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tifarobles · 6 years

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The Pressures of Being a Millennial (and a Parent)

I’ll admit, I am not an expert on the topics I’d like to explore today. However, it’s important to me to explore some thoughts with you about what it feels like as a parent in today’s society as someone who just turned 30. I will be speaking mostly from my anecdotal experience and personal theories. I will not link to anything and encourage you to do your own Googling if you have questions about the “facts” I claim.

Let’s start by exploring some of the negative stereotypes associated with being a millennial.

Millennials are thought to be narcissistic and some studies have backed this up. I blame two things for this stereotype - the highly competitive job market and the demand of having a social media presence. We are pushed to have confidence in order to succeed in interviews and often given the advice to fake it until you make it. If you are too confident, you are considered cocky and full of yourself. Not confident enough and people don’t think you have what it takes to make it in the cutthroat corporate world.

Why is the job market more competitive? Lots of reasons. To simply name a few - there is a higher average level of education, a higher age of retirement, more job switching between places of employment, and more women in the workforce. This competition drives a lot of stress into every aspect of our lives, from our career choice to what level of unhappiness is acceptable at a place of work (including being overworked, underpaid, yelled at, sexually harassed and dealing with racist, sexist, or homophobic attitudes).

Women, in particular, grow up with the pressures to look a certain way based on distorted versions of reality in magazines, on commercials, and in pornography. We are given the option to work very hard and spend lots of money to try to reach this unattainable ideal of what a powerful woman looks like in order to exude confidence or we can choose the non-conformity route and deal with the consequences of that. Either way, people will take your appearance into their consideration of how they view you, judge you, and determine how they guestimate your self-esteem level and worth.

Diving deeper into what I’m referring to with the social media demand, social media is always on. Unlike the days before the internet existed, there is no off time. People are always online. Everyone you are connected with in life views your Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, etc to see how you are doing. There is a certain expectation now in our culture to utilize these tools for social communication. This has added a lot of benefits to society, but it’s also exhausting to keep up with. If someone is any sort of a public figure or community leader, this becomes a full-time job on top of your full-time job. Being a parent becomes a third full-time job! In many careers, you have to interact with these forums. In almost every career, you have to at the very least engage with computers and emails on a daily basis.

There is a level of technological involvement with everything we do that didn’t exist before and this technology is now the place where the vast majority of social interactions take place as well. Most millennials are always connected online, through work, hobbies, talking to friends, playing games, reading, shopping, and more. This is a major change for humans and is changing society in ways I’m sure we haven’t even begun to understand. Yet millennials are judged for the use of this new technology when there is no real education surrounding the potential disadvantages of constant screen time. Instead, we are rewarded for being connected longer and more often.

As a parent, how do I ensure my child is tech-savvy while also not overexposed to screens? How do I ensure he knows how to engage in meaningful face-to-face interactions if all of his interests end up being related to television, video games, social media, and computers? How do I teach him that his self-worth isn’t reliant on how many likes he gets or followers he has? I have concerns that the next generation (or even ours, honestly) engage exponentially more online than offline and what effect this has on real emotional connections and emotional intelligence. At the same time, I want Xander to experience movies, TV shows, video games and know how to communicate well over text, emails, blogs, social media, etc.

As far as the stereotype related to millennials feeling “special” I actually think this is related to our generation being more aware that all humans have basic human rights and the easiest way to fight for this is through your own experience. Yes, I believe I deserve the right of choice when it comes to my own health and family planning. Yes, I believe that birth control should be accessed for free. Yes, I believe every human has the right to enter our country for safety reasons. Yes, I believe every human has the right to free health care and education. Do these beliefs make me seem entitled because I think I’m a special snowflake?

I’m not sure how to raise Xander to be the “right” level of confidence that people feel our generations’ parents failed at. I’m hoping that his natural charm will help, but I also hope people don’t view him poorly for his good looks assuming he didn’t have to work for anything. I want him to have good self-esteem, but I don’t want him to feel superior to others. I think I can strike this balance, but I also feel like society is working against these goals with contradictory messages.

In the workplace, it’s said that millennials have an increased importance of work-life balance. This is viewed as us wanting to be spoiled. I’d like to point out that this is likely related to a few different factors - the need for two-income households, the competitiveness in the job market, the average wage to the cost of living ratio, and the ability to always work when you are home on off hours.

Related to this, there is also a desire for direct feedback from employers more than in previous generations and this creates a false stereotype that we need more hand-holding than older generations. Nowadays, most people do not stay in one job for their entire career. The majority of my friends switch jobs every 2-3 years, and not always by choice. This is a huge change. Your job could be taken away from you at any given minute through no fault of your own. Entire teams get axed all the time, wages for contractor roles have dropped in the last 5 years, and stability isn’t a word I think many 30 years olds feel like they have in their career. On top of this, housing prices and rent costs have skyrocketed during the years since I graduated college in 2011. Having some established feedback channel helps to determine if you are safe in your current job.

I could get into the statistics of layoffs, unemployment rates, average wage by age compared to cost of living, etc, but that could go on for a long time and would require a great deal of research and probably lead to some debates. This is not the point of this post...

Turning to the point of my post. As a parent, this is incredibly stressful. The option to have a stay-at-home parent is now considered a luxury. This used to be the norm. I’m not saying that women should be forced to stay at home with their kids, not at all. I just wish there was the option of choice for families to decide what is best for them, whether that be daycare and two full-time parents, a stay-at-home dad, a nanny, or something else. Being a stay-at-home parent nowadays essentially means that one parent has to make the average salary of two people or that you will have to learn to completely change your budgeting style, not just to account for the cost of raising a child, but for basic everyday things. I will say that the recommendation of spending 30% of your paycheck on housing is no longer realistic. Millennials now spend up to 45% of their income on housing before they are 30 (there’s a link for that one!). Add a kid to the equation and both parents pretty much have to work unless one makes bank. This adds an additional cost of childcare in addition to less time with family and potentially an overall more stressful home environment.

Mothers, in particular, have it incredibly difficult. We are expected to be the emotional support structure of our home, one of the income providers, the person who ensures everyone is fed, dressed, and cleaned, we are expected to keep our house clean, the laundry put away, the dishes not stacked up in the sink, ensuring we have our own self-care and time with friends scheduled, all while maintaining a strong (but not too strong) attitude at work. We are expected to be sensitive to our children, yet thick-skinned at work. We are expected to be willing and able to listen to customers and coworkers complain, but not be able to complain ourselves or we will be seen as nagging. If we have bold opinions, we will be viewed as someone who overexaggerates or overreacts. If we are quiet, we are thought to not have ideas. We get talked over in meetings, are told we are too loud when we talk over others and are viewed as someone to walk on eggshells around if we call out this sexist behavior.

At work alone, there is a lot to deal with. At home, there is a great sense of responsibility. At the end of the day, I care more about being a good mom than any of these other things. Being a working mom I felt like I was constantly at war with myself over what to prioritize between my own health, my son’s happiness, being there for my husband, and my ability to give 100% at work. At a certain point, my sanity broke under the pressures. I had to stop working to figure out how to balance properly. Stopping working led to a slew of other issues in our house financially. The work I did take up took up time I’d normally be sleeping, so that is still something I’m learning to fit into my days.

Yet, I am afraid to even write about these feelings. What if a potential employer reads this post and thinks I can’t handle the job they want me to do?

I don’t have an answer on how to solve this problem. I just think this problem, much like mental health, needs to be discussed, largely because the two go hand in hand. I just hope that by the time my son is starting a family (or choosing not to), that these pressures won’t be as great. I hope that whatever his choice is it is his choice because it is what he wants, not because he feels like he can’t have a family and a career. I hope he doesn’t have to spend half of his paycheck on putting a roof over his head. I hope he doesn’t get laid off from multiple jobs in a span of 5 years due to reorgs, job descriptions suddenly changing, and companies going out of business like Mike and I have faced. I hope he isn’t constantly job searching in case the worst is to happen or because he wants to find a job that will actually pay the bills and have a little that can go into savings.

I hope that by the time he is our age there won’t still be a war over who can use what bathroom. I hope there won’t be children being gassed because they need a safer place to live. I hope there won’t be a war on women’s bodies that includes taking away their choice and taking away their ability to protect their own bodies from an unwanted pregnancy. I hope his future generation includes the importance of understanding consent and excludes blaming victims.

Part of the human condition is that we will never get everything right. There will probably always be war. There will probably always be people that use other people in terrible ways. I just hope that things can get easier than they are now. At least we now have working toilets, lighting, central heating, air conditioning, the ability to travel around the world, and many other huge benefits from our technological evolution. At least slavery is illegal and women are allowed to vote. I just hope that the future has a better outlook for equality for all, and that is very related to the economy. As they say, the rich keep getting richer and the poor get poorer. I’m afraid the middle class is vanishing and marginalized groups will be the ones to suffer the most.

Xander, I will do all I can to prepare you for this world and to help you be ready to impact the needed change. At the same time, I’ll try to keep the house reasonably clean, healthy and delicious food on the table, stylish clothes on your back, and find time to play with you and give you snuggles every day that I can.

#parenting #liberal #millennials

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commschoolblog · 3 years

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NCC Marching Band Promotion

Though Facebook has gone through rocky times in recent years, they still hold the number one spot for social media network usage at a whopping 2.895 million users. Facebook had humble beginnings dating back to February 4, 2004, when Mark Zuckerberg, 19 years old at the time, launched Facebook from his Harvard dorm. Little did Zuckerberg know that within only four years, his new platform would surpass other large social media platforms such as Myspace and take its prominent place at number one. With such a large amount of people using Facebook, there are redeeming qualities drawing people to the app.

U s a b i l i t y :

Facebook is the easiest platform to utilize as a media consumer. The usability of this app attracts people with ranging knowledge in technology to the app. Navigating Facebook is very intuitive and easy to use allowing it to be very accessible for all users. In addition, Facebook allows for just enough customization that even the least tech savvy person would be able to utilize such features. As a result of Facebook's usability attracting so many, businesses and organizations see Facebook as an opportunity to capitalize on marketing efforts.

Organizations and businesses utilize Facebook to promote their offerings to the public. Facebook allows one to not only post text, but pictures as well. This has proven to be a powerful way in which businesses can communicate with consumers. An example of such a scenario is seen when businesses are able to push consumers from wanting their item, to actually purchasing the item due to social marketing. So many businesses have seen and begun to maximize Facebook’s marketing potential that their advertising growth rate has increased by 22% from the previous year. This is so as marketers can reach 32% of the population with advertising on Facebook. When promoting services and organizations on Facebook, it is important that one keeps in mind the age group that uses Facebook the most.

People of varying ages use Facebook all the time but there is a prominent group that must be taken into account when marketing. The age group that uses Facebook the most consists of those in the age range of 25-34 with a makeup 13.1% of women and 19.3% of men. Approximately six in ten adults use Facebook with each of them averaging 34 minutes a day of active use. With the primary user demographic being Millennials, it is pertinent that creators promote in ways that are authentic and engaging as that is what this generation responds best to. Furthermore, it has been shown that video advertising is the most effective way to advertise towards Millenials. This age group is also attracted to websites and pictures that are aesthetically pleasing with funny and informative content. With this information in mind, one should be able to effectively create a marketing plan that is tailored to the demographic that utilizes Facebook the most.

N C C A p p l i c a t i o n :

With all of this information in mind, I plan to take advantage of Facebook’s ability to reach mass audiences. I am currently in charge of the North Central College Marching Band Facebook page. Prior to me taking over, the marching band’s director, Dr. Sean Kelley, was the only person posting on the page. His posting style consisted of about one post a week. He almost never posted pictures of videos from any of the marching band’s performances. He primarily posted updates on when concerts were as well as general happenings of the band. In my opinion, though not professional, the page had a lot of potential not yet realized. When I took over the page, the goal was and continues to be to bring attention to the band in an attempt to increase enrollment in the band. This goal is especially important as enrollment, due to the pandemic, has drastically decreased from between 80 to 100 down to about 50 members currently. As this is a hefty goal, I have created a plan to assist myself in achieving the goal.

My plan was slated to start on Friday the 19th with a post pertaining to game day details as well as an invite for people to come out to the game and support the band. This plan got slightly derailed as our football team’s opponent, Carnegie Mellon University, experienced a Covid-19 breakout and had to forfeit the game. To adapt to this announcement that was made on Friday the 19th, I plan to post a picture to tide the Facebook page over until Thanksgiving where I plan to then post another picture for Thanksgiving. From there, I plan to post a day game eve picture and text on Friday nights until NCC’s football team either loses or wins the championship. If they unexpectedly lose early on in the playoffs, I plan to use photos that were taken during the football games to promote our family atmosphere. As the goal of my role in taking on the Facebook page is to promote awareness of our band to high schoolers, I have created a plan to make sure that happens.

I plan to release challenges after the next semester starts in 2022. My first challenge will entail color guard. I am going to have my band director learn a few moves with a color guard flag, set a few color guard girls up behind him and have them perform a short routine. Once done, I am going to challenge either Downers Grove North, Downers Grove South, or Plainfield East’s band director to do the same thing. I am choosing these schools as we have direct relations with their directors so I know that they will be willing to participate. From there, the hope is that they will challenge other schools and in effect, spread the word of our marching band. I will most likely post one more challenge during the pap band season either pertaining to low brass songs or drumline songs with the hopes of getting the students involved.

In conclusion, Facebook reigns supreme when it comes to the amount of people who utilize the app. If used properly, I can utilize the app to create a name for the North Central College Marching Band. In order to optimize my success, I must take into account the audience who uses that app the most, Millennials. If I take these aspects into consideration, success is imminent.

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littlefirefox · 7 years

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Generation Z-

The generation that succeeds the Millennials. The Generation who is “tech obsessed”, yet tech savvy. As an older Generation Z person, I am going to voice my opinions.

If you talk to a millennial or any older generation you will hear many of these cons to our amazing generation; lazy, self-involved, higher mental illness rates, disrespectful, intolerant to the older values, tech dependance. Here is how that’s bullshit:

Lazy: We aren’t lazy. At all. There are many Gen Z-ers who are incredibly innovative and are creating tons of cool things! We don’t take a lot of time on many things and are defined as lazy? I’m sorry I don’t want to spend a ton of time on something that’s meaningless. We Gen Z-ers like to KISS or Keep It Simple, Stupid.

Self-Involved: Bullshit! So what! We take selfies and live in the moment. Wed tend to look at our phone a lot and we don’t socialize verbally. I’m sorry that your boring ass conversation about politics and weather aren’t enticing like talking with someone halfway across the globe about each other’s cultures. At least we don’t spend more than three seconds on a photo while old kings and queens spent hours getting a portrait painted. Though, sometimes we do overdo it on the selfies, but not everyone takes selfies.

High Mental-Illness Rates: People say we fake mental illness to get attention, but maybe we just want someone to address the fact that many of us have to suffer silently and get some people to educate the world about why suffering shouldn’t be kept quiet, yet when we speak up, all we get is “Well, at least you have a house and a family”. Oh how I feel privileged. I want to kill myself everyday, but it’s okay because I was born into a family and can live in a house. I didn’t pick this family! I have no say with a lot in my life, but it doesn’t matter because there is always someone who is suffering more. MENTAL ILLNESS DOESN’T CARE ABOUT YOUR SITUATION IN LIFE YOU INCOMPETENT AND USELESS PAPERCLIP OF A WALNUT!

Disrespectful: This is common with my parents and they say that because people don’t hold open doors anymore, this generation is disrespectful. Holding a door open is not a respect thing, it’s a courtesy thing! WHICH ARE TWO DIFFERENT THINGS!!!!! Respect is treating someone with decency and not being a little smart aleck (or a little shit dick) to them. Courtesy is doing deeds out of the goodness of your heart. Just because I don’t hold a door for your ass when you’re 20 feet away is not being disrespectful. That’s just being obsessive. Do we argue a lot? Yeah. But, when you argue back to me, and then say I’m Disrespectful, it makes me wanna smash your face in, just a little bit. Just enough so it hurts for a good long while and you never forget it. :)

Intolerant: Okay, treating other human beings as you know, HUMAN BEINGS regardless of race, gender and sexuality, does not mean we are disrespectful. We are just more aware and a little more educated to realize that sometimes, people can be different and that’s okay. It also means that we don’t find your blatantly racists, sexists and/or homophobic “jokes” funny. We just realized that discriminating someone over something so trivial as their skin color is just stupid. (And yes, this is supposed to be condescending)

Tech Dependance: Okay, this one comes with growing up in the age where technology is incredibly advanced and continuing to grow in ways more than a computer that weighs 80 pounds. Yes, we know that you didn’t google things, but your education standards were much lower and school was easier and more accessible. Also, playing with dirt and sticks is really boring, and there are more things you could have done. To us, these phones are what your dirt and sticks were, something to have fun when you were bored. Times change, but your mindset doesn’t.

And yet, Milinneials will always complain that they had it more rough because they don’t have money. But, while they lament about their worthless lives, Generation Z is going to kick some ass, because who fucking cares, we are belittled for everything. So, suck it up and fuck shit up.

#generation z #cursing

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sweetsofties · 6 years

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Hi friends! I’m the crocheter, designer, and blogger behind Sweet Softies (www.sweetsofties.com). I share free and paid patterns, tips and tutorials, and hold community-building events like CALs, pattern tests, and creator challenges! However, I don’t usually talk a whole lot about my personal life. Well, that’s about to change as I’ve decided to do this fun challenge suggested by my friend, @Yarnhild! Without further ado, here are 10 things about me that you might not know! (Read full post on my blog!) 1. I am a speech-language pathologist (or "SLP" for short)! I work with students with special needs in the educational setting and help them develop and improve their language and communication skills. 2. I am multilingual. I speak English, Spanish, and Mandarin. 3. I consider myself to be a jack of all trades and master of NONE! I have many interests and hobbies, such as writing, illustrating, Chinese brush painting, folding origami, and sewing. My art Instagram is @jadeking.draws. 4. I am a happy vegan! 5. Most of my life was spent in sunny California. My husband and I relocated to the Pacific Northwest several years ago, and we love life here in Washington State! 6. I love muted colors in general, and I'd say that my favorite colors would be cherry blossom pink, pastel yellow, lavender, and jade green. 7. My musical tastes are eclectic, to say the least. I listen to hip-hop, rap, folk songs, EDM, reggaeton, instrumentals, classical, Celtic music, and just about a bit of everything. 8. Despite being a millennial, I don’t consider myself to be very tech-savvy at all! 9. I have a huge affinity for rustic, woodland, Celtic, medieval, Renaissance, fairytale, fantasy, bohemian, indigenous, colonial, and prairie-revival styles. 10. I read storybooks online (www.youtube.com/languageliftoff), for children around the world to enjoy! . . . #crochetersofinstagram #crocheter #meetthemaker #maymeetthemaker #meetthemaker2018 #artist #blogger #designer #slp #vegan #plantbased #wfpb #10thingsaboutme #creativehappylife #washington #seattle #seattleblogger #crochetblogger #veganblogger

#crochetblogger #washington #meetthemaker2018 #meetthemaker #veganblogger #maymeetthemaker #crochetersofinstagram #seattleblogger #designer #plantbased #seattle #vegan #slp #creativehappylife #artist #crocheter #blogger #wfpb #10thingsaboutme

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teoriconcapital · 5 years

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Millennials are cutting costs to make ends meet — even on the happiest day of their lives

Christina Halloway and her fiancé are getting married in September and she has had to cut down a few costs, such as her bridal gown, guest list and a planner, to make the wedding work with their finances. The millennial restaurant manager in Waterloo, Ont., said it took her two years to pay down her debt and finally pick a wedding date. “We got engaged during the holidays, 2018,” she said. “I didn’t want to get married in debt because I owed quite a big number on my line of credit. Honestly, my parents have chipped in a lot.” Millennials are increasingly skimping on wedding costs, including eloping to pop-up chapels instead of hosting big weddings in grand venues. This has a lot to do with their values and even more to do with economics: rising living expenses and student loans, as well as income that just isn’t keeping pace. A 25-34 year old in Ontario makes an average of $43,700 per year, according to Statistics Canada. But last year it cost an average of $2,209 per month, or $26,508 per year, to rent a one-bedroom condo in Toronto. Prefer to buy? It takes approximately $800,000 to buy a home in the city, according to the Toronto Real Estate Board. And millennials have student debts to pay off as well. Those who left school last year had an average debt of $14,311, according to a study by Hoyes, Michalos & Associates Inc., insolvency trustees based in Kitchener, Ont. And since Statistics Canada reports undergraduate tuition went up by 3.3 per cent and graduate tuition by 2.4 per cent from the last academic year, millennials’ debts are only going to rise. As a result, millennials have to cut corners wherever they can, including on their weddings. Here are six ways they are reducing costs on the so-called best day of their lives. Saving for a home or vacation instead of a wedding “Millennials are much more interested in spending their money on life goals such as owning a home and developing their careers,” said Lynzie Kent, founder of Love by Lynzie Events & Design and The Pop-Up Chapel Co. in Toronto. “They either want to spend a lot of money on their honeymoon, or they want to spend a lot of money on their house. Their values don’t align with spending $30,000 to $100,000 on a wedding,” she said. “This year alone, we will marry 100 couples in our pop-up chapel. That’s where the trend is shifting.” They either want to spend a lot of money on their honeymoon, or they want to spend a lot of money on their house Lynzie Kent Some couples are even staying home. Torontonians Kyle Marshall and Tara Black got engaged last year and are tying the knot in April at her parents’ house. “We are using what we get for the wedding to contribute to our honeymoon in Montreal,” said Marshall, a full-time student. Evelyn Clark, a Calgary-based director, lead planner and designer at Evelyn Clark Weddings, also said millennials prefer to save their money for a house, “or fun trips abroad, travelling to Europe or Asia instead.” Quality over quantity Millennials who pay for their own weddings prefer smaller guest lists and don’t like grand venues. On average, wedding venues charge $100 per head, so, naturally, smaller events cost less. “(We have) a small guest list. Two people, maybe four for me, and maybe five for Tara,” Marshall said. He’s letting Tara deal with the finances. “I trust her, so I just let her do her thing.” “With our clients, there’s a lot more emphasis on creating an incredible party and a day where everyone feels considered and has a fun time. Less emphasis is placed on outdated traditions or spending money on something they don’t feel like it’s worth it,” Kent said. “They’re more interested in creating a memorable experience.” Those using their parents’ bank accounts spend a little more. “Our clients are more in the luxury market. Our average is around the $65,000 area,” Clark said. “My millennial clients are actually having their weddings paid for by their parents so they don’t cut down as much.” Untraditional wedding attire High-end boutiques sell veils for about $250, but custom do-it-yourself veils can cost $25 or less, according to wedding blogs. “Not a lot of our brides wear traditional veils anymore,” Kent said. “What’s trendy right now are flower crowns, jewelled crowns. There’s just a new bohemian look.” Buying pre-owned gowns and sharing gowns are also becoming the new norms. “I am seeing a shift towards sustainability in the wedding industry across the board in the wedding industry including fashion,” Kent said. For example, Halloway borrowed her mother’s wedding dress and saved almost $1,500, the industry average. “Her dress is vintage, but I did revamp it to my liking, which cost me less than half of my budget.” Marshall, meanwhile, said he won’t be wearing a tuxedo to his big day. “Pants and shoes I already have, and I’m going to go shopping for a shirt,” he said. “The most expensive (cost) might be the dress or cake. The least expensive will be the shirt I buy for the day.” An article in MoneyWise said 68 per cent of brides today do not partake in the garter toss tradition as they find it distasteful. It also saves them as much as $125. Food over limos Millennials tend to choose wedding cake alternatives such as cake pops, cupcakes and doughnuts. “A lot of our couples don’t even bother with the cake. They do an alternative to a cake,” Kent said.

Many millennials are choosing cupcakes over the expensive wedding cake. Allen McInnis/The Gazette files On average, wedding cakes cost $450 while cupcakes cost around $2 each. Since millennials are inviting fewer guests than ever before, they are spending less on wedding desserts and booze as well. Kent said that when deciding between premium alcohol and a limo, millennials would choose the former. “Invitations and often cake are less of a priority when it comes to budget allocation,” Clark said. Marshall and Black are paying for cake and decorations, “but if I know her dad, he might offer to pay for some.” Diamonds aren’t forever Millennials are spending less on diamonds and more on precious stones. “I’ve definitely seen a shift towards bespoke rings. I’ve seen black diamonds. A bride came in the other day and she had an amethyst. I’ve seen turquoise in rings. My girlfriend just got engaged the other day; she has a blue sapphire,” Kent said. “People don’t just really see the value in spending that much in a ring. Also, a diamond can be a bit controversial as well.” The Economist reported that “young consumers increasingly shun the taint of conflict and exploitation” that are sometimes associated with diamond mining. Using planning apps Tech-savvy millennials are using free wedding planning apps such as TieTheKnot, iWedPlanner and Wedding Countdown to plan their big day. “We use an online planning software,” Kent said. “It’s almost like Slack, but for wedding planning.” Millennials are also opting for paperless invitations through Paperless Post and online honeymoon apps like HoneyFund. Clark said many couples skip the hard copy, or send an invitation, but have everyone RSVP via a wedding website. Financial Post • Email: [email protected] | Twitter: zebakn Read the full article

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kennethmjoyner · 5 years

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A Different Kind of Lawyer Directory, Made with Millennials In Mind

What do millennials look for when shopping for a lawyer? They want to know if you’ll meet with them in Starbucks. They want to know if you accept payment via Venmo or Bitcoin. They want to know a fun or quirky fact about you.

That, at least, is the premise of Modern Attorney, a new attorney directory that aims to match millennial clients with lawyers who fit their lifestyles. The site encourages attorneys to create profiles that show their personalities and in which they are transparent about their services and fees.

The directory was launched by the people behind bankruptcy site NextChapter, which was acquired in September by Fastcase. Janine Sickmeyer, NextChapter’s founder, told me that she originally created the directory to help funnel leads to the bankruptcy attorneys who use NextChapter, but that it proved so popular, she decided to open it to all practice areas.

“Six months ago, we at NextChapter started talking about how we would look for an attorney,” Sickmeyer said. “All of us agreed we aren’t going to go find an attorney in the ways people might have done so in the past. We want to find lawyers who work the way we live, who will meet us in a coffee shop or talk with us over video chat.”

Profiles show how the lawyer communicates, options for consultations, and ways in which the lawyer is tech savvy.

Lawyers’ profiles on Modern Attorney have sections that tell potential clients the different ways they will communicate — such as by email, text or remotely. They tell whether the lawyer meets by video conference, in coffee shops, or by traveling to the client.

Profiles indicate the ways in which a lawyer is tech savvy, showing when a lawyer has a secure client portal, uses “modern technology,” and communicates by texting. Profiles show average fees per hour or per matter, and the payment methods the lawyer accepts.

Profiles offer ‘fun facts’ about the lawyer.

Lawyers are encouraged to offer “fun facts” about themselves. One says he plays bass in a wedding band. Another says she bakes over 200-dozen Christmas cookies every year. Profiles have sliders for lawyers to indicate whether they are cat or dog people, prefer mountains or cities, and lean more towards books or sports.

Profiles do not have peer or user reviews.

“The benefit of this profile is to show your personality,” Sickmeyer said. “Millennial clients want to meet with an attorney who works the way they live.”

Clients Contact Attorneys Directly

Potential clients who come to the site search for lawyers by choosing a practice area and then a city or zip code. They then get a list of matching attorneys, which they can further refine by filters such as whether they accept Bitcoin or offer free consultations.

If a client finds a lawyer who interests them, they click a “Get Quote” or “Message” button on the lawyer’s profile page. Either button leads to a brief series of modal screens that ask for more information about the client and the matter, after which the information is sent to the attorney.

Although this lawyer matches a search for divorce, the contact form assumes the contact is for a bankruptcy.

Right now, there seems to be a problem with these screens, in that they assume the potential client is filing bankruptcy. If I search for and find a divorce lawyer or personal injury lawyer and click the contact button, I get the same screen asking me if I am interested in filing bankruptcy for myself or my business.

NOTE: This issue has been fixed. Now, the contact form has a drop-down showing the areas in which the attorney practices and prompts the potential client to select the type of legal problem for which they seek assistance.

For attorneys who are also customers of the NextChapter bankruptcy platform — soon to also offer an immigration platform — any leads that come through this directory can be ported over to NextChapter.

The nascent directory is still light on lawyer listings, so searches often come up nil. But that is to be expected with any new directory, until it has time to gain traction.

In order to beef up its listings, Modern Attorney is offering lawyers the ability to sign up for free through the end of the year. For those who take advantage of this offer, their listings will remain free forever, Sickmeyer said. Starting Jan. 1, the cost of a listing will be $25 a month plus a $150 initiation fee.

Sickmeyer said that her next step for the directory will be to build awareness of it among consumers. That will be the hard part, she says, given the competition among lawyer directories for prominence on Google.

Bottom Line

So do millennials need their own lawyer directory? In my opinion, any potential client of any age will benefit from a directory that offers greater transparency into lawyers’ practices, fees and technology. Modern Attorney is nicely designed, provides useful information at a glance, and makes it easy for a potential client to reach out to an attorney.

As for whether an attorney is a cat or dog person or bakes cookies, I doubt it really matters to potential clients. But there is nothing wrong with letting a little personality show through.

Given that you can currently sign up for this directory for free and then lock that in forever, seems like a lawyer looking for more clients would have nothing to lose.

from Law and Politics https://www.lawsitesblog.com/2019/11/a-different-kind-of-lawyer-directory-made-with-millennials-in-mind.html via http://www.rssmix.com/

#law #legal

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emmanuelucc · 5 years

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From the Pastor's Desk

New Post has been published on http://www.emmanuel-ucc.org/2019/06/28/from-the-pastors-desk-22/

From the Pastor's Desk

I think about it all the time. While I’m driving, praying, eating. I guess I can call it one of my little obsessions. It is the question, “How can we get more people involved in church life.

Well, understand I am not the only person on this church asking that same question. We as a whole are not the only church asking that question. As a person who needs to know the facts, I have turned to a group of researchers who have already explored these questions. They are called The Barna Group. In its 30-year history, Barna Group has conducted more than one million interviews over the course of hundreds of studies, and has become a go-to source for insights about faith and culture, leadership and vocation, and generations. Barna Group has carefully and strategically tracked the role of faith in America, developing one of the nation’s most comprehensive databases of spiritual indicators. Barna Group has worked with thousands of business, nonprofit organizations and churches across the U.S. and around the world, including many protestant denominations, Catholic parishes, and faith leaders. Some of its notable clients have included the Salvation Army, World Vision, Compassion, the American Bible Society, and Habitat for Humanity. It has also served mainstream business and non-profit leaders at organizations like Sony, Walden Media, Easter Seals, CARE, the ONE Campaign, the Humane Society, the Gates Foundation, and NBC Universal. The firm’s studies are frequently cited in sermons and talks, and its public opinion research is often quoted in major media outlets such as CNN, USA Today, The Wall Street Journal, Fox News, Chicago Tribune, Huffington Post, the New York Times, Dallas Morning News, and the Los Angeles Times.

Their research always surprises me. Here is a statistic I feel we can work with.

Millennial Non-Christians Show Greater Spiritual Curiosity Than Older Adults

Despite the growing indifference toward Christianity, especially among young people, there appears to be a spiritual curiosity among Millennials. Barna’s recent report Reviving Evangelism, shows that Millennials report many more faith conversations or even evangelistic encounters than older non-Christians. For at least some young adults, there appears to be deeper interest in spirituality in general, and in Christianity specifically. This statistic appeared as a research release in the magazine Faith and Christianity, 2019.

What is a millennial? According to the US Census Bureau, they were born between 1982 and 2000. They are the largest generation in the workforce because of their birth years. Millennials are the children of the baby boomers and are also called the Generation Y or Gen Y. They possess several qualities and characteristics different from the past generations. And although the characteristics of a millennial varies on the culture and environment, they grew up in; these are the common characteristics of millennials today.

Millennials are Often Optimistic About the Future

They Love Social Networking

They are Tech-Savvy

They Believe in Work-Life Balance (prioritizing family over work).

They are Goal-Oriented

They Want Recognition (feeling valued).

Millennials Love to Multitask

They Have an Entrepreneurial Spirit

They Like Adventures

They are Educated

I feel these are some great attributes, and I am sure you do also. As you read this list of qualities, imagine them being put to work in our modern day churches. I, along with many others in our church, are serious about considering these characteristics and putting them to work for the good of our world. Our older church folks have so much to share with this generation and they will embrace your thoughts and visions. So look out! Expect some changes at Emmanuel UCC. Changes for the good of all of us.

Yours in Christ,

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minimallypanda-blog · 6 years

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Hello World!

My name is Cliff, and I am a pretty boring guy. I am 29, and like most millennials, I have no idea of who I am. In the dictionary of life, my entry is blank. Traditionally, people would define themselves by their careers, or their hobbies. I find that neither of these is a suitable way of thinking of myself.

I work in office support, which basically means I do everything in an office no one else wants to do. And I do it for lawyers, so that's fun. It's a decent living (at least compared to what alot of my old friends from college are up to these days), but it's not fulfilling work. It covers the bills and staves off the student loan collectors, which again is more than can be said for much of my generation. It isn't glamorous, and there's not a whole lot of money in it, so I can't see defining myself by it.

In terms of hobbies, I am, as the title of the blog implies, a geek. I love all the nerdy things in life (superheroes, video gaming, etc.), but lack the encyclopedic knowledge or unrelenting passion that most would see as the separation between geeks and nerds. I'm tech savvy, but not technologically skilled.

I am what one could consider passionately curious however, in that I love learning. I'm a jack of all trades, which is what makes me good at my job really. I went to school for business, which basically means nothing and also everything, because without some form of commerce we'd still all be cavemen, although I imagine even they used some sort of barter system for furs and such even back then. But it's such a common thing, that it's about as valued amongst businesses as an arts degree.

I like to read, but don't do nearly enough of it. In my middle and high school days, I wrote fan fiction. I have notebooks upon notebooks of poorly written, trope-ridden tangles of nonsense based in anything from The Legend of Zelda to Digimon (weird as it may be, this one's still probably my favorite) to the X-Men. Suffice it to say, my original fiction has always been derivative at best and downright blatant copycat at worst. Despite all that, I still feel compelled to write. One day I could still publish the great fantasy novel of my dreams, but fiction isn't what I am drawn to write right now. Real life is stranger than fiction, and if I can somehow improve my admittedly novice writing skills and capture the essence of the time we live in, then maybe, just maybe, I can make sense of it all.

I'll be completely honest here, I don't know what this is. I don't know why I decided to start a blog. Maybe I wanted some accountability in my personal struggles and journey to betterment. Maybe I see all these content creators around today that put themselves out there, and the anxiety-ridden part of me that craves social interaction is envious of them. Maybe I think that I could make a living doing this someday. Maybe I need some sort of creative outlet to scream into the void where I don't realistically believe anyone will ever listen. Or it could simply be that the point of this blog is to fill in that empty dictionary entry that bugs me so. Whatever the reason, I'm here now, and I'm going to make the best of it.

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itsandiesanchez-blog · 7 years

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Born 1976. Not Generation X.

I am 41, middle aged and getting older by the nanosecond. I’m not 21 anymore and I’m ok with that. I would be lying if I said I’d rather have wrinkles than none at all, but generally speaking, I’m alright with the advancing years and how they’ve treated me.

I am a lot of things, just.......not Generation X.

Well, let me clarify first:

Generation X was initially classified as a generation beginning in 1965 and ending in 1984 by Douglas Copeland, the so-called 13th American generation, following the Baby Boomer cohort. As it stands in that form, completely arbitrary, chronological and unyielding, I am indeed a member of Generation X. It says nothing about me other than the fact that my birth year falls into that particular segment of a series of equal, unemotional generational divides.

It was, however, a surprise to me, to find out I was indeed considered Generation X. My whole teenaged and young adult life was lived fully believing myself to be a member of Generation Y, born somewhere between 1975 and 1990. Sometime during school in the 90s, a teacher addressed us with that label, and it stuck with me ever since. By the time I was 20, I knew that Generation X was Winona Ryder and all the 80s teens that came before us and that we, the heirs to the 90s and its technological advances, were something different. It made sense to me. The older kids weren’t like us. The 80s weren’t like us. We could sense the divide and the dawn of a new era. It was upon us.

And then..... one day someone started talking about Millennials. At first I mistook it for a new generation, born after 1990, the next in line, the one that came after Generation Y. Imagine my shock to find that not only was the Millennial generation referring to people practically the same age as I was, people I worked with and hung out with, but that I was also no longer a part of their gang. Suddenly I was Generation X. Not just stalwart 1965-1984 Generation X (which I would have accepted), no - 1965-1981 Generation X, chopped off three years before the actual 20 year divide, AS IF IT MEANT SOMETHING.

What did it allegedly mean? I couldn’t find an answer to that, except descriptions and identifiers - stereotypes - that might stick to someone born in 1970, but certainly not on me. Suddenly I was “cynical”, my idols were from the 80s, and all of my formative experiences and influences belonged to someone 10 years older than me. WTF?? 1975-1981 found itself suddenly amputated from the rest of its generation. For no logical reason.

But it gets worse.

Those of us belonging to the island of Gen Y floating in Gen X started talking about it. We noticed the discrepancies in cut off years. We saw that depending on who you talked to, we were either Millennials or Gen X. The verdict wasn’t in, regardless of what Howe and Strauss said. Oregon Trail Generation, Generation Catalano - we saw ourselves everywhere, posting, discussing, putting up a fight.

Enter Xennials.

Yes, I thought. Finally.

And then I saw the cut-off years.

1977-1983

FUUUUUUUUCK NO.

As a 1976er, there is no difference, absolutely none, between me and anyone born during the 1977 to 1983 time frame. In fact, I share more with ANYONE born between 1975 and 1990 than I do with a single person born in the 60s or early 70s. We can argue about years like 1974 or 1973, but trust me, in all my 41 ancient years here on the planet, living in four different countries, I have not ONCE met someone born in 1965 or 1970 that shares my childhood and youth experiences. Let this be known once and for fucking all, because I am sick and tired of explaining it.

Why?

1. 80s pop culture and music.

Duh. I don’t really remember the 80s, aside from toys, the first video games and cartoon t-shirts. The 80s were vastly different on a pop culture level from the 90s and I was on the bench in the haze of childhood. Gen Xers had AIDS, world hunger and music and films that I only watched and listened to retrospectively out of curiosity much later on. Anyone who wasn’t a youth during the 80s (at least 15–24) would not have been fully part of that culture.

2. The Cold War:

When the Berlin Wall fell, I was obsessed with the Little Mermaid. Does my voice sound like Ariel’s? How do you like my Ariel drawing? I couldn’t give two darns about politics in 1989 and really don’t remember the feeling of the environment that preceded it. I came of age during the age of Middle Eastern wars, starting with Iraq, continuing with Iraq and leading up to 9/11. I wasn’t old enough to vote for Reagan or Bush — I am Clinton era all the way. Again, if you weren’t at least 15 before the Cold War started crumbling, you probably don’t have much to say about it.

3. Technology: Now, I am not saying Gen Xers are not tech savvy, but give me a handful of people born in the 60s or early 70s and you’ll find quite a few people who pride themselves in the fact that THEY survived a good chunk of adulthood without the internet, that THEY can live without their phones. You know the memes. I was a teenager when I first got internet and I don’t know what real life is like without it unless you’re talking about My Little Pony and She-Ra. Smart phones were second nature to me and yes, I have my face glued to my phone whenever I am not asleep. I came of age during the whole 90s tech boom and it helped make me who I am.

4. The whole latchkey running wild thing: Technically, the latchkey era didn’t end until the mid-90s and by the time I was a kid, only irresponsible parents let their kids run around like free range chickens. We were the post-Adam Walsh, milk carton era and parents were worried. Contrary to popular belief, kids STILL play outside and of course, so did we, but we did not “run out of the house in the morning and come back when the streelights came on”. Oh no. My parents wanted to see me in the yard at all times and actually gave me a physical boundary that I was not allowed to pass (our yard ditch). Friends had to be approved and parents had to be contacted for any kind of visit or playdate. New children and families had to pass the parental supervision test — I was not allowed to roam free with kids whose parents were not home or just randomly pop by someone’s house unannounced. The shift was already there in the 80s — the freedom 60s and 70s kids had was gone. Oh yes, you’ll find a few of these kids (born anywhere in the late 70s and 80s) from divorced homes engaging in the same romantic nostalgia right alongside the Xers and Boomers, but seriously, the times were gone. Although I never read it myself at the time, my parents had IT, thank you very much. They had Wayne Williams, Clifford Olsen, Randy Kraft and John Wayne Gacy. My life at 10 was no 60s Disney live action film. And yes, we loved to stay inside and play video games. Atari, Nintendo, Sega…… those were the days.

5. The pessimism/anti-Baby Boomer thing: What???? I mean seriously, whaaat??? I can’t even write about that because I don’t understand it. Hippy was not a slur to me, in fact, we were very much into that sort of thing during the later 90s. I am not a pessimist, or a cynic or a slacker and I didn’t hate my parents or thought disappointing them was “cool”. I am STILL worried what they think and I’m over 40. I know that’s just me, but again, this particular Gen X attitude was one we always associated with either dysfunctional kids or… older kids. Yep. Older kids. Real Gen Xers. We were actually kind of enemies at the time. I recall “so 80s” (accompanied by a sneer) as a thing. It always seemed to me like they were still desperately trying to recapture the 50s cool during the 90s with a giant big hair, mullet fail.

6. The absurdity of the cut off lines and criteria for these so called “generations”. Who cares if I was born one year before the first Star Wars? Really? WHY? Does the fact that I was born the year Steve Jobs founded Apple count for less? Also, who cares if I can remember Nirvana? How does that negate almost complete comtemporary ignorance (and indulgance) of major 80s bands? I mean, let’s face it: the only reason I know what Depeche Mode is, is because of songs they produced in the 90s…….but then again, wait, maybe it wasn’t Depeche Mode…..Dire Straights perhaps….. or Duran Duran? I have to Google every time. Please don’t hold it against me. At the time in question, I was too busy pretending to be Jem and the Holograms. And grunge…..the one Gen X thing that actually occurred during at least a brief moment of my formative youth, well — Kurt Cobain was dead by the time I started going to concerts. While admittedly being a real common denominator between me and Gen X, grunge was just a fledgling spark at the dawn of budding musical tastes. Bluntly speaking, I am more Backstreet Boys, Spice Girls, Weezer, Blink182 and Linkin Park. It’s hardly enough to completely reclassify me and ignore the rest.

None of these cut offs are a strong argument, folks. You might as well say that “you are an Xennial” if you were the same age as one of the actors on That 70s show playing Eric and his friends. Which, incidentally, includes anyone born from 1983 back to……you guessed it: 1976.

Yes, some kids born anywhere during the late 70s or early 80s will have had older siblings or friends that influenced them with all things Gen X, just like I know 90s kids today that know more about Gen X culture than I do due to their Gen X parents. There’s also these pesky socio-economic aspects that play a role — I’ve met ’00s babies down here in the rural south that still don’t have a smart phone or their own computer. That aspect can be quite arbitrary.

I have real Gen X friends. I have Millennial friends. And while I won’t claim to be like anyone born in 1994, I have vastly more in common culturally with my 80s born Millennial friends than I do with my 60s, very early 70s born Gen Xer buddies. In fact, the latter group tends to freely associate with early 60s born “Baby Boomers” as if they are part of the same generation, as their “remember whens” seem to be in tune with each other. There is a generation gap between us that is every bit as tangible as the one that exists between anyone born throughout most of the 90s and I. As adults, it is enjoyable now, this funny little rift — certainly food for plenty of mutual teasing, but it is real. It exists.

The times just moved too quickly in the 90s. Politically, culturally, technologically - those of us who experienced our formative years during the 90s and early 2000s are hard to classify, I get that. But....The least anyone can do is keep us together.

So stop. I repeat: STOP cutting me off from my generation and shoving me into a group that doesn’t share my experiences. If you want to be fair, keep the clean 20 year cut off — 1965–1984 for Gen X, so that I can at least be grouped with a good decade of people I can identify with. If you’re going to start chopping things up, be a little more meaningful. Might I suggest: Gen X 1960–1974? I have yet to meet a person born in 1974 that identifies as a Millennial or “in between generations”. Not to mention the nifty fact that grunge was almost exclusively produced by this demographic, a demographic which also includes many teen idols of the 80s.

Why does it matter? Well, people do ask — are you a Millennial or Gen X. And even Xennial. I kid you not! Can you imagine how much it blows to have to classify yourself as something you are NOT, suddenly stereotyped with qualities you don’t have, lumped into a category that makes you feel like oil in water, sitting there, suffocating under a label that doesn’t belong to you, while the rest of your people are bonding safely in the 1977 and beyond zone? The isolation is real.

SO STOP.

#generationx #generation x #xennial #oregontrailgeneration #millennials #generationy #generation y #generations #generation catalano

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obsessivesarcasticgayliving · 7 years

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I’m Confused

There are links to ao3 (it links to the same fic at least) in a fic I wrote for #Danverssistersweek that I didn’t add to the fic. How did they get there? I’m sorry if it’s annoying. Also, if someone knows how that happened please tell me... I’m not the tech savvy millennial people think I am. Also if I had put the links in the fic posted on Tumblr I would have only put like one. but there are several.

#danverssistersweek #help me #why is my computer doing things on its own?#i suck at technology #sorry

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inneedofaheronow · 8 years

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Filter Bubble

For my assignment, I was told to find someone in my family who has different thoughts and opinions from my own. I interviewed my grandma who was born in 1944, so her views and opinions are a lot different than mines but also similar in the some ways. A little background on my grandma is that she was born in May 1944 in Kansas City, KS to parents who had a very big age difference, there is at least a 20 year difference between her parents but no one really knows how old her father because he had an confrontation with a white man, thought he killed him and had to leave behind his wife and children fleeing to Kansas from the South where he met my great grandmother and had two children. My grandma didn’t have much of a childhood because she had to take care of her grandmother and being married with children at 17. She also lost her brother, father and mother all in the same year leaving her with basically no support system so her views are definitely different from mines. My grandmother growing up in the 40s and 50s could probably care less about the things going on in this world like LGBTQ rights and everyone being able to love who they want no matter their gender or ethnicity. I personally think of myself as a pansexual where I don’t fall for race, ethnicity nor gender I fall for the person for their personality. My grandma mainly cares about the black culture and focuses on her culture while I like to expand my horizon and learn about many different cultures. I grew up with a lot of diversity and I am still learning it as I am in my second year of college. My grandma went to a predominately black school growing up and she didn’t even get to finish school nor go to college so our perspectives and knowledge is also different. My grandmother being born in the early 40s so she is considered a part of the silent generation so some characteristics about them are, “Waste not want not attitude, Conformity, Conservatism, Traditional family values, Strive for comfort, Demand quality, Simplicity, Understands the nobility of sacrifice for the common good, Patriotic, Patience, Team players”(Missouri.edu). Me being born in 1997, I am a part of the Y generation and we “grew up with technology, so being connected and tech savvy is in their DNA. Equipped with latest technology and gadgets, such as iPhones, laptops and lately tablets, Generation Y is online and connected 24/7, 365 days a year. Many Millennials grew up seeing their Baby Boomer parents working day and night doing stressful corporate jobs, which has shaped their own views on the workforce and the need for work-life balance” (Talented Heads). So using both of our computers to browsing the web, I seen that if I search google on my laptop there is a lot of different thing from computer science stuff to fifth harmony stuff to clothing stores. If you look at my grandmothers you see news stuff mainly with some bill companies and clothing stores. My grandma isn’t very tech savvy and doesn’t use to the internet much so there isn’t much in search engine as me who uses my laptop every available second of the day. But if you do private search, and go to something like YouTube, it would basically be the same because the laptop wouldn’t know if it’s her or me and it would have common videos and videos that are popular to anyone now a days. If my grandma doesn’t like something, she may use the feedback which “asks the goal, error and the response”(Hillis 121), to complain because she’s not afraid to in order to get what she wants while I’m more laid back and probably won’t say anything no matter how I feel. Chapter 8 in The Pattern in the Stone talks about how people are adapting to computers and vice versa. I feel that my grandma is definitely one of those people who had to adapt to it because she didn’t have computers and her own phone growing up. They barely had a TV and even had to bathe in their living room without hot water.

Common, E. Silent Generation / Traditionalists (born before 1946) (n.d.): n. pag. Web. Mar.-Apr. 2017. Generation X, Generation Y, Generation Z, and the Baby Boomers." Talented Heads. N.p., 16 Dec. 2016. Web. 13 Mar. 2017. Hillis, W. Daniel. The Pattern on the Stone: The Simple Ideas That Make Computers Work. New York: Basic, 2015. Print

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ouraidengray4 · 8 years

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6 Questions Everyone Should Ask While Searching for a Therapist

Finding a new therapist can feel like going on a series of bad first dates, especially if the mental health care professionals you try out to start are nowhere near a good fit. During my journey, I turned to friends who had similar experiences, and I learned that I wasn't the only one who was struggling to find a match for mental health maintenance. So don't feel bad or give up if you haven't found your doctor yet. As a 30-year-old woman, it took me over two years to find "The One."

1. Are they tech savvy?

Ok, so this is still up for debate in a lot of psychiatric circles, as some professionals claim that texting with your shrink can negatively impact professional boundaries. But these days, quick-hit communication is part of life. Personally, I have terrible social anxiety and hate phone calls outside of a work setting, so having to actually call my doctor would just increase my anxiety, which isn't exactly the point of communicating with a therapist. For me—and most other millennials—our primary means of communication is via text or email. So if you're addicted to Snapchat and your doctor is from the Stone Age, it's probably not going to fly.

2. Does their expertise match with my needs?

For me, finding a doctor who was "culturally competent" was a must. This meant that when a black girl walked in their office, they wouldn't treat me like some far-out creature. Other folks I've talked with were adamant that the therapist they selected focused on PTSD. Not everyone in the field is equipped to deal with trauma... which can actually lead to more trauma.

3. Are they the right fit emotionally?

After two years of searching—and a number of encounters with therapists who couldn't really identify with my issues—I finally found a therapist I was optimistic about. But once I actually found them, getting to therapy induced an entire new set of new anxieties. Would they think I was unstable and toss me away into an asylum if I was upfront and honest about all of my irrational fears? Any therapist worth their salt will make you feel comfortable and let you know it's OK to open up.