#but also fr body hair makes my skin hurt

[yourheartinyourmouth]

they should invent a pill that makes all your body hair fall off

[anthotneystark]

Wanna change my clothes, my hair, my face

(Also on AO3 now!)

It doesn’t happen suddenly.

Or, it does, but it’s a long time coming.

It’s a long time coming because it’s been coming his whole life. It’s been coming since the first time someone looked at him and said “it’s a good thing you’re pretty”. It’s been coming since the first time he heard someone say “beauty over brains”. It’s been coming since he was old enough to know that his dad was already planning on having to make connections to get him into a school of his choosing. He’s always known his book smarts were lacking, but it always hurt when he was reminded of it.

But it’s been more recent than that too.

It’s been coming since he felt that slick tail wrap around his neck. It’s been coming since Robin helped to change the bandages on his back. It’s been coming since the first date after everything ended with him going to bed alone because “I’m just not in the mood anymore” followed him pulling off his shirt.

It’s been coming since forever.

His looks have been his biggest asset his entire life, the only thing he could really use to get attention. And now there’s scratches in the paint.

After everything, when they’re finally safe, everything changes.

He doesn’t change, or he doesn’t think he does, because his habits are the same and his thoughts are the same and his nightmares are the same. But life slows down. And with it slowing down, he changes anyway.

Where once he was all lean, taut muscle, he softens. It’s still there, his daily runs and exercise are proof of that, but it’s a little more insulated.

(Robin tells him it’s because he’s been living with the stress of monsters for years, that feeling safe has pushed his body out of survival mode.)

It’s been coming though. With each comment from his mother about how he’s clearly eating too much junk food. With his father’s comments about how long his hair has gotten. With how girls’ eyes just skim right over him and move on.

It’s not all bad, of course. The kids, surprisingly, don’t comment beyond their usual teasing over things within his control – “stripes again? Don’t you have any other patterns?” or “why do you have to wear those shorts while you’re cleaning the pool?” which is usually followed by Eddie smacking whoever said it. Max makes exactly one comment, quietly, when it’s just the two of them still awake during a movie night.

“You’re a better pillow these days.”

Maybe it’s a joke, maybe she’s just being nicer with her teasing, but whatever her reasoning he likes it. When he thinks about it like that, being different doesn’t feel like a bad thing.

It doesn’t usually last long though.

So it’s not a sudden thing, until it is.

He’s not even totally sure what causes it. Some comment, sure, but the words themselves are in one ear and out the other. His parents are leaving for another trip, his mother comments about eating healthier while they’re gone, his father makes some dig that’ll lodge under his skin with all the other barbs he’s thrown at him for all these years.

All he really remembers is that a comment is made. The rush of heat and sour bile in his throat. The door shuts and all he can hear are overlapping echoes of all the comments that have ever been thrown at him. All he can feel is the tightness of the tee shirt he’s wearing the weight that no longer rests on his shoulders, but which is spread over his entire body. He finds himself looking into a mirror and suddenly cannot look at that any longer.

His hands shake and he doesn’t trust himself, but he knows where he can go.

It should scare him that he doesn’t remember the drive. It should scare him that he’s here but doesn’t fully know how he got here. But he doesn’t have room for more panic in his head. They’re past the point of knocking, of waiting to be let in, so pushing through the doorway of the trailer is a familiar motion. Eddie looking up and smiling where he’s strumming his guitar is a familiar sight.

The way his smile faulters and turns into a frown is less familiar.

“Stevie? What’s wrong?” He feels like he can’t breath, can’t possibly explain everything in his head, but he can’t just expect Eddie to read his mind. He’s not Robin after all.

“I need it gone. Off. I can’t…I can’t,” he manages, one shaking hand sliding into his hair and tugging, the pain grounding for just a moment. Eddie might not be able to read his mind, but he understands him these days more than most people. It’s an unlikely friendship founded in terror and fortified by countless hours in hospital rooms and new homes.

“Oh sweetheart. Are you sure?” He knows it’s extreme, but he can’t help what he needs, even if Eddie is concerned. He nods, swallowing hard. Eddie doesn’t try to talk him out of it, just pulls him to the bathroom and sits him on the edge of the tub.

“Lets start small, okay? And we can go as far as you need from there.” He wants to argue, but at the same time he knows it’s reasonable. And it’s Eddie. He trusts Eddie. He can’t make any words come out, but he manages a little nod. Eddie, doing what he does best, just starts talking. He’s not really paying attention to the words, but he doesn’t have to. He can feel the chill of the metal scissors, the soft rumble of Eddie’s voice, the too gentle fingers pushing and pulling him into whatever position is best. Eddie pauses now and again, a question in his eyes, but continues on when he sees whatever he’s looking for still lingering.

It's not until Steve feels his shoulders slumping, his hands loosening where they’re clenched at his knees, the chill of the breeze from the open window hitting skin that no longer feels boiling hot, that Eddie sets down the scissors. He feels lighter, doesn’t even care about the itchy feeling of stray hairs clinging to his clothes and skin.

When he finally looks in the mirror, his hair is shorter than it’s been in years. It’s not gone, not buzzed off, but it’s not the same as it was.

Neither is he though.

Eddie’s giving him a knowing look, one that says he’s got something to say but is holding off.

The cut itself is a little rough, but in a good way. It’s clearly not a professional sort of thing; he likes it more because of it.

“Thank you,” he whispers, exhaustion and relief hitting him in equal measures.

“You know, when I buzzed my hair, there were a lot of rumors,” Eddie says softly. “Stuff about my dad punishing me, about looking too girly before, that sort of thing. But really, it was just…so much going on all at once. My dad had just gotten arrested, mom took off, Uncle Wayne was stressed over having another mouth to feed. I felt like I couldn’t breath and just-” he makes a buzzing noise and mimes shaving through the mop of dark hair, which he’s got tied back today now that Steve can actually see it.

“Just had to get it off?” he asks.

“Yep. Needed it gone. Growing it back was a pain, but it was good too. Felt like a fresh start even if it was a little like trying to get back to where I used to be,” Eddie explains. It makes sense, at least to Steve. “So, you know, I get it. But I also know you’d have another breakdown if we shaved it all off completely,” he jokes. It’s enough to drag a laugh out of him.

It’s very Eddie, baring his soul while he’s helping to bandage a lost sheep, and Steve wishes he had the words to say how grateful he is. Instead, he just takes the towel Eddie throws at him and the soft, well worn clothes Eddie sets on the counter. He showers, pulls on a shirt for a band he doesn’t recognize, and breathes out a sigh of relief when the vice around his body finally, finally, comes loose.

Eddie doesn’t wait long once he sits down on the couch, immediately flopping back to use his thighs as a pillow while he goes back to strumming along to the music in his head. It’s a quiet moment, a safe moment. He doesn’t even notice as his head drops back to rest on the cushions, his breathing slowing as he finally feels light enough to rest.

Later, he’ll wake up with their positions reversed, with Eddie playing with his hair in a way that’ll make his brain turn into mush. Later, he’ll gather the courage to finally stop toeing that line of friendship and more that he and Eddie have been dancing on for so long now. Later, Eddie will hear everything that’s been in his head and will hold him down while he kisses every last insecurity and promises that it’s only made him more obsessed with him.

Maybe that won’t fix the insecurities, but that doesn’t mean Eddie isn’t going to make it very clear just how happy he is loving Steve exactly as he is at every point in time.

Because it doesn’t happen suddenly.

Or, it does, but it’s a long time coming.

[yourheart-inmyhands]

My brain is acting up again 😭

Yan! Diluc, Zhongli (I swear I love this man) and Dottore having a conversation with their darling and out of nowhere they spill facts about how to hide a body or make it decompose faster.

If they ask how they know they just chuckle and continue their conversation.

They got it from Reddit fr 💀

- Weird anon ✨

ah i am also obsessed with death and decomposition, with a good mix of anatomy, though i try to avoid just finding random facts, i buy textbooks and research books about the topics to further my knowledge on the subjects :3c

Warning: this post contains yandere-themes, including obsessive behaviors, mentions of violence, lots of talk about death and facts about death, creepy behavior, as well as other potential topics. Please read at your own risk!

Diluc:

He finds it amusing at first, not really commenting on it and simply letting it be. Soon enough though he starts sharing facts of his own, making minor corrections or suggestions to the ones you bring up. Sometimes he even adds on to what you already have, changing the course of the conversation momentarily.

It’s not talked about often but Diluc is no longer allowed in Snezhnaya for a reason, he’s seen more than his fair share of bloodshed and has no problem offering you better suggestions than what you previously thought to be best. 

He makes a little game out of it, even going as far as to offer to test your claims. Diluc doesn’t see the harm in it, if anything he’s merely indulging in your interests, bonding with you over it. Strange as it is, he thinks it’s fun.

“Did you know the main reason why corpses smell so bad is because when people die, their bladder empties out?” Diluc chuckles at your question, the conversation shifting from possible dinner options to that of death was nothing new to him, yet it never failed to amuse him. “I did. Did you know it’s because when you die every muscle in your body relaxes, which means anything in your bowels is emptied out, no longer held back?” A bit of a tangent never hurts, especially not when it comes to a topic you seem so sporadically fascinated with. Diluc could sit here and watch you talk about this endlessly, the way your face suddenly lights up as you blurt out a random, off-topic fact. It was like seeing a kid walk into a candy store.

Zhongli:

Zhongli takes it a bit too seriously, often correcting you on common misconceptions or myths. He’s still lighthearted about it, but he doesn’t want his beloved darling to be in the wrong about this kind of thing.

He’d hate to see your spirit crushed by someone else, their offense to the sudden topic change springing up as a rebuttal. He’s simply protecting you this way, making sure that no one can challenge anything you say.

All his knowledge doesn’t come from nowhere though, so do keep that in mind should you ever try to challenge him on anything. Not only has he lived far longer than you, but he and his spear have seen, and done, many things

“Zhongli! Did you know that after death, your hair and fingers still grow for a short period of time?” Pausing mid-explanation, Zhongli processes what you said before smiling fondly at you. “No, my gem, they do not. It is actually the skin shrinking back from loss of moisture. That movement of the skin gives the appearance of the nails and hair growing.” Zhongli doesn’t falter even the slightest in his correction, merely stating it as if it were common knowledge, which it ought to be. This is a fairly common occurrence, with your little interruptions being met with either encouragement from Zhongli, or simply corrections.

Dottore:

He’s probably the worst to bring this up around as he likes to make a competition out of it, going back and forth about gruesome facts until one or the other caves.

Not only has Dottore learned a lot about death, but he’s been responsible for just as many. His knowledge far extends past the random facts you collect.

It’s not surprising that Dottore knows more than you, he never holds it against you though. Every time he wins a little bit of the banter between the two of you he sees it as a win for both of you. You get more facts and he gets to assert his position of higher power over you.

“Rigor mortis occurs 6-12 hours after a death but can last 18-36 hours before the body returns to being soft and floppy.” Dottore doesn’t even falter as you shift the conversation, easily following your lead. “Suffocation is more than just a painful way to die. Oftentimes victims of suffocations will try to free or save themselves to no avail as their limbs will cease function, this is because their brain is trying to preserve oxygen which leads to them being unable to free themself and dying.” The smile on his face is only a few inches wider than normal, his eyes twinkling with the same challenging shine that always comes through when you bring up death. If you weren’t well aware of his affections for you, you’d almost believe he loved talking about death more than he loved you.

[sheeluvsme]

Let’s talk about how price is literally husband material …

CAPTAIN JOHN PRICE HEAD CANNONS 🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏻‍♀️🙋🏻‍♀️ I love this man sm …. I normally hate facial hair on a guy BUT GOD DAYM COD MEN PULL THAT SHIT OFF..

Mix of sfw and nsfw blurbs bc I’m a silly guy. I really enjoy writing this shit bc I literally will be kicking my feet twirling my hair .. ( warning fem body parts used!) as I write this shit LMAOO enjoy!!! Ps. Not proof read..I wrote this at like 4 in the morning

He literally is so good to you , you can’t even be like mad at him over ANYTHING.

There was a time he accidentally dropped his cigar and it caught the bare skin of your leg AND HE FELT SO BADDDDD

He literally can not stand the thought of you being hurt..

He DEF SENDS CARE PACKAGES WHEN HES OUT FOR MONTHS AT A TIME

Being gone for so long he always takes a shirt of yours DRENCHED in your most used perfume so when he sleeps he can trick his brain into thinking your there.

He would be a king of taking care of your son your period!!!

Your sitting there curled up trying to not wake him up but you are just in so much pain :// and his ass senses it through his slumber?:!:?:?

“ you alright love?” He mutters into your shoulder. GOD HIS MORNING VOICE IS HOT. He woke up from feeling you tense up and sigh and whine quietly from the pain. “ yeah. Just my period.” You mumble into your pillow. He carefully pulls his arm around you , “ where” he asks. “ what-?” You ask confused. “ where is it cramping now love? I’ll massage it for you.” He whispered. You can’t help but swoon because you got the best husband in the WORLD “it’s my stomach right now-“ and immediately he takes his hand rubbing your stomach. The pain is suddenly being soothed and you can finally un-tense. “ theree you go love. I got you.” He kisses your shoulder softly. “ I’ll stay like this for a bit and then ill grab your heating blanket and a cup of tea hm? “ you feel him smile against your shoulder.

He’s very caring towards you but let’s not forget how you treat him like royalty fr

He always comes back with SOMETHING wrong with his back , and he whines about it to you every time so you’ll massage his back for him. He always wins you over.

He thinks he’s def undeserving  of you, your so sweet to him! He’s not used to women liking him just because you love him as a person himself. He’s had past girlfriends that just liked him for money benefits. Not you though, you literally freak out when he spends WAY too much on you “ John price!?— how much was this necklace??” And he always smiles and says “ don’t worry about it. “ he has learned lots of money saving tricks from you , he calls you a penny pincher LMAOO, he thinks it’s cute though you worry about him spending to much money like he doesn’t got enough.

He absolutely adores when you wear his hat , he thinks your the cutest thing on planet earth but dear god he’d never let you near any of the shit he does😭

You get along with 141 pretty well and it makes price really happy.

You’ve all been to the bar numerous of times and he likes watching you and soap bicker about stupid shit “ you..you eat lamb stomach?” “ ITS CALLED HAGGIS AND ITS GOOD!!”

Ghost and price giggling in the background.

They know how much you mean to there captain so they also would do anything to protect you

Your at a bar with them and some guy try’s talking to you and grabs your shoulder THEN HE JUST SEES A BUNCH OF TALL ASS GUYS GLARING HIM DOWN LMAOO let’s hope Buddy wore brown pants 🙏🏻

NSFW !!

Price lovesssssss eating you out , LITERALLY ANYWHERE IN YOUR FUCKING HOUSE. Especially if you had a shitty day at work , your in the shower trying to rinse off the day and suddenly you feel your not alone anymore..

Manz lifts you up on HIS SHOULDERS SO HE CAN EAT YOU OUT

He’s more dominant but he doesn’t mind you taking lead AT ALL

Man goes insane when you ride him

He can’t sleep , but you know he needs to. He hasn’t been sleeping much sense his last mission, he’s clearly stressed. Your hugging him..hugging turns to kissing. Kissing turns to groping, and then it turns to you ontop of him grinding against his bulge. “ fuck..let me take care of you, yeah?” You simply shake your head “ no captain. It’s time I take care of you.” He can’t deny your request when you look heavenly ontop of him. Helping each other slip off each other’s clothes, he loves looking at your tits , he finds how they feel so nice in his hands. He can’t help but grunt when you sit down on him and slowly begin to move your hips. His hands are gripped TIGHTLY against your hips. He can’t stop himself from using his hands to help move you and fuck you , he wants to be able to hit the deepest parts of you because honestly he fantasizes about getting your pregnant. He loves shooting a full load in you and praying you get pregnant, be there to take care of you , and most Importantly get to see a little baby made by you and him!!! Makes him go nuts , that’s why you and him fuck way too much around your cycle.

He is BIG into photos and videos of you.

He records videos of him fucking you and then watch them while he’s away, or he’ll take pictures to look at when he feels lonely on a trip!!!

He keeps a nude picture of you in his wallet ;)) soap was traumatized when price asked him to get something out his wallet and he found something HE DID NOT WANT TO SEE , soap has you and him down in his phone as ‘mom’ and ‘dad’ seeing that was horrific for him 😭😭

Thank you for reading <33 commissions open!!!

[burnyouwithacigarettelighter]

sugar daddy cillian or robert fischer pls i beggg !!

THIS IS SO!!! had me sweatin writing this fr… also this got rly long by accident and i kinda underutilized the sugar daddy part, i apologize😓

warnings. daddy kink, anal sex, mildly dd/lg, au!cillian (divorced, again not to be disrespectful it’s just to be convenient)

“D’you like it?” Cillian asked, sneaking up behind you in front of the mirror and wrapping his arms around your waist. 

You giggled, “You know I like anything you pick out for me, daddy.” He’d bought an expensive pink silky lingerie set for you, skimpy and revealing but with soft cream ruffles and strategically placed bows that made you look like a little angel — his little angel, he’d so often remind you — and you tried it on for him as soon as you got home.

He chuckled deeply, pressing kisses into the crook of your neck, “I know, I know… you’re a good girl like that, aren’t you? Always wantin’ t’please.”

You grinned sweetly, tilting your head to the side to allow further access to your neck as Cillian’s kissing and nipping grew rougher. “Only ‘cause you spoil me so much.”

Cillian’s grip tightened around you, making the seam of your ass press flush against his clothed cock, which you vaguely felt hardened and pulse at the feeling of your sweet ass. “Gotta spoil m’girl, don’t I? What kinda daddy would I be if I didn’t…” he hummed, trailing off as his hands seemed to form a consciousness of their own, sneaking into the waistband of your new panties. 

His fingers seemed to graze everywhere but where you needed him most, kneading at the flesh of your ass, imprinting his fingernail marks into the skin of your hips— even fucking petting your mound, but not at all going lower. 

“Please, daddy?” you begged with a whimper, your thighs clenching on instinct. 

“I’ll only touch your other hole, angel. You’re not on anythin’ right now.” He chastised, pulling away from you completely and sitting on the edge of your bed.

“We could use a condom,” you insisted weakly, despite knowing his answer anyway. 

“No,” Cillian shook his head, “you know daddy’ll only come raw.”

You pouted, taking gentle steps and sitting on your plush mattress beside him. Here was the crux of the matter: you ran out of your birth control a few weeks ago and couldn’t get your doctor to prescribe it again — y’know, just tedious medical bullshit — and with Cillian’s existing children, the divorce, your paid arrangement… let’s just say, it’d be the terrible cherry on top if he got you knocked up. 

You hadn’t had his cock in you at all, and since running out of your pills it’d just been other stuff, like head or fingering or very, very rough nipple play— all good stuff, just not enough stuff. You wanted him to fill you up, stuff your cunt to the brim with his thick length, but he refused. 

He did, however, offer up the alternative: anal, to which you shook your head and shuddered— you’d never done it before, and if your friends' experiences were anything to go by, you didn’t want to. They always said it was too harsh, that it hurt and he’d stretch your hole too painfully, that you wouldn’t be able to sit properly for days after.

But by now… you were going stir fucking crazy. It felt like one long game of edging, ‘cept there wasn’t going to be an end ‘till you got back on birth control, which could be in months from now. You missed his delicious cock so much, the sweet curve that tickled your cervix just right, the veins that rubbed your walls like he’d stuck his tongue right in you…

You bit your lip, peering into his soft blue eyes, before sighing. “Okay… you can - put it in my other hole,” you whispered nervously, tucking your hair behind your ear. 

You didn’t miss the way Cillian brightened, how his body relaxed with relief at your long-awaited agreement. “Good girl,” he praised, pushing you onto your stomach lightly, petting your hair out of your face. 

He then dragged your panties down slowly, hands splaying across your ass cheeks and humming satisfactorily at the wetness your cunt had been collecting. You were sopping, your sweet liquid smearing against your lips and dirtying your soft, supple thighs. 

You flushed at his intense staring, pressing your face deeper into your baby pink sheets, feeling every bit the little girl Cillian told you you were, getting ready to be fucked in the ass in your overtly feminine bedroom. You heard him fumble with his jeans, before letting out a sharp gasp when two of his fingers dipped into your cunt, swirling around your hole for a pleasure-filled moment and then coating your puckered asshole with the juice. 

“Don’t be scared, my sweet girl,” he soothed softly, lightly toying with the rim of your hole, a finger or two able to comfortably press in. “I’ll be gentle.”

Then, Cillian lined up his thick head with your hole, inhaling sharply as he pushed in. A pained whimper left your throat at the painful stretch, and he cooed, lightly spitting onto your ass to moisten the area up more. “So fuckin’ tight,” he groaned jiltedly, unable to keep in his audible pleasure despite the way you writhed. 

You breathed in and out shakily, incredibly glad that Cillian had stopped for a moment to let your tense hole readjust to his thickness. You could see clearly how your friends’ protests were based in fact — but you could also feel that familiar heat building into your stomach, the insatiable little monster in you acting up ‘cause Cillian had you wrenched on his cock. 

“Can I move?” He asked breathlessly a short bit later, cock swelling when your hole clenched at his words. 

“Ah… uh-huh,” you responded weakly, spreading your legs more, as if it would help lessen the sting. It didn’t do much, other than spur Cillian’s hungry appetite more, but the effort was appreciated at least mentally. 

“Fuck,” he cursed when he pulled out then slid back in, a measly few seconds interval between the two actions. It was so quick it made your head spin and your insides burn, but he noticed this rather quickly and massaged your hips with his fingers gently. 

“I’m sorry, angel,” he apologized, “just need y’so bad. Haven’t had you in so long.”

You blinked blearily, shaking your head. “N-no, don’t be… I’ll… I’ll be a better angel for daddy.”

He smiled, pressing a wet kiss to your ass cheek, “Thank you, my sweet.” Then, he pulled out again - slower, thankfully - and then pressed back in. He gathered a good pace: not too fast, not too slow, and the pain that you’d felt taking you over scarily dripped away into a pleasure you’d never felt before. 

His cock just felt so much bigger in your ass, and it was already plenty for your cunt. “God, I love your little holes,” he wheezed out, and your back arched, your first moan slipping out of you that night. 

Cillian grinned. “Such cute noises, all for this cock in your tight ass.”

You opened your mouth to respond, but were cut off by your second sound: a wet mewl as his balls brushed past your puffy clit. Your head was swimming with these stranger sensations swirling all over your body, the weird, out of place knot stirring in your lower stomach from anal. 

“Oh, baby, you’re so good for me,” Cillian praised, seemingly out of nowhere, but you didn’t have time to be confused when his thrusts got harder, a modicum of the pain you’d felt earlier returning as he forced his cock deeper within your ass. 

You’d realize a little later what he meant, why he fucked you rougher so suddenly: your walls finally relaxed sround his length, pulsing every so often and feeling like it wanted him to have his way with you. 

“Big,” you squeaked out, squirming and gripping your mattress for dear life. He rutted into you carnally, your ass bouncing with every needy push, jaw falling slack when the pads of his fingers cheekily found your clit, rubbing and pressing on it. 

Your sticky, filthy orgasm was sneaky, hiding behind his groans or your shallow intakes of breath, and came out to surprise you when Cillian’s hips jutted right against yours, his cock deeper than he’d ever been in your cunt. Your cunt clenched around nothing, creaming on his balls as you choked out his name, eyes rolling to the back of your head. 

“You came on my cock in your ass,” he said, amazed and a hundred percent more turned on, sliding in and out of you hurriedly like if he didn’t climax as quickly as you you’d change your mind about anal and leave him in the dust.

 After another loud moment of fucking, skin slapping on clammy skin, breathy whines falling from your lips, desperate growls out of his, you felt the familiar rush of warmth fill you — in your ass, this time, which was similar and completely different all at once. Like, you certainly felt full, but his load didn’t easily drip out of you like it would’ve in your cunt. 

Cillian released a satisfied sigh, leading his softening cock out of your stretched out asshole delicately, telling you to breathe when his head had to exit and reawaken the terrible initial stretch. 

You were face down into the mattress, ass up in the air directly in Cillian’s eye line, knees pried open, back arched— you were utterly, completely wrecked, fucked out beyond belief at the strange combination of pain and pleasure. Cillian leaned down slightly to suckle on your sensitive clit, the torturing tease, before leaning back slightly and frowning, because his come still didn’t spill out of your tight hole. 

“Push f’me, my sweet girl, let daddy see himself drip out’a you,” he ordered huskily, spreading your ass cheeks wide with his large hands. 

You pushed once, and sighed tiredly, feeling his come slowly slide out of your spent hole. It was wet, warm, and thick, coating your cunt’s outer lips lightly.

“That’s a good girl,” he patted the small of your back sweetly, then turned you over to your side to face him. “Now, baby, because you’ve been so good, what do you say about going to Paris? We’ll get those pretty red-bottoms for you, and the sweet Chanel dress too…”

[anonymouscheeses]

Frame redrawn! Or whatever it's called 😭

First my wifeee 💜💜 she's so bigger body coded it's not funny grr lmao idk uhh her eye is pinker and obviously the ears, well, exist. Also eyepatch cuz... eyepatch. Yeah. She's my wife u guys... so real so fr fr 🗣🔥

Made him actually black 💀 I'm sorry it felt sooo wrong to give him his canon skin tone it disturbs me.... he has a tie cuz he would wear tie over bow I jst know it. Snout! Cuz deer. I'll probably change his ear placement like, give back his top ears and give him human ones buttt not sure... I hate drawing his hair it's so goofy brutha eugh

LOTTERALY ME U GUYS RARARAHAHEIIREM8S UHHHH idk why I gave her pure black pupils but like I will. Forever. I gave her snout too but like. In a more. Snout way. Yknow??? She's so goofy I love her smm we are the sam.e red cheek thinfs r pink now cuz I think it looks better idk. Goat ears. Cuz goat ears. She's so goat coded it hurts. Just. JUST MAKE HER GOAT RAAHHH

[13as07]

Sweet Girl #3

(Shikaku Nara & Inoichi Yamanaka Smut)

[Artwork is not mine! Credit to 1ndi g0]

Requested by: The Pope

Word Count: 4,049

Warnings and/or Pre-Notes:

Threesome (duh)

Name Calling: Sweet Girl, Chief, Toy, Sweetheart, Commander, Good Girl, Leftovers

Like a 20 year age-gap (also, duh and for both parties)

Hickeys/Biting/Bite Marks

Hair-pulling

Fingering (Female Receiving)

Titty Playing

Choking

Orgasm Denial

Cum eating (but not really I guess??? Be warned or whatever lmao)

Daddy Issues (obviously, it's the underlining cause of wanting older men)

Exhibitionism

Humiliation (Semi, like super small amount)

———————————————————————

I'm hoisted up, settled on my knees on Shikaku's desk before he repositions me. I'm shifted around, legs dangling over the edge of the desk with my back facing the Commander. He hums softly in my ear, cooing at me as his hands grope at my breasts and his heartbeat thumps against my spine. "You're going to be great. You're perfect, Sweet Girl."

Inoichi looks like he's going to vibrate out of his skin as he walks back toward the desk, eyes locked on me and chest pumping like crazy. The closer he gets, the further down Shikaku's hands fall. By the time Inoichi is a step or two away from me, his friend is gripping my thighs, tugging them apart. "Hello," Inoichi says, cooing at me like I'm a rabbit that's going to dash at the sign of trouble.

     "Hello," I say back, tilting my head back so I can look up at him. "Are you going to stand there and watch Shikaku feel me up or are you going to touch me too, Chief?" My eyes flutter down for a second, taking a peak at his growing hard-on before resting on his face.

     The Chief's face flashes for a second before he moves forward, sliding between my parted legs. I close them around him, his hip bones digging into the flesh of my thighs as I keep him in place.

     What the hell am I doing? I'm about to have a threesome, that's what I'm doing. I'm going to get poked and prodded at by the Nara Chief, again, and the Yamanaka Chief. How'd I end up here?

     Shikaku's lips brush down my back, trialing soft kisses down my spine as his hands crawl up my sides. "You look so pretty," he whispers into my skin, using his thumbs to rub circles against my rib cage. "Don't you think she looks pretty, Ino?"

     "Uh... ya," Inoichi mumbles, his eyes trailing across the curves and dips of my body now. His sights land on my chest where small blotches of pink and purple are decorating my skin because of the events of the week. "You leave hickeys like an amateur," he mutters to his friend, hands slowly moving forward to cup my breasts.

     His eyes jump up, the analysis, well, analyzing how I react to his touches. Inoichi's hands start gentle, groping at my boobs, gently squeezing them as his fingers dip into my skin. Soon, his hands aren't so gentle anymore. "H... hey," I whine, tugging a soft smile on the Chief's face as pinches my nipples. I swear, what is with these men and pinching me?

     "You're so soft," Inoichi praises, his head dipping toward me. His lips brush against mine in a testing kiss before clashing against me. When he twists my nipples, I let out an audible whine, the sound getting trapped in his mouth. "And so responsive," he continues to coo, pulling away and twisting again.

     "Don't do that. You're going to hurt her," Shikaku grumbles, sliding his hands under his friend's, effectively shoving Inoichi's hold off of my chest. "I didn't invite you to join so you could break my toy," he adds, his hands softly massaging my aching nipples.

     Chief rolls his eyes at his friend before his focus settles on me again. "Since Shika wants to baby you, let's try something else, okay Sweetheart?"

     "I'm not babying her," the Commander grumbles again, his kisses slowly making their way across my shoulders, beelining for my neck.

     Inoichi ignores his lifelong friend, rolling his eyes at him as he undoes his pants. Once he's free from his pants, the Chief rests his dick against my thigh, heat rolling off of him and warming up the spot he's softly grinding against.

     One of his hands clumsy finds my hair, balling it up in his grasp before tugging my head backward. That gets him another lecture about being gentle that he once again ignores. "I want your eyes to stay on me alright? Do you think you can do that?" He asks, his fingertips ghosting over my core, making my pussy ache for attention.

     "Yes Chief," I answer, shifting my hips forward in hopes of getting some of the attention I'm craving. I get what I want, two fingers dipped into me. My mouth falls open a bit and my eyes widen from the touch, a silent moan testing my lungs.

"Dear Lord," he mutters, eyes fluttering around my face as he sets a slow pace.

"I told you she was pretty," Shikaku peeps up, his hand falling to my pussy too, fingertips rubbing against my clit. His free hand jumps up, clinging to my throat and giving it a soft squeeze before climbing up to my face and cupping my cheeks. "Wider, Sweet Girl. Show Inoichi that sweet face you make when you want to suck my dick."

I do as I'm told, opening my mouth and letting my tongue slide out. Inoichi lets out a hissy breath, his fingers picking up their pace. His head dips down for a second, lips brushing against my ear as he talks. "Your face would be even prettier covered in my cum, do you know that?"

"Yes, Chief Yamanaka," I murmur, my mind going numb from the two men helping my orgasm build.

My answer gets me an approving hum. "Let's test our Shikaku's toy," he mumbles, curling his fingers a few times before pulling them out of me. Inoichi's fingers are shoved into my mouth, thrusting in and out of my mouth. "Be a 'sweet girl' and suck yourself off my fingers," he orders, mocking Shikaku's nickname for me. Again, I do as I'm told, sucking my juices of his fingers as my tongue rubs against them.

The Commander replaces his friend, three of his fingers thrusting into me as his thumb continues toying with my clit. I moan around Inoichi, my thighs pressed against him harder as my orgasm threatens to tip over. "No, you don't get to finish," he tells me, ripping his fingers out of my mouth before tugging Shikaku's touch from my pussy.

"Hey!" I pout, my hands shooting forward to grip his shirt. "That's not fair. You're being mean."

"I'm not being mean. I'm just not spoiling you as Shikaku does. You'll survive," he tells me, the hand in my hair going gentle and massaging my scalp. The hand not in my hair grips his dick, lining it up to me. Inoichi tests the waters, poking his tip in and out of me two or three times. His hand tightens in my hair again as he pushes himself in me, slowly inching until the whole of him is stretching me out. "Be a good toy and watch," he orders, using his grip on my hair to move my sight down to our connection.

As Inoichi fucks me, Shikaku goes back to playing with my tits. He tugs on my nipples, making them ache before he lets go of them, so they bounce in the way he likes. He praises me too, like I've grown used to over the past couple of days. "You're doing so good, Sweet Girl. Look at you, taking Inoichi so well. I'm so proud of you! You're doing amazing. Do you hear me? Are you paying attention?"

"Yes... yes, Commander," I stumble out, my focus on his friend repeatedly disappearing into me.

The sight makes me clench, getting another hissed breath from Inoichi. "Damn it, if you keep doing that I'm... damn it, toy," he groans, snapping my head back up as his body weight leans against me, and in turn, I lean into Shikaku.

Inoichi's head hurries into my neck, his teeth sinking into my skin into my throat. "That hurts," I whine, my hands climbing up his shirt to grab hold of his long blonde hair. I pull on the strands, trying to get him to detach as the pain of his bite blossoms faster. "Chief Yamanaka. Let go," I continue to whine, tugging on his ponytail again as tears prickle my eyes.

He huffs but does release my skin from between his teeth. "You've turned her into a crybaby," Inoichi grumbles, causing a smile to form in Shikaku's kisses.

"Well, ya. I like it when she cries."

"Pervert," the Chief mumbles, kisses coating the bite mark I'm sure is present on my neck. "Are you on birth control, toy?"

"Yes, Chief," I mumble, loosening my hold on his hair but not letting it go.

     "That's a good girl. Good girl," he coos, his thrusts getting sloppy, quickly followed by the warmth of his cum filling me. Despite Inoichi finishing, he keeps pumping into me, shoving his semen deeper into me for another couple of thrusts. "Good... good girl," he mumbles again, resting against me, his soaked cock pressed into my thigh again, coating my skin with our mixed mess.

      "Good job. You did such a good job. You're so sweet," Shikaku coos, not-so-secretly trying to shove his friend off of me. Someone is impatient for their turn. "Are you going to be sweet for me too? I bet you are, I know you are," he continues, getting an eye roll from Inoichi.

     Hands from both of the men wander over me, groping at my chest, my legs, my hair, and my neck, as they switch places. Inoichi settles in the desk chair, a hand massaging my waist as the other leans my head back. "Keep your eyes on me again, okay?"

     "Yes, Chief." I think Inoichi likes being the center of attention.

     Shikaku settles on his knees, arms tucked under my legs as he litters my legs in kisses. "You're going to make her rotten if you keep spoiling her," Inoichi tells him, tugging me backward a bit.

     "So? You think she's too young for me, so what do you care?" Shikaku bites back, pulling me forward before dipping his head, set on going down on me despite his friend's mess still very present on and in me.

"Well, I can't bitch at you about it anymore," Inoichi grumbles, sinking his teeth into me again. This time he focuses on littering my shoulders with bite marks instead of my shoulder.

Shikaku starts on my thigh, licking up the mess left behind by the Yamanaka Chief before he switches to my pussy. "You'd taste a lot better with my cum leaking out of you," he mumbles, sliding his tongue through my folds before dipping into my hole. He laps at me, cleaning me out and occasionally teasing my clit.

"Commander," I whine, sliding my hands through the neatly laid out roots of his hair before colliding with his ponytail.

He hums in acknowledgment, eyes glancing up as he laps at me again, a long slow line being pressed into my pussy. "Commander," I call again, my orgasm building up.

Shikaku chuckles, pulling away from me and letting my orgasm clash away, not in a good way for once. "You heard Inoichi. You don't get to finish," he chuckles, plopping a kiss on my clit before softly sucking on it. "If you want to finish you have to wait for him to tell you so."

I pout as Shikaku climbs to his feet, the two older men chuckling as I squirm around. "I got to get going, I told Ino I'd met her for dinner," Inoichi murmurs, gripping my chest roughly as his fingers dig into my skin, threatening to decorate them with more bruises. "I'll see you guys tomorrow."

                        ———————————

     I almost skip down the street in excitement, Shikaku and Inoichi in tow behind me. If I've learned one thing through messing with an older man, more so a chief, it's that he has deep pockets and an inability to tell me no. Hence, the sulky man and his retriever friend following me down the road to the bar.

     They insisted on inviting Choza. Probably not the best idea to invite my chief but he is their friend, so it is what it is. Plus, it means I had the opening to invite Shino to come drink too. Aside from Naruto, Shino is one of my closest friends, and unlike Naruto, he can handle his alcohol relatively well.

     My closeness to the polar opposites is also why they were brought up in my fight with Shikamaru. He always insisted that something must be going on between one of them and me. Talk about a guilty conscience, huh?

     "Shino!" I cheer when the moody shinobi falls into view. "Shino! Shino! Shino!" I continue, slamming him into a hug, a hmph coming from the man when his back collided with the wall.

     "Hello," he murmurs, hands tight around my forearms and pushing me backward. "You are rather cheery. If I had to guess, the reason being your habit of 'pre-gaming', yes?"

     "How'd you guess?" I ask, eyes flickering back to check Shikaku's and Inoichi's placement. I'm pleasantly surprised when they're right behind me.

     "Like I said, you're cheery. Plus you're wearing a skirt. You tend to need a little 'liquid courage' to feel confident enough to go out in one," Shino mumbles, one of his hands jumping up to shove his fingertips into the bite mark left behind by Inoichi yesterday. "I do not care about your... relations," he says, stressing the last word as his eyes flicker towards Shikaku. "But please respect yourself enough not to leave remedies of them behind. Just because your father was not appealing does not mean you're not appealing."

     "That was a very long way to say I have daddy issues," I tease, tugging away from Shino's touch in search of Shikaku's instead. I get what I want, an aware Commander sliding a hand around my hips and tugging me against him. "Shots, shots, sh-sh-sh-shots," I mutter to myself, letting Shikaku lead the small group of us four inside.

     The bar is buzzing with the usual Saturday night drinking feast. People dancing around, the overwhelming smell of liquor, and the even more overwhelming sound of loud music. Not really the drinking experience Shino and I go for most of the time. Oh well, it'll be a nice change of pace.

     The mane of red hair my chief has stands out in the crowd, making it easy to find him. Shikaku leads us that way, the two older men chatting with each other as Shino's head is spinning on over time. "I won't be staying long," he mutters, hand shooting forward to grip the collar of my shirt. Shikaku's eyes flicker to the side before he turns back to his conversation, fingertips dipping under my shirt to massage my hip bones.

     "You don't have to stay at all if you don't want to," I tell Shino, flipping my head backward to smile at him.

"Of course he does! What kind of party would it be without Shino?" Choji's voice rings out, his head out from around his father.

Chief Akimichi turns around, greeting his friends, and giving a view to the rest of the people present at the table. Sat at the table is his son, Choji. Along with Shikamaru and the blonde girl he's been seeing. Thank you, Lord, that Ino isn't here but screw you for making Shikamaru be here.

"Come sit down!" Choji calls, ushering Shino and me forward. Well, tonight is going to suck ass. Shikaku squeezes me a few times before letting me go. Reluctantly I move forward, Shino trailing behind me as I slide into a chair. "So..." Cho says, dragging out the word as he stirs whatever is in his cup. "You're fucking Shika's dad and he's fucking Temari. Are you going after all our dads? Are you going to fuck Inoichi next?"

Shino pushes an amused breath out of his nose as Choji chuckles at his joke. "I'm just kidding," He adds, courtesy of Shikamaru's glaring at him. "That would be crazy."

"Ya, so crazy," I mutter, a nervous laugh spilling out from me. Shikamaru shoots another glare, this time aimed at me followed by Shino glaring at the shadow boy.

My eyes jump around the group of people. A pissed-off Shikamaru, an overly amused with-the-situation Choji, an uncomfortable Temari, and an unamused Shino shooting me a look from across the table, great. Tonight is going to be amazing.

When my eyes settle on the group of older men, I calm down a bit. Inoichi is laughing his ass off as the chief is telling him something. Shikaku is nodding along to the conversation but his eyes are stuck on me. When our sights cross, he gives me a soft smile. Maybe tonight won't be so bad after all.

Once chief Akimichi finishes talking, the small group joins us at the table. The chief settles in the chair next to his son, the other two men sliding into place on either side of me, making my face heat up and my hormones churn as memories of yesterday filter in and out of my mind.

Inoichi's hand gripping my knee before crawling up my leg doesn't help any, nor does Shikaku's hand sliding under my shirt, trialing up and down my lower spine.

"Anyway kiddo," chief Akimichi starts, his focus on me. "Despite the... mess, I'm happy Shikamaru and you could both move on," he tells me, his usual big cheesy smile on his face.

Shikamaru rolls his eyes, dropping an arm around his girl and pulling her closer before whispering in her ear. Shino catches on right away, another pointed look shot at my ex before he turns towards me. "You want to do shots right?" He asks, a rare smile on his face as he looks at me.

"You know it! Why? Are you going to do one with me?"

"I'm going to get a plater for the table so I guess so."

I jump around in my chair, clapping my hands in excitement. "Yay! Shino is going to get lit with me!"

"No, I'm not, but I'll stay for a little longer than I planned to." I let out another round of excitement, getting a kiss pressed behind my ear by Shikaku, another rare smile from Shino, and a squeeze to my thigh by Inoichi.

                        ———————————

Shino waves once more from the door of the bar, I wave in return before he slips out of it, officially leaving me with the three chiefs. After a couple of drinks, Temari and Shikamaru left, not before he made it obvious what their home plans were; another flat attempt to piss me off. Choji left a little while after so he 'could be as fresh as a daisy for his date with Karui'.

     "Just another drink or two and then we can go home too, Sweet Girl," Shikaku tells me, his fingertips dipping down my back, sliding under the waistband of my skirt to play with the band of my panties. He toys with it for a while before tugging on it, inching it up to tighten it against my body.

     I space out, enjoying the feeling of Shikaku messing with me and the soft circles Inoichi rubs into my inner thigh, the conversation between the three chiefs going in one ear and out the other. When Shikaku is done messing with me, his hand falls to my thigh, moving it to spread my legs apart further.

     My eyes flicker up, settling in his face as I try to figure out what he's doing. His eyes shift down, looking back at me as he taps his fingers against my skin. Soon, Shikaku's head dips down too, being pressed to my ear. "One, make a single sound and I'll make you scream all night. Two, if you want to cum you still need to ask Inoichi for permission."

     "Commander," I whine softly, gripping his wrist as his hand slides off my leg, softly running across my panties, and quickly stirring up arousal. "Commander," I call a little louder, trying to shake his hand to get his attention. He ignores me, adding a bit of pressure to the circles he's drawing on my panties.

     I try closing my legs, squeezing his hand between my thighs. Shikaku's head snaps towards me, a warning look shoot my way. "Knock your shit off," he grumbles dipping his head down again, brushing a kiss to my lips before his focus shifts to my ear again. "I'm being nice by being discreet. I could not be discreet. I could walk us through the bar and drag you into the bathroom so everyone knows what's going on. I could fuck you in the alleyway like the leftovers my son seems to think you are. Or, you could be a Sweet Girl and leave your legs open."

     Slowly I let my legs fall open and Shikaku jumps right back in. His finger pokes at my whole, pushing my panties in a bit before he rubs at my clit again. "Shikaku," I hiss, biting back a moan.

     "Do you want me to let you guys go? It seems that my little clan mate is tired," chief Akimichi teases, chuckling at his joke.

     "No, she’s just being a drag right now," Shikaku grumbles, fingertips sliding over my panties, toying with me even more before two of his fingers dip into me. "She'll stop complaining in a couple of minutes. Just ignore her." Inoichi glances at him, Shikaku's eyes dropping down, followed by his friend's.

     A smug smile appears on Inoichi's face as he turns back towards the conversation. His fingers slide towards my cunt too, wasting no time sliding under my panties. It takes a moment but the men find their pace. Shikaku's fingers dip in, then pull out, my emptiness lasting less than a second before Inoichi's dip into me, then thrust out to repeat the cycle.

     My legs jerk around as my orgasm builds, my needs building even more as Shikaku starts rubbing my clit again. "Chief Yamanaka," I whine, my hands clinging to his arm, tugging him down so I can whisper in his ear. "Please? I want to cum."

     "No," he mutters, sitting up straight again.

     My nails dig into his arm, trying to tug him down again but this time I don't get what I want. "Inoichi," I hiss, my orgasm building up weaker than I can stop it. "Come on."

     They both ignore me, their focus fully on continuing their dumb conversation with chief Akimichi about the crop intake this year. I keep tugging in his arm, squirming and whiney between muffled moans and tongue bites to try and get his attention again. "Stop ignoring me!" I whisper angrily, hands jumping up to tug on his hair.

     Shikaku's free hand shoots forward, taking hold of my wrists and pressing them against my stomach. "Sweet Girl," he coos, back to whispering in my ear. "Try that shit again and I'll bend your ass over the table and beat it until it hurts to sit." The threat does it for me, my pussy clenching around the fingers he thrusted into on his turn. "What a drag," he mutters, tearing his fingers out of me.

     Inoichi looks a bit confused before he thrusts his fingers into me again. My disobedience is rewarded with a soft glare before he rubs his fingers through my folds, scooping up my mess. His fingers slide under my shirt, rubbing my mess into my stomach. When Shikaku catches on he does the same thing.

     Once my mess is finished being rubbed into my stomach, Inoichi stands up from his chair, followed by Shikaku standing and tugging me up with him. "Alright, we'll see you tomorrow," Inoichi says, goodbyes traded between all of us.

     Shikaku's hand falls to the waistband of my skirt again, toying with it as he leads me out of the bar. "Hey, toy," Inoichi mumbles, his hands grabbing my arms as we make our way through the crowded bar. "When we get back to the house, I'm going to punish you until you're crying for forgiveness," he whispers in my ear before letting me go. The thought makes me tingle, and the thought of me crying makes Shikaku's grip tighter. I’m sure his pants are just as tight thinning about my tearful babbling cries.

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[darksxder]

do something about it

pairing: fem! avatar reader x avatar jake sully

summary: jake heard you were a forward woman but you never seemed to pick up on his hints. so he decided to make it a little more obvious and pray to god you were as possessive as they said.

warnings: sexual tension like such a ridiculous amount, mentions of oral sex (f receiving), spit play and dom!reader x sub/switch!jake, jealousy, possessive behaviour, description of war and injuries, talk of paralysis

word count: 2k

a.n: my first post after a year would be a jake sully smut coded drabble. its very fitting fr. also requests are open!! please send one besties all my ideas are too long lmao

sdt: @tarrynightss , @sunnybeewriting & more for inspiring me to write for Avatar! Ya’ll are so talented it is scary fr!!! special mention:  @belle82devart for supporting me always :) ilysm words cannot explain!

Jake never thought he would beg to be on his knees for a woman.

There was something about being a marine that bolsters this macho bravado habit where you crave to see a woman bend to your will. Sure the military was not all about 40 degree folded corners and standing up straight around a superior. It was all about strength, dominance and discipline and with  how deep that was ingrained-that translated to the bedroom.

You could take someone out of the marines but they never leave the mindset.

There was always an urge to pleasure a woman with this dominance, the rough hands and firm thrusts of course, but always in the promise of reciprocated bliss.

This was not that.

The second Jake saw your avatar he was done for.

He would have begged on his knees to just see your pussy right then and there if Grace wasn’t there and if he had been robbed of what little self-restraint he still possessed. He swore he drooled the second you pranced out behind Grace that first day. Your hair swishing in tandem with your lean hips as you moved to greet him. The woven nature of your top of beads drawing his eyes down. The adrenaline was still so high. It was just minutes after waking up in a new body- a full body. After he ran out of the facility to the field and training areas, everything was a blur of green and blue.  

He still was revelling in feeling his legs again.

In running and the feeling of the wind whipping past him, the smell of the earth and the way he could scrunch his toes in it, even the feel of a nice deep stretch in his calves. It was magnificent, but the feeling of being given back function of his legs also gave way to new sensations he had missed. And when he saw you nearly march besides Grace, a smile on your face, and sweet welcomes in his ears he felt his hands shake. Your hair in intricate braids and expertly weaved into many waves that fell down your back with your one braid resting along your spine shone like ink in the sun. The light igniting your full figure, sweta glistening on your skin. Your eyes are as bright as your smile. He could smell the fruit Grace hurled at him, smell all of the plants and something sweet. He could hear everything, even if he was tuning you all out as he took in the feeling.  

The sweet scent cut through it all. It made his mouth salivate. He knew it was coming from you.

Grace had noticed his stare that day, and cornered him the next before a link.

“You don’t have much of a chance, marine.” He only scoffed, ignoring the sharp twist of hurt in his gut at her chastising expression as she sat on the edge of the link pod, leaning down.

“How would you know?” He said, shifting in the green gel of the bed on his elbows, face heating.

She only laughed, pushing off the case before shoving his right shoulder down hard, driving his body into the green glue like substance around him. Her crows feet deep as she gave him a mocking smile, eclipsing the light in the bio lab, face not too unkind.

“You would. She’s a very forward one. She makes the first move.”

It felt like more of an order than a bit of well meant advice. But he did not mind. And as the words met his human ears he felt them burn hot. His heart raced as the metal cage-like thing locked him in place.

It took him a full eight minutes for his heart rate to slow down to a normal pace, and for his mind to calm.

Truly it took him more than that. Maybe even 20 minutes before the images of you- shoving him on his knees, lips swollen and bitten, eyes glossy and scent sweet as you straddled him-meant to start rocking against his face left him.

Since then he made it his mission to get you to break.

He first tried jealousy as you trained together in the forest with the People. He flirted with Neytiri every chance he could get, her even playing along after some time but you never bite.

Next step was showing you an obvious submission. This plan took the form of him as he dropped to his knees to tie the harness around your thighs one rainy day before riding. A mumbled ‘let me help you’ was the only thing accompanying the action as his legs met damp earth and his big blue hands smoothed up the back of your thighs to reach the clasps. He had heard your breath hitching, and he had smirked. Smile facing the ground, almost wide enough to break his face. His nose tingled as he had smelled you, taking in a deep inhale as his fingers crept up your inner thighs. He felt a slight brush against his ears. Felt the flutter of the still wind as you moved your hand.

He wanted you to pull his hair. Grab a handful of his braids and yank him up to your level or throw him to the floor like he was nothing. He would be hard even just at the touch he knew,  even if it was a rejection. Because he was hard now.

But he saw you got it, saw you understood the meaning of the getsure as he leaned back on his haunches beneath you, head tilted up, hands and nose buzzing with the memory of you. It was the look you gave him as he looked up. A deep purple settling against the highest points of your cheeks, to the tips of your pointed ears, hair pulled back in a braid, wisps framing your lovely face. This would be it,  he thought. He twitched at the idea.

But your jaw only clenched, anger overtaking your expression for a second until it dimmed to neutral. Indifferent,  and his heart dropped to his ass.

“Nice try, Marine.”

And he stepped to his feet, wobbling just slightly. But you were already moving out of his space, hands wringing as he watched your figure fall away to the long lively plants and trees surrounding both of you.

Hours of training with you and Neytiri in the village turned into months of trying again in between skills acquisitions.

You never broke, not once.

He wouldn't have it.

If Jake Sully was anything, it was not a quitter.

Your first official hunt was the biggest thing in your pathway to joining the Omaticaya people and you were to be ready by midday. The early chirps of wildlife roused you early after linking,  as you stepped from the avatar sleeping station, seeing Jake’s bed was empty. He must have stayed in the villages. And he did, as you saw him when you met the outskirts of the village. In the clearing there was a large group of would-be hunters, all marking themselves up with war paint. Your heart leapt at the sight, chest bubbling the excitement of it all. You rushed over, loincloth tangling in between your legs with your haste as you saw the rainbow of crushed dyes and pastes around the middle, perched on a fallen tree. You went to search for your signature colour, the deep colour that matched your ikran’s most vital colourings. Only to find it gone, its usual spot empty.

Heart sinking, you turned at the sound of Neytiri's laugh. “What, I look funny?” Jake called, one hand stained rusty orange red. His colour.

And the other… oh my god-.

Neytiri met your eyes, smiling harder than you have ever seen before. She knew the meaning. He didn’t. He couldn't have. She wouldn't have told him.

He was- OH MY GOD.

You didn't even remember rushing to them, eyes only locked on his full figure. His abs rippling and muscles strained as he aimed to reach behind his back, which was turned to you. Neytiri said something to the others with a kind hand to his shoulder. What she said you were not sure but they all filled out pretty quickly after it, looks ranging from mischief to alarm.  

Your heart raced as you watched this man. This beautiful stupid man smears the colour all over his face. Something deep within your gut pulled you forward, swooping hard enough to shock you all at the sight. Your hands stretched out as his ears twitched, a smile still on his face as he turned to you. All confusion in his eyes at the lack of people until he registered it was you. The smile swapped for his signature irritating smirk.

“That’s my colour.”

“Yeah. Gonna do something about it?”

Your stomach flipped, dipping low. A huff of air-all that was left in your lungs mixed with a shocked noise fell from your parted lips.

He was still smirking and you slid up to stand taller, shoulders back and head tilting-calculating. Beads in your hair clinking whispers in your twitching ears. Revelling in the flicker of his tail behind him. The shift in his eyes, from cocky to nervous, unsure.

“Yes, I think I will.” And you were fully beside him, close enough to feel his heat.

He was so large. So broad, it startled you every time. Your hands grabbed the wooden bowl filled with the crushed-up herbs and berries of your signature colour. His face dropped, going to take a step back, to backtrack as if he had offended you. As if you had rejected him, his last advance.

But your hands just dipped into the cool slush, smoothing it out with the warmth of your body between fingertips and saddling up to him.

Eywa, he was perfect. Heart beating like a drum against your rib cage, your nose delighting in his signature musky warm scent-like pine and military grade soap.

You placed your hands on his chest. The muscle firm beneath your hands, flexing under your touch. Your lips tilted up, smiling and smirking in tandem as he watched you. His lips parted, double sets of canines poking out.

You wanted to lick them with the tip of your tongue. Prick it against the sharp pearls and bleed, smoothing the taste of metal inside his mouth as you kissed him deeply, marking him. That thought was enough for your knees to grow weak, body pressing your weight into your hands. Your breasts pressed against your arms, forearms bare against his lithe sternum. Eyes met his as you slowly dragged your hands down.

A gasp left his lips, his yellow-green eyes nearly rolling back in his head as your thin fingers trailed down from the clear formed handprints against his pecs, sliding down to his abdomen, the paint drying as you went.

His body involuntarily shuddered as he reached to grab at you. The next thing he knew your wet right hand was wrapped gently around his throat. Windpipe secure in your grip. You held his adam's apple in your hand and you wished to feel it bob. You wished to see him fall to his knees.

Wanted to see him lean in and kiss you. But you knew enough to know that he had placed the reins very firmly in your hands.

So you gripped just slightly, core fluttering at the slick noise the wet paint made as it spread and at his accompanied gasp. The warm forest air against your face burns hotter with your blush as you squeeze just a little harder. Moving him back to have his back against a tree.

You had a picture in your mind of spitting in his mouth then, of tugging his mouth open with your thumb, kicking his legs apart as you made yourself in between them, making him bend further to you, watching his pink tongue loll out in wait for any part of you.

The deep throb at the idea was almost painful with its force and you grimaced. Jake’s subsequent chuckle at your expression had your heartbeat racing as you pressed yoru chet to his, his other hand trapped in between you.

He just smiled.

“You wear my colour well. But I rather see your skin bare. You hear me?” And he nods. Hard, fast and his adam’s apple rubs against your palm. Thankfully a handful of the back of his braid and a quick tug stopped his coming laugh as his lips met yours in a crash. Warm, wet, and beautiful as his lips moved in sync with yours. You led him to lean halfway down with your grip on his throat, on his queue. You possessed all of him now. In this moment and all those next.

He knew it and so did you.

With a harsh tug of his head to the right his neck stretched towards you and you licked a hot line up his throat to his jaw, kissing and nipping hard as you went. His knees nearly collapsed as he gripped the oak behind him, nails digging into the barc, his eyes squeezed closed.

Your lips were petal soft, tickling his ear as you leaned in. “You’re mine. Say it.”

You pulled back just slightly to meet his eyeline, his pupils blown wide and half lidded, in a  haze and only you could put him there. He was still trapped against you and the tree, his throat hot in your hand as he met your look.

“I’m yours.”

He was breathless, truly breathless and pathetic. And you loved him at this moment. Him  struck dumb at your words, and the way you handled him.

“I'm all yours, baby.”

[borathae]

Chapter 10

ALSO HOW DID SHE GET BACK LATER?? wasnt she waking out of the uni? how did she end up in bed?? doesnt she have any classes on tuesday or wednesday? cuz then she would have realized somethings wrong

hold on i checked, she didnt have any classes on tuesday and was in library studying, so she is doing the same thing on wed too. and uni/colleges doesnt call you if you didnt attend until its not enough to apply for exam. holy shit she is only going to realize it until she goes to her class and finds out the said class was yesterday and today is tomorrow

GO AWAY (JIMIN) ANNA ofc joon stood up cuz it was yesterday and not today

THE MOVIE RAIN SCENE YEEHAW He is drenched, hair sticking against his forehead and shirt clinging to his body. IM GONNA DIE IM SIMPING TOO HARD AAAH

ok apology accepted i guess

“force of habit perhaps."  that hurt

keekek they are running home in the rain THEY ARE RUNNING HOME IN THE RAIN AAH JAOLXGWUIS giggles

STOP THEY ARE SO FUCKING CUTE WITH ALL THE SPLASHING AAAH I CANT PLEASE WHY AM I SINGLE AF 😭😭

If he keeps kissing you like this, you can’t guarantee that you won’t jump his bones right here and now. You twist his tie, needing him closer. TWISTING THE TIE AAAH PULL THE TIE FUCK

ALLOW ME TO FUCK YOU HOLY MOLY NOBODY SAYS THAT AND THATS SAD AS FUCK but it also makes it extra hot when tae says it

30 BUCKS FOR AN UNDERWEAR WTF YALL IT BETTER HAVE GOLD LACE OR SOMETHING i can get a dozen of normal underwear for less than 30 riyals???

FUCK THE TURN FROM ALL THE SWEET TALK- DIRTY TALK TO DESPERATE AS FUCK aaah my skin's hot??? oof

shit she is soo ruined, You are pretty sure you just gave birth. SHE GAVE BIRTH TO KTH 1 CONGRATULATIONS

Allow me to find my release on your chest”, THIS IS SOO FUNNY AND HOT AT THE SAME TIME

LICKING HER CLEAN FUCK IS THIS THE HOTTEST SMUT I READ OF YOURS??? (me with all your smut fuck)

“Vampires?” Taehyung gasps and inhales so harshly that he chokes on his spit, “my” – cough – "darling" – cough – "why would" – cough – "you think that?” - cough. ha caught u in 4k

SAYING JOON was in her dream caught his attention ALSO RM??

NOT YOU TO TAE NOOOOAUR AARGH *im this close to jumping off a cliff

oh my god idk what to do AAAH IM PULLING MY HAIR OUT

ALSO HOW DID SHE GET BACK LATER?? wasnt she waking out of the uni? how did she end up in bed?? doesnt she have any classes on tuesday or wednesday? cuz then she would have realized somethings wrong. hold on i checked, she didnt have any classes on tuesday and was in library studying, so she is doing the same thing on wed too. and uni/colleges doesnt call you if you didnt attend until its not enough to apply for exam. holy shit she is only going to realize it until she goes to her class and finds out the said class was yesterday and today is tomorrow

THE CONFUSION IS GROWING LIKE WHAT DID JOON DO TO HER?? WHAT ARE THEY ALL DOING TO HER?? HELP HER

THE MOVIE RAIN SCENE YEEHAW He is drenched, hair sticking against his forehead and shirt clinging to his body. IM GONNA DIE IM SIMPING TOO HARD AAAH

relatable. valid. me.

ok apology accepted i guess

hahah me when wet!Tae JFAJSDF

“force of habit perhaps."  that hurt

the pain </3

keekek they are running home in the rain THEY ARE RUNNING HOME IN THE RAIN AAH JAOLXGWUIS giggles

HAHAHHA ME

STOP THEY ARE SO FUCKING CUTE WITH ALL THE SPLASHING AAAH I CANT PLEASE WHY AM I SINGLE AF 😭😭

me fr (I was at a street festival yesterday and the men there reminded me why I'm single. imma stick with my delulu fictional men tbfh)

If he keeps kissing you like this, you can’t guarantee that you won’t jump his bones right here and now. You twist his tie, needing him closer. TWISTING THE TIE AAAH PULL THE TIE FUCK

LIKE I NEED HER TO PULL HIM AROUND BY HIS TIE

ALLOW ME TO FUCK YOU HOLY MOLY NOBODY SAYS THAT AND THATS SAD AS FUCK but it also makes it extra hot when tae says it

like he is the king of consent AND I NEED HIM

30 BUCKS FOR AN UNDERWEAR WTF YALL IT BETTER HAVE GOLD LACE OR SOMETHING i can get a dozen of normal underwear for less than 30 riyals???

lmoaoao me fr JFADJ

FUCK THE TURN FROM ALL THE SWEET TALK- DIRTY TALK TO DESPERATE AS FUCK aaah my skin's hot??? oof

barking at him out of my vagina tbfh

shit she is soo ruined, You are pretty sure you just gave birth. SHE GAVE BIRTH TO KTH 1 CONGRATULATIONS

I forgot I wrote this BAHAHAH 😶 help why is she so unserious? jfasjdf

Allow me to find my release on your chest”, THIS IS SOO FUNNY AND HOT AT THE SAME TIME

HFAHDSHF I need him so bad

LICKING HER CLEAN FUCK IS THIS THE HOTTEST SMUT I READ OF YOURS??? (me with all your smut fuck)

LIKE BESTIE I ALSO FORGOT I WROTE THIS LIKE BARKING AT HIM

“Vampires?” Taehyung gasps and inhales so harshly that he chokes on his spit, “my” – cough – "darling" – cough – "why would" – cough – "you think that?” - cough. ha caught u in 4k

hfhadshf he is panicking hard

SAYING JOON was in her dream caught his attention ALSO RM??

jfajsdfj they are NOT subtle with it AFHSDFH

NOT YOU TO TAE NOOOOAUR AARGH *im this close to jumping off a cliff

LIKE STOP GASLIGHTING HER!!!!

[ilyxxnsm]

True Love 06 - TW!!

| is true love supposed to hurt like this?

warning: domestic violence, toxicity, s/a. don't judge. smut. reader's body type briefly mentioned. reader's ethnicity's not mentioned, but she's light skinned to white. mental health mentioned (medication, depression, anxiety, ADHD, etc). implied self harm (skin pinching, nail biting, scratching, hair pulling). of course physical abuse (hair pulling, slapping, pinching, punching, he breaks bones be fr, hickeys and bite marks??). drug dealer yoongi. everything against reader. reader's 17, yoongi's 23. this is fucked up, like really fucked up.

| I'm going to set this fucking cemetery on fire, burying the foundations of your empire, I warned you not to play with my nerves, because for the hell of it, I'm taking you out of this guild...

TW: S/A

It's been a week since Yoongi took you back, and you feel like a caged bird.

Yoongi's been busy working on his music and he hasn't been around that much, so you've had time think about stuff. Ever since he almost killed you, you've distanced yourself from him a bit, you don't call him every day, and you don't feel that usual need to have him around all the time, you don't even feel that sexual desire that's always present when he comes to mind. You don't really know what's going on, maybe you don't love him anymore? Maybe it's just a matter of time until you fully forgive him and everything goes back to normal.

Since Yoongi's not home most part of the day, he's not present in those moments where you throw up your guts out, when you feel dizzy all of sudden and wake up in the middle of the night with all of this mixed together. You've had time to think about the situation and you finally came to a realization. You're pregnant.

It's the only thing that explains your late period and sleepless nights, and it's pretty possible since Yoongi doesn't wear condoms and he buys you birth control pills every two months when he remembers you're supposed to take them. The mere thought of telling him about this makes you have panic attacks, it's so stupid you wanna slap yourself for even thinking about telling him the truth, he would take the matter in his own hands, and he would definitely do more than just break your a few bones.

The other part of the dilemma, is that you don't really wanna get rid of the baby. Yeah, your boyfriend is a narcissistic sociopath who almost unalived you for smiling at a random clerk, but you still love him, and this little bean growing inside you, is half you, half him. You've always been a pro-choice girl, but now that your living the situation, it isn't as easy as you thought it was, not even when your life is in danger if you try to make a choice.

So, you wanna have the baby, but you don't wanna tell him cause you're afraid of raising a child with him, but you're also afraid of being a single mother when you have nothing else than him.

You're screwed.

You wake up in the middle of the night to find out he's already back home, sleeping next to you. The only sound you can hear is the AC working and his soft snores, the occasional sound of honks and cars and a faint beat of the music coming from the bar next to the apartment complex. He's sleeping like a baby, his forearm thrown over his eyes and his other hand on his stomach, he looks so cute like this. You stand up carefully to not wake him up and walk towards the bathroom, locking the door behind you. You inmediatly lift your shirt to see your belly, maybe you're being paranoid, but you sweat it looks rounder, and it feels hard, like it's not just fat.

You shake your head, trying to clear your mind of the wild thoughts. You don't even know if you're actually pregnant yet, you can't start getting ahead of yourself like that. But the thought keeps playing in your mind like a broken record. You take a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down. You know you need to tell him, you can't keep this secret from him forever. You splash some water on your face again, trying to ground yourself. You look at yourself in the mirror again, trying to picture what you'll look like when you start to show, trying to imagine him holding you, rubbing your belly, talking to the baby and feeling it kick. The thought makes your heart flutter, but the anxiety is there too, nagging at you like a constant thorn in your side. You need to tell him, pregnant or not, you need to know what he thinks about it. But not now, maybe tomorrow, maybe in a few weeks, maybe when the baby's already here.

You go back to bed, hoping this is just a bad dream and you magically appear back in your own apartment getting ready for your first date with Yoongi, who's not a sociopath who tries to kill you any chance he has. But that doesn't happen.

The next morning, Yoongi wakes you up by grabbing your hair and pulling you out of bed, are you dreaming? He's wearing only his boxers, his hard cock pressing against your ass as he pins you to the mattress. No, you're not, this is pretty fucking real, you know it because it has happened a lot of times before. "You slept a lot" He growls, giving your hair a sharp tug. You can't even fight back, you're still sleepy and your eyes are wide open but bloodshot and tired. You feel him spreading your folds, and you let out a choked scream as he starts fucking you relentlessly, not even giving you time to lubricate properly, so it hurts like hell. His cock stretches and tears your walls, the sight of your blood only turns him on even more. "Fuck, you're so beautiful..." He grins, kneading your asscheeks and giving your hair a few tugs.

Yoongi's pace picks up as he continues to fuck you, hard. The sound of his balls slapping against your pussy echoes in the room, mixing with the wet panting that leaves your lips each time he thrusts himself deeper inside of you. "Stop fucking crying" Yoongi barks, slapping your face as he fucks you, his cock plunging in and out of you. His hands wander down to your neck, squeezing and massaging it. His thrusts become more frantic and desperate, the smell of sex and blood fills the room. You don't know for how long this keeps goinf before he grunts as he empties his load inside you, a satisfied growl escaping from his throat as he enjoys the feeling of your body trembling underneath him. Tears are falling down your cheeks as your body falls limp against the mattress, your pussy aching and tickling with the trail of cum dripping down your thighs.

You can't even understand it.

Yoongi slowly starts to pull out of you, leaving a trail of blood and cum. He smirks as he observes the damage he has inflicted on you, a twisted grin on his face. He reaches between your legs, sliding two fingers into your bloody pussy, making you gasp in pain. He chuckles and pulls his fingers out, wiping them on your asscheeks, leaving a red and swollen mess. He gets off the bed, not even bothering to clean you up, and walks to the bathroom, leaving you lying there, your eyes vacant and your body limp. He just raped you, but it's ok cause he's your boyfriend and you consented it, at some point you can't even remember, probably the first time he did it and you said you forgave him. But you're not mad at him, you're just a bit... confused and hurt. You whimper as you move slightly to cover yourself with the bedsheets, you're body trembling as you hug yourself.

Time seems to pass slowly, the walls feel so small around you and the blankets unable to stop you from shivering even though you're sweating. Yoongi returns from the bathroom, now dressed in a fresh change of clothes. He looks at you, and scoffs at the sight of you, still lying there with the bedsheets covering your naked body. "I'm going to the studio, probably won't be back tonight" He says as he shoves his phone and keys in his pocket, acting like you were watching TV instead of crying and bleeding after he assaulted you. He opens the door and leaves, slamming it shut behind him, and you're left alone with your thoughts, the pain and emotional distress overwhelming you. The sheets are stained with your blood and cum, a grim reminder of what just transpired. You try to sit up, wincing as the movement causes discomfort in your raw, abused pussy. You hear the sound of his car starting and driving away. You spread your folds with shaky fingers, watching the blood already starting to dry and his cum making everything sticky. You wince and close your eyes, holding back tears and sobs, you feel horrible, you don't understand why he's like this, why he hurts you every single time he's near you. Are you that despicable? That disgusting that everyone around you hates you?

You huff out a sigh and force yourself out of the bed, your legs shaking from the mix of pain and exhaustion. Your movements look robotic as you move through the house to the kitchen, picking up one of your many water bottles, you need something to drink, it soothes the pain slightly. You take your pills and also some painkillers, wondering if it's dangerous to mix them together, but you really don't care. You drink a whole bottle of water in one gulp, your body still feeling dry and stiff, as if you were a plant that's slowly dying. You don't wanna die, but you don't wanna live like this, but you live him, but he hurts you. Your thoughts are a mess. You start pulling on your hair out of anxiety and desperation, wanting to stop your mind from working and torturing you even more. You hit your head a few times and scream, your legs failing and making you fall to your knees.

Everything feels so heavy, like you're carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders and everybody's worst problems are now yours. It's probably stupid since there's probably people starving (against their will) and dying in war and you're just a stupid girl whose problems are merely her fault. You blame yourself, you blame everybody, even your father for getting your mother pregnant of you, but you can't bring yourself to blame Yoongi. Cause yeah, even after all of the things he's done, you still love him with all your fucking stupid heart.

You stay kneeling on the kitchen floor, your head in your hands, your body shaking with silent sobs. You feel so empty, so broken, like you're just a doll that Yoongi can play with and toss aside whenever he pleases. The pain in your head from hitting it, the pain in your pussy from being raped, the pain in your heart, it's all just too much. You start to sob uncontrollably, your body shaking as you kneel on the hard floor, your hands still tangled in your hair, pulling it tightly and yanking out a few hairs. You don't know how many time you spend having a breakdown in the kitchen, but suddenly, everything feels clear again and you're in his apartment still, not in the sea of thoughts of your mind. You stand up slowly and sigh, feeling stupid for acting like a baby throwing a tantrum. You walk towards the bathroom to take a quick shower, you don't feel sad now, you feel like you give a fuck and you don't even know why.

You should just leave, you can, and if you don't, well, that a you problem, right? Yeah, that's it.

He just comes back to you to fuck you up even more, to stomp on your self esteem and your persona and even your body. And you're slowly getting tired of it, you wanna kill him and kill yourself, whatever destiny wants to make happen first.

[lady-of-endless]

Hello! May I please request a one piece matchup? If you're too busy please feel free to delete! <3

--

BASICS

Name: Mochi

Gender: Female (she/her)

Sexual Orientation: Pansexual (any gender match is ok!)

SIGNS AND TYPES

Zodiac: Libra sun, Libra moon, Leo rising

MBTI: INFP

Enngram: 4; the individualist

Alignment: Chaotic good

House: Slytherin

Love Language (Giving): Physical touch, quality time

Love Language (Receiving): Quality time, gift giving

PERSONALITY

Likes: Video games, reading, drawing, writing, crochet, cross stitch, Sanrio, frogs, mushrooms, cows, coffee, sweets, summertime

Dislikes: Chores (executive dysfunction), cold weather, bitter foods, crowded places, overload of sounds (sensory issue)

Personality: I'm a very quiet person, but I'm also very friendly and bubbly. I love making friends even though I have social anxiety around new people. I'm not the most talkative, though I can hold a conversation: I'm a great listener, at least! I love spending time with my loved ones, especially my special person. I try really hard to make people feel welcome and relaxed when they're around me. Despite being quiet, I'm generally quiet communicative. When it comes to negative feelings it does have to be dragged out of me a bit, but otherwise I'm an open book!

I'm very chill most of the time, and can be very laid back. More a follower personality. I can be a bit cavalier as I deal with everything through (often quite dark) humor, but if I ever make someone genuinely uncomfortable I'm good to stop. I do need to be told peoples feelings directly though as I'm not a good judge of others unless I already know them well. Because of this I don't sus out peoples intentions well and see the best even when maybe it's not there. I'm pretty naive and gullible tbh. If you dig my humor, though, I'm really funny.

I'm very mental health aware. I suffer from anxiety and bipolar II, so I can be a lot. That being said, I'm very observant with those I love and very good at dealing with ups and downs in myself and others. I'm very introspective and always in my head for better and worse. I'm always striving to better myself, but tend to doubt myself and give into negative self talk.

I value my found family above all else. There's nothing I wouldn't do for them and I've been told I'm too loyal. I also value accountability, a growth mindset, and ambition.

Im very indoorsy and a bit of a homebody. That being said, I don't mind being spontaneous from time to time or going out if there's something interesting to do.

I have my moments of insecurity for sure but I'm pretty confident most of the time. Like I said, I'm an open book - I'm not shy to talk about anything with someone who asks and is seemingly well-intentioned! I honestly just have a huge interest in how people think and love picking their brains lol. I also love silly theorheticals for this very reason.

I'm a big softie who unsuccessfully pretends to be a tough guy. I've got a major weakness for cute things and wouldn't hurt a fly in reality. Soft candy with a gooey centre fr.

APPEARANCE

Hair: I have shoulder-length very dark brown wavy hair with a side part and grown out fringe. My hair is plain but it's soft!

Eyes: I have beautiful, big chocolate brown eyes with long lashes. They're one of my favourite parts of myself!

Body: I have olive skin, a pear figure, and am overweight. I have about 7 smallish tattoos, and piercings in my lips, ears, and nose.

Style: usually I'm very hobo-chic with all sweats but my preferred style is either full alt or cute pink dresses and bows.

--

Tysm for your time! Don't hesitate to message me if you have any questions!

Author's Note: Thank you so much for this request and how detailed and well structured it is! It made my work really enjoyable. As a side note, you seem such a nice person. Hope you'll enjoy it! 🌹

I ship you with...Trafalgar D Water Law!

(lovely gif is not mine, please show appreciation to the OP)

- Your chill and laid-back way of being is what naturally draws him to you. Afterwards, your bubbly side is what keeps him close, all whipped and annoyed.

- He hates to admit that you are exactly what he needed.

- You both seem loyal, mature and ambitious. Once he discovers those traits in you, he decides that he wants you close. An ally, maybe. That's what he sees in you initially.

- A softer demeanor is what Law needs to heal from his past. You being a softie is what will keep him getting better. Is also a side of you that he wants to keep as a secret, not wanting others to try to use it as manipulation.

- Being introspective is a mutual trait so at times, it will be a little complicated for you to figure out and communicate what's happening between you two.

- He's the first to notice that you're feeling anxious. Maybe because he's a doctor or maybe because he worries for you, who knows? (Hint: It's both.)

- The innocent gullibility you mentioned is something that triggers Law to take care of you. And also to tease you, good luck.

- Soft hair? Lay next to him as he's studying and let him run his fingers through your hair while he's reading.

- A cute scenario? You two would have late night convos about tattoos and piercings. Both being half asleep, talking about what other tattoos or piercings you want/consider cool.

- About your style, I think you two would make a great power couple when you go for the alternative aesthetic. If you go for the cute pink aesthetic, there's something about it that makes him whipped.

[lveclouds]

↬ pairing/characters: choi seungcheol x reader, other members may make appearances/be mentioned 

↬ genre/aus: lovers to exes, heavy angst, a tiny bit of fluff (mainly from flashbacks), song au, sad ending, slight college/university au, first love, childhood friends 

↬ summary: in which you remember your first and only love and how he broke your heart. 

↬ rating(s): m,18+ (see warnings) 

↬ tw: heavy swearing, mentions of alcohol/heavy consumption (reader gets a bit drunk), failed love (im so sorry), seungcheol breaks reader’s heart but at least he’s a sweetheart about it, reader needs a hug fr (the other members are her support system), bittersweet/sad ending, heartbreak (im so sorry y’all), mentions of bullying (brief, mainly verbal), brief mention/description of a horrible nightmare (seungcheol has one in a flashback), seungcheol is kind of bad at feelings and starts to pull away from reader, miscommunication (smh), mentions of emotional breakdowns (very, very brief and not very detailed)

wc: 4.2k

↬ note: sooo yeah this is yet another fic that came out of left field oops- anyways this fic is loosely based off ‘half a heart’ by one direction, which is one of my favorite angsty songs ever, like of all time. this fic is going to HURT so prepare tissues and brace yourself, for this is quite possibly one of the saddest things i have ever written. also, did i search for a ‘sad one direction songs’ playlist on spotify to write this? maybe. also yeah the summary sucks because i can’t write them to save my life <3 this is also my first scoups fic :) 

tears stung your eyes as you sat in the front seat of your car, knees tucked into your chest, heavy raindrops pelting the windows. you clutched a worn, gray hoodie to your chest, the faint smell of sage and rosewood invading your senses. it’d belonged to your first love, choi seungcheol. he’d lent it to you after a drunken asshole had spilled his drink on your dress during a night out, insisting that it looked better on you than it did him after you’d tried to give it back a few days later. 

the mere mention of his name was enough to make your heart ache. your body shook with soft sobs as images of his gorgeous smile flashed across your mind. the memory of his gentle touches and kisses were burned into your skin like a brand. 

and if you closed your eyes, you could still picture him beside you, lacing your fingers with his as he drove, humming softly to whatever song was playing on the radio, see the utter fondness and adoration in his eyes whenever he looked at you, cleaving your heart into two, never to be made whole again. 

loving seungcheol had been as easy as breathing, and a decision that you would never regret. he was kind, selfless, and loved with all his heart. and while seungcheol wasn’t overly affectionate, he showed it in other ways, whether it’d be through small acts of service or words of affirmation. 

he would always comfort you after a shitty day of classes or work, holding you in his strong arms as you sobbed into his chest. seungcheol was unfailingly patient with you, never pushing you to talk about anything if it was too difficult to do so, and always gave you space and time whenever you needed it. 

it’d been enough to convince you that seungcheol would be a permanent presence in your life. hot tears scalded your cheeks, blurring your vision, and a helpless whimper escaped you, clutching the hoodie tighter, like a lifeline. the day things had ended would forever haunt you, for it was when your entire world had collapsed around you. 

seungcheol hadn’t lashed out or screamed at you like you’d thought he would. instead, he had simply given you a sad, teary smile, holding you flush against him, pressing a soft kiss onto your hair. you had sobbed into his shirt, curling your fingers in the soft fabric, the comforting scent of rosewood and sage hitting your nose. 

“i’m sorry love, i’m so sorry that things between us had to end this way.” “then why? why don’t you stay?” “you deserve better than me.” and with one last kiss to your cheek, soft and gentle, he left, taking your heart with him. 

the days that followed were miserable, and you would’ve likely spent the next few months holed up in your dorm, curled up in your bed, if it weren���t for your friends, dokyeom, joshua, vernon, hoshi, woozi, dino, seungkwan, mingyu, minghao, jun, wonwoo, and jeonghan. they showed up to your dorm, with mingyu threatening to break the door down if you didn’t let them in. 

dokyeom, joshua, woozi, and vernon brought all your favorite snacks and offered to watch all your favorite movies and animes, even the sad ones. hoshi and jeonghan held you when thoughts of seungcheol managed to worm their way into your mind, running gentle hands through your hair and whispering comforting words in your ear. 

dino and seungkwan took you out to your favorite karaoke place, singing all the sad love songs and angry break up songs, and even treated you to some korean barbeque afterward. wonwoo took you on a shopping spree to your favorite local bookstore, insisting to pay for any books you wanted. 

minghao and jun listened to you whenever you needed to rant about how hurt and heartbroken you were about how things had ended between you and seungcheol, offering their advice every now and then. they both hated seeing you so distraught, especially over a man you had bared every piece of your soul to. 

mingyu insisted on making you home-cooked meals, filling your fridge with tupperware laden with your favorite comfort foods. he made sure that you ate at least three times a day, and that you didn’t starve yourself, not even for one second. “i refuse to see someone i care about spiral, and if cooking you a million home-cooked meals and the others tease me for wearing a frilly apron is what it takes to get you to eat, then so be it.” 

you truly didn’t deserve your friends, especially because they took it upon themselves to walk with you to and from your classes, glaring daggers at anyone who snickered upon seeing your bloodshot eyes and rumpled clothing or seemed they would ask questions about why a certain someone wasn’t by your side. 

seungcheol had been your support system for as long as you could remember, even before you’d become a couple. you’d been childhood friends, having lived next to each other in the same small neighborhood for years. 

your families had been very close, always inviting one another to parties or for dinner. you’d met him on a sunny day in march, when the spring flowers were in full bloom, and that day had arguably been the best day of your life, for you’d met your soulmate, your best friend. 

elementary school had been a blur, though you vaguely remembered how seungcheol was fiercely protective of you, threatening to beat up the boys who thought you were weird and way too quiet. he had even gotten into a fight with one boy after he’d insulted you, calling you a freak, which had landed him in detention for weeks. 

high school was eventful, as it was the time you and seungcheol were discovering what you wanted to do with your future, as well as experiencing your first crushes and heartbreaks. during your sophomore year, seungcheol had comforted you after your first breakup, when your then boyfriend had broken up with you over text, stating that he had found someone else. 

he had come over to your house, bringing you all your favorite snacks and watching the cheesiest and trashiest romcoms you could find on netflix, letting you sob into his shoulder and running gentle fingers through your hair. 

“that asshole didn’t deserve you, not for one second. he’s a fucking coward for dumping you over text, and a complete and utter idiot for even considering breaking up with you in the first place. you’re beautiful and kind and the most genuine person i know, and anyone who doesn’t appreciate you for who you are can go to hell.” seungcheol had said when you’d broken the news to him the day after the breakup, immediately taking you into his strong arms and holding you close. 

and, when college began, you began to fall in love with your best friend. you couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment you realized that your feelings for seungcheol were anything but platonic. perhaps it was when you started noticing the broadness of his shoulders and the way the muscles in his arms flexed every time he picked up something, or how a simple smile from him was enough to send your heart racing. 

ultimately, though, it was how seungcheol was always there to support and comfort you in any way he could, always going out of his way to make sure you ate properly, dropping by your dorm at ungodly hours at night, holding plastic bags full of snacks or plenty of takeout boxes, insisting that you eat something before passing out. and, no matter what, he always listened. 

you’d had a habit of rambling, especially when you were stressed or angry, and seungcheol would listen attentively and carefully to every single word, even if it was complete gibberish. he’d always lend you a shoulder to cry on, and was always there to wipe away your tears with a tissue or the pad of his thumb, light green eyes soft. 

you had fallen in love with him, slowly, then all at once, and despite your previous reservations and doubts about if dating your best friend was a good idea, you knew that keeping your feelings bottled up would only make you miserable. 

your confession had been nothing short of emotional, with your heart aching impossibly and tears streaming down your face, out of fear that seungcheol would scorn you or be disgusted. instead, though, he had pulled you into the gentlest kiss of your life, a light touch of lips to lips, and his hand cupping your cheek tenderly. 

you’d felt light, as if a huge weight had been lifted off your shoulders, for seungcheol hadn’t pushed you away or scorned you. he was the only person that made you feel all those emotions and, as clichè as it was, the only one you felt safe and accepted with. 

like most new relationships, yours had felt straight out of a fairytale. seungcheol was loving, attentive, and extremely caring. and, every time you were apart, he would send you a daily selfie, sending you texts such as: i miss you:(( or make sure to eat today love, okay?  and, if he was feeling particularly sappy, god, you’re so fucking beautiful, i wonder how i got so lucky. 

and sure, some of his texts were extremely cheesy and a bit cringe, but they made you smile all the same. seungcheol always made sure to tell you how much he adored you, and, every night, he would ask to facetime just so he could see your face and say good night. 

when seungcheol would spend the night at your dorm, he would insist on making you dinner, gently shooing you away from the kitchen when you’d tried to help. “i appreciate you wanting to help love, but all i want you to do is sit on the couch and relax, okay? you can even take a nap if you want, i know how exhausting classes can be. i’ll wake you up once dinner’s ready.” 

you sobbed, burying your face into your hands. memories of you and seungcheol sneaking kisses whenever he’d stop at a red light when driving, a warm hand on your thigh, him brushing your hair from your face; the way his eyes crinkled every time he smiled, the loud, boisterous laugh that would spill from him after you’d tell him a terrible joke, light green eyes fond, and the way seungcheol’s kisses had ruined you for anyone else, flashed across your mind. 

even now, you weren’t sure when things had gone wrong. of course, your relationship wasn’t perfect, with your fair share of petty fights here and there, but nothing too major. seungcheol was also a very vocal person, and if he was sad or angry with you, he would communicate as much.

he could also get a bit possessive and jealous at times, especially when you had started to become close with mingyu and his friends. when you had met mingyu, it was during your junior year of college, and after bonding over music, you had become fast friends. then, after a few weeks, mingyu had introduced you to his friends, and the rest had been history. 

while seungcheol was happy that you had people to support and look after you when he wasn’t around, he still had had moments of jealously, sulking and pouting when you would laugh at something mingyu or any of his friends said or when you got distracted by a funny video they would send you. 

though, he usually stopped sulking and pouting after you showered him with kisses or allowed him to use your lap as a pillow whenever you were watching tv or movies with him, carding your fingers through his hair. there were other times where he would purposefully flex his muscles around mingyu, which was a sight that never failed to amuse you, especially because the aforementioned male was a lot taller and a bit more muscular. 

“y/n, why does your boyfriend always look like he wants to murder me every time i so much as breathe?” mingyu had asked you one day over lunch. “it’s kind of hilarious, if i’m being honest.” wonwoo had added, dark hazel eyes glittering with mirth. you had shrugged, struggling to keep a blush from forming on your face. 

“i don’t know, i guess it’s because he’s not used to our friendship yet. but he doesn’t get angry or anything like that when i tell him that i’m spending time with you guys.” “good,” minghao had said after a long stretch of silence, “i don’t have to beat him up then.” at that, seungkwan had snorted. “you can’t even hurt a fly, much less a living, breathing, human.” “i can still try.” the former had mumbled. 

seungcheol had always been a private person, keeping to himself most of the time, and was pretty guarded, even with you. it’d taken a long time for him to open up about his struggles and worries, but you never pushed. you’d waited for him to openly express such things, and it had been worth it. 

throughout your relationship, you had never really seen him cry, for he was usually the one comforting you. that had all changed when seungcheol had called you at an ungodly hour at night last spring, asking if he could spend the night at your dorm. “hi love, i’m sorry if i woke you, i know it’s late.” he had said, voice notably strained, as if he were holding back tears. 

“no, it’s okay, what’s wrong?” a long pause, and then:  “i woke up from a nightmare and i’m feeling so unsettled. is it okay if i spend the night with you, love?” your heart had ached at how vulnerable he sounded. “of course, do you need me to get anything?” “no, i just need you.” 

he’d shown up on your doorstep thirty minutes later, light green eyes red-rimmed from crying, tears streaming down his face, and your heart had ached for him. seungcheol had all but thrown himself into your arms, sobbing into your neck, and you had never seen him break down, not like this. 

the rest of the night had been spent with seungcheol in your arms, rubbing comforting circles on his back and carding your fingers through his soft, dark hair. “do you wanna talk about it?” you’d asked after a while, when his sobs had subsided and his breathing had evened out. “it was horrible, love, absolutely horrible. and fucking terrifying.” your heart broke at how small and helpless he sounded. 

“what was it about? you don’t have to tell me if it makes you uncomfortable.” seungcheol had shaken his head resolutely. “no, i don’t want to keep this from you. besides, i know that if i keep this to myself, i’ll go fucking insane.”

“it was awful, and i don’t know exactly what caused it, but all i know is that i was standing on the sidewalk, and you were standing on the other side, looking radiant in that light blue dress you love so much, and you stepped out to cross the street, and-god, it f-felt so real, and it was so fucking terrifying.” 

with every shaky syllable, every word that came out of his mouth, you had felt your heart slowly breaking into fragments. it’d been enough for tears of your own to form, and you didn’t bother to keep them from falling. 

“it just.. the dream felt so real.” seungcheol had whispered, voice shaking, and you couldn’t help the choked sob that escaped you, holding him closer to you, sobbing into the crook of his neck. 

your heart ached as you remembered how after that night, he had started to become closed off, and pull away from you, little by little. he’d pull away everytime your fingers so much as brushed against each other, and even flinch when you tried to kiss his cheek.

 your dates became tense, awkward, and rushed, even to the point where you would be lucky just to get a few minutes alone with him. and whenever you noticed that he seemed to be bothered by something, seungcheol would refuse to speak to you about it, and became even more guarded than usual. 

it was as if that fateful night had completely changed the dynamic of your relationship. sure, he hadn’t been very open and expressive with his emotions before, but he would always let you know if something was bothering him.  you had tried not to resent seungcheol for it, for you knew that the nightmare was something that had truly shaken him, and was likely the reason why he had suddenly become distant. 

when you’d finally gathered up the courage to confront seungcheol about his strange behavior, you expected him to lash out and yell at you for being so nosy. much to your shock, he had looked at you, light green eyes full of regret.

 “i’m sorry, love, i know that’s a terrible fucking apology, and definitely not the one you deserve, but hurting you was the last thing i wanted to do, and that’s exactly what i did. and i don’t think i’ll ever be able to forgive myself. so, shout at me, argue with me, break my heart. just don’t give up on me.” those words alone had been enough to erase any lingering anger you had, and seungcheol had embraced you afterwards, holding you close while you sobbed into his shoulder. 

outside, the heavy rain had slowed to a gentle downpour, turning the world into mist and water, and you sniffled, hugging your ex-boyfriend’s hoodie to your chest, relishing in the comforting scent of sage and rosewood that somehow still hadn’t faded away. 

you felt absolutely pathetic, sobbing and lamenting over someone you’d broken up with four months ago, but you couldn’t help it. choi seungcheol had been your first and only love, and you weren’t sure if you could ever fully love someone else, even after he had broken your heart. 

a bitter laugh spilled from your lips, unprovoked, and you fought the urge to scream in frustration. seungcheol had ended things because he thought he wasn’t good enough for you, or some bullshit like that. a small, dark part of you believed that the real reason he had ended things was that he just simply didn’t want to be with you anymore, from the way he had purposefully distanced himself. 

at the time, you didn’t even realize that seungcheol hadn’t told you why he had distanced himself from you in the first place, and that alone was enough to ignite the small flame of resentment and anger in your veins. you hated thinking about him, for only the memories were too painful to recall, and it made you want to scream in frustration. 

you were glad that your friends were not around to see you in such a hapless state, for they were all fast asleep at the airbnb you’d rented for the summer. as much as going on vacation with them was painful, as it was something that you and seungcheol did quite often in the past, it was nice to get away from seoul for a little while, even if it was temporary. it’d been joshua who suggested the impromptu trip, insisiting that it would benefit you to be away from home for a few weeks.

and, in a way, joshua had been right. the first few days of the vacation had been peaceful, relaxing, even, and you’d been able to spend time with mingyu and the others without thinking of the man who had ripped your heart into pieces. 

though, there were also nights like these, ones where you were unable to sleep, and your thoughts got the better of you, and the memories of seungcheol were too much to bear, and you snuck out quietly in the middle of the night to get some air. 

you knew that your friends wouldn’t be angry if you woke them late at night, especially if you couldn’t stop thinking about him, but you had noticed the dark circles under their eyes, tired from the long hours of traveling. so, you decided that not waking them would be for the best.

 besides, you weren’t sure if you could bear to see the pitying and worrying looks from them if they knew you were still having emotional breakdowns over someone who had hurt you so deeply. you hastily wiped away a tear you weren’t even aware had escaped, refusing to waste your tears on a failed relationship. 

suddenly, your phone rang, the shrill sound cutting through the thick silence of the car, and you nearly jumped at the sudden noise. sighing, you answered the call, not bothering to check the caller id. “y/n?” a deep voice said, and your stomach immediately coiled with dread. 

“wonwoo?” “where the hell are you? we all just woke up and saw you weren’t in your bed, and you weren’t picking up your phone, and now everyone’s worried sick. seungkwan’s practically on the verge of a heart attack right now, and mingyu considered sending out a search party for you, and minghao had to talk him out of it.” 

worry and fear was evident in his voice, and you could hear faint shouting and whispering in the background, and immediately, tears pricked your eyes. “i-i’m s-sorry for disappearing on all of you in the middle of the night, but i-i couldn’t sleep, and i didn’t w-want to wake any of you because i knew how exhausted everyone was from the drive over here and-” 

“y/n”, wonwoo began, tone gentle but firm, “we got plenty of rest these past few days, and you’re our friend, don’t be afraid to wake us up at ungodly hours of night. none of us give a shit if you do, even if you tell us to go get you ice cream from the nearest convenience store because you’re having a late night craving. we want to take care of you, and you will never be a burden to us. you have nothing to apologize for. just come back to us, yeah?” 

god, you really didn’t deserve your friends, not for one second. “o-ok.” wonwoo let out a sigh, the sound more relieved than anything else. “be careful, okay?” “i-i will. a-actually, wonwoo, c-could you stay on the phone with me until i get home? i-i don’t want to drive in silence, and hearing your voice will make me feel safe.” you mumbled, heat flooding to your cheeks, glad wonwoo couldn’t see you blush. “of course, love, anything.” he replied, and, strangely, the use of seungcheol’s old nickname for you didn’t cause your heart to ache like it normally did. hearing it from wonwoo was almost comforting. 

you smiled, put your phone on speaker, and placed it on the center console. as you drove back to the airbnb, wonwoo’s deep, soothing voice filling the small space of your car, you felt lighter than you had in weeks, and all thoughts of your first love vanished from your mind. maybe, just maybe, i’m finally moving on. 

↬ a/n: damn okay i did not expect this fic to be this long lmao anyways yeah that was depressing :’) my next fic will definitely not be as depressing, i swear skdfjsljldjf i have missed posting fics regularly omg it’s been so long :’) last summer, i posted so many fics and GOD i hope i can do that again this year. writer’s block has hit me so hard these past few months and i hate it :(( like i just wanna write :(

sooo yeah i hope you all enjoyed the angst fest that was this fic, and my next one should be the hockey! player mingyu fic i’ve been working on for like months lmao its at 10k and counting right now so it’s probably going to be a whole book at this point slkjdflkjdkjf also i’ve been trying to accomplish my goal of reading 100 books this year, so if any of you have recommendations, pls send them my way <3 (p.s. i like just about anything to do with romance or fantasy) 

i love you guys, and i hope everyone is having an amazing summer so far <3 ! 

tagging: @playmetheclassics​ , @skyjoong​ , @adulttoast​ , @sketchguk​ , @taeyo95​ , @hong-jisoo​ , @shuadotcom​,  and anyone else who wants to read this fic <3 

[sk3tch404]

Bro, don't even get me started on the video quality- if I could get a cent for every pixel I'm seeing on screen, I wouldn't even have enough money for chicken nuggets 😔 (affectionate)

Fr though, these women didn't have to go that hard, but they still went and absolutely knocked it out of the park with their vocals, even with the video compression. For example:

https://youtu.be/MxMwVoiih3U

(TW: flashing lights, you can also find it on Spotify btw!)

LIKE,, THE GUITAR SOLO,, THE B E L T I N G,,,,, God I'm in love with her voice fr it's so beautiful- 😭😭😭

(Unrelated but my mind immediately tried to autocorrect the "it's been so long since-" in your tags with "I last have seen my son" 😔 istg the song has permanently tainted my ability to read/hear that phrase like a normal person)

-Ren'py anon

OKAT WRITING THROUGHOUT THE VID

THE EXPLOSION???? CONFUSED ALREADY

anime beach ep ok ok

MY GOD ITS FIVE MINUTES???

The hair flying in wind, THE POWERFUL VOCALS, the pretty woman... I'm fuckin with it okay

they are digging smth. I hope it isn't what I'm thinking it is.

ALSO THAT MAN IS STRONG FOR DIGGING LIKE THAT. THROWING IT OVER UR BODY??? GOLLY JEE CALM DOWN

is that money blowing into her face? If so that's a really good metaphor.

where is my dude in orange walking?

is he Moses making the rocks smooth? 😭 idk if that's a thing/story apart of ur culture or not, but it's cool.

I like that they focus on the flower and are ignoring all of the money surrounding it. It's a nice message.

I think I know what the kid giving the flower to the woman means, but at the same time I'm not so sure.

Why is he on a mountain/hill? idk lol

I thought the guy in orange was gonna be bonked with the rock at the end,

Okay, review time.

I think this was about war/violence in their country? I mean, shit there was an explosion in the beginning. There was a little girl playing an instrument with healed burned/wounded skin on her face. The guy also had healed injuries on his hand while he was digging too.

I think that signifies that they are both hurt or dead in a sense. The child is what I think, is dead, and he is the one digging up her grave. He is tied with her death as he is also taking part if it?

The flower through the money represents the things they truly care about other than material items. Though flowers can wither and die off easily, if you take care of them correctly, they can give bountiful results and give sentimental value.

I don't know what the man in the orange represented though? I don't know if the government is the right word, but perhaps a sort of authority? He looks like a monk of sorts, so maybe he has some sort of spiritual or mental power over the general people?

The little girl giving the flowers to the woman was also nice. Perhaps she was her mother or a close family member. I think the little girl is telling her not to worry about her death, or to keep her flower cared for, dead or not?

Maybe the man in orange making the ground smooth was a metaphor to industrialization? Taking nature's natural form, taking money and replacing it with something manufactured? idk I could be wrong, it lowkey looked like a legend or from a story.

10/10

Vocals, music video story, visuals, melody...

Perfect. Though the video quality isn't perfect, the messege it is sending is very impactful and beautiful.

HER BELTING IS AWESOME I LOVE IT.

From this lovely beautiful video, to Fnaf is funny 😭

That fnaf song is a banger though. And yeah no same, I didn't have a serious fnaf phase, but it is INGRAINED IN MY MUSCLE MEMORY

[arirights]

MY REALITY! (4D b in my 3D fr)

Physical Appearance

- long curly 3a/3b curls(past my shoulders) super healthy and moisturized always!

- short slim and lifted feline face. my forehead rounded and small. my eyes are naturally elongated and feline shaped and my nose is smaller and uplifted!! Super long manga lashes. i have a longer pointier chin that fits my face perfectly. I have a angel skull so basically super pretty and perfect angelic side profile! sharp jawline that can cut knives and everything (p.s. basically i look like those super hot black tiktok and Pinterest girls. Also one day I went to my orientation for college and I got so many compliments saying I look like one of those hot tiktok girls on their fyp😭)

- slim pear shaped body with perfect cute round upside down heart shaped jiggly butt🤭 im just feminine looking fr. anyways my skin is HD clear af got that blurred effect .. so cute on me fr. the hairs on my body are so light that u can’t see em. i got no hairy ass toes either.. that wld b scary. BONUS: all my internal organs are all healthy and pink and always will be. literally immune to all diseases and shit

Life + extras

- getting my rose gold Mercedes’ benz for free this Saturday!:) im also super good at driving and will always be safe! Especially my car yall .. my baby will never get hurt.

- the dorm im gonna be in allows cats and small animals so I’m gonna get a super cute healthy fluffy white kitten for free and it’s gonna be so fun and easy to take care of her. im gnna call her sunflower bc I lov sunflowers :3 and we are gonna have the best bond ever she’s super cuddly and cute and spoiled by me ofc

- academics is literally gonna be so easy im gonna ace every test and exam period.

- I make 2k a week without working for it so pretty much I make 10k a month. I got mad money in my bank account rn like around 20k. I get money every other day too randomly like between 70$ and 200. So i be getting a little over 10k a month in total🤭 it’s so nice because since I’ll be getting so much money I’ll start to take frequent vacations to other countries with friends or by myself‼️and in conclusion I’ll always have enough money for anything and everything no matter what.

- Covid and monkeypox doesn’t exist.. it never did.. deadass don’t know what dat is .. it sounds funny

- equality between race, ethnicity, gender, and sex

- I can manifest anything whenever instantly because I said so. and that’s it lol. also any method I use works just the same. for ex subliminals give me drastic results instantly within seconds because I said so. also subliminals help me be more organized fr. Also everything works in my favor and anything i want is already mine period :)

- im literally gonna have the best friend group, maybe even multiple. im just gonna have so many good loyal friends who treat me like I’m a celebrity. I have everything anyone has ever wanted to everyone always comes up to me and asks me how I did this and that :> me and my friends have almost everything in common and are always so positive and there for each other and we all bad bitches wether boy or girl or neither🤭my friends deadass the hottest too fr they all could b models!!

- my roommates are literally basically super cool and understanding and chill. we all get along so well and it’s just cute girly positivity

- im always invited to super fun and safe parties and I’m always able to go. Nothing will get in the way of me going :3 im gonna have so much fun fr

- after my first two years of college im gonna go to Columbia university and successfully live off campus and the most beautiful perfect apartment ever for cheap!:) cus y not

in conclusion everything i want is already mine and has always been mine.

[apocalypticgargoyle]

Gene... My baby mama... I need... More alt!dream... Whatever you got fr. I just need more I'm.. I love him (probs not as much as you) but I love him

You're in luck bc I'm running on rip fuel for him. [ALSO I WROTE THIS BEFORE EVERYONE DID THE TECHWEAR STUFF FOR HIM I'M SORRY. I'LL GET IT IN NEXT TIME. I PINKY SWEAR.]

𝐈𝐍𝐊𝐄𝐃. ♘ 𝐚𝐥𝐭!𝐃𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦 (𝟏𝟖+)

pairing: alt!Dreamwastaken x fm!reader

warnings: smut (18+), language, semi-public sex, light mentions of needles, domination

previous part ♘ fanart that i can't stop crying over

recommended listening: Hi Frequency by Vague002

The bus swayed slightly, your grip on the cool bar tightening to keep you from knocking into Clay as it turned. The dark city outside the windows bustled with sparkling lights, catching your eye every few seconds. As more people filed into the cramped space, Clay grabbed your hand, looping your arms around his waist and smugly grinning as you fought not to blush. He brushed a strand of hair behind your ear. “Will this be your first time in a parlor?” He asked, voice low and raspy as he whispered to you, not wanting to disturb the other members of society who just wanted to get home after a long day of work.

You nodded your head, making him chuckle. You knew it would be a different experience, mainly because it was taking place during the tattoo shops “after hours,” which Clay had only briefly explained the benefits of attending. “What are you getting done again?” You asked, moving so your hands were holding onto his arm instead, fingers brushing against the exposed skin peeking from beneath the cut-up shirt under his dark jacket.

He shrugged. “I couldn’t decide. Why don’t you pick?” He joshed, smirking at the way your eyebrows raised.

“I don’t want to be responsible for a mark on you,” you murmured, making him snort.

He hooked his fingers into the neckline of his shirt, stretching it down enough to reveal the litter of hickeys peppering his skin that you had left the night before. Your eyes widened as you swatted away his hand, looking around carefully in hopes that no one had seen them. He looped an arm around your shoulders, loving the fact that you were so worried about the crowd when all he wanted to do was fluster you.

He pressed his lips to your cheek, the warmth of his body encompassing you. “I love it when you get all blushy,” he teased. “Seriously though, you should pick. I won’t look at it if I don’t like it,” he snarked.

You groaned lightly. “Clay, come on.” He brushed his lips against yours.

“I trust you, sweetheart,” he cooed almost mockingly, his nose moving to press into your hair.

You chewed on the inside of your cheek, trying your best to remember what was already on his body. You thought about the impending reality that whenever he saw the new tattoo, his mind would linger on you, and for some reason, heat traveled to your ears at that thought. “Um… what about a bird?” You asked, voice uneasy as if on eggshells.

His face twisted into a pleased smile. “A bird?” He repeated. You shrugged beneath his arm, making him chuckle. “I like that. George likes doing bird tattoos too, so you might just make his night,” he added, his praise and approval making your stomach fill with confidence. He pulled you closer, his lips brushing against your shoulder. Your mind began to forget what the two of you probably looked like to the other people as his scent invaded your senses. “Will you hold my hand while I’m in the chair?” He joked.

You scoffed. “Are you gonna cry?” You teased, making him chuckle.

“No, I’m just clingy,” he answered without skipping a beat. Your grin was hidden in the soft corduroy of his jacket.

The tattoo parlor was nothing like you had expected. The door was locked behind you after a bouncer let the two of you in, the man leading you two up a staircase and into a dimly lit room. The sound of heavy metal music and the buzz of tattoo guns swirled together, echoing off the dark brick walls. You slipped your hand into Clay’s as he talked to the receptionist, your eyes attempting to focus on one detail instead of letting the atmosphere overwhelm you.

The thick layer of smoke above your heads made you scoff, realizing it was coming from the opposite corner of the shop, a hookah lamp sitting on a coffee table like an outstretched octopus. The people around it seemed to be discussing something rather intense, their haircuts sharp and defining almost as if they stepped out of some kind of alternative fashion magazine. There were three tattoo artists, each with a white lamp focusing on their work as they carried on to the beat of the music.

Clay’s description of the place flashed into your mind, making you realize just how off the cards the parlor actually was. Clay took a toothpick from the receptionist’s desk, taking it between his white teeth before being waved down by a shorter man with dark hair across the floor. You followed closely behind him as Clay greeted the man; you quickly realizing that this was the famous George.

As Clay shrugged out of his jacket, George pulled out a binder, standing beside you as he flipped to a page with scattered drawings of different flight poses of birds. Your eyes drifted away from the page as Clay’s arms came into view. His old t-shirt with the sleeves ripped off was doing wonders for his biceps. Before you knew it, the two of you agreed on a mix of a few designs resembling a crow and Clay was laying on his back with his hand tucked behind his head. The spot he was filling was in the dead center of the flesh of his upper arm; a spot that George had grumbled about being awkward to reach, especially on someone as large as Clay.

You watched closely with curious eyes as George began to tattoo the design on Clay’s arm. Clay’s other hand was wrapped around the back of your elbow as you leaned on the chair at Clay’s side. His finger pads drew circles into your skin as you asked George about how he got into tattooing, making small talk here and there.

You liked George, mainly because he was quiet until he conjured up some kind of relentless backhanded comment. His tattoos revolved around a giant tree stretching from his back and down his arms. You wondered how long he had to sit for it and what the healing process was like. As he worked, his teeth played at his snake bite piercings, his dark eyes focused intently on the work in front of him.

Clay switched his toothpick to the other side of his mouth, his hand tightening around your arm with a small groan as George reached a sensitive spot. “Don’t be such a pussy,” he grumbled, continuing his work. He stopped, cleaning off some of the sprayed ink and filling a new cap with grey. “You have any work, pretty girl?” He asked you, voice low and charming.

You shook your head, earning a small tsk from him. “This is the closest she’s been to a tattoo gun,” Clay prided, making George sarcastically raise his eyes.

“A total virgin, huh?” He joked, winking at you. “Dream’s not corrupting you, is he?”

You chewed the inside of your cheek trying not to blush. “I’m trying,” Clay leered, smirking at you with his smug ego hinting at his lips.

George bit back a laugh. “Don’t get horny in my chair,” he muttered, eyes trained on the lines he was scaring into Clay. “Speaking of, I heard you got busted up by Punz, and by the looks of it… seems right,” he commented, gesturing to Clay’s eye that seemed to have started fading finally.

Clay let out a dry laugh. “His ribs are still healing,” you added, making George smirk with a shake of his head.

“You know what all that’s about right?” George asked you, taking his foot off the pedal to grab more paper towels from his desk. You looked up at Clay whose jaw tense as he chewed on the toothpick. After you shook your head, George continued. “Punz’s sister is stupidly in love with Dream,” he plopped back in his seat, swiveling his chair, and drawing a hand through his locks, revealing the bleached undersection. You had the fleeting mental image of him tying his hair back to reveal it.

He pulled on a new glove. “Madly in love, huh?” You pried, twisting your chair closer to Clay’s shoulder. Clay rolled his eyes at the fact as if he had been bugged about it for years. “You didn’t tell me you had a girlfriend, Clay,” you teased, and he looked up at you with a tired expression, making you bite back a giggle.

After George finished, you followed Clay through the door, breathing in the fresh air; or as fresh as it could be in the midst of the city’s industrial square. Clay’s fingers knitted together with yours as he led you down an alleyway, flicking aside the toothpick. You chewed on your lip in anticipation before he pinned you against one of the walls. His devious grin sent shivers down your spine as you looked up at him.

You swallowed. “Shouldn’t you take it easy? Let your arm heal a bit?” You asked, voice coming out in a soft whisper as his lips pressed against your neck. “Won’t it hurt a bit with your ribs, too?” Your heart hammered in your chest at the fact that someone could turn the corner and catch the two of you.

He chuckled against your skin, slipping his hands beneath your skirt to grip your ass. “I like the pain,” he mused, tongue grazing against your skin as he pulled your hips against his. He kissed you hungrily as if not being able to press his body against yours for that hour was too much for him. His hand dropped to wrap around the back of your knee, moving his own leg to prop your thigh up against his hip as your hands dug into his hair.

The friction from his jeans made you moan into his mouth as his hand moved beneath your shirt, fingers fitting beneath your bra to palm your breast. He mumbled praises against your lips at how good you made him feel and how beautiful you were.

He turned you, your hands planting against the coarse brick as he ground his hips against you. You bit your lip, trying not to be loud enough to draw attention to the two of you, which seemed to be the last thing on Clay’s mind as you heard him unbuckle his belt behind you. You could practically picture his cocky grin, controlling eyes set as his hand gripped onto your hips, shoving your underwear to the side. “You were so much fun to show off tonight,” he chided darkly, lips brushing against your shoulder. “Such a good girl.”

As he pushed into you, one of his hands moved to knot into your hair. He moaned at the feeling of you clenching around him, tugging on your hair as he pulled your hips back against his. A low grunt tumbled from his lips as he set his rhythm, basking in the fact that you were secretly ready for him to ruin you as soon as you stepped into the parlor.

His fingers moved to wrap around your neck, the thought of his tattooed hand tightening around your pristine skin sent shivers through your body and heat flushing your cheeks, the tension in your body tightening. As he pressed you closer against the wall, you thought about the power he had over you; his height and build would make it easy for him to break you if he wanted, yet even as he pounded into you like he wanted you to forget your own name, the restraint he showed was enough to send you over the edge if you let yourself divulge in the thought.

Clay pulled out of you, only to turn you, your shoulders hitting the wall again with a soft thump as he hoisted you up ever so slightly, thrusting up into you as his hand dig into your thigh, the other resting against the brick beside your head. Your arms looped beneath his jacket, raking down his skin as you held onto him.

He groaned as your thighs tightened around him, making his hips stutter as if he were trying not to let himself finish too early. He dug is face into the crook of your neck, burying his teeth in your neck to stifle his grunts of your name. Your head tilted back against the brick, hand moving to tighten around the wrist that was beside your head for some kind of anchor.

His hand wrapped around your waist, driving himself deeper into you, brushing the part of you that needed him the most. You moaned, carding your fingers into his hair as he pressed his lips to yours roughly, wanting to taste your pleasure as it washed over you from his movements.

You tugged on his hair, making his cock throb inside of you, him finishing inside you with a low groan, his hips snapping against yours to stimulate a reaction from you. The feeling of his sloppy pleasure as his movements lost their rhythm sent your hips grinding against his, his teeth marking your shoulders as a reminder of his work on you.

Your toes curled, finally reaching your orgasm as he murmured dirty expressions of him ruining your pretty clothes against the wall. As he pulled out of you, your knees felt weak, threatening to buckle beneath you. You tried not to give off how much he had trashed you, but the warmth snaking down your thighs and your bliss-ridden mind proved otherwise.

Long story short, the bus ride home was rather interesting.

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[fullfiresiren]

beauty of the dawn

jujutsu kaisen

fushiguro toji x reader

The notion of a loving family was something foreign to Fushiguro Toji. Family, to him, was a bitter word -- full of hate and abhorrence. Abandonment and fear were a commonality in his own childhood. But in you, he finds a warmth he didn’t think he deserved – a home he craved, a love that makes him feel safe; full of gentle touches and soft kisses. But he’s scared. He's broken, and angry, and he knows the threat of his family is always lurking close, snapping at his heels, ready to devour. You bring the notion of family to his doorstep, and he spooks. He panics. He can’t let them find you, he can’t and he has to give up the only feeling of warmth he has ever known to do so.

It haunts him forever – leaving behind the only woman he ever loved, and a child he will never know.

word count: 3.8k.

notes: *inhales* ANGST— lmao but really, I live for it. Toji may be a bad person, but I suck dick, not morals, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ bro I fr don’t even know what came over me. This has been like the smallest headcannon for me and somehow it turned into this horribly sad piece, and although Toji is a dick, I also think he is an incredibly complex character that, at the end of it all, was just a desperate father trying to look out for his child. I think he deserves much more than he got, and he kinda gets shat on in this fic lmao I'm so fuCKING SORRY FOR THAT--

warnings: nsfw/18+, angst, hurt no comfort, abandonment, unplanned pregnancy, pregnant reader

“Take me,” he prays, panting secrets that fall from his lips onto your soft skin; promises of pleasure as he breeds you deep. “Take all of me.”

And you do – over, and over, and over again.

Hilting him to the deepest part of yourself, and holding him close, so close, his breath a hot ghost across your face as he leans his forehead against yours. You keep him there until he is finished, taking his seed like it was sacrament. He gives you everything he has to offer, and only when you have slipped into a light slumber does he pull away.

He never strays far, though, and he cannot stay away for long. You are like sweet honey and warm sunsets; the breathing embodiment of a life he was never before privy to – the promise of something better; a miracle. Far from the cold depravity and sharp pain of his own family, in you, he found only warm touches, and words of tender affection. Toji feels so overwhelmed by the amount of love he has for you, that sometimes it’s unbearable. He feels so happy he could die.

He is not an honest man, by any means. He kills for a vocation -- and enjoys it, too. It’s something he’s good at. It’s an easy way to make money, and it helps him pay for his half of the rent on the meagre apartment you share. It also lets him keep the fridge full, make sure you’re always warm, and that you’re never without. He doesn’t really care about himself or what he has to do – so long as you’re happy.

The weight of his body is always heavy between your thighs, his chest solid, thrusts slow and deep, stretching you, making a perfect fit for himself inside you. He likes drawing it out – each time he takes you. He enjoys seeing you beg for release, relishes the way your tears slide down your flushed cheeks, because he likes being the one to kiss them away, knowing he is the only one who ever makes you feel this good. His name sounds so perfect when it falls from your lips at your height of ecstasy, and the way you take him in has him swearing he can see heaven.

You see a side of him that no one else does, but he’s dark, he’s toxic. The amount of sadness in his soul is challenged only by the sheer force of his anger. He's sure that he wasn’t always like this, but... he can’t really remember a time when he wasn’t. Everyone and everything was his enemy. He’s never really told you much about his family, or his past. His childhood had been dark, you assumed, based on the way he flinched around children, and steered clear of any conversational topics that included them or parental figures.

Toji Fushiguro was untouchable to everyone, and only just tangible to you.

He wants to be able to give you everything. He wants to lay his head on your chest in the depths of the night when he’s feeling lost, listening to the steady rhythm of your heartbeat to guide him home. He wants to come home every night, no matter what happens to him throughout the day, and be able to feel the brush of your soft lips; to taste your tongue with his – god – he wants to. But he’s afraid. He’s scared. If he gives you everything... if he shows you who he really is... what happens if you see something you don’t like? Will you pull away from him? Will you cast him out and abandon him – just like his family did? Toji isn’t feeble by any sense of the word, but he thinks that would be the one thing that would break him.

That’s why he’s only let you see glimpses... and only every now and then.

He’s just so miserable when he’s alone. He’s angry at the world, and you’re the only thing that soothes him. The only thing he has ever loved.

You’re staring at yourself in the mirror when he comes home, locked away in the too-small bathroom. You hear the keys turning in the lock; a signal of his arrival, and the door to your apartment opens, bringing with it sounds of paper bags crinkling, keys being tossed into their bowl, and huffing exhales as he struggles to kick his heavy boots off.

“Toji?”

“I’m home!” he calls, his voice a deep timbre in his chest, smooth like rich oak.

You follow it, leaving the safe space of your bathroom to find him, and when you pass the threshold into your small kitchen, he’s lifting bags of fresh groceries onto what little counter space you have. The movement carries with it droplets from an October rain that had caught him by surprise on his walk home, ones that hang from the edges of his black hair and drip down onto his damp black shirt.

“Toji,” you repeat, beaming as you bound into your small kitchen. “I have wonderful news!”

He spares you a glance between unpacking vegetables, dark eyes tracing the curve of your face, hands grasping at packets of food that need to be tossed in the fridge, and cans to be stacked in the shelves.

“Hmm?”

He offers you his face, leaning in close, pausing in his task to receive a small blessing of affection from you — a soft kiss against the scar on his lip that has his eyelashes fluttering closed, and then one more fully against yours – always greedy for any love you bestow, always chasing just one more, just once more, just another, my love, just one more...

He continues with his chore, but only when you giggle at the fluttering of kisses he peppers across your face, your jaw, suckling at your neck, your hands against his chest pushing him gently, urging him to finish his task – but not before you give him another deep kiss, all giddiness and mirth swimming in your gaze. He can’t help the deep chuckle that spills from his lips at seeing you so happy.

“Toji,” you begin, and he’s rummaging in the paper bags, brows furrowed because he could have sworn that he bought three carrots, and not two -- “I’m pregnant!”

He stills.

He can sense your beaming smile, almost feels the warmth of it on his cold skin, and it only makes him shiver.

The seconds tick by without any form of reaction, and the atmosphere grows horribly tense. Toji doesn’t look at you, but he can see from his peripheral vision that your smile slips at the same time that your shoulders round and you make yourself smaller, unconsciously closing off. You’re twisting something in your hands, suddenly nervous, and he has a nauseating feeling that settles in his gut, because he knows exactly what it is that you’re holding.

It’s proof.

“Are you... happy?” you ask, and you hate that you have to. It’s like a punch in the gut, and you’re afraid. This was not the reaction you were expecting at all.

“Are you sure?” he doesn’t know why he asks that.

He isn’t looking at you, and he isn’t moving – he’s not even blinking. You feel your hands becoming sweaty as you clutch the positive pregnancy test, mouth dry. A quickly increasing panic creeps over your skin, gripping you by the throat, and you honestly have no idea how to traverse this kind of response to your news. In the bathroom you only practiced scenarios in relation to a beaming, positive reaction.

Which room should we make into the baby’s room? Our baby can always sleep with us, though, and I know they’re definitely going to prefer you – I'm hopeless with kids... but I hope they look like you, Toji – a perfect combination of everything I love about you!

Do you want to pick names out? I hope it’s a girl... but a boy would be wonderful, too! I know the baby will adore you, no matter what! Do you have any names you like? We can name them after someone you love? If it’s a boy, I want to make his middle name yours...

Why didn’t you think he was going to show apprehension or reluctance? Why were you so idiotic to assume this is something he desired when he’s never given you any signs of wanting to start a family? He’s probably feeling entirely overwhelmed – and no wonder – you have no tact about this. Fuck, you’re stupid. You fucking idiot. Pathetic, dumb, worthless--

“Y-yes,” you reply, and your voice is a shadow of its former self. “I took three tests. I have one here--”

“How.”

You flinch a little under the curtness of his words.

“W-what—?”

“How did this happen?”

“Uhm...” your voice sounds so frail when you speak, and you can't help it. He’s making you feel like you’ve committed a horrendous sin. You’ve managed to combine the epitome of affection between the two of you into the creation of what will become a child – a perfect mix of the two of you, and yet, you’re beginning to hate yourself for doing so. You didn’t mean to... it was an accident... “We don’t... you know... use protection... and we... have sex... a lot...”

“I thought you were taking the pill.”

You feel like you want to throw up.

His entire body is unnaturally still, and he’s not looked at you once since you’ve told him. You are pretty sure that the can in his right hand is warping under the violent pressure of his grasp, and you wring your hands around the test nervously, the weight of it somehow heavy against your palms.

“I... don’t take the pill...” you remind, and then as an afterthought, you add, “I’m sorry.”

Words you never thought you would say in relation to this. You never though you would have to apologize in this kind of situation. You exhale a shaky breath, and it seems to bring him back to reality. He sets the can down on the countertop with more force than needed, and you try your best to blink back tears as you ask, “You’re... not happy... are you...?”

It’s more of a statement than a question, and it hurts to say – god, it hurts. The words sting when they leave your mouth, like a hard slap against your face, but the ache is not nearly as bad as the way his silence is wounding you. You feel like you’re about to collapse from the amount of pain you have in your heart.

“I need to go somewhere,” is the most he offers you, before he’s turning on his heels and striding past you, leaving the apartment you share.

The noise of the front door slamming shut echoes in your mind long after the sound itself has gone.

He never did come back.

  — — — 5 years later — — —

 In the end, you were blessed with a baby girl, all chubby with round, rosy cheeks. Dark hair and eyes like her father, but soft and gentle like her mother. She was an almost perfect child. She never cried, and she never fussed, content in just being close to her mother. She listened when you spoke, and learned fast, growing just as quick, and you would die for her. She was your blessing; Akemi – the beauty of a new dawn.

You’re sure that he would have loved her more than life itself, but you try not to spare any thoughts his way anymore.

Toji gambles his life away, blowing through anything he earns as quickly as he makes it, drowning himself night after night in heavy alcohol to dampen his senses until they are nothing more than a faint hum in the back of his brain.

With any luck, those things will kill him long before the guilt does.

He fucks faceless women, drunk beyond sense, and when he finishes, he leaves before they sleep.

“Hate me, (y/n),” he sneers, turning sharply to vomit up onto the wet asphalt, breath a shaky exhale as he stumbles into the cold night, thoughts only on you – only ever on you – unaware that he’s crying. “Hate me. I fucking deserve it.”

His face is smeared with bile and tears, and he is so fucking angry -- so desperately sad, and he cries, and cries. He wants to go home. He just wants to go home. He wants to meet her – his darling daughter – he wants to hold her, and kiss her forehead, and tuck her into bed. Fuck everything that he thought – he would have been a great father, he knows it – and you knew it, too. He’s so lost without you, and he wants to lay his head on your chest in the safety of your bedroom, listening to the steady rhythm of your heartbeat to guide him home. He wants to feel the brush of your soft lips again; to taste your tongue with his, moan your name into your parted sigh, make you feel him again.

He screams, but it catches in his throat before he can, and he splits his knuckles open when he sends a furious punch against a brick wall.

He can protect you from a lot of things – but not the power of his family. Not that. He’s just one man, and they’re so many. He has a heavenly restriction, and they are all blessed with both innate and inherited techniques, passed down through eons. He knows what they’ll do if they ever found out about you – about the child, and Toji swears on everything he has, that he won’t let them touch you – or her. Even if he won’t be able to. Even if he’ll never be able to hold his daughter, to thank her for being born, to cradle her against his chest and feel her wrap her small fingers against his – he won’t let the Zen’in have her. He won’t.

But that doesn’t mean that he deprives himself from watching over her – or you. Eyes follow the two of you home from her pre-school, singing nursery rhymes to your hearts content, watching as she orders “up, up, mommy!”, squealing happily when you lift her onto your shoulders. He imagines himself in your place; lifting her to higher heights, hearing her giggle a chorus of happy songs as your hand finds his, lips on his scar as you tell him how much you love him.

But he always keeps his distance, dark baseball cap shielding his features, and leaves before you feel someone following you.

It becomes increasingly hard to keep it at that. He starts pushing the boundaries, testing how close he can get. He knows he shouldn’t -- he has no right to – but when she dropped her stuffed toy one time in the supermarket, and you were oblivious to it, he finds himself bending down to grasp the too-soft toy in his calloused hands, dropping it in your basket when your back is turned, and your brows are furrowed as you regard the price difference between her favorite flavor of juice compared to the off-brand ones.

The thrill of being so close, of doing something, anything fatherly, was like a fix – a short relief from the aching despair and loneliness constantly plaguing him, and he finds himself doing it more and more – always pushing, always testing the waters. He even smiled at her once when she caught him staring, and she sent her own toothy grin back at him. His heart soared.

His daughter’s name was Akemi, and he first heard it when it fell from your lips one warm afternoon. He wants to write her name on his heart – right beside yours.

He wants to give her something – a pretty gift, but he doesn’t know what. He was never good at buying presents, and would only ever bring you flowers, since it seemed like something that could never go wrong, and would always bring a bright smile to your face. Flowers would be strange for a child, though. He twists the dainty silver bracelet between his large fingers, thinking bitterly that this was the same way you held the pregnancy test all those years ago. He didn’t really care how much it cost him. He’s sure that the salesman added unnecessary tax and extras to the price just to give himself more commission, but Toji doesn’t care – he just wanted something pretty to give to his daughter.

When he finally sees her enter the park, small hand tugging yours happily, his mind goes empty, and he can’t stop staring. You are as beautiful as ever, and it’s no wonder his daughter is so ethereal when she has you for a mother.

She is perfect, he thinks -- too good for this life -- and even though it’s the worst thing he has ever done, he is reminded that pulling away from you was the only way to save her from his family. It looks like she escaped the curse of inheriting any of his bloodline's techniques, and what’s more so – it seems like she, too, is oblivious to curses; skipping past them as she chases leaves that skit about the dirt path of the park, her teddy in her arms. Toji dips his head down when she draws near the bench he’s sitting on, the brim of his baseball cap keeps his face hidden, and his sadness known only to himself.

“Excuse me?”

He bristles when her voice floats past his ears, so gentle and sweet.

“Hey, mister,” she pokes his knee with her slim finger, so tiny compared to the size of his body, and he jerks at the contact. “Is this yours?”

She’s holding the bracelet in her small hand, the silver glinting in the morning sun, offering it up to him with large eyes, so close to him. At this distance, he can see the true color of her eyes – exactly like his own – and the small freckles that dot her skin. The longer he stares, the more his chest constricts painfully, tightly – he’s finding it hard to breathe, and he exhales suddenly, sharply snatching it away from her.

The force of the movement causes her to stumble a little, tripping over her feet, and before she knows it, the man who was once sitting before her has entirely caught her in his large arms, scooping her up before the ground has a chance to harm her.

She blinks once... twice... swaddled in his arms, sitting against his broad chest, and Toji frantically looks for you, finding you caught up in talking to another mother, too busy to notice. He knows he would scold you for it if he was still in your life, but when his daughter laughs, he snaps his head back to look at her, forgetting what thoughts he had in his mind at the glinting sound of her happiness.

“Whoa!” she exclaims, “You’re fast! Thanks for catching me!”

He doesn’t know what to say – if he should say anything at all. His plan was to give her the bracelet, telling her that it was a late birthday gift from someone that loves her very much, and walking off before she (or you) has the chance to catch on or respond. But now that he’s inches away from her, holding her close as she peers up at him, he’s lost again. He’s lost, and he can’t breathe. He needs you to steady him, but you aren’t here, and he doesn’t know what to do, what should he do, what should he--?

“Where did you get that scar from?” she asks innocently, her large eyes suddenly trained on the mark beside his lips.

“F-from an accident,” he mumbles, “a long time ago.”

“Oh,” she hums, hands splayed against his broad chest, looking around her, swaying her legs absentmindedly. “Wow, you’re really tall! I can see everything from up here!” she exclaims happily, “My mommy’s not as tall as this, so when I sit on her shoulders, I can’t see nearly as much as I can now!”

“Oh,” he mutters, not really knowing what to say, “is that so?”

“Mhm,” she nods, “Mommy’s not as big as you are either.”

At this, he gives a genuine laugh – a sound he hasn’t heard fall from his lips in a long, long time, looking at her with quiet adoration.

“She’s not as fast as you either,” she continues, “you were super-fast!”

“She’s strong in her own ways, though,” he mutters, offering her a soft smile.

“Do you know my mommy?”

He bristles, actively avoiding her gaze. His heart is racing from this much interaction with his daughter, and he’s sure she can feel it under her small palm. It beats for her – if only she knew, and Toji contemplates, for the briefest of seconds, just telling her. The thought leaves his mind as soon as it enters. He doesn’t have that choice, and he doesn’t deserve it.

“Not really,” he mutters, dipping down slowly to set her footing on solid ground once more.

“She’s really pretty,” the little girl continues, playing with the soft fabric of his t-shirt in a small moment of fondness and familiarity, “and nice – and she makes great food!”

Toji realises only after the fact that his hand had settled on top of her head, and he’s stroking her hair softly, thumb caressing her cheek when he moves to cup her face. She doesn’t seem to mind at all, and Toji is overwhelmed with a plethora of emotions. Pride in you for doing all this by yourself and raising such a wonderful child, shame for abandoning you and his daughter, mirth, anger, warmth, sadness, love--

“Akemi!” you call, seeing her lift her head at the sound of your voice. “This way, honey!”

“Oh, I have to go now! My mommy is calling me!” she perks up, gripping her teddy a little tighter and offering the man a smile. “Bye-bye!”

“W-wait!” he calls, thrusting the gift into her small hands. “This is for you, uh... f-from me...”

She looks down at it, before her whole face lights up, and Toji is suddenly breathless – she looks so much like you when she’s surprised, happiness blossoming over her face the same way it would on yours.

Toji feels a deep-rooted emptiness inside his body when he watches his daughter retreat away from him; a living embodiment of all his failures to you, and yet, as he sees her long, black hair whip out behind her, he realizes something else — she was your promise delivered; a combination of everything good between the two of you, in itself a miracle. He might not be in her life, but he was also partly responsible for creating something so beautiful, so ethereal.

He knows he doesn’t deserve it, but if he was ever fortunate enough to be granted a second, it would be a miracle; a holy gift.

A blessing that would accompany the beauty of dawn.