#but I still must express my love on love day

[rizsu]

food for thought, except it’s unwanted jujutsu kaisen : fem-reader.

have you ever wondered about a scenario so much that you must ask? well that’s exactly the last thing they’d wish to answer.

+ love ‘su: gojo, geto, itadori + ‘live, laugh, love’ hater final boss ( sukuna )

gojo satoru ﾉ refuses to answer.

“do you ever think about how it’d be if we never met?”

“ha— no. don’t even go there.”

satoru stops you there. he doesn’t wish to hear another word from you— especially if it extends your former question. he thinks about it— daily, in fact. it's a scenario that crosses his mind whenever he finds himself drunk on the temporary love he receives from you.

you’ve sung the lyric ‘i’ll love you until there’s no more left’ almost every week for him, silently begging that he gets the concept of genuine love through his head.

“why not? imagine if my friends didn’t make that bet where i either hit on you or pay for the night.” you reminisced, remembering the very night you lost the last touch of shame.

he hums, drumming his fingers on your thigh.

“bet or not, we’d still be fated to meet. next question!”

“anddd what makes you so confident?” you threw another question at him. this time, it's lighthearted.

“mind you, i’m the second coming of an angel. i predetermined this since three years ago.”

glances were exchanged, an expression of a grinning fool met the expression of a glaring responsible person who’s the said fool’s other romantic half.

you should've been familiar with satoru’s ways. it’s your fault for expecting a deep-dive conversation with satoru. not quite his cup of tea!

geto suguru ﾉ expects it and tries to escape.

suguru's home was no new, unexplored area to you. you knew his home's blueprint like the back of your hand. if needed, you'd walk through his home blindfolded and still end up in the room you want to be in.

this isn't a good thing to suguru. there are days where the feeling of confusion as to who he is piles up on him, leading him to isolate himself.. until he forgets there's a spare key of his isolation cube in your hold so now the plan goes awry.

that is exactly what’s happening. after he sent the text ‘k bye’ and silenced his notifications, he felt an impending doom. the reason was unknown by then but he should've guessed it was you.

you marched into his home, readying yourself with suguru-loneliness-begone techniques and, of course, the question that's been wandering your mind since you woke up from a dream.

“babe, what if—”

“fuck,” he curses under his breath, too exhausted to put a hand over your mouth.

“what if we were the last persons on earth? would you recreate humanity with me or kill yourself?”

there it is: your special ‘what if’ questions that know no bounds when it comes to absurdity.

“when would that ever happen? please, stop this,” he groans, pleading with his eyes for you to stop.

“that's the thing— you never know! so, what option is it?”

“i'd kill myself a long time ago if possible.”

“so it's the second one?”

“i'm... not cut out to be a good father.”

“i hate an indecisive bitch, my goodness,” it's your turn to complain, a little let down at his grey answers.

suguru's equally offended. you're the one who jumped him with such a question— who even thinks about that?!

“(y/n), baby, has it ever crossed your mind that your thinking skills aren't quite normal?”

“are you calling me stupid?!”

itadori yuuji ﾉ just as stupid.

it's mango season— yuuji's most anticipated season of the year. mangoes are to yuuji what your lipbalm is to you. a necessity, a survival item, a lifesaver, an important part of his lore, something he worships.

peeling mangoes and slicing them to equal pieces has never brought him such satisfaction before. it immediately brightens his mood. this must be how his grandfather felt whenever he took a walk around the neighbourhood.

now you appear, yuuji's second most anticipated person. you to yuuji is what mangoes are to him. this causes yuuji's current happiness level to reach its peak today. such a great level of happiness can defeat any evil being with just being in its area.

“say, yuu,” you begin, stabbing one of the mangoe slices with a fork.

he nods, signalling that he's listening but still focused on his current activity. a true mulit-tasker.

“if one of your limbs happen to detach from your body, do you feel the pain or does the pain go with it?”

he stops, allowing the question to sink in. he's never been asked such a.. divine question before. what's the answer? does the pain go with the limb or does it stay?

“oh... i gotta ask nobara this, she'd know,” he suggests, placing the knife down. a question that'll haunt him if he doesn't act quick for the answer.

“yes, yes!!” you encourage his actions, mindlessly enjoying the mango slices. mangoes are truly a blessing.

sukuna ryomen ﾉ no. nice try, though! A+ for effort.

“ryo, have you ever wondered if—”

“no, i never.”

“you didn't even let—”

“i haven't learnt since two-thousand years ago.”

“you old fuck, let me finish—”

“it's truly been a while since i've wondered.”

“DAMN, BITCH!”

you threw the remote at him, ultimately fed up with him cutting you off before the peak of the sentence. it could've been the question of the year and he'd still dodge it.

sukuna invited himself over since he ran out of entertainment options and you're always there for him. unfortunately, you do not find him as entertainin. he's annoying, arrogant, and attractive so it cancels out the negatives about him.

of course, sukuna caught the remote. his athletic capabilities are its prime despite him being dormant for centuries. it'd be a white lie to say he's not interested in your question, however it is way more benefitting to push your buttons.

he throws the remote back onto your bed, drying his hands with your hand-towel before making his merry way to you.

“your bed's small.”

“well no shit. it's for ME.”

“you mad? you look mad.” his hand holds your chin, turning your head side-to-side to observe your expression.

you rolled your eyes, “i don't get mad that easily.”

“is this how people felt when i told them an obvious lie? i should repent.”

[little-diable]

Marry Me - Dean Winchester (smut)

This can be read as a part 2 to this fic - but you don’t need to read it to understand the story line. The lyrics are from the song “Joy of my Life” by Chris Stapleton. Please like and reblog if you enjoyed reading this, your comments keep us writers motivated! Enjoy my loves. xxx

Summary: Dean finally finds his confidence to ask (y/n) to marry him.

Warnings: 18+, smut, piv, car smut, super fluffy, slight jealousy and possessiveness

Pairing: Dean Winchester x fem!reader (2k words)

She's sweet to me, must be the luckiest man alive. Did I tell you, baby, you are the joy of my life?

“Isn't it funny that this car has seen all our good but also our ugly days?” (Y/n)’s voice filled the Impala as she held onto her food, taking another bite while letting her eyes wander. Dean and her were parked in the middle of nowhere, another getaway from Sam and the bunker the couple had been desperate for. 

It had been a while since Dean had taken her stargazing, letting their eyes take in the most beautiful spectacle, while Dean’s hand had found the small pocket of his jacket, touching the box of the ring he had been carrying around with himself for a while. 

“She really has, and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.” Dean studied his girlfriend with an unreadable expression (y/n) tried to pay no mind to as she got lost in her memories, remembering the first time she had sat in the Impala. 

“So, that’s Baby, huh?” She whispered the words while she let her fingertips trace the leather of the dark seat she sank into. A proud smirk was resting on Dean’s lips as he nodded his head, mimicking her wandering gaze. 

“My most prized possession.” The words had left Dean’s parted lips before he could stop himself, cursing himself for saying this to his new girlfriend. But all (y/n) did was laugh and shake her head at her grinning boyfriend who stared at her with excitement laced in his gaze.

“What is it, Dean?” Her voice grew lower as the words rumbled through her, letting them vibrate on her lips. He moved closer to press a kiss to her lips while his right hand found the back of her headrest, keeping himself close to her. 

“The backseats are quite comfortable, if you feel like testing them out.” Dean’s words drew a gritty laugh from (y/n) as she only nodded her head before finding her way to the backseat. Within seconds she found herself straddling Dean’s lap while their lips got lost in a rough kiss. 

“I still remember the first time you introduced me to Baby, I was sure you’d eventually end up marrying your car.” Her laughter had an addicting effect on Dean, drawing a few from him as well while he kept studying (y/n). His heart began to beat faster in his chest as his thoughts began to race. 

Perhaps this was the moment he had always been waiting for. This was the perfect spot, hidden in the dark, while Baby offered them enough comfort and distraction, away from their busy life and home. Dean took one last bite of his burger before he wiped his fingers and slowly reached for his pocket, closing his fist around the velvety black box. 

(Y/n) had her all too oblivious gaze focused on the window, once again remembered of another night they had spent in this car. 

Silence filled Baby. A thick silence that left (y/n)’s heart painfully clenching in her chest. No word had been shared between her and Dean since their fight, an escalation of jealous words and angry sensations they couldn’t shake. 

“Do you really think I’d cheat on you?” Her voice was small as she spoke the words, letting them rumble through Baby while she shuffled around on the seat to look at Dean, who was laying behind her. 

It took him a few moments to speak up as he closed eyes as if he was trying to shake the memories of what had drawn these ugly words from his parted lips. It had been foolish, a stupid mistake he had instantly regretted as tears had welled up in her eyes. 

“No, I don’t.” She was a friendly soul, always had been, but it was something Dean clearly struggled to accept, especially when she shared one of the smiles he wanted to be the only one receiving, with strangers. She was a beautiful woman, it was no surprise that men chatted her up whenever she stood alone, without Dean near, and yet it still left him spiralling, urged on by his fear of losing her. 

“You know,” (y/n) cleared her throat as she also finished her food. Slowly she turned her head back towards her boyfriend, while pondering over the words she so desperately had wanted to speak for months now. “We haven’t really talked about marriage and all these things before, but I can’t help but wonder, if that is even something you’d want.” 

Dean could tell that she was nervous about speaking these words, struggling to let them roll off her tongue while fumbling with her fingers. A shaky exhale left him before he reached for her hand with his free one, letting their fingers interlace. 

“Do you remember when we went stargazing a few weeks ago?” (Y/n) could only nod her head with a slight confusion tugging on her features. 

“I had promised myself that I’d ask you to marry me that night, but even though I was never so sure of something as I am of the love I have for you, I still fear that one day you’ll pack your bags to run from this mess we are stuck in. Sam told me that I don’t need to be scared, because you’d never do that. And I know that, deep down I really do, but perhaps it wasn’t the right moment, the right day. But now, here, with Baby,” the rest of his sentence was left hanging in the air. Tears began to well up in her eyes as she watched Dean pull his left hand from the pocket of his jacket, exposing a small box to her eyes.

“Will you marry me, (y/n)?” The words were whispered, filling the small space before a sob broke out of her. All (y/n) could do was whisper a small "Of course" as Dean opened the box to expose the most beautiful ring she has ever seen. 

Both their hands were shaking. Dean had his eyes set on her finger as he slowly slid the ring onto it – all while being unable to bite down his grin at the sight. Her hands found his cheeks to pull him in for a teeth clashing kiss, drawing desperate moans from them in unison. 

First time that I saw you, you took my breath away. I might not get to Heaven, but I walked with the angels that day

“I love you, Dean Winchester.” She mumbled the words against his lips as he held her close, letting another shaky though relieved sigh pass his lips. 

“I love you too, future Misses Winchester.” Her teary laughter rumbled through her as Dean kissed her again, deepening the kiss with his wandering tongue and his impatient hands. Her mind was racing, still trying to understand what had just happened, something she had been thinking of since meeting Dean, and yet she had never dared to have the talk with him.

God, how lucky she was, getting married to the man she never wanted to part from again, forever glued to his side as if their fate had been interlinked since their births. 

“Backseat?” His question vibrated against her lips while (y/n) choked on her moan, desperate for him to fuck her on the seats that had experienced their best and their worst moments. For a second, they parted, to find their way to the backseats, before (y/n) straddled his lap and let her hands undo his trousers, while they kissed again, and again. 

“I can’t believe I get to marry you. I must have done something right after all.” Dean’s words left her heart clenching in her chest. (Y/n) wanted to tell him that there was so much he had done right in his life, that there were so many things he should be proud of, but the words died on her tongue as his fingers disappeared beneath her dress to wander over the damp fabric of her panties. The groan leaving Dean made her buzz in excitement, unable to bite down a groan of her own. 

“Fuck, you’re already so wet for me, sweetheart.” He began to rub her pulsing bundle through the thin fabric, while she finally managed to free his hardening cock. Their eyes held contact as (y/n) spat into her hand before she began to pump him, giving them both enough courage to let go of their sounds to fill the dark Impala. 

“Dean, don’t waste any time, I want to feel you inside of me.” Her moaned words left Dean chuckling in glee, a gritty sound that made her walls clench around nothing, begging him to finally sink into her. Their eyes held contact as his tongue kissed his teeth, sinking further into the seat while his fingers pushed her panties aside. She held her dress up to offer him a view that made his cock twitch, watching her position herself while he could only stare up at her and thank his lucky stars for pushing them together. 

Both let go of a heavy moan as (y/n) sank down on his cock. She allowed herself to rest for a moment, to push her forehead against his, while both took a deep breath. Slowly she began to move, supported by Dean’s hands, who couldn’t stop his fingertips from digging into her skin. 

The sound of their bodies moving filled Baby, followed by sinful sounds they couldn’t stop from breaking through them. Both were grateful for the darkness that had wrapped them in a comforting embrace, clinging to them to hide their frames from anybody who could walk past the Impala. Stuck in their own bubble, forever interlinked.

“I always knew you were perfect for me, fuck, I can’t believe I get to marry you.” Dean’s head rolled back against the headrest to stare at his now fiancée, the most beautiful woman his eyes had ever been fortunate enough to look at. She was perfect in any and every way, crafted for him only, made to cling to his body. God, sex had never felt like that before he had met (y/n), it had never been this intense, this raw, this loving. He wouldn’t trade this for the world, forever glued to her side. 

“Dean,” (y/n) whined his name as she reached for his hand to push it closer to her pulsing bundle, needing the extra friction to push that familiar heat through her aching body. Their foreheads met, pressed together as they trembled, knowing that their highs were oh so very close. 

He couldn’t stop his hips from meeting her thrusts, trying to bury himself even deeper inside of her as she trembled in his lap. He’d fight every creature, every being for this sight. Dean would do anything to hold her like this for the rest of their lives. 

“Look at me, (y/n).” His choked words forced her eyes to meet his green ones, holding contact as she came for him. Dean’s hips began to move again, jerking upwards to fuck them through her high, only to follow her a few seconds later to imprint himself on her walls. 

“I can’t wait for the night of our wedding.” Dean panted the words that drew a laugh from (y/n). She rested her forehead on his shoulder, holding herself to him as he was still buried deep inside of her. 

“Of course this is the only thing you think of. I can’t believe I’m marrying such a horny bastard.” His hands began to tickle her, forcing a loud laugh out of (y/n) as she threw her head back, letting the sounds fill the car.

“You wouldn’t have it any other way, sweetheart.” 

Some may have their riches, some may have their worldly things, as long as I have you, I′ll treasure each and every day

Just take me by the hand, I am the luckiest man alive, did I tell you, baby, you are the joy of my life?

[januaryembrs]

Bugsy and Spencer tea!!

the one with the card counting | Spencer Reid x Prentiss!Reader

description: Bugsy and Spence quarrel while playing Old Maid

length: 700 wds

set in the trouble almost all my life universe

“Spence, I love you, but if you try card counting in Old Maid one more time, I’m not speaking to you for the rest of the flight,” Bugsy snipped, staring down at the man over their deck of cards, his hazel eyes narrowed and concentrated as he flicked through his hand. The joker card glared down at him from the dead centre, where he’d strategically placed it so she’d be more likely to take it when her turn came, though he’d been unsuccessful so far. 

She didn’t need to see his lips to know he was chewing them in frustration, eyes darting between the pile on the table of already used hands, the rest of the deck they were picking up from, and how many cards she had in her hand. 

“I’m not, and even if I was, it’s just math,” He replied in a defensive tone, knowing she’d already caught him out as he looked up at her, the red back designs fanning over her mouth and nose, though her annoyed expression was still clear as day to him. For a guy who rarely understood what people meant until they spelled it out verbally for him, Bugsy had always just seemed to make sense in his head, “I’m not cheating,”

He said it like someone who was trying to convince himself it was true, his eyes as innocent and none threatening as they would go, though he got that little notch between his brows that said he knew exactly what he was doing and felt bad for lying to her. 

Huffing, she drew her cards to her chest and setting her elbows on the table, Hotch to her left with an amused smile drawing at his lips as he tried to catch some sleep on the way home from a case, though the sound of the two agents bickering gave him some inflight entertainment at least. 

“Oh, really?” She asked, daring him to repeat himself even though saying it the first time had been hard enough, and Spencer simply nodded with a small ‘Mhm’, “Alright, smart guy, if we’re playing it like that then I’m taking this card,” Bugsy said, pulling the ace of spades he had sitting beside the joker with a pointed look on her face, “And the reason I want this one and not the one next to it is because I know that's where you put the old maid,” 

Spencer swallowed, the tip of his nose turning a blush, as he grit his teeth together in annoyance, “I guess the joke is on you, Miss Prentiss. I don’t even have the old maid,” He said, forcing his voice not to quake, and he sounded somewhat believable, at least that’s what he thought until he saw her brow raise, and he knew he was fucked.  

“Yeah? Government names is it?” She asked again, giving him chance to fix his error, only he doubled down with a second nod, his lips pursed. Her finger shot out to point to the joker card, where she could only see the intricate pattern that matched every other in his hand, “So this isn’t the Old Maid?” 

Spencer blinked once, the two of them exchanging a heated look like they were waiting for the smallest of breaks in character, and his breathing even despite the fact it was under duress, his expression abnormally calm as the jet went entirely silent, “Yes,” 

“Bullshit,” He quickly collected his cards to his lap and scrambled to shuffle them well enough that she wouldn’t guess which one was the dead card, his scowl spreading over his face.

“You cheater, you must have seen my cards, there’s no way to count where I put the joker, that is entirely by chance-” Spencer snapped back, flipping them between his long, lithe fingers as Bugsy giggled into her hand. 

“Play nicely, boys and girls,” Rossi chided where he had his nose buried in the newspaper, only glancing up to see Spencer glaring at the girl who sat opposite him with a victorious smirk. 

“Face it, Spencer Reid. You might be good, but I’m better.” Derek bit his lip to stop himself from laughing where he was eavesdropping on their game on the seats behind them, and he thought he might have to take it to his deathbed that he and the younger girl had swapped Spencer's cards out the second he went to the bathroom. Or maybe save it for a rainy day, when he really needed leverage against the stubborn girl and let them squabble in peace. 

Bugsy didn't tell him until a year later, the week before she left for London.

[crilbyte]

Hey, um... could you write a human Alastor oneshot where he's like, just genuinely obsessed with the reader and shes completely into that, like, knows he's crazy and is super turned on by it?

TYTYTY!

Hoooly shit. I'm into this. Okay *cracks knuckles* here we go...

Oneshot - Human!Alastor x Reader

Words: 4,307

Rating: 18+

You still remember how you'd met Alastor. You had just moved to New Orleans, excited about the idea of starting over in such an incredible town. However, what you didn't know at the time was that the city was haunted by a serial killer, Alastor, who was still on the loose and planning his next victim. As you walked the streets one night, returning from the market, Alastor began to watch you from afar. He quickly decided that you would be a perfect victim, but when he got closer to you, he noticed something different. He noticed that you didn't belong to the city. The way you walked and the way you stood out for your beauty, something about you made him hesitate.

He eventually approached you and you took to him immediately. At first he thought it might be because of his charm, but he quickly came to realize that you were just as twisted as he was. Every day that you spent together he was more and more happy that he didn't give into his baser instincts that first night.

Then, after months of being a happy couple, he catches wind that one of his rivals had their eye on you. The idea was more than just upsetting, he needed to deal with this immediately. Without warning, Alastor kissed you goodbye with only the promise to return after he had “handled something important.” And you knew better than to question him. You'd both agreed that the less you knew about his hobbies the better, in the off chance something went sideways and he was apprehended.

It had been some time since you'd last seen your lover when he decided he couldn't stay away any longer. One day, while you were returning from the market, your bag broke and your purchases spilled onto the floor. Alastor, seeing the scene, took the opportunity.

He approached, gently asking "Hello, do you need help with this?" He smiles, admiring your beauty.

"Alastor!" You say, throwing arms around him

Alastor's eyes widen in shock at your sudden gesture, but he quickly composes himself and wraps his arms around your waist. He looks at you, his eyes filled with a mix of surprise and something approaching pleasure.

"I missed you, you've been so busy!"

Alastor's face breaks out into a warm smile, his arms tightening around you. He whispers, "I missed you too, my sweet. I apologize for my absence. I have been preoccupied with... other matters."

"That's understandable," you say with a smile, your face pressed against his chest.

Alastor's arms tighten around you, pulling you closer. His voice lowers as he murmurs, "I'm glad you understand, my beloved. I would do anything to spend every moment with you, but alas, I have enemies that I must deal with."

"Are you okay?" You ask, looking up at him, a concerned look on your face. "You seem... tense."

Alastor stiffens at your question, his eyes narrowing slightly. He forces a smile and replies, "I'm fine, my dear. I assure you, I can handle anything that comes my way. It's just... business as usual."

You grip his coat, pulling his face closer to yours. "No, I can tell, something is wrong."

Alastor's eyes widen slightly as you pull him closer, his heart racing at the sudden closeness. He tries to maintain his composure and replies, "It's nothing that you should concern yourself with, my sweet. I don't want to burden you with my troubles."

"But I want to. It's no burden, really. Let me help you..."

Alastor's expression softens as he looks into your eyes. He hesitates, then leans in and whispers, "There is a man who threatens to take you away from me. I can't bear the thought of losing you, my love.”

You blink, taken aback. "A man? Who? Take me how?"

Alastor's gaze becomes intense as he whispers, "He wants to steal you from me, take you away forever. He's a dangerous man, my dear. I can't let him have you." His hand tightens on yours, as if trying to protect you even now.

"Is he planning to kidnap me?" You ask, concerned.

Alastor's eyes flash with anger and jealousy as he answers, "I don't know what he plans, but I won't let him harm you. You are mine, and I will protect you with my life." He pulls you close once more, holding you tightly against him.

You feel so safe in his arms. You sigh, truly happy. "I just want to stay with you..." you say quietly.

Alastor's hold on you tightens, his heart swelling with joy and relief as he hears your words. He whispers in your ear, "You will always stay with me, my love. I will never let you go."

"What does the man want with me?" you ask.

Alastor's expression darkens once more as he speaks, "He wants what is mine, what I hold most dear. He wants you for himself, my love. But he cannot have you, you belong to me." His voice becomes almost a snarl, his possessiveness over you clear.

"No, I don't want anyone to touch me but you..."

Alastor's expression softens as he sees the fear in your eyes. He gently brushes a strand of hair from your face and leans down to press a tender kiss to your forehead.

"No one will ever touch you but me. I will protect you with my life, my love."

You take a deep breath, leaning into his kiss. "I'm scared..." You whisper.

Alastor wraps his arms around you, holding you close as he whispers soothing words into your ear.

"Don't be scared, my love. I am here for you. I will keep you safe from anyone who wishes to harm you.”

You nod, relaxing into his arms. Alastor's eyes light up with a warm smile, his voice filled with relief.

"Good girl, that's it. Just trust me and let me take care of you." He leans down to kiss you again, his lips gentle yet firm, conveying both love and possession.

You sigh happily into the kiss, loving the feeling of his protective possession. Alastor's heart swells with happiness and a fierce love for you as he deepens the kiss. He pulls back slightly, his breath warm against your lips, his eyes dark with desire.

"You are mine, and I will do anything to protect you. Anything to make you happy.”

You give him a suggestive look. "You know what would make me happy right now...?"

Alastor's eyes light up with understanding, and a wicked smile spreads across his face.

"Oh, I think I do, my love."

He takes your hand and leads you to the nearby alleyway. You giggle, biting your lip as he pulls you along. Once safely out of eyeshot, Alastor pushes you against the wall, his body pressed against yours as he looks at you hungrily.

"You are so beautiful, so delectable, you are mine and I will let no other touch you.” He leans down to kiss you again, his hands wandering over your body as he whispers sweet, possessive words against your lips.

You gasp as he quickly becomes aggressive with you, already feeling as though you might melt at his touch. Alastor groans at the sound of your gasp, deepening the kiss as he slides his hands under your shirt. He feels your skin against his fingertips, heating up as he becomes more and more passionate.

"I need you," He whispers fervently."

"Then take me..." You say back breathlessly. "Prove your ownership of me... take what is yours..."

Alastor shudders at the sound of your words. You groan as you feel him hook his hands under your knees and lift you, pinning you with his body to the wall. He grinds against you, biting and sucking at your neck and shoulders as he becomes more and more animalistic.

"Claim me..." You moan as his teeth sink into your flesh.

Alastor growls possessively at the sounds of your moans, feeling a rush of satisfaction as he hears you begging for him. He continues to ravage your neck, leaving hickeys and bite marks as a physical reminder of his ownership.

"Oh God, Alastor..." You moan, your hips involuntarily pressing into his, grinding back against him.

Alastor lets out a shiver at the sound of your hushed panting, his mind consumed by a desire to possess you and make you his own. He grinds back against you, growling low as he feels your hips press against his own growing erection.

You grab either side of his face, pulling him to look up at you and he's instantly enthralled. Your face is in the picture of lust. Your eyes half- lidded, mouth open, cheeks pink...

"Alastor..." You sigh out. "Fuck me. right now, here in this alley..."

Alastor smirks at your words, feeling his desire spike at the sight of your lust-filled face. He reaches between you to tug at his pants, freeing his throbbing cock before sliding your panties aside and rubbing against your entrance.

"Are you sure, my dear?”

Your breath hitches at your touch, licking my lips before biting my tongue and nodding.

"Yes, please, I need you."

Alastor growls in satisfaction, gripping your hip with one hand as he guides himself to your entrance. He presses the head of his cock against you, teasingly circling it before thrusting into you with enough force to knock the wind out of you.

"As you wish."

You throw your head back, gasping loudly, eyes wide. "Ooooh… Alastor..." You moan loudly, your fingers digging into his shoulders.

Alastor smirks up at you as he begins to move his hips, thrusting in and out with a steady rhythm meant to satisfy the both of you. He leans in to bite at your neck, sucking on the flesh as he continues to fuck you in the alleyway.

You wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him deeper inside with each thrust. while you begin to lick and bite at his ear.

Alastor growls, gripping your ass tightly as you pull him deeper into you. His thrusts become more erratic as he feels his pleasure building, matching the intensity of your assault on his ear.

"You like that?" He growls.

"Yeeeesssssss...." You groan into his ear. "Fuck me, Alastor, ruin my cunt so no one else could ever satisfy me like you do..."

Alastor's growl turns into a low chuckle at your words, feeling a surge of possessiveness at your desire for only him to satisfy you.

"Oh, I'll ruin that sweet cunt for anyone else, my love. I'll make sure no other cock could ever compare."

"I love your cock," you whine, "Deeper! I want to feel you deeper... I want you to bruise my cervix..."

Alastor's thrusts become harder and more desperate as he obeys your command, reaching deeper into you with every thrust. He can't help but love the sound of your moans and the way your nails dig into his back.

"Do you want me to mark you, little bird?”

"Yes, please, mark me as yours!" You beg. "Mark me inside and out!"

Alastor lets out a deep, guttural groan at your words, gripping your hips with bruising force as he pushes deeper into you still. He takes pride in leaving his mark on you, making sure every thrust is laced with the intensity of his love, his possessiveness and obsession with you reaching its peak.

"Mine... mine..." he growls as his thrusts become almost violent as he bites and sucks on your neck.

"I'm gonna cum, Alastor! Ah!" You cry out as your breathing begins to quicken.

Alastor's eyes light up at the sound of your moans and impending climax. He quickens his pace, letting out a low growl that vibrates through you as he feels your walls tighten around him.

"That's it, little bird, cum for me…”

"oh, Oh, OH! A-ah~!" You moan, tightening your grip on him with both your fingers and your legs, pulling him the deepest yet, all the way to the base of his shaft, as you clench and spasm around him.

Alastor gives a satisfied moan as he fills you completely with each thrust, feeling himself hitting that sweet spot deep inside of you.

"Fuck, yes, your body was made for me, little bird. You're so tight and wet..."

"Don't stop..." You mumble in disconnected pleasure. "Fuck, fuck, fuuuuck me..."

Alastor grins hungrily at your words, his thrusts becoming almost desperate as he reaches lower to rub at your clit in time with his thrusts.

"You want me to fuck you harder, little bird? You're mine, don't forget that!"

Your gasp is sharp and quick. You begin to squirm at the overstimulation of him touching your clit so quickly after cumming. You begin to almost scream and he's forced to kiss you to silence them, not wanting anyone to happen by and see you in such a state.

Alastor kisses you deeply, swallowing your screams as he increases the pace and pressure of his fingers on your clit. It doesn't take long before another orgasm takes over your body, leaving you trembling in his arms.

"That's it, little bird...

Your body feels as though it might fall apart, or turn to jello, your every cell vibrating with pleasure. Your eyes roll back into your head and your tongue lolls out of your mouth as he continues to pound you into the brick alley wall.

Alastor chuckles darkly at the sight of you, his thrusts becoming more erratic as he feels himself getting closer to his own release. He tightens his hold on you, not wanting to let go even for a moment.

"I'm going to fill you up, little bird..."

"Iinsiiide..." You groan out. "I want it inside..."

Becoming more forceful as he feels his orgasm build. He takes a deep breath, feeling his desire spike at your words. He thrusts harder and faster, aiming to get as deep inside of you as possible. He wants to leave his mark on you, to possess you completely.

"You're so tight, little bird... You're going to get every last drop of my love..."

"Yes! Please! Fill me with your cum! A-ah!"

Alastor growls as he feels himself reach his limit, his thrusts becoming erratic as he releases inside of you. He groans as the feeling overwhelms him, his arms tightening around you even more.

"Yes... Yes... Take it all, little bird..."

You moan loudly as you feel him filling you with his seed, you can feel as it spills out around him and onto the cobblestone. With heavy panting, you begin to sag in his arms, exhausted. Alastor gasps for breath as he empties himself inside of you, his own body trembling from the force of his orgasm. He grins down at you, his eyes shining brightly as he looks at you adoringly.

"Such a good little bird…”

You shiver, your whole body a trembling mess in his arms as you slowly slide down the wall into a puddle on the ground. Alastor chuckles as he sinks down with you, his arms still wrapped around your waist as he holds you close to him. He buries his face in your neck, pressing soft kisses to your skin.

"Are you alright, little dove...?"

You shiver with each kiss to your neck, your head resting on his shoulder. Alastor hums contentedly as he feels you nod, pressing one last kiss to your neck before pulling back to look at you. He brushes your hair out of your face with a gentle hand, his thumb tracing the curve of your cheek.

"Such a pretty little bird..."

"I'm a mess," you blush, criticizing yourself. "You only say that because you're still inside me..." You say, clenching your kegel muscles.

Alastor shudders at the sudden stimulation, his grip on you tightening slightly. He grins down at you, his eyes shining mischievously. Alastor grins at your words, his hands sliding down to grab onto your hips.

"Well, maybe you're a mess because I'm still inside you... but you're a beautiful, fucking mess..."

You bite your lip and continue to clench and unclench your insides around him, trying to overstimulate him in slight revenge.

"I'm only a mess because you needed to stake your claim on me... and now I'm dripping with your cum in a random alley..."

Alastor lets out a low moan at the continued overstimulation, his grip on your hips tightening. He grins down at you, his eyes shining with lust.

"Oh, don't act like you didn't enjoy it... I know you did.”

You squeeze him closer with your legs, pulling him deeper into you.

"I never said I didn't enjoy it..."

Alastor lets out a deep, guttural groan at the feeling of being pulled deeper into you. He wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him.

"Good... because I'm not done fucking this perfect little cunt of yours."

You gasp as you feel him hardening inside you once more. You let him push you down onto the cobblestone ground, holding himself over you with a crazed smile and pinprick pupils.

Alastor smirks down at you, his eyes filled with a psychotic joy as he begins thrusting into you once more. The sound of skin slapping against skin echoes through the alley as you lay there, completely at his mercy. You begin to fall apart, your eyes rolling back into your head as he fucks you into the ground. Alastor's thrusts become more and more desperate as he watches you fall apart beneath him. He can't get enough of your moans and screams.

"I'm going to make you cum again and again..." he growls, thumbing your little bud with precision.

Your mouth falls open and your head falls back, every drop of your psyche wrapped up in the pleasure that he's currently thrusting into your body. You quickly orgasm around him, tightening and shivering as you go, a low groan escaping you.

Alastor grins wickedly as you come apart around him again and again, the intensity of your cries only driving him further over the edge.

"Again..." He pants, feeling himself building towards his own release. "Do it again for me..."

It only takes a few minutes before you're writhing again beneath him, your climaxes coming closer and closer together as the overstimulation takes hold of your body. Alastor's eyes narrow in concentration as he brings you to the edge again and again, the lust in his eyes growing with every panting breath you take.

"Cum for me..." He urges, thrusting harder and deeper, his own climax fast approaching.

You moan out his name, it being the only word you seem to be able to form as you melt in his arms, your face sexed out, eyes watering and glassy, mouth agape, tongue resting on your lower lip as you breathe heavy breaths to the rhythm of his cock thrusting in and out of you.

Alastor growls in satisfaction as he feels you cum again, your body trembling and writhing beneath him. He thrusts a few more times before his own release explodes within you, filling you with warmth.

"You...are incredible..."

You feel his semen spilling out around him as you begin to overflow. You moan at the sensation, your mind seeming to break with the overwhelming pleasure of him inside you. Alastor catches his breath, his muscles tensing as he empties himself inside you a second time. He leans down to press a soft kiss to your forehead, whispering words of praise and affection in your ear.

"My perfect little dove… you've taken every inch of me…”

You smile through your daze, pleased with his compliment.

"I love your cock..." You mumble out.

Alastor's eyes light up as he hears your words. He wraps his arms around you, holding you close as he nuzzles against your neck.

"And I love filling you up...you're the only one who can make me feel this way..."

"I don't ever want another man to touch me for the rest of my days..." You sigh.

Alastor's expression turns serious as he hears your words. "And I will make sure no one else ever will. I'll protect you, keep you safe...you belong to me now, my love." He kisses you deeply, as if trying to brand you with his affection.

"Tell me... Tell me how you feel... How you desire me..." You beg as he kisses down your chin to your neck.

Alastor smirks against you as he hears your begging, his heart racing with desire and lust.

"I desire you so much it hurts… I think about you every second of every day, my sweet bird. I crave your touch, your kiss…”

"And who do I belong to...?" You ask teasingly.

Alastor's grip on you tightens, his voice laced with possessiveness. "You belong to me. Only me. You're my everything, my perfect little lover. I could never let you go." He continues to shower kisses along your neck, unable to control his emotions.

"And what would you do if anyone were to touch me...?" You ask, hoping to ignite his possessive craze.

Alastor's eyes narrow dangerously as he hears your question, his voice low and threatening.

"I would kill them. Slowly. They would suffer for daring to lay their filthy hands on what is mine. No one touches you but me."

"If someone held me down and took me by force..." You push out, gasping at the sound of his voice, so exciting to you. "What would you do...?”

Alastor's face turns furious at the thought, his body shaking with anger and possessiveness.

"If anyone dared to force themselves on you, I would rip them apart limb by limb. They would beg for death, but I would make sure they suffer first."

You shiver at the idea of his violent possessiveness.

"Alastor..." You moan out. "Do you think you have one more round in you...?" You ask quietly.

Alastor's eyes light up with a sinister hunger as he hears your question. "Oh, my sweet, I have endless rounds for you. I will never tire of taking you, owning you, possessing you. Again and again, until there is nothing left but us."

"Good, because I want you to fuck me while thinking about what you'd do if anyone ever held me like this... I want your rage and your fury..." You say in a seductive tone.

Alastor's body responds immediately to your tone, his cock already hard with desire. As he thrusts into you once more, he imagines someone else trying to claim what is his. His movements become more forceful, more desperate. You all but scream as he begins to ravish your already weakened body; the sounds that escape from you becoming animalistic.

"Mine…"

Alastor relishes in the sounds you make, his mind filled with dark thoughts of possession. He wants to mark you as his own, to make sure no one else will ever dare to touch you. His thrusts become more urgent as he feels your body tremble under him.

"Yours..." You moan, gripping his face and dragging him closer for a sloppy kiss.

Alastor eagerly responds, his tongue exploring your mouth with a new fervor. He wants to consume you, to keep you close and never let you go. His hands roam over your body, gripping you tightly as he continues to thrust into you.

"Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me!" You cry out, you can't stop moaning, his cock making you feel like you might go crazy.

Alastor's eyes darken with pleasure as he hears your words. He wants to give you what you want, to bring you to the brink of madness with pleasure. His movements become more frenzied as he chases his own release, his cock buried deep inside of you.

"Claim me so no man could ever begin to take your place..." You groan, "Break me..."

As Alastor hears your words, his obsession takes over, his movements becoming more dominant and controlling. He wants to claim you, to make you his own. His thrusts become more powerful as he breaks through your barriers, his cock filling you completely.

Your eyes roll back into your head, leaving you looking almost possessed as your most powerful climax yet rocks through your body. Your muscles tensing so much that you even stop breathing as waves of pleasure roll through you.

Feeling you climax around him, Alastor can't help but smile, satisfied with the sight before him. He continues to thrust into you, prolonging your pleasure as long as possible. Eventually, he reaches his own climax, his cock throbbing inside of you as he releases himself completely.

The two of you collapse onto the ground in a heap, both fully spent now. Just a mass of flesh and sweat and cum... breathing deeply in an attempt to remain conscious. Alastor moves to lay next to you, his breathing still ragged as he tries to catch his own breath. His hand reaches out to rest on your chest, feeling your heart race as the aftershocks of pleasure wash over you. He leans in close, pressing a gentle kiss to your lips."

"I love you..." You whisper, exhausted, but still smiling.

Alastor's eyes light up at your confession, an overwhelming sense of happiness filling him up. He presses his lips to yours once more, this time in a deep, loving kiss.

"And I love you." He whispers back, his hand reaching up to gently cup your cheek.

"You're the only one for me..." You sigh.

Alastor's smile grows wider, his entire being glowing with happiness.

"And you are the only one for me. I will always be here for you, no matter what." He leans in for another kiss, his hand never leaving your face as he holds you close to him.

Damn that one was fun. Tysm Anon.

If anyone else has a request, please don't hesitate to send it my way. I love them. Also, I'm pretty open to any kinks outside of like, pedo shit or like scat. Lol. Push my limits, let's see where my boundaries lie!

Taglist: @shadowqueen1318 @liveontelevision @honestlyshamelesskid @bad-and-drawn-that-way @lonelynmisunderstood @shcrou-sei @l0liamk @tasha-1994 @cosmiccandydreamer @memoire-du-ciel @martinys-world  @itsavicf @looking1016

[wonryllis]

𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐅𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐒 & 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐈𝐄𝐖𝐒 & 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐏𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐓𝐒

𝖼𝖺𝗇'𝗍 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗇𝗈𝗍𝗂𝖼𝖾 𝗁𝗈𝗐 𝖿𝖺𝗌𝗍 𝗆𝗒 𝗁𝖾𝖺𝗋𝗍 𝖻𝖾𝖺𝗍𝗌 𝖺𝗋𝗈𝗎𝗇𝖽 𝗒𝗈𝗎? 𝖼𝖺𝗇'𝗍 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗇𝗈𝗍𝗂𝖼𝖾 𝗁𝗈𝗐 𝗆𝗒 𝖾𝗒𝖾𝗌 𝗅𝗈𝗈𝗄 𝖺𝗍 𝗒𝗈𝗎? 𝖼𝖺𝗇'𝗍 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗇𝗈𝗍𝗂𝖼𝖾 𝗁𝗈𝗐 𝗂 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎?

ׅ ꢾ꣒ find the MASTERLIST here.

PREVIEW. you always get what you want, spoiled with the love of everyone around you. and it's all innocent love, at least that's what everyone thinks. it comes with much surprise therefore, when heeseung makes a move on you. thirteen long years of being in the brother zone having made him utterly clueless that if he’s going to date you he has to pass through your actual brothers first. and he knows how scary they can be. especially since they are known to have a sister complex and he’s been the third scary one with them, numerous times before.

𝐈 check out the PROFILES.

PLS READ THE CONTENT BELOW ALL THE CHARACTER INFO IS LISTED IN JUST THIS ONE POST !

𝐈𝐈 tune in to the CHARACTER INTERVIEWS ( given by the characters themselves ! )

CHOI YN 20 ( fashion ), well what do i say? hello everyone i'm choi yn! im sure everyone knows me already ^^ .. what else do i say? hmm i love my life a lot! i love my brothers and heeseung and wonie so much, they are the closest people in my life! oh shit sorry riki too hehe oops. college has been fun since im doing exactly what i wanted and it's fun to hangout with won all the time. seungie brings me snacks all the time and binnie lets me eat cakes everyday even though junnie has scolded them not to cause i easily get dental problems and then he has to convince be to go to the dentist, eww.

LEE HEESEUNG 23 ( film ), if you ever stop hearing from me, please know that my day has come and i have chosen to be exposed. as much as jun and soobs love me, and as much as they love tiny(my yn, she's just real cute) if i ever dare speak of that kind of love with tiny in the same sentence it's my last moment on earth. jay and taehyun help a lot and i'd give everything to thank them for it but man they still haven't been able to actually help me get with yn?

CHOI SOOBIN 24 ( law school ), yes my sister is my everything, each one of her wishes no matter how stupid and idiotic they are, must be fulfilled. i think i was like ten when ynie said being a lawyer would be so cool, and it's been my life's motto now. law school kicks my ass yeah but whenever i think of how happy she'd be to see me as a badass lawyer it feels like nothing. i could easily help her win the divorce that's a plus point, i think i should start looking into divorce attorney things.

CHOI YEONJUN 25 ( model ), i swear scaring away my baby sister's admirers is one of my full time jobs besides runaway modelling but alas she is my sister of course she's a beauty. i know she will date and marry a motherfucking guy one day, and i won't be able to stop it but i hope that day takes the longest time to come. she was one of the first ones to say how good my dressing style was, if it wasnt for her i would not be one of the rising faces in the fashion scene today.

PARK JAY 22 ( music production ), being lee heeseung's childhood friend has been my life's greatest downfall. and being his emergency contact number one is probably the biggest mistake of my life. it's so so so infuriating to see him do nothing and panic over the fact that some might sweep her off her feet right before his eyes like fucker you gotta sweep her off her feet rather than worrying over how someone else might sweep her off her feet. taehyun probably understands me.

SIM JAKE 22 ( physics ), it's fun, so so fun i can not express it verbally man, 'm having a blast! there's so many new things to learn i am so happy with my major and my astronomy club thing is going so well too, it's been amazing so far. the only thing i dont like is my mates ignoring me, like i tell them about all these quantum mechanics things and how it's works like it's legit the coolest thing ever and they don't wanna listen me and then come to me for help with assignments like dude? there's no give and take here and it's not high school anymore? but i do it cause im nice :)

PARK SUNGHOON 22 ( communications ), first of all i gotta thank my man taehyun for letting me copy off of him to pass my semesters so far. as a full time commercial and photoshoot model, college is just a side quest for me at this point, just need an arm candy degree to show that i am infact educated contrary to what people think. oh and i'd like to tell this, don't tell anyone, i actually know all the drama going on and it's so funny but i gotta stay low if i wanna be safe. sometimes i do think of stirring things up but yeonjun man he scares me, i better be on his good side.

KIM SUNOO 21 ( journalism ), for real god am i the only one working my ass off here cause why the hell all these dicks be fucking up their lives and copying off people to survive like? look at me, every little gossip on campus and you know who to go to get the full info! exactly how it should be for a journalism major. i swear i am doing all the shit ass work here. i admit i slip sometimes especially with heeseung's secret in front of god forbidden yn but 'm just a human, and humans make mistakes yk? and please tell kai to fuck off please, thank you.

YANG JUNGWON 20 ( fashion ), it's a different feeling when three guys trust you with their precious sister. and it's a different feeling when that precious real spoiled girl treats you like the best buddy she could ever have. but it's not so fortunate when you gotta dash to protect anytime the brothers ping you, it's like a national secret agency part time job and it's the hardest thing when the target is someone like yn. i treasure her a lot, as a friend! yes, yet the times when her brothers get jealous of me are some of the most nerve wrecking times.

NISHIMURA RIKI 20 ( photography ), are we surprised here? no wtf have y'all not seen the pics i post on my twt like i got talent you have to accept it. especially a lot of talent in gaming and luck, my luck be through the roofff. just started lol a year ago and my YouTube Chanel six months ago and im already almost a diamond and about to hit a million subscribers.. talk about god's favorite! ha that's me. but the thing is more than that i wanna be yn's favorite like i know she says won and i are same but i know that kitty is closer. for now i like being glued to yn, but after figuring out things so easily it's hard to keep quiet.

CHOI BEOMGYU 23 ( film ), with the amount of hate train behind me it's a miracle i am still breathing and in one piece. praying all this ends quickly and my life is returned back to me or i'll go crazy it has been like what two? three? years already! i need my freedom. i can count and name with my fingers the people who hate me. actually no it's everyone. anyways, i share all classes with heeseung and lord is it the scariest part of my life. at least yeonjun and soobin would need time to hunt me down but lee heeseung? he's right behind me two rows, staring down my every movement. look it's not my fault okay?

KANG TAEHYUN 22 ( communications ), it wasn't consensual. it is very important to clear this up. i did not give my papers to park sunghoon by choice. he had to pay me hefty for that so there's no thank you man, dude is pretending. and i am fucking sick of covering for heeseung all the time like dude grow balls, real balls dig up some manly guts and fucking do it before i lose patience and fuck shit up. every moment of listening to him lamenting over his feelings is the most frustrating shit ever. make him hear this one for god's fucking sake.

HUENING KAI 22 ( journalism ), no matter how much everyone denies it, i know they won't survive a day without me like? i provide sunoo with all the gossip of our side? how else do you think heeseung sneaks around yeonbin with his feelings? god it's me i do the passing the parcel of info. i mean taehyun is also involved with them but then i am more useful than that reality check of a guy, i mean who needs reality when you can live in a fantasy! hehe i just outdid everyone with that! or not anyway moving on yn's cr— SUNOO: shut the fuck up bitch!

𝐈𝐈𝐈 learn about THE GROUPCHATS.

01. HEEYN TRUTHERS heeseung, jay, jake, sunghoon, taehyun and sunoo: the group that has been supporting heeseung in pursuing his feelings since he first revealed it to them. for whenever he fucks up and they have to discuss how to save his ass. normal chats happen too.

02. BOSS BABIES yn, jungwon, riki: the trio that has been friends since middle school, and sticks together. yn spends most of her time with them, that is in college. often goes out to hangout and these two are yn's only actual friends!

03. SHOOTERZ 4 YN yeonjun, soobin, heeseung and jungwon: they use this chat to text each other whenever someone upsets yn or she's going somewhere alone and they need jungwon to secretly tag along to give them updates later.

04. PRINCESS & HER KNIGHTS yn, yeonjun, soobin and heeseung: the main stars— spoiled baby and her overprotective boys. usually text her when it has to do something with the four of them, like when yn goes out or she needs someone to pick her up or accompany her or when they have dinner at each other's place and someone's missing and likewise.

05. PSYCHOS W/ SICKOS yeonjun, soobin, beomgyu, taehyun, huening kai and heeseung: well this is heeseung's other friend group with the yn brothers' friends that become his own after a while. this is yeonbin dominated friend group chat and beomgyu is main character lmao

START THE STORY — prologue 𓈒 ‎𓈒 ‎𓈒

TAGLIST . ( OPEN ) @s00buwu @lilyuwon @pockyyasii @nctislifue @shawnyle @enhastolemyheart @aaa-sia @snoopypupp @criminalyun @oddracha @satan-223 @diorsyun @hooniehon @fakeuwus @caramelcandescence @intromortal @kookify @yutasberryy @sumzysworld @nikiswifiee @shuichi-sama @primroselover @rayofsunshineeee @aishigrey @yjwluvs @soraokkotsu @nyfwyeonjun @srhnyx @trashx678 @wondipity @winuvs @hoondiors @niniissus @firstclassjaylee @biancaness send an ask to be added! (if your comment goes unnoticed it is not my responsibility)

[novabl]

Yashiro And Doumeki: Chapter 58

With this chapter, I think a lot of us are feeling very bad for Yashiro. He seems so hurt by what Doumeki is doing. Typically, I make posts trying to defend Doumeki or look at things from his pov but I wanted to try to take into account both of their feelings and thought processes for this chapter because honestly I think they’re both feeling terrible about this whole fuckbuddy situation. Side note: I know some people don’t like the word fuckbuddy for their situation but Idk how else to refer to it. They’re not together but I know they’re in love and my use of the word fuckbuddy isn’t intended to diminish their relationship in any way.

I’ll start with my thoughts on Doumeki. There is a reason I make sure to emphasize that a lot of our analysis on Doumeki is based on interpretation and not necessarily how he really feels. If you have the opinion that Doumeki is planning and making moves with the endgoal of being with Yashiro, this whole situation where he has sex with Yashiro and leaves makes him look like a real asshole. I think it is easier to think that Doumeki is doing okay because he doesn’t really express that he is not. Compared to Yashiro, he seems better adjusted and since we don’t see his thoughts it is easier to assume he is less affected by all of this than Yashiro is. But I think we need to recall what Yashiro used to tell Doumeki. He used to say that he doesn’t think he can have romantic relationships and that he is only interested in sex. Doumeki seems to have taken that to heart as well as the fact that he doesn’t know that Yashiro has moved on from Kage and is no longer in love with him. Doumeki seems to think that Yashiro didn’t value the moments they had outside of sex because honestly that hasn’t been shown to him. I think we can sometimes underestimate the amount of pain he went through when Yashiro kicked him out. I think Doumeki is having sex with Yashiro because he wants to have some kind of a relationship with him and he is also HOPING that having sex with him will keep Yashiro from seeking out sex with others partly due to jealousy and partly to keep Yashiro safe since sex is a self destructive behavior for him. I emphasize hoping because he is not forcing Yashiro to be with him nor is he constantly hovering around to make sure that he doesn’t go to Inami or anyone else. He is giving Yashiro space while trying to satisfy something Yashiro claims he needs. The emphasis has always been on Yashiro’s pleasure because Doumeki still has his own issues on sex. Doumeki doesn’t want just sex but he feels that he has no other option. He also seems to be repeating the behavior of leaving because that is what he seems to think Yashiro wants based on volume 5.

As for Yashiro, we can see that he is deeply affected and saddened by this change in their dynamic. But when looking at the conversation of Yashiro’s flashback, I think he feels betrayed as well. The last page is amazingly done with the rain almost symbolizing his tears but his mouth seemed both angry and sad to me. I shared the page of Doumeki answering Yashiro and letting him know that Yashiro was different from others because it stands out to me more in comparison to the moment where Yashiro rips off the bandaid. Doumeki told him he was special but then seemingly is with Izumi and treating Yashiro like everyone else does? Doumeki’s words must feel like a lie. I think this feels different from Kage’s rejection not just because he loves Doumeki more but because Doumeki made him feel special only for him to act like he didn’t mean any of it. It isn’t very rational of Yashiro considering everything but both get blinded by emotion. At the end of the day, they’re both very hurt and acting in ways they think the other wants but it is important to keep in mind that both agreed to this kind of relationship. I feel that Yashiro will end up giving in but I also think he has a separate journey to go through before he can be truly with Doumeki that I may write about in a separate post.

[skywalker1dream]

Title: Love, Laughter, and Appendicitis

carlos sainz x reader

note: is 4:30am and i cant sleep so i was like why not write something and here it is...hope you like it, hope you are having a good day or night, dont forget to drink water and eat healthy...:)

Warnings: Fluff, Mention of Medical Procedures, Mild Language. thats it, i think?

-------------------------------

You sit in the stiff, uncomfortable chair beside Carlos' hospital bed, fingers entwined with his. The sterile smell of antiseptic fills the air, mingling with the faint scent of the flowers you'd brought earlier in the day. The rhythmic beeping of the heart monitor is a constant reminder of where you are and why you're here.

Carlos had been rushed to the hospital with a sudden bout of appendicitis. The surgery had gone smoothly, but the waiting had been torture. Now, as he lay recovering, his handsome face was relaxed in sleep, the worst of your worries were behind you. But you couldn’t help the anxiety that lingered, your eyes tracing the lines of his face, searching for any sign of discomfort.

Carlos Sr., his father, sits on the other side of the bed, a comforting presence in the otherwise clinical room. He’s been through this before, his calm demeanor a stark contrast to your still-frayed nerves.

Carlos stirs, his eyes fluttering open. You lean forward, your heart leaping as he wakes. His brown eyes are glazed, a side effect of the pain medication, but they light up when they find yours.

“Mi amor,” he slurs, a lazy smile spreading across his lips. “Did you bring the giraffes?”

You blink in confusion, glancing at Carlos Sr., who chuckles softly, his eyes twinkling with amusement. “Giraffes, Carlos?” you ask gently, brushing a strand of hair from his forehead.

“Sí, giraffes,” he insists, trying to nod but wincing slightly. “I wanted to ride one. In the… in the… where are we?”

“We’re in the hospital, love,” you say softly, squeezing his hand. “You had surgery, remember?”

He frowns, then his face lights up again. “Oh! The appendicit… appendici-thingy. I remember. It’s gone now, right?”

“Yes, it’s gone,” you reassure him, biting back a smile. “You’re going to be just fine.”

Carlos Sr. shakes his head, laughing quietly. “He’s never been good with pain meds,” he says, his voice filled with affection.

Carlos looks over at his father, his expression suddenly serious. “Papá, you promised to get me a hot air balloon. We need to go to… the moon.”

You can’t help but giggle at the absurdity of it all. Despite your worry, Carlos' delirious ramblings are endearing, his usual composed demeanor replaced with childlike wonder.

“We’ll get you that hot air balloon,” his father promises, playing along. “Just rest for now.”

Carlos seems satisfied with this answer, his eyes drifting closed again. But just as you think he’s fallen asleep, he squeezes your hand, looking up at you with a lopsided grin. “You’re so pretty, did you know that? Like a… a… pretty butterfly. No, wait… prettier.”

Your heart melts, and you press a kiss to his forehead. “Thank you, my love.”

He blinked slowly, his eyes focusing on you with some difficulty. "Hey, cariño," he slurred, his voice dreamy. "Did you know… you have the prettiest eyes? Like... two big... beautiful... stars."

You couldn't help but smile at his words, despite the situation. The anesthesia and pain meds were clearly affecting him. "Thank you, love," you said softly, brushing a strand of hair off his forehead.

Carlos Sr. chuckled from the other side of the bed. "He's going to be talking nonsense for a while. Don't worry, it's normal."

You nodded, but you couldn't stop the bubble of laughter that escaped your lips when Carlos continued. "And... and did you see the... the purple elephants? They were... they were dancing! So funny."

"Purple elephants?" you asked, your amusement growing. "I must have missed them."

Carlos laughed, a sound that was both loopy and endearing. "Yeah, they were... they were here. But they said... 'Carlos, you need to... to rest.' And I said... 'Okay, but only if... if my beautiful wife can stay.'"

Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes, a mix of relief and overwhelming love. "I'm right here, Carlos. I'm not going anywhere."

He sighed contentedly, squeezing your hand with surprising strength. "Good... 'cause... 'cause I love you so much. Did I tell you that today?"

Carlos Sr. shook his head, his shoulders shaking with silent laughter. "I think you have, but it's always nice to hear," he said, clearly enjoying the show.

You leaned down, pressing a gentle kiss to Carlos's forehead. "I love you too, Carlos. So, so much."

He beamed up at you, his eyes drifting shut again. "Good... 'cause... you're stuck with me... forever."

"As long as you don't go chasing any more purple elephants," you teased, feeling the tension in your chest finally start to ease.

few minutes later:

Carlos blinked slowly, his expression earnest despite his haze. "No, really," he insisted, his words tumbling out in a jumbled mess. "You’re like... like a goddess. My goddess. And we’re married. Did you know we’re married?"

Your worry melted away as you watched him, replaced by a warm, affectionate amusement. "Yes, Carlos, I know we’re married."

He nodded, as if this was the most profound revelation. "Good, good. Because I love you. So much. More than… more than racing."

His father laughed again, clearly enjoying his son's delirious state. "That's a bold statement coming from you, Carlos."

Carlos turned his head towards his father, his brow furrowing in confusion. "Papa? You’re here too? Are we having a party?"

You bit your lip to keep from laughing, a mix of relief and endearment washing over you. "No party, love. Just making sure you're okay."

Carlos's eyes grew wide, and he tried to sit up, only to be gently pushed back down by you. "Easy there, don’t hurt yourself."

He pouted slightly, a comical sight on his usually composed face. "I wanted to dance with you. Can we dance later?"

You nodded, brushing a stray lock of hair from his forehead. "Yes, we can dance later. When you’re feeling better."

Carlos sighed contentedly, his eyes drifting shut again. "Okay. I like dancing with you. And kissing you. Lots of kisses."

Carlos Sr. patted his son’s leg affectionately. "Rest, Carlos. You can do all the dancing and kissing you want once you’re better."

You watched as Carlos's breathing evened out, a serene look settling on his face. He sighs contentedly, his grip on your hand loosening as he finally drifts into a peaceful sleep. You sit back in your chair, feeling a wave of relief wash over you. Despite the unexpected twist in your day, Carlos’ silly, medicated declarations have put you at ease.

Carlos Sr. stands, stretching. “I’ll get us some coffee,” he says, patting your shoulder. “You’re doing great.”

“Thanks,” you say, smiling up at him. “And thank you for being here.”

He nods, giving you a reassuring smile before leaving the room. Alone with Carlos, you watch his chest rise and fall with each steady breath, your heart swelling with love for this incredible man.

Despite the chaos, the worry, and the gibberish about giraffes and hot air balloons, you wouldn’t trade this moment for anything. This is your life with Carlos, unpredictable, sometimes ridiculous, but always filled with love.

As Carlos sleeps, you allow yourself to relax a bit more, sinking back into the chair and letting the tension drain from your body. His peaceful expression reassures you, reminding you of all the wonderful moments you've shared and the many more you will create together.

A nurse comes in quietly to check on Carlos, her presence a gentle reminder of where you are. She smiles at you kindly, her movements efficient and unobtrusive.

"He’s doing well," she whispers after checking his vitals. "The meds will keep him a bit loopy for a while, but he’s on the mend."

You nod, grateful for her reassurance. “Thank you.”

Once she leaves, you return your attention to Carlos. His hair is slightly mussed, his lips still curled in that adorable, lopsided grin. You can’t help but reach out and run your fingers through his hair, your touch light and tender.

Carlos stirs again, blinking slowly as he regains consciousness. His eyes focus on you, and he smiles sleepily. “Hey, beautiful,” he murmurs, his voice rough with sleep. “Did we get to the moon yet?”

You laugh softly, shaking your head. “Not yet, my love. But soon, I promise.”

He chuckles, the sound warm and comforting. “Good. I need to plant a flag there. A big one, with our faces on it.”

“That sounds perfect,” you say, leaning in to kiss his cheek. “We’ll do that.”

Carlos Sr. returns with two cups of coffee, handing one to you before taking his seat again. “How’s our astronaut doing?” he asks, amusement twinkling in his eyes.

“He’s planning our next adventure,” you reply, sharing a smile with him. “We’re going to the moon.”

“Of course you are,” Carlos Sr. says, laughing. “He’s always been a dreamer.”

Carlos, still half-asleep, mumbles something unintelligible, and both you and his father chuckle softly. You take a sip of your coffee, the warmth and bitterness grounding you, reminding you that you’re not alone in this.

------------

The day passes slowly, the minutes ticking by with a strange blend of anxiety and calm. Nurses come and go, checking on Carlos and making sure he’s comfortable. Each time he wakes, he has something new and ridiculous to say, each statement more endearing than the last.

As evening falls, Carlos finally starts to become more coherent. His eyes clear, and his grip on your hand tightens. “Hey,” he says softly, his voice more steady now. “How long was I out?”

“Most of the day,” you say, brushing your thumb over the back of his hand. “You needed the rest.”

He sighs, nodding slowly. “I feel like I’ve been talking nonsense.”

“You have,” his father says with a grin. “But it’s been entertaining.”

Carlos groans, a blush creeping up his cheeks. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” you say quickly, squeezing his hand. “It’s been kind of cute, actually.”

“Cute?” he repeats, raising an eyebrow. “I’m glad you think so.”

You lean in, kissing him softly. “I’m just glad you’re okay.”

He smiles against your lips, his free hand coming up to cup your cheek. “I am, thanks to you. I love you.”

“I love you too,” you whisper, feeling your heart swell with emotion.

Carlos Sr. stands, stretching. “I’ll give you two some privacy,” he says with a knowing smile. “But don’t stay up too late. You both need your rest.”

“Thanks, papa,” Carlos says, his voice warm with gratitude.

As his father leaves the room, you settle into the chair beside Carlos, holding his hand and basking in the quiet intimacy of the moment. Despite the day’s chaos, you feel an overwhelming sense of peace. Carlos is here, safe and on the road to recovery, and that’s all that matters.

“Ready for that hot air balloon ride to the moon?” you tease, resting your head on the edge of his bed.

He chuckles, his eyes twinkling with amusement. “As long as you’re with me, I’m ready for anything.”

And in that moment, you know that no matter where life takes you, as long as you have Carlos by your side, everything will be just fine.

[suns-pott]

A caged bird.

Word count: 808

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"Ah, you're already awake, my dear."

He greeted you with that same infuriating smile, as he did every morning. His hand slithered around your shoulder as you sat by the window, your only way of seeing the outside.

"Why am I here?"

He flinched at your question, a slight twitch of anger, his wings fluttering slightly. "Angel, I have told you why."

"That's not good enough, you have to give me a real reason. I don't want to hear any more excuses about 'love' or 'safety'." You retorted back, turning around to face him. He ran a hand through his silvery hair, the locks still perfectly framing his face as usual. His voice sounded restrained, a small frown forming in his expression. "Darling, I have told you before, I don't want you going out there, it's far too dangerous."

"But you never elaborate on that any further, give me the real reason, Sunday." You turned away from the window to face him with a determined expression, his eye twitching in annoyance. "Drop it, Y/N."

He hasn't called you by your name in months, your words must have struck a chord with him, his stern expression stilling any words that could have formed on your tongue. You look down, gazing at his shoes instead, though he soon grabbed your chin with his thumb and index finger, pulling your head up, his expression softening once your eyes met his. "There is no need to worry, angel. I have been blessed with less work to do today, so I will return early this evening." He planted a small peck on your cheek, his heels tapping on the carpeted floor as the door closed with a click.

Three months, two weeks, three days, thirteen hours and nine minutes. That is how long you have been stuck in this room. Now that he is gone, you started your daily routine of looking for a way out, starting with the front door. Your hand pressed on the handle, and it surprisingly clicked open, revealing the rest of the Reverie hotel to your sight.

Your legs moved before your mind could, quickly walking out to see an odd sight. Though it looked like the hotel at first, the one in reality, it appeared to be quite the contrary. Dream bubbles floated around, furniture hung in the air, and no one was around. But, you thought he took you back to reality, the room certainly looked like it, but he kept you in the dream after all?

You ran through the hall, looking for any possible exit, a way out of this nightmare. Trying any door you came across, almost all of them were locked. Except for one, a door that led you out into what appeared closest to the lobby of the hotel, with more doors on the sides. You approached one, opening it and walking inside. The room appeared closest to the lobby of the- wait, the same room? You tried a different door, the one to the left of you, that one leading right back to the same room. You tried yet another door, that one leading right back to the same room, again. You felt tears welling in your eyes, continuing to run, you sprinted past each door you opened, though the result was always the same.

Your lungs felt as though they were on fire, your legs were sore and heavy as lead; though you persisted, looking for an exit at any cost. Eventually your body collapsed out of exhaustion, panting heavily as you lay on the ground. The only thing you had energy to do was cry. Pulling your knees into your chest as you buried your face in them, tears spilling from your eyes, until you felt a hand on your shoulder. You looked up, sniffling as you spotted the man who was the cause of your tears.

"Sunday..." You said in a meek voice, slowly sitting up to meet his sorrowful yet angered gaze. He pulled you into his embrace, lifting you up in his arms.

"Darling, what were you thinking? Running off on your own, you could have come across serious danger. Thankfully I had some precautions in place, to ensure you didn't wander too far." He released an exasperated sigh, his brows slightly furrowed, beginning to walk back towards the room you had previously been trapped in. "How did you know?" Your voice was barely a whisper, never daring to look in his eyes, though in the bleak silence of the room, he could still hear you perfectly. "Do you really think I wouldn't notice your absence? Come now, you are my pride and joy, I don't know what I would do without you. You're my angel, I must protect you to keep your presence at my side, even if it means clipping your beloved wings."

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Based on this fanart it's so fucking good omg

[i-am-baechu]

Chapter Eight

Wishes (M) (Season One) 

Summary: After a long day of classes, Min Yoongi decides to take a break at the music hall that has become his second home. He walks in with his cigarette lit and his blank expression quickly changes when he sees a girl playing his piano. The moment their eyes meet, their lives become complicated and Yoongi blames himself for her future pain. Was the love we had honest? 

Genre: Gang au!, college au!,  strangers to enemies (one-sided), strangers to lovers, slow burn, friendships, romance, angst,  little comedy, and smut

Main pairing: Gang leader! Min Yoongi x Pianist! Reader 

Warnings: Explicit language, smut, mature themes, gangs, violence, smoking cigarettes, drugs, and alcohol usage 

Author's note: I worked really late in the past two days and I had to stay longer! I’m sorry this is late but something big happens in this chapter to make up lol 

⇜ Masterlist ⇝

There’s something about the silence that's comforting. It’s this unspoken feeling that makes you feel at home. There’s no one to take it away and it's something that never changes. It’s always there. No matter how hard you try. Even in moments when you're with people that make you feel something, silence is always there. You're the one to blame for the silence and you have to take responsibility before things get worse. Before things get worse...

Y/N stared at him and it was a look that he never wanted to see, “Y/N...” 

“You lied to me...You’ve been lying to me.” 

“I did it-”

“Don’t repeat it. I trusted you...all this for what? To make me look like an idiot?” 

Yoongi shook his head and brought her into him as she tried to push him away, “You're not an idiot...don’t ever say that about yourself.” He glanced down at her to see her standing still and he wiped the blood off of her forehead, “Y/N, I couldn’t tell you.” 

“Let. Me. Go.” 

“I won’t...I will never let you go...Never.” 

Four Days Ago 

Y/N watched with amusement and waved at her. She walked towards Yoongi with her arms over her chest, “Déjà vu.”

“At least I know your brain works.”

“I wish I could say the same about you.” 

Yoongi shook his head and glanced at Namjoon, “We’ll talk about it later.”

“Fine.”

Y/N watched Namjoon walk away with annoyance in his step. She turned back to Yoongi and frowned, “What’s wrong with him?”

“Nothing, let me take you out.”

She raised her eyebrow and pursed her lips, “Taking me out?” 

“That’s what I said right, Bambi?” 

She snickered at this and sighed, “Fine, if I must. Where are you taking me?” 

“Seeing Lana.” 

The two walked side by side and this time Yoongi was the one that grabbed her hand. She glanced down and she couldn’t help but smile at the scene before her. Yoongi saw the smile and he couldn’t help but smile to himself. He rubbed her knuckles as the fall winds guided them to Lana’s restaurant. He opened the door and he raised his eyebrow, “If you're going to do that, lock the doors.”

“What’s happening?”

Yoongi moved his body to cover the scene from Y/N. Lana was on one of the tables with Hoseok on top of her. It was clear they were kissing with the lipstick stains on his lips and his flushed face. He was thanking god that he still had pants on. Hoseok let out a small cough and helped Lana off the table as she gave him a shy smile, “H-Hey...Why are you here?” 

“You're a restaurant owner, what do you think?”

He felt a small punch to his back and he glanced behind to see Y/N frowning at him, “Be nice.” 

He rolled his eyes and glanced back at Lana, “I wanted to eat with my Bambi.”

“Bambi?” 

Yoongi moved to the side and Y/N smiled at Lana, “Good afternoon.” 

Lana glanced at Hoseok who was just as surprised as her. She looked back at Y/N and waved, “I was wondering when I would see you again.” 

“I’m glad I made a good first impression.”

Hoseok glanced at Yoongi and saw a look he had only seen once. He watched Y/N going towards Lana with excitement and he turned towards his boss with a smile, “Happiness looks good on you.”

Yoongi raised his eyebrow at him and shook his head, “Don’t say stupid things.” 

“It’s not stupid when it's the truth. You called her “My Bambi”, or am I hearing things?” 

Yoongi let out a small cough, “Get back to work.” 

Hoseok let out a laugh and glanced at Y/N, “Where there is love there is no darkness...remember that.” 

Yoongi looked towards Y/N who was laughing with Lana and it felt like a freeze frame from a movie. All he saw was her smile and compassionate eyes. Something he wasn’t used to and never will be but he wants to be especially with her. He looked back at Hoseok with a frown, “With my darkness, it will just suck her up...and then what?” 

“You’ll save her.” 

“Hoseok are you leaving?”

Hoseok turned towards Lana and frowned, “Yeah but I’ll come by tonight.”

She nodded her head and walked towards him with a smile on her face. She leaned towards him and placed a kiss on his cheek, “I’ll see you tonight.”

Yoongi glanced at Y/N who was watching the scene with a smile and Yoongi could sense the feeling of wanting. She walked towards her and pushed some hair off of her shoulder, “What’s with that look?” 

“What look?” 

“It's a look of wanting.” 

She frowned and glanced at Lana and then back at Yoongi, “Having someone sounds nice...that’s all.” 

“Am I invisible now?” 

She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest, “You know what I mean.”

“Do I Bambi? Use your words.” He pushed some hair from her forehead and she glanced up but he ignored her eyes, “For someone that likes to talk, you're silent.” 

“So....do you guys want ramen?”

Yoongi moved away from her at record speed and nodded his head, “Yeah, can we have what we had last time.”

Lana smirked at him and nodded his head, “Of course.” 

Yoongi wrapped his arm around Y/N’s waist and headed towards the back. He glanced down when he felt her head leaning on him. It was a nice feeling. They sat in the booth and he placed his hand on top of hers. She looked up at him with a raised eyebrow and he continued to play with her knuckles, “You want someone?” 

He felt her stiff and he looked up to see her flushed in the face, “I think everyone wants someone...to love.” 

“Have you ever been in love, Y/N?” 

She let out a small laugh and shook her head, “No...never. Have you?” 

He looked her into her eyes and smirked, “Slowly.” 

She was confused and went to open her mouth but it was stopped by ramen bowls. Lana placed the bowls and smiled, “If you guys want any drinks just let me know.”

“Thank you so much, Lana.”

Lana smiled at Y/N and winked at her, “Anything for you Bambi.”

Yoongi glared at Lana, “I’m the only one that can call her that.” 

“Yes, Mr. Min.” 

Yoongi turned back to Y/N to see her smiling as Lana left, “What’s with that smile?”

“Nothing.” 

After eating, Yoongi took her to something he never showed anyone. Not even Namjoon. The walk was long and he offered her a piggy-back ride but she denied it (with a red face). He unlocked a gate and he felt her eyes on his back but he didn’t want to ruin the surprise. He grabbed her hand and smiled, “Do you trust me?” 

“I trust you.” 

They entered the small garden and he watched her eyes brighten up at the sight. There was a variety of roses blooming with lilies in the mix. He let go of her hand and placed his hands in his pockets as he watched her go towards the flowers. He smiled when he saw the excitement in her eyes. She turned back and was shocked at the sheer amount, “What is this?” 

Yoongi leaned against the wall and took a deep sniff of the garden, “It’s the last thing I have of my parents. When they died, they left a notebook with an address and the address is this. It was their garden, they wanted......they wanted me to show someone I care about.” Someone I love...

She glanced down at the lilies and smiled, “White lilies....”

He walked towards her and picked up the flower. He placed it in her hair and she stared at him with those wide doe eyes he came accustomed to, “Purity.” 

“They can also mean rebirth...fitting for you.”

He raised his eyebrow and creased her hair, “How so?”

“You don’t even realize that you're changing with me.” 

“Everything comes naturally with you.” He picked up a purple rose and placed it in her hands, “Everything.” 

“Purple rose?”

“A purple rose, Bambi. Decipher it.” 

She glanced down at the delicate flower and then back at him, “You tell me...” 

He leaned down and their forehead touched as she kept her eyes on his. He saw her eyes craving for an answer but he was a man that didn’t talk all that much. He leaned down and placed his lips on his and he let his actions tell her. He tilted his head and she followed his actions. The kiss wasn’t sexual like how he was used to but it was like the white lilies, pure. But it was also like the purple roses, love. 

When they leaned away, he placed his forehead on hers and she looked up at him, “A tyrant that’s poetic...how rare.” 

He chuckled and creased her cheek, “What’s rare is finding someone like you.” 

He watched her enter her house and he couldn’t help but feel like a teen again. A teenager who got his first kiss. It made him want to kick his feet up in joy. He started to walk back but stopped by Y/N’s school. He walked into the yard and looked around with full caution. He heard rumors about the school and how they had cases of gang action. The rumors were about a girl named Ana Jeon. Her father is a well-known mafia leader but her mother is a famous painter. They used the mother’s job as a cover-up. He just hopes that Ana isn’t involved with Y/N in any way.

He continued to walk around the campus and his eyes landed on an opening. A door that was left open. He raised his eyebrow at this, for a rich school their security should be better. He quietly went through the door, without touching the dark wood and entered. It looked like he was in a hallway and he tilted his head. There was a light at the end of the hall. His hand immediately went to his knife as he made his way slowly. 

He overheard a familiar voice and bit his lip, “The party is in two weeks. Remember that.”

He heard an annoyed sigh as he kept his back to the wall, “Why her? Out of everyone, her?” 

“She’s a L/N. The amount of power and money she has is more than any of you, Jessica, Ana. Remember your role.”

“Whatever Eunwoo.” 

Yoongi glared at the ground and had to hold back a curse. Y/N is too involved with this case and he didn’t like it. His only job is to protect her and protecting her is what he will do. He made his way out of the hall and quickly made his way back to the headquarters. 

He slammed the door and tossed his knife on the coffee table. Everyone looked at him with confused eyes but no one dared to say anything. It wasn’t until Jin left the kitchen to stand in front of Yoongi with worried eyes, “What’s wrong?” 

Yoongi ran his fingers through his hair and looked at Jin with pure anger, “That son of bitch Eunwoo...”

Jungkook glanced at Taehyung and then back at Yoongi, “What about him? We’re still collecting information on him.” 

“He wants...” Yoongi bit his lip and for the first time, his emotions took over him. He let tears appear and looked at Jin, “He wants Y/N. I-I don’t know what he wants but he wants her....fuck he wants her.” 

Yoongi dropped to his knees as Jimin made his way towards him in worry, “Yoongi...”

Namjoon watched with a frown and looked at the rest of the team, “Taehyung, keep a close eye on Y/N. Jungkook, you're going with him in case anything happens.” 

Yoongi looked up at him and let out a mocking laugh, “Why because she’s evidence?”

“No, because my brother is in love and the woman that he's in love with is in trouble.”  

“I never said I’m in love-’

“Let’s come up with a plan.” 

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

He heard the familiar piano playing in the large music hall and he felt at ease. The delicate music sent warmth to his heart and he slowly walked towards her with a cigarette in his mouth. He let out a puff of smoke and smiled, “Your music sounds happier.” 

She turned around and smiled, “I have many reasons to be happy.”

He raised his eyebrow and leaned against the piano, “Want to tell me the reason?” 

“I think you can figure it out.” 

“Can I?” 

She rolled her eyes and let out a laugh, “If one can figure it out then another can.” 

He smirked at this and put out his cigarette under his foot. He sat next to her and glanced down at the keys, “Do you know someone named Cha Eunwoo?” 

She raised her eyebrow and nodded his head, “Sadly. I’ve known him since I was a child...why? Do you know him?”

I want to kill him, “No, I just heard his name through other people.” 

She nodded her head at this and he could tell that she did not like Eunwoo, “That makes sense. He's talked about by everyone.” 

“Why is that?”

“Rich and popular. I like his dad more, his dad is friends with mine. He was nicer and not weird at all.” 

Yoongi played two notes and then nodded his head, “Eunwoo was weird?” 

“He’s always been weird towards me. My mom wanted me to marry him because of how close he was with my dad. My dad never said no but he also never said yes. He’s always trying to capture my eyes...it’s annoying.”

Yoongi stopped playing and turned towards her with seriousness in his eyes, “Stay away from him.”

She let out a small laugh and turned towards him. Her smile dropped when she saw the seriousness in his eyes, “Is everything alright? And don’t say it's nothing, your eyes tell me otherwise.” 

“He’s trouble.” 

“I already knew that...You don’t need to tell me to do something.” 

Yoongi sighed and placed his hand on top of hers, “I know just be safe.” 

“I will.”

“That party you’ve been talking about, when is it?” 

She raised her eyebrow but answered, “It’s in two weeks. Why?”

He reached into his pocket and placed a red lily in her hand, “Y/N, I would like to be your date.” 

She laughed at this and raised her eyebrow, “It’s my event. You do realize I should be the one asking you.” 

“Never traditional.” 

“Clearly...I was going to ask you but now I don’t want to answer you.”

“Bambi.” 

She rolled her eyes and looked away from him, “I guess I’ll have you as my date.” 

“You guess?”

“Yeah, I guess. I have a question for you.” 

Yoongi turned towards the piano and started to play, “Sure.”

“Why did I see Taehyung and Jungkook near my house?”

He stopped playing abruptly and looked at her, “What do you mean?” 

“Yoongi, I saw them. I also saw them at my school. Why? Tell me the truth.” 

Yoongi bit his lip and didn’t know what to say. The truth can hurt her but a lie can be agonizing. She was the beautiful garden with the different colors and he was the fire. Everything he touches turns into ash, everything. Maybe Namjoon was right. He shouldn’t be near her because look at where she is. In a problem that could cost her life and for what for selfish reasons. If he continues to see her then he's just as selfish. He wished this was another life with no problems and it was just them. That’s all he wanted. 

He swallowed some spit and let out a small cough, “Watching just in case they come and hurt you.”

“So they're doing your job?” 

“It’s extra security for you. It makes me feel better to know they’re there when I can’t be there for you.”

She looked away and he knew that it was because she was flushed in the face, “Why?” 

“Because I will always be there for you. No matter what.” I just have to be strong enough to walk away from you when the time comes... 

Tag List:

@hopefulrascalstatesmantoad @secfir @amberpanda99

@yoongibaybee

[melanieph321]

Just anything Josko

He seems so sweet and shy in public but I bet he’s super protective

Ofc ❤️

Joško Gvardiol x Reader - Tell Me I'm Yours

Enjoy!

You woke up alone, which was pretty sad. You told Joško to drop you off at your apartment after your date last night. However, he convinced you to stay with him. For the sex, you suspected.

You took a shower and got dress as the morning unfolded. After making yourself a nice little breakfast you really thought about going home. You had chores of your own that need to be done, and puttering around in some guy's apparment didn't exactly give you ahead start. However, Joško seemed so serious when he said, "I'll be back after training, please don't leave."

You really liked him, maybe even loved him. However, he had never made any indications that you were his girlfriend, nor had you been introduced to any of his friends. And now all of a sudden he felt the need to keep you locked up in his apartment.

"Fuck that." You thought. This life, this behavior, it could only mean two things. Either Joško had no experience on how to treat and keep a girl, or you were simply the side piece that he kept while running home to his real girlfriend every day.

"Fuck that."

You gathered your things and left the apparment.

A big mistake.

It was around eight o'clock in the evening when a loud knock rattled your door.

"Who is it?" You shouted.

No answer, just a repetition of the loud knocks.

"I have a knife!" You threatened. But what could a short girl with a knife do? Stab the intruder in the knee?

It took you alot of courage to open the door, a gasp escaping your mouth as you did. "Joško?"

He stood clenching his jaw, eyes dark and eyebrows furrowed. "You left." He groand.

"I...I did."

"I told you not to leave."

"I'm sorry Joško, but I was not gonna...."

"You promised not to leave."

You let out a shriek as Joško threw you over his shoulder, closing the door behind you.

"Joško, put me down." You laughed. You had no idea where the laughter came from as it was a very stressful situation.

Joško carried you through your apartment towards the living room, where he lay you down on the couch. The look on his face changed, his expression faltering. Leaving him might truly have hurt his feelings. He was still wearing his training attire, and you imagined the look on his face when he arrived back to his apartment only to find it empty and abandoned by you.

"What must I do to keep you?" Joško said, lowering himself to kiss your neck.

"Tell me I'm yours." You whimpered.

"You're mine, of course you're mine Y/N." He had begun rushing things now, skipping the foreplay, going straight to pulll down your pants and his.

"Tell me I'm the only one."

"You're the only one Y/N, why do you think I wanted to keep you with me?"

"Why?" You asked, your voice in your throat as Joško aligned himself with your entrance, easing into you in case you weren't completely ready for him. You were however. You were ready and eager to have him inside of you.

"Fuck Joško."

He laughed against your skin. "You like that?"

"Yes." You moaned.

"Me too, you feel so good baby, so tight."

He thrusted in and out of you while cradling your body, raising his head with every jerk, as if to check on you.

"You never answered my question." You said, as his urge for your body blew over, and the previously rough kisses turned into sweet pecks to your cheeks.

"What question?" Joško frowned.

"Why did you want to keep me at your apartment all day?"

He pushed off the cuchens to meet your eyes. His gaze is gentle, almost loving. At that moment, you realized that perhaps you were the only one.

"The first and last thing I see." He muttered.

"Come again?" Now was really not the time for riddles.

Joško smiled, a rare smile that perhaps was only meant for your eyes and your eyes only. "I want you to be the first person I see when I wake up in the morning and the last person I see before I go to bed in the evening. That's why I wanted to keep you in my apartment baby. Because I love you and need you."

Your hand ran through his hair, coming to a rest at the nape of his neck. You pulled him down to meet your lips, kissing him until you felt the rest of him come alive again. "I need you too." You whispered. "I need you now and forever."

[totkdaily]

Day 85: Attack on Gerudo Town

The attack on Gerudo Town begins. 

It's hard to keep an eye on all the gates at once, and the sand makes it hard to move quickly.

I focus on taking out the hives first - and then we mop up the remaining gibdo. Gerudo Town is safe again, for now. 

Debriefing afterwards, Riju noticed that the gibdo hives became sand when they were destroyed. She wonders if the gibdo and the sand are more connected than we thought. It's a shame she and Zelda haven't had cause to spend much time together - it's exactly the kind of observation the Princess would love. 

Now that the threat is passed, we can discuss Riju's summons. She wants to show me something down in the shelter. 

Past the rolling door below is the vibrant Gerudo community I remember. I'm glad it's surviving this much, at least. 

A young girl, Delia, immediately runs up to me - and we're told off by Lorn. She's too young to talk to Voe. Lorn does not want me here - too bad. 

I find Cara, the accessory designer. I remember the shop owner she mentions - apparently she went out for supplies and hasn't come back yet. The desert must be littered with lost people. We need to sort that sand shroud. Cara says she went to the Toruma Dunes - where there are Molduga. Great. 

Beside a strangely familiar orb, I meet Rotana, a scholar. She's working on deciphering stelae, writings on stone pillars. This one says: 

“The seven heroines who protect the Gerudo. Their secret will be expressed on six stelae.”

On the other stela she has, it says: 

“The seven heroines who protect the Gerudo. And eighth channels and guides the powers of these seven.”

Rotana says the heroines are so ancient nothing is known about them - not even if they should be worshiped as a collective or as individuals. Apparently there may even have only been one at all - or conversely, eight! Hence the eighth heroine statue in the Highlands, I suppose. 

She wants to find the other four stelae and make her name in archeology. She thinks they'll be underground. I shall look out. 

I find Riju looking at a mural surrounded by water.

“Standing back-to-back with the throne, witness red pillars across a vast sea. Unite the pillars in light to reveal the lightning stone and open the way. You who can hear my voice, come to me. I await you.”

Incredible. Words directly from the sage, preserved here. 

It sounds like I should start at the throne. But I want to explore this shelter first. 

I find one of Rotana's stelae behind some crumbling rock.

She translates it as:

“The seven heroines protect the Gerudo with the powers of heart, skill, fortitude, wisdom, flight, mobility, and compassion.”

There's a Hylian here, Jules. She warns me not to misbehave - there's already a man in jail. I miss the inconspicuousness of my Gerudo clothes…

There's a kid called Aaqlet - that's the name the guy in jail said as I went by. Poor guy, he probably just came to check on his kid. And her mum isn't here either, she's working at the secret clothes shop. Aaqlet has a map, which I should follow at some point. 

The spa and the wine bar have moved down here, so at least people are still managing to do business. 

I cross the main hall again to explore the other side - and fall down a hole! The short drop ends with a splash. There's a message in a bottle.

“It's you! At long last! You, the voe reading this letter, are the voe I was fated to meet! And I am the vai you were destined for! You must hurry and rescue me! I am locked away from the outside world! Do not worry though! I will send all of my love to you until you come and find me. Stay safe and know that we will meet soon. It is our destiny, after all! -Calyban”

Oh dear. I should just put this back in the water. But where does this tunnel go, anyway? 

A bunch of places: a house in Gerudo Town, a circular path that needed blasting open, and finally a korok panel. I ascend through the tunnel and head back to the shelter. 

I find Calyban by the large hole in the shelter floor, but she wants to be left alone. Fair enough.

Another kid, Kalani, also hides her face when I approach. I leave her be and stop at the goddess statue. 

In exchange for the four Sage's Wills I've found, I grant Tulin a stronger attack. I also get three heart containers, to hopefully make it harder to blow myself up. 

I stop in at a classroom, and find myself in use as a teaching aid. Nali is too shy to look at me - but I do have that Sheikah mask… it's not enough for her. I don't actually think I have any full-face masks - I'll have to come back. 

Past where the sand seals are hanging out, I find a room that's almost a miniature of the valley of the seven heroines.

I wonder… I've seen a  few small orbs around. This would seem to be the place for them. I wonder what happens if I find them all.

I find a buried and broken stela, and manage to blow away the sand and put it back together again.

Beyond, a much larger tunnel. The valley of silent statues. 

It's already been a long day - in fact, it's nearly over. But I want to know what's down here… 

I find Nellie, who's been exploring down here a little. She doesn't seem to think much of it though - she's heading back to the canteen. 

Let's find out for myself…

[tenander]

Happy VDay, I love @ophexis and @cuyguy and @veitstanz and am very grateful they are in my life and I get to be in theirs!

[yuujispinkhair]

Sukuna showing you his love and appreciation on Mother's Day

Modern!Sukuna x Reader (female). fluff + smut. wc 2k

Warnings: 18+, smut, oral (female receiving), creampie, praise, pregnancy. Reader and Sukuna already have a daughter together, and reader is pregnant with Sukuna's second baby. Minors don't interact. Divider @/benkeibear + @/qqmaiztwsse. This story can be read as part 2 of this baby daddy Sukuna story, but you don't have to read the first part.

You wake up to the mattress shifting under Sukuna's weight, as he is carefully untangling himself from you, trying not to wake you up. You blink sleepily and watch your husband get up, unable to tear your gaze away from Sukuna's broad, tattooed back and the way his buff muscles move when he stretches.

Of course, he catches you checking him out and smirks that typical charming smirk at you as you are about to sit up. But Sukuna is quicker. He leans down to press a kiss to your cheek and pushes you gently back down on the pillow,

"Uh uh, no getting up yet. I still need time to prepare some things. Go back to sleep, darling. Happy Mother's Day."

You smile and snuggle back into your blanket, watching Sukuna getting dressed before he leaves the bedroom with one last look over his broad shoulder and an amused wink.

When you wake up the second time that morning, the lovely scent of coffee and freshly baked muffins drifts to your nose. And the loud chatter of your little daughter and Sukuna. You grin to yourself as you hear them in front of the bedroom door, arguing over who gets to wake you up.

"She is my mommy and not yours!"

"But she is my wife!"

"Oh, Daddy, don't be stupid! It's called Mother's Day, not Wife's Day!"

You hear Sukuna sigh dramatically, and you can practically see his amused grin and the way he rolls his beautiful maroon eyes in mock exasperation.

"Ok, ok, I will let you wake her up, princess. Do you have your present?"

The answer seems to be yes because a second later, the door gets pushed open, and your daughter runs over to the bed and jumps onto it, pushing the gift she made for you in kindergarten in your face: A painting with a heart and flowers and four figures, you, her, and Sukuna, and in your tummy little baby number two.

You thank her profusely, hugging her and letting her explain the painting to you when Sukuna joins you on the bed with a beautiful rose bouquet in his arms and a little gift bag from your favorite skincare brand.

You smile at your little princess and your husband, thanking them for the gifts and marveling at how similar they look. She has your eyes, but you can see her father's features in her pretty face, and when her lips lift in a grin, it is a 100% match to the grin that you love so much on Sukuna's face.

You lift your head to look at Sukuna, realizing that he is watching you and your daughter too. There is an unguarded, soft expression on his beautiful, tattooed face. An expression that makes your heart fill with tenderness for this tough man who is so good to you and your daughter.

A strong arm wraps around your waist at that moment, and Sukuna pulls you closer to him. And you cup his cheek and smile at him as he closes the small distance between you to kiss you, but not before he whispers, "Thank you."

The breakfast table is overflowing with things. The coffee and homemade muffins you already smelled, but also various sweet and savory treats from the bakery down the street. And flowers that your daughter picked this morning with her daddy in the park.

You smile as you imagine big, tall Sukuna with his intimidating tattoos and arrogant smirk, picking pretty flowers with his little daughter and the looks the two of them must have received from the grandmas taking their morning walk in the park.

You get up to help with the dishes after you're finished eating, but Sukuna sends a stern look your way, shaking his head, 

"What do you think you are doing? Sit back down."

He points at his daughter,

"You stay here and make sure your mommy doesn't lift a single finger."

You laugh and lean back in your chair, taking another sip from the orange juice as you watch Sukuna do the dishes and clean the kitchen.

The three of you spend the rest of the day together, going on a long walk in the park. Your little one is running ahead while you and Sukuna stroll leisurely side by side, with his arm around your waist or you leaning against his side and holding onto his biceps.

You make a stop at an ice cream parlor, eat ice cream, and drink coffee afterward while your daughter plays on the playground in front of the little shop.

Before you know it, Sukuna has pulled you onto his lap. He holds you with one arm while he sips his coffee with the other and grins that boyish grin at you that always makes your pulse flutter, no matter how often you see it.

Sukuna's large hand is sprawled over your belly, where the swell of your baby bump is already visible. He caresses it absentmindedly, making you smile because you know how proud he is that you are pregnant with his second baby.

And right at that moment, a soft kiss lands on your shoulder, and Sukuna murmurs in a sexy low voice, only for you to hear,

"You are so beautiful, mommy."

When it's time to go home, your daughter, of course, complains loudly that she doesn't want to leave yet, but Sukuna just jogs over to her with a smirk, plucks her off the jungle gym with ease, and casually throws her over one shoulder.

You laugh when you see her kick her little legs and scream, only to realize a minute later that it's very comfortable to get carried by her daddy, and she stops struggling and instead slumps lazily onto her father's broad shoulder.

Sukuna's low laugh joins yours,

"You are acting like a sack of rice. Be careful I don't mix things up and accidentally make dinner out of you."

"Oh yeah? And you look like a strawberry with your pink hair. Be careful I don't make dessert out of you, Daddy!"

"Well, I would definitely make a great dessert! But I have to inform you that I am actually a full-course meal, young lady."

You burst out laughing again, affectionately ruffling your daughters and Sukuna's hair, thinking how similar they are not just in looks but also in their personalities.

Your daughter still refuses to walk on her own, but luckily, Sukuna is strong and doesn't even break a sweat while carrying her all the way home to your apartment. And you grin to yourself, knowing how loving Sukuna is when it comes to his little family. A strong and protective man who would do anything for you and your babies. Your little daughter has calmed down again, too, and snuggles against Sukuna, hugging his neck and almost falling asleep right there on her father's shoulder.

A few hours later, your apartment is quiet, with your daughter fast asleep in her room, and the lights dimmed.

And Sukuna and you have some time only for each other.

He pulls you into his strong arms, pressing his tall, firm body against yours, and kisses you thoroughly. Tender and deep kisses that make your knees weak.

And when your lips part, there is this tender expression on Sukuna's face that is only reserved for you.

"Thank you for all the love you give our little brat. And all the love you give me. Thank you for making this apartment a home. I never thought I would have a real home or a real family. But you gave me all that and I am so grateful for you. I love you, darling."

Sukuna swoops you up in his strong arms and carries you to your bedroom while you smile at him with tears in your eyes, telling him that you love him too, while you caress the short hair of his undercut, your heart feeling so full.

You lock the bedroom door and immediately begin to undress each other on your way over to the large bed. You moan at the feel of Sukuna's buff muscles under your hands, and he groans when he places you on the bed and lets his hungry gaze travel slowly over your naked body.

There were times when you felt insecure and ashamed at the thought of being so exposed to someone's gaze. But not anymore. With Sukuna, you feel desired, loved, and your body reacts to his loving gaze, your nipples hardening and your pussy wet and yearning for Sukuna's cock.

He leans over you, so tall and big but so loving. Sukuna always spoils you in bed, but especially tonight, on Mother's Day, the day that exists to show you his appreciation.

You are drowning in bliss as Sukuna's lips and tongue wander down your body slowly, loving you, worshipping the body of the woman he loves, the body of the mother of his children. He makes you feel sexy like no other man before him did, even with the changes your body went through after the first pregnancy and your current pregnancy.

You mewl softly when Sukuna plays with your sensitive breasts, which are already filling out more again due to the pregnancy hormones, cupping them with his large hands and sucking gently on your stiff nipples. His mouth wanders to your swollen belly, trailing kisses over the bump where his baby number two is growing.

Your hips buck needily when Sukuna pushes your legs apart and trails tender kisses over your inner thighs before he reaches his goal and slowly makes out with your swollen clit. Your heart is racing, your mind hazy as you give yourself to your husband completely, letting him pamper you and show you how grateful he is for you.

Your first orgasm that night is on Sukuna's tongue. Hot pleasure explodes inside you while your fingers twist in his pink hair and tug on it as you throw your head back and moan his name softly, shuddering on his velvety mouth as he licks and kisses you through your high.

The second one is on Sukuna's cock when he takes you with slow but deep thrusts while you lie on your side so it's comfortable for you with your baby bump. And Sukuna is behind you, his strong muscular arms wrapped tightly around you, holding you while he rolls his hips against you, fucking his long and thick cock deep into you. 

Sukuna's face is buried in your neck, and you get blessed with hearing his sexy, low moans. One of his large hands is on your pregnant belly, while the other is between your legs, caressing tender circles around your clit. His lips brush over your neck, kissing you, moaning softly in utter bliss and devotion, and whispering to you how beautiful you are, how sexy, murmuring his praise and love to you in that sexy, hoarse voice that drives you crazy.

Sukuna's hand clamps over your mouth just in time for your orgasm, and you squeal into his large hand as you cum on his cock, twitching and clenching on him, milking his hot, sticky seed out of him, that he spills into you with a low, guttural moan.

You stay in that position afterward, cuddling while lying on your side, Sukuna hugging you tightly from behind, his thick cock still deep inside you.

You lazily trace the tattoos on Sukuna's wrists with one hand while your other hand reaches behind to tangle in Sukuna's soft pink hair as you turn your head to let him kiss you tenderly.

"You are so fucking beautiful. I might just make you a mommy again."

"I imagine that to be a bit hard when I am already very pregnant with your baby, Kuna."

And he laughs and kisses your shoulder, his smile evident in his voice,

"Doesn't mean I can't try."

HE IS SO 💗💗 Thank you so much for reading!! I hope you enjoyed your time with Daddy Sukuna ;)

Comments and reblogs would be very sweet 💗

[drchucktingle]

my masks

hey there buckaroos. due to all of the attention the TEXAS LIBRARY ASSOCIATION situation has gotten i am going to take a minute to talk about my personal way as an autistic buckaroo. im going to tell you about my masks.

im doing this for a few reasons, some are good FUN reasons full of love and some are not so great. 

lets start with the GOOD STUFF. first of all, i am talking about this because speaking on my way can help other buckaroo feel more comfortable speaking on there own way, ESPECIALLY if they are good at ‘passing’ for neurotypical like chuck is. 

unfortunately the NOT SO GREAT reasons im talking about all this dang stuff are two fold. reason one: i have been put into a position of having to explain and justify my needs and boundaries by the TXLA. this is not something that i WANT to be taking up all of my time, but when large organizations do not make space for those who they have pledged to support, it puts us smaller buckaroos into position where were have to defend our existence. it is not plesent but it is necessary.

the second NOT SO GREAT reason is that ‘passing’ bisexual and autistic people like myself are ALWAYS just seconds from being gatekept from folks both outside and inside these communities. there will probably be a day on chucks deathbed where i take off my mask and say hello to this timeline (mostly so you can all see how handsome i am under here but I DIGRESS). i KNOW with absolute certainty (the same way other bi and autistic buckaroos are probably nodding along right now) that when that day comes i will STILL be accused of ‘not being real’ and ‘faking’ because i ‘dont look autistic’ and i have a beautiful ladybuck partner in sweet barbara.

ALL THAT IS TO SAY, i am taking a moment today to talk FOR THE RECORD about my neurodigence and my particular needs. hopefully i will not have to keep diving this deep every time an organization takes a discrimantory action against me, but i will also say this: at least it is a good fight on an important battlefield

anyway buds, here is the story of my way on the spectrum

when i was a young buckaroo i knew that my thought process was different. i could socialize easily, which is unique in contrast to many autistic buds (it is a spectrum after all), but my social ease was for an interesting reason. I ALWAYS KNEW WHAT OTHERS WERE ABOUT TO SAY. it was like a strange ‘human game’ where someone would say one thing and i would think ‘well you actually mean something else’ in a sort of logical way (this is why i later related to DATA from star trek so dang much). at first i remember thinking ‘well i am just NOT going to play along with this human game’. i quickly learned neurotypical buckaroos do not like this, that there is a BOB AND WEAVE to social interactions that must be learned. 

later i realized ‘actually if i WANT to make friends and prove love is real then i can do this like an expert because i can SEE the game where most cant’. this got chuck many buds and took me on many adventures. please understand, i am not saying these connections are not important to me, they are just different. they are full of love, but i express this in my own unique way.

HOWEVER, while growing up i felt disconnected from this timeline in other ways, like an alien or a reverse twin trotting along in a world that is not quite my own. i did not feel emotions the same way my buds did. they would get upset over the ‘human game’ interactions and i would not be moved at all, HOWEVER i could see the way sunlight hit a window and start crying my dang eyes out over the beauty. so my emotion was still there and VERY STRONG, i just felt it in more existential ways (like hearing the call of the lonesome train). these days that feeling has progressed to where i am pretty much in a constant blissed out state of cosmic emotional connection (make of that last sentence what you will, but it is the truth). when i make existential posts online i am not just FIRING OFF SOME CONTENT, i really mean every word. this is really my trot.

anyway as a young buckaroo these feelings made me worry sometimes. i thought about various mental health dianosises and marked the parts and pieces that matched with myself. am i this? am i that? sometimes, instead of just being’ different’ i worried i might actually be ‘wrong’. 

when i saw david byrne on letterman in my younger days i immediately recognized something connected to myself. i thought ‘wow this is the mystery being solved before my very eyes.’ i could hear it in the music of talking heads too. i started doing research and realized that i might be on autism spectrum, something that was later confirmed by a therapist (back then the diagnosis was called asperger's). it was a glorious and fulfilling moment. i was SO EXCITED TO BE AUTISTIC LIKE MY HERO. i felt very cool because of it, and i still feel very cool because of it.

one of the big reasons i talk so much about being autistic these days is because i want to make sure OTHER buckaroos can have that same moment that i did. they can see chuck and think ‘wow i really like this autistic artist, maybe being autistic is cool’

so what does an average day WITHOUT wearing the pink bag look like for me?

my thought process is exactly like ROSE from CAMP DAMASCUS, which is part of why i wrote the book. we have the same stim (complex order of finger taps), we prepare for social interactions the same way, we analyze things in the same logical trot that neurotypical people might think feels ‘detached’ but for me feels natural (certain reviews of camp damascus are very funny to me in this way. you can tell when a reader is just very confused by existing in an autistic brain for 250 pages.)

from the outside you would not be able to tell that i am on the spectrum. in fact you would probably find me very socially adept. 

the problem is, all of that masking can take its toll. i spent years trotting in and out the emergency room, talking to confused doctors who could not figure out the chronic phantom tension and pain that radiated through my body. i eventually accepted the fact that i would either live a life constantly on heavy painkillers or just stop living altogether.

eventually, however, i started noticing a correlation between the way that i felt, and the space that i allowed for chuck and the pink mask. i was exercising that tension, allowing my mental mask of neurotypical existence to take a rest. i started practicing physical therapy and this time THE RESULTS STUCK because i was approaching from two sides, MIND AND BODY. after a while, i got my pain down to about 5 percent of what it once was. i still have flare ups in times of stress, but the healing has been very real and life changing.

lets get VERY specific now. if i attended the TXLA confrence without a mask and gave my talk i can tell you this: i would do a dang good job. i can work the heck out of a crowd and (not to reveal too much about my secret way) I HAVE BEEN KNOWN TO DO THIS ON OCCASION VERY WELL. however, going home from this event i would very likely be in pain. i would likely need to do physical therapy. i would likely need to stim for a while. i would NOT be emotionally fullfilled in the same way. in other words, without my pink mask i can charm the heck out of buckaroos, but THE SPACE OF CHUCK TINGLE IS NOT THE SPACE FOR THAT. the pink bag is a place for me to not have to put up with that tension. it is a place for me to unmask mentally by masking physically.

this pink bag space SAVED MY LIFE and i am not going to risk blurring these lines. if and when that ever happens it will be MY decision, not someone elses. that is my boundary. the part of me that neurotypically masks could handle a library conference in a purely technical sense, but the part of me that chuck represents absolutely cannot and should not be asked to do that without the pink bag. unfortunately, the complexity of this point makes it even MORE difficult for me to think about and takes up even more of my time, because it forces me to START QUESTIONING MYSELF and my own needs. to be honest, that is the most insidious part of other people questioning your identify and refusing to accept your accommodation needs without ‘proof’.

the thing is, while all of this discussion of disability and accessibility is important, i have a much larger point to make by writing these words.

a conference should not uninvite someone with an unusual physical presentation or a strange way of speaking REGARDLESS of it being classified as a disability. it does not matter WHY i look the way that i look and wear what i wear. i should not have to spend all day writing this post instead of writing my next book, just because my sensibilities are unique and my presentation is unusual. 

fortunately the solution is very simple: let other people be themselves. its not hurting you to simply accept and nod at the buckaroos you think look strange. let us exist

[onlyswan]

summary: in which for you, jungkook would commit crimes and his mother would peel oranges.

idol!jk x reader | fluff, angst | word count: 9.5k

warnings/content: oc passes out in the shower / jk does something crazy i’m literally insane about this / baby bam cameo 🥺 / stitches >:( / blood draw / mention of speeding / jealous not but rlly jealous oc is pissed owfffff at the nurse who has a crush on jk lmao / jk and his mom loves them to death tho so obv who wins / love is beautiful let’s all cry <3

> in which masterlist!

note: *sitcom sound effect of crowd cheering* I’M BACK 🥰 hope u enjoy the product of my madness during finals season hehehe. and special thanks to my cutieful proofreader rio!! you’re one of my most favorite people i’ve ever met 🥺💕 + my beloveds who came to the rescue when i had medical questions !! i didn’t expect to receive help from soooo many and i’m so freaking grateful i could cri :")

—

“i ordered it the other day. how did it arrive so early?”

jungkook walks back inside the apartment, arms occupied by a stack of boxes that arrived in the mail yesterday.

he arrives at the living room, head tilting to the side in confusion when he realizes that the netflix show he was watching on the television is no longer playing. instead, there is the news channel.

he gasps.

“baby, you’re alive!”

your swollen eyes flicker up to him.

you’re lying on the sofa with your legs lazily dangling on the edge. there’s a toothbrush in your mouth, foam of bubbles between your lips, but your arm barely exerts the energy to make it do its job.

“you were asleep from afternoon to morning. do you know that? you’ve never done that before!” he exclaims, carelessly tossing the boxes on the floor. “i was getting scared!”

you only hum to acknowledge his existence, pushing yourself up from the sofa and unknowingly dodging the hug your boyfriend wanted to greet you with.

he ends up collapsing face first on the empty space you left, hurt and offended.

the bathroom door opens and closes.

he flips over, whining. “yah, we didn’t see each other for a day. didn’t you miss me?!”

still not a single word from you. sleeping that long must not have cured your exhaustion, jungkook surmises. you tend to be glum and cranky when you’re feeling unwell, as is usually the case when you wake up as unrested as before.

he doesn’t always know how to make you feel better, but he always tries anyway.

“our new bedsheets arrived!” he announces from the other side of the bathroom door, making himself loud so that you can hear him despite the shower running. “do you want to unbox them with me?!”

he allows the seconds to pass, but with his hands on his hips, he eventually begins to tap his foot on the floor.

“baby? may i go in?”

he turns the knob, just to be prepared incase the answer is a yes, but it doesn’t turn. a sad pout forms on his face.

huh? why is it locked?

you must genuinely don’t want to be bothered today.

“guess that’s a no.” he mutters to himself before calling out to you. “okay, i’ll wait for you!”

with a crestfallen sigh, he begins to walk back to the living room.

he doesn’t go far, however.

only several steps later, a series of loud crashes is heard from the bathroom and his heart thunders in his chest with a combination of numbing shock and fear.

“____, what was that?! did you fall?!”

he aggressively pounds at the door, extremely desperate this time around. he has no plans on leaving until he knows that you’re safe and sound.

“baby! open this! are you alright…? are you hurt? you’re scaring me. please, answer!”

he pauses, catching his breath as his mind runs a thousand miles per hour.

“____!”

he strikes the door with an open palm one more time, more so to express his frustration that is only growing worse with every tick of the clock. he only ends up hurting himself in the process.

“that’s it! i’m opening the door!”

he frantically whips his head around, racking his brain for the location of the key. there are two copies of it somewhere in the apartment, but in his panicked state, he is unable to pinpoint either of their specific spots. and he can’t fucking afford to waste any more time.

“ah, fuck!” he curses, left with no other choice but to give in to the instinct of breaking down the door with the strength and durability of his body alone.

he would most definitely break his shoulder first before the door.

only after the first try, that much is clear.

and so, with madness inconsiderate of his agony, he resorts to kicking it over and over again.

the repeated loud collisions rattles poor bam from his slumber. not long after, the dog’s barking creates a booming dissonance with his grunts and kicks at the door.

when it finally swings open, the force of his own body sends him stumbling on the bathroom floor, but he doesn’t waste time in bouncing back to his feet.

the twisting of his stomach is instantaneous.

there lies your naked, unconscious figure behind the glass— surrounded by bottles of hair and body products that must have fallen when your hands were searching for something to hold on to.

his voice cracks, breathless.

“baby, no… no, no, no.”

he kneels on the floor, and despite the strong urge to carry you out of there, he tries to calm down. it’s the first rule in every emergency case; professionals reiterate in seminars and news channel segments.

keep calm. keep calm. keep calm.

he won’t be able to forgive himself if he ends up causing more harm than good.

“____, can you hear me?!”

his instinct tells him to inspect every inch of you for any sign of injury, but then his vision becomes too blurry. he curses at the hindrance and forces himself to turn off the showerhead that was left running.

he harshly wipes his face, rushing back to you.

“please, please, please. wake up.” he begs.

he has a feeling that it’s futile. you can’t hear him and he’s wasting his breath. the thing is he doesn’t know what else to do.

“baby…”

he carefully turns your head over, almost relieved because he hasn’t seen blood so far.

almost.

at last, he gets a full view of your face, and he finds blood dripping. this has always been one of his most paralyzing fears— seeing you get hurt. now that it’s become a reality, there’s a part of him that wants to believe this is some kind of twisted dream.

“how- how did this even happen…?” he cries out, his own blood running cold.

for everything that happens after, his body acts on its own. bam is a constant presence in his peripheral, but he is barely in his right mind to acknowledge the presence aside from, “bam, move. daddy might step on you.”

he carries you out of the bathroom, kicking aside the beaten up door. he has made up his mind about bringing you to the hospital, but he can’t bring you like… this.

he lays you down on the bed, all that gentleness switched off in a split second so he can sprint to the walk-in closet. he hastily grabs whatever is on top of your neatly folded stacks of shirts and pants; and then a fresh towel on the way out. the gentleness returns as he pats your face dry, the pure white stained with dark red. he flips the towel and uses the other side to wipe the rest of your body, in a race against time but mindful of treating you like fragile glass.

once that is over, he dresses you in a pair of gray sweatpants, and with some difficulty, an orange t-shirt.

any person with functioning eyes will be able to tell that the shades don’t go together.

if you were conscious, you’d definitely berate him for making you wear this outfit.

but you’re not.

jungkook effortlessly swoops you in his arms— dripping wet hair, his and yours, leaving behind a trail of raindrops from your apartment floor to the cemented parking lot.

—

your body feels like it’s floating.

are you dreaming…?

you must be dreaming.

you hear an uncoordinated symphony of voices, but you can’t comprehend a word. in pursuit of clarity, you force yourself to open your eyes.

the voices grow a little louder. faceless figures hover you; a bright light shines over your face.

your senses must be playing cruel tricks. now it feels like you’re drowning, sinking into the unknown, and your body has succumbed into numbing defeat.

you want to sleep a little more.

you must truly be exhausted. it’s okay.

you’ve fought hard until now. you’ve done enough… has anyone tried in life as much as you did?

just as your eyes flutter shut, you regain sensation of your hand; a soft squeeze and a call of your name.

—

jungkook gently strokes your hair, sighing for the nth time since you got transferred to a private room. he’s relieved that all the scans came back clean so serious head and brain injuries have been ruled out. the doctor also asked him questions and ran some other tests before concluding that electrolyte imbalance caused you to pass out; the culmination of stress and fatigue from work, as well as your strong period, most likely being the main reasons. he didn’t even know about the latter until you stained the white sheets with blood.

it was fucking frightening being in the sidelines as they rushed to check on your vitals and to administer oxygen. even now, it’s unbearable to see you with a needle in your hand and a few stitches above your eyebrow. he already anticipated you not being pleased with having to get stitches specifically either; gasping and sitting up as soon as you heard the word come from his lips post-consciousness. consequently, the dizziness hits you. the doctor wasn’t happy about that.

“this is so annoying. i don’t want a scar.” you whine as you study your face on the camera of jungkook’s phone. “did i have to fall on my prettier side?”

“what are you saying? you’re pretty from any angle.” he interjects. “be careful. the wound might open up.”

you jut out your bottom lip, looking up at him with glassy eyes. the sight instantly tugs at his heartstrings, and he pulls you in for a hug. maybe he’s a little sad that you don’t appear concerned about the fact that you passed out, but god is he relieved to finally hear your voice again.

“ah, i should call the doctor.”

but his face remains buried in your hair.

“they told me to do so.”

“you should-”

“why?!” he abruptly reacts, drawing back. “does anything hurt?”

“chill. you said that they told you to.”

“oh, that’s right.” he sheepishly smiles. he can’t help but to overreact; he hasn’t turned off the alarms in his head. “i’ll go tell the nurse to get her.”

he starts to walk towards the door, but a tug at his shirt holds him back.

you shyly look at him with a scrunch of your nose. “i’m nervous. hug me for five more seconds.”

fuck, he would move heaven and earth to protect you from everything that can cause you harm.

“why would you be nervous? i’m right here.” he scolds you lightheartedly, not hesitating to seize the chance to hug you again. “i love you.”

“i love you more.”

you pull away after five seconds, and he’d be disappointed about you being too true to your words if you didn’t kiss him on the cheek so ardently.

his heart almost jumps out of his chest when you gasp out of nowhere as if you just realized that you left the gas tank open at home. your eyes nearly pop out of their sockets.

“bam!”

oh, right. your child.

“my brother’s house!” he eases your mind.

you breathe out in relief, the heel of your palm pressing against the left side of your chest where your heart lives. “good… i was worried. he was probably more scared because he didn’t understand what was going on. i feel bad.”

you love bam so much; it makes him so happy. you’re so concerned about him even when you’re the one on the hospital bed. you make pretty good parents, huh?

“that’s right. he was worried about you, too. that’s why you need to recover quickly so he won’t be sad!”

—

the doctor kindly asked jungkook to give the two of you some time alone, so he’s been idly sitting at the lobby after buying a bottle of water. he’s pretty much used to visiting the hospital for routine checkups considering the nature of his job, but it always feels strange to be here for the other different purposes of the place.

is there any other building sadder than this?

if you heard him utter this question, he could easily predict what you’d say: but is there any other building with more love?

if he tries hard enough, he could listen to your voice and paint you in his mind.

you see love in every place that you step foot into.

his curious eyes continue to wander around. he spots people carrying flowers, baskets, and containers of food. there’s also a teenage boy in his high school uniform, carrying a teddy bear larger than him.

not that he wants you to stay longer, but if you have to, he writes down a mental note to bring one of your favorite plushies.

he eventually gets tired; considers scrolling on his phone again, but he decides against it when his gaze lands on a little boy sleeping soundly on his mother’s lap. suddenly, he is reminded of his childhood before he moved to seoul.

how simple life can be when you’re innocently sleeping on your mother’s lap, trusting that everything will be alright.

“ah, i miss my mom…” he utters absentmindedly. “i miss my mom so much. i should call her.”

his reminiscing is interrupted when a wheelchair rolls by infront of him. it is leisurely being pushed by an old man who wants to bring his wife outside for some fresh air.

in a parallel universe somewhere, jungkook can imagine them as you and him.

he sits up straight, looking back at the clock on the wall.

how long has it been? he wants to be by your side again.

—

“jungkook!” your face lights up as soon as your boyfriend steps into the room. “what took you so long?”

“i know. sorry, baby. i got a little distracted outside.”

“i’ve been waiting.” you pout. “why? were people bothering you?”

“not at all. don’t worry.”

you pat the empty space beside you. “here.”

“i think the bed is meant for only one person- damn, okay, okay-”

he swiftly gives in upon seeing the hurt on your face, occupying the space you reserved for him. “i love you. don’t be sad.”

you’re aching too much to wait for him to get settled. you wrap your arms around his waist like you’re a magnet attracted to steel, clinging to him for comfort.

if you’re being honest, you don’t know how you feel about being in this situation. overwhelmed? maybe a tiny bit relieved. in the past, it didn’t matter whether you were sick or not. you needed to work or else it was guaranteed that you wouldn’t survive. life is easier now. you have the luxury to use this as a reason to take a break. you have someone who takes care of you as naturally as he breathes.

“how was the doctor?”

“she’s nice… she just asked me about the things i remember before i passed out. then about my work, diet, sleeping schedule… stuff like that.”

you pull away a little, just enough so you can see each other’s face. you squint at him suspiciously. “did you have to get an expensive room?”

he chuckles. “how did you know? they didn’t tell you that, did they?”

“i literally have the perfect view of the fountain from here!” you point at the large window behind you. “i just passed out. i would’ve been fine downstairs.”

“don’t say it like that. it could’ve been so much worse.” he says with knitted eyebrows, palm cupping the back of your head and caressing softly.

he heaves a sigh.

“i was so scared that you injured your head. seriously, i thought i’d go insane if i lost you! i went past the speed limit driving you here!”

the distress he was under is apparent. you can’t help but to be racked with the guilt. you always do this, making him worry himself to death. you don’t usually do it purpose, and that only makes you feel shittier.

“you’re right. i’m sorry.”

“well, i…” he sighs. “it’s okay. i know you didn’t want this either. it’s not your fault.”

you press your lips into a thin line. “it kind of is.”

your lost eyes meet, and a connection is established like it’s a constellation sending a secret message. your heart flutters when he giggles, dimples and starry eyes and crinkled corners.

“stop it. it’s impossible to scold you when you’re so cute and self-aware.”

“then don’t scold me.” you sniffle sadly to kindle pity in him. “i’ve had enough of it from the doctor.”

your brain still works well enough to help you escape from trouble. that’s a good sign, right?

“my poor baby.” he coos, cradling your cheeks.

his hands are warm. you put yours over them; a wordless signal telling him you don’t want him to go away.

“let’s not get hurt again, please. we need to stay healthy and take good care of ourselves so this won’t happen again, alright?”

you nod in obedience. your eyes are fixed on him but you’re not certain if you’re registering what he’s telling you in your pitiful, shaken brain.

“the hospital already did me many favors. if we go back, i might have to build them another fountain as a gift.”

and knowing jungkook, with his golden heart and his black card, jokes become half-meant.

“what do they need that for?!”

he bursts out laughing, yet again, after you chide at him for his ridiculous and unnecessary expenses.

“nothing, i’m just grateful! i was really so scared but i’m relieved now thanks to them. i can’t remember the last time i felt that way.”

“you’re not scared of a lot of things.” you point out.

“that’s right.” he agrees. “only you scare me these days.”

you grimace. “am i scary?”

“you are, sometimes.” he laughs, squishing your cheeks together. “but i mean the things that could hurt you.”

as if on cue, your stomach grumbles and bellows like a monster stuck in an empty cave. your eyes grow twice its size in bewilderment, which then morphs into embarrassment.

“my stomach hurts.” you say quietly.

your nostrils flare as jungkook miserably fails to hold back his laughter. one of his hands leave your face, rubbing your tummy over the thin hospital gown.

“oh no, what are we going to do? where does it hurt? here?” he pouts. “should we go feed you now to make it go away?”

“what is wrong with you?” you slap his shoulder in annoyance. “i’m not a baby!”

“yah, be careful!” he yells, wincing as if he is the one in pain. “be gentle with the one with the iv!”

—

“you know one good thing that came out of this?” you gush out of nowhere.

you’re mixing up the ingredients of your bibimbap bowl with a spoon and a pair of chopsticks.

jungkook noisily drinks the final sips of his banana milk. afterwards, he makes a game out of shooting the box in the trash bin.

“what could that be?” he asks, doubtful.

he sits on the chair beside your bed. you greet him with a delighted grin, licking your thumb stained with gochujang.

“you proved your love. you committed a crime for me.”

he gasps to humor you, body freezing as if he’s currently processing the newly-learned information in his brain.

“oh? you’re right- i did! and you know what? i’d do it again!”

with a mouthful of rice, you shake your head in disagreement furiously. “you’re cute. but that’s the first and last.”

“but how are you sure that it’s the first?” he raises an eyebrow quizically.

silly enough, you envy him for being able to do so.

you hum in thought. “i guess you’ve stolen a few things for me, too.”

“few? you mean a loooot?”

“you’re the one who brings home food and random things.” you roll your eyes. “i never ask you to.”

“you told me you wanted the service bell!”

you feel yourself become flushed with sheepishness. he’s not lying. you’ve always found the object fascinating as a child, so you couldn’t help but to tell him to sneakily take one home after filming a competitive run bts episode.

did you have a silly phase where you and jungkook used it to summon each other just to laugh together about it?

perhaps.

“well, you’re rich. you could’ve bought me one instead.”

“but it was already there.” he reasons with a wide grin, gesturing infront of him. “i wanted to give it to my lover right away.”

his lover?

jungkook has successfully replaced your frown with an enamored smile.

“i made your heart flutter just now, didn’t i?”

a hospital stay has never felt this comfortable— not terrifying. you have stitches on your face and to add to that, this hospital gown feels super unflattering. somehow, your boyfriend’s loving gaze remains steady and you are melting.

“shut up,” you mutter, flustered, handing him the pair of chopsticks. “please eat with me. i can’t finish this on my own.”

—

“why would you let them put the needle in my dominant hand?”

you stomp your feet on the ground as jungkook squeezes some toothpaste onto a newly-bought toothbrush.

“i’m sorry! i was too stressed out so i just pointed! i think i got confused with- with left and right.”

you didn’t realize this while you were eating; that you were unconsciously holding the spoon with your non-dominant hand because the other felt uncomfortable. maybe because it was a simple task, scooping food and bringing it to your mouth. brushing your teeth, on the other hand… can be quite an arm workout.

“eeeee!”

he shows his complete set of teeth, urging you to do the same. you stare at him blankly.

“eeeee!” he repeats with heightened enthusiasm.

left with no other choice— you copy his awkward smile.

“there we go!” he praises you with an over-enthusiastic beam.

he carries on to brush your teeth, gingerly holding your chin to keep you steady as he does his job.

this is the first time jungkook is doing this for you. today is definitely not one of your finest moments. it feels a bit silly to be in this situation, and you feel bad for putting your boyfriend in this position in the first place. you can see that he’s trying his best—unnecessarily focused—and that he loves you, but you just hate giving him a hard time.

with a soft smile, he wipes the bubbles that overflowed past your lips.

“okay, spit.”

you spit out more of the bubbles on the sink. you assume that he’s finished, except he’s making another vowel sound for you to mimic the mouth shape of.

“ahhhh-”

“this is embarrassing!”

“baby, really? this is where you draw the line?” he playfully squeezes your cheeks together. “it’s almost over! ahhhh!”

and you let him do this thing, but not without a glare that is masking the embarrassing truth: you might be enjoying this more than you care to admit.

“see? was that so bad?”

as he tenderly pats your face dry in the aftermath, he says: “i’m sorry. bear with it a little more. let me take care of you so you’ll be healthy again.” and you feel every ounce of his sincerity pierce through the barriers surrounding your soul.

“stop it…” your voice suddenly comes out broken.

you want to put all the blame on your period for the tears that are now brimming your eyes, but jungkook is your biggest weakness of all and that is an explanation enough.

“why are you crying?” he panics. “what did i say?”

“it’s your fault.”

you break down into loud sobs, incapable of even keeping your eyes open. you never understood why we close our eyes when we cry, but right now, you know that you can’t bear to witness his reaction.

“you’re so sweet.”

the towel that was wiping the water from your mouth is now drying the tears from your stained cheeks.

“am i making you sad?”

you furiously shake your head. how could he say such a thing? he is the greatest joy of your life.

“no?”

“no!”

“okay, come here then.”

he wraps his arms around your trembling figure, caging you in the solace of his entire existence. a sense of calmness washes over your system, especially as he runs his hand across your back in gentle strokes. this isn’t his goal though, it seems. you hear none of his quiet shushes beseeching you to stop breaking his heart. he hopes you let go of everything that has been weighing on you, but he has already eased all your pains by loving you.

“ugh, i probably look horrible right now.” you force a chuckle to lighten up the mood, wiping your face with the back of your free hand. “i feel gross.”

“that’s not true.” he gazes at you fondly, brushing your hair with his fingers. “it’s actually infuriating how you look so beautiful still.”

“i know. i’m nice to look at; that’s why you tolerate my attitude.” you conclude in jest.

“yeah, sometimes.” he rides on the joke.

“what…?”

“i’m joking!” he rushes to take it back with a laugh. “of course i’m joking!”

you pout. “are you really?”

“oh, come onnnn.”

he coaxes you with a kiss on the lips— a good morning kiss long overdue. you’ve been spoiled rotten with affection; he knows you need more than one. he interrupts himself several times to kiss you.

“you know i’ll love you until our hair turns white and our skin all wrinkly.”

to be brutally honest, you’re not fond of imagining that far ahead. it’s daunting. you doubt your capability to age with grace. you’re horrified by the thought of having the majority of your life behind you. nostalgia has always been more bitter than sweet. but maybe this memory could be the sweetest of all, if jungkook truly stays by your side until then. in a cottage at the countryside like he said once, or a cabin by the ocean.

you’re both so young; so arrogant when it comes to making promises that are a shot in the dark. so fucking in love.

“me too.” you half-smile, scrunching your nose— a telltale sign of your joy. “now, get out. i really need to pee.”

his face becomes drained of blood. “but you’re st-”

“i won’t lock the door this time.” you cup his cheek, looking at his eyes reassuringly. “we don’t need property damage added to the bill.”

—

“did you not hurt yourself?”

“me?”

“you broke down the door. that’s not easy to do.”

you and jungkook make the best out of a bad deal. you’re squeezed together on the bed, browsing through television channels that seem to never end.

“it was easy because you were on the other side of it.”

that is what he claims confidently, but you are not fully convinced.

“wow, why do they have more channels than we do at home?”

“you didn’t answer my question.” you pout. “did you hurt yourself?”

“i didn’t hurt myself. i’m totally okay. i promise.”

he maintains eye-contact as he speaks. given the assurance, your tight chest unrestricts. jungkook is not a good liar. it’s a trait that causes him inconvenience every now and then, but it helps you to sleep soundly at night.

“should we just watch funny animal videos on youtube?”

“i guess that’s fine.”

it doesn’t show but you feel excitement run in your veins aside from the iv fluids that feel peculiarly cold.

from under your cheek, his chest vibrates with a giggle. “okay, hold on.”

as he pulls up the application, you tangle your legs together beneath the thin blanket. you hear the rapid tap tap tap of the remote control navigating the keypad while he types on the search bar, but your attention is someplace else. you’ve found the crook of his neck to sneak into, lazily kissing every inch of his exposed skin. your lips eventually trail up to his jaw. he smells so nice. you’re addicted.

“baby, someone can enter any minute.”

“i’m not doing anything.” you mumble.

you smile against his lips when he gives you a kiss as sweet as honey anyway.

“i’m curious about another thing.”

“what’s that?”

“did you cry?”

he comes to a still. the answer to that question requires a little time and thought.

“almost…”

“why almost?”

“no time. i had to bring you here, of course.” he replies.

you huff a laugh, exhaling a twinge of melancholia. “don’t cry.”

“i won’t. i’m happy now because you’re awake and fighting with me.”

“ow-”

your cry of pain is silenced when he squeezes you in an embrace that makes it nearly impossible to breathe.

“red panda!”

a squeal assaults both of your hearing as soon as your eyes land on the wide screen infront of the bed.

“i want one so fucking bad.”

the enunciated curse makes your boyfriend crack up in amusement. “that much?!”

—

jungkook opens his eyes to a nurse lightly nudging him awake.

“i’m sorry, i had to wake you up. i need to check vitals and draw blood.”

“shit, i’m sorry.” he panics.

his brain is foggy from the nap, but he still carefully sits up on the bed, wary of the iv line connected to your hand.

“i… was tired and i fell asleep.”

“it’s no problem; don’t worry.”

she smiles at him, but he doesn’t see it.

“you look adorable sleeping.”

“ah, really?” he awkwardly responds, absentminded. “it’s embarrassing.”

he stands on your side, about to disturb your peaceful rest much as it makes his heart ache with guilt, but you’re already stirring due to the absence of his warmth.

your heavy eyelids blink at the nurse in curiosity. “oh… do you need my blood?”

“yes, but i’ll take your blood pressure and temperature first.”

“okay,” you mumble, offering your arm. “it might be higher now because i’m scared.”

she chuckles at your joke. jungkook tries to share an endeared look with her and non-verbally communicate adorable, right?

“i promise i’ll be quick. although we definitely want it to be higher than earlier’s.”

you wince as the cuff around your upper arm goes as tight as it could, and you sigh at the same time that it begins to deflate.

“good, good, good,” she chants with a mumble. “it’s back in the normal range again…”

she brings out a digital thermometer from her pocket.

“you know where this goes.”

she hands it over to you, and you awkwardly place it in your armpit, holding it in place. it’s quiet as you wait for the device to make the beeping sound, except for her pen creating friction with your chart as she takes down notes.

“how’s your stitches? do you feel any discomfort?”

“it’s fine. thank you.”

not long after, you hear the beep. you return the thermometer to her, but not before taking a peak at the numbers displayed on the tiny screen. 36.8°C. you think you’ll live.

“i’ll draw your blood now.”

the nurse’s voice is sweet and reassuring, but it doesn’t quite ease the nervousness evident on your expression. your pupils shake as you watch her disinfect the area, and then comes out the long needle.

another one, jungkook laments inside.

“____, i’m right here.”

you crane your head, whimpering out his name. “jungkook,”

“it will be just a pinch. i’m inserting the needle now, alright?”

you take a sharp inhale.

if only he could switch positions with you, he would do it in a heartbeat. unfortunately, all he can do is caress your hair and whisper that it will be over soon.

“it hurts.” your damp eyelashes flutter, face twisting in discomfort. “i don’t like it.”

really, just a pinch? obviously a lie.

“hey, baby. look at the tv.”

the autoplay was left turned on after you fell asleep together. inside the screen is a puppy rolling around a snow-covered lawn. the wagging of its tail, the wide smile, and the pupils as big as boba balls: they all scream the happiness of an innocent.

“it’s so cute… i miss bam already. can we go to a dog park again?”

“of course!”

that promise sparks your smile. you turn to your side, and jungkook also catches a glimpse of the cotton taped to where you were poked.

“all done. you can go back to resting.”

“thank you. will you need to take blood again?” you inquire at the nurse.

“hm, probably. it depends on the doctor based on the results we get from this one.”

“can’t you just do it while i’m asleep? or is that not allowed?”

“baby…” jungkook snorts, hiding his face behind the palm of his hands.

the nurse laughs at your desperate suggestion. “that is honestly not a rare request, but the thing is… you might wake up in the middle of it and injure yourself. we can’t do that.”

“that won’t be a problem!” you passionately argue your case. “i’m a deep sleeper. seriously!”

“ah, thank you so much for your hard work!”jungkook intervenes, bowing to the nurse out of respect and gratitude. “i’m sure you’re busy. i will handle this!”

“oh yes, yes- thank you. please don’t forget the medicine for after dinner.”

“i won’t!”

“if you need anything, you know where to find me again.”

“yes,” he nods, chuckling. “thank you.”

“then i should leave…? but you’ll see me again later! bye!”

the door shuts, and his attention lands on your unimpressed form: a blank stare and arms folded infront of your chest.

uh-oh.

“did she seriously wink while saying that?”

“what?” he freezes, genuinely clueless. “i don’t know. i didn’t see anything. i was looking at you.”

“i’m right here- i’m the patient. why would you need anything from her? huh? why is she so excited to see you again?” you ramble angrily.

“right?!”

he climbs on the bed, reclaiming his spot next to you.

“that was weird.”

“what if she made it hurt on purpose? that…” you frown, glancing at your arm. “that didn’t really feel like a pinch to me.”

“ey, calm down. she wouldn’t.” he makes a doubtful face, laughing off the accusation. “…i don’t think so?”

you blink, exhaling in disbelief. “are you taking her side now?”

“of course not! baby, i’m just saying… a professional won’t do that.”

“why not? she’s still human. humans do stupid things when they like someone. she obviously likes you.”

“and so what?”

he grins with a spark of mischief, leaving an inch of a distance between your lips.

“i’m obviously yours.”

but you turn your cheek and your eyes fall on your lap, a pout highlighting your downcast mood.

“it’s so annoying.”

the regret sinks in after. he should’ve stuck to the golden rule: agree with everything that you say. there’s no point in having an argument no one will win. does it matter who’s right and wrong if each other’s sadness is contagious in addition to their own? your gut has almost always been right, and he’s old enough to be conscious of not allowing a stranger to put a dent on your relationship.

“are you serious? are you uncomfortable?” he tilts his head to try and get a better look at your face. “should i request for a different nurse?”

it’s quiet for a beat and he feels inclined to fill the silence with whatever enters his mind.

“i love you.”

almost immediately, your features soften and he knows your heart is also melting. the two of you bite the inside of your cheeks to hide a smile.

“no, there’s no need for that.”

but he still can’t help but to be worried. your peace of mind is his top priority. he doesn’t want you to be more stressed out, especially by things that he has the power to solve.

“are you sure?”

“she pissed me off. i need to piss her off too.”

of course, his ever stubborn and competitive lover. he sits up properly, amused and curious.

“and how will you do that?”

“i don’t know,” you nonchalantly shrug. “i’ll come up with something.”

—

“come up with what?”

to your surprise, a voice you haven’t heard in weeks echoes from the door.

“mom…?”

you’re stunned after only hearing yourself react to jungkook’s mother’s unexpected entrance. your head whips to his direction; your eyes wordlessly interrogating him.

“i need to go to work so i called her to watch over you.” he explains.

“why would you do that?” you argue with him as quietly as possible, lips barely moving as you try to hide your face from your mother-in-law. again, not one of your finest moments. “you didn’t have to. i can take care of myself.”

“but you don’t have to because you have us.”

jungkook marks the conversation finished with a kiss pressed to your temple, leaving you dumbfounded. he jumps off the bed and for a split second, you make eye-contact with his mother before he towered over her for a quick hug.

her kind smile is embroidered in your memory; a memory that wraps your heart in a type of warmth only a mother can provide.

“mom! i’m sorry. i really, really, really need to leave now. but! i’ll try to come back early so you can go home early too.”

“aigoo, stop stressing yourself out.”

jungkook receives a slap on the back, somehow more loving can scolding.

“i can stay the night so do what you need to do. you don’t have to worry.”

“it’s not only because i’m worried!”

she sassily puts a hand over her waist. it takes everything in you not to laugh out loud.

“then what else?”

“mom! what else?” he cheekily smiles. “of course i’ll miss ____ too much.”

did your boyfriend just…? to his mother? your jaw becomes slack from the shame.

“i missed ____ too!” she contests. “go to work and give us our alone time.”

you shyly smile when she transfers her attention from her son to you.

“hello, my baby. are you hungry?”

—

“does my son feed you well?”

“he does! but it’s funny- other mothers ask the opposite. are you feeding my son well? do you make sure he’s comfortable?”

you think out loud, transfixed on how she peels oranges with ease. your hands would always be stained by the juices, (and eyes red and teary from accidental splashes) (it’s too embarrassing to even think about) but hers are still magically clean.

“is that so?”

you graciously accept the slice she feeds you. she laughs when your face lights up like a christmas tree one more time. it’s way sweeter than you anticipated. you can’t get over how delicious it is.

“mhmm!”

perhaps you relied too much on dramas when it came to your expectations of what a relationship with your in-laws would look like. you imagined yourself running around like a dog trying to prove yourself worthy of their son, yet for some reason, it looks like they adore you for simply existing. it makes you feel extremely grateful, but you don’t understand.

“mom, i have a question… i know it’s probably too late to ask this now, but…”

“what could that be?”

“are you really not against me and jungkook living together?” you swallow your fear of the possibility of an unpleasant truth. “are you not… worried… that i’m receiving too much from him?”

because you would understand the apprehension. as a parent, one’s main concern would be their child. to outside eyes, it’s easy to come to the conclusion that jungkook is being taken advantage of and he’d be better off dating someone with the same status. sometimes you wish you were that someone too.

she utters your name sadly.

“he receives happiness and love from you. those are the most valuable things you could give to a person.”

she caresses your hair like she wants to erase the anxiety poisoning your mind.

“my dear, how come you’re worried about that until now? haven’t we told you? you’re part of the family. forget about my sister! i don’t welcome her negativity in our house!”

“living together is different. it’s a big deal. it normally happens in a relationship after…” the following words feel foreign in your mouth; they come out quieter than the rest of your sentence. “getting married.”

“then tell me. why did you agree to live with him?”

because you’re selfish. because you want more time that you can have him all to yourself. because you want to be accessible— the first person he runs to when he’s seeking comfort and stability. because you want goodnight and good morning kisses. because you were afraid of the risks but you’ve grown addicted to the thrill of love.

“he said… no matter how hard i push him away, he will stay within my reach.”

you hear your own shaky breathing. that moment— it’s still burned into your memory. you’re still holding on to it. it’s a promise he is yet to break and you pray that he never, ever does.

“i don’t want to push him away. i want to be within his reach too.”

you’re two people loving each other with everything within your means. after the endless pains and the deafening noise, you like to think that’s what makes this relationship worth fighting for.

“does my opinion still matter knowing that? will you let me stop you?”

“no, i won’t. i’d make you change your mind.”

if you had a machine connected to you, she would see how your heart rate has gone off the charts. but you’re known to say whatever’s on your mind and that, much to your dismay, isn’t switched off despite sitting infront of the woman who birthed and raised the love of your life.

you sniffle, pursing your lips nervously. “but i feel like there might be a right answer to that one.”

what you didn’t expect was her to laugh until her belly hurts; placing a hand over her mouth in an effort to calm herself down and keep grace.

“mom! stop, i’m so embarrassed!”

“no, ____, don’t get me wrong!”

she is teary-eyed as she gathers herself together.

“the more time i spend with you, the more i realize why jungkook loves you so much. i’ve seen him show incredible commitment twice. do you know that? first, when he went to seoul to become a singer. second, when he told us he got an apartment because he wants to be with you… of course, as his mother, i’ll admit that he’s young when he made those decisions, but he always proves to me that he’s smart and responsible.”

the urge to cry returns and strengthens as she speaks. you feel your eyelashes become damp with unshed tears. you don’t know how to act. you fiddle with your fingers. you stare at the strings and peels of the oranges you can still taste.

“i believe we both know jungkook’s personality well. he wouldn’t have let me stop him either. i’m happy to know that you’ll fight for him too.”

“thank you…”

“tsk, tsk, tsk- what is there to cry about? jungkook will get angry at me if he discovers that i made you cry.”

she wipes away your tears; however, the unmistakable scent of oranges that has clung to her hands and the affection in her tone bring forth a waterfall.

“seeing this makes me sadder.” she laments, referring to the stitches on your face.

“me too,” you babble in the midst of quiet sobs. “it makes me sad. it’s so ugly.”

—

you can’t remember the last time you felt this alone. perhaps it’s the effect of staying in an unfamiliar building of complete strangers. without your mobile phone, may you add. you managed to persuade jungkook’s mother to leave an hour ago because you didn’t want her to sleep on the uncomfortable couch.

the lights are turned off except for the lamp beside your bed, and with the television muted, you could hear a hairpin drop.

you’re alone and you can do whatever you want.

you dragged the visitor’s chair infront of the window to admire the garden like it’s a painting in motion. you watched people converse, stroll, and drink coffee. you watched them run for shelter when the clouds became too heavy and the sky began to fall. oh, so that’s why you couldn’t see the stars.

at this moment, there’s nothing left to amuse yourself with but the trembling of the leaves and the raindrops forming temporary rings when they fall in the water fountain.

your senses crave for more. you reach over and crack open the window, just enough to allow the sound of the rain and the scent of it permeating the earth to enter your room.

“this is kind of peaceful.” you whisper, amazed by the new lightness carried by your heart.

you close your eyes and you breathe in the petrichor deeply. you want nature in your lungs as a reminder that you’re alive. you welcome the cold wind kissing your face. you can feel your hair touching your neck. you always do, but for once, you’re choosing to acknowledge it. your thumb slowly brushes across the palm of your hand, perceiving the texture of your skin, the softness, and the lines. and your feet, they’re in the clouds, the fluffy slippers jungkook’s mother bought outside because she knows they’re your favorite to wear.

you’ve loved and despised this body for a million different reasons. your mind and heart have accepted defeat countless times, but your body wakes up to every brand new day without fail. your body implores you to live. did it finally give up on you today?

“baby!”

you look behind to search for the source of the sound.

you get your answer from the kiss planted on your lips.

you only saw his face for a split second, but even if you had your eyes closed, you’d know it has to be jungkook kissing you.

you can smell him. you’ve memorized the way the shape of his lips fits with yours.

oh, the sounds of his kisses too. you like to call them the butterfly call because they make butterflies appear in your stomach.

you could trace the scar on his cheek with your finger if you want to.

god, what a privilege it is to experience life in this vessel.

a knock on the door forces you to part too early. the same nurse from earlier enters and you internally scream all the curse words in your dictionary. jungkook acknowledges her with a bow and a quick ‘hello’ before squatting down infront of you.

“i committed another crime for you today.”

“huh?”

your wide, confused eyes take a glimpse at the nurse who is doing something with the controls of your iv line.

hahaha… she knows he’s not serious, right?

“what did you do?”

his smile is so big that his eyes have turned into little crescent moons. you’d make a guess but there is an infinite amount of things jungkook could possibly be this excited about.

…apparently, one of them would be strawberry cake.

you gape at the transparent box he was hiding behind his back all along.

“did you steal somebody’s birthday cake?!”

“it’s a producer’s birthday and he received lots of cakes, so he told me i can take one home.”

“how is it stealing if he allowed you to take it?”

he tosses his backpack on the couch as he sets down the box on the table. he rummages through the bag his mother left behind, successfully bringing out a spoon. meanwhile, you get your blood pressure taken again.

as he opens the box, he sends a smirk your way.

“no. i hid the strawberry cake because there’s so many who wanted to eat it.”

“are you crazy?!”

the nurse clicks her tongue. “don’t talk and stay still, please.”

“oh,” your hand flies to your mouth on instinct. “i’m sorry.”

“i’m sorry.” jungkook also apologizes.

you and your boyfriend secretly share a look, exchanging a smile that is stifled laughter inside. your lips remain zipped as the nurse restarts the process of taking your blood pressure. on the other hand, jungkook eats a spoonful of cake, teasingly wiggling his eyebrows at you. you roll your eyes and he tries harder to laugh without a sound.

seconds later, he grumbles about the room being too warm. he wipes the beads of sweat on his forehead using the back of his hand, and he does the worst thing he could possibly do at this moment. he reaches for his back, pulling his sweater over his head. naturally, his inner shirt rides up and allows wandering eyes a peak at his glorious toned abdomen.

passed out in the shower. busted your eyebrow open. front-row seat for a woman flirting and ogling at your boyfriend.

how fucking great.

“hello? i think it’s done.” you snap.

“a-ah, yes.”

you hear her swallow as she removes the cuff from your arm. she may be wearing a mask but she’s hot and red all the way to her ears. you’ve only read about it in books. you didn’t even believe this could happen in real life until now.

“i will check your temperature too.”

“go on.”

you repeat the same process from hours earlier, drumming your fingers on your thigh as you wait for the beep.

“yah, why is the window open? you’ll catch a cold.”

jungkook, yet again, steals the attention of every person in the room when he rises to his feet. his shadow casts over you as he closes the window.

“i wanted to smell the rain.”

“is the room getting too stuffy for you?”

you shrug. “i just wanted to smell the rain.”

you feel the nurse’s stare. you offer her a smile and her nameplate briefly gets caught by your vision. kang ji-woo.

“ji-woo; that’s a pretty name.” you pay her a sincere compliment. “it’s healing, don’t you think?”

“yes? uh-uhm, y-yes…” she replies, unsure and confused by the sudden small talk. “actually, it’s been linked to a reduction in stress and anxiety levels.”

“thank you! babe, did you hear that?”

“uhuh, think about my stress and anxiety levels.” he leans against the window with his arms crossed, raising an eyebrow at you.

so now he’s flexing his arm muscles. cool, cool, cool. you know he’s not doing it on purpose and his entire existence is just naturally hot and it’s infuriating.

“i’ve been worried sick about you all day.”

his statement makes you frown for a new reason. at the same moment, the thermometer beeps.

“could you please tell him that i’m fine?”

“37.3, uhhh- that’s slightly above normal. how do you feel? does your head hurt? are you cold?”

“i feel fine though?”

“okay. please take a lot of rest and stay warm…” her gaze lingers at jungkook who is blocking the window. “keep the window closed. hopefully it won’t be higher when i check again later.”

seriously?! you could cry. you want to go home where it’s comfortable. where it’s only you and jungkook and bam.

but you bet somebody would be happy if you had to stay longer.

“i’ll look after ____.” your boyfriend sighs, pulling out a jacket from his backpack.

“you shouldn’t have kissed me. what if you get sick?”

your blatantness causes the nurse to pause in updating your chart. she awkwardly clears her throat. “yeah… that… that isn’t currently advisable.”

“i’m sorry. i’ll control myself.”

you earn a glare from jungkook, then he fakes a smile which you gladly return.

“before you go, may i request for a new blanket? sorry, i spilled something earlier.”

“sure thing! i’ll come back with that right away.”

—

“she seemed happy to leave.” jungkook remarks. “i can’t tell if you were actually being nice or being passive aggressive.”

you smile innocently, taking a bite off the strawberry you stole from the top of the cake. “i’m a fucking angel.”

damn it, why is he suddenly turned on?

were you serious about the no kiss rule?

“would you rather i be the type to pull their hair?”

he shakes his head with a laugh. “but you did slap someone once.”

“you want to see me that furious again?”

“never in my wildest dreams.”

he kisses the top of your head, producing an exaggerated ‘mmmwah!’ sound that makes you giggle happily.

“here, have some more cake.”

he offers you a spoonful of cake.

no, it’s bigger.

as a matter of fact, the piece could probably pass off as a cupcake.

you gawk at it as if you’re figuring out the logistics of putting it in your mouth. his heart does a flip when you tilt your head and do your best to take in the whole thing. however, in the middle of it, you decide that you can’t, and you end up biting it off a little more than halfway.

oh my god, he loves you. he loves you. you’re so fucking cute.

your cheeks are full as you struggle to chew. you cover your mouth with your hand but they don’t touch. you’re so elegant in your ways and sometimes he wonders how you’re still attracted to him after he acts stupid.

also, plain white nails? that’s new. you always want colors.

“your nails look pretty.”

he is so focused on you that he fails to take notice of another presence occupying the room.

“your mom did them for me.”

“i figured. she wants to do mother-daughter things with you.”

the short break of silence speaks volumes. you look at him, blinking with eyes hinting at a type of joy you’re lost on how to express.

“did you choose white?”

“no. we were watching a drama and it was the couple’s wedding.”

oh, that makes total sense.

“let me guess,” he trails off with a half-embarrassed, half-entertained smile. “she asked when we will get married?”

“why would she ask me that? how would i know?” you scoff.

his heart starts at a thousand miles per hour. fuck, are you hinting at him? are you messing with his feelings again? with you, he always needs to remind himself to be rational.

“i need more time to prove to you that i’m husband material.”

“what? stop it. i don’t care. i don’t need a ring.”

your unpredictableness pushes him to the edge of his seat.

“don’t pressure yourself. you already treat me way better than most husbands do their wives.”

the pride painted on your face is unmistakable. he feels his heart swelling in his chest. has he been doing a better job than he originally thought? after what happened today, he was terrified that he hasn’t been paying enough attention to you.

“i’m so happy with what we have.”

you offer him a delicate smile before eating the rest of the cake that was left on the spoon. he swears there’s a glowing halo above your head.

could your temperature have magically dropped in the past five minutes? would you kill him if he kissed you right now?

“is there anything else i could assist you with?”

and then he is rudely snapped out of his hopeless adoration and daydreaming.

“that’s all! thank you for your hard work!” you chirp.

he turns to the nurse with a lovesick grin.

“please come to our wedding.”

the unforeseen wedding invitation earns him a slap on the chest. he clutches the affected area, wincing in pain.

he hears you mutter. “don’t invite strangers to our wedding.”

the irritated glare he predicted to face isn’t there. rather, you’re wearing the flustered smile he only sees when he knows that he did something to make you fall for him all over again.

before ji-woo left, she tried to subtly reject the invitation by jokingly saying that she’d die to go, but most probably, she’d have to work that day. you know… being an overworked hospital employee and all. you caught her glancing at you with bitterness failed to be guised as indifference. you get it. you’d hate it if another person was in your place. frankly speaking, you could be miles pettier.

your boyfriend wipes the corner of your lips, thoughtless as he licks off the cake frosting from his thumb.

damn it, you wish she was also here for that.

“you haven’t stopped smiling.”

“you love me and you never let me forget that.”

you give an answer despite the lack of a question mark.

you just made his world stop spinning on its axis and you’re not even aware.

jungkook knows the heavenly feeling of knowing that he is loved, but he has never deeply considered the joy and relief when the person he loves believes that he loves them.

“i’m so lucky. i love you.”

you push yourself up to plant a kiss on his forehead. it’s a rarity he treasures and keeps.

“i love you too.”

he cries infront of you.

almost.

he excuses himself to the bathroom and cries in there a little.

you’re so easy to love— that’s why it makes him want to do difficult things for you. like commit more crimes?

[okay-babe]

Mothering

tags: alastor x fem! reader, suggestive themes, allusions to sex, alastor and reader are married, domestic bliss, Husk and Angel are tortured by your love for each other.

It was a rather quiet morning, one that had become almost typical of the hotel in the quickly passing months, and Angel watched as, like usual, the Radio Demon began to walk swiftly from the stairwell to the front doors.

Although, this time, there was a notable interruption to the sinner's routine.

"Al, wait!"

You called in an almost panicked sounding tone, bounding down the stairs in only your night gown, an object that Angel couldn't quite make out in hand.

Immediately, Alastor halted where he stood, his neck turning before the rest of his body to watch as you rushed over to him, cheeks flushed from your run down to the lobby.

The demon raised a brow at you curiously, but with a marked lack of exasperation that must have come from that store of patience he reserved just for you, and you smiled sheepishly as you held up a small shimmering band.

"You forgot this."

You said, tone almost nervous sounding as you continued your approach in spite of the painfully obvious adoration written all over the Radio Demon's face.

Immediately, Alastor looked down toward his left hand in surprise, his eyes widening ever so slightly at the sight of his barren ring finger before he looked back to you and smiled one of those gentle soft things he once again only seemed to reserve for you.

"Ah, why thank you, my dear."

He all but purred, eyes lighting up as you grew ever closer until he could finally offer his hand to you in the way you so clearly desired.

You grinned happily at the gesture and reached forward with the ring in hand as the sinner spoke up again,

"I couldn't fathom going a day without it."

You blushed at that, eyes diverting swiftly for a moment before they moved almost instinctively back to Alastor, watching his pleased expression as you slid his wedding ring back onto his waiting finger.

You stared at him for a few seconds, as if enthralled by the very vision of him in spite of the fact that you quite literally woke up to the man every morning, until finally you snapped yourself out of it with a slightly embarrassed clearing of your throat.

"Well, I'm quite sure you could manage if you had to."

You said softly, voice slightly higher in pitch than usual as your husband bent down, the already raised left side of his mouth curling upward further in an amused smirk at the sight of your pink cheeks and slightly nervous body language.

He'd had this effect on you in life as well, but it seemed he'd never tire of seeing it, even after so very long.

"Manage, certainly, but I'm not sure I would want to without the reminder of my darling wife back home."

He drawled, his now decorated left hand reaching up to palm your cheek and his eyes scanning you with a chuckle as you all but melted into his touch, always so very receptive to his affections whenever he was willing to offer them.

Suddenly though, your eyes widened, and you broke away with a gasp, your gaze shifting down to Alastor's hands only to find them empty.

"Al, did you remember to grab the organs I prepared for Rosie yesterday evening?"

You asked, immediately causing Angel and Husk over by the bar to flinch in response.

Had it been a surprise that the Radio Demon's wife was a little bit too comfortable with cannibalism? Not nearly as surprising as it was that the overlord had a wife in the first place, but still, it certainly hadn't been anticipated that you would be so handy with a boning knife.

The deer demon standing in front of you let out a soft hum of surprise before he shook his head, straightening back out to his full height with one arm crossed over the other.

"Silly me, it appears I'd nearly forgotten."

He replied, tone colored with amusement as you immediately set off toward the kitchen before the man could even finished, returning shortly thereafter with a rather large container of something your observers would rather not think too hard about.

"Well count yourself lucky I felt up to the chase this morning, beau."

You teased as you set the tub down on an end table nearby so you could approach your husband once more, straightening out his tie and fussing over his hair for a few moments as the demon simply stood still beneath your attentions, smile both amused and contented all at once.

You looked up at him after a few moments, eyes softening slightly at the sight of his expression as your hands moved to brush some invisible lint off his chest.

"You know, it isn't like you to be so forgetful, Al."

You began gently, hands working to smooth out a few barely there wrinkles in the demon's shirt.

"I'm beginning to worry that your age is getting to you."

Your tone was far too teasing to ever be misconstrued as serious as you spoke, stepping away slightly to admire your handiwork only to be stopped by a tug at your wrist as Alastor moved to pull you close once more.

"Is that so?"

He purred, tone still just as amused as before as he flipped your teasing back on you tenfold,

"Well then darling, I suppose I'll have to remind you of just how spry I can be upon my return."

His voice lowered slightly as he said this, and instantly your cheeks felt hot and your eyes widened slightly beneath your husband's heavy gaze.

Desperate to change the subject before your (rather unwelcome) background audience caught on or made any commentary, you quickly cleared your throat again before giving a nervous laugh.

"Sure thing old man, whatever you say."

You said halfheartedly, watching as the Radio Demon's eyes grew darker at your unintentional challenge.

And at that, you were quick to switch topics.

"O-oh!"

You began, eyes roving aimlessly for something else to talk about before they finally fell to the unused coat rack in the corner of the room.

"Are you sure you won't be needing a coat, Al? I'd hate for you to catch a cold..."

You said nervously, hands wringing together as your husband watched you with sheer amusement and something slightly heavier behind his eyes, his mouth opening as if to reply only for him to be cut off by a voice from another part of the room.

"Babe, I love ya and all, but this is gettin' ridiculous!"

Angel cried out in exasperation,

"We're in hell, for cryin' out loud! Yer husband is a demon overlord who owns enough souls to be considered a large business owner! He's not gonna get cold out there!"

You gave another nervous laugh in response to Angel's rambling,

"But-"

"Nu uh, no buts Toots, now say goodbye to ol' tall, dark, and creepy before you start actin' like his motha' again."

Angel interrupted, immediately causing you to let out a huff of indignation, turning around to face your friend where he sat at the bar,

"I am NOT acting like his mother."

You insisted, attitude faltering a bit when you noted the rather amused expression that your comrades were wearing, informing you that you were likely making a slight fool of yourself.

"I-I'm not..."

You trailed off quietly, cheeks warm with embarrassment even as you felt a familiar clawed hand drop down upon your shoulder in a manner that was no doubt meant to be soothing.

Though, the next words out of your husband's mouth, in spite of his actions, most certainly were not.

"Not to worry, cher."

He purred, pulling you back against him gently so you could feel the warmth of his chest upon your back and the curl of his smile against your helix, a sensation which immediately caused you to shiver.

"If they wish to see you as a mother, I will happily oblige."

Your blush deepened at that, eyes widening as you desperately tried to ignore the shocked looks of your peers in favor of trying to focus on keeping your head straight instead as Alastor stepped away once more, the casualness of his attitude a stark contrast to his previous words.

"Oh dear, would you look at the time. I really must be going."

He said, a teasing lilt to his voice that was all too easy to hear coming through as he checked his wrist for a watch he wasn't actually wearing before leaning forward to press an exaggerated kiss to your forehead.

"I'll be seeing you later, darling." He drawled with that trademark grin of his as he approached the door, one clawed hand reaching to pull it open before he finally stepped out.

That is, until a few seconds later, when his head popped back in again.

"Oh, and do keep well hydrated, dear heart! I would hate to endure a repeat of the last time you called my spryness into question."

Alastor looked far too pleased with himself as he spoke for you to even bother attempting to rebuke him, and but a moment later he was gone, off to see Rosie with a well adorned ring finger and a large container of organs in hand.

"WHAT DID HE SAY?!"

Angel cried, still clearly stuck on your husband's mothering comment from earlier as you sighed and approached the bar, an apologetic look on your face as you glanced toward Husk.

"Can I just get a water please?"

You muttered sheepishly, immediately causing the bartender to groan and bury his face in his hand, his disappointment in your immense lack of shame obvious, but truly, what else had he expected?

Had he met your husband?