#idk if it’s just cause they’re in my car and I don’t tend to drive my car very far at a time? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

oboevallis · 3 years

Text

lost

sorry this is so long, i don’t know if it really makes sense but i was talking with him grandmother and she told me this story about how we went to the beach with the family and we went walking and it was late and high tide and we got absolutely completely lost and she didn’t speak great english and had no phone and we were just walking trying to find the hotel which all look the same while everyone was looking for us and that kinda inspired this story (lol sorry i feel like i do a lot of stories based on events that have happened to me so idk if that’s boring or not ill stop talking now tho)

Amelia quietly slipped out of bed once she realized her son was awake and babbling to himself, and she knew if she didn’t quickly attend to him, he’d start wailing causing the rest of the house to wake up. As much as she savored her sleep she enjoyed the early morning feeds, no one else was up, allowing her to be solely focused on her son. She quietly slipped out the back door to get settled on the lawn chair, and was startled when she saw Maureen, almost forgetting the two had come to visit.

“Good morning.” Maureen smiled, nursing her thermos of coffee.

“Morning.” Amelia reciprocated settling in the chair next to her.

“Hope you don’t mind I came back here. Eric is in a work call and I tend to distract him, and I just found myself out here.”

“No not at all.” The neurosurgeon responded truthfully as she guided her son to her breast, which he eagerly latched onto. “Thanks again for taking the kids for the day, it was much appreciated.”

“Of course. We had a great time with them.” The older woman smiled kindly, putting Amelia at ease. She tried so hard to make a good impression on her boyfriends parents and now felt at ease knowing they thought she was good enough for their son. “I don’t know how you and Link do it, especially in a pandemic. I mean you can’t take em to the park, museum, or anything.”

“Me either.” The woman absentmindedly chuckled, she was just taking it a day at a time. The women turned around once hearing the door open to reveal the oldest child.

“Auntie Amelia, I have a proposition for you.” Zola smiled as she walked further into the backyard still in her pajamas.

“A proposition huh?” The woman chuckled, it always impressed her when her niece would use a vocabulary word out of reach for a girl her age in the proper manner.

“Yep, I think we should not do school today, stay in our pjs, build a fort in the living room, and have a movie marathon.” The girl announced jumping on the balls of her feet, as much as Amelia wanted to oblige she knew she couldn’t.

“We can this weekend, but I’m sorry we can’t just not do school.”

“Ugh, but mom would let us.” This caused Amelia to laugh.

“We both know your mom would not in any capacity let you miss school if you weren’t sick.”

“It was worth a shot.” Zola shrugged.

“It was, but I’ll let you pick what we have for dinner tonight.”

“Pizza?”

“You’ve got it.”

“Do you think Link will still help me with my report.”

“I’m sure he’d love to, just let him sleep a bit more and once he wakes up ask him.” Zola nodded and ran back into the house, Amelia sighed in relief there wasn’t a tantrum.

“You’re good with kids, especially remediating a situation.” Maureen commented, admiring the younger woman more.

“I try.” Amelia chuckles, Maureen has only seen the kids well behaved and not in their tantrum state.

“So, I hate to be blunt, but my son doesn’t tell me a thing, are the two of you planning on getting married?”

“Oh, umm.” Amelia blushed awkwardly shifting her son. “Not at the moment, we’re going to wait until things calm down a bit.”

“As long as it’s in the cards.”

“I think it will be.” The neurosurgeon smiled, thinking about Links plans to get married in the French Quarter of New Orleans.

________________________________________

Bailey had an hour break before his next Zoom started up, so Link took the opportunity to take him out on their daily walk and get his energy out around the block while he tried to lull his son. This time though his father tagged along, he still had a lot of resentment towards his parents but was trying his best to be civil.

“That kid almost has as much energy as you did before..” Eric trailed off, but Link knew what he meant. Before his cancer tore his family apart, and made him a shell of the kid he was,but he was determined to only talk about the good things.

“Yeah he keeps Amelia and I on our toes.” Link quickly said, so no talk of his cancer came up.

“I know your upset with your mother and I, but we just want to help. And rebuild our family.” The ortho surgeon did his best to not roll his eyes at the statement, he couldn’t understand why they couldn’t have worked it out in the first place, why they decided to track along across multiple states during a global pandemic, and why they had to keep freaking his girlfriend out with the concept of marriage.

“I really don’t have the energy to talk about this right now, why don’t we just change the subject.” Before Eric could agree his sons phone started to ring. “Crap this is the hospital, I’ve gotta go in. Bailey! We gotta get home” He called up ahead to the boy who was scootering.

“It’s alright I’ll keep walking with them.”

“You sure?” The man asked wearily.

“Of course you know me I love a good walk.” He took the baby out of his sons arms and Link wrapped the baby snug across the older mans chest.

“Thanks dad!” He smiled as he jogged back to the house to grab his car and head to the hospital, while Eric caught up along side of Bailey as he turned another corner.

________________________________________

After Amelia finished helping Ellis with her math homework she realized it had been well over an hour since the boys had gone for their walk it typically lasted 40 minutes and the house was wearily quiet. She made her way downstairs to be met with Maureen folding the pile of laundry.

“Oh I’m sorry, you don’t have to do that.”

“Please, I don’t mind.”

“Do you know where the boys are?” Amelia asked feeling her anxiety start to rise as there was no indication of them being home.

“I assume they’re still walking, they haven’t walked in yet.” The neurosurgeon pulled out her phone and tapped on her boyfriends contact to be met with a scrub nurse who informed her, he was in fact scrubbing in on an emergency surgery.

“Link is at work.” Amelia informed Maureen rather confused, Link always told her before he left the house, but assumed he was so excited by the notion of a surgery and left the boys with his father.

“I’ll try Eric.” Once the older woman dialed the number they heard ringing coming from the coffee table where he left his phone. “I’m always telling him he needs to carry his phone around, he’s terrible with remembering it.” The woman huffed obviously starting to get a little startled.

“Okay.” Amelia took a deep breath. “I’m going to go look for them, would you mind staying with the girls?”

“Not at all.”

“Thanks.” Amelia quickly made her way towards the door and grabbed her keys from the hook, noting her boyfriend failed to bring the diaper bag as it was next to the door. Nonetheless she got into her car and tried the best to calm herself down, though all she could think about were worst case scenarios.

______________________________________

“Do you have any idea where we are?” Eric asked Bailey as he walked beside him, the boy had gotten tired and now just tracked the scooter along side them.

“No we usually don’t go this far.” Baileys fearless persona faltering, he assumed by this point he was late for class and was going to be in big trouble with his aunt and teacher.

“Everything kinda looks the same huh?”

“Yeah.” Bailey nodded nervously biting his nail, a habit he’d recently picked up from his aunt.

“Hey bud, it’s going to be fine we’ll find our way home.” Internally he was cursing himself for not bringing his phone along with him. After some more walking they found themselves on a street with convenience stores, Merediths house wasn’t far from the heart of Seattle but they were definitely far from where they were supposed to be. He was tempted to walk into a store and ask someone for directions but he didn’t have a mask and had two small children so that wasn’t an option. “Alright, let’s go back to that last street and make a left, maybe that right was a bad idea.”

“We’ll never get home.” Bailey said hopelessly.

“We will don’t worry about it.” And if things couldn’t get any worse the baby had started to fuss which in no time would turn into fill on crying.

Amelia slowly drove through the neighborhood looking for the three, not knowing she was on the opposite part of the neighborhood from them. Meanwhile after aimlessly walking and multiple turns Bailey started to recognize where they were and lead the way home.

“Where the hell have you been?” Maureen immediately asked as they walked through the door taking the now crying baby from her fiancé. “You need to have your phone on you!”

“Just strolling.” Eric responded nonchalantly.

“No we were lost. Really lost.” Bailey corrected as he ran into the kitchen to find something to eat since he missed lunch. Maureen followed taking out a bottle for Scout and calling her daughter in law informing her they were home, she heard a large sigh of relief through the other line.

Amelia happened to pull into the driveway the same time as Link, she wiped her stray tears as she had gotten herself into such a state and slammed her car door.

“Hey, where were you?” The ortho surgeon smiled brightly, he had just completed a rather simple surgery but just being in the OR at any capacity was heaven.

“Where was I? I don’t know, where was I?” Amelia chuckled on disbelief. “Where the hell were you? I spent two hours driving around trying to find your father and the boys.”

“What they never came home?” Link asked in a panic.

“They just did. They were lost and struggled to find their way home so they were aimlessly walking around while I aimlessly drove around in the wrong direction.”

“Damn it, how could my dad do this?” The man ran a stressed hand through his hair.

“This isn’t your dads fault it’s yours!”

“Huh?”

“Oh don’t act stupid. First you don’t even take the diaper bag in the walk with all the essentials and a first aid kit and then you up and leave for a surgery without even texting me.” The man was about to interject but Amelia held up her hand. “And you let your father continue the walk, even though the man has been to Seattle like two times and doesn’t know his way around.”

“I thought they were just gonna go the rest of the way up the block and back, and that he’d tell you where I went. That’s what Bailey and I do everyday.”

“Have you been living with Bailey for the past four months? Or has it just been me? Bailey will just keep riding that scooter no matter what and go any which way paying no attention to his surroundings, of course Eric is just gonna follow him around since it probably seemed he knew where he was going. You know what I can’t even look at you, I don’t want to say something I’m going to regret.” Amelia walked past him and quickly made her way into the house, to be met with her sons cries and quickly took the baby from Maureen cradling him closely, the baby immediately calming.

“I am so so sorry Amelia.” Eric apologized obviously upset.

“It’s not your fault.” Amelia forcefully smiled, she wasn’t entirely mad at him mostly at her boyfriend. Link then walked through the front door to be met with his mother scolding him.

“And what the hell were you thinking? Not telling anyone you were going to the hospital, and leaving your father with two kids in a place that’s foreign to him. Is surgery really all you can think about?” For the past couple of months he’d been complaining to his mother how much he hated not being able to operate.

“She would’ve done the same thing.” Link quickly pointed to his girlfriend who was cradling their son in the couch.

“What are we five?” Amelia asked when her boyfriend accused her in such a manner. “And I would’ve had the decency to tell you I was leaving and made sure you had the kids handled before I left.” Link backtracked and took a deep breath.

“Alright how about we just take a moment, they’ve been found so it’s fine.” The tired mother rolled her eyes and walked up the stairs with her baby, not in the mood for her boyfriends best case scenario talk.

“This could have been prevented by the both of you.” Maureen pointed to the two men who’s heads hung in shame.

“You should’ve made it clear to your father it was just up the block and back, and you should’ve texted the mother of your child.” She then directed her attention towards her husband. “And you need to pay more attention and keep your phone on you.”

“Sorry.” The two men answered in unison, ashamed to have messed up so greatly.

_______________________________________

The rest of the night was foreignly quiet, Bailey was exhausted and the couple was avoiding one another. After everyone had dinner together Maureen and Eric retreated back to the RV and the kids were all tucked in their beds. Once Link walked into the bedroom after his shower he sighed realizing Amelia wasn’t there. He quietly trekked into the nursery to be met with Amelia asleep in the rocking chair and her hand inside the crib, their sons hand was loosely holding her index finger. He would’ve smiled at the sight of he didn’t know what she was doing, her plan was to sleep in here tonight to avoid having to be in the same bed as him. He carefully removed her hand and picked her up out of the chair.

“Nooo.” Amelia sleepily groaned. “I’m sleeping in here.”

“No you’re not, your going to sleep in our bed.” He softly affirmed as he laid her down on her side of the bed. Once he moved to the other side of the bed and got settled his girlfriend was now wide awake and turned to face him.

“What happened today can never ever happen again.”

“It won’t I promise.”

“You know we’re so good at communicating within our relationship but not so great outside of it.” Link chuckled nodding in agreement. “You need to tell me when you get called in, and you need to let others know what the plan is, so they’re not getting lost in Seattle woth two small children.”

“I promise.” Link grabbed her hand in a reassuring manner. “I am so so sorry for what happened today, I was just so excited to be operating and I just lost my mind and didn’t think about anything outside of that operation.”

“I know this is hard for you, your not used to kids in the capacity that I am. You didn’t grow up in a loud house and you don’t have a large quantity of nieces and nephews. Your used to dealing with the occasional peds patient for like twenty minutes. I’m not saying your bad with kids I mean the peds floor loves you, it’s just this is a lot really quickly and non stop.”

“Wow you just articulated how I feel perfectly and I haven’t been able to even form a cohesive thought of what Im feeling.”

“Hmm, maybe that’s because you just sleep so you don’t have to think about feelings.” Link chuckled, sliding over to kiss her sweetly.

“I love you.” Link affirmed. “And I’m so sorry about today.”

“Tomorrow will be better.” Amelia agreed. “And I love you even more.”

“Impossible.”

#amelia shepherd #amelink #atticus lincoln #baby amelink #greys anatomy #greysanatomy #ellis shepherd #zola shepherd #bailey shepherd #scout lincoln #marueen lincoln #eric lincoln #greys anatomy fanfic #greys fanfic #marureen lincoln

16 notes · View notes

cloveroctobers · 4 years

Text

ELLADINE SARABI

IG info/bio: @/ellasardineabi | 18.5k followers | Artist | i was born with glass bones and paper skin♡

25 years old

Born & raised in Cardiff, Wales 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿

Father was in the n*vy and moved his family around a few times until he and his wife came to a agreement that it would be best for the family to grow up in one solid place

whereas he would leave for months at a time living elsewhere

Which was hard on the family at times since he is viewed as the rock of the family

He eventually left the n*vy after serving 20 years & was so thankful to, he hated it and how it messed with him mentally

He’s also of Iranian heritage

Her mother is of German heritage

Has her own restaurant that serves authentic German food

Both of her parents instilled hard work, discipline, generosity, and how to be practical in their children

Elladine is the middle child

Has a brother that is ten years older than her and then a younger sister who is seven years behind her

Canon: there is currently a discussion going on if they are going to bring their (maternal) nan/mam-gu home since the nursing home isn’t providing the proper care their nan needs

Her mother has a rocky relationship with her mother that she doesn’t like to discuss with her children but her husband knows all about it

Her nan has Alzheimer's and is becoming violent

it has become difficult seeing her most days

Elladine came into glassblowing after being involved in many classes in secondary such as workshop class

which became her fav since she was able to manipulate many materials such as metal, wood, and glass

She also took a auto body class which was interesting but she wasn’t too thrilled about it. Got away with a B- but knew she could do better if she really wanted to but she didn’t need the class to graduate so allow it

Currently works in a glass studio where her work is displayed/sold and she’s one of the main ones that makes great profit

has bought her own space for her own studio and is slowly making it to her liking with her assistant, yes she’s got one!

Hopes to be in that space within the next 6 months...it would have been a little sooner if we weren’t dealing with a global p*ndemic!!! but ya know life f*cking sucks sometimes!!!1!!:) especially if people don’t gaf

Moved back in with her parents so that she could not only help with her nan but get her studio ready, her parents approved since she was working towards something and realized her talent

I definitely see elladine going through a grunge phase and it probably still slips out every now and then lol

Her childhood room is still in shades of raspberry, gray, and a deep purple

always been plus-sized/fuller than the rest but it’s literally hereditary since her mom is built the same way who got it from her dad

Her family never made her feel ashamed as they shouldn’t and none of her true friends made her feel different since they were all of different sizes!!! besides who’s really friends with someone because of their bodies? Ur really ugly if that’s how u roll js

Always a respectful student and not too afraid to spark up a convo with you but can be a little nervous if the person is more of a “I have to warm up to you first” since she’ll feel like she’s annoying you if she carries the convo at first

Takes her time in relationships because she’s scared of getting hurt, cause breakups are not fun! Especially if theyre your friend on top of that

Although Friendship breakups are much worse let’s be honest here!!!

Has noticed that a few of her exes like to bring up that she’s controlling or too bossy in relationships and that makes her a little insecure since she doesn’t view it that way??

She knows what she wants and likes things a certain way, and she can see how it can kinda come off that way based on how she approaches/says things and tries to be better at toning it down and not being offensive to her significant others

Always has a plan and likes to follow it, she definitely keeps to-do lists on a daily

Takes trips to see Nicky often and vice-versa, every moment they spend together feels like it’s meant to be, even when it’s them just simply chilling in each other’s spaces, he’s truly one of her best friends and he feels like the missing part of her life

He offered for her to move in with him but elladine didn’t accept it since she wanted to be there to help with her nan and in fact—she wanted to be the one to ask HIM to move in with her

but if they make it long enough, they’ll go house hunting together...maybe

I get Shawn/Angela relationship vibes from them (boy meets world for those who aren’t aware of this couple and I’m not just saying this because they’re interracial as well lol) did I say this already about someone else? Brain fart lol

everyone relationship has their flaws so when they hit a bump in the road...elladine immediately wants to fix it but it comes off as more critiquing, moodiness/blaming the other

while Nicky can be defensive/argumentive/a little condescending on his end

To get through it, they normally go on a walk together in complete silence until they’re ready to speak again or they take a break from each other

I think words of affirmation is her love language

Taurus sun + Virgo moon + Capricorn rising?

“The girl on the motorcycle” is one of her fav films — no this is not metaphoric to her love life

Loves watching things with captions on since she always finds herself doing something else while watching anything (which irks Nicky a little bit but that’s just the way elladine is and he loves her so he deals with it)

Will rewind something if she missed it too

Canon: never had morning sex before

but can now say she has ;) & understands the pros people say about it and it outweighs the cons in her book

Will start the whole song over too if she missed her fav part in it

She also enjoys billiards since her brother used to work in a pool hall and when he had to watch her because she was “too young” in her words to stay home by herself he would take her there even tho technically she wasn’t supposed to be there but he was screwing his boss’s daughter so it was quite fine

her sister has a crush on Gary & ships elladine with him, which they joke about every now and then + he doesn’t follow her back, which is okay! Not a big deal but her sister keeps sliding in his dms (he’s now single)

She NEVER thought she would be on THE love island and wasn’t that confident that she’d find a real love that carried on outside of the show but Nicky has proven her wrong 🥲

She’s 5’5–5’6

Probably shops at Zara & top shop and has no issue picking pieces that flatter her “pear” figure, she loves all that is of her body: the pudge, love handles, cellulite and all (she’s very confident and won’t let anyone see her moments of doubt when it comes to her frame)

Loves mythology but will tell bill stfu if he comes near her trying to argue about anything in that subject

Very competitive and will rush through certain things, leaving one to think that she’ll fail somewhere but rarely does

If she’s not near or away from the mountains or the sea for long period of time she gets very moody!!! Guess that’s the Welsh in her huh?

Loves fireplaces, they’re super cozy and very romantic if you catch ella’s drift 😏

Probably smells like jasmine & pink pepper idk

Wants to travel to Iceland one day

Knows her way around a car but dreads having to get it fixed or fixing it herself?

Loves driving until her road rage kicks in? Oh you’re gonna go around her to get in front of her? Never that. She’ll always be in front of you and will break check you if you try her “Drewgi” she mutters

Early riser and goes to bed early too lol

She’s the crying drunk lmao

Automatically vieve has become one of her best friends from the villa but it deff didn’t feel forced like it normally would have just because their bfs have a podcast together, they talk about everything together. EVERYTHING! It feels like she’s the big sister she never had, yet they’re only a year apart lol

They have ft sleepovers and man is it fun!

Forgave lily but at the same time can’t fully see herself being friends with her like vieve tried to encourage before they went on the yacht...sorry everything can’t be Kumbaya over here sis

It sucks to say but it was easier? She doesn’t know if that’s the right term or not... for her to forgive rafi than it was lily and it’s fucked up but that’s the way it is. It’s not like she contacts him on seperate messages or anything like that! She’ll talk to him via group chat and that’s pretty much it. She knows it was all part of the show and production’s bs for ratings but that doesn’t mean it still didn’t hurt

Wishes him success on his shows/movies but doesn’t engage/watch them

What does she post? I feel like she posts maybe three times a month and a lot are outfit pics but tends to go live more so to chat with the people! She’ll also show all what glassblowing entails while chatting away! She loves that part and is pretty open about things but knows how to keep some things private

Personally wasn’t the biggest fan of season 1 but admits she wishes she had mc’s balls in terms of what she would have done if she was in elladine’s place when lily picked Nicky, “ugh! I wish I had her strength rising through my veins in that moment. Absolute riot. Adore her.”

‘“Licky” is a ugly ass ship name anyways so who’s really winning here?!’

Celeb crushes? Iwan Rheon, Henry Zaga, Anthony Welsh, jason derulo, & LaRoyce Hawkins

Listens to: soleima, Marisa Maino, Ava Max, poppy, Caroline polachek, Donny Hathaway, Phil Good, & SAINt JHN

Anthem — M.I.A. “Bad Girls”

#litg #litg3 #litg s3 #litg elladine #litg Nicky #litg genevieve #litg oc #litg mc #litg headcanon #litg headcanons #litg rafi #litg boat party #litg lily #litg moodboard #I like elladine and I’m in love with her design #wish they did more with her and many of the other characters too!#I hope this was sorta satisfactory lol!#can you tell I’m running out of artists and celebs/well known ppl lol!

31 notes · View notes

surveys-at-your-service · 4 years

Text

Survey #335

“on my forehead, a birthmark / remove it with the kiss of a knife / even if it causes me to die”

Do you recover well from surgery? Judging by the two surgeries I've had, oh yeah. I was hyper as hell when I came home from getting tubes put in my ears as a little kid, even though the doctor said I'd be very sleepy. Then, after my cyst removal, I was put on very strong painkillers but was still warned it was going to be a painful recovery, when it totally wasn't. I literally only took painkillers the first day. What addictions have you had? Caffeine, technology. Would you change your name if you became famous? Nah. If Cupid were real, would you hire him to make someone love you? No. I don't want somebody forced to love me. Ever been to an auction? No. Which word(s) do you generally use to describe someone attractive? (e.g. “fit”, “sexy”) It kinda varies with gender. Women I tend to call "beautiful" or "gorgeous," sometimes "hot" or "cute," while men I usually refer to as "handsome" or "hot"/"sexy." The last person you kissed - are they older or younger than you? She's a bit younger. When was the last time someone wanted you to do something, and you refused? Hm. I dunno. I have a hard time saying "no," so. When was the last time you had Pop Tarts? What flavour were they? Many months ago; I kinda stopped eating them because they're truly not filling and just a load of sugar that veils itself as an actual breakfast choice. But anyway, I liked the chocolate sundae ones. Have you ever felt a temperature below 0? No. Did you ever play Spyro? I LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!! SPYRO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Those games were my CHILDHOOD, and it's half the reason I'm dying for a PS4 to play the remastered trilogy. Speaking of which, it'd be awesome if they remade the The Legend of Spyro trilogy as well. I might just like those games more than the originals, but that's a bold statement I'm unsure about. Have you ever dated someone who was of a foreign origin? I dated a Hispanic guy for less than a day. Have you ever read any of your idols’ books/autobiographies? Ozzy Osbourne's, yes. I'm just fucking waiting for Mark to write one, but he's always said he has so little interest in writing about his life. DO IT, YOU FUCK. Do you own any succulents? No. I think they're pretty, though. Do you have a drone? No. What’s your favorite Netflix series? *shrug* What is something a lot of people like but you don’t? Summertime. The heat, the humidity (at least here), the sunburn from just standing outside for ten minutes... I hate all of it. The ONLY two things I enjoy about summer is swimming and then flowers, though spring is the more floral season here anyway. Do you have revenge fantasies that you never actually play out? They've... happened. Did your first real significant other change you at all? Pretty sure forever. Are you waiting to have sex until you’re married? Once upon a time, that was the plan. Now, nah. I'd just want to be in a healthy, stable, and long-term relationship. What do you think about divorce? It's sad, but necessary for some people in order to be happy, which everyone has the right to be. I used to be very firmly against divorce except in extreme cases like abuse, etc., and I'm still definitely no fan of it and think couples should do their best to work things out, but it's incredibly unfair to believe that someone should be stuck for the rest of their life with a person they just don't love anymore. Getting married can be a mistake; don't damn people forever to be chained to their bad decisions. Do you remember the first time your heart broke? What was the reason? It was probably when Dad just abandoned us. What's the worst prank someone has ever done to you? I don't think anyone's ever pulled a sick joke on me. Have you ever seen someone sleepwalk? Yes; my little sister deadass tried to walk outside late at night. Thank God I was on the computer in the living room and stopped her. What song are you listening to right now? I just turned "Mutter" by Rammstein on. When is the last time you cursed? I'm not re-reading, but I have probably cursed fifty times in this survey already. It's so deeply ingrained into my vocabulary. Are there any words on your shirt? No; it's just a plain gray tank top. Why do you forward forwards? I never do because they annoy the fuck out of me. How many people are you interested in at the moment? Just one in a healthy and logical way. I can't be truly interested in Jason because like come on I haven't spoken to him in four whole years. My PTSD just ensures I never forget the memory of who he was, who probably no longer even exists. I mean, look how much I'VE changed in four years. Do you know any mechanical stuff about cars? Nnnnope. Who was the last person (apart from family) that you spent time with? What did you get up to? Apart from family, I have no idea. If you have pets, when was the last time one of them got on your nerves? Venus never does, but Roman can get on my nerves sometimes when I don't let him lay on me when I'm on the laptop in bed. He's a large cat (not overweight, just a big male cat) and blocks the screen big time unless he lies down properly, which he doesn't always do. He still tends to win when he tries to come over, but sometimes I'll block him with my arm, and this spoiled brat will actually slap it a few times before walking away lmao. Would you rather live in a house with a swimming pool or an indoor cinema? Absolutely a pool. I want one badly. Do you own a credit card? If so, do you currently owe any money on it? Could you afford to pay it off tomorrow if necessary? No. How many hours of sleep do you typically get each night? Is that enough to function or would you rather have more? Especially lately, I don't get nearly enough. Like at the time I'm answering this question, it's 4 AM, and I've been up for almost a couple hours. I struggle with falling asleep, I will ALWAYS wake up at least once in the night, and I jerk awake from nightmares regularly still. It's a big reason why I pretty much require naps. Does your house have a loft/basement? Are they functional or do you just use them for storage? We only have an attic. Do you suffer from road rage? What kind of thing tends to set you off or wind you up while driving? No. I'm way too timid of a driver to get that outwardly pissy about stupid people. I'd just judge them in silence, haha. What kind of animal did you last see in the wild? Is that a common sight where you live? Because of just how common they are, I'm going to assume this excludes birds, in which case it was probably a squirrel? Yeah, the normal brown ones are common. Do you post a lot on social media? If so, what kind of thing do you tend to post on there? Since I was fucking stupid enough to post a suicide note on Facebook (I don't want to hear a goddamn thing about "attention seeking," I genuinely wanted to say goodbye), I almost never, ever, share things about my personal life. Even before, it was rare for me to actually share what's going on with me. All I really do now is share relatable, wholesome, or funny shit I find, as well as political things I'm in firm agreement with. What are some habits you have in common with your parents? I pace like my dad, and it drives people crazy because it apparently makes them anxious? I can't think of an obvious one I have with Mom, but I'm sure one exists. Where's your favourite place to swim - the ocean, a pool, river, lake etc? I feel safest and most clean in a pool, but c'mon, swimming in the ocean is so much fun. When you're saving your place in a book, do you use a bookmark or fold your pages down? Or something else? It depends on the book, it seems. Especially if someone else owns it, like in school or something. Is any part of your body hurting at the moment? Is there a specific incident that caused the pain? My legs always hurt. I've shared enough as to why; it wasn't an actual, singular "incident." What was the last thing to make you laugh out loud? OH MY FUCKING GOD. So in group therapy the other day, one of the girls had her bearded dragon out, and he was being aggressive. I think he tried to bite her aND SHE SAID WITHOUT REALIZING HER MIC WAS ON, "fucking dickhead," and everyone d i e d. She's a really cool chick, I'll miss her when I'm finished with PHP. Who was the last person you heard sing? Myself, surprisingly enough. I barely ever sing. Do you bite your lips a lot? Yes, especially when they're dry. .-. What part of your body would you never get pierced? Anyone who gets a piercing "down there" has a greater pain tolerance than this bitch right here. Have you ever dated someone with tattoos? Juan had quite a few. I don't remember if Tyler did... but I think maybe a The Legend of Zelda-related one? Have you ever failed gym in school? No. Are you scared of dogs? No; I love dogs. What is the saddest movie you’ve ever seen? Man, idk, I'm a little bitch when it comes to emotional movies. The Boy in the Striped Pajamas is high up there, as is of course Johnny Got His Gun. Old Yeller, too. Which one of your friends is most likely to be famous one day? Why? Sara's gonna write a fuckin book series ok you can't convince me otherwise. What is the worst present you have ever gotten? Damn dude, what an ungrateful question. I'm just appreciative someone even thought TO give me something. Do you shave your arms? My armpits, yes, but not my arms themselves. How many people have you dated? I only count three as even remotely serious: Jason, Sara, and Girt. Have you ever performed in a play? I remember back in Sunday school as a tiny kid I played Mother Mary in one we did in class. Do you chew gum? I have been more lately since my doc upped the dosage of one of my mood stabilizers (which I think is actually helping); I mention that because apparently a side effect is dry mouth, and it's the fucking Sahara in there. He advises those who deal with it to always carry around hard candy or something like that for the sake of forcing salivation, so gum works for me. How old were you when you first started dating? I was in the 7th grade when I had my first "boyfriend," but it was total puppydog love. I started dating my first "real" bf when I was just shy of 16. Are/were your parents strict? Dad, no. Mom, only to a degree that I feel was pretty reasonable. She only ever wanted to prepare us to be functional, independent adults. Didn't work so well on me though, ha... Do you wear glasses? Yes. God, I need new ones. I'm blind as hell. What do you miss most about your childhood? Being so outgoing and happy to just be weird lil me. Do you write “To-Do” lists? Not really, no, but I do have notes on my phone about a couple things, like a bulleted list of planned monetary investments by importance, as well as a list of drawing ideas. Do you have a favorite quote? What is it? I don't, really. There's loads I like, but no one favorite. Could you survive as a vegetarian? I pretty desperately want to, but I don't know if it's realistic. I am so, SO picky, and without meat, it's very questionable as to where I'd get an adequate source of protein. I still want to try again though once I'm at my goal weight. Has anyone ever asked you for your autograph? Lol no. Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you that you were sexy? Yeah, but that was a looong time ago when I was actually some semblance of pretty. Do you prefer to take your showers at night or in the morning? I used to be someone who firmly stood by nighttime showers, but now I'm all about them in the morning. It's a nice way to wake up and start the day with productivity. Could you handle living with a male roommate? I mean, I lived with my then-boyfriend once, but I'm going to assume you'd consider him more than a "roommate." We lived with our two other friends, though, also a couple, and I was totally fine with living with them. Has anyone taken their shirt off in front of you? Yes. Do you like Freddy Krueger? His concept is very scary, but all the movies I've seen bits of have always been super cheesy. Which do you prefer, Naruto or One Piece? I haven't seen either and really aren't interested. What do you think of Rob Zombie? I've never really watched his movies, but I'm a fan of his music. What’s you fetish? I don't have one. Have you ever been in the “friend zone?" Well, what I'd call a "fake" one with Jason after the breakup until I was blocked on Facebook. I know now he absolutely did not want to be friends; he was trying to appease me. Is the area you live in more liberal or conservative? Definitely conservative. Do you know anyone who had to have tubes put in their ears as a baby? Yeah, me. Were either of your parents baptized? I'm certain Mom was, but idk about Dad. I think so. The last concert that you were at, was there a mosh pit? No. What was the last computer game that you played? World of Warcraft. Does your bathroom have a theme to it? No. Are any rooms in your house themed? No. What was the last thing that you recorded? I think Mom and I singing "happy birthday" to my late dog Teddy; we knew it would be his last. Do you like the show Futurama? Not really. Have you ever been in a choir class? I was in the elementary school chorus, as well as the choir at my childhood church. Are you ashamed of any of your family members? No, only myself. Were you a chubby child? No. Did you ever have senior photos done? No, even though I wanted them. Who is the person you dislike the most? God, this is so petty... but it's the girl Jason dated after me. I know it's childish as hell to feel like she "took" him from me, and I just feel this horrible hatred towards her that is entirely uncalled for. I just can't get myself to move past it. Do you take part in paying the bills for your household? No, as I'm unemployed and also don't have disability, so I literally can't. How do you usually celebrate New Years? I really don't do much. Sometimes Mom will grab a pack of daiquiris, but that's pretty much the extent of it. Does the place you work have music playing? What sort? N/A What was the last job interview you went to? At a local grocery store to work in the deli. Got the job, lasted there for not even two hours. :^) Do you know anyone with autism, mood disorders or learning disabilities? Autism and mood disorders, yes. I myself may have high-functioning Asperger's (yes, I know that term doesn't technically exist anymore, it's just the umbrella term of "autism," but w/e). Have you ever had an immediate relative pass away of cancer? My grandmother died of pancreatic cancer, and it's pretty much guaranteed that, unless there's some sudden accident, my mom will die of cancer, too. Hers got too bad to entirely eliminate every trace of cancer cells, so it will inevitably re-emerge at some point, just obviously some place else given that she had a total hysterectomy. Would you rather work in an office, warehouse or on a retail shop floor? Office. Are you a fan of sweet, sour, salty, or savory snacks? I enjoy all of those, but sour I think tops the list.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''mutter'' by rammstein

7 notes · View notes

yoichichi · 4 years

Text

Bunny’s 200 follower event

request: omg hey babe i’m so excited- can i pls get one matchup from haikyuu and one from aot? whoever you think is best and not just bc you know how much i love asahi and hange lmaooo okay so i’m bisexual with a preference for females! i am an infp and a scorpio sun, leo moon, and gemini rising (and a scorpio venus 😳). i love writing and dancing! i love kpop (i know 😔), more specifically girl groups! my favorite is the group “twice” and i would prefer to be with someone who will listen to it with me! and i’m passionate about politics and playing the violin and piano! i’m rather introverted, very intuitive, very empathetic, and and i am perceptive. (literally described my mbti i’m so sorry) i am rather awkward and can appreciate a partner who is strong where i lack. i think i would like someone who is self-assured and able to assure me despite my severe social anxiety. i would also like someone i could extend my protective tendencies to, someone who would let me take care of them. i love to cook, clean, and bake (when i’m not being forced to) and would love someone who would let me do those things for them. i’m a rather physically affectionate person and i would NOT be able to be with someone who couldn’t match my energy. if they don’t enjoy physical affection i couldn’t be with them. i would appreciate someone who could understand my need for validation and offer it without being overbearing. i’m family-oriented and am determined to build a strong, healthy family with a partner who shares the same values. i would also prefer to be with someone who can appreciate my cultures since they’re pretty big parts of who i am! i am agnostic and would prefer to be in a relationship with someone not overly religious because religion makes me uncomfortable :/ i also refuse to be with someone who does not share my progressive views. if they wouldn’t be wearing their mask over their noses and refusing to eat out during a pandemic i wouldn’t even look their way. i’ve never had a serious relationship before and would prefer someone who has been in one and understands that i need time to adapt to it. as for a physical description i’m a little on the heavier side, i’m mexican-japanese, 5’5, have pretty pale skin, and extremely dark brown hair and eyes. i have a pear shaped figure and dude i have like no tits at all. i’m wearing a b-cup rn and i don’t fill it i hate it here. i tend to wear dark colors in comfortable fashion and i prefer modern/androgynous fashion. my pronouns are she/they!

a/n: omg hi bae!!! ALSO PLS THE KPOP PART WAS SO FUNNY and these guys better watch out before I match you with myself bae 😏 okok teehee pls enjoy ❣️ anon! Also omg this took 5 years I’m so sorry I don’t have internet until the 12th so using my data is a struggle 😭 okok I hope you enjoy!

Reading your request, you have been matched with...

(づ￣ ³￣)づ Mikasa Ackerman

LISTEN I think y’all would genuinely make such a good couple

Any of your interests she will sit and listen to you talk to them for literal hours and want to combust cause she thinks you look so fucking cute ranting about it it’s unreal

Sometimes you do have to take breaks ranting though cause she just wants a kiss so bad but she promises she’ll let you continue after a half hour of making out LMAO

Her favorite position to listen to you rant about k-drama is with your head laying in her lap while you look up at her so she can play with your hair and still see your face, and it makes it easier to steal a forehead kiss or too

Her second favorite though is when you’re ranting about work and you get particularly frustrated so she pulls you into her chest and runs her fingers down your back and the sides of your arms while you relax

If you can’t tell I strongly HC mikasa loves physical affection

I think its just easier for her to show you how much she cares through little gestures of affection - and she’s currently obsessed with the way your eyes close when she cups your face with both hands and rubs her thumbs across your cheeks so there’s that too LMAO

Massages‼️‼️

When you’re watching a movie and you rest your legs on her lap her hands just naturally start rubbing at your legs and if you get sleepy she just leans over and gives you a kiss on the cheek and carries you to bed and is so <3333333

Ok but she loves when she’s laying between your legs and her head rests on your chest and you play with her hair, like she’s out 5 minutes TOPS and she does drool a little but it’s ok cause she’s cute

Whenever you play the violin or piano in front of her she’s just so 😍😍😍like she will happily sit and watch you practice for hours cause she just loves how pretty you sound and how she can just feel your passion through the way you’re playing

Ok at first I think she’d have a hard time understanding why you take care of her like she’d come home and you’d have dinner already made and she’d just be 🧍🏻‍♀️...... w-what do you want from me LMAO

But I feel like she’d get use to it really fast and always appreciate the things you do for her

Now her heart gets so warm when she comes home and smells dryer sheets cause you did the laundry already, or if she hears the you blasting music she knows she’s probably gonna find you in the kitchen cooking dinner

Ok but Mikasa leaning against the door frame with her arms crossed and she’s just smirking and staring at you cook until you notice she’s there?

🏃🏼‍♀️🏃🏼‍♀️🏃🏼‍♀️ WHew

Omg she loves being your little taste tester while you cook and will sometimes just wait around the kitchen like 😶 until you offer her a bite and then she acts all surprised like 😯🤭 I mean ok 🤗

Ok ms quiet feet loves scaring you sorry LMAO

BUT ITS NEVER IN A teehee GOT YOU WAY

She just knows she walks quiet and she loves when she walks into a room you’re already in and you jump a little and clutch your chest she just thinks it’s the cutest thing ever

She’s one of the most appreciative people of you and adores everything about you 🖤🖤

Your vibe reminds me of...

Another suitable match for you would be...

(づ￣ ³￣)づ Iwaizumi Hajime

No cause LISTEN

THis man sees you and his knees are WEAK

Idk what it is but I just know that you’re his type like

Smth about your androgynous dark fashion catches his eye

Like he deadass watches walk across whatever room you’re in like 👁👄👁 and it’s so obvious too and you’re sweating like 👀 what’s this mf WANT

And he’s a bold mf too

Straight up just goes up to you and asks for your number yes he’s getting really sweaty and definitely is stuttering and walks away feeling 🥴

But when you text him back he is so !!!!!

Okok onto the relationship sheesh

He is so patient and understanding with you it’s unreal

The type mf to make you think like,,, damn people like this exist?

The first date y’all go on he even asks if you’re ok with him holding your hand and when you say yes he literally smiles and goes “cool :)” and his hands are so warm and big compared to yours and he keeps your hand for most of the date after that lolol

Ok but listen

Y’all went to Walmart once to get some much needed groceries and this old guy wasn’t wearing his mask right, like it wasn’t covering his nose, and iwa just s t a r e d at him like 🧍🏻

And when the guy was like ???

He went “I’m just trying to figure out how stupid you must be to not know masks cover your nose, too. 😐.”

You had to get Iwa out of the aisle before he almost got into a literal physical altercation with an elderly man LMAO

But He was like :/ I’m sorry I was dramatic inside I just didn’t like it :/ once you got in the car and he was embarrassed so much for saying something to the guy ajsksdjwij

He lets you blast whatever you want on the aux when y’all are driving even if he hates what you’re playing 😭 and he would NEVER be caught dead admitting he doesn’t like what you’re playing cause you like it so much but sometimes a song comes on and he just shoots you a side look like 👀 oh nice nice LMAO

You made him breakfast once and he cried

Like he came out and you were dishing up his plate and he just went 😐😖🥲 t-thanks

He denies it to this day though

He lovvveesss making dinner with you

It’s his perfect destresser after a bad day :(((

He loves it when you fall asleep on him too like he naps with you on accident all the time cause he’s just so big and warm and when you fall asleep on him he gets so lovey and cozy that he just dozes off and at this point he just doesn’t care about his sleep schedule anymore 😭

He’s your big ol cuddle bug :)

Your vibe reminds me of...

ongomgomg im sorry this took so long 😭 I hope you like your pairings and I can’t wait to hear from you 🥺🤲🏼

And to everyone else waiting I’m finally able to start writing again but I still won’t have internet for almost another week so they might be pushed out slowly but I’m going as fast as I can 😭❣️

Love y’all!

-🐇out

#aot matchup #haikyuu matchups #🐇200 follower event❣️

3 notes · View notes

kim-seungmine · 5 years

Text

the time is now

title: the time is now

characters: (fem) reader x kim seungmin of stray kids (feat. choi lia of itzy, lee felix + bang chan of stray kids)

genres: romance, rich kid au, friends to lovers au, (sort of!) mafia au, dedicating this to 191109 seungmin & levanter era!seungmin

word count: 7.9k

warnings: alcohol consumption, violence (nothing too wild tho), i haven’t proofread, idk what im doing tbh (but seungmin drives an aston martin i hope that makes you feel better)

synopsis: you and seungmin spent years pushing each other away, only to be confronted by your biggest fears when you finally decided to stop running away.

a/n: i hope this doesn’t suck :(((

Summer is for fun. Summer is for rest. Summer is for romance.

But summer is also for opportunities, and that’s the sole reason why you’re standing inside the Laura Ryu boutique—where you can’t even afford its cheapest pair of earrings. The luxury fashion brand is open for internships for the very first time and now it’s one of those “a million girls would kill for that job” positions in South Korea.

“Good morning, everyone.”

The sweet but regal voice belongs to Julia Choi, Laura Ryu’s daughter who’s specifically flew back from New York to Seoul for the summer to help her mother managing the internship. You know her better as Choi Jisu, your childhood friend who’s currently attending Parsons School of Design.

“I’m Choi Jisu, and I’m going to be your mentor throughout the internship. Well, technically I’m responsible for all of you here so please, stay in one piece until the end of summer although it’s going to be absolute hell, okay?”

Everyone laughs, and soon you’re ushered to one big studio inside. You see a placard with your name on one of the table and quickly head there, giving Jisu a little wave as she tells the other interns to find their stations.

After all the interns are seated, Jisu claps, effectively silencing everyone. “And now, something to motivate you,” she announces. “We’re going to monitor every single one of you and by the end of summer, we’re going to choose one intern to help with our next collection. How’s that sound?”

Excited whispers are heard all over the room, and you hope you’ll survive summer in one piece.

“Y/N! Wait up!”

Jisu is running down the stairs, her heels making loud clacking sounds against the marble floor. She envelops you in a tight hug the moment you’re within an arm’s reach. You’ve missed Jisu, it feels like it’s been ages since you volunteered at the animal shelter together.

“I can’t believe you actually applied!” she chirps.

You chuckle. “Well, I can’t believe I actually got in.”

Jisu snorts. “Oh please. I don’t need to see your portfolio to know how amazing it is. You’re probably the only one who sent a proper portfolio.”

She greets the shopkeepers, leading you outside. “Are you free? Let’s catch up!” she offers. You nod, linking your arm with hers. “What do you want to do? Coffee?”

“O—”

A white Aston Martin pulls over in front of you, causing Jisu to gasp and check her watch. The window rolls down, revealing an annoyed Kim Seungmin on the driver’s seat. “Yah Choi Jisu,” he snaps. “I know I’m just your insignificant cousin, but couldn’t you at least tell me that you were going to be at your Mom’s boutique the whole day?”

“Oh shoot, sorry Seungmin! I totally forgot,” Jisu panics, turning to you with apologetic eyes. “It’s okay,” you assure her. “Go. You’re stuck with me for the whole summer anyways.”

She shakes her head. “No, I’m not gonna leave you behind. Seungmin, you don’t mind if I bring Y/N along, do you?”

Yeah, Kim Seungmin. Someone from your “summer is for romance” phase two years ago. You’re well aware that you’re an intern at his aunt’s boutique, but you thought you wouldn’t meet him since he’s set to take over his father’s law firm instead of becoming the heir of Laura Ryu’s fashion empire.

“It’s fine,” you refuse. “We can hang out some other time, Jisu. You two have fun!”

“Come with us,” Seungmin interjects, calmly as usual. Two years of not seeing him in flesh has weakened your defense. Seungmin has always looked fine, but now he looks ten times hotter with his dirty blond hair and you’re cursing yourself for being so shallow. Jisu shrugs, opening the door and pulling you inside.

Seungmin glances at the empty passenger seat then at the rear-view mirror. “So where are we headed, Young Mistresses?” he asks, his tone both sarcastic and playful.

“We were going to grab some coffee. Just stop by at the first Starbucks you see,” Jisu answers before attacking you with questions. Seungmin mumbles an, “Okay Miss” before making a u-turn. You feel all eyes are on you when you enter the café, suddenly realizing that you just stepped out of Kim Seungmin’s Aston Martin with Choi Jisu attached to your side.

For a split second, you forgot that you’re hanging out with South Korea’s top socialites who are way too cool for Starbucks.

After getting your orders, the three of you are chatting about every little thing. “And how is our little Byul? Has she been adopted?”

You and Seungmin exchange awkward glances, causing Jisu to cock an eyebrow. “What happened?”

“I didn’t go to the shelter last year,” you confess.

“Me neither,” Seungmin mumbles, sipping his Americano in a haste.

“Okay, neither of you went to the shelter last year, so what? What are you guys being so weird about?”

“Nothing,” you and Seungmin answer in unison. Jisu examines your face and snaps her fingers, seeming to get the idea. “Well, if that’s the case… why don’t you two talk things out?”

“Wait what happened to catching up?” you panic, while Seungmin grabs his cup and stands up. “I should drive you home,” he says.

Jisu clicks her tongue. “Sit down, both of you.”

You and Seungmin do as told, begging her with your eyes to save yourselves from this situation. “As you said, Y/N, we’re stuck together for the whole summer so we still have a lot of time. And no thank you, dear cousin. I’ll just take the cab. See you!”

Your friend smiles at you one last time before walking out, stopping the first cab she can find. You turn to Seungmin, finally letting yourself indulge in his pretty eyes that only seem to warm up whenever you’re around. Contrary to popular belief, there’s nothing special about Kim Seungmin except for the fact that he’s a straight-As law student, looks both adorable and hot, and is actually a sweet, humble boy despite being filthy rich.

Okay, you’re definitely not over him.

Seungmin clears his throat. “So, how’s the internship so far?”

“It was only my first day,” you answer. “We didn’t do much yet. The real fight starts tomorrow, I guess.”

“You’re in good hands. Jisu handles everything well, and her Mom won’t even show up until the last day so you’re going to have fun.”

You laugh. “But one of the interns is going to be included in the team in charge of the next collection so I suppose your aunt will appear once in a while, right?”

“She’ll be in Paris the whole summer,” Seungmin explains. “Jisu begged her to let her handle the program because she misses home, and here we are now.”

“How about you? Been doing fine, I guess?”

The little spark in Seungmin’s eyes fades at your question. He stands up, returning your puzzled gaze with a cold one. “Let me take you home.”

“You don’t need to,” you retort, slightly offended. “Seungmin, did I say something wrong?”

“No, you didn’t,” he denies. “Please let me take you home. Jisu will kill me if I leave you alone here.”

You’re not satisfied with his answer, but decide to follow him. Seungmin enters the driver’s seat and starts the engine, heading to your neighbourhood without a word. “You still remember where I live?” you ask.

“I’m a law student Y/N. I can remember a lot of things.”

You let out an exasperated sigh. This is probably the only thing you hate about Seungmin: he shuts down everyone the moment he shows a hint of weakness. “Seungmin… are you okay?” you try again. “I’m not getting off until I get a proper answer.”

Jisu once told you that everyone in their big family sees a therapist every month; you know for sure that Seungmin must be their favorite patient because they get paid a fortune for counselling a very good boy who answers everything with positive words.

Seungmin is a strong, positive guy, but not all the time. People tend to forget that. He tends to forget that.

Looking at how tense he is, you decide to drop the subject. “How’s Chan and Felix?” you ask while scrolling through your Instagram feed, looking at a photo of the said boys posing in front of their luxury cars.

Seungmin’s eyes soften at the mention of his best friends. “Aren’t you the one who go to the same university?” he questions endearingly.

Christopher Bang and Felix Lee were your classmates in Fashion Journalism—a class which Felix signed up for by mistake. He tried to have it erased from his timetable, but changed his mind when he realized that everyone in that class was girls. Soon, his best bro Chris Bang joined him and when they found out you were friends with Seungmin and Jisu too, they wouldn’t leave you alone.

“Yeah, but everytime I want to say hi they’re always surrounded by their friends.”

“You mean Seo Changbin, Lee Minho and Yang Jeongin?”

You nod. Seungmin laughs, slowing down his pace as he reaches your neighbourhood. “Just say hi. Those guys are harmless.”

“Easy for you to say,” you scoff. “Seo Changbin radiates this ‘you can’t sit with us’ vibes stronger than those girls in Mean Girls.”

“I mean it,” he repeats. “Just say hi. Felix calls you all the time anyways. You’re a part of their so-called circle.”

“You mean your circle?” you correct him jokingly, unfastening your seatbelt as he smoothly hits the brake in front of your house. “Thank you for taking me home.”

Seungmin smiles your favorite smile, the one where his eyes disappear into crescent moons. The door is opened, yet you’re just sitting there, trying to look for answers inside Seungmin’s doe eyes.

“What is it?”

You chew your bottom lip, shaking your head. “Nothing.”

Your Golden Retriever puppy named Sun died when you were in fifth grade. You couldn’t function for the rest of summer, so your Dad suggested that you volunteer at an animal shelter. You eventually registered for a 2-week volunteer program where you fell in love with a lively Pomeranian you ended up adopting and a lovely boy named Kim Seungmin.

You and Seungmin went to different schools (he attended an elite all-boys school), the volunteer program was the only time you could meet him. He brought his cousin Choi Jisu the next year, and it became a routine for the three of you from then on. Your beautiful friendship was perfect until your 18th birthday, when Seungmin gifted you a box full of photos of you he had taken as your birthday present.

After 8 years, you finally realized that Kim Seungmin wasn’t just a friend you volunteered with. He was the one you played hide and seek with, he was the one who taught you to use a camera, he was the one who sang to you when you cried after one of the dogs in the shelter got sick.

“Have I ever told you that I love your voice?” you asked him on one Sunday morning, right before you turned 20. “You could be a singer.”

“No, but thank you. You said it right when I started doubting myself.”

“This is not an empty compliment, Seungmin. I’m serious.”

Seungmin ruffled your hair, eyes lighting up at your seriousness. “You never say empty words, Y/N. I know that.”

After a few minutes of trying to find the right response and not finding any, you decided to let his compliment hang in the air. You laid beside him, keeping a safe distance because hearing him breathe so peacefully was enough to mess up your insides.

Seungmin turned to you, and for a while he just stayed like that, quietly examining your face while you were on the verge of freaking out.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

He didn’t change his position, eyes still locked on your face as he whispered, “I asked myself that too, but I honestly don’t know. I just hope I can see you like this forever. Seeing you makes me happy.”

Speechless, you didn’t dare to meet his eyes. How were you supposed to react? Was Seungmin drunk?

“Seriously,” you croaked to break the silence. “You should audition to become an idol or something.”

“Should I?”

“Well, depends whether you want it or not, but go ahead if you want! You have nothing to lose anyways!”

His lips curled into a sad smile. “Nothing to lose? Y/N, money isn’t the only thing I have.”

Whenever you started to feel that maybe you and Seungmin could become something more, the universe always made sure to remind you that he wasn’t just a boy you grew up with. He was the only son of a successful lawyer who rode limousine to school and owned a black credit card he used without thinking. He appeared on nation’s newspaper after attending exclusive parties you could only dream of going. He was someone who flew to London with private jet over the weekend because he wanted to take some photos.

You laughed, locking eyes with him without realizing. “But with your money you can have everything, Seungmin. You and Jisu are different from the rest of us.”

Ten years of friendship and you never once talked about this. You knew Seungmin wouldn’t mind; he wasn’t the type who liked to flaunt his wealth, but he wasn’t one of those people who didn’t like to be reminded of how loaded they were. He never cared. But you were afraid he would think that you did, so you always avoided making comparisons.

That day, you had to do it. Maybe you were too protective of yourself, but you couldn’t risk getting hurt. One little slash on your heart, and the wound would leave a permanent scar.

Seungmin hummed in agreement, breaking the eye contact to look at the clear sky.

He left the shelter the next day, and you never talked to him again.

“Jisuuuu,” you whine as Jisu pulls you into Rose’s, a fancy bar that she frequents. “I thought we were just going to hang out!”

“We are!” Jisu exclaims, waving at the bartender before choosing a spot. She orders you a drink you’re not familiar with before pouting at you. “Okay, sorry for not telling you, but we’re not gonna hang out alone today.”

The door opens, revealing Chan and Felix. The latter immediately throws his arms around you, and you can’t help but break into an endearing laugh. “Y/N!!!! Why is it so hard to meet you? Don’t you miss your expensive friends?!”

You pull away from his grip. “Excuse me, but since when your socialite agenda includes your humble friend right here?”

Felix pouts, ordering a glass of Dry Martini while Chan and Jisu are whispering among themselves. You scoot closer to them. “What are you guys whispering about?”

The three of them snicker at the same time and you figure this isn’t just the usual “hanging out” session.

You turn to Chan. “Bang Chan, spill.”

“Wow, hearing someone that’s not my parents calling me Bang Chan is so refreshing,” Chan says. “It’s like having 2 personalities. Christopher is this hot, alluring, seductive man no one ever says no to, while Bang Chan is his inner child—soft, caring, funny… but still hot—”

Jisu shoots Chan a deathly glare before smiling at you. “You like Seungmin, don’t you?”

You take a sip of your drink and let her question sink in. Looking at your friends’ faces, you know that it wasn’t even a question. They feel it, and there’s no use of denying your feelings anymore.

“And that’s all we need to know!” Chan exclaims, standing up from his seat. He slips in a few dollars into the bartender’s pocket. “Seungmin doesn’t know we were here.”

Felix slaps his shoulder. “Bro you were literally the one who told him to come here. Stop trying to be cool.”

“Ah… you’re right,” Chan answers as Jisu rolls her eyes. “But anyways, Seungmin is will be here soon. Talk to him, okay?”

After waving them goodbye, you glance at your surroundings. Everyone is chatting with their friends while sipping their drinks happily; they’re in their natural habitat, while you’re just sitting there hoping Seungmin will come soon so you can get out of there as soon as possible. The bartender notices your uneasiness and offers you another drink to try.

Just as you start contemplating to leave, Seungmin enters the bar. He gives you a small wave when his eyes land on you, like it’s natural to see you there. The bartender serves 2 glasses of drinks before Seungmin even reaches you, “Gin and tonic, Mr. Kim’s favorite.”

Taking off his suit, Seungmin sits beside you and sips his drink. “When Chan kept terrorizing me to get here ASAP I know something’s up,” he says, examining your face. “… and you want to leave.”

Without waiting for your answer, Seungmin takes his coat. “Put it on my tab,” he tells the bartender, putting his hand on the small of your back and leads you out.

“Do you want to talk?” he asks after you’re sitting inside his car. “For real this time.”

He sounds apologetic, hurt and hopeful all at once and you recall everything you said to him two years ago. Those words left a deep scar in your heart, you can only imagine how broken Seungmin must have been.

“Yeah, we do need to talk.”

You never want to allow yourself to feel insecure, but the voices in your head get wild sometimes. You hate to admit it, the same way Seungmin hates to admit that he’s not always the calm and strong heir everyone expects him to be.

The only way to tune out those voices is to visit the park near your house to play on the swings

Seungmin has rolled up his sleeves so he could help you push the swings. You try to look over your shoulder. “Kim Seungmin what are you doing? Push it harder!” you demand, to which he shakes his head.

He continues to push the swings gently, still allowing you to feel the cold wind on your face. “No,” he answers firmly. “You’ll get sick.”

Knowing you can’t change his mind, you just let him set the pace, and soon your heart starts to feel lighter. The voices get muffled by Seungmin’s low humming. You have a lot of explaining to do, yet he hasn’t said anything, not even telling you to smile a little. This time you’re not sure if it’s because of the swings or Seungmin or both, but the voices are almost gone now and you decide that’s enough for tonight.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper quietly. Seungmin stops pushing, letting the swings moves by itself before coming to a halt. He kneels down in front of you, a frown on his face. “Why? What did you do?”

“Two years ago… I’m sorry I pushed you away,” you sigh. “I’m sorry I did it like that. And I’m sorry for pestering you the other day. I don’t have any right to force you to tell me things.”

Seungmin heaves a sigh, grabbing your hand to stop you from fiddling with your shirt. He slowly laces his fingers with yours, the warmth of his eyes reminding you of the old happy days when the two of you would sneak out from the shelter to have a picnic under the clear sky. “And I shouldn’t have left,” he reminds you. You only stare into each other’s eyes until he blurts out, “Can we start over?”

You almost cry at how easy and right it feels. You spent years of your adolescent life telling yourself that this wouldn’t work, the wall you built to protect your heart was destroyed by the very person you built it for. But you find it impossible to lie when he’s looking at you with so much hope and adoration. When you finally nod, Seungmin rewards you with his toothy grin that always makes your insides flip.

The voices in your head shout out warnings at you, but you quickly shut all of them down. You’re not going to let them win. You’re not going to let them stop you from loving the only boy you want to love.

“Let’s take things slow, yeah?”

Seungmin beams at your words, pulling you up to envelop you in his arms. He waits until you relax before tightening his hold. You rest your forehead on his shoulder, breathing him in as he mouths words you can’t decipher into your hair. “Remember when you managed to persuade that young couple to adopt Vivi?”

“My lucky day,” you murmur, unconsciously pulling him closer to you.

“It was my lucky day too.”

“Of course it was! The owner also bought you chicken when Jisu and I were the ones working hard! You just nodded along with us!”

Seungmin chuckles. “I got to hold you for the first time that day. You were so happy that Vivi got a new home that you just jumped into my arms. Then you started crying and ruined my Balenciaga shirt, but I was beyond happy. You stayed in my arms until you fell asleep, and I got to watch you sleep.”

You pinch his waist softly. “You’re such a creep.”

Seungmin’s laugh only makes you feel even giddier than you already are, so you just close your eyes and relish in the feeling of his arms wrapping around your waist securely. “Shall we go to Jeju tomorrow?” he suggests.

“Jeju?”

He pulls away, enough for him to see your face but still holding you close. “Yeah. I can book us tickets so we can fly tomorrow and spend the whole weekend there. You don’t have internships on weekends, right? We’ll go to pretty places and I’ll take hundreds of pretty photos of you. We can have dinner by the beach since our villa is facing the ocean. You love seafood, right? Our chefs—”

“Kim Seungmin, what happened to taking things slow?” you giggle, causing him to let out a cute frustrated groan. “I’m sorry. How about a road trip to Busan then?”

“You can drive to Busan?”

“You’re underestimating me, love.”

Seungmin’s phone rings when you’re about to utter a sassy remark. He glances at the caller and releases you, his eyes turn cold as he accepts the call. “Yes, father?”

You can’t hear what his father is saying, but whatever it is, Seungmin doesn’t look happy. You reach for his hand carefully, and he quickly squeezes yours while responding to his father in a polite, business-like manner. He walks you to your house, telling his father that he’ll be home soon.

Seungmin pulls you into his arms again as soon as he slides his phone into his pocket. “Duty calls?”

“Mhm,” he replies. “As you can see, I had a meeting today, and Father wants updates.”

“He already involves you in meetings? That’s cool!”

“Nah, I can’t voice out any opinion yet. I’m just there to listen.”

Seungmin detaches himself from you, pressing a chaste kiss on your cheek. “So, I’ll pick you up at 6?”

You nod, not even bothering to protest that it’s too early because you want to see him again soon. Seungmin enters his car and starts the engine. He rolls down the window, grinning when he sees you wave at him. The phone call must have bothered him, but you decided to let it slide. “Text me when you get home,” you tell him.

Take things slow. You have to take things slow.

Not only does Seungmin know how to drive to Busan (while looking extremely attractive behind the wheels), he also knows Busan like the back of his palm. He took you to all the pretty places and took pretty photos of you as promised. Now you’re at the balcony of the Kim family villa (you figure they have apartments and villas scattered in the whole country), nestled in Seungmin’s arms while waiting for the sun to set.

“Wait, sit over there!” Seungmin forces you to move from your spot to the end of the couch. “The angle is pretty!” He snaps a few photos with his newest Leica camera that’s worth a car. You give him your silliest poses before bursting into a fit of giggles. Seungmin puts the camera on the coffee table and pulls you back to him. “Enough photos for today,” he mutters, settling you on his lap. Seungmin never struck you as someone who loves skinship, but he never misses a chance to wrap you in his arms, and you’re not complaining. He probably feels the same blissful comfort you feel whenever the two of you touch.

The sun begins to set, and for a while you focus your gaze on the sky, admiring the way the sun paints it with shades of orange. Seungmin shifts underneath you, pressing a kiss on your exposed shoulder to earn your attention. You meet his eyes, and you see a tinge of worry in them. “What is it?”

Seungmin takes an awfully long time to answer your question, causing you to cup his face. “Tell me.”

“Do you trust me?”

The question has you frowning. “Of course I do. Why wouldn’t I?”

Seungmin smiles, but the tinge of worry is still reflected through his orbs. “Whatever happens, I’ll try my best to make this work, okay? I’ll do anything to make this work. I want you in my life, more than you can imagine.”

“Seungmin—”

“There will be days when I’ll be away for meetings, there will be days when I’ll feel like absolute shit because of my Father and the business,” he reveals. “Sometimes it will feel like I’m keeping you in the dark and I know you won’t like that, but there are so many things I need to sort out now, and I can’t tell you anything yet. Is that okay?”

You can’t base your relationship on not-knowing! You can’t base your relationship on excuses and blind faith!

“Is it too much if I ask you not to let me wait for too long?”

Seungmin shakes his head so fast you wonder if it hurts his neck. “You know how smart I am,” he boasts. “Trust me, you’ll be amazed at how good I am in getting things done.”

“You better be, there are a lot of people waiting for your help, Lawyer Kim.”

Your boyfriend chuckles. “Speaking of getting things done, I have a request for you.”

“Request?”

“There’s this masked ball held by Chan’s Dad next month, and we’re all attending. I’ve been looking for a nice mask, but everything seems mediocre. Will you design one for me?”

You squeal, immediately attacking him in a tight hug. You’ve always wanted to design jewelries, including masks. The mere thought of buying the materials, matching the design according to Seungmin’s style and drawing all the pretty details launch you to cloud 9 in an instant.

“I guess you like it,” Seungmin singsongs. “I have one more request though.”

You tilt your head in excitement.

“I want you to be my date.”

Your smile falters, but Seungmin tug at your lips softly, gesturing at you to smile again. “Everyone will wear a mask and you’ll only take it off at midnight, so we can leave before midnight if you want. Besides, I’m just a guest. All eyes will be on Chan.”

“But what kind of dress am I supposed to wear? Everyone will—”

“Aren’t you a designer? You’ve sewed a lot of dresses, wear one of them.”

“But they’re not from designer brands, aren’t you ashamed?”

“I don’t care,” Seungmin tells you in the most caring tone. “You’re you, not Julia Choi. Not Felix Lee. Not Christopher Bang. And you’re not me.”

Flashbacks from your painful conversation two years ago come in a flash, but now both of you are looking at it from a whole different perspective. Your smile slowly returns, and Seungmin huffs a sigh of relief. “That’s my girl.”

“Can I tell you something too?”

He nods.

“There will be days when I’ll feel like I’ll never be good enough to succeed in anything,” you begin, biting your lip to prevent tears from falling. “I don’t let myself dwell on it most of the time, but sometimes I fail. Is that okay?”

Seungmin cradles your face, wiping your tears with his thumbs. “I’m here, aren’t I? I’ll knock some sense into you whenever you’re about to drown in self-pity!”

You pat his head in return, hoping that this Seungmin—the one whose eyes radiate sunshine and voice laced with honey, the one whose laugh sounds like a sweet melody—will be the Seungmin he shows to the rest of the world more.

Seungmin is still cradling your face, gaze flickering to your lips every now and then, triggering you to do glance at his lips in return. The pull is too tempting, you wonder if you should just crash your lips on his or let him decide for you.

“Is it okay if I kiss you?” he whispers, barely audible. Your eyes flutter close, and Seungmin doesn’t waste any time. His lips meet yours in a fleeting kiss, making your breath hitch at how soft and burning his lips feel. Seungmin kisses you deeply, taking his time to savor you and you’re going insane at the way he clutches your waist, the way he hums everytime you pull him closer. It’s almost too much, yet at the same you know he’s still holding back as if he’s afraid that this is all just a fever dream.

“Seungmin, please.”

“Mhmm?” he tries to speak against your lips, hazy eyes gazing into yours.

“More,” you breathe out, determined to make him let go and kiss you the way he wishes to although you’re blushing like mad. “I’m not going anywhere, so just kiss me.”

“You sure?” he mutters, eyes waiting for your approval.

You close your eyes again, and right that moment you feel Seungmin’s lips move against yours. This time, he lets go. Hovering over you, he pours all the feelings he had suppressed for years into the kiss. You’re soon lost in all the love and passion he has for you, his every touch eating your skin alive. You’re lost in Seungmin, Seungmin, Seungmin and you hope he knows you feel the same.

“Stay still!” you yelp, fixing Seungmin’s mask as the limousine stops in front of the ballroom where the party is held. Mr. Song, Seungmin’s chauffeur, opens the door for both of you. You start to panic upon seeing reporters snapping photos of other guests entering the ballroom. Seungmin steps out, looking like His Royal Highness from a reputable kingdom.

He extends his hand to you. “Come on, love. Jisu and the others are already inside.”

The sound of shutters and the blinding flashes almost make you shut the door and tell Mr. Song to drive you home, but Seungmin reaches for your hand and intertwines his fingers with yours. “I’m here. You’ll be alright.”

Gathering some courage, you finally set your foot on the ground. Seungmin helps you with a gentle smile he knows will calm you down. He leads you inside, holding your hand a little tighter whenever someone seems to make you uncomfortable.

You spot Jisu from the gold feathery mask she showed you the night before and her signature high ponytail. A redheaded boy joined her with a drink in his hand, and you know for sure that it’s Felix. Everything at this party is grand, and by grand you mean people with diamond-studded dresses, a huge orchestra group, extravagant chandeliers, ice statues, and all kinds of foods and drinks you know absolutely nothing about.

“You okay?” Seungmin asks, releasing your hand to take a slice of chocolate cake that the waiter offers before handing it to you. Jisu squeals at the cake, taking the same cake from the waiter. You look at her in awe as she digs in right away. “How do you eat that at a place like this?” you hiss, earning a laugh from Felix.

“We’re here to enjoy ourselves, darling. Eat up!” he encourages you. You turn to Seungmin, who gives you a spoon. “Why? You love chocolate.”

You take a glance of everyone around you, nobody is eating. They’re either dancing or laughing or drinking. “Do you guys usually eat? Or are you doing this to make me comfortable?”

“We’re not some dukes and duchess Y/N. Wait, even dukes and duchess eat at parties. Shut up and enjoy your cake!” Jisu deadpans with a full mouth, causing you to laugh and do the same. Seungmin keeps his hand on the small of your back all the time, making sure you’re okay. After finishing your cake, he pulls you to the dance floor.

“No Seungmin, I’m not dancing with you,” you yell at him. Seungmin pretends not to hear you, his eyes glint with mischief. He puts your arms around his neck, then his own around your waist. You thank the heavens for the slow music because the last time you danced was in the second grade. Seungmin leads the dance, slowly backing you into a corner and pushes his mask up to plant a kiss on your lips.

“Been dying to do that.” He smirks at you as you glare at him, thankful that the mask is hiding your flushed cheeks. “Thank you for going with me. I know this isn’t your thing,” he adds, twirling you smoothly.

You scoff playfully, caressing his left cheek. “If you’re thankful, ride subway with me for the whole week.”

“Easy,” Seungmin, bringing your hand to his lips. “Your wish is my command, you know that, right?”

“All you need is tux and mask to become all flirty, huh? Did you dream to be a Disney prince?”

Seungmin shrugs, pulling you closer so you can rest your chin on his shoulder. The song comes to an end, switching to a more upbeat one when Seungmin’s phone vibrates. Though reluctantly, he takes the call and walks you to the water fountain near the salad bar.

“I’m at Mr. Bang’s party,” he says. “But Father—okay.”

The call ends just like that. Seungmin curses under his breath, wordlessly taking you back to where Jisu and Felix are standing. “I need to go now,” he breaks the news.

“Dude, you just arrived!” Felix protests.

“It’s my father,” Seungmin informs dryly. The redhead’s eyes become softer, and Jisu dismisses her cousin. “Don’t make him wait,” she urges him. “We’ll take care of Y/N. Who knows, she may find someone cooler than you.”

Seungmin looks at you with so much guilt, so you give him your most convincing smile. “Go. You can tell me about it later.”

After giving you one last “I’m sorry” look, he disappears into the crowd.

Felix cheers when the orchestra plays a song he knows. “Ohhh I love this song! Come on Y/N, time to rock the dance floor!”

As you’re about to pull Jisu along with you, Mr. Song walks toward you. He stops, bowing at the three of you. “Miss Y/N, Young Master asked me to take you.”

“Why? I thought Seungmin is meeting his father?”

“He does have some things to take care of, and you’ve been requested to join him.”

You glance at Jisu and Felix who tense at Mr. Song’s news. “Is this bad? What happened?” you try to ask, but Mr. Song only waits for you.

“It’s okay.” Felix rubs your shoulders. “Go with him.”

You nod. “See you guys later.”

Mr. Song guides you out like he knows the building by heart. Once you’re back inside the limousine, he enters the driver’s seat. “Is everything alright, Mr. Song?”

The old man smiles. “Young Master Seungmin is a very nice boy. He has clear goals and works hard to achieve them. And he wants to make you, especially, happy.”

He stops in front of an abandoned warehouse. You open the door before he does, taking off your heels while he holds the door for you. “Just give him a chance,” he says.

You quicken your pace when you hear someone scream. Peeking inside, you spot at least 10 men dressed in all-black surrounding a man who’s sitting on a chair, his hands tied and eyes blindfolded. Blood oozing from several parts of his body, his face completely bruised.

You look back to where Mr. Song is, but he only gestures at you to come inside. You slide the door a bit more to squeeze yourself in, looking up when you hear a familiar voice.

It’s Seungmin, swinging a baseball bat in his hand, his dress shirt stained with blood. “This will be the last time I ask you,” he hisses, sounding nothing like the Seungmin you know. “Tell me where the Hwangs’ secret hideout is. If not, I’m afraid I’ll have to change my weapon with something more impactful.”

One of the men hands him a gun. Seungmin takes it to the hostage, loading it near his ear. “I-I’ll tell you! Please spare me!”

The hostage goes on to provide all information that Seungmin needs. He swings his bat once again, hitting the hostage’s waist before throwing it again. You’re frozen to your spot, the whole event unfolding right before you feels like a stab on your heart. Seungmin runs his hand through his disheveled hair, then notices you standing there.

“What the fuck Y/N what are you doing here?!” he yells, voice shaky and raspy. Seungmin quickly turns around to his people, pointing at the hostage who’s lost his consciousness. “Take him away,” he commands lowly. “You’re all dismissed.”

The men drag the hostage’s body and leave the place quietly. Now, it’s just you and him facing each other. Seungmin is about to take your hand in his, but decides to stop himself when he realizes that they’re covered in blood.

“Did Mr. Song drive you here?”

You don’t answer. You can’t answer. Your body shakes as you involuntary recall how Seungmin beat the hostage up. The look in his eyes, his emotionless voice, the way he swung his bat without hesitation.

“What are you, Kim Seungmin?” you quiver, taking a step further from him. You need to get out, you need to be anywhere but here. You need something, anything that can make you forget what you just witnessed.

“Please,” Seungmin pleads. “Please Y/N. I’ll tell you everything. Please listen to me.”

“This is what you’ve been trying to hide from me? The fact that you torture people to get what you want?!”

Seungmin eventually grabs your hands, begging you to look at him. “I’m looking for other ways, love,” he utters. “But for now I have to do whatever my father says. His words are law, but I’ve vowed to myself that it won’t be like this for too long. I’ll stop him.”

You swat his hands away. “For years you made me think that we couldn’t be together because I wasn’t born with a silver spoon in my mouth, that no matter what I did I would never be good enough, that I would never be able to fit in. It turns out you’re just saving yourself, aren’t you Kim Seungmin? You only care about yourself!”

“How am I supposed to tell you that this is me, Y/N? How am I supposed to tell you that this is how my family lives? Would you—,” he pauses, wiping his tear-stained cheeks. “Would you even spare me a glance if you knew that I’m no better than a murderer?!”

“That’s up to me to decide!” you shout. “You don’t get to make decisions for me, Seungmin, but you didn’t even give me a choice in the first place!”

When he runs out of words to say, you force your body to turn around, exiting the warehouse with your last bit of strength left. Mr. Song is waiting for you, your heels ready for you to wear. You slip into them, refusing to look into his eyes when he offers you help.

You feel Seungmin’s eyes on you as you walk away. Even after what happened, you can’t help but return his gaze. He looks broken and lost—on other days, you would have run to him and took him into your arms.

But now is not the time, no matter how desperate you are for answers. You turn on your heels, your heart shattering into pieces as you remember the question Seungmin asked you in Busan.

“Do you trust me?”

Jisu’s maid pushes a trolley full of snacks and drinks into her room. You politely refuse everything, but your friend pours herself a glass of champagne, chugging it down in one go. She lets out a dejected sigh once the maid leaves the room, glancing at you warily.

“I’m so, sorry Y/N,” she whispers. “I can’t believe his father did that to you.”

“Did he really send me there so I could see Seungmin like that? And you knew about this?”

“I didn’t!” Jisu exclaims. “I mean, I do get the gist what his father does, but I never knew it was that bad. And I didn’t know he asked Seungmin to do all the dirty deeds himself. That man and his greed.”

Jisu sits beside you. “The way Seungmin’s family runs the law firm changed since his father took over,” she explains. “I guess this is why he wins every single case now. He does literally everything to win, and he expects Seungmin to do things his way later.”

“Has Seungmin ever told you this?”

“No,” she mumbles. “I know Seungmin’s been stressed high school, but I never knew this was the reason. He’s seeing his therapist almost every day, Y/N. I thought you would help him and vice versa. I know the two of you have liked each other since forever. I’m sorry.”

You wrap your arms around her. “You’ve been nothing but sweet to us. You, Felix, Chan… you guys are my everything.”

“How about Seungmin?” Jisu starts sobbing. “I’ll respect your decision whatever it is, but what are you going to do now?”

You try to clear your mind, imagining how you and Seungmin will be if you live without each other. Will you be able to bear the unimaginable pain? Will he?

“Jisu, do you know if Seungmin’s parents are home?”

“No, they’re in Paris with my Mom.”

“Then can you drive me to his place?”

The Kim family butler takes you to Seungmin’s bedroom. He knocks the door, waiting for a while before opening it when nobody answers. The big room is empty, but the attic ladder is pulled down. “Young Master likes to spend his time in the attic. He probably fell asleep there,” the butler says.

You nod, thanking him before climbing up. The attic is neat and warm, with Seungmin’s photos decorating the walls. Several dog plushies are placed on a small wooden rack, while some get special spots near his mattress.

You lie down beside him, taking a good look of his sleeping form. He’s no longer covered in blood (which definitely makes things easier for you), and his steady breathing calms you down within seconds. You wonder how it feels like having to sacrifice everything in order to have everything. You think about how Seungmin wakes up in fear everyday, waiting for his father’s cruel orders.

“Y/N?”

Seungmin blinks at you, squinting to make sure that it’s really you. “Hi. Your butler let me in.”

He scrambles to get up, but you stop him. “Lie down. You must be tired.”

You scoot closer to him, feeling his body tense up when you circle your arms around his torso. “You can tell me everything now.”

Seungmin begins his story, explaining how his father never says no to clients, no matter how impossible their cases are to win. He often works with his clients to eliminate everyone in their way, using any methods possible. When Seungmin started high school, his father told him to watch how the law firm worked, and eventually forced him to do things by himself so he would “toughen up” and “understand how business works.”

“Mr. Song has been helping me form plans to end this. He’s Father’s most trusted person, so he knows everything. I still do fact checks, of course. I’m trying to be as careful as possible. I’m trying to take down my own father, and if I take even a step wrong, it’ll be over for Mother and I.”

You sigh, burying your face in the crook of his neck as you pat his back softly. Seungmin keeps his hands to his side the whole time, afraid to cross the line although you’re glued to him.

“Father has ears everywhere Y/N. He probably knows how serious I am with you and wanted to test you. I’m sorry you had to see all of that.”

“Test me?”

“Yeah. Whoever decides to stay with me after knowing everything will earn his approval.”

“Has anybody else gone through that?”

“No,” he answers. “Believe it or not, you’re my first girlfriend.”

You raise your eyebrow. “Believe it or not? Of course I do, it’s obvious that you had no dating experience!”

“Y/N,” he calls out. “You’re here to say goodbye, right?”

Seungmin has pulled you away, sitting up and waiting for you to do the same. “It’s okay. If I were you, I’d be so disgusted at myself too. Don’t think about me, just think about what’s best for you.”

“You never… killed anyone, right?”

He shakes his head. “I’ll never do that. You have my words.”

“I trust you, Seungmin,” you state. “I asked myself again and again, but my answer remains the same. You’re not a bad person and I trust you. I know you by heart, and I’ll love you as long as I can.”

You wish you could promise only boy you’ve ever loved an eternal love—it sounds beautiful, something that lasts forever. But you know better than to give Seungmin empty promises. He’ll probably break your heart if life doesn’t allow him to change his world, but you’re willing to take the risk.

Seungmin releases the breath he seemed to be holding for the past few minutes. “That’s my girl,” he praises. “That’s all I could ask for.”

“Let’s only think about now, okay? You’re not alone anymore, you have me.”

You cup his cheeks and capture him in a loving kiss, basking in the warmth of his body when he scoops you into his arms. Seungmin’s gestures still feel hesitant, but you convince him with every kiss, with every sweet word you utter against his lips until he finally melts and kisses you harder, each kiss more ardent than before.

“You’re never lacking in my eyes, don’t forget that,” Seungmin tells you, enunciating each word clearly so you’ll let it sink in. “You’ve always been more than enough. Everything I could ask for.”

You only grin, pecking his swollen lips one more time before allowing yourself to fall asleep, listening to his heartbeat.

Both of you let your own images of the future loom over you for so long, feeding yourselves with doubt and fear.

Now it’s time to let go.

more a/n: i spent a long time writing this, i hope this is still good and not boring! i’m happy that my first story in 2020 is for seungmin. the ending is somewhat bittersweet, but it was the only option that felt right to me.

228 notes · View notes

poisxnyouth · 4 years

Text

hs dave. chapter 4. (d.d)

A/N: i’ve written this 3 different times and idk why this is being so annoying today but 🙂 follow aly @idkdobrik and ros @occasionally-angelic i’m super excited for you guys to read this one - i’m really proud of it and i think it’s my favorite of all 4❤️ enjoy & let me know what you think !!

WC: 12,027

“Um...Actually, Dave, can you go home?” You’re stopped in the driveway of your house and seated in Dom’s backseat with David. Dom has always been your designated driver, and he was probably planning on going back to the party to drop more kids off at home. He tends to enjoy taking care of drunk teenagers, saying, “It’s fun because I’m the one who remembers all of the drama and no one else does.”

David halts the clumsy unbuckling of his seatbelt, more drunk than he was 20 minutes prior, face faltering slightly, “I mean, yeah. Okay. I guess. Call me?”

You nod, “‘Course.”

“Okay. I love you.”

You swallow nervously, faking a smile and moving to shut the car door.

“Wait-,” you hear him say, leaning forward to grab your hand, nearly pleading, “Say it back.”

You repeat the words, glancing over at Dom and bidding both of them goodnight. David kisses the back of your hand before releasing it, apathetic towards the lingering presence in the car. Dom watches and waits until you get through your front door before you hear him drive away.

You should probably still be drunk, you’re not sure how you aren’t, but David’s words definitely did the job to sober you up.

Alex isn’t an entire idiot, and you trust his judgment. He can tell something is up, too; maybe it’s not just you. Maybe everyone else can see what you’re feeling for him; maybe you’re wrong about how you feel; or maybe David’s just an oblivious idiot.

You’re barely peeling off the night’s clothes before he texts you, “Baby, can we FaceTimeeeee? Say yes. Pls.” You roll your eyes, still giving in to him no matter how badly you want to be alone and think. You quickly take off your makeup, shower, and change, David’s cum still running between your thighs. You clean up his mess.

The line rings just once before he picks up, seemingly awaiting your call, his face too close to the camera.

“Baby,” he slurs his words, “I miss you. Come over.”

“David, it’s two in the morning. I’m tired,” you try to come up with an excuse, propping your phone up against your bathroom mirror and beginning to brush your teeth.

“Nooooooo,” he pouts, “You’re so lame. D’you even know how many times I’ve snuck into your house ‘cause you said you wanted to see me? Soooo many. Please come over. I wanna see you.”

“You just saw me,” you say, muffled before you spit and rinse.

“I know, but I wanna sleep with you. Baby, please? I can’t walk anywhere. I can barely move.” You can see him playing with his hair at the top of the frame, nose and eyes almost taking up the entire screen.

“Fine, I’ll come,” you say, “But drink some water.”

“I can’t move,” David defends, “Are you leaving now? Go through the front door. It’s fine. It’s unlocked.”

“Yes, Dave, I’m leaving now. I’ll be there in fifteen. Bye.” You quickly hang up, wondering why you put yourself in this situation again. He’s just going to confuse you even more.

“Baaaaaabyyyyyy!” He happily exclaims, stretched out on his bed in his underwear as you come through his door. David pats the space next to him as you kick your shoes off, moving to get into bed with him.

“Nononono,” he protests, tugging at your shirt, “No clothes. Please.”

He watches you undress down to your underwear, sitting on the edge of his bed as you do so, feeling his lips press sloppily against your shoulder blade and his lingering hands on your waist.

You know how he is when he’s drunk beyond belief: a big baby who wants to be held. You lay next to him before he silently scoots further down. His arms wrap around your torso and he tangles your legs together, head resting on your chest. He always tries to make the size difference work.

He sighs quietly, eyes fluttering shut as you kiss his head and play with his hair.

“Davey, baby,” you say softly, not wanting to disturb him entirely.

He hums in response, eyes not opening and not moving a muscle.

You go quiet, “...Did you brush your teeth?”

He pauses, still unmoving, “...Yes.”

“Kiss me.” You know he’s lying; you can still smell the alcohol on his breath.

He leans up and kisses you, closed-mouth, before pulling away. He would never. The kiss alone could probably get you drunk - you’re not sure how he’s functioning at all.

“You’re lying. Go do it,” you shove him off as he gripes, rolling out of bed and making his way to the bathroom attached to his room.

He shuts the door, for some reason, before you hear the sink turn on. You realize he’s still probably not brushing his teeth. Why is he actually five years old?

You get up and open the door and see him standing in front of the sink, watching the faucet.

“David, oh my God,” you roll your eyes, “Just fucking do it. You’ll thank me in the morning.”

He does, and you resume the position you both were in beforehand.

You wait for the subtle snores to make their appearance, but they never do. He remains quiet.

“Babe,” he says, still slurring and nearly half-asleep, “How come you didn't want me there tonight?”

“Just wanted to be alone,” you say, hoping he’ll drop it as you comb your fingers through his hair.

“But you hate being alone,” David points out, arms wrapping around you tighter, “I don’t know if I did something to make you not wanna be with me tonight, but if I did, I’m really sorry.”

“It’s okay, baby.”

“So, I did do something? Tell me,” he demands, eyes still closed as you hold him. He’s practically brain dead.

“It’s no big deal, Dave, I swear. I’m here right now, okay? With you. It’s all good,” you reassure, running your hands down his back. “We’re okay.”

“Alright,” he sighs, “I just don't wanna do it again, whatever it is. Kiss me, please.”

You love his kisses when he’s in this mood. They always make you think he could be in love with you too. They’re always soft, but deep, and he makes these noises in the back of his throat you wish you could hear forever. He always tells you how beautiful you are when he pulls away, and he always has the most wonderful blush spread across his cheeks. You always tell yourself it’s from the alcohol, not you, no matter how much you wish you were the cause.

David stops, lips gently leaving yours and tugging you as close as he can, eyes scanning your face. If it was anyone else staring you down this closely, you’d feel uncomfortable and intruded upon. No matter his levels of intoxication, the look in his eyes is always the same when he gets a sight of you.

If you think about it too much, your heart may burst.

“Go to sleep, baby,” you tell him, kissing his forehead. He nods slightly, leaning up to quickly press his lips to yours and moving his head back to your chest.

“I love you, Y/N,” he says, eyes already shut, “I mean it. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Dave. I love you too.”

You wake up the next morning with your head smushed in David’s chest, legs tangled together and one of his hands in your hair.

He’s awake, back propped against his headboard and scrolling through his phone. He feels your stirring and tosses his phone to the side, both hands moving to your waist. David leans his head down, quickly pressing sloppy kisses all over your face.

“Daviiiiid!” you whine, pulling him closer, “Good morning.”

He kisses you on the mouth this time, your arms habitually wrapping around his neck before he pulls away, repeating to you, “Good morning, baby.”

“What time is it?” you ask, “How’s your head?”

“Fine,” he says, “Dom made me take, like, four aspirin before he dropped me off. It’s ten, but-,” he cuts himself off, sliding back into bed and wrapping his arms around you.

“I just wanna stay in bed all day,” Dave admits, burying his head deep in your shoulder.

“Until noon,” you bargain, “I have homework to do.”

“Ugh,” he groans, “Okay, but can I still stay with you?”

You shake your head slightly, “It’s a bunch of my AP reading; it’s due Monday. You’re gonna be bored. It’ll take a few hours, but I’ll text you when you can come over?”

He nods, simply saying, “Alright.”

“Can we fuck?” David blurts, “Like, later?”

“...Yes? Why do you still ask? You know you can just-”

“Because I wanna make sure! You’ve been acting weird lately,” he shrugs, hands flat against your skin.

“How?” You ask, anxious that he’s taken notice of your change in behavior.

“I dunno what it is,” he describes vaguely, “I don’t know if it’s this or school stuff or work stuff or friend stuff, but you’re always thinking about something. I see it on your face. The only time I don’t see it is when I’m fucking you.”

His answer makes you stifle a laugh, moving to put your head in his chest, “That’s ‘cause you fuck it out of my head.”

“What is it, though?” Dave asks, turning on his side to face you, free hand on your cheek, “What’s bothering you?”

“It’s no big deal, baby, I swear-”

“Bullshit,” he says quietly, “Something’s going on with you, but I’m not gonna force it out of you.”

“I’ll tell you later, okay?” You promise without thinking of the severity and repercussions your admission will bring. Your feelings begin to resemble some shape of a burden; you love what you two share together too much - you don’t want to ruin it.

He nods, eyes on yours, repeating, “Okay. I know you’ll tell me when you want to.”

“I just get nervous,” David elaborates, “Besides last night, it just seems like, lately, at least, whenever we do anything, you’re super in your head. I can’t tell if you want it or not. Since last week when we fucked in the car, I think? I feel like that’s when I picked up on it, I dunno…” he trails off, fingertips running gently down your arm.

Fuck. He knows. He has to. That’s the night you realized.

“That’s - that’s why I asked,” he admits, stuttering slightly, “I just wanted to make sure you still wanted it from me.”

“I’ll always want it from you,” you tell him, arm thrown haphazardly around his shoulders, “As long as you want me.”

You shouldn’t have said that - you don’t want the response because you already know what it is.

“I’ll always want you,” he says, as you knew he would, “And maybe you’ll always want me, but that's not the point…”

It almost feels like he’s sweet talking you as his hands flatten against the small of your back, continuing, “Are you happy with this?”

“What?” you ask, the tone of your voice going up as you motion between the two of you, “This?”

“Of course I’m happy with this, Dave,” you tell him the truth, “I love this and I love you.”

You shouldn't have said that either:

“...As friends?” He asks, as he always does.

“As friends, baby,” you reassure, swallowing nervously as you lie to both of you. David stops for a second, eyes flickering across your face before he slowly leans in.

You kiss him back, thinking of how much you hate lying to him but also of how much you love what you share.

Your phone vibrates loudly on Dave’s nightstand, interrupting your moment as he leans to grab it for you.

“It’s a text from Natalie,” he says, handing the phone to you and returning to his original position of lying on his back, your head in his chest.

Do you remember fucking Alex & Dave last night?! Everyone heard it!!! You can’t even deny it.

You laugh, passing the phone to him for him to read it.

Yes, I remember, Nat.

...was it good? it sounded like it

David makes a face at that one, saying, “Fuck, people know now.”

“I don’t really care,” you admit, “It doesn’t matter to me. It’s our business.”

“I guess,” he says, “I just don’t want people saying bad shit about you. Since we’re best friends.”

Yes, it was good🙄 David’s dick is huge

Gross!!!! TMI...and Alex?

I don't remember what he was like, I was too focused on David lol

Natalie calls you on FaceTime, and you look at David, “Do I answer it?”

“Fuck it, she already knows we hooked up,” he says, sitting up slightly, your head still on his chest.

You hit the green button, waiting for her face to appear.

“Oh. My. GOD,” her jaw drops, reacting to the visual of you and Dave still together, mostly naked, “You guys! No! My friends can’t be hooking up! Not...more than once!”

“We’re not,” you say, “Never again.”

“Okay, I know that’s a lie,” Nat calls you out, “You said it was good and you’re a sucker for good dick-”

“It’s not just good,” you defend, “It’s great-”

“Okay, ew!” She fake vomits, David laughing behind you, “Stop talking. I don’t need to know that! Anyways, God damn it, you guys! You just made me lose twenty bucks to Dima.”

“What do you mean?” David asks, moving to hold your hand out of frame.

“He knew, like, a month ago that something was going on, and I defended you guys and was like, ‘Nooo, I think they’re just close again!’ but now I feel like an idiot.”

“We weren't fucking a month ago!” Dave says, managing to get out, “Last night was the first-” before Nat cuts him off:

“Oh, so you’re fucking now? Lying is a sin, you guys. Don’t lie to me; I’ll kill both of you. It was so obvious you guys had done it before. How long have you been fucking?”

You let David answer, squeezing his hand gently, “It’s been, you know, like, a month. Month and a half, maybe.”

“I hate Dima so much,” she says, “Why is he always right about everything? Do I need to smoke more weed or something?”

“That would definitely help with the bitchiness,” Dave says, “It’s really not that big of a deal, Nat, like, we’re not dating or anything-”

“Yeah, for now,” Nat says, “It’s coming. I can see it.”

“It’s definitely not,” David ensures, “I can promise you.”

“Whatever you say, Dave,” she rolls her eyes, “I gotta go. Y/N, if you ever leave David’s bed again, come over. I need to talk to you about something.”

“Okay,” you say, “I will in a little bit.”

“Wait,” David says softly, “Am I still coming over, or…?”

“Yeah, of course! I mean, it won’t take that long at her’s, so-”

“Ugh,” Nat intervenes, “Gross. Get a room. Bye, love you guys, use protection.”

She hangs up before either of you can answer and David groans, hands going through his hair, “Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.”

“It’ll be okay,” you promise him, “If anyone should know, it’s her.”

“I know, but…” he trails, arms moving to wrap around you, “This was ours. No one else's.”

“It still is, baby,” you tell him, “They might know we fuck, but...this is still ours.”

“Yeah,” he half-heartedly agrees, tutting quietly, “Jesus. We had a fucking threeway with Alex. That's crazy.”

“I almost forgot he was there, honestly,” you admit, listening to David’s breathing patterns.

“I fucking didn’t,” he scoffs, tone of his voice turning rude and harsh, “Had to sit through watching him fuck you the wrong way. He's a dipshit, trying to tell me how to fuck my girl. Get the fuck out of here.”

“Jeez,” you say, eyebrows flying upwards in surprise, “Remember when you said Alex didn't make you jealous?”

He scoffs again, moving into his nightstand to grab his cigarettes, weed, grinder, and blunts, speaking, “That was before we all had a threesome. I didn't think he was into you like that - I said I wanted to fuck you years ago and he said he wasn't into you. Should’ve known his ass was lying.”

“Wait, what?” you question confusedly, “This was a conversation you guys had?”

“I mean, yeah,” David shrugs his shoulders, fidgeting with the objects, “Like, smash or pass shit. Freshman year. All of the guys knew how bad I wanted to fuck you, so they all passed you - except Ilya, but...that’s Ilya. I don’t take him seriously.”

“It’s really not a big deal. I’m sure, like, you and Nat have done the same shit. It’s stupid,” he continues, changing the subject, “But, baby, you know what he fucking asked me after we all fucked?”

“What?” You ask, sitting up and scooting so you’re next to him. David lights a cigarette and grabs his psychology textbook from his floor, setting it on his lap.

He takes a drag of his cigarette before passing it to you, indicating for you to hold it while he removes his blunt from the package so he can begin rolling it. “He asked me if I would be cool with him trying to make a move on you! Like-”

He pauses, taking a razorblade from the surface of his nightstand and concentrating on slicing the Swisher open, quickly scraping off and dumping the tobacco into the garbage can by his bed. “Like, he had literally just watched me cum inside of you and saw all of the marks I left on you from the other day, and he’s gonna ask me if he can make a move?”

He grabs his grinder and opens it, stuffing around a gram of weed in before closing it, grinding the contents down into shake. David takes his cigarette back from you, propping it between his lips and taking a drag as he continues to work. He moves the stick back to your fingers as he carefully opens the bottom of the grinder and dumps the shake into the shell of the blunt, evening it out, continuing to speak, “Like, dude, what the fuck? Love that guy ‘till I die, but he’s a fucking idiot.”

“Why does that make you so mad?” You question, taking a quick drag from his horrendous Red as he habitually rolls, licks, and sticks.

David looks at you as if you're stupid, “Because you’re my girl? Or did you forget that fact when you had another dude’s dick in you?”

He rolls his eyes before quickly apologizing, “I’m sorry. I didn't mean that. Anybody else having you pisses me off, but that's no excuse to be an asshole to you.”

He takes his cigarette back from you, finishing it off quickly and tossing the butt in a water bottle on his bedside table. David sets his items on the floor, placing the blunt in his mouth and lighting up, back pressed against his headboard.

“It’s just, like,” he keeps going, still angry, eyebrows scrunched together, “Don’t look at me weird for what I’m about to say, okay? Like, this kid...watched me fuck the life out of you, and sure, I guess he had some part of that - which makes me mad, too - but how is he gonna hear me tell you, and you’re, like, practically my girlfriend, right? To me, that’s how he should think of you here. How is he gonna hear me tell you that you’re mine and then ask if he can make a move on you?”

He nonchalantly passes the blunt to you, like he didn't just say you were practically dating, and you try to not let it hurt as much as it does. You hit it, holding the smoke in your lungs as he stares into his room, obviously having more to say.

“Fuck threesomes, man,” Dave says, shaking his head slightly as you pass it back to him, “Fucking ridiculous. I’m glad I tried it, but fuck that. Shit was horrible.”

“I didn't think it was that bad,” you offer, unsure of where he’s going with his angry rambling as he takes another hit, ghosting it and holding the smoke.

“If it was another girl,” he counters, exhaling, “You’d probably feel the way I do. But I don't even wanna fuck another chick. That’s wack. I can't even look at other girls anymore.”

“Are you mad at me for suggesting it or something?” His passive aggressive tone is angering you now, “It really sounds like it.”

His face untenses, hand coming to your knee as he bites his lip, “No. Fuck, I’m sorry. I’m a jealous asshole.”

“I know you just wanted to see,” he continues, “All three of us were pretty plastered. Maybe I’m overthinking it. Alex is probably still blacked out in his bed.”

“Still, though,” David says obstinately, continuing to smoke, “Alex is a fucking idiot. It, like, hurt my dick watching him try to fuck you.”

“Again, I don’t even remember him fucking me at all,” you shrug, plucking the blunt from him and taking another hit. “I was focused on you the whole time.”

“I wouldn't expect anything less,” he confidently scoffs, “You’re my girl. Forever and always. Fuck Alex. Now, I have to keep a fucking eye on him. Dipshit.”

David puts the blunt out as he finishes it, tossing the roach to the side.

“So…,” you trail off, kissing his cheek and scooting closer, moving your head to rest on his shoulder, “I take it you don't want another threesome?”

He turns to look down at you, eyebrows scrunched together and confusion etched into his features, “Fuck no. You do?

You shrug, opening your mouth to answer his question before he continues, “Why do you wanna fuck other people so bad? You told me you don't think of anyone else. Do you want to, like, stop this altogether?”

He’s offended, now, and it’s clear to you he was hiding his feelings about the threeway - you suggesting it did bother him. You clear your throat before speaking, “No. Of course, I don’t. Davey, baby, it’s not about fucking other people. I don't care about that and I don't think of anyone else. I just...um…” you pause, moving to fidget with his fingertips.

“What?” He asks, tone still harsh, “Spit it out, baby. Why bring in someone else if you don't want to fuck them?”

“I would just, um,” you look around his room, suddenly hesitant about what you’re going to say next, “You know, I want to get jealous…”

David’s still confused and still jealous as he delicately laces your fingers together - his loving actions not matching his harsh words. “Okay, that doesn't make sense. If you want to get jealous, then why bring in Alex?”

You pause, knowing he’s right. You brought in Alex only to see if you had feelings for David - and you hate that you figured it out at the expense of both of them. You chew on your lip and Dave squeezes your hand, indicating he’s still waiting on a response from you before he speaks again, “Wait...are you, like, into Alex?”

You roll your eyes, answering quickly, “No, David, I’m not into him. I don't even know him. The reason I brought him in is because...of what I’m going to tell you later. It’ll make sense. Just...don’t be angry with me. It feels like you are.”

“I’m not, I swear,” he promises, kissing the back of your attached hands, “I’m just, not, like...I’m not sharing, you know? And if you wanna bring in another girl...I also don't really want that.”

“Really?” You ask, “Why not?”

“Because...like, I know I’d just be paying attention to you the whole time, so…” He trails off, voice oddly quiet, “I’m not gonna bring in a girl that I’m not even attracted to, stare at you the whole time, cum for you, and then tell her to leave. There's no point. I like it when it’s just us…”

David rolls his eyes before offering, seemingly calming down a little bit, “It’s not a big deal. We’re exclusive friends with benefits - nothing’s changing that. Alex just needs to chill and shut up, and we’re not having another threesome...Case closed.”

You nod against him, not caring about the subject as much as he does, head still resting on his shoulder with his hand resting lovingly on the inside of your thigh.

“Jesus Chriiiiiist,” he drags out after a moment of silence, changing the subject and rubbing at his eyes with his free hand, “That's good fucking weed. Ilya and I went into the city for that shit. Chicago shit hits differently. One blunt and I’m already gone.”

You try to ignore the thought of how hot he is when he’s jealous - jaw clenching, eyes rolling, voice deep and defensive. You also try to ignore his haphazard use of the word girlfriend as you move on top of him, legs on each side of him as you hold both of his hands. You begin to feel buzzed, not as stoned as he seems to feel, as his dick twitches under your ass.

“Put your hair up. Ponytail, though; not a bun.”

“Why?”

“Just do it.” This is more jealous sex coming from him.

You unlace your fingers from his and do as you’re told, maintaining eye contact with him.

“Suck my dick.” David doesn’t say please, because why does he have to when he knows you will regardless?

You move once more - this time, off of him and between his legs, gently tugging at his underwear.

He waves your hands off, doing it himself and tossing the article of clothing somewhere on his floor.

He doesn't touch his own dick at all, moving both hands to grasp at your hair and push your mouth all the way down.

“Look at me,” he demands, pushing you down further as he bucks his hips up.

You do, meeting his eyes as you try to take as much of him as you can.

“More,” he says, not removing the pressure from your head, “All the way down, babygirl. There you go. Fuck.”

He holds your head there, fucking up into your mouth until you gag. David releases you when you do, allowing you to spit and wipe your mouth - although, his preference is when it’s messy.

While your mouth is off of him, he moves to his knees with his hands remaining on your ponytail, forcing you to move with him.

One of his hands moves to your cheeks, squishing them up together, before saying, “Open your mouth.”

You do, closing your eyes and expecting his dick down your throat once more, but he tips your head up and spits directly into your mouth.

Sparing no time, David pushes his dick all the way in.

“Look at me,” he gently reminds, hips unmoving, waiting for your eye contact before he moves.

“Good,” he praises once you do so, beginning to buck his hips up into your mouth and continue forcing your mouth up and down.

You continue this way for a few minutes, tears streaming gently down your face with the occasional gag. Every so often he slaps your cheeks, always a reminder to continue keeping eye contact with him.

He goes too deep in one stroke, dick all the way down your throat, causing your eyes to water profusely. Your hand slaps his hip, an indicator of your tapping out.

“Aw,” he tuts, “You don’t mean that. You don't really need to tap, do you?”

He pulls out of your mouth, spit dripping from your lips, letting you catch your breath for a moment before his hands tangle into your ponytail once more.

David pushes your head all the way down, where you were before you tapped, making a noise of satisfaction, “More. Take it.”

He continues applying pressure to the back of your head, hips bucking up, watching your tears stream down your face as you take him.

He tugs on your ponytail hard, not to pull you off, but to get your attention, “Come on, baby. You can do better than that. Take it.”

You do take it, savoring his every noise. You can feel when he’s about to cum, his movements becoming faster and more hasty.

He pulls his dick out of your mouth quickly, palm of his hand gently hitting your cheek as his way to tell you to open your mouth again. David jerks off above you, upholding his beloved eye contact, grunting as his cum hits all over your face and in your mouth.

“Holy fuck,” he says once he has partially recovered from his orgasm, reaching for his phone. Shamelessly, he holds up the device and takes a picture of you: tongue hanging out, tear-stained cheeks, eye contact with the camera, and a mixture of spit and cum all over your chin, lips, and cheeks.

Dave tosses it to the side once he’s gotten his photo, running his fingers over your lips.

Once again, he leans forward and spits in your mouth, fingers messily mixing his cum and his spit on your tongue.

He’s disgusting, and you always knew he was.

He proves you right once more, leaning down and attaching your mouths, tongue sliding against yours. You feel David’s fingers blindly push at the cum on your cheeks as he kisses you, nudging it inside of your mouth. Only Dave would kiss you with his fingers in your mouth.

He pulls away, removing his fingers and kissing your forehead, watching your throat move as you swallow. He gets off of the bed, tugging his underwear back on and moving into his bathroom.

“You’re gross,” he says simply, “Letting me do that to you.”

David's wetting a washcloth as he speaks, running the warm water from the tap.

“You’re the gross one, you did it,” you defend as he walks back over, fingers gently framing your face as he wipes away the mess he made.

“Yeah, but you let me,” he says, tugging lightly on the hair tie holding your hair up and dropping it next to you, “I nutted so hard that my balls hurt. Jesus.”

He tosses the now dirty washcloth somewhere into his bathroom, crawling back into bed with you.

“I should get going soon,” you tell him, slipping the hair tie back over your wrist, “Since I have to go see Nat now.”

“Okay,” he kisses you quickly, “D’you want me to eat you out before you go?”

“It’s fine,” you yawn, “We’re gonna fuck later, anyway.”

“I already miss you and you haven’t even left yet.”

You attempt to ignore him, leaning up to attach your lips. David pulls away after a few kisses, breaking, “You still taste like my cum.”

“Apparently, you like that,” you say, kissing him again.

“A little bit,” he murmurs, “A lot a bit. ‘S so hot.”

His right hand comes to your face, thumb on one cheek and forefingers on the other, squishing the skin up as he kisses you.

“You need to go,” David says, pulling away his hand and lips, “Or I’ll end up fucking you here. It’s almost noon, anyway, and my balls need to recover.”

You stifle a giggle, nodding, “Okay. But wait, Davey-”

“What's up?”

“Did you…” you trail, mulling over your next words to say them carefully, “Did you still think I was acting weird just now? When I was blowing you?”

He makes a face, “Kinda. It’s kind of an all-the-time thing. It makes me sad.”

“Why?” you ask, frowning, arms thrown around him.

“Because I don't know what it is. If I did, maybe I could fix it…”

Your heart drops at his words, suddenly feeling incredibly guilty for what you’re going to have to tell him later. He doesn't know he won't be able to fix this. The only thing he can give you is a yes or a no.

“Later today,” you promise, “Okay? I need to figure out how to talk about it first.”

“I get it,” David nods understandingly, “I love you, baby. As friends.”

“I love you too...As friends.” It hurts to say, especially knowing the truth - especially knowing you’re lying to him.

He kisses your forehead and slaps your ass, saying, “You should go now. The sooner you get that shit done, the sooner I can cum in you.”

“You’re a whore.”

Dave responds with a matter of fact yup, shoving you gently.

He watches as you silently slip back into your clothes, pajamas from the night prior, eyes lingering lovingly.

You grab your keys and phone, giving him a final goodbye kiss and quiet I love you before you head out of the door.

“I’ll see you in a few, baby. Be careful.”

“You like him,” Nat says confidently in her greeting, first time seeing you of the day, “I know you do. I saw it on your face.”

She expects you to attempt to lie - for you to blush uncontrollably, stammering about how you don’t have a crush on your shared best friend...who you happen to be fucking.

But you don’t, and it surprises her:

“Yeah,” you admit, kicking your shoes off as you enter her room, “I do. I don’t know what to do.”

“He doesn’t know?” Natalie gapes from her bed, “Y/N, you have to tell him!”

“I know, but I’m scared.” You sigh as you throw yourself onto her bed, hugging a pillow to your chest, “It’s gonna make things weird, and I just really like how things are right now.”

“Is it worth it, though? Are you really satisfied?”

You dodge her question, “I just don’t know what to say! ‘Hey, Dave, I think I love you, but not just as friends!’”

“...That's exactly what you say! Look,” she moves to face towards you, legs crossed, “You know he’s stupid. We all know it. I don’t know how you guys are when no one else is around, but he probably feels the same way and doesn't realize it, okay?”

You shake your head in disagreement, “No, you don’t get it. He's constantly saying that everything we do, we do as friends. He makes me repeat it to him.”

“Well, what do you mean by everything? I thought you guys were just fucking - is there other stuff involved, too?”

You stop momentarily, scratching your head and wondering if you should tell her anything else.

“Ohhhh,” she says, realizing something without you elaborating, “I see what happened. So, you guys fucked, thought, ‘Hey, maybe this isn't a terrible idea!’, said there were no strings attached, but now he acts like you're his girlfriend all the time. And now you're confused.”

“Um, yeah. That's what happened.”

“You guys suck at keeping secrets. Both of you.”

She continues, “When did you guys even fuck for the first time, anyway?”

“The night before homecoming. Like, after the football game. About a month ago.”

“...But both of you were at my house?” Nat questions, “Oh my God. Tell me you didn’t.”

“Didn’t what?” You play dumb, heat rising in your cheeks.

“Did you guys fuck in my house?”

“...Maybe-”

“Ew! Where? Actually, I don’t even want to know.”

“Anyways,” she changes the subject, slightly shivering at the thought of you and David together, “Just tell him. He cares about you and he’s never been an asshole to you.”

“I just don’t want him to take it the wrong way-”

Natalie interrupts you, “How else would he take it? Y/N, it’s either a yes or a no. There’s not really an in between with this.

“Also, remember he’s never actually been with anyone before. He probably just doesn't know how to realize he has feelings for you,” she lays down completely, staring at her ceiling.

“What makes you so sure he has feelings for me?”

“Well,” she sighs, “I’m not sure, honestly, because I mean, you know he doesn't really get crushes on people. But David…” Nat trails, “needs people to point out things and tell him what he wants. Not to say he doesn't know how to make his own decisions, but he’s just oblivious.”

“I know he is,” you agree, moving to lay down next to her, also staring at the ceiling, “He’s kind of an idiot.”

“I just don’t want to be another Sami,” you admit, “He seemed annoyed by that.”

“Wait, what? What do you mean, ‘another Sami’?” You feel her head move slightly, turning to look at you.

“Oh, shit. You don’t know? David and Sami hooked up. For a while. She took his virginity.”

“What the fuck?” She sits up, eyes on yours and eyebrows scrunched together, “Why’d they stop? And why didn't he tell me?”

“They stopped because she caught feelings for him,” you shrug, “I dunno, Nat. He’s told me he doesn't like talking about his sex life around you.”

“Hm,” she wonders, “He’s so weird about things sometimes. I hope you’re not another Sami, either. But I hope it goes well for you, girl,” Natalie says, “You guys would be cute.”

“Thanks, Nat,” you get up and off of her bed, “I have homework, but he's coming by later. I guess I’ll tell him after we fuck-”

“I honestly do not want to hear about that part - and why wait until afterwards? Why not just straight up tell him?”

“Because, Nat, if it’s our last time, then I want to at least have a last time with him,” you reason, sliding your shoes back on.

“Awww. Did you mean it when you said he was good? Like, is he actually? I don’t want the picture, that’s gross, but he just doesn't seem like he would be to me,” Natalie questions you, now sitting up on her bed. “He seems too clumsy.”

“Dude,” you lean in closer, “Yes. He is so good. Best I’ve ever had. The first time, I was blown away. He’s not him at all when we fuck. Like, this morning, I was sucking-”

“Okay, no details, please,” she cuts you off, “Go do your homework. I’ll see you later. Let me know what happens with you guys!”

You bid her goodbye and tell her you love her, giving her a quick hug.

“Baby, let me bruise you again,” David begs in a whisper against your lips, “You look so pretty with them, and your old ones are fading...”

You nod easily into your shared kiss with him, wanting a final souvenir from your sexual relationship. You and Dave are standing in the middle of your room making out, his dick already hard as his hands creep up the back of your t-shirt. You’re not sure why he always feels the need to move so glacially slow. Maybe he likes it to last.

He pulls away gently as he tugs on the hem of your shirt, a silent indicator of his desire to see you. You cross your arms and remove it, your eyes watching as David’s fingers find the neck of his own shirt and he slips it off of his back.

He kisses you again, much deeper this time as both hands squeeze at your waist - almost as hard as he can. One hand reaches around you, lips still on yours, and effortlessly undoes the clasp of your bra. He’s gotten better at that, you think.

Mid-kiss, you slip it off of your shoulders and arms, causing David to lean out. He presses kisses down the column of your throat, your hands threading through his hair as his kisses stop beneath your collarbone.

“Put your hair up and lie down,” he tells you, hands fidgeting as he undoes his belt and tugs his pants off.

You do as you're told, assuming a ponytail is his preference and removing your hands from him, lying down on your bed. Your thumbs hook on your shorts and pull them off.

“Everything off,” David says as he gets on the bed and leans over you, fingers tugging at your underwear, sliding them down your legs.

He attaches your mouths once more before beginning his trek down your body for a second time, teeth grazing against your skin with every sloppy kiss. Still above you, he rests his weight on his hands, positioned by your head as he makes his way further downwards.

The further down he gets, the more he shifts his weight towards his legs. Dave’s hand gently comes to one of your thighs, splitting your legs apart, still moving south.

You find yourself lying there with your eyes closed, succumbing to his touch as he settles between your legs and your hands slip into his hair again.

“Look at me,” he says - an insistent, constant reminder, but he loves watching for reactions. Good reactions are when he knows he’s done well. Constant eye contact is David’s version of instant gratification during sex. His reminders are almost always gentle, never brutal or demanding, because regardless of how he asks, he will always get what he wants.

You obey him, eyes opening to the sight of him settled between your thighs, arms wrapped around your legs and hands on your stomach. Almost instantly, as soon as your eyes meet, Dave begins slowly pressing kisses up the inside of your right thigh. He waits until your breathing shudders in anticipation as his mouth moves closer to your pussy, eyes remaining on yours.

You feel his breath fan over you, causing you to buck up into his hold. He quickly pushes your hips back down, putting his weight down and bringing his head up slightly, “Be patient, baby. Don’t be a brat.”

You whine slightly, tugging more harshly on his hair as he begins the process once more, kissing up your thigh. David maintains your eye contact as he slowly attaches his mouth to you, one arm moving from around you to between your legs. He shifts over slightly to allow room for his hand, ring and middle finger deftly sliding inside of you.

You make an approving noise at that, still trying to buck your hips up into his mouth. He pulls away just enough to speak, repeating his prior statement as his fingers crook upwards, “Keep trying that shit and I won't fuck you at all. Don't be a brat for me. Tell me you hear me, baby.”

“I hear you, daddy,” you nod, “Sorry. Keep going.”

“I thought so,” he replies, “Good girl.”

Dave puts his mouth on you again, sucking steadily as he begins to move his fingers incessantly. He’s done this many times now, figuring out the exact science of how to make you cum quicker than the time before.

He seems to succeed each time by moving his fingers correctly, pinning your hips down, mouth licking and sucking at whichever pace you seem to react the most to. David’s one condition is continuous eye contact – allowing him to read the expressions on your twisted up features as he touches you the way he knows you love and giving him any indication as to when you’re going to cum.

He maintains eye contact minutes later, as well, when his dick is shoved as far as it can go down your throat. Dave keeps a hand down, wrapped around your neck, as he feels it swell and contract with every thrust of his hips.

He’s good at praising you, and he knows it; he loves the way your eyes light up when he tells you you did something well, or when he gives you the kiss you’ve been waiting for the entire time. Your relationship makes sense: he likes praising you and to be praised, and you like doing things for him so he can praise you. It’s a give and take.

David no longer wraps his dick, skipping the condom completely as he quickly bottoms out inside of you, hitting it from the back. He still hasn't entirely gotten used to the feeling of being bare, eyes rolling back slightly as he exclaims a breathless, “Oh, fuck, babygirl.”

“Daddyyyyy,” you whine, one of his hands wrapped around your ponytail. You rest your weight on your knees and palms of your hands before he tugs you by the hair, tipping your head backwards and leaning down to kiss you sloppily.

He releases you and untangles his fingers from your hair, one hand gripping your shoulder tightly as the other grasps at your hip. Dave holds you so tightly, fingertips digging in no matter where he grabs you, you can almost already feel the bruises taking shape.

He lasts longer in bed than you ever expected he would, which you never complain about - he knows how to repeatedly make you cum, fucking the brains out of you until the only thing you can think of is how good he’s fucking you.

David pulls out, ordering you to switch positions to missionary, taking no time before sliding in once more. He stares at you as he fucks you, now, resting his weight on his palms which are glued to your tits.

It’s almost suffocating, feeling at least a hundred and fifty pounds on your chest as you get fucked, but he doesn't care. If you didn't like it, you would say otherwise. The scratches down his back and blood underneath your fingernails tell him you don't just like it, you love it.

You’ve cum nearly four times before David mentions he’s close, moving his weight off of you and leaning down, arms wrapping around you as his hips speed up. His face is in your shoulder as he whimpers and you dig your nails into the skin of his back, begging him to cum inside of you as deep as he can.

He groans, voice raspy, and he does – he feels a line of blood trickle down his back as he cums, breathing heavily and making the most wonderful whimpering noises.

“Oh-,” Dave starts, “Oh my fucking God.” He pulls out, not bothering to look at your pussy before collapsing entirely on top of you. “Sorry, I just...Wow. Give me a second. I think I went to another planet.”

You giggle slightly, kissing his shoulder before glancing down at his back, “Oh, David, baby. Your back.”

“It’s fine,” he says, “Is it worse than last time?”

“Ummm,” you pause, “It’s definitely more bloody. Sorry.” You show him your bloody palms, his eyes rolling in response.

He moves off of you, knowing you want to go get a washcloth and peroxide to clean his back up with.

You tug your pajamas back on and move into the bathroom attached to your room, filing through your cabinets and gathering supplies.

You return to his still form after washing your hands, David seemingly still recovering from his orgasm as you wet the cloth with the liquid.

“Was it that good? I doubt it,” you say, laughing slightly as you press it to one of the wounds.

He hisses in response, mumbling, “Fuck. Your pussy felt like the universe.”

You ignore him, rolling your eyes and continuing to clean the abrasions, regardless of his protests. Once he’s all cleaned, you toss the trash and return back to bed with him, David rolling over and moving so you can settle into his arms.

“I can smoke in here, right, baby?” David asks, “The windows are open.”

“Go for it,” you say, “If they’re open, you can, and if they’re not...then, just open them.”

“Got it,” he responds lamely, removing his arm from around you and leaning over the edge of the bed, grabbing his pants. He rifles through the pockets as he searches for his Reds and his Bic, making a noise of satisfaction once he locates the items. Dave cups his hand around the flame as he lights the end of his cigarette once it's between his lips, the stick wagging slightly as he takes a long drag.

He exhales the smoke as he wraps his arm around you once more, his free hand finding itself wedged in the dip of your waist. He lazily drops the lighter somewhere in the sheets next to him.

You’re both quiet, something which isn't rare in your post-coital moments together. Even though you hate his cigarettes, you’re out, and fiending. You reach to silently pluck his Red from his fingers, placing it in your mouth and dragging on it. You mirror his actions and exhale towards the ceiling, suddenly remembering the promise you made to him hours prior. You feel an exponential dread consume you, taking another drag from his cigarette before passing it back to him.

David taps the excess ash into a half empty water bottle on your nightstand as he smokes, turning the water a murky gray. You feel his eyes on you as you continue staring up at the ceiling, anxiously memorizing the squiggles of the plaster above you.

“You’re always so beautiful after sex,” David compliments randomly, clearing his throat slightly, “It’s my favorite. I can never stop staring.”

He’s always the first to speak after sex. He tips your head up, cigarette still between his fingers, so he can kiss you gently and slowly, eyes glued to your lips as he leans in. He pulls away seconds after, pressing a loving kiss to your forehead and taking a drag.

“Thanks,” you say half-heartedly, feeling the need to reach for the nicotine again.

“Jesus, just take it, baby,” he says, reaching for his soft pack he had tossed haphazardly on to your bedside table once he’d removed them from his pants.

He takes another one out of the soft package by shaking it slightly, repeating his routine: 1) Prop between lips. 2) Cup hand around lighter’s flame. 3) Take the longest drag possible.

You can feel the words you want to say dancing along the tip of your tongue, wanting so badly to just say what you’re thinking - mostly to just get it over with. You barely pay attention to his compliments, almost as if your ears stop listening for your own well being.

“Hey,” David says, free hand rubbing gently at your hip, “No pressure, I swear, but…”

Oh, God.

“Did you ever find out how to say whatever's been bugging you? I know I keep asking and I’m sorry for that, but when something is bothering you, it bothers me too.”

“Um,” you swallow and take a final drag of what is now your cigarette before leaning over him, dropping it into the water bottle. “Kind of?”

“Go ahead,” he tells you, nonchalant as he puts his cigarette out too, “Try your best.”

“Okay, well,” you sigh, eyes on the ceiling once more, not wanting to look at him or see his reaction. His eyes are on you, you feel their presence, and you feel your heart come to your throat.

“I love you, David.”

You manage to get it out, simultaneously feeling a weight lifted off of your shoulders and the unknown burden of what his response will be.

“Yeah,” he says matter-of-factly, shrugging his shoulders slightly, “I love you too. As friends.”

“No, Dave,” you respond quietly, timid, “Not...as friends. Um, more...more than that. Like...I’m...you know. I’m in love with you, David.”

You feel him stop breathing, his hand on your waist stopping its gentle strokes.

“Um,” he responds, “Oh.”

He doesn't instantly react the way you thought he would, and you no longer feel his eyes staring you down. You glance over at him to see his body language: teeth biting at his lips, holding his breath, eyes moving as he looks around the room.

It suddenly hits David everything you share together; how he treats you, how you treat him, what the sex is like, how jealous he got of Alex, and he wonders how many I love you’s you lied to him about. He can't say he blames you for it. He realizes all of the times he turned you down in your face, explicitly ensuring he would never want that type of relationship with you.

You’ve confused him, now, and he questions if he’s been in denial this entire time. He thinks he has, but he has no idea how to handle it. His heart hurts, and he doesn't know why.

“...David?” You ask him, more anxious than before.

He clears his throat and rubs at your waist slightly before removing his touch entirely, “I have to go.”

“What? N-no, you don’t, we can talk-”

“No, Y/N,” Dave insists in a harsher tone, moving out of bed and beginning to pull his clothes on, almost in a rush, “I need to think.”

You sigh, holding back tears and nodding slightly, “Okay, but David, if it’s a no, then just say-”

“It’s not a no, though,” he goes quiet, “...I think. I don’t know, baby, - Y/N - I just need to fucking think.”

You’re still trying to withhold your tears, and he can tell, causing him to feel irreparably guilty for not being able to give you a straight answer.

“Are you…” you trail, voice wavering, “Are you mad at me?...Or something?”

It’s his turn to sigh as he tugs on his shoes, not directly looking at you, “No. Of course not, babe - Y/N.”

He corrects himself and stares for a moment at the floor, quietly apologizing for his multiple mistakes before repeating himself for the third time, “I just need time to think.”

David sees you nod out of the corner of his eye before he looks at you, catching a glance as you quickly attempt to wipe away a stray tear, not wanting him to see.

“Y/N, I have to go,” he says, feeling guiltier by the second as he grabs his phone, keys and cigarettes, anxiously searching through the sheets for his lighter.

He locates it, and wishes so badly he could kiss you goodbye and tell you he loves you. He’s not sure what this means for himself, or what it means for his feelings, but the best he can muster in place of a goodbye kiss is: “I’ll see you later, okay? I promise.”

He thinks it’s a pathetic response, too, and pushes the thought to the back of his head. He begins to take steps towards your bedroom door, hand landing on the doorknob before you ask, “When is later?”

“Um,” he says quietly, “Whenever I have an answer for you.”

“Oh,” you reply, his back turned to you, “Okay. Bye, Dave. Be safe.”

He sighs, feeling horrible, “Bye, Y/N.”

David shuts the door as silent as possible behind him, slowly moving down the stairs before he hears you burst into tears. He hates the noise and hates the fact he’s the cause of it, moving quicker down the steps. He half-heartedly bids your parents goodbye and goes out the front door, eyes welling up with tears.

He lets them fall as he unlocks his car and gets in, hastily fastening his seatbelt. He puts the key in the ignition and starts the car, trying his best to not think about the fact he is the reason for your current distress.

He pulls out of your driveway and begins to understand he is angry with himself. David’s angry because he should have realized; he should have realized every pause you took after you told him you loved him, the look on your face you always had when he said he only loved you platonically, the way you looked at him, the way you kissed him, the uneasiness in your voice while you told him - so many signs of your feelings for him he was too much of an idiot to see.

He now recognizes his actions and his words contradict each other; it's not very possible to cum in his best friend and remain platonic. He didn't want to have feelings for you because he thought it would end badly on his side, so he shut out the thought entirely. He didn't realize, until now, at least, he was refraining from breaking his own heart.

It doesn't take away from his guilt of what was essentially false advertising: treating you like a significant other, even saying you almost were one, but not wanting the attached and required commitment. It makes him feel like a pussy.

He’s still crying, haphazardly sniffling and wiping at his tears as he pulls into his driveway. He turns the car off and grabs his things before making the short walk to Nat’s house next door. David walks in without knocking, something of regular nature for them, and makes his way up to her room. The door is closed, and he knocks quietly, putting his weight up against it.

He hears a muffled Come in! and turns the doorknob, walking in and shutting the door.

Natalie immediately sees the shape he's in, quickly standing up from her desk, “Oh, God, Dave. She told you?”

He sniffles and stops, “You knew?”

She instantly becomes offended at his accusatory tone, crossing her arms, “I found out today, David, and she didn't even have to tell me. I could see it on her face. What do you think we talked about earlier? Do not get mad at me for something you guys got yourselves into.”

He sighs, still quietly crying, “I know, I’m sorry. I’m just so confused.”

“I know,” she replies, walking over and wrapping her arms around him. Her embrace makes him cry harder into her hair, before she comfortingly says to him, “It’s okay. It’ll be okay. Just...lay down.”

He does, kicking his shoes off and climbing into her made bed. She lays next to him, shoulder to shoulder, staring at the ceiling.

“What did you say to her?”

“I was such an asshole about it, but I didn't know what else to do. I just told her I had to leave, that I didn't know what my answer is, and that I’d see her later…”

“You left?”

“Well, what was I supposed to do, Nat? I don't have an answer for her. I wasn't going to just sit there with her watching, waiting for me to decide. That’s fucked up. I look like an asshole regardless.”

“You are an asshole, David, but-”

“But Nat, it’s her. I can't dick around with her. Like, I don't think I’m that much of an asshole to you, either, because I don't want to lose either of you. But she’s...I really can't fuck that up. Am I fucking it up?” His voice wavers at the end, hands uneasy and fidgety on his chest.

“No, you’re not,” she promises, “You’re just being honest. We both know she appreciates that more than a half-assed answer.”

“But if you want my honest opinion…,” Nat continues, “It seems like you have feelings for her, too.”

“I do,” David says quickly, “Um...I just-”

“Then, Dave, what the fuck is the problem here? Go back to her and tell her you love her.”

“Because I’m confused, Nat-”

“About what? Dave-”

“I’ve never felt this before!�� he exclaims, tears welling up again, “And I feel like a fucking idiot for not realizing it sooner, and I feel like such an asshole because it took her telling me she has feelings for me for me to realize I have them for her too. I don't even know what I feel for her, but it's not...you know, just friends.”

“I think you do know what you feel for her, and you’re too scared to admit it because you don't want her to break your heart. But, David, you have to realize she doesn't want that, either. You know what she told me today when I asked her about it?”

Dave murmurs a quiet What?, urging Natalie to continue, “That she didn't want to be another Sami. Which, thank you for telling me about-”

“Fuck,” he says, exasperated, cutting her off and ignoring her, “I knew it seemed like that bothered her. Ever since I told her about it, she’s been acting weird.”

“I mean, yeah, you did cut it off with Sami after she told you she had feelings for you. Why would this be any different?”

“Because it’s her, and I know I keep saying that and it doesn't really mean anything but I don't know how else to describe it. I love her so much, I don't want to mess this up. Everything is different when it comes to her.”

“I don't think you will, David. When I talked to her, she was trying to hide it, but...I could tell. I don't think you could do anything to change her mind.”

“...What do I do? Tell me what to do.”

“Go fucking tell her! Plan a date. Take her out. See how it goes. Make her your girlfriend. I don't know! I’m not in this with you guys,” Natalie’s exasperated, getting frustrated with him, “You’re making this so much harder than it has to be.”

David’s eyebrows knit together and fly up in surprise, confusion written all across his face, “What? What do you mean?”

“She literally did all of the work for you. All you have to do is say yes and you can get what you want. She took a chance by telling you - the least you can do is give her the answer as soon as you know it. Which, you know it, so you need to get over there.”

“Fine,” he says, obstinate, “I’ll go. Right now.” He quickly moves out of her bed, slipping his shoes on and grabbing his keys.

“Nat?” He says, hugging and thanking her quickly, “You know nothing.”

“Cross my heart.”

It’s dark now, meaning David has to park down the street and crawl through your window. He does, praising God you left your window open.

You’re sleeping, and he almost feels guilty for interrupting you. Your eyes and cheeks are puffy and tear-stained, bringing him much anger towards himself.

He quietly kicks his shoes off and crawls into bed with you, waking you.

You stir, turning over to face him and eyebrows scrunching together, “Dave?”

“Yeah. Y/N, I’m a fucking idiot.”

“What?” You ask, heart racing as you sit up, turning your lamp on.

“Um,” he pauses, meeting your eyes, “I love you, too.”

In this light, you can see the evidence of him crying, too. He continues, “I know I walked out, and I’m sorry for that, and I totally understand if you don’t want me anymore-”

“Shut up,” you say, hand covering your mouth, “You’re lying.”

“What?”

“There’s no way-”

“That’s why I’m an idiot, baby, I just...I want you, okay?” David moves to grab your hand, placing it over his heart to emphasize its increasing rhythm before continuing, “I want you so bad it hurts. I want you to be mine. I feel so stupid for not realizing it sooner. You’re everything I want. I mean it. Again, though, if you don't want me anymore because I left, I completely-”

“Shut up, Davey baby,” you sniffle, quickly leaning in to kiss him, hand remaining on his chest. It feels different now; almost as if it’s a new beginning.

“What does this mean?” You ask him, forehead leaning against his.

“I think it means…” He trails off, clearing his throat, “Um, d’you wanna be my girlfriend? Like, do you wanna be a thing?”

“I thought you would never ask,” you wholeheartedly admit, murmuring a yes, of course I would! before attaching your lips once more.

“IloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIloveyou,” David says, continuing to kiss down your neck, “Oh my gosh, baby, we’re a thing.”

“I didn't think you had feelings for me,” you say, “I thought I scared you off or something. I’ve never seen you so freaked out.”

“No, of course not,” he promises, moving to gently tug off his shirt, “I’m just stupid and was taken off guard. But…”

He breathes heavily, hands roaming all over your half-naked body, “I love you so fucking much.”

You kiss him once more, asking, “Is this why?”

You confuse him, “What? Like, the sex?”

You nod before he continues, “Fuck no. It definitely helps, but is that why? No. You’re you. That’s why. You’re the girl of my dreams. You’re my best friend. I would let you ruin my life.”

“You don’t mean that,” you swear, eyes welling up with tears, “Holy shit, David.”

“I do, and I know. This is crazy.”

“...Do we tell people?”

“...I think,” he trails, “Just Nat...for now. Other people later, but we can talk about it another time.”

You agree easily, arms wrapping around him again as you burst into tears, “David, tell me you mean it. Say it again.”

You know he does, he wouldn't admit it if he didn't, but you want to hear him say the words again.

“Yes, baby, yes,” he promises, arms wrapping around you and reciprocating your embrace, “I love you. For real. So fucking much. I mean it. I want you to fuck me up forever. I give you permission. Do whatever you want with me. I’m a dumbass. I’m sorry I didn't realize sooner.”

“It’s okay,” you swear, happy tears running down your cheeks, “I love you so much, Davey. This is all I want.”

You feel so relieved to not feel the obligation to repeat a bullshit phrase back to him and to know there is no second part to your I love you.

“Stop it,” he begs, fingers coming up to wipe the tears from your cheeks, hand remaining, “You’re going to make me start crying again.”

“Sorry,” you apologize, “This is just so…”

“Crazy.”

“But is it, though? I mean, think about how we were…” You go quiet, hand coming up to your cheek to cover his, “Even when I didn't have feelings for you, I kind of thought it was going to happen.”

“How long have you known?” David asks, eyes glued affectionately to yours. You’re now lying down and facing each other in bed, legs tangled as you cradle each other.

“Not as long as it feels,” you admit, “Since the night in the car. When you said that shit this morning, I really thought you knew.”

He tuts, moving to push a piece of hair behind your ear, “No, baby. No excuse, but, you know I’m clueless. I don't notice the signs, even when I’m paying attention.”

“So,” he says, “You said Alex had to do with this. What did you mean?”

“I only wanted to try that so I could be sure,” you explain, eyes glued to his, “I know that's kind of shitty, but I was still confused about it. I wanted to see if I felt attracted to him in the same way I’m attracted to you...Obviously, I’m not.”

David still seems confused, stating, “So, you didn't actually want a threesome with Alex?”

“No, baby,” you reply, “Not at all. Why do you think I said I don't even remember fucking him? I was focused on you. It answered my question. You're the only one I want.”

“I love you,” he simply responds, eyes almost pouty, “Oh, gosh, babe. You’re my girlfriend.”

“You’re my boyfriend.” David kisses you, index finger and thumb holding your chin, repeating to you happily, “I’m your boyfriend.”

“Oh shit,” he exclaims, abruptly changing the subject and pulling you closer as his eyebrows fly up, “Baby! I can make love to you, now.”

You giggle slightly, “You haven't been?”

“No,” he tells you, stifling a laugh, “Not at all. It's just different.”

You ask him how, your hands delicately framing his face, unable to stop your staring at him. He's yours, and you're his. He speaks, elaborating, “I mean, I’ve never done it before, but...I know how it should go.”

“How should it go?” You ask, David moving your hand to his mouth, kissing your fingertips before lacing your fingers together.

“I’m not telling,” he replies, “I’m not gonna ruin it.”

“How do you know?”

He flashes his smile, still grasping your hand, palms slightly clammy, “You know...movies.”

“Yeah?” You question, wanting to know more, “Show me.”

Dave pauses, eyes glancing at your lips before making his eye contact, “Like, right now?”

You nod, untangling your hands to pull his face closer, eyes still on his before you lean in to kiss him. His hands slide under the covers to come to your hips, both index fingers hooking into the hem of your underwear, tugging them up slightly. He doesn't remove them, yet, breathing heavily before he pulls away.

“Not tonight,” David swears, changing his mind and sighing softly, “Later.”

“What? Why?” You give him your most subtle puppy dog eyes, kissing him softly once more.

“‘Cause I’m super tired, and have been crying for a while, and I don't wanna half-ass it,” he explains, voice almost in a whisper, “Don’t look at me like that. It almost works.”

You giggle before he kisses you again, slowly, noticing you wince slightly as he grabs at your hips. He pulls away, peeling the covers back and taking a look. There’s deep blue lines on your hips, around your waist, and nearly-whole handprints embedded into your ass and tits.

David runs his fingers over them as lightly as he can, scoffing, “Jesus. I really got you this time, huh?”

You nod, meeting his eyes, before he continues: “You like them?”

“Yeah,” you tell him, feeling his fingertips push in slightly at the bruises on your ass as he waits for your reaction. You wince, hissing quietly, “I like being yours.”

“Good,” he replies immediately, not thinking twice, “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” you repeat back to him, “I wanna mark you up, now, too. Let me?”

“Baby, you already fucked up my back,” David sits up, turning his back towards you as evidence of his marred skin.

He lies back down next to you, arm coming around your waist, “But, by all means, go ahead. I’m not against it.”

Over the next twenty minutes, you do, leaving sporadic, deep purple hickeys across his chest. He speaks, “Fuck, these hurt.”

“Good,” you mimic him from moments earlier, “Dave...it feels so good to not have to say-”

“As friends?” he asks, cutting you off, “I know, right? I feel like I was psyching myself out and lying to myself.”

“Why?”

“'Cause,” he pauses, lingering on his words as he figures out how to phrase it, “I just, like, never thought you'd be into me this way, ‘cause I’m not really your type, so I shut it out completely. I didn't wanna get a crush on you and break my own heart.”

“So, like,” he continues, mood changing quickly as his eyes well up with tears, “Um, please don't break my heart. You don't know how scary this is for me.”

“Baby,” you say, wiping at his tears as he sniffles, “I know. I won't.”

“Yeah, but,” he cries gently, “I’ve never done this before, and I want it so bad. I mean, we’ve been best friends for so long...don't you think we should be, like, endgame? Wouldn't that just make sense?”

You pause, taken off guard he's already thought about it, but nod, “Yes. I want that, too.”

He nods to himself, almost a self-affirmation as he still cries, “Okay. Just...I know myself, and I know…” he trails, seemingly hesitant, “I know you're gonna be all I think about and my everything. And you’re still my best friend, and I don't want to fuck anything up with you at all or-”

“David-”

“Y/N, I’m serious. Once I’m in it, I’m in. Please don't break my heart.”

You wipe his tears and kiss his cheek, embracing him lovingly, “I won't, baby. I don't want to ever do that. My heart is with you, always - you know that, right?”

He nods again, arms squeezing you tightly, repeating to you: “My heart is with you, always. I love you so much.”

#david dobrik imagine #david dobrik fanfiction #david dobrik fanfic #david dobrik #natalie mariduena #david dobrik x y/n #david dobrik x you #david dobrik x reader #vlog squad #vlog squad fanfic #vlog squad imagines #vlog squad x you

74 notes · View notes

minkdenmilo · 4 years

Text

💙 Autism Trait Listing Time 💙

I am self-diagnosed as of now but I'm in the process of trying to get tested and my diagnosed friend said that a lot of what I told her lines up so it's likely I am autistic.

+ Constant Fidgeting: Bouncing of my leg, Tapping of my fingers - If I stop I am physically uncomfortable and tend to shake my ankle/foot or shake my wrist/hand

+ Sensory Oveload at Noise: Usually it's not the loudness of noise for me, but the overlapping of noises. Hearing a television play a show + someone talking + someone somewhere else talking etc. makes me get a headache and I sometimes feel like crying because I can't focus or really hear myself think.

+ Sensitivity to Sudden/Loud Noises: I flinch and startle at loud noises frequently- to the point in which it is noticeable by friends. If the bell goes off when I don't expect it to or the fire alarm I nearly fall out of my chair. If my dad raises his voice or if anyone gets upset and raises there voice I instantly assume they're yelling and tense up- even if they're just raising their voice a little.

+ Tactical/Texture Sensitivity: I detest certain textures and actively avoid them like cotton balls (which feel like how nails on a chalkboard sound), fennel/rosemary, any texture in drinks, nuts in bread, etc. in which my family has noticed and teased me over. Where as other textures I adore and constantly seek out like tree bark or soft fur like textures.

+ Stimming(?): I constantly pick at my skin and when I try to stop I can briefly before I go back to doing it without thinking because it's relaxing. I constantly play with the joysticks on my Nintendo Switch to help compensate and give my hands something to do. I use a fidget spinner sometimes as well to help relax and when I get anxious I use it more often cause the noise it makes and the action of spinning it is helpful. I also do the ASL (sign language) alphabet without thinking to myself just cause it's relaxing and when told to stop I get a bit anxious. I tap my fingers together repetitively a lot and my friends have noted this and have mentioned I tend to do it more when I'm stressed or bored.

+ Hyperfixation: I have the habit of finding something I like and then focusing on it violently. When I was a kid I would watch the same three movies (Newsies, Highschool Musical, and Hairspray) on repeat until I memorized the lines. I went through a phase where everyday I watched Total Drama for like half a year- I still remember the events of each episode. If I watch a video on a video game I have to look up the Wikipedia entry on it, read everything in the fan wiki, and watch video after video deconstructing the game until I'm satisfied. I'll listen to the same song for hours at a time for a week or more and then ramble about it to my friends. My habit of infodumping everything I know about a subject bothers my families and friends. I'll ramble for an hour about an idea I have for a play to a friend before realizing I haven't shut up cause I know most people don't care about minute things like I tend to.

+ Being a Kid: As a kid I was definetely the odd one out. I would hug everyone regardless of who they were, how close we were, or if they were receptive. I just had to hug people- I would get upset if I couldn't hug people. To this day I have stuffed animals I hug because I get anxious without the physical sensation of hugging after too long. I never seemed to be on quite the same wavelength and would stare people down just randomly, even I didn't really understand why I'd do it but I would just lock eyes with someone and not stop until they told me to. People would openly mock me and it would go over my head because I genuinely thought they were my friends and were being nice (I would get called werewolf due to my messy hair and sharp teeth and I would just smile and say I preferred being a vampire). I wore the same velcro shoes everyday until they wore out and demanded my mom buy the exact same pair. I'd cry whenever someone hurt my feelings even once I turned 10 and 11. I accidentally hurt my friends by punching them or pinching them cause I didn't realize how much I was hurting them until I drew blood or they demanded I stop.

+ Routine: I hate being late. I hate being on time. I have to be 10 minutes early to everything. If I have to be somewhere at 9 and its a 30 minute drive then I have to leave the house at 8 or 8:10. If it hits 8:11 and we aren't on the road I lose it. I cry and panic and I shake like a leaf until my dad starts the car. In elementary if we were even a second late I'd sob uncontrollably and panic. Now I still cry and shake but it's not as bad. I am an avid rule follower even when I know I'm being silly. My friends and I went to an abandoned building and I was anxious that we'd be arrested despite knowing people did it all the time and it was fine. I had to stay at school after hours for a project and I wouldnt stop worrying we'd get caught and expelled even though our teacher said we could. When I was like 8 or 9 I read about how not turning off your heater started fires so every day before I left for school I'd check to make sure the heater and oven were turned off three times each. Even if we'd never turned them on in the first place. I haven't been able to focus in online school without the structure of being physically in school no matter how hard I try. When my dad takes the family places last minute I feel unbearably anxious and out of it, even when I am aware I am overreacting. I have noticed executive disfunction issues in the past and when presented with multiple things I need to do I get overwhelmed and panic and do nothing instead. I hate clutter and in the desire to clean one item I end up deep cleaning everything just because I start one chore then think of another in the process and it spirals from there.

+ Misc: I have always been the sensitive emotional child. My mom frequently teases that I never get her sarcasm. I can't decipher how people feel unless I can hear their voice and see their face which makes texting and to a lesser extent voice calling anxious and weird for me. I actively avoid eye contact with people I don't know well and avoid conversation on elevators or in public spaces. I adore watching slime videos and stim boards are wonderful now that I've discovered them. Math isn't my strong suit because the numbers don't make sense to me- I can't decipher even simple algebra equations but I've always been great at reading and I pride myself on my vocabulary and way with words. Despite this I can't give speeches or explain things to save my life even if I know exactly what I mean and want to say I just cannot verbalize it properly so I have to write down exactly what I want to say before I say it. Even then I ramble too long and my dad frequently notes I can never "get to the point and trim out the unnecessary details" but like- I can't tell which details are necessary or not. I can never be presented a broad piece of information and understand it, I need every minute detail first otherwise I cannot understand the bigger concept and thus when I speak I provide every detail to make my point crystal clear. I also feel uncomfortable around authority figures and adults- way more than seems normal- and avoid eye contact and tend to be especially anxious and respectful because adults and authority figures just scare me.

These are all just like the immediate things that jump into mind + context around them. Idk if these could actually point to me being autistic but if anyone has any advice or help then please let me know. I'm kinda worried I'm being a hypochondriac but that might just be because my dad doesn't believe in autism so I'm internalizing that.

I've had close friends say some of my symptoms seem like anxiety or OCD but the texture based stuff and the fact that I have purposefully tried to stop stimming and fidgeting and have tried to repress my natural behaviors due to being seen as like weird and "off" makes me think maybe it might be autism and I just didn't realize because I assumed everyone dealt with similar things and I just was bad at handling it.

#autism #possibly autistic #asd #autism advice?#plz help i am very worried im overreacting and i dont want to talk to my parents unless im like 100% i have it

9 notes · View notes

astrologysvt · 4 years

Note

i think you may be talking about this seventeen fortune video, just search up yonghada seventeen. thoughts on it?

ugh didn’t mean to have the whole post under a tag i hate tumblr

ooo dope thank you! so i mean i def find korean shamanism super interesting both in terms of fortune telling/mediums as well as just culturally. it always gets me thinking because, while i don’t particularly believe in clairvoyance or psychics, i do think there is something about being sensitive to less tangible things, being able to read people well, and generally being open to receiving and feeling out energies. and i certainly think things like shamanism kind of represent that, regardless of someone’s beliefs. i also always think that when you’re doing readings like how they do them where they’re very specific and predictive, you can try and get as specific as possible in any type of reading, but essentially what you’re working off of is far less tangible and more up for interpretation. so seeing this, even as i’m disagreeing with things, i’m thinking that maybe the things they’re noticing are valid in and of themselves even if i don’t agree with the interpretation.

i thought them saying how cheol helps make the group work well made a lot of sense, i thought that was a very specific and accurate dynamic they picked up on.

i also love how they mentioned that jeonghan as a very soft and gentle aura but is incredibly determined and stubborn.

also the concept of him just following opinions felt incredibly relevant, and something i haven’t really gotten into in my readings but we kind of caught a glimpse into in the mbti episode and is generally very relevant for libras. he’s very divisive and assertive with certain things, but ultimately is so sensitive to others that he’s far more yielding and impressionable than i think he gives the impression of.

i thought it was so interesting that they compared joshua to cheol, especially given both of their cap influences. picking up on joshua being more meticulous felt super on point as well.

SAYING JOSHUA SAVES MONEY WELL ugh i laughed that was so on point, even if caps splurge every once in awhile they tend to be very good at stowing away emergency funds. they naturally accrue money sometimes.

i really don’t have many thoughts on their reading of jun, i just thought it was so interesting. especially the fact they say he could go into business and that he’s not really destined to live as a celebrity to the end.

THEM MENTIONING HIS NECK/THROAT THO taurus rules the neck and he has a taurus mars so mentioning throat problems is so fascinating.

makes me wonder where his mars is in the houses now, maybe 6th. or maybe he has his saturn in 2nd house.

i loved their reading on hoshi i get very similar vibes from him

i also loved how they mentioned how intelligent he is and how analytical and strategic he can be, this is something i made note of with his 6th house placements. very smart, not wasteful.

i can also see soonyoung punching someone lmfao thats not predictive i just think if he were in that situation, it’d be very hard to turn himself away from it.

i don’t really know what they were picking up on wonwoo, especially with the predictive. maybe i’d have a better idea of i had his full chart, but i don’t really see a whole lot of what they’re saying.

i thought it was interesting how they mentioned woozi could succeed in any field. i think thats a mix of his sag and virgo coming thru.

i thought it was cool how they talked about how straight forward he is, he certainly has a very frank and severe chart mixed with that playfulness.

again, i don’t really know what they’re picking up predictively with dk since i don’t have his full chart. and even if i were doing a predictive reading, i try and avoid anything that could instill more fear than anything.

tho 100% yes dk genius, i think he’s genuinely such a clever guy and deserves more credit for how he handles people. i really think he takes care of jeonghan just as much as jeonghan takes care of him.

i swear them saying mingyu was a monk is straight up his pisces moon, pisces influences just have that zen vibe

i think it’s generally interesting how they keep on mentioning money for the members with cap/taurus.

lmfao hao the trouble maker of svt.

i don’t really think he’d cause any problems based off his chart, tho i can certainly see what they mean by self-assertion.

he is a very severe and serious person, and he comes across far more severe than he may intend. can end up being a polarizing person if he’s not careful, though i think he’s a very sensitive and gentle person by nature.

ENTREPRENEURIAL HEAD SAY IT AGAIN FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK totally, i think i’ve said entrepreneurial/enterprising for like every reading ive done for him so far and if i haven’t then i SHOULD HAVE.

mentioning health is super interesting for seungkwan.

the moment you mention health i think virgo and 6th house. i wonder whats in his 6th house.

saying seungkwan isn’t so much an entertainer but someone who makes good things happen makes a lot of sense. he’s a very proactive guy and opportunistic, i even talked about that in his chart first impressions i think.

again, mentioning business and money for the caps.

i think their reading of vernon is very interesting. i agree he has a potential of being very stubborn, especially with something thats directly affecting him and his mindset on something.

lmfao yes ambition for dino makes a lot of sense.

tho nothing in astrology says he can’t drive cars in june! at least not to my knowledge!

this was honestly so interesting, i wasn’t expecting to notice so many consistencies with astrology. again, idk about their specific interpretations but i loved seeing what they had to say!

#anonymous #answered #general svt reading

37 notes · View notes

jamaisjoons · 6 years

Text

golden daddy | jjk

Summary: Jungkook’s tired of you seeing him simply as your best friend’s brother, so he decides to show you exactly who he is. Best friend’s brother AU!

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Smut

Word Count: 6.3k

Warnings: masturbation, use of sex toys, exhibition, dirty talk, mutual masturbation, overstimulation, cumplay, daddy and baby girl kink, penetration, dom!Jungkook, sub!reader, rough sex, cunnilingus, slight degradation (use of slut), spanking, anal play, squirting, creampie

A/N: Hey there demons, it’s me, ya girl, fucking around and updating twice in one day cause im w i l d and have no control. Let me know if you enjoy it, let me know if you hate it too idk i need feedback (and friends ᵘʷᵘ). It’s half 3 in the morning cause i’m a mess™ and so this is barely edited rip

“Well, if you didn’t want me to fuck you tonight why the hell were you wearing that damn dress? I can practically see your tits” Joonho spat out and you were instantly reeling. You picked up your half full glass of red wine and threw the contents at him, spilling the moderately expensive wine all over his preciousVersace suit. Honestly, you were sure he spent the entirety of this train wreck of a date either staring at your tits or talking about the money he had and how much he had splashed out on the damned suit for this date. You had triedputting up with all of it, however you drew the line when he quite boldly asked you to head over to his for a quick tumble in the sheets.

“You prick. My clothing choices don’t mean shit. I could literally stand here naked and that still wouldn’t mean I’d want to fuck you. In fact, we could literally be the last two people on earth and I’d set myself on fire before even thinking of letting you touch me, asshole” You hissed before grabbing your purse and stomping out of the restaurant.

The cold wind hit you like a freight train and you immediately began shivering, cursing yourself for not having the foresight to bring a jacket. Whipping out your phone, you quickly ordered an Uber, wanting to be home, out of the dress and sitting on your sofa with your best friend while the two of you watched horror films that were so bad, you couldn’t help but laugh at them.

“Hey! ____, you bitch. Get back here. I hope you’re going to pay for the dry-cleaning bill. This suit is Versace” Joonho yelled in indignation, stressing ‘Versace’ as he stomped out of the restaurant just as your Uber pulled up.

“Oh, fuck you and your damn Versace suit, you god damn troglodyte” You screamed back, your face twisting into a scowl; you quickly got into the car, flipping him off as you did so.

You sighed once you were safely in the Uber, the driver quickly driving off, leaving Joonho behind, even as the pompous male tried to chase after you. You huffed, wondering when your taste in men had dropped so low. This was the fifth date in the last month alone. Somehow, each and every one of them had turned out to be wrong. The first was far too disinterested, refusing to maintain a conversation the entire night. The second had outright ignored you, preferring to text whoever the hell he was texting. The third had literally broken down into tears, crying about how the love of his life had left him and how he was still not over her. The fourth had ‘forgotten’ his wallet at home and pulled a runner, leaving you to pick up the bill. And finally, the latest and the biggest dick of them all was Joonho.

Eventually, you arrived back at your dorm building; groaning as you noticed the ‘out of order’ sign on the elevator. This was a fantastic end to the night. The elevator to your building had fucking broken down. Simply wonderful. You huffed as you dragged yourself up the ten flights of stairs, in your stupid six-inch heels, wincing as said shoes pinched your toes. You almost yelled out in victory when you finally made it to your flat. You quickly pulled out your keys before throwing the door open and dragging your exhausted body into your home.

You noticed that most doors in the dorm were closed, meaning that most of your house mates were all either asleep or out. It had been weird living with so many people under one roof at the start, especially considering there were seven boys and only four girls. But that made complete sense, as most girls tended to stick to single sex accommodation only. You, yourself, didn’t really care who was under the roof as long as you had somewhere to sleep. Besides, your dorms were one of the nicest dorms to live in, slightly more on the pricier range for a student; but still affordable. You quickly kicked of your heels and shoved them into the shoe rack before walking into the large, spacious common room.

“Wow. I didn’t expect you to be home this early” Your best friend, and one of the girls living in the dorms with you, Sooyun said, looking up from her spot between her two boyfriends, Namjoon and Hoseok. Jungkook, Sooyun’s older twin brother, was spread out on the loveseat, scarfing down his snacks, sending sideways glares to Namjoon and Hoseok whenever he felt they got too ‘handsy’ with his precious babysister. You stressed baby because really, she was only two minutes younger than him.

“Hands where I can see them!” Jungkook suddenly yelled, causing all of you to jump. Hoseok immediately pulled his hands away from under the blanket the three were sharing and off of Sooyun’s thigh. You watched as your best friend let out a frustrated groan.

“Jungkook, whyare you still here? Didn’t you say you had some project you had to work on. Also, if my boyfriendsof a whole fucking year, want to touch me, they’re allowed to! Besides, they do much more than just touch-” Sooyun began only for Jungkook to let out a screech.

“Please stop talking! It’s bad enough that you’re dating not one but twoof my best friends, I don’t need to hear your sordid sex life. I’m still going to pretend that hyungs haven’t defiled you and that you’re waiting till marriage” Jungkook said sending both boys glares as Hoseok snickered at the younger boy, Namjoon simply smirked, pressing a kiss to Sooyun’s shoulder.

“It’s not like we were the first to defileher. Although we’ll definitely be the last” You heard Namjoon mutter against her skin. Jungkook immediately stiffened and you had to roll your eyes. Hoseok and Namjoon loved teasing and riling up their younger friend; and it turned out, Sooyun was a sure-fire way to do that. Sooyun quickly cleared her throat, pushing Namjoon away as she turned her attention back to you.

“Anyway. _____, why are you home so early? How bad was this one?” Sooyun asked and you sighed, throwing your purse onto the table before sinking onto the love seat, next to Jungkook.

“He thought that because I wore this dress, I’d put out. Plus, he spent the entire time speaking about himself and how much money he made and how expensive his stupid Versace suit was” You groaned and Sooyun sent you an apologetic look.

“Well that’s what you get for dating random dickheads” Jungkook muttered and you turned to him in shock, as you spluttered, unable to respond to him. That was completely out of the blue for Jungkook. You had known him three years now, the entirety of your university life, and never once had he commented on your choice in men.

“I said what I said. Anyway, I think its time I actually left, that damn film project isn’t going to edit itself. I’ll see you guys tomorrow” Jungkook said standing up, before looking at Hoseok and Namjoon expectantly, expecting them to leave with him. Namjoon and Hoseok refused to budge, instead the later raising a single eyebrow in response. Jungkook huffed, grumbling under his breath before turning to you, giving you a once over. Your breath caught in the middle of your throat, your skin burning under his heated gaze. His eyes were dark, shining in the dimly lit living room, and he had the slightest smirk on his soft pink lips.

“You look good by the way. See ya” Jungkook said with a wink before crossing the common room and entering his own room, the door slamming shut.

You immediately stiffened, unsure of how to react. Without realising you were doing it, you pinched yourself, unable to believe what had just happened. Had Jungkook just… had he just flirted with you? No. There was no way. He was an entire three years younger than you, not to mention your best friend’s brother. You were just imagining things. You were sure of it. Even if you still had trouble breathing and heat was pooling in the pit of your stomach.

There was no way you were hot for Jeon Jungkook.

A couple hours later, you find yourself lying in bed, staring up at the ceiling, unable to fall asleep. You groaned in frustration; you turned to look at the alarm clock on your bedside table, almost screeching when it read 00:34am. You had work in the morning and ideally, you wanted enough sleep. Especially considering you worked as a baby sitter for a 4-year-old and a 6-year-old. The last thing you wanted to do was spend the day sleep deprived while running after a couple of screaming kids.

A part of you knew exactly why you couldn’t sleep. It had been a good four months since you’d had sex and the pent-up sexual frustration was finally getting to you. You bit your lip before your hands began wandering over your stomach and down to your shorts, before dragging both them and your underwear down your legs. You threw them off the bed, uncaring as to where they landed in your bedroom. Your knees began rising as you slowly spread your legs; almost groaning at the feel of the slight chill of the night air against your heat.

Your hand trailed up your leg before brushing against the inside of your thigh. You dragged a single digit up and down your slight, lowly groaning at the slight stimulation. You spread your lips with your pointer and ring finger before rubbing your clit tightly with your middle finger. Your breathing began deepening as you continuously rolled your clit between your fingers, eyes fluttering at the sensation. Soon however, the stimulation wasn’t enough and you needed more. Your fingers trailed through your dewy hot lips, finger circling your slit before plunging in knuckle deep.

You pumped the finger in and out, feeling your slick walls clench around the digit. You let out a quiet moan, another finger joining the first, whining at the slight stretch. You continued pumping into you, your walls fluttering in pleasure as your juices slowly trailed down your fingers until you were so wet, all you could hear was your fingers thrusting into you and your low breathy moans. Soon, the pleasure began dulling and you groaned, thrusting another finger inside, back arching at the burn of the stretch. It was a sweet pleasurable pain and you began thrusting your fingers in even faster, looking for release desperately.

Ten minutes later and no matter how much you fingered yourself or rubbed at your clit, your orgasm still hadn’t approached. You yanked your fingers out of you and glared at the ceiling as your chest heaved. You felt unbelievable empty and the need for release was entirely too strong. You flipped yourself over, blindly feeling around your bedside table before reaching the draw. You quickly opened it and began rummaging around until you felt the cold, slightly ridged vibrating dildo.

You spread your legs once again, rubbing the head of the dildo against your slit as you wettened it. You rolled the tip against your pussy, mewling at the sensation. Once it was slick enough, your turned it on and slowly began inserting the thick head into your tight pussy, breathing deeply at the stretch. Your eyes rolled back at the sensation of the vibrations deep within you as you continued push the toy into you. When you inserted it in as deep as it could go you pulled it out, before pushing it back all the way in once again.

You began pumping the toy into you, hips swirling slightly as you tried to stimulate yourself further. The vibrations against your walls were helping, and despite being filled, you couldn’t help but feel empty. Sweat covered your entire body and you groaned, bucking into the vibrator harder to try and pull your orgasm closer. However, nothing was working. You let out a small frustrated cry and pulled the silicon toy out of you, turning it off and throwing it beside you before staring at the ceiling in irritation.

“Why” You whined into the night air, writhing slightly on your cotton sheets, fingers digging into the mattress as your clit throbbed for relief, your walls clenching and unclenching uncontrollably. You were so wet your thighs were sticky and you could smell it thick in the air, and it only ceased to incense you further. You knew exactly why you weren’t satisfied with your toys. You needed a cock. A realcock and you’d gone far too long without one.

Your heart was racing and your slit began dripping as you imagined fucking yourself on a big, thick cock. Sliding up and down as it split you open. Your throat died up and your hips thrust against the crisp night air, uselessly humping the air. You continued imagining a nameless figure, one that seemed entirely too familiar, even though you couldn’t place him. His face was blurred but his arms were well defined and he had thick, strong thighs with bulging muscles. You imagined him sliding between your spread legs and into the depths of your heat. You threw your head back and pressed two fingers into your swollen clit as you continued imagining the faceless man fuck into you with his big cock.

“Fuck!” You cried, you could feel your orgasm near you but no matter how hard you tried, you simply couldn’t reach your peak. Although, the faceless man was helping slightly. You plunged two fingers into you, letting out a small hiss as your hands moved as fast as they could, fucking into you.

“Hey ____, you okay? Holy shit” Jungkook enters your room without knocking, catching you with your legs spread and your fingers buried as deep as into your cunt as they could be. You still all of a sudden, sitting up straight, your hand still between your thighs as you stare at him in shock. As soon as your eyes adjust to his figure in the doorway you gulp. The faceless man becomes cleared in your mind.

You were fucking masturbating to Jungkook.

Your best friend’s brother Jungkook.

Three year’s younger than you Jungkook.

You were fucked.

“I’m just gonna go” Jungkook says, beginning to turn around and against your better judgement you call out to him, stopping him in his tracks.

“Wait Jungkook!” You call out and he turned back to you, cocking up his eyebrows. You look at him in embarrassment and begin stuttering, unable to form the words that you want to say. Jungkook immediately draws himself to his full height, a small smirk on his face.

“Is there something you need baby girl?” Jungkook asks, his voice deep and raspy and dripping with satoori. You immediately flush under his gaze, your slit gushing slightly at his voice. You had no idea that Jungkook calling you baby girl would have such an impact on you, especially considering you were definitely older than him.

“I… I need” You stammer and Jungkook’s grin widens. He’s almost like a wolf who’s found his prey. He stalks towards your bed, eyes trained on your figure as you breathe heavily under him.

“Do you need me baby? Do you need daddy?” Jungkook asks and you let out a low groan at his words, nodding furiously.

“No baby, I want you to say it. Tell daddy you need him” Jungkook says, crouching down in front of your bed and levelling his gaze onto yours. Briefly his eyes wander over your body, eyes stopping at the hand covering your pussy. Hot lust courses through your veins and your eyes darken slightly, losing all inhibitions.

“Yes daddy, I need you so much. I need you to fill me up and make me yours” You reply.

“Bring that juicy little cunt to me baby” Jungkook purrs, curling one of his fingers in a come-hither motion. You immediately get onto your knees and crawl towards him. Once your nearer to him, you lay back down, your ass on the edge of your bed and pussy almost face to face with Jungkook. You flushed with the heat of embarrassment once again, however Jungkook ignored you, instead choosing to stare unabashedly at your swollen and dripping pussy.

He runs a hand over you, over your chest, squeezing your breast slightly before he continues trailing down to your legs. He grips your bare thigh in his hand, fingertips pressing hard into the soft skin before pushing it out, watching as your cunt lips spread with your thighs. His ministrations draw out low moans from you and he smirks at your wanton noises, the noise going straight to the pit of your belly.

“Daddy please fuck me” You mewl and he chuckles once more, slapping your thigh harshly and drawing a soft whine out of you.

“My baby girl is being so needy today” Jungkook snorts in amusement and you whine slightly. His hands move to spread your pussy lips for his viewing pleasure, groaning slightly when your slit gushes with your arousal. You’re sure you’re staining your bedsheets by now, but you can’t find it in yourself to care.

"Don’t worry baby, I’ll wreck you tonight. I’ll show you exactly why all those guys you dated before were wrong for you. How I’m the only one who can satisfy this pretty little pussy. But first, show me how you played with yourself before I got here" Jungkook commands, his voice husky and you almost go delirious from his completely erotic words. You blush lightly as you spread your legs wider, one hand trailing down your body and towards the juncture between your thighs.

“That’s it baby, don’t be shy for daddy” Jungkook whispers his own hand moving to palm at his bulge under his tight dark jeans, eyes darkening with lust as he watched you play with your clit, your thighs wet with your arousal.

His cock jerked violently at the sight of you, watching with rapt attention when your fingers slicked with your dripping He quickly stood up and began divesting himself off his clothing, slowly teasing you as he did so. Jungkook began by pulling his shirt up and revealing inch by inch of smooth, delectable tanned skin. Hard abs rippled under his skin, making you groan, your fingers moving slightly faster at his little strip tease. Once it was off his torso, his hands trailed down his body and passed the snail trail of thin wiry brown hairs that led to the waistband of his boxers. He slowly unzipped his dark jeans, slowly slipping them down his thick thighs, muscles bulging and twitching.

Finally, he was down to his boxers. You watched in desperation and lust as his hands trailed around his boxers before slowly sliding them down too, leaving him completely naked. You breathed in deeply, mouth dry at the beautiful male specimen standing in front of you. Your eyes were instantly drawn to his cock, eyes widening slightly. It was impossibly long and even thicker, your mouth watering as you imagined him sliding slowly into you, stretching you out in a way you’ve never been stretched before. His cockhead was red and angry, dripping with precum and making his tip sticky. You longed to wrap your mouth around his cock, suck and worship it until he was fucking it into your throat.

“Continue playing baby” Jungkook ordered, wrapping his hand around his dick, pumping it as he watched you. You ran her fingers up and down your slit before spreading your lips and sliding a finger into your dripping sex. You were so drenched that he was sure you could easily slide in three fingers without an issue. However, he wanted to watch you slowly stretch open your cunt, knowing that you’d need the preparation for his cock. Jungkook began fisting himself more, pumping his dick and imagining that it was you instead; meaning you added a second finger into your depth, Jungkook groaning as he watched you stretch your tiny little hole out.

"Play with your clit" Jungkook commanded, his attention completely on you, watching as you used your other hand to prod and pinch your clit, your fingers moving into you quicker. Jungkook’s hand tightened around his girth, moving his thumb to brush against his angry cockhead. You plunged another finger into you with a cry, curling them to press against your g-spot, your other hand furiously rubbing and teasing your clit. You placed your feet on the edge of the bed before your hips flew off the bed, bucking against the air as you lost yourself in your own pleasure-induced haze.

“That’s it baby, fuck yourself and imagine it’s me instead” Jungkook groaned, his hands sticking with his own precum as his eyes were trained on the way your fingers disappeared in and out of you, watching as your hips bucked into the air.

“Daddy! Please” You whined, pleasing with him as you slowly brought yourself closer and closer to the edge, your own eyes watching as he jerked off in front of you, his precum leaking profusely.

"Cum" Jungkook demanded and your eyes snapped shut; your fingers brought your to a quick end, body shuddering as you screamed his name. Your body writhed on the bed uncontrollably, thighs quivering and womb spasming uncontrollably before you pulled your fingers out, when the stimulation got too much. You breathed harshly, chest heaving and pussy trembling as your cum leaked out onto the bed. You slowly opened your eyes, staring deep into Jungkook’s dark brown ones and drawing up all your courage, you brought your hand up to you lips and licked them clean, sucking your own cum off your fingers.

The sight of you sucking your digits threw him off the edge, Jungkook roared your name as he came, angling his cock against your clit and rubbing it furiously. You let out a small whine and tried to shut your legs from the overstimulation; however, Jungkook’s free hand shot out and held your thigh down, keeping you spread open for him. He continued rubbing his cockhead against your dripping pussy, groaning when you coated it in your cum. His cock erupted, cum shooting out and dousing your clit in his milky sperm. You gasped at the sensation, clit throbbing as the heat of him cum covered your sensitive bundle of nerve.

“Jungkook please” You croaked, pleading with him to stop as overstimulation took over. Jungkook fell over, arms bracing himself above you as his head buried into the valley between your breasts, snuggling and placing soft kisses against your sternum.

“Fuck, you’re so hot baby” Jungkook says before picking himself up and grinning down at you. Your eyes widen when you feel him still hard against your inner thigh, wondering how he still has stamina after cumming so hard. Jungkook looked down, moaning at the sight of your pussy covered in his cum. He kneeled onto the bed, between your thighs and gently began rubbing his cum into your pussy, your eyes rolling into the back of your head as his thumb rubbed against your clit.

“Look at your pussy baby girl, it’s so wet and messy” Jungkook says, voice raspy and your pussy flutters. You know Jungkook’s noticed it too from the way he groans, his eyes staring directly at your slit.

“Please fill me up daddy” You plead and Jungkook growls, he grabs the base of his shaft and rubs at your lips, coating his dick in your arousal before he begins pressing into your entrance.

“It’s gonna be a tight fit baby, look at how small you are compared to me” Jungkook says, voice filled with lust as he rubs the head against your entrance. Finally, he begins pushing into you and you let out a slight shriek, mouth gapping at the way he stretches you out. Your walls are stretched to their limit just from how girthy his head is and you reach up, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. He continues guiding himself into you, inch by agonising inch and you let out a small hiss.

“Fuck daddy, you’re so big” your eyes rolling back in a mix of pain and pleasure. Jungkook chuckles slightly as he continues rolling his hips into yours and you let out a small groan of pain when he finally bottoms out, his tip resting against your cervix. You feel so unbelievably full, your wall muscles rippling around him as you try to adjust to his size.

You moan after a couple moments, rolling your hips against his as you silently beg for him. Jungkook pulls out, straightening his back before pulling out until just his tip is nestled into you before plunging back into you in one smooth stroke, going as deep as he possibly can. You let out a small shriek, not caring whether you wake up the entire dorm, his dick is slightly curved, aiding in rubbing against your g-spot every time he enters into you.

“Fuck baby girl, you take cock so well, look at your tight little pussy being wrecked by my cock. Fuck… fuck you’re so wet you’re drenching me baby girl” Jungkook moans, throwing his head back as your walls flutter around him. He moves one of his hands towards your hips, his grip so tight, you know he’ll leave finger shaped bruises on your hips. He continues bucking his hips into yours, increasing his speed and power until he was jackhammering into you as hard as he could. Your breasts bounce in circles on your chest from the power of his thrusts, your legs shaking continuously from the pleasure he wrought onto your body. He runs one of his hands from your hips, down your thighs until it comes to rest at your knees before pushing it up against your chest, spreading you wider for him. He leans down, his chest braced against your bent leg and giving him for leverage to fuck deeper and harder into you before his hand moves to play with your clit.

“Fuck daddy, I’m going to cum” You moan, lip pulled between your teeth as tears fill your eyes as pleasure fills your every sensation.

“Cum for me. Cum for daddy” Jungkook snarls, his movements become rougher, a feat you thought was entirely impossible. You shudder, your walls clamping tightly around him and drenching his cock in more of your cum as you wail out his name. Jungkook groans at the feel of your wet, hot walls; his thumb pressing harder into your clit. You expect him to slow down and allow you to recover slightly, but he doesn’t.

“Jungkook?” You gasp out as he continues rolling his cock into you.

“I’m not done with you yet baby” Jungkook snarls before roughly flipping you onto your front, pushing you onto your knees as your head is pressed into the mattress. He shifts, spreading your ass cheeks before groaning at the mess he’s made of your pussy. You let out a little moan when he surges forward, pressing small kitten licks against your fold.

“God, you taste like such a slut, so sweet” Jungkook groans against your lips, his tongue moving frantically as you coat his mouth in your juices. You flush as the wet sounds of Jungkook eating you out fill the air, his lips flush against your pussy, mouth slurping and sucking obscenely. One of his hands moves to your clit, fingers playing with it roughly.

“Fuck” You stammer out, pushing your hips further into his face against your better judgement. Jungkook kneels behind you, lifting your hips higher as he drags your over-sensitised cunt over his cock, rubbing his length against your dripping slit until his cock is once again pressing into your entrance. You shudder against him, Jungkook leaning over and pressing a soft kiss against your shoulder blade before thrusting his length back into you. The new position allows him to thrust even deeper inside of you, his hips slightly angled so he was buried to the hilt every time he enters you.

Jungkook continuously impales his dick into you, hands gripping your hips and pulling you back into him every time he thrusts. He watches the way your ass jiggles every time his hips impact with the plush of your ass. He draws one hand back and spanks the flesh with a groan before squeezing it and rolling it in the palm of his hand. He repeats the ministration and before long he’s spanking you so hard, his hand repeatedly meeting your ass, that you’re sure he’s going to bruise you.

“Who’s your daddy?” Jungkook asks, each of his thrusts shaking your body, your knees pressing as hard as they can into the mattress to stabilise your body.

“Jungkook!” You reply with a breathless gasp and you can almost feel the smug smirk from behind you.

“That’s right. I’m your daddy and now this pussy belong to me, you understand? You’re mine _____, which means no more dates, no more giving it up to anyone else. You. Are. Mine” Jungkook grits out; punctuating each of his words with a thrust. His fingers entwine into your hair in a fist before pulling your head up, using it as leverage to pump even harder and faster into you. You can hear the squelching of your pussy every time his dick enters you and the sound of sweaty skin slapping against sweaty skin fills your quiet bedroom.

“Gods, your milking my cock so well baby. Do you want me to fill you up even more?” Jungkook rasps into your ear and you find it in yourself to nod, despite how fucked out you are. His hand grips your ass cheek before spreading it, he moves his hand to where you’re joined and coats his fingers in your wetness before he begins pressing a finger into your tight ass.

“Fuck Jungkook” You whimper; you were sure he was going to be the end of you. The sensation is foreign but not uncomfortable and you quickly begin adjusting to the single digit. His fingers time in with his cock, thrusting in and out of your ass and stretching you for him. Suddenly, you feel him pressing a second finger into you and you let out a soft cry at the burn of the stretch, Jungkook shushing and cooing at you. He lightly begins thrusting them in and out letting you slowly adjust to the bigger stretch and before long you’re bucking back into him.

“Does Daddy’s little slut like being stuffed full?” Jungkook taunts and you blubber your response, barely able to form coherent words at this point. Jungkook uses his free hand to spank you again, causing you to shriek in pain.

“I asked you a question slut, I expect an answer” Jungkook growls with another slap against your tender ass.

“Yes! I love being stuffed full daddy” You squeal back, Jungkook patting your ass in praise.

“Good girl. Oh? What is that” Jungkook praises before spotting your vibrator from the corner of his eyes. You dread what’s about to happen, wondering how much more your body can take before you collapse from exhaustion.

“Were you playing with toys before daddy found you?” Jungkook asks and you nod tiredly, you can hear the mischievous tone in Jungkook’s voice.

“Use it. Turn it on and rub your little clit for me baby” Jungkook orders and you stiffen, unsure of whether you’d be able to stand the added pleasure on top of everything else.

“Fuck- Daddy I don’t know” You reply uncertainly and Jungkook plunges the fingers in your ass deeper, following it with a hard thrust.

“You can and you will baby. I want you to use the vibrator to make yourself cum and then daddy will let you rest, okay?” Jungkook says and you wonder how he can sound so soft yet domineering at the same time. You weakly feel around your bed, your hand coming into contact with the vibrator. You sluggishly turn it on before moving your hand between your thighs, pressing the vibrator against your clit.

“Fuckkkk” You whine, your pussy spasming uncontrollably while your clit throbs at the strong vibrations from the silicon toy.

“Move it down so it’s pressing against my cock too baby” Jungkook orders and you obey, moving the vibrating toy until it’s pressing against both your clit and his cock. Jungkook begins bucking wilding into your cunt, his moans turning into whines. His pulls him fingers out of your ass and grips your hips tightly as he thrusts wildly into you.

“I’m gonna fill you up with my cum so good baby. I’m gonna cum so deep into this tight little pussy, you’ll be dripping for days” Jungkook says and you let out a small whine, your thighs shaking as your orgasm draws nearer.

“Damn, your pussy just clamped so tight. Does my little slut like being filled up? Does my baby want her daddy to cum in her and watch it spill out?” Jungkook asks and you whine your answer, nodding furiously. The idea of Jungkook filling you up has you gushing with wetness once again. Jungkook’s hand moves to play with your clit and all of a sudden cum squirts out of you in a violent rush, splashing against Jungkook’s abs and dripping down to where the two of you are joined. You couldn’t scream, couldn’t moan, all you could do was choke and stutter, your body wracked with tremors as you rode out your orgasm.

“Fuck! You just drenched me baby. Fuck. Fuck I’m cumming. I’m gonna fill up your sweet cunt baby and then I’m going to watch it all pour out of that greedy cunt” Jungkook taunts and you can do nothing but lay limply as he continues pounding into you, exhaustion taking over your body.

“Jungkook please, I can’t” You sob, your pussy on fire from the pain and pleasure of Jungkook’s actions. With a strangled roar, Jungkook cums, his cum splashes out of him powerfully and violently, rope after rope of thick, hot cum being emptied inside your cunt, until you can feel it slowly start to seep out from where the two of you are joined. Jungkook falls forward, biting your shoulder as he rides of the aftershock of his orgasm, his cock twitching in your walls. When he’s finally done, Jungkook pulls out and flips you back onto your back before spreading your legs. His hand reaches out and spread your pussy wide, watching in satisfaction as his cum starts to seep out of you.

“Fuck that’s so hot” Jungkook says, his fingers playing with your mess cunt, pushing his cum back into you before rubbing his cum covered fingers against your slit. You shudder at his actions before pushing him away as hard as you can, closing your thighs. Your pussy throbbed and ached in the best way possible and you were so fucked out that you could barely speak, instead panting and gasping for air as you calm down from your high. Jungkook falls down beside you, pulling you close into his body before placing a soft kiss against your temple.

“Jungkook what happens now?” You finally ask, your voice croaky from screaming out his name.

“I meant what I said ____. You’re mine. I’ve wanted you for the longest time and the past few months, watching you date pricks who don’t deserve you, has been hell. I like you. Have since my sister introduced us. But you’ve only ever seen me as Sooyun’s brother and honestly? It fucking sucked” Jungkook reveals and you bite your lips. You no longer think he’s justSooyun’s sister.

“Jungkook… that was the best fuck of my entire life. And if you honestly want to try and make this work, I’m willing to try too” You say softly. Jungkook’s only answer is to pull you closer into him, his nose nuzzling into your hair.

“Wait! Fuck Jungkook! How are we going to explain this to your sister? She’s my best friend!” You yell and before you can respond, you hear laughter from the room next to yours.

“You don’t have to explain anything! Just next time you fuck my brother, do it where I can’thear you” Sooyun calls from the room across from yours, Namjoon and Hoseok laughing loudly. You flush bright red before stammering out an apology as you bury your face in Jungkook’s neck out of embarrassment.

“I forgot how thin these fucking walls are” You groan and Jungkook chuckles, pressing another kiss onto your head.

“I’ll just think of it as payback for all the nights Sooyun kept me up when she was fucking Namjoon and Hoseok” You say all of a sudden and Jungkook chokes, spluttering out words.

“I didn’t fucking need to know that! I’m going to kill Joon-hyung and Hobi-hyung” Jungkook groans and you chuckle, pressing your body closer into his. Jungkook lightly runs his hand up and down your back, drawing lazy circles into your skin and soon exhaustion begins taking over, Jungkook’s soft caresses slowly lulling you into a deep slumber.

A/N: Yo, peep my other works if you want

Masterlist

#btssmutclub #kpopwonderlandtag #kwritersworldnet #bangtanarmynet #bts fic #bts au #bts imagine #jungkook x reader #BTS jungkook #bts jungkook x reader #jungkook smut #dom!jungkook #daddy!jungkook #jungkook fic #jungkook au #jungkook imagine

6K notes · View notes

cagestark · 5 years

Note

I’m thinking international spies AU where tony is CIA and peter is the new recruit nicknamed “the spider” and they bump into each other on a mission that’s proposed from both of their handlers, causing them to work together to lure their target (bonus points if peter’s conducting a honeypot mission and surprises tony with his “skills” then proves his nickname as one of the most deadliest things on the planet) 💗

Omg Idk if this is what you were thinking of. I got carried away. I did things I shouldn’t have. Forgive me!

Read here on AO3.

Peter is an adult, but it isn’t explicitly stated. Daddy Kink. Smut below. Human trafficking. Alcohol. Guns. Racism. Stay safe. 8.3k.

Tony is one mile out from the pick-up destination when the track phone in his pants buzzes. Shifting it free from his pocket, he takes his eyes off the scenery, content that Happy knows where they’re headed, and opens the message.

F: date compromised. someone new will be waiting at the pick up. codename ben.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Tony mutters. He begins mashing buttons, longing for his StarkPhone and the extra wide virtual keyboard. This 2001 bullshit predictive texting can’t keep up with the foul things he wants to say to his handler, F. The F stands for fuck you, Tony! Obviously.

T: Negative ghost rider. I’m aborting.

F: do NOT abort the mission. ben is waiting.

“Christ on a cracker,” sighs Tony.

“Problem, boss?” Happy asks, glancing up at the rearview mirror.

“Just overworked and underappreciated, Hap.”

Happy rolls his eyes. “I know what you mean.”

Tony laughs and makes a note to himself to give the man a raise. In the ten years that he’s been doing these gigs for SHIELD, Happy has been the one constant in a sea of changing marks and methods. “Tonight is the curtain call. If I make it through this, I’m officially retiring. After that, I’d say you’ve definitely earned a raise and some vacation time.”

They arrive at the pick-up point. In his head is the image of a young woman, red haired, with an overly youthful face—he knows that SHIELD wouldn’t give him a minor as his date, that the young appearance is just for bait—but whoever she was, she isn’t the one who will be waiting. Tony doesn’t even have a picture of this guy, not even a description. He’s going to look like a fucking idiot, wandering around looking for his date.

But he needn’t worry. There standing at the curb dressed to the nines in a black tuxedo, hair slicked back, is a young man who could easily pass for 16 years old. In his fancy clothes, he looks very out of place on the grimy New York street—little fool was supposed to be waiting inside.

Happy pulls over at Tony’s request, and Tony steps out of the car. He knows how he must look: dressed to kill (literally), tinted glasses on, polished and sharp like a knife. His reputation does more than precede him. It rolls him out a red carpet judging by the way the kid’s mouth drops open and then mouths his name: Tony Stark.

“Ben?” Tony asks.

The kid closes his mouth. The lips are thin but well shaped, the eyes far too wide and gleaming, jaw defined. It looks like he is a conglomeration of manhood and boyhood, teetering on the cusp between the two worlds, and it makes him sick to know that he was probably chosen for this reason, because his boyish looks will appeal to the people at the party. Tony and the boy are nearly the same height, but Tony must have fifty pounds on him. This is who’s meant to be his help? Don’t they know the kind of job he’s heading to, the kind of danger they’ll be facing? F must hate this kid to be throwing him to the sharks like this.

“I’m Ben,” the boy says. He’s got a cute little cracking voice.

Tony holds open the door like a proper gentleman would when all he really wants to do is shut it in his face and tell Happy to drive on. Ben shuffles in and over to make room. On the back of his neck, his hairs have fought against the hold of the gel and turned into little curls. It might be the cutest thing Tony’s ever seen—fucking goddamnit.

Once they are in the car, Happy pulls away from curb. Now they are heading to q the target destination. No matter how many times he pulls these gigs, he feels as nervous as the first time. Capability has nothing to do with it, because he knows how even the most seasoned agents can slip up. Complacency kills.

“So what the hell are you doing here, kid?” Tony asks, trying to avoid how his nerves make his stomach clench tighter than a clutched fist. “We’re not headed to a birthday party. Did F tell you what you were getting into to, or did he promised you a balloon animal or a funfetti cake to dress up and hang off my arm all night?”

Ben snorts, unbuttoning the top button of his jacket. “Yeah, he’s going to make me a great big pair of clown shoes. I’m sorry—I’m just—I can’t believe it! You’re codename Iron? Tony Stark works as a SHIELD spy? Gosh, I’m such a fan. Actually, I’m feeling a little lightheaded, could we crack a window? Please, Mr. Driver, sir?”

“Happy, crack a window,” Tony says. He can’t help but be charmed. His ego—sizeable as it is—is absolutely the way to his heart. But he sees in the kid’s eyes that he means it, the glossy dazed look of a superfan. “Look, kid, I’m flattered. I just expected a more seasoned partner. Not Doogie Howser in a tux.”

The happy-go-lucky attitude slides off of Ben’s face. “I’m codename Spider.”

Tony laughs. Even Happy snorts up front, trying to cover it with a cough. If Ben is offended, he doesn’t show it, resting an elbow on the windowsill. It is just getting dark, streetlights turning on, and the warm glow against his face makes him look even more youthful.

“You’re spider.”

Ben hums.

“You’re the spy who singlehandedly stole back Duccio di Buoninsegna’s Madonna and Child from those Congressional clowns who had it stolen from the Metropolitan? The hacker who made it through SHIELD’s firewall five years ago to expose interdepartmental assassinations and turned the entire place on its head?”

“Good times,” Ben says, smiling.

Tony snorts. “First rule of the trade, kid? Lie small. Say you’re codename Shield, or even Arrow, that guy’s enough of a fucking dunce for a green boy like you to pass off. Not even a civilian off the street would mistake you for Spider—”

The blade slips out from Ben’s sleeve. When it presses against the exposed skin above Tony’s dress collar, it is warm from where it was pressed against the boy’s skin. The car swerves as Happy panics, reaching over to the console where a handgun is—

“Call him off,” Ben says softly, breath fanning against Tony’s face, smelling of peppermint.

“Calm down, Happy,” Tony says. His throat is dry, but he doesn’t swallow. He doesn’t want to give this kid the satisfaction. “If you swerve anymore, I might get my throat slit on accident.”

“Listen to me,” Ben says, adjusting his grip on the handle of the blade. His other arm is looped through the seatbelt, pulling it so tight against the older man’s chest that he struggles to take full breaths. “I’ve got nothing to prove to you. Spider, Shield, Arrow, I don’t give a fuck who you think I am. Tonight you can call me Ben. Tonight we’re taking down the biggest human trafficking ring in New York, and I’m the only backup you’ve got. Making sense?”

“Perfect sense.”

Ben pulls back and glances down. “Are you—fucking hard right now?”

“Truthfully? Painfully.”

“Jesus Christ,” Happy mutters from the front seat.

Ben laughs even as he licks his lips. “You’re a pervert. I guess you’ll play the part tonight well enough. It is just an act, right? You aren’t really in the business of buying sex from trafficked kids?”

“Don’t even joke,” says Tony, frowning. In his mind are images: kids anywhere from 8-16 being sold into sexual slavery, many of them immigrants in the United States and unable to understand English. Tony can’t imagine the fear, the pain, the degradation. “I couldn’t sleep for days after reading the file on the things that happen where we’re going. I don’t think I’ve ever accepted an assignment so quickly.”

“Aren’t you worried?” Ben asks. The mocking curve of his lips contrasts with the demure kid who climbed into the car. Obviously they lost that kid along the way, somewhere between the curb and where they are now. More than likely, Tony pushed him out the window with his foot-in-mouth disease. Manslaughter—though Tony doesn’t mind. “It will get out one way or another, that Tony Stark was at this party. People will think you really are a pervert.”

“That’s why I’m perfect for the part. Unfortunately, old billionaires do tend to be perverts. I’m sure we’ll encounter some other people there from Forbes’s Wealthiest list. But after we get the information we need tonight, I’m coming clean to the public about my after hours activities for SHIELD and heading straight to retirement. I see an island in my future, with golden sands and clear water and bottomless mimosas.”

Ben looks positively smitten and sold by the picture Tony paints. He rests his head against the headrest even though it musses his gelled hair, watching Tony’s mouth while it moves. Maybe it’s a good thing that codename Pepper was somehow compromised. The chemistry between him and Ben looks to be a two-way street. “That sounds amazing,” the kid says lowly.”

“Room for two on this island, boss?” Happy asks.

The moment shatters. “For you, Happy, always,” says Tony, though his eyes don’t leave Ben’s. “ETA?”

“Five minutes, boss.”

“Should we talk shop, Ben?”

“Let’s.”

Tony pulls out a StarkPhone from the breast pocket of his jacket. He holds it in his palm and waves a hand over it. “If the audience will take a moment to examine this ordinary looking cellphone—not so ordinary looking actually, much more streamlined than Apple and Samsung dreams of these dimensions, okay, right, sorry—you might be correct to guess that it is no ordinary cellphone!

“Your average cell has the maximum storage capacity of twenty-four to one hundred twenty-eight gigabytes. But we know that the data we’re going to be copying from the internal servers at the hotel will be much, much larger than that. Luckily, this phone is capable of holding up to a terabyte. SHIELD has estimated we’ll be pulling in about half that in gigs.

“Luckily, that won’t be much of a problem. F had another agent call ahead and the Ritz-Carlton we’ll be at boasts ethernet cables and hook-ups in each room. A cell to ethernet adapter will have us downloading that speed faster than you can say Bob’s your uncle.”

Ben smiles. “Ben is my uncle.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Ben—it’s my uncle’s name. My real name is Peter.”

Tony smiles. The kid is foolish to give his real name, especially just moments away from a place where Tony identifying him by his codename is key to maintaining their cover, but he gets it. The kid wants intimacy. He feels the connection, and he thinks that he needs to offer the information to forge it stronger. It makes Tony soft, even as it worries him.

He reaches for the boy’s hand and rubs a thumb across the knuckles. His skin is soft and smooth. “Ben,” Tony emphasizes, squeezing the smaller hand. They share a look of understanding, and he can almost see Peter slipping into character, like putting on a different set of clothes until he is BEN, shy, fifteen, probably groomed to be Tony’s sex-toy. The thought nearly makes him sick.

“Location is the biggest issue,” Tony continues. “If I didn’t need an ethernet cord, I’d go into any bathroom, lock the door, and download the files I need. But that would take hours, and we don’t have that kind of time. To work unnoticed, we’ll have to be in a hotel room. There’s only one reason why the two of us would be there. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

Peter turns so red that he looks tanned in the dim lighting. He shifts, pinching the fabric of his dress slacks between his fingers to pull them away from his crotch and okay, okay, Tony’s not going to look because the kid might be in character but Tony isn’t, yet, and checking to see if the kid is hard? That’s—that’s pushing some boundaries. “Mr. Stark, if we’re in a hotel room, won’t they think we’re having sex?”

Tony swallows, throat clicking. “That’s kind of the point, kid. Hopefully it will buy us enough time to download the files we need, rumple our clothes, and skip out of there to safety. Understand?”

“Yessir,” Peter says.

The kid has incredible characterization. Tony will give him that.

“Pulling up, boss,” says Happy. From the outside, it doesn’t look like the Ritz-Carlton is hosting a party. It’s a private affair, one the public will not be privy to. Invitation only. Happy pulls up to the front and comes around to open their doors.

It’s Tony’s turn to slip into a different set of metaphorical clothes: the clothes of a disgusting, sleezy man. A predator. A monster. The persona settles like oil over his skin as he steps out into the warm night. He reaches back for Peter’s hand and the boy is there, eyes wide and trusting, lit up by the lights of the hotel.

“C’mere, baby,” Tony says. “Daddy’s got you.”

The Ritz-Carlton has two rooms for larger parties. One is a ballroom. He has been several times, and he finds that it is most similar to the ballroom of the Ritz-Carlton in Riyadh. It is large enough to hold a thousand people, with a chandelier as the focal point of the room. Every entry point is an arch with the most exquisite molding. As a man who appreciates luxury, even he feels awed in its presence, small when his steps don’t echo on the carpeted floor.

This, however, is not that room. They are ushered to an elevator that leads to the top floor. Someone checks Tony’s ID before he’s allowed entrance, but the man doesn’t even ask for Peter’s. Then they pass through a curtained off doorway and they are in. The room floor to ceiling windows giving a breathtaking view of the city. There must be a hundred people here, ladies and gentlemen decked in their finery. There aren’t any minors here—but Tony knows that’s because they are more than likely in the hotel rooms below. Waiting.

“Go to the bar and get me a drink, baby boy,” Tony says. His hand slips down over the curse of Peter’s ass and the boy blushes, nodding. “I’m going to go and greet the host.”

Peter looks so small crossing the room, always moving out of other people’s way, timid and meek. A deep part of Tony hates it—hates the meekness, hates the seed of fear it plants in his heart for Peter, even capable as he is, to be among these predators—but he pushes that part down and begins to search for Rumlow.

Rumlow owns the hotel. It is the only reason why they are here: the man is disgustingly rich and equally bold. The hotel acts as a front, a headquarters of sorts. He pimps out boys and girls in the rooms, hosts these disgusting parties in the penthouses, and (notably) keeps all the files on his clients and victims on the hotel’s encrypted server.

When Tony finds the man, Rumlow’s eyes double in size. Tony is not just the richest man here, he is the most well-known, the most likely to be recognized out in society. He’s a goddamn public figurehead—just like the Congressman in the corner. No one is disguised, no one even tries—because here is it trusted that they are among their own disgusting kind.

“Tony Stark,” Rumlow says. The men and women around him are silent, sharing anxious, excited glances. Tony Stark is in the trafficking trade! “I have to admit, I didn’t think you’d show. It happens. Someone will reach out for an invitation but be too afraid to take it in the end.”

“Poor bastards,” someone says.

Tony shakes Rumlow’s hand. It’s pure self-control that keeps him from squeezing until the sweaty fingers in his grip break. Stay in character, he urges himself.

“It’s been too long since I’ve indulged—and if there’s one thing everyone knows about me, it’s that I love to indulge.” Everyone laughs. He slips into the headspace with ease, becoming a dark caricature of himself. A warm presence appears by his side and he glances down, almost in shock, to see Peter there. He’s holding a scotch on the rocks. Tony takes it, hoping no one else notices his shaking hand. “Thanks, baby boy.”

“Who’s this, Tony?” Rumlow asks. “Introduce us.”

Peter plays the part, looking down at his shoes. Tony lets his hand slip from where it was firmly against the boy’s back, smoothing it over the curve of his ass.

“This—” he has to stop himself from introducing the boy as Peter. “—is Ben. My little amuse-bouche. He’s accompanying me tonight.”

Rumlow frowns even as another woman offers her hand to Peter, insisting he kiss her knuckles. “You didn’t need to bring your own entertainment, Tony. I keep the hotel well stocked. Can’t I tempt you with some of my wares? I have a lovely selection from Pakistan. Consider it a gift.”

“I prefer white meat.”

There is more laughter all around.

Rumlow claps him on the shoulder. “I understand. I’m sorry I don’t have anything more to your tastes. There’s another shipment coming from Latvia as we speak, maybe we can convince you to come to next season’s event?”

Tony down his scotch in two gulps even as his stomach rolls. He feels like a dragon that is preparing to breathe fire, smoke coming from his nose and ears. The pleasure he will feel watching these men and women turn to ashy bones in the clutches of SHIELD and the US government—he shivers with it. “I think it’s safe to say that I wouldn’t miss it for the world. Can we speak in private for a moment?”

“For you? Of course.”

They find a secluded corner of the room up against the windows and Rumlow points out Central Park, the Upper Bay, Central Park just below them. Like they’re tourists and he’s a guide in jorts on top of a double-decker bus pointing out all the important sights. Peter looks earnest and attentive, eyes huge, breath fogging the glass. Rumlow is charmed by him; Tony can tell. The hand he puts on the back of the boy’s neck could be mistaken for friendly—if it weren’t so fucking possessive.

“We were interested in a room to—play—in,” says Tony.

“A man like you must—work hard, play hard, am I right?”

“Of course.”

Rumlow disappears, talking to the man at the entry way who was checking identifications. When he returns, he has a single key-card pressed between his first two fingers. Tony takes it, wearing a grateful twist of his lips. “Listen. I told them to put some champagne in your room. On the house. No—no, I insist. How else will I make a repeat customer out of you, if I don’t spoil you? Play hard. Feel free to come back up to the party when you’ve finished. I imagine that many of us will filter in and out of the rooms until dawn.

“Oh, and Mr. Stark—please be aware that these rooms are special. Surveyed closely. I hope you understand.”

Bugged, he means. Tony hadn’t expected it, but he’ll make it work. They both will. They haven’t made it this long in this business without being able to roll with some punches.

There is a number on the keycard: 2011. They have to go down more than ten floors to reach the room, and the elevator ride might as well last a lifetime. He feels jittery as the adrenalin fades. The hard part is over, he thinks. The rest of this will be smooth as cake.

Famous last words.

“Daddy,” Peter says. The word nearly bowls Tony overs, distracts him so much that he almost misses the boy’s next words: “There’s no condoms.”

Tony stops from where he is loosening his tie. His eyes flicker to where Peter stands by the nightstand. The look on the boy’s face is covertly furious. Combined with the fact that they know the room has been bugged for audio, the atmosphere is…tense. It takes a moment for him to realize that Peter’s not talking about condoms, he’s trying to let Tony know that something else is missing.

The ethernet cord. Of course this can’t be easy. God forbid his last gig before retirement is a cake walk. He’s going to have to earn this one, blood sweat and tears.

“Well,” he says, choosing every word carefully, using both fists to throttle an imaginary Rumlow (Peter’s grin is worth how silly it feels). “We’re in a hotel. I’m sure I can find some somewhere.”

“Could we do it without them?”

Tony swallows. The double entendre of this conversation is not going above his head—probably because Tony is so short, but those are lamentations for another day—could he download 500 gigs via wireless connection? Yes, but it will take much, much longer. Which means much, much longer spent in the hotel room with his much, much younger associate whom Tony is dangerously attracted to. “We could,” says Tony slowly. “But the speed with which I’d finish might be a concern.”

“You know I don’t mind, daddy,” Peter says, lowly. The look he exudes is overtly sexual, comically so. It doesn’t turn Tony on—really. The boy sits on the bed, tosses himself backwards to lay flat. He looks good spread out on the twelve-hundred thread count sheets. Tony has even softer ones at home. Surely Peter would like those better. Suddenly, he is bouncing up off of the bed and towards the bathroom. “I’ll go freshen up.”

Once the door is shut behind him, Tony pulls out his StarkPhone. Still open on the screen is the program he ran to find bugs in the room. The 3D little model glows in each corner of the room, flashing orange, the sign for microphones. He closes the program and brings up what he plans to use to hack into the hotel’s servers. Being on the premises makes it so much easier than it might have been even if he were just outside the doors. He doesn’t bother to look through the files to see what’s what—he’s going to take all of it. Every last byte.

The phone begins his download, and a timer comes on the screen. Two hours, thirty-six minutes.

And twelve seconds.

Fuck.

Peter comes out of the bathroom with his shoes off, tie undone. He points to the phone. Tony gives him the thumbs up. Fuck yeah, Peter mouths.

On the nightstand beside the bed is a pad of paper and a pen. Peter grabs it, humming. He writes something and holds it out to Tony.

You know we have to make some noises right

Tony frowns, glancing from Peter to the paper.

Peter points upward to the microphones. He lets his eyes roll back and his jaw go slack, hips twitching forward to mimic sex in silence. Tony’s mouth goes dry. Okay, he gets it now. He gets it.

And the kid is fucking right. There’s no way that they can sit in this hotel room silently for two hours after bragging to Rumlow about coming up to play. Tony sure as hell hadn’t meant playing checkers. The program on his phone is hollowing out Rumlow’s servers like a pumpkin at Halloween time, but if it doesn’t have time to complete the download, if their covers get blown…

Begrudgingly, Tony nods.

“Do you want to undress me, daddy, or should I?” Peter asks, crossing away from Tony to sit on the white leather couch. Ben is back, voice shy and sweet.

Tony swallows. What a fucking scumbag he is, pretending like this is a chore, like this isn’t already making him harden in his dress slacks. He licks his lips, but his tongue is just as dry. Figures. “You go ahead, baby boy. I’m feeling—lazy.”

His voice is anything but convincing. Tony considers himself a masterful actor, but in this moment, faced with this young man and the unbidden attraction he has for him, he’s choking. He feels disgusting. He feels like the men and women upstairs. Across the room, Peter looks frustrated, motioning his hands, mouth moving though Tony isn’t the best at reading lips. The kid rolls his eyes and stands.

“Of course, daddy. I’ll do all the work.” The pointed look he gives makes it clear that Peter believes he’s doing all the work in multiple facets—and okay, okay. Tony will have to step up his game. He’s a veteran in the field. Time to show the kid how it’s done.

He rolls his shoulders, moving to sit on the bed. He tries to imagine a lover—older than Peter, much older—and what he would say to them if they were in this situation. His voice is lower when he speaks: “Slow, Ben. Put on a show for me.”

Peter’s eyebrows raise. He stands up and discards the tie around his neck. Then he sheds the jacket to his tuxedo, and the panic begins to rise in Tony again. He glances over at the phone and only ten minutes have passed. Jesus. Is Peter really going to undress? But even as Tony is wondering, he knows it to be true—the sound of clothes rustling is loud in the room. Maybe the microphones are cheap and can’t pick it up, but more than likely, they can. They have to keep this charade up.

But Tony doesn’t have to look.

He turns to sit on the edge of the bed and resolutely faces the wall. He can hear the dress shirt being tossed aside, and the sound of the zipper lowering is excruciating. Tony’s hard. There’s no denying it. He might not be looking, but his imagination is second to none. He imagines the kid must have muscle hidden under his clothes to be a field agent: all tight and lean and pale and soft—

“How do I look, daddy?” asks Peter.

“Perfect, baby boy,” Tony says without hesitation.

“Daddy, I know you said that I’d be doing the work tonight, but, can I ask for something?”

Tony bites back a groan. “You can ask.”

“Kiss me?”

“Of course, baby boy. Come here.”

Peter doesn’t cross the room though. They thankfully are bought a few moments of silence by the gimmick. When he dares to peak out of the corner of his eye, he sees that Peter has undressed, but is thankfully still wearing a pair of black, non-descript boxers. Still, it’s a mistake. Because whatever Tony imagined could not hold a candle to the real thing. Peter is all lithe muscle. He’s fucking cut, with abdominals that Tony never had even when he was the kid’s age and hitting the gym regularly. His skin is luminescent in the room’s lighting, endless glowing pearlescent skin that Tony can almost feel under his lips, unbearably soft and firm.

Peter sits on the couch, phone in his hands. His thumb moves like he’s scrolling the fucking internet. Beside him sits the blade he pulled on Tony in the car, joined by two others, and a holstered gun. Where the hell Peter had been hiding them, only God knew.

What the fuck is Tony worrying about? This obviously means nothing. He lets himself lean back onto the bed. It’s soft and clean, and if he closes his eyes, he can almost forget everything. The room. The microphones. Rumlow.

That’s when Peter takes it up a notch. Across the room, his breath hitches. Then he gives out a groan that goes straight to Tony’s cock. When Tony cracks his eyes open to glance across the room, Peter is looking at him. The kid smiles and winks, then goes back to scrolling on his phone. “God, yes, daddy,” he whimpers—then he holds up his phone like he’s taking a fucking selfie, lips pouting. He brings the phone back down and he nods once in approval of whatever photo he took. Then he glances up at Tony, looking irritated. “Please don’t stop.”

Yeah yeah, Tony fucking gets it. “So fucking needy, baby,” he says. The mocking tone comes easily.

“Don’t tease, daddy,” the kid whines. Tony’s eyes roll back. How the fuck can the kid be so unaffected by this?

“I won’t,” he promises, squeezing his eyes shut. “I’ll give you what you need, baby, just trust daddy.”

Peter keeps up with the noisy, breathy whines and then a sharp gasp—oh, right there daddy, yes. The groans grow in volume, moans and panting. If the kid glances over, there won’t be any way to avoid seeing how hard Tony is. Cracking his eyes open, he looks over to make sure the kid is still enamored with his phone—

Only, he isn’t.

Peter is obviously in character. His phone is still alight but held laxly in one hand that rests against the couch cushion next to him. His head is tipped back, eyes squeezed shut while he moans enough for the both of them. Panting, the white chest is rising and falling, ribs expanding rapidly, abdominals tensing and relaxing rhythmically even as Peter makes his breath hitch as if in ecstasy. The sight hits Tony in the gut, and then lower. It’s the most sexual thing he’s ever seen, and it isn’t even real. Until he catches sight of the erection tenting the boy’s boxers. Then it seems too real. Way too real.

Tony panics. He sits up, head spinning. Elbows on his knees, he presses his palms against his eyes. God, he can’t do this. He doesn’t want to do this, doesn’t want to be a pervert, but how the fuck can he help it?

“Daddy?” Peter breathes. Against his will, Tony responds to the name, glancing up. Peter is sitting up, alert, concerned. He points to Tony, makes an OK symbol with his hands. Tony can’t even reply, can’t even begin to sign how not-okay he is. The kid crosses the room almost silently. He grabs the pad off of the table, writing even as he asks. “Do you want to slow down, daddy?”

Tony’s breath shakes. He stutters. “Yeah baby. Yeah let’s—just—take our time. Okay? We’ve got all night.”

Peter thrusts the pad under his nose. What’s your deal?

Tony bats the notepad away. But the motion of his hand draws Peter’s eyes down—and down—to where Tony is hard in his pants. Peter’s mouth makes an O in surprise, then in understanding. The look he gives the older man is absolutely devilish. He puts a palm on Tony’s shoulder and even through his jacket and dress shirt, it burns right down to the bone.

Pressing so close that his lips brush Tony’s ear, barely audible, he whispers: “Do you want it daddy?”

Tony pushes him away. Peter laughs, silent. He’s still hard, and one hand comes down to wrap his fingers around his clothed erection. Tony groans. Those lips are back, tongue against the shell of his ear even as Peter’s fingers tangle in his hair, hard, holding him so he can’t flinch away. “Come on, Tony, you’ve got to do better than that.”

He pushes Tony flat on the bed and climbs him.

“Jesus,” Tony mutters, already panting. His heart feels liable to burst out of his chest, and he can’t control the helpless thrusting of his hips when Peter drags his erection over Tony’s. The kid is all hard muscle, heavier than you’d think, a solid hot weight pressing Tony into the mattress. Peter straddles Tony’s lap and plants his hands against the older man’s chest, throwing his head back and moaning like he’s having the best sex of his life.

“Please, daddy, can I undress you?”

Tony shakes his head, lips pressed tight, even though he knows that he has to open his mouth, has to respond and keep the charade going for anyone who might be listening. Then there are fingers tangling with his, prying them open from the brutal fist they’ve been curled into. Peter presses their palms together, laces their fingers. Against his will, Tony opens his eyes.

This is okay, Peter mouths. He looks softer, less sex-kitten. His smile is sweet and maybe real. I’m okay with this, he mouths, lips exaggerated to help Tony follow along. He points. Are you?

It’s that soft hand in his that convinces him, the thumb brushing against his own. Peter brings their joined hands up and presses a silent kiss to the back of Tony’s, and it’s so fucking genuine and earnest.

Tony nods. “Undress me, baby boy.”

Peter beams, all joy and teeth. He helps Tony sit up and then attacks his clothes, tie thrown over his shoulder, jacket pushed off of broad shoulders, buttons hastily pulled free. When he reaches the holstered gun that had been hidden under Tony’s clothes, he slows, removing it carefully and setting it aside on the night stand. His eagerness returns when he reaches the erection in Tony’s pants, choosing to shift back so that he can mouth at it through the fabric. Tony squeezes his eyes shut, groaning. God, the kid’s mouth burns. He can almost feel the wet heat through all the layers of silk and cotton, the rough pressure of the younger man’s tongue.

“Come on, kid,” Tony grits out, balls aching. “Undress me already.”

Peter looks up at him, mouth red and wet, eyes huge. His voice is breathy and high when he says, “Yes daddy, whatever you say.”

Tony’s belt gives a satisfying slick sound as it is wrenched from his beltloops. Peter holds the leather between both hands while looking it over from one end to the next. He tests the strength of it, biceps bulging, then snaps it against his own bare arm, letting out soft trembling breath. When he swallows, it is audible. The kid wavers between exuding sexuality and maintaining a charming naivete. Tony isn’t sure which has him wanting to blow his load more.

At last, Peter sets the belt aside and thumbs at the button of Tony’s slacks. He drags a firm thumb down the zipper which runs along Tony’s throbbing erection. Breathing through his nose, Tony struggles to keep his head clear, to not lose himself to this lust. Then Peter is pulling his pants down, dragging the silk boxers down also. The cock that springs free is nothing to be ashamed of: long, thick, and red with arousal, the head damp and sticky with precum.

“God, daddy,” Peter whines. “I want it.”

The boy slides off of the bed, hands resting on the firm, softly-haired thighs to pull Tony to the edge. His mouth is open and waiting, wet and hot and the most inviting thing Tony’s ever wanted to thrust into—but he’ll lose it. He has to reach out to fist Peter’s gelled hair, wrenching it back until his throat is exposed—and the kid still stick his tongue out, making the most pitiful, desperate noises, like if he doesn’t get Tony’s cock in his mouth it might kill him.

If anyone is going to die, it will be Tony, he thinks.

“Not yet, boy,” Tony says. Peter melts, stops straining against his grip, and Tony relaxes his hand to pet at the messed hair. “Youthful exuberance—not that I’m complaining. But some nuance would be nice.”

Peter blinks, eyes dazed. “Nuance. You—you want it slow? How can I—God, daddy, I can’t even think. I want your cock so bad. Please can I taste it, sir? Just the tip?”

Tony groans, cock jumping. He tightens his grip again and can feel the way the boy is relaxed, willing to be pulled and pushed at Tony’s whim. Through his teeth, he says: “Needy boy. Just the tip. Stick out your tongue.”

The picture the boy makes is pornographic: tongue extended, eyes closed in trust and anticipated ecstasy. Using his free hand to grip his cock and hold it steady, he brings Peter closer, smearing the leaking tip across his tongue. Mouth open as it is, there is no way he can muffle the high, helpless sound that comes out of his throat. Peter’s tongue fucking chases Tony’s cock, and Tony’s weak. He’s fucking weak. He brings it back and lets him off the leash a little so that Peter can take it into his mouth and suckle. The younger man’s eyes are still closed like this is the closest he’s come to Elysium, and the knowledge brings Tony right to the edge, balls drawing up. He pulls back again and Peter sounds wrecked.

“Daddy,” he whines, drawing out the word. “Please let me suck your cock, please? I’m a good boy, aren’t I?”

“The best boy, baby,” Tony says, voice low. “But daddy wants to play with you first. Can you be patient and let daddy have his fun?”

Peter’s eyes crack open, whiskey-brown and wet, cloudy with lust and whatever headspace he’s falling into. He hums, smiling, and crawls up onto the bed. Fit as he is, he still looks so tiny. All except for his cock which strains obscenely at the boxers he’s still wearing, the front soaked with precum.

“Lay back,” says Tony.

Peter does. His cock is even more impressive to see in this position, and it twitches under Tony’s gaze. The kid shivers, eyes heavy-lidded, watching Tony to see his next move. Kneeling onto the bed by the boy’s side, Tony hooks his fingers in the waistband and drags the underwear down, careful not to hurt the cock beneath them.

It’s average in most ways, but perfectly suited to Peter’s slim, fit body. The dusky color shows how badly Peter needs stimulation, and even as Tony watches, a pearlescent drop of cum beads up at the head and rolls down the shaft. The kid’s hips twitch upwards, desperate for the touch of a hand that isn’t even there.

“Patience,” Tony says firmly. He strokes at Peter’s hair, smoothing it back into place. The younger man closes his eyes, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, trying to drain the tension from his own body.

Tony trails his fingertips over the smooth forehead and down the perfectly formed nose. He lets a thumb press against the thin lips and Peter is so pliant and perfect, mouth open to suck at it sweetly and then nip with teeth. Tony flicks him for the sting and he moans, enjoying even that soft pain. Next is Peter’s throat, and Tony rests his hand there—just resting, watching how even the presence of it enflames Peter, the fit chest rising and falling more rapidly. Tony squeezes, every so gently, and that red mouth parts, the breath knocked out of the boy as if Tony were strangling him.

The skin under his fingers is smooth and burning when he drags his hand past the hollow of the kid’s throat, thumbing the harsh collarbones. He can feel Peter’s heart hammering under his palm when it reaches his sternum. To fuck with him, Tony brings up his other hand, silently, and takes Peter’s nipple between his thumb and forefinger, applying the slightest pressure.

Peter shrieks, hips jerking upwards. His babbles are nearly incoherent: “Daddy please—Daddy more, again—God please?”

Merciful, Tony pinches softly, then pulls back to drag his thumb over the peak again and again. Each time, Peter lets out a sound like he’s being killed. His cock takes on a darker hue even as Tony watches, soaking itself. It makes his mouth water, and he isn’t known for his self control—ask anyone—so he leans forward to take the neglected nipple into his mouth, laving it with his tongue to a stiff peak.

“Oh god,” Peter says, drawing out the words. “Oh god please, please, please—”

Tony parts his mouth and drags the firm ridge of his top teeth over the nipple—and that’s it. Peter is shrieking—oh god please touch me, I’m sorry I couldn’t stop it, please touch me, daddy—cock spurting violently. Even with the breath knocked out of him (god, he can’t breath at all, all the space in his lungs filled up with lust and Peter), Tony reaches downward to grab the twitching cock and jerks it firmly. He helps Peter through it, the boy convulsing almost violently, mouth open in a scream that never comes.

“I’m sorry daddy,” Peter whimpers. “I should have waited for you.”

Jesus, he’s sorry? “Can you go again, baby boy? Can you get hard again, for daddy?”

“Uh-huh,” Peter says through gasping breaths, nodding frantically.

Tony glances over at the end table where his phone rests—and Jesus, there’s an hour left. An entire hour.

They—haven’t even kissed.

The thought comes out of nowhere, hits him like a truck. Shifting to lay beside Peter, he reaches for the sharp jaw and turns it towards him. Peter looks fucked out, eyes wet and satiated. The smile he gives is beatific, and it’s like he knows what Tony wants, opening his mouth, pliant and so fucking sweet. The kiss is consuming, tongues licking into each other’s mouths, the sounds soft and wet and Jesus, he’s hard. He’s so fucking hard it hurts.

“We can stop,” he says, so softly into Peter’s ear. “We don’t have to go any further.”

Peter pulls back, eyes more alert. A furrow grows between his brows as he frowns. He shakes his head firmly, makes a loose circle his thumb and forefinger and then fucks two fingers into it again and again. Tony rolls his eyes. But he’s smiling.

“I don’t have any lube,” he says out loud.

Ben is back, the bratty Peter melting away into an innocent, sweet voice that asks, “Will my cum do, daddy?”

Tony snorts. “Yes, baby boy. That will do.”

The cum is still warm, but cooling on the boy’s abs. Tony drags two fingers through it and then brings them down between Peter’s legs to the hole that’s there. He draws up his legs instinctually, feet flat on the mattress to give Tony better access. First, he just rubs an insistent finger against the opening, feeling the natural tension and the unbearable tightness whenever Peter shifts and tenses.

“Come on, baby,” Tony murmurs, keeping his finger firm. “Open up for me. Relax for me. Let me in that tight little ass. It belongs to me, we both know it. Let me in.”

Peter’s mouth drops open, eyes squeezing shut. He clenches the sheets in his fists but his muscles do relax, and Tony slips a finger in. The walls inside are like hot silk, and knowing that he’ll be sinking his cock into that heat soon has his balls aching.

“Jesus, kid,” he mutters. “So good for me. More, baby. Give me more, now.”

A second finger, and Peter whimpers with it. Tony gives him time, softly fucking in and out of him, then gently opening his fingers as he withdraws. Unable to help himself, he pauses to let those fingers search, crook upwards until he finds that spot inside the boy. Peter shrieks again, and it turns into a drawn-out moan. His cock is hard again, resting hot and thick against his abs in the pool of cooling cum.

“More daddy, please,” asks Peter.

“All about you, is it?” Tony taunts. He adds a third finger, probably a little sooner than he should. “Should I just take you now? Shove my cock in your little ass, tear you open?”

“Please,” Peter gasps, eyes opening like it’s the best idea he’s ever heard. “Please daddy, split me open.”

Alright. Alright, okay. Tony can’t wait a moment longer. He shifts to be kneeling between the boys legs, then reaches for the younger man’s cock, lifting it off of his abs to wipe his hand through the cum there. Peter shifts his hips up, desperate for the friction, but Tony doesn’t plan for him to get this second orgasm so easily. He’s going to work for this one, Tony thinks, letting go of the cock abruptly so it slaps against the boy’s abs.

Slicking his cock, the pleasure is so keen that it’s almost painful. It borders on overstimulation, and Tony thinks that it’s going to be the most exquisite pain he’s ever known. Folding Peter’s legs up until his thighs are against his chest, he reaches down to guide his cock to that warm heat. Just the pressure on the head has him groaning, hips thrusting minutely against his will. He does want to give the kid time to get used to it—Tony’s big, and he knows it—but the sounds Peter makes, wiggling and shifting to fuck himself on just the tip. It’s too much.

He is not known for his self control.

Tony thrusts in in one fell swoop, as slowly as he can—which isn’t very slow at all. Peter keens, high and loud and long, and Tony himself can’t stop a similar sound, lower, just as pained and pleasured. Peter is hotter, tighter than Tony could have imagined, and knowing that the slickness around him is from the kid’s own cum? Jesus, this isn’t going to last long. When he glances over at the end table, he sees that there are only ten minutes left: the download time has improved. Thank God, Tony thinks. Ten minutes will be optimistic.

“Okay?” Tony asks, a hand on Peter’s sternum. The heart beneath his palm is beating fast like a hummingbird’s. Tears have streamed down Peter’s temples to disappear into his hairline. When the boy’s eyes open, they are red.

“God, yes,” Peter says, laughing wetly. “Don’t stop now. Give it to me.”

Tony snorts, adjusting his grip on Peter’s legs. Then he gives it to him. He starts with long and slow thrusts, aiming deep. Peter is groaning words that become indistinct from how long he drags them out, he loses track of what he’s saying while he’s saying it. Tony wouldn’t be surprised to find that the kid is having an out-of-body experience for the way he’s acting. The sounds he’s making have Tony feeling the same way. The friction against his cock is just what he needs. Glancing down, he catches sight of his cock disappearing into Peter’s hole and his balls draw up tight. Not long—not long at all.

“Touch yourself,” Tony grits out. “I want you to cum with me.”

Peter reaches down around his legs for his cock, but Tony bats it away. “Not there,” Tony says. He thumbs at a nipple. “Here.”

Peter groans, gritting his teeth. But he is obedient, resting both hands on his flat chest so that his thumbs can brush his nipples, so softly and sweetly, teasing himself. His mouth drops open again, cock twitching. “I won’t last, daddy,” Peter says in that soft, sweet voice. “Are you close?”

“Yes,” Tony pants. “So close, baby. Keep going. Just a while more. Hold off for just a while more.”

Peter whines, tilting his hips upward helplessly. “Daddy,” he groans. “I won’t be able to help myself.”

“Restraint,” Tony barks. “Control yourself. Don’t you dare cum before me, baby. Don’t you dare—”

Taunting the boy this way, watching his face turn red as he struggles to restrain himself is bringing Tony right to the edge. He wishes that he could leave Peter this way, desperate to cum and constantly on the edge of disobeying him, but the pain in his balls is cresting. He needs relief. They both do.

“—please, Tony!—” Peter cries.

“Yes—yes—now—”

Peter cums almost instantly, pinching both nipples between thumbs and forefingers, mouth open in a silent scream.

Tony’s orgasm comes from deep in his gut, draws up tight in his stomach and it hurts, it really does, he’s been hard for so long with no relief, and then it all reaches the peak: his cock explodes deep inside the younger man, shouting the boy’s name. It lasts forever, his hips rolling and rolling to prolong the exquisite pleasure. The sounds between them are absolutely guttural, and Tony wonders if the recordings of the microphones above them will be in the files, because he’d give anything to hear this again and again, to listen to it with a clearer head when he can enjoy it more objectively.

On the nightstand, the phone chimes. The download is complete. They did it. The files are automatically transferred to SHIELD’s servers after completion. The satisfaction of that strikes Tony somewhere even deeper. With those, hopefully Rumlow and all the other fucking scumbags upstairs can rot in jail. Forever, if Tony has any say it in.

“Tony,” Peter pants. He’s been trying to get his attention. When he looks down, the boy looks more worried than he should for a person who has just had an incredible orgasm.

“What is it? Are you hurt?” Tony asks.

“No—just—what did you call me?” Peter asks, eyes wide, trying to convey something—

And oh fuck. Tony cried out Peter’s name.

He cried out Peter.

There is a commotion in the hallway, the sound of boots on carpeted floor.

“Fuck,” Tony says, rolling off the bed. Peter is up after him, ignoring his boxers, going straight for the gun on the sofa across the room. He flicks off the safety and chambers a bullet, careful to keep his finger off the trigger even as someone bangs on the door.

“Stark, open up!” They’re shouting. Rumlow’s men. Tony’s blown their cover.

This is going to get messy, Tony thinks, loading his own weapon.

He and Peter flank the door, both completely naked. They meet eyes, breath tight with adrenalin, and when the boy nods, Tony nods back in understanding, smirking. They’ll get through this. They’ll be fine. And afterwards—

The door bursts open.

#starker #human trafficking #guns #alcohol #racism #spies!au

331 notes · View notes