#breaking news mina has cried about space yet again

[wilhelmina-murray-harker]

i think one of the reasons why i love space so much is because it brings out the kindest part of humanity. really, more than anything, we just want to connect with others

so many of the greetings on the golden record ask how the listener is. they wish for peace and good things to happen. one asks if the listener has eaten yet

[kingtomura]

Cat and mouse

synopsis: Your ex boyfriend has some nerve texting you at three in the morning — an entire week after the disaster breakup you had. You should really go over there and give him a piece of your mind. Well, you know what they say about famous last words.  wc: 6.1k | crossposted to ao3 content: tomura shigaraki x female reader, no quirks au, toxic tomura, reader is kinda toxic too tbh, unhealthy relationships, breaking up and making up, vaginal fingering, overstim, breeding kink, piv, dubcon creampie, degredation, threats of baby trapping, hurt/comfort, sweet at the end idc

You’ve told your friends time and time again to stay out of your business. They never listen. 

“Oh my god, Kirishima? Is he even twenty yet?” You drag as you watch your friend flip through several pictures of the redheaded boy like he was a member of the bachelor. 

She smiles, scrolling her phone for more options, “no, but he will be in a couple of months!”

“No!” Your words are sharp. You love Mina but god, you don’t want her to play matchmaker with you. It’s not like you’re a charity case or something. 

She gasps and you swear you could see the lightbulb go off above her head. “What about Denki? He’s fun!” 

You groan, falling back onto the bed and covering your eyes with your arm. “Mina.” 

“Hey, just give her a break okay? It’s only been about a week.” Your saving grace Yaoyorozu speaks up and it’s nice to finally have someone on your side. 

“Thank you.”

“Seriously? So we’re just going to sit around and watch you mope about all day?” Mina questions, irritation clear in her voice and it grates your ears.  

“Preferably, yes! Just let me be.” You roll over, face officially shoved into your pillow. It’s been a rough couple of days and you haven’t gotten a single call or text from Tomura. Not that you should be expecting one. You broke up with him after all. 

It’s just.. this time feels different. Usually there’s more arguing and he’s fighting for you to stay around, but this time there was nothing. No quips, no insults, just “fine, get out then.”

That hurt the most. 

You had no idea what he was up to. 

Maybe he was as depressed as you were. 

Maybe he’s found someone else. 

The thought makes you stop in your tracks. The idea of Tomura, your tomura with someone else is enough to make you nauseous. 

You jump to your feet and rush to the bathroom, locking yourself in and falling to your knees. 

God, what if that was why it was so easy?

You pull out your phone, the device lighting up and unlocking with your facial id. 

Tomura doesn’t use social media much but you could still check to see if he’d blocked you. 

To your surprise, he hadn’t. 

He hasn't posted anything either and there’s no new person in his followers. 

You feel yourself exhale a breath you didn’t realize you had been holding. No change is a good thing. 

There’s knocking on the door and you thank the stars you locked it. Your friends would judge you so hard if they saw you lurking through your ex’s social media. 

“Hey, are you okay in there?” It’s your saving grace Yaoyorozu again and you almost feel bad for shutting her out. 

“Yeah, I’m sorry if it feels like I pressured you! I’ll give you some space.” Mina's regretful voice calls and it makes your heart clench. You know she means well but she just doesn’t understand. None of them do. 

Whether you want to admit it or not, you love Tomura. 

Yes, you argue and yes, you fight, but he just gets you. He’s so cynical, but so caring — in his own special way. Too bad he was such an asshole. The argument wasn’t even supposed to go that far. 

There are tears beginning to blur your vision and you wipe them away, willing the feelings down and standing to your feet. 

If he wanted you to stay away, then fine. You could do that. 

You splash cool water onto your face and take a breath, steeling yourself and getting ready to face your friend once more. It was Saturday and they were convinced you needed a fun girl’s night.

It takes a lot to refrain from cringing at the phrase, but you believe they held some truth with the idea. You definitely didn’t want to be alone right now.

You unlock the bathroom door, meeting Mina and Yaoyorozu’s worried expressions with a smile. 

“We should probably get ready now, huh?”

Mina’s eyes light up, smile blinding and excitement contagious.

“Yes! Jirou and the others are here now.” She starts to clap, excitement buzzing around her, “Girl’s night is going to be amazing!” 

—-

Girl’s night was a bust.

The moment everyone arrived the apartment quickly filled with chaos. Noisy and busy, it was all giving you a headache. Until someone decided it would be a good idea to pregame before going out.

In preparation for the night your friend’s insisted that you get dolled up, hair makeup and skimpy clothes you wouldn’t look twice at on any normal day. 

You had to admit it made you a little more excited to get out and at least feel like your world isn't crashing around you. It was supposed to be a fun little night out. Somehow one drink turned into two, which turned into three which turned into Mina swearing she could beat everyone in a dance battle. 

The group only got more riled up as everyone indulged in this silly challenge. 

One challenge leads to another, which leads to more drinking, which then ends in everyone being too drunk to function and knocking out — all laid out in odd places around your living room floor and couch. 

The groggy feeling came first, your arms radiating in dull pain as you vaguely recalled trying to beat Mina in a contest of who could do the most push ups. It sure as hell wasn't you, but the drunk version of you thought it was possible to move mountains. 

You blink a few times, trying to will your eyes to rapidly adjust to the darkness of the room and find out what this odd buzzing noise beside you had been. Turning over, you find your phone, squinting as the too bright screen lights up your face and you see that it is three a.m.

You had fallen asleep with everyone else.

The phone buzzes again, lighting up and you have to squint further to read the contact name.

Tomura. 

Your eyes widen as you scan over the three texts he’s sent you. 

Wasting no time, you rush to your feet and into the bathroom so you can look at your phone without the chance of prying eyes overlooking your shoulder. Even though they were probably going to be out until late morning.

Tomura’s messages were short, no paragraphs, no essays but three different messages sent in succession. 

When are you coming to get your shit?

I’m tired of waiting.

And I’m deleting our farm btw. 

The first two messages don’t get much of a reaction from you, especially since it’s three a.m and he knows you’re usually asleep around this time. 

But the third message…

Your Stardew Valley farm that you’ve had and worked on together for almost two years being put on the line and threatened? What the fuck was his problem?

This farm was a constant in your relationship. Throughout the ups and downs and back and forths. You were sure that hell would freeze over before you both would give up that progress. But here he is, threatening you while you would have been asleep. What an asshole.

Your feet are moving before your brain can stop them and you make your way to the front door. Since your friends were all passed out it would be easy to sneak over to Shigaraki’s place, give him a piece of your mind and then sneak back. In and out, quick and easy. 

Your decision is made and you grab your coat, deciding to just go over there as you are. You hadn’t changed out of your outfit that was supposed to be for the night out, but it didn’t matter. You only needed to get over there and get there fast.

Once you arrive at Tomura’s doorstep you waste no time knocking. It’s around three in the morning so he should still very much be awake. 

There's a chill in the air as you wait for his answer and you wrap your jacket closer to your body. A rumble of thunder caught your attention and it's then you notice the rain clouds rolling in. You knew it would only be a matter of time before the bottom of the sky falls out and rain drenches everything. You were on borrowed time if you wanted to make it back before then.

After what feels like forever the door finally opens, revealing a very cozy pajama-clad Tomura, who seemed a little too pleased for his own good — if that sly smile he was doing a bad job at hiding was anything to go by. 

You don't give him a chance to greet you or say anything for that matter, stopping his words in their tracks as you cut him off. “What do you want?”

He doesn’t bother hiding his smirk now, the expression making your fists clench and your anger boil. “What do I want? You’re at my door, in front of my apartment.” He scoffs, clearly getting the exact reaction he had wanted from you, “I should be asking what do you want?” 

Caught like a deer in headlights. Whatever, you don't let that stop you as you pull out your phone to show him his text. “You sent this, I know you’re bluffing. What do you want?”

Tomura shrugs, leaning against his door frame and giving you a pleased look. Expression relaxed and content. Not a care in the world. “To talk.”

“Well, I'm here now, so let’s talk.” You spit, crossing your arms and waiting for whatever else he would throw at you. 

“Sure, but you should come in first.” He starts, looking up towards the darkened sky, confirming his assessment. “It’s gonna rain soon, you know.”

Of course you knew that. 

You just didn’t want to give him more time than you had. But you agree and go in, ignoring the fighting feeling in the back of your mind screaming at you to turn away and hightail it out of there. 

Tomura’s home is the exact way it was the day you left, give or take a few more containers of takeout littered around the place. You have half a mind to scold him about it, but quickly remember that it isn’t your place to do that anymore. 

So instead you stay quiet, following him into the apartment and into the living room. Opting to stand as he sat, and resisted the urge to get comfortable. 

“So, what do you want to talk about?” You try, done watching him pick up a controller and boot up a video game. Seriously? 

Your patience was wearing thin now as you watched him ignore you to play some stupid game. You try calling to him again, knowing this was probably a waste of your time and groans.

“I was in the middle of something before you got here. Let me finish and we’ll talk.” It's flippant the way he waves you off and continues the game. The lack of care only hurting your feelings further and making you realize this may have all been a big mistake on your part.

You shouldn’t be at your ex boyfriend’s house being ignored. You should be at your house getting drunk and hanging out with your best friends. There was no reason to stay somewhere you’re obviously not valued.

It’s a simple choice when you put it into perspective. 

But things are always easier said than done. 

You sigh, the air puffing out your cheeks, a bad habit you had when angry, and walk right in front of Tomura’s TV. There was more satisfaction in making him lose the game and then announcing your departure than just leaving quietly. 

He cranes his neck to see around you, but it doesn’t work, finally giving up as his character inevitably dies. “What!?”

“I’m leaving!” You announced, turning on your heel and heading towards the front door.

“You had to make me lose first? I said I was almost done!” He spat back, rising from the couch to follow you.

You shrug, “I don’t care. Why invite me in if you’re just going to ignore me?”

“Didn’t think you had the patience of a child.'' Tomura stands in front of you, cutting through your path and stopping you in your tracks.

It's almost comical the way he insults you. “Okay pot, meet kettle.” You try to brush past him, but he side steps with you. 

“What are you dressed like that for anyway? Did you go out tonight or something?”

“No!” You deny, a little louder than intended and then pause. “But it’s none of your business what I do anyway.”

Tomura hums at this, taking the words in and running them through his mind as he gives you a once over, eyes scanning from the too-tight shirt you wore — showing a generous amount of cleavage, down to your mini skirt that left little to the imagination. 

“Could've fooled me.”

“What do you mean by that?” You hate when he gives you cryptic answers, like it’s impossible to pry into his mind to see what he was thinking at the moment. 

“You knew you were coming to see me so I dont get why you're wearing that skimpy shit. Unless you wanted me to check you out.”

“Not everything is about you, Tomura. Maybe I just wanted to dress up and look nice.”

“Bullshit—”

“God, Tomura you always fucking do this!” You yell, walking right up into his face. The excitement in his scarlet eyes sends a chill up your spin, but you can’t back down. 

He gets closer, matching your tone and you can still see the grin he’s trying to hide. It makes you see red. “Do what? Tell you the truth? You know I’m not wrong.”

“Yeah, you think you know everything, but you don’t. I’m dressed up because I want to be, not because of you.” You’re insisting at this point, frustration threatening to tip over and spill out into the form of another pointless argument. Why did you think you could actually come over and have a decent conversation with him?

Tomura is a master at getting under your skin and hitting where it hurts. In all of your arguments he’s never really pulled out the big shots but you wouldn’t put it past him to do so now. 

“Oh, so you come over to my place dressed like a slut and you expect me to believe you don’t have some hidden motive?”

And there it is.

Your last straw. He could be so egotistical and mean — you’ve had it. 

You regret it the moment you do it, but your body moves before your brain can process your actions. You push Tomura. Hard. 

He doesn’t fall back far but you know it’s enough to piss him off. And he’s never been one to hold anything back, so he shoves you back and your back hits the wall. 

Tomura has you pinned before you know it and there’s a thrill that runs through your body in a way you know you shouldn’t be feeling. Your knees feel weak for reasons that are not related to fear and your panties were gradually becoming more wet. 

His voice is low and his eyes are narrowed as he pins you against the wall, pressing your cheeks together with his other hand. “You’re really starting to piss me off.”

You have to bite back a smile, knowing this has taken a turn and you aren’t strong enough to stop where it’s going. Not that you would want to. 

“Oh yeah? If I piss you off so badly then why are you hard?”

He doesn’t look down. He can feel his own arousal just as well as you can while it’s pressed against your abdomen. 

Tomura pushes off of you — maintaining some distance as he turns away. 

“You’re fucking annoying.”

“Sure am.” You supply, chipper and certain as you trail behind him. 

He’s walking further into the apartment, and you follow. Legs moving on their own accord as you go further into the lion's den, exchanging quips and insults. You jab your finger into his shoulder, bothered by the way he continues to ignore you, it's a pathetic attempt at catching his attention and it works. Kind of. 

The only response being him slapping your hand away with a glare and muttering a soft fuck off as he walked on. 

You both went back and forth. Like the sun and moon, you just can’t stay away from each other.  

It was how these things usually went between you and Tomura. He would start up, make a petty argument and you would never back down. Tomura is someone who was used to getting his way and others simply did what he said with no objections. 

But that was not how you were.

And he loved it.

You knew by the way he would get that devious glimmer in his eye when you would challenge a point, starting up a debate. Sometimes they were heated enough to make you both break up. It never lasted more than a few days. A week being the longest.

Push and pull. 

Tomura made his way past you again, ignoring your calls about how you hate being ignored. At this point you’re sure he’s doing it on purpose to rile you up more but you can’t help but take the bait. You grab his shoulder, forcing him to turn around and face you as you point a finger in his face. 

“Stop walking away from me!” 

He grabs your wrist and pulls you closer, making you stumble on your feet and almost lose balance. You were so close you could feel the heat from his body and smell the fresh linen scent of his shirt. “Don’t tell me what to do.” 

You snatch your wrist away from him, tension between you two growing hotter by the second as the space between you got thinner. 

“What are you going to do about it?” 

The narrowing of his eyes only made your grin grow wider as you watched the gears turn in his head as he thought about just how many things he would do about it. All of it enticed you, so you beat him to the punch. 

You reach forward again, fully intending to shove his shoulder again for another reaction, another glare, maybe even more words, but he stops you. It was fast, the way you both tumbled through the hallway as Tomura crashed his lips to yours. The relief of finally feeling his lips again meshed with the excitement of how rough he was with you. 

You lose yourself in the kiss, welcoming him in with open arms as you vaguely register the dark walls of his room and posters plastered along the walls in your scuffle.

It was exciting, probably the best part of breaking up and making up. At this point you think the whole point of falling apart is coming back together again. An endless cycle where the reward is worth the punishment. 

Cat and mouse. 

You end up on top of him, straddling his hips while your smug smile beams down at him. Tomura gives you an unamused look in return, yet the way his hands rested on your thighs gave away the ill hidden interest. It was all the encouragement you needed as you leaned down, hovering above him with both hands on his chest. 

“Not so tough now, are you?”

It’s bait. You know it’s bait, he knows it’s bait, but he takes it anyway — the way you knew he would. 

Tomura wastes no time flipping the both of you over, quickly reversing your positions as he settled himself between your legs. It’s dangerous the way his actions riled you up further, and you have to bite your lip to keep the smile from betraying your false anger. You couldn’t let him know how excited you were to be back in his bed. 

He presses your cheeks together and rocks your head left to right, tone mocking and eyes wild with fever, “Oh, look who’s become a firecracker all of the sudden. Where did that flame come from, huh?”

You want to respond, but Tomura beats you to it, releasing your cheeks and pointing a nimble finger against your forehead, “Don’t be dumb.”

His eyes trail from yours and then down to your lips, then finally down to your exposed cleavage. The movement was swift as he cupped one of your breasts in his hand and dipped down, claiming your lips again. It was softer than the first time but not by much, especially not when he matched his pace by grinding his clothed erection into you, making you moan at the contact. 

Your skirt was so short and it made you feel even more exposed than you already were. Tomura had easy access to you and the thin fabric of your panties made everything feel so much closer. 

You moan at the contact, swiping your tongue against Tomura’s bottom lip and wasting no time deepening the kiss as you pull him closer. You needed more and you needed it as soon as possible. 

Tomura pulled the low cut front of your shirt down, easily exposing your breasts from the confines of the shirt and massaged them, his thumbs rubbing soothing circles against your nipples and making you cry out from the sensitivity. 

He pulls away from you, eyes gazing into yours and you swore in that moment he put you in a trance. Tomura’s ruby red gaze always left you mesmerized and you can’t help the whimper that leaves your lips, brows furrowed and eyes wanting, “Please.”

“Please what?” And he’s not taunting you, he’s not mocking you. His eyes are soft as he brings a hand to your cheek. “Tell me what you want.”

“You.” Fuck, you’ve missed him. “I just want you.”

There’s a hint of a smile on his face as he strokes your cheek, soft look in his eyes making your heart flutter, and then it’s gone. Replaced by a hardened gaze as he moves to remove your shirt and bra, fully exposing you to his hungry eyes, and then moves to remove your short skirt. 

His hands hover there for a moment, debating whether or not he should keep it on and fuck you in it, but then decides against the idea and pulls it off, taking your soaked panties down with it as well. 

The air in the room feels cool against your skin as you shiver in anticipation. 

“Fuck,” Tomura whispers, now eye level with your cunt. You gasp as he runs two fingers between your wet folds and holds the digits up to show you. Syrupy clear slick clung to them, slowly trailing down as Tomura rose back up, eye level with you once more. 

“You’re so wet…” He murmured, bringing the digits to your mouth and you opened, taking them into your mouth and tasting yourself. You kept eye contact as you watched his eyes widen in delight — Tomura loved it when you put on a show for him.

There’s another moment of Tomura pressing against your tongue with his fingers and then he pulls them out, opting for a kiss in exchange, his tongue dipping into your mouth and groaning  as he could taste what’s left of your slick on you as well.

The pleasant feeling and linguid action of your movements made your shoulders relax as you practically melted into his soft bed, the feeling of his body above yours bringing you mountains of comfort. It was a distraction, of course. 

You felt the same two of Tomura’s fingers prod at your slick entrance before pressing in fully and all the way down to the knuckle. The stretch was intense but the pressure was euphoric, making you squeeze your eyes shut and grip him closer. 

He didn’t make you wait long as he pumped his fingers, quickly finding that sensitive spot so deep inside of you that only he could pinpoint and brushing against it over and over. 

The feeling was so good it made you pull away from the kiss to breathe, thighs twitching and toes curling in pleasure. You wouldn’t last long like this.

“Tomura, fuck..!” You moaned, drowning in ecstasy as he continued his abuse of your spot, never letting up or slowing down, aiming to make you cum as quickly as he could. It was obvious he wanted you to come undone as soon as possible by the way he watched your every expression. 

The way your brows furrowed to the way you bit your lip. Tomura eagerly drank every expression and gave it back to you in the form of pleasure. 

“What?” He started, unphased by your dilemma, “Gonna cum?”

It took a lot of focus and effort, but you nod — done with fighting for the night and accepting the fact that you will come apart quickly. So you give in to the pleasure. 

Tomura smiles, a devious grin splitting his features as he curls his fingers, hitting the spot one more time for good measure and you lose composure, your climax crashing into you like a tidal wave. There was nothing you could do besides ride the feeling while holding on to Tomura tight — like you would get swept away if you didn’t. 

He fucks you through it with his fingers, eyes never leaving your face as you come down from your high. 

“Pent up, huh?” He questions, and this time there is that little hint of teasing. It brings you back to reality. 

Yes, you have been pent up. You haven’t been able to get off to anything since you’ve broken up and it’s been hell. 

You have no time for the games, you just want him and you want him now. 

So, you take Tomura’s face in your hands, making him look you in the eyes. The flecks of black in his carmine eyes always makes you remember why you come back. Every single time. 

“Fuck me, please, Tomura.” It's soft and filled with desire that you cannot be bothered to hide, and Tomura has never been one to deny you.

He quickly discards his own clothes, making sure to not stay away from you for long. His cock is hard and leaking precum from the head as he strokes it in preparation. You feel giddy at the thought and watch as he slides the head of his cock between your folds, coating it with your slick, and rubbing against your clit. The action makes your hips twitch up towards him. 

He loves to tease and make you wait, but today he doesn’t make you wait long. Tomura leans down after lining himself up with your entrance and places his free hand behind your head, right above the nape of your neck. His hands were warm and the feeling of those hands cradling your head felt so comforting in the space of his familiar dark bedroom. 

You bring a hand to his hair, tangling your fingers in his ashen locks as he pushes forward. The stretch makes you whimper and Tomura captures your lips in a kiss again, swallowing the noises and releasing a groan of his own as your walls tighten around his cock. 

There's something about the way Tomura drags his hips, the way he starts off at a slow pace, winding you up as he steadily increases his speed and force. It happens so gradually that you don't realize you’re screaming his name until he tells you to shut up — threatening to cover your mouth because he didn't want his neighbors to hear how much of a slut you were.

It drove you mad the way he said it all with a smile and fucked you harder. Almost daring you to be louder so he can punish you with a hand over your mouth.

Tomura knew how rough you liked it and he always delivered, giving you back arching pleasure as he pounded into you. It leaves you gasping and struggling to keep your voice down. Your hands find the surface of his back, trying to hold on as much as you could with building pleasure on the horizon. 

“Tomu— Tomura..! Please,” you cry and he doesn’t miss a beat, driving his cock so deep against your sweet spot it makes you see stars. “Fuck..!” 

“Yeah, that’s it.” Tomura cooed, eyes filled with mischief as he brought you closer to the edge. “Cry for me.”

And you do, your body feeling euphoric as the feeling buzzed up your spine and filled your brain with the fuzz of ecstasy. 

“What are you gonna do, huh?” He starts, his hips grinding against you, the closeness of his pelvis rubs against your clit, making you cry out again, “What are you gonna do when I breed this pretty cunt and make sure you’re stuck with me forever?”

He’s bluffing, you know Tomura doesn’t want kids. He’s just trying to gauge your reaction. Your dedication. 

“Tomura…” You only moan, breath catching as he hits that spot inside you that he knows so well. 

Tomura is smiling, wild and devious, as you look up at him with glossy eyes, so close to crying from the feelings, “I’m gonna do it. I’ll make you mine forever and you can’t do anything about it.” 

“Ah!” You should stop him, tell him to calm down but he has your eyes rolling to the back of your head and your back arching off of the bed. Everything is blurring together and you can only slur words as the drool from your earlier kiss trails down your cheek. 

You are completely at his mercy like this and you know your friends would be beyond disappointed.  

It just feels so good the way his cock drags in and out of your body pulling moans and whines from your throat. He was relentless in the way he pounded into you — beyond the point of being soft and slow because he knows that’s exactly you like it. 

“Say you want it.” The command comes with the slowing of his hips and you whine, high and needy as Tomura slows to a near stop.

“Tomura, I—“

“Say you want it or I swear to god I’ll stop right now.” It’s a threat and you don’t want to find out if he’ll go through with it. Tomura never goes back on his word. 

“No, please, don’t— I want it!” you pant, frustrated and aching for more movement.

“I want you to,” you stammer, desperate to have your release. “I don’t care if you cum in me. I need you so bad.”

“That’s my girl,” He coos, dipping his head down onto your shoulder, “Fuck.. love you s’much”

You stop — you’ve never heard him say that. Ever. You doubted he would ever say it since it’s been so long. 

He doesn’t give you a chance to ruminate on it because he's picking up the pace again and giving you the friction you were so deeply in need of. The feelings are swimming in your head as your cries reach new heights. Tomura is too far gone to stop you or care and you’re thankful. You couldn’t stop yourself if you tried. 

The build of your orgasm crashes down and sends you with it, making your thighs quiver in pleasure and your eyes squeeze shut. Tomura’s mouth meets yours before you could cry out, the warmth of his tongue guiding you as he fucked you through it. 

He didn’t last long after, the way your walls tightened around him with the force of your orgasm has Tomura’s pace erratic as he chased his own high. 

The bed shook as Tomura finally finished, hips stuttered as he released inside of you, hot seed coating your insides and making heat rise to your cheeks. He really did it.

You watch as he slows to a stop above you, his eyes closed as he enjoys the feeling of release. Tomura’s breathing was heavy and you couldn’t stop yourself from bringing him down into another kiss, traveling from his lips to his cheeks and then back again. 

It was intimate and you were worried it may have been too much, given the reason you were both in this situation was because of a stupid breakup. 

Tomura’s pulls out of you, making you wince and taking the feeling of being so full away from you. He doesn’t go far, opting to stay on top of you and rest his head on your shoulder, wanting to keep you as close as possible. 

“You really piss me off.” He mumbles into your shoulder, out of breath and tired. “God, why can’t you just stay with me.”

“Tomura…” Your hands run through his hair, the sweat is making it stick to his forehead as you wait for him to keep talking. 

“Stop leaving me.” His voice is firm, unwavering.

“You told me to go.” 

“I didn’t think you fucking would. I would never actually want you to.”

“I can’t read between the lines Tomura, I’m not in your head.” You make him look at you this time, pulling his hair a little to get him to raise his head. “Did you mean it?”

“I just said I didn’t—“

“No, the other thing you said.” He gives you a look of pure confusion and you lose a little bit of hope, “when you said you loved me?” 

You stare into his carmine eyes, hoping, praying it wasn’t just pillow talk from the heat of the moment. 

He looks at you for a long time, frustration still wearing on his features. If you didn’t know any better you would say he was pouting. “Of course I meant it. I’ve always felt like that.”

“But you’ve never said it!”

“I show it!”

“How?” This is getting frustrating and going in circles. 

He groans, sitting up and taking his warmth with him. “I’m not going to sit here and list everything I’ve ever done for you. I don’t think it works like that.”

You open your mouth to counter, irritation on your tongue because that’s not what you meant, but Tomura stops you again. 

“I don’t know how to explain it, okay?” He shakes his head and sighs, laying next to you on the bed and looking up at his ceiling. “It’s weird. I have these strong feelings, but it’s not hate, it's not anger. It's the opposite of that.”

You stare at him as he focuses ahead, keeping his eyes trained on the uninteresting ceiling above.

“Father said it’s a weakness and I should feel that way but,” There’s a pause as he looks away from the ceiling, meeting your eyes finally, “if it’s so weak of me, then why are the feelings so strong?” 

Your heart aches. It's clear that he’s torn, and with the strange way he was raised you know that he can’t help the way he is. 

“Tomura…” 

“And it won’t go away. I can’t fight them down or push them away like I can with everything else. It eats me up and I… guess I lash out because of it.” He shakes his head and for the first time Tomura looks defeated. You’ve never seen him this way — he’s always been filled with confidence and self assured. “I just don’t know what to do.”

You bring a hand to his cheek as you press your forehead against his. It kills you that this is what’s been on his mind and you aren’t sure what you could do to fix it. Maybe there was nothing you could do, physically, but you would do your best to be there for him emotionally.

“Sometimes,” you try to be careful with your words, knowing how much Tomura looks up to his foster father even though the man has been nothing but strange to him. “People say things that aren’t true because they don’t know how to live with it.”

Tomura’s guardian cannot live with love nor the idea of it. 

“That doesn't mean you have to live that way.” 

And it’s the truth. 

Tomura doesn’t say anything, just watches you with heavy lidded eyes, ruby red nearly glowing in the low light of the room. He was so much more than what people thought they knew of him and you didn’t care if it took time for others to see that.

He leans in, closing his eyes and you meet him halfway into a kiss. 

It's warm and it's soft and you know that even when your phone is buzzing from dozens of missed calls and texts from your friends, it will be fine. 

You and Tomura would take things one day at a time.

[thotforbaku]

Hi! I wasn’t sure how to send a request, but could you write a one shot for shouto x fem! reader? Maybe they’re on a date or in the dorms (idk aha go crazy) and he’s super gentlemanly and soft! Ft. Class 1-A catching/following them! Thank you so much!

hello! yes, this was the correct way to request, haha. thank you for being my first request! i hope my writing fulfilled your request to your satisfaction. if not, lmk asap! i’ll try to change it around for you :)

word count: 1.6k

»»——⍟——««

Contrary to popular belief, Todoroki was actually quite perceptive. He knew he didn’t have the best track record, i.e. his hand crusher moments and the whole “Midoriya being All Might’s secret love child” conspiracy. Regardless, he still picked up on the smallest things, especially when it came to his classmates.

When Kaminari forgot his homework, volts would zap from his fingertips as he drummed them on his desk nervously. When Mina was eavesdropping, her feet would be pointing towards whoever she was listening to. Dark Shadow snuck out occasionally during class, signaling that Tokoyami was running low on sleep from studying the night before.

And then there was you.

He hadn’t particularly tried to focus all of his attention on to you initially. No, you were just another one of his classmates. He wasn’t interested at all, nor was he interested in anybody, really.

It was only when he encountered you at the sports festival that he took a liking to you.

Not only was your quirk powerful, but you yourself held an immense presence nobody could ignore. Your water manipulation quirk was controlled well by you, and you utilized it to the best of your ability. Besides this, however, he knew absolutely nothing about you.

You were an enigma, to him and everyone else around you. But he bet no one wanted to know you like he did.

He wanted to know you from the inside out, from head to toe. He wanted to know your favorite color, food, and movie. He wanted to know how were feeling on a daily basis. He had a desire, no, a need to know all of these things, yet he only knew one: you were tired.

You were absolutely, oh so very tired.

Now, anyone would have been able to tell this, if they took a good look at your swollen eyebags or your lethargic behavior. Todoroki has been seeing you train for hours on end, ever since Aizawa-sensei and you discovered your new ability: controlling water within one’s body. This allowed you to try and control one’s body movements against their will; it was an extremely manipulative, powerful technique.

But it was taking a severe toll you. Todoroki saw the aspirin you would take daily, and heard the extra strength pills rattling in your bag. He would see you pinch your eyebrows together in pain and screw your eyes shut whenever Bakugou would start screaming his head off. He wanted to help you, somehow in some way. He felt that you needed a break from your constant repetitive schedule of school, training, extra training, and sleeping. He wanted you to relax, to be able to talk to someone, and to pretend the world is stopping. He wanted to be there for you, for when you crash and fall down to help you back up again. He wanted you, unconditionally.

So imagine his surprise when you said yes to him asking to hang out.

It may have taken a little insistence on his part, and explanation that yes, he wanted it to be a date, but he did it. But now that you actually said yes, he honestly had no clue where to come from here.

So he pulled out the big guns.

At 5:00 in the evening, two hours before your training would end and come up to his room, he decided to start preparing food in the kitchen. Sure, it was a date, but he knew you were too tired to attempt to exit the dorms after a long day. So, he had the amazing idea of a movie night within his own dorm.

Of course, the food wasn’t anything too fancy, in his eyes. The only food he knew how to make really well was soba. Cold, soba.

But he made it damn well, and he knew it.

Todoroki had whipped up the soba immediately, and placed it within bowls to bring it up to his room later. He ignored the side eyes and surprised looks he received while he was moving around in the kitchen, and shuffling through the pantry. He only looked up when he heard someone clearing their throat.

“So, Todoroki-kun, you seem real busy.... Got a hot date?” Kaminari joked, grinning lazily as he wiggled his eyebrows.

“Yes.” Kaminari stopped at his straightforward reply, his grin frozen on his face, as he processed Todoroki’s reply. The common room went silent, as they also heard the conversation take place.

“Y-You’re— who?” Kaminari stuttered, eyes bugged out as he splayed out his hands in front of him. He opened his mouth to reply, but saw you shuffle through the front doors, hunched over like you had the world’s weight on your shoulders.

“With her.” Todoroki responded as he made his way towards you. He silently slipped your backpack off your shoulder and onto his, balancing the food on one arm and taking your hand onto his.

“How was training?” He asked, rubbing a thumb gently over the side of your hand, looking at your from the side.

“Tiring. I want to flop onto a bed and never get up.” You responded quietly, sagging even further.

“That’s exactly what you’re about to do.” Todoroki gave you a small smile as he unlaced your fingers from his, and unlocking his door.

“Huh?”

“I figured you’d be too tired to try and leave the dorms today, especially after all the training you’ve done. I know you’ve just been wanting to relax, so I figured our date could just be watching movies together.” Todoroki explained as he laid out the food on his desk and unfolding his futon.

“I.....” You seemed to trail off, your eyebrows furrowed as you stared at the ground. Todoroki hesitantly looked at you, afraid of what your reply was going to be now that you weren’t immediately answering. Did he do something wrong? Were you not a fan of movies? These thoughts raced through his head as he was cursing himself for not being more considerate.

“This is really thoughtful of you Todoroki-kun. I was worried that I wouldn’t be up to speed for our date, but to know that we’re just having a quiet night in the dorms? I... really appreciate it.” You looked back up, a tired but wide grin on your face, your eyes crinkling. He let out a small sigh of relief, and sat down on the futon, pulling out his laptop and setting it on his kotatsu. He patted the seat lightly next to him, smiling as you sat down, your knee brushing his.

“That’s good to hear. And, since we’re on a date currently, I think I’d feel more comfortable with you calling me by my given name.” He told you as he ripped open a bag of chips, passing it to you. You nodded in thanks, and quirked your lips in thought, mulling over what he said. You then nodded, seemingly comfirning your thoughts.

“Okay, Shouto-kun. What do you have planned for the night?” You asked, taking a chip and placing it in your mouth.

“A Studio Ghibli marathon.” You paused at his reply. He looked at you puzzled. He seemed to catch a lot of people off-guard today.

“.... I haven’t watched a Miyazaki film since my childhood..” You sighed, grinning at him happily. He stared at the grin painted on your face, burning it into his memory. He saw you smile twice now in one sitting, and he would cherish it for a long, long time.

“I did a good job of choosing the movies then, didn’t I?” He asked you, softly smiling as he offered you a bowl of a soba, already breaking his chopsticks in two. You clapped happily as his perfectly broke, passing yours to his to repeat it.

“You really did, Shouto-kun. I really can’t thank you enough. I was surprised when you had asked me out a date, I didn’t think you cared enough to talk to me.” You confessed, fiddling with a string on your jumper as you glanced up at him. He nodded simply, ducking his head to meet your eyes.

“I can see why I’d come off that way. I definitely wasn’t the most approachable in the beginning of the year. But with everything’s that happened, I realized that shutting everyone out wasn’t the best thing to do. And ignoring you, when I had a clear interest in you, definitely wasn’t either. You intrigue me so much. I want to find out and know every little thing about you. Will you let me?” He asked you, sincerity bleeding into his tone, his eyes darting all over your face.

“Of course.” You clasped both your hands over his, squeezing tightly. He let out another short sigh, shoulders sagging forward.

“Then let’s start the movie, shall we?” He leaned forward, and tapped the space bar, letting the blue light of the intro shine brightly onto your face. He smiled as he felt your head rest upon his, and brushed his hand over your knee.

It was finally his turn to try and unveil someone and their secrets. And it just so happened to be you.

____________________________________

“....Was someone at the door, Shouto-kun?”

“No, I believe the rest of the class is downstairs.”

Kaminari sighed in relief as Jirou continued to hold one of her ears the door, relaying the date to the rest of the classmates silently standing in the hallway.

“I can’t believe he bagged her before me.” Kaminari cried, blowing his nose into his sleeve. His classmates cursed at his noise, and scattered, scared of getting caught. “Wait, where are you guys going?”

“...Are you sure there’s no one there, Shouto-kun?”

[simplyyeol]

back then (when we used to)

—pairing; byun baekhyun x reader

—genre; fluff, college! au, childhood friends to nobodies to lovers! au lmao

—tws; swearing

—word count; 16.439 (whew)

—synopsis; when push comes to shove, and baekhyun suddenly appears in your life again taking your heart as he walked along the road beside you, you wonder if you really could have a happily ever after, with him, just like back then, when you used to.

—author’s note; hi guys! it’s me, cough, aj. you probably all forgot who i am right? well anyways! i made this after a long time of not writing since im on break. thank you all so much for the love you’ve given me so far. it means the world to me. i hope you love this one as much as my last work. thank you so much for supporting me !!11!11 (ugly cries)

“I mean, Baekhyun is cute and all, but I don’t know why you like like him that much if you haven’t even had a proper conversation with him,” Sehun explains as he takes a sip of his orange juice. “It seems kind of... farfetched, you know?” You roll your eyes as you take a bite of your sandwich. “Don’t be a drama queen.”

“I mean! Why don’t you like someone like...” he taps his chin in thought, fork stabbing through the lettuce leaves before he looks back to you, signature smirk in place. “Jongdae.”

You choke on the food.

“He’s pretty cute. And he’s really nice too. He’s even on the baseball team with Baekhyun and you guys seem to get along well. It’s a win-win situation.”

You shrug. “He’s cool, but he’s just a friend. And since when do you care about my love life?”

“Nonexistent love life,” he snarkily corrects and you stick your tongue at him.

“And you’re some best friend. Totally supporting me in my silent love affair.”

“I’m being realistic,” he defends, shrugging.

“And a horrible best friend,” you retort, grimly.

“Maybe you’re just going through this phase—” he starts.

“Okay, look,” you interject, dropping your sandwich on the table. “I have a crush on one of the star players of our college’s team. That just makes me one of the many of the girls fantasizing to be her. That’s all it is. Don’t worry, I’m not gonna throw myself at him and forget who I actually am or some stupid shit like that.” You narrow your eyes at him and pick up your sandwich. “Period.” And then you take a bite.

Sehun drops his fork in his bowl, the clatter ringing even through all the chatter in the cafe. “Wow, Y/N.”

“What?” you bark, bread in mouth, so it sounds more like ‘mwa.’ Even if Sehun is monotone in basically everything that comes out of his stupid mouth, you can hear the smirk.

He shakes his head. “Nevermind. But... since we’re already on this road. You know Park Chanyeol.”

You nod and swallow. “Yeah. Why?”

“Well, he gave me two tickets to his game since Mina and I were gonna go, but you know...” he trailed off and you look at him. He just broke up again with Mina. His now ex. They have an on and off relationship. You don’t really get it.

“I dunno,” you say, eyes flitting from the table to his face. You didn’t want him to go alone, sure, but more often than not, when he takes you to these kind of things, he usually gets sidetracked and well, forgets about you.

“Oh, come on, I won’t leave you this time, I swear,” he says, fist slamming the table.

“Sehun,” you breathe, talking to him as if he was a child. “You said that last time for that basketball guy’s party. And do you remember what happened then?”

His eyebrows furrowed and lips pursed. Apparently your best friend has horrible memory as well.

“You went home with Mina, asshole,” you spit. “And yes, you are my bestfriend and deserve the best romantic life, but you can’t just leave me. Jeez, you’re heartless, Sehun.”

“I won’t leave you this time,” he pleads once more, puppy eyes now in place, hands placed together under his chin. “Please, noona?”

You stick your tongue out at him and continue with your sandwich.

“Oh, come on, I want to go with my bestest friend in the world, and not anyone else. And we’ll have so much fun and I won’t even leave your side, or anything, and as a bonus! I will personally get you a jersey as an added bonus with a certain Byun printed on the back.”

Your eyes flicked to his for a split second at the sound of a certain man’s name.

“I can even arrange a chance at the after party for the two of us, so you can have some even more fun. There’s gonna be free drinks too!” he tries.

You raise an eyebrow at this offer.

“Free food, too!” he chimes.

“We’ll see,” is your final answer.

His straight posture is slumped at your answer, pout adorning his face as he dejectedly looked at his salad that was a part of his so-called, healthy diet, that he put together himself. His eyes flicked to yours as you took another bite of your BLT.

You waved it at him. “Want some?”

He looks back to his salad before dropping his fork and stretching his hand out. You hand the sandwich to him and he takes a few bites before giving it back to you.

The rest of lunch is spent in light banter, talk about classes and upcoming finals.

The two of you have been close since the start of college after there was a mix up in the dorm distribution and you ended up in the only co-ed dorm in college. With a playboy of course. You would think you’d somehow fall in love with him, but the boy being two years your dongsaeng, the spark was never there. He became a little brother figure who you could bully whenever he came over to you to gush about his new girlfriend at how pretty she is. It’s cute enough to pinch his cheeks like you were a distant relative who claimed to used to change Sehun’s diapers. He hated it, which is exactly why you loved it.

He doesn’t bring up the game until you see Byun Baekhyun walk through the cafe doors. You being the shy person that you are, immediately duck your head and finish the rest of your sandwich in one bite, and stand up announcing your departure to Sehun.

“What? I’m not finished yet, wait another minute. We’ll go together.”

“Uh, I actually forgot I’ve got to meet a friend before class starts,” you explain, twisting and untwisting your fingers, eyes locked on Baekhyun’s figure that was currently walking towards you and Sehun’s table, which was conveniently in front of the register. 

Sehun looks at you, nose scrunched then looking somewhere behind you, and then it dawned on him, your predicament. “Oh,” he breathes.

And Sehun being the asshole he is calls Byun Baekhyun over. You never wanted more for the ground to open up and swallow you whole than at this moment.

“Hey, Sehun, what’s up?” Baekhyun says, his honey voice rolling over you in waves. You couldn’t leave due to the iron grip Sehun had on your wrist, caging you and erasing all attempts of escape.

“Hey, hyung. I just needed an opinion. Do you know, Y/N?” Sehun nods to you and you freeze as Baekhyun finally sees you. You hold your breath, waiting for the answer on the tips of your toes even though you were the one who didn’t want it.

His eyes lock with yours and you see the warmth even standing nowhere close to him. You see the small mole on top of his lip, the bridge of his nose, the cherry pink of his lips and all you can think is how he hasn’t changed one bit. 

His eyes flit down to your wrist in Sehun’s hand and you quickly pull it away. Sehun doesn’t hold you back. And then he’s looking away as fast as he saw you, and you miss the warmth that he brought with just a look but you’re glad for the lack of his fierce gaze on you alone.

He hums. “Yeah, I know Y/N. We went to the same middle school but you probably already know that,” he states matter of factly. You purse your lips. Sehun didn’t know that.

Sehun’s jaw goes slack. “Wait, what?” He turns to you, eyes narrowed. “You never told me that!”

“Uhhh—” you dumbly respond as Baekhyun looks between the two of you.

“Right, I just wanted to know,” Sehun clears his throat, grasping Baekhyun’s attention once again, “if we could come to the party after the game?”

“Oh, you’re coming to the game?” He poses the question towards the both of you, but he only looks at you.

“Well, I’m going, but Y/N doesn’t know yet—”

“You should come,” Baekhyun states simply, looking into the depths of your soul. Your heart beats just the tiniest bit faster.

“I’ll see,” you mutter under your breath.

“Well, I’ll see you guys later then?” Baekhyun waves, the corner of his lips raised, and eyes sparkling in a way that only fits Baekhyun. 

Sehun’s arm falls on your shoulder as he rises to his full height, effectively breaking you out of the haze that Baekhyun put on you unknowingly. You scowl at him as you grab your backpack.

“How come you never told me this precious piece of information that came from Baekhyun himself. I’m so disappointed in you,” he remarks as you exit the cafe. You dare not look back.

You shrug, a small shiver running up your spine from the breeze. “It never came up.”

“Bullshit. This stuff is already supposed to be established in our,” he motions exasperatedly in the space between the two of you, “relationship.”

You snort. “I’m not dating you.”

“We’re best friends!”

“That we are,” you deadpan.

“Were you guys only classmates?” he inquires, shoving his hands in his pockets and blowing out a breath.

“If you’re asking if we dated, no. But we were friends, I guess.” 

An understatement but you don’t say.

Starting middle school in a whole new city was overwhelming to say the least. Having just moved to Seoul was already climbing in on itself over you. The whole car ride you refused to meet your parent’s eye on the trip to your new house. They pointed out famous landmarks and beautiful scenery of the ocean on the way, and yet, you refused, the stubborn 11-year old side of you coming out, as you blinked the tears away, never letting them fall.

And then came Baekhyun, a whirlwind of a boy, all smiling, eyes crescents, and hair a raven-colored ruffled. He flew into your life and you were grateful to him. He suddenly became a staple in your life but really you should’ve seen it coming sooner.

As fast as he entered, he left, and you didn’t like to think about whether it was your fault or his. One day, he stopped trying. Avoiding you, or maybe he just became too busy for you. He grew out of the pre-teen Baekhyun, a child in and of itself and became the popular teen Baekhyun who suddenly became the star of your junior high. You drifted apart, as Baekhyun entered the spotlight and you steered towards the sidelines, suddenly becoming a wallflower in Baekhyun’s life. And then you weren’t in it anymore. But you watched him grow up and everytime you passed him in the hallways in highschool and eventually college, a part of your heart clenched, happy that he was happy and sad because you couldn’t share that happiness with him.

Sehun saw the lingering glances, the almost spoken hello’s to the star player and deemed that you had a crush. He wasn’t wrong so you never corrected him.

“Earth to Y/N?” Sehun called, hand waving in front of your vision. You blinked, slowly turning over to him. “Blanked out there, for a little. You good?”

“Oh, um, yeah. Just thinking.”

“About a Byun Baekhyun?”

“Shut up,” you mumble and he snickers.

A few beats of silence pass as you walk side to side, shoulders brushing against each other.

“You’re not telling me something,” he says.

“No,” you respond.

“Yes,” he retorts.

“Whatever you say.”

“I’ll get it out of you, sometime. I already have a lead.”

“What? Are you Sherlock?” you tease, lips quirked.

He slides in front of you and you stop watching as he dumbly salutes, fingers all crooked. “Holmes, reporting for duty,” he announces.

You laugh and then he smiles. 

Most of the spots are filled when you enter the auditorium, a mess of hair, clothes and Y/N.

You spit out some of the hair caught in your mouth, which probably happened somewhere between where you left the pet store, your part-time job, in a hurry after seeing the time and from now, where you stood, just barely making it into class as the professor entered through the adjacent door . You got a little carried away with the new puppers that had just arrived and that was all your fault. Not that you regretted it, though.

The professor set up his laptop, plugging in wires and setting papers aside, that you really hoped weren’t of the test you took last week. You scrambled to your regular seat, right next to the TA, Kim Minseok’s desk, and next to Kim Jongdae. 

You dipped your head in greeting at Jongdae as you slipped past him to the seat and muttered your ‘hello’ to Minseok who waved you back.

“Please don’t tell me those are our tests from last week,” you say to absolutely no one. 

Jongdae, from beside you, hears this and turns to you. “Those are totally not our tests from last week.”

“Those are totally your tests from last week,” Minseok pipes from the other side of you. You swivel towards him, lips pursed, frown in place.

“Is it bad?” you ask, grimly.

“Can’t say,” he grins. 

“A hint?” you egg and Jongdae echoes your question.

Minseok shakes his head no and points towards the front just as the professor starts speaking. You melt into your seat, hoping that time would tick just the tiniest bit faster, if only to finish this hell you’re in.

45 minutes pass, not that you’re counting every second of it but you just happen to see after sneaking a glance at the clock hung on the opposite wall, when the professor finally announces the very dreadful thing that has you in a slump.

“And now for your tests!”

A series of groans echo your sentiments and you wait as he calls out the names of the other students, fists clenched, nails digging into the skin of your palm. He goes through a few people before stopping on the nervous human sitting right next to you.

“Kim Jongdae!” he calls and you give a pitiful look at Jongdae as he stands up to retrieve it. His face looks almost like a kicked puppy. The professor hands him the paper, says something, that you can’t hear (distance), or read (bad eyesight), but there’s a smile on his face. You sit at the edge of your seat waiting as Jongdae gets closer to you, his eyes lighting up as he reads the grade and when he comes to stand next to you, showing it to you, a cheshire-grin stretching across his lips.

Your jaw drops. “An A? That’s amazing!” He has his hand out towards yours and you high-five it, smiling for him. You sit back down waiting your turn, back straight, hairs raised.

“Y/N!” 

You get up, walking as fast as your legs could take you, grasping the paper with eager hands. The professor smiles and says that it was better than your last and then your walking back, not daring to peak at the letter.

“Did you see it?” Jongdae calls when you get back to your seat. 

You shake your head. “Can’t. You do it.”

You hand the paper to Jongdae and he chuckles leaning over. He faces the paper towards you, back slanting so he’s looking at it as well.

“A B!” you cry.

“An 89!” he exclaims.

“If you round up,” you start excitedly.

“An A!” he finishes.

“Yes!” you yell, fist pumping in the air and once again before exchanging another set of high-fives.

The two of you sit back at your seats ruffling through your tests exchanging answers for the questions you got wrong. The teacher rambles on about how well you all did this time, much better than the last. You paid it no attention, though, wincing as you saw another question you got wrong. You even remember studying about that one!

“Okay, students!” the teacher finally announces and you look up, setting the paper down on the table. “You’ll be doing a project—”

A series of groans cut him off.

“Now, now don’t be like that. It gets even better; you’ll be doing it in partners! The person next to you should do—oh! Would you look at the time? I better be off! Class dismissed!”

The screeching of chairs being pushed in, the mull of the chatter of students, and the scratching of pencils on paper fill the silence that the teacher brought and you stared at Jongdae, dumbfounded. And Jongdae stared at you.

“Is this real?” you breathed, voice ragged.

“I really hope not,” he answers back. “Maybe it's all just a dream.”

“More so a nightmare,” you remark.

Minseok snickers at the two of you. “Don’t be dramatic and get out of here, you two.”

You frown at Minseok as he shoots you out of the auditorium with the rest of the lingering students. You handle your bag, throwing it over your shoulder, carelessly, before turning to Jongdae who walked to your side with another classmate.

You wait for a gap in their conversation before pulling Jongdae away. “Do you have class right now?”

He shakes his head. “No, you?”

You mirror him, before cocking your thumb behind you, head tilted. “Library?”

“Better now than never,” he grins.

Jongdae steps off to the side when someone asks him something about plans on Friday night. You tell him you’ll save him a seat and wave before leaving, begrudgingly thinking about the fact that you wished to have plans on Friday night, ugh.

The library is vacant, spare the few students like you who thought to actually use it other than the librarian that no one ever sees. You tensely smile at a girl who you really can’t remember the name of but told her that one time in that one class after she made eye contact with you. A second later, though, no later, you looked away, wincing because if that wasn’t awkward. 

The tables in the library were settled in clusters if you make your way through the library, high shelves of the paperback on your left, and non-fiction on the right. It’s almost like a maze as you enter the space, and really it's no surprise, when you spot ten people. Max.

You take a seat at the nearest empty table, pulling out your textbook and your laptop. It only takes a minute for you to get sidetracked after you tap in your password the already open tab of Twitter pulling you in.

It wasn’t your fault really! The posts kept rolling in and sucking you deeper and when finally your throat felt parched and you took a sip of water, checking the time, still not seeing Jongdae, did you see half an hour had already passed.

“The fuck is the dude, doing?” you mutter under your breath, opening a seperate tab for your email. The chair across from you screeches and you think, finally, before your eyes land on the person currently sat across from you.

His hair was ruffled and the tip of his nose and cheeks were blushing red, as if he ran. And it wasn’t Jongdae.

“Oh,” he mumbles, more to himself. “Y/N.” A deep breath then, “hey.”

“Oh, um, Baekhyun. Hi,” you dumbly respond, stomach flipping at the sight of him. Your tongue had the sudden urge to fail you at the moment, barely making the cut.

“Sorry, to, um, bother your studying,” he starts, eyes flickering to your open screen which displayed the email log-in page. Thank god he did not see your Twitter account. Maybe you would have actually died. “But, uh, I’ll just sit here for a few minutes and then leave.”

The way he’s fidgeting in his seat makes it seem like he’s trying to avoid someone. “Oh, okay. That’s, um, fine?”

His eyes narrow at you as you purse your lips. Awkward. You are very awkward and you know that. You shuffle in your seat when he looks away and chuckles silently. “Thanks,” he says.

A few beats pass before you deem it awkward enough to drag your laptop closer to you, and look through the few emails that were unread in your inbox. Okay, lie. You weren’t actually reading. It was more so that your eyes skimmed over the same from email at fifteen times, your brain not registering the contact.

Baekhyun apparently decided to break the ice, starting with a deep breath. “So, what class are you working for?”

“Um, microbiology. I’ve got this partner essay and decided to get started on it,” you explain, biting your lip from a nervousness that you’re not sure the cause of.

“Partner?” he asks.

“Yeah... partner,” you repeat, thinking that he needed clarification.

“Oh, are you waiting for them?”

You nod. “He was literally right behind me too, jeez, what is he doing?” you ramble, picking up your phone and searching for Jongdae’s contacts.

Baekhyun doesn’t say anything else as you type a text to a certain essay partner.

jongdae!!!!

You set the phone back down on the table and sneak a peek at Baekhyun who looks, even at a first glance, stressed. Eye circles ring underneath his eyes, the hint of purple tinting his fair skin. His eyes look puffy, like he just took a nap, even though it's the middle of the day, and your heart clenches at the thought that he doesn’t get enough sleep. You notice the way his fingers drum silently along the table, his teeth worrying his chapped lips, like he’s always doing that. Maybe a habit...?

“Are you... okay?” The question comes tumbling out of your mouth in a hushed whisper, like some dirty secret that can’t be revealed. Your eyes rake over him with worry as he looks at you like a deer caught in the headlights.

He’s wary, his mouth opening and closing repeatedly as he forms an answer. “What do you mean?” he finally responds. Answering a question with a question. 

“You look tired,” you point, motioning to the undersides of his eyes. 

He winces, hands fisted as he rubs his eyes, laughing half-heartedly. “It’s nothing. Just got a big game to prep for—speaking of,” and then his eyes turn to you, determined, fiery, fist placed on the table and any sign of tiredness in his eyes vanished. “Are you going to come to the game?”

“Uh—”

“You’re going to the game?” 

Your head whips towards the side as Jongdae strolls in to the area, nonchalant. You take your pen and whip it at him with all the aim you could muster at such a short notice.

“I’m sorry!” he yells as he catches the pen and holds it to his heart before gently setting it down on the table a distance away from your hand.

“Thirty minutes,” you huff, as Jongdae takes a seat beside you. His attention turns toward Baekhyun who looks between the two of you. You can’t tell what the furrow of his brows or the scrunch of his nose conveys.

Jongdae ignores your complaint and addresses Baekhyun. You turn away pointedly, hands crossed over your chest, lip slightly jutted. 

“What are you doing in the library, Baekhyun?” Jongdae questions.

“Um, just, you know, talking to Y/N—”

“Is that Eunha?” Jongdae interjects, leaning over the table, jaw dropped.

“Who?” you ask, curious.

“Yeah, who?” Baekhyun repeats, feigning innocence. You see the way, he blinks at Jongdae owlishly, and his straight posture.

“Your ex-girlfriend, Eunha! Is that why—”

Baekhyun’s over at Jongdae’s side in an instant, hand clamping over the blabbermouth’s mouth, looking around the library maniacally to see if anyone overheard. You choke, not sure what to feel about the new information, but when she leaves out of view, you figure it's her since she is the only one there that wasn’t there a moment ago. You look towards the two idiots at your side.

And if that wasn’t any worse, Eunha suddenly reappeared again right in front of you three. And she looked Baekhyun up and down, and then it was Jongdae. And lastly you.

With her sleek black hair sectioned off into braids, her makeup flawless, and her clothes without a single crinkle in them, you envied her from head to toe.

“Baekhyun what are you doing? Really? Running away?” She gives Baekhyun an incredulous look as he retracts his hand from Jongdae’s mouth, sheepish look pasted on his face. 

“Um, actually—” he starts.

“Seriously, I just wanted to talk. I won’t bite,” she promises taking a step closer. You see Baekhyun’s eyes flit to anywhere but Eunha, and then you see him take a step closer to Jongdae, his hand suddenly coming down onto Jongdae’s shoulder. Hard.

“I’m dating Jongdae!” 

Eunha’s jaw drops open, you choke on air, Jongdae shrieks and falls out of his chair, and Baekhyun colors a scarlet in the next few moments as crickets chirp through the library.

“What?” Eunha breathes, looking as if she just got slapped in the face. And in this case, you felt that it would have been a better situation. “You’re dating—” she stopped mid-sentence, closing her eyes, straightening her back, and taking a long, deep breath. “Jongdae? Is he lying?”

You watch as Baekhyun pinches Jongdae’s back as he opens his mouth, and proceeds to say the words that you are just dying to hear with some popcorn in hand. “Uh... no.”

Eunha’s eyes are almost about to fall out her head as she looks between the two of them. Baekhyun laughs a small laugh, pressing his index finger to his lips, and shushing Eunha. She barks a laugh, hikes her bag up her shoulder, and stomps out of the clearing.

Jongdae’s chair is thrown to the side courtesy his legs as he stands, towering over Baekhyun. “What the fuck—” 

Baekhyun claps his hands together in front of his face, eyes clenched together. “I’ll make it up to you, I promise!” he squeaks.

“I should’ve just let you suffer—”

“—and I am so, so grateful you didn’t—”

“—in pain. Why the hell do I—”

“Coffee, for a month?” Baekhyun pleads.

Jongdae narrows his eyes at Baekhyun. “Two.”

“One and a half?”

“One and three weeks.”

“Okay, okay,” he surrenders, plopping into the chair next to you before turning to meet your eyes. “I am so dead.”

You smile. “I didn’t know you were gay.”

“Y/N!” he whines. “You know what? I am leaving, I have had way too much drama for today, and I feel my wrinkles popping out, god dammit.”

He walks away from the table as you erupt into snickers and Jongdae hollers an ‘8:45 AM sharp!’ after him.

“Don’t be late! I have class first thing and need my supply!”

Baekhyun doesn’t turn around, opting to flip off Jongdae, back still turned. Jongdae swears at him, and you laugh even harder.

What you don’t see is the small smile gracing Baekhyun’s lips as he exits the library doors, a little skip in his step.

Having to take an advanced sociology class for your major made absolutely no sense other than the fact that the people, whoever they were, that assigned the classes, were absolute idiots. You would know since you’re always surrounded by them.

The class ran for two terms but you only needed one, joining in at the beginning of the second this year. Everyone already had managed to find a place to sit, some people to work with, and a nice view of the screen in front of the room. You just wedged into some seats with some of the more friendlier looking girls and somehow managed to blend in to the wall, only needing a passing grade for this class.

You didn’t know many people in this class, but you at least recognized their faces. And that guy sitting at your desk with the suspicious looking hood was not one of them. You stood a few feet away from him, wondering if you should demand your seat back or just sit next to him. Or in front. 

But that’s your seat.

Well. Your inability to communicate with people caught up to you and you took a seat right next to him.

It wasn’t until the end of class that you figured out who he was. You could hear a faint purr from the hooded boy next to you, his pencil strewn next to his head that was lain on the table carelessly. A string of drool marked the paper and you chuckled. But you couldn’t judge. That would be you today if it weren’t for the fact he was giving apparently important information from the girl on your right.

You pondered on the thought if you should just leave him, but if class had finished while you were sleeping you would want someone to wake you up. What if he had a class after this?

You drew closer to him and tapped his shoulder. “Hey. Wake up. Class is over.”

The boy groaned, shifted in his seat the tiniest bit, and continued sleeping. You tapped him a bit harder this time. “Hey. Hey. Wake up.” 

You checked the time on your phone, before placing it back on the table. Taking your time, you placed your notebook back in your bag and zipped it up before tossing a look back to the boy. Still sleeping. The pencil and pen in your bag as well. Another look. Not even a little.

Boy, was this kid tired.

You tried again, and again, with even more force and smiled when the guy stirred, blinking his eyes, movements hazy. He smacked his lips a few times before finally moving his head up and locking eyes with you.

“Baekhyun?”

“Y/N?”

“You take this class?” you both said in unison.

A look passed between the two of you, as you blinked and he started giggling with you following shortly after.

“I take this class, but I’m pretty sure you don’t,” you finally say, smile placed on your lips.

“I owed my friend one and filled in for the day to take some notes.”

You snickered before motioning to the side of your face, your fingers ghosting your skin. “You have drool here.”

“What?” he squawks, hands wiping the opposite side of his face. 

You shake your head. “Other side.”

He pulls the sleeve of his hoodie up and finding the drool, quickly wiping it off before embarrassingly pulling his hoodie on his head tighter.

“What’s with the get up?” you question, as Baekhyun grabs his notebook and you grab your backpack, both walking towards the door. 

A group of students brush passed you and you notice how Baekhyun makes sure to duck his head down as he whispers to you. “You didn’t hear...?”

“Hear what? you whisper back.

He pouts at you and you shrug. “The rumors?” he tries again.

You filter through any gossip Sehun might’ve told you about in the past few days and come up blank. “Nothing,” you state.

He groans, hand coming up to slide down his face. “Come on, man. The rumors?” he harshly whispers, face turned towards you whilst walking, hands outstretched at his sides, and eyes blown out. 

You suck in a harsh breath as he comes closer to your face, and that weird feeling in your chest blooms again. Almost like an eruption of lava, but more lowkey. A good volcanic eruption.

“Me being gay?”

He pulls back when he sees your lips pursed, smile begging to be released. “Oh, from when—”

“Oh my god,” he groans, walking faster in front of you.

“Okay, okay, sorry, I won’t laugh!” you exclaim, speeding up your pace and walking next to him. He took a look at the twinkle in your eyes and the smile playing on your lips and huffs before looking away. Drama queen.

“Seriously!” you repeat again. “Okay, wait, wait, slow down a little.”

He begrudgingly complies, hands now folded over his chest as you swing your backpack to your front and bring out your notebook. You zip it up and he sneaks a glance before voicing his curiosity. “What’s that for?”

You shoot him a smile. “Your favor?”

His eyes widen. “Oh shit! I fell asleep!”

“That you did, but I take pity and give you this.”

You hand him the notebook and he takes it, hand almost brushing yours but you can’t tell from how fast its gone even though the aftermath leaves your heart beating a mile a minute. You don’t even notice.

“You are an angel,” he breathes and sends you the most breathtaking smile that you think he could ever send you.

“Your welcome,” you state, voice soft.

“Thank you,” he says back. 

You continue walking, where? You don’t know. But you move closer to him as he opens the notebook and you show him the pages that you wrote down today. You stop at a small bench on the side of the hallway where Baekhyun sets it down and takes pictures of the pages.

He slides his glasses up when they fall off his nose, before tapping the screen to make sure that its readable. You watch to the side as he ruffles through the pages make sure he got everything. His bangs falling over his eyes, and he shakes his head, the hair stubbornly staying put.

“Baekhyun!” someone calls from the side. You look over and recognize him to be from the baseball team. You forgot his name, though. Something starting with Jong but you weren’t sure. He jogs over to Baekhyun, talking about a late baseball practice and where the hell he’s been.

Baekhyun looked sheepish as Jong-something scolds him, calling him hyung and you can’t help but smile at the interaction. 

“Oh right, that reminds me!” Baekhyun turns towards you suddenly and you feel warm under his and Jong-something’s (Jongin? Is that his name?) gaze. “Are you still not sure about the game?”

You inhale, looking at the way, Baekhyun pulls out his lower lip just the slightest and how it looks adorable (you’re cringing on the inside at your thoughts) on him. “Uh... yeah. Still don’t know,” you mutter.

“Well,” Baekhyun says, looking straight at you and placing his hand on your shoulder, “I hope you come.” 

And then he sends you a smile and you feel your heart strings tugging at each other as he turns around, jogging to the rest of the team. Jongdae shoots you a small smile when he sees you and you wave back but then he’s gone.

It’s not until a good twenty minutes later do you remember that Baekhyun didn’t give you your notebook. You rushed back to the bench where you saw it last. It wasn’t there also.

Well, shit. You’re screwed for that test next week.

hey, this is Y/N. i don’t have your number so i’m texting you though sehun’s. 

You read over the text and groan. Why would he care if you have his number or not—of course you don’t. Delete.

uhhh, anyways, do you still have that notebook you took pictures of? I can't remember if I took it back or not haha

‘uhhh, anyways’ is too awkward, dammit. Delete that as well.

hey this is Y/N. do you still have my notebook you took pictures of? I can't remember if I took it back or not haha

Okay, okay. Not bad, straight to the point. A little laugh in the end to ease the awkwardness. Hit send, Y/N, before you freak out even more. You press the blue button and thrust the phone back into Sehun’s hand before diving into your pasta. Nothing like food to hit your biggest worries.

“You’re such a coward, worrying about texting him,” Sehun snarks, tapping on the screen.

You glare at him, mouth stuffed, and he glances a look at you, smirking at your appearance. “Ass,” you mutter.

“That’s me.” 

The door to the cafe jingles open and it's almost like a fairy tale when your eyes dart to the customer in the almost empty restaurant, with you sitting directly in sight of the door, and lock eyes with Baekhyun.

“Oh, Y/N! Sehun!” he exclaims, waving at the two of you with his signature smile, fingers straight as a stick, gaps wide between them in that weird way he waves at people (he still makes it cute).

You smile a small smile, and Sehun gives a weird ass cool nod that Baekhyun takes a greeting does a weird nod back. He pulls a chair from the empty table next to you, dropping the bag and sitting in the middle, your left, Sehun’s right. His side profile was astonishing.

You looked back to your food, taking another bite, as they engaged in baseball talk, wallowing about whether or not you should bring up the elephant in your room.

Thankfully, Baekhyun, ever the one with many gifts from God, looks towards you abruptly, slamming his hand on the table. You flinch, eyes startled to his, wide in shock, almost mirroring his.

He chuckles and you clamp your lips and relax your posture, eyes drifting away. Well, that’s embarrassing.

“Sorry,” he snickers. “Didn’t mean to scare you.”

“She’s a coward. She’s always scared,” Sehun interjects.

“No one asked you,” you retort, throwing the closest object to you (a napkin) hoping it would hit him straight in the eye (it didn’t; it floated to a stop in the middle of the table).

“Anyways, your notebook. It’s in my locker, I totally forgot to give it back, my bad.” His hand comes up to unconsciously rub at the back of his neck and you inwardly coo at the small pout on his—no! ”If you want, we can go now to the lockers since I have practice. Do you have a class?”

Your mind went blank for some strange reason and the only thing that came out was an “uh...”

Sehun, the sometimes-angel he is, saves you and you are so very grateful. “She doesn’t.”

Baekhyun looks between you and Sehun, an unrecognizable expression on his face, before his lips turn into a smile. “Great!”

He makes small talk while you finish your food, helping Sehun occasionally on the essay he was pumping out. He leaned over Sehun’s shoulder, his glasses slipping down his nose, and his eyebrows scrunched as they glazed over the screen. He’d gotten annoyed from his bangs that he clipped them up exposing his forehead, and—oh god, what is wrong with you.

“Okay!” you announce,  a little too high pitched and chair screeching back at a screech that resonated through the empty shop. You freeze, coughing awkwardly when Baekhyun looks up at you through his circle lenses and Sehun snickers in the back. You chuckle, smile tense, before grabbing your backpack in light speed, fixing your jacket.

You cock your finger back towards the door, and tilt your head. “Sehun are you coming? Let’s go.” Your heart pounds—probably because you made a fool of yourself. Sehun shrugs before packing his stuff, Baekhyun following.

Sehun and Baekhyun, with their longer legs and faster pace, strode in front of you on the too thin sidewalk. You lingered behind sometimes joining in on the conversation but you felt as if you’d interrupt them with all the sporty jock language they were using.

You just decided to stare at Baekhyun. And admire. And daydream about what it would be like to marry and have tiny babies together. But at the moment. Admire.

Even the back of his head was adorable, added to the fact he was wearing the team’s hat and hoodie combined. Really, whoever designed them was genius. Baekhyun looks absolutely swallowed, only the tips of his fingers peeking out from the sweater paws.

“Y/N? Earth to Y/N?” Sehun knocks on your head, and your eyes immediately snap towards his the moment Baekhyun’s eyes meet yours. “Is the back of his head that fascinating?”

“Wh-what? No, what the—” you end up smacking Sehun feeling the nape of your neck warming up and letting your hair curtain over your face on the side that Baekhyun faced towards you.

“Woah, there, no need to get violent, I was just joking,” he intonates the last word, a smirk voiced and you glare up at him hoping your message traveled light years fast. You take back what you said about him being a sometimes-angel. He’s the devil reincarnate.

Baekhyun laughed his small cute laugh like ’hahaha’ and said something about zoning out. You nodded dumbly and continued to trail along with him.

“As I was saying...” Sehun says, hand waving in the air nonchalantly, “Y/N’s just using me as an excuse for leaving her at the game because she’s probably just embarrassed that she doesn’t want to miss the new episode of Extraordinary You—ow! What was that for?”

You smile up at him, lips pursed, words venomous, “what?”

He looks away, pouting muttering how you’re a big fat meanie. Baby.

“Oh Extraordinary You is so good. Are you caught up with all the episodes? I haven’t had time to watch the last two,” Baekhyun comments and your neck snaps as you look up at him.

“Oh, uh...” with the thought that he didn’t find it embarrassing that you spend your free time watching romantic dramas that could never actually happen in real life, you spoke up. “I’m caught up.” You still mentally threw Sehun into the pits of hell where he belonged.

Sehun snorts as Baekhyun hums.

A curious smile peaks over the edges of Baekhyun’s lips as he looks at Sehun. “Why... is it weird or something?”

“No, just, she thinks that she’s uncool to watch dramas twenty-four seven—mmmph—what are you—!”

Your hand stays at Sehun’s side as you smile at Baekhyun. “Just ignore him. He spouts bullshit twenty-four seven,” you give a pointed look towards Sehun at the end. 

Baekhyun laughs. “Okay, then.” 

“He spouts bullshit twenty-four seven,” Sehun imitates, voice pitches higher.

“I don’t talk like that!”

The walk to the locker rooms aren’t too far, just outside the school campus. It’s only a 10-minute walk from the food court area and you’re there in no time. 

Luhan from the baseball team, which you know of from how much he frequents your apartment to hang out with Sehun, stole the younger boy, stating that they’d be back in a minute after stepping out of the locker rooms. You sat on the bench in the middle of the locker rooms while Baekhyun shuffled through his lockers that was packed to the brim.

“I’m not usually this messy,” Baekhyun mumbles as he takes out another bundle of what looks like an old sport jacket. “I’ve just been really busy these days,” he adds.

“It’s fine, take your time,” you commented, twiddling your fingers.

A few boys stepped in to the locker room, and you looked up briefly recognizing their faces but not their names. 

“Oh, Baekhyun?” one of them called. “You brought a girl into the locker rooms? You never did that with anyone, even Eunha.” The two at his sides snickered and you watched as Baekhyun’s ears turned red at the implications.

“It’s not like that,” Baekhyun barked as he continued ruffling through his lockers. “They’re idiots, don’t listen to them.”

You chuckle softly. “Okay.”

“Found it!” he grins, spinning it around and holding it out towards you.

“Oh, cool, thanks,” you state, taking the book from him.

“Yeah, but I should be telling you that,” he chuckles. “Why do you use a notebook anyway? Laptops are a thing, you know?”

“Yeah, but I like writing the stuff. It helps me remember everything,” you say, stuffing the notebook into your bag.

Baekhyun hums. “Good point, but the hand cramps are so not worth it.”

You shrug it off. “Whatever, Byun.”

“Hey, Baekhyun! Practice is starting. Your girlfriend can stay if she wants, I already asked coach,” one of the boys called.

Your face warms up at the title, and you’re meek ‘I’m not his girlfriend’ is muted by the raucous of the other boys coming in. Baekhyun sends you a shy smile and shakes his head. “Again, idiots, but you can stay if you want.”

“No, it’s alright,” you breathe, “I have class anyways, so it’s time I go. Can you remind Sehun to buy dinner, and say no chicken, please?”

“Yeah, sure. Isn’t his phone broken or something like that?”

“He’s an idiot also.”

“Looks like everyone on this team is an idiot.”

You hum, thinking over the words, one thought shining brightly in the midst of all the others.

The next thing you say is totally uncalled for and if you were in a less delirious state and not around Byun Baekhyun, it would’ve never escaped your mouth. “You’re not, though. That’s why I l love—”

Baekhyun suddenly frowns and your heart drops. You idiot! Why would you say something like that? What if he—shit. You totally messed up. The whole getting to know him, shit, shit, shit. You totally messed up. He doesn’t have time to respond as one of the boys steals him, shoveling him out of the room, throwing you a beaming smile in compensation. You can’t seem to reciprocate.

The locker room is awfully quiet, now.

It has been exactly one day since you spilled your mouth in front of Baekhyun and it has been exactly one day since you have regretted saying that. You saw him this morning, at the coffee shop down the street. He was just minding his own business, looking through his phone while taking a few sips of his drink here and there when you accidentally bumped into him. Nothing precarious happened, like you fell into his arms or his coffee spilled all over your shirt and he let you wear his spare.

No. You blushed as red as a tomato and stuttered a sorry, before scurrying off like a mouse at the stony gaze pointed directly at you.

Why did you even open your mouth and say something stupid like that? You weren’t an idiot. You knew what was implied with those words, and yet you had to go and say it. You probably ruined the friendship you had slowly progressed with Baekhyun, too. What a stupid person you are.

You walked in to the microbiology class with a huff, no regular coffee in hand as you were far too flummoxed after the run-in with Baekhyun to go back into the cafe. Jongdae had noticed something was off and shared a look with Minseok. The TA shrugged. 

You made a small burrow surrounding yourself with first, your books, second, your water bottle, and third, your bag, making a small barrier that you wished would shield you from all the remorse you felt upon yourself. Once the professor had walked in and started the presentation, you pride yourself from behind the wall. 

Your motions were robotic as you copied important things from the presentation, highlighted key concepts in your textbook, and answered questions prompted by the professor. But it was as if your mind and body were separate and your soul was nowhere to be found.

At the end of class, the professor had called you and Jongdae up, mentioning something about the project. 

You forlornly walked up beside Jongdae, the scuffling of your feet earning another worried stare from the boy.

“Y/N, Jongdae, I just wanted to note that since there’s a new student in the class, and an odd number of people, I would like for him to work with you,” the professor explains.

You nod numbly. Jongdae questions as to who. 

“Oh, he actually attend today’s class, I told him to meet me as well… oh, there he is!”

You felt someone sidle next to you and Jongdae shifted to look towards him. “Oh, Baekhyun!”

Your head snapped towards the side, and true to his words, Baekhyun stood to your side, not bothering you a glance. He smiled at Jongdae then at the professor, thanking him.

Jongdae glanced to you, your mouth agape. “Y/N, do you want to come with us?”

“H-huh?” you stutter as you look towards Jongdae. “Sorry, zoned out.”

“Yeah… uh, do you want to come with us for lunch? We’re having pizza,” Jongdae reiterates.

Your eyes flicker towards Baekhyun and sure enough, the cold stare from this morning and the last time you saw him were still there. 

“No, I’m fine. Thank you, though,” you say, lips pulled in a tight smile. 

“Oh, okay, then. See ya!” Jongdae grins, before turning towards Baekhyun who still stared at you. He nudged Baekhyun’s side. “Let’s go, then.”

His eyes are clouded as he looks at you. You can’t tell what he’s thinking and it makes your skin tingle from all the attention. He finally pulls them away from you and you let out the breath you were unknowingly holding. “Yeah, let’s go.”

What an idiot you are.

The smell of meat filled the room packed to the brim with college students. Baekhyun sat stuck in the middle of Chanyeol and Jongdae and was somehow appointed to the meat as he got the lowest runs during practice. The room was far too hot, even for Baekhyun and he grabbed the air conditioner remote, setting it at the coolest. The boys burst into raucous laughter at a story that Junmyeon was recalling but Baekhyun couldn’t find it in himself to laugh. He merely blinked as he flipped another piece of samgyeopsal.

His thoughts were running all over the place, like a hurricane. But it was all trained on you. 

Like that one time when he’d been coming from his class, he’d somehow spotted you in the midst of the crowd. You yawned, pulling down the hood covering your face and he had to hold back a snort at the way your flyaways stuck up filled with static energy. He started walking towards you, wanting to pet down the hairs but he stopped midway. Why would he want to do that? And he stood there like a fool, in the middle of the courtyard staring as you walked away from him.

He’d seen you so many other times and each time you drew him in to you and he didn’t know what was happening. Why his heart sped up at the sight of you so much, as if it were about to burst out of his chest. Why he had the urge to hug the living daylights out of you at the sight of you, as if you were his lover and he was yours. Why he blushed whenever you complimented him like a lovesick teenage boy. 

The not an idiot thing was the last straw. And what followed scared him to the deepest parts of his soul. You couldn’t just go around telling people those kinds of things with that much sincerity and stupid sparkle like you held the sun, stars, and meteorites in your eyes. It made him realize something. This whatever he felt, was different. 

It felt like how he used to feel back when he would consider you his best friend in the skip of a beat if anyone asked. It felt like that, but even more. And it scared him.

It was different from anything he felt when he was with any one of his past girlfriends. It was similar but far too different to even be compared. It was much more than that.

Was it friendship? Was it attraction? Could it maybe be… love?

Chanyeol knocked his elbow into Baekhyun’s ribs, lightly. “Baek, the meat’s burning.”

“Shit,” Baekhyun muttered to himself, still in a daze. This could be called love, couldn’t it? He always went on and on about how, all the girls he’s dated, he’s never loved. His heart was never full enough whenever he was around them to even be considered love. But around you—

“Baek,” Chanyeol called more loudly, this time jolting Baekhyun.

Baekhyun snapped his head towards Chanyeol, voice clearer. “Shit.”

“Yes, shit, the meat is burning,” Chanyeol pointed out and it finally registered in Baekhyun’s mind as to where he was. 

Baekhyun scrambled to save the meat, hurriedly flipping them, and blowing out a sigh as they were still edible.

“What’s wrong?” Chanyeol breathed, mouth full with meat. He placed a piece in a perilla leaf, adding a tiny dollop of ssamjang and placing it in Baekhyun’s hand.

Baekhyun takes it, mulling over the question. “I don’t know.” He put the wrap in his mouth, slowly chewing. “You know Y/N, right?”

Chanyeol nods, sipping his water and swallowing. 

“What do you think about her?”

Chanyeol hums. “She’s nice. Why? Do you like her?”

Baekhyun chokes on the water he’s drinking. “What? Me? Like her?”

Chanyeol shrugs. “You asked me what I thought.”

“But I don’t like her,” he wrongfully states. The way those words fall out of his lips, every word placed in it, feels wrong.

“Didn’t she used to be your friend or something like that?” Chanyeol reasons, eyebrows furrowing.

“Well, yeah, but—”

“Okay, Baekhyun,” Chanyeol interjects, seeing the inner conflict and what exactly Baekhyun was trying to get at here. “I’m going to ask you three questions.”

Baekhyun stares at him, confused. “About what?”

“One.” Chanyeol holds up his index finger, ignoring his question. “Do you like spending time with Y/N?”

Baekhyun blinks but slowly nods. Over the past few weeks where your interactions with him have slowly raised, he realized that whatever time spent with you, whether it was just a few moments, or hours on end, he never despised it. He even sometimes looked forward to it. No matter how cold he acted towards you. 

“Two.” Chanyeol pops another finger up. “Do you think she’s pretty?”

“W-what? How is that even… relevant—?”

“Answer the question, Byun.”

Baekhyun bites his lip. “Okay, yeah, she’s pretty, I guess.” This question doesn’t take long for him to answer. When you were little, Baekhyun always figured you were pretty with your blinding smile and sparkly eyes, and as you grow up, your features maturing and becoming more distinct, he’d say you’d become beautiful. In his eyes at least.

Chanyeol claps his hand, a smile spilling over his features. “Close your eyes for a minute.”

Baekhyun complies, albeit hesitantly, just in case this was just some prank and Chanyeol is just sneaking some raw garlic in his wrap. But Chanyeol’s words pull him in.

“You’re standing there, okay?”

Baekhyun imagines this well enough. He stood in the middle of a road that he’s never seen before, alone. He doesn’t know what Chanyeol’s point is but he doesn’t open his eyes just yet, intrigued as to what comes next.

“Y/N is there next to you,” his deep voice continues.

Baekhyun places you right in front of him. You’re standing there how he saw you the last time you crossed paths. Bundled up in an oversized hoodie, and jeans, your go to outfit everytime he sees you. Hair pulled into a low ponytail because as you said, it’s annoying when its down, and it hurts when it’s too high up. And only a touch of lip balm because makeup takes too much time and according to you, doesn’t fit you. He thinks you’d look pretty in anything—wait, no! This is exactly what he’s not supposed to be thinking. However, the butterflies in his stomach start to stir.

“And then she’s leaning closer  and closer…” Chanyeol hums again. 

The you behind his eyes, mirrors the actions and he watches, wide eyed as you’re almost nose to nose with him. Your breath fans over his cheeks and you flutter your eyes shut, standing there, waiting. He knows what comes next and his heart aches, his skin tingles, waiting for him to continue. He can’t even pinpoint whatever he’s feeling. He needs to repress it, he knows that he should or else it will just end up absolutely horrible. Baekhyun can’t seem to make a decision. His lips press into a thin line before his body is moving before he can react.

And he’s kissing you.

Baekhyun’s eyes fly open. He’s met with Chanyeol’s trademark grin set in place and a slight rise to his eyebrows. “So? What did you see?”

“We…” Baekhyun voice was barely above a whisper and he felt his skin tingle. That was it wasn’t it? “We kissed.” The butterflies raged and he let them.

Jongdae knows the tension between you and Baekhyun. He can quite literally feel it when he’s in close proximity between the two of you. It’s so thick it suffocates him. But he knows he can fix it. He’s good friends with the both of you and he knows where the two of you went wrong. Baekhyun is scared and running away from his feelings and you are beating yourself over having feelings for him. It’s a never ending cycle and Jongdae just wants it to stop. Which is why he’s strategically planned this last work study to the tiniest detail naming it: Let’s Get Them Together Because Everyone is Fucking Sick of it. The name needs work but the sentiment is still there.

The warmth of the cafe drafts over him as he opens the door, with you following closely behind him. He meets Baekhyun’s eyes for a split second before they immediately go towards you as you hide behind Jongdae like he’s some barrier. He doesn’t appreciate this and would prefer more eye contact between the two of you as to initiate something, so he moves away. 

Jongdae reaches the table and hovers, as you take a seat on the edge seeing that Baekhyun took the other. You face each other, but don’t dare to look at one another. The both of you were thoughtful enough to leave a seat for him straight in the middle, so there was that at least.

Operation Let’s Get Them Together because Everyone is Fucking Sick of it is now a go.

“Y/N! Why don’t you show Baekhyun that thing you showed me last night?” Jongdae chimes, smiling. Baekhyun looks questionably between the two of you before focusing his attention on you where you pulled out your laptop and materials. “Would the two of you like anything to drink?” He further questions, inwardly patting himself on the back when the two of you scoot closer together to ‘see’ your screen.

“I’m fine,” you chimed, voice soft. “Thank you.”

“Baekhyun?” Jongdae questions before looking at the cup Baekhyun taps at.

“I’m good too.” 

“Alrighty, then!” Jongdae exclaims, clapping his hands together, before narrowing his eyes at you. “Make sure you tell Byunnie here, everything alright? And in detail too!” 

Jongdae proceeds to skip off, laughing heartily at the weird stares you probably shared behind his back. Jongdae wasn’t planning on doing anything. Just fueling the spark that already came between the two of you.

Baekhyun’s eyes have opened into a new dimension and he knows about what’s driving him to act like this towards you. Well of course, he knows, he’s always known but always chose to ignore it. But now, he wants to change. He wants to change but now, he doesn’t know how. 

It’s been one week since his talk with Chanyeol and the three of you had met up almost everyday, seeing as you didn’t have much time to cram it all into the last day. He felt his walls breaking around you. A small smile whenever you scrunched your nose at a term you didn’t understand, turning to Jongdae all confused with some tech problem only to find out that it was something stupid—you would turn in to a blushing mess after. Whenever he met eyes with you, you would immediately look away and it made his heart clench. 

Sometimes you made yourself so small, he forgot you were even there, letting his walls break down thinking he was only in front of Jongdae. He would then remember that you were present, making eye contact and he would then see the pretty blush you would sport. He’d shut up straight away.

Jongdae had planned to meet at a cafe this time, going out for ice cream later in celebration for finishing. Baekhyun had come far too early, going straight after his last class just in case he came too late—a bad habit of his. And once the two of you arrived together, he’d straightened, ready to get this done and over with. He still didn’t know what was going to happen with the two of you, but has accepted that whatever would happen, would happen. But after that weird encounter with Jongdae, he felt like something was up.

“That was… weird right?” Baekhyun spoke, looking at you.

“Yeah,” you breathed, “totally weird.” You didn’t look him in the eyes as you said this.

There were a few moments of silence that drifted between the two of you, the ambiance of the cafe seeming to make up for the lack of conversation, before you spoke up.

“Did you manage to find the stuff about the stool analysis? That’s what Jongdae was talking about earlier, I guess. He told me about it and I found some stuff just in case you didn’t,” you started shifting your computer towards him.

He leaned over, hoping with the depths of his soul that you couldn’t hear how loud his heart was beating in front of you. You pointed out the parts that you found interesting and the differences between the analysis you’d come up with the days before. Baekhyun hummed, nodding along to everything you were saying, before one point caught his eye. He pointed this out. “This one seems nice to use.”

You grinned, before flipping open your notebook. “Right? I thought so too. I found some additional information about that specimen and compiled them so we could add it to our presentation.” You slid the notebook over to Baekhyun as well, and he had to scoot his chair closer to see. 

“If we use this in our presentation...” he started, lifting his head up and locking eyes with yours. His voice faltered. 

You were a breath away from him, nose almost brushing into his. He stayed there, frozen, wondering as to what to do in this situation, mind running a mile a minute and yet doing nothing at all. You were the first to move, coughing haphazardly, and leaning away from him, before pulling open a few more tabs saved on your bookmarks.

It would be okay, right? It was just you that his heart was beating for. Baekhyun was just a little too late in realizing that.

Jongdae entered at just the right time and Baekhyun spent the rest of the time, avoiding your eye now and trying his very best to control the beating of his heart.

Night had fallen as they exited out of the cafe. Baekhyun and you both carried a drink, yours being hot chocolate and Baekhyun’s another coffee to keep him awake for the rest of the night. With increased practice for baseball came less time for him to focus on his studies. And he really needed that stable GPA.

“Well, I go this way,” Jongdae states, cocking his thumb to the right. You and Baekhyun turn to look at him, confusedly.

“Isn’t your apartment like right next to mine, though?” you ask, confusedly.

“Well, yes, but I promised to meet someone earlier. Sorry I can’t walk you home, Y/N, and no ice cream,” he apologizes before his eyes brighten up again. “Oh, Baekhyun! Can’t you just walk her home? You’re headed in somewhat the same direction, right?”

Baekhyun scratches the back of his head. “I guess?”

“Great!” Jongdae exclaims before skipping off once again.

“Jongdae is acting really weird today…” you comment and Baekhyun can’t help but nod his head in agreement.

It’s a twenty minute walk from where you are now to your apartment building. Half of the time is spent silent with Baekhyun. 

Until you meet Sehun at the crosswalk.

“Oh, Y/N-noona, Baekhyun-hyung!” Sehun calls, and you wave at the familiar face, Baekhyun nodding in greeting. “Didn’t know you were such a gentleman, hyung,” Sehun teases, poking at Baekhyun’s sides. The older man swats at his arm in retaliation sticking his tongue out at the former. You laugh to the side at the two children it feels like you’re walking home.

Your phone buzzes in your pocket, and you pull it out, eyes lighting up at the name.

“Who is it?” Sehun asks, as he slides next to you.

“My mom,” you reply.

The words are falling out of Baekhyun’s lips before he could stop them. “Tell her I said hi.”

You smile. “Okay.”

You pick up the phone, voice soft as you slowly walk in front of the two boys. “Hi, Mom.”

“Yes, yes, I’m good. Oh, by the way, Baekhyun says hello. Yes, the one from next door.”

You look back at Baekhyun. “My mom says hello back and that you should come over some time,” you state. “You don’t have to if you want to, though,” you add as an afterthought.

“I’ll come over if I have some time later,” he tries.

“Sure,” you answer, relaying his words to your mom. Baekhyun can’t help but look endearingly at you from the back.

Sehun brings Baekhyun’s attention on to him, then. “Hyung.”

He looks over, eyes blinking, as he places his hands in his pockets, craving the warmth as a particularly fierce wind drafts through. “What’s up?”

“You like her, don’t you?”

Baekhyun blushes at the sudden confrontation. He thinks about it for a second before replying, not once thinking that it not be true. “Yeah, I do. Why do you ask?”

“She… talked to me earlier about you. Like a few days ago,” Sehun started, voice lowering. The three of you passed the crosswalk and continued on the side of the road. Sehun and Baekhyun lagged the tiniest bit as you walked along unaware of the conversation being shared between the two boys.

“Yeah?”

“She said she said something to you and you just turned cold and it was all her fault. I didn’t push her, but I asked her why she didn’t just play it off and say that she didn’t mean it,” Sehun started, getting straight to the point. Baekhyun waited on the balls of his heels for the answer. “You know what she said?”

Baekhyun shook his head.

“It’s better this way. What if I grow too attached and he just leaves again. I don’t think I can do that.” Sehun looked at Baekhyun gauging him for an answer.

So... that’s how she felt?

Baekhyun didn’t like to think about the period when you stopped being friends. He thought it would be better for you, to stay away from his crowd. You would always used to point to them, saying that you didn’t like them because of how snotty there were. And when Baekhyun joined the baseball team, with those same people, he thought you would hate him for that or at least grow to hate him so he just... distanced himself before he could get hurt. Because he was childish. And immature. He didn’t account to how you would feel, thinking that you would get over it. Maybe Baekhyun was as much a stable in your life as you were in his.

“I’m telling you this, because I know you’re a good person and I really don’t want you to hurt her again. When you left her before, I think it affected her more than she lets on. She doesn’t show it much, but I think that’s why she’s so wary with people in general. I really don’t want to see her like that, ever. So please—”

“It’s okay, Sehunnie,” Baekhyun interjects. “I know. I’m planning on making things right between us and I don’t plan on letting her go.”

“Are you sure?” Sehun asks warily.

Baekhyun nodded in confirmation as you finally turn back, hanging up on your phone call and noticing the distance between you and the two of you boys.

You laugh. “You guys are so slow!”

Yes, Baekhyun is sure. He knows what he wants to do. What he needs to do.

You shivered under the touch of the cool autumn sky, the breeze ruffling up your hair. As an attempt to block yourself from the harsh winds, you pulled up your hoodie, the fabric covering your ears giving you just the warmth you crave. 

A familiar mud green slide that twirled around like a pretzel came into view as you turned the corner. Your heart felt full at the images of sunny days and fall evenings spent in the very same space years ago, with a certain child.

It was surreal when you turned towards the swings and saw the same kid that you remember from your childhood. Tousled mop hair that went past the eyebrows, button nose, rosy cheeks, and the poutiest of pouts adorned his lips as he glared at the rock a few meters away. His jean clad legs, swung back and forth and the momentum carried him down then up then down and up again, a repeating cycle. As a child, you could never stand the swings for long—they made you get butterflies in your stomach, and not the good kind.

He spotted you, eyes widening and legs skidding across the wood chips to halt his flight, before you could even wonder whether you wanted to be there or not. It looked as if you’d intruded on a rather private moment. “Y/N? What are you doing here?”

You stepped out of the shadows, clammy hands gripping the strap of your bag. “I’d ask the same to you.”

The swing only slightly rocked back and forth now and you walked up to him, taking the adjacent seat. You didn’t look at him, absentmindedly kicking your legs back and forth but then decided against it when a wave of nausea passed over you. Some things never change. 

Baekhyun exhaled a heavy breath that somehow had layers to it. The creaking of the metal joints, rusted over years of children taking turns and calling dibs, showing, as he rocked back and forth. “You remember this place?”

You look towards the side, his voice drawing your attention. Clear, resolute, brights, but at this moment it sounded much different than the Baekhyun you remember. His head was tilted back, eyes closed and face relaxed, serene, and you couldn’t help but feel that way too. This place did something like that to you. All the jitters, and nervous butterflies were drowned out by the aura of this place, and it made you feel calm, comfortable. Home. “Of course I do,” you whispered. You were afraid that if you spoke too loud, something would break, and this, whatever this was would go with it. Your voice merely echoed through the space between the two of you, the buzz of cicadas quickly rebutting it.

“I come here sometimes,” he looks towards you as he says this, and you hold his eyes. Your eyes wander across his face. He looks so tired. “To think.”

You smile a small smile. “Funny.” He cocks an eyebrow at your comment. You shake your head at his pointed look. “I came here just to do that.”

“Do you come here often?” 

Your breath comes out in visible puffs in front of you. “No.” Another, but larger. “Yes.” 

He chuckles, his signature laugh making your smile grow even bigger. “And we’ve never seen each other before today? Crazy.”

“Yeah,” you grin. “Crazy.”

Your eyes bore into him, as Baekhyun, and as you see the way his shoulders hunch back, the furrow of his eyebrows, how his skin almost sags, the shadows bringing out the darkness under his eyes. You can’t help but ask, again. “Are you okay?”

His head tilts to your side and he opens one of his eyes, peering at you almost upside down, sideways. “Of course I am,” he chirps, “just a little tired ‘s all.”

“Then why don’t you go sleep?” 

He tilts his head back up, eyes closing. “Can’t.” Silence looms over the two of you, but he breaks it, once again. “I actually need to apologize to you.”

You turn towards him, confusion etched over your face. “Apologize?”

“Yes,” he confirmed. “I’m really sorry for being super... distant to you these past weeks. I don’t really know what got over me.”

“No, no, I mean,” you stutter, grasping his words and reason for an apology. “I should be apologizing. I guess, I stepped over a line, and your reaction was normal for what I did—”

“For what you did?” he interjects, puzzled. “I don’t get it, are we even talking about the same thing?”

“The locker rooms?” you try, wincing at the harsh memory and its outcome.

“Yeah… but you didn’t say anything like that—”

“Yes, but I said something that were implied in my words and—”

“Okay,” he grins and you warily meet his eyes. “How about we just forget that ever happened and start over again?” He cocks his head cutely and you inwardly coo, being reminded of the child you once knew (and now know again).

“Okay,” you agree, smiling.

The small smile he sported suddenly turned larger and much more wary. A mischievous grin pulled at the corner of his lips as he stood up to his full height, the swing twirling erratically at the loss of his weight. “I have an idea.” He bends down to pick up the backpack perched on the corner pole of frame when he looks at you, almost shy, and you were transported once again to the time when you were just a child and didn’t know anything better in the world. “You don’t need to be anywhere soon, do you?”

You shake your head no as you mirror him, dusting off your behind for remaining dirt, and straightening out your jacket.

“Great,” he beamed. “Let’s go!”

The arcade was still the same as you remember it. When you came to, wondering where in the hell Byun Baekhyun was taking you and whether you should’ve followed or him or just ditched to a sauna for the rest of the night was swiped clear out of your memory when you arrived at the front. A few of the letters balanced on a hilt of the building, were fused out, the A, C, and E, black in the darkness of the night. The sign now spelled, ‘RAD’ but you remembered the time when all of the letters dazzled bright colors all on their own.

Baekhyun shot you one of his award winning smiles when you looked at him, incredulously, mouth agape. “This was still here?” you marveled, breathlessly. 

He nodded, excitingly. “It hasn’t changed one bit.”

And he wasn’t wrong. 

The entrance was dimly lit, only one person over the counter and the teenage boy looked eerily dead, the light above him flickering on and off. When the bell chimed as you entered, he jolted, eyes glazing over the two of you.

“For two?” He queried, monotonously.

“Yes, please,” Baekhyun replied, bouncing on the tips of his toes.

The boy registered and handed you the tickets as you and Baekhyun paid for your own. Baekhyun tried paying for you saying that he dragged you into it, but you stared him down, and he eventually caved. Why would he even pay for you? It’s not like the two of you were on a—no! Y/N, don’t go there! Bad territory to be roaming around especially this close to a guy in a seemingly empty space. You shake your head free of thoughts as you focused back on the game at hand.

Baekhyun had got the lead when you glanced at his screen, but you quickly overpassed him, a trick from so long ago, now muscle memory, taking over you.

He groaned and you cheered as the tickets from under piled out and a crown displayed on your screen and a frowny face on his. You had an urge to soothe the scrunch between his brows when you saw him gloating off the number of tickets you accumulated over the time you’d been here. 

As you headed to the counter filled with different toys and stuffed animals, the clock behind it showed that it was almost 10. You’d been here for two hours? It barely felt like 1.

Baekhyun’s eyes were trained on a pikachu plushie to the corner. He didn’t have enough tickets to buy them.

“I’ll get the Pikachu, over there,” you pointed, and couldn’t help but coo at the small almost inaudible whine that blew past Baekhyun’s lips. “Are you going to get anything?”

His eyes flitted between the number of tickets displayed on the machine and back to the wall of toys. 

“How about that tiger over there? It kinda looks like you,” you nudged, smiling, when his eyes brightened up again at the sight. 

“Okay,” he states. “I’ll take that one.”

The walk back was heavy, silent. The impending doom and the utter discomfort at not having a bed for the night loomed over you and you cursed yourself for ever giving in to your roommate's enticing offers. Dammit, you and your weak heart.

Baekhyun took a deep breath as the ticking of the crosswalk, halted you from the street. “I go this way.”

He points towards his left and you know your apartment is in the opposite direction but you can’t help but want to lie and walk with him just a little bit more. Everything about today had just been so... nice. There was no other way to describe. It made your cheeks blush red, your breath unsteady, your legs stagger and you heart beat so hard you felt as if it would burst out of your chest.

The words were falling past your lips and you wished to take them back as soon as they escaped when you saw the worry fall onto his face. “I was just gonna crash at a cafe for the night.”

“Too much homework?” he questioned.

“Well, yes, and I’ve been kicked out of my room for the night,” you laughed the last part off, hoping that it didn’t sound as bad as it really should. And then you realized that it did sound as bad as it did and you were quick to rebuke just in case a tiny part of Baekhyun worried for you. “I mean! It’s not a big deal or anything, just I owe Sehun a big favor and apparently his plus one’s house is under plumbing or something and I do have that essay do the day after, and I guess, it just all works out...?”

“You don’t have anywhere else?”

You nervously chuckled. “I already tried...? And it’s fine. Not the first time—”

“You can stay with me,” Baekhyun interjected. You coughed a sudden cough. “If you want to, I mean.”

“Uhhhh, well—”

“You’ll have to owe me a favor, of course, it’s not every day I let someone borrow the mattress under my bed, but it’s fine if its you, as long as it is a big favor.”

You stood speechless for the minutest of moments. “I—is that okay?”

“Yeah, it's cool. A big favor, though, okay,” he pointed. 

You held your hands up in surrender. “A big favor,” you repeated. 

He dropped his finger and a lazy smile that brightened up his face all the more, washed over him. “Let’s go then, I’m bunked.”

You startled awake, eyes shooting open. Darkness meets you and it takes a few moments to register the room you’re in with the only light source being from the tiny gap in the curtain. Curtains. Blue curtains. You don’t have blue curtains. 

You’re currently on the floor. Laying on a mattress. There are two bunk beds on either side of you. One of them occupied with Byun Baekhyun who is currently dangling from the bed and drooling. Your brain finally registers awake and reruns everything that happened the night before, starting from your unexpected meeting all the way to Baekhyun’s gracious offer. Considering where you are now, last night wasn’t a dream.

You throw off the covers, suddenly feeling hot. Did he always sleep with no air conditioner? You wondered whether or not you should stay until he woke up, or if you’d be overstaying your welcome. Padding around for your phone, it was half past nine. You didn’t have any classes until the afternoon. You decided to kill time going through your social media, having nothing else to do. But your eyes soon got bored and trailed towards Baekhyun’s almost right above you.

You could make out his distinct features in the dim lights, the ones you are used to and everyone saw, but there was something so peaceful with the way his eyelashes laid against his cheeks and his lips and cheeks a rosy pink. And the drool. You stifled a laugh when the drool started to roll down his chin, threatening to drop off.

It wasn’t long for your heart to start pounding in your eardrums at the serenity of this environment and how quiet everything is. It starts getting louder, almost deafening until you peel your eyes away from Baekhyun.

You suddenly make eye contact with Chanyeol, who gazes at you blankly, face held in his palm.

You intake a sharp breath at the confrontation as he narrows his eyes at you. “Did Baekhyun bring you here?” he whispers.

You nod slowly before realizing the implication of the statement. “Wait, no! Not like that,” your harsh whisper makes Baekhyun stir and your wide-eyed as Chanyeol hold his finger to his lips. Like a deer caught in headlights you slowly nod in understanding. “I just didn’t have a place to stay, and Baekhyun offered. That’s all.”

Chanyeol’s eyes are clouded. You can’t tell what he’s thinking. For such an expressive person that everyone claims him to be he seems far too intimidating in front of you right now. “Do you like him?”

“What? No! Of course not.” you refute harshly. Chanyeol’s eyes narrow down at you. You wither under his gaze. “Okay, maybe a little. But don’t tell him, alright?”

“And why is that?” he presses.

“Just, please, I—” 

I’m scared. You choke back the words.

“I don’t want to lose him as a friend.”

Chanyeol nods. “Okay. Just be careful with him, okay? Some people use him because he’s Byun Baekhyun and he just lets it happen because he’s too nice and won’t say anything, so just when you’re with him, take care of him alright?”

You look at him questionably. “Why are you telling me this?”

He laughs, waving the question off. “It’s nothing.”

“Huh... you’re awake?” Baekhyun slurs from above you.

“Oh, Baekhyun!” Chanyeol grins. “I was just about to make breakfast, Y/N, will you join me?” A flip had switched in Chanyeol’s demeanor and your eyes don’t leave his, even as he shuffles out of his bed, his earlier words bouncing off the walls in your head. 

Baekhyun groans and flips his covers on top of his head, muffling a five minutes. Chanyeol cocked his towards you. “Coming?”

“Yeah,” you mumbled, trailing behind Chanyeol.

xxx - xxx - xxxx [6:15 PM]: hey, Y/N! this is baekhyun! I got ur number from sehunnie if ur wondering 

xxx - xxx - xxxx [6:15 PM]: i gave sehun a lil something for you :) make sure you wear it to the game tomorrow!

xxx - xxx - xxxx [6:15 PM]: also u forgot your pikachu at mine

‘xxx - xxx - xxxx has been added as a new contact: baekhyun’

y/n [6:16 PM]: ...should i be worried?

y/n [6:16 PM]: and you can keep it. u probably wanted it more than me. think of it as... payment? for letting me stay the night

baekhyun [6:17 PM]: it’ll look cute on u i swear!!! just please :,( for me??

baekhyun [6:17 PM]: also the pikachu will do

y/n [6:18 PM]: i hope ur not lying 

baekhyun [6:18 PM]: i'm not!!!

y/n [6:19 PM]: sehun just came so i hope u stick to ur word

baekhyun [6:19 PM]: you’ll love it, trust me ;)

baekhyun [6:19 PM]: oh, i’ve gotta go now, duty calls

y/n [6:19 PM]: oh okay

y/n [6:20 PM]: get lots of rest and gl for tomorrow!!!

baekhyun [6:21 PM]: dw ill win it :)

baekhyun [6:21 PM]: just for you 

‘message failed to send. try again?’

Baekhyun gave you one of his old jerseys, and a yellow t-shirt. You got the reference, his favorite color being yellow, and ‘byun’ printed on the back of the jersey.

“All the Baekhyun fans have one of these, but hyung said this one was special since he got it personally for you or some bullshit.” You didn’t care much for Sehun’s snarkiness, taking the clothing with gentle hands and scurrying off into your bedroom to squeal because Baekhyun got this just for you!!!

You’d tucked it into a pair of loose-fitted jeans the afternoon after, spending hours doing your hair and makeup before topping it off with a team hat. You’d gone for a minimalistic look, trying too much to make sure it didn’t look like you actually spent hours on it. Not that you were dressing up for a certain someone—who are you kidding, you are totally dressing to impress. Sehun took one look at you and snorted. You swatted his arm ignoring the look he gave you. “I haven’t seen this much effort since prom in senior year.”

You huffed a whatever, stalking out of your apartment and placing yourself in the backseat of his car, as you went to pick up Mina. Apparently the two of them were together again. You figured you knew when that happened.

When you get to the field, Sehun announced that he’s hungry and went off to the hot dog stand. You and Mina, meanwhile, climb up to your seats taking in the view. The bleachers are filled to the brim with people from your school and also people from not. You underestimated the sheer popularity of the baseball team in your state.

And you also noticed many other girls dressed up similarly to you. 

“So there’s something between you and Baekhyun?” Mina spoke up, from beside you.

Your head whipped towards her and your mouth opened and closed like a fish, unable to make a response. 

She glanced towards your shirt and then to the fine print of ‘byun’ across your back and raised an eyebrow at your lack of an answer.

“W-were just friends,” you finally stuttered out.

Mina’s eyebrows raise up another level. “Sure…” she says, sounding totally not convinced. “Because friends blush at the mention of another friend’s name.”

Your hands fly to your cheeks patting them down. “I’m not blushing,” you frown.

She laughs. “Whatever you say, but I personally think you’d be good together.”

You look at her, curiously, egging her to go on.

“I mean, Baekhyun doesn’t really date that often. Eunha—was a stupid decision on his part, I don’t know what got into him. But he’s a good guy and I think he really likes you, Y/N.”

“He likes h-h-uh?” you bumble, head spinning.

Mina snickers. “Yeah, I think he does. And I’m the best when figuring out these types of things,” she grins, adding a cheeky wink towards you. 

Your left to mull about her words, as Sehun enters, handing you your hot dog and soda.

“Oh, it’s starting!” Sehun comments and the pitcher throws the first ball. The crowd goes wild.

The game ends with your team winning 6-4 and you find yourself cheering for them along with the others in the crowd.

Sehun drags you towards the locker rooms, telling you that it’ll be fine, and Baekhyun will totally not be weirded out by you visiting him after the game and telling him a good job. 

“Sehun!” One of the team called out as you entered the locker room. A horde of sweaty boys swatted at your friend and took the compliments he threw out. You craned your neck searching to find a familiar pink-haired boy before someone called your name from behind.

You turned to find Baekhyun, with a towel slung over his neck, bangs sticking to his forehead, and cheeks flushed. Not to mention the smile that spread over his face like he just saw an angel. He looked effortlessly hot. So unfair.

He jogged towards you and before you could even say a hello, he threw his arms around your waist, burying his face in the crook of your neck. You froze for a split second before wrapping your arms around his shoulders, a small smile playing on your lips. You forgot that he was really touchy realizing he must’ve never outgrown the habit, not that it was a particularily bad one. His drooling was far worse. With how tight he was hugging you, you figured it must’ve been out of relief. You knew it. He really was worried for the game.

“You did really well,” you breathed, lips hovering over his ear. He smelled like sweat, undoubtedly and you were sure the warmth would stick to your skin soon enough, but didn’t dare shy away from his hold. He would always hold you like this back then as well and you felt comfort from that fact. Some things really do never change. 

He groaned, voice muffled by your skin. His lips moving against your neck sent shivers through your skin so even if you did hear it, your mind was on another level. Finally he pulled his head back, still crouched so he looked up at you, a smirk sporting his lips. 

“You wore it.”

You rolled your eyes, and pulled your hands away from him, as he stood to his full height. “You’re the one who begged me to, Byun,” you huffed.

“No, I didn’t!” he exclaimed, sounding aghast at your presumption.

“Oh, really?” you egged, eyes sparkling. “Please? Just for me? Ring any bell?”

“Okay, okay, whatever, you say,” he grinned, hand coming up to ruffle your hair.

You frowned playfully before continuing. “But you did a really good job! You worried over nothing.”

“Who said I worried?” he pouted.

You laughed before motioning to his eye bags. He swatted at your hands, before the two of you burst into giggles. 

And then suddenly he’s grabbing your free hand, his encasing yours in warmth and raising it up into the air before shouting a loud ‘let’s go!’ to the rest of the people in the room.

The team chorused shouts in answer before Baekhyun tugged at your arm, eyes smiling like they held the galaxy and stars back at you before pulling you with the crowd that filed out of the cramped room. 

You lost Baekhyun to the crowd once you got to the party. Migrating towards the kitchen, you grabbed a soda from the fridge, deciding to pass on the drinks tonight, no matter how enticing they were. Sehun found you brooding in the corner not two minutes later, and true to his word, didn’t leave your side. You, Sehun, and Mina, played in a beer pong game with some guys you vaguely recognize from your sociology class, but can’t put a name on. You played rock, paper, scissors, every time to see who’d drink and it was as if Sehun got on the wrong side of Dionysus tonight. You quickly got bored, however, gravitating away from the crowd when Sehun and Mina headed out on to the dance floor. It couldn’t really be called that when really it was just the living room with some strobe lights and stereos that blasted half-assed music.

You took a seat on the empty two seater, sipping on your soda, and looking up when Jongdae came down to sit next to you.

“Having fun?” he asked, voice almost muffled by the music even though he was practically screaming.

“I think I’ve had enough for the night,” you laughed. “I’ll just find Baekhyun and Sehun and tell them I’m leaving before I go,” you say before getting up.

“Oh, I think I saw Baekhyun before, I’ll take you to him,” he commented, before leading the way.

It isn’t hard to find Baekhyun, what with his eccentric hair color and white outfit. However, Jongdae suddenly stops in front of you, making you bump into him. 

His mouth opened to say something and you peeked over his shoulder, thinking that there was something there that you just had to see. “What is it—”

Your voice falters and then you lock eyes with Byun Baekhyun. And he’s kissing someone. He’s kissing Eunha.

Baekhyun regrets it the moment it happened. His eyes fly open, when her mouth comes into contact with his and he sees your eyes undoubtedly meet his across the crowds of people hovering over the shoulder of Kim Jongdae. You stare into his eyes and before he can even pull away or shout your name, your gone, surrounding yourself in the shadows with Jongdae running behind you. He snaps his head back, glaring at Eunha.

He doesn’t bother to speak a word to her, opting to run after the way you came from. Shit, shit, shit, this probably would not end well. No, no, no need for negative thoughts, he will make it end well.

He doesn’t find you in the kitchen which was the way you were headed but he found Sehun and pounced on his immediately.

“Did you see, Y/N?”

“Huh, no, why?” Sehun asked, eyebrows furrowed. The smile was wiped off his face and in place a frown. “Hyung…”

“Just, see if she texted you maybe?” Baekhyun pleads, voice growing louder at the upturn of music. Sehun cocks his head but does as he said, eyes widening before showing him the text.

y/n: sorry sehunnie, didn’t feel too well. went back home if you need me ^^

Baekhyun’s heart runs into overdrive, and he’s out of the door a split second after. His feet are carrying him as fast as possible and when he’s finally on the elevator going up to your floor, eyes blown out and breath ragged from running, he takes a moment to conserve himself. It was a mistake. And you have to understand that. Because what Baekhyun realized as he was egging the taxi driver to go faster across the city, was that he wanted you there with him. He wanted to kiss you. Not Eunha. Not anyone else. And he wanted to kiss you really fucking bad. 

The door dings open and he sees the color of your jacket as you shuffle through your bag, presumably looking for your keys.

He’s by your side in a second and you turn and look around to see what's all the raucous. You visibly stiffen. Your face is streaked with tears, eyes puffy, cheeks blotchy, and lips a dark rouge as if you’ve been biting them for hours. 

“Y/N…” Baekhyun starts hand reaching for your wrist unconsciously. You shift away from this and Baekhyun notices that deflating.

“What are you doing here?” you question, voice wobbling, as if you were about to start crying any second now. And from the way it looked, it seemed to be true.

“That kiss—” he starts, and Baekhyun realizes his voice is far too loud for the quiet of the empty hallway and as you flinch, he takes a sharp breath. “That kiss meant nothing. Eunha doesn’t mean anything to me anymore. She’s just an ex, and I guess she thought since I was being nice to her that meant that we could be together again, and really it isn’t anything like that because I don’t like her anymore.”

You blink owlishly at him, looking as if you aren't digesting what he was saying, which made Baekhyun halt. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Be-because, you saw! You saw me kissing Eunha, and I obviously had to explain it or else there would be too many misconceptions—”

“You don’t have to tell me that. It’s not like I’m your girlfriend or anything.” You laugh heartlessly and sniffle. “I’m just some delusional girl who thinks that just because she used to be your friend ages ago, she would somehow have even a sliver of a chance that you would like her, but again that’s delusional! Because it somehow managed to slip my mind that you’re Byun Baekhyun of the baseball team. Handsome, smart, athletic, kind, caring, loving and not the Byun Baekhyun who’d tripped over his own feet and have dirt and drool over his face all the time—”

Your crying as Baekhyun kisses you.

His weight leans into you and you take small steps back as your back hits the wall behind you. He adds more pressure, tilting his head, hand gripping your hand more just in case you felt as if this wasn’t real, which he believed what would be running through your mind now. 

He feels like absolute putty when you soften at his touch and splay a delicate hand over his chest, and when he bites down on your lip you make a noncommittal noise from the back of your throat that has him falling. 

You squeak when Baekhyun’s hands, one placed on your hip and the other on your neck and in your hair and everywhere, tilt your head higher, bringing him deeper into the kiss. It isn’t until you gently push him back, breathless, and eyes hooded that he takes a moment to consider the predicament he stood in. 

“I’m not dreaming, am I?” you breathe, wiping the stray tears away from your face.

Baekhyun chuckles softly, patting down your hair. “I thought you would say that.”

The clicking of a lock from the other side of the hall, snaps both your attention towards it. Baekhyun is amused as you look at him wide-eyed as the clicks continue. You pick up the key that somehow dropped to the floor in the midst of everything and are quick to open your door pulling Baekhyun in. 

When the door shuts behind Baekhyun, with you leaning against his chest, breathing deep, and Baekhyun leaning against the door, he can’t help but feel like the luckiest man in the world.

His hands snake their way into your hair, one of them tilting your chin up. “Round two?” he smiles, cheekily.

You blush a pretty red before nodding and meeting him in the middle for a kiss.

[yn-dreamlife]

Katsuki Bakugo x Reader || My Little Flower

pairing: Katsuki Bakugo x reader 

Warnings: mentions/memories of abuse, angst, guilty todoroki, guilty bakugo, Panic attacks, angst, fluff

Characters: Katsuki Bakugo, Izuku Midoriya, Ochaco Uraraka, Eijiro Kirishima, Shoto Todoroki, Mina Ashido, Tenya Iida.

Description: When one of Katsukis harmless insults Sends you flashing back into your abusive past you fear what he’ll think of you. Will your friendship possibly be ruined because of this? A.N: ok so I haven’t been able to watch a bunch of this show yet cause online schooling I’m going off of the fan fiction I’ve read so don’t come at me please. I love this fandom and honestly it would break my heart if I offended someone. I hope you enjoy. Also for the sake of things pretend that UA is a college 

I walk next to one of my best friends not noticing his heterochromiac gaze in me. I bite my lip deep in my thoughts i was still relatively new to the idea that I actually have to stay at UA college ever since it became a boarding school and to say I was nervous was a understatement, who would I be with? How would the rooms work? Would it be by class? What if I didn’t know anyone? What if-  “y/n,” shotos soft voice besides me brings me from my thoughts. I hummed in acknowledgement feeling my cheeks heat up worried he would be upset I was being like this. “relax.” He whispered softly placing a hand on my shoulder and letting out a warmth to help against the cool winter wether.  I felt some of the anxiety leave me.... some. Of course he wasn’t mad he knew how I got, anxious I was doing something wrong breaking an unspoken rule or not making everyone happy, worried constantly about grades, not caring for myself, all because of them. I smile apologetically at the duo colored hair boy. And he returns one back. 

But that doesn’t mean my anxiety’s of the dorm rooms would go away. We got to UA our bags in tow behind us as we walked up I saw a some of the people who have become some of my truest friends. Izuku Midoriya was standing next to Ochaco Uraraka, and I could see both there faces had a slight flush as there arm kept brushing against one another. I also saw Tenya Iida standing with them he was our class representative. I was still shocked I was in a class with such amazing people. As we came closer I also saw three other people approaching.  Mina Ashido smiled brightly at me rushing to give me a hug while leaving her bag to the two men she was walking with, I gladly welcomed the embrace needing it but never forgetting Shoto was right there because truth be told I would be crying already had it not been for his constant presences.  Due to her sprinting towards me it grabbed the attention of the group of three I had already noticed but my eyes where closed shut clutching to her. When we pulled away her two companions Eijiro Kirishima, and Katsuki Bakugo where also there now along with Midoriya, Uraraka, and Iida.  “Hi everybody!” I said happily willing the heat rising to my cheeks down. Whenever Bakugo was around my heart soared and butterfly’s formed in my stomach and if I dint keep my emotions down a flower crown would soon be forming on my head. Todoroki place a cooling hand on my back calming me but I think he did it to calm the heat glaring to my cheeks as all the eyes landed on me. 

“Hey there pretty lady!” Kiri said to me smiling pulling me into a hug and I gladly hugged my red haired fiend. He was always so happy which made it easier for me. 

“So does anyone know how this is all going to work?” I asked worried maybe I was the only clueless one. Most everyone looked confused except of course for Iida. “We will be placed by classroom into rooms all classes will have one common area but all of us have bedrooms, I am unsure at the time if any of us will be sharing.” I nodded my head “Of course no boys and girls will be sharing. Right?”

He gave a pointed look to me. “W-what’s that look for?!” I shrieked as I could do nothing to hide the blush. And when shotos hand left me due to him covering his mouth as he laughed it only seemed down my neck. “Oh come on we all know you and Todoroki are together!” Uraraka spoke smiling, Shoto stopped laughing.

“Not so funny know huh Shoto?!” He only glared at me But there was no heat behind it, and looked at our friends. “Me and y/n are not together.” He spoke seriously. All there faces turned to confusion and Midoriya spoke first. “Wait your not? But you two call each other by first name and you don’t do that to anyone else!” He said defensively. “Well yeah Shoto does it out of respect I don’t do it because none of you have given me permission to do so. Besides Shoto is like my brother, I could never do anything like that.” I smiled over at him and he returned it.

“Maybe stop making heart eyes at icy hot and maybe we’ll believe you, shitty woman.” Bakugo scoffed Kirishima hit his shoulder rather roughly at the look on my face. Usually his playful insults never bothered me and I’d fire back but that one.... he Used that one. Shoto without thinking shot out in front of me shielding me from everyone as I took a few steps back slowly. Third person P.O.V

Todoroki knew the moment the words left Bakugos mouth what would happen. He quickly moved in front of you and Shielded you from view. Kirishima never liked when his bakubro spoke to you that way knowing of his feelings towards you and yours towards him but he looked over and saw as you took a few steps back. Your eyes seemed to glass over and you had a far off look, one that reminded him of the pro hero’s who had seen to much in there time.

Everyone made a move to get closer to you but you quickly stepped back again, Shoto took another step forward practically growling, but you where to busy turning around to notice as you ran off. Todoroki let you knowing you needed space for a minute but he would give you no more time than that.

“What the fuck happened icyhot?!” Bakugo spoke daring anyone to mention the worry that leaked into his voice with a glare. No one mentioned it to worried, they had never seen you like that. You had an energy like Kirishima always happy and smiling always helping others. And your reaction to the name was not anticipated. So often you would fire something back at Bakugo that he was left feeling horribly guilty. Before anyone could ask Todoroki made his way to you.

Your P.O.V

Warning abuse flashback

I ran to the only place I had felt safe in all of UA it was a hidden garden long since forgotten at the back of the school. Once I had found it the first few days of school I instantly fell in love my quirk blossomed here. I could control all things natural from the elements to plants and animals. I could make animals listen and plants grow. But I also had the power to kill said plants easily. The trail of death I left behind in the grass as I ran a clear path to anyone but i was to far gone in my mind.

“You want to be a hero?!” His cold voice echoed in the basement the voice I still longed to hear praise come from. “Your quirk is nothing compared to mine. Do you hear me?! NOTHING! And besides....” he grabbed my throat roughly making me meet his eye, “your gonna be my slave for the rest of your stupid life.” His cold eyes once so filled with love broke the last part of my spirit I had left, I bowed my head in submission.

——

“Oh shitty woman!” His voice echoed through the house to my cage in the basement i whimpered. “Be ready cause I’m just pissed of tonight!” I shook out of both fear and coldness. I wasn’t allowed to wear anything except my shackles. He liked to keep me chained up my wrists attached to a chain that was liked to a metal collar around my neck. My feet also cuffed together. Both allowing me to move but never escape. I was his slave, his dog, his shitty woman, his punching bag, and his fuck hole. I had no other purpose anymore. I haven’t spoken to any of my loved ones in months? Years? Time blurred together, especially since I was locked away in the dark damp windowless basement. I heard his foot steps come thudding down the stairs, he held a knife in his hands, he liked to make me bleed.

I can’t tell how long it’s been, hours, days, minutes? All I knew was he wasn’t stopping and I knew one more cut, one more kick, I would be gone I couldn’t stop the happiness that flooded me I would be free.

I didn’t notice Shoto coming towards me till he placed his cool hand on one cheek and his warm one on the other the two temperatures grounding me slightly  

“y/n come back, you’re in your garden remember? I got you out of there, he’s gone he can’t hurt you.” His words shifted my thoughts to what happened next.

The hope I had just felt was suddenly ripped away as the doorbell rang. He growled and stormed upstairs stripping off the bloody shirt. I couldn’t hear anything but suddenly I heard his frustrated scream through the whole house the name he cried barley recognizable since the amount of time it has been since I heard it but a part of me knew.

“Todoroki!!” I laid there stunned... Todoroki? Thoughts of a pair of heterochromia eyes popped into my brain. The piecing blue and grey, but they held warmth. I could remember his hair two colors both white and red. I heard frantic footsteps rush down the stairs.

“y/n!” I heard a man yell I flinched but looking up I was met with those warm eyes except they had worry and fear i ached to take that away my mind still foggy on how I knew him. and it suddenly all came back, the times we spent laughing so hard tears streamed down our faces, sneaking into his home to see him when his father shut him away, sparing with him, creating flowers the same color as his eyes and hair.

“Sho...” I whispered the ghost of a smile in my eye the last thing I heard was his calming voice

“Don’t worry sweet flower I’ve got you”

“Sho?” I spoke the fog slowly leaving my brain I squeezed his hands to my face. “That’s it, there you go...welcome back.” I looked around and sighed but it was quickly turned into a hitch in my breathe as I saw the path of death I had created, quickly with a wave of my hand it was regrowing, Shoto smiles at me. “Sorry about that.” I muttered quietly he shook his head pulling me into a hug, “never apologize,” He pulled me away slightly staring at me directly in the eyes. “Never.” I nodded and he smiled at me grabbing my hand and helping me stand. It was getting dark so we headed back to what was now our class dorm.

When I entered I was quickly pulled into a hug I recognized it as Kirishima and hugged him back letting him hold me for a while as Shoto walked off going to his room. When I pulled away I looked behind him not seeing anyone else. “How is he?” I asked softly. “I should be asking about you.” He smiled softly “but of course you always worry about everyone else... he’s upset, to say the least but not at you more at himself.” I nodded and kiri showed me to my room turns out we didn’t have to share much to all of our reliefs. We loved each other sure but our own space was nice. It had been several hours and in that time I decided to clean my room, unpack everything, read something and scroll through social media all to distract myself from the inevitable nightmare I would have. But of course I drifted to sleep and of course I had a nightmare. I woke up hot a sweaty shaking away the flashes of the dream, I was back with my ex but this time he made bakugo watch as he did things to me and he begged and cried even though I knew the real bakugo had never shown such emotions to me but it seemed so real.

I walked out to the kitchen the mere thought of his eyes looking that way and my ex made me once again cry. I bit my hand the way I always did and before I knew it snow was falling above me.

“y/l/n?” I heard a voice behind me I turned around and saw none other than bakugo. The sight of his eyes made the sob I was holding back rip from my throat. They where the same eye from my dream the same look of pain and sadness in them.

“Katsuki-” I stopped myself despite my sobs. I felt a surge of dread wash through me. I knew I called him that in my head but to say it to him felt so rude without permission. I fell to my knees my hands taking position in front of my chest clasped together as I softly whispered

“I’m sorry I meant no offense bak-” I was cut off my soft hands cupping my face and sweat pants clad knees brushing against the skin of my own bare knees. “Don’t, katsuki is fine. I’m more concerned about what’s wrong?” I pursed my lips shaking my head. He sighed as he hoisted me up into his arms and began walking into the living room type area. He set my on the couch and then sat himself down next to me. “So tell me y/n, what’s wrong.” I took a deep breathe studying myself. He gave me all the time I needed and I was grateful. I sighed running my hand through my hair as I stood up. “what I’m telling you only Shoto knows I’m trusting you to keep this information to yourself.” He nodded sitting up and I felt like he had the same commitment to that Silent promise As he did to trying to be number one hero. “I was with an ex... and we where together towards our senior year of high school. You probably didn’t notice but well we went to the same high school you, and i know you knew that. But you probably didn’t notice my absence towards the end of the year. Well my boyfriend snapped or something and he... he made me his slave. Locked me in the basement, kept me chained, he would abuse me in every way possible. Sexually, physically, mentally, emotionally... and well Shoto... when he found me I was an inch from death and I was ready to welcome it with open and willing arms... that was a year ago.” His breathe hitched.

“Thanks to someone’s quirk a lot of the memories are gone... for the most part, I still have triggers and nightmares. One of those triggers being what he used to call me. I was his fuck hole, his slave, his... shitty woman.” I watched his hand fly to his mouth anger seeping into his eyes. “And today, I called you- oh my god I am so sorry!” He truly looked like he was about to pass out. “Is that why you where upset just now? Because of me? I can get my room transferred probably I’ll do whatever I ca-” I shook my head. “no not directly you, it was a nightmare I had but well uh.... you where in it.” I watched color leave his face I knew what he thought so I quickly stopped the thought from continuing by adding “my ex was doing those things in front of you! He was making you watch and I had to watch you... I had to watch your beautiful vermillion eyes be covered in pain and sadness and worry. And well you came into the kitchen and that’s the exact look i saw. And the reason it affected me is because I like you katsuki. A lot and honestly I’m sorry, because who wants some broken cry baby to be head over heels for them but I am and I understand if you don’t wish to speak to me again.” before I could comprehend what was happening I was being pulled into his arms. His scent of burnt sugar and caramel invading my senses. His hands moved through my hair and I hummed at the feeling.

“i feel the same way about you baby.” I sighed as I moved closer to him and he in turn pulled me into his lap. He rubbed his hands steadily up and down my back as he layer down on the couch. “I’m sorry all of that happened to you, I’m sorry I said that to you, and I’m sorry that I never went to check on you in high school. Truth is I did notice I just thought you moved or something.” We sat in scilence for a little while till I spoke up again.

“Katsuki...” he hummed “what am I to you?” He moved my head so I was looking at him. I saw his vibrant eyes and they warmed me throughout even my whole soul. “you... you’re my little flower, so delicate under harsh conditions but no matter how heavy the foot or how harsh the winter you’ll come back as vibrant or even more vibrant than before. You are my light, and my everything and if you will allow me the honor my girlfriend.”

Tears brimmed my eyes “Oh god, I’m sorry. Don’t cry! Shit! Um-” I cut him off smiling and he sighed and visibly relaxed.

“i would love nothing more than to be your girlfriend, firework man.” I gently leaned down my lips a hairs breath away from his and he leaned in closing the distance I sighed I had wanted this since I first layed eyes on him. It felt so nice.

“Goodnight katsuki.” I whispered as I kissed his jaw cuddling back into his warm bare chest on,y now realizing his attire but not caring enough to be embarrassed. “goodnight my little flower.” The last thing I heard before drifting into sleep was “ill protect you, always.”

[oh-so-scenarios]

Tell me...Say It [4]

Word Count: 4.5K

Genre/Warning: Angst, **mentions of death, fluff, Yoongi x  Female Reader, CEO AU, Pianist AU

A/N: Please excuse the errors, there are quite a bit.

⇾ Updates on Sundays 

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♫

I sit in the leather couch that was set in the middle of our big living room. My eyes were trained on the 13-inch MacBook air that rested on my lap. I was focused enough to barely tune out Da-hee’s loud voice. Barely.

“Y/N! Why do I feel like you’re not listening?” She accuses. I sigh and look up at her from under my eyelashes. I look back down at my laptop screen, typing up the reply to an email from an old high school friend.

“It’s because I’m not listening.” I finally reply resuming my typing. I can’t help but smirk at the groan of irritation that leaves her lips.

“Y/n, seriously, that was so embarrassing!”

My brows furrow at her words, “What was embarrassing about it? And since when do you care about what Mina thinks?”

She shakes her head, “Not Mina! Yoongi! The guy that was sitting at the piano.”

I nod my head slowly feeling like I should have known better. Da-Hee was basically drooling when I dragged her out of the music school. Though the ride home was filled with her bursts of anger, she mumbled the man’s name to herself a few times.

Yoongi….Yoongi. Where have I seen him before? I stop my typing, anxiously searching my mind to match his face to another memory. I have totally seen him before. You don’t forget a handsome face like his.

I start typing again, only for an image to appear in my mind. I gasp out loud, my hand coming up to my mouth out at the realization.

“What?” Da-hee hisses, “Did the whole incident replay in your head? Do you finally understand how crazy you looked?”

“No,” I dismiss her statement, “I remember where I’ve seen that man, Yoongi, from.”

Da-hee demeanor changes. She raises her nose up at me and crosses her arms.

“You’ve met him before?” She seems curious for my answer, watching my reaction intently.

“Yes,” I almost laugh, “Remember that blind date you had me go to?”

Da-hee groans and throws her head back. She puts her hand on her face before running her fingers through her tangled and frizz bed hair. I was wondering why she woke up so early today. Was it just to yell about me about the incident from 3 days ago? She’s been doing it every day since, but must she start from the morning?

She stands in front of me in a long and large black tee shirt. The letters “FG” pasted on it in big white font. Her morning slippers on her feet while she stomped them around out of frustration.

“That was him?” She cries, “Really? Y/n don’t mess with me! I’m not in the mood this morning!”

I lean back at her words, “Yet you’re in the mood to bother me? I am not lying. It was him! I told you he was cute didn’t I?”

“Damn,” She mutters under breath, “I didn’t know he was that cute.”

I look away from her emotional break down to open a new tab in my internet browser. I decided to find some videos on youtube to watch. I’m thinking that Da-hee will make an overdramatic exit out of the room like always, but she remains in her spot.

“Y/n, we’re still discussing this.” She informs me.

“There is nothing to discuss. You don’t need me, you can still make costumes for their play. It has nothing to do with me.”

“But imagine if I told them I convinced you to work with them! That would put me in a good spot with Yoongi.”

I scoff at her argument, “You want me to do this so you can get a guy to like you? Why don’t you try winning him over with your personality? Or your looks like you usually do?” I raise an eyebrow at her.

Her argument isn’t strong at all, and the pestering she’s doing won’t help her case. Before she could speak anymore, I cut off her words.

“Da-hee, you already know I don’t play piano anymore. I don’t compose anymore, period. What made you think I would let them use my work, let alone work with them?”

“But you love music! You love the piano, and you’re amazing at playing. You have to start back up eventually.”

“Says who?” I snap harshly.

“So you’re never going to play the piano again?” Da-hee sounds surprised. Didn’t she know that was always the plan? What was she thinking?

“Yes,” I answer simply.

An exhausted sigh leaves her lips, “Y/n...everyone knows you were born to play the piano! You know that! Are you telling me you don’t miss it?”

“I’m telling you that I am not going to help with that play.” I corrected.

“Jeez, when will you move on?” She whispers to herself. I find myself slamming my laptop shut, glaring at her with wild eyes.

“My parents died, Da-hee. You don’t get to speak to me like that.” The words leave my mouth like they were poison. Da-hee stares back at me with sad eyes.

“I know that Y/n...but damn, you’re still living aren’t? Well...just barely living.” She turns around and stalks out the room, her slippers squeaking against the wooden floor. I am left alone with my thoughts and the silence.

It almost feels like the silence is a hard hit in the face after Da-hee’s words. Just barely living. Why is that statement causing such a heaviness in my chest? I stare blankly at the space that Da-hee once stood in. My mind moves back to my 16-year-old self, the painful memories forcing their way into my mind space.

“Y/n, are you ready?” Mina said as she smiled at me. Her hands rested on her pregnant belly and I couldn’t help but smile back nervously.

I stood backstage at the Piano Composing Championship. This was a big deal, or at least that’s what everyone says. All these competitions were nothing to me. As long as I got to plan my music, and have it meet people’s ears... I didn’t complain. I looked towards the grand stage where a young boy sat at the black grand piano.

He was younger than me, yet he played beautiful, his piece showing the freshness of being young. It was clear in the way his fingers bounced off the keys and dancing gracefully.

I exhaled and leaned forward enough to see the front row of the audience where two seats remained empty. I stared in disappointment, expecting to see my parents there.

I turned away from the stage to look at Mina. She looked back at me expectantly, “What’s up darling?”

I stretch my hand out, “Can I have my phone, please? I would like to call my parents.”

Without any protests, Mina hands me my phone after digging it out of her purse. She was holding it for me, seeing as my plain red dress had no pockets. I am thankful to my parents who always drive crazy distances for my performances.

After moving to South Korea because of my father’s military duties, I wasn’t expecting to meet Miss Mina who further helped me grow my piano skills. Since I was younger I showed an interest in music and instruments. My mother would often take me to the community center and let me play on the grand piano that sat in the lobby. It was decoration, however, no one ever complained when they saw a young me playing.

Once we got the news that we were moving to South Korea, my mother moved quickly to find my a teacher, which is how I met Miss Mina...it has been years now and we have come far. Here I am at the Championship of this huge competition. There are contestants from all over the world, of all ages and I am one of them.

Music has always been second nature for me. Since I can remember, I have always had music playing in my head. Whether I was doing school work, sleeping, or just sitting with my thoughts. I always had music playing in the background of my mind. Sometimes creating my own pieces in my head, waiting to write it down to play.

Is this why they were calling me a genius? I can’t be sure.

My parents were my number one fans, always doing their best to be at my performances and competitions. The championship was far from home, requiring quite a drive. Despite the snow falling outside, they promised to be at the championship. That’s why it’s odd to see their seats empty.

I dialed their numbers and waited as the phone rang and rang before going to voicemail.

“Hey dad, I’m going up next and I saw that you’re not here yet. It’s okay if you can’t make it. Miss Mina will record it! See you soon!”

That day was the last time I heard music in the background of my thoughts. After that day it’s like the lights cut off and the piano grew out of tune. The music that played in my head was sad, out of tune pieces that sounded of death and agony.

I never touched another piano. I had the grand piano bought for me and customized for me by my parents moved out of the house. I have no idea what happened to it and I don’t care. I won the championship, but what was the title and trophy worth at that point? The snow was too heavy, causing my parents to get into a car accident, leaving me alone in this world.

What is the point of music now? Stupid piano. Stupid competition. Stupid music teacher. Stupid me. Stupid, stupid, stupid me.

Mr. & Mrs. Kim didn’t let me be alone for long, opening their home to me without hesitation. I was no longer alone, surrounded by people who love and care about me.  The pain never fully goes away. I have my bad days, and I have my good days. The people around me always tell me that the music would come back. The lovely melodies what always circled my mind would return as things get better.

And have they? I don’t know because I’ve never tried to pursue music again.

I didn’t realize I was crying until I heard Mrs. Kim’s soft voice.

“Oh, Y/n.” She calls gently. I snap out of my trance, my gaze moving to meet her eyes. My tears blurred my vision so I couldn’t see her clearly, but the sad look in her eyes was apparent.

I force a smile on my eyes, quickly ducking my head to wipe my tears.

“Sorry.” I croak, “I just got lost in my thoughts.”

“Oh darling, don’t apologize.” She coos almost running towards me. She moves my laptop to the side and sits beside me. She hugs me my from the side while I lay my head on her shoulder sniffling.

“You haven’t had a moment like this in a while...is everything okay?” She asks after some heavy moments of silence.

“Yeah,” I say, “I was asked to help with the music for a musical.”

Mrs. Kim didn’t reply right away, she thinks for some time. She wants to approach this topic carefully.

“Okay...and how do you feel about that?”

I shrug, “I can’t do it.”

“Can’t or won’t?” When I don’t reply, Mrs. Kim sighs and continues to speak.

“Y/n, have you ever thought that the reason you still feel so...empty is because you never went back to music?”

“I don’t think that’s it…” I reply softly.

“Darling, I am worried about you. These days it’s like watching a lifeless being go about a routine. Work, eat, sleep and repeat. It’s concerning. Maybe getting that music back is what you need to do to complete your grieving.” She says honestly.

I can’t help but roll my eyes at her words. Mrs. Kim removes her hands from around me to put them up.

“I am just saying what I think,” She reminds me, “I think...I think this could be good. Don’t you?”

“No,” I answer plainly still sniffling.

Her shoulders fall in disappointment, “Well...I can’t force you, darling. I can only tell you what I think.”

“Thank you for the advice, Mrs. Kim.” I smile weakly, trying to prove myself in better condition.

“I’m always here Y/n, so If you ever need anything, tell me.” She places a hand on my head in an act of affection before standing up and walking out the living room.

I let myself fall back into the couch. This is how I am spending my day off? Sulking? Being sad for myself? If Mina had destroyed my work like I asked, this wouldn’t have happened.

I closed my eyes and eventually fall asleep.

Yoongi parks his car in the half-empty parking garage, before placing his hands on the steering wheel in frustration. He stares out at the parking garage contemplating his options. His fingers begin to drum his steering wheel as he works his nerves up.

“Yoongi.” The voice beside him snaps Yoongi out his train of thought. He groans and closes his eyes. The peace and silence he had only lasted for a moment.

He forgot that Taehyung sat beside him in his car. Taehyung unlike Yoongi, was ready to put the plan in action. Taehyung didn’t want to think about it too much or else he would second guess himself. He is the one who suggested such an idea, but they were becoming desperate.

It’s been 5 days since the incident at Mina’s music school. The sheet music has not been destroyed but has been moved to Yoongi’s office at the company building. It all remains in the cardboard box it was found in. He can’t throw it away, he can’t.

So here he is, sitting in the parking lot of the hospital Y/n works at.

After doing some research Yoongi was able to find videos of Y/n at competitions and performances. All he can say is...amazing. He couldn’t find any articles or information on her reason for stopping and he was curious about her.

Though she stormed in angry, her beauty didn’t go unnoticed. He had his mind wrapped around her and her music for the last few days. It didn’t take him very long to realize that the woman who walked into his blind date with scrubs on was Y/n.

He smiled to himself just thinking about how she strolled in with such a relaxed attitude. Scrubs, slip-resistant shoes, and a tired look on her face. She walked right in and apologized on behalf of Da-hee, clearly tired from a day of work.

Yet at that moment, he remembers thinking, what a beauty. A beautiful who creates such beautiful music. The creative block he has been in for the last few months is on the brink of a breakthrough but...he needs her to get past this. He just knows it.

That is why he agreed to Taehyung’s idiotic plan. Taehyung suggested just talking to her calmly while she is on break. Jimin told them that he usually takes his break the same time she does.

“Hyung, come on. Let’s just go, say our say and leave it.” Taehyung opens the car door and steps out before Yoongi can say anything. Yoongi turns off the engine following suit. He walks behind Taehyung, his hands in the pockets of his dress pants. He’s wearing the suit he entered the office with this morning.

They entered the hospital, and make their way to the floor Jimin told them Y/n is usually in. As they stand in the elevator Yoongi keeps his eyes on the floor.

“What do you think she’ll say?” Taehyung asks curiously.

Yoongi looks at his friend’s eager expression, “You want my honest opinion?”

Taehyung nods.

The doors of the elevator open and Yoongi pushes himself off the way he was leaning on.

“I think she’ll tell us to fuck off.” He states as he steps out the elevator. He didn’t see Taehyung’s downcast expression, but he was expecting just that. She seems very straight to the point. She won’t entertain something she won’t do. He can tell this just from their two interactions.

Yoongi walks up to the first desk he sees, Taehyung trailing behind him. He ignores the small gasp on the woman’s lips as her eyes twinkle at the two men’s appearance. The nurse smiles at Yoongi and bats her eyelashes.

“Hello sir, how may I help you?” She speaks softly. Yoongi’s eyes look around the hospital floor before answering.

“Is Y/n around?” Yoongi says looking at the nurse at the desk. Her brows furrow a bit.

“Y/n?” She repeats. She turns around to ask the other nurse where Y/n is but doesn’t get a chance.

“What about me?” Y/n calls out as she walks around the corner. Her feet halt when she lays eyes on Yoongi and Jimin.

“Ugh.” She groans and rolls her eyes, “Why are you two here?”

“Y/n, hi,” Yoongi says nervously. Taehyung seems to notice his friend’s slightly flustered state but decides not to speak just yet.

“We’re sorry to bother you...we just wanted to speak to you again, under calmer terms,” Yoongi explains.

Y/n looks at Taehyung who flashes her a small smile. She looks back at Yoongi, not hiding the way her eyes moved down to his feet and back up to him. The two men sit in that strained silence, ignoring the other doctors and nurses that buzzed around them.

Y/n huffs and turns around to head to the elevator. She doesn’t say a word as she steps in the elevator. She doesn’t say anything when the two men also stepping into the same elevator they just walked out of. The silver elevator doors begin to close and Y/n takes out her phone from the pocket of her scrub shirt.

Taehyung leans over to peak at her phone, “What are you doing?” Taehyung asked curiously.

Y/n keeps her eyes forward when she answers, “Getting ready to call the police once we step off this elevator.”

Yoongi almost laughs at her reply. She’s funny.

“Wait, Y/n! Let’s not be hasty! We’re not stalking you or anything, we just wanted to speak to you.” Taehyung explains.

“Yeah right. Let me guess, Dr. Park told you when I go on break? You’re lucky I don’t have my pepper spray on me.” She hisses at Taehyung. The elevator doors open to bring them to the first floor of the hospital.

“Where are you headed for lunch?” Yoongi asks, “I can give you a ride.”

“It’s just the sandwich shop across the street, there is no need.” Y/n denies his offer. Yoongi just nods, keeping up to walk beside her. Taehyung is walking on her other side, strolling like they’re two friends going for lunch. Y/n stays quiet all the way up to the door of the sandwich shop.

Taehyung opens the door for her and steps in not before uttering a little, “Thank you.”

She orders her food while the two men sit at a table near a window. She denied their offer to pay so while Y/n was ordering, they came up with a game plan.

“So we just tell her everything honestly. Tell her that we’ll pay her, she’ll be credited..or won’t if she doesn’t want to be. Just don’t ask her why she stopped playing.” Yoongi says to Taehyung. Taehyung nods, agreeing with the plan.

It’s not long before Y/n sits down with her sandwich but doesn’t make a move to eat. She leans back in her chair with an irked look on her face.

“Well, speak.”

“Oh-” Taehyung started, “So I want to start by saying, it was never our intention to use your music without asking. We found your music by mistake as well. Yoongi played it and it felt like my heart was soaring. The pieces were beautiful. So I am working on a musical, which if successful, could bring in a lot of money and help propel many careers.”

Y/n’s face didn’t change much. She sits and listens to Taehyung speaking.

“We don’t want to keep bothering Y/n, but we do want you to know that your music is beautiful. I want your music to be part of the musical. I actually want your music for the whole musical. Yoongi wants to work with you, and Jimin is eager to write lyrics. Our intentions are not ill, Y/n. We want to work with you and collaborate with you.” Taehyung wraps up his words.

Y/n looks over to Yoongi, “What do you have to say?”

“I agree with everything Taehyung said. I want to work with you to make this musical something great.”

“Mhh.” That is all that Y/n says.

“W-we are going to be at Mina’s Music school on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays. Please think about it Y/n?” Taehyung adds. Y/n doesn’t respond but lets the men know she is done with the conversation when she leans forward and grabs her sandwich to eat.

“Thank you so much for at least hearing us out,” Yoongi says as the men stand out of their chairs. Y/n nods, the irritated look on her face not changing at all.

Y/n sat in her car staring at the music school. The lights were on, but the parking lot was almost empty. There were one or two cars parked on the further end of the parking lot. She sits there staring at the building. She drove herself here, but she’s not sure why. She doesn’t think it was the words of the two men from 3 days ago.

Maybe it’s Mrs. Kim’s words from almost a week ago that brought her, but she knows that it couldn’t have been her own mind that brought her here. The three men, Yoongi, Jimin, and Taehyung weren’t present yet. She knew that because she doesn’t see Dr. Park’s fancy white Hyundai.

Her heart is beating against her rib cage and her nerves have her stomach twisting uncomfortably. Her shaky hands sat in her lap, while the cold of the outdoors began to leak into her car, seeing as she turned the engine off.

She opens the door and takes a step out. She closes the car door and slowly makes her way to the school. Deciding to come on her day off was the right choice. If she made her way here after work, she would convince her tired self to turn around.

Just like before, she strolls down the hallway passing many classrooms with grand pianos. She doesn’t make it to the room she stormed into last time because something stops her in her tracks. A cracked down that showed a preview of a room that doesn’t look used.

She stops walking, pushing the door wider to find something that was covered with a big grey sheet. The sun was setting and the few rays that shined through the opened window exposed the dust floating in the room. Also scared to step into the room, Y/n looks around the room.

Unlike the other practice rooms, there were no posters, no stands or even sheet music left behind. She steps closer into the room, realizing that it was a piano covered in a big grey sheet. She stops walking again, leaving her in the space between the door and the covered piano.

Y/n had thoughts of turning around, not knowing what led her to this room when a voice spoke causing her jump.

“Of course this is where you find yourself.”

Y/n spins around to find Mina leaning against the door frame. She has a small smile on her face, her bob pulled into a ponytail while her bangs rest on her forehead.

“I-I was just leaving.” Y/n defends ready to leave.

As if she didn’t hear Y/n, Mina continues to speak, “It’s almost like your soul knew where it was and led you here.”

Y/n’s brows furrow at her words, a bit confused by what she meant. She wordlessly walks into the room. Y/n steps out of her way, watching as she bends down, grabbing the bottom of the grey sheet.

She walks to the opposite side of the room, slowly uncovering the piano. Dust was flying in the air caused Y/n to cough a bit. Y/n was ready to complain when her eyes landed on the black 2000 Yamaha C-1 grand piano.

Her eyes widen and her body freezes. Mina watches as Y/n approached the familiar piano on shaky legs. At that moment Mina felt like she was looking at the 16-year old Y/n.

Y/n blinked back tears as she stood in front of the piano. Her piano...the piano her parents worked hard to buy her. So this is where it’s been. She reached out a shaky hand and slowly placed it on the fallboard. She slowly pulls up the fallboard revealing the white and black keys. She sits on the bench trying to collect her swarming thoughts.

Y/n slowly lets her fingers graze the keys, not pressing down to emit any noise. She looks up from the keys at the wooden music rack. Her eyes settle on the words professionally printed on the music rack.

To our lovely daughter, Y/n.

Y/n has her fingers touch the golden text, inhaling deeply as the huge weight that has been sitting on her chest all these years seems to disappear.

When she exhales it comes out as a choked sob, tears streaming down her face. Sobs begin to leave her lips, sounding throughout the room. She brings her hands to her chest and hunches over the piano letting the tears run down her cheeks and off the tip of her nose, dripping onto the keys.

Her whole body shook as she cried.

Mina who also has tears running down her cheeks slowly back out the room and begins closing the door just in time for the 3 men walking down the hallway to catch a glimpse of Y/n.

Mina closes the door, meeting the 3 pairs of curious eyes. Mina’s own face flushed with red eyes yet beaming with a big smile.

“Don’t worry about her,” She almost whispers, “She’ll be fine. Just leave her be.” With those words, she walks back down the hallway to her office.

Yoongi, Jimin, and Taehyung all stand out the door for a moment, the sound of sobs leaking through the dense wooden door. They don’t stand out there for long, heading towards their regular meet up room with Yoongi’s piano.

Y/n can’t be sure how long she sat there emptying out all these feelings. She can’t be sure where she has been keeping all this...hurt for so long but it felt like a purge of baggage.

Once her crying stopped, she leaned her head on the fallboard of the grand piano. Her eyes were closed as she worked on catching her breath. She was so exhausted, she debated falling asleep on the floor. She stayed in that position, now sitting in the dark because the sun had set and the lights weren’t turned on in the room.

As she sat there listening to her own breathing a beautiful melody began to fill her...ears? Y/n’s eyes snapped open. No, this music was not being played away and she definitely hadn’t heard this anywhere before.

She slowly sat up, staring at the dimly lit white keys of her piano. The moon gave enough light for her to barely make them out.

The music...the continuous melodies in her head.

It’s back.

[sombrz]

Hello please talk about king explosion murder

THE BOY!!!!!

can you believe i spent months trying to be lowkey about my bakugou ships? it took me a while to even admit he was my favourite despite the fact i knew from the start i’d end up a bakugou stan. i never had a ‘oh no this kid’s a mean terrible person’ phase - it was a ‘oh, i can’t Reveal my character tastes like this. not like this.’ phase.

this got…..long. so uh. under the cut it goes:

ANYWAY: i ship bakugou with…..uh…….a lot of characters. kiribaku is the easiest to explain - dumbass jock boyfriends who do shit like baku using kiri as a hammer to make mochi. and kiri being gung-ho about testing his unbreakable mode (which, btw, was motivated by bakugou’s words!!!) by having bakugou fucking. use howlitzer impact on him. you know how i feel about bro ships (hint: i love them). how kiri went from ‘man this bakugou guy is nuts!!! we have to stop him!!!!’ to ‘wow bakugou is so manly and cool and i wanna be by his side’ in the span of (1) one-on-one convo. HE LIKES BAKUGOU SO MUCH. IT’S CUTE. LIKE, I DON’T THINK BAKUGOU GETS HOW HAPPY HE MAKES KIRISHIMA LMAO. how bakugou so readily accepted kiri as an equal - bakugou, who only had two categories for people [extras vs rivals], never thought to seriously think of kiri as anything but an ally and a friend, people always talk how kirishima was the first classmate bakugou even bothered remembering the name of, and with reason, since it says a lot. kiri’s got quite a bit of mlm subtext going on, tbh, and bakugou’s the source of almost all of it. soooooo there’s that too. 

but i’ve also fallen Deep into bakudeku. it’s the shared development, okay. the history and complex emotions and the slowburn to becoming partners. there’s just so much, and they’re so ENTRENCHED in each other. for better or worse, for how much they might dislike the fact they can’t stop thinking about each other, they just can’t help it. they couldn’t understand each other at all but somehow still knew the other inside and out. and deku’s been so smitten since he was like a baby 3 year old and it breaks my heart. it’s honestly one of my favourite shounen rival ships bc it keeps subverting your expectations. and every episode/chapter that deals with their issues and nudges them closer to the ideal - the endgame - is guranteed to be among the best. they’re the backbone of the series, and i love watching them grow together. the fact that they’re currently HEALTHY RIVALS AND TENTATIVE FRIENDS (like deku feels so comfortable gushing over bakugou to his face again and bakugou is so invested in deku’s improvement & is only snappy w/ him out of reflex lmao)….that bakugou is deku’s secret keeper and deku is the one person bakugou allows himself to be vulnerable around……HOO BOY. i just imagined bakugou holding out his hand for deku to take - or accepting deku’s hand at all - and died.

ALSO, TODOBAKU….my darkhorse ship, which hit me in the face one day when i realized how a) hilarious they are together and b) how the series keeps shoving them together (sometimes literally - thanks slidin’ go for giving them the group hug they deserved). i love how they’re so different yet similar - bakugou is loud and obnoxious while todoroki is stern and quiet, but they’re both rude prodigies who needed to be jumpkicked into realizing that they could become better people with the help of others instead of letting anger and bitterness swallow them up. and the provisional exam course made it so they were forced to hang out with each other 95% of the time for three whole months and i LIVE FOR THAT. i love how funny they are - todoroki is snarky & doesn’t even bat an eyelash over bakugou’s tantrums but genuinely tries to be nice and make friends with him! bakugou is so petty and wants todoroki’s attention soooo bad but don’t think i haven’t noticed that most times we’ve seen him genuinely smile has been in todoroki’s presence (ok, then todoroki reacts to it and bakugou instantly goes back to a snarl but STILL). also the fact that the narrative doesn’t want us to forget that bakugou eavesdropped on todoroki telling deku about his family, and bakugou is always Alert and keeping an eye on todo whenever endeavour is involved bc he’s sympathetic and y’know??? cares????? SO GOOD. AND THEY’RE SUCH A GOOD TEAM - SURPRISINGLY IN SYNC AND THEIR QUIRKS MATCH UP AND I LOVE THEM!

GOD, HORI…..BAKUGOU/URARAKA WOULD BE SO GOOD. like, can you *imagine* the sheer potential of a ship that you only really have them interact during one goddamn tournament fight and yet it becomes arguably the most popular het ship in your series (w/ only the main character and his canon love interest as real competition????) i love them though, like,,,,i find it so interesting that uraraka has shown, despite again - minimal onscreen interaction - that she understands bakugou better than most. she knows how he’d handle their fight and uses that to her advantage. (and while she still lost, she gained his respect and a new drive to get stronger!) she’s the one who brings up how HE’D feel about the plan to go rescue him - that his pride would prevent him from easily accepting help. i’m desperately trying to figure out a way they could animate that omake where uraraka plants herself in deku’s seat and demands that bakugou bury the hatchet with him while gently but firmly calling him out for his root issue of fear and his defense mechanism of violently pushing deku away. and it managed to calm him down and honestly, i wouldn’t be surprised if he ruminated on those words for a while. IT’S SO GOOD, WHY WASN’T IT IN THE STORY ITSELF!!! and like, the mere fact he respects her a lot and ended up *psyched* to continue fighting her - and after he’s told deku had nothing to do with her plan, i don’t think he’d make that mistake again, which makes it easier for him to understand her back. he knows she’s smart and talented and that everyone else was wrong to underestimate her. also, i love that uraraka thinks bakugou is like…..funny? he’s out there threatening to murder kaminari and uraraka’s like ‘hahaha :’’)))’ bc she has such a Bro/vulgar sense of humour. like, i think they’d have a lot of fun together. LET THEM TALK MORE, PLS!!!!

THOSE ARE MY MAIN SHIPS BUT I ALSO SHIP HIM WITH THE REST OF THE BAKUSQUAD! BOTH PLATONICALLY AND ROMANTICALLY! I HAVE NO SHAME! baku/kami is so underrated and great - kaminari is just as much bakugou’s bff as kirishima is, tbh, and he has absolutely No Chill which makes their interactions - especially the further the story goes and bakugou’s edges soften - so much fun. one moment, he’ll be casually commenting that bakugou is the worst and needs to change his whole rotten personality - then the next second, he’ll be sprawled all over him, calling him kacchan and defending his honour from actual haters. and bakugou just fucbdhfhd lets this happen. bakugou likes kaminari enough to just let him. do whatever the hell he wants. ALSO, THE BAND. admittedly, sero is the only one with enough common sense and actual standards to avoid dating bakugou (’HE’LL NEVER BE BEAUTIFUL’ ghdhfhd sero) but i still adore them. sero’s so tricksy and loves playing the reverse psychology trick on bakugou, who just constantly falls for it. i bet he was the first person bakugou let just hang out in his room, and he probably appreciates that sero actually gives him his space when he needs it! i can’t believe baku/sero is the Real ‘bakugou pining’ ship. @ hori: GIVE MINA AND BAKUGOU ACTUAL INTERACTIONS, GDI. i’m forced to headcanon their whole dynamic from near-scratch. whereas kiri and kami are more the type to glue themselves to bakugou’s back, i imagine mina’s the type to actively drag bakugou along places. she probably cried when she found out that a) his parents are rich designers (’BUY ME CLOTHES, BAKUGOUUUU’) and b) his glycerin-based quirk and taking after his mom means he usually has perfect skin and has never broken out in his life. she doesn’t speak to him for a week until he takes her out to dinner and buys her a cute dress. and i’m super fond of baku/jirou. i love that their dynamic is like…..while the rest of their friends are doing dumb shit For The VineTM, they’re on the sidelines waiting for shit to hit the fan. they’re punk buds and prob do that couples clothes switch thing a lot just to see if anyone notices. jirou bosses him around and he takes all her advice seriously and like, they trust each other! they have great team synergy! she was the first person bakugou both consciously protected and asked to protect him in turn!! DID I MENTION THE BAND?? i also ship him with camie! it’s just such a funny concept to imagine - like imagine you’re in class 1A and bakugou shows up out of nowhere with a hot girlfriend who talks. like that. and she makes him laugh??? and no, seriously, does he actually understand what the hell she’s saying???? WHAT’S HAPPENING. but yeah, she very casually teases him but also seemed comfortable w/ him right off the bat and i know in my heart that bakugou relented and let her have his phone number. also, i find it funny people started shipping him with shindou after bakugou was the one to call him out for being duplicitous. bakugou’s the type of character that just needs to interact with another character once and *someone* out there will be like ‘what if………..they were dating’ and that’s so valid of them.

good bakugou ot3/ot4s: kirishima/bakugou/uraraka, todoroki/midoriya/bakugou, todoroki/inasa/camie/bakugou. i reblog a looooot of kirishima/kaminari/bakugou and bakugou/uraraka/midoriya even tho i don’t actually ship either as an ot3 that much, oops? they’re good ships tho.

is there something i’m missing? I MIGHT BE MISSING SOMETHING.

[bolbianddolanhouse]

BNHA self insert AU

New to the AU? Start here!

Chapter 40: What the FUCK is Up Kyle?!

My new job as an independent agent is really what I needed in my life. I can do everything I want to focus on with more time now! My relationship improved and less stress in my life! What more could I ask for?

“Oh girkies, you are not gonna like your new assignment” Jin winced as he entered the room with files in his hands “we all got called upon for different things.”

Mimi opens her file and skims the cover page “I’m getting sent to Hiroshima for a WEEK?!” she slams the file closed “what in the actual fuck!”

I open mine and skim “I’m being summoned to Shinjuku for an undisclosed amount of time” I squint to see if I’m reading the mission briefing “for a new conjugation?” I scowl in confusion “like a new agency or what?”

“That confused me too but then look how it’s coded” Jin tapped on the tab on the file “its Blue, it’s a personal invitation, the person summoning knows you personally and asked specifically for you.”

“But I don’t know anybody out there” I’m more confused “and the crime rate there is pretty low, but I guess if they need me” I sigh and close the file “I guess I should help them.” I do some research on the area and recent crime before I went on the meeting day. Nervous as hell, I show up to this un-marked but guarded building.

“State your identity and purpose” sternly spoke one of the guards.

“I’m Agent 19 of the Emperor’s Coup” I present them with my agent license and agent crest “I’m here for a summoning of high sensitivity.”

“Oh my goodness, it’s her!” gasped the other guard “the agent that knows! ahem, um, please come in and head upstairs to meeting room 2-J.”

“Thank you” I walk in as they moved aside for me “take care.” There was nobody where I first walked in so I just quickly made my way up the stairs, steel toe boots clacking on the tile stairs. It was uneasy feeling to be alone in this place, no trace of others occupying the space, just empty office cubicles. I get to the meeting room and the glass wall to look in was boarded off like nobody is supposed to know what or who’s inside. I slip on my anti-prints gloves on and put my left hand on my holster, whatever the hell is behind that door, I wasn’t going to risk it. I knock “Hello? Anybody in there? This is Agent 19 of-” before I could finish my sentence, I heard hollering inside of the room and bust open the door “FREEZE!” I do my power stance and get my gun locked and loaded.

“Please don’t shoot! Put the gun down!” it was a very familiar whiny voice.

I lower my gun and saw a familiar mix of pro heroes “Midoriya?!” I identify the green clad man, I put my gun back in my holster “Oh man, what the fuck is up?!” I took a better look around “Oh shit Tenya, I didn’t know you got summoned too.”

“I was wondering why Midoriya wasn’t telling us who he recruited” he wiped his glasses “he was saying it was somebody we could trust and knows about his secret.”

“Well now that I have everyone here, please take a seat” Midoriya motioned me to sit as everyone else readjusted themselves “there’s somebody after my secret and they know somewhat about it. Lately somebody is getting a little too close to me to know more and I just know it’s the League of Villains.”

“They’re STILL at it?” I blurt “but one of their most powerful left the group about a year ago, how are they functioning?”

“See, we didn’t know that” Mina responded to me “but we suspect it’s one of us.”

“And that’s what makes it hard to know” Midoriya sighed “that’s why I recruited you, over the years of living and working with us, you know more about our habits and routine.”

“So you want me to find the traitor among y’all huh?” I pieced the logic together and he nodded “easy peasy! Why didn’t you say so earlier?!” I whipped out my gun and pointed to Mineta.

“IT’S NOT ME! SWEAR! PLEASE DON’T SHOOT ME!” Mineta literally cried and sobbed like the little bitch he is.

“Dang, I really hoped it was him” I pouted and put my gun away.

“You should’ve made the shot anyways” Jiro sneered.

“Okay, what do you need us to do to determine the traitor?” Midoriya reshifted to the pressing matter.

I scan the room “well, not to be that bitch but we gotta get on lockdown” the room erupts in murmuring “I haven’t seen or talked to some of you guys since my rise to fame. Think of it as a sleepover! Where we go home after I solve a puzzle.”

“So be it! Nobody is to leave this building until she figures it out.”

And so we all just awkwardly hang out in one space. I was more on guard than anyone else there, seeing all these old classmates again got me a little fucked up. I decide to explore the building a bit when something a little strange happens.

“Wait up, where are you going?” Tenya asked me as I wander away from the group “can I come?”

“You can come along” I said as I pointed to the stairwell “I wanted to see more of this building.” As we walk up the stairs, I wonder if this is MY Tenya. I hate to think those things but only one way to find out. “Hey question, what did I cook for breakfast today?”

“You made huevos rancheros with toast because we had too much sliced bread before grocery shopping day” he described with no hesitation.

“Whew okay” I sighed in relief “I was going to go feral if you were the traitor.”

“I know baby” he held my hand as we got to the next floor “I’d never betray my friends or you, plus I have a lead on who it may be.”

“What’s the suspicion?”

“I wasn’t feeling too keen around some of the girls” he lowered his voice “usually they’d ask me about you but today only Mina and Uraraka asked while Momo, Kendo, Tsuyu and Jiro didn’t.”

“That is some odd behavior” I pondered as I walked around the third floor “in that case, lets go back down there, I have a plan.” I teleport us back to the others and checked if that provoked any type of new reaction. Noting unusual yet, the day progressed and it was night time when I came up with a new idea.

“Hey Shoto” I whispered to get his attention “come! I have to ask you something.”

“What is it Ita?” he jogged over to me “why are you hiding behind these boxes?”

“Can I borrow your face?” I asked as he leaned in for me to copy his quirk “Hmm, you’re definitely not the traitor” I take my hand off his face “also, how’s Touya? I haven’t swung by to see how’s the fam.”

“Oh he’s doing great, he asks about you time to time” a smile breaks on his face “he has a crush on you and it’s silly because you’re with Iida-kun now and Touya is just being irrationally jealous.”

“Oh bitch that’s cute” I giggle and stand up from my hiding place “I’m hungies! TENYA!”

“YES?!” he yells from a distance.

“I’M HUNGIES!”

“YOU HUNGIES?! WHAT DOES YOUR TUM TUM WANT?”

“NEED MEAT! AND NOODLES AND KISSIES!” I look around at the others to see their reactions to our baby talk.

“Ugh that’s cringe” Kaminari said disgusted “I’d never get pussy whipped like that! My girl does things for herself.”

Jiro stabs Kaminari with her jacks “Stupid he’s not pussy whipped! It’s called loving your partner and communicating” she huffed “you never want to do couple things with me like that!”

From the sounds and looks of their argument, I’d say Jiro and Kaminari aren’t the traitors. I turn to Kendo, I haven’t seen her since graduation and I really want to know what’s going on in her life.

“Yo Kendo, haven’t talked to you in a hot minute” I opened up casually.

“Yeah! Since graduation but I’ve been doing well” she smiled “heard about you and Iida finally dating. I’ve been going strong with Tetsutetsu, 3 years now.”

“Oh wow I didn’t know you two were dating, we should go on a double date sometime!” I really missed out on a lot, last I heard, Yuka and Tetsu were still together “it’s so weird how time has flown by and you just forget to keep in touch.”

“Yea, I was shocked to find out about Shinso breaking up with you” she put her hand on my shoulder “I was really rooting for you two to get married and such but he just ran off like that. But now that he’s back in Chiyoda, I’m sure we’ll all get reunited as some point.”

“Wait, he’s in Chiyoda?”

“Yea, he moved in a few months back with Monoma” she pulled up a picture on her phone “see, Tetsu and I went to see him when he moved in.”

I looked at the picture, it was all four of them in the living room just hanging out. Shinso looked different, it was just strange to me that he lived with me and I’ve been trying to chase him down for years for closure. “What a cozy home, I heard about the suburbs there being a really nice place for peaceful living.” I said to prevent myself from breaking down. So Kendo wasn’t the traitor either, it now comes down to Momo, Tsuyu, Kirishima, Ojiro and Tokoyami. I later determine that Momo, Kirishima and Tokoyami aren’t the traitor because they used their quirks and interacted with me like they usually do. It’s 2am and it’s down to Oijiro and Tsuyu.

“Are you doing alright love?” Tenya softly asked as I was floating around “can’t think?”

“It’s so hard to determine between the two” I sigh “I can’t think of another method! Too hungry to think straight” I loosed my uniform collar “and stuffy, wheres the thermostat?”

“I believe Kirishima found it in that weirdly spacious break room on this floor”

“Thanks, I’m going to clear my head” I floated down to walk “I’ll be back in a few.” I make my way to the break room and to my surprise Tsuyu was already there boiling water “Oh hey, couldn’t sleep?”

“Nope, I miss my bed.” she spoke tiredly.

Something wasn’t quite right on how she was speaking to me “Same here, but hows the fam?” I start to make casual conversation to not raise suspicion “I remember you saying that little bro wanted to follow in your footsteps.”

“Oh yea it’s almost time for him to make the decision” she poured the hot water into a cup “they grow up so fast.”

As she was talking, I locate the thermostat and start to drop the temperature “They sure do! Say, we haven’t spent quality time in a long time” I stop the thermostat at 49 degrees “we should organize a reunion cook out! Have yall together like this oddly makes me miss yall!”

“Oh that sounds lovely!” she smiled “I missed having you around too!”

Tenya walks in the room shivering “Hey is the thermostat broken? It’s too cold.”

I felt the chill of the temperature drop and saw that Tsuyu wasn’t even flinching... that’s not very frog-like of her.

“Will you get me my visor from the meeting room dear?” I politely asked Tenya “I’m going to try to fix it.” I wait for him to walk out the room to slam the door closed and get locked and loaded “THE GIG IS UP IMPOSTER!”

“What are you talking about 19! It’s me!” she was frightened.

“Say my name then” I cock my gun “my real name.”

The sweat pours from her face and her eyes read ‘I’m in danger!’ “Um...Ai-” I didn’t let them finish and I just shot them in the leg. Instantly, their body melted into grey sludge. Everyone ran to the room in high alert.

“What happened? Who was it?!” cried out Midoriya.

“It was a Tsuyu clone” I put all the pieces together “I noticed her speech was different, no ‘kero’ at the end of her sentences. Plus when I dropped the temp to almost freezing, she didn’t get into hibernation mode.” I came to a terrifying realization “where’s the real Froppy?”

The others gasped and franticly tried to reach out to her and the agency she works at to know her whereabouts. It didn’t take long to find out she was safe at home and didn’t know that she was summoned to this meeting. The tempering of this information started at work, to my surprise, it was the work of the League of Villains. If I didn’t already rescue Touya, I would’ve thrown hands instantly! But I have to keep things undercover until I catch the mimic villain or I’ll be a victim of their game.

-3 weeks later-

“Thank you again for inputing a system in our agency” thanked Midoriya as I was installing said system “I knew I could depend on you!”

“No need for all that, I’m just doing what I do best” I press the activate button and start inputing some code “aaaand it’s loaded up and ready to serve! With this new boost to your already existing security system” I pat the device on the wall “this baby will keep the imposters and villains away.”

“That’s incredible!” awed Midoriya “I never thought you’d be a security tech mogul that’d save my livelihood.”

“Shut up, you’re still a broccoli ass twink!” I punched his arm playfully “don’t forget who protected you and Bakugo’s ass back in the day!”

“I suppose it’s all the same” he laughed “let me treat you to lunch! Ochako and I want to say our thanks.”

“Sure, I didn’t have lunch plans anyways” I shrugged as we headed up stairs to the main floor of the agency.

“Great! Let me get my bag” he jogged to the locker room “I’ll be right back!”

I stand there and check my phone for any updates from work. Today was my day off from CEO work but lately the company has been swamped with custom orders and consultations since we added rabbits and reptiles to our companion line. I’m just waiting to get called in by Beizu or Jin to help them out with coat production or new consultations.

“Oh my goodness! If it isn’t Miss CEO herself!” said a very familiar voice.

I look around and don’t see anybody looking my way or trying to get my attention “Who the hell said that?”

“On your left”

I look to my left and there was a face on the wall “oh...it’s you” I said flatly and uninterested “Hello Mirio.”

“Aww you don’t sound excited to see me!” he completely phased out of the wall.

“I’m never excited to see you, I’m not a teenager” I didn’t have to look down to know he was naked “and please for love of SIR NIGHTEYE put on some pants!”

“I heard my name” sternly spoke Nighteye himself “Togata please put on some pants, you’re embarrassing me in front of our esteemed partner here.”

“Yes Sir!” Mirio phased away, almost comical like.

“He was much more bearable without the quirk” he rubbed his temples “at least I didn’t have to get my eyes harassed by nudity in the workplace!” the man sighed as he fixed his glasses “Miss Palma, I thank you for your services, they mean a lot to me. My visions have changed now that you’ve installed that security boost.”

“Didn’t you foresee me installing it?” I questioned his statement, I didn’t believe my choice made that much of a change.

“I didn’t, I think you’re an anomaly to this timeline” he smiled “that’s a good thing, you’ve altered the fates of everyone and everything you come across with, including your own.”

“I have?”

“Yes, thanks to you, a second war between villains and heroes has been replaced by a time of peace” I see the glow of his quirk “and see myself aging gracefully into old age instead of dying before I get a chance to retire.”

“If you say so” I smiled “then I guess it’s what I do best.”

Midoriya jogged back “Sir! Palma-san and I were going to lunch with Ochako” he stopped in front of us “was there something you needed?”

“Oh no, I was just talking” he turned to go back to his office “have a good lunch, tell your wife I said hello.”

We head to lunch and Ochako dropped the biggest news on me.

“You’re pregnant?!” I nearly choked on my water “Oh my god congrats you two! When are you due?”

“In May! I’m so excited to be a mom!” she gushed “but it looks like you have some news to tell us too!”

“I...don’t?” I said confused as they leaned in and looked at my hands.

“You have a ring on, are you and Iida-kun getting married?!” Midoriya had a big dumb smile on his face “how did he propose?!”

“Oh I bet he made it extra perfect with flowers and candles-” Ochako was getting into the fantasy before I interrupted her.

“He hasn’t popped the question yet, I told him to take his time with asking me” I pointed to my ring “this is my official Emperor’s Coup Agent ring. Engagement rings go on the left hand, this is on my right hand.”

“But Palma-san, why aren’t you married yet?” Ochako asked my curiously “you and Shinso were so close that everyone thought you’d get married first. But now that you’re with Iida-kun and seem to have a better dynamic, why take your time for marriage?”

“Well, I learned that nothing good comes out of impatience. I love Tenya with all of my heart, body and soul BUT I want him to feel like he doesn’t have to trap me with marriage right away” I wipe my mouth of the water I choked on earlier “he’s learning how to love me and be a better partner everyday, with all the effort he puts in to make me feel loved, I’m not worried about marriage or kids. Our time will come.”

“I didn’t think of it like that” Midoriya thought about what I said “you must really love him to have him take his time.”

The subject was dropped for the rest of lunch and we parted ways. I got home to wait for Tenya to get out of work but I slipped into deep thought. I’m 23, with 24 fast approaching, all my old classmates are getting married or having kids at this point...my biological clock is ticking and I don’t know if I can carry a baby past my prime. Maybe I should stop my birth control? What a shitty way to make me feel like I’m wasting my prime years on making robotic animals and crunching crime statistics! I try to make myself not fall further into this hole by playing my cheer up playlist but then I fell down the Joji hole and got emo.

“I’m home” Tenya said as he entered the house “I don’t like the sound of that music, that’s some sad hours music” he checked the time “it’s almost 7! Sad hours isn’t for another 5 hours!” he opened the office door to see me slow whip to Fried Noodles (Getter Remix)  in my Ingenium hoodie and fuzzy socks “this... is a mood that I don’t understand” he rubbed his chin “what happened?”

“I’m just tryna vibe again” I slow dabbed “the Midoriyas got me fucked up on their vibe, I’ve been a bad mood since I got home but I’ll get over it” I sigh “I didn’t cook a whole lot, I diced some fish and tossed it in some sauces to make poke and there’s rice.”

“Oh alright, I’m here if you want to talk about it some more” he coaxed her to open up more “come eat with me.”

“I already ate, I was trying to get a hold of one of my friends right now” I floated back to my computer desk “it might take a while, so just eat and I’ll come to bed soon.”

“You ate already?” he was a little taken back from this sudden change “well, don’t come to bed too late.” He closed the door behind him to eat dinner, by himself. Tenya didn’t read too much into her dismissive behavior as she teleported to her side of the bed at bedtime. 

-The next day, at work-

“Thanks for the extra hand Iida-kun!” Sero thanked Tenya for helping him at a moment’s notice “I really needed help with crowd control today! Who knew the shopping district was going to be this wild today?!”

“It’s no problem! I’m happy to help” Tenya chirps as he takes off his helmet in the safety of the agency building “it’s been a while since I’ve seen you and the others here!”

“Oh shucks Iida-kun, with a girl like Palma-san, I’d be too busy to spend time with the boys too” he nudged “how are you and Palma-san? Anything exciting?!”

“Nothing exciting lately, she’s just really busy but it’s all good” Tenya recalled last night “just last night she was doing work even though it was her day off! So busy that she didn’t cook and ate before I got home for dinner.”

Sero’s smile disappeared “Wait, did she just make rice and made a quick cold dish and told you to serve yourself?”

“Yes actually! She made poke.”

“Oh man F in the chat fellas” Sero pray squatted and Tetsutetsu, Kaminari and Sato followed suite.

“What are you-”

“Iida-kun what did you do to that poor girl?” asked Sato “she never gets upset.”

“I didn’t do anything, she said the Midoriya’s ruined her vibe” he recalled “she said she’ll get over it and it wasn’t a big deal.”

“Naw my man” Tetsutetsu put his arm around Tenya “when your girl does things without you and puts the least amount of effort on dinner, she’s mad at you.”

“She didn’t look-”

“Next thing you know, she’ll be going out with her friends again and stop cooking for you altogether” Sero puts his hand on Tenya’s shoulder “she’s mad because she caught baby fever! Ochako’s preggo and all the girls they know are catching it.”

“I don’t think she wants to have a baby right now” he chopped “we aren’t even married.”

“Even worse! Dude you gotta propose soon or she’s going to leave you” Kaminari warned “do you at least spice it up in the bedroom?”

“We have fun in bed” he turns red in embarrassment “that’s none of your business!”

Sero shakes his head “Oh boy, what did we keep telling you in high school?! DON’T WAIT OR YOU’LL LOSE HER TO SOMEONE ELSE!”

“Thank you for your concerns but we’re fine” he politely said even though he wants to yell “we don’t need any meddling in our relationship, when the time is right, I’ll ask for her hand.”

“If you say so Iida-kun” Sero pat his head “she’s unpredictable.”

This bothered Tenya all day, in his mind he knows it’s illogical for her to run off because of her line of work and in his heart he’s confident that she’ll be loyal and voice her burdens. 

“I’m home” he called out as routine.

“I’m in the room!” called out Ita.

He walks up to the room and saw her get ready for a night out “What all this for?” she turned around and he saw that she was wearing the boob window dress “that’s a new dress.”

“I’m going out remember?” I put on my earrings “it’s Mimi’s birthday and we’re going to Daggers.”

“Oh that’s right!” he forgot that she told him 2 weeks ago “you look really tempting in that dress” he put his hand on her shoulder “are you sure we can’t have a little bit of fun before you go?”

“Babe please, the limo is going to be here any minute to come for me” I block his attempt at a quicky “maybe when I get home” I kiss his cheek “I made beef stew, help yourself” I get a text and saw that it was Jin asking me to teleport to Mimi’s place “oof gotta go! I’ll be back before sun up, love you.”

She teleported away before he had a chance to say it back. As he ate dinner alone, he wondered if what the others were right and he should just ask her despite what she said. The days and weeks pass and she’s getting held up at work some nights and there’s no dinner ready or there’s a cold-dish and rice dinner for him on nights she was on-call. Tenya was scared, it’s December and everything that the boys warned him about happened except for her leaving him.

“You have one request from Mama to video-call, would you like to answer?” yipped Muffin 2.0.

“Yes please, pull it up on the office computer” I get up from the couch “I gotta take this, it’s important.”

“Is there something wrong?” asked Tenya as he paused the movie they were watching “don’t you want to answer it on the widescreen?”

“Not this time, I’ll explain later” I dash to the stairs “keep watching without me, it’s cool and I might take a while.”

Tenya sat in silence, staring at the paused screen. It’s her day off and the first one in a while where she wasn’t occupied with something and actually spent time with him. To be fair it was a half day for him but still. They’ve gotten into arguments on her scheduling and sleeping habits, but only because he brought them up to understand why they haven’t spent any time together. He feels like she’s bending his way and isn’t happy. After nearly an hour, she pops back down stairs.

“How was it?”

“Hm? Oh it looks like my family is going to be alright” I was confused for a bit “my brother got injured and they couldn’t afford treatment for a while, I sent them money a few weeks ago to cover everything and my brother is going to be alright.”

“Oh that’s good to hear” he was washed over with relief “also, it’s dinner time, come help me cook.”

I check the time “Cook? Well I guess, it’s already 7″ I sigh with a little lazy groan “let me get my phone real quick.”

At that moment, Tenya was struck with realization, he forced routine onto her! She’s not having fun because of the lack of chaos, she THRIVES in chaos and disorder! He has to think quick!

“Actually, gets go out to eat”

“Go out? But I’m not in the mood for a sit-down restaurant” I whined “I wanna stay in my fuzzy pants and hoodie.”

“That’s fine” he smirked “lets go to McDonalds.”

“Deadass?!” I yelled as I could not believe he suggested it “well lets hop in my car and-”

“No babe, I’M driving” he grabbed his keys before she could argue “I know you love the seat warmers on high.”

“Oh si? alrighty then” I jump onto his back “lets go! I’m hungies.”

We get to the drive through and Tenya realizes that the last time he had McDonalds was in High school only because Ochako and Midoriya were broke and didn’t want him to pay for their food.

“What’s good at McDonalds?” he asked her “do they still have those little cheese burgers?”

“Tenya, did your parents not love you enough to take you to McDonalds past the age of 5?” I question as I know it’s common knowledge what’s good at McDonalds because of all the advertisements on tv and in public “personally, the triple cheeseburgers and sweet tea are my go to’s but anything on the deluxe menu is the good stuff.”

“Can you order for me?” he asked shyly, like a child asking their mother for help “I trust your food judgment and I don’t know what to get.”

When it was our turn to order, I ordered all of my favorites like the McMuffins, Triple cheeseburgers, nuggets, a cone, McDonald’s Sprite and Sweet Tea. I got recognized only because I frequent that McDonalds.

“Okay we should go home and-” I say as I set the food on my side of the car with a cone floating in my face.

“Lets go eat at the peer-over” Tenya interrupted her “I don’t want to go home to eat.”

I was in shock “Excuse me Mr. Don’t Eat In My Car! but did you just suggest we eat in YOUR car?” I watch him nod and flip his turn signal the opposite way from home “well if you say so.” We park at the peer-over and we’re the only car there. To be fair it was too cold to go on the walking trail that connects to the peer over and it was dark. We start eating and Tenya gets his first taste of that McDonald’s Sprite.

“Oh that’s why the boys get large cups of this” he shivers a bit “it tastes like electricity.”

“RIGHT?! It will baffle me on why it tastes better than canned or anyone else’s Sprite!” I laugh as I see him another sip and shiver again “what impulsed you to do this?” I poked his forehead “what’s going on in here?”

“I just felt the need to try something new” he didn’t want to admit the truth “and I thought you might want to go out because it’s been a while since we went on a date.”

“Hm...” I didn’t believe him and squinted at him “fine, keep your secrets” I eat my triple cheeseburger “but it has been a while since we’ve gone on a date, routine got me fucked up.”

That made Tenya’s jazz music stop in his head, she just confirmed his fear. What is he going to do?! What can he do to make the situation better or change? “Yeah! Isn’t it nice to just get away from home for a bit?”

“Yeah, it’s nice” I pulled the seat recliner all the way down so I could lay down and eat “I needed this, I love you.”

He reclined back too to see her better, the most he looks at her, the more he feels at ease. It’s a full moon tonight and the moonlight peers through the sunroof and illuminates her. In his mind, this was a sign from the universe and who was he to ignore the universe?

“I could get used to this sight” he sighed lovingly at her messy eating, a fry in her hair, licking the sauce from her fingers “from now, into forever.”

“Heh was that a proposal?” I joked at what he said because it sounded overly romantic for what’s actually going on.

He grabbed her hand and held it with both of his hands “Yes actually” he cleared his throat “I want to spend the rest of my life in your world, your the disorder that balances my routine, the spice in my food and the moonlight when the daylight leaves. Will you marry me?”

I couldn’t believe what was going on that I almost dropped my nugget “Oh Tenya, of course I’ll marry you!” I laughed and almost started crying “how the hell did I end up getting off guard like that! You sneaky little boy!”

“I can’t believe you said yes! To be honest I didn’t set out with the intention of proposing” he laughed with me “but the universe was swaying me to ask you at this moment” he rubbed his thumb over my knuckles “No ring or anything, just my aching heart and soul.”

“I don’t care if you gave me the biggest pearl in the ocean or the rarest rock in the galaxy” I squeezed his hand “I don’t need a ring to prove that you love me, money can’t buy what we have.”

They spent the rest of the evening scheming how they were going to tell their family and friends. It was exciting to see how this new chapter in their lives was going to unfold, in more ways than one.

To be continued...

<Previous - Next>                           

[franeridart]

Soooo Tumblr tagged your new post as "Content for Adults Only" and I can't see it 😢😢 srsly tumblr is pissing me off rn

Anon said:I don't understand how your most recent post about Denki is blocked by safety mode????? Like it's just your art of his birthday! I love the art of it tho, it's fantastic! Keep up the amazing work.

Anon said:*whispers* the thing you just posted contains sensetive media apperantly

Yeah it’s most probably Mineta isn’t it

(jk it was probs my inclination to swear my way through life’s fault, I asked for a review so it should be visible in a bit but for now you can see it here !!)

Anon said:!!! I didn't know when Kaminari's birthday was but his is the same as mine and I'm even more attached to him now !!! Thanks for bringing that info to my attention and also your doodles were amazing I love them and I hope you have a nice day!!

Yay for you and yay for him too!!!!!!!! I hope you’ll have a great birthday tomorrow, anon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And thank you!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:I can't remember if you've already answered this question but in light of Kami's birthday - you once did a comic showing what everyone from the Bakusquad would get him for his birthday, so I wanted to know what do you think Bakugou would get all of his friends for their birthdays?

Bakugou has the hardest time coming up with birthday presents, presents are just Not A Thing He Does, he tries but it’s just ???? I mean think back to how he tried to cheer Kirishima up, that boy is so damn awkward - that said, given how all his friends gave him something he felt the need to show them he could reciprocate, so this is what he came up with: 

Sero’s actual tastes in material possessions are a total mystery for everyone, they make absolutely no sense, but what Bakugou KNOWS is that the fucker likes to eat his greens, so that’s what he did for him - he cooked the healthiest and tastiest meal he could manage to make, spent a whole damn lot of time researching it too, and Sero was honestly so touched (he loved it)

Jirou got a offer to go with her to a concert she couldn’t find anyone to go with - she hadn’t outright asked anyone, but it was clear she wanted to go but not alone - the band was too much for all of her friends, so she was sorta letting the idea of going go. Which is when Bakugou offhandedly mentioned that he’d heard there was the one gig from that one band and he was thinking of going since he liked that band and whatever she wanted to come or something? Bakugou had just spent the last day and a half listening to the band’s discography for the sake of making it believable and Jirou saw right through him (she didn’t mention it) (but man Bakugou could be seriously nice couldn’t he)

Mina’s present was to actually agree to go to her party. That was it. Mina’s parties are the opposite of Bakugou’s ideal place to spend a whole night at, they’re loud, and there’s drinking, and dancing, and the whole school is invited and it’s packed, so when she asked him to come she never thought he’d actually agree to go and stay the whole night, but boy did he. He also let her pick his outfit (Mina recognized the effort for the present it was. She was delighted)

Kaminari got a shopping trip - it went like this: Bakugou mentioned he was going to the mall, which always ends up with Kaminari tagging along just to go window shopping. So he stopped in front of the windows, pointed at stuff, made noises about the deals, and Bakugou went “wait here” and then went in and bought whatever Kaminari had been excited about. It happened four times before Kaminari caught on, and then Bakugou literally had to threaten him to make him stop holding back “I’m deciding I wanna do this so I’m doing this” (he still held back, but by the end of it Kaminari had actually whined the sentence “Bakugou please” pointing at yet another jacket or shirt of necklace way more than once) (he was so damn happy he didn’t even think about how he had absolutely no space for everything he’d just bought to fit in his room)

Kirishima was the hardest one (pun intended). Kirishima was actually so difficult Bakugou spent months thinking about what to get him and came up empty handed anyway. He was so damn complicated that Bakugou sucked up his pride and straight out asked him what he wanted for his birthday. “I don’t want to fuck this up”, he said, and Kirishima smiled so hard and so wide and so bright, it felt like enough of a present for him just hearing that. He told him he wanted to spend the day with him, so they did that - studied, sparred, ate, hung with the others. Bakugou didn’t think it was enough of a present since honestly it felt like any other day, but Kirishima was happy, so he guessed it was fine (he found and bought a super rare super expensive Crimson Riot figure to gift him anyway) (Kirishima cried)

Anon said:You are so awesome!!!

sob thank you SO MUCH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ;A;

Anon said:It's t[odobak]u week! It's honestly a ship I never thought about, but ever since I saw fanart about them I've been thinking about their dynamic as a couple. How would that even work with their personalities? I know you don't really ship Katsuki with anyone else but Kiri, but let's say for some reason Bakugou and Todoroki got together. How would you describe their complicated relationship/dynamic? I've been thinking about it ever since I saw that fanart Q_Q

I talked about my feelings for these two’s relationship here!! But in all honesty I just can’t see them as romantics (if I could I’d probably ship it hah) so I can’t say how it’d work for them in a relationship of that kind... mostly because all I can think of as an answer is “it wouldn’t work” haha rip

Anon said:I love when you draw Bakugou being a big old softy

Fun fact: I take the fact that Mitsuki is unapologetically soft to Masaru as a good enough proof that in a romantic relationship Bakugou would be the softest to his partner - he’s already soft enough for Kirishima, can you imagine how much more he’d be after being openly in love with him for years? (I can) (it’s beautiful)

Anon said:More adult!AU please!!!!!!!!!!!

Uhhhhhhhhhhh sure, but it wasn’t really an AU tho! It’s just me playing around with their designs a bit, I’ve been drawing them aged up now and again for a while now (tho I admit mostly what stays constant in the design is only the hairstyles, everything else changes based on how I’m feeling it atm) anyway yeah, more will come in the future! Can’t promise the designs will stay totally unchanged, tho haha

Anon said:We only have to last one more day until the next chapter (probably) kills us all with the feels. Thank you to you and your art for getting me through this terrible week of waiting.

;A; you’re welcome, I’m trying to keep myself sane with my own doodles too so helping you along is a beautiful most welcome side-effect

Anon said:Could i have a ref of your adult kiribaku scars? if not i understand! have a great day!

No probs, just, I can’t draw right now cause of hand-problems so you’ll have to make do with me telling you where they are? Also that’s just how I went for it in that drawing, it’s nothing set in stone, really, I keep on adding and moving them around every time I draw them

The only scars Bakugou has there are on his palms - cover the whole of it and reach a bit on the inside of his wrist too, they’re burn scars and come from overusing his quirk one too many times. Kirishima’s got more - aside from the canon eye one he’s got one on the left side of his mouth, one on each forearm in the same spots he’s been hurt in the latest chapter, and one covering most part of his upper back (this one he got protecting civilians with his own body too often and breaking one time too many)

Anon said:I don't know if you take request or not but if you do, could you draw adult bakugou with baby kirishima and vice versa, please? 😙😊

I already have tho!! x x x

Anon said: Holy crap, scarred up hottie Kirishima with the black roots saved my life

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! glad you liked him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *O*

Anon said:denki at the end of your last post is me xD

*whispers* honestly same

Anon said:Okay but think about how fucking pissed Baku would be if Todoroki tripped and fell and broke his ankle walking up the the battle arena and they didn't even get to fight because Todoroki can't even stand.

Listen, listen, if anything like this happened Bakugou would take Todoroki off his list of worthy rivals asap why was he ever even interested in this guy why did he even waste his time like this he’s so done

Anon said:I just got my wisdom teeth removed and can't pronounce "f" , and all I can think ab is Bakugo, in the same case, being pissed as hell because he can't say "fuck" anymore

That’s the moment the squad learns that Bakugou uses the word fuck out of convenience and not because it’s the only one he knows, really (did all those swear words even exist) (how does he even know so many)

Anon said:Fran I just found out why you've stopped posting Haikyuu as much and?? I feel so bad?? Because you're absolutely right, the fandom might be pretty healthy compared to others but it a certain idea of what should be and what shouldn't be. Like the minute you get into the fandom you're bombarded with the "canon" ships (which aren't even canon smh) and then there's other ships which are just automatically designated as "brotp" and if you don't follow the norm then you get hate. (1/2)

And it just makes me feel terrible because you obviously love(d?) Haikyuu a lot, and drawing for it, but then the fandom basically forced you to leave. And that just makes me really really sad. I used to be sad that you didn't draw for Haikyuu much anymore (because despite fandom I do love the series very much) but now I'm just. Really glad that you found BNHA and are having fun drawing for it. Ahaha this is kinda pointless but I really respect you and so?? Just keep doing you

Thank you so much oh my god orz it’s... true, posting for hq hasn’t been half as fun as it used to be, lately, but I do still enjoy it! Between everything the fact that the fandom is sort of asleep atm does make me lose even the last motivation to draw more, so! I’m pretty confident as soon as the fandom wakes back up I’ll start posting more for it again! After all I love the show and all the characters a lot still~

Anon said:*chanting* Draw that hair angst! Draw that hair angst!

I’m trying !!! (tomorrow might just be the right day)

Anon said:i just recently started watching bnha and i'm IN LOVE!!!! i'm also glad i can appreciate your art more bc now i actually know who the characters are 😂

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m SO GLAD you’re liking it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And thank you SO MUCH for sticking around even while you didn’t know the show!!!!

Anon said:i love your art!!!!!! im gay!!!!!

tHANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and great for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:  I can't believe Kirishima wears Franeridart brand knickers

It’s the most popular brand on this blog, really

Anon said:bro i don't even read/watch bnha. why am i so invested in these kids. it's,, it's your fault isn't it. you're being paid by horikoshi (is that the mangaka's name?) to reel us all in aren't you. EXPOSED, FRAN

Joke’s on me anon, I’m not even being paid for this (lol) (since you like the kids you should really give the show a try, tho *nudge nudge*)

Anon said:hi just a friendly reminder that kirishima eijirou is amazing and incredible and so are you

Being given the same compliments given to Kirishima might as well be the best thing ever happened to me.... oh my gods.............. thank you............

Anon said:There's only one way for me to find out if my Quirk is breathing under water

Anon no

[onlylovekpop]

Underworld | 12 | Paris

synopsis: bts versus got7 gang au warnings: language, violence, and smut word count: 5,942

[ Yoongi point of view ]

It had been a tense reunion. For once, Mina was afraid of us.

Timidly, she approached Hoseok but eventually raced into his arms, crying into his jacket with relief. He cradled her tightly, whispering in her ear that he would never let her down again. Mina cried until she was spent of tears.

Then, her attention turned to me. She came toward me cautiously, motioning for us to move out of earshot of the others, and murmured, “We need to talk, Yoongi.”

“Talk,” I huffed, folding my arms.

Mina narrowed her eyes and hissed, “You’re doing all this to make up for what you did to me?”

“Yeah, I said some sappy shit in the heat of the moment to calm you down,” I retorted, shrugging with disinterest.

Mina scoffed and replied under her breath, “I see right through you, Yoongi. For the first time in my life, you don’t have the upper hand over me.”

I uncrossed my arms and stepped forward, inching nearer to her face, and murmured, “You left me. I don’t owe you anything.”

“You owe me my heart back,” Mina snapped, brushing past me and striding to rejoin her brother.

I stiffened, clenching my fists together as I steadied myself. I couldn’t let her break me. Not now. Not ever.

We gathered our vehicles around the helicopter and entered yet another riveting debate about what to do next. Those whose opinions didn’t count for shit always did the most yelling.

“I say we take this thing and head straight to Iceland,” said Jimin anxiously. He still hadn’t recovered from his recent brush with infection.

Mina stepped forward just as Namjoon began to speak and interjected, “We’re going to Edinburgh. Not Iceland.”

“You said you would decide by the time we got to Prague,” Hoseok reminded.

The members of Seven all flinched visibly at the mere mention of that city. It was etched in blood in their minds.

“I’ve decided we’re going to Edinburgh. Strengthen ourselves there to the point we can ward off any attacks,” Mina continued, obstinate.

Jackson suggested, “After what happened here, the military may think twice about coming after you again.”

“No,” argued Namjoon sternly. “They’ll be sure to strike twice as hard next time.”

“And now they have a way to disengage us. That airborne virus took seconds to corrupt us,” Jinyoung reminded with a foul taste in his mouth.

Yugyeom spoke up, “Iceland is isolated and has its own military presence. They could ward off any attacks.”

“But Iceland could be no better than the others. They could still turn Mina into a pincushion,” said Jungkook in rebuttal.

“You have to choose between the lesser of two evils,” prompted Hoseok to his sister.

Mina exhaled slowly. Then, she turned to Mark and asked, “What do you think?”

He seemed surprised that she relied on him for an opinion. The spy had been leaning against the hull of the helicopter, listening to all and saying nothing as he always did.

“Iceland, Mina,” Mark told her. “I think if we stay on this course and something happens to another one of us, you’ll regret not having brought us to a safe haven.”

Mina blinked in surprise. After a pause, she muttered, “If I voluntarily let them study me, it would take away the possibility of them wanting to lock me away.”

Remy added, “They want a vaccine. As long as we contribute what we can, they may leave us be in return.”

Mina met the redhead’s eyes and nodded.

“They would be providing safety, shelter, sustenance for all of us,” Namjoon said. “The two of you would be paying the bill.”

Remy and Mina exchanged glances and shrugged in sync.

“Let’s go to Edinburgh first,” Mina said. “Contact them there. If they agree to let us live freely in exchange for us letting them study us for a vaccine, then maybe we can go.”

“Alright,” Jimin cheered with a clap of his hands. “Now, do we drive or fly?”

“The chopper is big enough to fit all of us, but we would have to leave a lot of gear behind,” informed Jackson after inspecting the aircraft.

Taehyung and Bambam immediately balked.

Yugyeom and Jungkook turned to clamber inside the helicopter, seeing how much room could be spared. A moment later, Jungkook crouched in the hull’s opening and called out to us, “We can’t risk too much weight.”

“How much can we get away with?” asked Namjoon.

The hackers paused with bated breath.

“Between weapons, tech, and supplies, there’s no way,” replied Yugyeom, jumping out of the chopper.

“Then, we drive,” piped Bambam.

Remy turned to Mina, simpering worriedly, and murmured, “It may be time to split up, my dear.”

Mina gawked in surprise.

“Split?” echoed Jinyoung in disbelief.

Jackson sighed and I knew in that moment he and Remy had already discussed this. Probably with Jin at the helm.

Remy faced us and said, “With Jin, we’re taking the fight to these guys. Last night, when all the shit went down, Jackson and I cleared out a safe house of theirs.”

Jackson cracked his knuckles proudly and added, “We have unfinished business with these bastards. Maybe, if you guys ultimately choose to go to Iceland, we could meet up with you there in the future.”

Remy nodded.

“And this is a good time to admit I’m not big on the Iceland idea,” said Jungkook. “I’m a driver. I need wide open spaces. An island in the middle of nowhere gives me anxiety just thinking about it.”

Youngjae scratched the back of his head and said, “Yeah, I’d rather stay someplace familiar. Like the base in Edinburgh.”

Namjoon held up his hands and everyone quieted down.

But then Bambam spoke up, “What if we go back to the house in Prague?”

And to our surprise, Taehyung agreed with him.

I didn’t want to deal with the argumentative shouting that followed. So I did as I always do; I meandered away.

To my surprise, I was followed by the last person I would have expected.

“We’re dividing,” Mark said as he and I walked aimlessly until the noise was dulled.

I shrugged. “Seems so.”

Mark put his hands in his pockets and continued, “I go where Mina goes. And she’ll go to Edinburgh.”

I stopped, turning to him, and replied, “We have to get her to Iceland, Mark. Something tells me it’s the right thing.”

“Me, too,” Mark admitted softly.

Looking away, I shifted my weight. “I know you’re the endgame too.”

“What?” Mark questioned.

I rolled my eyes. “You’re the right thing. She’ll figure it out eventually. She’s just waiting for me to fix her.”

“Then fucking fix her,” Mark hissed.

“I can’t. Only she can do that.” I sighed. “And when she does, she’ll finally be done with me.”

Mark tilted his head and narrowed his eyes. “You say that like you’re okay with it.”

“I’ll be at peace about it. You love her more than I ever could.”

Mark said nothing. He studied me, searching for lies, I’m sure. Then, he nodded.

Jackson approached us a few minutes later and crowded into my face aggressively. I didn’t even flinch.

“This is goodbye for now, asshat,” he teased.

I blanked in surprise.

Mina was in tears as she bid a few farewells. When Jackson hugged her, she tightened her arms around him and refused to let go.

“Come on, kid,” he teased. “A hitter per zombie. And you’re already spoken for. Plus I have a feeling Remy wants to ride my…”

“Hey,” Mina exclaimed.

Jackson snickered and patted her head, kissing her brow affectionately.

Yugyeom and Jungkook hugged briefly, joking lightheartedly that they would meet again because they still had to have a balls to the wall high speed race across Europe to prove who was best.

“You have enough fuel for France, maybe,” Jungkook told his friend. “If you know what you’re doing, of course.”

“Of course,” Yugyeom whined, sticking out his tongue.

Namjoon turned to Remy and said, “You’re in charge of these kids. Guard them with your life. Please.”

“You have my word,” she replied sweetly.

Mina saw me returning with Mark and panicked momentarily until she could sense there was no tension between us. She faced the spy and asked, “If you want to stay here, I won’t hold it against you.”

“I go with you,” Mark replied without missing a beat.

Mina smiled warmly.

Only a few hours later, the Eiffel Tower was in sight. But Paris was grey. The color was stolen from it.

Our new helicopter descended gracefully on to the tarmac of the airport. Jimin and Yugyeom were in charge of refueling while the rest of us found a place to bunker down for the night.

While we walked, Mark and Mina were at the front, like a pair of teenagers on a date in the city of love. He had been going out of his way to make sure all things were smooth between them since he had been infected.

Discreetly, Mark brushed his knuckles against Mina’s hand until she rolled her eyes and grasped his fingers, interlacing her own through his.

“You could have stayed, Mark,” Mina murmured, looking down at his hand. “You choose me.”

“I will always choose you,” Mark replied without missing a beat.

Mina rubbed her thumb over his finger.

“Mina, one thing,” Mark started quietly.

She listened intently while Bear tongued at her swinging hand as he trotted at her hip.

“After that kiss, are we… back together?”

Mina replied, “I hadn’t thought about it, Mark. But… give me a little more time, okay? I have unfinished business.”

Mark nodded without protest, figuring she meant the virus that turned her into some form of animal.

But she meant me.

Jinyoung and Hoseok spoke quietly to each other, debating the road ahead as always. Jinyoung had refused to return to Prague, for obvious emotional reasons. He preferred to stay close to Namjoon for now. Jinyoung wasn’t used to calling the shots. He was geared for being an advisor and needed that role to keep control of himself.

Hoseok had surprisingly become a friend to him.

“I meant to ask,” Jinyoung started curiously. “Why does she call you Hobi?”

Hoseok glanced forward to see Mina at Mark’s side as she smiled at the sights around them. Despite it being doomsday, there was little to no structural damage to Paris. But it was still dead. No sign of life to be had. Even still, for someone who had never been to Paris, it was a sight to behold.

“Since she was young, she has always said I’m her hope,” Hoseok eventually answered, fighting a grin. “And she’s my joy.”

“You’ve built your life around her, haven’t you?” Jinyoung questioned gently.

Hoseok nodded shamelessly. “Yeah, and I have no regrets. She’s my baby sister and I would walk through hell and back a million times for her. So many people never have and never will know what it’s like to love someone this much.”

“You’re lucky,” Jinyoung whispered.

Hoseok nodded yet again, finally unable to keep back his smile.

Mina turned, walking backwards so she could meet her brother’s eyes, and called, “You know I have superhuman hearing, right?”

“Through hell and back, baby sis,” Hoseok replied. “Nothing has changed.”

She smiled from ear to ear and said, “I love you, big brother!”

Hoseok blew her an extravagant kiss. Mina pretended to catch it in midair and tuck it into her pocket before turning back around to take in the city of Paris.

Somber, Hoseok whispered, “Love you too, Mina.”

Mina chuckled at his belated reply, but continued on her way.

Hoseok sidestepped closer and hit Namjoon’s arm with the back of his hand. With his leader’s attention, Hoseok silently mouthed the words, “If anything happens to me…”

Then, he pulled a letter from his pocket and handed it to his friend. Namjoon frowned, wanting to argue, but Hoseok shushed him, pointing at the girl with superhuman hearing ahead of them. Namjoon took the letter reluctantly, forcing it into his own pocket, and nodded his acceptance.

From my place at the back of the group, I watched it all unfold and I wanted to cry my eyes out at how far we had come and how far we still had to go.

A small hotel lay nestled in a massive collection of buildings. It was inconspicuous and that was what made us settle on it. We followed the routine – eating, washing up, and avoiding any and all conversation that involved whether we would still be alive by morning.

“City is all clear,” said Taehyung over the radio. “Get some sleep, everyone.”

“Thanks, Tae,” said Hoseok.

Mina towel dried her hair, fresh from a shower, and Bear followed her dutifully, hoping to get more food. With everyone settling down for the night, I left the room and stepped into the hallway. I planned to think for a while on my own, and eventually crept into the suite across from the others.

I needed some silence.

And I got maybe five minutes of it.

There was a knock at the door and I replied with a disgruntled, “Come in, if you must.”

Mina opened the door and shut it behind her.

It was tense, to say the least. She fiddled with her fingers and stood before me as I sat on the edge of a bed.

“I’m gonna go back to Mark,” she suddenly blurted.

I lifted an eyebrow. “Oh?”

She nodded, biting her lip anxiously.

“And you stopped by to tell me – why?” I questioned, feigning indifference.

Mina pressed, “Will you let me go? Or will you fight for me?”

Shrugging, I let my hands dangle between my legs, avoiding her eyes. “I have no claim on you,” I replied.

“You don’t?”

“I don’t.”

She spat, “Liar.”

I rose to my feet and stood her down, growling, “Spit it out, Mina. What the hell do you want from me?”

She stepped closer, fixating on my eyes. “Give me something,” she whispered. “I feel so empty. Tell me I mattered to you.”

This was it. This was the moment. Either she would finally break free of me, or I could take her back. God, I wanted her for myself. It was selfish. She deserved to be happy, to be with someone who could give her the world.

But I was so damn selfish.

Inching closer, I whispered, “You matter to me.”

Mina wavered unsurely and pushed, “More.”

Her voice was my undoing, like my hollow but pretty words were hers. My fingers sought out her skin, gravitating to her hopelessly, and I imagined what it would be like to be drowned in her warmth after so long. As far as I was concerned, she was all fire and heat.

And the only thing that could melt me.

She shivered when my fingertips danced across her wrist, brushing past to take hold of her waist. The surprise flickered in her eyes and her mouth parted as a labored breath sighed through.

“Yoongi…”

I snapped.

She gasped when I pushed her back, crushing her against the wall, robbing her of a chance to inhale as I pressed my lips to hers. In an instant, her fingers were in my hair, tugging me even closer as she sucked on my tongue in her mouth.

Feeling her body pressed to mine, I felt complete again. I was whole for the first time since she’d left me. It wasn’t fair, but I couldn’t bring myself to give a damn.

I kissed her for what felt like an eternity, giving her every opportunity to push me away and retreat through the door at our side. She didn’t. Instead, she did everything in her power to keep my against her while I dominated her mouth.

Satisfied she wanted this as much as I did, I spun her around and stepped between her feet. She was already lost in me, barely catching her breath between kisses as I steered her toward the bed. I traced my fingers across her lower back, massaging before grasping the hem of her shirt and pulling it up.

She broke from my mouth long enough to rid herself of the garment and immediately collided her lips back to mine the moment she could.

The bed squeaked as we fell on it. Our hands were impatient. If I didn’t know any better, I would think she had every intention of devouring me with the way her mouth melded against mine. I pulled myself away from her kisses to find her neck, sucking a bruise in the skin and listening to her hum beneath me.

“Yoongi,” she murmured, spreading her thighs and hooking them over my hips as I targeted the weak spot over her racing pulse.

Clothes were pulled apart and discarded, strewn about the floor. She was thinner than before, it seemed, but there was far more strength in her muscles from months of braving an apocalypse.

To me, she was still the most beautiful creature I’d ever seen.

I fisted my hand behind her head, her long hair wrapped around my hand, and forced her head back as I covered her neck in kisses. She groaned and let her eyes fall to the ceiling, surrendering to my need to worship her after so long.

“Please, Yoongi,” she begged as I trailed my lips across her breasts.

“Please, what?” I growled, tonguing my way down her stomach.

She swallowed roughly and the next words barely made it out of her throat, “Take me.”

“I will,” was my reply, settling between her bare thighs and giving one a bite.

Mina reached down and grabbed my hair, yanking me back to her face with considerable strength. She draped an arm across my shoulders and kissed the corner of my mouth, panting for breath as her body flushed with heat.

“Take me, Yoongi,” she whispered, pressing wet, open-mouthed kisses to my jaw.

I didn’t have to be told again. My hands drifted to her thighs, bending them to my waist as I pressed the head of my cock to her folds. I could feel her soaked with arousal and she felt warmer than any fire I’d ever known.

I was about to be burned alive and for someone destined for hell, I couldn’t have been happier.

Propping my fists alongside her, I pushed slowly inside of her, easing ever so gently into her heat. Her body bowed off the bed, every part of her reacting to me in the best of ways. A choked off moan fell from her lips and she sighed my name.

I had to winch my eyes closed and bite my lip with a stifled groan to keep from losing my cool.

Mina cradled my face in her hands, bringing me back to her, and rasped, “Say it. Just admit it for once, Yoongi.”

I paused and swallowed the lump in my throat. After a tense few seconds, my voice lowered and I answered, “No.”

She blinked in surprise, frozen with nothing to say.

Swallowing back my emotions (of mostly self-loathing), I asked, “Do you want me to stop?”

Her eyes fixated on me and I could see the hope die in her eyes. After a pause, Mina told me, “No. Keep going. If this is all you’ll give me, then it’s all I will take from you.”

I braced my hands beside her and shifted between her legs. Drawing my hips back slowly, I snapped them forward, driving my length into her and listening to her mewl my name.

She threw her head back and pressed her fingertips into my flesh. My name was a chant as I kept a pace that made the bed groan at every turn. Feeling her nails sinking into my skin, I grabbed her wrists and pinned them beside her head, meeting her eyes and resisting the urge to lick every drop of sweat that gathered down her neck.

“Mina,” I panted, still thrusting steadily inside her. “You’re… the only one.”

She said nothing, but she didn’t have to. I had heard the little gasp of breath she took. I listened to the way her heart thundered with mine.

And I slowed down. I took my time with her. I spent the next few hours in bliss that made me question whether I was dreaming or actually living. I brought her to the edge and shoved her off of it, hitting my own high just by the way she howled my name and tightened around me each time.

Between rounds, we lay in silence, holding each other and dazedly humming at each other’s gentle caresses and even gentler kisses.

For a night, I was whole again.

But morning always comes.

The sun was up and to my surprise, birds were chirping just outside the window. I finished redressing and checked each bullet of each weapon I carried like I always did. Every other second, I glanced at the bed.

Mina was tangled in sheets, curled in fetal position with her hands held tightly to her chest. She looked so innocent, so beautiful. And I hated myself even more.

That she could love me. Someone as damned and evil as me.

Rising to my feet, I moved to the bed, sitting on the edge at her side and tucking some of her hair behind her ear. Pressing a chaste kiss to her temple, I whispered, “Mina, wake up.”

She hummed and shifted, slowly opening her eyes. “It’s morning?” she questioned.

“Yeah,” I replied quietly. “Wake up, baby.”

She nodded and eventually sat up.

I returned to my chair and said nothing as I watched her come to, giving me a bashful smile as she held the sheets to keep herself from being exposed. Despite all that had happened overnight.

After a few resistant minutes of fighting the urge to go back to sleep, Mina willed herself to get it together and fumbled around the room gathering her clothes. Once she was dressed, I stood.

“Mina?”

She turned to me, eyes optimistic.

“You should go back to Mark.”

Any shred of peace or happiness drained from her face in an instant. “Yoongi…” she started.

There couldn’t be an argument. I couldn’t let her convince me otherwise. “I mean it, Mina. I know you love him. I keep tearing you away.”

“Yoongi,” Mina shouted, marching to me and grabbing my collar. “Are you really saying this to me after last night?”

“Yes,” I answered after pushing her hand off me.

She recoiled. “After everything we said and did last night.”

“Especially after last night,” I sighed.

Mina shook her head vehemently. “I knew it. I fucking knew it all along. I was always just a victory to you. Something to win.”

I groaned, “Mina…”

Something broke in her and she cried out, “No, Yoongi. If you do this, I will never forgive you as long as I live.”

I kept calm, no matter how much my heart was shredding at the seams, as I said, “I can live with that. I can’t live with myself if I take away a better life for you.”

“You’re so full of shit, Yoongi,” Mina growled. “You expect me to believe that? Why can’t you just admit you don’t love me? You never loved me!”

And then I broke. Stomping toward her, I shouted at the top of my lungs, “I love you more than myself! I love you more than life. But it doesn’t count for anything! Don’t you get it, Mina? My love is nothing. It’s not worth anything.”

She shivered and her face tensed with approaching tears.

“I’m broken. I’m dead. I can’t give you what you deserve. I’m so fucked up. I would ruin you. I would break you to be just like me,” my voice strained with emotion. I had never let myself get this vulnerable before and I regretted it in an instant.

“I gave you everything, Yoongi,” Mina sobbed. “I gave you everything I had. I have nothing left.”

“I know. And I gave you nothing back. That’s all I am. I don’t have anything to give you,” I explained.

Mina shook her head, resistant to the end.

I asserted, “You want my heart. I don’t have one. You want my trust. I don’t have that either. The reality I live every day took those things from me. I thought I could change. I loved you enough. I tried so hard. But I’m hollow.”

She blinked through tears.

Somber, I continued softly, “You filled the void for me. You saved me. But I damage you. I can’t be selfish anymore. I can’t let you do that.”

She shifted her weight and said, “Maybe I’m broken too. Maybe we healed each other. But how could you over and over hurt me like this?”

“Because I don’t know any differently,” was my bullshit answer.

In a heartbeat, Mina turned from hurt to angry and snapped, “If that’s really what you think, you’re not the person I thought you were. You never have been. I’ve been lying to myself. But I think you’re lying to me. I think you’re manipulating me.”

I shrugged and lied, “I don’t care.”

That destroyed her.

“Don’t do this to me,” she cried, beating her fists on my chest. “Don’t make me hate you.”

I blinked and said nothing.

Devastated, Mina screamed, “Do you hear me – I hate you!”

There was a grave silence and when I finally found my resolve again, I murmured, “I’ll survive.”

Mina flinched like she had been shot and turned away from me, hiding her face in her hands and barreling out the door. She passed by Namjoon on the way, who was quick to say, “Look I covered for you guys, but don’t think the others don’t know what was going on.”

She ignored him and went on her way, sprinting to the stairs and not slowing down until she was outside. Bear bounded behind her, oblivious to Mina’s state.

“Hey, baby sis, we were just,” Hoseok started, but then he saw her face. “What the hell happened?”

Mina didn’t answer and ducked into an alley along the hotel, pressing her back to the wall and sobbing into her palms.

“Whoa, whoa,” Hoseok chanted, coming alongside her and trying to pry her hands from her face. “Mina, talk to me.”

She finally revealed her flushed cheeks and swollen eyes before saying, “I screwed up.”

“What happened?”

She paused, pensive, and sniffed harshly. Then, replied, “I slept with Yoongi.”

“Oh.”

Mina nodded and let herself slide until she sat on the ground, choking, “You know, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result.”

“More or less,” Hoseok quipped as he joined her on the street.

“He told me to go back to Mark.”

Hoseok sighed. “Is that what you want?”

“I don’t know anymore,” Mina groaned with a shake of her head. “Mark is…”

When she didn’t answer, Hoseok prompted, “Mina?”

“Mark is perfect. He really is. Yoongi and I - we’re damaged. In many ways, we are the same.”

Hoseok didn’t like that and he was quick to point out, “You’re not damaged, Mina. You’ve been through a lot, that’s all.”

“Why does this hurt so much? Why is it happening like this?” she cried, rubbing at her cheeks.

Hoseok calmly explained, “He’s doing to you what you’re doing to Mark. Pushing the love of your life away because you don’t feel worthy of them. Did you ever think of that?”

Mina choked on a sob and whimpered, “Yoongi told me he didn’t care. He said those words to me.”

Her brother gently dabbed at her tears with his sleeves and crooned, “When someone says they don’t care, it’s their last attempt at protecting themselves. He doesn’t want you to know how terrified he is of what you mean to him.”

Mina jumped up and paced, rasping, “I can’t do this again.”

Hoseok stood by her as always, following her every step. “Alright, calm down. Take a breath.”

“I can’t see,” Mina panicked.

Hoseok reached for her and enveloped her in his arms, stroking her back tenderly. He coaxed, “Because you’re crying your eyes out. It’s gonna be okay. I promise.”

Mina held him tightly, hands shaking. She blinked rapidly, clearing her vision, waiting for the heat and the clarity to return to her.

A deadly silence wrapped around her. Her ears pounded and her sight pulsated. Something distant reached her senses. It was coming closer and closer with every passing second.

“Someone’s here,” she whispered.

We had been preparing to leave, loading up the cars. Little did we know our signal was jammed. Someone was breaking the frequency. The hackers were desperately trying to warn us, but their calls weren’t getting through.

Mina noticed a presence in the distant building two seconds before the first shot fired.

The bullet pierced Jinyoung’s shoulder and he dropped to the ground out of sheer instinct. The rest of us froze in surprise before the hail of shots began.

“Hoseok,” Mina screamed, grabbing his arms desperately.

Her brother shoved her against the wall, into the small crevice the alley offered. Their eyes were on us as we gathered on the small street, dodging bullets as a pair of ATV’s roared in.

The sniper fired again, this time having less luck as we finally regained enough of our senses to scatter and fight back.

“Mina, for the love of god, hide here until it’s over. I swear,” Hoseok warned, pinching her elbows in his grasp as he waited for her to agree.

Mina nodded her assent. Hoseok kissed her forehead before racing to join us.

Bear barked his head off, gathering at Mina’s feet and snarling his threats to any who would come near. Mina panted, eyes searching for each of us with her faded heat sensing.

The sniper continued to pin us down, firing from his lofty perch in the building at the end of the road. The ATV’s circled back, firing their machine guns into whatever we had managed to hide behind. I used a dumpster as cover, propping my rifle on the edge and shooting at the sniper.

Mark dragged Jinyoung to safety, pressing his hands to the wound to stop the bleeding.

“It’s just your shoulder. You’re fine,” Mark assured him, gun held in his free hand to ward off any problems.

Mina crept to the edge of the wall, peering out to get a view of the nearby building, where presumably the sniper was lying in a vantage. Mina turned, seeing the force of bullets raining down on her brothers, and she had enough.

She murmured an apology to her brother that he could not hear, before leaving the alley behind.

Mina sprinted down the bare street. Bear galloped behind her, tail wagging with excitement. The infected girl reached the building, seeing the shape of someone firing the rifle nearly a dozen floors up. She headed for the stairs and began the climb.

I fired again, turning my attention to the ATVs. Namjoon scampered to a nearby car, using it for cover as the duo of vehicles circled back. He pulled the pin on a grenade and tossed it.

The first car exploded, bursting into the flames, and the next promptly collided into it.

Namjoon, Jimin, and I fired until our guns clicked for a reload into the second vehicle. Hoseok sidestepped around our truck, firing at one soldier still moving.

“Hoseok,” I screamed, seeing his position.

The sniped fired. The first bullet struck Hoseok in the chest.

For a moment, my brother wavered on his feet, glancing down to see the wound. The second bullet to his heart sent him to the ground.

Mina burst through the door, sprinting with all of her might and colliding with the sniper, rolling across the ground as she wrapped her arms and legs around him. He managed to draw a knife from his thigh, raking it in her direction.

Bear didn’t appreciate that and leapt atop the man as Mina lay wedged beneath him, with the intent of chewing out the sniper’s eyes for daring to hurt his alpha.

Meanwhile, Mina brought her jaws to the man’s neck and bit into his flesh, tearing herself away before his blood could fill her mouth. She watched him contort in agony, screaming and garbling through foreign words. Then, he stilled.

Mina dismantled the gun, leaving it in shards, and didn’t blink at the crimson staining her fingers.

My hands were covered in blood as I pressed them to Hoseok’s chest.

“Hoseok, you can’t fucking die. Do you hear me?” I screamed at him, holding his face as he coughed through his last few breaths.

He squinted up at me, nearly blinded as he drifted near the end. “Tell her,” he managed to wheeze, blood rolling down from the corner of his mouth.

“I will.”

“Tell her…”

“Hoseok, you have to hold on,” I urged. “You have to let her say goodbye. You have to stay a little longer. Don’t do that to her. She’ll die without you. You are her everything.”

He smiled. At peace. In his last moment, I had reminded him how much Mina loved him. And that was enough.

Then he was gone.

Less than a minute had passed when I heard her steps behind me. She had been running, sprinting, clawing her way to him. My hands were shaking. I couldn’t bring myself to look at her.

“Hobi?” she whimpered, dropping to her knees at my side. She reached out, hands on his chest, searching for a sign of life. She patted his face, like she was trying to wake him.

Tears clouded my vision.

“Fucking do something,” she shouted, bracing her fists on his sternum and beginning to press. She was trying to pump his heart back to life.

“He’s gone, Mina,” I murmured.

“No,” she snapped, shoving at his chest roughly.

It dawned on her. He wasn’t waking up. He wouldn’t breathe anymore. That steady heartbeat would never resound in her ears again as long as she lived.

She screamed. She cried. She begged to whatever gods could hear her.

Dropping to the ground, she tucked herself in the space between his outstretched arm and his side, resting her head on his chest. She tightened into fetal position, shaking uncontrollably as she drowned in physical pain from emotional grief.

Staggering to her feet, she walked away, raking her hands through her hair. She shook her head, murmuring, “No,” over and over in a low-spoken chant. Tears gathered in her eyes and streamed down her face.

“God damn it,” she screamed to the winds.

Mina dropped to her knees, hands on her waist as she struggled to breathe, hyperventilating, suffocating.

Namjoon was the only one brave enough to approach her.

I learned that day what a difference there was between crying and sobbing. Mina was sobbing. She couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t think. She was gasping for air and screaming and shouting. There weren’t words to describe the heartbreak she felt. I was amazed she lasted as long as she did. I thought at any moment she would collapse.

Eventually she did. Namjoon lowered to his knees, keeping her cradled to his chest. After another minute, she went limp against him and he gathered her in his grasp like she was weightless.

I glanced down at Hoseok’s pale face and let the tears flow freely as I whispered, “I’m sorry, brother. I’m so sorry.”

Story Page: Underworld

[arrogvnces]

     it wasn’t always easy, being them. or rather, it wasn’t easy being them within the other’s space. when mina and sinclair first met, she couldn’t stand the sight of him. he, on the other hand, was thoroughly amused at how explicit she was in her disgust and hatred for him. there was no one in their grade that didn’t know every one of her thoughts on the spoiled, capitalist, overrated brat that sat behind her in math class. and if said brat happened to get a higher grade than hers, and not so subtly bragged about it to hear what new curse word she could come up with, well. . . that was just one of the many days at st. emilia’s. one can imagine what a delightful surprise it was for the tired faculty, when one afternoon of studying in an empty classroom ended in a kiss sinclair hasn’t managed to wipe from his memory. 

     everything leading up to that moment was fuzy, except for when the frown she often wore in his presence was replaced by a dark and foreign gaze, his body trapping her against the wall. he hadn’t meant to get so close, but her familiar tirade about how his life was much easier than hers, when the phonecall from his father still burned in his pocket with words of yale and engagement and you have a year, set him on edge. he’d felt like being careless. when his lips had crashed on hers, he’d waited for the push. maybe a slap, or a scream. but then her soft delicate mouth had moved against his, and hatred turned to something else entirely. he doesn’t recall how the rest of it went, but when he’d come to it, mrs. hawtridge stared at them beet red before marching off to the headmaster’s office. him and his messy hair, tie lying on the ground and chest exposed. mina and her skirt hiked up, buttons undone and face flushed. they got a deserved two weeks of punishment, though nothing could wipe off the grin on both their faces. in retrospective, sinclair knows it would’ve never lasted as much as they wanted it to, arranged marriage or not. but back then, all he saw was her. all he wanted to see was her, the only good thing in his miserable life. 

     what came after was a time that can only be described as the first time sinclair park felt happiness. it was in the afternoons spent studying for their college entrance exams, the eager make-out sessions in utility closets that always went too far, helping her sneak out of her host family’s house to drive around in the dark, trying to keep their distance but failing as if nothing made sense when the other wasn’t around. 

     he remembers the first time she was privy to a discussion with his father, the man raising his voice about sinclair’s choice of major. when he’d hung up, spent from listening to the verbal abuse, she’d stood up and promptly kicked a chair. “who does he think he is to talk to you like that?” she’d practically spit venom, cheeks red and canines showing. it was a comical, and freeing all at once. while she raged, he watched in contemplative silence. he’d forgotten what it was like to see someone be angry at his father. his mother had grown apathetic years ago, and everyone else was too scared. but here was an eighteen-year old girl who couldn’t even begin to imagine the power leonard park held, calling him the world’s biggest cunt. sinclair had laughed uncontrollably, stopping her in her tracks, when the laughter turned to quiet sobs. it was the most honest moment they’d ever had, and the one he hated the most. that day, something changed between them. the teenage carelessness, the casualty of their intense relationship --- it was gone, replaced with a truth he was hoping to keep from her forever. the truth that sinclair was not a spoiled brat with the world at his fingers, but a bird in a cage he’d given up trying to escape. 

     piece by piece, she put him back together, without covering the cracks or painting over the mold. in return, he dragged her out of the world inside her head, of the anger and hatred she harbored towards anything that went against her. for a moment in time, shortly after their arrival at oxford, he believed he could open the cage. she made him believe as much. 

“you don’t owe your father anything, sinclair,” she would repeat, laying next to him. “if you’re scared about the money---”

     “i’m not,” he’d assure her, having built enough plans in case he’d stepped too far out of line. he knew, without a doubt, that he could live without leonard’s money. “i’m going to fix this.” at the time, she hadn’t know what he needed to fix. but the weight of the finality of his engagement kept dragging him down, until it exploded the first time he met henrietta huang. 

     she isn’t anything special, is what he first thought. if anything, the more he looked at henrietta, the more he missed mina. how many times during that dinner did he have to stop himself from getting up and catching the first flight back?  how many days after it did he live with that secret knocking on his chest, making mina stare at him, as if she’d already guessed what was happening?

     “so, are you cheating on me?” she’d asked casually, sitting on his bed while he stared at his fingers in contemplation. the question drew out a long sigh from his lips, legs carrying him to the space next to her.

     “of course not,” he’d replied, hesitantly taking her smaller hand in between his two.

     “then what’s wrong?”

     he’d entertwined their fingers together, making a mental capture of the moment that they could never return to. “what i’m about to tell you might sound crazy, outdated and perhaps a little illegal, but it’s a truth about my life you deserve to know.” he’d stared into those deep dark eyes, already brimming with unshed tears, always too smart for their own good. “you know my family’s company?”

     he remembers when realization hit her, a startled laugh resonating in the air, hand withdrawing from his touch as if it was contaminated. they’d argued about his omission for what felt like the entire night. he had no excuses, nothing that could make the tears stop falling. 

     “that’s fucking great sinclair, pretending like we had a plan when you knew deep down it was never going to come true,” she said, still full of energy while he felt his dwindling down by the second. 

     “i did believe in those plans, i was trying to figure out a way to make my dad give up but he doesn’t give up, okay? even if he knows it’s gonna’ end in deep shit he’s too proud to back out.” he’d sighed while she cried, both in their own corners of the dorm room. he’d expected her to get up and leave, but instead, she’d wiped away the tears and sat once again by his side.

     “do you like this girl?” was her first question.

     “i’ve met her once, mina,” he’d answered, unable to even conjure anything about henrietta that was memorable. 

     “she’s going to be your future wife,” she’d declared, a last nail in the coffin of sinclair park. he didn’t respond because there was no use. she likely would. “does that mean we’re over?” 

     “i don’t want us to be. i don’t think we should be. i know it’s selfish to ask you this but, i don’t have to go back yet. i still have some time left to live the life i want.” he’d kissed her then, passionately, and she’d kissed back with just as much strength. it felt like their first kiss, maybe because they knew it would be the first of the lasts. he’d draw back long enough to whisper the truth of his heart. “i love you.” and she’d kissed him with all she had, as if the world would end the moment they stopped. that night, it was skin against skin, breaths mixing together, fingers and mouths in places that made them lose all sanity, that made him silence the noises slipping past her lips with his own. it was messy, passionate and melancholic all at once. it wasn’t the last time, but if it had to be, what a way to go out. 

------

     standing where he stands, knowing what he knows, sinclair wouldn’t trade the time he shared with mina for anything. it was a time of growth, of first love, of understanding their places in this world. he could’ve never kept up with her --- she was meant for much more than he ever was, and she would get there someday, he had no doubt about it. there was no more resentment towards her for breaking up with him before their time, for confusing him with the calls after he got to new haven. no resentment as his phone lights up with her name, though there is a small jolt of surprise. mina kang. no picture. 

     “hello?”

     “sinclair, hey,” her voice feels foreign, although entirely the same. has it been five months since they last spoke? “am i interrupting you?”

     he looks back towards where henri, charlotte and jinhao happily chat away on the rooftop restaurant. henri catches his gaze and waves, an eyebrow raised. he shakes his head, turning back towards the view. he’ll tell her later. “no, is something wrong?”

     “not at all, i know it’s been some time since we’ve talked, but i’m calling as a courtesy.” 

     he frowns a little, but keeps it off his voice. “for what?” 

     “i don’t want you to see me walking around your campus and think i’m stalking you,” there’s a lighter gait to her voice, almost as if she’s grinning on the other side. 

     “what do you mean, walking around campus?” he turns once more, henri rising from her seat as charlotte looks at him quizzically. “are you visiting?” 

     “wow, you’ve gotten slow. i mean, i’m going to be a student at yale, i got the scholarship to transfer !” nothing is wrong per se, and yet he feels a rock dropping at the bottom of his stomach, his girlfriend approaching, a half-smile on scarlet lips. 

     “. . . congratulations, you deserve it,” he means every word, and yet he knows the way they come out of him, almost as if forced. why does he feel so wrong?

     “jeez, i’m going to excuse your last of enthusiasm on the chinese standard time.” she giggles, and he wonders how do you know where i am, before remembering they still follow each other on instagram. 

     “i guess, i’ll see you around then,” he tries to keep his tone neutral, suddenly hit with memories he wasn’t willing to remember about mina. how it was always her way or the highway, how he couldn’t talk to any girl without sparking an explosion of jealousy, how she seemed almost angry when he granted her wish to break things off. 

     “i’ll hold you to it, i need someone to show me around,” she replies on the other side, and he’s about to hang up on one of the weirdest calls of his life, when she calls back. “oh, and sinclair?” 

     “what?” he says, letting henri takes his hand as she mouths ‘who is it?’ 

     “tell henrietta i said hi,” and the line goes dead.