds him of the fact that death itself could not tear you two apart. Nothing could hold him back from his dear, and he would fight that so-called god bear handed if they dare lay a finger on his darling. 

and how blissful you’ll both be, buried side by side beneath the grass and dirt, roses encompassing your tomb. How happy he’ll be settled into your side just like this, white and orange flowers laid amongst the beauty of him and his divine. 

You were a work of art, your death would be just as beautiful as your life. He only wished to be by your side, six feet below the earth didn’t matter in the long run. 

He would wake you only for necessities and movies. He loves laying by you, but it’s hard to know everything about his goddess when they were asleep all the time. 

When you’re awake, he’s consistently peppering you with sweet praise, the words sticking to your ears like honey as he holds you close. 

He laughs at every comment you make towards the film, smooshing his cheek to yours and adding on if he sees fit. He thinks everything you say is like music, the melody putting him at complete ease. 

There was no way you weren’t a goddess.

—

A/N: JESUS CHRIST WRITERS BLOCK HAS BEEN KICKING MY ASS— I’m so glad I finally got this finished 😭😭 I hope you enjoy!! I know it gets a little wonky near the ends, but I hope that’s okay. ♡ 

—

[vocal-eyes]

I am greatly ammused by the idea of Atlas waiting for Jack to do important things like restore oxygen while jack is just raiding every bin for snacks like a trash panda. So I had to make a silly little comic about it.

Also lets appreciate that this is the same man that Tennanbaum entrusted her girls to.

Imgage Description:

Jack from Bioshock is squating beside a knocked over garbage can with garbage spilling out. He is shoving garbage snacks into his face. Over the radios Atlas asks, “Hey boyo do’ya think you could restore oxygen before eating garbage snack”

[the-boyo1]

BOYO Dried Figs: A Premium Selection of Nature's Gems! Elevate your snacking experience with BOYO Dried Figs - a premium selection of dried fruits that exude quality and taste. Handpicked and carefully dried to perfection, these figs offer a luxurious and indulgent treat. Whether enjoyed on their own or paired with cheese and nuts, BOYO Dried Figs add a touch of sophistication to your snacking moments. Embrace the richness of nature's gems with each delightful fig. https://theboyo.com/products/boyo-premium-dried-afghani-figs-200-gm-anjeer-100-natural-rich-in-iron-fibre-rich-dry-fruits-gluten-free-good-immunity-dry-anjeer

[mariaofdoranelle]

The Chicks Love It

Rowan Week day 2: Rowan and the Cadre

This is just a silly little fic I wrote (mostly) last night, but I hope you have fun reading it!!

Warnings: language, Fenrys, mild smut, mentions of STD, neon condoms if you’re triggered by that (I am)

Word count: 1,4k

~~~~

“Why didn’t we invite Gable?” Fenrys asked while they were placing their bets.

“Who’s Gable?”

“The one that fucked you on the table.”

Rowan frowned his angriest frown at Fenrys. The boyo wasn’t near as funny as he thought he was. However, Lorcan was cackling at this poor, lousy joke. His friend’s bulky figure was leaning over the table as he punched it and wheezed. And whenever Lorcan Salvaterre smiled, there were only two possible explanations: Elide or beer. Since they were in their monthly dudes only and no wives gathering, it was the latter.

He sat back, ignoring the two dipshits and looked at his watch. Connall and Vaughan went to get snacks in the kitchen forty minutes ago, but Rowan wasn’t drunk enough to go looking for those two. Instead, he focused on the game. Elide didn’t like it when they used money, so Lorcan was making them bet with random objects.

Apart from his phone and wallet, Rowan only had his watch and a chocolate bar he bought for Aelin on his way here. The reasonable choice would be to give away his watch, since it had been cheaper than the chocolate and his wife hated it. On the other hand, Rowan loved that ugly thing. He didn’t love chocolate, that was for sure. But his wife did. His gorgeous wife who was currently saving the world from... something.

He took another sip of his beer, and when he studied the table, his mind went blank. Lorcan had offered his allergy meds, and Fenrys was betting an open package of neon condoms.

Rowan breathed deep and schooled his face. He needed to look stern for this particular confrontation.

“Why are you betting a neon condom?”

Fenrys gaped, offended. “Dude, it glows in the dark.”

“Why would I need my dick to glow in the dark?”

“It looks cool, like a lightsaber or something. The chicks love it.”

Rowan blinked, too afraid to ask what did he mean by chicks.

“What do you mean by chicks?” Lorcan addressed the elephant in the room.

“This girl I was hooking up with last week told me she was a Star Wars fan and I bought it to use with her.”

Lorcan snorted. “And they say romance is dead.”

Fenrys waved the opened condom package at Rowan. “Come on, man. They’re green!”

Frowning, Rowan gathered all his inner strength to not accept this. He was very easily persuaded by the color green. But then he took off his watch and let it go. It was too late to try to reason with Fenrys, of all people.

˜˜

“Dr. Whitethorn?”

Aelin hummed, focused on her paperwork.

“Your husband is here, he’s—“

“What happened?” she asked in a beat, her eyes snapping to her intern in a millisecond.

The boy’s eyes went wide. “No! I- I mean, he’s not a patient! He’s just asking for you.”

Aelin’s whole body relaxed and she sighed. “God, we need to go over on how to give news to people.”

She hurried to the unusually calm ER, and saw from a distance Rowan and Fenrys bickering, and Lorcan drowsing with his head hang. She approached them, but not before taking a picture and sending to Elide.

“I’m not naive enough to ask what happened to Connall and Vaughan.” Aelin closed the privacy curtain. “Where’s my patient?”

Fenrys relaxed on his seat wiggled his eyebrows at Aelin, and she already knew what was coming.

“My name’s Fenrys, but you can call me anytime.”

Rowan immediately slapped the back of his friend’s head. “My wife!” He pointed at his wedding band. “Wife!” And then pointed at Aelin. “Mine.” At last, his index finger darted between the two of the repeatedly. “Marriage.”

Fenrys was cackling, and when Rowan turned to Aelin for reassurance, his wife’s reaction wasn’t much different. She was wheezing, with both hands resting on her knees while Rowan frowned at her. A gentle rub between his eyebrows and a chaste kiss on the tip of his nose were quick to soothe his indignation, though. Despite Fenrys’ manwhore reputation, he has always respected his friends’ relationships, and they all knew he only hit on Aelin to tease Rowan. Still, her husband took the bait every time.

“So, what’s the occasion?”

“I won the game.” Rowan beamed, proud of himself.

Aelin chuckled, entertained by Drunk Buzzard. “And that’s why you’re here?”

“Oh. We need to test Fenrys.”

“And I’m waiting for Ellie,” Lorcan said, blinking after being woken up from his nap.

Elide was with a patient now, but Aelin wasn’t going to say anything. Letting Lorcan suffer for a while was always the best option.

“What are we testing Fenrys for?”

Rowan’s face looked somber when he said, “Everything.”

Her eyebrows went up. “Okay... Could you enlighten me?”

Like it was obvious, he sighed, exasperated. “Syphilis, HIV, chlamydia—“

“STDs, then.”

Rowan nodded, and Fenrys grinned.

“Is there a particular reason we’re doing all these tests?”

Her husband’s eyebrows went up. “It’s Fenrys!”

Fenrys was still grinning. “It’s me!”

“He was telling me stories,” Rowan continued, “Concerning stories.”

Aelin chuckled. “Okay, then.” And looked around. “Where’s Lorcan?”

The other two seemed as confused as she was with Lorcan’s disappearance, but they decided to let go. A brute that size couldn’t be hard to find.

After requesting Fenrys’ blood tests, Aelin went to do some other tasks before her shift ended. It wouldn’t take long, so she’d be able to drive them home.

When she was on her way to see a patient, she noticed one of the rooms had the door opened, and Aelin could make out a few words coming from inside.

Sir, we need this room for—

And a lot of grumbles coming from the other person.

Aelin entered the room to see what was going on, and it turns out Lorcan Salvaterre was sleeping on a very tiny cot, and the security officer was trying to convince him to get up so a real patient could have it.

Looking at the security’s exasperated expression, Aelin knew what to do. She hated it came to such drastic measures, but it had to be done.

“Don’t worry, I’m paging Elide.”

Lorcan finally turned to her, eyes half-closed. “Where’s Ellie?”

˜˜

After making sure his friends were taken care of, Rowan was finally home with his wife. Apart from the awkward part where Aelin had to tell Fenrys he had genital herpes, everything went smoothly. Fenrys pretended to be shocked while Aelin pretended to not know about that beforehand. They had no idea Rowan gossiped everything to his wife after boys’ night, and thankfully she helped him keep up the ruse.

He was waiting for Aelin after a hot shower when she appeared before him wearing nothing but one of his shirts. The moment she laid down by his side, Rowan didn’t spare a second before kissing her.

“Buzzard.” She moaned when his mouth went to her neck. “I’m so tired.”

“But you love morning sex.”

“When I’ve slept the night before,” Aelin said while softly chuckling.

Rowan left his spot on her neck and frowned in mock-indignation. She smiled at him, and he pecked her lips before tucking her in. Teenage Rowan would be disgusted to discover his future self finds having sex equally as satisfying as falling asleep spooning his wife as he smelled her lavender scented hair, but he wouldn’t have it in any other way.

However, Aelin soon started to grind herself against his erection. The tease.

He groaned. “Fireheart, are you sure?”

Going back to his previous spot on her neck, her whimper was response enough until his hand sneaked between her thighs, making her grind against his fingers.

“Greedy much?”

“I need you inside me,” she rasped.

Rowan kissed her lips once more until he grabbed the first condom he could reach, almost tumbling over himself with anticipation. Aelin used that moment to take off the shirt, and he gave attention to her breasts while putting protection on with his remaining hand.

Leaning back a little to adjust themselves, Rowan was almost set when his wife interrupted him.

“Buzzard, why is your dick glowing?”

“Thanks, babe.” Rowan did appreciate his own dick. He was glad his wife felt the same.

Chuckling, Aelin rested her head on his shoulder. “No, I mean...” The chuckles became a full laughter. “Honey.” She was cackling now, and Rowan’s shoulders tensed. Maybe this wasn’t an appreciative comment after all.

Wheezing, she managed to say, “Babe, your dick is literally glowing.”

When Rowan looked down, he noticed that his wife was right. His penis was neon green, shining like a lightsaber. Just like his friend described.

He was going to kill Fenrys.

TAG LIST

@autumnbabylon

@cookiemonsterwholovesbooks

@courtofjurdan

@dreamer-133

@elentiyawhitethorn

@fangirlprincess09

@goddess-aelin

@leiawritesstories

@rowanaelinn

@thegreyj

@rowaelinscourt

[lou-longhand]

Starter for: @ruby-hampton Where: The Public House

Lou never doubted that his bar was in fine hands with Ruby on shift. She did a far better job handling the business of it than he did, and she definitely shut down more fights than him.

But she was still vulnerable, in the sense that all mortal folks are vulnerable. The Mayor kept Goodluck safe from most prying eyes, but Lou was eternally waiting for some shit-stirrer to come poking around in the bit of safe haven he'd made.

Most weekday afternoons were nice and quiet. Ruby would beat on his door if he wasn't already awake, and he'd wander downstairs to the bar for a cup of coffee and a cigarette. There might be one or two folks having a drink, but more often than not, it'd just be him and Ruby bickering about distributors or ordering or the ongoing sore spot of what she called his "macho antics."

On this fine day, however, he hit the bottom of the staircase to find the bar packed with strange faces asking if they had a fucking lunch menu. He glanced down the counter to see Ruby pouring pints, so he intercepted the question himself. "This ain't some fancy gastropub boyo, we got booze and stale pretzels."

Sliding a sad wicker basket of the said out-of-date snack down the bar, he met Ruby at the tap and leaned in to whisper. "Who the hell are these clowns, then? Haven't even brushed my teeth yet and I'm fielding questions about lunch. Some hillbilly holiday I ain't heard of?"

[clown-prince-of-gay]

Ethan Potts and Michael Heathers, they might kiss. We will have to see. (Micha belongs to @king-of-vertigo)

The two boyos, once again. They give me so much brainrot and I would have given up on this peice if i didnt love them both so much (this is the peice that crashes my art program 4 times because I made it twice the quality it should have been)

Ethan info under the cut~~

He is currently employed at the one and only Bunny Burger, and was a coworker of one Randal Jade for a period of time, they get along quite well, two absolutley pathetic men (Ethan has more of a sense of humour in his misery however).

Because of his friendship with Randy, hes found himself paying a large portion of Randy's monthly rent for the dumpster out behind the restaurant (he wont admit it, and do not tell Randy. Ethan can and will fight you). as far as anyone knows, Randal makes it work.

The stickers involved an unfortunate encounter with Billy (and some super glue) in what seemed like a cute kid wanting to help decorate the silliness that was Ethan's beautiful bright blue phone. Until they didnt come off. He will be seeking his revenge.

Regaurdless, Ethan somehow manages to enjoy his shifts flipping burgers, and his oddly miserable life in the whack ass city of dialtown, but he has recently met someone on his daily stops to the gas station for snacks, and he seems to make everything seem very worth it~

[gaybananabread]

OH MY TITANN!!!

EEEE!!

The Evelyn headcanons were so damn cute!!

Can we please get Lee and Ler Caleb headcanons?

Have a nice day! 🫶🏻

🌟~Caleb Tkl Headcanons~🪶

~Aww thank you! Of course, I've been meaning to give the og string-bean some attention. He deserves to smile (⁠〒⁠﹏⁠〒⁠). Working through my reqs one at a time, oldest to newest. Promise I'm not ignoring y’all, I've got a system. Thank you for the request!~

General:

I think we can all agree that this boy is mostly lee.

With Evelyn, however, he gets a bit bolder and wants to see her smile.

So I'm gonna go lee-leaning switch. Mostly wants to get got, but can leave his girl a giggly mess.

I don't see him and Philip really getting into these fights often, though Caleb’s bro definitely taught him where his worst spots were.

Really only feels like sharing his liking of this with Evelyn.

Lee:

Gets lee moods pretty frequently. Lucky for him, he's got a certain magic user to help him out.

SUPER wiggly lil guy. Kicks his feet, flaps his arms, squirms like there's not tomorrow.

If you think you can handle it, watch for flailing limbs. If not (good choice), it'd be smart to pin him first.

I imagine he's got a decently higher voice than his brother (think Ethan Nestor)

Bright, bubbly giggles and almost childish laughter. Boy's got so many squeak spots, it's adorable (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡

Worst spots are his feet and knees. Loud, snort-filled laughter if you manage to get him there. Careful, though: he kicks.

Melt spot would have to be his neck.

He adores tickly little kisses there from a certain witch. Some wiggly fingers wouldn't hurt, either.

Since he met Evelyn, he learned that he actually enjoys being tickled quite a bit. It's a fun way to bond, and it's fun to just relax and let his walls down around someone.

Ler:

When he feels like seeing his love smile, this boy gets disastrous ler moods.

By disastrous, I mean he gets stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Loves seeing Evelyn smile and laugh, but it flusters the heck out of him.

If his lee asks for more or says something like “Don't stop!”, he's done for.

Definitely a soft ler. Only goes in harder if specifically asked, and even then he holds back. Boyo doesn't wanna make anyone uncomfortable.

Likes giving tickle hugs/cuddles. Don't be surprised if he comes up behind you and starts squeezing your sides or teasing your neck.

Pretty much only tickles Evelyn, though he'd be comfortable doing it to people he knows decently well.

Masterful aftercare. Long cuddles, little praises, snacks and more.

He's got a special way to make hot cocoa, though he refuses to share his secret. It's well worth the giggle-fest to drink some afterwards.

[didasgomas]

Night snack

Day 20 of @augusnippets

Prompts: Homemade meal/Quenched thirst/Favourite treat

Content warnings : Implied consumption of human flesh, implied unearthly creature

Part of "In Mortality", an au of Cut Down The Altar, story created by @missr3n3

July 18th, 2006 - 9:30 P.M

The kitchen was only illuminated by the small light above the stove, and the only sound inside it for many minutes was purely that of boiling water.

Lucille wipped her face with the handkerchief that she had left at the table, the intense day of work having left her more prone to sweating than ever. Her husband had taken over the interity of the cooking duty for the day, when normally they would have shared it if both were home, just to give her time to rest a bit.

Jake had gone off to party again, her little joys were going to bed as soon as they finished their game marathon, and Chris was asleep already. She would have joined him in their bedroom, but another member of the family needed to be fed as well.

"Sorry that your supper is coming up so late, Terry, but today was a very long one."

"Terry" made a small noise, which she recognized as being his way of saying "okay", since he obviously couldn't speak.

Her darling, precious, cute puppy Theron.

Well, he wasn't a puppy anymore, wasn't when she found him many years ago either, but to her, he would always be her first baby.

Normally he'd be out hunting his own food at night, she knew better than anyone else that he needed his own space and liberty, but tonight was one of those nights where he decided to stay at home, and when those came along, Lucille always made sure he had a cooked treat for supper.

Finally, the meat started turning brown. Theron didn't like it fully brown, so she had taken to stop boiling it as soon as the red started darkening that much.

Placing the flesh onto a plate, she did a soft, long but not deep, cut in the center of the slab of loin, just so enough juices could come out before Theron took even just one bite.

Lucille finally set the plate down on the floor after a few seconds, to let the meat cool a bit. The odd-looking dog did not wag its two tails, or drool, or show any impatience or even excitement at all, simply waited until the dish was fully on the ground and the woman who took care of it had fully retreated her hand.

"Enjoy it, boyo" Lucille said in a low but cheerful voice, tired but still devoted to those she considered family, watching as Theron slowly devoured his meal.

[fauna-flora11]

Enemies.... with benefits?

By the way: Part 3

MASTERLIST

Summary: Aelin and Rowan hate each others guts... Or do they?

Warnings: Swearing, Hate? sex, NSFW

Word count: 1.3K words

Rowan got up from his bed, yawning and stretching like a house cat. He took his time getting ready, wearing appropriate clothing for his job, and padded outside to the kitchen, since after-nap snacks were always superior. He came outside to the computer room, his new computer room, since his past base had been well and truly wrecked due to Aelin. He munched on a granola bar, speaking to Aedion with his still full mouth. "What are the updates?" Aedion turned, a frown on his face. "I'm not exactly sure right now, but mainly all signs point towards Hotel five, named for its perfect five star rating." Rowan snorted, sitting on a chair. "Sound like Aelin all right," He got up again, ruffling Aedion's hair. "Talk to me when you got a solid location, boyo,"

He scanned the room, frowning. "Where's Gavriel and Lorcan?" Fenrys replied with a snort. "Scouting, apparently. At the City's hottest and newest bar." Rowan rolled his eyes. Those two seemed to be the most innocent, workaholics but none of them could resist getting drunk till they couldn't walk anymore. "Well," He said, stretching his back, "I'm off to hotel five then," Both of them murmured their goodbyes, and he set off. He knew Aedion was right, anyway. He was their best tracker. Taking the long route, not only to avoid suspicion,but to avoid Aelin for as long as possible. The thought of her sent him fuming, hot and irritated. She had killed one of his citizens. He sighed, smoothing down his clothes. No use thinking of that now, he had to keep a clear mind. Especially when it had a habit of wandering where it shouldn't be.

He entered the hotel, completely ignoring the high, towering chandeliers and the exhilarating glass elevators. No, he went straight to the front desk, "Excuse me, Rowan whitethorn, reporting for duty. Suspected criminal in room 403,requesting access?" after gaining a key, he muttered the room numbers under his breath, finally reaching 403. The key card made a 'beep' noise as the door swung open. His breath hitched, he felt like he couldn't breathe. Aelin sat on the bed, smirking at him. But it wasn't that sight , no, it was the nightgown.

The golden night gown, shimmering in the light at every slightest movement she made, hugging her curves, leaving no room for imagination. It took every inch of self control in him to keep his expression non-cholant and to not, he reminded himself, not rip that gods-damned night gown off.

"Hello, Rowan," she smiled at him. "I didn't think you would fall for it you know, it's so easy to leave little kernels of information for you to think this was my warehouse." She sighed, looking up at the lush chandeliers and plush bed. "If only I was that rich," Rowan snarled at her, pacing the room. He turned to her, "You mean to tell me those days of tracking you were all useless!?"

"I'm afraid so," She got up, sensually walking towards him. "But now that you're here, we can do alot of other things." He was staring down at her nose now, and he prayed she couldn't hear his heartbeat. "What are you trying to imply?" she chuckled, "please, don't play dumb with me," he didn't back down. "I don't understand you, Aelin," she scrunched her eyebrows together, "Then you should probably leave, Rowan," He opened his mouth to - what, protest? Agree? - but before he could, a beet red Aelin pushed him outside, slamming the door and leaving him in the hallway.

His heart was beating so fast, by the wryd, he could barely breathe. He felt an ache, a need, that he had to fulfill. He couldn't. He was going to regret it. Alot. But he already regretted alot of things in life. What's one more? Taking a deep breath, he turned and heard once more, the mechanical beep of the door opening.

Aelin had barely pushed Rowan out the door before she leaped on the bed, screaming into her pillow. How the hell was he so unaffected!? Everybody liked her! Why was he the only fucking one, the only one she took an interest in, so uninterested!? He looked stoic and solid as usual. She had even worn her best nightgown, which cost a fortune by the way! And he hadn't even looked at it for a second! She huffed, sitting upright and hugging the pillow to herself. That regection was one of the most humiliating things she had ever heard.

She was about to lay down and pick up her phone, before she heard the beep of her door opening. Rowan's tentative head pops into her room. "About what you were saying earlier," he says "Were you joking?" She feels the corners of her lips tugging up. "Rowan whitethorn, I never lie about wanting to get laid." Aelin pulls him in, closing the door shut behind them, and kisses him. That kiss is her awakening, its warm and sensual, and everything she wanted. It's rough and full of hatred and desperation. None of them want it, but both of them need it. He pulls back, panting. "Are you sure?" Aelin nods. "We're enemies." "I know," "We're going to regret this," "I know that, too," and-not giving him another chance to speak, Aelin pulls him back in, moaning into the kiss. He runs his tongue against the seam of her lips, and she opens up for him, feeling herself unraveling. He pulls back again, "bed." The sound is guttural, a command that makes her weak in the knees. "Now." she can hardly get there fast enough. He un fastens his belt, pulling down his pants and shirt, stripping down to his boxers.

He crawls over to her on the bed, nearing his mouth to that flimsy strap on her shoulder. "I hate you," She breathes out. He bites the strap, pulling it down her shoulders. "Me too," and with that, he completely strips her, leaving her bare infront of him. Aelin leans over to remove his boxers, and almost moans at the sight.

Without any warning, Rowan thrusts in, earning a loud, needy moan. His pace is perfect, fast, efficient and so fucking good. They both know they shouldn't be doing this. This is getting the edge off, both of them want each other, and it's driving them insane. They're both using each other to dull that edge. He hits that spot, the one that she needs, and she whimpers, tightening her grip in his hair, "Fuck, Rowan-!" all the feelings she's been having drive over the edge, and she feels release, heaving and whimpering a sound that might be his name.

He continues, and there's something right, she thinks, something right in Rowan using her for his pleasure. His pace is relentless, and finally, he comes too. They both lay there, a panting, sweaty mess, but Aelin pushes him off her, getting on top of him and positioning herself above his dick. She pulls herself down on him, bouncing on it, and Rowan moans, "gods-Aelin!" She bounces on top of him, seemingly hitting all the right spots according to his continuous moans. She grins down at him, "What, already tired?" Rowan looks up at her, "Not a chance, Aelin," Proving his point, Rowan slaps her ass from behind and she moans, fastening her pace. Rowan continues to play with and occasionally slap her butt, all while Aelin moans on top of him, her chest bouncing along with her. This time, they both come at the same time,and their moans echo into the room.

Rowan glances at the clock on top of the fireplace, and swears. "I have to go." Without any further explanation, he runs into the shower, leaving in five minutes fully clothed and exits the room. Aelin stays in the bed, thinking.

Tag list:

@mariaofdoranelle

[mariacallous]

Bourekas, boyos and bulemas are flaky, savory pastries, and just might be the crowning jewel of the Sephardic kitchen. Potato or eggplant bourekas, cheese boyos or spinach and cheese bulemas are traditionally served as part of the Sabbath desayuno (Ladino for “breakfast,” and a tradition in communities of the former Ottoman empire). These trademark baked goods are usually accompanied by Kalamata olives, kashkaval cheese and huevos haminados, eggs that have been baked overnight with onion skins, oil and pepper to achieve a golden-brown color and a wonderfully smoky, caramelized flavor.

Bulemas are related to “bollos de pan,” a dish invented in the Sephardic kitchen as a way to use up stale bread. (“Bollos” in Spanish means balls and “pan” means bread.) By soaking the bread in milk, flavoring it with spices and cheese, rolling the resulting dough into balls and then frying, the Sephardic Jews who settled in Istanbul and Izmir created a flavorful snack. Bolloswere so popular that soon cooks replaced stale bread with a dedicated flaky, crusty dough just for them. Along the way, the spelling changed to boyos. Boyos or boyikos de keso are a delicious cheese pastry that incorporates cheese in the dough. 

Bulemas, which confusingly are sometimes also called boyos, are made with the same dough. The dough is rolled out flat, sprinkled with Parmesan cheese, stuffed with a fresh spinach and feta cheese filling, rolled into a snail-like coil, brushed with an egg wash and sprinkled with finely grated Romano cheese. The bulemas are quickly baked in a very hot oven and the result is crispy, flaky, cheesy heaven. 

Making bulemas is a time-consuming endeavor but they are so worth the effort. They are a perfect food to serve as an appetizer, hors d’oeuvres, snack or as a light meal with salad. Bulemas are one of those foods that store beautifully in the freezer and can be reheated and still taste absolutely perfect. So grab a baking partner, triple the recipe, and spend a morning kneading, rolling and stuffing dough to bake some delicious bulemas. 

Notes:

While fresh spinach is preferable, frozen spinach can be substituted. Ensure that it is defrosted and all liquid squeezed out.

Freeze cooled bulemas in a tightly sealed container or freezer bag. To reheat, preheat oven to 350°F, place frozen bulemas on a parchment-lined baking sheet and bake for 10-15 minutes.