#brother in christ why do i keep hurting myself with these scenarios

[metiredlr]

The thought of Kanda hugging Alma til he couldn't feel warmth anymore and then getting the sinking feeling that he would have to do something with Alma's remains all alone in the midst of that ghost town

[bethbluebell]

bats and gates [ s. harrington ] part 1

steve harrington x fem!reader

summary; you’re dustin’s sister and since the beginning you were kept in the dark about the upside down until you’re thrown into the depths of said ‘watergate’ and face the dangers that await on the other side

(ongoing series)

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“As many of you know, the Roane County line received a call a little after midnight…” You peek at the corner of your eye to see your mother trembling at the news, “…reporting a homicide here at the lake.” You look down at your lap lightly shaking your head holding your breath, there has been so much tragedy in Hawkins and you’re not sure if you’ll ever truly feel safe living here again, not after the devastatingly frequent deaths targeting the high school students.

“Officer Callanhan here and myself arrived first on the scene. We made our way to the shore of Lover’s Lake, about ten yards from that house you see behind me.” Without saying a word, you shifted along the sofa and gently took your mothers hands in yours. Your brother never really seemed phased by the events in Hawkins. Yes, he was upset but it never stopped him from picking up from where he left off.   You had always gave Dustin his freedom and never nagged him for staying out too late. You have even covered for him on a few small occasions but you knew you had to tighten the reins at some point, “It was there that we found the victim, an 18-year-old senior from Hawkins High, Patrick Mckinney.” You felt your mom squeeze you hand as the name was revealed, your heart hurt for Dustin and his friends as they had most likely seen this boy around school. Three deaths in such a small amount of time, you wondered why you had only seen the severity of the situation until now.   As you attempted to listen to all the thoughts in your head, your mother gently rubbed your arm snapping you back to reality, “We have also identified a person of interest.” Your eyes snapped back to the TV in desperation to find a person to blame, to keep Dustin away from.   “Eddie Munson.”   Your blood ran cold. Eddie? As in the guy that is the leader of the club Dustin was in, Eddie?   As if it was a reflex, your body shot up from the sofa and scanned the living room for your car keys. If it was Eddie, there is a high chance Dustin could be next or even other possible scenarios you don’t even want to think about.   Not seeing your keys in the living room you raced towards your bedroom which was positioned opposite to Dustin’s until you heard static.   “…Where are you?” You heard Dustin’s slightly distorted voice come from inside his room.   You stopped in your tracks and turned around to investigate until it felt as if your heart was in your mouth at the sound of the other voice that came from the spare walkie-talkie, “Skull Rock. Do you know it?”   Eddie Munson. That fucker has got another thing coming if he thinks he’s going anywhere near Dustin. After tearing your whole room apart you managed to find your keys and get on the road.   You skidded as you parked just outside the dreary forest and ventured in on foot. You were quite impressed at how quick you were able to slip through without falling on your face until faint voices up ahead automatically slowed down your pace.   “Dustin!” You shouted as his figure came into view, you ran and enveloped him into a hug causing him to push against you in embarrassment. As you looked around at the crowd before you, you quickly shoved Dustin behind you and pointed at Eddie, “You!” Eddie held his hands up and looked at the others for help. “You stay away from my brother and his friends! Max, Lucas, get over here!” Reluctantly, they both made their way behind you as Dustin shakes your arm begging you to stop.   “(Y/N)..” Steve piped up trying you calm you down as he stepped in front of a very alarmed Eddie.   Taking your eyes off Eddie you look over at Steve in disappointment, “Have you not watched the news? He’s the main suspect for all these killings for Christ sake!”   “I know it looks bad.” Steve admitted earning a scoff from you.   It felt as if they were treating you as the crazy one and it was getting you more riled up by the second, “Bad? Bad! The whole of Hawkins thinks Eddie’s either a serial killer or doing Satan’s dirty work!” You exclaimed throwing your hands in the air.   Handling you like a skittish animal, Steve slowly approached you, his eyes never leaving yours, “Please (y/n), if you come over here we can explain everything.” You took a deep breath and looked back at the three teenagers since Dustin finally decided to let Steve take charge on attempting to reason with you.   “You know what, sure. I’ll play along for now.” You march over to Steve, not failing to observe Nancy, Robin and most noticeably Eddie all take a sign of relief.   You all huddled together in a little circle as they gave you a short but sweet explanation of the upside down, Vecna and the most alarming part, the curse. You began ranting and raving about how stupid do they think you are and even forced Robin to look you in the eyes and tell you that this wasn’t all a lie, to which you were rudely cut off by Dustin yelling about his compass and some gate that’s messing with it.   Only because you want to believe that the person your brother has been hanging out with is not a serial killer, you decide to join the group and if in some twisted way it was all a lie, you can at least grab Dustin and make a quick getaway.   Strolling alongside Steve, following the rest of the group you decided to pipe up, “The only reason I am giving you the benefit of the doubt is because I know full well if this story was bullshit, Max and Nancy would most definitely not be entertaining this. Especially something as serious as…” You leaned in close to Steve, covering your mouth with the back of your hand as your eyes scoped out the area, “…murder.”   Steve looked at you almost offended, stopping in his tracks placing his hands on his hips, “Oh, and you think I would?” You darted your eyes away from his gaze, lightly scratching your neck.   “In the nicest way possible?” You grinned at him, causing Steve to let out a laugh muttering a quiet ‘unbelievable’ under his breath, “Hey, considering half of you guys have known about this for god knows how long, I should feel like the biggest idiot.”   Steve looked over at you hesitantly, “You’re not upset about it are you? About not knowing.”   “I don’t know, a bit of me is hurt that you didn’t trust me enough tell me. Would’ve been nice to have at least a heads up if it is as dangerous as you all say it is.” You explain lightly kicking the rocks beneath your feet, “I mean what if it was somehow Dustin instead of Billy? I wouldn’t have even had the chance to protect him. Just sucks in all honesty.” You leaned back trying to prevent the newly formed tears from escaping which became even harder when you felt Steve wrap his arm around your shoulders and pull you into the side of his chest.   You both began walking in silence as you clung onto him, trying to discreetly wipe the tears that eventually travelled down your face, “It wasn’t anything to do with trusting you (y/n) because I have known you for most of my life. The decision to keep you in the dark was more me if I’m being honest.” You so desperately wanted to act calm and collected but you were hanging off his every word.   “I could see what you were willing to sacrifice for Dustin and he could too. You have had so much opportunity, so much going for you in school and I thought if I took that role for you, looking after Dustin with this upside down situation then I’d be ultimately helping you too.” Steve pleaded his case. After a few seconds of silence Steve sighed and gently circled your arm with his thumb, “I really don’t want you to feel betrayed by all of this (y/n), I-we all had your best interests at heart.”   His short speech made your heart quicken at Steve’s sickly sweet words and how he had thought about you during all of this, “Damn, you have still got it Harrington, I was getting scared you were losing that charm of yours.” You laughed patting his back as you reluctantly peeled yourself off the side of him. You had always tried to bury the jittery feeling you felt when you were in the proximity of Steve. A lot of this had to do with Dustin telling you how obvious it was that Steve still wasn’t over Nancy and that it was getting ‘painful to watch’ were his exact words.   “Still got it?” You heard Steve whisper until he let out a massive groan, “Oh, God. Dustin’s been telling you things hasn’t he?” You smirked as you looked over at his panicked face.   “Erm, of course. Hearing all about Steve Harrington’s dating life is like the highlight of my week.” Steve’s eyes widened as he dragged his hand over his face.   “He is so dead.”   Arriving at the lake you all managed to keep the kids off the boat and begin the search. You were fairly laidback about the whole thing, not expecting the story to actually be true. You rubbed your palms against your jeans flashing Steve and Nancy a few awkward smiles in the process as your trick to gain some warmth did fuck all. You were lodged in-between them both feeling like a third wheel due to their past romantic history.   Soon enough as you got further into the lake you noticed the compass spinning abnormally fast along with Nancy, “Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down. Slow down, guys.” Nancy lifted off her seat tapping Eddie’s shoulder. You couldn’t peel your eyes away from the compass, not believing what your eyes were showing you.   You were snapped out of your thoughts due to everyone gathering close together to view the compass, “Whoa.” Steve gasped leaning over you with his flashlight. You could vaguely hear Dustin coming through the walkie talkie as Robin was quick to explain the situation.   You looked to your left as Steve was elbowing you and his movements becoming more frantic by the second, “Hey, what are you- “ You watched as his shoes hit the bottom of the boat and held his arm to stop him, “Why are you taking your clothes off?” You blurted out in concern, trying to prevent the red tint from showing in your cheeks.   Steve continued to shuffle around in his seat as you all stared at him, “Somebody’s got to go down and check this out.” Steve explained between breaths.   You sat back and massaged your forehead with your fingers, “Steve, what are you talking about.”   “Hey, unless one of you four can top being a Hawkin’s High swim co-captain and a certified lifeguard for three years, then it’s gotta be me.”   “No complaints, all right?”   You scoffed and shook your head, “Yes, I have a complaint.” Steve’s eyes locked with yours as if he was pleading for you to keep your mouth shut because he could just predict your next words, “First off, I helped you get picked for co-caption because I couldn’t take the position due to having no time for it and then having to quit the team because I had opportunities to enter swimming competitions outside of Hawkins.” Steve rolled his eyes but continued to listen to your rant, seeing Robin smirk from the corner of your eye, “Secondly, my part-time job was literally a lifeguard and Steve you can’t even say you don’t remember me storming into scoops complaining about how infuriating Billy was to train up, so please don’t sit there with your bare feet exposed to all of us and tell me that you are more qualified at diving into this lake,” You huffed staring dead into his eyes. You saw Steve glance at his feet and back at you.   He took a short pause before looking away once again, “Not happening (y/n), besides you don’t even know what you’re looking for.” Steve stated, rising from his seat.   “Hey, I’m not complaining, I do not want to go down there.” Eddie added in, looking down at the water.   You abruptly stood up as well causing the small boat to rock, “I’m pretty sure I’ll be able to locate a gate that leads to another dimension, Steve.” You whisper-yelled as he pulled his shirt over his head, “I’m not saying you’re incapable of doing this it’s just a part of me needs to see this for myself.”   “And I am definitely a tiny bit more qualified.” You said teasingly causing Steve to scoff and look away.   Taking that as a go ahead you began slipping off your shoes and taking the bag covered flashlight from Eddie.   You felt Steve’s hand firmly on your shoulder. “Seriously be careful, I don’t want to have to rescue Hawkin’s best swimmer and ruin your rep.” You smirked and lightly placed your hand over his.   “Have faith in me & my medals, Steve.” He smiled softly back at you, stepping back as you took a deep breath.   With perfect form you dived into the lake and navigated the bottom using the gleam from the flashlight. You began to squint at the scattered fish bones coming into view until animalistic groans were echoing throughout the water which caused your whole body to freeze and focus. It was possible that your mind was playing tricks on you with the sounds but most definitely not with the red glow. You swam closer revealing the eye shaped hole before you, you were floating just above it admiring how surreal it was.   As if you were in a trance you held out your hand to the middle of the gate and steadily stretched out closer. Nearly dropping your flashlight, your reflexes pulled you back as bubbles escaped from your mouth. A snake-like shadow made quick movement on the other side as if it had been awakened.   You took this as the perfect sign to retreat and quickly swam upwards from the lake.   Emerging from the water, you took a large gasp, pushing the wet hair from your face, “I found it.” You managed to get out, splashing in the water from shock.   The others made their way to the edge of the boat, almost tipping it over, “You found it?”   “Yes, I most definitely did.” You gasped, panting as you wrapped your arms around the edge of the boat.   Gleefully, Robin lifted the radio, “Dustin, you are a goddamn Einstein. (Y/N) found the gate.” You felt Steve’s hand over yours, firmly keeping you above the water.   You looked up at him and grinned, “I am never doubting you guys again.” Nancy let out a light laugh as Steve looked down at you fondly.   You began to lift yourself against the side of the boat until something roughly yanked you underneath the water causing you to slip from Steve’s grasp. You managed to pull yourself up for a short amount of time, reading the confusion on everyone’s faces until its grip became so tight around your ankle you knew you would just have to hold your breath and brace yourself.   The darkness engulfed you as you kicked at whatever was dragging you down, you cursed to yourself as you noticed you let go of your flashlight due to the shock of being pulled under. Fear washing over your face as you looked down, realising where you were headed.   It was as if you had awoken in a nightmare when you passed through the gate. You sat up in shock as you gasped for air, feeling your wet clothes stick to your skin. You were blinking frantically trying to clear the water from your eyes as your surroundings sounded eerily quiet.   You felt dazed as you turned your head to look around, your heart feeling as if it was going to burst out of your chest as you viewed the deserted space before you. Your head shot towards the gate as you picked yourself up in a hurry feeling the soreness of your ankle, “Not good..” You whispered looking down at the gate, tilting your head to get a better view until a faint squawk could be heard behind you.   You whipped your head around as a bat-like creature closed in on you, swooping down in haste managing to scratch the side of your arm with its wing brushing past your cheek. You turned to keep track of the bat when a thick, spikelike pressure drove into your lower leg. You reached out beside you and grabbed onto the tentacle like tail, summoning all your strength to rip it off you. You threw it on the ground with a well-deserved thud and hunched over, catching your breath as the fresh wound ramped up all the way to searing, blinding agony faster than you could blink.   The creatures gave you no time to adjust as two more latched themselves onto your torso. You were already screaming before but now it’s different. You collapsed onto the ground unable to cater to the pain and when you attempted to get up, your legs wouldn’t move. You didn’t know where you were. All you know is that you’re alone and probably going to die. All you could hear was your own light cries and the monsters gnawing at your flesh.   Your eyes were closed, and it was a bit like you were dreaming. The lack of oxygen and the pain of the bats piercing your skin was enough to make you lightheaded and on the brink of passing out. As much as you didn’t want to die, you mentally prepared yourself with what energy you had left. You could see you vision blurring and your grip on the bat loosening. Your cries faded out as you succumbed to your injuries and let your head fall, smacking against the ground, blacking out.

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You stirred as your body felt stiff, forcing your heavy eyelids to squint as you felt movement around your upper left arm. You struggled to twist your body as your back was propped up against a large rock with minimal shelter.   You noticed your surroundings get significantly darker as you widened your eyes more. There they all were. Steve, Nancy, Robin and Eddie all huddled above you looking scared shitless.   Steve combed a hand through his hair muttering a ‘thank god’ as you flashed them a small smile.   “Do I look like shit because I feel like it.” You let out a pained laugh, this tiny jostle sending ripples of pain throughout your shoulders, back and neck.   Nancy gently leaned you backwards onto the rock and sent a pitiful look your way, “I have bandaged you up the best I could but your injuries are bad (y/n), we need to get you to a doctor.” You pouted and breathed in, your ribs aching at the pressure.   “Thanks Nancy.” She smiled back at you placing her hands on her knees and lifting herself off the ground.   Eddie and Steve both positioned at each side of your body crouching, wrapping their arm underneath yours. You screwed your eyes shut, “Go ahead, I’m fine, I’m fine.” You mumbled absentmindedly. In the most cautious way possible, both boys pulled you off the ground and steadied you.   Steve rested his hand on your upper back and pulled you aside away from the others, his voice laced with concern, “This is exactly why I said for you not to go down there,” Steve whispered angrily, you screwed your eyes shut, biting the corner of your mouth. The dull throb that plagued your head made it so difficult for you to concentrate on Steve’s little rant, “I can’t believe you would be so stupid and put yourself in danger like that.”   “Steve, what’s done is done, let’s please not make it an issue.” You stated adamantly, Steve looked up in frustration and placed his hands on his hips.   “It already is an issue, you don’t know this place like I do. What if the gate closed behind you, hm- what then! You were practically being eaten alive out there.” You slowly nodded, barely even listening. You leaned against the rock you were both huddled close to, your right hand stretching out towards it for stability.   “I mean God, (y/n), look at you.”   You gritted your teeth as you pushed yourself off the rock, “Yes, Steve look at me.” You adjusted your footing and motioned to your battered form, “I made a mistake. I. Fucked. Up.”   “Seriously give me a break, or better yet you should’ve just left me down here to die if it was such an inconvenience for you.” You didn’t mean to sound so bitter but the quick flash of hurt that covered Steve’s face was enough to make you realise you didn’t mean those words so why did you say them? You were grateful, so fucking grateful for them but the pain was making you agitated and all you craved was a bit of space.   “What?” Steve blurted out flatly, all anger stripped from his words.   You bit your bottom lip and glanced down at the dried mud on your jeans, preparing to do some quick damage control, “I-I know, I should have listened but I never thought it would have dragged me through.” You didn't know where to put your hands at that moment, you wanted to go backwards, but his eyes were clouded as he stared unseeingly. You seemed nailed in place. You couldn't move. The only pain you felt at this moment was the ache from your heart.   Yes, you have seen Steve hurt before but it has never been directed towards you.   Steve fidgeted as if he had just snapped back from daydreaming, “We should go." Steve said sharply, It was awkward as he brushed passed you, you sighed in defeat as you followed quietly behind.   “Steve..” It took so much energy to keep your tears at bay and your voice not to break at that very moment.   Steve stopped in place and stared back at you followed by everyone else. His eyes were glued onto your fresh bruises and wounds, you quickly caught onto his gaze and lifted your hands to hold yourself, a desperate attempt at covering the wounds that weren’t bandaged.   You couldn’t even look at him anymore, your body was reaching out to him but you couldn’t find the words. Steve shook his head and carried on walking, you all followed after him but you noticed how fast he was walking practically running away from you.   You held back from the group, looking down at your cut up fingers and swollen palms as you followed their voices at virtually snail pace.   The crunch of leaves next to you barely took you out of your trance but it wasn’t difficult to figure out who was now beside you, the chunky, silver rings that decorated his fingers gave that away.   “I know you don’t really know me, I mean I’ve heard a lot about you from Dustin but we have never really talked.” You side eyed him, keeping your head directed at your hands.   “I mean no offence but you are like intimidating as in, you don’t fit into a clique but you still manage to make it work, be popular and achieve cool things. But what did surprise me was you never seem to make it easy for yourself.” You raised an eyebrow at him in confusion, was this like Eddie’s last words to you just in case you bled out. You thought Nancy did a good job with her makeshift bandages but maybe Eddie wasn’t so optimistic.   “Like today, as soon as you heard Dustin could be in danger you tracked both of us down. But even when you had Dustin, you could have just left and reported me to the cops but you heard us out and even jumped into the lake.”   “Basically what I am trying to say is thank you” Eddie admits, looking at the dim path ahead.   After a comforting silence Eddie snaps his head back to you, “I am also trying to butter you up so you don’t track me down again because that was pretty terrifying” Eddie spluttered out quickly.   You gave him an apologetic look and shook your head lightly in embarrassment, “I mean the cops are one thing but a protective older sibling..” Eddie trailed off leaning closer to your ear.   Your body shivered as he cupped the outer part of your ear with his palm and whispered, “I almost shit my pants..”   You let out an amused laugh as Eddie sheepishly grins down at you his cheeks tinted red. Even though letting out your laughter felt so refreshing, you quickly slapped your hand over your mouth taking into account where you were.   You noticed Steve’s smile fade as he glanced back at you and Eddie walking closely beside each other, giggling.   As your eyes made contact with his, he quickly snapped back to reality and focused on whatever Robin was rambling about, most likely about you having rabies from all those bat bites.   "So, you and Harrington?" Eddie asks, his face expectant and waiting.   You peer up at him, your face blank, “What?”   “Well, it only makes the most sense.” he continues, tilting his head sideways, bending down slightly to look at you, “You brother idolises him and Steve most definitely feels some type of way about you.”   You shake your head at him, folding your arms across your chest, “No, no way, what are you getting at Munson?”   “As far as I’m aware,” Eddie lightly lifts your chin up, scanning your eyes, “You’re not blind and a person cannot be that oblivious.” Eddie continues, with plenty of emphasis on ‘that’.   You look away, brushing him off, “Well you’d be the first who thinks that.”   He paused, trudging alongside you for a while. You noticed him kicking the pebbles along the path, fidgeting, knocking into you a few times.   “When you got dragged under,” Eddie piped up, taking a deep breath, “I was too ashamed to be the one who stayed behind.” He admitted, “I am just so use to running away from things, but Harrington right there, he didn’t waste a second.” Your eyes lit up, widening at the revelation.   “Not one second.”   You were like a child listening to their favourite bedtime story, “He just dove right in.”   “Now, I don’t know what just happened between you two, but if I were you, I would fix it. ‘Cause that was as unambiguous a sign of true love as these cynical eyes have ever seen.”   You stared at him, dumbfounded. You didn’t doubt that Steve would have been the first one to come after you but just hearing it, how he didn’t hesitate when he saw you in danger. It lit a fire within you.   You looked at Steve as he walked in between Nancy and Robin. Your smile grew, staring at him fondly. You had always had some feelings towards Steve but you managed to push them aside due to always second guessing if Steve just wanted a friendship considering how hung up he was on Nancy, or so you thought.   “I’m going to do it.” You said sternly, picking up the pace, your injuries failing to hold you back, “Err, do what exactly?” Eddie questioned matching your pace.   “I’m going to fix this, I don’t know why I held myself back for this long.” You lightly patted his chest, “I can’t thank you eno-!” A sudden, rapid shaking of the ground knocked you off your feet and into Eddie. “-Shit!” You tumbled on top of him, Eddie wrapping his arms around you cushioning the blow. The side of your face was squished against him, his heart hammering in his chest.   “Here we go again!” Eddie yelled, cradling your head as you clung onto him, trying to get a look at the others. They weren’t as compromised as you two were but it still managed to knock them about.   They were further ahead of you and becoming increasingly difficult to see, camouflaged by the smog. You heard the faint yelling of your name unable to pinpoint an exact location as the rumbling roared throughout the upside down.   “(Y/n), (y/n)!” You opened your eyes as quick as you closed them, Steve was standing above you both, gasping for breath. He peeled you off Eddie not even acknowledging him, checking your body over, “You okay?”   You gulped, looking down at Eddie who was now dusting himself off, “Yeah, yeah.” You were overwhelmed with everything and Steve could tell. From being dragged through a gate, eaten alive and now trapped in the upside down, you were exhausted.   You timidly stepped forward, closer to him. You couldn’t help it, you needed this. You wrapped your arms tightly around his waist and rested your head against his bare chest. His warmth and smell was intoxicating, you let out a quiet sigh as he returned the hug, resting his chin on the top of your head as he rubbed the back of it in a comforting motion.   “I’m sorry.” He whispered into your hair, holding you just a little bit tighter.   “I’m sorry, too.” You moved your head to look up at him as he looked down at you. You swear in that moment, you saw Steve in a whole different light. You found solace in each other.   As you both let go. He held onto your shoulders and glanced between you and Eddie.   “Let’s all stick together from now on.” You and Eddie both nodded simultaneously like two little kids.   Just like the walk to Lover’s Lake in Hawkin’s, you and Steve were strolling behind the others as you all made your way towards Nancy’s house. It was a comfortable silence but it never lasts long with Steve, “You and Eddie seemed pretty cosy back there.”   Your cheeks burn as you remember the ordeal. Sure, Eddie was great and was definitely not a murderer but Steve had your attention and occupied your mind more than you realised.   You waved your hand, dismissing him, “I more or less flattened him Steve.”   He let out a little laugh and gently elbowed your arm keeping your condition in mind, “Is that what we’re calling it nowadays?” He teased, winking over at you.   “Oh, whatever,” You rolled your eyes, returning a smile.   Trudging along beside them, you made it to Nancy’s house, infested with the vines that dragged you here. The whole upside down looked like a snake pit, the vines withering slow enough for you not to notice that they were alive, but you knew better.   Nancy surveyed the inside first, swooping her flashlight along the walls and floor. The dust particles becoming more prominent with the glow of the light as Nancy ventured in, pushing them aside.   You had to resist the urge to cover your mouth, not wanted to inhale any of it. You entered behind Robin, your eyes adjusting to the darkness that the house engulfed you in.   “Might be time to get a maid, Wheeler.” Robin commented pausing beside you, unwilling to step a foot further inside.   Nancy rolled her eyes, ushering them all up the stairs, you lagging behind like usual.   The air started to get much colder as multiple voices inaudibly echoed throughout the building. At first you thought it was just the side effects of the headache but that was until the voices got clearer and way too familiar.   You slowed down your pace as if you were in slow motion. Dustin’s speech was choppy but recognisable, echoing throughout the house like a ghost.   Your eyes shot upwards, following the echo of his voice, “Dustin?” You abruptly stopped at the first step of Nancy’s staircase. Shaking your head lightly, you held onto the handrail, “Uh, what the fuck is going on?”   “Hm?” Steve hummed shining the flashlight directly in your eyes, causing you to squint and block it out with your arm. “Shit- sorry.” He directed it to the ground, clumsily running back down the stairs and planting himself next to you.   “Hey, you feeling alright?” Steve asked, his hand on your shoulder.   You looked at him, narrowing your eyes, “I swear I just heard Dustin.” Steve’s eyes largened, looking away from you. You went to speak when he held one finger up to your face and the other to his lips.   Steve and you were froze like this for a couple of seconds until he muttered a ‘holy shit’ under his breath.   As if confirmation that he heard it too, he jumped off the last step and leaned towards the kitchen. “I hear him.” He confirmed. You scanned the area as you made your way over to Steve, “How can I hear that little shits voice?” Steve spun around, causing you to shock him out of his trance at the close proximity you found yourselves in.   He grinned down at you, frantically leaving your side as he yelled up at Nancy’s ceiling.   “Dustin! Dustin! Can you hear me?!” Steve flailed, it took every fibre in your body to not break out into laughter at how insane his whole outburst made him look.   Like clockwork, you heard numerous footsteps closing in on you from behind.   Nancy was the first one to come running over to you, her face plastered with concern, “What happened?” She asked glancing over at Steve.   Robin joined short after, equally as confused, “Steve’s trying to speak to Dustin, his voice is like echoing.” Both of them stood before you frozen, “Strange, I know, but I heard him too.”   Robin gasped, “Steve got bitten too, what if the symptoms are setting in!” She ruffled her hands through her hair in disbelief that her theory is becoming more than just a theory.   “(Y/N), I know this is hard-“ She consoled, holding her hand out to you.   You scrunched your eyebrows together in disbelief, “I-We, Robin, we do not have rabies!” You whisper-yelled, your eyes nearly bulging out of your head.   “You did lose a lot of blood, (Y/N)” Nancy added, her arms crossed.   “What?” You laughed in disbelief, “Steve, c’mon back me up here.” You looked back, gesturing towards him. Not helping your case, Steve was flailing about, muttering about him being ‘in the walls’.   You turned back to Nancy and Robin squeezing your eyes shut and took a deep breath, “I need to sit down.” You strolled over to Nancy’s rotten couch and softly slumped down, avoiding the chance to disturb any tentacles.   What if you were going mad?   “Dustin!” Nancy yelled, snapping you out of your ‘rest’. Eddie threw the curtains open as Robin began chiming in with the rest of them.   You slammed your hands on the seat and push yourself up, noticeably irritated, “All right, either my brother can’t hear us or he’s being a total douchebag.” You huffed, catching their attention, “Look, I don’t exactly find being another one of those demon bats chew-toy appealing, so unfortunately it looks like we are going to have to find another way.” You sighed at them, preparing to slump back down into the couch.   “Will found a way.” Nancy piped up.   “What?” Steve breathed out, lowering his flashlight.   “Will.” Nancy confirmed stepping back in a hurry, “He found a way to speak to Joyce through the lights.” You strolled over to the four of them, staring at Nancy as she began messing with the lights and abruptly flicking the switches.

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You leaned back on Nancy’s dresser letting the four of them figure out how to communicate back to Dustin. You were slowly regaining your strength, thankful for Nancy sacrificing her outfit for your sake. You would catch Steve glancing back at you from time to time, checking you were still awake and not getting dragged through another hole in the ground. You would always respond with a soft smile, feeling the tension in your body ease at Steve’s reassurance.   You could hear them getting more excited, elevating your spirits as you took a quick peek at the four of them huddled around a drawing board. In a way you were grateful for this whole situation as it solidified your feelings for Steve and unwillingly pushed them to the surface. You’ve never been one for relationships or romance. You were too focused on your training or competitions, but this felt right. You wanted this.   “Hey!” You blinked frantically being shook by your shoulders. Steve’s face came into view as you opened your eyes fully. His hands shifted to your face as soon as you met each other’s gaze, “You can’t do that, (Y/N).”   You scoffed, “What, I can’t rest my eyes?”   He sighed, “You can’t let your guard down.” Your playful demeanor faltered at the seriousness in his voice.   You nodded slowly, placing you hand over his, “Sorry.” You whispered, lightly rubbing your thumb over his knuckles, “I think I was hoping I’d wake up in my bed right about now.” You smiled, causing him to chuckle softly. You noticed the muscles in his shoulders relax as he loosened the grip on your face, melting into you touch.   You wondered if Steve noticed it too, the swift change in atmosphere whenever you locked eyes. You followed his eyes as they traveled away from yours and landed on your lips.   “Hey, guys!” You both turned your head in the direction of Nancy’s bedroom door and quickly released your hold on one another. Nancy had peered in the room staring back at you both, “We need to hurry, we don’t know how much time we have left.” You and Steve looked over to each other one last time quickly composing yourselves before following Nancy’s lead out the door.

<><><><><><><><><><><>  Arriving at Eddie’s trailer, you all barged through the door and fumbled in. Desperate for Dustin to be right.  You almost cried when you saw the gate more or less coating the ceiling, already dreaming about being back in your bed. You were all silently pleading that the others would get here soon, not warming to the conditions of the upside down; if that was ever possible.   It was at that moment you were met with an object slashing through the gate, pure light beginning to beam through. Giddiness was bubbling up inside you as Dustin’s face came into view.   Even though the gates were equally disgusting as they were terrifying, you couldn’t help but gawk. It was like an optical illusion the way both of your groups were staring at one another. Through. The. Roof.   Luckily, the four of them were well equipped and threw down a DIY rope. You questioned the discoloured mattress that was going to be used to soften the landing, quietly muttering that you’d prefer to land on the floor.   “You guys should go up first, I’m going to need all the help I can get in my state.” You mentioned, gesturing towards your blood stained bandages. “Look, you may have to pull me through from the other side, there’s no way I can do that myself.”   Steve nodded at you, “I’ll stay back with you then so I can lift you up.” You smiled softly at the kind gesture, “Do you three want to climb through first?” He motioned towards Robin, Eddie and Nancy.   You stood back as the three climbed through the gate, reuniting with Dustin, Max and Lucas. Oh, and Erica, you were starting to wonder how many other people knew about the Upside Down. If your ego wasn’t bruised before it most definitely was now.   As Nancy fell on the mattress, you stood just below the gate, the others anticipating you next, “Okay, she made it. Steve are you ready?” You asked looking back at him, doing a double take as you noticed him stood abnormally stiff.   “Steve?” You whispered, looking down at the flashlight on the floor beside him. His body was spasming, his face shadowed by the dark, unclear to see.   Immediately, you began shaking him but it was as if he was in a trance, “Steve?!” You screamed out again, using both your hands now to shake him. You kneeled down to pick up his flashlight and gasped, stepping back. Steve’s eyes were milky, practically rolled to the back of his head.   “Fuck- guys we have a problem!”  <><><><><><><><><><><>

Steve was paralysed, his body working against him as his desire to move was no longer something he could control. Steve could only shift his eyes to view the warped reality he found himself in. The bodies of the two mangled teenagers before him, held up by the tentacles that swarmed the upside down.   From behind Chrissy, Vecna appeared into view, menacingly walking towards Steve. He dared to look around any further, his eyes glued to Vecna’s terrifying form.   “You really are as pathetic as humans can get.” Vecna’s monstrous tone grumbled, “You are pining for people that don’t want you, that never will want you.”   “Everyone around you is leaving you, for bigger, better things meanwhile your stuck in this tragic version of yourself, wallowing in self-pity as everyone leaves you behind.” He pulled Steve closer, “You really thought Nancy would ever love someone like you?”   “That (y/n) would ever look your way?” Vecna’s voice faded out, mockingly.   Vecna’s form vanished into dust as your form took his place, “You couldn’t protect me, you’re weak.” You glared at him, venom coating your words, “I don’t trust you, I could never trust you!” The colour of your eyes were muted, your face drained of colour. Vecna allowed Steve to regain control of his body feeding off his reaction.   “The only way you could possibly protect me and Dustin is to stay away from us.” You spat. Steve stumbled back slightly, the ache in his chest growing at your cruel words. In the back of his mind he knew it wasn’t you saying these things but seeing you, hearing you.   The words were like bullets and your mouth a gun.   “(Y/N).. I know this isn’t you.” Steve leaned out to hold you but as he did, you cried out in pain.   Blood began spilling from your arm where a deep cut had now formed. Steve flinched as he looked down at his own hands, did he do that? He looked back up at you, your expression scrunched up in agony.   Blood was spilling from your corner of your eyes, bat bites forming on your body before him, “You couldn’t protect her, you led her to me.” Vecna’s voice boomed. Your eyes locked together, your face now full of fear, eyes glassy from the freshly formed tears.   “Steve?” You squeaked.   Steve’s face softened slightly, thankful for your change in demeanour but this was short-lived as the floor began to open up behind you.   “(Y/N)!” Still holding eye contact with Steve, the tentacle wrapped itself around your ankle and threw you to the floor. It began dragging you across the rugged terrain, tightening against your skin.   Steve wasted no time running after you but it was impossible to match your pace. You were headed straight for a darker, more sinister looking gate that assembled ahead of him.   Just like Lover’s Lake.   Steve yelled your name as you yelled his. It was like a different type of torture for Steve to watch this happen a second time, being so out of reach.   And that was it, you disappeared through the gate. You whole body engulfed and dragged under. Steve forced his legs to keep going, the burning in his body fuelling his need to save you. His heart sunk as the gate came further into view, it wasn’t the standard gory looking gate.   It’s appearance was shaped like a pond, water filled to the rim. Vecna’s laugh boomed across the terrain as he taunted Steve with the memory of what happened at Lover’s Lake. He watched as the water bubbled, your screams coming from deep within the water.   “Fuck it.” Steve dived in after you, not a single care in his mind. Whether this was a dream or not, guilt radiated through him. His thoughts being plagued by the scene of your battered body laying lifeless in the upside down. The bats picking at your limbs, fresh blood painting the ground around them.   He could feel his brain splitting as the water cascaded around his body, pulling him under. His thoughts became distorted at what sensations were real and which ones were fabricated. That’s until his eyes shot open and it was just you. The only person he wanted to see at that point, staring back at him.

<><><><><><><><><><><> 

Steve let out a pained gasp and collapsed backwards. You stumbled as you tried to prevent the fall, reaching out to Steve in haste.   “(Y/N), Is he okay?!” You heard Dustin yell from above. You looked up in panic, supporting Steve’s head as he laid lifeless on the trailer floor.   “I don’t know, I don’t know!” You shouted back up, brushing his hair out of his face, your fingers trembling. “Fuck Steve, what the hell is going on.” You whispered leaning down at his face, hiding your tears from the worried eyes above.   Your eyes shot open as you felt him fidget, which was then followed by a groan. Quickly, you wiped the tears escaping down your cheeks and gave him room to lean forward.   Dazed, he pulled himself up, with your help of course, “Steve, what the fuck, are you okay?” You blurted out in a quiet tone. His gaze landed on you, his eyes bloodshot.   “Yeah, yeah..” He murmured, lifting a hand up to his forehead. You looked up at the others, your face showing pure confusion.   Your eyes drifted to Steve’s once again, “Was it that Vecna guy?” You asked softly. He nodded, looking up at you. It felt different, as if he was staring through you, “What happened?” Steve briefly looked down, hesitating.   “He was there, saying things as if he was trying to dissect me.” You lightly touched his arm as a way of reassurance, “He was speaking about Nancy and then..” He paused, shaking his head, “I don’t know, it’s stupid. He’s just playing on my fears I think.” You took a deep breath and subtly pulled your hand away.   Your heart ached at the mention of Nancy, maybe you were being too naïve into thinking Steve could ever move on.   “Yeah, he’s probably just pissed off because we entered his sacred space and survived.” You joked, pushing yourself off the floor and helping Steve in the process.   You both looked up at the gate and sighed, “We aren’t out of here yet.” Steve commented tugging on the makeshift rope.   You rolled your torn up sleeves in anticipation, “Let’s not waste another second then.”

<><><><><><><><><><><>

part 2? lol of course I am looking at making a part 2! this was written at work when I had any free time, this has been in progress ever since season 4 was release D: hopefully the next chapter doesn’t take that long but unfortunately I cannot promise anything, thank you for reading <3

[uskomatontakinkohan]

I'm not catholic, but brother in Christ here is making a valid point. I live in a country where homosexuality is criminal and it makes absolutely no sense. If homosexuality is a crime then so should be any sex outside of marriage. But of course that is absurd. Keep sin and criminality separate. Rule as criminal activities only things that hurt other people and the society. As for sin, that should only concern practisers of the religion in question, and even then it should be between the individual and their God if it does not hurt others.

As for myself, I am having some serious cognitive dissonance: believing in the word of God very literally when it comes to commandments but at the same time I don't get what is so bad about being queer. Like I'm the number one consumer of queer media (pretty confusing for my algorithm).

Lately, I have been fearing damnation. Like I'm sure if God thinks (acting upon) queerness is a sin he would forgive and more so as these people did not choose to be queer. It is something that they were subject to by variables that are beyond their control. So why would God hate them? But then there is me: a very cis and straight(ish) woman who has no business consuming gay romance novels and movies. Like I do have a choice. So if this really is a sin then I am the one that is going to burn in Hell.

So I am now on a quest to find the truth: What does God really think? Because part of Christianity is to speak boldly about the TRUTH but if I am so torn how can I?

There are three scenarios of how this will end:

A. I will develop into a homophobic person full of hate condemning everything that moves and will have to sign myself out of internet forever because the internet is fucking gay.

B. I will find out that God in fact is very chill about queerness and actually, would want me to establish a rainbow church in my area and become a martyr for the just cause (I would definitely be imprisoned). Oh, and my husband would divorce me right there and then. Hell, my mother would disown me.

C. I will become an atheist and live comfortably the rest of my life freely liking what I like and promoting human rights. This option would also lead to divorce and disowning as default and probably would have to move out of this country.

D. I will figure out something else???

Well, I am expecting a lot of hate from both sides during this process so BRING IT ON BABY!!!

[qrowesque]

Obey me! brothers reacting to a MC with Tourettes syndrome

Including brothers Mammon, Levi, Satan and Belphegor

stole some of the headcanons in here from @nanamiharuka-1 who also requested this to be done

Mammon

first impression? he thought there was something wrong with MC or some kind of creature had possessed them

he complained to Lucifer of course

insert the face palm cuz lucifer told him to 'deal with it'

after teaming up with Levi to make the pact

Mammon stopped reacting as much to the MC's tics and got used to them

lmao rude ass bitch

he of course began to tease MC since he was forced into spending time with them

MC told him they would be absolutely perfect with a tic that kicks him

when Mammon started warming up to MC every time a demon would make a rude comment or talk behind their back about the tics or anything in general he'd beat their ass the severity depending on the comment

he would pat MC's head or show them affection when they felt insecure about their TS

and he would do his best to comfort and help MC even tho he probably wouldn't know what to do during an anxiety attack a tic had caused

"Don't worry about those other shitty demons, the Great Mammon is here to protect you!"

Levi

he wasn't too sure how to go about with MC's tics at first but since he's always been judged about being a 'disgusting otaku' he thought he'd just let them be instead of doing what he hates

sometimes he did go and purposely trigger the tics MC has to spite them

he was worried about the tics was because he didn't want to be caught 'hanging with a normie'

MC and him spent time together playing games or watching TSL

he loved every second cuz ~~he finally had a friend~~ he could make the normies understand why TSL is better than live action shows

Levi found it adorable how MC could sometimes pick up tics from the animes they'd watch together

"UWWWAAHHH THAT'S WHAT RURI-CHAN SAID ON EPISODE 24 OF *long ass anime title*"

tho he did really hate it when MC's vocal tics would happen during the animes he'd watch

because Levi has social anxiety he knew a good deal with how to help with anxiety and panic attacks

he would get MC to play games and watch animes they liked to help them calm down

of course MC got cuddles with Levi while binging animes

"Even if you can't stop your motor tics sometimes, it's fine. Lucifer has hit me 100 times harder."

Satan

ok at first Satan was a bitch about this

of course he knew about TS before MC had popped up

he's got a room made of books so nobody was surprised when he blurted "Oh, you have Tourettes syndrome." during introductions

but he's an angy boi so what did he do?

yeah he triggered MC's tics sometimes if he was in a bad mood or they got on his nerves

he wouldn't go out of his way to know what triggered which tic

but if he found out he'd make a mental note of it

he absolutely hated the motor tics

"Go take your tics to Lucifer and let me read in peace"

haha he wouldn't allow MC in his room for weeks after a tic caused a whole pile of books to fall

He got used to the tics since the two were forced to stay at the same home

the only time Satan was probably ok with them was when they managed to spill the tea Lucifer was drinking by accident

MC managed to fluster Satan from a 'nya' tic they had developed from watching too much anime with Levi

he's able to help with the anxiety attacks since he knows how to keep his emotions in check

he always made sure to comfort MC after and bought them a kitty coffee

he's always excited for the next time you cause trouble for Lucifer

"Wow Lucifer, that's a shame you can't hurt MC. Hopefully, they don't spill your tea on you again."

Belphegor

jesus fucking christ this bitch boy ran off of pure spITE from MC's tics

Belphegor would actively look for the causes and trigger MC's tics whenever he could

bonus points for him if it caused Lucifer trouble

at first he wanted to punt MC into the sun for many reasons

sometimes MC's tics would wake him up

"You have 3 seconds, start running."

Mc had to be saved from Belphie multiple times throughout their stay

when he learned how to cause MC to develop tics he would go out of his way to give them tics directed at Lucifer

one time while the brothers were having a seemingly too peaceful time during a meal Belphegor triggered one of the tics he gave MC

"Fuck you, Lucifer!"

"Belphegor, wHAT did you dO!?"

he and MC became partners in crime along with satan

Lucifer hate squad trio (but MC doesn't hate Luci they just do it for kicks)

Belphie tho would literally just either sit there while MC had an anxiety attack and say "cool" and leave or another real-life scenario of "Saving MC" would happen

tho once he started warming up to MC he wouldn't know what to do during the anxiety or panic attacks

but he would offer naptime cuddles after since MC must have been exhausted after

"Wipe your tears and come nap with me, MC. It's happened before and you live each time. Nothing bad will happen to you while I'm here."

-

If anybody wants to add any criticism to that, that'd be great since i dont deal with TS myself

[alirhi]

22

Title: Winter's Frost Chapter: 22/? Fandom: MCU Rating: R to be on the safe side Pairing: Loki/Bucky Summary: Loki never told anyone the real reason he became so obsessed with Midgard. Much better to let them think he wanted to hurt his brother than draw their attention to the one thing in the universe that makes the God of Mischief truly vulnerable. Notes: Due to massive levels of incoherent rage at the thought of what they did in Thor: Ragnarok, I have decided to pull from actual Norse mythology again. Everything after The Avengers has been erased in this fic, anyway, so fuck it. Hel and Fenrir are Loki's children as it always should be.

Loki sighed, head resting on Bucky's chest as he basked in the simple joy of hearing his beloved's heart still beating. "I hope you know that you're not allowed to ever die on me again."

"Technically, I haven't died yet at all."

He frowned, pinching Bucky's side and making him laugh. "I mourned you for nearly fifty years, James, and it almost destroyed me."

"Loki..." It was Bucky's turn to sigh as he pushed the Trickster off of him and they both sat up. "Serum or no serum, I'm still human. Eventually, I'm gonna grow old and die. That's just the way it works."

"I don't want you to." Feeling like a child, tears choking him that he refused to shed and Bucky's hands gripping his, Loki shook his head. "I can't lose you again."

With that sad smile he was so sick of looking at, Bucky squeezed his hands a little tighter. "You lived over a thousand years without me, Doll. You'll be okay. You've got Sigyn-"

"I hardly think that's relevant." Prying his hands loose, he wiped furiously at his eyes. "Especially since, if the oaf can't sway Odin, I'll likely never see her again, either. Or my other children."

It was truly beginning to sink in, just how much Loki had sacrificed in his mad scramble to rescue Bucky, and he could tell from the stricken look on his lover's face that it was hitting him, as well. A grown man – a God– and he'd behaved like a reckless child ever since he'd first discovered his soldier alive. He'd succeeded, at last, but at what cost? If his actions left him forever on the run from Asgard, he would never see his wife and sons again; his one consolation was that at least he had his daughters. Hel ruled her own realm and answered to no one, least of all Odin, and Eira... He would die before letting anyone take Eira away from him.

"Jesus, Loki..." Bucky winced, pulling him closer for a hug. "Nari, Fenrir... I'm sorry, I can't pronounce the snake's name-"

That got a half-hearted laugh out of the Trickster, and he laid his head on Bucky's broad shoulder. "Jormungandr. It's alright, love, I'm impressed you remember any of them."

"I get headaches," he admitted softly, "when I try to push too hard, but it's coming back." Arms tightening around the other man, he murmured, "There's a lot I'd rather never think about again, but I don't want to lose a single memory I have with you."

"Don't force it," Loki cautioned as gently as he could, bringing one hand up to tangle in that beautiful dark hair. "It will come back; a remarkable amount already has. Just be patient."

"...Nari," Bucky whispered, shaking his head. "Fenrir, Sleipnir, Jor...Jormun... Can I just call him Joey? I know that's not how the J is pronounced, but his name does start with a J, technically... Right?"

At that, Loki buried his face in Bucky's shoulder and laughed so hard he couldn't breathe. "I would pay to see the look on Jormungandr's face if he ever actually heard you call him Joey!"

"Loki, I'm being serious!"

"About 'Joey'?" He could hear the grin and the suppressed laughter in his beloved's voice, so he didn't feel bad for being unable to contain his hysterical laughter.

"About your kids." He didn't sound amused anymore. With a firm grip on Loki's shoulders, he pushed him back to look him in the eye, and the atmosphere instantly shifted. Expression pained, Bucky reminded him, "What you lost, for me... If you can't fix this, you'll lose your whole damn family. Did you think I was just reciting their names trying to remember them all for a fucking Christmas card or something? Eira's brothers, her sister, her step-mom... Your whole family, everything you built before we met... My God..."

"Yes." His attempt at a snarky, slightly cheesy retort fell flat even to his own ears, but Loki still tried. Prying one strong hand from his shoulder and cradling it between his own, he told him, "I am your God. As for my children... Sleipnir was already taken from me long ago. I'm not sure he even knows I'm his mother."

"Christ, Doll, that makes the rest of this worse!"

"I haven't 'lost' anything." Freyja, how he wished he believed what he was saying. All that mattered at the moment, though, was that Bucky believed it, and so he soldiered on. "Not yet. Odin is a stubborn old fool, but he is old. Worst case scenario, if I can't return home without ending up in chains while he lives, well... he'll die soon and Thor will take the throne despite my best efforts – I really had a lot on my plate when last the Sergeant and I met – and because he's sentimental and forgiving, I'll be welcomed back with open arms."

"'Home'?"

He blinked, confused. "What?"

For someone with such a remarkably expressive face, Bucky could, on occasion, be difficult to read. With the most curious look that Loki couldn't quite identify, he pointed out quietly, "You still call Asgard 'home.'"

He scoffed and shrugged. "Force of habit, I suppose. Best not to read too much into it, darling."

"Right." There was a brief moment of tense silence, and then Bucky, bless his strange mind, smiled and nudged him. "Look, thanks to the serum, I don't really get sick anymore. So as long as the purple menace doesn't lop my head off, you've still got decades before you have to worry about me croaking on you."

Though he appreciated the effort, Loki couldn't quite bring himself to share his love's optimism. After all, what were decades to a being who would live for millennia? Rather than point that out, though, he focused on the other troubling fact: "James, Thanos is dangerous."

"Why, because he kicked your skinny ass?" he teased. "Or, to be more accurate, his minions kicked your skinny ass. Did Thanos actually do anything? How do you know he wants anything nefarious with these magic doohickeys?"

"Because one man amassing ultimate power has never been for the benefit of others, no matter how they delude themselves for the sake of remaining the heroes in their own stories." Giving him a bland look, Loki grumbled, "One would think a World War II veteran would understand that better than most."

Still clinging desperately to his attempt at humor, Bucky shrugged. "Hey, I'm still holding out hope on the kitten theory. You can't deny the world would be a better place if everyone had their own adorable kitty to spoil."

Finally, finally Loki chuckled, shaking his head. "I'll tell you what, darling... Survive what's coming with sanity intact, and I'll get you a kitten myself."

Bucky snorted. "Oh, baby, the sanity ship has sailed. Are you kidding me?"

"The best you can manage, then," he amended with a soft, sad smile. "Just stay close to me, so I can keep you safe."

Watching the other man's expression crumble and all the humor immediately vanish as if it was never there at all, Loki wished he'd never spoken a word.

"No," Bucky told him quietly, but firmly. "I'm sick of constantly being rescued and protected."

"It's not that I think you're weak-"

"Do you remember what I told you when you wanted to stay and fight just so we could be together?"

He did, though he failed to see its relevance. Still, to prove to Bucky that he was paying attention, he dutifully recited his own words back to him. "'You're outside of all this and that's where I need you to stay.' But neither of us is 'outside' of this one-" He was interrupted by his lover snorting and rolling his eyes. "What?"

"Not that part." Shifting position slightly so that he and Loki were facing each other directly without either having to twist, he took the Trickster's soft hands in his own - one rough and callused, the other chilly and unyielding - and reminded him, "'You make me weak. If I see you out there, you'll get me killed.' Well, babe, this time neither of us gets to walk away, so we both need to be focused on the enemy, not each other. Don't waste energy trying to protect me. Having to protect Eira got you both captured. When the war comes, just fight it, and trust that I can look out for myself."

That was a terrifying proposition. Enhanced by mad science or not, Bucky was still only human. The thought of him standing alone and fighting Thanos or one of his psychotic minions with no powers was enough to make Loki sick to his stomach. Perhaps it would be best to leave Bucky in New Mexico with Darcy and Eira; after all, run-of-the-mill human dangers didn't simply vanish because a bigger threat loomed. They would need someone to look after them, as well, and Bucky could certainly handle some random thug looking to cause trouble.

He opened his mouth to suggest it, but his thoughts must have been showing on his face. A metal hand clamped over his mouth before he could utter a sound and Bucky snapped, "You're not sidelining me. Purple Space Hitler calls for all hands on deck, so deal with it."

With a sigh, Loki batted his hand away and shook his head. "You really are the most stubborn creature, James."

___________________________________________________

Next Masterlist

[coffee-obsessed-writer]

All In Good Time

Summary: Tired of seeing his best friend wallowing in whiskey after another disappointment, he finally confesses a well-kept secret.

A/N: Written for @spnfluffbingo2019 & @spndeanbingo. Please excuse the poorly written smut, it’s been a while since venturing down that path and I was constantly distracted but things OTHER than the smut at hand. Oh well, hope you enjoy it!

Square filled for SPN Fluff Bingo: Best Friends to Lovers

Squared filled SPN Dean Bingo: FreeSpace

Warnings: Mild angst, Smut (18+ ONLY), Language

WC: 5.3K

Tags at the end of fic. Gifs not mine, credit to owners.

“Drinking that isn’t gonna make it stop, you know,” Dean said as he sat on the stool beside you.

“Stop what?” you asked without looking in his direction.

“Whatever you’re trying to forget.”

“You think you’re so damn smart, Winchester.” You did not need Dean’s brand of pep talk at the moment.

“Because I am,” he smirked. “As my best friend you should know how smart I am, and that I’m right about ninety-five percent of the time.” He finally turned to look at you and raised his brow teasingly. “If I remember correctly, last time you were throwing them back this hard, you’d been dumped by that chucklehead, Rocco. Can’t believe you dated a guy named Rocco…” he shook his head, disappointed in your past choices and drank his beer.

“Bite me,” you growled and threw back the rest of the whiskey in the glass.

You held it up for the bartender to refill and when he came to do so, Dean placed his hand over the top of the glass and slightly shook his head with a frown.  

“Dean, don’t be a dick—”

“She’s good,” he said to the bartender, who took one look at you and agreed that Dean was right.

“What the hell?! I wasn’t done,” you snapped at him, incredulous about his decision that you’d had enough to drink. “I’m not even that drunk!”

“Yeah, you are.” Dean slid the glass out of your reach, keeping his eyes locked with yours only infuriating you more.

“Who the fuck do you think you are? I’m a big girl, Dean. We aren’t fifteen anymore and you don’t need to protect me from myself or anyone else for that matter.”

WHO did he think he was, anyway? This night sucked. You got stood up for the second time by some guy you really thought could be the one. You thought he nearly perfect, and he seemed to accept your job and lifestyle as well as understood that you were a fiercely independent woman. Clearly, you’d been wrong and, so what, if you wanted to drink away the anger and hurt you felt for being duped, again.

“Me?” Dean mused, and sipped at his beer, “Oh, I’m just the guy who has been looking out for you for your whole damn life. The guy who knocked out Trent Moore when he tried to feel you up in the back of Bobby’s car. Also, the same guy who made sure that your shit-for-brains mother didn’t get you killed when she was drunk and went after a poltergeist.”

“Great, thanks for those reminders,” you moaned and turned on your stool to face the room and lean both elbows back on the bar. “Look, if you’re not gonna let me drink, lay off the trip down memory lane, okay? Not in the mood.”

“Deal.” Dean swallowed the rest of his beer and stood from the stool. “Come on then. W can shoot pool, or go watch a movie… whatever you want,” he reached out a hand to help you up, but you swatted him away.

“No! Just go, man. Let me wallow.”

“You know what… you’re a stubborn ass bitch. Fine, wallow! I’m so fucking tired of watching you do this. Oh, and next time you need a savior, sweetheart, call Sam, cause I’m done playing your white knight!”

Dean’s face was twisted in frustration, anger, and hurt, which left you confused. In all the years you had known him, he never got this mad at you before and you didn’t understand what made this time any different.

He reached into his pocket and slapped down cash on the bar, then turned and headed straight for the exit. You felt shocked and frozen in place, watching him storm through the bar and out the front door. Dean had been your best friend for most of your life, and sure there had been arguments; many, many arguments. But never had he straight up yelled at you before and it wasn’t sitting right to leave things with him like this.

You brushed your feelings of wallowing aside and found a purpose to move off the stool. The alcohol you’d already consumed made you feel lightheaded at the sudden movement, but your concern over Dean’s departure took precedence. No matter how you felt, you could not let him leave like that.

 You found him in the parking lot. He was pacing back and forth in front of the Impala; his fists clenching and unclenching in sync with his jaw. You watched for a moment, hesitant to approach him in his current state. That’s when he looked up and saw you standing there. Unsure of what to say, you just shrugged. Your mouth fell open to speak but no words would come out.

Dean’s brow was still buried in frustration that was directed straight at you. It wasn’t like him to be this angry, not over you wanting to drink away the thoughts of another disappointment. Normally he joined in, helped you to bounce back by cracking jokes and getting drunk alongside you.

“I can’t with you right now, okay?” he grunted from under his breath. “Just go back inside.”

“Dean… I’m sorry. Whatever I said…”

He snorted a laugh and bite his lip. “You’re sorry. For what? You don’t even realize what you’re sorry for, do you?”

“No, I don’t. But clearly, I did something to piss you off. I never want to fight with you, Dean. Not really fight, anyway. So, whatever it was—”

“Fine, you wanna know? Really?” his voice rose with each word, his anger come through with each decibel.

Seeing him this way, and having it directed at you was not something you’d experienced before. Afraid that the wrong thing would make him angrier, all you could do was nod. Dean drew in a deep breath and closed his eyes. He was centering himself; he’d never admit that’s what he was doing, but it was. There was nothing you didn’t know about him. At least, you thought you knew everything about it.

“Since we were sixteen years old, any job we worked together, I watched you meet someone, hook up, and then get dumped. Each time, you ended up hurt, scared, or in a predicament that me or Sam had to rescue you from.”

His words stung and you wanted to be annoyed with him; but the truth was, Dean was right. There was nothing you could say that would help, so you remained silent and let him finish.

“For years, Y/N, years… We’ve worked together, killed some evil sons-of-bitches together… we’ve celebrated and mourned. We’ve drunk ourselves silly, and bandaged each other up, countless times...”

Dean paused, his entire body sighing as it released the built-up fury he had been holding onto. He unclenched his fists and took a few steps closer to where you stood.

“In all that time, I made some of the best memories of my life. Between you and Sam, you guys were my home. Everything good I can think of is wrapped up in you and my brother. So, you’ll have to excuse me if I am tired of seeing you get like that over yet another piece of shit asshole who can’t see how damn lucky he was that you even looked his way.”

You felt your stomach drop out, not because of what he said, but because of how he looked at you when he said it. Your mind flashed through a dozen scenarios where he had come to your rescue; with guys, monsters, your own mother and had even saved you from yourself a time or two. If it hadn’t been for Dean, you would have been dead years ago.

“I—I don’t know what to say other than, you’re right,” you said softly, the whiskey and culpability was still stinging in your throat. “I shouldn’t have depended on you for so long. I put you in these terrible situations, and—”

“Jesus Christ,” he muttered and brought his hand to his face, running it over his worn features. “You’re fucking clueless…”

“What now? I’m trying to apologize and tell you that you were right! What more do you want from me, Dean? What?!” You could feel your hands starting to shake, and a bubble of your rage starting to rise and your throat now on fire from the volume of your voice. “What the FUCK do you want from me, huh?!”

People passing by were starting to stare, so you closed the small bit of distance between you, ready to unload a little more without attracting a crowd. But when you got closer, Dean started to laugh.

“What the fuck is so funny?” you asked, breathing hard through your nose trying to simmer the boil of frustration.

“You. You look ridiculous when you get angry.” He was smiling now, not quite laughing, but the grin he wore was genuine and reserved for moments with people he trusted.

“You’re bipolar, Winchester,” you huffed, trying to contain your temperament.

Dean shrugged. “Maybe. But I think its more that you just drive me insane sometimes.”

“Oh sure, blame ME for your particular brand of crazy! I don’t know what to do any more here, man. I can’t do anything right with you, lately.”

“What the Hell does that mean?” Dean asked with a flare of insolence.

“The last three jobs we’ve worked? You barked at me for no reason. You’re short with me when I ask you to stop while on the road, you constantly ride me for shit that I have zero control over!”

“Then why do you stay, hm? Why not go off on your own? Hunt alone?”

“I’ve tried! You just keep finding me and taking me along to the next job! Friends don’t let friends hunt alone, remember?!”

Dean squeezed his eyes shut and drew in a deep breath. “I need a drink,” he said and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Shouldn't have closed out the bar tab,” you muttered.

“You know what—” he lifted his head, the look of aggravation back on his face. “I’m—this is—fuck it! God, you frustrate the shit out of me!”

In a moment’s time, Dean had your face in his hands and his mouth on yours. Your first instinct was to retreat, then slap him across the face. Quickly following that, was the sudden desire to kiss him back. There had plenty of times you discreetly watched your best friend from the corner of your eye when he didn’t realize you were looking. How could you not? Dean was a gorgeous man, but more than that, he was sexy and funny. He was basically every girl’s fantasy. From his green eyes and freckles, right down to his bowlegs and boots. He was cocky and arrogant, smart as hell, and had a smile that could only be described as the devil’s handiwork. But never, in a million years, did you imagine he would have any interest in kissing you. In more than twenty years together, he never once tried nor looked at you like he wanted too; at least from what you could remember.

Dean’s lips were soft, yet he used them roughly against you. Every time you felt yourself pull back in the slightest, he continued to draw you in. You were fully immersed now, and when his mouth parted, you found yourself kissing him back just as greedily. His hand circled around to your neck and tangled up in your hair, entwining his fingers in the wispy strands and gripping them tightly. It caused a rush throughout your body; partially because of the whiskey still flowing through your veins, and partially because it just fucking felt so good.

You moaned softly into his mouth involuntarily and you felt his lips unfurl into a slight smirk. He slowly pulled away from your lips but left his hand concealed in your hair.

“Get in the car,” he growled. “Please.” It was only to try and sound like he was being polite, but there was nothing well-mannered about the way he was holding you in his gaze. That’s when he released you completely, and there was no hesitation in your decision to get into the front seat of the Impala and leave with him.

Dean followed suit and got behind the wheel. He fired up the engine and before he put his most prized possession in gear, he reached out with his right hand and gripped your thigh. Sliding you closer to him, he kissed you again, gentle and wanting, leaving his hand to rest on your leg and kneading his fingers into your flesh as if he were a cat.

Without a word, he pulled back, put the car in gear, and speed off down the road to the motel you all had been staying at.

 The motel door flew open with a bang. Dean pulled you into the room and slammed it shut so hard that it rebounded off the frame and opened again. You took a few more steps into the room he shared with Sam, though Sam was nowhere to be seen, and watched as Dean made sure the door was not only locked, but the chain was up.

You were almost afraid to speak. Dean had this look in his eyes that challenged you to say something, anything he could use to prove whatever point it was he was trying to make. But you didn’t give in. You were too nervous and excited about what was going to happen; realizing for the first time how much you had wanted it to.

He stalked you; his green eyes, now full of lust and want, were affixed to his prey. Dean moved slowly from the door to where you stood. As he crossed the room, he removed his jacket and threw it in the corner by the window. Next, his flannel came off and was tossed in the same direction. His eyes never wavering from you.

The ripple of his muscles on his arms was prominent now that his body was tense and anxious. The closer he got, the more your heart began to pound. How could you not have seen this in him before; all these years attached at the hip never once did you realize he would be looking at you the way he was then.

“I wasn’t gonna have this conversation with you in the parking lot of some dive bar,” he said, and despite the edge to his demeanor, his voice was gentle and calm. “I wasn’t gonna tell you, how many times I wanted to kill some guy who had his hands on you in some bar. Or a random joker on a case we were working, trying to get you meet them for drinks--”

“Dean…”

He ignored you. “I wasn’t going to tell you how many times I came so close to telling you that I wanted to be that guy and…” he trailed off, now directly in front of you, the arms you had just been admiring reaching out for you.

“And, what?” you managed to ask despite the lump in your throat.

Dean leaned in and kissed you again, slipping his arms around the lower part of your waist. When you felt him lift your feet off the ground, you let him and locked your arms around his neck. He took a few steps towards the bed and put you back on your feet at the foot of it.

“All those nights I watched you eyeing up any other guy but me… I was starting to resent you for it. Tonight, I finally realized that it’s my own damn fault.”

Your arms were still up around his neck, your lips a breath apart. “What do you mean?”

Dean didn’t answer at first, instead, he took your arms off his neck, and slipped your jacket off, letting it fall to the floor and kicking it out of the way.

“I got scared to tell you, that you were the one I wanted to take home every night. I should have told you. Instead, I kept quiet, would watch you go off with someone else and then I end up going home with some mediocre stand-in that never seemed to measure up to you.”

You didn’t know what to say. He hadn’t ever given you an indication he thought of you like that. Not that you had looked at the Winchesters as brothers, but there was a closeness that you felt to them; Dean especially. Anything physical felt like it would be crossing a line you couldn’t come back from. It was scary to think of life without Dean and Sam, and if you DID cross that line, it could go wrong and eventually cost you their place in your life? That couldn’t happen.

“Now you know why I wasn’t gonna let you wallow over some guy, not again. You can go if that’s what you want. Certainly not going to make you stay here, but I really want you too, Y/N. Stay tonight. Give this a chance.”

He was pleading with you now, nearly begging with the crease of his brow and the hope in his eyes. You couldn’t leave, you didn’t want too. He had been in front of you this entire time, and the only thing you wanted to forget was how many nights had been lost that you and he could have been together.

There weren’t any words that would convey what you wanted, so you took action instead. You locked in with his gaze and began to shed your layers of clothes until you stood before him in only your bra and underwear. His tongue ran nervously over his bottom lip at the sight of you while his eyes drank you in. Dean reached out and ran his fingers from your shoulder and down across your collarbone, then let them drift down your cleavage.

You took the bottom of his shirt, and pulled it up over his head, throwing it off to the side. From there, everything happened in what felt like seconds. Dean was kicking off his boots and pulling off his jeans. He had you down on the bed, laying his weight on top of you, running his hands across your flesh, and letting his mouth explore your neck. He pulled down your bra, exposing your breast to the warm air of the motel room. Dean brought his mouth to your nipple, running his tongue over it, making your entire body shiver.

His other hand ran down the length of your body, and pawed at the hem of your panties, yanking them down and finding the hood of your sex. Just the promise of his touch, caused his name to moan from your lips.

“Say it again,” he growled lowly, moving his mouth back up to your neck.

“Dean, please…”

His fingers slipped down and moved against your clit, the sensation of which was overwhelming. He moved slowly, toying with it, and with each pass against your most sensitive place, caused your back to arch up into him, and him to smile with satisfaction.

Dean moved further down, and let his fingers easily slid up into you, and the more you reacted to his touch, the more his erection grew against your leg. You dug your nails into his back, then ran them down to the boxers he still wore. Yanking them down, he looked down at you and smiled.

“Look who’s all impatient now,” he teased.

“Fuck you, Winchester,” you moaned as he thrust his fingers up into you with a bit more force making you gasp with both surprise and pleasure.

“In a minute, honey, in a minute… waited a long time for this…”

Before you could respond, Dean kissed you, hard. His tongue taking control and swirling with yours greedily. It was all too much for your overstimulated body, and you felt yourself ready to cum. Dean knew it too, he could feel the fluttering warmth of you around his hand, and it only made him insistent to continue.

You forced your head back, arching your chest up to him and cursed as he suddenly pulled his hand from you, before your release could come to fruition. He stood from the bed and let his boxers fall to the floor, before going into his jeans pocket, retrieving his wallet and pulling out the condom he kept there.

You sat up on your elbows and watched him curiously. “Look who’s mister responsibility,” you teased.

Dean shrugged but flashed that damn smirk. “Told you, been waiting for this for a long time. No way I was going to come unprepared.”

While he was taking care of the necessities, you moved further back on the bed after slipping off your bra and underwear. Dean finally climbed on the bed next to you; your heart pounding and your sex throbbing for more of him. You moved him so he was sitting against the headboard, and you straddled his lap, positioning yourself over him.

Dean’s gaze was greedy, but the animalistic lust he had earlier was gone; now he just watched you close, as if burning the memory of this night into his memory forever. As you sank down, letting his cock slide up into you, Dean’s eyes fluttered closed as his head rolled back against the headboard and his fingertips dug into your hips. It took only a second for you to start rocking against him; moving your hips in slow, methodical circles. With each pass, his mouth fell open, and his breathing intensified.

“Jesus… Fuuuuck…” he growled when you ran your nail up his chest and clasped your fingers behind his neck.

You guided his head to your chest, where he took your breast in his mouth, licking and sucking at your nipple. The faster you moved, the hungrier he became. Your head rolled back, and your overstimulated clit was pulsating with each pass you made against him. Your mind was completely lost in the moment with him; nothing before him had ever felt this good, this right… this euphoric.

His hands were beginning to grip you harder, moving you faster while his eyes opened and locked with yours. You wanted to speak, encourage him to fuck you as hard and fast as he wanted, but you didn’t have to because he saw it on your face. Your climax was rising again, and when you finally came, he did too, moaning your name and burying his head between your breasts. You could feel him throbbing inside you, matching his release with yours. Then, sighing as both of your muscles relaxed and you melted into each other.

A thin sheen of sweat coated both your bodies, as you cradled him against you. No rush to move off him, nor did he want that either. Dean lifted his head and reached his lips up to yours, as his hands slid around your waist and down over your ass.

“Worth the wait?” you asked, nearly breathless but smiling down at him.

Dean chuckled and moved his one hand up to brush a patch of sweaty hair from your brow. “And then some.”

You kissed him gently, then moved off his lap, falling to the bed beside him with a sigh of satisfaction. Dean reluctantly got up from the bed and excused himself to the bathroom. He was only gone a minute and leaped back into the bed next to you, attacking your neck with his mouth. Though you were exhausted, your body was still reeling from being with him. Forget the physical sensation, but the emotional one was all your mind could focus on now.

Dean Winchester, he had been your best friend for more than twenty years. He was the one you sought out for advice, he was your hunting partner, your drinking buddy, your partner in crime and in shenanigans. Now, was he really going to be your lover, too? Could you see yourself being with him like that? Risking a lifetime of friendship for the possibility of falling in love?

You wanted to say something, but not ruin the moment either. Instead, you just let yourself go, and tried not to think about it. Dean had the covers pulled up over you now, and rolled you onto your back while trailing light kisses along your shoulder.

“You okay with all this?” he asked, his expression turning serious.

“If you’re asking if I regret it, no, I don’t. But what is all this, exactly?”

“Whatever we want it to be. There’s no rules here, Y/N. You know, besides my brother, you’re the most important person in the world to me. And, yeah… I’ve wanted you for a long ass time. But I don’t want you to feel pressured.”

“Pressured into what?”

Dean considered for a moment and tried to choose his words carefully. “Being with me. Just me. If that’s not something you want—”

“Shut up,” you interrupted and sat up on one elbow. “I’m good right here with you, Dean. Doesn’t need to be defined. I realize now all those others were just a placeholder for you, too.”

“You really mean that?”

You nodded and kissed him. “Really.”

Dean settled back into the bed and drew you into the crook of his shoulder. You laid there wrapped in his arms, just breathing him in and relishing in this sudden turn life had taken when you heard the door start to open. The chain caught it and you pulled the covers up to your neck just as Sam’s face stuck through the crack in the door.

“Dean! Come on man, let me in,” he whined.

Dean looked to you and chuckled when he saw your expression. “You good?”

You nodded slightly and sunk down into the bed, pulling the covers over your head. You barely had time to register that you and Dean just had mind-blowing sex and were now discussing being a thing, but you had to contend with Sam, too?

“One minute,” he called out, and Sam shut the door.

Dean grabbed his boxers and jeans, slipped them back on and went to let his little brother in.

“Sorry, I was uh… entertaining,” Dean smirked and raised his eyes brows in triumph as Sam walked into the room.

“Man, seriously? Can’t you get your own room for that?”

“Sorry little brother, these things can’t be helped.”

Sam looked around and saw the mess of clothes all over the floor, then noticed your breathing lump beneath the covers.

“Dean,” he said through gritted teeth. “Your company is still here.”

“She sure is.”

“Hi Sam,” you spoke up sheepishly through the blanket over your face. “How’s it going?”

“Y/N?!” he gasped, his eyes wide with shock as he whipped his head around to look at his brother, who nodded still wearing his victorious smile. “Jesus…” Sam sighed and shook his head. “Well, damn, its about damn time. Geez. I just don’t get why you guys couldn’t have went to her room?”

“What?” you asked, sitting up and uncovering your face. “What does that mean… about time?”

Sam’s face immediately blushed when he realized you were completely naked under the sheets. He turned his head and stuttered his response. “It’s—it—it’s just that… you and Dean, this has been coming for a while and—” he smacked himself in the head for his choice of words. “Dammit. You know what I mean. You know what, I’m gonna go… I can’t be here right now.”

“Take my room, Sam. Key is in my jacket pocket. And don’t worry, this doesn’t change anything. I promise I’ll still let you ride shotgun.”

Sam rolled his eyes, then quickly turned to grab your coat from the floor and retrieved the key before he made a quick exit from the room. Dean was snickering at his brother as he slammed the door behind him and could be seen nearly sprinting away down the walkway towards your room.

“So, that just happened,” you groaned and fell back to the bed.

“I wouldn’t worry about Sammy, he’ll take it all in stride.” Dean came back and laid down on top of the covers next to you. “Like he said, it’s been coming for a while.”

“In your mind, maybe,” you said quietly and cast your eyes away from his scrutiny. “I never thought you even considered me like this. You were always eyeing up some other girls, talking about this one or that one…” you shrugged, and sat up straight against the headboard.

“I was trying to make you jealous. Guess I was too much of a coward to just be upfront about it,” he paused and swallowed hard. “You were it, though. The one I always thought that would be there in the end.”

“Is that what this is? The end?”

“End of one thing, beginning of another,” he smiled and leaned over to leave a kiss on your shoulder. “Still friends though. That’s always gotta come first because no matter what, you’re stuck with me.”

You felt an odd sense of relief in knowing that this friendship cultivated over two decades would remain and come first. “I can handle that.”

“Good. Now. Can you handle getting your clothes back on? You see, this chick I’m sleeping with distracted me from the burgers on the menu at the bar and I’m starving. She was being a sloppy drunk, I had to get her home--”

You raised your fist like you were going to punch him and he rolled away from you. But your arm hooked around his waist in time to prevent him from getting off the bed. You forced him back to where he was and quickly straddled him again. That look of lust was already back in his eyes as you grabbed his wrists and pinned them back up against the headboard.

“I may have been drunk, but I can still pin your ass down.”

“Unfair advantage when you’re naked and I’m weak-willed.”

You dove down to his neck and left a rough, biting kiss there. “Still want that burger?”

He shook his head and a mischievous gleam glistened in Dean��s eyes. In one swift motion, he had you flipped on your back while he hovered over you and used part of his weight to hold you down. He trailed his mouth down your chest and across your abdomen and positioned himself between your legs. Still sensitive from your first encounter with him, the touch of his tongue against your clit caused a whole body shiver to course through you.

“Fuuck, warn a girl, would ya?” you mewed as your hands gripped each side of his head to try and control him as he lavished your sex with his tongue.

Dean wrapped his arms under your thighs and then pinned them open further, giving him as much access to you as he could get. Your hips moved with him, your moans louder and louder with each pass of his teeth and tongue. This time when you finally came, he refused to let go, drinking you in until your body went limp with exhaustion.

You watched him through the hazy afterglow, sit up and wipe his face clean with the sheet, leaving behind only that triumphant grin.

“Now, I’m ready for that burger,” he winked. “Wanna grab a shower with me real quick? Go find some grub?”

Still, in a daze from everything, you were able to give him a smile and nod, because words just wouldn’t come. Dean helped you up off the bed but held into your hand for a moment.

“Still feel good with all this?” he asked, his features softer than normal.

“Yeah, Dean. More than good. Best I’ve felt in forever, actually.”

“Alright then. Shower, burgers, bed,” he said, picking you up and throwing you over his shoulder as he walked towards the bathroom. Though you playfully smacked at his back to put you down, you never wanted him to let you go. You never wanted to spend another night without him.

Everything tags: @kazosa // @sorenmarie87 // @lefthologramdeer // @his-paradox // @letsby // @thefaithfulwriter // @sister-winchesters99

Supernatural tags: @wings-of-a-raven // @negans-wife // @mrsbarnes-rogers // @teller258316 // @spnhollis // @sweet-things-4-life // @hobby27 // @sweetlythoughtfulbird // @theoriginalvicki // @dreamchester67 // @xxwarhawk // @babykalika2001 // @superwhovainfangirl // @toobusynerdfighting // @missihart23 // @idreamofplaid // @thewinchesterchronicles // @waywardgypsy // @closetspngirl // @fatestemptress // @rebelminxy // @22sarah08 // @witch-of-letters // @cole-winchester // @rainflowermoon // @adoptdontshoppets // @waywardvalkyrie // @fandomoniumflurry // @blackcherrywhiskey // @jessieray98 // @lyoly // @a--1--1--3 // @31shadesofbrown // @whereismyangel-damnitdeanshare // @pilaxia // @screechingartisancashbailiff // @kgbrenner // @holylulusworld // @deansenwackles // @jamielea81 // @coffeebooksandfandom // @logical-princey // @gemini0410 // @salt-n-burn-em-all // @collette04 // @mrswhozeewhatsis // @deathofmissjackson // @lauravic // @akshi8278 // @katehuntington // @81mysteriouslyme 

[blehbleehhhh]

I Hate You, Mikasa ft. Eremika<3

Hiiiiiiiii. This is what I wish would have happened after that depressing conversation. Enjoy the angsty lemon ya filthy animals!

Also, thank you to those who are complimenting my writing and suggesting stories! Sorry if the spacing is fucked .-.

“Ever since I was a kid, Mikasa, I always hated you.”

His horrifically spiteful words reverberated through her mind, penetrating every cell and every fiber of her being as they ripped her apart. That four letter word. Hate. Exact opposite of the four letter word she's dreamed to hear from Eren for years. He hates me? Mikasa's lips quivered as she leaned back against a nearby tree and tried to center her breathing. That conversation left her sick to her stomach with a bitter taste in her mouth. Over and over again, she repeated those words like a mantra: 'Ever since I was a kid, Mikasa, I've always hated you.' Wiping the single tear off her cheek, she blinked back what’s nearly overflowing and stared out over the big empty field before them with a pit in her stomach.

Meanwhile, Armin lay on the grass, slowly running his fingers through the overgrown vegetation and let out a long, drawn out sigh. There aren't many things that make him seethe with rage, but listening to the way Eren absolutely berated their best friend caught him so off guard, he wasn't able to stop his fist from slamming into his jaw. Off the top of his head, he can think of many occasions where Eren had pushed her away before some major event took place. Though he knows his friend will never admit it, he most certainly does love Mikasa more than family, and he is capable of having romantic feelings for someone. But Eren has never been very good at communicating with her, at least through words. The distinct sound of Mikasa's deep, self soothing sigh yanked him from his train of thought; and taking a chance look to the side, his fears were confirmed, she's definitely trying not to come undone and it's taking all of her not to burst into tears right now.

"Mikasa, look at me," Armin sighed. "You know he doesn't hate you, right? He-"

"I don't know. That was a very convincing performance."

"You're the most important person in his life. If Eren hates you, then Lance Corporal Levi is terrible at his job. I don't think he'd do something like this without a good reason."

"Are you trying to excuse what he said, Armin?"

"What? No! Why do you think I slammed my fist into his fucking jaw! Just-" The blonde sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers. These two are impossible. "Let him come to you like always."

"Something tells me he won't."

"He will. He always has, why would this time be any different?"

"Maybe he really is tired of me, Armin. I-I..." Mikasa's eyes stung as they welled up with tears, but she blinked them back and adjusted her 3DMG, straightening up her barely messy uniform. "I'm gonna go." She turned on her heel for the women's dormitory as calmly as possible, ignoring the concerned voice that called out her name.

Hate. Hate.

Suddenly, Mikasa stopped dead in her tracks

and pursed her lips together, looking up at the late evening sky; eyes filled with tears of agonizing heartache. What's the point? Why even try fighting back the tears? Everything that happened between her and Eren, all of those bitter words that tore her heart and soul into shreds, really were spoken. Crying wouldn't solve shit. She covered her mouth with her hand and sobbed as quietly as she could, leaning on a nearby tree for support. But something in her snapped, and she started mercilessly punching the trunk of the tree without even single care that the bark is tearing apart her skin as a blood curtailing, heart wrenching cry escaped her lips until she felt her lungs run out of air. She's not even sad anymore. Now, she's just angry.

However, little did she know, Armin had tracked Eren down to his usual spot located outside the main building, very far from anyone nearby. He's sitting on a rather large rock, snapping and peeling old, dead twigs. Eren heard the crinkling of leaves under his friends feet and knew without turning around exactly who it was. "I hope you're happy," Armin's voice is stern, full of disdain. "Using the quote-unquote freedom you proclaimed to have so you could hurt Mikasa." But he still didn't turn to face him, only ceased his twig snapping and drag his hand down his face.

"Do I look like I'm happy?"

"Do you have any idea how you made her feel, Eren? You made her doubt herself as a person. As a human being." He spat through his teeth, resisting the urge to punch him again. His blood was already boiling and this truly isn't helping. "It's only a matter of time until she fucking cracks because someone who swore to protect her just said he hates her, and supposedly has their entire friendship."

"Ha! I don't need to protect her," Eren snorted and shook his head, throwing the shredded twig remnants aside as he finally stood to his feet, turning around to face who is criticizing him. "She clearly does that just fine by herself."

"Right, and you're lucky she's so dedicated to keeping your sorry ass alive. Go fucking talk to her." Armin pointed in the direction she went off in and stormed off, probably to find some quiet place to think or read a book. Eren shook his head in contempt and briefly ran through possible scenarios in his head, what her reaction will be when she sees him. He's already heard this from Levi. Something along the lines of, 'You moron. I told you to keep to yourself, not treat your friends like dog shit. Be a man and go apologize.' It did break his heart to say those things to her, but it needed to be done. Eren has never claimed to be oblivious to the possibility that she could die protecting him and fighting for the lives of their comrades, in fact, it's something he's been very aware of since she so willingly followed him into the military against his wishes. The thought of losing Mikasa has him all sorts of fucked up because, in reality, he knows that he can't live without her. But if it's to keep her safe, he's willing to do anything, even if that means breaking her heart.

When he finally found her, Mikasa was leaning up against a tree, watching the colorful skyline turn the last bit darker as the sun set. Armin was right, she's definitely holding back, he can tell from the way she occasionally looks up at the heavens and blinks profusely. But then he saw her fists, how cut up and bloodied they are, and that's when the guilt really started to set in. Stay strong. It's for her own good, right? Her usually fair, milky completion is tinted a light shade of pink from holding back tears and releasing pent up rage at the tree, her eyes filled with nothing but pure anger as she tried to control her breathing. Finally meeting his ever stoic gaze, she timidly crossed her arms on her chest and didn't even wince when her bloodied fists were bumped in the process. "Leave. Leave right now." And just like that, his blood was boiling.

"There you go again, bossing me around!"

"God, Eren! I can't do this with you anymore!"

"What are you talking about?!"

"You want me to leave you alone and stop babying you so badly?!" Mikasa swallowed hard and looked off to the side, blinking profusely as her eyes filled up with tears. "Fine. I'll protect you on the battlefield because that's my job, but you don't need to worry about me getting involved anymore. I'm -" She let out an exasperated, frustrated chuckle. "I'm done."

"Now, hold on a second," He caught her by the arm and struggled to maintain his own composure. "I never said that I didn't want anything to do with you. That's you putting words in my mouth and I fucking hate it when you do that!"

"You hate it when I do anything, Eren! Mikasa, stop babying me, Mikasa I'm not your little brother or your son, fuck off, or my new personal favorite, Mikasa, I'VE ALWAYS HATED YOU SINCE WE WERE KIDS!" Her cry had a heavy effect on the air around them, saturating it with hurt and anger. “You’re such a fucking liar!”

"Oh, don't be so fucking petty!"

"Really, Eren? You're the last person who should be calling someone petty!"

"Dammit, Mikasa!" He grabbed her by the shoulders and gave her a few shakes. "You're gonna get yourself killed!"

"So are you, suicidal maniac! If anyone gets me killed, it'll be -"

"Don't," Eren whispered, biting the inside of his cheek. "Don't you say it."

"If I get killed, it'll be your fault because I was undoubtably saving you from doing something reckless!"

"God dammit! Why do you think I want you to stay the hell away from me?!" Eren spat, her eyes widened at his words. "I wouldn't be able to live with myself if you fucking died. It's my job to protect you and I'm not strong enough to shield you from death! Stop throwing yourself into the line of fucking fire for me!"

"How do you think I feel when you charge out without any assistance, Eren? We're all worried about dying! We're in a war for Christ's sake!"

"A war where a select group of people, including you, has to make sure I don't die so I can save humanity. What's the point in doing that if -" Eren stopped himself, carefully weighing all possible outcomes of what he's about to say. "What's the point in living through this hell if you fucking die?!" Mikasa blinked tears from her eyes and furrowed her brows. He's never said anything like this.

"W-what? What are you saying?"

"I," Eren sighed. "I don't see any point in going on if you aren't alive. Even if you hate me for doing this, I'll always-" Fuck. How does she always manage to pry information out of him like this? He groaned and gripped her shoulders tighter. "I'll always love you." She knit her brows together as tears began to roll down her rosy cheeks, using all of her strength in attempt to squirm out of his grasp, only to fail.

"NO!" Mikasa sobbed. "No, NO! Don't say things like that while trying to push me away, Eren!" Her voice cracked, hoarse from fighting back tears and screaming in his face. Eren anxiously shuffled his feet and wrapped his arm around her waist, cradling her cheek in his hand. She didn't even flinch.

"Will you shut up and listen to me?! I've always been in love you!" Their lips crashed together, gliding at a pace they can just barely keep up with. At long last, the feeling of being in his arms for something more intimate than a hug isn't just a dream, gazing into his eyes during their brief breaks for air is more than a fantasy, because this time it's all real. Mikasa sighed softly in his mouth as tears finally stream down her cheeks, invading their tastebuds and deeply passionate kiss. It made him feel even more guilty, so he pulled her close to deepen their kiss, breathing in the scent of her lavender soap as she curled her fingers into his shirt and, much to her disappointment, the warmth from his lips was abruptly taken away. But after that, just breathing in the sweet smell of his breath and staring into those guilt ridden, emerald eyes is more than okay. No words needed to be spoken in this moment because, once again, Eren had managed to distract her from whatever negativity is occurring around them, even though those feelings exist from his actions to begin with. She could taste his anger, bitterness, fear, and complete and utter regret in his kiss; this was a sufficient apology in her book. "Wanna stay with me tonight?" His voice made her knees weak, and his question made her stomach explode in a warmth that send a throb between her legs.

"Gods, yes..." She breathed to his lips and kissed him once more, gently pulling those soft, addictive lips back to hers to kiss him deeply and passionately once more.

————————————————————

Mikasa rummaged through the drawers of his dresser for a set of matches and lit the two candles sitting on the dresser, then the one beside the bed, bathing the otherwise dark room in a warm, soft glow. Much to her amusement, he can't keep his hands off of her: they're rubbing circles on her ass and hips, or in her shirt massaging her breasts. In the candlelight, she watched his fingers unbutton her shirt and expose her chest, squeezing both of her breasts for the first time. He spun her around and immediately buried his face in her neck, softly kissing her skin as she rushed to unhook her bra and drop it on the floor. "I'm so fucking sorry." His whisper nearly made her melt into a puddle, especially when he looked up into her eyes and reached up to wipe the tears from her cheeks.

"Eren..." The warmth from his lightly calloused hands gliding across her skin gave her an immediate relief of any emotional pain. Mikasa wrapped her arms around his neck and jumped up to capture his waist between her legs, crashing her lips against his and sending him into overdrive. One minute, he had her up against the wall, and the next she's laying in his bed, getting her neck nibbled and suckled on by the only person she's ever desired to do so.

"You're mine. Do you understand?" He breathed to her skin as his lips tenderly kissed her neck, and when her hands reached between them to free him from his belt, he looked up into her eyes to see she'd simply teared up more.

"Please don't leave me..." Mikasa bit her lip as her voice quivered. She was trembling now, bringing their lips together in a desperate attempt to avoid having a panic attack. The need to feel him close to her has always been a source of comfort but, right now, she seriously cannot get enough of him. Eren noted how much more passionate this kiss is, how she swiped her tongue across his bottom lip to entice him, how she curled her fingers in his hair to pull him in closer, even though he's already laying right on top of her. Their lips only parted for a moment so he could sit up to remove his shirt, granting her the privilege of admiring his body with her fingers, tracing the dips and ridges of his impressive abdominals as their lips come together again. Her hands reached down to free him from his trousers and boxers, rushing to pull them down to his knees. "I need to hear you say that you're never going to leave me, Eren," she whispered to his lips with desperation and fear evident in her voice. "SAY IT!" Her cry came out a little louder than intended as he gently set a hand on her cheek, slowly rubbing her bottom lip his thumb.

"I'm never going to leave you."

"Again..." Mikasa's voice is almost a whimper as the feelings from that horrific conversation invaded her mind, forcing her to engage in yet another battle with herself over negative emotions. She bit her lip and reached down between them to pull her dampened panties to the side, watching his eyes as he slowly glided through her wetness.

"I'm never going to leave you," Eren breathed to her lips and waited for a hint that he could enter, burying himself deep within the eager, soaking heat between her legs. "I promise." She wrapped her arms around his neck and raised her hips slightly to indicate that she was ready for him to move, taking a sharp inhale as a tear rolled down her face. "I'm so sorry that this hurts..." Eren whispered, slowly moving against her. Eventually, her eyes rolled back and she let out a soft moan, finally feeling intense pleasure instead of sharp pains. Mikasa reciprocated his thrusts and pressed her lips to his, pleased to feel him return her kisses as they grew faster in pace, sending soft whimpers and cries into his mouth. Though they may not be speaking with words, his actions have more than conveyed any regret. And as he buried his face in her neck, kissing, nibbling, and suckling on the skin he'd been longing to touch for so long, they became one in the same. She slipped her hands up into his long, soft, chocolate brown hair and held his hips as close as she could with her legs. Pulling away just enough to feel the heat from his quiet, rapid breaths on her lips, Mikasa's insides trembled, and she moaned loud enough that he was forced to kiss her again so they won't get caught. But then she wrapped one leg around his low back and bent the other so she could press her foot into the mattress. And then, she started riding him from below, making him groan into her mouth and pull away. "Fuuck..." He's surprised that he's lasted this long being his first time as well, because surviving her orgasm and not coming was hard enough.

Pressing his lips to hers, he slammed into her and gripped her breasts in both hands. It wasn't long until they were sharing an overwhelming orgasm, Mikasa moaned helplessly into their kiss and ground her hips against him, writhing underneath his body, yet Eren just kissed her harder as he pulled out, quickly pumping his cock until he finished coating her stomach. He pulled his lips away from hers with a decadent smack and tenderly kissed down her neck. Mikasa slowly ran her fingertips along his back and relaxed the leg she has around his waist, holding him in a close embrace. "I love you so much."

"I love you too." Eren breathed to the smooth skin of her neck and smiled when he inadvertently discovered her favorite spot to have kissed. She moaned softly and leaned her head the opposite way to grant his lips more space to explore. Depending on how hard he suckles or nibbles here, those moans turn into soft cries of pleasure with the occasional giggle. But then he heard her sniffling as quietly as she could, almost certainly in attempt to prevent herself from getting hysterical. Eren looked up from her neck and frowned; her eyes are flooded with tears and she just looks so sad. "Hey, hey, hey," he kissed her softly on the lips. "What's wrong?"

"You -" Mikasa covered her face with her hands and wiped her eyes. "You're leaving me in a couple of y -" she swallowed hard, her eyes becoming blurry in the process. Eren sat back as he pulled her onto his lap, and wrapped his arms around her to muffle any nearly hysterical cries in the crook of his neck.

"This is what I was afraid of if I caved in and talked to you," He whispered, softly kissing her shoulder. "I know 5 years isn't long. But now we can hopefully spend any moment we aren't supposed to be doing something else, together. Good things don't usually happen to us, but, with Hange's growing knowledge on titans, maybe she can cure the shifters." He held her body flush to him and felt his heart break even more when her body started to shake.

"Eren..."

"We just have to make the best out of the time we have left together. That's all we can do."

"I always wanted to raise a family with you, Eren. And now that I have you, you're -" Mikasa's barely intelligible words were interrupted with a kiss that sent a warm throb between her legs. She placed a hand on his cheek and melted in his arms, surrendering to him completely as he slipped his tongue in past her lips to fight with hers for control of her mouth. Their lives aren't fair, but that's just how things are now that they are in the middle of a war. Comrades are brutally murdered on the battlefield constantly, that's horrific enough as it is, but the idea of living without the other is a thought that is simply too much to bear. However, in his case, Eren also has his concerns about how she'll go on after his passing, especially after tonight; he knows he'll have to make sure someone he trusts will take care of her. For now, Eren will spend any free time that he has putting bandaids on wounds that will inevitably be ripped open again in a few years time.

Mikasa slowly stirred her hips, rubbing her slick heat on his hardening cock, she angled herself for him to slip inside and moaned softly into their kiss. She allowed him to guide her on his length, grinding her hips faster and faster without any care of the dull pain from losing her virginity. But then his mouth abandoned hers and settled on one of her breasts, suckling gently on the hardened nipple. "Ohh, Erennnn.." She breathed in his ear and rested her cheek on his head, raising her hips up and down his length at a steady pace that elicited a groan from deep within his gut. Her inner walls contracted around him as she came, squirming and grinding her hips faster in response. But she didn't stop after this, no, she pushed him down on his back and continued with riding him. Eren grunted as his hands came to a stop on her hips, curving them around to grab the ass he just realized he's obsessed with.

"Fuck..." He groaned, and watched her lean down as her hands slipped under his pillow, burying her face in his neck. Eren pressed down on her hips, and she moaned in his ear as she reached another orgasm. "Mika, I'm gonna-" Immediately she raised her hips, just in time for him to finish on the outside of her pussy. Satisfied at last, she rolled off of him and curled up into his side, resting her head on his chest as he wrapped an arm around her waist. "Mikasa?"

"Hm?" Nuzzling her nose into the side of his neck, she finally allowed her lips to curve into a smile.

"I meant what I said, about always loving you. I truly believed I was doing the best thing for you."

"I already forgave you. I think you've more than made up for being a jackass," Mikasa was still smiling when she sat up to look into his eyes, now full of compassion and understanding. "Please, stop pushing me away and let me be a part of your life again, Eren." He placed a hand on the back of her head and gently brought her in to plant a series of kisses on her lips that made her smile.

"I would be honored if you'd let me spend the rest of my life not pushing you away."

"Good." Mikasa breathed to his lips and kissed him again, drowning herself in the new taste that is Eren.

[moonlightyoongles]

Trainee - Scenario

{Summary}

How you met BTS if you were a trainee

{Genre} : Fluff

{A/n}

Hi, before you begin I know I’ve been inactive but I have an idea I’m working on so please hold on while I sort everything out (It’s going to be a surprise ;) ) anyway please enjoy! ~

                                                          Jin

You were walking down the hall because you needed to get to the main hall which was where all the trainees were being asked to go. You were wearing a bright pink hoodie so it was clear to you that you stuck out quite a bit. You were minding your own business when you felt yourself tumble to the ground.

"I'm so sorry! Are you okay?!" The man yelled as he checked all over you for injuries. You chuckled at his actions and reassured him that you were okay.

"I'm so sorry once again, here take this," The strange man wrote down something on a piece of paper and handed it to you. "If you need anything don't hesitate to call! Also, love your hoodie!" He grinned as he began to walk off. Before he could turn the corner he turned around to yell at you. "By the way, I'm Jin." He gave you a flying kiss. You chuckled once again and put the piece of paper in your hoodie pocket. You were definitely going to text Jin straight after the meeting.

Once the meeting was over you walked back to the practice room. To your surprise, you saw Jin scrolling on his phone.

"What a surprise to see you here," You said while walking next to him. He was confused for a second before finally noticed you.

"Hey! Ummm..." Both of you then realised that you hadn't given Jin your name yet. "Oh! It's (Y/N)!" You replied, giving him a smile. He nodded as a response and finally switched his phone off.

"You know, by texting I didn't mean coming to find me again," He said jokingly, you laughed at his statement but just shrugged.

"Why would I wait to spend my time with such a handsome man?".

                                                     Yoongi

You were bored, you couldn't deny that and after everything you tried to do to keep yourself occupied, nothing worked.

You laid down on the floor of the dance practice room starfish style flat on your face. "I'm so bored~" You let out to no one in particular, failing to actually do anything.

You were a dance trainee but you couldn't come up with anything for a new choreography you had to present. Because of your constant whining, you failed to realise the second presence that lay beside you.

"Why are you bored?" The deep voice questioned while you fiddled with your bottle. "There's nothing to do and I have no ideas for my choreo," you said, oblivious to the man beside you. "Why don't you go outside?", "Too much work~" You rolled over to face away from the man. "I understand, but you've got to come up with something. How about we just mess around, that may give you inspiration, always works for me."

You took the man's words into consideration, you shrugged, it doesn't hurt to try. You stood up abruptly, finally noticing the guy beside you.

You couldn't deny he was good-looking, scratch that he was gorgeous. After actually seeing his face, you could not contain your thoughts.

"Jesus Christ, you're fucking hot..." You covered your mouth as soon as the words left your mouth. "I'm so sorry!" You immediately apologise, bowing in the process. The man showed a gummy smile before shaking his head.

"Don't worry about it, I've heard it a million time before but somehow it means more coming from you," You blushed at his compliment almost forgetting the task at hand. "Shoot! The choreo!".

With help (and a bit of messing around) you managed to come up with something decent to show at your next dance assessment thanks to your newfound friend.

"I never did catch your name by the way," The man began, slowly sliding down the glass mirrors to sit on the floor.

"I never threw it," You joked as you sat next to him, handing him one of the two water bottles in your hand.

"Ha, ha!" He said sarcastically, you rolled your eyes at his response. "It's (Y/N) by the way," You drank your water.

"Name's Yoongi but you can call me Genius,"

"Nice to meet you Mr Genius!".

                                                    Namjoon

Your mentor thought it would be a good idea to allow you to wander the halls of the company since you had free time. You were excited as you haven't had the chance to see all the rooms in the building. Of course, you were lectured to stay away from the other occupants who inhabited the building but your curious self-began to randomly open doors to see where they led.

After a while, you had discovered various rooms that held different specifications, like the snack room, printing room, computer room etc. You happened to notice a door that looked different from the others. As you were interested in what the room held, you turned the knob to meet a man who seemed to be busy with something.

As soon as you had realised his presence he had already turned around to look at you.

"Why are you in my studio?" He questioned while taking off the headphones he was currently wearing. You froze, for all you know this guy could get you kicked out of your dream company.

"U-umm, I-I was just wondering where the bathroom is?" You let out, the tone of your voice made it seem like it was more like a question but the mysterious man bought it anyway. He chuckled at you and began to stand up, and sure was he tall.

"Sure, I'll take you there," Since you were so nervous, you failed to realise how soothing the man's voice was. "By the way, I'm Namjoon. I''m in the group BTS as well as being one of the producers." You nodded absentmindedly while following him. "I'm (Y/N), a trainee!!" You let out proudly, puffing out your chest in the process. He smiled at you.

 "Nice to meet you (Y/N)!" This was when you fell in love with his dimple smile. 

                                                       Hoseok                           

You've just survived from an all-nighter because of your deadline for a piece of music you had to submit to your mentor for today and you could not wait to crash at your dorm.

You exited the Producing Room with bags under your eyes. You were tired and hungry, a very bad combination when it comes to you, you're snappier and more irritated which could make you snap at anyone who comes into view.

You slowly trudged towards the coffee machine near the dance studio as it was one of the closest ones from the Producing Room. On your way there you failed to notice the man who was going in the same direction.

Once at the familiar machine, you began to brew your favourite type of coffee. You already knew your face was an entire mess, bags under your eyes, your makeup barely staying on and your hair looked like a bird's nest but you didn't care as you knew no one is usually around at this hour.

"Excuse me?" You grew alarmed at the sudden voice, hesitantly, you turned to face the mysterious sound.

"Holy shit," You let out silently to the man. He was a god. You suddenly began to grow self-conscious about your appearance, what would people think if they saw you standing next to him.

"Your coffee is done by the way," Your eyes grew wide and turned to look at the now lukewarm cup of coffee. "S-sorry," You answered shyly. The man smiled at you as you hurriedly took your coffee cup away.

"By the way, my name's Hoseok! If you need any help around here, I'm your guy!" He gave you a breathtaking smile which nearly made your heart stop.

"(Y-Y/N)" You mumbled before running away to the comfort of your dorm.

                                                          Jimin

Today was the day you were going to get set up with someone in the company to help you with your vocal training. You were excited to say the least but quite nervous as there were only a few people who could mentor you because of everyone's busy schedules.

You got into the recording booth, expecting to see your mentor there but you were distracted by an angelic sounding voice. 'It's coming from one of the booths,'  You thought following the sweet voice. It came as no surprise as you saw an equally angelic man singing the piece.

He was too immersed in his music to see you take a seat on the mixing chair to listen to him more.

It wasn't until he was done that he noticed you clapping like a seal at his singing.

"Oh my God! You sing like an angel! That was amazing! How can any person do that?!" The man laughed at your constant praise as he stepped out of the booth. "Nice to meet you too," He said jokingly, giving you the most precious eye smile in the entire world.

"I'm so sorry! I forgot to introduce myself! My names (L/N) (Y/N)! Nice to meet you, Mr Angel!" You bowed while introducing yourself in order to be polite. The man only smiled but then a confused expression brushed upon his delicate features.

"Mr Angel?" He questioned, confused at the sudden nickname. "Yeah 'cause you sing and look like an angel!" You let out, proud of the inventive nickname. "Well, I'm not an angel but you can call me Jimin and I'm your mentor," He took a step back and bowed towards you.

That's when you realised that you were supposed to meet your new mentor here. "How was I so dumb!" You said quietly to yourself. How were you going to handle spending most of your time with such a handsome guy?

                                                      Taehyung

Even if you were the famous Park Jimin's sister you got into his company through your own efforts and not because your brother was a famous idol star. You were sick of people treating you differently so you decided to prove to them that you didn't need the influence of your brother to show how talented you were.

You passed the Bighit audition with your talents alone which made you very proud of yourself. However, today was your first day at the company and you had no clue what was going on. Sure, your brother got the dancing and the singing down but you got the exact opposite. Your talents were rapping and playing instruments as well as producing music. Sometimes people don't even believe you're related.

You had just gotten a break from dance practice and you were exhausted. Dancing hadn't always been your strong suit, it was more of your brother's. While you were on a water run you bumped into someone. You apologised and thought that was it but when you tried to leave you felt something grab onto your wrist.

Since your parents took you to do taekwondo, your reflexes took over and you flipped the person on their back.

As soon as you realised what you have done you knelt down to check if the person was alright.

"I am so sorry! I just thought you were an attacker or something!" You apologised profusely, constantly bowing in the process. The stranger just gave you a smile that kind of looked like a box.

"Don't worry about it, I just thought you seemed like someone I knew, no worries!" The man let out in a cheery manner. You were confused about his attitude but helped him up anyway.

"The name's Taehyung but you can call me Tae! I hope to see you around!" And with the quick introduction, he left you to your own thoughts.

'That was weird'  You thought before making your way back to the dance studio.

                                                     Jungkook

To be honest, you weren't one for big crowded areas. You always found solitude with your video games and fanfictions. You had no clue as to why you suddenly found yourself inside a computer cafe. It was true that the internet in your dorm was down but you didn't think your body would actually take you to a public place with various other people.

You silently entered, your eyes set on the marble floor. Even when you went to the cashier and ordered your things and the time you wanted on the computer, you refused to make eye contact with anyone.

Once on the computer, you went onto the most recent game that you've got addicted too, Overwatch. You usually played as Widowmaker or D.VA but today you wanted to switch it up by playing McCree.

After one round you knew your team was screwed, the only other person who seemed to not be absolute shit was a guy named Golden_Bunny_97. The guy was decent but he looked like he had it out for you alone.

"Is that the best you can do?"

"Well excuse me you fucking prick, it's kinda hard to carry a team all by yourself you know!"

"Excuse you! You're not the one who's carrying this team, I am!"

"You asshole!"

"You bitch!"

And it went on like that. The guy even had the nerve to curse you out on your gameplay even if you were equally as good as him.

You finally had enough of the guy and decided to leave the cafe but then you heard a familiar voice. "Thank you," The deep voice sounded exactly the same as the asshole who was insulting you during your Overwatch match.

"You!" You yelled out without thinking, the only emotion consuming you was anger. "You're that fucker who would not stop being a dick!" You said aggressively. It seemed like the guy recognised you and that's when his face went from surprised to angry.

"You're that bitch who doesn't know how to play!" You grew offended at the guy's statement but and brushed it off. "Yah! Listen here you piece of shit I'm not in the mood to deal with your idiocy today!" You said, your tone completely changing from angry to a calm.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be on my merry way!" You gave him a smile before walking towards the door. The man stood there with his mouth wide open. Since you were childish, before leaving you stuck your tongue at him and flipped him off.

The last thing you saw was his infuriated face.

[moonraccoon-exe]

(1) And here I am back again. Wanted to write to you sooner, but life dropped a huge pile of work on me and my mom got sick and I helped there and my brother got injured at work – a little piece of his finger was half off, but doctors say he'll be okay and he's already back home – and it was just a lot. But I am back. I totally understand the situation with that part of your family you talked about. I have something similar in my family. Everyone nice in their own way but totally stuck on old

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PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERIDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*TACKLE-HUGS YOU*

MY SWEET PRECIOUS ADORABLE MUFFIN, YOU COOKIE MADE OF SWEETNESS AND WARMTH, BEAUTIFUL WONDERFUL HOOMAN, HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ( ´ ▽ ` ).｡ｏ♡

*KEEPS PETTING AND SNUGGLING U, U ADORBS PRECIOUS LITTLE MUFFIN*

OMG PERIDOT, HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’M SO HAPPY SO JOYED SO FLATTERED TO GET TO READ YOU AGAIN OMG I’M SO HAPPY TO BE REPLYING TO YOU!!!!!!! HEWWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ( ´ ▽ ` )

Okay, I’m gonna add our good ol’ keep reading line here, buddy! :3

Don’t worry about not being able to reply sooner!! I did guess that you were either busy with something else, or that you needed time and you know both scenarios and any are alright. You’re not entitled to write to be with a strict schedule. I’ll be here to happily read you however long you need or want to take, aye, buddy?

ESpecially when it’s something as important as your mom and your brother!!! I’m sorry to hear that you had a sudden drop of a huge pile of work alksjdsakj that’s always startling and sort of stressing. And adding to that, your mommy getting sick and your brother having an accident. Gods above, it all suddenly piled up against you, dear Peridot!! I’m so sorry it all happened so suddenly and at once kalsjdlkgjda >

It’s also very important to acknowledge here all the hard work you gave, Peridot. Thank you for taking care of your mommy, and for worrying and helping about your brother, all while managing to get your work done. You’re quite an incredible, hard-working hooman, you know that? You managed everything. You’re absolutely incredible. I’m proud of you, buddy :3

I hope your mom is doing much better by now!! DO RECEIVE HALF OF MY MOST MAGICAL AND HAPPIEST RACCOONIE VIBES FOR HER WELL AND SOON RECOVERY!!!! The other half are, of course, for your brother!! ANOTHER HUGE LOAD OF MOST MAGICAL HAPPIEST RACCOONIE VIBES FOR WELL AND SOON RECOVERYYYYY!!!!!!!!!! (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ*: ･ﾟ*: ･ﾟ*: ･ﾟ*: ･ﾟ*: ･ﾟ*: ･ﾟ*: ･ﾟ*: ･ﾟ*: ･ﾟ*: ･ﾟ*: ･ﾟ*: ･ﾟ*: ･ﾟ

Zomg, what happened to your brother sounds like AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!! D: But the doctors know their stuff, so let’s trust them! It’s such a relief and so good to know that he’ll be okay. All happy vibes to your family, dear Peridot!! :D

Sadly, I think a lot of today’s families have that sort of side of the family too. Those that aren’t…necessarily evil or bad, like some other parts of the family, but still not quite the sort of people one would like to hang with? Yep. It sucks to know that you too have a part of the family that behaves like that. Being stuck in old traditions is…hnngnhg…such a stRUGGLE, SUCH A HORRIBLE STRUGGLE AKSDJFKLGDJADLKGJDAGL

Especially when they come up with questions like the things they ask you. Like having a boyfriend (if you’re a girl, because those kind of people INSTANTLY assume every girl is straight by default lmao) is a MUST, like you’ll die the next morning if you don’t get one. Like. Lmao. Why do I want a walking piece of meat with fragile masculinity. And not like all men are like that omg NO XD but it’s so rare to find a man that isn’t like…that. JEEZ.

AND HELL YEAH, THE SWITCH IS SO MUCH FUN AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! >3

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH PERIDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >3

Jesus, Peridot, you’re going to absolutely ROCK that party!! You’ll steal the spotlight aklsjdlkaj ahaha! WHAT A GORGEOUS OUTFIT ZOMG AND IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU LOVE IT AND THAT’S WHAT’S MOST IMPORTANT AAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!! You’ll definitely feel incredible with the lipstick if you feel like you want to wear it with this!! GO, PERIDOT! BE FAAAAAAABULOOOOOOOOOOOOUS!!!!!!!!! >3

HELL YEAH, I CALLED YOU A FIRE WITCH!!! That’s because I know you love magic, and you once told me you were more into fire, sO A FIRE WITCH YOU ARE!!! °3° LOOKIE YOU MAKING ALL THAT AMAZING INCREDIBLE FIRE MAGIC IN YOUR PALM ALKSDJFGDLKJDALKGDAJALJG LOOKING BADASS AND BEING EPIC AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, HELL YEAH FOR FIRE WITCHES AND FIRE WIZARDS AND FIRE YOU!!! /O/

GASPS

I’M HAPPY YOU LIKED MY BIRTHDAY MESSAGE AND THE CONFETTI AND THE CAKES!!!!!!!!!!! I WAS ABSOLUTELY HYPED TO KNOW IT HAD BEEN YOUR BIRTHDAY I WAS LIK EKLAJ SDKLDFJG LKAJ AL WOOOOOH!!!!!! I’M ABSOLUTELY HONORED, FLATTERED, AND INCREDIBLY JOYED TO BE YOUR FRIEND, TOO!!!!! *SQUEEZES U* ( ˙꒳​˙ )

I’M SO HYPED TOO TO KNOW THAT YOU AND YOUR BROTHER ARE GOING THROUGH AVATAR AGAIN AND THAT YOU’RE LOVING IT AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! >3

Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh, it’s so cute and so good to know that Avatar is neutral ground to you two! Sibling relationships can be quite something, but I’ve always known from you that you have a good one with your brother. Still, that doesn’t mean you two agree on everything, which can be a little tense at times. But then something wonderful and beautiful like the art of animation and storytelling can bring you back together. It’s mesmerizing and mindblowing, isn’t it? How something that we’re so used to and consider “simple” like a TV cartoon is really art, and that it can have such a huge impact…wow… :3

And yes, Avatar is DEFINITELY the BEST show EVER!!!

HELL YEAH, I’M ALWAYS EXCITED WHEN ZUKO JOINS THE GAANG TOO!!!! And it always, ALWAYS, always always always without a fail makes me SO FRUSTRATED and upset and terribly sad when Zuko accidentally burns Toph. It’s GENIUS, way beyond GENIUS, but after watching Zuko struggle so much and be as courageous as to tell his dad to fuck off and choose his own path, after seeing all his suffering, we get to see how CLOSE he is to join the good guys and have a good life, aND BYE AN ACCIDENT- AKLSDJFDLGKAH JDALKFJ ALKGJAD GLKAJG DAKLG*FLIPS THE DESK* JESUS CHRIST!!!!!!!!!!!

And it’s her soles!! THE ONLY LITERAL THING SHE RELIES ON!!!! ASKJLDFGKADLGJALGJA GENIUS GODDAMN GENIUS BUT PAINFUL AND SAD AND FRUSTRATING.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AND THE RECONCILIATION SCENE WITH UNCLE IROH!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT SCENE ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS WITHOUT FAIL BREAKS MY HEART, TAKES MY SOUL AND TEARS IT OPEN AND APART AND TOSSES MY FEELINGS INTO A TORNADO OF FEELS AND I CRY TOO, IT’S JUST- SUCH A POWERFUL SCENE I CRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Uncle Iroh hits fragile heartstrings. Sure he can be the comedy relief, but he’s still got one of the saddest stories of the Avatar universe. We’re all ready to lose our parents one day, but we’re never mentally prepared to lose a son or daughter, and Iroh had to go through that? And then, when he projects all the love he couldn’t give to his son into Zuko, being mistreated by him, and when he’s finally starting to be loved, be BETRAYED and REJECTED by him?? WATCH ZUKO TAKE THE WRONG PATH AKLSDJ KLGDAJDALKGJADLKGJADLKGDJAGKLDAJGLKDAGJDALGK

AND WHAT GETS TO ME THE MOST, WHAT PIERCES THE DEEPEST IN MY HEARTSTRINGS IS HOW, EVEN DESPITE EVERYTHING AND HOW MUCH IROH HAS SUFFERED, WHEN ZUKO ASKS FORGIVENESS, HE’S STILL THE MOST SELFLESS CREATURE EVER, WHICH MAKES THE SCENE BEAUTIFUL BUT STILL SO HEARTBREAKING BECAUSE HOW DARE HE BE SO SELFLESS?!?!?!?!?!?!

You know with the whole, instantly hugging him and Zuko being like “I thought you’d be furious!” and Iroh is crying and tells him “I was never angry. I was sad, because I thought you’d lost the path.”

ASDKJLFAGDLDKFDGLHJGDLÑKFDAJGKDGADÑGAGJÑLFJADÑLKGHADÑLGJADFÑLKDAJGAÑDKLHDAJKLGJADÑLG

OH NO. I HURT MYSELF WRITING THAT I’M TEARING UP I’M MADE A DISASTER OF FEELS I’MGOING AKLJDFD GLAKHFJALKDGJDA

*CURLS UP AND CRIES FOR A GOOD WHILE BEFORE COMING BACK*

What I mean to say is AAAAAAAYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, BUDDY, I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND YOU WITH THAT SCENE!!!!!! It’s so heartbreaking!! 

Definitely everyone should have an Iroh! People would be wiser, happier, and healthier. Iroh does good to the soul aahh :’)

HOH boy I’m definitely up to reading the LOTR books long and thick as they are!! The Song of Fire and Ice was my trial for that, if I could handle 5 books that size, I’m prepared now for Lord of the Rings!! But of course the Hobbit is going to be a MUST in the list, too! :D Even though I’m up to reading the original trilogy, do you still recommend reading the Hobbit first? It’s a prequel, after all, so maybe that could make the reading more rich? Or should I go with the original trilogy, THEN back to the prequel? HOH BOY I’m excited!! I’ve ALWAYS wanted to watch/read LOtR because it looks like it’s my absolute jam, it’s everthing I love!!!

I did hear/see somewhere that they’re making a movie about Mr. Tolkien!!! I’m absolutely HYPED about it, I can’t imagine how excited I’d be if I’d already read his books!!! Super curious to learn about the man with one of the biggest minds and brains for worldbuilding…IT GIVES ME CHILLS!! 

I once read, I think here on Tumblr, that the whole story of LotR started off as a bedtime story for one of his sons? And Mr. Tolkien was just coming up with random things and characters and plots, and this specific son was INCREDIBLY PICKY AND PETTY about the tiny details, like “but papa! You said the door was green the other day, and now you’re saying it’s red!” and Mr. Tolkien would stare at him, sigh, stand up, turn around and say something like ‘this picky brat’ and go make notes in his notebook to not forget those details XDSo that’s how one of Tolkien’s sons, by being UTTERLY PICKY, made one of the greatest masters of worldbuilding be so specific about his story LMAO AHAHAH

But I didn’t know that about him writing even in the trenches during battles!!!!!!!! :O WOOOOOOOOAAAAAAH, I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW HE HAD BEEN TO WAR!?!?!? WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT ADDS SO MUCH TO THE CONCEPT I KNEW OF MR. TOLKIEN!!! :O

Woaaah….I can’t imagine it…it must have been sort of a beautiful if tragic view; soldiers eating or smoking or walking in the terribly gross trenches, shooting, yelling, and amidst them, a man sat writing in a notebook. The sparkle of peace among disaster and chaos. Art among war. BRRRRR. CHIIIIIIIILLLLLLS, THIS GIVES ME CHILLS AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

PERIDOT, I’M ABSOLUTELY, ENTIRELY THRILLED TO KNOW THAT YOU’RE ENJOYING THE FLAMEL BOOKS!!!!!! I wasn’t very sure if it’d be to your liking, becauase it’s been a good while of years since I read them, and it happened to me once that I read a book at like age 12, then re-read it at like age 16 because I remembered it was one of my ultimate faves, and I couldn’t make it past the first chapter without cringing and mentally vomiting LMAO HAHAHAH, so I was worried the books were just that good in my memory and not in reality. So I’m absolutely ecstatic to know you’re liking them!!!

SOPHIE AND JOSH ARE INNOCENT BABIES THAT I PROTECC!! You know, I think it WAS a good recommendation because of the twin thing. I can’t believe I TOTALLY forgot about that when I recommended it to you!!! We once talked about how awesome twins are, and how little there is of them in literature/etc, OF COURSE YOU’D LIKE THIS AS MUCH AS I DID SIMPLY FOR THE TWIN CONCEPT OH MY GOD HOW DID I FORGET KLAJSDLKAGDJDALKGJAD

HELL YEAH, your twin brother and you are as powerful too!!!! EPIC DUO, DYNAMIC PAIR, MAGICAL WIZARDS AYEEEEEEEEEEE

Nick and Perry are AWESOME too!!! I love their modern names, too. They’re very simple but that’s what makes it brilliant. It makes me wonder how many people from the past are wandering around today with modern names that can be so obvious, and yet we don’t catch…aaah!!! >3

PERRY TALKING WITH THAT POLITE GHOST GENTLEMAN ALKSJDFKLADGJADKLGAJGKLADGJ OMG I HAD FORGOTTEN ABOUT IT, I LOOOOOOOVE THAT BIT!!! I love the whole concept of Perenelle being able to see ghosts, and how she stumbled upon such a kind one. We normally think about ghosts are either scary or mentally unstable, so to read her conversation with such polite one was so comforting, especially in her situation. It felt like finding a friend in that unknown scary territory :’3

HELL YEAH, HEKATE LIVING INSIDE THE YGGDRASSIL, HOW BADASS IS THAT!??!?!!? AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, first time I read it I didn’t know much about the Yggdrassil but when I looked it up I was like YO. BRO. THAT’S DOPE. THAT’S. THAT’S LITERALLY THE TREE OF FUCKING LIFE AND SHE’S- BRO SHE LIVES THERE. LIKE. BRO. 

She was a bit scary to me at first, and while she’s not my fave or most comforting character, I still ADORED the concept. The whole waking up a child, growing up by midday, ending the day as an old lady. JESUS CHRIST, WHAT A CHARACTER, I’M IN LOVE WITH HOW THIS AUTHOR HANDLED THE WHOLE MYTHOLOGICAL PART AKLSDJLDKGJAGLJ

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Peridot, I’m so, so, so, soooooooooooooooooooo happy that you’re enjoying the book!!! There’s still so much to see, and more characters, and I’m so excited for you to get the chance to dip into the world of those books, they’re SO GOOD and I’m thrilled and so happy that your birthday gift is to your liking!!!!  >3

Aaah...and...thank you so much for being as comprehensive and understanding about your asks as you are. I still feel so embarrassed and upset about losing a lot of asks in such stupid way. Even though you understand and you’re not upset, I’m still so sorry for losing them, not much for losing them, but because it means I never really answered. Thank you for still writing to me despite the couple asks I didn’t, and now can’t answer... ;n;

*hugs you*

Peridot, you’re really such a gift. Sometimes, you being so understanding and kind is a little beyond me, and so precious.Thank you for understanding and for not being upset at me. I would be at least disappointed, but maybe that’s me being harsh against myself aksdjfgajfklhajfalkjfa

Thank you, really. I don’t know how to say it enough. Thank you for understanding and for being so, so kind, dear Peridot... :’)

I do have something saved, though, and of course it’ll be my delight to answer them!! They’re old, but we can look at them as a TIME MACHINE ask hahaha :D Read what you told me a long time ago, re-read what I had answered so far, and continue replying as if it was recent. Hngnhng...I’m...still sorta embarrassed, but definitely happy to get the chance to still reply to that. Thank you, my dear friend... :’3

DEAR PERIDOT

You precious wonderful beautiful gem. My precious muffin. *pet pet pet* It’s always comforting and beautiful to write to you, you know? You feel like a cozy living room with a nice fireplace while outside it’s cold. Talking to you is always a joy, and sort of cathartic in a way. Thank you for taking the time to write to me, thank you for being so kind and understanding as always, and thank you for sharing with me your thoughts and experiences. It’s my honor and delight to write to my friend Peridot. Thank you, wholeheartedly.

ANYWAYS, PERIDOT!

I hope that you’re having a MOST FANTASTIC weekend, and may your week start off FANTASTICALLY AND PHENOMENALLY!!!! 

Sending you lots of hugs, my friend!! Have a WONDERFUL sunday!!!!!!!!! (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ

[supernatural-idjit-95]

The Curses We Utter, Pt. 6

“Unleash”

Series Masterlist

Summary: AND THE PLOT THICKENS *rubs hands together evilly*

Word Count: 9031

Warnings: Smutty goodness (yay), language, adult scenarios, action, angsty at times...that should be it :-)

Notes: Hiiii! I'm so excited for this- it's been posted on AO3, and I haven't been on Tumblr in a loooong time, and I forgot how much I love it!! Ya'll enjoy!! ;-)

****

"Why the hell are they still sleeping, Rowena?!" Sam screamed at Rowena. He had caved, ultimately giving in to the fear that had hold of him. Having just cracked your bedroom door to look in on you and Dean with Castiel and the Witch behind him, he at least kept the arguing in the hallway. Rowena recoiled at Sam's sudden outburst toward her. "Samuel, I told you!! I don't know…!" Her fists were clenched at her sides in desperation. "I'm sure it's just the toll the ritual took on them-" She gestured toward your bedroom door. "They're fine! Sleeping like wee babes…they'll awake soon enough, I'm sure of it." She finished with a confident smile. Sam shook his head, running his hand through his hair. His chest was heaving with anxiety and anger at the situation. Dean and yourself had now been asleep for 13 hours straight; and Castiel and Sam were beginning to come unhinged. An hour before this, Castiel had even gone as far as brandishing his Angel Blade to Rowena's throat, accusing her of some wrongdoing. But, according to her, this was 'normal'. "We will wait one more hour, and not a second longer. If they don't wake by then, you will do something about it." Castiel's voice had grown deeper, laced with threat. Rowena roller her eyes with vexation. "And what do you suppose I do about it, Angel? This is the spell! We can't undo it!" She yelled back at Cas. Sam sighed, keeping his composure now. "No-we can't undo it, but you are the most powerful Witch we know of; I know you can do something ." Rowena nodded, the hint of flattery from Sam obviously stroking her ego as she held her head a bit higher. "I'll start looking." She winked at him. *** Voices. You could hear them talking, yelling; but you didn't know whose they were. Everything felt fuzzy…similar to waking half-way during a dream, and being self-aware. Then as quickly as you heard them, the voices were gone, and you felt someone beside you. "(Y/n)?" Then, someone shaking your shoulder gently, brushing your hair away from your face. "(Y/n), wake up sweetheart…" 'Dean.' You remembered. Your eyes fluttered open, peeking through thick lashes at the man before you through barely opened eyes. Confirming what you already knew-that Dean was beside you-you let your eyes fall shut again with fatigue, but remained awake. "Mornin', sunshine." Dean's voice was gravelly with sleep. Still so close to you, Dean was propped up on his elbow on his side, just grinning at you as he brushed your hair back out of your face. "Hi." You whispered, smiling with ease with your eyes still closed. "You feelin' okay…?" Dean asked you, testing the waters, hoping with all his might for a win. "I'm tired…" You spoke. Your usual soft voice was raspy, a parting gift from your very vocal experience the night before. "I know…me too. But, I think a few people are waiting on us out there…" Dean said, laying back down and drinking in the sight of you. Then, you felt his lips on your forehead, as they made their way to yours. It was laggard and purposeful, and he held your face in his hand as he pulled away. 'Uggghh. I have to get up.' "Time to face the music, sweetheart. You with me?" Dean spoke, more awake now. "Through hell and high water, handsome…" And at last, you opened your eyes to meet his. They were different to you, gleaming with a spark you hadn't seen before. But so was…everything. Your eyes widened and you gasped, bolting upright holding the sheet to your chest. Your (y/e/c) eyes scanned over the room, soaking in what you saw. "(Y/n)? Baby what's wrong?" Dean's hand was on your back as your mouth hung open in awe. You were gawking at the ceiling, the walls, the dresser; and finally Dean. "(Y/n) talk to me, please! What the hell's wrong?!" His voice rose with panic, and you were snapped out of examining the change around you. You exhaled sharply, an emotional grin erupting on your face as you look at Dean. "Dean- my god, it's…you're…" You had to blink a few times, placing your hand on Dean's cheek to make sure this was real. "…everything's beautiful…I-I can see everything Dean! It's like-jesus, wha-what is this?" You were looking at everything, your hands, Dean's chest, the sheets-Dean's face fell into a quick confusion at your actions. "W-What do you see, (Y/n)?" He asked, concern in his voice. You turned your gaze back to him, your eyes glazed with joy. "Dean, it's like I'm seeing colors for the first time." Dean cocked his head in question, his hand grasping your shoulder like you'd disappear. "B-But you're okay…right? Nothin' hurts, no weird-" And then you kissed him. You just had to, you had to know if he tasted different. "You even taste different!" You reared back on your heels, clutching the sheet still, barely covering your naked form. 'Oh-I should answer him. Christ this is weird…but it's incredible.' "Dean, baby I'm fine. I'm great…this…" Your head swiveled about, looking at everything one more time. "…this is amazing Dean." 'Why the hell is he looking at me like that?' Dean couldn't help but worry. But even as he did, the pleasure in his eyes at seeing you this happy- this excited about something -couldn't be hidden if he tried. You didn't know it then, but it was love you saw in his eyes. "Should I get Rowena?" He asked you, and you shook your head. "No I'm fine…I promise." You pressed your lips together in a reassuring smile. "C'mon. Let's get dressed." You stole another kiss from the green-eyed heart throb in your bed, and pulled him to his feet. * You and Dean emerged into the main room, to find Rowena, Sam, and Cas pacing, uttering disgruntled words, and sifting through books. 'Ha. A Witch, Angel, and a hunter all walk into a bar...' Dean guided you as you would still suddenly whip your head to and fro, seeing something new or more beautiful than it was before. When you'd turned the last corner, his hand on the small of your back moved to your hand, encasing it in his. You paused, looking up at him with a smirk when he winked back at you. This was the first time you and Dean weren't hiding what you felt for each other…and you loved it. 'No matter what happens from here on out, wait- don't wanna jinx myself.' Sighs of relief were released loudly when the three of them laid eyes on you and Dean. It was obvious they'd been scared shitless of the outcome of the spell; and you had been too. "Mah dear! How are you feeling?" A very tired Rowena scampered over to examine you. She held you by the arms, eyeing you up and down. Sam and Cas hovered as well, waiting. "She sees…colors?" Dean stated, unsure of how to explain it. "No, they aren't exactly colors…but I-It's beautiful! Everything is just…pronounced, enhanced…" You said, with eyes still full of wonder. Rowena's blank face made your stomach knot. 'She doesn't know what this is.' You thought. "Molecules- You're seeing molecules, (Y/n)." Castiel's voice came, and you turned to him. A lump in your throat formed at the memory of what was brought to light the night before, learning he had feelings for you. As you met his gaze, seeing just how different he looked, you narrowed your eyes. "You're seeing energy as well. With a little more time, you'll be able to see a soul." He stated simply, like you were a child he was teaching to read. "What…how do you know that?" You asked him, shifting uncomfortably on your feet. Cas smiled at you. "Because we all see it…Angels, and demons." "So am I, ya know…using ability to do that? Or will it always be this way?" You asked, looking from Cas to Rowena, not sure which of them would have the answer. Rowena was grinning again, her nervousness subsided with Castiel's help. Cas stepped closer to you, and you could feel the tension between he and Dean, readjusting his hold on your hand. 'Okay…slow your roll Dean. He's not proposing.'You thought, giving his hand an extra tight squeeze signaling him to 'calm the fuck down'. "This is the way you should have seen the world your whole life. Your vision will remain this way." Cas said. You smiled, thankful to have at least this one thing that made your situation bearable (other than Dean). "(Y/n), Dean, how do you guys feel otherwise? I mean, is anything else…different?" Sam pried, more curious than he was worried. Dean shrugged. "Everything's the same for me so far, minus, ya know." He smirked boyishly, cocking his head toward you and giving an open-mouthed wink to Sam. You rolled your eyes. 'I'm not even mad. If I were one to brag about sex, I'd be bragging about last night too.' You thought to yourself. "Ugh…yeah we all heard Dean- literally." Sam mused, shaking his head at his brother. Realizing what Dean had just said in front of Castiel, you changed the subject quickly. 'I don't know what to say to him…' "Rowena, what's next? Can we, ya know, try it…?" You motioned to Dean, who's expression fell solemn at the mention of 'flicking the switch'. Rowena shrugged, her eyes bright, but her face weary from the long night. "I don't see why not…?" She said, sharing in your enthusiasm. But Dean wasn't so sure. "(Y/n), don't want you wanna give it a day? I mean, to adjust?" He wished he hadn't said it the moment the words left his lips. "Ya know what…it's your call princess. You say the word, and I'll say, well…the other word." Dean smiled at you confidently. The way he didn't want you to experiment right away told you he cared about you, but when he quickly changed his view, you knew he cared enough to make it your choice. You were trusting him with so much, but mostly entrusting him to never take that power away from you. "We…should move to a room where there aren't so many breakable things, dear." Rowena suggested quickly, finger poised in the air. "Why?" You asked. Castiel shifted his gaze from the floor to Rowena, then to you, like they were keeping a secret from you. "We don't know what's going to happen, (y/n). A surge of that much power into someone who's never experienced it could be very chaotic." Sam nodded, like he was sad to agree with them. "I hate to say it (y/n), but they're right. We have no idea what will happen…" His words trailed off as silence fell amongst you. You lowered your head, discouraged. What was the point of all of this, then? Screw them! 'To give me wings and fucking clip them…' You thought. Dean saw your eyes dim like you were being let down, and it almost broke his heart. Dean's voice broke the silence. "No. No, we did not go through all of this crap to not go through with this." His tone grew quickly agitated, and you watched him, intrigued as he spoke. "(Y/n) didn't ask for any of this. But she needs to know how to protect herself, dammit!" Dean put his arm around your shoulder and continued. "And either way, this is her choice!! Not any of ours, not even mine. She's not our fucking secret weapon, and she's sure as hell not some missile to be stashed away in a silo 'till we need her. End of story." 'God damn fuckin' right. That's my man.' You thought, 'No one puts baby in a corner!!' Dean looked down at you then, searching your eyes. "(Y/n), you really wanna try this?" He asked you, a serious urgency on his face and in his voice. You smirked wildly, and nodded up at him while he smiled back down at you, and you could see the adrenaline coursing through and between the two of you, like you really were connected. 'We were fucking made for each other.' "Hell yes I do." You said. And out of the corner of your eye, you saw Rowena nodding to herself with a proud look on her face, like a green light saying 'go'. "Okay, then we do it. Come with me." Dean said. And at that, he took your hand in his again leading you out of the room. Sam shot you a wink on your way passed him, as if he wanted you to do it all along. "Dean, where are we going?" * Dean led you into to the room where your punching bag was (yes, you'd dubbed it your's the first time you beat the crap out of it), in the room with all the weights they used to spar in. Dean shut and locked the behind the two of you aggressively, steering you to the middle of the room. "Are you sure Dean? I don't know if I should, wha-what if I hurt you?" You needed closure before making this decision final; as if you were about to run into a burning building, and you just asked him to go with you. Dean's expression changed quickly at your words, closing the gap between you with his lips. His kiss didn't last long, but you needed it. Because just then, you started to wonder if you shouldn't do it. And then, you found it hard to breathe. 'Is the air thick in here…?' You licked your lips, and focused on the hem of your t-shirt again. You always did that when you were nervous, and it drove you mad. You saw it as a childish habit, almost ashamed of how quickly your anxiety could overwhelm you; you're a hunter, and you're always supposed to be tough- or so you thought. Dean touched your chin, demanding your eyes to look at his eyes with insistency. "You've been waiting your whole life for this, (y/n). Maybe you didn't know it, but you knew you were missing something, and this is it." He swallowed hard, his mouth dry as he gripped your shoulders, and his eyes bore holes into yours. "I'm with you on this- I'm right here with you. So what's it gonna be?" His question made your nerves recoil, you knew you wanted this. You needed it…there was just the small matter of rolling up your sleeves, and pulling the pin on the grenade. 'Damnit…I'm scared. I'm fucking scared.' You looked back down biting your lip. Your excitement turned to fear, and you thought momentarily that maybe you should've listened to Cas. Your silence was your only answer, and Dean wasn't having it. "(Y/n), come on!" Dean yelled, then turned in an agitated circle before coming about again to look at you. "I won't let you do this to yourself, not after all of this!" His words and emotion gained your attention. "Dean, I'm scared!" You yelled back, not angrily, but out of frustration. Dean's face softened again, doing his best not to push you, but he knew you'd hate him if he let you turn back now. Taking your face in both of his hands, he sighed. "I've said this already (y/n), and you just don't get it do you?" Your eyes narrowed at his with confusion. "I'm right here. I'm not goin' anywhere." Then it hit you like a fucking grand piano. You weren't afraid of finding out what you could do; you were afraid of Dean finding out what you could do. In the back of your mind, it lingered there like the plague. Small questions that creeped into your mind throughout the morning, were now rearing their ugly heads at you. What if Dean saw you differently after this? What if he never wanted you to choose him, and he only did it because he felt bad about how he treated you at first…? He might start thinking I'm a freak… "What if-what if I scare you, Dean? What if I turn into something you'd rather hunt than be with?" Your voice was almost a whisper. Your eyes glossed over, not with tears but the beginning of them. Pulling you into his chest, Dean squeezed you tight, kissing your forehead. You thanked the gods that you didn't cry; you were so over crying, you could puke. He pulled away to look at you. "Princess, I wanted you from the moment I saw you, and I still do. No matter what happens, I'll choose you, every time. 'Cause I'm Dean fuckin' Winchester…I don't get scared." You grinned at him. 'Dean fuckin' Winchester.' "Hit, stay or fold?" Dean hinted with a new smile in his eyes, and from ear to ear. Still grinning, you squinted your eyes at him and tilted your head. "What?" "My bet's on you baby. What's it gonna be?" 'Jesussss the shit this guy does to me…' "Hit me." You replied with a sassy wink, regaining more and more of your confidence as this god of a man made you weak in the knees. "That's my girl." And with one more kiss, Dean inhaled deeply, taking a few steps back. You cracked your neck, shaking out your arms and shoulders to ready yourself for whatever was about to happen. 'I got this- I think.' You nodded to him slightly. Dean would've missed it, had his steely green eyes not been locked on you already. As an eery chill drew you to tremble, you watched as he set a significant breath free, concentrating hard. At last, his smoky voice commanded you, penetrating your ears: "Furorem!" * You hadn't been aware of what happened around you immediately after Dean had spoken that word. A low, rumbling hum sounded throughout the room. It resonated up the walls and to the ceiling, as the lights and fixtures above quaked with fear. They burst in mere seconds- catapulting lively sparks every which way, as shards of glass cascaded down around you and Dean, littering the floor like snow. Dean was shielding his eyes and face, hunching forward in an attempt to hide from the disarray around him. The low ghostly hum had evolved quickly into an ear-piercing whine, and Dean covered ears to protect them. In these events simultaneously, you felt it. The power, the energy- it collided with you, emulating the swift and dreadful fury of God himself. It coursed through your veins with a burst of vitality; you couldn't fathom how you'd been without it this long. You could feel your body vibrating, a tremendous surge of what was in you all along being set free. Then as quickly as it began, the chaos enveloping you both ceased; leaving you standing, and Dean cautiously standing to right himself. You were still self-aware, and of Dean- but you knew you both were alright somehow. Your eyes remained closed as you stood there, thrilled at the things you felt. Dean's stare was on you and you knew it, and you heard his voice. "(Y/n)…sweetheart?" Dean pleaded, needing badly to know you were alright, and that you were…you. At his voice, you opened your eyes. You saw his face as your eyelids flew open- and his expression told you something was wrong, even though he didn't. "Dean…?" You questioned. He cleared his throat, taking an uncertain step forward to you. "(Y/n), baby you okay?" You blinked a few times, attempting to shake this sensation in your gut. "W-What happened?" You stammered, observing the disarray around you. He took several strides closer to you with growing confidence. "Nothin' we can't fix, sweetheart." He consoled you. "How do you feel?" You swallowed hard, and returned his brooding gaze. "I feel like…I'm charged up? I'm not sure." You shook your head in wonder. "Well, y-you wanna give it a shot?" He asked, his eyes scanning the room for the something. "…How?" You hesitated. You had no idea how to channel everything you just encountered…you didn't know where to begin. "How 'bout that punching bag?" Dean suggested, pointing to the black bag behind you hanging, just begging you to touch it. "I can try, but Dean I don't kno-" Dean interrupted you. "You won't know if you don't try." He urged you. You were letting those feelings take hold of you again; telling you it was impossible to control, and that you couldn't possibly handle this terrifying power. You turned to the bag. You made it through the hardest part, you sure as hell weren't turning back now. Doing the only thing you knew how to, you focused. You stared at it for several long moments, with no results to show for it. And not in frustration, or anger, but in peace- you closed your eyes. Picturing the bag in your mind's eye, you had a clear image of what you wanted it to do…now if you could only do it. The lids over your eyes fluttered open, the blanket lifted- you focused again, and like that - it happened. Tunnel vision. You could feel it, see it. It was like thousands of arrows were being tethered to you. Each one poised ready to aim, willing to fire; and you were the bow string. You were the only thing holding them back, and the only thing that could unleash them. The power you had over your surroundings was incredible. 'Start slow. Just…try to move the bag maybe?' Wanting to give the bag a nudge, a push so to speak, you willed it. The bag moved at first, swaying back and forth. You glanced at Dean, gushing with excitement. It definitely wasn't much, but it was a start. He was smirking back at you with pride, his chest still rising and falling heavily to recover his breath. Dean nodded toward to the bag, egging you on to try it again. You regained your position, and refocused. 'Just another nudge-I can do it. Picturing it happening seemed to do the trick last time…' Shutting your eyes to attain the image, releasing a slow exhale, you opened them again. You could hear Dean inhaling sharply like something was troubling him, but you proceeded. This time, it felt more like muscle memory; you knew what to do. You rose your hand at the bag, like you were telling it what to do. 'Deep breath…' BOOM. 'Whoops.' The bag burst. Tiny black remnants of the tough material propelled outwards mercilessly, sand billowing into a cloud as it made it's journey to the floor. 'Well, damn. That happened.' Your punching bag was no more. A small black piece of leather was all that was left dangling on the rope, the remnants of the rest of it in the air like confetti falling atop the pile of sand that once filled it. You blinked in surprise, making note to yourself to definitely never practice on people-that would be messy. "(Y/n), you okay?" Dean asked you, rearing to full height as he had crouched to the floor when the bag exploded. You turned to him, watching as he bent forward rustling the sand out of his hair. "I think so…but I need a new punching bag now." You said, amused but a bit frightened still. Chuckling, Dean approached you and pulled you into a tight hug. You squeezed him back, relieved that the lightbulbs and punching bag were the only things that exploded. His breathing was still jagged, and you felt his heart pounding through his chest. "Should I-should we stop for now?" You questioned, retreating from his arms to see his face. "You mean, you want me to say it?" He replied, uncertain of what you meant. "Yeah, do you think we should for now?" Dean's hands fell on your hips as he returned your stare, his tired eyes searching yours for a brief moment. "No, I don't. This is part of you now, you shouldn't ignore it (y/n)…" He paused, waiting for you to object, and when you didn't he continued. "Unless you really, really want me to." 'He's right. He's 100% right. I can't lock it away, or I'll never learn to control it…' You thought. "No, you're right Dean. Let's just roll with the punches for now, if you're up to it." Biting your lip, you wondered what should come next. A nap? Find a case? How the hell were you supposed to hunt with this? Did you even need a gun anymore? "I'm with ya, sweetheart. C'mon, I hear some beer in the fridge just beggin' to be drank." Dean grinned at you before placing a warm kiss on your lips, then leading you out of the room with his arm draped over your shoulders. You weren't aware yet, but Dean hadn't told you what your eyes had done in the midst of your experiment. ****

The remainder of the day had gone pretty smoothly (which you never expected). You made sure to avoid high-stress situations; which pretty much meant avoiding Castiel, and not looking for a case- which was driving you mad.

Dean kept his promise to you by staying close, just in case. He'd even followed you to bathroom at one point, and you gave him your best 'are you fucking kidding me?' expression you could muster.

Now in the comfort of your room, you were heading for your bathroom to shower the day away (yes, you'd dubbed yourself a bathroom along with the punching bag- may it rest in pieces).

You kicked off your boots and jeans, and shed your t-shirt and tossed it into the pile of clothes.

'I'm going to sit in this shower for hours. Juuuussst watch me.'

The stress of the day had created knots inside other knots in your shoulders and neck; you were definitely looking forward to the more-than-satisfactory water pressure.

You moved in front of the mirror and combed through your mid-length (y/h/c) hair. It was knotted too, tangled from running your hands through it and twisting it around your fingers all day, out of turmoil and stress.

You snatched up a hair tie from the counter (one that wasn't lost yet); you bent over past the counter top and threw your hair over your head, preparing to pull it into a pony tail. Grasping your thick hair in one hand, ready to wrap it with the elastic band, you reared up back in front of the mirror; and screamed in horror.

Your eyes were yellow .

Not mustard yellow, just pure, bright golden-yellow - and it covered not only your iris and pupil, but the entirety of your eyes.

"Dean!!!" You shrieked out.

Along with your ear-splitting scream for Dean, the mirror before you cracked all the way across, then shattered altogether. The shards toppled into the sink, onto the counter and scattered to the floor. You froze, afraid to move should you unintentionally break something else.

You surveyed the damage you'd done; your heart was pounding in your ears, unable to fathom the sight you'd just seen in the mirror; those weren't your eyes.

It was just then you realized that Dean had been banging on your locked bedroom door already, blaring out your name; he must've heard you scream.

You sprinted out of the bathroom to let him in, and as you did the heavy fists pounding on your door suddenly ceased; and a shrill sound made you stop dead in your tracks.

'What the hell is tha-' Your thoughts were ripped from your mind.

The bedroom door exploded inward with a blinding flash of blue light. Splintered pieces of wood hung in the air, then fell forward with your door which landed with an enormous bounce, then a deafening thud .

Lowering your arm you raised to shield your face, you narrowed your eyes at the now doorway in front of you. Immediately, Castiel and Dean came rushing through.

"What the hell was that?!" You raised your voice upon seeing them.

"We heard you scream, but your door was locked. So I opened it." Castiel responded, seeming disgruntled at the way you rose your voice; as if you were scoffing at your knights in shining armor.

Dean kicked pieces of wood out of his way (that moments earlier belonged to your door), and grabbed you by the shoulders. "What's wrong?" He nearly yelled, his gaze darting down and back up over your body searching for any signs of injury.

"My eyes- I looked in the mirror, and my eyes- " You were stumbling over your words, when Dean interrupted you.

"I know, (y/n). I know." He told you.

Raising your eyebrows, you looked him in the eye.

'How the hell could he have known…?'

It was then you remembered the way he looked at you earlier that day, when you first used your abilities.

"You knew? And you didn't tell me?" You asked, ashamed at the way you spat your words at him. You knew he didn't want to plague you with telling you…but damn you were angry.

Castiel took a step forward, as Dean released you from his grip. "When were her eyes yellow, Dean?" He asked.

Dean's shoulders slumped. "In the exercise room, where we were earlier. They flashed yellow a couple of times…" He faced you again. "…(y/n), I didn't wanna ruin that for you. Okay? That's all. I was plannin' on telling you, I swear…" His hands dropped at his sides, looking like a puppy you just scolded.

Just as you were about to yell a savory sort of obscenities in Dean's face for keeping that from you all day, Castiel shot a sideways glance at you that said 'don't you dare be mad at him for that!'. And you knew in your heart Cas was right.

Dean was trying to keep you calm earlier that day, and sharing something like 'Uh, sweetheart your eyes are a creepy golden yellow color…' definitely wouldn't have kept you calm. You sighed, and turned to him.

"Look…I'm sorry. I'm just scared…" You eyed your bare feet, then your nakedness dawned on you- you were still in your underwear and tank top, since you were about to get in the shower before all this happened.

You blushed, not because of Dean, but because Cas was standing there beside you trying his damnedest not to look at you.

Someone clearing their throat made you all look at the door- or doorway now, seeing Sam gawking there holding a few grocery bags.

"Umm…what happened to the door?" He questioned the three of you.

You and Dean looked to Cas, who shuffled his feet a bit and put his hands in his pockets awkwardly.

"(Y/n) had the door locked, and…she screamed." Cas said, now sharing in the amusement.

*

You were able to get that shower you so desperately needed (in Dean's shower though), and you quickly dressed afterward in a pair of grey sweat pants and one of your black tank tops. The need for comfort tonight was real.

Exiting the bathroom, you found a very much asleep (and snoring), shirtless Dean in his bed. Stooping down, you placed a soft kiss on his cheek before leaving the room; there was a whiskey bottle in the kitchen calling your name.

Your bare feet padded through the bunker to the barely-lit kitchen, nearly killing yourself over Rowena's large luxurious carpet-bag on the way. You figured she'd taken up residence in one of the empty bedrooms, and it was relaxing for some reason knowing she was staying for the time being.

Finding the whiskey, you poured yourself a very generous glass, and tip-toed off to the magnificent library you'd come to enjoy so much. It was always quiet there, and the books and their knowledge tended to calm you.

Plucking one at random off the shelf, you curled up in Sam's cozy chair (yes, it was definitely 'his', so this was the only time of day you could sit in it).

You sipped your whiskey as it seared it's way down to your stomach, leaving your cheeks a bit more red than usual, and your body buzzing with that particular 'fuzzy feeling' you were yearning for all night.

The feeling of someone watching you then overwhelmed you; looking up from your book, you saw you were still in fact alone.

'Damn creepy bunker. It's probably haunted.' You smirked to yourself. 'Good thing I'm a hunter'.

You leafed through the old book you'd chosen at random; one about Sirens, Magical Siphons, and other Demi-Gods of the Old World. Downing the rest of your drink greedily, you closed your eyes for a moment relishing in your solitude.

'Okay, no more whiskey for me.' You thought, then laughed to yourself. 'Who am I kidding?'

You definitely weren't a lush by any means, in fact your lifestyle had led you away from indulging too much. Alcohol sometimes was just a way to find sleep. You were sure you weren't the only hunter out there like that, either. The toll the job took on you was real, and it usually followed you to bed at night.

"(Y/n)? Why are you up so late?" Castiel stalked through the doorway with confusion. You'd nearly jumped out of your skin in surprise at his voice.

Clutching your chest, you tried to calm yourself.

"Hey, Cas. I just can't sleep, that's all. What are you doing up?" You said, closing the book and setting it aside.

"I don't sleep, (y/n)." Cas told you matter-of-factly.

You nodded. You forgot how much Hannah would wander around the house all hours of the night; you'd always thought she was just keeping watch, but it was because she too never slept.

"Oh- I keep forgetting…" You squeaked back. Leaning toward the chair beside you, you patted the seat. "Come sit with me."

His face illuminated with a timid smile, and he took the chair next to you.

'Well, this is as good a time as ever…' You thought.

You'd been dreading this conversation since the moment Rowena very forwardly spilled the beans about Castiel's feelings for you. Knowing you were going to need it, you poured yourself another glass of whiskey and downed it clean, immediately refilling your glass.

Castiel's head tilted. "What's wrong, (y/n)?"

You didn't waste anytime telling him. "Cas…I feel like we need to-" He cut you off, holding a finger in the air. Stopping short, you raised your eyes to him.

"(Y/n), please. I have no intentions of coming between you and Dean…you have to know that." He nearly blurted out his words, as if he thought he knew exactly what was on your mind.

Startled, and slightly hurt by the fact that he assumed you thought he'd try something, you reared back in your seat a bit.

"Whoa…Cas, that thought has not even entered my mind- at all -I just meant, y'know…we should talk about it." You shuffled forward to the edge of your seat again.

"Oh, my mistake then. I apologize…I just don't see how conversing about it will change anything, though. Yes, I have…feelings for you that I believe surpass friendship. But you don't reciprocate; and I'm not offended by that (y/n). I am more than capable of maintaining a non-sexual relationship with you." He replied.

'WOW he is straight forward. Touche'…'

Cas was right. Talking about it wouldn't change anything, and it wouldn't make you feel differently about him, or Dean.

Nodding slowly, you fidgeted with your hands a bit staring at the floor. Then in resolution, you reached for your whiskey glass and downed the remainder of it; like a champ of course, but it didn't stop the inevitable slight cough as you set it back down.

"You're right Cas. I'm sorry I brought it up, I just wanted to make sure that we're alright, you and I." You spoke slowly and humbly, and found the courage to look up at him again.

He smiled that knowing grin of his, with blue eyes that could entrap just about anyone, and reached for your hand, placing his atop it comfortingly.

"We're fine (y/n)…no bad blood between us." Smirking back, the whiskey started taking it's toll on you.

You took that as your sign to get to bed, knowing nothing good ever happened after 2:00 am, especially drunk.

"Good night, Cas…I'm really glad we talked…" Your legs weakened a bit as you stood, and Cas took hold of your hand as you did, standing with you.

"You're intoxicated." He stated, as you giggled to yourself a bit, listening to an Angel say you were drunk was all of a sudden hilarious.

Beaming, you looked at him and crashed into his chest in a drunken, happy hug. Lightly and carefully, he returned the hug, patting your back softly- then pushed you away from him, hard.

Stumbling back into your chair, your mouth agape at his actions. "What the hell, Cas?!" You yelled, hoisting yourself up on the chair.

Cas was holding onto the table beside you both now, his right hand clutching his head.

"What did you just do (y/n)?!" He looked at you, still grasping his head, grimacing in pain.

You shuffled over quickly in confusion, attempting to help him to the chair, but he held his hand up shakily.

"You did something to me just then-what did you do?!" He was gasping for air, as if every ounce of energy was just drained out of him.

Then, you realized something critical; you were sober. Plain as day, like you'd never had an ounce of alcohol.

You stuttered at words on the tip of your tongue, and you couldn't find them. "Cas! I didn't-I don't think I did anything! Tell me what's wrong!"

The Angel gripped the table mercilessly releasing his head, turning to gaze at you.

"Are you still drunk?" He breathed out through clenched teeth, his chest falling and rising heavily still.

Your eyes widened, for the first time in history, you shook your head 'no' in shame of not being drunk; you had an itch you knew exactly what you'd done to him, unintentionally.

"Cas I think…I-I think I-" He interrupted you again (would you ever get a word in with this guy?).

"-You siphoned me, (y/n). That's what you did." Able to find the strength to stand upright, Cas squeezed his eyes shut, over come with dizziness, then opened them to find your stare again.

"Cas I didn't mean to-how did I do that?" You asked. You gulped hard, trying to push down the lump in your throat. You'd never hurt him…

"You were…under your wits, I suppose your body took over to recover for you…" His voice trailed off into the air, and he brushed his hands down his trench coat to readjust himself.

'Oh my god, I hurt him. I hurt my friend.'

"Can…can I give it back?" You inquired, your voice shook threatening tears, and you did your best to fight them off.

Cas shook his head, lowering his eyes to his feet. "No, I'm afraid that wouldn't be wise to attempt…I'll recover fully."

He saw the tears welling in your eyes, as you bit your lip avoiding his. "I'll be fine (y/n), I promise…I'm sorry for pushing you, it just…startled me."

And he tried to smile at you, to reassure you, and it almost shattered you then and there.

'He is so selfless…he's actually trying to make me feel better…'

"I hurt you…I'm so sorry, Cas…" You murmured, unable to look at him.

"I'll be alright, I assure you…I just need to rest…" His breath was ragged, and you knew he was fibbing up just how fine he was. You'd done more damage than he was letting on, and you could tell.

All you could do was nod back to him. You sniffed, raking away the solitary tear that had broken free, and you felt many more to come behind it.

You couldn't take the silence, you couldn't begin to say the right words; because of you, your friend who had no 'Angel mojo' to spare in the first place, was at more of a disadvantage now. And for a moment, you actually hated yourself.

Turning on your heels, you started briskly for the library door. You heard Castiel calling out to you from behind, but your racing heart and very selective hearing chose to ignore it. All you wanted to do was get out of here; fight or flight, and you were choosing to flee.

'I need to get the fuck outta here…I'm gonna kill someone if I stay.'

*

You'd sprinted down the corridor to your bedroom, where your door still laid on the floor in defeat. You threw on a bra and t-shirt, jumped into jeans and your boots and ran.

You knew you couldn't bump into Cas on your way out; he probably knew exactly what you were about to do anyways- he may have been new to being human, but he wasn't born yesterday.

You didn't bother packing, only scooping up the keys to Baby off the kitchen counter, your phone, and your gun.

You made for the garage like you were breaking out of prison, and the 'there's a psycho on the loose' alarms were about to sound at any second.

Within minutes, you were the behind Baby's steering wheel (hell yes), tearing out of the garage like you were Batman, and Baby was your Batmobile.

Tears clouded your vision as you drove for the highway blanketed by night, and you batted them out of the way angrily as a sob broke free from your throat. The only comfort to you was feeling the rumble and roar of Baby's engine ahead of you.

'Who the fuck was I kidding?! God I'm a fucking idiot!! They aren't safe around me.'

The ringing and vibrating of your phone broke your train of thought (pity party, really), and you slowed your speed to pick it up from beside you.

Of course, just as your gut told you, it was Dean calling. Your stomach knotted; chest clenched with anxiety, you stared at your phone's screen and decided to answer it- and get this over with.

'Dean's going to hate me.'

Looking back up at the road, you pressed the green 'answer' button and pressed it to your ear.

"Dean, I'm-"

Dean's yelling through the other end of the phone made you pull it away from your ear quickly.

You could hear what he was saying: 'What the hell are you thinking?!' and 'You took Baby?!!' and 'Shutup Sam! I'm not yelling at her!!'

You winced in internal agony, shutting your eyes for a second returning them to the dark road before you. Dropping the phone on the seat, you slammed on the brakes the hardest you could; seeing the last fucking thing you wanted to see right now.

Standing in the middle of the road as Baby's headlights fell on his form, was Crowley.

You hit the brakes harder, causing Baby to come to a complete stop just yards away from him; Dean's screaming and expletives sounding through the phone's speaker still beside you.

Crowley stood there, hands in his pockets, and the smuggest god damn sneer you'd ever seen on his face.

'I'm gonna peel that fucking grin right off his stupid fucking demonic face!!!'

You kept eye contact with him, and he was waiting for you there, motionless- because he knew you were going to come to him.

Picking up the phone, Dean was hollering still:

"(Y/N!) Are you listening to me?!"

You interrupted him quickly, you knew you'd get through this but something inside you was saying you needed to tell him something…

"Dean, please listen- I'm so sorry, I didn't mean for this…" You kept speaking over his voice, as he yelled his objections at you trying to get you to turn around.

"Damnit!! Please for the love of god, listen!!" Gaining his attention finally, you kept your eyes glued to the vicious form of Crowley before you, as he mocked you with an eye roll.

"I'm listening, (y/n)!" Dean said in frustration through the phone.

"I hurt Cas, Dean…I hurt him- I didn't mean to…and Crowley's here. I need to face him, I can do this… I know I can-" Of course, Dean's patience ended the second you said 'Crowley's here'.

"(Y/n), you're insane! Where the hell are you?!" He yelled again. You blinked back more tears, holding the phone to your chest in desperation.

'This is where my idiocy takes me, huh?'

Bringing the phone back to your ear, your voice shook with uncertainty. Dean was silent; he knew you would never tell him where you were.

"I love you, Dean."

Yes you did…you said it.

And as you did, Dean's voice came differently this time, sounding almost as broken as yours.

"No, no-no-no-!!

Don't you dare, (y/n)! Don't you fucking dare do this to me!!! I swear to-"

And with that, you tossed the phone back on to the seat. You knew you'd see Dean again soon, your confidence was soaring. You'd make this right.

You had to.

The maliciousness you felt swelling inside of you made you open the car door, climbing out and to your feet. You stalked and stomped your way toward Crowley, a couple of yards away from now. You could feel the most colossal temper tantrum the world had ever seen building inside of you with each step.

A sense of fury ran cold through your blood, and that tunnel vision- it was calling your name eagerly, ready to be set free.

"I'm gonna fucking rip you apart…" You spat, and you gained only a silent response from Crowley as you closed the distance between you two.

His black suit shone bright in Baby's headlights; a single red rose in his coat's pocket was the only contrast to his utter darkness.

You huffed in anger, standing feet away from him now.

"You must be fucking suicidal." You fumed, and watched as he was eyeing you up and down again, just as he did the first time he'd met you.

"You're quite the sight this evening, pumpkin- something bothering you, love?" He queried, amused at your disheveled appearance.

"You're in my way." You warned, gesturing to Baby behind you. Crowley held up a finger, making a 'tisk-tisk-tisk' noise with his devilish tongue.

"(Y/n), sweetheart…Squirrel doesn't like anyone else driving that monstrosity of a vehicle…" He cautioned you, and you stood your ground, anger rising in your chest.

"...I wouldn't do anything to hurt me love, not yet- I need your help…and you need mine." Crowley said, shuffling a bit on his feet, but still minutely satisfied with himself.

"What the hell would I ever need your help with?!" You retorted, throwing your head back in furious amusement at the notion. Crowley leisurely examined his manicure as if he'd never been so relaxed, and spoke again.

"Someone close to you is…well, out for my throne…and you…" He told you, staring at you again to catch your response in detail.

Intrigued, your shoulders lowered a bit. "What do you fucking mean? Get to the damn part where I kill you." You took a step forward threateningly; and he held his palms out toward you.

"Oh, love- you have no idea do you? Daddy dearest wants his throne back, and he wants you there by his side…and I can't let that happen."

His words pierced your heart like ice; he had to be lying. There was no way…no way in hell he was even alive…

'That's impossible…' You thought.

"Not impossible love, quite true, actually. Dear Asmodeus is coming home to roost, and he wants his spoiled rotten princess by his side to conquer the world with-" You cut him off angrily at his words- he did not just say that fucking name.

"Get the fuck outta head my head, you son of a bitch!! My Dad was not a Prince of Hell -no fucking way.

You're lying because you know he's gonna rip you limb from limb-"

Just then, Crowley's hand shot out at you the way it had before; and yielded no results.

You tilted your head in offense, looking at him like he'd just pulled the trigger on an unloaded gun in attempt to kill you.

"No dice, asswipe." You grinned, taking a couple more strides to him, watching in pleasure as he went from 'asshole' to 'perplexed kitten' in mere seconds.

"Oh…I see you've already unleashed the beast in you, love?" He said, speaking more humbly and carefully this time. Then, he gave you one of his hungry, sexual-driven looks that made you want to gag.

You nodded, your eyes fixated on him. "Yeah, I have- with some help." You were going to say Rowena's name, but until you knew she'd be safe from him, you kept that part to yourself.

He sighed, troubled and frustrated. "You don't know what you've done…you've made it that much easier for him to find you!!!" Crowley's voice rose higher and higher, becoming a high-pitched squeal as he squawked his words at you.

"Soprano, I take it?" You sassed at him, crossing your arms.

"You're arrogant, (Y/n), and it's going to get you killed." He stated calmly in reply.

"I suggest we call a truce; you can even draw the paperwork yourself, I don't mind. But whether or not you choose to believe me, I'm telling you the truth."

You searched his eyes for perjury, eyeing him up and down watching his body language. Doing what you do for a living, you could tell when someone was being untruthful pretty easily; especially demons. And you saw no signs of it, which provoked your rage even more.

'There's no way my Dad is a Prince of Hell…but Crowley's scared…'

"I know you're looking for it, (y/n). Signs of deceit, blah blah blah…" He rolled his eyes and calmly shoved his hands back into his long coat pockets.

"Look at me, look at me in the eyes, love-" You obliged, poutingly returning his long gaze.

"I'm not lying to you. We're both in danger." His thick accent enveloped his words, but the silence was quickly broken by the sound of an engine roaring, hurdling towards you both as you stood in the road.

Crowley chuckled to himself and studied the pavement beneath his feet. "Huh…the Winchesters are here to save the day…" He trailed on.

You shifted uncomfortably, cursing under your breath.

'Fuck fuck fuck fucking fuuuuck!!! I'm in deep shit.' You thought.

"Yes, you are in deep shit." Crowley mocked you with a disgusting face you wanted to smack right off his head.

"Dig around in my head again and I'll kill you, asshole…" You muttered in annoyance.

As if Dean speeding toward you and Baby after you ran off wasn't enough, the King of Hell in the mix now made things all the more worse.

"Cut the name-calling, Princess…time to make a decision. Do we have a truce?" You turned away from the oncoming truck's headlights. Facing Crowley, deja' vu dawned on you as he held his hand out to you, open and waiting.

You sighed heavily in conflict. "We do this on my terms. Understand?" The truck you were certain Dean was in was almost upon you; you could feel him.

"Of course…name your price, Pigeon." He instructed, eyeing the oncoming vehicle warily.

'I'll take my time…he should be scared of Dean.' You thought with satisfaction.

"You come back to the bunker with us. No tricks, no games. We'll hear you out, and decide then." You demanded, keeping your feet planted firmly where they were, and you held your head a bit higher. After all, he came to you for help.

Crowley's face contorted in uproarious anger. "No deal!! Those flannel-wearing nightmares would sooner see me dead than as a bloody houseguest!" His voice rose higher again, making you laugh a bit as he scoffed at you defensively.

"Beggers can't be choosers, dick. Take it or leave it." You barked back, clenching your fists with lividity.

The truck came to a stop behind you as you awaited the King of Hell's response; and you heard Dean crying out your name before you heard his heavy boots pounding the pavement toward you.

Crowley hung his head in defeat. "Well, what's a girl to do…?"

****

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