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amaya-7 · 1 year

Text

What Sports the Hashira Would Do !!

Characters: Muichiro, Mitsuri, Rengoku, Obanai, Tengen, Giyuu, Shinobu, Sanemi (No Gyomei soz)

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CW: Strong language, maybe a suggestive joke or two, very minor spoiler puns

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Giyuu ☆〜（ゝ。∂）

➶ I’m getting baseball kid vibes

➶ If that doesn’t rock with you then probs swimming

➶ But for now, let’s go with baseball

➶ An apparently unpopular kid playing a popular sport?

➶ It just goes hand-in-hand

➶ (Post Giyuu infinity castle arc pun intended)

➶ But srsly he sure can hit a home run

➶ The ball is flying, the crowds cheering, Giyuu forgets to run

➶ It’s not his fault

➶ ‘lil boi got flustered

➶ When he does run though, HE MAKES UP FOR IT

➶ Bro gobbles that game up and doesn’t even leave the plate

➶ He’s so humble about it too

➶ “You did so well, Giyuu!”

➶ “Thanks :|”

➶ Not a thought behind those eyes

➶ Honestly his team is patting him on the back

➶ And he’s standing there likes he’s getting assaulted 😭

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Shinobu ☆〜（ゝ。∂）

✾ Ohhh she’s such a volleyball girl

✾ And she’s mainly in it so she can strike a ball in someone’s face

✾ It’s a coping mechanism

✾ As for the position she’d play

✾ I reckon she’s a setter

✾ She’s calculating and doesn’t need to run as much as a libero

✾ She’s small though so she needs to make up for her height in aiming skills

✾ It’s a blessing and a curse

✾ Just pray her eye doesn’t twitch while she’s aiming for you

✾ Because you ain’t catching the ball with your hands

✾ She’s so calm and collected during a game though

✾ SHE MAKES VOLLEYBALL LOOK SO EASY 💀

✾ You know what I mean?

✾ She receives a pass so neatly?

✾ And it lightly flys over the net with grace

✾ She was a fairy

✾ She also hates the boys’ team

✾ No one knows why

✾ No one even knows tbh

✾ She just doesn’t like them

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Rengoku ☆〜（ゝ。∂）

҉ He’s definitely a soccer bro

҉ You know those players that get their shoulder bumped

҉ And then act like their whole arm flew off

҉ Kyojuro soooo calls them out on their bs

҉ “Stop being dramatic and get up my friend!”

҉ (Zenitsu was the one on the ground)

҉ He’s also such a team player

҉ It’s actually scientifically proven that it’s impossible to hate Kyojuro

҉ My scrumptious, gorgalicious, pumpkin vroom vroom

҉ Sorry, I need to compose myself

҉ The definition of good sportsmanship?

҉ Literally stapled onto his forehead

҉ Someone made a foul play?

҉ He will NOT hesitate to tell the umpire

҉ And when he’s on the field

҉ He would do cool spins to avoid the opposing team

҉ Like the guys who make soccer edits with their 100% rsmb, over-sharpened “4K topaz like quality”, and blinding saturation would make edits of his spins

҉ I am in wuv

҉ AND WHEN ITS A DRINK BREAK??

҉ He’s shooting the water into his mouth, wiping his forehead while patting a team member on the back and pushing some hair strands back

҉ Literal orgasm on the spot

҉ Who do you think is my favourite hashira btw

҉ Personally, I would guess gyomei

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Mitsuri ☆〜（ゝ。∂）

❥ I literally cannot see her as anything but a netball girl

❥ I was about to put gymnastics bc netball isn’t common in the Japanese culture

❥ But then I thought that would be too predictable and boring

❥ Story is, she saw the netball team dresses and wrote her name on the signup sheet so fast

❥ You could literally see smoke rising from the page

❥ Looked like a damn carnival with all those flying sparks

❥ But she 100% brings her effort to the table

❥ And she outshines EVERYONE

❥ Her team is doing laps for stamina building and while they’re all perishing in the back

❥ Mitsuri over here is skipping along her merry fucking way

❥ She’s tougher than your average person and any doubt about it was demolished as soon as she began sports

❥ As for the position she plays

❥ It’s obvious, no?

❥ Bench warmer

❥ Lmfao jk she’s such a strong centre

❥ Running around the court

❥ Receiving those passes with a “Thank you!”

❥ Every time someone made a good shot (her team or not) she would yell “Do it again!”

❥ Literally everyone that see’s her on the opposing team doesn’t know whether to thank the heavens or cry at their sealed, unfortunate fate

❥ But everyone loves her either way

❥ Her and Kyojuro are sooooo similar in this regard

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Obanai ☆〜（ゝ。∂）

୭ Let me just

୭ Let me think for a sec

୭ Yeah he’s not spilling his secrets to me today

୭ Golf? 😭

୭ I was thinking “I’ll cross this bridge when I get to it”

୭ And now I’m here

୭ What do I do

୭ Let’s just stick with golf for the sake of my word count

୭ He fr chose golf because of it being a no contact sport

୭ And because it was a quiet one too

୭ He’s such a grandpa

୭ People start clapping when he does a good putt and he just goes “>:(“

୭ He cannot STAND people watching him play

୭ He just wants to be one with the club

୭ Like Shinobu, he has a really good eye for aim

୭ I’ll bet sm money on the fact that he’ll have a little snake embroidered onto his polo-shirts chest pocket

୭ I mean, this guy can go for 3 days without eating (canon), he’s bound to have some money saved up for smth like that

୭ Ok my creativity is at its limit with this one

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Sanemi ☆〜（ゝ。∂）

༄ؘ BASKETBALL

༄ؘ I cannot be convinced of anything else (ok maybe track)

༄ؘ Take a moment to imagine this

༄ؘ It’s pre-game

༄ؘ He’s in his jersey

༄ؘ Biceps out for all to see

༄ؘ And he’s casually bouncing a ball to occupy himself

༄ؘ Are we on the same page??

༄ؘ Are you drooling bc I am

༄ؘ AND WHEN HE’S IN GAME??

༄ؘ He’s dodging, shooting and passing like a pro

༄ؘ He’s so quick and sharp with his movements

༄ؘ The other team just can’t catch him

༄ؘ But watch whatever you can

༄ؘ Because he won’t be on the court for long 💀

༄ؘ He has the patience of a gecko

༄ؘ The second someone does something to trigger him

༄ؘ He is off the walls

༄ؘ And now off the court

༄ؘ Now he’s just sitting on the bench like a child being put in the naughty corner 😭

༄ؘ I’m getting secondhand embarrassment for some reason oml

༄ؘ But it’s okay because the second he starts wiping the sweat on his face with his shirt???

༄ؘ Literal washboard abs I’m telling you

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Muichiro ☆〜（ゝ。∂）

✧ Mr. Prodigy over here is definitely a karate kid

✧ Will kick your ass

✧ Srsly though if you pick on him

✧ Your friend will be the floor for the next 5 hours that you’re out cold for

✧ He’s disciplined in mind and soul

✧ Even if he’s a little butthole sometimes

✧ His teachers see his fast progress

✧ And waste no time in utilising his talent

✧ He got moved up to the class for 16 year olds

✧ Mainly so he would stop rocking his classmates shit

✧ His brother picks on him less these days

✧ Wonder why

✧ あらあら~

✧ All the girls swoon

✧ He has a little fan club perched in the stands at his comps

✧ They’re like crows when they see shiny things

✧ “IT’S MINE IT’S MINE FUCK OFF”

✧ Smth with that vibe

✧ The way he smashes through the wood with his kick is honestly scary

✧ Terrifying

✧ You do NOT want to be on the receiving end of his kicks

✧ Bc the next time you open your eyes, you’re having an out of body experience

✧ Literally watching your body from the heavens

✧ Rest in peace ‼️

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Tengen ☆〜（ゝ。∂）

♛ He has 3 girlfriends

♛ Need I say more?

♛ Well if that’s not enough of a sport

♛ Idk whether to say wrestling or illegal boxing

♛ Let’s go with wrestling because he’s got da muscles

♛ Illegal boxing happens ONLY when he finishes his homework

♛ He’s disciplined

♛ Anyways

♛ Gym

♛ Swimming pool

♛ The vet

♛ There isn’t a place you won’t see him working on his body

♛ He thinks of his body to be his personal shrine

♛ So wrestling helps to tone

♛ And harden

♛ And grow

♛ And

♛ Omg excuse me

♛ He does things to me it’s not my fault

♛ Anyways

♛ Imagine a gym bro with protein shakes and stuff

♛ That IS him

♛ In his matches, there’s girls with banners, boys with megaphones, teachers with hair falling out to keep everyone under control

♛ Bro milks the celebrity treatment as if it will never happen again

♛ He really lives up to it though

♛ He walks into the ring with the medal already around his neck

♛ His opponents always think that he’ll be slower because he’s got more heavy muscles

♛ Literally setting themselves up for failure with that mindset

♛ He whoops their ass

♛ Bulldozers them

♛ The crowds cheering

♛ His girlfriends are clapping

♛ The guy beneath him passes out

♛ All is well in the world of Tengen

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aureolinsic · 4 years

Text

SCM Gods in College HC (Punishments pt.2)

these guys in college is a bad idea y’all

4. Ichthys

mf that should really be in jail Notorious Prankster

Bisexual

is a Marine Biology student

rides everywhere on a penny board

favourite hobby is seeing if he can make Ziggle burst a blood vessel

tho if he tried he could rlly make him have an aneurysm

everyone else either hates him or loves him

honestly, he just wants everyone to laugh and be happy ☀️

he does take some of his pranks a little too far tho

Like when he swapped the incense in the prayer rooms with weed and made everyone get high

Or when he swapped the water in Scorpy’s bottle to 96% alcohol vodka

lord knows where he got such a strong drink

cried when he retaliated by destroying his taiyaki stash

Teo usually makes him feel better by throwing a party

protip: Ikky is a wild party animal y’all

out here doing karaoke and slut dropping on tables

always ends up in someone else’s room half naked

is a part of the band ZODIAC as a bassist

is also a part of Ziggle’s debate club for fun

is actually a pretty big Vine star

absolute memelord

everyone wishes they were as cool as him

5. Partheno

Zero Moral Pervert

Pansexual

works part-time as a male model

Has a popular OnlyFans

his fans love his thicc ass

is peTTY™

will seduce anything with a pulse

like srsly he doesn’t mind getting dicked down or fucking a bitch either

is a Fashion Design student

is the best in his course by far

sis has incredible fashion sense. If he ever attended the Met Gala he’d slay all u hoes

his goal atm is to run through everyone on campus

Is a home👏wrecker👏

doesn’t matter if ur in a relationship, if he wants ur s/o then too bad boo he’s getting them

His Tinder and Grindr get hundreds of messages daily

is the no. 1 tea source on campus ☕️

has a lot of jealous haters but sis knows how to throw shade on their name and have their reputation destroyed

Regina George would be his bitch

likes to try and seduce his friends by calling them Daddy 💦

has never worked but we move

is lowkey in a competition with Teo to see who can be the biggest slut

Partheno is winning, sis wbk

queen 👑

Sharpay who?? Bitch step aside

Partheno’s in town and he’s ready to fuck yo bitch

will definitely be the first to be a celebrity

Wants to meet Kim K so he can flex on her

can out twerk a bitch any day of the week

Dreams of becoming a VS Angel and running the catwalk

overall: he’d step on u and you’d like it

6. Dui

The Kind, Smol Boi

Bisexual

Is a Nursing student

Everyone adores him. He has a big fan club on campus

is a part of the band ZODIAC as a vocalist

his voice makes everyone swoon like goddamn

Scorpio often acts as his bodyguard to fend off the thirsty thots

He’s trying to keep Dui untainted and blissfully unaware of the lusty members of his fan club but it’s a hard job

Dui knew he was bisexual ever since he had a crush on both Jessie and James from Pokémon as kid

you’d think bc he’s so innocent that he’s probably a huge lightweight at parties

lmao SIKE BITCH

this guy cannot get drunk. his intolerance is higher than ur grades, honey

Ichthys, Teo and the others always try and get him drunk but they always end up wasted before he’s even tipsy

is deserving of the title of Party King 🥂

Usually ends up as the designated driver

His smolness has the ability to turn hetero people gay

like legit some of the guys on his course swear they’re the biggest Bros™ but also wanna bang

no homo my fuckin ass smh

did I mention he has a fan club? cause he does

Or maybe it’s a cult?

On Valentines & White Day he is SWARMED with gifts from his self proclaimed lovers fans

Scorpio taste tests all the sweets to make sure they aren’t trying to drug his boi like the good friend he is

Dui can’t give gifts back to all of them but being the nice boi he is he still gifts the other 11

biggest and best gift goes to Krioff, his lowkey crush ofc

in conclusion: we all want to marry him and protect him from harm 💖💘✨

#scm #star crossed myth #scm ichthys #scm partheno #scm dui

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kinktae · 5 years

Note

How dare you bitchin!jungkook ?! HOW DARE YOU ?!

very NOT spoiler free bitchin’ 8 asks under the cut

Y/N SUPPORT GROUP

deliciouslydisturbed365 said: I just read chapter 8 and holy fuck I’m nauseous. Poor Y/N 😭

queen-emon said: What the literal FUCK man, I just read Bitchin 08 and like im so broken. I never ever consider Y/n and I to be the same person but this time I felt like we were the same person both getting our hearts crushed by the man we loved so dearly. I AM NOT OKAY WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO ME! THIS IS SO NOT GROOVY :(

Anonymous said: Me🤝y/n Repressing our emotions

madjammil said: I am legit crying. Poor y/n! I cannot believe Jungkook slept with Kiri! My heart is broken. I thought these two were finally getting together and he goes and does this dumb shit! Smh. Aside from that, your writing was amazing as always! I love this series so much!

YARA BULLY JK PETITIONERS

Anonymous said: omg i can’t believe jungkook is rly going to get his dickie chopped off 😍😍😍 deserve! can’t wait until yara finds out

Anonymous said: Ignore jk, y/n!!! Gosh she deserve so much better than a fboi who only cares about how he feels physically!! Ahole to the max and I need her to slap him! Yara can join along the slapping game!! But srsly he needs to learn his words alone can’t mend this and I hope y/n doesn’t give in so easily cuz he deserves cold shoulders from her for a very long time and don’t just rely on charms to get his way. Ik he was trouble from the start 😔 y/n dear don’t worry you deserve better

casualxexistence said: So 👉👈 um like is there like ANy chance that we get to see our baby yara’s reaction to this 🥺🥺🥺👼 bc um well I would kinda love to see her hand both jk and kiri there asses bc they aren’t gonna hAVE ANY AFTER SHE FINISHES WITH THEM RIP

Anonymous said: dude, what if y/n hooks up with tae and starts beef between jk and him while yara bitch slaps kiri….. dude bitchin’ has such good drama theories wtf literally anything is possible at this point

Anonymous said: if yara doesn’t punch kook can I punch him? Not as the oc I meant like me BECAUSE WHAT THE FUCK

forvever-ddaeng said: I keep rereading this last part like it’s somehow gonna change or it won’t make me sad the more I read it but it’s having the opposite effect and now I want Yara to beat Jungkook’s ass smh

Anonymous said: WTFFFFFFF YARA GONNA HUNT DOWN AND KICK JUNGKOOK ASS FOR HURTING HER BABY

JUNGKOOK ANTIS:

Anonymous said: what the fuck is wrong with bitchin’!jungkook does he think with his dick i wanna kick his ass

Anonymous said: why jungkook would do something like that if he likes y/n? i would be so mad at him too like… isn’t that kind of cheating? he didn’t say if he was back together with his ex but he slept with her so that must mean something, she probably thinks it means something. he was really stupid

omgtaehyungsmullett said: i know jungkook fucking with me, dammit 😡

Anonymous said: I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY WOULD JUNGKOOK DO THAT WHY

ausjeons said: Jungkook what the fuck!!! I could slap you silly after reading part 8 😪😩

Anonymous said: Team make jk suffer for awhile and then be able to patch things up with the oc 🤝

Anonymous said: I read ch8 last night and this weighed heavily on my mind all day like why is jk such a hoe? Like how could he just sleep with Kiri just like that. I think these children are very confuzzled with their feelings. After he slept with Kiri, did he rush to y/n bc he knew this was the end of their “relationship”? One last passionate banger goodbye 😟 my 💔 broken heart

Anonymous said: I ain’t even sad. I’m full on rage mode. WHO TF GAVE JK THE AUDACITY , THE ABSOLUTE BRAWN TO STICK HIS DICK IN KIRI AND THEN , NOT EVEN A FULL DAY LATER ( cuz yk that would be farrr too gracious ) WITHOUT A WARNING , WITHOUT A FRICKING GOOD MORNING EVEN , GOES TO FUCK OC AND THINKS THAT’S OKAY???? Good to know OC and whatever his relationship was with her was worth less than a nut😒

Anonymous said: i’m actually sad… like wow. i really expected him to go back, i really did. but even though i knew it’d happen, it still hurt, y’know? i think that made it worse; knowing that he’d go back to her in the end… shit’s fucked up, really. great job writing it. i could literally feel the emotion from this one.

Anonymous said: Bitchin ch 8…..oh wow the smut was so nice and fluffy but wtf JJK messed up big time. Honestly I don’t think he deserves oc after this. She deserves someone who isn’t so unsure of his feelings that it takes getting back together with and sleeping with someone else to realise it. If he really liked her, he wouldn’t have slept with Kiri.

Anonymous said: “ArE YOu MAd?” Srsly what brand of clown juice is Bitchin JJK drinking?

Anonymous said: TAE AND Y/N HOES BRO ENTER THE NEW SHIP FUCK JK

cchristinnaa said: Jk really did yn like a pocket pussy huh

Anonymous said: HOW COULD JUNGKOOK OH MY GOOODDDDDDDDDDD literally men aint SHIT….. the part where y/n said you got what you wanted from me🥺🥺🥺🥺 I FELT THAT ugh i love the angst

Anonymous said: Hope jk dieS from jealousy next ch. And regrets it skdhdhd :( jk. Hope they get their sht 2gether soon or im gon 😷😖😭

diortae said: me: *explaining to bitchin 8 jk why he’s a dick for calling Y/N his “pretty girl” immediately after fucking her raw the morning after he slept with his ex*

jk: well, you know what they say. hindsight is 20/20

me: KINDA SEEMS LIKE REGULAR SIGHT SHOULD HAVE CAUGHT THAT ONE

Anonymous said: JUNGKOOK IS ABOUT TO MEET THESE FISTS UP CLOSE THATS ON GOD THAT DUMBASS LIMP DICK BITCH REALLY FUCKED UP

Anonymous said: I HATE JJK HES AN ASS FOR GG DOWN ON 2WOMEN HE CAN JUS F HIMSELF RN

Anonymous said: JUNGKOOK IS GONNA GET HIS ASS BEATEN UGHSHHSKDHXJSJ MOTHERFUCKER WHAT? WHAT??? THIS BITCH IS A RIDE OR DIE AND UR GOING AFTER FAKEASS KIRI REALLY? FOR REAL I THOUGHT UOU WERE BETTER THAN THIS BUT NO ALL MEN DO IS LIE LIE LIE

Anonymous said: the way i closed the tumblr app when i saw jungkook saying “kiri came over last night”

Anonymous said: alright we beating jk’s ass @ noon 😤

Anonymous said: WHY WOULD JUNGKOOK DO THAT TO OC LIKE WHAT I AGREE WITH OC HE USED HER AND THAT MAKES ME 😡😡😡😡😡

Anonymous said: BITCHIN PART 8 WTFGGGG MY HEART Do be Hurting . i’m going to beat jungkook up !!!!

betysotelo18 said: It’s been a few minutes since I read part 8 and I can’t stop thinking about what could happen next… the meanwhile F U jeon Jungkook, you did wrong

Anonymous said: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! I CANT 😭 WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH THIS CHAPTER HUUUU JUNGKOOK WTFF BRO…….. my heart is breaking for them. Why can’t they just date already wkxbdbbdjdjdjdjdjdj this is onky misunderstanding right? and thankyou for the new chapter sis hihuhihih💕💕

Anonymous said: im shocked i dunno who i hate more rn you or jungkook. my heart is literally SHATTERED he better fix this or else im traveling to the 80s just to kick his ass 😭🤬

Anonymous said: never want to punch jungkook in the face like i wanna do right now

Anonymous said: JUNGKOOK WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUCK 🤬 for the love of god rose why do u did that to me i wanna die

Anonymous said: ROSE WTF WAS THAT MAN !!! my heart it hurts and like wtf jungpuke!! Why would he do that to reader !! why would he sleep with kiri and then sleep with reader ?!? Like go siekkeksjdjejjejdbehhe i wish i can put in reaction pictures in here

CUTIE PIES

Anonymous said: Omggg thank you so so much for this chapter, for the whole fic. Thank you for sharing it with us. You are a great writter. Seriously! I just love how every chapter is so intense. Not only the smut is amazing but every detail, every action, the whole plot, all of the dialogues. I actually cried at the end I love how I can really feel everything. All the emotions. Ah and they’re so cute!!! But why was JK so weak? Even if that’s what you wanted since the beginning… I thought- BOY WTF??? :’( But seriously this is the type of thing I love, I am WEAK for this. The slow burn, the oblivious idiots that love each other but keep suffering thing. And you write it so well. Your mind!!! Your talent!!! I love it. Thank you, for real ♥♥♥ I’m antecipating the next chapter, but already sad that it’s almost ending :((( I’m gonna miss this a lot. Anyways, take your time, baby. And have a nice day! ♥♥♥ (Sorry for bad english btw)

tinievmin said: ROSE. IM IN PAIN. I FELT THE BREAKUP BETWEEN YN AND JUNGKOOK. IM SO SADDD. But not related to the plot, your writing is ART. You always make it flow so well aND WOW!!! I don’t have enough words to express how much I love your works

AND FINALLY, AN INTELLECTUAL

Anonymous said: kiri is a bitch i said what i said

#ask

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recurring-polynya · 5 years

Note

Please tell me about Obidala UwU

Ha ha ha, you asked for it.

Okay, for starters, I am bisexual and all my OTPs consist of (1) dude who has basically the same personality as me but I would like to bone and (1) lady who is the sort of person I wish I was, whom I would also like to bone. The dude in a Polynya OTP is generally a member of some sort of strict order (cop, Jedi, shinigami) that he is deeply devoted to. He is super good at his job and works his ass off, but he is always the loyal lieutenant, never the main character and accepts this as his lot in life. He is neurotic. He drinks a lot of coffee, or whatever the appropriate fantasy equivalent is. The lady Goes Hard. She is tough as balls. She usually has a lot of political power and is very smart and will cut a bitch. Her aesthetic is off the chain; enormous, bizarre dresses a plus. I think you can see where I am going with this. Also, Ewan MacGregor and Natalie Portman are two incredibly good-looking people and amazing actors and they absolutely carried the Phantom Menace, which I saw, like, eight times in theaters.

Here is what would have happened if someone had hired me to write Episodes 2 and 3, which no one did, for some reason. So first off, in Episode 1, Amidala is 14, I think, Anakin is 10, and Obi-Wan is.. Jeez, I dunno. 17 maybe? 30? Who knows? Anyway, watch that movie and try to tell me that there is ~ any chance ~ that Amidala would fall for Anakin, especially when there is this hot apprentice Jedi hanging around having this tragic shit go down, and being stoic and oh, no, I’m getting misty. None of this matters. Amidala is the queen, she has shit to do, no time for dumb boys. Anakin is obviously immediately smitten with her, why wouldn’t he be? Okay, now I need, like, an interim episode 1.5, where Obi-Wan is trying to train Anakin, but he’s bad at it because he’s barely graduated himself and he’s really broken up over Qui-Gon’s death and also he’s an order muppet and Anakin is a chaos muppet, but they manage to work shit out and bond and become Force Bros. In fact, they are much more like brothers than having a traditional Master - Padawan relationship, but they are also absolute monsters at fighting together and even though Obi-Wan is still a wet-sock-rules-follower, Anakin is still very “fuck the police”. Cue episode 2, where they meet up with Amidala again. She’s retired from Queening (the rulership system on Naboo is bananas, srsly wtf) and they all go on an adventure. She is beauty, she is grace, she stabs a dude right in the face. The three of them are an absolute wrecking crew. Anakin is smitten all over again, except that Amidala and Obi-Wan have… all this… chemistry. But Obi-Wan is a rules follower, he knows he’s not supposed to fall in love and also, she’s a Galactic Senator, she’s way above his pay grade, and also, his best friend is in love with her, Obi-Wan Would Never. Amidala would definitely like to hit that, but she respects Obi-Wan’s weird morals and also, she cares a lot about both boys and does not want to mess things up between them. Episode ends with my three kids as Nakama with A Lot of Sexual Tension Floating Around.

Episode 3! Episode 3 is the absolute keystone of the Star Wars nonology (is that a word?) and it has to be stunning and the Episode 3 we got is a pile of cat vomit. Anakin needs to be a character that you love and care for and it absolutely breaks your heart when he goes to the dark side. And Palpatine would achieve this by tapping into Anakin’s tendency to hate the rules which is the one major philosophical difference he has with Obi-Wan, and also planting the seeds of the idea that Obi-Wan and Amidala are in love behind his back. Now, Obi-Wan is getting worried about Anakin, and he turns to Amidala, because he feels like she’s the only one who can get through to him. Sheev (Christ, I cannot get over that his name is Sheev) machinates things so that Anakin catches them “sneaking around behind his back” and the thing is, they haven’t been doing anything aside from trying to help him, except the fact is, they are actually in love and Anakin has basically already known this, and he has also always known that in some ways, he is the one who has stood in the way of his best friends being together and also he has a lot of Trauma and our boy loses his shit and takes a one-way trip to the Dark Side. I honestly never worked out what happened after that, but ngl, I feel like “hey, Luke, Vader wasn’t actually your dad after all” would have been a pretty amazing plot twist for Ep 5.

Is this the fanfiction I wrote? No. It is not. My sis and I had a series of stories where Anakin was having trouble fitting in at the Temple, and Obi-Wan gets special permission to take him off to some backwater planet to train him by themselves. It was basically a bunch of Obi-Wan is A Shitty Single Dad stories, featuring such gems as Anakin Joins a Boy Scout Troop and They Go Camping (Obi-Wan throws one of the other dads’ cell phones in a lake?) and Anakin Tries to Surreptitiously Pod-Race Without Obi-Wan Finding Out and oh God, there was one where they had to go back to the Temple for some sort of Padawan Talent Show featuring all of Obi-Wan’s friends who are now grown up and have their own apprentices? Eventually, we get to my masterpiece, where Amidala sends some letters to Obi-Wan and Anakin, and Anakin misinterprets something she says and thinks she’s gotten roped into an Arranged Marriage and feeling that Obi-Wan would not take this seriously enough, runs away to go save her. Obi-Wan, who is so, so tired, has to chase after him, and shortly after he gets to Naboo, Amidala actually does get roped into a political marriage with this absolute buffoon who was vaguely based on Kuno Tatewaki from Ranma ½. Hilarity, as one might expect, ensues. But, wait! There’s more! Close to the end of the story, Anakin has to run off and get the dude’s parents who have not at all approved this marriage and he tells Obi-Wan he has to stall the wedding. Obi-Wan blows this super hard by declaring, in a long, rambling fashion, that Amidala can’t marry this other guy, because he, Obi-Wan is in love with her. I then wrote a sequel, where this awful prince tries to get married to someone else. All these rich, royal people think that Amidala and Obi-Wan are together (and that they are super cute) so they decide they have to have a loud public break-up, except that someone straight-up gets murdered and then they have to solve the murder mystery and the whole time Anakin is wandering around going “can you guys please break up already?” Anyway, the bride turned out to be involved in the murder, so, once again, this bonehead prince has failed to get married, although somewhere along the line, he fell in love with one of Amidala’s handmaidens (I should note, the handmaidens in these stories are major characters and utter agents of chaos). Anyway, I got halfway through the third story in this series as well, where the prince and Amidala’s handmaiden get married, and Obi-Wan and Amidala try once again to break up and then are like “What if we… didn’t?” and I never finished it. I still have it around her somewhere. I am pretty sure all this nonsense is still floating around the internet… somewhere, but it was 19-friggin-99, so it’s got my real (maiden) name on it ::face palm:: so I’m not posting a link. If you deeply feel the need to read any of this nonsense (and I tell you, you do not), DM me.

The moral of this story is that I am still writing the same gonzo comedy-of-errors stories I wrote when I was eighteen, when I get around to re-writing WDKALY, you jerks are in for it.

#asks #my ideas are good #obidala #obi-wan kenobi #padme amidala #my sordid past

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jmespottuh · 5 years

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❛ if there’s one thing the gods love, it’s tragedy. with wings that burn and boys who fall. ❜

* ╰ brandon arreaga ; 17 ; he/him —— wow, james potter sure has changed. i guess he is feeling isolated from the other gryffindor members. guess you can’t really blame them. i still remember them being so charming & incisive now they just seem dependent & inexorable. guess being a pureblood isn’t helping matters much either. i’m hopeful though. they’ll be just fine.

links: pinterest, stats character parallels: bellamy blake ( the 100 ), shane madej ( buzzfeed unsolved ), jake peralta ( brooklyn nine-nine ), stefan salvatore ( the vampire diaries ), scott mccall ( teen wolf ), steve harrington ( stranger things )

james henry potter ( named for two his two grandfathers, maternal and paternal respectively ) was born on april 4th, 1960 to two of the most loving parents a child could have.

fleamont and euphemia had been trying for a child for years. they’d been together for basically all of time, having been that typical good-looking, well liked couple in hogwarts that everyone always just assumes will get married ( spoiler alert: they did ), however had had to postpone kids due to fleamont’s brief stint as a professional quidditch player for eight years following their graduation. after that, they would try every month for a child, and after many years of disappointment, eventually gave up. it was during this time that fleamont developed the sleekeazy hair potion which only added to their immense wealth.

finally at age forty-one, they were surprised with the arrival of james. obviously, they saw him as their miracle child, and as such he was pampered and completely spoiled from the moment he was born.

i cannot stress enough how much this spoiled upbringing shaped james into the person he is today. if you’re wondering why he was ever an arrogant prick, it’s because he was always used to getting absolutely everything he ever wanted. he grew up with money, he grew up with fame and with every bit of attention he could garner, and so it was really no wonder he was a bit of an asshole by the time he started at hogwarts.

obviously, james had a pretty cushy childhood, and as such, shit didn’t start getting real until he started at hogwarts.

it took all of three seconds for the hat to sort him into gryffindor, and i guess you could say he pretty much considered himself to be the gem of the house. he was the absolute epitome of a gryffindor, basically considered him the poster boy and all but expected everyone to love him.

really did not help his ego to know that everyone did.

in typical sterotype-gryffindor fashion, james hated slytherin. he had always been taught growing up that purists were basically the root of all evil, and his father had had no qualms in lumping all these people in with the house of the snakes. james and his friends took a particular disliking to severus snape almost immediately for the poncy way in which he seemed to believe he was superior to all for his intelligence and his house status, and this dislike only grew when lily evans was tossed into the mix, too.

for basically the first four or five years of hogwarts, james really was that stereotypical arrogant asshole that he’s often made out to be. he always got everything he asked for, he was incredibly popular and incredibly intelligent, he had the most amazing friends and his eyes on the most amazing girl. he was set!! shit was good!!

shit was not good, though. definitely was not.

despite having known of remus’ furry little problem since second year, things didn’t really start to settle in james how awful it was until third or fourth year. he hated seeing his friend in pain, he hated that he couldn’t help, and so he rallied the boys to put into action their worst plan yet!!!!

becoming animagi!!!!!!

it took fucking forever, obviously, but by the end of fourth year they did it!! we stan icons

except then in fifth year shit hit the fan again in just, like… so many ways

first, it was the whole severus ‘mudblood’ situation. honestly, james was absolutely furious. he’d always hated snape but this just made everything 1000 times worse. even if it had happened to anyone else, he would have been fuming. but for it to have happened to lily like… yikes.

this was also a horrible time for james though because lily rejected him for the thousandth time. like, look, what a yikes thing to think when she was just called a mudblood, but frankly he was sick of being rejected and he was sick of being the asshole who kept pressuring her so that was the breaking point — he gave up on her.

and tbh, he changed a lot from here on out. grew up!! became a better person bc he saw how horrible snap was and decided he was sick of horrible people!! saw, recognised and acknowledged that just bc he was hot and intelligent and rich he wasn’t always going to get everything he wanted ( see: miss evans ) and just generally learned that oh shit the world doesn’t revolve around him!!!

oh and then there was that whole thing with sirius and snape and remus the werewolf and ohhhh boyyyy…. that infuriated him.

he loves his bros so much and y’all know he would die for them, but to see his friend abuse remus’ pain and suffering for his own gain was heart wrenching. it just pushed him further to pull him in line, to realise that not everything was about games, or petty rivalry, or ‘ getting the girl ’ — life was heartache and mistakes and it was never going to go the way he wanted it to.

now look, this isn’t all to say that james is now a super strict, super intense, brooding weirdo. he’s still a bit of a child, and he’s still a bit of an arrogant prick, but ultimately what wins out is his morals — every time. he wants to lead the world to a better place, without war and without hate, he wants everyone to have the same opportunities he had as a kid and he wants nothing more than for blood purity to be eradicated.

get that shit outta my house!!! gross!!!!!!

now in his final year, james is always flipping between taking his role as head boy deadly serious and turning it into one big game of mischief. he’s still a marauder at heart, after all, and has definitely abused his power sometimes for the benefit of fun and games, but when it comes down to it, he can be very strict and lowkey paternal. the leader really just…. popped right outta him, it came to play and it came hard, and really you’d think he’s minister for magic with how serious he treats it sometimes.

i hate him.

the disappearance of one of his best friends, one peter pettigrew, landed james to flop pretty fucking hard on the side of seriousness. once you spend months without knowing where your best friend is, thinking he’s dead, you’re bound to start to lose a bit of that which once made you smile. it was this piled on top of what james had already been feeling which led the head boy to start finding ways he could join the revolution within the walls of hogwarts --- it’s been bloody hard but james is determined to make a difference, to make sure no one else he loves suffers in a war that they never asked to fight in the first place.

anyway here’s some fun facts that didn’t fit up top

james is a lot less intense with his hatred for slytherin’s. he has come to recognise that not everyone from that lifestyle is going to be the same, not everyone who grew up a certain way or was sorted into a certain house is going to think with a deadly mind, and while he’s still a bit wary, he’s a lot more relaxed about it, especially as head boy ( gotta at least pretend shit’s fair !!! )

he’s very dependent as in like… boi cannot go a week without his friends. he is used to having people to bounce off, that’s always the type of leader he has been, and as much as he would probably be amazing at anything on his own, he’s never really tried. too scared!! i hate him!!!!!

super unforgiving. like, if you have gotten on his bad side…. i’m sorry. it is going to be very difficult to return from there. his moral compass is pretty black and white, you’re either good or your bad, and if you’ve done something he considers bad well sucks to be you, i guess. sorry not sorry.

takes his quidditch very seriously tbh. so many people have told him he needs to be a pro like his dad, but he’s like haha fuck you i know what i wanna do ( hint hint: he wants to rule that goddamn auror office, make that shit far more efficient then he thinks it is now ). but srsly, he’s so intense abt the game and it really like… idk gets him in the zone, keeps him level-headed in amongst all this chaos.

he’s smart. i guess. straight a’s and shit idk. just very naturally intelligent, finds everything he does easy, like.. really is that asshole who is just good at everything he does.

#incantareintro #| ❛ the shackles of a martyr. ❜ ( character study. )#enjoy this rambly mess of a recycled intro that most of yall have read before fsjaklg

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stagjmes · 5 years

Text

❛ if there’s one thing the gods love, it’s tragedy. with wings that burn and boys that fall. ❜

—wait a second, is that HIM, the PUREBLOOD sorted into GRYFFINDOR house? their name is JAMES POTTER but they share a startling likeness with AUBREY JOSEPH. in their SEVENTH YEAR, they’re known as the SHEPHERD, probably because they are CHARMING but DEPENDENT. i wonder what side they’ll end up on at the end.

james henry potter ( named for two his two grandfathers, maternal and paternal respectively ) was born on april 4th, 1960 to two of the most loving parents a child could have.

obviously, james had a pretty cushy childhood, and as such, shit didn’t start getting real until he started at hogwarts.

really did not help his ego that everyone did

shit was not good, though. definitely was not.

becoming animagi!!!!

it took fucking forever, obviously, but by the end of fourth year they did it!! we stan icons

except then in fifth year shit hit the fan again in just, like… so many ways

oh and then there was that whole thing with sirius and snape and Remus the Werewolf and ohhhh boyyyy…. that infuriated him.

he loves his bros so much and y’all know he would die for them, but to see his friend abuse remus’ pain and suffering for his own gain was heart wrenching. it just pushed him further to pull him in line, to realise that not everything was about games, or petty rivalry, or ‘ getting the girl ’ — life heartache and mistakes and it was never going to go the way he wanted it to.

now look, this isn’t all to say that james is now a Super Strict, Super Intense, Brooding Weirdo. he’s still a bit of a child, and he’s still a bit of an arrogant prick, but ultimately what wins out is his morals — every time. he wants to lead the world to a better place, without war and without hate, he wants everyone to have the same opportunities he had as a kid and he wants nothing more than for blood purity to be eradicated.

get that shit outta my house!!! gross!!!!!!

I hate him

he’s a lot less intense with his hatred for slytherin’s. he has come to recognise that not everyone from that lifestyle is going to be the same, not everyone who grew up a certain way or was sorted into a certain house is going to think with a deadly mind, and while he’s still a bit wary, he’s a lot more relaxed about it, especially as head boy ( gotta at least pretend shit’s fair !!! )

ok i’m so tired this is abt to turn into a rambling mess

uHhhHHh he’s very dependent as in like… boi cannot go a week without his friends. he is used to having people to bounce off, that’s always the type of leader he has been, and as much as he would probably be amazing at anything on his own, he’s never really tried. too scared!! i hate him!!!!!

i don’t know what im saying anymore pls send help

uhhhhh he’s smart. i guess. straight a’s and shit idk. just very naturally intelligent, finds everything he does easy, like.. really is that asshole who is just good at everything he does.

i’ve run out of things to say, pls just love him

#incendiointro #| ❛ the shackles of a martyr. ❜ ( character study. )#sorry for this absolute trash bag of a recycled intro

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ofprcngs · 6 years

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BRANDON ARREAGA — Well, if it isn’t JAMES POTTER, the GRYFFINDOR superstar. For those of you who don’t know HIM, you can spot them sitting with the other SEVENTH years. Most people think that they’re CHARMING and INCISIVE, but they can also seem pretty DEPENDENT and INEXORABLE. Sometimes people call them the SHEPHERD. Sure, they’re a PUREBLOOD, but that doesn’t define them.

i literally have 0 explanation for why i did this other than i’m in love with him. but also, he’s a mess, so jot that down. if you wanna know more about him ( protip: don’t ) then i recommend checking out his pinterest and then i dunno.... contemplate why i’m a punk ass bitch, i guess. enjoy this mess. plot with me. ily.

james henry potter ( named for two his two grandfathers, maternal and paternal respectively ) was born on april 4th, 1960 to two of the most loving parents a child could have.

obviously, james had a pretty cushy childhood, and as such, shit didn’t start getting real until he started at hogwarts.

really did not help his ego to know that everyone did.

shit was not good, though. definitely was not.

becoming animagi!!!!!!

it took fucking forever, obviously, but by the end of fourth year they did it!! we stan icons

except then in fifth year shit hit the fan again in just, like... so many ways

oh and then there was that whole thing with sirius and snape and Remus the Werewolf and ohhhh boyyyy.... that infuriated him.

he loves his bros so much and y’all know he would die for them, but to see his friend abuse remus’ pain and suffering for his own gain was heart wrenching. it just pushed him further to pull him in line, to realise that not everything was about games, or petty rivalry, or ‘ getting the girl ’ --- life heartache and mistakes and it was never going to go the way he wanted it to.

now look, this isn’t all to say that james is now a Super Strict, Super Intense, Brooding Weirdo. he’s still a bit of a child, and he’s still a bit of an arrogant prick, but ultimately what wins out is his morals --- every time. he wants to lead the world to a better place, without war and without hate, he wants everyone to have the same opportunities he had as a kid and he wants nothing more than for blood purity to be eradicated.

get that shit outta my house!!! gross!!!!!!

now in his final year, james is always flipping between taking his role as head boy deadly serious and turning it into one big game of mischief. he’s still a marauder at heart, after all, and has definitely abused his power sometimes for the benefit of fun and games, but when it comes down to it, he can be very strict and lowkey paternal. the leader really just.... popped right outta him, it came to play and it came hard, and really you’d think he’s minister for magic with how serious he treats it sometimes.

i hate him.

ok i’m so tired this is abt to turn into a rambling mess

uHhhHHh he’s very dependent as in like... boi cannot go a week without his friends. he is used to having people to bounce off, that’s always the type of leader he has been, and as much as he would probably be amazing at anything on his own, he’s never really tried. too scared!! i hate him!!!!!

super unforgiving. like, if you have gotten on his bad side.... i’m sorry. it is going to be very difficult to return from there. his moral compass is pretty black and white, you’re either good or your bad, and if you’ve done something he considers bad wELL sucks to be you, i guess. sorry not sorry.

takes his quidditch very seriously tbh. so many people have told him he needs to be a pro like his dad, but he’s like haha fuck you i know what i wanna do ( hint hint: he wants to rule that goddamn auror office, make that shit far more efficient then he thinks it is now ). but srsly, he’s so intense abt the game and it really like... idk gets him in the zone, keeps him level-headed in amongst all this chaos.

i don’t know what im saying anymore pls send help

uhhhhh he’s smart. i guess. straight a’s and shit idk. just very naturally intelligent, finds everything he does easy, like.. really is that asshole who is just good at everything he does.

i’ve run out of things to say, pls just love him

WANTED CONNECTIONS

girlfriend: i hate to expose myself as a whole ass jily stan but... here i am i guess. but also, listen: he really thinks he’s over her right now. like, he truly believes his days of pestering lily evans are behind him. it was just a crush! it’s gone! ( spoiler alert: it’s not ) BUT he is so convinced that he has got himself into this relationship which is really just... a mess. like highkey it’s obvious he could never fully love her bc his Heart Belongs to Lily or whatever but he does care for her deeply and has tricked himself into believing it’s love. it’s hard, man. he’s confused. send help.

ex-girlfriend(s): more of above but like... less intense? or more intense! who knows, frankly.

childhood friend(s): i’d die for childhood friends. jake/gina dynamic? iconic. just anything, really.

odd friend: ok like... as i mentioned, he’s still kinda wary of slytherins and ppl who grew up in purist culture, but i would love love love to see someone who was one of the first to show him that not all those people are so bad. like someone from a purist family or the like who was just chill and friendly and actually befriended this asshole even when he was... well, an asshole. it’d be fun, ig. also if they eventually do end up recruited for the de’s bc of family stuff or whatever... bonus points.

rivals: i’m tired. you understand.

#novum:intro #you guys this is... such a mess #im gunna regret posting this in the morning #oh well!!#here we are ig!!!!!!

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padfootdidit · 7 years

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burn through my soul

a fyre festival au because i have 0 chill, set in the ‘marble hearts collide’ universe bc ria asked for like an 80k companion fic, and because 36 of you seemed to like the idea. basically: it’s half fyre and half ust denial jily and a Big Mess.

for @gxldentrio @petalstofish who asked for more and @fredweasleying who supports james and sirius’ stupidity

most of my info is off the snapchat stories, articles and tweets but i’ve also done a lot of exaggerating, so take all reference to the festival with a bit of salt

It’s Sirius’ idea because, if it involves a stupid waste of money and the promise of celebrity chefs, it will always be his idea. And, because it’s Sirius’ idea, James is in.

“It’s ridiculous,” Lily says, scrolling through the festival’s instagram.

“No, it’s luxury,” Sirius says and snatches his phone back, “you wouldn’t understand.”

Remus raises an eyebrow, “she practically lives with you, I think she understands what luxury is.”

“And waste of money,” Peter adds, helpfully.

“I can’t believe I let any of you into my house, when you’ve just come to insult me!” Sirius pouts, throwing himself dramatically back on the chaise.

“Criticise your money spending habits,” Remus corrects, and just manages to dodge a throw pillow Sirius launches at him.

‘What does Potter think, anyway?” Lily asks, looking down at her own phone.

“Why does Potter’s opinion matter?” Sirius retorts.

Lily is definitely avoiding eye contact, “It doesn’t.”

There’s a murmur of disbelief, and Lily scowls at her phone, knowing that if she looks up she’ll be accosted by five raised eyebrows, because only Sirius has learnt how to raise both separately.

“But, seriously, when is Prongs back?”

“Well, Moony, funny you should ask...” Sirius smirks, “he arrived last night.”

Lily’s head shoots up, “but -”

“But what Evans, not happy to see me?” A voice comes from the doorway, and they all turn to see James leaning, not as gracefully as Sirius would have, against the doorjamb with a smirk to match Sirius’ on his face.

“How long have you guys been planning that?” Peter asks, and he’s not as fast as Remus so a throw pillow hits him in the stomach.

Remus laughs, “probably longer than they’ve been planning this festival bullshit.”

“Losers,” Lily mutters, finally looking away from James, pretending that her phone screen is more interesting than the bit of chest his loosely tied dressing gown shows.

James Potter to lily evans’ home for peculiar children: we made it to the airport folks

Remus Lupin: shame

Sirius Black: fight me bitch

Lily Evans: we thought ur chauffeur might crash on purpose

James Potter: why would he do that???

Sirius Black: i dont have a chauffeur

Sirius Black: i have wesley

Peter Pettigrew: who is a chauffeur

Sirius Black: no he’s my driver

Remus Lupin: difference?

James Potter: more importantly tho

James Potter: he would never crash on purpose

Lily Evans: he would if he thought it might shut u up

Sirius Black: y would anyone want to shut us up

James Potter: yeah

Sirius Black: thanks bro

James Potter: i got ur back bro dw

Remus Lupin removed Sirius Black from the group

Remus Lupin removed James Potter from the group

Lily Evans changed Remus Lupin’s nickname to our lord and saviour

“Do you think they’re there yet?” Lily says, watching Remus as he methodically searches through Sirius’ drinks tray.

“I think we would know if they were,” Peter answers drily.

Remus pauses to inspect a label closely, “Pete’s right, we’ll know.”

“Missing them already?”

“Fuck off,” Lily scowls, “just want to ask Sirius his netflix password.”

“You don’t know already?” Remus says at the same time Peter says, “bitchbetterhavemymoney, capital B.”

Lily frowns, “he told you? He doesn’t tell anyone.”

“Correction, he told James, and it’s way easier to bribe James than Sirius,” Peter smiles triumphantly.

“I swear you use it all the time? Remus asks, setting down the bottle in favour for a shorter, fatter one.

“He logs in for me and then makes me log off afterwards,” Lily says, rolling her eyes.

“Here we go,” Remus stands, presenting a bottle of scotch to Peter and Lily, who are cuddled up together beneath a blanket on the sofa, and grins, “the most expensive bottle.”

“Are you sure?”

“Because, last time you said it was and then he came back and told us it was only his third most expensive one and -”

“I’m sure,” Remus says, interrupting Lily. “Not only is it the most expensive bottle on the living room’s tray,” he gestures around the room they’re in, “it’s also more expensive than anything in the drawing room.”

Lily Evans to ovaries before madame brovary: remus found it

Lily Evans: party @ 10

Mary MacDonald: should i bring snacks

Gemma Jones: ahhahaha gd one

Mary MacDonald: thank you <33

Lily Evans: he’s put a padlock on the chocolate cupboard but the pantry is full

Marlene McKinnon: I can’t believe we know someone who has a pantry

Lily Evans: shameful isn’t it

James Potter changed the group name to WASSUUUUUP

Sirius Black: blocked

James Potter: u said u liked it???

Sirius Black: yh i lied

James Potter: fight me bitch

Peter Pettigrew: ur plane didn’t crash then

James Potter: landed safe and sound

Remus Lupin: shame

Lily Evans: have they showered u in gold bars yet

Peter Pettigrew: have they got a red carpet for u all

Remus Lupin: are all the other rich ppl as rich as u

Lily Evans: have u had a competition to see whos richest

Peter Pettigrew: i bet the toilet had tenner notes for paper

Remus Lupin: more like fifties

James Potter: u all suck

Sirius Black: they’re just jealous bb

Lily Evans: but srsly

Lily Evans: what’s it like

James Potter: amazing

Sirius Black: the beach is beautiful the people are beautiful the tents are beautiful

James Potter: it’s like a rich persons dream

Remus Lupin: u, as a rich person, cannot make rich ppl jokes

Lily Evans: ***rich bitch

Lily Evans: check ur privilege potter

Sirius Black: says the white girl

James Potter: checkmate

Lily Evans: point

Peter Pettigrew: have u seen a jenner yet

Remus Lupin: is the only available beverage pepsi

Lily Evans: ^^^the real question

Sirius Black: WHY THE FUCK DID MCKINNON JUST SEND ME A SNAPCHAT OF HER IN MY BATH

Peter Pettigrew: i’ll ask her

Peter Pettigrew: she says it was for the vine

Sirius Black: WHY THE FUCK IS SHE IN MY BATH

Sirius Black: GET HER OUT OF MY BATH

Sirius Black: u r having another party aren’t u ohMYGOD

Lily Evans: brb

Remus Lupin: idk i can’t read suddenly

Peter Pettigrew: gtg sorry bye

Sirius Black: TRAITORS

“What if James finds, like an heiress though? What are you going to do then?” Tegan asks, leaning so far across the table Lily can see down her shirt.

“Potter can do what he wants,” Lily shrugs, “why do I care?”

“Because you’re in love with him,” Marlene says, high-fiving Mary.

Lily downs the rest of her wine glass, “factually incorrect.” Factually incorrect meaning unwilling to admit the truth.

Gemma shakes her head, “how could you not be in love with him?”

“Very easily,” Lily snatches the bottle from Mary’s hand and pours herself another drop. Drop meaning entire glass. “It’s like this,” she pauses to take a sip, “you guys are projecting your fantasies on to me-”

“Oh, no no no!” She’s drowned out by cries of protest and drinks the rest of her glass as a distraction. Drinking red wine is so easy when she’s already drunk.

Thankfully, she’s saved from any more discussion about a particular black haired man by Peter sprinting in the room, skidding to a halt with his phone held out in front of him, “Have you seen this?”

Fyre Festival Goes Up in Flames

The luxury beach festival due to be held this weekend in the Bahamas has begun but, unlike the promotional videos, there is nothing luxury about it. Festival goers who arrived early have been reporting rabid dogs, empty tents, and not a single celebrity in sight.

Snapchat videos and tweets show people arriving to what some have described as the ‘season finale of the Walking Dead’. Inside the tents, which are being fought over as we speak, empty mattresses and tables which look like they’re from IKEA are stand ins for the promised ‘5 star accommodation’. Since festival go-oers paid between $2,000 and $12,000 for this, it’s understandable that they’re annoyed.

Reportedly, celebrities who promoted the festival, such as the Jenner sisters, Bella Hadid and other supermodels/quasi-celebrities, were warned not to attend in advance of the festival.

Lily Evans to the lord of the flies just got Real: hahahahhahahahahaahhahah

Remus Lupin: anything u want to tell us lads

Peter Pettigrew: we kno that u r online

James Potter: what are u talking about

Remus Lupin: “”””the beach is beautiful the people are beautiful the tents are beautiful”””””

Lily Evans: http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/39743303/luxury-fyre-festival-is-cancelled-with-ticket-holders-still-stranded-in-bahamas

Sirius Black: technically

Sirius Black: i only lied abt the tents

Lily Evans: firstly...... are u guys okay?

James Potter: yh

James Potter: pissed off n hungry but yh

Sirius Black: i’m gonna sue

Lily Evans: secondly

Lily Evans: ahahahahahhahhahah

Peter Pettigrew: what a scam

Sirius Black: they lost my gucci suitcase

Remus Lupin: shame

Sirius Black removed Remus Lupin from the group

Peter Pettigrew: are u gonna start eating each other

Lily Evans added Remus Lupin to the group

Lily Evans: r they dividing u into groups to fight to the death

Sirius Black left the group

The thing is, Lily isn’t in love with James. She knows what love looks like. Her parents were in love, Petunia loves Vernon (not that Lily understands why), Frank and Alice are in love, Marlene and Tegan are in love. She has seen love. It’s holding hands and forehead kisses and long trips away to the beach and getting a dog together and sharing interests and watching tv all day in pyjamas and sharing bank accounts and smiling when the other person isn’t looking and wanting to spend the rest of your life together and having inside jokes and knowing as much as possible about the other person and knowing that no matter what you’re always safe with them.

And sure, she and Potter have a lot of inside jokes, but she has a lot of inside jokes with Peter too. And sure, they’ve spent all day watching tv together, but never on the same piece of furniture. And sure, if she needs help she goes to Potter, and if she’s sad she rings him, and if she sees a funny otter video she sends it to him, but that’s how it’s always been, and sometimes she goes to Sirius too. Plus, they don’t have a puppy together and Lily is pretty certain they’ve never held hands. So, really, she can’t be in love with James.

The conclusion is a good one, Lily thinks as she finishes her third glass of wine (third really meaning ninth) and allows herself to pay attention to the others again. It’s difficult to play charades when she’s distracted by the thought of being in love with James Potter, but now she’s cleared that one up, it’s easy to guess that Remus is acting out National Treasure 2.

Sirius Black to Lily Evans: u better not let anyone in my bedroom

Lily Evans: locked

LIly Evans: dw

Sirius Black: stop having parties w/out me

Lily Evans: stop locking away all the good booze when we have parties w u

Sirius Black: point

Peter Pettigrew to mckinnon just threw up in the bathtub: hows the prison food

Sirius Black: did mckinnon acc throw up in the bathtub????

Sirius Black: which one

Sirius Black: the red room?? downstairs guest ensuite?? MINE??!1?

James Potter: better than evans’ cooking

Sirius Black: wHICH BATHTUB

Remus Lupin: lily would like to say that “””if i had any energy to waste in replying to potters insult then i would remind him that euphemia said i was a better cook that him””””

Sirius Black: pSTOP IGROING ME

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: Betrayal

Dear Mother,

Evans told me that you said she was a better cook than me. Just emailing to check that you would never betray me like this.

Love,

Your son,

James

Sent from my iPhone

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: RE: Betrayal

James darling,

Please don’t use the company’s email for personal matters, you know it annoys everyone.

Lily’s cooking is a delight. It’s not a betrayal if it’s a fact.

Love,

Mother

P.S Your father told me that festival you’re at turned out to be a bit of a disaster. Are you planning on coming home?

Lily Evans to James Potter: i CANNOT believe u emailed ur mym

Lily Evans: acc i take that back

Lily Evans: I CAN U LOSER

James Potter: u r durnk

Lily Evans: n u arent?????

James Potter: ppl r looting

James Potter: kinda scary shit

Lily Evans: dont let any1 steal sirius

Lily Evans: hed go for a Lot on the black market

Lily Evans: aahahaah

Lily Evans: brb gptta share my pun w// the group

James Potter: we’ve booked a flight for tomorrow afternoon

James Potter: gun get wasted on beach tomox

Lily Evans: legendz

James Potter: didnt cum to the bahamas not to get a tan

Lily Evans: cum ha

Lily Evans: u r permanentnly tanned?????

James Potter: ik

James Potter: just wanted to remind u that im in the bahamas n u r not

Lily Evans: blocked

Marlene and Tegan get the downstairs guest room, Remus and Peter crash in the extension Sirius constantly denies he added so they could have their own rooms, Mary and Gemma take the upstairs guest room which Lily usually sleeps in, which means Lily is left with five choices. She could share with Mary and Gemma because it’s a king sized bed, but Gemma snores. She could sleep in one of the other two guest rooms, but she’s pretty sure one of them is haunted, and the other one has a broken bed from when Alice and Frank stayed around last week. Which leaves her with Potter’s room. Unless she really wants to picklock Sirius’ and risk facing his wrath.

It’s an easy choice really. Potter’s room is sans snoring, sans ghost and sans broken bed. Lily nods to herself, and walks up the staircase, waving a middle finger at Mary and Gemma when she passes their open door. The gits.

Potter isn’t even here. It’s not like she’s sharing a bed with him.

Lily shivers at the thought.

She shuts the door behind her and climbs into the bed, definitely not looking at the millions of framed photographs he has on his bedside table. One of him and the boys back at boarding school, arms looped around each other, smiles wide. Mary had taken that one, the day they all finished their GCSEs. One of him and his parents, at their vow renewal service, James and Fleamont towering over Euphemia. One of him and a bunch of kids all sat on a hospital bed, a sign above the bed saying ‘thank you!’. One of him with Graham Norton, both looking too excited. One of him and Sirius, young, really young, looking almost identical. One of him and all of them, taken by Euphemia at his twenty first birthday party, just before Remus threw up all over everyone’s shoes. One of him and -

Lily squints, leaning out of the bed to look at the one tucked away at the back, almost hidden. Fuck, it’s her. It’s them. She remembers it. It meaning the moment that landed them in seven gossip magazine, too many online columns, and one list of the hottest couples this month. It was one of his charity balls, for mental illness she remembers, one filled with celebrities and champagne trays and tiny snacks which would never satisfy any normal human being.

They’re standing on a balcony, London spread out before them. They hadn’t noticed a photographer, or anyone, because they’d been too busy discussing the pros and cons of making a rope out of Lily’s dress to escape. Potter had suggested tying it to the balcony, climbing down and hailing a cab. He was kidding of course, because he loved these things, because it meant he got to talk about all the causes he loved and everyone had to at least pretend they were listening or their photograph would be splashed beneath a headline which read ‘B List Celebrity Hates Kids’, depending on which cause the ball was for that month.

But Lily, Lily who had grown up in a mining village and worked for every penny she had, still wasn’t used to these balls even after five years of them. She loved the glamour and she could pull off confidence easily, she just didn’t like that she could never tell if people actually cared or not.

So Potter, ever kind, had gone along with her escape plan, coming up with more pros then even she could manage. Then the flash had gone off and they’d jumped, quickly returning inside because James had to make a speech. Or something.

The photograph hadn’t captured their shock though. It had caught her laughing, bright and full, and him smiling, kind and soft, and really, they did look like a couple. They were standing too close, looking too happy to not. Except they weren’t, and the group had had to spend the next three weeks batting away reporters about who was the stunning red head who had captured humanitarian James Potter’s heart. Then it had died down, and everyone had forgotten about the picture, even Lily.

It shocks her that it’s there, on his bedside table. Makes something burst in her chest, a rogue party popper.

So, instead of confronting all the thoughts that pop into her when she sees the picture, like a rational adult, she rolls over, buries beneath the silk sheets and promptly goes to sleep.

James Potter to can someone tell me which bathtub please??: so someone recognised sirius

James Potter: so now he’s trying to make a raft

James Potter: out of his remaining gucci luggage

Remus Lupin: let me know if he drowns

James Potter: why is no one recognising me

James Potter: my achievements way out rank his

Peter Pettigrew: yh but you’re not a black

Peter Pettigrew: n u’ve never been in a commercial for toothpaste

James Potter: im a potter tho

Remus Lupin: plus u’ve never been pictured naked in the sun

James Potter: point

Lily Evans: shhhh stop buxxing my phone

James Potter: mary told me u were sleeping in my bed

James Potter: u better not have chundered in there

Lily Evans: brb gtg kill mary

James Potter sent a video.

James Potter: if u evr wanted to kno what sirius screams sound like when he gets his hair wet

Remus Lupin: did he fall in??

James Potter: some tit capsized him

Remus Lupin: brilliant

@DailyProphet The Daily Prophet

[30/04] Pictured: minor celebrities, James Potter and Sirius Black, are among first to leave Fyre Festival, boarding a flight back to England this afternoon.

Remus Lupin to which fucking bathtub was it: have you heard the news?

Remus Lupin changed Sirius Black’s nickname to minor celebrity.

minor celebrity: blocked

Lily Evans to Remus Lupin: did u get the banner yet

Remus Lupin: i cant believe we r throwing them a welcome home party

Remus Lupin: they were gone for like three days

Lily Evans: but they survived a disaster remus

Lily Evans: a disaster™

Lily Evans: a travesty™

Remus Lupin: i got the banner

Remus Lupin: what r we adding to it

Lily Evans: i want it to read ‘welcome home minor celebrities’

Remus Lupin: padfoot is never gonna let u in his house again

Lily Evans: we both know that isn’t true

Remus Lupin: point

James Potter to it was all the bathtubs: we landed safely

Remus Lupin: shame

Peter Pettigrew: u better have bought us some souvenirs

James Potter: does duty free count

Peter Pettigrew: blocked

“Surprise!” They all yell, as James and Sirius step through the door, their bags brought in moments later by Wesley. James jumps, looking satisfyingly surprised, whereas Sirius just scowls and turns to help Wesley with the remaining suitcases. Clearly, their antics were old by now.

“Here are your disaster survival kits,” Tegan says, offering them two first aid kits which Peter had filled with tiny vodka bottles, rape whistles and Finding Nemo water proof plasters. James accepts both, Sirius just leading Wesley through to the kitchen.

It’s not long before they’re all at least tipsy again, Sirius having finished his temper tantrum over a) the amount of booze they drank and b) the fact that McKinnon had never actually thrown up in a bathtub at all. Lily finds it especially easy to get drunk, probably because she starts drinking whenever James tries to talk to her.

She’s not sure why, but she suspects it has something to do with the photograph. The photograph which she keeps seeing in her head, framed next to his bed. So, every time he comes near her, she brings her glass or bottle to her mouth and refuses to make eye contact.

A successful technique with Potter, but no one else and it isn’t long before Sirius has her cornered, having spotted her new found avoidance scheme.

“You throw us a party, but won’t even talk to one of the special guests,” he says, swirling his scotch around the glass, “would you care to comment?”

“I prefer A-listers to minor celebrities,” she says before she can think of anything else, and because she knows Sirius is still sore about it.

“If you would just stop, and listen to one of us, you know you’d be so much happier,” he sighs.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Lily says, and promptly turns her back on him.

James Potter to Lily Evans: mum wants to know if you’re coming over for sunday lunch

Lily Evans: when dont i

James Potter: point

Lily Evans: u recovered from ur traumatic time yet

James Potter: not sure

James Potter: thinking of setting up a charity for everyone who went

Lily Evans: omg ive got a rlly good name for it!!

Lily Evans: trust fund

Lily Evans: oh wait..........

@DailyProphet The Daily Prophet

[01/05] We would like to apologise to anyone who may have found insult in one of yesterday’s tweets concerning the Fyre Festival. A redaction has now been approved: “Pictured: Celebrities, James Potter and Sirius Black, are among first to leave Fyre Festival, boarding a flight back to England this afternoon.”

552 notes · View notes

winsister91 · 7 years

Text

Ignore this post

Seriously, it’s just another crappy questionnaire, butijustfuckinglovedoingthemsohelpmegodARGH.

blame @arcturuz for tagging me :P

You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say?

Well...this is awkward. Hello boss!

What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?

I’ve trapped him and he’ll never escape my clutches 0_0

If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?

THAT IS VERY NAUGHTY, gimme some.

Is your last name longer than six letters?

....seemingly not!

Was your last kiss drunk or sober?

boringly sober

Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?

probably

What does your last received text say?

“Cheers Sam”

How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?

Many.

Where was your last kiss at?

Our living room :3

When is the last time you saw your sister?

Don’t have a sis

What do you drink in the morning?

Coffee/tea/energy drink

Where did you sleep last night?

IIn my bed?

Do you think relationships are hard?

Can be, but if it’s right you’ll make it work!

If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?

Go to an NHS dentist rather than the convenient private one over the road, GOODBYE MONEY

You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?

He steals my cigarettes.

Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?

Raaaaaain <3

Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?

Yes! Jayne is common as muck.

Are you wearing jeans, sweatpants, or pajama pants?

Jammies :3

Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?

I fucking hope so. I changed the locks so he can’t get out.

Does anyone like you?

Probably not. But fuck it!

Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?

eeeeeeeer....yes!

Is the last person you kissed gay?

Nope.

Is there a person you CANNOT stand?

Copious amounts of people.

Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?

Have one! Srsly want the spn anti-possession tat tho....

In the past week have you cried?

Yup. It’s a frequent occurence. WOO

What breed was the last dog you saw?

I saw a Springer Spaniel outside work and it nearly killed me coz it looked soooo much like my Cookie baby who I miss so damn hard...

Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?

People dry IN the shower?

Have you ever kissed a football player?

No...

Do you think you’re old?

I guess I’m not, but I feel like I’m getting there XD

Do you like text messaging?

Talking on the phone involves trying to sound chripy. Which I can’t deal with.

What type of day are you having?

Sleepy. Oh that’s everyday...

Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?

Nah.

Do you prefer warm or cold weather?

Cooooold. Get all snuggly and cuddles and UMF.

Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?

Benji (the one whom I have trapped), my dad, bro and nephew

Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?

Flings are fun but a relationship is bliss.

Are you a simple or complicated person?

Nobody is simple.

What song are you listening to?

Linkin Park - What I’ve Done

When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?

Well yeah, or I wouldn’t say it. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?

I’m a woman of mystery! *cloak swish* What made you start liking the person you like now?

There isn’t like one thing...it just happened. He’s a special awesome squishy. When did you last receive a text message?

Couple of hours ago? IDK What is wrong with you right now?

Jensen Ackles is NOT between my legs. How well do you know the last female you texted?

The mother, so rather well. Does anyone disgust you?

I could make a ten page list. Would you date someone right now if they asked?

Already got someone, so I’m cool thanks. Are you in a good mood right now?

I’m not at work, so yeah why not! Who was the last person you talked to in person?

Bunjamin

What color shirt are you wearing?

Uncharacteristically pink Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?

I’m now doing a 12 hour shift tomorrow. Anyone you’re giving up on?

Nah. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?

Nope!

Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?

Yup! Do you like rain?

Yiiiis provided I don’t have to go anywhere Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?

I’m more worried about my own drinking! Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?

Yis. Do you like to cuddle?

Who doesn’t? Are you shy?

I apparently give off the persona that I’m not but trust me, I’m constantly shitting bricks. Do you get along with girls?

*shrugs* I try to get along with anyone Have you dated the person you texted last?

HELL NO What do you carry with you at all times?

Fags and phone If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?

Easily! Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?

Current relationship going on longer than 4 years, so yeah. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?

I refer you to the previous question. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?

Duh! Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?

The kitten keeps using me as a climbing frame

How old are the last three people you kissed?

He’s 29. I have kissed noone else. I’m not going back 4 years.

Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself?

Get Mercy to do them XD Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?

....No. Do you have any stickers on your car?

I think I require a car for this question. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?

Um... next!

Blackberry, Android, or iPhone?

Android When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?

God knows Do you like diet soda?

Near enough any soda. What color are the walls in your room?

Rented flat so everything is like...beige/white Are you 16 or older?

A decade fucking older... Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?

No. Do you have a job?

Unfortunately. What are your initials?

SJK Did you ever have braces?

Nu. Are you from the south?

Northern England!

What does your last status on facebook say?

Probs some shit old meme Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed?

Nope. Are you closer to your mom or your dad?

Mum Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics?

HAHAHA no, but the image is entertaining. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters?

Uuuuh... I dont know? Brain keeps sayng Deadpool but I’m positive we’ve been since. (we don’t get out much)

Do you smoke?

Yis. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops?

Easily flip-flops, can’t do heels Is your phone touch screen?

Yeah Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly?

I just blow dry and see what happens Have you ever snuck out of your house?

Once when I was young. It didn’t go well. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool?

Pool. It’s clean. Have you ever made out in a car?

Yea boiiiiiii Had sex in a car?

No. *sulk* Are you single or in a relationship?

You’re asking this now? What were you doing last night at midnight?

Failing to sleep. When’s the last time you saw fireworks?

New Years Do you like the camera on your phone?

Ye I guess Have you ever had a friend with benefits?

*snerk* a long time ago. Have you ever passed out from drinking?

Yup. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate?

I was but I got rid. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare?

HAHAHAHA ooooh lordy. Name your favorite Kesha song:

...

Do you have any tan lines right now?

I live in England. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts?

Good luck getting me in shorts

FEEL FREE TO STEAL THIS IF YOU WANT

#not spn #questionnaire #why do i find these such fun?

2 notes · View notes

erinravenseekerarts · 7 years

Text

This is the Deal You Made

HEY LOOK I ACTUALLY POST SOMETHING

Alright so this is a Miraculous Ladybug fic I wrote partly inspired by this chapter in seasonofthegeek’s awesome One Hundred MORE Miraculous Drabbles. Also inspired by that one bit in JelloApocalypse's So This is Basically Miraculous Ladybug when he says "ladybubs has the power to be lucky, and catnerd has the power to kill anything he touches."

Also disclaimer don’t trust my science. Yes, I actually do have a degree. In bullshitting.

So yeah this happened. Read on my AO3 or under the cut.

Post on the Ladyblog, Today at 11:03pm.

victory once again!

theLadyblogger another akuma beat by ladybug and chat noir! you two are awesome!! ladybug totes beat ass back ther like omg ur the best herere the snaps i got frm the fight bros attachment: heckyes.pptx but srsly its like 11pm cn hwkmoth plz just take a brkkkkk alredy????

Comments on; victory once again!

cookietime at 11:10pm ladybug isn’t the best, she’s useless without chat noir

curiositykilledthechat at 11:13pm What do you mean? I disagree.

cookietime at 11:14pm i mean ladybug would probably be dead by now if it werent for chat noir

curiositykilledthechat at 11:16pm Don’t say that! Ladybug is definitely capable of taking all these akumas on her own, you know.

cookietime at 11:17pm shes literally cannon fodder w/out chat what are you talking about. i stand by my previous claim shes naive and shed already be dead

curiositykilledthechat at 11:18pm That’s a lie! Ladybug is intelligent, beautiful, and she works incredibly hard to keep the city safe every night! That’s more than many people in Paris can do.

cookietime at 11:20pm whatever. she wouldve died tonight if it werent for chat noir. dont even try to convince me otherwise.

theLadyblogger at 11:21pm the heck is goin on here!?!??!!?!?!!1?!?? this is blASPHEMY

Marinette didn’t even dare to look at the next response, closing the tab. Of course Alya had to arrive then. Marinette’s honestly surprised she hasn’t been banned yet for all the times she’s ‘blasphemed’ or whatever about Ladybug. Maybe that’s just her best friend privileges speaking.

Her phone buzzes. Probably Alya. She doesn’t even care right now, flopping back onto her bed, pulling a pillow over her head, and screaming into it. She’s so tired, it’s one of those days, and she just can’t handle it right now. Not with the late-night akuma attack, with her friends throwing praise at her alter ego all the time, not when she really doesn’t deserve it. Sometimes it’s fun, but on days like this she only fights because she’s the only one who can.

She doesn’t move as the trapdoor above her bed squeaks a little, as a small gust of the chilly night air outside puffs into the room, as a weight lands and makes itself comfortable on her bed. She feels like if she lifts the pillow off her head she’ll scream or sob and she can’t do it. Not when he’s come to visit her on a night like this. He didn’t have to argue with her online, he didn’t have to break out at almost midnight, and he certainly didn’t have to jump rooftops in the cold just to make sure she would be okay.

Marinette resists the urge to punch something, probably herself, as slivers of green light filter past her shut eyelids. She can hear Plagg muttering and the sound of a drawer opening, likely the small cat getting at the camembert she always keeps there for him. When she feels the pillow being pulled at a little, she only holds it tighter.

“Mari,” Adrien says quietly, and she lets out a sob. She’s shaking, she knows, and he scoops her up into his arms as she cries and her pillow leaves her face and all she can do is latch onto him. Either one of them could’ve died tonight and it’s just so hard to think straight and here she is, breaking down when she really shouldn’t and it’s just so difficult to keep going on like everything is normal when it really isn’t. She can’t go to school tomorrow, and she has no doubt Adrien would just stay here and play games with her for the whole day if she didn’t force him to go.

“It’s okay,” he shushes, and she knows she can hear Tikki and Plagg talking in the background but all she can focus on is how tight her grip on the front of Adrien’s shirt is because if she lets her mind any further than what is immediately in front of her she’ll snap completely. “We’re okay.” She ignores the buzzing of her phone by her leg. Alya’s either mad, or worried, or both, but she can’t care right now.

It seems like ages before Marinette's able to pull away just a little, forcing her breathing to even. Adrien still won’t budge, keeping her in a close hug. God knows she needs it.

“You didn’t have to come,” she says eventually, body completely under control once again. She pulls away. “I’ll have been fine eventually.”

“Nonsense, bug. What kind of partner would I be then?” he gives her an empathetic smile. “Besides, we both have our days. At least I can be here for you.”

More tears are going down Marinette’s cheeks but now she’s smiling faintly. She’s pulled back into the hug and honestly, there’s nothing else she wants right now.

If the next day is spent napping and cuddling and playing video games and definitely not at school, who’s to judge?

Breathing is hard.

Skeletal muscles attach to bones and move according to messages from the nervous system. One such muscle is the diaphragm, the muscle that facilitates the breathing process by expanding and contracting the space inside of the lungs, creating a vacuum that is quickly replaced by air via the bronchial tubes.

Moving is hard.

Fatigue slows the central nervous system, causing difficulties in reaction time and movement speed. As muscles typically involved in all types of movement are skeletal muscles, they rely on the central nervous system to pilot them.

Keeping one’s tired heart together is hard.

Scientifically speaking, hearts themselves cannot break. They aren’t made of a brittle substance, they are muscle. However hearts, unlike other muscles, cannot tire. They consist of a special muscle called cardiac muscle, which contains up to 35% mitochondria, supplying the heart with a nigh-limitless amount of energy. While the heart does not tire naturally, it isn’t impossible for it to tire. By the point that it does, serious damage has already been done to the fibres.

The bright screen hurts his eyes in the darkness of his room. His hands are shaking. Plagg is asleep. He doesn’t want to wake the exhausted kwami. The Ladyblog is open on his computer and he can’t keep writing. Alya’s probably pissed.

curiositykilledthechat at 9:47pm Chat Noir doesn’t even do anything useful.

theLadyblogger at 9:51pm wat the heck u talkin about?!??!?!?????

curiositykilledthechat at 9:53pm I mean, Ladybug always carries the fights. She’s the one who always fixes everything.

cookietime at 9:54pm that doesn’t mean chat noir isn’t helpful!

theLadyblogger at 9:54pm chat noir protects ladybug and makes it so she can fix everythin tho!!!

curiositykilledthechat at 9:56pm All he does is destroy things and put people in danger.

Adrien's vision is blurry. When did he start crying? He can’t read the messages on the Ladyblog. It probably doesn’t matter. His phone buzzes. Several times. Then it rings. He doesn’t pick it up, doesn’t move from his spot in the chair at his desk. When a cold gust of wind hits him he faintly thinks When did my window open? before two arms wrap around his shoulders from behind. Ah. Then. The window is always unlocked anyway. His hand grips the arms tightly, and he doesn’t protest when they urge him up and move him over to the couch to sit down. He still doesn’t look. There’s a flash of pink light as the window is shut, then footsteps make their way to him.

“Shhhhh, it’s alright,” Marinette sits down beside him and pulls him into a hug. She runs her hands through his hair as he silently struggles to control his breathing. He’s leaning heavily on her, but she doesn’t complain. He’s always leaning on her, always being a burden, always messing things up and endangering her and being controlled and destroying everything.

“Quiet now, kitty,” she whispers as he opens his mouth to say something, anything, and he buries his face further into her shoulder. His hands are shaking but he’s stopped crying now, at least.

“All I do is destroy things,” he gets out meekly after a few minutes. Marinette hums.

“What about us? You’re always saving me. You were the one to ask me out,” she replies gently.

“I’m scared,” he’s almost whispering now. “I have the power to destroy everything I touch. I do destroy everything I touch.” It’s barely audible now. “What if I destroy someone?”

“I’ll know you never meant to,” comes the steady reply. He knew that would be the answer. He just can’t believe Marinette would trust him so deeply and entirely. Because it’s happened before, that he’s tried to use Cataclysm on a person. She told him so; he’d pulled it on her during the Dark Cupid incident. He feels sick. The power to destroy whatever he touches, to kill people so easily, is terrifying to wield. He feels like he shouldn’t have this responsibility, no matter what Plagg or Tikki say. He can’t trust himself enough.

They spend a little longer in silence until Adrien is almost falling asleep on Marinette’s shoulder, calmed and purring quietly. Side effects of being Chat Noir. She eventually huffs and nudges him up.

“Come on, sleepy kitty, we have a test tomorrow and I need my beauty sleep too.” Adrien protests faintly as she leaves. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Is that okay?”

Adrien nods. “Yes. I’m okay.”

Alya and Nino are worried about their friends, sure. Sometimes the happiness seems forced, too-wide smiles and very quick "i’m fine"s followed by a change in subject. They’re better around each other, though. Marinette is less frantic when near Adrien, and Alya suspects she’s just acting all flustered and stuff now. Adrien seems less tense around Marinette, more comfortable in his own skin.

Alya and Nino know they aren’t part of whatever seems to be going on in their best friends’ lives. They know no matter how much they wish they could change the circumstances, know and be part of it, it’s something they can’t be privy to.

Whatever’s wrong, they’re glad those two have each other.

End.

#erinravenseekerart #fanfiction #miraculous ladybug #adrien x marinette #marinette cheng #adrien agreste #adrienette #angst #emotional hurt/comfort #post-identity-reveal #basically these children are sad #excuse me while i basically just copy the tags from the AO3 upload #help #too many tags wth #I'm posting this at 10:30pm

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