#bring on the suffering

[sneezingfetishftw-fics]

Insufferable (4/7)

Previous chapters: 1 2 3

Next chapters: 5 6 7

Wavs: 1 3

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Velvette tried to stave off the panic by focusing on Vox’s work responsibilities, her fingers typing at the speed of light. Unfortunately, her anxious thoughts were moving just as fast. Had she made a mistake by giving him a fever reducer? What if she’d fried his system and now he was shut down? How long would it last? How could they fix this? Would any medicine work on Vox? Could the antivirus be re-enabled, or was this the end? Should they get a new screen for Vox, would that fix it?

“Velvette, darling,” Val said, “you look like you’re about to give yourself an aneurysm. Slow down!”

“This is all your fault in the first place, you bastard! If you hadn’t been such a selfish, dimwitted, arrogant… GAH!”

“I already said I’m sorry. I can’t change the past.” He withered a little under Velvette’s icy glare. “Look, I bet we can find a new compilation of people embarrassing themselves on social media! Do you want to watch together? I can make some popcorn!” he said with a smile.

“But the TV is broken!”

“Yeah, but Vox’s laptop isn’t.”

Velvette hesitated for a moment, but then nodded. She could use a break after all this.

They watched for a little while until Velvette realized she did still have in person work (you know, the work she had before this whole mess) to attend to. She put the laptop back in the cage. “Don’t break anything while I’m gone. And try not to let Vox break anything either!” Valentino just waved.

***************

Shortly after Velvette had returned, Vox stumbled into the living room again. His screen was so dark Velvette could barely make out his facial features, which meant Val was probably seeing even less. Velvette quickly shoved the laptop and her phone back into the Faraday cage. “Morning Velvette, Val,” he said weakly but enthusiastically.

“It’s 6 o’clock,” Valentino said with a frown.

“WHAT?” he asked, his voice distorting in anger as his claws dug into the table and Velvette and Val shared a look of uneasy Déjà vu. “You mean I missed my interview by 9 hours, 9 FUCKING HOURS, and NOBODY WOKE ME UP??”

“Right, that’s it,” Velvette said, marching up to him. “We’re doing an antivirus scan.”

“What are you talking about? And what about my interview?”

Velvette sighed. “I did the interview in your place, because you’re sick. You have a virus, which is why we need to run the antivirus. And you would know this is the third time I’m telling you, if it weren’t for you’re fucking shit-arse corrupted memory banks!”

“Oh.” Vox’s fans were deafeningly loud in the silence that followed. The Vees began to wonder if Vox had lost his voice again, when finally the silence broke. “Hhhh’TTTZZZZZZCHH! Hhh’hhhh’hhh’hhZZZZZZSSH! Heht’dzzzzzsch! HhhhrrrggggZZZZZCHT! Fucking hell!”

Velvette handed him a handkerchief she’d procured during his latest nap. He stared at it awkwardly. “Velvette, I don’t have a nose. What exactly do you expect me to do with this?”

“It’s to cover… oh, never mind,” she said, taking it back. With Vox’s memory failing, now wasn’t exactly the best time to be trying to teach him new things.

“The antivirus?” Val asked, trying to get the conversation back on track.

“Right,” Velvette nodded, staring at Val in a way that clearly said “I’m not snitching on you yet but don’t count on me not to tell on you later.” She turned back to Vox. “Do you know how we would go about running the antivirus scan?” Vox tried to speak but once again sound was failing him. “Perfect. Just what we needed.”

Thankfully, Vox seemed to be capable of pulling up the interface on his screen without needing to talk, though he did have to restart the process a few times when his screen glitched out from coughing fits. Finally, the scan had begun.

It didn’t get far, though, before Vox’s screen started flickering and his breath started hitching. “No no no no no no no no!!!” Velvette protested. “Not now, please Vox! Just wait a little longer.”

“What’s the big deal?” Valentino asked. “I didn’t know you were into edging,” he said with a smirk.

“Ew, no! If you’d been paying any attention, you’d know what I’m talking about. If coughing restarts a process, I reckon sneezing will do the same. If we can’t keep him from sneezing we’ll never get this scan done.” Valentino placed a finger over the center of Vox’s screen. Velvette stared at him blankly. “What are you… he doesn’t even have a nose! Do you really expect that to work?”

Val shrugged. “I don’t see you coming up with a better idea.”

Velvette frowned, having no rebuttal to that. But against all logic, it seemed to be working. The screen flickers got more spaced out and less intense. Val’s finger was covering up most of the progress bar, but eventually the task was completed. “Okay, you can put that finger away now, Val,” Velvette said.

It was as if a dam had opened. Velvette barely had a chance to see the “virus detected” (yeah, obviously!) message before the screen flickered violently and Vox unleashed a torrent of sneezes unlike anything any of them had witnessed before. “Hhhh’tzzzzsh! Zzzzzcht! Hhhh’dzzzt! Heh’tZZZZZZZCHT! Hah’TTTZZZZZZZZZSHT! HAAAAAH’ZZZZZZZZZZST! Hhhhhhh’ZZZZSHT! ZZZZZSH! ZZZZZZZST! D’ZZZZCHHHZT!” It continued on in this manner for at least ten minutes with barely any time to breathe. Velvette noticed out of the corner of her eye that Valentino appeared to have been trying to count the sneezes, but he seemed to have given up fairly quickly. Eventually, Vox regained his breath. “Fuck my life. I never want to do that again.” Val made a mental note that he now had a powerful tool in his arsenal should he ever need to threaten Vox.

Velvette was focused on the screen which had now returned to the antivirus scan results. “Well, the good news is, it found the virus.”

“I know that face,” Vox said, still sniffling. “How screwed am I?”

“Well - it’s got an estimated time of how long the fix will take.”

“And?” he asked impatiently. Then he coughed so loud he couldn’t hear a thing. “Sorry, what was that?”

“48 hours to 2 weeks.”

Vox gave his head a light slap and a shake. “Ugh, sensors really must be busted on this thing. Because I cannot possibly have heard you right.”

“No, you got it. It’s 48 hours to 2 weeks.”

Vox’s face fell. “How the fuck am I supposed to deal with this for that long?” He started crying and Velvette once again passed him the handkerchief, although this time he seemed to know what to do with it, at least for the eyes anyway.

“Bit of a wide range, isn’t it?” Val asked.

Velvette shrugged. “Probably to account for whether or not the virus, uh… fights back.” All three of them grimaced. That was not a fun possibility to consider.

Vox sighed. “Please just put me out of my misery.” Val nodded solemnly and walked over to his gun collection. “Wait, no, not that! I’m not that desperate yet.”

Val stepped away from the guns. “Ok. But if you change your mind, I’ll be there.”

Vox groaned. “Just start the scan, Velvette. Before I facepalm so hard I break my screen.”

Velvette tapped the start button, and a pop-up appeared. “Warning, some systems may be temporarily offline while resources are devoted to the antiviral treatment.” Velvette looked to Vox for approval, who shrugged.

“Not like I have a choice. Besides, how much worse could it get?” She tapped the button and Vox, for the third time in the past eight hours, collapsed.

[batcavescolony]

Katniss is such an unreliable narrator. She says "Then something unexpected happens. At least, I don't expect it because I don't think of District 12 as a place that cares about me" girl you deliver strawberries to the Mayor, you hunt and trade for the district, when you fell at Prim being chosen someone caught you, when you went to Prim people parted for you, when you volunteered EVERYONE stopped. Idk how to tell you but I think you're a pillar of the community.

[chloesimaginationthings]

Vanessa suffered more than Michael in FNAF

[uluthrek]

imagine being fully willing to TURN YOURSELF IN to protect your wife from being arrested for MURDERING A DUDE with whom she also had an AFFAIR and who she STABBED TO DEATH because she suspected him of doing the EXTORTION YOU DID TO HER FRIENDS to keep your FAILING FURNITURE STORE from going INSOLVENT because you need to provide for your GAY WIFE still pining over YOUR EX GIRLFRIEND who is now DEAD because gay wife ATE HER and your DAUGHTER WHO HATES YOU and looks nothing like you and instead like GAY WIFE’S CANNIBALIZED SAPPHIC SITUATIONSHIP but your wife doesn’t EVEN APPRECIATE THE FUCKING GESTURE because she thinks that you were CHEATING THE WHOLE TIME even though you are the ULTIMATE SELF DIAGNOSED MALEWIFE and OBSESSED WITH YOUR GAY WIFE and would never cheat and despite all that you are being OUT WIFE GUY’D by TAISSA FUCKING TURNER who RITUALLY SACRIFICED her son’s DOG in her BASEMENT and is CHEATING ON HER WIFE and somehow still a BETTER WIFE GUY THAN YOU. your name is JEFF SADECKI and your hairline is RECEDING.

[sausage-rolll]

The quiet tragedy of shadow of the erdtree is playing through the DLC, encountering cross after cross along your journey and slowly coming to the haunting realisation that Miquella, the person you’ve been tailing throughout the entirety of the DLC, the creator of the Haligtree and protector of its denizens, the most fearsome and kind demigod of them all… Is long dead.

He’s not at the divine gates seeking godhood. Not really. The person known as Miquella is buried at the base of each and every cross in the land. Survived only by a few select ailing entities. St. Trina, slowly wilting at the bottom of the world, The Scadutree avatar who inherited his greatrune, and Miquella the Kind at the very peak of Enir-Ilim.

He not only abandoned his flesh, but went so far as to fracture his very soul. His doubts, his fear, his love. All abandoned in an attempt to fashion a perfect god. To right the wrongs of his mother and people and finally bring the world peace.

His flesh, his power, his birthright, his fate, his fear, his doubts, his love… after leaving all that behind, how much of what’s left is actually Miquella?

Miquella may have hurt many people in his quest for godhood, but he himself was never spared from that very same pain. He may have stripped Radahn and Mohg of their dignity and sense of self to fashion into the perfect consort, but he was just as willing to do the same to himself to fashion into the perfect god.

[nenayaquisieras]

Simon has always been confused on why you gift him toys. Sure, most of the gifts you gave him were some of the things he liked. Bourbon, masks, gloves, make up for him to smudge his eyes with, some daggers and knives. Things that we're useful for him, just him. But later, you gifted him a toy airplane. He makes a comment about it, saying he is not a child anymore and you were better off giving it to Johnny instead.

"No, this is specifically for you, take it."

When he gets to him room, he walks toward his trash can, opening it with the tip of his boot. He gives one more look at the toy, his mood souring before throwing it into the trash. He goes on about his day, training, signing paper work, drills. Doing anything to ignore the pain stinging memories that the toy brought back. Emotions that were buried thousands of feet deep it could reach hell itself. Later, he lies awake in bed, staring at the ceiling, avoiding looking at the cylinder shape that's calling for him in his peripheral.

Fuck.

He pulls the covers off vigorously and stomps over to the trash can. He is standing over it like he's trying to intimidate it, as if it was an enemy he's trying to get rid of in battle. To anyone else, the scene would look comical.

He sighs to himself and reaches down to take out the toy he so cruelly threw away. He sets it on his desk and quickly walks toward his bed, facing away from his desk.

The next day, he wakes up feeling different. He swears he sees his room more vibrant, more lively. That energy follows him through out the day, having his other teammates notice his rather bright mood.

You catch him in the hallway. Pulling him aside to ask him about the paper work you left at his desk this morning. Of course, he notices the way you smile brightly, more so than usual. But he notices that you're not looking at him. More like looking at something next to him.

"What's got you so cheery?"

You turn to look up at him, feeling a bit embarrassed.

"I just..." You take a quick glance at the spot next to him, before bringing your eyes back upon his.

"I just hope you liked your gift." The same bright smile appearing on your face.

He stares at you, examining your words. Your expression.

You think you see his eyes crinkle a bit.

"Yea,"

"I liked it."

[gatoburr0]

woe. emo people be upon ye

[mgu-h]

LandoLOG 033: How I prepare for an F1 season

[vriskan8or]

let her go

[kimtaegis]

Destination: your heart Estimated Time of Arrival: whenever you need him ➤ for @jung-koook ♡

[sharksfrommars]

Have an idea for a fic that I’m definitely not going to write.

essentially, ford hits a roadblock in his research, but doesn’t summon Bill. He’s just burned out from all that gifted kid syndrome, trying to power through it. His mother recommended he take a break, and the perfect opportunity for that arrived when Fiddleford calls, asking Ford to be his Best Man, and inviting him to his bachelor party.

in Vegas.

so Ford reluctantly goes with Fiddleford and two of his other friends to the city of sin, and Ford completely DESTROYS the casinos. He’s counting cards, he’s worked out the algorithm for when the slot machines hit a jackpot, and he gets SUPER drunk. Ford is having the time of his life cus he gets to use maths to flex on people. And he’s NOT SUBTLE.

so at the end of the night, the casino take Ford out back, and send a goon to beat him up.

and you’ll never guess who the goon is!

so now Stan and Ford have to work together and try to escape the gangs and crime lords that run 1970s Las Vegas.

I call it Gifted Kid Syndrome.

again, not doing anything with it, feel free to do anything with the idea, up to and including wiping your butt with it. Just like, tag me or whatever.

[happypeachsludgeflower]

Why do I feel like if Yue Qingyuan were to die pre canon, Shen Jiu would have gone Luo Binghe level feral, kidnapped his corpse, and found some way to bring him back even if he came back wrong because ain’t no wait Shen Jiu’s letting that man escape him. They are codependent divorced toxic yaoi and there is no escaping. It was in the contract and if Yue Qi didn’t want to be defiled, he shouldn’t have signed it 😤

[yo-yo-yoshiko]

Hey gang... I know where we could go!

[joltrify]

8th year of Heatblast!!!!!!!! //

This year's came out alright! I hope to push the perspective and posing for next year :]

These are starting to get a little long to compile in one post, so you can check out last year's rendition here, lol.

some pre-redraw pyronite scribbles (eyestrain warning for the last one):

[saturn-sends-hugs]

kinda love that matt can never hold onto a love interest so half of the time all the typical traumatic superhero’s girlfriend stuff™️ just ends up happening to foggy lol

[sweetmapple]

Patron saint of “put that guy in situations”