#british gorgug

[flamingfoxninja]

In the world of British Spyre, we cut to the Hudol's School of Explorers Extraordinaire! A place where young students learn the ways of globetrotting shenanigans in search of love, war, and treasure seeking.

We cut to Kristen Applebees, an aggressive party girl who is ready to thrash and snog with the best of them. More specifically she's snogging her boyfriend

Fabian Aramais Seacaster, a quiet gentle poet who read the grand tales of adventures that his family legacy provides, especially of his Mother, Admiral of the Fallinel Navy. His shyness eventually broken by joining the Hudol Football League, along with his friend

Gorgug Thistlespring, the resident bad boy on campus. Growing up adopted in a lowerclass family, he is consistantly angry when anyone gives him shit about it. Which results in many fights and detentions on school grounds, not like he cares. But he's not the only fish out of water cause he's friends with

Adaine Abernant, an American transfer student. Her parents are Ambassadors who are trying to make a good impression, so Adaine is working on learning the slang and behaviors of her peers. Where she comes off as a bit brash and ignorant. But she's more than ready to learn, especially from

Riz Gukgak, the inquisitive mind of Hudol's greatest academic student. His dad a gentlemanly spy, his mother a police Sargent. He was taught from a young age a love of investigation, forensics, law, and learning. There's no such thing as useless information, only information not yet applied. But his talent in academia is only rivaled by

Figeroth Faeth, extra curricular extraordinaire. She can only even accept perfection in everything she does. Theater, Art, Classical Music, Martial Arts. Nothing is out of her reach to master. And nothing, not even her parent's divorce, her crumbling life, will keep her from her craft. Though she can at times learn how to let loose, go wild, and take a break from resident party girl Kristen Applebees

And these are our Hudol Hunters! Say Hi Hudol Hunters!

[minionsunclee]

Blarmy!

[feelingtheaster99]

I cannot BREATHE at the Wanda Childa’s fake death performance. Everything about it was so fucking funny and peak intrepid heroes of them

[salemfrogtrials]

arguably the best moment in d20 fantasy high

(spoilers for the fantasy high junior year finale)

[becausesure]

I don't know if people know how actually frail K2 actually was

Because we don't actually know Kristen's HP I will use the average which is 101 (8+(13*5)+(2+14)) which is a reasonably high Hp

K2 however has half of that HP being either 50 or 51 which isn't great but there isn't a why to heal/res her because she becomes snow when she reaches 0 HP not failing death throws

Now if we combine this with -3 dex (dex being the most common save in DND 5e) she will most likely be taking full damage from all spells so she would most likely be taken down to 0 by two or three spells attacks if she was lucky

To put in perspective Adaine's average HP is 88

[amorhedera6]

the bad kids as pixie hollow fairies

psa: i’ve only seen the movies and i haven’t read the books, so if you’re a book person pls bear with me.

gorgug thistlespring - tinker fairy

tinker fairies are known for ingenuity and creation. they make all kinds of tools and contraptions to help their friends lives easier. they mend things, create things, and their signature color is green. it just makes sense.

kristen applebees - light fairy

also fairly obvious. with kristen’s connection to the sun through her family and the moon through tracker, this one was bound to be. light fairies can bend sun or moonlight, keep pixie hollow aglow, and are known to make rainbows. the mechanics of species don’t exactly line up, but i could see a young kristen being a sunlight fairy, devoted to keeping the sun filtering in the direction it was meant to and keeping everything a light. a growing kristen would work instead with the moonlight, training fireflies, and keeping a lantern of moonlight that keeps darkness from being threatening.

fabian seacaster - water fairy

he lives in a boat, people. what else was there? water fairies and manipulate water, shape it, control it, and also are often found seeking boats in the waters. they can create fountains and communicate with water-animals, often assisting fish and tadpoles in learning how to swim. imagine the hangman as a fish. come on.

fig faeth - animal fairy

animal fairies are known to interact with and feel the emotions of any animals in pixie hollow. they are also known to be the most emotional fairy type, as they are feeling others emotions. they help animals reach the mainland and are skilled trackers. fig’s constantly summoning animals (sexy rat, the daymare), comparing herself with animals (the “german shepherd” mode), connecting with animals (giving a dog a bardic at the black pit, the pet oyster that she supposedly carried around for weeks in freshman year) or pretending to be an animal (orangutan at loam farm), and i think that the mask gorgug gifts her for moonar yulenear is an extension of that. fig’s very very caring for all her friends, and i think that would easily extend over to animals.

riz gukgak - fast flying fairy

fast flying fairies have control over winds, can create breezes, go up to triple the speed of a normal fairy. they also carry bigger wings, which might, in turn, make them look smaller. such speed would be incredibly helpful for stealth, when trying to get away from someplace and hide quickly. i think riz would fit will here as someone who’s constantly running around searching clues, not sleeping, doing the most that he can. he needs extra speed to keep up.

adaine abernant - frost fairy

i think adaine being a winter fairy makes a lot of sense, with her family being ambassadors from fallinel. maybe the winter fairies are just british. a forst fairy can create frost from their fingertips, or if they are particularly skilled they can conjure it from anywhere. they can freeze plant life, make icicles, and need to keep cold in order to live. with adaine pulling a wand of frost out of her jacket in freshman year, her personal connection to basrar’s ice cream shop, and her most prominent color being blue (the school uniform of hudol, her denim jacket, her eyes, her sword, her character art even has her magic depicted as blue), i think she makes a perfect frost fairy.

i have no idea what kind of story this would make, but i love it. like a small flock of fairies accidentally getting lost, leaving pixie hollow, and having to find their way back from neverland while accidentally fighting a dragon? idk i just love them thanks

[ominous-horse-noises]

final finale thoughts!!

things i loved about the finale

QUEER GODDESS PATHEON YEAAAAAAH!!! i thought it was such a good way to find a happy medium between kristen committing to a worldview that felt authentic and nuanced without being catholic™ about it

everything to do with the scene of Ankarna trying to offer retribution to each of the bad kids, and each of them making peace with past wrongs instead of continuing to stew in it. i love growth!!!

FIG AND KRISTEN MIRRORING ANKARNA AND CASSANDRA

everything to do with mazey and fabian. of all the fantasy high couples aside from fidayda, these two feel the most like they make sense together- they have similar interests, they have similar values, fabian had a crush on her even when she was being 'uncool' (eg. twister) and how mazey actually picked up on that and appreciated the way he used his perceived coolness to extend it to others who might be picked on otherwise. this is the couple i most hope go the distance even post aguefort adventuring academy (again, aside from figayda ofc but i literally cannot imagine those girls breaking up over anything)

fabian's fetus sibling outnemesising him despite fabian building an animosity towards them the whole season before they were even conceived. peak fantasy high insanity

controversial but i thought the maryann/gorgug being introduced and canonised in all of 15 minutes was hilarious. it was very teen of them in a way that felt authentic. my ideal scenario for them is an end of year fling that becomes amicable exes bc they truly have nothing in common beyond thinking the other is hot (real of them) but i dont have a strong opinion on whether they should break up or not

also maybe controversial but i like that kalina is straight up bloodthirsty. she felt like an equal opposite to bakur- rather than being a devoted servant who became corrupted by proxy, she was trying to corrupt her deity into a form she preferred. thematically it extends to the complementary opposites thing ankarna and cassandra have going on (though i get it might be a reach).

"... thats a four. you know what it's for we don't have to talk about it"

squeem

riz coming in clutch with the character arc right at the last moment. i joked ab his neuroticism being part of his natural swag, but im glad murph not only made sure riz FINALLY addressed the way he was burning himself out, but also that by extension, he was burning out both fig and kristen bc riz has a very calculated idea of 'success' and while he had the best intentions, those two dont fit neatly into it

THE HOLD PERSON OVER THE LAVA??? RIZ'S 'very good on paper, but no practical application."??? i screamed

a second blimey-related divine intervention roll by K2 leading her to getting pinnochioed into a real straight british girl, in real non-dnd britain, is the best thing thats ever happened in fantasy high. a simulacrum was so powerful brennan had to do the dnd equivalent of sending her to a barn upstate.

adaine and aelwyn talking about killing their mother over icecream can be something that is so personal...

siobhan's incredible play with the earworm??? phenomenal, i gasped out loud

fig maybe moving into fabian's house even after she drops out so fabian won't be alone again... what if i threw up blood actually

i liked kipperlilly copperkettle being confirmed to be rotten to the core. 'the ritual looks very different when one accepts rage willingly' GOOD!!! i like evil ambitious teenage girls who try to burn the world down to get what they want. i get why they didnt bring her back, that detail definitely cemented her as in the zayne/penelope category of 'past villains who could possibly be redeemed'

FIG AND AYDA MY LOVES!!! sorry but not even the lesbian goddesses are doing it like these two. brennan put his whole pussy into creating ayda aguefort and my life has been changed forever

zac once again dming K2's alternate universe campaign

things i hated

ik it was payoff to the running bit and it made me cackle when it was revealed, but the implications of hallariel and gilear having a baby are so bad to me. fig talks up gilear a lot, and sure, he came around to being a good dad to her, but gilear has objectively been a shit stepdad to fabian and hallariel... is hallariel. its got to sting was watch your mom be basically catatonic for your entire life, and then suddenly prove that she was capable of being an present mother the whole time- just not for you. im hopeful that senior year will address this though!! lou has always been so good giving his characters' weighty emotional arcs that feel satisfying

i dont like the implication of trackerbees getting back together. i never thought bladebees was good beyond a realistic rebound, but trackerbees was SO codependent together, i dont think its a coincidence that kristen had her best emotional intelligence moments when forced to think things through on her own. tracker always struck me as kind of a 'fixer' type, like she feels most comfortable with someone she can act caretaker-y to (hence bouncing off kristen to another girl who had similar issues). i really reaaaally hope they dont regress back into their s2 dynamic

ruben's memory wipe. i thiiink the implication is that those who were the most willing to follow through on porter's orders maintained more of their memories bc they were in control of themselves and those who didn't were compelled into obedience (which might be why ivy and oisin remember more), but it wouldve been nice to actually see the lucy/ruben close friendship brennan said they had with him sobbing and apologising to her

it felt very weird that kristen didnt get some kind of resolution to her yearlong gentle prodding at bucky?? i think ally got sidetracked with the possibility of kristen getting back together with her ex that it kind of slipped from their mind (maybe bc to them the ankarna vision of her upbringing was kristen resolving her feelings towards her family but still), but considering all of elmville was coming apart, i feel like bucky's faith could've been swaying into doubt pretty easily. idk maybe bc ive become a trackerbees hater over the season but it felt annoying that that was what ally focused in on and not their character's more meaningful relationship with her little brother

[pieofdeath]

this fake murder plan is so incredibly elaborate.

Gorgug turning 14 feet tall and putting a cloak on to pretend to be a god??

Adaine making it rain... just for the ambiance?? Absolutely no reason for that but damn is it funny (and we got some good dome graphics out of it!)

British Kristen shooting the crossbow instead of Fabian, who was right there, for some reason.

"Now, here's the real question. You know that you've given the performance of a lifetime. You know that someone in the window, gotta be Ruben, someone in the window saw. How long does Fig lie on the lawn?"

They're so teenagers. this is so stupid and elaborate and so fucking funny and NORMAL KRISTEN WASNT EVEN THERE FOR IT. IT WAS JUST BRITISH STRAIGHT KRISTEN.

[incorrectly-quoted-queers]

TLDR of the Bad Kids in Fantasy High Junior Year

Adaine: I've gaslit girlbossed gatekeeped the Elven Oracle into a paid job and my sister is a cat lady. I'm winning. Fabian: My loneliness is completely definitely perfectly masked by fried rice and low-fi study hangouts and being a Maximum Legend, but I SWEAR TO MY PAPA IF ANOTHER ONE OF MY GIRLFRIENDS IS A TURNCOAT— Gorgug: Teachers said I couldn't barbarian right or artificer right, so I did both. Fuck you. Riz: I will be doing all the clubs and all the campaigning and acing all my classes and cat-herding my friends and despite my mother's ridiculous concerns about my mental health there will be absolutely no consequences. None. Kristen Applebees: I gotta be real with y'all. I am deeply insecure about the loss of my god but we are doing a great job of compensating that loss with our open discussions with the steelworkers and the middle schoolers and my ex-girlfriend at her sort of commercially phony religious movement. Really reaching out to the community. Our campaign is even piloting several radical policies, such as "not wearing pants" and "splitting oneself into two people and one of them is British, straight, and pregnant and somehow connects to my god better than I do which I'm definitely not insecure about but it's fine because she's obliterated now". And given all our hard work, I truly think we'll have a legendary— Wait, this isn't supposed to be my presidential acceptance speech? Fig: I got bored without my girlfriend around so I triple-classed, wrote the album of the summer, and psychologically terrorized an emo gnome. See you in the stars, bitches.

[evil-sometimes]

notes while watching latest ep:

ANKARNA ART

"when u see her you'll feel like urself again, I get it ur girlfriend's out of town" 😭

fig coming in with the power of love!!

emily axford ily, figayda ily, brennan why did u take away her gf !!!

a saving throw for the worldddd fig u are a legend no one will ever come close

K2 ART UNION JACK BIKE SHORTS insaneeee i cant

not k2 hitting on fabian, fabian u can't escape the complicated women, ur swag is too weird

*bad british accent* "shes smol as fuck mate"

the rain animation 👍

figs feign death plan is off the walls as usual and i love her

deadpan voice "eugenia shadow has given u her phone number"

truly the most obvious person to text to do a tattoo designed

crisps in the bin

murphs reactions throughout kristens whole downtime are wild HWAT DOES HE KNOW

"i gotta go talk to my friend murph" yeah me too whats going onn

bucky :(( :(((((

a courageous choice to make. my god is about freefall

kristen being a good big sister!!!! kristen being a good cleric!!! 😭

seeing kristen lose all of her stress tokens is so cathartic

blimey

Lydia could be ankarnas champion??

AYDA METEOR LOVE MESSAGE BEING SENT THROUGH THE STARS SINCE BEFORE THEY EVEN MET

oh cool murph nat20

oh shit !! theyre pulling up the jace and porter thing from soph yr

MURPH NAT 20 FUCJING PORTER FUCKING PALADIN EMILY AXFORD WITH THE BEST INSTINCTS IN THE GAME

zacs face when the screen goes blank and he realises that the shit teacher to gorgug is the bad guy too

barbarian healing meaning shit but hes multiclass what a fucking godamn hypocrite

(at this point i starting baking a loaf of bread whil i watched so i stopped taking notes)

[foggysirens]

i cant watch the ep and i dont care about spoilers PLS someone describe wanda childas execution what happened to my girl

okay so basically the the wanda childa fake assassination happens because the bad kids have cracked down on the ratgrinders and chaos mother emily axford decided to bless us with this new fantastic wanda childa idea where she’s gonna go into rubens dreams again, right? she wants to basically make him think that because the ratgrinders have this plan with the shatterstars and keeping ankarna as a rage god that it’s the reason why he and wands can’t be together and fig wants to see if ruben will flip causes EXCEPT because of the protection they have on their minds she can only be a voyeur in his dreams essentially, but in that the bad kids figure out that rubens house is the ratgrinders base and not one to be deterred, figs NEW plan is to rock up to rubens house, throw rocks at his window in the rain (provided graciously by adaine) and when the balcony opens to reveal no one but also maybe(?) ruben, she profess her love and desire to be together but oh what? what’s this? kipperlilly? no - not kipperlilly, but thats the code word for fabian and k2 (kristens straight, slightly british clone) to SHOOT HER with a fucking CROSS BOW where fig then rolls a 34 performance and has a full “mmm whatcha say” death scene where her emo so tiny and so small thumb-hoodie falls open to reveal the same death markings as lucy and yolands and she then proceeds to lay fake dead in the rain until adaine casts enlarge/reduce on gorgug, they throw a big cloak on him and he grabs “dead” wanda childa and runs away ALL OF THIS just to sow seeds of doubt in ruben about the ratgrinders and kipperlilly and torment him over the death of his emo girl crush. it’s amazing. doubly so when later in the episode fig decides to disguise self as wanda childa again at fabians birthday party cause our emo queen shall never die.

[call-me-cole]

Buttoning Up K2

Imagine you are born a complete copy of someone else. You have no idea what it is to be human, no idea what the state of the world is. All you have is a slightly different accent, 2 DVDs, and the innate drive to do bits all the time.

The original version of you has all these friends that put up with her antics but still care. You try to lean into that, but they keep you at arms length unless its a bit or by accident. You are a copy and they know that.

You feel alone and you don't know what you're doing at all but you try to do what the original version would do. You follow her lead. You get accepted into a high school, you flirt and start dating. Everything is just beginning to feel real, until the last party of the year.

You are on a ship when the dragons attack. There is no time for jokes or bits you have to fight. Immediately you rush to the cannons. Shots are sent out and hit after hit the dragons go down, but they keep coming.

Above you the deck is being damaged you don't know how bad, but by the looks on everyone's faces its getting dire. Oh that's right they have a telepathic bond. Suddenly K1 gets up and runs climbing up and sending others down to help. You stay and man the cannons.

More damage rains in and after a devastating lightning crack your originator runs down in search of you. She looks at you scared, bleeding and burnt and you heal her.

You've never known your goddess. Not as she does, but in that moment you feel her. It dawns on you then that you know doubt better than anyone.

As the dragons disappear the tension rises as a clouded figure looms into view. Its open maw blocking your way as wind and storm whips around you. You can see K1 begin to pray. The shards in her pocket begin to glow, but their light soon fades out. Her face falls and as she looks to you you know what she is asking.

"Blimey", you shout. God Blind Me. You have no idea where that came from. You are not even British. Yet it felt right.

The shards begin to glow brighter.

You think harder. Focusing on every moment. From the first time you came into being, to the time you took a pregnancy test. Fabian doesn't even know yet. You think about your future and doubt whether you would live to see it.

You look the clouds head on.

"I said Blimey"

------------------------------------------------------------------

You are K1, no, just Kristen. You aren't the most dexterous, or the best fighter, but no matter what, when your friends need you, you are there. It was you who saved everyone from Kalvaxas. It was you who brought back Cassandra. It was you who released Lucy and Yolanda.

You managed to save Gorgug, and now your friends need you to pull out one more miracle. Its time to save the world and Kristen Chilis Applebees is up to bat. As the clouds swarm into view you recognize him, the Nightmare King. You reach for her shards on instinct. Is it already too late? You pull on that doubt weaving it into words, letting the prayer fall from your lips, but nothing happens.

Why now?

After all this, why now?

You look up and you see your clone followed you here. She looks lost like she always does, but joins you.

"Blimey", the words spring from her lips and the shards start glowing.

What-

She doesn't-

She can't, right-

You think back to when she was first created. Adaine said she was a direct copy and could do everything you can do, but even this?!

You watch her and begin to doubt everything. The shards begin to light up even more.

"I said Blimey"

[jq37]

The Report Card – Fantasy High Junior Year Ep 17

It’s Emily Axford’s World, We’re Just Living in It

Welcome back to Fantasy High where this monster 3+ hour bombshell of an episode is dropping during one of the busiest weeks of my life! There is SO much going on in this episode that I’m absolutely going to have to speed through things to get this out before the next episode but I’ll try to hit on all of the most important points. OK, ready, set, let’s go!

We closed out last ep in the middle of downtime where we learned that Jace had a scar from being infected with a rage crystal shatter star and from there we still have a bunch more downtime to get through. Highlights!

Riz investigates the footage from the crystal cam and again has the feeling that he needs to go back to his office and check out any open-ended clues because he’s missing something. 

Gorgug tries to work on a way to harness the power of the Night Yorb’s darkness since it’s trapped in his van since they’ll probably be fighting a solar deity soon. He does mention it to Henry but not why he’s doing it. He also looks into the Cloud Rider and confirms with the Aviation Club goblin kid that it would be powerful enough to lift the Hangman (referring not to the motorcycle, but to Bill’s ship which is now Seacaster manor). 

Fig writes another Ankarna themed song and rolls an insane 37. That’s powerful enough that she’s able to commune with Ankarna in her dreams. She calms the distressed Ankarana with the paladin spell Atonement and by commiserating that both of their girlfriends are “out of town”. Ankarna calls Fig her hero and says that “She’s always known” before she wakes up. 

Fig keeps haunting Ruben's dreams but they're abjured so she can't straight up talk to him. In his dream, she sees his house in Elmville and feels rage as well as fear. She sees a glade in Far Haven Woods and a scared pre-emo Ruben which makes her think that that's where they did whatever they did to kick things off and that maybe the old Ruben is still trapped somewhere. 

She then goes full Emily Axford and–along with the help of Fabian, British Kristen, Gorgug, and Adaine–goes to Ruben’s house and FAKES THE DEATH OF WANDA CHILDA BY KIPPERLILLY. Once she’s “dead” Adaine casts Enlarge on Gorgug and throws a cloak on him so he can take her away the in the same way Buddy’s body was taken away. It’s the performance of a lifetime with a 34 but the craziest part is they know someone was watching through the window but they have no idea who it was. InSANE. Imagine if it’s just Kipperlilly watching from Ruben’s window like ???????

Finally she gets Eugenia to design a tattoo for Fabian’s bday that will let him cast Ghost Step. She’s gonna secretly tattoo it on him because sure why not. 

Kristen talks to a very stressed Jawbone who has been dealing with a lot of angry kids lately which is, como se dice, troubling considering the whole rage god situation. She downloads him on everything going on and reveals that she was gonna try to have British Kristen steal files so she can see if the addresses of the angry kids form a 24 pointed star but instead she helps Jawbone clean his office and asks if she can have the addresses. He can’t give out student info but he says he’ll check a map and see if they form a star as well as checking on Jace. Kristen tells him to be super careful because the last teacher they talked to was Yolanda, RIP. (He also mentions the Sophomore Year Hotel Cav fight as being a weird thing that happened and the murder attempt of Lydia–things that we’ve already flagged as loose ends. We’ll get back to this).

Bobby Dawn is freaking out because they can’t find Buddy’s soul in corn heaven. Kristen reveals that he’s not in corn heaven and in fact is following a new god (after confirming he doesn’t have a rage crystal). Bobby Dawn thinks he’s being punked–especially once Kristen says the new god is her god’s ex-wife–but Kristen is being pretty sincere (so sincere that Murph is melting into a puddle anticipating she’s about to give the game away to one of their least fave NPCs–imo, she didn’t give away anything game ending but she was def playing with fire). Bobby tells Kristen to call him if there’s anything he can do to help find Buddy and Kristen dips to go talk to “[her] friend Murph.” Not Riz, Murph the irl guy, lol. As that happens, Bobby goes to have a whisper convo with his wife Pam who is also there. Suspicious.  

Riz/Murph makes the connection that Lake Shimmerstone is called that because of the gem filaments that flow from the Mountains of Chaos. It's a classic "no rolls necessary" moment. 

Kristen finally checks the bylaws and sees that the major change made was that there is no longer any inaugural period post election. So once the votes are counted, whoever wins is president right away. It was a change by Mazey requested by a faculty member--they think Jace. 

Kristen checks on her brother finally and it doesn't seem like he has a rage crystal but he's pretty bummed that he hasn't been able to convert any of his friends despite being a good paladin. He's also having a little existential crisis because he has non Helioic friends who don't actually seem like scary heathens. But then he was warned that sin might be tempting. Kristen tells him that she understands and that he has to decide whether he knows himself better than their parents. She says she's always around to talk. She then does a Relaxation roll and loses 3 stress tokens! Brennan also has her roll a d6 for the Relationship track roll with Buddy and on a 6, loses her final stress token!

Like Fig, Kristen also gets to commune with her goddess. Cass says that she's trapped and the king will come to Spyre. She says her wife's "fiery hand" grasps her in death and she has to protect her from the upcoming destruction--but she can't do it as herself. She tells Kristen that Ankarna has a champion as well and when Kristen asks who Cass says she already knows the champion. Finally, she urges her to look into what Kalina said because there was to be a good reason for her saying Ragh’s name. 

I’m going to leave the bullets for a moment (largely because Tumblr gets mad at blocks of text that are too big) to say that Adaine and Fig go to Ayda’s geocache and find an insane amount of spell components which would have been super useful earlier in the year. It also has instruments for Fig including a new bass that Brennan says he’ll get Emily the item card for ASAP. Back to bullets!

In his research, Riz finds the location in the Mountains of Chaos of the Temple of the Fallen Sun where Lydia's party members stopped in their travels. 

Riz looking into the Loam files sees that the person they're after must have had some ability to stun their opponents which is probably the reason for the lack of defensive wounds. He also learns that Ruvina's festival was called the Festival of Frost which sounds a lot like Frosty Fair. 

He finds some text about something called the War of Shattered Stones which apparently took place around when Ankarna's domain changed. 

On a hunch that there is more going on with the rat grinding than meets the eye, the whole gang takes a field trip to Lake Shimmerstone and Riz finds evidence that at some point the Rat Grinders were taken here while a massive giant was fighting deadly monsters. That doesn’t make sense so they call in some rats to question who tell them that there was a giant fighting these monsters and basically leaving the killing blows to the Rat Grinders so they’d get the XP–which is mechanically insane diegetically but we’re gonna ignore that. The rats also confirm that this was when Lucy was still around. The Bad Kids think that the RG’s made a deal with this giant (who the rats say is a guy btw) to get powered up and they got crystals as their end of the bargain. 

OK, that basically wraps up downtime. One more piece of business before we head to the Temple of the Fallen Sun! Zara has a talk with Fig where after heaping praise on her, she passes along a message–the appearance of a surprise meteor shower which was arranged by Ayda and is the most romantic thing ever. I won’t recap it, just watch it yourself. I can’t do it justice. Before Fig leaves for some hot tub time, Zara asks about Fig’s evaluation and Fig assures her she already turned it in. 

Time for a griffon road trip! And strap in because this is a MEATY lore dump. Sandra Lynn brings everyone on griffons to the Temple of The Fallen Sun and Riz brings his files because he can’t shake the feeling that he’s missing something. 

They find this infernal temple littered with humanoid bones and Fig can tell with her divine sense that it's a temple to Ankarna. There is a place where Ankarna’s name was destroyed and replaced with a Ranger’s symbol that says: Do Not Enter. Fallen Temple. There’s also evidence that someone tried to rewrite Ankarna’s name but it’s not her actual name. It’s the glyph that means her but isn’t her actual name. Which suggests that there’s a group of Ankarna followers that are trying to do stuff involving her but that don’t know her name. 

Everyone who can loads up on Truesight and See Invisibility before they enter the temple. There are a bunch of pretty good Investigation checks but, in particular, Riz gets a 32 and Fig gets a Nat 20.

Fig sees a vision (and Adaine can see it too--I assume as elven oracle she can just piggyback on anyone else having visions lol) of two giantkin wearing robes with a sun emblem being executed by armored individuals wearing robes with a fiery emblem on it. This temple was built right when Ankarna's domain was changing. They’re seeing the old priests of Ankarna being executed by the new ones. 

It's clear that this temple was built as a part of a state religion--the focus on conquest and strength is very empire-y. Adaine sees some writing in Giant and casts Comprehend Language so she can read it. There’s a bunch about the War of Shattered Stone and some new stuff about the temple being built for the glory of the House of Sunstone. They walk through the temple and see all this awful equipment for torture and execution. They get the sense that this is where Ankarna was changed. Her new followers did a bunch of heinous stuff in her name to force her to become infernal. As above, so below and all. 

Adaine casts Legend Lore and Brennan basically salivates. 30 seconds later, Riz rolls a Nat 20 to Investigate his files. So we’re about to crack this whole thing wide open folks. Let’s do this!

Fig and Kristen explore a chamber and Kristen's shards glow so bright she has to wrap fabric around them so they don't hurt peoples' eyes. They realize that their goddesses have been in this room together before. It's where they got divorced. Fig sees a vision of a bunch of Cass's followers dropping their weapons and backing up slowly and then being brutally slaughtered by the new guard of Ankarna. 

Adaine's Legend Lore starts: Sunstone was the top clan of the giants and conquered all the others--Thunderfist, Hornspear, Moonspeak, and Frostblade (Lucy’s ancestors). Ships got better which meant people started mingling and so did their gods. Ankarna and Cassandra got married. Things were good for a while but the leaders of the church of Sol didn't like having two sun gods in their pantheon so they whispered in the ears of some of the Sunstone guys that maybe conquest was the way to go (this was when they started conquering the other clans).  

Clan Frostblade rose up to fight because Ruvina was so concerned with stopping her sister and at the sundering of the Cliff's of Colcath, House Sunstone was destroyed. 

At this point, Riz realizes the thing he was missing in his files and it’s the thing we noticed ages ago. The weird moment in Sophomore Year. How did Ragh get cursed so he could see Kalina in the first place? Brennan plays the clip, looking like the cat who ate the canary. Porter did “Barbarian Healing” on him. That’s not a real thing. Lay on Hands is though. Porter is the one who infected Ragh. Emily, who has hated this man from day one, is LIVING. 

Back to the Legend Lore: The sundering of the Cliffs of Colcath. Sundering as in breaking. As in Cliffbreaker–Porter’s last name. 

They start putting things together. Him telling Fig he's a paladin to his ancestors. Gorgug sees him smite a giant stone with the force that would be needed to fell a bunch of trees in the woods. Disasuding Fig from being a paladin of Cass. His connection to Jace from the start. The large figure healing Buddy? He’s big as hell and Paladins can revivify. And Ankarna telling Fig that she’s known all along. 

The Legend Lore Concludes: After the sundering at the cliffs, the remaining Sunstones changed their names (to Cliffbreaker) and went into hiding. The Frostblades destroyed Ankarna's name to free her from the corruption (but I guess that went a little too far and backfired). The name was lost but a lot of Ankarna's true followers waited for her return. That includes Bakur who the Bad Kids realize was trying to bring back not infernal, ragey Ankarna but sunny justice Ankarna. But he was stopped by her mortal followers. 

Sandra Lynn watching all of this is like, “Well shit,” and points out that if the world isn’t already in chaos they must not have everything they need yet. The Bad Kids figure the opposition must be missing the name and a successful election. The election is in four days so that’s how long they have to stop it. In one final sick fusion of bard and paladin, Fig uses a riff from her base to uncover an older image of Ankarna and Cassandra pre-corruption and then they head back home. 

(Note: This comes up later retroactively but before they leave, they also check for footprints and see recent ones of Porter, Jace, and Buddy. It looks like they teleported in.)

Kristen casts Sending to warn Jawbone that Porter is bad news and then they speculate some more. There was a question in an earlier episode about what does it actually mean that Ankarna died in the Red Waste. They figure out that it means that the last follower who remembered her name was killed there. 

They talk to Bakur who says again that he was betrayed by Ankarna’s mortal followers. He also mentions that even in her infernal state, she would refuse to grant her followers spells when they had plans to hurt her sister or wife (even when Ruvina’s followers were attacking her). 

Bakur realized that Ankarna's followers were interested in her power but not in her. Bakur also overheard conversation from Lydia's party that said that Ankarna needed to be remade in a place where a god has been borne. A god. Any god. Riz flashes back to Kipperlilly Jawbone asking where Yes! was borne. 

Fig with some help from Adaine makes a fake version of Ankarna's name to give to Porter--Bacharath written in Giant. While Fig goes to give this to Porter, Adaine is hiding outside with Detect Thoughts on and Riz is hiding nearby invisible and recording.

Fig finds Porter and tells him and she found a new god and found her name but it’s annoying because she can’t read Giant which she needs to do to rez the god. She does it really casually and acts like it’s no big deal and Porter tries to play it cool but Adaine can tell with her Detect Thoughts that he’s chomping at the bit to get that name. She makes sure that Fig crits on her Deception with a portent. He (not at all) causally offers to help Fig translate and snatches the piece of paper from her. Fig then challenges him to spar and he agrees. Brennan asks for a Con roll and when Porter stomps his foot, everyone is immediately stunned (remember the mention of the stun effect and not defensive wounds earlier). Everyone but Riz who rolled a Nat 20. So he keeps his Invisibility. He also gets a high enough luck check to feel that there is someone else invisible nearby, close to Fig and Porter (note: later, Brennan tells Adaine that while she had Detect Thoughts up, for a moment she could detect the thoughts of an invisible KP). 

The last thought Adaine gets from Porter as her concentration drops on Detect Thoughts is, “Did I lock the office?”

Porter helps Fig up and doesn’t actually fight her but it feels like they just saw Porter do a Legendary Action which is a weird thing for a teacher to do–even a strong one. Fig asks what the hell that was and Porter plays it coy, saying senior year is gonna be really exciting. Riz is absolutely not having that non-answer and Misty Steps into Porter’s office. With his high investigation, he just finds everything so back to bullets:

There’s a note where he’s intimidating Halo St. Croix (the paladin teacher) into letting him teach the multiclass paladins. 

There are MCATs signed for him to teach both Lucy and Buddy paladin lessons. 

There’s an encrypted message between Porter and Bobby Dawn where Bobby is basically saying he’s very happy for Sol to remain the ONLY god of the sun in town but a new war god? That could be OK. He also suggests Porter look into Devil’s Honey for his plan. 

There's medicine to help with a psychosomatic allergic to feline dandruff (prob Kalina related). 

There’s filo dough–the kind you use to make baklava (a honey based dessert). 

There’s a leather cord, probably used in the casting of Spy’s Tongue Curse than smells rank. 

There are tons of blenders full of whey, protein powder, and ambrosia–food of the gods. Together, they piece together that mortals aren’t supposed to eat ambrosia because it kills them. Not in a violent way–they just ascend to the afterlife. They figure that Porter is basically eating god supplements, with the intention of supplanting Ankarna and becoming the new god of rage. Explains why he suddenly has legendary actions. 

There’s some cryptic, vague communication with the Rat Grinders which doesn’t give much away but is enough to tip them off that Ruben’s house is the place where they plan things. 

With that they go to investigate Ruben’s place. Before they go, Riz sets up a dead man’s switch that will release evidence if he doesn’t stop it–just in case they get trapped or held up or something. Adaine also calls her sister so she can cast a bunch of protective wards on Fabian’s place–she’s a master abjuration wizard after all. 

Riza goes in first and disables all the traps in Ruben’s house which means they won’t get caught but the RG’s will know someone was there later. Here’s everything they find and, like the rest of this episode, it’s a lot:

Adaine finds Oisin’s workstation and most notably finds a picture of his dragon ancestor hanging out with Kalvaxus, some notes about the Cloud Rider, and notes about stealing summons from other people (remember Adaine's mephits going haywire at Fabian's party). There's also some notes about a way to write telekinetically on the inside of a sphere. They’re not sure what that means. 

In Ruben's sound studio, they find notes from Porter helping Ruben write the song Get Mad--the song he did at Frosty Fair. 

Gorgug hacks into their private servers and sees all their communications. KP insists that they only call Cass the Nightmare King and (presumably) refers to Porter as the "Big Guy". She says he wants the Nightmare King and should have her locked down sooner rather than later just as soon as she shows herself in the Astral Plane. There's also stuff from last year where KP is really excited. She says the Big Guy has been looking out for them for a while and she's hyping Lucy up saying she gets to be the champion (something we know she didn't want). KP is specifically excited that this will allow them to keep up with the Bad Kids. Jace is also mentioned as a conspirator under the acronym JSD which isn’t slick at all lol.

Kristen sees evidence of Buddy helping with a ritual and stuff about where a god was "borne" (spelled correctly) so clearly they know a lot about what's going on. She also finds out what KP wants to do once she's President: she wants to shut down Aguefort as a school forever which will nullify the protections and wards it has centered on it, the big one being that Elmville can't be moved to any other plane of existence while school is in session. They think the Rat Grinders want to teleport the whole town–perhaps to set up a divine domain. Which would need followers–specifically angry followers. IDK about y’all but I feel like being randomly teleported to the Astral Plane would make ME pretty angry. 

There are texts post Lucy but pre Buddy where they're like what are we gonna do now? There's a "We're all in this together now" vibe (like some kind of twisted High School Musical) and they resolve to "talk to the Big Guy"

We learn Buddy was chosen for the same reason Lucy was a good candidate–connection to Ankarna. Lucy because Ruvina was her sister and Buddy because of similar domains (Helio’s domain is a Solar offshoot). Also I didn’t mention this before but Buddy did *not* know what he was doing. Oisin and Ivy are joking about his cluelessness behind his back (Booooo I was rooting for you dude). 

There’s a message from Jace telling them to stop antagonizing the Bad Kids even though they want revenge which leads the Bad Kids to question what they ever did to them. 

In Oisin's room they also find a lot of stuff about dragons and an image of a fetal god being protected by the Nightmare King. Also they remember how cloudy the Nightmare King's realm was (maybe a cloud rider connection?) 

Deep breath, this is a lot of stuff and we’re almost done. 

There's stuff about the Thistulespring tree and Ruben’s song spreading the rage vibes that represent the crystals in the ground. 

They realize that Porter is probably using the Devil's Honey to lie to Ankarna about his intentions as he's communicating with her.

They see that for the ritual they needed a body (Porter), Ankarna's name, the protective storm of the NIghtmare King, and his name inscribed by the champion of the old goddess. They realize that’s why Zara never got her eval. Fig is the champion and she did Porter and Zara’s eval on the same sheet which he swiped for this ritual. He literally made Fig a paladin so he could get what he needed. Diabolical. Aguefort needs better hiring practices. 

OK. Phew. Finally done. They head out and the next day is election day. Porter isn’t at school that day which is not surprising but is concerning. They don’t see the RG’s either. After school it’s time for the big party/election at Fabian’s place. Mazey gets a booth set up and Jawbone is there as faculty to make it legit. Aelwyn has warded up the place. Fig is there as Wanda cause she’s a maniac. Adaine is casting Detect Magic continually at the voting booth to watch for shenanigans. Also Ragh shows up and he aced his tryouts! He’s gonna be a profesh bloodrush player! Hoot growl all around!

But Riz (and honestly Murph) is unsettled. Everyone’s at this party where Fabian’s victory is a sure thing? All in one location together? Rat Grinders nowhere to be seen? This is WAY too easy.  

Which is Brennan’s cure to drop the other shoe. 

Things are just like Adaine's visions...until they're not. The sky was always clear in her visions and now storm clouds are brewing. She gets a Sending spell from someone, "You didn't see the storm coming? Must not be a very good Oracle." Oisin. Suddenly, ping pong balls with runes inside of them start raining down from where they've been stuck in the unkept Seacaster manor for months. From when Oisin "missed" his shots. Telekinetic writing inside a sphere. Runes inside ping pong balls. As they fall, there's a sudden lurch. Winds kick up and Seacaster manor is flying above Elmville. Everyone rolls initiative! 

I’m not doing proper Honor Roll/Detention this week because this was such a long episode and I'm exhausted. Honestly, Honor Roll for me for getting this up in time. Detention for Fabian for not using is 10k gold allowance to have someone clean his house in the past 9 months. 

Random Notes

Gonna just stick to a few plot relevant ones to keep this brief. 

Re: Adaine not seeing the storm in the same way that the previous oracle couldn't. I wonder if that’s just a blanket thing that weather evades predictions or if they did the same thing that was done during Kal’s plan to evade that oracle's sight before Aelwyn sunk her ship.

I don’t think I made it clear but Porter def killed Yolanda according to this ep. 

Porter’s Legendary Action is able to stun someone for multiple rounds which in combat would be devastating. 

I’m shocked they never tried to talk to Ruvina at any point during the campaign. 

I am still VERY concerned about Riz being made staff by Jace and given silver. That feels suspicious given we know he’s on Team Porter Ascension. 

I didn’t get into it because it was nebulous and would have messed with the flow of the recap but there was something there about teleportation circles and the Rat Grinders continually casting teleport to make a circle and maybe that’s how they’re gonna get Elmville into the Astral Plane. Just mentioning it in case it comes up again.

I don’t think we got closure on the “where the god was borne” thing. Because borne means carried, not created, right? I wonder if Seacaster manor would count because the corpse of Yes! Was brought there by Ankarna. 

The Rat Grinders and Porter have at least 2 obstacles they don’t know about. They don’t have the real name (unless they got in since Fig gave Porter the fake one) and Fig is literally domain squatting on Ankarna’s domain. She already called dibs so any claiming will have to go through her. 

I think it’s really nice that Adaine tried to do a relaxation track for Kristen. Handshake meme, her and Riz.

Emily insisting so hard and consistently that Porter was evil that Brennan just made him evil has some real as above/so below energy lol.

[queerpiratebrainrot]

I am in fact writing down my thoughts on the new FHJY ep (Untapped Rage) here, sooo have fun!

I completely forgot about the whole Sandra Lynn's ex thing! And it's BOBBY DAWN?! Damn

"Sandra Lynn, messy! I love her" - Same Adaine/Siobhan, same

Sklonda going "I talk to her every once in a while, we get drinks and talk about having wonderful, great kids who are doing great adventuring"

Yea, those two are absolutely ranting about how reckless and overworked their kids are and "bless them, but can they never just act like normal kids?! Why must they keep dragging themselves into this shit??"

"Pundle, when are we getting that beer?" I want them to so bad!

Attend graduation FIG WHY did you say it like that? But yea, def there's gonna be some shit going down there!

"Not so secret secret society" - I haven't finished The Seven yet, but is it not so secret cuz dear Penny Luckstone cannot keep a secret? I'll find out soon!

GORGUG COMING THROUGH with that root question! And then Ally critting immediately again! Rootwarden trees are so cool!

"Uuh GERTIE is a ranger!" Hell yea Adaine, help your friend flirt and get together with your other friend's nemesis!

"She has doctor's appointments to go to!"

Fabian gets a text from Gilear asking abiut the babyclothes! This is honestly my favourite bit so far

BUCKY ISN'T ATTENDING CLASSES? ooeeeh

Aelwyn moves back to Mordred Manor! Her being SO mean to Kristen immediately, after Kristen is kindly was rude to her! Just Kristen, Fig, Adaine and Aelwyn all acting Peak Siblings, Big Slay

"You guys don't have to livestream this"

"What's up bitch, I cast legend lore on you and nothing came up" - I adore Petty Butch Adaine so much!

THE LEGEND LORE SPELL! I love him

Riz being of legendary importance due to summoning the night yorb is iconic, as is him realising he's on the night yorb wikipedia

"Two in one year, that's embarrassing for you, huh" PETTY ADAINE AT IT AGAIN

The British Straight Kristen Bit is great

Mazey's family being in a labyrinth in the red waste! HA, fantastic! And I love Fabian and Mazey's date! So sweet :)

AYDA LEFT ANOTHER MESSAGE/BOX FOR ADAINE AND FIG! CAN'T WAIT TO SEE IT!

Adaine and Sandra Lynn interaction was so sweet!

JACE'S EYES FLASHING RED DAMN, i cannot wait to see more! And go to the mountains of chaos!

[fillingthescrapbook]

Let's Talk About: Fantasy High Junior Year and The Name

"There's no cock on this one!"

This episode is bananas. In a great way. Like, this is the kind of quality story-telling that we don't get from television anymore. Not because the writing sucks; studios just don't produce long-running shows anymore…outside of procedurals. And you can't get this kind of lived-in universe, complicated relationships and drama that comes with it, and seed-planting-and-reaping that Fantasy High has done if you don't have the episode numbers and the seasons to back it up.

Yes, I know that Fantasy High is only on its third season. But we've had off-shoots and one-offs that count as filler episodes. Episodes that may not have moved the story but have definitely grown the characters, colored the world.

Anyway--

This episode is bananas. This season is bananas. And it's all thanks to the episodes that came before. The bits that spun into something bigger. The throwaways that became whole entities. And, most especially, the foreshadowing that was allowed to wait and mature at the right time.

Ayda's love letter during the meteor shower? Epically romantic. But the words that composed it wouldn't have the same impact had we not waited the years between Junior Year and Sophomore Year.

The "Mmm Whatcha' Say" outside Ruben's House; Kristen's touching scene with Bucky, and Cassandra's message; Fabian feeding someone fried rice that's been out in the sun for days; Gorgug going full hacker; Kristen 2 being British AND straight? These are just some of the bits that gave the more plot-bound scenes more gravitas. More impact.

Fig's vision at the Temple of the Fallen Sun; Adaine failing at her Elven Oracle job yet stringing together the legend and history of Ankarna; Riz being so good at being a spy--

And then Brennan cues in the footage of himself from 2019/2020. Of Murph asking how Ragh was able to see Kalina. Bringing back the question of "what the fuck is Barbarian Healing?"

The curtain reveal of how Brennan sold Emily on playing the same character--and it's not the Gilear curse after all. Although it plays into the whole thing.

The Bad Kids have gone a long way. The Intrepid Heroes? Even longer. They've grown. We've grown. And I thank the universe that there are still creatives who are doing proper long-form storytelling.

Thank you, Dimension 20. Thank you, Dropout.

And now we're gonna have to wait one whole week for the next episode. We're finally going to find out what Ally does that breaks Brennan.

I can't wait to see how this all plays out.

[ghost-bard]

I was like half way to being delirious during this weeks fhjy ep cuz reasons but god british kristen and dm zac was crazy. Also yes if/when the rat grinders die i will cry bc i love them and they didnt deserve what they got and yes i will cheer when porter (hopefully) gets fuckin destroyed bc even if i find him interesting as a villain/antagonist hes a shitty teacher and that makes me upset.

Other thoughts on the ep are just gorgug and kristen being death buddies bc yknow. And gorgug as whole, but thats just the norm for me.

Is this anything.