#bruh the pikachu face from me was real

[masteraqua]

also the calypso's birthday episode ruled for a lot of reasons but stede murdering ned low? that ruled the hardest

[sailorsero]

nothin’ else like this - nsfw

author: claire (@sailorsero​) ship: solo adult bakugou katsuki, dash of adult bakugou x gender neutral reader, side adult kaminari denki x adult shinsou hitoshi prompt/genre: birthday & food kink themed solo play wordcount: 2887 warnings: explicit sexual content, swearing, kink, food fetish/food kink/sploshing a/n: • written for the Bakugou’s Birthday Bash Collaboration - check out the masterlist to see everyone elses!) • shoutout to @foolishfortuna who is writing an amazing food fetish kiribaku that inspired me to write this kink • i do not give permission for this (or any of my writing) to be reposted, by anyone, on this or any other website. please don’t do it! • title from ‘birthday cake’ by rihanna

nothin’ else like this *** pinkyofficial • HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE BLASTIEST BOY IN THE GALAXY!!! @explosiongoddynamight LOVE YOU!!! 💥🧡🍹🎂😘 CAN’T WAIT TO SEE YOU AND GET TURNT WITH MAH BOYSSS!!! BAKUSQUAD BABY!!! 👬🧍‍♀️👬 GO TELL DYNAMIGHT HAPPT BIRTHDAY Y’ALL!!! #dynamight #pinky #birthdaybitch

its_cellophane: happt birthday @explosiongoddynamight pinkyofficial: @its_cellophane suddenly we’re a squad of 4 #cellowho theredriot: Look at us 🥺 can’t wait to celebrate together, love you guys!!! happy birthday bro @explosiongoddynamight ♥️ chargebolt: But can we get #birthdaybitch trending tho?? 🤔

Bakugou tutted, flicking through the photos Mina had posted to Instagram. One from last years Hero Gala, with Tweedle Dumb, Dumber and Dumbest crowded into his personal space - all smiles, suits and champagne flutes. A post-graduation selfie with the woman herself, where he felt so triumphant at moving onto the next stage of his quest to become #1, that he hadn’t even objected to the filter that gave them huge eyelashes and bear ears. A couple from their most recent meetups, candids from their school days (mostly taken without his knowledge, let alone permission; the only one that he was posing for featured a double middle finger that had set Iida off for a good fifteen minutes), one from a photoshoot his publicist had strong armed him into and his friends had christened ‘The Great Bakugou Thirst Trap of 2020’.

Bakugou did not consider himself a sentimental person, or someone who placed a great deal of importance on his own birthday; he hadn’t even made any fuss when you told him you were needed in Osaka for a mission that would take you away two days before he turned 24.

But he couldn’t help but go back to the first photo of the bunch, allowing himself a soft smile he would deny under oath.

His 17th birthday, his first birthday with - ugh - real friends. He remembered rolling his eyes when Racoon Eyes had given her blindingly pink phone to the waitress, yelling at Sparky and Tape Face when they’d shoved themselves into the same side of the booth as the rest of them, growling when Shitty Hair had told him to ‘say ‘cheese’, Bakubro!’.

They all looked so young, pre-undercuts and piercings and late teenage growth spurts. He’d have to remember the (very secret) happiness that night had brought him next time Kirishima annoyed him by stepping mud into his carpet or Kaminari pissed him off by opening his big fat mouth.

Bakugou was drawn from his thoughts by knocking on his office door. Knocking that started out strong for the first hit, dropping noticeably into something more tentative for the rest; probably once they remembered whose door they were knocking on. Kirishima had once told him that the interns drew straws on who had to ‘rattle the beast’s cage’ (interact with Bakugou). He’d know; that idiot had been rattling Bakugou’s cage 25/8 since their first year at Yuuei.

“Come in!”

The door opened far enough for an assistant who had already been by this morning with a sack of birthday cards mixed in with regular fan mail to poke their head through the gap.

“Mr Dynamight, Sir, there’s another delivery for you.”

Bakugou nodded, leaning back in his leather desk chair and stretching out his back. Damn paperwork day, and on his birthday. Fuck, was 24 the age your back started aching from sitting in a goddamn chair?!

The assistant continued as they approached the desk, despite the fact that Bakugou didn’t fucking ask.

“It’s a cake, from a lovely bakery downtown; a delivery person just dropped it off. Their cakes are exquisite, by all accounts.”

They stepped back from the desk once the baby blue box was securely placed down, a white satin ribbon wound expertly around it. An embossed logo Bakugou recognised shone under the overhead light.

The blonde’s quirk made short work of the ribbon, burning it idly with one hand so the rest could be severed with ease.

Bakugou flipped the lid of the box up, letting it fall fully open so he could inspect the contents. He blinked. He blinked again.

It was a cake. A strawberry shortcake, slathered with cream and fresh fruit, and perfectly placed in the centre was a chocolate disc with immaculately piped words.

♡ HAPPY BIRTHDAY DYNAMIGHT ♡

“It’s from your fanclub!”

He let his eyes drift back up to the assistant, who - from what Bakugou could infer from the overly positive, cheery tone he was using - clearly thought Bakugou was seconds away from blasting the expensive gateau across his office, and was trying to avert having to call the janitorial staff back up to this floor. He understood; unbridled, perhaps not-always-reasonable rage was kind of his brand, and the cleaners had already had to make a return journey today after Kaminari had set off several sprinklers making toast.

A cake. Yes, a cake. From his fanclub. A cake from his fanclub. That he was definitely going to eat and nothing else, nothing weird! A cake for him to eat. At home. In private. As soon as possible.

“That’s-” He cleared his throat and tried again. “That’s...great. It looks delicious...yes. Thanks. That’s all. You can...go.”

The assistant looked like they were struggling to process the combination of words that had just left Bakugou, but he was pleased when they decided to take this struggle on the road and left his office with a rushed “Yes, Mr Dynamight, Sir, thank you, you are welcome, good bye!” and the click of the office door.

Bakugou barely had time to drag his fingers through his hair, letting out a breath he had apparently been holding since he’d spoken, before the door opened again.

“Knock knock!” “You know he says it doesn’t count if you say it instead of doing it, especially if you’ve already open- Denki!”

Bakugou groaned as Kaminari shot across the room, peering into the still-open box on the desk. “Ooh, that looks amazing, bro! Can I have some?”

“Hey, Kats! Happy birthday, man!” Kirishima beamed at him before dropping his gaze to the cake Kaminari was currently eyefucking. Bakugou slid the box an inch or two closer to himself. He steadfastly ignored the other blonde’s question.

“Thanks, Ei. What’s Dunce Face doing here - world’s worst birthday present?”

Kirishima snorted, clapping Kaminari on the shoulder. “Ran into him a few blocks away on our patrols; figured we’d catch you now to say ‘happy birthday’ on the actual day instead of waiting for Saturday!”

Kaminari brought out what he probably considered the big guns; his finger guns, that he did for literally everything. “Happy birthday, Blasty! Speaking of your birthday, where did the cake come from? Sent with luuurve from Osaka? Although, that would be weird because you don’t even really like sweets and this won’t keep until Saturday when we get togeth-“

“It’s from my fanclub, Pikachu, and keep your staticky hands off my cake!” Bakugou flipped the lid back down, shielding the cake from view.

“Man, don’t be like that - there’s no way you’re gonna be able to eat all that by yourself!” Kaminari whined.

“Relax, Denks - you know Y/N has a cake ordered for Bakubro’s Belated Birthday Blowout!” Kirishima patted his back consolingly.

“I really wish you’d all stop calling it that. God, letting you guys have their number was a fucking mistake.”

Kaminari looked thoughtful; it was terrifying. “You know, I heard, one time, a hero got given a homemade cake by a fan, and when they took a bite of it, they realised they had a mouth full of the fan’s pubic hair!”

“Dude!” “What the everloving fuck, Dunce Face?!”

Kaminari just beamed, apparently proud of himself for making Bakugou question his life on the anniversary of his birth.

“Firstly, does this cake look fucking homemade to you? Secondly, where the fuck did you read that? ‘Disgusting Stories for Stupid Fucking Idiots Monthly’?”

Kaminari shrugged, nonplussed. “Sero told me.”

“Yes, then. Same thing, pretty much.”

Kirishima interrupted, looking thoughtful. “If you think Bakubro’s cake is full of pubes, why do you want to eat it?”

“Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve had a mouthful of pubes, bro! ‘Toshi’s more of an au naturel kind of guy…”

Bakugou saw Kirishima’s (painful looking) thinking face intensify, and intervened immediately. “Ei, do not pull at this thread. He-“ Bakugou punctuated with a harsh jab towards the electric hero. “- has told us several times that he’s had Mindfucker’s dirty feet in his mouth before, not to mention all the bodily fluids, and then there’s all the disgusting public places they’ve fucked, and-“

“Don’t kinkshame me, bruh!” Kaminari cut in, sounding lowkey offended, but Bakugou noted the look of pride from before hadn’t diminished, even a little bit.

Bakugou snorted. He constantly shamed Kaminari and his walking corpse of a boyfriend, but that was because they were shamelessly disgusting oversharing nymphomaniacs and someone had to do it. Preferably before one of them creamed their pants in a karaoke bar again. That was Shinkami shaming, not kinkshaming.

He definitely had no room to kinkshame people; not with the plans he had for this cake.

***

Bakugou slammed the door to his apartment shut with his hip and laid the bakery box down on the side table so he could make quick work of his boots and jacket.

God, that had to have been the longest taxi ride of his life. He couldn’t risk the subway with such a precious cargo, so he’d had to sit in the back of the cab next to the box (that he’d had to resist the urge to belt in) and sweat in silence.

Bakugou didn’t know where this kink had come from - maybe he’d watched too much Food Network in his formative years, or passing by the bakery with the amazing smell opposite his junior high school twice a day for three years before going home to jerk it had warped his sexuality; all he knew was, he was gonna fuck this cake.

It was a shame that you were miles and miles away and unavailable for a Facetime like no other; introducing you to his kink had been one of the best weekends of his life, and he was pretty sure - if he knows you as well as he thinks he does - you’d placed an order for two birthday cakes for his belated celebrations.

Maybe you’d got other stuff in mind, too - pie, custard, ice cream, syrups, chocolate, sushi, spaghetti, fruit…and now he was half-hard, still fully dressed and standing in the hallway.

Well, you weren’t here now, but it was his birthday, dammit! He would just have to play alone, and send you some photos afterwards.

Bakugou seized the box and made quick strides until he could place it down on his bedside table.

The comforter flew off of the bed, pooling into a lavish lump on the floor right before the pillows landed one by one on top. The undersheet was last, leaving the rubber sheet beneath exposed to one of the only two people who knew it was there in the first place.

The box made its final move to the middle of the protected mattress, where Bakugou tilted it just enough to be able to coax the cake free with help from gravity and without getting it all over his hands. Not yet…

Bakugou made short work of his clothes, kicking his pants and briefs off impatiently a second before climbing onto the bed and kneeling beside his prize.

Normally, he’d take his time, play around more, have more of a plan, but today, the anticipation had him on a knife edge already. It had been nearly four hours since he’d unwrapped this gift, and he was dying to play with it.

Bakugou leant his knees spread apart, sinking into a squat so he was as close as he could get to his treat.

He was fully hard now, and gave his cock a couple of quick pumps, letting his fist settle loosely from the base down as he took a deep breath and brought his leaking tip to the side of the cake.

His breath left him in a quick rush when the first contact was made; the cream was on the cooler side, and the smooth finish of the outside of the cake was everything he had been missing since he’d last indulged himself like this.

It took all the self control Bakugou had to only push the head in, then pause and take a breath, focusing intently on every sensation as he pushed in as slowly as was physically possible.

The afternoon of waiting felt like edging, so the sensation against his cock, inch by inch, was almost too much as it was not enough.

The sponge was almost as soft and velvety as the cream, but providing some texture and resistance that felt as delicious as the dessert looked.

Bakugou let out the first of many moans as he bottomed out, the air in the bedroom already beginning to smell like sugar and strawberries - just the right side of cloying, and he knew before long it would be so heady he’d be dizzy from it.

He pulled out almost as slowly as he went in, raising himself back up a little and bracing himself with his hands on the other side of the intact cake, leaving him looking over it on his hands and knees.

His reentry at a slightly higher point of the cake wasn’t quite as slow as the first breach, but he’s never been known for his patience.

Bakugou pulled in and out a couple of times, leaving a clear hole to fuck as he began to do just that, his hips begnining to thrust in a steady rhythm.

It didn’t take long for the squishy sounds coming from between his legs to turn into sloppy ones; the delicate cake was beginning to buckle already, the defined layers enveloping his cock becoming mushy around him.

Balancing his weight on one arm, he swiped his now-free hand across the top of the cake, coming away with as generous a handful of cream and strawberry slices as he could without threatening the structural integrity of the cake prematurely.

Bakugou raised his hand and smacked it right into the middle of his chest, before smearing it across his right pec, rubbing purposefully over his nipple as he did so. His hips sped up slightly without intention - or him noticing - as he alternated between smearing the food deeper into his flushed skin, and tugging on his nipple.

He could hear whimpering in his ears and it took a beat or two for Bakugou to realise they were coming from him. Fuck, it all just felt so good.

He blindly grabbed another small handful, this time coming away with some cake mixed into his spoils, before repeating the treatment on his left pec, but with a roughness borne of his increasing desperation.

“Fuck, fuck, shit, I-“ He hissed out a breath, pinching his nipple firmly as he felt the cake begin to collapse inwards, the squelch of the fucking he was giving it echoing in his ears.

A final scoop of the dessert onto his fingers went straight into his mouth, his plush, pink lips parting to accommodate three fingers; he was close.

Bakugou’s balance was starting to go as his orgasm approached, so he pulled his fingers free from his tongue and resumed his position, but beginning to sink lower into the mess he was fucking into his mattress protectors. From his angle, his balls began to slap what was left of the sides of the sinking cake, and the noise that created tore another moan from the blonde.

He could feel the sticky mess coating his crotch and inner thighs, closing his eyes as he lost himself in the feeling of indulging in the kink that turned him on like nothing else, wanting to savour something he knew was nearly over.

“Oh my fuck- ing, shit, oh, fuck-“

Bakugou’s hips were moving at a frantic pace now, chasing a release inside the cake while it still had an inside.

His orgasm had been teetering for a couple of minutes, then came all at once. A shout turned into a long, drawn out moan that was almost a cry, as he spilled his release in one, two, three bursts; biting his lip so hard, he’d discover later he’d drawn blood.

His arms gave out before he’d come back to himself, his lower half landing into the gooey puddle of expensive baking with a splat that would almost have been enough to get him half hard again if his soul hadn’t just shot out of his dick into a cake.

The blonde let out a deep, satisfied sigh, smiling dopily into the shiny, specialist bedsheet. Happy birthday to me, indeed.

Bakugou had only just had the energy to raise himself back onto his hands and knees when he had to find a little more to turn his head towards the door at the sound of it creaking open.

“Awh, did someone get you a birthday cake, babe?”

He nodded. You were back early.

You dropped your duffel on the floor, taking your first step towards the bed as you slid your shirt off with ease.

“Ooh, good - you saved some for me! I’m starving…”

[incognitowetrust]

Unpopular opinion as someone who doesn’t even read comic books, play the Arkham games, or is even technically really “into” DC and Marvel as a whole, but I’m gonna say it anyway because I guess I need to vent or something…

The existence of Harley Quinn and the ways she is typically handled as a character really friggin’ gets in the way of my ability to enjoy The Joker. Why? Hm, well, I suppose the simplest way of describing it is that… like… cartoony evil-bastards are loads of fun because they’ve got big personalities and whatever they are and/or the situation the characters are in is separate enough from reality. It’s not hard to enjoy the conflicts between characters, because nothin’ like good ol’ escapism via witnessing worldbuilding. However, if you add some form of motivation/conflict/etc that’s not only dark and edgy and gritty, but a bit too close to shit that happens in the real world, suddenly the tone of literally everything is different. Not to say that “edgier” interpretations of superheroes and supervillains are inherently bad, though admittedly I feel like a lot of these attempts ironically actually lose their emotional maturity and heart when they attempt it.

Harley wouldn’t bother me as much if she had some more self-agency. Like, okay, I get that she’s also not sane and whatever, but she’s not exactly dumb, she’s capable and independent when it’s convenient. If she gave zero fucks and couldn’t be emotionally hurt by Joker, as well as not being afraid to be a danger to him in return, then her typical role at Joker’s side wouldn’t bug me. However, she’s pretty damn submissive to him, and so many damn times over and over again what keeps happening is she puts total blind trust and love in him, and he deliberately screws her over, and her reaction is of genuine hurt and surprise. Cue surprised pikachu face. I understand that some would argue that they’ve got a good character dynamic (good as in well-written and fucked-up-with-a-purpose), because of a variety of reasons, and I also understand that Harley as a character, Joker as a character, and their relationship/dynamic/etc has varying iterations and interpretations, but… Imma be real with y’all, I’d rather just enjoy some campy villains and not have to also sit through some domestic violence that’s just… there. I don’t care if it’s fictional and iconic, lemme hear Mark Hamill’s glorious voice sass and troll the hell outta a sad man dressed as a bat, in peace. Part of it also might be the fact that Harley is also (like many comic book women) often a sex symbol. You know, like that shitty Suicide Squad outfit the actress friggin’ hated, and is unimpressive design-wise at best. I don’t really even feel like elaborating on the ways I’d figure blatant-sexy-Harley is an issue for me. Blah blah blah really it’s simply one thing that when paired with the other things makes it problematic and obnoxious.

Anyway, uh… yeah I think I’m just done. For some reason I got a bunch of pesky thoughts buggin’ me, and I had to write the basics of it down so my brain could relax and switch subjects; a common problem of mine. In a world where real women are killed every day by their partners, and good representation matters, and representation that isn’t bleak-as-fuck also matters, AND bruh sometimes I just want an enjoyable distraction from the world and I’m not ashamed to admit that… I just kinda wish I didn’t have to manually filter through abuse-victim-Harley in order to find and enjoy hammy (especially Hamill) Joker time.

[ferret-not-microwave]

Les Amis Modern AU: What They Wish Others Believed About Them (Part 4)

[I kind of wrote this in response to some general trends in characterising the Amis. There are some stereotypes which I'm not quite comfortable with.]

[So much delay. Sorry.]

Joly:

• Really, really wishes that people don't laugh at him for his anxiety issues. He is truly terrified of getting infected with some disease or the other, and even more terrified of spreading it to Joly and Chetta. It doesn't help that he is one of the most sincere students of the lot, and spends a lot of time reading medical journals, which feed into his panic. He feels safe wearing masks, using rubbing alcohol (or wearing gloves), and having a bag full of basic first aid supplies, and gets embarrassed if anyone judges him for it. Also, he doesn't like it if "concerned" people ask him whether he had a past history of debilitating disease or something, he doesn't want to discuss it at all, okay? -_-

• When Joly fusses about illness in the Musain, it is him letting his guard down. He has to actively rein in his anxiety to function in the hospital, and gets super exhausted from hiding it. His tells in the hospital are are wide eyes behind his protective goggles and a compulsive toying with the wristband of his gloves. He's one of the most courageous individuals ever because of what he faces on a regular basis. He hopes that he might get some reassurance from the Amis to stop his spiralling thoughts, and he mostly gets it.

• Joly definitely has a wild side, and is more than his anxious, serious self. If there's one who can one-up Courf's cheesy pick-up lines, it is Joly. With a eyebrow quirk that leaves everyone giggly and blushing. If there's one who can set a Karaoke stage on fire (not literally, that would be R), it's Joly. If there's one who can down shots to match Bahorel, it's Joly. The one who is the most eager to go skinny dipping? Joly. The one who is, oddly, the most eager to break a pinata? Joly. Joly is more than a "quiet science nerd who checks his tongue in the mirror all the time".

• Joly and Ferre INSIST that they do not talk about random medical trivia all the time. Honestly, their shared interests involve Jane Austen and massive amounts of gossip with tea, along with Doctor Who, Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett. MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF TEA, IN EVERY SENSE OF THE WORD.

• There are days he wants to tackle people like an angry Pikachu. But real life is tough, and not everyone has the privilege of confronting people. But he really, really can do without people casting aspersions on his poly relationship with Bossuet and 'Chetta ALL THE TIME. He has been confronted as an "opportunist" in Pride walks, faced with people's pitying look to Bossuet or 'Chetta as though he is stringing them both along or "sharing" 'Chetta with Bossuet, cheered on and slapped on the back by straight cismen for "knowing how to have fun", and once directly asked if he's the one who will marry 'Chetta. He goes into panic often, and for the longest time thought himself a really awful person.

• Beware a Joly in a farmer's market. Not because of haggling, but because some people ALWAYS assume that he's amazing at math while he actually fumbles at the cash counter. Similarly, he hates it if people crack shady jokes about him being a Marie Kondo around him (just because he likes neatness AND MARIE KONDO THANK YOU VERY MUCH). And no, he doesn't like rice all the time.

• Please give back the Tupperwares. Unlike popular opinion, Joly won't chase you down for his Tupperware like some do, and isn't particularly possessive about them. That doesn't mean that he can replace misplaced Tupperwares for all eternity, please. ;_; (Same goes for the beeswax food wraps and dino bandages, c'mon peeps don't help yourself to them indiscriminately ;_;).

• Apart from his baggy sweatshirt and dinosaur pajamas aesthetic, he also has a dress shirt and pleated pants collection that would probably leave Jay Gatsby jealous AF.

Bossuet:

• Is really self-conscious about his receding hairline. He had taken to shaving his head to make it look cool, because he's really uncomfortable with weird jokes about his age and baldness. Shaving heads is pretty high-maintenance at times, and he's slowly opening up to let the hair grow back on the sides of the head for the heck of it. He used to have a large collection of hats too, which he still uses occasionally, but now it is just a fashion accessory, not a way to hide. He likes scarves as well.

• He used to flinch and swallow his discomfort when people would touch his scalp without permission, now he firmly brushes off their hands with a light scowl.

• Similarly, he hates it when people actively try to compare him to Joly. He hates being considered less successful, a "third wheel" to Joly and 'Chetta and someone who can be taken less seriously. This doesn't mean he is jealous or angry with Joly at all though.

• He feels really, really angry when Joly sometimes breaks down in front of him and 'Chetta when confronted with comments on their relationship. He can and will stonewall anyone who hurts either of them.

• Bossuet understands Joly's anxiety because he faces anxiety as well. He often gets nightmares of his "bad luck" turning batshit Final-Destination-esque and resulting in horrible accidents to Joly, 'Chetta amd the rest of the Amis. He knows the "bad luck" jokes are good humouring, but it wears him down a lot in exam/interview/work meeting weeks and leaves him third and fourth guessing himself. He had also entered a bout of depression because the "bad luck" jokes had convinced himself that he can't progress in life because what's the use. It took a lot of work and, oddly, a super niche article from the Amis blog detailing research on how some societies actively ostracize people for being "unlucky" and how it is linked to major societal oppression, to help him.

• Bossuet loves having a heart of gold. Sometimes some people tell him not to be so nice ("what if that person has cheated you off money with a sob story?"). He refuses, because he cherishes being nice and knows his limits. He sometimes worries if he's being stupid, like when the great "attendance-by-proxy" disaster happens. But Marius' broad and grateful smile, "hi, how are you doing?" texts every morning, and monthly batch of AMAZING chocolate cookies makes it worth it.

• Bossuet's accidents do lead to some happy accidents. He stumbled on a whole new recipe of gooey brownies by accident. An amazing combination of dark chocolate and red chilli peppers (maybe not so weird in retrospect)? By accident. He fell upon Courfe's sandcastle once, but it resulted in a rare hermit crab crawling out. Courfe gave a treat at the new brunch place he was saving up for, because apparently that hermit crab had made Ferre all starry-eyed and happier than he had been in weeks. And as for the rest pf the accidents? Nothing that duct tape , 'Chetta, Joly and occasionally Feuilly can't help with. In all, his accidents are always smallish, and never monumental.

• Bossuet can put 'Chetta and Ferre to shame with his eyebrow raising (at least occasionally? Hehe?). He does that a lot when people ask him if he has put water on fire or has fallen into wells. "Like bruh? I don't go anywhere close to wells, I love sidewalks and what's with everyone asking me about the kitchen being on fire?" He also does that a lot to piners (R, Ep, Courfe, 'Parnasse).

• Bossuet is one of Enj's closest friends in Law School (apart from Courfe), because Law classes and shared optional papers. Duh. They often have long discussions which are super pleasant, fluffy, yet sensible because of his really sensitive optimism. Bossuet's unorthodox insights make their way into Enj's notes for ABC meetings, and he credits him always. Similarly Enj bails him out with attendance issues. Bossuet often calmly advices him about R. Since Joly has a similar relationship with Ferre, Bossuet and Joly sometimes help Enj and Ferre sort out lingering grievances between them, or plain hear them out. Enj and Bossuet have Froyo days.

Musichetta:

• Loves, loves, LOVES books. Has no idea why people think nerds come in a kind of stereotype only ("I don't look like you", she complains to Joly and Ferre one day, "but I can defeat you two in a Jane Austen quiz WTF!" They agree emphatically, and Ferre adds "and maybe Jehan too. Maybe".). She is a massive sucker for Comic-Cons and hates men who try to prove otherwise. -_- She loves libraries as much as she loves bars.

• Has no idea why people think she's super bitchy or about to eat them up. Many people plain run when she so much as looks at them while doing a shift as a barista in the Musain. Or ask for "the nicer barista" (Cosette?). When she breathes a sigh of relief when someone treats her nice, she also braces herself for self-righteous "saviours". "Are you sure you are doing okay with those men?" "They are using you!". If she poured milk all over a client's trousers because of such a comment not-so-accidentally, no one needs to know. ;)

• Sometimes, she feels drained out. Having to support both her partners anxiety can leave her down too. They are amazing people, who love her a lot, and know that she needs her recharge time. Often Bossuet takes over in caring for Joly and vice-versa. 'Chetta has a small arrangement with Courfe on those days. If he has free time, the two of them go for an amazing, super relaxing spa session. Bahorel is back-up spa partner. The two of them know not to ask questions, but let her unwind her thoughts and air them out.

• 'Chetta joined Les Amis L'ABC much later. One of her pet peeves were when Joly or Bossuet would go to protests which could easily turn violent because of right wing trolls and the police swarming the city. Specifically, when they went without more than a word or two to her. She would get worried sick, particularly if they couldn't pick up the phone within half an hour of the protest ending, and would cry alone because she didn't want to come off as needy and one of those people who do not support their cause.

• She finally broke down before them after Bossuet had a small concussion. They were really shamefaced at having not thought about her feelings, and their apologies ran for hours. While Joly promised to regularly give her updates, Bossuet asked her to join the ABC if she is comfortable with it. It took time for her to accept that she was being in the group because of the cause and not because she wanted to helicopter-mom Joly and Bossuet, but when the next protest happened, she realised that she was in a place she always wanted to be in.

• The Amis thought that she was a member anyway. She would holler at

• 'Chetta hates it when people think that it's Joly or Bossuet who end up lavishing gifts on her all the time. True, they do, but she does it too. She's a sucker for thoughtful gift giving, and she spoils the Amis A LOT OF TIMES. She can scour the Earth for ideal gifts for her boys, and she often takes care of a stray bill or two, as much as she humanely can. She doesn't play a one-upping battle of gifts though, she just loves a lot.

• She is really self conscious about her small hands and tiny feet. Which seem to her too small in comparison with the rest of her body. Sometimes she used to wear really fluffy mittens in winter to hide how small her hands her. Not so much now. :)

•She confided to Jehan that she didn't like people romanticizing her small hands and feet because she thought they were putting unrealistic standards of the "frail beauty" on her when she was anything but. She said this after she heard R chortle about how Joly had introduced her as having tiny hands and feet. The discussion ended in her gaping and then crying out of laughter because (according to Jehan) apparently Joly was really drunk when he first talked to the Amis about her, and had also said something like "she has fortune-teller eyes, yannow! Ask Bossuet! And her dimples! Marius, you booby, you pool noodle, I know how you feel like when you met Cosette!"

Apparently Bahorel had replied with "you need new pants" and then started laughing like no tomorrow. Bossuet, not so drunk (because he was late to the party), had taken the sensible route and shown the Amis the picture the three of them took after their first date.

• Seriously, she knows zilch about tarot cards or natal charts.

[leverage-ot3]

notable moments from The Three Days of The Hunter Job

leverage 2.05

hunt for the truth = fox news

you can’t change my mind, sorry

- - - - -

Nate: Here's what we can do. We can probably get you enough money to save the house and pay for medical bills--

Sarah: We aren't interested in money, Mr. Ford. This woman took my father's self-esteem. She took his reputation. She took his good name. That's what he needs back.

someone needs to make a compilation of their clients being noble as hell

- - - - -

Sophie: I wanna take the lead on this one. I wanna do what you do.

Nate: Yeah, listen, I know breakups can be very difficult, Sophie.

Sophie: Whoa. No, that's not what this is about.

Nate: I know that you have this need to be in control right now, you know.

Sophie: I don't have any such need.

Nate: But you can't project that onto the con.

Sophie: Excuse me? This, coming from the man who spent an entire year drunk, working out his obsessive vengeance on every dimwit in a suit who happened to cross our line of vision.

Nate: Hey, you put some thought into that one, didn't you?

Sophie: You know, I'm not tryin' to control the universe just because some guy dumped me. I-I appreciate the concern. I just, I need a new challenge.

Nate: Okay. (hands Sophie the files) This is your job.

Sophie: Thanks. Now, let's go get this bitch. (walks away)

Nate: Oh, boy

fucking get rekt nate you’re the literal last one to talk

- - - - -

huh nate is wearing flannel in this one

- - - - -

Sophie: Exactly. And then to protect themselves, they issue an apology to Mr. Pennington and then they throw Monica Hunter into the jaws of the very media machine that she bent to her own malicious will.

Parker: Wow. I gotta say, Sophie's briefings are much more dramatic.

Eliot: And poetic.

parker and eliot are cute

- - - - -

Sophie: But we can sell a story that commands respect. A story that she's gonna chase to get the respect she craves. Hm? Pack your bags, everyone. We're going to D.C. to make news.

(everyone continues sitting, looking uncomfortable)

Nate: That's when you wanna...

Sophie: I wanna do that bit again. Pack your bags, everyone. We're going to D.C. to make news. (leaves room)

Nate: She's walking into the closet

SOPHIE ITS OKAY YOU DONT NEED TO GO IN THE CLOSET

- - - - -

Parker: I got the pass. Easy.

Sophie: Parker, we went over this.

[Exterior Studio]

Sophie: You're not supposed to take it. Get caught with it.

Parker: I don't know how to get caught.

Sophie: Yeah, I know it's difficult to steal badly. Just, just try

- - - - -

Monica (grabs Parker): Hey. Hey. I will have you arrested for trespassing if you do not tell me what you are doing here.

Parker: Technically, you can't have me arrested for trespassing because you don't own the station.

Sophie: Parker, tell her the story

parker: TRY ME BITCH

- - - - -

hardison doing crazy tinfoil hat guy is iconic

+ parker and hardison’s high five and “that’s what I’m talkin about!” ADORABLE

- - - - -

Parker: Eliot, these conspiracies aren't real, right?

Eliot: What do you mean?

Parker: Like that one over there that says all the major wars of the past 50 years were ordered by members of The Council.

Eliot: Parker, I'm not at liberty to discuss that with you. (walks away)

Parker: You're not a member of The Council, are you? Eliot? Is he?

Nate: Oh, I don't know. (walks away)

Parker: Huh? Uh, Nate, is he?

parker looked so vulnerable asking it and eliot’s just like,,, imma fuck with her LMFAO

also this is another chaotic ot3 scene that I’d die for

- - - - -

eliot taking the general’s id with his pencil and handing it off to hardison? SMOOTH AS FUCK

- - - - -

Parker: But what if he won't talk to us?

Monica: Then we celebrate.

Parker: Celebrate?

Monica: Denial means guilt. Refusal means more guilt. Punch out my cameraman, and I'll kiss you on the mouth.

Camera Man: Mm-hm.

parker: 👀👀👀

- - - - -

parker gets hit with a car ,,, how many times in this series does she get hit with a car ??

- - - - -

monica’s face when she sees parker get hit by a car is LITERALLY the exact same as the surprised pikachu face

+

bruh imagine you see this happening ,,, like a girl get hit by a car, a suit running out, grabbing stuff of her body, then running away ???

her playing dead on the ground for a hot minute before “waking up”, dusting herself off and walking away ???

- - - - -

Hardison: Move. Don't stop. Come on.

Monica: They ran her over.

Hardison: I know, but we gotta go. Security cameras, the ATM cameras, the traffic cameras. We're always being watched. Just put your head down. Act natural.

Monica: Why are you dressed like a mailman?

Hardison: Invisible man, mailman, nobody notices the mailman. He blends right in. Just like a circus clown.

- - - - -

Parker: We totally went to the moon.

Eliot: Movie sets. I've seen 'em. They're outside of Albuquerque.

Parker: Why would there still be sets there?

Eliot: Because they're gonna reuse 'em for the Mars mission. Repaint it all red.

her bumping shoulders with eliot and leaning on him? the casual intimacy that nourishes my S O U L

- - - - -

Sophie: She has to have corroboration from her own sources. She has to craft the narrative. Monica Hunter has to be the author of her own personal nightmare.

Nate: Do I sound that creepy when I...?

Eliot: Hell yes.

Parker: Mm-hm.

Nate: Really?

Eliot: You do

- - - - -

Sophie: The only question is whether Hardison guessed her sources right.

Hardison: G-guess? Guess?

Sophie: Well, you know.

Hardison: Woman, my name Alec Hardison. I do not guess, OK? Look, journalists, they're lazy. They always go back to the same sources. I compared Monica Hunter's stories for the last ten years and created a heuristic model based on her sources. I-I filtered by story type, priority and evidentiary chain. Look, (pulls up info on laptop) sex scandal: 87 percent chance she goes to these sources. Serial killer scare: 90 percent she contacts these sources for confirmation. Government secrets and health scare intersects: Ninety-five percent chance she goes to these sources. Look, look. Right there. She's emailing them right now. Look.

- - - - -

Hardison: Get me out of here.

Sophie: Yeah, I'm working on it.

Parker (comes out of back room pulling on jacket): I'm on it.

Sophie: No, no, no, no, no, you cannot go. You're dead. Monica Hunter sees you and the whole con is blown.

Parker: Right

PARKER WAS R E A D Y TO GO IN AFTER HIM WE LOVE A PROTECTIVE OT3

- - - - -

Hardison: Damn the con. I'm a black man caught on an Army base with a video camera. I am going to jail forever.

the realest part of the show

- - - - -

Hardison: Eliot, get me everything you can on a Lieutenant Abbot.

[Apartment]

Hardison: Just-just do what I taught you.

Eliot (typing on laptop): Now, the "http" thing comes before—

[Interrogation Room 2]

Eliot: --the "www-dot," right?

Hardison: Eliot!

[Apartment]

Eliot: Which one's the forward slash?

Sophie: Oh, come on.

[Interrogation Room 2]

Hardison: It ain't the time, Eliot. It ain't the time.

[Apartment]

Eliot: It's not fun when you're hanging out there in the wind and there's a dude behind a laptop cracking jokes, is there?

Parker: (holding a gas mask over her face before looking over it) I like it when we switch jobs. It's exciting

someone PLEASE make an eliot-being-bad-at-technology compilation I’m begging

also it’s officially canon that hardison tries teaching eliot about technology

- - - - -

Eliot: No, that's everything on this guy.

Lieutenant: Sir, I need to know why you're on this base.

Hardison: Yes. Why am I on this base?

Lieutenant: I'm asking you.

Hardison: No, I'm asking you. Why am I on this base? Why am I in this room?

Lieutenant: So I can ask you questions.

Hardison: Or maybe it's so I can ask you questions, Lieutenant Kyle Abbot, Social Security 823-24-6270?

Lieutenant: I don't know what you're up to.

Hardison: Maybe you’re not cleared to know. Two disciplinary actions? That one in Germany? Maybe you're just too much of a security risk.

(lieutenant goes to leave and Hardison slams his fist on the table)

Hardison: Did I say you could leave?

(lieutenant swallows nervously)

T H I S

S C E N E

T H O

- - - - -

[Army Base Gate]

Nate: Not gonna work.

Eliot: It's all in the salute, man.

[Apartment]

Sophie: Just work the stars and bars. Nobody wants to--

[Army Base Gate]

(a soldier moves to the side of the car and leans in, saluting Nate)

Sophie: --look a general in the eye.

Nate: Uh, good form soldier. As you were.

Soldier: Clear.

(the gate goes up and Nate pulls into the base, parking near a building. He gets out of the car and walks toward the door)

- - - - -

Nate: We hunt for the truth through many dark places. (approaches Monica menacingly) I am a patriot, Ms. Hunter. I'm sorry. (to Eliot) Earl.

(Monica takes a can of pepper spray from her purse and sprays it in Nate’s face, driving him back. She runs out the door as he groans in pain. Eliot goes to pat his back)

Eliot: Good thing Parker switched that with water.

Nate: Didn't! Didn't switch. (they both start coughing)

LMFAO

- - - - -

Monica: My friends, this is the enemy. Our water has been poisoned.

(an aide spits out a mouthful of water)

JFNSKDKEJWJNFJ

- - - - -

(Eliot is cutting vegetables while Nate opens a bottle of wine and Hardison swirls orange soda in a wine glass)

hardison is literally swirling his neon orange soda in a wine glass as eliot cooks actual food for the fam I CANNOT

- - - - -

Parker (holds up photo): Loch Ness Monster.

Hardison: Loch Ness submarine.

Parker: No!

Eliot: Scottish waters are cold and deep. It's a perfect place to test.

Parker (holds up photo): Area 51.

Eliot: True.

Hardison: False.

Eliot: That's true.

Hardison: False. She said Area 51, 51.

Eliot: I'm sorry. False. Area 52.

Hardison: Been there.

Eliot: Yep

I’m crying the ot3 was top tier chaotic this entire episode and parker was having A Time™ with all these conspiracies

someone make a compilation of these scenes overlayed with the wii music. pls.

[ghostly-cabbage]

Frigid (Chapter 3)

Genre: Horror, Angst, Enemies to Friends

Chapter Rating: M (Language, Underage Drug Use)

Word Count: 5,326

AO3  FFN

<<Previous | Next>> 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear old Dad got home late that night while Wes and Kyle were tucking into a plate of pizza rolls. Wes heard the door open and his Dad's voice from down the hall.

"Tell Roger that it doesn't matter, whatever it takes, Mr. Masters expects it to get done." He walked past the living room without so much as a glance at the two of them. His voice faded down the hall punctuated by the sound of his door closing.

Wes snorted and stuffed another pizza roll in his mouth. Stupid Dad with his stupid government job. Why the hell bring them to Illinois just to ignore them? He curled his fingers into the upholstery of their new couch, gripping it until his fingertips ached and the smell from the Ikea warehouse threatened to make him sick. He forced himself to swallow the bite and shoved his plate onto the coffee table.

He got up and went to the kitchen for a capri-sun. If it hadn't been Kyle that bought them, he'd be pissed about that too. His Dad seemed to treat him like he was still in elementary school no matter how old he got.

Wes slammed the fridge door hard enough he heard the dressing and condiment bottles rattle inside. He went back to the living room, the TV illuminating the space in it's flickering light.

He flopped backwards onto the couch, pushing his back into the corner of the sectional, wishing it'd swallow him up. Kyle was watching some alien history documentary. How ghosts could be pure fiction but aliens were "science-fact" was beyond Wes. He rolled his eyes and got out his phone, pulling up his knees.

Instagram was a short reprieve, or it should have been. He scrolled past post after post of his old friends back in California, smiling wide in front of the beach, or the boys at the park playing basketball. Over there they hadn't even started school yet, and wouldn't until the end of the month. To say he envied them was a gross understatement.

"Are you gonna eat those?" Wes glanced up over his knees to see his brother pointing at his abandoned pizza rolls.

"Go for it," he said. Kyle scooped up his plate and went to town. Wes really should be doing his chapter reading for History, but the thought made him want to set something on fire. A part of him felt like he should be grateful for a fresh start after the divorce, but another part of him wanted nothing more than to dig his heels in. Just because his Mom was a liar and his Dad was an asshole didn't mean they had to move across the country, why didn't they get that? Maybe they did, and just didn't care.

He scrolled on his phone long enough for Kyle to watch another episode. By the end Wes had been sitting and refreshing his feed over and over again. He watched the buffer wheel spin, screen go white and the same post as last time take its most recent position at the top. He pulled down again, and watched the wheel spin for the millionth time.

"Dude, this is just depressing to watch."

He glanced over at Kyle, narrowing his eyes. "Got nothing better to do." It was a lie and they both knew it. Kyle flicked the TV off and stood up from the couch.

"C'mon." Kyle came to stand in front of him expectantly.

"What?"

"Let's go have roof time."

Wes made a face. "You're so weird, don't call it that. Cringy as fuck, man."

Kyle grabbed a pillow and swung it lazily towards Wes' head. "C'moooon lil bro! It's roof time!" He said it in a big brother voice that always pissed Wes off.

"No. Fuck off." Wes held up an arm to shield his head.

"C'mon!" Kyle insisted. "Don't you wanna spend time with your brother?" he pouted. He swung the pillow at him again.

"I'm gonna kick you in the balls."

"Weeeeesslleeeyyyy! C'mooooon."

"Oh my god, you're so fucking annoying." Wes kicked half-heartedly towards his brother. He held up both arms to try and fend off the onslaught of his brother's pillow attack.

"I'll stop if you agree to go sit outside with me, Wes! Surrender, you're out matched, kid!" Kyle picked up another pillow in his left hand, and continued batting at him. Wes tried to bury the beginnings of a smile behind a sour expression.

"You just—Ow, stop— You just wanna go get high, don't you?"

"Oh, absolutely. But you think I'm going to sit out there alone like some kind of loser?"

Wes anticipated his brother's next swing, and snatched the pillow from him. Now it was his turn. True to his word, he kicked a foot out directly into his brother's crotch. Kyle grunted and stumbled back a step, hands going down to grab his groin. Wes capitalized on his opportunity and lunged forward, springing off the couch to tackle his brother to the ground.

They hit the carpet with a loud thud, and became a tangle of limbs.

"Oh it's on, kiddo!" Wes couldn't hold back a laugh as he wrestled his brother. He attempted to push the pillow onto Kyle's face at the same time as his brother was trying to twist his arm around in a joint lock.

"Shut up, you're only a year older than me," Wes said, wriggling out of his brother's grip, and yanking his hat down over his eyes.

"A destined rematch to determine the stronger brother! A tale as old as time!" Kyle fought blindly to get a hold back on Wes. Wes whacked him on the side of the head with the pillow.

"You're a moron," he said without any real venom. Kyle flung his hat away.

"Don't make me purple nurple you like last time."

Wes hit him again with the pillow as Kyle tried to steal it from him. "Try it, bitch, I'll kick your ass."

"I did wrestling for two years!"

"Yeah, in middle school, now you're just lame and out of shape."

Kyle gasped. "Bro, take it back." He twisted the pillow hard to the right and broke Wes' hold on it.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. You're not out of shape, just the lame part." Wes tried to get out of Kyle's reach to escape retribution, but he wasn't fast enough. Kyle got a hold of his shirt, and yanked him into a headlock. It had no real pressure behind it.

"Hah ha! What have we here? Could it possibly be that I win again?"

Wes rolled his eyes and pushed up on his brother's arm to break the loop. "Shut up, stupid-ass," he muttered. They broke apart, and Kyle stood up, offering him a hand. Wes accepted it with a puff. Kyle yanked him to his feet and punched him in the center of his chest.

"Ow."

"Kyle : 1 Wes : 0!"

Wes stopped. "Hey, wait, our score was up in the hundreds! What gives? I was winning you asshole." He'd challenged Kyle to a game of Horse last month and it had been a slaughter to say the least. Kyle was walking towards the stairs.

"Nu-uh, new-state-clean-slate, bro, we're starting over!"

"That's stupid, and I didn't agree to that. You're just a sore loser." Wes trudged up the stairs after his brother.

"Guess you'll just have to wait till our next rematch." Kyle shrugged, pushing into his room with a shoulder. Their rooms shared a wall, Kyle's being the furthest down the hall. They both had north facing windows that had access to the brow of the roof which overlooked the pool in the backyard. Moving from a place with obscene living expenses to the armpit of Illinois had its perks he guessed.

"Pick the challenge then. How about MarioKart?" he offered.

"After last time? No way dude." Kyle went to his bedside table to retrieve a small baggie of weed and his pipe and lighter. Not that their Dad ever checked, but a pipe was easier to hide, and less hassle than a bong. Or so Kyle said. Wes didn't really mess around with the stuff if he could help it. The times he tried made him so paranoid it felt like the end was nigh.

"Ugh, fine, princess. What about Smash?" Wes slid the window open and popped out the screen.

"Best outta five?"

"Sure, tomorrow after school? You can't play worth shit while high."

"Bruh, I'm great at playing while high, makes all the distractions just—" he wiggled his fingers— "fall away."

Wes snorted. "Sure, keep telling yourself that. The AI Pikachu wiped the floor with you." Wes climbed out onto the roof, scooting to the side so Kyle had room to clamber out. Kyle handed him his pipe to hold and followed after.

"No, that's not what happened, okay?" Kyle pointed an accusing finger. "I let that adorable little rat fuck win, because what kind of monster would I be if I destroyed Pikachu?"

Wes rolled his eyes. Kyle settled next to him, hanging his legs over the side and reached for his stuff back. Wes looked up at the sky, leaning his weight back on his hands. It was another clear night, the stars bright and unblemished. He heard the flick of his brother's lighter, but paid it no mind. The lack of light pollution was nice, if there was one positive from this whole situation, it was that.

The wind stirred, a chill laced in that made Wes wish he'd brought his jacket. He was looking forward to the snow. He'd only seen snow once when was ten and his parents took all of them on a skiing trip to Lake Tahoe. He remembered biting it on the bunny hill, and how Kyle laughed so much while picking him up that he'd dropped him more than once. The memory felt brittle, like if he touched on it too much it might break into a million pieces. It always felt like that, remembering what it was like to be happy, to be a family. His parents had broken enough, he wanted this thing, this one little thing to stay whole.

Was it childish to want that?

He glanced at Kyle, who exhaled a plume of smoke, the slope of his shoulders loose and relaxed. For all his flaws and his seriously maddening, downright annoying personality, Wes was glad to have Kyle. After the divorce they'd gotten closer, and he wasn't really sure where he'd be right now without his brother.

Not that he'd ever admit something so fucking embarrassing out loud. Jesus, what was he? He sounded like a Hallmark card.

He rubbed an eye, and laid back, the shingles of the roof cold against his back. The two were in a comfortable silence, Kyle too preoccupied with making short work of the bowl he'd packed to make conversation yet. That was alright with Wes. He was tired and still a little freaked out after today. He knew better than to bring up his run in with the ghost at school to Kyle.

This place was weird, and he had so many questions he felt like he was going insane. First thing tomorrow he was going to ask someone what the hell was going on in this town. He could try and ask the Danny Fenton kid, since his parents were apparently the ghost experts. He rolled the idea around for a few seconds in his head. Maybe it'd be best to ask more than one person. Leave Danny as a last resort.

He was staring at the first stars of Orion as they peaked over the dark horizon. That's when he saw it. His brows furrowed and he sat up.

"Dude, do you see that?" He smacked the back of his hand against Kyle's arm.

"What?" Kyle looked up.

"That!" He pointed. In the sky and getting closer was a glowing streak.

It wasn't a star, or a comet, that was for damn sure. It was flying in a wide circling pattern. It was fast, whatever it was.

Kyle gasped next to him. "Holy shit, a UFO." Kyle fumbled around to try and get his phone, in his haste he sent his lighter tumbling down the roof and off the edge. Wes trained his eyes on the shape as it got closer, squinting. Kyle had gotten his phone and had started recording, feverishly commentating about the time, place, and the appearance of an "alien craft".

Wes leaned forward, straining his eyes. As the shape wound closer it looked… almost humanoid? It seemed to move in a thoughtful systematic way. Like it was covering specific ground.

"I'm so putting this on my Snapchat story," Kyle said. He turned his phone towards Wes. "Say hi! In case it goes viral."

"Dude, stop." Wes pushed his brother's phone away from his face and back towards the… well. UFO.

As suddenly as it had appeared, it sharply changed direction and flew away, before blipping out of existence entirely. It hadn't gotten close enough to identify, but Kyle seemed to only care about his video and nothing else. Wes sat there thoroughly confused, staring at the point in the sky the shape had vanished into thin air.

"Clearly this is evidence of alien superior technology. The fact it sped up and disappeared so fast means they've cracked flight speeds faster than light, dude!" Kyle buzzed. He was tapping on his phone, already sending the video to everyone he knew.

Aliens, really? Could this day get any weirder?

"Look, look, Hannah, snapped me back." Kyle leaned over so they could both see his screen. He opened the Snap, and Wes saw a girl with blonde hair and dark eye shadow. He vaguely recognized her from school, part of Kyle's new stoner group of friends. The video showed just the top of her face as she looked down at her phone. Her eyes were crinkled at the corners.

"Kyle, what the fuck," she laughed. "That's not an alien, doofus. It's clearly a ghost. Probably Phantom. He flies around almost every night." She leaned back and sprayed canned whipped cream directly into her mouth. " 'Aliens'! Oh my god I'm totally telling Jennie." She snorted as she laughed and the snap ended.

Phantom? That was Phantom? The image of the ghost boy from earlier lingered in his mind. Kyle was already recording a video to send back.

"Hannah, obviously you have very little experience with UFO's. I know an alien when I see one and that was an A L I E N. Okay? Don't buy into this ghost conspiracy, it's what people want you to think, but it's probably all aliens! Or beings from like the 4th dimension, I don't know."

His brother's voice sounded too loud. His eyes traced the place where the shape… the ghost had been. He rubbed at his temples with his fingers. Kyle continued arguing with his new local friends, protesting the idea of ghosts. Wes sighed, a headache building behind his eyes.

He nudged his brother with an elbow. "I'm gonna get to bed." Kyle gave him a distracted goodbye and Wes headed back inside, mind swirling with the image of white hair and glowing green eyes.

***

Joy.

His sleep that night had been fitful and interrupted. He didn't have any nightmares, or at least none he could remember, thank God. But there were a few times he could have sworn there was someone standing in his doorway, watching. He shook it from his thoughts by busying himself with his camera.

The final bell for first period rang and with it commenced the beginning of the school day.

Students with no cameras of their own were having some checked out to them for photography class. The teacher told them to check over everything and make sure all previous files were deleted from the memory card, and there were no cracked lenses. He ignored the majority of what was being said.

When he was young he would use his Mom's camera. Just to mess around really, it wasn't like he had the lofty goals of being a professional photographer. But his Mom didn't see it like that. She bought him lenses and his own high-end camera for his 16th birthday. That was before everything fell apart. Before he found out about Emily.

Once the class started going he hoped he'd enjoy it and actually learn something. He was ready to start taking pictures already. Unfortunately, the day's class was all about the different buttons and functions on the cameras, explaining exposure, aperture and manually managing the iso. Uck. Yawn.

Towards the end of class Ms. Fletcher let them have "free time" to explore the options on their cameras on their own. Learn by doing and all that.

"This is way too much all at once," complained the girl next to him. Mia, was her name, if he remembered correctly. She had brown hair, and light eyes, her tan skin suggesting a mixed heritage. She was turning her camera around in her hands like a kid trying to find the on switch on a new toy. He smiled, turning toward her.

"First time using a fancy camera?"

She let out an agitated sigh. "Yeah. I took this class because I thought it'd be easy and I could just, I don't know, take cute pictures of my dog or something." She put the camera down on the table, gently, like she was afraid of breaking it despite her frustration.

"Yeah, it can be complicated at first." He lifted his own to inspect it.

"You brought your own, right? That's not a shitty school one."

"Yeah, it's mine. Birthday gift."

Mia whistled. "Pricy, your parents must be loaded."

Wes shrugged a shoulder, "I wouldn't say that exactly."

"Don't be modest, it's okay!" She patted him on the shoulder. "Plus I'm sure however rich your family is, it's nowhere near the Mansons."

"The Mansons?"

"Uh...yeah." She looked confused for a second before understanding flickered in her eyes. "Oh, that's right you're new. Sam Manson, the spooky goth chick that hangs around Fenton and Foley. She's in our homeroom class." She held her pointer fingers up by her ears to mime bat ears.

"Oh, yeah, her."

"She says she doesn't like people knowing even though it's super obvious. Her parents are always in the news for making donations and stuff."

They fell into an awkward silence, and Mia shuffled her feet.

"Well, uh. Tell you what. If you help me with this camera crap, I'll…" She stopped to think. "I'll give you the inside scoop about the school. Help you get caught up and fit in, ya'know?" She held her hand towards him. "Sound good?"

Wes would have helped her out even if she hadn't offered to keep him in the social loop. It could be useful, especially for a few things in particular.

"Deal." He shook her hand, a little surprised by her grip strength.

"I'm not as popular as Paulina and Star but I still have an ear to the ground. So if you want to know who's single or who can write your english essay on the cheap: I'm your girl." She pulled her hand back to jab a thumb at her chest for emphasis.

Wes chuckled. "Thanks. I actually do have some questions."

"Shoot."

"This Phantom ghost, what do you know about him?"

She looked surprised, before she smiled. There was something in her expression that Wes couldn't place.

"Phantom? Really?" She shrugged. "Alright, I see you." She scooted her chair closer to his. "Phantom showed up freshman year, no one knows why, but since he popped up he's been saving Amity from all sorts of ghosts." She said it like it was the most normal, perfectly sane thing. "Not only is he hella cute but he's also basically a hero."

Wes frowned in confusion. That wasn't at all what Mr. and Mrs. Fenton had said. "Why would a ghost help people? What's he get out of it? Also, isn't he… you know. Dead? Isn't it kinda creepy to have a crush on him?"

"How should I know? And dead or alive, he's still a total heart throb around here, get used to it." She sighed, looking fed up with his lack of understanding. "Listen, all I do know is that if an evil ghost is breathing down your neck your only real hope in this place is Phantom. Really, ask anyone." Wes' thoughts drifted back to his brush with death yesterday..

"You shouldn't be telling people the fantasy version of things, Mia," came a cold voice. Wes jumped, turning to look at the girl looming over them. Her arms were crossed over her chest, curly hair back lit by the fluorescent bulbs in the ceiling. Fantasy version? What was Valerie talking about?

Mia's face went from warm and open to closed and stand-offish. She crossed her legs and sat back in her chair.

"Oh come on Valerie, we all know you're not a fan of him, but you could at least try and be reasonable."

"Reasonable? Don't listen to her new kid," Valerie jabbed a finger towards him, "if there's one thing Phantom is good at, it's manipulating the public perception. Don't be fooled like the rest of this school, Phantom will ruin your life without an ounce of remorse."

Wes blinked, caught off guard by her ferocity. In chemistry she seemed like a perfectly normal, kind girl. He made a mental note not to get on her bad side.

Mia made a dismissive sound in the back of her throat. "He wasn't asking you Valerie, he was asking me. Butt out."

Mia and Valerie glared hard at each other, neither backing down. It went on for what felt like ever. Wes was afraid he was about to end up right in the middle of a cat fight. But eventually, Valerie let out a sound of disgust then turned and stalked off back to her table. Mia watched her go, gaze steady. Once Valerie sat down, Mia relaxed and let out a breath.

"God, she really needs to get that stick out of her ass."

"What the hell was that about?"

"Apparently freshman year her Dad lost his job and she's convinced it was Phantom's fault." Mia uncrossed her legs, sitting more casually again.

"Was it?"

Mia looked annoyed. "I don't know, I wasn't there." She ran her fingers through her hair, taking a small swatch and braiding it absentmindedly. "Listen, people have different opinions... but Phantom saved my life." It was small and serious the way she said it, like it was a confession. "And not just once but on several occasions. It's fine to ask questions, I don't blame you. But just wait and watch, then decide for yourself." Before Wes could say or ask anymore, the bell rang. Mia started collecting her stuff.

"See you tomorrow, Wes," she said brightly, as if the seriousness from before was just a figment of his imagination.

Sixth period rolled around and Wes was ready for the day to be over with already.

In his previous classes he'd asked other students here and there about the ghosts, and even if he didn't directly ask about Phantom, the conversation eventually led there anyway.

"Uh, yeah. Tomorrow." He watched her go, getting up and gathering his own belongings.

***

He did regret asking Star during lunch, which seemed to have summoned Paulina from the aether. She went on almost the entire lunch period about how her and the ghost boy were "meant to be" and how cute he was, with his snow white hair and tanned skin. Wes was debating faking a family emergency to get away from her. Talk about obsessed.

He shook his head at the memory and closed his locker.

He started walking down the hall, daydreaming about whatever gourmet frozen dinner him and Kyle would have later for dinner. He was about to turn the corner down the hall towards the chem room when he heard a raised voice.

Next up: Chemistry. At the thought he deflated further. He'd totally forgotten about the quiz today. Damnnit, Fenton.

He started walking down the hall, daydreaming about whatever gourmet frozen dinner him and Kyle would have later for dinner. He was about to turn the corner down the hall towards the chem room when he heard a raised voice. 

“Hey Fentina, watch where you’re fucking going.” He turned towards the sound to look. The halls were clearing, there being only a minute or so till class, but that didn’t stop the few scattered people from stopping to idly watch Dash Baxter slam Danny Fenton against a locker. Wes couldn’t help but wince. From the sound alone he’d guess that was going to leave a bruise. 

“You might be taller now but that doesn’t mean I won’t still flatten you, got that?” Dash announced. He was clearly making a show of it. Wes wondered why. Fenton was definitely the lowest on the social ladder, why would someone like Dash need to establish his power over someone who had none? Wes shifted his weight, remembering that trying to apply logic to bullies was a losing battle. 

Danny though… He seemed completely... unfazed. He looked at Dash like an overworked retail employee looked at a raving customer. The dark bags under his eyes and the uncaring air he had coupled with his black hoodie and torn jeans made him look like an emo band's wet dream. 

“Got it, now can we all get to class, please? I’m trying not to be tardy as much this year,” Danny said. Dash leaned further into Danny’s space. 

“Dream on, Fenton,” Dash leered. He leaned back and let Danny go. He made to leave, or at least Wes thought he was. Danny seemed to think so too. Which meant he was caught off guard when Dash turned and punched him in the stomach. Even from a few paces away, Wes heard the air rush from Danny’s lungs. He staggered a bit, arm wrapping around his midsection. 

Dash laughed and walked off, flexing an arm to his football team buddies who joined in as they made their way down the hall like a pack of hyenas. 

As if that was the cue, everyone that had stopped to watch went back to their own business, as if nothing happened. Wes didn’t know what to think at that moment. He knew everyone called Danny a loser, and he hadn’t exactly gotten along with the guy himself but… That felt like a step too far. He couldn’t help but pity the poor dude a bit.

 It had been a long time since Wes was the one pushed around the school yard. He remembered what it felt like though, and he had never been in a rush to expose himself to the kind of treatment again. In fact he’d done just about anything to keep himself from the bottom. He’d done his fair share of looking down on losers and saying cruel things to be accepted into the throng of popular kids in California. He wasn’t proud of it, as he got older he realized that. It made his stomach clench with guilt and shame. 

He’d have never done what Dash just did though. 

Wes watched Danny lean a shoulder against the wall of lockers and catch his breath. He glanced around, and when he was satisfied that no one was still watching, he straightened, took a breath and rolled a shoulder, nonchalant. 

Wes felt his brain stutter and stop. 

Uh. What? 

Just a second ago Danny was writhing in pain the way someone just punched in the gut would, and the next he was acting like he was fine. Like he’d just got done with a leisurely jog.  

At this point Wes was starting to wonder if he was being gaslit by this whole school, what the fuck? 

He watched Danny put a book into his locker, and then lock it up. He started down the hallway, no evidence he was in any pain or struggling for breath what-so-ever. Wes turned and walked towards the classroom. He didn’t want Danny to know he’d been watching from around the corner. 

Wes sat down, spreading out his stuff, trying to make it look like he'd been there for ages. A few seconds later the tardy bell rang. Another few seconds after that, Danny walked in. 

“Mr. Fenton, you’re late—”

“Uh-huh.” He didn’t make eye contact with the teacher, just made a beeline for their desk and slumped into his seat. Mrs. Merriweather looked ticked. 

“Pick up your tardy slip at the end of class young man.” 

“Yep.” 

Even Mrs. Merriweather seemed taken aback by Danny’s odd energy, but she said nothing else. Instead she jumped into the lesson plan for the day. 

Wes wasn’t paying attention. He was looking at his lab partner, still trying to figure out what he’d just seen. Maybe Danny had just been acting like it was worse than it was to… what, get sympathy? Have Dash back off quicker? Both seemed likely, logical. It must have been, what else could it be? 

Danny seemed to feel his eyes on him. He turned to Wes, his blue eyes sharp and angry. 

“What?” he snapped. 

“Nothing. Sorry.” Wes disengaged, looking down at his blank notebook page. He heard Danny sigh, but he didn’t know what sort of emotion drove it. 

Class dragged on, and they didn’t say another word to each other the entire period. But that wasn’t too surprising, considering Danny left in the middle of class. 

They’d just got done taking their lab safety quiz, and were handing them back when out of the corner of his eye Wes saw Danny shiver. He also saw a flash of… what looked like smoke? Vape? Was Danny seriously vaping in class? 

“Fuck,” Danny muttered under his breath and his hand shot straight up into the air. “Mrs. Merriweather, can I use the bathroom before we start the lab?” Danny’s typically tired and slouched posture had gone ramrod straight, and the air around him felt desperate and panicked. Mrs. Merriwether studied him seriously for a second, before she relented. 

“Alright, don’t take too long.” 

Danny scrambled from his seat and out the door. It left a weird silence in the classroom.

O….kay? That was weird, super weird. He looked around the class. A student adjacent to him caught his confused look and shrugged. 

“He just does that, always has. Some people think he has some sort of chronic illness or something.” 

“Quiet please, everyone. I’m passing out the lab instructions and then we’ll be getting started.” 

Wes couldn’t help but look towards the door where Danny had disappeared seconds earlier. He felt pretty safe in saying not only was the town weird, but everyone in it.  But maybe Danny more so than the others. 

[kirishwima]

bakugou saying I belong with you , make it fL u fF plsss

bruh....this is so old that i know u dont even use this blog anymore lmao aaaaaa but im gonna answer anyway cuz i wanted to write some kiribaku anyway lmao

******

Sometimes the world feels...bleak.

It’s just how it is, he figured. Everyone surely goes through it? The moments where everything feels gray, colours desaturate until they bleed away, how time feels slower, water trickling like blood from a wound-he’s used to the feeling, greeting it like an old friend, the stillness, the quietness-how his brain numbs, his heart beating mechanically and yet not at all.

Except...it shouldn’t be normal to feel this so often, is it?

Kirishima knows he does a good job hiding it.

He looks away and spots Kaminari approaching his desk with a wave and he grins, razor sharp and eyes half-lidded, crows feet already begining to take place beside the corners of his eyes, even at this age-a tell tale sign of his cheerful disposition. Yet how much of it is him? How much of this is Kirishma?

He hears his own voice greet friends with excitement, he feels his body walk to the cafeteria, his hands move animatedly as he talks and his friends listen-he should be happy right? They like him, they enjoy his company...right?

Nothing feels real sometimes. It’s as if there’s a glass wall between himself and who he wants to be, and he’s standing there, looking at it with apathy-of course he can break it; he’s cracked it already, with the confidence he began to build ever since joining UA, yet is it enough? Can he breathe through the cracks? Would taking a hammer to the wall help?

Would it change him?

“Oy.”

A shove to his shoulder and he’s snapped out of his thoughts; his pair of chopsticks’s in one hand, the other a fist his cheek rests on. He looks to the side and notices him-Bakugo, his own chopsticks set down as he shoved at Kirishima with furrowed brows.

Kirishima shook his head. Of all the people-Bakugo is the last one he’d like to worry. Especially not now that they’re dating-the relationship is far too new for his anxieties to seep into it.

“You’ve been spacing out a lot man. I think it’s something you do often unconsciously but like-is everything okay?” Sero spoke up from across Kirishima.

Worried gazes all rested upon him and he shivered at the attention, bile rising in his throat.

“Of course! I’m just an airhead, you know me” he grinned, bringing an awkward hand to his neck.

Bakugo clicked his tongue. “You’re calculative as fuck. If anyone’s an airhead it’s Pikachu over there.”

“Hey!” Kaminari yelped, throwing an offending pickle from his plate onto Bakugo-and chaos ensued.

Even so, Kirishima laughed-genially, cheerfully, to the point of tears.

These were his friends. The people he loved.And he’d be damned if he worried them ever again.

****

The end of the day found him with his hair still dripping, a towel wrapped around his shoulders, his cheek on Bakugo’s pillow as he waited for his boyfriend to get back to his room after a shower.

In this quiet lull with the sun setting, the dinner he ate making him full and drowsy, he let his mind drift-to what he was, what he is, what he could be.

Was he enough? As he is, as he really is-could he ever be enough?

...Was he enough for Bakugo? 

With a rough demeanor yet actions gentler than one could think-how he could stroke his knuckles over Kirishima’s ribs like a prayer, yet use that same fist to punch a man into oblivion-the contrast that made Kirishima’s heart swell with love, with pride;

Was he only bound to drag Bakugo down?

His insecurities always found a way to tie him down like vines, like quicksand licking at his feet, begging him to stop hanging on, to let himself drown-how was he to combat that? Were his lies enough to push them away? Fake it ‘till you make it, doesn’t everyone say that?

He heard the door click open and then shut but didn’t move-he didn’t have the energy to. Around Bakugo at least-at least here he could let a glimpse of himself show.

Bakugo walked, sat on the bed as he looked to Kirishima’s laying form with a frown.

“Feel refreshed?” Kirishima asked with a tired smile.

Bakugo nodded.

“Mmm, then let’s watch something on youtube for a bit; I don’t feel like studying yet.”

“You never feel like studying” Bakugo noted with a smirk. Kirishima merely rolled his eyes, nudging at Bakugo with his foot.

There was a soft moment of silence as Bakugo shifted to lay beside Kirishima, yet he made no move to turn and grab his laptop to put something on; he merely looked to Kirishima, bringing a hand forth to trail his cheek, his jaw, cusping his face in his palm.

“You’re not an airhead. You don’t just ‘space out’ or whatever so...do you wanna tell me what’s actually goin’ on?”

Kirishima bit his lip. No. No this-this was too soon.

Bakugo frowned, his fingertips applying gentle pressure on the juncture between Kirishima’s jaw and neck; his pulse rose.

“What’s going on in that shitty brain of yours, hm? Tell me.”

Kirishima sighed. He knew silence would only make it worse-and deep down, he trusted Bakugo. Even if he was scared, he trusted him, Bakugo’s saved him time and time again-

“That means you’re pretty damn strong”, he remembers those words, an ointment for his wounds each time his fears got the better of him.

“Do you think-do we belong together?”

“Ha?!”

“No, don’t-just hear me out” Kirishima begged, shifting to follow Katsuki’s hand as it moved away-he gripped it, interlaced it with his as he brought Bakugo’s knuckles close to his lips.

“I’m just-you know by now don’t you? It’s not like I can hide it from you. In here-” he moved their interlaced hands to knock at his temples with a sad grin, “in here it’s fucked up Katsuki. I don’t space out, yeah-I get drowned in these thoughts and-when I’m fighting I learnt to push them down so they don’t distract me, but any other time they just eat me up and-are you okay with me? Like this?”

Bakugo didn’t reply.

He moved his hand away, only to lean up and over Kirishima, his hands on each side of Kirishima’s head, trapping him in place.

He leaned down, kissed him once, twice, soft and quick before leaning back up.

“I belong with you.”

He put a finger on Kirishima’s lips before he could protest.

“No, you talked already, you don’t get to talk more-right now you just shut up and listen to what I gotta say because I’ll never repeat it, yeah?”

Kirishima nodded.

Bakugo took in a deep breath. He sat up, urging Kirishima to follow suit, the two boys sitting cross-legged on the bed across each other.

“I’ve never-fuck, I don’t know, I never knew how to deal with...feelings and stuff” Bakugo started, rolling his eyes at his own eloquency. “I thought I was better than everyone and I guess, I found out I’m not, the hard way. But I still acted like it, and I know I still do-maybe less so, but I know it’s something I gotta fix.”

He looked up, meeting Kirishima’s confused gaze with his own steady bright eyes.

“But you saw through all that, didn’t you? You sure as hell didn’t fall for me ‘cuz I’m an asshole” he laughed, earning a small huff of laughter from Kirishima.

He sighed, running a hand thorugh his hair. “What I’m trying to say is-we’re messes, but we’re messes together. And yeah, you got a fuckton of stuff you gotta fix up here” he pointed to his own temple, “but I do too. And uh-I guess we can work on this stuff together. What do you say?”

Kirishima didn’t have an answer.

Instead he leaped into Bakugo’s embrace, kissing his face, his nose, his lips.

They were messes, yeah.

But they weren’t facing it alone.Not anymore.

******

[bakusoftie]

I was just listening to creepypasta and got an idea. Could you do hcs for Bakugo and Kirishima’s reactions to seeing a scary fucking demon/ghost or whatever while they’re hanging out with their crush in some creepy place? Or really, just any situation where they’re hanging with their crush and some scary paranormal shit starts happening. I’m in a big mood for some horror. This would make my LIFE thank you 🙌🏻

I’m such a huge horror fan so this made me uwu so hard (also i hope you don’t mind but I made separate scenarios for them but if you wanted poly I could do that 🥺👉👈)

Warnings: Gory Descriptions!!! + Ouija Boards + Kaminari being a dumbass

Kiricutie + Bakubabe experiencing some scary shit with their s/o

🦈 kiricutie 🦈

It was all Denki’s fault

That living enbodiment of a phone charger was the one who dared the entirety of the bakusquad to go to this “haunted” house

Bakugou, of course, said he had better things to do but,,,

Kirishima (being the manliest man he is) just had to be there to protect his s/o from all the bad spirits and creatures of the night

But the thing is- Kirishima is fucking terrified.

You, on the other hand, are so excited maybe a bit nervous and he wants to be one to protect you and be your man

Kaminari, Mina and Sero get too far ahead of themselves and rush off into different parts of the attraction so it's just you and the sharp-toothed cutie,,,all alone,,,in a dark, supposedly haunted house. Oof.

At first,It isn’t as bad as Kirishima thought. Plus, he gets to spend time with you and whenever you’d hear a scream you would unconsciously brush your hand against his and suddenly he doesn’t even realize that he was anxious in the first place. That is until you get to this bloody door that explicitly says ‘Do Not Enter’.

“Oh well, I guess we’ll just have to move on then, s/o”

Being the dumbass you are,,,You grabbed Kirishima’s hand and busted through the door (all that you could think of was ‘I need to see some ghost cheeks 👻’)

The room was dark and had a overwhelming stench to it. So, you ran your hand over the wall to find a light switch

all the while, kiri is begging that you two meet up with everyone else but 👏them👏ghost👏 cheeks👏

when you did find the strangely wet lightswitch, you turned it on to discover the fresh blood dripping down your hands and wondering why kirishima was so silent, you turned around.

He was in some state of shock, his once bright and tanned skin is now a sickly pale. He moves in front of you when you tried to follow his eyesight, desperately trying to protect you from the horrendous sight but you managed to take a look from over his shoulder

The entire room had dark crimson sludge splattered on the walls and the ground they currently stood on.

But that wasn’t even the worst of it.

It was the various amounts of flesh and guts scattered over a steel, rusted autopsy table where a body laid still as a rock. The body was mutilated and had several markings on it

The two of you weren't sure if it was real or just very detailed decorations but you both shared a look that told each other that they needed to leave and get help.

You moved quickly through the house to find your friends, still joining hands with Kirishima.

When you found Kaminari, Mina and Sero roasting a Pennywise cosplayer, you and Eijirou let out a breath of relief and pleaded them to come with you so you could show them the fucking mess y'all witnessed but when you got to the cursed hallway that you swore had a row of doors along it-

The door was fucking gone?!?

Everyone except you and Eijirou, who were both shocked and sick to their stomachs, was laughing and playing it off as a joke but

Whatever the fuck you both experienced together sure as hell bonded you for life.

💥bakubaby💥

Bakugou doesn't scare easy. This bitch used to watch horror movies when he was 3 years old and had hardcore death metal as his lullaby.

He a tough boi

But when it comes to you, he's so fucking soft and full of warmth 🥰

He fucking loves you even tho you can be kinda stupid sometimes all the time

Like right now, You and Bakubae were at a party that Hagakure was throwing and normally Bakugou would be like ‘fuck no I rather stick a cactus up my ass than hang out with a bunch of extras’ but when you looked so sad that he didn’t want to come with you and said ‘oh,,,that’s fine I guess,,,I’ll just ask Todoroki to come with me’

YOU ALREADY KNOW THIS BITCH DID NOT HESITATE TO LET YOU KNOW YOUR ASS IS HIS

and vice versa (“that bakubooty is MINE NOW,THOTS” - S/O declares from the roof of U.A)

The party was lame and the only thing interesting so far was seeing Iida get drunk and dance to Old Time Road.

Until you ask Momo to whip out an Ouija board from her titties.

Now, Bakugou doesn't really believe in ghosts or shit like that but for some reason, he just has this weird feeling about all of this

But he doesn't want to be seen as a weakling because of a stupid board with the alphabet on it.

You call over Deku and Icy-hot to join you in conjuring some motherfucking ghOSTs

You deadass had to pick all the people he absolutely hates, didn’t you?

Anyway, Bakugou couldn’t let these weak extras show him up so he grabs the planchette and asks you how the fuck this shitty toy works.

when you put your hand on his, he uwus so hard omg

but then dEKU and pRinCe zUkO had to ruin everything by putting their hands on the piece of wood too.

bruh shouto better watch tf out because if he sees y’alls pinkies brush against each other one more fucking time he’s going to go FERAL

The shitty wood chip started to pull their hands toward the ‘HELLO’ side of the board and bakugou went *surprised pikachu face*

HE WASNT SCARED HES JUST TAKEN ABACK FUCKING STUPID DEKU I BET HIS WEAK ASS MOVED IT

“Now we’re supposed to ask it questions.”

”U-um are you here to hurt us?”

”SHUT IT ICYHOT AND STUPID DEKU!,,,I got shit to ask this little dead bitch!!”

Bakudumbass, you should never insult a spirit wtf.

After his rude remark, the candles that you had lit around the four of you suddenly went out. I mean it wasn’t a big deal because shouto could easily light them back up but it definitely shook the lot of you to your core.

When the candles were relit, you couldn’t but help to notice that Izuku was missing from the circle

Oh shit

Bakugou thinks that this is all some stupid fucking scheme to get back at him and he swears when he finds Deku, he will break his bones worse than one for all ever could.

But he shuts that thought down the moment that he senses the burning feeling of eyes staring right into his soul. He looks behind him at the dark shadowy figure that seems to be using the freckled, green-haired hero as it's vessel.

Izuku’s once emerald-green eyes are now a shade of glowing crimson and his once warm, friendly smile now a gruesomely wide smirk as his body now dangles from the air.

Ŷ̵̝̌̂o̴̳͖̼̐͜͝u̷̧̠͙̫̭͖͍͋̍͠ ̵͉̮̲̌̓ň̶͔͊̎͘͝͝ĕ̸̬̜͔̑e̶̤̞̹̜̮̗͂̈́͂͜d̷̡̨̙͎̩̭̭̱̜̟̎̒ ̴̧̬̯̠̼͈̹̽̋͒t̵͓̖͙͍̯̜̣̲̅̀o̸̪͈͓̤͍̖̘͔͎͓͋̂̑ ̴̢̢͙̙͎̠̘̳̳̄̈̉̋ͅl̶̗̭̮͑̃̃͌é̷̜͓̫͚́̐͗̅̃̑á̶̜̲̪̟͙͕͍̹̀̓͋͆͐̉̔ř̴͓͈̥̜̜͆̌̑̓̊͝͠ṋ̷̜͍̲̈͘ ̸̞̘̱̥̞̬̣̫̾h̵͎̻͔̼̻̜̓́͋͘͘o̵̳̭̬͙̠̹̪͇̮͊̈̏̊̕͜w̷̭̟͙̱͔͕̃͋̈́̇̕̚͘͘ ̵̦͎̳͋̀͝͝t̵̢̨̗͖͖͇̺͔͖̾̄͌͗̓̾̀ö̴̲́̀ ̸͇͔̱̟̹̫͓̙̀̏̐̌̆͛̋͑͊ṯ̴̡̭͕̮̯̭̘̌̇̽̉͂̾̓̚͜r̷̪͙͎̱̩͚̻͛̾̓̉̉̓̐̿̀͘ȩ̴̧̣͈͚̗͓̯͚͂̀̈̽̚a̷̛̛̠͙̬͖̾͂t̶̡́̕ ̴̨̡̠̰̮͕͍̘̩͎͌ò̸͖̈̏͜t̶͎̼̑͒̿̔̓̈̕͝͠h̷̨͎̲͔̭̖̗̼̘̅̂͂͗͐̍è̷̝̥̠̬̮͈̮̟̔r̸͍͔̳͕̼͛s̷̨̫̼̙̠͉͓̰̽̊̊̔̀͊̃ ̷̛̰̞̳̖̻͕͕̘̝̹̀̎̕k̷͍̳̥̊̋̂̎͒͑̉̽̈́͌ͅḯ̴̩̹̥̤͉̭̘ņ̸̟͎͕̜̞̥̩̬̝͑̋̊̈́̑̏̀̆͐͘ď̸̜̬͇̙̫͉̬̔̏̀̓͊͋l̸̺̲̤̦̼̓̐̀͒̆ẏ̸̖̟͕̣͔̦̳͜,̶̥͇̝͙͔͎̬͌͐̌” ̵̡̻̺̟̻͓͊B̶͖͇̣̲̙͛̊̆̃͑̈́̾̃̕a̶̧͂̍̐̌ķ̶̨̬͇͙̦͓̝̰̩͗͐̿̈͊̏̀̏̕u̴̢̨͕͍͆̆́̏̓͒̉̂̇͝ģ̷̗̱̟̼͉̱̣̐̌̉̒̓́͆͑͒͠ô̵̡͚̻̬̓͒̀͋̔u̵̡̗̻̝̙̓̿͒͆͐̕͝ͅ ̷͖͖̥̭̳͈̑͐̎̐͒K̴̡̡̯͖̹͍̺̟͉̰̆a̴̡̠̘̫̰̖͚͈̲͘t̷͎͈͉͓̩̋̽̿͌ş̷̙͔͎̰̪̜̫̾̌͜͝u̷͉̝̠͚̣͖̿̈́̀͂k̸̜͎̍͠i̴̬̯͇̻̼̹̦̱̋́”

(”you need to learn how to treat others kindly, bakugou katsuki”)

Bakugou is ready for this weird ass shadow man to attack him, he’s got his palms already sparking for the opportunity to blow his ass away back to whatever hell it came from

That doesn’t exactly go as planned

The monster doesn’t come at him but instead, he uses his black matter tendrils to pin you and shouto to the floor as the vine-like shadows slither around your body and constricts your lungs from breathing properly.

It isn’t long until you and todoroki pass out from the lack of air flow and

Bakugou goes into a rage as he sees your unmoving body displayed across the floor as he was too slow to protect you from this fate

The monster discards Deku’s body across the room like a ragdoll and slides its venom-looking ass next to Bakugou’s face and as soon as his crimson eyes meet then eyeless sockets of complete void, Katsuki’s head is smashed into the floorboard as the demonic energy escapes through the window to wreak havoc on the world.

Kaminari decides to check up on the four that ventured off by themselves and when he enter the room and saw them all laying on the floor huddled together, surrounded by candles all he could think to say was...

”🥺 they didn't invite me to the orgy”

[survivemiddleearth]

Rites of Passage

-

Crow- Bruh. I thought we were going to be friends/allies in this game but then I hear you were telling the entire tribe how I was not to be trusted and as much as you mock me for my lack of a social game, it sure saved me there! But still love ya and hope things have gotten better, and hey, maybe you were smart for targeting me from the start :P

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lmc21V-zBq0 

Roxy- runaway with me noww  oh its come away with me fuck

Dylan- king of first boot

Well mine was short lol. but I think Crow has played an amazing game and def deserves this dub :)

Crow- Although I personally trusted you, you were just unfortunately the outsider from the start and with having proof of Drew/Zach sparing me, I didn't want to risk reaching my neck out for you and getting labeled as trying to play both sides. You were robbed though, it was just because our tribe was so garbage at comps...

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j2WWrupMBAE 

Roxy- We didn’t meet in this game

Dylan- king of second boot

-

Crow- Legendary flop! You were hilarious and completely messy and if there's any way to bond with me, it's that. Unfortunately flops are always targeted for some reason pre-merge (maybe cuz they wreck their tribe average??? no shade, but) but I would have KILLED for your commentary from post-merge onwards cuz I felt completely alone being the only one constantly hogging the spotlight :/

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfHHv7yOYX0

Roxy- skinny legend

Dylan- you would have killed the lip syncing comp but these losers flipped the vote

Aah, what a fun time I had during this game (from the little I remember). I still would like to say it was a wonderful tribal, 8-0? wow so great. COuldn’t do it without people hating me <3 jkjk. Anyways! It was fun while it lasted and hopefully was fun for everyone that was in it too.

Crow-  Okay, truth be told, I really thought you were like the social queen of your tribe but when tribal came around and people said your name, I felt powerless, as the only person from Pikachu, to try and sway it, and especially when you seemed okay with it. Thank you for having a graceful exit, not many people can do that nowadays....

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CID-sYQNCew 

Roxy- http://sketchtoy.com/68755176 

Dylan- queen of having crazy fast internet. accepted her defeat which was iconic 

This game seemed very fun and I loved the opportunity to play, I wish I didn’t get so busy so I could’ve backstabbed Roxy like I planned. Ah well. Congrats on getting so far I hope the game was fun for you all!

Crow- I know I'm a big reason why you were cut just shy of merge but it was more of a move to solidify Sammy/Johnny (and supposed to be Eric...) and break apart the potential trio I saw in you, Roxy, and Dennis (I mean, now I'm sitting next to both of them in f4 so can't say I regret it :P ) You were a very intelligent, brash guy and I hope you know that your placement was not indicative of your game. Hope the novel turns out well!

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s1tAYmMjLdY 

Roxy- MY AUSSIE BUDDY UGH/ I wonder how this game wouldve gone with you here. You were fun to talk to and play  with and i loved chatting about the shows we both loved together/

Dylan- king of being blindsided. second season where I watched you get blindsided from a different tribe. 

-

Crow- Thank god you didn't try in this game. I didn't even want to get into the ring with you again and go for Round 3. Thanks for making this one easy :P

Dennis-  You freaking stole my tom bombadil to just be inactive -.-

Roxy- L

Dylan-  making it to merge without doing anything ? queen

That damn bitch Beyoncé got me again huh. I swore I wouldn't let her after last time but she always has to have the last word. Thank god she's been outed as a satanic black witch!!! Thank you to the brave former drummer for walking in the light and exposing her depravity. I will expect my reparations settlement money in the mail.

Crow- Okay I literally feel so bad like comforting you in that round but know that I was completely blindsided by it myself so I really hope that wasn't misunderstood as me trying to make sure you were blindsided asghsgsho but thanks for taking the bullet then! Love a good shiel- bodyguard.

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdCslA8xs98

Roxy-  nnnn I remember when I saw you in merge I was hyper excited to play with you. I never really allied with you or met you in games so finally getting to play with you finally a familiar face from your tribe was refereshing and welcoming. I told you to f2 me or im quitting lmfao. That lasted long ... rdfc Your vote off was a mess of flipping multiple names thrown and idols. I feel like we drifted during the day or 2 leading up to the tribal and we didn't really talk game that round which was sad. I really wanted to have you as a clsoe allly that game but it ended up the way it did since I saw jg as a closer ally.

Dylan- literally actually the most robbed person in this entire game. you were missed

This game was pretty fun. All of the people I was close to voting me out and losing on a twist was pretty shitty. I’d just never do these challenges ever again. :P

Crow- You're honestly just a mess. P.S. My beard is now gone because of you.

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fRh_vgS2dFE

Roxy- hahah hi hi johnny. “Daddy”. You are always a great blast to play with even though we have yet to truly get somewhere together. ALthough in hos we were close it was just a diverging of end game interests that tore us apart. I remember the jokes we made about applying for this org. I had no idea when I was applying that I would make it this far and when I applied for you as a joke haha. My biggest regret is not telling you about the vote and what was going down. Our relationship this game was sort of foggy but it was great while it lsted. 

Dylan- voted for me but you’re so lovable 

-

Crow- We were never on a pre-merge tribe together, then you made the big-ass move to blindside Drew at the first vote (without telling me, which no hard feelings) so when it came down to our mini-tribe's tribal, I felt like it was too little too late for both of us to try and make something happen together? I'd say we just fell on opposite sides rather than being enemies. But I hope you've been watching because I know you're an analytical guy who's obsessed with Survivor so I would love to hear your input as a juror.

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YShWLjj1TO0 

Roxy- UGH SO ROBBED!!! We had so much potential to play a fun game together but the unmerge robbed us of that T_T im glad we got to play together for one round at least

Dylan-  you and I have a lot in common, we both put our trust in the wrong person.

Hey y’all! This was game was fun and fresh and I did better than last time so I definitely achieved my goal! There really wasn’t anything shady going on until the night I left and I’m sure that was aired out so I have nothing to spill. Tbh I was just bored and wanted to be messy and have fun. It was a fun last night! I had a great time playing with everyone and good luck to the final 4!

Crow- Truth be told, I really didn't see myself voting you out so soon. I thought we were working together, sorta, but it always felt like you had better allies? Which I don't fault you for, I know I was not the most critical ally, for like, anyone in this game, but that's purely the reason I decided to vote you out over Eric. I might regret it though since Eric pretty much shunned me from there on out and I know you would've really appreciated me saving you.....but it is what it is. (also you didn't swipe on my tinder so im kinda insulted but dats fine!)

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfWlot6h_JM 

Roxy- Hey zach!! You seem like a really sweet person. We didn’t really hit if off and we never clicked together. WE had different allies and diff groups so us allyining was never really an option. I recon its just how the game unfolded and you were loyal to your allies while i was to mine and i respect you for that despite the mess of how you left. 

Dylan- why didn’t you give me the legacy idol. I’m kidding I would’ve misused it 

I really didn’t know what I was getting into here, and I REALLY liked it!! Who knew performing arbitrary semi-public tasks with complete strangers could be so much fun? I wish each of you the best, in the game and out of it. May Manwë smile upon those who walk the world; may Mandos rule with steady hand those who rest in his hall.

Crow- Literally, you were the only one I was just like, hey, he's probably not going to lie to me. And so it's ironic that we also never talked game other than the casual vote here and then....you were a very interesting person though so I wish I hadn't got caught up in the game as much and really tried to connect with you as a person, and for that, I take the blame.

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uE-1RPDqJAY 

Roxy- Ford!! When I first saw you in the scvanger hunt I asked "are you single ?" nnn you seem like a cool dude and you were fun to play with despite the fact we never really talkde game and we werent really aligned this game/ I still promised you to be honest to you and I think i pulled through on that. It was amazing fun to play with you and i hope you luck in yoru studies.

Dylan- you were amazing sweetie as a newbie you made it so far omg 

Hey guys! Like I said before I quit, I have no regrets about the game and how I played it. If I stuck around the community I would have loved to be friends with all of you! Best of luck to you all and may the best player win!

Crow- Hope everything is okay in your real life and I hope you were never offended by anything I did or said. I completely understand your game decisions and you don't ever need to apologize for them. You were a chaotic mess, but genuine and real, so you have my respect. You also proved what I've always thought you were (even back in Great Lakes) as a really go-getter type of player.

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SrcMMyNeJJs 

Roxy- rip gl with life

Dylan- I loved how we found middle ground during the F7. 

hiii yes i don’t have much to say. i had a blast and made some amazing friends and just goofed off a lot. No hard feelings, you are all icons...I’m rooting for one of you but i wish you all good luck!

Crow- Okay I love you as a person, but like, you also betrayed me for no reason so I'm a little confused as to why or how we stand now, but just know that whatever your reasons for doing so, it doesn't change how I see you as a person. And even through my bitterness in the betrayal, I will admit, you didn't deserve to go out like that.

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CSvFpBOe8eY 

Roxy- Sammy!! Weve had a very varied ride in our org careers and this game was no exception/ I feel like timezones really got to us this time round and early on our games diverged when I tried to save stephen and you tried to save Eric.  During merge and then unmerge i think you bonded more with jay and that tribe so we never really played as allies. Howveer i think the way you left did not give you justice. Jay letting you get idoled out after you were one of the few who stuck with her and then her quitting just because people were voting her out. You did NOT deserve that. And I was honestly  mad at jay for doing you dirty. 

Dylan- cirie who ? Jay shoulda used that idol on you you were the second most robbed queen 

-

Crow- Well, I had your back. I knew of multiple of your misdeeds in previous rounds and I think you knew that? But game-wise we were very compatible in playing styles (not similar, but definitely compatible - you were the strategic one, I was the......other...one) so although your exit was less than glorious for me, I do hope you find comfort in your gameplay and know that you were really impactful on the game, for better or worse.

Dennis- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXzDu071RdQ 

Roxy- nnnnnn she snapt

Dylan- there’s not enough space to describe anything but the takeaway is that I hope you know that like I actually genuinely care about your well being 

We just want to say a sincere thank you to everyone who came to have fun and played to their fullest extent. Jo and I have worked on this game for months and like we’ve said all along: the goal for this was for everyone to have fun in the chaos and the world of LOTR and Survivor combined. There’s a lot of drama and toxicity in the org community and in the world right now and if this game provided you with any sort of reprieve from either that’s all we could ever hope for. We hope you had a great time, we know we did, and we want to reiterate again: thank you all for bringing this game to life and for participating. Good luck to our final 4!

Love, 

Olivia and Joanna <3

[dangerouslycasualchild]

92 Statements.

 Tagged by : @flakandforay. Thank you for the tag sweetie! 

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people.

THE LAST:

Drink : Red Bull Phone call : Dad Text message : texting one of my boy as friend how I am dying due to work load. You are after that cutie!! hahah. And after all that here i am doing this tag. hahah Song you listened to: Years and years - Desire. Time you cried: I don’t really remember. A month maybe? yea i’ve grown tougher. 

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: Not at all.  7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Yes.  8. Been cheated on: Yes. 9. Lost someone special: yes and it’s really painful.  10. Been depressed: Yep.  11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: No. I am a pretty good drinker? I can handle drinks well and not even get drunk easily. haha.   LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS: 12. Black  13. White 14. Grey and unique colours that catch my eye. rather be light shades or dark. *they are four.haha. rulebreaker meh*

THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 5. Made new friends: Yes. 16. Fallen out of love: Nope. Did not fall in love yet.  17. Laughed until you cried: Yes!! Even yesterday i did. I am a meme. 18. Found out someone was talking about you: Yea. Not something surprising. lmao 19. Met someone who changed you: Uhn, not really.  20. Found out who your friends are: Yes. Every friend i think is a blessing for me usually ends up stabbing my back. hahah. But I have some real good friends too!!  21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Does my ex count? he is still in my fb list. Lol. Like I don’t even have the time to unfriend that little peice of shit. hah.

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Only few? Half either my juniors or seniors. So not really friends.  23. Do you have any pets: Yes! 2 Persian cats! 24. Do you want to change your name: Nah. When i end up doing something embarrassing then, yea might think about it. ahah   25. What did you do for your last Birthday: Long drive. 26. What time did you wake up: 9:00 am. I am not a morning person. Sorry.  27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Working my ass off -_- 28. Name something you can’t wait for: Work to be finished so i get paid. lol.  29. When was the last time you saw your mom: 4:00 pm she out with her friend now.  30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: My weight (i am on it) and enochlophobia.   31. What are you listening right now: my cousin screaming so loud cause she saw a ghost on tv, while flipping through channels. Lord bless her, she elder to me! 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Nah.  33. Something that is getting on your nerves: Work!! 34. Most visited Website: Google xD, You tube, Freelancer (my worksite. lol)

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME

35. Moles: yes I have many to keep a count. have two beauty ones on my chubby and not so beautiful face. haha

36. Marks: Stretchmarks? Do they count. yep. 

37. Childhood dream: Doctor. 

38. Haircolor: Jet black bruh. 

39. Long or short hair: Short now :(

40. Do you have a crush on someone: Nope. not at all. Done with it. 

41. What do you like about yourself: At least i am pretty cute. haha. 

42. Piercings: ear, which are now kinda closed. yep. 

43. Bloodtype: AB+

44. Nickname: Pika, Pikaboo, pikachu etc. 

45. Relationship status: Single as a pringle (i am keep this the same this cool.lmao) 

46. Zodiac: Virgo

47. Pronouns: she/her

48. Favorite TV Show: Lucifer, bajirao (Indian tv show) these are the one’s i am watching atm, otherwise my list gonna go on and on. 

49. Tattoos: Yep. One on my wrist. 

50. Right or left hand: Right.

51. Surgery: None yet. thank lord. 

52. Hair dyed in different color: I am so tempted but no.

53. Sport: Badminton?

55. Vacation: been long. Though I went to Delhi and Rajasthan last. 

56. Pair of trainers: None :(

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: Had some chips 58. Drinking: Coffeeeee!!!!! Caffeine is my drug.

59. I’m about to: Work Work Work :(

61. Waiting for: The end of work work work. 

62. Want to finish my: WORKKK!!!! 63. Get married: yep i will. I need to be pampered!! 64. Career: I am a student. 

WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: hugs !! kisses are good to, but i am single so *sobs* 66. Lips or eyes: Lips. 67. Shorter or taller: Taller 68. Older or younger: Older 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: Arms 71. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive 72. Hook up or relationship: Relationship (not a serious one will do) 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: Troublemaker? 

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a stranger: Nope. 75. Drank hard liquor: Once. yes.  76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: yes! i lost one of my glasses from my frame during rainy season!lmao I was searching for it with my flashlight and water was errwhere. In the end had to give up and get a new one ._. how did tht single shit just drop off.lol.  77. Turned someone down: Yea. 78. Sex on the first date: Virgin.  79. Broken someone’s heart: *classic idk* but maybe yep.  80. Had your heart broken: Yes. 81. Been arrested: nah bruh. i’d be homeless xD 82. Cried when someone died: No. i don’t like cry really I just get lost idk. I do cry after a lot of days, that to not much.  83. Fallen for a friend: yeah. 

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: yes. 85. Miracles: yes 86. Love at first sight: Not at all 87. Santa Claus: No 88. Kiss on the first date: If we good 89. Angels: yep ;) want to heheh. 

OTHER: 90. Current best friends name: Don’t wanna name. 

91. Eyecolor: Black

92. Favorite movie: I did not there were going to be life and death questions! You gon do this to me now ;( hehehe

Imma tag people I follow. No pressure peeps. 

@that-girl-who-is-in-ravenclaw @saintminyoongi @bulletproofwhalien @baekhyunstolemyeyeliner @xdirectionxinfectionx @bangtans-baby @jisoo-actor @silyol-blog @sweetsugars @jiminie-daddy @jiminniemouse @venomfame @dose-of-mulitfandom If anyone else stumbles upon this and wishes to do it feel free <3

[leverage-ot3]

notable moments from The Stork Job

leverage 1.06

Joe: Where is he? What have you done with him?

Dana: Why haven't you returned our calls?

Joe: Did you think we'd just go away?

Dana: We’ve given you the money. What else do you want? (approaches Irena) What have you done with Luca?!

(thug grabs Dana and pushes her aside)

Joe: Dana!

(Joe goes to help Dana and is stopped by the thug. Joe punches the thug, who then beats him into the ground as Irena and Nicolas walk away. Thug leaves, and Dana crawls to his side)

yo can we take a moment to respect and love these parents??? like technically luca was just a kid they were going to adopt but these two were ready to THROW DOWN for him because even though they didn’t really know each other, he was going to be their kid if that’s the last thing they did

- - - - -

Dana: $120,000. We had to take a second mortgage out on the house.

Nate: Well, we can get the money back.

Dana: We don't want the money. All we want is Luca.

Nate: Right. (looks at picture of Luca)

we love to see the clients being noble as hell

- - - - -

Eliot: Are we seriously considering this, huh? Swiping a kid?

Nate: Yeah, well -- What happened to you?

Eliot (scrapes on his face): Well, how was I supposed to know it was a lesbian bar?

...I bet it was from something fucking stupid

eliot “distinctive” spencer would have known it was a lesbian bar

(edit: I heard that on the commentary for that episode CK got the injury from trying to play football while wearing cowboy boots and honestly what a chaotic fav)

- - - - -

Eliot: How do we even know this kid is an orphan?

Parker: See him pocketing those cookies? He’s hoarding food. That bag on the table -- he keeps his essentials light and portable. He knows he's gonna be taken away at any moment. And there, when she goes to touch him, he flinches. He’s expecting… for her to... Trust me. He’s an orphan.

parker’s Tragic Backstory™ is about to be told in 40 minutes, let’s go

- - - - -

Sophie: Hey, can we -- can we stop off in Paris on the way?

Nate: Uh... maybe on the way back.

Sophie: Cool

sophie loves paris and was so happy and excited im-

- - - - -

Parker: Yes. And she's with someone.

Eliot: That’s never stopped me before

parker, rolling her eyes: bruh

- - - - -

sophie being “princess magda of slovenia” rb if u agree

- - - - -

Nate: You know, just hurry up.

Hardison: It’s not so fun working in the crappy command center, is it? No, see, you're usually off doing your European spy thing. Well, welcome to my world.

(Computer shows facial recognition program working on picture Eliot sent. Hardison offers Sophie a bottle of pop)

Hardison: Orangescu?

even in a foreign country hardison manages to get something akin to orange soda

- - - - -

Sophie: Who was it? -- Dagmar from the car-rental place was a lovely girl, but listen, Irina’s a professional grifter. She's gonna see straight through your moves. She does this for a living. You know, gets people to like her and trust her, even to fall in love with her. She doesn't do this for sport.

Nate: Mm. Sounds like someone I know.

s a v a g e

- - - - -

Nicolas: Beautiful name for a beautiful lady. Tell me, Hardison, what brings you to Serbia?

Hardison: Oh, do my fangs and cape frighten you

hardison being Done™ with a skeevy guy hitting on parker and making jokes to ease the tension 🥰

- - - - -

parker says that sleeping is one of her hobbies and honestly bitch me too

- - - - -

Parker: It’s amazing how far Serbia’s come, but the scars must still be there. I mean, all the families who suffered during the war.

Nicolas: Yes, but history always has its casualties.

Parker: Yes, but those families and those children.

Nicolas: It’s tragic, yes. But the strong, the smart, the... the beautiful, they survive.

[Flashback]

(Joe, Dana and Luca on home move.)

Joe: Smile!

Dana: Smile.

(A young Parker swinging, cuts to Luca sitting in the car that will take him away, cuts to young Parker on a merry-go-round, cuts to Luca being driven away)

Woman: What’s wrong?

(a young Parker in a car holding her bunny, cuts to Nicolas driving the car that takes Luca away)

Nicolas: It’s time to go.

[American Embassy]

Nicolas: Not everyone is worth saving.

(Parker gropes behind her and grabs a fork from the table, stabbing Nicolas with it. Everyone in the room looks in their direction)

parker’s past is developed a lot in this episode and we love to see it + bby you can stab anyone you want

- - - - -

parker fucking yeeting out the window is me after I do anything remotely embarrassing

- - - - -

Eliot: I’m lucky to have you on such a short notice. (takes paper from man) Zhavaliti. Is that right? Zhavaliti? Thank you? See? Yeah? No? Welcome to the set.

Hardison: Fire in the hole!

(Hardison sets off explosion of flame behind them)

Eliot: Yeah, it's exciting, isn’t it?

Irena: yes.

Eliot: That guy's our special-effects guy. He ain't all there.

friendship means gently bullying each other

- - - - -

Parker (sits down near prop truck): This is ridiculous.

Hardison (sits down next to her with fake gun): Tell me about it. We’re supposed to believe these are real?

Parker: This is what he expects me to do, fetch scripts and water?

Hardison: No, it's a trust thing. He just needs to know that you’re gonna go along with the game plan.

Parker: Yeah, yeah. I get it; we're a team.

Hardison: A little more than a team. I’m just saying

this was such a big episode for parker and her opening up to the team (hardison in specific)

- - - - -

Hardison (picks up papers): Sophie, are you -- seriously, Sophie. It was supposed to be a two-page scene between Irina and a boy.

(Eliot grabs pages)

Sophie: That’s still the heart of it.

Eliot: "The heart of it"? There’s like 10 pages here! You have a stunt. You have special effects.

Parker: "Sister Magda crosses and gets a loaf of bread." Wait, who's sister Magda?

(Sophie rolls out dramatically wearing a nun’s costume while ethereal music is playing)

Hardison: Tell me you didn't see that coming.

(Eliot grabs the pages and walks away)

sophie: is dramatic

eliot: surprised pikachu face

hardison: ??? were you expecting something else

- - - - -

Sophie: Listen. All right, look, look -- look at all this. This is my world, okay? You need -- you need someone to, I don't know, crawl through an air duct, you call Parker. Bash her head in - Eliot. Internet porn -- Hardison. If you need someone to take over a movie, then...

Nate: yes, an -- an actor. Right

sOpHiE bRuH

poor hardison, he never gets enough credit

- - - - -

Nate: And... cut!

(everyone claps, Sophie sits up, smiling)

Eliot: She can't act.

Nate: She can act when it's an act.

Eliot (going to Sophie): Unbelievable.

Sophie Really?! Really?!

Eliot: Yeah, really. It was great.

eliot is such a supportive friend because literally his jaw dropped at her acting and literally the first thing he did when they said cut was rush over to her and compliment her

eliot is secretly a hype man disguised in many layers of gruff

- - - - -

Hardison: Just take it slow until she leads you to Luca.

Parker: I can't believe they sent you to babysit me.

Hardison: I’m here on my own

hardison cares about her so quickly I’m soft

- - - - -

parker’s haunted look and glassy eyes when she stumbles into the room with all the children? her heavy breathing? how she has to brace herself on a bed frame so that she doesn’t fall over? heartbreaking

- - - - -

[Harbor]

(van pulls to a stop and Parker and Hardison get out, Parker pacing nervously)

Parker: This isn't just an adoption scam.

Hardison: I know. I already called Nate.

Parker: These are arms dealers, and they're using the orphanage for cover.

Hardison: I already called Nate. Now, look, we can go over this with the others back at the hotel.

Parker: We have to bail.

Hardison: No. no, no, no. What about Luca and the others? We can't leave them like that.

Parker: Why not?

Hardison: You don't mean that.

Parker: You think this is the only crappy orphanage in this place? This is a country full of orphans, okay? We can't save them all.

Hardison: No, but we can save this one. Parker, we can -- we can save this one. Look, I know growing up was tough. I-I know that you -- you grew up in the system. It was -- it was bad. I know. It was, it was worse than bad, but that doesn't mean that all foster parents are monsters. Mine wasn't.

Parker: You grew up with your grandmother.

Hardison: We called her "nana," but she was our foster mom. She, uh... she -- she would cuss like a sailor. The old girl would tan your ass just as soon as look at you. But -- but she fed us, she bathed us, she put a roof over our head. And, oh, she would raise hell if you so much as looked at us crooked.

Parker: Yeah?

Hardison: Yeah.

Parker: Well, you were lucky. No. We’ll put these kids in the system, and odds are, they're gonna -- they're gonna... (trying not to cry) they're gonna turn out like me.

Hardison: I like how you turned out.

(Parker breathes hard, getting control of herself)

Hardison: Let’s go

this whole conversation was a lot meta wise but also this was one of the real defining moments in their relationship in s1. it’s also one of the first times parker starts to open up to the team for real, even if it’s only hardison

also, I personally will never get over the “I like how you turned out”

- - - - -

Hardison: I ran humpty and dumpty through the usual databases. Chechen separatists. Seriously bad dudes.

(Eliot chuckles)

Hardison: After reading their bios, I don't think I’m ever gonna sleep again.

Eliot: Never tell a Chechen his sister has a nice smile. Trust me

eliot is an idiot

- - - - -

Nate: Okay, let's go. (leads Luca forward)

Sophie (in Serbian): Everything’s going to be okay. Do you understand?

Eliot: Maybe this will help.

(Eliot leads Luca over to the Mortons)

Dana: Hi, Luca. Do you remember us?

(Luca smiles, Dana hugs him)

Dana: Thank you.

Joe: Thank you so much. Come on.

(The Mortons and Luca get in their car)

Eliot: I got to tell you, I had my doubts at first, this feels pretty good

and the eliot-being-soft-around-kids saga B E G I N S

- - - - -

parker trying her best to translate but just making the kids giggle

“men will sadden you” same

and what gets the kids up and going? Haagen-Dazs

- - - - -

fierce, determined parker beating up scumbags is my sexuality

+

parker isn’t violent a lot in terms of being anywhere close to the team’s fighter/hitter, but she fights so hard for the kids in this episode and it’s one of the only times we see her fight fight and that shows just how much she cares

- - - - -

Parker: Shh, shh, be quiet, they have armed guards at that door.

(door bursts open and a man falls through. Eliot stands in the doorway, looking angry)

Sophie: No, they don't

her team always has her back, even if they’re angry at her trying to go at it alone

- - - - -

parker spreading herself out to cover as much space as possible, bracing herself to get shot over and over with the hopes that at least none of the kids will im-

she’s so selfless sksjdnnsns

- - - - -

eliot being all gruff that things happened the way they did but smiling at the exploding building because they did it and the kids were safe

- - - - -

THE FUCKING PROP TRUCK PLAYING SPOOKY AND WEREWOLF NOISES AS THEY DRIVE AWAY JUST TO MOCK THEM

+

bonus: nate’s “anD CUT”

- - - - -

Parker: Hey, how did you know I’d be at the orphanage?

Nate: Thank Hardison for that. (follows Eliot)

Hardison: You know you could have gotten killed. Did -- did you even have an exit strategy?

Parker: I didn't really think that far ahead.

Hardison: You don't work alone anymore. You know that, right?

Parker: I know.

Hardison: We're a team…?

Parker: We're a little more than a team.

this important conversation but also HARDISONS SMILE

- - - - -

Parker: (gets on the van) Hey, Nate. I have to tell you something.

Nate: What is it?

Parker: We have to stop at Hagen Daaz.

Children: Hagen Daaz!!!

after all that they deserve like a billion pints of ice cream