#but I genuinely don’t think so I think it’s just my audio processing

[boomerang109]

yeah maybe you’re a great music fan but actually i think you should be jealous of the joy and whimsy that my audio processing issues bring into my life

[honeyhotteoks]

under his eye (lnds; sylus)

summary: sylus puts you under his thrall and takes exactly what he wants from you and your body.

note: this is my first love and deepspace fic, and definitely one of my more intense fics thematically for my regular readers who may dip into this one too. i have a few lnds ideas knocking around, so i may post more at some point. ♡

warnings: actual vampire!sylus, fem!reader, mc!reader, this is entirely smut but please mind the warnings here: heavy dubcon (there is enthusiastic consent explicit in the fic just not at first), cnc, use of thrall/mind-control, dollification, fingering, oral (f receiving), actual somno, rough sex, allusions to primal play, blood play, actual vampire behavior, orgasm denial/orgasm control, overstimulation, unprotected sex (he's a vampire tho get real), creampie, praise and shame in equal measure, a LOT of dirty talk from sylus, heavy use of pet names like good girl, sweet girl, kitten, sweetheart, darling, etc., some implied size kink with the use of 'little' but it's meant more mean teasing from him than anything, tenderness, consent talks, check-ins, aftercare, sylus literally loves her in this dw

pairings: vampire!sylus x hunter!reader

genre: smut, porn with very little plot

word count: 5.6k

for my fellow sylus fans, you can probably tell this was fully inspired by his secret times audio 'midnight warmth' - i basically hit level 35 and then went fully insane when i first heard it..... so a few lines of dialogue are borrowed from that.

It’s hard to imagine what it feels like to be in a vampire’s thrall unless you’ve experienced it before. You don’t think you’d ever be able to find the words, not properly. You’ve heard it described, in training, in books, in your own personal research, but it all pales in comparison to what it’s actually like. The slow, hypnotic build up into the haze and the sudden descent into a deeper, darker place where your mind resonates at a lower frequency, fixed on one singular sound. One voice.

Sylus. 

His rich, honeyed tone had pushed you under before you could even process it. 

You try to remember where you were before this moment, who you were, but there are only flickers. The hotel room around you is large and unfamiliar, outfitted decadently in the dark jewel tones he favors so much. The black silk sheets under your back is the only sensation you have other than the slow pulse of your own heartbeat in your ears. If you focus hard enough, you think you can remember a joke, something you quipped over your shoulder about how there must be laws in place in the N109 zone, how ‘vampire’s lair’ must be the only legal style of decor in this sector of space. 

He had laughed, a real, genuine laugh from deep in his chest before he wrapped his arms around you from behind and nuzzled into your hair. 

You don’t like being in a vampire’s lair, kitten? 

You can still hear his words, swimming around your foggy brain, his voice so low and warm in his chest. 

I thought you liked being my pretty paramour. 

Sylus’s hands had wandered, playing with the buckles of your hunter’s leathers and letting his fingertips ghost over your collarbones, up your throat, and pass gently over your lips before stepping back and away from you entirely. You felt strange from that moment on, disquieted. 

You made excuses in your own mind for how you were feeling, weeks of investigations and sleepless nights, that’s why your body felt like it was dragging itself through butter just trying to eat dinner. 

You apologized, you wouldn’t have called him if you had realized just how tired you were.

But he just smiled at you, appraising you with his sharp red eyes in that way he often does, nodding along to your staggered attempts at conversation. 

You realized what he was doing in the last split second before your mind became his. 

His gaze turned darker, searing into you, and with one word you felt the world drop out from underneath you. 

Sleep. 

You don’t remember how you ended up on the bed. 

Now your head is swimming as you try harder and harder to focus your mind and recall the little details.

“Stop resisting, darling,” Sylus murmurs, and you feel the mattress dip. 

You can’t respond, you can’t even really move, and a nervous panic starts to work its way up your spine.

Sylus sits on the edge of the bed, close enough to you now that you can see him in your vacant line of vision, and he nods, “Just relax,” 

Your muscles soften. 

“Let’s get you more comfortable, shall we?” Sylus leans closer, his fingers tugging at the buckles and straps of your clothes. 

You watch as he meticulously undresses you, peeling away layers of your uniform, a satisfied groan whispered from his lips as he parts open your blouse, another when he does away with your tight leather pants. All the while, you’re boneless, trapped by his last command and fully at his mercy. The Hunter’s Academy never prepared you for this. 

“You really are a pretty thing,” Sylus hums, his cool hand drifting up and down your body from the base of your bra to the top of your underwear, “so soft,” 

Nerves pulse through you again, your body twitching under his hands. 

“Shh,” He soothes, “it’s only me, relax,” 

Your muscles melt further, any lingering tension bleeding out of your body at his words, your head rocking softly to one side, your cheek against the silk pillowcase. 

“That’s a good girl,” 

You sigh, a sudden needy tug deep in your belly at his words. 

“Mm,” His hand drifts higher, dancing over your chest and passing over your breasts, the rough drag of your cloth bra against your nipple pulling a tiny whine from your lips. 

He chuckles softly, repeating his motions and you whine again. 

“How lovely and responsive you are,” Sylus says, pulling the fabric of your bra down until it catches under the swell of your breasts, “what other little noises can I pull out of you, kitten?” 

He rolls a thumb over your nipple, drawing it up to a tight, almost painful peak, and you whimper at the flood of sensation through your chest and down your abdomen. 

“And this?” He pinches, a tug that leaves you involuntarily jerking. 

“And here?” You can’t see him with the way your head is turned, but you feel his fingers ghost over the hem of your panties and you suck in a sharp breath. 

He adjusts one of your legs, opening it up at the knee to widen his access, and then he presses two fingers a little more firmly at the top of your cunt, expertly locating your clit through your panties and applying steady pressure. 

You moan softly and you hear him release a tight exhale. 

“My,” He lets his fingers slip down, pushing lightly against your slit, “are you wet already?” 

You know you are, your body responding naturally to his voice, to his tender touch. 

“I asked you a question, sweetheart,” Sylus leans over you, his breath against your cheek, “when I ask you a question, I’d like a response.” 

Your heart is fluttering, a thunderously fast pounding in your chest. 

His fingers hook under your chin and draw your gaze up, and gently he pushes the hair away from your face as he regards you, his dark eyes full of mirth and a little half smile on his lips. He nods at you, pleased as if you had turned your own head, “Now,” he says, “I asked if you’re wet already?” 

Your knotted up tongue loosens instantly at the question, “Yes,” 

“Good girl,” He coos, leaning over you to press his cool lips to yours. 

You can’t kiss him back, he hasn't told you if you’re allowed to move, but he peppers you with kisses until you feel his fingers slide under the hem of your panties. 

You gasp under him, heat pooling in your belly. 

Sylus dips his fingers into the dripping slickness of your cunt and groans into your ear, “You like this,” he nips at your earlobe, “you’re a mess between your thighs for me, aren’t you?” 

“Yes,” The word slips out, your voice breathy and taut.

  “My pretty little hunter,” He slides his fingers up to your swelling clit and circles his fingers, “does that feel good?” 

You moan a little, his fingers pressing more firmly as he circles, “Yes, Sylus,” 

“Spread out for me,” He presses his head against your temple and turns so he can watch your body twitching as he works his fingers over you, “Wet for me,” 

A hot rush spreads up through your body.

You shouldn’t like this. You shouldn’t want this. But you asked for this, a confession of your fantasies whispered between the sheets at his apartment, and he peeled them apart one by one, teasing you with questions and collecting his information, strumming you to orgasm after orgasm all the while.

You just didn’t know it would be today, weeks and weeks went by without so much as an innuendo. The sudden onset of his thrall and his control over your body shouldn’t be this alluring, but it is. You can’t move, you can’t speak unless he allows you, but every touch of his skin on yours has you ready to throw every instinct out the window because you’re pretty sure you’re wetter than you’ve ever been. 

His fingers speed up and your hips buck just a little into the sensation.

  “Dirty girl,” He hums, “you like the way this feels, you like that you can’t move,” 

He twists your dark desires back around on you, a flutter of shame in your chest at the truth of it. 

He explores your cunt with his fingers, toying with you and gathering more wetness to torture your clit with, “You like being helpless, completely in my hands,” he goads you as he works your body up to release, “unable to stop me, or tell me no,” 

Your core throbs, every inch of your body a live wire, shame twisting into a tight knot of need in your belly. 

  “Don’t you?” 

You gasp as he pushes two fingers deep inside you, “Yes, yes!”

”Are you close, kitten?” He purrs in your ear, thrusting his fingers hard and fast, his knuckles rhythmically connecting with your clit. 

  “Yes,” You whine, your body trembling.

  “That’s too bad,” He pulls his hand free and lets your underwear snap back into place. 

If you could move you’d be a whining mess, throwing yourself at him and begging for him to finish the job, but you can’t. He’s stolen your orgasm right out from under you and you can’t even ask him to finish the job. 

“Hmm,” He stands, and you hear the sound of his shirt dropping to the floor, “does it hurt?” 

“Yes,” You manage. 

“Poor baby,” He teases, mocking your little sob, and his thumbs hook under the sides of your panties to yank them roughly off your body, “should I kiss it and make it better?” 

“Please,” 

He drops back down to the bed, this time sliding in between your thighs, and when he speaks again you feel his cool breath whisper across your throbbing center, “Ask nicely,” 

Your voice is shaky when you finally find the words, “Please, Sylus will you touch me?” 

“Touch you where?” 

You whimper, the slightest involuntary jerk of your hips pulling a chuckle from his lips. 

“I said,” He reminds you, “touch you where?” 

“M-my clit,” You beg, “my pussy, please,” 

“Was that so hard?” You can practically see him smiling. 

You open your mouth, ready to respond, but his mouth closes over your clit and all thought and reason you had left disappear. He’s going to ruin you for any other man, you know it. 

Sylus hums, pushing your limp legs painfully wide and laps at your center. There’s no teasing left in him, no gentle licks and featherlight brushes of fingertips, there’s just him, needing to feel you come just as badly as you do. 

The knot in your gut is back with a vengeance, and every impulse in your body is to squirm away from his mouth and let him drag you back down, but you can’t. Sylus takes and takes and you have no choice but to let him. 

When he lifts his mouth to take a quick breath he gives you another command, “Watch me,” 

The tether between you draws your gaze down, and you gasp at the sight of him. He’s shirtless, his broad hands holding open your trembling thighs, and he eats at you like you’re a meal. Your breath comes quicker, blush lighting up your chest. 

“You taste so sweet here,” He groans, barely lifting his mouth, his tongue carving a line up from your entrance to your sensitive bud and you choke out a breathy moan. 

He knows you’re about to come before you do, and you see him smile into your wet heat before he shifts focus, lips closing over your clit and sucking hard, his hand sliding to push two fingers back inside and crook them just right. Within a few sharp pumps of his wrist and a steady flick of his tongue you’re moaning sharply, your release snapping in your belly so hard you see stars. 

You can’t move on your own, but your body crackles apart in rhapsodic shakes and he carries you through the crest of your orgasm with lazy licks. 

“Beautiful,” He murmurs, and you feel the sharp pin prick of pain at your inner thigh. He licks you there too, taking just a little taste from the vein, and then sighs pleasantly and squeezes your thigh. 

He kisses you here once, and then pulls himself up, arranging your legs back down before sliding next to you in the sheets and tugging you close to his chest. 

You rock into him, your body spent and boneless, unable to move to wrap your arms around him or press kisses to his chest. Instead you just are, and he pulls your body up until you’re in the perfect spot in his arms. He tucks his cheek against yours and palms your backside. 

“When you wake,” Sylus whispers low, “it will be on my cock.” 

You shiver, your core pulsing again. 

“And you’ll stay nice and soft and wet for me,” He kisses the hollow of your ear, “my sweet doll,” 

Your eyes start to grow heavy, your head lolling into his shoulder. 

“You’ll let me have my wicked way with your sweet cunt,” His hands flex tightly on your skin, like he’s restraining himself from taking you now, “and when you’re close, right on the edge of coming, you’ll tell me, do you understand?”

  “I understand,” Your words sound lazy, malformed in your cotton mouth but you answer him nonetheless.

“Good,” He murmurs, “and when you come, your hot pussy squeezing my cock, my thrall will end.” 

A hazy question forms in your mind, but you’re so foggy now. 

“But until then,” he sighs, his hands relaxing and his voice softening, “you’ll rest,” 

Your eyes drift shut, a relaxed sigh on your lips, your body indistinguishable in your mind from the sheets wrapped around you. 

Sylus presses a gentle kiss to your hair and strokes your back, “Sleep, little crow,” he says softly, “you’re safe with me,” 

Just like before, the world falls away. 

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

There’s no telling how long you’ve been asleep, not when Sylus wakes you the way he does. You come into consciousness incredibly slowly, as if you were out of your body and watching the scene in slow motion. The first thing you register through the muffled world of dreamless sleep is his voice. It doesn’t matter how deeply under you are, still encased in darkness, you hear his voice reach out to you and tug on the invisible tether tying your consciousness to his. 

Needy girl. 

Hands on your thighs, cool air on your cunt. 

Rutting yourself on my thigh. 

Were you? 

Don’t you know I’m the only one allowed to make you come?

A soft moan. Yours, you think distantly. 

Sylus chuckles and hums, no doubt appraising you once again with his hungry eyes. You still feel under the deep water of sleep, your body disconnected and pliant in his hands, his influence so impacting that you remain his plaything even now. 

Fingers dance across your skin, skating lines of ice over your flesh. Sylus studies your body with his touch, a brush against your collarbones, the curve of your shoulders, down your arms into the ditch of your elbows. A brush of lips against your palm, a reverent kiss to your chest, his mouth nuzzling against your belly as he searches more of you with his precious touch. 

Your skin turns sensitive, prickling goose flesh, and he sighs pleasantly into your skin, “So beautiful,” 

His voice feels clearer now, and somewhere in your brain through the membrane of your closed eyelids you register the cool blue of early morning light. 

“My darling,” He hums, another kiss, the shifting of the sheets as he moves, “my sweet girl,” 

You feel the weight of him above you, his legs between yours and his torso radiating a chill as he holds himself above you. Sylus slips one hand into your hair, cradling your head for a moment before he tightens his hold and uses his grip on your scalp to draw your head back, neck stretched long and exposed. 

He drops lower, body ghosting yours, and he buries his face in your throat, pushing his nose into your pulse point. A panicked thrill lances through you, your heartbeat fluttering faster. 

“Shh, shh,” He whispers against your throat, “don’t be frightened,” 

A sharp exhale leaves your lips. 

Sylus kisses your throat, letting his lips linger, “You wanted to play with a vampire, sweetheart, this is what you get,” 

Even in this false sleep, you feel your core flutter, heat pooling again. 

His tongue darts out, tracing a line from your thumping pulse up your vein to your ear and he groans pleasantly, a flutter of breath across your skin, “Next time,” he shudders, “maybe I’ll make you play my favorite game,” 

Your breath quickens. 

“Vampire,” He nips at your throat, his fangs still sheathed, “and vampire hunter,” 

The ache between your thighs melts into a throb, a pulse in time with your heart.

Sylus moves lower, lavishing open mouthed, messy kisses on your skin as he talks. His voice still a whisper, his fantasies muttered out from himself more than for you as he loses himself in your touch.

”You’ll come to me,” He teases, “ready to kill the big, bad, vampire,” he punctuates every word with a sharp lick to your breasts.  

A whimper passes through your slack lips. 

“Only I’ve played this game before,” His hand slides out of your hair and he settles his body weight over you, “and I never lose,” 

You shiver, his words, his cold touch, it hardly matters. 

“And you’ll run from me,” His hands drag over your skin, cupping your breasts, “and I’ll chase the frightened kitten into the woods,” 

Your breath hitches. 

He smiles against your skin, lips closing over a stiff nipple and flicking until you shudder beneath him. He hums, kissing across your chest, “Red and ripe as strawberries,” he observes, latching onto your other nipple and sucking, “I can feel how much you’re aching for me even in your sleep,” 

You’re dripping, you can feel it, making a mess of the silk sheets underneath you. 

He shifts, maneuvering your body to tilt your hips up and open, legs spread wide, and then you feel him. Sylus slides his impossibly hard length over your slit, rocking himself back and forth against your wetness, his velvet head nudging at your swollen bud. 

Your body is trembling, fluttering under his hands. 

“When I catch you,” He returns to his garish fantasy, “I’ll strip you bare,” 

You feel your stomach clench at the thought. 

“I’ll pin you right down to the ground,” He says it like a promise, rolling his hips harder, “and fuck your hot little cunt until you’re so cockdrunk you beg for more,” 

A pained whine bubbles from your mouth, hips arching involuntarily at his words. 

“Mm,” His hand drags down your chest, skimming over your body, “have I denied you too long, love?” 

You want to beg, to plead, to shift your hips into the exact right position so that his next thrust pushes his cock inside. 

“You’ve been so good,” He adjusts, finally nudging at your wet entrance, his hands finding yours in the sheets and drawing them above your head, fingers twined together, “just a little more,”

He inhales sharply and then with a forceful thrust he sheaths himself inside you, his hips connecting hard with yours. 

You moan sharply, your pussy clenching around the thick intrusion of him. 

He chokes a groan, “O-open your eyes, sweetheart,” 

Your eyes snap open, and the sight of him naked above you, inside you, is enough to send your mind spiraling out of control. 

“Your body was made for me,” He snaps his hips, setting a brutal pace as he ruts into you, “divined by gods for my cock,” 

Pleasure rolls up through your belly and your body tightens.

  “You’re mine,” His hands tightens on yours, his eyes boring into you.

  Tears gather in your eyes, a hot sensation through every inch of your body at the way his thick length spears you open with every draw of his hips. The knot inside you pulls again, a taut cord threatening at any moment to snap. 

“Say you’re mine,” He commands, his voice faltering into a moan.

  Your mouth opens, straining against the sure drop of your orgasm but you nod, “I’m yours, S-Sylus, I’m all yours,” 

“Good girl,” He pants, “there she is,” 

The praise on his lips sends you higher, and you suck in a sharp breath, “I’m… Sylus, I’m close!”

He descends, moving in a flash of nearly inhuman speed, and suddenly your head is pulled to the side  again and you’re cradled tight as he rolls his hips into you. 

“Come,” He directs, one more command on his lips before you fall to pieces beneath him, and his sharp fangs descend into your throat. 

“Sylus!” You jerk, true consciousness and feeling rushing back as the thread between his mind and yours severs, but you don’t have a moment to parse how it feels to be out of thrall when your orgasm rushes into you full force and the hot pain of his teeth melts into delicious pleasure. 

He groans, shuddering above you and stopping his thrusts as he feels your walls spasm and flutter around him, the taste of your blood on his tongue grinding the world to a halt at his feet. Nothing exists but you and him and your blood on his teeth and his cock buried to the hilt inside you. 

Your arms wrap around his shoulders, one hand threading into his hair, “Sylus,” you murmur, carding your fingers through his silver locks, “all yours,” 

Euphoria doesn’t begin to describe it, your orgasm feels never ending. Every suck at your tender throat spurns another wave through you, and you rock yourself against him, grinding up against his pelvic bone to draw out every ounce of your pleasure. 

When he pulls away, he does so with care, gentle with the skin of your neck to ensure he doesn’t hurt you anymore that he has to. Pushing up on the mattress he finds your face and you roll right into another aftershock. His eyes are brighter, wide in desperate awe of you and somehow an even darker shade of red, and that with the smear of your blood across his lips has you keening, arching and gripping against him as you babble out his name between moans. 

“That’s it,” He softens, gathering you close to press his forehead to yours, “come for me again, that’s my girl,” 

“Sylus,” You’re a whimpering mess, your body a pool of ecstatic pleasure, and all you can do is repeat his name and hold onto him through the wave of endorphins and emotions. 

“Shh, shh,” He hushes you softly as you ride through the last flush of pleasure, “I’ve got you,” 

Your skin is slick with sweat, and your legs are shaking, breath coming in shallow pants as you finally come back down. 

Sylus holds you, bracing you to his chest and he makes short work of rolling you both without disconnecting your bodies. When he settles he’s on his back with you perched on his hips, his fingers carving a line up and down your spine to settle you. 

Flush and trembling, you find his eyes again. 

His brows draw together, a knit line of tender concern, and he brushes his thumb over your jaw, “Don’t bite your lip,” 

Your mouth relaxes, you hadn’t even known you were doing it, and your eyes flick away. He says something, words you can hardly hear through the dizzy rush of your brain trying to catch up with the past few hours.

“Sweetheart,” he smooths his thumb over your cheek, “look me in the eyes, answer me,” 

Your head snaps back up. 

“Was I too rough?” He asks softly.

You don’t have words yet, you can’t reach them and string them together, but you shake your head.

”Are you sure?” His hands draw up and down your body slowly like he’s checking you for something, his broad hands finally coming to rest over yours where you brace yourself on his chest. 

You nod to his answer his question, “I’m sure,” 

He relaxes under you, pressing your hands into his chest over his heart, and it would turn you to romantic putty if he wasn’t still seated fully inside you and if your blood wasn’t staining his mouth. Your eyes keep flicking down to his mouth, crimson across his plush bottom lip, smears on his chin, a drip that made it to the edge and slipped down his neck. 

”Hmm,” His lips turn up into a smile and you sheepishly look back up, “are you still hungry, love?” 

Your stomach clenches, his voice turning husky again the moment he spies your renewed arousal. 

This time though, you’re awake. The heavy fog of his control and your barrage of orgasms has started to lift, and you need something more. 

You let your body melt, relaxing against him and letting his cock shift inside you, “Are you?” 

He almost laughs at your expression, one brow raised to challenge him as you push up to straddle him. His eyes rake over you and you feel his cock twitch, “You’d think I would have had my fill of you,” he says, hands moving to your hips, “but I find you make me insatiable, the more I taste you, the more I fuck you, the more I want,” 

“A vampire who’s never satisfied?” You tease him, “how original,” 

He exhales softly through his nose, smiling, “You’re the one still grinding on my cock, kitten,” 

You blush, but make no effort to stop unconsciously rocking your hips against him. 

“I was wrong, you’re the insatiable one,” He says appreciatively, and he smoothly slides his hands up your back to brace you so that when he sits up you stay with him. 

“If I was I’d never admit it,” 

He smacks your ass lightly with his palm and you wrap your legs around him, the position change sinking you back down onto his length and you sigh. 

”After what you just let me do to you?” Sylus shakes his head, his voice dropping the teasing tone when he presses his lips to your chest, “That’s admission enough,” 

He takes both hands to grip your backside, pressing into your soft flesh, and drags you forwards to coax you into motion. 

Holding onto his shoulders you follow his lead, working your hips back and forth, letting the press of his hands guide your speed. The feeling is dizzying, his cock feeling thicker and more filling in this position, and you can’t help the stammered moans and pants that bubble out of you with every downstroke connecting your hips to his. 

Sylus mutters a curse into your skin, his fingers pressing hard enough to leave bruises, and then you feel his tongue. 

“Fuck,” You whine, “Sylus,” 

He pulls at your hips harder and you pick up the pace, grinding your heels into the mattress for the right leverage, losing yourself to the steady wet sound of him inside you and the heat building back up in your belly. 

You shiver at the sensation of his tongue traveling, dragging a line up your chest from the swell of your breast to your collarbone, and when he groans and huffs a needy breath at your throat, you realize what has him so flustered. 

“T-take more,” Your hand in his hair again to direct his head, pushing him towards your throat. 

“Mm-mm,” He shakes his head and drops the flat of his tongue over the bleeding teeth marks at your throat. 

You hiss sharply, a familiar roll of pleasure through you and you grip his hair, “Please, baby, please,” 

“Not tonight,” He laps at you again, “just cleaning you up,” 

“God,” You moan, your pace faltering for a moment until the pressure of his hands pushes you back into action. 

“Don’t stop,” He urges you, pulling away from your throat and using one hand to tug you close by the back of the neck, “you feel…” 

You have to hold on, you need him to come after all the work he’s put into pleasuring you, and you can’t let yourself fall apart until he does. You lock eyes with him and his expression, almost pained, his mouth open in silent pleasure and still painted red, pushes you through the ache in your hips and the burning in your thighs. He’s so close. Nearly, nearly there.

”Sylus,” Your voice breathy, “kiss me,” 

There’s a flicker of a smile across his mouth but he surges up, capturing your lips in a desperate kiss. His tongue catches against yours, and you taste the iron of your own blood, you feel the sharpness of his fangs, but all it does is drive you closer and closer to delicious release. 

“My sinful little thing,” He pants against your mouth, “you never stop surprising me,” 

Your eyes flutter shut, your nails tight against his shoulders, “Please, I need it,” 

“What do you need?” He croons, hungrily at your lips once more. 

You moan against his mouth, tugging his hair sharply, “Come,” you pant, nearly out of breath, “I need your cum,” 

He shudders, groaning.  

“Sylus!” You whine again, “Inside, please, please,” 

His hand slips from your hair, and the equilibrium changes things back to Sylus in total control. With both hands secured on your ass he takes over, dragging you fast and hard on his cock and meeting every thrust with a hard jut of his hips. He’s fucking into you with reckless need, the head of his cock connecting over and over again with your cervix, and you arch and cry out in his arms. 

“No,” He pants, pulling you back to him, “eyes on me,” 

“Please,” You beg again, your cunt spasming and fluttering, “I-I’ll come if you just,” 

He loses himself immediately, pulling you down hard and choking out a moan, spilling his release deep and grinding you down to prolong his own pleasure, but you’re falling apart right behind him in a breath. A final, dizzying orgasm taking your body like a soft wave, languid and warm, and Sylus nods as you ride it out, coaxing you through every last moment. 

When you settle, you feel how much your body is trembling, and he releases his tight grip on your hips to gently massage your skin, soothing touches as he softens inside you. 

“Oh my god,” You laugh softly, your forehead pressed to his, “that was,” 

“Good?” He asks, a soft, quick kiss to your lips. 

“Perfect,” You sigh, “you were perfect.” 

He nods, drinking you in for a moment more before he exhales and relaxes, leaning back and meeting your eyes.  

“I must look a mess,” You press your cool knuckles to the warmth of your flushed cheeks. 

“A beautiful mess,” He counters gently. 

You smile lazily at him, feeling boneless and sated and delicious. 

Sylus takes the pad of his thumb to the very tip of his razor sharp fangs and pierces his skin, a bead of his own dark blood rising up from the puncture on his pale skin. 

His fangs retract and he reaches for you, smoothing his bleeding thumb over the bite mark at your throat. You hiss sharply at the sensation and grip his shoulder, the burn of your skin knitting itself back together something you don’t know if you’ll ever get used to. 

“I was too rough with you,” He comments, like he’s filing away that information for himself for next time. 

You shake your head though, resting your hand on his wrist, “You weren’t, I wanted every bit of it,” 

His thumb sweeps a final line over your skin and he kisses you again, “I’ll keep that in mind,” 

You smile against his lips, and then Sylus gives you one final, quick peck. 

“I think a shower,” He says, sliding you both smoothly off the bed and keeping you tucked in his arms, “and a nap,” 

“I think that’s a perfect idea,” 

“And I’m hardly hungry anymore,” He teases as he carries you into the bathroom, “but we’ll order something up for you,” 

You nod, relaxing into his care. 

“Perhaps a movie,” He suggests, sliding you onto the counter so he can start the shower, “or I could always read to you?” 

“Or you could tell me more about next time,” You say slyly, “what was it? Chasing me down in the woods?” 

He shakes his head, testing the warmth of the water on his fingertips. 

“Having your way with me?” You stretch out your leg to reach him, dragging your foot down his thigh, “Should I struggle? Beg you to stop?” 

His hand snaps up, closing around your ankle and he turns towards you, “Be careful, sweetheart,” 

“I’m simply curious,” You tease. 

“Mhm,” He scoops you back up and walks you straight into the shower until your back is against the chilly tile wall, “Curious?” 

You feel him hardening again against your belly and you nod.

“Kitten,” He smirks, “you know what they say about curiosity, don’t you?” 

“I think I need a little reminder,” You sigh, holding onto his shoulders again. 

He kisses you again, pressing you into the shower wall, a smile on his mouth as he nips at your lip, “I’ll bet you do,” 

[ko-existing]

Stop for a second — Audio into Text

This might sound like a harsher or more stern post but either way, sometimes real talk is needed. A massive problem I see in my inbox and friends' inboxes is that people absolutely refuse to properly read posts, think about what was said, and ponder it for themselves before asking any questions. Out of the over 2000 asks we have received since opening this account, 99.9% of them can be answered by the questioners themselves. Most of the questions we answered on our blog could also be answered by the questioners themselves. We're not needed for it, but the problem is that people just do not want to think for themselves or don’t even want to properly read a post before asking questions.

For example is when we post something like, "All concepts are imaginary and made up. If you drop all of them, you're left with nothing-ness." Or, "If you strip yourself of all senses, you will still have the sense of existing or the sense of being. You don't need your senses for it. If you have a dream and your senses are not involved, you still know and have that sense of being and experiencing." Then, a very popular question is, "So, if all concepts are imaginary, does that mean the law of assumption, law of attraction, the void state, manifesting, and shifting are imaginary as well?" That's a question I will never understand because—genuine question—what do you think "all is imaginary" means? If there was an exception, don't you think someone would have mentioned it? It's not just our blog or other people's blogs—Rupert Spira, Swami Sarvapriyananda, Alan Watts, or Robert Watts all say the same thing. If there is an exception, one of us would have mentioned it. It’s already in the sentence: "ALL is illusory." There is no exception to it. So, why ask if there is an exception when it's already in the sentence

Another very popular thing is when we say, "All is awareness and everything happens within awareness." That is something you can absolutely, 100% directly experience because you're doing it right now. Just be aware that you're doing it right now, that everything is happening within awareness. Just go backward—ask yourself, "Why am I perceiving this right now? What's needed?" and then go backward, and the end, or what seems to be the end, would be awareness.

When we say that, people still ask how, or they say, "Well, but we experience it with senses, and who's aware of those senses?" You need "awareness" to be aware of the senses; the senses alone do not experience anything. That’s just independent thinking that is refused within a lot of you. Absolute independent investigation needs to happen.

The other day, we received a few asks saying that we phrase our posts vaguely—and that's not true. The way people phrase things, or the way blogs or speakers in general phrase things, is the exact same way they learned it and experienced it themselves. It might sound vague to you because you just briefly read over it and don't ponder on it, or don’t read it as many times as you need to. You just read it once, maybe twice, and then start asking questions—Go backward by yourself, think for yourself, ponder and investigate by yourself, and the answer is clear as day. But a lot of you don't want to do it, and that’s where the problem lies. You don't want to rely on yourself, you don't want to take responsibility for yourself. You feel like, "Okay, this person has woken up, this person is already seeing through the illusion, so I have to listen to them, and I have to ask them for security reasons, for safety reasons, because their word is reliable. My thinking is not. If I investigate for myself, there could still be mistakes." And that's where the false thought process is. If you believe that you have to rely on someone else's words because you cannot rely on your own conclusions, you will keep overconsuming to the n-th degree. Experiencing is not done by me—it's done by you. Investigating and coming to conclusions to true understanding on a fundamental level can never happen through someone that seems to be external. It happens within you, by you, for you, and it's something you need to understand.

I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but it has to be said sooner or later because you're tired from going into circles, we're tired, everyone is tired. So why are you not doing yourself a favor and really seeing it for yourself? Stop asking anyone anything—ask yourself, because that's where the answer is. GO BACKWARDS. When people say "all answers are within," it is as literal as it can get. I'm not saying within your brain or within your organs, but the answers are within. If everything happens within awareness, the answers are within awareness, and the answers are just as illusory—which means not what they seem to be—as the questions. And once that's understood, there's nothing else to understand.

ALL anyone can do here is lead you to water, it's up to you if you drink or not .

[missmeinyourbones]

PLEASE NOTICE 

cw: noncanon universe, college au, mentions of alcohol and drinking, mutual pining, loosely based on that one tik tok audio of stan and wendy from south park LOL

“But if you come, we could—” 

Megumi cuts Yuuji off before the words can actually leave his mouth, “No.”

You walk through the door just in time to see Nobara’s face turn from a smirk to a scowl at his unexpected interruption. 

“You didn’t even let him finish!” she whines through an irritated pout. 

Megumi is quick to shrug proudly, “Don’t have to. The answer is still no.”

With a quick scan of the room, there’s a lot of different feelings dancing in the cramped space of your dorm. Megumi sits with his back against the couch, blatantly annoyed with whatever question was in the process of being asked. Yuuji sits adjacent to him on his bean bag, arms resting on his knees and persistence eager in his eyes. Nobara stands behind Yuuji, hands on her hips and her face puckered into a sour frown.

With caution, you decide to tread lightly. “...What are we talking about?”

Yuuji’s head whips in your direction, desperate for some encouragement in whatever he’s trying to persuade Megumi of.

“We’re trying to convince The Grim Reaper here to come out with us tonight,” he uses a nod to gesture to where Megumi slumps on his phone, frown covered by the collar of his hoodie.  

Nobara sighs obnoxiously before explaining, “The bartender at that place on the corner has a weird thing for him, which means free drinks on Megumi tonight.”  

You notice Megumi’s eyebrows instantly furrow at her blunt conclusion. 

“She’s some girl from my politics lecture,” his response is muffled, dismissive, through his sweatshirt, “I want nothing to do with her.”

Nobara scurries over to where Megumi wishes the couch could swallow him whole. “But she doesn’t have to know that,” her tone is airy with faux potential.  

Yuuji lets out a dry snort at her claim, “Some feminist you are.”

A smack is heard, and you don’t need to be looking to know its from Nobara’s hand meeting the back of Yuuji’s head. 

“Hey! I love women,” her hands wave in dramatic clarification, “but if Megumi playing dirty gets me a few free tequila sodas, then I’m more than fine enabling this one situation.”

You make yourself comfortable on the opposite end of the couch Megumi sits on. You don’t miss how his eyes quickly flicker over to where he feels the cushion bend beneath your weight. 

You let your sock-clad foot poke at his thigh, and he’s quick to turn his attention to you. 

“Even if you come and don’t smuggle us free drinks, I still think it’ll be fun,” you shoot him a warm smile. The simple action makes his stomach flip in on itself and his palms sweat with a feeling he can only describe as genuine. 

But what follows? Not so much.

“So fun,” Yuuji chimes in, clearly trying to further persuade Megumi into tagging along with them tonight. “Like, the most fun four best friends could ever have.” 

Megumi’s eyes roll when he scoffs, “My definition of fun isn’t watching you get wasted and being your babysitter for the night.”

Yuuji howls behind a boyish grin. 

“You could get drunk, too,” he teases in an airy giggle, “then everybody wins.”

Megumi’s nose crinkles as he thinks about drinking tonight, “You know I’m not big on drinking.”

“One wouldn’t hurt,” Nobara chimes in, “might even get that stick out of your ass.”

The two choose to ignore her smart remark. Yuuji doesn’t take his eyes off Megumi when he continues to push, “Just for a little bit?”

The huff from Megumi’s chest is instant, “I said no.”

Nobara jumps in again, “I’ll pay for the Uber, out of the kindness of my heart—”

Yuuji suddenly shakes your shoulder with a rough and excited hand. 

“Wait—you know that one guy, right?” he beams. 

Your head turns at his sudden touch, “What guy?”

“The one on the lacrosse team,” he eagerly reminds you, “who was flirting with you all night last weekend.”

“Oh yeah,” Nobara points your way as she remembers, “that was painful to watch.” 

You cringe at the memory—a guy from your campus whom you’d met a few weeks ago. He was nice enough, decently looking, and friendly with the rest of his team—but you weren't interested in him like he was in you. His actions were a bit too handsy and his humor was a tad too crude for your taste. Definitely not worth the two free vodka cranberries he bought you. 

You choose to shrug at the insinuation, “Yeah, I mean, I guess I’m friendly with him—”

“Perfect!” Nobara jumps up with excitement. “He’ll definitely be there tonight. You bat your pretty little eyelashes a bit, get a few extra beers for us. And if he tries anything funny, we bash his teeth in.” 

She claps her hands together at the simplicity of her plan, and Megumi absolutely hates the turn of events that's happened in the last thirty seconds. Sure, he didn't want to go and entertain some poor girl who has a crush on him for a few drinks—but now, with the alternative being you doing the same thing, he’s suddenly sick to his stomach.

He nearly lunges out of his seat when he tosses his phone down beside him. “Are you guys really this desperate for a few free drinks?” His tone is a bit too irritated for the light conversation at hand. 

Nobara and Yuuji spare one another a quick glance, before tucking their smiles into their cheeks and doing their best to nod thoughtfully at their aggravated friend. 

“So, you comin’? Or what?”

“Please, Megumi? My favorite stick in the mud?”

Megumi’s head shakes, and he goes to open his mouth to decline rather disrespectfully when your voice cuts him off. 

“Megumi,” you call softly, and he’s immediately burning a bright red, both inside and out. 

Your eyes are glowing with a hopeful shimmer, one that he can read without any words needed. “I won’t wanna go if you don’t come,” you gently whine, “please?”

Yuuji eagerly hits Nobara’s shoulder a few times as he does his best to whisper, “He’s slipping, he’s slipping.” Nobara grins like a cat, and you swear you can read her lips saying “man down.”

The two of them don’t even try to hide their snickers, but luckily for the two, Megumi isn't focused on them. He’s focused on you—your delicate plea music to his ears as he’s immediately softening and rethinking his whole prior mindset.  All because you so much as smiled and said please. 

With the look you're giving him right now, Megumi could never say no to you. 

“Fine,” he keeps it short and sweet, “but only for a few hours.” 

Nobara slaps his shoulder in victory as she skips towards her room to go get ready, “That’s more than enough time for me, buddy.” 

“You’re still paying for the Uber,” Megumi calls after her down the hallway, and before she descends out of sight, she turns around and salutes him a confirmation. 

With a few giggles, Yuuji isn't far behind her as he too eventually disappears, leaving just you and Megumi on the couch together. 

When he turns to face you, he’s flustered to find that you’re already admiring him. You send him a soft smile, one he knows is saying thank you, so he sends one back and prays to whoever might be listening that you know it's saying far more than you're welcome.

[copperbadge]

Okay so wait a minute, with this aphantasia thing. I don’t think I have aphantasia because I process audio fine, in fact I prefer not to have any visual, but apparently there is some relationship between it and ADHD. I’m not trying to be confrontational in any of this but I’m bewildered by the idea of mentally picturing things you listen to or read about. It’s bothered me since I posted the ask. 

I can picture things in my head, if I stop and make a conscious decision to build them, but if I’m doing that I can’t do anything else -- I can’t listen to a podcast and picture it in my head and also do something with my hands. Come to think of it I probably couldn’t even keep up with the podcast if I was trying to picture it in my head, I’d struggle to choose which things to imagine and by the time I got them built they’d have moved on. It never feels like a very useful thing to do, because I’ve already got the words, that’s the important part, and I’d rather be doing stuff. I just assumed that most of the time when people talk about picturing stuff they’re either doing it very deliberately, like a guided meditation, or they’re being poetic, like people don’t actually do that, we just say we do as a way of describing someone thinking about something.

So, I’m listening to a podcast in which the host reads a letter from Napoleon Bonaparte to his brother, discussing his brother’s relationship with his wife (“she’s still young, let her dance if she wants, don’t lock her up with the kids all day.”) If you see images in your head when you hear audio, are you seeing the host reading off a sheet of paper, or Napoleon writing the letter, or Napoleon talking to his brother, or are you seeing Napoleon’s brother being mean to his wife? If you don’t know what any of these people look like, do you just make something up? 

Jesus Christ, when people read erotica do they picture the sex happening? What’s that like? You just get porn in your head involuntarily? I mean, not involuntarily, you’re choosing to read the text, but it just shows up when you do? 

Writers, when you write do you get mental images as you go? I often will pause in writing to build a mental image in my head and then describe it but as soon as I do it disappears, and it’s mostly a waste of time so I really only do that when I need to describe a space that people are moving around in (like the fishing lodge with the kitchen bar dividing the living room and kitchen, I do have several mental “camera snaps” of that setup, but I don’t picture it when I’m writing about it). 

This might explain why I always get yelled at for not describing people in my books. It’s simply unimportant to me 99% of the time and awkward to try and insert it the other 1%. I don’t picture people in my head when I read -- they’re a personality, a collection of characteristics. My characters don’t have faces to me, like how people in dreams don’t have faces, you just know who they are. I describe them but that’s just words I really like, or I pick out people who already exist and just say “oh they look like that”. Obviously when someone wants a description I do my best to supply it, but in prose it’s just not important. 

This is genuinely blowing my mind. This is why people always want descriptions of things! They get to see the descriptions! Reading a book must be like going to an art gallery anytime you want without moving. Is that what it’s like? Is this super common, like am I the weird one, or is this just like for people with super vivid imaginations? 

[nayatarot777]

Quick Messages From Spirit • 3-Card-Pull

If you’d like a personal 6-card-pull, then feel free to purchase one through my Etsy shop! Full email/audio readings can be found on this pinned post here. I’m trying to slowly move the method of purchasing my readings to a much more structured and easy-to-use platform that showcases reviews, breakdowns of my readings, etc - all in one place. Many thanks! 🫶🏾

• Pile One •

9 of Swords

Queen of Swords

King of Swords

You’re in deep mental turmoil because of a deep imbalance between your masculine and feminine mind. There are many ideas, thoughts, and opinions that you’re swaying to and from extremes with. What you need to work on right now is that you need to find a way out of this mental limbo that you’re in. You’re only experiencing this because you’re refusing to trust your own judgements so, in a way, you’re causing this mental turmoil for yourself. You need to gain clarity and what you actually think and stick to it. Don’t flip flop and don’t go back on your personal opinions and beliefs. Write down your opinions if you need to and act on them. Speak your truths once you figure out what your truths are.

• Pile Two •

8 of Wands

Death

The Lovers

This energy is either representative of the recent past, present, or near future.

There’s something here about very fast movement towards a permanent ending of something. Most likely a connection to someone else (a romantic relationship more than anything, but it can definitely be a deep platonic relationship too). I’m feeling an ending that you did not see coming. However, every death moment is followed by a rebirth, and what’s rebirthing itself is some form of true and genuine love. Specifically for yourself. This shocking communication has the purpose of pushing you into an ending that was going to happen inevitably. The Grim Reaper just came through and sped up the process so that you didn’t waste any unnecessary time drawing this out. This connection to this person was energetically dead already. The actual death of the connection just hadn’t manifested into reality yet. This was a push from the universe to really get the ball rolling in your life again, although it may not feel like it.

• Pile Three •

Page of Pentacles

Justice

10 of Cups

You’ve been in a time period of learning how to manage something in relation to your practical world - money, your daily routine, self-care, etc. The truth about your life in general seems to be setting in, and I feel like you’re realising that what you thought would make you happy is only going to give you a false sense of happiness. There’s a completion to some type of hopes and wishes that you have - not necessarily because you’ve achieved them, but because your perspective on them is changing. You’re really looking at the earthly things that you’ve been lead to believe will make you happy and you’re seeing that they’re less significant in comparison to other things. To other things that’ll truly align with who you are truly and in actuality. This seems to be an awakening of your higher mind in relation to what life has to offer - which is way more than what can be seen and felt.

[koralinewrites]

I saw a post on your main account that you listened to DAYLIGHT! If you don't mind, could you let me know what you think of it?

OOH YES!

Okay so, just to preface this, I’ve ONLY ever listened to Laito’s audios, so his is all I’m gonna be talking about. Obviously there’s gonna be a few spoilers- I personally REALLY loved his tracks. I know there are people who don’t like it because of the storyline and such, but I don’t really care about all that. I loved it for two things. 1) It shows off Laito’s thought processes and what goes through his head and 2) Daisuke Hirakawa’s performance was amazing.

I LOVE angst. I love reading it, writing it, everything. And this has a lot of angst. I mean, the one person who he’s fallen in love with is dying, and there’s quite literally nothing he can do. I think Track 4 was the one that actually got me to cry at the end, when he’s having a mental breakdown. We get to learn more about how he views himself. He doesn’t think of himself as someone who should HAVE these feelings. He’s Laito Sakamaki: a vampire who lies and manipulates his way through life (basically a direct quote, btw). He doesn’t know what to do about these feelings. Lust and pleasure was all predictable, it was second nature. But when someone he genuinely cared for showed up? He had no idea. And then to pile onto these confusing feelings, that same person was going to die. And he couldn’t do a thing. His default was to get rid of the root of the problem, aka you.

This is where I got kinda confused , because a similar thing was happening in More Blood but he didn’t want to kill Yui because he loved her. The way I understood it was he’d rather be the one to kill you than to see you die slowly and painfully without him being able to do anything. Plus, if he was the one to try to kill you, you’d probably resent him and it’d make his life easier. You wouldn’t be nice to him anymore. It’d be something normal, predictable. Something he’s used to, because, let’s face it, he doesn’t know how to handle genuine compassion. But then you don’t. You don’t hate him for trying to murder you- in fact, you welcome it. And this confuses him. You’re not supposed to act like this, it just makes his job harder. Why aren’t you doing anything the way it’s supposed to be done? The way he’s used to. And so, he thinks it’s a problem with him. So he turns that knife on himself, and it takes you getting hurt for him to realize that getting rid of himself wouldn’t accomplish anything either.

Also, as I said before, Daisuke Hirakawa’s performance is AMAZING in this. I’m obsessed with, I can’t remember if it’s Track 3 or 4, but the scene where you’re in the school infirmary and have a coughing fit. He obviously freaks out and his voice deepens in worry. But then. When he leaves, he puts on that happy mask. His voice lightens, and it’s back to that higher-pitched sound it was originally. And that made me want to SMACK him. Like, sir- STOP. Stop hiding behind that mask, it’s obvious you’re worried. Come on.

When Laito’s thinking to himself, when he has that mental breakdown in Track 4, the way his voice shakes and deepens and how he yells and curses and punches a wall and just- AUGHHH. This man. He so obviously cares, but he doesn’t know what to do with all of these feelings he’s never had to deal with before. I just…. God.

Sorry if this isn’t exactly what you wanted. If you can’t tell, I’ve had this rant in my head for a WHILE. He just makes me so ILL. Please, people, send in more Laito related asks, I have so many thoughts-

[drbased]

On getting your life back

The internet stole from me the ability concentrate at age 12 and this was almost 20 years ago, before capitalism had really sunk its teeth into it. I know it’s popular to blame capitalism for the internet’s ‘failings’, but the deeper, scarier truth is that at its core, having unbridled access to all the world’s opinions and facts is overwhelming - especially to miserable, isolated and lonely teenagers - like I was. In a post-internet world my best advice is this: learn to narrow your horizons and focus on what your actual passions are. Remember that just because you can learn, see and do everything does not mean you have to learn, see and do everything. Sure, you could watch 10 videos on woodworking and then read a wiki article on food science and then watch a bunch of tiktoks on DIY but you are not a failure for not doing all of that, even if you have an interest in woodworking, food science or DIY. The process of refocussing your brain starts with the macro level as much as it does the micro. You’ll learn to concentrate better if you’re reading things you actively want to read. If you don’t want to read 100 tweets about some natural disaster you don’t have to do that either. Read a blog dedicated to bird-watching instead if that’s what you’ve wanted to do all this time - suddenly, you’ll find you’re able to hold your concentration for a lot longer, and your ability to read paragraphs comes back surprisingly quickly. You can get as specific as you want about this, by the way - because this is all about the journey and not the destination. This is about learning to love what you’re actually doing in the moment rather than wanting the end result of feeling that you’ve achieved something. And in a catch-22 style of events, soon enough reading blogs won’t feel like enough - you’ll start to want to read books on the subject, too. And BAM you’re reading again like it’s fucking magic!! Maybe you’re not reading like 5 books but you’ve now completed one, which is more than can be said a year ago. And I can say that because that’s what happened to me with radical feminism.

Radical feminist tumblr sort of became my antidote to what the internet did to me, as I found myself reading paragraph after paragraph of fascinating theory. I felt as if I shouldn’t be reading high theory for some reason, because it makes me a terrible ‘activist’ even though I’ve never had an interest in actually being one. I’d pathologised my thinking as obsessive and unproductive, and in doing so I’d made it so. Instead, channelling my thinking by reading things that genuinely fascinate me has made my life a journey I want to take rather than a series of disparate obligations. Now I’m making my way through feminist books - often as audio books, but also I’m actually sitting down and reading. And no, I’m not reading at the speed I read Harry Potter and The Order Of The Phoenix that time when I read the whole book on the day I got it, but I’m reading!! And I’m enjoying it!! And I’m dipping my toes into fiction and I have read some of that too!! This process has been like magic and I’m changing my whole life and I’m SO EXCITED!!

[le-trash-prince]

OF Episode 6 Thoughts: Top/Mew

I finally got to watch this week’s ep and there is SO MUCH TO UNPACK. I have too many thoughts so I’m splitting them between posts.

First of all: What a fucking episode. I was either laughing or screaming the entire time. I love this shit so much. Everyone in this group sucks!

Mew's bi momma! 🙌

When Mew said “I want you to meet my parents at the end of the year” and then “But don’t count on us still being together” I was like “What the fuck Mew?” LOL. Like Mew, I know you will probably never understand this, but just because you are not seeing anyone else doesn't mean that you are emotionally committed to this relationship. You keep pulling back and giving mixed signals!

“I think the reason I was fine without a relationship was because I got enough love from family and friends” Mew how about you recognize that you’re demi instead of psychoanalyzing your slutty friends!

Tbh tho, I know it's really hard to come to terms with your own sexuality, especially when it's so different from everyone around you. We try to come up with reasons as to why people are different, rather than being able to accept that these differences can be inherent to who we are as people.

I think this episode showed more than any other just how genuine Top’s feelings for Mew really are. And of course this had to be the episode it all came crashing down.

Like the notebook of drawings he gave him? That was super sweet and thoughtful as a gift—ppl prob expect someone like Top to just throw money at his lovers but instead he put time and effort into his gift. You can’t draw someone like that without really looking at them. There wasn’t anything in that gift that said "fuckboy" or “I’m doing this just so you will sleep with me.”

Felt like there was an intentional parallel between Top kissing Mew’s forehead while he was asleep and Ray kissing Mew on the mouth.

I feel like I need to rewatch to process “Mew and Ray get in a fight” and “Ray gave Mew the audio file and Mew believed him”

When Mew and Top got home, I loved how the change and tension felt tangible. Like something about Mew going into the bedroom by himself and leaving Top in the living room spoke to a barrier between them

Mew pinning Top to the bed did a lot of things for me thanks 👍

“I love the way you sound in bed” honestly some cinematic poetry, I was hollering.

As much as I feel like Top was coerced into sleeping with Boston, what can he even say to defend himself with? “I didn’t want to sleep with him?” Well it sure sounded like you did. “I did it because I thought you lied to me?” Yeah that’s not gonna make Mew understand. Lol. Again, I don't know if Top even knows if he's allowed to not want to have sex with someone.

It’s a hard situation with a lot of grey area! And even tho we kind of knew this was how Mew was gonna find out, it's the worst way for him to find out.

Of course Mew is going to be hurt. This is like the worst outcome for him, and it revealed a lot of his insecurities around his lack of sexual experience. Especially after talking big at the beginning "My senses are always correct and I know everything there is to know about love."

I wonder if he even blamed himself for being bad at sex as to why he didn’t enjoy his first time with Top all that much, rather than it simply being that he might not really get much out of sex at all. It's okay if you don't want sex, Mew, or if you don't enjoy it, or even if it takes time for you to enjoy it!

“I’m not worth enough for you to love only me.” Mew. Mew. *shakes him* First of all, Top thinks Boston is a pile of burnable trash. He does not love that man! Second of all, please don’t tie self worth to romantic love or to ideals of monogamy. It is never going to end well.

Again, "I think the reason I was fine without a relationship is because I got so much love from family and friends." Mew are you being honest with yourself? You even said yourself that the reason you slept with Top was because you were worried about him getting bored with you.

I may have mentioned this before, but I think the reason that "mastermind Mew" was so popular with the fandom at the beginning of the series is because people wanted it to be true, because if Mew had seen this coming, he wouldn't have gotten hurt. I don't think it came from "we think Mew is evil or manipulative or whatever," I think we just didn't want to watch a person as naive as Mew get hurt. Because that's what happens the majority of the time in real life. People get hurt.

Sad lonely himbo Top in the bathtub 👍

Overall, I really enjoy watching their relationship. It's very complicated; it's nowhere near as straightforward as a "fuckboy cheats on his virgin boyfriend" plotline could easily be. I don't think they had a solid foundation for their relationship. They enjoy their dates, but there hasn't been a lot of great communication between them, which as I mentioned on a previous post, is very normal, especially for a first or second relationship. And for both of them, I think this is their first real attempt at a relationship, and neither of them know what they're doing.

In the preview, we see a clip of Mew in the bathtub where his expression changes, and it really looks like a symbolic transformation to me. Whether we get revenge era Mew or "let's try this again with more emotional transparency" Mew, I'm here for it.

[warden-melli]

Got yelled at in a store by a random man today because I’m disabled

Vent under the cut

I have an invisible disability. I’m having a bit of a bad brain day today, and it’s taking me a lot longer than normal to process things. I was in a game store and I was concentrating on an item I was looking to pick up, trying to remember exactly what it was I was after because I couldn’t quite remember what I’d come in for

The person who was working there spoke to me, and because of the bad brain day, and the fact that I was already thinking about something else, it took me a moment to realise she was talking to me. Then after I realised she was talking to me I had to try and to work out what she’d said. I have problems with audio processing at the best of times, but today has been worse than normal. The loud music and bright lights in the store really didn’t help either

Before I could figure out what she had said, and just before I was about to ask her to repeat herself, I heard my friend say something to to the worker.

Then I heard a man yelling. Again, I was having trouble processing so it took me a while to realise the man was yelling at me. I can’t emphasise enough how confused and overwhelmed I was at this point

I couldn’t understand what he was saying at first, but after a few seconds I realised he was angry at me. He was yelling at me for ignoring the worker and for apparently having a “mucky” look on my face?? (I was wearing a mask?). I was super confused

My friend spoke up and told the man that they’d responded to the worker for me, so she hadn’t been ignored, and that I had a disability and that sometimes it took me a little while to process things, and that sometimes I have trouble speaking. They explained that I wasn’t ignoring her and that wasn’t deliberately making any face

I couldn’t speak the whole time. I was just too confused and my brain just wouldn’t. I don’t know who this man is at all, but I think he was just another customer? He was talking with the worker the entire time I was in there, so maybe he was a friend of theirs? I can’t really even remember what he looks like, just that he came up to my chest, was older (like maybe 40’s?) and I think he had a British accent? Regardless even after being told that I have a disability and I wasn’t being rude, he continued scowling at me and wouldn’t hear it. He insisted that I had deliberately ignored her and that I was making a face he didn’t like?? (I didn’t think I was making any face at all??? I was just trying to get my brain to work?? Plus I was wearing a mask so idk how he could see my face at all??)

I was so confused and I wasn’t in any state to handle confrontation, so I thought it would be for the best if I just left

Anyways I never did work out exactly what the worker had said to me, but my friend told me that she’d just asked if I needed any help, and that they had answered for me because they knew I wasn’t having a good brain day. I never got to speak to, or apologies to the worker either for the misunderstanding. I passed by the same store a little while later on my way home, but that man was still in there chatting to the employee

I’d always had good interactions with that employee too, so it was disappointing to see her ignore the situation and just keep chatting to the man like nothing had happened. The store prides itself on being inclusive and supportive of people with disabilities too, so it’s especially disappointing to see such a lack of understanding and respect towards disabled customers

Sorry for venting. This happened a few hours ago, but my brain is just catching up to it now. And now that it has the OCD won’t stop ruminating on what happened. I’m genuinely so confused and don’t understand what I did wrong, or what I could have possibly done different? Especially during a shutdown

Oh well, nothing I can do about it now I guess?

[simplysummers]

fanfic ones:

39, 40, 41, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48 and 49

Would y’all believe me if I said this has been in my ask box since 2021??? I know I’m awful. Sorry love 💛

39. Collaborations or working solo?

I’d actually genuinely love to collaborate with some other writers at some point but right now I’m a solo writer.

40. Do you have any rituals before uploading a fic?

I have an editing routine. Four separated visual readings, 3 separated audio readings, broken down to paragraphs as I transfer them where I’ll read again, and then a last minute check. Then I’ll often upload before I go to bed so I’m not constantly refreshing.

41. What is something you don't like about your writing?

I think it’s way too descriptive, but I just have so much to say.

43. Guilty pleasure tropes and scenarios?

Vulnerable men. I love a good vulnerable man, especially if they’re actually super strong but they had underneath vulnerabilities. I also love a good bantered relationship. (Especially kurtbastian).

44. Does fanart of your fanfic exist?

Not anymore but one of my now deleted teenaged Star Wars fanfics had fanart.

45. Do fanfics of your fanfic exist?

No they don’t, but I honestly prefer that.

46. Few long essay reviews or many short reviews?

Oh I couldn’t choose. Any feedback is fabulous feedback.

47. What fanfic of yours is truly underrated?

Most likely my Alex fanfic. Which you can read here: You Are My Sunshine… My Only Sunshine?

48. What is your favorite sentence that you've used in a fanfic?

“Charles knew Alex was an extremely tough and talented young man, but his longing for approval rolled off of him in desperate waves that the older mutant could practically taste, let alone process with his telepathy. It was a bitter and lonely feeling, prickly with thorns of trauma and desperation, and it ached Charles to know one of his very first gifted youngsters had such an intense emotional hunger that was a direct result of his upbringing, specifically due to his mutation. Beneath the quips and the witty comments, the snark and the tough frowns sprinkled in with an assortment of childish pettiness, Alex just wanted somebody to look at his achievement and quietly let him know that they were proud of him. Charles knew his blond hazard of a boy didn't need a big display of affection, a parade wasn't necessary, just a simple nod would be plenty enough for Alex to feel as though his behaviour and achievements were being not only recognised but appreciated. And Charles wanted nothing more than to give the young man exactly what he desired.”

This is from a piece of mine that is almost ready to be published! Just Charles being a typical dad!

49. Where do you draw inspiration from?

My friends and old literature for writing style, and obviously the core media of each fanfic.

Thanks again Sevvie Bell!! 💛💛

[rosetheex-editor]

[TRANSCRIPT START]

[The video starts as someone identified as Rose is heading down a hallway in a wheelchair, multiple doors rush by as Rose can be heard shouting.]

Rose: EDGAR! I WILL FIND YOU!

?: Rose calm down, you're still healing.

R: DON'T CARE NURSE GO FASTER! LEAD ME TO MY ACCIDENTALLY ADOPTIVE DAD!

?: Marina… You can use my name rose.

[The other voice now identified as Marina deeply sighs as Rose continues.]

R: OH SHIT OTHER PEOPLE SLOW DOWN!

[The audio cuts as a crash seems to damage the microphone for a moment.]

??: “Sorry, sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going, sorry…”

?: ”... Ow…”

Marina: Christian? Are you good? Is this person ok!

R: who? like genuinely who are you two?

?: “Ugh… Um… I’m uh… Called Daff most of the time, if you recognize that… I don’t remember my name…”

C(?): “I’m Christian, another nurse here. You must be Rose…”

[Rose fixes the phone so it faces the two now identified as Daff and Christian.]

R: nice to meet you both… but can you please move? I'm looking for my accidentally adopted dad.

?: “Coincidence..? I think not… Edgar, right?”

R: how the fuc- nevermind! not important what is important is what room is edgar in?

M: You never gave me a chance to say.

C: “Yeah, neither did this one… Someone was too excited to find him.”

?: “Shh. I’m so reasonable…”

M: Seems these two have more in common than a flower name or… nickname.

R: i will genuinely start hitting people with this wheelchair. i have not seen this man in a month and a half, please get out of my way or i'm breaking some toes.

?: “Right, sorry, let me just move my unusable body for you.”

C: “Oops.”

[Christian bends down to help them up to their feet, although they’re a bit shaky.]

R: wellllll if we're looking for the same person… why don't we go find him?

?: “That’s okay with me, as long as I’m not carried again. He has boney arms.”

C: “Hey…”

[Christian gently places them in a wheelchair almost identical to Rose’s.]

R: YO TWINS!!!!

M: I will take you back to your room.

R: no fun.

[Rose pouts as marina deep sighs again.]

?: “It’s okay, we’re totally twins.”

C: “Okay… Anyway, on the way now, I guess…”

[Christian starts leading the way to Edgar’s room.]

R: YIPPEE!

[After a few minutes of walking, a door creaks open, and the two are rolled into a very specific room.]

R: Y O U !

[Edgar looks up, Adam, his prosthetic, also turning towards the speaker, the two of them mid rock-paper-scissors, Adam is held up by long mechanical tendrils that emerge out of the back part of the prosthetic. Edgar’s eyes widen, looking between the two who’ve just appeared in his room]

Edgar: Uh, hi?

?: “You!!”

[The worker points at him quickly, then winces in pain at the motion.]

E: Me!

[He extends the arm missing the forearm, Adam takes it as his cue to reattach himself, doing so in mere seconds with a quiet click. He then notices the people behind the two, and winces, mouthing the words ‘don’t ask.’ to the two.]

R: oh right sorry about that… the missing arm.

E: Don’t worry about it, Rose. It’s fine.

R: in that case.

[Rose attempts to get up, falling in the process so fast that marina needs to catch her.]

M: Rose i swear to god stay seated!

R: fine!

[Rose moves over to Edgar's left side in the wheelchair.]

R: hey!

E: I… it’s been a while since we’ve spoken without someone looming behind us about to put one of us in danger, it feels… nice. I think.

[Rose smiles, before punching edgar in the left arm.]

R: DON'T EVER SCARE ME LIKE THAT AGAIN!

E: Yeah, I deserved that.

R: now for something i've waited a month and a half to do.

[Rose hugs edgar almost falling out of her wheelchair again, Rose sounds like she's about to cry as she starts talking again.]

R: I missed you… Dad.

[For a moment, Edgar freezes up, before leaning into the hug.]

R: But genuinely if you ever do that again i'm gonna wrap you in bubble wrap.

E: Got it.

[He looks back to the door, and beckons the worker over.]

?: “Hm…?”

[They had been shooing away the nurses (unsuccessfully) and almost missed him asking for them.]

?: “Uh… You sure…?”

E: Yes, I’m sure.

[Their expression changes to a look of surprise, and they attempt to roll themself over, succeeding after a couple seconds.]

?: “Um… What is it…?”

[Their voice carries nerves with it, despite them trying to play it off.]

E: Can I hug you, as well? I’m glad to see you’re alright, but I’m not sure if you’d want that.

[Their mouth falls open for a second, but then they close it and nod quietly, as if afraid they’d cry just by saying a single word.]

[Without another word, Edgar envelops them in a hug, his arms are shaky as he does.]

?: “I-I… Thank you… um… thank you.”

[They repeat themself a couple more times, quieter, as if unsure how to react to the kindness offered to them.]

R: ok back to being quiet… genuinely i think i've talked this volume so much i can't go higher for long… also GROUP HUG!

[Rose joins in on the hug, as Marina is just standing there with Rose's wheelchair.]

C: “Hey, so… Would it be unprofessional if we just like… stepped away for a second…?”

M: Probably? buttttttttttt we should give these three some time alone.

R: yeah leave please. we're doing something here.

?: “Yeah, um… Thank you, we’ll be safe and stuff…”

C: “Don’t say that, that makes it sound more suspicious.”

M: Rose don't leave again, I swear I will drag you back here by the hair. or ear.

?: “Bad idea on both parts. Her head is the thing that you’re trying to fix…”

R: my head isn't… THAT messed up.

?: “It would be after that, hah!"

[Marina and Christian walk out as someone can be heard running down the hall and into the room.]

J: “YOU!”

[Jenny’s hair is a mess, and her makeup is running down her face as she points into the room. She would be mistaken for a crazy person if the worker didn’t perk up when they saw her.]

E: Um, I feel a little scared.

R: YOU! must be jenny? please for the love of christ tell me i'm right.

J: “Yeah, sorry, the climb and run kind of killed my look today. It’s just me!”

[Jenny moves to take something from a bag on her back.]

J: “And the surprise I brought!”

R: LET'S GO! WHAT IS IT? THIS FEELS LIKE MY BIRTHDAY! though like early. also hey!

J: “Hey Rose! And Daff, don’t think I don’t see you over there… Anyway, tada!”

[Jenny opens her bag and reveals several outfits, one red, one green, and one a nice light blue. They all look hand sewn.]

R: HOLY SHIT! THAT'S INCREDIBLE!

J: “Thank you, thank you, I just sorta threw them together… I tried to make them as cute as I could without going overboard, I hope they’re nice!”

R: THEY ARE! god i haven't had… y'know new clothes on in a month… besides this.

[Rose points at the hospital gown, her hand clearly in frame as the camera shows the outfits made by jenny.]

J: “And that’s not all!”

[Jenny reaches into the bag and hands Rose a bag of chips.]

J: “Your request was heard.”

R: YIPPEE!! genuinely thank you.

J: “No problem at all, honey.. As for you.”

[Jenny slowly looks at Edgar.]

E: Uh oh.

J: “Also an outfit!”

[Jenny reveals a nice shirt that also appears to be hand sewn.]

J: “... It’s um… easy to get stains out of. Such as coffee.”

E: Oh– I… thanks.

R: HOLY SHIT THESE CHIPS ARE GOOD… granted i haven't had this brand since i was like 15 but like, anyway continue.

E: Uh, if you want, you can pull up a chair, there’s– wait, where the fuck is Adam. When did he–

R: oh right. adam… the arm I accidentally gave you….. because I ripped the last one off… ANYWAY!

E: It’s fine, Rose, he’s really good at Candy Crush.

?: “Also, weirdly enough, I was the one that called the police for that?? So I guess we just barely missed meeting each other then… Um… Anyway! Sorry, continue…”

R: yeah probably a good thing we didn't meet considering the state i was in… but yeah um NEW SUBJECT! before i start thinking about it too much.

[Edgar runs his hand through his hair, trying to think of something to say before the silence gets too awkward. His eyes widen slightly as he remembers something.]

E: Uh, did you guys know that there’s a ‘fandom’ for the weird show I was in? People keep calling me hot online, and I haven’t really gotten over that yet.

?: “Oh god, fandoms… You poor thing.”

E: Yeah, people write stories about me being in a relationship with Hetch, it’s fucking wild. Also, I have a plushie.

R: WHAT? YOU HAVE A GODDAMN PLUSHIE?

?: “And we don’t have one for free?”

R: i'm more pissed, I became a monster and didn't get a plushie. this some bullshit.

?: “And Hetch?? Of all people? Absolutely not.”

R: i hate hetch…

E: I think you also had one, Rose. I can’t really remember.

R: if i have a plushie i'm buying it… or i'll steal it idk.

E: Adam can do that for you, he’s really good at it.

J: “God, not the fanfictions… Never again.”

R: Wait, how tf do i have a plushie? i was never in a showfall thing?

E: Mai’s a bitch, that's how.

R: oh.

J: “Hey, um… Away from that topic, did they have any others…?”

E: Oh, there were tons. There were a bunch from that fucked up one from a while back, with Ranboo.

J: “... Who? I must have been out for that one, sorry…”

R: i remember ranboo… kinda i always thought ranboo was cool!

E: Yeah. Um. I agree.

J: “Um… Were there um… older characters? Like classic ones…?”

E: Possibly? Honestly the only thing that popped into my mind when you said ‘older’ was that puzzler guy. There’s one of him in there, for sure.

J: “Ah- yes, um… Yeah. Thank you, that’s um… Yeah.”

[The worker seems to be raising their eyebrows in surprise, but of course that’s not visible. Teasing approaches.]

E: Sorry, did you know him?

J: “Yeah, um, yeah I did, but um- yeah. Ahem. Sorry.”

[Rose attempts to speak but the audio and video feeds are cut out as the phone dies the last thing heard is Rose breathing in confusion.]

[END TRANSCRIPT]

[holly-louisexox]

Ribcage X Andy Bisersack- Part 6

Masterlist

"There's one thing you should know about me Delia Vincent, I don't date. Got no heart to break and emptiness is safe, keep it that way."

He was adamant in his choices...

...But then things changed.

Not my GIF

"Okay great job guys! Before you go... do whatever, I want you to run over the first section of Faithless please. I just need to measure up the audio recording of the bells to the drums so it's set and pre done ready for tonight." Delia explains speaking through her head set that was connected to the in ear pieces the guys were wearing; this venue was a fair bit bigger meaning the use of a head set was much easier to communicate with the guys rather than shouting and potentially causing damage to her throat.

The guys all gave a thumbs up towards Delia's direction of the sound booth to let her know they had received the message, then they proceeded to get into position for Faithless. Working with a pre recording/ background music and sounds for musicians to play alongside to was always a challenge for both musician and sound tech. Obviously the musicians had to make sure they kept in tempo for the recording but for someone like Delia controlling the sounds levels, it was a whole other story. Not only did she have to make sure the band's sound was balanced but she had to add the audio sound balance on top.

"That's perfect, thanks guys." Delia then speaks through her headset again after the band had finished performing up to the end of the first chorus as she had requested. "You're free to do whatever until VIP and show now."

Once she watches the guys walk off of stage and head towards what she was guessing the dressing room, she takes off the headset and plans to go and find Shevy. Delia was planning on going to grab a coffee quickly and she knew that Shevy would also want to do the same; over the length of tour so far, Delia had come to realise just how much coffee was a lifesaver.

Opening the door of the sound booth she was in, she was shocked to find Andy waiting on the other side of it. To say she became slightly nervous was an understatement.

"Andy, Hi." Delia smiles through her nerves.

"Hey. So um, I just wanted to say thank you again for the batman figure. It was actually a really great gift and, um, the gift giving was actually a pretty cool idea." Andy starts.

"You're welcome." Delia nods feeling extremely awkward and she could tell that Andy was also out of his comfort zone right now; hopefully this awkward conversation would not last too long and she could get going.

"Anyway, I um. I wanted to return the um, the idea, the motive, whatever. I found this little pin badge in a shop earlier. I saw it and thought I was being creative because, well, your name is Delia and it's a pin of a flower; a dahlia to be exact. I thought it would be creative but I realise now it's probably super lame and I'm sorry." Andy rambles nervously as he pulls out a small pin of a dahlia from the pocket of his trousers and hands it to Delia.

"No, Andy, this is..." Delia starts as she takes the pin from Andy's hand felling a small genuine smile creep on her face. "This is great. I really like the thought process behind it, it's quite cleverly done."  

"Look, truthfully, I've been an asshole; I know that." Andy admits awkwardly stuffing his hands in the pockets of his trousers. "I'm sorry. I realise that my actions have most likely made it difficult for you to get to know the rest of the band over these last few days. Basically don't expect me to be all chummy with you all of a sudden, but I'll try to be less rude and accept that you're a part of the team now."

"Thanks Andy, that means a lot." Delia continues to smile whilst being completely taken off guard by Andy's sudden nice gestures; never did she think that she would get an apology from this guy.

"I promise it's nothing personal, just..." Andy trails off not wanting to finish his sentence.

"It's okay, I get it. I know about Juliet." Delia nods understandably.

"Don't say her fucking name!" Andy snaps- so much for him being nice. "Whatever, I'll see you around I guess. Enjoy the flower." Andy then proceeds to storm off leaving Delia in complete shock of what just happened.

Suddenly Delia had lost her cravings for coffee. Trying to find Shevy would most likely result in her bumping into one of the band members and after that encounter with Andy, Delia thought it would be best to spend some time alone to process it all. Looking down at the pin badge in her hand again she feels that same smile spread across her face. Sure, Andy was a complete dickhead, but he had a good mind when it came to buying gifts. Delia had never had anyone put so much thought into a gift, even a small one such as this. Safe to say Delia was impressed by Andy's commitment despite his outburst afterwards.

---------------------

"There you are! Where have you been D? I haven't seen you all day!" Shevy gasps as she walks onto the bus to find Delia sitting on her bed scrolling through her phone. "Wait I can call you D right?"

"Yeah, D is fine." Delia nods shrugging as she puts her phone away watching Shevy sit on her own bed situated opposite Delia's. "I've just kind of been thinking over some things, nothing exciting."

"Awe, pretty flower, where'd you get it?" Shevy then snaps her attention to the flower pin that Delia had since attached to her denim jacket.

"Andy got it for me actually." Delia smiles awkwardly as she awaits Shevy's reaction.

"Wait what? Really?!" Shevy gasps in pure shock as she stares at Delia to see if she's joking.

"Yeah, really. He said he found it in a shop and it's a dahlia, he thought he was being creative because dahlia and Delia kind of sound similar." Delia explains to Shevy what Andy had said to her earlier that day; Shevy continues to stare at Delia in shock. "He apologised to me Shevy."

"What? Andy Biersack? The guy who has been a moody piece of shit for the last few years apologised to you?" Shevy screams slightly leaping up to join Delia sat on her bed. "You're kidding?"

"No, I'm not. He said he was sorry and that he was going to try to be less of a dick effectively." Delia explains which makes Shevy scream.

"Oh my god." Shevy gasps again. "Andy totally has the hots for you!"

"What? Shevy, no way, he does not!" Delia screeches grabbing her pillow and whacking Shevy round the head.

"Okay, rude, I'm going to ignore that you just did that." Shevy laughs grabbing the pillow from Delia and placing it back where it originally was. "But come on! Andy apologised to you. He's never even said sorry to me! There's definitely something about you that interests him."

"Oh my god Shevy, there is no way he's into me. He's simply trying to be civil after I was civil with him. Hell, I don't even know the guy and he doesn't know me." Delia becomes defensive; she was not sure why she felt she had to be defensive in front of Shevy but she had never been good at situations like this.

"Look, just be careful okay? Andy is a very attractive guy, I won't lie, but he has been known to sleep around. Obviously that's not a bad thing but it could complicate things for the tour, especially if you were to catch feelings." Shevy becomes serious as she looks out for her new friend. "I know you've only known of him for a few days but trust me when I say that tours like this bring people very close together very quickly."

"Trust me Shevy, I have no intentions of sleeping with him. I'm here to work and I enjoy my job, I don't have time for men right now nor am I interested right now." Delia explains. "Anyway, I'm ready to get some sleep, we're going to start moving soon and we have a show in Biloxi tomorrow."

"Okay yes that's very true." Shevy nods before grinning wildly. "But if anything more does happen I want all of the gossip!"

"Okay, fine, deal. Now can we please go to sleep?" Delia laughs slightly.

"Fine." Shevy groans before returning to her own bunk to grab her pyjamas that were placed under her pillow, Delia doing the same.

So it was weird that Andy apologised and has suddenly decided to try and be nicer; Delia definitely did not expect that from him. But what was his motive? Surely Shevy was not right in her ideas. It must have something to do with the fact that Delia was not about to put up with his bullshit this whole time and had stood her grounds on one occasion. Yes, that surely must be it.

[foreverdjh]

my experience meeting dan!!

this is gonna be a long one …

okay so this might be incoherent because i’m still processing but here we go

to meet dan has been the #1 dream of mine for years so to finally get to do it was everything to me

the meet and greet

i honestly thought i’d be more anxious than i was for the m&g but i genuinely just don’t think it felt real, which tbh made it easier to cope with

okay i basically threw my phone on the ground to get a proper hug but it was totally worth it!!

so anyway he’s the absolute sweetest!! he kept making conversation even though i was literally giving nothing in return for the first like 20 seconds

he signed my book and then we took about six photos which i’m not gonna be sharing in full at the moment but look at how pretty he is!!

i screen recorded the whole thing with audio but unfortunately my recording cut after the photos (aka before i remembered how to have social skills)

he basically thanked me for being tall (5’8) because it made him feel “not unshort” (did he forget the word tall?? idk) and then i told him how much of an impact he’s had on my life and he was like “well i’m sorry for the procrastination but i hope the good outweighed the bad”

i forgot to give him the letter/drawings i’d prepared which is disappointing but overall the meet and greet couldnt have gone much better!!

the preshow hangout

the preshow was my favourite part!! all of the questions were really funny and once again he was literally just so nice!!

i asked him about anakin skywalker aka my favourite fictional character of all time and he gave an absolutely amazing answer which you can listen to here and then to make things better he referenced anakin again when answering somebody else’s question here

and there’s our preshow pic which i honestly don’t think i’m even in (i was at the aisle seat so idk if i fit in the photo)

the show

now without spoiling anything, dan is an absolutely incredible performer!! i found the show genuinely entertaining and you can tell he really thrives in that onstage environment and as a theatre kid, i’m just so proud of him for doing what he’s wanted to do for a long time!!

so overall this was the best night!! im so proud of dan and eternally grateful for this opportunity

[deckards-audio-corner]

Belated Mid-Year Review

How is it September already? It genuinely feels like we should still be coming out of winter, yet fall is just around the corner! Time really flies. I have been meaning to post a general progress overview for months now. I have half written drafts dating back to May. Better late than never I suppose. This year has been, overall, a good year for me so far, yet I can’t help but feel I’m incredibly behind in everything I’ve wanted to do this year. It’s a never ending battle for me to actually look back and be happy with the work I’ve gotten done. This year has been one of my better years, I think. To give a quick summary of what Audio Elk has gotten done this year:

I released a new paid sound library, Lewd Props, which (in my opinion) has some of the best foley recordings I’ve done in a long time.

I released two free sound libraries, a footsteps library and an ambiance library, onto Itch.io, along with providing additional free updates to both a few months after release.

I’ve been working with a furry Game Dev doing creature sound design for their project (one creature is nearing complete!)

I launched my new website earlier in the year (and, naturally, have already begun working on a new design…)

I’ve done a commission or two here and there as well, as long as the occasional audio pass just for fun. All in all a better year than I remember it being so far. I’ve fallen behind on some of my other projects, mostly as a result of a long struggle with the ability to focus and reset my brain after work. I’ve gotten back into writing again, and am working on a few short stories that I’d love to share eventually. I’m also in an on again off again process of restructuring the book I wrote last year into a story I’d be happy with putting out there. I’m also working on scripts for my audio drama projects again. Currently in talks with a voice actor to produce my ‘proof of concept’ script, and I’m really starting to feel that creative juice flowing again. No promises on when the short stories will be done, but I’m hoping to have this proof of concept out by the end of the year, assuming no unexpected barriers appear. I will prepare another update as projects near completion, so I can provide a proper announcement when the time comes. Until then, I hope the fall season treats you well, and if I don’t post again by then, have a Happy Halloween! 

Posted using PostyBirb

[mushiemellows]

You're a dub watcher? Why?/What do you like about it?

I am a dub watcher, but I don’t hold strong feelings about it. It mostly comes down to audio processing, I like being able to focus one the visual information without having to keep up with text. But I know it isn’t perfect, and that I am watching a translated text at the end of the day. (Ex: I’m in Wano right now so there’s all those moments of like, shrug guess I just don’t have the cultural touch points for whatever that joke was).

But if I’m rewatching an episode on my own I’ll usually put on the sub. I think there’s a lot of fun extra information that can be gained from it and there’s a few jokes/puns I didn’t get until hearing it in context. (Ex: I know there’s a lot of back and forth on Yao’s Franky compared to Seitz’s dub, but honestly what it comes down to is that they’re making two different jokes with the signifiers of their accents depending on what culture you’re coming from. If Dub Franky kept the trait of rolling his R’s, I listening in English wouldn’t necessarily know what information was trying to be conveyed with that character tick. So instead they give him the beauty of the exaggerated SoCal accent because they can get more niche once in English. You lose a bit of the joke, and it takes something on the surface level away from the Super, but that’s why it’s good to look at additional sources too)

I wouldn’t say I LIKE the dub particularly, though I am fond of it. When The One Piece comes out I probably will have some reservations toward the new cast. My partner and I were watching 4kids compilations last night (an era I was not allowed to participate in at the time because of idk gender I think) and I was thinking about how interesting it is how much power just changing the audio track does.

I know Americans can get really obnoxious about this kind of stuff, but I genuinely think there’s no shame in watching it in the language I comprehend in the same way I think it’s fine to watch it in Spanish and Portuguese and German. I think it’s actually really cool that this text is translated into so many languages.

Spielberg has talked before about how Lupin III’s Castle of Cagliostro works as universal inspiration because you don’t need to know what’s happening through the dialogue alone, I think one piece is similar. Universality is a big reason why it translates so well. The bing bongs will bing bong no matter what language you speak. But I can’t watch the bing bongs if I’m reading, so there’s a give and take hahaha.