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#but I love this movie ever since I saw it
munsonsfairy · 2 days
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I have an ideaaa
how about a Paige x fem!reader wedding/proposal fic or headcanon??
the idea of her draft fit as a wedding outfit omfg 🤭
🪞🏹🕯️🌿 MY PEACE • PAIGE BUECKERS
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omg i love this idea!!! i did wedding headcanons if that’s okay!! <3
content: fem reader & no physical description of reader or their wedding outfit
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౨ৎ the night before, you and paige spend it by cuddling into each other while sitting on the balcony that overlooks the city.
“my wife, my wife, mine,” she whispers against your neck after every kiss. “not for another day, babe,” you’ve been reminding her since she proposed.
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౨ৎ it takes her 20 minutes to leave your townhouse that night. lots of goodbye kisses have already happened that it took kk & ice to drag her ass out.
“bye my beautiful gorgeous wife!” paige yells out the window as ice drives away. she doesn’t get into the car until you are out of her sight.
౨ৎ instead of reading your vows in front of your wedding guests, the both of you decided to do it before the ceremony. as you walked towards paige, you could see her wavy blonde hair with her front pieces in braids (as always). she was wearing an all white suit. you could tell she was nervous and excited by how much she was fidgeting.
“paige?” when she turned around her blue eyes already had tears in them. she looked at you in awe and almost fell to her knees. “we can’t cry we both have make up on,” you fan both of your both eyes trying to hold it all in.
she laid her head on yours and looked into your eyes. for a moment it felt like it was only the two of you in that garden. “we’re finally doing it. my wife,” you see a tear fall from her eye as she leans in to kiss you.
౨ৎ now the vows!!!!!! 🥹
paige reached into her pocket and took out a folded piece of paper. you could see her shaking, so you squeezed her hand to remind her it’s just you.
she smiled at you and took a deep breath, “ever since i could remember, i was always told, “you’ll know when they’re the one,” and i never understood that. i never felt complete until i saw you. when our eyes met, i knew after 3 seconds that you were the one. i’m blessed with the pleasure to know someone like you.” she looked up at you and saw you tearing up. “bro if you cry, i’ll cry,” she said laughing. “okay okay! no more crying.”
she took another shaky breath, “to be able to love and be loved by you. you are my sunrise and sunset filled with the most beautiful colors. you’re my peace with the world is too loud. your love is my turning page. you are the strongest person i know and i admire to be my best self everyday. i never doubted our love and will always consider myself lucky to love and learn from you. these past four years have been my favorite movie. i promise to love every single detail of you for the rest of my life.”
after you said your vows, paige was walking up to kiss you until you stopped her. “not until we say i do!” she looked at you with shock but kissed your knuckles on both hands. she leaned her forehead on yours once more. “see you at the alter,” then watched as you walked back to the venue’s house.
she didn’t want to take her eyes off of you. just wanted to stand there and admire you.
౨ৎ during the dance, you reserved chick-fil-a as a surprise for paige. she ran to you and grabbed your face to kiss you all over. her and kk were fighting over who was going to be the first to be served. spoiler alert: you got served first since they were too busy bickering. when you were eating your nuggets, paige noticed you had ranch on the corner of your mouth and kissed it off of you.
౨ৎ once your reception was over and almost all of your wedding guests have left, you and paige danced one last dance. your heels were long gone and paige was very tipsy. she held you so close to her chest that you could hear her heartbeat. you felt the breeze against your skin and closed
your eyes. paige was slowly guiding you in a circle while humming the song.
she kisses your head and said, “my wife.”
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tagging: @urantisocialgay because i know you’ve been asking for this (:
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l13 · 1 day
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cw: nsfw! 18+ mdni, f!reader
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Best friend's dad, Clark Kent, who has to subtly give you a once over when Jon introduces you as his best friend from uni. Has to try not to smile as you stare at him dreamily. Who feels strangely satisfied when you manage to say “Pleasure to meet you, sir.” Bf's dad, Clark, who tilts his head to the side just the slightest bit, and offers you his hand as if you weren't eye fucking him just now, “Pleasure's all mine, sweetheart.”
Bf’s dad, Clark, who always greets you with a big smile when you come over.
Bf’s dad Clark, who holds the car door open for you when he drops you off at your house late at night.
Bf’s dad, Clark, who’s so easy to talk to. Who listens carefully whenever you speak, always holding eye-contact. Who despite his size, is an absolute sweetheart. All wide eyes and dimples.
Bf’s dad, Clark, who the waiter mistakes for your boyfriend when taking your order, Jon conveniently timed to have been in the bathroom. Clark’s eyes widen comically, ears and cheekbones turning a lovely shade of red, as he waves his hands lowly, “Oh we’re not-” “So what’ll you have, honey?” your voice cuts him off, eyes still on the menu as you flip through it. When Clark doesn’t answer, you look up at him, raising your eyebrows and biting back a smile. 
You were enjoying this, he realized.
Bf’s dad, Clark, who can’t look at you in the eyes ever since. Who fidgets when you enter the room, making up any excuse to leave just to avoid thinking about you in that way. Because he does think about you. A lot. How couldn’t he? With your glitter covered eyes, lip gloss stained lips, and short skirts? He was a goner. He’d rather kick a wall than have to watch you reapply your lip gloss for the nth time. 
Bf’s dad Clark who has to pause his reading, glasses hanging from the bridge of his nose when you come over all giddy after a nail appointment, nails painted milky white, bows and other trinkets decorating them. Who has to hum and nod when you show them to him, acting as if he isn’t imagining your pretty hands around his cock. “Mm. Very pretty,” 
Bf’s dad, Clark, who has to watch you put cream on your legs while you’re all watching a movie. As if it's very common to do so in front of your best friend's dad. He thinks it shouldn’t be as erotic as it looked. Clark tries hard to keep his eyes glued on the tv and not stare at the way you sensually rub your hands up and down your thighs and calves.
Bf’s dad Clark who stiffens up, when Jon claims that “your legs are so sticky after though,” because how would his son know that?
Bf's dad Clark, who tosses and turns all night, trying to think back to all your past encounters, trying to pierce together how he missed the fact that you and Jon were dating. Because if you were, he was downright fucked.
Bf's dad Clark, who slowly starts getting mad at his son for not making it more obvious. For not kissing you whenever he saw you, not offering to drive you home, not treating you right. Clark who groans lowly and runs a hand down his face when he realizes that he's jealous of his own son.
Bf’s dad Clark who corners Jon the next morning, asking him all sorts of questions. “We’re obviously dating dad, I thought you knew..?”
Bf's dad, Clark who turns rigid, raising his voice at Jon for the first time in his life, still trying to be quiet for your sake, as you’re still sleeping upstairs. Whose fury isn't pointed to the fact that you and his son were dating, but more so to the fact that Jon didn’t pamper you enough. Didn’t give you any extra attention, didn’t spoil you like you deserved. And poor Jon has to hear his dad tell him to “Be a good boyfriend, I taught you better than that.”
Bf’s dad Clark, who gives his son a pointed look  when you finally come down to eat, yawning as you grab some cereal. Who has to watch his son turn and give you a quick peck on the lips, and then continue eating as if nothing happened. Has to watch you blink twice in surprise before shrugging and going back to your own food. 
Bf’s dad Clark who regrets telling his son to be more physical with you because he almost breaks a glass in his hands when he sees his son hugging you from behind one evening.
Bf's dad Clark, who clenches his jaw when you announce that you're going to leave and Jon jumps up to escort you, and walk you home. Clark who so badly wants to insist that he can take you home. That it's too cold out to walk, that a drive would be better. Clark who keeps his mouth shut instead.
Bf’s dad Clark who wants to curse Jon for inviting you over to their summer house. Clark who has to watch you walk around with your tiny bikini, skin still glistening when you get out of the pool. Clark who clenches his jaw tight and looks the other way when you offer to help Jon put some sunscreen on. 
Bf’s dad Clark who finds you in the kitchen that same night, swallowing hard as he watches you take a bite of a strawberry you were holding, claiming you were craving something sweet. 
Bf’s dad Clark who fucks you right against the counter you were leaning against, who has to hold his hand over your mouth as he circles his hips against you, his cock snug inside your tight cunt. Clark who melts when you give him an open-mouthed kiss, begging him to take you to bed. To his bed.
Bf’s dad Clark who can’t find himself worrying about the creaking of his bed when you’re riding him so well. Clark who hisses, and whose eyes roll back when you graze your nails against his pecs. Who has to fight the urge to bend you over and fuck you till you’re crying, has to remind himself that you’d definitely wouldn't be quiet then, when you’re barely keeping it together now. Clark who pulls you skin tight against him, who loves to feel your moans and whimpers against his lips.
Bf’s dad Clark, who wakes up the next day with you in his arms, swears he’d never slept so soundly in his life. Bf’s dad Clark who presses kisses all over your face, who later fucks you in the shower, and despite not wanting to ruin the moment, has to say something,
“Fuck, we can’t do this again. You’re dating my son, for God’s sake-”
“Clark. Jon’s gay.”
oh.
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2024 © l13 | Do not steal, copy, edit, translate or re-post any of my works.
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starlit-typewriter · 3 days
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Genshin SAGAU, Creator of Teyvat, but not Humanity Part 2
I didn't expect such a warm reception, but I'm so glad you guys all liked it!
Your kind words inspired me so much so behold the next part!
Warning for spoilers up to 4.6
Masterlist | Prev Part | Next Part
~~~
It all started with a dream.
Well, a lot of things start with dreams, but this one was an actual, asleep in bed, REM cycle dream.
Well, at least you thought it was. But that's neither here nor now. 
It was, to your unending embarrassment about Genshin Impact. 
Now there’s absolutely nothing wrong with likings something so much that you end up dreaming about it, it’s just slightly humiliating when you as a person is not someone who dreams a lot and your first actual proper dream that you can actually remember past the first twenty minutes after waking up is about a fictional 2D character vowing to love and care for you.
Ever so slightly humiliating.
You'd've preferred it if it was an actual person because at least that way you knew you had a crush on a living human being rather than having a parasocial relationship with a giant block of code and text. 
Actually, can you have parasocial relationships with fictional humans?
Not the point,
This started with a series of extremely weird and slightly embarrassing dreams about Iudex Neuvillette.
Actually this started when you C6’d him.
Honestly, you did not expect to get anywhere near this lucky, especially since your past luck has been average to low in terms of wishing for characters.
But with him, 
Well,
It wasn't quite streamer luck, but you did not have to spend any monetary funds to achieve your goal. 
You did have to skip quite a few Fontanian characters, and grind out all the region’s exploration, but you’d say it was well worth it.
The night after you’d gotten that final constellation, you had the aforementioned weird dream.
You weren’t in the dream per say, as you didn’t seem to occupy any physical space, 
you well.
The best way to describe it would be a movie scene. 
You watched as the man, dragon, stood on a balcony. 
The moon’s rays reflecting off of this silver chalice, you could only assume filled with another one of his fancy waters. 
But it was his gaze that caught your attention.
It’s cheesy to say, but you’ve always been drawn to the man’s gaze. It was always so sharp, so intentional.
He knew what he was looking at and he did so with reason.
But now, at this moment.
It was unfocused, hazy. 
His gaze was not focused on the moon, nor the city lights.
He did not stare at the landscape of Fontaine, nor the glittering waters beneath.
But, he saw you.
You don’t know how you knew, but you did.
You didn’t hear what he was saying, nor could you make out the words his mouth was forming but you knew that it was a call, a call for you.
It was odd but flattering and confusing, but a deeper part of you crooned as his sentiments. A part of you you didn’t realize you had was rising to the surface.
“My child,” it crooned, “my dear Hydro Dragon,”
Neuvillette seemed to startle at that.
You knew you didn’t make any sound, you didn’t even have a body, but somehow he heard it, heard you.
His face flushed, hand grasping at his chest as his murmurs seemed to grow faster.
You didn’t know what was going on anymore, simply that this rising feeling in your chest was growing and growing. 
It was scary.
It was alien.
Feelings that were not your own, moments of clarity and nostalgia flash through you, connecting to nothing but faceless figures and a deep sense of regret and loss.
What is happening,
A part of you that you didn’t know about, that you’ve never felt.
Is this what it feels like to be possessed, you recall thinking faintly before sinking into darkness.
~~~
The Iudex of Fontaine stood above all in the courtroom.
With the destruction of the Oratrice Mechanique D’analyse Cardinale, his word and judgment were the last line holding Fountaine to its standard of justice and order.
On paper, he seemed to have it all as the youths may say.
But his identity as the Hydro Dragon may deter from that.
It is already isolating enough to be the Iudex of the nation of Justice and Hydro, but to be the only dragon, were it not something that he had spent his entire lifespan balancing, he feared he could go mad from that.
There is a sense of irony in that.
Focalors's plot put both he and Furina in the highest positions in all of Fountaine, and in turn made them both the most isolated as well.
Although, at least she was released from her duties after the job was done.
While he was and forever will be grateful for her contribution in saving Fountaine, there is a quiet part of him that he’s tried very hard to bury, that is green with envy. 
He understood Focalor’s reasoning, after all, once their act was done Furina would be able to live a normal human life and he would be able to regain his powers and authority as the Hydro Dragon. 
That was as much as she could do for him, from her limited position.
He was grateful.
But,
His brethren, his kin.
They did not have the same freedoms granted to them.
While he did not have many memories of what happened to the previous sovereigns, nor of his life before the arrival of the Primordial one, he knew that they were most likely sealed away, deprived of their rightful power and authority.
It is his duty as the Hydro Dragon to render judgment upon the Usurpers that massacred his brethren and sealed away his kin. To uphold the standard of justice he has worked so hard to maintain during his rule as Iudex of Fontaine.
He once saw a quote in a popular novel that was making the rounds. “To become God is the loneliest achievement of them all,” whilst he does not recall the contents of the book, the sentiment of the line rings true, especially now that he has regained his authority.
While he and Furina did not spend much time together whilst they were performing their duties, she was a constant presence that he knew was always there. Much like a tree you would pass by everyday on your morning commute, or the singing of birds at dawn. An ever present figure whose loss is sudden and to an effect irreplaceable. 
He finds himself missing her, sometimes.
Not that he dares let Sedene and the others know, else they’ll enact some kind of plot to get him to go out and meet more people. 
But there was a comfort in knowing that she, just like him, was alone in their positions and would serve Fontaine to the very end.
Not that he dares disturb her well earned retirement, nor does he wish to retire himself. 
It was simply,
A shame.
The melusines were the closest equivalent to his dragon kin that he has had over the centuries, and will most likely continue to be for many to come. For as much as their presence filled him with happiness, they do not, and he hopes never will, understand what it truly means to be a dragon.
To be the last survivor of the original people of Teyvat, crushed under the heel of the Usurper king and their shades. 
To have to live amongst their people, knowing that while humans are innocent, their creation was built upon the bloodshed and suffering of his people.
There is a unique sense of cruelty in her actions, he reflected, fitting for the successor of one of the usurpers.
Whilst he has no doubt she meant it as an honor, taking him in, raising him to the highest scene of this land, giving him the highest seat of power and eventually returning to him his authority after watching her death.
There were moments, especially when he first took on the mantle and was trying to prove himself worthy of the title, that we would stare out at the people of Fountaine and wonder why he was doing this.
Humans were the reason for the destruction of his people. The Usurper King, sought out this world and destroyed it and it’s civilization so that a new one could be created in place of it. So that humans could be created in place of it. 
Human are the reason why his people, why the dragons were destroyed, they were the reason behind all the suffering and pain his kin have gone through and yet.
Yet they were still innocent.
They did not participate in the war.
They did not ask to be created.
They did not deserve to be punished for the sins of their creator.
However that does not make it any easier to stomach.
There is a peculiar sense of humiliation, to be worshiped alongside those who have destroyed your brethren. To serve and protect the beloved children of those who caused him and his people great harm.
It is a cruel and angry part of him that he does not dwell on much.
He cannot, lest it overrule all his rational sensibilities.
Humans are not inherently cruel beings. They are curious passionate creatures who love and care for each other deeply, who are compassionate and curious at their very core. 
Whilst during his reign as Iudex, he has seen a great deal of human cruelty and evil, he has also witnessed selfless acts of kindness and compassion. 
It is the duality of human nature that strikes him so. He cannot blame them for acts they are innocent of, but neither can he proclaim them to be free of all responsibility.
Truly the most vexing case he has ever dealt with.
Especially since,
Neuvillete frowned as he rubbed at his chest, feeling where the small spark of divine blessing lay within him. 
As the reborn Hydro dragon he does not have access to all the memories of his previous incarnations. As such his knowledge of the previous Dragon Sovereigns and the Creator of Teyvat remains incomplete.
But what he does know, what he does remember, is warmth.
The same warmth that now resides in his chest and on his very self.
He does not remember having many interactions with the creator of Teyvat, knowing that the greatest of interactions lay between the Fromitable Dragon Father himself, and the creator of this great realm. 
 He had assumed that they had abandoned Teyvat, abandoned the dragons. He’d have preferred that to be in case rather than the harrowing alternative of their defeat and possible imprisonment at the hands of the Usurper king.
But deep in his heart he knew that not to be the case.
“A creator cannot abandon their world”, King Nibelung had proclaimed, their Dragon Father was the one who knew the most about their creator after all, he had no reason to dispute such a fact.
 Worlds are much akin to terrariums, whilst on the surface it may seem completely self dependent and a skilled enough botanist may even be able to create one that can last years without any need for direct intervention, but even terrariums need light.
They require the sun to nourish its plants and create the water cycle, for all it may seem self sufficient it requires the energy of the world outside it’s glass container. 
That is very much the situation of Teyvat.
For as much as Teyvat seems to have taken care of itself, the world is breaking. Ley lines disorders have become more and more common, abyssal energy roams around, attaching itself to unsuspecting creatures. Bodies of dead gods spread harmful miasma around, polluting the earth.
If the creator wanted to destroy Teyvat, it would be as simple as cutting off the power of the Leylines, putting out the sun, or any myriad of actions that would destroy this very world.
They did not, instead they still provided this terrarium with bits of light. Enough for it to survive, but not enough to thrive. 
They still cared enough for Teyvat to sustain it, but not enough to intervene when it so clearly was struggling.
The creator he knew was not like that, they took no pleasure in toying around with others.
The only explanation for this was that they lacked the power to give Teyvat the help it so truly required. 
That realization was horrifying.
Nauvillete could only sit and wallow in his own helplessness as he watched the situation in Teyvat decline over the centuries.
Until,
Well,
Until the Traveler,
The witness from beyond the stars.
They have been given a great many titles in their journey through Teyvat, and have undoubtedly more than earned all of them. 
What he did not realize, is that they also had another title, unbeknownst to all.
A title given by a presence beyond all that they’ve encountered.
A title that they most likely did not even know of themselves.
The Creator's ∎∎∎∎
They carried the essence of the creator within them, it was clear they were beloved, it was clear that they were back.
The creator had come back.
And they were kind.
A part of Neuvillette feared that they would be much like King Nibelung, furious and desperate to do anything to drive out those that did not belong on Teyvat.
Perhaps they were at some point, but it seems that that point is not now.
The Traveler that acted with their blessing was kind,
They cared for those around them, human and non-human alike.
But they were not naive, willing to dispense justice upon those who deserved it.
If this was the person the creator chose to represent their will, perhaps their return will be much more peaceful than their disappearance.
Neuvillette had contented himself with that thought back then, throwing himself into his works as he had to deal with the threat that was the prophecy.
Little did he know that with time, the creator would bless him in much the same way.
The same blessing that sits in his chest at this very moment.
It has been months since he had been blessed as well as the completion of the prophecy. A selfish part of him wished that he would receive more since then.
Through his investigation he has seen many others, being blessed just as he had, gaining strength and power beyond their previous limits. 
But they were not dragons.
They were not the creator’s original creation, their children.
Is it unfair for him to hope that he’d be treated differently. 
Perhaps, the age of dragons had long passed already, and humans have dominated so much of this world that it is hard to deny that they are the driving force behind Teyvat.
But still,
He hoped,
He prayed,
Until,
The skies glowed.
Not the stars, mind you,
The sky
It was akin to the opposite of a solar eclipse, the night turning into day.
A surge of energy filled his body.
Not like when he regained his authority, that one was a wave of pure power cascading upon his person, placing responsibilities and burden on his shoulders alike.
This one was kind, gentle, hopeful, excited.
Is this what it feels like to take drugs, Neuvillette thought faintly.
Synth was incredibly popular on the market for its ability to create unprecedented euphoria in its users. If this is what those people felt then he understood why they were willing to go to such methods to achieve this feeling.
“My child,” the power crooned, wrapping itself around him, embracing him with all the tenderness of a loving parent,
His mouth formed the words he could not bring himself to say,
The power purred with reassurance, erasing pains and aches that he didn’t even know he had, before fading from his body.
His arms reached out in desperation, hoping to capture that feeling again to no avail.
Their presence was gone,
But their blessing remained
It certainly remained and it was stronger than ever, this power surge he feels is akin to receiving his full authority once more. 
Whilst many worries and doubts he had about the future still remained, one thing was made clear.
He was beloved, he was wanted, and the creator would keep him safe.
~~~~
Masterlist | Prev Part | Next Part
~~~
Let me know what you think! I love reading your comments and feel free to send me asks about it as well!
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probadbatch · 2 days
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A few thoughts as we head into this finale...
Star Wars was my first love and it's the love that's never left me. From the moment I saw those twin suns set over Tatooine, I was a goner. There have been times when it's been on the back burner, so to speak, but it's always been there and always will be. It's special to me like nothing else.
The Bad Batch is special to me even beyond that.
I've been here since their first appearance in the Clone Wars and I never could have predicted how much the Bad Batch would come to mean to me. This show has been so much more than I ever imagined. It's been joy, it's been heartbreak, it's been intrigue, and it's been hope. These boys and everyone I've met in this corner of fandom have woven their way into my heart in a way I couldn't undo even if I wanted.
I have no intention of packing it up and moving on as soon as the finale is finished. I'm not ready yet. But I imagine there will eventually come a day when even the Bad Batch moves to that back burner in my brain and one day this blog may not appear very active. I promise you I will still be lurking somewhere on tumblr and the Bad Batch is still very much on my mind somewhere.
If you find this post in a year or five or ten, please know that I am always ready to dive right back into peak fangirl mode with you. I will never think it's weird if you reach out and want to talk Star Wars or Bad Batch. Whether you are an old fan like me or just discovering this show for the first time years from now, I already consider us best friends and I will be thrilled to join you in whatever stage of fandom you find yourself in.
I've been a Star Wars fan since I was ten years old. Back then, there were only six movies and I was too young to appreciate that as far as anyone really knew, Star Wars had just closed its final chapter. If there's anything I've learned since then, it's that the story lives on in all of us - and who knows? Maybe one day it will return to the screen too.
Just because this show is wrapping up doesn't mean our love for it will end. Things will begin to look different after tomorrow and that is a little sad to think about but it can still be something we love just as much. Bittersweet as it is, I am looking forward to stepping into that new phase with all of you.
I don't know what's going to happen in the finale. What I do know is that the last few years have been a wonderful gift and I am more grateful than I can ever say. I will cherish this show and the memories it's given me for the rest of my life.
So as this chapter closes and we prepare to move on to the next one, I just want to thank you all for being such an incredible part of this experience for me.
I love you all.
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javipispunk · 2 days
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Bush of Rhododendron Flowers
Jackson! Joel Miller x f!reader
Summary: In the language of flowers, the rhododendron symbolizes danger and to beware. Fitting plants for the meanest man in Jackson to have in his front yard. You wish you had listened to their warning, too late for that now.
Word count: 1.2k
Rating: Explicit. MDNI
Warnings: Joel and Ellie never go to Salt Lake, Illusions to smut, angst, Joel is mean and a liar and a little rough, manipulation by Joel and reader, self-loathing, self-sabotage, unrequited want, unhealthy attachment, one use of the word ‘darlin’, NO HAPPY ENDING
A/N: The second I saw @morallyinept May challenge I knew I had to write about Joel and Rhododendrons. The Language of Flowers by Vanessa Diffenbaugh has lived in my mind rent free since I read it for the first time over a decade ago, so heavy inspo from that. Also the song Rhododendron by Bella White played a large role in the making of this fic. Highly recommend both! Divider by the ever lovely @saradika-graphics
masterlist
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You sit on your front porch and stare holes into the pink flowers in Joel Miller’s yard that mock you. Spring has arrived and made itself a home in Jackson. Flowers are blooming and cover the landscape like flecks of paint on a canvas. The sun is bright and birdsong echoes in the crisp air, a soundtrack to the movie that plays over in your mind.
Beware, beware, beware, the rhododendron chants at you.
You think back to the first time you met Joel. It was mid-Winter and the earth was covered in a thick blanket of snow. You’d been walking down the street when you heard a bellowing yell. Everyone that was around turned their heads towards the man that had yelled Tommy Miller's name. You’d never seen him before and Lord was he a sight for sore eyes. His graying hair was a mess on the top of his head and his denim clad legs looked sturdy underneath him. If he wasn’t in the middle of a reunion with his brother you would have gone up to talk to him right then and there.
Your opportunity to talk to him came a few days later when you both walked out of your houses at the same time, he had recently moved in across from you. You’d heard rumors that he was gruff and brash, but that didn’t deter you, in fact it only made you want him more. Something about the chase and all that. He didn’t acknowledge you on this particular morning, not even a glance in your direction, so you mirrored his actions.
It happened a few more times, both of you turning onto the street at the same time before he finally accepted that he would be seeing you often. One day he cleared his throat loudly, causing you to turn your head towards him. He gave you a curt nod, you replied by looking him up and down and nodding back at him. A truce of some sort, still neither of you had spoken a word to each other.
/ / /
It continued on like that for a while until you went a few days without seeing him. You’d become weirdly attached to your ritual and his absence worried you, you would later come to find out he’d been injured pretty bad on patrol and was instructed to take it easy. The first time you saw him again after that you decided to finally talk to him.
When he gave his signature nod you spoke up. “Was beginning to wonder if you died or somethin’.”
He froze, obviously caught off guard by your disruption of the routine he had become comfortable with. Then he ran his fingers over his chin and really looked at you.
“Got pretty damn close.” He mumbled and started walking away. Usually he was a few paces ahead of you but with whatever injury he’d sustained he was walking slower than normal. This meant that you were now walking side by side, much to your amusement and his dismay.
“Care to enlighten me?”
“No.” was all he said, unsurprisingly. You chuckled and that was the end of that.
/ / /
It all came to head when you were sitting at the Tipsy Bison. It had been one of those days and you just needed some relief. Like every other time he saw you outside of your shared morning walk he pretended like you didn’t exist. You’d had enough of it and at this point it didn’t matter if you wanted to kiss him or not, he was just being plain annoying. So you walked up behind him and whispered in his ear.
“It’s not very neighborly for you to not say hi to me Joel Miller. I thought we had a nice little thing goin’ on with our walks there.” You didn’t wait for him to reply and swiftly walked away out the door into the cool night. Barely three steps out the door you felt a firm grip on your arm pulling you around the side of the building. Hook, line and sinker.
Joel grabbed your face in his large hand and made you look at him, square in the eye.
“Neighborly huh? I ‘ont think thats what your wantin’ outta me darlin’”
You winked at him and his lips were on yours in an instant. He was rough with you, biting and pulling your lips with his teeth, like a wolf devouring a deer. And just like a deer you were caught in the headlights, not sure which direction you should go. You let him take the lead, willingly pliant under his touch. It was too cold outside to take any items of clothing off so you stopped there and he walked you back to your house.
When you got back you could tell he wasn’t sure if you wanted him to follow you inside. You bit your lip and looked at him seductively, eyes hazy with lust.
“Well? You just gonna leave me out to dry like that?” you said. He hurriedly followed you inside and your clothes had been shed before the door was even fully closed.
/ / /
That was the beginning of the end really. Once you’d had a taste of Joel you needed more, you were insatiable. The more you sought him out the more withdrawn he became. It was on and off for nearly three months, secret rendezvous between weeks of avoidance. When he was with you he was so sweet, he took the time to clean you up and would whisper sweet nothings in your ear. But in the in between times you were insignificant to him. He even started leaving his house an hour early, just so he wouldn’t have to see you.
/ / /
You’d asked him about it on one of those rare occasions you found him in your bed.
“I’m sorry darlin’, just busy.”
You knew he wasn’t sorry and you knew he wasn’t more busy than he usually was. And he knew that you knew but that was the end of the questioning.
As Spring came, feelings changed. You were more irritable than ever with his back and forth. You couldn’t tell what was truth and what was a lie. One moment he was saying he wanted to settle down with you, the next he was saying he had rotten luck with that kind of stuff so he didn’t even wanna bother trying. There were lots of empty sorry’s passed between you two those last few weeks. You wanted it to end, but you never wanted him to leave.
/ / /
Right now as you sit on your porch, coffee long forgotten on the stoop next to you, you know it’s over for good. Just a little while ago you watched him walk out of his house with a pretty blonde woman. He gave her a kiss and a pat on the behind. Her giggle was like a blood curdling scream to your ears.
Your heart is sitting in a million little unfixable pieces at the bottom of your abdomen, the wreckage of a ship left to rot on the sea floor. You brought it upon yourself, you know that, holding onto someone that never really wanted to be there in the first place. How horrible to grieve someone who is still alive.
Beware, beware, beware, the bush of rhododendron flowers continues to stare back at you.
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loveyouanyway · 3 days
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i'll kiss your scars
buck x eddie | 900 words | teen rating
prompt: trans buck for @steadfastsaturnsrings 🥰 💖
“But y-you like men.” “Yes I do. Particularly the amazing and gorgeous man in front of me.” Buck stumbles across his words, all flustered. “But Eddie, I’m not— like I don’t have a you know.” He glances down there. “That doesn’t make you any less of a man, Buck." or Buck tells Eddie that he's trans and things change between them, but for the better.
read on ao3 or below :)
Buck, Eddie and Christopher are enjoying their dinner together in comfortable silence.
Christopher finishes his plate of spaghetti and meatballs first and now that he’s not eating, the silence feels weird so he speaks up.
“I’m not the only Christopher in my class anymore.”
Eddie hums. “Oh new student?”
“Nope. His name used to be Chloe but now it’s Christopher.”
Eddie and Buck look to each other in understanding.
“So he’s…”
“Trans. Yeah, it’s not a big deal, Dad. Now people just call me Chris and him Christopher.”
“How did people react?” Buck asks curiously.
“Everyone was cool about it. Some people had questions though so Christopher answered them. Then Mr. Nolan told everyone that he will not tolerate any transphobia or homophobia but he’s happy to tell us more about it. And if we ever have to talk to him about it, we can.”
Buck blinks back tears thinking how happy he is that in school, kids can come out and people will be supportive or at least respectful enough that they won’t say anything negative. He thinks about how bad it would be if he came out in middle school. He’s so glad Christopher has a teacher like Mr. Nolan.
He should probably tell Eddie that he’s trans. It’s been over a year since they’ve been friends. He knows Eddie will be accepting and everything but it’s still difficult. He doesn’t want anything to change between them.
“Buck?” Eddie and nudges his foot with his own under the table.
“You okay?” he asks.
Buck quickly nods. “Yeah no I’m good.”
Eddie thankfully doesn’t push and instead asks what movie they should watch tonight.
They watch Spiderman: Into the Spider-Verse and Buck suggests they watch the second one next movie night which Christopher enthusiastically agrees to.
Christopher gets ready for bed reluctantly and Buck reads him a chapter of Percy Jackson. Eddie watches them with a sickening fond smile.
Once the chapter’s done, he and Eddie both hug Christopher and tell him “good night” and Buck yearns for him to have this every night.
They walk into the living room and Buck plops onto the couch with a sigh.
Eddie sits down next to Buck and faces him.
“Hey, you know that you can tell me anything, right?” he says earnestly with his stupidly pretty eyes looking him in the eye.
Buck breaks eye contact and nods. “Yeah of course, uh thanks.”
Eddie doesn’t reply as if he’s hoping Buck will say more.
“Just give me a moment.” he adds and to that Eddie hums and rests his hand on Buck’s thigh. Oh god. This isn’t helping his nerves.
Buck takes a deep breath. “I’m trans.”
A second passes.
“Thanks for telling me.” Eddie smiles, trying to act like he didn’t know this but Buck sees past it.
“You already knew. How?”
“I saw your testosterone gel thing in the bathroom once. I guess you forgot to put it away like you usually do,” Eddie answers softly.
“You’re not mad I didn’t tell you?”
“Of course not, Buck. You don’t owe me anything regarding that.”
“We’ve been best friends for months.”
“Yeah well did I come out to you as cis? No. Besides gender is fucking stupid. Am I even a man?”
Buck sighs. He supposes Eddie has a valid point.
“Uh, while we’re talking about more serious topics, I have something to tell you,” Eddie admits.
Buck doesn’t have enough time to panic before Eddie calmly says “I’m in love with you.”
Is this a fucking dream? Buck doesn’t know what to say. “I- What do you mean?”
Eddie continues, “Yeah that was one of the factors in the whole me discovering my sexuality process. Hen called me out so many times about my gay panic for you.”
“But y-you like men.”
“Yes I do. Particularly the amazing and gorgeous man in front of me.”
Buck stumbles across his words, all flustered. “But Eddie, I’m not— like I don’t have a you know.” He glances down there.
“That doesn’t make you any less of a man, Buck. I know how I feel about you. I love you beyond your body but I mean, I really love your body and I hope I can make you feel safe and comfortable with it.”
Yeah this is a fucking dream come true.
Eddie lifts up the bottom of his shirt. “Can I…”
Buck has no idea what he’s about to do but he’ll let Eddie do anything to him. That probably should be concerning but he doesn’t care.
“Yeah,” he says with a shaky breath.
Eddie gently takes Buck’s shirt (which actually belonged to Eddie originally) and looks at him with such adoration, it makes Buck want to cry.
He lowers his head and brings his lips to Buck’s top surgery scars. He softly kisses along the two lines, whispering “I love you” after each kiss.
Now Buck is crying. He is just so overwhelmed with love—both his love for Eddie and feeling so loved by Eddie. He manages to say, “I love you” back before the tears make unable to speak coherently
Of course Eddie understands and doesn’t tell him “No it’s okay don’t cry,” instead he embraces him into a hug that makes Buck feel all warm and fuzzy — like all hugs from Eddie do.
They stay there, holding each other and Buck realizes things have changed between them but in the best way possible.
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thestoryofella · 1 day
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hii i love ur writing for steve and was wondering if u could write something about him changing bedsheets for an autistic reader ? maybe they're trying to cuddle and watch a movie or something but the reader can't focus/stop squirming ? certain textures/fabrics are very much sensory hell for me and i've had this problem a couple times and didn't want to be rude so i barely got any sleep lol
no pressure to write it ofc !! ty for reading :]
thank you for requesting; you’re my first request ever and I couldn’t wait to write this! I’m not on the spectrum but I do have adhd and am very familiar with sensory issues, so I tried to focus on those since I know them well. I hope that’s okay lovely!
warnings: fluff
steve harrington x reader ✿ 1393 words
You and Steve had been dating for three months and had the quintessential, imperative, and possibly relationship-changing date planned tonight: the sleepover. To put it plainly, you were terrified. You liked Steve, a lot. He was kind, thoughtful, and so handsome it made you wonder how you were dating him in the first place.
When you got to his house, you had packed the essentials: pajamas, a blanket, personal care items, and popcorn for your movie, of course. Despite being well-prepared, you couldn’t shake the nervousness from the first sleepover with a new significant other, or the butterflies in your stomach that you could only blame on your infatuation with your honey-eyed boyfriend.
Steve’s parents were out of town for the weekend, which thankfully allowed you to avoid the whole meet-the-parents situation, along with sharing the house. You packed your trunk and drove over to Steve’s house with some anxiety bubbling in your throat. When you pulled into his driveway, you prayed things went smoothly.
When you reached his front door, you only had to knock your fist on the door once before Steve opened it quickly. It appeared that he had been waiting for you, and he opened the door with a smile gracing his lips. He stood with one hand on his hip, and the other posed in a wave when he saw your face.
“Hi, honey,” he spoke, one hand reaching out to grab your backpack, and the other to grab yours. Your cheeks warmed at the thoughtfulness of his actions, not used to having someone so readily help you with heavy bags, or grab onto your hand so quickly.
“Hi, Stevie, how are you?” You asked genuinely, leaning up to peck him on the cheek. He smiled in return, leading you inside by your hand.
“I’m doing good; I’m just excited to spend some time with you,” He answered, tugging your hand after placing a gentle, delicate kiss on the back of it, and leading you to his bedroom. He hadn’t dropped your fingers since you walked in the door, his thumb now gently rubbing over your knuckles.
Steve quickly led you into his cozy bedroom. You had both agreed that watching a movie there would be more comfortable so you could fall asleep directly afterward. Upon entering, it was clear you didn’t need to bring any blankets, as Steve’s bed was piled with everything you could need for sleep.
He was already dressed in comfortable clothes wearing blue plaid pajama pants and a white wife beater that accentuated his strong biceps and revealed a peek of his brown, sparse chest hair and skin dotted with moles. He added your blanket to the mountain-high pile on the bed and plopped your backpack down on his floor. “Do you wanna go get changed?” He asked after taking in the sight of your day clothes, which probably weren’t very comfortable to watch a movie in.
You huffed, a bit disappointed by your lack of planning, wanting to immediately crawl into his arms and get comfortable. “I guess I should; give me a few minutes,” you said, a displeased sigh added to your words. Steve laughed in response to your obvious disdain and after digging through your backpack, threw your pajamas into your hands while putting the bag of popcorn you bought on the bed.
Walking into the bathroom, you got changed into your pajamas hurriedly, excited to watch a movie and cuddle with Steve. You had brought the most comfortable clothes you owned–though maybe not the cutest–a T-shirt that went down to your middle thigh and shorts that wouldn’t shift during the night. You hated when you woke up with your shorts in disarray, not arranged on your torso or hips correctly anymore.
After changing, you ran into Steve’s room, plopped down next to him, and got situated for the movie. You both sat next to each other on his bed, in relaxed positions. His arm was slung around your shoulder, lightly rubbing your scalp, and your head plopped onto his shoulder, breathing in his scent of vanilla, citrus, and woodsy musk. One of your legs was tucked under his, allowing his warmth to keep your frequently cold toes–wearing socks in bed was a cardinal sin–comfortably warm.
You guys decided to turn on The Princess Bride after deciding a horror or thriller movie was too intense, and after approximately one hour, you both had carefully shifted down the bed into a sleeping position. One of Steve’s hands was now thrown over your waist, the other under your midsection, and one of his legs was tucked in between yours as you tucked yourself into his chest, keeping you both warm.
Sleep had evidently taken over Steve; his breath hit your shoulder in warm, slow, even cycles. You could even feel his chest moving up and down behind you, and his hand on your waist had gradually gone from a grip to an effortless touch. The issue? You could not get comfortable. His sheets were so soft and grippy that they resembled a microfiber towel, seemingly sticking to every hair follicle on your leg, more similar to Velcro than bedding.
You tried to carefully shift to get more comfortable, tired, frustrated, and eyes heavy with sleep. When you shifted your midsection though, you accidentally put more weight than intended down and pressed hard on Steve’s hand.
Stirring, he lifted his head and chest a bit in response to your motion. Voice heavy, muffled with sleep, and eyes squinted, he yawned briefly and then asked, “You okay, sweetheart?” Reaching up to rub his groggy eyes with one hand and gently grabbing your pointer finger with the other.
You hesitated. You were so tired, but you also didn’t want him to get upset with you. Although you were comfortable with Steve, and he had given you no reason to not trust him, three months isn’t a long time to be with someone. Ultimately, after taking a moment to think, you decided to tell him the truth. After all, Steve had always been so receptive to listening to your complaints in the past concerning clothes, loud sounds, and overstimulating social scenes.
“I’m okay, I just can’t seem to get entirely comfortable. The sheets keep sticking to my legs,” you spoke quietly, slightly embarrassed at your confession.
Steve almost immediately sat up at the confession, pressing a kiss to the back of your head. “You should’ve told me sooner! I’ll be right back.” He hurriedly got out of his bed. In the distance, you heard a closet open and close, as well as his footsteps, heading back to the room. When he came back, he had his arms full of new sheets which he put down on top of the duvet.
Reaching his hand out, he grabbed onto your fingers and pulled you up, wrapping an arm around your waist and pressing a chaste kiss to your forehead. “I promise I’ll be quick,” he spoke earnestly, proceeding to wrap your shoulders with a stray blanket to keep you warm while you stood.
Stripping the bed, he quickly pulled down the blankets and ripped off the old sheets. “I stole my parents' expensive sheets; they should be a lot more comfortable,” he spoke, offering you a toothy grin while you stood next to the bed, slightly embarrassed by his actions.
It took him only a few minutes to replace the sheets and throw the duvet cover back on. When he finished, he promptly hopped back into his previous spot, making himself comfortable. For a second, you were worried he was a little bit upset, but when he pulled the blanket up for you, an invitation to nestle back into his chest and get some rest, you felt a strong sense of relief.
You hopped back in bed next to him, returning to your previous positions. He tucked his arm back under your torso, nestled his head into the crook of your neck, wrapped his remaining arm around your front, and stuck one of his legs comfortably and loosely between yours.
“Try to get some rest now,” he spoke, pressing a kiss to your shoulder, loosely interlocking his hand under your torso with your own. You fell asleep to the feeling of his chest rising and falling, comfortably warm, and confident you had the best boyfriend in the world.
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rocksibblingsau · 8 hours
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Hey so since everyone is throwing adopt branch ideas I'm going to to throw this out there, Bergen adopted branch. Here me out ok. Since he's grey he can't make bergans happy so they give him to prince gristle as a pet till he regains colors to make him happy. Eventually tho they bond being grey and unhappy. Poppy even mentioned the similarities in the first movie. When the prince becomes king he makes branch a person of royal status because he has no friends. He can tell Bridget likes gristle cuz he's actually a smooth romantic (he got it from Bruce) he probably does is so gristle would leave him alone. They realize they don't need trolls to be happy! Branch has just been like: this sucks but at least I'm not dead and some Bergen don't 100% suck. I'm not sure how he'd react to them being happy… but just throwing this out here.
I'm a sucker for Bergen AUs (Bergen Branch a concept I love toying with), and Branch being 'adopted' by the Gristles is a very interesting one! I actually believe I saw one here on tumblr, though I can't recall who made the AU.
I could absolutely see Gristle Jr as a child being a bit more open to actually talking with trolls, and with Branch talking back to him he'd likely quickly see Branch as a person.
This is the one AU where I don't know if Branch could regain his colors early. He has a lot of Bergen trauma and unlike the rest, no one is actually invested in his mental well being from the get go. Here's the kicker though, he's also not been exposed to as much as the Pop Trolls nonsense, so he might not be as jaded and openly hateful to music itself.
I like the idea of Bridget cleaning Gristle's room and talking to Branch, or rather talking at Branch. I don't think she'd ever have gotten to eat a Troll either (Chef clearly doesn't consider her a 'person' much so she wouldn't have given her one during Trollstice) so I don't think she's aware they can really talk. They sing, yeah, but to her and most Bergens it's probably more in a parrot type way (mimicking language but no human levels of sentience/sapience).
She sorta uses Branch to vent to and talk about how in love with Gristle she is and how he'll never notice her and after enough times of this Branch gets tired of the silent treatment not working and says something and nearly gives her a heart attack.
Branch ends up playing therapist to two Bergens.
"Out of the three of us, two of us being creatures of pure misery incapable of feeling even the faintest joy on their on and one of us being a creature of pure joy made to sing and dance nonstop... how am I the most miserable person in the room?"
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amazingmaeve · 1 year
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PARALLELS
scream (1996) // when a stranger calls (2006)
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fiepige · 10 months
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Just pointing this out since I haven't seen anybody else mention it:
Notice how Hobie's already collecting parts for his own watches before they even get to the lab?
Look at him in the gif above and you can clearly see him pickpocket something from a tray from a bypassing spider-person!
I love this detail so much!
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And notice when they get to the lab and Jess is no longer with them he no longer hides the fact that he's taking stuff from the lab (he even makes sure Miles sees it, probably to signal to him that he doesn't respect the spider-society and neither should Miles).
This also shows that Hobie trusts Miles more than the other spider-people already! Since he doesn't have a problem with Miles seeing him take all this stuff from the lab, but he hides it when he's around the other spider-people as seen in the first gif!
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soundwavemain · 2 years
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I can’t remember who mentioned it, but to the person who said that what Casey Jones Jr. learned from Master Michelangelo was “Dr. Delicate Touch”: thank you.
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pyrovilian · 3 months
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Me and the bad bitches I pulled by being autistic
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mirkwoodmunson · 1 year
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Moonie my beloved.
i’m not sure if your requests are open but. i need eddie munson // gremlins content like i need god. What are his thoughts watching the movie for the first time. is he haunted by the thought of stripe. does he need a gizmo in his life or is he already a gremlin after midnight. inquiring minds must know ,, thank you g bless
WWUUUHHH UHEUUU REY THIS GOT ME SO EXCITEDJKkghkfk
eddie and you love going to the movies, barreling out right after school or sneaking into midnight shows of the latest horror releases, spending full weekends in the theater to watch your favorites over and over again. of course you guys sneak in your own snacks and treats, but you're respectful about it, always making sure to clean up after yourselves. eddie'd worked a few shifts as an usher one summer and christ how he hated cleaning up after the slobs -- he vowed to never be that kind of customer.
oh, but, when you two first see the trailer for gremlins on tv? he's already staring at you and grinning when you whip your head around to him.
"um. we're seeing that," you state matter-of-factly.
eddie snorts, about to say something in agreement, and then gasps, full shock,
"...babe... BABE!"
"what??"
"that's the SAME DAY ghostbusters is out."
wayne just watches from his recliner with a smirk as you -- unsure of how to express your excitement -- begin dog-piling yourself on eddie while cheering, your boyfriend cackling all the while.
that friday, eddie and you aren't at school, oh no. in fact, you're one of the first ones in line at the theater, 'giddy' not even covering it as you both recite lines from the trailers, discussing theories and what you expected.
ghostbusters is the first flick of your double-feature -- to say you both enjoyed it is a heavy understatement -- and going into the second movie of the day you're beyond ready for whatever gremlins throws at you.
the set-up part of the film has you both hooked -- hell, just the trailer had you hooked, but when you finally see gizmo for the first time, whining over how cute he is, eddie is cheesing hard and squeezing you into him. he loves the movies as much as you, but watching you watch movies? sometimes that was even better. eddie was a sucker for your commentary.
he's scolding the screen as every mogwai rule is eventually broken, fully immersed, fully engrossed, fully ready to fight stripe with his bare hands. the moment the antagonist dares to spit upon sweet, innocent gizmo, eddie has a vendetta.
although, that's not to say he doesn't absolutely love every minute of the gremlins being gremlins. he's cackling and pointing, elbowing you excitedly through the whole chaos montage. and when it comes to mrs. deagle's turn for a visit, he's on the edge of his seat just waiting to see what will happen.
when the old lady goes soaring, you both along with the audience are clapping and cheering at the grisly yet much-deserved demise. barney could rest easy now, poor dog.
now, eddie would never openly admit it, but he was a sucker for those old disney movies -- ever since he was a kid. when the gremlins are all together in the theater, watching snow white and entranced by the dwarves' working song, he's singing along with them too, with a grin so wide his cheeks are hurting.
somewhat surprisingly to you, eddie is near hiding his face in your shoulder when stripe finally meets his end, whining sounds of distaste as the creature melts and perishes. you just coo and pat his cheek, while your eyes are glued to the screen in delight.
you could swear as well you hear him sniffle when gizmo bids billy goodbye as the movie draws to a close. you don't judge, though. you're definitely crying a little, too.
you'd gotten to the theater early in the afternoon, and after two flicks it still wasn't too late in the day, but the excitement had definitely wiped the pair of you out. eddie leans into you heavily, almost sad, pouting and squeezing his arm around your shoulders as yours does around his waist.
"...i want a gizmo..."
you snort softly and tilt your head to peck his cheek, "i know, sweetie, i know."
in bed that night, curled up together and yawning in-between reminiscing in the day you'd had, eddie is about to get up for a glass of water when he pauses.
"what's up, babe?" you question softly, rubbing his back. eddie shuffles a bit and turns his head to look at you, bemused and smirking.
"... what if there's gremlins out there..? ghouls..."
you can't help the laughter, giving him a playful shove out of bed to which he whines and makes a show of tiptoeing to the door, cracking it open and peaking out.
"well, then, you better go bust 'em! show 'em who's boss, baby, you got it."
and, of course, eddie most definitely is a gremlin, as he sheepishly re-enters the room with the glass of water and a plate full of food for you both to share. tired before, he's wired after the late-night feast, leaping around you sat in bed asking repeatedly as you're wracked with giggles, 'who you gonna call?? ED-BUSTERS!'
the next few days neither of you can go a full sentence without quoting the films at each other, and of course you go back over the weekend multiple times, at least once with wayne after convincing him to join you.
a few weeks after release and it continues when eddie is crouched in front of the tv, grumbling softly and smacking the sides, adjusting the antenna while the screen shifts between shades of fuzz. he huffs, calls to you while you're in the kitchen. "hey! theres GREMLINS in here. we got gremlins in the tv."
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coffeeandcalligraphy · 6 months
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taking suggestions for a lonan and harrison's favourite movies list!!!!! preferably 2006 & before!!! any genre!!!!!
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floral-hex · 2 months
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woke up at 4am feeling the weight of my life crushing me, so I’ve been sitting out in my car for the last couple of hours because I just need. to. be. somewhere else.
#tumblr ate something like this but I think I deserve to shout uselessly into the void#shits rough dawg#I know it’s rough for everyone. I feel shitty even talking about myself. still… compelled to vent… big butts#haven’t really been on here much since it hasn’t really scratched that itch lately & just makes me feel lonelier#it’s cold#saw the Jazzercise studio open across the street. 5am for Jazzercise? wow. early.#and then everyone left an hour and a half later. lights out. everybody gone. weird schedule. I am perplexed.#went down the road and got a soda and I’ve been sitting in my driveway contemplating for the last 2.5 hours#guy at the gas station tried to talk to me but I just half assed a smile and nod and left#even though I know I’d love to just… talk to someone. I suppose it has to be ‘on my terms’ whatever those are#I miss having a therapist. or even just when my little brothers would talk to me. when anyone would. blegh#my insurance is still a mess and I’m about to run out of one of my blood pressure meds this week#maybe I’ll have a stroke. scary to think about. I think about dying a lot but that potential feels too real. just… pop! and I’m done.#I’ll try today to finally push to straighten it out but everything feels daunting#woke up with so much anxiety. about my health. my hearing. no money. my life. had to get out of the house even if it’s just right outside#hate to say it but I need(want) thc. haven’t wanted to spend money on it but I could have really used it this morning#can’t be sad if you can’t feel anything (jokingly but also not. whichever is less sad sounding)#actually treated myself to Dune 2 last week and it was so so good. wish I could go again. but it’s drugs food or movie right now. so…#I know. dumb priority but BIG SCREEN. maybe it’ll hit theaters again for the next awards season hopefully. just a real nice loud experience#anyway… I should go inside. almost 7am. need to take my brothers to school then drive my mom to her daily appointments#I’ve felt so hollow and angry and sad for so long it feels like. I feels so weak and sad and I’m tired of it. I’m so tired.#I’ve been eating about 1 meal a day and sleeping a lot. this is the worst my body has ever been. I feel like I’m just waiting to die.#is this relatable?#just have to look past it. it is nothing. this body is nothing. just enjoy your soda.#gonna look at pictures of butts now#ok gotta go I love you goodbye forever#you can ignore this#text
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beachyserasims · 2 months
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Autumn & Darion's Loving Bed
Inspiration : She's gotta have it.
Beginning / Previous / Next
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