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slushycoookie · 4 months

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My Husband Has a Symbiote! Pt.5

Pt.1 ~ Pt.2 ~ Pt.3 ~ Pt.4 ~ Pt.5

Relationship: Miguel O'Hara x AFAB! Reader

Word Count: 3.2k

Content: Lactation kink, pregnancy sex, childbirth, MINORS DNI!!!

Summary: In the final stage of your pregnancy, you find out a new thing your husband likes.

A/N: This will be the "last" part of this mini-series. I'm leaving it open-ended just in case I have another one in me. But count this as complete! I appreciate anyone who's been reading! (And I totally forgot to make a tag list. I will do that next time I do a series.)

“Aww, you shouldn’t have!” You hold up the hundredth spider suit onesie designed for an infant.

Miles' small smile was something you couldn’t be upset at, “It's no problem. But there's more.” He points to the tissue paper, causing you to look deeper inside. You gasp at the hand-drawn baby book. It's colorful and bright with a story about how a young spider made her way to find her family.

“Miles! This is adorable.” You squeal with excitement, holding it up for Miguel who was watching from afar with a smile. You motion Miles over to proceed to kiss his face with gratitude. Miles accepts your appreciation before politely pulling away.

“You're welcome.”

“My turn!” Another spider jumped in with another present.

For some reason, you've never pictured yourself having a baby shower. At HQ, out of all places. Plenty at Spider Society wanted to give you gifts to celebrate the baby. Which mainly consisted of their spider merch for babies.

Others were thoughtful. Hobie gave you a few CDs of punk music for the baby. He said it was supposed to help with developmental growth. Pavitr and Gwen collaborated on buying some baby toys. It was mainly stuffed animals. Somehow you also noticed the stuffed version of their spider personas in there. And Margo gave a few video games that also helped the development of the baby. Although these weren't going to be used until your child was big enough to hold a controller.

You were ecstatic to have a large circle who loved and cared for you genuinely.

“Oh, you're…leaking.” A spider pointed out. You looked down and your blouse was getting stained by milk droplets from your breasts.

Miguel was immediately by your side with a few wipes, “We can stop if you want-”

“I'm ok.” You said, “It's just a little milk.” In fact, it's been happening occasionally throughout your third trimester. Milk staining your shirts, preparing for your baby. Your husband lingered by your side for a moment and you caught him glancing at your breasts. Probably out of concern.

After getting home from the baby shower, Miguel insisted you relax on the couch. Making you watch him carry endless boxes from the party through the portal, setting them inside the house.

“I guess we don't have to worry about getting baby clothes for a while, huh?” You joked, losing count on how many baby spider onesies you all received.

“I'm not having our daughter just wear clothes that look like spider suits.” Miguel sighed, looking amongst all the boxes. Trying to figure out where to put them. You stood, ready to come to his aid. “I got this, baby. Go sit and relax.”

“I've been sitting all day.” You reminded him. “I need something to do.” You picked up a marker and started to go through what was in each box and label it. The two of you agreed to keep a few boxes in the house and put the rest in the garage. ‘It's what they're for’ as your husband would say.

It was a comfortable silence while you two dove in the boxes. After spending all day surrounded by people who constantly congratulated you, giving you stuff you needed, it was nice to enjoy the quiet. You two were pretty much ready for the due date in a couple of weeks. Miguel was not going to stand being underprepared if he couldn’t help it.

The boxes were almost done, your husband paused and honed on your breasts. “It's happening again.”

“God.” You huffed, going to the nearest bathroom. Quickly grabbing some paper towels. You understood that you had to produce milk for your baby, but it was getting a little annoying.

“Shut up.” You heard your husband say. It caused you to peek out from the doorframe in question.

“What was that?”

“Nothing!” Miguel quickly said, “It's just Ravage.”

You blinked, decided to not indulge and went back to cleaning yourself up. You were actually surprised by Ravage's willing cooperation throughout your pregnancy. The alien was still insatiable though and you were hesitant at first. Once the doctor reported that you should expect to have a healthy pregnancy, the symbiote was on to have sex a lot. Not letting a baby bump stop them from getting what they want..

It was actually nice though since your hormones have been off the charts. If you even looked at Miguel, you'd get horny. Not caring where you were at all. As long as he fucked you.

“Need some help?”

Miguel asked, standing by the door with a washcloth in his hand. He closes the door to the bathroom to create some more privacy like you two didn’t have.

“It's ok.” You try to decline but he takes away the paper towels, tossing them in the trash.

“It's not. Let me.” He dabs the warm, damp cloth on your breast. A much better feeling than the coarse texture the paper towel gave. You didn’t protest, knowing he was going to care for you in any way he can. But you watched his eyes.

They were honed in on your breasts. As if he was under a spell. Enraptured by the rag soaking up the milk droplets from your nipples. You held your breath, worried that if a small gust escaped you, it would break him from his trance.

“I think you're good.” Miguel snaps himself out of it, shooting you a small smile.

“Are you okay?”

“I'm ok. Why?”

You weren't sure whether to bring up what you just saw. Maybe it was your hormones acting up again. “Nothing. Nevermind.” You reassure him with a kiss.

While getting ready for your due date, you wanted to get ahead on things. You spoke to Jess on some breastfeeding tips. You figured it would be a good idea to ask since you've been leaking every five minutes.

The spider woman helps you on how to hold the baby, demonstrating by holding the air. You were listening to what she was saying, but you wondered if it would be better to have a visual aid.

“I would show you with Gerry, but he's a bit old to be breastfeeding now.” Jess laughs, “But I think there's something that could help.”

She shows you the breastfeeding dolls. Designed to do exactly what the name says. A baby with its mouth partially opened, giving you ample amount of practice to hold your baby correctly while they're feeding. And you could customize the baby too.

You quickly bought one, excited when it arrived a few days later. You undressed your fake baby from the plastic, eager to try it out.

With the help of Jess’ advice and a few diagrams from the pamphlet that was with your baby, you practiced. Holding the child close to your chest, making sure the mouth was positioned correctly so your not real kid was fed. How convenient that while you were practicing, milk started to leak from your nipple again. Into your fake baby's mouth.

“What are you doing?”

You turn from your position on the couch to see your husband, back from work. His face twisted in question. “Practicing. Wanna see?”

“Practicing what?” Miguel hesitantly walks over, answering his question as he sees you and the fake baby. “You need to practice breastfeeding?”

You nod, still cradling the child in your arms. “I want to make sure I get it right. I don't want to mess it up.”

“You won't mess it up.” He sits beside you, “I know you won’t.”

“Thanks. But I just wanna make sure.” You go back to pretend feeding your baby. Miguel is still next to you, watching you practice. It wasn't weird, you figured he wants to see how it works.

“And you need a fake baby to practice?”

“Yes, Miguel.” You give him a quick kiss to make him hush and you think that works but…

“This baby doesn't have fangs. Our baby might.”

You purse your lips, “I know. We already talked about the genetic make-up of our kid.” It was concluded that there was a strong chance your daughter would have fangs and red eyes. Since the percentage of spider genes in your spouse was 50/50. But you didn’t care. You'd love your daughter if she had eight eyes.

“Then maybe you should practice with something that has fangs.”

Your brows furrowed in confusion, “The baby design options were not that detailed. And we don't know any babies with fangs. Not that I'm saying to steal a baby, I'm just-”

Miguel takes the fake baby from you, placing it behind himself. Your eyes follow his movements when he turns you to face him.

“I have fangs.”

You blink, “They retract.”

“So?”

“So, I'm not going to breastfeed you.”

“Why not?” He looks at your chest again, still exposed from your practice. Milk leaking out once more.

You force out a chuckle, “Mig, you don't want to drink from my boob.”

“I didn't say that. Why are you implying that I don't want to taste?” His thumb presses against your nipple, drops of milk pouring down his digit. “It's food that helps feed our baby. It's not dangerous or anything.

You bite your lip as he flicks your nipple to watch the milk pour out. You didn’t want to admit out loud that seeing him like this was sexy.

“Is this you or Ravage being like this?”

Miguel leans forward, his body right above yours, “This is me and Ravage.”

“Oh.” Your face starts to get hot, “How long have you two been like this?”

“Since you started leaking. I'm not proud of the unnecessary thoughts I've had.” He ducks his head in embarrassment. But you couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that your husband wants to suck on your tiddy.

“I don't mind.”

Miguel groaned, his hands gripping the couch. “Sure you don't. I feel like a…pervert.”

“You're not a pervert.” You reassure him by resting a hand on his cheek. “You're just…discovering something new.”

“That's putting it lightly.” Miguel starts to push away, shutting himself down from what he craved deep down. But you didn’t want him to make him feel ashamed. You wanted him to do it.

By taking his arm, you make him stay. Removing your shirt, ignoring the milk dripping down to the underside of your breast. You keep calm as Miguel’s eyes darken at the sight of you. Licking his lips at the sight of the liquid. “Do it. It's ok.”

He bends down after your permission, capturing a breast between his lips. Miguel sucks, his body rumbling at the taste of your milk. Because of your hormones, everything was dialed up to 11. The sensation of his lips on you was enough for your wetness to stir down below. An embarrassing whimper escapes you, while you clutch at him in need.

Miguel makes sure both of your breasts are tended to by licking a strip of excess milk up from your other breast. His groans fill the open space and your ears.

“You taste delicious.” He compliments after getting the remaining droplets from your skin. “Our baby will love it.”

You notice his bulge amongst his pants, “You're loving it too.”

Miguel’s hand dips inside past your sweatpants and underwear. The lightest touch amongst your folds makes you croon as he feels your wetness. “So are you.”

Miguel became relentless once he started tasting your breast milk. The two of you played it under the guise that you were practicing when this was nowhere near that. Whenever you two were alone and you started leaking, instead of using a tissue, he used his mouth. Collecting every ounce of milk that came from your nipple.

It was addicting.

Your husband taking turns with the symbiote, tongues lapping at your nipples, tasting every single drop. Satisfied for the day. Especially when it came during sex.

You wondered if your belly would be in the way but Miguel took care of that. Using his strength to make sure he did all of the work, not you.

He would secure you by gripping your thighs. Spreading your legs just right before lifting you up and sinking you down on his gigantic cock. You refrain him from taking his symbiote form while having sex during the last trimester, unsure if his larger length would affect the baby. But his normal body was more than enough.

You'd whine while taking him as he lazy thrusts up into you. His face buried in your chest as he did so. Sucking on any drop of milk, groaning with his movements. Your arousal coated his cock, easy for him to slip and slide right in. And then a sense of satisfaction waved over your body once you were finished.

You had to enjoy these moments while you still can.

Your due date was coming in a few days. In a perfect world, Miguel would stay by your side. Watching over you and ready to go once the big day arrived. Instead, there was an influx of anomalies popping up in different dimensions. Leaving your husband to take care of it.

Plans had to change. He connected his watch to yours so he'd be informed when you call him for the big moment. He promised to pick up right away. You noticed his annoyance of the change of plans, knowing he didn't like not being nearby while you were like this. But you took it in stride. Soon, your baby girl will be here in your world.

Miguel had to go once more, kissing you goodbye along with the usual spiel of what to do when your water breaks. You decided to do a once over the baby’s room for the fifth time this week. A wide range of emotions consumed you, from excitement to fear. You want to be a good caretaker for your daughter. But you didn’t want to mess it up. All the self-help parenting books in the world wouldn't help you with the real thing.

A strange rush of fluids went through your lower body, staining your pants and the floor in the baby's room. Did your water just break?

Sharp pains riddle your stomach as you lean on the crib for support. The baby was coming. You tried to call Miguel through your watch, taking slow, deep breaths. You weren't going to panic. You two had planned for this.

He wasn’t picking up.

You could hardly move. Any attempt committed shockwaves across your entire body. You can't have the baby here, by yourself in the baby room. So you called Lyla.

“Heyo! What can I do for ya-oh that's not good.” Lyla says while watching your hunched state.

“Where's my husband?”

The AI shows you a bunch of screens you couldn't understand at the moment. “Tech issue while on a mission. Margo and I are working on it but communication is currently difficult.”

“H-How long will it take?” You were hoping for a good answer, anything to soothe your worries.

“ETA is ten minutes for all communications to be back online.”

That was definitely something you were not looking for. “In ten minutes, I'll be having this baby-” You groan, a contraction hitting you. “I-Is it possible…to tell Miguel that our baby is coming?”

“I can but it'll be delayed. He won't get the message right away due to his location.”

“Would anyone get it at HQ?”

“Oh yeah, there’s no issues there.”

“Who's at Spider Society?”

Lyla did a scan. It was quick but in your current state, she took forever. “Ben is.”

“Will the message be delayed if you reach out to him?”

“No, he should get it instantly.”

You told Lyla to send messages to Miguel and his left-hand man. You knew your spouse was going to be upset that he missed the start of what would change both of your lives. But you don’t think you could wait for him any longer. With all the strength you could muster, you grab the baby bag and place it on your shoulder. It takes everything you can to maneuver to the living room so Ben could pick you up quickly.

To your relief he was there in a flash, blue eyes darting around to get a clear look at the situation.

“Hi, Benny.” You gave him a weary smile, “Can you get me to the hospital?”

He quickly nodded, putting the baby bag across his shoulders. “I can't wait to tell Miguel I came to the rescue. You think he'd give me a metal?”

“Maybe.” You pat his shoulder as he gently picks you up, positioning you tight as he goes through the portal.

Your husband made sure there was a maternity ward and a birthing center in the building. Making sure you get top-notch level care throughout your pregnancy. Right when Ben takes you in, Miguel picks right up.

“Are you okay? Lyla told me the baby's on the way.” Before you could answer, you whined, a contraction stopping your words completely. That was enough to answer his question. “I'm coming. Just breathe like in those exercises we saw, okay? Like this.”

He starts breathing through the watch in a certain rhythm and you follow it as your doctors put you in a room. You lean against the hospital bed, the nurses helping change you into a gown.

“I really need you here, Miggy.”

You didn’t want to admit that you were scared. You had nine months to overcome your fear but now that you’re facing it, you wanted him there.

“I'm coming. Don't worry.”

True to his word, Miguel is in the delivery room not long after. Still in his suit but instantly by your side. You felt much better by his presence, gripping his hand as the birth of your baby began.

The entire labor was eight hours. You were doped up with medication so you couldn’t tell. The trials and tribulations of pushing, Miguel holding your hand to help you through it all. Thank goodness for his spider strength. It was hell, you weren’t sure if you wanted to get pregnant again after this. But it was all worth it for your baby girl.

Gabriella was beautiful with her brown skin, gentle red eyes and curly brown hair. Almost a spitting image of her father. A person you two made together after going through constant efforts of conception.

Miguel wipes his eyes, unsuccessful at holding back tears of joy. “She's beautiful.” He kisses your daughter's head and then yours.

Ravage comes out, the symbiote getting a good look at the sleeping baby in awe. “She smells. Like baby powder.”

“She does.” You press your nose to your daughter’s head, taking in that new baby smell. “Thanks, Rav. For helping us have this baby.”

The alien gets taken back. You wanted to express your gratitude, knowing your baby wouldn’t be here without them. “You are welcome.”

“We’re not letting you babysit though.” Miguel says, making it clear.

“At least until Gabi's older.” You clarified.

Ravage hums, “Fine. As long as we can have intercourse again.”

Miguel fights the urge to pinch his nose while you giggle. “Of course. Don't worry about that.”

#miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o’hara x reader #miguel o hara x reader #miguel o'hara x you #miguel x reader #spiderman 2099 x reader #miguel o'hara smut #miguel fanfic #slushycoookie writes

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imaginesig · 2 months

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Documenting A Propsal

Paul Aron x Leclerc!Reader

Your engagement as documented by your brothers girlfriend.

I’m editing this while watching the Hungarian GP— Paul what are we doing?? This isn’t how we win championships?? Let’s come back better please

imessages

to Alex Saint Mleux

from Yn Leclerc

hey i was on instagram and im not able to see your account

Hey thats so weird

i just saw some stuff that insta is glitching

oh ok

it messes up all the time so im assuming this is one of those mass breaks

i guess your right

in that case can you let me know where you got that dress from your last post

the link is coming your way!!

alexandrasaintmleux (private)

liked by mama_leclerc, paularon_, charles_leclerc, and 123 others

alexandrasaintmleux: best part about dating someone with a little sister? She doesn't know she's getting proposed to in a week but I do!!!

tagged no one

mama_leclerc the sweetest!!! Just who my girl needs ❤️❤️

charles_leclerc she doesn’t know and I don’t know how to feel

Paularon_ thank you so much for agreeing to help!!

Alexandrasaintmleux planning on documenting the whole thing!! I hope she believes our lie and doesn’t find out she’s blocked 🤞🤞🤞

annaron_ I'm so unbelievably excited

alexandrasaintmleux same!! messaging you right now about a engament dinner theme

alexandrasaintmleux (private)

liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc, annaron_, and 184 others

alexandrasaintmleux: just some fine tuning!! Thank you @/maxverstappen1 for distracting her while we walked through the plan

tagged no one

maxverstappen I’m never taking her to play paddle again

Charles_leclerc she’s a bit competitive

arthur_leclerc and mean

lorenzotl and intense

paularon_ and scary

alexandrasaintmleux (private)

liked by charles_leclerc, mama_leclerc, paularon_, and 142 others

alexandrasaintmleux: since Paul can't post it, "last race as bf-gf"

tagged: no one

paularon_ ❤️❤️

mama_leclerc beautiful pictures ❤️❤️

arthur_leclerc I don’t like how this makes me feel 😭

annaron_ crying

alexandrasaintmleux (private)

liked by nailartist, charles_leclerc, Francisca.cgomez, and 281 others

alexandrasaintmleux: wonderful job by @/nailartist!! Our girl is all photo ready 💅

tagged: no one

nailartist it was a honor to do these special nails!! They’re gonna be gorgeous with the bling 💍💍

alexandrasaintmleux thank you!!!

mama_leclerc I love the matching nails!!

Charles_leclerc beautiful

Alexandrasaintmleux ❤️❤️

Alexandrasaintmleux (private)

liked by charles_leclerc, arthur_leclerc, lorenzotl, and 182 others

alexandrasaintmleux: first, a sister date (plus Leo) and now off to her special night!!

tagged: no one

fransica.cgomez so so excited!!

charles_leclerc im not ready

arthur_leclerc me either

Lorenzotl we can still stop them, steal the boat

alexandrasaintmleux who are you acting so big and bad for?? All of you cried when Paul told you he was proposing

charles_leclerc I was exposed by my own girlfriend 😭😭

alexandrasaintmleux (private)

liked by charles_leclerc, mama_leclerc, lorenzotl, and 173 others

alexandrasaintmleux: floral dinner party to celebrate 🩵

tagged: no one

charles_leclerc you’ve done a wonderful job planning and setting this up!!

mama_leclerc thank you sweet girl for all the work and time you’ve put into making this so special for Y/n!! Not only have you helped guide Paul and make his plans come to life, you planned a wonderful event to celebrate in a way Y/n will love!!!

alexandrasaintmleux 😭❤️❤️

Lorenzotl the floral theme came to life

annaaron_ we plan a great celebration!!

alexandrasaintmleux i say we start a bussiness

Alexandrasaintmleux posted a story

Caption: she said yes!!! My beautiful bride to be 🫶💍✨

Replies

ynleclerc

I’m crying I love you!!!!

Omg I just stalked your account, that’s so sweet😭😭

It was Paul’s idea to document everything but he couldn’t post it

You’re the best 🥹🥹

I love you baby sis

I love you too Alex

ynleclerc

Liked by charlie_leclerc, alexandrasaintmleux, paularon_, and 837, 948 others

ynleclerc: good time to say I have a crush on him??

Tagged: paularon_

Paularon_ 🩵🩵

arthur_leclerc can't you be normal

ynleclerc Paul wants me despite my quirks

Arthur_leclerc quirks?? girl thats mental illness

alexandreasaintmleux my gorgeous gorgeous bride to be!!

ynleclerc you are the best🫶💋

Charles_leclerc I cried the whole time you guys were gone

ynleclerc awww char 🫶

lorenzotl I love you baby sis

ynleclerc i love you too

comments have been limited

paularon_

Liked by aronralf, annaaron_, ynleclerc, and 823,928 others

Paularon_: my forever date 🩵

Tagged: ynleclerc

ynleclerc forever and always

annaaron_ i cant wait for a sister in law

paularon_ im scared for what you two can will get into

aronralf so proud! Congrats!!

paularon_ thank you!!

charles_leclerc the plan was perfect

arthur_leclerc you really know our sister

paularon_ i'd like to think so

comments have been limited

#f2 #formula 2 #f2 x reader #formula 2 imagine #f1 #f1 imagines #formula 1 imagine #formula 1 smau #formula 1 imagines #f1 imagine #f2 smau #formula 2 smau #formula 2 x reader #paul aron fic #paul aron fluff #paul aron x reader #paul aron #paul aron smau

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so-much-for-the-seashells · 2 months

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The Fun Kind of Sparring Pt. 2

Soldier Boy (The Boys) x Reader

(Aka minors do NOT interact with this post)

A/N: Sooooooo… did ya miss me?? Heh. My down stairs brain has been exercised, that’s for sure. Took five but now I’m trying to change lives 💪

Anyways, as always, all interaction, especially commentary/tags, is extremely appreciated! It really makes my day to hear that people like what I’m putting out there.

Content Warning: 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️ If you thought the last one was diddle-that-skittle-worthy, this one… I think I’m going to need to take a cold shower. I mean, my man doesn’t stop talking. I will say he’s really sweet to the reader. A few things he says sound more like him in canon, but overall he’s really sweet. Look, guys, life is lifing rn so I just needed a sweet hot old man to talk me through it 🤷‍♀️

****************************************************

Previously on The Fun Kind of Sparring

"Good girl," he praises, and it's all I can do not to keen. I have to be soaked through my shorts by now, there's no way. "Well, what l'd do next... that's simple. I'd fuck her until she cried, and then I'd keep going. And I'd keep going until the only thing she can remember is my name, until she's gooey and clingy and a sweet little fucked out thing, all for me," he finishes, his grin from before returning back to his face. I'm losing it. I can't think straight. And yet- he's still waiting for me to make the first move. Son of a bitch.

"O-okay," I clear my throat, unable to find my senses. "And if that hypothetical girl was me?" We both know it's me, I just need to hear it.

"Well in that case I think l'd be the luckiest bastard who ever lived," he says sincerely, looking at me with a gaze that can only be described as pure adoration and lust. Yep. That's it for me. I lean up and kiss him with as much force as I can muster.

A strand of spit connects our lips when we part, and if I hadn’t heard him say all those dirty things I’d think it was the most erotic thing imaginable. It’s certainly a close second, though.

He crashes his lips back to mine once the strand breaks, demanding access that I could never be strong enough not to give. He explores my mouth with great fervor, silencing the small whimpers and whines trying to tear themselves from my throat. Once he’s sure I’m breathless he moves down, planting a row of kisses to my jaw before kissing down my neck, biting and sucking dark marks at the juncture of my neck and shoulder.

But through the lust induced haze that’s already clouding my brain I can only remember one thing.

“Uh, Ben?” my voice is unrecognizable, breathy and high.

“Yeah?” He says into my collarbone where he’s been leaving more love bites.

“What about you? Don’t you get to come in the story?”

“Oh, you’re sweet on me, huh, baby? Don’t you worry about me sweet girl, that’ll come later- no pun intended.”

“Oh, okay,” I mumble, tugging him up by the hair so I can kiss him again. “I could kiss you forever,” I say. And it sounds stupid, but his plush pink lips are just too good to be true.

“That can be arranged, sweetheart,” he smirks, leaning down to kiss me again. There’s just no feeling like it. I reach for the hem of his grey sweatpants, but he grunts, pulling away. I look at him, eyes wide with confusion.

“Sugar, as much as I’d love to give some sad sap the chance of walking in on this, I think it’s better we move this to my room.”

“Oh, okay,” I concede.

“Trust me,” he says, almost… shifty? Whatever. I’m too horny to decipher his gaze at the moment. I let him all but pick me up off the floor, and I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror embellished wall: my face is sweaty and splotchy, hair already a wreck, hickies everywhere on my neck and shoulders. Holy hell. I haven’t even gotten laid yet, and I look like I went nine rounds in a porno. Motherfucker. Me-fucker, in a minute. Good god.

“I think I’m an artist,” he says smugly from behind me, admiring the blues and purples on my neck and shoulders, and catching my gaze in the mirror. He presses his bulge to my ass, at which I gasp. He’s huge. I can already tell. How the fuck does he even-? I don’t even know how I’m going to finish that question.

“C’mon sweetheart, my room ain’t far.”

“Okay,” I mumble, stuck on the absent feeling of his bulge against me. “But the floor was so hot,” I pout.

“Don’t I know it, sweets,” he grins. “But I’ve got big plans for you, if you remember.”

I moan softly at the memory of his dirty words

“Attagirl.” The shit eating grin from before is right back on his face. “Now c’mon, sweets,” he tugs my hand in his, practically dragging me out of the gym. Before I know it I’m laying on my back in his soft bed, him over me. He somehow kisses me both soft and slow, and rough and fast, and it’s almost impossible to breath. Especially as he adds more to the canvas he’s made of my body.

“Can I?” he asks, tugging at the hem of my shirt. I nod, and pulls it up over my head, obviously enjoying what he finds under it.

“Of course my pretty girl has pretty tits too, I shouldn’t even be surprised, but”-he kisses the tops of each of my breasts-“damn, baby.”

I blush at his praise, unable to help myself. “Can I take off this cute little bra?” he asks.

“Mhm,” I say, hoping that he’ll just rip it off. But instead of being raucous he gently unclasps it from behind, teasing it off of me. He trails lower with his lips, lavishing my breasts in attention that leaves them perky and alert once he leaves them for my stomach.

I can’t help but start giggling at the feeling of his scratchy beard on my stomach as he continues his trek of kisses and such southward. “What’s funny?” he asks, obviously amused by my laughter. I can only giggle harder because he seems to catch on, now intentionally scratching at me with it. He starts kissing lower and lower, and eventually my giggles dissolve into moans as he nips at the juncture of my thigh and pelvis.

“So sweet,” he mumbles, tugging at the waist band of my shorts. He pulls both them and my underwear off in one go. “Oh, sweets,” he breathes. “You this wet all for me?”

I squeak, unable to respond to the dark, lust-filled look in his eyes as he asks. Thankfully the question is rhetorical, because my brain is already starting to get fuzzy.

He gingerly pulls off my shoes and socks, before pressing featherlight kisses to and massaging up my left leg. Just as he reaches my sopping heat does he stop, biting the squishy flesh of the inside of my thigh before returning back down on my right leg.

“Ben,” I whine impatiently, unsure of how much more of this teasing I can take before I just come without him doing anything.

He just tuts at me before continuing his ministrations. And good grief does he know what buttons to press, because my legs already feel like jello in his hands.

Finally he bites my other thigh, and I’m all but shaking with how eager I am for him to do something, anything to me. And he seems to be more than happy to comply.

“Listen, if you tell me to stop, I’ll stop,” he says roughly, sincerely, as his cheek rests against the inside of my thigh.

“O-okay?” I say, my tone far past breathy.

“That’s my girl,” he grins before diving in.

It’s like nothing I’ve felt before. It feels like he’s lit orgasmic fireworks, like far too much and not enough all at once, like… it’s fucking inexplainable. Especially while I’m physically squirming from how good it feels, while he only needs one big hand splayed over my stomach to keep me down. I couldn’t even tell you what I’m moaning between the incoherent mess of his one syllable name and the whines he’s pulling out of me.

It’s incredible. And he’s so methodical, so good at it. Eighty odd years of experience will do it to you I guess, but this is like, next level.

And before I know it my stomach is tightening in on itself, and I try to warn him. I really do. But he doesn’t even need me to warn him. Instead he takes his hand off my stomach and places both on either of my thighs, locking me in place around his head. And before I know it, his tongue thrusting in and out of me and his nose and facial hair rubbing on my clit have me coming with a loud cry of his name. I’m physically shaking by the end of it from how he continues to fuck me through it, lapping up every last drop.

The thing about Ben is that he does everything with great fervor. Passion, really, except he thinks that’s too feminine a word. There just has to be a certain exceptionality to the way he does things. When he snorts a line of coke, the line had better be four times longer than anyone else’s. When he performed back in the day, it had to be more grandiose than Queen, more ostentatious than Madonna. When he eats pussy, it has to be fucking leagues ahead of any other man or woman in the entire world.

And man oh man does he deliver. I think I come again, but it’s hard to tell from how intense the initial orgasm was and how fuzzy the overstimulation is making my brain. But he eventually pulls back, once again resting his stubbled cheek on the inside of my thigh, my come glistening on his jaw and mouth. It’s a sight of debauchery in its purest-or should I say filthiest- form. I’m panting, trying to ground myself as he smugly smirks at me, his greens eyes sparkling like cut emeralds.

“Y’like that, sweetheart?” he asks, knowing damn well I do. And yes, he’s cocky as fuck, but… he’s not wrong.

“Yes,” I mumble.

“Good girl,” and at that I clench around nothing. And he does not fail to notice.

“Aww, my sweet girl likes being a good girl,” he observes, languidly running a knuckle through my folds. I gasp, and he chuckles. “Easy.”

He surprises me by thrusting one finger in- and like he said, it wouldn’t do much with how wet I was. So he gives me a second, and I start to feel it, especially when he hits my g-spot on every languid thrust, eliciting tinny moans from me. The tinny moans get louder when he starts scissoring his fingers inside of me, opening me up as far as he sees fit. “Gotta get you ready for me,” he explains, spitting on his other hand before brining his thumb to my clit. I’m beyond fucked once the rough pad of his thumb meets my sensitive bud, gasping his name and arching my back.

“You’re taking ‘em so well, sweet girl. Gonna give you another,” he tells me before adding a third finger and rubbing on my clit even faster. I barely last three minutes of this before I come for the second-third?- time with a weak cry of his name, still ready for more. I’m flustered from how easy it was to make me come, and his words certainly don’t soothe my blush.

“Oh, look at this pretty pussy gushin’ f’me, she’s too good to me,” he groans, slowly thrusting his fingers in and out to prolong my bliss. “Aww sweet girl, why’re you embarrassed, huh? I think my new favorite color is pink cause of your sweet cheeks. My pretty girl, my perfect girl.”

My mind is so fuzzy. Ben- Soldier Boy- is literally praising me whereas he calls anyone else a disappointment or a whore. And he’s making me feel so good, not only because of the incredible sex but with the way he’s treating me.

He kisses me again before he stands up, and I can taste myself on him. I don’t mind though, because his lips, his tongue… I can hardly account for my senses, much less comprehend the taste of myself. He stares at me and finally takes the waistband of his sweatpants in his hands. I can’t help the way my jaw drops as he finally pulls them and his boxers down, and naturally he gives me his signature smirk.

The bottom line is that he’s even bigger than I had thought earlier. Like, this is a size I thought only dildos came in, not the real thing. It’s long, it’s thick, and it’s rock hard. His eyes are trained on mine, so naturally he catches me gaping and laughs. Jackass.

“You know that not all of that is going to fit, right?” I ask, a little nervous.

“We’ll see about that,” he says, cocksure. I can’t help but gulp involuntarily, but once he brings his lips back down to mine I’m right back into my whipped frenzy, pouting and following his lips like a puppy when he pulls away, rummaging in his bedside drawer but talking all the while.

“Don’t worry, m’gonna give you what you want, just gotta ease you into it, okay? Ain’t gonna treat you like a loosened whore, I could never. My sweet girl. Didn’t bring you in here for nothing, wanted this.” He holds up a small bottle, and that’s when I get it. He needed the damn lube. That’s why he wanted to come back here. Not a big connection, but for someone who’s ready to let him doin all sorts of unspeakable things to her and thank him for it, it’s a revolutionary revelation.

“Oh-oh,” I say, my voice breaking when I watch him fist himself a few times.

“Gonna make it feel so good for you,” he mumbles, rubbing a generous amount of lube up and down his length. As if it hasn’t already been beyond good. “Tell you what, baby, I want you to ride me, just to start. Y’can adjust on your own time, take it as slow as you need, okay sweet girl? ‘Cause if I’m on top… I don’t think I can make any promises.” At least he’s honest. The horny part of me wants him to just go ahead and rail me within an inch of my life, but the small, annoying, rational part of me recognizes how huge he is. He sits down next to me on the bed, comfortably resting against the pilos and the headboard. His legs are splayed, showing off the endearing curve to them.

It takes a lot out of my already fucked out self to move two inches and straddle him, but I do. He smiles, genuinely smiles, and I can’t help but smile back.

“Take it easy, sweet girl,” he tells me. “We’ve got all night. You just take all the time you need.” I’m so turned on by how sweet he is, I genuinely can’t even help it.

“Okay,” I mumble, reaching for his cock, feeling it in my hands. It’s just a little thicker than the grip of one of my hands- definitely thicker than anything I’ve ever had, but not as scary as I thought. I rub the leaking precum over his tip, because even though he’s already poured a more than generous amount of lube on himself I can’t be too sure. Not to mention the delicious gasps he’s making at every touch are enough to just do this for the next six hours.

But finally, finally I’m ready. I position myself over it, my arms encircling Ben’s wide, freckled shoulders.

And then I slowly, ever so slowly sink down on the tip. We both moan at the newfound sensation, and I physically have to stop for a second. He’s just so big. All of him is, from his ego to his overall stature, but inside me? He’s huge, and the stretch is beyond satiating.

“You okay, sweets?” he asks, recovering quicker than me.

“Yeah,” I whisper.

“Good girl,” he kisses me on the lips. The distraction of the kiss lets me move more comfortably down his length. I make it a little bit more before I have to stop again. “You’re squeezing me so good, this pussy was made for me,” he groans when I stop, and I hide my own noises into the crook of his shoulder.

“Ben?” I mumble.

“Yeah?”

“I need help,” I whine, keeping my face hidden to hide my embarrassment.

“Aww, sweetpea,” he lets out a small laugh despite himself, furthering my angry red blush. “C’mere, look at me,” I do as he says, my thighs sore from keeping me up as I do so.

“No need to be embarrassed with me, sugar,” he says softly, before bring my lips to his, a big hand cupping the side of my head. I barely notice his other hand on my hip until he slowly starts guiding me down on him, lifting me up and down where I’m and pushing me down further and further as he does so. He muffles my whimpers and whines into the kiss, kissing me so long that I forget what it’s like to breathe.

Once he’s bottomed out and I’m properly seated on his lap does he pull away, letting me moan as loud as I need to.

“How do you feel?” he asks, his own voice strained.

“Full,” I mumble, because it’s true. He’s so all consuming in this moment, all I can concentrate on is how he fills me to the brim.

He twitches inside of me at that, his brow furrowed.

“What’s wrong?” I ask.

“Nothin’ baby, you just can’t be throwing around words like that,” he groans.

“You asked,” I protest.

“I know,” he retorts, kissing me again. After a few moments of sitting there on his lap, I tell him I’m ready to move a little.

“You need help, sweets?” he asks, giving me a knowing look. And I want to say no, that much is probably written on my face. Want to show him that I’m capable of bouncing on his enormous cock, but I sincerely don’t think I am.

“Maybe,” I concede sheepishly.

“That’s okay, baby,” he smiles gently, grabbing me by the hips. He slowly lifts me up his length, and I can feel my walls trying to contract around him as he moves me up, clenching him like a vice. A soft groan leaves his lips whilst various whimpers leave mine.

He keeps this gentle pace, so slow that I can feel every single inch of him slide in and slip out. Slowly the burn from the initial stretch disipates into pure pleasure that leaves me whispering his name every time he bottoms out. But eventually it’s not enough, because the thoughts of his promises creep into my empty mind, his promises of fucking me. Until I cry, until I can only remember his name and nothing else.

“Ben,” I mumble, my head still resting in the crook of his neck as he eases me up and down. “I’m ready.”

“Ready for what, pretty girl?”

Jackass. He knows damn well what, I can hear it in his voice. “I don’t want to say it,” I whine. He pulls me back so we’re eye to eye, resting me on his lap.

“I think you’re gonna have to,” he’s grinning ear to ear.

I pout, my hands resting on his chest.

“C’mon baby,” he prods, thumbing my lower lip. I take his thumb into my mouth, sucking on it. It clearly takes a lot out of him to take his finger out of my mouth, he seems to be turned on by the action.

“Fine. I want you to fuck me,” I tell him, crossing my arms.

“You’re lucky I like you so much. If anyone else were acting this bratty with me I think I’d have to teach them a lesson,” he smirks, the cocky promise clear in his eyes. Before I can retort he slips out of me, and I whine at the emptiness. I don’t like it.

Thankfully I don’t have to wait long because he lays me down, resting over me in a plank just as he was when we were “sparring.”

“Y’trust me?” His thumb comes up to meet my pulse point, his other fingers grazing across the bitten flesh of the juncture of my neck and shoulder, creating the most delicious sting. I nod frantically. “Words, baby.”

“Yes,” I whisper. His presses down barely a fraction harder, and yet it’s already enough to set me off even while being empty.

“I need you to promise me something, gorgeous,” he says, making the most intense eye contact I’ve ever seen from him.

“Okay,” I whisper.

“If you need me to stop, you tell me, okay?” His eyes are slightly wide, indicating how important to him this is. It’s easy to say: “Okay,” he has all of my trust. I kiss him for good measure, and we’re back. Fireworks gone off again halfway through as I take initiative to deepen the kiss before he can. But it doesn’t matter, because he’s stronger and so all consuming, and before I know it my mind is blank again. Blank and wanting one thing: him.

He gets up and I whine, not wanting him away from him. “Miss me already? My clingy girl,” he says affectionately, grabbing a pillow and putting it under my hips, kissing my stomach.

Settling above me once again, he lifts my legs up so that my ankles are resting on his shoulders, nearly bending me in half. But I let him, I’ll be as malleable ad he needs me to be if it’ll help him deliver on those promises.

“You sure you want this, sweets? Last chance to back out,” he tells me. I can’t believe he has the audacity to let the thought of me wanting to back out cross his mind. I’ve never wanted anyone more than I want him.

“I’m so sure. Fuck me, please,” I tell him. This is the strongest my voice has been this far, and I think he gets the memo.

“As you wish,” he grins, before sheathing himself in me in one go. I scream his name, but the noise is cut off by all air leaving my body as he thrusts into me at a literal superhuman pace. The sounds are ungodly, with every thrust a broken moan and the occasional grunt from him. He finds my g-spot with ease, slamming into it with every thrust ad he pounds me into his mattress.

“You sounds so pretty, maybe we should look into making one of those Internet videos.” I moan at the idea. I didn’t think starring in a porno would be my thing until he and his transatlantic 1950s accent suggested it.

“Yeah, everyone would want a piece of this pussy. But she’s all mine,” those last three words are punctuated with particularly hard, possessive thrusts that leave me gasping his name.

He brings his hand up to my throat once more, and the moment his thumb grazes my pulse point as it did before I realize just how much I want to come. “You like that, huh. Such a good girl,” I clench around him as he presses light pressure to my throat, and even though he’s not even done anything with my clit and it’s been maybe two minutes I’m coming hard and all-consumingly. It washes over me in waves that match Ben’s pace, seemingly getting more intense as he keeps fucking me.

“Oh sweetheart, you look so gorgeous when you make a mess of my dick. I’m hopin’ to see that five more times before the end of the night,” he tells me, but I barely hear him, too engulfed in my pleasure. He somehow adjusts the pillow under me while continuing his incessant pace and his grip on my throat and the new angle has me crying from how good it is.

“Aww, what’s the matter sweets?” he coos, knowing damn well what the matter is. It’s just too good.

“You’re so deep,” I sob, unable to gain my bearings because of how full I feel.

“Don’t I know it,” he groans, going impossibly harder. Eventually he takes his hand from my throat, and I whine, until he brings it down to my clit.

“Make it a good one, beautiful,” he winks with a click of his tongue before skillfully rubbing circles into my sensitive bud.

“Ben, it’s too much-,” I protest, but all it takes is a few more circles and I’m coming undone around him again. I’m both hyperaware of my tears soaking my face and the burn from the position of my legs but also on the verge of unconsciousness with how good it all feels. My legs are quivering around him but he doesn’t seem to mind.

“You’re okay, sweet girl, taking it so well,” he mumbles against my lips, kissing away my tears. I’d never had a lay so good that the guy had to reassure me that I was okay because I was shaking and crying uncontrollably from just how good it was. But then again, prior to tonight, I’d never had a lay with Ben.

He quickly brings me to the edge again, his fingers fast on my clit and his thrusts deeper than ever. When I come I can’t say his name, I can’t say much of anything because my mind is blank. Fuzzy, syrupy, I feel almost soft while the only noises I can make are little whimpers as he just keeps going. And I fucking love it.

“‘m gonna come,” he warns, and I muster enough of my bearings to tell him ‘please.’ He gladly obliges, coming with a loud grunt of my name, bottoming out so far inside me that he may damn well be in my cervix. I can feel it leaking out of me, and even in my fucked out stupor I can remember to moan. It’s the hottest feeling I’ve ever felt. He slowly pulls out then, gently easing my legs down.

I look up at him with questioning eyes, wondering why he doesn’t go for another three like he was planning to.

“Don’t want to break you on the first night, sugar,” he says, sweetly cupping my face in his hands. “I know you don’t feel it right now but you’re gonna be real sore in a couple hours.”

I pout, unsure of how to react to that. My legs are still shaking and while I do feel tired I’m still turned on.

Okay, maybe there’s dull ache.

“Oh, don’t pout. There’s other nights, and I’m gonna take care of you,” he smiles softly.

“Okay,” I whisper, finally regaining enough sense to talk.

He leans down to kiss me, softly this time. I melt into the kiss, and that’s when I realize: I don’t just want Ben. I think the feelings might be deeper. Maybe I… love? him.

But hey. There’s other nights.

****************************************************

As a bonus, cause I love y’all: if we can get 250 notes on this post by the end of the poll time then I will do a spicy soldier boy fic with whichever of these gets the most votes. If we can somehow get to 400 I’ll do the top two! No kink shaming, okay? 🥹🎀

In the meantime, if you want more Soldier Boy try Taming the Supe!! <3

For fans of Big Sky!Jensen, part two of 2SC (aka my favorite project thus far) should be coming out next!

And don’t forget, asks/requests/thoughts/thots are always open!!

#soldier boy #soldier boy smut #soldier boy x reader #soldier boy x you #soldier boy x y/n #soldier boy fanfiction #the boys smut #jensen fucking ackles

180 notes · View notes

jexnkookie · 2 months

Text

The Law of Attraction (Lawyer! Jung Kook x Reader) [Part 7]

Story Synopsis: Throughout his life, Jung Kook has only ever loved one girl. Despite her being out of his league and of an elite class that he wasn't born into, he fell hard, keeping his feelings a closely guarded secret. When they parted ways, and Jung Kook pursued his law career, he did so with the intent of moving on. But when she unexpectedly arrives back into his life, Jung Kook finds himself once again face to face with his own insecurities, and the girl of his dreams.

Story Rating: M (18+) [Language, sex, depression, alcoholism]

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Smut

Characters/Pairings: Lawyer! Jung Kook x Reader (feat. Jimin x Reader)

Chapter Word Count: 3k

Author's Note: I know I always say this, but I am very excited for this part! lol I hope y'all like it! Also, if I forgot to tag you in the taglist, or if you'd like to be added, please let me know! I try to add people as they ask, but I'm afraid I'll miss someone. So just let me know! Thanks!

Taglist: @cassies-cookies @crisle19 @jk-190811 @khadeeeeej @kooklovee @lalataegi @lallataegi @parkinglot-nights @rispwr @taetaecatboy @whoa-jo @11thenightwemet11

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Series Masterlist

“How are you feeling about today?” Namjoon asked his client.

Jimin was standing with you in the lobby of the courthouse, dressed in his best Ralph Lauren suit, keeping your hand in his. You sported a long-sleeve baby blue pencil dress from Versace that belted around the waist, with a pair of beige Louboutin heels. You chose your outfit knowing that the press would be there that day, and you wanted to appear put together and presentable for your fiancé’s case. Standing by him, with your engagement ring proudly shining on your finger, you could see the cameras outside through the lobby windows, snapping photos that will undoubtedly be front page news tomorrow. You understood fully that the direction the day goes would determine so much; the Park family name, the perception of Jimin as incoming CEO of the company, and most importantly, your future together.

“I’m ok.” Jimin replied, gripping your hand, before turning to look at your face. “How are you feeling, my love?”

“I’m ok, too.” You offered a sweet smile. Composed.

“We’ll get through this.” Namjoon said. “I can’t imagine Judge Harmon being more difficult than he has to be.”

“How is he? As a judge?” Jimin asks.

“No bullshit, but fair.” Namjoon replied. “He’s worked in the city a long time, and he’s seen it all. But as long as he can see that you’re trying, he’s fair.”

Namjoon glanced at his phone, checking the time.

“We need to go in there, it’s our time.” Namjoon said. “Ms. Y/L/N, thank you for having your statement ready for me this morning.”

“Of course.” You responded, squeezing Jimin’s hand. “Anything to make this easier.”

Jimin smiled sadly at your words. He wished it were easier; he wished the situation weren’t so difficult on you. He felt like a liar to your families, and to himself. He knew he’s already failed so many times in taking care of you, loving you, and giving you the life he knows you deserve. Yet here you were, dignified as always, standing by him in front of the world’s attention. He didn’t deserve you, and for the first time, he truly understood that deeply. But he was thankful that you were there nonetheless, holding his hand.

The four of you walked down the hallway together, and you gave Jimin a quick kiss for luck before slipping away with Jung Kook into the public, gallery seats in the court room, behind Namjoon and Jimin’s council table. The court was empty otherwise, except for the other legal team at their table, as the judge ordered prior to that no cameras were to be inside for this brief decision.

“All rise for the honorable Judge Joseph Harmon.” The bailiff announced, leading everyone in the room to stand while the judge entered, taking his seat at the bench. “You may be seated.”

“Mr. Park,” Judge Harmon began, looking up from his glasses to the young heir. “It seems your council is asking for a deferral on your case today. Is that correct?”

“Yes, your honor.” Jimin answered.

“Your honor, my client is asking for a minimum ninety day deferral, in order to seek rehabilitation treatment.” Namjoon began. “We request to submit a treatment plan to the court, as well as a personal character statement written by the defendant’s fiancé.”

“Very well.” Judge Harmon nodded, allowing the bailiff to take the paper work from Namjoon and bring it to him. The court was silent as he looked through the documents quickly. “And, why must the defendant miss his upcoming court dates for this? Could he not be escorted to and from the court during those dates, and return once the day is over?”

“Your honor, it would be against the suggestion of his therapy team to remove Mr. Park from his in-person support for long hours at a time.” Namjoon reasoned. “His team, as well as Ms. Y/L/N, have requested in writing that Mr. Park focus solely on his health before his dates, as any distraction may disturb his treatment plan.”

“Your honor,” The opposing lawyer spoke up, her tone annoyed. “Calling this case a ‘distraction’ is insulting to those who Mr. Park misled and defrauded out of their investments. I would argue that Mr. Park is attempting to delay this case in order to lower his chances of facing any consequences for his actions.”

“If I may, your honor,” Namjoon responded, “I can assure the court that Mr. Park is not delaying consequences, as we feel that we have a strong case against these allegations. My client is simply doing the responsible thing; doing right by his family, his business, and his wife-to-be, by seeking immediate help for his addiction and behavior.”

“And what behavior would that be, Mr. Kim?” The judge asked. Jimin shot Namjoon a wide-eyed panicked look, not wanting to reveal his private fight with you.

You became nervous, as well. Jung Kook knowingly reached for your hand, and was surprised when you took it, locking your fingers with his for support. I’m right here, Y/N, he said to himself, as if you could hear his thoughts.

“Emotional management courses, your honor.” Namjoon replied. “It’s standard practice for someone on this treatment path, as outlined by his recovery team.”

“I see.” Judge Harmon said, looking at the blonde heir. Jimin was sitting upright, in perfect posture, trying to keep his composure under the weight of the judge’s look. “Mr. Park, I believe it may be best for you to seek treatment before we continue with the case. The court is granting you the request for a ninety-day deferral to focus on your health.”

“Thank you, your honor.” Namjoon smiled, looking over at a very relieved Jimin. The prosecution lawyer rolled her eyes and tsked in disbelief, but Namjoon paid it no mind.

Jimin turned around to give you a smile, and Jung Kook mentally thanked his luck that your fiancé didn’t see his hand in yours from where he was sitting, because Jung Kook wasn’t at all ready to let you go; to let you leave his hold, and run back to him. But Jung Kook knew he had to, as much as it hurt him. He knew, despite his heart begging at him to keep you close, that you weren’t his to hold on to.

————————————————————————————————————

Namjoon brought you and Jimin back to your hotel room to help Jimin pack for his treatment, while Jung Kook retreated back to his office for the rest of the day. When you arrived at the suite, bottles were still scattered among the tables, floors and counters, reminding you of all of the terrible nights, not just the most recent incident, where Jimin had crossed the line. All of the times he messed up, not keeping his promise that he whispered to you that night in front of your families.

“Mr. Kim,” Jimin called out to Namjoon from the bedroom, who was gathering Jimin’s clothes from the closet nearby. “Would you be alright with leaving Y/N and I for the afternoon? My driver will make sure I’m on time for my check-in, I just… I’d like to have some private time with her.”

“Of course, Mr. Park.” Namjoon said, bowing respectfully. “If either of you need anything, please don't hesitate to call.”

“Thank you.” Jimin said, waving to him on his way out, before turning to you.

You were picking up empty bottles with a sadness in your eyes that Jimin never, in his life, wanted to see again.

“Hi, my love.” Jimin said as gently as he could, approaching you. He could see that sadness so clearly the closer he came, and saw just how deep in truly ran. “Honey, come here. I wanna talk to you.”

You nodded, and reached out for his hand. Jimin led you to the bedroom, and sat you on the bed before bending down on the floor by your legs to look up at you, making you giggle.

“Jiminie, what are you doing?” You laughed, earning a smile from your fiancé.

“Jiminie? Honey, you haven’t called me that in so long.” He replied. “I just wanted to look at you, my love, and I wanted to ask what my pretty girl is thinking about.”

“I… I don’t wanna fight anymore.” You replied, your voice so quickly turning soft in exhaustion and sadness.

“There won’t be any fighting today.” He said, rubbing his hands up your legs in comfort. “Tell me what’s on your mind.”

“I’m just tired.” You responded truthfully. “I’m so tired, baby. I can’t… I don’t know what to do…”

“Shhhh, I know.” Jimin said gently, looking at your face as you spoke. He could see it from the dark circles under your eyes, and the dullness of your skin. “I know I haven’t made things easy on you, and I’m sorry honey. You must be so worried all the time, right? Not sleeping or eating much?”

You nodded to confirm. “Jung Kook made japchae, and that was the first full dish I’ve eaten in a while.”

Jimin smiled unconvincingly, hating to know that another man took care of you in the way he should’ve.

“I’m glad you ate well, my love.” He said diplomatically. “When I’m in treatment, I want you to you sleep and eat well every day, ok? And I want you to tell me if you need anything at all. ”

“Baby, I’ll be ok.” You smiled, delicately keeping your composure. “It’s only for a short time, right? You need to focus on getting better, not on my needs. Besides, Jung Kook is there, just in case. I won’t be alone.”

“Yeah.” Jimin nodded, trying to keep his protectiveness and jealousy under control. “But listen, honey, I mean it. If you need or want anything, you can come to me, ok? I want you to come to me.”

“Ok.” You nodded.

Jimin gazed up at you for a moment longer, unsure if you really meant it, because knowing you, you’ll do things yourself or ask someone else before him, just to make sure he focuses on himself. You knew that giving you things was Jimin’s way of feeling adequate. A manicure, a new bag or dress, a nice meal at a nice place, a beautiful vacation, amazing sex. Jimin felt needed and secure as a man when he gave you these things. But what Jimin didn’t realize, was that you needed something that was somehow both more, and so simple. You only needed him to be ok, and to prove that he can be a stable partner for you.

After a few moments of committing your features to memory, etching them into his mind, Jimin wrapped a hand around each of your ankles, and began kissing up your exposed legs, distracting you from your thoughts. Softly, slowly moving up your skin with his plush pink lips, making you giggle in surprise.

“Jimin!” You laughed sweetly.

“Let me make you feel good, honey.” He said, his voice deepening as he moves up your legs, lifting your dress. “Gonna use my tongue just how you like it.”

He continued to pull your dress up as he moved, keeping himself on his knees, nibbling and kissing your thighs until he reached your lace panties. He kissed you over the fabric, teasing you with just enough pressure and tongue to make you whimper in anticipation.

“Jimin, please…” You begged, running your fingers through his blonde locks.

“Angel, this sweet little pussy’s so wet for me already.” He murmured, moving your lace to the side with one finger. “Such a needy girl, so easy to get your pretty pussy excited.”

He gave you wet, soft kisses along your opening, nibbling delicately on the skin, making your throw your head back and pick up your breathing. Then, his tongue, pressing quick kitten licks at your clit, which had already peeked out to seek attention.

“J-Jimin…” You whined, gripping his hair as he continued to alternate between speed and pressure, licking and sucking, burying himself between your thighs. He slid a finger, then two, moving them in and out, and curling them to caress your sensitive spot. “Baby… Baby… Please… Baby…”

You had no idea what exactly you were begging him for, with your mind emptying alongside each movement. You knew it was a distraction; a moment of pleasure in a sea of pain that you’ve tasted many times before. But for now, you’d let his familiar touch melt your worries away once again. A few more moments of careful attention had your toes curling and your hands pulling his hair as you came with a cry. .

You let him move you up further onto the bed, so that he could undo his pants and drop them to his knees, to let his hard, sensitive length spring out. He slid fully into you with a possessive growl, and began to fuck you hard, making the hotel bed, and yourself, squeak just as you did the first night you stayed here.

Each movement was a strong cocktail of loving passion, pleasureful distraction, and begging apology, mixed with a lingering sense of his sense of possession. Jimin locked his lips to your neck, and engraved you with shallow marks as he whispered in your ear, “My pretty girl… Fuck, my sweet angel… My girl, taking my cock so well… F-Fuck…. All mine… ”

It was a clear reminder, whispered to you through your whines as you let pleasure consume you once more, feeling his thumb massage your clit; Parks got what they wanted, and Jimin intended on keeping it that way. His mistakes could always be fixed with the swipe of a card, some sweet words, or a good, loving touch between your thighs. But as his thrusts became more sloppy and shallow, so too did his promises, when he pulled out and spilled onto you, ignoring his vow to finish inside and be closer to you.

It was a moment of realization, as you lay there looking at his beautiful face, that no matter how seemingly hard he would try, he would always be Jimin. Flaws and all. The way he showed love, the increasingly obvious emptiness of his commitments, the circles he takes your heart in. He will always be that version of himself, because it is the only version of himself.

As he kissed your neck and whispered “I love you”, you wondered, for the first time, if those words, and that love, would ever truly be enough.

——————————————————————————————————

You went with Jimin to the rehabilitation center, and after a teary goodbye, you had the driver take you to Jung Kook’s apartment. He was waiting for you in the living room, only able to imagine the emotional day you had. He had rehearsed over and over again what to say, to give you the comfort and love he knew that you needed. But when you walked in with tears, his mind blanked, and the only thing he could think to ask was, “What do you need?”

“I… I don’t know.” You said softly, unsure of so many things.

Jung Kook looked at you with sad brown eyes, walked towards you, and replied, “I think what you need, is a hug. C’mere.”

As he wrapped his arms around you, he realized he couldn’t have offered anything better. You clung to him like a float in a crashing ocean, desperate for a moment of calm. He wanted to provide that for you, so he held you close, hoping it could somehow meld the leftover pieces back together. Or, at the very least, remind you that you never had to pick them back up alone.

He hoped you understood that later that night, when he heard you speaking to your father on a video call in the guest room. Jung Kook wanted to give you privacy, but when he heard the angry tone of your father, he couldn’t help but overhear through the thin wall between the bedrooms.

“So Jimin is in treatment right now?”

“Yes, Appa.” You responded, nervously picking at your nails. “I think he’ll be better afterwards. He just needs some time.”

“Y/N,” Your father sighed. “I don’t like that you’re dealing with this again. How many more times are you going to have to go through this with him?”

“He’s really trying.” You said sadly. “He’s not a bad person.”

“I know he’s not a bad person, sweetie.” You father said, trying to reason with you. “But I think he may be ‘bad’ for you. I don’t know, I’m just worried about you. Are you by yourself now, in a new city?”

“No, Appa. I’m staying with Jung Kook.” You said. “He works with Mr. Kim, and I used to go to university with him. He’s been very sweet to me, you would like him if you met him.”

Jung Kook couldn’t help but smile at your words, but still held on to what your father said. Jimin’s not a bad person, but he’s bad for you. Your own father having doubts about your engagement was not something he expected to hear, but he shouldn’t say he was all that surprised. You deserved more.

When he heard you say your goodbyes, his thoughts were interrupted, and he began to scroll through his phone as he laid on his bed, pretending as though he hadn’t heard your conversation.

“Hi.” You said after a few moments, with a knock on his bedroom door. “I think I’m going to bed.”

“I’m sure you’re tired. It’s been a hard day.” Jung Kook responded, watching you turn around. “Hey, Y/N.”

“Yeah?” You asked, turning around towards him once more.

“I’m off tomorrow.” He smiled. “Let me show you some cool places in the city.”

“Jung Kook, you don’t have to do that-”

“I want to.” He replied. “Please? I think I… um, it can make you feel better.”

You smiled at his sentiment, ignoring the charming slip of his words.

“Ok.” You agreed, giving in to the brown, puppy eyes of the man who looked so soft in his bed. “It’ll be fun.”

“Yeah.” He smiled. "I think so, too."

“Goodnight.” You waved, turning away from him.

Jung Kook’s eyes widened, watching your hand wave him good night. Something was different, missing, that was clearly there before your conversation with your father. It made his heart drop to his stomach, and his mind buzz for the rest of the night.

Your engagement ring was gone.

#jungkook fluff #jungkook #jungkook imagine #jungkook angst #jungkook smut #jungkook fic #bts #bts fanfic #bts fic #jungkook x y/n #jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #the law of attraction #lawyer!jungkook #jimin x reader #jimin x you #jimin x y/n #jimin fanfic #jimin fic

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myg-butterfly · 1 year

Text

Nothing New

Ot7! BTS x Choreographer! Reader (Seokjin x Reader focused)

Summary: You get hurt and have to find a replacement. You just didn't think that replacement extended to your relationship with the BTS members. Will they still want you when you're nothing new?

Tags: ANGST (sorry), eventual fluff, Injured!Reader, Fem!Reader, Bangtan are kind of assholes, this isn't really proofread sorry, I also don't know how this shit actually works with Idol groups so I'm just making shit up lolsies.

A/N: HI omg sorry this took FOREVER. I was gonna have this done this weekend but we went to go visit family so I put this aside omg, but it's finalllyyyy here! I hope this lives up to your expectations. Thank you for all the love on the teaser, and remember, comments and feedback are always soooo appreciated!

Taglist: @bangteezbaby @thelilbutifulthings @hoshi-is-ult-bbg @juju-227592 @kikz165 @plexcaffeinate

All the members had just gotten home from rehearsal, and immediately went to find you just so they could throw silly little tantrums about you not being there.

The way they were pouting reminded you more of kicked puppies than world-wide sensations.

"It's fine guys, I know someone who can cover for me until I get better."

"But we like your choreography better." Taehyung whines into your shoulder and you pat his head in comfort.

"It's just a month or two, Tae."

You had broken your leg about a week ago, and consequently, you couldn't continue choreographing for the group until you were fully healed.

Which meant either the boys paused their learning, or you brought someone else in to cover for you - and you're all aware that pausing isn't really an option.

"But I'll miss you." Your boyfriends were overly dramatic, acting like you were leaving even though you all lived together.

"You'll still see me at home, it's not like I'm dropping off the face of the earth."

He huffs into your shoulder and rolls over so he's sitting next to you normally now.

"Anyway, how have you been? Have you felt okay?" Seokjin sits down on the other side of you and you feel yourself growing a bit shy under his caring stare.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

•••

"Hi! Thank you so much for covering for me. We're on a reall-"

"Save it, it's whatever. I always told you you'd need my help again at some point."

You don't like the implications in her tone but you pass it off with a small chuckle.

"Okay, so they already know 2 out of the 5 numbers for this album, and we were in the middle of learning the 3rd one. I taught it to Hoseok in advance so he can take over for that one. So you wouldn't need to be at the studio until next week. I'll send you the videos I took of the foundation of the other 2 numbers so you can learn it and then teach it."

She looked so uninterested in what you were saying, but you had to be professional.

You called her here in the first place.

"Kay, cool, got it. Also, can I get the guys' numbers? You know, just in case."

"Oh uhm, you can ask them when you see them next week… I'm not sure if they want me giving out their numbers to people they don't really know."

"Well they're gonna know me soon right? Don't be greedy, trying to keep all of them to yourself."

She giggles but you can feel that it's not really one of genuine giddiness and you hope that your discomfort isn't apparent.

"I'll ask them when I see them later today."

You plaster on the best smile you can and she gives you an equally forced one back.

"Okay. Bye!"

She basically struts away and you're left standing there; maybe calling her was the wrong move.

•••

Yep. Calling her was probably the wrong move. But it depends on which side of Y/N you ask.

On the professional side, this is absolutely great. They hit it off right away, all the boys growing comfortable with her rather quick (something HYBE valued a lot), and she was great at her job. Talented, bold, confident, friendly, the whole package.

On a more personal side, this was putting you on edge. How suddenly, all the guys would talk about was 'Joanna said this a rehearsal' or 'Joanna invited us out to eat'. It was always Joanna this Joanna that, and you knew they were just excited to have a new friend, to have someone who shares their passion, you couldn't help but wonder if their feelings for you were simply out of excitement. And now that you're not the newest thing around, would they still want you? Would they still talk about you with the same sparkle in their eyes as they do with Joanna? It left a pit in your chest.

And — yeah, calling her was the definitely the wrong move.

Finally, a long-awaited date with all of you. They were filled with energy, talking and joking on the ride there, and you felt your heart growing lighter, you still had them.

They even helped you get off the car with all the gentleness in the world, helped you get in your seat and made sure you were completely comfortable.

The lightness quickly weighed down into something much heavier when you saw Joanna walk in and make her way to the table.

And the weight felt like it had been dropped to you feet when the guys scooted to make space for her, Namjoon even standing up to hug her and letting her sit first so she'd be in between him and Jungkook.

How long has it been since they hugged you with such happiness?

"Oh my god, Y/N, hi! The boys didn't tell me you would be here."

Something about the way she said "the boys" made your hands itch, almost as much as your throat itched to say 'likewise'.

"Welp. I'm here. Haha."

Dinner wasn't fun, to say the least.

Joanna was blatantly saying shit to embarrass you the entire time, and it even worse, your boyfriends seemed to be soaking up her every word, laughing whenever she pointed out something embarrassing about you when she knew you in high school.

"Yeah! And when we choreographed together, she would always forget her parts." She lets out a giggle and Hoseok laughs too: what's so funny?

"It was only once or twice." You groan, mostly to yourself, but Joanna hears it.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night."

Everyone laughs at her words again and suddenly, you start to think that staying home was the better option.

"I've always said she has the memory of a goldfish. Sometimes it felt like I was doing all the work because i constantly had to step in and help when Y/N froze up."

She turns to you when she speaks her next question:

"How are you doing now that I haven't been here to clean up after you? Are you making Jimin do it?" She laughs and nudges Jimin, who's sitting next to her, on the shoulder, and he happily shoves back with a bright smile on her face.

"I'm fine, it's rare that I forget stuff lately."

She gasps in a dramatic manner, you wish she would just disappear already.

"You? Not wasting time in rehearsal? Because you forgot? That's unheard of!"

You hate the way pretty much all of the guys laugh at her words: they know how much work you've put into being a good choreographer. Why were they laughing at you?

Suddenly, you feel the person next to you pressing up closer against you: Seokjin.

You look at him and he has a soft smile on his face, but not towards Joanna; his entire focus is on you.

"You have a really good memory darling. We can tell you've worked on it." The knot in your stomach softens its grip after hearing Seokjin's words, and for the first time since you got here, your smile is genuine.

"Anyways, how'd you injure yourself?"

"Oh, we were doing some cardio and I tripped. Fell at an awkward angle and it twisted my leg. Haha."

Joanna laughs a little too hard at this.

"I've always also said that for a supposed dancer you sure are clumsy as hell."

Some of the guys giggle at her comment, and you look down at your lap: why were they laughing at you?

Out of the corner of your eye, you see Seokjin sit up a little straighter, and you suspect he's gonna say something.

"Supposed dancer?" He raised a brow and to most people, it would've seemed like he was just egging onto the joke, but you and the rest of the table could tell that there was a serious undertone to his question.

It was no secret in your relationship with the guys that Seokjin had a specific soft spot for you – in a relationship as big as yours, its bound that all of you will have your weak spots for one another: Jungkook and Namjoon, Jimin and Taehyung, Hoseok and Yoongi, you and Seokjin.

So you were more than relieved when he met your gaze from across the table; he knew you were uncomfortable.

And as everyone knows, he's not one to stay quiet.

"I just mean it's surprising that for someone so clumsy she went into the professional world where coordination is crucial."

Jungkook uses this point to tease Namjoon, and thankfully the attention is taken off of you. You catch Seokjin's stare again and this time it's accompanied with an apologetic smile and him reaching out his hand to hold yours.

As your hands meet on top of the table, you seem to be the only one who notices the look Joanna sends you at the display of affection.

•••

More days pass by and everyday they get home later and later until you're left going to bed on your own.

You'd made it a habit to wait for each other if one was out late, but it didn't happen often since you had almost the same working hours and when you went out, it was usually altogether.

You'd tried to keep that habit after your injury, but they were coming home later everyday, and you weren't sure you had it in you to keep staying up for them.

Especially on nights like this one, where when they do get home, you're dismissed almost entirely.

The door opens and you sit up, ready to greet them one by one with a hug and kiss, but most of them just mumble a "hey" or "hi Y/N" and walk straight to their rooms.

Only Jungkook and Seokjin genuinely acknowledge you, Jungkook giving you a hug and a peck on the forehead accompanied by a soft "Hi baby." before going to his room as well.

Seokjin also hugs you, but he picks you up while doing so: shifting you in his arms so he can carry you to bed with him.

As he begins to walk, your eyes meet and he sends a soft smile your way.

You barely start to relax in his hold when you realize that he's walking into your room, and you slightly panic at the thought that he's going to leave you alone in there.

Your slight panic turns into franticness as he sets you down and steps away from the bed.

"No! Don't-" Jin whips around at the sound of your voice, and you feel immediate guilt when you see his startled expression.

"Sorry, I- I know you're tired. Sorry, you can go."

Your attempts to decrease his worry don't seem to work, because he's already making his way back towards your bed.

"No, no. What happened? Whats wrong?"

"Its nothing." Seokjin gives you a stern look, you both know that lying to him is impossible.

"It's not nothing. Is it your leg? Or is it something else?"

"Its stupid" you mumble.

Noticing that you're unsure of yourself, he sits closer to you and brushes you hair out of your face in attempts to comfort you.

"Its not stupid if its bothering you" you feel your tears welling up again at how soft Seokjin's voice is. How soft he is with you.

"I just- I don't think I can be alone right now." You lean into his touch as you finally get at least some of the truth off your chest.

"You don't have to be. I was going to shower, do you want to join me?"

"I don't want to bother you."

"You won't."

"But my leg, I won't be able to stand for long."

"It's okay, we'll bring a stool in and I'll help you."

"But you're tired-"

"Never of taking care of you."

Something in your heart settles through the rest of the night, there is no other intention behind Seokjin asking you to join him.

He washes your hair and even dries it once you're out, he helps you get dressed and he goes to sleep holding you, and even if it's just for one night; all is right in the world again.

The next morning, Jin wakes you up and asks you if you'd like to come to rehearsal with the 7 of them. You're elated, to say the least. You knew it was a minimum thing, but your heart couldn't help but flutter at the thought that they wanted you around.

•••

Jin on the other hand, is pissed. Not at you, (never at you), but at his 6 boyfriends and how absolutely dense they could be, this being one of those moments.

He'd mentioned that you were coming with them, and all of them responded well: "I hope she likes the choreo!" "Yay! I want to hear what she has to say."

Their response to you tagging along wasn't the problem, no.

It was their response when he tried to tell them about how you were feeling that pissed him off:

"Wait guys, before we leave, I need to talk to you about something real quick."

All of them were attentive towards him immediately, so he thought they'd receive this better.

"It's about Y/N. And partially Joanna."

"Okay?"

"I talked to Y/N last night and she seemed upset. She didn't really want to talk about it but I'm almost completely sure that she's feeling left out, and I think it may partially be because of Joanna."

All of them begin to speak at once, until Taehyung's voice cuts through everyone else's.

"Why do you think it has something to do with Joanna?"

The 6 boys settle down and stare expectantly at Jin.

"Have you guys not noticed how backhanded all of Joanna's comments are towards her? Even when Y/N isn't present, she always makes a joke at her expense. And not to mention, we've been spending a lot of time with Joanna, much more than we've been spending with Y/N. I know if I were her I would feel hurt; being injured and spending the whole day cooped up alone while my boyfriends are spending all their time with someone who treats me like dog shit."

Jin wasn't sure what he was expecting the boys' reactions to be, but it definitely wasn't the outraged faces they were all giving him.

Jungkook is the first one to respond:

"I mean, I noticed the comments but I thought they were all in good fun? You know, since Y/N and Joanna have been friends for such a long time."

Taehyung cuts in next:

"And if Y/N is feeling left out, I mean I understand but what does that have to do with Joanna?"

Almost as if on cue, there's noise coming from the kitchen, meaning that you're awake.

Jin quickly gets up to go to you, but not before leaving the 6 boys with one final word, "Just pay attention to how she speaks to Y/N, you'll see what I'm talking about."

•••

It's hard to describe – the knowledge that you're being left behind without any obvious evidence surrounding you.

It's not something that everyone outside of your point of view might see, but you can feel it cutting through you deeply.

Not being able to do what you love, and on top of that, not being able to spend time with the people you love, it's a shattering feeling that claws through your chest.

Which leaves you where you are now: in the car with the rest of the boys on your way to rehearsal.

You thought that maybe being back in the studio would relight the spark that made the 7 men drawn to you in the first place, but even the car ride there felt cold and almost uncomfortable.

•••

The atmosphere changes the moment you step foot in the studio. It feels lighter, somehow. You don't know how to feel, not with the voice in your head insinuating that this lightness is because of Joanna; the guys are more at ease with Joanna than they are with you.

You usually hate being wrong: but now, you wish you could say the voice in your head was being irrational, yet you can't. Not when you turn around and see everyone besides Seokjin and Yoongi - who are off conversing to the side - gathered around Joanna, happily talking to her.

When did they stop looking at you like that?

Finally, she takes notice of your presence and makes her way over to you.

"Y/N, girly! Hey! Are you here to learn?"

You don't respond, confused as to what she's trying to ask you.

"Ya'know? Learn from the best! We've been so productive with this number."

She responds like it's the most obvious thing in the world, and you almost feel offended at what she's insinuating.

"Oh, um- I'm here to see what the guys have done."

Joanna blinks at you, as if your answer threw her off, before continuing.

"Oh. Ok then. Cool! And are the boys cool with that?"

You can tell, she wants this to sound passive aggressive. Kind on the surface, but a clear jab at your insecurities.

Jungkook quickly cuts in;

"Of course. Why wouldn't we be cool with that?"

Joanna stutters through her response, being caught off guard by Jungkook as she thought no one had heard her remark.

"Oh! I don't know, you might get distracted? You know?"

"We'll be fine."

This time it's Jin who answers, and even if it's a little selfish, you're glad that his tone towards Joanna is automatically cold.

"Okay thennnn!"

She turns to you:

"But if you start being a distraction I'll have to ask you to step out. Heh, step out. That's funny."

She giggles at her little joke (at your expense), and makes her way into the practice room.

Rehearsal continues as usual, and you feel a bit lighter as the boys all make jokes and include you while they stretch and warm up.

They start to run through the choreography, and your heart swells with pride seeing them dance; all their hard work really does pay off.

As much as you wish to get up and dance with them, or even get up at all, you know you can't. But just seeing them perform will do.

Once they finish, you start to clap and Jimin and Jungkook turn towards you with a playful vow.

"Its looking really good guys!"

All of the boys respond with a 'thank you' and a smile.

"I do have a couple pointers about some things I noticed-"

"Okay, let's run it again!" Before you could finish your sentence you're cut off by Joanna's squeaky voice.

Thankfully, Hoseok cares about what you have to say, and the rest seem to agree as well.

"Wait, I wanna hear what Y/N had to say."

"Yeah! It's felt weird learning a brand new number and not having any of your input on it."

"Y/N, go on." Seokjin is the one who speaks last, and the look in his eyes tell you that things will be alright.

"Ok, so first thing make sure you guys are agreeing on your directions, make sure that it's either a complete diagonal or if its a slanted move so you all move the same direction-"

"Oh yeah, I explained that to them already, they know." You're once again cut off by Joanna.

You use this as a chance to tease the boys, as you always normally.

"Oh, then why are y'all making that mistake huh?" Your tone is playful, and you see Hoseok step towards you with all the intent of playing along, when a gasp coming from your right stops you both.

"Did you come in here just to criticize?"

Of course it's Joanna.

"Wha- no. I was just teasing them. The dance looks grea-"

"I told you you were gonna distract them, and what did I say I was gonna do if you got them unfocused?"

"I didn't mean to, I was just giving pointers-"

"I've been teaching them for the last few weeks, I know what they need to focus on right now."

"But I know that it can look cleaner than it did right now."

"Well this is my choreography! I know what's best! You don't get to come in here and just start shitting on my work because what? You're jealous?! You think you're better than everyone else?!"

You're taken aback when Joanna starts to scream at you, so much so that you try to step back, completely forgetting that one of your feet is injured.

As you place your foot down, a soaring pain strikes from your foot all the way to your thigh. A sob escapes you and that's when Jin's protective nature kicks in full force.

In the blink of an eye, he's crouching next to you and picking you up while everyone else in the rooms stands frozen in place.

The ice is shattered when a wail comes from somewhere else in the room: it's Joanna.

Everyone's head whips to her direction, but for very different reasons.

Jin, for one, is beyond disbelief that she'd go as low as fake crying to get the attention back on her.

The rest of the guys seemed concerned, but not because of her. Rather because they just saw her true colors, how Jin was right, how they'd neglected you.

Seokjin picks you up and rushes out the door, leaving everyone else in the room frozen.

•••

You don't really process anything that happens afterwards. You just know Seokjin is with you as you go to the doctor to get your foot checked out, and that's enough to push you into a state where you know you can space out.

You couldn't comprehend it, how you were hurt and the rest of them weren't there.

Did they even care you were hurt?

It didn't make sense, that you were asking yourself this. When had things gotten this bad? How could they have let thing get this bad? It left you aching more than your injury, and you think that shouldn't even be possible.

When you get home, you find all the boys kitchen, a mess everywhere -much to Jin's despair- attempting to decorate what you assume is a cake. They're all focused to the point where they didn't hear you come in, and if they did, they're really good at acting like they didn't. You want to hide in your room, maybe ask Jin to hide with you, play into their ignorance, but the petty part in you is much quicker.

"Joanna doesn't like cake."

You speak without thinking about it first, and it's clear that none of them were expecting a comment like that, not even Jin, because their heads whip around instantly to you.

You panic for a little, thinking they'll get mad, but Hoseok and Yoongi start laughing at Namjoon's terrified face, at the maknae line looking like they're deer in headlights, and at Jin's round eyes.

Before you know it, They're all running up to you, and Seokjin has to grab you by the waist to make sure they don't knock you over.

They all speak at once, and you can only make out some things like "are you okay? what did the doctor say? im sorry." What cuts through all the rambling is Namjoon's smooth voice, sounding a bit exasperated as he speaks: "The cake is for you Y/N. We were making the cake for you."

Oh.

"Joon! You ruined the surprise!" Jimin stomps his feet, but you know he's not actually upset.

"Well we couldn't just let her think that we were baking a cake for fuckin Joanna!" Namjoon defends himself.

Yoongi steps in front of the two and turns to you, "It was supposed to be a 'Surprise / I'm sorry / We love you / Get well soon' cake but you got here before we finished."

His genuinely dejected demeanor makes you giggle, he looks like a sad cat.

"It's okay-"

"No it's not. Cake or not, we're all really sorry- hold on, we should sit down for this." Jungkook grabs your hand and leads you to the couch, the rest following suit.

You all sit in silence for a second before Hoseok speaks up:

"Well I guess I'll start." He sits up a little straighter so he's facing you directly, and you feel nerves run through you: was he upset? Was he going to scold you?

The guys seem to notice how you tense up, because Hoseok's face falls a into a small frown, while Jungkook scoots closer to you and Jin places a hand on your thigh.

"Y/N, I am so so sorry for the way we've been acting, and the way we haven't been acting. You got hurt under our watch, we should be the ones taking care of you, no questions asked, and we've failed to do that. There's really no excuse for how inattentive we've been. In our heads, or at least my head, I didn't really see you all day, so I thought that everything was okay because I still got to wake up to you, I still got to come home and feel comfortable knowing that you were here: we had your company. But I failed to return that company, we all failed to give you the bare minimum, and I truly am so sorry."

For the time you've know Hoseok, you've only seen him cry once or twice, so when you see tears start to fall from his eyes, it shakes you up and down. Before you can go console him, Jimin speaks up from where he sits beside Hoseok.

"Hobi's right, Y/N. We didn't pay you enough attention. We were too worried about ourselves to consider how our actions looked to you. The whole thing with Joanna, we did spend a lot of time with her, but even then, all we did was talk about you. Not in a bad way, obviously, but you just always came up in conversation. I don't know why I thought that talking about you would translate as 'we're still giving you our attention' as if you could read our thoughts or something. But again, we were selfish and careless, and I can't apologize enough for how we acted."

You appreciate Jimin's attempt at lightening up the mood, and you appreciate his words overall.

The next hour goes by in the same manner. The boys apologize one by one, not to just you, but to Seokjin as well, and before you know it, there's no one in the room that isn't crying, all of you a teary and snotty mess.

"We love you so much, Y/N. Please let us make it up to you. I love you so much." Yoongi's the last one to speak, and he finishes while walking up to you and bowing at your feet.

The rest of the guys join him, even Seokjin, and you don't know what else to do except throw yourself on the floor with all of them and cry.

The night ends with all of you cuddled up on the floor, until Namjoon and Jin make you all get up so you could go lay down properly.

They guys don't let you walk, no, Jungkook carries you while Taehyung and Jimin squish at his side in an attempt to stay close to you.

You all manage to squeeze into a single bed with you in the middle, hands everywhere trying to keep you close.

You feel warmer than you have in weeks, and meanwhile the guys do have a lot to make up for, with arms wrapped around you and sweet nothings floating in the room, you think this is a great start.

#bts #bts fic #bts au #bts fluff #bts fanfic #bts x reader #bts drabble #bts hurt/comfort #bts ot7 x reader #bts poly #bts fanfction #bangtan

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jeankluv · 6 months

Text

Birdie | Satoru Gojo - Chapter 02

Words: 4.6k

Summary: You didn’t like him, at all. But due to your bad luck you would have to be forced to work with him and different circumstances end up leading you to the fact that perhaps the word dislike is not the one you use to describe him.

ac: _3aem (twt)

Tags: modern au, college au, fem!reader, academic rivals, he fell first, fluff, old money Gojo Satoru, abusive parents, slight slow burn, Satoru is a softy, secondary couple (Geto Suguru x oc), a bit of angst, no use of y/n, eventual smut, Gojo plays basketball

Materialist | previous chapter | next chapter

Links to the story on: wattpad | ao3

You stood before the classroom, ready for your first class of the day. Kyoko had lend you one of her dresses, considering you hadn't had the chance to stop by the house to start packing and moving in with her and her parents. When you discussed the arrangement with Kyoko's parents, they expressed no objections; instead, they were delighted at the prospect of you living with them. At times, you found yourself pondering what good fortune had led you to this life—to be surrounded by Kyoko and her family, who welcomed you repeatedly with open arms and without any expectations in return.

Four days had passed since the incident had occurred, you had tried to go to class, but Kyoko’s didn’t let you, seeing how pale you were. Gojo had texted you during those days, at first you ignored him but you ended up sending him a message telling him that you were fine but needed rest, after that he didn't send you any messages again.

Shaking your head, you entered the classroom. A few students were already seated, engaging in light conversation. Casting your gaze around the room, you typically preferred the seat by the window, especially during spring when you enjoyed the warmth of the sun on your face and admired the increasingly verdant hues of the park outside.

“You are here!” You felt two hands grabbing you from your shoulders and moving you to the front.

You looked up and saw the bright smile of Satoru Gojo. “What are you doing?”

“I told you, I was going to save you a seat, wasn't I? I take you to him. Wait! Are you still sick? If you want, I'll take you there.” You felt your face burn red, what was he into.

“I’m not sick.” You separated from him a little and could notice the murderous look of a group of students who were a little further back. You swallowed and looked up at Gojo. “You don't need to grab me, I'm not going to fall. And you didn't have to save a place for me…”

He nodded and smiled. “But still did! Look the best spot!” He pointed out.

You looked at the place where Gojo pointed and opened your eyes, it was the place where you used to sit, the one with the best views and where there was the best breeze.

“Good, right?” He smiled arrogantly.

You snorted and then smiled. “It's not that big of a deal, Gojo.”

“Well I made you smile.” He leaned towards you. “That's a win for me.”

You breathed slowly, he was getting on your nerves. He passed next to you and sat down on the sit that was right next to your favorite spot. You knew it was pointless to tell him to go to another place, his stubborn head was not going to move from there, so you let it be and sat next to him. As always, you took one of your notebooks and your pencil case out of your backpack and waited, looking out the window, for the teacher to walk through the door and start teaching his class.

You could feel Gojo moving in the seat next to you. You turned your head a little to find him rummaging through your pencil case and with your notebook in his hands. At what point had he picked it up?

“What are you doing?” You said putting your hand on top of the notebook, you had said it so loudly that some people turned to look at you. Shit. “What are you doing?” You said once again but whispering.

“Oh…” He looked down at the notebook and put his hand on top of your. You felt an electric shock go through your body and moved the hand away from his touch. “I was drawing a bird, birdie.” He said showing you the drawing, you would say you were surprised by how good the drawing was but it was Satoru Gojo after all, everything he did seemed to be always perfect.

“It’s really… good.” You held your notebook back.

“I know.” He smiled cockily.

You rolled your eyes and started to focus on the class, the teacher was already starting to explain some things and you needed to be focused to take all the notes. About 45 minutes had passed when out of the corner of your eye you looked at Gojo, he was looking at you. What was he doing looking at you? You noticed how your pulse accelerated, the bastard was getting on your nerves. Was he not going to take a single note in the entire class? You tried to ignore his gaze from the rest of the class but you felt his blue eyes boring into you the entire time.

Class ended and the teacher left, and now you had a free hour. You saw how your companions began to leave, all except one. You turned to look at him and he was always smiling at you, didn't he get tired?

“Why are you still here?” You spoke.

“Isn’t it obvious? I’m waiting for you!”

“I’m going to the library to study…”

“Great, I will go with you too.” He stood up and started walking.

You looked at his back and didn’t move from your seat. Why was he so determined to be with you? Your trust issues told you that you would distrust him but there was another part that told you no. You shook your head, trying to get those thoughts away from you. Gojo would eventually get tired of you and leave, he just needed time.

“Here.” You noticed how something cold touched your face, causing you to squint at the sensation. “You need to hydrate yourself so you don't faint again.”

You looked at him confused. “Thank you…”

You looked down at the bottle that now was on your hands. You were trying to understand all Gojo’s actions but each one of them was more confusing than the other one.

“By the way.” He spoke again, walking beside you. “You changed your style?”

You looked down and saw the floral dress you were wearing. “It’s Kyoko’s dress. I haven’t gone to my apartment yet and I didn’t have any clothes in Kyoko’s house.” Gojo nodded and gave you one last look before smiling for himself.

Weird.

You walked with Gojo to the library, people stared at him wherever he went and he smiled at them with his best smile. Making those who saw him fall at his feet. Upon arriving at the library, Gojo sat next to you and watched as you took out the notes you had taken today.

“You are not going to study?” You looked at him.

He shook his head. “I don’t need it.” You rolled his eyes at his comment.

“Then why did you come?”

“To make you company.” He shrugged.

“I don’t need anyone to accompany me. I’m sure your friends are waiting for you somewhere, you can leave.” You sound too harsh.

He once again shook his head. “Don’t worry. I prefer to be here with you.”

There it was again, that warm feeling in my chest. You turned your head to stop looking at him and took your headphones out of your backpack, it didn't matter that Gojo was there, you were going to study and do what you came to do. The minutes began to pass, while you were studying, Gojo had rested his head on the table and closed his eyes.

“Fuck.” You blurted out in frustration, you had been stuck with the same problem for 15 minutes. It didn't matter where you took this subject, it was simply impossible for you.

Gojo stretched his arms and yawned next to you, then rested his face on his hand. “What's wrong birdie?”

That nickname again, you were going to ignore it, his stubborn head was not going to stop. “I hate this subject so much…” You cried. “Doesn’t matter how much I try I don’t understand it and the teacher is just…” Awful but you didn’t want to say it out loud. “And we will have a partial in four weeks…”

Gojo looked over your notes, nodding and a smile on his face. “I will help you.”

He would? But with that smile on his face you knew there was something hidden behind it. “What are you up to, Gojo?”

“I will. I’m good with this subject.” Which one is not? You wanted to ask. “But.” There it was. “With one condition.” He put one finger in the air.

“Which is…?” You responded tiredly.

“If you pass the exam, and you surpass me, I will stop being so annoying.” You nodded. “But if I get a higher score than you… You will go out on a date with me.”

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

Your shoes stomped on the floor, making them sound loudly. You had been looking for Kyoko around the school for 20 minutes without success, you had called her 4 times and her cell phone must have been full of text messages begging her to meet him immediately.

You to Kyoko ☀️

Kyoko!!!

Kyoko where are you?

I need you 😭

This is an emergency!!

┻━┻︵╰(‵□′)╯︵┻━┻

You went to the cafeteria and walked up and down until you saw her sitting with Suguru, Gojo's friend. Gojo, date…ah shit. You shook your head and walked over to them. The two stopped talking and looked at you, Kyoko said your name with the sweetest smile in the world and you felt your problems almost disappear.

“Hi, how are-?”

“We need to talk. Like right now.” You looked at Gojo’s friend. “Alone… sorry.”

He smiled and shook his head. “It’s alright.” He stood up. “I will call you.”

“Okay.” Kyoko smiled.

“Goodbye girls.”

“Thank you.” You said. “And sorry for interrupting you!” You told him and he nodded.

You sat where Suguru was before you and took a deep breath.

“Uh…” Kyoko smiled. “What’s up with that?”

“You know I usually go to the library to study at this time right?” She nodded. “Well, Gojo came for me.” She took a sip from his cup of coffee and motioned for you to continue. “Well… she was with Mr. Tanaka's subject, you know I've had her stuck since the first day. Well, Gojo, to no one's surprise, is good at that subject and has offered to help me.”

“That’s a good thing, you might not like him but this could be the only chance for you to pass that subject.”

“Yeah… he put a condition to it.” Kyoko raised an eyebrow. “If I manage to pass the exam but I don’t get a higher score than him, I will have to go out with him on a date.” You cried.

Kyoko laughed and you looked at her wanting to kill her. “Sorry, sorry. But that bad of an idea it would be? Going out with him just one day, as a date.” She rest her head on her hand.

“I… I can’t stand him.”

“I know. Listen, I shouldn’t be telling you this but, Suguru told me Satoru really wants for both of you to be close and has been trying for a long time. But you always avoid him, so he is taking this small opportunity he has to get closer with you.” She held your hands. “Give it a chance and besides maybe he could take you out to a fancy restaurant.”

“Ugh please no.”

“Okay okay.” She raised her hands up. “Just relax, you will get a higher rank than him.”

“I don’t know Kyoko… By the way.” You looked at her. “What’s up with you and his friend, Suguru.”

She looked down and started playing with her hands. “Well, we started talking and we are meeting each other. For now.”

You nodded and smiled. “I’m happy for you, Kyoko.”

“Maybe in some months we can go out on a double date!” She joked.

“Eh… Relax Kyoko! I don’t even see myself dating him, not even close.”

“But you once told me, you thought he was attractive.” Your cheeks turned red.

Yeah it was true, you found Gojo quite attractive but who wouldn’t. With that silver hair, blue eyes and a height that left everyone with the jaw on the floor. Fuck, what were you thinking?

“Yeah, but you would be blind not to see he is attractive.” You said out loud.

“Who is attractive?” Oh shit.

“Sorry, I told him you two were having a private talk but he wouldn’t listen.” Suguru appeared behind Gojo.

You must be red like a tomato right now. “Who is attractive birdie?” He smiled, closing the gap that was between both of you.

“Eh…” You looked around, trying to think of an answer. “Haibara’s friend!”

“Haibara…” He repeated. “As Yu Haibara?” You nodded.

“Yeah! His friend, the tall and blonde one.” You smiled and looked at Kyoko. “Right?”

“Oh! Nanami?” Suguru asked.

Hell you didn’t know what his name was, you only saw him whenever he was waiting outside the store for Haibara. Of course they knew who he was, both of them, Gojo and Suguru, knew who Haibara was and they probably also knew that guy. You wanted to hit your head against a wall, you were too dumb.

“So Nanami eh?” Gojo touched his chin.

“Yeah, he is pretty handsome and interesting, not gonna lie.” You were lying, you only saw him from a far distance and 10 seconds ago you didn’t even know his name.

“But I’m more handsome.” Gojo replied.

“Yes.” You said without thinking. Oh no. “Wait!”

“Hehe.” He had the biggest smirk on his face. “Birdie, did you just say what I think you did?”

You wanted to run. “I didn’t.” You shook your head.

“I think you did. Right Suguru? You heard it too.” He grabbed his friend.

“I didn’t Gojo, shut up or I…”

“You…” Gojo leaned towards you.

“Oh look at the time!” You pointed at the non existent watch. “My next class is about to start.” You turned around to face Kyoko. “I love you. I will see you after work at home. Bye!”

What fly had bitten you? Why were you so nervous? Having Gojo so close had accelerated everything inside you and you had felt extremely overwhelmed. If you stayed there a little longer you would end up going crazy. God you were screwed, weren't you?

Satoru Gojo pov

Gojo watched your figure speed away from the cafeteria, while you touched your red cheeks. Making you blush was something he loved, the way you first opened your eyes wide and then started looking everywhere, and finally you started to turn red, he found it extremely adorable.

“Hey Suguru…” Satoru looked at his friend. “She didn’t have a watch with her.” And he laughed.

“You should stop scaring her like that.” Suguru talked beside him.

Satoru laughed and looked at his friend. “It’s funny, she looks adorable with her cheeks all red.”

“Don’t cry if she kicks your ass one day.” Kyoko spoke. “If I’m not mistaken she was black belt in taekwondo.”

“She knows taekwondo?” Satoru excitedly asked.

“Yeah…”

“She doesn’t stop surprising me.”

“But for real Satoru, if you do something wrong or your intentions with her are bad, the one kicking your ass won’t be her, it would be me. And I’m much worse.” Kyoko faced Satoru, with a gaze he swore never saw in the girl before.

“Sure but I don’t have any bad intentions with her. Don’t worry.” Kyoko nodded. “Well then I will get going! I will leave you two love birds alone.” Satoru laughed when he saw the red faces of both of them.

“Satoru…” Suguru looked at him.

“Bye bye!” And he left them alone.

He walked out of the cafeteria and stuck his tongue out at his best friend who was positioned in front of the window. Satoru laughed as he watched Suguru give him the finger.

He put on his headphones and started walking towards his car. He hoped that no one would stop him on the way to him, but unfortunately for him that was not the case, several people stopped him trying to give them his number or asking for his, but Satoru simply rejected them all.

If there was one thing Satoru hated, it was being only seen as a pretty face or for the size of his wallet. He obviously knew that he was attractive, he looked in the mirror every day and knew it but sometimes he wished that others didn't.

The song that was playing in his headphones stopped playing and was interrupted by an incoming call. Satoru pulled the phone out of his pocket heavily and rolled his eyes at the name that appeared on the screen.

Mother

He sighed and clicked the green symbol to take the call. "Mother."

“Satoru, son.” His mother's cold voice sounded on the other end of the phone. “I remind you that today we have family lunch with your grandparents.”

“I know…” He knew it perfectly, his mother had been repeating it for more than a week. “I will be there as soon as possible.”

“Okay, see you in a bit then.” And she hung up.

Not a goodbye, not a I love you. Satoru wonders if the word I love you had ever come from his mother, at least it had never happened with him.

His parents were not like the rest, they were cold, calculating, arrogant and manipulative. They always sought to achieve more and more, regardless of who they harmed in the process. When Satoru had the chance to become independent he did, staying in that crazy house would only make him like them, and that was something he refused to be.

He looked up from the phone and looked towards one of the faculty classrooms. A smile appeared on his face as he saw you leaning against the glass, eyes half closed as if you were about to fall asleep.

Satoru to Birdie 🐥

It’s only been 10 minutes of class and you are already sleepy birdie?

He sent the message and waited a bit for you to see it. He saw you move, looking for what could be the cell phone and then move your head in all directions, probably looking for him. Satoru bit his lip trying to contain his laughter and wrote again.

Satoru to Birdie 🐥

Outside

And then you turned your head to meet Satoru's blue gaze. He greeted you warmly and you lowered your head again.

Birdie 🐥

Stop stalking me, weirdo

Leave!

He laughed.

Satoru to Birdie 🐥

Just wanted to wave you goodbye, since you left so quickly

Birdie 🐥

Okay you did it

Now leave, people will think weird things

Satoru smiled and waved at you goodbye when he saw you looking back at him. You also gave him a small goodbye, which made him smile even harder, if that was possible.

Satoru walked to his car and sat in it. He was supposed to go to his parents' house, but he hated the mere idea of setting foot in that place for a moment. But he knew he had no choice. He scratched his temple and started the car, heading to his parents' house.

It didn't take him long to enter through the door of his parents' luxurious villa and to be instantly greeted by one of the house's employees. Upon entering he could see his mother sitting reading and his father on the phone, shouting, probably about something about business.

“Mother.” Satoru smiled at his mother.

“Oh son, you are already here?” She said without looking at him.

“Yeah, I just arrived.”

“That’s good, your grandparents are about to arrive.” That’s when she looked at him. “You should change.” Satoru looked at himself. “It’s not appropriate. You have clothes in your old room.” She pointed out and went back to her reading.

“Okay mother.” Satoru turned around and started walking towards his old room.

Satoru passed by his father, who did not even notice his presence in that place. He walked through the house until he reached his old room. He remained the same, not a hint of color, not a photo, not a toy, nothing. He threw himself on the bed, face down, and cursed to himself. He needed that afternoon to pass as soon as possible. He turned around on his back, looking at the ceiling.

Everyone had always told him how lucky he was to be a Gojo, his parents, his family. Nothing could be further from the truth. It was exhausting and demanding. Satoru often wanted to be able to exchange himself with any other person, to be able to escape from those demands and goals that he had to meet, just by belonging to the Gojo clan.

He stretched his arms and got out of bed to look at the closet. They were all suits. Did he really have to wear a suit to eat? He rolled her eyes and grabbed one of them.

When he was already putting on his jacket he could hear his parents greeting his grandparents. Satoru took a deep breath and psyched himself up for what awaited him.

“Satoru! Darling!” His grandma approached him. “How are you? You look really nice.”

“Thank you grandma, I’m good. How are you?”

“Good, good.” She nodded.

“Son.” He heard the cold voice of his mother. “Let’s get going.”

She pointed at the dining room, they all followed and sat down. No one said a single word for a king, the only sound in the room was the sound of cutlery.

“So Satoru.” His grandfather spoke. “You are already on age for marriage. Have you been looking for a wife? I heard there are a few women from good clans that are still single.”

Satoru took a breath, the question had taken a while to come out but there it was. “Not yet grandfather, I’m concentrating on my studies.”

He took a sip from the glass and looked at Satoru. “I still don't understand why you haven't followed the family footsteps and studied law.”

“It was not my thing…”

“Doesn’t matter.” He put the glass on the table. “In 5 weeks there is the charity gala for businessmen here in Tokyo. The whole family must attend and Satoru it would be nice if you showed up there with a partner.”

Satoru clenched his fists, he already knew it.

“Your grandfather is right, son. We can make an appointment for you ourselves. The daughter of the Iori family is still single, on the other hand there is also the eldest daughter of the family…”

“I think I need some fresh air. I will go for a walk.”

“Son! What are you doing?!” He ignored the screams from his mother and got up from the table.

He heard his mother angrily speaking and his father agreeing with her. He just ignored all of it and got into his car. He drove for 10 minutes until he realized where he had parked the car. He smiled to himself as he realized how his subconscious had played with him.

Your pov

The afternoon in the store had been very boring, hardly any customers had come there. So now you were looking at your notebook, full of equations. Would you be able to get them before the exam? Probably not. And it wasn't because you hadn't tried, because you had tried, without stopping, but the teacher's explanations were simply impossible for you.

Was it really that bad of an idea to accept Gojo’s proposal?

You shook your head. Kyoko was right, it wasn’t a bad idea and besides nothing would happen for going out one day with him, right?

And on the other hand, you're pretty sure that Gojo would leave you alone sooner or later, you two were complete opposites. Two different worlds. He was like Saturn, so bright and majestic, everyone stared and observed him. On the other hand, you were like Uranus, distant, darker, less bright, colder, smaller.

“Why I’m thinking that?” You laughed for yourself.

“You seemed pretty concentrated, to be honest.” You heard a voice that made you look up. “Hi birdie. Miss me?”

Why is he there? When did he enter the store? Why is he wearing a suit?

“Gojo…” You opened your mouth and then closed it again.

“I know, you missed me.” He smirked.

“When did you come?”

“I’ve been here for like two minutes.” He looked at his watch. “You were in another world or something?”

“Are you buying something?” You ignored his question.

“Yep.” He popped the ‘p’. “Here.” He said putting a can in front of you.

“There you have.” You said after paying him.

“You still have a lot of your shift?”

You looked at the watch on the wall and nodded. “Two more hours.”

“I won’t be able to wait for you then.” He pouted.

“I didn’t want you, waiting for me.”

“Don’t be so mean birdie. Anyways, I need to go to my parents house but sent me a message when you get home.”

“Who the fuck do you think you are Gojo!? My boyfriend or something?” You shouted at him when he was exiting the store.

He turned around and looked at you. “Maybe I could be.”

You grabbed a package of tissues from the counter and threw it at him. What the hell? Stupid Gojo Satoru!

“Free tissues for me? How considerate!” He laughed holding the package.

“Get out of my sight Gojo! Now!” You shouted, Gojo turned around and waved goodbye to you.

You sat back down on the stool behind the counter and let out a scream. Gojo Satoru got on your nerves, when you thought he could behave normally, he would make those comments. And the worst thing was the way your stupid heart got when he said them. Fucking idiot.

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

You laid down on the bed in your new room at Kyoko's house. You had finished work an hour ago and Kyoko and his parents had welcomed you with dinner and a smile on their face. When was the last time someone had welcomed you with so much affection after arriving from somewhere? You don't remember it well, but it was probably when your grandmother was still alive.

She always waited for you with a smile on her face when you went to her house after school and she always showered you with kisses and love when the two of you were alone. But that happiness ended when you were 16 and since then you had not felt that warmth in your chest again.

Now you were there, in a new place that you could start calling home. And it was bright, warm and welcoming.

You rolled over yourself and grabbed the phone, clicking on a certain chat. You bite your nail, should you send a message or just talk tomorrow? The best was to leave it for tomorrow. Yeah that was the best. You left it and grabbed one of your notebooks and started reading the notes you took, memorizing it when the phone buzzed on the bed. You put the notebook aside and grabbed it strangely. Then you felt your heart jump hard in your chest. There were only three words on the screen, but they were enough to make your heart race and confuse you to no end.

Pain in the ass

Good night birdie

You to Pain in the ass

Good night Gojo

Note: a comment and a like is always appreciate. Also comment if you want to be added to the tag list.

Tag list: @crybabytoru, @sanriosatoru, @norvacaine, @sadmonke

#satoru gojo x y/n #gojo satoru fluff #gojo satoru smut #satoru gojo x you #satoru gojo x reader #gojo fluff #gojo x reader #gojo satoru x reader #gojou satoru x reader #gojo satoru x you #gojo x you #satoru x you #satoru x reader #gojo satoru x oc #gojo satoru fanfic #gojo satoru x y/n

174 notes · View notes

mazzystar24 · 25 days

Note

I hope I can ask you this because I don't want to ask in the tags, I'm scared 🥹 but I've seen a lot of discourse about why tommy isn't good for buck, he's cold, the relationship is toxic etc and I was wondering why people think that? Is there anything specific that started it?

I fully believe eddie is buck's true love, endgame, whatever we want to call it and I'm sad we don't have that (yet) but I thought bucktommy was kinda fun in the meantime. I just want to understand 🫶🏻

Oh hey darling! you were so sweet and genuine in your response so please know I’m just answering what I’m asked and if you wanna enjoy and have fun with bt that is completely your prerogative but I’m just offering my perspective on it

And i am warning you this is gonna be long because I feel a constant need to go really in depth in my thoughts

Okay so idk how I’m gonna break this down but maybe I’ll do it in like main points?

Also if you’re new here whenever I use bullet points I’m just doing it cos I find it easier to chunk up my thoughts not cos I’m being curt or anything with you

1. The chimney and hen begins episodes

He wasnt just passive in the episodes and letting Gerard get away with his racist and misogynistic behaviour he ACTIVELY participated in it

This includes:

• Asking if they forgot to tip the delivery guy WHILE THEY WERE EATING CHINESE FOOD when chimney first comes up despite the fact that 1. Chimney had a big ass lafd bag 2. They were probably already told a probie would be coming 3. Probably would’ve seen the actual delivery guy 4. I would bet my absolute life that question would not have been asked if buck or bobby had walked up those stairs this wasn’t an innocent comment it WAS RACIST intentionally like the entire point of the episode was to show how bad they had it

• the New York bitchiness comment

• throwing his tools down along for hen to clean up

• going out of his way to treat them like outcasts and hating chimney before he even knew him despite chimneys efforts

• the way each of them had to “earn his respect” in some way before he acted like a normal coworker to them and this was never in the typical ‘oh it’s a new person’ type of way it always had to do with their race or in hen’s case her gender too

A defence I see a lot for this is “oh he was closeted” and honestly to me that is such bullshit because 1. Eli was perfectly capable of not participating in the racism and taking chimney under his wing without getting any shit for it and chimney is quite literally a Korean man (something he literally can’t hide) and he had just got his head above water with Gerard’s racism when hen came and he STILL was a friend to her 2. Again tommy wasn’t passive in it and just letting Gerrard be racist (which would’ve been one thing) no he actively participated in it to be part of the boys club 3. Let’s say that somehow not being a dick would’ve meant that that was a threat to the closet he was in- that is still in my opinion a fucked up sense of preservation if you spare yourself the possibility of bigotry (despite having inherent social capital by being a white man in that job) by inflicting others to bigotry

Now when Tommy was first reintroduced I was like keeping an open mind and saying okay it’s been a lot of time and maybe he has genuinely made amends because I do believe in redemption but imo they have made no attempt to show us that and had him honestly put more of the blame on Gerrard for his behaviour or the writers flat out avoiding mentioning it to retcon tommy a little and hope we forget

Another defence I see is “oh chimney and hen became friends with him so they must’ve forgave him”, hen went no contact the moment he left (something the writers went out of their way to include that line) and chimney didn’t even invite him to his wedding which was quite big after the Buckley parents got involved so it’s not like it was cos it was such a small and intimate wedding and he only called him as far as we know in those years when he needed a favor, which all means that most likely they had kinda just put it behind them and kept up a coworker relationship with him, but no actual friendship or actual forgiveness or redemption had taken place

Oh wow all that was just point one and I can probably talk more on it but I’ll just leave it with saying that Lou’s comments about it being teasing or how Tommy genuinely didn’t know hen or chimney were capable etc just makes for a worse case than saying it’s cos of being in the closet (and that is genuinely a large part of why idk much abt Lou but those comments are enough to make me hate him) and I’ll also say that poc (myself included in that) have these situations so often- situations even as specific as gay men being racist to them to fit in - and we understand the nuance and shit to it but we also understand on a deep level how it feels to be on the other side of that

And getting toxic bt fans try to come up with ways to downplay or minimise racism honestly pisses me off so much cos believe you me we have heard every excuse and downplay under the sun and I for one am sick and tired of it

2. Why he’s viewed as cold and his jokes

• literally from the small parts we saw of him and Eddie hanging out we have seen the man is in fact capable of joking and being light and having fun but around buck in particular he’s like 🧍‍♂️😐 and the occasional 🙂 like it just feels very stiff and just plain in a way

• his humour consistently falls flat and feels passive aggressive more than anything like blunt or sardonic humour DOES work like I personally love it but it’s not being written OR executed right

A. It’s always in response to genuine moments or questions such as buck talking abt the award or the daddy kink joke or henren questioning him

B. It’s the the majority of what we see from him, there is not enough balance for it

C. Lack of rapport, when friends or couples make jokes that can come off the wrong way if said to anyone else it’s cos of the rapport built already, this rapport is not established with the characters OR with the audience for these jokes to come off right

D. I gotta say this one too but the execution just isn’t right from writing to acting, it’s the same reason sardonic humour lines from Sandra oh as Cristina Yang or hugh Laurie as house still lets you like the characters and find them funny but Tommys lines come off as annoying to a lot of people

3. I think fandom discourse probably has something to do with it but not in the way you think

I’m not saying like oh ppl who ship buddie just hate him cos of the ship no I’m saying that like what takes him from an annoying disliked character to a hated character is most likely the fact that his role stirred so much drama and caused so much damage to how the fandom used to be that its turned the dial up

4. A lot of his development, lore or redeemable factors or cute things are just not canon

This may be blunt and I am sorry for that but I think his character has been blown up to such a degree that it’s genuinely shocking

Like I look at posts or get sent hate and I’m like where did any of this happen this is just not canon this is just not a show like at times I’m genuinely convinced it’s a social experiment where different ppl saw a different show like some spiderman multiverse situation

Listen I’m all for headcanons genuinely like if you wanna take extra number three and make a whole backstory and lore and cute stuff abt her I’m all for it but it’s when it’s said as if it’s fact or canon that I’m like hold up a second rewind

I think this is kinda a result of Lou’s cameos (which honestly deserves its own post but you asked why the tommy hate so imma stay on topic) and also this like need to defend the character but not having much material to work with

Like if we look at canon we can literally break down the entirety of Tommys appearances this far in the show and what we learn about him:

• chimney begins- he makes a racist comment and he tries to suck up to Gerard, there is a little hint abt his gayness with the gf comment, Eli says to chimney that’s just how they are and tries to reason it could be fear of losing friends but we see tommy having friends in the firehouse while eli says this, chimney tries to make friends with him and tommy makes no attempt to get to know him and says he’d hate him anyways, chimney saves Tommys life thus earning his respect

• hen begins- she’s met with the same racism chimney is but also met with misogyny (and homophobia but that’s not relevant to the tommy of it all), we find out chimney is still isolated from the rest despite having earnt that respect, chimney befriends hen and again tommy still doesn’t try anything like that until hen proves herself and earns his respect, ppl reported Gerard but it’s never actually stated tommy was one of those ppl so again that’s not canon that’s speculated

• bobby begins- chimney and hen both seem to be like coworker friends with tommy and Sal, Sal throws hissy fit bobby “fires” him tommy says it’s an overreaction bobby reveals it was a transfer, they all seem to make nice, tommy leaves to 217

• chimney calls tommy for help and tommy helps

• we see nothing from tommy,then cruise ship he helps the team but also in this we find out hen cut off all contact since he left

• buck takes tour of harbour, Eddie and tommy have a friendship and we find out some of Tommys interests and that he was in the army, basketball scene and the subsequent apology and kiss

• dinner date, Tommy explains how he was in the closet, Buck has his little awkward moment (which will be elaborated on in my next point) , Tommy says nothing abt it till the Uber arrives and he leaves buck

• buck reaches out and apologises and asks for a second chance inviting tommy to the madney wedding

• bachelor party and the issue of the lack of costume and not just taking the day off for neither wedding nor bachelor party (which you can reason is reasonable but also I feel like this deserves its point for the narrative choices)

• tommy shows up straight outta work they kiss buck has the soot coming out award ceremony - buck being happy abt the reward to which tommy sardonically says enjoy it while it lasts enter bigoted cunt gerard then chimney comes and insults gerard and they walk away

• we don’t see tommy again till the dinner date after Bobby nearly died and when buck tries to explain Bobbys significance to his life tommy throws the your dad is still alive which is just honestly one of his worst moments imo and I made a whole post abt it but can’t find it and then we all know the rest of that convo and I could make a bullet point for it but actually I made a whole post before so I’ll link it: here

AND THATS IT

Like all this comes down to what maybe like 30 mins screentime? If that?

5. The leaving buck on their first date

The defences people use for this are:

• buck was trying to shove him back in the closet

• buck was obviously not ready

• people angry abt this are just babying buck like he can find his own way home it’s not that big of a deal

• buck was at fault there and tommy would’ve been justified in being angry and not giving him a second chance

And honestly every last one of these are bullshit imo and lemme go point by point

• buck panicked, I don’t think that what buck was feeling in that moment can be properly described because unless you’re a queer person and you’ve experienced that like bone deep panic that like brain overload then you won’t get it

Like one it’s his first queer date

Two he doesn’t even understand his own sexuality atp

Three his closest friend just walked in in a situation that’s already putting him on edge

So he’s not only panicking he’s not understanding why he’s panicking he’s trying to make excuses eventhough part of him knows he doesn’t need one but also he doesn’t even understand this side of himself yet so he doesn’t want to have to potentially explain it

Like it’s a million things and a million emotions and no one can claim they would behave rationally or appropriately in that situation and if you say that you would you’re lying simple as that

Also then we find out that Eddie thought tommy was straight anyways

• the reason I love the buddie coming out scene is because of Eddie’s “and what do you think” line because it’s not up to tommy or anyone else whether a person is “ready” enough in their queerness to date. Full stop.

Also tommy knew it was Buck’s first date with a man and was still down so why is he using that as some sort of out

•it’s not about babying buck and it’s not about him finding his own way home it’s the fact that Tommy could’ve done it with much more grace and he could’ve been a lot nicer with it but he wasn’t, and this is again bucks first date with a man even if it doesn’t end with a second date it should at the very least not end up with him feeling like a screw up on the side of the road

• to the ppl who say that- kindly shut up cos again see the first point but also I wanna point out that somehow the ppl saying this are also the same ones saying that Tommy was justified to be RACIST for a prolonged period of time due to being in the closet yet Buck what? Panicking for a few seconds and being a little awkward? is somehow this giant inexcusable thing

5. The narrative choices with him have been reasonably clear and tbh if they had been made with a woman it would not be up for debate:

• tommy leaves buck on their first date then he comes back and gives buck a chance- we as a fandom have been unanimous in saying for years that Buck’s endgame would be the one that doesn’t leave him cos this pattern has been something we saw over and over with him

• tommy not dressing up- again you can rationalise it but it’s a narrative choice and it’s glaring when contrasted with Eddie suggesting the duo costume

And if we had this scene with Taylor so many ppl would be saying that it’s once again showing that her and Buck’s personalities don’t align

• him being on standby for the wedding and bachelor party- again you can say oh buck invited him last minute or oh he couldn’t taken the day off (which lbr he could’ve he’s not the only firefighter pilot in la) - but again narrative choice

If it was Taylor everyone would’ve been like SEE? Again they’re showing the audience that her work is this looming presence in their relationship

Anyway I’m gonna shut up now cos this is A LOT

I’m so sorry it took me so long to respond tho and sending flowers in apology💐💐💐💐💐💐

Love ya for being so genuine when asking and hope all this didn’t come off too strong and that it was idk helpful?🫶🫶

I realise my response is abt to have toxic bt fans scurry to my inbox like rats to send hate and to that I say go fuck yourselves I’m responding to a question here

#911 #buddie #911 abc #evan buckley #911 fox #911onfox #eddie diaz #evan buck buckley #asks #asks open #send asks #my asks #send me asks #answered asks #anti bt #anti tommy kinard #fandom discourse #911 discourse

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hwashotcheeto · 5 months

Text

𝑩𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝑭𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅'𝒔 𝑴𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 (10)

Best Friend's Mother Masterlist

Chapter: Ten

Milf!Park Seonghwa X gn!reader

Summary: Christmas has finally come. But with it, the end of Winter Break, and feelings that both you and Seonghwa are still too scared to confront.

WC: 6.3k

CW: Fluff, angst, suggestive but it cuts off

AN: I'm so sorry this took so long. I don't have much to say, other than this is more angsty than I planned, but I think it makes for a better story. I hope it's a good part one finale for you all, and you enjoy, as always. 💜

Tag List: @hyunjinsjeans @malldreamprincess @unlikelysublimekryptonite @goayeos @kittkat44 @babyxhoiz @asleepylilcat @mxnsxngie @rxnexxi @mommahwa1117 @acciocriativity @anxiousskylar @h3arteyes4mingi @jus2passtime @asjkdk @soso59love-blog @i-love-ateez @cb97s-laptop @multistanbaby

It was December 24th, and you were awake way earlier than you wanted to be, standing in a jewelry store, looking through the glass of the display case at the many expensive, gorgeous, necklaces.

But tomorrow was Christmas, and you needed a gift for Seonghwa, so sacrifices had to be made.

You’d already figured out a gift for Wooyoung ages ago, you had it wrapped and ready in your guest room at the house.

Now you were here, looking for a gift for his mother.

You often had moments where you still couldn’t believe the life you were currently living.

“Do you need help?” You snapped your head up to find the person who spoke to you, and your eyes found a sweet older woman, smiling at you from behind her glasses. “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you, dear.”

“No, it’s alright,” you said back, offering back a half smile as you tried to collect yourself. “I’m just looking for a last minute gift.

“Oh, well, what exactly are you looking for?” The older woman came closer, looking over the necklaces in the case as you were.

At that moment, you realized that you really didn’t know what to look for.

You had a good sense of Seonghwa’s style by now, but in terms of jewelry, you were a little stumped. In the month you’d been there, the three of you hadn’t really gone out, so none of you really “dressed up.”

But of the things you did see, you weren’t sure what he preferred. He usually wore chains, something elegant to go with his already sophisticated outfits.

But at the same time, you didn’t want a generic, expensive diamond necklace on a silver chain. Most necklaces looked like that, just a pretty pendant on a cheap, boring chain.

Of course, they had their own charm, and you had a few necklaces like that yourself. But you wanted to find him something special, something as unique as he was.

You were wishing you’d asked Wooyoung what Seonghwa would wear, but even you knew about Wooyoung’s inability to shut the fuck up. So if you did ask, you ran the risk of spoiling the surprise.

“I don’t really know,” you mumbled, putting your hands into the pocket of your hoodie.

“Well, maybe I can help you,” the older woman offered, giving you another sweet smile. You had to admit, in the back of your mind, you were doubtful. But you’d accept any help you could at that moment.

You nodded, and the older woman nodded back. “So, who is it for?”

You hesitated, even if this was the expected first question. Considering the previous day’s events, you were even more hesitant to even breathe a word of your infatuation with Seonghwa to anyone.

So you spit out some half formed excuse that you hoped sounded believable. “For someone I’ve been seeing.”

The older woman’s eyes lit up like stars as a big smile spread across her face. You couldn’t help but smile with her.

“Isn’t that precious?” She looked at the display cases again before she looked back at you. “What are they like? What do they like to wear?”

Like magic, there he was in your mind. Seonghwa, in his gorgeous dresses and outfits. Walking like a queen with the way he held himself. His gorgeous smile that lit up the world, and his bright doe eyes.

He was everything. He was wonderful.

“He’s very mature,” you began, not picking up on the fact that “he” was the pronoun that came out. “He dresses expensively. He’s a type that likes the finer things in life.”

“You’re looking for something a little more expensive?” The woman teased with a little grin, but you nodded in agreement. You did have a budget, as your student loan money that you were using couldn’t all go to a Christmas present.

But for Seonghwa, you’d do it.

“Come with me.” The older woman began walking around to a different display case, and the necklaces here were far more ornate and expensive than the ones you were looking at. Your heart stopped when you saw the price tag on one of them.

One of these necklaces could easily pay for at least half a year of your tuition. That was intimidating, to say the very least.

The older woman must’ve saw the color drain from your face, because she quickly leaned on the counter and spoke to you softly: “This is where I tell people to look for the piece they want, and then we usually find something more affordable that’s close to what they want.”

Your entire body sagged with relief.

So there you went, looking over the necklaces they had. These ones weren’t just jewels on a chain, they were much more detailed than that, more intricate. There was more color in them, more styles overall.

As you were weighing your options, you were imagining Seonghwa in your mind, picturing how he’d look with each of them, what he’d wear with them, how it would look against his honey skin.

A few times, you got a little too wrapped up in your fantasies and had to pull yourself back.

You repeated the process until your eyes landed on the one. The one you could perfectly see Seonghwa wearing.

It was a choker with a large red stone in the center, with many others around it. There were a few diamonds around it as well, but they were quite small.

It could’ve been a crown.

“This one?” The older woman asked, knocking you out of your thoughts and back to reality. You shook yourself and nodded, smiling. “It’s quite expensive, are you sure?”

You looked at the price tag, and the necklace would definitely drain your bank account.

But you wanted it. You wanted him to have it.

“Yes,” you said, nodding. “I want that one.”

The older woman hesitated for a moment, but then she nodded as well, and went to wrap up the choker. You watched as she took it and put it into a silk lined velvet box, laying it out carefully, as if she could feel the price of every gemstone.

You followed her around the counter to where she was going to ring it up, trying your best to not be impatient. But the older woman couldn’t help but smile at your fidgeting and shifting around.

Just thinking about Seonghwa wearing it, how pretty the red would look against his skin, the chains around his pretty neck-

“Please insert your card, dear,” the older woman called, still smiling brightly.

You babbled out a “sorry” as you fumbled for your card to pay for the choker. The old woman was still smiling as you went through with the payment.

And yes, the choker was incredibly expensive. No, it didn’t count as a student expense.

But it was worth it for Seonghwa.

The older woman pushed the bag across the counter to you. “There you go.” She flashed that sweet, warm smile at you again as you carefully lifted the bag off the counter. “I’m sure he’ll love it.”

At that moment, you looked into her eyes. You looked for any deceit. Any lies. Any possible malice or potential push back.

But there was nothing. Just light and joy.

You smiled back and nodded as relief washed over you. “I think so too.”

You placed the bag underneath the Christmas tree, hiding it behind the present you got Wooyoung. Thankfully, the both of them were still asleep when you arrived back at the house.

A stark contrast to the night before, the house was quiet, and empty. No people, no music, nothing. Just a house, full of decorations.

But now, you were fortunate for everyone to be asleep so you could tuck your very expensive, very special present behind the others.

But since the moment you left the store, you were having doubts. You just spent a lot of money on Seonghwa. You bought him something very special, something most people don’t gift to others unless they’ve known each other for quite some time.

You hadn’t known Seonghwa for quite some time. In fact, most people would think you’re doing much more than you should so early on. Even you were thinking that.

But you couldn’t deny the ache in your chest when you thought about Seonghwa. The goddamn ache, the feeling that could’ve dropped you to your knees if you weren’t careful. The ache you felt all over your body when you didn’t get the chance to even hold his hand, to hug him, to be with him.

The crippling feeling when you thought about going back to campus and not seeing him for months.

Maybe you were falling too soon and too hard. Maybe this wasn’t right.

You moved to reach for the bag when you heard two doors open and close. As footsteps moved across the hardwood floor upstairs, you worked to get your jacket and shoes off as quickly and quietly as possible before the owners came downstairs.

You closed the door to the coat closet as Yeosang and Jongho made their way down the stairs, wearing what looked like Wooyoung’s shirts and shorts, their hair messy and eyes half open. You gave them the best smile you could muster at that point, but tried to not over do it.

“What are you doing up so early?” Jongho asked, his voice scratchy and low. Your eyes flicked up to the clock on the wall in the living room, above the TV, and it was just after seven. Would it be early if you were still on campus? No.

But you weren’t on campus, so yes, it was early.

But you realized you didn’t have an excuse as to why you were up so early.

“Your guess is as good as mine,” you babbled, trying to sound as nonchalant as you could manage. To your relief, the two half awake men in front of you weren’t in the mood to interrogate you.

“Us too,” Yeosang agreed, following Jongho into the kitchen. You did the same, getting glasses of water with them and sitting at the kitchen table.

None of you said anything for a few moments. You three were enjoying the early morning silence, the peace, the few stray strands of sunlight peeking in through the windows and stretching across the floor.

Eventually, Jongho broke the peaceful silence. “Do you think San and Wooyoung will be down before noon?”

Yeosang pretended to think as he took another sip from his glass. He looked off, as if into the distance, like he was prophesying about the future. You couldn’t help but laugh. The sound made Yeosang smile.

“No, I think they’ll be there until we go find them,” he concluded, finishing the rest of his water afterwards. You nodded in agreement, taking another sip from your glass.

“I expected the same from you.” Jongho looked at you over the rim of his glass as he sipped his water. You looked down as your face began to burn. You didn’t have an answer to that, so you kept quiet. But you knew your friends wouldn’t let you off easy.

Yeosang continued the conversation as he set his glass down in front of himself. “Yeah, it is a little weird that you’re awake so early, fully dressed, standing by the front door.”

Both men were looking at you now as you stared down at the table, your face burning like the sun, the heat pulsing in waves.

It’s not that you were worried that they’d spoil the surprise. You were more afraid of their opinions and judgements of the gift you got. You could handle the jokes and even fire back at them, and you welcomed the banter about the relationship you’d found yourself in.

But you were already beginning to have second thoughts about the expensive present sitting across the house, tucked away under the tree, hidden away from sight because you were embarrassed.

It was everything you were afraid of. Falling too hard too fast, committing to something larger than yourself, something you very well might not be ready for.

“Hey,” Jongho called, waving his hand close to your face. “You kinda spaced there, you okay?”

You blinked a few times, like you were rebooting yourself, and smiled as best you could. “Yeah, sorry, I’m good.”

“Are you sure?” Yeosang countered. Their slightly amused faces turned to ones of concern, their eyebrows down. They weren’t sure what exactly was in your head, but they knew it wasn’t nothing, like you were about to tell them it was.

And you knew they would push. But you didn’t want to vent all of your worries and fears and poor life choices at seven in the morning, especially when they didn’t know the full extent of the month’s events.

Thankfully, you had your out, as Wooyoung came down the stairs with San close behind. They both looked like they’d skipped the waking up part of waking up, with fluttering mostly closed eyes and their hair the best example of a “rat’s nest.”

Yeosang and Jongho looked up at them as they came into the kitchen, sliding their feet across the floor, hardly picking them up.

“Good morning, sunshine,” you said cheerfully, trying to steer the conversation to the two zombie looking men that strode in. The two men at the table, to your relief, joined you in teasing the others.

“The year hasn’t changed yet, just for reference,” Jongho threw out. Wooyoung rolled his eyes as he continued past the table to the cabinet to get himself and San a drink.

San followed him, stopping when he did, wrapping his arms around Wooyoung’s waist from behind and laying his head on the younger’s shoulder.

With the heat off you, you breathed a small sigh of relief. You knew this wouldn’t be the last of the conversation, but that would be a problem for future you to handle.

Seonghwa didn’t wake up until an hour after San and Wooyoung had. That was to be expected, after all the party planning and hosting he’d done the day prior. Not to mention, the emotional distress was quite draining.

Wooyoung helped him with breakfast, and you all ate with minimal conversation, of which you were grateful for. The less you spoke, the less chances you had to expose or incriminate yourself.

The rest of the morning was mostly slow and quiet. You were all still recovering and resting from the previous day, and dreading the end of Winter Break as a whole.

Classes started again in the second week of January, but you and Wooyoung had agreed to be back on campus by January 1st.

If you weren’t counting Christmas Eve, the day you were thinking all of this, you had only one week left. Seven more days until you had to leave.

It didn’t help that Seonghwa was being particularly clingy that day. He sat next to you at breakfast, he was holding your hand, he was giving you little kisses.

He hugged you from behind as you were helping with the dishes, holding you tight while his body pressed into yours.

He wordlessly demanded cuddles from you when everyone dispersed after breakfast. He pulled you onto the couch and held you tight, almost falling right back asleep when he did.

You didn’t think, or really even wanted to, ask why Seonghwa was so attached to you that day. You told yourself it was because he was tired. Or maybe he realized you would be leaving in a week too.

Whatever it was, you were conflicted.

You couldn’t stop thinking as you laid in Seonghwa’s arms, your head on his chest. You wanted to relax into his warmth and safety and let the tension melt off your body.

But you kept thinking of that goddamn choker. The choker you were so proud of finding, that you gladly spent so much money on, the choker that you knew would look amazing on him.

It was stuck in your head because you didn’t know if you were actually going to give it to him or not.

Maybe you’d just take it back to campus with you and save it for another time. Maybe you’d return it altogether. You’d just sit with Wooyoung as Seonghwa opened the Lego sets Wooyoung said you both could take credit for.

Maybe that was the safer option. Maybe that was the less crazy option.

But as you began to accept that conclusion and make peace with it, the ache was back.

As you listened to Seonghwa’s steady heartbeat, feeling his hand run up and down your back, the ache returned with a burning passion. Your breathing grew labored, like the ache was genuinely squeezing your heart and forcing the air out of your lungs.

Tears welled in your eyes as you imagined shoving the choker’s bag into your own and taking it back to campus with you. The ache spread to your arms and legs as you thought about never presenting the gift to him, and simply just watching him open the presents Wooyoung bought.

Your whole body hurt. It felt like a pulsing, squeezing pain, and you couldn’t escape it. You couldn’t stop the tears from running down your face.

You’d fallen in too deep. You fell too hard, too fast.

Everything you’d been afraid of had happened exactly as you thought it would.

By the time your friends left, the sky was already darkening again. As much as you all would’ve loved for them to stay, they had families to go home to as well.

You wondered how long it would be before San and Wooyoung were consistently going to each other’s family events. Or even hosting their own.

But it was hours since then, and you were sitting back on the couch with Seonghwa and Wooyoung. Seonghwa sat between the two of you, his arm around your shoulders, holding you tight against him, with Wooyoung sitting the same way.

But Wooyoung was stretched across most of the couch and his arms were dramatically thrown around Seonghwa, like he was a figure in a painting you’d find in an old museum.

You three had agreed to get snacks and drinks and watch Christmas movies until midnight, when you could open your gifts for each other.

But the movies kept getting interrupted by Wooyoung being impatient, general commentary, and before you all knew it, you were all talking again with the movies long forgotten.

In a way, you preferred this. The more time you spent talking, the less time you had to think about the impending time of your decision. But as the clock ticked down, as midnight drew closer, your efforts were in vain.

All you could think of was that goddamn choker. The repeated question of “will you, won’t you” flashing across your eyes like some kind of horror montage.

You started to feel sick. Your stomach was churning, your head felt light. You were pretty sure you were beginning to turn green. All over a fucking choker.

Midnight drew ever closer, and the dread in your stomach intensified and grew with every second that ticked by. Your eyes kept jumping back and forth, from the clock on the wall to the TV and back again.

You nearly jumped out of your skin when Wooyoung sat up and yelled, “It’s Christmas!”

Your hands were slightly shaking as Wooyoung got up from the couch and pulled you and Seonghwa along, dragging you across the room to kneel down by the Christmas tree.

The warm lights of the tree that once brought you comfort now nearly made you vomit.

You swallowed it back as you settled next to the tree on the hardwood floor, pushing the bag with the choker further back into the corner. Your wrapped your arm around your back in an effort to do so as subtly as possible.

Seonghwa also came to sit on the floor in front of the tree between you and Wooyoung, but only after he’d gotten a trash bag to put the discarded wrapping paper in. Wooyoung happily shoved a box towards Seonghwa, a huge smile stretched across his face.

“We got this one for you!” He dropped the present in Seonghwa’s lap as he reached over to grab the other boxes that had Seonghwa’s name on the tag. “And these ones too.”

Seonghwa pouted, but then smiled warmly at his son. Oh, how ethereal he looked under the light of the Christmas tree, delicately highlighting his warm skin and putting sparkles in his eyes.

You shook your head and came back to the present as Seonghwa began to tear the wrapping paper off the box in his lap. His smile grew bigger the more he revealed the box, and finally laughed in excitement.

“Oh, nae sarang,” Seonghwa sighed, putting the wrapping paper in the trash bag. “This is so sweet of you, thank you.”

Wooyoung was absolutely beaming, his smile outshining the tree beside him. His eyes flicked over to you, and you couldn’t help but share his smile. Seonghwa looked at you too, and your heart fluttered at the genuine gratitude in them.

“Thank you too, jagiya.”

You just nodded, your heart cracking a little.

But you happily watched Seonghwa tear open the rest of the boxes. His eyes lit up every time, laughing in pure joy at the brand new expensive Lego sets. You nodded every time he said thank you, but guilt pulled at your heart knowing you didn’t actually contribute in any way.

But Wooyoung didn’t seem to mind. He was just as happy seeing Seonghwa open the presents, as if he was the one receiving them instead of giving them out.

You were truly the luckiest person to have Wooyoung.

After Seonghwa had finished unwrapping the Lego boxes, he stacked them up and put them aside, and then pulled Wooyoung into a tight hug.

“Thank you, nae sarang,” he said softly, pressing a kiss to the top of his head.

“You’re welcome, Eomma,” Wooyoung whispered, squeezing Seonghwa tighter.

Your heart cracked again.

Wooyoung pulled away from Seonghwa and reached back under the tree for a bag. It looked fairly inconspicuous, just a regular white bag with white tissue paper sticking out the top. But in your experience with Wooyoung, quiet and boring was always suspicious.

Seeing your hesitation, Wooyoung sighed and rolled his eyes. “It’s not a bomb, don’t look at it like that,” he whined. “Just open it.”

“It’s a bag, it’s already open,” you teased, to which Wooyoung groaned and rolled his head back. Both you and Seonghwa let out a soft giggle.

“Just open it, please!”

With another giggle, you pulled the tissue paper aside and looked into the bag, seeing a bundle wrapped in more tissue paper. You carefully pulled it out and pulled the paper off to reveal the gift.

“Wooyoung,” you breathed as you looked over the expensive outfit in your hands. The logo on the tag was what you saw first, your head shooting up to look at him in bewilderment. “What is this?”

“Clothes, dummy,” he answered with his award winning smile again. “Now you don’t have to borrow my clothes for events.”

You know his comment was a joke, but his words went straight to your heart. You hadn’t asked for this, Hell, you didn’t even think about buying it for yourself.

But you finally had a nice outfit for events, or parties.

Or maybe even future restaurant dates.

“Thank you.” You carefully folded the clothes back up, as if they’d unravel in your hands, and laid them back in the bag.

“You don’t have to thank me, it was a necessity.”

You rolled your eyes, to which Wooyoung just smiled. You couldn’t stop yourself from doing the same.

“Is it my turn now?” Seonghwa asked as you put the bag aside. Your eyes caught a glimpse of your own gift behind the tree again.

“Sure,” you breathed, your lungs shrinking. Wooyoung eagerly reached under the tree and grabbed a box, wrapped in gold wrapping paper, with his name written on it in Hangul.

He wasted no time in shredding the paper, almost reminiscent of a cat, and revealed a large, expensive laptop. Wooyoung just stared at it for a few moments with his jaw hanging open, his eyes the size of dinner plates.

“Eomma,” he whispered, then looked up at Seonghwa. “When I said I wanted a new one, I wasn’t serious,” he started to explain, but Seonghwa held up his hand to stop him.

“I don’t care, I wanted to get it for you. And I think college would be a little difficult with a broken laptop.”

You held back a giggle remembering the moment Wooyoung dramatically wailed about how he accidentally knocked his previous laptop off a table and onto the linoleum floor of the classroom.

Wooyoung just stared at Seonghwa for a few moments, like he was about to tell his son it was all a joke. But when Seonghwa just smiled at him, in the warm mom way, Wooyoung smiled too and hugged the box.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, nae sarang.”

Wooyoung set the box aside carefully, slowly setting it down beside him, making sure it would be safe before he turned to you and Seonghwa.

You looked up at Seonghwa, and he smiled at you warmly before he reached over and squeezed your hand. “Your present comes later.”

It took every ounce of strength to not burst into tears right then and there. You just mustered up the best smile you could and nodded. There was no teasing look in Seonghwa’s eyes, no allusion to more. Just his warm smile and bright eyes.

“Eomma, I didn’t need to know that,” Wooyoung groaned dramatically, speaking loudly as he flung himself back to lay on the floor. You rolled your eyes as Seonghwa pulled his hand away and looked back at Wooyoung.

“It’s not like that,” he began, but Wooyoung just whined again.

“If you’re gonna be like that, then I won’t give you your present,” you added as you pulled out a large, black bag from under the tree, with black wrapping paper sticking out of it.

Wooyoung shot up and looked at you, and then at the bag, then back again in confusion. His brows went down as he opened his mouth to question you, but you just slid the bag across the floor to him.

“I’ve had them hidden for months,” you explained as wooyoung grabbed the bag.

“Them?”

“Yes, them, now go look!”

Wooyoung looked at the bag again, this time with a look of concern instead of confusion, like something was about to jump out at him. He studied the still bag for a few more moments before he finally pulled out the tissue paper and looked inside.

And he pulled out two small plushies: A black cat and a red fox.

Wooyoung gasped as he pulled them out, then hugged them tightly. “You remembered!” He exclaimed as he looked at them again, turning them over and admiring all the little details.

Months prior, Wooyoung wouldn’t stop talking about these plushies he wanted. He had a collection going, and he needed those two to complete it, but he never had a chance to get them.

So one night, you did. You ordered them online and hid them in your dorm for months, waiting for the day you could’ve given it to Wooyoung.

And here you were, on Christmas Day, finally seeing his eyes light up like stars as he looked at them both, hugging them like they were his children.

The sight helped alleviate some of the tension in your chest.

“Thank you,” he finally said to you as he looked up. You smiled, and this time, it was genuine.

“You’re welcome.”

Meanwhile, Seonghwa was smiling just as brightly. The mom smile you adored, the softness in his eyes as he looked at you both with unending fondness.

It cracked your heart all over again.

With all your presents exchanged, Seonghwa and Wooyoung collected their gifts and went to bring them to their rooms.

You did the same, but hid the choker bag in the gift bag Wooyoung gave you, and ran to your room to hide it there.

How ridiculous this all was. You bought the choker for Seonghwa, you brought it home, you’d imagined how beautiful he’d look with it. You’d walked out of that store knowing he’d gratefully accept the gift, and you were excited to see him wear it.

But how could you give someone like him something like this? This was far too much money for someone you haven’t known for nearly enough time.

But you bought it because of the goddamn pain in your chest. The suffocating, choking ache that grew ever stronger every day. It invaded every part of your body, it was in your blood and bones. Even if you wanted to smother it and shove it away, it would take forever.

You knew what it was. You knew why it was there.

But you didn’t have the courage to say it. Which is why the choker was getting shoved in the duffle bag and into the closet as you fought back tears.

Maybe you’d give it to Seonghwa another day. Maybe as a birthday present, whenever that was.

But not now. You couldn’t do it now.

As you wiped the tears from your eyes, there was a gentle knock at the door before it opened a little.

“May I come in?” It was Seonghwa, you knew it was him before he even spoke.

You nodded, as if he could see that, as you said “yes” and sat down on the bed. Seonghwa came into the room and carefully shut the door behind him before he came to sit down next to you.

In his hand was a square, navy, velvet box, about the side of a small plate. He held it out to you with a warm smile that would have melted the coldest of hearts. You took the box from him carefully, like it would disappear at any second, and were surprised when it had a little weight to it.

“It’s okay,” he said softly when you hesitated, putting one of his hands over yours. You looked up and met his big, brown eyes again. “It’s all yours, jagiya.”

You just nodded, because you couldn't think of anything meaningful to say as your eyes fell back down to the box in your hands.

You shoved away the guilt that stirred in your gut as you slowly opened the velvet case, and tears welled in your eyes all over again.

It’s like Seonghwa knew you were buying him a choker earlier, and that you wanted something with more detail and intricacies.

A necklace, but there were gemstones all up the chain with a larger one hanging from the bottom. The gemstones on the chain were small and simple. not trying to be in the way, but just to elevate the chain.

The larger, square cut gemstone that hung from the ornate chain was meant to be in the way. It wasn’t obnoxiously large, no, it was just perfect.

Everything was perfect. You were blinking back tears, it was so perfect.

“Seonghwa, this is beautiful,” you whispered, your throat closing up. You ran your fingers over the gemstones, almost like you needed to touch it to see if it was real.

Seonghwa was beaming, lighting up the whole room with his smile as he watched you admire the necklace. “You said you wanted something to show off.”

“And I will.” You carefully lifted the necklace out of the box, and as you were going to put it on, Seonghwa stopped you and reached up to take it.

“May I?” Two simple words. Words that were very small and insignificant to anyone else.

But this moment felt like much more than just putting on a necklace.

It almost felt sacred. Intimate. Like a ceremony.

You nodded and gave the necklace to Seonghwa. He moved closer and wrapped it around your neck, reaching over your shoulder to clasp it behind your neck. You felt your face burn at how close he was, with his arms around you, his body enveloping yours.

But he pulled back just a few seconds later to admire how the beautiful piece sat against your skin. Seonghwa’s eyes lit up like stars as his smile spread across his whole face again. “I knew it was perfect,” he said softly as he ran his fingers down the chain.

If your heart could beat any harder, the large stone on the necklace would’ve started shaking. It was a bizarre feeling, to be so guilty and torn up, but so elated, and desire the man before you.

And when Seonghwa’s eyes flicked up to yours, it’s as if he could see it all. Every tear, every smile, eerie second guess you’d ever had. Like he could see the entire month of December replaying in your eyes in those few seconds.

There were no other words spoken as Seonghwa leaned close and pressed his lips to yours. It was a soft kiss, feather light. Loving.

When Seonghwa laid you down on your back, your body turned to putty in his hands. Your limbs were growing weak as you wrapped them around his body. You wanted him as close as close could be, wanted to remember his taste, every soft moan as he breathed his life into every kiss, the touch of his hands on every part of your body.

You wanted it all. And Seonghwa was more than happy to provide.

The first day of the new year had come and gone. The thirty one days of December went by faster than they had in previous years.

But as you and Wooyoung loaded your bags back up into his car, you were anything but joyful.

“We’ll visit again during Spring Break,” he reassured you as he closed the trunk. “And it’s not like you don’t have his number, you can still talk to him.”

Wooyoung was trying his best to reassure you, but his face fell when he realized nothing was working. Everything he was telling you, you already knew it. Obviously you’d see Seonghwa again, and you’d probably be texting him at least once every few days, if not every day.

The world was not ending. This blissful period did, but it wasn’t the end of everything. You’d be back, you’d see Seonghwa again.

But the months between January 1st and Spring Break would be difficult after the month you’d just lived through.

It felt juvenile. You were a grown adult in college, working towards a degree to hopefully secure a good career and have a comfortable life. You had classes to worry about, not your boyfriend who’s double your age.

But he wouldn’t ever leave your head. You knew in your head that when you went back to class, he’d probably be there in the back of your head.

An effort in mental gymnastics is what these next few months would hold.

Wooyoung brought you back up to the house for your final goodbyes. Seonghwa was standing in the open doorway, dressed in a cream knitted sweater with black sweatpants. Normally, he was dressed up in some way, even if it was a pajama set. Today, he hadn’t bothered with fashion.

Wooyoung hugged him first, squeezed him so tight, he lifted Seonghwa off the floor. For the first time that morning, you smiled as they both laughed. The noise of surprise and protest Seonghwa let out just made Wooyoung hoist him up more, until all three of you were laughing.

“How could you put your poor eomma through such things?” Seonghwa asked in a perfectly dramatic voice as he made a show of fixing his hair and sweater.

“As if you’re any better,” Wooyoung teased. Seonghwa just smiled and kissed his head, to which Wooyoung reciprocated with a cheek kiss.

“Be safe, nae sarang.”

“I will, Eomma.”

They exchanged an “I love you” before Wooyoung walked away, and gave you a nod before he went to sit in the car to wait.

It was like a movie scene. The sun was setting, the snow was falling. The sunset colors illuminated your face as Seonghwa gave you a half hearted smile.

You wordlessly hugged him tightly, and he instantly returned the hug. You two stayed there in that hug, silently clinging onto each other like it would be the last time.

It wouldn’t be the last time. Far from it.

But you both found something that December. You found someone. And it was so special, you couldn’t bear to lose it.

As you pulled back to look up at him, the little voice was in your head again. Telling you that you were taking this too seriously, that you shouldn’t have been so upset, that this wasn’t a big deal.

The voice disappeared as Seonghwa pulled you into another loving kiss. The idea that this was a movie scene popped back into your head as he held your cheek and kept you close.

You could've sworn you heard your heart break when you both pulled away.

“Be safe,” Seonghwa softly said onto your lips. You nodded as you painstakingly pulled out of his arms.

“I will. You too.”

Seonghwa gave you another small smile. His eyes flicked down to the necklace that you still wore. You’d worn it every day since the night he gave it to you, and kept it in it’s case every night.

You smiled back before you forced yourself to walk back to Wooyoung’s car. Seonghwa watched from the doorway until Wooyoung’s car disappeared, and he could no longer hear it.

Wooyoung reached over the center console and held your hand, lacing his fingers with yours and squeezing. He didn’t need to say anything, no words needed to be said.

But as you were swallowing back the tightness in your throat and blinking back tears, the comfort felt good. The firm squeeze was what you needed, as you both were headed back to campus, unsure of where life was going to bring you both next.

Thank you for reading! Please reblog if you enjoyed! 💜

This is a work of fiction written by me. This does not represent the idol(s) in any way. Any re-upload is not allowed and will be reported.

#ateez #ateez fanfiction #ateez fanfic #ateez fic #ateez ff #ateez x reader #ateez seonghwa #park seonghwa #seonghwa #seonghwa fanfiction #seonghwa fanfic #seonghwa fic #seonghwa ff #seonghwa x reader #best friend's mother

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baby-yongbok · 1 year

Text

My Savior?

Yandere!Hyunjin x Sadodere!BangChan x Fem!Reader

Genre: Angst, non idol

Warnings: Yandere, Manipulation, Jealousy, swearing, Stalking, obsession, mentions of murder, physical abuse (towards reader), threats (towards reader), description of injuries, possessiveness, gaslighting. If any of these tags trigger you than PLEASE do not read or continue with caution! (Sorry if I missed any tags)

✨Masterlist ✨

Word Count: 1922

Note: Hyunjin and Third Person POV

Summary: You and Hyunjin go way back. You've know each other since your senior year of university and your friendship meant a lot to eachother, you just didn't know that it still meant a lot to Hyunjin. He values you as more than a friend and your boyfriend Chan is anything but happy about that. Chan plans to let you know just how unhappy he is with you trying to rekindle your friendship with Hyunjin but when things get heated a certain someone is there to 'save the day'.

Hyunjin's POV

There she goes again, switching those fucking hips so hard. She clearly likes the attention it brings her, the men around her breaking their necks to get a better look at her beautiful --

" Hyunjin?" Fuck, she saw me. I was going to try to surprise her.

"Y/n, hey." I've been practicing my surprised face for a moment like this one. It's pretty hard to be 'surprised' to see someone that you see everyday. "What are you doing out here? Don't you live across town?"

"You know I can't resist Ron's coffee, what about you? It's been forever since I've seen you, where have you been?" To answer your question, yes, I do know that you can't resist the coffee here. You've been coming to this cafe every Saturday and Wednesday after yoga class since our senior year of college. I'm honestly surprised that you stuck with Yoga for two whole years. You've always been bad at committing to things.

"Oh, you know, I've been around. Been doing a little bit of everything, a lot of freelancing."

"That sounds great, I know it can be a bit challenging for photographers to make a living out here but you're so talented I know that you'll find a permanent spot soon." She's smiling, so I can't help but to do the same. She's so cute and foolish. I'll never settle at one job, I need to be close to her. I made a promise never to be more than two miles from her at all times just in case--.

"Y/n." Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. No, no, no. Not him, what the fuck is he doing here.

"Chan, hey, I thought you'd never show up. This is Hyunjin, we went to Uni together. Hyunjin, this is my boyfriend Chan." Oh, I know who he is, Bang Christopher Chan, twenty-five years old, born October third which makes him a libra. I could go on and on about your cute little scumbag here.

"Nice to meet you." I offer my hand to him and his icy stare meets my burning one. He doesn't budge, you can barely tell that he's breathing. You wanna be a tough guy? Two can play that game.

"Chan" Y/n nudges him in his side and he serves her a disapproving glare. Running my hand through my hair I smile over at y/n.

"It's fine, some people have a hard time containing their jealousy when they're around me."

"Come on, y/n, we'll be late." Late? You don't have anywhere to be. She would've put it in her Google Calendar.

"Uh, right. Well um, Hyunjin it was awesome seeing you. Text me sometime." He grips the back of her neck and guides her past me just as she went in for a hug. I'd be lying if I said it didn't take everything in me not to snatch her from him. She doesn't need someone like him, always so cold towards her. Does he even have a heart? How could you not smile at the sight of her short curly hair, her bright eyes and crooked smile. How could you resist such a ravishing woman? It takes everything in me not to step out of her closet in the mornings and fuck her right over her desk.

Before I could say my goodbye the cafe door closed behind them and Chan looked back at me with a smirk. My jaw clenched at the sight, he thinks he's got her. He thinks he can take her from me, he thinks this is goodbye. It is far from goodbye, it's see you later. Maybe, tonight.

Third person POV

"Why would you tell him to text you later?" The echo of Chan slamming his car keys down on the table in the main hallway echoed through the quiet apartment. Y/n trailed in behind him, annoyance evident in her eyes and tone.

"I told you a thousand times, I was being kind. Hyunjin and I haven't seen each other in a year and a half. We were best friends and I've missed him." That's all she had to say to trigger him, he turned swiftly, caging her body against the hallway wall with his arms on either side of her body. He leaned down to her, inches away from her face and snarled.

"You what?"

"I- I said that.. I missed.. him." A smirk plays upon Chan's lips, it deepens into a smile as he processes what she just had the nerve to tell him.

"You shouldn't say things that you don't mean, Y/n. That makes you a liar and no love of mine is going to be a liar. You do not miss him." A stiff laugh spills from Chan's lips causing y/n to shiver and squeeze her eyes shut. She knew that Chan could get jealous to say the least but he's never come off this… Intense. "Listen, baby, I don't want you talking to him okay? I think that's a simple request and I expect you to follow it. Am I clear?"

The silence that followed Chan's question seemed to worsen the situation almost instantly, slamming his hands against the wall he inches closer to her until they are practically sharing the same breath. "Am I fucking clear, y/n?"

"Yes." Her answer is firm and rushed, it's also a lie. She knew that if Hyunjin were to message her, she'd answer. How could she not? Their friendship goes so far back it would just be rude to ignore him.

"Good, pet." Backing away from her Chan turns his attention towards the living room. "I'm Ordering thai, I'll get your usual "

Y/n stood there, shaken and silent as she watched Chan walk away. Little did she know that Hyunjin had seen the whole thing, it was moments like these that he was thankful for installing those nano-cameras a year ago. It was times like these that Hyunjin was tempted to burst through the front door and save her from him, but he knew he had to wait just a little longer.

➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖

"Who's that?" Y/n's phone chime triggered Chan to speak for the first time in almost two hours. The two had been sitting in the living room in silence flipping through channels until they came across a Criminal Minds marathon. Pressing her home button, y/n checks her phone then shrugs her shoulders seconds after.

"Just an Instagram notification. " Her gaze settles back onto the TV screen but Chan's is fixed on her.

"Are you sure about that?" Y/n's eyes quickly meet Chan's before she averts her gaze to his chest.

"Yes, Chris, I am sure." Her tone, that's what did it. That's what got him started, what caused the corners of his lips to curve into a cynical smile. The violent exhale that followed caused y/n to squirm in her seat a bit, fear bubbling in her stomach.

"I thought I just told you..." Lifting himself and swiftly leaning over y/n like a shadow, Chan grasps the front of her neck and pushes her head back slightly cutting off her air supply. "I don't fucking like liars, and yet, here we are.

The small gasps that y/n managed to let out filled the room along with the noise of a car commercial on the TV. Chan's eyes bore into hers like he was searching for something he hasn't been able to find for years. Like he was waiting for her to look the least bit sorry. Releasing his grip on her neck he swings his arm and the back of his hand sweeps across her cheek harshly causing y/n to shift in her seat. Grabbing a handful of hair he pulls her head back to look him in the eyes and his disturbing yet amused face has shifted to an icy stare.

"How many times am I going to have to telling you the same fucking thing?" His voice was calm yet bitter. "Do I have to beat it into you? Maybe fuck you into submission? Solitary confinement, maybe."

Y/n's heart was beating at nearly a million beats per second but that was nothing compared to Hyunjin's. The sound of Chan's words rang through his head like a church bell. Today was the day that he had to go and save her. Before he knew it he was out of his car and across the street. The sound of y/n whimpering spilled from the cracked window and he used that as his green light. It was almost like he could hear her calling his name in each cry.

Using his copy of the key that he made, Hyunjin busted into the apartment closing the door behind him and rushing to the living to find a half dressed y/n with red marks in a uniform pattern down her back. Her tear littered face turned to look up at him and he felt his heart flutter and sink all at once.

"What the fuck are --" before Chan could finish his sentence Hyunjin had charged at him. Hands balled into fists and ready to fire. Pinning Chan to the ground, Hyunjin had the upper hand for a while. Landing punches in places that were sure to bruise later and remind Chan of this day, this moment.

"What the…" Y/n's voice trailed off into a whisper of silence as she crawled away from the altercation scrambling to her feet. She watched, confused and in pain from the punishment that Chan administered seconds ago.

Chan managed to push Hyunjin off of him and land a strong punch to his nose. The two scrambled to stand and stood across from each other, smirking.

"How fucking dare you touch her like that." All Chan did was chuckle darkly and shake his head slightly.

"I was wondering what it would take for you to come out of hiding." Hyunjin's eyes widened, he knew?

"Now what? Gonna save the day? Take her from me and run away to the land of butterflies and rainbows? " Chan glares at Hyunjin with a cocky grin as he wipes the blood from his nose.

"You don't deserve her, it's me that she needs. I'd never harm her, that's all you seem to know how to fucking do." Chan claps sarcastically causing Hyunjin to snarl aggressively.

"How sweet, but you're missing one key piece…" taking a step closer to Hyunjin, Chan sticks his hands in his pockets. "I'm not letting her go. She's mine, she belongs to me. I won her before you did and I don't plan on letting her go anytime--"

"I'll take her from you, I know her better. I can love her better than you ever imagined you could. " Turning around to face a frightened y/n, Hyunjin smiles. "Baby, let me finally take care of you… I've been here everyday since senior year waiting for you."

"W- what do you mean everyday? You've been.. in my house?" Y/n's visible trembling breaks Hyunjin's heart but he's too far past his capacity of emotional vulnerability to aid her at the moment.

"Of course, Darling, I've been here all along. Watching you sleep, eat, and get hurt by this monster. Now is finally my chance to protect you from him. I'll do whatever I have to do to get you away from him."

"Kill me, that's what you'd have to do. And even then I'd find a way." Hyunjin and Chan stare at each other almost as if it's a game and y/n is the prize.

"Murder, eh? I can do that."

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captainlunaxmen · 1 month

Text

All For the Cameras

Chapter 11

Finnick Odair x fem!reader

Chapter 11 ladies and gentlemen!🥳

I'm sorry for keeping you waiting so much, but with my life right now, it's hard to find any good time to put my mind into writing.

Chapter summary: time to deal with the aftereffects of Capitol's imprisonment.

Chapter warning: mention of being raped, description of torture, panic attack, Finnick being a sweetie pie.

Tag list

@guacam011y @justtrying2getby @idontevenknow1359 @alexandra-001 @bambikitten @maggiecc @redh00dsbf @haneybunny @1-800-styles @sisiking99 @merromimo @yourdailymemedelivery @regsg18 @gordorio @bambikitten @gracieeleanorr @shev3nom @honethatty12 @savingprivatecass @erindiggory @martahabla @sterredem @aawdrea @wpdarlingpan @strawberry--fawn @barbarathewanderer @ih8books @a-mysterious-potato @mayonesavegana @celinaiscrying @katherinejess @meri-soni-meri-tamanna @abaker74 @syd649 @meikoo @secretsicanthideanymore @p1stachi @laylasshiftingtonight @yourmumstoy @s0urw00lf @kermits-bitch @littleshadow17

@piya-re @ivymyers @potao-o @wqstedyouths @kaceyh24 @miniatureblazellama @lillell4670 @11jaz @f1blogs @ooddiieesblog

I'm sorry if I can't tag everyone😔🥺

Masterlist

Finnick's Pov

Finnick is back at making knots, he need to keep his hands busy. Katniss and him are waiting for any news in his room.

"She's the reason we got ready on time." Katniss suddenly says.

"Uh?"

"Coin told me that Peeta confirmed her fears, but Y/n's message got her to be ready." She explains.

"Yeah? What did she say?" Finnick can't help but ask.

"Quick. Hide. Attack." She replies, "she had to choose her words carefully, but she managed."

"She's smart." Finnick wipes away a tear, "always been. I just hope they're okay."

"Me too." She whispers softly.

They stay in silence, waiting and waiting.

Finnick fears they're been sitting here for ages now. Thankfully, the door opens and Haymitch's head appears.

"They're back."

They on they feet in no time, running to the hospital side of the building.

As they enter the room they immediately hear Johanna screaming and snapping at the nurses and doctors.

"Johanna.." Kantiss gasps.

Her head is shaved and she looks like she's not been eating for weeks.

As Katniss sees and runs to Gale, Haymitch and Finnick follows her, Boggs being close.

"Where's Y/n?" Finnick can't help himself.

"She's resting." He answers.

"Why?!" Finnick's panicking hands holds the knot, "did something happen... is she okay?"

"It's not serious... but she was bleeding when we got to them." Boggs reassures him.

"What..?"

"Calm down." Haymitch puts a hand on his shoulder, "can we see her?"

"Of course, she's in the room next to Peeta's." Boggs makes way and they follow him.

They enter, quietly not to wake her up in case she's resting.

"Miss L/n?" Boggs calls.

"Please..." her broken voice almost brings tears in Finnick's eyes, "stop it..."

"It's alright, you're safe.." Boggs reassures her, he signals Finnick and Haymitch to stop where they are, "I promise, you are safe now. And... There's someone here for you."

"I'm... stop...pl.. please."

"What did they do to her?" Finnick broken voice comes out in a whisper, Haymitch hardly hears it.

"She's safe now. Let's focus on that, okay?" Haymitch puts a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

"Y/n... I'm colonel Boggs, district 13's head of security. You're in 13." Boggs tries again, "you are safe."

"It's not real, it's not real, it's not real..." she keeps repeating, using her hands as a shield to cover her face.

"I'm not sure, now's the best time. Whatever they did to her, I think it's-" Boggs starts to explain.

"Y/n..?" Finnick can't stop her name coming out of his mouth, he watches her stopping her movement. If before she was rocking back and forth covering her face, now she's as still as a rock. "Y/n... it's me."

The other two watch the scene carefully, silently.

Their eyes fixed on her next move. She slowly move her hands down, hesitantly. Her eyes carefully raise to look up at him, only to fill up with tears once they're set fully on him.

"No... don't... please." She cowers back, shaking her head.

"I'm here, my love." Finnick instinctively rushes to her, when she flinches he stops, raising his hands up, "I promise."

"Oh no..." she sobs, "they caught you too..."

"No... no, my love." He's fully crying now.

"It's all my fault, it's all my fault, it's... all my fault... it's all...." she keeps whispering.

"Love..." Finnick tries again, but she's almost deaf to his voice. He looks at Haymitch for support, but finds him completely powerless.

"Y/n... it's alright." Haymitch moves to come closer, but a loud noise from the room next to hers catches their attention.

"What's going on?" Haymitch asks, Boggs immediately rushes out, "I'll be right back."

Finnick goes back at looking at Y/n, her small figure breaks his heart into millions of pieces. He searches into her for a glimpse of the fighter he knows, he notices it... he notices her hand blindly moving on the mattress towards him, he doesn't think she's completely aware of it.

He takes a deep breath and reaches out to touch her hand. Once their hands touch she retreats her hand and her eyes shoot back to him in less than a second. They stare into each other's eyes, Finnick stays as still as he can, afraid that any movement could make her run or disappear. After a long, never ending moment she reaches again for his hand.

"Is that... are you..." she takes shaky breaths looking at any part of his face, "you're real..?"

"I am..." he nods, trying again to hold her hand, she lets him, "I'm real, I'm here... and we're in district 13."

"13..?" She gaps, "really?"

"Really, my love." He nods, bringing her hand to his lips to kiss the back of it, "we're really here."

"Are..." she tries to fight her broken voice, "are you sure?"

"Very." He nods again, "you're not in the Capitol anymore. You're with me."

"I'm sorry... I'm afraid I'll ask you that too many times."

"You can ask me as much as you need to," Finnick tells her softly, "and I'll answer each time."

She starts to sob, and brings a hand to cover her mouth, Finnick can see her relieved smile and can finally feel some calmness after so long.

"Oh my god..." she lets out an incredulous laugh, but it ends quickly when they hear a knock on the door.

"Can we come in?"

"It's Haymitch." Finnick tells her.

"Haymitch's here?"

"Yes, we're all here, I promise. Katniss, Beetee, Plutarch. Safe." Finnick explains, "can he come in? Is that okay?"

When she nods Finnick calls for Haymitch to enter.

"Hey, princess." Haymitch greets as he enters the room, "how do you feel?"

"I... I think I'm... not in danger..." she answers on a soft voice.

"Well, we take what we can get." Haymitch smiles.

"What... happened?" She asks motioning to the room.

"I..." Haymitch's hesitant, he looks at Finnick for support, but Y/n's voice regain his attention.

"I can take it, Haymitch." She smiles, tiredly.

Finnick too smiles, happy to see her regaining her fight.

"Peeta attacked Katniss."

"What?" Finnick asks, alarmed and confused.

"We don't know why..." Haymitch shakes his head, "it doesn't make sense."

"Where is he now?" She asks, pulling her hand back to herself.

"Sedated."

Y/n nods, understanding. When she starts fidgeting again, Finnick gently takes her hands.

"It's okay." He whispers softly.

"I can see the gears in your head working, L/n, what is it?" Haymitch asks.

"Uh...it does make sense." She simply says, "it makes so much sense."

"What do you mean?"

"I..."

A knock interrupts her, and Plutarch's head comes into view.

"May I?" He asks, and opens the door once he got a nod, "how are you feeling?"

"Can I not get asked that question for the next... 10 years?" She weakly chuckle and Finnick squeeze her hands.

"Of course." Plutarch smiles reassuringly, "may I introduce you to someone?"

"I... guess."

"Do you think this is the right time?" Finnick asks, getting protective.

"We're heading towards a war, mr Odair, we can't afford such thing as right time." He states before opening the door again, letting President Coin in.

Y/n sits up straight, getting a pang of pain, Finnick's immediately checking on her, but gets dismissed almost immediately.

"Easy, miss L/n. I'm president Coin, I came here to thank you personally." President Coin smiles. "If it weren't for your hidden messages, we would've never been ready on time for the attack. You helped save lots of lives."

"I... it was really the least I could do, ma'am." Y/n casts her eyes down, at her hands in Finnick's.

"You risked your life. Without knowing for sure if we even could get those messages, we owe you." President Coin continues, "Thank you."

Y/n and Coin look at each other, Y/n still looks like she thinks herself not deserving a thank you.

"You're welcome." She nods, grateful.

"Whatever you need, I'd be honoured to be of assistance." The president adds.

"Thank you... especially for rescuing us."

"Sorry, to interrupt this moment, but we were hoping you could give us some more information." Plutarch chimes in.

"She just got here, coul-" Finnick starts, but her hand squeezing his stops him.

"It's okay." She whispers to him, then referring to everyone, "I might have some... clarification on what's going on with Peeta..."

They all listen carefully at what Y/n is explaining.

Finnick notices her wincing a little when she talks about Peeta's treatment. He wants to ask more, but he decides to give her more time.

He owes her.

Y/n's Pov

The first hours here in 13 have been... surreal, to say the least.

I still find it hard to believe this, I'm so afraid everything will turn out to be just another illusion created by the Capitol to torture me. Sometimes I can't even look at Finnick... touching his hands is a comfort... most of the time, but seeing him is simply too difficult now. He keeps talking to me, to keep me grounded, I think, keeping the nightmares away at least when I'm awake. I try to keep a brave face, though I fear he sees right through it sometimes.

"You don't have to, if you don't feel good." He tells me as we follow Boggs to Katniss' hospiral room.

"It's okay. I promise." I say, looking straight ahead.

"You don't have to be so brave all the time." He grabs my hand, to reassure me. I squeeze it back and take mine back almost immediately.

"Here." Boggs opens a door for us.

"Thank you." I say entering and as soon as I see Katniss I rush to her.

I'm so glad to see Prim there too. Knowing her mother and sister are safe are a relief.

I see her trying to speak, but Prim stops her.

"It's okay... I-I'm sorry." I tell her sitting next to her, seeing her confused expression I add, "I.."

"She thinks it's her fault." Finnick explains, "one of the many gifts from the Capitol."

I unconsciously flinch at that, the guilt eating me every moment of the day, I try to rationalise it, think that it can't be all my fault... but I can't stop it.

Katniss puts her hand on mine, to comfort me, so I look at her with a sad smile.

"Good, you're already here." Plutarch walks in, followed by Beetee and Gale too, "we can start with the explanations."

"Yes, uh... what they did to Peeta is called, they call it, hijacking." I start, fidgeting with my hands once again, "I think they started doing... it to him as soon as they got us... uh...it's about using fear to change the person's perception."

"They enhance it with tracker jacker venom." Beetee adds. "You were stung your first games, remember?"

Katniss blink once, which makes me assume is yes.

"Exactly... uh..." I take a deep breath, "the venom sort of helps the subject dissociate... then they use shocks and beating to torture them... then all that fear and anger is reassociate with something else, person, memory... place..." I try to not let my broken voice show.

"They can change his memories of Katniss?" Prim asks me.

"Yes, if she was once his friend, now he's been tortured to see her as the enemy." I say.

"But why?" Gale asks, I look at him, he looks like he doesn't believe any of what I said, or he's just really confused.

"They turned him into a weapon, Katniss." Haymitch says, "to kill you."

"That's too easy, Haymitch..." I scoff out a laugh, "nothing is easy at the Capitol."

I notice Gale rolling his eyes, but saying nothing. I can sense he doesn't trust me.

"But you can reverse it." Prim guesses.

"The fear is the most difficult thing to overcome. We're hardwired to remember fear best." Beetee explain and I nod, sadly.

"It's new terrain," Plutarch chimes in, "but we've put together a team. I'm optimistic."

"Yeah... optimism won't do it this time." I scoff again.

"If any of this is true." Gale mutters and my head snaps to his direction.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Finnick asks, annoyed.

"What everyone here thinks." Gale answers, just as annoyed.

"Which is, mr Hawthorne?" I ask, as cold as I've ever been.

"As if you can't figure it out." He replies, jaw clenching with annoyance.

"Enlighten me." I challenge, Gale looks around and sighs deeply.

Everyone is either confused or frustrated by Gale's comment. Finnick and Haymitch particularly mad.

"You're Capitol's Princess. That says it all." He finally speaks again.

"Care to elaborate?" Haymitch asks, I don't think I've ever seen him this mad.

"What guarantees she's telling the truth? Or that she's not just a spy?" Gale asks.

"You think Peeta's actually mad at Katniss?" Prim's soft voice asks.

"You saw what he said on TV." Is Gale's answer which makes me actually laugh. The others looks at me confused while Gale's still angry.

"What?" I ask, "wasn't that a joke? Oh sorry."

"Do you think we're joking here?" Gale snaps again.

"Oh fuck off, will you?" I almost shout, standing up, "let me fucking guess, you're one of the people who believed Katniss and Peeta were actually in love in their first games? Despite knowing her, nonetheless." I ask and when he says nothing I go on, "you think yourself so smart, so above the 'lies' the Capitol tells everyone, but you're not. You're really not. They fooled you." I laugh again, frustration finally getting out.

He stays silent, answering my question.

"I think you should go, mr Hawthorne." Plutarch says.

"No, no, let him stay, let him stay." I rush out, "do you want to know what was actually happening?" He says nothing, "Hell. Hell was happening."

"Sure.." he says unconvinced.

"Yeah... of course you believe all the bullshit about the Princess, don't you?" I say, a bit calmer, shaking my head disappointed. "Did you know I had a brother?" I notice with the corner of my eyes Finnick lowering his head, he's one of the few who knows. "Did you?" I stress.

"No." Gale firmly says.

"That's because he was killed, right in front of me, because I dared to say no. Then Snow threatened to kill everyone else I care about if I refused again, and by that time I befriended almost all the mentors and victors. He got leverage. But that's still nothing, you all lost people because of the Capitol, nothing special right?" I see him swallowing nervously, "I bet you think the Victors' lives are a piece of cake. No. Once you win, you're a prisoner. If the Capitol find you attractive enough, you're sold." I look at Finnick, he nods reassuringly, "you either get sold or you're family pays. And the downside of being Capitol's sweet princess is people finding you just as attractive. So I was sold too. That's how I met Cal. His father paid for me, and I couldn't say no. I couldn't say no to anything he wanted to do. Anything." My voice starts to break. "He lived this as a love story, so engraved in his delusion that he felt this as a personal betrayal. He was the one torturing me every time."

"Y/n..." Finnick calls me softly, but I shake my head.

"Do you want to know what Peeta has been through there?" I look at Gale with tears in my eyes, " because I know... I was there, at every session, each noise, each silence, each... scream... I heard it all, not even my own pain could suppress it."

"I.." Gale starts, but I'm not having it.

"You what? You're sorry? You're sorry that they made me live fake memories? That they made me live memories where... where... "I blow out some air, tears making it hard to breath, Finnick comes beside me to comfort me, but I can't be near him, not right now, right now everything I've kept to myselfis coming out "they made me live a memory where all the people I've ever cared about blamed me, for all of this. Everything is my fault, I know, but hearing them all screaming at me...no. Then they made me believe I was being... I was... shit!" I scream, taking a deep breath, "they made me believe he was raping me... when actually it was Cal all the time... and of course he didn't stop there, I mean he didn't need to wait for the sessions.. when he was in the mood I was in a cell, where he could always find me... the day you arrived he... was just in time to... mark me" I lift my shirt to show Cal's name on my lower stomach, engraved,I take another deep and shaky breath as I lower the shirt back down, "so you see... the Capitol hurts your mind, it doesn't stop at your body. Too. Fucking. Easy." Venom clear in my voice, I turn to look at Haymitch wiping away my tears, his eyes are wet too, my voice gets softer, "they.. uh... they didn't turn him into a weapon to kill her, at least that's not their main reason... they want to destabilise her. Now if you'll excuse me."

I walk out.

I walk faster to the hospital room they assigned me, but I can't find it, I haven't got through chance to get my head around the labyrinth this place is. My breath is getting heavy and I need to be alone, but I don't know where to go.

"Miss L/n!" Someone calls, I turn around seeing Boggs jogging to get to me.

"I'm sorry... I... I just needed a moment." I tell him breathlessly.

"It's okay, come." He leads me to my room and sits me on the bed. "Match my breathing, okay?"

I nod and try to follow his breathing. In, hold it, and out. He uses his hand to emphasise the breathing, and to give me something to look at and focus on. Once I can breath normally again I look at him.

"Thank you."

"You might not agree, but we're the one who should thank you." He says and I shake my head, "I'm not one to soften things up, I'm not just being nice to you. I meant what I said."

"I... it's just..."

"The Capitol fucks you up?" He asks.

"Yes..." I lower my eyes, "I'm sorry."

"I can promise you, there's no one here you have to apologise to." He assures me.

"I just didn't mean to snap like that and throw everything that happened out like that."

"It would've been worse if you didn't." He explains, "bottling all that inside, won't do you any good. So anytime you feel like snapping, do it. Call me if you need to."

"Thanks."

"I stopped Odair from coming himself, I had a feeling he wouldn't do you any good at the moment." He tells me.

"Yeah, no... you were right..."I mutter, softly, I want to say more but I just take a breath.

"Okay, here's what we can do. You can tell me what you're clearly holding back, and I can just listen without saying anything. Or we can just breath." He suggests.

I look at him once more, and seeing his genuine offer to help I nod my head and after a long deep breath I start to explain.

"They use electricity and shocks to make you docile... numb. Then they project all around you images of people, places, then a voice narrate what they want you to live. It's like they put you to sleep and makes you dream of whatever they want... only the pain is real and you can't escape it by waking up." I sigh, "they used Finnick most of the time... having him blaming me, hurting me. I... I can't even look at him..."

"But you do know that's not real." He states.

"Yeah, I've lived in the Capitol all my life... I know their ways, long before they caught me I was preparing myself." I say, going back at fidgeting, "but I guess I was underestimating it."

"I don't think you did." Boggs tells me, "You know that what they showed you is not real. You're already halfway out of this."

"I don't know..." I shake my head.

"Plutarch and Haymitch told us a lot about you." He sits in front of me, "said your brain was one of a kind. Your strategies, ideas and suggestions are always on point."

"I think they were exaggerating..."

"I've know those two for merely weeks and the one thing I gathered is they don't praise just anyone. They meant what they said about you." He firmly explains, I sigh, looking away from him, "I understand you still have the lingering guilt in your head, you try to rationalise it, but you can't shake it off. But that doesn't make it real, okay?" I nod, "first step: say it out loud."

"I don't think I'm ready for it yet." I sadly smile.

"It's okay." He nods, not showing any disappointment, "also.. what you said to Gale... I was waiting for someone to put him in his place."

I laugh and he does too.

"Glad I could've been of assistance." I chuckle.

"Want me to call Odair or Haymitch?" He asks.

"I... no, thank you, but I need to be alone... for a bit more.." I answer.

"It's alright." He stands and walk to the door, "if you need anything, don't hesitate."

"Thank you." I nod. He does too and exits the room.

I stand up and walk to the glass cupboard close to the bed. I look at my fade reflection and lift my shirt up, looking properly for the first time at Cal's work on me. They gave me stitches, it will probably leave a scar. I sigh, lowering my shirt once again and I go to lay on the bed again.

Flashes of what happened at the Capitol make their way into my brain, I close my eyes and cover my ears to prevent them from getting out. I start to have troubles breathing, I sit up straight, a hand on my chest to control my heartbeat. Tears forming in my eyes. I try to remind myself that I'm not there anymore, I'm not a prisoner anymore.

"It's not real, it's not real, it's not real." I keeo whispering to myself.

Dread fills my veins when I hear a knock on the door.

"Y/n?" Finnick careful voice reaches my ears, "are you okay? I won't come in, just... say something."

I try to take a very deep breath and walk to the door, not opening it, but I hold my hand to touch it.

"I'm okay." I weakly say.

"Would it be okay if I stayed out here?" He gently asks.

"You... you don't have to." I tell him, "I' sure you have things to do."

"None more important than you." He states, "I'll just sit here, if you need something, knock." He lets out a soft chuckle.

"Finnick..." I start.

"You know I'm stubborn. There's no use in arguing."

I hear him sitting down.

"I'm okay, Finnick." I try one more time.

"I know." He replies, "this is just a great spot to sit and rest actually."

He makes me chuckle a little and I decide to sit down against the door too, we would be back to back if it weren't for the door between us.

"It is quite comfortable, I have to agree." I say.

"See? Best spot in the whole district." He laughs.

We sit in silence, a comfortable silence.

Every now and then I'm sure I heard Haymitch's voice trying to get him to go to lay down on a proper bed and Finnick would always answer that he's more than comfortable like this.

He spent all night out of my room, checking on me every now and then.

Tomorrow I'll get checked again, any sort of injuries they haven't detected, or help me get my mind to work better again.

I need to fix my mind, I want to stop these thoughts, I want to... I need to.

#the hunger games fic #the hunger games imagine #the hunger games x reader #finnick odair #finnick odair imagine #finnick odair x reader #the hunger games x y/n #finnick imagine #finnick x reader #finnick odair fic #thg finnick #hunger games finnick #finnick odair fluff #finnick fluff #finnick fanfic #finnick odair x y/n #finnick odair fanfic

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youunravelme · 1 year

Text

to all the girls you loved before part 4

author's note: thank you so much for your patience, if i'm being honest, this part was really hard to write because of the hype last part got. i don't want to disappoint anyone and i think i let that fear dictate how long it took me to write this. BUT thank you all for all the love and kindness you showed me as you read this series, i'm so excited to keep writing because of you! again, if you asked to be tagged and you aren't listed below, chances are tumblr wouldn't let me. :(

pairing: single dad!mat barzal x reader

summary: being a nanny for rich people was probably the worst thing that ever happened to you, until you started working for mat.

warnings: children, rich people, very volatile/toxic relationship

day thirty-four

bile rose in the back of your throat.

was that the proper reaction to finding out that the guy your roommate had been fucking for the past month was your boyfriend? it didn't feel like an overreaction.

you headed back to your room, hands closed over your ears to drown out the moans and groans coming from across the hallway. you slammed your bedroom door and started grabbing shit out of drawers and throwing it into a duffle bag you found on your floor.

the moans stopped and through the thin walls, you could hear mumbling.

"don't try to be considerate now!" you shouted. shuffling was heard on the other side of the wall before your door was pushed open, jason standing in a pair of boxers with hickeys all down his chest. natalie came in a second later dressed in one of jason's favorite shirts.

you would know, you used to wear it all the time until it went missing.

"you--" but natalie cut herself off. maybe it was the look on her face or the presence of the divine interfering on her behalf before you smacked her.

"where are you going?" jason asked.

"i'm not sure yet, but i'm not staying here any second longer." you stood to your full height with the duffle bag in your hand. as if a switch flipped, jason smirked and crossed his arms over his chest.

"you're not going anywhere."

you scoffed. "what?" because surely you heard wrong.

"did i stutter?"

this fucker.

"i'm leaving." you made a move towards the bedroom door, but his frame blocked it. "jason, i'm not fucking around."

"neither am i. we need to talk about this. and you're not going anywhere until we do."

"i think your moans said enough. now move."

"or what?" your phone rang and mat's contact picture lit up the screen. "of course it's him. why is he calling?" jason sneered.

you answered without acknowledging jason. "hello?"

"hey, you never texted me to say you got in alright. you okay?"

you looked between your roommate and soon-to-be ex boyfriend. "keep the car running, i'll be down in a few minutes."

a pause. "do i need to come up?"

"no, i'll be down in a few." your eyes never left jason's.

"stay on the phone," mat said.

"okay."

"tell mat to mind his business," jason said. "this is between us."

you kept the phone in your hand. "you can't tell me what to do. especially in an apartment where you don't pay rent."

he looked almost dumbfounded at your boldness, so you took advantage of that lack of awareness to shove your way past the both of them.

you made it to the living room before jason was shouting after you down the hallway. "we're not done here."

before you could stop yourself, you whipped around, filled with rage for what felt like the tenth time that night. "yes, we are. this relationship? over. this conversation? over."

in a flash, jason was in front of you, ripping the duffle bag out of your hands and tossing it down the hall, away from you.

and the realization hit you right as jason started screaming at expletives again.

fuck the bag, you needed to get out before he did something to you.

so you bolted, running towards the front door, flinging it open, and sprinting towards the stair case. if you had a clearer head, you might've waited for the elevator, but you wouldn't put it past jason to run out in the hallway with nothing but his boxers on.

you sprinted down the stairs, nearly slipping a few times, until you got outside.

mat immediately caught your eye and hung up the phone before jumping out of the car. "are you alright?" he asked. you couldn't speak, only nodded and let him open the car door for you.

not even the traffic sounds could fill the silence in the car.

from the corner of your eye, you could see mat glancing at you before turning his attention back to the road. "do you wanna talk about it?"

you tried to speak, but it was like the events of the night caught up to you. the words got stuck in your throat. "i--"

"i'm sorry," mat said. "i shouldn't have asked. let's get you back to my apartment and we'll sort things out there, okay?"

unable to say anything, you just nodded.

mat said before reaching over and clapping a hand on your knee. "it's gonna be okay. i'm not gonna let anything happen to you, alright?"

you nodded again.

mat took his hand back and for a moment, you contemplated reaching over for it, thankful for the way it grounded you even just briefly, but ultimately decided against it. you might not have a lot of friends, but you can guarantee you've never held their hands before.

the rest of the trip was spent in silence.

mat parked the car and immediately got out while you sat there to take a moment to breathe. he gently got ella out and slung the diaper bag over his shoulder before opening your door. "i'm all for taking a deep breath, but i would advise against it in a car at night."

you managed a weak chuckle through your tears and got out.

the doorman greeted the three of you with a small smile on his face as you walked into the lobby. he didn't ask any questions when he saw the tear tracks on your cheeks.

mat led you up to his apartment. he shuffled ella around in his arms to try to reach his keys, but when she started stirring he froze.

"would you get my keys out of my pocket?" he whispered.

you nodded solemnly before asking where his keys were.

"back left."

you carefully put your hand in his back left pocket, being sure not to touch any unsavory parts of him. when you retrieve his keys, you bypass his free hand entirely, choosing to unlock the door yourself.

mat followed behind you, shutting the door with his foot and locking it with his free hand. "i'm gonna put her down real quick. and then i'll get you something to change into."

"you don't have to--"

"i'd be a horrible friend if i made you sleep in jeans. it's no big deal, i promise."

and with that, he disappeared down the hallway while you stood in the living room processing what the hell had just happened. it seemed like the full weight of what had actually occurred just thirty minutes prior finally hit you like a tidal wave. there was no telling how long you stood there crying before being you were pulled into a firm chest.

"it's okay," mat said with a hand running up and down your back. "whatever happened is over now." he held you until your hiccuping cries stopped. you nodded against his chest before pulling away and wiping at your face. "i left the clothes on the guest bed if you wanna go get changed. the shower is free as well."

you mumbled a small thanks and headed down the hall.

on the bed was a pair of grey sweatpants; thankfully, with drawstrings, and a blue islanders tee shirt. you grabbed the items and headed to the bathroom, ready to wash away the events of the night.

as soon as the water was hot, you were undressing and stepping into the shower. just like all the other times you've showered, your mind was filled with reflections of the day. how jason screamed at you in public, how humiliated you felt, the sick feeling of coming home and finding his clothes strewn about, the nearly paralyzing fear of looking at him and realizing he was a completely different person now.

it all added up, the sly comments from your roommate, the emotional distance between you and jason, the accusing looks your roommate would give you whenever you so much as hugged him in front of her. when did it happen? how long had it been going on? was it revenge for how much time you were away and at mat's place working? was it--

wait.

you listened closely and heard talking vaguely over the fall of water from the shower. quickly, you turned off the shower when you heard the voices escalate. you dried off, pulling on mat's clothes with record speed before opening the bathroom door and letting the steam out.

almost immediately after, you were wishing you'd stayed in the bathroom.

because jason was at the door with a car seat in his hands, looking as furious as he was earlier in the evening.

"what the fuck?" he yelled as soon as he saw your form. "you slept with him already?"

"if you're asking if i took a page out of your book, the answer is no, jason." you walked into the living room and stood behind mat.

"why would i believe you? you're literally wearing his clothes!" he yelled, gesturing at your frame.

"i'm gonna tell you this once," mat started, voice low and dark. "lower your voice because if you wake my daughter, we're gonna have even more problems than we do right now."

"fuck off, barzal. this is between me and my girlfriend."

"ex," you said. "ex-girlfriend. we're done."

"what--"

"i don't know how you thought you could fuck natalie and maintain this relationship; but even if you didn't fuck my roommate, it would still be over because of the way you embarrassed me tonight."

"so you get revenge by slutting around--"

mat took half a step forward. "i would find a different word to use, if i were you."

"or what, barzal? you gonna fight me? i've seen the game you played against the rangers, i'm not impressed. you start shit but never finish it."

"kind of like our sex life," you mumbled before you could stop yourself.

fury washed over jason's face; you'd never seen a look so intense, but it looked right at home on him. jason took a step forward. "what did you say?" he asked darkly.

mat quickly shot his hand up and held jason where he was. "back up."

almost instantly, jason smacked the hand away. "you can't tell me what to do."

"i can when it's my home you're trying to barge into."

jason looked at him before turning his attention back to you. "you're gonna let him speak to me like this?" when you didn't say anything, he got angrier, which you didn't think was possible. he slammed his fist against the doorframe which had you flinching backwards and mat moving between the two of you.

"you have two options," mat said lowly. "either leave, or i call security and have you escorted out."

jason guffawed, if you could see him through mat, you might've seen the way he face relaxed, like he just realized he lost. you heard the thump of him dropping the car seat. "you're gonna regret this."

"have fun with what's-her-name," mat said before grabbing the car seat and shutting the door in jason's face.

the second the door locked, mat was dropping the car seat and pulling you into his chest. you weren't sure when you started crying and shaking again, this time you weren't sure if it was from anger or devastation.

"it's okay," he said. "it's over. you don't have to deal with him anymore." you nodded against his chest. "let's get you to bed and we can worry about everything else tomorrow, okay?" he pulled back just far enough to look you in the eye. "i need to hear you say it."

"okay," you whispered.

he looked satisfied enough to pull away and guide you down the hall where you knew your room would be.

your room.

when did you start thinking of it as that? you broke up with your boyfriend less than an hour ago and were not considering another bedroom (that hasn't been offered to you) as your own?

you yawned. it was too late to be doing deep dive contemplation, especially after the night you had.

mat stopped in front of your door, leaning on the doorframe like it was meant to hold him up. "i have practice tomorrow and then i'll be back and we can workout a time to get your things. does that sound okay?"

you nodded again. "thanks, mat."

"anytime."

you shut the door and stared at it for a moment. part of you wondered if mat was doing the same on the other side.

day thirty-five

you woke up without an alarm clock but your body was still tired. the exhaustion of the unveiled truth was a weight you weren't used to carrying.

gingerly, you rose from the bed and checked the time on your phone, relieved to see it was still early and that you hadn't inconvenienced mat by oversleeping.

mat.

he'd stuck up for you, let you sleep over, someone he hadn't really known but for a month. was he that kind or just naive?

you didn't have time to dwell on it.

you walked down the hall and into the living room when you heard music playing. there was no telling what could come from the bluetooth speaker when mat's phone was connected, this time it seemed to be some random pop song blasting through the kitchen. when you rounded the corner, you saw mat putting ingredients into a blender while ella bounced and flapped her arms around to the music in her high chair.

"morning!" mat said over his shoulder. "there's frozen waffles in the freezer if you want something for breakfast."

"they're not like...disgusting protein waffles, are they?" you asked.

mat stopped what he was doing and turned so he could smile at you properly. "nope, good ole unhealthy eggo waffles."

"i appreciate it." you made a move to walk towards the fridge when you stopped. "and for what it's worth, i'm sorry, about last night."

mat tilted his head like a confused golden retriever. "what did you do? if you pissed on the sheets, i have in unit laundry that will fix that problem."

you couldn't help it, a laugh burst straight from your chest and out of your mouth before you could stop it. if your eyes weren't squeezed shut from the laughing, you would've seen the soft smile adorning mat's face for getting that reaction.

"you know why," you said once you'd calmed down.

mat shrugged. "as far as i'm concerned, you didn't do anything wrong. that's all on him." he took two steps towards you, placing a hand on your shoulder. "and if it wasn't clear, you're welcome to stay as long as you need to."

the both of you stared at each other without saying a word, neither wanting to interrupt whatever peace was going on between the two of you.

ella took that opportunity though, to throw her apple sauce on the ground. the sound alone had you both snapping out of whatever trance you were in.

"well," mat said.

"yeah," you mumbled.

mat moved around you, squeezing your shoulder once. "i have to go get ready, but i should be back soon to help you get your stuff from your old place."

"mat, you don't have to--"

he kept walking. "sorry what was that? can't hear you!"

despite yourself, you smiled.

most of the morning went by without a hitch, you didn't even shed a tear! which you considered to be progress and maybe a sign that you weren't as torn up about your breakup as you should've been.

but you didn't have time to unpack that thought.

it wasn't until around 11 that you got a text from an unknown number that you were considering throwing your phone down the stairwell. but because curiosity got the better of you, you checked your phone anyway.

hey! this is sydney martin, we met last night. mat mentioned that you'd need help moving your stuff and i was offering my help as well at matt's.

below her text notification was one from mat.

hope you don't mind i passed your number along to sydney. my plan was to get tito to help me move your stuff, but we're both caught up doing interviews and press coverage until this afternoon. didn't think you'd want to chance running into him after a workday.

you texted sydney back first, finding it easier to set up times to leave and meet up at your old place than to reply to the thoughtfulness of mat's text.

hey sydney! you wrote. i would love all the help i can get, when would you two be able to meet me at my old apartment?

which is how you found yourself standing outside your old building with ella strapped to your chest, waiting for sydney and matt to arrive.

you heard your name being called and looked over your shoulder to see sydney and matt in workout clothes next to a....

uhaul?

in the city?

"hope you don't mind," sydney started. "mat said you had some stuff but we weren't sure how much, so my husband rented a truck just in case."

without even thinking about it, your eyes started tearing up. in one night, you'd lost pretty much the only people you had in the city, but had somehow gained two more in their absence.

"you didn't have to..." you trailed off.

matt, as if sensing the tears that were seconds away from leaking out of your eyes, took a step closer. "we've all been in shitty situations, no one should have to deal with it alone. besides any friend of my wife's is a friend of mine."

the very words left you giving him a watery smile. "thank you."

sydney approached you and wrapped you in a hug. "no need to thank us."

when you pulled away, the martins pretended they didn't see you wiping at your eyes.

"alright," you clapped. "it's gonna take some time, but hopefully with the three of us, we can get it done quickly."

the four of you headed inside with ella dozing off against your chest. matt followed behind you and sydney, carrying unopened cardboard boxes he had leaning against the truck.

"so i was thinking," matt said once you got to the front door of the apartment. "you and syd can pack up the boxes and i'll do the heavy lifting out to the truck, hopefully mat and tito will be done soon and they can help as well."

you and sydney nodded before heading back to your bedroom while matt played with ella in the living room.

"i asked him before we got here if he could give us some space," sydney explained once you were in your old bedroom.

"i appreciate it."

sydney started at your dresser and opened one box before neatly placing your clothes inside. "are you okay?"

you shrugged and started on the closet, tossing clothes inside the box without a care. "i'll be fine."

"mat didn't say much, if anything, if that's what you're worried about. i just saw how you were when what's-his-name was raging at the game yesterday."

you paused over a shirt that used to belong to him before tossing it aside. "he cheated on me with my roommate. and he wasn't happy when i tried to leave last night. tried to keep me here to 'talk about things.'"

sydney looked at you but didn't say anything for a moment. she let your words hang in the air like a foot poised over a landmine. "does mat know that?"

you shrugged. "he was on the phone with me for part of it but i don't know if he heard the near hostage attempt."

"did he come up the stairs and take care of things?" sydney asked, tone very serious. you didn't think it was possible for someone as joyful as her to look as grim as she did.

you shook your head. "no, he waited in the car."

"then he must not've heard, you would've known if he had." you weren't sure what face you were making but it must've been alarming because sydney quickly backtracked. "not that he'd get violent or anything! mat isn't scary, he's just..." she paused, as if searching for the right word. "...protective."

"i don't think that applies here, i've only known mat a month."

up until that point, you didn't know it was possible to hear an eye roll, but sydney somehow managed it. "oh please, like that matters here. anyone who meets you adores you. take me for example, i've only known you for twenty-four hours and i'd fight an overgrown man child for you." she reached over and placed a hand on top of yours. "everyone who meets you, loves you. it would be hard not to."

you nodded and went back to shoving clothes in boxes, too scared to look her in the eye just in case she saw the tears you were barely holding back.

an hour later, with most of your things in boxes, mat and tito showed up. ella, (who was sitting in your lap on the couch while matt martin continued to take boxes down to the truck, screamed and flapped her arms at the sight of her father and his best friend.

"ella bean!" tito called before beating mat over to you and scooping up the baby. mat didn't even attempt to conceal his annoyance, rolling his eyes before assessing the boxes littering the floor.

"is this all?" he asked.

you nodded. "syd and i have to sell my bed frame but other than that, we're good."

"we can bring it back to our apartment so you don't have to come back here."

you froze, and from the corner of your eye, you saw tito stop bouncing ella to look at the both of you while sydney found herself scrolling on her phone.

our apartment.

it hadn't even been twenty-four hours and he was already referring to the place as half yours.

it should've made you freak out, shut down.

but you were just relieved.

"i don't know if we'll have enough room," you said.

mat scoffed. "we'll make room. or martin, tito, and i will come back and grab it today. but you're not coming back here once we leave. not when your ex could show up at anytime."

you were still surprised that jason hadn't arrived. it seemed in his nature to hover, especially after he tried to hold you hostage last night.

"okay," you nodded.

he pointed a thumb over his shoulder. "i'll go talk to matt about making room and then we'll grab your bed frame." mat scooped up two boxes with ease and turned on his heel to go back down the stairs.

"i can help--"

but mat made a noise in the back of his throat. "sit down and chill." and left the room.

"that was considerate of him," sydney noted when she was sure he was out of earshot.

"which part?" tito commented. "when he referred to his place as yours? or the time where he denied your help so you could relax?"

"i'm sure mat does this for all the people in his life," you said.

tito scoffed. "when i was moving apartments, i asked for his help and he told me to 'fuck off and hire movers.'"

"i'm sure that has absolutely nothing to do with how close you two are and everything to do with you being a millionaire," sydney replied.

as if on cue, your phone rang, mat's first and last name filling up your screen. "hello?"

"tell beau to give ella to you and bring the rest of the boxes downstairs."

tito must've heard because he was groaning and walking ella over to you without saying a word.

"he's on his way down," you said.

"thanks," mat replied before hanging up.

the hard work was done by mid afternoon. and with the truck loaded up, none of you saw a reason to stay much longer. matt martin agreed to drive the truck back to the apartment you currently shared with mat. you'd ride with mat and tito (and subsequently ella) since you took the subway to your old place while syd drove her car.

as soon as you got back to your new place, the boys were unloading the truck while you and syd put ella down for a long overdue nap before taking a look at your room and trying to figure out where to put things.

"it doesn't all have to be done in one day," she said. "but the faster it's done, the easier it'll be for you to move on from this." you nodded to the sound of the boys dropping boxes in living room. "you're handling this remarkably well for someone who just ended a long term relationship."

you avoided looking at her, instead focusing on your bed spread. "things haven't been okay for awhile," you said like that was explanation enough.

it seemed to do the job for sydney because she didn't ask anymore questions.

not too long after everything was moved in, sydney, matt, and tito left with the promise of visiting soon. syd said she'd be by without any hesitation if you needed her.

you just smiled and accepted her hug. but as soon as the front door shut, your shoulders sagged and you fell into the couch like a rag doll.

if your eyes weren't laser focused on the floor, you would've seen mat's mouth open and shut a few times as if searching for the right words until he finally settled on some.

"you did it, one of the hardest parts is over."

you grunted. "what could be harder than this?"

mat fell into the couch beside you. "tomorrow, and the day after that, and the days that follow until you get used to him not being around anymore. and the sting of betrayal finally stops hurting."

you couldn't help yourself, you laughed.

"what?" he sat up. "i thought i was giving sage advice!"

your eyes met and you could see he wasn't offended, there was a gleam of humor in his eyes that reminded you of boys in elementary school who regularly got in trouble for the hijinks they pulled during the school day.

"'the sting of betrayal?' really mat? are you an author or a hockey player?"

"can't i be both?"

"i've seen you get hit in the head with pucks and hockey sticks before. keep it up and i don't think you'll have much of a brain to write anything."

you expected a laugh, but he looked at you like he'd seen you in a new light. "i didn't get hit at my last game."

"i know," you laughed. "i was there, or have the concussions you've gotten affected your memory?"

"you watched my previous games?"

oh.

would that be embarrassing to admit? that you'd gone back and watched him play a little? you didn't even know why, you just found yourself on youtube rabbit hole during one of ella's naps.

"i mean," you shrugged. "i uh, i watched some highlights and whatever youtube had available. i felt bad for not knowing anything about how you play, especially after you--"

"you don't have to explain anything to me," he interrupted. "i just, i'm shocked is all, in the best way possible."

maybe it was the look in his eyes, or the soft smile gracing his lips. or maybe it was the fact that he was the first single man you'd ever met who'd shown you unrelenting kindness without any expectation of sleeping with you that had you saying the words you said next.

"i'm really glad i met you."

his smile grew. "i'm really glad too."

taglist:

@nicoleloveshockey @thg02 @fallinallincurls @bbbbruins @random-readers-world @sydsxoxo @jhughesy @whenmypartysover @sunflowerhood @spencereidbasis @icanfsplel @avareadsthings @zegraswrites @calermakar @heyitsmeimdead @kashee-h @bordelhoe

#mat barzal #nhl imagine #nhl blurb #nhl imagines #mat barzal x reader #mat barzal imagine

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aphroditelovesu · 1 year

Note

would you be interested in writing a jake peralta angsts kinda like jake saves reader form something maybe??? if not possibly a yandere? please and thank youuuu

❝👮‍♂️— lady l: it took a while but it came out! I don't have much practice with angst, but I tried it and I hope you like it. Forgive me for mistakes!

❝tw: anxiety, panic attacks, mention of murder, my poor attempt at angst.

❝👮‍♂️pairing: yandere!jake peralta x female!reader

❝—👮‍♂️word count: +1,6k ❝👮‍♂️tag: @flowercrowns-goodvibes

You were in danger. You were in danger. You were in danger.

Jake's mind was just that, you were in danger and it scared the shit out of him. What had gone wrong? It was supposed to be just a simple undercover mission to catch a powerful drug dealer, but it all ended up going wrong.

What had happened to you?

Jake nearly passed out in panic when Captain Holt told him he'd lost communication with you, a big sign of trouble. You were supposed to be in contact with them all the time, but you stopped communicating and… Now none of them knew what happened to you. Were you alive? Hurt? By God, Jake will kill whoever hurt you, he was sure of it.

''Jakey'' Boyle's voice called to him, Jake looked at his friend and saw the concern on Charles's face. ''We will find her.'' He tried to reassure him, but even Boyle wasn't sure. The chances that you were murdered were high, although you were a well trained detective, there was always the chance, but he would never say that to his best friend. No one would say, everyone knew how obsessed Peralta was with you and knew how he reacted when it came to you.

''We will.'' Jake's voice was serious and full of hate. He was going to find you and he was going to punish the damned criminal who dared to try to hurt you.

Charles nodded and hugged Jake gently who returned the hug, but soon pulled away. ''Holt is trying to locate her and so is Terry. Soon (Y/N) will be with us again.''

Jake nodded calmly and something about that calmness startled Boyle. Why was Jake so calm? He knew his friend and he was scared to ask. Charles was never afraid of his friend, he revered and adored him, but something in Jake's eyes made him afraid. Almost like he was planning something and it wasn't something good.

''I will continue to work on the case. I'm going to visit the crime scene where she disappeared. I need to focus on finding her, because if I don't I am going to freak out.'' Jake finally said more than three words and sat down at his desk, the desk he shared with you. He mumbled something and smiled as he looked at the picture of the two of you together that he had placed next to his computer. You looked so happy.

He tried, he really tried, but he couldn't concentrate. Worry and fear seemed to eat him alive, his heart racing in panic and his mind conjuring up images of what could have happened to you or what you could be having to put up with right now.

Jake cringed as he remembered the gunshots that had echoed through the microphone you had in your ear to keep in touch with the 99.

[..]

You had to come back soon.

Everyone had agreed to that. Jake was freaking out and everyone around him. Nothing seemed to calm him down and the entire police station seemed to be affected by it, hampering the searches.

They all loved you. They were a family and you were a part of it and everyone was worried too.

Captain Holt and Rosa were the calmest ones, or at least they tried to remain calm, but he was also out of their mind with worry. Amy, Terry and Boyle just didn't freak out because they knew it wouldn't help anything, but Jake… Jake looked so distraught that he couldn't eat, drink and couldn't take his face away from the evidence they had found.

After searching the crime scene, they were able to find a few things that could lead to you. Or at least that's what they hoped, but Jake wasn't going to sit around waiting for the lab results.

Time was crucial and he wasn't going to waste it. Not when your life was in danger.

So he made a decision. A decision he knew he could regret for the rest of his life, but it wouldn't matter, not when he had you safe and sound in his arms again.

Jake sighed at the thought of the phone call he had received an hour ago and he felt trapped. The deal he had accepted was dangerous, but that was all for you.

''Jake was sitting at his desk, hunched over it, repeatedly reading the files on the drug dealer who had you. His name was Maximus Rodriguez, a notorious drug lord who had his petty dealers act for him and he had you. Jake clenched his fist in anger at the thought. Fuck.

Maximus was dead and so was his entire operation.

He grabbed his cell phone when it started to ring, an unknown number popping up on the screen. He frowned but accepted the call and a high pitched voice began to speak.

''Detective Peralta. What a pleasure.'' The voice said bored. ''Looking for your sweetheart?''

''Who is it?'' Jake asked irritably.

''You don't need to know my name. Yet. But you can call me Maury. I have information that I believe may be of interest to you.''

''Information?'' Jake was attentive. It was obvious this was about you and he was so desperate he would do anything to get you back.

''I know where your precious (Y/N) is being held and I know who her captors are.'' Maury said and Jake was sure the man was smiling.

''… What do you want in return?''

''Straight to the point? I liked. No big deal, I want you to agree to do a simple job for me in exchange for getting your (Y/N) back. Sounds fair to me.''

''What kind of work?'' Jake questioned suspiciously.

''You'll find out when the time comes. Do you accept?'' Jake mumbled a drawling ''yes''. ''Very good. Now pay attention…''

Jake knew where you were and had informed Holt that he had started to prepare to break in. He was asked how he got to know where you were, but Jake lied saying that the drug dealer's criminal record had hidden and useful information.

Nobody questioned him. They didn't believe it, of course, but Jake's look of despair and hatred was so great that they didn't dare question it further.

The focus was on bringing (Y/N) back. All that mattered now was her and he was willing to do anything to get her back.

[…]

The cops were in place and the SWAT team was preparing to break into the warehouse where (Y/N) was apparently being held. They were preparing for an ambush. It's always good to be prepared for anything and Holt had his detectives ready in case something goes wrong. It was a dangerous rescue mission, but everyone would do their best to retrieve (Y/N).

''We're going to count to 10 and go inside. Get ready.'' Holt said, getting into position.

''Right. Let's get on with it.'' Rosa grumbled and grabbed her gun, bracing herself for the chaos that could ensue.

''1, 2, 3…'' Holt started counting and everyone got into their agreed positions. Jake was by the door with one of the SWAT guys and he was shaking with anxiety and rage. ''…9, 10!''

The door was broken down and the police entered the warehouse. They were prepared for a firefight or something, but none of it came. They looked around and Jake sobbed when he saw you. You were tied to a chair, gagged and looking at them in fear and relief.

''Take a look around.'' Holt commanded and the others obeyed. Jake and he came running to you, pulling the ropes and gag out of your mouth.

As soon as you were released, you found yourself hugged tightly by Jake, who began to shed tears of relief onto your shoulder. ''You're alive…'' He sobbed and looked at your bruised face. Yours lip was a little swollen and there were small cuts on your cheek. Jake kissed your cheek gently, not wanting to aggravate any injuries.

Jake didn't let go of you for the next few minutes, clinging to you and whimpering. You didn't let go either. Finally relieved to see him again. Not when you feared you might never see him again and just the thought of it made you grip tighter.

A team of paramedics arrived to assess you and you were taken to the ambulance, where they treated you. Jake, of course, didn't leave your side, eyeing the paramedics suspiciously. You squeezed his hand gently and he kissed your head.

''I was so scared…'' Jake muttered, squeezing her hand tightly.

''Me too…'' You said, lightly stroking Jake's hand with your loose fingers.

''I'm never going to let you out of my sight again, understand?'' He was scared, very afraid that something like that would happen again and he wouldn't let it. He would hunt down your captors and kill them one by one. You would never be taken from him again.

''I love you.'' He uttered and you smiled, he bent down and placed a light kiss on your lips, very carefully to not hurt you.

''I love you too, you idiot.'' You laughed and laid your head against his shoulder as Jake sat down next to you.

Jake finally felt calm, you were where you belonged, beside him. He would find the bastards who hurt you and they would regret ever being born. He kissed your forehead gently. You were everything to him.

He knew he had to keep his end of the bargain, but he'd think about that later. You were more important and he would deal with the consequences later.

''I won't let anyone hurt you again.'' Jake swore, looking into your eyes deeply and you knew he wasn't lying.

It was a promise. An oath.

#yandere brooklyn nine nine #yandere b99 #yandere brooklyn nine-nine #brooklyn nine nine #b99 #jake peralta #jake peralta x reader #yandere jake peralta #yandere jake peralta x reader #imagine #imagine angst #i mean i have tried

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libraryofgage · 9 months

Text

Steddie Pokemon AU

So, Pokemon Concierge is on Netflix, and it's just so good guys. Like, it gives me the same vibes that Pokemon Soul Silver does. I can't explain it, but it hit right in the yearning part of me that wants to live in a Pokemon world.

Anyway, I wrote this to kinda counteract that yearning lmao

This is a fluffy AU, very wholesome and little-to-no angst. If there is any, none of it is related to Steddie. It also jumps back and forth, showing Steddie's life now and the journey of them getting together and settling down.

Let me know if you'd like to be tagged!

And, as always, if you see any typos, no you didn't ;)

------

Present

Steve slowly approaches the agitated Rapidash. His hands are raised to be visible, his shoulders are relaxed, and Dustin is standing with his Vaporeon a few feet away just in case he needs to put out a fire or two. Steve's Dragonite is standing behind Dustin, ready to pull him away at the first sign of trouble. The Rapidash glares at Steve warily, smoke billowing from its nostrils as it moves back and forth in its tiny enclosure. A fire-proof strip of leather is wrapped around its snout, keeping it from biting or snapping at anyone who wanders too close.

On his head, Steve's Buneary, named Bunna on a whim by El, shifts anxiously, her ears perked as she tugs at his hair. He doesn't give any indication that he notices, keeping his eyes on the Rapidash. When he's a few steps away, the Rapidash's eyes widen and it rears back, making Steve freeze.

He takes a deep breath, keeping his heart at a calm pace. "I'm not gonna hurt you," he says, his voice low and soothing. "My name is Steve. This is one of my partners, Bunna. We're not really from around here, but you could probably tell, huh? We traveled here from Hawkins. That's a tiny little town off Route 86. Really pretty, big fields to roam and a forest all around. You can even see the stars at night."

As he speaks, the Rapidash slowly calms down, shifting occasionally but no longer rearing back. The animosity in its eyes has diminished some as well, leaving behind a hesitant wariness. Steve smiles gently, taking another step closer. When the Rapidash doesn't try to warn him away, he continues to slowly approach.

He reaches the fence of the enclosure this time and slowly exhales. "Can I?" he asks, slowly reaching out only to freeze when the Rapidash snorts in warning. "Okay, no problem."

When Steve drops his hand again, Bunna takes it as her cue. She hops off Steve's head, balances carefully on the fence, and chitters as she approaches the Rapidash. It's fine with other Pokemon, allowing her to come close enough to reach the leather strip wrapped around its snout. Bunna pokes it a few times with a pink-topped ear, jumps onto the Rapidash's snout to step on the strip with her paw, and then hops back down.

"Bun!" she shouts, waving her paws at the Rapidash. "Bu, Neary, Ne Ne, Bunear." As she speaks, she gestures to Steve with her ears.

After a few moments, the Rapidash puffs out another little cloud of smoke, and Bunna nods. She turns and jumps onto Steve, landing on his shoulder and settling there happily. "Thank you," he says, reaching up to gently scratch under her chin before approaching the Rapidash.

This time, it doesn't move, but it does watch closely. Steve continues to be slow and gentle, reaching up to feel along the leather strip. He eventually finds the clasp holding it in place and carefully pulls it loose. Once he's gently tugged it off, the Rapidash snorts and stretches its jaw, revealing teeth that could easily clamp down on Steve's hands.

They don't, though. Instead, the Rapidash studies Steve for a few more seconds before nudging its snout against his hands. Steve smiles wider, gently smoothing the fur that had been flattened by the leather. "I'm gonna let you out now, okay? And then we can go back to Hawkins and you can rest for as long as you'd like," he promises.

Once he's finally gotten the Rapidash out of its enclosure and comfortable enough to travel, he waves for Dustin to slowly approach. The Rapidash moves to stand behind Steve, wary but not aggressive with Steve acting as its shield. "Man, I thought it was gonna bite your hand off," Dustin says, his shoulders slumped with relief as his Vaporeon winds around his feet. "I was ready to call out your Chancey."

Steve waves off his concern. "No, it wouldn't hurt me unless I spooked it," he says, feeling the Rapidash gently nudge him in the back. He looks over his shoulder, noting the impatience in its eyes and its eagerness to leave this place already. "All right, all right, we're going."

"Can we visit Eddie when we get back?" Dustin asks, watching as Vaporeon scampers up Dragonite's tail and settles on his head.

"If he's not busy. It's spring, Dustin. You know he gets more challengers in spring."

Dustin grins. "Yeah," he says, "I wanna see him kick their asses."

Steve snorts, reaching over and shoving the bill of Dustin's cap down.

-------------

Past

Technically, this is the third time they've met, if Steve could even call it meeting. The first two times he and the other boy crossed paths, it was while Steve was leaving a gym, riding the high of victory. He'd nodded to the boy in greeting before hurrying to the Pokemon Center to heal his team and plan a celebration dinner.

The third time they meet, they're in Juniper Village, and it's raining. Steve is sitting in one of the many fields in the village, letting himself get soaked as he wallows in his own misery over his third failed gym battle. His Dratini is curled up next to him, his Ralts is moping in his lap, and his Riolu is leaning against his back, nearly as devastated as Steve. If not for the rain, his Growlithe would be out as well.

Maybe it's dramatic of Steve, but he's allowed a little drama sometimes. It's not like he walked into the gym expecting to win with ease, but the wall he keeps hitting shows no sign of cracking, and a quiet whisper in the back of his mind keeps saying this is where his journey ends. He'll never get past the Juniper Village Gym, he'll never reach the Elite Four, and he'll never prove to his parents that wanting to spend his time with Pokemon is more than a childish fantasy he should get over.

His eyes are just beginning to sting when something rolls into his knee. Steve blinks, looking down to see a Sandshrew pop open and tilt its head at him. He's about to cover it with his jacket (it can't possibly be comfortable in the rain) when a hand with ring-covered fingers reaches out and gently knocks the Pokemon on the head. With a quiet poof the Sandshrew disappears and a Zoroa snickers.

Someone plops down on the ground next to Steve, huffing softly when the Zoroa jumps into their lap. "So, is this some new training tactic I don't know about?" they ask.

When Steve looks up, he locks eyes with the boy he's met in passing outside the last two gyms. His hair is plastered to his face, and he seems to have no intention of picking up the umbrella he's abandoned to the side. "What?" Steve asks.

"This whole sitting in the rain thing," the boy says, waving one hand to gesture to the weather as his other rubs between Zoroa's ears. "I've heard of sitting under waterfalls, but this one is stumping me."

Without thinking, Steve blurts out, "I'm moping."

He blinks, feeling his face grow hot as he quickly looks away. It just gets worse when the guy snorts, the laughter piercing right through Steve's chest. It makes him think of his parents and the way they'd derisively laugh whenever he spoke about fighting gym leaders and traveling the region. His Ralts shifts in his lap, burying its head in his stomach as it picks up on his emotional shift.

"Hi, Moping," the boy says, "I'm Eddie."

Whatever Steve had been feeling comes to a screeching halt, his emotions nearly tripping over themselves as he processes what he just heard. When it finally clicks, his whips his head around to stare at the boy, Eddie, taking in his amused grin. "Did you just...make a dad joke?" he asks.

"Yep," Eddie says, making the 'p' sound pop. "Did it work?"

Surprisingly, yes. It was so abrupt that Steve suddenly feels that sitting here in the rain because he lost a gym battle is just absurd. "Yeah," he says, his voice soft.

Eddie grins wider, leaning closer and bumping their shoulders like they've been friends this whole time. "So, what's your name really, big boy?"

"Steve. My name is Steve." he says, getting a slight smile of his own. Then he realizes something and looks around them. The area is completely empty except for him, Eddie, and their Pokemon. Everyone else in Juniper Village is smart enough to stay inside when it's raining like this. "What are you doing?"

"Well, I saw this guy who usually looks very proud of himself just moping in the rain, so I figured I'd try to cheer him up a little out of the goodness of my heart."

"Really?" Steve asks, narrowing his eyes. "The goodness of your heart?" He wouldn't be surprised if it was less the goodness of Eddie's heart and more the prospect of getting acquainted with the heir to the Harrington TM/HM corporation.

"Okay, fine," Eddie says, holding his free hand up in surrender. Steve braces himself, trying to cut off any disappointment before it can be felt. "You just looked like such a pathetic little depressed Lillipup that I couldn't help approaching you."

Steve blinks again, utterly speechless as he stares at Eddie. After a few seconds, he finally manages to say, "I'm not a Lillipup."

"Really, Stevie?" Eddie asks, his tone and grin becoming amused, "That's the part of that sentence you got caught on?"

For some reason, that's what makes Steve crack. It starts slow, with a tiny smile, and eventually becomes breathless laughter as he leans back and nearly crushes his Riolu. It ducks out from behind Steve, sliding to sit next to his Dratini, and stares at him in utter confusion as he falls into the muddy grass behind him. Raindrops fall into his mouth and mud stains his clothes, but Steve doesn't care.

He hears Eddie fall onto his back as well and looks over to see his Zoroa circling his stomach before settling. Eddie grins at Steve, and they enjoy the rain together for a few more minutes before dashing to the nearest Pokemon Center to get dry.

#steddie #steddie fic #pokemon au #Master Ball Steddie #That's the name for this one bois #steddie fluff #steddie pokemon au #steve harrington #eddie munson #dustin henderson #my writing

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jasntodds · 5 months

Text

Petrichor [19]

Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader (little bit of fwb)

Words: 12,542

Chapter Warnings: Swearing, angst, blood, mention of abuse, mention of manipulation, mentions of death, mentions of canon characters deaths, mentions of drug use

Summary: ❝Pylades: I’ll take care of you. Orestes: It’s rotten work. Pylades: Not to me. Not if it’s you.❞

Gotham is home, not just for Jason but for you, too. And now that you’re both finally back home, together, you’re ready to see where this next chapter brings the two of you. He’s your best friend and you’re his. And you both might want a little something more with being back home, the place you both feel most comfortable. Surely, nothing could possibly go wrong now.

A/N: We're almost done with season 3 and I am so excited!! You're all gonna hate me later lmao (again happy ending, promise) I have so many plans lol You can add yourself to the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary and turn on notifications if you prefer that!! I love feedback, I swear it keeps me posting on a weekly basis 😭

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You, Gar, and Rachel are sitting around the Lazurus Pit. Rachel has just finished giving Gar a pep talk about how she's able to do what she does out of love. Gar has been feeling a little bit like a letdown, unable to transform into different animals on command like he can as a tiger. The only times it's happened is when he's terrified, as if there's a block of fear in his head keeping him from transforming into anything else. You stay silent. You don't think Rachel is wrong. Gar could definitely change into other animals beyond being scared and maybe the answer is the love he has for all of the Titans and the love everyone has for him because everyone believes him. But, you're still stuck in your head wondering if that's always enough.

Right now, love doesn't seem like the thing that heals all wounds and makes everything better. It wasn't enough to keep Jason safe. It wasn't enough to keep him out of Crane's grasp. It wasn't enough to get Bruce to kill the Joker before he had his chance. It wasn't enough to bring Jason home. It wasn't enough for Rachel to bring Donna back. It wasn't enough for Sam to bring Jason back. It wasn't enough to keep the Titans at the tower. There have been so many things, especially lately, where it's just not been enough. Sometimes it's not enough so instead of being pessimistic about it, you stay quiet, looking at the pit and hoping it spits Dick out.

"You're quiet." Gar states, moving his attention to you.

"Oh, yeah." You shake your head, glancing back at him. "Just...waiting." You look back at Rachel. There's no guarantee this is going to work. You need another plan if it doesn't. You need another plan if it takes too long. "Do you think you could find the other Titans? Like...at some point tonight?"

"Yeah." Rachel nods her head. "I can feel their energy, too." Rachel's voice is soft.

"Well, that's good at least. Kory will know what to do." You let out a sigh, moving your stare back to the Pit.

"You don't think this is gonna work, do you?" Rachel asks.

"I don't know." You shrug. "I'm just trying to think ahead in case it doesn't or in case it takes a while. I mean, for all we know it takes a few days." You state just as the put starts bubbling. "Or...a few hours." You mutter as the three of you get to your feet, looking into the pit just as Dick's fist punches through the surface and he emerges from the thick and glowing liquid.

Dick starts to swim to the edge while you and Gar quickly meet him there to help pull him out. You both grab his arms, pulling at him until he's out of the pit and leaning back on his hands. He coughs up water just as Rachel kneels down beside him, you and Gar getting back to your feet. You and Gar exchange a look of disbelief as hope has the courage to start to fill your chests.

"Dick?" Rachel asks.

Dick manages to look at her, furrowing his brows in confusion before he falls back onto his back and passes out. Rachel looks back to Gar and you, as if one of you will know what just happened.

"What do we do?" Rachel asks.

"Is he breathing?" Gar asks with hesitance.

The three of you see Dick's chest rising and falling. This whole thing has been weird and it almost seemed like he drowned. Is there supposed to be more to do this? Or is he supposed to just...sleep off the effects and then he's just alive again? The three of you are completely confused by the entire situation.

"Yes." Rachel states.

"I guess we wait some more?" You question. "He's breathing so that's better than the alternative." You shrug your shoulders, wishing you would have pressed Jason to get some answers from Crane about him coming back.

But then Dick snaps back out of it, gasping himself awake as he shoots up. You and Gar both jump back slightly at the sudden movement and sound as if Dick is jumpscare in a bad horror movie.

"Rachel?" Dick gasps for breath, looking more confused than ever. "Gar?" Dick rushes, getting onto one knee. "Y/n?" Dick questions looking to you.

The last thing he remembers to be real is you and Jason kneeling above him, looking lost and panicked. Then there was everything in the pit which only leaves him with far more questions than answers, none of which he has time to get answers to right now. The Pit told him everything he needs to know to take down Crane. That's all that can matter right now if you're all going to save Gotham. He can deal with the rest later.

"It's okay now. You're safe." Rachel assures him. "Let us help you."

"Are you...alright?" Gar asks with worry.

"Yeah, dude. You like...died." You state with the scrunch of your nose, earning a light nudge from Gar.

"What...what happened down there?" Gar asks.

Dick breathes heavily, catching his breath and then completely avoids the question. "Crane can be stopped." Dick states, running a hand through his hair. "There's still time." Dick rushes, getting to his feet.

Dick starts to walk towards the exit as Rachel gets to her feet. He cannot possibly be serious. He just died and drowned and now he's just...going to stop Crane. Suddenly he has all the answers and he's going to go off on his own? He can barely even catch his breath.

"Wait. Dick, man, you need to rest." Gar rushes after him, the three of you right on Dick's heels.

Dick turns around, barely facing the three of them. "Anton and First Street. There's an abandoned control room. Find Conner. Make sure he's okay. Unite the Titans." Dick states in a hurry. "Y/n, with me, let's go." Dick rushes before he turns on his heels and starts darting down the hallway.

"Unite the Titans where?" Rachel calls after him.

"Take them to Donna." Dick states, not slowing down or stopping as he makes his way down the tunnel.

The three of you look between each other in confusion, trying to grasp any sort of explanation to no avail. Donna is supposed to be dead, according to Rachel. And he was in a Pit?

Dick calls your name from down the hall, his voice echoing over the bricks.

You shrug at the two of them. "Uh...alright. Good luck with that, I guess? I'll make sure he's not fucking insane." You state quickly, spinning on your heels before you jog down the hall to catch up to Dick.

You catch up to Dick who is walking a steady and quick pace, his head clearly thinking a hundred steps ahead. You eye him as you match his pace, walking right beside him. He just died? And then came back to life? There is no way in hell this man is just...fine with that. Of course, there are a lot of other things you all need to focus on, especially with him somehow knowing Crane can be stopped. There are more pressing matters than Dick's mental state at this exact point in time but that doesn't bring you any type of ease.

No one should die and then just be fine.

Jason sure as shit isn't. So, Dick can't be either.

Sam follows Dick out of the building, keeping up with him.

"We're going to meet Jason." Dick states flatly once the two of you exit the building.

"We're gonna what now?" You question, shaking your head. "And how do you expect we even find him?"

"He'll be here." Dick states, a confidence that should be reassuring consumes his voice.

How is he so sure about everything all of a sudden? The Lazarus Pit brings people back, and heals them, but...it can't possibly predict the future right? But, Dick also just said Donna is alive which means...if that's actually true the pit brings more than life back to someone. It brings some sort of clarity for things they otherwise shouldn't know. But if he's wrong that just means it's made him crazy which also means the pit did have some sort of lasting effect on Jason, too. This can't be good.

"How do you even know that?" You question, trying to figure out what is actually going on. If anything, he needs to slow down.

"He'll always go back to where it happened." Dick states.

What?

Your face scrunches in both annoyance and more confusion. You did this round-and-round question game with Jason, you're not doing it with Dick. He wants you to go and find Jason so damn bad, he can give you some clarity, too.

"What the shit with Donna being alive? How the fuck do you even know that?" You almost demand instead of asking.

"I just do." Dick says simply.

"That's not reassuring whatsoever." You mutter with more annoyance.

Dick glances down to you, seeing you grow frustrated. "The pit..." Dick says.

"Yeah, no I figured that out but you're not exactly giving out details here." You roll your eyes before you grab his arm to bring him to a stop. "Dude, seriously, are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Come on, we can't waste—" Dick starts as he continues walking.

"No, fuck that shit!" You yell, keeping up with him again. "You know, you batboys do that shit all the time. You guys say you're fine when you're not. You literally just fucking died, Dick. You can't just be fine after that. And you know if the three of you would just fucking talk about how not fine all of you are, we probably wouldn't be in this mess to begin with, right? Like that's your guys' entire fucking problem. I hate talking about my shit, too but I'm learning the more I admit how not fine I am the easier it is and I tend to feel a little bit better about it. The three of you are just fucking annoying about it and if you really think that's not your problem, you're being willfully ignorant and we both know that's not a very Nightwing thing to be." You finish with a scoff and the shake of your head.

And maybe a large part of your frustration is that neither of them seem to think they matter. They are sacrifices. Jason always thinks the world is simply better off without him and Dick thinks he's expendable. He can be the sacrifice for the greater good. It's why he's reckless and why he goes off on his own. Jason does the exact same thing. It's fine to them if they die. But, they leave these people in the wake of their deaths with paralyzing grief. This time it wasn't permanent for either of them but what happens when it is? It shouldn't be because they were reckless and decided to sacrifice themselves because they matter to people. The people who love them and they should be considered in all of this.

Dick glances down to you as you keep your eyes straight, jaw clenched tight. Dying is traumatic but you're right. They don't talk about it. Bruce never talked about anything so Dick wouldn't talk about anything and Jason never talked about anything. Batman and Robin could never be scared and they weren't allowed to let their emotions get in the way. Emotions cause blurriness and distractions. On the field, those things get you killed. But, he's not Robin. He's not with Batman. He just died as Nightwing.

"It was a lot." Dick manages to state.

"Yeah..." You say quietly.

"You almost died. I think you know." Dick says, still partially avoiding the question.

"Yeah, it was really scary and traumatizing." You state flatly because even though you were close, you did not die. He saved you. And Jason saved you. Close doesn't count here.

"Yeah." Dick keeps his word short. "I had to face some...challenges." Dick confesses, feeling the very core of his bones ache with guilt over the brutal beating of Jason even though it wasn't real in the pit. "It's hard to explain. It was a test or something." You look at him, seeing the look of distance and remorse dissolve over his face and you don't need to ask what kind of tests. "I understand Jason a little more now, him as Red Hood." Dick lets out a breath. "But I can't focus on what happened if we're going to stop Crane. "

You nod softly. "Right, yeah, got it." You let out a breath. "Your ability to compartmentalize is really something else but you should really deal with it after instead pushing it off." You say quietly, earning a glance from Dick. "Something else will always come up, you're Nightwing. You're a Titan. I'm just saying, look where we stand today like maybe it would have been different if things weren't always compartmentalized. Maybe you need to feel it sometimes."

The words almost catch you off guard. You've been running from your own pain for so long that you think that's your biggest issue. You run and it hurts you and the people that care about you. It's easier to not feel any of it but it makes being a person harder. There is blood on your hands and a part of you wonders if you had just let yourself grieve, maybe there wouldn't be. Maybe most of what happened between you and Jason after wouldn't have happened because you would have grieved. You would have felt all of it. Maybe had you stuck around after your mom died, let yourself just feel it, you wouldn't have ended up with Jerry. Maybe allowing the pain to bleed a little is how people heal from it. Let it scab over and let it mend itself over time with care and attention.

"Are you okay?" Dick asks. "You were there. You found Jason, you were there with Tim. This is a lot for you, too."

"Yeah..." You let out a sigh. "Like...I-I-I don't know. You're like this weird...weird brother I-I never really wanted or asked for and then you died. And that's just...I don't know. I fuck with you but I respect you and ya know?" You look up with honest eyes. "Kind of would suck a lot if you died permanently. You're like good at this and you're important to the Titans." You roll your shoulder, pulling in a heavy breath. "And to me." You mutter so quietly Dick nearly misses it.

"Thank you." Dick says. "I think that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me." There's the smallest touch of sarcasm in his voice.

You manage to crack a smile. "Eh, don't get used to it, Dickolas. It's cause you died. Gotta be nice to you for at least an hour." Dick shakes his head but you see the subtle hint of a smile on his face. "Why are we going to find Jason anyway?"

"He'll know how to take out Crane and we need him on the inside. He wouldn't tell Crane he's against him, would he?" Dick asks.

"Doubt it." You scoff. "Jason is smart, methodical. He still wants Crane dead for what he did to me so he's not gonna let Crane think they're on different sides just so he can have the upper hand."

"Good. We find Jason and bring him with us. I have a plan." Dick states with urgency but offers no further explanation.

"Yeah...okay. So, uh, where do I come in? The mediator, still?" You almost laugh at the idea.

"No. You said Jason wanted to talk, let's talk. You're here because I need you with Jason."

While the idea of them talking is definitely enticing, you aren't completely convinced. Jason didn't pull the trigger this time but it is his fault Dick died. And given how Jason has been about Bruce who wasn't even in Gotham when Jason was killed, you can't help but feel a bit uneasy with Dick wanting to find Jason so soon after surviving the Pit.

"And how do we know you're not gonna kill Jason? I mean, don't get me wrong, I don't want you to kill him and I'd fight like hell to make sure you don't. But...he did kind of just get you killed so you can see why I'm a little confused about you're kind of change of heart, I guess." You explain, eyeing him from the corner of your eye.

"You'll just have to trust me. I never wanted him dead. He was just giving us no choice." There's something almost sad that trickles into his voice while his expression gives nothing away.

"There's always a choice, Dick." You say quietly. "You can't say there isn't a choice when you yelled at me for killing and you're mad at Jason for killing. And you preached about how we can't be judge, jury, and executioner. There is a choice."

"Jason was going to kill all of us." Dick defends his stance, not acknowledging the hypocrisy of it all.

"So? And the ones we want dead will keep trying to kill other people. Or worse. Just because we, specifically, aren't their targets doesn't mean they get a pass. The innocent people that are their targets deserve the same amount of care and protection that we offer each other." You pull in a breath, feeling Dick move his stare to you. "We clearly didn't have to kill him, is my point."

This is the most Dick has gotten out about your motive. It's more than it being about the kids left behind. It's the bigger picture. That there is a choice and sometimes it's a bad choice and a hard choice but one that means, in your head, protecting the greater good in the same way Dick wants to protect the Titans. It doesn't mean he agrees with you, but he does see your point of view for once.

"Do you disagree with going after Jason?"

"No." You answer plainly. "I'm just incredibly loyal to him. If it were anyone else, they'd be dead. And I understand that's a bit hypocritical given what I just said. That's why circumstances and background are important when making the decision to kill someone." You shake your head. "I know him. I know him being a cold-blooded killer isn't him. Background matters."

"You're right it does. I do not want him dead." Dick offers a sincere nod towards you before it falls silent between you.

You finally reach the spot from last night where Dick was killed. Dick finds the Red Hood helmet, picks it up and takes it along with him. There's a puddle of blood still on the pavement that makes your stomach twist. It's as if blood stains everything it touches.

You're still unconvinced Jason will be here like Dick says. He's not psychic all of a sudden. But, you stay with him anyway, hoping you run into Jason and of course, you do. Somehow, Dick is right about this. Jason is yelling that Red Hood is back as he fires a gun into the air.

"Jason...it's okay." Dick calls, getting Jason's attention as he spins around quickly. His face is still covered in blood and cuts from the fight the night before. His eyes nearly bug out of his head, this can't be right. "It's me."

He knows the three of you took Dick to the Pit but there is a part of him that still can't believe it worked. Watching the life literally leave someone's body only for them to be alive the following day, that's more than unsettling. It feels wrong. It's the same wrong feeling Jason gets any time he gets a moment of silence and can hear his own heartbeat in his ears. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

But he is relieved to see Dick walking and alive. The feeling of it being wrong, is just the echo in his own bones. Dick should be the one alive. If the Pit were to work on anyone and offer someone a second chance, it should be Dick.

"It worked?" Jason questions, almost losing the breath from his lungs with the words. His eyes land on you as if you're the only one who can confirm if this is real or not.

You nod once. "Yeah, it did."

"You knew?" Dick asks.

Jason nods. "Rachel said that's where Gar was taking you." Jason explains as his eyes start to grow glassy, the guilt thundering through his bones once more.

"We don't have much time. I need your help." Dick cuts the conversation short, knowing they can't discuss this now but he's getting the idea maybe Jason did just want to talk. He looks hurt and relieved to see him and you.

You, on the other hand, are still uneasy. Dick isn't giving you any indication that this is going to go sideways but you feel yourself grip a knife from your belt anyway. This can't go sideways again. You all working on different teams has not helped fight Crane but working together should. Crane, at the very least, won't see it coming. You just don't want to see anyone else close to you die again.

"You want me to help you?" Jason asks, stretching his arms out at his sides in disbelief. He can't help. Not after what he's become. "I'm a fucking murderer."

"You know how Crane is operating. You know how he thinks." Dick starts. "He needs to be stopped or a lot more people are gonna die." Dick pauses for just a second. "You want redemption?" Dick asks as Jason hangs his head. "Do you?" Dick asks more firmly this time. "This is the first step."

Of course he wants redemption for the harm he's caused but his methods now do not align with Dick's. He's almost gotten them killed and he did kill Hank. He betrayed them. How is he supposed to go back now and help? After everything? After what he's become? It sounds hopeless and he almost lets his pity get the best of him until his eyes meet yours.

"We need your help, Jay." You plead with him.

Jason shakes his head. "You can't stop him." Jason answers with defeat rather than snark. He genuinely believes Gotham is lost to Crane. "He's got everything. The police, the Batcave. He's gonna take the whole fucking city down!"

"How?" Dick asks more in a way that sounds like a demand.

"You think I know?" Jason scoffs. "He doesn't tell me shit."

"Jay? You have to know something. You've been with him this entire time and you wanted to talk to Dick last night. You know something." You urge, practically begging him to just say something.

He told you once that he remembers everything. Crane slipped somewhere and all Jason has to do is remember. Think of whatever the hell Crane said that might be a clue.

Jason hangs his head as tears start to come to his eyes. "It was all crazy shit." Jason pauses for a second. "Like waves of anger and fear. The bright and darkened lands of the Earth. Something about an attack you and Bruce stopped a long time ago." Jason states, looking at Dick with confusion knowing Bruce never told him.

"Years ago, Crane sent a poem to Jim Gordon with clues about an attack on Gotham. A chain of explosives to release his fear toxin. We stopped him before he had the chance to set it off. Bruce took Crane's weapons and put them in the Gotham Armory to study them."

"And Crane's in the Batcave." Jason finishes. "So, he knows where those weapons are."

"And so do we now." Dick states as he extends Jason's helmet out to him. "We need to go."

Jason puts the pistol back in the holster on his leg. "So, I'm a Titan again?" Jason asks.

"No, you'll never be a Titan again." Dick states before he closes the distance between them, offering his helmet. "But, you can help us save Gotham."

Jason eyes the helmet as the feeling of being lost hits him like a ton of bricks. He never really fit in being a Titan anyway but...something about the confirmation that even if he were to change back to who he was before, it's over, really hits him. It's something he can't come back from. That part of his life, Robin, is gone. It's lost to the darkness. The Joker took it from him. Crane took it from him. The one thing he thought made him who he is, is shattered with so many of his hopes. It's lost and gone and Jason can't help but feel alone and lost now.

But, feeling that way got him here in the first place so he takes the helmet from Dick.

"How do I know you're not going to kill me?" Jason asks.

"Because now I know what it's like to die." Dick answers harshly.

Jason's eyes glance to you and then back to the helmet in his hands. It's more guilt. It's always guilt that comes back like the bladed boomerang. Jason knows firsthand what it's like to die, too and that didn't stop him. That was never a reason for him to stop. It doesn't matter that he was drugged and manipulated because, to Jason, Dick's reason should have been enough. It doesn't matter that the drug removed his guilt and his fear and the feeling of being haunted and stalked by something dark and twisted. He should have known better and he put death on Hank anyway. He lead Dick to getting killed.

He should have known better than to go after the people who actually cared about him. He knows what it's like to die and Dick does, too. To Jason, that should give Dick enough reason to kill him and yet...he doesn't and he seems sincere.

"Fine." Jason agrees reluctantly. "How can I help?" Jason asks letting out a steady breath as he nods his head.

"Come on. I've got a car around the block. We're going to break into the vault." Dick says casually as he starts walking past Jason.

Jason looks at you before you roll your eyes, trailing after Dick, Jason falling in line with you. The two of you follow Dick to the car he, for some reason, just has. You and Jason can only assume it's from last night. He had to get to Jason some way. Jason takes the passenger seat while you sit in the back, sitting right in the middle. Dick starts the drive while Jason is stuck in the car with his brother. This is not the ideal situation.

"Do you want to explain any of this?" Dick asks after a few minutes of silence. "How we got here?"

"Not really." Jason quips back with frustration looking out the window. He's not even entirely sure where to start. It all feels like this started so long ago and maybe in a way it did. Maybe it started that day he stole the hubcaps. Maybe he should have listened to Dick and you about Bruce. "After fucking everything, I just can't believe Bruce couldn't fucking kill the Joker." Jason lets out a scoff. "He fucking beat me to death with a fucking crowbar and Bruce just...fucks off somewhere." Jason scoffs again, barely able to hide the crack in his voice.

The car falls dead silent as Dick glances in the rearview mirror at you before you lean forward in between the boys. You and Dick are on the verge of exploding. This really cannot be Jason's entire motive. How the hell doesn't he know? You look at Jason who's giving you a confused and annoyed expression. You look back to Dick who is clearly trying to figure out how he's supposed to burst this bubble without it leading to another fistfight.

"I got it." You state before looking to Jason. "Who exactly do you think killed the Joker?" You blink at him with your brows raised, really hoping Jason's motive is not entirely linked to this little bit of information.

Jason eyes you, looking to the side and then back at you. The look you're giving him with Dick glancing at him has him feeling like Crane may have lied to him about that, too. But, Bruce wouldn't throw his morals away, right? Not for someone like Jason. Not for Jason. Bruce didn't kill the Joker.

"Uh...Crane said it was one of the prisoners who dressed like the Bat?" Jason lets out a scoff, playing it off in hopes this conversation is not going where he thinks it's going.

You look back at Dick who looks like he might have an aneurysm. Jason has been deadset on his new form of justice which you agree with but...if he thinks Bruce didn't kill the Joker for him, maybe that's his motive. You always felt his hatred towards Dick was just some weird rivalry amplified by Crane but if Jason thought no one avenged him...maybe that's it. You almost cringe at the idea of having to burst his bubble.

"You hear it, right?" You ask Jason as you look back at him. "Like..." You pause, scrunching your nose. "Crane, inmate dressing as the Bat."

There is no fucking way Bruce actually killed someone, the Joker, for Jason.

"Did....did Bruce actually do it?" Jason huffs as if he expects you and Dick to be messing with him as some sort of cruel payback or even to get him back on the "good" side.

"Walked into my room with a bloody crowbar." Dick states.

He cannot believe of all lies for Jason to believe from Crane, he had to believe that one. Crane is a manipulative asshole who's had Jason drugged and under his thumb ever since coming back, but how does Jason actually believe this? Even though Bruce has always been completely against murder in any instance, Jason should have known it was a lie. All of Gotham knows it was actually Batman.

"He actually did it?" Jason asks but this time, there's a sense of shock and remorse in his voice.

Every single part of him should feel relieved that Bruce would do this for him. Bruce Wayne, Batman, the same guy who has preached about not being judge, jury, and executioner, killed someone for him. Bruce killed The Joker for beating Jason to death and Jason should feel relieved and thankful but instead, he just feels guilty. Maybe wanting Bruce to avenge his death was never the thing he really wanted.

"Yeah, Jay." You nod your head, your voice quiet and sad. "Fuck Bruce, but I told you he loved you."

"Fuck." Jason lets out a groan, resting his head back on the headrest. "I really fucking thought he wouldn't do it."

Jason always thought Bruce would never break that moral code. He said it would be too easy to keep going. It's always just that one and then there would be another who's just as bad. The lines would start to blur and he wouldn't be able to stop. But, Jason did think if he ever were going to break it, it would have been for Dick, not Jason. He had no idea he actually meant that much to Bruce and now Bruce up and leaving Gotham without a trace makes sense. It wasn't that Crane drove him away or some sort of hideaway until things cooled down after losing his son. It was the grief of it all. The blame Bruce has to feel, knowing he led Jason into the road of Robin.

"Was that your only motivation for this?" Dick questions, almost not wanting to know the answer.

"Of course not." Jason sneers. "But...it didn't help." Jason grits his teeth. "I don't fucking know." Jason crosses his arms, not more aggravated over the whole thing than ever.

Crane took everything from him. And Jason trusted him.

"It's okay if you're mad at him for not saving you and thinking he didn't avenge your death." You state softly. "But now you know."

"I'm not though." Jason states as he nearly cuts you off, catching you both off guard. "I'm not fucking mad at him for not saving me." Jason's voice trails off. "I...fuck it. Forget it, alright? Crane lied to me about that, too and here we are." Jason lets out a scoff as he shakes his head before turning to look out his window.

Dick always felt like Jason was the type to hold a grudge, get unreasonable mad about things beyond his control. But, in the time since the tower, he got to know him better, finding out that wasn't entirely true. Jason's statement just now proves that. It was never about Bruce not saving him or even avenging him. It was him being alone. Thrown to the side the second things started to get messy. It was always about him feeling abandoned and less than, not good enough.

And you can see that, too.

You look to Dick and for once, Dick looks worried. "Don't worry," You start, earning a look from Jason. "I'll kill Crane for you." You offer him a soft smile that almost makes Jason laugh.

"Really?" Dick questions with annoyance.

"Don't pretend like you don't want him dead." You chortle.

"Yeah, right." Jason scoffs. "He's too good for it." Jason nearly chortles with you just to mock Dick.

"Hey!" Dick challenges. "Crane is bad, he just needs to remain locked away."

"No, you want him dead." You nod your head. "He killed your brother, drove your adoptive dad away, almost killed me, killed Hank, has been actively trying to get you killed for two weeks, and turned all of Gotham against the Titans. You want him dead. I can tell."

"You got a fucking sixth sense for right now?" Jason quips, this time actually letting a laugh slip from the bottom of his lungs.

"No." You chortle. "Dick isn't as stern when he talks about not killing Crane. He always has this look about killing being wrong and he always says the same thing, he doesn't do either with Crane."

"He's just a bad person." Dick defends himself, not even wanting to humor your theory behind this.

"No shit, man." Jason huffs. "I fucking died and he probably set the whole thing up."

"So did I." Dick states back.

"Gar died, you both died, Donna died and all of you came back. We all just taking turns? Where should I stand in line?" You quip with the intention of not letting them even start an argument.

"Not funny." Jason and Dick say at the same time, making themselves grimace.

You burst into a fit of laughter. "I told you, Jay. You two--"

"Shut the fuck up." Jason hits his head on the back of the headrest, closing his eyes. The last thing he wants to hear is that him and Dick even have one similarity but his voice isn't harsh and there might even the smallest hint of a smirk on his lips.

You lean back in your seat with the shake of your head and a gentle smile. This is going to eat at him for a while but you hope Bruce will come back. Maybe after you take out Crane, Dick will be able to find him and him and Jason can go get him. Maybe Jason getting to see Bruce after all of this will ease some of his guilt. You've had talks about it. You know him being fooled into thinking Bruce didn't avenge him isn't his entire motive. Jason always felt like Bruce could do more and this is doing more. It doesn't make it easy for him or make him feel better, but you know there's always more to Jason's motives than something surface-level.

Once you get to the armory, the three of you enter with ease. There are no guards this time. There's no one even here, just the three of you which allows you to walk right up to the vault. The entire city is in a bit of chaos, using up any force that might have been here. It's not ideal for everyone else, but it is definitely beneficial to you, Jason, and Dick right about now.

You reach the vault door where Jason takes the lead, lining the door with a sort of liquid that then ignites and breaks the seals of the door, fire almost engulfing the door until it hits the floor. Jason is the first one to step inside, his gun pointed forward with a flashlight on top. You follow right behind him with your own flashlight and then Dick.

"Let's go." Dick says once he gets in front of you and Jason, leading the way to case you need.

Dick opens the case only for nothing to be inside besides a book called Collected Poems by Will Auden.

"I don't get it. There's supposed to be like two hundred ampules." Jason states with frustration. "What the fuck is that?"

Dick reaches forward and grabs the book. "Bright and darkened lands of the Earth." Dick states, looking at the book.

You and Jason look between each other and then back to Dick. Of all things for Dick to understand, a random book of poems is the thing he understands. Of course, he does.

"What are you talking about?" Jason asks.

"Crane's poem." Dick states as he opens the book, flipping to somewhere in the middle. "His war on Gotham."

Jason snatches the book back, you looking over his arm to see the page Dick opened.

"Fuck." Jason groans.

Crane's already beat you here. It has to be some sort of gloat thing he's doing, like he's already two steps ahead of you. He's been two steps ahead this whole time and his war on Gotham is now in full swing. What are you all supposed to do if you can't locate the bombs and disable them? What if Crane is already out there ready to blow up the city?

"What are we supposed to do now?" You ask, looking up to Dick.

Dick pauses for a second, looking to the empty case and then back to you and Jason. "Let's go. I have an idea." Dick says quickly before he turns and heads towards the exit.

The three of you head back to the car, taking back your seats as Dick immediately starts driving. You're watching him and you're fascinated by how quickly Dick can change directions. Not a single part of you is surprised but you are fascinated by it. He was trained by Batman. To be out there, as a vigilante, you have to know how to pivot immediately. Dick is really good at it. So, is Jason. It's something the two of them have in common. The ability to adapt to anything and everything, even when everything is covered in bloody chaos.

"One poem, multiple bombs." Dick starts. "Clues to where the bombs are are placed in the poems."

"What's the plan?" Jason asks, his stare on Dick hoping Dick does actually have some sort of backup plan.

"Find some supers and stop the bombs from going off." Dick says it almost casually as if it's something so simple and easy.

"Titans?" Jason scoffs. "What are they gonna do when they see me?"

Jason knows there is no way the Titans are going to welcome him back with open arms and trust him just because Dick and you say he's safe now. Gar might but Kory, Conner, and Rachel won't. He's been actively targeting them and he killed Hank. They're not just going to forget that and move on like nothing happened. They'll likely try and kill him the second they see him at this point. He got Dick killed.

"They're not." Dick states, revving the engine before pulling over at a curb.

"What's going on?" Jason asks once the car is stopped.

"Get out." Dick states.

"Out?" Jason asks, hurt covering his voice.

"I can't bring you back to the Titans. It'll cause a war." Dick explains. "But I do need you."

"So, I'm your dirty little secret?" Jason quips.

"You want to help us, this is the way it's gonna be. I can only fight one war at a time."

You remain silent, not daring to get in the middle of the two of them. It's the smart decision because there's no way everyone will trust him. Everyone will start fighting and arguing and nothing will get done. Crane will win just because there's a fight between the Titans, which is probably what he wants anyway. It might hurt Jason, but it is the only way this can even work.

"When do you need me?" Jason agrees with a bit of reluctance in his voice.

"If you don't hear from me before, meet me back here in three hours. Got it?" Dick asks.

"Yeah." Jason says quietly.

"You, too." Dick looks back at you.

"Why do I have to get out?" You let out a scoff as Jason quickly looks back at you, wondering what you did this time to piss off the rest of the Titans.

"Safety, precautions, you two work well together." Dick states. "Three hours."

"Got it." You nod your head once before you exit the vehicle with Jason.

Once your doors are shut, Dick drives off. You look over to him and Jason dodges your stare, looking to the side. It's the shame that's eating at him. Falling for all of Crane's lies, getting Dick killed, having to be kept a secret. He was once a Titan and now they can't know he's even helping. Instead, Dick has you here because you work well together, sure, but also to make sure Jason doesn't back out of it. He's not even mad because he'd do the same thing but it hurts and he feels so painfully guilty for everything. He's destroyed everything.

"Come on." Jason jerks his head to the right. "Safe house is close." Jason starts walking, helmet in hand while Sam follows him.

The silence between you builds like a sturdy brick wall. It's in the silence that you have time to process everything. It's always the silence that acts as a marinade for all things fueled with anger and misery. Dick might be alive and Jason might be alive but Jason is the reason Dick died in the first place. He could have stopped. For two seconds, Jason could have called a truce and he didn't and Dick died for it. There never would have been a crowd. The kid with the gun wouldn't have been there and Dick wouldn't have gotten shot. Jason didn't pull the trigger, but he didn't have to. Dick stood there and told Jason the reason Dick won't kill him is because he knows what it's like to die. Well, so does Jason so why the fuck didn't Jason take that into consideration?

You know it was the drug but it bites and gnaws at you anyway because watching everyone you care about die is hacking away at you.

"You alright?" Jason finally asks. You being completely silent never sits quite well with him. There is nothing that sounds more deadly than your silence in moments like these.

"I don't know, Jay. I just watched Dick die and come back to life. What the fuck do you think?" You snap without processing your thought.

"The fuck you mad at me for now?" Jason snaps back. "I didn't pull the fucking trigger. I went there to talk." Jason barks, really not wanting to be reprimanded at the moment. He knows.

"You know what? You might as well have, Jason." You snap, your steps becoming harder against the pavement. "You could have stopped at any point and told him you just wanted to talk and explain it but you didn't. Not one part of you decided to do that. And for the life of me, I can't figure out why. So, Dick was killed because of that. You didn't do it. But that kid thinks he did the right thing to protect you. Dick wasn't even the enemy. So, that's shit." You let your own anger get the best of you, not even to tear him a part for it but just because you need to yell about it.

"It's not my fucking fault." Jason groans. "I didn't ask anyone to do that." Jason defends himself, knowing he's wrong.

"You don't have to!" You finally yell. "People will follow you like a damn cult because you command attention when you walk into a room. You are charismatic and enthralling. They have always been some of your best qualities but in this instance, it wasn't good. They believe in you, Jay." You look back over to him as Jason hangs his head, watching his feet hit the wet pavement. "But, Crane turned the city against the Titans, to follow you." You look forward as you shake your head. "I know I told you to work with him, but it didn't have to get to you and Dick fighting and him dying. It never had to end that way. You could turn them back to the right side." Your voice goes quiet with your last sentence earning you a glance from Jason.

"I didn't think he'd listen, alright? He was the one that set up the flash bang and came in ready for a fight. I didn't think it was any use and I didn't know those fucking people would be there. I..." Jason swallows his own words, not wanting to get into it.

You being willing to die for him is one thing. He hates it. He'd never let you if he could help it, especially having experienced what it's like to die. He would never. But, you love him. You have seen him at his good and bad. You've seen everything in between. Jason has fully exposed all of himself to you in every way anyone possibly could. And you would die for him. You would kill for him. No questions asked because you know Jason Todd better than he knows himself half the time. But these random people? They don't know him. Why the fuck would they kill someone for him? Why would they do that?

"I'm sorry, alright?" Jason's voice comes back down. "I know. I could have fucking done something and I didn't." Jason's saw clenches. "I'm fucking trying." His words are firm but there's a hopelessness in them.

"I know." You say quietly.

"I have a lot to make up for and I don't know if I'm gonna be able to do but I promise, I'm trying. I just...fucked it up." Jason's breath leaves his lips, the fog coming out in a haunting blow.

"I know...I just..." You shake your head. "I'm just really worried about all of you, all the time. You, Gar, Dick. You guys are the closest people to me besides Molly and I just...you're very important to me and this could be something so good and it was." You suck in a breath, the cold air starting to dry out your throat. "And I think we all deserve it. The Titans."

"Yeah..." Jason's shoulders slouch forward. "You do." Jason says quietly, keeping his stare ahead him even as you look over to him.

You've always deserved better than anything Gotham has given you. All this city has done is take everything you care about. And you only even started killing because of him. Even when Jason knows there's more to it, that was your breaking point. You're not shunned from being a Titan and maybe that'd be better for you.

"If you want to be a Titan after all of this, you should." Jason states in his way where he tries to sound really casual to hide his real feelings.

You snap your attention back to him. "Why would I do that?" You nearly scoffs at the very idea, especially coming from him.

"You're good at it and you like it. They like you and you fit in." Jason answers with ease, as if it were something he'd thought about more than a few times. "Why trap yourself here if you don't have to?"

It's as if the air is being pulled from your lungs by rusty hooks. How could he say that? He's here. Home is here. Molly is here. It's not a trap being in Gotham. Coming back, coming home, was a choice you made all on your own and not a single ounce of you even regrets it. You can't regret it. You got to reunite with Molly and while it has been agonizing lately, you had some of your best and favorite moments with Jason here. You got to make a different life again. It felt like home again. Here. Not in San Francisco. Why would he tell you to be a Titan?

"You want me to be a Titan?" You ask, doing your best to hide the hurt in your voice.

"Not up to me." Jason shrugs his shoulders casually, still keeping his stare away from you.

"That's not what I asked." You bite back, keeping your stare on him.

Jason looks back over to you as you reach the building. Jason opens the door for you, leading you in first before he shuts and locks the door behind you. You stand directly in front of him so he can't move once the door is shut. He doesn't get to avoid this conversation when he's the one that brought it up. If he wants you to leave, then he can tell you and then deal with the fact you will not.

"Answer me." You demand.

Jason looks to the right before looking back at you. He always thought you would anyway. After everything, it only makes sense to him for you to leave. You said San Francisco caused you so much pain that you didn't want to be there anymore. But, Gotham has caused you so much pain, you're not even the same person you were a month ago. He doesn't want you to leave but he wants you to be happy and he worries that just won't be here. Not with the track record.

"I always thought you would." Jason shrugs as his voice almost trails off.

"Because?" You search as your brows furrow. "What? I'd get bored of you? Tired of you?" Your eyes scan his face, knowing all of his insecurities. He can't hide from you like he can with everyone else.

Jason looks to the ground and back to you with the shrug of his shoulders. "No." Jason answers. "You didn't come back for me. Thought you'd figure it out and just...go back."

You narrow your eyes. "That's not the full reason." You say softly. "Tell me."

Jason shifts his weight, favoring his bad leg as it starts to ache. He shakes his head with defeat. "Just want you to be happy." Jason says honestly. "This place is fucking shit and you know it. And you hate Bruce but you don't wanna give this up. Bruce doesn't like other vigilantes in the city and..." Jason's heart breaks as he watches your expression fall. "Yeah, I thought you'd leave." Jason nods his head.

"Jay, I told--"

"Because I died." Jason cuts you off with a scoff. "That day on the roof, I fucking destroyed you. I died and it completely destroyed you. When you found out about the drug and Crane, then everything else, I thought you'd fucking leave."

"Yeah," You nod quickly as your eyes turn glassy. "It did destroy me. The whole damn thing hurt but that doesn't mean I want to leave. It doesn't mean I want to be a Titan." Your voice is almost pleading with him to not push without you ever saying it. "This is my home and Molly is here and my mom is buried here and you are here. I don't care if we're not together, you're here. The city is a shitshow so it needs us. It needs us and Batman to help."

"Are you sure?" Jason questions. "I mean, look at this place. I just want you to be happy. I don't fucking know."

You let out a sigh. "You didn't answer the question." You state as Jason opens his mouth. "I asked if you wanted me to. You just said you always thought I'd leave."

Jason shakes his head. "Of course not." Jason lets out a scoff, not even trying to lie or dodge it anymore.

"Good cause I'm not leaving, Jay." You nod your head. "I was always happiest here with you." Your words are barely above a whisper as you look to the floor. "So," You pull in a breath. "You don't have that to worry about. I was gonna stay anyway, no plans to leave again. Tired of running." Your voice turns airy, almost hopeful with your last sentence.

"I don't get you." Jason lets out a laugh that's filled with relief.

"Yeah, you do." You laugh softly. "You're the only one whoever did." You shrug your shoulders, moving past him to the stairs. "You know, you and Dick could probably bond over your whole dying experience now. Probably bring you closer." You offer with sarcasm earning a groan and then a laugh as Jason walks over to you.

"Oh, yeah? We sit down for a family dinner at the manor and tell Bruce all about it? Like a fucking field trip?" Jason quips right back as the two of you make your way upstairs.

"Yeah!" You laugh. "Hear me out, it might freak Bruce out which would be funny."

Jason shakes his head with a soft chuckle. "Us getting along? Yeah, that'll freak Bruce out."

You nudge him lightly. "That'll freak everyone out, actually."

The two of you go upstairs into Jason's makeshift bedroom. You head over to the window to look at the people down below. Everyone is fending for themselves and there are still fires in the streets. There aren't any cars this time. There are always cars.

You lean against the wall and slide down, keeping your head turned towards the window as Jason keeps his distance, watching you closely as he traps himself in his own head again. While you have been on Jason's side, you've also actively been trying to make sure the Titans are at a distance and safe from Jason. You can say you've always been on Jason's side this whole time and maybe that's true, but you also were entirely in the middle. It was never Titans or Jason for you. You were always determined to cut the wire. It was always going to be all of them even if it killed you.

Jason remembers you willing to die for him, how terrifying that was. No one in his entire life was ever willing to do that. Maybe Bruce would have but it's something Jason isn't sure of. He was sure of you. Deathstroke proved that and you confirmed it that night. You would die for him because you love him and Jason always thought that was absurd, even if he'd die for you, too. Dying for you seemed to be the easiest thing he would do if it came to it. But you dying for him? Insane. It had to be insanity but these past two weeks have taught him something else entirely.

You would just die for anyone you loved if that's what it took.

There is not a doubt in Jason's mind that you would put your life in danger for Gar. Of course, you would. He's Gar. Everyone would probably do it. There's Molly and Jason actually feels bad for anyone who would even think of coming after her. You'd die for Tim because of course you would. You care about him and Tim is determined and smart. Krypto is no question. You loved Donna and thought she was the coolest Titan, that's easy. You thought Kory was one of the coolest and most badass people you'd ever met while also being immensely kind. You told Jason once that the Titans need her. So, you'd die for her, too. Jason isn't entirely sure of the big reason you'd save Conner or Dawn or Hank but he knows you would. And then there's Dick. You'd save Dick because he's the leader. Because he saved your life. Because you look up to him. Because he's important to everyone.

It's not that you would die for Jason. It's that you would die for anyone you love if it ever came to it. Jason would be lying if he said he doesn't admire that. Though, he wonders if that's what will be your last straw or if you'll understand one day that you shouldn't have to die for the people you care about. Jason swore he'd die for you. That part was easy but the more time that passes, the more he's realizing he wants to live for you. Living is harder. He hopes you learn that, too. You deserve to want to live for someone and for yourself.

"What's with the symbol?" You snap Jason from his thoughts.

"What?" Jason questions, almost doing a double take.

"The rip off bat symbol. Your idea or Crane's?" You ask bluntly as your eyes dart between his and the red symbol on his chest.

Jason looks down to his chest where the red symbol stares up at him. "Mine." Jason chuckles softly, a devilish grin pushing itself onto his lips. "Why?" He asks and he walks over to the other side of the window from you, sliding down the wall and matching your position.

You let out a soft laugh as you shrug. "Funny that's what you would pick given you thought he didn't kill the Joker for you." You pull in a breath. "Why?"

Jason shrugs. "Fuck Bruce." Jason answers easily as if the answer were so simple anyone could have figured it out, as if he isn't neglecting the entire explanation.

The bat symbol represents Bruce's way of thinking. Inciting fear into the hearts of everyone so they don't do bad things. It works, sometimes. But, it doesn't work enough. The bat symbol represents a certain moral compass where even under the worst of circumstances, killing is still wrong. It represents Bruce. Jason wanted something to almost mock him, a fuck you and watch this to Bruce. Fear doesn't always work. It's not the best way. For Jason, he needed something to spite Bruce, prove his methods will be better because there should never be another Jason. Or Dick. Or any of them. No one should have to suffer the way all of them have. It was to represent everything Bruce refused to do for the greater good.

But Bruce did kill The Joker so Jason feels lost.

But then you offer this warm smile, one that says you understand every single thought in his mind without him ever having to explain.

"Yeah..." You sigh softly. "Fuck Bruce." You laugh softly. "I like it, by the way. Bruce only killed him for you. He never would have under any other circumstances." You pause before you tilt your head to the left quickly, raise your brows. "Well, he might have for Dick, too. But, it would have to be one of you. So...good for you, Jay." You nod your head softly.

"Don't think it's fucked?" Jason chortles.

"Oh, no it definitely is." You nod quickly. "I mean, just when I think I've got some daddy issues, I meet you and Dick. It's definitely fucked. But, like it anyway." You smile but Jason doesn't quite match it. There's a sadness washing itself over his face. "I think Gotham will like it, too." You say quietly.

"Yeah? Why?" Jason repositions, pulling his right leg to his chest. "Because I'm charismatic and enthralling?" A touch of a grin finds itself on his lips.

"Fuck you, no." You laugh softly. "They're brainwashed but...I think it took one video because you've already been out there controlling the drug trade, looking to get into guns. You've taken out some really terrible people and are trying to get this shit under control. They already liked you."

"I also helped get a drug onto the streets and contributed to everything with Crane." Jason points out.

"Yeah, but you've been distancing yourself and you also tried to save Nightwing. I mean, you tried to kill him, too but you just tried to save him and they'll remember that. They'll figure out Crane brainwashed them and see you were also brainwashed."

"I guess we'll see." Jason lets out a scoff. "But, thanks." Jason offers you a nod.

"Just being honest." You pull in a breath as you move your stare back to the window. "You gonna keep Red Hooding after this is over then?" You look back at him with hopeful eyes.

Jason shrugs. "Yeah, maybe." Jason nods his head softly. "Especially with Bruce fucking MIA." Jason gives you a soft smile. "You gonna keep this shit up?"

"Absolutely." You nod with confidence. "You're right, I do like it. The vigilantism, I mean." Your smile turns kind and loving. "You're a good Red Hood. You're gonna help a lot of people, Jay." Your smile is warm and honest, filling Jason's entire chest with hope.

"So are you." Jason matches the smile before the two of you look to the window, falling into a comfortable silence.

You get a text from Dick, apparently, the towers are back and running which is a relief but according to his text, Crane released some of his smoke downtown. He leaves the text with a warning for you and Jason to stay where you are until the smoke dies down or until he says otherwise. So, the two of you seem to be stuck here for the night.

You're safe here, entirely. You don't have to worry about the smoke or anyone coming to kill you. You're safe from it all for the first time in weeks and it's as if, weirdly as it is, you both can breathe freely. It doesn't feel like your very breath can shatter the illusion of peace. You both are allowed to breathe freely and openly.

You let your mind wander anywhere but to the disaster outside. The more you're in these situations, the more you're learning to compartmentalize it. There is no choice in this. It has to be done otherwise it'll eat you. You wonder how Dick is able to do it so well. Surely that's how he's so good at being Nightwing. He isn't heartless, he just shelves what he needs to until after a mission. It's something you need to be better at and so you sit here tonight and try to do it. You focus on anything but the disaster.

And then there's Jason who finds his mind going to your previous conversation a few minutes ago. You think he can be a hero again. He can use Red Hood for good, do it his own way. He lifts his head, looking over at you and how peaceful you look. You really do trust him. You really do just believe in him, after everything, there's something in you that believes in him even when you absolutely should not.

Jason keeps his eyes on you, wondering if you're right. He hopes you are. Jason just wants to help. That's what he wants to do. That's all he's wanted to do. That was supposed to be the plan before Crane showed his true motive. Jason wants to help the innocent people Bruce overlooks. Sex workers, sexual assault victims, domestic violence survivors, children who are put in all of these situations. A lot of them never make it onto Bruce's radar. He's busy dealing with everything else and a lot more of it happens in places like Crime Alley, somewhere Bruce doesn't go unless it's the anniversary of his parents' death. Someone needs to keep them safe, too. He wants to control the crime because he does believe that's the right way. No one can stop crime. That's impossible. But, Jason thinks he can control it. It's worth a shot. Someone needs to try. That's what he wants to do.

Maybe he can do it.

"I can feel you staring at me, Jay." You state as you look back over at him.

"Sorry." Jason mutters, feeling heat rush over his cheeks as he looks back outside.

"What's going inside that head of yours?" You ask.

Jason looks back to you, letting a beat pass before he settles on what to say. "Thanks for believing in me and being here." Jason pulls in a breath.

"Always." You say softly before it goes quiet again.

Time ticks by and it's you that ends up glancing towards Jason. He's holding his bad leg to his chest, seeming to be absentmindedly massaging the muscle of his thigh with his thumbs as he keeps his stare out the window. The white streak reflects off the lights from the window and the bruises are bright red from Dick's fists and enimga sticks. But, he doesn't look stressed this time. He looks content for once. And you always think there's hope for him but his position confirms it.

Which, lets your mind wander back to how you and him were. It wanders back to the night outside Excellent Gotham. It was the right thing to do. There is good, there is bad, and there is all of this grey in between. Something might be the right thing to do, for the greater good, to save someone, but that doesn't always make it fair or just or painless. It was the right thing to do, to save Jason. But, you wonder in the silence of the night, what happens after then. The bell has been rung and you're dealing with it but it doesn't feel good. Being around him feels like you're trying to breathe through water. You don't want to give up on you and him. You're gonna take out Crane, the Titans are going to leave, Bruce will probably come back, and it'll start to fall back into a new normal. And you want to know what kind of new normal that's going to be.

You want the new normal to still be you and him.

But you don't even want to ask about it. You hurt him and it just doesn't feel right to ask even if it'll gnaw at you until you do.

"I can feel you staring." Jason quips, looking at you, saying it on purpose.

You roll your eyes but the smile never reaches your eyes before it falls. "Yeah, yeah, yeah." You mock him, waving a hand haphazardly at him before you get to your feet and stretch before you lean your back against the wall. You look back at Jason and you can tell by the raise of his brows and his wide eyes, he's expecting you to elaborate. You let out a defeated sigh. "Hey, Jay?"

"Yes?" Jason answers expectantly.

"Where do we stand?" You ask bluntly. "I mean....you and me." You nod once. "After all of this and everything. I'll follow your lead." You nod a few times. "Ball's in your court this time."

As much as you would like to go to the roof and scream your lungs out about how much you want to be with him and how much you love him, you know you can't. None of that is fair to him. Jason Todd was murdered and then came back from the dead. He was used and abused and manipulated. He's not fine and he should be able to learn how to live now, rediscover who he is after all of this if he needs to. You telling him you want to go right back to where you were before he died, sounds cruel. It's as if you won't give him a choice, like you expect him to just be normal and you don't. So, you ask him and you let it be his decision because it should be. It was you that ended things anyway and it was you that betrayed him, more than he betrayed you is the way you see it.

Jason feels his heart in his throat. He hates this but he knows there is no other choice. He swears this one fucking time, he is not doing it to push. He is doing it for himself and for you. He owes you more. He owes you more than he has ever given you. He owes himself more.

You have said it over and over that Jason is loved and he is not alone, at the very least, he has you and he is loved by you. There is not a single day that he is not eternally grateful for you. But, that's not enough. It's not enough because, after everything, Jason still feels like he is not enough. He watches the chaos he has brought on all of these people who he cares about and who care about him. Someone who is enough, doesn't do that. And he died. The trauma of that isn't going to go away because you love him and he loves you. He desperately wishes it were so simple, but it's not.

Jason swore he would never hurt you but he thinks about that night outside of Excellent Gotham and how it looked like it was ripping you to shreds to end things and to give up on him, even if you never meant it. You didn't deserve it. He needs to figure himself out and sort out some of this pain in his chest before it metastasizes more. He needs to just exist for a second and work on who he is after coming back. He owes it to himself and then he owes it to you. It's not fair to continue something if he isn't sure he'll be okay in the end of this. That's not fair to either of you.

So, as much as it physically pains him, he knows where you stand.

"Uh..." Jason pulls in a breath and you know. Jason doesn't stutter often. "I really fucking hurt you." Jason nods his head.

"I hurt you..." You hang your head in shame before looking back to him.

"Yeah, deserved it though." Jason lets out a scoff before he shakes his head. "Look," Jason starts as he pushes himself off the wall and walks over to you, standing in front of you. "I don't want to ever hurt you again." Jason states and you know there is a but coming. This is not going to end the way you dreamed it would. "So, I think-think we need to sort our shit out."

You hang your head, feeling the lump in your throat. It was as if the night you ended things, it wasn't quite real. He was high and you were mad. Then you rescued him and it's been kind of weird ever since. It didn't feel quite like you broke up but it didn't feel like you were together. It has felt like this weird state of in-between where you're tripping over each other trying to find the right footing. And now, it seems you've found it in an unknown territory. It's scary.

It's scary because after being rescued, Jason is one of the only things you know. And you know that it's going to be good for you to find yourself without him, find out who you are outside of Jason and the Titans. It's for the best and you know. But, you also know Jason and Jason Todd has always loved to avoid things that are good for him. Good to him. What if he avoids this forever and this is really it?

"I'm sorry." Jason says quietly.

"It's okay." You nod up at him. "You're, uh, you're right. You died."

As much as you saw it coming, you feel blindsided. You are not together. He is not breaking up with you because you did it first. But, it feels that way anyway. He is right. You need time and space to heal and deal with everything that's happened. Maybe you could do that together but maybe you need to figure out who you are now. You are not the same people you were before he died. Jason Todd died that day and so did you. You need to just exist without each other even if it is the most painful thing either of you will ever do.

Jason nods. "Yeah," He scoffs. "It's not fucking fair to you or me if we jump into this shit again."

You nod softly. "Yeah...you're right." You push off the wall, closing the distance between you. "For what it's worth, I'm still sorry for everything that's happened to you, Jay." You sniffle softly.

"Thanks. I'm sorry for everything that's happened to you, too." Jason lets out a soft sigh, looking to the floor before he looks back to you. He will find his way back to you because you're everything he's ever wanted and he wants to deserve you one day. "Friends?" He asks, sticking out his hand with the quick raise of his brows.

"For now." You take his hand in yours. "We'll find our way back." You say softly but with certainty.

"Hope so." Jason quips right back with a cheeky grin. "I'll miss you being up my ass all the time."

You roll your eyes as a smile starts to fade over your lips. "Shut the fuck up." You groan, making Jason chuckle softly. "You're my favorite person, ya know?"

"And you're mine." Jason says simply, without hesitance.

The room falls silent, the two of you still holding each other's hand right in the middle of you. It's as if you aren't sure how to backtrack. How do you go back to being friends? You were never meant to be friends. There was always something more there. Something strong and tender, throbbing and beating like a desperate heart pumping blood through an open artery. You have stained each other with every scar and crumb of yours. How do you take it back? How do you cleanse yourselves and try again? Can you even do it?

Jason's grip on your hand tightens and he doesn't want to leave it like that. As friends. The very idea is bitter and stale. He knows it's for the best. For the first time in his life, he is doing something to better himself and protect you. It's not just self-destruction this time. He wants to be better for himself. He never wants to get here again. And to do that, he needs to do it on his own. Jason won't risk dragging you down with him again as he drowns himself. He's not sure if he'll come out the other end alive this time, but he's willing to try for himself. And then for you. But, that doesn't make this whole thing easier. He still loves you. He still wants you.

You feel it, too. You know he wants to reach forward, pull you into him just for old times sake. You're going to defeat Crane tonight, one way or another, and then you'll go your separate ways for a little bit...as friends. But you think about the last time you had a proper kiss, before you knew you'd end up here. He was alive again. It was a kiss of relief. That's not how you want it to end. You fully believe you will come together again but what if you don't?

The idea makes your stomach twist into knots. And you know Jason isn't going to act on it, out of respect for you. It's the way his hand squeezes yours, the way he won't let go and how he has that dark but kind look in his eyes. The way he is intentionally holding his stance just enough away as if he'll walk into a bear trap with one step forward. He'll never act on it out of respect for your space so when Jason finally starts to move away, you pull him back.

Jason eyes you and then the very corner of your mouth twitches up as you squeeze his hand, pulling him just a little closer to you. You move your eyes up with the raise of your brows before looking back to him and then you shrug effortlessly.

Jason shakes his head. "Fuck it." Jason lets out in a single breath before dropping your hand and cupping your face, slamming his lips against yours.

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