#but I don't have the energy or the will rn and I need to be shaken and forced to rest.

[thekittyokat]

you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah

[iceclew]

Did I accidently write more than just a few lines of dialogue for this scene?... *shyly fumbling with fingers* 🥹👉👈 maybe...

Sorry, I suck at words and this isn't betaread nor properly proofread and I am not native english, I'm very sorry in advance...

full story down below

(Chappel Roan - Love me Anyway)

(Benson Boone - Slow it Down)

"VICE-CAPTAIN!!!!"

The tiny moving plush-like thing in his hand apparently started screaming as well now.

"WHY ALWAYS MEEE!?!?"

What looked like the chibi mini-version of the Defence Force's biggest trump card, struggled to hold on his thumb, kicking around those little feet of his.

"Well, now I'm quite curious abut THAT story..."

"I CAN'T TURN BACK AND I AM T I N Y !!! (˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )"

"I see that... How'd you even get in here?"

Tiny #8 stopped fidgeting a bit. Instead two unproportionally big round dark eyes goggled at him. It was undeniably adorable to look at. "Well after THIS happened, I couldn't grab my phone on the table anymore, so I ran around to find someone, but I figured Narumi and Kikoru would very likely take advantage of my situation and do something stupid with me."

"Oh yeah, they definitely would and I get why, honestly."

"So I ran around to find you, YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW BIG THE 1st DIVISION IS, WHEN YOU'RE LIKE THIS, OK?! And then I saw the slightly opened window and just crawled in... ༼☯﹏☯༽"

"Wait... you know where my temporary place in the 1st Division is located? Why?"

"....Coincidence? (*ﾟｰﾟ) "

He sighed. "Well just when you think you saw everything...Kafka Hibino enters the stage..."

"SIR, WHAT SHOULD I DO?? WHY ARE THESE THINGS ALWAYS HAPPENING TO ME??"

"you really want me to answer that, bud?", he barely tried to hide the undertone of his voice, which left the small creature on the palm of his hand baffled for a second.

"Wha-? HEY, MEAN!! What are you on about!?"（＞д＜）

"Yeah, maybe, I don't know STOP CHANGING in general, like I told you f.ex.. or maybe stick to your training routine without going OVERBOARD on a regular basis? How 'bout that?"

The big dark round eyes got even bigger with every word spoken.

"Yeah, don't look at me like that, I might coincidently got wind of stuff, you know?"

His unexpectedly open and emotional response threw Kafka off. For a second he forgot about his *tiny* main problem, his mind jumped between confused and worried and he couldn't comprehend with his reaction for now. After some awkward seconds in silence, Hoshina's tone grew significantly calmer, but still sort of off to his usual self-assured expression. "Well at least this time you're actually telling me about stuff that bothers you, huh?"

Silence again. While hanging from the palm of his Vice-Captain's hand Kafka realized something (besides his size) was different. His senses grew more aware of his surroundings to find answers.

"Are... are you drunk, sir?"

Besides the slight scent of alcohol in the air, and the - well quite obvious - bottle of sake on the table, the startled twitch on his face confirmed Kafka's guess was right. Other than the sake the only other thing on the table were some snacks. Another odd thing to Kafka, who was used to see Hoshina's surroundings stuffed with documents, loose papers, books and other work related things.

The silence lingered around them uncomfortably. To Kafka's suprise Hoshina was seemingly struggling with words. A look on his face Kafka couldn't remember seeing before. Now his mind definitely jumped to 'worried'.

Hoshina tried to mimic an insulted face and looked away. "A little tippsy at most... I'm off-duty for tonight.." Besides the slightly blushed nose and cheeks, Kafka now noticed some dark circles under red eyes. "..and despite my gut telling me better, I assumed I probably won't be needed anymore today, and that I could hang loose a little. It's not my Division after all, there's another Captain and Vice-Captain in charge here. So I might as well make use of that chance... Should have known, it would end up that way or another.. " He smiled a bit and Kafkas felt like his heart clenching from the sight. "Although I definitely should have placed my bet on YOU to be the reason for that." He chuckled lightly, while his expressions grew somewhat softer.

"I'm sorry, Sir."

"Nah, it's fine. As if I didn't get used to your-"

"I never put much thought to it, but ever since the Defence Force started preparing for the big counter attack on #9 your workload must've at least doubled in the 3rd and 1st Division.. and here I am still taking over the rest of your time as well..."

"Don't like where this is going, officer... You're not starting pitying me, are ya?"

"No I-...I just feel like.. I didn't realize, and there for not appreciated your work enough.." Silence. "And also.." The tiny kaiju had his look glued to the floor in front of him for a while now. "I know you told me to brush it off earlier but,... I truly regret ... not telling you about... #8 n'stuff.. I'm sorry... I'd change that if I could.."

A small plushy-sized Kaiju was gently put back on the ground again. Hoshina scratched his nose for a second, before bending far back to the other side of the room. He grabbed for his smartphone that was burried in piles of carelessly pushed aside documents.

"As I said. You're here now, aren't ya?" When he got his phone he chose to stay laid down on the floor and started typing something on the lightened screen.

A tiny transformed Kafka carefully made his way around and walked up on eye-level with Hoshina's face again. Once again overwhelmed by his current state of being, he let himself fall back on the floor and sat on the ground. "So... what should I do?"

"The first thing WE do is trying to make some calls. But since you seem to be in no life-threatening condition, we might have to wait 'till tomorrow for a first medical examination. If that's the case you'll stay, and I get you down to the lab first thing in the morning."

"Wait!" The tiny Kaiju made a suprisingly far jump right up to Hoshina's chest and pressed the (for him very big) red hang-up button on the screen with both paws. "You're right about that, I won't die this second from being tiny, so we might as well wait for tomorrow."

The questioning look on the opposite's face made a tiny Kafka look away and scratch his neck shyly. "Well, since you're ... I dunno,... I feel like, I can't have you be seen d-dru- .. like this by other officials of the 1st Division, b-because of me..."

A finger poked his forehead, which caused a tiny being like him to fall right back landing on warm soft fabric of Hoshina's shirt.

"Idiot. But you might be right about that."

[wildflowercryptid]

i'll probably add on more details to these edits later, but here's how mjverse florian ( florian russel cavallari ) & juliana ( juliana sigal cavallari ) would look at the start of their journey!

— free to use & edit w/ credit!

[abyssalhuntersnerd]

It's that time of the year again where I put the fish and Amiya in the washing machine...

[yeonban]

SO! Long time coming updates but here's how I'll roll from now on to hopefully avoid stressing myself out with big numbers all over again:

On Tumblr. 𓂅 01. I'm going to softblock everyone who hasn't attempted to interact ic with me since 2024 started! Huge numbers stress me out and as much as I adore reading you guys' portrayals, I unfortunately think my mental health will thrive more if I keep my dash solely to the people I actively write with. I'll start sbing people this Monday, so if you want to write with me you have until then to shoot me an ic ask or tag me in a starter or what have you! If you don't and I sb though, you're free to refollow whenever our muses mesh better and you think we'll write together, absolutely no hard feelings involved! Maybe we can't come up with any interesting ideas for our current muses and that's okay, who knows what the future holds! 𓂅 02. On the note of writing. I'm going to go through my inbox & drafts and clean out everything I don't have muse for, and then on January 2025 I might clean my inbox out entirely, which means whatever's still in there 4 months from now will likely be purged to allow me to focus better instead of constantly scrolling through hundreds of asks I can't bring my muses to reply to. Next year is going to be my last year of uni, so I'll try to declutter this blog as much as possible to help me remain active on here even while doing internships & writing my dissertation! 𓂅 03. I might delete some muses off my roster, namely those I rarely or never use, but if our muses are intertwined in any shape or form or if you ever feel like rping with them, I am willing to write them for/with you! The main reason I'll be taking them off the main roster (and maybe make a tiny list of muses I only write for certain people's portrayals so you don't think you're losing your marbles when seeing me rp muses I don't ~officially~ rp) is because I won't write them for everyone who follows me anymore. That said, if I take them off because I've temporarily lost muse for them (<-it happens sometimes), we can still talk about them/plot for them in dms! The dynamics I've built on here mean a ton to the both of us, so I'll ALWAYS be down to talk about them and help you shape your muse's main/verse lore if it includes/involves mine (i.e affiliates)! 𓂅 04. Now on my end of starting interactions, I'll begin sending people stuff more regularly! That includes prompted memes whenever I see any that fit the bill even if it means sending 30 memes in a row (you NEVER have to reply to all, or even any, if you're not feeling them so please don't feel pressured to! I just want to give people options to pick from if they ever feel a lot of inspo for a particular muse/verse/dynamic), unprompted memes if I happen to come up with scenarios that I'd like to explore (again no pressure to reply to them!) and random starters if I think the ideas I have would do better as threads than one-off interactions (these will probs only happen if we've plotted and I know for a fact that you're alright w the ideas I'm presenting, so expect me to manifest into your dms before I write any random starters!). I'll make sure to ask this of every one of you individually, but for those who are alright with it, I'll also start tagging you in things that remind me of our muses' dynamic, and/or (depending on what you're comfy with) have my muse talk about your muse in my interactions w others!

On Discord. 𓂅 01. I'll be deleting the people I haven't talked to in ages and/or who show no interest in talking to me! Talking includes both chatting/rambling and plotting, so if you want to escape The Purge you can shoot me a message with a cat video or a plot idea or whatever else's on your mind at the time! I know there are a few people I haven't replied to yet so dw you guys are NOT getting deleted by any meansdajsdh I promise I'll get to every single dm I owe before uni starts and then make a regular effort to respond in time to everyone! I just don't see a reason to keep hundreds of people on discord when I talk to maybe 20 on a good year. 𓂅 02. This isn't going to just be an one-way effort from your part! I'll make sure to pop into your dms on a constant basis too, from the moment the purge ends!

[happyk44]

actually annabeth joining luke's army as a double agent for chb but percy doesn't know this so he just thinks alright and grabs grover and hooks it over there bc annabeth does what she wants and he knows there's no convincing her otherwise bc she's a stubborn ass and also ares fucking sucks so as far as percy's concerned the gods can suck it based on that alone

grover is just ??? bc he does NOT want to be over here and percy's just like "look, we can't convince annabeth to not be part of monster army, so the only option is to be part of it ourselves" and annabeth walks in on them trying to join (or rather percy trying to join for both of them and grover looking on the verge of tears) and she's just ??? bc what the fuck percy why are you two here

whole time percy is going on a rant about ares and how he sucks and how he's pretty sure the god has abused clarisse ("maybe we should get clarisse to sign up with us") because no one believes that he wants to join luke's army and they just thinkk he wants to spy on them so he's trying to show that he thinks gods (well at least one god) is a total ass and can get obliterated and percy will be happy to do that bc he did it once before, he can totally do it again! and if they get clarisse she can deliver the final blow as an FU

someone asks why grover's there and percy is like "um. he's my best friend? he has to come with me? what, you think I'm gonna fucking fight my best friend? are you stupid?"

meanwhile grover is having the worst panic attack of his life. like why is this how he discovers percy has no morals. couldn't it be something smaller like putting french fries in a strawberry milkshake?

and annabeth is resisting the urge to start screaming and now she's gotta vouch for percy and her vouch for percy is basically "if it came to saving me and grover or a bus full of people about to plunge into the atlantic, percy would save us, no hesitation" and everyone's like "jesus christ, the hell is wrong with this kid" because like maybe they're on the side of a cannibalistic titan but they're not fucking evil

ofc once they're let into the group, annabeth drags them both to the side and wrings percy a new one for fucking up her double agent plans and they're both whisper-arguing bc it's not his fault he didn't know she didn't really shack up with the enemy, but like fuck off percy, you didn't have to follow me here! why the hell would you choose to come here, were you going to try and kidnap me and bring me back to camp by force??

and percy is just like "yes that is 100% what i was going to do, i was definitely not joining with the intent to be by your side and blow up olympus because i'd rather destroy the world than fight my friend" and grover turns to annabeth and is just "he's fucking lying" "yeah i know"

anyway grover is released as a double agent for the monster army (but actually for CHB) bc the idea is that he can help them get more demigods to their side as a searcher being sent out to grab kids and he's mentally banging his head bc NOW he has to figure out how to get unclaimed demigods safely to camp without making it look like he took them there on purpose and if it looks like he defected back to CHB, they'll probably kill annabeth and maim or imprison percy and good gods, percy i hate you so much rn

percy? idk. it's past summer so he just goes home and luke is like "bro you can't just fucking leave" "um no offense luke but if you try to stop me from going home to my mom who i love more than life itself i will legit eat you" and then he goes home

come december, grover is calling percy up like "hey i found these fucking powerful ass kids, plz help me get them to camp without making it look like i got them there on purpose" and so they gotta loop annabeth in who's just mentally banging her head and cursing percy out over this whole thing as she strategizes a way to get the army there but have them fuck up so badly it would look super suspicious if grover just shoved them over

so first she yells at percy then she makes grover call thalia up so she can help him and it'll be okay 'cause she's in the same area as him so it won't look suspicious, it'll just seem like camp sent her in with him, like they do sometimes when there's dangerous monsters that a satyr might not be able to handle by themselves.

and then she makes percy go with them as support for grover's "nefarious" deeds since thalia's there. and it's a whole fucking thing, and mentally she's just like "oh thank fuck" when artemis and the hunters show up.

they retreat back to wherever the monster army was at this time (not the boat, but like idk. atlas' post? were they all chilling there or was it just luke and some ppl being assholes and everyone else was still on the boat, i can't remember) and curse their loss of two powerful and clueless demigods, only for percy to call annabeth up a couple hours later like "hey, remember those kids from a couple hours ago with the manticore and the hunters and everything"

"percy it was two hours ago, ofc i remember it, my memory isn't as shit as yours" "right right, you're elephant" "oh my- why are you calling me!!" "oh yeah. uh. well. they're kinda in my house" "what??" "yeah they're sitting right across from me. my mom's giving them some hot chocolate."

"how the hell?"

"i have no clue. they also have no clue. they just, uh, didn't feel safe at camp, bc grover was being weird about trying to save them. which, um, yeah, makes sense. and they don't like thalia because her spear scares them 'cause they don't like lightning. and also the girl said the hunters keep trying to convince her to join them which is freaking her out, so they didn't want to stay at camp. and then suddenly they were in my house."

"..."

"what do i do?"

this time annabeth bangs her head physically on the closest wall. and somewhere in the fine forests of new york, grover is banging his head on the nearest tree, both of them unified in their feelings of "for fucks sake percy i hate you so much rn"

[whatthefuckisasweep]

sighing and putting my head in my hands and crying and throwing up as i think about stanley uris and how he was the most terrified loser.

how he was deathly scared of being dirty, of not knowing where he was, of not being able to predict the world around him. how he was more scared of his world order being offended than anything else. how knowing that pennywise is real sent him down this spiral of 'what else can be real' and it broke him. but he STILL was the one who cut everyone's hand and made the oath. how bill constantly reminds him of his bird book and how it saved him. how he is more mentally fragile than eddie. how he's one of the only Losers who ever says "i can't do this", but he still gets to his feet and makes jokes right after he cries. stan uris, who, after Mike is like, "i just saw a killer bird!" goes, "what kind of bird?"

thinking about how we really don't know how his death went down so we don't know what he was thinking in those last moments. how he threw away his whole picturesque life because of a promise he made, and because he couldn't honor it. how he's such a private person, a quiet one, but he's so so so sharp and graceful. i wish they showed more of his fear in the movies, how much it fucked him up in the end.

stanley uris i think about you a lot.

[babacontainsmultitudes]

80 or so years of life really ain't enough can I have an elf lifespan instead please? Or at least a dwarf's... I need at least a couple hundred years... Oh and a new spine every 5 or so years, if that's not too much to ask. 3. 3 years actually. Yeah, a new spine every 2 years, and a lifespan of 350-750 years, that's all I want really.

[angelsdean]

the thing i really want to do is make cool graphic tees. like rn if i had to pick a "job" it would be, design cool graphic tees. i'm a t-shirt girlie (gn). i love a t-shirt. i'll put anything on a t-shirt.

[suncaptor]

yeah this cannot go on i need to take something like my chest is exploding i can't calm down it's 7am i feel insane insane insaneeeee

[spaceratprodigy]

sorry for how slow and sparse I've been getting around to everyone. I'm doing my best but genuinely rn I desperately need to take care of myself instead of always putting others first.

[wildflowercryptid]

i am once again doing my part to keep the art of pokéship names alive and sharing a few more that i've had flitting about in my head recently.

kieran/ortega — yoseishipping

florian/kieran/ortega — haruhoshishipping

amarys/carmine/nemona — fruitfulheartshipping

lacey/nemona — partydressshipping

larry/peony — armorbirdshipping

[rataltouille]

an hour into using obsidian and like what do you mean this was always available and free to use AND NOBODY TOLD ME

[marblecakemix]

ok im curious about what you would make of my gender experience from the radfem lens. im a trans guy in an open relationship with another trans guy and our sexual interactions always include bdsm elements during which i am the dom, including cnc elements. so like am i evil man or innocent brainwashed girl? let me know

I'm not a good person to unpack whatever is going on with you and your mental state and your partner's mental state. But I would say that if you get off of pretend rape/sexual assault that's nothing good. If I were you, I'd look into that and ask myself why hurting someone (even if it's a play) makes me feel good and why my partner likes being abused.

I don't think you're evil just because you're a trans-identified female who likes BDSM or is innocent. You definitely need a good therapist, that's for sure. I don't know you but maybe look into internalized homophobia and sexism surrounding transgenderism, because you're in a lesbian relationship with extra steps. My advice would be to look into why you don't want to be a girl. What makes you think that being a man is a better option for you or maybe it's a way for you to run from something and never address it? No healthy human being wants to permanently change their appearance with hurtful procedures and surgery (I'm talking about taking crosssex hormones and gender-affirming/plastic surgeries).

I can only share my experience which is that I didn't want to be seen as a woman because I see the world outside of gender norms (that's why I'm a gender abolitionist) and I wanted to be seen as more than an object that makes children, is won by men, has a long hair, wears makeup and submits to the bows of society. I'm not a woman that mass media shows and no woman is. We all can be whatever we want without denying our sex and we can find beauty and be proud of being women.

I think that you need professional help, go to therapy where your views will be challenged, and get to the root of your gender dysphoria. You are not an evil man or an innocent little girl. You're (from what you wrote about yourself) a grown person who got wronged and suffers from a mental illness.

Take care and ask me more if you want. It's okay if you disagree with whatever i wrote, but please let my words simmer a little inside you and give them a thought.

[thebusytypewriter]

Thus closes another anniversary of spinning around the sun. *party favor noise*

[pinestripes]

Watched Dune Part Two tonight and my dad was like "Is that it? There's no ending?" and I had to resist screaming "NO THE STORY IS OVER, PAUL'S EMOTIONAL ARC WAS FINISHED BY GETTING REVENGE FOR HIS FATHER BY BETRAYING ALL OF HIS FATHER'S IDEALS, BY BECOMING EVERYTHING HE DID NOT WANT TO BE, BY BECOMING EVERYTHING HE PROMISED HE WOULD NOT BE," but instead I was just like "Idk, there are more books in the series, i think but idk."