#but I'm pretty sure my ask box is open if you wanna Discuss

[bellysoupset]

eeeee I'm so excited for more Luke-centric bromance whump!! I neeed it!

I have a general scenario that has been rattling around in my head:

Luke eating too much with the guys (maybe he's a little tipsy and his eyes are bigger than his belly, or maybe he and Bell got in an argument and he's trying to bury his hurt feelings with so much pasta) and getting a belly rub when it becomes obvious how uncomfortably stuffed he is. I love the frenemies vibe between him and Jonah, but I feel like it would have to be a true emergency for Jonah to rub Luke's tummy, ya know lol

Anyway, I can't wait to see what you do with everyone next!!!

You're right about Jonah, so I went with second best, Luke/Vin self indulgent bromance, with a splash of angst 💛

---------

"How come you have all these clothes and I only ever see you wearing the same five shirts?" Lucas asked as Vince dumped yet another box of his stuff in his arms.

Vin shrugged, "I'm a consistent man," he said cheekily, before turning around and assessing his dorm, making sure nothing was being left behind. He wasn't quite moving in with Wendy, they hadn't exactly discussed it long term, but she had invited him to stay over for the remainder of the year, so he didn't have to worry about that for the holidays.

If Vin was honest, he knew Wendy wanted him to move in, she had made it pretty damn clear, he just... It was complicated.

Luke was in the middle of the hallway of the dorm building, holding the box still and pouting. Whatever he was pouting over, Vince didn't know, but he knew Luke could never quite bitch in silence and it'd come up soon enough.

"All done?" he asked and Vince nodded, tucking a box under his arm and shutting the dorm door behind him. It was snowing like crazy outside and even in the forty minutes it had taken them to strip his dorm room naked, Lucas' car had already gotten covered in snow.

They dumped the remaining boxes in the backseat and Vince shuddered as he sat on the passenger side, slamming the door closed and starting the car, so the heat would start back up. He pressed his hands to the air vents, even with the wool gloves they were freezing, and shivered again as Luke opened the driver's door to get in.

"Ugh, I hate the cold," Vince whined and Lucas let out a noise in agreement. Luke always was clean shaven and today his cheeks were an angry red due to the cold, which paired with his pout made him look like a teenager.

They didn't chat much during the drive to Wen's building and Vince immediately jumped out of the car as his friend parked behind his bike, so they could get the boxes. He bounced on his feet, trying to warm up.

"Do you wanna stick around for lunch?"

"What about Wendy?"

"What about Wendy?" Vince frowned, grabbing two boxes with one hand, while with the other he threw a duffle bag around his shoulder, "she's not even in, she went out with Barbie and Meghan to celebrate the end of the semester."

"Ah..." Lucas piled up the remaining boxes in his arms and successfully shielded his face from view, "well, if I'm not going to impose..."

"Since when do you care about that?" Vince asked, following him to the elevators, "and since when is it imposing? It's Wendy, man."

Instead of answering him, Luke only shrugged, causing Vin to glare at his back. He joined him inside the elevator and pressed the button, shivering again.

"I'm thinking soup," he said and was even more frustrated when there was no quip back from his best friend. Vince bumped his shoulder with Luke's, "hello? Anyone home?"

"I'm listening to you," the other man groaned.

"So soup alright? No complaints?"

"Do whatever you want, Vin."

Vince's heart squeezed a little bit, he hated to see Lucas upset. Or rather, just how sad he sounded.

"What's wrong, Luke? Did you and Bell have a fight?"

"Uhm? No," Lucas shook his head, leaning forward so he could rest his chin on top of one of the boxes, "no, Bell and I are fine."

"Then what-" the elevator came to a stop and interrupted him, but Vince didn't drop the conversation, walking backwards towards Wen's red door and struggling to unlock it, "what's wrong? You're acting weird."

"Nothing's wrong," Lucas scoffed, "where do I put this?"

"You can just leave it in living room, I'll sort this with Wen later," Vince gestured for him, while walking ahead to the bedroom so he could dump his bag on top of the bed and the two boxes he had been carrying, "I don't buy nothing is wrong."

"Can you not?" Lucas grumbled, hugging himself and pulling on his thick sweater. Vince squeezed his shoulder, circling him as he walked to the kitchen.

"Cheer up, Luke, we're no longer in college. Finals are all done. Life is great," Vince said brightly, opening the fridge so he could grab the ingredients to make soup and mentally starting to list down what he had to get in the next grocery trip.

"Are you excited about moving in with Wendy?" Lucas leaned against the stove and Vince scoffed, grabbing his elbow and pulling him closer, before shoving a peeler in his hands and a sack of potatoes.

"Help around, would you?" he asked, amusing himself on how much he sounded like his mother. He started to mince the garlic, "I mean, I'm not moving in with her, not like, really and I've been pretty much here all of the last month but-"

"I got it," Luke interrupted him, sounding twice as bothered as before, angrily peeling the potatoes. Vince frowned, confused, but opted for not saying anything.

They prepared the food in silence, safe for Vince shoving Lucas out of the way and telling him to do things, then walked back to the living room, Vin turning up the television to fill in for the weird awkward silence.

"Ma texted me yesterday," Vince said, filling up both their plates and walking back to the living room, with Lucas hot in his heels, "she said you, Bell, Jon and Leo have to come spend Christmas with us. Wendy already said she's coming," he rolled his eyes fondly, starting to eat, "she didn't ask, by the way, she bossed you to show up."

Lucas opened a small smile, while wolfing down his plate, "your mom is a sweetheart," he tore into the bread, taking a bite of it without any sauce and slurping on the soup immediately after, "but we can't."

"You and Bella already have plans?"

Luke cringed, shrugging, "not quite. My father demanded we spend Christmas with him and I can't exactly tell him to fuck off this time around. Bella is only alive because he got the damn specialist, I can't- I can't say no."

"No, I get it. It's a great excuse, even my mom won't be able to be mad at it," Vince snorted, "does Bell know?"

"She does and she's not happy about it, believe me," Lucas grumbled, finishing up his plate and getting up to get more, while Vince raised his eyebrows.

"Damn, you're starving."

"Yeah," Lucas said loudly from the kitchen, before walking back to the table, "and I think Leo and Jon are going to spend with us too."

Vince paused, lowering his own spoon. Lucas and Bell he understood, but Jonah and Leo...?

"With... Your dad...?" he said slowly and Luke shook his head.

"No, Jon's dad. Who lives down the block from my father," he rolled his eyes, "I don't even know, don't ask me. Jonah said Jackie texted about Christmas too, so that's a whole other can of worms."

"I always forget you two grew up together," Vince said, trying to keep the jealousy from his voice. It wasn't that he didn't like that Lucas had other friends or that he didn't love Jonah, he just didn't like being reminded that Jon and Luke had twenty years of shared history he'd never know enough of.

"I wish I could forget," Luke scoffed, pausing halfway through his second plate to muffle a burp against his hand, "have you met Jackie?"

Vince opened a cheeky smile, "besides that playboy mag I used to ha-AW-OW!" he giggled, as Lucas kicked him from under the table, "that hurts!"

"Don't be fucking gross about her," Luke wrinkled his nose, in disgust, "I've known the woman since I was in diapers, shut up."

"I thought you hated her," Vince groaned, rubbing his ankle and Lucas shrugged.

"I don't hate her, I just don't like her. She never gave a flying fuck about Jon and then she got married again and suddenly is all my-darling-boy this, my-sweetheart that. Mother of the fucking year."

Vince raised his eyebrows at the bitter words, then noticed Luke's plate was nearly empty again, "Jesus, one would think you're being starved at home, Luke. Pace yourself, there's plenty."

"Shut up, it's good," Lucas pouted, digging back in, "you're gonna meet her Friday, at the graduation. You'll know what I mean."

"What about Jon's dad?"

"What about Jasper?" he used a piece of bread to clear the plate, wiping the porcelain of the rest of the soup.

"Does he suck too?" Vince was very entertained, even if Jonah would have his head if he knew they were gossiping about him.

"I mean, he's friends with my dad, so that goes without saying," Lucas chuckled dryly, "but at least he doesn't... He doesn't pretend like Jackie does."

Vince had his doubts Jackie was actually pretending and mostly he was taken back by Luke's unsympathetic take on the woman. If anything he expected the opposite, for Luke to hate Jon's dad, not his mother.

"Wasn't Jackie friends with your mom?" he asked softly and if he expected any response, he didn't get one, aside from Luke muffling another burp against his hand and glaring at his now empty plate.

Vin finished up his own soup, basking in the warmth that was spreading all over him. He sat back in the chair, "are you gonna spill about what have you in such a shitty mood, Luke?"

Lucas shrugged, his face all blushed, "I'm not-"

"I know you," Vince glared at him, kicking him lightly from under the table, "c'mooon... Is it because I'm moving in with Wen? Because it kinda looks like it is and-"

"No," Luke shook his head, before grimacing, planting a hand on his stomach and rubbing it over the thick sweater, "maybe. I don't know."

"You don't know," Vince squinted at him, "what does that mean?"

"I- I'm gonna get more food," Luke decided, instead of answer, forcing himself up, "do you want more?"

"You really should-"

His friend didn't wait for the chastising, instead he picked up Vince's empty plate, then moved back into the kitchen. Faintly Vince could hear him moving around, punctuated by some soft, dainty burps.

He walked back, with a permanent grimace on now and Vince lazily stirred the soup, waiting for Lucas to sit back down so he could continue the conversation. He wasn't gonna let the other man dodge his way out of this one.

"So? You're angry because I'm moving in with Wen?" he asked, watching Lucas force himself to continue eating, unimpressed by him.

"I'm not angry that you're moving in with Wendy. I love Wendy, she's great," Lucas said, glaring at his plate instead of meeting Vince's eyes. The other man let out a chuckle.

"Okay, try that one again, but mean it," he teased, "Lucas?"

"I'm not-" Luke forced himself to look up, "I'm not angry, okay? I like Wendy, I really do, I like- I think you're super happy with her. I think this is great."

"But...?" Vince frowned, confused. He sounded genuine, "what is it? I'm not gonna be mad, I swear..."

Lucas let out a groan, clutching at his stomach and he annoyedly pushed his plate away, so he could rest his forehead to the table and burp at his lap, "hold on."

"You didn't eat that much," Vince squinted, suspicious this was all acting so Luke could get out of the conversation. His friend groaned, rocking slightly on the chair.

"Ate too... UURghp- Too fast," he moaned, clutching at his middle and pushing back from the table, getting up and bracing against the chair. Vince frowned, despite his doubts, Lucas' face had turned a sickly shade of white.

"Are you gonna hurl....?"

"No-" Luke pressed a hand to his mouth, muffling a string of wet belches, "maybe."

"Goddammit, Luke-"

"I just need a moment," he panted quietly, rubbing at his stomach, "really, it's fine, just-"

"C'mere," Vince abandoned his half empty second plate, grabbing his best friend's arm and tugging him to the couch in the living room area, "sit down."

Lucas grimaced as he plopped down in the couch, cupping one hand over his mouth and letting out a sickly belch that had Vince jumping up to scramble and find a recipient. Luckily, nothing came up.

"I'm not gonna puke," he groaned, as Vince sped to the laundry room and returned with a cute little bucket, decorated with tulips.

"Just like you're not mad?" Vince teased, handing him the bucket, "c'mere, let me rub your stomach. You fucking baby."

Luke didn't fight him at all, promptly falling on his side, so his head could rest on Vince's thigh, "I'm not angry, okay? Or jealous."

"Uhm," Vince rolled his eyes, running fingers through his friend's hair and then planting a hand on his stomach. He cringed, Luke's belly that had been flat not even one hour before, was now tout and warm to the touch, churning up a storm, "so what's the matter?"

Lucas muffled a sickly little burp against his leg, groaning, "I just... Are you- You're not moving in with Wendy, so what are you doing?"

Taken back by the out of the blue questioning, Vince frowned, pausing the belly rub, "uhm... I'm gonna spend the holidays with Wen and start hunting for a place in February, that's the plan... Why? Why are you upset over this, I don't-"

"Here?" Lucas asked, forcing himself up on the couch so he could look at Vince. There were visible pained lines in his face and he hugged his midsection, throat bobbing dangerously, "are you gonna hunt for a place here?"

"I..." Vince paused, feeling guilt wash all over him. All evening he had been thinking Lucas was being jealous and silly, but in reality he just knew Vince better than anyone, "I'm not sure, Luke..."

"Figured," Lucas scoffed, then reached for the bucket, moving on the couch so he was not pressed next to Vin and leaning over it, gagging fruitlessly. He hugged his stomach, panting and then flinched when Vin tried planting a hand on his back, "don't."

"Don't be like that, Luke," Vince whined, moving closer regardless, rubbing his back, "look, I'm not - There's nothing set, okay? I'm just considering it..."

"And you weren't gonna say anything," Lucas scoffed, his voice echoing inside the bucket, before he let out a moan and spat the saliva pooling in his mouth. His tummy let out a loud, upset growl and he belched, clutching his belly, "does Wendy know?"

Vince shook his head, guilt churning his own stomach, "there's nothing to tell her..."

"Coward," Luke groaned, squeezing the bucket, "she's your fucking girlfriend, if you plan on leaving town, you should at least fucking tell her."

Vince winced at the snappish response and continued to rub his friend's back, ignoring Luke trying to push his hand away, "it's not like that, dude. Not at all, I'm gonna talk with Wendy, I -"

Lucas interrupted him, letting out a sudden heave and then a gush of soup splattered inside of the bucket. He let out a whimper, curling up on himself, "fuck..."

"Feel better though?" Vince asked in a small, pathetic voice, his heart squeezing. He hated the idea that he had, somehow, caused Lucas to feel this awful, even if rationally he was aware it was simply because his best friend decided to chug soup instead of eating normally.

"No," Luke scoffed, but planted the bucket down and hugged himself, scooting further away from Vince, until his back met the other couch arm. He curled up, "I can't believe you weren't gonna say anything."

"I was!" Vince cried out, lurching so he could sit closer again. The space between them, of mere ten inches, felt like too much, "I am gonna talk with Wendy and I was gonna talk with you, there's just nothing to tell for now, I'm still just... Just thinking about-"

"About leaving," Lucas groaned, bringing his knees to his chest, "and I knew it the minute you said you didn't want to move in with Wen."

"I never said that," Vince rolled his eyes, "I said I'm already half moved in, don't-"

"I don't want you to leave," Luke groaned, "I know it's not gonna be now, but I don't... You're my best friend, please don't go."

"I'm not going anywhere," Vince stressed, frustrated and planting a hand on Luke's arm, tugging him closer, "c'mere, lie down-"

"No, stop-"

"Come here," Vince scoffed, grabbing him tightly and forcing Lucas to lie against his side, "I'm not going anywhere for now, okay? I'm just considering other options, that's all."

"Don't though," Luke whined, pressing his head to Vince's shoulder, "please."

Vince's heart broke in a bunch of little pieces and he forced his eyes on a spot on the wall across from them, forcing out a breath, "let me rub your stomach, that can't be feeling good."

Wordlessly he felt Luke slide down, so he could resume to the position where his head was resting on Vince's lap and his best friend's hand resting on his stomach. He sniffled and Vin pretended not to hear and that his eyes weren't burning either.

"Don't tell Wendy? Not yet?"

"I'm not gonna tell anyone," Lucas sighed, "but you're breaking my heart."

[ooops-i-arted]

I went to Gina Carano's panel at Fanboy Expo today too. I was hoping for a scrap of Cara content and honestly curious what she was like irl. I did my best to go in with an open mind. (If you've been following me you'll know I am a former fan - loved her as soon as I saw Cara Dune, dove into her other stuff and loved her as a performer and found her MMA career awesome, will not stand for her bigotry and spreading misinformation.) I took notes so everything in quotes is directly what she said, brackets to add context or when I missed exact words.

Panel started with a review of her fighting career, nothing that hasn't been covered before. She was asked "Where would you be [career wise] if not for fighting and acting?" and she said "I don't know, I wouldn't be here." She says she actually dreamed of being in romance movies and wearing pretty dresses, and now she's in action movies, which was actually pretty cute. She always liked sports. The panel person asked "How did you know you were good at fighting?" and she just said "I always knew."

She then talked about being cast in Haywire, Steven Soderergh and his wife saw her fight Cyborg and thought about making a movie around her. She said "They didn't give me an acting coach. They just put me in with all these people. [....] Michael Fassbender gave me a whiskey and sat down and went over the lines with me." (Almost all of her lines in that movie were dubbed over. Her fight scenes in it are amazing.)

About Fast and Furious 6 she said "Now I have to watch all of them? .....I didn't." Which was genuinely funny.

For Deadpool, "Let me tell you about the superhero landing. I'm going to ruin it all." She filmed it by just jumping off an apple box apparently lmao. "The first time I jumped and landed I just heard this wailing of laughter. [The director] said "That was the most anticlimatic thing I've ever seen." She also said Ryan Reynolds would riff and sometimes she'd forget she was in the scene/on camera and break character by laughing.

Mentions of her beef with Lucasfilm/Disney were peppered throughout the whole panel. She said "I have no intention of not doing what my heart desires." Which... okay, if you're a toddler. I wanna punt the principal I had last year into the sun but I remained professional and am now getting a new job. A loooooooooot of the way she said things/her general vibe reminded me of kiddos I got when I worked at an expensive summer camp whose population was mainly rich white kids - kids who had never before been denied anything in their life, and being told no, no matter how kindly, was treated as devastating. (And then they figured it out in a few days when tantruming at me didn't work. Gina, apparently, has not figured that out yet.) (Also for context, if you didn't know, she is a trust fund baby and her family is in Vegas casinos. I highly doubt she is hurting for money.)

Also after seeing Giancarlo Esposito's panel, and how well-spoken he is and how thoughtfully he chose his words even while discussing things like voting and the current state of the world, it just really stood out how she doesn't know how to conduct herself professionally. She's said herself she isn't good at public speaking, which fair, she was a bit soft spoken and shy but I don't just mean that. She doesn't have a "customer service" face like us normal people have to put on at work. She doesn't seem to think she has to. You can be genuine while still being polite - I do it all the time at work, I did it at this panel while asking my question to her, and I'm sure you all know part of life is putting on different "attitudes" for different situations.

She is starting her own production company. She wants to write, star, produce, and direct apparently (unclear if all at once or on different projects, I sure envy her blind confidence tho). She wants to do this because "She's seen where it's gone wrong." (See what I mean about beef peppered throughout?) When asked what her ultimate passion project would be, she said "It's not so much if it's a drama, comedy, or action, it has to have heart and it has to have meaning. It has to have a good story." She mentioned she was working on a movie and series and had some ideas and stories, but no specifics.

She wouldn't stop mentioning God or Jesus either (so I'd bet money she's That Kind of Christian*) and someone asked her "How do you practice choosing roles with discernment [regarding your faith]?" Her answer: "Oh I never think about it." She says she's not a prude but wouldn't do certain things, but she decided this in 2020. She did not elaborate, but apparently "God will let her know when she crosses the line." So I guess we aren't getting any more topless Insta pics lol.

(*I'm trying not to be an ass but as a queer woman, I know That Kind Of Christian when I see it, and she clocked like that hard. Ymmv.)

Finally a Mandalorian question, her favorite and the hardest scenes to film on The Mandalorian. She said the season 2 final scene was the hardest, because it was emotional "and there was more going on the scenes than people realize." The other was when Grogu was choking her. She was holding her breath too hard and passed out. (I honestly thought she was choking when she said that when the episode originally aired.) Brendan Wayne was in the scene with her and was worried, and then she did it again.

I was next, and I first (truthfully) told her that I appreciated seeing someone like her onscreen, because I hadn't looked like Rey/Padme/Leia since I was 16. I then asked "Where do you see Cara's character going in the future, and what detail about her backstory didn't make it onscreen?" She said she thinks Cara is still floating around with special forces, and "Disney could do more with that if they got their head out of their ass." Everyone clapped, I didn't, I kept my hands clasped and said thank you. She did not answer my other question. So unfortunately, no character tidbits about Cara.

Next person asked if Mark Wahlberg and Mel Gibson [and some other "canceled" actor, I can't remember] know about her and if they'll work with her in the future. She said maybe, she's open to it. "I'm not into chasing people to work." I had to bite my tongue because GIRL YOU ARE CHASING DISNEY DOWN TO REHIRE YOU.

She was asked about the lawsuit and if she'd take the role of Cara back if it was offered. She said "I loved playing Cara Dune" and Jon Favreau "really got into her brain" and was happy to see her at Carl Weathers' funeral, but ended with a wishy washy we'll see/God will work in his own way. She did say she still keeps in touch with Bill Burr and "He's my favorite. He's so funny. Gina, we gotta go to a UFC fight some day."

She was asked "Do you have a fight you look back on with fondness?" She said there's only one she doesn't look back on fondly (presumably Cyborg) and rambled a bit about her fights. The person asked the same question again, and she again answered "There's only one I don't look back on fondly."

She did say she's focusing again on getting healthier and training again. She says she was "the only girl they couldn't chase away" back in the day and "I'll be in my 80s shadowboxing in the basement saying I can still fight" which was genuinely cute. She also talked about how she had to figure out eating and weight control on her own, nowadays trainers have nutrition services as sponsors. She said it was tough to drop the weight, it was like losing part of her body. (She didn't always make exact weight in her MMA fights and back then, they didn't have a class heavier than 135 lb iirc.) Muay Thai was her favorite. She recommends jujitsu for women looking to protect themselves, since you end up on the floor, but "I just love to punch. They tell me I punch like a trucker."

She ended with another jab at Disney (she did have people kissing her ass the whole time about Freeze Peach and encouraging this) and "When is someone gonna stop them from treating people the way they've been treating people." Also, God is using Elon Musk, which is one hell of a sentence. And that was the panel. (Terror on the Prairie, her big comeback, was not mentioned once.)

She was very nice and sweet and all, but what really stood out to me was a complete lack of creativity. Her answers were very canned, there was very little I hadn't heard in another interview. She just sounded kinda dim, to be blunt. She didn't elaborate on her answers (she couldn't imagine another career she'd like, for my question she just repeated what Disney had already established, she had no specifics for a passion project/idea, she couldn't recall a specific fond moment from a fight or anything, so on). A lot of Disney bad, God good, I should be able to say what I want, rinse and repeat. She's said for a long while she's passionate about art and telling stories. I am too, so I relate - but I've put in time and practice to be able to make what I do. My impression is she wants the praise and adulation, but without the hard parts that go with it. (Honestly I also think CTE may be a factor. She does NOT sound like she did in interviews years ago. Like after she found out Cyborg (the only fight she lost) was on steroids her response was very graceful and kind.)

This is long and I know you're probably thinking why do you care, but I truly admired her. She was a MMA champ in a time when women weren't seen as being able to do the sport. She was positive about her body and I started getting serious about the gym and being healthier because of her onscreen on Cara Dune. She literally made me realize I'm more than a little gay because she's so gorgeous. Ironically, her behavior nowadays inspires me to be brave and speak up for what I believe in despite being naturally shy. I would still be her biggest fan if she hadn't mocked the queer community and spread misinformation and tantrumed when she was called out on it. I even have some empathy - 18 year old me would have been 100% behind her and supported her. But I listened to other perspectives and learned and grew. She clearly has no desire to change herself, or even try to listen to others. I've made the decision to go no contact with my paternal family since I came out because they're the same way. So it stings to see someone so loudly and proudly be like them and be praised and accepted for it. To look around an entire room and wonder who here is happy with people like me being legislated into silence, or worse. For people to clap when Gina says she won't be forced to be "woke" - aka to respect people who are different, like me. Remember, Disney never asked her to stop believing her MAGA stuff, they just wanted her to act professionally while she was their employee.

In any case, nothing will stop me from loving Cara Dune, and I will proudly wear my new cosplay tomorrow.

[watercolor-hearts]

v you are literally a blessing from the gods above i swear bc i can’t concentrate on writing without reading something so 🛐

i would love some a/b/o with simi and/or charlos? like them discovering they are true mates? idk i just need fluff in this tiring times

btw your writing is amazing keep up the great work 🖤

I'm trying to be as transparent towards my readers as I can so I've decided not to post this story in a separate post but as an answer to this ask of yours. Writing these little stories is a learning process for me to find out what I can write and what I can't. And as it turned out I can't write a/b/o things. We've discussed it with Nyx and I asked them to pick something else as a replacement. They wanted a second part to Still a human, and now I'm here with it.

Thank you for your kind words and your continuous support, Nyx. I'm sorry for the long wait. ❤

So once again: this is not an a/b/o story, this is a second part to my non-binary Seb story.

Seb/Kimi • 747 words • non-binary Seb • lipstick and nail polish • birthday • supportive Kimi • fluff • established relationship • Ao3 link

-

If anyone had told Kimi that he would one day shop at a makeup store, he would have thought they were stupid because he and makeup products couldn't be further apart.

And yet, now he was in a makeup store with a determination to find the most beautiful red lipstick for his partner's birthday. But the thing he wasn't expecting is the amount of brands and products in the store. He thought it would be a few lipsticks in different colors and a few other products but not millions of brands and product stands as far as the eye can see. He was a bit lost, to be honest. But luckily, some ladies who work in the store came to help him.

A few minutes later the mission was accomplished and he was on the way to the hotel with his little nicely wrapped gift to surprise Sebastian.

***

“I missed you,” Seb said after kissing Kimi.

“You always miss me even if there's only one hour when we're not in the same place.”

“Maybe I'm in love and I wanna be with my lover,” Seb smiled, grabbing Kimi's hand and guiding him to the bed.

“I brought you a gift,” Kimi showed them the gift bag when they sat down on the bed, “For your birthday.”

Seb's eyes widened. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Kimi handed it to them, “Open it.”

“Thank you, it's really nice of you,” Seb smiled while taking the little box out of the gift bag. “Oh my...” they looked at Kimi and then at the little box again. “A lipstick and nail polish.”

“In the exact same shade,” Kimi nodded. “The ladies at the store said that this is the most famous red shade and everyone loves it. So... I hope you like it.”

Seb put the box down and pulled Kimi closer to kiss him. They had never imagined Kimi would buy them something like this because their coming out wasn't long ago and Seb was sure Kimi needed time to get used to Seb being non-binary and slowly starting to show it when they're together at home or at a hotel.

“I love it!” Seb exclaiked, eyes glowing from happiness, “It's so pretty. Can I try the lipstick on?” Seb asked, excited to try it because they'd never worn red lipstick before, only some clear lip gloss. “I wanna leave the nail polish for the summer break. Because...

“I know,” Kimi nodded, caressing Seb's hand. He knew Seb was still closeted and he didn't want to push them to do something they don't want to. Their safety is more important than some red nail polish. “Put on the lipstick and then show me.”

Sebastian nodded, a wide smile on their lips as they jumped to go to the bathroom. They were very excited to try it because it was another huge step for them. They had already bought a mascara and clear lip gloss but nothing else so having this beautiful red lipstick meant a lot to them. Especially because it was from Kimi.

“How is it?” Kimi asked a few moments later.

“The shade is amazing but my application is... not,” came the answer from the bathroom and soon Seb stepped out, laughing and trying to cover their lips because they weren't perfect.

“Show me, darling,” Kimi asked, getting up from the bed and stepping closer to Seb. When Seb showed it to him, Kimi smiled. It was true that the application wasn't perfect, it was uneven in a few places, but it was still better than if Kimi would've done it, and Seb was beautiful and happy while wearing it, and that's what mattered to Kimi. “Look at you, Seb. Red is your color. You're beautiful.”

“Really?” Seb asked, smiling from ear to ear. They were a bit scared Kimi wouldn't like to see them wearing makeup but it seemed like Kimi didn't mind it. “But I'm sure there's some on my teeth.”

“That doesn't matter. What matters is that you're smiling. Happy Birthday, darling,” Kimi said, looking into Seb's eyes, and then kissed them, deeply.

“Now we've smudged the lipstick,” Seb laughed after the kiss, pushing his finger on Kimi's lips, and then showing him the red color on his fingertip. “It looks like red is now your color, too.”

Kimi didn't mind it. Especially not when a few minutes later Seb was on the top of him in their bralette, covering his whole upper body in red kiss marks.

[kotobukicutie]

It’s ass o’clock in the morning, I can’t sleep, and I really want to talk about this. Putting it beneath a Keep Reading for some spoilery stuff because there are somehow some people out there who might not have seen the beauty of an anime that is Kekkai Sensen. Please, if you haven’t seen it yet then go watch it. I genuinely cannot recommend it enough. This isn’t gonna be some extensive thing, it’s literally almost 5:30 in the morning and I’m tired but can’t sleep, but I need to at least air my basic thoughts. And now, to get down to what brass tacks I can reach at this hour.

I’ve seen people say that the Kekkai Sensen anime has no plot. That’s actually not correct from what I’ve seen. It’s all episodic plot points that, when you step back and think about them, link together in some way leading up to the finale. And it’s the same with the second season, as well. You have to step back and THINK to pick up on what’s going on, because it’s not outright stated what the plot is and what the point of the series as a whole is. And, frankly, that’s one of the things I love most about it. It looks like disorganized, disjointed chaos from the basic perspective and that’s what makes it such a fun watch even if you never pick up on the plot behind it all.  And more than that, the characters aren’t flat and underdeveloped. Y’all are just so focused on the “missing plot” that you haven’t been paying attention to the subtle character developments that come with each plot point. Case in point, Zapp is made out to be an absolute piece of garbage of a human being from the get-go. And yet in episode two he DELIBERATELY puts himself on the line to make sure they can track Leo down when he gets into trouble, even though he’ll deny it to Hell and back. He may be crass and, frankly, a bit of a bastard, but that one episode proved he’s not always as bad as he acts. Even if 99.9% of the time he’s someone you’d want to hit with a sledgehammer repeatedly. And then there’s Leo! He starts out a completely, easily frightened young guy who’s just gotten caught up in a shitstorm he never planned on. But by the end of season one he’s literally HIT Zapp for being an inconsiderate assbag at least once! He may take a lot of shit, but he’s come to the point where he’ll throw down when he feels he needs to or he’s just DoneTM. That? That’s growth. He has a heart of gold, but he does learn when to drop the nice attitude when need be - even if he still has trouble doing actual harm. And in season two, it becomes even more apparent. In the season two finale, he LITERALLY PROTECTS HIS SISTER AT THE COST OF GETTING REALLY FUCKING HURT. At the start of the series, he’d freeze up a lot when Big Shit was happening. But this time he was like “Nah, not happening my guy” and held it down as long as he needed to even though he was getting stabbed by needle arm...leg...things (look, idk what to call them even now). It takes stepping back and piecing the context of each episode together to see both the plot and the character development. Edit: One of my friends actually put it into better phrasing and perspective. “I mean, wasn't the whole aspect of being dropped right into the action and having to catch up as you go along an intentional feature that sort of reflects the chaotic vibe of HL? Somewhere that's so overrun with weird shit happening all the time isn't going to pause to take a minute and give you the 411 on the current socio economic status lmao.” The point being that the seeming disjointed chaos is reflective of the very setting they’re in. Something to be expected of someplace as wild and weird as HL! So even if you don’t agree that Kekkai Sensen has a plot, the absolute chaos that is the series was probably the point from the very start.

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

I'm sorry but i'm addicted to our boy Spamton- I have a little unique request here. So this takes place where Spamton just moves in the Queen's mansion, he meets the reader and immediately falls for their kind words and gestures. Weeks pass, and he goes to see them, but catches them talking and hanging out with Swatch.. He gets really jealous to the point of changing his style to match Swatch's

"Oh [y/n]! Have You Met Our Newest Guest?"

"Uh, I don't believe-"

"He's An Interesting Addison Who Made A Big Name For Himself! Ohohoho!" Queen laughed joyously, pausing to sip her glass of battery acid. "I Wonder How He Got So Rich...No Matter. As My Peon, I Order You Greet Him......Whenever It's Convenient For You."

"Sure thing. I'll go now." With a respectful nod, you set off to the mansion's guest chambers to meet this newcomer. You've lived here for a long time--and somewhat reluctantly since Queen decided to make you one of her peons one day. But life was actually pretty good.

It wasn't like you had anything better to do, so if she needed someone to help her with plans that..didn't seem all-that urgent, you'll offer your assistance. She let you stay in the mansion for free and never made you do anything if you weren't feeling up to it.

For a tyrannical ruler she was rather kind.

Yet you didn't wanna take advantage of her hospitality, so you'd just listen to whatever she says. And if she wants you to meet this celebrity as part of her endless lists of requests, then you'll happily oblige. But you were eager too since you've seen his face on TV a lot. It felt like an honor.

After wandering the corridors of deactivated puzzles, Mona Lisa-esque portraits, and meticulously-placed pottery, you finally arrived at the guest rooms. You hummed a small tune as you passed by each one, stopping when you noticed one door was open.

Peeking inside, you saw the Addison still setting up things. A phone was tucked between his shoulder and ear as he moved a box whilst rambling to whoever was on the other end of the line.

"Yea! I promise I won't let you down, okay? Soon I'll be bigger than ever before! I know I'm already a big shot but....haha, yeah, I shouldn't get carried away. Okay. Right..we'll discuss more of this tomorrow. Thanks!"

After hanging up the phone and returning it to the receiver, he finally noticed you and smiled. "Hey, hey! Haven't seen your face around here yet. But surely you know mine, right?"

"Yeah." You smiled, not wanting to shy away from talking with him. "Spamton, right?"

"Everybody's favorite number-one rated salesman!!" He laughed. "It's good you know me..'cuz soon ALL of Cyber World will know my name! It's a pleasure to meet you...?"

"[Y/n]. I'm one of Queen's peons." You shook his hand politely. The energy that radiated from him was so bright. Just as much as his pearly smile was.

Stepping inside, you glanced around at the luxurious furniture. He definitely got the higher-class rooms, with the addition of a large window that showed the neon green meridians that stretched across the night sky. It was certainly a beautiful view to fall asleep to. "Need help unpacking?"

"Oh--sure!!" At first Spamton seemed surprised by your offer, but he nodded. "If you want, be my guest. And while we unpack, I gotta ask you..how's it being Queen's peon?"

............

Weeks passed, and you've gotten to know Spamton more and more. You realized he was actually a sweet down-to-earth guy all around. Although he was on the phone a lot, he'd make time to hang out with you, so you two became fast friends.

He was truly living the best life. Posters of his car advertisements were littered all over the city, and the Swatchlings attended to his every need. Though one thing was hard to admit, even when it seemed like he had it all:

You were his only friend now that everyone else is intimidated by his status--as they would shy away from conversing with him--and the Addisons, well, abandoned him out of jealousy.

Obviously that made him worry about driving you away, especially when he's on the phone nonstop. But...the fact you've been so kind to him in every word and gesture, treating him like a regular person and not some untouchable celebrity, was quite endearing. Most admired him for his products, not his personality.

Your kindness made him fall for you hard and fast, ever since day one. He wasn't sure if this was a good idea; to let it get in the way of his business.

But what the hell? He was a big shot! He can afford to go a bit bigger and take more risks. Living in this mansion with someone who loved him would be the perfect dream.

There was a much bigger dream that his valued caller insisted he focused on, but that can come later.

So this morning, Spamton set out to find you to address these feelings once and for all. Yet he was rather nervous. Addisons were most confident in selling products, not so much...everything else. But he didn't wanna back down. He kept smiling no matter what.

As he checked inside the color café that he usually frequented, he saw you eating at the table. He noticed you weren't alone but with Swatch, talking and...

Laughing with them?

And just like that, his smile faded much like his hope.

Of course, the head butler had their ways to swoon people. He tried not to think of it as anything more than just their personality. It's just their way to entice returning customers.

That's all...right?

Spamton ducked behind one of the displays, listening in on your conversation to determine if he should proceed or not.

"By the way, we've known each other for a while and..I've always wanted to ask you something.."

"Yes? What is your inquiry?"

He held his breath. This is exactly what he feared. Knowing that you've been here longer, it's obvious you'd be closer to that damn bird-

"Your outfit."

Then he exhaled shakily, relieved. 'What are you getting so worked up for, idiot?' He thought in the back of his mind, but he continued eavesdropping.

"Did the Queen make it or give it to you? It's very stylish and really makes you stand out from the other Swatchlings."

"Ah, in fact I decided this look for myself." Swatch chuckled softly, raising a wing to adjust their glasses. "The tailor did marvelous work with my vision: black suit, tinted glasses. Very fashionable, is it not?"

"It is. I like it a lot."

"Why thank you. I see why our Lady Grace admires you. Just for that compliment, I'll give you a discount on any of our products in the gift shop."

"Should be every day if you ask me." You joked, earning another chuckle from them.

Seeing all of this and the way you two spoke like close friends was a jab in Spamton's heart-shaped object. 'So [y/n] likes people who stand out? Well I can stand out, too..' He thought bitterly as he stormed out of the shop without either of you knowing he was there.

Why should he settle with being a blank-slate Addison like the rest of them? He didn't consider himself one anymore.

Today, he told his valued caller, he was gonna be a whole new person.

It would help him get closer to both of his dreams, but there was only one on his mind now.

............

Later that night as you were getting ready for bed, you heard a knock at the door. You huffed in annoyance, assuming Queen needed you for something.

She had a knack for disturbing you at ungodly hours. But knowing better than to ignore her, you went to answer the door anyways-

To some strange black-haired guy in a black suit and white turtleneck sweater.

"Hi, um...can I help you?"

"[Y/n]? It's me."

"....wait....Spamton?"

"Yeah!" The salesman laughed, throwing his arms out and making a pose. "Whatdya think of me now?"

Perplexed, you looked him up and down. He ditched the lime-green pants, instead wearing white trousers. And his hair was slicked back. But what was most peculiar about him were his glasses, tinted with pink and yellow lenses.

Had you not known any better, you would've thought Swatch suddenly shrunk and became robotized.

"Cool but..you kinda look like Swatch a little bit. Was that on purpose?" You mused.

"...haha....yeah uh..funny story. Um.." He dropped the act, losing his trademark grin as he wondered how to explain himself and this sudden transformation. You could tell he wanted to talk inside the room, so you let him in and shut the door.

"I don't recall Queen mentioning any costume contest-"

"It's not a costume." He muttered, uncomfortably rubbing his hands together as he looked at you with sadness. "This is who I am now. The new me."

"..huh? You serious?" When he nodded, you frowned slightly. "I'm confused. You don't look like an Addison anymore-"

"That's the point...! I...I don't wanna be associated with them anymore. I decided to stand out, y'know? If you're gonna be a big shot, ya gotta stand out from the crowd!" He forced a laugh that sounded rather glitchy.

You didn't buy it. It wasn't like him to do this out of the blue.

"Spamton, why imitate Swatch of all people? And why out of the blue like this? I mean..I don't mind if you like their style. But I didn't even recognize you until you spoke."

Try as he might, he couldn't make any better excuses. So seeing that he was cornered made him finally admit his jealousy, overhearing your conversation with Swatch while he was browsing--when he really wasn't, but he didn't wanna come off as creepy.

His voice glitched further due to stress, accidentally blurting out some kind of...flirtatious term as he explained how much you meant to him since day one.

You weren't sure if he meant to say "hot single" on purpose. Though you were flattered that such a famous guy like him...actually had a crush on you, an ordinary Darkner who just fetched the Queen's stick wherever she threw it.

You found it hard to believe he thought of you that way..so you kept your own feelings buried. So to see that it's mutual was a relief, and it made you smile.

Spamton, on the other hand, was stressing the hell out. So much so he didn't even see your smile. He just saw himself being stupid the more he rambled on.

It was such a stupid, stupid reason to get insecure--to the point of changing his entire appearance without warning. All because you were friends with a butler who was doing their job???

How selfish can he get when he already had everything he wanted and more?

When he did acknowledge your small smile, he thought you were holding yourself back from laughing. But you had every right to laugh and call him a joke for thinking this will get your attention.

As he finished talking, he could see your smile fade and huffed. He waited for you to tell him how stupid he looks and to go back to being the plain old Addison you met.

Instead of ridiculing him you...hugged him?

At this point you were sitting on the bed together. Of course yours wasn't as massive as his was, but it was big enough for you two to share.

"Spammy, I'm flattered you like me in that way but...you didn't have to do all of this to get my attention. I promise there's nothing going on between Swatch and I. We're just friends. They're not replacing you or anything."

"I know, it's just.." Taking off the glasses, he set them aside before hugging you tightly, head buried in your chest. "I don't wanna lose the only person in this damn place who makes me feel like myself. Who loves me for me, not my success. And...I-I felt like I had to change something about myself to make sure of that."

"Well..you don't need to change anymore. I love you no matter what you look like."

He blinked, his face turning as red as his cheeks.

You could sense his embarrassment from the way he tensed up in your arms and chuckled, patting his hair softly. "Just..don't feel pressured to change for me..or anybody for that matter, okay? Or at least let me know if you're gonna change things up again."

"You don't think..I look stupid or creepy like this?"

"No. Honestly you look pretty handsome. Black hair suits you well."

Hearing those words made him breathe a small sigh of relief. He nodded and hugged you tighter.

His new looks were staying for good.

[shibaraki]

hi my name is sae (she/her, 18) and i'd like to be patched up by one of the haikyuu boys :) people describe me as quiet until i come out of my shell, as well as artistic and caring. i'm kind of a loner and i don't have many friends; its also taking me longer to warm up to people these days. i guess i just wanna know what it's like to be someone's first choice n be genuinely appreciated? a lot of times i just feel sad and i'm very affection starved. n e wayz . my love language is quality time. mbti type is intp. and i'm a scorpio. my hobbies are digital art, watching anime, caring for succulents, and collecting bts merch. ideal first date is going to a cat cafe n then going home w that person n watching anime until we fall asleep <3

hello Sae it's lovely to meet you! thank you for participating and for all the detail, it really helped! I hope you like it ＾＾

You will be patched up by... MIYA OSAMU

OSAMU is similar to you in some ways, he is reserved with those he isn't close with and is very pensive. I think he would connect with you through that. Similarly Osamu is also a creative, though not artistically, but in the culinary field. You quickly find things to connect over, and once he's comfortable with you his barriers drop easily. His trust of you makes you feel at ease and you will find yourself spending most of your time with him.

His open mindedness extends to learning about you and your hobbies. Osamu is very invested in the things you love and will ask genuine questions about it. He is the type to show off your creations publicly and doesn't particularly understand why you find it embarrassing.

Osamu shows his affection through actions, something he tries to make clear to you. He's also an out of the box thinker, to some peoples surprise, and is good at coming up with solutions to any personal problems you share with him. His thought process is much more objective and therefore he is good at sharing different possible perspectives.

Osamu is a homebody and a giver. At most all he wants is for your stomach to be full and your heart to be happy.

Taking one look out the window of your workplace, you feel your face twist in displease. The rain has worsened, not stopped like your app had suggested, and now you had no choice but to walk to the bus stop. You hadn't called your boyfriend, Osamu, simply because you knew he was still working. Sun or rain, Onigiri Miya was always pretty busy at this hour, what with people walking home from work and all. You didn't want to burden him, his business was his first priority after all.

So you switch off your laptop, stuffing it into the case and collect your things. Many of your colleagues had left already, you'd had to stay behind to discuss something with a senior member of staff, and it seems during that timeframe the weather had decided to spite you.

You take your phone out to text Osamu and let him know you were leaving the building as you always did, but halfway through typing the message you abruptly walk into a firm body.

"Oh god, I'm so sorry sir- Samu?" You startle. Osamu is standing before you, umbrella by his side now closed and drenched along with his coat. His cheeks are wind bitten and red, but his eyes are soft as he leans down to kiss you in greeting.

"I preferred sir," he teases against your lips with a grin before pulling away and leaning down to take your bag from you.

"W-what are you doing here? Your restaurant is still open!" you stammer, trying to grab the bag back but he holds it away from your reach with a playful roll of his eyes. You glare.

"Yes, it is, and my staff are perfectly fine running it alone for an hour," he reassures you firmly, eyes skimming over your outfit. You grimace at his frown, knowing he was internally scolding you for forgetting your coat at home. "Making sure you get home safely is much more important" he mutters, reaching for his own zip and pulling it down to shrug out of the jacket, hanging it over your shoulders.

"You are my first priority".

No one had ever made you feel this valued before. You think if the space in your chest was a skyline, the clouds there would part and the sun would shine through.

Pulling the coat closer you lean into his side under the umbrella, letting him lead you to the car. To home.

Insecurity infirmary (closed)

[babeyvenus]

The Wolf Among Us

Bigby x OC

Summary: Sonya Blaze, A.K.A. Hell Rider, is a half fable, half mundy girl who comes to Fabletown to learn more about her side of the folktales. She works alongside Sheriff Bigby Wolf as his newest partner and together they strive to find out who's behind the unexpected murders in Fabletown.

TW: Mentions of death, gore/blood, alcohol, smoking, drugs, sex implications, suicide, guns and ofc language.

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

Chapter 20: Break in

The Woodlands

Sonya made it back to the Woodlands and parked in her usual spot in the back alley before walking back around to the entrance. “Hey, Grimble.”, she greets, not worrying about the man’s response as he sleeps.

She walks over to the elevator, waiting for the old box to come down. ‘ Maybe being on leave isn’t too bad …’, she thought as she looked at the bag in her hand with the big bold word of BEST BUY . She grinned as she stepped in the elevator and pressed the button to her floor.

When she reaches her floor, she walks down her hall and notices her door in a weird position. Almost like it was open…

She stopped once she got a bit closer to see that it was indeed open. She snapped her fingers to herself, “Nope.” She turned around and headed toward Bigby’s apartment.

She knocked on his door, looking around the empty hallway. She could her clops coming to the door and the door opened to reveal Colin. “Hey, toots. What’s going on?”

She looks around and looks at the pig. “Hey, Colin. Is Bigby here?” He shakes his head. “He’s probably at his office, if not then he’s out beating up other fables.” She doesn’t respond, keeping her eyes on the empty hallway. “What's up?", he asked.

"Someone was in my apartment while I was gone...", she says. Colin steps aside and lets her in. "You could call his office to see if he's there.", he says, closing the door and managing to lock it.

She scrambled to the phone and dialed his office number. 'Please, pick up. Please, pick up. Please, pick-'

"Hello?", his gruff, mumbled voice answers. She assumed he was smoking again as she lets out a shaky breath of relief. She slid down to the floor by the phone.

"Hello?", he calls again. She clears her throat a bit. "Hey. Uh, are you busy?"

He's silent for a moment before answering, "You're back already? I'm not busy right now– what's wrong?"

"Can you come here? I had to go to your apartment. We need to talk,” she says. She could hear him bustling around, most likely getting ready to come over. "Yeah, I'm on my way."

She nods, even though he couldn't see it and hangs up, waiting for his arrival.

Moments later, she could hear him unlocking the door and he walked in. He looks around to see her give him a smile but it didn't meet her eyes. "Did you have someone in your apartment?"

She stood up. "That's what I called you for. I didn't even get to go inside yet." He led her to her apartment, seeing the old door opened for everyone who walked down the hall to see. He growled, keeping her behind him as he walked up to the apartment.

He peeked from around the corner, his nose twitching as he took in the smells. He took note of her scent, the wood of the old door, a small candle on the lamp table she had and a very distinct scent. It was familiar but he couldn't put his finger on it. Nor did he like it.

He frowned as he walked in, taking silent steps. Sonya looked around before stepping in. "Who do you think was in here…?", she whispered enough for him to hear.

He gave her an unsure face, and looked around the dark apartment. She didn't have much so why would anyone break into her place?

Sonya looked in her kitchen, seeing the window in the kitchen open. She closed it and locked it, sighing. Bigby closed the other window. He looked into her empty bedroom and bathroom, frowning at the sight of no one.

He walked up to her. "From now on, you go through the front entrance. No shortcuts, nothing. Not until we figure out what's going on. Are we clear?"

She nodded. He crossed his arms, giving her his signature glare. "I mean it, Sonya.", he says as if he were lecturing a child. She looked up at him with a frown. "I got it.", she says.

Unsatisfied, he leaves it alone and brings her go the Business Office. He frowns at the sight of Bluebeard discussing with Snow and locking eyes with him. "And the dog himself appears.", he says.

Sonya walked up to Bufkin, giving him a smile. "How are you today?", he asks. She rubs behind her neck. "Pretty off today, Bufkin. What about you?" He gives her a worried, soft smile. "I'm as well as can be."

Snow walks up to Sonya, making her frown. "I thought you were supposed to be on leave.", she says, placing her hands on her hips. Sonya crossed her arms. "I am. I'm going through something right now and I definitely don't need you to start anything with me."

"Sonya, I could care less. We don't need you right now. There's nothing happening. There's no case, the Crooked Man is gone. You two handled that very well .", she sneers.

Sonya rubs at her temples, feeling an oncoming headache. Bufkin took that as his cue to leave. "I don't need this right now.", Sonya sighs.

"Whether or not you want me here, I still have a job . Which means it's my only way to even pay for my apartment. Unless you feel like paying the rent yourself, I'd suggest you turn your business elsewhere.", Sonya says, walking toward the mirror as Bigby and Bluebeard nitpick.

"Hey, Mirror.", she calls. The green face appears. "Hello, Miss Sonya."

She rubbed her arm. "You wouldn't happen to know who showed up at my apartment a few minutes ago...would you?"

"Alas, Miss Sonya. For I cannot tell the past.", the mirror replied. She looked down dejectedly. "Sorry about that. I won't need anything else. Thank you." The mirror nods with a smile before showing her reflection.

She sighed. "Dammit. Who would’ve wanted to go to my apartment? I don't have anything like Beauty and Beast..."

Snow looks up from her desk. "Do you need anything else or are you headed out?"

Sonya's jaw clenched. "I don't think I need any of your help. I haven't needed your help since I got here." Snow glares. "If you don't need any then you can go. We sure don't need yours."

Sonya scoffed. "What the fuck is your problem, Snow?" Snow crosses her arms. "That's Ms. White to you. My problem is that you're trouble."

Sonya's eyebrows rise. "I'm trouble?"

"You're often reckless and you add fuel to Bigby's fire. Which he already doesn't need. You don't give him restraint, you egg him on and just watch from the sidelines.", Snow says.

"We went over this already. Bigby is not a pet. He doesn't need to be kept on a leash 24 fucking hours of the day.", Sonya argues. "And did we or did we not get stuff done? Was anyone killed on our behalf?"

"No, but that's not the point.", Snow says. Sonya places her palms on her temples for a moment. "How is that not the point? There was no bloodshed and even if there was, it sure as hell wasn't coming from the opposing side. They were out for blood and over the stupidest shit. The Crooked Man tried to kill us multiple times, for fuck's sake!"

Sonya walks up to the desk, placing her hands on it. "We got the job done. We may have hit a few bumps on the road but in the end, we got justice. So this,"

Sonya gestures to Snow's glare. "Know-it-all, high and mighty, snobby, by the books shit you got going on isn't gonna cut it with me. And it sure as hell ain't gonna cut it with our next problems. Especially if our next problems commit another murder that we have to solve once again."

Sonya stands up straight, crossing her arms. "You've got no reason to act the way you're doing right now. If anything, you're acting like a child . You're "trying" to be mature and "professional", but it's not working. You were better before you thought it was okay to put me on leave over some bullshit.", she says, making Snow's hardened expression falter.

"So if you're writing a book and you must know, I'm here because someone thought it was a good fucking idea to B&E in my place while I was " on leave ".", she says, making Snow’s eyes widen.

She pauses, noticing the silence coming from the room. She turns to Bigby and Bluebeard, meeting their confused eyes.

Bluebeard smiles and adjusts his clothes. "Well, I think it's about time I leave. I take you all have something wondrous to talk about.", he says, walking to the door.

"Hold on, Bluebeard.", Bigby calls. Bluebeard pauses. "You didn't see anyone suspicious enter the Woodlands, did you?"

Bluebeard looks at him over his broad shoulder. "No, not am I worried about that because it's not my job. That should be your job as well as Grimble. Ask him.", he says before leaving.

Bigby shakes his head as he looks at the two women. “Yeah, someone broke in today. I’ll ask Grimble and I’ll see what to do afterwards. I don’t know what’s going on with you two and this hostility thing you guys got going on but it needs to be handled. As for you,” He points at Sonya.

“You need to be on your guard. C’mon.” he says, walking toward the office door. Sonya sighs before following and exiting before him.

They walk to the elevator; Sonya storms in irritation and nearly leaves Bigby in her dust. Once they enter the elevator, Bigby glances at Sonya. She leaned on a wall of the elevator, her eyes closed as her chest rose and fell heavily, as if she were trying to calm down.

He frowned softly, disliking the sight behind him. He didn't like being around someone when they were riled up. It didn't help his own anger and irritation but seeing her so worked up, it made him feel….helpless.

"So...", he speaks up, looking away. Her eyes opened. "You wanna explain what that was about?", he asks.

She frowned, rolling her eyes. "Girl talk." He snorts. "You guys fight. That's girl talk?"

Sonya bit back a sigh. "Just a little powwow. Frankly, I think it's something she's been needing to hear for a while.", she says. Bigby shakes his head. "She means well. She's a disciplinarian but she's doing her best."

Sonya glances at him, her lips pressed in a slight pout. 'Doesn't matter what anyone says… Snow's still an angel in his eyes…'

She frowned in frustration before the elevator doors opened to the lobby. They walk up to Grimble, frowning at the man's snores.

Bigby knocks on the front desk. "Hey. Grimble." Sonya frowned at him in disbelief. "No, "hey, sorry to wake you up"?", she asks, making Bigby shrug.

The sleeping man looks up, rubbing his eyes. "He'd be lying if he apologized. What's the matter?"

"Have you seen anyone suspicious walk through here?", Sonya asks. Grimble frowns and shakes his head. "No, not that I don't think."

"It's even weirder because even if he is asleep, he knows anyone and everyone that comes through here.", Bigby tells her.

"I literally have nothing that's valuable. Unless they're looking for my phone, that might be another story.", she says. She frowns sadly. "If it's not one thing, it's another…"

Bigby frowns, placing a hand on her back. "Let's go take a breather."

She looked up at him. "But I just went out." He shrugged. "So?"

She sighs. "Fine.", she says, walking out of the Woodlands with him.

However, across the street, far into a dark alley, someone watches the sheriff and deputy leave the building.

[mysterystarz]

rules!

welcome to the rules page in which some general guidelines for interacting with this blog are listed (damn that sounded so professional)

i'm usually pretty lax with rules but here's the rundown:

this blog is a sfw blog so nsfw requests will be filtered out

nsfw blogs can still interact with me (i have no issues there) >> please keep in mind that I won’t be discussing anything 18+ with you

please be considerate of how you address me in the ask box (i am a bit sensitive to bluntly worded things but i'll do my best to keep this interface as accessible as possible)

I will do my best to get requests in as fast as I can, but if I'm not sure how to write something, I may keep its release a bit drawn out! >>> i'm also a school student, so sometimes getting requests posted may be a bit hard due to schoolwork!

usually, I'll do the requests based on what inspires me most, so it might not always be in order!

my ask box is always open for chats, so if you wanna talk, drop me a message ;)

AN IMPORTANT ADDITION :: i am always here to listen if you have problems and such, but PLEASE ask me if you can beforehand (so that way if it has topics that are too heavy for me, i can decline) >> i also ask that you are OFF ANON so that way i'm in a better position to help (mutuals are exempt from this)

this blog (and me) accepts all genders, religions, and identities (so hopefully it can be a safe space for all of you lovelies!)

do not interact with this blog if you are racist, homophobic, believe in or support white supremacism (or anything that discriminates race, gender, religion, or against any beliefs) >>> these things are not tolerated

do not interact with this blog if you support the notion that anime characters are racist, homophobic or follow creators who propagate this

do not interact with this blog if you participated in any hate nights, or make jokes about dadchi, flattykawa, and r*tsumu >>> it's not funny and it's just immature at this point

please do not plagiarize my work (i put a lot of time and effort into my stuff but would be more than glad to message and swap ideas anytime!)

in general, I'm not a fan of drama, so please do not involve me in any that doesn't pertain to me or something that happened pertaining to this blog (I'm a fan of peace, and am more than willing to talk things out if there's anything)

[hikari-writes]

『Dr. Stone』

Fluff Oneshot

❝ Only To You ❞

Request: Hey! ^^ Can I ask for a scenario where Ryusui constantly flirts with the reader and it's clear that he likes her. But she doesen't like his greedy and capitalist personality but somehow still finds him charming and she's very conflicted and there's a lot of tension (somewhat like tsundere dinamics). So some angst but fluff at the end. Sorry if it's weird >

Pairing: Nanami Ryusui

Warning: LOTSA FLOOF

Genre: Fluff

Words: 1.9k

I AM SO SORRY THIS IS SO LATE i had trouble making this one ngl,,, I'm not the bezt at making a angst+fluff fanfic 😔 if it's angst, i gotta make it full on angst and if it's fluff i gotta make it full on fluff. So im sorry this has no crumbs of angst 😢 or,,, should i even be sorry??? Do u even wanna angst 😳😳😳 lmao but anyways! I finally finished my last request and I'm drained. Hope you like this,, lotsa love!

“You're looking beautiful as always, Y/N.”

You shot a glare at Ryusui before turning away from him.

"....What do you want?"

"I was just saying what's on my mind. No need to get so defensive," he said as he grins, showing his neatly aligned, pearly white teeth. 

You heaved a sigh in defeat. This man has been constantly flirting with you ever since he first saw you and you *don't* like the attention you're receiving. 

He may have been a popular rich kid back in the modern world with many beautiful women beside him, but in this stone age, you couldn't help but to see him in a bad vision. 

You're not one to mind flirty behaviours shown by others, but what made you truly detest Ryusui is because of his greedy and arrogant nature. It just somehow hit your nerve, and you don't like it. 

"Do you need help with that?" He asked as he pointed towards a pile of fabric you were carrying. They were meant to be sent to Yuzuriha, and you did not wish to waste any more time on Ryusui so you just shook your head in response and quickly left him. 

As you tried to leave, you accidentally tripped on a stick that was lying around and fell flat on your face. The pain from the fall hurts, but it was nothing serious. Rather, you were more concerned of Ryusui who just witnessed your embarrassing fall. 

You turned to face him but he wasn't at his previous spot. You wondered where he went off to when suddenly he appeared in front of your eyes with a concerned face.

"Hey, are you okay?" He asked as he cupped both your cheeks in his hands, inspecting every single part of your beautiful face. The close distance between your faces and the warmth his hands were radiating made your face flushed. You completely froze in your spot, not knowing what to do. 

After a few more seconds had passed, you finally snapped back into reality and moved away from his touch.

"Don't touch me so casually, please," your voice came out louder and calmer than you had intended, and you internally praised yourselves for not stuttering at all even though your face beet red.

"I'm sorry about that, but are you really okay? You didn't hurt yourself from the fall or anything?"

The way he asked that in such a concerned and genuine manner made your heart skip a beat. You didn't know he was that concerned about your well-being. 

"I'm perfectly fine. Please excuse me."

You quickly left him alone, more careful this time as to not trip for the second time.

Ryusui watched as your back slowly left his vision before standing up from his crouching position. 

"You really like her, don't you?"

He turned back to see Gen leaning against a wall while looking at him with the eyes of all-knowing. 

"You can ompliment-cay all the women in this world, but in the end, she's the only one you'll ever look at with those eyes."

Ryusui gave a light scoff at his statement. 

"I hate to admit it to you, but yeah, you're absolutely right."

How could he not? You may act cold around him, but he always saw how sweet and kind you can be. How hardworking and stubborn you are sometimes made him smile to himself. How he wished he could hold you in his arms right now. 

~~**~~

You stopped in your tracks as you heard the familiar boisterous voice that belonged to no one other than Ryusui. He was talking with Senku and the others. Probably about something important but you noticed how his charming smile never left his face during the discussion.

You were so caught up in staring at him that you didn't realize the approaching Minami behind you. 

"Who are you staring at, hmm?"

You almost screamed at the sudden surprise but you managed to cover your mouth before then and when you turned around, your eyes narrowed at the grinning Minami.

"Stop scaring me like that, Minami," you said as you glared at her. She only grinned mischievously as a response and looked over you to see who you were staring at.

"I smelled a maiden in love so I just had to. But anyways, you were looking at Ryusui huh?"

Your face turned red at her guess, exposing the fact that you indeed were staring at him. Minami's grin widened as she saw your reaction. 

"I wasn't staring at anyone. Besides, I'm not a 'maiden in love' or anything. I DON'T like him," you turned away from her, covering your face to hide the blush that's forming on your face. 

"I doubt that~ You were totally staring at him. I know you like him, Y/N."

A vein popped on your forehead and you continued glaring at her who seemed to be too excited about someone else's love life.

"Oh, fancy seeing you two beauties here."

Ryusui's voice from behind you made you let out a squeal in surprise. You quickly hid behind Minami, using her as a shield from Ryusui. 

Ryusui blinked in confusion when he saw how defensive you got as soon as he came close to you. A little part of him was a bit hurt because of what you did, but he decided to not pay it any mind and continued smiling at you two. Gen who was near looked at you in amusement. He didn't expect you to get so embarrassed to the point of hiding behind Minami. 

"What were you two talking about?" 

At his question, you glared daggers at Minami, silently warning her to not spill the beans. She just sweatdropped as a response.

"Nothing much," she replied to him nonchalantly. He looked dissatisfied with the vague answer and was about to question more but before he could you had already tugged at Minami's arm, pulling her away from him.

"Sorry, but we're a bit busy. Excuse us."

And with that, you quickly left him all the while dragging Minami along with you. 

As soon as you and Minami were no longer on sight, Ryusui heaved a quiet sigh. He wanted to talk more with you, but with the way it is now, it didn't seem possible. 

"Well, if she hates me then, I'll just do everything I can to make her mine!"

Ryusui declared that loudly, showing his greedy nature to the world. Gen shook his head in disappointment. 

"The both of you are really idiots," he whispered that softly to himself.

~~**~~

"You know that Ryusui likes you, right?"

The sudden question by Kohaku that was aimed at you made you choke on your water. Yuzuriha who was beside you quickly rubbed circles behind your back, easing your coughing. 

"W-where did you even get that idea??"

Kohaku's lips formed into a cat-like smile, amused at your flustered reaction. 

"I mean, it's kinda obvious? He always flirts and compliments you most of the time. Sure, he is like that towards everyone but there's something special that he only shows to you, y'know?"

Your face flushed at her statement, but you never let yourself be indulged in the idea that Ryusui had some kind of special feelings towards you. 

"Don't be ridiculous. He's like that towards everyone. There's...no way he would like me. I keep acting like such a cold person towards him."

Everyone fell silent at your confession. They don't understand how you could be so dense of Ryusui's feelings towards you. And it's clear that you also felt the same towards him, even if you keep denying it. 

"Then, why don't you give him a confession chocolate next Valentine?"

Nikki suddenly suggested that, breaking the heavy silence. 

"That's right! I heard from Taiju that Senku's planning to make chocolate for Valentine's. I think that's perfect," Yuzuriha chimed in, nodding her head along.

"That's...a bit….uhm…."

You tried to find the right word to decline the suggestion but after seeing all the girl's pleading eyes, you just can't bring yourself to say no to them.

"Fine. But I'm just making him a chocolate! No more no less."

The girls all cheered in unison, succeeding in convincing you to make chocolate for Ryusui.

~~**~~

You held the box of chocolate you had decorated neatly close to your rapidly beating heart. You had helped Senku and the others in making the chocolate in hopes of understanding the process better before making it yourself. The taste was pretty good, if you'd say so yourself. 

That night, you searched for Ryusui everywhere. You hadn't seen him at all today. You asked several other people of his whereabouts but they all shrugged their shoulders, not knowing where the greedy blonde was either.

In the end, you decided to just search for him in his tent. Surprisingly, he was there. Although, he's not awake. You saw him peacefully sleeping with his captain hat on his laid body. 

Your heart raced at the rare sight of him without his hat. The peaceful face of him sleeping made him all the more charming and you could've sworn the sound of your heartbeat was loud enough for other people to hear.

You decided to leave the box of chocolate right beside him and leave it at that. However, as soon as you sat beside him, his eyes shot open and he grabbed your wrist with a lopsided grin adorning his face.

"Hmm~ What were you trying to do, Y/N?"

You tried to retreat back your wrist that he's holding but he didn't loosen the grip on it at all. Your face turned bright red once again and you looked down in embarrassment, unable to look him in the eyes.

"Nothing! I wasn't doing anything!"

"Then what's that box you have there?"

You tried to quickly hide the chocolate box after he pointed it out in hopes he'd forget about it but you yourself knew that it's pointless. 

He sat himself up while still holding onto your wrist. 

"Is that for me?" 

He asked, his voice was soft, unlike how loud he's always been. 

You slowly nod your head. There's no use in hiding that now. 

He reached behind you for the chocolate box. Your breath hitched at the closeness of his face with yours. You could feel his breath brushed your face gently. By the time he had already gotten the chocolate box, your face was already as red as tomato. 

He stared at your flushed face. You hadn't realized it since your eyes are spinning from the embarrassment. He softly cupped your cheeks in both of his hands and made you face him. 

"I like you," he softly whispered to you. It was just your gut feelings, but you *know* he meant every word he said. Your heart was filled to the brim and you couldn't be happier to hear those words come out of his mouth.

"I...like you too..."

He gave his signature smile before slowly bringing your face closer to his...when suddenly,

"Hey! Stop pushing!"

"It's not me! It's Kohaku-chan!"

"Lower your voice a bit!"

The obvious whisper-yelling voices of the people outside interrupted your kiss. You pulled your head away from him and turned to the front of the tent.

"All of you can't be more obvious!"

The voices went silent before they entered the tent with awkward grins on their faces. Your face went bright red but no longer than a second later, Ryusui burst into laughter. 

"Well, isn't this great? Everyone here can witness that you're mine."

Then, he swooped you into a loving kiss, surprising everyone with his action, including yourself. 

You felt like you would faint after he pulled away from the kiss and your face was so hot and red to the point there's even steam coming out of it. Ryusui just grinned nonchalantly after what he just did. You swear this man will be the death of you.

The End

[estrxlar]

The Ghost Of You

02 - Growth

Chapters songs:

Peach Fuzz: Tyler The Creator

Nice Boys: TEMPOREX

Money: The Drums

— Y. L. Perspective

I walk into the lunchroom empty-handed and nervous. Like the idiotic person I am, I had forgotten my bento on the bus and surely couldn't depend on any of the students to possibly find it and give it back to me.

And so, I begin searching for my fellow third-year friends. It was hard due to the countless students looking for their friends to discuss a simple ten-day break, which I didn't get why it was such a big deal. But it wasn't like I could relate in any way, I had three measly friends who spent every hour of the day with me.

Suddenly, an underclassman boy decided to run across my path hastily, causing me to trip over his shoes, and fall onto the ground.

"What're you doing on the floor, Y/n?" A strong hand reaches to my face, waiting for approval to lift me. His blonde hair shuffles between his free hand.

"Thanks, Toruku," I say, pleased I found 1/3.

He pulled me up and assembled a smile onto his pale face. "No problem. Mind helping me find Giki and Hikishi?" He asks as I dust off my fingers. "The bell is bound to ring soon, so we'll be able to get lunch then. But not if we don't find them."

"Yeah, that's what I've been doing for the past five minutes," I say, with a slightly worried tone. I wasn't trying to spend my entire lunch looking for a place for us to sit. "How about we split up? I'll find us a table, and you find them?"

"No need. We're already here!" Says my black-haired friend, Giki, who stood next to Hikishi.

"Finally, now can we go eat? I wanna catch the lunch line before it gets full." Before another voice calls for me. I sharply turn around, ready for the confrontation.

"Yes?— oh!" My eyes widen at Suga, who plastered a worried expression onto his face.

"Sorry to interrupt you, it's just, you left your lunch on the bus. I came to return it to you." He explains, holding his hand out for me to take the item. It looked just as before; a little scraped and worn out, but still the same.

"..really? Wow, thank you." I take it back, looking back up at him. "It means a lot. I was about to die of hunger. Plus, I've had that since middle school."

"Y-Yeah! Of course. I couldn't just leave it there." Sugawara brushes his hands together, still mumbling something to me. But my eyes were focused on the box, feeling the warmth of his hands that still lingered. "But it's no problem!"

Then, I had remembered the entire reason I rushed out of the bus. Bearing another moment around him after sleeping on him would have killed me. "Listen, about this morning. I'm really sorry, I was really tired this morning. I never meant to invade your space or anything—"

"Oh, about that!" He suddenly interrupted, eager to go into the conversation. "There's no need to apologize for it. I'm actually kind of used to it, since I go on a lot of road trips with the volleyball team, we get pretty tired after games. Not that it relates or anything! But you seemed pretty embarrassed. I wish we could have talked more."

"I'm sorry, I really am. I was just in a rush, it's not something you should stress about." I explain to Sugawara, as he shifts from one foot to the other.

"Of course, if you'd like to talk more then... I guess we could. It has been quite a while, I'm still a bit curious to learn more about you." He replies, looking down in a bashful way. It surprised me such a social, popular, and beautiful guy like Sugawara would want to talk to me out of all people.

"...I don't mind. Although, it confuses me why you'd want to." I laugh, placing my hands into the pockets of my uniform.

"Why wouldn't I? We used to be good friends!" He smiles at me brightly, as he continues. "Besides that, I'm interested in what you do. Music, I mean—"

"Ahem!" Toruku interrupts with the clearing of his throat, leaning over my shoulders while side eying me. "If you don't mind, could we go eat now? We've all had a long day."

"Oh!" Suga is brought out of his concentration on our conversation. "Sorry! How inconsiderate of me to keep your friend stuck talking to me!"

My hand gently pushes away his face, and my eyes look back at Suga's. "If my buddies don't mind, we can teach you all about that." I turn to the three students that stood behind me wide-eyed. "It's okay, right?"

They straightforwardly shrug, meanwhile, Toruku looks grim. "Yeah, it's fine."

"A-Are you sure? I feel like I'd be intruding on something!" Sugawara says, worried my friends wouldn't be very accepting of him. But truth was, we saw each other more than we saw our parents, so thirty minutes with an additional person wouldn't be too much of a problem.

"It's alright," Giki says, meanwhile we walk towards an empty table near the stage. Sugawara's feet stutter, contemplating whether or not to go along with a couple of social rejects.

"If you don't want to, that's fine too. Just don't hold us up." I grin, looking over my shoulder at his confused look. "Hurry, Sugawara!"

"Oh, alright then," he mumbles, following the rest of us.

After stealing ourselves, I let out a big yawn, opening what sat in my bento: white rice, pickled vegetables, and soba that I had microwaved this morning. "You're not having anything, Suga?" I question him, while the rest of my friends open their bentos as well.

"Oh, no thanks. I usually eat after school." He returned. But as if he were in mute, I start shuffling around my book bag to find something I might have. Finally, I find a simple orange: not too old and not too new.

"Here, eat this." I toss it to him, and he quickly catches it. "I keep extra good in case I get hungry. Plus, don't you do volleyball? You've gotta way to be strong!" I say in a raspy voice, mimicking a coach or older adult.

He giggles, and thanks me for the small gesture. Even if I'd just started talking to him again, it felt as if I was comfortable around him already, just like before.

"You do volleyball?" Toruku questions him, placing his feet onto the table. He laid back with his arms behind his head, and the collar of his uniform unbuttoned. He was trying to prove something to him.

"Sensei Tamaki is gonna yell at you again.." I sing, placing a lump of rice into my mouth. The rest of them agree, and Suga just giggles while peeling his orange.

Suga nods at him, giving him a light smile. "Yes, I'm a setter. I coordinate the attacks and basically everything else."

"Oh..?" Giki, Hikishi, and blondie all utter confused at the new term. Thankfully, I had the slightest experience in volleyball, which meant I could explain to them.

"Being a setter means you're like the control tower of the team. Like Giki; without her drums, there wouldn't be a steady beat to a song. Or take Hikishi; the base is what makes a base tune. That's the best I can explain in your language." I explain, looking to Suga for any corrections.

"That's right, yeah. How'd you know?" He leans on his arm.

"I may not look like it but I used to play back in middle school. But really, I just played because of my friend group. All of them were the athlete type." I reply to him, meanwhile eating before loudly being interrupted.

"TORUKU AIZAWA!" The expected teacher yells at him, pulling many people's attention. "I WILL NOT START WITH YOU THIS SCHOOL YEAR! FEET OFF THE TABLE..!"

"Okay, okay!" He rolls his eyes, placing them back onto the floor, and crosses his arms. "That old hag.."

Suga laughs softly. His hand crept around the fruit, peeling it as he discussed more. The only thing that was embarrassing was that his words spoke about me. "So, I've heard Y/n is really talented. You know, I would have figured that out if she wasn't so introverted as a first-year."

Hikishi makes a small noise of agreement, before sealing their food, and responding. "Oh, yes. Y/n his her vocal skills from us for quite a while before we brought her out of her shell. Not only that, but she's really good at guitar. Ever heard her?"

Sugawara shakes his head, looking back at me. "No, but I'd love to hear! I understand she's quite angelic."

"I— Uhm, no!" I smile sarcastically, leaning over the table to stuff a piece of chicken in Hikishi's mouth. "Now you be quiet!"

Sugas head perks up, as he begins, "So are you guys signed? Better yet, do you have a band name?" He questions, leaning on his hand while he talks.

"Grimlace." Giki responds, resting her head on her folded arms. Why was he so invested in this conversation? Hell if I knew.

Still, it seemed they had no problem with meeting Sugawara. Well, except for Toruku. But he was always suspicious of any boy I was comfortable with that wasn't him.

While he discussed with my cremates about different subjects on music, I quietly ate my food, observing Sugawara while he had absolutely no idea.

When he was fifteen, I remember loathing the first few moments around him. He'd only ever talk and have energy inside him, like a living Red Bull bottle with an extra shot of caffeine. Of course, the next few times I saw him I'd already gotten used to him and his tiny crush on me. His aura was what inspired me to rebuild myself. Sad thing was that when I was done grieving, he had just begun.

I heard that one of his parents had passed away and that it was a big impact on him. I couldn't even imagine losing one of my parents, even if they hardly even raised me. How I wish I could go back to last year, and find him again, meanwhile searching for the old him. But it seemed that the agony that weighed his kind soul was light, and once again, I met fifteen-year-old Sugawara and that bright smile of his.

—

"It was fun talking to you all. It's not always that I get to converse with such a different group than what I've known." Sugawara mentions as he stands up from the lunch chair, along with the rest of us. "You all must know Karasuno isn't a very divergent school."

"Ah yes, we're aware," Toruku says, slinging his shoulder bag where it belongs. "It was nice talking to you as well, but we've outta get going now. Have a good one, Sugawara!"

"Hey," I say, drawing his attention back towards me. "I might stay a little bit late after school. If—..if you've got practice today maybe you can help me get back to the neighborhood." I silently prayed he didn't catch my stutter. "It'll be pretty dark, wouldn't want me to get lost, now would you?"

Shortly after, he replies, "Why, of course. Although, practice usually ends around five to six. Mind if I swing by once it's done, that way I can wait for you?"

Hikishi quickly swung an arm around my shoulder, and smiles at the grey-haired boy."That would be great! Maybe our Y/n can play a little something for you since you're so invested in her. Isn't that right, Y/n— ow!" He yelps at the harsh pinch of my fingers on his face. I sharply turn once more, bowing to Suga.

"Thank you. We'll be in music room 3007. Though I doubt I'll make a fool out of myself and perform for you," I say, as a small laugh leaves my lips. "I'll see you then."

"Got it, have yourself a good day."

"Yeah, you as well."

—-

Hello folks! Thanks for coming back to read. I really appreciate it! Please vote for my chapters, I work very hard on them and would love some love :) make sure to get good rest and drink lots of water. Love you♥️♥️

- Sugawara's beauty mark☆

[bi-kisses]

Okay, I was just browsing through your blog and, of course, read your opinions about gender and sexuality. I kinda flip-flop with identities because I'm still finding out who I am as a person. Like how I identify as either NB(AFAB) or androgynous because I think of them somewhat interchangeable and don't really feel like I fall in either side of the gender coin or feel like I have a mixture of both gender. I know I'm biologically female and still use she pronouns along with they pronouns. I'm pretty much "I don't really care 🤷‍♀️" when if comes to my gender. I'm me. I try not to get too hung up on my identity or think too much about it. When it comes to my sexuality, I still believe I'm bi. I'm in a heterosexual relationship right now but I would date a woman but wouldn't be in a sexual relationship with said woman. I tried looking up is it strange to be asexually attracted to a gender as a bi person, but never got anything from it. But I'm a mixed bag of what the fuck in both the gender and sexuality departments. I'm just kinda cruising through life and just wanna keep my labels simple. All these acronyms and abbreviations for so many genders and sexualities confuse me greatly. Sorry for spewing out all this shit in your ask box. Not sure if I said it for validation or something else. I dunno lol.

you seem nice (and I think I know who you are based on my notes but I won't tag) and I don't want to be hurtful or invalidating but I would encourage some introspection about your identity and sexuality. I've posted a lot about both the things you said you feel, but I don't really feel like just linking ten posts to you so I will restate them for more clarity and feel free to message me!

1. Not caring when it comes to gender is a symptom of being cis. Your brain is not at odds with your body, being perceived as female doesn't bother you. I don't want to make too many assumptions here, but it does seem like you like looking androgynous rather than wanting to be physically non female, which sounds to me like you've adopted your gender identity based on not fitting in gender roles.

I don't know your situation though, if you do have physical dysphoria then that's a whole other kettle of fish.

Recommendation: research body dysmorphia. Ask yourself if living as an androgynous woman would be satisfying. Try and put your definition of your non binary gender into words without discussing gender roles.

2. I've talked at length (admittedly with hostility) about the Split Attraction Model, aka the SAM. I disagree heavily with it and posit that sexual and romantic attraction are two sides of the same coin; romance is a social construct that details courting rituals. Sexuality is a biologically predetermined trait that influences who you see as a potential mate. This is observable neurologically in homosexual men and women.

So here's what I ask you: do you feel as though having a sexual relationship with a woman would be distressing? Or, rather, do you not know what it would entail and prefer something known (heterosexuality)? Do you see women as physically appealing? Were your first introductions to the idea of homo/bisexuality negative or layered with stereotypes?

I hope this made sense and can help somewhat, again, if you'd like to discuss further my DMs are open.

[artificialqueens]

Gimme Love, 9/9 (Miz Cracker/Blair St Clair) - Grinder

AN: Sorry for taking so long to upload! I've had a hard week but everything is fine. Here we are - the end! Wanna know something interesting? There was actually going to be more to this story. Like, we were gonna get more flashbacks from when Brie and Juju went to college. There they would meet Tatianna, who was a badass feminist. And she'd be the one to help Brianna with her glow up. But the story was already going on too long and I couldn't fit any of it in.

Also I was going to go down a completely different route for the story. If any of you have actually seen the music video for Gimme Love by Joji, it ends on a more darker tone. And that's how I was gonna do it with this fic as it was based on it. But I just couldn't do it.

So I hoped you guys enjoyed it. I know I didn't get a lot of reads on it, but I'm glad knowing it was recieved by some. Anyway, on with chapter 9!

Major TW's for this chapter: Alcohol, mental health discussion.

2020

It was the day of the pre-party. It was going to be held at my place. I was prepared for possible drunkenness, embarrassing moments, but celebrations of everything we had accomplished. This was something I had worked my ass towards for so long, and it was finally happening.

I smiled, proud that I had finally punched myself in the face (figuratively, of course). I opened my eyes and saw how easy it was to rekindle with Mom. I was scared about seeing her in a few weeks, knowing we'd have to talk about my issues. But I knew now. If I didn't, I would just continue to get worse and worse.

On top of that, the Ed Sheeran problem was over and done with. His team understood fully, and he was set to perform at the launch.

And finally, I would meet Blair again. And it would be different this time. I wouldn't be the shy, insecure teenager she had always seen me as.

However, despite all these promising signs, my smile dropped. I imagined this morning playing out entirely differently.

Jujubee would be the first person to message me. Fuck, she'd probably even break in just to make sure I was up.

None of that happened. I know one should manage their expectations better. But it still hurt.

After two cups of coffee, some soggy cereal and a shower, I tried calling her. It rang a few times but went straight to voicemail mail.

I didn't bother leaving another message. I didn't wanna freak her out.

I probably wasn't helping my case. She probably thought I was relying on her, that she was life support for me.

But that wasn't the case. I mean, I couldn't just stand up and be like, "OK later, bitch," after practically growing up together. How could I just let go of someone I held so dear to my heart?

My eyes travelled across the kitchen, at first only her disappointment during our argument, how I had never seen her so angry.

On the counter, beside the fridge, there was my memory box.

What would Grandpa say in this situation?

Remember how I would write things he'd say to me? Just little bits and pieces of advice as something I could hold on to? I gave it to Mom to put it away for me. It had to be in the box.

I stood up, the stool making a scraping sound along the ground.

But a knock at the door tore my attention away.

Why did I hope it would be her?

Well, because it wasn't out of the ordinary for her to come and visit in the morning. Maybe this was it. I was forgiven.

I rushed to the door with the slight fear that if I wasn't fast enough, I'd miss her.

I unlocked the door and flung it open, a smile on my face, ready to greet her.

5 people were standing there; the decorators. I tried not to let my smile falter as I let them in.

-_-_-_-

8PM and my place had never looked livelier. For my first time hosting a party, it didn't feel like there was much hosting to do.

It felt like any other party I had been to, a room crowded with people dancing or talking to each other.

The music wasn't too loud, so the disorientation wasn't there.

I held back from drinking with the fear of doing something embarrassing, especially around Blair.

My bathroom was still clean when I went to apply a fresh coat of gloss. Good. Nothing to worry about.

I made my way back downstairs to the party, crossing the barrier at the bottom. The only place off-limits to the guests was upstairs. I'd hate to think there would be some people who'd want private time, especially in my bed. It happened at college once.

After a small party in our dorm, I found a couple midst coitus in my bed. Never again, I had said.

"Brianna!"

My head whipped in the direction of the voice, every bit of hope I had inside building up.

"You look stunning." A raven-haired woman approached.

"Thank you," I said in more of a questionable form. My brain couldn't figure out who this was.

"My name is Raja. I'm a writer for Cosmo," that explained it, "I was wondering if I could ask a few questions for a piece I'm doing. It's on the most influential women of the year."

I wanted to say no in the case I missed the arrival of Blair.

As if she read my thoughts, she spoke again. "It won't even be five minutes."

She was right about that. 15 minutes it lasted. We were locked in my bathroom, the four walls making the place feel cramped.

She asked me questions about how I reached this level, my morning routine, and what I put in my hair to make it so voluptuous. And all the while, I just kept fearing that Blair had arrived. That she had searched around for me and left when she couldn't find me anywhere. I would discreetly glance at my watch, hoping too much time didn't pass. But around 5 minutes in, I didn't care for subtlety. Not that Raja noticed. The questions seemed endless.

When she turned her recorder off, she further complimented my outfit. I thanked her, inching my way to the door. This lasted another 3 minutes.

She said I was a tiny woman with a lot of heart. I held back from saying I was a tiny woman with a lot of baggage.

When I finally escaped, I searched the place for Blair, and when I didn't find her, the panic started.

"Did anyone come in in the last 15 minutes??" I asked the workers hanging by the door.

"Yeah, there were 2 people. And I've never seen them around work. Could be anyone, Brie." They said with worry in their tone.

"OK, was one of them a girl? Blonde hair. Around my age?" I questioned further.

They glanced at each other for clarification, then looked back at me and shook their heads.

"Nope. Just two guys." One said.

"Probably on a pussy hunt at their local party." The other said.

"Or dick hunt."

"Or both."

"Nah, how would they even get in?"

Realising this was not Blair they were talking about, I thanked them and excused myself.

So she wasn't here yet. That's fine. Probably just running late.

I gave in and had one glass of champagne. Just to calm my nerves.

And the last person I wanted to see started to approach.

Ed fucking Sheeran. He raised a glass to celebrate and thanked me for the hotel room we paid for. I said it was no problem. And just as he was about to suggest some pictures for his Instagram, I quickly navigated away.

But I was caught by another person who just so happened to be Joey.

"I am so glad you changed your mind about the whole Ed thing. Like...girl…" he sipped his own drink.

"Yeah, it was easier than I thought." I shrugged. "Kinda feel awkward being in his presence now, though."

"I'll distract him if you want. British guys are kinda cute." Joey smirked.

I tsked, cocking my head at him. "Joey, you didn't like the guy a few weeks ago."

"I never said I didn't like him." He smirked.

"I mean, you can try." I rolled my eyes, a small smile appearing on my own face, "don't expect it to go anywhere."

Joey winked and brushed past me, making his way in Ed's direction.

Setting my glass down in my sink, I made my way to the bathroom just to check my lip gloss. A woman couldn't be too careful.

Once inside, I felt cramped again despite being alone. Maybe it was the underlying feeling of worry from being trapped in the room with Raja.

I told myself to breathe but then questioned why I was even doing such an exercise. Everything was fine. Life was good.

Looking in the mirror, my gloss was fine. But I applied a new coat anyway, just a reassurance.

And upon leaving, I set out in search of Blair again. She had to be here, just somewhere lost amongst this large amount of people.

Maybe she found someone else to talk to. Maybe not.

I moved to the balcony, the cool night air a relief.

But she wasn't there either.

I sighed, wanting a cigarette or something. Anything to calm the rising panic I was feeling inside.

I closed the door and moved further into the night, peering over the balcony and out into New York. The twinkling lights were pretty. I took a picture and sent it to my Mom. And in a few seconds, she started calling me.

"Hey, Mom."

"Hi, baby. I just thought I'd see how things are going." She asks, sounding pretty optimistic.

"I mean... it's OK, I guess. A bit crowded at my place right now." I replied.

"You nervous for tomorrow?" I hear the mischief in her voice.

She believed I'm not nervous, that I was a confident, strong woman. But she was wrong. "Of course I am. I mean, we've gone through all the precautions, so it should be fine. But still…"

"Well, baby, I promise you, everything will work out fine. It's you we're talking about."

I smiled, trying to teach my brain to agree with her.

"I would say I'd have a drink for you, but I'm trying to keep away from it tonight." Even though that was a lie.

"Yeah, you don't wanna go do something embarrassing like flashing anyone or whatever." She laughs.

"Wow. I didn't realise that was something I did." I quipped sarcastically.

"How about Jujubee?" I could still hear her smile.

But mine slowly dropped. Fuck, I had no idea. Immediately I stood back from the balcony. "Ugh...yeah, she's fine. She's good."

I moved to the door and looked past the glass at the large number of people. Fuck, I didn't even know if she was inside.

"Am I gonna get to see a picture of your outfits? You two always look like the stars of a party."

"Yeah," I faked a small laugh. "I'll go find her and get a picture. I'm gonna get back inside, OK?"

"No problem, baby. Love you."

"I love you too." I clicked end call and quickly made my way back inside.

How the fuck had I forgotten about her so quickly? Not like she was in my mind that morning or anything.

Now I had to find 2 people. I rushed inside, looking out for both of them. I checked the kitchen, dining area, lounge, the bathroom. Fuck, I even checked upstairs in the case Jujubee was there.

But there was no sign.

Where the fuck was she? Where was Blair?

It was getting harder to hold down the anxiety. Was Jujubee right about Blair? Was this another instance of my childhood crush getting my hopes up and flaking out?

The next drink tray I saw, my hand went straight for another glass. Two wouldn't hurt.

"Hey, you made it!" I heard from the front of the room, by the door.

I quickly downed the champagne and practically ran for it, too afraid to miss who had arrived.

Just as my hopes were quickly up, they fell just as fast. It was just Alex, Joey hugging him at the door.

"Fuck...Fuck...Fuck…" I whispered to myself.

A third glass of champagne found its way into my hand, and in a matter of seconds, it was down the hatch. I grimaced at the taste now, feeling like I could throw up at any second. Was that all just the anxiety, though?

Another bathroom break, I was fixing my gloss once again, scared to ruin my makeup. My hands were trembling. Fuck.

It wasn't stopping.

Back out in the main room, I tried to scan the crowd, standing on my tiptoes to try and see past everyone. It didn't help much.

Despite the music and rambling chatter happening around me, I heard the front door open, my eyes shot in its direction.

I struggled to move past a small group of coworkers, trying to get a good view of the door.

I didn't even get my hopes up this time. And, of course, it wasn't Blair.

Jujubee was right. Blair wasn't coming. Once again, she had led me on to believe I did mean something to her and that she'd give us a chance.

My hand gripped my scalp, turning away from the door. I growled, "Fuck," which didn't go unnoticed.

There was Nina with a hand on my arm. "Are you OK?"

"Yes." I lied so quickly. "I'm fine. Just... it's a little crowded in here," I fidgeted with my hands, "Is Jujubee here?"

"Yeah, you haven't seen her?" Nina raised a brow, rubbing her hand up and down my bicep.

"No." My eyes looked around briefly. "Where is she??"

"I dunno. She's you're best friend." Nina squinted her eyes. She didn't mean to sound accusatory. I guessed she was more concerned.

"She is." I reaffirmed, even though now I wasn't so sure.

"If it helps, the last place I saw her was the kitchen."

"When?"

"Half an hour ago."

I rolled my eyes and groaned. "She could be anywhere."

"Girl, it's fine. Not like we're in a labyrinth. You'll find her eventually." Nina smiled, rubbing my arm again.

I paid her no more heed and hurried towards the kitchen in the hope I'd find her there. But like the rest of my apartment, it was crowded. I stood on my toes again to try and catch a glimpse of black hair.

But there was no sign. Stressed, a shaking hand reached for another champagne. Usually, my tolerance for alcohol was high, but right now, I was feeling it. I was wavy.

In my now weary state of mind, I decided what was the fucking point? Blair had 100% flaked, as per usual, and Jujubee was obviously avoiding me at all costs.

Nina had followed me, taking my hand. "Follow me."

I didn't fight it. She moved to the staircase, pulled back the barrier and let me pass through.

She ushered me to walk up to the top before moving no further.

Turning towards the crowd beneath us, Nina addressed the people with a raised tone. "Can we have your attention, please?"

The people went quiet, beaming up at us.

Nina talked about how much of a good night it was, all while the alcohol was taking me over.

My eyes scanned the crowd, in the final chance of hope, wanting nothing more than to see Jujubee's glowing smile shining up at me.

But I couldn't. Not because I had double vision. But because she was nowhere.

I squeezed my eyes shut, breathing hard out through my nose.

Nina put her hand on my shoulder. And only then did I realise that I had blacked out, missing everything she said. I blinked a few times, trying to clear the film that had glazed my brown eyes.

"But we all wouldn't be here without our leading lady." She smiled warmly. "Everything she's achieved, it's all brought us to this moment. Let's raise a glass to Miss Brianna Caldwell."

Everyone started cheering, only a few raising a toast, the others clapping. My eyes widened, feeling all those eyes on me.

"Hope you have a speech prepared," Nina whispered in my ear.

And me, being the queen of saying just 3 lines and quickly evacuating the scene, decided no. Fuck it. I had something to say.

When the crowd began to settle down, I began to deliver the messiest speech ever.

"Well, funny you should mention achievements, Nina, because, yeah, I'm standing here before you all, having done the impossible. But what does that matter?" I laughed, shrugging. "Yeah, it does matter a whole fucking deal. I mean, look at you all. You wouldn't be here if it wasn't?" I laughed awkwardly again, but as I continued, my smile began to disappear. "Well, sometimes you just want a certain someone to give a shit. And they make you believe that they do. Just for like 5 minutes. And it feels so so fucking incredible. It feels like...like you matter. You're not just plain old Brianna Caldwell. You mean the world to them…" My tone dropped, "And then...you realise you're the most gullible, unaware, stupid fucking idiot in the world. They don't really give a fuck about you. They don't see all the things that you've achieved in life and think…' Wow...What an incredible person.' They just... don't give a fuck about you."

Everybody looked confused, uneasy even, while others giggled. Glad to know I was serving as the entertainment for the night, and I was in the same room as Ed fucking Sheeran.

Then, as if some higher power looked at me with a shaking head, maybe my grandpa, there was a glimmer of light at the back of the room, a flash of movement. And my eyes were drawn to the source.

My heart stopped

There she was. Finally. Blair St. Clair smiling apologetically at the few people who were looking at her. They smiled back as they should. She was breathtaking.

And her eyes moved to where everyone else was looking.

Right at me.

Such a familiar feeling was falling over me.

Everyone else in the room. Gone. Like they just stepped into another world, leaving the two of us in this reality.

She panted, out a breath, like she had run to my place. Impossible, she looked like an absolute angel in her gold wrap dress.

Nina nudged me. I snapped out of my daze, reminded of the whole crowd of people looking up at me with confused stares.

Fuck...what do I say now? How do I backtrack?

"But...you know what?" I started to speak again. "You realise, you're just overthinking again. 'Cause, that's a very on-brand thing for you. Every little incident of the past has taught you to doubt that good things actually can happen to you." My smile was returning. "Because the people who give a shit are there. Because you've done the impossible. And they couldn't be happier to be part of your story." My eyes were moving through the crowd, "Do what makes the ones around you proud, and what makes you fucking proud. And don't let anyone or anything hold you the fuck back. Because you have a purpose."

Thank fuck for the fact everyone started cheering again. I thought I had fucking bombed that I would see a recording of the same speech the following day all over Twitter, along with comments about how dramatic it was.

But it was fine. I saved it. I smiled at everyone and hugged Nina, suddenly overcome with happiness.

"Fuck you for not telling me you were gonna drag me up here," I whispered in her ear.

"Well, if I had asked you in the first place, you would have said no, honey." Nina grinned.

We pulled apart, and my eyes went back to the front door. I smiled, expecting to see Blair. But she had vanished. Fuck, I hadn't imagined her, right?

I tried to carefully make my way down the stairs without tripping, ready to look for her once again.

And upon reaching the bottom, Joey grabbed my hand and pulled me close, "someone on the balcony requires your attention."

He winked, and the butterflies in my belly went mad.

She was playing games with me. Not a very Blair St Clair thing to do, but the thought excited me.

I hurried to the balcony, ready to feel that cool air on my skin, her warm body pressed against mine.

And just as I was passing through the doors, feeling the cooling breeze, I stopped dead in my tracks.

I froze.

This wasn't what I expected; seeing her standing there, only noticing how radiant she looked in her orange suit dress.

Fuck. It felt so long since I had last seen her.

But it had been only a few days.

"Hi, Juju," I spoke quietly.

"Hey," she inhaled her cigarette, looking out to the city. If she hadn't replied to me, I would have guessed she failed to realise I was even there.

I swallowed, my eyes glancing down to the ground for a moment. The alcohol in my system was telling me to just turn and leave her alone. She didn't wanna see me.

But my brain said, "you idiot, she obviously invited you out here."

So I moved forward, rubbing the backs of my arms nervously.

I stood beside her, not even daring to look her in the eye. I looked at her orange suit, how Mom would have adored it.

"You invited me out here." I leaned my elbows on the ledge, my gaze following hers over the twinkling lights of New York.

"Yeah, I did." She did offer me a cigarette, but still, she never looked at me.

I shook my head, declining her offer, "Why didn't you just come and ask me yourself?"

"I was dying for a cigarette." She breathed out a stream of smoke. "Also, I've already spent most of the night trying to find you."

I couldn't help but breathe out a laugh through my nose. I glanced at her and was glad to see the smirk appear on those lips.

"I've been trying to fucking find you." I continued to laugh, a crack to my tone, however.

She finally looked at me, turning her body to face me. Her brows were knit together, yet the smirk remained. "No. I," she stressed, "have been trying to find you."

"So...what have I been doing for the past...I dunno, few hours?" I raised a brow. "Did I take 10 hits of acid earlier, or did I not search this place from top to bottom?"

She gave me a hopeless smile like she knew there was no point in arguing. She sucked on the cigarette, offering it to me.

I gave in, taking it from her hand, my fingers touching hers with a light touch. Her eyes moved to our hands as if she was thinking about it too. The feeling like this was a moment we needed to remember.

I took a drag on the cigarette, passing it back. She looked away, briefly turning her gaze to the ground.

But I kept my eyes on her like I'd never get another chance. "I really miss you, Juju," I spoke quietly, almost through a whisper.

She looked at me again. Her mouth moved around slightly yet remained closed like she wanted to say something. But she couldn't figure out what it was she was going to say.

I reached out, took her hand in mine. She seemed taken aback at first. But as my thumb stroked against the soft skin of her hand, a small smile began to resurface.

"There are…" she paused, "things that I would love to say to you. But I just... I'm afraid."

"Is it bad? Come on, Juju. You can tell me. You can tell me anything. I mean, we've grown up together. We've always told each other everything."

She looked apprehensive before taking another drag from her cigarette. And stubbing it out in the ashtray, she turned towards me once again.

She looked ready to say it. Whatever it was. I didn't even know the words yet. But I could tell this would mean a lot to her.

The muffled sound of the many people behind the closed glass doors became clearer, amplified even. Jujubee looked in its direction. My eyes followed.

"Blair," I uttered.

She looked slightly taken aback like she didn't know how to react to seeing us.

Jujubee dropped her hand to her side, a small puff of air leaving her nostrils.

"Jujubee." A smile appeared on Blair's face as she finally approached us both. "I didn't expect to see you here!"

"Likewise." Jujubee nodded slowly. She glanced at me, and I reciprocated.

Before I could figure out her exact emotion. But now, she was hard to read once again. My brows knit together, telepathically questioning what she was feeling.

Jujubee looked back at Blair. "Talk about awful timing though, I was just leaving." Jujubee smiled back at her.

Blair's smile was disappearing. "Oh." She paused, unable to say anything else.

"You don't have to go, Jujubee." I took her hand once again, stroking my thumb over her skin another time, just to remind her of the tender moment we were just having.

She smiled again, but only now, I knew the true words behind it. She pulled her hand away. "Early rise, actually. Gotta get up and ready for the big day tomorrow, right?" She raised her brows at me. Then she looked at Blair, "It was nice seeing you," and then back to me once more, "I hope you have a good night, Brie."

She averted her eyes, not even sparing me another glance. The clacking of her heels was deafening, each step away causing something inside to sting.

"It was nice seeing you again," Blair said before Jujubee could make it through the doors.

I heard a mumbled "yeah, yeah," before Jujubee went back inside.

My gaze still followed her, watching as she navigated the crowd.

"Did she...seem off to you?" Blair asked quietly.

"Yeah," I said without thinking. "I just...I don't know what's wrong with her...I can't...work it out…" my eyes never left the door, hoping Jujubee would reappear.

And feeling Blair's soft hand in mine, I was brought back to reality. I looked at her, seeing the concern in her eyes. Fuck, what a great way to reunite.

"Is something going on?" She asked softly.

I shook my head frantically, "N-No. We're fine...I guess I'm just overreacting. Yeah, she's just been...really busy with everything."

"That's probably true." She shrugged, glancing at the door, "Well, actually, I haven't seen what goes behind the public eye, but I bet it's taxing." Blair was facing me again, her eyes widening briefly.

I let out a small laugh, "Oh, you have no idea." And only then did I get a real chance to take her in. The girl had not changed. Well, call me corny, but she only got more radiant looking.

"I didn't think you'd come," I spoke with a hushed tone.

"Sorry, I was late. I couldn't get a cab for ages." She gave a half-smile. "I guess New York really is that kind of place."

"Fuck, I didn't think about traffic. I could have got you a driver or something. "I started rambling.

"No, it's OK. I'm here now anyway." Her eyes looked me up and down, "you look great, by the way. Pink always was your colour."

Funny how the last time she gave me a compliment, I shut her down. But now, I couldn't bring myself to do so. "Thank you."

I wasn't expecting her to hug me, but she did. It was very welcoming. If I could rate it out of 10, I'd give it a 9. Why the missing point? Cause she pulled away too soon. I needed that time, just to soak up the moment.

My arm was still around her waist when she put a hand to my face.

"It's so good to see you." She beamed, the city lights reflected in her eyes.

"You wanna go upstairs? We'll hear better up there. And it's kinda chilly out here." I hoped she didn't find that creepy or like I was suggesting something because that was not my intention, believe it or not.

I almost jumped, the sound of her sweet voice dragging me out of the storm that was my inner ramblings. "What about your party?" She looked over her shoulder at all the guests behind the closed doors."

"They'll be fine," I said too quickly.

"Oh. Well, if you say so."

She didn't find that weird. Good. I finally pulled my arm from her body but took her hand instead, leading her into the apartment.

I ignored the side glances we received, too focused on her presence behind me. Still so in disbelief that for once, she hadn't flaked out. She really did give a fuck. Walking up the stairs, I only noticed how my vision had cleared. I no longer felt drunk. Had it just been a quick rush of nausea that left me feeling so weary before? Or had the shock of seeing Blair literally walk into my life again shocked me so much to the point it sobered me up?

"Here we go," I said quietly, welcoming her into the upper level.

"Wow, you got another living room up here." Blair's wandering eyes landed on the couch.

"Yeah. The one downstairs is for fucking business and parties. And this one," I gestured to where she was looking, "is for hanging out mostly, and…" Why did I have to be so nervous?

"Hookups?" She looked at me with raised brows and a smirk.

I laughed nervously, moving to the fake fireplace and turning it on. Why didn't I just say no? She probably thought I was a slut or something. "Sit down if you want. Do you want a drink? I'd love a fucking drink right now."

"Nah, I'm good. Thanks, though." She replied, sitting down on the sofa and relishing the feeling of it.

"I need some fucking water." I rushed to the mini-fridge and pulled out a bottle.

Turning back to face Blair, she was looking at me in confusion. "You OK?"

"What?" That was all I thought to reply with.

"You seem kind of…" she paused, trying to figure out her words, "on edge."

"I do?" My hands played with the water bottle.

"Yeah, you've included the word 'fucking' in every sentence since we got up here." She allowed herself to smirk.

Subliminal, Blair. I like it.

Fuck, I dragged my mind out of the gutter and practically rushed to the couch. "Oh, it's just...tomorrow. The nerves, you know." I sat on the other end of the sofa, took a gulp of water and made myself comfortable.

Blair turned to face her body towards me. "Am I wrong, or was Ed Sheeran downstairs??"

"Yeah, he was. It's kind of a long story, actually." I laughed. "You a fan?"

"No, not really," Blair replied.

"Good, me neither. Not really into the whole wedding dance song vibe."

"Me too." She groaned, "If I hear Thinking out loud at another wedding, girl, I'm just...I dunno."

"I get it. 100%"

"Well, enough about him," Blair sat up straight, a bright smile on her face. She laughed for a moment before even speaking, "Fuck, I was just about to ask what you've been up to." She gestured a hand around the room, "I mean, duh."

"Yeah," I returned the laugh, "It's pretty much just that. This project has taken up most of my life over the years."

"God, I remember reading in the paper...fuck, I can't remember the exact title. It was this tiny article just squashed into a corner. 'Scientist seeks to prove the existence of other realities.' Yeah, it was something like that. And…" She shrugged, "I just knew it was you. And, I knew you'd go far."

I felt the blush creep onto my skin. Hearing this from Blair felt otherworldly.

"I mean, I knew before. When you told me at Prom, I knew you'd be able to do it." She added.

"How did you know?" I asked.

"Just hearing how you talked about it. Like, you really believed in yourself. It made me believe too." She swapped around the legs she crossed.

"It was hard. Trying to get people on board with everything. Not a lot of people believed it was even possible in the beginning." I unscrewed the cap from the bottle of water. "And now look at me; I got the government behind this whole thing." I shrugged and took a sip of the water. Before she could go on, I took the conversation on another route. "But what about you? Where are you in life?"

I knew where she was in life. Hadn't I Facebook stalked her not too long before?

"Well, it sounds far fetched, but I'm trying to get into the music scene." Blair sat back in her seat, eyes wandering off, looking at nothing in particular.

"You always did like performing," I noted. "Starting out in the school playgrounds. Soon you'll be playing an Arena with a sold-out show."

Did I sound cheesy? Was I too much of a kiss ass? Because to me, this was honesty. I always thought Blair had the potential to be a famous singer. She had the voice, the looks, style and personality. Who wouldn't want her as part of their label?

Fuck, it only hit me that I could have gotten her a spot to perform at the event.

Blair had stood, a small sigh emitting her lips. "An Arena? Imagine that." She smirked for a moment, stepping away from the couch. For a hot second, I thought I had stepped on territory I shouldn't have, and she was leaving. But she made her way to the window, staring out over New York. So I naturally went too. "Well, I've just been singing around bars for a while now, even had 2 gigs. Nothing too amazing." She explained. "I mean, I know you say Arena and all, but, actually, I wouldn't wanna be that big. I just...want people to hear my music."

Her smile faltered somewhat, and it spoke volumes. It wasn't happening fast enough for her, the growing number of ears that would someday listen to her words. She wanted it all now.

I sidestepped a bit closer. My fingers were so close to brushing against hers, then stopping myself in realising that was too much. "It does take time, these things. I mean, I didn't get here overnight. It will happen, Blair." She flashed me a gracious smile, and I was glad she didn't find any of that condescending. That was not my aim. "Anyway, I'd love to hear your music."

"You would?" Blair cocked her head to the side, turning more to face me, her hand on the window cill closer to mine.

"Of course," I reply. She should've known that anyway.

"Well, I'm not gonna break out into song for you right now. But I have a few videos on my Facebook. You should add me." She suggested.

I had never opened Facebook so fast. "There. I sent you a request." I scrolled through her timeline, my back now to the window, "Lemme see."

"Oh, God. Please don't. Not right now." Blair panicked.

I lifted my gaze, my eyes almost wide. Blair St Clair, the girl who wasn't hesitant to approach a mic, was embarrassed. I found this to be adorable and oddly made me feel more relaxed. "Don't be shy, Blair. I'm sure they're great."

"Brianna, don't." No joke, Blair attempted to snatch my phone away like a child.

I found it highly amusing. "Why not?" I smiled mischievously.

Blair continued her protests, trying to swipe at the phone more and more, all while laughing nervously.

Eventually, my teasing led to a chase. I still scrolled her Facebook as I ran around the room, Blair behind me.

"Which one should I look out for?" I stood at one end of the couch.

Blair stood at the other end, letting out a pant. "Brianna, you better not."

I stepped to the right, throwing her off, and she ran to her left, ready to run straight at me and take the phone out of my hand.

But I tricked her. When I took that step to the right, I pulled back and moved to the left instead. And without thinking, I threw myself down on my bed.

Before I could even get up, Blair was already there, too, crawling towards me. She reached for my phone, still pleading with me to stop.

And finally, giving the current circumstances, I gave in. "OK, OK. You win. I won't play your music in front of you." I giggled mischievously, shuffling so my back was against my headboard. "You're gonna have to remind me to check it out, though."

Blair remained at the bottom of my bed, kicking her heels off and folding them like a pretzel. It was as if we were teenagers again, catching up on all the hanging out we never got to do. She fluffed out her hair, "God, Brie, I came here to have a good time. Not to work out. Why are you still looking at your phone?"

Now that I was on her profile, scrolling back to the top, I saw a familiar picture. "Wow, this George guy's kind of cute."

Blair smiled warmly, her eyes looking upwards. And I had the slightest sinking feeling she was about to tell me this was her fucking lover or husband.

"Ah...George. What a guy." Blair blinked. "He does music too. If you like my stuff, then you'll like his too. He's got this song Gimme Love. It's my favourite."

"Is he your boyfriend?" There was no hesitation in asking.

Her brows briefly crossed. "What? No. He's one of my closest friends. Really helping me find places to perform. He's just...really cool."

I mouthed a silent 'Oh' before going on and cocking my head to the side, "Do you have a boyfriend?"

Was it normal to ask shit like this? Maybe it was. But considering I had confessed to her I liked her very much in that accidental message, perhaps I shouldn't have said it at all. Didn't want her getting sus.

I got the feeling she knew I was trying to find a way in as she raised a brow at me, the corners of her mouth turning upwards. "Nah, Brie. I'm done with boys."

I lowered my phone. That could have meant anything;

She was strictly into girls;

She had just gotten out of a bad relationship with someone, and she was going through that typical 'men are trash' phase;

She used the term 'boys' when referring to immature fuck boys who still thrived in toilet paper bombing people's houses and still fought with feminists online. She was now looking for 'a real man' who would love and respect her.

She wasn't speaking, just lay back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling.

Before the silence could go on and get awkward, I shifted in my own spot. "Do you wanna elaborate on that?"

"Oh. Yeah, if you want to hear it." She said like she didn't want to, and before I could stop her, she went on, "Well, the last was Conrad. He cheated on me. Before him, there was Ethan. I found out he'd talk shit about me to all his meathead buddies, said that my ass wasn't big enough. Then Bryce with his superior attitude. And…" she sighed, "Fucking Trevor."

Just hearing his name did something to me. I could feel how my shoulders had tensed, how the breath got stuck in my throat for a moment. But my ability to talk was unaffected because I spoke up, "I remember you saying he was controlling." I moved away from my headboard, shuffling closer to her, so close she could have put her head in my lap if she wanted.

Blair nodded, "he was," she breathed out a sigh, "I can't believe I'm even admitting this, but after high school, I started seeing him again. He promised me he would change, that things would be different. And I always feel like such an idiot for believing him."

That was upsetting. My hand squeezed in a fist. "So, what was the final straw? The thing that made you end things for the last time?"

Blair took in a deep breath, rolling over onto her front and propping her head upon her hands. She looked up at me with sad eyes. "He was just the same, Brie. Always controlling me, telling me how to act, who I could and couldn't hang out with. He was like that from the beginning to the end. I mean, you remember how he reacted about that one sex-ed class? And that time, he yelled at me in front of everyone for not sitting with him at lunch one day?"

I had no idea about the last thing. And I wasn't even surprised. Trevor was that type of guy, and you just knew it within the first few minutes of meeting him.

I was curious to know, but I kind of already had a feeling. Yet, I needed clarification. "Is that why you never came back to the library? Because he knew people would talk if you were seen with the school loser?" She leaned up now, but I continued. "Is it why you never came to speak to me about the prom?"

Blair was just watching me in silence. But I could see it, the realisation in her face.

"Fuck." She sat up and moved closer to me. "Oh my gosh, Brianna. I am so sorry. I had...no idea it would hurt you." We were both face to face, and she put her hands on mine, her eyes apologetic. She cussed, briefly looking away. "Fuck, I knew you hated me. The years of silence, of course, you did."

"Wait, no. Stop. I'm sorry. I don't wanna make you feel like a bad person. That's not what I wanted to do." I said profusely, my hands tightening just slightly.

"No, no. I'm sorry. You have every right to be upset." She spoke quietly, her blue eyes pleading with me. "Just be honest with me. I owe you that. You deserve to be heard."

"Really, Blair, it's fine. It's - -"

"Brianna. You're upset. You're not really good at hiding it, no offence." She smirked at the last comment. But the smile disappeared, and she waited for my response.

I stared back at her, my gaze shifting between both those eyes. My mind debated what to do, refuse to say a thing and let it all continue to build up. Or vent years of pent up emotions that needed to be said.

I looked away, deciding the latter decision was probably the best. I really didn't want to, what with the risk of upsetting her.

But maybe she wouldn't.

But maybe she would.

But maybe…

Her hand left mine and swept a strand of hair away from my face. I didn't even know it was there. "You're really hurt, Brie," she spoke softly.

I looked back to her finally, her hand lowering back down. And I finally found my voice. "OK." I shifted in my spot, highly uncomfortable. Come on, Brie. Just tell her.

"Do you remember the prom? When you asked me how we never talked more?" Just say it. "Because I always felt inadequate. Like I wasn't enough for you. And, not just you, even my…" I paused, feeling the lump form in my throat, "...my parents. Ummm…" saying that out loud to her, it hit differently. My voice was cracking. "I always associated you with my parents. I don't know where the connection came from, and I know now that that's fucked up, and I know I probably should go to a therapist about that, but..." I quickly explained. "But yeah, I just...never felt enough. Like 'why would Blair the cheerleader want to associate with someone like me? How could Blair ever love someone like me??'"

Fuck, it just slipped out. I studied her face for a reaction, expecting her to back away.

But she didn't. She just nodded in understanding, squeezing my hand reassuringly.

"But, um...I know now. It wasn't that you didn't care. It was just...fucking Trevor." I practically growled that name.

Blair breathed out a laugh, rolling her eyes. "Fucking Trevor."

"Yeah, fuck that asshole," I allowed myself to smile before continuing on. "I just... didn't understand how hard that actually was for you."

"It was very hard. God, it bothered me so much because I really did have a soft spot for you, Brianna. I really did, ever since we were kids." Blair smiled warmly. "And that's why I'm so glad you replied to my message. After all these years."

I gulped, thinking about that damn message, and now seeing her loving smile. "Y-You didn't think it was weird?"

Blair sighed, yet her smile remained. "Brianna. Do you think I'd be sitting here if it was?" She moved her hand to my elbow, up my shoulder, caressing my cheek gently.

I almost said something. I couldn't even remember what it was. Not that it mattered because I didn't get the chance. The moment I had been waiting for, it was happening. Her face was moving closer to mine, eyes slowly closing. And as soon as I felt her lips brush against mine, the feeling of her touch caused the butterflies in my stomach to flutter. I closed my own eyes and accepted what was happening.

The kiss my teenage self craved, dreamed about even.

It was reality.

We hadn't just slipped into some other world.

This was real life. The feeling of her hand on my cheek, that was real. The butterflies in my stomach fighting against the walls, also real.

And how I lifted my hand and held her face, also real.

She pulled away first, but her lips were still close, "was that OK?"

"Yeah," I moved my face back towards hers, initiating another kiss. I was savouring every bit of this moment. The sweet taste of her was too much to not let go of.

But she pulled back again, letting herself fall back against the mattress. I stared at her for a few seconds. Fuck, this was happening. Something inside me was hesitant to do this. The nerves, the fear of not being enough for her.

Blair reached out for my hand, and I knew I was just overthinking again. I took her hand and allowed her to pull me down to her.

Lowering my face to hers, I kissed her again, more hungrily this time. For a second, I didn't know where to go from there, still so in disbelief that my luck had turned around.

When I pulled away, my hand travelling down the side of her face. "Oh my God...is this real?"

"Of course it is." Blair giggled, her hands roaming up and down my back.

"OK. Good!" I panted, moving my kisses to her cheek, then her neck, and I could feel my heart beating a bit faster.

But because I am Brianna Caldwell, the most awkward person to have ever lived, I had to go on with the questions. "Hey, Blair, can I ask you something?" I kept my lips where they were.

"Mhmm?" She purred when I kissed that point where her neck met her shoulder. The pathetic noise she made almost made me melt, I swear to God.

"Were you…" come on, Brie, just say it, "were you gonna kiss me at the prom?"

She chuckled, "Yeah. But Trevor had to be an insecure loser."

I appreciated the cute giggling sound she made.

I lifted my head away from her skin and leaned up. I looked at her with a raised brow.

Blair was smiling still, but I knew she was getting impatient.

"So...you like-liked me back then too? Even when I was ugly?" I asked.

"Brianna, you were never ugly." Blair's brows connected, a hand stroking up and down my side. She really was getting needy. "And yes. I always like-liked you. God, that's so cute. You still say like-like." She took my hands and guided them to the knot tight at the side of her wrap dress.

"Shut up. Fuck, you're so beautiful." My hands began to untie the knot while I lowered my face and kissed along her clavicle and the only bit of exposed chest I had access to.

"Fuck. If only you knew how long I wanted this." Blair mewled. "I didn't think this was ever gonna happen. Even when I saw you and Juju out on the balcony, I was like...fuck. I'm too late."

Confusion immediately took me over. I pulled back again, looking down at her. A brief flash of frustration appeared on her face, but I ignored it. "Wait. What?"

"Yeah, I just…" Blair looked away for a moment as if debating on continuing or not, "always saw how you were around her. Always so happy. Like you were on top of the world. And I just didn't want to get in the way of that."

Her hand was trailing along my thigh, but I ignored it.

"Wait...Jujubee?" I knew that's who she was talking about, but even the sound of her name, it made something inside hurt. Not a hurt that she caused. Something...so different yet familiar at the same time.

"Yes. I never saw you that happy around anyone else…" Blair leaned back, balancing against my propped knees. "I mean, the prom? The way you looked at me, it was nothing compared to when you're with her. With Jujubee, it was...always so different."

Realisation dawned on me. I knew what she was getting at.

I opened my mouth to speak, ready to say I didn't like Jujubee in that way. But the words wouldn't surface. No matter how much I willed myself, I just couldn't. Even the thought of saying it made that feeling of hurt feel 10 times worse.

"You OK?" Her fingers danced around my thigh again, only with more wanting now.

"But…" I began, "I gave you my Valentine's card in first grade."

Now she was silent, her gaze shifting between both my eyes. She leaned up on both elbows, realising my questions weren't going to stop, and her pussy wasn't going to be eaten any time soon. She gave a nervous laugh, "um, no. You gave it to Jujubee."

I squinted my eyes. "No. I gave it to you, Blair."

"Girl, you gave it to me, and when I asked if it was mine, you shouted at me, saying it was for Juju and you just wanted me to check it out." She was laughing again. But seeing my still confused face, her smile began to drop. "You don't remember that?"

I was silent for a moment. Blair was in front of me, the love of my life, but all I could see was the image of Jujubee in my head. Her perfect little face, the way her eyes crinkled at the corners when she laughed, that bright smile, her silky black hair that always smelt so good.

I thought back, all the way back to that specific Valentine's Day. I remembered handing the card to Blair, her confused face, how the kids snickered as I stood there feeling sorry for myself. And Jujubee shouting at them all for making jokes.

But that was all.

"I... don't remember that," I spoke quietly, my eyes squinted.

"Not even the card she gave you?"

My eyes widened at that. "She did what?"

"Yeah, she gave you a card."

Now that she mentioned it, there was a flicker of an image in my head; something pastel pink. My tiny painted fingers holding a heart shape. Baby Brianna smiling, only to lift her head and see the other kids making fun.

"Oh, shit…" I whispered. I climbed off Blair and got up from the bed.

I was on the verge of pacing, my hand in my hair, "Oh my God."

"Don't be embarrassed, Brie." Blair was fully sat up in the bed now, her legs spread as if trying to beckon me back. "Not a lot of people can remember so far back."

I needed to prove if this was real or not. I'd call Jujubee. But then again, would she have even answered? If what Blair was saying was true, that explained why Jujubee was behaving the way she was. She was hurt. She was pissed because I didn't remember her card.

But how the fuck could I have forgotten something like that? All my life, that was all I ever wanted - to know I was loved by someone. Such a memory like that…

"Brie, are we...you know...gonna…" Blair spoke quietly.

My eyes widened. A memory like that. A memory that would be worth keeping.

I turned to face her. "Blair, wait here. I'll be right back."

"OK. Sure." Blair blinked a few times.

I wasted no time rushing downstairs. Taking a moment to observe the crowd, it seemed, quite a few guests had left already. At least it would make it easier to navigate.

I made my way to the kitchen. The memory box was still there. For a millisecond, I feared someone would have stolen it.

I took it to the counter, no one was around, so I felt safe enough to open it.

My nerves were wrecked as I lifted the latch to the box. I only had a small idea of the things that would be in here. Old photos, movie tickets, childhood drawings.

But I hadn't planned on opening it up so soon.

No. I needed to know the truth.

Opening it up, I saw a bunch of photos, tickets and pieces of folded up paper. I removed them, planning to possibly look at them at a later date.

The more I pulled out, the more confident I felt that Blair had got it all wrong. And she was the one who remembered things differently.

But there was a flash of pink at the bottom of the box. I gulped, pushing aside the scraps of paper burying it.

And there it was; A pastel pink heart-shaped card, 'Happy Valentines Day' writing in glitter gel pen on the front. "Shit…" I said quietly, pulling the card out.

Opening it up, I breathed out a puff of air.

'Dear Brianna, I know people in class are mean and say nasty things. But I think you are the prettiest girl in the world. Happy Valentine's day. Love from Juju xxx'

I could hear the younger version of myself reading it out loud, the insults from the other kids, Jujubee yelling at them because they were just jealous.

I put the card down as I realised Blair was right. And memories resurfaced, reading completely different.

That Valentines Day in which she refused to tell me who she had eyes for

That time she didn't invite me to stay for dinner.

How her smile would drop every time I mentioned Blair.

How I never danced with her at the prom

And finally, our recent argument.

It all made sense. Jujubee was in love with me. And instead of recognising it earlier on, I was too caught up with Blair to see it.

And what about me? How did I feel about her? Yeah, Jujubee was my one and only friend. She had gotten me through so much throughout the years. If it weren't for her, who knew where I would have been.

I couldn't pinpoint any time that I had thought of her as more than just a friend.

Well, maybe the times we'd lie in bed and just...stare into each other's eyes. Or the time she held me as I sobbed into her chest after the incident at the prom. Or maybe the times she'd smile, and it would brighten up my day. Or the exact day that I noticed how cute it was when her lashes fluttered.

Or…

My eyes met the heart-shaped card again, how the very sight of it made my heart skip a beat.

"Fuck." I ran my fingers through my hair as it was clear to me.

My eyes ventured away from the card, moving to the scraps of paper.

'Grandpa's tips for life'

My hand told me to examine the piece of paper further, so I did so.

At the top of the list, there it was. A sign.

'Go get her, kiddo. You've got nothing to lose.'

I needed to tell her.

I packed the box up and quickly left the kitchen, noting that a few more people had left.

"Blair!" I called, rushing up the stairs.

She was still there, laying in the bed, in just her white lacey lingerie.

I covered my eyes. "Oh my God. That was unexpected."

"Fuck. Sorry. I kind of had a feeling that would have been inappropriate." She asked.

"What? No. You're fine. I just... wasn't prepared for that." I stuttered, still covering my eyes. "Could you just...cover-up for a second."

"OK." I heard her say. "You can look now."

I looked back. She did pull the duvet up, but just below the wire of her bra.

"OK," I breathed out, trying to ignore her cleavage, "I think you're right about Jujubee."

"You think?"

"Yes," I replied before shaking my head profusely. "No. I know. You're right, Blair. I...I like her. Maybe even love her." Fuck, saying that out loud, it did something to me, "And yes, I liked you for so long, but you're right. I was always happiest with her."

I was expecting her to be disappointed, but she smiled. "Well, what are you waiting for?"

"What?"

"Go get her."

Grandpa's words reiterated.

"You're not upset that we're not gonna have sex right now?"

"No, Brie." Blair threw back the covers, picking up her gold wrap dress off the floor, "I already learned how to deal with it. Knowing you belonged to someone else." She wrapped her body up in the dress effortlessly, fluffed out her hair and turned to look at me again. "I know you're meant to be with her. So, go. Go tell her now before it's too late."

Despite this revelation, I couldn't help but feel like a dick. Blair was smiling, but I knew she had to feel some level of hurt. I walked towards her and brought her into a hug.

"I'm sorry for what I did to you, Brie," Blair whispered in my ear.

I only held her tighter, "Don't be," and I pulled away, my hands still on her shoulders, "If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have ever opened my eyes."

I kissed her on the cheek, and she smiled warmly. I turned to leave, and before I made my way downstairs, I looked at her once more. Her hand was on her face where my lips had been. I was glad I could give her that one last kiss, just something to hold on to.

"You really helped me, Blair," I said.

"Good." She said graciously. "Now go."

The urgency in her voice only fueled my determination.

I was under no time limit, but I couldn't help but want to reach Jujubee as soon as possible.

When I was outside, I shouted for the first cab I saw. Thankfully it pulled over. I got in and pulled out my phone.

But the car was still.

"Go! Drive!" I raised my voice.

"Lady. You haven't even told me where you're headed!" The cabbie turned in his seat.

Fuck, I sounded crazy. How he hadn't thrown me out was beyond me.

I only realised that I had no idea where my destination was. Jujubee could have been anywhere.

The driver was still looking at me, his patience growing thin. So I barked out Jujubee's address.

He seemed relieved to be on the road again. Only then was I aware of the honking cars behind us. Typical for New York, but this was too much.

I found Jujubee's number, trying my luck at the chance she'd answer.

It rang.

And it rang.

And it rang some more.

"Come on, come on," I repeated quietly to myself. Relax, Brie. It's not like she's catching a plane to the furthest state.

The phone went straight to voicemail. "Fuck!"

The cab driver glared at me in the rearview mirror.

I ignored him and tried again. Still nothing.

A few minutes passed, and I tried once more. But again, my luck was shit on.

I dropped my hands to my lap, sighing frustratedly. All I could do was just see if she was home.

My eyes trailed to beyond the window, just hoping to get there as soon as possible.

And there she was. Walking out of a pizza place, a solemn look on her face.

"There she is," I said aloud to myself before turning my attention to the cab driver. "Stop! Pull over!"

He came to a grinding halt. "Jesus Christ, lady! You really need to stop all that yelling and - -"

I handed him a $20 bill, "keep the change. Thank you."

I got out of the vehicle, eyes looking to where Jujubee once was. She was gone.

"Fuck." I looked down one path, not there. And looking down the other, there was Jujubee, rounding the corner and eating a slice of pizza.

I ran in my heels, people moving out of the way to dodge me.

I knew I was an inconvenience to so many, but Jujubee at that moment was my priority.

Rounding the corner, I saw she didn't get far. I couldn't help but bend over for a hot second, trying to catch my breath.

And when I recovered, I shouted out, "Jujubee!"

She turned, eyes wide like she had never heard my voice before. And when she saw it was me, her face sort of fell.

My hand reached into my bag, and I pulled out the Valentines Day card.

She looked confused at first, but then recognition settled in. And the disappointment was replaced with fear.

I stopped panting. And finally, I could speak. "You were right. Approval; That's all I ever wanted. And I thought that if Blair gave that to me, I'd be good enough. Because I never felt that. I never felt good enough. I wasn't good enough for Blair, I was never good enough for my parents, and I'd never be good enough for anyone."

Jujubee was silent for a moment, eyes falling to the pavement and then back up again. "You were good enough for me."

I breathed out. "I know. But I was...too caught up in my own shit to think about how you felt. Too caught up that...I didn't even think about how I felt." I paused, thinking of how the fuck I should say it. No, I didn't need to think. This wasn't some cheesy movie. "I...I love you, Juju."

She let out a breath, a shaky one like she was on the verge of tears. And her eyes became glossy. I really wanted to tell her not to cry, to be happy. But this moment, she wanted this all her life.

A tear slipped down her cheek, but she laughed. "Fuck, I got this fucking pizza 'cause I needed heartbreak food."

I returned the laugh. "Hey, it's OK. You can still eat it. It can be normal pizza."

"No. I'm not even hungry anyway." Jujubee admitted, passing the pizza to a random passerby (who was taken by surprise but accepted the free food anyway).

Jujubee walked towards me. I smiled, already smelling that sweet perfume.

But she pushed me back. "Fuck you for forgetting about the card. I knew you did. I always remembered yours."

"I'm so sorry. I don't know why I forgot. But," I paused, "Blair reminded me."

"She did?"

"Yep."

"Wow. She remembered. But you didn't."

"Yeah. I'm...really really sorry."

"Wow. Is this our first couple fight?" Jujubee put her hands on her hips.

"It could be. If... that's what you want to call us." I suggested.

"Perfect. Seal the deal?" She raised a brow.

I knew where this was going. "Oh, absolutely."

Jujubee stepped closer, wrapping her arms around my shoulders and pressed her lips against mine. And that unfamiliar spark coursed through me, like it came from somewhere inside her and travelled through my body.

And I didn't care for the fact we were in the middle of the street, probably inconveniencing others. All that mattered was the happiness coursing through me, the feeling of...being complete.

I pulled out of the kiss first. "Wanna get in that rocket and be the first to go to the other world?"

Jujubee smiled but quickly stopped. "I-I'm kinda unprepared. I mean... I'd need a toothbrush, my clothes..."

"Where we're going...you don't need 'em." And then I played the words back in my head. "Oh. Oh shit, no. Not in that context. I just meant... you'd get new ones, you know? Fuck, I'm terrible at this."

"No. You're just you." Jujubee laughed, and fuck, I adored how her eyes were crinkling at the corners.

We grabbed the nearest cab. When we told him where we were going, his eyes widened. It would be a journey. But we paid upfront, so the driver remained silent.

When we got to base, I almost cursed myself for not thinking about how we'd access all the areas.

But there was that mastercard. And they couldn't say no. They knew who I was, after all.

When we were in the gowning area, Jujubee and I helped each other into spacesuits. I was high with anticipation, ready to see what was on the other side, ready to do it all with Jujubee.

This was our dream.

Jujubee grabbed two helmets. One for her and one for me. She tossed it my way, and I caught it.

"Ready to go?" She asked.

"Absolutely." I extended my hand, and we made our way to the door.

The cold cool air was refreshing. My eyes travelled up and down the rocket. It was bigger than I imagined, and for a small second, I felt worthless. Like I was just Brianna Caldwell, a girl from a small town with no real purpose in this world.

But Jujubee slid her hand into mine. And I was reminded that all I had to do was shut my inner demons up. Because I did have a purpose. And I was something to someone. As long as I had her, that was all that mattered.

Jujubee smiled mischievously, pulling me along the bridge, leading me to the already opened door. She ducked down and climbed into the small space, and I followed.

It was disorientating at first, what with the rocket facing the sky. I feared I'd fall trying to get into my seat. But Jujubee continued to pull me along.

When we were seated, I wasted no time putting on my helmet and initiated the activation process.

I could feel Jujubee's smirk as I flicked at switches and pressed buttons. It only fueled my excitement.

A voice came through the radio, one of the engineers. We were bombarded with questions, demanding to know what we were doing, how it was too early for take off with no press to film it, all sorts of complaints.

But we didn't care.

When everything seemed ready to go, I put my hand on the lever. But before I pulled, I turned my head to her.

"Ready to see the flying horses?" I raised a brow.

"Just as ready as I am for the cats that bark." She breathed out a laugh through her nostrils.

With another smile, I pulled the lever. The ship was rumbling now, and my stomach was doing somersaults.

We both turned our attention to the sounds of protest from the engineers. They were livid now, shouting about how the media wasn't going to like this.

I lifted my hand up, flipping the source of the sound off. Jujubee cackled to my delight.

I put the intercom on mute. And the ship took off. Mom was gonna kill me for this. I'd definitely bring her back a gift. A new vase, maybe? Yeah. A vase from an entirely new world. Something new.

I looked forward, unable to see the ground below us. How high were we already? How long was left until we reached that crossover, the gateway?

My question was answered as the ship was illuminated by a bright light.

We did it, Grandpa. We did it.

[estrxlar]

The Ghost Of You

12 - Coincidence

This chapters songs:

Beach Bummer; No Vacation

Goodie Bag; Still Woozy

Sports; Beach Bunny

- Y. L. Perspective

I wasn't sure what to think when I had read the message aloud. "I want to talk." What could that possibly mean?

"Y/n, I'm sure you're just being dramatic. Maybe he just wangs to check up on how you've been doing, " Toruku suggests, sipping from his box of apple juice. The two of us sat against the brick wall on the outside of the cafeteria, discussing my issue. Giki and Hikishi couldn't join us for lunch because of school work that they had to finish up, and Suga had to meet his friends.

Ever since the party, the only thing that stuck to my mind was my situation with Koushi. But other than that, I had forgotten about certain things that happened. As an example, bumping into Oikawa. And as crazy as it was, the moment completely left my mind for a good five days. Until I got a message from him, saying, "I want to talk."

Oikawa, Toruku, Iwaizumi, and I have known each other ever since the beginning of junior high. The only reason we had separated was because of Moku's tragic death, and our schools. Toruku and I had decided to stick together and go to Karasuno, while Oikawa and Iwa felt their volleyball was more important than staying friends. But honestly, it wasn't that big of a deal. The older we grew, then we realized that we wouldn't stick with our middle school friends.

But what Oikawa had caused between the four of us is what made things awkward.

Around the summer of my first year of high school, we all subtly kept in touch with each other. But then after he had thrown a party around July a fight had broken out between him and Toruku because of me.

Oikawa was telling others cruel things in a group of people that were discussing school, lying about how I acted around him. That I had messed around with him, or how I was jealous of Moku for being with Toruku and took it out on Oikawa. But truth was that Oikawa was the one who liked me, and I never paid too much attention to him because of how guilty I felt for liking my best friend's boyfriend.

Iwaizumi, Oikawa, Toruku, and I all knew what Toru said were false claims that he only told for attention from other girls that he would talk to. Oikawa let his popularity get ahead of him, causing a ruckus to occur that day. The further he would go with these stories, the angrier Toruku and I had grown. Eventually, his mouth ran far enough to drive Toruku to punch him more than I had expected. Oikawa was all bark and no bite, therefore, he didn't fight back. That night is when Toruku and I had realized that we needed to move in from our past and find lives of our own. Ones that wouldn't have to ever run into the two obnoxious duo Oikawa and Iwaizumi.

So you could imagine my anger when seeing him at a party that didn't involve him.

"Uhm.." Toruku takes a bite out of his egg sandwich, munching while talking. "Just text him back! Say 'about what?' I bet that would get you answers."

I groan at his stupidity. Today wasn't the best day to have lunch with Toruku, but who else could relate to me as much as him? So, I do as I am suggested, texting back a simple reply and hoping it would lead me to the best possible outcome.

—

Oikawa

I want to talk

About what?

...

—

"Oh my god, he's typing," I say quickly, dropping any items in my hand to hold the phone in front of Toruku and me. He finishes his egg sandwich and crumbles the wrapper to throw into a bin not too far away from where we sat before crossing his arms in concentration.

It wasn't that I was excited to talk to Oikawa. I was nervous as to what he wanted to discuss with me. Other than school, there wasn't much to talk about with him. All I knew was that he turned into a jackass with an ego.

'What does he even wanna say?'

When my phone vibrated in my hands, I had thought my questions were answered. But only a simple reply was given to me.

—

Oikawa

I want to talk

About what?

I just want to see how you've been doing. How about lunch on Saturday?

—

Toruku frowns at the message. "Why would he want to have lunch after what happened?" He asks me. "Say you're busy." A protective tone overtakes him.

"Ok, ok."

—

Oikawa

I want to talk

About what?

I just want to see how you've been doing. How about lunch on Saturday?

I have a tight schedule, so I don't think I'm free that day.

Hmm

Sunday?

What would we talk about, Toru?

Honestly

I just wanted to see you again

You know, talk?

Mhm

But why? Soon it won't matter

Cause after I saw you on Saturday I realized I had some things to say

Please?

Okay

We'll figure something out

—

"Do you think he still likes you?" Toruku pops in.

"No, I don't think so. But I also haven't been able to see his development, so I wouldn't know," I reply to him. I could either ruin or glorify my relationship with him. That was a bet I wasn't sure I wanted to take. And not only that, but he also had beef with Toruku. Why didn't he ask him to lunch as well? Was it because he didn't run into him during the party?

Now I had yet again another thing to worry about. Right now, my current concern was my first volleyball practice this afternoon. Kiyoko had informed me that this weekend they were to have a practice game with one of the competitive teams. I wasn't sure if I would enjoy it or not, but I mine as well have given it a shot.

To be honest, I was a little bit excited. Not only would I be able to see Suga more than in the afternoon, but I could get to know the underclassman more. That was if they even liked me.

"Whatever. I don't need to be worrying about this right now," I tell Toruku as I get up from the wall to throw my trash away. He nods, tossing his trash in the basket as well, before picking up my bag and bento, handing it to me. "Thanks for having lunch with me."

"It's no issue. Just tell me how things go with texting Oikawa and have fun at practice."

"Sure thing."

-

I waited at the front of her classroom. By her, I mean the beauty herself: Kiyoko. She told me earlier that she would run through the rooms the volleyball club uses so that I could get familiar with where I'd be going every day I attended practice. I was in good hands when it came to Kiyoko, one of my very close friends.

Finally, her classroom door opens, followed by the many students held inside to flood the hallways, including Kiyoko. "Hey there!" She throws a hand over my shoulder as we begin walking to the exit of the hall. "You excited?"

"I guess. I'm more nervous than excited," I reply.

"Don't be. The boys are very sweet. If you'd like, I can try giving you a summary of what to expect!" She exclaims, her excitement practically glowing off of her skin.

Once I nod, Kiyoko begins her full explanation of the players. "Well, we have the three third years. Me, Sugawara, and Daichi! And you already know about us. And there are only four second years. There's Tanaka, Ennoshita, Kinoshita, and Narita. Tanaka is a loud person, but he's super hard working and nice to me, so I guess he's okay. As for Ennoshita, he doesn't talk very much, but I wouldn't be rough with him. He seems like the insecure type. And Narita and Kenoshita are like him, except a little more wild! They usually stay in the back of the crowd, though. Then there are the first years— man are they talented. We have this amazing pair of first years, Kageyama and Hinata. Hinata is so good at jumping, probably the best I've ever seen, and a very rowdy boy. Kageyama is usually a prick to everybody, but he's learning to be a team player. Then there is Tsukishima and Yamaguchi. They're pretty simple to predict. Tsuki just bosses around Yamaguchi all the time and they both talk crap about everybody, but they're good friends and good players."

I can't help but widen my eyes at how fast Kiyoko had explained the players. It was as if she had a lite notebook in the back of her mind where she stored every detail about them, knowing every word she wrote like the back of her hand. "...wow, so there's some personality in the team! That's good to hear," I say, taking a deep breath before we both leave the school building and make our way behind it. "I think I know about Kageyama, though. I went to middle school with him and my old friends that were on the team with him weren't very fond of him— but that's all I know. Sugawara just tells me that he's a very talented person, which doesn't say much about his persona."

"Oh yeah! How're things with Sugawara going?" Kiyoko has no hesitation to jump towards the subject. I couldn't blame her, though. It had been a while since we had a girl-on-girl chat.

Embarrassed, I chuckle, staring at the ground as we discuss. "Nothing much. I mean— he did ask me to be his girlfriend, and we made out a couple of times, but that's it!" I act as if the actions weren't such a huge thing.

Kiyoko gasped. "Y/n! You didn't tell me that you were so close to him, I would have teased you way more than I already do! You kissed him?! How many times? When—where?!"

"Shimizu, stop talking so loud!" I exclaimed, raising my brows as the girl pipes down. Kiyoko wasn't ever the type to get so rowdy about things, that is if it didn't have to do with romance. As for that, she was a downer. And if her friend was involved with it then she wouldn't stop with the blabber. "Anyway, after the party, we both spent the night in his car. We didn't do anything but make out. Still, it was so nice," I whine. "He was so gentle and confident at the same time, and I'd never had somebody want to kiss me so badly— y'know? After that, he took me home, and we both slept in my bed for a couple of hours. Once I woke up, he wasn't anywhere to be found. Only my cat and a letter were left on the pillow next to me."

"A letter?" She questions.

"Yeah, explaining his feelings—his feelings,

Shimizu! Isn't that so sweet?! He told me that he was in love with me and never felt so passionate about anybody the way he does with me. But the thing is, I'm not even sure I wanna be in a relationship. And it's hurting both of us. I think I'm just so confused about everything that I can't even make up a decision."

"Hm, that's understandable. It's a big surprise two of my friends are getting together without telling me! Especially since they're so in love with each other. But now you're saying you don't know what to say?" Kiyoko hums. "Well, from the way you talk about him, are you sure that you're not just scared? You seem like you're head over heels, Y/n. What's stopping you?"

Suddenly, a tall shadow stops us in our tracks, interrupting our conversation. "Yeah, what's stopping you?!" A deep voice says as Kiyoko nudges him.

"Daichi, you don't even know what we're talking about!" She says. It was no other than Sawamura, acting silly again.

He wore a black jumpsuit that I assumed was his volleyball uniform and white tennis shoes, topped off with his grin. "Hey, Y/n! You excited for practice?" He asks in enthusiasm, crossing his arms. If I was being honest, Daichi always scared me when confronting me, but I knew he had my back. Therefore, the goosebumps that crawled up my spine had disappeared once I settled into his smile.

"I mean... I'm a bit nervous. But yeah, I'm excited."

Daichi claps his large hands, then points towards a grey building that was only a few meters away from where we stood under the school roof. "Great! Kiyoko can lead you to the locker rooms and the team will meet you in the gym!"

I look to Kiyoko, who's nodding. "Sure thing. Let's go, Y/n." Her hand lightly pushes me towards the direction of the changing rooms.

Once we arrived at a certain locker room, Kiyoko showed me around the place. There were sixteen lockers on each side of the wall and two benches in the middle. Lots of different sports instruments were piled up in a corner, while a few bags were tossed in another. Overall, it seemed like a regular changing room.

"Here, you can use this locker here. No one ever does." Kiyoko points to an empty silver cubby. The others that surrounded it had posters and locker decor on them, telling me they were already claimed by other girls.

I open the locker, placing a few of my things in it like my bag, school vest and tie, and my shoes. After, I turn to Kiyoko, who's standing right behind me with a black bag in her hands. "Here, this is your new uniform. The team will take you more seriously if you have it on."

Taking the baggy, I pull open the zipper, revealing folded clothing inside. It was the same that Daichi had on earlier, except it didn't come with shorts and tennis shoes. Kiyoko told me that I would only need to bring some sport shoes and a white tee to wear under my sweater. "Thanks! Are you gonna be wearing one too?"

"Not today. My uniform is dirty, so I'll be using one from him. Don't worry, once the team is used to you, you'll be able to bend the rules a bit as I do. They don't care very much." She says as she makes her way towards her locker, pulling out a light lavender jumpsuit.

'Crap, does this mean I'm going to have to undress in front of other girls? That's gonna be awkward.' I tell myself, as I hid behind the door of my locker to pull down my skirt and quickly put on the black pants. I exchange my button-up for a comfortable white tee and black sweater, before taking off a few accessories that I had on and slip them into a pocket of my bag. After, I sat on the bench to trade my black long socks for some normal ones and tie on my shoes.

"Ready?" Kiyoko turns to me, fully dressed in her uniform.

"You bet."

-

I hadn't realized how awkward interrupting a practice was until the deed was done. It was sickening, embarrassing, and terrifying.

"Hi everybody," Kiyoko says in a soft tone, setting our bags down near the door while I avoided eye contact with anybody. That didn't help the fact that every one of the players was staring at us, sitting in a circle on the ground.

A loud, raspy voice echoed through the gym, interrupting the bitter silence that ate me up. "Hi, Kiyoko! How was your day today?" I glance up at the person who jogged towards us.  He had a huge smile and short buzz cut, already telling me that he was a rowdy one. "And as for you, welcome! You must be the new manager! I'm Ryonosuke Tanaka, one of the best players on this team!" He holds out a hand for me to shake.

'So this must be the second year Kiyoko told me about. Great, I like him already.' I think, bowing before shaking his hand. "I'm Y/n L/n, nice to meet you."

"Tanaka! Show some respect for your upperclassman, will you!" Daichi comments, coming up from behind him. "I'm sorry about him. He's a wild one."

"Oh, that's alright."

When Daichi realizes I'm comfortable enough to glance at the teammates, he quickly moves out of the way. "Oh—let me introduce you properly. Everybody, this is our new manager that Takeda Sensei told us about: Y/n! She's a third-year and is here to help out Kiyoko. She's friends with us third years too, so no funny business!" He looks towards Tanaka. "That means you, Tanaka!"

He yells out, "I—I was just being friendly!"

Daichi simply playfully rolls his eyes. "Why don't you first years come to introduce yourselves, hm?" He suggests as a few boys shuffle through the small crowd to get a better view of me.

"Hey! It's good to see you again, L/n! I'm Shoyo Hinata." He bows. I recognized him immediately when he approached me. The player was short for somebody on a volleyball team and had bright ginger hair that was rough and fluffy, and he practically radiated energy when I was near him. "I hope you have a great time on the team!"

After giving him a brief smile, I shift my eyes towards a pair of first-years that seemed suspicious of my presence in the club. But one of them stepped up to shake my hand and grin. He had brown yet green-tinted hair that appeared soft, and many freckles on his face. "Hi, I'm Tadashi Yamaguchi. A pleasure to meet you!" He cautiously nudges the tall boy next to him.

He rolls his eyes at the slightest, tossing the volleyball in his hands to the ground. "Hi, I'm Tsukishima." He says in a proud tone, bowing.

Then, I fixate my eyes on the boy who stood behind Hinata, staring intently at me. Once he notices that I had caught him, he began stuttering. "I—Uh...I'm Kageyama! Tobio Kageyama." The ravenette puffs up his chest, bowing towards me.

"Ah, yes! I know about you. Did you happen to go to Kitagawa Daiichi during middle school?" I ask, tilting my head to take a mental picture of him.

"Uh..yes. How did you know?"

"I used to hang around the volleyball club a lot and knew a bit about you. But I never would have thought you would go here!" I quickly realize how rude my response appeared. "Oh, crap! I didn't mean it like that."

He shakes his head violently, shutting down my apology. "It's no issue, Y/n! It's great that you know me— I mean— thank you for recognizing me," he says loudly, bowing once more. It became obvious that Kags was a bit nervous to meet me, but it wasn't anything threatening. His bright pink cheeks were more warming than scary.

"Well, Kageyama, it's great to see you again," I giggle. Then, three boys are seen in the corner of my eye, seeming eager to say their hellos. Taking initiative, I greet them. "Uh, hi guys."

"Hey!" They say, maneuvering towards me. The black-haired one shakes my hand first, squeezing it gently. "I'm Ennoshita. Pleased to meet you." Then comes the other two: one with a buzz cut, and the other with dirty blonde hair. "I—I'm Kenoshita! And this is Narita!" He points to the buzz cut boy. "We're all second years, by the way!"

Surprised by so many greetings, I can't help but hold my hands out in front of my face. "Oh— okay! Nice to meet you, too."

Somebody abruptly suggests, "Why don't you guys give her some space?" Knowing the voice too well to forget it, I grew excited. Sugawara had arrived, finally. I was looking forward to seeing him more than anybody else. "Hey, Y/n. Glad to have you," He says, secretly winking at me.

"Thank you."

-

"Let's talk positions for the practice game," Daichi commands, lifting a dry erase board to face everybody."Here's the plan I came up with."

The club was sat in a big circle on the court facing Daichi and Takeda. I accompanied them as well, pretending I knew what they were talking about.

"I'd like to have you two working as a pair." Daichi points to Kageyama and Hinata, who gave each other low growls. "And since Tsukishima is our tallest player, I think that would give us a benefit against Seijoh."

'Seijoh? Isn't that short for Aoba Johsai?' I think, raising my hand slightly. "Uh, so you guys are playing against Seijoh?"

Daichi nods. "Yes, Aoba Johsai. We have a practice game with them this week. They're a very strong team, so we need to be in our top game. Are you gonna be joining us..or?"

"Yeah, I will. I'm asking because I know a bit about the players on that team. If you'd like, I can give you guys some advice on their style."

"Wait! Why is Hinata in the one position that needs a tall guy?" Tanaka blurts, as he points towards Shoyos name that was written on the board. It stood in front of the net doodle, telling us he'd be playing as a blocker.

Hinata takes notice of this and grows annoyed. "You're saying Tsukishima and I are playing middle blockers?!" It seemed that he wasn't very fond of Tsuki.

"Timeout!" Takeda strikes the air with his hands, before reaching to his side to unfold a small handy book. "I think I need an overview of the positions.. let's start with the setter. That's the basic control tower— the ones who set people up for attacks. Then there are the wing spikers. They're the rounder that sort of.. maintains the balance between offense and defense. And middle blockers block the other teams' attacks and score points using quick attacks. They also act as a decoy to lead away from the opponent blockers! Is that right?" He asks, looking up to the team captain for reassurance.

He nods his head, putting his palms together. "There is a position that specializes in defense, but we don't need to worry about that right now. So far, that's the positions!"

"Well, Hinata should be the 'number one decoy'!" Kageyama quickly rises, looking towards the redhead. I look towards Kiyoko who is just as confused as me about what he blabbered. "Why don't we use you as a distraction to get points? We'll be using quick attacks, that way the other spikers can do some damage! You'll take down guys like Tsukishima and take them right down the garden path like the idiots they are." Kageyama spoke in a determined manner.

Yamaguchi defended the boy, saying, "Hey! Don't imply Tsuki's an idiot!" But is quickly shut down by Tsukishima, being told to shut up. "Oh.. sorry."

'These first years sure are interesting..and rude, if I'm being honest. Why is it that they're so bossy and demanding?' I say to myself, bringing my knees up and resting my head on them. Although we hadn't done anything physical, I was beginning to grow tired.

"Hinata, when we play, you better be on your best level! If you mess up even one bit, all of our attacks are gonna start to fall apart, got it?" Kageyama strikes Hinata, making him feel frightened and cornered.

"Come on, Kageyama. Hinata is already under a lot of pressure, why say things that make him feel bad?" I whisper to him, as he began to feel concerned for Shoyo.

Tanaka pats Hinatas back, attempting to calm him. "Yeah but- blocking is the most important thing here! No matter how high he can jump, he's still a shorty pants."

What he had told everybody started a riot between the players. Each of them argued about whether or not Hinata should be one of the middle blockers. As for the third years, we rubbed our foreheads in frustration. But it wasn't as if I could expect anything different from these boys.

"Don't you worry, Hinata. As long as you do your best, the team will be proud-"

"R-right! I promise I won't mess up!" Hinata perks up while his face turned a crimson color out of stress. "I'll block as much as you want me to and be the best decoy! I'll serve, I'll do attacks, I'll block! I'll do whatever you say, captain!"

Because of how anxious he grew, he dropped onto the gym floor not long after his rant, breathing heavily. Hinata had made it clear to me that volleyball was a very serious thing for him, and other players' opinions on him meant almost everything. But thank goodness, our third years reassured him that he would be just fine for the practice game.

From how much I'd seen, I thought that the club wasn't too much of an issue to attend to. That was if I wasn't helping first years get back up onto their feet after short-circuiting. Kiyoko had even told me that I did a great job on my first day at practice. So I was sure that I'd be a benefit to the team.

Now, my biggest concern was seeing Oikawa.

-

Comments and votes are super appreciated! Pls give me recognition for my chapters, I work so so so hard.

- sugawaras beauty mark☆

[estrxlar]

The Ghost Of You

11 - Volleyball Practice

This chapters songs:

Beach Bummer; No Vacation

Goodie Bag; Still Woozy

Sports; Beach Bunny

- Y. L. Perspective

I wasn't sure what to think when I had read the message aloud. "I want to talk." What could that possibly mean?

"Y/n, I'm sure you're just being dramatic. Maybe he just wangs to check up on how you've been doing, " Toruku suggests, sipping from his box of apple juice. The two of us sat against the brick wall on the outside of the cafeteria, discussing my issue. Giki and Hikishi couldn't join us for lunch because of school work that they had to finish up, and Suga had to meet his friends.

Ever since the party, the only thing that stuck to my mind was my situation with Koushi. But other than that, I had forgotten about certain things that happened. As an example, bumping into Oikawa. And as crazy as it was, the moment completely left my mind for a good five days. Until I got a message from him, saying, "I want to talk."

Oikawa, Toruku, Iwaizumi, and I have known each other ever since the beginning of junior high. The only reason we had separated was because of Moku's tragic death, and our schools. Toruku and I had decided to stick together and go to Karasuno, while Oikawa and Iwa felt their volleyball was more important than staying friends. But honestly, it wasn't that big of a deal. The older we grew, then we realized that we wouldn't stick with our middle school friends.

But what Oikawa had caused between the four of us is what made things awkward.

Around the summer of my first year of high school, we all subtly kept in touch with each other. But then after he had thrown a party around July a fight had broken out between him and Toruku because of me.

Oikawa was telling others cruel things in a group of people that were discussing school, lying about how I acted around him. That I had messed around with him, or how I was jealous of Moku for being with Toruku and took it out on Oikawa. But truth was that Oikawa was the one who liked me, and I never paid too much attention to him because of how guilty I felt for liking my best friend's boyfriend.

Iwaizumi, Oikawa, Toruku, and I all knew what Toru said were false claims that he only told for attention from other girls that he would talk to. Oikawa let his popularity get ahead of him, causing a ruckus to occur that day. The further he would go with these stories, the angrier Toruku and I had grown. Eventually, his mouth ran far enough to drive Toruku to punch him more than I had expected. Oikawa was all bark and no bite, therefore, he didn't fight back. That night is when Toruku and I had realized that we needed to move in from our past and find lives of our own. Ones that wouldn't have to ever run into the two obnoxious duo Oikawa and Iwaizumi.

So you could imagine my anger when seeing him at a party that didn't involve him.

"Uhm.." Toruku takes a bite out of his egg sandwich, munching while talking. "Just text him back! Say 'about what?' I bet that would get you answers."

I groan at his stupidity. Today wasn't the best day to have lunch with Toruku, but who else could relate to me as much as him? So, I do as I am suggested, texting back a simple reply and hoping it would lead me to the best possible outcome.

—

Oikawa

I want to talk

About what?

...

—

"Oh my god, he's typing," I say quickly, dropping any items in my hand to hold the phone in front of Toruku and me. He finishes his egg sandwich and crumbles the wrapper to throw into a bin not too far away from where we sat before crossing his arms in concentration.

It wasn't that I was excited to talk to Oikawa. I was nervous as to what he wanted to discuss with me. Other than school, there wasn't much to talk about with him. All I knew was that he turned into a jackass with an ego.

'What does he even wanna say?'

When my phone vibrated in my hands, I had thought my questions were answered. But only a simple reply was given to me.

—

Oikawa

I want to talk

About what?

I just want to see how you've been doing. How about lunch on Saturday?

—

Toruku frowns at the message. "Why would he want to have lunch after what happened?" He asks me. "Say you're busy." A protective tone overtakes him.

"Ok, ok."

—

Oikawa

I want to talk

About what?

I just want to see how you've been doing. How about lunch on Saturday?

I have a tight schedule, so I don't think I'm free that day.

Hmm

Sunday?

What would we talk about, Toru?

Honestly

I just wanted to see you again

You know, talk?

Mhm

But why? Soon it won't matter

Cause after I saw you on Saturday I realized I had some things to say

Please?

Okay

We'll figure something out

—

"Do you think he still likes you?" Toruku pops in.

"No, I don't think so. But I also haven't been able to see his development, so I wouldn't know," I reply to him. I could either ruin or glorify my relationship with him. That was a bet I wasn't sure I wanted to take. And not only that, but he also had beef with Toruku. Why didn't he ask him to lunch as well? Was it because he didn't run into him during the party?

Now I had yet again another thing to worry about. Right now, my current concern was my first volleyball practice this afternoon. Kiyoko had informed me that this weekend they were to have a practice game with one of the competitive teams. I wasn't sure if I would enjoy it or not, but I mine as well have given it a shot.

To be honest, I was a little bit excited. Not only would I be able to see Suga more than in the afternoon, but I could get to know the underclassman more. That was if they even liked me.

"Whatever. I don't need to be worrying about this right now," I tell Toruku as I get up from the wall to throw my trash away. He nods, tossing his trash in the basket as well, before picking up my bag and bento, handing it to me. "Thanks for having lunch with me."

"It's no issue. Just tell me how things go with texting Oikawa and have fun at practice."

"Sure thing."

-

I waited at the front of her classroom. By her, I mean the beauty herself: Kiyoko. She told me earlier that she would run through the rooms the volleyball club uses so that I could get familiar with where I'd be going every day I attended practice. I was in good hands when it came to Kiyoko, one of my very close friends.

Finally, her classroom door opens, followed by the many students held inside to flood the hallways, including Kiyoko. "Hey there!" She throws a hand over my shoulder as we begin walking to the exit of the hall. "You excited?"

"I guess. I'm more nervous than excited," I reply.

"Don't be. The boys are very sweet. If you'd like, I can try giving you a summary of what to expect!" She exclaims, her excitement practically glowing off of her skin.

Once I nod, Kiyoko begins her full explanation of the players. "Well, we have the three third years. Me, Sugawara, and Daichi! And you already know about us. And there are only four second years. There's Tanaka, Ennoshita, Kinoshita, and Narita. Tanaka is a loud person, but he's super hard working and nice to me, so I guess he's okay. As for Ennoshita, he doesn't talk very much, but I wouldn't be rough with him. He seems like the insecure type. And Narita and Kenoshita are like him, except a little more wild! They usually stay in the back of the crowd, though. Then there are the first years— man are they talented. We have this amazing pair of first years, Kageyama and Hinata. Hinata is so good at jumping, probably the best I've ever seen, and a very rowdy boy. Kageyama is usually a prick to everybody, but he's learning to be a team player. Then there is Tsukishima and Yamaguchi. They're pretty simple to predict. Tsuki just bosses around Yamaguchi all the time and they both talk crap about everybody, but they're good friends and good players."

I can't help but widen my eyes at how fast Kiyoko had explained the players. It was as if she had a lite notebook in the back of her mind where she stored every detail about them, knowing every word she wrote like the back of her hand. "...wow, so there's some personality in the team! That's good to hear," I say, taking a deep breath before we both leave the school building and make our way behind it. "I think I know about Kageyama, though. I went to middle school with him and my old friends that were on the team with him weren't very fond of him— but that's all I know. Sugawara just tells me that he's a very talented person, which doesn't say much about his persona."

"Oh yeah! How're things with Sugawara going?" Kiyoko has no hesitation to jump towards the subject. I couldn't blame her, though. It had been a while since we had a girl-on-girl chat.

Embarrassed, I chuckle, staring at the ground as we discuss. "Nothing much. I mean— he did ask me to be his girlfriend, and we made out a couple of times, but that's it!" I act as if the actions weren't such a huge thing.

Kiyoko gasped. "Y/n! You didn't tell me that you were so close to him, I would have teased you way more than I already do! You kissed him?! How many times? When—where?!"

"Shimizu, stop talking so loud!" I exclaimed, raising my brows as the girl pipes down. Kiyoko wasn't ever the type to get so rowdy about things, that is if it didn't have to do with romance. As for that, she was a downer. And if her friend was involved with it then she wouldn't stop with the blabber. "Anyway, after the party, we both spent the night in his car. We didn't do anything but make out. Still, it was so nice," I whine. "He was so gentle and confident at the same time, and I'd never had somebody want to kiss me so badly— y'know? After that, he took me home, and we both slept in my bed for a couple of hours. Once I woke up, he wasn't anywhere to be found. Only my cat and a letter were left on the pillow next to me."

"A letter?" She questions.

"Yeah, explaining his feelings—his feelings,

Shimizu! Isn't that so sweet?! He told me that he was in love with me and never felt so passionate about anybody the way he does with me. But the thing is, I'm not even sure I wanna be in a relationship. And it's hurting both of us. I think I'm just so confused about everything that I can't even make up a decision."

"Hm, that's understandable. It's a big surprise two of my friends are getting together without telling me! Especially since they're so in love with each other. But now you're saying you don't know what to say?" Kiyoko hums. "Well, from the way you talk about him, are you sure that you're not just scared? You seem like you're head over heels, Y/n. What's stopping you?"

Suddenly, a tall shadow stops us in our tracks, interrupting our conversation. "Yeah, what's stopping you?!" A deep voice says as Kiyoko nudges him.

"Daichi, you don't even know what we're talking about!" She says. It was no other than Sawamura, acting silly again.

He wore a black jumpsuit that I assumed was his volleyball uniform and white tennis shoes, topped off with his grin. "Hey, Y/n! You excited for practice?" He asks in enthusiasm, crossing his arms. If I was being honest, Daichi always scared me when confronting me, but I knew he had my back. Therefore, the goosebumps that crawled up my spine had disappeared once I settled into his smile.

"I mean... I'm a bit nervous. But yeah, I'm excited."

Daichi claps his large hands, then points towards a grey building that was only a few meters away from where we stood under the school roof. "Great! Kiyoko can lead you to the locker rooms and the team will meet you in the gym!"

I look to Kiyoko, who's nodding. "Sure thing. Let's go, Y/n." Her hand lightly pushes me towards the direction of the changing rooms.

Once we arrived at a certain locker room, Kiyoko showed me around the place. There were sixteen lockers on each side of the wall and two benches in the middle. Lots of different sports instruments were piled up in a corner, while a few bags were tossed in another. Overall, it seemed like a regular changing room.

"Here, you can use this locker here. No one ever does." Kiyoko points to an empty silver cubby. The others that surrounded it had posters and locker decor on them, telling me they were already claimed by other girls.

I open the locker, placing a few of my things in it like my bag, school vest and tie, and my shoes. After, I turn to Kiyoko, who's standing right behind me with a black bag in her hands. "Here, this is your new uniform. The team will take you more seriously if you have it on."

Taking the baggy, I pull open the zipper, revealing folded clothing inside. It was the same that Daichi had on earlier, except it didn't come with shorts and tennis shoes. Kiyoko told me that I would only need to bring some sport shoes and a white tee to wear under my sweater. "Thanks! Are you gonna be wearing one too?"

"Not today. My uniform is dirty, so I'll be using one from him. Don't worry, once the team is used to you, you'll be able to bend the rules a bit as I do. They don't care very much." She says as she makes her way towards her locker, pulling out a light lavender jumpsuit.

'Crap, does this mean I'm going to have to undress in front of other girls? That's gonna be awkward.' I tell myself, as I hid behind the door of my locker to pull down my skirt and quickly put on the black pants. I exchange my button-up for a comfortable white tee and black sweater, before taking off a few accessories that I had on and slip them into a pocket of my bag. After, I sat on the bench to trade my black long socks for some normal ones and tie on my shoes.

"Ready?" Kiyoko turns to me, fully dressed in her uniform.

"You bet."

-

I hadn't realized how awkward interrupting a practice was until the deed was done. It was sickening, embarrassing, and terrifying.

"Hi everybody," Kiyoko says in a soft tone, setting our bags down near the door while I avoided eye contact with anybody. That didn't help the fact that every one of the players was staring at us, sitting in a circle on the ground.

A loud, raspy voice echoed through the gym, interrupting the bitter silence that ate me up. "Hi, Kiyoko! How was your day today?" I glance up at the person who jogged towards us.  He had a huge smile and short buzz cut, already telling me that he was a rowdy one. "And as for you, welcome! You must be the new manager! I'm Ryonosuke Tanaka, one of the best players on this team!" He holds out a hand for me to shake.

'So this must be the second year Kiyoko told me about. Great, I like him already.' I think, bowing before shaking his hand. "I'm Y/n L/n, nice to meet you."

"Tanaka! Show some respect for your upperclassman, will you!" Daichi comments, coming up from behind him. "I'm sorry about him. He's a wild one."

"Oh, that's alright."

When Daichi realizes I'm comfortable enough to glance at the teammates, he quickly moves out of the way. "Oh—let me introduce you properly. Everybody, this is our new manager that Takeda Sensei told us about: Y/n! She's a third-year and is here to help out Kiyoko. She's friends with us third years too, so no funny business!" He looks towards Tanaka. "That means you, Tanaka!"

He yells out, "I—I was just being friendly!"

Daichi simply playfully rolls his eyes. "Why don't you first years come to introduce yourselves, hm?" He suggests as a few boys shuffle through the small crowd to get a better view of me.

"Hey! It's good to see you again, L/n! I'm Shoyo Hinata." He bows. I recognized him immediately when he approached me. The player was short for somebody on a volleyball team and had bright ginger hair that was rough and fluffy, and he practically radiated energy when I was near him. "I hope you have a great time on the team!"

After giving him a brief smile, I shift my eyes towards a pair of first-years that seemed suspicious of my presence in the club. But one of them stepped up to shake my hand and grin. He had brown yet green-tinted hair that appeared soft, and many freckles on his face. "Hi, I'm Tadashi Yamaguchi. A pleasure to meet you!" He cautiously nudges the tall boy next to him.

He rolls his eyes at the slightest, tossing the volleyball in his hands to the ground. "Hi, I'm Tsukishima." He says in a proud tone, bowing.

Then, I fixate my eyes on the boy who stood behind Hinata, staring intently at me. Once he notices that I had caught him, he began stuttering. "I—Uh...I'm Kageyama! Tobio Kageyama." The ravenette puffs up his chest, bowing towards me.

"Ah, yes! I know about you. Did you happen to go to Kitagawa Daiichi during middle school?" I ask, tilting my head to take a mental picture of him.

"Uh..yes. How did you know?"

"I used to hang around the volleyball club a lot and knew a bit about you. But I never would have thought you would go here!" I quickly realize how rude my response appeared. "Oh, crap! I didn't mean it like that."

He shakes his head violently, shutting down my apology. "It's no issue, Y/n! It's great that you know me— I mean— thank you for recognizing me," he says loudly, bowing once more. It became obvious that Kags was a bit nervous to meet me, but it wasn't anything threatening. His bright pink cheeks were more warming than scary.

"Well, Kageyama, it's great to see you again," I giggle. Then, three boys are seen in the corner of my eye, seeming eager to say their hellos. Taking initiative, I greet them. "Uh, hi guys."

"Hey!" They say, maneuvering towards me. The black-haired one shakes my hand first, squeezing it gently. "I'm Ennoshita. Pleased to meet you." Then comes the other two: one with a buzz cut, and the other with dirty blonde hair. "I—I'm Kenoshita! And this is Narita!" He points to the buzz cut boy. "We're all second years, by the way!"

Surprised by so many greetings, I can't help but hold my hands out in front of my face. "Oh— okay! Nice to meet you, too."

Somebody abruptly suggests, "Why don't you guys give her some space?" Knowing the voice too well to forget it, I grew excited. Sugawara had arrived, finally. I was looking forward to seeing him more than anybody else. "Hey, Y/n. Glad to have you," He says, secretly winking at me.

"Thank you."

-

"Let's talk positions for the practice game," Daichi commands, lifting a dry erase board to face everybody."Here's the plan I came up with."

The club was sat in a big circle on the court facing Daichi and Takeda. I accompanied them as well, pretending I knew what they were talking about.

"I'd like to have you two working as a pair." Daichi points to Kageyama and Hinata, who gave each other low growls. "And since Tsukishima is our tallest player, I think that would give us a benefit against Seijoh."

'Seijoh? Isn't that short for Aoba Johsai?' I think, raising my hand slightly. "Uh, so you guys are playing against Seijoh?"

Daichi nods. "Yes, Aoba Johsai. We have a practice game with them this week. They're a very strong team, so we need to be in our top game. Are you gonna be joining us..or?"

"Yeah, I will. I'm asking because I know a bit about the players on that team. If you'd like, I can give you guys some advice on their style."

"Wait! Why is Hinata in the one position that needs a tall guy?" Tanaka blurts, as he points towards Shoyos name that was written on the board. It stood in front of the net doodle, telling us he'd be playing as a blocker.

Hinata takes notice of this and grows annoyed. "You're saying Tsukishima and I are playing middle blockers?!" It seemed that he wasn't very fond of Tsuki.

"Timeout!" Takeda strikes the air with his hands, before reaching to his side to unfold a small handy book. "I think I need an overview of the positions.. let's start with the setter. That's the basic control tower— the ones who set people up for attacks. Then there are the wing spikers. They're the rounder that sort of.. maintains the balance between offense and defense. And middle blockers block the other teams' attacks and score points using quick attacks. They also act as a decoy to lead away from the opponent blockers! Is that right?" He asks, looking up to the team captain for reassurance.

He nods his head, putting his palms together. "There is a position that specializes in defense, but we don't need to worry about that right now. So far, that's the positions!"

"Well, Hinata should be the 'number one decoy'!" Kageyama quickly rises, looking towards the redhead. I look towards Kiyoko who is just as confused as me about what he blabbered. "Why don't we use you as a distraction to get points? We'll be using quick attacks, that way the other spikers can do some damage! You'll take down guys like Tsukishima and take them right down the garden path like the idiots they are." Kageyama spoke in a determined manner.

Yamaguchi defended the boy, saying, "Hey! Don't imply Tsuki's an idiot!" But is quickly shut down by Tsukishima, being told to shut up. "Oh.. sorry."

'These first years sure are interesting..and rude, if I'm being honest. Why is it that they're so bossy and demanding?' I say to myself, bringing my knees up and resting my head on them. Although we hadn't done anything physical, I was beginning to grow tired.

"Hinata, when we play, you better be on your best level! If you mess up even one bit, all of our attacks are gonna start to fall apart, got it?" Kageyama strikes Hinata, making him feel frightened and cornered.

"Come on, Kageyama. Hinata is already under a lot of pressure, why say things that make him feel bad?" I whisper to him, as he began to feel concerned for Shoyo.

Tanaka pats Hinatas back, attempting to calm him. "Yeah but- blocking is the most important thing here! No matter how high he can jump, he's still a shorty pants."

What he had told everybody started a riot between the players. Each of them argued about whether or not Hinata should be one of the middle blockers. As for the third years, we rubbed our foreheads in frustration. But it wasn't as if I could expect anything different from these boys.

"Don't you worry, Hinata. As long as you do your best, the team will be proud-"

"R-right! I promise I won't mess up!" Hinata perks up while his face turned a crimson color out of stress. "I'll block as much as you want me to and be the best decoy! I'll serve, I'll do attacks, I'll block! I'll do whatever you say, captain!"

Because of how anxious he grew, he dropped onto the gym floor not long after his rant, breathing heavily. Hinata had made it clear to me that volleyball was a very serious thing for him, and other players' opinions on him meant almost everything. But thank goodness, our third years reassured him that he would be just fine for the practice game.

From how much I'd seen, I thought that the club wasn't too much of an issue to attend to. That was if I wasn't helping first years get back up onto their feet after short-circuiting. Kiyoko had even told me that I did a great job on my first day at practice. So I was sure that I'd be a benefit to the team.

Now, my biggest concern was seeing Oikawa.

-

Comments and votes are super appreciated! Pls give me recognition for my chapters, I work so so so hard.

- sugawaras beauty mark☆