#but I love this team so much and I'm so proud of the lads

[delphinia13]

I don’t have any decent pictures of the match (too busy watching it) but I was lucky enough to be at the Scotland v Wales 6 nations match today!! Such a great game, sure, Scotland were scrappy in the first half, but with a final result of 35-7 I'm not complaining!!! First time Scotland have won their first two games back to back since the 6 nations became the 6 nations! We'll almost certainly get beaten by France and/or Ireland, but even if it's foolish I want to hope that this could be our year! Either way, I had a fantastic day today, huge congratulations to the Scottish team!

[gabigabigabby]

second best | l. norris

lando norris x sainz!reader

the landosainz saga

a/n: LANDO P2 AT THE HOMETOWN GP SO PROUD OF MY BOY. also my first f1 fic so bear w me. also hometown gp content. ALSO best gp in the calendar i don't make the rules

synopsis: lando wins p2 in singapore and you celebrate with the entire mclaren team

—

ynsainzzz

Singapore

liked by carlossainz55, lewishamilton and 669,002 others

ynsainzzz now, isn't that just lovely? 2nd 🧡

tagged: landonorris, mclaren

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mclaren Our Lando! 🧡

landonorris SECOND!!! 😆

ynsainzzz landonorris 🔝

landonorris All because of youuuu princess! 😘🧡

ynsainzzz landonorris you are too much 🤞🏽

carlossainz55 Cabrónnnn [Badass]

comment liked by ynsainzzz and landonorris

landovsthewrld congratulations landoooo 🧡

mclarenovererrthing LN4 🔝🧡

carlandonorrainz Lando sharing the P with Carlos in the best GP in the calendar 😭😭😭

ynsainznorris4 y/n and lando... enough to make a grown man cry 🥹

georgieandlew Congrats Lando 🔝

f1saveslives top driver today lando

francisca.cgomes my fav couple🥹

comment liked by ynsainzzz

ynsainzzz francisca.cgomes come to the japan gp imy💔

landonorris francisca.cgomes kind of you kika 🥹

mclaren

liked by ynsainzzz, carlossainz55 and 359,853 others

mclaren WHAT IT MEANS! 🧡 Simply stunning drive, landonorris! 👏

tagged: landonorris

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ynsainzzz 🌟boy 🧡🤞🏽

comment liked by mclaren and landonorris

pierregasly 🔝

lewishamilton Good lad 👊

carlossainz55 The Lando to my Car 🧡❤️

comment liked by ynsainzzz

francisca.cgomes 🌟🌟

footyandf1 P1 soon Lando ☝🏽

gaslyxnorris sick drive-around tonight lando!

landonorizz the people's boy!!!! 🧡

carlossainz55 and landonorris

Singapore

liked by pierregasly, ynsainzzz and 1,862,149 others

carlossainz55 CARLANDOOOO 1-2!

tagged: landonorris

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landonorris Kissies kissies ❤️🧡

comment liked by carlossainz55

ynsainzzz liking bc lando's in this photo

carlossainz55 ynsainzzz I'm not surprised, do what you want, I guess

landonorris ynsainzzz love you baby boo bear 😘😘

h44milton ynsainzzz you'll be drowning in lando's "kissies" as soon as you get back to the hotel

ynsainzzz h44milton tell me about it😭

landonorris ynsainzzz i thought you loved them!!! 🥺

pierregasly landonorris hate to break it to ya bud... 😂

ynsainzzz proud of you hermano ig 🌟🤞🏽

carlossainz55 ynsainzzz yeah thanks y/n mi hermanita. This is the least I expected from you 😅🤞🏽

c4rlossa1nzjr YES CARLANDOOOO ❤️🧡

tomholland2013 Congratulations mates! 🌟

comment liked by carlossainz55 and landonorris

sergioramos ¡Enhorabuena! 👊

comment liked by carlossainz55

livelaughlovef1 Congratulations Carlos and Lando!!! Best duo in the sport ☝🏽❤️🧡

ynsainzzz

liked by landonorris, pierregasly and 1,662,540 others

ynsainzzz damn. lucky me ig 🧡🐐

tagged: landonorris

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landonorris So orange is a not so bad colour after all innit? 😆

ynsainzzz landonorris don't try to convince me ☝🏽

landonorris I love you the absolute most princess!!!! 🧡🤞🏽👩🏼‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻

ynsainzzz landonorris love you more champ 👩🏼‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻

carlossainz55 I guess you guys are cute 🤷🏽

ynsainzzz carlossainz55 about time hermano 🙄

pierregasly ❤️

comment liked by ynsainzzz

charles_leclerc You still bleed red tho 🤷🏻❤️

ynsainzzz charles_leclerc okay bro and? 🥱

oscarpiastri 🧡🧡

ynsainzzz oscarpiastri great drive tonight oz!! +10 up, prouda ya 👊🧡

oscarpiastri ynsainzzz thanks y/n 🙏🏻🧡

allthingsf1 Love you guys!!!

francisca.cgomes lando is so lucky

landonorris francisca.cgomes real talk‼️

ynsainzzz francisca.cgomes damn right he is, ain't nobody else finna wanna get on a plane and fly across the world to do this wit him😆❤️

sophiaaemelia so happy for you guys!!! celebrate that p2 🤍

ynsainzzz sophiaaemelia thanks sweet!! let's arrange something soon 😘

comment liked by landonorris

madelineargy 👏👏👏

comment liked by ynsainzzz

neymarjr Landoooo 👏🏽👏🏽

landonorris neymarjr 😆😆😆

comment liked by ynsainzzz

biglandogirl you guys are too cute 😭😭😭

landonorizz4 you're so lucky frrrr! congratulations lando!! 🧡

carlando455 you calling lando the goat😭 that's literally what he is!! congrats on p2 lando!!!!!

landonorris

Marina Bay Singapore

liked by carlossainz55, ynsainzzz and 912,827 others

landonorris Whatttttaaaaa weekend ❤️

tagged: mclaren, ynsainzzz, carlossainz55

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ynsainzzz i love ur camera

landonorris ynsainzzz thanks, you can have it at suzuka 😉

ynsainzzz congratulations to my tiny boy with the biggest heart!!! i love you very much pet 🤞🏽🌟🧡

landonorris ynsainzzz love you to pieces lad 🤞🏽

ynsainzzz seems like the letter L no longer stands for Loser anymore, stands for Lando P2 babyyyyy ☝🏽👩🏼‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻

landonorris ynsainzzz on gooooddd

carlossainz55 Mi lagooooo [My lakeeeeee]

landonorris carlossainz55 hermanoooo 🫡 [brotherrr]

pierregasly 🔝 drive from you tonight, brother! 🫡

comment liked by landonorris

georgerussell63 🔝

comment liked by landonorris

mclaren Queen has spoken: the letter L stands for Lando P2! Put it in the dictionary 🌟🧡

ynsainzzz mclaren on god, team ☝🏽🧡

landonorris mclaren yes to all this

carlandoooo554 Best race of the year, argue with the wall 🫡

francisca.cgomes yes bossssss 🫡 well done 👏🏽

landonorris francisca.cgomes miss you 🥲

h44milton congratulations!!! now we will need a singapore dump soon lando, counting on you for it 👊

landonorris h44milton lando.jpg 👀

[majorproblems77]

LU Update! So welcome back to the analysis corner with me!

We have another LU update! Called Moving forward we see the heroes leave the town and make their way to the location that Sky found. With learning a little more about the team as a whole.

With 10 pages there's a lot of information to work through so I hope you are sitting comfortably

As always Linked universe (LU) belongs to @linkeduniverse and Jojo, I own none of the pictures I'm using and please give the original post some love. It's very well done and I love this comic so much.

You can find the comic here!

And as always there are spoilers abound for the most recent update!

Now sit back, grab some water and snacks and let's do this!

So before we get started im just gonna say that the brain cell is pinging around this lot so much that I'm bound to miss some stuff. But I shall try my best to get everything I wanna say said.

It was only some of you, captain, dont forget that.

(Oblatory look at my blorbo picture, he's so sweet. Blorbo blorbo blorbo)

Okay I'll behave this time

(No i won't)

I can understand the concern from the captain, as a captain from the army during a time of war secrets are dangerous. He's probably thinking if Twilight has concealed this what else has he concealed.

And then we get snarky wars again

I missed the snarky captain, he's wonderful.

Also the line about double duty, Come on captain, you know full well that patrol is an important part of a group dynamic like this.

This also confirms that the group have had encounters with monsters outside of what we've seen. As the line from wars about missing fights implies that they've fought a bunch of stuff. But we've only really seen wolfie in a fight back in the sunset arc.

Twilight fondly mentioning Midna, I'm so proud of him.

These two are the goddamn brothers ever and I love them dearly. Also, the knowledge we are about to be given about how this works is very exciting.

The brothers ever

All of them

Twilight thinking Wild had more than two brain cells. I love him. And the hug? The hug gives me life.

Also the captain, the captain is a point to talk about here. This feels like an accusatory sentence. The "You dont say?"

Me trying to figure out how time travel works in LU.

Legend, why are you so grumpy about this? Like he looks angry to hear this.

Four thinking about the implications of this sentence. I can literally hear the brain cell bouncing as it pings from hero to hero as they try to figure out this time travel thing.

Wind is a small bean as well look at him. The youngest I love the eyes.

Ahh, so thats the explanation. A spirit wolf that helped guide him on his journey which he trusted so much that he thought that the wolf he saw here was just another spirit until twi changed in front of him.

But this line from him is so sad. "Right after my resurrection" and "we both would have known the grave." This feels like as a person wild is at peace with it but doesn't want others to have to go through what he did. He's a chill dude and i love him for that to be honest.

Meanwhile, my blorbo Sky is out here trying to get actual work done. This is 10/10 the sksw dousing experience if you've not played it. You just swing the sword around while it pings at you until you eventually find what you are looking for.

Fi is trying her best.

Lads all of you need to remember that not all of you have had things that perform transformation magic. Im surprised (But also not surprised) That Time doesn't have anything to say about this. Like my man has used a tone of different transformation masks that change him into various different things and has one that turns him into a god.

The magic users ganging up on the non-magic users, like please behave.

Ahh Time, Time is the disappointed old man that has to coral a bunch of kids. And Wild is like the most kid of them all. (Tell me why I'd love to know! :D) (Which makes sense if we take LU to be at most a few months after the end of his game. Wild would be 18 at most.)

the sort of conversation you dont want to involve yourself in Time trust me on this one.

JUST SOME GUY WILD JUST DESTROYED TWILIGHT OKAY RIP

Feels bad for twi man he earned that title and to have it reduced to just some guy.

Wild is gonna get told off by Time if he ain't careful, that's his blood descendant right there and we all know he has a soft spot for him.

This is important, because I'm pretty sure most of them did at one point.

Another thing that appears to be a constant amongst the team is the need to conceal an identity. Either from them or them to others.

I'm not versed in all of their games so I can't go into full details but these guys ain't the only ones. Pretty much all of them have. The spirit of courage does love secrets, doesn't it?

Thats my blorbo and he's so sad help he

Blorbo blorbo blorbo

Give him a hug and reboot Fi and it'll be fine.

To echo the words of Time.

Curious.

Now this depends on what exactly Sky was dousing, was he dousing the portal, the helmet outside the portal? The postman even?

My money is on the helmet outside the portal, so that Dink came back into this timeline to retrieve it before leaving. But I may be incorrect on that account because Fi is able to track people as well as objects (Sksw would often have you tracking Zelda directly)

OHHHH

I was wondering how they were going to do it. But with Twilight able to track it they'll be able to use a combination of dousing and him sniffing out Dink's scent to be able to find him no matter where he might be.

It's so distinct, twilight you know by saying that you're gonna have some of these guys asking questions. Just wait for the next campfire story time it's gonna come up.

I can see Wind and Twilight having a conversation like this.

"What does Dink smell like?" "What?" "You heard me."

Oh he's so excited look at him!

Oh four.

I wonder if we are gonna have a four and Twilight conversation about this, with four's past he's understandably worried about the use of dark magic in one of his friends.

Oh come on legend lighten up, the child has never seen something like this before.

I'm glad Hyrule is coming in for his defence and all but 5 minutes ago Hyrule you were with Legend and saying to Wild that there's a load of items that do it.

Why is wind just so wonderful?

Look at him go!

Thats gotta be Wind, He's been so excited about this I can't see it being anyone else.

Bark Bark!

Wolfie beloved.

Im here for more brotherly content from the team, they are wonderful.

Now lets go find us a Lizard, or iron knuckle or whatever he transforms into next.

And thats all from me! I loved this update and there was so much to unpack I know I've missed stuff! But I hope you enjoyed it! :)

(Also apologies for spelling mistakes I'm sick rn but wanted to get this done)

Have a great day!

[harrumphingtons]

There were so many Jamie parallels to various parts of season one and I love it

There's the "sexy little baby" callback which made me giggle

But also Jamie in the match totally mirroring s1e5 Jamie was just so beautiful to watch because it really drives home the point of how much he's grown. Both episodes have Jamie scoring a fantasatic solo goal, Baz the pub lad shouting "Jamie Tartt, you fucking king!", Jamie then being subbed out — for Roberts in both instances, no less. But the difference between Jamie's actions are so stark, like, wow. I'm so proud of him. I love him so much.

Also Jamie mirroring s1 Roy: like, there's the one shot everyone's talking about where Jamie's sitting on the bench, alone in the locker room with his injury that totally mirrors Roy in the s1 finale. Then there's also the bit where he's saying goodbye to everyone as they leave the locker room, which (in my mind) was a mirror of that scene at the end of s1e9, when Roy's doing the same thing -- albeit it's training the others are going to, and Roy does follow them out at the end -- but still. And the applause as Jamie walked off the field, which parallels both Toy at the end of s1 and also Roy getting an applause from Chelsea earlier this season, what with it being his former team and all.

And we cannot forget, Jamie in the treatment room and Ted seeing him through the door, but this time Jamie's being taken care of and he's happy my heart-

[ace-but]

Big Hugs!

So the person who requested the cooking thing, I'm sorry but that is kicking my ass rn, it'll be up soon but one of the characters I chose for it is really tripping me up rn

But! Here's the list of characters I think are physically affectionate! Why? Because I'm a cuddly little guy and I like to think of other cuddly little guys.

Characters: Bennett, Diluc, Diona, Gorou, Heizou, Klee, Qiqi, Razor, Thoma, and Venti!

Warnings: Physical touch/contact, playful violence, mentions of kinks(Heizou's part)

Not edited! Sorry

Diluc probably has the longest part, I'm sorry, he's the love of my life.

You're joking if you don't think Bennett greets people with a hug!

Bennett-

Bennett is just... Like that. Y'know? He thinks it's the best way to greet someone you know! And it's not only people he knows very well. If you know Bennett, you're going to be hugged!

I think he also would cuddle in to sleep at night on adventures. If his team would allow it, of course! It's just, the way he feels safest. And if you try to escape in the morning, Bennett makes the saddest little noise, but doesn't hold onto you. He's just a cuddly little fella.

I'm a little hesitant to write romance stuff for the kids in this age range, just because it's a little weird to try and imagine them in that way? But I know that there are definitely kids his age who are like "Bennett <3" so, I will? No one be creepy about this tho, I'll find you.

Bennett seems like the kind to always hold his partner's hand. Like all the time. It makes him feel safe :)

He also slings an arm around their shoulder sometimes. Oh, and tickle fights are frequent. He is immensely ticklish, and he finds it fun!

Diluc-

I have very strong opinions on Diluc. One of the hills I will die on is that fact the Diluc ABSOLUTELY play fights with his friends. Not that he has many.

Diluc is the kind to be walking next to you, decide he's bored, and shove you to the side without saying a word. You'd better shove him back! The fight will go on for as long as possible.

If you're a similar size to him, just straight up wrestling is common. Anyone who grew up with siblings knows why. It's the easiest way to entertain yourselves! But if you're smaller than him, he's not likely to try and wrestle with you. Just like... You're too small, what if he actually hurt you? But if you come at him, that all goes out the window.

Oh, and if you're short? Hello new armrest. On your shoulder, or if you're tiny like I am, on your head is Diluc's favorite place to lay his arms.

Yup, it's affectionate headbutting time. If you're not quite tall enough for him to comfortably headbutt your chest, then it's right in the side of the face.

If you're taller than him(first of all, what the fuck, shrink) Diluc can, and will, headbutt you.

Of course none of this happens in public. The public can never know how genuinely playful Diluc can be. He would rather die than let everyone know.

If you're dating? Cuddlebug. Please let him hold you. Especially if you're considerably smaller than him. Just letting him hold you close, trusting him enough to let him hold you close? It means the world to Diluc.

In his sleep, he reaches out for you, and if he grabs you, you'll never escape. Strong lad wants his partner safely in his arms.

If you have long, thick, hair like this man does, you know that sometimes... It's just too much work to brush it out properly.

Please, please, please brush this man's hair for him. He'll melt. Just absolutely melt.

Oh also, if you're short, or really tall, Diluc will just scoop you up. Just grab you. No reason, just to grab you.

Babey!!! No romance, she's babey!!!!! I'll hurt you if you make this weird!!!!!

Diona-

Diona might not admit it, but a good scratch behind the ears is sometimes just what she needs.

She's proud, but also cat, so...

Your desk? Her seat. Your stack of important paperwork? Her pillow.

Will sit on your lap and watch you do work. Or that's what you think she's doing, until suddenly her head lulls back, and her back hits your torso because she's fallen asleep.

Any dangle-y bits on your outfit are her favorite. She's not likely to bat at them, just grab and hold.

Gorou-

Now, Gorou also occasionally craves some good scratchies. But he's an adult(I think???), and that's very unprofessional. So don't touch his ears or his tail!

Generally, don't touch someone without permission but like-

Anyway, Gorou gives you a little punch on the shoulder when he greets you, and if you're really close with him, he gives you a hug! One of those really aggressive ones with the loud pats on the back.

Gorou always stands close enough that your shoulders are touching. He just enjoys being close to people.

If you're dating, you have free reign to play with his ears and tail. Even in front of people! He loves you that much.

In fact, please rub his ears, you are very good at that, and it is very pleasant.

Nuzzles. Gorous nuzzles you all the time. He just likes doing it. He can't explain it really. He nuzzles your neck, and you can hear his tail going crazy. The simplest joy Gorou can find in life.

Not actually very cuddly in his sleep, usually, but when he's tired? You couldn't peel him off if you tried. Evenings and mornings are a little more difficult, because you have to go about all your routines with a clingy Gorou wrapped around you.

Heizou-

It may surprise you, but I think this guy is a massive creep. I don't like him. But, I have seen his fans, they scare me, and endear me at the same time. So this is for you guys.

Seriously tho, this guy freaks me out. I was planning on using him, but even I can't look past what he's said.

Walking with friends? Heizou has his arm around their shoulders the whole time. It honestly looks like he's leading you somewhere, even when you're the one leading him.

Playful shoves, like Diluc. But he's smaller, and slightly more feral, so expect things to get really out of hand really quickly.

Knows all of your ticklish spots. Does he use that to his advantage? Sometimes. He's not ticklish himself, though.

If you're dating, he'll offer an arm to you when you walk anywhere. If you don't want to hold his arm, hold his hand. Heizou really likes to be held onto.

The leash he wears? It's for you <3

But no, seriously, you can hold that rope in public. In fact, you're the only one who's allowed to. Heizou hides the fact that it's straight up a leash most of the time. If you want, it can stay partially around his arm if you don't want to look like one of those weird domination kink couples. If you do, Heizou's fine with that.

If he's doing some sort of paperwork or other thing that requires he sit, Heizou wants you there too.

He's also really cuddly when he's tired. But he generally likes to be touched at all times. Do that thing where you hang onto his arm/chest? Heizou might actually swoon. Especially if it's at some sort of gathering or social event.

"We can sit at my desk, or I can grab a clipboard and come sit with you here. Which do you choose?"

Ah, the illusion of choice. Either way you end up on his lap.

Klee-

Klee! Loves! Hugs!

Klee greets her favorite people with a big smile and hug. When someone takes her somewhere, she holds their hand and drags them around excitedly. And her friends know she loves to nap on them.

Ruffle her hair, it makes her feel like she's doing good.

Qiqi-

Qiqi may prefer not to be warm, but Qiqi likes to be held. Qiqi will sit on your lap and watch you do whatever it is you're doing. Qiqi is happy to sit like this for far longer than you are.

Qiqi also likes to ride on your shoulders. She spreads her arms out and pretends to be a bird.

Razor-

"Hey, Razor! How have yo-"

And then he jumped on top of you without a second thought.

Razor knows... Not very much about human body language. But when the wolves are happy to see each other, the jump on each other. Razor is just showing that he's happy to see you!

Razor also sniffs things. He remembers your scent, and if you change something about it with perfume or lotion... Well he might not be pleased by that. He'll make his displeasure known with the few words he knows, and by rubbing all over you.

Razor also play fights with anyone he wants to play with. He has a certain level of maturity about him, but he's still a kid who likes to play around. Please play with Razor. It makes him easier to work with around bedtime.

If you're... Dating him... Well you'll never get him off of you.

Teach him to hold hands? Welp, learn to live your life with one hand, or face The Eyes™. He will probably want to hang onto your arm all the time. Let him!!! You monster!!!!

Sleeps on you. Not next to you. On top of you. But, he's very warm, at least?

The guy!!!!! Thoma loves to be loved. Hugs for close friends, holding hands with close friends. Close friends can sit on his lap for all he cares. Just! Touch! Him!

Thoma-

Except, don't tickle him. First of all, he's ticklish in all the wrong places, places that close friends probably shouldn't have their hands anywhere near anyway. Second of all, he's very ticklish, lightly brush a spot and he's d e a d.

Thoma likes to be given headpats.

If you brush dust off him, he smiles. If you poke him in the side, he smiles! You can't go wrong!!!!

If you're dating? Hand holding, hold his arm, sit in his lap all the time. Never sit anywhere else ever again. Please?

I am begging you, greet him by walking up behind him and wrapping your arms around his waist. Hold him there and feel all the tension release from his body and he leans back into your touch.

Run your fingers through his hair, Thoma melts every time. And while you're at it, kiss him on the top of his head.

Sleeping next to him? No, you wake up on top of him. Every night, without fail, he manages to pull you there. You're his new weighted blanket.

Slings an arm around your neck and makes you dance along with him! Venti is very fun to be around.

Venti-

Walk shoulder-to-shoulder with him! He may even place a hand on the small of your back to guide you.

Doesn't play fight or shove, but tickles. So. Much. Tickling.

If you're dating, Venti wants to be in your lap all day long.

Carry him on your shoulders if you can! And of course, get up early and do his hair for him. Venti will sniffle all morning about how sweet you are. He may even write another few songs about you!

Sleeping next to Venti, expect his face in your chest all night. That's the best place to sleep, after all. Oh! And he likes to lay his head on your lap, too!

[peanut-in-the-goal]

Did I disappear for nine months? Maybe. I'm back though with another fic for you people

Sirius loved deeply. He always has. His family didn’t love him much. He was born to continue the bloodline, to make sure the family name continues and that purebloods never die. He was born because that’s what was expected of Walburga and Orion Black. He wasn’t born out of want nor love, he was born out of expectation and need.

He’s known he wasn’t loved since he was young. He didn’t minded their opinion much anymore. Sure it hurt when his own mother told him he was useless and unlovable. Or when his father spit curse after curse at him like it was the easiest thing in the world. And of course it was unpleasant when his youngr brother started looking at him like he was nothing more than the dirt under his shoes. 

But he’s used to it now. He had the choice of siding with his family and earning their approval, or choosing his own path, and living his life his way. And Sirius chose to live. He waved way his own life without a second thought and created a new family at the age of 11.

He found comfort and safety in his new mates at Hogwarts. The mates who have taught him what real care felt like. And warmth and love. Not the superficial stuff his family pretended to provide at social events where they’d be kind to him and look proud of their young son in the publics eye. He felt the real love his friends provided when no one was there watching them, prompting them to be kind to him.

He’d never felt that before.

James was his brother. James stuck by him when his own brother refused to. 

He had Peter. Peter who was nervous and awkward but a great lad to be around. Peter who brought him muffins from the kitchens, and collected rocks that he thought was cool from the lake to give to Sirius.

And there was Remus. Remus who he was currently pining over, Remus. Remus with his oversized sweaters and wooly socks and bitter tea, Remus. Remus who turned into a werewolf once a month and still finds time to talk Sirius down from nightmares, Remus.

Remus who Sirius thinks he;s in love with, Remus.

And Sirius black loves hard. He loves all his mates, but Sirius Black loves Remus Lupin.

It scares him the first time he realizes that. He’s barely has a crush before and now he’s inlove with one of his best mates. 

He hides from Remus for a week when he first finds out. It’s subtle at first. He sits on the other side of the table in the great hall, sliding into the seat next to James and leaving Peter to sit next to Remus. Or teaming up with Peter in Charms class for the new project instead. He sat on the other side of James in potions so he wouldn’t be between Remus and James. He evades their nightly game of wizards chest, claiming to be super tired that entire week and going to bed early.

His game of hide and seek ends by the fifth day. After claiming to be tired once again, and he’s laying in bed with his curtains drawn, reading a book by wandlight, his curtains slowly open. He squints at the opening, the bright light hurting his eyes after laying in the dim bed for the better part of an hour. Because of course all his mates are still awake. They’re 15 year old boys who practically live off of caffeine. 

Remus’ head pokes past his curtains and Sirius inwardly groans. Because how can he look Remus in the eye when he’s wearing that red and brown checkered sweater with that sad look on his face, and tell him that he’s okay, and really is just tired.

“Did I do something wrong?” Remus asks. And woah is that not what Sirius expected him to say. He sits up, his book falling closed on his lap but he can’t even begin to care that he’s lost his page.

“What?” Sirius starts.

“Have I done something wrong?” Remus says again. “Because you have barely looked at me in these past few days and you won’t talk to me, and you won’t even sit by me anymore. And I guess it’s fine if that’s what you want to do but please just tell me if I’ve done something wrong.”

“Woah, woah, woah, Remus, hey—” Sirius tries to cut him off.

“If I’ve done something wrong at least let me know, that way I can fix it, andit won’t happen again.” His voice gets thicker the more he talks, and he won’t look Sirius in the eye. 

“Rem, wait a second.” Sirius dully registers the fact that James and Peter have stopped their bantering, no doubt listening to Remus’ rants but he can hardly bring himself to care.

“It’s been eating at me, trying to figure out what i’ve done but I can’t think of anything.”

“Remus.” Sirius says. And Remus finally snaps his mouth shut and looks at Sirius. His onslaught of emotion and words seeming to end. “You didn’t do anything wrong.” Remus opens his mouth like he wants to protest, but finds that he can’t because he really didn’t do anything wrong. 

“What?” He asks. And his voice is barely there, a ghost of a whisper as his voice breaks.

“Just…” Sirius starts, huffing in frustration while his hands start grabbing at his sheets and blankets looking for his wand. His book falls onto the ground and makes a small thud on the hard floor. “There you are,” he mumbles, finally finding his wand buried in his bed.

“Get in here.” He says, grabbing Remus’ arm and tugging him into his bed to sit across from him. He pulls the curtains closed again and casts a small muffliato so Peter and James can’t hear them. He takes a deep breath.

“I like you, okay?” He says. He fidgets with his hands, tossing his wand back and forth and rubbing it between his fingers. 

Remus’ eyebrows furrow. “Oh.”

And Sirius scoffs. At Remus, but also at himself because how could he be so stupid to hope that someone as great and pure as Remus could ever like someone as horrible and cruel as him.

“Yeah, oh.” He says. He’s looking at his lands now, the engraving on his wand suddenly extremely interesting. 

“Why?” Remus asks. It’s Sirius’ turn to furrow his eyes in confusion. 

“What do you mean why? You’re you. You’re moony. You’re thoughtful and protective, and you mother hen me sometimes which I thought would have been James’ job, but hey, roles change I guess,” he rambles. “And you’re stupid oversized sweaters and goss unsweetened tea and the way you smell like firewood and old books that just feels so welcoming and like what I think home should smell like.” Sirius spares a glance up to see Remus looking back at him with this blank and expression on his face. His eyes stay there, staring into Remus’.

“And those freckles you have covering your skin, and the scars that litter your body but show how strong you are, and how unbreakable you are. You’re pretty cool, Rem.” He says.

And Remus stares.

“Oh.” He says again. Sirius’ eyes flick back down to his hands. 

“Mhm.” He hums. “And I get it that you don’t feel the same. Merlin, you’re straight, I don’t know what I was thinking.” Sirius shakes his head, laughing at himself bitterly. “You can go now, I just thought you should know. You can stop blaming yourself now.”

Sirius gestured towards the curtains, lifting open a flap for Remus to leave through.

“I-I’m not. I’m not straight.” Remus says. Sirius just looks at him because of course that’s what Remus took away from this. 

“Oh.” Sirius says. “Okay, cool.”

“I’m bisexual.” Remus says. Sirius nods slowly.

“Okay Moony, thank you for telling me.” He says. Because what is he supposed to say? Congratulations?

“And you’re wrong.” Remus says. He doesn’t sound unsure of himself anymore, a new found confidence making itself known.

“Quoi?” Sirius questions. “What?”

“I like you.” Remus says to him. He looks him dead in the eye, ambr eyes meeting grey.

“Oh, sick.” Sirius says, and Remus snorts in laughter. 

“Yes Sirius, it’s very sick indeed.”

And Sirius laughs, smacking Remus with a pillow. “Yeah, yeah.”  He says. “What now?” He asks.

Remus shrugs. “I don’t know, we don’t have to decide now.”  He says. “We can just see what happens, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Sirius says. He sticks his fist out as an invitation for an awkward fist bump. Remus grins and returns it. “I’d like that.”

“Sirius! Stop the buzzing in our ears!” James yells. Sirius sighs and lays down.

“Way to ruin the moment, Potter.”  He says to himself. Remus chuckles and lays next to Sirius, rather close to himso he doesn’t fall off the bed. Sirius scoots over awkwardly to try and make room.

“I say you don’t lift the muffiato until tomorrow because of that.”

Sirius grins.

[sardonic-the-writer]

CONGRATS SARD!!!! SO PROUD OF YA!!!

can i have a match up for dsmp and bcu maybe

male please!

i’m more introverted, i tend to struggle masking my autism around my partner so they’d probably have to be okay with me talkin a lot.

i’m a huge fan of video games and deep conversations! and no traditional date ideas! i’m artistic in some not traditional senses! and have a passion for videography! so i’d love for them to also be chill with that and maybe help with projects!

i love to support my s/o works and will be their biggest fan always <3

-bee

Awww thank you!! Can't belive I'm at 2k, means so much to me! I belive that I ship you with—

LMANBUR!

(Close runner up: Sapnap)

• After establishing and running an entire country of his own, Wilbur is all more than willing to help out with projects of yours! After all you supported him all throughout the war with the dream team, why not return the favor

• Being a creative lad himself, he'll offer up some ideas, even presenting the opportunity for him to write a song specifically for your artistic endeavors!

• He loves it when you talk non stop to him. I'd a big listener and loves to observe you as you talk to him. Finds it entrancing! Will jump in with his own part of the conversation if you're okay with it as well

• Creative date ideas? You've got it. Wilbur never wants there to be a boring moment between the two of you

• As the president, he has a lot as his disposal, but he still does a lot of romantic things from scratch for you—not abusing his power simply because he loves you that much and wishes to show it

• Practically falls over swooning when you cheer him on when he has an idea or inspiration he wishes to carry out. Does his best to return the feeling with twice as much vigor

[fullofmoonsandstars]

Ted Lasso Season 3, episode 12 spoilers

1. What on earth is this beginning?

2. Isaac being judge is great but also the callback to Jamie and Nate with the money box was something I did not expect

3. God I hate Jane so much.

4. Roy Kent I love you.

5. Rebecca I swear to god what the fuck. You literally said that Richmond is your family and important

6. DID NOT EXPECT SINGING

7. Loving how Nate has just been welcomed back. Nate The Great is back baby

8. I'm going to miss the Pub Lads

9. Trent is an anxious little bean for his book 🥺

10. Roy opening up?? Being vulnerable? Not liking Roy vs Jamie at all. Did not like how Jamie brought up the sex tape. I understand why they had the conversation because Roy was actually not wanting to hurt Jamie but I didn't like it

11. Oh finally. They got their shit together a bit and figured out they're idiots but also yay for the two still being friends

12. Micheal!!

13. ROY WOOFED

14. MASK OF ZORRO REFERENCE

15. Crying over the clip Beard made

16. Michelle's new man has such an annoying vibe

17. Wait they all kept part of the sign 😭

18. Isaac my boy!!!! So proud of that goal

19. When even George is like wtf?? At Rupert

20. I just cried over a fake football match

21. Colin got to kiss his fella on the pitch 😭

22. You're right Ted, air con is a privilege (God I wish it was a thing in the UK)

23. I love Beard staying in England and his plan is flawless but I hate that he's staying for Jane

24. Oh ffs not the Dutch guy

25. Roy being manager is perfect. Sam being part of the Nigerian club! Not sure how I feel about Jamie and his dad.

26. WOMEN'S TEAM

27. Roy getting therapy, I'm so proud of him

28. Fuck the Jane and Beard wedding but I love how the team is there. Is Roy his best man?

[eeveedel]

hello if you ever have the time or energy I would love that essay on Louis’ ‘beautiful portrayal of masculinity’ pls and thank

luckily for you I have the day off work so OF COURSE I can talk about this!

This has been an ongoing point of discussion in the fandom, but I hate when people portray Harry as the feminine one/the one who's breaking gender roles and performing gender in a unique way, and say Louis is just masculine and a laddy lad or a chav or whatever. Because I think that's very surface level for both of them. Literally, it only looks at how they dress, and even then overlooks a lot of things!

Louis wears a lot of clothes were associate with traditional masculinity, sure -- dark colors, polo shirts, long shorts, track suits, etc. But he clearly loves fashion. He designs his own clothes, he can clearly coordinate fabrics, colors, and patterns well, has openly spoken about loving clothes and shopping. He would argue that he actually seems a lot more fashion conscious and aware of what looks good and how to put outfits together than Harry does, both in professional looks that stylists help him with but also street style and every day looks.

Also Louis has such a lovely outlook on love and emotions. He is proud of being romantic, has admitted to crying easily and being sensitive, the way he writes about love and emotion is so genuine and also filled with empathy. His writing focuses on not only his emotions about others.

Louis is a caretaker. We see this time and time again. He admits to being "the boss" both in 1D and his current career. But he seems aware that being the boss does not mean always being right and getting his way. It means taking care of others and attending to their needs. I can really see that in the way he listens to his bandmates and people on his team.

Also, Louis is just soft. He loves babies and children, he loves animals, he loves flowers and fairy lights.

This is where a lot of people go "that's the bare minimum!" or "why are we saying those things are feminine??" I'm saying that for better or for worse, liking clothes, taking care of others, and even having emotions are all things we assign to women and shame in men. But these are all wonderful things that Louis is proud of showing as part of himself, and a lot of men fear showing these things.

It matters because modern masculinity is a literal poison rotting the way men see themselves and the world, and Louis is out here showing himself drinking beers and joking around with his friends and being a proud man from a working class background who very much honors that specific masculinity, while also loving clothes, adoring babies, taking care of others and honoring his emotions.

Louis is just such a special person and I love him so much.

[lfc21]

Sons first match

"Right make sure you score loads of goals and don't take no crap from anyone alright lad?" Trent asked his 4 year old son who was waiting at the side lines to kick off his first match. Trents hands protectively rested on your little ones shoulders as he crouched down behind him looking st his very own view. Using the word crap probably wasn't trents cleverest move as a parent but it clearly didn't register within his brain. Yours and trents little boy had been dieing to play football with a proper team since he could kick a ball. In his eyes the only thing which mattered was to be like his dad and in this very moment he saw himself like his very own daddy.

"Right kids come on kick off time" the couch shouted from the middle of the pitch ushering all of the little children over with a huge smile. Your little boy ran over to you and gave you the biggest hug and ran off to start his little dream.

"Good luck little one" you shouted over to him as he turned around to look back at you with a huge grin on his face. Your little boy wanted to be like his dad but he was always a mummy's boy through and through. One of the many things your son admired about his dad was the love and patience he had for you and he knew he would grow up to have the exact same for you as he got older. Trent was on the side lines walking up and down like he was actually Jurgen klopp, he had forgotten this was a small 5 a side game between 4 and 5 year old kids.

"Trent stop walking up and down your making me nervous" you said to trent with a laugh as he was progressively becoming more and more stressed. Trent looked at you in disbelief like you had just told him he was going to receive no Christmas presents.

"Babe this is serious stuff" trent said gesturing to the 10 boys legging it down the moody green grass in fits of laughter.

"Honestly I don't even think they know its serious stuff. Just let him have fun" you pleaded to trent kissing his cheek and watching how his eyes became slightly more gentle watching the game now you had told him that the only thing which matters is that he had fun. Trents arm found its way to your back snaking through your coat and cuddling you into his side to feel your warm embrace to more than likely shut you up.

"Oi no im not having that! Thats got to be a red card" trent shouted to the ref on the side lines all of a sudden causing his arm to fly off you and your ears to ring due to the high pitched screaming. Your face dropped at trents sudden screaming match infront of so many kids about a small game.

"Sorry lad where ignoring red cards there only kids" the referee shouted back with a laugh secretly trying to ignore the fact he wanted to run over to you both and ask for a picture. Trent offered the man a polite smile and decided to ignore his outburst he had let go atleast 30 seconds ago. You placed your hand within trents trying anything you could to calm him down.

-

The match had gone on for another 30 mins and they all decided to call it quits. You where incredibly proud of your little boy and how much effort he was putting in. Life with two boys who where extremely obsessed with football was difficult to keep on top off but it was something you couldn't get enough off.

"Oh well done lad I'm so proud of you" trent shouted wrapping his large arms around your sons small frame and lifting him into the air. Your sons face was a picture - a huge smile with booming eyes looking at his father with the most precious presence.

"I was trying to be like you" he said with a gummy smile as you and trent made your way over to the car park.

"Really? Well you look like a little me because you copied my hair" trent said with a warning face as he would always joke about him stealing his hair style.

"Noooo you copied mine daddy" he replied back latching onto his neck even tighter to try snd tease his dad. You looked over at them both as they where absolutely besotted in each others company.

"I think you two both copied off each other" you said to them both causing your little boys face to light up in joy at the thought of agreeing on something which ment both of them there in the wrong and not just one of them.

This is just a small one I thought I would write! By no means my best work but I love the concept and storyline. Please leave feedback! Requests are open

@prettylittletrent @hnrfc @travellvogue @yvessainteng @trentshoe @smileytaa @mrs-henderson @daddyhendo @goldenskyeng @kostasstsimikass @robbo38 @cornertakenquicklyyyy @chloereddy

[allthemenofmydreams]

More than a Champions’ Champion- Anyone you like

Today is the day I'm going to tell him I'm pregnant. I have known this since they won the second leg against Porto. A month ago. At that time, I was about four weeks pregnant; now I'm about to turn ten weeks. As much as I wanted to tell him, I managed to keep it a secret. Waiting for the best moment, which today seemed like the perfect time; because it was the Champions League Final against Manchester City.

I hadn't revealed it before; because with his tight schedule I didn't want to distract him, and just today as the season was ending it seemed like the right time, no matter what the final result was.

I was in the stands of the do Dragão stadium watching the game. I was so nervous, even though Kai made the leading goal in the first 45 minutes. Chelsea F.C. was winning.

The second time was complete madness. When the screen showed 7 minutes of additional time, I felt sick, but I managed not to puke. My nervousness disappeared and I felt relieved when the referee gave the final whistle.

All the Chelsea lads were running, jumping, and screaming, and so were us in the stand. We were so happy for the team. After the award ceremony, some of the players were going for their respective families or girlfriends. I stood looking at him standing in the grass looking for someone, for me. I waved at him to see me.

He came up to me, and as soon as he got close, he shouted.

“We did it! I did it!” his eyes were full of happy tears.

“Yeah, baby! I’m so proud of you!” I said as I too broke down in tears. This moment made me more emotional than usual. We hugged until we both calmed down.

“C’mon, let's go to the pitch with the rest,” he grabbed my hand to lead me, but I stopped him.

“Wait, there's something I wanna tell you” he turned around and looked at me. My hands started to sweat and I began to feel sick again. My nerves were playing me a bad trick, and I don't know why because I know he will be happy about the news.

“What is it?”

I took a deep breath, before playing with the words.

“Babe, maybe you did not score a goal today...but you did score” I was playing with the news hoping he would understand.

“What do you mean?” He looked at me confused.

“You scored a couple of weeks ago” he hit the jackpot.

“Yeah? where?” he still didn't get it.

“Your goal is in my belly” I placed my hands on my little belly. “I’m pregnant”

"Are you kidding?" he asked, looking at me expecting a sign of a lie, but I was serious. He realized what I had said and gave me a huge grin. "We're having a baby!" I nodded.

He hugged me and we started to jump for happiness.

“Wait, so all this time I told you your stomach seemed a little bigger and you told me it was swollen from something you ate...” I interrupted him, smiling.

“It was a little white lie”

“Oh my god!” I could see from the look on his face that he still didn't believe it but he was more than happy. “Today is the best day of my life!” he screamed and I laughed because all the people around looked at us.

“It's a win-win baby”

“I won the Champions League but also won the title of dad to be!” I was feeling emotional again, I've never seen him this happy. We both were over the moon. The baby was something we weren't looking for, but we weren't avoiding it either. We both knew it could happen at any moment.

He placed his hands on my cheeks, looked at my eyes, and added.

“Thank you, baby. You have made me, even more, the happiest man in the world. I'm anxious to meet our little bun; I know you will be the best mom on earth. Words can’t describe how much I love you and how thankful I am for having you.”

Tears began to run again as he was talking. He was the sweetest, kind and loveliest person I’ve ever met and I didn’t know what I did to deserve him.

“Thank you, for being by my side in all my ups but most important in all my downs. I’m truly, madly, deeply in love with you!” He placed a soft kiss on my lips.

“I’m truly, madly, deeply in love with you too!” I whispered and kissed him again.

“C’mon, let’s celebrate!” and we both joined the rest on the pitch.

[ihopethisendswell]

Naomi's ( Main) Team

Naomi has 3 teams, including this one, but this one is the one she caught and raised during her challenge. So without further ado....

Name: Neptune

Gender: " Male. He/ Him pronouns"

Species: Inteleon

Nature and Characteristics: Docile and Loves to Eat

Bio: Naomi's right hand mon. Both going through similar arcs of they're own, the two are inseparable. He's grown up a lot since he was a Sobble, oozing with the cool calm collectiveness as a leader now. It took him a lot to realize how good of a leader he is. He wasn't as energetic or loud as the other two starters, y'know? When he was a Sobble he just...cried and hid. Sometimes he wonders why Naomi chose him, but he's forever grateful. As an Inteleon, again, he's more confident now, no thanks to the support if his trainer and his team. He loves all of them dearly. He hopes that they can have many more battles to come, champion or not!

Name: Eloise

Gender: " Female, governor". she/her

Species: Corviknight

Nature and Characteristics: Brave and has a study body

Bio: ((Note: just wanted to say that ever since watching Chuggaconroys playthrough of Xenoblade Chronicles 2, I fully believe that a human Eloise would sound just like Morag. Okay, on with the bio))

If Neptune is Naomi's right hand mon, then Eloise is Neptune's right hand mon. Woman. Wing? Bird? Whatever, the point is that she's been with with Neptune and Naomi from the start. In the early days of their travels, she was the one who took up the leadership role, due to Neptune's timidness and Naomi's lack of self-confidence. Though she never once hated them for it,and tried her best to encourage the both of them to be the best they can be. Even if it means pecking they're heads every so often. Now, with all of them fully evolved, she couldn't be any more proud. Eloise is often seen as the protector of the group. The big sis. She cares for her team and her trainer. That being said: if any harm comes to her teammates or her trainer or both, she will not hesitate to act. You have been warned.

Name: Xena

Gender: " I'm just a wee lass, love" she/they

Species: Toxtricity

Nature and Characteristics: Calm and mischievous

Bio: Don't be fooled by her unassuming nature, this frog( ?) has a pranking streak and you might be her next victim. Fortunately her pranks aren't harmful, just mild inconveniences, like adding lots of Cheri berries to make the curry way hotter than it needs to be. Xena can be a bit spoiled, given that she was the baby of the group for a while, and thus being used to being babied( which also fueled her desire to become more independent). Other than her harmless pranks, Xena's pretty chill, always going with the flow. She loves hanging Marnie and Piers when they do, getting to rock out now and again. She's totally not trying to set up Naomi and Marnie together. Nope. She would never. Speaking of setting up.

Name: Luna

Gender: ".....female" she/her

Species : Hatterene

Nature and Characteristics: Quiet and Alert to Sounds

Bio: Emotions can be so loud. So negative. It's one of the reasons why Luna prefers Sebby. Yes he's loud, and sometimes annoying, but he's so.....him. So positive. Also because he's her baby brother and she generally prefer him over others. Until they both join Naomi's team. At first, Luna hated Naomi. Not because she was a bad trainer and unworthy of her attention, far from it. Even as a small Hatenna she could see the potential her newfound trainer had. The problem was the large amounts of self-doubt and self-loathing that ticked her off. It was practically oozing out of her! Ugh. She can't deal with that. It's.....too much. But it bothered her. How an obvious strong and kind person would think so low of herself. At the time, Luna thought it was stupid. To feel such a way, and was just planning to run off with Sebby when it was dark. But Sebby, her beloved Sebby, latched on to his trainer and refused to let go. Because of course he would do that. It's Sebby. So Luna stayed. And she watched. And, begrudgingly, warmed up to her trainer. And the rest of the team. And, somehow, engaged in a committed relationship with Xena. How? She doesn't know, but if any harm comes to her girlfriend she will see red. Ahem. Ever since she joined the team, Luna is more .....open to the idea of emotions. They're still loud. Still annoying, but they're.....nice. Even the negative ones. That's just what brings humans and pokemon together, hm?

Name: Sebastian "Sebby"

Gender: " Naomi says I'ma good boi!" He/Him

Species: Grimmsnarl

Nature and Characteristics: Jolly and Alert to Sounds

Bio: A good boi. The goodest boi. What a lad. When he first met Naomi and the gang,he didn't want to leave. Partially because he was just so excited to meet new people and make new friends! And because Naomi was going through some things when he and Luna was caught, and as an impidimp, he thrived off it. Now keep in mind this wasn't by his own will! When Luna broke it down for him after the fact he felt incredibly bad! (He couldn't let go of Naomi for an hour.) Even when Naomi gained more and more confidence in herself, Sebby stilled thrived. He's so happy that his trainer was loving herself the way he lived her! Just seeing her happy makes his day! He loves his team, both him and Xena like pulling pranks on the others( much to Luna's annoyance) and he really looks up to Neptune and Eloise! ( I say that as if they're really old or something lol). It may come as a surprise to some that Sebastian is a strategic thinker, often the one implementing strategies for the team( Luna's so proud). He's not afraid to fight dirt, btw. He's still a Grimmsnarl. Though no one would seem to notice given his cheery personality.

Name: Prince Yuki

Gender/Pronouns: " I am prince!" He/they

Species: Frosmoth

Nature and Characteristics: Hardy and proud of his power.

Bio: Is he an actual prince? Wouldn't you like to know. Yuki, despite his claims to be a prince, his a lot more humble than he lets off. Most of his ego comes from his battle prowess( he was considered to be the "strongest snom" on route 8). This cockiness had lead him into some trouble, particularly given who is considered the leader of the team, though no one really took his claims to leadership seriously....well. Except Sebastian. Now Yuki isn't stupid. He knows that no one truly believes his claims that he's royalty, nor that he had the skills to be a good leader. It infuriates him to no end, but it's something that he has long accepted. But Sebastian was different. He listened. He helped him train. He called him " His Majesty" or "My prince". He believed him truly. And soon his actions spread across the team. Of course by the time he evolved, Yuki was fine with them not using the title prince everytime given how close they all gotten, but it was still nice to be taken seriously! He never really got that before. And it all started with Sebas- Sebby. It all started with Sebby. Sometimes, at night, when everyone is outside of their pokeballs, camping out, Yuki would sleep close to Sebby. Usually he would hate getting close to anyone while he sleeps, given it gives him unnecessary warmth. But he makes Sebby the one exception.

[ivory-sunflower]

Arty Art Things ✨

Hellooo!

I've decided to post some of the arty things I've done either recently or in the last few years, well the pieces I'm somewhat proud of at least. All my posts tend to be a lot more wordy than they need to be but hey it's what I do here!

Conchúr White

Anyone one who's been on this blog for a bit will have probably have seen me talk about this lovely Irish fella. The pencil drawing is actually a year old as of yesterday, I only know that because screenshots of me flipping out about Conchúr following me on twitter popped up in my memories yesterday. I think I'd sent it to him at about 3 in the morning (I was not in a good head space at that point in time), so probably not what he was expecting to see when he opened his phone in the morning aha

The biro version is much more recent: I got bored while sat at my desk and doing research about university courses, saw a biro, saw my old drawing of Conchúr, had an idea. I revisited my GCSE art techniques and here we are. Again, I put this up on Twitter and now (at the the time I'm writing this) when you google "Conchúr White" it's the third top image of him which is a bit mad really. I think I spent all of about 20 minutes on Conchúr but another 45 minutes on the words behind him. The words are the names of the songs on his EP 'Bikini Crops', he doesn't just really love the idea of Channing Tatum driving him around at night in a daisy print bikini... Well maybe he does but what he does in his spare time is none of my business...

TechDif

So I mentioned that the pencil drawing of Conchúr came from a rough patch in my mental health and this one is no different! In fact this one came from an even worse circumstance so we love to see it. I had a bad, bad time in July and this started as a way of distracting myself from what was going on in my head. Without it, I can't honestly say I'd still be here so even if the final product of this had been a terrible mess I would still love it for keeping me alive. However, it did not turn out to be a terrible mess!

Now that the origin of this is out the way, where do I start with TechDif? Unlike Conchúr, I haven't really talked about them on here (unless you count one brief post about Citation Needed) before so I guess I'll do it here. The Technical Difficulties are a wonderful group of 4 British fellas who have had their fair share of fun online and even before. They did a radio show at university together, which went on to become their Reverse Trivia Podcast, later moving on to a panel show called 'Citation Needed': and a game called 'Two of These People Are Lying'. All of which I would thoroughly reccomend, they're one of my go to things when I'm having a rough time. All 4 of them are excellent! Tom Scott (red top, blue jeans on the picture) has his own YouTube channel which does content aside from TechDif. If you're quite nerdy and like science, linguistics, computers, or any number of other things you may enjoy Tom's channel. He is probably best described as "The Moderator" of the group, much like a tired teacher he tries desperately to keep everyone on track with what they're meant to be doing, but usually it does not end well for him. Then we have Matt Gray (space top, holding an ice cream) who also has a channel away from TechDif stuff, he does techy electronic things and has a series called 'Will it Soft Serve?' where he puts all kinds of strange things through a soft serve machine. Matt brings a very specific energy to TechDif and I can't fully describe what that vibe is but I love it. Matt and Tom also share a YouTube channel where TOTPAL is posted and they had a series called 'The Park Bench'. Moving on to everybody's favourite Gary Brannan: Gary Brannan (SATIRE hoodie, glasses) and can I just say, what a fella he is! He's just excellent! He is the one that will argue and rip into Tom the most (not in a malicious way) and hilarity ensues. There are some episodes where he is absolutely on it, getting all the points and others where he very clearly has no idea and that's where some of his funniest quotes come from. Given how badly I was doing at the time I made this, his response to it on Twitter was so so lovely. I specifically remember one tweet where he said I'd made him happy and although it was probably a flippant comment, it just made feel alright for a bit. Yeah I might be feeling awful right now, but I've made someone else happy so that's a nice feeling. Then last but certainly not least, we have Chris Joel (buffalo check shirt, beard)! I would be lying if I said he isn’t my favourite... His sense of humor is the one I vibe with most, he can get rather dramatic in parts and can chat bollocks like a champion. He has absolutely no online presence away from TechDif and, like Rens from Temples, I fully believe he’s a cryptid and lives off in a tree somewhere. 

The picture took me about 4 days to complete, well 4 nights because I did most of it between the hours of 12 a.m. and 7a.m. - I remember watching the sun come through my window each morning. It’s made up of lots of little pieces, all cut out and stuck on; even the sky and hills are made of separate pieces of paper. Nothing was actually drawn on the piece of paper it’s all stuck on, it’s not how I usually do things but if I messed up one little but I could just redraw it rather than ruining the whole thing. The most tedious parts to make were Chris’ shirt because I had to draw each square individually and then join the as well, and cutting out the ban-hammer in the bottom right was surprisingly hard. Every single detail of the picture is a reference to the podcast/shows, I still have the plan sketch and reference list knocking about somewhere. I listened to a lot of true crime videos while making it to the point that certain parts remind me of different cases: the brandy now reminds me of Peter Tobin, and the big spiral thing reminds me of Tim McLean (very harrowing case) - sorry that fact is a bit morbid but interesting nonetheless. 

I did post this for a little bit back in July, but I received some rather awful messages so I took it down. Generally, Tom Scott/TechDif fans are lovely but there’s been a few that have taken a disliking to me for some reason so I’m hoping they don’t resurface again. I’m in a better head space now though, so even if they do I’m more equipped to deal with it this time.

Hozier

This was a quick sketch I did in April, I was getting bored with lockdown and decided to summon the bog man himself. There’s not really much more backstory than that, no poor mental health story, no fun twitter story - he’s just here. He’s vibing. I will say I’m particularly proud of his nose, I just think it’s one of the best noses I’ve ever drawn. His hand is okay, but I think that the hands on my Conchúr drawings are better. So there is the Hozi-Boi...

The Corpse Bry

I’ve talked about Bry on here before as well, I love him, he’s excellent, top lad. He is a living Tim Burton character, he’s 6′6, very skinny, and his legs are longer than my will to live. I was watching ‘The Corpse Bride’ a few weeks ago and suddenly had an idea and so ‘The Corpse Bry’ came to be. I gave him a little panda friend because the panda has always been his animal - he used to wear a panda beanie all the time and his album had a panda on the cover. Again, there’s not really a fun story behind this one, I guess it’s somewhat fun because it’s the first art I made after finishing my psychology exams in October so it was nice to actually have the time to draw.

James Bagshaw

Ginger talking about Temples for the third post in a row? it’s more likely than you think! I did this one last week, I’d had a bit of a wobbly day and had group therapy on Teams in the evening and I just couldn’t concentrate on what was going on and I ended up doodling Mr James E. Bagshaw, the glitter crying fraggle man himself. It’s a bare-bones drawing that I could definitely work into more but I’m happy with it as it is to be honest. I’ll be damned if I’m going to sit and add the individual bits of fringe to his jacket, just thinking about doing that makes me tired. Maybe I’ll get around to drawing the whole band at some point...

Alice in “Wonderland”

This one is from about 5(?) years ago, it’s not my typical style and was a “study” based on another artists work (basically i just had to copy this fellas work). I’ll be honest, this one has a sketchy backstory that I won’t go in to because it’s not exactly a nice one, and because of that I also won’t say who the artist is that it’s based on. Despite this, I’m still really proud of this one and I’m so sad that I never got this piece back after I got taken out the class. I’ve considered trying this style again, I’ve even joked about doing another Conchúr drawing in this style as a nod to my progression through GCSE art, eventually leading to Conchúr drawn in ink on music manuscript and stained with neon paint and dyes - it would be quite the project!

So this has been quite a lengthy post so apologies about that but life goes on. Similar to the vinyl post, I’ll probably add to this as and when I make more art. Even if no one is reading these posts, I’m enjoying making them so that’s the main thing. It’s just nice to document things and the feelings that go with them. 💕

~ Love Ginger xx 

29/11/2020

[hardforbenhardy]

somebody to love pt.2 | rogerxreader

warnings: fluff, sad vibes a lil, smallest tiniest inference of sex (blink and you’ll miss it)

word count: 4.1k

part 2 of somebody to love is here! it’s going a little slow, but i promise, we will get some roger/reader action next chapter!!

taglist: @jennyggggrrr

It is finally Monday, the day you've been dreading all weekend after the little... incident. Your minds been clouded with thoughts of what Roger may do, you could barely spend time with your Ma and Pa the whole of yesterday. Not to mention, they were kind of disappointed at the fact you didn't have the money to pay for their water bills. You’re pulled from your dreams by the blaring sound of your alarm from your bedside table, a groan releasing from your lips as you push yourself from the comfort of your silk sheets. You can hear Freddie's angelic voice soaring through the apartment as he sings along to the radio; it's like waking up to the melodic tunes of birds outside your window, but better. You quickly got dressed, knowing you don't have a lot of time before you need to be in school, and run down stairs to grab a snack from the kitchen. Freddie notices you, but instead of saying anything, he just gave you a huge grin and a thumbs up as a form of motivation. It's strange how Freddie is able to light up any room he is in, if only you had that ability, you may actually have friends. Not that you don't like your life already- sure it has its rather larger downsides, but you like spending time by yourself; it's calming, you don't have to rely on people and most importantly people don't have to rely on you. It's just, you’re fucking lonely. That's it basically. Everyone your age is in relationships, or sleeping around, or at least getting it on with someone in more than a friendship kind of way - and you’re just not. You wander through the university campus to class, which starts in 10 minutes, and you see couples cuddling and/or making out; large groups of friends laughing and having fun; the sport teams having a large football match on the field; the drama club sitting around to learn their scripts; even the music club playing their instruments to mildly entertain passers by such as you (which in fact, it is much more irritating than it is entertaining at 9 in the morning). Everyone seems so active and full of joy, and then there's you. You don't know why you’re so separated from everyone else, you've just always been like this. You remember on the first day of secondary school, you were sat alone the whole day; no one sat with you, spoke to you, no one even knew your name - you were known as "that weird girl" for the first 3 months of your education, until the teacher finally picked on you to present in class and you had to start by saying your name. You liked it then if you were being honest, you didn't have to reach anyone's expectations and you certainly weren’t a victim of peer pressure - but now it just makes you feel like a piece of shit. Sure, you have Freddie, but it's not exactly much is it. You just wish you had someone who would love you for you and actually want to spend time with you; is that so much to ask for?

As you entered the dry lab, you noticed that everyone was there but one person in particular. Roger. Fuck sake, where is he? You went to sit in your secluded seat, in the corner of the room, praying to God Roger wasn't in today at all and he had bunked off. Your racing thoughts were interrupted by Mrs. Smith raising her voice:

"Okay, class, instead of a test, we are doing a small practical today - it doesn't go towards anything, but it is important we understand the skills and can therefore apply it to any furt-" And with that, Roger burst through the door, panting and wheezing like he had just ran a mile. "Ah, Mister Taylor, late again are we? Look, if you want to get your degree, I suggest you buckle down and get here on time - this isn't an easy course and I'm not going to teach you if this is how you treat it"

"Sorry, my um, my car broke down and I had to run to school" Roger heaved, placing both his hands on his knees as he faced the ground and took in long hard breaths. Droplets of sweat glided down his forehead as he attempted to catch his breath, and you couldn't help but admire the way it framed his face; his hair still scraggly from sleep, and his clothes slightly torn from what you presumed was multiple trips when running. He looked strangely sexy. Fuck. Why were you thinking like this? But it's true... his voice was raspy and choked, from the running - but you can only imagine that's what he always sounds like when he's exhausted. When else might he be exhausted? God, you could only imagine his voice whispering into my ears after a long, hard -

"Do you mind love?" - you were pulled from your daydream, looking up to see him stood there, staring at the empty seat beside you. Your heart began to beat at an irregular pace. Why is he talking to you? Why is he sitting next to you? Did he just call you love? Does he recognise you? Is this some kind of sick joke to him? "Oh- uh, n-no" you stuttered, struggling to even form a simple sentence after your overwhelming wave of emotions which had just washed over you. He threw his briefcase on the floor beside him; pulling out his folder, which was half the size of yours, making you wonder whether Roger actually takes notes in this class or rather it's all just stored in that incredible brain of his. God he is so smart. And sometimes, like today, he has to wear his glasses in class if he forgets his sunglasses, which perfectly frame his face; they make him look so fucking sexy. OMG what the fuck is going on with you?! "Uh- uhm, why are you sitting next to me?" you barely choked out, trying to take your mind off the whole... Roger's incredibly overwhelming persona.

"Prof said we are partnered for this practical, love" He explained, tone still deep and stifled although his breathing has began to go back to normal. You could sense an awkward tension between the two of you the moment he sat down; you knew this was a bad idea and you knew you should've just bunked off. As he began to prepare the equipment for the practical, you couldn't help but stare at his face; his eyes clouded over as he bites his bottom lip from utter concentration. "See something you like?"

He lifted his head, smirking in your direction after you snap out of my trance; you had been staring at him while chewing on the end of your pen. "Oh- uhh, sorry. Sorry. Nice glasses" you panicked, swiftly turning your head in the other direction, until you heard a chuckle and a small 'thanks' come from beside you- which you were instantly able to recognise as Rogers, considering he was the only person who has sat next to you in the past few months on this course. The suspense in the atmosphere only got heightened with every second going past, and you couldn't bare to sit here anymore. "Look, I know you saw me on Saturday. I don't know if you've sat here to tease me or take the piss or whatever but I'm not in the fucking mood- I'm surviving off 3 hours sleep and 5 coffees so if you're not even going to talk to me about what you saw, then you can piss off"

Roger doesn't say anything to respond, and instead just looked at you with a semblance of speechlessness, as if he's trying to conjure up a sentence in which he won't offend or make things more awkward than they already are - failing of course as he eventually comes out with "Y-you have nice moves". You felt your cheeks immediately blush, getting redder and redder; although his words sent chills down your spine, you couldn't let it show.

"What the fuck Roger!" you exclaimed, slapping his arm harder than you originally intended, as he acknowledged it with a sharp 'ow' and quickly reached to rub the now-red area as a way of soothing it. "Sorry . But seriously, you can't tell anyone. Please. If you do, my life will be fucking ruined and I plan on actually doing something with it and if people fin-"

"Y/N, I'm not going to tell anyone." He quickly retorted, making your head turn to face him as a sudden feeling of shock ran through you. Why wouldn't he tell people? "R-really?!" you spluttered, the words barely reaching the surrounding.

"Why would I tell people?"

"Erm, because it's not exactly a thing I should be proud of and you could ruin my life with it and that's kind of what you popular kids do, not to mention you probably think I'm a slut or something because of it" you mumbled, shying away from making any form of eye contact with him. Mainly because the atmosphere is getting increasingly more awkward by the second, but also because you can't deny; you could stare into his eyes all day and I'm afraid if you start you may not be able to stop.

"I'm not that much of a dickhead, love. I don't know why you have... that job, but I'm not going to go around spreading your personal shit."

"Right, sorry. Thank you." you let a fake smile grow on your face, and once noticing him return a wide grin - it became a real one. There was a small moment of silence before you asked one question that had undoubtedly been on my mind all weekend; "W-what were you actually doing there? There are never any lads younger than 30 in that place"

"Oh, erm, I was meant to meet a girl there"

"For a date? You were going to take a girl on a date to a strip club" you emphasised, trying your hardest not to laugh loudly at the idiocy of the Rogers idea of a good date.

"Yeah. But I didn't know it was a strip club - she was the one who gave me the address and told me to meet her there. But she never showed." He explained, with a small sadness to his tone. You felt a pang of guilt and empathy wash over you as he spoke, understand completely how it feels to be stood up; it has happened on multiple occasions and you've basically accepted it's your destiny to be alone by now. "Oh, I'm sorry. She sounds like a bitch"

"She kind of was - I only agreed to the date because she was a good shag" Roger muttered under his breath, most likely hoping you didn't hear him; but you did. You almost choked at his statement, but really you just feel a little shit. You know, of course, Roger is what some might call a 'ladies man'; but the idea of him sleeping around isn't something you keep on your mind because you let it get to you. You say you'd like to be one of those girls, but honestly, you don't just want to be a one time shag that Roger has before moving onto the next. Which is exactly the reason you had originally attempted to push all the feelings you had for Roger deep, deep down - but of course they can't stay down for long, because as soon as Roger walked in the room, you had fallen all over again. And before you knew it, it was the end of the session. Which meant you'd now have to go to the library for the next 4 hours, sitting by yourself and reading over your notes for the hundredth time, pretending like you didn't just want to scrap all your work and quit. As you began to pack my stuff away, you heard Roger cough beside me - in the kind of way that says he's asking for your attention. "Hey, Y/N?"

"Yeah?"

"Erm, I'm performing at Imperial tonight, would you maybe want to come along? I understand if you're busy or something, I mean you are always studying, not that that's a bad thing but I understand if you can't come, I just thought you could do with some fun and I think you're a really nice girl and I wanted to hang out some more you know- but like I said, you don't have to come, you're probably super busy so" Roger muttered, looking to the floor whilst twiddling his thumbs; nerves prominent in his tone. A wide grin grew on your face as he spoke; he wanted to hang out.

"I'd love to - like you said, I could do with a night out that doesn't involve biology in any form." you smiled, as Rogers head shoots up and he gives you a smile that just seems so genuinely sweet with just the right touch of shyness that unexpected warmth rushed through you. He threw his bag over his shoulder, before heading out; you following shortly after. "So, what do you mean by performing?"

"Oh, well I'm in a band with some of my mates, it's nothing much. We play every Sunday and Monday night." He explained, hands in his jean pockets as he walked me home. Slightly stunned by his admission, you looked up at him before asking "What do you play then?"

"Oh, I'm the drummer"

And with that, you were frozen in your place as you stood in shock at the new revelation. Roger Taylor was a drummer? Your eyes widened and your mouth fell ajar at the unfamiliar thought, your mind trying to comprehend such information. Not only is Roger Taylor smoking hot, super kind (well, he seemed) AND incredibly intelligent - but he also plays the drums? Just when you thought he possibly couldn't get any more attractive, he goes and pulls this out of the bag. Roger notices your sudden halting, and turns to look at you with a confused face; "Hey, you okay? You need help?" He cautioned, the worry prominent in his tone, snapping you out of the trance you were in.

"What? Oh, yeah, sorry, just got lost in my thoughts" you chuckled, looking towards the ground as embarrassment grew on your cheeks, pacing forward to catch up with Roger who was at least 5 steps in front of you. "Penny for your thoughts?"

"Huh?" you questioned, furrowing your brows as your head shot up to face. If he was now going to make you come up with a fake thought in less than five seconds, you think you may just freak out, because there is no way you can explain to him that you fancy him and therefore was dreaming about the absolute charmer he was. "Penny for your thoughts - what you thinking about?"

Fuck.

"What are we, 5 years old?" you giggled, putting a sharp facade of humour when you knew deep down your brain was racking for something, anything that may sound at least an inch better than 'I think I may love you'.

"Come on, I can tell something's bothering you. You can trust me you know - I thought I'd have proven that by now"

"I just... why are you talking to me?" you sputter out, it being the first thing to come to your head.

"What on earth do you mean?"

"I mean, why are you even associating yourself with me - I'm the weird loner who sits in the back of class, who no one talks to, or even looks at, who has one friend and has a job as a stripper. I'm not stupid Roger, I know people don't want to associate themselves with the 'quiet' girl, so why are you?" you ranted, finally releasing a long breath after venting, feeling tears pricked your eyes as you realised you were now facing your actual reality. Why was Roger suddenly trying to be your friend? "I mean, was this some kind of dare? Or have you decided you want to add me to your list of sexual escapades because don't think I haven't noticed you've only started talking to me after seeing me strip. Or do you just want to cheat your way through the course, hoping I'll end up doing your work for you?"

You stopped after hearing a small chuckle from beside you, and looked to see Rogers face sporting a little grin, clearly amused by you. "Do you know what, just fuck off. Forget about tonight, I'm leaving" you raged, beginning to storm away as anger boiled inside you at Rogers apparent sense of humour, or lack thereof. He seriously found this funny, whilst you stood here, opening up feelings you would never usually share to anyone apart from Freddie. You tended to struggle opening up about your emotions to people, unless you have a decent amount of wine in my system to flush away the shame that is. Instead, you keep them buried deep down, and you know they're bound to erupt one day- you have a slight feeling today might just be the day. You were halted in your motion as the tight grasp of a hand clutched onto your wrist, causing you to stumble back. "No, wait, Y/N m'sorry! I wasn't laughing at you, I promise."

His apologetic tone rang in your ears, tears threatening to roll down your cheeks once again as you realised how pathetic you were actually being. "The fuck were you laughing at then, 'cause I don't see any fucking clowns wandering 'round here"

"I-I, I wasn't laughing at you! I just, well, I don't really have a reason- why do I need a reason? You are super cool and you seem nice, I just wanted to get to know you."

"You still didn't answer my question." you grumbled, pouting your lips out as you dropped your head to face the floor; your cheeks beginning to redden at the idea that Roger just wanted to get to know you. No one ever just wanted to get to know you; there was always a reason. They would use you to up their grade a little; they would feel sorry for you because you’re a fucking loner; they would attempt to be friendly in hopes of getting you into their bed for the night. That was admittedly the worst one, considering it was the most common. You have never had a true friend, let alone boyfriend, so you can certainly count on yourself to be the biggest virgin gracing this earth. You'd think having a job which was in that kind of area, you’d be basically the opposite; but you agreed with yourself when you started the job that if there was one thing you would never ever turn to, it'd be sleeping with the men in the club. Not only were they almost twice my age, but they weren't exactly the most graceful, gentlemanly men you'll ever meet. Not that Roger was any more chivalrous, from what you'd heard, but at least you were the same age and you actually know him. Though you may be completely conflicting personalities; you being a quiet, reserved, and overall anxious character and Roger being one of loud, adventurous, energetic tendencies; they say opposites attract... right?

"Okay, well, maybe I was laughing at you - but not in a bad way. I was just thinking, you are kind of cute when you are angry y'know" Roger confessed, trying to come off as if he was confident and almost flirty in his words, but you swear you saw his teeth grind from nerves as he spoke.You began to feel your cheeks flush at his simplistically adorable words. "I swear to god, Roger Taylor, if you are trying to flirt with me - I will walk away right now" you giggled, poking his chest a little harder than you expected, gaining a laugh from Roger too. As the laughter died down, you realised you had reached yours and Freddie's flat already, and you still had hours to kill until tonight.

"Erm, this is my block" you muttered, pointing to the entrance of the block of flats you were slowly approaching.

"I know - we live in the same block." He chuckled, opening the door and standing against it, his arm gesturing you to walk through. Maybe he was a gentleman? "Thank you. How come I never see you around the block?"

"I don't know - I've seen you around a few times, usually when you are going out in the evening; presumably to work. I mean, you are always in the library"

"I guess." you chuckled, beginning to walk up the steps to the third floor, where your flat resided. Roger followed swiftly behind, attempting to catch up with you. There was silence as you walked up the stairs; but it wasn't the uncomfortable kind of silence. It was more the kind where you just enjoy each others company in the moment. The better kind. Once you had reached your apartment door, Roger stopped, almost as if he knew where it was without even asking. You didn't bother to question how he knew which flat you lived in, and instead just began unlocking the door.

"I'll, erm, I guess I'll see you tonight? Meet me backstage once we finished our set?" He asked, leaning on his side against the entrance banister. You looked up, but continued turning the key in the lock with movement memory, swiftly taking the key out the lock and opening the door to walk through. "Yeah, of course. You don't mind if I bring Freddie with me do you? He loves a night out"

"Fred's your roommate right? Yeah, sure" He nodded, twiddling his thumbs together. You swear you heard him sigh and possibly roll his eyes at your suggestion, but you gave him a quick smile, as if to say 'see you tonight' before closing the door behind yourself and releasing a loud sigh. As soon as you had locked it, you slid down the wooden door letting out a muffled scream into the bundled coat now in your lap. You could hear Freddie's steps approaching you from the living room, quick paced with urgency. "You alright, darling?"

"Fucking amazing Fred" You grinned, the pace of your heart gradually decreasing again after its irregular habits when you were with Roger.

"I suspect it has something to do with the fact that I heard the one and only Roger Taylor's voice as you walked in the door?" He chuckled, finding your lustful infatuation merely a piece of comedy for his entertainment. "So where is it you are taking me for a night out then?"

"Roger invited me out to the Imperial, he's performing with his band - He plays the drums, Fred. I thought he was already an angel but then he reveals he's a fucking drummer too. Fred, I think I may just suffer a heart attack if I spend even one more second around him."

"So Roger invited you out? And you asked if I could come along? I think your brain has finally fizzled out, love. Are you completely insane?"

"I don't want to die. And I'm sure it'll happen if I have to spend any more time with him alone." you sighed, your heart beating out your chest at the mere thought of spending time with Roger by yourselves. God, how am you meant to cope in a relationship with him when you can barely even hold a conversation. "I said I'd meet him backstage after their set, so we should leave around 8? What should I wear? I don't own any nice clothes Fred! All my clothes are baggy jumpers and joggers - ugh Fred take me shopping!"

"You know I can't turn down a shopping spree darling, grab your shoes and coat!" Freddie exclaimed, making you chuckle under your breath at his extravagance. He held out his hand, which you hesitantly took into line, and yanked you up from your previously comfortable position you found for yourself on the floor. You pulled on your boots and coat, wrapping your scarf around your neck to accommodate for the autumn weather outside. Fred told you of a store just a 10 minute walk from the flat, which was his favourite shop to buy clothes in; Biba. He had never really mentioned the store until a few days back, after going to a small gig by himself. You just remember him coming home relatively sober and with a look of infatuation growing on his face and in his eyes. He never really talks about what happened that night - you just presumed he'd maybe had a good hookup.

[nomand-berserka]

A little openly honest abridged intro in to me and dealing with my head and my black dog.

I am the newly appointed Team Leader for West Yorkshire with the guys at Veterans Hike. @veteranshike

Ive found a love for hiking over the past few months, since this crazy lockdown here in the UK.

I have struggled a lot over the years since leaving the Army, still dont feel like I fit into the bracket called Civvie. I know that may sound a little cliche. But it is exactly what it is.

I joined the forces straight from school. There was nothing for me where I lived, and with a long proud military history in my family, I felt it's what I'd always wanted and knew in my early to mid teens, that I'd join up.

I felt I did pretty well, considering pretty much everyone I knew, thought that I wouldnt even make it past selection. Well I pissed on their parade let me tell ya.

I'm not going to go into the ins and out of my career. But the tours I did, were SFOR (peacekeeping) Bosnia 98 and Op Agricola Kosovo 99.

Now with that, I've seen some pretty fkd up stuff at the ages of 18 and 19.. But you crack on and get the job the done. Get back home and continue as normal.

Now upon leaving the Army, I felt very lost. Ended up going from job to job, due to not being able to fit in with or liking the people I worked with. Often getting pushed out because of having a different mindset... This turned into a serious dislike for people in general. There was no bond, no brotherhood, everyone out for themselves and didnt care who they fkd over to get what they wanted.

This became the time I started with the heavy drinking and the stupid violence, infact the drink and the violence became the reason I lost my family and almost ended up 6 feet under.

The violence continued, as I just hated everyone... for lots of different reasons. This then led to me serving time on a couple of occasions. But it still continued after being locked up... I didnt see it as a problem, as I just thought "I wont take peoples shit", and I'll show anyone who tries to give me shit. That it will lead to getting hurt. Jump forward to being left for dead with 2 stab wounds... Yes it got that bad. Maybe I was asking for my way out?

Jump forward a year or so of living a dark time.

Its then i got into martial arts (Muay Thai under the tutilage of master Ronnie Green 5 time world champion), a friend of mine didnt want to see me locked up again. Or with more perforations than a "Tetley Tea bag". This became my drive again, I'd found something I could focus on and put myself, my whole self into again.

First session in, I was hooked. Had my first full contact fight at just over 6 months and had plenty thereafter, still have the copy of my official invite to the 2013 world championships. This was my crowing glory moment... This is where I'd found the focus to not be that drunked violent ass hat. My fitness went through the roof and I felt good again for the first time in years

Injury got me though, put me right back to not being able to train. Even ended my career, I tried to train again, but way too soon. Causing myself more problems. Taking even longer to get back to 100%

My anger started to creep back, the bad food the drinking... and yes the violence. then jump again forward to going back to prison for a very violent episode in 2015. Where 2 people got badly hurt. I pleaded guilty. I tried to reach out for help before the day in court. But it was too little too late...

However, in prison this time in 2016 I asked for help. Where can i get it, and who can help me the most.. There was a small eager group called Care after Combat, they concentrate on helping Veterans, who are sent to prison. During and after release. (I'll go into them at a later date).

I've kept my nose clean since then, was officially Dignosed with PTSD in 2017, so done a few local therapy courses Anger Management, CBT but still no actual PTSD help as of yet. Combat Stress, I think may have forgotten about me hahaha.

But the thought of prison!!!! id rather not go back ever again. Plus I'm getting on now, and not a 25 year old dick head. Eith a chip on his shoulder about civvies anymore.

Jump forward again, to present Covid 19 times.

I'm a joiner now put myself through College 12 years ago. The outdoors have always agreed with me. But after a work accident last year in August I had 14 weeks sat at home gaining weight. Bordem drinking and eating shit and the head started to go again. But thankfully got back to work early December.

In March 2020 and we get Furloughed. For however long it may take.

So I gave myself THE talking to. Stay off the booze (well not completely hehe). Keep yourself busy. Find a focus in something, anything. Just dont he that dickhead again.

So here I am, I spend at least 3 days a week walking the Pennines and the moors between my beloved Yorkshire and the dark soggy lands of Lancahire. Its literally 20 minutes from my door to where I park the motor. My head still goes south, but more into the low mood and hating myself for allowing what I'd done in the past. I've had depression for years, but it was always over shadowed by my stupidity. So when it does that, i hit my local park and do 10 laps (8 miles) of that. Or just get my pack ready and hit the trails. Often doing around 15-20 miles.

Now I've started with a small Daystack and have started adding weight, carring 15kg. plus 3 litre camelback, food stuff and inclement weather gear. Its north of England the weather does what it wants. "If tha dunt lyk weather, jus bloody wait 20 minutes It'l change". hahaha.

Doing this has given me more drive in my fitness and massively boosted my mental state. Plus the escape from the rat race bollox that we all have to live through. More and more people have started to notice my weight loss. Down from 20 stone to just over 17 stone. Now I'm as round as I am tall, but for a fat lad I've been told I'm pretty fit... Guess all those years in the Army, years of Muay Thai and Kempo Jiu Jitsu. It must have left some form of conditioning and muscle memory. So this again boosts me. I'm now picking up the weights at home and even got a bike... so this new found fitness is a fantastic feeling again... it's not just about keeping busy anymore, it's about showing people. Who I'd alienated during all these years, that I'm not the same guy, and they are wanting to come on hikes with me now

(Its also pushed me to train for the 3 peaks... but that's another story for another time)

It's also the biggest Therapy I can give myself, sometimes I go it alone and sometimes I have company. The outdoors is literally where I feel at my easiest and most peaceful... The benefits are there for everyone who knows me, to see. Its physically demanding, but it's so peaceful. If I bump into other people, there is always a nod a smile and a "morning/afternoon" exchanged. Not all people are nob heads haha!

I cant stress enough how good it feels to keep occupied physically and mentally, buy doing something I never thought I'd do...

It's become my passion... I'm looking into longer routes all the time, and now looking at some proper outdoors gear. Better rucksack even a tent. If being up the hills for a few hours or just a day, makes me feel things are better. Then surely a couple of days and nights will be even better...Right?

I want to thank anyone who takes the time to reads this, however you see it. Be it on insta, Tumbler or FB. So cheers guys and gals.

We all have hardships, we all need that help at some point. Go out and find what makes it all better, please guys. We all deserve to smile for what ever reason.

Who knows, we may even cross trails someday. You'll always get a smile and a nod from me.

Steve

The Nomad Beserka

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: [okay so my thought is that like maybe he's been sorting out a Cass rage because he's actually going to this festival and she's fuming about it for obvious reasons but then he comes back and Janis is thinking that Harry might show up cos had that convo with Grace so she's being weird and he's like ?] Janis: [solid plan, awks all 'round, just tryna play off you've been busy whilst he's been arguing like oh hi, definitely didn't hear any of that 'alright?'] Jimmy: [just going for a 🚬 immediately because he's obvs not alright] Janis: fair Janis: they could take a few tips, like Jimmy: gutted they don't know where I live then Jimmy: for that and loads of other reasons, like Janis: naturally Janis: such good craic, who wouldn't want them popping over for a cuppa Jimmy: hot water and 🍋 is nearer to the order they'd put in Janis: do you charge for that at CG? Janis: probably a couple of euro, still Jimmy: put a fancy name on it and you can charge for owt Janis: they're stupid enough to buy it Janis: we're definitely getting them the cheapest paint-thinner vodka, yeah Jimmy: what do you want? 🍾? Janis: 🙄 deffo Janis: any +1s I can get Jimmy: such a celebration 🙌 Janis: everyone's feeling it Janis: we might not end up going anyway Jimmy: what? Janis: you know, fuck knows where they're all at with it Janis: 🤞 I've convinced Grace she has to though Jimmy: fuck's sake Jimmy: whose idea were this? obvs a right dickhead Janis: yeah Janis: if we don't bottle it she can't Janis: tried her best but Jimmy: bottle her before I stay here Janis: you gotta be hot about it Janis: rude Jimmy: 😎🚬 Jimmy: come sit with me Janis: you sure Jimmy: you don't wanna? Janis: just thinking if there's any more shit news I have to give you before I do Jimmy: is there? Janis: I dunno Janis: you given any thought to who Mia's mystery guest could be Jimmy: I reckon that 🏌 trip her daddy's on might be #fake Janis: that'd make it all worth it Janis: none of us are that 🍀 Jimmy: or she's choosing now to come out with her 🤞 you will an' all Janis: shut up Janis: you're meant to think Asia is irreplaceable Jimmy: duh Jimmy: I know I'm #blessed Janis: you're the only one Jimmy: 😏 Janis: we all know Mia isn't surprising her with lizard boy Jimmy: or 🐸 from previous Janis: if we're doing a this is your life of her exes, she'll need a bus Jimmy: Alright, no need to make me jealous Jimmy: can't be arsed with the green emojis Janis: you can't be Janis: very #ungoals Janis: they're all massive slags and proud Janis: 'cept #2, who wouldn't and Tammy who couldn't Jimmy: Holly's a good name, bit prickly her Jimmy: the marding and the hair regrowth Janis: 😂 Janis: so mean Jimmy: did have to laugh when princess Ella were like mime to a sad song about it Janis: no doubt being favourite got her cocky but her comebacks were better Jimmy: wonder who'll be fave by the time we get there Janis: not her, if Holly made good on her threat Jimmy: bloody musical thrones Jimmy: could be on telly Janis: 🙄 don't say that Janis: already think they're interesting enough to film it Jimmy: I get it, that's only us, eh babe? 😏 Janis: duh Janis: why it weren't hard to 👑👑 Jimmy: pissed on my 💍 proposal, still fuming Janis: me and all Janis: chat about not getting sarcasm, you know Asia's gonna come at me with a Pinterest moodboard moment Janis: tah so much Jimmy: proper 💕 that girl Janis: mm Jimmy: leaning on your phone cos you're 🗭 about 💍👰 Jimmy: very #goals that Janis: not gonna waste any time dreaming when it's SO real am I Jimmy: you don't want a 🌠 to have a go on then? Jimmy: loads out here Janis: what a totally believable coincidence Janis: guess I better Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [coming out like oh hey] Jimmy: [patting the doorstep he's sitting on like have a seat] Janis: [doing it but raising a brow like 😏 'you gonna give me my annual report or something?'] Jimmy: ['that what you're after from me, is it?' 😏 'loads of long words'] Janis: [shrugs 'asking if you were gonna punish me seemed cliche so'] Jimmy: [a little lol] Janis: [nudges him, not in a shut up way but a how're you way] Jimmy: [puts his head on her shoulder cos not alright so gotta be OTT about it] Janis: [strokes his hair 'we don't have to go, you know, if you need to stay here...they're perfectly capable of tearing themselves apart in the meantime'] Jimmy: [makes an unimpressed noise cos can't admit that he wants to go to be with her or get into how he always needs to stay here whether he likes it or not] Janis: [smushes his face 'alright, grumpy'] Jimmy: [pushing her off but then pulling her into you at the same time as if you're not already close af to each other] Janis: ['what do you wanna do?' soft] Jimmy: [kisses her because that's always what he wants to do even though we all know that's not what she meant] Janis: [allowing it though 'cos same] Jimmy: [just a nice little make out moment to lose ourselves in and forget everything else] Janis: [you really deserve it] Jimmy: ['do you wanna go?' we know the answer is no but] Janis: ['any chance to fuck with them is a good idea, yeah' 'cos wasn't a bad one, just ehh 'cos of this Harry thing and Cass going off] Jimmy: [nods like that's that settled then cos god forbid you offer your own opinion boy] Janis: ['plus, we get to have our own tent'] Jimmy: ['there's nowt you could say or do to convince me to go if we didn't' sounds like such a challenge lol] Janis: ['stop tryna make me feel special, boy' 😏] Jimmy: ['wouldn't be very goals of me, that'] Janis: [makes face like, gutted] Jimmy: [shamelessly just touching her face nbd] Janis: [looking awayayay] Jimmy: [when that devastates you but there's nothing you can say or do because everything's so casual and so only sexual yep] Janis: [just resting your head on his shoulder now 'cos drama] Jimmy: [playing with her hair in the softest way because of course] Janis: ['what are you gonna wear then?' 'cos we're definitely all thinking about our #lewks rn] Jimmy: [such a surprised lol because not what he expected her to say obvs] Janis: ['this isn't a laughing matter' in some semblance of a Mia impression] Jimmy: [when it's probably pretty accurate so you flinch like oh no I hate that] Janis: [loling evilly, 'not doing Asia for you, get over it'] Jimmy: [💔 hands even though it means you have to stop playing with her hair for a sec] Janis: ['bitch' who we referring to here] Jimmy: [nudges her like oi cos assuming she means him] Janis: ['what you gonna do about it?' 😏] Jimmy: [playfight cos it's been a minute] Janis: ['not going to apologize to her'] Jimmy: ['if not that, what is the plan?'] Janis: [🤔 face] Jimmy: [hiding his 😍 by looking at the imaginary watch like any time you're ready] Janis: [nudges him like alright, alright 'how can we make the divide even bigger? need to get them to fight again, which really shouldn't be hard'] Jimmy: ['your sister and the tall one are already about to snap, no challenge there, if we really want to fuck her over we need to get her ultimate fave on side' shrugs because that's always the mood] Janis: ['yeah, but they always roll over, that's the problem, we have to kick it up that notch so they all go beyond that...I just don't know how, ditto what we can give that one that Mia can't, like' shrugs back] Jimmy: [gets his phone and shows her that he's messaging Asia like he really wants her boyfriend there for the lad bants because that's an easy given to annoy Mia] Janis: ['I think she's invited Harry, or she wants me to think she has or- I don't fucking know but I don't think he'll come anyway' when you just blurt that out in response 'cos as good a time as any] Jimmy: [such a look like wtf cos god knows what he'll say if he blurts something out rn cos so 😒] Janis: ['the way she didn't say...they basically give each other measurements and a star-rating usually so- don't you reckon she was trying to get at us?' shrugs like could be wrong but we all know it ain't] Jimmy: [when you get up because you know she's right and you're fuming honey] Janis: ['I know' but also like ?! reaction you can't hide] Jimmy: [he literally has no words for how fucked up this all is and how much he can't stand Mia so just the biggest sigh to ever have existed] Janis: ['there's no way he'll come, bet she ain't even asked'] Jimmy: ['that's alright then' bit of sarcasm for you there Ella lol] Janis: ['Well, ain't it?'] Jimmy: [😒 af face] Janis: ['she's a cunt, we've known that'] Jimmy: [sitting back down where you were but you're not chill at all] Janis: [getting him another 🚬 and then herself] Jimmy: [furiously 🚬 while he's trying to think of ways to fuck Mia over] Janis: sorry Jimmy: shut up Janis: well I am Jimmy: [just looking at her like don't] Janis: [shrugs like fine but is just jogging her leg up and down 'cos not cool with this and has been thinking about it since the chat] Jimmy: [puts his hand on said leg like stop it's okay] Janis: ['he's so-' lacking the words or adequately hardcore 😒 face for him] Jimmy: ['he's nowt we can't handle' but so genuinely said not like ha we're so 🥇 bants] Janis: ['we shouldn't have to, you especially but still, it's bullshit'] Jimmy: [shrugs but looking at her 'I said you're worth sticking around for, didn't I?' because everything is bullshit or worse in jimothy's life rn we know so to say that and mean it is a LOT 'not gonna change my mind 'cause of him, her or any other knobheads'] Janis: ['I-' when you can't even begin to say anything that you think matches what he's just said remotely so you just falter but the LOOK is everything] Jimmy: ['it'll be alright' said like even if it's not it still will be because he literally only cares about her so he'll make sure it is] Janis: [nods and squeezes his hand 'fuck 'em all'] Jimmy: [draws the heart with their initials in on her hand with his fingertip pressing harder than usual for emphasis and obvs using the hand she's not holding so he doesn't have to let go because they in this together and such a good team and not because he loves her or anything nope] Janis: ['draw blood or it didn't happen, baby' bravado to cover the real as hell 😳] Jimmy: [taking the invitation to do a new lovebite because we all need that distraction before shit gets any feelsier] Janis: [lean into the sex of it all kids 'cos we don't need to fake any of that to still be real[ Jimmy: [lowkey love that you're on the doorstep still] Janis: [bonjour neighbours, Ian will be thrilled and thus I am 'cos fuck you] Jimmy: [same because you make this flatwhite drama seem like a picnic sir] Janis: [true tea, like in the grand scheme of things, are we bothered] Jimmy: [he's really not we know he's only doing any of this for her and to spend time with her so] Janis: [and as much as Mia deserves payback by this point, this is all a distraction from the real mess of her life too so] Jimmy: [the truest tea] Janis: [probably do at least take this to the back lol] Jimmy: [enough people and a dog milling around to make you think someone could be about to come out of that door and convince you to move lol] Janis: [god bless] Jimmy: [take all the alone time you can get rn cos this festival is gonna be a LOT] Janis: [we know it, as much as you're low-key just like we gonna spend the whole time just 😍 at this point, 'cos fuck it, won't actually be that, soz] Jimmy: [mhmm we'll make sure Mia has a worse time but it's not gonna be all fun and games for you two] Janis: [joy of joys] Jimmy: [we should make a list of everything we wanna happen in terms of the flatwhites bs when we're done but before we start the festival fr so we can decide how to ref it] Janis: [good idea carrot] Jimmy: [cos obvs we only care how it effects jj soz not soz] Janis: [but of course, we gotta timeline the drama so we don't forget anything] Jimmy: [do we wanna now or is there anything else we wanna do in this convo?] Janis: [hmm, like she's probably gonna try and leave 'cos still in that stage of like, you don't want me to sleep over but aside from that moment, we can probs get going on the plan] Jimmy: [we could always bring out the big guns because Ian isn't gonna want him to go either but like obvs don't wanna go too hard with that before they go for a million reasons] Janis: [we can deffo do that afterwards, like they've already had a time then Ian is fuming, think that's better] Jimmy: [agreed because we know we're gonna do something to make the fwb awks on top of the flatwhites bs so his mood will be peak sick of Ian's shit] Janis: [gonna move her in so soon get over it sir] Jimmy: [alright in that vein how do you wanna do her trying to leave?] Janis: [like it clearly gets to tea time or something like that where she can be like, I'll leave you to it] Jimmy: [and he's like bit rude like it's all bants and she's a rich girl with fancy tastes and he's a poor boy who can't cook we know the drill] Janis: [and she's like don't be stupid 🙄 'cos gotta defend yourself even in bants] Jimmy: [and he's like now I'm thick as well, tah very much etc etc] Janis: ['just northern'] Jimmy: ['oi, keep taking my lines off me and what am I meant to say?' and a look that's nearly a LOOK because there's so much being unsaid and we all know it, them included] Janis: [mimes 🤐 but on his face not hers for closeness you simply do not need but clearly do] Jimmy: [picks her up which you're still not meant to do boy and puts her on the kitchen counter like you're staying that settles it] Janis: ['am I sous chef or the appetizer?'] Jimmy: [can't speak cos 🤐 but his 👀 are saying so much rn] Janis: [thinking he's being quiet 'cos the kids are like in the lounge or something so kinda like whooops 'dessert, maybe'] Jimmy: [still looking at her like are you gonna stay for that long because don't actually wanna say it in case she's like no] Janis: [shrugs like nbd 'no one's expecting me, like'] Jimmy: [releasing a breath you didn't know you were holding, like] Janis: [getting down off the counter like go on then, lemme help] Jimmy: [god knows what we're making but we're doing it together guys] Janis: [kissing his cheek 'cos he's cute] Jimmy: [properly kissing her because that made him die] Janis: [remember at calis in the kichen, a mood] Jimmy: [we should have one of the kids come in before they get too extra/the food is forgotten about entirely] Janis: [deffo] Jimmy: [who do you vote for cos very different vibes depending if it's Bobby or Cass lol] Janis: [we can be a bit mean and say its Cass] Jimmy: [LOL imagine her face just like don't mind me starving to death you two carry on] Janis: [not winning any points yet babe] Jimmy: [we know you will soon gal] Janis: what did your ex do? Jimmy: ? Janis: she must've done something to make your sister hate all of your 'gfs' that hard by default Janis: even if I am delaying her tea, like Jimmy: she did loads of things Janis: right Jimmy: @ either of them for the list Janis: you're alright Janis: not that nosy Jimmy: just 🤏 Jimmy: I get it Janis: 'course Janis: if the reason my parents hated you was worth telling I would, like Jimmy: community service ain't enough of a reason? Janis: 'course not Janis: not when you pretend you're still cool to prove you ever were Jimmy: 👎 Janis: what, you wanna go harder to be public enemy #1? Janis: 🙄😏 Jimmy: obviously Janis: you tryna displease my parents is just as weird as you tryna please 'em Janis: just pretend they don't exist, yeah Jimmy: spoilsport Janis: they ain't even in your age-range Janis: behave Jimmy: gutted about that an' all Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: gross, you Jimmy: Bill's gonna be well proud of that protest Jimmy: and your cool parents an' all Janis: piss off Janis: [😒 face] Jimmy: [hooray we can do the beloved pouty face lip thing when he of course kisses her rn oh how I've missed it] Janis: [likewise 'cos loves that so much] Jimmy: [I think it's the first time and I'm fine about it] Janis: [in that case, she's so not, forgetting you just got shaded about being extra so hard] Jimmy: [soz not soz Cass] Janis: ['you know-' being quiet enough that hopefully you aren't disturbing everyone rn '-you know how much I want you' is that a question or a statement, we love being vague] Jimmy: [there's no way he's being quiet enough if he doesn't kiss her really hard rn deal with it everyone he doesn't wanna take care of y'all he wants to be 15 and extra] Janis: [let this boy live] Jimmy: [we're living in this kitchen atm though] Janis: [gotta be up against the door like soz no one come in rn] Jimmy: [give them all the moments thank you cos there's no stopping this and we aren't sorry about it] Janis: [y'all will be fine, they won't] Jimmy: [exactly] Janis: ['I need you' 'cos close as you're allowed to get rn ty] Jimmy: [likewise say her name in response cos that's all I'm letting you say] Janis: [all ready for this trip] Jimmy: [gonna be hilarious for us but not for you] Janis: [so, let's do a flatwhite cringe checklist lol, one of them, probably Asia, needs to be schwasted and get WELL lost, like maybe her mans does show halfway through the night and is like where is she and they're like ??? and then it's dramaaaa] Jimmy: [that's a really good idea] Jimmy: [I think Grace should be the one who hooks up with a lad and then they can't get rid of him and his gaggle of mates because that'd annoy Mia so much which she swore to Janis she would do but also something she would do because Ella called her fat and Hollie should sleep with one of the others but not remember which one it is like we said] Janis: [I vibe that, oh Hollie, hmm what else, one of them needs to freak out in the crowd and have to get pulled out, that's v cringe, like it's hardly a moshpit ladies] Jimmy: [I was literally gonna say someone should go to the first aid tent for no real reason because same vibe] Jimmy: [Ella should be the crowd freaker outer because she probably doesn't like to be touched and Mia should go to the first aid tent like nearly as soon as they get there because gotta pull focus and phone her daddy for that attention she's not getting from her squad rn] Janis: [approved, what a holy show, ladies, plus if Mia does that it'd be a way to force them into a truce without them realizing like omg are you okay and all taking care of her she don't need] Jimmy: [yeah exactly what a snek and it gives her an excuse to cry over the fact Harry ain't coming without them knowing that's why like she's not upset she's just so ill okay] Janis: [obviously they'll all get white girl wasted and embarrassing with that] Jimmy: [good lord yes that's a given at least when JJ get drunk they embarrass themselves with how much they secretly love each other, state of that lot honestly] Janis: [seriously, if it's a small festival maybe the lads they hook up with are in one of the bands 'cos that'd be annoying thinking they're like famous and it's like you aren't though and you were probably shite] Jimmy: [yaaaas I love that] Jimmy: [I also vote that the weather is really crap cos JJ won't care but they would cos their hair and their lewks] Janis: ['cos it always is and you have to roll with it but they apparently didn't get the memo lol] Jimmy: [Hollie the only one vaguely appropriately dressed for festival life] Janis: [it's funny 'cos festival fashion is meant to be so effortless and none of them can ever like they'll look so try-hard and their age 'cos younger girls are like that at raves and shit too like you gotta hang] Jimmy: [mhmm so mad cos Janis looks fire whenever aren't you Mia] Janis: [their posh girl lewks, oh lord] Jimmy: [I just imagine Mia's dad being slightly weird about getting updates throughout the weekend cos he's that cringey and near incesty] Janis: [deffo, when you're in a relationship with your dad, like how's golf, how's the lads, eurgh] Jimmy: [honestly though just having that husband and wife style convo nbd] Janis: [that's why you mad he cheating on your ma, don't lie] Jimmy: [the tea, girls that are older than you but still far too young for him and everything you wish you were] Janis: [he's not even fit it's so sad and gross] Jimmy: [no happy ending for you hun] Janis: [so we've got a good idea for them, what do we wanna do with the fwb moment?] Jimmy: [I wanna fuck it up cos I'm evil but I'm not sure how yet] Janis: [hmm, let's think]