#but I’m almost done with my class for the semester and should be able to get some more House rewatched

[amphoterrible]

please Supergiant Games let me play the Hades II technical test

[charmedreincarnation]

I’m kind of in a similar situation to your college indecisiveness post bc I want to shift but never have the time cuz all this studying. I’m really hating life rn. I’ve tried shifting a few times and managed to detach my awareness from this reality for a few minutes at a time, so i know what works for me, but I never have time to do it. I feel kind of drained that I could be achieving so much but I’m stuck not even having the time cuz I’m not smart enough to get done with all this HW fast enough

TLDR how do I be cool like you and too smart for school to be a big concern? Do I just say f**k it and do a shifting attempt when I’m supposed to be studying?

This was such a sweet ask 😭😭💖 I'm overwhelmed by the sweetness of your words, and I assure you, I'm far from being as cool as you think. In fact, I found myself facing the very same dilemma in the past! Now, I'm not sure if you're looking for some wisdom from Loa or valuable studying tips, so ill share a little bit of both? Also college-related questions/asks have been pouring in lately, so I've decided to address them all right here. I should probably just make it a post but I’ll use this ask as a reference.

Pre law perspective:

So my senior year, was when I really started my journey. It was during this time that I learned about shifting and manifesting (kind of law of attraction) so I naturally attempted everyday and had my focus to that. However, I basically spiraled into burnout and indifference towards school. Tbh It's still a mystery to me how I managed to do fine in school when I basically stopped attending classes mentally and barely did my work.

I've always had ADHD, anxiety, and procrastination issues throughout my high school years, But senior year took it to a whole new level. The boredom and disconnection from my studies were unbearable. I went through the motions, completing my homework, but for classes I didn't enjoy, I mindlessly attended without caring or understanding the material. It was a year filled with academic mediocrity, and certain subjects like AP Calculus and AP Biology, which I didn't even need for my future plans, were absolute torture.

And at the time I didn’t even fully understand what shifting was, But I clung to the notion that school no longer mattered in the grand scheme of things. Looking back, I realize it was a detrimental mentality to have for my well being. If there's one piece of advice I can offer, it's this - find a balance. Avoid burning yourself out completely, but don't neglect your mental well-being either. You are still here, whether you're shifting or not, whether you’re god or not, and whether you're actively manifesting or not. Diving deeper into a negative mental well will not benefit you in any way. Trust me, I learned this the hard way.

As my burnout intensified, I reached a point where I no longer wanted to be alive in this boring ass reality. It became so severe that I almost didn't apply to college. My entire focus was consumed by shifting, and I simply didn't care about anything else. It was my friends who came to my rescue, pushing me to apply and offering unwavering support. Without their guidance and nurturing, I honestly don't know where I would be today.

Eventually, I grew tired of being tired. I began diving into my subliminal journey, creating playlists that combined affirmations for school,success, and luck. I learned the importance of dividing my time wisely. During the second semester, I continued this approach, focusing on school-related practices during the day and dedicating my evenings to shifting attempts.

Affirmations and scripting became the root of my routine too. Miraculously, my grades improved, even when I skipped classes for an entire month or neglected to read the lectures.

I was able to graduate high school with honors, which in itself proves that success or whatever isn’t even just about being naturally "good at school." I worked smarter, not harder and knowing about manifesting really helped with that!

So I really advice you to find a balance in your journey. Don't pour all your energy into just school or just manifesting. Embrace the plethora of easy methods available - scripting, subliminals, binaural beats - and integrate them into your study routine. Make it work in your favor. Treat shifting like a cherished hobby, something that complements your academic pursuits rather than overshadowing them.

Also, set realistic standards for yourself. In high school, I used to obsess over achieving straight A's, disregarding any grade below perfection. Looking back, I realize how misplaced my priorities were. As long as you maintain a mix of A's, B's, and even a few C's, you'll be absolutely fine. Set a goal of achieving a GPA of 3.0 or whatever scale your institution uses, and celebrate every success along the way.

Loa perspective

Ok, now let's talk about the power of the Law of Assumption!

Now that I'm in a place where I give only about 20% of my time and effort to school and still do very well, I can help and reflect on my journey properly. Back in high school, like said I struggled with anxiety and ADHD, and I thought these challenges would hold me back.

Test-taking, deadlines, remembering information it all seemed overwhelming. But you know what helped me? Subliminals.

Listening to subliminals for intelligence and confidence made a significant difference in my life. They boosted my abilities and gave me the belief that I could excel academically. And that belief was everything.

As you probably know the Law of Assumption states that whatever we expect and assume to be true will become our reality. So, I decided to apply this principle to my studies. I assumed that I was capable of achieving great grades with ease. I assumed that school life would be manageable, and I would continuously improve my skills throughout the semester. I always visualized seeing As, revised my past grades, teacher giving me the grade I know I deserve no matter what.

And guess what? It worked! My mindset shifted towards greater productivity, and I started using my time more efficiently. As a result, my grades improved, and I had more time to focus on the things I genuinely enjoyed. It was a game-changer, and it accounted for about 70% of my success. Just imagine that - simply switching my mindset and accepting the positive results from my previous subliminal experiences.

I understand that college can be more stressful and demanding than high school. But it's still the same principle at play. You don't have to drastically change your study habits if you don't want to. Instead, use general resources during the day to aid your studying. And while you're at it, listen to subliminals that align with your goals. Instead of imagining and affirming to yourself that you're a failure and worrying about all the things that could go wrong, shift your focus. Imagine the grade you want, affirm and visualize that no matter what happens on your test, you'll still pass the class with flying colors. Remember, it's just one test, one assignment, and there are so many more opportunities ahead.

General school tips

* Stop checking your grades every day. Seriously, it's only stressing you out. Grades can fluctuate randomly, especially in college (and honestly, even in high school). Instead of obsessing over the numbers, focus on staying on top of your assignments. Keep up with your work, put in your best effort, and trust that alone will reflect in your grades.

* Say no to all-nighters. Trust me, reading the same material for 12 hours straight won't magically make you understand it. If something isn't clicking, it's probably an internal issue. There's no need to spend an entire night alone trying to grasp a single concept. Look for alternative resources like recap lessons on YouTube or seek help from a tutor or classmate. Remember, it's okay to acknowledge what doesn't come naturally to you and instead focus on your strengths.

* Realistically, doing your homework and attending class means you're probably not failing. Even if you're not getting the grade you want, it doesn't mean you're headed for failure. Those big tests that carry a significant weight in your grade may impact your GPA, but they don't define the trajectory of your life. Take a moment to reflect on all the times you thought a single grade would ruin everything, yet here you are, still alive and thriving. You've been through challenges before, and you're stronger than you think. Breathe, remind yourself that you're not alone in these thoughts and stresses, and keep pushing forward.

* Make friends and join class group chats. Trust me, these connections are gold. Joining group chats on platforms like GroupMe or Snapchat allows you to ask questions, collaborate on study guides, and realize that you're not alone in this journey. Even if they're not your closest friends, having a support system within your classes can make all the difference.

* Use EFT tapping for anxiety, especially before tests. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) tapping is not only useful for Law purposes, but it can also work wonders for managing anxiety. Check out my pinned guide on how to use EFT tapping. It has personally helped me immensely, and I hope it does the same for you.

* Work smarter, not harder. The truth is, those who seem to breeze through school while partying every night still manage to graduate and pass just like everyone else. The key is finding shortcuts, utilizing the vast resources available on the internet, and working smarter, not harder. Embrace technology, explore online study tools, and leverage the power of the internet as your greatest friend in this journey.

Here are some free recourses:

Math and Science

1. MathMagic Lite: This app lets you write any mathematical expressions and various scientific symbols easily

2. Equatio: A powerful equation editor that makes it easy to create digital, accessible maths

3. Microsoft Mathematics: Can be used to write mathematical expressions, solve equations, and plot graphs

4. Desmos Scientific Calculator & Graphing Calculator: Utility apps for students and teachers for calculations and graph plotting

5. WolframAlpha: A computational search engine that can solve a wide variety of problems, especially useful for math and science

Article/Video Summarization

6. Smmry: A website that summarizes articles for you

7. TLDR This: A browser extension for quick article summarization

8. Inshorts: An app providing news in 60 words or less

9. Listenable: Converts articles into short audio files

Note-Taking

10. Evernote: A note-taking app where you can jot down thoughts, save things you find online, and even scan physical documents with your phone's camera

11. Microsoft OneNote: Allows for free-form information gathering and multi-user collaboration

12. Notion: An all-in-one workspace where you can write, plan, collaborate, and get organized

Concept Explanation

13. Khan Academy: Offers practice exercises, instructional videos, and a personalized learning dashboard that empower learners to study at their own pace in and outside of the classroom

14. Coursera: Provides universal access to the world’s best education, partnering with top universities and organizations to offer courses online

15. Complexly: A YouTube channel that produces a variety of educational content, including the series Crash Course which covers many different subjects in depth

16. citation machine: you never have to make source citations by yourself. This gives your both in test and citations for your essays and research.

Lastly I’m gonna put all the free resources most colleges offer for free!

Academic Resources

* Online Study Platforms: Websites such as Khan Academy, Coursera, and edX offer free or low-cost courses on a variety of subjects that can supplement your coursework.

* Academic Advising Centers: Most colleges have an academic advising center where students can get guidance on course selection, degree requirements, and academic planning.

* Writing Centers: Writing centers provide assistance with writing assignments, including proofreading, editing, and helping with citations.

* Library Research Databases: Your college library likely subscribes to a number of research databases (like JSTOR, EBSCO, and ProQuest) that can provide access to academic journals, books, and other resources.

2. Career Resources

* Career Centers: These centers offer career counseling, resume reviews, interview preparation, and job search assistance.

* Internship and Co-op Programs: Many colleges have programs that help students find internships or co-op positions in their field of interest.

* LinkedIn Learning: This platform offers courses on a variety of career-related topics, including networking, resume writing, and job interviewing.

3. Mental Health and Wellness Resources

* Counseling Centers: Most colleges offer free or low-cost mental health services to students, including individual therapy, group sessions, and workshops.

* Fitness Centers: Regular exercise is important for both physical and mental health. Most colleges have fitness centers that offer a variety of workout options.

* Mindfulness and Meditation Apps: Apps like Headspace and Calm offer guided meditations that can help reduce stress and improve mental health.

4. Financial Aid Resources

* Financial Aid Office: Your college's financial aid office can provide information on scholarships, grants, work-study opportunities, and student loans.

* FAFSA: The Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA) is the key to accessing federal financial aid, including grants, work-https://www.tumblr.com/charmedreincarnation/712878654521262080/everything-eft-tapping?source=share funds, and loans.

* Scholarship Search Engines: Websites like Fastweb and Scholarships.com can help you find scholarships that you may be eligible for.

Other questions I got

Q: How did you manifest graduating early?

A: Graduating early was always a desire deep within me. I didn't realize it was on track to manifest until I had a meeting with my advisor. Interestingly, when I found out it was happening, I wasn't as ecstatic as I thought I would be. It made me realize that desires can change as we grow and evolve. So, if something you once desired doesn't bring you the same joy anymore, it's perfectly okay. Life is all about evolving and embracing new desires.

Q: What affirmations do you use?

A: Since I had a multitude of desires in various aspects of my life, I found it tiring to have a separate affirmation for each one. So, I opted for general affirmations that encompassed all areas of my life. For example, I would affirm statements like "I am the luckiest person alive," "Everything works out my way," and "I always get my desires." These affirmations can be applied to all aspects of life, including school. The key is to find affirmations that resonate with you and create a positive mindset.

Q: How do you manage the law/shifting and school?

A: As I mentioned earlier, integration is the key! You don't have to view manifestation or shifting as something separate from your school life. Instead, incorporate these practices seamlessly into your daily routine. The goal is to make it a part of your lifestyle without feeling like it's an extra burden or sacrifice. For example, if a certain method, like wbtb lucid dreaming, is disrupting your sleep schedule, consider switching to other methods like subliminals or reality checks. You can still set intentions before going to bed, which will be effective without compromising your sleep. Find what works best for you and strike a balance between school, manifestation, and your mental health

Q: What to do if affirmations don’t work:

A:maybe you don’t think with words. I’m more of a visual person and will always believe and like images more than words. I would just imagine my grades always being an A. No matter what, no matter if I failed a test or forgot to submit a homework even if I failed everything I still got an A! If you don’t like to visualize then change your wording to how you naturally speak. Maybe you don’t even like affirmations, it’s really different for everyone.

Q:I don’t want to go to this college but I still have to apply, is that affecting living in the end:

A: nope I don’t think taking action or not taking action affects anything If you’re living in the end. Just because you apply doesn’t mean you’ll get in simply because you took the action. Do what you have to do it doesn’t matter if you’re living your 3D life but know imagination is your true reality. If you’re a billionaire and sleep in a homeless shelter that doesn’t take away from the fact you’re a billionaire. Who knows why you’re at a homeless shelter and who knows why you’re applying for college. It doesn’t dictate anything.

Q:I needed to get into the void before college but now I’m here without my dream life and I hate it. What do I do:

A: well it’s happened so take a deep breath. You can still master the void, in fact you already have you’re just being silly and want a funny humbling story. There is no better time than now to be delulu. When you’re trying to escape something and it passes accept it and make it your bitch tbh. honestly keeping busy definitely helped me in my journey anyways, but I did provide tips above so you have free time because you shouldn’t just be immersed in school. For example when I was poor, it was because I needed a humbling back story because no one likes people born into wealth. I’m assuming you still want to be in college, and yea, it’s just cool to have started from the bottom before you become that It girl. That’s your choice and your truth but now you’re done with being humble so go tap into the void.

Q: what’s your perspective on manifesting a perfect life. like nothing bad ever happens but also having a good life with just minor challenges (nothing too big) and I don’t wanna normalize suffering bc who wants to suffer?

A: ok this had a school ask but that was just the gist of it. anyways not that my opinion matters first and foremost. But I think that’s great. Who wants to suffer… exactly. You know I like being human, but I did not like my human experience before Loa. I do like challenges, I like growth, I like not being perfect, and I like being happy and getting what I want too! you can still have all those human aspects and manifest everything you desire. Mary Sues do don’t exist because humanity exists. Don’t worry about it. Your life won’t feel stagnant or unreal or something, I promise

Ok sorry this came out longer than I expected but I had a lot to say. I hope that answers all the asks I’ve been getting ! You all got this, college, your manifesting journey, your anxiety, all of it. All of your dreams & desires are within your reach (right in front of you !!!) so go for it and still live your best life <3!

[missuga]

7:12 p.m — Kuroo Tetsurou

+ established relationship, college au. 

The first thing you noticed when you woke up was how warm you were.

It took you a few long moments to realize that you’d fallen asleep, not really remembering even crawling into your bed. The blankets were so warm it wasn’t really surprising though, it’d been freezing all day long. 

Pulling the blankets further over your shoulders you could’ve fallen back asleep, and you almost did, if it wasn’t for the loud bang sounding from the kitchen followed by a string of soft curses. 

Once again it took you a second for the voice to register in your head, thoughts foggy from the sleep that was calling out to you still. 

You almost didn’t want to get out of bed to check out what the commotion in the kitchen was. 

Luck must’ve been on your side, as you opened your eyes for the first time reaching for your phone to see just how long you slept you noticed Kuroo’s head peeking through your door. 

“Shit, did I wake you up?” 

“Mmm not really.” You smiled, pulling the blankets up to your chin as you turned towards the door. 

“You look comfy.” He started, stepping fully into your room now once he knew you were awake. “You’ve been out for a while, I was starting to think you’d sleep all night.” 

“Really?” You asked, you still hadn’t looked to see what the time was. “When did you get home?” 

“A few hours ago I think.” He laughed when your eyes widened slightly. “It’s almost seven.” 

“Seven?” You checked your phone to make sure he wasn’t messing with you, and sure enough, you’d slept for over four hours. “Damn, sorry, I didn’t realize.” 

“I would’ve woken you up but I figured you needed the rest.” Kuroo smiled when you shook your head, moving to sit on the edge of the bed now. “No, you’ve been pushing yourself a lot, you can take a nap once in a while.” 

You didn’t respond to that knowing he was probably right, even if you felt a little guilty. 

“Have you eaten dinner?”

“No.” He answered after a second, his hand rubbing the back of his neck. “I wanted to wait for you so you weren’t eating alone.” 

“Oh my god, you’re adorable.” You laughed, shifting under the blankets to look at him better, still not wanting to pull yourself from the warmth yet. “You did not have to wait for me.”

“It’s fine, I wasn’t too hungry. I’d rather eat with you anyway.” He looked away for a second but you could still see the slight tinge of pink dusting his cheeks. 

“Hmm. You think dinner could wait a little longer?” 

“Yeah, I think so.” Kuroo turned back to you, an interested look adorning his face now at the tone of your voice. “Why?”

“C’mere.” You pushed back the blankets just enough to open up a spot for him next to you. “I don’t want to get out of bed yet.”

“You’re kidding.”

“You should rest too, you were up before the crack of dawn today.” You knew he’d been working hard on his classes lately, probably even harder than you.

“I’m fine.”

“Tetsu.” You started, glaring up at him, there was no way he should be able to let you rest without allowing some time for him as well. “Get your ass over here, I swear.”

“Oh my god fine.” He laughed, shaking his head a little before obliging and crawling under the blankets with you. Immediately wrapping his arms around you to pull you against him. 

“That’s better, I knew something was missing.” You sighed, closing your eyes once again as you laid your head against his chest, somehow he was even warmer than you were before.

“It’s been a while since we’ve done this, huh.” He mumbled after a minute, his hand rubbing soft circles against your back slowing slightly. 

“Yeah, it has.” You couldn’t even fully remember the last time the two of you just laid in bed like that. “Probably since last semester.”

“I think your right.” His voice was softer now, and it took him a long moment to answer. “Don’t you dare fall asleep again.”

“Take your own advice.” You spoke softly, knowing how easily he fell asleep, it was almost as soon as he shut his eyes. He was most likely just seconds away from falling asleep now. “Just go to sleep.”

“Mmm, fine. Love you.”

“I love you too”

[tzyuki]

[ 정원 ] OBLS ꒰ Y.JW x F!READER

001. ranking low | written (770 wrds)

IN WHICH ?! — Years after filming a viral documentary in 8th grade, two former enemies get pulled back in front of cameras but for an idol reality show.

It wasn’t like Seok Y/n tried to score low on purpose, it’s just every exam she’s ever taken she’s always…ranking low. She’s studied for them, but her notes barely helped her. She hated the idea of getting a tutor. She just wanted to get it done herself plus she's saving her parents some money, right?

Y/n ranked number 231 in her grade…the whole eighth grade was 231 students. She thinks it's a miracle she got into Decelis Academy, you had to be super smart to get accepted. Her grades were better at the time and she didn't expect to go from top 20 to well— 231. She wasn’t dumb or anything like that. The other students were just way smarter than her while she was too busy with other stuff.

The other stuff being obsessed with kpop idols. She loved singing and performing and it soon became a big dream for her. Her parents said she was just too much into her head and should stop it.

“Did your rank go up, Y/n?” Ryu Ash asked. “No,” Y/n sighed. “Did yours?” 

“Just a little, and are you sure you don’t wanna get a tutor?” Ash raised her eyebrow. “Yes, I’m sure! I want to be able to learn by myself and plus! I’m saving my parents some money.” Y/n shrugged her shoulders.

“You say that all the time,” Ash rolled her eyes. “You should just get a job and pay for someone’s notes.” Ash suggested. “You can do that?” Y/n gasped softly.

“I don’t know, I heard someone did that.” Ash smiled downward. “You should definitely try and get your ranks up for this semester though!” 

“I’m trying, where would I get a job? and whose notes would I pay for? Not everyone here is nice and sharing y’know.” 

“You’re right, people are stubborn in this school.” Ash had her thinking face on. “Oh!” A sudden lightbulb lit up in her head. “Ask Yang Jungwon’s friend— w-what's his name? kim seon?” 

“Kim Seonwoo?” Y/n said. “Yes! Him!” Ash clapped out of excitement. “He’s nice, but someone like Jungwon— he’s not gonna agree.” Y/n nodded her head out of disagreement.

“It’d be embarrassing to even ask.” 

—

“Did you think about that offer I told you about?” Mr. Choi asked Jungwon. “If you think it’ll get in your way of your studies you can refuse.”

The offer was a documentary about the highest and lowest ranking student of Decelis Academy, Jungwon did think about it. 

“Will I get paid?” 

He thought about money. 

“Of course you’ll be paid.” Mr. Choi nodded his head. “I’ll think about it.” Jungwon bowed before walking off back to his class.

“You’re getting paid! what do you mean “I’ll think about it”. Jihu scoffed. “I don’t know, what if I get sick of cameras being in front of me?” Jungwon shrugged his shoulders.

“That’s crap, I love cameras in front of me! If I was ranked one I would've said yes in a millisecond.” Jihu’s hands rested on his rest, seojun thought he looked like his dad. “Oh but you're not.” Seojun teased.

“Okay, you’re almost ranked last. What if it was me and you in the documentary? Imagine that. I’d probably fight you.” Jihu playfully threw his hands up like he was about to punch seojun. 

“Who’s even ranked last?” Seonwoo asked. “Some girl named y/n? She’s one of the owners of that Decelis Dump account, with that pretty foreign girl Sami.” Seojun answered and seonwoo’s mouth slightly dropped, nodding his head.

“I heard she used to be in the top twenty, what happened?” Jihu asked, the four of them sitting down in their seats, all facing each other. “She got too caught up with kpop, I guess she wants to be an idol now?” Seojun’s head slightly tilted as he spoke.

“I mean cool for her, but how could she let her ranks drop that low.” Jihu was confused. “She gets distracted easily— ” Seojun got cut off.

“Are you guys talking about Y/n?” Lee Eunjin said suddenly, she was eavesdropping the whole time. Obviously she knew they were talking about her.

“Yeah.” Seojun sheepishly smiled. “Don’t talk about her ranks, she’s trying— and you, Kim Seonwoo. Get to your actual class.” 

“Don’t worry, Eunjin. I wasn’t gonna stay long, have a good day.” Seonwoo bowed and then turned to his friends. “I’ll see you guys after school.” He waved bye before leaving the class and going to his floor.

“You’re such a party pooper, eunji.” Seojun sulked. 

“Don’t call me that.” Eunjin blushed slightly at the nickname.

m.list — previous — next

taglist (CLOSED) . . . @iulrma @jangwonie @lvepsh @mintydayeon @inlovewsimjaeyun @yvesismywife @summercakeluvr @notdrunkbutdazed @koakyuu @shinsou-rii @luviehyck @trsrina @enhacolor @butterflyy-ningg @nctaespasworld @2bbang-hoon @hyeunfae @suk1z @love-4-keum @i-yeseo

[qqueenofhades]

Hi, do you have any tips on telling professors you’re dealing with depression? Like is it helpful to include details? Symptoms? It’s getting to the point in the last few days where I need to tell them something because I have assignments piling up and the symptoms I’m experiencing are getting pretty intense.

If It helps I think I’m dealing with atypical depression just based on how I relate to the symptoms list (leaden paralysis, oversleeping, severe rsd, can’t focus on anything even more than usual, just feeling an overwhelming physical emptiness in my brain). Ive been doing ok when I’m in class and I feel better then too, but when it’s done, as soon as I get home or am just you know trying to do my assignments or anything, it’s like a curtain falls on me. This has been creeping up on me for the last few weeks and I can recognize the circumstances that lead me here, but I feel like I’ve crossed a threshold in the last week from just having these worries and thoughts I could control to now this full blown physical Depression Experience that has control over me.

I don’t want to overshare so to speak and make my professors uncomfortable or permanently see me differently, but I also desperately want to be believed and accurately convey how disabled I feel right now in a practical sense. Just writing this all out to you took so much effort. I’m not really sure what to even ask for beyond extending my assignments to this weekend. This depression is so unlike what I’ve experienced in the past and I really don’t know where it’s going or what to expect. A part of me is hoping I’m just going to feel normal again in a few days but I can hardly think more than a few days out anyway.

I know all teachers are different but what would you want to hear and be ok with hearing from one of your students? What would you want to know?

Thank you so much for reading this and for any advice. I’m really sorry to just dump all of this here, I’m just not really sure where to turn right now. Please of course don’t feel pressured to answer. Thank you for your lovely blog and self. ❤️

Ooof. First of all, thanks for coming to me and I'm sure it took a lot of effort to put that together. I know that all-consuming, black-hole depression feeling, and it's not fun.

Here's what I would do:

First, reach out to your student counseling/health services center as a matter of priority. Almost every university has one, and they encourage you to take advantage of them. If that takes too much effort to do when you're in a funk, try to do it when you're on campus or have a little more energy. Say that you're really struggling and need to come in for an urgent appointment -- you don't need any more info than that, and they should be responsive/proactive about following up. There might also be a crisis line or priority email where you're assured a response in a certain amount of time.

Next, please do contact your professors and let them know what's going on! Here's a sample email for you:

Dear Dr. [Name],

I'm writing today to let you know in confidence that I'm experiencing severe mental health difficulties, which have been growing worse over the last few weeks and are negatively affecting my ability to participate in class. I am reaching out to the university counseling centers and other resources, but I am not feeling well at all and hope that you will be able to make adjustments to the deadline for [exam/project/paper etc -- fill in as necessary].

I will do my best to complete my work as expected, but please let me know if it is possible to arrange a meeting [via phone or Zoom if you don't want to come in], and discuss my options. I would like to know about the possibility of an incomplete grade or other ways to [pause/resolve/work with] my status for this semester.

I do apologize for any inconvenience, and hope that you'll be able to provide me with understanding and support in this difficult matter. I very much appreciate your time and consideration.

Best wishes,

[Your Name]

Hopefully, you can just copy and paste that with a minimum of effort, tweak it as necessary, and send to them. You can also reach out to the Disability Services office (as every university is required to have one) and see if accommodations can be made/allow you to complete work at a later date. If it's really bad, you also have the right to contact the university registrar and arrange for a leave of absence.

Anyway, this is to say: you have options to take care of yourself and make sure that the people around you know what is going on and can help develop a plan to deal with it, so please do take them! I know how awful and draining it feels, but if you need any other advice, please let me know, and I will do my best to answer. If you have a Tumblr account and want to DM me privately with more details, like the name of your university etc, I can also look for these resources and give you the information, so as to minimize the amount of pressure and extra work on you.

Hugs. <3

[quibbs126]

I just wish I could function like a normal person

I wish I could just do my work, I wish I could be proactive with these things

I wish I could care about the things I need to do, I wish I could care about my failures. I wish I could remember what I need to do and why it’s important, instead of just thinking it’s no big deal and wasting my precious free time doing nothing instead, so that I don’t have to scramble to get a boatload of things done in a single day

I wish my mind could just cooperate with me, and that we could be able to just do things. Like read my textbooks, do my homework before the night it’s due, look for a job, make a resume, schedule an appointment with CAPS, do the things I said I’d do because I need to do them but still haven’t. And I wish I could feel something about the fact that I don’t

I almost miss that horrible weight in my chest that I got last semester when I failed to do things, because at least then I felt something. I mean yeah sure, I’m doing my work now (even if some of it I’m still not doing), so that’s probably why it’s lessened, but I’m not doing better in my classes, or at least the ones that matter to my major. But my mind just doesn’t care

I shouldn’t look at getting a 35 on an exam, the lowest I’ve ever gotten on an exam, and feel nothing about it. I should be feeling shame, disappointment in myself, I should feel like I want to cry. I shouldn’t just not care

Sorry, this is probably all unnecessary. I should be telling these thoughts to people who can actually do something about it in my life, not just telling them to the Internet. Felt like just writing about it, since that seems to be the only way I can explain myself when it comes to my feelings. And even then, I’m not gonna act like I’m a masterclass at my emotions this way either, I’m still bad at explaining myself

[4kominato]

A/N: Hiiii sorry it's lateee (as usual). I finally got a chance to breathe bc its spring break rn... but also this is my last academic semester!! after finals this May its only rotations til graduation!! thank god... so i should have more free time after May! ~kuri

@ssnyda Request: I would like to request a scenario where there's some tension between Carlos and reader before smut ensues? Like in the locker rooms or something.. Since Carlos seems like a pretty nice guy all in all, I'd prefer if it also ends on a sweet note as well, thanks!

Pairing: Kamiya Carlos Toshiki x F!Reader

Genre: Smut (M) - SEXUAL CONTENT

Word Count: 3.4K

Finally, you thought to yourself as the cram school bell rang. You’d promised your boyfriend, Carlos, that you’d watch his pre-season scrimmage against Seido this evening before going out to dinner together, but your dumbass managed to forget that you had cram school at the same time, even though you’ve had the same cram school schedule for the past two years. Instead of telling him you couldn’t make it though, you decided it’d be a good idea to sprint back to the school as soon as your class ended and make it just in time to catch the last few innings. But no, of course it wouldn’t work out that perfectly. By the time you get back to school the whole field and the stands are completely deserted with absolutely no players or spectators in sight.

“Dammit!” you cursed to yourself, face palming at your own pride and stupidity. You should’ve just been honest with him and told him you would only be able to make it to dinner.

“Looking for Carlos?” a familiar, monotonous voice spoke up, snapping you out of it.

“Oh, Shirakawa-kun, hi,” you chuckled nervously, “Yeah, I’m looking for Carlos. Sorry I missed the scrimmage…”

“It’s fine, you didn’t miss much. Seido’s batting line-up is pretty shit right now. We won without even trying.”

“Ouch… Well, hopefully they get it together before the season starts, but still congrats on the win. Anyways, so where’s Carlos?”

“The last I saw him he was still in the locker room. I think he should be almost done by now.”

“Cool. Thanks Shirakawa-kun! Nice talking to you!” You quickly excused yourself with a bow, to which Shirakawa returned a brief wave before the two of you parted ways.

When you arrived at the men’s locker room, the door was propped open so you called first without entering, “Carlos? Are you in there?”

“Yeah,” he answered back almost immediately, “You can come in. No one else is in here.”

You were reluctant to enter, considering it was the men’s locker room, so you popped your head in first, then entered once you confirmed it really was only Carlos in there. When you spotted him, he was standing in front of one of the lockers, without a shirt on, seemingly doing nothing… though you didn’t miss the opportunity to check out his beautifully sculpted back and arm muscles since they were out on display.

“U-uh, Carlos…?” you spoke up once you collected yourself after the initial shock of seeing him shirtless.

“Hm?” he responded, turning towards you to reveal his chiseled front side making you almost choke on air. Darting your eyes away, you gulped hard before responding.

“W-why… are you just standing there? Without a shirt on?” you murmured, eyes glued to the floor. There was definitely mutual knowledge that this was the first time you’d seen him half naked, but while you were flustered by the situation, Carlos appeared unphased; or maybe he was actually enjoying your reaction.

“Why aren’t you looking at me when you’re talking to me, hm?” he answered back with a smirk that you barely managed to make out through your peripherals as he slowly approached you. “You’re not embarrassed to see your own boyfriend without a shirt on, are you?”

In the blink of an eye he was standing right in front of you, hands creeping around your waist as he pulled you flush against him and despite your previous inability to look at him directly, the close proximity made staring at his beautiful face and upper body irresistible. You were so dazed that it didn't even occur to you that you were just standing limply in his hold until he commented, “You can touch me too y’know,” with a chuckle.

You could feel your face heating up and your heart beating faster thinking about where this could lead. You’d be lying to say you hadn’t fantasized about it before… many times before… but leaving cram school today, you didn’t expect in the slightest that tonight would be the night that you reached home base, and you definitely didn’t think it’d be in the locker room.

Just as you lifted your hands and placed them onto his firm chest, an obnoxious but familiar voice startled you, making you impulsively jolt away and break out of your still calm boyfriend’s grasp.

“Carlos?! Carlos! Are you still in there?” The voice grew louder until a shorter boy with blonde hair emerged from the doorway, his face lighting up upon seeing the one whom he was searching for standing before him, “Thank god you’re here, I’ve been looking everywhere for you! What’s taking you so long? You’ve been in here since the end of the scrimmage!”

“I was debating if I should put my shirt on or not,” he replied dryly, not bothered at all by Mei’s judgment.

“What? Why? You never wear a shirt anyways,” Mei remarked, puzzled over Carlos’s unusual predicament.

“We’re going out to dinner,” he answered, gesturing his head towards you as he spoke, to which the blonde refocused his attention in your direction.

“Oh, hi! You were so quiet I didn’t even notice you there!” Mei chuckled and slung an arm around you.

“Or maybe you’re just too loud and oblivious,” you responded sheepishly whilst you still attempted to collect yourself after the heated moment you were having with your boyfriend just moments before.

“Hey, that’s not nice,” Mei whined with a pout, “But really, you seem a little, hm… flustered. What’s wrong?”

“This is the first time I’ve been shirtless in front of her. Let her breathe, man.” Carlos shook his head with an exasperated sigh at his routinely obnoxious teammate.

“What?! Are you serious?!” Mei laughed out-loud in disbelief before turning to you, “I would’ve thought you’d seen this guy naked already because he literally never wears clothes around here, especially in the dorms.”

“W-what?” You sputtered, not knowing how to respond. This was news to you, but even the sheer thought of Carlos naked had you biting your lip and clenching your thighs together; maybe you even felt a bit jealous that the baseball team got the chance to see your boyfriend nude on numerous occasions while you’d yet to see it for yourself.

“Okay, okay, that’s enough,” Carlos finally stepped in, flicking Mei in the forehead before pulling you out of his grasp.

“Ow! Rude!” he whined, rubbing his forehead to ease the pain. “Well anyways, I came to ask if you wanted to come to yakiniku with us. I’m going with Masa-san, Shirakawa, and Itsuki, but I guess you already have dinner plans so nevermind. Later!” Throwing up a wave, Mei finally made his way out of the locker room without another word. Thank god; you thought he was never gonna leave…

Upon Mei’s exit, Carlos followed close behind to close and lock the door, preventing the possibility of any further interruptions. “Now, where were we?” Carlos asked rhetorically as he re-approached you, cupping your face in his hands.

“I was admiring your body,” you admitted without shame, desperate to pick up where the two of you left off.

“Right, right… and I was saying you don’t have to be shy to touch me.” Leaning in to connect your lips, his hands, soon after, slid from your cheeks and slowly down your neck, creeping to your shoulders and then down the length of your arms until they reached your wrists. Eagerly, but gently he guided your hands up to his toned abdomen, encouraging you to caress him to your heart’s content. Entranced by the passion in his kiss, you were unable to resist the invitation to feel him up so you did; delicately you traced every crevice with your fingertips and explored every inch of his exposed torso, working your way up from his v-cut to his pecks.

Your breath hitched in your throat and heat rushed between your legs at the feeling of Carlos thrusting his hips flush against you, revealing to you how hard he’d gotten. Knowing now that he wanted you made your desire for him amplify more than you even thought possible; while still eagerly savoring the taste of his lips and tongue you pulled your uniform tie loose and aggressively began unbuttoning your dress shirt.

“Hasty, aren’t you?” Carlos pulled away with a smirk spread across his glistening lips.

“I want you,” you admitted without hesitation, peeling your top from your shoulders and letting the garment fall to the floor. “I’ve been wanting to for a while now, but our schedules just haven’t been able to line up…”

“Aw, baby,” Carlos cooed, wrapping his arms around your torso to unhook your bra, “You should have told me. I could have snuck you into my dorm any time… and bought some condoms ahead of time.” Pinning you against the closed lockers, he peppered kisses along your neck whilst he tenderly cupped one of your breasts in his palm. As his plump lips worked their way further down your collarbone and chest, it wasn’t long before they encompassed your free nipple, sucking and nipping at it without neglecting your other breast, continuing his fondling with gentle, circular motions.

“It’s ah-alright…” you struggled to speak amongst Carlos’s amazing service, “I s-started birth control a-as soon as we started da-ating…”

“Hm, wow. What a good girl,” he hummed in delight as he slid even further down your body, his hands grazing your hips before smoothly slipping them under your uniform skirt to hook his fingers into the waistband of your panties. “You’ve been preparing for this all along, huh?”

“Yes,” you gulped in anticipation, and before you could say anything more, he had your panties pooled at your ankles and you could feel your own wetness trickling down your inner thighs.

“Yeah, I see that.” He observed with a deep chuckle, brows raised in amusement as he swatched a sample of the copious arousal seeping through your lower lips. Chills ran down your spine as you watched him take your essence into his mouth and lick his fingers clean with a satisfied expression on his face. “You taste delicious,” he praised as he guided you to sit on one of the benches and pushed your skirt up enough for him to see you in all your glory.

Hooking one of your legs over his shoulder, his tongue wasted no time delving into the depths of your slick folds, briefly teasing your entrance before slowly dragging his wet muscle up to your clit. After circling and flicking it a few times bare, his lips joined in on the fun, enveloping the sensitive bulb as his tongue continued with its skillful stimulation.

“Mm-ngh… Carlos…” you whimpered in a failed attempt to stifle your moan out of fear that a random passerby outside would hear what was going on; but whatever magic your boyfriend was working down there felt so damn amazing that he managed to break you just a little bit. You didn’t think your stamina was all that bad, but now he definitely had you second guessing.

“C-Carlo-os I-I’m—“

“Close? I know,” he interrupted smuggly, pulling away only momentarily to speak before he resumed God’s work, but with a kick this time. To your surprise, he slipped two of his slender digits into your core, adding stimulation from the inside whilst his mouth continued its assault from the outside.

“C-Carlos—!?” you squealed, face scrunched and toes curled as he effortlessly pushed you over the edge. Though it wasn’t much to work with, you gripped the back edge of the narrow locker room bench from behind for dear life as the bliss exploding from between your legs surged through the rest of your trembling body. The orgasm he induced had you feeling so weak that it felt like your arms could give out on you any second, but you did everything in your ability to hold yourself up because more than anything, you didn’t want the euphoria to end.

You didn’t do it consciously, but you must’ve made a disappointed sound or expression as the warmth of his mouth and fingers receded, but with his clean hand, Carlos tilted your chin up to place the most chaste kiss to your lips. “Don’t look so sad. Y’know I’m not done yet, right?”

Swinging a leg over the bench, he straddled it facing you as his hands went straight to his belt, then pants, hastily undoing both of them enough to access the waistband of his briefs. “Babe, c’mere,” he called in a deep, sultry tone that immediately perked you up, “This is what you wanted, isn’t it?”

You watched like a hawk as his hooked thumb pulled the spandex material over the prominent bulge hidden beneath, the suspense of the reveal making you utterly restless in your seat. When his firm manhood finally sprang from the confines, you felt like you could come again in that instant just from looking at it; it was even sexier than you could’ve ever imagined.

“Well, don’t just stare,” he chuckled, obviously flattered by your reaction, “Come here and give me a nice fastball right down the middle so I can hit a homerun, hm? Or maybe a few if you can go for that long.”

That was all you needed to hear to completely drop your self-restraints and pounce him like a bitch in heat. It took you about point five seconds to position yourself on top of him while he gently guided your hips down to align his tip perfectly with your entrance. Having absolutely zero patience, you lowered yourself onto him, letting his girth stretch your cavernous flesh as his length inched its way up to kiss your womb. 

“Damn, baby. Does it feel okay?” he half asked, half groaned, to which you nodded aggressively because you were actually far beyond okay… you were more like in heaven or something to that caliber. “Tell me if something hurts or doesn’t feel good,” he assured as he steadily thrusted his hips upward, then retracted just as slowly to gauge your response to his movement before picking up the pace.

“It’s good, but…” you mumbled breathily as you wrapped your arms and legs around his torso, face nuzzling into his neck, “Please go faster…”

“Faster?” he questioned with a chuckle, “I can’t deny a request like that, but still make sure to tell me if it hurts.”

Not even a moment after you gave him an affirmative nod, his hands were on your ass, stabilizing you while he bucked his hips up into you like a wild animal, making you bounce erratically on top of him.

“A-ah… Ca-arlo-os…!” you cried out choppily, the feeling of his cock pulverizing your insides making your whole mind go blank; the only thing you could process was how good he was making you feel and how close you were to coming again.

“You okay?” Carlos asked breathily without slowing his pace at all, “Too fast?”

“I-I’m s-so c-clo-ose…” you moaned barely coherently, given how winded the bouncing was making you.

“Then come. Don’t be shy,” he growled, his throaty groans making your insides churn, the end drawing even nearer in only a matter of seconds. It only took a few more strokes before your toes were curling, nails digging into his muscular back as the tension in your core rapidly unraveled until the tingling feeling of euphoria burst inside of you, making you cry out into his neck while your tender walls pulsated around his angry cock. His thrusting slowed, but not to a complete stop as you came down from that hell of a high.

“Fuck, you’re so sexy, baby,” he groaned with his brows knit together and head rolled back, “Think you can go one more time?”

“W-wha–? Ah–!” Before you could even really answer he was back to relentlessly bucking his hips up into you and bouncing you like a freakin’ basketball. You didn’t actually think you could come again, but after another ten seconds or so of him hitting that glorious spot within, you could feel a third climax creeping up on you, threatening to strike at any given moment. To your surprise, a deep grunt resonated from Carlos’s broad chest, making you gasp and the feeling of warmth filling your insides followed soon after. The sheer thought of the situation was enough to give you that final push over the edge, making you squeal from both pleasure and a hint of overstimulation; you could barely even breathe by the time Carlos’s movements came to a stop.

“I must say…” he started with a breathy chuckle, still obviously catching his breath, “I didn’t think you’d actually come three times. I’m impressed.”

“I didn’t think so either…” you replied just as breathlessly, “You were just… so good…”

“I’m not the lead-off man for nothing. As long as I hit, I can get on base.”

“Can you stop with the stupid baseball puns?” you giggled and whacked him lightly on the chest.

“Why? You think they’re funny don’t you?” he laughed with you.

“No, they’re stupid…” But despite your answer, you were still loopy and laughing as you spoke. Cupping his face in your hands, you pulled him into a loving kiss, tongues dancing between your lips. The moment was soon ruined, however, by the sound of pounding on the door and a voice that both of you were hoping not to hear again for the rest of the evening.

“Are you guys done in there yet?” Mei yelled without even the slightest hint of remorse.

“No, why?” Carlos snapped back.

“I left my phone in there! We didn’t even go to yakiniku yet!”

“That sounds like a you problem.”

“Ugh, can you just hurry up?! Make up for what all of us had to hear out here!”

“No one said you had to listen.”

“It was hard not to with how loud you guys were!”

Shaking his head, Carlos gave up arguing with his snarky teammate, knowing that if he wanted to, they could go on forever. “Hold still, alright? I’m gonna get you cleaned up,” he announced to you as he stood up from the bench and walked into the bathroom to grab some toilet paper to wipe the remnants from both you and the bench. He helped you gather your clothes and redress before redressing himself, and thankfully he put a shirt on too. Once the two of you helped each other to look presentable enough to go out to dinner, you nervously followed behind Carlos as he unlocked and opened the locker room door.

“Finally!” the blonde nearly yelled, pushing through the door into the locker room. “Jesus, it’s so stuffy in here!”

“It’ll air out in a few minutes,” Carlos answered back as he grabbed your hand and led you out. “We’re going to dinner now. Bye,” he added as he quickly rushed out before Mei could catch up. He knew he’d hear all about it from the team later tonight because there’s no doubt that Mei told everyone, but that was a problem he’d deal with after you guys enjoyed your romantic dinner. Afterall, it’s not every day the two of you get to spend quality time together like this.

“Oh and by the way…” you spoke up as the two of you walked hand in hand towards the school exit, “Sorry I missed the scrimmage… I forgot I had cram school and couldn’t make it back in time.”

“I know,” he replied, unphased, “I realized after I asked you that our scrimmage was during your cram school time. I thought maybe you said yes because it got canceled this week or something like that, but as soon as I saw you didn’t come I knew you just forgot about it.”

“Oh…” you chuckled sheepishly, embarrassed but relieved that he apparently had it all figured out already. “So… this means you’re not upset with me right?”

“No? Of course not. Dinner is the important part; that’s our date. I only invited you to the game because you said you like to watch me play. There will be plenty of other ones for you to watch though so don’t even worry about it.”

You could feel a grin tugging at your lips at the sound of his reassuring words as you wondered how you were so lucky to have found such a laid-back and understanding boyfriend. Even as a busy, first string baseball player at a prestigious school, he never failed to set aside adequate time to spend with you. It’s his effort and consideration that makes your moments together so much more special and always worth the wait.

[emilycollins00]

Can I request a Kazunari x reader where neither of them is sure if their relationship is platonic/romantic?

Yes, yes, yes!! Literally went from not really sure how to start this to reinventing it all SO fast like-? The only answer I find is that I might love Kazunari too much which honestly, fair.

Please enjoy! 💕

Promise me we won’t let go (Kazunari x Platonic/Romantic! Reader)

Kazunari believes he has -over time of course, he was never this smooth despite what others might believe- been able to gain certain knowledge, regarding other people’s feelings and what they look for.

This obviously carries its own problems as well.

He had already admitted to himself long ago being overly accommodating to keep up with every single soul’s like and dislike he met: Kazunari is so good at listening! in his ears translated to, if he spoke up, he might end up saying the wrong thing -because people like to have someone who listens. Even those you’re so easy-going! came from learning to control his opinions to a degree that his real thoughts felt more like a side note.

Regarding this aspect, Mankai had certainly been an eye-opening experience. A before and after point in his life.

Thanks to everyone at the dorm -and especially his super-amazingly-cool-and-talented summer troupe members buddies- current Kazunari was more confident than ever in standing by what he actually enjoyed. Last week he even turned down quite the bizarre idea for that group project he had to present for his graphics and Illustration course! Like, hello? Yes. Kazunari Miyoshi was proud to say he had grown.

Which lead the blond actor to wonder, after seven Thursday nights in a row spent dancing with you until wee hours of the morning, whether this is the point he should be asking himself if you two were turning into a thing.

Seven weeks, and it's become such a regular thing that both of you have built your schedules around it, changing plans to ensure you two can make it out to the pub no matter what else is going on. He never gave it much thought. You both have known each other for years, after all. And yet-

A sudden buzz coming from his phone distracts him.

Are you finished with your classes? I'm in the cafeteria and I wanna see you before I leave back to the library.

He can’t help but notice his mood lights up considerably when the icon that pops on his screen is from you. Humming quietly, he enters the conversation.

Almost done! On my way~

He adds a few stickers and concentrates again on the professor's instructions about where they'll have to submit their canvas for the exam. Minutes later and learning storaged, he picks up his bag and waves a quick goodbye at the group he shares classes with. It’s almost six o’clock, and the summer actor enjoys the breeze and bustle of people while scrolling instablam’s stories, opting to go straight to where you were. His reflection shows on the phone briefly. He pouts and fixes his bangs. Maybe he should have worn his hat? His roots were starting to grow back and-

“Yo, Kazunari.”

“Oh?” he looks into the direction the familiar voice was coming. “Setzer, my man! What’s up? Never saw you around this time before.”

The purple-eyed clicked his tongue. “Class got cancelled. Talk about annoyin’” A noise from his pocket makes Banri pick up his phone, roaming through it distractedly. “Ya leavin’ too?”

“Ah, my bad. Y/N-pii is on their break at the cafeteria. I’m going to pass by before heading home. Wanna join?”

“Nah, pass. Got a paper due so might as well go and finish it.” Still looking at the phone, the autumn member frowns. “…Talkin’ bout Y/N-san, do ya think they are free next weekend?”

“Next weekend? Probably. Why?”

The autumn member sighs. “It’s Sora’s birthday.”

“Sora… The one we meet that time at the after-party of your club?” Kazunari’s mind goes back to the events just last semester. They were one of the first people Banri had gotten to know from his major at uni and honestly had a blast at the time. “Sounds boom! How are they doing?”

“Fine, I suppose. They have this house near the river where they want to do a barbeque  and has been askin’ me to contact Y/N-san.”

Kazunari thinks about it. You have always enjoyed get-togethers, especially birthdays. Moreover, even the few times you met with Banri’s friends he remembers you commenting how much you enjoyed it. “Mmm… I don’t think it’d be a problem? Y/N-pii is the type to let you know if something comes up anyway so you should totally ask them!”

“Sweet. They have been so freaking’ insistent about it.” Banri sighs, relieved. Yet as he’s about to start writing, he seems to falter, stopping his fingers midtrack. He looks at the blond, and his eyebrow frown confused. Kazunari has lived long enough with him to know he’s debating to say or do something -which is not really typical of Banri.

It makes him uncomfortable.

“Yahoo, earth to Setzer?” he laughs, waving in front of him. “Your eyes are creeping me out, man! You ‘kay?”

The autumn leader takes notice of his own actions and massages his neck. “My bad. I was just… you’re good, right?” he arches his eyebrows.

“Whadaya mean?”

“You know, my friend asking Y/N-san out. ”

Oh.

Should it bother Kazunari to know others were interested in you?

“It’s not like we are dating,” he replies with a short laugh. “Even if we were, Sora seems fun to hang out with, and a barbeque of all things? I bet it’s going to be epic! Remember to snap some cool pics to show off later!” he pats the young actor’s back.

"Okay, okay, you can stop now." This time, he does write on his phone with decision -though Kazunari notices him glancing in his direction one last time. “Then, I’ll let Sora know. Thanks, man.”

“No prob~ careful on your way home!”

Soon after he resumes his walk, another buzz and light come from his screen phone. It’s you again. He looks at the time and understands why you would write. It had gotten late.

Everything okay, prince charming?

He smiles at the nickname. And as a matter of fact, Kazunari feels okay with what just happened. Maybe. Honestly he can’t really make up his mind. But he’s no one to decide who you should hang out with in any case.

Found Setzer leaving uni and stopped to talk. Save me a seat!

Pff as if I hadn’t done that already you silly.

The sudden rethinking about your relationship shouldn't make him this weird.

.

.

.

For the longest time you came to keep certain parts of your personality hidden. The rough, ugly parts. At least in your opinion.

Maybe that’s why you are able to see through Kazunari. A side of him that no one else saw, or at least that’s what your selfish self liked to think. To the world, Kazunari is a friendly, fashionable, and outgoing art student who also handles all too well graphic designs and whatever you may throw at him. Always open to being friends with anyone who crosses paths with him, no matter who they are.

As years pass by, your relationship has unfolded into whatever intimate thing it might have become nowadays. Now, you see more. You see his actual dorkiness. You see the way he gets frustrated with himself when ideas don’t come no matter how much he tries when the answer to the problem eludes him. See how incredibly smart he is. How much he truly loves studying. How selfless he is. You see the faint traces of what you can only call sadness when Kazunari mentions smiling at someone's low opinion of him as a person. How his eyes sparkle when he’s talking about a new art event.

He told you about his old days one time. It made you want to tell everybody who had never bothered to get this close to seeing the real him you didn't try hard enough. Which is why you couldn’t thank more in your mind to Tsuzuru’s unaware assistance for reaching Kazunari and allowing him to become the passionate actor he has come to be.

So yeah, you could say you with confidence you adored Kazunari.

And yet, there was something bothering you for a while.

You two have gotten used to people mistaking you for a couple. You didn’t pay much thought to it since you are both incredibly clingy with each other, and to be fair half of your instablams are photos of the two of you -and others, sometimes.

What you do notice, is that neither you nor Kazunari correct people when they assume so anymore.

What you notice is that you can hardly wait for it to Thursday night and be alone with him, even if you see each other almost everyday. And it scares you a bit.

.

.

.

.

“So! What are you in the mood for before we hit the pub?”

You hum in thought. It’s gotten late, so you are sure the places you two usually go to must be almost full. “I'd like something cheap. This month I’m almost broke-” You sneeze. “Also preferably inside. Didn’t know it was going to be this cold today.”

“Hang on a sec, I gotchu!” happily, Kazunari takes off his jacket and puts it on you, making you sight. That was much better. “Aw, you’re so cute! Stay still!” he coos taking up his phone.

You laugh, letting him take a picture. “’Kay but give me your arm. I can at least give you some heat back.”

It feels like usual. You both decide to try some pizzas at a place near some park and are about to head inside when you hear someone calling your name in the distance. You wait a bit to recognize the person. Kazunari doesn't, mostly because of the talk he had with Banri not too long ago. Assuring he will wait for your conversation to ask for dinner, he takes his phone out to entertain himself.

Not too long he notices you walking back, and it takes even less time to know something is wrong. You are not looking at him, after all.

“Y/N-pii?"

"Shall we go?"

"Sure but are you ‘kay? Cuz I can-”

“No!” you hurry, almost tripping over your words in a rush to cut him up. “It’s- it’s fine.” You say under your breath, moving far from him. “You really don’t want to know.”

Smooth, Y/N.

You whimper, still holding tight onto Kazunari’s jacket. It really does smell like him and you feel like crying at how much it calms you down. You look into the blond's eyes. There's worry. And of course, that's what it takes for you to give in.

"Y/N-pii?"

“…can we sit?”

.

.

.

“One drink coming right up!~”

You watch Kazunari walk towards you with a bottle of water that you open instantly as he sits next to you. This was the last conversation you wanted to have and yet somehow, destiny decided it should happen. You close the bottle. Ok then.

“So!” You finally speak with more confidence than you felt. “Sora invited me to their birthday party next weekend.” Kazunari nodded. That, he also knew. “Seemed fun, so then I asked if you could come too.”

“Me?”

You shrugged, playing with the bottle. “We met them together and I thought we all had a good time. Remember the karaoke?”

“Duh. Who knew their club was so good at impersonating?”

“Right? That was so cool.”

The conversation somehow ends there. A bark in the distance catches your attention.

“...So? What did Sora say?”

You press your lips, leaving the bottle to the side.

“They asked if I was dating you. And I…? I didn’t know what to say.” you take some air and lean back on the bench, closing your eyes. You feel Kazunari tense up and you don’t wanna see it. “Like, I know we are not because- actually I don’t know. I’ve been feeling confused about… this.” You sigh, sitting back again and pointing to both of you.

The summer actor desperately wants to say something. He wants to say the right thing, because you deserve it. He wants you to feel as comfortable with him as it always is. How could something supposedly so… possibly wonderful be so intimidating at the same time?

“Kazu what… are we?”

Again, he freezes like a coward when he finds himself trapped under the intensity of your fond stare. “I-” there’s pressure in his chest. “I don’t know. I’ve been thinking about it lately too.”

“Same.”

Silence appears again. Kazunari awaits a groan, an angry puff, or any type of discomfort on your part. Yet to his surprise he hears a faint laugh. although you fought it, it was there. Free, genuine, hard, and heartfelt, eyes closed and shoulders shaking. It really isn’t hard for Kazunari to imagine a more precious sound.

You infect him. It feels good, to laugh with you. Despite everything, he feels the tension dissipating somehow. “Oh god, I’m so sorry I don’t mean-” he hears you try to explain yourself between laughs. “It’s just- ugh, we are so lame.” you finally express softly. You lean on him. “Like, having a crisis about this? at the same time?”

“At least we can use it for the art.”

“Kazu!”

You rise your head and he winks, letting you know he’s joking. You take his hand, and he squeezes it. The act comes naturally. After a while you speak, although your voice breaks a bit.

“I just- I adore you so much Kazu. And the thought of falling in love with you is great, but at the same time is it really okay for us to roll with it?”

Kazunari squeezes your hand again and leans in to kiss you on the forehead. As he imagined, your eyes are glassy. "You know?" he informs you as he lets go of your hand and hugs you tightly. "Out of aaall the people I’ve known so far in my life, you are totes at the very top. Hey, I’m serious over here!” he insists when he moves away and sees you smiling skeptic. “For realsies, your name is next to like- a bazillion of red hearts! A place reserved for the mega-talented, mega-loving Y/N As long as I’m at least high in your top too.”

“Wha- did you hear a word I just said? Of course you are!”

Kazunari smiles. “Then I think that’s good enough for us right now, don’tcha?”

You sniff and reach out to kiss his cheek this time. "Let’s continue to go out on Thursday nights," you murmur, using your wrist to remove the tears that had accumulated. "Every Thursday night unless you have a performance, in which case I will definitely go see you and then we’ll go out afterward. I don't want to hear any excuses." You let your voice turn mock-stern.

“Hai, hai captain~”

As you get up, the summer member grabs your wrist again. You look down confused, finding a gleaming pair of green eyes, showing his phone.  

“Wanna take a selfie?”

The lights from the streetlights reflect on the back of his blond hair, and you suddenly feel weak on your knees with the most overwhelming relief. You love this person so much. “Sure. It does has been more than a day since we have.” You laugh, and do your usual pose, which is resting your arms around him in an embrace as you both decide what type of filter does match better for the day.

It doesn’t matter if it takes a while to put a name on what you two have. At the moment, Kazunari simply wants to go and spend some good quality time with you.

Which is fortunate -because you feel just the same.

_________________________________________________________

This was difficult but sooo worth it and interesting to write! Thank you for your request.

Wishing you all a wonderful day! 💕

[mytrashcanlife]

As Fire Loves Innocence (Xavier Thorpe x Reader) Pt 3

Trigger Warning: Mentions of SA and Trauma, Angst, Mentions of underaged drinking. 

Xavier had walked you to the first class in the morning. You sat with Enid though, and got an introduction to Wednesday. She seemed nice enough. Enid referred to her as an “acquired taste.” You made it all the way to the last class of the day without issue. You walk into the class and take a seat at an empty table, hunching over it with your head in your hands and your eyes closed to take a breath. “Okay Y/N, you can do this. One more hour and you can go back the dorm.” “Are you talking to yourself?” You looked up quickly to find Xavier sitting next to you. “Xavier, you startled me.” “Sorry. How have you been today? Saw you met Wednesday.” “Yeah, she seems chill. I’m doing alright, just trying to make it through this last class.” “Aren’t we all right?” Just then the bell goes off and the teacher stands up at the front of the class. She welcomes us all to the semester and begins to make her way through the syllabus, letting us know we would have several projects throughout the class. “You will need a partner for those projects and whoever you are currently sitting next to will be that partner. I’ve already written down your placement so this will be the seating chart for the semester.” She begins to explain the first experiment and turns on a burner. Just as she goes to add something to a tube she trips and sends the burner toppling. Flames quickly fill the table and the other students head for the door. You hear someone yell your name and look down to find your ankle had also caught fire, but you couldn’t feel it. Before the teacher could grab the fire extinguisher you gained control of the flames. You pull your arm up slightly to test the control. The flames rise in response, and you quickly bring your arm down causing the flames to extinguish themselves. You turn around to see the class staring at you, but your gaze is caught on the fear present in Xavier’s eyes. “I think that’s enough excitement for one day. Class dismissed.” Before you can even think you’re sprinting back to your room, but before you can close the door behind you, Xavier catches it. “Are you okay? You look like you’re gonna throw up?” “I’m fine.” You hear the door close and lock behind you. “So that’s what you do? You control fire?” You can only nod. “That’s why the judge said you had to go here. You didn’t just burn a guy alive you lost control of your abilities.” You turn to face him. You can’t tell him what happened. You aren’t ready for that yet, but you also can’t let him be afraid of you. “I didn’t burn him alive! And I didn’t lose control, that’s just what I told the normies. Xavier I wouldn’t burn someone ali-” “I believe you.” “You…you do?” “Y/N the whole front of the room caught fire in seconds. You took almost less time to get control of a fire you didn’t start and put it out. I believe you.” “Okay.” “Look, I can’t stay long. The beginning of the semester is when we have the least amount of homework, so I’m heading out my shed to get some painting done before I get bogged down, but if you need anything ask Wednesday and she’ll know where I am or ask Enid and she’ll probably be able to help you better.” “Okay. Yeah. I’ll see you later.” No sooner had you spoken, he was gone, and you were left to your own thoughts. Does he really believe you? Is he just saying what he thinks you want to hear so you don’t get mad? Should I just tell him what happened? You didn’t have answers, only questions. You decide to get ready for bed and just sleep this whole day off. Maybe things would be better in the morning.

[jupyterdream]

Chapter 15: Ampere's Law

Whoooohoooo!

Chapter 15 is done!!

Taglist: @kazumaple

Warnings: Reader is psychopathic, reader is manipulative, ooc, enemies to lover, friends to lovers, slow burn, a lot of scientific jargon, reader is female, female pronouns, reader has a nickname, reader is bad person, yandere reader, do not interact if any of the above makes you uncomfortable.

Pairings: Tomo x Reader

If you wish to be added/removed from the taglist, please let me know.

Thankfully, I never had trouble making friends. 

Though, I never really considered them real friends. People you hang out with at school, sometimes outside of it, but never someone I could talk with heart to heart. 

People I became friends with, they always talked about how lucky I was to have a father who was the beloved town doctor. When I was young, I learned that my father was only strict with me, and was friendly with people who weren’t his family. I really didn’t know how to feel about it, but I just kept smiling like I always do whenever my friends sang praises about my father. I wasn’t sad about it, but I remember not being particularly happy about it either. 

So the friends I made in my first semester of college were no different. People who I never allowed myself to open up to, people who kept telling me how lucky I was to be a daughter of a doctor, how lucky I was to be born into a rich family, how lucky I was to have photographic memory. Life must be easy for me, right?

Life should be easy for me. I shouldn’t be having any problems. I’m the most fortunate person I know of. 

But I still felt empty inside. 

The only problem I knew of in my university was my physics lab partner. He was a social butterfly like me, but there was something different about how he looked at me compared to everyone else. 

Whenever he looked at me, it felt as if he saw through my soul, like he was observing every inch of me, my every movement, every aspect of my life… And sometimes, after it looked like he finished observing me, he would give me a sad smile, before going back to talking to another classmate with that bouncy voice of his. 

In all romance novels, this is the beginning of a beautiful love story. A girl meets a mysterious boy from their class who looks at them in a particular way. A lot of times, it's because the boy has some sort of temptation towards the girl, like being a vampire or something.  But somehow, I couldn’t help but notice that’s not how it was. He seemed nervous, almost like he was worried about me. 

It wasn’t until a few weeks after the semester started that I finally learned why he always looked at me like that. 

One day, the two of us got left behind alone in the lab room. Everyone else finished the lab, and the TA told us they had to leave the room for a little bit to get some supplies for the next lab. As soon as the TA left, the boy looked at me. 

“Doesn’t it get tiring to act like that all the time?”

I dropped my pencil that I was holding out of shock. Acting? Like what? What does he mean? 

“What are you talking about?” I gave him a bright smile that I always do. 

“I mean, you know? Smiling when you don’t really want to?” 

I do that a lot, but how does he know? No one ever noticed before him, I made it so that no one could notice. I acted perfectly up until now, did I slip somehow?

“Hm~? That’s not true! I’m really happy with my life, you know?” I tried to say it as normally as I could, but to be honest, I was so scared that he’d notice my lies that I didn’t know if I was able to act naturally. 

He stared at me for a few moments before asking in a low voice, “....Are you really?”

I really am. I promise! I’m so happy! 

I need to say that. I need to… I need to act like how I usually do so that I don’t trouble him. If he finds out I’m unhappy with my life, he’ll think I’m a spoiled brat for wanting more when I’m already so fortunate. So then, why? Why can’t I say it?

My throat hurts. It feels so tight. I can’t breathe. My eyes feel as if they’re being squeezed out of my socket, and I felt something fall onto my lap. Are these tears? If I keep up my smile, would he still believe me if I said I was fine? But my lips are shivering. 

“I really… am…” 

My voice sounds so weak, and now that I’ve spoken, my throat feels even tighter. Looking at him with my blurred vision, I can tell that he’s panicking. I’ve troubled him. How could I? 

“Agh! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to make you cry!” 

No that’s not it.

“It’s just, you reminded me of someone, so I couldn’t help but notice…” 

You don’t need to apologize. 

“Er… Please forget what I said.” 

Yeah, forget it. I’m fine. I’m happy. I’m supposed to be happy. I need to tell him. I need to tell him that I’m the most fortunate, happiest person alive. 

“I’m… not happy…” 

But my voice didn’t listen. 

“Huh?” 

“I’m not happy… I feel so empty inside. I have everything I could ask for, but I still manage to mess everything up. And now I’m troubling you. I’m sorry.” 

I’m sorry I’m not happy. 

I’m sorry you noticed.

I’m sorry I’m spoiled. 

I’m sorry I can’t succeed even with all the blessings I was given. 

I’m sorry I can’t use my talent to the fullest. 

I’m sorry I don’t want to be a doctor. 

I’m sorry I was born. 

I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’msorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorry

I felt a tug. 

He was pulling me by my hand. It didn’t feel forceful though. It was like he was guiding me. When he noticed I was looking up at him, he grinned at me and kept walking without saying anything. I didn’t understand, but after a few minutes, I managed to let out a shriveled up voice. 

“Where are we going…?” 

He gave a comforting laugh, “To the club room!”

******* 

“Xiao!! Look! Look! They’re selling food! Do you think they’ll have sweet things?” 

“I have no interest in mortal food.” 

“Says the guy who likes almond tofu.” 

“It’s the only thing I can stomach.” 

“You sound like an old man.” 

“Ulg.” 

It seems my mission of becoming friends with Xiao isn’t going as I hoped it would. My hopes and dreams were that we could get excited about the things in Liyue together, and he’d show me around places that he likes! But it almost seems as if he doesn’t really like anything… Oh, I’m doing my job to try and find an adepti too! This is an important part of research: friendship with the locals! Xiao is a local, at least he dresses as one. 

“Xiao, do you not like Liyue?” At this point, asking him directly is the best option. 

He gave me a strange look as a response, “It is something I am to protect.” 

“Are you a soldier or something?” 

“Hmph, I suppose that’s similar.” 

Xiao is kinda weird, but I like that about him. Though, it’s concerning that he doesn’t like the city he lives in. Oh, maybe if I get him into something I like, we could have a mutual hobby, and our friendship will flourish more than it already is! …More than it already is? Or, at least a bit more than whatever we have right now. 

But what should I get him into? I have a feeling he’s not the type to read romance novels. Unless he has someone he likes…?! …Nah, even then I don’t think he’ll like it. Physics? Hmmm…. I get the feeling he wouldn’t like that either. Same thing with engineering. But then, that leaves… 

I looked around the area to see if I could somehow connect it to the topic I wanna talk about. It’s a bit of a niche topic, but there has to be something…! 

And I found it. 

“Xiao! This way!!” I took his hand and started dragging him towards a store nearby. He seemed really surprised, but I kept going despite his protest. 

“Wh-What are you..?!” 

“Xiao! Look! Look!” 

I held up a brown dragon plushie from the table and brought it near his face, “It’s a dinosaur!!” 

Xiao stared at the plushie for a bit before pointing out to me, “....That is Morax.” 

“Morax?” I blinked, “It’s not a dinosaur?” 

“Morax.” Xiao snapped, “The geo archon and the one who found Liyue. Do not speak ill of his name–” 

“Whoa~! Liyue was founded by a dinosaur? I think I love Liyue even more now!” I gave the plushie a hug. I didn’t think I could add to my dinosaur plushie collection today, but here we are. 

“Are you listening–” 

“Excuse me~! How much is this plushie?” 

“Hah, whatever. Anyway, that is a figure of the great geo archon Morax who founded Liyue, I will not allow you to speak ill of his name.” 

“Does that mean you’ll get one too?” When I asked him that, he froze at me with a really funny expression. I grinned mischievously at him before picking up another plushie and paying the store owner for both plushies. I held one out to Xiao, “Here you go!” 

“I-I don’t need such a thing–” 

“But you like Morax right? I can tell from how you talk about him. Plus, I already paid for it.” 

It seems that was enough to convince him, because he took the plushie and held it in his arms without looking at me in the eyes. 

*******

You really didn’t know what Tomo was worried about. Seriously, what was the point of that conversation you had with him a few minutes ago. 

“Then what?! Then what happened!?” 

“Uhm… Well, I got Toma away from Raiden, and Ayaka told me that I could try asking the rebellion for help.” 

You silently looked at Tomo sitting next to you, eyes sparkling with excitement and breathing heavily. He reminds you of a child meeting his favorite superhero at a theme park. You glanced over at Xingqiu, who ended up reading a book next to Aether while eating his meal. He noticed you staring at him, and gave you a nervous smile. 

Though, Tomo’s reaction isn’t the thing that’s making me uncomfortable. 

“Uhm, what was the rebellion like?” 

“...” 

“Were they strong!? I’ve known about them, but I never got to meet those on the rebel side!” 

“Well, they were strong, but I realized quickly that they wouldn’t be able to go against Raiden.” 

You’ve noticed rather quickly that Aether was ignoring you. Tomo didn’t seem to notice because he was too excited to pay attention, but Paimon and Xingqiu definitely did. Every time he ignored you, they gave you a panicked yet apologetic look, trying to convey that he wasn’t usually like this. 

But whether he was always like this or not didn’t bother you. What bothered you was the fact that you tried to be friendly with him from the moment he walked into this restaurant, and yet he still had the audacity to be rude to you. And because of that, you were becoming wary of this traveler, a man with large power and stellar reputation, might turn against you when the time comes. 

You cleared your throat to get everyone’s attention before glaring at Aether, who happened to glare back at you. 

“Excuse me, but may I ask if I have offended you somehow? I couldn’t help but notice you ignoring me.” 

Tomo snapped out of his excitement to look at you quizzically, and you sighed in disbelief to realize that he really didn’t notice what was going on. 

“Paimon was wondering that too!” The little fairy exclaimed, “It’s rude to ignore people! Is something wrong?” 

Aether sighed loudly before looking at you again, “I wanted to get all the other conversation out of the way before I brought it up, but you said your name was Gravity?” 

You did introduce yourself to him when you met, but what did that have anything to do with it? 

You couldn’t even imagine, until one possibility sprouted inside your mind, and you felt like your blood was sucked out of your body. 

“Does the name Kaedehara Kazuha sound familiar?” 

….Fucking Hell.

You didn’t know what to do. Was it pride? Stupidity? Why didn’t the possibility that Aether knew Kazuha ever cross your mind? You just kept staring at Aether in horror while your brain tried to think of a way out of this situation, but alas, nothing came up. You drew a blank. 

Of course, the one who immediately responded was Tomo, “Kazuha? You know Kazuha? Both of you…?” 

You snapped your head toward Tomo to try and explain yourself, but before you could, Paimon shrieked with a voice too high pitched for your liking, “Wait a minute! Paimon remembers now! The girl who bullied Kazuha was also named Gravity!”

Xingqiu looked at all of you in confusion. It seems this conversation was more entertaining than the book he was reading. Tomo looked back and forth between you and Aether before mumbling, his voice sounded like he was shivering to you. 

“What’s going on…?” 

“Tomo! Kazuha’s been looking for you–” 

“Shut up!” You screamed at the top of your lungs, and closed your eyes shut to reject the reality in front of you. 

You imagined Tomo standing next to Kazuha, he looked so happy next to his best friend. The thought that Tomo would leave you to be by his friend’s side… It made you want to throw up.

Tomo’s mine. Whether it be his death or life or who he stands next to, I will decide all of it. 

You couldn’t help but notice how the world went quiet. You opened your eyes to realize that time had stopped around you. Above your head was a blackhole. 

I must have stopped time around me without realizing. 

It’s unlike you to act so emotionally. Or is it? You don’t even know anymore. You gave up on trying to dissect your logic years ago. 

You grabbed a UAC out of your bag and started to teleport you and Tomo out of the restaurant. 

How am I supposed to explain everything to Tomo? …Or, should I be more worried about the fact that I made an enemy with possibly the strongest person in Teyvat?

You sighed loudly as your body warped to the Wangshu Inn. 

[inkofamethyst]

August 25, 2022

Updates!  

My school no longer requires masking indoors, we’ll see how that goes.  I still intend to wear mine, but it’ll be interesting how choir rehearsals and orchestra rehearsals go.  

Toe is still sore but less so.  

I’m doing my own knotless box braids with the bricklaying pattern and I’ve never done this before but it’s actually going quite swell considering the fact that I couldn’t use a mirror for the entire time I was doing the back.  The parts back there are much bigger than I’d hoped (about double the size), but that’s fine, I’ll be coming back home in a little over a month if I need to take them out for lookin raggedy, and I should have extra hair leftover if I need to redo some of the front ones.  It’s actually a lot easier than I thought it’d be!  

Been stocking up on food for the semester and boy howdy is that stuff expensive.  

I went to the thrift store and found some gorgeous gorgeous (potential) wools and a round (potential) linen tablecloth (probably going to make a skirt out of it [edit, like three weeks later: ok but how am I supposed to make the waistband though,,, a contrast waistband??  at this point I’m not at home and don’t entirely remember the drape of the tablecloth but I could alternatively use it to make a top]) and I searched through the discounted wares of Lady Joann to find a yard of some rayon/linen using with which I might be able to copy a favorite poly shirt of mine all for basically nothing.

Almost finished my school list (I keep adding new ones and having to decide which to remove to keep me under 12 schools total) but I still haven’t emailed anyone because I’ve been ~overthinking~ hahahahahaha

Partially moved in today, killed a spider by myself.

I was sort of part of a welcome committee for some freshmen this year and it was a fun experience and also I made a new friend :)

One of my classes is based entirely on exams which I hate and it’s the class I’m looking forward to the least this semester so this new development makes it suck even more and I’ve realized that I probably should have looked at all the available profs/classes/syllabi that would have fulfilled this specific requirement instead of just choosing the class based on the name that sounded the least uninteresting but alas, here we are.

I’ve been making my way though EXU: Calamity and WOWZA I HIGHLY recommend it to anyone interested in watching a dnd podcast.  Brendan Lee Mulligan is incredible at steering the story (I think honestly one of the issues with Aabria’s EXU was that the characters weren’t wrangled into the preferred story and were provided a ton of room), the characters are all very compelling, and I am very invested in this plot.  Only the six-hour final episode to go!

Today I’m thankful that I don’t have to go through a move-in this semester, not really, since so much of my stuff just stayed in the apartment over the summer.  It’ll make for a relatively peaceful transition.

Very tired, off to bed.

[therandomavenger]

New Beginnings

               This is a big week for me. On Tuesday, the Spring Semester starts, and I will find myself a full-time student again for the first time in 13 years. This will not be my first experience as a ‘non-traditional’ student. In 2009, at the age of thirty-six, I went back to school to get a CIS degree. But that was while I was raising young children full time and trying to materially and emotionally support a spouse with a full-time teaching career. It was a lot. But I did well, even if I ran out of steam and fell about three credits shy of getting my AA.

               I think this experience will be different. I don’t have kids at home anymore, and my current partner is also a student, so we will be able to support each other. We’re even taking an ASL class together. No, this should be a completely different experience, though I know it won’t be stress-free. Also, I’m no longer singularly responsible for planning and cooking all our meals, and doing all the housework, the way I was before. My current partnership is much more equal than my last one was.

               I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little nervous, though. I’m older than I was, even if I’m just as healthy, I think. In the intervening years, I’ve done a deep dive into how my brain works, and I know how to be productive. Over the past couple of years, I’ve been getting a lot of stuff done, both housework and writing and reading and other stuff. So, I know I can do it. It’s going to be an adjustment, however, having someone else’s external schedule imposed over mine. I’m going to have to get up on time every day (which means breaking my addiction to the snooze alarm, which is already in progress). I’m taking sixteen units, which is kind of a lot. Only one of those classes is online.

               The subject matter is different from anything I’ve ever studied before. I’m going back to earn a certificate in Digital Art and Design, so I’ll be in a lot of Art classes. Starting with line drawing and beginning design, as well as intro to digital art. That’s just this semester. Halfway through, I’ll be adding an Adobe Suite online tutorial class. I’m hoping this will give me a new set of skills that I can use to support my writing career. But this is an entirely new area for me.

               I spent most of my teenage years obsessively drawing, and I loved doing it, even if the art I produced was terrible. I knew nothing about anatomy, or design principles. S put some nice pictures together but had no hope of making most of my projects match the image I had in my head. Through all those years, I never took an art class. So, getting back to this now, at 51, feels like a return to an old vision of myself that was never quite able to develop. Will I be any better with formal training? I’d almost have to be.

               Future classes will take me further into design skills, including graphic design, as well as digital photography, animation, and web design. I’m excited to learn about all of it. My goal is to be able to gain proficiency at formatting my own books and designing my own book covers, and maybe, if I get good enough, earning some extra money by doing that for other people.

               But even as I add this new challenge, I’m not abandoning my writing goals. I still plan to produce 30,000 words a month. I have been on my new writing schedule for the last two weeks, just to make sure it’s realistic. 2-4 on Wednesday and Fridays, 11-2 on Saturdays. I need to produce 7500 words in those three days, and I’ve met or exceeded that in the first two weeks. So, I know this is doable. I also need to work in time for editing and other publishing-related tasks. I want to release three books this year.

               I think it’s important, as we get older, not to settle into old patterns, but to stretch and grow and learn new things, and expand into new areas. It keeps you young, and studies show it can actually extend your life and help stave off dementia. I’m definitely doing that.

               Am I afraid I might suck at this? Absolutely! But really, if I try this, and fail, then I really haven’t lost much. I lose more by never trying, and always wondering if I could have been successful.

               So, this week is a new beginning. I’m really looking forward to it. I feel like I am at the cusp of an entire new life, and I welcome its unfolding.

[pcbug2003]

creative final project: create an alter ego

Alter ego

Name: Cruz 

Cruz personality traits:

Quiet confidence 

Plans ahead of time, morning person

Direct honest speaker, first to speak up

Confrontational instead of holding grudges

Does not say “like” as a filler word

Always sits up straight

Acts on boundaries

Wears silver 

Wears black and red

Make a cruz playlist:

It’s my life- talk talk 

Background

Cruz is a very respectable and channels their energy and drive into their field 

Cruz is the side of me that I usually suppress because I’m scared people will be intimidated by me. Sometimes I make myself small or try to be a people pleaser, but I am not fulfilled when I make myself smaller. Cruz will encourage me to be more ambitious. Right now, my goal is to find a job or another source of income. Being Cruz will stop me from being ashamed to put myself out there and instead I’ll be able to trust that I know what I’m doing and nothing else can get in my way. I already feel more confident in myself talking about this. 

10/25/22

In class it is very rigid. The atmosphere feels cold because one half of the class has a clique and the other half has another clique. I’m not sure why this is. I believe that everyone has a strong personality and unique perspective, but it is almost as if only the guys have grouped together and only branch out to each other, leaving the other half. This is very common though because there is a film hierarchy already present. Up until very recently, the only people who have been directors or reflected the demographic were men. Film is still very hard to advance in. I know we are somewhere halfway through the semester. I want to work with people I haven’t worked with yet, so as cruz I will talk to everyone sitting around me or find a reason to talk to them.

11/2/22

We are doing a presentation project where we have to break down a 4 minute scene shot by shot, lighting, camera floor plans, color palette, exposure graph, etc. of each shot. It is a highly extensive project that I think I should have started earlier but it's not due for another 4 days. I'm working with my partner Lucy and I think we have a good chemistry working with each other because our workload is very neatly divided. I feel like I have a headache because I have been working on just color palettes for hours. We have 60 scenes. Thinking like Cruz, I decided that we should pick “Knives Out” as the movie. I remember our professor showed us a video about shot types and it was briefly mentioned for a few seconds, so I know it is critically acclaimed. It has been easier to find information about it because the director, Rian Johnson, is very detail oriented. Cruz is not scared, Cruz only faces their problems, so I’ve decided to fully embrace the amount of work with full force. I want the presentation to be so good that people or at least the professor will be impressed. 

11/7/22

I was caught off guard because the presentations started for the slides today even though on Canvas the due date is also today. I went from calm and collected straight into a state of panic. Thankfully I didn’t have to present, but I never fully stopped working on the slides the whole class. I don’t know how I’m going to explain or expand on anything even though I have 95% of it done. I sat in the back of class and a guy even yelled at me for not paying attention to his presentation. As Cruz I reacted by not reacting. Many people looked awkwardly towards my way or nervously laughed, but I stayed typing. I am in no place to worry about the temper tantrums of others. I have greatness in mind. This is not a person I am a big fan of because they are rude to my professor and talk down to him. In the past they also talked down to me and said I was “lucky I met them” because they could “actually make me into something”. I was a bit smug to myself because they got a taste of their own medicine just by me being preoccupied with my own business. I will take it as a win that even though I am sitting in the back, I have started to rock the boat. Many people did a double take because I always sit in the front. I like that somehow my presence is still seen. I have also started to realize that many people in the class fake laugh and encourage him. Today I have not budged in order to show an apathetic stance. 

11/9/22

Today we did not present again, but I have failed as Cruz. Although I did make small talk with the people around me by asking if they were presenting and what movie they chose. I found that the guy next to me was shocked by my asking but soon turned out to be very kind as I was nervous. Both because I was out of my comfort zone, but I could mask that with also being nervous for my presentation. Lucy and I spent hours practicing how we’re going to present. We said over and over that we loved the presentation and that it was now special to us. I started to learn more about the film as we broke it down and we were both excited. My roommate gave us tips on our presentation and I knew I wasn’t fully there so I wrote my notes on index cards and now I won’t have to worry about leaving things unsaid and getting frustrated. I want to have no regrets and prove that we are knowledgeable. But because we went deep into detail it goes over the time limit. Lucy said we could present last after we hesitated and lost our chance to go second.The idea of rushing made me incredibly anxious. All of a sudden I became really sad and I couldn’t help it and I also felt myself bringing down Lucy's mood. At one point I picked up my bookbag on my lap, hugging it for comfort and looked down. Lucy and the guy next to me looked like they felt bad. The next people that went were people I believe are the smartest people in the class. Theirs was so long it took up the whole class period. Not surprisingly, they were also excited to break their presentation down and talk about their favorite parts. This made me forget my sadness because I remembered it is about having passion!! We didn’t present so I was grateful, but right after class I emailed my professor to make sure that we could present first. I am not going to fail to plan again.

11/14/22

Lucy and I presented and we couldn't contain our excitement. For the first time our very strict teacher praised us. My job was to include a waveform and RGB color value. I noticed in the presentations that everyone had the most trouble with that so I had looked up a tutorial on how to pull it up on Davinci Resolve. I found that I could also include a Vectorscope and more advanced color space all at once. He said he was very happy to see that we mentioned it and stopped to show the class what we had done. I felt a rush of happiness and Lucy and I looked at each other excitedly. Update: we got an 100!! It feels nice to not just have that grade for myself but also for my partner. As Cruz I think we set out to impress people and we reset the standard. 

11/16/22

In film class we received a review sheet for the final. I feel very intimidated because I feel like there is a lot of terminology and things that I have not fully grasped. Most of the time in class I will just sit there and pretend I understand the professor’s answer to my question even if I don’t. Today in class I brought flashcards with me. I had tried beforehand to re-read a few chapters of our textbook and find out which things might be on the test that I didn’t know. I only made a few cards. I was surprised to see that there are eighty terms on the review sheet. I was the only one with flashcards. It was hard to keep up back and forth because he was going really fast. I tried to ask a smart person in the class for help, but he seemed unsure of himself. As I sat next to him, I was surprised by his knowledge because he had the answer to almost everything, while I had the question for almost everything. I tried to ask my friends to form a study group, but to no avail.

11/24/22 

It is Thanksgiving break and I have gone from making a quizlet to using real flashcards again. I remember when I was younger I memorized the whole periodic table and recited it in the shower, any chance I had. Practice definitely does make perfect. I am slacking though, I have been watching a new show and putting off studying. It is a bit hectic back home as well. I think Cruz came out naturally on Thanksgiving. My mom had been making side comments about how much food I put on my plate, saying that my dress would rip open. I stood up to her and said “Don’t talk to me like that!” she said it was just a joke and I said “You’re being mean, that’s not a joke when you keep bullying me”. I think behind every joke is a little truth. She had been complaining about her size and also comparing herself to how skinny I was. The hardest thing for me to do is to set boundaries, but it has to be done or I have only myself to blame for the way people treat me. Another woman who wasn’t my mother seemed to be bothered that I stood up for myself, but it is not my job to be uncomfortable to let others happily joke about me regardless of who it is. I do not think I am funny and anyone who has a problem with me respecting myself benefits from me being quiet and submissive so they don't have to focus on themselves. Again in the car, my mom and sister were talking down to my brother about something that wasn't correct. Usually I would hold my tongue, but I pointed out where they were wrong even if I was on their side. They tried to tell me I was wrong, but instead of second-guessing myself, I stated that I was very clear in what I meant to say and meant every word. My mom then surprisingly admitted that she felt bad for misunderstanding him. 

11/26/22

Lately I have felt paranoid. People look at me in a way I don’t understand or maybe I am not used to. I have been wearing a very cool red and black hoodie which I think represents the part of me that is Cruz. I usually wear brighter and more gentle colors, but my curiosity has led me to become more bold. I have started to quickly see that those I have sought to be more like in my class are talented, but maybe lacking discipline. Being Cruz has shown me that people are not actually more sure of their path anymore than I am. I always followed other people because I thought that’s what I should do, so much so that I never realized I did it. As Cruz, I have become more separated from my classmates. I actually have become frustrated that some are not studying for the final exam. I have spent hours on my flashcards, rewritten everything on a blank paper from memory, then watched videos, and corrected information I had wrong. Everyone looks at me a bit dismissively. I am the only one who continues to take my flashcards out and It is weird to see that it bothers them. I would not expect that in college, especially if I mind my business. A girl was staring at me and I felt her from the corner of my eye. I looked straight at her and she never once looked over again. I feel as though I am too ambitious or becoming a try-hard, and then I remember I am in college because I want to learn. If I want something for myself it doesn’t make sense to follow or wait for the co-sign from my peers. I am staying humble to not make “enemies”. If I think I know it all, I know nothing. 

11/28/22

Today I found myself very focused on what the professor was saying. We had a day to ask questions before the test and I asked a lot. Soon I feel people staring at me again. Each time it took me out of my state of concentration. I have done everything to fix my posture. The other day I ordered a seat cushion that supports my back and now I can spend a longer time studying. I feel a lot like the character Elle Woods from Legally blonde. Although I haven't smiled as much. I am very serious about my grade though. I know there are people out there who don’t want me to be able to learn. It’s a privilege to be in college. Maybe to others lately I look like a serious dark character, but I have entered into a place where I actually like to study. I want to get the highest grade out of everyone, even a 100 maybe on the final exam. I do not want to shy away. People keep questioning why I have so many flashcards. I listen to the playlist I made for Cruz and it helps me. I know what I’m capable of and that people won’t trust the process until they see for themselves. Having a chip on my shoulder has kept me consistent. My mom believes I should drop out of college, but I want to make use of my resources while I'm here. 

11/30/22

I feel very upset because I got a few questions wrong on the final now that I realized. I don’t really want to even talk about it because I put so much work just to make careless mistakes despite how much I practiced. The bonus question I also got wrong. It was worth 10 points too. 

12/5/22

My professor stated that someone did in fact receive a perfect 100 on the final. Everyone was asking him if the person was in the room, but it was confidential. I GOT THE 100 ON THE FINAL EXAM. I was expecting a 90, but I got all the points on the bonus question. I was conflicted because everything I worked for was suddenly feeling like I put a target on my back. Everyone immediately looked towards me with eyes of jealousy, so I tried not to smile to hide that I was happy. My professor said he was very proud of this person and then I became happy again. I could see that he noticed all my efforts and he was very excited and waiting to see my reaction. It  feels very nice to have the last laugh after people dragged me for having 80 flashcards. I felt so happy that I started to weep (when all eyes were off me). It was nice to have people in the class admit that they did see how I worked hard even when they were upset by their grade. Some even asked me to compare my answers as an example. I am not intelligent but I try. I would say I am one step closer to building a reputation as a knowledgeable person in my field. I said I couldn’t believe my life and then it was like Cruz took over to correct me mid sentence and I said, actually I CAN believe it. Hard work will never betray you!! 

12/11/22

After the test I had to remember to keep my grades up in my other classes rather than let this go to my head. I have always wanted to work at the FMA equipment office, so I put in a submission. I will hear an answer back tomorrow. 

I created Cruz as an alter ego to become more assertive in my field. Film is very competitive with a lot of diverse personalities. I have always struggled because I am shy and my biggest problem is I do not ask for help. It has done more harm to me than good. My parents have always told me to speak up. It is a very aggressive field. I think I always have had “Cruz” in me, it was just covered. Although it has significantly helped, at some point I realized it was taking over unconsciously, not because I was pretending but because the minute I decided to believe in this version of me, I eventually could prove it to myself.

[greysskinny]

Life planner studio

#LIFE PLANNER STUDIO HOW TO#

#LIFE PLANNER STUDIO UPDATE#

A month or two ago, there was an alert on the app that said we should export our data and delete our accounts because MyStudyLife was shutting down, so I sadly did and found an alternative. I would normally give this app 5 stars in a heartbeat, I’ve been using it for all four years of college and it’s been an absolute lifesaver.

#LIFE PLANNER STUDIO UPDATE#

Maybe I’ll be back with an update when the semester is over. I feel so accomplished and I really feel like it’s in part thanks to this program. Honest opinion, I’ve never been this excited about anything to do with school, but now it’s almost kinda fun to schedule all my classes, tasks and exams and to mark them as completed when I’m done.

#LIFE PLANNER STUDIO HOW TO#

It took me a few days to figure out how to fully use the website/app, but it’s much easier to navigate than some other websites I’ve used. With the different tabs I can see just my “tasks” or assignments coming up, or I can look at my calendar tab and see all my classes, exams, holidays and assignments for the month. I can input as much information as I need about an assignment as well without running out of room, which was another problem I had with physical planners. So far I’ve only been using this app for a couple weeks but it’s completely changed the way I go about schoolwork! Because it’s online it’s always available and easily accessible, and I love being able to get reminders when I have a due date coming up. I’ve tried for years to use a physical planner but it’s never worked out and I’d always abandon them after a day or two. I’ve always had issues with time management and procrastination, not to mention just forgetting about assignments and tests. Get notified - reminders for unfinished tasks, upcoming exams and classes before they even start. Supporting day and week rotation timetables, advanced academic year/term support and integration into tasks you’ll wonder how you ever lived without it. Manage your classes - your paper planner, turbocharged. Store exams - keep those all important exams alongside your classes and revision tasks. Store your tasks with ease in the cloud, accessible anywhere. Track your tasks - homework, assignments, reminders and revision. You can add a task on the move from your phone or tablet and it will be instantly available on the web app. My Study Life seamlessly syncs your data between devices, allowing you to use the app even when offline. Add your classes and view them in a beautiful, instantly identifiable, familiar week view. Far from your standard calendar, My Study Life is optimized to work for your school life right from the start with support for week and day rotation schedules. Unlike a paper planner or school diary, My Study Life integrates all areas of your academic life - see homework due and overdue for classes, classes which conflict with your exams and even add revision tasks for a specific exam - all in a free, easy to use application. My Study Life allows you to store your classes, homework and exams in the cloud making it available on any device, wherever you are. My Study Life is a cross-platform planner for students, teachers and lecturers designed to make your study life easier to manage.

[xyztrio721]

I apologize for the sudden vent post (?), but I just wanted to get something off of my chest.

I don’t want to be in college right now. My heart is not in my human biology class at all, and I think that’s having a negative impact on my academics. I’m constantly overwhelmed by the amount of information I have to learn from the lectures, I’m having difficulty finishing the labs I get each class, I get very stressed out about whether or not I can get my homework done on time, I’m having difficulty concentrating on reading the textbook and studying, I’m pretty sure I did poorly on my first test for the class, I have little to no confidence on how well I’ll do on the rests of the tests and the three lab practicals I have to do over the course of the class, and I keep forgetting that I have to make a PowerPoint presentation on a disease I’m interesting in researching. Overall, I am not doing so hot in this class. I want to drop out and take a break from college for maybe a year or so because I think these might be signs of burnout/a mental health disorder, but I’m afraid I might not be able do that.

There are a few reasons for this, one of the big ones being that I don’t know if my college will allow me to take a break for a year. I don’t know if I’ll be punished in terms of not receiving financial aid, being kicked out of the honor society I’m a part of (I’m a part of Phi Theta Kappa), falling behind on my degree (I have somewhere between 6-8 classes left until I graduate), or not being reaccepted once I come back. I don’t know if I have a good enough reason to take a break (I don’t think mental health issues are a good enough reason to leave college for a year, at least in the eyes of my college). I don’t know what I want to do during the break, though I do want to find a job, learn to drive (I failed my first driving test and will likely have to retake the permit knowledge test because my permit is about to expire in two months), and learn how to function like a normal person for once in my life (I’m terrified of people in general and don’t know how to converse with anyone, including my friends and parents). I just want to become an adult, which I should have done two years ago, but couldn’t because I’ve been so focused on school for two (almost three) years now and have not yet found a way to balance my life outside of school with my academic life.

Another big reason as to why I may not be able to take a break from college is my parents. My parents don’t seem to understand why school stresses me out so much, even if I only have one class this semester. I tried to talk to my dad about this, and he was pretty much annoyed with me for wanting to drop human biology before I even started the class, saying something along the lines of “It’s just one class. You can do this”. As you can imagine, this attitude does not help me in the slightest. If anything, it makes me feel worse, as I’ve been viewing myself as a coward who can’t even handle taking a single class during a single semester in college (which isn’t new, since I’ve felt like a coward for not being able to handle school from an emotional standpoint for years now) as of late. My mom likely feels the same way, which makes this whole situation even more infuriating.

Combined with the realization that my parents are not as supportive of me as I thought they were, the realization that I may have been a victim of emotional abuse from my mother, and the ongoing investigation of whether or not I have ADD/ADHD or ASD (or both), and I think you can understand why I want to take a break from college.

But it’s never going to happen, isn’t it? Not when my parents seem to be pressuring me (both intentionally and unintentionally) to finish college as soon as possible, and not when I don’t know if my college will even consider letting me take a year-long break.

I feel so trapped… I wish I knew where I could find some help me get through this and/or help me figure out how to take a break from college, but I have no idea where to look…

[no-droids]

Hey yall omg another update!

I’m at 12k for this chapter so far SO WE’RE GETTING THERE but it’s so sad because I’ve got two midterms this week, a quiz, and an essay due 😭 but I’m getting close to finishing the first draft of the next chapter and just needing to edit and post, so YAY, just two more scenes to write!! I want to work on it so bad but I also don’t want to fail my classes and I’m sorry I’m not great at excelling at both at the same time, classes get harder every semester and I’m genuinely trying my best. Thank you for everyone who has been supportive and patient with me, I know it’s been a little over a month since the last chapter but it’s almost there so don’t worry! Should just be another few thousand words so I imagine a drop date will be announced within the next week or two.

I’ve also decided I’m going to turn off anonymous asks for awhile. I don’t ever answer any of the hate messages I get because I don’t want to start drama or disrespect the space I’ve created for us to have fun and goof and be happy together, I want the space to continue to have an integrity that’s not muddied by people in my inbox who just want to spread negativity, shitty assumptions, and unnecessary rudeness. I didn’t originally want to turn off anon because I know that people tend to get discouraged from sending messages altogether if anon is off and I’m so sorry if this prevents you from saying hi, but unfortunately every time I log on to draft an update for yall, I read some messages that sometimes make me want to announce this as the last chapter of the story and just have it be done and over with. I’m not going to because it’s not fair to me as the author to not let my ideas play out the way I’ve been planning for an entire year, it’s not fair to the readers who have been incredibly supportive about their response to the story, and it’s not fair to the story itself to let it finish early and not be told the way it was meant to be. So I’ve decided to switch off anon for a little while and I hope that’s okay, it’s just a way for me to be able to continue writing and posting in my own space until rough day concludes the way it’s meant to without my mental health suffering. This story is a comfort to a lot of people, including myself, and I don’t want to do a disservice to it or its readers by not finishing or finishing early just because of hate.

ANYWAYS NO MORE NEGATIVITY NO MORE TALK ABOUT SAD THINGS YALL I’ll keep chugging along on this next chapter and we can have some nice pics of Pedro in comfy white teeshirts in the meantime god bless

I love y’all dearly, I hope everything is going well for you 💕

Also ps because I feel bad for the majority of this post talking about heavy things, here’s another sneak peek if you want it! I know it won’t make up for the wait but I want you to know that I am continuing to work diligently on it and it will be out soon 👀